The Yak - Gaz Comes In For Lil Sas's Weekly Performance Review | The Yak 8-10-21

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

Feat. Sean EvansYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. Hi, it's the Yak. I'm back on the show again. I got Sass over there. Owen's over there. Roan texted. He said he'll be a little late.

Nick and KB will be back tomorrow. Big Cat will be back tomorrow. All right. You young boys talk. Will Big Cat be back tomorrow? Won't he? Yeah. Thursday he won't be. Thursday. Tomorrow he's tomorrow. All right. You young boys talk. Will Big Cat be back tomorrow? Won't he? Yeah. Thursday he won't be.

Thursday. Tomorrow he's here. All right. Thursday we're getting the live show set. And I understand the tickets went. Is it sold out completely? Very quickly. Very quickly.

I think I have to get confirmation from the bar. They sold the inside tickets sold out like in an hour. That's pretty good. It's only $70, though. $70 is not that bad. Yeah, we could have done more. We were talking about that last night. Should have got a bigger building.

We should do another show. MSG. We should do another show. Thursday night? We should do another show Thursday night. No. We should do a show and then another show.

We should do another show in September and do a real venue. Well, first of all, you're just telling this club that they're not a real venue. Second. 70 people. Second, what are we talking about?

We're talking about, I mean, because MSG is probably at least three months away. I don't know if we're ready for MSG. Maybe Arthur Ashe Stadium, maybe Citi Field. Red Rocks would be cool. Yeah. I don't think we have to do a stadium. I don't think a real show is either a 70-person bar or a stadium. Maybe the USS Intrepid in the harbor. Or a stadium.

I'm excited for Thursday. Are you, Brendan? So I don't know if I'm going to be there. What? I don't know if I'm going to be there. I'm getting my – I have my appointment for Friday. But but real talk so this is what i talked to big cat about yesterday i'm going to try to get back i've got an incredible opportunity to go to wwe headquarters in connecticut and it just came up yesterday and it's at five o'clock on thursday so hopefully i can make it

back if i don't make it back it's not because of the vac situation it's because it actually is because of that i've driven by that headquarters a lot. What town is it? Stanford, I believe. Yeah. I think it's in Stanford. If you've driven by it a lot, how didn't you know that? Well, it was on the highway.

I don't always know what town I'm in when on the highway. Yeah, I'm going there. In fact, I have an interview coming in today from WWE I'm very excited about. I brought my 12-year-old daughter to work today. Yeah, I saw that. Was she on Pick Central? No, she wasn't on. She was in Sass's chair because that's the chair that the camera is hardest for the camera to get to.

So we were able to hide her in Sass's chair. Gotcha. So she was sitting in here while we did it, but she was never on camera. I'm not letting her be on camera. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Until it's beneficial for me, and then I will. So I'm excited about that. What's going on?

Here comes Roan. He literally was about a minute late. Is it one? How was Son of a Boy Dad? I haven't listened to this week's episode. Oh, it was good. Yeah, it's good. Did I tell you on my own?

Probably the best yet. When I took a long trip a couple weeks ago, I listened to the first, I think there were four episodes out at the time. I listened to them, and they were excellent. Yeah, the first ones were. It's a very good show. Fun, yeah. He just keeps saying, yeah, not thank you. And Owen, you thanked me. I appreciate that. Thank you. were excellent. Yeah, the first ones were. It's a very good show. Fun, yeah. He just keeps saying, yeah, not thank you.

And Owen, you thanked me. I appreciate that. Thank you. Hey, Rowan. What's up, brother? Where were you? You hear this shit? What?

Hear what? Just take one headphone off. That's beautiful. Dolores O'Riordan? Rocking the cranberries? Come on, man. RIP Dolores O'Riordan. Is that because I sang the Cranberries yesterday?

No, it's not why. That's nothing to do with you, though. I like their music, but it tends to linger. I'm sorry. I bet it does. Let's go, Brandon. Can we ding? Yeah, that's a positive thing.

Ding. Why are you late? There was a... As I was getting off the subway, there was this fucking blind guy on the stairs, right? Blind or blind? This blind man, right? Oh, wait. This might have been the same guy that we ran into.

The same guy we saw in Duane Reade. Were they carrying him around? Did he have a blue shirt on? Yes, he had a blue shirt on. Were his eyes literally pussing out? I don't think he's blind. I don't think he's blind. He was trying to return this eye medication that he got.

It was the wrong medication. And apparently his eyes were really red. He was shoving a receipt in their face. he's blind, he put, he was trying to return this like eye medication that he got and it was like the wrong medication and he was like, apparently his eyes were like really red. He was shoving a receipt in their face and they're like, this is not for Dwayne Reed and he's like,

well, I can't see. How is he supposed to know what store he's even in? Now, was your guy true blind or was he just cussing? No,

mine was actually, he was 100% the same guy. No, no, mine was blind because he was, he had a stick and they carried him

down the stairs like a pharaoh. It was like, they were like a stick, and they carried him down the stairs like a pharaoh. They were like pallbearers carrying this blind guy down the stairs. Did he have a can or something? There's no way that we both just ran into a blind guy with a blue shirt on. I almost got run over by a car last week trying to avoid a blind stick. Dude, the blind sticks are insane these days. They're fucking wielding those things like lightsabers.

Can we fucking put a governor on the blind community, please? So this guy, well, we don't have a governor right now, so this guy was able to Timely! This guy was able to get to the top of the steps and when he got there, they just all gathered and did a Jewish wedding with him. No, no, he was on his way down. Way down? He was at

the top of the steps and they stopped traffic at the top of the steps to put him on a pyre, a funeral pyre, like he was a fucking, uh, an Alaskan being sent out to sea. It was insane. And it was a holdup for like two hours. We were just standing there as they, they carried this blind on the step. That feels, that feels like an exaggeration. Yeah. Two hours. I don't exaggerate. I believe you. Thank you. I saw a blind guy using the self-checkout at a McDonald's one time. Really? Fake blind.

Was he doing it well? Yeah, he was just using it. Stevie Wonder's fake blind. There's a suspicious amount of fake blind people out there. But, like, why would you want to be perceived as blind? And you just go through life with, like, a... Yeah, it's a... Come on, Brandon.

But you go through life with a little bit of an edge because everyone thinks... It's like acting like when Brandon acts stupid. It's like... You know how when you intentionally act stupid so people underestimate you? Yes. It's exactly like that.

Pretending to be blind. You're actually very sharp. Thank you very much. I appreciate that, Ron. How nice is that McCafe though with the self-checkout? It's like a legitimate operation now. Yeah, I agree. But how did a blind guy use it if there's no Braille on the screen?

Let's get to the bottom of this. Did we know that there wasn't Braille on the screen? How could there be Braille on a touchscreen? It's just a massive iPad. Isn't there Braille on their drive-up menus? Which is crazy, I know, but I feel like it exists. Because if anyone can't wash their hands well, it's blind people.

They just would miss a spot. So if there's dirty, grubby hands and they're all touching it... I feel like blind people know exactly how to wash their hands well, it's blind people. They just would miss a spot. So if there's dirty, grubby hands and they're all touching it... I feel like blind people know exactly how to wash their hands. I believe they have to feel. They want to feel everything. I think that's a myth. You think so? I think that blind people are good at washing their hands. No, no.

Your senses are heightened. Yeah, I think the heightened senses is a myth. Do you have anything to back that up? I saw an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where the blind guy says it's a myth. Oh, yeah. How many of your existential beliefs in life comes back to Larry David said it once?

Larry David didn't say it. He wasn't the blind guy. Larry David never says it. Maybe he wrote it, though. Maybe it was his idea, his premise that the blinds are just lying. Yeah, I don't know it would make sense like i i believe that they are heightened more than i don't because it would make sense i feel like well make your fucking mind up dude i was just you know you're wishy-washy

advocate you can't ride both sides of the fence on this issue of all issues one time i saw a dude with no arms trying to light a cigarette with matches. Or maybe he had one arm. Was that in Philly? Yeah. The first time I ever went to Philly as a youth with my family, I saw. It would be big and grand and all this. It's just four or five streets of old buildings, right?

