The Yak - Exploring the Mysteries of Wheeling, West Virginia | The Yak 8-1-23

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Can't wait for shohei ohtani dayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Yes, time to talk shop. New. It is the Yak. Welcome back to a beautiful Tuesday. It's August.

There's still a pretty good chunk of the summer left, even though your biology would suggest otherwise. It's going to be hot till October. You think so? Yeah. 100%. Did you know, I read this, this could be wrong, Miami has never had over a 100 degree weather. That ain't true. That ain't true.

That ain't true. Alright, I just wanted to put that out there, And then Alaska and Hawaii have the same record temperature. Really? 100 degrees. Where are you reading this? Do you not believe me? I was reading it on Reddit, and I did a good job. I was reading it on Roback.com.

Ah. R-H-O-B-A-C-K. Then it's true. That's the place to shop today. Roback.com. 20% off all polos, hoodies, shorts. Use code YAK. You're going to look good. No matter

what's the temperature. No matter if you're in Miami, Oahu, Anchorage. You're going to be looking good. You're going to be feeling good and you're going to be playing good in Roback. Where were you reading that stuff? It said that Miami has had more snow days.

What's it? What's it? My source. My source. And I'm going to gatekeep it. You're going to fact check? I bet it's 100 in Miami right now. Miami's had more snow days than over 100 degree days. I'm not buying it.

There has to be a way to get to the bottom of this. That's what I said. Here we go. All-time record high. Oh, fuck. That deep red is only in 90s. That's crazy. That's 98?

No. No way. Because isn't everybody's reasoning that it's just too hot in the summertime to go to Florida? Everybody in Dexter is so sweaty. Yeah. Maybe it's just too hot in the summertime to go to Florida. Everybody in Dexter is so sweaty. Yeah. Maybe it's just super humid. Yeah, look at that. He's always wearing long sleeves.

That Angel guy always has back sweat, and so does Dexter. He's jacked. Oh, you're thinking of the detective. Who's Angel? His family friend. Real quick. Stephen, are you experiencing any awe right now about this fact? I mean, it's an interesting fact.

It's confirmed true. Yeah. They just pulled it up on Wikipedia. It's the nature of facts. So, yeah. That's pretty cool. So, no awe. No awe.

The wizard has failed. When was the last time you felt awe? Was it when O's came in and he said, Tampa Bay Buccaneers? I wouldn't say that. That probably was the last time I experienced true awe. That's not true.

You're right. Well, that means, like, that feels like going to, like, Dave going to fucking Montauk for the summer feels like a mistake. It's probably like 100 degrees in Montauk every day. Let's find out Montauk. I bet you the humidity in the swampy coast makes it a lot more unbearable. You think?

Maybe. I don't know. I think that... Is it Miami Beach or are we talking Miami downtown? Maybe the beach has a little bit of a... Breeze? They would have said Miami Beach. Damn, my eyes feel opened.

I feel a little bit of awe. I need your source. I want your guy. I want those facts. Yeah, I got some crazy ones. So it doesn't get that hot in Hawaii either? I guess not. Or it gets really hot in Alaska.

Damn, it's 73 in Montauk right now. Damn. What the fuck? I don't know if you're reacting to that, if that's high or low. Yeah, what are you saying? So low. Okay. Is New York City nice lately?

I think New York's like 75 right now. It's been pretty moderate lately. No, it's in the 80s right now. Well, let's find out. This is a temperature show. I like this, though, because we can get right to the bottom of out. This is a temperature show. I like this, though, because we can get right to the bottom of it. This is mathematical. No more arguing.

Chicken and egg. Even though, didn't they just come out with the fact that it's the chicken that came first? Because the eggs has a plasma or something that is only found in the chicken? I don't know. I don't know. It feels like in Miami. It's 104 right now. It feels like 104? I don't get the feels like.

I guess with humidity and stuff. Cigar smoke. Yeah. Fucking rum in the air. I can't believe rum even made it into the pantheon of major liquors. It's fun. It is? Yeah.

I like rum. Well, what makes it tropical other than its association with pirates and such in Caribbean? Does it come from sweet? I think the taste. Taste his ass. I like the taste. What? Yeah, it's like vanilla-y.

I think rum and coke is good. It's very good. Pineapple juice and rum, one of my go like vanilla-y. I think rum and coke is good. It's very good. Pineapple juice and rum, one of my go-to wedding drinks. I hate rum and coke. Pineapple juice and rum. What color drink is that? I get that at weddings a lot. It's pretty true.

I've never even heard of that. I haven't either. Because they always have pineapple juice there. So it's like, yeah, let me get that. There's one elite rum drink, and that's a mojito. No one can agree with me? I think I just don't like alcohol. Mojitos are the most refreshing

alcoholic drink and one of the five that makes your breath smell better. What are the other four? Mascow Mule, perhaps? Gin and Tonic? A little mint? Gin and Tonic, for sure. You think tomato breath is better?

Gosh, that would be way worse. Bloody Marys are so good. I don't think I've ever had one. Oh, I would drink a Bloody Mary. If it was socially acceptable, I would just drink them all night. People do that now. Have you ever tried to order a Bloody Mary at like 2 a.m. at a bar? It depends what kind of bar.

Look at you like you're fucking insane. Oh, 2 a.m.? Oh, yeah, that's weird. I think Nate's a proponent of late, late bloodies. Is he? He's got to be salt deficient. I need to put a salt lick in Nate's bedroom. He's got one.

A block? Yeah. That he could just go to town on and suckle at? Salt is pretty important. Frank keeps that emergency one. Yeah, he does. He keeps an emergency quarry that he can fucking tongue down. A quarry behind some glass that he can smash in case of emergency.

Just suckle at. Him in a quarry would be like Augustus Gloopo at Willy Wonka's factory. Yeah, quarries are, I guess, dangerous. People are always dying at quarries. Little boys. Jumping in. It's always little boys

who want to go for a swim. We swam in a limestone quarry and we came out and our skin was so soft. I couldn't keep my hands off me. That was amazing. Did you please yourself afterwards? Kids are always drowning.

Yeah, but I... Drowning in quarries. I know. They're always named after women like Stacy's Quarry. Because the mom of whoever drowned in there. But what is it about... Yeah, maybe these kids are just too brave.

Quarry has a lot of debris at the bottom that you probably get stuck in. Like we swam in this quarry and we were trying to go down in the car. The quarry has a lot of debris at the bottom that you probably get stuck in. Like, we swam in this quarry and we were trying to go down in the car. The car, yeah. People get stuck in the car at the bottom of a quarry. How scary would that be? Jumping down and then you go to push up

and you just can't go back up. Very scary. Because you're stuck in a car. Yeah. Your foot got stuck in a car. Toyota. Yeah. You just go right through the sunroof

right into the driver's seat. Yeah. You just go right through the sunroof, right into the driver's seat? Yeah. You're buckled in. Oh, yeah. Just out-buckles. Car consumes you. It's part of the ocean. Part of the quarry.

What is the water at the bottom of a quarry? What type of body of water is that? It's rainwater, isn't it? Is it? Sometimes they get high as hell, though. Maybe they hit a spring? Because aren't quarries isn't it? Is it? Sometimes they get high as hell though. Maybe they hit a spring. Zarn Kori's man-made. Yeah. KB, I feel like this would kind of be your

wheelhouse. Let me drop some more facts. Saudi Arabia has no rivers. Really? No natural rivers. Really? Damn. What the fuck? Give me a fact about Australia. Australia? Yeah. You the fuck? Give me a fact about Australia. Australia?

Yeah. You can fly from Perth. You can go on a three-hour flight from Perth and still be in the state of Western Australia. I forget where the destination is. Brisbane? I forget how big it is. About Brisbane? Give me something about Brisbane. Tell me about the megafauna down there.

Brisbane? Tell me about the megafauna down there. Brisbane are places in northern, northwestern Australia, but more so in the Solomon Islands are the only places with black people who have naturally blonde hair. Whoa, can we see that? I think Papua New Guinea as well. It's more a Solomon Island thing. Is that where Cisco's from? Maybe.

A lot of thongs down there. Look that up. I think it's pretty cool. Yeah, what the hell? That is interesting. I wonder what that's due to. Genetics, probably. Maybe they're just fucked. Austro-Asian genetics.

Was Australia the last thing that people discovered? Did they discover Australia? Were humans on Australia or America first? Australia was a prison colony. I don't know. I mean, I guess they had natives.

Maybe Australia. I'm talking about natives. Oh, I don't know. Back in the day. Someone was telling me yesterday, fun fact, that the Korean War is not over. It's at a ceasefire. Whoa.

Oh, shit. Those are beautiful people. That's not so much. That's not so much. That's what a lot of the natives of Solomon Islands look like. No kidding. There you go. Oh.

Damn. Yellow hair. Have you ever seen an albino black person? Yeah. Yeah. Where's that at? Where do they locate that? That's just more of a genetic thing. They're always in the

Guinness World Record. It was like the biggest albino family. It was black people. Most members or? I forget. In the O2. Fattest albino. There's always that one part

Of the Guinness World Record That's just gross Yeah Yeah Gross people It's always that Fingernail man Yeah

Yeah He's dead right I hope I think so There was probably a woman Who was overjoyed Oh this is the biggest Albino family

They are pretty big That's not what I remember I would be horrified If they walked into a bar. They don't even look that albino. What? They just look pale. They just look like they need to get some sun.

Who's the smallest dude nowadays? He's the one that I remember. I wonder if he's still alive. The smallest dude? Yeah, he was a rascal. Was he a rascal? Yeah. I remember smallest waist. He was like one. Smallest waist, I remember well. a rascal. Was he a rascal? Yeah. I remember smallest waist.

He was like one. Smallest waist, I remember. Some lady was sitting on 13 inches. Yeah, you got to be coming up on that. Smallest waist? There he is. That must be him, or it's someone who just, they all look like that. Wouldn't Hasbulla be up there for that?

This dude is like two feet. No, like one foot. He's one foot? He's fly, though. 20 inches. 20 inches. He's one foot? He's fly, though. 20 inches. 20 inches. He's extremely fly. He's 20 years old.

Two feet and 1.6 inches. How tall is Hasbulla? Two, one. He's probably like three. Decent. Oh, he's sitting on a basketball. Make that thing look like a love sack. That is a nice-ass chair.

Nice football being able to accessorize. This dude just flies hell. The watermelon. Get it out, Sass. Him. He's dressed up for the football. Put him to dance. Miscommunication.

Shit. Miscommunication. Shit. Miscommunication. Sassy. One of those days? Yes. It's just one of those days. You surprised us by being on time today, though. I did.

You sent us a warning shot. No, you sent us a one-word text. Diarrhea. Jeez. I know you had the magical fruit last night. What magical fruit? No, he sent us a one-word text. Diarrhea. Geez. I know you had the magical fruit last night. What magical fruit? Wait, what was the diarrhea from the diarrhea song? It's the diarrhea song. I think you're thinking about the beans song.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. Yeah, I'm confusing the diarrhea and the beans. There's a diarrhea song as well. Diarrhea. Cha-cha-cha. Right. But when you're... Oh, and it was a rhyme.

It'd be like, when you're climbing up the ladder and you feel a little flatter. That's it. Diarrhea. Cha-cha-cha. Who the hell came up with that? Children.

I bet it was Weird Al's perverted ass. His ass don't hold him in. Great tone on that. When're riding in your sleigh you hear some spray diarrhea when you're climbing up a mountain and your butt becomes a fountain diarrhea it's amazing that

when you're driving in your car the largest cause of death back then is now a joke yeah it shows the human progression. They were dying from the effects, side effects of diarrhea or wild diarrhea.

I think Attila the Hun died of diarrhea. That's why I got his diarrhea so fast because the line would come and get you. Yeah. Attila the Hun did? I don't know. Somebody awesome died of diarrhea. I heard this.

