The Yak - Dave Portnoy Sounds OFF After Employee's NSFW Company Email | The Yak 7-17-24

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

The Yak crew recovers from launching dingersYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Hello, everyone. What's up? Hi. How we feeling? Where's brandon kb's out where's brandon kb's in bend we just finished the rundown oh so he needs a break he's a break i don't know about you guys but i'm feeling good today it's rare for me i feel feeling loose and limber how about you i need a fucking percocet. Yeah. My body is broken. Everything. Hank's in a sling.

Hank's in a sling. Do you think you'll, I know you'll never want to quit the goofs, but do you think Father Time will force you one? Well, funny you say that, because this is the first time. Now, I'm not going to bullshit anyone. I'm not a very good athlete. But I think I have enough abilities to do the fun stuff and have fun with the boys. But this was the first time where I was like, father time might have arrived.

Because we were halfway through the event last night and titus aptly pointed out that if you looked at the bottom of the list it was me it was titus it was chief it was brandon and what are those four people have in common i think we're the four oldest 37 plus and i it dawned on me i was like not a coincidence i might just be washed yeah because like like not that now don't get me wrong max a 22 year old me max would still hit a million more sure same with evo but i felt the limitations of my age last night like i had not felt before and it was the first time where I was like maybe I just can't hang anymore yeah did it give you a little bit of a fear of like maybe like like what it did to Tom

Brady you're gonna stop eating strawberries are you gonna make a no I'll still eat the strawberries um no I think I'll just quit yeah yeah I think I'll just be like no I'm not doing it but that's the problem is I love doing it I had so much fun last night it was so much fun I think I'll just be like, no, I'm not doing it. But that's the problem is I love doing it. I had so much fun last night. It was so much fun. I think we need to just tell you. I think we just need to have an old guys crew where we're just pumping each other up and being like, look, when we do these events, let's just not get injured. Yeah. Everything except an injury is a success.

You don't want people doing this face when you're up to bat. You know, I saw it. Some people were tweeting being like how are you you know how do you have half the home runs max by the way is a beast he played college baseball yeah he hit it so far so far same with ebo yeah um so i have no shame having those guys just absolutely kill us uh but yeah i think we just need to reset the you know what we need to do is we need to get we need to get a little biden we need to have a little bit of dementia start saying some weird

shit and then like maybe poop our pants and people will start looking at us differently yeah and then it'll be inspiring when you do right okay like we need to have some falls some very public falls yeah for for the record i was just as good last night as i thought i would be like yeah like i some people were like dude you were talking i mean i was not talking a big game for myself i said on the show i will be the worst one there i was talking a big game for the group and i thought we fucking crushed oh we did my confidence was that i would i thought i was going to be the worst and i knew i was capable of hitting a home run every four or five pitches,

which is what I did. So I was fine with it. But, yeah, I'm with you. It was less like the skill thing. It was more like, yeah, I'm old as fuck. Like, that was really setting in. Like, I felt – I just felt like even on home runs, I was like – I remember hitting, like, a softball when I was 27 and what it felt like.

Yeah. And at 39, it's like like it was like damn that was that was a lot of work to get that over a hitting 120 i was hitting some kind of solid and i was still going please go please right exactly like a pop fly i was like damn there's a time in my life where you hit a solid and you're like oh i fucking that that's that's going to the moon you know last night i was like please just yeah i to stop. I loved every second of it. That's the thing. I don't think I'll ever stop because I do thoroughly enjoy it.

I just think I need to have my own internal recalibration of when I do any of these things, just be like, don't get injured. That's really all that matters. You both need, and Brandon, a token geezer on these events. Yeah. Have a geezer. And have him bat last and just be like better than that guy yeah my favorite part about last night was brandon letting out his uh moan oh i told him at the end of the i told him his yells the the dugout we hit a lull

around 300 home runs where everyone was like all right we're we're kind of losing some wind. And him scream home run hitting. It was like his body was releasing everything it had. It was like crying. His body was crying. Can we have any of his scream home runs? One of those got tweeted. Brandon experienced what would be my nightmare as well. What?

A bunch of street youths came up to watch and were snickering at you. You kind of own them. I saw you own them. I don't want a giggling teen behind me. I had a great rapport with them. Yeah, he did. Oh, did you? Yeah, I was a little bit further.

I thought they were. No, those were my boys. Are you sure? They were snickering at me. Yeah, the youths I noticed, and it's rare that you have these moments in life, but I could feel the torch being passed in front of me because they came in and they were like,

big cat, big cat, big cat, and then after they were there for an hour, they're like, that Max guy's so awesome. And I was just like, all right, there it is. The torch has been passed. It's over. At one point, every time i would go up in my back swing they would they would like snicker and say like stroke it daddy oh it's like oh this is weird their first uh the first my first go when they were there was the i had the grease bat oh the

worst so i explained the worst when i got back i said hey i'm better than that watch next time i got something for you kids and i probably shouldn't have said it like that and then then when I came back up, I was like, what's up, guys? I talked to him every time. I said, hey, how about that college football 25, huh? I heard that. And I was just talking shit with him. So I made the youth my friends. Okay.

You're good. I didn't want to be near the youths. That's my number one fear. I enjoyed the youths. We should say also the all-star of the game was Connor, KB, and Nick. Yes. You guys carried. There was a moment when we were in the dugout.

We just weren't talking to each other. We got to a autopilot zone where it was just like, all right, now my turn, now my turn. And I was thinking, like, if we didn't have Nick, KB, and Connor in the booth, this would be one of the worst streams of all time. That's not the case. That's a little bit exaggeration. That's an exaggeration big time.

Connor makes it easy because he'll just talk. And he also, he's so fun to fuck with. He's so fun to fuck with. Why did he send that email? That email. So can you explain it and can we show the email? So we were talking about how the Pharrell biopic is a Lego movie. Pharrell decided to make his biopic that immortalizes him a Lego movie.

Wait, is this for real? Pharrell. I didn't want to do that. I walked into that. I walked right in. And he was like, well, if you like Legos, look at what what i just text you and it was this giant titted leg so he really did have that on and he was like i've been waiting for somebody to bring up legos so i could send this all right man i was like and i was like this is really fucking funny dude

i bet you the entire office would want to see it and connor oh no no no we're like dude at the halfway point as a boost of morale just send it to the office and i promise you you won't get in trouble like everybody will like this and he was like no no no and then kyle i don't know how kyle does it he's an expert at peer pressure and he's like come on man he really i think kyle just goes come on do it and i think people are just happy that kyle's talking to them yeah and so connor's like all right you promise i won't get in trouble and we're like yeah you have no authority to make that promise the pizzas got there and i was like i went up the page i was like hey i know we've been having some issues with people uh abusing the chicago content email Can you please schedule a meeting with Connor

and act like you're really pissed? And then he sent off the email, and then we told him Dave Portnoy's on the email, and then he started freaking out. That's what he said. Y'all need to get a load of this. I support LBGT, Lego Girl. It doesn't even add up.

It doesn't even add up. The best was it hit the dugout because we were on the other side and we couldn't hear you guys and there was like a two to three minute moment where we didn't know what was going on and we didn't realize that you guys were fucking with him and we're like what is what the fuck that coming from connor griffin is so absurd yeah yeah we thought he genuinely sent that. Yeah. We're like, what is going on right now?

And then for about two hours, we didn't tell him it was a joke. And we realized he just wasn't talking. He was just refreshing his email. He had to go do a lap. He had to go talk to you. Oh, that's his lap. Yeah. He was like really, really freaking out.

And then we told him that it was all a prank. He was like, no, you guys are just saying that to make me feel better. No, dude, we swear. We were like, Paige was in on it. And then he went to go talk to Paige, but we didn't tell Paige that we already told him. So Paige was still pretending to be pissed at him. And so it made him worse.

He was like, you guys are lying to me. Like, stop fucking with me. That was it. All right, I just texted him to come in here. I want to hear from his side because he probably was freaking. But also, like, funny-ass meme. Yeah. Hilarious meme.

I'm sure everybody, I'm sure, like, the sales guys, I'm sure, like, Nick Addison loved to get that laugh. Dave probably did get that. You think? I'm pretty sure he would be included on a Chicago email. I think he gets all the emails. I do like that he genuinely did send it to you. Yeah, he did. He was like, Nick genuinely did send it to you. Yeah, he did.

He was like, Nicky's got to get a load of this. Connor, come sit down. Having that save your camera roll is awesome. That's depraved. On a Tuesday night at 7.17 p.m. Why? Why? Let's start with why.

That was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life. That's not answering why. You know why. That was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my life. That's not answering why. You know why. We didn't really have to push you too far. Why did you have that in your camera roll? Because I was going to send it to the Mostly Sports group a while back, just a little joke. Yeah.

Because I saw it on Twitter, and I was like, yeah, maybe the guys would get a little bit of an LOL out of this. And then it didn't work out where I sent it, and then I just had that in my camera roll still and then when he brought up lego i was like oh nick let me let me send you this we were talking about nothing for a good four hours or five hours i said you guys saved the stream and we just needed to like come up with random shit and that was random shit and i was like here nick let me let me send this you guys were essentially yakking while we just hit dingers yeah yeah kind Yeah, kind of. We just put out like a five-hour podcast. Yeah.

But that's like, I keep saying it, but I'm going to stress it more. That was so essential. Well, Zoopy got smart with Connor. Yeah. Because we were talking about something that wasn't about the stream. I was talking about pizza, how the pizza had just arrived. Yeah, and Zoopy goes, nice commentary, Connor. And then you snapped.

I was like, what the fuck do you want me to talk about? You snapping is so funny. Wait, how do you snap? What is your snap? He said, what the fuck do you want me to talk about? Yeah, and I love Zoopy,

and that's why I did it, because he and I have a good relationship. But yeah, I was like, Zoopy, shut the fuck up. There we go. Put on the headset and talk. Obviously, we weren't wearing headsets, but still. It was a very strange experience that I loved.

It was very fun. We had a blast, yeah. But yeah, the two hours where I thought that Dave was getting the email and Paige was legitimately pissed at me and I had to have a meeting and I was going to have to meet with HR, like that, that, I was very upset about it. Yeah, I could tell you were a little tense too. I was very tense, yeah. I came by once once and i said i can't remember who it was maybe it was ebo off the t and he had two

home runs or something like that and you're like max max you're like and good round for max with two and i was like connor that was a bad round and you're like what it's off the t i'm trying to stay positive and i was like whoa yeah Yeah. There were also points where I was like, I just totally blacked out and I had no idea what was going on. And I had just forgotten so much stuff. And I just was not processing. Because you were just dealing with the fact that you could be fired over Lego. I didn't think I was going to get fired. It was just that it was so not in my character to do that.

And I also, like Paige had just sent out the email a couple days ago like do not blow up the company but are we allowed to talk Nikki smokes called everybody pussies for not playing basketball on a Friday which is also ridiculous because if you had told me when we open this office

in November if you're like hey are we gonna play basketball yeah we'll play basketball every Friday July and August we probably won't play basketball yeah we'll play basketball every Friday July and August we probably won't play basketball much because it's fucking Friday on in Chicago beautiful a million things and the email was like to work on Fridays but at three o'clock people want to go

home and I'm cool with that yeah and that that email was like kind of like I've been sitting around all week waiting for this he FaceTime me before he sent it and read it to me and I was like yeah fire that off. Oh, my God. So I didn't want to come on the heels of Nicky Smokes. But there's one key question here.

Yeah. You are attracted to Lego girls with big titties. Yes. You like any sort of redhead. So that Lego girl was a redhead. Yeah. And you like any green fictional woman. Yeah.

Yeah, we did talk about that on the stream yesterday. I do. Yeah. So you are did talk about that on the stream yesterday. I do, yeah. So you are like, you sent us, it was a joke that you sent it to us, but it's not a joke that you find that Lego attractive. Yeah, no, it's not a joke. Show it again. Let me see it.

