The Yak - Discovering the Old YouTube Channel of Our Embarrassed Coworker | The Yak 8-10-23

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh! wow. I have no sound in my ears, so I don't even know if we're live. You're flying blind here. I have sound. You sound crispy. You guys sound great.

I can hear you. Really? Yes. Okay. It's the Yak. I'm going to turn off my headphones until it's fixed. It's the Yak. We're back.

I was about to kill myself. I'll say it right now. Yeah. I was about to jump in front of a bus. I just take this, I take it very personally. Yeah. And upsets me very much. Roback, by the way.

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We're live. I think. who's to say man can you hear anything brandon no nothing oh man i just like the comfort of the headphones i do too it's i missed you guys i'm from yesterday yeah yesterday yeah yeah no but i still missed you guys we should probably just get a place together all of us why not why not it's only a matter of time anyway yeah what is that supposed to mean? Yeah, what does that mean? What the fuck? What you mean? We'd all live together. What's your end goal? Yeah, well. We'd all live together and

make beautiful music or something. That would be cool. He's been repairing a basement dungeon. For a while, yeah. Moving to the postal dorm with Kyle. He was just there. It looks sick. Brendan, did I dress you today? No. Why? Shorts? did I dress you today? No. Why?

Your shorts? Did I dress you today? You didn't? That's not a pile short? No, these were... Oh, okay. I got some of these, too. I love when I dress you. I think you're hearing the volume of the show over there.

It's a third shirt, though. That's a great shirt. How's the chat doing? I'm sure they're handling it just fine. No, they're fine. They're alive. Okay, can you tap on your mic? Brendan, how was the drive-in, my friend?

Very good today. It was only an hour and 12 minutes. That's not bad at all. No delays, just right to it. This is a breeze. Yeah. Nothing to it. I'm so happy.

It took us like two hours yesterday to get home, and that's like half the distance. It took me like 41 minutes. Of course, I was going north, and you guys were coming back to the city. Yeah. So he doesn't have to go on that backed-up highway. I don't have to go on 90, which is the one that's really wrecked. Yes. I get to go on 94.

I'm just listening to the show. I think it sounds okay. Okay. I think it sounds okay. We also get into the issue with commenters, which I dealt with every single time I went live with Doug's. You could be live and everything could be perfect, and they'll just say bad audio. And then it just gets in your head.

Even if you know it's coming, it still fucks with you. I get mad for a second, then I realize I'd do the same thing. Yeah, exactly. You would do the same thing. Absolutely. Absolutely. TJ, do we sound okay? Yes.

Okay. Okay. All right. Yes. Kyle, why do you sound okay? Yes. Okay. Okay. Yes. Kyle, why do you sound sick or raspy or something? We're on to Gen 4. Oh, no. I thought yesterday was Gen 4. Yeah, we're on Gen 4.

Yeah. I got wasted yesterday. I took home two bathroom keys. From here. Yeah. But you gave Che one. I was wondering why there was none. Yeah, I? Yeah. But you gave Che one. I was wondering why there was none. Yeah, I felt bad, but I don't know.

They're so big. They're on giant paper clips. So wouldn't that mean that you shouldn't take them? Way harder to take home. That's what I'm saying. That's why Gen 3 was a colossal failure. Yeah. Did you take both?

You took a men's and women's key, so both bathroom keys. Yeah. I don't know how I had access to both. I Ubered in with Che, and he was like, look at this. He showed me the bathroom keys yeah yeah so bathroom i don't know but you i ubered it with che and he was like look at this he showed me the bathroom he was like kyle took that was only one yeah i gave che only one because i was too embarrassed to admit to you that i took two the second one yeah i came in here and i told kyle with big smile on my face like first day of gen 3 for me did a little lifting and kyle was just like well we're on a gen yeah

it's the biggest fucking mistake you could have made. I'm so far fucking behind. Gen 1 was too rigid. Gen 2 was too LARP-y and ego-focused. And Gen 3 was just a nightmare. I got too comfortable with myself. How long was Gen 3? How long were you in Gen 3?

Like a week before Shohei Day. Yeah. So two weeks. Well, what's the change for Gen 4? Gen 4, we got to cut back. Cut back on what? We got to cut back on a lot. You're just cycling between Gen 1 and 2.

It's going to be a mixture of 1 and 2. Does Gen 4 have a cut back on stealing bathroom keys? I can't be doing that. Yeah, so I'm already good because I've never stolen one. Is your brain fogged back? Absolutely. Wait, you came back here after bowling Because you guys had to do anus

Did you just get wasted here Or did you go out in Chicago and get wasted And then somehow come back I drank some here So when's the last time you were hungover Um Right now It's been a while

Everyone tweet the stream I think we're good We're good to say good we're good to say that we're good stefan is looking at me right now i asked him if he went to springsteen last night he's like yeah it's great time it's like i don't want to strangle you the yak might just be me strangling stefan every single day the tension between you two is oh it's bad well because here's the here's here's the behind the scenes i i actually like stefan i know he works very hard he said right as we were trying to go live he he's like, no one takes this worse than me.

And I was like, no, no, no, no. No one. This destroys me. I was like, I didn't sleep on Tuesday night after Tuesday's debacle. So I take it very, very bad. So all that hate you have for Big Cat, just redirect. Stefan, what are your socials? TJ, you look good.

You look good in that seat. Oh, I have an update. All right, so this is a positive update for everyone out there. Talk to Pete. We have a timeline. We have an official timeline of the new office. Pete's probably going to be mad I'm going to announce it, but he also told me he knows that I'm just going to say whatever we talk about uh we actually ended the call with and I love you back and forth

wow what's happened I said I love you and he said I love you back uh because last night I was I was um people can probably pick up for the fact that I'm very stressed right now this has been a stressful week but either way as we're driving back from uh Bolero I was with Steven Mook and Connor and Rudy and we were talking like, you know, if the new office isn't open by Thanksgiving, it's going to be devastating. So I was like, let me get an update. Here's the update. October

13th is going to be the final all the floors swept ribbon cutting, ready to go. Are you going to be cutting the ribbon? I will cut the ribbon. Can you do something? Not just typical scissors. Why don't you throw like an axe at it? Maybe we burn the ribbon. Can you do something? Not just typical scissors. Why don't you throw an axe at it? Okay. Maybe we burn the ribbon.

Burn the ribbon. A ribbon burning. Check the fire code. That might actually be our compliance check. We'll have the fire department come out, be like, look, we burned a ribbon and nothing happened. Yeah. September 25th will be, with everything going correctly,

will be the day that we get to be in the new Yaks studio. I'll take that. That's three weeks in September that you've got to deal with it. And on top of it, I think I said it yesterday, but I'll reiterate it. This setup sucks. So we're not going to do this setup in September. We're going to find either couches. We're going to do what we've always done sitting back

relaxed riffing all that stuff so this setup will not be the september setup or just a permanent residence at the bowling alley yeah the bowling alley i had so much fun yesterday i had a blast i especially enjoyed the fact that steven shay lost in the first round. To a chick. To a girl. Girls are not, they're what, how, half as strong as men? Not even.

Not even. Oh my God. And you practiced. I did. She's an outdoorsman. First off, everybody practiced. There were open lanes before and everyone went,

I practiced, did I go the night before and practice? Yes. Because you didn't think there would be opportunity to practice. You even said this. Steven also didn't think there would be opportunity to practice. You even said this.

Steven also tried to spin zone in the car ride back. He's like, I'm happy I could give her that moment. We're like, dude, no, no, no. That was her moment. I'm happy I could be part of that. She stole that moment from you. Dude, I saw you after and you were doing a selfie video apologizing to someone. I wasn't apologizing.

I was personally devastated. You got the Che Hive who believed that Steven Che won roofball. Yeah, I don't apologizing. I was personally devastated. You got the Che Hive who believed that Stephen Che won roofball. Yeah, I don't know how. You did not win roofball. I'm the Yak champion of roofball. You did not win roofball. You're not. You just made up words.

The Yak champion of roofball. So what does that mean? Somebody else won. I am the only decorated champion in 49 U.S. states of roofball. Oregon, I've never won. And I'm going September 23rd. What are you talking about? No.

Everywhere outside of Oregon, I'm the only roofball champion. You aren't the champion. Is he the champion of Wyoming? Non-Oregon residents, I am the only champion. No, you're not. You're the champion of this show, which I actually don't even – didn't Kyle beat you in the final round? No. Then you played again?

That guy won. The guy won. The guy won, and then we played again, and then me and Kyle. But who won when you played against the guy? He beat me, but – The guy. No, the guy. No, but who came second?

He won the tournament. Me. You sure? Yeah. Yeah. That's second place. That's second place. That's second place. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, it's semantics. The roofball record. No, it's not semantics. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. We had a roofball tournament. We had a winner.