A killer. Like a crazy killer. Like a crazy killer. A crazy killer got took down by the one thing that he never suspected. Liquid shit. But I guess, what causes diarrhea? Is it an affliction or is it the byproduct? I don't know.

You know? Diet? Diet? Who died the coolest? Has anybody don't know. You know? Diet? Who died the coolest? Has anybody ever tried to kickflip a volcano? That dude who died at Mount St. Helens is a very cool way to die. It exploded? He was just camping out waiting for it. You think it was a suicide?

No, he wanted to research it. I think he got what he wanted and then just died. No, he didn't. He was camping out with it and the other guy fled. He was like, no, I got to what he wanted and then just died no he didn't he was camping out with it and like the other guy fled and he was like nah I gotta see this and then he just died that happens in

that alien movie that came out this past summer was it Jordan he predicted it nope that's what he did he was like it's about to erupt I gotta go

you know get there on scene and he was right it did erupt he was with another guy the other know, get there on scene. And he was right. It did erupt. He was with another guy. The other guy, as soon as there was signs, he fled. That guy was correct, though. You can't give coolest death to the guy that just, like,

bashed in the glory of... No, I'm saying the guy who died is the cool way. No, the guy who got out is the cool way, because he got to... No, he just, like, was like, oh, I believe this guy died is the cool way. No, the guy who got out is the cool way because he got to it. No, he just was like, oh, I believe this guy. It was like the big short. He bought in. I think that that shit's cool.

I think there was someone who Daredevil just died trying to scale down a building. But Daredevil, that's what you do. You kind of failed at your job. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't think that's that cool. Oh, someone just, yeah. I don't think that's that cool. I don't think daredevil death is like kick-flipping a volcano. It's like you're dying at your job.

Unless you intend to die that way. If it was the first time you ever tried to skateboard, that would be cool. Or if that's what physician-assisted suicide was. Yeah. It's like, try this shit. Yeah, you get a skateboard and they fly you up to a volcano. Just try this shit out. I wonder how quick you die in a volcano.

That would be, like, a good thing because, like, if you want to die, you will. But if you land it, you're going to feel so much better about yourself. What if it's over a volcano? Yeah. It's over the hole? Yeah. The mouth of the volcano. It's kind of sloped correctly. Yeah, you just hit it and land it.

It could happen. Like, damn, I don't want to die anymore. of sloped correctly. Yeah, you just hit and landed. I could have. Damn, I don't want to die anymore. I'm sorry. If you landed. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, it's permanent. You've gotten a new sense of self-worth for yourself. There he is.

You done sneezing? I am, yeah. For now. Allergy season, though. Or something. Or maybe the nasty mold in your house. No, it just happens. Did you guys answer the prompt, what's your dream car?

No. I don't think I have one. I also don't like just standing in front of that sign and just talking to it. The camera, the phone is always running, so you just have to stand in front of it and say your answer. It's always running? Yeah, it's recording. I wonder if they caught some fucked up shit.

Probably. I don't know whose phone that is. They definitely have the Mr. Sparky Chronicles. Mr. Sparky Unfiltered. Sass, you had head in front of that yesterday, didn't you? That's what you sound a lot big time i don't know what my dream car is i would say an old car but yeah you have to work on those at all times like you have to pull over and like know how to like just tighten some little

tiny thing it seems like it's way too much stress. Mine would literally just be any car. I don't give a fuck. A running vehicle? Yeah. Would you want one? A car? Yeah. No, I've thought about it.

Yeah. Subaru Impreza, probably. All right. I don't dream of automobiles. Maybe like an Audi. Really? An Audi? Have you ever heard anyone call it an Audi?

No. I think that's like a Midwest thing. Fuck, we're about to hear that all the time. Yeah, you are. And you're going to call roofs rough. That's a Midwest thing for sure. Oh, yuck. They're rough.

That's a Midwest thing? Get up on, yuck. The roof. That's a Midwest thing? Get up on the roof. What about warsh? Yes. You would hear that. That's a nasty Midwest thing. Or is it? I hear warsh.

That was West Virginia. Yeah. I had a social studies teacher in seventh grade. She had a mustache, but she said warsh. They just wouldn't shave it. Yeah. At least bleach it. She sees it

I don't understand the thought process You see it every day Yeah She was studying social studies It was a wrap for her She should have just become a nun There was enough nuns at the school Maybe the nuns

Were jealous of her lifestyle Probably Fucking nuns at the school. Maybe the nuns were jealous of her lifestyle. Probably. Fucking nuns. I had an English teacher in 7th and 8th grade. Very well liked. And at some point between 7th and 8th grade, I think she came back

maybe from over the summer and she had just stopped shaving everything. She had a big bush. Legs. Pits. Her vagina. It was quite big bush. Legs. Pits. Her vagina. It was quite a shock. Was she sick?

No. Yeah? Yeah. A lot of questions. Did you have a crush on her before then, though? I didn't, no. You never had a crush? That's not true.

I mean, I'm saying on her. Oh, not on her, no. Shut up, Mr. Quino. That's not true. I mean, I'm saying on her. Oh, not on her, no. Shut up, Mr. Quino. That's not true. I've had lots and lots of crushes. But that does bring me to the next question. What's the most irreplaceable part of an ice cream sundae? The ice cream.

The ice cream, the whipped cream, the hot fudge. That shouldn't even be an option. It's the cherry. It's got to be the cherry cherry I think it's the whipped cream Jesus Christ because otherwise it's just ice cream you can have

he has a point whipped cream hot fudge you can't have ice cream sundae without ice cream I caught you though you edited this question because it says

what's the most replaceable part of end sundae so you had you had ice cream you deleted it because you knew that the most replaceable part of end Sunday? So you had ice cream. You deleted it because you knew that. The reason I deleted it was for space. I wanted to fit everything on one page today.

Liar. Liar. That's what you chose? Liar. You want ice cream? Yeah. I would choose whipped cream. That's not an ice cream Sunday then.

If you have ice cream without whipped cream, it's just ice cream. Yeah, but if you have whipped cream alone, it's just whipped cream. If you had whipped cream, hot fudge, and a cherry. It's not an ice cream sundae. You're walking by, you're like, oh, that guy's getting a sundae. Ice cream, hot fudge, and a cherry. Why are you trying to fool somebody? I'm just saying, like, the eye test.

The eye test. If you're walking by somebody, you'd be like, okay, this guy. I agree with you, Che. I do think that's true. Thank you, Sass. That's why you're my best friend. We are buddies. Wait, but if you just had ice cream and chocolate sauce and a cherry, you'd think that that's a sundae, too.

I'd argue that that is a sundae. It is. I would just think that that's a topping. You just get ice cream and then you get a topping. Not if there's a cherry on top. If you walked by with just ice cream, I'm sure there'd be someone who'd be like, that's an ice cream sundae. Yes. I think it's a whipped cream, boys.

Dude, you're being intellectually dishonest. I think it's a fucking cherry. If you think about it, walking by someone and looking at the order. I'm not walking by noticing if somebody has a sundae or not. If're an ice cream store you're walking by looking at what other people get i'm talking about what i know about what i'm eating that ice cream store that uh used to work at scoop box yep they had an incredible flavor one of the best flavors i ever had main blueberry whoa yes it's unbelievable. In season? They got to be in season.

Maybe they're frozen from blueberries of yore. Very good. I'm not usually a fruit ice cream guy, but it was good. You were their first employee? Yeah, I was in the first crop of employees. They owned the produce shop next door. There was a bike shop connected to a produce shop connected to a flower shop. And I worked at the bike flower produce shop. And then they popped up with an ice cream shop, so they flipped me over there.

Because I sucked at the other parts pretty bad. But you can't suck at flipping ice cream. All you need is a good attitude. That's true. And usually to be a girl. But they made an exception it at flipping ice cream. All you need is a good attitude. That's true. And usually to be a girl. Big old titties. I'm talking about young women. I'm talking about high school age girls.

What ice cream shops are you going to? That's the youngest job in the world. Rita's and Harry Quinn. Mature titties have never scooped ice cream behind my glass. What the hell are you thinking? It's a Massachusetts thing. A lot of foxes. Creameries have mature women.

Oh, yes. That's a different... But like very mature. Like old women. No? It could probably be 40 up. Yeah. At a creamery. Kyle?

What? Your sister just published a new blog. She seems to be doing that often. Yeah. She did? For her. This one's about you and cocaine. Oh, yeah.

Well, she said that people are donating to her adoption fund, so more power to her and the people donating that's very nice yeah i'm excited to dive into that one me too did you know what's happening no i don't keep up do you prefer we talk about that or don't talk about that that's fine what's her adoption fund oh that she's adopting a child and and so people, she's outsourcing it? I guess. The kid's going to be like the Green Bay Packers. I didn't know if that was taboo. I guess she is.

Right. You can buy in. You can buy steak. I didn't know that was like a donation thing or what, but that's what she's doing. How much does a child cost these days? I guess it's expensive as hell. She's probably going for a good one. You could probably get like a black market baby.

I think she is going for a black baby. Okay. Match. Not market. Food. You can eat it on there. Yeah. No.

I meant for her to go to surgery. What did he try to? I don't know. Might need me to wipe for him. End things. His cast lost in there? Dude wipes is going to be in the replies. Yo!

This dude about to... You're going to need us. I didn't like the question. Hi. I think I'm your new best friend. I feel like... Can maybe we just put that adoption fund up in here and just get this kid adopted faster?

Or does she want to earn it through her writings? Well, I don't personally want... A nephew? You don't want another nephew? Yeah, let's wait until after Christmas. I don't want a larger crowd, especially of the yak ilk, to all be aware of my family. That's what I...

Well, I just asked if you wanted us to talk about that. Right. I've said that. If they want to go out of their way and find it and donate, that's great. But I'm not going to put it up or suggest that. Thanks. Maybe I'll talk to her, but I personally don't want that. You got boundaries like Jonah Hill, bro.

I respect that shit. What's up with him? I kind of missed that whole thing. Missed it completely? I saw some screenshots, but didn't really dive in on what the after effects were. Like, did he get... He has a baby with another woman now. What?

Like, that's all old shit. I didn't even know he was a father. Yeah, he's freshly a father, and then his ex surfaced some extremely old shit. Oh. And, yeah. I don't know, I guess he's in the wrong. But it seems like he set his boundaries.

It didn't work out. He found someone that's more within what he wants, and he's having a prosperous relationship with them. I don't think it should be legal to post private screenshots. Of conversations? Right, yeah. I saw what B.B. Rexha did. There was a big controversy.

Hers backfired, though. Hers did backfire, but still. That was disgusting. Yeah, that's super weird. That shit doesn't make any sense. I watched this documentary called Betrayal, and it's about this dude. It's a terrible documentary.

Don't watch it. It's so boring. But the highlight of the documentary is when they're showing the dude's text messages. Because it's just about a normal dude who I guess he's fucking a bunch of other people. And his wife is like, we have the best marriage of all time. But she doesn't know that he has like 700 girlfriends. This sounds like an awesome documentary. I am so in.

I want to watch it. And he's like fucking kids too. Oh. And yeah, that's where you kind of lose them. But you set us up. Yeah, there's one part in it where they're showing his text messages and he's like, they're talking about how he's sending all these girls like unsolicited dick pics. And they like wouldn't reply.

Some girl doesn't reply. And I wrote it down. Hold on. I got to find what he said because I thought it was so fucking funny he wrote it down longhand that's hilarious you dipped quill for this hey let me find this i promise you this is gonna be worth it what the hell i cannot believe you took note of that instead of a screenshot or fucking. I don't know when I wrote this down.

My goodness. How much have you been writing down? What the fuck? Always writing shit down. You're just journaling like that? Get a bigger, I guess, I don't know, you need a pocketbook. Mark Norman, though. He said, like, what was his name?