She's got big tits. She's an attractive Lego. But how do you go about betting her? Lego legs don't spread, as we all know. That's tough. Yeah, that's a good point. Do you have to transform your... Yeah, like that?

I don't know. That turns you off. No, it doesn't. Yeah, it does. That doesn't turn me off. If you were in prison or if you were on the high seas, could you get off to that? In that case, yeah, probably.

Like if you went to... If I'm in the high seas, yeah. If you went to prison we like we wouldn't bake you a cake and put like a shiv in there we would bake you a cake and put lego girl with big titties in there and you'd be set for life i guess so yeah yeah i don't know no yeah he's attracted to any green fiction any uh fiona even i was gonna ask he's very into fiona very into fiona but i i definitely think she gets a into Fiona. I'm not very into Fiona. Ogre Fiona. But I definitely think she gets a bad rap.

Like, she's not ugly. She's an ogre. Who gives a shit? She's an ogre. She's literally an ogre. She gets a bad rap. I guess she's as sexy as an ogre could be. Yeah, she's the prettiest for an ogre, yeah.

Gamora in Guardians of the Galaxy. Well, of course. Would. The Twi'leks. The Twi'leks. Can I see Fiona? Ogre Fiona, not human Fiona. Do you like Ogre Fiona more?

No, but I think if you have to choose, it's not that wide of a gap. Is your ideal girl a pretty wide gap? That's a wide gap. I don't know. I mean, look at human Fiona. Look at the bottom left. Bottom left right there. But that's not. She never dresses like that. I'm just saying. She's. I mean, look at look at human. Look at the bottom left. Bottom left. She never dresses like that.

I'm just saying. No, that's a that's an oak. That's a monster. That's that's a swamp beast. Every single one of you would. There's you're all. That's not. That's a different conversation.

OK, it is a different. Still a wide gap between human Fiona and ogre. Can you please for me? You don't even have to send it off. Actually, I'm not sending off anything. I told Paige, too. Can you tier list your fictional green women off of fuckability? TJ, I just sent you a link to an article.

I want to go down it with you. Right now? Is there an article? Yeah, I just searched green fictional women. Okay. There's 13. There might be men as well. Can you please rank the men as well can you please rank

the men as well okay because like i know you're not gay but pretend you are for this exercise are we ranking them all and you're bisexual all right that works you're ranking them by fuckability all right who's this that's that's more that's gamora and is she just like one one on your oh i haven't seen the rest of the list, but it'd be very hard to top her. It's got to be 1-1. Okay, Kermit the Frog. I'll go 12. Is this like a blind? He's ranking them.

1-13? Yeah, okay. I like a blind ranking. I want to see them all first. No, no, no. I like a blind ranking. Yeah, they do this a lot on TikTok where you blind rank not knowing what's coming next. You get fucked at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'll put Kermit at 12. Okay. So you're leaving a room behind him. Oh. 13. 13. Oh, wow. That's surprising.

Oh. This is a woman. I'll go 10. Okay. Two. Two? What? I'll go 10 okay 2 hold on these are all guys I love Yoda but I'll go I'll go 11

you've taken out all the 10 through 13 yeah 9 these are all men 8 this is a bad list this is a bad These are all men. Eight. This is a bad list. This is a bad list. Just all men. Seven.

I got to hold out for some girls. What the fuck is this? You got six. You're about to get book copied by the turtle. Oh, no. The ranch is not fine for you? I'm thinking you might be gay. Dude, you only want to fuck guys.

Yeah. Slimer. Don't tell me Slimer. Slimer's got to be one. This is... Okay, well, we'll do two for Slimer. We'll do two. Texture, good texture.

Four for Rango? Okay. One. Oh, there we go. Praxis and Green. Oh, I guess Green in the comics, but... Three. Praxis and Green.

Three. TJ, is there a tier maker already with pre-built green women? Yeah, we need green women. That was a bad job by me, but also we found out you're gay. I don't know. There's got to be. There's a good bit of green women, I'd imagine. Is that why you're a green guy in House of Dragons?

No, no. That's just because I think Allison is a smoke. But also because I do side with the Hightowers for the most part. You're the most put-together horny guy. I guess, yeah. Usually guys of your caliber of horniness are slobs. Yeah. You're a pretty well-groomed sex pest.

I appreciate that. Thank you very much. KP keeps his mic low, by the way. He's short. Yeah, I guess so. He's a short guy. Oh, is there actually? Whoa.

Oh, the green M&M. Green M&M. Oh, that's the horny one. Yeah, I guess so. He's a short guy. Oh, is there actually? Whoa. Oh, the green M&M. Green M&M. Oh, that's the horny one. Yeah. Yeah. She's a fucking freak. I forgot about the green M&M. I'll have to look after this.

It's got a lot of dudes, too. Too many dudes. Where are all the green women? Yeah. I don't know how this... I think I was like a little kid. Oh, powder puff girl. There's not nearly enough green women to match the number of green men.

No. We need to break through that. And Luigi's just wearing green clothes. Is Yoshi a dude? Yes. Yeah. He lays eggs. Okay.

Oh. Oh. He does lay eggs. Well, we call him a he. Who's, I don't know. Are they? Is Toad a girl? Toad is.

Toadette is a girl. Toad's a dude because Toadette exists. Oh. Oh, okay. But Yoshi reproduces. Lays eggs. Asexual. So you could put Yoshi on there.

He uses them as weapons, right? Isn't Yoshi a species? There's blue Yoshi. Oh, that's right. There's red Yoshi. That's right. There's a bunch of Yoshi. Oh, my God.

Isn't Yoshi a species? Nick was charging up well Connor that was great last night good job you unironically killed the final call yeah oh thank you and I told Nick afterwards like as long as we just like talked about nonsense and filled dead air for the first like

five hours or so as long as we nailed the ending then we would be fine and I think we had a good you guys nailed it yeah I had a ton of fun except for you so close embarrassment from the email but anyway yep folks he's tied it did you prep this line before?

By the way, pause it real quick. Did anyone notice what Jacob did? Yeah, I was going to bring this up. Oh, yeah. I was going to bring this up. What was that? Insane. Yeah, this was insane.

Did that happen in Barry Bonds' record breaker? I think Jacob was just feeling himself. Yeah. That was one of the weirdest moves I've ever seen. Most insane thing I've ever seen. All right, we'll show it. Is it in the video? Yeah.

I was thinking maybe like Hank Aaron. After five hours and 49 minutes. I like the gym man set up right there. We'll get there. We'll get there. We'll get there. After five hours and 49 minutes and eight seconds, Jersey Jerry sends one into the night.

There it is. Barry Bonds meet Jerry Bonds. So that I knew I was going to say that. Jersey Jerry makes history in Roanokeville, Illinois. What is he doing? He slides into third. What was that? I don't know. And Jacob was an all-star last night. What was that? I don't know.

And Jacob was an all-star last night. He was going out there. Well, he didn't do what I asked him to do. Yeah, that's true. I asked him one specific thing to do, and he didn't do it. You told him he'd get a job for life if he did a Jose Canseco. And, again, I don't have the authority to do that, but had he taken a Jose Canseco off the head and contributed to a home run,

he had multiple opportunities. Titus hit one. I was doing it all night. Dan hit one. I was hitting warning track shots all night. And he didn't do it. All he had to do was take it off the dome, over the fence, and he didn't do it.

But this is the Jacob roller coaster you talked about when we first met the guy. He was an all-star all night for six hours. He was incredible in the field. He had a clicker counting his outs. And then he undoes it all by sliding in the third and cutting Jerry off to slide in the third on the final moment. He's a wild card. Why would you?

I have some insight on that. So I was out in the field with him last night. Connor, you can hang out if you want. And he was – so, yes yes he was counting his outs and his goal was to get 27 outs a full a full game he got to 26 outs he was really sweating during uh jerry's last you know 10 home runs or so and was trying his hardest to get that out all night he kept talking about making sliding catches and teaches out in the outfit with me you saw him just sporadically sliding or trying to slide and make catches even when he wasn't close to the ball um so after jerry hit that home run i don't know why he did it to third base but he did it and i

was next i was like what are you doing like waiting to cut jerry kind of said like get out of here and then he's like and then he turns me goes oh no i didn't know jerry was doing like a trot i feel awful so i think it was a genuine mistake. Jerry was in second base. We were all huddled around home plate waiting for him to. I do not think he was clued in on that portion of it. So I know he immediately wrote in. He has eyes.

Use your eyeballs. I'm not defending and saying it was right. I'm saying that he did not. He was unaware of those proceedings and immediately felt awful about it. Okay. I'm going to tell him to come in here. Yeah, I need an explanation for this. Can I watch it one more time?

Yeah, he goes in for the slide, sees Jerry, waits. Yeah, he had the moment to not try to steal it, and then he was like, nah, I'm going to do it. Or he could have waited until Jerry went to third, and then he could slide in second. Wait, wait. And then. Rodding the base.

Right in front of him. Was somebody filming him? Did somebody have a phone? I don't think so. No, he just. No, because. I didn't know if maybe like intern Joey. Did Jerry touch second, by the way?

Oh, no. Oh, fuck. This would be all time. I think they might have just been fucking with us. But this would be. Well, we don't see him first, so hopefully we see his feet. Yeah, I think he's got it. I think he's got it.

That would have been so bad. I did like that ending a lot, though, as opposed to doing like the fourth. Yeah, we would have hit over 763, and it would have been so anticlimactic. Brandon, how are you doing? I'm doing good. I have an exciting announcement. I already made it, but I didn't vomit last night. Oh, right.

I was out in the sun for four hours. It was a six-hour stream. I made it four. The last two I sat out. The clip of – can you pull that up, TJ? The clip where Connor was like, I think I was giving everyone a pump up speech. And he's like, you can see everyone's getting excited and they're catching a second wind. And then it's just Brandon and I.

Like dead. Listen, I know it's come up a couple times in my barstool career. I love sitting in grass, man. I love sitting down in grass and just chilling out it was actually your two favorite things that you were doing at the same time sitting and eating a blizzard oh i was gonna say sitting and not being built for this i would i would argue against this one i i feel like you were built for last night i gave a good accounting myself you gave everything and i even asked i said no i know you gave everything. And I even asked, I said. No, I know.

You gave everything. We got to 8 o'clock. I texted you. I said, I think I need to sit out a little bit. Also, if you were able to sit in the, if you were able to handle the sun, Ebo would have never come as your replacement. True. Correct.

That's a great point. And he was a star. That would have added like another two hours with no Ebo. Fucking Ebo, man. Also, Ebo kind of like his home runs juiced everyone else up. Yeah. He would just be hitting them so hard. Well, Max was awesome and obviously hit the most,

but that was expected. We all knew Max played college baseball. Yeah, that wasn't a surprise at all. Ebo was hiding this talent from us. He hit one 418. Also, White Sox Dave was like an underrated just workhorse. Yeah. He just got up there.

I don't think he talked the entire night. No. Every swing was just as hard as the one. Every swing he put 150% into it. And he could hit 7 out of 10 and he would walk away from, because I was behind him. So I would always walk past him.

He could hit 7 out of 10 and you would think that he hit zero. He was pissed. So mad. Just furious the entire him. He could hit seven out of 10 and you would think that he hit zero. He was so mad. Yeah. Just furious the entire night. I was behind Hank and Hank was a fucking machine. He had a perfect swing. Yeah. Perfect.

Yeah. I was surprised at how good he was good at the wiffle ball though. So maybe I should have been surprised, but I was, I was surprised at how well it also Hank's story is an interesting one because he, I think, so, no, his birthday's in the spring. But he played, he was the 13-year-old who played Little League. Yeah. So, he'll tell you about it. Like, he was the greatest Little League player of all time.

