The Yak - Gics, Max Homo, and Prank Calls

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

These gics out here pulling out quarters from behind my ear!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Another week, and it truly was our best work that we've ever had today. How do I know that? How do I know that? Because the people, you are the company that you keep. You are what you eat, and you are the company you keep. And I'm here with Caleb, Nick, and Owen. You're the average of the eat and you are the company you keep and i'm here with caleb nick

and owen yeah you're the average of the the five people you know the most yeah you're average of them so like my mom and dad uh-huh you're average of your mom and dad that's definitely true you're average of your mom and dad i got a uh sibling you Your average of your sibling? KB. Kyle is one. I don't know KB in one bit. And then Owen or Jeff D. Lowe is probably coming up on your list, being your next closest boys.

Do you think Jeff D. Lowe's bring your average up or slightly down? Jeff D. Lowe. Head to toe on Lowe, I think that his calves bring your average up. Okay. His propensity towards wearing shorts brings your shorts up. I hate shorts. Yeah. He looks way better in shorts than you do.

But on average, you all look pretty decent in shorts. Yeah, I guess you're right. Caleb's also back. He's wearing some of his brightest shit today. And I don't know if that plays into it, but I heard from a bird, Caleb, that Owen is intimidated by you. Yeah, he did say that. I thought we might as well have a little happy court and kind of get to the bottom of that. What's going on?

He's been saying that to other people, like everybody. That's not true. I think I said it to one person, but yeah, I was a little intimidated by you. And why you say that to someone else? Why do you say that you're intimidated, Owen? I don't know. I guess I was starting to get comfortable, and then your presence being brought in made me uncomfortable. What happened?

But not out of disrespect. That's so disrespectful. No. He makes you uncomfortable? It's actually out of the utmost respect. I'll take that then, I guess. Yeah. How are you guys going to build up and get on the on a better page

because I feel like this page is the wrong one team build yeah I gotta work on trying to see him as a how about a trust fall boys instead of

how about a trust fall no what Owen did is he worked his way into my good graces what'd he do how'd he do it is it in the best of your gift gifts

probably not it wasn't good radio. You gave a good gift. Yeah, he gave out some good gifts. That's my love language, I think. Getting things. Material items. Foam balls. Would you wear this sweatshirt? You want it?

Sure. Don't do that. Don't, don't, don't, Nick. This is a thing that Nick does. He doesn't like anything that much, but he likes giving stuff so much to other people that he'll like he's always trying to i know he gave me a sweatshirt last week i know no it's a thing like um i don't i don't think i have the ability to like anything um and it sucks yeah but so when somebody says hey i like your sweatshirt i know they like it more than I do. So I give it to them. Do you have the ability to hate?

And it's serious. This is no bit a bit. I really think that you just like to you just don't like any material things. You're so immaterial. Yeah, maybe. I love my homies. You guys. For real?

Wouldn't give you away for anything. Would you give one of your homies to another homie? I'd have to. My hand would be forced. Dude, I did some voiceovers on these mics the other last week, and I realized that I have a... I say my S is funny, especially when I say them right into the mic.

I have a little thing on my S's, and I've been really self-conscious about it. They're crisp. But not in a good way. You sound like the snake in Jungle Book. I sound like a parcel tongue off Harry Potter. Also a a snake you know yeah i'm on my snake shit yeah you are for sure caleb would know about that i dined him out wow oh yeah put you in the put you in jail yeah that's true put my boy in jail for a lesser sentence it made me feel good though the

other day i did i was in an interview with mike irving and he was like you ever think about going to jail it's like i've been in jail that's a that's a good thing to be able to say i never heard anyone call mike irving mostly because people call mike and his last name because it's just not his name yeah it's a different name than he has it makes it sound like it's a verb like he's he's irving like he's being very irv this is the yak podcast and we're talking about voices. I remember my first appearance on the Yak. I got a tweet or – yeah, it was a tweet. It was just like, get this gay museum curator off the Yak.

Yeah. I remember that. God damn. Gay museum curator will stick with you. Yeah. It stuck with me. Because it's – I mean, we litigated it at the time. Is it a gay museum that they're curating, or is it a gay guy who's curating a museum?

I like to think it's both. I feel like if you're just saying museum curator, it's already, it's implied. No, it's, yeah, so it has to be a gay museum. Yeah, exactly. It's on a 10 by 12 canvas. It's called Man Fucks Man by M.C. Escher. You can't tell where one man ends and the other begins. It's like the infinity stairs of dudes fucking each other.

Oh, my God. It's beautiful, honestly. If you have enough guys plugged into one another, that is the ultimate infinity. It's just a beautiful idea. It's a beautiful thought. And I like that we got there off of just some real earnest conversation. Yeah, you guys make people laugh out of nothing, and that's what you did on Friday.

What'd you do Friday? Bro, why are you trying to rush this thing along? Bro, you got two wheels and giving me a tour? Because you're segueing, baby. Yeah, brother, that's heavy-handed Segway, too, bro. You're about to crash that thing, dude. God damn. All right, keeping us on track.

You've got places to be. All right, Friday. Are you in a rush, Owen? What do you have to do later on today? Snow and Owen? You have to fucking get home? Yeah, fuck it. Friday.

Yeah, yeah, Friday. Fake trivia. Funny show. We had a funny-ass show. We were calling up people, and we were pretending to be trivia trivia folks and uh the results were hilarious and i i'm using no hyperbole run say no more let's get right into it stupid row what's the best question to prank someone with fake dozens trivia? That should be the question. No. In septum. What about a table tennis question? Nah.

You guys are giving me shitty questions. I don't care what the question is. I don't care what you care. Wow, that was good. The master impressionist again. I'll get you a fucking question. I'm just gonna Google hardest golf trivia ever. Ask him the benefits of a Roth IRA.

Yeah, list three benefits. All right. Three benefits of a Roth. Quick, quick, quick, though. Quick, quick, quick, quick. Quick, quick, quick, quick. There you go, Owen. Let's go, Owen.

Be a part of the solution, not the problem. This is actually just something I wanted the answer to, but yeah. We're calling auto warranty services. To opt out from our calling list. What? What is this? problem. This is actually just something I wanted the answer to, but yeah. What? Oh, fuck. You definitely didn't put the right number in. Obviously. Give it to me again. Yeah.

Writing the number down now By writing down He's putting it in his phone This is the prank He's just gonna call different numbers What's up? Sorry, who's that? Is this Lurch? Hey, this is KB.

I work for Barstool too. Oh, nice. So I'm on a dozen trivia show and I'm using a lifeline. Okay. Can I put you on speaker when we can? No, no. Yeah, you can. We need 30 no. Yeah, yeah, you can.

What is that? We need 30 seconds. Quick, quick, quick, quick. I need three benefits of a Roth IRA. There's five total. I just need three of them. Three benefits. Do you need like the exact benefits?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's five. I just need three. Deferred tax rates? Okay. That's one. Deferred tax rates? That's five. I just need three. Deferred tax rates. Okay. That's one. That's one. Deferred tax rates.

