The Yak - It's a Show-and-Tell Spectacular | The Yak 4-5-24

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Shoutout CorneliusYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. All right. We're live. It's Final Four Friday. It's little Kyle and big Kate. Itty bitty Kyle and big fat Kate here with Dolph from Denver, Megan making millions, soon Emoji, maybe. Lips, big lips.

And Dave and his dog. And Steve's here. Yeah. What's up, guys? It's a true Yakagami. This might be one of the Yakagami-est Yakagamis. In many ways. We've had in quite some time.

Yeah, this is weird. It'll be good. Are you creeped out? Oh, no, like in a good way. This had in quite some time. Yeah, this is weird. It'll be good. Are you creeped out? Oh, no, like in a good way. This is like a good weird. No, why would sitting Rudy next to Rudy creep you out right now?

He's wearing all black with very sharp objects, but that's okay. And Dave, do you want to introduce your pup? This is Ace. He is here today.

Do they know what we're doing today? Or am I going to ruin the surprise? No, it's not that. we're doing today or am i gonna ruin the surprise no it's not that we're doing a show and tell day and since so many people were out and they're at the final four we said we put an all hands email out to the chicago office and we said bring whatever weird object in your home motherfucking roback oh roback the tees the cruise the joggers i wear them every day. Roback lives rent-free in my apartment.

They take up so much space. I just ordered a bunch of women's Roback stuff. I was wearing the men's undershirts under all my hoodies because they're so comfortable. But I just ordered a bunch of women's stuff. The Azalea collection is back for a limited time, just in time for spring golf. When we say these designs can't miss, we mean it. So check out Roback. Use the code YAK on roback.com for 20 off your first purchase that's spelled r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com 20 off all performance hoodies crewnecks joggers more with the code yak and another thing you don't

want to be without is our show and tell items today so i put out a call i don't know who all is going to be on but i heard back from like a good amount of people you sent out a mass email we're doing show and tell we're doing show and tell um i was afraid it was gonna flop like nikki smokes's march madness bracket email that did you see that did everybody see that yeah and he got really sad it made me incredibly sad um that was that was his fault what was that it was really funny nikki smoke sent out an all-hand chicago email saying hey i'm gonna do an office pool everybody throw in 100 bucks here's the link and i was like well i'll check it out and i went to check it out and nobody had joined it yet so then i didn't join it i was like oh i don't want to join it and then later casey texted him it was

like i went to join but this was like days later nobody joined it so i'm not gonna either and like he sent out this all-hands email no not one person not one person joined his basketball and then he said another person did follow up he said yeah oh follow up he said a follow-up about a week later it was like fuck you guys this is so rude i tried to do this and nobody wanted when you ask someone to do anything at all, the answer is typically no. And you ask them to fill out a bracket from your point of view? Well, clearly from everybody else's. It's like you get an email like, hey, guys, do this. Unless it's a directive from a boss, chances are you're going to be like, delete.

You're missing a huge part of it, though. I would have happily done the bracket, but I not doing a nikki smokes bracket with a hundred dollar door fee that's crazy you think he's gonna like rig it or something no i'm not doing a i'm not doing a i have we everyone has a bunch of brackets i can't have a triple digit bracket cost that's crazy a hundred dollars is crazy also just i would imagine nikki getting all of our money and and just using it for miscellaneous items for his own good then when it comes up to like actually paying someone out him being like uh i'm gonna have to get you back bro like i don't have it right now he's a dick he would uh he would take the money and then in his head he'd be like oh i'm gonna win so i may as well just use

this money i'm gonna invest in this money and then it's like when a bank has no like what is the word solvency and then everyone comes back to collect he's got nothing that was incredible that was i did not actually dude i'm off dome dyslexic power i'm off dome off dome also in the building today we have danny aka cornelius our sparkle guy is here oh shit he's in the booth where is he he's somewhere he's somewhere around here oh there he is but i'm on a phone yeah we're gonna have him come in at some point but he's more than welcome to hop in at some point too yeah i gotta talk to him yeah i got questions but uh should we like just hop into it or should we all right we got yeah two more chairs i think dan conrad said he's

coming in oh sweet yeah come on dann Danny Conrad's on his way now. And this is Danny as well. This is Danny, a.k.a. Cornelius, the sparkle guy. There's two Danny Cs on the mics today? That's pretty crazy. Cornelius. Yeah, yeah, have a seat right there and pull the mic up. There's Ace.

He's going to introduce himself. Wearing the rollback. Yeah. Of course, always wear the rollback. Hell yeah. The only problem with rollback is my wife always steals it, so I'm glad to hear that they have women's stuff. Yes, they do. So, Dani, you have, first off, thank you.

I think you've contributed probably 10-plus hours, probably tens of hours of material and entertainment for us for nothing out of the kindness of your heart. Much appreciated. Yeah. When did you first say, like, oh, I'm going to do Sporkle quizzes for the act? for nothing out of the kindness of your heart. Much appreciate it. Yeah. When did you first say, like, oh, I'm going to do Sporkle quizzes for the act? You guys had an episode,

and we're complaining that all the quizzes, you know, you had done already, and there weren't any good ones. So I got bored, smoked a little, and decided, let me just make one. And you guys played it literally the next day. So from then on, I've just been, every time I go out and, you know, I make a sporkle.

We don't even think about it, but we do it every time we do the gauntlet. And that's a new quiz that you've made, a unique quiz that you've made? Yeah, I think I've made like 60 of them so far. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. So we really owe you. Yes. What is your Venmo or cash out?

No, no, no. What is it? Throw it out there. Seriously, throw it What is your Venmo or cash out? No, no, no. What is it? Throw it out there. Seriously, throw it out there. Just say it to me. No, no, I'm not doing that. Whisper it to me. We're not doing that.

Whisper it to me. Whisper it. ASML. Don't make a mistake. Throw it out there. Don't need to miss peaches. Chaps, tell them. I mean, if they're offering, dude, you got to do it.

Are you either going to say the name or give this to charity? Yeah, charity. No. A specific one. No, no, no. I say the name. Never mind. give this to charity yeah charity no a specific no no no never mind yeah well he's in town for that he goes to uh nick's game every year in a different city right and so you're here doing that

and he knew he was coming weeks ago and that's when we were all like yeah come in do the gauntlet well we forgot the court is tough timing conrad not able to do the gauntlet right now but that's okay we'll still get you a t-shirt and that makes up for the 60 quizzes you've made for us throughout the time. Are you from Long Island? No. Jersey? Jersey. Jersey.

Yeah. They just got smoked by an earthquake. Yes, they did right while I was in the air. So I missed it. That's crazy. I'm currently in talks with my 86-year-old grandma. She was at the library in the epicenter, Morris County, I think. PA?

Yeah, she said she's a little bit scared. I saw a tweet from a dude who said that he was in the middle of getting a vasectomy whenever it happened. Oh, that's bad. All-time bad. Yeah, that's a bad breaker right there. He just said, all caps,

I'm having a vasectomy during an earthquake. This is so scary. He probably has some shit that went awry down there. Oh, yeah. He might have some new cum. Yeah, there's not a lot that went awry down there. He might have some new cum. There's not a lot of room for air down there. It comes out under his balls now. Weird ass cum. It just leaks

out. That sounds like a superhero origin story. Where something goes wrong during a procedure. He becomes super potent instead. It's like the opposite of what he wanted. He walks around women and they just start ovulating. Or just popping out babies. Fire and eggs. We they just start ovulating. Or just popping out babies and firing eggs. We're just describing Austin Butler.

True. Yeah. That's basically his superpower. Just making women ovulate on command. He makes me ovulate. Yeah, he's hot. He's super hot. This is the Elvis guy? Yeah. I feel like he's like heroin

chic hot, right? He's got bags under his eyes. Looks like he kind of He's like heroin chic hot Right? Like he's got like Kind of like bags under his eyes Looks like he hasn't slept in weeks Are we talking about the same guy? Heroin chic? Yeah Heroin chic I don't know if he's heroin chic

He's like He looks like he does drugs But in a cool way Like John Rich John Rich I'm pretending like I know What heroin chic is I don't know what it is

Does he do a lot of drugs? What is heroin chic? Like a naturally tone It's like you have good cheekbones But you look pretty sickly Jared Leto Yeah Oh oh yeah sunken in eyes that is a part of the gaze yeah you gotta it's it's interest it's an interesting look to say the least austin butler's gay i don't know is he gay no probably he's so hot yeah he's too hot to be straight right yeah blue eyes, though.

Piercing. Should we jump into show and tell day? I get excited for stuff like this. We got show and tell day. Yeah. Who all brought something for show and tell? I did. All of you?

So unfortunately, I didn't. Whenever I moved, I threw away everything that was wonky and cool, apparently. I thought about bringing in some morbid stuff stuff but I was like, I can't. What were you going to bring in? I was just going to bring my dad's ashes so everyone could meet my dad. That would have won the day. I just didn't want you guys to judge him just based on appearance.

Yeah, I am the type of guy that would. Yeah, by the odor. His knees are a little ashy. He just smells like a Marlboro. A little gray. That's tough. So yeah, I left him at home. But there's other people.

But everyone else did and people outside of the office brought us some things. Yes. Steve, did you? Not really an item, but like more of a talent. Oh.

I didn't know we could bring talents. Well, yeah, I don't have a lot of like physically cool things. So I have something that I can do. Okay. Jay's going to eat pussy. Megan, rock, paper, scissors.

I'm out. I'm actually married. You're not, so you've got to do it. It could probably switch it up and do bussy. That's true. That's true. Who should we start with? I have a whole list of names too.

I would say a wheel, but should we just start bringing people in? I don't know how you guys get comfy in these chairs. No, there's no getting comfy in these chairs. I haven't stopped moving this whole time. I feel weird. This might be the cause of your back issues. It doesn't help. I'll tell you that much.

I just can't find a... A happy place. place no it's crazy yeah i'll be right don't worry about me don't worry about rudy danny danny c from nj do you have something for showing yes i do oh let's start with god damned let's start with him can we start with him yeah okay why not you want to start with you so uh just a warning i got this text at i saw it at five in the morning right before i was getting ready for the flight this morning yeah and uh this was a suggestion of my wife okay congrats yeah so i brought in a tooth. Oh, a tooth. Yes. Human? Yes, human.

