The Yak - Drama At The Gambling House?! | The Yak 9-28-21

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

KB had the security guard shookYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Does it feel good to be back? Oh, it's good to fucking have you back. Back in the host chair for me. What's up? What's up, man? Sass, you're getting progressively later each day.

Uh-oh. What was the meeting about? Just the podcast. Everything good? Son of a boy dad just comes in whenever son of a boy dad wants to. Not yet. I haven't seen him. All right, we can start the show now.

All right, perfect. Thank God. So Nick's back. Yeah, it's crazy that I've been going to all these weddings of people that love me from my small hometown. You guys wouldn't get it you're not from a small town like mine where you get invited to weddings all the time none of us would yeah i am every wedding you've went to in the past month is someone with some type of folliculitis or bad skin disorder conjunctivitis yeah this was this wedding was eczema'd up. Yeah? Itchy ass boys? The psoriasis gang was out?

Yeah. The bartenders were disgusting. I was tipping the scales. Oh my god. This sick son of a bitch. When did you get back? Last night? Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Thanks, bro. I've played baseball with Josh since like age five. You've known him longer than me. Significantly. You didn't get invited and I was in the fucking party. Did've known him longer than me. Significantly. You didn't get invited and I was in the fucking party. Did you roast him in your speech?

Roasted the fuck out of him. For what? This motherfucker. Right here. Dumb tattoos. No, his girlfriend, his fiance didn't know he was gay. So I just laid it all out on the line.

Dumbass bitch. And I've known for a long time and her and I are close. But I waited. Surely you told him at the ceremony. When I had the chance to object? No, it wasn't my time. I had a slot

and I filled it. That's what I do to slots. Of course. And pussies. Yeah, that's what I meant. Oh yeah, I was breaking it down for the listeners. Yeah, I forgot about our dumbass fan base. They don't know about homonyms. He was referring to vaginas.

We were just in a meeting. Speaking of which. No, no, let's talk about meetings over pussy. Let's table the pussy. Let's table the pussy. We were in this meeting about how we could get more pussy. Oh, yeah, I'm listening.

It's essentially what it was. It's only up. All right, so I guess I'm on the pod this week. Meet our pussiest friend. Yeah, that's me. Sick son of a bitch. I'm the pussiest guy. Rowan, how was the helicopter ride?

I've been worried about you for a day and a half now. It was spooky. You didn't like it? I mean, it would have been scarier if we had taken off from the top of a building. But we just took off from the ground. And it wasn't that scary. Did you run dangle game with your feet? I tried.

I kept on trying to open the door. For whatever reason, they had it locked. Yeah, there's no... Was there like a big gun hanging off the side? Yeah, it was a refurbished Vietnamese helicopter. But it was undangleable. No, so it was just the gun. You had to shoot the gun from the inside.

Look at Brandon running dangle game right now. No, I'm just going with the big guy move early. Hell yes. Do Marines dangle when they're mowing down villagers? I at Brandon running dangle game right now. No, I'm just going with the big guy move early. Hell yes. Do Marines dangle when they're mowing down villagers? I think they do dangle, yeah. They're probably the head danglers. But they make sure to keep them stiff. They don't kick.

They don't fucking... I'm going to kill somebody. My feet seize. And it's really hard to keep them stiff. I know. But they do it. Fucking grunting in pain. Because imagine just getting laughed at as you're killing somebody.

Looking feminine as hell. The last act is just roasting the fuck out of you. That person's about to die, but they're getting the last laugh. You're having your dainty ass feet. You're doing a little underdog. The sniper has the feet above his head. Respect to the sniper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kick at his feet. speaking of which um ebony had a banger on her instagram story by word did she before you eat my pussy stick your finger in it then rub it on your gums like coke that's fire that sounds like a i mean that should be like a song lyric. Like Cardi B is punching air right now that she didn't have that one in the fucking clip. We broke it down. She's a fucking... She does accidental haiku sometimes.

Yeah. Yeah. Was that one? Got the syllables out. What's haiku? Five, seven, five? Five, seven, five. Five, seven, five.

That's my height. Five, seven and a half, motherfuckers. And I don't even round up. I'm a humble man. You're a real haiku of a man. I went to the dermatologist this morning. Okay. You're not as rosy.

For my rosacea, ended up having to get fully nude, put a gown on, and do a full body check for skin cancer. And? Nothing suspicious? They checked everything. There was an assistant cancer. And? Nothing suspicious? They checked everything. There was an assistant there.

Yeah? Mm-hmm. And? You got hard. In order to... No, the opposite. You got soft. You got smaller.

So you went in harder? Softer, smaller. They're going to love this. I immediately got soft. I was trying to think of Busty Petites before she came in, just so I had a little something to work with. It did work for a second. Wore off.

And, yeah, they got to the dick area. And the assistant turns to me and is like, wait, do you work for Barstool? As soon as they got to the dick, I was like, was it the penis? And she said, it was the penis. Dead giveaway. Your penis smacks of barstool. Was it the pube shape?

That's another thing. I only shaved one third of them yesterday. Which third? Got bored and grossed out, so I was like, I'm done with this. It's like a Neapolitan ice cream? Super irregular. It's just an off-centered bush. Because if you do like, what would be the best third to leave unshaven would be the bottom third closest to the penis?

Oh, I was thinking vertical. The middle vertical. Like Neapolitan. Like the Irish flag. Neapolitan pubes, yes. But I think you shave vertically, not horizontally. I go zigzaggy. That was the third.

It's a third of the area. It looks like Keanu Reeves' beard. Don't patch that shit. I got to show us. My boy with the big nut was at the wedding, and it has gotten significantly bigger. Do you see it every time you see him? How could you not?

Let's bring up Kim Jong-un's cousin again His nut was the ring bearer It acted as the pillow But he'll be in town He'll be in New York Halloween And he wants to come to show his nut I have my guy Should we have a nut off? You don't have a guy Ruiz? You a nut off? Yeah, we actually should have a nut off.

You don't have a guy. Ruiz? You think Ruiz doesn't have big nuts? You guys are idiots. Pat only has one nut that's big. The other one, very small. I mean, Ruiz used to, he would pull out a nut, and we would start going crazy,

and he would just be like, that's only one. You haven't seen Pat's nut. I know, but I mean, I'm saying. We've got to have a nut off. I have my boy. You have your boy. October 31st. What color is it?

It's still Barstow HQ. We got ourselves a nut off. Is it still purple? Yeah, it's- And the other one's tiny? Yeah, the other one's- So it's like a pomegranate and a pomegranate seed. Yeah, yeah, I guess.

On a Sunday? I think one is feeding off the other. Yuck. We're gonna do a nut on a Sunday? Isn't that COVID-31st a Sunday? Well, we is feeding off the other. Yuck. We're going to do a nut on a Sunday? Is that COVID-31st a Sunday? Well, we'll do it the 29th. Nut off on the 29th. I'd come in on Sunday.

What's the winner get? For a nut off, I would. Yeah. Like a fruit basket or something like that. What are the parameters of the nut off? Is it just size? I just think it should be size. Well, what do you mean?

Just full diameter? Are we going to judge the mass of them? Are we going to find out how... Because I don't want... Surface area. Pats is all nut. Your boy could have fat nuts or something around it or some sort of... I didn't come in disparaging

your boy's nuts, dude. I've been nothing but respectable about past nuts. But I'm just saying I have a contender. You're pluralizing it in my face it's just not it's just not are you feigning ignorance are you just stupid i'm we'll have it we'll do it in weight classes then we'll have the fucking two nut champion and the one nut champion they can't both be nut champions well it's like someone running the 100 and the 200 world's fastest man so your guy has two giant nuts? Yes. Ruiz.

I'm saying Pat's name. You keep on saying my guy. Ruiz against Pat. October 29th. October 29th. Make the poster. Sass Owen. Got any nut guys?