That's one. Health benefits. Benefits of a Roth IRA. All right. All right. 15 seconds. Come on. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Oh, you get... 10. You get put up to $7,000 a year. Put up to $7,000 a year? Okay. That's two. Okay. One more. Hurry, hurry, hurry. You up to $7,000 a year? Okay, that's two. Okay, one more.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. You got this. And rock, rock. Seven seconds. Rock, rock. Whatever you got. Five. Seven seconds.

Do you have anything? No, I got nothing. Hurry. Seven seconds. Three. Ten seconds. Two. You got it.

Just give me what you got. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, fuck. Come on. Oh, they're large. I got nothing. Oh, my God. Oh, he fucked fuck. Fuck, fuck. Come on. Oh, they're large. I got nothing. Oh, my God. Oh, he fucked us.

All right, so I got to call Frankie with a question. What should I do? That was great. Deferred taxes. No, it has to be a... Get him an Islanders question. Yeah. Or Borelli's, like an Italian food question. He was right there with the deferred taxes.

How many types of chicken parma... No, how deferred taxes. How many types of chicken Parmesan? No, how many types of... How many things can you Parmesan? No. What are the five most popular cheeses at an Italian restaurant? I'm going to call Trent after you. The five most...

According to 2019. In 2019, the five most popular... Zagat. In 2019, the five most popular... In the Italian restaurant. Before the Feta boom. Here we go. Yo. Yo. I'm on dozens.

I'm playing against KB. We got a question. You're the yo. Yo. I'm on dozens. I'm playing against KB. We got a question I needed. You're the guy. Okay. All right. In 2019, according to Zagat, they listed the top five most popular cheeses at an Italian restaurant. What are they? Mozzarella.

Okay. Five. We need all five. We need all five. That counts? Mozzarella. Mozzarella.. We need all five. We need all five. That counts. Mozzarella. Is that mozzarella? Yep.

Okay. Parmesan. Rigata. Rigata. Yep. Come on. Come on. Come on, dude.

Come on. Ten seconds. Ten seconds. Ten. Ten. Come on. Nine. Come on.

Eight. Frankie, come on. dude. Come on. Ten seconds. Ten seconds. Ten. Come on. Nine. Come on. Eight. Frankie, come on. Frankie. Frankie. I'm trying. Make it Jesus, dude. Three. Come on, dude.

Two. Oh, you. Ah. Provolone. Provolone. One more. One more. Let's see it.

Check it. Check it. Check it. One more. Two. One more. One. Come on, Frankie. Fuck. Fight's see it. It's right there. One more. Two. One more. One. Come on, Frankie.

Fuck. Fight Frankie. Fuck. You had four out of five. How did you not get Parmesan? He didn't. He didn't get Parmesan. I got Parmesan.

We didn't get the fit. He didn't say Gorgonzola. He didn't say Gorgonzola. Or American. Gorgonzola. Dude. How do you not get Gorgonzola? All right. Thanks. We don't have one dick ever. I like the Gorgonzola. Dude. How do you know about that Gorgonzola? All right, thanks.

We don't have one dick ever on the Gorgonzola. Dude, we'll fucking figure it out. All right, well, thank you anyway. Goodbye. Should I call Trent? Yeah. On average, wait, no matter what he says, it's going to be right. On average, how many kernels are on a piece, a single cob of yellow dent corn?

The number he says is right, right? Yeah, any number he says. And it's like, yeah, that's exactly right. You're way better than everyone else. Or we got to be like, just go with it. Just go with it. Give it like 60 seconds. Because yours was a food category.

Be like, hey, Big Cat, just call the food question up. You're on my team. We have a food question. Oh, my God god this is great you don't have a single dish with gorgon dude let me down dude he let me down people really panic and freak out when they're put on the spot with especially like we have to name multiple is it lurch a finance guy yeah deferred tax rates is like holy shit this guy's smart you got that trent trent trent trent it's me and kb again so no no no no how do i get this thing working trent trent he's here he's here he's on he's on all right it's up it's me and kb again they had food question. It's our food question. We need to know, on average, how many kernels are on a single cob of classic yellow dent corn?

So, do I have to be within a certain number? It's within 200 kernels. 14. With 14 seconds. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I'm going to say... Fuck. Trent, just say anything. I'm going to say 650 kernels. 650 14 seconds. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I'm going to say... Fuck. Trent, just say anything.

I'm going to say 650 kernels. 650 kernels. Jeff, 650 kernels. That's a goal! Holy shit, you got it! There's the blindfolded half-court shot, and the whole stadium goes crazy. That's the high we're chasing right now. Yeah.

Fuck, that was a high, though. Oh, yeah. Trent's got to be. You guys got yours wrong? Lurch, Frankie, dumbasses. You're fucking idiots. Gorgonzola, obviously. He was probably saying Gorgonzola the whole time.

All right. I want to do White Sox, Dave, or Smith. White Sox, Dave might be good. Going through a whole group of people who are with each other is also a white Sox Dave would be yeah but I think they're all together yeah but I think so if Riggs is just there like why didn't they call me for

he was definitely say what's up hey Riggs what's up man just want to say hey no no what's I want to do White Sox Dave with okay you call Dave Portnoy and be like you're on the dozen I just want to call somebody randomx Dave. Okay. Call Dave Portnoy and be like, you're on the dozen. You want to call somebody random from Rome? What do you want for lunch?

Go ahead and just give him a call. Oh, he's calling. Dave's calling. Dave, Dave, Dave. Is it too late? No, no, no. We just got 30 seconds. All right.

Three U.S. presidents turned 55 whilst in office. Name two of them. I don't fucking know. Woodrow Wilson, Abraham Lincoln. I just need two. Woodrow Wilson and John Kennedy. Wilson and Kennedy. That's Jeff.

Grover Cleveland. uh woodrow wilson and john kennedy uh wilson and kennedy that's jeff uh grover cleveland uh cleveland hey let's go what oh my god yeah kenny died when he was 44 and lincoln i think he Lincoln, the most dead president. The most famously young dead president. Oh, this is great. What a rush. What a high. Somewhat.

Was that shit funny or what, Kalo? Yes. I don't want to gas you, but. Pretty good. Pretty good shit. Pretty funny stuff. Pretty funny. Pretty funny stuff. We were just feeling loose.

I don't know if it was just the vibes in the air or just the camaraderie or maybe it was that that stuff we were sipping on that 10 to 1 that 10 to 1 rum. Oh, my God. Yes, sir. That 10 to 1 rum. Now the official and official sponsor of the Yak. And man, is it the best rum? I think this coming week, I'm about to get a little bit more of this 10 to one. Slop it in some nog, a little egg nog.