That feels like a shot, kind of. It wasn't a shot at all. It is grand. It's wonderful. Your town's fantastic. Thank you, brother. I'd like to go to your town sometimes, and thank you for the hat. No, you wouldn't.

Yes, I would. You wouldn't go to West Point, Mississippi. I tried to go last year. Yes, true. But remember, for three years I've had an Ole Miss hat, and it's been the bane of your existence. And you got back from your most recent trip, and you me a souvenir hat first thing I did when I went to Mississippi a gift hat I went to the hat store and I said give me this hat he's not lying he was

sending me pictures of hats it was fantastic yeah I sent him probably 35 pictures of hats yeah yeah each better than the last you boys will get some memorabilia from Brandon someday yeah you first have to piss you have to get Ole Miss memorabilia. What? Why? Okay, Steven, I'll take care of it. I'm sorry. Why?

What's the kerfuffle? I owe him something. He wants a College World Series baseball, and I told him I'd get it, and he's going to do a thing with it, and I keep saying it, and I keep forgetting, and I apologize in front of God and everybody, Steven. I'm sorry. It seems like you're spending a lot of time getting other people memorabilia.

Did I ever give you the Macho Man t-shirt? Yeah, I've got it. Okay. I didn't know if I still had that under my bed. It's in my second drawer, which is the drawer of shirts I haven't worn yet. So I grab it every day. I just haven't put it on yet. So you open up the second drawer, and you just touch all the t-shirts?

Top drawer are the elite shirts. Second drawer are the shirts I haven't worn yet. So you just open up the second drawer and you just touch all the t-shirts and close them? Top drawer are the elite shirts. Second drawer are the shirts I haven't worn yet that are trying to get to the top drawer and then everything below that. You're trying to get to the top drawer. Like a Toy Story situation. They're like escaping. They'll climb up into the next drawer. What are the

criteria of having a wearable shirt? Is it the fit or is it the design on the front or the color? It's the mood, the color often. If I get a new pair of shoes, I do the color matching thing. I'm a big fabric and the fit of the shirt kind of guy.

You don't want it to hang improperly on your nipples. No. That's the biggest thing. I would honestly wear most shirts if it fit the right way. And you have puffy nipples for a skinny man. Oh, yeah. Very puffy. Really?

As well as the steroids. That's true. We should just have our nipples taken off at birth like a circumcision. Men. Yeah. They only do us trouble. They only get in the way. I know.

No one ever, your nipples never. This. I don't really change my outfits based on what I'm wearing. Well, you're talking about the bank, right? You don't actually mean the club. We mean the bank right now. Yeah, of course. That's taking a life of its own.

I know. I didn't expect it to. We got to have the TD Bank logo, but turn it into son of a boy dad or some shit like that. Can I just say that before you got here and before the show, I looked at Sass and I just heartfelt, I looked at him deep in his eyes and I said, a couple weeks ago I had a long car trip and there were four Son of a Boy Dad episodes at the time and I listened to all of them and I thought it was a fantastic show.

It was very funny. No, you did not say that. You were like, I thought it was pretty good. Owen, Owen. He said that and then you were like, yeah. And then he goes. Shake my hand. He goes, yeah. Owen said, thank you.en's the producer he goes thank you sass went yeah

that's legitimately what you did yeah i don't know no thank you i appreciate what do you think that kobe bean bryant would have said if someone came up to him was like hey you're pretty good at basketball i don't think he would have said yeah you think he would say yeah like yeah i'm good at basketball i worked my whole life on it have said yeah. You think he would have said yeah? Like, yeah, I'm good at basketball. I worked my whole life on it. Or he just would have kept, he wouldn't have even said anything and just started doing drills.

Yeah, he would have fucking just crossed him over. He would have just deuced him. You should have just told a podcast on his ass. You should have just podcasted an hour and a half straight right in his face. I know. Right down his fucking gullet. Right down your fucking throat.

Hell yes. Just walk up to somebody and say, I'm on a podcast down your throat. Fuck yes. Just walk up to somebody and say I'm on a podcast down your throat. Fuck yes. You can. You can do that. Brandon, what's good

with you though, friend? I got to announce one thing. I got to get ahead of something. So at the end of the show, like 50, I'll have to get out because I have a guest coming to interview.

I have a guest. What was it before? 55. I have to get out at 50. You're already feeling it. Why don't you just bounce now? No, no. I'm not bouncing. I'm not bouncing. We got it covered. I have to get out at 50. You're already feeling it. Why don't you just bounce now? No, no. I'm not bouncing.

I'm not bouncing. We got it covered. I brought my daughter to work today. My daughter's here at work with me. Shut up. My 12-year-old daughter. Yeah, she's here. And I brought her because her favorite wrestler is coming to interview with me, and she doesn't

know it. So I'm surprising her. So I don't want... Oh, wow. That'll be cool. That's actually so sweet of her that she pretends to like wrestling. When I had sons, I thought, oh, I'm going to get to watch it. She fucking loves it. Anyway, it's very

redneck of us. Fine. I have a 12-year-old daughter who loves wrestling. Anyway, her favorite wrestler is coming and what I don't want to happen is me sitting in here and she sees her without me there to record. Is it Chelsea? Oh, it's a girl. No, it's Sasha Banks. Oh, yes. The best. So, my daughter

doesn't listen to the Yaks, so I feel comfortable in saying that. Why not? She just doesn't like it. It's not her. Oh, she. The best. So my daughter doesn't listen to the Yak, so I feel comfortable in saying that. Why not? She just doesn't like it. It's not her. Oh, she doesn't know who it's going to be? She likes Twisted History. Huh? She doesn't know who it's going to be?

She doesn't know who it's going to be. She just knows it's a wrestler. Gotcha. What if she's listening right now? What if Nate's over there listening and he's telling her all about it? He acts like he's going to babysit her, but he's just an iPad dad and just has headphones in. I've got her over there with her tablet and her headphones and she's under instructions not to talk to anybody.

She's going to end up on lowering the bar. It's going to be a whole thing. Eating hot gummy bears. What are the rules with iPad dads? As far as what? Is it at all times, you just unleash the iPad?

Well, I mean, it's just a great, it's a phenomenal way to, you don't want to lean on them heavily, but, you know, like,

I've got her here, I want to entertain her, and I want to be her board, iPad, headphones, boom, Hulu subscription, full house,

episodes for days, done. I was at a beautiful restaurant in Hawaii, in Lahaina, and we were on the, had the most beautiful view in the world, delicious food, and the parents just gave both their kids iPads. They weren't even enjoying the world. Is that also a protocol?

No, mine can't have them at dinner. Not at dinner? When we go to dinner, we can't have them. That's probably so the parents can have a good time. Yeah, most likely. But do you think that's even kosher? Yeah, just leave them in the hotel room. Leave even kosher? Yeah, just, you know, just leave them

in the hotel room. Leave them in the hot car. Or leave them at home. Much easier said than done. Leaving the hot car is easier said than done. What are they going to do? How old were they?

The kids? Yeah. Eight and six would be my guess. How hot do cars get in Hawaii? Hawaii is temperate, is it not? 140.

It's relatively temperate, but the climate's changed so much. Yeah. There was another little girl at the climate's changed so much. Yeah. There was another little girl at the same restaurant who she just walked up to the balcony

and like sang for half an hour like she was in a Disney movie just like staring off into the distance. That's amazing. It was right next to our table and she even like looked back a couple times

like in our faces. She didn't care at all and she was just singing at the top of her voice like she was Ariel. Was she actually a 37-year-old woman who was hired by the hotel or hired by the restaurant? No, because there was another Hawaiian guy singing What a Wonderful World like 35 times in a row on a ukulele. She was singing some kind of – it felt like a show tune or like a Disney tune.

I couldn't exactly hear it, but it was like soft enough we couldn't make out the words, but loud enough that she wanted people to know. And it was like the Titanic. She was like her arms were out in the air like just singing. Like the best compliment now for the younger generation is calling someone the main character. You took the words out of my mouth at the time. I said that she was giving off big main character vibes. Wait, is it a compliment though or is it a negative thing? I think it's a high compliment.

