The Yak - Dave Portnoy and Sas Square Off in an All-Out Debate | The Yak 5-11-23

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Take care of your healthYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I don't know how to react. Nah, Dave isn't here. Thank you. How you feeling, Sass? I feel, dude, I mean, I feel fine. I thought everyone outside is making me fucking horrified. It's unbelievable. I know.

People have been coming up to you and are like, dude, like, I can't believe it. I was sitting at my desk listening to music and everyone's like, so what is your plan? Yeah, what fucking weirdos. Somebody go to war for my boy. It's like, all right. Someone said that to you? Yeah. In the office? Uh-huh. Who? Oh, all right. Someone said that to you? Yeah. In the office?

Uh-huh. Who? Oh, you know who it was? Big Cat? No. Nate? Owen. Oh.

And I'm ready. Why would you say Nate? Yeah, why would you say Big Cat? I don't know. He's the last person that would go to war for you. I had a talk with Big Cat last night. He's going to go away. At four in the morning.

Called him. Called him. He answered. He's going to go away. At four in the morning. Called him. Called him. He answered. He was like, hey, are you awake? Psst. I can't sleep. Psst.

Hey, Big Cat. What are you doing? Hey, Big Cat. He's probably psyching himself up, too, like getting ready. I don't know where the fuck he is. Kind of need him in here, though. Hope he doesn't bail. You want it ASAP. Yeah.

Seth started answering people out there, and then everyone was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, save it, Seth. Save it for Dave. I don't really think I said anything bad. I wasn't putting him down or anything. Is this a big event, I guess? I don't even know if he's going to be on the show. The Yak brought to you by Roback. We love Roback here.

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Yeah, that's fine enough weather. It does look light and airy. It looks comfortable. Yeah, highs are overrated. Weather highs. Highs are overrated. I was going to say, not. What do you plan your day for?

The mean temperature or the low? The commute. So, like, what is it when I'm coming in and going out? I'm inside most of the day. I plan for the high. You're not outside for that. Maybe. Do you guys wear sunscreen?

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I mean, I'm already in the regret phase of my life. I use a moisturizer that has SPF, so every day I'm putting a little something on there. You're supposed to. Every day you have some sort of sun protection. It's melanoma. Only on the face. Only on the face. But what is that?

I'm just trying to call. My phone dialed. My most recent call. Oh. Oh. All right, Sass. Get him ready. How do we get this?

TJ, we got your TV on there. We're just seeing TJ's Twitter scrolling. All right. So how often are you in the sun? Well, now I'm doing, now that I started this douchebag shit, I'm doing like 30 minutes a morning. When did you start douchebag shit? Did I miss this?

Yeah, you did. You miss douchebag shit? You do miss this? Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah. That's douchebag shit? Yeah. You do just go to a park and sit outside? I live right next to Washington Square Park, so I just walk around the fountain like 50 times. I love that park. Do you do 50?

That sounds nice. Probably like 30-ish. That sounds nice as fuck. I'm also doing so much whack shit, but 90 minutes before the first caffeine dose, and they say you don't crash later in the day. So I'm trying it day one today. We'll see. I can't commit to that on a daily basis.

What do you mean 90 minutes? 90 minutes outside? From when you wake up to when you have your caffeine. Okay. That's not terrible. It kind of is. Do you usually drink caffeine? Yeah, it's the first thing I do.

Oh, really? Hey, I'm sorry. I butt dialed you. It was the most recent call. But I just, all right, love really hey i'm sorry i butt dialed you it was the most recent call but i just all right love you i'm sorry i'm in the middle of the show too worried about sass all right all right i love you all right bye but it was my most recent call yeah i'll call back huh you guys were just talking yesterday. Yeah. Often.

Why? I don't know. I'm not. I thought the wrestling thing was enough. I'm taking your life. Yeah. You know you're kind of worried that he might be able to. There's like a 10% chance. I think there's like a 30% or like a 50% chance.

Take your life. My life? I know he can take my mom. I mean, that's not. I think she would bail a 30% chance. Take your life. My life? I know I can take my mom. I mean, that's not, I think she would bail on me in a heartbeat. My sister would go quickly, too. That would be no problem. Kids? Kids.

I got my kids. You're not going to be able to get my kids. No, you don't. I'm young and rambunctious. Yeah, Nick's fun. You might be able to get Tommy. Yeah, you see me playing video games with him? He's a Pokemon guy.

That's more interesting than wrestling the kids. He actually helped pick out their Pokemon gift for Christmas. I bought their Christmas gift for him. Well, alright. That's a thing. Where's Big Cat? She knew I was live.

There he is. TJ, you lied. I'm talking. TJ, what are you doing up at 3.30 in you lied. I'm talking. I'm talking. TJ, what are you doing up at 3.30 in the morning, too? Sorry, guys. Working. It's all good.

Hey, buddy. What's up? Dave said he might come in at the end. There we go. Okay. Why? You think he's scared? Sass once said that.

Might end. I think he's scared. He said he's going to try to make it for the end. Try to make it. I'm going to say he's scared. Try to make it for the end. Man. What a pussy. We going to say he's scared. Try to make it for the end. Oh, man. What a pussy.

We're only doing like a 30-minute episode today, right? Yeah. I had to go short today. How's everyone doing? KB, what's with? Yeah, I walked into an onslaught of remarks about how wacky and goofy this shirt is. You look like you're. Aloha.

Hey, you look like you're about to greet us at a five-star resort. I wish, yeah. Yeah, I like it. Are they flowers? Are they upside-down jellyfish? They're flowers. I think they're wilting. Yeah, these are flowers.

It's pretty fly. I like it. Thank you. What are you wearing? Yeah. Oh. I didn't know he was here. Come on in.

Bert's here. What's up, Bert? What's up? Are we gambling? We could. We'll be know he was here. Come on in. Bert's here. What's up, Bert? What's up? Are we gambling? We could. We'll be later. We could. Bert is here.

His movie's about to come out. Was it Memorial Day? Memorial Day weekend. It comes out in theaters. The Machine. Go to themachine.movie to get your tickets. I look fat. Bert, we have a question for you that actually works perfectly.

Love this. Do you think Dave Portnoy, in a retirement show, so he's retiring from all content, do you think he could sell out MSG in Evening of Hate, he would call it, where he just rips every single person that's ever wronged him and tells all the stories that he couldn't say. It's 20,000 seats. Mm-hmm.

To be honest. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It starts with the, what's the journal people? Business Journal? Oh, Business Insider. Oh, yeah. No, he's got a long list.

He's got a long list. Long, long list. Yeah, he can sell it out. Yeah, easily. Doing everyone. I don't know. I'll Google it right now. I'll tell you right now if he can sell out MSG. It's $ a long list. Long, long list. He can sell it out. Yeah, easily. Do it everywhere. I don't know. I'll Google it right now. I'll tell you right now if he can sell out MSG.

It's $27.89. $27.89. No, no, no. Hold on. He's not going in the round, okay? We're going to do end stage. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

No, in the round, it's $27. Oh, that's $27? Yeah. Also, Stu Feiner said he would buy 6,000 tickets if he had to, just so he would sell it out. That has to help, right? I'm going to buy 1,000 tickets. That has to help. I want to see.

I would love to see someone burn it to the ground. Like, actually? Actual arson. Machine? Like, bring it in there. Just start a small fire at the center stage? No, no, no, no. Burn it to the ground.

All the people that fucked him over burned it. Oh, yes, yes. I would love to see that. That's what he would want to do. I'm telling you, the thing i burned this place to the ground the thing i love about dave is that he doesn't give a fuck right the thing i love about dave is that he is he isn't beholden to anyone well it used to not be yeah he now so like the last few years that that's part of the evening of hate he's had to hold his tongue every now and then to, you know.

I've been there. All that stuff. And so he would basically release all of the times that he's held his tongue. Dude, fuck yeah he sells out the garden. Someone Google trends it. Who's bigger, me or Dave? I'll tell you if you can sell out the garden. We had that discussion too.

We brought you up. Who's the birder, Dave? Who's bigger? Who's bigger? Who is bigger? I don't know. I'll tell you right now. Physically, you.

So we said you have the. By the way, who's got a better swing in baseball is a real question. Dave. He tweets the same clip over and over of him hitting a double. He was like 18. No, when he was like. 12, 13. 12.

All right, so here's why, Bert. He's got a left-handed swing. That's why. Lefty swings. Lefty swings are always prettier. Always look better. I'm a better athlete than Dave, top to bottom. Probably, yeah, probably. I mean, he can't do anything with his shoulders.

By the way, no shade on Dave. I'm just saying. I'll do more push-ups than he can do. Yes. I will hit a baseball out of a park before he will. Yes. I can drive longer than he could. Yep.

Basketball, he'd probably take me. No, I doubt it. I got him in basketball. Definitely, I'll drink him. He can out-fuck me easy. Those last two sports. What? Drinking and fucking are sports?

I think drinking and fucking are sports. Okay. I do it as a sport. I'm retired from both. Oh, for real? Yeah. How do you gauge if you're good at fucking? Well, there's two parts in it

yeah do you enjoy it and do they enjoy it okay so let's start let's start with you do you want part to me um are you sitting hang on are you sitting there saying i don't want to have an orgasm i don't want to have an orgasm stop stop stop stop stop uh out loud in your head oh uh i think it's sometimes about half the time. Okay. All the time. For me, it's a number of squats

and reverse cowgirl. Yeah. I hit about five and then the burning starts and I, that's it. Out of breath. My wife's like that.

Yeah, it's tough. My wife did reverse cowgirl one time and she was like, am I supposed to just look at your feet? Like, yeah,

kind of. Yeah. All right, I'm Googling me and Dave Portnoy. Are you ready? Oh, I think we have it right here. Where am I? So this is just Google searches.

Oh, that's blue. Wow. Thin blue line. So yeah, you're bigger. No, but that's just, that's only a year, right? What happened on that? 12 months.

What happened there? Yeah, what? Yeah, what was it? Razzle Dazzle, my special. Nice. Oh. And it's going to do another pump, I think, when my movie comes out.

When the machine comes out yeah you have a lot of international fans which do you guys do right not not nearly as much i would say we're huge in uh no i don't know are you how i wait how i've been watching you golf a lot yeah how's your golf terrible for real oh yeah So fascinating to me because you guys are, I enjoy watching you guys gamble. Yeah. And I'm being dead serious. I quit gambling a while back only because the risk to reward, I couldn't find the sparkle anymore. Like if, I have a lot of money.

And so $25,000 doesn't do it for me the way that it I don't mean to sound callous but like to bet $25,000 it isn't like it doesn't sparkle me the way that it used to like $1,000 when I was broke the fucking sparkle would make your heart

well you spend your money on random shit I do yeah which I appreciate you bought Hitler's te random shit? I do. Which I appreciate. Yeah. You bought Hitler's teacup. No, Tom bought Hitler's teacup. Did you have it in your house? It's in my house, yeah. No, it's in my other house.

Where is it now? I have five houses, but like one of them. Five? Yeah, five houses. But one of them is a straight-up podcast studio, like a barstool setup, where it's got a bullpen, it's got four podcast setups, and then Hitler's teacup is in there.

But I bought a bunch of other teacups, so it's like the Holy Grail, so no one knows which one they're drinking. You know which one? I do. Some people have drank out of it. Yeah, people, yeah. Shout out to Kevin Smith.

That's genius. You do a shot with everyone and you pour them a tea cup. He doesn't know. People go, hey, man, thank you. And then you just take a picture. Enjoy the drink. So wait, are you doing a show when you're here in New York? I'm doing Good Morning America tomorrow.

Oh, no. And then, yeah, I know. That's early. Well, it's early, but yeah, it's early. And it's not this. Like, it's not like the fun where we can just talk about anything. Yeah. It's pretty scripted.

Yeah. So. So you got to, like, are you wearing a suit? No. No, I had a stylist come in and style me, and I gained 10 pounds. So I don't fit in any of the clothes. Oh, yeah, that happens. Are you on steroids now

I am yeah how's that going love it really I shoot gear every day every other day does it feel like a puberty renaissance

dude my dick is hard non-stop so it might be worth my dick is hard non-stop non-stop what about the negative right now

what negative say negative say negative that I'm more jacked than I've ever been in my entire life I can do 50 pushups that I fuck non-stop that I fucking dick rock hard oh i come a little less and instead of

it feels like no there's nothing what about shortened lifespan any short terms i know i'm already looking down that barrel what is it a week so you can feel it like you you i don't know why you're not on it. I know I want to be on it. You're a good looking dude with a full head of hair and a great body. You're taller than the average man. You're taller than the average man. You get on steroids. You start doing some deadlifts. You start doing some shoulder presses

and all of a sudden you'll start walking I worked out with Arnold Schwarzenegger yesterday or two days ago and Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger was like this body days ago. And Arnold, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was like, this body's perfect. To you? To me.

He is right about you. You on steroids would look... I do have the... How old are you, Dan? 38. Okay, you're still young. Yeah, see, I don't think... You look so much older. I appreciate that.