And then suddenly I'm drinking 10 to one rum and enjoying a holiday spirit. You're on with the dark or the white. Yeah, I was going to ask that. What's the earnest question? What's the thought process behind which one you choose? enjoying a holiday spirit. You're on with the dark or the white. Yeah, I was going to ask that. Earnest question. What's the thought process behind which one you choose? Well, I mean, if you like a seven-year-old aged rum in a bourbon barrel, I'd recommend the dark. Well, it's actually eight years old, my dumb bitch.

Wow, it's been a year already. Yeah, it's gotten older and it it always is but uh i mean 2012 was one of the best years for for dark rum uh down in barbados and that's exactly where this rum is from it's a dark rum blend from barbados down in the uh the dominican republic trinidad and jamaica so they're taking a little bit from all these different places and kind of making a super rum. It's like Captain Planet kind of. It's aged in ex-bourbon barrels for all you whiskey and bourbon lovers. A little extra flavor in there. Made without additives of any kind.

No sugar flavoring or coloring. So you know that you're only getting that pure, tasty shit. Honestly, I don't know if this is true or science, but I like to tell myself that that's why I don't get hangovers when I drink a 10 to 1 rum because they don't have the extra stuff in it. They don't have all these extra additives. It can be enjoyed neat on the rocks, splash of soda water in an old-fashioned or

in a holiday eggnog. Wow. A little nutmeg on top of that nog, just a little sprinkle, a little cinnamon. Oh, and if your palate's more keen to a tequila or mezcal, On top of that nog, just a little sprinkle, a little cinnamon. Bro. Owen. Owen. And if your palate's more keen to a tequila or mezcal type taste, we got the white rum as well. Yes, dude.

And also, it's an unaged blend because you know that they're doing it this year better than they've ever done it with the white rum. And that's that Dominican-Jamaican little amalgamation right there it's been ranked uh one of the best rums in the entire world uh from all the stuff that i'm hearing it's making a ton of waves winning a bunch of awards it took home the best rum at the la spirit awards and again no additives no coloring it's just pure clean cocktail just a little coconut water bam you're on the islands. And the dark rum is great for you bourbon drinkers out there, like I said. The white rum is great for the mezcal drinkers.

It's a beautiful bottle. I got some at the crib right now. I've got some in the office. We're going to be drinking it whenever we're yakking. It's just the way that we roll right now. And 10 to 1 is offering all listeners 20% off at shop10toone.com using the code yak. I'm sorry. Shop 10 to 1 using the code yak, 20% off. Drink how we drink.

Get your spirits through your spirits and enjoy yourself. Roan, I don't know how they make that rum because it goes down so easily, and I usually struggle with liquor. They must have used some sort of witchcraft or even magic to make—oh, fuck. Bro, are you seriously going to just say, fuck, that? Can you censor that? Steve, be sure to censor that. Yeah, we ran into some problems this week around the magic community. Excuse me.

I'm saying it as an anthropological term. But there's some slurs about the magic community, Caleb. And their culture is not a costume. It's been a long time. Caleb, you weren't here. It's been a long time since a slur has been invented. Can you remember the last one? You were just saying it.

You were calling a woman it. I just didn't know when they started it. Oh, yeah. I don't know how long it's been around. Well, we decided on Wednesday. Nope. Tuesday. Monday.

On Monday. On Monday. They start coming and they freaking don't stop coming, man. I've had a little too much 10 to 1. Yeah, you have. I'm drunk. Focus up. You drunk. Drunk to 1. Yeah, you have. I'm drunk. Focus up. You drunk.

Drunk man. But yeah, we made a new slur and it's a jick. And you just shuddered because it sounds offensive. It's short for a magic user. Magicians. Fucking jicks. Why don't you say it? You don't want to.

I don't want to. You don't want to. You can tell because it sounds bad. I have a good opportunity at and having a i'm not saying a long career i could do a couple more years you know and it's like why put myself risking canceled right off the bat yeah it is playing with fire but it's that danger that that kind of makes you feel a little bit alive and uh just like the discovery process and being able to kind of live on the edge, knowing that when you look back in history,

it's going to be bad what we're doing. So it's just like that very in the moment, it was the most 2020 thing ever. Jik, and this is that segment. We got a new show for you. For me? Yeah. What's it called?

Knicks in the Office. Yeah, that's pretty good. My name does rhyme with a lot of things. Well, not that many. Dick, lick, prick. Yeah, probably one pretty good. My name does rhyme with a lot of things. Well, not that many. Dick, lick, prick. One for every letter. One for every letter, I'd say. Zick.

Zam, Zeddy, look at your Zick. Zick. That's a thing. Did you guys win? No, no, no. You guys needed to win. Yeah, we did. He's still thinking about gambling as his problem. I keep on telling him, Frank, stop focusing on gambling.

You need to have a short memory. But he winds up forgetting that. Is there a letter that doesn't have an ick word? Jick. There's no jick. That sounds like a racial slur. That's my favorite types of words because we can still say them. A Jewish man from Arkansas.

He's a jick. He's a chick. He's a real chick. That sounds really dirty. It sounds bad. It's hurtful to say. Really bad. Yo, Owen, for me? Let's do a video where we say chick in front of people who

look like they would be a chick. Yo, you fucking chick. That sounds really bad. That sounds so bad. you fucking chick. Yeah, that sounds really bad. That sounds so bad. We're going to find out that it is bad. We definitely just canceled ourselves. Yeah, we can't. Oh, if that is something.

I'm tired of these fucking chicks. What's next? We got all these chicks running around Chelsea fucking Midtown. These chicks pricing me out of my fucking apartment. Make the blue hairs on her head stand up. The real problem with the economy is all the jicks. That is terrible.

That's so bad. Wait, let's look this up. Yeah, that's so bad. We might have fucked ourselves. We might have fucked ourselves. That might be a slur. I just put the headphones back on and that sounds bad. That was, yeah, that's bad.

Do we fuck ourselves i think it doesn't seem to be oh no i think go to urban dictionary so now this could be the start of a new slur yeah no let's pick who it's for that's a word that should have been a long time ago yeah does it rhyme with the slur no No. No. No, but it's got... It's also like around a couple slurs. Yeah, it's a hybrid. Yeah. Okay.

Well, Urban Dictionary says it's a stupid, foolish, dim-witted, stinky, or otherwise undesirable person, place, thing, event, or memory. Wait, so that's real? No, no. Go get Tommy or someone.

Grab someone from... No, no, no. Jack. No. Brandon. Got to be starting something. See how it sounds when we say it to someone else. I think it's going to sound bad.

I think that if Stephen Chase said it, it would say like jick. He would give it the soft, the JPP jick. Maybe he's one to ask. What'd you get? Tommy's not out there. Grab someone. There weren't great choices. Someone.

Are we grabbing a jick? Yeah, we're trying to grab a jick. Let's talk to them about something else and nonchalantly weave it in. But like, we should, whoever says it, we should be like, oh, dude. Yeah, everyone else has to be like, oh. No, not him. No. Okay. No. Okay.

