The Yak - Francis and Rone Are Pro-Fire | The Yak 10-17-22

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Two types of hummi???You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. Everyone knew that one. It's the act. I know. If he wants to come in and talk about it, we can do that. I'm on the edge of my seat. Can we get him? You might as well.

I'll go get him. Yeah. You don't have to talk about it. We can just have him on, though. No, I don't mind. I don't mind. Unless he wants it for his shit. Welcome to the act.

Yeah. Yeah, welcome to the act. On Friday's episode, we discussed Francis' soiree. A placing. When did you guys get invited to it? A place on Saturday. Did he invite you on Friday? Did he know I was out of town already?

No. No. It was like a Monday. Rowan had an invite. I copped the sympathy didn't go that's my rule if you cop a sympathy i say i'm coming but don't go yeah that's a way to get back at a move that is the move to return this shows them favor um brandon's coming back with his arms oh here comes no francis we discussed a possible predicament.

Francis even cracked a joke about it. A class divide of sorts. What's the difference between a party and a soiree? I'll tell you it was a soiree. Yeah, net worth. Oh, okay. No one said anything yet, and I'm offering this to, if you'd like this on one of your shows, another one of your shows. No, no, no.

This is the place. I feel like it's your incident a little bit. I also have no problem, you know, reusing material. Totally, totally. Beating something to utter death. Yeah, especially something juicy like that. Yeah, I'll probably blog it. I'll probably make some merch.

That's how it goes here. We foreshadowed this on Friday, saying that Francis was having a soiree. The difference between a party and a soiree is... How would you say it? It's funny. I would have said that turned more into a party than a soiree. It became a party.

It became a party. It was a little looser around the edges. I think you can be a party animal, but you can't be a soiree animal. No. That's tough. Yeah. You're right. Well, isn't a socialite a soiree animal?

Yeah, a socialite, I think, is the word for that. It's a soiree animal. But it turned into a party. It was supposed to be like maybe 10 to 14 15 people coming over for the afternoon and having you know some drinks and some food and ultimately doing what we often do which is you know as the party sort of whittles down end of the night turn it into more of like fun games like we like to play fun adult board games uh role-playing games kb and nick you guys have done done this with us fun my favorite party it's really fun it's it's cool it's

like an inexpensive way to have a great saturday yes um played secret hitler one time yeah secret hitler code names like role play whatever fun shit um and so roan and of course uh his wife were invited but the funny part is that when i invited them he was like ah we actually have these friends in town my buddy who's a firefighter like i don't know if that's gonna be okay and i'm like dude what kind of person would i be to be like wait a second you said this verbatim yeah i said yeah you're the type of person that wouldn't verbalize it to him but the conversation you turned your wife and she'd be like fireman we're making this sound like francis is pro-fire anti-fire oh well well it was it was perfect because we ended up having a bonfire and we were like making jokes about the fire escapes and he was my cornhole partner.

And then all of a sudden, you know, you kind of looked up like and there were a lot more people there at our apartment than I had expected. And a bunch of people I didn't know, including another barstool employee that I'd never met before who I only learned was a Barstool employee because he and his buddy were like, can we get next? He was like a friend of a group that my wife invited. But she didn't

know him, nor did I. Okay, so who's the Barstool employee? I don't even know what you're saying. You're exposing him worse by not knowing his name. He works in merch. Describe him. He had an orange bucket hat on. Orange bucket hat?

You know who I'm talking about? Fuzzy. An orange Fuzzy. Fuzzy? Well, that's a bad hat. Should I go up to merch right now and be like, if you're at Francis' party, come down? He was there.

He was invited. You might need him. The plot thickens. Okay. The plot does. The plot.ens. The pot does. The plot. He and his buddy were like, can you guys play? I'm playing with Roan's fireman buddy

and we're bonding over our cornhole. Cornhole. Is this rooftop cornhole? What time is it right now? 4 p.m. 4.30. The sun was shining. Last nice day of the year. It was really nice. One guy had short zone. That.? Still afternoon. The sun's shining. 4.30, the sun was shining. Last nice day of the year. It was really nice. One guy had short zone.

That sounds really fun. One day. Yeah. And we had the fire going, and everyone's vibing, good music. People are chilling, dogs running around, all good things. And this guy came in, and he was like, can we get an ex? And I said, yeah, sure. So he plays against us, and he's against me and your buddy.

Should I say his name or no? Fireman buddy. Fireman. And he's next to me. And I don't know him, but I'm like, oh, welcome. And then he just starts talking shit to me. This is the fireman or the employee? No.

Barstool. I'm teammates with the fireman. The Barstool employee is talking shit on you. He's talking shit to me before even telling me employee? No. Barstool. Oh. I'm teammates with the fireman. The Barstool employee is talking shit on you. Barstool employee is talking shit to me before even telling me that he works at Barstool. So we have fireman and Barstool employee. Maybe he assumed you knew and it was friendly banter. No, because he admitted that we never overlapped. He started working shortly after I got fired.

He knew exactly who you were. Yeah. Okay. Well, he's remote. I think he might be remote. Okay. Ah. A little bit remote. A little remote. A little remote Yeah. Okay. Well, he's remote. I think he might be remote. Okay. Oh. A little bit remote.

A little remote. A little remote like- Sometimes. Anyway. He was at your apartment, which is- Hulu remote? Which is three miles away. Yeah.

Right. So how remote is he if he was at your apartment three miles away? He's got to be in the office. He may not come into the office every day. I honestly don't know, but all I know- So he's shitting on you or the fireman or both? He was shitting on me. Barstool guy. Yeah. Okay. Okay. At this point, the fireman's a friend. I'm like, yeah, yeah all I know- So he's shitting on you or the fireman or both? He was shitting on me. Barstool guy.

Yeah. Okay, okay. At this point, the fireman's a friend. I'm like, yeah, yeah, he's my buddy. Okay. And so we're playing the cornhole. His partner, who is standing next to the fireman, my teammate, is superb at cornhole. A saucer thrower.

You know, a fine- What type of shit is he saying? I'm like yelling out this i'm like saying the scores after each throw after each turn and he's like this guy's not a fucking math guy i'd be like no that is the number and he's and he'd be like count them up and be like oh maybe you're right okay and then like and then if i see the worst word he'd be like he'd be like maybe you need to drink less i i don't know. That's funny. Just like jibes that are like, oh, if we were in a frat, this would fly.

But, dude, you need to like, what's your name? Yeah, yeah. That's why he's at your house. Yeah, that's right. Did I get you another drink that I bought for this party? Oh, shit. Not overly bothered, but just like, wow, I'm not sure that I go to someone else's house who I don't know, hop on the cornhole game against them and start trying to fuck with them. I'm guessing he knows exactly who you are.

He's familiar with your work. Does that lend itself to that? Well, some people are like, oh, he's a comedian. We'll try to joke, but that's probably what it was, which, oh, he's a comedian. We'll try to joke with Joe. That's probably what it was, which, again, is fine. But still, yes. This guy was totally fine.

And he was talking shit off the back of his teammate whose hand-eye coordination's reputation preceded him. Everyone was talking about how good this guy was going to be at cornhole. Now I want to see this guy.