I also want to say. Nick actually won the most. He won money. We can say that now. Yeah. It was $1,000. Yeah, $1,000. It was.

Jerry gave me his 101s he had on him. All you idiots out there thought we were playing for points. It was money. Oh, what's that got to do with points? It was money, morons. And lots of it. I actually thought you won points. I had no idea.

That whole era, I had no idea what you guys were talking about. Points had you confused? That was for like gambling. Yeah, you got $1,000. Yeah. It was a friendly wager. Yeah. It got $1,000. Yeah. It was a friendly wager. Yeah. It was $1,000 that he won.

By the way, Jerry's golfing with Trump today, I think. Yeah. And I saw, so he's in the live pro-am, and they announced who he's golfing with, and it was like a list, and then I saw Caitlyn Jenner was on there, and I was like, this. Oh, no. Thank God that we're independent again. Jerry is in a foursome with Caitlyn Jenner. There'll be some clips and questions.

I don't know. I can see them kind of hitting it off. I hope he fucks her. And then he comes in, we get to break it to him. But yeah, Steven, you're not the roofball champion. Think of like a British player lost the Super Bowl.

The only British player on both teams. Is he the European champion of the Super Bowl? That's good. He's the greatest Euro of all time in the NFL. Right? As far as winning Super Bowls. No, he didn't win a Super Bowl. They are on the losing team. They came in second in the NFL.

If it was only one British guy and he lost, he's the British champion? No, because you're just adding champion. He made it farther than any Brit ever had. Is that wrong? Is he the British champion? Misuse champion like that. Run the taste back. It says we're playing for the Yak Championship,

which I won. That was a cope on all of our parts because we were like why did we invite this guy which kb and i warned you said it right away or whoever said it when we interviewed him the first time and he was like can i play him and i think you were like this is a bad idea yeah he tried to be all cute he looked at his feet he like he pushed his fingers together what's the worst way what's the worst that could happen we could have a four-hour show where a ringer wins, and then we have to deal with Stephen Che claiming he won. What's the worst that could happen?

Exactly that. The alternative would be Che actually winning. That's true. I don't think he would have. I don't think he would have either because he's a choker. See Sidney Wells round one. Sidney Wells would have showed up. Sidney Wells round one.

I certainly underestimated her. She's got the greatest aim at the company, and that's almost not debatable. Oh, my goodness. That's a totally different thing, Steven. Aim. It's a totally different thing. Aim is not generalized to anything that requires accuracy. She can shoot a moose.

She wasn't shooting the ball. She was throwing an eight-pound ball, and she hit, I believe, with six strikes. Do you think Steph Curry would be the best American sniper? His death reception is unmatched. Oh, fuck. He's a very good golfer, too. He won a... Oh, he does think this.

He does. He absolutely thinks that Curry would be the lethal weapon for the U.S. military. Give him some practice time? Absolutely. Why not? I'd be curious. It's very different things. This is different stuff. Everyone who says LeBron James would be the best at soccer if he could just screw up training. That is the argument. No, but that's an argument that we make as a

joke. Two separate skill sets. We make that argument as a joke to piss off the rest of the world. We're like, if LeBron played soccer, he'd be the best in the world. That is a... We do that to piss off the rest of the world we're like if lebron played soccer he'd be the best in the world that is a we do that to piss people off in other countries did you know that but i don't know if you can i don't think you knew that at least that's comparing to now i don't think you knew that that's comparing two feats of athleticism this is bowling and shooting a gun yeah both of which you aim.

One requires vision. Are we even sure that she has the best aim in the company? We have actual military experience in the company. Right. Look at Kate. She's better than me, for sure. Chaps? No, yeah.

She's better than all of us. Really? Oh, yeah. Easily. Cons definitely doesn't think that. No. Cons doesn't think that. There's no way.

We just gave Cons. He's already tweeting at that. No. Con doesn't think that. There's no way. We just gave Con some. He's already tweeting at you. Yeah, we gave Con. He cleared Con's schedule. He's going to be tweeting about this for the rest of the day. Yeah. Oh, man. It was a fun time.

The part I was most bummed about wasn't necessarily losing, but I just didn't get to bowl with my friends anymore. That was the most disheartening part. That is disheartening. Well, I need an update. Did Ben Mintz ever get his shoes? Yeah. That was the most disheartening part. Well, I need an update. Did Ben Mintz ever get his shoes? Yeah, so nobody had a card. The machine to get the points to play the games wasn't working.

And so the guy who runs the bowling alley was paying out of pocket for Ben to play. No. Mintz was trying to win them back with the clock. No, I think Mintz got distracted by the big cookie monster and was trying to win that. That's cool. Trying to win them back with the claw. No, I think Mintz got distracted by the big cookie monster and was trying to win that. No, he did not get them back the right way. We were getting kicked out and the guy opened up the... I think Mintz tried like 11, 12 times. That's amazing.

And then some other dude who wasn't with us came and tried to win the shoes. The claw machine is the most humiliating machine in the world. I did it. Sidney Wells is crazy good at it. Crazy good. I went to a Chuck E. I took my son to a Chuck E. Cheese like two weeks ago, and I think I lost like $25 trying to get him a little blue ball.

And he just kept on being like, oh, can you get it for me? Can you get it for me? Have you ever known someone that was skillful on a claw machine? Yeah. Are you good at it? I went three for three in for me? Have you ever known someone that was skillful on a claw machine? Nick! Are you good at it? I went three for three in a Florida Denny's.

Yeah, I was majestic. Here's the good news, Nick. Donnie, you want one? Kyle, you want one? I'm going to keep, I guess, one for myself. Here's the good news, Nick. I was thinking about on the ride home and with our new office and how much space we have, I will start just making the purchases that make no sense.

We will have a claw machine. Yeah. I think we should all get very good at these kind of things. There are hacks. Yeah. Yeah. We should get a claw machine. We should fill it with just random items and then like maybe one like brick of like 10K. Yeah.

But I think that would be like a cool thing for like the guests that come in. Just like, hey, here's a token. Yeah. Give us your shoes. Give us your shoes. Please take your shoes off when you come to the office. We toss them in there. So you thought those were Dave's.

I did, yes. It was a better, the only better alternative. I think so, yeah. I did some reconnaissance, and I was like looking, you know, the bowling shoes have the size on the back. And I grabbed the first pair of 11s that I saw, and they were Mincy's. Well, the most beautiful part was, you know, you thought they were White Sox Dave's, right? Yes.

But slowly, we just noticed Mincy looking around. And where was he looking? He was looking on the feet of other bowlers. Yeah, no, Mincy has lost his shoes. He would come up to people, and he would look at their shoes, and be like, you're not wearing my shoes. No, no. Can we play clips?

He's there. Should we not try? Oh, we can. All right, so just play the clip Not only has he lost shoes before I think he's lost them in claw machines He's lost him in arcade games Yeah, I think last time it was like that coin push. I don't even think he knows it was a prank My god when when it zooms out what he's going for

You're right. You're right. He is not going for his shoes. And it zooms out. The Yak logo might be in front of it. But seeing him without shoes on is so funny. Oh, my God. Well, too, nobody was really hiding it from him. Oh, he's got the bowling shoes on.

That's right. We were all tagging him on social media being like, look at Ben's shoes in this claw machine. And still, for three hours after he had been tagged in like a million posts about it he was still you just see him roaming in different parts of the alley looking yeah no a part of me um wanted to well shout out tj he was like i was like hey take these shoes and run he was like i want to it was tj that was the mastermind secondly uh i wanted to pay the guy that worked there like $100 for the bowling shoes just for a tweet of Ben out later that night. Oh, that was incredible.

We're just wearing them today. Oh, fuck. And Mincy. He had the Uber calls. He gave up. Yeah, he was ready to go. He was ready to go home. Mincy, by the way, he was ready to go. He was ready to go home.

Mincy, by the way, I think it's official. We can have him on later on the show, but I think he's officially going to move. Is he going to do it? Yes, so he will be. Almost all of us are super excited for that. He's going to come, and look, he doesn't have to do anything. He just has to be Mincy.

I was just envisioning the things that we had, the live streaming we're going to do from the new office, and just the soundboard we're going to be able to create from mincy in action is going to be worth his contract alone gonna have him on call in person at all times yeah he's gonna do his thing he's gonna wake up mincy bananas back on the table yeah just whatever he wants just doing random shit i could see himself himself in a Hansel and Gretel situation where he's following a trail of candy into the woods. Ends up in a stew. He's no sugar. Did you see him eating the pizza yesterday with a fork?

He's been in a stew before. He's been in many a cauldron. Yeah. I mean, he is. I saw an eye of Newton there. He is the most important person to the Yak who's not on the Yak. Yes. That's a fact.