No. No. Everybody's a no. No. Do we want, do we want, do we want, are we grabbing a jake or somebody who would be... Here we go. Josh. Yeah. Josh. Josh. Come here for a sec. What?

There's a we use that mic. Josh here. What what are you? What time are we doing advisors? I think whenever Dave whenever Dave comes in, I think you had you had a special idea for advisors that he has to prepare for. No, I was more asking because it's like the worst part of my day is I have to be with this chick over here. Dude. Jesus. What the fuck? What? Disrespected?

You're a chick. Stop saying that. That sounds bad. No, we just literally just came up. We just stumbled upon this word. It sounds like it should be a slur. So we're testing it out. Did it sound bad? It sounded bad, but I couldn't really understand it, so I just kind of rolled with it. Out of power of the word. It sounds like it should be a slur. So we're testing it out. Did it sound bad? It sounded bad, but I couldn't really understand it, so I just kind of rolled with it.

Out of power of the word. We're going to keep working on it. I actually knew what time advisors was. That was just casual. Hey, Dana! Here we go. What up? Come in here, kid. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude, why you got me such a jick?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Come on, man. Are we on a delay? Oh, kid. Dude, why you be such a jick? Oh, Jesus Christ. Are we on a delay? I'm sorry. I should have said that. So we have a question for you and the other jicks around here. Jesus Christ. KB, don't say that.

Are you pissed? I don't know what you guys are talking about. I don't even want to say it. No, you're a jick. Oh, there's a jick. Oh, Dana! How can you say that? We're live on air right now. We are on air.

We're not on break. Oh, Jesus Christ. Does that mean like magic? No. That's what we call magicians. Wait, magicians and wizards. Wait, that's good. Dana Blaine's one of my favorite jicks.

Yo, fuck these jicks. Always guessing my fucking card. So, Dana, you just ruined the slur. You actually just completely took away our slur.

You took it back. Now it's back. You're a magician, dude. He's motherfucking... I'm proud of myself. No, it's over. A jick is no longer

a slur because now it's a magician. It's a slur for magicians. There's fucking jicks in my neighborhood pulling quarters from behind my fucking ear. Jeez, the jick's camping out. What the fuck's next? Pick a card looking ass. Long ass hanky coming out of their fucking throat.

I got a ball under a cup. I never can guess which one. Fucking jick. My jick made my girlfriend disappear. Yeah. Fucking bullshit, dude. I was playing Monty. Fucking arrest this jick. Clouded dust with this jick. Yeah, he bullshit, dude. I was playing Monty. Fucking arrest this chick.

Clouded dust with this chick. Yeah, he just, he changed him. Yeah, he did. Billy will be really sensitive to it. Billy! Come here. Billy, what up? So, the elephant and the lion.

Yeah, can we settle the elephant and the lion thing once and for all? Because you had some good math on that. Yeah, I got exact. Okay. What? Say what it is. Break? Say what it is. Break it down what it is. So it's 23, right?

You had a 23? Yeah, so I took the average of the three most common subspecies of elephant. The African great... Can you talk into the mic, you fucking chick? Whoa! Shut the fuck up! What kind of slur is that? Holy...

We're on break. What century is that from is that? What? Holy. What? We're on. We're on. We're on. What century is that from? What the fuck? We. We. I don't care how old. I don't care if it's an old English word. You still can't say that.

That's like. I called you a jick, bro. Fuck you. What is that a slur for? Jesus. I know that's targeted towards something about. Yeah. Why don't you.

I don't know which part. Why don't you guess what part about you that is? Okay. Jick. Stop saying it. Don't say it. I can about it. Yeah, why don't you guess what part about you that is? Jik. Stop saying it. Don't say it. I can say it. I'm allowed to say it.

You're allowed to say it. I'm allowed to say it. You are. As a Jik, you're allowed to say it. I feel like it's, I don't know if it's ethnic, socioeconomic. Just guess.

What about you? Yeah. Probably cross off ethnic, socioeconomic... Just guess. What about you? Yeah. Probably cross-off ethnic, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I was calling you magician. Oh! Yeah. Not a big deal. I know magic. Yeah. No, you're a jick.

But like in a bad way, though. Like a sneaky magician. Poof. Yeah, but in a bad... Yeah, but in In like sneaky way Like oh you can't Trust yourself around That jick Oh Jesus

Just don't say the hard K Just call him a jid Alright Billy That was all we had African Great Plains Nope No we didn't We don't actually

Don't care about that Alright We just wanted to test out Our new slur And you had a great reaction Shit new slur just drops Yeah Yo tune in the act This week Best of We dropped Shit, new slur just drops.

Yo, tune in to Yak this week. Best of. We dropped the hottest new slur on the streets. That was good delivery. And I knew his reaction because he's very scared of being cancelled. So like whenever you even like insinuate. He's hyper aware. Yeah. Let's get somebody in and just be like, hey, a caller called you a

J-I-C-K. What are you going to do about it? No, it's G-I-C, I think. If it's a magician. Oh, shit. Yeah, I think it's G-I-C. It's a G-I-C now. Yeah.

It's a J-I-C. Oh, that sounds Italian. That sounds like an Italian shit. Go get your gravy, you J-I-C. Fuck. Fucking J-I-C. If I do the show, it really is going to be a sl dick. Fuck. Fucking dick. It's really a slur. Jicks.

Oh my God. Damn. Fucking jicks. Fuck no, I'm not going to Las Vegas for your bachelor party. What are you going to stay at the fucking Luxor? That jick David Blaine lives in the back. Who's that fucking angel jick taking up all my fucking time, breathing underwater and whatnot? You got to be a whole fucking jick.

I don't trust any of them jicks. I don't trust a jick. Or are they fucking flying? They're fucking levitating like a couple of fairies. Fucking jicks. Oh my god. Well, came up with a new hottest slur. Jik.

It has to be the Orlando basketball team. Jean Jik. They have to change their name. Yeah. We saw what happened in Washington and Cleveland. Yep. The Orlando Jiks. It's a slur.

The Orlando Jiks. And it's just a guy levitating as their logo. We got the Jicks tonight, minus 10. This is so fucked up. It's so fucked. They have to change their name. They do. I'm offended.

We should have a bunch of magicians have a rally outside of a magic game to try and have them change their name. The Jicks. It's a general term for all magicians. Our culture is not a costume. If they were called the Blanes, that's fine. the name. It's a general term for all magicians. Our culture is not a costume. That's fine. But a generalized term? The Blanes are a proud tribe.

The Blanes are a tribe. Some heritage there. Yeah, we respect the Blanes' heritage. It's not derogatory. We, it's just honoring, celebrating, honoring, honoring the Blaine tribe. Three different points.

Yeah. But just our advisory board. This is one of those moments where I wish we could just end the show. I know. I want to censor button. I want to censor. Yeah. Overlaying.

Yeah. Jean-Jacques Rousseau. All right, let's take a break and we'll reset. Can we come back with that B.O.B. song with Rivers Cuomo? Yes. Yeah, cool. I got the JIC. The clean version.