They're too young to have met a nut guy. I don't have life experience for nuts. I don't have life experience for big nuts. All your boys have just regular ass nuts. Ruiz. Sass is so young. I feel like Ebony would make a great guest judge. Yeah, she'd like that. Nah, nah. Leave this to the boys. Yeah.

Nuts are a boys thing. Nuts are a boys thing. All right. That was a good ten minutes. Brandon, you're the host. No, Nick actually started the show. Where's Big Cat? We don't know

I feel like that's what everybody asks me whenever I'm out at a Barstool event Charles Oakley walked by a second ago I think he was a PMT interview So I don't know if they walked back in there to do more Round two Basketball player Charles Oakley Sometimes you get an interview and you're like let's go back in Just shoot the shit

But I'm tired Come on you're leaving after this Let go back in just shoot the shit but i'm tired come on you're leaving after this let's do round two just 10 more minutes i'll be quick i'm just gonna miss you i didn't even get to say goodbye charles vives just did that with uh lowering the bar i think it was the grossest lowering the bar yet yeah and he's he's saying he's really really belittling the grossness of it what do you mean vives he's saying he's really, really belittling the grossness of it. What do you mean? Vibs.

He's just like, yeah, it's not bad at all. This one right now? Yeah. That one doesn't look that gross. Chicken feet, right? Are we allowed to say? I don't think.

Said it. No, we'll take it back. Take it back. Yeah. No, we're definitely allowed to say. I don't think. Yeah, I think we're allowed to say.

I think they post clips before it comes out. Chicken feet. And they look like hands. Like they're long. They don't have stumpy toes. It'd be easier to eat if they had stumpy toes like humans. How are they cooked?

Boiled. Boiled. Ew. That's the worst way to cook something. Yeah. He said he just learned how to boil things. You just heat up water. That's like learning how to microwave.

I think all these things was microwaving before we had microwaves. It's the worst way to cook shit. Boiling? It just makes it white as shit. You've had chicken feet before? Oh yeah. What do you do? You eat it.

The bones? No, you pick off the bones. Does it still look like a foot? Extremely. There's not much you can. Does it still look like a foot? Oh, yes. Extremely. There's not much you can do to it. Yeah, they're great. I love them. You think they're great?

Yeah, eat them. That's not unusual. That's unusual of a food. Being born and raised in a different culture where you enjoy different foods is fucking stupid. Yeah, I was saying that about Ethiopia yesterday. Their sponge bread can just fuck off. You stupid moron. You're telling me you grew up and acquired a taste for this?

Idiot. But boiled just sounds bad. Boiled? How would you make them, Brandon? Boiled is the worst. You can fry them. You can cook them any different way. Fried would be good.

Yeah, fry everything. Deep fried. It's true. You can fry anything. Yeah. Yeah, you can fry anything. Anything. Yeah, you can fry anything. Anything. Anything.

Broiled, too. Broiled sounds gross, too. People broil shit. Like the people who, like, boil hot dogs. That's okay. Gross. That's all right. It's quick.

It's efficient. Nah. I just don't like the idea. I don't like the idea of them being all wet. Let's get some steaks for lunch today, boys. Yeah, let's order these. We'd love that. Steaks.

A round of steaks for the boys. Pull up the app. Yeah. Handle that for us, Rowan. The STK app? That's right. All right. What do you all want?

What's your cut? People were ripping out vowels in the mid-2000s. Is it back? Are people pulling out vowels again? Probably. Is it back? I don't know vowels again? Probably. Is it back? I don't know. It just ended, I feel like.

Really? Stylized all lowercase, no vowels. Period. Lowercase, no vowels, period. It's like the triple crown. Blackwater BLK. That's how I made my nut, though. A startup that just named apps.

An app that names apps. It was incredible. Really? Just take out the vowels. I made my first million that way. Yeah. That's on fucking life. That's on moms.

That's on Ma Dukes. Shit. Wow. Yeah. I went to, Nick, I went to Epstein's place. Which one? Jeffrey. Oh, no shit.

Yeah. And on the Upper East Side. Was it nice? Oh Oh, no shit. Yeah. And on the Upper East Side. Was it nice? Oh, yeah. It's beautiful. Just saw KB walking out willy-nilly. Oh, yeah. Swinging a pocket watch. Yeah, you were. Like a fucking bespoke gentleman

from London town. Yeah, was it in the front pocket of his vest? Yeah, type shit like that. We gotta go to London. We got to go to London. Yeah. And we got to start wearing vests. Yeah, let's go. Let's make an investment.

I would love to go to take the act to London. That would be awesome. We would have just nobody there. We'd find some. I mean, how many we have in Brooklyn? Three, five? Yeah. So that was, you can extrapolate that.

The Brooklyn show is a bit of a letdown. There, literally, I think there was maybe seven people three, five. Yeah. So that was, you can extrapolate that. The Brooklyn show was a bit of a letdown. There literally, I think there was maybe seven people there, Max. It wasn't about you. Yeah. It was about the ski ball. And that's why it was a letdown. But going into it, I think we all thought it was going to be like a real show. About him, yeah.

Not about me. I thought the setup would have been different. Yeah. We were in double digits there. It was a tiny building. Yeah. Very, very small. I couldn't hear what you guys said the whole time. I couldn't hear you guys on the phone. What were in double digits there. It was a tiny building. I couldn't hear what you guys said the whole time. What were you guys saying? What were you guys talking about? I couldn't see you.

I'm almost certain I crushed. You did. You definitely did. Because the mics didn't amplify. It was just like this. It was just like us talking into a microphone. I asked the guy about his wife dying. True. That was messed up.

Has that been haunting you? No, I said, why is your wife not here? No, it was because my mom died. She's home because my mom died or something like that. Somebody died. Is this a man you know the wife of? No. You were there, Kyle.

He couldn't hear. I think it was the skee-ball kid's dad. This was during the show. It was the skee-ball kid's dad. And then they were like, go out and win this one for him, for grandmommy. And then he lost. He failed brutally. Joey the Cat.

So what happens to her? She's still dead. What happens to her soul? It's trapped. Well, she goes to hell. You think it was in limbo? Yeah, she's in purgatory. He's like, I'll do this for you, Grandma.

I'll get you out of there. And then Joey, he just gets beat by a guy in tiger stripes. Sorry about your nan. Yeah. She's going to be tortured for eternity. Fuck. We got to go to purgatory. Yeah, we should.

I never got the point. Is that supposed to be like sock or is that just baseline average? I think it's nothing, right? Purgatory is fake for people that are going to hell. But they just need that. Purgatory is people that are going to hell's heaven. Yeah. Y'all want to throw the ball around?

Yeah. I'd love to. Oh, Ron. Thanks, Ron. Oh, fuck. Nick. You're a real cunt. You know that?

What's up? You are. Why? You're a fucking cunt. I wanted to throw the ball. I'm going to get the ball again. We're going to throw it, Sass. You can't have catch, Sass.

I've never seen you have catch. Me and Roan were throwing around the football for many days out in Philly. And I assume we will be in Nashville too. Should we bring the football? Oh, fuck. We're going to Nashville on Thursday. You guys want to come? No, that's tanks day. Oh, shit. What are you guys doing in Nashville?

We're going on busting with the boys. Fuck yeah. We're going to be circle jerking with Compton and Luan. We're a catch show now. That was right to you. I don't know what was going on. No, I said hit my hand, and you threw it way down here.

Oh. Hold your hand up. I said hit my hand, and you threw it up here. I did hit your hand. This radio shit is easy, man. All you got to do is play catch. This shit is light work big cat really

put me in the grave last night I don't know if you guys saw that oh he ratioed you right oh big time what'd he do unexpected too

I just let out a tweet right before well actually it wasn't before I was going to bed it was like you said you let out a tweet like it was a fart like a fart

do you hold tweets in yeah I posted a tweet I posted a tweet and I was and I was just like like fun episode of Son of a Boy Dad tomorrow

make sure you go listen or I said great episode of Son of a Boy Dad tomorrow make sure you go listen and he said great episode of this ratio and he did and then I was like

and then I tried to ratio him back and then he ratioed me again and then it was just everything I tweeted for the next 10 minutes he would reply ratio you see Caucasian James everything you tweeted

for the next 10 minutes how many I was trying to I was trying to work my way out I was trying to work my way out. I was trying to work my way out of the hole. The education system can't prepare you. Boy, that's been on a hot streak. Every episode that you put out, the most recent, is always your funniest.