It's a compliment. I think it's, I don't know. This guy thinks he's the main character. It kind of seems like a little bit of a... That wouldn't be it. No, but when it's a girl, it's like, oh, she's serving main character energy. So what's the accompanying insult to that? Like, you're just a bit player?

But everyone is bit players in your life. You're an understudy. You're serving understudy right now. You're an extra? Yeah, you're serving. Or like, yeah, you're like a waste of the chair on the yank or something. People don't say that. People don't say that to anybody.

Damn. Yeah, but she was serving major main character energy for sure. I bet that did wonders for the ambiance, though. Oh, yeah. Little girls singing? Yeah, yeah, kind of. It was kind of annoying, though, at a certain point. Not really, but what was annoying was we had a-

How tall was the balcony? It was tall enough. It was tall enough that she wasn't going to plummet to her death. But we had a beautiful view of the sunset. But then as the sun's going down, all the other- Everybody else at the restaurant wants to come and stand in front of our view and take the fucking picture. But how are you going to get a good picture in front of a sunset when it's backlit?

I got to be honest, Roan, this is a very, very soothing Hawaii restaurant. Sounds like it was stressful as hell. No, it was still soothing. I'm just finding shit to... Roan just analyzes. He's an analyzer. I'm an analyzer. I'm a thinker.

I just sit back and I pick things apart. Scenarios. Situational comedy. You're a big scenario guy. Like fucking Seinfeld, bro. This burger is cold you know how to take the reservation those types of vibes that kind of shit uh brendan how was pick central did you say brendan no i said brendan brendan how was pick central wasn't it due on okay i oh never mind we can talk

about this later. Please. When you're gone. We'll talk about when you're gone. We need some stuff to keep in the chamber. No, I was going to talk about this, the OnlyFans stars making 270 times more than average worker. Yeah, right off the Pick Central stuff, yeah. Well, it's on the sheet.

Yeah. How long are people going to talk about the OnlyFans shit? It's like they make a lot of money. Yeah. We just got to move on from that. Every single day in the news, like, blah, blah, blah, I made a million dollars in one day. It's like, yeah, it happened. The only one that was wild was the bad baby one. Yeah.

Because she made a million on her 18th birthday. So all the pictures had to have been when she was under 18. Correct. Yeah. But at the same time. Which is a little gross. And these women also, I don't want to say that they're ruining their lives because they're not.

They're sex positive and love the OnlyFans ladies. But at the same time, it's got to be hard to transition out of OnlyFans. Yeah. Once you get there, turning back. I think the guys are ruining their lives. Like the people on Twitter who just like start posting them jerking off on OnlyFans. Yeah. How is that ruining their lives?

I feel like that's even—it's easy for guys to transition. I've seen multiple people on Twitter who have, like— Big penises. Like, 80,000 followers on Twitter, and they're, like, funny. And then just out of nowhere, they just start posting pictures of their dick on OnlyFans. And everyone unfollows them. Like, that's way worse than— No one wanted to see that.

We were here for, like, your jokes. But don't you have to subscribe, though? Yeah, but they post, like, shit with, like, a link. Oh, a little teaser. Yeah. A clip for a podcast type thing. Oh, really? It's like, dude, no one wanted to see that.

They bait and switch. They master bait and switch. Some dude who you think's funny, and the next thing you know, he know he's posting like a weird black and white photo of his abs. She's actually a little bit annoying as fuck. Who's that? Tico? Oh yeah. A little bit. That's a lot. Oh whoa. Teek. Teek.

I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up. Tico real quick just for a second. Shut the fuck up. I am a little concerned. I don't know what to do. So I do have the guests coming in right. Tico does real quick, just for a second. Shut the fuck up. I am a little concerned. I don't know what to do. So I do have the guests coming in, right? But Tico does like to just smoke a blunt right in the office. And I'm not talking about sneak around over there. She likes to stand right over there.

Right in the main entrance. And smoke multiple blunts at a time, three and four blunts at a time. Now, she doesn't have an entourage today. It's just her. I'm concerned about my professional crew coming in. Oh, I thought you were concerned about your daughter. Oh, I can keep her way over there. I forgot about her. This conversation makes me feel

better. I was starting to think I was the only person who saw Tico Texas. And then I was just going insane. She's just a ghost behind you? You're just hallucinating? It was just a voice in my head. Yeah, I mean I don't have anything. I don't have any problems but the weed thing is crazy. Like, I don't, like, people smoke weed in the, like, I don't know, in the office, I guess.

But, like, not in the entrance of the lobby. In the threshold. Yeah. The one place you have to pass. Right where anyone walks in. Everybody has to pass the weed smoking. Yeah. But it's like an initiation.

It's like the Rainforest Cafe. You get misted as you walk in. You get misted as you walk in. You get misted with weed. Yeah, just a light smoking. But it's like an initiation. It's like the Rainforest Cafe. You get misted as you walk in. You get misted as you walk in. You get misted with weed. Yeah, just a light smoking. Or it's like a cocktail. You ever get a cocktail where there's just smoke on top of it? Oh, yeah. And you have to go through that to get there? Okay,

I'm fine with that. Can you get a cocktail that's just fully smoke? You could just smoke a drink. I think that was an episode on the League, right? I thought that was on Parks and Rec. Was that not the Eagles? That must have been both. The Eagles bar?

It was on the League as well. When there's smoke. Agree to disagree. It was the Nimbus Martini, wasn't it? Yeah, something like that. God damn it. Because he tries to open up some bar. Yeah.

I looked that up. Apparently you can die from that very easily. Smoking? Like inhaling alcohol. Oh, like if you vaporize and ingest. You're much more likely to get alcohol poisoning or some shit from it. You can die from most things. Yeah, that's true.

How many ways to die? Six million ways to die? Choose one. Really? I'm pretty sure that's a saying. I think that is. Wait, there's only six ways? Six million ways to die, choose one. Really? I'm pretty sure that's a saying. I think that is. Wait, there's only six ways? Six million ways to die.

Choose one. There's got to be way more than six million ways to die. Pick something you love and let it kill you. That seems like a lot of ways to die. There has to be, but you could be like, oh, okay, take that camera, smash my head in with it. One forced trauma. That's one. No, come on. If you're going by that, that if you get very specific there's infinite ways to die yeah

yeah i guess would you guys rather die doing something you loved or something you hated i love love just an absurd why can't why no not at all because if it's something you hate then you're done with it and it's over but like if it's something you love, it's like, oh, shit. Steven, it's over either way. You're dead. You're dead. You're dying. Insane question.

Would you rather have one last moment of joy in your life or die, go out miserable, or just pass out in the line at the DMV? Yeah. I would rather, yeah. I always said I want a long death and a hard one. What? I always said I want a long death and a hard one. You'll probably get one. Yeah. That'd be great. That'd be awesome. I'll make sure of it. Your pancreas is going a hard one. What? I always said I want a long death and a hard one. You'll probably get one.

Yeah. That'd be great. That'd be awesome. I'll make sure of it. Your pancreas is going to give out. Why? What's your counter argument, Steven? What were you thinking of as the bad thing that you would die during?

Like rolling a stone up a hill or some shit like that? You just die and you don't have to roll it up anymore? Right. Let's say you're moving homes or something like that and it sucks and you're moving everything. But then right in the middle of it, you drop dead. It's like, oh, I didn't have to finish this. Counter to that, when you say die doing something you love, what would be your love thing?

Doing a fantasy draft? Making love. Fantasy draft, watching football, having a catch. You don't want to die having a catch, because that's going to scar your kids. Well, those are the things that I love There was an old Barstool blog When I was still reading Barstool

Before I was even hired here About a guy who was shopping with his wife In the Ukraine or something like that And he was just so fucking tired Of being at the mall That he walked up to the balcony And put his head between two spokes And twisted his neck until he killed himself.