Okay. Yours? Not mine. Interesting. That's some freak shit. Yeah, what? Did you buy it at a flea market? How did you acquire it? Backstory.

So I have a four-year-old son now, and he was playing with my daughter, and my daughter kind of pushed him, and he went face planting into a TV stand. He then pulled this tooth out of his mouth and requested to pull out the other front tooth which we then convinced him not to do.

Future hockey guy. Yeah, just unfazed. So he just pulled it right out? Pulled it right out. And has he got it like that? Like, is he the type of dude to do shit like that? I guess so, because he did it. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, and now he's going to be with no front tooth for the next, like, three years, I think. Yeah, I was thinking, I think that's about seven. Yeah, they'd get another front tooth. At least seven. Bad ass. Yeah. Is he tough? Oh, tough oh yeah yeah real tough does he like to look at the tooth a lot is it something that he brings and it's like

like no but he's constantly talking about how he has a hole in his mouth and how he can do stuff with it heard that i i was like hey by the way we're doing a show in tell days to bring whatever and i didn't expect him to be like, I was like, what did you bring? He's like a tooth. Okay. I guess at the end, maybe if you're willing to give these items up, we can do like a swap of some sorts. We can put them on. I do want that.

A Yankee swap of talent stuff. Yeah. Oh, I want that. I want Dave's dog. You can have him. He's a nuisance. Actually, fun fact. I think Kate, I don't know if you know this but if you keep

your children's teeth whenever they grow up I think you can use them for some other medical stuff like stem cells and stuff like really that's some witchcraft shit

I'm not positive on that I'm not no I think it's fact I think it is I'll take your word for it I just have kids and I read stuff so that's what I think

we have a lot of parents here yeah we do you guys are the outcasts. What a bunch of losers. Enjoying your free time and going out. Lame. Why did you prevent him from pulling out the other tooth? Wouldn't it look more symmetrical?

It would look more symmetrical, I'll give you that. But I thought it'd be nice for him to be able to eat a little bit better. Sure. It's kind of hard to eat most foods if you're not having your front teeth. Yeah, he's in his hillbilly phase, one front tooth. Are you going to keep more of his teeth? Do you plan on having a full collection? Oh, definitely make a necklace.

Yeah. Of course. What else do you do? I've kept a few. Your kid's going to wrestle, isn't he? Oh, yeah. I wrestled in middle school. I know.

Yeah, I can tell. What part of Jersey? Well, now I'm in Bergen County. Bergen Catholic. We were neighbors. 106 pounder. Is he small? He's pretty big.

Is he fucking teeny tiny? He's the biggest. Oh, he's a big guy. He's a real big kid. Love it. Danny C? Yeah, so we agreed that someone Has to take this item right

Yeah we didn't agree Yeah but maybe I didn't agree to that It's majority of the reason why I brought it in Oh hell yeah This is a really this is like a Really big build up I like this Oh That made me

Very uncomfortable I don't like that This is Barnaby I've had him oh fuck that very uncomfortable this is Barnaby I've had him since Christmas of 2005 and I've tried Williams control your dog dude I've tried getting rid of it

the past three times I've moved and my mom plays a joke where she hides it in one of the moving boxes. That's terrifying. It's the last thing I see. And I kind of want to Annabelle the act with this doll so someone's going to have to. Yeah, no, that's horrific. It's an anus doll. It's a ventriloquist. Don't do it. Don't make it do that.

It's making me really uncomfortable. Does he have one tooth? I'm stuck in a can of worms! Do it again! I'm stuck in I can't get out. Wait, what did he say? Do it again. I'm stuck and I can't get out. Wait, dude. Danny gets mauled immediately. Wait, wait, wait.

That was kind of impressive. Put his mouth through the mic. Let him speak. I'm stuck and I can't get out. I just picture Big Cat tuning in for a second like what the he's rocking what your kids got right now one tooth

it kind of looks like that character Just Jack isn't that what it's called from Tropic Thunder so simple Jack that is haunted that's terrifying yeah so one of you is going to have to take it because this is my

final straw this will not be in my next apartment do it do it eyes move or is it just doing that uh if you look long enough it's kind of mona lisa i want to call dibs on that wait do it again because did you practice to have to achieve what you're doing now everyone could kind of do this if you try. One more time. I'm 14. I can't do it. I'm 14. I can't do it with certain words. That's the best one.

That's pretty good. You've been practicing. He definitely has been practicing. Wait, how'd you get it? Since 05. I got it for Christmas one year. This is the replacement for Cole, apparently. Wait, who's Cole?

Mine. I mean, I was... Who's named as Cole? Yeah. He's talking about Christmas. Oh. Oh. Stereotypical bad kid.

I was on your side there. He got solvency. That's not a good sign. He got solvency, but not that. No, I've been behind on this. Christmas Cole? Well, I'll come fully clean. I'm catching up.

I thought the doll was making the noise.'s why i said yeah we we know i know that i know that you clocked it i know that you clocked it i did not think you thought the doll was making you just said that's how it works yeah before he did it yeah no i i fully thought that sleep's been an issue this week i'm catching up but danny did a Danny, I think you're really good at that. You say that anyone can do that? If you close your mouth and then say help and I can't get out. It only hurts.

Help and I can't get out. Help and I can't get out. You've been practicing. Why does your sound sound like a doll would sound? Yeah, I might have practiced once or twice. He seems like he has more of a, oh, I bar to be here. You definitely asked for that, if we're going to be honest.

You said, mom, can I please have a ventriloquist doll? It's almost like my parents wanted me to be a ventriloquist. I was like, this thing is a little too creepy. It's almost like you were waiting for the perfect time to bring it out. You're like, oh, I don't even like this thing. Anyway. That's exactly what it was. Basically Jeff Dunham.

Anyone can do this. You ever see like a- Do the terrorist noise from Jeff Dunham. What's his name? Akhmad? Akhmad, yeah. I'm unfamiliar. The dead terrorist.

When did he create that character? I think it was like height of the war. So you were in Fallujah when he created it? Maybe. And I was like, somebody send me those clips. I got to see the Jeff Dunham terrorist clips. Can we decide who is stuck with this? No, you are and you're going to hone that craft.

I'm leaving you here. Everybody should get him for a month and then have a talent show. Yeah. We'll work on it I feel like Conrad has it he's got it in the back I can only do that one that one phrase

but you do it so well but why do you why do you have to do it with like like inside because if he mows his mouth then he gives it away no I know

but he's like not opening his lips I feel like you can have your lips open a little bit like oh you're saying he could do more yeah

but not good he's like doing it like he's underwater kind of yeah i was going for a trap soul dave you're kind of being a little bit of a hater yeah i do hate that thing if i opened a box and saw that thing i'd like i'd shit myself that thing's terrifying hello dave yeah exactly if you have like company coming over you gotta hide that. If I was like a gal going back to a department. Oh, my God. Oh, I know.

That is a problem. I saw a little hand sticking out of the closet. I'm in a one-bedroom apartment. This thing is so locked away because there's only so many places to hide it. I really did come with the full intention of leaving it here. But what's creepier? If you had it hidden in your apartment and a woman finds it true or if it's just on a shelf somewhere in a corner at least there you you can like but then

it's like i would want them to see it and why would i want them to see because then you can explain to them like hey this is kind of just a joke i'm not actually a psychopath ventriloquist no i think it shows you have a softer side there's nothing soft about that doll no wait what is with that what's good with that craniofacial structure was that like specific to like the 50s fetal alcohol syndrome yeah crack baby in the lipstick well hell yeah i didn't expect that either what'd you say his name is barnaby barnaby that's a good name for him barnaby all right what do you

got williams so um back in like early early early days of school elementary school everybody did show and tell i was always jealous of the kid that brought the dog so now that i fast forward 30 years i have show and tell again and i wanted to bring the dog to make all you guys jealous of how awesome my dog is yeah thank you this is ace he is a uh pit bull mix he comes from a champion line of dog fighters um he obviously didn't really get that gene in him he's terrified of everything especially this doll um barnaby yeah excellent bloodlines um his mother was three-time dog fighting champion. His father hit it and quit it. So we don't know what the rest of him is. Ridgeback.

Thousand percent. Little Ridgeback, I think. That's a Ridgeback? That's the Roback logo. Yeah, the tiger dog. They fight tigers in Africa, apparently. Zah, can you attest to that? Lions.

Lions, that's what I meant. They're named after formerly Zimbabwe that? Lions. Lions, that's what I meant. They're named after formerly Zimbabwe. Rhodesia. Yeah, Rhodesia. Great hunting dog. Five of them, four or five of them can take out a lion? Yep. This is making me nervous. Wait, really, Zah? Yeah.

They're a phenomenal hunting dog. So is it common to own a handful of hunting dogs? So a bunch of the farmers, the cats that were out in the, so non-city people. So it was a farmer's dog, people that are out like in the safari areas and all. Very, very common, very popular. And I heard it's like near orgasmic for them to hunt, to catch a prey. Like they love it more than anything.

See, he didn't get that he has been nose to nose with uh he pinned a squirrel in between like two walls there was no going anywhere for this squirrel he was like just like what's up man he doesn't care about that stuff so he didn't get that that's why he uh he got booted from the dog fighting in the lion fighting rings. He just couldn't hack it. And is this fact or lore? No, this comes from... He was discovered in... His name is Ace, based off of Ace Hardware. They found him in a dumpster at an Ace Hardware in South Carolina.

No, really? Him in Six Litter Mates, and he was the only one that made it. Yeah, good story, right? Horrible. I wish I could find those people. Oh, my God. He's kind of like Miss Peaches before Miss Peaches. Yeah. Yeah, good story, right? Horrible. I wish I could find those people. Oh my God. He's kind of like Miss Peaches before Miss Peaches.

Yeah. Oh my God. The IG account. Would you like to showcase a skill that you can do with? Yeah, Ace, come. Come. Come.