This guy was fucking nice with him. Was he handsome? For the record, that guy was very kind and deferential so he good the actual good cornhole player was very humble he was and he kind of knew that by like being the guy who came to the party stepped onto the cornhole game which was a very low-key cornhole game and being the fucking tiger woods of it yeah not that sweet was he embarrassed about his teammates trash talking i don't know if he

was aware of it because he and firemen were were going having a fun time together but anyway all of that made me kind of a little bit out of my comfort zone just a little on edge where i was like wow there's people out of my apartment that i don't know also people who work at my job who are now at my home that I didn't invite. They know you. It's just like a little bit of a crossing of bubbles where if you didn't know it was going to happen or didn't intend for it, all of a sudden I'm like, you know, do I need to behave myself now? Like am I worried that another employee is is gonna find out where you know are they gonna watch you and tell stories about you well no we're gonna tell stories about you we're gonna flip yeah we're gonna beat them to it that's right i don't know anything about him i mean and

how did you find out you work together he told me 10 minutes into the game okay they kept thinking that we were we had the score wrong because I think they were fucked up. But you know me. I'm not going to get the score wrong. He is a math guy. And so he kept questioning. This sounds like something I would do

every single thing that this guy is doing. If you did it, every single thing. You would be absolutely entitled to do it. I'm struggling to find what he did wrong. It would be funny because we know each other. I wouldn't do it to someone. I know I would do it to someone.

I don't know. And you would have been invited. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. What do you mean he would have been? It already happened. But he wasn't invited. That guy wasn't invited.

But you said Sass would have been. Sass would quite literally wasn't invited. It would be because he knew a random person was tagging along. It would be because I had been like, hey, come over. Okay. Sorry for interrupting. Sass was out of town. Almost never.

All right. To finish this, the whole day keeps devolving. By the way, note, I'm not trying to throw major smoke at that guy. He was fine, ultimately, perfectly courteous left. All good. But it just, I had taken an edible. I was a little like, all of a sudden I was going in a different direction. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Instead of like gently melting into the afternoon, all of a sudden I was like. You're on edge. Well, hosting, you're on edge always. Yes. But usually it's from like an attentive standpoint. you want everybody to be having like a defensive standpoint ah this made me think i needed to be on the defense a little different edge which all lends itself to where this is going which as as the party boiled down to uh a nice core group. We had, I don't know, eight people.

We ordered some pizzas and started playing these games. And at this point, you know, 9, 10 o'clock, people are pretty banged up. And our fireman buddy is not grasping the game. I don't even think he understood why we would play a game. Really, I don't think he was like he's like why are we fucking doing it was a very simple game it's called uh snake oil you get cards you have to try to pitch someone a product that you combine two of the words and and and it you know just a very easy word

association game makes people laugh it's meant to be light-hearted and uh he just was like kept thinking that you had to you get seven cards and he was trying to tell a story that involved all seven cards we're like no you just used two and he was like don't fucking tell me what oh yes yes yes true and by the way so this is where i was like, I knew this day was heading. There was a slow moving train coming towards an ammo depot. And I saw all of this converging. And I was like, I knew this night was going to end kind of in flames of some kind. And it had all started with the cornhole thing.

And sure enough, you know, he keeps not participating. At one point, I had my come to Jesus moment with him where I said, the game is fun if you buy in. You got to buy in. Can you buy in? And you were trying to cheerlead that. And he was like, yeah, yeah, I can buy in. I can buy in. And I was like, yeah i can buy it i can buy in and i was

like all right great but he still he just couldn't get over the hump of being like this isn't cool i don't want to look cool whatever he's fucked up and then at one point he turned to me keep mind there's like seven people it's low-key he turns to me and he goes you've been an awesome host today really thank you so much i was like he goes your wife on the other hand little little over the top what oh yes no to you me and my wife everybody everybody there in front of her everybody there oh no started off so good i was gonna say that employee didn't do anything wrong yeah

there's a little red herring yeah yeah he said that and we all we all like i was like wait a second record skip you know way worse. It's way worse than you saw. I was like, what? Because I wanted him to have an opportunity, and you and I had the same exact thought, which was like, he's trying to be funny. He's trying to be funny is what I thought. Is there a punchline that will solve this for him?

Like we all laugh and go back to playing the game and he buys into the game. Just let me think. Does he have some magic to pull himself out of the utter bear trap that he has just set? Because she had been nothing but a great host the entire time. She's making cocktails. There were two types of hummus and they looked, it was like homemade.

They were homemade. I watched her make the hummus. Homemade hummus. I love hummus. A little red. The one was spicy. I love hummus. They were fluffy hummus.

Really fluffy, just these light hummuses. She was making cocktails. What were you dipping into the hummus? Oh, cheese. Cucumber. Bread. Eat a bread. Carrots.

Freshly chopped cucumbers. Cucumbers? Thick, light, juicy cucumbers. You guys remember the accoutrement my wife likes to lay out when you guys come over? Which makes you feel good when you're getting fucked up, too. You guys made fun of her accoutrement the last time. She created a board, and in the middle middle it was all sorts of amazing cheeses and things and in the middle there were just these pistachios that the one the one thing that had come from like a bag and you two kept being like these are the best pistachios i've ever had

which was very funny but but that was before she was your wife. Yeah. I would never think that. Because you wouldn't have even been able to say, but your wife, anything at that time. Not at all. Fiance is clunky. I love how you're able to look at most of the people in this room and say, you know exactly what my house is like. You know what it's like being invited to a party. You just never look at Sass, Kate, or me at all. You guys are all welcome. I don't know that that's true.

We've already proven that you won't invite Sass. Nobody would invite Kate anyway. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Brandon, don't group me into this. I didn't invite him because I knew he was in Austin. I was in Austin. And I should have extended an invite. I'm sorry about that.

Honestly, it was like a very low-key thing. That's better than an invitation because he wouldn't have gone. Yeah. Correct. Well, now that I know that, I'll never invite you.-key thing. That's better than an invitation because he wouldn't have gone. Yeah. Correct. Well, now that I know that, I'll never invite you. Oh, shit. That's not right. You don't deserve an invitation.

I brought my son to you the other day. Yeah, that is true. I brought my son. I brought my 12-year-old son and gave him to you. I adored your son. Give me your boy. Give me my boy. My firstborn son.

He gave you his son. That is game changing. Yeah. That changes everything. You knew there was a party later that day. Yeah. Right. This was the day you had it.

You gave a boy the day of? Oh, okay. All right. I thought you said Friday. You think Tommy would have wanted to play games? Tommy loves games. Tommy would have crushed the games. Okay.

Next time we have a party everyone's invited fuck's sake this is the exact same last time i worked here at a birthday party and everyone made that into a fucking okay so the fireman said what he said he said what he said he gave him a chance ron and i were like waiting and he didn't have it he just said it again question i go what he goes yeah your wife is a little over the top. God, what did your wife say? She was like, what? Yeah, what?

Was there eye contact with you and Rowan at this point? Yes, the whole time. I was like, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's a terrible role for Rowan to be. Way worse than you. I was trying to dig him out and I was like,

he's trying to be funny. Like, you're trying to be funny, right? Like, I was trying to, like, you're trying to be funny. In order for that to have worked, he then needed to be funny. But i was trying to like you're trying that in order for that to have worked he then needed to be funny yeah but he had proven with the game that he was kind of like one track mind like he wasn't going to jump off the track and be like i'm on this different track right now so he was he was tracked in locked in so francis he was a guy at a bar who was just

trying to get kicked out of a bar basically i i would say which i think i've done with him at bars before to like try to get kicked out of the bar this is yeah yeah which is one thing but it's also like okay if you're in a intimate setting at someone's home you've been there for hours at this point experiencing their fluffy hummus there was like a garnish on top of the hummus i don't know there were sprigs of some of the hummus. I don't know. There were sprigs of something. Small diced red onion. I don't know. It was sublime.