His name was Spencer. I want to see your handwriting. Only you could control F. Is this guy, wait, is this guy famous, you said? No, no,

this is just a, like, it was a, I think the whole reason the podcast, it was made because it was a podcast. A true crime?

A true crime. For the lady? He was sending dick pics to an of-age girl? Yeah, I think. He was sending dick pics to like his neighbor

or some shit and she wasn't replying and he replied. Oh, so she was playing hard to get. And she didn't replylying and he replied oh so she was playing hard to get and she didn't reply and he replied and he texted her again and he said like no pics for spencer question mark and then he replied i guess i know it i don't need to find it it's in here somewhere

he said no pics for spencer and then he said sadness has fallen upon my face with a frowny emoji. No. That's always how dudes who do that talk, though. That's worse than any other part of the documentary. That's worse than the dick. Yeah. And the underage children. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that too.

Sadness has fallen upon my face. This dude couldn't even covet the neighbor's wife. Failed at breaking a command. When you wrote it down, did you write down the sad face? I think so, yeah. I don't know where the fuck it is. It's in here somewhere. What the fuck?

Where the fuck is that? Can you open to a random page and just read the first thing? No pick for Spencer. Yes, no pick for Spencer. Sadness has fallen upon my face. Sad face? Did you write down the sad face? I did not.

I didn't write down the sad face. Shit. But it does have me... I don't even want to text candidly because i fear of like it someone else even like seeing it over someone's shoulder or something like that i feel like i don't even communicate candidly because like i i i always view things through the lens of like damn like what if someone else saw this shit like i can't be like... Yeah. What if the person I'm texting is in bed with their partner and it comes up?

Yeah, it's like, what the fuck? It doesn't really... Yeah, it's very unsettling. Like, seeing even the video of, like, how that dude Steven Crowder, like, communicated with his wife at home. You know, did you... I didn't see him.

No, he is. He's the guy who, like, put his balls on his wife at home. You know, did you? I didn't see him. No, he is. He's the guy who, like, put his balls on his intern's face. Yeah, and was, like, showing dick and everything. Did he put a dildo in his ass, too? I don't know if he put that. No.

He put a dildo in his ass. That's more than a prank. He was showing ass. It's a funny. Where the fuck's my dildo? Got you. In my fucking ass. Oh, here it is.

I haven't seen it. Why are you walking all weird? Your dildo's in my ass. Gotcha. But he's like this radio commenter, like masculine type of guy who... He's like an alt-right YouTuber. And they caught his camera in his home and he's like an alt-right youtuber and they caught his his like in they

caught his camera in his home and he's like whining to his wife he's like no no no it's like dude you are talking like that and then there's a way that you present yourself on camera and then you get caught doing this shit behind closed doors and it's just such a stark well she was like pregnant and she was like looking to she wanted the keys to go to the grocery store or something, and he was like, just take an Uber. Something weird like that. Can we watch it? I'm so naive to how some people act at home.

That's a thing on TikTok now. Girls are exposing how their boyfriend's tantrums and stuff. And dudes have tantrums. My lawyer boyfriend throws a fit because I don't make his dinner right. That's hilarious. All these people's relationships must be failing rapidly. Or they just stay in it,

and they convince themselves that that's happiness. Facts. You only got one life, man. God damn, Nicky. Damn, my atheistic existential boy. Nick, how'd you do on the daily dozen today? I had to double dip, but I filled it. I got it.

Nine out of nine. Yeah. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Fucking beast. How often have you got a nine out of nine? This is the first time. I can't believe I didn't get the woman in the mashup.

Spoiler alert. Baseball is the one I always miss, but this one was a Pirates one, so. Wow. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't get the woman in the mashup. Spoiler alert, baseball is the one I always miss, but this one was a Pirates one. Wow. Yeah, I didn't. You didn't get the woman? I didn't get the woman in the middle. I didn't get those, but it did seem obvious after the fact.

And I guess the final product, I've heard. What? The final product. What's the final product? The final product looks like Chief. Yeah, yeah. Lena Dunham combined with Robert Downey Jr. kind of looks like Chief. Kind of.

Kind of a lot. That's mean. That's mean. You be the judge. Pull that out. That's mean. No. Chief's handsome and that's...

Chief is handsome. Yeah, Lena Dunham is almost handsome. No, she's not. Lena Dunham's a stud. No, no matter how you slice it. No, it kind of doesn't. I got excited. Okay, it kind of does.

Yeah. Her eyes are appropriately set. That doesn't look like an ugly man. No. It's Robert Downey Jr.'s facial structure. Right, right. Let's see if we can get this. Let's see if we can do this whole thing.

It's just completely random. Oh. I didn't know this one for's see if we can do this whole thing. It's just completely random. Oh. I didn't know this one. Seahawks? With a lick. Look away if you haven't played yet. I don't care. Or watch and then submit it and skew the stats.

See, I don't remember this. Tess, you got this one? Oh, it wasn't even. It's Seahawks. It's Seahawks. It's got to be Seahawks. I mean, Nick. Come on, Nick. You got this one? It's Seahawks. It's Seahawks. It's got to be Seahawks. I mean, Nick. Come on, Nick.

You know these. I don't want to ruin the fun. I've done it. All right, let's not do this. Who am I, Brandon Walker? Truth. I know that one. What's Brandon been doing?

He came out with a video yesterday. I haven't watched it yet, but I heard it's good. Is this thing about Bin Laden? What about Bin Laden? There's an Osama Bin Laden card there that was worth $1,000. To a sports memorabilia convention. So they went to a place that sold

a lot of sports memorabilia. Some high-priced items. In one of the shots, there is all these high-valued cards for sale. One of them is Osama Bin Laden, and the asking price is $1,000. Che, did you get completely duped? Because there's that dude that makes those card videos where he pulls it. I think I have a Saddam Hussein because my dad gave me the complete set of the Desert Storm cards.

They used to have trading cards. No way. Yeah. Who else was in it? Like the Ace of Spades thing? George H.? No way. Yeah. Who else was in it? Like the Ace of Spades thing? George H.W. Bush. Yeah. Then like military vehicles and like generals and stuff.

Interesting. Yeah. Desert Storm. Desert Storm was fucking sweet. Great name. Yeah. Desert Eagle, Desert Storm. Good ass name.

All that desert shit fucking plays. Plays heavy. Ravel had a wild booth at that convention as well with all of his signatures. Did he have a... Who was MLK signed with? He had Rosa. We got the check drawer here,

so we have checks with substance, so paper and paint for the equivalent of $15,000 in alcohol. Amelia Earhart paying for nose surgery. Madonna getting a massage during her Like a Virgin year. JFK paying for the Washington Post a year before he's president. With a check. The ticket from the night Marilyn saying happy birthday to JFK. Let's go here.

A couple Rudy tickets from the Rudy game. The actual Hoosiers game. Jordan's, their Jordan debut. I wonder what's going on with him psychologically that he feels the need to hoard these. I think it's kind of cool. I think it's kind of cool too. One for the Gipper. Randy Johnson hits the bird.

Is he trying to sell them? I think he's trying to sell them. No, what do you accrue them in the first? Oh, he's just showing off at this. I think he's just to sell them why would he accrue them in the first oh he's just showing off at this I think he's just showing off I like how he paused after the Hugh Hefner one

because you know he looked at the camera devilish smirk he paused for laughter most devilish smirk after that one how does he have a Jack's college ID?

I don't know how you... He buys the shit. Yeah, but I don't know how you begin to even search. Like, what does he want? Does he just search? I don't know how you even... He's just like, oh, that's cool. That's got to be worth like a million dollars.

That's my skin color. One of his funniest moments to me when it was when he was like going back and forth with someone and was like i no longer fear death like you can say whatever you want to me i used to have an intense fear of death but i went to a therapist and now i have zero fear of death oh my god definitely still an ongoing problem i know that's why it's got to be linked to why he is getting all these worldly possessions to feel more intense connection to Earth and being alive. Losing your fear of death makes you way less human. Yeah.

Yeah. Say what you will of me. I no longer have fear of death. But also, yes, you do. Yeah. That's the only thing on your mind. You say that. I don't really have fear of death.

Shut up. Yes, you do. really have fear of death. Shut up. Yes, you do. I have fear of other people dying. Not really myself, though. Shut up. Dude, it's... Shut up. You're lying.

I mean, I definitely have fear of being murdered. You just... Because I think you might even be too young to even consider death as a possibility. I think of every possible health consequence. I mean, yeah, I guess. There's that. But that's more just like I fear pain more than death.

More than the sweet release. Nah, I'm scared. I want to keep this fleshy vessel for as long as I can. What do you think the guy who did the free solo, how does he live his day-to-day life now? Is he in withdrawal of not being able to do stunts like that? He can't even do it?

There's no way he can ever feel the same release that he's got from that. But doesn't he still, I feel like he's once a rock climber, always a rock climber. You're just going to keep on climbing rocks until you die. The whole thing was he needed to keep chasing a bigger high, or it didn't suffice. Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe he started fucking. What happened to the man on wire guy? Did he end up dying doing it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy had an unbridled joy. That's a good-ass documentary. That's the great. That's the coolest thing ever.

You think it's cooler than climbing the mountain? Yes. He shot a bow and arrow from Twin Towers. Wait, what did he do? With the bow and arrow? That's how he shot the tightrope across the World Trade Center. It was like a test line. It was the line that they used to fish the tightrope across with a bow and arrow as they snuck up.

They said one of the dudes, as they were starting to do it, he bailed on it. Remember? There was one of their boys. It's been a while. He bailed, and he just gleefully ran down the steps, so excited to not be doing it after all the work they did. They made this guy seem like he was a hero, the guy who bailed in the middle of it? How could you bail going up to this sweet event that's the culmination of all of your work trying to be a...

That's the equivalent of getting scared on the high dive and having to go down the ladder. That was probably... I mean, I jumped off Splash Mountain, so I really can't talk at the top right before it went down. I got too scared. The possibility? Jumped off of it? There was like a platform

with like an exit, like an emergency exit or something like that, that I jumped off of right before I went down Splash Mountain. Really? It's scarier than the fucking Splash Mountain. Yeah, that's what a lot of people said. I had to get rescued skiing. Really?

I was in second grade. They had to bring me down on the sled. What happened? I just went up too high. Yeah? Yeah, I tried to walk down. They took you down on the sled? Yeah.

They, like, buckle you in? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. But you were fucking a little guy? Yeah. I got stuck behind a rock wall at the Carnegie Science Center, rappelling down. I got stuck behind it.

I had to close it and wheel it out. You actually stuck? Yeah. How did you get stuck behind it? It was like a gap, and I just was rappelling, and I went crooked and behind. You got sucked into the wall? During a field trip.

It was a fun-ass science center. Yeah. Probably kids who died like that. I got stuck on that boulder in Joshua Tree. Stuck mentally. Mentally, because it was about

four feet tall. Fucking hate myself for that. What do you mean you got stuck mentally on it? I have a severe fear

of falling. Oh, on the boulder. I thought you meant you were like stumped by it. It was like seven feet. That is, I mean, it's a scary feel of falling. I thought you meant you were like stumped by it. It was like seven feet.

That is, I mean, it's a scary feel of falling. I'm not trying to fall off shit. Maybe if there's a body of water underneath. But I need that shit to be real low. Extremely low. I need to be getting down with that the way that I get down with some fucking high noons. Some delicious high noon tequila seltzers.

Are we locked out? Of that? Probably. Are you trying to crack in? Parched. I'm parched. Yeah, we're locked out. We're locked up.

They won't let us in to that sweet... Kyle! Oh, my man is resourceful. This guy has boosted a convenience store before for sure. Thanks, big dog. Send one over to my boy. Oh, my God.