That's why you guys are the best in the biz. Yeah. That's crazy. It is. It's funny how it works like that. Yeah. Constantly improving. You're improving.

Listen to today's episode because without one shred of irony, it's the best episode that we've put out. You think so? Oh, my God. The're improving. Listen to today's episode because without one shred of irony, it's the best episode that we've put out. You think so? Oh my god, the funniest episode. Yeah, it's a funny one. By far. Funniest yet. Funniest yet. Brandon, you gotta come on Son of a Boy Dad, bro. And we'll just flame your ass. Yeah, bro. Just flame your ass for an hour

straight. That's fine. Let's do it. We're gonna do a funniest in barstool competition. It's gonna be, or maybe in barstool competition. It's going to be last barstool standing and we're going to have everybody in the office try stand up and we're going to give away a thousand dollar cash prize. Didn't this idea germinate from yesterday?

And then we'll have a couple pros like me and Ron rate you guys and give you tips on how you can improve. So you're not pacing nearly enough. Pace more. Fucking shit. A thousand bucks? You want more?

I think you can get that prize up to five, ten maybe. That's KB's height. No, he's five, seven and a half. In the ballpark, same rate. Ten grand to find the best comedian at Barstool. Find somebody. How many people do you think will try out? Who do you think would be the best?

Who do you think would be the best? I think Jet Ski. Really? I think it would either be... I feel like Gay Pat would be really good at stand-up. I was going to say Nick and Gay Pat. I think Kate would be really good. Well, I wasn't thinking about the Yak.

Nick, obviously. You weren't thinking about women? Obviously, Nick. What? No, nothing. Women? Actually, Large being good as well. How come Marty got called into the Dave Portnoy show today?

So, on most of the line, which is still a thing somehow, Marty, they were about to go live, and they had hot mics. Oh. There's an intern named Kat, and they decided on the hot mics to talk shit about the intern named Kat. Kat walked into the production room, the control room, right as they were deciding to talk shit about the intern named Kat. Kat walked into the production room, the control room, right as they were deciding to talk shit about her. She didn't like it.

It got up to Dave and they had to go answer for it. What did they say? I've probably done that myself. That actually kind of shook me up a little bit. When I'm in those rooms, I just think that's my safe space. I'm a little cunt in there. In there, I'm talking shit about everyone and everything.

That's what we do. Every single one of you guys. Yeah, I wasn't aware that the control room was just listening. Every time you're in a pod room, they probably don't listen every time, but they can listen every time. Oh, fuck. That's terrifying. So what?

Cat came in and they unplugged the headphones. They're like, you're going to want to hear this. No, it was just playing in the fucking... You just hear it in the room. She walked in there like, hey, speak of the devil check this out what were they what were they saying these are your friends i think it was something like she came to a gambling stream and was asking about gambling questions and marty was on the stream and didn't want to answer the questions during that and she's like i got a bunch of money on the line stop asking me stuff like that you're just being annoying

yeah so and I don't know Marty wasn't in the Dave Portnoy show long so I don't think it was a thing he was in there like a minute and a half two minutes

wanna bring her in here yeah let's bring her in something that I've noticed let's let her host yeah let's let her host put the queen back on her throne people go in

and then they fold and then Dave's just like well like it seems like people like they go in Dave tries to confront them and then they like talk it down. Which is whack.

When do you think you'll make your debut on there? Never. Me and Dave don't look each other in the eye. That's true. It is. They just put their heads down in the hallway. It's funny because every time I see him, he goes, I've said three words to this guy. But every single time it's three words.

Yeah. And the words keep on progressing. But the number stays the same. That's a fucking paradox. It is. Well, maybe it's three words. Yeah. And the words keep on progressing, but the number stays the same. That's a fucking paradox. It is. Well, maybe it's unique words. Yeah. It's probably unique words.

It's also eight words. What? But he's not saying that sentence to me. I have you. That is actually completely true. What are the three words other than I love you? I'm trying to think of a three-word sentence. Oh, I guess I hate you.

It's usually something around like, hey, good job. Good job. Good job. That's what a boy always wants to hear. From his boss man. And I respect the hell

out of him too. Something a lot of people don't understand. Should we get Kat in here? We should. Yeah. I don't know how to get her. I guess someone should get her. Brandon, can you go get her? We're not Yeah. I don't know how to get her. Someone should get her.

Brandon, can you go get her? We're not going to talk about that. Brandon, get her. Get her. Get her. Get her, Brandon. Brandon, get her. You're the getter.

No, but she'll respect you more. You stood up. You stood up, too. She'll respect you more. All right, you go get her. Oh, you guys are going to get her together. Get her. Get her.

Oh, shit. Oh, man. Oh, no. Oh, no. I, man. Oh, no. Oh, no. I want a nice haircut. I thought Owen's haircut looked nice. People were... Roan was shitting on it.

You were. No, I wasn't. The haircut's nice. It's almost talking smack. How did I talk smack? I said that he looks like a soldier. That's awesome. That's literally the sweetest thing you can be.

Yeah. A soldier. Yeah. Here comes Kat. From the 1950s. And Brandon and Owen. Hey, champ. What's up, kid?

Why don't you host? No, Brandon. Now you want to get... I thought it would be more comfortable if she didn't sit right in the middle. Now that a lady's in the room, Brandon wants to host. Yeah. No surprise. Hey, so what happened?

What's going on? Hey. Hey. Chin up, kid. Start from the beginning. Is everything all right, first of all? Yeah. Everything's all right.

Cool shoes. Cool, cool shoes. Really cool. Hold them up for the camera. Cool shoes. Nice shoes. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's put them up. Nike and Gucci. Gucci and Nike. Getting the headphones on. Why don't we get Duggs and Marty in here, too, and we'll just beat the shit out of them. Yeah. For 30 minutes straight.

So what the fuck happened? Okay. Start from the beginning. Like this weekend? No, the very beginning. The very beginning. The very beginning is... A little before the beginning like this weekend no the very beginning the very beginning the very beginning is

a little before the beginning Angelina now I want a prequel to this story no there's so you know you have to tell me that afterwards

okay okay we'll go back tell me the beginning last Nikki Angelina yeah she got hired and wanted to do

more content and was kind of asking me to help her brainstorm ideas. So I was like, why don't we do a collab between you and I and you'll teach me how to gamble, because that's her gig, her little bit, her gig. And then we were filming a video on Friday, went to the new show.

That's Brandon's little bit, too. His little gig. His little gig that he does. His little gig bit. That is Brandon's. Every time, that's all Brandon's little bit too That is Brandon's Every time That's all Brandon's little bit So we went to The New Jersey house on Friday

There was a stream going on We went to film our own video It was her teaching me how to gamble The world of gambling The sports book stream going on we went to film like our own video it was her teaching me how to gamble the world of gambling the sports book and then yesterday i went into the control room three minutes how did it go by the way in um hoboken it well when it was just us it was good but then when it was other people no one was really talking to us no one was acknowledging us they're being jerks yeah i've been there.

Yeah. Yeah, we felt a little out of place. Who was the biggest jerk? Yeah. Name all the assholes, please. Marty. Marty. Yep.

It was Marty. It was Marty. Was he just ignoring you or was he doing things to make you feel bad? Ignoring us. And then we heard, like, we left the room. There were some comments made. Why are they here? Just, like, unwelcoming environment. Nothing like the Yak.. Why are they here? Just, like, unwelcoming environment.