The radio version. What would it be? I got the illusions. I got the illusions. I got the illusions. All right, we'll be back right after this. The Yak. Dirty. It feels dirty.

It feels dirty on your ears. Listening back to that like we just did, I don't like, I didn't, that was the past me. I've changed. Yeah. I apologize. It was a different time. It was a way different time on Monday when we did that. And here's the

clip from Tuesday when we brought back the entire clip and ran it back again with the fellow from England. We decided to run it back again. So we learned a little bit, but also we unlearned what we learned and we tried to spring Jik on our buddy Troops from England and he was a little bit confused

as well. Are we doing a game watch tomorrow? Yeah. One o'clock? I don't even know what time the game starts. I'm a bigger gooner than you. Nah, you're a fraud fan. I'm a gooner than you. Bigger gooner than you.

Is a gooner a gunner? Gooner, gunner. You could use both still. I say I'm a gunner. Gunner. Gunner. You could use both still. I say I'm a gunner. Gunner's more, there's more force behind gunner. What about when people say, what about when people call us jicks? Whoa. Jesus.

Jicks. What the fuck? What's that? Don't say that. Hold on, hold on. What the fuck? Hey, hey. What's that?

You can't say that. My bad. Are we good? What's that? What's what? You can't say. Oh My bad. What's that? What's what? You can't say. Oh, I don't know. Like someone who does illusions and tricks.

Like someone, magic. Someone who does magic. So like Houdini. Oh, yeah. He's a big time chick. Yeah. See, I'm learning new words. So if I go back to London and say that.

Oh, yeah. How would you say it, though? A jick will make you disappear. You're a jick, blood. You got hate behind your heart. Yeah, you have to. It sounds like a... Say it more hateful.

Was this your card? Nah, blood. That's that jick over there. That's how you got to over there. You understand? That's how you got to do it. You get me? That's how you got to do it. Yeah.

I don't even know what game. Honestly, I don't know what time the game is. Well, we created it yesterday. Out of thin air. Out of thin air. Kind of what a jick would do. Whoa. Are we jicks?

So who was actually the first jick? Jesus. Yeah. Mr. Christ. Water to wine. God. Water to wine. Call him a jick in the most hateful way possible.

Nah. I'm trying to. Not Jesus. Not Jesus, Nick. Copper feet. I ain't trying to burn. I've done enough shit that's going to send me hell blood. I don't need to add another one to the list.

Dude, but think about all your sins. He's like, yeah, but what did you call me? That's what I'm saying. Am I too far? He'll let me off for everything. He'll be like, you called me a jit, no troops. I can't be having that one. You're burning for eternity, brother.

You get me? That is what Jesus would say. I swear to God. It's mad fun. That's the maddest thing I've heard today, blood. When you said jit, I thought that was like another word for a chick. No. Because it rhymes like.

Yeah. I tried to do a British accent there and I didn't want to. You didn't even try. No, I didn't. I started to and I was, I can only start, I can only turn on British mode by starting with oi. And then I, that's all I can do. That oi even sounded Australian.

Yeah, I can't do it. Oi. What were you thinking? I can't do it. I can't do a British accent. That's close. Can't do a British accent. Who are you channeling? You probably just don't consume enough British shit. It was do it. I can't do a British accent. That's close. Can't do a British accent. Who are you channeling?

You probably just don't consume enough British shit. It was this kid I went to school with, Kyle Smith. Kyle Smith? Yeah. Where was he from? He was from Cambridge. Cambridge. I kind of got to do a goofy face to make an accent.

Cambridge. You sound like, yeah, you have a... I sound like a chimney sweep, kind of. You sound like a... Oh, my God. Know, this is reminding me of... What? You've seen it, Nick. The unreleased travel show when you were in the...

One of the best performances you've ever put on, period. Ah! Off top. At the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio, Roan impersonating a British rock star. Is that out? I don't think we ever put that out. You gotta.

We should almost figure out how to do it. Yo, can I leak it? Let's cut it up real short. We just gotta cut it up real short. I'll leak it. I'll upload it to DatPiff. Yeah, please. Put it out like a fucking mixtape.

Yeah, that one, that's just, that episode didn't even come out. We were just shooting stuff and it just never, Cleveland never really came together, but we went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, pretended to be British guys. Caleb stage-dived off the stage of the Rock and Roll. I think that's a big part of why it didn't come out. You broke a man's glasses.

He broke an older guy's glasses and ruined his trip. He ruined his vacation vacation he was a foreign man imagine going to a different country to see things imagine going to a different country and then going to cleveland yeah that's on him that was a misstep on his part but he probably was like i was gonna do his accent i'm not gonna america rock and roll i'm to. America, rock and roll. I'm going to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and see. And then he really got to see what rock and roll was about. We stormed the stage on some real rock and roll shit.

And now we're actually banned from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on some real rock and roll shit. That's the most rock and roll shit ever. I thought they moved into the Punk Rock Hall of Fame. Yeah. That's punk. Is there even a Punk Rock Hall of Fame? No way. That's the establishment. Yeah. Because that's punk. Is there even a Punk Rock Hall of Fame? No, that's too... No way, that's the establishment.

Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah, inherently it goes against its own beliefs. Can you talk about... Can you send us into the next clip of Owen getting his ass kicked as a British rock star? So this bloke Owen, right? He's trying to walk around the party saying that no one's going to mess with him. And then he realizes that he's got on some Timberland boots.

And so a man tries to slap him across his face, right? And so he boots him with his tree trunk Timberland. And well, here's the clip. All right, Owen. Boot kicking. Did you lick it? Kimberlin. Here's the clip. Alright, Owen. Boot kicking. Did you lick it? You licked the boot, didn't you?

That's your grift, huh? You spineless boot licker. Are we going to do this? Are we not? Is this like a big story for you? No, it's not a big story, but I don't need to be. You don't need to be what? Kicked in the face? What was the guy's name? The boot. Say his full name. What's the guy? Danny something.

So you know his last name? No, I really don't. Yeah, he does. Fucked your girlfriend. Then kicked you in the face with a boot? Damn. I went to a Zac Brown concert with my older sister. Makes sense. This kid from my high school was like, I don't know, yelling at her or something

so I ended up punching him and then it got broken up before I could get hit back so that was fun like perfect but then I saw him almost like a year later at a party it was like a mutual agreement we saw each other and we just like started walking to the backyard

I love it and I thought it was like I thought there was like a code. You wait and then you square up and you fight. Walking down the stairs to go to the backyard, he just put his foot out in front of me, tripped me, and then kicked me in the face. Whoa. That's a smart move by Danny. What a fucking asshole. So you lost. Yeah, but you

also won because you were not only chivalrous and a great family member, but then you also kind of a badass move to see someone a year later and be like it's on there was no words to it it was just like have you bumped into him again since let's go fucking find him that's where we're doing the live

let's jump his ass let's jump him did you bleed out your nose did he kick your nose no my whole eye was blood though and then did he just walk away after he kicked the fuck out of you? I had to head to my job at New York Community Bancorp and say I got elbowed playing basketball. Yo, fuck him.