Open it up. Open it now. Open it now. Explode. I knew tequila seltzer. It's a party every time. Yeah, damn. And, of course, Nick can enjoy them because they're gluten-free.

Only 100 calories. And they have, Nick can enjoy them because they're gluten-free. Only 100 calories. And they have great flavors. Passion fruit. Grapefruit. Lime. Strawberry. Each more delicious than the last. And you can get them in your liquor store, your convenience store,

highnoonspears.com, or you could order them at Drizzly. Nick's going to enjoy it. Why aren't you? Whole other fat month of summer to be enjoying high noons. August is such a forgotten month. People are planning for fucking September all the time during August. I already got my plans for September locked down. What are you doing?

Vacation-wise, going to Denver. Nice. For just like two days, weekend. See all the tings. On a trip. Tings per capita. Tough with like two days. Weekend. See all the Tings. On a trip. Tings per capita. Tough with moving coming up. Sneaking up.

Yeah, you guys are getting out of here soon. Yeah, man. Cannot wait. Yeah. Yeah? Never going to see you guys again. Oh, no. Oh, man.

I got disinvited from Chicago. Did you really? From Wednesday, yeah. I had something to do with that. Yeah, they said it got a plus one. You did? Yeah. Yeah, I'm out.

I hit the chopping block. No, you have another thing that you have to do, right? No, no. I didn't even know about the other thing. Oh, the other ting? The other ting.

They told me that I'm fucking back to the bench. Sad. So we don't have to do shows next week? I think it's not. I think Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Doing them in Shuck, Chicago. Shuck.

Is that a new abbrev? Shuck. Shuck. Shuck town. That's cool. Shuck Naysa. Shuck town. You guys are going to change that fucking city forever?

Oh my God. That city's going to change you forever. That city is not ready for my two biggest gremlins. Y'all are going to see my name in lights. Rest in peace, Nick. Chicago, let me give out a little warning. Chicago is not ready. ESA. My two biggest demons are rolling through.

Have you ever read The World is Yours on a Blimp? There is trouble to be had. Are you guys really getting a boat? You guys got to get a fucking boat. New office has a pier. Inside. Marina. Overlooking a vast sea.

Oh, man. Ilooking a vast sea. Oh man. I just got the chills. You're going to be rounding up tings. Forget about my two baddest boys getting out to a new city. We're going to get in so much fucking trouble. I'll make some calls. I'm going to call the mayor.

I'm honestly the most well behaved motherfucker on earth. Hell no. Not when you get to a new city, you're not. Oh, no. I didn't need it, if you can believe that much. Broken. You almost shattered the goddamn glass.

Case of emergency. Yeah, we'll take the keys anyway. That people know by now. People have been Pavlovianly trained to not try and open it. They know that there's going to be a negative. You don't like? Okay, there you go. All right, love it too.

All right, after work. That's smart. Not for Nikki, though. Well behave my ass, Nick. Rules do not apply. See, this is a little preview of what the... You're definitely my biggest rule breaker. Maybe I'm not so good after all.

Nicky clicky gone wild. Speaking of rule, have any of you guys ever successfully snuck into a pretty significant event? Oh. Snuck into the Notre Dame-Clemson game. Yeah, true. Wasn't that on the news? Did you snuck into that? Did a guy lose his job over that?

No, he didn't. He was a volunteer. Huh. No, he didn't even. But it was on the news. And the police, they did call my dad's house. But not their jurisdiction. What did they say?

They called Pennsylvania. And tried to have my dad call them, but he's a fucking real one. Were you really sitting with, what are they, the lifers? The people who... Like a seat or whatever? We were ushers. Ushers.

Like Raymond. You were probably nice to them, but did you lay in the background and be like, these guys kind of suck? No, we did the job with people. We actually wound up being very helpful. Like, they stormed the field afterwards, and, like, people were, like, bleeding. We got them the first aid. Oh, man.

No, I get so nervous even if I am allowed to be there. I snuck into a high school football game a couple times. Like, last week. Yeah. Yeah. One of those $1 tickets. Yeah, what the fuck? It's a thrill, though.

It is a thrill. I snuck into Made in America Festival one time. I jumped the fence. Philly, yeah. Philly. That was sick.

I stayed, I, um, I went to go see The Ringer in theaters and then I snuck into Memoirs of a Geisha afterwards. See, that kind of counts. I failed at

Kendrick Lamar at Fall Fest, Morgantown. Oh, I went. I caught. Me and my lightweights, we all hopped. It was just a very low thing and then the security guard just happened to be like an all-American linebacker. Did you get tackled? He tackled Connor. Shout out Connor. And he wrangled up all of us.

I know it was lightweight. It was the most embarrassing thing. Just spread his arms and took you all out with one spear. Bruce Ervin was security at the time there. I must admit. We were in awe at how athletic this guy was. That was a good-ass show, too.

I snuck into Sausage Party. I got kicked out instantly. How? Instantly. We were about to get to 13 Lives, whatever that cat movie was. Yeah Kicked out instantly How? Instantly Because we bought tickets to nine Or was it 13 lives? Whatever that cat movie was Yeah And they were like

We were like You just went straight to sausage party And they came back and they were like You guys are the only people that bought tickets for 13 lives What is 13 lives? Some like really shitty cat movie I don't know You have to go and watch it?

They made us go back and watch it Was it live action or animated? Live action I think I don't remember. You have to go and watch it? They made us go back and watch it. Was it live action or animated? Live action, I think. I don't remember. We didn't watch it. You just snuck back into Saucer? We snuck back in and we had to all sit separately, like in between families, and they never got us.

Was it worth it? No. I used to be the guy who would buy the ticket and I'd sneak all the rest of my friends in. I'd buy the ticket, crack the sneak all the rest of my friends in i buy the ticket crack the door for everybody let him run in when i got caught with the bowl the weed bowl one of my friends ran and then came back because i refused to run he came back he was like let's run and i froze couldn't. I had plenty of time. It is scary to run. Oh, damn. Wait, so those are the human?

Oh, my God. RFK Jr.'s wife was in it. Kevin Spacey. Nice. What year was this? Let's talk about pussy. 2016. And you were sneaking in the... I was working at Barstool.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I was in the... I was working at Barstool. You were sneaking into... Yeah, I mean, I guess I was, what? How old was I? Seven years ago? Fifteen. Yeah. Snuck into Obama's... Probably DMing KB.

I was like, we just got fucking busted, dude. Any advice? You got a fake ID you can send me? He's dealing with his own shit. Obama gave a speech at Penn State before he got elected, and we snuck into the press area. That one gets you shocked. He came to Kent State, too.

I remember he brought Hugh. He was alone. Me and Mike pretended to be press. We got through, pretended to be volunteers. You thought that worked? It was like so many hoops to be press. We got through, pretended to be volunteers. That worked? It was like so many hoops to jump through. We got denied by a bunch of places, but sneaky guys. Do you remember the first time you were like, damn, I'm a rascal?

I think it was pre-memory. Me and my friends, not buddies, friends. Me and my friends, sorry, not buddies, friends. Me and my friends, great friends. We used to climb on top of our school. It's always bow. I don't even know if he was there. We were really young. We used to climb on top of our school.

There was a way to get in from the playground. It's fucking bow. And we were on top of the school. And I remember we saw a police car pull into the school and then put his sirens on and fly around. And we jumped off and biked away. That's good. We got into a little bit of a chase but that was one that i was like he was not chasing you no he because we they brought in like support but he so he couldn't catch you he was in his car you were on a bike and the cop couldn't catch you because we were good we were going through all the we went to like the woods and then we then we got through

this path in the woods and there was another cop car just sitting there waiting for us and then my my friend turned around i remember him turning around he's just bawling his eyes out did you get caught oh we got away i stayed in the woods yeah for a couple couple days yeah that was that was that was a real rascal moment. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't really start breaking up. I was just a rascal in class. I would just talk back. Yeah? Definitely, you were.

Yeah, you were definitely a problem in school. You were like that one kid with the long hair, the only white kid in that classroom that was like, y'all ain't teaching the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Roan. I think that was like the first episode of Son of a Boy Dad. That was like I yeah, yeah. That was Roan. I think that was like the first episode of Son of a Boy Dad. That was like I made

that comparison that that was Roan. No way. Yeah, right? We talked about that like the first episode. Did you say it was me? I think so.

Yeah? Yeah. How do you expect to get through to these kids? You don't even care about them. No, I wasn't talking back like that. Just give us a book.

Yeah. Just a packet. I was trying to make other people in the class laugh. You would deliver the messages to the older grade without any anxiety. No, I wasn't cool to the older grade. I was always scared of older people. It's all right.

I'm still scared of the kids that graduated a year above me. Next class. I'm afraid of my classmates. I would just sit silently in class With my zoo york hoodie And bite my fingers Until they bled Holy shit Dude when I had to go back

I had to go back to my high school For the first time For my sister's graduation And I was so nervous Why? I was having like An anxiety attack The whole time

Why? I was just I don't know Just being there Yeah I couldn't do that So nervous I tried to follow One of the current wrestlers On Instagram And he didn't follow back.

Which seems super weird now. Yeah. You also don't post on Instagram like that? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. You couldn't see it. Yeah, I hope you... He would have followed you if you were just posting normal.

Sass, do you have a five-year reunion coming up? I don't know. I haven't heard anything about it. I probably won't get invited to that we should all go yeah yeah i'm a i'm in a polyamorous relationship with a bunch of men older men dudes how we doing yeah i don't know none of my friends live in my hometown anymore so i probably wouldn't go did you guys have five-year reunions i went to my five-year reunion. It was a cornhole tournament, and then we went to a bar afterwards, and the guy that won the cornhole tournament, we all went to the bar, and he just robbed the bar.

He walked in with a gun. Holy shit. I was still in jail. Holy shit. What a day. Yeah. That's unreal. That's great.

That's awesome. One in South Wheeling Yeah It's like the coolest thing Karen's pub Karen's with a K-A-R-I-N He robbed the bar He walked in He was like

Here's the man of the hour I forgot about that It's true He's a jam Yeah Why did he do that? I don't know He got real fucked up

Playing cornhole Showed up to the bar, robbed it. They caught him right away? Yeah. Wait, did he like spend all of his money? Spent all his money

at the bar that he wanted. Buying drinks for people. He bought drinks for everybody. Then he was like, fuck I need. He went out to his car and then robbed it. Wait, did he actually

let off like a missile? No, he never shot. He went in with a gun though and robbed the fucking bar. Everybody's playing darts at Karen's pub, dude. We were like, what the fuck? There's the man of the hour. Police should playing darts at Karen's pub. We were like, what the fuck?

There's the man of the hour. Police should have robbed you guys. Police came and everybody was like, yeah, we know who did it. You should have just said, dude, we'll just buy you a drink.

Yeah, everyone's wearing name tags. It fell off as he ran out the door. You guys refused to go tit for tat with him and buy him a beer back After he bought everyone a beer I don't know

Everyone would have owed him one beer It happened so fast And I was just like wait He left already They're like he robbed Like it was It was quick Like nobody was like

Shaken up or anything He just walked in It's so funny Armed robbery Did he like leave and come back Or he was always in the bar And you just like fuck this He just went to his car

He went out to his car To get I think a gun I was always in the bar and you're just like fuck this he just went to his car he went out to his car to get I think a gun I was like in the back that's so fucking funny you can ask Buddy Varner I think he was there I can't believe that that's so insane

that's so hilarious armed robbery at the five year reunion that's a good way to leave that's a good impression it was cool We got to catch up

With all our teachers He's robbing people now What are you up to What's the dude's name I never knew him Yeah I also don't want to say Yeah

I mean I also didn't know him Yeah There's the man of the hour Here he is Out of my way What are you up to legend What are you doing these days?

There's Karen's pub, dude. C-A-R-I-N. That's a darts pub. Why would you rob? Ew, that's where they robbed? Why don't you go down that road a little? Not that way. You go down that way.