I don't know. I would be so off guard. I don't know if I could kick him out. Yeah. I didn't know what to do, but my wife was like. Warning shot had almost been fired. You were like, during the game, I think it was like, if you keep doing this, I might have to ask you to go. I didn't say it.

I didn't go. I didn't spell it out for him. But certainly my tone was like, dude, you have become intolerable. And unless you can... Oh, no. There was a lot more building up to this. He was on his work.

He was trying to destroy the party. That is... And there wasn't like, it wasn't like a party to destroy the party. That is. And it wasn't like a party to destroy. He was just fucked up. I mean, he wasn't like this while he was playing cornhole. He got fucked up and was on his worst behavior. So what's the protocol if the guy you brought gets kicked out? Do you go too?

They were like, you can stay, stay. Keep playing the game. I thought I was thriving in the game. I thought that I was giving good answers. It's a fun game. I want to play it. Also, Ron, you were winning. I hadn't won yet, but I also think I was being docked for the company that I kept. I think we can't let him win.

This would reinforce his negative behavior in a positive way. He's very well suited. I would say that, Roan, there's nobody who's got better tools for that game than Roan. It was good fun. We were having good fun. But they were like, stay, stay. He was like, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And I got up with him and I was like, no, I'll take him home.

We'll get on out of here. My wife was like, I don't even know what she said. I think she said she would take a shit on his face. But maybe she said that after. I don't think she said that to him. Not to him. She got upset. You were like, no, no, we're good.

And then you're like, I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Then we hit the road. And it was like, it's funny from uh my perspective is uh you know how people with like um autism like mask mask their autism by learning traits of like uh regular yeah that is uh that is not something i knew there's something called masking with autism that people like pretend that they have that, you know, they just learn societal norms and they power through what's going on. I think that I have that with being a scumbag. And it's like deep down I am, dude. And it's and it's all there and all the signs are there. And everything about me and all my friends.

And it's just the whole time I'm just like, I can pretend to be good at the game. I can pretend to have good conversations. But deep down, I'm spilling hummus on my shirt. Fucking making an absolute mess. Defluffing the hummus. Yeah, I was deflating the hummus. Deep down, dude, I'm a fucking scumbag, dude. And it resonates through the company I keep.

I've seen you. I think peak Roan scumbag was when we were at the Yankees game. Yeah, yeah. That was like Roan and his ultimate element. And I've since had to. Talking shit to every single person. That behavior is not acceptable. I'll have to mask that.

I'll have to like turn that down. And like when I'm around those guys, I can't be like that because the company that I'm keeping. So on the outside, you were like, okay, well, I'm going to get this guy out of there. But on the inside, were you actually kind of cheering his scumbag? I wasn't cheering for him, but it was, Kate, you'd appreciate this, so awkward that I was almost gleeful. I was like, oh, my God. I cannot believe how awkward this is. If you're picking the

exact wrong stone to step on every single time, and it was just, like you said, a slow motion train wreck where it was like, oh my God, is this train going to just fucking wreck like this? It is. It really is. Oh my God.

Look at this. It is so crazy really is. Oh my God. Look at this. It is so crazy. I feel like that line could have worked in like a different setting. But like... You know, I'm Italian, guys.

I'm with your wife. Yeah, yeah. If we knew him... But also, if it wasn't more yards of bleach. You guys playing a game at a table. Yeah.

The night had wound down. That is just so uncomfortable. And the bedding are sitting there and Graham's sitting there. Yeah, yeah. Well, did he go quietly into the night with you down that is just so uncomfortable sitting there and graham sitting yeah yeah well did he go quietly into the night with you then or was he did you he was credit to be a fly on the wall probably right yeah he was like quietly got up they walked out it was all good but i couldn't help trying to get kicked out i couldn't help but wonder, what if he hadn't? Left?

What if he, when I was like, respectfully, I think you should probably leave. What if he'd been like, go fuck yourself? Make me. Then what? I ain't leaving. Where are we? Where are we at that point? He insulted my wife in our home.

He's not abiding. Yeah, you'd never, I mean, I don't think you'd ever get to that. How long were you running through that in your head? Shower thoughts? Just being like, I'll fuck you up. No, no, because I'm going to fucking rip your head off. I would have ripped my shirt off. I'm lucky in that, to your point about the setting,

it was like the setting lent itself to a more rational response. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was dead quiet. We're in our home. I'm not going to start fucking rolling around breaking our furniture with this guy. I would have loved that. Oh, my God. The books are color-coded in his home.

Imagine toppling his color-coded bookshelf. It would be a disaster. What are we talking about? Silently putting it on the silently after they yeah i kind of wish that happened everywhere funny he's gonna come back and like put a fire hydrant where you park and also most importantly roan is a good enough and long enough friend that I don't want to create a problem with a friend of his. Well, you were even like, I won't even tell the story. I was like, dude, you got to tell the story.

It's like you're like it happened to you. You know what I mean? Like you could happen to us. It'd be way like way weirder to be like, remember that time that fucking thing happened? Yeah, but like in my mind all day sunday i'm i'm thinking man i bet roan's really ashamed and only to find out you were fucking rooting for this to happen oh man no no no um no i i because i didn't i didn't want to i didn't want you to be mortified and and i didn't want you to in some yeah in some ways i was just like i i more than

more than even you i felt i felt bad for your wife because she had been nothing but a gracious host the entire time. It was just so nice and had all these people in her home and painstakingly made it a good time for everybody at every turn. She did literally nothing to deserve that. She made the hummus fluffy. That's tough to do. When you guys left, did he ever go like, well, fuck that guy? No, no, no. Have you talked to him since?

Yeah. He went back home. He feels terrible about it. He actually wrote me a DM, which I'll read. Oh. Wow. I haven't responded to because... This is insane.

This is like the scene in Goodfellas where he's like, you're a funny guy. But it's like if they didn't laugh after that. They just killed each other instead. He goes, hey Francis, this is Blank from last night. Wanted to thank you and your wife again for having me and apologize for running my mouth towards the end of the night there.

Appreciate you putting me in my place. Sorry again, dude. That's hard to do. It's perfectly lovely. There's no excuse in that i like that he was just like yeah i did it yeah yeah it was uh it was it was it was as it was as like mathematic of a of a negative encounter and removal that you could have yeah almost like it was calculated yeah and i wasn't mad but again i by the way to your point i was glad to hear you say what you just said that there was like this inner scumbag wanting to watch it

because the one thing i kept returning to was as i saw him getting worse and worse submarining the game like throwing the cards out Being like cock balls Just being a total child And getting drunker and drunker I was like I'm surprised Roan didn't Want to remove him Sooner

Why does Roan keep giving him shots I was a little like Because And I was fucked up too at that point But I was like I don't because. Yeah, yeah. Well, I was, and I was fucked up too at that point, but I was like, I don't even know, locked in on the game or I was trying to. And I think, dude, it reminded me of my parents fighting, dude. And I think usually in situations like that, I would, I wouldn't like hard intervene.

Like, I think that I was trying to balance the situation through playing the game well maybe or like levity of my own or something like that. And I probably – and I also did not think it would get to him. I thought he was just going to play the game like shittily. We'd finish a round or two. And I could tell that we – like it was time. It was like about time to go. But I didn't

think that it would come to such a calamitous end that it would come to such a head like that and uh it was uh yeah it was i don't know if you get a second win to the party it gives you guys something to talk about i mean it was probably the juiciest and easiest shit talking session as soon as we're out of there there was like yeah like common enemy believe that fucking guy type of thing yeah it was uh no yeah it was it was it wasn't a massive pile on i mean it was just sort of a general confusion uh because i i can't say that i've ever experienced that i've never oh yeah what i've ever had to kick someone out of my house. Yeah, yeah. And I've never had my wife be insulted because we've only been married a month. But, like... I think Rowan and I are on the same page.