That's assault, brother. That is assault. Yeah. And mutual combat, though. We should sue him. You guys went outside. Let's sue his ass. Do you think that every time you see him, it will be a fight?

Has to be. I don't know. It's been a few years since. It's been a few years. I'd imagine, yeah. We got to get him here. We got to get him under false pretenses. We have to call.

Yeah. Is he, do you think he's a Barstool fan? Probably. I think he wants to go to Alabama. It'd be way better to crush his dreams. Could you imagine if we, if I was like, hey man, had an eye on you, would love for you to be our intern, my intern. And we had him come in and like sit him in the room.

And then you walk in. And then you walk in and we just lock the door and you just... I'm walking with Timberlands on my hands and feet. Timberlands on your hands and feet. You lift up your shirt to reveal you're in full chain mail. It's time to die. Danny.

Let's find this guy. What if he rocks? From the story, I think he might. He might. He tripped him going down the stairs. That's genius. I have a baller move. You also were so trusting of this dude you're about to fight that you just turned your back to him.

You shared a stairwell with him. I'm not a fight guy. By all means. He let you go first. Age before beauty. I didn't know how it worked. Doesn't work like that. I've done a 180.

Danny rules. We got to get him. We should have bring him to the office though because that's like he'll get hired that's how big I've got

like if he just sets foot in here it'll be like oh Owen has arch nemesis now they fight every time they see each other we can only

do this one way legally and that's to pay the kid and they're just always fighting I haven't thought about this man in years behind the

blog Danny so how'd you get hired can't be that long 22 yeah they And that's to pay the kid. And they're just always fighting. I haven't thought about this man in years. Behind the blog, Danny. So how'd you get hired? It can't be that long. I'm 22. Yeah. They pranked me to come in here and some dude walked in the room wearing four shoes. He galloped in. Yeah.

That's one of the flow charts of getting hired by Dave. Like something along those lines. Public confrontation. Yeah. Is he? Never mind. Yeah. Is he? Never mind. He definitely is. Or here's what we do.

We interview him for real. We interview him for real. We hide you under the table. You tie his Timberlands together. Then he gets up. He falls on his face. We film it. I like to assume that he's still wearing Timberlands.

Oh, yeah. He probably has Owen's blood on his shoes At all times To be fair we haven't heard his side of the story What if he had a sister there and Owen was being Well Owen actually tripped and fell and knocked himself out And I saved his life He was bleeding

He was blackout drunk And I called the ambulance I had to press a Timberland to stop the blood. So I propped his head up with my boots. Yeah. Fuck that guy. What was the signs

when you're pinched on a tree by a car? If the car backs up, the person dies. He triaged that with a Timberland boot. Timberland actually kept you alive. by a car. Yeah. Yeah. If the car backs up, the person dies. Right. So they, right. He triaged that with a Timberland boot. Timberland actually kept you alive.

He's a tourniquet. There's a big difference in Dan's and Danny's. Oh yeah. You ever met a good Danny? Danny? No. Danny? Adult Danny?

No such thing. But he's so hot and he can get away with it. Yeah. So the accent was wrong. You actually got kicked with a Timberland. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm sorry that that shit happened to you.

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about your home buying experience or refinance your current mortgage that's ccm lens.com ccm l-e-n-d-s.com slash barstool to learn more cross-country mortgage lc nmS 3029 NLMS consumer access.org equal housing opportunity. Max Homa said I confused his name and now I have an enemy. He's not my enemy

but I think I'm his. I was on your side the entire time but then I saw that he's following me on Twitter, so I'm actually off of his side, and now you're Napoleon Dynamite again, or whatever the fuck he called you. Little Dicky. Call me Little Dicky. I follow you on

Twitter. Oh. Oh, yeah. Alright, but he has like twice your followers. No way. Yeah. Nah, he has 60,000 more I checked. You know, you must be gaining followers quickly. You haven't even been tweeting that much. Why?

I don't like to tweet. Why? It scares me. What do you like about it? What's your favorite social media? Shit, brother. I don't know. Caleb, what's yours?

Caleb, you've had a... Graham. But they shadow banned you. They shadow banned you on the Graham once. It wasn't my profile. It was Thinker. Thinker got shadow banned. It pretty much shut down my entire inspiration to do it.

Exactly, yeah. Once you can't grow something. Once there's nothing... I don't know. Can you workshop a joke for me? Yeah, what do you want it to be about? Something about once it doesn't grow anymore, you lose interest in it. Penis, penis.

Something about a grower and then a no-shower. Yes, yes. That's what I think is the best. With his age jokes. We have to cut that joke. No, we don't. We're not. That's what this show is built on.

We can't. We can't. Fuck. Thank you, Owen. What were you about to say, Caleb? People want to know when you're going to put your brain to use. For you. Put the you in use.

When are you going to put the you in use? When are you going to put the brain to use? Because you put your brain to use for everybody else. Let's go through the things that you do. The most selfless brain in the office. Selfless brain. And humblest. Listen to that humble-ass brain.

All right, let's go into Max Homa. Good guy. Great golfer. Friend of the program. Hates me. Good taste. Wait, I forgot to say, too, Max Homa, the professional golfer, was there, too. Really?

That was our dinner. We had dinner. What was his too, Max Homo, the professional golfer, was there too. Really? That was our dinner. We had dinner. What was his name? Max Homo. We're going to crack it up. The gayest man of all time. We took it up to Max Homo. And we turned it up.

The tips of his fingers are touching his forearm. You think you've seen gay? Fuck it, Max. Speaking of enemies, Caleb, you have an enemy yeah Stephen Che and me haven't got along for a long time but I will say that recently I have not had really that

many problems with him at all have you been thinking about him not a lot or is he out of sight out of mind I just have I mean I was out of office for about eight weeks yeah oh that's got to be that has to play into it a little so was he yeah you know yeah so you're just you both are just kind of living your lives and uh it's better for you it's it's one of those things is

like if you live your truth can you workshop instead of doing a joke this time can you do like a like a wisdom? Like a piece of wisdom? Let me get a crack at it. Let me take a crack at it. Something about living your truth? So what did you want? Wisdom?

Truth? I want something about like, you know, even though me and Steve don't get along, like we respect each other because we both hate each other. I was trying to do like a wisdom truth, wisdom tooth type of thing. No, no, no. Rhyming. Oh, fuck. I thought you meant rhyme. I would have came to you for a rhyme dawson knox boston scott uh shadow ban larazapam

uh uh cameron jordan uh porcupine uh scorpions mind um that's the thing I love about you little bro You've always said scorpion that way You've never changed man And that's what's so crazy cool about you Thank you dog I'm gonna parent trap you guys Okay

Okay Well no you can't just say okay No you ruined everything. Sorry, do it again. Which parent trap? The Lindsay Lohan one? The Lindsay Lohan's one. The Lindsay Lohan's one.