Yeah. So, anytime we get, like, in a Little League setting, he just, like, goes back to just being a dominant force. Yeah. Like, he says that he peaked at 13 he was like like Pedro Martinez mixed with Barry Bonds and like it was the greatest year of his life yeah

so he loves being back there do you have that clip TJ of Brandon big time momentum swing in the stream sun's going down blizzards are on the way people are really starting to get into a group really good cut i didn't see that actually that's the first time i've seen that brandon there was a moment where i was like oh shit is this where like the broadcasters have

to be delicate around an injury because i thought thought that you were dead when they first showed you. I made it four hours, though. No, no, yeah, I know. But when you were on the ground for the first time, you were laying down on your face. I laid down at first, yeah. Yeah, and people were surrounding you, and it was also right when, yeah, I think Big Cat was like, okay, let's get out into the field.

Let's clean up some balls. I thought we were taking a break because you were legitimately hurt. Well, no, I was laying there was my headache was kind of coming and i was laying there very quietly and peacefully and it felt really good and this motherfucker mook just bum rushed me and just ran up on me scared the shit out of me so then i decided to sit instead of lay the rest of the night i came to tickle your belly i know but i was it was not a tickle the belly type of moment yeah you got it but took care of you. I brought you over to town, some cold water. Yeah, you did.

Did you see the injury report? Oh, yeah. What is this? Fasoli was the only one that got hurt. He was limping off the field when we all had just been hitting dingers for six hours. No, he was limping off the field when we got there. No, it was in the morning. And he's not here today.

No, he's not here. He's out we got there. Apparently. No, it was in the morning. And he's not here today. No, he's not here. He's out because of that. Oh, my God. Perfect. Yeah, everyone else was a star. Everyone else was crushing it. Shout out to the use of Romeoville. There was like four guys that said that they showed up maybe three hours in

and just played on the other side of the fence, catching balls and bringing them back. Yeah. It came up to us after for pictures. Like, catching balls and bringing them back. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. He came up to us after for a picture. I was just like, thank you. No, that was so much fun.

Who made, who made the pizza? Who brought the pizza? Oh, shit. Yeah, we should. Good pizza. It was fucking good. That guy out. That pizza was dangerously good. Seminos.

Seminos? Seminos in Romeoville. Oh, my God. C-E-M-E-N-O-S. Shout out to that fucking guy. So good. It was crazy watching the dugout being like, I'm going to go eat one slice. I just need to fuel up a little bit.

And we all had like three or four. Yeah, we were just. Yeah, three or four. That's how many we had. Yeah, that was, yeah. I will say, I hate to throw my guy under the bus, but Evo is being accused of a little mincey situation where he's conversation baiting right today. Yeah.

Oh, he is? He's walking around. He's like, what's up, guys? People are kind of waiting for her for someone to be like dude you killed it last night yeah that thing yeah people are calling him ego yeah oh no oh no yeah i'm gonna bring him in and let's not talk about it yeah see how long see how long ago before i mean, I was glazing him last night heavy. Hitting a baseball of the big four sports, is it the worst one to be awesome at outside of the pros?

Because you're not going to be in situations where you could show off that you can hit a home run very often. Hockey, you can ice skate. Football, people pass football on the beach all the time. Basketball, obviously. Yeah. Yeah, be able to hit a baseball really far.

But I think it's the one that commands the most respect when you do get to unleash it. But the situation is so rare. Even in batting cages, you can't tell how far it would go. That's true. I don't know about the respect. Why don't you slide on in here? Oh, yeah, Jacob, we got to talk to you real quick.

Yeah, you're a... I got to face the music about this. We're talking about Jerry and Jacob after dark. Yeah. Yeah. Jay, Jerry. Jacob. The Quaffle. My name's Jacob and I know I fucked up again.

Okay. All right. How'd he do that? Yeah. I don't know. Welcome, Jacob. Hello. Hi, Jacob.

Congrats for last night yeah i feel really bad about that i did not know jerry was running the bases wait he was around second i swear to god i did not see him no no you did we saw the clip i turned to the right and saw the camera i saw colton on the camera the clip again now you're you're coming towards i was running the third i saw colton on the camera and then i stopped and then i ran into third maybe but even when he started running from the outfield jerry's running directly at it i was looking straight at third i swear you don't see him because i i once i i slid and then i I saw Jerry running to third, and then I immediately got up, realized, oh, shit, and I ran away.

Did you think the camera was for you? So wait, what was the stop? Okay. Stop? Okay, the stop was Colton was panning the camera as I was running, so I didn't know what it was on, and I was confused for a sec, and then I was like, is it didn't know what it was on and i was confused for a sec and then i was like is it on me clearly it was not um i was delirious tired i hesitated and stopped and then i ran and slid into third because i wanted to slide into a base after we had uh completed our

mission you're impossible to be mad at yeah no so i apologize i wasn't trying to steal steal jerry stunder i did text him after apologizing i think i love you more now yeah this is you just why didn't you take a ball off the head i i yeah i had two perfect opportunities and i couldn't do it i'm sorry it's okay it is your head yeah i didn't want to get concussed but also like for the bit like i get it yeah all right i think you've redeemed yourself. Absolutely. Okay.

Sorry again. No, I guess he doesn't have pants on. You don't have to say sorry. You want that quaffle? I just wanted him to slide, but he doesn't have pants on. Who signed the quaffle? The guy that plays Neville Longbottom. Oh, really?

Yeah, Matthew Lewis. That's really cool, actually. Yeah, you can have the quaffle. Really? Yeah. I'll take the quaffle. Cool. Thanks, guys.

Nice. Look at that. Comes in apologizing and leaves with a quaffle. Really? Yeah. I'll take the Quaffle. Thanks, guys. Nice. Look at that. Comes in apologizing and leaves with the Quaffle. A Neville Longbottom signed Quaffle. Unbelievable. Come on, Ebo. Ebo, come on in here.

Did you? Ebo, we wanted you to come in because I had a question for you. Did you see, and I think this is a real medical thing, did see big evans bell's palsy no which the jim ross thing wait what yeah i think the mountain had that in game of thrones as well is that where like half your face is paralyzed yeah yeah he i just sent you the clip it's hard because it's like you can't laugh at it but also when i saw his face put the camera on him i got bell oh my god oh wow wow i don't know joel and beat this Embiid had this. This is the worst it's been. This is the worst it's looked right now. Yes.

In real time, they told me day three would be the worst. Day three is today. I started feeling weird on Monday, drinking water. Mouth was a little numb. Yesterday was way worse. It was gradually getting worse throughout the day, so I went to the doctor last night. Said I have Bell's palsy.

I got antibiotics and whatever. And, yeah, they said today would be bad. And now I'm looking at myself like, holy shit. And that's what Embiid had in the playoffs. I mean, he played through it, so I'm going to podcast through it. That's hard. That's so hard. What did you think, Ivo, about that?

That's kind of crazy. That sucks. We're just trying to get everybody's opinion. Anything to say to Ev? Gratitude. From. Anything to say to Ev? Grats on re-upping. From one Ev to another. Yeah.

That's what I brought you. Grats on what? Re-upping his contract. Oh, he did? Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. I hope he gets better.

Che, did you mean to come out as trans? Was that the joke? No, I got transition lenses. Yeah, but you made it like this big announcement, and then it was that you were transitioning. Is that the joke, or was that? No, no. It seemed like that.

Oh, no, no, not at all. Yeah, no, this does feel like you're transitioning. Have you seen the video? No. I am making a big change. I love this video. I wanted you guys to hear it from me first so it doesn't come out on any secondary sources whatever you're hearing it's straight from the horse's

mouth so to speak it's something that if you've been paying attention i've been talking about very openly i think for the last couple months um it's a big change for me personally and i'm really looking forward to it uh as a guy who has worn glasses for the past 28 years it's time and it's transition lenses sunglasses outside regular glass inside the football guy way to deal with shout out ron rivera shout out Ron Rivera shout out Jim Harbaugh I'm now part of the team team transition lenses that was a video that was

you saying you're transitioning I guess technically to the different type of eyeglass frame or eyeglass lenses well you're brave thank you unbelievable Che also somebody said you had the Phil and Lil haircut. That was good.

That was good. I said 8.9 out of 10. Yeah, no, this looks like you're transitioning. Yeah. I mean, yes, I am transitioning to transition lenses. When I go outside with them, they turn into sunglasses automatically. It's perfect. Such an old guy move. It is, it is, but I'm ready for it, I'm 38

Good job catching balls last night, Che Thank you, it was a lot of fun Ibo, I had a question about last night Did you get me the box score from the All-Star game? That I needed Yeah, on the What? That I needed to talk on Mostly Sports

Yeah, it's on the prep sheet okay good did you oh evo i have a question about last night did you like the pizza yeah pizza was great yeah it was good you throw the buffalo sauce on it yeah it was great yeah yeah yeah yeah that meat lovers was oh divine oh my god so many meats yeah anyone else have a question what did you think about the car ride home that That was something, right? Yeah, it was a good crew. It was a good crew. Who was your crew? It was Zoopy, Fasoli Shotgun, and me and Connor in the back.

What did you guys talk about? Growing out. You know, just work stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about work. My crew was better ride home. Titus, Tate, Danny Conrad.

Who can't field? No. can't feel at all no he and goldfinger goldfinger i don't get it's crazy i had to put him on counting duty because i couldn't watch him i was like he's going to get hurt not by getting hit by a ball but like just by standing yeah Nick what did you say he had long shins that's what there's a theory online that he has his shins are too long yeah he walks like he's on stilts yeah he does

at all times did he grow up fatherless I don't know that's the only yeah he does throw that way he up fatherless? I don't know. That's the only... Yeah, he does throw that one. He throws fatherless. You do know when you see someone who throws fatherless. And then guys with two dads are constantly playing catch.

Anything else you know from last night? Good time. Had a fun time. Cool. All right, man. Yeah, thanks. Cool. You've been accused of conversation baiting.

Yeah, well, okay. This is bullshit. What happened was, after most of the sports, I walked into the gambling cave, and I just kind of sauntered in, I guess. And I guess the pacing of how I walked into the room was like, everyone please acknowledge me, is what people were saying. They said I was doing a bit of a mincey impression yeah getting attention so i kept just going in and out of the gambling got it so or do you think your conversation bidding how many conversations i'm not trying to

how many conversations have you had about last night like even like brief ones just like a yeah yeah yeah like did you see my dingers that i've initiated yeah how many times i haven't i don't think i've initiated like any of them but have you been lingering in spots you're not typically in no no i feel like i'm at my desk in the studio and then around the game the women's bathroom was a little yeah did you see my dingers y'all need to get a load of this well i applied for the women's bathroom attendant job on LinkedIn. There it is. Yeah.

Now that I think about it, it was weird that you were standing right by the stairwell underneath the exit sign. You're like, exit? Anyone see some exit below for that night? Huh. Okay. Are you going to frame the metrics of the one homer you hit that would have been out and four eight there was one that he hit that would have been out in every major league ballpark off a 30 mile an hour pitches yeah crazy yeah yeah that was i might have to right like that's

like that's so cool i had someone just tweet at me be like is this like a power lifter lifting a lot of weight oh i was like here was the other here was the other uh not rumor but uh guests going around in the dugout when you were up were you were you really skinny and short in high school yeah i was a runt okay he was very white socks no but white socks he somehow nailed it he's like he looks like a kid who didn't put on weight till after college yeah i put on probably like 30 35 he nailed it. He's like, he looks like a kid who didn't put on weight until after college. Yeah, I put on probably like 30, 35 pounds. Yeah, he nailed it. He's like, he should be like All-State,

but I bet you he didn't put on weight until after college. I'm like, what? It's the only thing White Sox Dave said all night. He nailed it. Dave scouted you. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was a hell of a performance.

