The Yak - Experimenting to Find the Perfect Straw | The Yak 8-23-22

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Rone has a castYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello! It's the Yak. And. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. And the baby boy is back. The prince who was promised. The baby boy was always here.

Oh, yeah. The baby boy's sass. No, that's Owen. Yep. The prince who was promised. He had a little bit of an injury. His roan. Yes.

It's so sick he casts actually oh shit dude be careful hurt your arm again can't though that's what he was like most people i tell them that they can't like it's not a weapon but with you like your arm's not even broken underneath it yeah it's like the guys in uh in the nfl when they get the club and they're just smashing people fullback'm a fullback now. I might be more likely to break my arm because of how reckless I'm going to be with this fucking cast on, dude. Oh, my God. It feels fucking sweet. No, not yet.

It's still, like, wet. It's going to be gross, dude. He's like, you cannot sweat at all. Like, even a moderate amount of sweat will make it stink so much. And, like, you can't get it wet in the shower, not just because it'll dissolve. With most people, that would be their only concern. But, like, if you get it wet and it can't dry,

your skin will rot underneath it. Oh! He took it very seriously. You had a little bracelet on. He's like, if I do the cast on this bracelet, it could potentially, like, grow into your arm. Yeah, ruin your skin forever forever i did try to get roan to get his fingers but he said that that would be very bad or like the uh henry roan

gardner like at the full what if that did get me a fucking sweet ass fastball a nice ass two it's gonna feel so crazy when you roll your wrist for the first time after i know do you think i'll be smarter jordan woodruff was out there being like oh my god your wrist for the first time after i know do you think i'll be smarter jordan woodruff was out there being like oh my god your wrist is going to be so small when it comes off it's like dude it's a week my muscles aren't going to add your feet down to nothing in a week yeah i was in a internment camp or some shit it's just going to be the same people are going to just be like what happened to you i know people already have like, even just walking into the office. Wheel happened. Yeah, it really is just dumb for the show. But I do like attention.

Yeah, dude. I was like, when he started doing it, I was like, I kind of want one myself. I wanted one in middle school so bad. Yeah, yeah. In middle school, it looked sweet, dude. Ron, we missed the French restaurant yesterday by, like, a millimeter. For real? Yeah, we got a wheel reset.

Me, Nate, and two other people. Two other folks. We have video of Ron getting the cast. Yeah, they're trying to reset. Me, Nate, and two other people. Two other folks. We have video of Rome getting the cast. Yeah, they're trying to figure out how to plug an SD card in. Oh, okay, SD card. They got to get the SD card. That shit's damn near impossible. The worst part about it so far that I haven't expected

is just not being able to use my thumb to pick things up. I was out buying my straw item after I got the cast, and you can't reach your thumb across to fully pick things up. I was out buying my straw item after I got the cast and I like, you can't reach your thumb across to like fully pick stuff up. You kind of have to do some weird stuff between the fingers. You seem to be in good spirits

right now, but in three days this is going to fucking suck. Oh yeah, yeah. It's fun, right? It's a fun new toy. Yeah, but for now. It's going to be fun to itch.

And I'm still on the painkiller so I'm fucking feeling great. That's the best part about the cast. Fuck, it's good to have you back. Is he going to come back to get it off? Yeah, he's going to come back. He was like,

I'll come back next Wednesday. I was like, how about Tuesday? But Big Cat won't be here Tuesday, and he really wants to see it come off. I want to see it come off. It might be Wednesday. He said Monday. I said he could do Monday.

I might do. I'll see how I feel in a day or so. Do you want Nick to take it off for you since you did surgery on him? That's a good point. Ooh, well, he's going to bring a saw, so Nick can just be the one who does the saw. I don't think it's just like a Black & Decker. Oh, yeah.

It's just the average bone saw. Maybe that's part of the challenge. You have to go to Home Depot to get it off. Just do it yourself. Yeah. He said he's going to go down the line here and down the back, but it's a special saw that stops at the skin, but I don't know, dude. We can sign that, right?

Yes, yes. He said a silver Sharpie will look badass on this, so we got to find a way to get a silver Sharpie. It is good to have you back. How was Italy? It was fucking beautiful. I went to Italy. I also went to Ireland.

Yeah, that's right. You're going back next week, right? Yeah, I want to make sure that I get back while I still have the cast on. So many people are pissed off that I didn't have the cast out there that I need to show in good faith that I have the cast. How long were you on that plane? Oh, a long time, dude. It was torturous.

That sucks. We're pretty patient, dude. Hold on. Actually, after like an eight-hour flight. Where are you going? Yeah. It was a hell travel day. He's going to get a cast.

What is he getting, dude? It makes me think that he's going to get a cast. Just real fast? That's just a regular... I was confused when you said... What did you say? A fiberglass cast? Yeah, this is fiberglass.

The other type is plaster. I think that's like the old-timey one that like... Real goopy? Yeah, real goopy. This is the hard one. The really hard one. That doesn't do anything wrong. Mic it up, mic it up.

All right. Okay, that's hard. Yeah. It's dense do anything wrong. Mic it up. Mic it up. All right. Okay, that's hard. Yeah. It's dense, but thinner. Yeah. Or, yeah, it's pretty mobile. You are going to break your wrist. That would be crazy.

If I was a scap, if I was... Yeah, if I broke... They would make you take off the cast, or you think they'd just be like, keep that shit on? No, because it would be, if I broke through the cast, how am I going to break the wrist without breaking through the cast? They'd have to recast the cast. What's he... What is this? Is this an old dish?

Oh, no. Oh, it's cake. Yeah. 100K. Double Ritz cake. We saved you a piece. I do love cake. Can we save him something else?

Oh, he has to drink. Ice cream cakes. He might want to... Oh. He has to drink the whole bottle of champagne? Oh, it was in the freezer. It's the spades as well. Yeah.

Oh, what? Daddy? You can drink it when you get your cast off. Wait, so, but this is frozen. I thought that this would have... Oh, yeah. Just leave it out. I'll be here daddy? You can drink it when you get your cast off. Wait, but this is frozen. I thought that this would have... Oh, yeah, just leave it out. It'll be here a minute. Just let it...

Yo, because you need the double Ritz that Kate spit up. Oh, Kate has a double Ritz for me? It's on the cake. It's on the cake. Oh, yum. See any Ritz there? That's from... Probably not as bad now.

Now it probably just tastes like a Ritz. When she brought it in, it was like disgusting. Yeah. Sopping. Wait, she actually like a Ritz. When she brought it in, it was like disgusting. Yeah. Sopping. Wait, she actually had double Ritz? She spit up all the Ritz. She spelt out 100K in double Ritz. That was real double Ritz?

Yeah. Real double Ritz. Oh, was it? Yeah. Oh, was it? Yes, it was. I mean, we ate it. It took her like an hour to do it.

It was a whole sleeve of Ritz crackers. Oh, and we were wasted. We finished two bottles of Mezcal. What made you guys get Mezcal? Dude, you guys know I like Mezcal. I smoke weed. I'm the self-proclaimed, Brandon's a low-key weed head. Yeah, cool Brandon showed up.

Anytime there's an opportunity for weed, Brandon's just fucking puttering it. I just had it. Cool Brandon showed up. It was awesome. That is awesome. Wait, but why the mezcal? I just figured we needed, because you did tequila once, so I was like, fuck it, let's just do mezcal.

And then we drank a whole bottle, and then Spider got a whole other bottle. We did two bottles. It was a Wednesday that we were all fucked up. Are you guys turned out to Mezcal now? Yeah, I kind of liked it. I kind of miss it. It makes you feel really hot. Yeah, it's great.

But I like the little smokiness to it. I like the back of the neck. Yeah. It's up a little bit. Yeah. You take a shot, and your whole body gets warm. Where's it from? Waxaca? W yep is it yeah sass you learn waka thank you where's that is that south of philly yeah south philly it's like down by contrahawking it's good to have you back ron

shit is good as fuck dude i missed i miss you guys i heard you guys got to 100k that's pretty cool how'd you do it? Cool. What was the secret? We whipped our dicks out. Yep. The mezcal helped. Yeah, the mezcal did help.

We just whooped everyone up into a frenzy? Yeah, well, we were doing a shot of mezcal every hundred, and then there was a moment where everyone was fucking with us, obviously. It is always funny when our fans fuck with us, and we're like, what the fuck? It's like, it's really we're just putting a mirror in front of our face. Yeah. We fuck with everyone. fans fuck with us and we're like what the fuck it's like it's really we're just putting a mirror in front of our face yeah we fuck with everyone they fuck with us like yeah we should expect that but they were going up and down so every we'd go like 99 800 and then they would go down to 99 like 650 then we'd go back up so we'd have to do another shot every time we hit

again and so it wasn't just a marked threshold? No, it was just yo-yos back and forth. We should have marked it, but no, we didn't. I think eventually we did. We don't think about the loopholes until they're completely taken advantage of. These fucking geniuses watching our show. These absolute bastards. These litigious fucking geniuses.

How should we do this straw draft? How many items did you guys bring? I brought a lot. I brought a couple extra just in case. I think we should all start with some hot dogs. I brought one of them. Yeah, yeah. I figured, yeah.

So play the video. This is, apparently this was staged. I don't care. There's nothing that I hate more than like the, it's staged people online, like I can't enjoy it. Good stage job. Yeah yeah good good job and guess what this isn't staged he poked a hole in his hot dog so what's he using there a straw right yeah and he's he sucked it out and ate it too

sick colorway That's awesome I'm just curious I feel like this is one of those moments That like I'll try I'll pass that The world laughs at someone But maybe he's a genius

Should we have Jerry come Thank you brother Yeah we need Jerry to come Jerry come fix these up for us Or maybe a side Is there a side Is there an extra dog That I could kind of

Wait are we using We're just eating a hot dog that I could kind of wait? Are we using it? We're just eating a hot dog now. I would love a hot dog. I'm going to try to draw it. We're going to make a straw and we're going to have some smell. Really? I know they look good as fuck. You know, when they got the tinfoil on them.

I also brought a burrito that's going to get messy. Yeah, I got a banana that might get messy. Let's just do levels through that. We'll just go up in levels one at a time, I got a banana. That might get messy. Let's just do levels. How are you going to get all the way through that? We'll just go up in levels one at a time, trying different straws. You got to eat the top off the hot dog first. Oh, you're in there.

It's a good dog. It's a really good dog. There's a little too much of the curve of the dog. How are you going to ride the curve? It hangs left. This is a problem. That's a good hot dog. Yeah. How are you going to ride the curve? It hangs left. This is a problem. That's a good hot dog. It's really good.

Guys, you're eating them. We've got a straw. He's eating out the end. You said eat the end. Oh, look at that. Look at that. Suck out the end of the straw. Make sure you don't.

The straw has a nice. Oh, no. I was so close. Oh, you split it? Yeah. Look at this. Ready? TJ.

What does that remind you of? What does that remind you of? What does that remind you of? It reminds me of that video of the guy at the Yankees game. That video of that dude having sex with a fish. Remember that one? Coffee? Maybe get a cup of coffee? Coffee would be funny and gross.

Hot dog coffee? Bring back the glizzards. You're doing DC? Oh, yeah. Who's going to do this thing? This thing will really... Anyone got a bonus straw? Bring back the glizzards You're doing DC Oh yeah So who's gonna do This thing look really Anyone got a bonus straw Fuck

Yeah there's There's straws right there Oh cool cool cool Where's the straws Ron get your boy a straw I'm struggling a bit Alright alright I'm losing all my liquid

Why Diet Coke The fizz Alright Tastes good as shit Oh this is Alright, alright I'm losing all my liquid Why Diet Coke? It is It tastes good as shit Oh, this isn't gonna work And also it's The most phallic thing we've done I actually don't think this is that gross Compared to other things that we've done

You guys really suck Also, none of this episode's gay No Hey Let's just not do it in a gay way You gotta really suck. Also, none of this episode's gay. No. Hey, let's just not do it in a gay way. It does help if you do it in a gay way. Put the straw towards the back of your throat. Let it hook on your uvula.

I need to redo. We might need another batch of hot dogs. We might need to get a papaya and just some side dogs. Brandon's looks like it has some good structural integrity. Yeah, I've done it well. Have you? You guys want? Would beef sticks have more stability? Can you get it, though, through them?