Nothing like the Yak. Yak is super welcoming. Do you think it was... You were so welcoming. Was it water or something? This one's unopened and it's cold. Were they being sexist? You want it, Kyle?

No, I think it was honest. If they were, don't say it. Honest. Water. Please, please. Thank you. The hospitality. No sexism here.

So how did that night end? And then how did it progress towards what you overheard? Me and Angelina just left because we felt so awkward. We just left. Did you go to Green Rock? We did. You just had to drink the pain away by ourselves by ourselves you throw napkins we sat down we ordered food and then

some guy came up to us and was like i've never seen someone order food here really like it's just like a grimy place so then we didn't eat then we just went home what's the what is the number when you can no longer say by ourselves you can say with two. You were by yourself. Yeah. Can you say we went by ourselves with five people? No, I think it's two. It's two. Two men? Yeah. Two max?

Two. So when my girlfriend calls me and I can say I'm by myself when I'm cheating on her? Cool. So you guys are by yourselves. You too. And you just went home and you come back into work. What's your feeling about how the interaction went, and what's your plan going forward? Still going to do more content around gambling, or what's the move?

What was the next move? No, I felt so awkward. I got anxiety. Like, it was the worst. But then yesterday... It's the Sunday scary. Yeah, it was a Sunday scary. Brandon was confused. I was. He's not up to date was the worst. But then yesterday. It's the Sunday scary. Yeah, it was a Sunday scary. Brandon was confused.

I was. He's not up to date on the terms. I just had a confused look on my face, and he recognized. Anxiety? Yeah. It's like a mix of a hangover, and you're just super anxious. That means something different where I'm from. Yeah.

What does it mean? No. Continue. You wouldn't understand. Sunday scaries. You're the Sunday scaries. Yeah, the Sunday scaries. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Whoa, Pfeidelberg got? No. Continue. No, you wouldn't understand. Sunday Scaries. You're the Sunday Scaries. You're the Sunday Scaries. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Whoa. Feidelberg got a haircut. Ooh. All right. Focus up. Eyes on the ball.

Focus up, everybody. Everybody focus up. Eyes on the ball. All right. We'll just get to the beat. He's basically picking dandelions in left center field. I saw him and I didn't recognize him at first. You didn't recognize John Feidelberg?

You should see his haircut from the front. He was wearing a hat. You should see his haircut from the front. With that hat on? He looks like a completely different person. Sorry. Back to the question that we asked you. So what was your plan going forward?

Were you going to do more gambling content? You had anxiety. What was the root of it? And what was your move going forward after that? Well, I was like, I guess we'll see how it goes. It didn't go too well, so probably not. What didn't go too well? The gambling content.

Well, I mean, I guess we didn't even put the video out yet. So maybe I'll do numbies and then I'll keep doing it. Whoa. Careful. Wait, what's that word mean? I've never heard that word before. Do you guys say you coined it? I'm putting a copyright on that term.

Dave can use it, but he'll have to pay. He'll have to pay every single time. Good. And then what happened when you were in the control room and you overheard something? Yeah, yesterday I went to the control room about three minutes before Mush to the Line went live. They had hot mics. What do you think about that show, Mush to the Line? You know, it's kind of weird

it's mush line and the at is walk the line yeah it reminds me of somebody else's history on it you know it's hard it's like uh like a brady stidham situation it's exactly like that yeah exactly right so you walked in and i walked into control yeah musha lines about to start and the boys were just chirping me, saying I shouldn't have been at the gambling house on Friday and had no place. Who was the boys? Marty. I mean, there were other guys there, but he was holding the whole conversation.

Who else was there? Dukes. Dukes came on Chicks U, didn't he? He did. You gave him a platform. Someone you would consider a friend. Yeah, you platformed Dukes along with Rudy. You platformed a lot of guys on that show.

I did. And that's how they repay you. That's how they repay you. Yeah. Like Marty was meaner to me, but Dukes, it hurt more. Because it meant more. What did they say? Besides, she shouldn't have been

in the gambling cave that's no and on the stream they were like she shouldn't have been the stream like why is she at one of our biggest streams like just showing up she doesn't even do gambling like probably she doesn't even know it's our biggest biggest definitely not one of our biggest streams no i checked at one point i had had like 300 views. I wasn't there. Right. See? Right. And so was it what they said or was it how they said it?

Both. Feels like it's mostly Marty Mush. It was. Yep. Definitely mostly him. A lot of people say he's kind of fake, but do you think he's a real asshole? I don't think he's a real asshole. I't you just think he needs like someone needs to save him he just needs some work he needs to say he needs to put in the work is was this about maybe plagiarism from his perception i heard he said that to somebody but then we just went on the dave portnoy show and

he didn't even bring it up to me. What do you mean plagiarism? Making a gambler? Is that what they did? Yeah, fights. And then yours was a different concept, obviously. Yeah, but I had never heard of that until yesterday when somebody said that to me. You're not digging through the archives. No. And also, we have very different audiences.

So my audience is me and I've never seen it. So it's like 18 to 24-year-old girls aren't watching Making a Gambler with Marty. That was also already a spinoff of something that existed. That was with Marty in Fights? Yeah. And where's Fights been with that? I haven't even seen him recently.

I saw a man walking with a hat and a giant red mustache. That could have been anybody. That could have been anyone. That could have been anybody in the office. Could have been anyone under the sun. And so what's the move going forward? I heard Marty reached out.

He wanted to apologize. And you said, no, the damage has been done. You've done enough. I refuse to accept the apology. No, we actually just hashed it out in the studio. And he did give me a hug. And he said, I would like to help you. If you want me to help you with that video, I will.

He actually did apologize. And he said, I would like to help you. If you want me to help you with that video, I will. He actually did apologize. And he said, I'm not like sorry that I said it. I'm not going to pretend I didn't say it, but I'm sorry it hurt your feelings. Wow. That's a good apology. I'm not sorry. What about Dave? What was his reaction?

He was just mainly like we should pay more attention to like who goes on the streams and stuff but Gaz and Jack McCarthy both said for me and Anne to go on the stream so it's not like we just walked on to it and we also were there for five minutes for like a clip for our video and then we left okay all right yeah wow I've been on the streams I don't even watch it got blown out of proportion you think so yeah 100% were whispering. Let's keep blowing it up. Yeah, I think it's juicy. I like that it's blown out of proportion. I want us to go mainstream.

I personally would like to apologize on behalf of the gambling people. We're not all like Marty. We aren't. You're welcome to be on. That was my first time. I went 0 for 2 and I got shunned out of the room.

I'm like, I don't have a great experience with gambling. Sometimes you're just, you're cranky, you're down like what, 20, 25 bucks? Yeah.

You just want to scream. Take it out on the first person you see. Yeah. It's not fair, it's not right. But we'll all work on this going forward

and I'm glad you guys got to some kind of resolution. People should tune in to the Dave Portnoy Show to hear the entire confrontation with the boss man mediating. Yeah. Yeah.

I just want to welcome you to any stream in the future. All right? There's a lot of seats there. Thank you. There's a billion seats. You can take any of them. I want you to be there, okay?

Thank you. That means a lot to me. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you. That was nice. That was very nice.

That was nice. Brando. Brando. You feel good? You feel weight lifted? Yeah. I do. I do.

It's intimidating. That's what the yak's for. It's more comforting. Your phone. You left your phone. If you'd like. Don't forget your phone. It happens.

I'm always leaving my phone place. Coming running back. Thank you. They retrieve it. Praying to God. What a bitch. So she's in the wrong. What?

How would you guys mediate that? Or how would you judge it after the fact? Who do you think was... Aren't there like 30 people during those streams and two of them are talking? Why would you give a fuck if other people are there? The streams are absolute disorganized chaos. They were trying to be on their phones.

Why would you give a fuck if there were two other people there? There's disorganized chaos. I don't know be on their phones. Like, why would you give a fuck if there's two other people there? There's disorganized chaos. I don't know why. I think it's misplaced frustration. I think people want the streams tighter, but I don't think that's the fact they're trying to cut. I'm messing with Marty, but I agree. There needs to be a little bit more regulation of how the seats get divvied up a little bit. But whatever.