That's not where you guys live. You see the shit plant and then the concrete plant that I worked at. How did two funny people come from this town? I lived right up the road in Bethlehem. I lived right up the streets, man.

This area was trash. What the fuck? There he goes. Ferrari? What the fuck? That's the post office. That's where you guys are from? Is there a lot of heroin? Yes.

I thought that said candy canes. I think it does. No, it says candy cakes. Okay. Just have a candy cane store. You're about to pass up the mural, though. The Jebbia's mural. You can get to my house fairly quickly. Jebbia's great ways. I think you two both making it to the yak is like

more improbable than Sebastian Telfair and Steph Marbury coming from Coney Island. Like, it like more improbable than sebastian telfair and steph marbury coming from coney island like it's more improbable than two basketball players right there's the shit plant i toured it that's the shit i was so obsessed with poop as a kid i was this character i had called dr poop and there was nothing else to do dude there's no other show in town three mile radius you could smell the that plant yeah that plant. This whole area smells like human feces because there's these open vats of human shit. Turn left. Are you going to be able

to? There it is. That's one of the... That's the shit processing plant? Can we see it from above? That's where they make shit. It's crazy what happens in there, honestly. The fact they take the water out of shit, then clean that, and then put it... Then we get to drink it. It goes right back in the river. That's so fucking crazy. The open pools of shit, then clean that, and then put it... Then we get to drink it. Well, it goes right back in the river.

Yeah. That's so fucking crazy. The open pools of shit are further down. It's right next to the teacher's store. The teacher's store? Yeah, it's called the teacher's store. They sell supplies for teachers, which is right across from the hostess place. And I used to take dates to the hostess store, because there was a word scramble on the wall,

and if you solved it, you got a free ho-ho. How many options of people to date were there? One girl. It was a town of about 25,000. 25? There's 25,000 people in that town? It's pretty big. It's very spread out.

That was just more of a lower income area. Right across the street from Karen's Pub was the house of the worst hoarders episode ever. Really? Yeah, people always say that. What the fuck? Why would you rob that restaurant?

That restaurant looks like the least liquid restaurant of all time. He had all his money that he won from the cornhole tournament. Yeah, he just wanted his money back. Give me that back. They should have given him free drinks for winning the cornhole shit. Yeah. Go. Go down. All right. Yeah. Go down.

All right. South a little bit. Big ass lows. Oh, this is what Tyler Childers is singing about. Yeah. All right. You guys grew up on a holler. Are you looking for the concrete place that you worked at?

Yeah, I know where it is. It's hard to see. It's between the baseball field. That's 35th Street baseball field and the bridge. I hate you guys so much. Why? I just can't believe

it's all real. I just kind of figured that you guys were from like fucking New Jersey or something like that. Just had great imaginations. It's just so infuriating.

It's so funny i can't believe that's your town i never i never had heard of nor would i ever get to hear of that town in my life if it wasn't for you guys you literally put it no i would never have heard of it and i went to rough i went to like tons of cities in west virgin Virginia for Rough and Rowdy beforehand. You're going? The next Rough and Rowdy is in Wheeling, is it not? I guess so. It'll be my first time there. Go to Karen's, dude.

I will. See where it all went down. Because usually we used to fly back night of. I'll have a night in Wheeling. What did Biz do there? Wasn't Biz there for a year? Yeah, he played for the hockey team. Yeah, but I don't know what he did for fun.

He went to the 19th hole a lot. He said he jumped a car. He said he jumped over a car coming at him. I don't believe that. But they called non-hockey players civilians, which pissed me off. It was like civilians couldn't do it. Not a troop. Thank you for your service, Biz.

Hockey players, can they jump high? I know they have strong legs. They're meaty. I don't know. But it's probably like they could probably jump from side to side far as opposed to jumping very high. Maybe it's all the same thing. Maybe it's all the same beast. You fuck with knees over toes guy?

What's that? The mobility, the fucking training guy. He's all over every social media platform. I feel like he'd be right up your wheelhouse. Keep that to yourself. Why don't you sit in silence? Bro, this is you. This is your life.

I'm trying to relate to you. I don't think we need to post it every time. Unless he's making money. No, he's making money, money. I would, Nick, but... You have something to do? I don't know, I guess. I want one more. All right, crack it open.

Get Nick one more. Throw one to Sass, too. No, I'm good. Why? Because I'm going to get freaking shit-faced tonight. Are you? Tuesday shows. Tuesday.

Free beers. Oh, fuck. What time does it start? Nine. I'm coming. Yeah? Yeah. I got to go, and then I I gotta go back to the stand.

You put me on a listie? No, you can just come. Cool. You just come and you say you're a comic, they'll give you free drinks all night. It's also free. I want the feeling of being, oh, I'm on a list. I'm on a list. It's me checking the tickets.

It's at a bar. In the full suit. The ticket taker suit. You got a red hat on Dress like a shriner At downtown social Tonight Free show

9pm Fucking CK used to perform there CK used to go up there Those hallowed walls Shit was in a historic spot 96 bitter beings Good ass CKY

Oh shit Louis CKY. Oh, shit. Louis CKY. Louis C. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Do some songs. Sing.

Sing? Sing. Why not? Fuck. Stop being so shy. We can't prompt him. Been listening to a lot of Sublime today. Nice.

Just today, though. How do you guys find new music? Discover Weekly. My shit, I ran through the whole playlist and it was Purgatory music. You know what? You know what? It's actually... I actually don't do Discover Weekly anymore.

Sometimes it hits, but this week... I do my daily mixes and Smart Shuffle. I used to do... I used to do Discover Weekly, and now if I like a song I go to radio and it gives you a bunch of songs like that song. Sometimes I'll skewer a festival

like lineup for bands I don't know type them in and maybe I'll get like one out of five or six of them that I'm like oh I like this.

But also I listen to the same four songs for like two months. I discover a song I listen to only that song so I hate it. It's so hard not to. Really I hate that. I hate two months. I discover a song where I listen to only that song. So I hate it. It's so hard not to. Really?

I hate that. I hate ruining songs. You're a type of like, you want to listen to an album all the way through, discover new shit. Yes. Extremely. That's because probably you are an artist. True.

You just want tickled. No, I just want to see what they were trying to do. Yeah. Do you think a lot of people still put thought into their track listings? I think so. Like their order? I think so. Certain people probably.

If you're putting it out as an album, I think you probably want it to sound... There's at least some thought. They're like, oh, this one should go before this one. My plugs in the industry say that they are all just trying to get a TikTok sound. Yeah. It seems to be, and it kind of works. It works on me. But then some TikTok sounds

are songs from like 25 years ago yeah that Mac Miller song off the kids album was like his first album yeah it's like now his biggest song

yeah also not even the best song on the album sound like Fantano hmm valid valid you're valid thanks bro I just can't get down with it I just don't like

we are we probably talked about that before on here it's his criticism just criticism of music being like this is actually bad music this is actually good music does he give a reasoning like a musical reasoning I'm I'm okay with being like, this is actually bad music. This is actually good music. Does he give a reasoning?

Like a musical reasoning? I'm okay with him. I don't mind. But I'm not like, I don't know hip hop. He said Swimming was a terrible album by Mac Miller. What did he give it? He hated it. I forget what he gave it, but he hated it.

And then he said Circles was phenomenal. And I was like, those albums are pretty similar in terms of style. Very similar. What makes a critic respectable? I guess if you do it for long enough. And I think it's being trendy. It's like liking things that are trendy.

That's why Pitchfork got in trouble for retroactively changing their grades. Oh, they did that? Oh. Like they gave a bad grade, then it was universally loved, and they go back and edit it, say they gave it a better grade.

Fantano does that as well. Does he? He gave swimming... Oh, yeah, they're trend hoppers. He gave swimming a 3 out of 10 four years ago, and then redid his review six months ago and gave it an 8. Oh, wow.

I believe he did the same for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, except he gave is a lesson to artists. I believe he did the same for My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, except he gave it a six both times. I could be wrong. I don't like being told why a song I like is bad. Yeah. That shit is...

Yeah, I think it's weird. I just don't... Hate it. I don't... You just said you were alright with it. I think Fantano's entertaining. I think, yeah, his videos don't, like, piss me off

because I don't know anything about music. People hate him. But also people make their personalities based around him. Yeah, definitely. I didn't know that people hate him. There's something of merit to any song that's popular on the radio. There's something technically like impressive or sound about it like even if it's not a genre you like like pitbull and fucking i just like if

it's catchy yes i like shit music yeah someone mashed up blade and grimes and i couldn't stop listening to it doesn't sound like shit that sounds sounds fire. To me, it was. But negative discourse just gets a little bit more attention. Yeah. Truth. Just gets a little bit more attention if you tell someone why something that's good is bad. It's warm in here today. Sweating so hard. Yeah.

It's usually freezing in this room. I can almost see your nipples, bro. Hot. Just kidding. Oh, we had to cut the AC unit. Oh, yeah. They're bringing it to Chicago. Facials next week. Yeah, we're bringing the AC to Chicago.

We're going to need it out there. There's just going to be way more people. AC unit's TJ's. He's taking it with him. Yeah. With the Nintendo Wii. TJ, that's your Wii, right? That was the game time room Wii.

Oh, okay. Because it's been on for like six weeks straight. Nobody's turned it off. It's my memory card. It's burnt into the TV now. Times are freaking changing, man. The times, they are changing. You're going to pave paradise and put up a fucking parking lot, man.

Mm-hmm. May as well. Knock down the fucking Amazon amazon put up a fucking fucking unbelievable man shit breaks my heart is nothing pure anymore i guess would be no no no there ain't shit that's fucking pure anymore that's's those guys yakking. Should we add someone else to the squad? Yeah. Think there's anybody out there? At the end, fourth quarter player?

You got someone? You got a finisher? I don't know. Who's a high-energy person that would get annoying after, like, the first two hours? So end with him. Who the fuck is he? Meekville? He had a wild weekend. Yeah? Meekville?

He had a wild weekend. Yeah, Meekville just got back from Utah. What happened to him? Him and his boys, which got to see what that crew looks like. Him and his boys take a trip every year. Quiggs called him on Wednesday, and he goes, What do you want? I'm in Disneyland. Oh, yeah, bring him in.

They went to Disneyland, and then they went to San Diego And then they went to Salt Lake City For the UFC What a trip That's a fun trip Oh wow He went on the fucking

Rum Springer You need to hear what he did though What the hijinks he got into He's like so nonplussed about Like he just thinks it's normal To be doing whatever he does And also refuses to pronounce The TH sound.

What's better, Disneyland or Disney World? I don't know. They say land might be better. No, world, world, for sure. World is more iconic. Land is like a tinier shit version. Oh. It is hot as fuck.

I don't know. Spilled my whole smoothie last night. He's to your right, Che. Che, he's to your right. God damn it. He's right there, Che. Can't find him. Che, he's...

What the fuck? This guy's stumped. Che! Yeah. I want to see guys coming around the corner, kind of slow. He's nervous. He's nervous to approach. But on the surface, he looks calm and ready.

Say something. Hey, man. I'm just going to say I'm finishing my lunch. Oh, he's working it down. I'll leave it. Oh, he cares. Wipes the grease on the back. Oh, he wiped the back of his hand.

Wait a second. That's a new one. He wiped the back of his hand when he put his shit down. Let's not harp on that, too. I don't want to get him down. We're lifting him up. We're going to raise him up like Josh Groban. You raise me up.

Do you want to talk about WWE? Oh, what? WWE. Is that English? Everybody check on TJ. You got a WWE ad? A paper airplane mine

you know I do why don't you throw me that vape while you're at it bro let me get a little twisted no why don't you let me go to fucking outer space

real quick no Nick what's up brother Nick Phil what's going on we're about to do an ad play WWE 2K23 for free this weekend on Steam from August 3rd to August 7th and on Xbox One or Series XS from August 3rd to August 6th.