How are you going to get through that? I got the wide boys. I'm going to try. Mmm. This is really good. I think what I got to... Oh, no, I did it again. Fuck.

It's almost impossible not to do it. You've got to find where it's going up to the side and then redirect. It's kind of like the opposite of when your drawstring gets caught in your pants and you have to kind of fish it through. Oh, my God, it is the opposite. Oh, look at this. This is kind of gross. Right along the side.

But then that just gives you a bonus dog to eat. I think I've seen, like, a NowThis DIY hack where you could actually fix that with straws. Okay. I don't think my holes match up. Initial take not good. It's really terrible. How did he get...

You just got a straw through your... I was trying it with the straw through it, and then I'm going to... I'm just sucking on a dog. It makes the water worse, but the hot dog better. This is probably terrible radio. Now that I'm realizing that. I'm just going to eat it. I'm realizing that.

Have some fucking respect. All right, I'm going for it. It was a really good idea in my brain. Eat it or not? I don't know. Not eat it. I'm realizing that. Have some fucking respect. All right, I'm going for it. It was a really good idea in my brain. Eat it or not? I don't know. Do not eat it. Sash, you got it? Do not eat it.

That's so gross. Because the Diet Coke comes through hot. Does that happen to you guys too? Yeah, it nukes it a bit. I can't get enough suction on mine. I know, you got to really suck. Oh, because the hole closes. Oh, there we go.

You've got a cocktail weenie at this point. Now we go. Look. Look. We have to apologize to the women. Yeah, you're like a fucking explorer. What happened to your... You got it?

Anyone want some of my straw? Let me get a... My hot dog straw? Is it working good? Yeah, you just got to tip it a little. Yeah, you got it. Does it work? It works. Is it working good? Yeah, you just got to tip it a little. Yeah, you got it. Does it work? It works.

Mine's working. Cut it in half. Cut it in half, and then you can do it. Sass, let me look up. I want to take a picture of you drinking it. Look up. Look up. Pull the dog up towards your lips, though.

Yeah. Mmm, delicious. Now tongue around the base of it. lips, though. Yeah. Mmm, delicious. Tongue around the base of it. Yeah, now cup it. Kate was just in the other room, just like she's doing like a science project. She's doing something to hers. Ew, this is so, look at this. Dude, the beef stick might be the best.

Ew. All right, so maybe this guy isn't a genius. Maybe I was wrong. Well, beer probably tastes better than Diet Coke. Take your straw back. Might be. Might be,. Well, beer probably tastes better than Diet Coke. Take your straw back. Might be. Might be. Thank you.

Try with a little more Diet Coke. Because I want to really try to work mine. Yeah, this was maybe a stupid idea, but no bad ideas. No bad ideas. It's actually marinating the hot dog in a way that is making the hot dog way more delicious. Yeah, those are good hot dogs. Now, are you ready for the most ambitious thing I've ever done? What are you about to do?

I'm about to get crazy with it. What the fuck is in that bag right there, that paper bag? I'm about to get crazy with it. That's some crazy shit in that paper bag. What was that? Was that you? I'm about to get crazy with it. I got water through it, but it came out like sludge.

Got it all the way through there? Yeah, but it came out like sludge. Oh. Yeah, I think I was just picking up a lot of hot dog juice. I don't think I was actually getting it. I have a burrito. Ew. I think this is going to work.

You ready for this, Brandon? Draw through the burrito. Fill that nice and full like. Thanks, Brandon. I appreciate that No I'm just helping you out We're just doing this for the people at home so you don't have to do it Right Okay This is a science class

Sass what do you think what are you feeling I got a Are we pulling out all of our All of our tricks I'm going to go burrito Let me see if this burrito is going to work Are we pulling out all of our tricks? I mean, you might. I'm going to go burrito. Let me see if this burrito is going to work. Our fat asses can't help but eat this shit.

You got a banana, too? I know. I'm just eating the bun. That's a hell of a burrito. Ew, dude. Ew. Oh, yeah Okay But how's the hole not gonna close in the burrito?

The hole's definitely gonna close So dip the burrito in This is like when people We're just myth-busting the theory that you could fuck anything Yeah, pretty much That'll work I think you just keep the straw in for the burrito. And you kind of soak the back of the burrito.

You can take bites off the bottom of the burrito. Damn, I need to get a fucking burrito. Take a bite while you're taking a drink. Oh, a simul. What? A simul? Like a bite of the cone when you're having an ice cream. That was genius.

Yo. Wait till the Yankees start fucking Sounds like nauseous back here You want a bite? That's actually smart We still have fingers in your mouth? And you take a sip It actually is pretty good

I have another burrito if anyone wants to try I definitely want to try What are you talking about? Alright so take it This is actually a genius another burrito if anyone wants to try. I definitely want to try. What are you talking about? Where's it at? This is actually a genius. That's insane. I want to try the burrito.

Movie theaters should do this. Isn't that pretty much just like when you put the donut over the coffee, though? We're at the Knicks game when they have the chicken basket on top of the... This would make it easier to carry things to your seat. That's a good burrito. A Diet Coke burrito. Look at it just sitting there. Get on top of the... Yeah. This would make it easy to carry things to your seat at the theater. That's a good burrito. A Diet Coke burrito.

Look at it just sitting there. Oh, fuck. Looks like a spit cup now. I would like to have the burrito. I don't think so. Burrito straw. I'm going to get one of those dogs. The burrito's used for something else.

Okay, so what else should we do now that we've done that? I'm blowing our load early here. I got an ice cream cone. Ooh. Ooh. Ice cream cone. This is just a fuck. This is one of those shows that we're just doing like shit you did when you were sitting around the lunch table when you were in like sixth grade.

Yeah, this is sleepover shit. You won't eat that. Let's make it 8th grade. Black and mild. Oh yeah. You could hollow them out or you could suck it right through the tar. I'm still drinking my burrito. That's up to you. I'm going to try both. And then watch this. You take a bite.

Zah, it's good. Zah, come have a bite. Zah, you want to try mine? Zah, come have a bite. Zah, you want to try mine? Zah, come have a bite. Actually, a bottle of mezcal would help this. I'll actually throw up. I'll actually throw up. Oh, here comes Kate. Oh, shit.

She's going to take it nuclear. Is that a baguette? A full baguette. Is that a goddamn baguette? He's got a full baguette. These are great. What you got? What do you got there? Hi, Brandon. I got a straw justuette. These are great. What you got? What do you got there?

Hi, Brandon. I got a straw just for you. For me? I'm just helping out. Drop off. Thank you. Appreciate it. Don't talk.

Don't talk. Look, I got... This is a salmon straw. Ew! Salmon straw! Kate! It was a little log of salmon. Oh, Kate.

It's cooked at least. You are fucked. Yep. Water is fucked. Yep. What have you got? Yep. You got this, Brando. Butter? Is that a butter straw?

No! No! It's a butter straw. Drink the butter straw, country boy. It's like they have this at the Iowa State Fair. What is this? Ooh. Do you like?

Oh, yes, please. Thank you. If you'd like a sip of my burrito straw. Or you could have a bite of Roan's. I brought blue heat Takis. Nice. I don't know what would happen if you even put that in a Diet Coke. It might just explode. Butterstraw?

That's how C4 is made. Up to your mouth. Up to your mouth. Butterstraw. Brandon, take a bite. You have to evacuate the building. Take a bite, Brandon. Oh, no. I put a real hole all the way through it up to your mouth. Butter straw. Brandon, take a bite. You have to evacuate the building. Take a bite, Brandon. Oh no, I put a real hole all the way through it.

Oh man. Are you drinking? Are you drinking? Holy shit! Margle! He's drinking! Margle into the mic! Buttery water. I'm really proud of that one. That was genius level

shit, Kate. Are you sure you don't want to try this burrito straw? You can bite it while you... It's great. You take a sip and then you take a bite. This shit is delicious. Does anyone have an extra wide cup? So much butter's coming out.

For my... Oh, you're... Look at this. Get on. Get, wait. Get Kate. Get Kate. There's a real hole in it.

You could drink all the way through. Eggplant straw. Kate went in fucking sicko mode on this challenge. Nothing. I need a drink. I need to get one. You got to get some Diet Coke. There's cups and Diet Coke and water.

You need one of those big mugs. Now, Kate, this is just what they do at like a Bloody Mary bar. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah, they always do this like they do at like a Bloody Mary bar. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah, they always do this like a sausage stick at a Bloody Mary bar. That's why I thought it wasn't that crazy. Burrito straw is great. I can't believe there's no Bloody Mary place that's thought of putting a full burrito on the straw. Because this would set off a Bloody Mary.

It's ruining this Diet Coke. Oh, I'm just killing myself. Oh, it's gross. The tobacco leaves. All right, we promised everyone at home we're only going to do this for a few more minutes, but we have to try everything we have. What are we going to do after this? I don't know.

We'll just talk about how stupid we are. Why some candy straws? You got candy straws? Mild. Check this out. Chicken finger straw. Medium. I don't know how I'm going to do this.

Hot. Will it straw? Will it straw? Yeah, we should start a TikTok. Will it straw? Will it straw? I brought skewers to get your hole going. Oh, nice.

Oh, skewers. That's what we're talking about. Anybody needs a hole skewer? Oh. Thank you, Katie. Will it straw?. That's what we're talking about. Anybody needs a whole skewer? Oh. Can I read the rules? Thank you, Kate. Will it straw? I'm going to have more straws.

Hey, how much did this cost you? Crazy. Whole foods. Okay. How's that straw? That's a good straw, right? This is so good. This burrito one is so good.

And there's not even an ounce of it of irony or being gross on purpose. This shit actually tastes good as fuck. How's that eggplant though, Kate? It's good. It's good. It's good. Are there hot dogs left or no? Yeah, there's one right over here.

I want Jerry to eat a Jerry dog. I want to see a Jerry dog. Yeah, yeah. Just have him Jerry dog it live in front of us. Fuck. All right, let me try this. This will work. That's just two sticks of butter.

Mm-hmm. Now, I have one last thing I brought. What are those? Is that pastries? Yeah, we'll see what happens here. You got cannolis? No. Cannoli straw?

I got eclairs. Ooh. Eclair straw. Look at this. Who wants to try a straw on a Claire? Okay. I need a skewer, Kate. Here.

Yeah, so we're, you know, we did the research for the people. I thought this would be, like, the whole show, but it clearly is not. Clearly we're going to be done in about two minutes here. We could have, like, drafted it or got kind of crazy with it, but it was really just a nice free-for-all. Yeah, just trying. Will it straw, dude? It's just a good question.

Brandon, you might have to suck the cream out to make the hole. Oh, yes. Suck that cream out, Brandon. Suck the cream out, Brandon. Oh, my God. Have you done that before? These are just good eclairs. They look good.

I think if you grab with both hands, it'll work better. Maybe $100. This would just be straight. You'd have to hit this like a bong. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it.

I stopped up the hole. Jerry. Can you Jerry dog? You want to sit down and Jerry dog real quick, see how fast you can eat it? Oh, you can? They are good-ass dogs. We'll see. Let's see how fast you can eat it.

Get it on Jerry. Time goes fast, but Jerry dogs go faster, brother. Show everyone the technique of Jerry dogging. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, baby. That was hot. All right, ready?

Hold on. Let's do it at 127 exactly. All right. Let's start. at 127 exactly. And start. How fast do you think you can eat it? I'd say 16 seconds. Okay. Over under 16 seconds. I'll take over.

Take under on that one. Take under. Under. I doubt you. I'm doubting you. All right, so we have the seconds up. So just whenever you want to start, TJ will start it. Oh, he's going.

Oh, I'm crushing the over. It's a big fun. I'm crushing the over. No, he's only at seven seconds right now. Listen, put on the blinders, Jerry. Put on the blinders. Oh, but he's got to show clean mouth. Oh, clean mouth.

Yeah. That's tough. You suck at this, Jerry. Oh, my God. Damn, I thought you would have that easy. Don't be down on yourself, Jerry. Jerry, can I ask you a follow-up question? I wish it was wet.

Can I ask you a follow-up question, Jerry? How fast do you think you can eat an eclair? I never had one. Jerry declared. Are you going to smush it up first? It's all wet. Yeah, you've got to wet up the dog. We might be out of dogs, though.