Like, I was, like... I have my wrestling friends, and their sense of humor when they get drunk, they're not, like, cerebral enough to use words. So, it just turns into general rudeness. Yeah. And you're kind of... You kind of get used to it. But then when you see them only twice a year, you're oh shit like this is a problem you revert to it but i'm

out with you matt and that's my that's my click mechanism i'm telling you to it too i don't want to be in his position where i have to police my friends who i barely see of course and i get that and and if i had a group of wrestling buddies that my wife knew and one of them said that to her again i'm sure it's like it goes differently because we just didn't we didn't know him pray him like punchline today was the first you got this you got this like you feel like it's a simple like oh no i'm fucking around would have yeah just cleared the whole thing people like ah whatever be like that was weird Or if he pulled like a little topper dreidel and like put it underneath of her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why don't you look down? He had also, he also had said like, my wife was the one who suggested we play the game and she loves the game. And he had halfway through the game been like,

you guys can't actually seriously like this game. Oh. He had kind of been like, this game is super gay, like, blah, blah, blah. And we were trying. I get what you did. I was with you.

It's like, let's ignore it and hope that it smooths out. Yeah, or let all of our, like, kind of cooler heads, like, trying to play the game be the energy that kind of takes over. But the energy could not be wrangled. It was a wild horse and uh we got him out we got him out the barn luckily it was all good not the end of the world i thought yeah but it was uh it was just like something when something so juicy happens in your social life it's like oh my fucking god because you are it's like all these and mostly mortified i'd say was my emotion but uh it's just

like holy fuck that was something even like coming over to like talk to you this morning and be like god damn like how about that one yeah i mean that was a that that was a wild one i would like to know more about the uh conversations that occurred between you and the bennetts after the after this happened good question yeah i imagine the shit-talking was insane. Probably tremendous. Yeah. I mean, it's the easy layup line. Graham started. Yeah, you got Graham going.

I mean, first of all, Graham Bennett might be, like, the chillest dude I've ever met in my entire life. And he's also huge. Massive. Played fucking linebacker at the University of San Diego.

I thought he was, like, I would assume basketball. No i thought he was either was doing basketball uh no tall and he was like 50 pounds of muscle and beef heavier and uh so i i also knew like that was my thought was if if for some reason your buddy had been like make me oh you're gonna get graham to fight him graham would have separated it he would have like i would have separated it. He would have like... I would have said that. I think Rowan would have had it. I don't think he would have. I think he would have been like...

He would have challenged you to a fight. Rowan would have... I would have taken him by his chest and walked him out. He just said he likes watching the world burn. No, no, no. Not like that though. I was like... A seasoned man. There's no way that I would let you guys brawl out in the house. Like, no, no. Not like that, though. I was like... A seasoned man. Yeah. There's no way that I would

let you guys brawl out in the house and be like, whoa! That was disrespectful. Let them go. They just sorted out. Graham, are you going to let my friend do this? Yeah. No, no. I definitely would have... You find out Roan has a history of bringing this guy

to all his friends' houses because this is what he likes to do. The idea of everyone turning to Graham. Like, are you going to do something, Graham? Graham's the police. And also, Graham is sober, and so I knew he would be, like, the most level-headed person. Sober? Yeah.

You guys would have never touched one another. You guys would have never, ever, ever gotten to that. And the fact that it even got to the, you know what I mean? I wasn't mad. You were flabbergasted. I was like, this has happened. There's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. We need to solve it as quickly and as cleanly as possible.

Gently, I'm going to ask him to leave. The difference between a party and a party, you get fucking pissed. I just worry you get flabbergasted. Your monocle flies off. I didn't know. I think I thought when I was in West Virginia for Rough and Roundy that me and Graham were getting hammered together at the bar. Who doesn't drink?

It must have been getting shit-faced and just talking to him. He doesn't drink. He must have just been getting shit-faced and just talking to him. We're so fucked up. He's so nice and he'll just drink NAs and be like a gracious listener. So then everyone left. Then it was just the four of us.

This was my first time meeting Graham. It was Alex's first time meeting my wife. It was Alex's first time meeting my wife. And it was just very chill. But not like in the aftermath of catastrophe. More like, you know, we knew the night was close to an end. We played a couple rounds of a game and laughed about it. But there wasn't like a, can you believe that monster?

Right. You know, because again, he had been well behaved for 99% of the party. It was probably just, fuck that dude. Like what? Fuck that dude.

Like come in here and insult my wife? Like fuck that dude. No. If someone came to my house and insulted my wife, I'd be like, fuck that dude. It should be fuck that dude. And what would you think

if someone insulted your wife? You'd be like, fuck that guy. What? You're going to come here and insult my wife? Did you earn brownie points with your wife? I would get madder afterwards, yeah. Because I feel like if I was married and Pat kicked somebody out, if we're just

if he kicked somebody out of our apartment afterwards, I'd be into that. I'd be into it. I'd be like, alright. Hell yeah. Job time. Let's go. She said that in a business where we get husbands to like stand up for their wives yeah yeah plants

yeah it could reignite a marriage yeah honestly very easily there is something like very like that's I think that's very cool

that you did that oh very nice the other the alternative is to tell my wife to chill out I'm on his

take his side you're like yeah you're right which is not you have been viable this isn not a viable point of action. Yeah, you could just be like, yeah, you'll get used to it. Shut up, bitch.

We'll make more hummus. He's a firefighter. What have you done? Yeah. Yeah, she is, isn't she? It is lost in the shuffle that he's a firefighter, dude. If he was wrestling on the ground

with a firefighter, like if you whipped his ass, then suddenly you're the bad guy. Barstool employees assault firemen in New York City. Yeah, I mean, that was why I started with that story, which was that the next day I texted Rowan, the ultimate irony of this is that, sure enough, we had that whole back and forth about like, why would we ever not have a fireman at our party?

And I knew it. I knew it. Dynamic would not work. We were asking questions. No. No. We might have even said that. I think we said that.

Fire talkers are shit talkers. Yeah. Fire talkers are shit talkers. Wow, I'm giddy. But I also was profusely apologetic. Yeah. You know what I mean? To both you and your wife.

I don't want that to get lost on the shelf. I wasn't like patting him on the back being like we did it and finally his insult is so vague and and in a way benign yeah there's nothing to it i don't carry a simmering latent anger towards him it's not like well your wife if she did do something bitch if she did do something that was maybe a little off then you would be even more angry because he had it had merit what he said um yeah even i think it's more that if it was a if it was a pointed insult but there was it's like a vague insult it's it's like to say someone's over the top what does that mean that she's that she's like clearing dishes too quickly? I would consider that over the top.

Over the top to me is dressing like an elementary school art teacher. She has patchwork gown on. And she starts a flash mob. You think that's what he meant? Did she do that, Francis? 0 for 3. What a terrorito. No, there was... I quickly scanned. Francis? 0 for 3. What a terrorito.