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and Uncle Howdy. Oh shit. Along with Blair Davenport, Joe Gacy, Valhalla, and Zeus? Yeah. Z-E-U-S? Z-E-U-S? It's the easiest one to say.

Luckily, this DLC is included with the season pass and deluxe slash icon editions of WWE 2K23. Once you are playing 2K23 on Steam or Xbox, take a screenshot of your character and submit it to the Yak via social platforms with the hashtag Barstool2KSweepstakes. The best submission will be receiving a custom WWE 2K slash Yak championship belt. It's KB and Nick. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Wow, yeah. Look at us. What the fuck? Wow, yeah. Look at us. Good. Che. Oh, whoa. Realistic abs. Yeah. TJ and Zah.

Wow. Yes. Zah on the left. On the left. Portnoy, Katz. Oh, man. Holy fuck. Nate.

Nate. Is that Box? Is that Bob Fox? Aryan and PFT? Yeah. Thanks. Who devoted their time to Hank and Jerry? That doesn't look like Hank at all. Oh, my God.

AFC and fights? That's fire. Holy shit. That looks just like him. Damn, that's so fucking fire. Damn, Brax. That's cool. I guess me and

Sass are on probably a different one. Yeah. Oh, this is the Chicago expansion pack. Oh, there we go, Sass.

There we go, Sass. Right there. Oh, fuck it. At that point. You could never pull that off. Look at your shoulders and

triceps, Sass. Not that far off from reality. Skipped head day. I know. Head day. Neek, we probably could have let you finish your sandwich

because we just talked over some time that you're in here, but we're happy. Oh my God. Holy shit. Wow. Oh man, that's so awesome.

Dude, but we just heard that you went on a fucking sick trip. Yeah. I didn't know that you were a traveler like that. Well, this is the first time I was actually on a plane

in like 12, 13 years. You nervous? I was a little going into it, but it was a fun trip of me and two of my buddies. You guys do a trip. Who's the alpha? Don't say buddy.

I'm allowed to say buddies. Friends? People get really mad about that. Are you the alpha of the crew? Did you plan the trip? No, I'm nowhere near an alpha. Okay. It was two of my friends. Are you the alpha of the crew? Did you plan the trip? No, I'm nowhere near an alpha. Okay. It was two of my friends.

You got a boner right now? No, that's just the way my jeans look. Your jeans? I'm horny talking about Utah. Oh, yeah. All right. Oh, so Utah. You spoiled it.

Utah? Yeah. So, originally, we flew to L.A. We went to Disneyland, Universal, and all the other stuff in California for three days. Then we went to Utah for UFC that Saturday. Good card. Great card. My first ever UFC fight, and it was really fun.

291, right? 291, yep. Nice. Did anything go awry on this trip? This is actually a funny story. It's funny now because I'm thinking about it. So we had to rent a car in Utah. So yesterday our flight, I want to say it was like 5 Eastern.

2 o'clock, we're walking around, and my guy goes, hey, I don't have my keys anywhere. Have you seen them? I was like, where the fuck did you leave them? And luckily, like, we went on a tour earlier of utah and a bus driver had them so we're like oh thank god otherwise it's gonna be disneyland yeah all of our stuff one we've been trapped in utah or all of our stuff is just gone so okay oh my god rewinding are you a disney guy i'm not a disney guy what was your disney experience like what did you do i enjoyed disneyland but like i'm not like a disney hardcore fan or anything. I went to Star Wars rides that Robbie, Clem, and them went on months ago.

Well, a different one because Disneyland, Disney World, but I enjoyed it. Are you a thrill seeker? What's up? Are you a thrill seeker? Do you go to rides and coasters? Yeah, I like them. Did they scratch the itch? Yeah, the itch was scratched.

That's good. Interesting. Yeah, that's a fascinating trip can you break down your your two friends like do they think it's cool that you work at barstool like social cachet for having a nice instagram and they think it's following they think it's very cool it's actually is uh funny is uh sunday we went to go eat dinner and lunch in utah and we ran into jorge masvidal oh yeah i didn't post i didn't post the Utah. And we ran into Jorge Masvidal. Oh.

Yeah. I didn't post the picture, but, yeah, we ran into Jorge Masvidal at, like, a Utah diner or whatever. We got a picture with him. What was he eating? I don't know. I didn't know what he was eating, but, like, he was really cool. I told him I worked for Barstool. He loves us.

No way. Dave went to his party, and there was no women or cameras allowed. He said that. He said he loves Dave. You guys had a full conversation. Nice. What do you think of Utah? Beautiful, right? I told Mush and them I'd probably rank it the 47th best state in the country.

What did you hate about it? There's mountains. There's literally nothing good there whatsoever. No sluts. Yes, that's part of it. Great Salt Lake is probably the most overrated landmark I've ever seen. So we walked down there. There was dust flies, bugs everywhere.

I heard it's pretty toxic and gross. The lake just smells. This is like your biggest attraction? I think it's the mountains in the national parks. The many national parks. Isn't it supposed to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth? Yeah. It could be beautiful, but it was not fun.

There was nothing to do. And also, we also went on Sunday, and every place was closed. Oh, yeah. Because God. Yeah, they have to worship church. Damn. They're worshiping the Lord is what they're doing. They're worshiping a god.

I don't know which god. The one and only? Yeah. So what are your other states that are worse than it, you think, if it's 47? I say Alaska's 50th because it's not connected anywhere. Canada. Yeah, what about Hawaii? What is your top?

What are your top ones? Yeah, what about Hawaii? Top one is New York. There's no better place than this. Number one. Okay. Why did that sound like sarcasm? Because, I don't know. I've only been

to maybe like six or seven states in my life. You've been on your first plane in 12 years. Yeah, exactly. You can't give me like... So why don't you think this is a top six state then? It's the only state I know. Utah? I just can't believe you think there's so much worse than Utah out there. All they have is Stockton

and Malone. They don't have anything else. Did you look? Yes. You didn't look up on your phone. Well, that's part of it. Calm down, John. I'm always glued to my phone because that's my job. You didn't look up at the scenery. You've got to go to like Rhode Island.

That's a state, yes. It's a bad one. Are you from Queens? Yeah. Connecticut. Connecticut's bad. Connecticut's not bad. You never spent two nights in Bridgeport, have you? No, I've not. Yeah, Connecticut's bad. Connecticut's not bad. You never spent two nights in Bridgeport, have you?

No, I've not. Yeah, that's bad. Did you go to public school? I went to Catholic school. Oh, shit. Nuns? Yeah. Really?

What neighborhood of Queens did you grow up in? You want me to, like, dox myself? I still live there. I don't want to, like, dox. No one's going to go to, like, docks. No one's going to go to a ranch to look free. In a neighborhood. Yeah, I got to find Phil.

We got the neighborhood. We got Queens. 50,000 people in this neighborhood I got to find. But I grew up in Howard Beach, so. What is that? What's the stereotype of Howard Beach? Italian. So, white? White Italian?

White Italians, yes. Black Italian neighborhood. Everyone has a last name ending in a vowel. Lots of Tonys, Louies, Joeys. Not a lot of diversity racially. No. Is there a beach right there that a lot of people go to, like a popular beach? Or shitty?

I mean, I really wouldn't call it a beach. There's a park and like we also live like right by the docks i used to have a boat with my dad that we'd go on but we sold it so how big was the boat um well footer i'd size this room i'd say oh fucking shit the houseboat yeah holy shit yeah you're i'm just picturing it in my head i'm not giving you an exact size, but... Yeah, well, you don't want anybody to find it. You docked it, but you don't want to...

Yeah, my dad used to love it. We do have a large fan base of Somalian pirates. Yeah. I can't believe I doxxed my old boat. So how much did this trip run you? Like, was it pretty expensive, or was it, like, surprise... Do you want to travel more? Do you think it's a possibility?

I'd travel more, yeah. I don't want to put an exact amount, but it was a couple thousand. Yeah. That's worthwhile. I feel like traveling is the only way you can spend money but get richer. Exactly. I'm not the person that goes out every weekend spending money at the bar, so I have money saved up.

Would you be interested in a baseball road trip where you stop at different stadiums? Who would I go with? That's a thing. Chris Clemmer. You could do that solo, to be honest. What stadium do you want to go to the most? The most? I've heard Pittsburgh has a very nice park. Yeah, pretty good.

Great Diamond. Have you been to Cooperstown? I have been. What did you think? Kind of lame, but... Clemmer said it's like a top six. Clemmer said it was his best place on Earth. Clemmer was there when we got created.

It has the best room on Earth. What did he say? It was top two, I think. Yeah, top two rooms on Earth. The other room. It's also like in upstate New York where there's just nothing to do up there. What do you consider something to do? Upstate New York is beautiful.

I don't know what you wanted. What are you looking for? Utah just nothing to do up there. What do you consider something to do? I've seen New York. It's beautiful. I don't know what you wanted. What are you looking for? Utah had nothing to do. What would you have wanted it to have? I don't know. Walk around and do stuff. You can't walk around in Utah. You can't do that in Utah.

You couldn't walk around in Utah. You can't walk around. You want to go out. You're looking for bars, clubs. Exactly. They have that in Utah. I guess in Utah they close early and they stop drinking earlier. It's like, I mean, soft.

Upstate New York, they definitely have that shit. Yeah, but it's upstate New York. Upstate New York's awesome. Yeah. I don't want to talk to you bad about it. I actually have a cousin that lives up there, so. Yeah. Yeah, they'd be pissed.

Oh, man. So what's the next trip for you fellas? I like that you guys have a boys trip. Boys trips, I feel like, are so healthy and necessary and such a good bonding experience. Whenever my guys want to go on a trip, I'll tell them I'm down. Do you do something like whitewater rafting? I'd be down for that. Upstate New York.

Just tubing. Tubing could be fucking sick. What was the best of the three destinations? And what rise did you go on in Disney World Disneyland brother And what did you eat there too Everything's like a blur I can barely remember Were you wasted were you high

I got drunk at one of the bars But yeah but What kind of drunk are you Atlanta drunk Do you get Atlanta drunk ever What's Atlanta drunk are you atlanta drunk do you get atlanta drunk ever what's atlanta drunk yeah if you if you gotta ask you don't know exactly you've never even been close exactly um but the the alcohol used to be lighter in utah they used to have like worse i think the thing is like in salt lake they're allowed to serve because we were we were got

drinks somewhere in utah but it's less alcohol percentage is that it? it used to be it never been and I think that they're I don't know I think they're changing that you don't have any

standout meals or anything you're not much of a foodie there was a really good burger spot in Utah it's like Crow's Burgers or something I thought they were phenomenal when we were in California

we had In-N-Out and I thought that was god awful like extremely bad you thought it was god-awful. Like, extremely bad. You thought it was just to test. It was like, there's no way it's gross. I said 5.8. It was mid.

And I had people telling me I went to, like, a bad. Oh, so it was just mediocre. It wasn't awful. Like, you could handle it. You could eat it. I'd eat it if I'm, like, hungry. I said that about Whataburger. Yeah.

I thought it was pretty, eh. Okay. It was okay. Yeah. Oh, I thought Whataburger. Yeah. I thought it was pretty, eh. Okay. It was okay. Yeah. Oh, I thought Whataburger was so good. That was fucking gas? Yeah, I thought it was fucking gas. I thought it was way better than In-N-Out.

No, uh, Pink's Hot Dogs in LA, too. We went to that one, and I told, actually, DM Frank when I was there, I was like, oh, Frank,

I tried his spot, and he's like, oh, I did that for my 100th Raw Dog, and I'm like, I should have watched it before I went out there. Yeah, you could have checked it out. It's right on the strip. It was right by oh, Frankie, I tried his spot. And he's like, oh, I did that for my 100th raw dog. And I'm like, I should have watched it before I went out there. Yeah, you could have checked it out.