No, my hair. You're still young as shit. I know, my hair's... Your testosterone's probably still up there. You can just get older. I appreciate that. No, my hair. You're still young as shit. I know. My hair is pretty. Your testosterone is probably still up there. You can just get there. Yeah. I do look older.

I need to get younger. Does it make your penis small? Nope. Not yet? I mean, it's already, I don't know. Yeah. Doesn't it get smaller? Let's define small.

Let's define small. Well, isn't that a thing with steroids? Your penis gets smaller? No, it's just your balls. It's just your balls. That was what Nancy Reagan did with cocaine. Listen, cocaine's fucking awesome also. I don't know why

everyone's shitting on all these drugs. You're buying into the propaganda. Tell me the things you heard about steroids and I'll debunk them. The only one I've heard is the, well there was that old famous commercial of the statue breaking. Well, if your balls get smaller, wouldn't that mean your dick gets bigger?

Kind of. Relatively. See? Every glass has a half full. Right. Exactly. All right. So the only negative I would say is you could get a comically large head like Barry Bonds.

My head's gotten actually bigger. Yeah. Your jaw. I'm not even joking. Acne. Irritation or anger. Like, burn. Shut the fuck up, dude.

No, my head's gotten bigger. Have you noticed any roid rage? I mean, they're not. The other thing about steroids is it's like everyone thinks of it as like 80s, like Russia, like needles and stuff. That's not what it is anymore. You're on TRT or something? It's testosterone replacement. I'm on, I'll tell everyone my exact dosage, only because is anymore it's what you're on trt or something it's testosterone replacement i'm on i'll tell everyone my exact dosage only because i think it's fair i take 25 milligrams

i think or 0.25 whatever it is uh three times a week so 75 whatever the things are of testosterone wait i sleep amazing i have so much more energy the The sidebars are my dick is hard all the time. But that's not bad. I enjoy it. I'm in a great relationship with my wife. We have sex like fucking crazy. And I'm like I'm through the roof. I'm the

happiest I've ever been. How long have you been doing it? Brandon, you should get on steroids. Yeah, you actually. I'm 44. God damn it, you should get on steroids. I should get on steroids. Yeah, you actually. I'm 44. God damn it, you look old. Is it the lighting in here? How old do I look? No, it's kids.

44 is not old. How many kids do you have? Four. Whoa. You can pull out, right? No, I have a very successful penis. It's made you look so much older. You haven't seen his life either.

Really? Yeah, big tits. Huge titties. Big tits. I can use a hard day. i'm telling you is the sex more pleasurable uh probably not part of me that feels a little bit more of a bro on it like when i'm when i'm having sex i definitely like like the other night we could we go we spent the night shutters in santa monica and i i switched positions a couple times which I don't normally do

and I fucking loved it. You had the confidence. Yeah, because you're like, this isn't going away. Yeah, I love it. Was it because you were like, I just randomly want to get ripped or was it because somebody told you

you're going to just feel... All his friends started doing it. That's the best question I've ever heard in my entire life. My cardiologist, I went in and did my blood work. My cardiologist does sonograms of all my organs. And he said, hey, I think you're getting a fatty liver, which is ultimately liver disease.

It's a fatty liver. Everyone's got one. Like, everyone's got one. The majority of Americans have a fatty liver. Most people just don't. It's not the thing that's going to kill you. Yeah. But for me, I've always been hyper aware of my liver. I said, I definitely don't

want that. He's like, well, then quit drinking. And I was like, well, that's not going to happen. And he said, going testosterone. I went, what? He said, testosterone and milk thistle can help repair your liver. And I was like, dude, I just needed a cheat code. That's all I need is a cheat code.

You just needed a doctor to tell you. My cardiologist told me to go on testosterone, so immediately I hit up Tommy. Oh, then it's safe. I immediately hit up Tommy. I go to Ways to Wellness. Shout out to my guys over at Ways to Wellness. And they were like, send us your blood work. I sent their blood work.

They set up a protocol to just take care of my body the way it was, to lower all my numbers, to get my numbers healthy. They told me what wine to drink. They're like, don't drink Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon. Drink Malbec. It's lower in sulfites. You're high in sulfites. Your inflammation's up.

They just gave me a protocol of vitamins and pills. I take milk dosage twice a day. I take testosterone. And so I'm telling you. You feel it. Look, I flew all night long. I got on the red eye last night. I went and did NFL networks.

I came here. I've been drinking since then. I don't look drunk, right? No. Yeah. Are you drunk right now? I'm fucking with you. Okay, so here's one thing I have heard.

Once you get on it, you have to stay on it for the rest of your life. Sure. I mean, I guess. Yeah, I guess that's not a bad thing. You just feel great. Brush my teeth every day. You got to feel great for the rest of your life. Yeah, I mean, I actually, in a weird fucking BDSM way, love shooting gear.

Like, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Is it a needle? God damn. Yeah. You're like the prick here. I like everything about it.

I like having people shoot me up. I've had a bunch of people shoot me up. In the ass? In the ass, yeah. I used to do it in my stomach, but I take my shirt off. You can see like a bruising. Yeah. I do it in the ass now.

I love it. I love the ritual of it. You actually go to a dirty alley to do it, right? What? You go to a dirty alleyway to do it in the ass now i love it i love the ritual of it i actually go to a dirty alley to do it right just you go to a dirty alleyway to do it right just for the ambiance i can understand people that get addicted to heroin just the ritual of it like i like i love i love when it's a gear today's a gear do you guys want to shoot me up yeah that'd be awesome yeah someone get peter he's got my gear with him. Peter has your gear? Peter. Can we all do a shot?

Jordan, what's the next interview he's got to do? I pay a lot for this testosterone. Just a little one? Today's my gear day. It's Thursday. Yeah, we'll shoot you up. Where's- This is like Stu Feiner does it. He does it every two weeks, and you can tell when he's right off of it.

That's when I get nervous, because other people are like, yeah, I do it once every two weeks, and I'm like, I do it every two days. Yeah. Damn. I might be on the Rogan protocol. I'm kind of jealous, man. Dude, it's fun. It's fun.

I think I'm too young, though. To get your testosterone checked. What does that mean? I think you're, I think you, he did it through an actual doctor. If I went into a doctor, I think they'd be like, your testosterone levels are still normal. You don't go to a doctor at all, I'm guessing. Yeah, that's what I would look like right there.

You would? God damn. When was the last time you went to a doctor? That would make you less funny. Went to a doctor? Yeah. A year ago. What did you go for?

Did you get sick? Blood work. For real? I thought you had cancer. Yeah, he thought he had cancer. Oh, that was two years ago. Sass had a rash at the same time, so that kind of trumped. So when you're a grown up.

I, for the most part, don't have a rash. I haven't been to the doctor in like four years. Okay. Well, yeah, you're a child. So like when you're a grown up, and I don't mean that to disrespect, but when you're a grown up, you go every six months. You get blood work every six months. What? No, you don't. Yeah, you're supposed to.

You're also a child, Brandon. I'm not a child. You're a little boy. When was the last time you were at the doctor? Well, yesterday. What was that for? I got bit by a child, Brandon. I'm not a child. You're a little boy. When was the last time you were at the doctor? Well, yesterday. What was that for? I got bit by a spider. Oh. Oh, yeah. Holy shit.

What the fuck? I can see the bite. Fuck. God damn. I thought I got bit by a spider, but it's a bitch bite. It took me down for a couple days. I got bit by a tick. Oh, do they take it out?

You got Lyme's disease? Probably. They take it out? You got Lyme's disease? I'm on antibiotics right now to get rid of it. Did they take it out? It falls out. It falls out on its own. Oh, you didn't even notice the tick? Is it still in there? No.

Oh, it fell out. I had extreme fatigue and nausea yesterday, so I went to the doctor yesterday. But before this, like three weeks. Did they do your blood pressure and whatnot? Oh, yeah. And then, yeah, so I go to the doctor every six months. I get all my blood work taken.

I get every three years I get a stress test. I think every five years I get a CT scan. Does it cost a lot? No, I have insurance. I know you have insurance, but is there extra? There's not extra? No, no. To do all this you have insurance, but is there extra? There's not extra? No, no, no. To do all this?

It seems like there would be extra. I would look. Barry Bonds wasn't coming with insurance. Money's not my strong suit. All I know is price point. My wife had a concierge doctor when I was partying really hard, like coming off tour. My wife got a concierge doctor to come to the house and give me everything,

and it was like $5,000, and they did everything. We ended up going to the, we did a chest scan, we did everything, we did everything top to bottom. I think those were a waste of fucking money personally. But if you go to get a checkup, blood work, blood pressure, they'll find everything. And you have to do it, you have to do it. I'm on statins, I'm on cholesterol medicine,

I'm on blood pressure medicine, I'm on baby aspirin. I have a litany of vitamins that I take. I'm on gear. I love it. You have to do it. I'm on statins. I'm on cholesterol medicine. I'm on blood pressure medicine. I'm on baby aspirin. I have a litany of vitamins that I take. I'm on gear. I love it. I love it. Take care of your fucking health. I mean, look, I party hard as fuck. You should. I'm just going to die. I also don't go to the doctor. 40 is when you start going to the doctor.

Yeah, 44. So I'm fine. You're fine, dude. Yeah, I got two more years to go to the doctor. How old are you, Brandon? 44. 44. You guys are children. How old are you, Brandon? You're 90?

57. Oh, man. You're 50? No, no, no. Oh, I was going to say you look great. I know. You look older than that. How old are you?

I'm 50. I'm 50. Okay. You look great. I look great. I feel great. I feel great. Dude, I bench press more than I've ever benched.

I can do 50 push- great. I feel great. Dude, I bench press more than I've ever benched. I can do 50 push-ups. I feel fucking phenomenal. How does it affect your creativity in, like, comedy writing? I don't think you can do 50. Oh. A Netflix special, Razzle Dazzle, did double the numbers than Hey Big Boy, and that was released four days after stay-at-home orders. I just have a movie coming out that I think, well, I wasn't on testosterone then,

but I will tell you right now, I think, well, I wasn't on testosterone then. But I will tell you right now, energy gives you creativity, I believe. Yeah. If you're tired or you're depressed or you're in anxiety or all that shit, it stifles that. When you wake up feeling gratitude, like feeling gratitude, like going, God damn it, I'm getting after it today. And you feel the sun shining on your face and you think of a person. I have a buddy who's going through it right now, not healthy. And you think of him, and you go, man, he would love today in my body.

He would love it. And then you go, I'm going after it for him. Like, I'm going to go after it for him. And then you get in the gym, and I bust my ass every day in the gym, and I know it doesn't look like it, but I do it just so I can party. Because I like to party. And so, yeah, man, I can't preach it enough. I know I sound like a fucking Alex Jones of fitness. Yeah, yeah.

That sounds like my ideal life. That sounds like the dream right there. I just kind of feel like you're here to sell us energy. I'd like to party. Dude, I tell you what, I get approached by alcohol brands all the time. Hey, man, can we pair up with you to do an alcohol thing? This is going to sound crazy. I don't mean this disrespectful, but, like, alcohol isn't my brand.

My brand is recovery. I don't do alcohol. It's like you don't. Yeah, being able to bounce back. Being able to bounce back. Remember the day we did the something's burning? Yeah. And you guys were like, man, we should cancel.

And my thing is, like, let's get it. Like, I got you guys were like man we should cancel and my thing is like let's let's get it like i got i got you guys for one day how why wouldn't i fucking i don't want to miss that opportunity i woke up i wanted kettlebell swings so i know but that's my brand if i could give you a brand of mine it wouldn't be how can i get you drunk you're already gonna do that how can i get you up and deliver the next day that if you're listening out there i that's the brand i want to be associated with i love ivs i get ivs all the time i love that work as well like so is that just like amazing that's instant recovery for him recovery doesn't recover for sleep though i learned that the hard way doesn't that's what i that's my days once and i did the iv and i was

like this i'm still feel terrible yeah you need xanax for that. Xanax is the best recovery ever. Yeah, no, you are a recovery brand. Yeah, I like to stay up all night, and then I like to get up in the morning and do it. And so that would be my brand. There's no one does that. Yeah, the bounce back guy. Bounce back kid.

But it's going to take illegal drugs to get you there so if anyone well you're doing legal i know but like but no one's gonna whatever i have in my brain that's broken no one's gonna access that right like i wake up with searing anxiety about the fear that one day i'll die and it's all gonna go black so i might as well get out of bed yeah it's a good way to think yeah like i might as well kiss my daughters like i can hear if i hear anything in the house i go get out of bed go kiss your daughters you may not ever see them again you may die today like that's the way my brain works so it's not healthy no one wants that but that's my recovery brand yeah all right so you're doing

the whole press junket when does the the movie come out? Memorial Day weekend. The machine is in movie theaters. I want to inspire people to go out to the movies and see a fucking movie. Yeah. Go to the movies. Go to a movie. When was the last time you read a movie? A couple of days ago. I just started watching movies.