Sit. Paw. That's as much as he's got. Good job. That was good enough for me. That was incredible. Good job. Good boy. Yeah. I like that he was good enough for me. Good job. Good boy.

Yeah. I like that he does not fuck with Barnaby at all. No, he hates Barnaby. He's a judge of character. I think the specific type of pit he is is Staffordshire, known as the nanny dogs. Great with kids. Great with families. Very, very, you'd think pit bull.

You'd think aggression. It's the opposite with the Staffordshire. Fun fact. When we first moved in, Dave and I lived near each other. And he was like, if Cash wants to come play fetch. And so my son would go play fetch with his dog in the park. Yeah. And he's a good dog.

Yes. He's like super patient. Yeah. Do you go to dog parks? Do you talk to the other dog owners? Yeah. Or dogs. Dogs.

Dog parks have like quite a... they're like an organism in and of themselves it's really community driven yeah it is and so you a lot of but these as much as i have to without sounding like an asshole to them or coming off but i don't want to talk about your fucking golden doodles lineage asshole i agree i find dog parts very very awkward they're they're kind of pretentious speaking of that should you have malice hat come in here and y'all could just like yeah he would he's great with other dogs he would be fine with uh he's a golden doodle is why i was saying he's so cute he's a golden you have you have are you a mini golden doodle i have a cat i'm a cat oh. I knew you had a cat. Muffin. She's the best.

Muffin, Piper, and Spork. Three amigos. Three amigos? No, Spork's a boy. And Sprinkles Dinkles. And Sprinkles Dinkles. Oh, you do too. Yeah, I have a cat, yep.

Sprinkles, Muffin, Piper, Spork. Sprinkles just showed up on our porch one day. Here? I love cats. She's like the best cat of all time. She's so sweet. Yeah, she's a good cat. or best cat of all time she's so sweet yeah they happen here in san antonio what style of cat she is a russian blue with long hair blue yeah so she's got like a really light gray hair and she's super fluffy and small like that

yeah i have a torty i don't know i don't know cap like that they're like they're ones that they look kind of like kind of like calicoes, but they're more like patchy, like black, orange, like they look like a bunch of like dark colors. Like tortoise shell. Does that make sense?

No, but I love it. What's yours? I feel like yours is just cat. Black. Yeah. Black. Iba Jones.

Did you ever get a second one? So yeah, that's going to come. We're thinking May June we're thinking orange Garfield cat I had an orange cat once

kind of an asshole they're also notoriously dumb I want chaos I don't want a well kept mature cat I want it to be dog like you already have a cat, I don't want a well-kept, mature cat. You're right. I want it to be dog-like. You already have a cat, though, right? Yeah, I want a second. That introduction for the second one's rough.

Yeah, I feel like there's going to be a little... That's what I want, though. I want some entertainment. Until they're shitting on the outside of the boxes and stuff and, like, pissing on your walls. Cats are crazy. I didn't... Think about that.

I didn't foresee that. Spice things up a little bit. Just get them a different litter box at first. Oh, also, Che, like the presentations the other day, will you grade these when we're done? We'll rank them all? Sure. Okay. Oh, yeah.

There's some still there. Including yourself. Including yourself. I want you to self-report. You got it. All right. Unbiased. Mine, I accidentally left out there, and it's nothing crazy kb do you

have one i gathered some things okay let's see what we got oh you're not going mine's all the way up by the bar how do you send the email and you don't what does that mean never mind do you want me to grab if you don't mind it's in a bag you want to is this an encore level show and tell no oh my god no it sucks and i i was like i'm the one who sent is this an encore level show and tell? No. Oh, my God. No, it sucks. And I was like, I'm the one who sent out this email and started this, and my item sucks. Yeah, mine sucks, too. Oh, okay, good. I'll go first, I guess.

All right. Hmm. Okay. What do I? What's in the blazy suit? What's in the bag? Okay. What is this?

I'm excited to see this. Oh. This? I'm excited to see this oh this i'm gonna give this away this is my first home run ball wow it says first home run this is at the field that is cartoonishly short i think it's like 100 feet the shortest in the world paris tournament i signed it. It says first home run. It was my only. What year? July 27th, 2002. Congratulations, Kyle. Yes. What kind of bat did the damage? I think it was a reenie.

Someone will get to have that. What is this? Oh, I like, they're all in nice little boxes. This is my hospital bracelet from 1995 for dehydration. I want that. I want that. And look at this.

Look how teeny tiny it is. Who would have guessed? It's crazy how my old bracelet doesn't even fit me anymore. You sure you don't want to keep that? That is crazy, bro. Your kids would probably like that one. Pass it down.

You went to the hospital for dehydration? I know. What happened? I don't know. That's on mama. Yeah, that is. God rest her soul. She must have not.

And this is my first haircut in 1994. Your hair is in there there's some strands of hair oh god you guys can also um bid on these items okay yeah i always wondered whenever i moved out like my mom gave me my trophies and like my report cards like what am i supposed to do with them i probably just should have brought them on the act brought it on the act yeah my mom saved everything and my dad gave this to my girlfriend before even this is her first meeting for Christmas. And she didn't know it was a bit or a joke. And she just pretended to act like very excited.

He never told her that it was a joke. And I never told her either. And y'all are together? What I did end up telling her. Okay, I'm excited. You're still together. Okay. Dad, you got to at least somewhat allude to it being a

joke what else do i have uh blown up pick of me about to dunk on yak basketball so damn fire this is a good and it's just like you would have gotten so much trouble in like first grade for having multiple things yeah you would have been yeah your filibuster class would have been like you're a dick yeah i brought the whole baby book yeah i'm surprised you don't have teeth as well i know yeah do i have teeth or a fingernail i heard something rumbling in there i wish i had my appendix the bathroom key from the oh the old oh man that was that's a good one and the purple ones for office Oh man that's a good one And the purple one's for the ladies room

That's kind of a grail Yeah I used to shit in that one Yes I know you did Ad nauseum I would put in work there too Everybody shit in that bathroom People be shitting Nice hat

No umbilical cord That'd be nice The hair made me feel much better about the teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Is that kind of type creepy? I have my son's hair. I've saved theirs.

I also have the first curl. Yeah. I've saved all that stuff. Is that a thing? Yeah. The first haircut's big because you're cutting off those baby curls. And like the cute, like your son is becoming a man. Yeah.

That's what it feels like. That's it. That's it. Well, thanks for entertaining that that was great i like the key i want the i want the ladies bathroom that's a grail i feel like that should be framed here to remind us how good we have it here just be funny go back in like two years to the old old office and just walk in there with that key just shit in that bathroom just to go just a memory shit raise your hand if you have shat in an office bathroom oh yeah on the daily yeah well every day definitely not me you have oh no you haven't no no dave you said you only have shit in all of our bathrooms i've yeah as so you probably have it nice like it's pretty it's pretty empty and it's it is very nice

and i'm always courteous if i can tell another woman is shitting when i walk in a bathroom i immediately turn around and walk out and i wait you've been in a bathroom with another woman here i know at the new york office yeah it never happened you guys have never been in the bathroom simultaneously with another person new york office had a prolific lady shitter and i need to turn around who is it i will throw them under the voice content you have to throw them under the 20 questions i will never say you know who it is for the record i am also one of those look at me but it's erica that's why she's leaving it was erica yeah it's erica nardini um secrets out but i always knew to turn and leave and i always got

annoyed if i was shitting and somebody else was like doing their hair in the mirror it's like i know you know what you know who it is i i have a clue you know you know you know by shoes everyone i know you know everyone knows by shoes yeah all right well i'm gonna keep saying names yeah we have to you have to say no. This is just like the chap soup incident at this point. You just gotta say it. You threw him under the bus, no problem. Big time. You have to. And I'm sure

they wouldn't. But he's a poop guy. A cardboard box of soups was absurd. It was five. Five soups. She said twelve. Yeah, it wasn't twelve. I wish it was twelve. They were all good. Do you want to square that away? Yeah. I mean, I don't know if there's much.

I think I've been vindicated a lot. That fucking refrigerator had to take everything by Friday. It was Thursday afternoon. That's right before Friday. Didn't want to get thrown away. These are delicious soups. Give me those soups. Yeah.

Okay. I think it was the sheer number, 12. Yeah, but it wasn't actually 12. It looked like a lot. No, it was two potato soups and two of the shrimp corn chowder or whatever. I think it was shrimp corn chowder, and then there was one wild rice and chicken. So it was five? Five.

Why did you leave the tomato bisque behind? Because that's disgusting. Tomato soup is horrible. I like tomato soup. It's an accessory. It is an accessory. It's a. Because that's disgusting. Tomato soup is horrible. I like tomato soup. It's an accessory. It is an accessory. Yep, it's a sauce. That's fine.

You need a lead with like a tuna melt or not tuna, turkey. Grilled cheese. Tuna melt could work. Grilled cheese. Yeah, tuna melt could work. Ham and cheese could work.

Solid grilled cheese. Yeah. Fair enough. I have to leave the room because we have our next guest coming in. Historically speaking, Ace wouldn't get along with this guest. Okay, mine eddie well not not eddie eddie too is it a mailman

yeah it's not a mailman is it is it a white is it a non-white is it an african lion it's not it's not a lion it's not a it's not a ventriloquist is it a cat it's not he didn't like the dummy me neither i'm so confused who is it it's uh it's a cat gotquist. Is it a cat? He didn't like the dummy. Me neither. I'm so confused. Who is it? It's a cat. Got a cat coming in. There's a cat coming in as a guest. So I was asked to leave the room.

Later. So I will see you guys later. See you later. Get out of here. Bring in the cat. Oh, there's a cat coming in here. Yes. If this cat's chill, it's the best cat of all time.

This doesn't seem like the vibe of a cat. I've always wanted to have a cat. This is not the vibe of a cat. No, this is not a cat room. There's no way this cat will be chill with us. No, you got to put them in like a spaceship backpack. Who's bringing in the cat? That's interesting.

Bring in the cat. If you have the cat, if you're out there and you hear this, bring in the cat. Tommy Lay. Mika. Look how cute that cat is. Oh, yeah, she's nervous. Hi, you. Hi, sweet girl.