And he just killed himself because he was sick of fucking shopping at the mall with his wife. Just an absolutely insane fucking story. But it's like he just – it's what you're saying. Steven, he died doing something he hated. Like he was having such a bad time that he was like, you know what? I'm just going to end my life right now. Brandon seems to have a counterpoint. Why wouldn't he have just jumped off the balcony? i just wanted to say women be shopping really bad i was just dying to

say women be shopping that they do they do they do they really do yeah they do to the point of death i used to have it was hurting me thank you owen for noticing i i have like a bunch of like i have like three aunts and like they all have like daughters and I have no I have three sisters like no brothers or anything and I'm from a weird a weird place to say aunt hmm aunts yeah you you should be an aunt guy I think yeah aunts and I just have to

go shopping with them when I was younger for like six hours and I get like I think I would have twisted my head on the balcony at some points it's brutal you just have to like go sit on a bench in a store. Yeah, but you're doing it for seven hours. I know. I'm saying it's terrible.

Sitting in a store waiting for somebody to try something on and be like, does this look good? It's like, bitch, I don't know. Is that Sean Evans? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's very cool. Hot ones.

Shout out hot ones. Sean Evans on the Yak. Please on today's podcast, the Yak featuring Sean Evans. All right, brother, peace. Thanks for being here. Take it easy, big dog. He just talked to Matt Damon. That was a very funny.

Yeah, he did just talk to Matt Damon. Oh, you like that? The little bleeps? That was very funny. Go to Owens. That took me six hours to make. That took me so long. I don't know how to video edit at all.

That was a full day project. What did you try and use? To edit it. Every app on my phone. Why don't you just... iMovie is so basic. Or just put it in TikTok and just literally just record the beeps over each... Oh, yeah, I was using TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram.

TikTok would have taken five minutes. You should just learn how to use Premiere. It's worth it. It's not hard. I have to. But also, if you're doing something like that, you can just use iMovie. It's very basic. Damn, you just shit on him.

He said he took hours. You told him how basic it was. It's actually super easy. You're trying to help him out. You just grab the thing. Because Apple is very user-friendly. You hear that? You grab the thing.

You literally just grab it. Now, do you understand? Yeah. You drag it to the end where you want it to clip. Okay. Yeah. We'll do a little class where you want it to clip. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We'll set up, we'll do a little class.

A little tutorial. Blogger school. I had to wake Owen up today, and I was dreading it. Why? Because he was up early doing stuff for, like, he was, like, tweeting about, tweeting out the podcast links. My dog. And I texted him.

And I texted him something, and he didn't reply. And then I had a feeling that he fell back asleep And I called him And I texted Evan and Duke Because I was like is Owen in the office And they were like no And I was like fuck Because it was like 12.10

And I was like I'm going to have to wake him up Or else he's going to miss the act And then you know just waking someone up Is very uncomfortable You never want to do that You did it weirdly too I just banged on getting in bed I just ticked on getting in bed.

I just tickled his feet. Slunk right in there. I put a warm towel over his face. That's the worst. Falling back asleep sucks. Because you fall immediately into deep sleep. Yeah, because I was up from like 6 to like 10 a.m. Yeah, and you're good.

And then I fell asleep from 10 a.m. to noon and then it felt like 6 a.m. when I woke up. Straight into REM sleep. Just straight into those dreams. Yeah. How long was it? How long did you have to sleep? An hour?

Two. Two. Two. You get right into that second cycle. You're right in that second REM cycle. One time I was...

Deep sleep. Deep healing sleep. Healing. Is that what you call that? Oh, yeah? Yeah. I read this morning that. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I read this morning that men are erect for two hours every night. That's right.

All my life. Is that a fact? All my life. It's a fact. Stop, bro. Stop. You're just making up facts, aren't you? What do you just have a fact book?

I'm erect at least two hours a night. Was that a wedding gift? Fact book? Yeah. I definitely believe that. No, I believe that No I believe that I believe that 100% I think I'm throbbing

Most of the night Yeah Actually Anytime I roll over I actually read that If you don't wake up With a boner When you're

In the morning If you don't wake up Most days with a boner It means you have low T Or blood problems Blood flow problems Yeah Hopefully low T And not blood flow problems. Yeah.

Hopefully low T and not blood flow problems. I'd rather have low T. Why are you not waking up with boners? Way to tell on yourself, bro. No, I am. Trust me, I am. Speaking of boners. When you woke up Owen today, was he... What's a boner situation there?

Can I talk about boners for a little bit? We're looking at the summer of love. Did Owen have a boner situation there. Can I talk about boners for a little bit? Yes. We're looking at the summer of love. Did Owen have a boner or not? Well, he did because I slipped some Romans into his breakfast. Well, yeah, because Roman wants to make sure you can participate in your way, whether that be as a single person or your roommate waking you up or a couple who would rather stay in with each other. Take care of your eating.

I'd like Rowan to finish this. The best part of waking up is when your dick is hard as fuck. Wow. Go ahead. Take care of your ED without leaving your home. Complete an online visit today to connect with a U.S. licensed healthcare professional and take care of it. They'll work with you to find the best treatment plan. If medication is appropriate, it ships you for free with two-day shipping.

The whole process is straightforward, convenient, and discreet. Discreet's the best part. Right, Seth? Yeah, it comes in that discreet packaging. Yeah, it looks like it could be anything. Yeah. It looks like it could be Roman swipes or Roman ED medicine. And the whole process is straightforward

convenient and discreet which is a sentence i just said and go to get roman.com slash parcel today and if you're prescribed to get 50 off your first month of ed treatment fuck yes good every one beautifully done owen got my dick hard just hearing that i know, we've all been on our Roman shit recently. Daily. Yeah. We just pop them. Yeah. We just chop them up. Because I guess we had some sort of reputation where people thought we were like the softest podcast or softest show in the office. Well, we just don't talk enough about hard

dicks in the show. I know. And now we're the hardest show in the office. Rock hard. Hard body. The boys are hard. We should do a sweatpants episode. Oh, yeah. Show off those prints. Show boys are hard. We should do a sweatpants episode. Oh, yeah. Show off those prints. Where we're all just fully torqued. Show off those prints. Why not just go waist up episode where we're ass naked from the waist down? This needs to turn into a...

I think the flow of this show would improve. If we were ass naked from the waist down? If we were waist up. Too much to worry about going on down. You're always worrying about your leg positioning. Is my dick out or not? Jeff D did the FDR blanket.

He brought a blanket. To cover his legs? He's not even fucking with his dick out situation. He just wore a Browns blanket on front of with his strong legs. They're beautiful. I hope he's not self-conscious about them. He's a sturdy man. He's got some big calves

Untoppable He's a bowling pin Is this you Brandon? Oh wow she's here quick Yeah you can go it's fine Go go go go go Because Tico's getting her right now Oh my god go go go

Tico hasn't gone No Tico Don't put it up to your face Oh fuck bro What are we about to fucking talk about This is an entourage right here Nico, don't put it up to your face. Oh, fuck, bro. What are we about to fucking talk about? This is an entourage right here. Yeah, it is. That guy looks like he makes deals.

Yeah, he's got his deal sleds on. The driving moccasins. Sleds, my boy. Italian? You ever call them deal sleds? Italian leather? That's a cool thing to call shoes. They are icing, Brad.

That did sound fucking good. What is it, deal sleds? Yeah. What the fuck does Deal sleds? Yeah. What the fuck does that mean? You just close deals in them. Really? Are those your deal sleds? Yeah, these are my deal sleds.

What's up with your boy Kanye, bro? When's this album coming out, bro? I know, right? Donda? Donda? Yeah. Donda-esque the album, bro. I hope that's what I'm fucking saying.

Isn't it out on Apple, or am I crazy? I don't know if people actually listen to it, or they're just saying they did. Yeah, I feel like there was that listening party thing. Didn't people listen to it on that? Yeah. Where he was levitating above the... Steven, I like your... Sass, why don't you come sit over here?

This is an uncomfortable shot. I know. I'll move over. This is the opposite of intimate. Where is it? Steven, I like your top three favorite fast food items. What are you going with that? I think I agree with two of the three.