I got a Toblerone. Let's see how fast you can eat an got to wet up the dog. We might be out of dogs, though. I got a Toblerone. Let's see how fast you can eat an eclair, Jerry. I don't know if we can move, Dan. Why? You had a salad yesterday. It's just a Boston cream donut. It's very good. Penis shaped.

All right, Jerry. Kind of like a French hot dog. Good as fuck Ready I like it No he'll start it TJ will start it Ready

Set Go Is it good Is it good He's trying to argue about it And then he's like Ah fuck it I'm eating it

Cause that gun goes off Yeah he's liking it Jerry Alright he's gonna finish this And then I have One last challenge for Jerry Because that gun goes off. I was liking it. Jerry. He's going to finish this. And then I have one last challenge for Jerry. I'm pretty full. Yeah, I know. But I think we got to see what you could do here with this.

Oh, he's almost done. Damn, that hit you fast. Your face just noticeably changed. Oh, that was good. Gary, I will give you... I will give you... Now money's involved. I like it. $200 if you can eat that entire baguette in under five minutes.

It's already wet. Dude, that is... What? What what's the time what's a fair time what's a fair time seven minutes i think i would say like 10 10 that's a lot of bread damn it's so hard to get rid of the soda part yeah yeah the soda you don't have to have can we cut off both ends or no no no not the the first end. No, no, not the top end. The liquid's going to help. It's secretly hollowed out already. Oh. I had to get the straws in there.

This took a lot. Do you think you can do it? Brandon, talk to him. I mean, I wish it was more than 200. All right, I'll throw 100 in. I'll throw another 100 in. 300. I'll throw in 25.

Now, wait a minute. This is a big piece of bread. This isn't all that. Yeah, nobody's got to do it under seven minutes. But she hollowed it out. You can do this. You can do this. Come on.

There's a little tape on it. What do you think? Do you take that part off? Take that part off. Oh, that's a lot of it. It's from Whole Foods. You can't take it all off. Seven minutes. Oh, you can take that off. Oh, that's a lot of it. It's from Whole Foods. You can't take it all off. Seven minutes.

Oh, you can take that off. Really good. Yeah? Can you do it? Seven minutes? Seven minutes, $3.25. $3.25. Dude, this is, I think it should be a little bit,

this is a little bit more money, Brandon. You want to go seven and a half minutes? I'm not paying him to be on. Can I take this part off? Let me see how much you're putting off. This. Okay, if you pull that off, then it's 630. Dude, that doesn't work like that.

I think that's exactly how it works. He's ripping off the wet end of the bread. Oh, there's a big straw in there, too. Oh, and a big straw. I don't know, Dan. That's a lot of bread, man. I think you can do that. You can do it, Jerry.

All right, so seven minutes? Seven minutes. 6.45. That's going to be impossible. All right. That's 15 seconds different. And you have to eat the out, right? Two?

Everything. You got to eat it all. I don't think there's any chance. I think you can do it. Seven minutes? Seven minutes for 200 bucks. Three. All right. Three. But you got to eat it. Seven minutes? Seven minutes for $200. Three. Alright. Three. You gotta eat it.

You have to be done. You have to be totally done. I'm gonna try my best. Okay, you got this. You have this. Alright, so when I start putting it in my mouth, that's when it starts? Yeah. Alright. What are you doing? He's ripping it. I'm gonna eat the bread, Darren. No, but you're eating that part. Just call him Darren. I know I'm eating it. Okay, just

make sure, because it looked like you were just ripping it apart. No. Did you just call him Darren? Derek. I mean, by mistake. All right, well, ready? All right, here we go. There you go.

He's off. Can we put him in the bottom? This ice cream cone straw. This is no chance. Come on, Jerry. Oh, that's because they always have a hole in the bottom. You been on a no-carb thing? I'll take a glass of Diet Coke.

You got it. Go down there. Get him a real one. I'm working around the cast pretty well. You want some of Brandon's butter's butter no i'm actually gonna dip it and now that it makes sense i kind of like that you called him darren i'm gonna dip it darren walker yeah it has to be wet it wasn't like where did darren come from i don't know i think you're trying to say dan and brandon oh yeah it makes sense oh yeah

that's the visual i wanted for the people. Get you some olive oil. This has no life. No. Don't give up. You're only one minute in. No, there's literally no way. You're a seventh of the way there. There's no way.

I think maybe 12 he could do it. Maybe. No. Sass, we need you to pump him up. Let me pick it. I was on his. I thought he was going to beat 16 seconds on the dog.

That was a big bite. He's catching. He's getting going. And we don't want to pay him. True. It's a good ASMR. Like, I like the sound of you chewing into it. Like, I do. It's very pleasing. The rip of the baguette is the best

That was a smart move by me to warm him up with a hot dog Full eclair Like alright now take this baguette down I love a good eclair You like the eclair Jerry? It was good It's probably better when you don't have to You never have one.

In 10 seconds. Yeah. What, chicken finger, Jerry? Nope. I mean, this is just unnecessary carbs. Come on, Jerry. Take it down. I'm getting a little nauseous.

There was a guy on the subway once, in my subway car, who had a whole baguette and then just a cup of melted butter. And he was just sitting there dunking it in the melted butter and eating straight up a whole baguette. That's a boss. Throw up. Jerry, it's bread. I know, but Coke doesn't help. Why are you doing it? Why are you choosing to do it?

The taste is one thing. You said Coke doesn't help. Oh, no. Oh, don't throw up. Someone bring him the trash can. It's bread. I got to set some stomach. It's got to be real.

Why are you doing it? Oh, no. You said the Coke doesn't help. So far, all he's eaten is a hot dog and a declare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got this, Jerry. Come on, Jerry. He should be spraying vomit after that.

Come on, Jerry. You got this. Dip and chew. Dip and chew. You want another Diet Coke? It's like a lunch. Standard elementary. Yeah.

He said the Coke doesn't help, but he keeps drinking it. How about a water? Let's get some water. I don't know, bro. I don't think so. No, you got this. Push, but he keeps drinking it. How about a water? Let's get some water. I don't know, bro. I don't think so. No, you got this push, Jerry. Listen, man. I don't think anybody on the planet can do this.

You can take that out. You can discard that. It's not going to matter. Don't dip the Diet Coke. All right, you're at the halfway point. Dip the water half. See what happens when you do that? You're doing great.

It's just a very funny visual. Let's give him an extension at a discount. All right, I'll give you a minute extension. Oh, no. Oh, gross. Yeah, you're allowed to do that. You can do that. We're giving you a minute extension.

You're out. You're out. He's out. He's out. The water was a mistake I'm out The water looked way more gross I had some of the bread at least

How could the water make it worse? Did you taste it with water? Really? This bread's good Jerry Sorry No it's not I don't apologize Oh yeah it's a little

That's some delicious bread Sorry That's okay Nice try, Jer. Is this ciabatta? You want a banana? Yeah, I'm out. I'm done.

Best way to take down Jerry is with a normal-sized meal. Right. Better food. Is it available, Brandon? These are yours. Thanks. Do it. That's what you get.

You don't get the $100. You get that. Nice. I just want one. Thank you. Take the whole pack. Nice try, Jer. It's what you get. You don't get the $100. You get that. Nice. I just want one. Thank you. Take the whole pack. Nice try, Jer. Yeah, those are all yours.

How was your salad last night? Great. Yeah? A lot of steak? Did you do the steak black and blue? No. My steak wasn't that good, actually. Eh, it's too bad.

It had good cheese in it. Jerry had this Toblerone bar. You want this Toblerone? Mm-mm. Constellation? Jerry had his first salad in two years. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Man's too bad. Jerry had this Toblerone bar. You want this Toblerone? Consolation? Jerry had his first salad in two years. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Man's a beast. That's awesome. Nothing makes me laugh harder than when Jerry tries to eat stuff. Yeah, his gag is just so fucking funny. Yeah, you can tell it's real. You can really tell he's trying to. When he went in on those hot dogs, it might have been some of the purest joy I've ever felt. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, so we did the straw part of the show. We got the straws, the baguettes. We do have a wheel to do. We could just, maybe the wheel gives. Oh, what's that? Oh, it's a tampon. Oh, Brandon, do it.

I did butter. Why do I have to do a tampon? Was butter good? No, it tastes like it. I did butter. Why do I have to do tampons? Was butter good? No, it tastes like butter. You love butter. I love butter, but not wet butter. Brandon, what have you been doing with your free month, your rumspringer in New York?

My family's at the shore right now in Point Pleasant Beach. Oh, so you weren't in New York last weekend. You were at the shore. Yes, correct. Oh, nice. That's Point Pleasant. Not as pleasant as you think. It's not a weekend. You were at the Shore. Yes, correct. Oh, nice. That's quite pleasant. Not as pleasant as you think. It's not a great...

I don't love it. Really? It's my third Jersey Shore town. It's my third favorite. I'm in Sea Isle and Cape May. Sea Isle's number one? Cape May's number one. Those are the three you've been to?

Yeah. You asked about Wildwood. I did, because it was the cheapest one. Wildwood is nice. Well, apparently it's full of meth. Go hang out with my Aunt Peg. Fight a teenager. You'd fight Aunt Peg, probably.

Is she at North Wildwood? She's in Aglesea. She's in the crest. Very nice. Kate, you just went all out. I fucking love it. I did. I tried my best.

No, I appreciate that. An attempt was made. It was one of those things. It was maybe if we'd been live last night, when it happened, it would have been better. It's sourdough bread, huh? Yeah. Oh, it's thick. Sourdough.

I didn't realize it's actually a sourdough. Yeah. I was nibbling it, trying to figure out what it was. Sass, try this. Try that. Give it a piece. Wait, Kate. Talk me through the salmon. I the salmon was i ran down to whole foods and just walked around looking at things that could be straws and the salmon was wrapped up in plastic

in a log shape and i don't i don't eat fish so i didn't know i was like oh you can just jam and i was gonna give it to brandon a salmon log straw right uh but it salmon falls apart it turns out i mean you so then i tried to tape touchy fish i tried sensitive i tried to tape the like scales part just around a straw and then my fingers were and i was back in the intern's gambling cave and i was like sorry sorry excuse me sorry sorry like just trying to tape salmon around a straw i feel like a psycho um so It didn't pan out. You tried. This room doesn't smell good.

No, it's a lot of spices on it. Then the eggplant I thought would be easier too, but it took a little bit of work. Yeah, so that guy, maybe it was staged now. Maybe he wasn't even sucking it through a straw. You never saw any of it go down. Yeah, fuck. It looked like the beer level went down a little bit.

Did it? It looked like it did. I think. My tummy feels bad. Yeah. Well, you're eating double Ritz right now. I'm eating the ice cream. Oh, yeah.

Everybody else ate it, right? Two-week-old double Ritz. I mean, delicious. I got the first pick of the slice of cake. Oh, yeah. I didn't eat it either. By the way, I think out of all these things, so people at home, the burrito straw was by far the best. That was actually

legitimately the best. And that would just work? Yeah, because you just take a bite, then take a sip, then take a bite maybe with a nice like tecate or something. Oh yeah. Now you're talking. Let me fill that cup full of cheese. If you did a Bloody Mary

and you put a burrito in that was like a breakfast burrito kind of that melted into it right with like crispy bacon and like whatever, it might be okay. That is like, if you go to a Bloody Mary bar, maybe not most of them, but half of them will have like the straws, the salami sticks you can use. Yeah. You can use Twizzlers. Yep. I love a good Bloody Mary.

Do you? My favorite drink. Really? Ever? Holic. Yeah, but you can't just be like slamming Bloody Marys. Sash was doing that at the LA airport. I was.

He tried to get Bloody Marys like at night normalized. Didn't really take off. No, didn't take off. That would be like the worst hangover. Because so much sodium. I hate them so much. You would be like the worst hangover. Because so much sodium. I hate them so much. You don't like that? I hate Bloody Mary.

Oh, I love them. Oh, I love them. I think there's such a disparity between a good one and a bad one. A bad one is so disgusting and a good one is like holy. The airport ones were really bad. I think his screwdrivers are like the most delicious brunch drink. I don't think so. Vodka and orange juice?

Too much acid. Oh, so goododka and orange juice? Too much acid. Oh, so good. Too much acid. Too much acid. Can't have it. That's what we think. Too much fucking acid. Do we have video of Roan getting his cast?