Thank God Dave left. One pussy at a time. Yeah, hop in the chair. Do you walk her? I don't, but I figured... Hi. Oh, my God. Mika.

Hi, Mika. Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. Man, we got a lot of cat dads around here. She's beautiful. Dani is basically her uncle. Yeah, i've watched mika many times okay oh she's so pumped to have a new place to explore she's uh she's i think getting freaked out at how big this place is but yeah look at her tail going what's mika's

background how'd you get her what's your deal in chicago or new york i uh I think I can get her off the leash if all these doors are closed. I think we let her free roam. She's already out. There's not a lot of hiding spots in here, really. She's taking that off. Let her explore. Mika's also the doggiest cat of all time.

What do you mean? Acts like a dog. Whenever I would go to watch her, you can hear her at the door when she hears a jingle, just like a dog we barking. My cat does that too. When you can call her and you can hear her, it'll be like, muffin, psst, psst. And you'll hear the little, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Oh, she's in the locker already. I have always wanted a cat free range in the office. And look, she's up in the locker. They have them at liquor stores. We just need a bodega cat here. So Mika is a girl but uh i adopted her from the anti-anti-cruelty society yeah nice hero animal anti-cruelty societies in chicago and river north yeah many call me a hero for that but um definitely you

know who saved two is really that's the line that her. Yeah, I got her like at a very, it was very dark time, like just in life. I think it was like January of 2021. So it was like that, that dip of that, like second wave of COVID. That was a horrible era. Yeah. I was, I was out here, you know, I was out here back then, like living alone. Grew up in an apartment my whole life with a dog. So like I knew like a dog in an apartment is like a lot of responsibility yeah so like whenever i would like

talk to like friends or family like yeah you know it's definitely lonely out here during covid they would suggest getting a pet and it never really hit me to to ever like it was never like a a cat family or ever had a cat but um like a friend posted her as like a little kitten like on her instagram story and i simply replied like that's adorable yeah she happened to like be fostering it so it was like if she didn't like basically respond like hey i'll put your name right down and it's yours like i'll handle everything else then maybe i wouldn't have been so like uh gung-ho on getting it but it was super easy um cats are easy in general yeah yeah and there's like a

stigma travel yeah there's a stigma like you know you have a cat oh i didn't know like you're a cat person yeah there's gonna be a oh yeah yeah like i was like like once you like learn what a cat is there's no like craziness around we're all cat people here but it's like i think i think everyone if you're a normal person you are i'm continuously wowed at how much joy my cat brings to my day it's it's the funnest thing in the world hanging out with a cat alone a laser beaming yeah and just like hanging out and like i'll when i'm reading a book i'm on the couch with my legs like this if they're ever like this sprinkles laying right there like perfect it's so relaxing you probably smell sprinkles

right no diva shit no prima donna shit yeah and you were you're a manhattan boy born and raised so you find you didn't didn't get out of the city until what 21 yeah well i got here like uh like fall 2020 and you came here to shoot a just to help yeah didn't leave that was a wild story i came out here with uh donnie does to shoot a video for the weekend out here in chicago back when they had the office like in the the old office the farmers and farmers insurance and uh the weekend i was here uh their producer had like an emergency and basically had to like quit and since i was the only body here they were like can you fill in for the rest of the week

because they have a serious radio show they were like we literally don't have someone tomorrow to do anything and I was like yeah of course like it's COVID like life doesn't really matter right now I'll stay out here as long as you want and that turned into like do you want to stay out here permanently? They hotel California'd you. You got stuck here forever

Is that what that song's about? I think it's about yeah it's about a radio purdue fucking heroin well you know similar vibe the shining yeah yeah yeah kind of yeah now you just can't leave yeah yeah exactly are you like because as a new yorker born and bred like do you like it here yeah better or yeah no i mean i always it's like it's such like a it's the conversation it's always like um it's like from my perspective it's like impossible to compare because like manhattan new york is like where i was born and raised my entire life yeah until i came here which was like three years ago so i was like 27 um so it's like impossible you know like that's where my fan my friends and family

are and everyone in my entire life so it just so happens that's also new york city so like comparing it like out of like i can't like i can't not weigh that in so obviously i'm always gonna like new york better but yeah i always say like chicago is definitely the clear cut number two it's pretty sweet as a city like yeah it's it's got to be. She's very chill. She's super chill. She's very chill. I named her after Mika Zibanejad, who is like my favorite ranger, New York ranger. Yeah.

And my family just has a thing with like androgynous names for pets. Like we had Jerry, but she was a girl. And now we have Billy and she's a girl. Is Mika a girl or a boy? Mika's a girl. Okay. Hey. I've been thinking about getting a cat what what what do i need to know nothing dude literally nothing just feed them water them and honestly

clean their litter box i think it's like a travel bunch it doesn't matter because they can be at home for like four or five days by themselves easy just give them enough food and they'll be totally fine now the dogs have these like weird things like with miss peaches when she went to the vet that like gets them one HP. Where if they have a piece of chocolate, it's over. Is there anything like that with cats? Yeah. There's certain essential oils cats can't be around.

There's certain flowers that are really bad, like lilies. They're not supposed to. Palmetto? Because cats like to eat flowers and stuff. There's tons of stuff, but it's very avoidable. Okay. My cat eats balloon strings and diaper bags, the plastic of diaper bags. We'll chow down on it. He's been doing that for two years now.

He's fine. No, her favorite thing in the world is to chew on plastic wrapping of any kind. Yeah, he eats plastic like a motherfucker and he's been great. Does your cat swallow though? All I know is there's chunks missing. Does your cat swallow? I don't know. What breed of cat is that, Tom? All I know is there's chunks missing. Does your cat swallow? I have to get that. That's a good question, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. What breed of cat is that, Tom? I think it's called domestic short-haired, and that's about as much as I know. Yes. Domestic short-haired. I don't think they get too like- There's not many crazy breed.

In depth. I think that's what all of them are. Right. She's really pretty. She's got a very pretty face. Thank you. I know. I get that. I think I just kind of locked. She's really pretty. Like, she's got, like, a very pretty face. Thank you. I know. I get that.

I think I just kind of, like, locked out with this cat because, yeah, she's beautiful. She has a little dainty walk, like Brandon Walker. She's scary. She's got a little... She has, like, a model-esque... Yeah, I put, like, you know, zero effort into, like, how her demeanor is. It's just, like, how she turned out. Yeah.

I feel like that's how cats are. You put zero effort. They just are themselves. I know, but you always hear people who like hate on cats always like bring up examples of like yeah i try to pet it and like she scratches me or like tries to bite me and i'm like yeah cats like that definitely exist but unless you're allergic hating cats is a pussy move thank you yeah thank you you're insecure it is an insecurity thing um yeah i almost feel guilty sometimes though like what you were saying like with our job especially in living alone if i leave like it's just her right so like

i like sometimes i feel like she needs i should get a second one then i'm like well maybe i'm a cat person now yeah and then it escalates quickly yeah and you have three then you have four last thing are you hearing a lot of buzz from your fan with the earthquake yeah what's going on yeah that was 4.7 i can't help but feel left out because it seems like well i don't know i haven't seen an update any updates it seems like everyone's okay i've always wanted to feel one that's like on my bucket list and i didn't know i'm super jealous i i also that's also what i've like never i was like man what would that even feel like just yeah right you know i'm very jealous i don't know what it

would feel like i think you'd just be in shock and be like what happened and like a couple things be knocked off the shelf did candidate bill cotters uh make a statement about the earthquake he's gonna no he's gonna stop earthquakes i hadn't seen anything several hours after the earthquake um i think pft said that means he's pro-earthquake probably, which is not good. It's not good for anyone. Pro-national disaster. He tweeted, I know it sounds out there, but did, with a capital D, we just get hit by an earthquake?

It does sound. It's kind of a statement. I need him to be boots on the ground assessing the scene. He should be doing more. Walking around. Is there any big damage or no? Did you see anything? I don't think so.

It seems like pretty non-concept like yeah no bad happened we had a family friend that was close to the epicenter and they said it was light work nothing okay people i don't think he'll mind me saying it but barstool pat his mom was on the toilet up in boston and said she felt it on the toilet my dad philly area had an earthquake a couple years ago. My dad was on the toilet when it hit. Like, what are the odds of that? Philly. It's very exciting.

Yeah. Oh, it reached out. This one reached Philly? Yeah. Uh-huh. So. How did you bring her here? Yes, it did.

Put her in a little carrier? Yeah. Yeah. So she hates that. I was going to ask you guys. Do you guys ever, like, travel with your cats? Mine hates the carrier. Yeah, just to the shelter for appointments. Yeah. So she hates that. I was going to ask you guys. Do you guys ever like travel with your cats? Mine hates the carriage. Yeah.

Just to like the, just to the shelter for appointments. Yeah. I had to travel from. Yeah. She doesn't like it. I did the road trip. Yeah. We did 17 hours.

My cat and I and my kids. Yeah. Do you guys have any advice on like how to make that better? Or do you just deal? Cause like with her, she'll just meow at a consistent pace until she's out of the car. Yeah. So it's like meow meow meow meow and so if it's like a plane which i did once i felt really bad but she was just doing that

cat xanax yeah you guys you have to develop a sensory tolerance to that shit yeah listen to some horrible music i actually i'm fine it's not like it bothers me it's more like is she okay or is she having a panic attack being dramatic she always in like a carrier whenever you take her places yeah but yeah like the car i know letting them go i know i don't have a car otherwise that would be like the ideal situation i would just let her loosen the car but uh i think it's also just because she's maybe not used to it she's a free-range cat she's a free-range indoor cat i guess keep it around. Rudy, you have a show and tell item. Yeah. I didn't want to bring anything that crazy.

A dick swab. Oh, nice ring, by the way. Oh, this? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this isn't. I just. Are you on that fashion wave?

What? Do you wear rings? No, no. I don't know how this got on my finger today. Actually, this isn't my item. I just, I don't know how this got on. It's, actually. This isn't my item. I just don't know how this got on. It's a national championship. Oh, that's your...