Your conversation baited us into saying that. Yeah, thank you guys. Yeah. Yeah. All right, thank you, Ivo. Go do your laps around the office. Where should I go? I guess go 400 and talk

to all the interns. Go to Mincy. Okay. I'm also going to dip out too. I got to take care of some stuff before. Go watch Family Guy, please. Are you just going to go

jerk off to some green? No, no, no, no. I'll watch Family Guy too. Okay. Can you open these windows and see if it works? If it's too loud? Yeah. Yeah. I'll try. All right, let me do the D see if it works, if it's too loud. Yeah.

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This was like the... I mean, this... Walking in today... Yeah, it was terrifying. I know they're doing a stream with it. Can we just go play on it real quick? Yeah, we can play. I want to see someone jump on it. Yeah, go.

Who wants to go jump with me? I'll fight you. No, fight. Yeah, fight. Yeah. I'll fight each other. I don't really want to fight you. No, you got to fight each other.

We got to fight now. Go fight each other. Let off some steam, Brando. I don't want to do this. I just stood up now. I don't really want to fight you. No, you got to fight each other. We got to fight now. Go fight each other. Let off some steam, Brando. I don't want to do this. I just stood up now. I don't want to do this. Yeah, your arms are hot. You promised not to hit me in the face, right?

I don't know. This hurts. It looks so fun, but I'm so sore. We're all like an NCAA. We all have like severe risk injury right now. Our whole bodies are just like red. I'm good. If anyone gets that right.

You podcasted for two hours of anus, two hours of yak, and six hours on stream? Yeah, but I... Ten hours? I loved a yap, man. I would have been doing that... Whoa! Oh, shit. Brandon's gonna get hurt again. Professional yap. After jumping over the thing tickling yesterday? Two days ago? Oh, yeah.

Brandon will get hurt like bad. Is Titus putting on the helmet? Yeah, what a pussy. He's arguing about something. He's arguing about the helmet. Oh, he's got a big head. Yeah, standing in front of the $13,000 camera to film it on the phone. Perfect.

So are those little things? Oh, they're they're wobbly too i thought those would be for some reason solid oh oh shit oh he's got the goofy legs there's no way very wobbly i'm gonna call it now i don't think brandon will be able to stand on the red no i don't think so either yeah that's a lot of core strength for a guy oh he's struggling just yeah i don't think He can't even get the helmet on. Right. Oh, boy. One-nothing. Yep.

Right in the jungle. Oh. Come on. Come on, Brandon. Get up. Get up. Come on, Brandon. Oh, he called timeout. Timeout.

That was a good use of his timeout. Come on, buddy. Come on. Come on. Come on. Just that other foot. Yes. Now lift that.

Yeah. And I'm in. Oh, we're in position. Oh, no. Here we go. Oh, he's. Yep. Mo Moog get out there and give Titus an actual chance to fight someone like Brandon's hurt Paige just texted me and said there is a chiropractor

here if anyone needs to get chiropracted what would a chiropractor do to you paralyze me okay it wouldn't go well oh yeah he can't even stay up there oh man

oh what are they saying he's calling somebody out Nick he's calling you out he's calling you out. Nick, he's calling you out. Me? He's calling you out, Nick. You can joust, Nick. There he goes. Yeah, so we have a stream coming up on the Viva La Stool channel after this. Cars.com.

It's to see who wins the Cars.com parking spot. And it is a great parking spot. It's the best parking spot. The most ideal. Well, I have the best parking spot. But it's the second best parkingcom parking spot. And it is a great parking spot. It's the best parking spot. The most ideal. Well, I have the best parking spot, but it's the second best. Yeah. It's the second best parking spot for sure.

Maybe, oh, what if I won? I'd argue Jerry has the best parking spot. Yeah, Jerry just parks in the handicapped spot. What if I won, though, and I had two parking spots? Nobody could park there? Yeah. What if you just set up some beach chairs in it?

Just went out there to hang out? They're balancing oh oh nick wow yeah drop the elbow yes all right chay let's go it's hard there they go harder than than well i'm not i might retire athletically yeah we can talk about that it looks it looks so fun and then you're like i want to go play out there yeah and my mind said i do too and then i stood up and was like this is a bad idea now doing what they're doing is more fun than what we did yeah yeah

playing well they're just playing grab ass literally grab ass should they turn what's chay doing oh my god it's more grab ass no you're not gonna be able to do that better get out of there okay nope nope nope okay is this something you'd like to do if you had vertebrae? Yeah. I miss moving around. What's Che doing?

This is part of the transition. Yeah, this Che. Laying your ass on somebody's face and just. There we go. I want to say my money's on Big Cat, but... Headgear's probably unnecessary. Yeah, I don't know that I... Looked cool, I guess.

Not really that cool, though. It's really hard to stand on that little knob, huh? It actually is. It's been so long. I don't know if the fighting parts is fun. It's just being on the big inflatable. I don't know if Big Cass should get credit for that. No, he lost.

That's an L for Big Cass. Nick domed me. He what you? He domed me. Oh, yeah. Ragdoll. Your body's sore and broken. Did Chase do a cross chop?

Yep. I think it's fun. Fun as fuck. Fun. It's really fun. Chase cross chopped you After you left I'm not gonna be able To catch my breath

The rest of the show Yeah We're old Some of us are Yeah Getting that haircut zone And you're like Alright

I'm just gonna wear a hat for the next two weeks I'm in it right now yeah bad my whole life it's so lazy as fuck are we all hat

oh Brandon's the only non-hat I have luscious flowing locks oh you don't do hats can't wear them not at all your ears

head's too big and the ears are misshapen yep yep look like a car coming down the road with the doors open. They're fighting about new chairs in the New York office? What? Why do they get chairs at all?

Make them stand. Oh. What's going on with their chair situation, though? I don't know. I just see, you can see Dave just tweeted that new chairs are not in the budget. Who wants new chairs? This is embarrassing. Yeah, you got to get yourself together, bro.

I don't know. Or replacing the chairs in the gambling cave? Seems like a waste of money. No. I don't know. Or replacing the chairs in the gambling cave? Seems like a waste of money. No one's mad. That's why I was like, why can't we? Because this is what happens is I go to this meeting to try to get good stuff for this office. Which we need. And all I've heard is how much the people who sit in the gambling cave for like 12 hours a day hate those chairs.

Yeah, that's why I was like, there could be a compromise. Right, so I mentioned, I said, hey, the people who sit in the gambling cave all the time have mentioned that they hate those chairs and they want more comfortable chairs with chargers and cup holders. And they said, great, we'll get new chairs. I walked in this morning and multiple people tried to rip my head off for trying to get new chairs. That's very sad to hear. Who ripped your head off? No one. So, some people do want.

Just meet Phil. Just meet Phil. Yeah, meet Phil. So, some people do want me. I like that Dave just said no new chairs are in the budget. That's brutal. Why would Mink Phil be against a chair change? Maybe he likes them. I don't know. I don't know. I do love those. You could start any video of Tensions.

If it says Tensions in New York office, it's Nate Clemmer, Meek Phelan. It's Nate shrugging. But I can't stop watching them. They're all like I have to watch when they're on camera. Well, Tensions is a great word to start a tweet with. Yeah. Because that gets my interest up immediately. Every time. That wasn't even Tensions really i got click might have been eight like one tension tensions only arise they never subside no they don't yeah you never

hear of tensions tensions tensions are tensions are high yeah tensions are never cooling off tensions have been high for a while. Since the dawn of time. Yeah, that's true. What do you think the chillest year was? Really good question. That's a great question. The chillest year. The chillest year.

How long were they supposed to be in the Garden of Eden? Are we counting humans or before? We're just doing America. 1998. I'm going like late 50s. 1998 feels good. MJ. 1957.

Were we dropping bombs on Kosovo? The chillest year for us or for everyone? That wasn't us, was it? Were we fucking Kosovo? When was the Korean War, Kate? Yeah, we were dabbling. Are you talking humanity or America? I'm saying late 50s.

When there was no wars. Dude, how could it be late 50s? That was fucking peak tension for nuclear war. Yeah, the Cold War was like 20 years ago. I don't think that was the peak, was it i mean it was it was also realized starting to peak that's kind of a bitch war though that's kind of a for civil rights yeah that's true um i feel like space race would have been cool yeah but we were in vietnam in the space race was cold was it cold you know what 2000 might have been a pretty chill year because you got over the tension. You had the president thing.

What is it? The hanging chads. Oh, Florida. What about, this sounds crazy, but like, was 2001 before? No, because you had something big. What did we say? Dale Earnhardt. Dale Earnhardt died in February, yeah.

I say 1996. It was that great blizzard. We all had so much fun out in the snow. A big blizzard. I had an Olympics. USA. A bomb in the snow. A big blizzard. I had an Olympics. A bomb at the Olympics. But that wasn't... Did anyone die?

That was also an election year. I was born in 96. That wasn't a stressful election. I feel like overall, 96 was good. I think you gotta figure out what was the best year in the stock market and then work our way back. That's in the 80s, right? But the 90s had a hot ticket time, too. I think you gotta figure out like what was the best year in the stock market and then work our way back. That's in the 80s right? But the 90s had like a hot ticket time too

I think it was 96. The internet 80s was safe. Alright let's focus on these late 90s. Oh cocaine in the 80s. 96 was what'd you just disallow there's a bombing at the fucking. Oh right. Well there's gonna be something bad every year. Yeah but I know 97 Princess Di died. A bombing at

a big event is a key tension. All right. What went wrong in 98? 98. What was Oklahoma City? McGuire Sosa. That was bad. McGuire Sosa.

Oh. Summer of 98 was great. MJ's final year was 98. Oh. Stone Cold is popping. Was that Jurassic Park? No, that's 93. The Rock, Stone Cold.

98's Armageddon and Saving Private Ryan. Oh, that's blockbuster. 98 was pretty good. 98 might have been the chillest year. Britney Spears is in the music. Yeah. We were chilling in 98. It was boy band was going, MTV.

We didn't know there was pedophiles involved in that yet. Yeah, that was nice. Jeff Epstein was still a financier. First year of the BCS, Tennessee. Economy was good. Good economy. Strong. Real strong.

Style was fun. Oh, tech was coming. Oh, is that like Pets.com? What was Pets.com? eBay. Yeah. Ask Jeeves. When did the tech bubble burst?

Oh, Jeeves, that motherfucker. 98, you could say your screensaver to Bill Gates has made this much money since my computer went idle. And then it just like keep counting up. Really? I was always never had that screen. I was labyrinth or pipes. Oh, you did the pipes.

I think AOL was dominating. Yeah. Dot com bursted in 2000 so that we were in a good time. 98, 99, 2000 might be around. That was it. That's pretty chill. I'm thinking 2014. Does right now suck?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Does it suck right now? Donald Trump almost got assassinated. Yeah. Yeah. Tensions are as high as possible. It's not chill right now.

The Republican National Convention was yesterday. No, it's this week. It's like a whole week, yeah. But the world got introduced to baby dog yesterday. I've been seeing baby Dog my whole life. Wait. What's Baby Dog? Jim Justice, the governor of West Virginia,

takes Baby Dog with him everywhere. TJ, I sent you the clip. Not a big justice. Jim Justice. He's pretty big. Looks like the bad guy from Monsters, Inc. We become totally unhinged if Donald Trump is not elected In November

That's a huge suit He brings him everywhere like that That was awesome Baby Dog's there Baby Dog is the most famous person in West Virginia I love Baby Dog That's just my baby dog I don't but

I heard that song the other day That's just my baby daddy. Can you play five seconds of it, TJ, without us getting in trouble? Because it's just repeated over and over. It's the worst song. Okay, no, then don't. Luke, you gave me a plastic burn, man. All right, top songs.