If you had to list all the side characters that we have through the years, I think Mincy's number one. Provides the most fodder. He does. His woohoo on the soundboard. He's the best, man. We got dinner with him last night. Can we see if we can get these?

We got dinner with Mincy and Hank took him to play beach volleyball, I think. Unbelievable, yeah. Hank's living his life. He's living the best life. Do the high noon ad, Steven, while we fix the headphones.

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highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. I think Chicago summertime is the perfect climate for high noon tequila seltzer. Again, strawberry guy, but anything really good. Can't miss with them. High noon. Great job, Steven. Great job. We have other things we have to get to which I figured we would just do this on the show. but anything really good can't miss with them high noon great job steven great job all right

we have other things we have to get to uh which i figured we would just do this on the show so just to reiterate next week uh is back in new york and then the following week is the last week of new york yaks where we're all gonna go we're gonna do monday show in studio. Case race that night, which will air Friday. Then we're going to Stu Feiner's house on Tuesday. Good news is Brandon, you are allowed to come. It's officially been okayed. You're going to be a part of it.

We have to figure out what we're going to do. Is that from now on? That's from now on. Under conditions. Under conditions. You have to wear a dress. Was going to anyway. That's from now on. Under conditions. Under conditions. Yeah, you have conditions. You have to wear a dress.

Was going to anyway. But we have to figure out what we want to do on that Tuesday episode live from Stu's house. Yeah, they have a meeting with High Noon today where they're going to choose what ideas. Show off the top chicken body pyramid. Yeah, chicken body pyramid. That's a good start. But I think maybe either we break into teams of two and do some kind of competition, like Olympics. But Stu's house has everything. Yeah.

So we've got to figure that out. The pool. We've just got to come up with random games. Relay race. Three-legged race. I'm coming, too. I've got to travel for it because I just want to know what kind of food Stu's getting. Oh, he's going to order. I'm just going to be there for the buffet.

All right. So for anyone who's not been to Stu's house, when we arrive, there will be somewhere around 50 to 100 sandwiches slash pizza. Yes. Now, you'll say to yourself, Stu, there's only like 15 of us. This is way too much food. But hold on. The beauty of Stu Finer's house is whenever he has people over, he tells the entire town. So probably an hour to two hours after we arrive, you'll look around and be like, wait, now there's 50 people here? How did this happen? And then it will slowly build, slowly build until the entire town of Farmingdale is at Stu's house watching us yak.

What if we just start a pyramid and whoever shows up has to cut up on time? Breaking a world record would be great. Can we get a Guinness rep out there? That's a genius idea. We should get a list of like 15 dumb world records and try to break all of them. Or just one.

Imagine our new studio having the Guinness plaque that we broke around. Yeah. I would like that. What are the dumbest world records? Can you look it up, TJ? I saw a video on this recently. There's one with like blowing a pea through a straw

across a floor that was like only like 15 feet. I feel like that's pretty doable. Okay. Yeah, like I think maybe what we do is everyone picks one that they have to do personally, and then we have a team one. So it's like, all right, now Steve is going to try to break like Powder Donuts record or something. I might do Biggest Cock and Balls.

Okay. I like that. Fattest Titties. I could be in a competition for that. All right. 20 easy to break world records. Can we get a Guinness rep out there? World record days.

Yeah, TJ, can we? I think so. There's got to be some New York ones. The most number of underpants put on in under one minute. So we're not going to beat anything like this. No, but we should try. Like someone should try to do that. 20-inch bubble doesn't seem too bad.

Bubble gum? Someone should try that. Che. Oh, Che, chopsticks. Yeah. 22? Okay. Yeah, like, we should try to do all these.

We could do that. We're not going to probably break any of them. TJ, look up records broken by children. And let's just ruin that for them. Smallest limbo line. Yeah. Yeah, this is good. All right, World Record Day.

Does that sound good, TJ? Yeah, let me see what the logistics are of getting a Guinness adjudicator out. But that does sound like a perfect theme for us definitely a Guinness a Guinness world record day we won't stop until one is broken yeah yeah that will be the goal and if we break one on the first one we'll just keep going and just run up the score yeah fuck this is gonna rule this is gonna rule the Capri Sun one we kind of came we close. We were so close. So close. Yeah. I'm ready for this. Or I bet

you could think of something so obscure that it's never been done and just set the bar wherever it is. Right? Because before the Capri Sun thing, who was doing that? I don't know the rules of that. Yeah, we could be like, farthest football thrown by an Asian man

who claims he's the world champion at roofball and ran a 4-4 at Jets camp in 2003. Sure, that's oddly specific, but yeah, something like that. Do you think anyone's broken that? What if you found out somebody had it? It would be really funny. There was just some Asian guy.

Well, the Asian people love breaking records. Yeah. They're damn good at it. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, hyper-specific records. Okay. Yeah, well, I'll come with one.

Live show that doesn't work for the longest amount of time. Yeah, Devin will bring Stefan. So we're going to do a regular Monday Yak, and then we're going to record a case race Monday night. Yep. Tuesday, are we doing a regular Yak and then going to Stu's? The regular Yak is going to be live from Stu's. And then so

we got to record a Tuesday night. We will have to record a regular Yak for Thursday. And then Wednesday we'll be live from. We originally said maybe we do a KB's Wild or a draft from Stu's on pre-record after the live one.

Yeah. Or were we going to save that maybe for the first? Oh yeah. Yeah. The other question. So then we're doing a live yak from Boston on Wednesday. Yes. We could also just do the live yak from Thursday in Boston,

TJ. If we have it all set up. I don't know if we have the location for two days. Okay. Good point. So yeah, we'll either way, it'll be a full know if we have the location for two days. Okay. Good point. So, yeah. Either way, it will be a full week of Yak ending with the case race on that Friday. And then the last week of August will be off.

And then the first after Labor Day, we're back with a different setup in Chicago. Are we inviting anybody for the case race or is it just going to be us? I think it's just going to be us. Yeah. Yeah. It's just going to be us. It should be the squad. I threw a soft invite to Shane Gillis, and he just responded, ha, ha, ha.

That felt like a no. I think that's stronger than a no. Yeah, I mean, well, what I got from that is, because I asked him like a month ago, I think he was more like, why are you asking me for something that's a month and a half away when I'm a comedian and I'm traveling all the time? So maybe if we ask the day before, he might be able to come. Since that's our last thing, everybody together, I would love Brandon to drink. Got a new lease on life? Well, I wasn't going to drink.

Surprised a car crash? If you guys voted I should drink, I guess I'll drink. Okay, everyone who wants to pay Brandon to drink. If you guys voted I should drink, I guess I'll drink. Okay, everyone who wants to drink. You see how easy that was? That's not going to cut it for what we're doing. Gen 4. Brandon's not on Gen 4. I'm not on Gen 4.

You should get on Gen 4. I'll get on Gen 4 if he wants, but the only thing I'm doing... Have you stolen any bathroom keys? The first day I was here, I did take one home. He doesn't. Have you done it since? It's easy to do. All right, so then you're on it since? it's very easy to do

rumor has it he's shitting the ladies room today can you confirm? it's stunk in there is that off limits now? what is the deal there? there's no M or W on the doors I feel like you're all shitting in there I think Eddie had an issue with this

they were all accusing him of that that's why they did the keys in the first place the construction're all shitting in there. I think Eddie had an issue with this. They were all accusing him of that. That's why they did the keys in the first place. The construction guys were shitting. It stinks in there. Well, it's shit. It is shit. Oh, Pete took down the men and women. Progressive.

Yeah, that is nice. Could have an NBA All-Star game here, maybe. Imagine you can't poop in the bathroom. That would be awful. And the bathroom smells, of course. But yes, of course it does. Poop with poop. Poop with man poop.

It was awesome. BK, can you check your phone for me? Yeah. I found my... Oh. Uh-oh. Okay. Yeah. I found my shitting toilet in my house

and then I got it blown up right away well my son then walked in and was like what are you doing I was like taking a shit and then he just announced the whole house he's like dad's taking a shit are you taking a poop did you have yeah but that was my spot I'm gonna have to find a new one it's a very

important thing it is you have to find whenever new one. It's a very important thing. It is. You have to find, whenever you are in a new apartment or new house, if you have more than one bathroom, you've got to figure out what's the one that's going to be the one. I don't know if I've settled in mine yet at all. Have you shit in every bathroom in your house? Yes, I have.

Wow. Yes, I have. Really? You thought about it. No, no, no. There's one upstairs that I haven't. So that one's probably out. But, yeah have four how's the toilet flow good everything's good airflow's good quality's good you're like a women's bathroom your boat yeah it's big not big enough for a

bathroom no so in the case that you're not on the lake. It's not big enough for two people. Hey, what? You want a boat? Toilet? In the case that you're out on the lake and you're out there, fishing can take a couple hours. Sure. If you choose. And you have to go to the bathroom. Right.