Oh, my top three. Okay. Yeah, you have Crunchwrap, Supreme, Spicy Chicken from Popeye's, and a Shake Shack Stack. Is the Crunchwrap Supreme the one that has a soft taco and then a crunchy taco or is it a quesadilla with a single flat crispy tortilla in the middle? No, the second

Oh, wait. Yeah, no. I'm going. You're thinking of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I'm thinking of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Which is superior to the Crunchwrap Supreme. I'm going Cheesy Gordita Crunch Chick-fil-A sandwich and probably a Shake Shack burger. I'm going toesy Gordilla Crunch, Chick-fil-A sandwich, and probably a Shake Shack burger. I'm going to go ahead and take back things that I said previously about not Chick-fil-A, about Shake Shack.

I think I said I thought Shake Shack was mediocre. Yeah. I had a burger there on Friday. It was very good. Yeah. Look at that shot. Hold it, hold it There he is

Yeah, no, it was a really good burger Yeah And the Popeye's chicken sandwich is so much better than the Chick-fil-A sandwich That it's like shocking That it's even in comparison Yeah, maybe I'll do Popeye's, I don't know Have you ever had it? Yeah

It is so good I like the spicy I don't think I've ever had the spicy Oh yeah What about the McDonald's parfait? Have've ever had the spicy. Oh, yeah. What about the McDonald's parfait? Have you guys had the parfait from McDonald's recently? It's just like a nice, it's like a light snack. It's like fruity.

It's tart in the place. You said you get five of them. Four of them. Four of them. And I use a cone to just scoop them out singularly. It's a fucking, it's a light treat. I don't get McDonald's often. Why?

Because you're body conscious? Yeah And also because I feel like Every other fast food place For some reason Just seems healthier than McDonald's Yeah You had a brutal go At McDonald's on Friday

I did get McDonald's on Friday Damn But that was what That was the first time I've had McDonald's In like six months But they left it on our doorknob Yeah

And then when he And then when he opened the door It dropped He picked it up. And there was just Diet Coke coming out of 15 different holes. It was like at full speed. Damn, dude. I got punked hard.

You guys just bitched you out badly. And it wasn't even like the Diet Coke didn't, like the top didn't come off. The bottom like broke out. It was a soft cup? Yeah. It exploded. The amount of time that it took for all of the liquid to leave the Diet Coke was shocking. No structural integrity to it?

Like two seconds, and it was all gone. Damn. I feel like that was almost by design. I know. Had you had a bad run-in with the McDonald's folks? No. No. Very good run-in.

Had some chicken nuggets. They were good. So why would they sabotage you like this? You instantly regret it, though. All McDonald's? Yeah. I think that there's

like a Sunday McDonald's that's not regrettable. You can hit a Sunday McDonald's and it can be pretty. I don't. McDonald's and porn are very similar. You regret it all?

You regret porn right after? No, I never regret porn. What's regrettable about porn? You get like post-nugget clarity. Post-nugget clarity? I feel like there's just like no reason

to have McDonald's because like the amount of McDonald's you have to eat to feel full, you could eat like something just as good, but like way less bad for you. Who's paying you? Why are you saying this shit about McDonald's? Michelle Obama.

You're just a mouthpiece for the Obama family. I'm just trying to justify my reasoning. I sent Frank a picture of apple cider vinegar gummies from Walgreens this morning, and he just goes, ugh, bullshit. Frank hates apple cider vinegar. Yeah, he is. With a passion. I mean, rightfully so.

But he doesn't know the probiotic benefits that it has. Brandon's sprinting down the hallway. I know. Goofy sprint. That was a weird. It was like a leap. It was like a tightrope leap, too. He sprints thin.

He didn't really spread those legs out. He didn't really let himself bloom. We could feel this. We could actually feel hisrope leap, too. He sprints thin. He didn't really spread those legs out. He didn't really let himself bloom. We could feel this. We could actually feel his steps from here, too, which was interesting. Yeah. We calling him a fat boy? No. Is it officially fat boy season for Brandon Walker?

No, I think he's just a little heavy on his feet. Yeah, he is. He's not light. He's not built to jog like some of us. No, like me. You got thin ankles. You're built to jog. I know.

You can jog for a long-ass time. Yeah, that's what you think. I don't really get it because I feel like any time that I go into a run, you get in your laptop. No, I'm good. Look at the run he ran. Oh, you're back? I'm good. Yeah, I'll just finish the show.

Tico grabbed her? No, no, no. She in the green room? What happened? What happened? Well, I got my daughter, and she met her. It was really cool. I didn't tell my daughter who it was.

She was surprised. So got a little dad of the year vibes going on. Really? She was like, who the fuck is this? Yeah, she thought it was going to be John Cena. Yeah. No, she – Is John Cena here?

Because I can't see him. She knew it was going to be a but i uh it was fun it was good good time that's very cool so uh but my interview is not till two so now that we've got that out of the way i can i can ride with you boys oh hell yeah hell yes brandon dude you never leave a man behind no no i'm not gonna let you guys just flounder out here in the wind without me we're floundering i'm the heart and soul of this whole venture we talked about it all in front of the boy dad i was about to start telling the story of this time I had to wake up this Asian

dude and he was ass naked or whatever. Y'all still talking about ass naked dudes? No, I was going to have to go back to that.

I didn't do it. I saw an ass naked dude the other day on the street. Thank you. Okay, let's talk about it. Was he a jelly bean?

Strictly ass. All you could see was his ass. Well, just an ass isn't ass naked. Not really, no. But he was ass naked because all you could

see was his ass. No, that was a naked ass. That's not ass naked. No, that was a naked ass. That's not ass naked. Yeah, that's a whole different vibe right there. This is the crazy entourage. It's just three people. Yeah, I know. They're like, they mean business.

Yeah, they're getting the way that they're getting wheeled. Is she about to be an equity partner in Barstool? The way she's walking around, it's like she's about to buy the place. If she wanted to. I mean, she's the boss. It'd be good equity as we launched in Virginia today. Colorado yesterday, Virginia today. Are you guys excited about that?

The world tomorrow. I'm not allowed to be excited about it. That's true. But I am excited about it. Yeah, but don't you want it to be in as many states as possible for when you turn 21? Yeah, we could just take you all over the country. I don't know. Yeah.

What are you going to put your first bet? Actually, I'm not going to ask. We could take you to Colorado or Virginia soon, maybe to Jersey or know. Yeah. Where are you going to put your first bet? Actually, I'm not going to ask. We could take it to Colorado or Virginia. Soon, maybe to Jersey or Tennessee. Yum. Arizona. That would be fun. Me and Seth went to the gambling house yesterday.

We did. How is it looking? It's nice. It's getting there. Where? We had about 15 people go to the- The gambling house is now in Hoboken instead of Philly. What?

Probably shouldn't be talking about it. Why? I don't know. Can we talk about it? I haven't heard anything about it. No one's there. No one's doing anything there. Yeah, it's in Hoboken instead of Philly. Probably shouldn't be talking about it. Why? I don't know. Can we talk about it? I haven't heard anything about it. No one's there. No one's doing anything there. Yeah, it's in Hoboken.

No one existed. It's in Hoboken. I thought it was Hoboken. Basically, we had 15 people go to Hoboken yesterday to move a stage that we heard that was like weighed 10,000 pounds. Wait, why did you go? They were like, do you want to come? And I was like, sure.

We weren't recording for like two more hours, so I was just going to go with them. They needed some big, strong boys. They're like, who has the best deadlift? We went and took about two people to move. We were there for what? Two minutes? Who was out there? What was the cast of characters? A lot of bodies.

Youngstown Bob? Was that not public yet? I'm sure it's fine. I hadn't heard anything about it you've been gone for a month it's just a it's just a it's just like an apartment you've had an entire marriage

since you last left I did not shame you at all when you were gone it's time for your divorce the entire time I've been through it I got divorced I'm back together already

but the entire time you were gone I was celebrating I said Brandon needs rest and relaxation I fucking watched the video I was in omaha

nebraska with ben mentz i wasn't resting or relaxing i'm talking about when you were fishing oh getting back together after divorce like that seems worth it that was probably awesome oh yeah oh yeah rekindled i'm sure there's a rekindle your love there's a week of epic fucking there but again you're you're back with the person you divorced. It's got to be miserable. You wouldn't get it. You don't know nothing about J-Lo. It's true. I don't know nothing about J-Lo. Or Ben Affleck.