What movie? My attention span was fucked for like eight years. Why? Well, uh, phone addiction. Oh, dude,

a movie is a place where you turn off your phone and you disappear into the cinema. Yeah, you bet the under. That is what I do when I go to a movie, like on a Friday night. Yeah. I'll just bet all the unders and turn my phone off. It's the only way you can bet unders, right? Yeah. I call it movie unders.

And then I come out of the movie and I'm like, oh, win, win, loss. Because I don't stress about it i can't watch an under but i can sit in a movie and have unders going on that's fucking brilliant yeah that's best i usually win because usually unders do win yeah oh yeah that's brilliant bet the movie unders everybody yeah i'm gonna go see your movie when there's like a full MLB slate. Every under. Every under on the board. Yeah, Memorial Day weekend. We're doing a special in-theater presentation. It's streaming from the red carpet.

I think Bustin' for the Boys. We offered to fly you out. Or we already offered. You already passed. Well, I'm about to have my third child. No, you already passed. I can't really fly right now. We're bringing out Bustin' for the Boys.

They're going to be out there on the red carpet. We're doing a whole in-theater presentation where we're streaming live from the red carpet. Go to the machine.movie to get your tickets. The machine.movie. And I appreciate you guys having me in and letting me hang for a second. You're the man. I'm going to piss and then go see what fucking OnlyFans Glennie Balls has. Oh.

Why don't you go on that show? I'm going to go watch. I'm going to go. I'm going to just watch. Yeah, we watch all the time. I thought this was the bathroom. Yeah. Oh, my God.

This is what we do. Half of our show is just watching. Yeah, just watching that. Glennie Balls gets a big shout out. Did you ever, did you come, you didn't come to the Super Bowl show, did you? I did. Did you see the – Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At the Mullet Arena. I know I was there. That's a big shout-out on my pre-presentation. No, I told the story, but you had – the night we went, I went with Roan and Ryan Russillo, and the Chiefs offensive line was there. Oh, yeah. And I barked at them, and I was, because I had a future on the Eagles. I was like, they're coming for you.

They're coming for you. Woof, woof, woof. And then one of the guys after they won the Super Bowl was like, how'd that go? And I was like, fuck. I did that to myself. Yeah, that was a mistake by me. It played out perfect?

Yeah, played out perfectly. Hey, I love you, brother. Thank you guys for letting me come on for a second. I'm going to piss and have a drink of Glenny Balls. I'm going to do steroids. We're going to go see the movie. Machine, only at theaters Memorial Day weekend. Thank you so much for your support.

I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. And go see it for Jimmy Tatro, too. My God. Oh, shit, yeah. I love Jimmy. He plays Young Bert.

Yeah. Fuck yeah. Well, that didn't sound great. Yeah, wow. That was something. Get out of that chair. Oh, man. Bert's a maniac. Yeah, I had no idea

it was to that level. Oh, in the best way. He really does bounce back. It's insane. So we were doing his show, Something's Burning. The Super Bowl is the Saturday of the Super Bowl week. So it was like all week. And the whole Saturday morning we're like, please, please cancel. Please cancel.

And we showed up and he was like, yeah, I was out until 4 and I'm full of energy. It was like, fuck. Yeah, those people always amaze me. That's ideal. It's a superpower. It's a legit superpower. Yeah, I don't have that. All the time. No, it's a superpower. everyone knows one of their friends who has that superpower and it's it's

maddening to watch like when you're on a bachelor party or something they're up ready to go fuck man wish i had this non-hung that's insane yeah i can do it for like a two-day spent like if i go to a festival or something, maybe not anymore. But any more than like two or three days, I'm done for like a month. Yeah. The worst part about the hangover for me is it's not even being hungover, it's being tired. Yes. I can't. That's what I was saying with the IV.

I remember I got an IV and it was like. After drinking, I could sleep for like 48 hours straight. Yeah. Okay. A little reset. High Noon. Can we fix the camera? Yeah, we're going to have to.

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No. Steve? Steven? You ready? Why is he acting like he's never been on the show before? What is that? No, I was cutting something. I didn't hear what you guys were saying.

Did you eat the Mad Honey? No, actually. So I want to do it. I got to do it early one morning. I have a thing this morning. So as soon as I get it, I want to do it. Oh, because it takes a while? Yeah.

I can't do it next week because my wife's going out of the country. Just do it and don't tell us the day you do it. That would be funnier. Who has it? Donnie. Donnie does or Chef Donnie? Donnie does, right? Donnie does.

Okay. Yeah, don't tell us. Wait, he has the shitty kind. No, no, no. He has it. He did too much of it. Steven, what drugs have you done? Weed a couple times.

That's it. Any pills? Bad boy. No. No pills. No. I took Adderall once for studying purposes. For studying purposes.

College? Yeah. I'm surprised you don't do it now with all the data. I don't know why I took thatderall once for studying purposes. For studying purposes. College? I'm surprised you don't do it now. I don't know why I took that the wrong way. He was studying the effects of Adderall. You should get back into it. It'll be fun. Why is this show all about trying to get people to do drugs? I think I want to start.

His selling point, his marketing campaign for steroids was insane. I think he skipped over a page or two in the syllabus of the cons. Yeah, I think your heart explodes. Well, but he's doing TRT, which like gets described by doctors. I think it's, what is the other one? The HGH? That's the one where your heart explodes, right? That's what Larry King did, though, I thought.

TRT? Yeah. What was Liver King doing there? Yeah, he died, but he's... Liver King was doing everything. Oh, no, Larry King. He's dead? Larry King's dead, yeah. He died like last year. Fuck, I missed that. He, he died, but he's, Liver King was doing everything. Oh, no, Larry King. He's dead? Larry King's dead, yeah.

He died like last year. Fuck, I missed that. He had a good run. Wasn't that because he was like a thousand years old? He was old as fuck. Like 20-wise.

Larry King had a better run than Liver King. Yeah. Seinfeld, Larry King clip. So funny. The best. I don't know, what's that?

He like, he basically implied that Seinfeld got canceled. Yeah. And Jerry Seinfeld got very upset. He's like, it was the most successful show of all time. My shows don't get canceled.

Oh, the show got canceled. Not Jerry. Who's the most famous alive person that wears suspenders regularly now? What a question. What a question. That's a real thinker. John Goodman? Does Steve Harvey?

I bet Steve Harvey does. I guarantee you John Goodman does. It's not part of Steve Harvey's brand, though, because he wears the suits over his head. Oh, you gotta be very fast. Suspenders are a necessary thing. Kramer guy do it? Jim Kramer? Blippy. Oh, yeah, Blippy does. Fuck. Why?

Larry King was a suspenders guy, right? Yeah. I guarantee you John Goodman wears suspenders. I don't think John Goodman wears suspenders. If you get fat enough, you have to wear suspenders. He did in No Brother Where Art Thou. I don't think it stuck. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

Yeah, Big Dan Teague. Yeah. Oh, Urkel. Yeah. I think Kate had a 20-minute discussion about Urkel the other day. He did. He's kind of hot now. He was always hot.

Yeah, Stefan Urkel. Always hot. That's what they do with every nerd, though. And it worked. Psychologically, we fell for it. Except Dustin Diamond. He was a nerd. Yeah.

Rest in peace. I think he kind of stayed a nerd, which was brutal. He's dead too? Yeah, he died. I forgot about that. Yeah, he died like 10 years ago. Damn it. I've got to freshen up on who died.

Most people are dead, remember? Yeah. Bob Barker's still with us, right? Barely. Barely? He's got to be. He's like 99. Do people not know?

I don't know. I'm not positive. Bob Barker's with us. I would know if Bob Barker died. Has Richard Simmons ever come out of his house? No. He's like being out of his house? No. He's like being held hostage, right? Yeah.

He's holding himself hostage. No, no. His housekeeper has taken over his estate and controls his mind and no one sees him. He's got to be 80, right? He's only been seen once in the last five years. There's a whole podcast about it. I didn't know that. They just saw Jack Nicholson for the first time in two years, which I thought was insane.

I forgot about that guy. He looked pretty bad. He's also fucking old. He's like 83 or something. Robert De Niro just had a kid. Yeah. What? Selfish shit in the world.

His seventh child. He had a kid? Yeah. I actually found out a fact about Robert De Niro that I didn't realize yesterday. He had a kid? That's insane. I didn't know Bronx Tale was about his life as a child. Oh, really?

Yeah. I think most of his children, maybe all of them, are black. Damn. Bronx Tale's good. Robert De Niro's children? Yes. Then people were like, Bronx Tale was about him. I was like, oh, that actually makes sense because that's the storyline of the kid.

Cool. Yeah. And then didn't that kid- Bronx Tale's a great movie. That kid from the movie tried to murder a cop, I think. Yes. He was Matthew Bevilacqua in Sopranos. Yeah.

Yes. I don't like mob movies, though. What? Mob movies? I don't really like them. Speaking of, do you know what today is? Mob. Mob? Yeah, I don't like mob movies. though. What? I don't really like them. Speaking of, do you know what today is? Mob? I don't like mob movies.

Why? I just don't really get into them. They're the best movies. I watched The Godfather. It was fine. I watched Goodfellas. It was fine. I just don't have a love for them.

Today's the day on Goodfellas when he's getting followed by the helicopter. He's like May 11th when he's in the car getting followed with all the cocaine in his car. I'm supposed to like mob movies? May 11th? And they're the car getting followed by the with all the cocaine in his car and they're great okay follow Twitter account that just tweets out a one second of goodfellas it's second by second they just restart

it so just screen grabs of every second I've seen some other ones like yeah yeah it's also the one that's um it's like today in World War two they started they just start World War two and then they started over yeah oh that's that's cool that's like today in World War II. They just start World War II and then they start it over. Yeah.

Oh, that's sick. Oh, that's cool. That's good. Oh, dumb. World War I has to be pissed about World War II. Oh, yeah, totally cucked. Because they were saying the war to end all wars. They thought they were it.

It was a crazy war, too. Right. It was a doozy. Yeah. I don't really know much about World War I. I don't know shit. Like the trench warfare. That's when Franz Ferdinand got capped and then everything fell apart from there.

They basically just stood in a fucking, like they just stood in trenches just dying. There was a lot of poison gas. Four years. It was like Germany cut it out and they were like, fine, we're done. Done for good. World War I, the one where there was one of those little mini wars during the war. It was something happening somewhere

and it was Christmas and they all stopped fighting. Yeah, they played soccer. Armistice? Is that during World War I? Yes. They all got out of the trenches on Christmas Eve. And drank and sang Christmas carols together. And then the next day they just got back in their trenches and killed each other?

No. Why don't we keep drinking with the boys? and then the next day they just got back in their trenches and killed each other? Why don't we keep drinking with the boys? I was going to say not taking a break. Just kill everyone? People would put their fingers up above the trenches hoping that they would get shot in the fingers so they could go home. That seemed like it would be a fun time. Isn't there also a fact that like There's one battle

That had like Hemingway Hitler And someone else Like Fuck I gotta look it up Larry King It's wild

Larry King Bob Barker What was the fact And Robert De Niro Hemingway Hitler Life was so bad back then. Probably a Coca-Cola felt drinking a soda

felt like the best thing ever. Damn good. Maybe it wasn't. I gotta figure it out. They used to put cigarettes in the MREs. It's like, here's a little treat in case you die. Cigarettes too. It's like, here's a little treat in case you die. Oh, yeah. Cigarettes, too.

War's fucking hell. It's not so bad now. They got pizza huts out there and stuff. Yeah. I want to go to the pizza hut across from the pyramids. Is there really one? It's right across the street from the pyramids. Oh, dang.

Probably the best way to view it. I guess it sticks. I think Kuwait is addicted to American fast food, and they're very obese over there. Really? Really. Where's our gift cards, TJ? Oh, I got mine. I gave mine to Rota.

I have them in here. Okay, I want mine. I put it on your desk. Did you? Yep. Never tastes so bad than when you earned it through Book It. Maybe not. I don't know.

I have some. I'm going to send it to my mom for Mother's Day. All right. I'm going to give her something I bought. What'd you buy? What'd I get your mom? Yeah. Her Birkenstocks.

No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Clogs. That's perfect for gardening, and she's an outdoor lady. She is. Wow. She's always wanted a pair. She has never owned a pair of Birkenstocks in her life. Perfect. She's always wanted a pair. She has never owned a pair of Birkenstocks in her life.

Perfect. She's always wanted a pair. She's always wanted one. That's why it makes it a gift. My mother has never wanted a pair of Birkenstocks. I know. She's never wanted it. She has never wanted it.

They're easy gas station shoes. She doesn't want them. Yes, she does. I would not take them. She probably isn't familiar with them. She wouldn't wear them. She's familiar with them. That's what I said about Uggs until the first time I slipped one on my foot, and then I

said, oh. My mom would laugh at people wearing Birkenstocks. She would not. You think your mom knows who Squidward is? My mom loves SpongeBob. Clemmer didn't. Clemmer was like, he acted like that was the most normal thing in the world that he didn't know anything about SpongeBob.

It was my mom's favorite show for a while. Because he's too old. That probably has to be one of the most famous characters of all time. How old is he? Because he's 44. He says people in their be one of the most famous characters of all time. How old is he? Because he's 44. He says people in their 40s don't know Spongebob. They didn't grow up wide.