Yep. I just had to wash my fingers because it was starting to get Diet Coke and fucking hot dog down my cast. That's why you ran off. Yeah, because it was starting to drip down my cast, which is a bad omen. Are you going to get a scratcher or something?

They said do not put anything in this. Really? Oh, yeah, that's right. Then you scratch it and it doesn't heal. Are we allowed to sign it? Yes, we have to get a silver Sharpie, which I can get later on. No swastikas.

That's what I'm really worried about. Swastikas? I'm super worried about swastikas. Or someone writing something naughty. Remember when you were wearing the anti-Nazi hat and people tried to get you? Yeah. Like, look at this. It was a pin.

It was like the thinnest red line through the swastika. Well, you know, it's varying degrees. I'm an anti-Nazi. He's not anti-Nazi. He still has a swastika. He's wearing a swastika hat. More you know, it's varying degrees. He's not anti-Nazi. He still has a swastika. He's wearing a swastika hat. More than what you were doing, dude. You had no anti-Nazi shit on.

You were 0% anti-Nazi. This guy's awesome, by the way. He was so nice. Yeah, he said he's been a stoolie since the Milton days. He walked in. He was sitting right here, Roan, and then I was like, here, why don't you go sit over here? Like, I'll set you up. And he just goes, he turns the corner and just goes, whoa.

He was very sweet. I always thought I'd be putting a cast on here one day. Just follow your fucking dreams. What if he turns into an influencer around it? One year since I put the cast on. So, yeah, he's going to come back and cut it off. Maybe we just let Nick figure out a way to get it off. I think Nick has to do it.

Yeah, I think Nick has to get it off. It has to be this guy. You did toe surgery on Nick, and that wasn't. Yeah, what about a hammer and a nail? He asked for that. Nick is not equipped for this. Nick doesn't have the bedside manner. This guy's bedside manner.

Yeah, but you're not equipped to do toe surgery. Yes, I was. He was. Did you see how steady my hand was? You were good. You were good. I just don't know the bedside manner. This guy's bedside manner. Yeah, but you're not equipped to do toe surgery. Yes, I was. He was. Did you see how steady my hand was? You were good. You were good. I just don't know that you were equipped. Wouldn't it be cool if you just smashed it off? That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

You just spilled Diet Coke everywhere. I'm so sorry. Did you get the gas wet? Oh, no. Oh, no. Dumbass. We're one hour into the cast. It's already a disaster.

Fuck. Oh, my God. That's a random slam. Do you have that replay? No, don't be sorry. Holy shit. Dickie wee. There's no rhyme or reason to that.

Oh, look at that. Look at what he did. He played again. I feel like Rone hasn't been around for so long, he's got to be like re-housebroken. That was so stupid. Oh. Oh, well. I have a couple of papers.

Sticky boy. Sticky boy. Sticky, sticky boy. Big Cat, this is delayed. I had brought this back from a beach in New Jersey, actually, for you to maybe give to Che. I had a meeting with Che today. Some guy at his home course, the Sand Trap,

on the Jersey Shore claims to be unbeatable and has hosted challengers in the newspaper. Pennsylvania Powerhouse has returned to LBI for rematch. Ben Merkley has played in big professional putters association tournaments. Elmer Lawson That's who he's going up against You're not going to become a millionaire

Playing mini golf Wow that's the quote of the century Even if you win a lot This is great so he's got to go challenge him Yeah I told Che he said he's down We got to have Kirk go get him too We can do I don't know

Wheel to see who caddies slash video who won the uh very funny golf let's go ask jerry just ask jerry i i had a meeting today about something i'm working on and jay i have jay involved in it and uh he like there's two new people who uh i think came in maybe after him on the third floor. So we're like, I don't know, 20 minutes into the meeting, and he's like, can I just for a second introduce myself? And he went into this whole, like, I'm Stephen Che. I've been working at Barstow. I was like, Stephen, they know who you are.

And he did, like, this very formal, maybe wildly uncomfortable, but so classic Che. It's like, yeah yeah I started here doing this type of ad sales and now I've transitioned to content it's like we're 20 minutes into the meeting beautiful fucking Che fucking Che oh look at that

oh nice yeah oh no this happened when I was out of the room? God damn. Oh, no. This is weird. Sucked his eyes crossed.

Wow. That should be the tattoo that you have to get. Yeah. Brandon has to get a Ben Mintz tattoo if I can come up with $350,000 cash. Well, $349,800. What's a long shot that we could put our? $349,800. What's a long shot that we could put our... $349,800. Why?

I gave you money. You won. $350,000. Okay, fine. You were saving $200. You were saying he would do it for $349,800. Oh, okay. Make it $349,700. We're already at $349,800. Yeah, it started with a million and and I got him to $350.

Very fast. Very fast. We're a million to half a million in a second. What if I came up with $200,000? Let's just say that. No, it's $350. Let's just say I came up with $200,000. You wouldn't think about it?

Sounds like you're $150 short. Cash. Cash. Sounds like you're $150 short. What if I came up with $200,000 cash? Then I'd get it on the leg. Bring it in on,000 cash? Then I can get it on the leg. Bring it in on a briefcase. Then I can get it on the leg.

You can get it on your calf. No, I can get it wherever I want. $200 is barely half of what you agreed to. You shook my hand at $350. It's more than half. You're not very good at buying. Not very much more than half. $50K, brother.

$75 is half. People always renegotiate contracts it sounds like you don't you can't put the scratch lower jerry jerry you want to eat another hot dog no i'm just kidding we don't have any more i think i get jerry to eat a hot dog we should actually just we should do that as a yak just see if we can get jerry to casually eat like 15 hot dogs yeah jerry you want a hot dog? I'd love it. Go, a 12-hour show.

He did start vomiting early. He wasn't very far into that bread before he started gagging. Well, he had a salad last night. That's true. Probably what it was. So, yeah, Rowan, we have to plan our 12-hour show. Fuck. Should we do it tomorrow?

I don't think KB and Nick are— Planning tomorrow or the show tomorrow? The show. Oh, we've got to have KB and Nick. Yeah, tomorrow or the show tomorrow? The show. Oh, we gotta have KB and Nick. Yeah, we're gonna surprise everyone one day and just

start at 12 and end at 12. We were thinking start at like 4 a.m. That would be awesome. And end at 4 p.m.? That's really nice.

Yeah, because like we get everyone in the morning. People tune in when they're like get a little sleep beforehand. Just a little shut eye.

And I like you guys saying the idea of having old. Yes. Come through like anybody who's ever been on the act maybe coming through throughout the day. It's like the finale is Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. But good. Cameos.

We might end up in jail. That's right. Tyler O'Day will come in. He'll sing. Sing. He'll give us some politically charged opinions. It'll be nice. We had Gonzo call in

on the 100K. Shut up. What's that fucking legend doing? His phone sucked, but Kyle did get a good like, fuck you, Gonzo. They did hate each other. Hated each other.

Yeah, it was funny when KB was here without Nick. Yeah. Little wayward puppy yeah he was a wayward dog then he found his way he found his companion dog yeah they're just hopefully one of them doesn't die oh yeah then they would just lay by the gravestone no what i miss we need to get caleb in more to hate on che oh caleb's gonna be here this week caleb hasn't checked che in a while caleb actually is going to be here, I think, Thursday. Maybe, yeah.

On everything? I think he said he was coming by. No way. Miss you, rough and rowdy. That was, I watched it from Ireland at four in the morning or whatever. It was fucking awesome. Dude, the Abel brothers, they hit me and Dave up for 6K. Yeah, those clips were, but dude, I screamed laughing.

When he went over the second time? The first time too The first time I was giddy as can be And then by the second time I was about to fucking frisbee my iPad I was fucking fired up This is so funny It was great dude

Those dudes were fucking great I want them fighting in every rough and rowdy They're just big goofy They're goofy guys Their vocal pattern is a little bit like Big T's Yeah The pacing of their speech is a little bit like Big T's So Pittsburgh. The pacing of their speech is a little bit like Big T's. So Pittsburgh. Reminds me of them.

We're going to sign their podcast and not promote it. Do they fight each other or no? I think that's how it has to end. Right? It shouldn't end soon. Oh, we got to go like 4, 5, 6. It's like 2040. With fighting twins, though, I feel like one's always significantly better. It's not like it'd be a

second one that fought the other night was better than the first one. Yes. Remember when the Bubba twins fought and one of them went to the hospital? Yes, he was clearly better. Yeah. That was bad. Left it all in the fucking field. That shit was sweet.

That shit was incredible. Ruff and Rowdy's the best. Great job on the call. You know who hit me up about Ruff and Rowdy? Who I wouldn't hate. Maybe earmuffs for everyone listening right now. O'Malley? No, who I wouldn't hate having maybe earmuffs for everyone listening right now o'malley no who i wouldn't hate having not no everyone at home listening mute it for a second um having him maybe somehow getting him on the call for a rough and rowdy a guy gilly shane gillis

he was like the rough and rowdy is amazing i was like yeah you should you got to come yeah that would be fun he would be unbelievable on the call. It would be perfect. Yeah. Is he about it? I mean, I didn't say, like, you know, get on the call because we obviously have a big announcing cast, but I was like, come to the next one and see if you like it.

Bird did a couple, right? Yeah, Bird did two. But I think Shane, like, it is his. His wheelhouse. Knowing how funny he is and what he thinks is funny, like, it is his wheelhouse. What about, like, a redemption show for him that's, like, all-time good vibes? Oh, I want to do that for sure. I think we should absolutely do that.

Maybe we all take ecstasy. Ecstasy race. That would be really funny if we just did an ecstasy race with him, yeah. Just started kissing each other. You guys are the fucking best, dude. I fucking love you guys. Him and her just feeling up each other's tits. That would be sweet.

This is awesome. We should have him back on, though, for a redemption. For a redemption show because... He did him dirty. Yeah. Yeah. Sass hasn't talked to him since. Oh, damn.

That's not true. All right, Sass talks to him every fucking day. We got the seal of approval. I tell you what, like the day after that happened when I was at the stand and some kid came up to me and he was like, yo, dude, Shane's over there. He's like, you guys squash the beef. I was like, what? He did Andrew Yang's podcast the next day. Yeah.

Yeah, W's. That's W's. Everyone shut up. They're split. For what? They're split. For what? They're idiots. Shane would be electric on the rough and rowdy.

Shane versus Che rough and rowdy? Now that would be electric. Mm-hmm. Che would delude himself to think he could win. I'm going to need everyone to move on from that show

so we can move on to the next one. The Be A Man guy came and he said he was incredible. Said what was? The case Race 2. So anyone who disagrees, you're not a man. I was entertained thoroughly.

Yeah. Thoroughly. I have legitimate memories that resurface from that. Every now and then they just pop up. And then I'm just stuck thinking about it for 15 minutes. Well, when Owen's birthday comes, we'll do a Good Vibes one. Yeah. I just don't think I can ever be that drunk on air again.

Oh, yeah, you can. And you will. I know you'll be less drunk next time because your tolerance will be a little bit higher. Oh, I'm quitting. I'm slowing down on the drink. Yeah. 21? I am drinking way too much.

There's nothing I hate more than what you're saying. I'm drinking probably like 60 beers a week. Yeah, you're 21. Yeah, but I don't feel good. I hate you so much. I went on a run this morning. I'm changing things up in my life. I hate you so much.

When people who are in their early 20s are like, Who's grabbing me, brother? Oh, no. The thing is, I'm not. You have a problem. I'm not over it. That's the thing is, I love drinking. Yeah, it's not you specifically, but when people are like 23 and they're like, I'm kind

of over the bar scene. It's like, what? No, my favorite thing to do is get drunk. Fucking embrace it. Yeah. Bar scene retires you. You don't retire from the bar scene. Yeah, I'm just not drinking on weekdays anymore. That's the. Yeah. Bar scene retires you. You don't retire from the bar scene. Yeah, I'm just not drinking on weekdays anymore.

That's the... Okay. Sass thinks he's Barry Sanders, dude. He thinks he's about to walk away from the game in his prime. There's like a genre of sobriety that's just like to fit in your Lululemon pants on TikTok and then you talk about those benefits. Yeah. That's more of what Sass...

Yeah, that's what I'm going for. Lululemon is sober. Lose some weight. What shoes did you run in, though? Oh, I got my new balances. Please. You got running shoes? Of course.