Oh! Yeah, no, it is. You're right. Jesus, that's... How did you not know, Rudy? That is the most un-Rudy thing for you to do. Yeah, that's crazy. I forgot you had accolades.

Yeah, that would have been cool. No, this isn't it. I must have been getting dressed today, and it just sort of fell that get fell on that's crazy yeah but no that's not my item i'm trading i'm trading way cooler than that um this is sick are you gonna give that to somebody too no because it's not my item uh this is my blades of chaos oh wow go on all right why are they chained together my Blades of Chaos. Oh, wow. Go on. Why are they chained together? I'll tell you. So these are my Blades of Chaos.

They were forged by Hephaestus in the underworld. A long time stoolie, Hephaestus. Yeah, Hephaestus. And you only can get these if you pledge yourself to the god of war. Hold on, watch for the cat. Yeah, that would be. Yep.

Free reign cat. This is not cat friendly. These are not human friendly. Yep. Free reign cat. This is not cat friendly. This is not human friendly. These aren't god friendly. This isn't really anything friendly. These are only if you pledge yourself to the god of war. The chains wrap around your forearms and bind to yourself.

And you can throw them and then the chains will stay attached to your forearm and you can pull them back and you can only stop using them once you you filled your pledge the god of war we should uh test one out on barnaby's throat i mean i am kind of curious to see how hard those can cut show us demonstrate i will not do that forearm they're not they're not for mortals also they're like sharp as fuck are they heavy shit can you chop that snowman back i was just thinking that i was looking around

the chop that snowman chop that snowman chop that snowman let me get my chains in order hold on okay oh yeah bring them to the middle and chop them like a sacrifice which god of war is it odin uh kratos uh k. That's my favorite. KB, this would have worked for your Redwood. Easily. Oh, wow. There it goes, wrapping around the wrist. Well, we're not cutting the ventriloquist dummy up. We should, though.

Be careful, Rudy. Dude, you got to do it in one stroke. Oh, you're holding it? I was not thinking he was going to hold it. Hold it tight and decapitate that thing. Oh, my God. This is making me really nervous. Oh, that was awful. Oh, my God. that thing here's the issue it's just a different area of lore because these are meant for Greek gods Norse gods it's not a that's a different route it's caught

okay it's caught it's a Santa thing that's a snow guy. I don't see any marks on that doll at all. This thing has a spine. What is in this? Cut it open find out Scarf careful Rudy stop Rudy stop you wanted me to do this finish finish what you started I'm going to. Don't do it slowly. I'm going to cut this fucker's head off. It's making me nervous. Help, help. Yeah, these things are hard to wield, man. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow. This is a slow and painful experience. Yeah, yes, it is. Anyways, Megan, you can go while I decapitate this woman. My anxiety is sky high. Again, I don't have anything. Don't mind me. I'll do mine really quick.

Okay, go ahead. Again, I don't have anything. Don't mind me. I'll do mine really quick. This, we have an open closet in our bedroom. You just look across and see the hole from the people before us. And so Pat has just goofy clothes in his closet. And this has been staring at me from our bed for many months now. This is his vest. I don't know why. I kind of like it. I asked him about it.

That's his vest? Yes. He said he got it on Etsy. He saw it on Etsy and he had to have it. It was a Valentine's Day present for Kate. Yeah.

And this is just what's in the open air closet that's looking at it. Has he donned this piece? No, he hasn't. I don't think no shout out to him. No shame on him, but I don't think he could fit in it at the moment.

Um, but yeah, I don't know why. I don't know. Here it is. It just, this is what I see. Does anyone want to try it on?

I like that. I'll try it on. Okay. Is that supposed to be like mascara tears? I think so. I like that. Yes. I've seen a lot of ugly sweaters, but I feel like in the ugly sweater realm, there's a

lot of try-hards, but this one really nails it. It's naturally ugly. And he paid over $40 for it. Yeah, I would have taken my whole crew. Which is tough. That thing is ugly through and through. It reminds me of the... Remember the Stinky Cheese Man book?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Squids will be squids. Also, did he buy it in that color or has it faded to that yellow? No, that's beautiful. That's how it goes. That weirdly works. It's not ugly anymore.

No, it was. I feel like that would play. You look like a guy at Woodstock 99. Yeah. Yeah, that's totally Woodstock 99. Or you should be working the salty spoon. You're jacked up for Limp Bizkit. You're underneath the wood plank.

Are you ready? Yeah, dude. I'm going to do the rest of the show if that's okay. Yeah, please do. I can't believe that's working for you. You look kind of dope. Speaking of, I know the story behind your show and tell item, and I love it. Why don't you, while you're up. Yeah, while you're up're up grab it why don't you grab it all right yeah i thought i was gonna cut my finger off with that yeah i thought you were gonna cut your

finger off my hands my hands were just super sweaty watching yeah i got very yeah i actually really hate knives and things like that so it's weird that i have those you went sid from toy story on that. Yeah. Before Chaps does this, can someone hit the high noon read, please? Here we go. KB, get that heavy championship ring off. Sorry, let me get my ring off. I'm craving one. It's Friday.

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You can even scan the QR look for the pack with dave's face on it you can even scan the qr code on the pack and have el prez virtually join your party it's the best seltzer it's the best alcoholic beverage and as the weather warms it's only gonna be more in demand get the pack have fun with high noon and visit highnoonspirits.com and find the el prez pack nearest you all right all right so when i when i moved to chicago i got lucky and moved into like the best street ever like so many of the people are cool there hang out with the guys all the time and so we had a big white elephant party for christmas and one of the guys he found this behind a dumpster at his work and he brought it for his white elephant gift and it's this so this guy's name is his name is dave and we don't know what he's doing we don't know what

his hand motion means but some of us think that it's Wisconsin because it looks like a Wisconsin lake. Oh, shit. We can get that nabbed. Yeah, I want to find it. Geo Rainbow will 100% figure where that is. Yeah, I want to figure that out, and if anybody knows who this fella is.

Oh, he's the man. I would love to know, but this is my theory because it was behind a dumpster. This is a very random picture so what i think happened this fella died and this is from his funeral that was up on like the easel whenever he was there and oh my god that's actually a great hypothesis based on just just based on the size the randomness of the picture because if that like a dead dude, fortunately, picture. But he looks great.

His memory is living on. What does his tattoo say? Do we know? We couldn't figure it out either. It's not like super clear. And are those Corona pants? Yeah, it is Corona pants. Like this guy's an absolute legend.

He's wearing the tank top. He's doing all of it. Look, he was partying the night before. He had his green party on. so everybody knows that he could drink. He maybe wasn't here for a long time, but he was there for a good time. We're just coming to the conclusion that he's 100% dead. I think he's out of here. I think he might be out there.

Who knows? I think there's a good chance. I think there's a good chance. Look at that. Look at that belly. That guy parties. Yes, I love that. It's a very unique build he has.

It is. This is your cousin your friend if even if he's not alive we still want to hear from you we want to know what this guy's lore was what he was all about he could be a crypt too because that could be west side and he's wearing all blue yeah true true and so the best part about this is that whenever you get it in the white elephant you have to commit to putting it in a prominent spot in your home. So this was the centerpiece of our dining room for the entire month of January. And then next year, it's my responsibility to bring this to the white elephant.

So a different member of the neighborhood or the block gets to have this every year. Yeah. Nice. And was your wife okay with it? No, she wasn't but she she abided by the rules and now we're gonna give it to somebody next year i want that shout out dave and you said that looks like a wisconsin lake i think so based on the water based on just a flat out guess yeah yeah i'm with i think he's throwing up the the wisconsin yeah he might be like yeah that's what i think that's the wisconsin oh he does look like a

guy yeah and then he's got the tube like this dude had the best time you don't have a party bracelet on corona pants on a boat with a tube and have a bad time with it yeah that's like the ideal place to be in life that photo now the only thing i think would bad be bad is if we found out that this is he died on the boat and he died on the tube yeah yeah i was thinking about the entire time that would be rough yeah but i love the idea of throwing up wisconsin yeah yeah Well, Wisconsin people are very Wisconsin heads. Yeah. They are proud. They're a proud bunch. Very, very proud.

Very proud. He's giving me like South Jersey guy vibes. Very strong. That's Midwest. Where did you find that, chaps? In Oak Park? That actually might be pencil. No, I found it.

My buddy found it at his work. He works pretty close to Grand. So it was behind a dumpster that guy's from lsip illinois danny i don't know man probably is illinois that guy's from lsip illinois and he has a lake house in wisconsin i gotta know he has a friend whose parents have a lake house in wisconsin my buddy dave walked out or my buddy um steve walked out to his spot and there was, this guy was sitting behind it and he was just throwing his business trash away. There's no reason at all.

There's no other buildings really around and it was just there. So it was meant to be that we had it. It's in good condition too. And it is. I went to his house right around the holidays and there in his living room, Chaps is love it. And there he was like up on the, so you really were sticking with it. Yeah. I love guy the home we do got to figure out where that is i

mean it could be could be a visa it could be a visa we'll have to ask casey to see if she knows the question is is it really where or who i'm so much more interesting i think oh who i think if we find one then we'll figure out the other no no matter which way. It's like, don't fuck with cats. We just need someone else to help us. The entire internet. Yeah, we'll get that. I think the houses are going to be the key. We have to figure out which way the sun is pointing.

Kate, should we put this in our studio? I think he should. I think he belongs here somewhere. The veteran of life. Speaking of party guys, our next show and tell member he smokes ladies and gentlemen here he comes chaps briefly you said you do want to meet that guy if he's not dead or i think he is dead but if he's not i think he's got to come in at some point yeah that guy would kill it on the gauntlet i'm gonna kill it i'm gonna dm rainbolt right now yeah we got to get rainbolt on the case

is that the dude that does it on tiktok and he yeah he basically knows everything uh-huh he basically knows it's fascinating how like how does he do he put in so much work at least a repetition with the game knowing like in-game tricks meta hacks but he's he's also very intelligent he memorizes certain like countries infrastructure in terms of their guardrails license plates and then he also is very good at identifying soil and gravel. Trees and all that. That's so crazy. I know. I wish my brain would open like that.