I was like, yeah, they do. It's that popular of a show. Yes, absolutely. Give me a number. Most famous characters of all time, what? You think it's the top 100 character of all time?

Squidward? Any character in Spongebob. Squidward? They're not that famous. TV character including real people? Spongebob, but Squidward is not, huh? Squidward is including real people? But Squidward is not.

Squidward is including real people? Yeah. 80. Top 80. Globally. I think SpongeBob is probably top five. No. Yes.

I think SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs are probably all in the top 100. No chance Mr. Krabs is in the top 100 of most recognizable TV characters. Maybe not Mr. Krabs. Maybe not Mr. Krabs. But Mr. Krabs. We miss definitely Mr. Krabs. I mean, SpongeBob's been on for like 23 years. Yeah, but we missed SpongeBob. I didn't miss SpongeBob.

Yeah, you did. I was in SpongeBob. You don't know it, Dan. You were watching SpongeBob? It came out when I was like 19, and my mom, who had a kid at the time, my sister, would always have it on, and I'd watch it. It's really good. Yeah, it's funny.

Patrick Starr. I miss Spongebob. I was in college. I would watch it. Patrick Starr, easy sellout. Sandy Cheeks, my pick. Yeah, Plankton. What?

Plankton right now? Plankton's computer wife could sell at MSG. Blue Theater. She could do a residency at MSG. For a blue theater. She could do a residency at MSG. I think y'all are too high. Gary couldn't. Gary couldn't. No, but he'd be exciting still to have around.

I think he's more well-known than Bugs Bunny. SpongeBob? He's not. I think so. He's not. Currently, yeah. Living people, yes. I don't know.

100%. When you say living people, I mean, most people are old. I think Bugs Bunny might be the number one. Take it back. I'd say Mickey Mouse. Yeah, Bugs Bunny's more popular. Mickey Mouse. Hey, why would you trust him?

Mickey Mouse, yeah. Mickey Mouse is easily one of them. I'd say Bugs Bunny has a SpongeBob, though. No problem. Mickey Mouse, Bart Simpson. Oh, Bart's up there, but not as big as you'd think. I think Mickey Mouse is past Bart Simpson by a fucking mile. But Mickey Mouse is less TV and more movies.

Mickey Mouse is number one. Mickey Mouse, yeah. Yeah, fair. Tom and Jerry, that's fair. Okay. Whatever. We stop right there. Tom and Jerry's not there.

Look at that. Right behind him. He's coming up. Wow. Where's Bart? Where's Bart? In ten years, he'll be Homer. Wow.

Homer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this actually is a very good list. His last name was Rogers? Usually, I disagree with lists like this. This is damn good. He could choose way bigger than Daffy Duck.

Roadrunner's second? Come on. Hey. No. No. Hey, Boop, come on now. It's because she's fucking silly. Be silly.

Hop high. Where's Bart? No, that's too high. That's too high. That's probably fair. Our field should be higher. Our field's higher. Where's Patrick Star? Our FUD shouldn't be that high. No, definitely. I high. That's probably fair. Arfield should be higher. Arfield's higher. Where's Patrick Starr?

Arfudd shouldn't be that high. No, definitely. I don't even know him. A lot of Looney Tunes bias. Not really bias. They're huge. Johnny, no. Johnny Bravo, Casper.

Casper, no way. Winnie the Pooh's way higher. Winnie the Pooh's way higher than that. Dora's higher, too. Peppa's probably should be higher. Peppa had a big comeback. Stewie's way higher. Stewie would sell out MSG.

Stewie would beat Harry Styles record. Man. Am I way off on Bart? I think Bart was the most famous Simpson then Homer overtook him. No, because then also

you got to think about all these anime characters. These people are bigger than a lot bigger than we do. I don't know who that one was. He's from One Piece. No.

Or the Cowardly Dog. Hummin' a Hummin' a. The only lady. I didn't know who that one was. He's from One Piece. No. Or the Cowardly Dog. Humana, Humana. The only lady. She didn't come around until Lola. Who the hell's that, Owens? The fuck was it?

Grinch is pretty big. But probably... Oh, Captain Planet was not big. People laughed at Captain Planet. Who's that? He's pretty rich.

No, the one above it. Is it Astro Boy? Yeah. Can we get a look at a different list? I just want to see TV characters in general because it Astro Boy? All right. Can we get a look at a different list? I just want to see TV characters in general, because it's still Mickey 1-1. I bet you five of the top ten are cartoons. It's definitely Mickey.

It's longevity. I have an issue with just calling Mickey a TV character. I think his roots are in movies. Shit, you're right. Silent films, brother. Steamboat Willie. Or is it Steamboat Mickey? I used to love that video game

where it starts out with Steamboat Willie or whatever. Sega. Yeah, I know that one. Yeah, that's a very good one. No, I don't. Probably. Was it Fantasia? No.

World of Illusion? I don't remember. That's what it was. One of those. It was an arcade cabinet. That's when I played it. The thing with Snoopy and... Was Snoopy not on this?

Yeah, no. Snoopy was not. Oh, I didn't see him on the first one. He wasn't on the first one. Oversight. Major. Snoopy over SpongeBob is ridiculous, though. Yeah, that's insane.

SpongeBob is... Homer, Fred Pointstone. Yeah, it's a murderer's row. Yeah, there's a lot of guys. Winnie the Pooh should be higher up. Daffy over Donald Duck is interesting. They're both big. I don't think Garfield should be as high as he is.

Really? It's more of a comic to me. Garfield without Garfield is a great comic. Yeah, it is. Garfield minus Garfield. Oh, okay. Sorry, Brandon. Okay, but just get it right. We're going to give him credit. Let's call it comic. Yeah, it is. Garfield minus Garfield. Oh, okay. Sorry, Brandon. Okay, but just get it right.

We're going to give him credit. Let's call it. People might Google it. Don't get bit by another tick. It took me down, man. How bad? It sucks. Extreme fatigue.

I slept until 3 o'clock yesterday. Damn. I slept from 10 p.m. to 3 o'clock, and I felt awful. Do you think he thought your penis was his albino brother oh i crawled up your pant leg saw your little penis no nick because he only got halfway up my leg he didn't even get to my penis he never even saw my penis i did yard work and my house backs up to my yard backs up to woods so i was back weed eating among the wood line and that's where i assume i stumbled under some ticks in shorts no i was in i yeah probably in shorts i just saw a person who put

like reverse tape on the bottom of their pants and went walking through a field and it was like hundreds of ticks oh that was last summer i pulled yeah i saw one on my son and i was like oh i should probably check his whole body i pulled like like eight off of him. Really? He used to get them all the time as a kid. I didn't know they were an issue up here. I mean, down south, obviously. No, there's a theory that I think Lyme disease was invented in a lab in like Connecticut. What?

I didn't know that. Wait, wait. Lyme is a city in Connecticut. Whoa. It's a disease that was invented in a lab, and they didn't realize how far deer can swim and stuff, so it spread from there. Pretty sure lime is like the original COVID. Deer can swim forever. Forever.

Really? Yeah. Swim across big-ass bays. That's crazy. They're not built for it. She's attractive. Yeah. I had lime disease.

I don't know, but she was attractive. She went past. That's not a Glennie Balls gal. Are you sure? She went into studio, too. Oh, I thought he was in one. No, she's Glennie Balls. Cut to two.

That's perfect. She got lucky. Yeah. That episode's going to go fucking insane. She probably had no idea Burt was going to be there. Topless Burt. You want to do the HelloFresh ad read, Brandon? Oh, I get to do an ad read?

Yeah, you can do an ad read. That's sweet. I don't have to blow it. I enjoy HelloFresh. It's delicious. Y'all like delicious food? Of course you do. You like waiting in line at the grocery store?

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Great ad read, Brandon. A lot of companies would love to have an ad reader like that with that kind of consistency. Is Sass nervous about Dave Cummings? He's getting nervous, yeah. He's been nervous. No, he didn't care. It's like when you do a class presentation and you're at the end of the alphabet, right? Right.

It's like, okay, look at these guys doing it. But then it gets to the S's. Yeah. And you're like, oh, shit, I'm next. Yeah, like, fuck. I think he's not, but I think everyone's making him feel like he should be. Yeah. And that's getting in his crawl. Yeah, like, fuck. I think he's not, but I think everyone's making him feel like he should be. Yeah. And that's getting in his crawl.

Yeah. Good point. What? I was just talking about you. Oh, really? Yeah. The camera following me. What were you guys saying?

You're nervous. You're nervous. I think you're just regular nervous. You're not, like, neurotic. No. No, I mean, I guess I, did I lose? Did I lose the argument?

No. Or it seemed pretty confident? No, I don't think so. I lose the argument? No Or it seemed pretty confident No, I don't think so I think it's a We have to actually Like, he has to do it I don't really have It's a perfect argument

Because you can't decide It's a hypothetical And I said I don't think he could Yeah, that's it That's that Is Chris DiStefano doing the garden? No, he's doing Radio City And I think he's doing

The Hulu Theater at the garden Got it Alright, so not as big Radio City's huge How big is that? Iulu Theater at the Garden. Got it. Alright, so not as big. Radio City's huge. How big is that? I want to say it's like 6,000 people. I saw Cosby there. I saw Cosby once too.

You're like the world's biggest Cosby fan. Yeah, that was two months ago. People don't know that about you. If he's touring, would you wear one of those disguise glasses? No, I would not wear a disguise. You would just go? I would go.

You wouldn't actually want to see him now, would you? Dude, he would suck. Just to say you did, for that reason, that's the only reason. More than one way. He's very funny. You think he's still funny? I would assume, I don't think funny ages out of you. Would it suck?

Yeah. No, but funny evolves. I think he's probably still funny. He's never going to tour again. Do you think he still jokes around a lot? He was touring. No, he is touring. What?

He's touring? Robert De Niro had a kid. Yes. You should follow a tour like it's a Grateful Dead tour. Yeah. That would be sick. I hope the set's good tonight. Get a rape van and follow Cosby's tour around.

You're going to buy tickets. I'm not going to buy tickets right now, but I am going to look up where the tour happens. I wonder how much the VIPs cost. It's probably free. Yeah, it's got to be. They pay you to do VIP? Yeah. The more expensive tickets are further away from the stage.

I think that was just a rumor. I don't think he's actually doing it. The nosebleeds are $2,000. He planned to return to, he's 85. He planned to return to touring, but he hasn't actually announced it. You mourn his death? Publicly?

You can't mourn his death publicly. Don't be hollering at me, okay? I didn't know his son was murdered. Ennis was murdered. Would you mourn his death publicly? No. You wouldn't mourn his death? But you can't deny his legacy.

Man had an incredible legacy. Say what you want. Would you do like a say what you want about Bill Cosby, but man was he funny. I would keep it quiet. Keep all the bad stuff in the say what you'll say. Let me tell you something. That show shaped my life.

When I was watching Creed 3 and Felicia Rashad, spoiler alert, when her character died in Creed 3 and I had to watch her die. You gave us enough time to deny the spoiler. You didn't step up. I said spoiler alert and you didn't stop it. You didn't stop it. Fair enough. Okay.

So when she died in that movie, I watched her die on screen and it tore me up. I, I, is that correct? Sure did. Right. What was your favorite Cosby show moment? The anniversary episodes where they sang the Ray Charles song and the James Brown song or the romance contest. Season six, episode 21, I believe.

Would you freak out if you saw anybody from that show? I would freak out more if I saw a non-Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby, whatever, he's got that thing. But if I saw Felicia Rashad or Malcolm Jamal Warner or Tempest Bledsoe. She died. Huh? No. She died in the movie. None of them are dead.

Well, Justine died, but she died 20 years ago. Was Adam Sandler in the Cosby show? Lisa Bonet's alive. Huh? Was Adam Sandler in the Cosby show for a living? He was. He was Smitty. Wasn't there the actor working at Trader Joe's and everyone like he went viral? Jeffrey Owens, yes.

It's kind of a fucked up story that people... Yeah, people are assholes. But he got acting jobs out of it, I think. Yeah, I think he did. He played Elvin. Elvin Thibodeau. Raven Simone. She's alive.

I wouldn't freak out if I saw her. But Keisha Knight Pulliam? Oh, that would be... It's over. It's over. That would be unbelievable. KB, I like your shirt today. It's making me happy.

It's a barstool shirt. It's making me happy. That's a barstool shirt? It reminds me of Bikini Bottom probably. Ooh. Probably. Never watched the show. You don't know.

Do you know? Nothing. You don't know anything about SpongeBob? Do you know the restaurant where he works? We watched an episode of SpongeBob on the bus

to Atlanta. Very high. Too high. Atlanta got way too high. Yeah. Video producer Rob actually said like, hey, you guys are smoking

so much weed that I'm getting high which can happen but yeah that was the only time I ever watched a full episode start to finish. It's very fucking good I do not deny it it's just there are certain things like Pokemon is another one. I was too old for Pokemon. I was in college

when Spongebob came out and I like enjoyed watching it in college. I think a lot of college kids enjoyed SpongeBob. Yeah. I should go, but maybe my kids will get into SpongeBob. That'd be fun. I threw a button on my shirt, so I'm covering it up with a sheet of paper. Let me see.