When like a 23 year old's like, I just kind of like sitting at home with my dog and drinking an IPA. It's like, because you're a loser. You're talking about Billy? Like, hey buddy, sorry to break it to you. You're a loser. You should enjoy this because at some point that's all you'll have. Sitting at home with your dog.

Taking something away from yourself when it'll eventually be taken away from you is a little bit of a silly move. I would give anything to be able to just fucking rage for like four nights in a row. Fuck yeah. Body can't handle it. Fuck yeah. And you know you have responsibilities in the world. I'm going on a bachelor party this weekend.'m very nervous there to Miami oh god so my

last like close friends so it's it and so I think and there's that air of like it's that you guys like we always have themes you guys have like a theme no theme 90s cocaine yeah okay i actually like one time i was it was kind of mean of me but i guess i can you know whatever uh there was a i was on a bachelor party and it was you know like bachelor parties in your 30s there'll be be that split of college friends and adult friends. And we were planning it, and one of the college friends of this guy was like, so should we get shirts made?

And I just replied all the emails like, if you guys get shirts made, I'm not coming. Yeah. I don't think that's mean at all. Yeah, but everyone started emailing me on the side being like, thank you. That was the Stephen Che of your friend group. Yeah, that one guy just felt like such an asshole. Che would sponsor the bachelor party. Yeah.

You guys would be reading ads. When I was on that bachelor party with all those famous dudes, John Mayer and all them, they got funny shirts on the way to one of the events and we played a game. Whoever wore the most embarrassing shirt. That's different.

We're like, we're going to wear these, right? And they were like, fuck no. It's different if you buy something. They put it on the bus and then by the time we got off the bus to go in the event, they weren't going to go in with some Spanish racist homophobic shirt on or something like that. Totally different.

But if everyone's got the same shirt, that sounds like a dream. Brad's last stand. Something like that. Totally different. But if everyone's got the same shirt, that sounds like a dream. Brad's last stand. Yeah. Something like that. But the girls dressing similar to each other. I feel like Guy Fieri really fucking, that was like a whole act of his career

is being dressed like at bachelorette parties. Bachelorette parties. Yep. That's a huge thing. I feel like he's like the biggest celebrity that people try to dress up like. You see the sororities. Bama Rush and all that.

They were all dressed up. They all had Guy Fieri days where they like, yeah. There's got to be another cultural phenomenon that hasn't been tapped into yet. By now, doing Guy Fieri, it's like you saw someone else do Guy Fieri. Guy Fieri's number one. You're saying his name different every time. No, I'm saying it how he said it. Fieri and Fieri.

I've been saying Fieri. I feel like you've varied that a little bit. Fieri. You think he's number one? I think he's the most dressed up as by women on their bachelorette parties. What about Kevin Garnett? Pipple? A lot of girls do Kevin Garnett.

It was crazy for Kevin Garnett. They fucking love it. Pipple. Pipple was a big one. That was a big one. I used to be my favorite trying to figure out what the costume for Halloween was going to be. I remember in college it was

right when Chappelle's show was happening and everyone was just Rick James one year. That was something. You can always tell. Or like the fucking Tiger King. Tiger King was going to be a big one. What's it going to be this year? I watched like a whole documentary about Rick James in the hotel

a couple weeks ago and that shit was wild. Yeah. The Dave Chappelle thing ruined his life. Yeah. Really? Went insane from it.

I didn't know that. Because anytime someone saw him, they're like, I'm Rick James. Yeah, yeah. He didn't live that much longer. No. I mean, he was a psychopath.

Yeah, I mean, he had done a lot of drugs. He was a bad person. I'm always fascinated by the people who are like, I'm literally just going to do, like, the rich, like, David Bowie. You ever read about David Bowie? He had, like, two or three years

where he just subsisted on cocaine, whole milk, and, like, hot peppers. He, like, kind of became a Nazi. It was wild. That's the fucking dream Kurt Cobain's like dream was to like

put out an album and like have it do really well and then just like become a junkie he's like I want to like he wasn't even like a junkie junkie and then he was like

I want to sit in my house for the next eight months and just shoot heroin every single day that's crazy yeah man lived his dream yeah

he did it's fucking dope. It breaks, yeah, that's what shocks me when like Elvis dies from shit like that. It's like, dude, he probably had such a good run

for a while of just being so high. Yeah. He must have had so much fun. Was he on opioids? Yeah, where he just backed his, he constipated himself to his heart exploded.

Yeah, he died. No, he didn't die eating a sandwich. That was Mama Cass, right? Mama Cass. But he did die on the toilet. Oh, he died on the toilet? Yes. It's like he, right? Mama Cass. But he did die on the toilet. Oh, he died on the toilet? Yes.

It's like he was so constipated. He had like 11 pills in him. That's the worst way to go. But it was straining, and he strained until his heart popped. But think about like, yeah, think about like you're someone finding you. On the toilet. You got poop in your butt. Do you think he evacuated his bowels?

Like when you die? Wouldn't it be the worst if he died and then he pooped? Oh, yeah. If he evacuated once he fell on the ground. His final act was to poop. Yeah. Isn't that everybody's?

A lot of people do. Your whole body, all the tension. Oh, maybe. You die, I think you just shit. Evacuate your bowels. Which is a neat thing to think about in your future. I hope that if I ever... You think their first move was to flush the toilet when they found him?

I hope if I ever go out like that... You know, wipe his ass? Yeah, they were like, this fucking reeks. I would look to see what kind of poop it was. Yeah. Someone out there knows... It was probably so dense because it was like 30 days of poop. It was probably just this thick ass log.

Go ahead and clean before the show's over? I'm just going to clean a couple things because I was just realizing that I might kick something over. Or I might smash something and it might go flying. We still got to spin the fucking wheel. Oh, yeah, we do. We got a wheel reset yesterday. People are very upset. Oh, yeah.

Ew. Oh. What was we do. We got a wheel reset yesterday. People are very upset. Oh, yeah. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. What was that? What? Ew.

Gross. What happened on the first sip? Ew. You missed that? What happened on your first sip? I must have blacked that out. I got to get that clip. Nice.

Yum. Yum. That shit looked delicious. Oh, man. Gross, dude. We're fucking dumb. That shit looked delicious Oh man Gross dude We're fucking dumb That shit was dumb So dumb Dude what if we like fucking

Bit into this gross thing Yeah Our whole sense of humor is fucking sweet I respect us though I enjoy it I respect the hell out of us I respect the audio listeners of the podcast. It's a middle school lunch table, but that's also the most fun time ever.

Oh, for sure. That would be how I describe the majority of the show. Yeah. It's a bunch of seventh graders sitting around bored. That's the best. Yeah. Absolutely. The essence of the show.

Did the girls table do shit like that? I got my first ever detention at the middle school lunch table. What? Shooting peas out of my straw. No way. I would shoot food out of my straw. I have a friend coming in tonight flying in for a couple days and our memories together are basically from the middle school lunch table.

Middle school lunch table. Just the two of you sitting alone. I was going to say, bring him in the show. Yeah. Maybe tomorrow, maybe. I don't know. For some high drinks Maybe tomorrow, maybe. I don't know. For some high jinx.

Well, yeah. Have him eat a stick of butter or stomp on a sausage patty and eat it. Well, it won't look that good. He's a black guy. What? Why would that not look good? I don't want to make my black friend drink butter. I don't want to make my black friend eat butter.

He's not really an on-camera guy. That's not racist. It's just weird. I just didn't want to make my black friend eat butter. He's not really an on-camera guy. That's not racist. It's just weird. I just didn't want to do that. It almost makes it more racist that you're kind of bringing it up like that. It does. Way, way more racist. I don't think about it.

You just wanted to flex. It's like some hidden Mississippi thing where you're stomping on butter. You can bring him and do whatever you want to him. That's fine. You guys know the history of butter. Yeah. You can't bring a black guy on TV and make him stomp on butter. You can do whatever you want to.

It's wood crossing all the lines. Rule number one. Damn, now we just have a bunch of extra Toblerones and bananas. Whatever these things are, the flake bars. Oh, those are so good. Please, Kate, I want you to have this for me spilling that fucking drink all over you. You don't want your flake? No, I have a bonus flake.

Oh, you brought it from Ireland. Here you are. I'm good. Are flake? No, I have a bonus flake. Oh, you brought it from Ireland. Here you are. I'm good. Are you sure? Irish candy sucks. Tommy will come in soon, I guess. I don't know. We'll have to arrange it.

We need a new Tommy Walker day. Yeah, huh? Whenever he wants. Yeah, whenever. He's on the shore right now, so when we move him to our house in September, it'll be better. We've got some big days coming up. We've got 12-hour stream. We've got Tommy Walker day.

We have data day. Oh, fuck. got Tommy Walker Day. We have Data Day. Oh, fuck. Data Day's close. That's what makes the years feel like they go fast. Two weeks from Thursday, yeah, Data Day. How quickly the Data Days come. Data Day never works out for Steven. You could probably even kind of script out the

argument of how it's going to go. Same every year, but it's my favorite day. It's a tradition. It's like a satyr. Yeah, exactly. We do the same thing every year and it still makes me laugh every year. You want me to type a transcript of last year's day, did I?

Oh, yeah. That was the other idea I had, Ron. We type out a transcript of a show we've done a year and a half ago and just memorize the lines and see if anyone notices. See when they can... The lowest viewed show. See when people pick up and they're like, what the fuck? It's the most benign show.

Word for word. But not drunk. Yeah. Make us all sit through and realize what we see. Say your order. I would actually watch the shit out of that. It's just an entire page of my line saying, say your order. Say your order. I would actually watch the shit out of that. It's just an entire page of my line saying, say your order.

It's a big catch monologue. It's like Shakespearean. Oh, fuck. All right, yeah, let's spin the wheel. Spin that shit. First wood grooming. Oh, yeah, wood grooming. We don't have ads in front of us.

Getwood.com, your local CVS. You can buy it on Amazon. You can buy it at the Barstool Sports Store. I use wood every single day. That's a fact. Same. I just got home. I was out of shampoo.

I need more, brother. Oh, fuck. I'll wash the rest of my body with wood. And they have great products. You're going to put a bag on it? Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do? Mm-hmm. Fuck.

You can't just not shower. That sucks. That part really sucks. Yeah. You didn't think about showering That sucks. That part really sucks. Yeah. You didn't think about showering. This is dumb. Thank you, brother. You look cool.

It feels cool, but I'm also already growing weary of it. There's our prep sheet. What's being played behind us? I think you. I think you're saying something really sucks. Straw really sucks. It's on repeat. Like you said, it's a men's game.

It's on repeat, TJ. Alright, let's see what's on the prep sheet. Gaz takes the heat and admits to not watching. Oh yeah, Gaz got lost. The one thing that confused me about this was

it Gaz or Dave who was like he didn't watch the whole video? Gaz didn't. The first four seconds of the video. I don't think he watched. I think he literally was just going viral. Yeah, because I got it sent to me separate. I saw the video, and I thought it was funny, and then I almost didn't even like the video.

Right. Because I was like, I don't want anyone to see that I liked it. Right. I don't. That guy is annoying. Oh, what the fuck was that? That guy is annoying. What the fuck was that? That guy is annoying. What is his deal?

He just goes to city councils and acts crazy and then he's like, gotcha. I don't understand it. It's one of those things where it's funny the first time you see it but if you realize he does that all the time, it's not funny anymore. Right, and it's also like his video got progressively less funny.

I actually won't lie. I was laughing the whole time I watched it. Right, and it's also like his video got progressively less funny because it's like when he was like... I actually won't lie. I was laughing. The whole time? I watched it, yeah. I can't really shit on him for that. But he's a weirdo, though. Guard carrying.

Why did he have groups of people with millions of followers defending him? I don't know because I think it's a very political thing. There's a video of him going up to AOC being like fat ass. Booty Latina. And everyone's ass, you gotta, or booty Latina and everyone's like, that ruled. Is he the first one that said that

or was she already mad and then he said it to her? I don't know, but I was like, that didn't really, that was just uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't know.

That fucking rules. I laughed at that video too, so. But it is funny when people realize that like, I actually celebrate his whole catalog.