Yeah, no. It's closed. No, keep it closed. I wouldn't want to be burdened with that knowledge. Imagine having to keep the whole earth in your head. That's a lot to know. He's a slave to his own skill, because now everyone's just like, now we've got to send it.

Yeah, now you've got ass say it. You got assholes. Rainbow, figure it out, nerd. Can I get a better picture of that real quick? You got to get the houses. I like that shirt, chaps. The houses are going to unlock it. Who is that? Exactly.

That's Dave. He's got a mean gut. No, he doesn't. That's a beautiful gut. Yeah, that's the dude that parties. That's a beer gut. And I'll say it. That guy fucks.

He also, you know what else he does? Fights. He does. And when he fights, his butt crack hangs out the entire time. Yes. Big butt crack. But sadly, he's a fighter, but I think that he's about 50-50 in his results. Oh, yeah.

He's definitely got pummeled. He's either going to knock someone out or get knocked out. He tries hard. You don't have that hairline and that forehead without getting molly-whopped. Oh, he has a proceeding hairline. that forehead without getting mollywhacked. Oh, he has a proceeding hairline. He has no forehead. Which is one of the telltale marks of being from

Wisconsin. They're huge hairline guys. That's actually a good point. Keeps them warm in the winter. It's almost like redable hair. I'd be like self-conscious about it. He has no forehead. I'd rather have no forehead than a big forehead. I'd agree with that.

Quigs has one of those. Like I'm speaking for someone that has a fucking Peyton Manning forehead. I'd rather have no forehead. I'm married to someone with a rather small forehead. He's got about two fingers. I didn't want to tell it to his face, but I was enamored by it.

And it's been gifted to our daughter. That's 100% better than... Yeah, that's the move for sure. Yeah, I'm happy he's not bald. He has lots of hair. Teresa Judice, Real Housewives. She's got a tiny forehead. Good point.

They're lovely. Anyway, Nikki Smokes, what have you brought for us in your shoe box? Speaking of someone who has a small head. I have a mystery box filled with a bunch of different things. And the first thing that's in it is a Kobe Bryant jersey. Oh, nice.

Now, it might not look like a lot, but if you guys watch Barstool, and if you guys know our boss, Dave Portnoy, when he was in Miami doing the pizza review, and that guy, the crackhead, was like, give it to her, crackhead. He was wearing this jersey. I actually brought this jersey to Dave before I worked here. Is here the one that just passed the one with no arms oh yeah the guy that walked through no arms for him i didn't know he made it though the jersey dave is wearing in that video is this jersey and i gave it to him and i was right there when that

happened so i saw the whole thing firsthand in person i didn't know you were there for that yeah it was crazy and then i like i was so scared to meet dave that like i was making videos at the time and i don't think i showed him one video and then like at the very end i handed him my business cards like thinking he'd hit me up wait you had a business card yeah that's shocking yeah it was it was a wild time i could see a business card so my whole thought process when i was like 18 19 was all right how can i get noticed by barstool so i was trying to make my own version of barstool and then maybe like get it to the point where it's like big and dave's like all right let's just bring this kid on and he could contribute to the company that was my thought process and then i started to realize like what

you have to do to run a business i'm like that's not me like i just i don't have the facilities for that at what point did you realize that after you made the business um no it was probably like two and a half years after that like once i started having to worry about like paying other people yeah i was like yeah this is crazy yeah that is you were in a position to have to pay another person yeah well i had people that were like volunteering to like write for free but then i just i just started feeling bad that i couldn't pay them and then i didn't know how to make money or generate revenue for the company so you had like a website like barstool's but you didn't know how to monetize it correct yeah yeah just throw it on google adsense or whatever yeah but that costs money so your goal you were

specifically targeting barstool to notice you yeah and then life is life is pathetically easy but it's ironic like i try to do all the right things to get on the radar and then i get hammered at a dolphins game and then that's how i got on dave's radar and like the worst possible way he's like this guy sucks yeah and i went to buffalo he's like all got on Dave's radar. And like the worst possible way. He's like, this guy sucks. And I went to Buffalo. He's like, all right, this kid's on a redemption tour. And then three months later. And then came the pizza review?

No. So this was two years before all of that. Oh, really? So I gave this to him in 2020. And then me and Dave didn't like talk on Twitter until literally a year ago. But how did that pizza review? Because that's like the one i'd say the most iconic pizza review did you yeah so he was gonna be there you just showed up well i knew barstool was in miami and kobe had just died and at the time it was like covet and gary v he's like if

you want to work somewhere follow everyone there like message him whatever so i literally did that like i followed like 80 of the company and dana beer sent out a tweet he's like is anyone in miami does anyone in miami have a kobe bryant jersey and like i i answered him real quick and he was like yo pull up and i pulled up met dave met spider met all of them and i gave him the jersey and then two years later i won the bet with dave does dave know that you were the one that gave the jersey yeah so he So he didn't know. Like, yes, he met me, blah, blah, blah. But when I had that video go crazy and he was like, this guy sucks. Like after the bills thing, he sent a tweet after that.

And he goes, Spider just told me this is a kid who brought me the Kobe Bryant jersey from Miami. So I'm going to downgrade him from sucks to he deserves to get beat up. So like, no, he didn't. I think that's an upgrade yeah no it wasn't yeah because he said this guy sucks i'm like i'm never working at this company i'm like i'm cooked but yeah it all worked out damn yeah all right so the next couple items i don't really care about them i just don't know what to do with them so So if you are a lady and you are in Chicago and you are missing a bodysuit, I have it. If you are missing a miniskirt, I also have it.

And if you're missing two thongs from Victoria's Secret, I also have those. So are you implying this is from the same person? Yeah. No, I don't know who they belong to. Could it belong to the same person? Maybe the underwear also the other ones are different nick make sure you're wearing black yes and i love black all i wear is black but you have to protect your reputation and make sure people know that those

are from different women yeah they are right i mean one might be from the same girl but yeah those are all from different women if these are all from different women that's four different pieces of clothing how did they get home? that's my question you just left without picking up your underwear stop treating my house like it's goodwill don't leave your fucking shit

at my house imagine if Smokes had Barnaby and the girls went to his closet to steal a pair of sweatpants afterwards and saw Barnaby in there he did he took Barnaby I thought he was to his closet to steal a pair of sweatpants afterwards and saw Barnaby in there. He took Barnaby. I thought he was leaving him. He loves that thing. You can tell he rehearsed that frequently.

What, the puppet? Honestly, I loved it. He was very talented. He was. He fooled me. Yeah, he did. Which is tough to do. And you were so fooled that you fooled me by getting fooled. That's shocking. What'd you do rudy knife what i do you did uh blades of chaos dude yeah it was a chaotic little cooler than a box of evidence i mean it's not evidence

it's it's fucking goodwill so i'm dropping all this off at goodwill and if you want your shit it'll be on the goodwill in west loop on randolph general question for the fellas and lady leaves stuff at your house yeah how long do you hold on to it well i just throw it in in the back of my closet like in case i get a text later like oh hey can i have my well no and then then they'll text me like hey i left my shit and then they'll come through get what they really want and then still leave their shit. What do you mean get what they want? Talking dick, folks. They'll be dicking them down.

Like, at least take your shit with you. Wait, do women yearn for your dick? I mean, it's good. It's solid. If I get past the first 15 seconds, I'm straight. I mean, they're leaving in such a haze, I forget their underwear. That's right. Might I recommend a cock ring?

Yeah. What's that? A cock ring. Ring? Like on my cock? Mm-hmm. It's a camera for your cock. I actually don't know.

Oh, you're talking like, I'm thinking like a nose ring, but on my dick? Oh, no, no, no. That's a Prince Albert. Yeah. Yeah. You know the security cameras outside of people's doors? Uh-huh. It's like a GoPro right at the base.

That's a thing? You are fucking... No, there's no way this is real. Wait, turn... Oh, I thought that was an actual... No, that's a ring. It's not like a camera. No, it's a ring.

So you put it on, you wrap it around your balls. Is this like a cuckold thing? How dare you, sir? No, it's not. So you put it on, it's supposed to make you last longer. A smorgasbord of apologies oh they have roman wipes for that now too yes they do it's like a neck brace have you tried it what roman wipes um i haven't tried it i have not why'd you focus on me

because you're in all black get after it's clearly attracted to you kv's got a girl like you're the only young gun that like still tries to get puss like me so i figured i asked you wait you think married people don't do it yeah well they do it but they don't care how long they last disagree sir yeah really disagree how many times have you and your wife had sex uh about 3400 damn yeah that's a lot of fucking it was only 3300 last i asked you you must have been getting after it are you sniff sniffed? It was cold this winter. Yeah. Are you sniffed?

Oh, brother, yeah. How's that process? It's pretty easy. So you go in. Actually, oddly enough, I wrote a blog about it today because of the dude that had his vasectomy during the earthquake. So you just go in there. Wait, what?

Yeah. This morning, a guy was getting a vasectomy and got a ping. It was one was my one of my favorite tweets of all time because i totally could i could get what this guy was going through yeah and so you walk in there and that might be the most awkward part because i did it on a military base and they had a woman who was like the prepper to get you ready make sure that you're because you have to be basically like a newborn rat whenever you go they make you go hardwood floors no hair at all newborn do they shave you then yeah if you don't shave well enough she will shave you oh so guys were

purposely letting her get the no you wouldn't want to with the lady that i had no she had i don't know fat elbows you get up on the table, you lay there, and she's like, go ahead and pull your underwear and your shorts down to your ankles. And I was like, okay. And then so she comes over with this antiseptic foam and puts it all over your junk and then wiggles it around like you're an earthworm. And so it's just getting all wiggled around so it's completely clean and then the doctor comes in and he was asking me about what's your favorite sports team while he's like holding my ball and cutting through it and it just feels like a really strong pinch and then that's it like you think it's going to be horrific i definitely had more pain playing basketball and getting hit okay wait they don't like put you under?

