The Yak - Do Tik Tokers Get Girls For The Boys? | The Yak 10-20-21

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Crazy cause I went to Harvard tooYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right, Welcome in. The Yak. Sass is out. But the man, the myth, the legend is here. Frank the Tank. Frank Thursday.

Can you show Frank real quick? Hey, Frank. Oh, Jersey Jerry. I'm not Frank. What? Good point. You ain't Frank. You never will be either.

But you are honest. Jersey Jerry, you DM'd me about a couple years ago, and I didn't realize until a couple days ago. What'd I say? Oh, yeah, he DM'd everyone. Anything good or no? No, you were just trying to pitch yourself, and I must not have taken it seriously.

How long ago? How many years? It says, check my page out. I got some good content. I am the Steeler's suicide kid. From a few years back, I went viral on Barstool. Yeah. I must have glossed over it.

Yeah. You called yourself a kid, a suicide kid. Yeah. Didn't know what that meant. There's a suicide girl. There's such a thing as a suicide girl. Yeah. Didn't know what that meant. There's a suicide girl. There's such thing as a suicide girl. Suicide girl. Catherine Langford had asked.

He said, in February 2020, Big Cat, it's Jersey Jerry, the Steeler suicide guy. Ask Dave if the job is still available. I don't look at my DMs. Yeah, I'm so used to getting trolled. No one ever sends me serious messages. Yeah. So I'm sorry. Big Cat, this is August 26th. Big Cat, I want Kevin Conley in Rough and Rowdy. I want. So I'm sorry. Big Cat. This is August 26th.

Big Cat. I want Kevin Conley in Rough and Rowdy. I want to crumple him, Big Cat. I lose sleep yesterday because I want to smash him like Khabib smashed Connor. It's the Steelers guy. Suicide guy. Dishes nothing. Mm-hmm.

And then he said, maybe we get lunch? Oh, wait. No, that was his DM to Erica. Come on. Oh, wait, no, that was his DM to Erica. Come on. She listen to the show or not? No. That was one of my favorite things that Jerry texted me like the week after. He was like, big cat, I got to tell you something, but it's like very important.

I DM'd Erica asking her to lunch before I got hired. Is this a problem? And I was like, no, it's no problem. And then I realized he DMed her like two days before he got hired. I thought it was like three years ago. You know. Worth a chance. Yeah.

What was your intent? Well, just to, you know, pitch her myself. You know what I mean? Try to get a job. Yeah. It's good to have you here, though, Jerry. Where would you have taken her to lunch? I don't know.

Good question. Maybe Porta in Jersey City. Okay. Jersey City. You would have had her come to Porta. Jersey City. I like that spot. Yeah.

Get a nice corner booth. Yeah. They got a downstairs. They got a basement. Oh. In the daytime though you go down there and you get out of the light.

Yeah. Maybe. Maybe it would have been dinner. Now that I'm thinking about it it probably would have been dinner light. Maybe. Maybe it would have been dinner. Now that I'm thinking about it, it probably would have been dinner. Yeah. It would have been dinner, some drinks, some wine. Not for me. No.

For her. For her. Come on, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. Trying to pull him off the wagon? Jesus. I wasn't trying to. What's up, boys?

Why are the vibes so low? They're not low. They're not low. I'm distracted by KB's beauty. Dan, look me in the face. You look beautiful. Do you have makeup on? Oh, he's loaded.

I was hoping it wasn't obvious. They were doing the makeup for the NFL show, and Kyle just walked in there and sat down, and they just did it. You didn't say a word. I did not even speak to her. I sat down, and I did some gestures, and she just started doing me up.

You have an Instagram filter on. My rosacea. You can't even tell I have rosacea. I sat down and I did some gestures and she just started doing me up. You have an Instagram filter on. My rosacea. You can't even tell I have rosacea. IRL. Don't say that. IRL. We had a big trivia game. The Yak. We lost. Fuck. We fucked up. Did you guys do any

schoolboy slapstick theatrics that would annoy the fans? No. Did you shit on the show no didn't do anything i didn't even protest my incorrect question because i got it wrong you did get it wrong i got it wrong yeah i always fuck up mike d'antonio and mark d'antoni i just did it again reverse it mark d'antonio mike d'antoni those two guys for the rest of time i will be like question myself it's's like, whenever you spell... There is a Mark D'Antoni, too.

Isn't his brother Mark? Oh, maybe. Yeah, one of his assistant coaches. Yeah, Mark D'Antoni. So that's a guy. There's certain words, whenever I spell, I want to say couch, I think I'm spelling coach. Shit like that. Yeah.

Maybe dyslexic. I don't know. But either way, bad game by us, good game by Team Kirk. It's amazing watching you grow up right before my eyes. You're finally taking trivia seriously. The game that's played on boards or in bars. I did have someone comment last night being like, you got to lighten up with trivia.

It's not Jeopardy. I just wanted to be like, that is my fucking point. But nope. We're the good boys now. Play it straight. Doesn't seem like you guys are as good when you're serious. No, we just had a bad game. Bad games happen.

It fell away. We made like three mistakes. I had a tough game. No, we actually, it was one of those losses that's great to have because you can go and review the tape. We've already had a conversation amongst the team members. We are very loose with our lips in the game. We give away

a lot of answers. We don't get focused. So we're going to get focused. Say their questions were easier. Man, say their questions. You're all trying to force excuses out of us. You don't want an excuse from us. We sucked. We're a teen point of game-game team, like 13, 14, 15.

Right. It was a bad game for us. We scored, what, 7-6? Yeah, terrible game for us. We beat ourselves. Whose fault was it? Kirk's team did well, though. No, they did do well.

I don't think it was anyone's fault, honestly. We just didn't play. None of us played well. Whose fault do you think it was? I admittedly got rattled. There we go. Steven did get rattled. I could have played better.

I think I could have played better. Also, we... I left some meat on the bone. We learned not to do games during Monday Night Football when I am sweating out of bed. See my mood sour as the Bills-Titans over felt like it was hopeless. The audio was also extremely distracting. But no excuse. But wait, that over cruised.

No, it did not in the first half. You guys are keeping these terms in my head. The Bills kicked two field goals. I'm sweating off, sweating out an over. What did you just say? He said the over-cruised. The over-cruised. Once it got going, I guess you were watching when it wasn't going.

Yeah, when it was like the Bills were just kicking field goals. The problem is you're playing against Jeff D. Lowe, so you just have to think of all the – I've been framing everything for playing against Jeff D. Lowe, so you just have to think of all the... I've been framing everything through what would Jeff D. Lowe think. You're never playing your opponent, you're playing the course. And whoever...

If someone else wrote all the questions, I would think about them all differently, but I'm always like, oh, who is in Jeff D. Lowe's frame of reference? Right. Who's his passing cone? I've got to play at 2.30. Oh, wow.

Who are you playing? The troops. Champ, Skate, and Billy. Call me if you need an answer. I've got to play at 2.30. Oh, wow. Who are you playing? The Troops. Champ, Skate, and Billy. Call me if you need an answer. I will be around. Zach, can we play that video that I sang last night? Good one. Just kick it off.

I DM'd him. He asked me to. This one again? No, this is totally new. A new? Sorry, I've got a bunch, so... Why don't you try? He's always happy.

He will get this wrong, even though he's crying. So is this kid just a good crier? What is this? I don't like this. How does he hold his tears, though? He's a good weller. How does he hold his tears, though? He's a good weller. Yeah, he wells well.

It's like Bonzi. Is he doing this for girls? I think so. It is for girls. I don't understand. What do the boys, what is his male peers, how do they perceive him? I think he probably only hangs out with male peers that do that. But there is a whole sect of guys that do that in any given high school. I think being a pussy is the new cool.

Yes, absolutely. Showing your emotions. Being it's okay to not be okay. I do like the fact in that video, though, the student off camera was like, why would you ask Calvin? He's always happy as he's crying. Yeah. In class.