You're a Savannah. I didn't, I didn't, I just, I didn't know it was the same dude until Greer told us that it was the same guy. But it's. Everyone's like oh Barstool sold out. It's like dude. Dave is very clear on like. He's been very. One thing we can't joke about.

Not only that but like Dave also is very clear like yeah he wants to sell out. Yeah. He likes to being rich. Yeah. And like we still do very funny content but yes it's not the same as it was 10 years ago when like no one was paying attention it will never be like that yeah nothing nothing ever stays the same that's like people get upset about it's like nothing ever stays your favorite band doesn't stay the same i think we're better

than we ever have been but But to be like, man, you guys are so different. It's like, yeah, no shit, dude. We're way bigger. There's way more of a target on our back at all times. There's rules now. Yeah. It's fucking rules. It's not like you can't do shit that's funny anymore.

We do a lot of funny shit. We just did a bunch of straws. That shit was fucking hilarious, dude. The people are going to be sucking us off for fucking years to come. Huh? Nothing. Alright, let's spin it. See you now. Oh, God.

I would have said wet. Wait, so what if I got wet? I think the double Ritz, we got to spin and see who has to eat a double Ritz tomorrow made by all of us. Oh, that is. What about you? Everybody. You want a double hot dog right now? You eat one and then.

Oh, no, that's worse. Way worse. Well, that's way worse. I think it could be... One droop all the size. I think that... Open your eyes, man. I think it should be double Ritz and then double Ritz should be off.

It should be the last double Ritz. I think we just... No, we have to do it. We have to do it. It will be a king double Ritz tomorrow and then the double Ritz is done. Yeah, I agree. We have to do it. We have to do it. There will be a king double Ritz tomorrow, and then the double Ritz is done. Yeah, I agree. What should replace it? That's the final act of the double Ritz.

So do we want to see who has to eat the double Ritz tomorrow? Well, I mean, if Nick and KB obviously have to get the double Ritz, they won't be able to eat it tomorrow. Or I guess they could eat it remotely. Oh, yeah. Well, it's got to be done by all of us. But they could have their little posse up there do it. A stoolie double Ritzing.

Yeah, so double Ritz will be... We got to replace it. There's a mudslide in it. Put KB in there. This Ritz looks like an Oreo. Wait, I got a question. How does Zaha and TJ... how did they originally get their immunity? Remember you guys had immunity?

The hot dog eating contest. No, it was... You won the case race? No, it was fucking Family Feud Day. The day where we did Family Feud Champion. Yak Gauntlet. Oh, got it. So I didn't win any immunity from the case race.

No. I used my immunity. I do have to have this cast. I still have mine. You can't. Yeah, you're. I got nothing from winning the case race. The cast is what Ben Arden has replaced the cast.

Which was the double wedgie, which was the hot chip, which was. Milk. Do we add something? Or do we already have. What should we add? Whoever gets double ritz tomorrow gets to add, right what should we add? Whoever gets double Ritz tomorrow gets to add, right? No.

Oh, yeah. Whoever gets double Ritz tomorrow gets to add something. Oh, they do? Yeah, because we're going to get rid of double Ritz. I'm going with double Ritz. Double Ritz is gone. Double Ritz is done.

People have been suggesting for a couple days OJ Mayo as a punishment. I think that just means put orange juice in mayonnaise. I kind of like that. Mmm. I kind of like that. I kind of like that.

So this is the person who has to eat a double Ritz made by all of us. Elimination wheel. Yeah, all the way to the end. Let's just do one person. It's the finale of the double Ritz. So wait, like, Sass chews it and then baby birds it into my mouth

and then I baby bird it? Oh, no! I wasn't thinking that way, but I was. Do you mean? Yeah. When I played rugby and we had our hazing night, we had to stand in a line and you cracked an egg in the first girl's mouth and then she had to pass.

We had to pass the yolk from mouth to mouth. That's hot. Go to the chat. The yolk had to be whole by the time it got to the last girl. What's that? A group of girls doing that? That's disgusting. Yeah. The yolk had to be whole by the time it got to the last girl. A group of girls doing that? That's disgusting. A group of hot sorority girls?

Oh, sweaty co-eds. This is definitely a sub-genre on Pornhub already. Mid-2000s hazing. Girls swap yolk. Ew. All right, so I'll do whatever you guys want for the double ritz, but it has to be the finale of the double ritz. Yeah, it's the finale.

What do you think? We all baby bird each other? Perhaps we just do regular ritz. Two ritzes stacked. That's a double ritz. Double chipwich? Oh, wait. What if you made like a mega stack? It's like each of our spit.

It's like a brick layer. Oh, like a double. Like one ritz and then a stack. Oh, I like that. It's not double of our spit. It's like a brick layer. Oh, look at that. Like one Ritz and then Oh, I like that. It's not double. Yeah, but that's Yeah, I like that.

I like that, Kate. Why does this person have to get that screw? It's a 10X Ritz. 10X Ritz. 10X Ritz. Yeah, I was going to say the baby berry,

but I like 10X Ritz. All right, 10X Ritz. You want to eat the whole stack? Mm-hmm. Take a nice good bite. You want to eat the whole stack? Brandon, you were very you right there. And I just love you, brother.

Thank you. Fucking love you, man. All right, spin it, TJ. This is it, though. Then Double Ritz is gone. Is this elimination? This is the last person standing. So we'll set the order.

This is the last person standing. So Nick's the first one to spin. All right, so Nick doesn't have to eat the quadruple, no, quintuple. So how many people are here? Dectarius Ritz. Dectarius Ritz. This sounds like a sweet wide receiver. Dectarius Ritz.

Shit, that's a Doug's player. Dectarius Ritz. I feel like I'm at the university. That's a Doug's player. Fuck. Dectarious Ritz. We were talking last night on the group chat about legitimately doing a death wheel, and it got me very excited. It did? We should maybe just do one that, like, this is what it would be.

What if they were off the show? Kick someone off the show? It's only in the scenario where we hit the deal reset two times in a row. Is it death wheel? Yeah. Hmm. Zaha, let's go! Oh, there you go.

Doo, doo, doo, doo. He's got to be getting nervous. I'm not nervous, so is three. I'm hungry for it. I'm nervous for you guys. I kind of want it. Rowan, do you have to wear that all week? Yeah, I'm going to get it off next week, maybe Monday or Wednesday.

Okay. He's just going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it. I'm nervous for you guys. I kind of want it. Rowan, do you have to wear that all week? Yeah, I'm going to get it off next week, maybe Monday or Wednesday. Close.

TJ safe. TJ. I mean, it would be perfect if it was Kyle, right? Yeah. He is the one who introduced. The perfect send-off. Yes. So let's root for it.

It always goes down to Owen, though. Owen, yeah. Owen did something to the wheel. Okay, I'm getting a little nervous. No, this is fine. I'm fine. This is fine. Eating all your guys' spit.

No problem. Ew. Okay. Okay. Oh, no. Owen's hyperventi. I don't even want to participate. Yeah, you are.

I know. We're going to let the boys ball. I feel self-conscious in my Ritz fit. Why? I had a lot of it out there. Oh, Owen. Oh, boo. As usual.

First to four. Oh, no. We're safe. Split it up. That's you, brother. We're safe. Daddy's choice. Are we going to do it like that, or are we going to split it?

First to four. He's talking about eight wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Split it. All kinds of diseases. Oh, yeah. At least sinus infections in the room. Yeah, probably.

Oh, yeah. Big time. That's a good. Yeah, probably. Oh, yeah, big time. That's a good-looking wheel. It's a great-looking wheel. All right, first floor. It's a surprise. Every day I'm more sick than I was the last day. You're thankful for that. Yeah.

I'm sure each day. I won nothing, mate. All right, big cat. All right. Alright, big cat. Alright. Are you nervous, Owen? It's not that bad. I've already had one. Oh yeah, you have.

2-0. Oh! Oh! This is a real comeback. Pretty boy. The comeback is a real comeback. Pretty boy. The comeback is imminent, though. Never want to have a 2-0 lead. 3-0 leads are not safe in this. Nope.

2-1. Here comes Owen. Owen. Yeah. I love that saying, worst lead in Hawkins. I'd still rather be up 2-0 than 1-0. 2-2. 2-2.

Pre-game series. Desmond. Going to be me. Girl's dress. Going to be me. Okay, I guess it comes down to this spin or the next one Any last words? I'm ready for the double ritz

Do you like your double ritz chunky or smooth? I want a little bit of both Like sass to make sure there's chunks Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. He played right to the God. One more prayer, Owen. Holy fuck. Oh, man.

Hey, Owen, be friends after this, all right? No matter what. Either way. Either way. I think I got this. I think I'm good. I think I'm good. Oh, no.

Oh, no. With the glare. I see. All right. Put it on my shoulders. I'll do the finale of the double ritz. It will be a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven, seven stack. Is it like a...

We wait for Patty the Batty to mail some spit. This will suck. Are you going to try to eat it all stacked up? I'm going to take one good big bite. I'm going to squish to eat it all stacked up? I'm going to take one good big bite. I'm going to squish it. All the way down? I'm going to take like that. Alright, here. I'll give you if you do that, I'll give you $200.

Oh, you took it from me? That's what you're talking about? You motherfucker. Motherfucker. But sometimes when you have a really tall burger you can't just straight bite into it. You know what I mean? You have to really crunch it down or unhinge it. You could hurt your jaw. You might want to do some jaw exercise.

Oh, this is going to be so disgusting. I might be taking a personal tomorrow. One less Ritz. I don't know if I'm going to be able to. I'm going to throw up. You might take a personal. This is going to be really hard on us. A lot of it.

A lot of it. This is actually worse for sass than for big cat sass making this about himself this is bad for all of us by the way cause now big cat has a wheel slice

for himself oh yeah oh what do you think OJ Mayo Frank Shuey death wheel oh god death wheel

or something else that's awesome Dorney Park season pass I guess I'll just come with a decision tomorrow 24 hours spitball oh? I guess I'll just come with a decision tomorrow.

Spitball. Oh wow, I wish I won. Yeah. What about everybody has to have a big bag of chips during the show? Just eat an entire big bag of chips. Kind that hurts your mouth like salt and vinegar. Yeah, yeah. Just make yourself sick off salt and vinegar chips. Hmm.

Eight bags of salt and vinnies. There's a lot of things I could choose. What if we have to go Rocky Mountain climbing? That would be awesome. We'd have to have Rocky Mountain oysters.

What if you got your hair dyed completely gray? Oh. Something fun. Someone has to get their hair dyed. I'd lay for you, Kate. I know.

Interesting. Touche. Huh. A hair dye. Brandon has late for you, Kate. I know. Interesting. Touché. Huh. A hair dye. Brandon has to make his friend eat butter. A shaved head wheel? Oh, a shaved head wheel? Oh, fuck no.

No. Hard pass. I would do that. Yeah, I'm big in it. Zah, you okay with it? I'm in. I'm dying to get rid of this shit. Really?

Yeah. Well, let's fucking do it. No, no, no, wait, wait. I'm not dying to get rid of this shit Really? Let's fucking do it No no no wait I'm not dying to get rid of this No I'm saying let's just shave Zaza Oh yeah okay let's do that Do you wanna? I know

We should give it to someone Just like bold? I think you I would like to see with a little Locks for love? Yeah I did I saw a live band once And the dude was raffling off a dread each song for charity.

It was awesome. Pretty cool. We could do a show like that. Someone has to eat one of Zaz's dreads. What if we deep fried them like a zucchini stick or something like that? Oh, my God. An appetizer of dreads. That hurts.

Zucchini stick roulette. It's just a bunch of zucchini sticks, but one of them is actually a piece of hair. Now we're talking. Zucchini stick roulette. We got to play zucchini. You know, like they do. Every other one is. It's a bachelor party thing, right?

Yeah, we had a zucchini stick themed bachelor party. It was sick. Oh, I like this. It might be zucchini stick roulette with Zah's hair as one of the zucchini sticks. We all have to eat a little dish of zucchini sticks, but one of them is all Zaz's hair. And we just spin the wheel to see who gets first pick because then they would have a better chance

of not getting the zucchini stick. Yeah, nobody, I mean, Zaz's hair probably tastes better than zucchini stick anyway. I'll come up with something. Don't a lot of people put honey in their dreads to kind of give it a nice... I put honey in my dreads. Actually, yesterday.