What's the move? Well, my house is attached to the lake. So I would just. So you would go back? I would just drive the boat back, dock it, and then go do my business. If it's number one? Oh, I'll just stand up and pee in the lake. Okay. But the number two,

you're docking back. They would just put us over the edge. Yeah. Yeah. Just poop over the edge of the crab. Yeah. Look at that boat. No, no room for a bathroom on there. Right. Shower. This is pre-car crash, Brandon. Yeah, I was a different guy. He's got all the confidence in the world. You felt better after that.

Now that it's not a big deal. No, I'm good. I'm good now. You have to re-political yesterday. That's exactly what you needed. I didn't want to do it. You were looking so forward to it. It was like exposure therapy.

It was. I knew it was coming and it was fine. It was fine. I still got to talk to Dwayne, the paramedic who wasn't a paramedic. Now, Dwayne, is that an E in there? Huh? I don't know if there was a E. He said Dwayne, is that an E in there? I don't know if there was a... He said Dwayne, but it might have been just Dwayne.

Well, do you know his last name? Start with a D. I know that. All right, so let's put out the search. What does Dwayne look like? Give me all the details about him. Probably about 5'8", white guy. Go on. Just a standard...

Should be pretty easy to find. A Dwayne? A little white Dwayne? A little white Dwayne. I think that's a Dwayne, not a Dwayne. A little Dwayne. You think. A Dwayne? A little white Dwayne? A little white Dwayne. I think that's a Dwayne, not a Dwayne. A little Dwayne? You think it's Dwayne? I think it's Dwayne, not a Dwayne.

It might have been Wayne. It could have been a Wayne. It was definitely, I knew the alliteration. Are you sure it's not a Dane? No, it wasn't a Dane. It sounds like it was a Dane. It wasn't a Dane. It was a Dwayne D.

Well, can the one white Dwayne please call in? Who saved Brandon's life? He was in Southern Illinois. I was a Dwayne D. Can the one white Dwayne please call in? Who saved Brandon's life? He was in southern Illinois. I was around Johnston City. Oh, you were in southern Illinois. I was past all the cornfields. What was the address? Johnston City? Johnston City. It was around Johnston City.

It was around exit 59. He is an EMT. What is he? What he said he was. He was off duty. Johnston City. Yeah, there's a T. Oh, so you can look up volunteer places, probably, and find the rosters and find the Dwayne. I would love to talk to Dwayne. Love to.

Just got to find him and give him a fist pound. Thank you. Appreciate it. Saved my life, brother. Huh? You want to get him a little gift basket or something? I could give him a gift basket, sure. Yeah.

Sure you could, but would you? I'd give him a $50 gift card at the barstool store. Yeah, what'd you get for a white Dwayne? Let him get a girl dad hat. Did you guys see that horrific fire in Hawaii? Yeah. It was so, so terrible. It fucked up the whole town.

Yeah, that's awful. It was a, someone tweeted a screenshot of, there was like people trapped in a van in the fire and their like emergency Apple Watch was it was like the commercial was able to like talk to the EMTs being like the like we don't know what to do. The like the car is getting really hot. And the whole time I was reading, I was like thinking about Brandon just being like, what do I do? Yeah, my my bumper is a little fucked up. Please come help me. Help me.

I'm running out of oxygen. Put down the window. Okay, I have oxygen now. Yeah. I love you, Brandon. Yeah, no, that's fine. That's fine. Everything's good.

Everything's good. I enjoyed yesterday. Getting back in the mix. It felt really good to have you back. Who did you play in the first round? Chief beat me. I was up on him for eight frames, and then he went strike, strike, spare to end it and ran out on me.

Chief League is so much fun. So much fun. It's the number one activity that every time I do it, I wonder why don't I do this more. Correct. It's like drinking lemonade. Every time I drink lemonade, I'm like, why don't I drink lemonade more often? And root beer, too. Both of those things.

I'm like, why don't I do this more often? Root beer is a good one. I'm making a root beer today. I got a root beer. You more often? And root beer, too. Both of those things. I'm like, why don't I do this more often? Root beer's a good one. I might get a root beer today. I got a root beer. You've never had a root beer. I've been like, I don't like this root beer. I don't have the taste buds. Chocolate ice cream?

You don't have the palate for root beer? I think root beer and Dr. Pepper don't taste good to me. But I believe other people love it. Birch beer is better tasting than root beer. I've never had a birch beer. It's kind of potato patato. I don't a birch beer. It's kind of potato patata. I don't think birch beer. It's made of potatoes.

Did you guys see the video of everyone going into the office today? Yes. 6 a.m., 7.30. Can we play that? Sass is losing his mind. The best part is Dave's not there today. So they all got in. Now, for context, what would you guys say?

Three years now? I don't think there's been more than like four people in the office before 10 a.m. Never. Dave came back one day and it was, I mean, this is an insane hour for these people. What are they going to do all day? That's super early. Yeah, they're just going to do nothing. Meek.

Meek. 8-11. Alfred. Where are we at, ladies? There we go. She gets there at that time. She's always there. Yeah, that sucks for the people that are always there,

because then they get their John Rich. Yeah, John Rich is usually the first person there. This makes no goddamn sense. That is insane. Something's amiss. Oh, I need a live. Sass. This one shocks me. I mean, K.'s amiss. Oh, I need a live. Sass. This one.

I mean, K. Marco. Yeah. Oh, my God. Not a word. Nate Dogg, 925. Nate's having a renaissance right now. This is like the saddest NBA intro walk from the car. Joey and Keegs.

Smitty. Smitty went through it yesterday. Yeah. Tough. He was getting. Caroline. This is so funny that Dave's not even there. Oh, there he is.

The goat. 1105. Oh, man. And I don't know. I'm ready to poach this IT guy if the the new york office turns on him yeah oh wait the third floor guy who's like we'll pencil you in i think that's funny as hell yeah yeah yeah i think that's it seems like a bot account is that guy real i think he's real look at his name but look at his profile i think p... Yeah, that does seem fake. Wait a minute. I think Pete put strict orders that he's... How do we know he's real?

I've never seen that guy in my life. But that's not his real account. That's not his real account. It doesn't look... I think Pete's put him on a gag order. Really? I believe so. I mean, that's a Pete problem.

Yeah. Pete can't have his people going crazy like that. Wait, I think we were introduced to this guy at a company meeting. Really? I think so. He's a big rah-rah. He's a big rah-rah. He's a Viva guy?

You think he did tweet that? I think he opened his original email with, like, hello, Barstoolians or something. Oh, God. This guy. Funny, funny. Oh, my God. Barstoolians. He has a home on anus.

What the fuck? No matter what happens. I want him. I'm going to DM him now. What are you going to say? I want you. Just say I want you. Yeah, I'm going to do that.

I'm also in the Johnston City Facebook group looking for DeWine. Did you get accepted into it? I'm pending. They'reston City Facebook group looking for DeWayne. Did you get accepted into it? I'm pending. They're not going to accept you. Yeah, they will.

We also own the interstate around Johnston City so there's no guarantee. I'm going to put out the word. People love trying to find people.

Was he wearing something that stood out? Did he have bumper stickers on his car? Well, it was pouring down rain, and he was getting very inconvenienced by me. There was an EMT in the Johnston City area that saved my friend's life. I would just like to

find him. His name is Dwayne spelling question mark. Last name starts with a D. Dwayne D. You were very shaken up, Brandon. I was very shaken up. Yeah, like if we put you on trial, they'd be like, well, this man can't remember anything. I remember Dwayne D. very vividly because I like the alliteration.

I just remember that. It'd be great if we got in touch with him and he just has no recollection of the entire event. Or he's black. Yeah. His name's not Dwayne.. Or it's black. Yeah. His name's not Dwayne. It definitely wasn't black. It was a white guy. You couldn't just...

You were so shaken up, you saw a white Dwayne. You couldn't accept it. Finally, my lord and savior's here. You could not accept it, so you saw what you wanted to see. No man who saves my life. I hope to God he's black oh fuck yeah we gotta talk to duane

uh one other thing i had and this is this was revealed to me on the ride home uh because we were stuck in a little traffic did you guys know that connor griffin who's great on the Yak, he does a lot of our socials and everything. He told me that he had a college football show when he was 11 years old. What? I believe that's believable. And I think we have some clips. Yeah. I think we have some clips.

Which he also unveiled to us that when he was growing up, his dad would wake up at 1 in the morning and work from 1 to 7. So that he could be, like, sounds like dad of the year. Yeah. So he could play with his little boy. So he could be around when they were up. Wow. Yeah, 1 to 7. So he'd go to sleep from 7 p.m.

He'd wake up at 1. Yeah, he'd go to sleep at 7, wake up at 1, and then work. Oh, my God. Oklahoma State and Texas. Very good game. TJ, can you pause really quick? This kind of sucks. Yeah.