It's right on the strip. It was right by that hotel that we stayed at. Remember? He walked there. He said he did at the Super Bowl, yeah. Do you think Shohei Ohtani gets the respect he deserves? No way. I don't think so.

Not even close. He should be on a superhuman level. We should be regarding him as. From what I know about him. You think it's because baseball is less popular than it used to be? I mean, maybe. I mean, the guy's a global superstar, though. Like, he's...

Is he? What he's doing is so unheard of. I don't think people know how to even react. Yeah, like, eventually he's going to not pitch and hit anymore. And we'll be like, wow, he actually did this. It was really cool. We should have appreciated it. That's what I'm saying.

He doesn't get the risk. He's underrated. The thing is, at the same time... Who can you compare him to? No one. Deion Sanders? Babe Ruth? Not even Babe Ruth, because Babe Ruth never... He pitched one year, I think. No, he never pitched a hit in the same

year, I think, or something. What about Josh Gibson? Satchel Paige? You mean Bob Gibson? I think something. What about Josh Gibson? Satchel Paige. You mean Bob Gibson? I think I'm talking about Josh Gibson. Josh Gibson was the black guy. That's the Cardinals. Josh Gibson from the Negro Leagues. Yeah.

The guy who hit the home run out of Yankee Stadium. I read a book about him. I do. Okay. So I'm thinking of a different Gibson. Do I know more about baseball than you? No, because I'm just thinking of the names. I think I might know more about baseball than you.

You might. No, I definitely don't. I always get dominated in the dozen with baseball. I feel like no one ever calls you for baseball questions in the dozen when they should be. KFC did it one time and you actually ended up knowing the answer anyway.

You deserve more respect for your baseball acumen. Tell me this. Go ahead. Compare Shohei's batting ahead. Compare Shohei's batting ability. Compare that to an NFL offensive player. How good?

Like Justin Jefferson? I was going to say Mahomes. So he's as good of a batter as Mahomes is at playing quarterback. And then as a pitcher, compare that to... As a pitcher, I'd probably say he's around

like Matt Stafford level pitching. So that's insane, right? Yeah. Do one on offense and one on defense. It was like if Pat Mahomes was an all-pro cornerback too. I'd probably... God, there's so many bad cornerbacks

now. There's not many good ones. I'd say prime Jalen Ramsey. Which is phenomenal. Yeah. I mean, he would be the best pitcher as well. Yeah. He's not the best. He's not the best pitcher in baseball, though, is he?

He's pretty darn good. Jesus. I'm not trying to poke holes. I'm trying to educate myself. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think that we're underappreciating him. Yeah. Maybe we have like a show

hey Otani day this week I'm going to put people on to it let's run to the MLB store we'll Otani up one day he needs a day what do you think I'd do it let's all celebrate

Thursday we'll have some sake. Yeah. All right. We've got to pitch and hit, so we have to do something. We have to do two things. Like we should pitch...

What can we pitch? Pitch ideas and write a hit song. Okay. Okay. Hit songs, not hit bongs. Because I want Meek Phil to be able to participate, and he said he didn't even get high in Utah. No more hitting bongs on my show.

I've never been high before, so maybe that's... You see, you popped out your seat. That's shocking. I've never been high before. I did pop out my seat. You probably wake up and feel great. Yeah. I didn't have any jet lag whatsoever.

Do you sleep on a water bed? No. Interesting. Well, let's spin the wheel while you're in here. Yep. Just so you can be

part of it in case something nasty happens. Or if we go to Carbone, I want you to be there with us. Exactly. Bill's on you because I just heard that

you're spending thousands on vacations. All right, no Carbone. You're off the hook, Meek. What did you get for

lunch today? Five guys. Did your hands get dirty? Yeah. Yeah, I feel that. Grasping too hard? Yep. I feel that.

Well, thanks for being here, brother. Thanks for having me. Appreciate you, Meek. Oh, thank you, Phil. See you on Thursday. Yep. It's filled with two L's, correct? Correct.

Wow. My parents say I'm special, so that's why I got two L's. That's nice. Like Bean. Cool J. I'll leave the door open or... Oh, shut it. No, no, no, no, no.

Shut that shit. Hell yes. We got an SOS message coming on the clock right now. Oh no. Is something happening? Gotta be some shit happening. Are you 1-1?

Man, I like meek Phil. Me too. I also I like meek Phil. Me too. I also like our stool scenes guys. They were, Liam and Coleman. Oh yeah, they're great. I think that they were really tough last week when they were going around asking people about Barbie and Oppenheimer. Some people were coming up to them, like waving them away, being like, we don't even want

to talk about this, because they were so heated about it. And these guys just, to their credit, stayed there and filmed. Yep. Coleman wasn't afraid. He just laughed. He was afraid deep down. Well, he did it scared then, like Will Smith says. I've been looking for Coleman so I could give him that compliment,

but I haven't been able to see him. I'll find his ass, unless he's on vacay. No. Waste trip. Of all the things in life, one of the best has to be getting high whenever you want, wherever you want, without the paranoia of consuming some sketchy black market bunk. What's the best way to do that? With 3Chi, of course.

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please use responsibly boy trips are the fucking best. Got me craving. My favorite part about boys trips is everybody getting there. It's like, hey. The arrival. Yeah, the arrival is the best part. My favorite part is the roughhousing. Yeah.

Love that. That'll come. Love some roughhousing. Dude, one bad thing about my age right now is I feel like I'm losing all my friends to golf. Yeah. Like, what are you guys doing this weekend? Yeah, my friend is gone. Where are you guys going?

Like, what's a good trip to go on? We're going to go on a golf trip. Or that, or it's just like, oh, I spent all my money on golf. Golf, yeah. I'm losing my boys to golf. I've lost a lot of sleep to dreams, you know? And I am losing my boys on golf right now. That's happening.

Fuck, dude. Do we have the live yak out there now, too? That's not live right now, is it? Yes, it is. That's us. There's some delay. I don't fuck with that. Are you on?

At all. Hey, can you guys hear us? Not a chance. You got to get that shit off now. Hey, yo. I look at the TV. This shit is disconcerting. I don't like that one bit. No, that's super uncomfortable. That's when I realized my shorts were too high up.

I know. That's what I always realized. I adjusted. New New York studio is going to have us all in JNCOs. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. We're never showing thigh again. In Chicago, though, I heard it's all up JNCOs. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. We're never showing thigh again. In Chicago, though,

I heard it's all upskirts. That was the most natural reaction you've ever had. God damn. For the fellas, I mean. Wait, Panda them, just so if they look up at the TV, it's them.

Oh, do they already notice? No, I don't think so. No, they probably notice. Wait, is it on them yet? Not yet. Oh, I guess, yeah, it will. Oh, this is about to be crazy. It's going to be fucking hilarious.

Money, Tommy, Spanish, naked on the left. Another Boy Story W. Another killer Boy Story episode of the Yak. I'm so glad to be done with these forever. You know when you're craving a smoothie, it's kind of like a visceral craving. Yeah. There we go.

There they are. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Ha! They have no idea. Not a clue. Fools. Wait, there's a TV on the other side, isn't there? Dumbasses. Oh. Ha! They have no idea. Not a clue. Fools. Wait, there's a TV on the other side, isn't there?

Dumb asses. Oh. Ha! Wait. How does it feel? Wait. Morons. Nothing I like more than fucking with some fresh meat.

Chill. But yeah, I get it. Straight hazing. We gotta start hazing again. Bring back the old bar stool, start cracking some skulls. You were hazed heavy. Elbows on bottle caps. Make everyone sing a song.

Yeah. Do an elephant walk. Burrito or... I don't know what I was gonna say. Everyone eats a burrito. Burrito. Naked burrito, mom. Naked burrito mom. Naked burrito.

Where's Kim? Where's Kim's crazy ass banana? Kim! Where's Kim? Does she still work here? You must. Good question. I heard they were paying her $10 million a year.

Kim! Where you at, Kim? Is she still working here, though? I haven't seen her in a minute. I guess I haven't seen anyone. Do you think it should matter how much money you need when someone is paying your salary? Yeah. I think so.

What do you mean? You don't need any more money. Yeah, yeah. You'll get a big salary. Meanwhile, some people really need the money. People need it. They can't get the salary. Oh shit, I gotta pay rent today.

There goes half of the money. Wake up, wake up. There goes half of everything I have. The first of the month is like a divorce. Every time. You're not worth cuts in half every fucking second. It's the first of the month. Wake up, wake up.

We're paying that rent for everybody. I want to talk to Harmony. Who's this guy? Let's get his ass in here. His crazy ass? He'll say something about it. He does have a crazy shaped ass. He does have a big ass.

It was a parallelogram. For his age, he's caked up. Because that's the age where it's mostly... He's playing coy with us. Yeah, he's going back to the studio. He knows how to act in here. That's the guy that writes the questions on the whiteboard every morning. What's your favorite Halloween candy?

We hired him from ESPN. Forestool Comedy Network's really taken off in great ways. What's your favorite type of lunch to get, but only on Wednesdays? Yeah, I guess sandwich. At school press, I say, fire this guy. When NBA teams do that, I go crazy for them. Oh, yeah. I love to know.

I want to know everything. I was watching the Carolina Panthers try to solve a riddle yesterday. It got them good. But fools. What absolute idiots. I think Johnny Hecker got it. What was the riddle? I have cities but no houses, rivers but no waters,

water and mountains but no... A woman. It no waters. Water and mountains, but no... A woman. It's a woman. What? Cities? Cities, but no houses.

Is it like a map? It is a map. That's pretty easy. Riddle. Tell that to the Panthers. Tell that to Miles Sanders. Tell that to the concussed men. Yeah.

Tell that to the guys that have never been to a class ever. I'm just happy to be here. How do you think Adam Thielen is going to do this year? I hope well. He's like an I'm just happy to be here type of vet. Do you think he's going to do well? He's like their number one or number two receiver right now.

Yeah. Well, his interview yesterday, he was talking about how happy he was to be there, and he was shocked how good everybody is at his job compared to Minnesota, basically, he was saying. He's like, damn, Minnesota was like 13-4 last year. Is that like a decoy? Is he trying to throw people off? I feel like he's like a vet who's just like, damn, I don't know how many more contracts I'm going to get. But their receivers aren't that good.

One of their players said Andy Dalton was the best quarterback they've ever had. DJ Chark is their top guy. Not good. Mingo. Jonathan Mingo. Marshall. Terrace Marshall. Uninspired.

Anything Russell is going to do. Better. Better. Yeah. Hard to be worse. I kind of hope. I don't. I hope him and Aaron Rodgers suck this year. Yeah, Hard to be worse. I kind of hope. I don't. I hope him and Aaron Rodgers suck this year.

Yeah, that would be funny too. I just hope old guys just stop being good, new guys start being good, hard changes. Tom Brady. Who's the 49ers guy? Brock Purdy. How do you think he'll do? Will he start? If he's healthy.

Trey Lance looks awful. From that one throw. That one throw. But even reports from their camp are like, Trey Lance looks good. He just scrambled for an eight-yard touchdown. Dude, if you're scrambling for a touchdown in training camp, you're not doing good.

What about my biggest question? I don't know about y'all, but mine is Deshaun Watson. What about him? How is he going to do? I am rooting for him. He'll be better. I don't know about y'all, but mine is Deshaun Watson. What about him? How is he going to do? I am rooting for him. He'll be better. All right.

He's done the time. He's done the time. He was terrible last year. 58% completion. Morally, though. What about morally, though? I want the Browns to do well very badly. What?

Yeah. They're a hard fan base to dislike. No, they're not. I agree with Kyle. You're a Steelers fan. I don't know. Compared to the others from what I've seen as an unbiased...