I noticed that. Oh, no. It's a great shirt. Yeah. I threw a button. It's a shirt with a guy ripping off his shirt, so it's kind of appropriate. It's fitting. Yeah.

A guy? Oh, every time I- Hulk Hogan. A guy? Okay. Every time I try to do that, so I just have to sit like this or like that. Hulk Hogan's had his share of- Yeah, you should tweet like-

Yeah, he has. Three people you want to go to dinner with. Bill Cosby, Hulk Hogan, OJ Simpson. But I don't want to go to dinner with OJ Simpson. Okay, so who would be your third? Yeah, who would be your problematic dinner? Yeah. The most problematic dinner you actually would want

to go to. Oh, gosh. Who's? I don't know. That's the big two. Who would be your third? What about Vince McMahon? Done. Nate Oates? No, fucking

Michael Quinn, Daniel Larson, Joshua Block. I got nothing. That's a rare TJ. It's a big day for guys like me and TJ. It's a huge day. That's a great TJ. Larson and shirts. We should do a draft of our most problematic dinner.

Yeah. Yeah. We should do that. Hmm. And you kind of have everyone beat, though, with Bill Cosby and Homer. Bill Cosby's a bad one.

Yeah. Bill Cosby's like top dog right behind Harvey Weinstein. Yeah, but you wouldn't want to get dinner with Harvey Weinstein. Who's the most disgraced living person?

Ooh. Some sort of, like, some terrorist. Not in jail? American. Not in jail. Elaine Maxwell. It could be in jail. Yeah, but she's in jail, right? She's in jail? American. Elaine Maxwell. It could be in jail.

Yeah, but she's in jail, right? She's in jail. What about Coney? Oh, Jare from Subway? Oh, Jare from Subway. Jare from Subway, yeah. Jare from Subway, though. That's a great question.

It's probably Fogel. Who is of your lifetime who was the most disgraced person at any moment? Was it Epstein? Had to be OJ. It's OJ. But there was a time. Not over Epstein because people he still had OJ still had fans. Yeah, but OJ was like Epstein got more famous after he died though.

No one was like fuck with this dude. Casey Anthony was a pretty bad one. Yeah. Chronicle of Winsky had a three year run of being the most disgraced person in America. He was never alive when he was disgraced. Not to Epstein's level where he was a pretty bad one. Yeah. Monica Lewinsky had a three-year run of being the most disgraced person in America. He was never alive when he was disgraced. Not to Epstein's level, where he was not a single person. But again, I think a lot of his is post-death.

Osama bin Laden. No, I don't think it was post-death as much as it was when people found out what was going on. Yeah, I mean, Osama, yeah. But can you be disgraced if you're doing this shit intentionally? I don't think he cared that he was disgraced.

Right. Epstein? No, bin Laden. Oh, bin Laden, yeah. Oh, no, he loved it. He was stoked. He loved it that he was disgraced. Right. Epstein? No, Bin Laden. Oh, Bin Laden, yeah. Oh, no, he loved it. He was stoked. That doesn't count. That was the goal.

Almost made me respect him. You can't deny his impact. His literal impact. Stephen Chay would say with Osama Bin Laden, you don't have haters if you don't have fans. He would. Yeah. No, I mean, he was probably a fucking hero in Afghanistan. You don't have haters if you don't have fans. He would. Technically, that applies to everyone.

He was probably a fucking hero in Afghanistan. He didn't have to pay for a single beer in Afghanistan. Oh, God, no. Jots on me! Sir, your dinner's been paid for. What was the piece of American media that he liked?

He was hiding out. Did he watch something or played a video? Like Popeye or some shit. It was something weird. What was it? Was it Baywatch? Oh, did he love Baywatch? It was something.

Steve Shaxley. Get it? Yeah. What was it? Who's your guys' favorite Baywatch lifeguard? I don't know. I never got into that. Yasmeen Bleef? She was good, too, though. She was good. Oh,'t know. I never got into that. There's Pamela Anderson. Yasmeen Bleef.

She was good too, though. She was good. Oh, and Elektra. The one that played Summer. I don't remember what her name was. Oh, fuck. Nicole Eggert, maybe? Yes.

She was so hot. NFL quarterback that had a cameo in Baywatch. It was really funny. Mike Piazza had a cameo in Baywatch. Oh, it was Mike Piazza. Trent Dilfer. He's swinging the baseball bat on the beach. And then they save a girl from drowning.

She walks off, and then he grabs her around the arm, and they just go off and fuck. Everybody knows after a serious trauma, you need some dick. It was awesome. That had to be the best show ever to work on, because you didn't have to be able to act at all. You had to hang out on the beach all day, and you got your hair and makeup done, and you just got to like. It was porn without porn. It was porn without porn. All you had to do every now and then was dive off a boat into the

water. But even that like. That's awesome. They didn't even. I feel like they did a terrible job with like the action shots. Speaking of which Fasoli's last day in the office. Oh. Yeah he's just moving. Yeah. Just getting up. Fucking early. Yeah. So. That's how amped up he is. Yeah. He's gonna

help build the office. Yeah. You guys need amped up he is. Yeah. He's going to help build the office. Yeah. Yeah. You guys need help? Some electrical work? I would argue Baywatch has a top five TV theme song. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

Man in the darkness. Excellent. Afraid to, yeah. I don't know if it's top five, but it's really good. It's really good. I've been watching, oh, oh sorry but 7th Heaven recaps what an absurd show that was that guy's so funny

is your TikTok out there yeah it's hilarious Jesus Christ those are the funniest recaps and like as a kid I remember watching it

and now I'm like what the fuck was I watching the brother was going to prom he didn't have a date and both his sisters were hoping he'd ask them

I was in there yeah they thought this girl was bulimic but secretly she was hoarding food from people because her parents a date and both his sisters were hoping he'd ask them. I was in there. They thought this girl was bulimic, but secretly she was hoarding food from people because her parents... It's like... There were so many... Where she admits to smoking pot and the religious dad is like... You know who was on Baywatch?

She took a cup from a restaurant. John Gonzalez was on Baywatch. John Gonzalez who wrestled at WrestleMania 9 and SummerSlam 93. Open up your, flip your phone around. No. You didn't send me,

you didn't send me that. Uh-huh. You didn't. Oh, fuck, message failed. I accidentally sent it to your mom. God damn it, Nick. Oh, so intense. It was the picture of James Gandolfini in SpongeBob

was saved on Bin Laden's computer. Oh, my God. You've gone full circle. Oh, man. That's the best photo of all time. That's so funny. James Gandolfini's just grabbing SpongeBob's nose. Yeah.

Yeah, that's... Is that true? I don't know. The picture? No, no, it was on Obama's hard drive. That's crazy. Can we Google the top 10 weirdest things on Bin Laden's hard drive? There's got to be a lot.

It's got to be tough to narrow down. There was like porn and stuff on there. You have porn on there? Yeah. It's like Kim Jong-un is obsessed with 90s basketball. He's got one of the biggest movie collections in the entire world. Yeah. It's one of the most impressive, they say.

I saw the other day in the 90s, Kim Jong-un and what was his dad's name? Il. Il. They faked passports and went to Disney World. Yeah. It's crazy. Like in disguise? Yeah, they faked passports as Brazilians and they went to Disney World. I think he got killed by his brother.

Who? One of the unns. He got killed by a poison dart. Yeah, in the airport. I thought it was Kim Jong-un. It was one of his cousins. It was the woman who went up and just spit poison in his face.

Who was the one that had the fucking tumor on the back of his head that was the size of a bowling ball? I saw that. Two heads. I thought it was one of the Jong-uns. Yeah. Oh, shit. They used to kidnap their favorite movie stars from other countries. Horse underscore dance.

Charlie bit my finger. Is this Ben Lawton? Yeah. Jackie Chan, Tom and Jerry. Good taste. Yeah. That's great Final Fantasy game. Just the idea of Ben Lawton watching Charlie bit my finger.

Ants. So playing. Wait, he's playing like Half-Life? He loved American culture. Sounds like a bro. Fucked up. Sounds cool as hell. It does.

We have to pause Final Fantasy when Danny Glover's character dies in ants. Spoiler. Yeah. We get back to it. I'm popping corn. He might make my dinner. In line? Yeah.

We said living, though. Oh, the dinner. Okay. Yeah. So is this going to happen, you think? Are we doing this? I texted him. He's at a lunch.

He said, headed back now. He's going to be now. It's gonna be full. I really don't know what I'm gonna say. Why don't we, Nick, you wanna do the last ad? Why don't we spin the wheel, too? Oh, yeah.

Oh, Ruff and Rowdy, I'll do it. Ruff and Rowdy, tomorrow night, tomorrow night, Ruff and Rowdy, live from West Virginia. Ruff and Rowdy 21 invades West Virginia Friday night, May 12th at 8 p.m eastern 20 fights no headgear includes a loser retires main event between shizat to rizat and backflip ninja vicky defeat d defends her lightweight belt plus a number one contender matchup for hot wheels dwarf brawls are back and 400-pound fighters, which are always electric. It's going to be chaos in and outside the ring.

Join me, Dave, Robbie Fox on the call for Ruffin Rowdy 21 Friday, May 12th at 8 p.m. Eastern. See all the action by ordering now at buyrnr.com. That's buyrnr.com. We're flying out tomorrow. I'm so excited. Nothing better than Ruffin Rowdy. Nice little extra screen. If you got some, you know, playoff basketball or hockey going,

get the Ruffin Rowdy up on your computer. It's going to be chaos. 400-pound fights are like. Yeah. Because the whole time I'm like, these guys are going to fall out of the ring on top of us. And you'd die. Yeah, maybe that would happen.

I think I'd get up fast enough. Usually Dave sits in the middle, so I think I would be able to get up. 400 pounders, though. I'd push the chair closer to him. It is going to take them a while to fall, but once they get going, it's going to happen fast. I'd say, too, as someone who doesn't get to go out anymore, especially now, but before I was pregnant again, Pat and I would make it like a stay-and-date night, and I'd get my favorite booze, and I'd order my favorite food, crack open some Nooners, and we really got after it on Rough and Rowdy

nights. It was good. Rough and Rowdy's going to be awesome. I think Frank is already there. Yeah. Is he? We missed an all-time Frank meltdown today. Why?

Because Jersey Transit was a fucking disaster this morning. Yes, it was. I had to go. I got here at 1158. I left my house at 930. It took me two and a half hours to get here. There were no trains coming. So Frank would have been stuck on that platform

and would have been yelling at somebody. And then the Mets played at 1230, and we're down 2-0 in the first. So we narrowly avoided a Frank tornado today. It would have been something. I don't know what the Met score is now. Want to spin the wheel? Spin the motherfucking wheel. How about those Sixers?

I feel so bad. Not bad for Roan that he's in the middle of nowhere in Colorado. Yeah. At least they can't get eliminated while he's gone. He'll be back. That's true. Oh, we should take Mad Honey off, by the way. All right, name your. And take Mad Honey off, by the way. All right, name your.

And take name your off, yeah. Is that another thing in the pile? Oh, and the Knicks won last night, too. Yeah. Jenks and Stu Feiner. Didn't have to attack Julius Randle. Yeah. Huge.

Hasselhoff had a hell of a career. Julius Randle did not have 25 and 10. But they won. He was trying hard. Huge. Hasselhoff had a hell of a career. Julius Randle did not have 25 and 10. But they won. He was trying hard. Elizabeth. Didn't Hasselhoff get weird too? Yeah. Didn't Hasselhoff get weird too?

Well, he had the burgers circled around. I'm thinking of Mel Gibson. I'm thinking of him too. Yeah, yeah, that was a. Isn't it always TJ? Hasselhoff had the burger video though. Yeah, that's right. What's the burger video?

It was like his daughter filmed him like hammered eating a hamburger. Never seen the burger video? No. Oh, yeah. It's a bad scene for Hasselhoff. Oh. Eating a wet burger. Just drunk eating a wet burger.

On the ground. Your internet IQ is second to none. I've been on it for a long time. No, every video everybody's ever done. Yeah, it's been a long time. All this stupid shit that I don't need. Oh no, milk revenge. You had some things to this?

Go ahead. Is that like the old show? Let's just go. You don't want to buy him a $1,000 video? Yeah, you can. It's your wheel. Also, I'm pretty sure Dan just said he was going to buy it yesterday anyway. I did, but now we'll see. I put it on your wheel. Also, I'm pretty sure Dan just said he was going to buy it yesterday anyway.

I did, but now we'll see. I put it on the wheel. Maybe like a sass gets to go home early. That's not a bad one. Sliver, yeah. It's not going to be bad. I didn't think it was going to be bad until I came here and everyone was like, you're fucked. I was like walking down the hallway.