They were invited to be there, so they get to be there. So you're saying someone should produce the streams? Honestly, I think the moral is talk shit as long as nobody else can hear. Yeah. Yeah.

When you're talking shit, make sure you're in a safe place. We should at least have shit-talking rooms. Or like we should know when the light's on when someone's listening instead of this two-way mirror

fucking FBI bullshit that's going on. We should be able to hear the control room. Because that guy Andrew is probably telling Dave he loves him or some bullshit like that. If you are sitting, if you're about to go live in two minutes

and there's a microphone in front of you and a camera on you, people might be listening. Tech Guy Andrew's text that meant for his girlfriend might have a beer shrugging. That means he's getting drunk, right? That means that he's probably already four in. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I might have a beer.

Yeah. I'm not going to be able to sober up by the time I see her. I need to plan and fucking excuse. I'm shit-faced right now. What else did he send him? Kissy face, I think. Yeah. Just like, I'll be home and...

Uber drop off at 10.07. That's their number. Two kissy faces. 12.07. That's their anniversary date. Yeah, it is. Pearl Harbor Day? Yeah, they started dating.

On Pearl Harbor. A little too much information for her. She probably would have said, stop texting me too. Shut the fuck up. Leave me the fuck alone. Is that Kat Stickler out there? In the lobby? Who's that? Who's that? Sass, you know that Kat Stickler out there? In the lobby? Who's that?

Who's that? Sass, you know who Kat Stickler is? No. No one does? Oh, I do. Is that Kat Stickler? Recent divorcee. Recent divorcee.

She's the one. She's owning it. You ever see the... We've posted it a couple times on Barstool. The guy who's like, like, hey, babe, we're going to do what you want to do today. Like, we're going to go

to HomeGoods and then we're going to go get Frappuccinos and bottomless brunch. Yeah, and she makes the face. Like, go on. She's like putting her makeup on. This is a video?

Yeah. Yeah, it's a video. You would hate it. It's like, right? It's deep in your wheelhouse of shit that you would have hated. They got divorced like the week after

that shit happened. You want me to grab her? She is named Kat. I don't think it's actually her. She looks like her what was any story like how did that come out well they just were they were so obvious about how much they loved each other on tiktok and everything would be like this is how you got to spoil your man it looks a lot like her that's gotta be her and then she would just fucking sob no can't be can't be she look she look there's no way she heard that. And you didn't say the name. You just made an animal.

You're listening to an animal. Prehistoric noise. She probably thinks you saw a spider. Stickler wouldn't know. She's in the zone. Is that Stickler? Is that Cat Stickler? Who is that?

He's such an asshole. Yeah, he is. With his little puffy vest that he's had for fucking 14 years. And it hasn't lost a single feather. That shows he just is very cautious. Yeah, he is. Lose a feather. Do you think he has to fill it up with air every morning?

Yeah, he probably gets a real stuff. Yeah. He gets his vest taxidermied once a year. Oh, man. Sass? stuff yeah he has his best taxidermy once a year oh man sass great set thank you appreciate it people don't people don't like when we talk they said to my boy i haven't had the chance to talk to you but i watched it on the train back and i really enjoyed it thank you we can tell the jokes that he said now because they're out in the public yeah definitely the amtrak joke was probably my favorite let's uh let's try try and hit it on the head. Let's try and say it again.

Verbatim? Yeah. I went home to visit my mom recently, actually. And then what did you say after that? Oh, we don't need to redo the entire thing. You said, I took the Amtrak. Someone said, woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and then... And then, of course, the crowd went nuts. They did go nuts. Too easily, which I didn't like. I liked it in the moment, looking back on it, like watching the videos. They probably helped you out a lot mentally. People literally thought there was a laugh track. People also thought, did we talk about, they thought...

They thought every single person from the office was in the crowd. Caleb were in the crowd. I talked to like three people in the office. Yeah. There's no chance that half the office is coming to crowd. Caleb were in the crowd. I talked to like three people in the office. Yeah. There's no chance that half the office is coming to my live. Sorry, Brando. It's us. We were in a meeting and Sass refused to talk to the people in the meeting.

He wouldn't even look at us. I get to talk to three. They big man you. They bring you in. They're like, well, I'm the executive of this. Let's just say I know Instagram like it's like my own kid. And then you're like, I don't think we should do this. And they're like, we should.

Is that a hypothetical? They're like, I have the numbers here. Somebody say those words. Did someone utter those words? No. Oh, thank God. You're like Frank when he talks about the Mets. Things that have never happened, but it could. Well, I was saying like that's like what it's like they big man you and then roan i'm looking for roan to say something because i need him to stick up for me is he a fucking pushover

oh yeah yeah he's like look he's like look i love you guys i love what you guys are doing i appreciate you guys so much i want actually you guys to take 50 of the revenue from the podcast i think you guys are just be be on his phone the entire time like, no. You were talking to them like they were your parents being like, hey, we want to plan a trip for the summer. You're like, I don't give a fuck. We can just go wherever. I don't care if you go on a fucking vacation. I don't even like the beach.

I don't like shooting down people's ideas. And I was like, okay, we will talk about the ideas. We'll try them out, but if we don't like doing them, we're not going to do them. Because in my head, they're like, oh, you should try this. And in my head, I'm like, that's never happening. But I don't want to say that to them. Well, now they're probably listening and not your true ideas. Yeah, this would be ideal.

It would be ideal for them to figure out this way, rather than me having to direct myself to them. You just need to have hot mics everywhere. You never have to confront anybody. direct a talk to them. You just need to have hot mics everywhere. Yeah, we need to have hot mics. You never have to confront anybody. You just talk about them. I'm like, all right. Yeah, I mean, the news is out there, what you think. Oh, no.

Someone's in a mood. Somebody's cranky. Why you always in a mood? Fuck around. Today we saw KB walking by the office, and we were yelling his name. KB! KB! And he just didn't even flinch. Kept walking by the office and we were yelling his name. KB! KB! And he just didn't even flinch.

Kept walking right by. Did I have AirPods in by chance? Did you walk past the office? Yeah. I was listening to Prelude by Sunburn. Seven minute song, maybe six and a change. That was Sunburn? Yeah. It doesn't have vowels in it. S-N-B-R-N. God damn it. Stylized all caps. Wow.

The future of Future House. If that makes sense to you guys. Nah. You got to get a sweet name for that kind of house. And you just wanted to keep the song going? Yeah, I wanted to just take a lap and want to walk in the building and look at people when I was listening to one of my favorite songs. Yeah, someone could ruin it. You come face to face with Josh D.M.

in a Coogee sweater and that'll ruin your song real fucking bad. It just takes one Coogee. Yeah, there it is. There it is, Bob. It's behind me, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh, no. No. JDM, no. Oh. No. JDM, leave. Who is that girl? Your sweater. Take it off. It's Kat Ziegler. It's got to be.

Yeah. It's Kat Ziegler. Ask him what Ebony posted. Josh, what did Ebony post on her story? Fine, who's that girl? Don't use your phone. No cheating. Under the mic, Josh.

Is this your first fucking rodeo? It isn't. I know for a fact it isn't. Which question do you want me to answer first? Mine. I asked her them both at the same time. Who's the girl? If you can.

She starts next week. She's big on TikTok. Her name's Jordan. How big? Kind of. I don't know. That sounds big. I mean, she. That sounds big.

She's good on TikTok. Second question. Ebony was like before you eat my pussy finger it and then rub it against your gums like you're doing cocaine. Can we clip that like it's just him saying it? Can we quote him?

Let's have Jordan come in. Jordan. She's big on TikTok. She's not hired yet. She starts next week. That's higher. She's not in the pirate ship yet. We can get her in.