Isn't that right, Calvin? Calvin, you're always happy. Calvin's just that happy. But I think that they're not getting pussy for their boys. These guys are just getting pussy for themselves. Yeah. You get pussy for your boys. You get pussy.

You almost always. Exclusively. I'm doing it for putting the team on my back, and I want to be seen getting pussy. And you've never explicitly even said that. No, that's how it is. Exclusively. I'm doing it for putting the team on my back and I want to be seen getting pussy. And you've never explicitly even said that. No, that's how it is. You do it. Yeah. You're trying to put the squad on your back.

But he's just doing it for the girls. He's getting pussy for himself, his own penis. And he doesn't care how he looks to the boys. I guess that's how it should be. Selfish pussy getter. Yeah. You're trying to carry all the boys. You're trying to put them all under your flag

and fucking wave that thing like Iwo Jima, bro. Just fucking wave. That was college. I didn't care about actually physically coming or having sex. I wanted my boys to know I did. Right. Steve Nash. Oh, yeah.

Just dishing the rock. Right. Who's coached by? Mark D'Antoni. Oh. Oh. No. You got to really say the apostrophe if you want to differentiate them.

D'Antonio. D'Antonio. Do you have any regrets about not going to college? I got kicked out. Okay. So, yeah? Not really. Because in your retrospective video, it's like your college age is yours.

You were on one. Yeah. You were living one. Were you doing college type activities no but this is barstool's the greatest equalizer i still i still remember the one moment uh when francis was having a bad day and he uh i think belittled robbie fox and being like i went to harvard blah blah you didn't go to college and robbie was like we have the same job so barstool was like you could go to a nice

college, but you work here. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You could have a master's degree. You could have a PhD or something. You could have worked on Wall Street or some shit. It doesn't matter. It's really the one place like, Glennie Balls dropped out of college. He's fucking crushing it. Same job title as Riggs.

Yeah, he's crushing it. I might just say I went to Harvard. Why not? All right. Yeah, I went to Harvard. Nice. Hartford? You want us to help with that?

No, I think it's already done now. That's the magic of this. A little tip, though, if you're going to say it, maybe say a little school in Cambridge. That's what Harvard people there. That's what people that didn't go to Harvard would say. Oh. Oh. Wow.

Humble. Or not humble, I guess. So our listeners sent in a couple videos. I know. I have a feeling I know what one is. We probably need Sass here for it. Okay. So he can explain himself a little bit.

Oh, wait. So he can explain himself? No, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Please. Roast him mercilessly. By the way, TravisMatthew.com slash yak.

Yummy, yummy, yum. Girl, you've got that yummy, yum. This is a message to a very special girl out there. The girl watching this right now.

You've got that yummy, yum. That's funny. I'm not, nothing to roast that. That's his best video. He crushed that roast that. That's his best video. He crushed that. It truly might be his best video. And he is cute.

Yeah. Cute boy. He's one of the cutest boys I've ever met. He was cuter then, though, than he is now. You think so? He's kind of aging out of his cuteness. Yeah. Blog life is kind of taking him down a little bit.

What are you aging to? He looks like the grandfather from Up now. Yeah. Lou Pearlman would be like, nah. Nah. Nah, you're crippled now. Lou Pearlman would be like, nah. Nah. You're crippled now. You're a decrepit old man waiting to die alone now. I think we both look like the syndromatic

kid from Middle. The Middle, the sitcom. Jimmy Eat World? With the janitor? A Neil Flynn joint? The Middle. It was on ABC for eight years. I'm not a sitcom guy. Patricia Heaton was in it. Malcolm in the Middle The Middle It was on ABC For 8 years Modern Family

I'm not a sitcom guy Patricia Heaton was in it I don't know if that's true Don't lie Do you watch the show You? No You should Why'd you laugh?

What? Why'd you laugh? No just What is it? It's based on It's like Love on the Spectrum I was about to Bring up Love on the Spectrum

It's based on a true story What's the middle right there. I did watch that show. That was a good show. That's Sass and you, Kyle? And maybe a little Owen. Somebody once in college, a girl told me I looked like him, and I stuck with it. That was a good show.

You don't look like him. Because it's so hurtful. When I was clean shaven, I kind of did, I guess. Isn't his name Brick? Yes. Yeah. Yes. He lives in Indiana. KB, you should watch it. I guess. Isn't his name Brick? Yes. Yeah. Yes. He lives in Indiana.

KB, you should watch you. Oh, look at that. Oh, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy. Okay, this puppy's not coming in. I want to see it. What kind? Try it out, KB. So there's a Winnie dog.

You'd like it. Okay. You don't like dachshunds? There was a new mint sound. New mint sound dropped. Oh, fuck yeah. All right, wait. New mint sound is brought to you by TravisMatthew.com slash yak.

Use code yak20 for 20% off. They're going to make me some jumpsuits. I'm going to start wearing them every Sunday when I watch football. Did they tell you they would? Yeah, well, Steven did. Yeah, they are. So they're the best. The most comfortable hoodies.

That's not true. We have a call with them today. Okay, perfect. Do you need me on that call? What's that? What is that music? What time is the call? Is that humming? a call with them today. Okay, perfect. Do you need me on that call? What's that? What is that music? What time is the call? Is that humming?

I'll get the details. Okay. Indian music? Where's that coming from? We're sweatshirt guys on this show? I'm telling you right now. I think it's the computer. It was the video that Zaha had up.

It wasn't hard to figure out. I just like the music. We got a good old-fashioned whodunit. Where's that sound coming from as the sound is on in the booth and Zaha has TikTok playing? We've never had sounds play before. Anyway, what were we about to do? We were going to – yeah, TravisMatthew.com slash Yak, though. The most comfortable hoodies ever.

I'm telling you right now, cloud hoodies, incredible. It feels like a dream. No, it really feels like a wet dream. And I think our listeners are big hoodie guys because they don't have jobs. So go 20% off. You know, just chilling at home. And you don't need a salary to afford these.

Yes, exactly. They're affordable. Oh, with the money they're giving out, you get like $30 off. Can you do me a favor? Can you call your army off? What do you mean? The other day, you guys stayed in the studio too long,

and I had to come in and say, hey, can I interview? What army? Can I interview? And I've got 35 white guys in my DMs saying they will kill me if I ever interrupt Son of a Boy Daddy. Well, they cannot be white guys. There's just little to no chance that our demographic is white guys in my DMs saying they will kill me if I ever interrupt son of a boy dad again. Well, they cannot be white guys. There's just little to no chance that our demographic is white guys. I'm just telling you

that it was just a bunch of dudes named Dylan today telling me they would kill me if I ever interrupt son of a boy dad again. How is that different from your fan base? I don't have a fan base. You have a household name in a decent sized city to no fan base. Zero fan base. To zero fan base.

You humbled me. You overcorrected. You humbled me. That's fine. He overcorrected. You're the one that fucking did it. I was feeling good

just being happy. You wouldn't let me be happy. How the fuck did I do it? You were the leading voice. You're the one who made that outrageous claim. I was perfectly happy being content

with being a household named Starkville, Mississippi. And you publicized it. I can't have Starkville, Mississippi? No. Give me Starkville. No. The pink eye capital of. I can't have Starkville, Mississippi? Now you know. Give me Starkville. No. The pink eye capital of the world?

Can I have my hometown? Is that okay? Probably not. It is. It's the pink eye capital of the world. It is not. Is that true? You drive in,

and you know how they have the big peach? It's like the water tower. It's just a big water tower with a pink eye. There's a leak at the fart plant. Well, the fart plant, there's a leak at the fart plant, and it so happens to be next to the pillow plant.

That's right. Why did we put these next to each other? Real unfortunate. Dude, but I think that the fans are just pissed. And I say fans loosely because we don't have any fans. But the people who listen are pissed because they also got cucked out of a of a bus with the boys that's not my choice i didn't do that yeah it's dan it's coming well no we didn't they weren't gonna run it i think we put the pressure on them yeah i think there's

there should be constant pressure on them at this point but uh you know they they feel they feel slighted and and uh you guys gotta you guys to bite at that apple before we did. Go listen to Bustin' with the Boys today, and then they will promise. Will said if it's the highest-listened show, they'll drop the new highest-listened show, Sass and Rome. That's right.