You're not fucked. Smitty was like, good luck fucked. I was like walking down the hallway. You said that. You're not fucked. Smitty was like... Good luck, man. That's great. Oh. Let's go. That was a video game. Holy shit, he's getting his SSS.

We all have to pitch in? I will. Okay, nobody. You got to buy it? We all have to pitch in? I will. Okay, nobody. No, you got to spin it, right? Wait, for one of us to buy it? Yeah, I'll do half. The other person has to give TJ 500 bucks. And if it's me, I'll just do the whole thousand.

All right. Is this Eliminator or is this Your choice One spin Fuck $500 spin Oh no Oh gosh

They've been worse things, trust me. The wheel has rewarded you with money before anyway, right? No. Not that I can recall. Absolutely did. The wheel gave him a merch bonus one time. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. What's your Venmo, TJ? TJ Hitchings. You know, you could buy 20 video games for $1,000 instead of just this one. Yeah, they're not VGA graded, though.

What's Larson's cash app, TJ? I actually don't know that. His tours are $50. I have a quick question. Something big don't know that. His tours are $50. I have a quick question. Larson's going on the World of T-shirts. Something big happened yesterday with that.

Oh yeah, they finally met up and they were very awkward. This was a blood feud. This is Hatfield McCoy. This is Sunni Shiite. Larson ran circles around him intellectually.

Sunni and Shiite. I did not understand what you guys were talking about. Yeah, it's a lot to explain. I saw a lot of people talking about that. Larson is homeless. Okay. Which isn't funny, but they are meeting.

Shake hands, guys. So Larson does tours down in Fidei at the World Trade Center. That's the dollar's tour. Josh does village tours. Josh just went to the bathroom. Yeah, he's nervous. So they finally made peace yes because well now they're josh is jealous that uh quinn is or uh larson is doing tours as well charging ten dollars even though he isn't it's a fake yeah he lied can you pull up that uh larson's kind of rubbing it into josh and josh is Oh, your tours are 40, mine are 50. Yeah, Larson can riff.

Yeah, Josh can. Josh can't riff. He said he sleeps at the Fulton, and he meant the Fulton subway station. But it sounded like a hotel. A hotel, yeah. That sucks. I would give him some cash. It's a nice station.

I'll sleepwalking during my tours. Yeah. Now that we're all straight there. For $50. Yeah. My tours are $50. They are? Yep.

Yours are $40. I'm $50. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's a battle. Don't forget that. It's no bill, guys. Take it right down to the ATM. But they met. They met.

They hated each other. If you are going to charge $40, you might as well charge $50. Yeah, you're right. Did you see his Google reviews? Took him down. Yeah, his Google reviews are down. He's like 1.5. Yeah.

Hey, Sass. Did you just keep going to the bathroom? Yeah, I drank a ton of water. I'm nervous. No, I'm very nervous. Extremely nervous. Are you getting into a Twitter argument right now? No, I'm not.

Yeah, you are. I saw a face you made, and then you hit the reply button. I'm in college football Twitter right now. Oh, geez. What's going on? I just tweeted something today, and I you hit the reply button. I'm in college football Twitter right now. Oh, geez, what's going on? I just tweeted something today, and I'm just looking to see. Yeah, what was the thing that you tweeted? Big Game Boomer tweeted out his top 50 wide receivers entering the 2023 season,

and I saw Ladd McConkie at 26 from Georgia, and I thought Ladd McConkie was being disrespected. I think he's better than 26, so I said, you know, who gets disrespected? Ladd McConkie. And people are, Georgia fans are saying, oh, wow, you have a nice thing to say about georgia so i'm mad at them for being bitches and i'm mad at the other people for saying that i'm wrong yeah that's just a day in the life of brendan walker i like when he ranks like you guys like the personalities yeah yeah and everybody

gets real heated guys and everyone all 100 of the people care. He's a big game boomer. Yeah. You could just put out your own rankings. I do. Oh, okay. I like to get mad at him. I didn't get mad at him. I just said, hey, Lattin McConkie should be higher than 26. You're pretty high on those rankings.

Or when he ranks the biggest personality from each school. I was number four last year on college football media. I think you're the Wisconsin guy on his list. Didn't you have beef with him? Oh, we had beef. We squashed it. We got had beef. We squashed it. We got into DMs and squashed it. He got mad at me

one time, so he started putting Starkville and Mississippi State last on every list. You can just do that. It probably made you more mad. It made me so mad. It's a new ranking. Just do whatever you want. Can we get Kyle Bauer as the Kentent state guy on

your list next time yeah i think last time they didn't even have one yeah damn yeah yeah but i was number four all college football media god damn who's one two three i think it was uh there we go um travis there it is rg3 mcaf Pate, which I'm better than Pate. Oh, look, I'm there. Yeah. Pretty high. It'd be nice to be just like one more up, just be the top 10. Yeah. You're top 11.

The Corsos. Oh, SpongeBob's on there. Yeah. Should be. Where did he go to school? Boating school with Mrs. Puff. What was it? Boating school with Mrs. Puff. What was it? Boating school with Mrs. Puff.

Oh, okay. Or Drexel. I thought he went to Drexel. Yeah, SpongeBob SquarePants went to Drexel for three years and transferred to Bucknell to get more playing time. The funniest SpongeBob thing was when you guys did the 24-hour PMT stream and then you did the live script reading of it at the very end. Oh, yeah. And you just didn't know what any of the characters sounded like

or were supposed to talk like. I did the pizza episode. Nick was on that, right? Yeah, I was. Yeah, Nick got conned. Yeah, that's still one of the all-time. You just showed up and then stayed for- I lived nearby, and he was just like,

Hey, can you run us popcorn? He was like, oh, so you have to stay. For the next 12 hours. I was up for 24 hours for that just watching the chat. Oddly. Good time. It was a great time. I got the Buster Posey card.

That was amazing. He just ran a marathon on a treadmill. He did. Oh, he did? 26? Oh, I was eating the hot dogs. I ate 24 hot treadmill. He did. Oh, he did? 26? No, I was eating the hot dogs. I ate 24 hot dogs. Was he drinking beers? Was he drinking beers?

He had 24 beers. I had 24 hot dogs. You were having, you did a hot dog and like a milkshake or a frog? Yeah, because I was trying to like cut the sodium with something else. Not really bad at the end. Felt so shitty. Yeah. So, so shitty.

Yeah, COVID. felt so shitty yeah so so shitty yeah covet do you think he's gonna get here now we think and i just want to bring this up because we're making fun of him being nervous do you think dave is scared he hasn't it is the king of new york ass is here well also are you a little bit? No, I'm used to it. I know that within 10 minutes, they'll squash whatever, and then he'll look at me, and that's fine. Okay. I can handle it, but whatever. I just don't really know what I'm supposed to do. Am I supposed to apologize?

This fight. Is that what it's going to come down to? No. Clash? No. It's going to have to come to fisticuffs. I don't really get in confrontations a lot. You got this. I'm not going to be screaming. No. He's not either. I'm not going to have to come to fisticuffs. I don't really get in confrontations a lot. You got this.

I'm not going to be screaming. No, he's not either. I'm not going to start yelling. Shut the fuck up. Not going to do that. What? Or hit him up being like, say he's not your boss anymore. Definitely not going to do that.

It really works here. Definitely not going to do that. It would be funny, though. No. If you're like Yeah I guess I guess you're right Dave You could sell it on MSG

If Jay Snowden would allow it You know how you say that It's gonna be fine It's a great day at work It's a regular Thursday You got any sets this week? I had two last night Where are you going this weekend?

Anywhere? I'll be in West Virginia tomorrow Hell yes At the Dayton Casino Charlestown Charlestown Oh, sorry Not ton

Town Charlestown Charlestown is a decent area Yeah, it's D.C. Ish, right? Isn't it? Yeah An hour

I might try and one night it I might try and get out there tomorrow and come back same night. How are you going to do that? You could go see Harper's Ferry. You could see Harper's Ferry. I might just rent a car. Tubing down there. You could see the Mothman.

It shows early. It shows at like 7.30. What's Harper's Ferry famous for? Back by one. Mothman. That's pretty pleasant. Harper's Ferry is like some war shit. But it's a very pretty mountain town.

I thought you said Muffman. Muffman lives on Mulberry Street. He wrote To Kill a Muffin. Harper's Ferry. Wait, is it Lane? Mulberry Lane? Mulberry Lane. Drury Lane.

Drury Lane. What the fuck? Mulberry was, I miss a mulberry. You're thinking of mulberry. Sitting on a porch. That's Mayberry. What's Drury Lane? Drury is the muffin man.

Drury Lane? Yeah. Is that spelled like Drury? You know the muffin man. Drury. D-U-R-U-R-Y. You know the muffin man. He lives on Drury Lane.

That one? Yeah, that's Muffin Man. What is the next hard word to say? Drury. Drury. KB, why don't you What is the next hard word to say? Drury. Drury. KB, why don't you hand me one of those high noons? I do have to go at three for an interview, so I guess... No.

You do not get to leave, big cat. I mean, I have to leave. This is all you. This is your doing. How is it me? Vodka. How is it me? You called Dave.

You don't think he would have seen the clip that the actually you told and you told him to come on well yeah he's in the office you're like he's gonna be here on thursday you think that i i don't think it would have been clipped if we didn't call dave i think it was such a nothing it was definitely jay would have clipped some shit about like me being like oh my shoes are untied and I would have made the fucking cut. It is. Steven, you would have clipped it no matter what. I was getting clipped. Was absolutely getting clipped. I feel awkward.

Oh, wait. Where's it going? A little hand sanitizer. Dave's here. Oh, shit. I feel so uncomfortable. Dave is here. What up, Dave? Dave, how's it going?

He's been a little nervous. Nothing to be nervous about. I just saw a tweet that said you were ripping me apart, though. Is that true? Today? Yeah, today. No. Yeah, he was.

When? I just saw a tweet. No, it wasn't at all. Hey, KB. What's up, Dave? Hi, Dave. I said you could get it in Hulu Theater. You called Brad?

What'd you say, Brad? I screwed up. No, he hasn't been ripping you today. Okay. I knew he had balls. Are we going right now? Yeah, go. No, listen.

There's no way to prove I'm right or wrong because until it happens he i i think sass just because we don't interact really ever no and he doesn't really have much appreciation i don't think for like barstool or how it got here like i heard who are the comedians you were real reeling off i said burke kreischer it was the only person i said oh you said a bunch the comedians You were reeling off I said Burt Kreischer It was the only person I said Oh you said a bunch The comedians that sold out MSG Yeah Aziz

Aziz Aziz was the least famous Dave Chappelle Chris Rock So a clear thing A clear thing First of all There's a couple things

Why I think I could do it No problem First it's one show So I think that's been stated As opposed to, you know, you're doing a full-blown tour and people can see you however many times. This is one, one show, that's it. I mean, in my world, and you may think this is delusional,

like, yes, an evening of hate. So all the people I hate and then followed by a roast after. So it's like half. Like I'm going after my people and then like a Dan and a Kevin. I also think like if I just, hey, Bill Burr. Hey, Andrew Schultz. Hey, Sebastian Mascalf. Will you come?

That's a yes in two seconds. I'm going to put together a massive show. If it was that, yes, undeniably, because Sebastian, Bill Burr. But just here's the rhetorical. Here's the rhetorical. Why do you think they'd say yes to me in one second? Because you're you. And that's why people come.

I'm not saying that you're not famous. But no, you're missing a disconnect of like, well, yeah, you can get those three A-listers. Just be like, hey, come do like this roast for free. Be like, yep, when do you need me? With why people would be interested in going. Like somebody who can't sell Madison Square Garden can't make those calls and get them there instantly. It's 20 years of, like, doing this where it's created a fan base and connections and just

basically mutual respect with other people where I think it would be pretty easy for one. But you're sure you can get all those guys just like that? Pretty sure, yeah. I think you're... I still... I think... I don't think getting those guys would be the problem.

I think you could easily get those guys. I also don't think the roast idea would be the sellout. It would be you. No, but it's a final send-off. That's the thing. Like, if Dave was doing a tour, I do not think he would sell it. How many tickets is it? 17?

27,000. 27,000. Also, Steve Finer didn't say he Also, 200,000 by 6,000. I saw that. But they take out the stage. And so how much is like a comedy show there? It's not. It depends on where you do the stage.

They said the end cap was like 17. If you do the one where it's at the end, they block out the backside. What if you do it in the middle? You're in the middle. Didn't Bert say it was 27,000? Yeah. All right. Whatever the case may be, we have

and you said that you thought I'd do $7,000? I don't know what I was saying. Did you say $27,000? I probably, yes, I probably said that. I did say that. I mean, like, I think Minahan is like, I'm doing one show, would do $7,000 in

20 minutes. Like, $7,000? You think Minahan would do $7,000? He was doing a farewell tour? Yes. Not even, maybe one a year. He's done what? He's done the Wilbur? Yeah. He sells them out in five minutes. Like, seven, you think Minahan would do 7,000? He was doing a farewell tour, yes. Not even, maybe one a year. He's done what? He's done the Wilbur? Yeah.