She was already at 310 with Kareem. What? She was already at what? Nothing. I didn't hear what you said. I thought he was making a Yuma reference. He was. I love train movies.

Do you? Oh, fuck yeah. Nick, you said you're getting into trains. Big into trains. Big train accident in Montana. I guess that's your thing. Yeah, deadly. Deadly.

Three people. There are trains in Montana? Pretty not bad. It's not that bad for like, when you think of a derail, I feel like you think like most people are dying on that train. Yeah, three. Three's not bad. Yeah.

Three's a blessing. Well, it depends on how many people are on the train, right? It's an Amtrak. There were two. They hit one person. It was over 100% of the passengers died. That's fucked up. You guys are fucked up.

You have no respect for the dead. It's true. I respect the dead. Yeah? Yes. I respect the dead. All of them? Yeah.

Yeah. And I'd make friends with a murderer. Would you? Listen to Son of a Boy. I kind of lost. I stopped following the laundry case. What's going on there? I think that no new developments.

They assume he's still living out in the wild. Oh, he's on the lam? Yeah. Yeah, we can't find him. Dog the Bounty Hunter is after him. Shut up. Oh, look who it is. Oh, wow.

Yeah, just in time. Well, well, well. it is. Oh, wow. Yeah, just in time. Well, well, well. Happy haircut. Have a seat. Happy fucking haircut. We've been waiting. We literally have been silent. Paid in rent.

So I guess we should start. Yeah, probably. Let's get it going. We almost had a new cat on the show. We have two ads. All right. Funny prank, but we've probably lost a two-year-old show. Oh, yeah, sass. Yeah.

Ratio. I'm sorry. I really hate the fall. It's a lot. Well, it's just a lot because I can't... I was like, we had... I tell everyone, don't schedule anything from 1 to 2, and then things just get scheduled from 1 to 2,

and then they get moved from 1 to 2. It's not just a lot of respect. It's like, oh, well, this guy can't do it at 2 anymore. He can only do it at 1. It's like, well, fuck. And do it at two anymore he can only do it at once and I get sad and I miss you guys I love yucking it up with you I miss you

I miss you guys a lot what do you guys see yucking it up with oh nice haircut Owen a lot of haircuts going around Owen I got a funny story to tell you off air oh fuck Ro knows it as well A lot of haircuts going around. Oh, and I got a funny story to tell you. Okay. Off air. Oh, fuck. Uh-oh.

Road knows it as well. Road and I went on a chopper last night. Yeah, did you talk to Dave? I did hear a story. About me? It would interest you. No, adjacent. You talked to Dave?

About what? Numbees? Oh, I brought it up, yeah. He's got a new shirt he was wearing on Sunday. Yeah, I heard. Yeah. He just kind of shrugged. Massive numbees or something? He said, it's mine now. Guarante Yeah, I heard. He just kind of shrugged. Massive numbies or something?

He said, it's mine now. Guaranteed numbies. Guaranteed numbies. I do the numbies now. Just a shrug? Yeah. Sass, I thought we proved yesterday you weren't the first to say numbies, though. In the office, I was.

Not even in the office. Yeah? Didn't I say it before you? No. You said it in 2020. I said it in 2019. Yo, KB, what the fuck? But you weren't in the office. What's up? Good to see you. That's love. You weren't working here yet. That know you said in 2020 I said in 2019. Okay, but you weren't Was I not no fucking guy KB high school in 2019

Yeah, yeah What are you guys chopping it up about Marty? Marty made a powerful enemy and cat Yeah, I saw sass did stand up. He put a special out. Yeah. Pretty much. Pretty sick.

Yeah. One guy's laugh was too loud. Who was that? Was it you? Yeah. That was actually Rowan Feidelberg and Casey. Damn. That was their combined laugh.

Wait, Marty made an enemy with a cat? Yeah. Cat, our employee. Who is Cat an enemy with a cat? Yeah Cat Our employee Who is Cat? You have an employee? Yeah my intern Okay

Who is Cat? She does Chicks U And? She's a little blonde haired girl She's been here for a while One of them blonde haired boys? There's only two types of people to you Blonde haired boys?

Blonde haired girls? One size two types Brandon how's your health? Good why? I mean, you almost died on Saturday. Yeah, you sound a little scratchy. Yeah. I got drunk on Saturday.

What? Can't relate. Not me. You were a trouble. Mm-hmm. And then you were up late last night. Yep. Ronan and I were just fucking shopping it up.

Dude, that was thrilling. Yeah, it was very funny. Best way to see the city. You guys gotta try it. You didn't dangle, though. What do you mean? Oh, he was talking

about the ratio, I think. Yeah. No, the ratio was thrilling. It was way more thrilling than the chopper. Oh. Yeah. Because it's also like

Sass and I were texting. People were freaking out about it because I'm like two years late to it? Maybe three? No, I think it's people were freaking out about it because when i i'm i'm like two years late to it maybe three no i think it's like a year okay either way when i show up to didn't have a word until a year that late it's like uh it's like the cubs winning the world series or like the red side or like the browns if they won a super bowl like a long losing franchise and they finally get that release. The replies were very funny.

There were so many. Just like GIFs and like. Yeah, everyone who rides or dies with me is like someday he's going to figure out the ratio joke and it's going to be incredible. Brandon, where are you heading off to? Chicken Throat. It's going to be Chicken Throat. I just got here. Say something, Brandon.

You can't wait. I literally just got here. I just sat down for the first time this week. I'd like to eat. I want to talk to my boys. Brandon Chicken Throat. What are we going to do about Thursday? We're not going to be here.

Oh, shit. So we got to postpone. Yeah. Again. It's fucked. We're going on busting with the boys. That's the court system. We're about to bust with the boys.

We do get postponed. I mean, it's the boys. That's the court system. We're about to bust with the boys. Yeah, we understand. We do get postponed. I mean, it's just procedural. Nobody's fault. When's next Thursday? Next Thursday. It's probably seven days after this. Oh. Yeah, next Thursday is going to be fucked as well.

I think Frank's going to just flip out at me. We need that live show. That'd be cool. That's next Thursday. That's not next Thursday, is it? No. I saw Brandon and I made the graphic. That was cool.

Yeah, but we tweeted the graphic, but not where or when or what. And it was just Brandon and I with a question mark. I don't know why I would put out that. Then people would just call the place, ask them for tickets. No, no. I don't know. Yeah, no, I know. Dude, the tickets go on sale today.

Tonight, I believe. Fuck yeah. Anybody flying in from Utah to see you? Whoa. Sorry. That was almost bad. Let him get his check. Do you want to come, though, Big Cat?

Yeah, I think so. All right, yeah. That's all you need to do. Run it, run it. So we can run that. Get on the phone right now. Let's get the bigger venue Yeah

You just left Jack up the ticket prices But he just got up and left He literally did But he had to eat his chicken now He has to eat his chicken now There's like 10 minutes left in the show What an asshole piece of shit

That's what I say about him What a piece of shit That's what I feel about him And that's real I'm so glad I didn't have to do this process Like when I got hired What? Like coming in and waiting to talk to like

Gaz I'm assuming Gaz What did you have to do? What was your process? Mine was just like a quick phone call Well you're A shooting star Well she's

Apparently she's big on TikTok How are the numbies doing on your special? I don't know. Yeah? A lot. A lot. Fuck yes. Yeah.

We in six figs? No, I don't think so. Going to the moon. I think, yeah. Mid-five figs, though, definitely. Mid-fives? No, high fives. Birds.

Where were you, Nick? A wedding. That went through to Monday? So it was... Wasn't it an Ethiopia wedding? Rehearsal dinner was Thursday. Wedding was Friday, the weekend. And then I came back yesterday.

What do you mean the weekend? What was the weekend? I just stayed in Wheeling. You didn't come into the office? I was here. He was here. You weren't. I saw you on the stream with Kat.