Next week or just right on top of this one? Hopefully just right on top of it. Right on top. That would be the goal, right on top of it. Yeah, just to strike while the iron's hot. Those guys are great over there, though. Who was the whole squad there? Probably. There were like 30 people. Yeah, just to strike while the iron's hot. Those guys are great over there, though. Yeah. It was the whole squad there? Probably.

There were like 30 people there. Cheeto. There was a shitload of dudes in there. Hawk. It's that good. Yeah, Hawk. Hawk was in there. Mariska, the girl with the big bushy hair.

I don't know that. I saw Mariska. No? Mariska. She didn't make a trip up to Knoxville. Mariska. Spicy. Should we listen to didn't make a trip up to Knoxville. Mariska. Spicy. Should we listen to new...

Should we listen to new... New Mint Sound. Dropped. It's a pretty good one. See, on the rundown yesterday, he tried to claim Ole Miss fans were throwing stuff from the upper deck. Like, what...

Probably were. Could have been, yeah. Why would... What shit does that mean? What shit does that mean? What shit does that mean? I'd like to get his voice up to like a guitar tuner or something yeah hear what octave he even is in because i don't even think we really appreciate how how high pitched they don't make pedals for that yeah they really don't you can't fucking tune that right all right no

and you made a creation i'll tweet it out right now love it boom Owen, you made a creation. I'll tweet it out right now. Love it. Boom. Owen, you made a creation. Jer, what shoes are those? These are Prada. Ooh. I love it. How much cash do you have on you right now?

Nothing. Sweatpants, sweatshirt, the Prada shoes. The girl that sits next to me. What's her name? Publicity. Alyssa. She was like, oh my, she posted me a picture of me or a video or something and she tagged me in it.

And then like her followers were like bashing me about my sneakers. The T-Tribe? Yeah, the ones I always wear. Wait, those are like the Monarchs? Yeah, the Monarchs. They're like a super popular, they're like a counterculture cool shoe. They were dad shoes, now they've been recaptured. Yeah, I love them.

They're comfy. And then she's like, oh my God, they're bashing you. I'm like, bashing me? Why? About your shoes. I was like, oh, okay. I guess they don't know I collect shoes. Now Prada.

Now you have Prada. How many pairs do you have? I don't know. Close to 100. You thinking about maybe Ruff and Rowdy with the T-Tribe? I don't even know what the T-Tribe is. Sippers. Followers.

That's her followers? Yeah. The Sippers. I could do something like that maybe after this one. Jersey Jerry in the ring with like 1 thousand 25 year old New York women? That I can't do. A thousand is too many. 500 women.

Maybe. Maybe. What's this guy doing in the lobby? Looking all tan with his backpack. This guy looks like programmed something for me. He should be more nervous. Who is this guy?

He looks like a 2005, what is he? Turnaround guy. He's cheery. He's like a fucking hiker programmer. He drives a Subaru. There's no doubt in my mind. He's the guy who ran the Ghetto Hikes Twitter account. I think, where is he?

You think maybe recent Facebook? But look at the iPhone Whoa There he is It's like Jack McCarthy Growing up Oh it does It does It's like

It's like It's like It's like Edward James Olmos Looks like you'd have a rat tail Yeah That'd be a cool thing Go rat tail

I thought it would be We gotta get him in here Who is this guy San Francisco ass boy What's his tag Is he wearing a lanyard Is that a visitor tag Oh no He's in the alien Oh no Okay Who is this guy? San Francisco-ass boy. What's his tag? Is he wearing a lanyard? Is that a visitor tag? Oh, no.

He's inhaling. Oh, no. Okay. He either is. He knows exactly what he's doing. Damn. Perez, you know what you got to do? Hire this man.

This guy in here? This guy's a liar. That was the best move he could have done. He's still not, like, what is it? Oh, shit. No, no, no. He's good. He's good. He has no idea. Yeah, get him. Get him. Get him. What's the badge? I bet you he's like has some sort like he might be blind in one eye or deaf in one ear he has something he has half an affliction he got cirrhosis of the liver or some shit

yeah it looks like his left eye might be blind is he blind in one eye? It's a glass eye. Oh, shit. I just guessed. Oh, fuck. He was. That's his fuck up. Get the camera off him. Get the camera off him. What does Che do? Che, don't attain him. How do we just pan out and have Che sit down? What is he doing?

Che's intrigued. Nick, how do you snipe people's afflictions? Are you going to ask? Are you going to ask? I can't be doing that. Nick, are you going to ask? You're too perceptive, bro. Oh, my God, Nick.

You took the limitless pill. You're like, that car is going to crash into that car in 10 minutes. He's coming. He's coming over. Hi, Brianna Parkinson. Brandon. Brandon. Get up.

All right. What's up, man? Hey. How's it going? We're just, we usually. We're trying to figure out your background. I think you're from San Francisco. Yeah.

You're from the Bay Area. Well, I guess first question, how long have you had asthma? Talking to Mike. Since you were born. Mike. Yeah, the mic's right there. Sorry. It's been a lifelong battle.

Because we saw you hit that thing. Dude, because I had it when I was young, and I beat asthma. You did? Yeah, I beat asthma. How? How'd you beat asthma? Just enough puffs with the inhaler, and it just did the trick. Really?

It's gotten better since I've gotten older, but see? Okay. Keep getting older, brother. Okay. As sicknesses tend to do. Yeah. Wait, so are you interviewing here? No, no, no.

I've been working with Pete for a couple of years. You guys were still in the old space. Wait, this Pete? Yeah, Pete Overmeyer, absolutely. Fuck it. Get in here, Pete. How much do you hate him? He's a great guy.

No, he, oh. Okay. That asthma's gone to your brain. He's a fantastic guy. He's a piece of shit. Pleasurable customer. Let's cut off the air. Oh, he's a customer of yours.

He's a client of yours. So what do you do? My company. What is your company? So I work for a company called Future Tech, and we do technology solutions. For the future? Okay. Yes, we were kind of on that.

For today and for tomorrow. We kind of sniffed that out. Also, what model... What year Subaru do you drive? What model Subaru is it? No Subaru. I'm a BMW guy. Oh.

Oh, Future Tech's doing well. Future Tech's doing well. Future Tech's doing well. He just dunked on my ass. Yeah. So what are you pulling in before taxes? I'd rather not say. Okay. That much?

We'll turn off the camera. You want to turn off the camera? Turn it off. Turn off the camera. There was here how much you make. All right. So how much did you make? No, I'd rather not say.

Okay. Well, I mean, everything's off. Humble. Humble. All right. We'll turn it back on. My guess is upwards of $700,000. Future tech.

Well, I'll come to work for you for half of that then. Okay, all right. We're sniffing it out. We're getting closer. BMW, lease or own? Owned. Okay. What year?

Oh, I got a couple of them. I got three of them. Oh! Wow. Wait, we didn't catch your name. My name's Mark. Mark. With a C or K? With a C. Oh got three of them. Oh! Wait, we didn't catch your name. My name's Mark. Mark. With a C? Oh, no! Okay. How many

commas do you have? When you look, when you check the balance, how many commas? Talking to that mic, yeah. I don't know. Probably two commas and a decimal point. Okay. Say it less, my friend. It comes in, it goes out. That's a fucking fact, man.

So what do you got on the horizon, brother? Not much. We're gearing up for your office expansion here on the third floor. But what is the future tech we're getting? You're getting wireless and wired infrastructure for all the new employees, for all the desk stations, the laptops, voice over IP phones, all that good stuff. Is Pete putting more hidden cameras in the new bathrooms, too, or is it just the men's?

You know, he knows he found the old ones, so I don't think he's putting them in a second run. That's too bad. Yeah. That's too bad. He'll find another way, though. Okay. The surveillance never sleeps.