No. Like it's a local anesthetic. You get the shot and then it's like a five, ten minute procedure. It takes no time. And I was so fine, I went to the gym two days later and did squats. What? Yeah. I've heard people like they take weeks off workouts.

That's fucking dudes being pussy. If you do it. Pretty much. That's what they are. I wore like small jockstrap, medium jockstrap on. And if you keep everything tight, you're good. If not, your balls will never be the same. Oh.

What do you mean? Like they droop down. They'll have like a big scar on it. You'll have like a big lump on the side from the scar tissue. But if you keep everything up, it kind of is fine. How do you keep everything up? I don't want that. Like with the jockstrap.

Like you put on a super tight jockstrap. So it just, I don't know why I'm touching my dick right now. But you pull it up and you're totally good. Like I was fine, legit, two days later. And it's really fun because the doctor's like before you know you're okay you gotta masturbate like 25 30 times within the next week they give you like penance what yeah i swear to god can do yeah and so you're just like cranking up sir it's gonna be a long evening that's like five times a day. Yeah, like over the course of like a month.

And then once you jerk off a lot. Hold on, hold on. I don't think that most guys could do that. Yeah, who was your doctor? Five times, Jonathan Sins. Who wrote this prescription? So maybe not five, but it's a lot. Like three times at least a day you're supposed to do this.

So then whenever it's done, you go back to the doctor. They give you the little cup. That is the worst part because you go into this bathroom that's legit a hospital bathroom with a little red rope in case something happens. You could pull it and somebody will come in and rescue you. So you're sitting there, nothing to look at. Your phone doesn't work on a military base so you're like i'm going deep into this bank bank here all there is is an american flag and i asked

i was like can my can my wife come in i asked if my wife could come in and the doctor was like absolutely not and he was i was like why she's gonna hate that i'm saying this because saliva will mess up the result oh oh you didn't need a you didn't need head you could have just got her to flash you her pussy or something sorry babe yeah flash me that pussy um daniel how oft do you breed i mean i have two kids two kids so confirmed sex twice got it DNA like test confirmed

I mean they're blonde and blue eyes so I have no clue that was a fucked up question yeah that was fucked up dude he's a guest did your wife cheat on you he said confirmed I wanted to make sure it was actually confirmed. Just a question.

Gentlemen. So what I was saying was, it seems like Chaps was going to try on every outfit. That was precedent, right? I'm down for that, yeah. They look like there's some discharge still left in those underwear. Yeah, good call. Those underwear look crusty,

and I'm literally probably how many feet 26 feet away yeah don't put that on they've literally just sat on my closet floor I would not put those on if I put that thong

on you'd see my vasectomy you should be embarrassed it's not my fault I charged you the game Anthony what do you

do for a living so I work at a steel importing company so I just sit in my office and work does that involve Anthony what do you do for a living? So I work at a steel importing company So I just sit in my office Does that involve Importing steel? Literally?

Yes literally from Asia Into distributors in the US How do the deals get done? Is there like a translator? Do they speak English? They speak English Do you guys work on bridges? I sell the distributors i

don't really know what they who's got the best steel pittsburgh uh i import so in the u.s so you just receive it from other countries yeah got it pretty boring like i said i just how'd you get into steel but growing up you're like i'm gonna work in steel someday yeah yeah that's generally how it goes steel You'd steelhead. Yeah. I was wondering, how'd you get into the military? Like, I was so shocked that you were in the military. Why? I don't know.

I need to say something because Kate never talks about this. She doesn't. She has her picture up in a military museum. What? With her, like, she was what was called a lioness. So they went out with different infantry units. The things that Kate did in combat rival mine. Wait, what?

Shut up. What has Kate done in combat? She's done all kinds of stuff. Don't be humble. She's done a lot of shit. I guess I've never even thought about you in combat. I only deployed once. She deployed twice.

She went to a town called Marja. And there's not very many cities that are in the Marine Corps birthday message. One of them is Fallujah where I was at. The next one is Marja. So Kate has been in maybe the most deadly spot in Afghanistan twice. You said birthday message. That implies. Like the Marine Corps birthday.

So they'll go through like Way City, Okinawa, Iwo Jima. Like the biggest battles in Marine Corps history. They put that on there. Kate was in one. Shut the fuck up. Marja?

Yep. Yeah. No big deal. You're a little badass. So she's humble about not knowing stuff. Kate's done some badass shit. I've forgotten.

All right. Well, you want to give us like a quick tidbit about Marja? Marja ton of weed fields a ton of heroin that's where they do all the poppy yeah um is that when we talked about the other day like i would have smoked it is that where you were the heroin not the yeah not the weed i would never do i would never smoke weed um no yeah how long were you there? First time, seven months or so. And then the second time I was in a big fluffy base. And I would just go out occasionally.

What's it like being a girl on base though? Stop downing it, Kate. Be proud of your achievements. I was a 10. Did you get hit on a lot? For the first time in my life, I was a 10. All you have to do is put a little love spell on. Oh, yeah.

Owners are flying. When I went to the first time I was around ladies again, somebody came by with love spell, and I was like, I will marry you. What is love spell? It's Victoria's Secret perfume. The old Victoria's Secret spray. It was like the number one scent. It was like the smell of the mid-2000s.

Yeah. Yeah. Like a, yeah. It was purple, right? Yeah. And without our people like Kate and what the lioness did, tons more infantry dudes would have died. Like she went into different towns,

talked to different women, found out where they're at because women only talk to women. She would have all kinds of different conversations. She took care of kids. How many languages do you speak? Like the thing she's done is amazing. So you were mixing it up with civilian women and children? Yes, that was my main job. How scared were you when you were out on these missions uh only a few times

really so you said you were there for you didn't want to look like a pussy in front of the infantry guys and the power of shame is so powerful i would have like stepped on a landmine if it meant looking cool so i was like oh my god wasn't that yeah anyway who's next on the fucking thing i can tell that she did do a lot of badass shit over there because you got her blushing so hard right now i must i really yeah i really did yeah exactly she knows she knows she's like i'm badass so now with kate's multiple broken back she should be like, it happened to me in Marja. I know. You have to. Breastfeeding is a way less cool answer.

What was worse, going to Marja or being pregnant? Being pregnant. Big time. I've never been to Marja, but I say yes to that as well. That one lasted nine and a half months. The Marja trip was only seven. Exactly. It was much quicker, and I got to smoke cigarettes. How the cigarettes out there you have to roll them yourself i smoked a chinese brand called

pines with no filter the entire time hell yeah but you better believe i signed up for the burn pit registry i was like who knows what my lungs from those burn pits and i was smoking chinese what's a burn cigarettes oh god it's a lot of thing we had to burn we like lived in mud huts and so you had to burn all your trash and all your shit and everything and because it was such a violent area it was like right you had to keep everything close it was a small so we like literally slept next to the holes we were burning our own shit in with diesel with diesel and so i slept next to that for months and so eventually i will get cancer when you're shitting are you shitting in these holes or you have a bathroom and like scoop it

out i'm we had a we put a plastic they call wag bags you put a plastic bag in an ammo can sprinkle some kitty litter in it and take a shit and hope that it clumps up it is legit kitty litter and not anything special kitty litter the worst part was you had to walk your own shit bag over to the burn pit. So everyone would know. So I was the only woman. And I had to walk past all these dudes with a hefty bag. I'm like, tough MREs yesterday. Jeez, tortellini.

And so I did not get laid. Not at all. Almost the big shit lady. Fucking Marja. There goes Kate again with another bag of shit. Yeah. Spring of 2010, which again with another bag of shit. Yeah. Spring of 2010, which was when it was popping off. You said there was a stint where it was fluffy or comfortable, but what was the stint when

it wasn't? Sleeping on the dirt in mud huts and shit like that with just razor wire keeping you from getting shot at every day. It was a thing. Kate's like, can you guys quit? Stop talking about me. Yeah, but anyway. So there I was.

You were deployed, right, in Shreveport? Yeah, basically. I was in the swamp my entire life. That's basically the Colton Gull Valley. Also, Shreveport is, I'm from Lafayette. Get it right. Lafayette, I-10. I'm not good with directions.

Word. How do you not know if a road goes, like a major highway goes through your town. Yeah, I'm sure it does. I had a big highway go through the town, but I'm just, I also don't, don't know the difference between like freeways and interstates and, and like, what is it? I don't know what freeway means particularly. Or like expressway. What was the difference? Freeways, West coast.

You know this shit. Yeah. Freeway is what they call in the West. Oh, it just turned.way's west coast. You know this shit. Yeah. Freeway is what they call in the west coast. Oh, it's just nomenclature. Yeah. Kyle, how do you know that Dave knows that? Because he's a logistics guy. He knows he's really good with distance.

That's true because of your old job. Truck guy. Truck guy. Two to eight lines. I feel like everyone has a logistics phase. Okay. You have to go through it. It's very...

No, no. I went through it. I'm in my logistics era. You had a logistics phase. Okay. You have to go through it. It's very... You sure? No, no. I went through it. I'm in my logistics era. You had a logistics era? Yeah. I had a logistics era. Chicago? That's absolutely...

Chicago's a logistics hub because it's a major city right in the middle of the country for the most part. Oh, yeah. A part of someone's life. No. I don't remember. In Chicago, I would say a solid amount of people that started a sales job at a logistics firm. Oh, it's a popular career.

Yeah, yeah. It's like a hobby. That's what my uncles out here in Indiana, like they're logistics people. That's what they do. Yeah. All right. The four biggest ones are headquartered here. Yeah.

Che, you're up. Che has been waiting so patiently for this. All right, I'll come there for a second. And remember, this is a talent he brought. What do we think he's going to do? I'm surprised the dog didn't eat those underwear. I know. I hope it's a cartwheel.

There's a mic right over there, I think. No, you're good. It's on the ground. Oh. Oh. Juggling. Here we go. We just learned this. Okay. I don't know if it's possible. Can we get a little background music? He. Juggling. Here we go. We just learned this.

Okay. I don't know if it's possible. Can we get a little background music? He sees the balls. Carnival music. Nice. Or a yakky sack. This is Stephen Jay's show in town.