No, there was I quickly scanned. I was like what does that mean? What has she done that's over the top? Has she been overly loud? Has she been telling people to take their feet off the table? Has she, you know, there was nothing. She wasn't micromanaging. She wasn't anal retentive. She wasn't

anything but kind and her usual warm uh providing self and so i was like well okay i think he just made that up it's not even that insulting we're half we're gonna have to ask him to leave but like it's not something that's gonna require trial by combat and he also didn't like it wasn't like on like later on he was like yeah like there was he never made mention of it really like he didn't like make mention of your wife at all like like there was no like through thread to it where something had happened or like yeah early on can you believe this there was there was literally like nothing to it he just said something did he start the night complimentary like all these drinks are good yeah he was dude i'm telling you

he was a model guest until that moment, until that game. I want to find out the barstool employee, too. The barstool employee is still something that we've lost. That guy shouldn't even have been in the story at all. It was a red herring. It was like a foreboding.

It was like something's ahead. Honestly, it was really like, that made me slow down my drinking and be like i might need to be a little more on my guard which allowed me fortunately in that scenario to react with rationality and and calmly yeah you gave him a good day sir i said good day, sir. Hey! I said good day. Get yourself out, sir. You have worn out your welcome. It was something.

It was great. It really was something. It was a great night. So maybe instead of strangers at your next party, maybe me. You were at a bachelor party, which knew when i invited kb and he couldn't make it why couldn't you make it yeah what the hell i didn't get an official invite you shut the fuck up yes you did oh i'm gonna read the text i mean yes expose him. You're going to skew the definition of official. You didn't send out pigeons.

We didn't have... You're a slave to your own neuroticism. This is how you behave. This is why it happened in the first place. You've never been in like a... Have you ever went to like a scumbag party where the whole, like everyone's interaction is just insulting each other.

Wait a second. And the drunker you get, the more you want to be funny, but the less capable you are. So you're just like, oh, you gained 20 pounds and your girlfriend fucked the whole baseball team. That's what my friends get to when they're drunk. How does this have any bearing on the invitation? I'm saying if you were more...

No, it's not. Unrelated. I think you should have been more prepared for this like this you were so outside of your familiarity and comfort zone that it took it it's i think i i think i know uh you know typically if i were at if i were at a bar i would be open i would be prepared for that it was yeah it was your own place 10 p.m seven people left close friends and one friend of a close friend i'm not expecting that yeah that's just that's true i'm not expecting a out of left field insult to my wife totally you had set the tone how could i have known if we were if we were at the firehouse and it's all his buddies.

You need to go to the firehouse and insult him. Or in your weird wrestling shower, I guess. I don't know where you guys are. You would hate hanging out with the wrestlers. They are huge. They come in and you're like, this is going to be trouble. Black out and then just fart. They're rough. Aren't they rough?

I did bring one to... We went to Alex Bennett's apartment. You brought wrestlers to Alex Bennett's apartment? Yes. One of them was wasted and was just like, this apartment sucks. This is so small. It was just like... It was small?

I mean, it was obviously an immaculate apartment. Yeah. But the way he was delivering it was not satirical. it wasn't yeah he wasn't being sarcastic a cheek yeah he just kept doubled down on this and i was like dude what but that's challenging yeah and and you know why would he do that that's what they think it's funny that's what they do just put down this is those are like look

when I was in high school I was always baffled by people that would like vandalize shit for fun I couldn't understand why like road

ripping signs down oh my god that was every night we used to ride around in a minivan it was vandalism that's what

that's what they think is funny and now they grow up and insult people's apartments. Owen does that in the office still. He just goes around and ruins things. You can't vandalize this place. It's fucked up already.

It's already a shithouse. Owen will just go and I'll see Rowan about to leave work and he'll just go and pour a bottle of water on someone's desk. It's Tommy Smokes' desk and it's his laptop and I think that's funny. I think that's funny because it's Tommy Smokes. But it reminded me of the song Beverly Hills by Nicky. I think that's funny. I think that's funny because it's Tommy Smokes. But it reminded me of the song Beverly Hills by Nicky.

I'm tired of this. What did I, KB, when did I, I know I officially told you. I'm kidding. Because you responded. Oh, here it is. 2pm today. Good folks coming over. Here's my address.

Love to see you, old boy. Exclamation point. He gatsbied you. What more do you need? He hit you with a great gatsby. That's the reason I didn't go. I know, but you knew you were invited. I know, I'm kidding.

Okay. It's hard to tell. Well, if it started at 2 and ended at 10, that changes everything. Oh, yeah. I thought they started at 4. Yeah, but he literally was late because he had a fire to put out yeah if anything knowing how long it was and like i know with me a lot of times i'm better at it now at being like all right reel it in switch have a water or two but like many a night where i was having a great night but then i get this certain kind of drunk where i take something as an insult that's like not at all and then the wheels fall off like

that's i'm totally that kind i'm totally like i feel like a fireman kind of person where like the night was probably going fine but like it was destined sometimes i go into a night now in it i'm like oh you're not yourself around 11 30 p.m the wheels are gonna fall off tonight and i'm gonna do something wake up in the morning and be like, oh, God. Yeah, it was definitely an anxiety-rich day for the boy. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I know that feeling. It was a good time. Good story. Yeah. It was a good long story, dude. I love a good hearty story. You're a good storyteller, Fraser. You and Julio are.

Thank you. You both are good, patient storytellers. I'm curious, Nick and KB, you guys having been at that exact table, having played that game, if you'd seen all that go down, what would you have done? I would have stared at my shoes.

Yeah, I would have wanted to know. I would have been the guy who kind of half-heartedly hyped it up. No, no, no. Yeah, she is a little bit much. I honestly don't know what I wouldn't be comfortable telling him to stop or chill out. I think I would try to make it into a joke and maybe give him a jab. Yeah, Nick would do that. I don't know if it would make it better i wonder if i gave him any it would divert attention i think i wonder if if my wife had been able to deliver like a

really witty sort of coffin closing comeback a 9-11. Might that have might that have like totally diffused it because if he had like laughed and then If she gave a real good like third degree burn. I feel like when he's Oh!

Good. Yeah, when you're in that mental state that he's in and if your wife gave him a jab I think that's when things would get out of control. Yeah.

That's when he'd probably he'd have nothing to say and he'd just be like fuck you. Your wife. And that's when the brawl would start I think you're not giving this guy enough credit I don't know

seems like a good guy drank too much a little too much sauce Francis was a gentleman it's just a good story it's a good story not pressing charges though right telling the story is a way better outcome Yeah, it's just a good story. Yeah, it's a good story. Not pressing charges, though, right? Telling the story is a way better outcome than not telling the story.

Cool. And to the bottom of it, what's your meeting, Nick? I have a... Where are you on edge? I have a meeting. Oh, that meeting. Oh, fuck. AA? Is that what that means?

NA. NA. Really? I'm so sorry that I asked. I know it's non-applicable. You can't say it. Don't have it. Fair enough.

You can't say the name. I wanted to tell that story to Pat Bev last night when I was recording with him. Really? But I was like, I don't know if he would really get this but it is just uh it's a thunderous like headline to the story of like yeah my friend got kicked out of a party last night just like finding out finding out why or how he got kicked out of the party bringing a friend to another friend's party and those two people don't know each other huge gamble oh yeah big time big responsibility you're hosting in your own right yeah i was trying to yeah have some kind of and i i mismanaged the the the steeds i think that's

the stress of like bachelor bachelor parties sometimes you're bringing these like you're like three different clumps of friends together and there's always like one or two like liabilities that you know you're gonna have to kind of keep an eye like i feel like that has always thought i could glue guy my way out of it and i i could not yeah there was no that's a know you're going to have to kind of keep an eye on. I feel like that has always been a passion. I thought I could glue guy my way out of it, and I could not. That's a situation. You could glue guy your way out of most games. We were sad to lose Roan. That sucked.