All right. Well, Mark, good to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. Yeah, no pleasure. Future tech. Future tech. It's the future. Cheers, brother. And congrats on the BMWs. That's right. It's meet you. Pleasure to meet you. Future tech. Future tech. Future tech. It's the future. Cheers, brother.

And congrats on the BMWs. That's right. It's FTEI.com if anyone's interested. BMWs. You can only drive one at once, too. Sick. That's so sick. Riding a fleet of BMWs, one foot in either one, and whipping the third one.

That gets the Clydesdales at Budweiser. Catamaran of BMWs. That's fantastic. All right. Thanks, Mark. Is your last name end with a Z? Oh, very good guess. And I knew you were European. All right, thanks, Mark. Does your last name end with a Z? Oh, very good guess. I knew you were European.

Okay. That was a good guess. KB is our resident doctor. Was it a good or was it an accurate guess? Was it good or accurate? No, that was accurate. Accurate or precise, and what's the difference? Oh, well, I think accurate comes within a finite range,

and precise is an even narrower range. I would have to – that would be my definition. Okay. Accuracy needs to be consistent. Yeah. That's exactly what it is, Owen. That's right. You could hit – yeah, yeah.

You said it best. All right, Mark. Thank you very much. Good to meet you. Thanks, Mike. Yeah, welcome. Oh, okay. You knew who I was.

Damn. I like this guy come on anytime brother W mark hair like a greaser the way is like if Thomas Middleditch got more he's out of here I How'd you know? I just assumed. No, that's fucked up. The way he carried himself. He's got a band, right? He's got a band, yeah. Yeah.

He plays the stand-up bass. Three BMWs. If I were writing a movie and I needed to name an evil corporation, I would call it Future Tech. Future Tech. Yeah, that's evil. Future Tech is like the... Isn't future assumed in tech? Damn, I'm a fucker. Future Tech is like the evil corporation in Paw Patrol. Yeah. Yeah, that's a pop corn on his brain. Isn't future assumed in tech? Future Tech is like the evil corporation in Paw Patrol.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Does he have like eight vowels in a row in his last name? Is it like Sevchek or some shit like that? No. How'd you get that? Research Future Tech, Mark. Shut up.

Shut up. Oh, yeah. Future Tech. Look at that. There he is. Look at that guy's living in the future. He's got a phone and a computer. Damn. And coffee. Future tech. Look at that. There he is. Look at that guy's living in the future. He's got a phone and a computer. And coffee and glasses.

I like this guy. Future tech, baby. This is one of those like this. It's interesting when you find out that, and I've had this idea for a very long time, but Pete Overmeyer, all business Pete. Outsourcing Pete. Yeah. He's not actually like a tech nerd. for a very long time. But Pete Overmeyer, all business Pete. Outsourcing Pete. Yeah, he's not actually like a tech nerd. He's an overseer.

Yeah, he knows a little bit more about computers than everyone else. He's a plantation owner. So he can then go find someone else to do the dirty work and then explain it to everyone else. So he's a fraud. Yes, and a bad person. And a bad person. Kind of like a mob boss.

A little bit. It gets people to do the work for him. So Pete could technically be fired right now and nothing would change? Nothing. You just need his Rolodex and you'd be fine. Okay. Because those are the guys like Mark. 3BMW Mark is the guy who does the work.

I'm sorry, what? He had three BMWs? Three. Not one. Takes them everywhere, too. Why three? All three. Also seven figures in this checking.

Wait, did he say two commas? Two commas and a decimal. I'm bad at figuring that out. Two commas? But he says he doesn't make $700,000. Two commas means he's going to save it. Two commas is a million. Two commas is a million.

Two commas is a million plus. Yeah, right. So I'm saying it could be eight figures. Could be. Three commas is a million. Two commas is a million plus. Yeah, right. So I'm saying it could be eight figures. Could be. Three commas is a billion. Yeah. He could have 999 million. I'm just going to guess we'll never have a three comma guy in here.

We had one last week. Con. Rapoli. Yeah, Con. Tony Connell's here. Oh, that's right. He's a billionaire. He's got the B.

The B club. Mm-hmm. Mid five figs. Damn, I'm glad we brought that guy in. Because... club. Mm-hmm. Mid five figs. Damn, I'm glad we brought that guy in. Because... Figure it all out. To kind of buff out Nick's insensitivities. I didn't...

I wasn't intentionally being insensitive. I know. It's like inherent. Dude. You have like a... You're a truffle pig for insensitivities. You can like sniff out someone's biggest insensitivity. You're petting your tricep and you just pushed your glasses up.

You're lying. Yeah, he's right. Wow. Wow. I learned recently that when people touch their eye, it's like a big self-conscious thing. It's like it shows their discomfort and I can't stop noticing it. Really?

When people touch their eye. Isn't it like Looking up to the left And biting your lip That's a lie Lie That's the Lie to me I love the guy

But Tony Shalhoub No the famous A-Rod interview Oh yeah 60 minutes He did like everything That you're not supposed to do

Tony Shalhoub was monk Yeah Great show And who was early edition That was a woman You want to pull it up No no That was bad That was Kyle Lisa Guerrero Lib was Monk. Yeah. Great show. And who was early edition? That was a woman. You want to pull it up, Zaha? No, no.

That's bad. That was a Kyle. Lisa Guerrero? No, that was a Kyle. That was inside edition. No, no, no. Early edition was the newspaper guy. Right, that came out the day, he saw the next day's newspaper. He was a coach.

Yeah, with the orange cat, the tabby cat. Was that Mark Harmon? He got the Chicago Sun-Times. Yeah, Chicago guy. And he never used it for evil. Never. He never used it for one episode where they bet on games. Have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone, or any other performance-enhancing substance?

No. Have you ever been tempted to use any of those things? No. Oh, jeez. Well, no, wait. Tempt you. I've always been a big kid. You know, it's wait. I've always been a big kid, you know?

It's funny. I believe him. When I came up as a player, a lot of people thought I would be too big to play shortstop. Getting big and being stronger was never my problem. See? Look at that. I've never felt overmatched on the baseball field.

I've always been in a very strong, dominant position. And I felt that if I did my work. You got lips like a TikToker. I was going to say, very strong dominant position. And I felt that if I did my work... You got lips like a TikToker. I was going to say, I don't think anybody has better lips. I didn't have a problem competing at any level. I'm tempted right now. His lips looking off to the left.

His top lips like a fucking airbag. How blessed I am that I do what I do. I'm getting horny. Oh my god. Alright, that was it. You just named a different part of the car. It was the part of the car that Gruden. I do what I do. I'm getting horny. Oh, my God. All right, that was it. You just named a different part of the car. It was the part of the car that Gruden said wrong. It wasn't that bad, actually.

I take back my previous thought. There was one weird quiver. Yeah. I'm sexualizing him for the record, okay? I'm sexualizing that man. Yeah, you are. But he's a sexy guy. He's a fucking sexy guy. He's a stud.

Yeah. He's a fucking stud. I think he's better looking as an old guy than he was as a young guy. He's a fucking sexy guy. He's a stud. Yeah. He's a fucking stud. I think he's better looking as an old guy than he was as a young guy. He's aging very well. Fact. As men do. As men do. Should we do Botox week?

I'd get Botox. That would actually be funny. How much is Botox in your forehead if we all just got it one day and did a show? It is? It is cheap. It's for our migraines. You should definitely do it if you want it to be. Let's do a BLT.

Let's do Botox, lips, and we'll get titties. Yeah, wait. Do you think we can have a Botox person come here? Yeah. Donnie knows one. Donnie knows a plastic surgeon. We should get on our next Friday draft show, we'll do Botox. We'll have a Botox party.

That will be very funny if we all get Botox. All right. Bro, fuck. No? You're not going to do it? I don't know. If all the boys get Botox? What about the little girls that watch this show and they're like,

we're showing them an unfair beauty standard because we're all altering our appearance to try and appear more beautiful. They need it. We got them into cigarettes. Let's do a BSS draft, Barstool Sports draft. Botox, steroids. Let's just do injection. Syringes.