Starring both of her, yeah. Where both of them like peanut butter and Oreos, so they're like, we must be twins because we like to have these sugary youth snacks. We both enjoy the same sugary youth snacks. That's right, but I'm going to be Lindsay. We both enjoy the same sugary youth snack. That's right. But I'm going to be Lindsey. Rowan, you're going to be Lindsey.

You're going to be a hot mom, Caleb. And Che's going to be Richard Gere. Was it Richard Gere? Yes, it was. No, Dennis Quaid. They're the same exact people. Yeah, one has gray hair. When he wants to be disguised and have gray hair, he becomes Richard Gere. And if he wants to go back to brown he becomes quaid again he goes he's like a suede a suede couch how you run your hand along and it turns a different color

little dennis suede they call him dennis suede that's what they call i think i found a quote for caleb yeah sure respect those who don't hate who don't secretly hate you i like that. That's kind of what I was... That's good. That's good. With Stephen Che, you openly hate him, so you think that that's respect worthy. Rowan, you're in charge of getting Caleb to the location, and I got Che.

Okay. And we're going to... It's camping still, right? We're trying to do the thing where they're both on the same blow-up mattress, and they fall asleep drunk, and we push them out onto a lake? Mm-hmm. Those vibes? Yep, and they have to figure out their differences out on that mattress and do they end up fucking i think they fuck on the lake but i don't think that we require that because they were hetero and i think that uh at least caleb's hetero

caleb are you trying to go to a lake yeah my work here is done the master manipulator is back at it again. Here's that clip of Caleb and Che settling their differences. I have a hilarious story about Stephen Che. I know I'm not supposed to be on my phone during the show, but I'm getting acclimated to being back on the show. We've gotten away from that. Oh, you're back on phones. A little bit here and there.

But Stephen Che texted me on the side. He's like, hey, actually your gift showed up at your house last week. I have a confirmation that it was delivered to your house. And I was thinking, like, what could it have been? He's like, it was from Amazon. So I was tracing my memory. I was like, wait, what was it? He's like, it was some foam practice ball so you could practice golf during the winter.

I opened that package up, saw it. I was like, I didn't order this. Don't want it. Threw it out. I didn't say it was from Steve. I didn't say it was from Steve. He does that. He doesn't tell you. He said it was from you, and I was like, don't want this.

Threw it out immediately. That's not to be mean. That's just transparency. And so you knew you were going to be mean. It's so deep in your bones to hate the things that Stephen Chay does that he can do it anonymously and you can sniff it out. We just don't align on that many levels. On any level. Really.

Yeah, but I love Steve. I think it was a nice gift. I didn't know. I wouldn't have thrown it. Didn't it work out perfectly for you, though? You were able to throw it out. You didn't have to have the guilt of throwing it out, but you got to throw it in Steve's face that you threw it out. You just know who you are.

It was so weird because it said Caleb Presley. It said my address. Everything was perfect, and then I opened it. I was like, this is not me. It's not something I would want. There's no chance that you wanted it at all, not even for a second. You're like, I could kind of work on my short game in the... You didn't even think about it? Like, oh, my bedroom?

Not two seconds. Oh, my God. Sorry, Steve. Thank you. Thank you. Listen up, fellas. Hey, 2020 sucked, didn't it? Yes.

Thank you, Caleb. Dude, you know what the worst part about 2020 for me was? My pubes won't stop growing. My fucking pubes. Just this year? Would not stop growing my fucking pubes just this year would not stop growing it's a it's a symptom of the year and i don't think there's anything i can do about it yeah wow what happened to you during quarantine okay his pubes kept going i think my pubes kept growing they're just growing well how did you ever get him to stop? There's no solution. The technology just isn't there yet.

I don't know, man. I think that you could figure something out. Like what? There is this new product on the market. Do tell. Ron, are you hearing this? This shit is seamless is seamless bro in the middle of our regular conversation we were just having you're gonna tell him about that what the fuck bro if you go to manscaped.com that's right manscaped.com you can get 20 off the product for you they got

you know what they got ron and i actually And I actually thought this before I said it, which is not true for everything I say. Yeah. I actually just thought this through. The people who make the names of Manscaped's products, I sometimes think they hired you. Because they're good names? Because there was a while at Barstool where you were working two jobs at the very beginning. Remember when you were writing for the show and at Barstool? Yes. And I was like, I know show and at Barstool? Yes.

And I was like, I know Roan has the capacity to do that. I wouldn't be shocked if he's doing this for Manscaped. Listen to these products. They got the Crop Preserver, the Crop Reviver, the Perfect Package 3.0. The Crop Preserver and Provider make it sound like they're an agriculture company. Lawnmower. Yeah.

It sounds like they're, are they another agriculture company that I would say the name of, but I'm not trying to take away from the good folks at Manscaped, so I'm not even going to drop another brand name. They got the ball toner, too, and it's such a good deal. It gives me a tall boner. The ball toner does. Yeah. Use your tall boner.

Yeah. Taller than normal. Wow. the ball toner does yeah usually a tall boner yeah taller than normal wow anyways these guys i mean they just got it figured out for your balls and if you're trying to get your balls figured out use our code yak y-a-k and you can get 20 off and your balls and the area above your dick will look lawnmower ball toner do you guys think that before the 3.0 there was actually two other versions or you think that's just a branding tactic that's what nimbus did uh they just jumped to the 2000 the 3000 yeah yeah there was never a 1995 nimbus there was no

1999 nimbus but they make a good broom no no matter what. That's a good company as well. Not as good as Manscaped. No, yeah. You could kind of use a Nimbus to kind of dust off the excess pubes to kind of see what you've got. I use my Nimbus to sweep up my pubes. Yeah, most people are flying around playing sports on their broomsticks. You use it as a broom. That's right.

Classically. Classically, you do that shit. The best of the act. What a show that we have. Just always cracking jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes. I hope that the act continues to be a radio show. Do you? I hope so. I do too.

I like doing the act. Best hour of my day. Is it really? Yeah. It's one thing I look forward to. You really just like doing everything else that much? Yeah. Even this? Because this isn't even part of the Yak. Nah, I told you once I'll tell you again. You guys are fucking homies. Damn, that's fucking love.

It's one of the best hours of my day, too. It's just something that I like to get in and kind of laugh with the fellas. And I don't know if we're going to do another best of the Yak before the holidays. Are we? We're releasing a Best of Friday vibes, I think.

What? How can we even do that? Is that even legal? Is that legal? That sounds illegal. It's very illegal. That sounds like we're about to get fucking lorazepam. It's about to be bad for us.