Yeah. I like playing games like that. I specifically told you to come back. Yeah, yeah. That was my senior capstone was board game design. Is it actually? Yeah. I have so many board games.

Some created by my own hand. Really? Yeah. Have you ever played them at a party like a soiree like that? I had to play test it. That was my final. WVU was so easy. My God.

Looking back. You're just unstimulated. My senior capstone, my thesis was game night. They have a puppeteering major. It's one of two in the country. A puppeteering major? A puppeteering. Wow.

I wanted to do it and like, I remember touring the Creative Arts Center and I passed up like the puppet mobile and I looked and my mom just goes,

no, no. Mom, I wanna. Ever since I saw the Bye Bye Bye music video I wanted to control Shazay like that Yeah, you're trying to marry a net Alright brother, appreciate you

Thank you for the story Francis, thank you Hey, let's play a game sometime soon Yeah You should make a Yak board game Except for Yeah, a Yak board game would be cool We spin a wheel

Now if Erica walks back in Can you let me know? Yeah, a yak board game would be cool. We spin a wheel. Now, if Erica walks back in, can you let me know? I don't want to keep turning around. Yeah, we will let you know. Her office is dark. Gaz has been mobile today. You guys seen Gaz? Mobilized Gaz.

Yeah. Three different seats. He's been going up and down, this way, that way. With a backpack on, like he's about to fucking hit the road or some shit. Yeah, he's about to fucking hit the road or some shit. He's, yeah, he's sprinting around. It's like he's tried to leave like four times and then someone's fucked up

four times. Yeah. Do you think I threw my boy under the bus by telling the story? Yeah, probably. Yeah? No.

No. I would never be able to guess. If anything, if I was him, I'd be comforted by the fact that we can now make jokes about it instead of this awkward air. I'm going to be so embarrassed if this meeting was online.

Of yours? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Double check your email. No, she's here. She's here. She's here today. Remember when her Twitter bio was like, often late, always in need of a phone charger? I think that she probably is just late and needs her phone charger. Can I try to join a Google Meet? Yeah.

Do it right now. Is she on it? Is it you? I'm the only one in there, thank God. Okay, okay, okay. You're good, you're good. She'll be back in a second. She's here somewhere. She just has a bunch of shit going on.

Breathe through it. It's going to be a good-ass meeting. You know what's going to be even better? That NASCAR race that's coming up. Oh, yeah. Yep, NASCAR is back in South Florida. It's Dixie Vodka 400 race weekend. That's right.

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will mark the first time on the 1.5-mile venue for NASCAR's Next Generation Car. Tune into NASCAR's Dixie Vodka 400 race October 23rd, 2.30 p.m. Eastern Time. Yes, Kate. Yes. Beautifully done. I miss going to NASCAR races. I know. Why don't you go to some more?

I should. I should. Put some headphones on my son. You would instantly turn it into your personality. I went to that E-Pre race in Brooklyn. Yeah, that looked interesting. That was sick. It was a big crash.

It was crazy. It's E-Racing, is it not? No, it's like the cars are electric. Oh. Formula 1 cars. Electric Formula 1 cars. Oh, that's cool. That was a video game. Electric Formula 1 cars. Oh, that's cool. That is cool.

It was really cool. It was still like 20 feet long. The cars are fucking massive. Yeah. It started pouring, and then there was like a six-car pileup. Everyone was okay. Yeah. Apparently, they're built to crash. That is fucking sweet.

You've got to go to a NASCAR race, though, because as fun as a Formula 1 race is- Yeah. They hear the engines. Talladega was one of the most fun weekend like that was What do you think this scene

who's going to be at like a Miami NASCAR race? That's a good question. Probably gases. Yeah a lot of gases. I've been rooting for Allmendinger this year.

I love that guy. AJ? He just raced in the part of my cheesesteak car. AJ Allmendinger did. Wow. Did you see when Bubba Wallace pushed that guy yesterday? Yeah, it's bad because that guy is...

What? I think he said a bad word last year. Nuh-uh. Bubba Wallace probably wouldn't like. Nuh-uh. And I didn't know that. And I was in Charlotte yesterday for a bachelor party. And I was out of clothes.

And there was a NASCAR store. And so I'm wearing his shirt today. Yeah. Oh, no. My timing is so bad with shirts. What was the shirt? You wore the band. You wore a band t-shirt.

And the guy, I guess. Oh, you're not wearing Bubba Wallace's shirt. No, I'm wearing the other guy. Why were they even selling it? You know why they were. Right. Yeah. They were celebrating what he had done and said.

Yeah. So I walked in today and Liam's like, hell yeah, dude. And I'm like, what? And Spider's like, you know who that is? I was like, no. I was out of clothes. Damn. How was the bachelor party? It was at a lake house an hour north of Charlotte.

I got there first. I got there at 9 a.m. The guys said they were going to be there at 11.30. They meant p.m., so I was there alone the first day. 14 hours? Yeah. What did you do? It was an hour.

There was no restaurants or no sidewalks, so I couldn't go anywhere. And the house was empty. Did you get dropped off in like an Airbnb or you rented a car? Airbnb. I got dropped off at the Airbnb. So you were just stuck. Yeah, I was stuck. Okay.

Hungry. So the house also, the water line broke, so I didn't have water from Thursday to Sunday. So I was. Damn. So it was a good time. But as an experienced poop holder like myself, everybody else was Sunday. Damn. Damn. So it was a good time. But as an experienced poop holder like myself, everybody else was struggling. Nah.

Oh, yeah. You were a manhole cover with steel. It was good to catch up with the boys. It was my Mount Rushmore friends. Nice. Oh, no. The guy who was getting married is on my Mount Rushmore friends.

Nice, nice. Yeah, it was nice. That's sweet. You guys play any golf? They did. I chilled. No, nice. Yeah, it was nice. That sweet? You guys play any golf? They did. I chilled. No, a couple guys stayed back. Yeah.

I don't even have golf clubs. Yeah. Never have golfed. I'd probably hurt my back. It's tough to be in that situation where a bunch of your friends are golfing. If you're not a golf guy. Yeah. If you're not a fucking stick.

Like little Sasquatch over here. Right. He's a golf guy. the Lake Norman area is nice if anybody ever wants to settle down in a lake house get one there I'll check it out with that ad I just got a free lake house let's fucking go

no running water there's one lake because all the NASCAR drivers live in Charlotte all the NASCAR drivers live on this lake and on the weekends they all like tie their boats up and get fucked up with their super hot wives together i took a pontoon and uh the houses that were immaculate yeah water was like bath water that sounds fun that's my dream to get invited that was nice wakeboarded oh yeah wow boy nikki was that on your knees or are you standing up standing up really your core strength is pretty good.

No, I don't know if that's it. My balance is pretty good. Wakeboarding is hard. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah, getting up is really difficult. It was pretty slow. It wasn't.

Yeah. Everybody could do it. Really? Yeah. I've kneeboarded before. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of the training wheels version where you can't get up. Yeah. We paddleboarded in Alaska, and Kyle sucked.

So bad. I don't know how you can be bad at paddleboarding. Easy. It's like being bad at standing. Yeah. It was the worst experience. I was in so much pain. My arms were burning.

It was the toughest workout ever, and I was pedaling five times as hard and going five times as slow. I don't know what it was. It's like we were a mile ahead of him. Walkie-oar. We were in the middle of this ocean. We were looking for orcas. The mountain range was behind us. It was stunning.