One of our biggest streams. Yeah, you were on the biggest stream of the year. That's so funny that they said it was one of the biggest streams. Wait, tell me this. Please. Marty talked shit on a hot mic and Kat heard it. He didn't like her being on the streams. Marty and Dee saying Kat and Ann shouldn't have been on the stream.

It was one of the biggest of the year. Which it was not. Marty said it was one of the biggest of the year on a Sunday. No, he was talking about the Friday stream. Friday. The Yankees one. I actually specifically remember looking at the stream because it came up on my feed and thinking, wow. Because it was one of the biggest of the year.

Wow, these numbers are low. Oh, jeez. Do you think if Kat and Ann were on it, it would have been higher? I do. You're a horny fuck. You are. I stand with the women. Sue me.

Sue them. Sass can't watch sports without some tits involved. Yeah. See, the Rams have male cheerleaders. Doesn't that suck, Sass? Don't you hate that? That's so lame. You see that the Sixers are going to have a woman play-by-play announcer what so i guess i won't be watching that

they wanted people to be pissed off about it so bad i'll be watching but not listen i think this is watching on mute yeah they're gonna say she's fucking up a play-by-play you just say what you see what's happening no that's that's not happening. This is a disgrace to the league. So what is the fallout of Marty? They hashed it out and hugged DP. But she wouldn't accept his apology at first. No, I don't

think he apologized. No, he texted her and saying I want to apologize and she wouldn't answer his text and then eventually he said, I'm not going to say sorry I said it, but I'm sorry that you got upset about it. Ooh, that's even worse. That's just gaslighting yeah that's gaslighting i just i'm trying to decide if i should care about this i don't think i should yeah okay it was fun it was funny for it was like fun and light it was the way we did it yeah the format of oh because you were watching them go in and out yeah they did it did it earlier, and then we're like, we kind of cucked Dave's show and got the whole confrontation on our show.

It'd probably also help if I knew who Cat was. There's Frank. Should we tell him now? No. No, no, no, no, no. Look how happy he looks. He'll have a conniption. Last thing we need is another conniption.

He looks so happy. He is. He wore his brightest colors. Yeah, he does look like a minion. Wait, I suppose he his glasses, too. Now I want him on the show. He's a minion. He knows exactly what he's doing.

He's trapping you. He minioned us. Tomorrow he's going to dress like... He does look like a minion. What if they were based on Frank The same way that Between Two Ferns Was unknowingly based on Frank

What if he's like Just the touchstone For all comedy and culture I think he might be He's gumping That's just all that comes from him He's gumping He might have just done it all

He's a tree of comedy life Yeah He might have been the seed I mean Here comes Marty Marty Oh boy Who's he with Does he have fights Yeah. He might have been the seed. Here comes Marty. Oh, boy. Who's he with? Is that fights?

His house, his apartment is basically Seinfeld with Ralph being Kramer. Just his upstairs crazy name. Ralph is Newman. You think so? No, I think they're friends. I might be calling them both. I think they're friends. Are they?

Yeah. But even Frank knows Ralph's crazy, right? Who knows? Frank will be like, yeah, Ralph is a crazy sports fan. And we're like, okay. Frank, how'd you get that hole in your shirt? Why are your glasses broken again? Ralph must come through the wall like the Kool-Aid man.

That's what he has to be doing. Ralph is who sat Frank down. He's like, you got to start eating your hat. You want to make it to the big leagues? Eat your fucking hat. They're going to start calling you a bandwagon and it's game over. He must be so pissed. Consume your clothes.

He must be furious about the Colts this year. Oh, he's a Colts fan. Frank lost three bills on the Mets game. That was his hat, not money. Holy fuck. Yeah, I thought, didn't we try to hire Ralph at some point? I think we did. Did we?

Yeah. That's a weird use of we. I'm not in the hiring process. We tried to hire him alone. Let's call him up. I think he might be in. Witness Protection. H-O-S-P I think he might be in. Witness Protection. H-O-S-P-I-T-O.

Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. He's in hospitality? Well, that's a damn shame. He works at a hotel? Mm-hmm.

Oh. We got to keep our eye out for him. I can't believe it's taking this long for Frank to get a new apartment. He brought a friend on Sunday, and it wasn't Ralph, which was disappointing. Was it Abe? Oh, man. No. It was a stranger he mini-golfs with. Oh, man. Does it sound like a stranger? That sounds like a close friend.

There's Andrew texting. Text guy Andrew. He should text and walk. Fucking text guy Andrew. Here come the higher-ups. Yeah, if you want to see who Sass just has major beef with. Oh, they're gone now. Sass got in a meeting through a temper tantrum.

Oh, yeah. House slipping tables. He dumped the garbage out. He's like, I fucking make everyone your salary. You will respect me. I'm not a fucking guinea pig. That's what it was like. We want you to put out one video every year and he was

like nah i'm not gonna do it no that's not what happened roan no shit it was much deeper than that and much more personal it's not what fucking happened what uh what kind of what did you get for dinner last night big cat i had a prime rib steak no strip do they not have like do they have like uh do they have like flight attendants and stuff on the helicopter no they wheel over they wheel over the food no we went to dinner. The snack cart. So the coolest part about being on a helicopter is not actually being on a helicopter. It's not seeing the stuff.

This is the first time I've ever been on one. It's getting to wear the headset and talk to each other like you're in a mission. Well, that's how you can hear each other. It's too loud otherwise. I didn't know that. It's fucking awesome. Did you just feel like you were on the act?

Kind of. Yeah, I should have went live. You should have. You wouldn't have been able to hear us. But wouldn't you say that were on the act? Kind of. Yeah. You guys should have went live. But Dave was there. You should have. You wouldn't have been able to hear us. But wouldn't you say that was the coolest part? Oh, yeah. Because it does the whole...

And the guy was like... It's off and then you speak and it's... He was like, check this out. And then he started doing barrel rolls with it. It was fucking sick. We were fucking getting shaken up like a cocktail in a mixer. Where did you guys land? The airport.

And then we drove to the steakhouse. We had a steak. It would have been cool if it was just on a building. I know. I'd have been scared if it was on a building. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I didn't want to be on top of a building at all. I liked that we were just ground, air, ground.

Yeah. Right next to the river. If you crashed in the river, you could probably survive. 100%. So easily. You, yes. You. Yeah, you would to the river. If you crash in the river, you could probably survive. 100%. Oh, easily. You, yes. You, yeah, you would too. I'd float.

Dude, our helicopter pilot, the only reason I felt safe, dude had a sick ponytail. Ponytail, yeah, it was the ponytail. It was the ponytail. Like, that guy's not going to fucking crash. No, he's lived too long growing that thing. Yeah, right. He's not going to squander it. He's got too much to lose.

Yeah. Fuck a family. You know how long I've been growing this? I'm not going growing that thing. Yeah, right. He's not going to squander it. He's got too much to lose. Yeah. Fuck a family. Find a man with a ponytail. He's not going to fucking die. Yeah. He's got four kids. Well, this guy's got a ponytail. When I walk on a plane, I have a bald pilot.

Yeah. Out. Call my mom. He has nothing to live for. How did you feel about being up there knowing that you're going to have to jump out of one of those? Very scared. Yeah.

Roan mentioned that and I was like he's like you could just not do it and I was like unfortunately I don't think I can just not do it yeah that's going to be awesome

I'm pumped for that it's going to be very very very scary although you want to stop there with you sure before that sure I don't think I'd be able to handle

an Apache I think I'm gonna be in an Apache I'll be in a fighter jet I need a pony fast is doing the flyover at the Arizona Bowl yeah that would be that would be I think I'm going to be in an Apache. I'll be in a fighter jet. I need a ponytail. Fast is doing the flyover at the Arizona Bowl. Yeah. That would be sick.

That would be awesome. Yeah. That's something I would do. You'd fly a jet plane over a studio. No, no, no. But I would like to be in one of the jets. You know what? I'll fucking do it.