He doesn't have his voice. His voice is everything. Yeah, you suck at this, dude. Home alone looking ass. Oklahoma and the Red River rivalry. dude. Home alone looking ass. Wait, go back. Did he know that he made a mistake? Yeah, he did. He cringed.

Big. And Oklahoma State, they've been doing very well. Ranked in the top 10. Are those credit cards just sitting on his desk? Yeah, zoom in on that. Better this year.

Is this on YouTube? Connor said it is on YouTube, but he will not be revealing the account. If we find it, we have to comment like this is fucking garbage dude you suck get another job get him to quit

I think he's listening he should come in here and explain himself yeah that sucked it's going nowhere why would we that has to be the worst rivalry for Roticism The triple W

Oh man He went to go look for C4s Oh okay I'm thirsty That's so cute. That's why. Steven, you got yourself a banana split last night?

Yeah. For what? What did you do yesterday that deserved that? I didn't deserve it, but that's when they're the best. How often do you see a fried banana split?

Fried banana with ice cream is a top, top tier dessert. It looked like it was a corn dog almost. How often do you see it? Not often. Unless you live next to the restaurant or something or work there. But I'm saying like if you go to a restaurant.

If you live at a state fair, I'm sure I've seen it all the time. Yeah. So you were at a restaurant and got this as a dessert or you went there specifically for this? No, didn't. Went to the restaurant. It happened to be on a dessert menu. I was like, oh, you know what? I had a vegetable plate for dinner with some be on the dessert menu. I was like, oh, you know what? I had a vegetable plate for dinner with some chicken on it.

And then I was like, yeah, you know what? So how was it? Delicious. Delicious? Top five overall. Oh, that's very fatty. That looks awesome. I've seen that before.

Very fatty. That does look good. And were you eating this by yourself? Yes. Outside. That rules. Yeah. No, it was great.

You were eating it outside. Yeah. Do you clean plate it? It was a beautiful day. Yeah, always. Tie a knot in the cherry stem? Uh, no. Can you? Gotta save the muscles, you know? You know he can. Dog! You have the clit looking like a balloon animal.

Dog! Actually, Stephen, someone did say that someone tweeted me yesterday during the bowling stream. They're like, either you're good at bowling or good at pussy eating. Never both. So that's good for you. What? That is.

That's good that you sucked at bowling. Sure. Yeah. I bowled exactly where I expected. I figured I was going to be between 120 and 150 the first game. So you're saying no pro bowlers can eat pussy? That's the theory. Did you see that pro bowler yesterday?

That guy fucking eats a ton of pussy. I was going to say, he looked like he did. That guy eats pussy. Listen, I'm just telling you what the streets are saying. I'm just saying, he looked like he did. You think that guy eats a ton of pussy? All those bowling groupies just don't get their pussy eaten. Is that what you're saying? No, I think they get dicked down.

Yeah. All those bowling groupies? I asked him about bowling groupies yesterday, and he was like, yeah, he's like, they exist. He's like, you know, I'm married now, so I, you know, behave myself. He's like, you know, I had a good time in my younger days. That always creeps me out when someone says that. Like, I'm married, but yeah, you know I got after you.

People love hinting at the fact that they got a lot of pussy. They had sex a lot. I had a wild face. I had to sew my oats. Yeah, and they pretty much say, you know what I mean. Oh, if you knew me when I was 22, holy shit. I was a lot more fun back then. It's not the same the other way around.

I'm a mom now, but I was a real whore. It's amazing I wasn't one sooner. Men are either good at bullying or eating pussy. Yeah, there it is. Viral tweet. No, you know what to do with your fingers? Yeah, but that would be fingers. Well, that's not eating pussy, right? Maybe fingerings are things. Yeah.

Put a little spin on it. A little English. I'm so sore from bowling, which is pathetic. It's not. It is. Well, you did four games plus whatever warm-ups. I know, an incredible run to the championship. No one saw that coming. You did good. Anything over three games of bowling is a lot of bowling.

It's pathetic. I can just say it. I appreciate you trying to pump me up. Bowling four games and being sore in your entire body the next day is a pathetic thing to have happen. Brandon, was it interstate? What interstate? 57.

I'm in talks. I-57? I-57, yeah. Let's go, KB. There's got to be some kind of, because official people showed up, right? Yeah. There's got to be some kind of report of it, yeah. And that's public record.

Maybe. Oh, KB is going to crack this. But I don't think, but Dwayne was gone by the time the cops got there. Oh, okay then. He was, wasn't he? All signs are pointing to him. Hey man, I gotta get the fuck out of here. It was, you know, it was a really bad storm and the cops were answering a lot of calls

I believe You weren't the only crisis? No, it was rough They said it was 80 mile an hour winds That is crazy The way you described it to me was very scary It was scary Not just the way I described it to you

but living through it was scary About 5'8". You want me to go with white? I don't want to screw up the whole thing. Wait, say potentially white. He was definitely white. White adjacent? What if he was just making a D sound

when he was pulling you out of the car? This man is so heavy. No, it was Dwayne. Dwayne D. What was his wife's age range? I don't know. I didn't talk to her much. Yeah, what's the age range? Dwayne, he was in his 30s.

Really? A young, white Dwayne. Well, I don't know how young that is. He might have been in his 30s. There's no way you had a YWD. Yeah. I think I have one. Young, white, short, and dewey.

He said, he'd be hard to find. Yeah, we're going to snag him up ASAP. I'm going to say he was 35. Probably. What was his frame? Yeah, give us the frame. Be nice. He saved your life.

White Sox Dave. Okay. White Sox Dave, one of the strongest humans I've ever met. Yeah, I got the sense DeWayne was a strong guy. Yeah. Yeah. White Sox Dave. Okay. White Sox Dave, one of the strongest humans I've ever met. Yeah, I got the sense Dwayne was a strong guy. Yeah. Yeah. White Sox Dave. He's probably 5'8", you know, good, solid 190, 195.

What was his car like? Do you remember? Oh, he had a red Chevy Silverado. Oh, that's huge. Best car in the world. Oh, you know his car? He had a nice car. Well, I know the car he was driving. All right.

I want to make it a little bit harder for them. Don't get that specific on the truck. I'm not even going to include that. I want them to put the pieces together. In my dream world, a lot of the volunteer Bubbas have dash cams on their cars just because of it. In my dream world, he had

a dash cam. Yeah, we could get that. That would be great footage. Respectfully. If we find Dwayne, he's hired. What do I have to do for him? Give him $500? More. More? Yeah, I think.

If he truly saved your life, I would pay someone more than $500. Okay. Take him fishing on your boat. Now the question is, did he truly save your life? He probably has a different set of events than I have. Yeah. We'll see. But I'd take him fishing on the boat and give him $1,000.

Nice. If no one had showed up, would you have just sat there for a long time? I think I would eventually amble to the side of the road myself. I don't know if I would realize the car could drive to the side of the road. It would have just sat there and probably gotten hit eventually. It was something.

Hey, can we do the Japanese thing again? I would love to. Did you see this, Brandon? What Japanese thing? This was when I had to mute the Yak account the last two weeks because they started watching these Japanese races, and I was like, this is like my dream. The horse races? Oh, yeah, the giraffe that came down.

Yeah. The FOMO went off the charts. Yeah, it was rough. He said it yesterday. I don't know if you guys heard. Do you know TJ can speak a little Japanese? What? Oh, TJ, I have another thing for you.

Yes. Speak Japanese first. So to say, can I have a ball, please, is... Whoa. Deeper. Deeper voice, please. Little Tay is not dead. Confirmed not dead.

Confirmed not dead? TMZ. What? TMZ confirmed not dead. Confirmed not dead. Confirmed not dead? Confirmed? TMZ. What? TMZ confirmed? A saga. She went to TMZ with a statement. She said her Instagram got hacked.

What? Hacked or her parents? My Instagram account was compromised by a third party and used to spread misinformation and rumors regarding me to the point not even my name was correct. My legal name is Tay Tian, not Claire Hope, as the statement alleged. Wow. That is a depraved hacking job. It was an official death note. Or it's a fake hacking job, and it's just a publicity stunt. Because she did one that said, help me, a few, like last year, too.

And that wasn't. A fake one for publicity? I mean, that's what her entire personality is. I did wonder why she would be called Little Kay if her name was Claire. Well, made up. He's a big cat. Yeah. What were you saying about Carl, Mike, and Acton?

Holy shit, I never realized. What? Yeah. He did, Steven. He realized. Right now. No, he, yeah. Okay.

TJ, your dad once drank 20 root beers at Cheesecake Factory? That's a fully true story. What? It was to the point where my mom was like cutting him off because she was concerned what he was doing. So wait, he was going for the rush? When did she realize he was doing something? I think I ate root beers. I'm man enough to admit that I've never been more wrong about my Tim Hitchens loser take.