Injection. Yeah. Okay, I would inject heroin, but not Botox. Jerry. Come on. Roan. You don't want to do that. Roan.

God damn it, Roan. That sounds like some shit I would say. Jesus Christ, Roan. It's fucked up. Why not? Roan. You don't want to do that. Roan. God damn it, Roan. That sounds like some shit I would say. Jesus Christ, Roan. It's fucked up. Why not? Roan. Well, Jerry doesn't have to be here when we do it. No.

That's what I mean. Roan. We don't want Jerry to stop us from doing drugs. Jerry, have you ever been in the Star Ledger? Like for a rest? For anything. Yeah. For a rest?

But soon to be in the funny papers. Soon to be in the funny papers. Pretty much. Funny papers. What do you mean? Are you going to have a comic or what? Are you going to be a cartoonist? No, I'm not a cartoonist.

Bring Calvin and Hobbes back. Family Circus. You don't know Calvin and Hobbes? Oh my God, you'd love it. Yeah. You would. Bill Watterson's a genius. Garfield?

Garfield, yes. Of course, of course. Garfield's great. Of course, of course. Garfield's great. Chris Hansen. Yes. Jerry and I are going to Monday Night Football in Pittsburgh. Yep. The Berg.

When? November. Week nine. What date in November? Monday Night Football. I like how you keep saying week nine without having to learn when it is. Yeah, no, I don't know. November 8th.

It's forever from now. I would like to come. You should come. I'll come and do a video in the parking lot. That would be funny. Yes. We'll have some laughs. Can we all go?

Live show? November when? I'll stay back. November 8th. I think it's week nine. How's the other Steelers thing? Oh, that works perfect. You want to come?

You're in. Yeah, I'm in. Nick's in as well. Nick? Nick, you're in. I'm in? Yeah. I'll come.

Yeah. If we have room, you're in. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. So, KB, you's in as well. Nick? Nick, you're in. I'm in? Yeah. I'll come. Yeah. If we have room, you're in. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. So, KB, you're in as well. That means... You guys come together.

With your little monolithic status. I'll hold it down here. Who y'all voting for this year? This year? Yeah. Silwa. Who's that? The fucking...

JoJo. Red Beret guy. JoJo Silwa. Silva Oh I saw that guy Out in front of Penn Station Yeah the He got like beat up By a bunch of teenagers He did

He's running for office He's running for mayor Curtis Silva Right He started the Red Guardians What do you call them? The Guardian Angels

Yeah Bro no way And he got his ass kicked By teens That's him Well a bunch is Not pathetic But you can't be wearing A red beret And then got his ass kicked. By teens. That's him. Well, a bunch is not pathetic. But you can't be wearing a red beret and then get your ass kicked by some teenagers.

No way. What's the acceptable amount of teenagers, though? I mean, 10 teenagers could beat my ass. You just can't. It doesn't matter about the physical limitation. You just can't get beat up by teens. Brandon, 10 teenagers couldn't beat your ass. Actually, for any teenage listeners, if you have a group, try to kick Brandon's ass.

You can't do it. Come to our office. You cannot do it. We'll call off the security guards. Has to be under 18. It can't be 19-year-olds. Oh, okay. That's fine.

So five 17-year-olds? Could you beat up five 17-year-olds? I would say nine 17-year-olds couldn't even beat you up. Dude, 17-year-olds got fucking just cum coursing through their veins. 15, I think. Adrenaline. Thick cum. All their

veins are just stuck with cum. Me beating up 13-year-olds isn't going to be societally correct, so where's the perfect age of beating them up? 15. So I need 15-year-olds. They have to have a driver's permit. I think you could beat up a 15-year-old. Five of them? No. I do. How organized are they going to be, though? They have to have a driver's permit. I think you could beat up a 15-year-old. Five of them? No.

I do. How organized are they going to be, though? They all speak different languages. So they can't communicate. That would be good. One of them is bilingual, but you don't know which one it's a crossover of. But if one's bilingual, one is deaf. Yes.

And one's blind and one's... I don't want to fight a deaf guy. Why? Deaf strength. Deaf strength is real. They got deaf strength. Every time they talk, it sounds like they're lifting. Oh, shit.

So? Setting off the lunk alarm. They're not going to like hearing that. Shout out to our deaf listeners listening on closed caption. We did have a blind girl reach out to us in the DM. Really? Yeah. And then there was a – somebody sent us – there's like Helping Hand.

It's an app on your phone, and if somebody is blind, they can FaceTime you randomly, and you'll help them like in the grocery store. We should probably do that one day. FaceTime. We should. Are there people who don't have the sense of feel? That would probably be the worst. You think so?

I think so, yeah. Because if people don't have other, like you can't see, you can't smell, you can't hear, you're robbed of a certain sense. Can you be robbed of the sense of feel? I'm sure you could, yeah. Is there a name for it? Philozovia? Yeah, I think that is.

Philozovia. You feel jovial. Does that mean when you feel, you don't feel it? Or if somebody touches you, you just feel nothing? You just don't have the sense of feel. I don't know. But would it only be in the hands? Because if it's your whole body, you couldn't walk, right?

That would be paralyzed. No, but if you couldn't feel, you would just fall over. I think we're just describing. You could walk through fire, though. If you lost your sense of feel, you could still walk. No, because I came out of a car trunk one time, and my legs were asleep, and they just folded, and I fell to the ground. Why were you in the car trunk? A bunch of people.

You're always in the trunk. Yeah, you put me in the trunk, too. Shotgun was available when Owen called trunk. Very dangerous. You get rear-ended, you're always in the trunk yeah you put me in the trunk shotgun was available when owen called trunk very dangerous you get rear-ended you're dead dead and a bad death oh am i yeah real dead okay that's what happened your legs don't take that tone with me he almost died didn't we do that when we're in west virginia didn't someone get in the trunk yeah who did kb kb did kb actually it was actually very sad because KB was like, he didn't even put up a fight. He's like, well, I'm the trunk guy.

He just folded himself. People don't talk about big guy privilege when getting seats in the car. Yeah, there is big guy privilege. There is. There absolutely is. I have a friend, Big Lou, he has shotgun in any car we get in. Big Lou? Big Lou.

Is it big guy privilege or is it more like, I mean, because you don't want the big guy stuck in the back and then it makes everyone uncomfortable. We do this on our trip. It's the best option, but I get the trunk a lot. I get offered the front seat almost all the time. Yeah. You know what's bullshit is car sick privilege. I'm fucking tired.

Oh, fuck. I'm tired of it. I get car sick. I play that card all the time and I haven't gotten carsick since third grade. It's bullshit. Get off your phone, dude. It's bullshit. Yeah, stop reading.

Yeah, like, I'm carsick. Well, maybe because you just watch TikTok for an hour and a half. You just close your eyes. And your brain's whack. Your brain can't process movement in front of you and in your peripheral vision. Your brain's whacked out. Got a wacky-ass brain. Jerry, you got a good brain.

Jerry, your brain... Give me a sign. What do you got? What do you got going right now? Do you see anything recently? See anything? No. Look at the sheet.

Maybe look at the sheet. Maybe there's a sign on there. What did you guys do in L.A.? What did you do yesterday? We went on Abe's buggy ride. We did a little buggy. We just wanted to see. Jeff was claiming, you know, Jersey Jerry.

Yeah, you might have been on the streets, but me too. So we just wanted to see for ourselves. What the streets are. Did you tell him you were coming? Did you give him a chance to show up to his house? No, I have his address. Yeah, but don't do that. No.

Yeah. But I didn't show up to the house. We just went to Lancaster, did the horse and buggy ride. Did you make butter? No. No. Took a tour, show up to the house. We just went to Lancaster, did the horse and buggy ride. Did you make butter? No. Took a tour, some tobacco plants. Nice. Seen some goats, horses.