I couldn't enjoy it. I was in pain. It was the most stunning, breathtaking experience of my life. Was it hard to keep your balance? No, the pain of having to paddle so hard and not getting anywhere while they just slowly grew smaller in the distance. That sucks, dude. It was truly one of the best experiences of my life.

I can't believe Nick is so good at these balance moves like this. I was a decent skateboarder growing up. That makes sense. And I think some of that conveys. So yeah, this is the view we had. Stunningly beautiful. What is that, heaven? It was like heaven.

Wow, that's huge. That's not Kyle. That's our guide. Kyle was not in any of the shots. Oh. Show the camera. And enjoy a second. I did think this was North Carolina.

At first I was like, what? And then. Pictures never convey. Beautiful. It was average of a picture, but it was. It was breathtaking. It was. I was like, what? Pictures never convey. Beautiful. That's just average of a picture, but it was... It was breathtaking.

It was. It was awesome for us, but then Kyle just turned in and went to the beach and drug his paddleboard, which are heavy and huge, for like another mile and a half. Really?

I didn't enjoy a second of that experience. Did you think about getting down on your knees? They're massive. Tried to do it. It wasn't that. It was... He couldn't that. It was the...

He couldn't go. I had a bootleg oar. Like a charger that takes battery from your phone. A hollow oar? Yeah, the harder I paddled, I was putting a lot of...

He was going backwards at one point. I was going nowhere. They give everyone, one person in each group a prank or. Yeah, you got a prank or from Spencer Gifts. I'd be remiss if we didn't bring up Stephen Che and the Bucs. I feel like on a football Monday, I feel like it's a good time for you to kind of lick your wounds

or make up some excuse for why they suck now. No, we got beat plain and simple. You guys are a bad team. Some are saying that. You said that. You made a blog about it. I thought the game. And you guys are a bad team. Some are saying that. Yeah, we believe you. You said it. You said that. You made a blog about it. I thought the Steelers were the worst team in the NFL.

And I still... They still could be. Yeah. It's a lot of karma. I made fun of Mitch a while ago, and he's carved us up twice now. Yeah, he probably... It was extra painful yesterday. He might literally have you as bulletin board material.

He might, yeah. When he came into the game, I told Jerry, I was like, Mitch is a Bucs killer. Maybe you should respect his game now. I do. I'm personally cheering for him. I hope he succeeds. But no better job in the world than a backup quarterback, you'd think, right? Yeah, dude.

He came and fucked you guys up. I hate seeing you like this. Yeah, it was a bummer. But it's a long season, and you guys look good. Thank you, brother. What did you think about the dude that ran out? Did you see that clip? The guy that ran out with the team? I think that's maybe the coolest move I've ever seen. That was a firefighter buddy move.

Yeah, it was. He ran out with the team down the tunnel and then one second later was getting dragged out forcibly from the stadium. Did you see that? I didn't see it. He looked like hecibly from the stadium. Yeah. You see that? I didn't see it.

He looked like he was in his 30s. Can we put that on there? Yeah, he was not. He was fat with gray hair. Yeah, he had some gray hair. Because when I saw the thing, I was like, oh, some young kid did it. But I was like, oh, no, that's a man that hopped down there. Did you see him? You might have to run it back.

There he is. Right in the front. That's so awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. That was super awesome. He was so natural. He was so drunk after that. I can't believe he was athletic.

Oh, that's worth it. He's not getting mad. That's so worth it. That's like a dad in khakis. You're like, that is so sick. That is a dad wearing khakis. Yeah. Yeah, he fit in.

He wasn't in pads or anything. I was like, yeah, he's a part of this. He looks like he was too out of shape to even make it any farther. Yeah, he fit in. He wasn't in pads or anything. I was like, yeah, he's a part of this. He looks like he was too out of shape to even make it any farther. No, he was ready. He was about to call it quits. If you were a player, I don't even think I would get mad at that. I mean, he's a fan of you. Yeah, he loves you.

I wouldn't get mad. And if you make it that far. How do you think he even got in there? I don't know. Because he looks pretty fucked up, too. You can stand in the tunnel, right? And try to tap up the players? Yeah, he was wearing, I don't know,

it was a team-issued sweatshirt, but he was wearing something that kind of blended in that other people that worked for the team would be wearing. He could have had a lanyard and been on the field beforehand. They do tell people to get off with, I think it's like 30 minutes before kickoff. So he could have just kind of stayed around and maybe he knew someone there and then just kind of made the move. I think that's a hundred times better than someone just running on the field during a game.

That's a way better experience. Everyone's cheering for him. And he's like, he got exactly what he wanted. He didn't disrupt anything. He's a legend forever for doing that. He truly is. It was the least selfish running onto the field. He didn't hold anything. He's a legend forever for doing that. He was the least selfish running onto the field. He didn't hold up the game. He just wanted to be part of something.

Right. He wasn't promoting anything. Well, the game was, I thought, like, one of the coaches was, like, being arrested. Yeah. He looks like a coach. Or, like, a strength coach, except for he's sloppy drunk and probably smells like shit. Definitely just standing outside all day. Sass, you're also a fucking good-ass

sports gambler, huh? Yeah. Undefeated. Yeah, the Yak Parlay hit, too. The Yak Wheel Parlay hit. That's crazy.

Quiggs is better than you. Did you see Quiggs yesterday? Quiggs was fucking insane. Holy shit. I'm not trying to

take away from you. No, no, no. I just said Quiggs is better than you, but... Quiggs bets were like... He made, what,

like $10,000 yesterday? What? Close to $20? It was a $5 bet to win 2K. Jeez. Holy shit. $5 to win 2K.

So basically there's a guy on Twitter that puts out predictions for first touchdown bets, and this weekend that guy was like 50 if it's positive. So Quigg's put them all in what's called a round robin, where it bets like a bunch of parlay combos, and he bet $5 and won 2K off of one of the combos. Jeez. Yeah, he had four long shot parlays that hit. Kenyon Drake first touchdown scorer,

and Irv Smith. Irv Smith, yeah. And he parlayed them. Yeah, and hit them both individually as well, and hit another. And hit the yak wheel. and hit the yak wheel. Good day for Quicks. Yeah, that's crazy. What a bastard. But Gabe Davis

again, putting you on his back. Good boy. Did you tell a story about Gabe Davis on Matt and Shane's podcast? Yeah. I still haven't heard it yet. Do you want to retell it here or no? I mean, yeah, we can. I mean, basically we went to the game with gabe

davis's trainer well gabe davis and like a bunch of dudes from the bills came to this friday early show in buffalo and then on sunday we went to the game with gabe davis's trainer and then we just like hung out with gabe davis like the rest of the night and then we went to hung out with Gabe Davis like the rest of the night. And then we went to like the Dave and Buster's with the whole Bills team, which was fucking insane. And we were so fucked up playing games with like Josh Allen. Josh Allen was with you? He was there. Was it like, ha ha, we're at Dave and Buster's or like this is what we do?

No, it was like Shane and LaMare were on mushrooms. Shane was so fucked up. I was belligerently drunk just going around from game to game. They gave us the unlimited cards. Charge cards. So I would know those exist?

Yeah. You still have it? I have two. Limited? No, no, but they probably expire. They probably expire. Because mine broke. And then I'm like... What's it made of? It wasn't working.