Let's go. So that shit might be delicious. Honey and marijuana. Marijuana. And oatmeal. Honey, marijuana, oatmeal, peanut butter is in my hair. Dreads sound delicious. That sounds good, bro. If we deep fried that, what, dude? peanut butter is in my heavy drink. That sounds delicious. That sounds good, bro.

If we deep fried that, what, dude? That sounds like a carnival. Deep fried honey, peanut butter, and marijuana? I was also saying, selfishly for me, I wouldn't mind if Botox was one. Like somebody here has to get, because it'll go away. So it's temporary, but somebody here has to get their face like. That'd be great. Super excited for.

Elective surgery? What if we all just get an elective surgery? Yeah, yeah. Elective. I'm just trying to get their face like... That'd be great. Super excited for... Elective surgery? What if we all just get an elective surgery? Yeah, yeah. Elective. I'm just trying to get free things done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the wheel. Dental work?

What if one of the wheel things was get dental work done? What if we go to Baja Mar? What if we all just had to go to Baja Mar as your punishment? What's Baja Mar? I don't even know, but that shit sounds exotic. Baja means below. Baja means below. Baja means below. Suck.

Mar is the sea, I think. Yeah, that's going to be terrible. My problem is that I always, my brain works in a way where it's like, wheel happens, I'm like, I'll never fucking lose. Then I lose, and I'm like, eh, it's not a big deal. And now I'm realizing I'm just going to eat everyone's saliva tomorrow. But you'll have some free time tonight, and you'll have time to think about exactly what you can do.

True. Good point, Brandon. But deep frying, that's got to be a clubhouse leader right now. Deep fried dread. It's definitely a clubhouse leader. That just sounds delicious. I also wouldn't hate watching someone eat like 15 hot dogs, and we can't finish the show until they're done.

We get Chef Donnie in to deep fry it. Yeah. Don't tell him what he's cooking. What's something that would suck to eat? It's like we literally will not finish the show until you're done. Does it have to be edible? I think the hardest I've ever laughed on this show is when KB had to eat that fucking octopus head. Oh, yeah.

Squirted. That was like the funniest thing I've ever seen. It was like moving. It had like a, it was like, it was so fucking As it cooked, it got more alive.

I've never seen that before. It came back to life. It was your sister. Uncurling. My sister. There she is. We got like a whole turkey and we couldn't leave

the room until two people finished the turkey. Yeah, yeah. Or birthday cake. Oh, I, yeah. Or a birthday cake. Go ahead and hit on a birthday cake. Oh! Two people on a cake.

An entire birthday cake. Deep fried. They can't use their hands or their forks or anything. It has to be bare mouth in it. Yeah. And what if you have to shooey the deep fried grease afterwards. Frank Shooey, obviously. Oh, it's still hot.

You have to step on a bunch of thumb tacks. Yeah. We're just doing Home Alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get a hit in the face with an iron. Yeah. After I got this. Yeah, yeah.

This is just torture. Yeah, we're doing a torture show. You get hung on a coat hook, and I'm going to bite every one of your fingers off. Yeah, let's hire a surgeon to come in and slowly dissect one of us. And we all have to eat the other one. Oh, I watched Red Dragon. Awesome. Yeah, it was good.

What is it? Fuck you. Oh, it was good. I liked it. I didn't like it as much as... Well, no, it's not as good as Silence of the Lambs. But I want to watch it, so Hannibal's not good. Eh.

It doesn't get a bad rating. You can watch it. It's just not as good. Yeah. I'm a little over that genre for now, anyway. Yeah. Well, because I looked up best thriller, detective, crime movies, and I've seen all of the top 10. Ugh. Usual Suspects? No. That is a great movie. Watch that. thriller detective crime movies and I've seen all of the top.

Usual Suspects? No. That is a great movie. I should watch that. Usual Suspects. We never figured out why that dude pretended to have a limp on the first day

of American Yak Idol, I mean. Who? Ali. Oh, yeah, that guy was... He had a brain injury. He said he got hit by a car. Maybe he was trying to give a physical representation

of a brain injury. Oh, okay. Limp. Okay. I think we're, yeah, so wait. Clemmer, Danny, Caroline. We got three? Four.

On Rich. On Rich, four. And wait, the woman who does the man on the street. Danny. Oh, Danny, sorry. Most successful Barstool Idol of all time. Yeah, there's more people that won Barstool Idol in here than not. Most of the employees are from Barstool Idol of all time. Yeah, there's more people that won Barstool Idol in here than not. Most of the employees are from

Barstool Idol now. Really sucks for Nadeau and Luke. Luke was at... I thought we were getting close. Luke was at Rough Ratties. Oh yeah, Luke was there. Fat trick queuing. I still, for the life of me, don't understand why he didn't just come in the first day and be like, my Twitter handle's Fat Trick Queuing.

He would have just been like, okay, you're hired. Told us that after we eliminated him. He's like, oh yeah, follow me on Fatrick Ewing. Fuck, dude. You gotta lead with Fatrick Ewing. That handle alone will pay dividends.

That shit's funny. Yeah. Fatrick anything. You gotta get Horny Batman back in the mix. That was rough. That was fucking awesome. I told you about how I met

the people, what is it, what's the comedy club in Nashville, Zany's? Yeah. I met like the owners, they were at the stand and they were like,

yeah, I saw you met our boy, our friend Horny Batman because they were like, because he does stand up at Zany's and they were like, we told him not to do it. They were like, yeah, I saw you met our friend Horny Batman. Because he does stand-up at Zany's. And they were like, we told him not to do it. They were like, we told him multiple times that it wasn't funny. See, it rules. That's what makes it rule so hard.

I know, funny. Not once, I'm doing it every time. Oh, fuck. Devlin coming on will always be a incredible moment, too. That was so fucking funny. Yeah, that was highlight of the week, probably. That shit was. Except for when they climbed around with the basketball.

That might have been my highlight of the week. That shit was fucking sweet. Let's do Yak Idol again. That was fun. Just do it every couple of weeks? Yeah, just, you know, run people through the gauntlet. You know what I mean? Has anyone thought about doing the reality shows that we do

with, like, outsourcing to, like, stoolies or something like that? They have talked about it, but I think that they... Like the Top Reply guys all get... Yeah, yeah, or like a contest type thing. I don't know anything, but I think just, like, I don't know. I think part of the beauty of reality shows shows that none of the people know each other. Yeah. I think they've talked about it, but I think that they think that like the dynamics of

Barstool employees between one another and the crowd that they would naturally bring is like you bring your whole fan base to the most dangerous game. Yeah, I guess that's true. Unless we get hot people. Yeah. I mean, I've been pushing true. Unless we get hot people. Yeah. I mean, I've been pushing for a fuckfest show for a while. I think Tommy Batchelor would be the best show of all time. Who's the guy that came in the first day of Barstool Idol?

Hot guy. Joey? Is that his name, Joey? Yeah. Joey Joy. Let's get back him in the mix. Joey Joy. I forgot about Joey Joy.

You thought he was hot? Well, he was on a show called Hot Dudes or some shit. I don't know. That's a lot to handle, maybe. Fuck Boy Island. That's a lot to handle, yeah. I thought we were going to get Polizzi in here. Yeah, what happened to that?

I guess once Molinaro got out, Polizzi just said, fuck it. That's your favorite comedian. Solidarity with your boy. That's my goat. He's that goat. Isn't he on an HBO show right now? Fuck Boy Island? Yeah, Fuck Boy Island.

I've got to watch it, but I'm waiting for it all to air so I can binge it. Did you guys watch the first episode of Thrones? Fuck no. No, I'm confused. What is that? A little too much. Quite intense. It's a prequel.

Oh, interesting. Is it good? I mean, I liked it, but it is... I forgot, like, because Game of Thrones hasn't been on for a few years, like, you forget that Game of Thrones, they just, they go hard in the paint. That's a show I've been meaning to watch. I've seen it, but I've heard it's just, like, outstanding. Ripping the stomach open.

Don't, no spoilers, no spoilers. I can't wait until everyone's just complaining about it. Yeah. For years. No, less than that, I think, they'll be like,

why the fuck did this thing happen on the show that I'm watching? Yeah. Then don't watch it, or just shut the fuck up. Have you been watching, uh, the new Nathaniel,

Nate, Nate Fielder show? Yeah. Just. That's awesome. I, I don't think I love a show more, like he,

just for the sheer fact that HBO is like, we'll give you unlimited budget and just do whatever you want in the fucking weird brain. So he just brings a bar around with him? Yeah. I still want a show on the behind the scenes of that show. Yes. That lady who lived in the house who thought she wanted kids,

where the fuck did they find her? Yeah. How? I don't know. I just am so curious about so many things behind the scenes. Regular people are awesome. He got a season two,

and he got a new show. Oh, wow. Yeah. He just gave him money. Safdie Brothers and Emma Stone as his co-star. Love it. Yeah, he is.

And that show's so unique that he could do another show without any problem of it being like, oh, this is so unique that he could do another show like without any problem of it being like oh this is similar to that format weird brain crazy bastard

yeah that weird brain fucking bastard if Caleb comes in on Thursday he's gotta tell the story about how he bought him a salad once he bought Nathan Fielder a salad

yeah he just didn't say anything to him he was like I wouldn't want anyone to say something to me so I just bought him a salad and kept him moving. That's awesome.

Legendary fucking interaction. Tell you what, goats. I just watched Caleb's Bama Rush the Machine video again because I went down like a Bama Rush TikTok rabbit hole. That's the Southern sororities, man. They're really crazy. Machine? Machine, yeah.

That shit's bad. Don't they all kill themselves if they don't get in? I read some article about that. I don't think so. I don't know. A lot of the schools, they have to close off the top of buildings and shit. Where? No.

Yeah. A lot of schools. A lot of schools. Not a lot. The schools themselves. The schools have broken off. Roped off buildings. You're telling me a lot of schools have a lot of suicides.

I read one article about a school that has to do that. Broke off buildings. You're telling me a lot of schools have a lot of suicides. I read one article about a school that has to do that. Both schools have nets. They made that quad just completely a trampoline, right? Yeah. The whole school is a trampoline. I know Cornell has nets. Over the bridge. Yeah, because those nerds get stressed out about grades.

The weather's bad. Yeah, the weather sucks. Dude, no one cares what grade you get. That's what they should. They should just have someone standing on the bridge being like, don't care. You're going to get the job anyway. You went to Cornell. You're fine.

Nobody checks. Yeah. No one will ever check your grades in college. People care about your GPA for literally the first job out of college and never again after that. I brought my resume here to show Dave when I went to the interview and he looked at me like I had five heads. He's like, am I supposed to look at this thing? Like, resume loser?

And I was like, oh. That was one of the most freeing moments, like probably about five years ago. I was like, I'm never going to have a resume again. I never had one. Yeah, I'll never have to produce a resume. Like here. Huh. Yeah, you ever think about that to produce a resume. Like here. Huh. Yeah, you ever think about that?

It's awesome. That's a great feeling. Pretty sweet. There's no way in any world where I'd be applying for a job where I'd just be like, hey, here's my resume. When you type out what you do, it sucks. And it's also like people are like, what? Why?

It's so awkward. It'd either be a stoolie or they'd like it. And I'm also talking about a world where I have to get a real job again, which I hope that never happens. That would be a stooler or they like and I'm also talking about like a world where like I have to like get a real job again which hope that never happens but that would be a turn that would be quite a turn

if that's happening to you I can't imagine what we're doing I would be that would be really bad but like it doesn't bode well for any of us

because we've lost the civil war to the south or something like that that would be great wow I should go apply for a job I thought about that that's one of the punishments.

What if you got it? Job interview? You can convince yourself to do it. You have to go hidden camera at a real job interview at like J.G. Wentworth or something like that. Oh, my God. And the punishment doesn't end until you get hired? Yeah, until you get to it. I think that might be it.

Keep going until you get a job? I think that might be it. Oh, and then we can, because then everybody can have fun looking at your resume that you made I think that might be it. Keep going until you get a job? I think that might be it. Oh, and then we can, because then everybody can have fun looking at your resume that you made and all that stuff. Yeah.

When I first moved to New York, I think that's the punishment. That's amazing. You got to go through the hiring process. The job search. Put it on the wheel. I think it's going to be like

something really easy. Put it on the wheel. Like, are we doing a real job? Real jobs. Oh, okay, okay. Real jobs. It could last weeks for somebody. Oh, it could last years.