You bought a goat. I did, but I returned it. Oh, did you get full price back? No. What? No, I got burned. What do you mean? I bought it for $100, and then I gave it back for $0.

You paid $100 for a goat? For a goat. Why don't we have any goats? Goats are $3 for $100, and then I gave it back for $0. You paid $100 for a goat? For a goat. Why don't we have any goats? Goats are $3 for $1. It's not a good deal because you gave it back. Goats are $3 for $1? Goats are the cheapest animal there is. No, they go for $20 per pound.

Is that true? It's true. So your goat was only 5 pounds? Probably about 5. Really? That seemed pretty big for 5 pounds. Yeah, I don't know. That's what the average price is.

How long does a goat live? How many years of cheese can you get from that? Oh, they can live for a while. Yeah, I don't know. That's what the average price is, I guess. How long does a goat live? How many years of cheese can you get from that? Oh, they can live for a while. Yeah, I think they can live for a little while, goats. When my Ethiopian boy got married, he had to slaughter a goat himself. Whoa. With his hands? Yeah, well, I mean, he had to slit his throat.

Why? He had to hold it with the other, in front of the ceremony. Goats are good animals. It was like part of the ceremony. It's like part of the ceremony, optional. You can kind of opt in to going to the throat slitting. Did you go to it? No, I think it was like Insular.

Sort of like the men only. Got it. Your bitch ass can't come. Just scream. Yeah, I would. I'd be terrified. I'd piss myself and throw up. I'm not ready to watch an animal get

killed. Even a chicken fight. They don't get killed. They don't get killed. You think I'm in a good cock fight? Not in front of me they don't get killed. They get maimed and they get taken off and killed. You're fine with maiming? Yeah, I'm fine with maiming. I heard how they kill chickens is that they grab the neck

and the bottom and they just yank it like you're snapping a belt. They just go and it breaks the neck and the bottom and they just yank it like you're snapping a belt. They just go, boink, and it breaks the neck. Brandon is knowingly nodding. Have you ever killed a chicken, Brandon? I haven't killed a chicken, but going bird hunting with my dad when I was a kid, he would shoot the bird and it would be wounded and he'd say, go get it.

I'd bring it to him and I'd think, oh, we're going to nurse the bird back to health. And he takes his hand, puts it on the head, and just pulls it apart. Pops it off. KB's probably fantasizing about that right now. It's not just survival. It's what we were meant to do.

Right. I mean, we eat them. The bitch may not do. I also heard rabbits too lean for us to subside on alone. That's how the Into the Wild guy died. He died of amnesia. He had a poisonous rabbit. No, he had poisonous berries.

But I think leading up to that, he was... Not enough fat. He was dying of starvation. Rabbit diet? He was eating rabbit. We should start a rabbit diet. Too lean, yeah. I think it's easy to catch rabbit.

A little trap? Oh, in a trap. In a trap, in a trap. What are you, fucking Elmer Fudd? Yeah, I'll hunt some wabbits. Boy, I'll hunt a wabbit. I'll pop a wabbit with a double barrel shotgun.

You ever shoot a double barrel, Jerry? No, never double barrel. Single? Yeah, single.

You go skeet shooting, you shoot the single. Oh, there's Trivia Cheater Pat. Oh, no, we didn't make that excuse. Oh,

I know. I'm just, that's his nickname. I was like, hey, that was a good pull on Dancing with the Stars. He's like, yeah, who was? Yeah, it was. And then he finally realized what I was talking about.

He didn't cheat, though. Of course he didn't. He just pulled that out. Looked off camera. Typed a little. That's long been his nickname, Trivia Cheater Pat. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He seemed to be focusing on the lobby a lot.

Jerry, how's your training going? Good. Training's good. I punched Jerry in the stomach the other day, and he's fucking... I'm going to take fringe! And he's fucking ripped. I know, you're out there. There's a six-pack under here.

You're in hiding. We'll see it. Under the fat, there's a six-pack. Yeah, no, it is. He's got to get down to it. He's built. You got your eyes on a walkout song yet? You know, I was just going to do something really standard.

Oh, you have Mike Tyson. Yeah, but I don't think that's going to work. Well, we'll get somebody. The impersonator wanted $6,000. What? The impersonator, Mike Tyson. What? $6,000.

Can we talk him down? Can we call him? I told her. I said, that ain't going to happen. You told her? Her. The impersonator? The manager. Can we talk him down? Can we call him? I told her. I said that ain't going to happen. Told her. The manager. Can we talk to him? We could.

Let's call him. Female Mike Tyson. Let's call him right now. Let's give him a call. The person that has at Brandon Walker, I tried to buy it from him on Twitter. He wanted $600,000. What? I mean, you brag about how much money you have all the time.

This is your own. He said, I want $600,000. How many Kar mean, you brag about how much money you have all the time. This is your own. He said, I want $600,000. How many Karmas do you have in your bank account? That's just like $12 from each of the people that know you in Starkville. You can crowdsource your account. There's not that many people in Starkville. Okay, we've buried that. I'm not as well known as Starkville.

Again, the amount of people doesn't affect the percentage. I know that. It's a representation. I'm fine with that. I'm not as well known as Starfleet. Again, the amount of people doesn't affect the percentage. I know that. It's a representation. I'm fine with that. I'm fine. Fine. You guys win the Starfleet battle. That's the number. What is it, Jerry? Say it out loud. No, no, no. He will. He will. Nope.

Shout out, Zaha. Say another credit card. That I'm not doing ever again. That's, yeah. Why? Because I had to change all my information. Your address? No, not an address.

But, like, you know how you have, like, automatic stuff coming out of that? Yeah, yeah. It's like, it was a pain in the ass. A lot of data entry. You're not moving, are you? No. No time soon. Where are you moving to?

I'm going to get a house, but probably not right now. Get a down payment after the fight? Yeah, I could. I mean, I could, yeah. What kind of house are you looking at? What percentage down payment are you trying to make? At least 20. At least 20%. Yeah. 20%? That's a fat down payment. That's smart, though. And so what do you stand to

make from the fight? Or are we not saying? I mean, I'm not going to say the amount. But I'm just trying to think of what 20% would be if it would be a fully loaded model of a car. I mean, I can't do math that quick. Do you want a Land Rover, maybe? Cool.

I don't really like a Land Rover. Yeah? What about a Range Rover? Or a Mars Rover? Honestly, with the Range Rover, I think my truck is nicer than a Range Rover. What's your truck? A Kia Telluride. Telluride.

Kia. Did you buy it because of Blake Griffin? No, I just bought it because I love this truck. I tried to get it for months, but I just couldn't get it. Really? Yeah, they were like... I paid $4,000 over sticker for it. Whoa!

You have to these days. You have to. With the fucking car market? Yeah, the microchip. I was trying to find the exact model. Dark moss exterior. Is that the exact model? That is a good looking truck.

That's mine. That is your... Is that your house? This is a mountain. No, it's not my house. That's New Jersey? No, that's Texas. That's Arizona or California probably or something.

Could be Utah. Could be Jersey. I think it's Boise. Could be Newark. Could be Nevada. Colorado. You don't know that. It could be Utah. It could be Jersey. I think it's Boise. It could be Newark. It could be Nevada. Colorado. It could be Southwestern Colorado. It's far from Boise.

Oh, Telluride is a city. City in Colorado. Maybe. Didn't know that. It could be Camden, New Jersey. No, not Camden. Maybe. No.

But yeah, that's it right there. That's the Kia Telluride SX. Looks fucking sick, dude. I've sat... I never owned a Range Rover, but I've sat in a friend's, and I sat in a... I have a Kia Telluride. The Kia's better. Range Rovers break down, too.

Yeah, it's... You have to go... Like, it's one of those cars. This car does the exact same thing a Range Rover would do. Like, do they even... Do they still make Saabs? Saabs are the dumbest cars ever. What about Hummers? Remember

the era when Hummers were the coolest car? Yeah, like the original Hummer. The actual, not even a cool Hummer. It just was a chunky-ass car. You know what car's cool, too? The Defender. The Defender? Very cool. What's a Defender? I don't even know who makes it. I just know it's called a Defender.