They broke up, but now they're back together. They seem happy as clams. You can't stop touching her, honey. Yeah, here's the thing. They can do it because they're celebrities, but doesn't it suck if you break up when you're 20 and then you get back together when you're 60? I mean, you missed all the good pussy.

No, no. You're talking about J-Lo right right now no no i'm not talking about them they're celebrities they're their pussy age is different j-lo's pussy is definitely still fun yeah it's still good you mean fine or fine like fine okay no no like it's fine you mean like a fine point j-lo has an adequate pussy is what you're saying no no no like her no. Like, her pussy is fine. It's beautiful. Like, F-O-I-N-E. Yeah. Or do you mean, like, fine, like, concise? Articulate.

She has an articulate pussy. A very succinct pussy. A succinct. That actually sounds like a nice compliment. Her pussy knows what it wants. I think the rekindle is what it's all about because it's like you've been thinking about it the whole time. No, just kindle, man. Don't rekindle. No rekindling? Just top it out. Mm candle, man. Don't re-candle. No re-candling?

Just top it out. Mm-hmm. That's what I do. Stay together. Let's get Gaz on. Why? Gaz-o! Nah.

Yeah, let's get Gaz in. Gaz. Gaz, we're doing a SaaS review. A SaaS mid-year review right now. The best thing I can say about SaaS is we no longer have to do weekly check-ins okay i know that was a big thing where like we were checking in with them all the time we cut those what like two weeks ago yeah whenever the podcast yeah as soon as you started doing the podcast and that's been going really well uh you put him in my care you put him in my two yeah once i gave him the wrong the dad son of a dad or whatever the fuck

it is i just sit him on my lap all right he's out like, all right, he's out. I cut bait. I'm out right now. It's sink or swim on his own now. Exactly. I have him like a marionette. I have him like a little puppet on my lap. And he's swimming. He's swimming. But overall, I'd say it's been a great,

it's been an interesting ride with Sass. Like, I think we started out, like he's had this huge following. It's been awesome. It was like good. I hope we convert that into content here that works. Took a little bit to get him comfortable, I feel like. Yeah.

Like, and get rolling. But now that he's rolling, I think he's going to be great here. Dave was talking about him on BFFs today, and he was saying how he's a fan and everyone loves him. Really? What did Dave say? Well, Keemstar was on. Oh, yeah, Keemstar. We had a diss track that we spiked for Keemstar.

We were going to fucking body his ass. Yeah, Keemstar wanted to like make things right. Yeah, that's why we spiked this guy. He wanted to establish who the actual king of New York was man to man. But then actually now I talk about Sass wasn't at work. So it's like, yeah, maybe we should go back to those meetings. But he was kind of reestablishing the order. And with the Cuomo shit, you know what I mean?

You can't be mad at Sass for trying to take over and seize power of the city right now. What do you expect to see for the second half of the year? Like what would be a successful trajectory for Sass? And has he avoided the pitfalls of other people who have come to Barstool with big followings but haven't been able to capitalize them? I mean there's been a couple of people with big Twitter followings that didn't work out here. Or even – yeah, other – KB. KB has no idea what to do but do you

think that he's avoided that rut and how does he have a successful second half to this year i think uh i think continuing to do what he's doing with the growing the podcast i think you guys got a good team there uh it's unique content that what parcel is i don't know how we're monetization is gonna be interesting to see how how we do with that with the sales team. If I gave you a dollar, could you be still right now? He's working. I'm moving. I'm shaking.

I'm supposed to be on Dave Portnoy show and I'm wasting my time on the act. Your show is a nice talk about a downgrade. We're live right now. I can't go live. You guys don't know how to go live. But it is true. It's going to be tough to find brands that will mess with us bad boys. Or people that he'll want to mess with. He's very particular.

Exactly. No, we already have advertisers. But the ones he's denied. We had four one week and now we're down to one. We're down to one. Because he keeps on kicking them off. He's like, oh, you don't have. No, for me, I've always told Sass the more he can make the better.

That doesn't always work with everyone here. I just think everything he does is always good. And he's sometimes like the confidence of like just keep shooting stuff out there but i get like caleb does you know how many videos is caleb doing but that they're always home runs and i think that's the way sass looks like he always wants the home run uh doesn't want to be like the volume shooter just putting up a million shots in the gym and hopefully you get half of them to hit i come from like i think when you're a talent as he is the more more you do, the better. But again, that's just my opinion. It's just a way to grow. If you want to make the brand bigger, if you want to make son of a boy

dad bigger, if you want to make Barstool bigger and make more money. Yeah, if you want to have more followers on other platforms other than Twitter, which would be nice. Sounds like you're incredibly disappointed with his output. He's just a hard charger. Gas is there with the cattle prod just being like, let's fucking go Sass. Let's fucking make something happen. Twitter, like, let's be huge on every platform.

Fantastic. Dude, we'll appreciate the feedback. And I'm sure that Sass' ego is going to – does it feel good here and there? Yeah. Yeah, it feels good here and there. That's good for the ego. But don't let it get to your fucking head, though. Thank you, guys.

Appreciate you, brother. Talking about you on BFFs. Yeah, let's talk about how you're not growing on anything else, right? That felt good. Just a good gut punch. You are growing on other... Just 55 shots to the chest. He started out real nice.

I know. Yeah, but he just has to... And then he got you comfy. Yeah. That's because people are trying to kill him on TikTok. They said that he kisses Dave's butt. Oh, Gaz? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, she's been going him on TikTok. They said that he kisses Dave's butt. Oh, Gaz? Yeah. She's been going off

on TikTok. Dave's girlfriend. Oh, good for her. You don't follow TikTok? I don't follow Dave's girlfriend on TikTok. Why not? Are you not a company man? I don't understand. I don't think I like... I have followers on other platforms.

Now you don't think I like... I have followers on other platforms. Now you don't actually. Is your following growing on other platforms, though? It is. Or are they stagnant? I don't know. I don't go on TikTok. You don't need to go on TikTok. I'm never going to be a TikTok person.

Is Larry David on TikTok? No. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I don't believe you, though. Steven, what is your favorite scented candle? That's a good question. It's your question.

I would say like beach breeze or something a little bit tropical. All right. I would say pipe tobacco. Oh, that's masculine. Yeah. That's not. Is that a candle scent or is that just the scent of pipe tobacco? No, they sell it.

It's very good. They sell that at the J.J. Maxx. I do love the smell of a good pipe. Yeah, it's really good. Are pipes going? I'm talking about tobacco pipes, like old man pipes. Are those going the way of the dinosaur? I think so.

I feel like old men these days aren't going to smoke as many pipes as old men used to. Yes, they definitely are. Yeah, but maybe some hipsters will bring them back or something. And that'll kill them even worse. They'll have the hipster run, and then when that's over, it's done. Well, the carcinogens kill you. Yeah, but everything kills you. You need something healthy to smoke

in the pipes. Is there anything healthy to smoke? Is that one area we haven't found anything healthy? You want to take this one, bro? It's actually medicine. It's medicinal. You clearly don't have too much experience

with our friend Mary Jane. Seriously, the hot leaf. That is very correct. Didn't Brandon get, like, fucking, like, fried with you one time, Ron? I didn't get fried. He said he thought he was levitating. Wasn't he doing, like, soup? I didn't say that. He said he thought he was floating.

He was doing, like, bong rips, clearing the bong. No. So we did go. He was throwing some dabs on top. He was like, I need ice cubes for this rig. Yeah. We went to Alley in Chicago. We smoked one.

Smoked one what? Whatever it was. I don't know. One unit. One ounce. We went back and did a three-hour live stream. I don't think I said another word the whole night. Yeah.

But you said you went to Subway and you got a six-foot hoagie, but it was six one-foot hoagies that were all stacked on top of one another. You ate it just the same, but it was weird to call it a six-foot hoagie but it was six one foot hoagies that were all stacked on top of one another you ate it just the same but it was weird to call it a six foot hoagie you smoked for uh like a coach doug's stream yeah you said you thought you couldn't shut up but you went the whole time without saying a word yeah that was with roan till we went out on the and we walked in there roan loves trying to like convince people to smoke i thought i was hysterical i thought i was killing the stream i didn't say a word convince Convince people to smoke weed.