Ever since that moment, everything that I learn about this guy is just winner. How many root beers? So he found out that it was unlimited root beers. And he's not even that big of a soda guy. He's like a soda every once in a while type guy. But he was just in a root beer mood, I guess. And he said, let me push all you can drink to the... He went to the bathroom like five or six times.

Oh, my God. So does your mom cut him off? My mom and I will lock eyes and know that my dad is doing something weird. It'll be like usually he's eating corn on the cob or something. He has food all over his face. Me and my mom will just start laughing and not tell him what's going on. But we knew something was up because he was like,

he would get two root beers and ask for two more when they put the potato in. Wait, so at what number were you like, did it go from, this is weird to, oh my God, this is impressive. What went from dad's thirsty

to dad's doing something? Dad is the coolest guy. Probably his second bathroom trip. Did he ever verbalize that he was attempting a feat? No, no. He just never talked about it. So it was love of the game. Two more root beers, please.

And we're like, two? You need two root beers? He's like, yeah, it's unlimited. Did he stop because of your mom? Or was he finally like, guys, I was doing something. I think he just hit his fix and he was good to go. 20. He had to have such a tummy. What did he say, he hit his fix and he was good to go. 20. He had to have such a tummy.

What did he say when you guys got to like the car afterwards? Like, you guys see what I did? I don't know if you guys noticed, but that was 20 root beers. Damn, I must have had like 20 root beers, right?

Yeah, dad. I mean, TJ. Well, no, I'm not going to do it. Can he come to the case race and drink root beers he can drink beers no but I want the root beers watching him drink

four dozen I want to see him get to like 24 this was many years ago I don't know if he has that dog in him anymore so his root beer days are behind him 12 to 15 years ago. I don't know if he has that dog in him anymore. Oh. So his root beer days are behind him.

This must have been 12 to 15 years ago, I would say. Can we... All right. Maybe not Case Race. Could he come to Stu's house and sit in the background

and just... And silently, not mic'd up. Yeah, we have a root beer ticker going the whole day and maybe we don't end the show until Tim Hitchings gets 30 root beers.

30 root beers. What's the world record on root beers consumed in one hour? How's a man act after 10 root beers? Yes, was he wild now? Yeah, he was a little bit jittery, I guess. But he also ate probably like a mac and cheese cheeseburger

and like a piece of cheesecake. So he was all sorts of dairyed up to. What running back is number 30? Todd Gurley? What? Oh. Todd Gurley, Austin Eckler.

Okay, yeah. Is it a Gurley challenge? The Gurley challenge, yeah. It's RB30, yeah. The Gurley root beer challenge. The RB30. It's a Gurley.

Yeah, the Gurley challenge, yeah. Oh, man. We have to have him do it TJ Just sitting I imagine Stu's house We're going to sit on his back patio And Tim Hitching just sitting It'd actually be funny if he was comically in the background

Way back Yeah like 50 feet away from us Just sitting at a little table In a pile of root beer cans. Yeah, in a pile of root beer cans. Oh, I hope he sprints the first lap. So people can just see him in the background chugging root beer. Guzzling.

I don't want him to chug. I want him to drink them with a straw, ice. We'll get him a cooler with ice. Yeah, I want him to have fun. Yeah, and he just goes crazy with root beer. Maybe we get a root beer sponsorship for him. Man. Root beer, 20 root beers. with root beer. Maybe we get a root beer sponsorship for him. Man. 20 root beers.

For the love of the game. What restaurant was it? Cheesecake Factory. That makes it funnier. Yeah. And ours is in a mall, so we probably walked around the mall for a little bit after, too. Just a belly full of root beer. You wouldn't want to cross a man with a belly full of root beer.

He would have had to have... He was actually wasted, I bet, too. Tim, haven't you had enough? Shut up, bitch. He's afraid he's going to get the belt when dad gets on his root beer. Yeah, I do have a cranky. Dad comes home with float on the breath.

You know you're in for it. I can smell mug from all over. Barks. My dad got on his bike. Barks. Thank you, Connor. Connor. I've been wanting a delicious C4.

I will get my own, but I do. No, we have more, I think. Someone else got some more. Bring a couple more. Connor, yeah, thanks. Ice cold C4. Strawberry watermelon on ice. Oh, that's actually.

I've never had strawberry watermelon. Do these get you jittery? No. It's great energy. Anyone else want some C4? I would love one. Connor, would you like to talk about the fact that your show sucked? Dog shit, dude.

Yeah, yeah. Give him a mic, Steven. I was 11. That was the first time I ever got onto a camera. Do us a favor. Texas and Oklahoma, what's the game they play for? Red River. Well, no, it's not that anymore.

It's the Red River Rivalry. It was the showdown. Five times fast. I'm not going to be able to do that. The dude's about to relapse. The dude's about to wee-lapse. Red River Rivalry. Red River Rivalry River rivalry, Red River rivalry, Red River rivalry. I can't do it.

I'll work on that. I'll work on it. But you didn't have a speech impediment, did you? So I used to. Oh, that doesn't make it funny. Yeah, it does. Dude, we don't have pen anymore. It's true.

Not when I recorded the videos. I had one. But you caught it. You could see that you caught it. You's true. Not when I recorded the videos. I had one. But you caught it. You could see that you caught it. You were disappointed. Yeah, you were so mad. You actually looked like the guy who said the N-word on the video. God damn it.

That is your N-word. Because I had to do it. I had to do it all in one take, and I was like such a perfectionist. Why did you have to do it all in one take? You weren't live. Because I didn't know how to edit a show. I had no i was it was my parents computer that i strapped like a logitech webcam on that and i was just like okay i'm just gonna let it rip

was it all just sports facts and stats or did you tackle anything controversial oh you get picks you get picks oh i made good picks, by the way. What's the YouTube? I can't say that. What's the name of the show? I can't say that. I know where it is. I can't. I was telling them in the car yesterday. I can't delete the episodes because I don't have the password to the account.

But I know the account, and I'm not giving that up to anybody. But, yeah, that was the first time I ever got on camera. I was talking about sports. I was 11. But there were people who really, really liked my pics Hey Who? Non-family members

That's weird for them I had people from Oregon Commenting on the videos, they were like, dude These are great It was really, really strange But they found me somehow Nobody will find me here These are great. I was like, all right. It was really, really strange. But they found me somehow. Nobody will find me here. These are great.

We should meet up sometime. Yeah, man. Talk about North Shore football. Incredible pics, little boy. Were you watching Lima? It's just a bunch of pedophiles watching the pics. Yeah. I was like, I had the biggest fans in the world.

They kept on asking me to meet up in Walmart parking lot. You had to do a meet and greet. It was a very monitored thing where i never said anything about like my personal life like i got my parents to like check the video make sure that like everything was good before i posted it your credit cards were sitting on the counter yeah they were that was the first video where i was like yeah it doesn't matter and then i tried to spruce it up did you see i put like hats in the background and oh no oh, no. Let's see that one. Oh, there was another. There were other videos. Yeah.

So not just the Red River. Why would we? Oh. Oh, a globe. It's Georgia Tech. Fancy. This was another tough game. But then I thought, hey, Georgia Tech did beat Clemson at home.

And they have that kind of crazy offense. This is garbage. Fuck this kid. Explain this. Tommy Walker would beat your ass. Oh, my God. Boom. It was all in his... Don't cope.

I'd like to think I've improved a lot since I was 11. But hear me out. Now watch it again, but pretend you're a 57-year-old pedophile. This is great. It was all just like off the top of my head, and I was trying to learn how to be a

broadcaster, so to speak. I was like, yeah, just try it out. That was back like OG YouTube days. And between you and me, where did you grow up? What, a school district? A school district? Yeah. He's going to try to find the YouTube.

No. I'm not going to tell you the school district. What town? He's going to find the YouTube. What county? Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. There's a lot of school districts. Dan, did you ever film yourself doing sports commentary?

No. Did you? Did you ever do it? Did you? Yeah, I did it. Yeah. yeah i mean i love the hustle i would record commentary over my nintendo baseball games that's awesome yeah i wish we could find that yeah i wish i could find that too but i used to do it all the time so thank you yeah yeah i'm assuming you're yeah coming to my my help i am this is this was a normal thing all right it did suck they're right, no. Also, those are the first episodes.