He sells them out in five seconds. Yeah. Like, you know, and Grant's a different thing. Like, House of Blues in Boston

is, I think, 2,400. We sold it out seven straight days in a minute. But who was we? Barstool.

It's just Barstool. There was no talent. It was the Blackout Tour, but it's like, there was no talent and it was sold out in a minute, seven straight days. Yeah. I mean, look, I think if you have Bill Burr, Sebastian, Andrew Schultz on the No Problem, it sells out.

I think, I mean, also, I didn't, we weren't talking about a roast. The roast was never in the question. That's a whole different segment to the show. That's a big thing. Well, I'm trying to make it like an entertaining, good show. Okay, so that's- Last show ever. Yeah, but we never talked about a roast. That's completely different.

So where do you put it? This is, see, I thought about it. I don't want this to be like one gigantic Dave Portnoy sucks his own dick on the yak thing. But where do you put my level of fame compared to those guys i think you're way more famous than andrew schultz and i mean sebastian's fucking huge are you saying they have a routine an established that's the that's my argument is that they their entire careers are built off of people coming to see them live so let's use then definitely more famous than let's use and i think it varies but let's

use then the the dj example when we did the tours and we had no dj why were people coming what do you mean when you were doing the when we had no talent it was barstool blackout right no dj i mean that's like because it's a party but what's the like they, they're going to be coming, this is going to be a party for me. But it is. It is. That's farewell. That's two totally different things. Going to a blackout tour. That was come get drunk with us, come have fun, come see titties,

come do all that stuff, right? They're coming for Barstool. There's nothing else there. How many people do you think they were like, dude, let's go to the blackout tour, and there's people who maybe they're not big Barstool fans, they're like, the blackout tour. That was a participatory event.

I could enjoy the blackout tour without knowing what Barstool is. Yeah. Anyone wouldool fans are like, the Blackout Tour. That was a participatory event. That's different than watching it over a decade. I could enjoy the Blackout Tour without knowing about Barstool. Yeah. Anyone would. I would go to the Blackout Tour. That was over a decade ago, too. It got way bigger. Yeah, I know.

But you're putting on a, I mean, I'm assuming you guys did a ton of them, so it was very successful and people were like, this is a blast. Right, but start from nothing with no name except us advertising it. That's just not a one-to-one comparison, though. But it's not too far off if you can sell 5,000 tickets to that to nothing. Even us doing the college football tour. When we go to bigger schools, it's like insanity. Or not only that, anywhere.

But also then you get the— You're saying—I think you think it's like only— like there's some purity to a stand-up comic. No, I don't think it's like only like there's some purity to like a stand-up comic. No, I don't think that. I'm not. Everyone keeps thinking that I'm like looking at like stand-up. I'm using stand-up comedy as an example because it's usually extremely famous musicians or extremely famous stand-up comedians that do MSG. There's not really anyone else that does it.

But who does it like once? Well, Dave, if you wanted to do it, how does that even work? I would not be able to get MSG. I said that because Dolan will never give it to us. But you will do this someday. Yes, 100%. This actually will happen. It'll be most likely in Boston.

And I said earlier he could sell it out in Boston. Well, that's crazy because there's more fans here than there are in Boston. But the stadium isn't TD Garden smaller? Not much. If you put MSG in Boston is what he's saying. Yeah, James Dolan hates our guts. Like, we already tried to do, they wanted us to do the basketball event there.

We got kicked out of doing that. Like, he's not going to give a, he hates our guts. So we're not going to be able to do it there. We made one shirt. Kevin said sell the team t-shirts, and he's held a grudge for like two decades. Also, Clem hissed at him. That'll do it. Pretty sure Clem Histed him? What? That'll do it.

Pretty sure Clem Histed him. So you just think there's not 20 to 25,000 Dave Portnoy fans. Hardcore enough. Obviously, I know there's more. You have like 3 million followers on Twitter. There's way more than 25,000 fans. So hardcore enough to be here, get the tickets, do that. I mean, it comes down to a lot of factors.

How much would the tickets be? I don't know. Free. $50? Yeah. Well, I don't think you can sell tickets in MSG for $50. It costs a shit ton of money to even rent out MSG. Yeah, but it costs a lot of money,

but when you have no production or anything. It's a microphone. Yeah, but I just don't think... I don't know that you would set the price. How many venues have you rented out? What? I'm just asking. You haven't done this either. Either way, we're going to find out eventually.

They're just little... I'm on the team. Little things like this with Walker. Here he fucking goes. What did I say? 10 minutes? 10 minutes for the short motherfucker for this? 10 fucking minutes. Start talking on your ass. You have no idea, right? Wait, 10 minutes. I said 10 minutes he would turn to me.

But when you're like, you've never rented out venues either. Of course I have. I was talking. You've never rented out MSG is what I'm saying. It's a different animal. They're all different animals. But we looked at, do you remember when we tried to do Madison Square Garden because of the basketball thing?

We were doing it there. We had the cost. I'm not involved with that, so no. We had the entire cost structure broken down, and Dolan said no. So yes, contrary to popular belief around here, I've done a lot of things. I know how much it costs to rent venues. Who has said that you haven't done those things?

You just did. I said MSG. Brad. We had MSG for the basketball tournament. We had to move it. They had no chance. Yes, MSG is different than Wells Fargo and different than DCU, but you get an idea.

Either way, we're going to find out eventually. We finally have Dave on the yak. You were the one who had to get him on the yak, right? Yeah, in L.A. Can we yak for a minute? By the way, the evening of hate hate which you may be on as a representative demo like i'm not i'm not shitting on you i'm not saying that you're not very successful you indirectly are you're saying i don't have enough fans that would come for a gigantic send-off i

think that there's a lot of people even way bigger than you that could not sell at msg once yes like who yeah i don't know any of the people that you guys have had on bffs Way bigger than you that could not sell at MSG. Once? Yes. Like who? I don't know. Any of the people that you guys have had on BFFs, not one of them could sell at MSG. I don't know who's been bigger than me. What about Alex Ray or whatever? The D'Amelios, they have like 900 million followers. To do what? The D'Amelios 100%, I believe, could sell out Madison Square Garden if they crafted an event that was to their base,

like the Mila Khan or something, and you had... They would be like, they'd be barking outside of MSG asking people to come into the venue. No, I disagree. It just has no... Comedy show, comedy show. How many people come to your comedy shows? I think this is the root of it.

Oh, my God, this is not even close to the root of it. People are saying that. They're like, well, that's because Sass doesn't think he could sell at MSG. Obviously, I could not sell at MSG. But for one event. I think basing it off of popularity, I have half a million followers on Twitter. That would be the equivalent to me being like, I could sell at the Beacon.

I couldn't even come close. I would sell 400 tickets. Yeah, but the difference between, at least we'll say you and I, is if you're going socials, because you will see people with – my socials are very low probably. I know. Representative of like how known I am. Yes, I would agree with that. Yours is probably the opposite, higher. All right, okay.

No, you're probably right. You're probably right. Well, one event would – and we're going to do it. By the way, it's at the Mellows, so it's just like one time, no phones, no clips. You're out. I don't care if you want new phones. I'm done. That's the whole point.

They wanted to do it for our 20th anniversary, and I'd get canceled in a heartbeat. So I said, no, I can't do this night until I know I'm done, and everything's coming out. So you're framing this like you're burning bridges. You're saying whatever. Yes, back to day one stuff where I don't have to worry about anything that I want to say. It's going to be just an evening of hate. Everybody who has things to say about, I'm going to just rip them. What about this?

Because it would be a goddamn circus if you tried to do MSG. There would be protests and shit. People would go fucking crazy. Louis C.K. did. Louis C.K. jacked off. People hate Dave. I've already done the protest thing. We fills up the hype. He fucking jacked off. People hate Dave. People hate Dave. Yeah, for sure. I've already done the protest thing.

We went through that in Boston. I can't get Madison Square Garden, so I don't know why we can't. The protests, I don't know. That would be different. I got protested in the streets of Boston. I don't think that you'd get protested. There would not be protests. There would be some shit. There would be some pushback.

Dave, what's... Oh, 50-50. It's a good debate it's really not healthy debate not a debate i mean he's wrong that's what they're gonna find out he thinks he's not wrong i mean and then you come in well no i know the fucker well i mean if you rewind the tape you're like how would i know anything about right now madison square garden you said i said that what that was just a little bitty line I threw in and you have lessened to that

like it's his biggest thing like I shouted from the fucking rooftops we had a conversation about I don't know the cost of renting buildings not what I said at all that's not what I said at all you haven't had to do this yet with MSG concept that you're pushing

but we have rented out MSsg before and got canceled rad's helping you out says i'm not trying to you why don't you should do the roast regardless of the send-off but i don't i want it to be he wants to be a completely i want it's also not something that just happened like he's been talking about this for like years that's why i brought it up to begin with because you talked about it on son of a boy dad when you're right yes i i the roast can't nothing can happen in our world we live in currently where i don't want people to be worried i'm not saying obviously the extreme but i you know there's regulators i'd love to say my piece about there's everything so it's like i can't and i want anything to be said about me

like we have you know i i can't even say the stories i want to say right now because people what's he talking about so it it'll be everything it'll be everything uh all right so dave what else so you're here stream tonight i've made my plans stream tonight i do think the celtics is gonna win uh sass what do you think about the game i think it's gonna be a hell of a game who you rooting Plans stream tonight. I do think the Celtics is going to win. Sass, what do you think about the game? I think it's going to be a hell of a game. Who are you rooting for? You know who I'm rooting for.

You got a Sixers jersey? I'm trying to think who's bigger than me that couldn't sell out MSG for one day. I mean. Charlie XCX? No, Charlie XCX would definitely sell out MSG. Who is that? I didn't know. Nothing. Charlie XCX? No, Charlie XCX would definitely sell to MSG. Who is that? I didn't know. Nothing.

What's Charlie XCX? I don't know. She's huge in the lesbian, gay community. Sing, musician. Boom, clap. Oh, sound. Boom, clap. Has anyone seen that song that's like... She would sell it out.

The thing I don't get is, like, hasn't, like, Pop Punk sold, like, 2,000, 3,000 tickets? Yeah, that's music. There's a wall somewhere, right? What do you don't get is, like, hasn't, like, Pup Punk sold, like, 2,000, 3,000 tickets? Yeah, that's music. There's a wall somewhere, right? What do you don't get, though? It's like, this is... Music is so much different than a live presentation. Everywhere.

It doesn't matter, like, the quality of my presentation. It's, I'm going to fucking be hateful for a night. That's my presentation. I was saying, I do not feel like you have to be like, you have to be pretty deeply rooted

in the barstool world to want to, to go and enjoy that show. Yes. And there's a lot of fans who want to see it. I know. That is what I don't get.

That's what I was saying. The difference between that and music is that you could go see an artist, you could go to MSG and start a show you've never seen. You don't think you have to be

deeply rooted in barstool to buy a ticket to Pup Punk? No, because they're like a good— That's crazy! No, they do festivals. They don't come up right now to 90-10 me. You just said you would buy a Pup Punk ticket. Oh, that band's good. If you are a Barstool fan and you're like, hey, Pup Punk's performing at this Ocean's—

What was the festival they were doing? Calling, yeah. Ocean's Calling. Let's go to this festival. I want to see Pop Punk. Ocean Calling is not the example. They're part of a festival. I have friends that went and saw them in Connecticut, and they're not big barstool fans, and they

loved it because they're singing. Also, seeing a cover band, everyone likes seeing cover bands. They're playing all hits. Our tickets are like 30 bucks. Yeah, but they're playing strictly hits, and it's a night to just get fucked up with your friends and sing amazing songs. If you're saying Pop Punk is anything but a Barstool house band,

that's crazy. DJ, do another poll. I'm not saying... I'm saying that you do not have to be a diehard Barstool fan to go see Pop Punk. I wouldn't know what they were without Barstool. If you want to go, you're going to need to be a Barstool fan. If you want to go, someone's going to have to round up the troops.

There's nothing different if somebody's a diehard Barcelona fan under that analogy. Like, hey, this guy's about to go fucking nuclear. Like, just come along. What's the difference? Didn't Jake Paul struggle to sell out his fight? He didn't even come close to selling out MSG for his fight, right? I think Jake Paul was bigger, right? Jake Paul was at MSG.

Did he fail? I think he fell off. I don't think was bigger, right? Jake Paul was at MSG. Did he fail? I think he fell off. I don't think he fought, though. I think he promoted a fight between the women here, right? That was huge. That was a sellout. That's also not really an analogy because the guy's a fighter, so he keeps fighting.

He's not like, hey, this is it. I'm trying to think of somebody that's bigger that would struggle to sell it out. It's the last thing ever. I was saying it. I actually think, and people are like, this is ridiculous. But I said that if PFT and I told everyone we're done with part of my take, this is the last show ever, and we're going to do it live at MSG. I think it would suck.

But you agreed with that. I did. Which, again, is just you don't respect me. That has nothing to do with it. It has nothing to do with me respecting you. Why would PMT do it and I want it? Because PMT, my thing is that I don't think that you're known from so many different things. You're known from Barstool, the pizza reviews, the day trading, the BFFs, a ton of different shit. But that PMT is like one specific niche thing.