Yeah, I'll fly a jet. Thanks, bro. We need a jet. No one wanted to do it. No one would step up To the plate Yeah What if I was in What if I was doing the flyover

And they got like some super Like They got some call And they're like We gotta actually go do something And I had to ride with them Yeah We gotta go to Afghanistan

You just went I'm like I think I should get out I think you guys should drop me off We're brothers I do have A thousand kills Too late I have two things From the weekend One when we did I think I should get out. I think you guys should drop me off. We're brothers. I do have a thousand kills.

Too late. I have two things from the weekend. One, when we did the meet and greet in Chicago and Aurora, there were multiple, I'm talking like four to five Yak t-shirts. Really? That's exciting. It was awesome. We're national, baby. It was awesome.

They must have been bootleg. There was a squad of Yak girls at Sassasher. Really? A lot of Yak girls, yeah. I get a lot of Yak. I love the Yak. They were like, you guys always say girls don't listen to the Yak. I was trying to fucking tell a 9-11 joke to them.

Then I picked my finger until it was bleeding. I was disturbing. Yeah, I actually have a picture. It was just gushing blood. He ripped his cuticle out of his fingertips. It's your defense mechanism. It's a fight or flight. Two, I love the security guards.

Two of them came with us. They're fucking awesome. This is my favorite. Yeah, no, he came with us. I heard he's intimidated by me. Did you say that? Did you tell that to yourself? Yeah, we're trying to be a voice member of you.

Someone told me that the security guy is timid. We always slap the floor in front of him like you're a defender in college. Just like challenge him. Go wrestle him right now.

Give him a little tug. Just tug. Just tug him. I do that all the time. I'll tug him. Give him a tug. Give him a tug. Walk past like you're not.

Sneak attack. Sneak attack. Get the camera out. Hang on. Hang on. He's ready for it. There it is. The camera's on him. walk past like you're not just sneak attack sneak attack get the camera out hang on hang on he's ready for it there it is the camera's on him so just look the other way thank you man we trust you we trust you now Thank you, man.

We trust you. We trust you now. That was the real one. The best part is when he was like, what the fuck? Yeah, he's like, all right, we're going. He's shaking up. His heart rate's going. So awesome.

You don't get to fight with live rounds that often. Yeah, you're keeping him sharp. We got live bullets, boys. Iron sharpens iron. He's always got to be ready when you're around. He's crazy. He is. Eso es loco. Oh, yes.

What's he doing? What is that move? He said he beat you down. He said he beat you to a pulp. He's going to fucking smash you. Fuck's going to beat you to a pulp. Fuck you up. He's going to fucking smash you. Fuck him. Get ready for that. Shit.

Is your heart rate going a little? A little bit. Yeah. Love it. Love it. I'm actually working out like crazy. I'm in the preliminary stages of evolving into a beast. Oh.

Get serious. What are you doing? Are you doing like- I'll do a torso reveal in February? No. Early November. Really? Early November torso reveal?

Torso reveal. I'll do it too. I need to hold myself accountable. Yes, no one knows what's better than that. No one knows. I'll hold myself accountable. He's got 17 nipples. Wait, so can we put that in the books?

Calendar? Torso reveal? Day? Oh, big cat, we have a nut off. We have a nut off. We have a nut off. 17 nipples. Wait, so can we put that in the books? Calendar? Torso reveal? Day? Oh, big cat, we have a nut off. We have a nut off. 29. We have a nut off, too. My boy against...

My boy Ruiz. Say no more. Roan's boy versus Pat. My boy. Wait, can I get in? You got a big set? I mean, you'll podium. You can be like the baseline for comparison.

Oh, I thought it was a different type of nut off. No, no, no. It's all quantity. Who can come the most? We could do that. It could be like the undercard. Yeah. The undercard will be

who can come the least in a year. Yeah. Opaqueness. Yeah. Smell. Yo, Nick, did you fuck at the wedding?

No. Oh, God, no. No, but come on. Did you fuck? No, I didn't. I went home after the wedding to my house. My parents' house. Did you fuck? No, I didn't. I went home after the wedding to my house. My parents' house. Did you fuck?

No. Why? You heard I fucked? I heard you fucked. It's going around. That's what Nico told me. Nico didn't. No.

Yes. Nico didn't even fuck. Was Nico there? Yes, of course. Everybody was invited. I used to go to his Fourth of July parties. Yeah, you were his neighbor. Village Field.

Unity Park. So, you're saying that nico's lying yeah or you're lying nico's lying he said you fucked nico's nico's too busy fucking nico's been on weird mode on twitter puts out thoughts he does that's a very that's like that's a music industry thing though no he was just like eggs are low-key incredible that's like a griffin that's like a griffin johnson tweet no i'm all about those That's a music industry thing, though. No, he was just like, eggs are low-key incredible. That's like a Griffin Johnson tweet. No, I'm all about those kinds of tweets. I respect it. Last night he sent off a software will start religions. What does that mean, Nico?

Oh, no. He's dropping gems. You want everything to be a fucking jokey joke. Chicken throat bitch. He really does have health problems. Do you? We know. We talked about it. He has a full body headache.

Oh, yeah. Full body headache. What is your problem? Are you going to go see a doctor? And what are you going to say? I don't think your mic's on. You think they're going to prescribe you more water? No, I have migraines.

Yeah, they're going to be like, hey, here's some more water, bitch. It's about more than water. I have triggers. I have all these. What are your triggers? What are your triggers? UV. Oh, you're autistic.

People call you a moron online? online No that's not one of my triggers Well that is definitely a trigger That's not one of my migraine triggers Oh It's different? I don't get a migraine from that No I It's a serious health issue

I gotta go get it looked at You should go to my dermatologist It's a serious health issue Don't do that It's a life or death Don't try to make it So that we can't make fun of you What if I die?

That would be a tragedy. How long until we take him off the graphic? Within seconds. No, no, you keep it up. There's still like a little jiggle to the pulse. Yeah, I'd like it to be within the same hour that they actually pronounce him dead. Yeah. Do you want to make a backup graphic?

That's how they have to pronounce it. Yeah, let's have a backup graphic. Many women find their migraines improve after menopause. Oh, you're close. Oh, Brandon. 55. Have we done any of the ads today? No.

Do the ads. I'll do sport clips. Do them both. Do them both. I'm not allowed to do the other one. So when you need to slow down, just open up a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment made to chill. It tastes great from the Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado.

So slow down and celebrate responsibly. Get Coors Light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. T-A-K-E. Get the security guard again. No, just walk by regularly. Yes, if you flinch. Yeah yeah because we can't do these okay you got a haircut recently i did where'd you go sport clips of course you did a haircut shouldn't feel

that relaxing but it does it's sport clip haircut sport clips haircuts that's because sport clips not clips it is clips it's not sports. It's not sports. It's sport. Sport clips. Clips. Yes. That's because stylists just don't wash your hair. They use seven pressure point massaging shampoo technique that is so relaxing, you melt in your seats.

Yeah. I came last time. Yeah, of course you did. And the hot steam towel. Yep. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. I got a hot steam towel yesterday. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. Of-hmm. I got a hot steam towel yesterday.

It was awesome. Oh, yeah. Of course you did. Oh, at the steakhouse? Nope. At Sport Clips. It's infused with tea tree oil and perfectly steamed, leaving you feeling like you just left a Swedish sauna.

Mm-hmm. And I can only imagine what happens in a Swedish sauna. Yeah. It's a lot like a Sport Clips. And to top it off You get a pinpoint cut Stop by sport clips today And ask for the MVP haircut experience It's ridiculously relaxing

Sport clips the pros in men's hair Wow I've actually been to sport clips Oh fuck yeah V V I V V I V

V V V V V V V V

V V V V V V V V

V V V V V V V V

V V V V V V V V

V V V V V V V V

V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva. Viva.

Viva. Viva. Yeah. All right. Is that the show? I don't know. I guess. I'm down to keep going.

I think we just hit our stride. Yeah. I might go eat again. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right'm not going to eat again. All right. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's the act.