Dude, you know what? I've had my eyes on the Rivian R1T What? What? The fucking Rivian, bro Rivian? Dude, this shit is a fucking electric car What's that?

Dude, pull up this Rivian Oh, that's a Land Rover Wait, you like a Land Rover? Yeah Oh, shit Alright, pull up the Rivian Pull up the Rivian R1T. It's a car show.

I want to see this. I want a Wagoneer. We should create a show. The yellow one. That's cool. Bro. Oh, that is. Look at that, dude.

How much are those? $67,000? That's not that bad. Whoa, whoa. Look at the car. Why is it in the fucking water? Why is it in a pool? You can bring a Rivian into the pool?

And it's electric. No, not right there. Right there. That is it in the fucking water? Why is it in a pool? You can bring a Rivian into the pool? And it's electric. No, not right there. Right there. That thing's in a pool. It doesn't fear water. It doesn't, dude. I love the headline of this. Your Rivian will not fear water.

It's electric. It has all these tubes to put your shit in. It's got a tube for your snowboard. It's like, what? It's a dick-sucking tube? It's a dick-sucking tube for your snowboard. Your snowboard can get sucked off by the Rivian R1T. And come, what is it, 2034,

they're not going to allow gas cars in New York anymore? Is that true? What? That's crazy. That's what my Uber driver told me the other day. Damn. What was he driving? Saab, I think.

Saab. Do they still make Saabs? I don't think they make Saabs. I don't think they make Saabs. Really?, I think. Sob. You've been in a lot of sobs. I don't think they make sobs. I don't think they make sobs. Really? Don't think. I feel like I can't remember the last time I've seen a sob. Have you been looking for sobs?

I have. Walk outside. Do you want a sob? S-A-B. No, I don't because they break down and you can only take it to a sob place. Where's the nearest sob dealership? I drive a Mercedes Benz. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Only one of them, though, not three. And you just got it. I did. New York City. That is a Rivian R1T. It's an electric truck. We'll start with the front. Look at these headlights.

You got Rivian branding in there. And then I think the button's right here. Whoa. Front trunk. Front. What? It is automatic. What happens if you hit something? It closes. Owen's in right here. Whoa. Front trunk. Front. What? Wait. Automatic. What happens if you hit something?

It closes. Owen's in the front. Yeah. Owen finally gets shotgun. That seems really dangerous. It says Rivian there. There are cameras everywhere on this vehicle. Yes, bro.

Now, Rivian says this is an adventure vehicle. Uh-huh. So, in case of emergency, check this out. Inside the door is a built-in flashlight. Flash emergency... Is the inside yellow? White. Inside the door is a built-in flashlight. Flashlight. How cool is this?

Yes. That's cool. You can just hold a phone. Hold your phone. What about this, though? A boat. It's like a boat. It's a portable Bluetooth speaker

that charges. I'm going to sell the Telluride for this. Yeah, that's what I mean. 67. These are small, inexpensive things you just put in the car. Yeah, it's working. This cup holder. Yeah, there's just holes. They're working. There's small, inexpensive things you just put in the car. Yeah, it's working for me. This cup holder.

Yeah, there's just holes. They're working? Yeah. There's holes for cheap things. Look at this shit. Look at this shit. Is this going to be a table? It's going to be another hole.

Is there going to be a table? This thing opens. Yeah, it's just another hole. And that side opens, too. They're gentrifying my ride. Yeah, they are. Exhibit could never grow. That's where your snowboard gets sucked?

No tools required. That's come on latch like this. No, no tools required. That's easy. It's intuitive. So that means I could just go and steal every roof. I want to steal every piece of your car. Yeah, I want the Rivian roof rack. You've got a display up front here. Yes, sir.

Driver. And then you've got a touchscreen display right here. That is a totally normal thing that's in every car. The logo on the steering wheel. And. Vivian logo on the steering wheel. And then the logo is on the steering wheel, bro. He's pointing out the logos, too. Tons of room in the back here. I'm sitting in the back seat.

What's on his head? And there are handles for the back seats as well. What is on his head? And you know how some cars' windows don't roll all the way down? These windows roll all the way down. Oh, wow. Well, now I'm sold. You guys are talking a lot of shit.

All the way down. The windows roll down. Dumbass. Is this a transformer or is this a truck? I mean, a lot of trucks are gas. Transformers are trucks. Yes, gas tank. And it closes.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Rivian R1T. That's a wild-looking taxi. That's a funny color. All right, so Rivian That's your dream car Anyone else have a dream car They want to throw out there You can't dare to dream

G-Wagon G-Wagon I would like that They're cool though They're nice I want an old school Bronco I want a Jalopy A Jalopy

I'd love a Jalopy Get a Jalopy right now You just get a Jalopy You want a Bronco I'd love an old school Bronco I want a Volkswagen thing I want a What's that Amigo They made old school Bronco. I want a Volkswagen thing. I want a Amigo. They made them.

They're very ugly. They were made with scrap pieces from the war, and they just put them together and started making Volkswagen things. That's what Jack Black wrote in in Comedians in Cars with Coffee. Wait, Volkswagen thing? That's a little too quirky for me. No, they're really cool. You have a car filled with holes.

Yours is designed for quirk. This one is futuristic. This was quirk. Every car is a car filled with holes. Yours is designed for quirk. This one was futuristic. Mine's practical. It's not a place for a flashlight. This was quirk. Every car has a place for a flashlight. Not like that. It doesn't come with a car.

You can't push a fucking button. Flashlights cost $12. The problem with that, too, is I take the flashlight out and I never put it back. Ever. Now you just have a hole in your car. A flashlight-sized hole. You can't put anything else in there. The Bluetooth speaker, same thing.

Take it out, leave it somewhere. Oh, fuck. Now I have a Swiss cheese car because I forgot everything. It's a great smuggling car. Hey, smuggle shit in. And therein lies the rub. See? Roam the smuggler.

Fucking Nick's quirk nowitzki over there trying to work his shit together. Let's see the Volkswagen. My shit is utilitarian. No, yours is like head turning. Yours is designed to be quirky. No. P.U. You guys have never seen the Volkswagen thing?

Wait, what kind of Volkswagen? Thing. Thing. It's ugly as shit. This is fun. Car talk. Yeah, we're ticking tack. Look at that.

That's a sick car. Oh, wow. I live on Nantucket. I'm quirky. I'm at the car parade. I have, yeah, circle spectacles. Yeah, I'm wearing a scarf. And it's the summertime.

Sorry. Please. I always wear jeans. I never wear shorts. That's you too. Fuck. I got a penis shaped like anal beads. I got a ribbed penis.

I like to wear hats that just have a basketball on it. I got in a scooter accident and broke my coccyx. That happen to you, Nick? You want to tell us, Nick? I have broken my coccyx once. What is that? It's the smallest bone at the end of your tailbone. That hurts, bro. We have

a week and two days until the nut off. Is this happening or not? Yeah, my boy Pat bought his ticket. What's that? My Ruiz had to buy two tickets, one for him, one for his buddy. We got two guys, very large nuts. We're going to have a competition. Ruiz has his in his overhead bin. Would you like to come?

To watch it? Yeah. How are we going to display the competition? Right on that table. We're not going to display the competition? Right on that table. We're not going to show the viewer. So we can't show the non. The viewers are going to have to gauge. I think each person goes around and shows every one of us one at a time.

And the camera is zoomed in on our facial reactions. Yep. What if we had a sketch artist? There are too many actors in this. Oh, we should hire a sketch artist. A sketch artist. And then the drawing you're allowed to show, right? No matter how lifelike it is.

What about... We're going to have to vet the sketch artist. Police sketch or caricature? Let's get a sketch artist. Caricature or police sketch? Oh, no, because caricature. No, it's a police sketch.

I want funny buck teeth on my nuts. But forge both of them. In a convertible. Let's get both. Mini convertible. Okay, let's get one caricature artist and one real life sketch artist.