Just the fact that they're like... This is our year. Every year and they always suck. I think that's an interesting quality. Yeah.

I think Saints are going to end up being really good this year. Oh, yeah? Yeah. They have a weak schedule. What good quarterbacks do they play? Carr is going to be good. Dak Prescott and Kirk Cousins are the only, like – I mean, I guess Trevor Lawrence.

NFC is bad. Yeah. Outside of you guys. I think the Rams could turn it around. I think they don't have enough talent. I think the Cowboys will make the Super Bowl. That's what Stafford we get. I think Dak will go off. What if their guard holds out, though?

Best offensive lineman. They'll pay him. He'll get paid. Did they get a new kicker? I don't know about that. Did they get a new kicker? No. I forgot all about that last year.

Yeah. They had to. That guy was replacing a hurt player, wasn't he? I don't know. Oh, that guy. No, that was Brett Maher. Oh, my God. I forgot all about that. That guy was replacing a Hurt player, wasn't he? I don't know. Oh, that guy. No, that was Brett Maher. Oh, my God. I forgot all about that.

That was insane. What is he up to? Real time. I'm so much fuel cold. Oh, my God. It's against us. Good memory, Sass. You're locked in.

What is Peyton Hillis up to? He almost died. Yeah, he saved his kid or his nephew. He saved his kid from drowning? His nephew? His niece and his son. Okay. What's up with Hillis up to? He almost died. He saved his kid or his nephew? He saved his kid from drowning, his nephew from drowning. His niece and his son. Okay. What's up with all these kids drowning? They did drown.

But they were drowning and he saved them. Correct. But then he in turn almost drowned? Yes. Josh, you want to say the question you asked me via text yesterday? In front of everybody in here? What question? Say it.

You ask a lot. You're a curious guy. You asked where I did fantasy football. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Where you did it? What he uses for it. Are you going to play this year? No, I was just curious because I used to do it on ESPN. I don't know if that's

what some people were still doing. Let's do a league. Let's do a Yak League. It'll keep us all together. I would love to. So actually, I guess I can say it here. I'm going to send out... I got to talk to Hank if I can send out an all-content email. We are going to do a league

and I have to gauge interest on who wants to do it. We could do a 10-man with just Yak. Let's do another league. You want to do just a Yak? Yeah. In a survivor pool. We could hold each other accountable. Let's do the draft live on a yak.

Yeah. In the last week. Let's get drunk. Have you talked about this, TJ? We've talked about it behind the scenes a couple times. Who would it be, though? Everybody. 10.

10 people on the yak. Us four, Big Cat, Kate, Brandon, Jerry, Titus, White Sox, Dave, Eddie. The guys that are going to be on the Yak full time. So we'll have Compton, Cheza, TJ. Yeah, we should do that. If you guys want to do that, we can absolutely do that. I love fantasy football. I know, Roan, you have proactively asked me about this.

I asked you last year, and you're like, no, I have too much other shit going on. I can't just put together a draft. Did we do it last year? Last year we did it. No, we didn't have one last year because you said you had too much shit going on. That's true.

Broke my fucking heart. I had to join so many public leagues to make up for it. It was so weird. You do that. You do that in like mid-July. Roan just grabbed me. He already did it. He already has done it. You're so weird. You do that. You do that in mid-July. He already did it. He already has done it. If my teams are... I'll start doing a late league

if my team sucks. You'll get back in. It's just fun setting lineups. It's fun keeping track of football players. I'm not ashamed of liking what I like or caring about what I care about. Let's figure out how we're going to decide draft order. I think that we should all go to an ice cream stand

and buy the Spongebob ice creams and whoever gets the sexiest one gets first pick. Love it. Most aesthetically appealing one. And we'll just love it. We'll go down the line. All 10 of them will be ranked and the ugliest one gets last pick

and then the hottest one gets top pick. The hottest SpongeBob. I love that. Because they all look different. Yeah. It's like snowflakes. And I'm going to miss everybody. I don't know.

That's just my idea. I like it. We could get a better idea. And we get ice cream. Yeah. We all have to open them live. I wonder where we can even get 10 SpongeBobbies from. And we get ice cream. Yeah. We all have to open them live. I wonder where we can even get 10 Sponge Bobbies from. You can get an ice cream truck.

How can we get an ice cream truck right here? There's always some around parks. There will be one. There was one dude that worked for an ice cream place that wanted to rent it to us for a show. Maybe a guy could just drive by. We could have a guy do a drive-by. I want to see if I can door dash. Yeah, I was going to say it could be for like a show. Maybe a guy could just drive by. Like we could have a guy do a drive by. I want to see if I can door dash.

Yeah, I was going to say it could be Uber Eats one. But they're all going to get uglier if they're in Uber Eats. Yeah. I think we need a truck. Yeah, but also what if we get

like if we have a dude that listens to the actor they're all going to be hot as shit. I don't think he's going to But no, you can't tell because they're in the package. I'm going to unpack them

and manipulate. Rowan's going to try to melt his you can't tell because they're in the package. I'm going to unpack them and manipulate. Rowan's going to try to melt his and move the eyeball up and then re-freeze it. But that'll make it uglier. You want it super frozen. You don't want freezer burns. You don't want freezer burns. Well, freezer burns is not aesthetic. That's more taste.

You don't want googly eyes. You want eyes straightforward. Freezer burn is more like a birthmark, though, which can be seen as beautiful in many ways. Yeah. That's how Winnie Harlow became a model. She has freezer burn on her face. Looks like a Rorschach. She's got freezer burn all over her body.

Who's this? Winnie Harlow? Can't keep up. Is she new? She's a... What? She's Kyle Kuzma's girl. She's a model. She's one of the face splats? Yeah. Yeah, she new? She's a... What? She's Kyle Kuzma's girl. She's a model.

She's one of the face splats? Yeah. Yeah, she looks like she got... Kuz! I see you. Looks like she got protested by PETA. She's got a face splat. Yeah, she's got a face splat.

There she is. Got milk looking ass. Yeah, with Kuz pretty much much I shouldn't have said that I definitely shouldn't have said that Go ahead and remove that from the show No no no it's love It's love. It's love. It's all love.

All love. Yeah, you're making fun of a supermodel for her looks. Like, poor girl. She's on the cover. She literally has Barbies like an American Girl doll. It's like her likeness. It was even the way you said it. Got milk looking at us.

I apologize. I'm just trying to push the freaking boundaries constantly. As a comic that pushes boundaries. The comic that's always trying to push boundaries. Oh, fuck. All right, get the camera off of me. Yeah, he's done his time. This is who said it. When the Winnie Harlow

Maybe called him a splash face Or whatever I didn't know I didn't say that That sounds like Mudblood in Hogwarts You're going down with this I was expecting worse

I was about to say I didn't even notice it on her Yeah bring other people You're not getting out of this Bring everybody else it was funny in a hurtful and bigoted way it was funny so how's it going to work when we all open up our

spongebob's like are we going to because they'll change over time do we just lay them out in front of ourselves? Or do we all take a picture of them? He could do a picture of the perfect Spongebob and make it kind of opaque and then we align ours to it to see how close it is to

the perfect Spongebob. I like that. We're going for perfection. I think we need to take pictures of them and judge it off the pictures when they first open. If they melt, they'll change. I'm we need to take pictures of them and judge it off the pictures when they first open. Yeah, yeah. Because if they melt, they'll change.

We'll take an immediate picture. I'm going to scarf mine down. And chew the garf of the mic. Oh, yeah. That flavorless gum. Yeah. That gum sucks. Sucks so bad.

It turns to, like, paper mache. Yeah. They're just, like, hoping kids will choke on it. I know. It's fucking nasty. I haven't had a SpongeBob ice cream in probably 15 years.

Sonic one sucks too. Actually, they taste good. I don't even think I've seen the Sonic one. I've never seen Sonic. I thought Sonic was like the OG. I've had bubbles from Powerpuff Girls. I'm sure she's been in other things. Yeah, there's Sonic.

Oh, God. Look at that. That dude's looking goofy as all hell. I'm sure she's been in other things Yeah there's Sonic Oh god Look at that That dude's looking goofy as all hell They all look kind of horrifying That's what I mean You gotta find the sexiest one That was Batman Blue Where'd he

Oh yeah That's like a black ice cream What flavor? Black cherry Licorice They just pulled the AC ripped the unit out of the wall

yeah see some of these are fucked up oh god that's definitely the last draft pick we gotta put them all into a

oh my god what the hell is that oh my god. We gotta put them into a database like the old Facebook and have people judge them next week. I feel like that's the safest way to vote. Can a fan vote? That's like, that would give me nightmares

as a child. Oh my god. That's cheese. That's gotta be fake. That's what weed will do to you like... That's gotta be fake. That's good. That's what weed will do to you. Spider-Man's not terrible. I think that's melted, the Spider-Man.

I don't... That's my bubbles, dude. That tastes... The beige ice cream is so good. I gotta try that shit. What's more important with a popsicle? The popsicle or the stick? Oh, it's all stick. If you see a guy walking down the street with no stick, you think he's just eating ice cream, not a popsicle? The popsicle or the stick? Oh, it's all stick. If you see a guy walking down the street with no

stick, you think he's just eating ice cream. Not a popsicle. You think he's just holding a Spongebob action figure. Meanwhile, if you just see a guy licking a stick with no ice cream, you're like, that guy just finished his ice cream. That guy just had a popsicle. I can't keep, I can't

get any of that shit because my freezer is not a freezer. Is it just a room? It's a mini fridge freezer. It doesn't do shit. Oh, yeah. It's connected to the fridge. It's the same temperature as the fridge. It's like a flap.

It's a flap that never closes. Yeah. If I put a SpongeBob ice cream in there, it would come out in a bag of ice cream. You're living, man. Yeah. I have two drop, like, deep freezers in my apartment in Chicago you could use. Well, one's outside.

Yeah. The balcony, the wraparound balcony. Yeah. Cold tub, hot tub. Are you going to get a cold plunge kb in chicago you probably have space for one um i would consider it my showers haven't been cold enough dude i was about to complain about it too but i was like is that my is that like yeah it's probably in the winter it'll be that's the most first world problem that i've ever heard it's like sub first world

problem it's like zero world problems like my showers don't get cold enough for me i get so pissed my water temperature is too pleasant for me to torture myself that's crazy that's what i want so bad is to be very uncomfortable for three minutes mine have been getting warmer like two minutes in like like it gets you know how most people's shower gets cold after too long? Mine gets warm after too long. Yeah, we gotta figure this out. All the plumbing work

that they've been doing since ancient Greece, ancient Rome has been fucking us. The advancement that they've been making every year. That's probably why

you go to the bathhouse. It harkens you back to cold showers of yore. That's twice I've used yore that way in this show, which means that it's over. It's over. That's the second yore. Yore, yore, and yore. Three different ways to spell it.

All right, let's wrap it up, and let's not forget Shohei Otani Day on Thursday. Yeah, I will bring in the sake. Should I bring in? Let's try to get him, maybe, let's try to get his follower count up. Yeah, let's see if we can move it one number. What else, what else, what else? What could we do for it?

I want to buy a very expensive item and give it to somebody we hardly know and see how they react. I love that. Like a phone. Yeah and give it to somebody we hardly know and see how they react. I love that. Like a phone. Yeah. Give him a phone. A 14. Give somebody an iPhone.

All right. Let's put together our money for the iPhone. Instead of donating money so KB's sister can adopt a child. Right. I like the iPhone thing. Donate money to us so we can adopt, so we can give someone an iPhone like Meek Phil or something. Put someone even more random.

Oh, we have safe mode up. Thanks. I guess. Oh, are we out? Oh, shit.

Shit. Bitch. Outro Music See you tomorrow. For those that hear this. Oh, we're back. All right, bye.