You did it to yourself. I did. Top songs in 98. Oh, wait. Oh, it's going to be the Celine Dion song. My heart will go on. Yeah, was that Titanic? No, that wasn't wait. Oh, it's going to be the Celine Dion song, I bet. My heart will go on. Yeah, was that Titanic? No, that wasn't Titanic.

I'm going to be on it that way. Titanic came out December 97, and 98, the song just stayed on the one for us. Oh, this is chill. The Boy Is Mine, Brandy and Monica, You're Still the One, Schneider. Oh, yeah. Great song. Yes. Truly, Madly, Deeply.

Savage Garden. Savage Garden. Me and Brandy listened to that loud on the way up. Baby One More Time. I'm going to have to tell everybody that. Candle in the Wind. Well, that was a little runoff from Diana. Princess Die.

We'd already gotten over that. How's It Gonna Be, Third Eye Blind. My Heart Will Gone was 13. Getting Jiggy With It. Oh, that's chill as it gets. That was as chill as it gets. I think South Park is maybe the hottest thing on TV. It's close.

Seinfeld ends in 98. Seinfeld. Tub Thumping. Chumbawamba. Probably their best song. It's my favorite of theirs for sure. Sex and Candy. Mook, what's your earliest memory?

Yeah, so 98 was Titanic. Titanic, Armageddon saving private ryan there's something about mary the water boy show you good mookie yeah goodwill hunting this is the truman show this is a fucking good these are all good we got games don't like bum you out it was also the year of the furby and the tamagotchi search like like... For me, those two were... Wars and shit popping off in 1998. I think it was pretty good. I think it might have been Kosovo, but... If that's...

I mean, there's going to be a war in every year. All right, yeah. Kosovo, ethnic Albanians fought against the government of Yugoslavia, conflict gained international attention, was eventually resolved with the intervention of NATO. Search ethnic cleansing 1998

and see if there are any results. Oh, but you know what happened in 98? Ireland was like, let's stop beefing and blowing each other up for a minute. The Good Friday Agreement. Why did she take hands like that, though? That's an Irish hand. Oh, she teached her talk. Yeah.

Dave just sent out a company email about Connor Griffin. Nuh-uh. Oh, no. No. Yes. Oh, no. He really did. Oh, no. Anxiety can't handle it. Oh. He really did. Oh, no.

My anxiety can't handle it. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, no. Wait, let's get Connor back in here. Don't abuse company email distribution. Oh, now I feel bad. Thank you. Oh, no.

Connor, get back in here. Oh, no. Oh. Uh-huh. Oh, no. Hopefully he hasn't seen. That's tough. That is tough.

Oh, he's going to be freaking out. Wait, is Dave on that email? He must be. Oh, I feel really bad. Because if that were me, I would be afraid. Oh, no. I told you not to, man. Yeah, get a ball.

You're going to need it. I heard laughing out there. Yeah. Hey, man. Hey. He already hates me. Like, I know he doesn't like me, so it's fine. Why doesn't he like you?

Should I call him and you can apologize? Yeah, whatever is good for the show, I'll do. Oh, no, you can't answer that way. I'm not sending any more emails, that's for sure. Send an email apologizing. No, I'm not. Reply all. Reply all.

Reply all. I didn't get that email. That's the content. I'm not on that email chain. Do you want me to reply all and be like, but did you like the titties? He can be mad, but you know he probably smirked. Yeah, like, hey, listen, I got it. No more company emails, but at least say the titties.

We'll bang it. Yeah, I don't know. Megan came up to me, and she was like, like i swear to god i'm not fucking with you dave legit just send an email to everybody and i was like okay well i i figured it was gonna happen i figured he was gonna see it at some point but uh yeah i wish i could watch him open it um because you know like it was a very inappropriate email it could have possibly I don't know what to do. Connor. The guy whose fault it is is right here.

No, I'm not mad at Nick. Nick and KB I'm not mad at because it was for the stream. And then we told you don't actually do it. No, you didn't. You didn't do that much convincing, did you? How much convincing did you really need? My thing is.

You wanted people to see it. No, I didn't. If I am with funny people who have been here for a long time. I know, Nick, you've only been here for a year. But that's still a lot. That's true. If they tell me to do something, I'm just going to run with it. We didn't tell you.

We suggested. Yeah. It's all on camera. So I'll give you Dave's number. You call him. I can't do that. You just – I'm not funny.

No, he doesn't think you're funny. No, no, no. Fuck me. That's crazy. If I did it off of you. No, I'm not funny. If I did it off of your phone. If I did it off of your phone.

Yes. If it was all – I don't want to have his off of your phone. If I did it off of your phone. Yes. If it was all of you. I don't want to have his number on my phone. Because then that opens up a whole other can of worms. What does that mean? What do you mean? You can text him? No.

No, no. Because then he's like, why are you giving Connor my number? I would much rather have it be off of somebody else's phone who has his number. Can you just text him? Send his phone number to the entire company that's true a mass email I don't know if I got the email did I get that email you might not have there are different email chains I'm not on the content

one I'm just on Chicago one it looked very click spammy when he sent his email yeah his phone number to all of us man my phone's blowing up right now too I gotta see what yeah I'd be dave uh oh no it's mad dog laughing at me um yeah no i i don't know like i guess open apology right now to dave um again it was for the stream i think we need to call him i think we do i think you do need to talk to him. Would it make you feel better if he did admit that the meme was?

I think you got to nip this in the bud. Yeah, I'll talk to him. If we want to get him on Zoom, I don't know. I think FaceTime, so it's more intimate. He doesn't pick up FaceTimes. He's not going to do a Zoom either. Oh, God. Are we going to let him know that we're live? Okay, yeah.

He might be on his boat. Captain Dave. Y'all need to get a load of these. I would hate to be in your shoes. Hey. Hello? Did that go to voicemail? Couldn't tell.

Now we wait. That's not a good sign. Now we wait. Maybe he's mad. I was fine before. He's pacing around the house right now. You've got him not even answering Big Cat because Big Cat's associated with you. I was fine before Big Cat just called, but the tension of waiting for him to pick up, now I'm actually anxious.

But, you know, I know he already doesn't like me. It's fine. Why do you say that? You keep saying that. Well, there was a whole thing last year with the sixers and the celtics and it was all now that's different hate that's different that's way different than this call it well he called me an idiot on the on the show yeah i don't know i also don't know like is this the first time he's ever actually like known my name

that's good i I guess, yeah. He'll confuse you with Kyle. Yeah, exactly. Do you think if we sent him a picture... Oh, he spelled it wrong. He spelled it wrong. That means he knows your name. But you're the Lego Titties guy now. You are the Lego Titties guy.

That's not the worst thing. Could we send Dave a picture of all of our red-headed men and have him draw lines? That would be incredible. Match the name to the face. He might get Liam. I think he knows you. He calls me Kyle every time he sees me. Like after

they bet on some team that Kyle's brother was on and I walked by Dave in the office and he goes, you fucking blew it for us last night. I was like, dude, that's why that wasn't me. I call Kyle Mook a lot. It's fair. Same hair. You look very similar yeah i just texted him i said connor wants to apologize okay

let's see i'll stick around are you more anxious than you were yesterday no yesterday i was really really anxious i i was but now the boss man knows yeah but this all wouldn't be happening if you hadn't sent that goddamn email I was feeling terrible. But now the big boss man knows. Yeah, but... This all wouldn't be happening if you hadn't sent that goddamn email. Well, it actually goes further back if he wasn't attracted to Lego Titty. Yeah. That's really the main culprit here. You might need to go to, like, sex rehab.

That's a possibility, Big Guy. I don't think you're going to get the Lego titty love out of this guy. Yeah. Also, a sane mind sees that and just chuckles and moves on. But you save it to your phone and you want to show Nick and all that. What if we had to just send Connor to like conversion camp? But it was it was converting him to like real women. Yeah.

That tweet. Also, I was not expecting to get as much attention as it did. Like that, I thought people were going to be like, what the fuck is this? Okay, whatever, move on. But no, people really liked that. Some people saw it. Yeah. Thank you, Nick.

Well, no, I didn't even tag Dave in it. You were the one that said on air, don't tag Dave. No, no, no, no, no. And then I was like, please don't. I said everybody was already tagging Dave in it, and they were tagging on Name Show. And then I thought about it, and I said I probably shouldn't have just said that on air because then more people are going to do it. Wait, what was the tweet? Nick tweeted that picture out, and he was like, this was really unnecessary to send out to the internet.

I didn't say it was unnecessary. I was asking you if it was necessary. Yes, yeah. And so people saw that. I have all my bases covered. And people were tagging, you know, at stool Presidente, and they're doing, oh, this is definitely going to be talked about on a name show because the company email is being brought up. It will be talked about on a name show. Yeah, I guess I'll be ready.

Should I just stick around here until he calls back? Yeah, probably. He has read receipts on it. he didn't read it yet so he's probably on his boat oh okay so then yeah should i should i go back to my desk go back to your desk all right well i'll come back in if i have to talk to boss man but um until then thanks i will see you guys next time what are you thanking me for i love being on the show yeah but you should be mad at me no i'm not mad at you at all. No, because at the end of the day,

we were trying to fill fucking six hours of airtime, and that was part of it, and you guys had a funny idea on the fly, and we just ran with the idea. So what's the Connor Griffin sweet spot in time broadcasting that Lego titties won't come up? Like if we asked you to do a three-hour broadcast, would you not bring up Lego titties?

Probably about like 45 minutes. Okay, 45 minutes. We just got to keep them under 45 minutes and Lego titties won't be brought up. When I do this stream later, I promise I will not bring up Lego titties because it's going to be short. All right.

Wait, he's free. Send me the Zoom. Oh, no. uh send me the send me the zoom oh no you just finished pizza all right yeah tj send me the zoom this is gonna go bad for me no it's gonna go great dude do good yeah i guess i also don't know if he's aware of the full context i doubt it he was watching the stream you know know what? That's a good idea. You should try to explain the context. Yes. Instead of apologizing. I'm going to apologize. Go with context first.

Alright. TJ, shoot me the zoom link. I'm a little anxious. Hang in the pocket, Connor. It's like the first time in a long time someone's in the hot seat and I didn't cause it for them. It's kind of fun watching. Nick caused it. I have nothing to do with this.

I fear that I'll be addicted to this. It is addictive. As someone who struggles with this addiction, it is very addicting. Just getting other people into pickles and then watching them wriggle around what would you do in his shoes uh mook uh that's the only interaction i've had with dave just don't nod your head while he's talking yeah wait did he call you out on that yeah i was like just nodding along to a conversation, and he was like, what the fuck are you doing? Didn't you also say, like, I appreciate that full body?

Yeah, completely out of context. Dave was like, yeah, like, you're in production and social, and if you do stand-up, you want to be in front of camera. And, like, I was so, like, off kilter. I was just like, yeah, I appreciate that full body. And, like, just word vomit. Full body? I called him full body and just word vomit. Full body? I called him full body.

Oh, there he is. Dave. Yeah. We got Connor here. Hey, Dave. Hey. How's it going? Get to the point.

Got you. I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. It was part of the stream. Obviously, I know. I don't care. That makes no difference to me i know i and trust me i i definitely i felt terrible about it i think it was obviously wrong in hindsight we were trying to do it for a bit because we were trying to fill up airtime

and yes i recognize now that it could definitely cause a lot of problems that it's it's a bad standard and that's exactly why no shit i know not to not to use the company distribution list for a bit i yes i am aware and we were trying to fill time but it was it was a dumb idea we were just trying to go along with an idea that popped up nick and kb and i were kind of yeah i i kyle and i pressured him into doing this dave i got a question for you this apology is not accepted at all it's been a bad apology. Okay. Let me try a different angle because I know Connor doesn't want to ask this, but I'll ask you for Connor.

Did you at least think that the Lego titties were hot? No, I didn't even know. So many people tagged me in it, and I didn't understand what was going on. I just thought it was very stupid. So there was this meme popped up. We were talking about it during the show. I don't care. It was a KB and I pressuring. Hey, idiot.