Rodan loves to like really peer pressure people who have like been, they're like, oh, I haven't smoked in like six years. Like I quit.

He loves, he loves, I love when they're like, I have terrible anxiety. It gives me like a panic attack. I'm like, oh, smoke this then.

Just set them off the fucking edge. No, every time Brandon was, Brandon would beg. I didn't beg. I asked. I said, hey, I'll smoke one. If we're not, we're not at home, I didn't beg. I asked. I said, hey, I'll smoke one.

Exactly. We're not home. I don't have to go home to my family. I'll smoke one. Exactly. It was a nice thing to do on vacation. It was beautiful. What a bonding experience.

Maybe in Wisconsin? No, I didn't do it in Wisconsin. It was Doug's stream in Chicago. We didn't walk the line. You guys smoked around me. Yes, and that was after a Yak Live show. No, that was Barstool Radio. Oh.

Wasn't it? Yeah, because Dave was there. No, we did both, though, I thought. Did we do a Yak Live show? I thought we did. I don't know. But we were all there. It makes sense because we were all there.

All the good parts of the Yak, Caleb, Marone, me. What is it we're going to do on Thursday? Like, what is it going to be like? I'm so curious. I'm excited. It's the World Championship of Ski Ball. We're not doing the World Championship of Ski Ball. We're going to be around it.

We're just going to be around Ski Ball, so we're just going to be talking ball, talking hoop, talking ski. We talk ball all the time. Should we hit the slopes before Ski Ball? You know what I mean, boy? Oh, yeah.

Oh, we're definitely doing blow. On stage. Gotta do some blow on stage. It'll be fucking legendary. People will be going nuts. You know the Nelk boys

are opening for us? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't, I hadn't heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Really?

We just set that up today. That's gonna be fucking sick. I know. Sal hadn't heard that. Yeah, yeah. Really? We just set that up today. That's going to be fucking sick. I know. Salute to those guys. Joey, they throw down, bro. I can't wait to see what, I mean, the freshmen are in for a fucking surprise this year when they fucking see how the Nelk Boys throw down. Arizona, Arizona State, Western Arizona.

Yeah, I think it's going to be fun. I'm excited to get on stage and have more than one person in the audience. That'll be sick. Yeah, I think it's going to be fun. I'm excited to get on stage and have more than one person in the audience. That'll be sick. But also, like, are you going to be trying out jokes? No. But just, like, being on stage with more than one person is going to be nice.

I think I'm going to hate it. Yeah? Yeah. Anxiety-wise, we should smoke before. I'll do blow, though. We'll just do some bath salts. We'll do bath salts We'll do bath salts They make you

Kill and eat people They make you eat People's faces off I think also like They're just like Why you see It's hard to differentiate Between K2 and bath salts

To me K2 is like fake weed But bath salts I guess are something different They also make your bath smell Terrific They taught They taught us a bunch

About K2 in health class Growing up Was that a thing for you guys?. They taught us a bunch about K2 in health class growing up. Was that a thing for you guys? Yeah. Yeah, we learned a lot about it. We learned an unnecessary amount about it. Because didn't they sell that in like... They sold it in like stores.

They sold it in like journeys and stuff. Yeah, yeah. At like convenience stores. They sold it. They sold it there. All right, Brandon. Y'all do what you do. You know I dropped a ball.

I just got to go handle this. But y'all do what... I love the Yak. It's a wonderful show. All right. I've enjoyed you guys. You know I drop the ball. I just got to go handle this. But y'all do what I do. I love the Yak. It's a wonderful show. All right. I've enjoyed you guys. I'm going to miss you. She just texted me and she said she's out.

Who's out? Your guest. Sasha Banks texted you. Yeah, Sasha Banks just texted me. Yeah, see, she's not with the people. She's not with her entourage anymore. She bailed. She bailed, dude.

Just hang with us longer. And apparently she hit your daughter, too. Jesus Christ. She bailed, dude. Just hang with us longer. And apparently she hit your daughter, too. Jesus Christ. She RKO'd her. Your daughter fought back, though, to her credit. Salute to your daughter. Yeah, full circle bar, 318 Grand Street. We encourage people to crowd outside and just be around outside,

cause a scene, or clog up the sidewalk. We're actually hiring paparazzi to come. Yes, like that Caleb video. Wasn't that a what's it called video? I think they both did it. Oh, really? Ooh. Who did it first?

I'm assuming Caleb, right? I think so. Everyone can't watch everything. No. Can't see all things at all times. No. But it's a great business model. We should do that.

What time is it? Should we just keep on fucking? Yeah, let's keep on going. Let's keep on going. I just have no idea what. I got nothing else to do. Tell me what time it is. I was going to touch your phone.

Oh, let's fucking go, dude. Let's fucking talk. Is Michael Thomas' time in New Orleans over, Sass? What do you think that fucking the Saints are going to do with their wideout situation, especially with Traquan Smith's ankle injury? Is this second-round rookie that everybody's talking about, is he the real deal? Is he going to be able to take it over the hump, or is this just training camp hype? So you believe in him?

Steven, corroborate? Steven, what the hell is going on with Michael Thomas? I mean, he posted an Instagram story yesterday that was, like, basically saying that he's not saying his side of the story to protect the Saints. He's going to get traded. I saw that. It was, like, white Comic Sans font. Yes. Very weird.

Did you guys hear that Cuomo has a podcast at Barstool now? Yeah. Yeah. Call him Cuomo. Dude, because he's misunderstood. And he also tells it like it is. Because I grabbed thighs. What did he say this morning?

Was the Italian thing real or was that fake? I think that was real. That was real. That's hilarious. What other podcast names? Let's spitball for 10 to 15 minutes. I think the idea of Cuomo having a podcast at Barstool is, like, weirdly realistic and also hilarious. Would that be going to happen?

Obviously, it's not actually going to happen, but, like, if it did, I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, but he's kind of a lib, though. Like, even though he is a perv,, but he's kind of a lib though. Even though he is a perv, he's kind of a little bit... Him and Tank going back and forth would be great radio. Did Tank hate him? Tank hates lips. No, Tank

hates de Blasio. Yeah, he definitely hates de Blasio. But do you think that he has any personal problem with Cuomo? Probably. I know Greer seems to hate Cuomo, and I think O'Day does too. I saw a video. It was from like a year and a half ago, but it was resurfacing. Somebody walking by de Blasio.

De Blasio says to them, like, hey, how's it going? And he's just like, living in the fucking nightmare that you created. I might actually have him pull it up. That's created. I might actually have him pull it up. You might as well pull that bad boy up. You gotta be quick to do something like that. Or just have the hatred brewing in you at all times. He was already mad.

Oh, how are you doing? Not good, you fucking rat scumbag. That's what he said? That's fucking great. What's Chris Cuomo going to say? Like, what's his bro-bro going to say? Is he going to be able to defend him? Not fucking good, you fucking rat, scumbag, fucking fag.

Whoa! Not fucking good, you fucking rat, scumbag, fucking fag. You're in the wrong fucking city, you fucking scumbag. Oh, take your fucking mask off, you fucking scumbag, fucking fag. You're in the wrong fucking city, you fucking scumbag. Oh, take your fucking mask off, you fucking scumbag. Fuck you. Fuck all you motherfuckers. de Blasio, you're a fucking, fucking cunt rag. He was speaking from his heart.

You'll have to excuse the language. We don't condone language like that, but this is also, we're just playing somebody else's clip, but wow. That was Roan. That was your clip, right? You rat scumbag.

That guy has such a good New York accent. I know. That'd be great if that was just a pub. I know. Just Tom Lay. The only true New Yorker. That's how I saw it. Tom Lay retweeted it. You rat scumbag.

That was a crazy accent. He sounded like Myers Lansky. He sounded like he was in Boardwalk Empire or some shit. We've talked about how Boston and New York accents are a choice, right? Yeah. Oh, you turn it up and you turn it down. I just think they're not as many people have them as people think. You fucking rat.