People would go to it. They'd know what they'd be getting. I think they'd know what they'd be getting with Dave. They'd be like, oh, they're going to get a lot of hate. They're going to talk about sports. They're going to do the lottery machine thing. And it would be like a live podcast. Now you're belittling me. No, I'm not.

How is that belittling you? What? Just give an example. I know. I was kidding. I don't think he's belittling me. Why are you on his side with everything too? I'm not on his side. I've been on record. I think you would sell out MS me. Why are you on his side with everything, too? I'm not on his side. I've been on record. I think you would sell out MSG. I'm on his side of not respecting you, but I think you would sell out MSG.

Wait, so what was your- If Brandon said he doesn't respect you, and I said I did not say that. Who? If you were on a tour- Yeah, tour's totally different. One last show, yes. Tour's totally different. I don't even think tour is that different. Yeah, it is.

That's an idiotic statement. I'm dealing with an idiot. I don't think it is either. You did a tour and you were building up a routine. Do you have any unbiased gurus? No, he's caught up on the quality of the set. Because the quality of what you're doing is what drives people to go to it. I think it's the last time ever.

Right. That's the part. Tour means that everyone can be like, oh, Dave's coming to my city. I don't have to go to MSG to see the last show ever. People would travel because it's the last. It's literally him saying, I'm out of the content life after this. Yeah, you're just. He's like, well, what are you going to talk about?

It may not be a great show. First of all, it's just going to be hate. That's what people like the most about me. How long do you think you could go? How long could I hate for? Yeah. Hours. Hours? Hours. I'd have to like the most about me. How long do you think you could go? How long could I hate for? Yeah. Hours.

Hours? Hours. I'd have to like 8,000 people. Yeah. What do I fucking care? I'd have to, like, again, he's going. Yellow legs up there. No, I'm not like you.

I'm not just. You need a fucking stool. This is the millennial, like, rolling out of bed. Let me get a cup of tea. I fucking sat in the Oval Office with fucking Trump with a million cameras. I don't care about fucking 28,000 stoolies. That's what we do. Like, that's what we fucking do. Tell it, MSG.

What would your open? When would you start it out? You just go up, you're alone in the center? Yeah, and then, like, it'll just have the list. Like, up there, who's on my list. I'm just going to go. Like a CVvs receipt like uh yeah like pm uh pardon the interruptions the on the right the list and i'm just gonna go one down

why i really fucking hate them yeah all the stories wait so what was your schedule you're saying you dave oh yeah i think it's determined on the Celtics. So, Celtics win tonight, which I think they are. I think they're going to win the series. Then we obviously have rough around tomorrow. Fly back, going to go Mother's Day with my mother to the Celtics, Game 7. And then fly back to Miami on Monday. So, are you – Connor Griffin is going to be – you're going to get to meet him, the little redheaded kid you don't like?

Yeah, he's dumb. Okay. What's wrong with Connor Griffin is going to be, you're going to get to meet him. The red-headed kid you don't like. Yeah, he's dumb. Okay, what's wrong with Connor Griffin? He's here. What's wrong with Connor Griffin? Dumb, that's what's wrong with him. He's a fantastic guy. He's dumb. Or he's not.

He's a good producer. He's a great guy. The ponytail, Max is going to be there. I'm excited for that. Smitty. What has he been doing? Nothing, not a goddamn thing. Honestly, what does he do? TonyTale, Max is going to be there. I'm excited for that. Smitty. What has he been doing? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing.

Honestly, what does he do? Smitty would get like 30 minutes on the evening of Pete. Yeah, you don't think I could just fucking go after Smitty for an hour straight? I have no idea. Yeah, trust me. That's because you don't pay attention. I do pay attention. Can we also...

I may even cede my Smitty section and give Nate 20 minutes. Oh, now that. A tight 20 on Nate. That would be incredible if the dog came up. To go in. Nate could sell out MSG. Yeah. I'm trying to think of somebody bigger who couldn't sell out MSG.

And by the way, there's bigger and there's not defined people who are perceived to stand. People know what they're getting. They've been waiting for the hate for a long time. Yeah. I'm trying to think who would be bigger that couldn't do it. I mean, there's a lot of people who haven't done it. Like who? Bert Kreischer.

He's an example. Doesn't he tour every day, though? Stand-up community sold out shows of Massacre on two hands. Like who? Bert Kreischer. He's an example. Doesn't he tour every day, though? Stand-up comedians, sold-out shows, a mastermind on two hands. Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Andrew Dice Clay, Chris Rock, Russell Peters, Dane Cook, Kevin Hart, Louis C.K. Dane Cook did it? Fuck, I can do it.

Dane Cook was the biggest comedian on earth for like five years. Seinfeld's never done it? Has he tried? He definitely hasn't tried. Who has like tried and failed? Yeah, that's a good question. I looked that up for hours and I couldn't find a single thing. I mean, you could just search comedians that have done MSG and if they're not one of them, Where was Bill Burr when he was in New York?

Seinfeld's played the theater down there. I don't know. So why wouldn't he try the big one? Where was Bill Burr when he was in New York? Bill Burr could do it easily. I thought he was in Madison Square Garden. I think he was at the movie theater. Maybe he didn't sell it out.

But was he downstairs? There's the downstairs. It's totally different. I'm not sure. Oh, maybe. Could Ben Shapiro? Yes, I bet he could. Yeah.

Yeah. Like Rogan could. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Rogan's done it. I don't know why he's not on that list. I'm pretty sure he's done it. So you're really confident tonight?

Yes. I think we have a hell of a chance Where are you from? I thought you were from Massachusetts I'm from Massachusetts He's just trolling you I wear this every day No Roan helps you though

Because Roan's a battler Where's Roan? He's on Most Dangerous Game Oh He's hosting that Listen I I think they're going gonna win tonight they played like

garbage we'll see what happens i'm confident i thought they'd win a lot other night i'm surprised but this is milwaukee did the same thing as milwaukee it's true and got game six in milwaukee came back and got game seven it's true so are you anything else that's going on i have one more thing can we clarify that i'd not ask for half a million dollars in my raise? I didn't say that. You said mid six figures. Mid can go, I'll say this. It wasn't 100 grand.

It was close to 100 grand. No, it wasn't. It was in the hundreds. I don't think it was. It was. I'm positive it was. I think. I will never forget the day.

I know. I know. I know. I know it was in the hundreds. I honestly thought it was higher it wasn't what was it says i thought it was two something no it was not roan told me to ask for two and i was like i'm not doing that that's insane well i maybe if you walked in and said roan said i should get two i equated it as two i was pretty sure it was in the twos it was

not it was in the ones one thousand percent and then I think I tried to combat it and be like, well, maybe just 100. And then I think I got like a pay – I got chopped a bit. Yeah. Got a bootleg raise. That happened to Dante. That's the Dante negotiation on the Blackout Tour where he wanted a cut of the door for ticket sales. And every time he went up, I went lower. So if we start at $100,

I went $120. It's like, how about $80? Every time he went up, I went lower. I'm fun to hit Dante, though. He got beat up, so I won't make too much fun of it. That was insane. That photo was shocking. That photo.

I did not expect it. I expected it to be bad because he made it sound really bad. You got to find that guy. I think they arrested him. He's in jail. They got him? I think you need to find him. I'm going to get beat up myself.

No, no, no. Yeah, I saw you did the Dante. Get your ass back. That guy's probably tough as fuck. Is there anyone else you got beef with right now? I don't really have beef with Sass I honestly think Sass just doesn't Like that tweet I wrote

Is kind of accurate I don't think he gets what Barstool is Like I think you're I actually think if you Went out with me For like 48 hours I may be wrong But I'm not saying you went out with me for like 48 hours, I may be wrong. But I'm not saying you're not famous. I know you're extremely famous.

He just invited you. Oh, no, no, no, no. He just invited you out for a weekend. That was 38 hours. He just invited you out for a weekend. That was where we go. KB come? That was not an invite.

KB can come, right? I want sass in the syndicate. You and KB got history. You guys parted in Vegas. But, Dan, you kind of – I'm just ignoring that. I'm not saying a word either. There's a difference between being well-known and famous and people being like, that's my guy when they see you out.

Right. Our audience, we have the that's our guy vibe. Right. The years that we've put in in the audience attachment, which is why the stoolies are the best, makes it different than any other act. You don't see really anybody who's ever been like, whether it's Brandon with the football show,

anyone who does pizza shows. I even saw the Disney boys be like, well, I don't know. Like, if you're around, you see it. It's like there's plenty of famous people that don't get the reaction for whatever reason we do. I think it's because we've come across and are like they're just schmoes. Everyone thinks they're our friends. Right.

So. Accessibility. That's the number one question I get asked when people find out I work for Barstool wherever I am. The first question, what's Dave really like? What's Dave? It's always about you. And then it's about if your tits are as big in person.

Brad's? Yeah. The first question is always, what's Dave really like? It's always Dave, Dave, Dave. What do you say? Exactly the same? I say he's a delight. I say he's just a treat.

Great guy. Not what I say. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a lot easier to exist when you're not and this is a it's been a long time since i've been in the office i know it's good to have you back i sit down people start coming in ask me questions i want no part of who came in nashville yeah he does it's like no yeah we like that i was we paul's and i had a discussion everyone's part of the magic or what makes it it's like everyone wants to move out of the office and i get a lot of it probably stems from me in the top but it's like i i've worked to get to this point

so sometimes but what are you going to do if you're not in the unless you're got something you're going to absolutely hang your hat on i was alice cooper they never came in the office but i'm not gonna be like be in the office but if you're a balls or a clemmer or somebody who may not yeah balls is on caleb's show but that's still caleb's show do i think that show stops working if balls is not on it no it's gonna work so unless you have that being in the mix here when cameras are on has a value if you're just he said one thing to me balls

he goes I do two shows a week I wanted to throw up on his face like oh you do two shows a week balls like it comes out twice you do Sunday conversation once OnlyFans once like i used to do four shows a day and write 10 blogs in between it's like what are we talking about that's what gets you a salary here now two shows a week or sass rolling out of bed for five minutes throwing

on his winter hat in the middle of summer and going home that's a salary now that's what we do so it's come crack the whip yeah but, it's not my whip to crack anymore. It's like, you know what? C'est la vie. I honestly wouldn't have said anything to Balls if he just landed in Nashville. Right. I'd be like, oh, he's in Nashville now. But if you ask me my opinion, I'm like, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.

And I told him that. I gave him a similar response when he asked me. So we're just paying you to do those two one hour shows and you're just gonna do nothing the rest of the week you don't like what why you're a freelance guy so Nashville's pretty sweet Nashville's great and it obviously gets hard for me to because I'm in Miami but if you're equating that i'm definitely at the tail end of what i'm doing like you know balls is not or anything it's not just a balls thing and i said it i think people around here depending on who they are and they're different like brandon has to be mississippi more i get it family still does a lot of stuff we said yes he still thinks

i'm disrespectful to him oh you you saw it's like i think we are going to start looking at remote people a little bit differently around here like okay if you're remote you better make sure you know that we used to have a guy who worked here mincy um and he did he did a report did you report he's like i'm not gonna have to do a report i'm like fuck yeah you are like reports like we can't just have people living either not in new york or chicago and doing nothing those days have to come to an end yeah now i may walk out that door and not think about it for like the rest of my life it's the beauty of it but in these doors it gets me mad it turns your like brain back on. Correct. You're paying attention.

That's why I got to get back out sitting on my dock looking at the manatees because I'm starting to sweat getting mad just sitting here. Fasoli works harder than anyone, if you know that. Fasoli, I do believe, works hard. He would kill for you. Austin works hard. Yeah. Austin is always here. He's the best.

He's always here. I've never seen him out of the office. I can text Austin at 4 a.m. He replies with an answer. I works hard. Yeah. Austin is always here. He's the best. He's always here. I've never seen him out of the office. I can text Austin at 4 a.m. He replies with an answer. I'm like, do you sleep? No. Those traditionally have been the guys that slowly work their way up here and become very successful people.

Yeah. Hey. All right, well, it's good to have you back, Dave. Everyone tune in for the stream tonight. We'll be in the gambling cave. Smitty, Max, Hank, Dave. Do you have anyone else coming? No.

Fights, maybe? I don't know. He doesn't seem to watch. That's cool. But, yeah, it'll be a fun time. Jersey Jerry's birthday. Today is his birthday? Yeah, he's – I'm not wishing him a happy birthday.

Why? He texted me last night and he was like, give me one winner that you know won't lose. I saw you. I was like Warriors minus seven. I loved it so much. Oh, yeah, I took Mr. Ice. Disaster. Mr. Ice is killing me.

Okay. All right. Who's going to be here tomorrow? I'll be here. All right. I'll be out. Ruff and Rowdy. Everyone go buy Ruff and Rowdy.

We'll be in Western Virginia tomorrow night. Buy R&R.com. And, yeah, we'll see you tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. Outro Music