Don't use a company distribution list, which you probably don't know a decent amount of people who are even on it, to send bits. How about that? Correct. And it was never intended to be. So just shut up and leave it at that don't be like bit they got pressured into it it's like you don't i don't even know how you have the access to do that

to be honest which it's like a whole different thing that again i'll have to talk to pete why people like you have the access to do that bail out connor bail out yeah just bail out say sorry say the connection yeah i i truly am sorry sorry. I felt terrible about it in the moment. I feel terrible about it today. What do you mean you felt terrible about it? Trying to bail out. I felt bad because that's... If I didn't send an email, were you going to mention anything?

Hit the full body. Yeah, no, I... So you did the apology when you get caught and someone's like, hey, asshole, don't do that because i didn't hear anything from you till five minutes ago five minutes after i sent the email be like hey don't use company distribution list with the entire company on it for bits i i did apologize to page yesterday and i should have yes apologize to other people in the process because yes i don't know yeah because page had gotten on us the other day about... Right. So just the one person offended.

Just say you'll never do it again. Exactly. Trust me, I will never do it again, and I will never send that... I do not trust you. Yeah. I don't blame you for not trusting me. You have no common sense.

But, Dave, just to circle back real quick, the Lego titties. Yeah, yeah. Funny meme. They were kind of hot. It's a funny meme, too. Funny meme. They were kind of hot. Dave, what are you doing?

Are you doing pizza right now? Yes. How's the boat doing? Boat's good right now. I mean, they said it was not my my doing nobody in the world could have avoided what happened to me how far out were you when you got saved i was way out there but you also said you were the only person who's ever hit a flare in the harbor it's a big harbor harbor. Nantucket Harbor is gigantic. It's one of the foremost

shipping harbors in the country. It's gigantic. Were you ever thinking about swimming back? I said this in an interview. I have made quite a stink about don't give up the ship flags and whatnot being my motto.

So to jump off the ship would have put me in a bind. Was it just you and your mom? No, I was the only person on the boat. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God, I didn't realize that. I was alone. Yeah, I was alone.

Davey Flares. That's why I shot the flare. Did you have backup flares now? Because we've got to make sure you've got backup flares. There were four flares that come, four bullets in the flare gun. I was, no joke, they have these things like, if you see them sparkle and you wave them, I was trying to get that thing going too.

Unbelievable, Captain Davey. All right, thank you, Dave, for joining. I'll make sure Connor never does that again. I won't pressure him into doing that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, don't pressure him into shooting somebody in the brain, I guess.

I mean, he can't think for himself. So don't pressure him into anything. All right. See you, Dave. Thanks. Bye. That went well. Yeah, I thought that went well.

I thought that was as good as it could possibly go. He really likes you. I think he really likes you. Yeah, I thought that went well. I thought that was as good as it could possibly go. He really likes you. I think he really likes you. Yeah, that was tough. Did anyone else get the vibe that he liked you? I think he did. Because I feel like he was kind of into the titties. He was changing the subject. Yeah.

He did. It was clear that he was into the titties. He literally said funny meme. He said that at one point. Maybe the problem with that email is it was too hot. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah.

It bricked him up. I just, like... I'll say I'm sorry, but then he's like, oh, I don't accept the apology. So I'm like, well, what am I... I don't know what else to say. Don't apologize. And then, yeah. Say sorry for apologizing. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, that's what you have to do. I got you. I got him talking about his boat, Dave. He was smiling. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that. We're good. We're back.

I did not expect that to go well at all. So I'm fine with how that went. But at the same time... Yeah, you're on his radar that. We're good. We're back. I did not expect that to go well at all, so I'm fine with how that went. Yeah, you're on his radar now. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Hey, what a day, you know? Yeah. I guess we're all right.

Nick, how are you feeling? Pretty bad. Well, Nick, this is the part of it that you got to, this is the hard part. What do you do in this situation? I fight through. Okay. No, I –

Just fight through it and then maybe like – I don't think I'll ever be able to do that again. I thought it was fun loving. I did. Yeah. Well, listen, my main thing is everybody here in Chicago knows it was a joke. I think a lot of people, if not everybody, recognizes the context of it. I don't think anybody looks at me differently today out here, as long as everybody.

Oh, I definitely look at you differently. Okay. 100%. Not very much differently, but a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you had it in your food already. It was a big sponsored event. And, you know, there were five hours to fill.

I was the bad guy. Yeah. Can I ask a question, Big Cat? Yeah. Can I ask a question, Big Cat? Yeah. Is this just for Connor Griffin going forward, or can any of us and Lego Titties moving forward to the Chicago? Maybe you should give it a try. Should we have a Lego Titty thread, like a group? Yeah.

If I find a Lego Titties meme and it's a banger, I would hate for Connor's misstep to keep me from sharing it. Yeah. Is this just a group text thing now? Here's what we'll do. Here's the solution to all of this. I think this will solve all of the problems. We've got to talk to Pete,

and we've got to start a Barstool Lego titties email. So you can opt in. It's a safe space for everyone who wants the Lego titties. Do we put Dave on that email? I think he's got to at least look at it. The guy's clearly horny for Lego titties. You saw that. We can CC Dave for sure.

Should we send a personal email to Dave first? I'm thinking about sending this to the company. Can I do it? Here are the Lego titties. Probably not. Yeah. Those were hot Lego titties. That's fun.

They were fucking hot Lego titties. Connor, I'm sorry. You don't have to apologize no don't no let's like obviously i'm not in content but when i am on content stream that was certainly content like it made it funny you are in content sometimes you're the hammer sometimes you're the nail and yeah like dade doesn't know how to use either of those but it connor would have never done this on his own accord this is when i should be taking the brunt of this no no i mean i would have never been depraved enough to save that image correct that's what i'm saying the the it starts with connor being a freak no no they be getting off easy as fuck too yeah yeah kb no he fled because i i'll i'll back

you up here on this part kb is the number one like if he tells you do something you do immediately every time oh there's a remote control car i know it's so fun but at the end of the day yeah it's on me no no no it's on us this was a group thing and whatever happens to you i will rudy and give my jersey as well thank you as long as i still have a job i'm good you're not allowed to do that fuck no and i just have to watch him drown if dave was like hey connor you're fired and you were like i'm quitting too i'd be like no you're not nick but then i right at the end i tried to squeeze in one more i pressured him and then he was like yeah but then it it turned into Connor shooting somebody in the head. Yeah, which he's been known to do.

Yeah, again. You're good, Connor. I haven't met many. I haven't had many interactions with Dave, whereas I see you guys every single day. So as long as you guys obviously still think I'm good, then I'm good. That was actually, Brandon and I were talking about it last night. Those events that we do, it is so awesome because it's like the whole Chicago office is out there, and we're all pulling in the same direction. It's just fun.

Yeah. Everyone's kind of on the same team, and it's just great vibes, creating great memories. I had a great time. This does not drag it down for one bit. I actually believe it because he's psycho. He's got a little chay to him. Yeah, he's a weird brain where this won't affect

him. Doesn't take a lot of damage. Yeah, he will go to bed at night being like, as long as the guy's here like me. I see Dave twice a year, three times a year. I'm going to help you get out of this pickle with Dave. That's fine. I'm going to write up and we're going to figure this out. Okay. Might make it worse. Oh yeah, it will, yeah. We'll definitely make it. Yeah

One last question. Yeah, is that the only set of Lego titties you have saved on your that's the only one Is that the only set of Lego titties you've seen? No, I Think the best way to get Connor out of this is to get somebody else in the crosshairs. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon? No. You're his mentor.

Football season's coming up. I'll be there plenty. Yeah, that's true. That's Brandon hunting season. Dave's got to control the population. He puts on his Elmer Fudd hat and he's just walking around. I'm hunting for Brandon. Give me a month and a half left of this uh did you tell dave to send that email no oh i did not no

no in fact i will send i will send david text later being like, Connor's a fucking idiot. Oh no. Like, I don't know what that guy was doing. No, I did not. I don't think he's actually mad. I mean, he's, he's mad,

but it's not like, that's not real Dave mad. That's more like you guys are idiots. He's not a bit guy. Yeah. Well, if he's in, like,

if you're outside of the, that bit, it is a confusing thing to receive. Like, if you's in, like, if you're outside of that bit, it is a confusing thing to receive. Like, if you have no context, that is a very confusing email to get. I'm just glad I was going to reply all with the Roblox cock I have. And I'm glad. No, that's a quick anger, Dave. That's not a long anger, Dave.

No, you talked to him. He was fine 30 seconds in. He was fine. We talked about Captain Daveyy which is such a funny story because he was he was definitely like 200 feet from shore what so he took it he took the boat out it broke down he unbuoyed and he and he didn't and he turned it on and it wouldn't work and he was just floating and then he hit the flare the flare is crazy coast guard come saved him and he he told the story he was like i was 30 miles out to sea and then he said that everyone all his neighbors were like no one's ever hit a flare in the harbor and also he said in the story

that a woman like came on to help, and she was in a rowboat. Oh. The water was probably, like, chest high. Yeah, so all the context clues show that he was, yeah, within, like, 200 feet of the shore. Oh, damn. Coast guard. Oh, man.

Good job drafting yesterday, boys. Oh, yeah. Thank you, everyone. I know the Yak fans probably hated that, but that is the thing that pays our bills. So we appreciate it. It was fun. Did it quickly.

It's going to be fun to monitor all year. Yeah, absolutely. What else we got on this list today? Oh, the Barstool Chicago guys stand up at the Laugh Factory. Yes. When is that? A week from tomorrow. 24th? 25th. Next Thursday. So they're all doing it?

All three are hosting. I think they're all going to be taking turns. Primo code Barstool Chicago. A little bit of money off, I believe. Mook, who do you think is going to do the best out of that crew? I think Eddie will be the most put together, but White Sox Dave might be the biggest spectacle. Okay.

I think we're underrating White Sox Dave doing stand-up. All right. He said he's been prepping. I'm very excited. Dave has the luxury of the crowd being primed for Dave. Dave has the luxury of he walks on stage and people are like, oh, here we go. Yeah, here we go.

Whereas Eddie and Chief are funny, but I think Dave has that extra factor. Yeah, Eddie might be super polished. Apparently he's done it before and hosted shows, so I think Eddie will be good and Dave's just going to be a monster. Chief is a good storyteller, so all three of them have their positives. Dave's negative is his positive, but all three have their positives. And hopefully we get Che on the lineup.

Yeah. Special appearance by Danny Conrad. Oh, hell no. Oh, man. Is he bringing the ventriloquist down me appearance by Danny Conrad. Oh, hell no. Oh, man. Is he bringing the ventriloquist down me? I have no idea. He should. Che, are you going to do it?

I had a potential schedule conflict, but that may have been freed up as of today. Can you give us one more topic off your list? No, no. Please, just one. Share a preface. You don't have to share the joke. Well, then this is going to get taken farther, and you guys are going to end it. No, no. Please, just one. Share a preface. You don't have to share the joke. Well, then this is going to get taken farther and you guys are going to end it. No, we would never.

That's not in our nature. We're straightforward guys. You guys don't do bits. What we say is what we mean. I was saying that in front of Connor to make him calm down. What he did was fucked up. Yeah. Great.

You want to text dave that's i was really uncomfortable i was pretty upset about it i think i think i'm back in he'll be yeah it's fun he'll be fine i like know how connor feels like not with the dave thing but with nick and kb pressuring you to do anything it's just like yeah but yours have turned out pretty good yeah and i've also started saying no to some of them. Of course, and we back off. You tell your mom you're a Muslim? We made it. That was not a good one.

At like 10 p.m. he woke her up out of bed and said, I converted to Islam. But that was good for career. That was a funny clip of Mook. I hope that's good for my career. It's probably not. No, definitely good. Having ADHD in the bathroom.