There's two separate things going on. One is I love the fact that you were like 11 and being like hustling like that. Yeah. But it sucked. Every Wednesday, I would go into my study

at my house. But that was the first season. And then the reason why I didn't send any videos later on, I did it for three years. By the time, if you see the progression

from that in terms of like my voice, my teeth, my hair, to what I was doing then in eighth grade, my voice was like, it's really, really weird. Did the pedophiles like you as much in the eighth grade? No. The viewership started plummeting. Honestly, the viewership did go down. Because it lost the luster. I think it was a,

I think it was just like a little kid. You lost that boyish charm. Luster is the word. He's a cute kid making pics. And now it's lust. Oh, it's just lust. He's just straight up lust. It's great that you're fully realizing

that you're just going to pedophile. No, no, no. Yeah, no, you did. These dudes love podcasts. It was an Oregon Ducks podcast. It was an Oregon Ducks podcast who would reach out and they'd be like, hey, keep, no. Yeah, no, you did. These dudes love podcasts. It was an Oregon Ducks podcast. It was an Oregon Ducks podcast who would reach out, and they'd be like, hey, keep it up. You're doing a great job.

And that's, hey, they pushed me to keep making videos. Now, maybe they wanted the videos for a different reason. Yeah, yeah. Okay, fine, whatever. Well. It got you here? Sure. Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Did they ask you that? No, it did. Do you have any other videos? Yeah. Maybe a shirtless? Did they ever ask you that no it did do you have any other videos yeah maybe shirtless did you work at barcelona sports like you were doing something that you ended up leading to your your dream job yeah yeah that was that's a mission accomplished that's a good way of putting it the start was i would do um i'd be a pa announcer for like my little league games love it where i'd be in the booth and they don't now batting it was like my friends who were playing and i would like just say their names but then it was then that with the youtube show and then yeah i guess one by one and then you got an iconic voice you have one of the best voices in the office anything that works right now for your voice

for my voice yeah there's any plans i mean there's some stuff i don't know like case race should we give you an intro there so there is i don't know. Case race? Should we give you an intro? There is – I don't want to say. Okay. There is stuff. Found the channel. He found the channel. No.

Look at his face. What do you want to say? He's devastated. Chad found it in less than five minutes. Oh, no. He's got it. Oh, no. He's got it. Oh, no. There's zero chance they can find that.

What do you mean? They got it. We got you. Oh, we got you. Oh, we got you, brother. It's the weirdest name. Oh, no. What's the name?

Well, I'm not saying. I'm not going to regurgitate it. Chad, if they want to run with it, run with it. Well, we're going to pull this up. I'm not going to be not going to regurgitate it. Chad, if they want to run with it, run with it. Well, we're going to pull this up. I'm not going to be the person to give it up. If they find it, they find it. I'm not going to be the one who says it. Oh, no.

The Innocent Boys Sports Network. It was, again, I'll preface it. It was the first time I was ever on camera, and I was doing it as a way of getting experience in sports broadcasting because I knew that's what I wanted to do. I love it. No one should shame it. We're not actually judging you, Nick. I know you're not.

Thankfully, I won't be getting notifications for that account because I haven't been able to log in in 10 years. Perfect. But I know that they now know it. I promise you we won't watch anything when you leave. Were you just watching it? Yeah, we were watching it. Sounds leave. Thanks so much. Were you just watching it? Yeah, we were watching it. Okay.

Sounds good. Thanks so much, Scoof. Is that it? Yeah, I just went into chat. Oh, what a name. I love Connor. That was a nickname. I had.

There was like, I'm not going to say it. Yeah. Whatever. Bye. We love you. Connor. Great.

Great work. Oh, Connor's the best. He did. I mean, Steve was in the car. He was like, I didn't ask for it.

He was just like, I did this. Like, you guys ever want to watch it? Like, it'd be funny. He did. I mean, Steve was in the car. He was like, I didn't ask for it. He was just like, I did this. Like, you guys ever want to watch it? Like, it'd be funny. I was like, yeah, let's fucking watch it. Oh, yeah, he did. What a catalog he had. Oh, Connor's the best. Shout out to the chat, man.

Yeah. Chat. Yeah, thank you, chat. You guys are the best. Impressive work. You guys are the best. Oh, the chat found it? Yeah.

Oh, no. Pick up to the chat. Should, the chat found it? Yeah. Pickups to the chat. Should we watch? Can we do one Japanese race before we get to the wheel? I'm looking at the comments just like, great video, little man. You really crushed it this week, little man. Everybody's calling him little man.

You don't know Chris Hansen, do you? Oh, man. Sandals next time, little man. I got to get you a drink next time here in my city. Fucking great. Oh, he did this for a long time. Yeah, no, he put it. I really, truly, like, I respect the hell out of him. Yeah, that's awesome.

That's so cute. And again, he has his dream job. There has to be. There's definitely. It's not a one-to-one correlation, but someone who is doing that at a young age, interested in that, leads him to a job like this. I would be pumped if my son was doing something like this. Yeah.

Yeah, I would love that. He's too busy gnawing on humans. And not sleeping in his bed. That's true. His trap bed. Don't blame him. That's true. That's true. His trap bed. Don't blame him. That's true.

He was next to me last night. Oh, fuck. You want to spin the wheel, TJ? Oh, we'll do this first, yeah. Is this one you guys have not watched? Haven't seen. This is, they show you all the horses first. Who wants one?

That one's strutting. Fuck it, I'll take, oh, Kate's. You take it. Okay, sorry, I like this one. No, the guy looks sick. Kate's going with one.'s strutting. You take it. Okay, sorry. I like this one. I like this guy a lot. I like that bravado. Yeah, me too. Should we play for 20 points? Sure.

Oh, look at those ladies there. Should we play for 20 bucks? Alright, 20 bucks. So everyone puts 20 in the pot. Winner gets all. No thanks. Who wants two? Give them to me. But I'm not doing this because I'm horny. I won with this one last time.

Alright, I'll take them. Red pompadour. I'll take three. If Stefan wins, he owes us the money. Yeah. Fair. That's fair as hell.

Mm-hmm. I like this one. All right. Steven's got four. Was that a ninja star brand? Oh, that's a ninja on top. The whole face is covered. The horse is wearing a ninja suit.

Oh, I just thought it was a black horse. Or a burka. Could be. I like the purple. The horse is wearing a ninja suit. Oh, I just thought it was a black horse. Or a burka. Could be, yeah. I like the purple. What flag is this? Russia? No. Oh!

Brandon! Take five. Brandon! Aw, damn. Oh, shit, Brandon. God damn, that's awesome. That is so fucking sweet. Hell yes.

Dwayne? It's like White Sox days. Yes, me. Oh, the Trojan. Oh. No, that's just a regular horseman. It's a kid. I have confidence this won't break.

I wonder what's inside. All right. I wonder what's inside. Alright. What the fuck is that? Is that a big cock? Who's got that, Stefan? This one is a surprise reveal, I guess. I don't know why. Oh, it's definitely a cock.

If it's Bhutan. Who's got this one, TJ? TJ, do you have this one? Sure. Alright, so Stefan definitely a cock. If it's Bhutan. All right, who's got this one? TJ? TJ? I've already seen it. TJ, do you have this one? Sure. All right, so Stefan's got eight. Oh, sorry, Stefan. Wait, this is an extra leg.

Wow, they updated their tech. Six legs. That could be pretty fat. No, I don't think three people are faster than a horse. They're probably... Well, then two. Yeah. All right, so everyone knows their number?

Everyone knows their number? 20 bucks each? So the winner gets 140? We'll play for this $50 bill, too. I'll put it up. Whoa! There was a ninth. Oh, there's a ninth?

There's a ninth horse? It's Mecca! It's a mech! If the ninth horse? Whoa! It's Mecca! It's a mech! If the ninth horse wins, we have to play again. Yes. Double or nothing. Yeah! I don't want to see what's going on.

Everyone know their numbers? Yeah. All right. Have you guys gotten the flow of who you think will win when you're halfway through? Don't have a clue. It's always the last. The first 99% does not matter. It's always a close race at the end.

You don't want to be winning early. I'll say that much. Or maybe you do. Oh, my God. Kyle. I'm winning early. Fuck. Yeah, you're done.

Fuck. Are you asleep at the wheel? I think so. It feels like I'm burning. Okay, where's my double sluts? Oh, there they are. Head and ass. Brandon, you're working.

I'm doing good. I'm right where I need to be. Ninja. I feel good about this. Yeah, that's cool. This thing's going fast. Faster than I thought it would. I would predict that five is going to win. All right, something's cool. This thing's going fast. Faster than I thought it would. I would predict that five is going to win.

All right. Something's about to happen. It's a Yeti! There's me. Not exactly an advantage. I don't know why they blur it. That's Stefan. Unless the Yeti has a big cock.

There's the map. Something big. Come on. Three. Okay. Big cat's going first. This is not good. Who would have thunk?

Never saw that coming. Who would have thunk? Does that guy always explode? Or when? There's nothing in between. Look at that. Here comes CJ. A DK.

Whoa. Where's the girlies? Oh, look at my eye! He's on top! Oh, your guy's dancing, Kyle. Oh, what? Wait, what? What is that? What did I just pull out?