It wasn't scanning. I thought it shattered. And I'm going up... It was made of crystal. And I'm standing there, and I'm so fucked up. This is why I came in on Monday, and I was like, not my best performance. And I'm standing there, and I'm talking to a cop at the front door. And I'm like, dude, my charge card's not working.

And he's like, I don't know what you want me to do. He's like, I can't help you with that. And I'm like, I know, but like you think you gave me one and it's not working anymore. And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Was it a cop? It was a cop. I thought it was like one of the guys at the front desk. Oh, shit.

How could you confuse that? I'm talking to a cop for like 10 minutes being like, can you get me a new charge card? But yeah, it was fun. We hung out with

Gabe Davis for a while. He's a really nice guy. I didn't know he was only 23, which was crazy. Yeah, he's just a couple years, is his third year

in the league or something like that? Yeah. Is he a year older than you? Two. Two. But you guys

were super related though at Dave and Buster's. Yeah. He's a year older than you? Two. Two. But you guys are super related, though, at Dave & Buster's. Yeah. That's sick. Yeah, it was very fun. It was a fun weekend. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. And now he's just scoring touchdowns for you. Oh, yeah.

He's been scoring. When he's healthy, he scores an insane amount of touchdowns. Yeah. You can't stop scoring touchdowns. I know. That's a good dude to have as your friend. He gave me a nice little poster, framed. And it says, To To Harry from Gabe Davis.

Did you just dox yourself, dude? It says, Welcome to the Bills Mafia. Are you a Bills fan now? I kind of have to be. Unlimited Dave and Buster's card. It is, I will say, when it comes down to like

the Eagles and the Bills, bro, it's getting tight. No, dude. You can go fuck yourself then. Go be Bills gang. I will say I had a more fun time watching the Bills game than the Eagles game yesterday. Yesterday? Yeah.

What do you mean? Oh, I watched them on the plane on my phone. And so what do you mean it was a more fun time? The Bills were playing the Chiefs. The game that the Bills won was crazy. Yeah, but that's always... One point Buffalo. Eagles.

And then I watched the Eagles, and they were just destroying them. Yeah, that's awesome. Isn't that awesome? Yeah, but it's also fun to watch a good game. Yeah, but that was because of the Chiefs, not because of the Bills. Did you watch the Bills game last week against the Steelers? They just whipped ass the entire time. The same thing you're accusing the Eagles of doing. I was there.

Oh, shit. I was there with Gabe Davis. Lest we forget. Tell the story. I'm going to have to fucking... I have no cool Eagles players that I can hook you in with. I don't have a Gabe Davis adjacent. I'm still a big Eagles fan. I can hook you in with. Dude, I don't have a Gabe Davis adjacent.

I'm still a big Eagles player. No, no. I'm wearing my Phillies gear right now. It's cool. I think I'm rooting for the Phillies. Are you? I think. Over the Clevelands?

Well, yeah. Are the Mets just out of it? Yeah. Damn, that sucks. I like the Padres, I think. I like the Padres, too. Why? Machado.

Why not ride with us? I like Bryce Harper a lot. I like the Padres too Machado Why not ride with us? I like the I like Bryce Harper a lot Padre fans I love them I was getting flamed for saying That that's a stabable stadium Then I look it up And like multiple stabbings

Have happened at that stadium Are you talking about Dodgers stadium? I was saying I said that it was I said that The Padre stadium is a top 10 baseball stadium Oh for sure

And you were like It's Padres Places you get stabbed Padres Dodgers Ra Raiders. And then Chargers. California, it's stabbing. The foos.

No, foo. Yeah. Fucking foo. People were getting pissed. People got pissed that I said that, but I looked it up and there were multiple this year.

Within this calendar year, there's multiple stabbing. That's crazy. Speaking of baseball, are you seeing the Astros tweet that people are so pissed about? Yeah, it's insane. What the fuck? I was like, am I missing a joke?

People are so pissed off calling for the guy's job. It's the most harmless tweet. It's a sweep tweet. Yeah, there was a broom in the picture, and they used a pun for Seattle, like, see you. The broom was sweeping up a Mariners's poster. Yeah. And then with an ocean pun. And I saw people upset, and so I looked, I was like, am I an idiot? Am I missing some, like,

crazy joke? Give her a second. She's got her long coat on. The light just went on. That's what people are so pissed about. Yeah, I thought I missed it. So mad. I don't get it. People are like, this is classless.

Right. I didn't understand the upset. But people were really upset. What do they mean classless? I don't know. But if you look at the quote tweets, there's like the social media person needs five. It's outrageous.

It's so weird. Even the Astros fans are just like, can we win with class please i used to go to a lot of padres games because i lived in like north san diego county and it was just an awesome stadium like roma sang i went to one dodgers game fuck those fans fuck that stadium i had the war it was like the worst baseball experience i ever had i had a bad one i had a bad experience there too it's out in the middle of nowhere. I'm an asshole, actually. I was wearing a Phillies jersey that said Katie on the back that had my name.

It got thrown at me. Katie. Roan was yelling to an opposing fan at the Yankees game. She's a Red Sox fan. She didn't have her name on her back, but Roan found her name through following Jared Karabas. And then you started yelling her name at her. F***ed her out.

He was like a super fan. Oh, she reacted like, of course. Oh, yeah. I don't like the way she reacted. She wasn't freaked out. It's me. Then it was every single person that left, Roan would turn to them and go,

Bye. Bye-bye. It was in a funny way because they were already winning. Yeah. The Red Sox fans were beating the Yankees, and they were leaving because they had won, and I was acting like, bye, we're beating you, but they were beating the Yankees.

I was trying to be funny, but also that's why I've learned to mask my scumbag around you guys. It was very funny. Kind of tuck that away. It was funny. Save that for when I'm booing with the boys. But that's why I got to get down to a Phillies playoff game, just so I could show my true colors.

You're going to go? Yeah. Myself. I'm trying to go on Friday. They're probably going to think you're tame. Yeah, they're going to be like, this pussy fucking- This put-together guy. This fucking New York pussy.

All right, good show. I want to go to a hockey game. You guys want to go to a hockey game? Yeah, I love hockey games. I saw a video. Did you see the video of the guy who strapped the octopus to his chest and fucking snuck it open and threw it on the ice? It was C4.

He tried to strap it to his chest like it was breaking in. Do we have to do the wheel? Oh, we have to do the wheel. Run it. There's that really old Donnie video where he's trying to get into one of the Shanghai Sharks games. And he goes through security. And they lift his shirt up and he just has beer cans all the way around.

That is hilarious. He got away with so much. I know. Oh, my God. He had a fake job. He faked being an expert to have a job for a couple years. He was a doctor. Yeah, yeah.

All right, all right, all right. It loves that little portion. Yeah, it does. It loves that little portion. All right, hey, good show, everybody. Appreciate you all. Nick, kill it in that meeting, brother. It's not a...

It's just a... It's a meeting. It's a meeting. Just a regular meeting. No, this is... This is life or death. It's about a... It's just a... It's a meeting. It's a meeting. Just a regular meeting. No, this is... This is life or death. It's about Kyle. Yeah.

I had a feeling. Got to see if we're going to extend him or not. Yeah, they're pulling me in later for that. He's cool, but his wrestling buddies are... Yeah. They're reckless. I resonated so hard with your situation. Yeah.

Never to that extent, though. It's funny. It's explosive. Funny, yeah. Yeah, it's funny. It's a good story. Yeah. See you guys extent, though. It's funny. Explosive. Yeah, it's funny. It's a good story. Yeah. See you guys tomorrow on the Yak. We'll be right back. Bye.