Yes. Can we call one now? We need to get this figured out. I'll find a caricature artist. We need a third type of drawer. Can we call one now? We need to get this figured out. I'll find a caricature artist. We need a third type of drawer. I'd be like a painter or like a nude painter. Balloon animals? We could get like a sculptor too.

So we could just get the 3D. Yeah. Are you going to be here for it? Yeah, whenever it is. Okay. So 29th, right? 29th, yes. Oh, no.

I'll be in California. What? For what? Yeah. I don't know. Marty set up this thing. Be careful. I'm a little worried about it, honestly.

Marty's grooming you. I'm just not the California type of guy. Yeah. No, you would hate it. Well, you're thinking of Los Angeles and San Francisco as everything. Yeah, yeah. You would thrive in the Central Valley. Sacramento.

Off-city. What city are you going to? The city of Oakland. We're going to L.A. to some parties. What? Some parties? I don't even drink. What?

They're going to a very famous influencer's Halloween party. Oh, that sounds like hell. Female influencer. Why are you going? Addison Rae? I don't know. I mean, the tickets, they paid for everything. Here?

Yeah. Wow. Chamberlain? Not your pizzas. No, and I actually heard on Fox that that guy got 59 of them. Who? The guy on Fox that Dave gave 59 pizzas to. Who's that?

He gave the pizza an 8.5. I don't know. He was on Fox News. But Dave sent them 59 pizzas. And you got none? I'm not saying what I got, but I didn't get none. What'd you get? Zero

Which is one more than none No it's one more than none None is negative They come to your house And they take a pizza They make you make one And take it from you They open up their freezer

And like I'm taking this That's none Yeah One more Zero Hollywood man Yeah I just don't know If I'm gonna really enjoy that much.

Yeah. I mean, they got us Lamborghini trucks. What? Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's cool. What is it for? You know, I'm not sure.

What are you going to be? Marty said he wanted me to dress up. As what? I don't know. Are you letting Marty make every decision on this trip? I just told him he wanted to do it. I said, I don't know. Are you letting Marty make every decision on this trip? I just told him he wanted to do it. I said, yeah,

okay, I'll go. I mean, I'm having second thoughts now, but I'm going to go. What are you going to dress up as? Let's talk about it. I don't know.

What do you think? Dr. Oz? Sexy nurse? Oh, sexy nurse is even better. No, I don't think so. Dr. Pimple Popper? Mm-hmm.

LA? Mm-hmm. Sanjay Gupta? Surgeon? Surgeon. Dr. 90210? Surgeon, yeah. Dr. Pimple Popper. LA. Sanjay Gupta. Surgeon. Surgeon. Dr. 90210. Surgeon here. Dr. Miami.

Kobe GYN. The state of New Jersey. Jeff D. Lowe. The state of New Jersey is a good idea. Jeff D. Lowe would be good. Jeff D. Lowe would be very good. Just wear a chain and some hair product. Some hair product.

True. Now, you don't think I should go no I think you should go go go go have fun you won't have fun you should go you are gonna miss the nut off

yeah and it's the biggest nut you'll ever see go to boa what's that steakhouse you like a steak yeah

of course Jerry likes a steak I love steak yeah like on the grill though or like a cast iron pan. Mm-hmm. As opposed to... Broiled.

A boiled steak. A boiled steak. Toasted. I hate that shit. A boiled steak. Microwave steak. Oh, dirty water steak. You ever see the toaster steak?

It actually looks good. You put your steak in the toaster and you press it down. Have you seen they do dishwasher steak? It looks good. What? It looks good. It looks good. To be.

We should do a microwave steak day. Yeah. See how long. It's going to be so sick. Plenty of days. They were microwaving steaks. Nothing better than days. Yeah, days are the best.

Yeah, let's not plan for our show. No, I'm saying we're putting a lot of days out there. Okay, and what are the best shows we have? The days. The days. But I don't want to put so many days that we forget the days. I can see now. We need to call a sketch artist.

The last day was our best day, and we didn see now. We need to call a sketch artist. The last day was our best day, and we didn't prep. We did prep. We did prep. We did. We got to do microwave steak day, and then we do a draft. Botox day. So the draft decides how many minutes you get to put it in for. Someone's got to put it in for one minute.

Another person gets to put it in for eight minutes. I love that. That's crazy. That would be fun. People are going to be sick. And then we draft what we'll put on it, like a butter or like a gravy, a crab. Dog food. Dog food.

And now plava. Dishwasher steak. Oh, look at this. Dishwasher steak. Oh, it's like a sous vide. It's a sous vide. People rave about it. Can you microwave a steak, though, for real?

No. What do you mean no? You can microwave anything. You can't microwave it from raw, for real? No. What do you mean, no? You can microwave anything. You can't microwave it from raw, can you? Why not? That's a done steak. Yum. Doesn't a microwave get very hot?

Clean as a whistle, too. Oh, look at that. Dab dry. The toaster is better. Oh, wait. No. Oh, wait. He's just cooking the fucking steak.

Look up the toaster. What about microwaving a steak? He's just searing it. He's done that the whole time? He's searing it. Can you microwave a steak? Is that? There, this looks good.

This looks good. This looks really good. Oh, wow. Is this Christmas music? I don't think it's real. Damn, this makes me... Why would you think that's not real? Oh, drenched.

Oh, you think that girl would lie to us for a viral video? Nah, she wouldn't lie. Not to me. Can you microwave a steak? You can microwave anything. But, like, it'll be fine to eat. Yeah, but I want to basically, I'm trying to figure out how much bitching Brandon and Sasser would do.

You could eat raw steak. Yes. Right. So, like, what's the minimum time you can microwave a steak? And we do that for the minimum, and then we go up from there. Very, very high maximum. Yes. Yes.

What cuts, though? We'll draft the cuts as well. Yes, very high maximum. What cuts though? We'll draft the cuts as well. You want to microwave a bone in? Any flavor from the outside source. One minute. I microwaved it for one minute, flipped it over and microwaved it for one more minute. That was it. Totally done.

Look at that. Zero crust, obviously. They keep making it weird ways. I'm just torch it. Oh, no. So they keep doing this. They keep making it weird ways. I'm actually going to cook it after that. They keep searing it. Very light torching. So we'll torch it. Just tie it open.

Look at this. What? Looks really good. Holy shit. Are you shitting me? Are you shitting me? Mainstream media does not want you to see this. That's how you do it, man.

Wait, so what if we brought in a butane lighter or something like that? We could sear it. Wouldn't that be nice? That would be nice. Wait, so what if we brought in a butane lighter or something like that? We could sear it. Wouldn't that be nice? That would be nice. How about just some- Why would mainstream media be in bed with cast iron skillets? What the fuck?

They finally figured out there's microwave steaks. Maybe not even a butane lighter. Maybe just a regular lighter and some hairspray. Or yeah, we draft that. We draft how we crisp the outside. How do we get the fire going? Yeah. One of them is just Brandon sits on it.

Yeah. A little fart steak. Yeah, a little fart steak. Fart steak. Fart steak. That's what they make down in Starkville. We eat five cans of beans each and we make fart steak. Fart steak.

I got pink eye from a Stark. Pink eye, pink rib eye. I want some fart steak. All right. How are we going to be fart steak? We just can't. That's it. Yeah.

Good show, everyone. Yeah. Ron and I are out tomorrow. I'm out Friday. So no tank Thursday then? I can't be tank Thursday. I don't know if we're not here. We'll figure it out. We'll see what happens.

We can only do it when there's a full house. Yeah, good what happens. We can only do it when there's a full house. Yeah, good luck. But we can't do it whenever there's a full house. You want to come on? Jerry, you're here. You're going to be on the show tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow and Friday. You determine whether Frank comes on or not.

Not you. Yeah, why not? Okay, well, there you go. Perfect. All right, see you tomorrow. Why would... Why would... Why would... Perfect. All right, see you in a little while. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

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What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop. Thank you.