Like a jet engine? Look at the ladies! Oh, hell yeah! Whoa! What is that? What did I just pull out? Is that a blow dryer? Look at the ladies! Oh, hell yeah! Okay. Oh! Oh, baby! Oh, shit. On the ninja?

What did I put on? Oh! Oh! No! Are you about to take everyone out? No! No! No. That doesn't count if it wins. No. Brandon, are you about to take everyone out? No. No. No. What?

What a win. Brandon. Wow. You needed that, buddy. I did. I did. It felt good. Holy shit.

Going straight to the Dwayne fund. That was incredible. What a win. I did not see that coming. I thought the five might win, but not that way. Damn. Not that way. Wow.

Give me that fake 50. Congratulations. That's real. That's real. I don't know where it went. Double or nothing. Whatever. Hold it.

Why do you have a 50? Dinner. Wait, what? have a 50? Dinner. Wait, what? I paid you? Yeah. He cleaned his plate so much. The dishwasher didn't have to do anything. 50?

Here's a 50, sir. Yeah, pretty much. Kid can eat. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Should we spin the wheel, TJ? I'm happy the yak worked out today. Oh, fuck. Should we spin the wheel, TJ? I'm happy the act worked out today.

I've had some good laughs. Good laughs. Tomorrow, Steven and TJ and possibly Roan. Maybe Sass and Roan. I think Sass and Philly, Roan. Possibly. I will do a solo show. That's what we have to do.

Well, I have a YouTube account you could do a watch party with oh, we deserved it. We deserved it. Is there a shower? We deserved it. How do you get wet here? There is not a shower. We have lots of water. We have lots of water.

That would be a bad look for waste. No. Last time we were here and it came on wet. P. Pissed. No, we have some body armor. Whoever has to get wet will have to get wet outside. And a piss is only for a sweep. Yeah. And, Stephan, you are definitely on the way. Oh, Stephan, some body armor. Whoever has to get wet will have to get wet outside. And a piss is only for a sweep.

Yeah. And, Stephan, you are definitely on the winning list. Oh, Stephan, you are 100%. And so is the Scoof Master. So is Scoof Master. I wish he'd explained that. I'm going to walk in right now. Scoof Master.

Yo, Scoof Master. He's changed the handle now. We're never calling you anything else. I think he's listening live, so he's about to get to this part. He's about to hear Scoop Master. He's changed the handle now. We're never calling you anything else. I think he's listening live, so he's about to get to this part. He's about to hear Scoop Master. Keep listening. He's kind of... I need to know the origin.

Have you gotten to this part yet? Are you listening live? I'm 30 seconds behind. All right, okay, wait. Put your headphones back on. Oh, you heard it? What is the origin now? Now I want to know because you started to

tell us but then you... We were like 10 years old and my baseball team, there was a kid who just made up this secret language that only he knew and he would just call us random names and one of them that he gave me was Scoof. And so they called me

Scoof Master and that was it. I was 11. Well, Scoof. And so they called me Scoofmaster. And that was it. I was 11. I love it. All right, well, Scoof, you're on the wheel. Thank you. Let's spin the wheel. That's not going to stick. There we go.

No, no. The wheel is just. We needed to get wet. Yeah, we did. By the way, everyone can please subscribe, like up the video. We stopped doing that a while ago. Just start doing that again.

That helps, yeah. It does help. What is it at now? 121. We should get to 125 by the case race. Please subscribe. And thumbs up. All right, spin it, TJ.

Spin that shit. New Scoofmaster video. If we hit 125, bring the account back. It's on the password. Oh, yeah, that's right. You can forgot password. I assume you have access to that old email. It's an old email.

Scoofmaster at AOL. Yeah, no, no, no. Eliminator? Yeah. Yeah. Jay Drive. Jay Drive. I have a bad feeling about myself here. Just kidding.

Stop. Nice. Oh, that worked perfectly. you should try that next day no no no so you got a bad feeling no i might deserve this probably do tj safe i mean i think we all know who deserves it i feel like big Big Cat and TJ deserved to not get wet after this week of... There you go, Nick. There's only one name that the wheel should be picking right now. We all know it.

And it's not the Scoof Master. Yeah, but it's... It's going to be Kyle. It's not the Scoof Master. I'm not rooting for the Scoof... Oh, fuck! It's going to be me. It's going to be Scoof Master.

I was going to go to a a fire station get a hose for Stefan just fucking blast them way to go scoop in the chat it's a good nickname yeah thank god Scoof, scoof, scoof, scoof, scoof. It's a good nickname. That is a good nickname. It's a great nickname. Yeah, thank God.

Okay. There you go, KB. At least there's two people. Brandon, there's two people that live here. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's all right. All right, so this is...

Did you just spin? No. Okay. A sweep is piss. A sweep is piss. A sweep is piss. You want your name now. Four out of seven or one? I do want my name. Four out is piss. A sweep is piss. You want your name now. Four out of seven or one?

I do want my name. Four out of seven. You want your name. You're up one nothing. I would like to see a Brandon piss. We'll get you some piss. Yeah, I'll get you some piss. I'll get you some piss, boy.

No piss. I'll find you some piss. Someone else can piss on you. All right, no piss one one Just gonna go stand right out there and we'll just dump water on you Steven will do it In the street, right? Yeah yeah that's three one got to take a little bird back shirt there

oh the comeback oh come on come on on. The comeback. Oh, no. Three, two. Don't tell me it's going to be three, three. Oh, Brandon. Womp womp. All right, Steven, can you go take care of that for us? Maybe Scoof, you help out as well. It's just Scoof forever now.

Scoof, go help him. I will never call him anything other than Scoop. Forgot his real name. I will never call him. I forgot Darian from yesterday. Oh, the baby's waiting. I know. The guy, Darian, who won the

sweeps for Bolero was awesome because I was like, so do you bowl a lot? And he was just like, no, I got two kids, so I just try to get out of the house. I was like, yeah. He was a great guy. Still is. Great. Yeah, still alive. Yeah, he's right there. I think Barstool

Radio is starting right now. We'll be done in a second. So I think that's on the Barstool Sports YouTube. If you want to go watch that after this. But we got to see Wet Brandon first. Yep. Che has three large bottles. I think that should be enough. I guess do it on the street.

Oh, did you want Mince to come in? Nah. No? Okay. Does he work here again? He might. He might. Mincey is one of those guys that you don't want to push it.

You want to let it come to you. He will. You know? Yeah. And he does every time. You don't have to force anything. You just got to let him just be Mincy and then capture that. Yeah.

He's essentially like Sonic the Hedgehog. Every now and then he bumps into something. You just want to be behind him to grab those coins. We just go scurry and pick them all up. We were thinking, what's the least you could do potentially to sustain a conversation with him?

The least you could do? I think he would talk to a dead guy for an hour. I think you could go no words. I think you just say, seen any shows? I don't think you need to no words. I think you should just say, seen any shows. And then you have at least a half hour. I don't think you need to leave him that. Really?

If you say what's new, that's two and a half hours. That's true. Or just sup? Are you thinking a head nod could get you? I think it's below words. Head nod could get you. I think it's zero words, maybe zero gestures. I actually agree with you.

A head, no gestures. Just walk in front of him? Yes. No gestures. That's the challenge. I want him head. It's no gestures. Just walk in front of him. Yes. No gestures. That's the challenge. I want him. The Mincy challenge. I want to hear him do a best man speech and not talk about the bride.

We should do. That should be one of our things happening right now. Get us. Get us world record. How long can you have a conversation with a man with no words, no gestures, no eye contact. He does your eulogy. Oh, man. Never mentions you. gestures, no eye contact. He does your eulogy. Oh, man. Never mentions you.

Oh, here comes Brandon. Sopping. Wet as the dickens. There he is. How did he get wetter from three bottles than we do in a shower? He really...

What was that? All right, that's it. Wait, Brandon, what are you doing? Come in here. Come in here. Show yourself, yeah. We're ending the show right now. This is how he probably looked when he got out of the car.

He's shivering already. Why don't you take the things out of your pockets, you big oaf? What's in your pockets? Put them back in. You're wet. Four body armor bottles. Good water. Thank you, too.

Good water. All right. Thank you, everyone. This was refreshing for the soul. I feel good. Steven, TJ, and possibly Roan tomorrow. I'll bring some other people in. Yeah.

Go watch Barstool Radio. I think they're live right now on the Barstool Sports YouTube. And please like and subscribe to the Yak. We're going to find our way. That helps with the algorithm. The confidence is coming back to me. Yes. All right.

See you guys. Oh, man. It's your dog, yeah Silent day, for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, time is talk Shopping, doing Yankees Love is the act It's the act Bye. Have a good weekend. I mean, see you tomorrow in New York. Bye.