But while we are still here, we've been continuing to do funny shit. And that's why we bring you these sweet-ass best-ofs. And this next clip involves our friend Caleb. And it involves a friend of the program, Dana B. Dana B., who you've been on the road with, Caleb. Yeah, so when I'm gone, when I haven't been on the Yak, because I'm the same way as you guys i love being on the yak uh and i find my main camaraderie component of my life comes from being on the yak but when i'm on the road i gotta get that that fix from somewhere

i i think that that is a very real thing that you need to be around other people joking to be and feel funny you need to get that fix somewhere gotta get your fix so my fix is with dana beers and glenny balls and that's who i get it from yeah that's so funny to you oh and that those are the people he jokes with we laugh and have good times brother yeah yeah i bet you do who uh who who picks up the bill at the end of the day? Well, so usually I'll pay for what are the main expenses, but Glenn Balls always likes to go a little bit extra. So sometimes he'll just pick up the extras. Glenn Balls, people don't know, and I can't say it enough,

is probably maybe second to Dave, the richest person at this company, strictly based on how well he saves. Because he made so much off Bitcoins? Or he just is that frugal? He lives at home. Yeah. Well, I know he has some expenses because he spends $96 a month on OnlyFans.

But Dream, can I tell you something? He's been living with his parents. I don't know how old he is. I think he's probably 24. He's been living with his parents his whole life since he's worked at Barstool, which has been like four years. He has never paid rent.

He is going to move out of his parents in the next year. life since he's worked at barstool which has been like four years he's has never paid rent he is going to move out of his parents in the next year and he's been going every day like an hour to the office right hour here and there and back because he's in long island he's moving further away from barstool so he can live with his boys in long island at the beach wow what a fucking life that guy's got it figured out legend yeah makes makes me kind of think that we're suckers for living on this bullshit island that we live on. We should be living on a better island instead of Manhattan. We should be living on Long Island. Boys, let's get a house.

A summer house? Yeah. Summer share? Hampton house? Let's do it. Hampton house for the fucking yak? How sick would that be? That would be sick. That would be sick.

That would be sick. Why can't we do that? Fire Island? You will? I'll grab one, yeah. Thank you. Grab one for us. Put it on.

You have your company card, Gil? Yeah, I still got the Amex. Put it on the Amex, bro. Can you hook him up on the Amex? The American Express? Thank you, brother. But Caleb's been running up the Amex all over the country, and he's been doing it with Dana Beers

And here's a clip just about that So coming back from Actually no it's a too long story No no no Trust me We'll punch it up Trust me Trust me family

Do it The doctor was the mother. It was an ice pick. It was an icicle. I'm going to do it quickly. Okay? Yeah, yeah. And there's going to be a lot of things left out.

There was a flight missed on our previous trip with Dana. Okay? Can I ask a question? Okay. Yeah. From where to where? The flight was from Scottsdale to indianapolis so you guys were at a hotel phoenix to indianapolis phoenix to indianapolis were you all together at scottsdale

yes everyone was in phoenix and he was late to the flight i was late to the flight got it sorry that's see it's kind of good that i asked the question there because i think we all assumed they were like if caleb's not here, we're not going? So that's kind of where... Here, you tell the story in as little as words as possible, but we get to ask as many questions as we want. It's like 21 questions for a story. Yeah, we're going to investigate the story.

21 questions, 21 words, though. You only have 21 words. Okay. That's two of them. We'll say one. Okay, okay, okay. Original flight missed. Thought I had say one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Original flight missed. Thought I had a friend.

Ooh. This sounds like slam poetry. Upon further review, he was like, yeah, and he took all the credit. He's like, yeah, man, like, I don't want to leave you. That type of thing. Here comes a twist. So then we get, and he's like, you know, know and it's like we're on the way to the airport for for actual flight and he's like uh yeah it's crazy because because we had gone to california previously and have some things in california that are legal there that aren't legal other

places so i made some prostitutes i had made some purchases and kept them with me some prostitutes in my bag yeah and. Traveling deep. And he was like, yeah, and I didn't even know because my bag with those items was in the car, in the rental car. And he got to the airport and he's like, yeah, and I didn't even know what I was going to do with all your stuff. I was like, oh, okay. And then I was like, but did you went all the way to the airport? And I come to find out Dana didn't try to stay for me. He got all the way to the airport

to leave me. He had parked the car back in Avis only to realize that the stuff that he was going to have to, the risk he was going to have to take for me wasn't worth it. Oh, dude.

So he didn't even want to fly with that risk. He's a backstabber and a pussy. Yes. And so he took the car out, back out of the rental car place it. So he didn't even want to fly with that wrist. So he took the car out back out of the rental car place and came back and waited on it. So I could fly with it. And pretended that it was all... So him being a good friend. Wow. And you're not

happy when I'm super spreading rumors about him being a super spreader? Makes you think. I never would do that about him being a super spreader. Makes you think. I never would do that about you. I would carry your weed in an airport. No problem. Kudos to Dana, though, because Indianapolis,

it's the Yug capital of the world, is it not? Yeah, they love Yug in there. It is the Yugs. They do the Yug 500 there every year, or 400. We would for sure carry it. We've smoked basically inside of airports. Guys, I was, Big Cat,

let's get something straight. I was never, never accusing you. Yeah, but I, you said that I'm, you're anti-Big Cat when I'm anti- When it comes to Dana,

I just told Dana, you know, I have your back on the super spreader stuff. It's not fair. You're just trying to chug beers around the world. But when people say

that he's a backstabbing pussy, the backstabbing pussy part is fair. Yeah, that part, I mean, in this situation, that did prove to be true. Caleb?

I'm glad I didn't tell that story, though, because it was too long and boring. All right. We're going to send you boys off right, and girls,

but I've looked at the demographics. I want to play the odds. So I'm going to say we're going to send you every way boys off right. Caleb, do that thing you do. Rone, your turn, baby.

Hit it, Nick. All right. That's just one thing we always do. And it's never really been caught on tape, maybe in the background of like a stool scenes or something. But it felt good to finally get that. No, we know we should do a baseline. No, we should have people, if you're listening to this right now, submit to our Yak Twitter account your best freestyle.

To that. To that. Yeah, loop that thing. Put a top line on it. And then. Retweet it. It doesn't even matter if it's good. Every single person who sends it in, we will guarantee retweet.

Guaranteed retweets. Not only that, but also one of you will get a new Yak sweatshirt, which are fucking... If you're a Yak listener, if you're listening to this, that's how you invest in the program. That's how you put money back into the system to make sure that we can get a Hamptons house for the summer. Think about the freaking cocaine that we would be doing at this Hampton house. Go ahead, Nick. If their song is good enough, a week at our Hampton house.

Yes, yes. That is open to any, but you have to have at least a million followers to be. Yeah, you have to have a million. You have to have a million across platforms. So Mike Studd is in the running for this. Or the actual looped freestyle has to get a million views. Yeah. Zero followers. But with a million views. Yeah.

Zero followers. But with a million views, you're in. I got a guy. On Spotify, though, it has to be a legitimate streaming service. It's got to be a gold record. And we own the rights. The rights are ours. We own the rights. Yeah.

At least all the percent. The fray. We want full ownership.