That's it. I don't want to go god do I want more pretty good wait well Che can we add you to the flyer then what happens when you have ADHD I will confirm with you tonight

what do you what happens when you have ADHD in the bathroom no no no come on no because then I'm burning everything and I'm not going to use it

so no maybe you'll have to buy tickets to find out I think I would buy a ticket to find out. Yeah. Yeah. Use promo code BarstoolChicago. You go in thinking you have to shit and then you get distracted and then you just piss?

It could be that. It could be something else. I think you nailed it. I wipe my ass till it bleeds. Yeah, wait. What? We'll have to find out. Yeah.

Maybe something about the stuff they put in the urinals to like the put like a soccer ball and like a goal and you have to piss the ball into the goal I finished why that's on the back of the urinal

my piss finished a urinal cake this past weekend whoa yeah boys congratulations that's so satisfying yeah

did you have to tell somebody I forgot about it I put it in my notes I was real drunk it was the best feeling ever you gotta film that i really pushed to like to like up the pressure towards yeah oh yeah have you you have to do it oh man i always get you were grunting good joke brandon what did you say i said I've never finished a urinal cake. I always get full. Pretty good.

Still got it. Wasn't as good as the second one. Still got it. Pretty, pretty good. That was pretty, pretty good. We were talking on Mostly Sports, trying to figure out what the next insane sporting event, company-wide, that we're going to have to do is. Do we have anything on the horizon?

And then there was jousting? And I saw jousting. Yeah. What record? What, like? And then there was jousting? And I saw jousting. What record? What like? Oh. Oh, like Jersey Jerry thing? I mean, they are so much fun when we do those.

Rethrow stream. We should do them. Yeah. Home run record. We were saying, I was joking that it would be very funny if Jerry had to break the rushing record. Oh, my God. That's funny. Yeah. and we just fucking tackled like that south park yeah one guy that lines up yeah we just like had all the interns be

the offensive line we're the defense and we just fucking punish yeah that's funny wasn't he going to do a stream of doing stuff until he tours acl yeah that was if t Watt tours ACL. Okay. Oh, God. God, Max is a linebacker. Just over, run it again. Run it again.

Last night was like therapeutic. Yeah. Like hitting a good ball just felt. You had the third longest home run behind Max and Ebon. Yeah, you can fucking rip. One thought I had from last night. So I hadn't held a baseball bat in my hands for 25 years, and then last night I was like, oh, wow, this has been a while.

I have an appreciation for Michael Jordan hitting 202, and was it double A? Yeah. Double A? Double A, yeah. For him to not touch a baseball bat and then hit professional pitching at 202, we look on that like it was –

Correct me if I'm wrong. Who are you comparing yourself to right now? I'm not comparing myself. No, no, no. You are wrong. I'm not comparing myself to Michael Jordan. Holding the bat, I was like, God damn, dude. I haven't held a baseball bat in forever.

I have no idea what to do with this thing. And this man hadn't held a baseball bat and then hit 202 and then everyone clowned him for it. And they're like, he fucking sucks. And I was like, dude, he hadn't touched a baseball bat and then hit 202, and then everyone clowned him for it. And they're like, he fucking sucks. And I was like, dude, he hadn't touched a baseball bat in ages. Yeah, he had three home runs, I think. Baseball's hard is what I'm saying. Baseball's hard as fuck.

Baseball's hard as fuck is what I'm saying. And, yeah, MJ, that's impressive. Yeah. It's actually impressive. Max had a car. Max had a car. Awesome car, and the guy was so cool about it i immediately went into dad mode i did laughing and i was like i'm gonna fucking have to pay for

this i was yelling at the kid in center fields stop celebrating yeah this guy's mad we don't need to be celebrating jerry's like he's got insurance i was like i feel like that doesn't they're not gonna believe the story yeah i feel like i i just was like i went and got my wallet and i was like all right how much cash do i have it's gonna suck big cat i had two moments last night where like i was reminded that we're in like way different tax brackets well just completely different i uh i brought leftover oh yeah i probably was pathetic wait what did you do i was i knew i had to fuel up before the stream so i brought leftover chicken and rice i saw him eating it before we left in the office

and so i was like i'm hungry and mook was like you want some of my chicken i was like dude you've been carrying that chicken around for four hours no it was like outside room temp chicken yeah and i was like walking around with it i had to fuel up i was getting my protein in and then the second one was the blizzards where you were like yeah it was like 400 bucks and i tipped 100 i had to i was just like well because that was i felt so bad about ordering 400 worth of blizzards at like eight o'clock when the store closes at nine they're like oh yeah they're about they probably have yeah I got an extra tip. I did the custom tip. How good were they though? It was one of the best purchases of your life.

They just hit perfectly. Hot. We were all just exhausted. Che, did you find the stain in your car? What? Kyle dropped his poke bowl in your car? No! I'll have to go check. What kind of psychopath opens up a poke bowl

yeah he's he he felt like i was shaming him because he opened i get i know he opened it and i was like oh something smells good uh and then he's like oh yeah yeah i mean poke and then he immediately put it away and he didn't open it again i don't think until we like we're about to pull up um so i thought it was gone. I'll check today. Yeah, look for his names. He did not mention that. Oh, jeez.

Also, pick out your mental gymnastics with the math. Oh, I fucked that up so bad. Because every time we get in these streams, you hit a point where the energy just starts to wane. And you can feel it. And I'm always like, I have to try to keep everyone locked in. And so I did like some quick math. It was like,

all we need is seven rounds of 30 home runs. And everyone was like, yeah, that's fucking doable. Like Hank even said, he's like, dude, we can do that.

I was like, yes, we can do that. And then I walked out and I, I, I actually took out my phone and did the math. And I was like, I, we can do that. And then I walked out and I, I, I actually took out my phone and did the math. And I was like, I was not even close. You were like halfway. And I just kept it from everyone. I was like, I'm not saying that would have been a real burst of bubble.

Yeah. No, not in math. In real time, I was calculating it out and I was like, I'm not saying, yeah, no, not a word, not a math guy. That's a fact. I, uh, I updated my hinge profile with me just hitting bombs. Oh, hell yes. I said that on the stream. I said that's going right to Hinge. Oh, it's already updated. The running eye black.

Oh, yeah. Eyes looked real blue. Yeah. It's a good night. Oh, Dave's calling. Dave's calling you? Oh. Yo.

Oh, hello? Hello? He's about to call you. Hello? Yo Hello Hello Did he butt dial you? Hello It's a butt dial Butt dial That means Connor's fired Yeah We actually have a code

If you ever butt dial That means someone has to get fired That's always the last person he talked about Dave doesn't like firing people So he's like this just will make it easier. Yeah. He got butt fired. Yeah.

Wow. It should be easier for all of us if I don't have to say the word. Yeah, hopefully Connor picks up on what's going on. And then he, yeah, nobody has to say anything to him. Right. So you should butt dial Connor now to make it official. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Can you purposely butt dial? I don't know. Could you call someone with your butt right now? I butt dialed Blattman this morning. What? I text him this morning. Well, I was like, that was accidental.

And I was texting him. Imagine what he could do with his ass. Oh. I bet you he could accidentally beat Angry Birds. He could probably hit the nuclear code. Oh, yeah. No, he texts back. What did he say with his ass he's accidentally

uh increased his 401k by 25 percent yeah i butt dialed shane gillis no what remember when we were on the cupcake team together he gave me his number that night yeah never intended to text him or call him because i just i just had his number and um i was at Sonic. Oh, no. And I was getting chili cheese tater tots and sweet tea, and I dropped my credit card into the other seat, and I bent over to get it. This is the fattest thing ever. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

And then what I did, I butted out it, and then as I was grabbing the phone, who did I call? I accidentally hit it and knocked it into the other floorboard. So I had to lean over and try to find it, and it was Shane Gillis. He never answered, but I – You get the voicemail from you that's just like – Oh, God damn it. Where are my tots?

Oh, no. Careful with the tots, Brandon. It's so easy to accidentally call somebody because if you save a number and then close out the contacts, it's right there. Oh, once you have kids, forget it. They grab your phone, and next thing you know. know yeah i might have to delete some numbers then yeah drop my phone at the sonic drive-in while i was getting my tater tots and it accidentally called you my bad did he respond ha ha ha ha ha that's ha fucking asshole never no wait five haas fours four no

that's oh no that's fine no threes is good. Threes is appropriate. Fours is too much. Were they spaced out? Haas? Individual Haas? Two and four. That would make him the joke. Dropped my phone at the Sonic Drive-In when I was getting my tater tots and it accidentally

called you. My bad. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Four Haas. No space. That's not funny, then. No space. Two and four Haas are bad.

Two's good. Three Haas is funny. Three Haas is perfect. Three Haas is... I'm actually laughing. Yeah, two is bad. Three haas is funny. Three haas is perfect. Three haas is I'm actually laughing. Yeah, two is bad. Ha ha is not. I think ha ha is good. No, ha ha is sarcastic.

One haas is bad. No, one haas you use to text someone where you're like, oh, wouldn't it be hilarious if you came on the show, ha? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Two and four are bad. Visually check it. Two. Yeah, I Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Two and four are bad. Visually check it.

Two, yeah. It looks fine. Two means I want this text message to end. Yes. You send two when you're like, okay, we're done. You close your phone. Three is let's keep going. Four is like I'm over-exaggerating because why would you text me?

All right, I'm going to send it to TJ and y'all. Four has never texted me again, actually. And y'all judge me. Look at it visually because it looks fine. I think it looks fine. Maybe you should call him and ask him about it. No, no. Do you have his number saved?

I think you should keep texting Shane Gillis until you get a free hot response. Yeah, all right. I took his name out of the... Oh, okay. Send him another text. Yeah, just reply to it and just be like, sorry about this again. No, don't listen to me.

Don't stop it, Nick's and then emphasize the initial ha ha ha he sent you just to remind him that it was funny i would i would die okay so that's too many haas too many haas too many haas i think that's fine i think that's genuine you know what that feels genuine no he was no because if you think he was laughing there's no chance he was talking to someone else he's like yeah i think i can make it yeah yeah i'll be there later i think he's laughing that brandon put an apostrophe in tots well i don't know why auto did that i didn't try to do that i have very good grammar because that's a plural tots yeah It wasn't. I didn't. Yeah. Yeah. I think it looks fine.

You just had a bunch of kids in your car named Tater? Yeah, Tater's tots. Oh, I was regrettably by myself, and I couldn't make it home in time for dinner, so I had to get me some pre-dinner tater tots. I've done that before. Pre-dinner? PDTs. PDTs. I get a lot of, oh, back in Jersey, we used to stop for pre-dinner tater tots

every day i've been i've been not working out yet but i'm working out enough to get to work out big cat got here this morning i was doing my walk i was getting my steps in you were was that awkward by the way that i stepped around you guys oh yeah sorry it's jason worth you were walking somebody around and i was just i couldn't stop walking jason worth was here yeah oh that's sick yeah he's a fucking horse yes doesn't he hit bombs in like men's leagues yeah kind of a he actually told the story on pmt a little bit that was one time but it was a bomb yeah nuke yeah yeah all right let's talk about lucy lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great. Lucy breakers are the only

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Free shipping. Lucy products are for adults only of legal age, and every order is age-verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get you some Lucy today. All right, TJ, you want to... So we have the cars.com thing coming up on Viva La Stool. I think Connor Griffin will be calling it.

Hopefully, he doesn't get pressured into anything. I won't be here. I'm leaving right after this. So you should pressure him or something. I need to plant the seed, yeah. Can you... Where's Hank? Oh, fuck.

The door's being closed. Suck. Hey, Hank. Hank! He can't hear us. Hey, Hank. Do you want me to get up and get him? No, we don't want you to move.