But some of the people also... I think people think everyone in Boston has a Boston accent. I've met one person with a Boston accent. I also think it's how... What neighborhood do you come from? I think that Bobby Lang, for example, the South Shore guy, rough and rowdy, heavyweight

champion. So is this girl WWE? Or does she just walk laps around the office? Like, she doesn't, like, so that's all fake, right? Like, she's not actually fighting people. Yeah, like, she's not actually tough. She's, like, basically just an actress. Like, if you wanted to, you could. Yeah.

You could have pretty good. Yeah. All right. That's basically what I was asking. Like, do I have to square up with her? Do I take her? She's walking around the office super cocky. Does she need to be put down a peg?

Is she an alpha? Sass, what would the purse have to be for you to fight in rough and rowdy? I don't know. I have zero interest. $200,000. How much of that do I actually get to take home? $100,000. Maybe half of it.

Yeah. Maybe. Perfect. All right, Dave. Here's our offer. Probably not, though. Would you fight Keemstar? No.

Keemstar's a grown man. It would be hilarious. He has man strength. If you beat Keemstar, that would be fucking hilarious. In no way do I beat Keemstar. I don't really think... No, I don't think I would do it. I don't think I have any beat Keemstar, that would be fucking hilarious. In no way do I beat Keemstar. I don't really think, no, I don't think I would do it. I don't think I have any interest

in getting my ass beat. Would you fight World of T-shirts? Like, maybe. Probably not. So you want to fight that you're going to win? I would definitely win fighting World of T-shirts,

but I don't feel like fighting him. Who would you list as the top seven alphas in the office? True alphas. Not including you. You can't say yourself. Alphas, alphas, alphas.

I don't know. Who would you list? Stephen Che. Would you list Stephen Che as one of the alphas of the office? Totally. Stephen, you consider yourself an alpha? When I want to be. All I know is I saw Stephen Che walk out of that meeting the other day,

and he looked like he was about to start crying. What meeting? What meeting? What meeting are you talking about? Did that not happen? Did you have a weepy meeting? Wasn't Che super pissed because of a meeting? His Weebly review?

No. It wasn't alpha mentality is all I'm trying to say. What happened, Steven? Are you okay? I don't know. I've never been weepy at work. Checking on your strong face. Also confirmed, Alpha, you originated the big guy move.

You did. Facts. That's Alpha. Was that in the office, Alpha? There are only a select few people in the office that can probably pull off the big guy move. Brandon, obviously, we've already determined

that he's an alpha the way that he, you know, treats and attacks people. Big cat, you call big cat an alpha. You got to mush that. I mean,

what are we using as like the, what makes an alpha? Like someone who beats an alpha? Like if we were wolves, no, if we were wolves in the wild,

who would be in charge of the pack? Who's the true wolf? I don't know. No one? I feel like a lot of the company is just talking behind other people's backs and being very nice to them up in person.

Oh, yeah. Not a very alpha type thing. Like I am an internet warrior. Like in fight or flight, I'm not fighting. When's the last time you got like an internet beef? Not in like years. Keemstar. When they were saying Keemstar wanted to talk to me, I was like, I have zero interest in doing that.

You'd rather just tweet at them. Yeah. But not even – That was so long ago. That was like months ago. That was so long ago. That was last month. But it's like I don't have any –

Like I don't have any – Like if me and Keemstar – Keemstar's entire job is going up against people and like they think they're right like he's like steven crowd like steven crowder like they like you know they're gonna win the argument no matter what yeah spidey's an alpha so like yeah i'm in if i go up against keemstar it's just gonna make me look like an idiot so i have no interest in doing that when like people can call me a pussy for it but i don't care like are you talking about in a verbal altercation or yeah in a verbal altercation anything keemstar says to me i I'm probably going to bitch down and be like, yeah, no, for sure, for sure.

Big fan. Big fan, Keem. You know it's love. Yeah. You know it's love, big bro. Yeah. Big bro, I was just suggesting some things you could do differently to maybe help Operation Pro a little bit. You've said before he's one of your biggest comedic influences.

Salute. Yeah, you're obsessed with this shit. Salute to the big bro Keemstar. If he ever wants to come through to the office. Keem, FaZe Banks. Who else? Who else do you love? FaZe Brody.

FaZe Rug. FaZe Rug. The entire FaZe clan. The Ball Brothers. Ball Brothers are three Major League Baseball players who have been taking over. There's these Japanese dudes. I know who the Ball Brothers are Three major league baseball players Who have been taking over There's these Japanese dude I know who the ball brother is LiAngelo Ball

The Japanese dude So is his nephews Sammy Not Chief Keef Yeah Yeah For sure For sure

We already fucking know about that What we're gonna do now is We're gonna end the fucking show We're gonna Go get some fucking snacks fucking fuel up protein season sun's going down before eight o'clock it is bulking season now listen to you go listen to son of a boy son of a boy dad buy a t-shirt episodes out now episode is out now on spotify youtube should be coming out soon help sass grow on other socials so Gaz can get off of his ass.

Yeah, apparently I need to grow on other socials. Gaz is riding your ass. That's going to be keeping you up at night. No. That's going to be fucking haunting you. I'm not worried about it. You're going to be taking an Instagram vignette. Here's a little secret about Instagram.

First post of the day, make sure it's a picture of your face. Second post, make it be a poll. Did you hear Tim Dillon got Spotify exclusive? What does that mean? Like he got a Spotify exclusive offer? He got money? He's getting paid? Yeah.

Like probably like the Alex Cooper deal? You think it's me and all of us on the way here. We don't know how much we think it is. Because didn't he shout you out this morning? He said you're one of the best brodies on all way here. We don't know how much we think it is. Because didn't he shout you out this morning? He said, you're one of the best brodies on all of... Twitter. Has he listened to the podcast? Because him, like, pumping your Twitter

doesn't really help the podcast. You know what I mean? I actually think that was really good because I think people... My last tweets are the podcast. Okay. So then people will see that

and then they'll go maybe listen to the podcast. I mean, his fan base is podcast listeners. Yeah, yeah. That's true. That's true. Maybe we'll get more views today. Not that we don't even need any more. It's not really a view problem.

We're all good on listeners. I think we're kind of tapped out. We're trying to take over the fucking world. Steven, tell us about the numbers. Yeah, Steven, give us the numbers from last episode. When was the last episode? It just dropped, right?

No, no, no, not today. The episode from last week. I mean, you guys have been putting up numbies. It's been good. Why is it such a big deal for us to know how much listens they get? Yeah, how much listens does they get? No one will tell me. I feel like a lot of people don't know how much listens they get. Yeah, how much listens does they get? No one will tell me. I feel like a lot of people

don't know where to get that info. Can you get it? Is it public? Can you give us a stadium that it would fill? I'll have to look. Alright, text us a stadium after the show. This shit is so cryptic. I fucking love it. I know. It's fucking juicy.

I want to know, but I don't want to know. I want to know. I'm a numbers guy. And I want to know every single week, too. Because you let it determine your self-worth. Because I want it to grow. I like to know it's doing well. And if it ever starts backsliding, you will spiral into a deep depression.

Look, they're looking right now. Shut up. Zah's laughing. Zah's laughing at it. He's pointing at us. He's cackling. I'm trying to get a peek of Back Again too.

Yeah, what's Back Again? I know the YouTube. The YouTube does not be. Yeah, we're YouTubers. How are you looking? How are you looking? It's on his laptop. Get in there, Owen.

So I see publisher login. Okay, what's publisher login? What's the password? I don't understand how we can't know. Get in there, Owen. So I see publisher login. Okay, what's publisher? What's the password? Okay, publisher login. We got the password, dude. I don't understand how we can't know. Like, because if it's bad, then... No, because it's good. No, no, no, I'm saying not us.

Yeah. Yeah, oh, that's true. They're trying to keep us down. That's a 60-mail Spotify deal. Yes, dude. They're trying to fucking squash our fucking voices. Oh, shit. It's good.

I saw a number, and then he moved it. All right, end the show. End the show. End the show. This shit is a fucking true cliffhanger. Is it eight figures? Find out tomorrow. We'll see you next time.