No, but this would be one of the funniest things. Yeah. I'm Serge. And we'll have to... Do we write... We're going to write the resume ourselves? Yeah, and then we also... The rule is that we get to decide where you apply.

So it can't be like McDonald's. Yeah, you can't just go... We're going to have you apply to like a... A wheel of places to apply to. What? What if this backfires and one of us end up just getting like an amazing, amazing job? No, that won't happen. Job search.

You kill the spy cam? I think I'm going to take it, dude. I'm just thinking about this right now. If KB gets this, he might- Imagine KB at multiple job interviews. That would be so fucking funny. It would ruin him. Nah, it would be the funniest thing we've ever done.

We'll have to figure out where he's going to apply. Smoothie shop. I want to get cameras in there. I want to be like, hey, we're going to have this guy apply. Oh, you think so? I think we should do hidden mic. Oh, I think. Yes. Can we sign it? That's what I want.

Not everybody's going to sign off on that. I think a lot of places would. I think that then it turns into a joke. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of someone actually getting the job. So we blur the faces and have a camera in his hat or something? Are you allowed to use someone's voice if it's...

What if we say it's not Barstool Sports that's doing this documentary? What if it's a college and they want it for the guidance department to have? We just won't lie at some point. Yeah, I'm saying, well, this is going to work better if we lie. It's better if they don't know. I guess we can't record without their permission. But the best scenario is them not knowing. I also think the first job they should have to apply to

is a sales job here with Erica. Yeah. Then we are guaranteed at least two job applications. I'm getting the sales job. If they put me in there, I would fucking get the sales job. I guarantee it. I'd get the first ass job. The first sales job. Oh, this is going to be I'd get the first ass job. The first sales job.

Oh, this is going to be so good. I'm really excited. I want, yeah. If it turns out a sales job upstairs is so much better than being a engineer. I think it is. So much fucking better. Like starting salary and they say like triple what you're making. You just have to sell part of my take, which gets a billion views.

I think worse people to get this punishment are Roan and Stephen Chay because they would get a job instantly. Yeah, they would. I think KB would do well. Best people, Sass and KB. Sass, you having to go in and be like, I went to one year of college. Is it? It would be funny.

I would be like. Just specific to the person? Well, no. We'll decide. We get to the job. Should we just do this regardless? No, it's like we should just not even. We are.

We are. I don't think it should be on the wheel. I think we should just. No, but we're going to do it regardless because it will come up organically. And it could happen again on the wheel. And it could happen again. And then we will spin to see who has to go. And then it just becomes.

What if it was a contest to see who could get the highest paying job? Oh, wow. You would win probably, but. I don't know. I don't think my. I mean, if I was trying to to see who could get the highest paying job? Oh, wow. You would win, probably. I don't know. I don't think my... I mean, if I was trying to get a real job, I don't think my... I want to get Che hired for the NFL. It would just be talked about as someone that didn't recognize you.

Yeah, I'd just be like... I would just maybe try to get a job at Wall Street. Oh, he's a podcaster. Oh, and everyone would be like, oh, yeah, big cat, come hang out. I would be nervous as fuck. Oh, you will be when you get it. Why would you be nervous? Yeah, there's nothing to lose. I don't know. I don't have a suit. Oh, you will be when you get it. Why would you be nervous? There's nothing to lose.

I don't know. Asking for validation from someone. Even if the person's not my boss, I'm still going to look at them like they are my boss? Job search. This is going to be fucking great. Oh my god. Yeah.

Just some cocksucker in a fucking purple button down shirt And pants Interviewing you I'll say it too You know what job We could easily do If we want to just

Keep it elongated Am I getting to decide What job they search Because it's my punishment I think We're in the discovery phase So we could put it on a wheel Like TJ said earlier

Yeah We could just have you decide Or like you could have a tier Be like okay This is the first job. If you don't get this, maybe it gets easier. I would love to have Sas go and apply to be a nanny. That would be so uncomfortable.

Yes, yes. With the family. Yes, you just got to be like, yeah, I could take care of your kids. No, but I think I could actually do that if I wanted to. No one would hire you as a nanny. Yes, they would. No chance. We're not talking about a babysitter. We're talking about a No one would hire you as a nanny. Yes, they would. No chance. We're not talking about a babysitter.

We're talking about a nanny. A stay-in nanny. Who's there every day. No chance. A night nurse. No, I couldn't do that. You clean the pump parts at night. Bring them up to the door.

It's just going to be like, what have you done that has gotten you to a point where you can take care of kids? You'd have to be, like, CPR certified. Yeah, what would your answer be? I have sisters. I got little sisters. Okay. How old are they? Girl fans.

Don't worry about it. So they're not even close to this five-year-old and three-year-old you're tasked to take care of? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, like an Upper West Side nanny. Yeah. That's what you're going to have to apply to. That would be tough. It's like walking a baby at midday with Jamaican ladies.

Even for him to interview at an agency would be awkward, I feel like. All this shit. Have him fucking interview for a bouncing job at a strip club? Just being like, what, this? You can interview with Tyler O'Day at the Empire State Building.

Oh, yes, Tyler O'Day. Yeah Empire State Building oh yes Tyler O'Day yeah oh we're gonna find a lot of jobs for you said you would interview you could interview a Tyler O'Day at the Empire State Building I jump off that one first day just immediately don't they have some bullshit architecture that doesn't let you jump off a lot of layers it's like all the fucking colleges these days that'd be great if we just remade their resume and it was just like for the Empire State Building like the top one was Thrill Seeker. Yeah.

Squirrel suit diver. He's kind of fat. Yeah. He just tweeted he's 2XL now. In a rough zone. Ada! My boy's shoes are a little bit too low top to have ankles that fat.

Like I don't want a fat chain, but I don't know what he's doing with his... My boy's got cleavage on his ankles. I've never seen it. Cleavage on his ankles. Never seen that before. Joey. Joey's got stout ankles.

I don't know if the two shirts might not be helping you. Grab a seat, brother. You want to go play basketball? I'm about to play. Not in the low- a seat, brother. You want to go play basketball? I'm about to play. Not in the low tops, though. You'll roll one of those things. Actually, you're not rolling an ankle. I apologize.

You walked by and I said, Dana's looking fat. Yeah, Brandon just said that. Come in so you can make fun of me. I don't want to make fun of you, but you did when you, it must have been the angle. No, I'm up there. I'm 257. Whoa. Yeah. You're a big dude. You don't look that. You don'm up there. I'm 257. Whoa. Yeah.

You're a big dude. You don't look that. You don't look fat. I was 266. Oh, okay. You're fine. Which is way too fat. You're fine.

You're a D-end. I'm sorry I haven't been playing basketball. It's all right. I expect you to just cancel every time. It's just the kind of guy you are. What are you doing this fall, Dana? I'm going on a tailgate tour What?

It's breaking news Oh, that would be good for your health Wait, what? That sounds fucking awesome I don't know if you've seen All I'm doing is trying to figure out a school And I'm milking the hell out of it Oh, this isn't like a branded thing

You're just doing yourself? No, it is branded Oh, nice Let's go, doggy I somehow boondoggled this Actually, this isn't like a branded thing. You're just doing it yourself? No, it is branded. Oh, nice. Let's go, doggy. I somehow boondoggled this. And you still couldn't get a beer sponsorship? No, they don't like beer. One of the funniest conversations ever was when you're in the car,

and Dan's like, yeah, I don't have a beer sponsorship. Why'd you switch? The height of beer guy. I was like, why'd you switch? I think I'm going to be back to the beers in September. Okay. Nice. switch? I think I'm going to be back to the beers in September. I saw Owen today and I said, what's up, O?

And he didn't recognize me. He doesn't recognize O. I'm sorry about that. When was that? It was like lunchtime. I'll find you later. Tell us more about the tailgate tour, bro. I actually have to run. You guys keep doing the show. There's about four or five schools I'm going to be visiting for game day,

and I get to go to the games. That's pretty much it. Is this like the finals of your search? It is. This is how I'm going to figure out what school I want. Can you say what the finals are yet or no? I'm eliminating three tonight at 7 p.m. Where are they going to be?

I can't tell you. Okay, nice. What's left right now? Louisville, Kentucky, Washington State, Oklahoma State. Michigan State. Nebraska. Texas Tech. Man, you're struggling.

This is impressive. Washington State. Washington State. I'm surprised by that for some reason. I don't think it's Northeastern. There it is. South Carolina. That's where Ted Bundy went to college, isn't it?

Where? Washington State. So the most... What are you basing these on? I've been to a bunch of these schools. So far, I'm basing it off of like... What's the word? When people interact with you.

Interaction. Yeah, yeah. Like people tweeting you and being like, Dana, here's why. Here's like some actually good stuff. A lot of videos I'm getting. A lot of tweets I'm just basically off. I think that South Carolina, if it was up to me and knowing what I know, I think that South Carolina would be my number one.

I've heard that they have the best tailgates ever. Really, really good tailgates. Yeah. That's all I – I'm too old for, like, college partying. I'm looking for tailgates. Yeah. And their tailgate suite is, like, a nice lot. Yeah.

And Michigan State has good tailgates, too. And so does – I mean, Oklahoma State. Like, Oklahoma State. You've been to all these? Yeah. Because we did all these college shows. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have to travel to each of these.

RIP Buddha Ben. Yeah. We went to a bunch of places. But is this going to be appearing on the college football show or anything like that? It will be a mixture, yes. What's the content going to be like? What's going to come out of it? Me and Glennie Balls.

Sheesh. Love it. Basically just. 16-hour days. balls. Basically just going to a shitload of colleges and appearing at bars and going to tailgates and game day. So the dream. Yeah.

I don't know how I swindled. Who's shooting it? We don't know yet. This just happened yesterday. Like 12 hours ago. That's awesome. What the fuck? I don't know how I got... Who's the sponsor? I don't know if I'm, I don't know how I got. Who's the sponsor? I don't know if I'm allowed to say it. Okay, cool.

You should let us four shoot it. Yeah. You know I'd shoot the fuck out of it, bro. You can come, I think. I wouldn't just shoot though. I don't want to be doing any partying. Some of these camera people like to mix it up and drink

while they're shooting. That would not be me. Well, the only thing is, no, I wouldn't either. The only thing is, I think the sales team is trying to influence a little bit, like who I choose. No, no, no. This is like a far after Barstool thing.

A team I'm going to stick with forever. What do you mean far after Barstool? Like whenever I'm old and gray, this is going to be my team. Oh, forever. So you're serious about it. This is not to appease anybody at Barstool. This is for myself. This is for football only? And basketball.

Football and track. Okay, so women's volleyball, et cetera. So, like, I mean, Michigan State obviously is going to have a little bit more weight in basketball. I mean, Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Cincinnati has some juice. And I'm also not trying to pick anywhere that a Barstow employee has already picked. Like, I wanted Penn State, but you and Jeff D. I know. There's like 50 fucking Penn State people in here. I think I'm going to go to the Rutgers-Nebraska game.

TJ, I don't know if you're back there. UT Austin eliminated. Yeah, they didn't do any noise. Really? Zero noise. Wait, so you just need people interacting with you so when you go to the campus, you know it's going to be lit for you? Yeah.

But you'll be able to, I mean... It's all about me. But some of these you would be able to go to and it would just be fucking awesome regardless. Yeah, it's going to be awesome everywhere. Why not Jackson State though, bro? Because I don't want to be... I said no Barstool influence.

That's Barstool influence. All right, I got you. You're a good man. All right. Thanks, guys. That's exciting. DeJuan's bigger than just Barstool. Yeah, he is.

You know what I mean. Do I actually look fat? No. No, you don't. He just went... I was saying, yeah. I think he just noticed you got a haircut. Stand up.

Ah. Look at that. Nice shape. You look good. a haircut. Stand up. Ah. Look at that. Nice shape. You look good. Good shape. You actually look fine. Great shape. All right, guys. All right, Dana.

Thank you for coming in, bro. Take it easy, bro. Yeah, we can end the show. Yeah. Let's wrap it up. It's 2.45. Jesus Christ, dude. We've been fucking yakking.

All right. See you yakking. All right. See you guys tomorrow. All right. See you guys tomorrow. See you guys tomorrow. It's the act It's the act It's the act