He's not going to take my call. Maybe he put his phone down. He must have put his phone down. He's playing with the car. He's playing with the car right now. Remember when... That's everybody's boss. You think the phone's in his pocket and he's just ignoring it?

Knock on the glass. Yeah, that's it. The ball's quiet. The ball's quiet. Quiet ball. Oh, no. It's trapped in here. Can't get out.

Quiet ball. Oh, there's... Is Plotman going to get Hank? Plotman might be reporting to Hank. Yeah, he did. With great speed. Yeah, that was a... That was a satire. Oh, it's a walk-up.

Oh, the jacket came off. Oh. Is he about to come whip our ass? All three of them. Yo, Hank. Hey, where'd your jacket go? Where's your phone? Yeah, we watched you take it off.

All right. So tell everyone what we're doing. All right. Cars.com. You guys have seen the spot outside. Yep. Best spot, probably, besides the one that no one else can park in. Well, no.

What's the other one? Jerry's Handicap spot. Oh, Jerry's spot. Oh, my spot. Your spot. What do you mean no one else can park in. Well, no. What's the other one? Jerry's Handicap spot. Oh, Jerry's spot. Oh, my spot. Your spot. What do you mean no one else can park in there? Well, it's unspoken. Not anymore.

Steven, is that my spot? It's spoken. The one that you park in is your spot. What happens? Have you been thinking you've been getting lucky every morning? I have a legitimate sign for you if you want to put that up. No, I do not. What if I pulled up in your spot? i have i have a i have a legitimate sign for you if you want to put that up no i do not i'm not what if i pulled up in your spot you don't have a car

what's the protocol when big cat's out of town i almost parked we're buying a moped i parked in that spot when he's out of town i almost did it but i couldn't do it i was scared that he would like show up unexpectedly the only time someone parked in that spot was when dave was trying to send a message because it was when i had j Jerry as my caddy for the mini golf, and I showed up after him, and he parked in that spot. He was mad at me. Yeah, I think if you weren't here, I would park there, but it's somewhat unspoken. Jerry's spot is the best spot.

Yeah, Jerry might get a boot on that one day. Who would patrol this? Who knows? Yeah. So cars.com, second best spot or the best unspoken for spot we're gonna do a race car uh rc car a little obstacle course it's gonna be like timed so you have to you know navigate the car through the obstacle course once you do that then you're gonna i think we're gonna have jacob or malicek be like the permanent

jouster then you have to go up and knock him're going to have Jacob or Malasek be like the permanent jouster. Then you have to go up and knock him off. Okay. And whoever gets the best time. And who's competing? At the spot for the month. Pretty much anyone that's here. Okay.

There's been an email sent out, a proper use of the company email, I think. Yeah, good. We had Dave on. I saw. Connor kept talking. Yeah. That was a mistake. But you agree, Dave kind of liked the titties. Yeah, I'm sure he did.

Yeah. Okay, thank you. But yeah, we got a little car, we got a little jousting, and then whoever wins is going to get a spot. So I think it's like, you know, if people don't want to participate, they can't bitch about not being able to park. Yeah, I like this. Because with the interns now, sometimes you're just not parking yeah okay so everyone we're gonna line up everyone

when they're gonna announce i'll stick around for a little bit yep and how long do they get the spot for a month that's ah damn okay and so wait what do they have to do they have to do car they have to do the car obstacle obstacle course which is it's a little bit hard to navigate you're gonna have to you know it's gonna take a little time for people to figure out it's really whoever can do the car the fastest is probably gonna win but let's say mook doesn't have a car if mook signs up to do it and wins can he use that spot for anything yeah yeah you can storage storage i put a storage unit in there yeah move into it yeah you could you should camp there am i eligible to win this?

Yeah. You should just park sideways. I'm starting the barstool in camping. So if I win this, I get two spots? Yeah, and maybe you can dish it out to whoever you want. No, I just want it open. Yeah, so nobody's next to you. Move your car in the middle of the day.

Well, it's easier to get out when there's not a car in front. Yeah. Okay. All right, so we're going to do it. You think Malasek should be permanent D? I think Malasek's tough to – he'll be tough to hit over. I think that should be something tough. I think Jacob would be – yeah, but Malasek will actually like –

he'll beat someone up and like never get off. Do you think Mincy could balance on it? Nope. No. No, but Mincy doesn't have a car either. Mincy can't even balance on an electric scooter. I don't know. I feel like Malasek, I feel like it'd be funny if someone just can't get him down.

Okay. I mean... Yeah. What do you think? Is he allowed to hit back or he's just standing there? Yeah. No. Okay, okay.

Because if he knocks you down, you have to get back up and just keep going. Okay. So, but it's whenever he gets off. Whenever he hits, whenever his foot hits the ground. Okay. That's fair. So, like, if he knocks you off, but he also goes off, it's time he gets off. Whenever he hits, whenever his foot hits the ground. Okay, that's fair. So, like, if he knocks you off, but he also goes off, it's time off. Yeah.

All right. I like it. Okay, so we're going to do that on the Viva La Stool stream right after this. They're going to set it up. All right. Thank you, Hank. Thank you. Everyone tune in.

Kick everyone over there. I have bicep tendonitis, by the way. Good job hitting bombs last night. Oh, shit. Golf game. Going to be struggling. Hank drove us back immediately when he parked. He pulled out a golf club

and took a swing to check for damage. Yeah, he was doing that in the dugout too. Gotta do what you gotta do. Sacrifice. Do it again. Alright, can someone do the High Noon ad? And then we'll spin the wheel. Unfrosted has been nominated for best TV movie. The moment everyone has been waiting

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Boys? Motherfucker. I could still fall off of it. Yeah. Titus. Sorry, bud. Yep. Start untying my Birkenstocks now. All right.

Well, here we go. Ebo, Hank, Connor. If there's justice in the world, it's me. Jacob. Yeah. I want Connor. Yeah. He needs a rebirth.

A baptism of sorts. Yeah, yeah. Oof. Connor or Jacob. This should be me. If Connor gets it, he should have to send it to Dave and be like, I'm repenting. Connor or Jacob. It's tough. Connor or Jacob.

Oh, man. I really don't need this. No, I showered last night And everything stung My hands like went crazy Oh dude My When I was driving home

I realized like halfway home I could not feel my entire left hand Because I was gripping the wheel Yeah And it was like I was shaking it I was like Fuck

It hurts so bad Did anybody do You know when you hit it sometimes And it like jars your whole body Oh yeah Titus is like Titus had an entire round Every single It hurts so bad. Did anybody do, you know when you hit it sometimes and it like jars your whole body? Oh, yeah. Titus had an entire round. Every single hit, I was screaming. He was screaming agony.

Oh, I'm done. I'm done with this. That's the worst. Stinger after stinger. It'd be so awesome. We got to do that again. I want to hit some more dingers That was so much fun

I wanna play against A little league team That would be awesome Yo Yeah Max would kill one of them Yeah Alright

Spit it TJ This is a big wheel Can't get nervous for a while It's cranked in numbers Can't get nervous for a while. Strength in numbers. Can't get nervous for a while. All right. Strength in numbers. That's right.

I feel like TJ's never gotten wet. TJ got wet like five. Oh, sorry. Nope. Whoops. The pre-celebration is a bad sign. That was dumb. Yep, that was stupid.

My shoes are already off. Oh. No, sit. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. It's both. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. It hasn't gotten near my name yet

oh look at you Brandon hasn't gotten near my name see if that works I hope it's Evo and we'll call him in to talk about the home run thing last night. He'll think we're going to want to talk about the home run thing.

Yeah. He's got to go to the wet. No justice. I deserve this. I'm a good boy. No! Guys. It's gonna be Kate.

I kind of feel it in my bones. It's gonna be me. I know it's gonna be me. It's me, for sure. Good move, Kate! Thank you, God. I didn't say anything. When you said it, I said, be still. Come on.

That's bets. Let's go. That was the OG, right? Yeah, that was. TJ and Big Cat. Yes. All right, one nothing. Oh man. Feels good when you're not on it, you know? Nice. Die, die, die. Oh, I wanted to see. No it. You know? Nice.

Die, die, die. Oh, I wanted to see. No piss. I wanted to see. Chase's face looks different. His pants. Yeah. Yeah. It does.

There you go. You're good, big cat. Fuck you. You won. Put the shoes back on, brother. You're going to be dry as a bone. He's defeated. I feel like TJ gets wet a lot.

All the time. Uh-oh. He's out the door. Smart move. All right. Smart move. Yeah. Might as well already go get wet.

It's over. Going to get wet. already go get wet it's over Game seven game seven seven all right see you big cat yes never a doubt I told you TJ never gets wet that's true that's the washed moment right there if you would have fallen I wouldn't have even laughed I would have said aww no I would have been very sad

there you go big guy man he seems so fragile right here oh man that's a hard realization right there tough luckily i think the camera cut to the booth for most of that yeah that's a shame tj yeah it sucks tj never gets wet though i didn't shower this morning yeah i'm I'm curious to see what TJ looks like what I've never seen ever seen it one time He's gotten wet like five times in a row Please It's not fun that was nerve-racking they're very nerve-racking You say anything when he lost no we haven't heard from him

I only know if he's here right Che if you bump into somebody while you're wearing the sunglasses do you think it's ethical to tell them they used to be glasses also Che would you would you like if your children

needed like a guest reader at their school and you offered would you wear the glasses or do you think people would be upset about that a guest reader what did he say a guest reader he did the question thing I have

somewhat big news. Oh, God. So I've made a... He just said he has somewhat big news. Oh. So Jeff D. Lowe and I have made an agreement. If Unfrosted wins Best TV Movie at the Emmys, which it is nominated for, I will be receiving one of his Emmys.

Whoa. Wow. What if it doesn't? Nothing. He said he would throw both of his Emmys away if it won, and then I countered, saying, just give one to me. And he said, fine, deal. He was going to throw them both away. So you'll have won an Emmy at that point. Technically, yes.

Well, technically, no. Technically, yes. I will have won the Emmy in a bet. Wow. Technically, no, but... Technically, yes. I will have won the Emmy in a bet. Wow. Technically, no, but... Technically, yes. Technically, no, but you will have obtained an Emmy. No, he would have won an Emmy.

I think I said... He can say... Technically, no, he didn't win an Emmy. Technically, no, but he did get an Emmy. If you ask Che, have you ever won an Emmy, he can say yes. He will say... If I ask Che right have you ever won an Emmy, he can say yes. He will say, if I ask Che right now if you won an Emmy, he might say yes. No, but technically he won an Emmy. I don't think that's the definition of technically.

Yeah. I think technically. He made a bet. He won that bet. The Emmy is what he got. Technically is more honed in on the literal definition versus the broader definition. But a technicality. Your interpretation of the literal definition is not literal enough.

Yeah. He won and he made a bet. I wouldn't have won an Emmy in a traditional round. Right. He didn't say how he won an Emmy. No, I understand what you're saying. I'm saying I don't think that's technically winning an Emmy. I think that's just obtaining an Emmy through winning.

In the classical structure, you're correct. How do you obtain the Emmy? I can't speak anymore. No matter what, though, he's going to say he almost won an Emmy, which is annoying. Yeah. Wet-ass team. It's a wet-ass team. Man. Oh, sad. TJ, I wish it was me, TJ. Wet ass T. Oh, he's so wet. It's a wet ass T.

Oh, man. Oh, sad. So sad. TJ, I wish it was me, man. No, he did the Yoshi asexual thing. Oh, yeah. Technically, he's a species. Yoshi's the species. Oh, the boys are going to love that one.

All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Please go watch the Viva La Stool stream. We're going to kick it one. All right. We'll see you everyone tomorrow. Please go watch the Viva La Stool stream. We're going to kick it over to it in a minute. We'll see you then. Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while, it's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop, we're doing Yankee Swap, it's the act It's the action.