You want to maybe get in? Yeah. Yeah, this isn't a talent show. Get in the middle. Go in the middle. Not there. No. No, he's not going to do that. Go in the middle. Not there. No. I also don't want Ace to... No, he's not going to do that.

Go in the middle. Get in the middle, Jay. Are you scared of dogs? Ace is the best dog. He respects juggling. He's not going to know what's going to happen. Come on, you clown. Juggle for us.

Okay. Whoa. Man, you nailed that. You got to go for at least 30 seconds. He's blaming the balls. He's blaming the dog. Maybe you should. Oh, no.

Shay. Come on, Shay. Lock in. You have to do at least 10 before you can leave the. There we go. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Come on, lock in. There you go.

Oh, he got it. There you go. Okay. Wait, Shay, let me see those. Let me see those balls. If Rudy can do it off rip, then that's not your... You got to do something else.

Yeah, you got to find a new... No, we couldn't find the tennis balls. And we do have other people with stuff. Oh, yeah. Tell them to come in. Yeah, come on in. Next person, if you're out there. Should I run out and gather anyone?

Sure. Yes, please. Thank you, Megan. All right. Oh, my God. Rudy just absolutely. That was a cucking. That was masculine.

Oh, and he's getting cocky, switching up the rhythm and everything. Oh, wow. Eat the apple, Rudy. Eat the apple. Yes. Rudy, wow. The elevator. He's about to show rhythm and everything. Oh, wow. Eat the apple, Rudy. Eat the apple. You guys want to see the elevator? Yes. Rudy, wow. The elevator, he's about to show it. Oh.

Oh. Shay just got put in a body bag. Wow. Wow. Hey. That was incredible. That was amazing. What's up, Donnie?

That felt so good. Oh, there's a mic over there, too, if you want to talk about it. That's the only time I've ever gotten one over on Shay. Well done, Rudy. All right, we got if you want to talk. That's the only time I've ever gotten one over on Che. Well done, Rudy. We got Jake. Come on in. Yeah. Oh, first of all, Die Trying.

Die Trying, yeah. Season two is out now. Motocross Race was the first episode of that season. So I'm happy that's back. I guess this kind of goes, I was going to bring my school bus trophy, but I left it in my roommate's car last night and he uh left so okay i didn't bring that but i brought in the rough and rowdy belt oh yeah you're gonna have to swap that what's that you're gonna have to swap that i'll swap this yeah it's just sitting

at my desk so i'm happy to swap it but uh god you did that yeah i know um he do you uh do you keep in touch with the dude you fought no we we dmed a little bit after, and then that was it. Is there bad blood? No, there never really was. I never met him. He was definitely easy to rival because he was publicly a dude. Yeah, exactly. His personality online is much different than in reality,

but it was an easy one to get. I was like, yeah, I'd love to fight this kid. He cooks with his shirt off, and that was kind of his whole personality. The pasta bitch guy? The pasta bitch guy. Yeah, the bitch. I was like, yeah, I'd love to fight this kid. He cooks with his shirt off. And that was kind of his whole personality. But I only had like a month. The pasta bitch guy? The pasta bitch guy. Yeah, the bitch. But that fight, it was the only, I think,

the only barstool employee fight that wasn't the main card because we had Pac-Man Jones. Oh, yeah. So it was like kind of, I think people forget it happened. But it was still fun. It was a good time. I remember it. You still do jujitsu.

I do, yeah. Competition coming up in a couple weeks for that. you're like we're at yeah that's in chicago here at some local gym we all come can we all go yeah yeah that that's it'd be cool if you brought a crew though it would yeah can i be in your entourage maybe i will see how this i haven't competed as a blue belt ever before i've only done it as a white belt and blue belt game i think it's's going to be much harder competition-wise. So I don't think. I'm just going in with no expectations. I'll bring my blades. That's awesome.

Yeah, bring your blades. The blades of chaos. Even though they're useless. Just in case there's a little static. I saw you try to. Did you make it through the snowman or not? No. The snowman is tougher than I thought, but I did impale him.

Okay. And I was terrified I was going to cut someone or myself. Can you pass the blades of Chaos down here, please? Oh, that's a bad idea. Speaking of knives. Throw them. Toss them. Want to play knife toss?

On a scale of 1 to 10, like really, truly, how anxious do you get when you hear that Mincy's in your kitchen zone? It's pretty high. It's like the one thing that when I saw he was doing the hot dogs, I tuned in briefly. And then I saw he was using the really expensive pan with in briefly just to and then i saw he was using the really expensive pan with metal tongs on it and that's the one that's when i texted tj i was like just he can use any other pan if you can find it just not that not the red one that he picked yeah

but yeah you never know what's gonna happen we did we filmed a funny episode the other day that's gonna come out next week no spoilers no spoilers we also filmed a funny episode it's been a fun week filming in the kitchen but the mincey stuff is he somehow did worse than he did the first time you guys assumed in cooking so it's he never fails to to amaze me in that kitchen kate don't act like you don't know super excited for you say what the food item is yeah we made grilled cheese again we're gonna remake the grilled cheese that he made for the yak challenge and he somehow improved but at the same time didn't like didn't retain anything so it's gonna be it'll be a fun episode but i'm gonna do a series now after seeing that where i'm gonna have try to teach mince basic forms of cooking like we'll start with chicken that's gonna play yeah

please i'm excited for that one yeah i could actually use that as well all right malice i want to do an office top chef yeah but college cooking style i was gonna bring this up to you this week hammer drunk yeah like but with only a microwave uh joe flamin here okay you're uh obviously a judge yeah yeah yeah and then but it's like college. It's like dorm room cooking. I think that'd be fun. Oh, yeah, you would love it. Yeah. Yeah.

That works. You just want to eat a quesadilla. That's fine. Hi. Quesadillas are good. Hi, Jake. What do you got? Just your fucking dog?

That's all you needed to do. Thank you. Anything new or same old? He's been kind of an asshole today. He attacked Jerry a couple times. Really? And Jerry saw him. He's a bad dog.

That's not true. Well, I saw it. I was hoping you would do the dog and the guitar. Do a little bit of both. Oh, yeah, you have to sing. Oh, yeah, sing. Yeah, can you sing with the dog, please? That would be...

Look at that. That's pretty funny. It is. Hi. All right. Yeah, she's nailing it. Can you conduct a trick or something? Can I do anything?

Tell it to do something. All right, hey. Sit down. Sit. Yep. Great. I've never heard someone self-consciously try to have their dog do a trick. You were on the couch last night.

Yeah. Hey. Osmo? Do you have any good background? Any good info? Away from the blades. So when I picked him up, I got him from Paws, which has been great. Can you ask him to sit down?

Oh, yeah. Can you sit down? Sorry. yeah. Can you sit down? Sorry. Sure. Is he good with Dave's dog? Okay. So I got Osmo in November from Paws. They were very awesome.

I did not expect to get a dog the day I walked in. I just kind of went to look around, and I was going to get him after March Madness wrapped because it's kind of when things lighten up work-wise. But kind of just got him the day of on a whim, and it's been good. If you go to a shelter, you're coming home with it. Yeah, I didn't realize that at the time. Stay away from the knife. So he's been really, really good.

Great addition to my life, and I'm happy to have him. He's got a very fluffy tail. How many people now have gotten their dogs from Paws out here? Probably a lot. That's where I'm getting my cats. If I do, yeah. How many cats now have gotten their dogs from paws out here? Probably a lot. That's where I'm getting my cats. If I do, yeah. How many cats do you have now? One. Oh, I thought you had more. Yeah.

Almost a quarter dozen. I wanted to get a Bengal cat, but they're illegal in the city. They also tear your house up. They look super cool. And you have to feed them raw chicken? You have to feed them raw meat and I guess they have to be, if they're inside too long, they have to run around and hunch it.

They're basically like a dog. So if you wanted a dog, they'd do it. You had a Bengal cat? I looked into it. John Jones has one, I think. Yeah, they're illegal in Chicago. And same with monkeys. They only allow one kind of monkey in Chicago.

That makes sense, yeah. Monkeys are like babies. They live for like 50 years. You wanted a monkey? I did. Well, I was like oh this would be cool to have a little mini monkey and i looked into it was like they're they live for at least 40 to 50 years it's like a pretty big commitment what are those and they're flying

super sad without another sugar gliders yes the sugar gliders i want those i've been looking into those they're nocturnal they will be up all night they are awesome and they're adorable i wanted they're so cute when i was a a kid, yeah, they're awesome. They love doorknobs. Really? You just, like, hold your hand out, and they fly right into it. Yeah. I want to get into falconry.

Dude, there's an account I saw. That's a new level. That's tight. I found this Instagram account. There's a guy that does pest control in Arizona with falcons. You have, like, a pigeon problem or something in your business, it brings this falcon and then he just has them hunt.

Well, there's a guy down the Jersey Shore now who because the seagulls will take the sandwiches and all your food right out of your hands. And there's some areas where it's so bad that you can't enjoy the shore. And there's a falconer who like go, I think it's in Wildwood and he walks up and down the beach

and his falcon attacks the seagulls and keeps them away from the people. Imagine getting to walk up and down the beach with a falcon all day. That's like my new dream. I also have his falcon attacks the seagulls and keeps them away from the people imagine getting to walk up and down the beach with a with a falcon all day that's like my new dream i also have a falcon story in high school this kid that i would occasionally uh maybe purchase marijuana from his stepdad was a falconer and i would go over there and just get high as shit and his dad would like have the bird with the blindfold on and just humongous cage and it was just the most strange like mix of things in the entire world so intimidating those when they have those

like the blindfolds on and then you take it off you're like oh shit is about to go down yeah they use them at airports too like yeah there's a bunch of seagulls and or like ravens or whatever flying around they'll release those to get them the hell out of there donnie and i were flying from tajikistan to dubai and there was a whole row of just like falconers and their falcons that had their own what on the plane yeah sorry real quick it's a huge inexpensive speaking of open areas uh we gotta talk about draft kings that's right the greens at augusta will soon host golf's greatest players and draftings is bringing you closer to the action with a major offer to celebrate the tournament. This week all and I mean all customers can deposit ten dollars or more and receive a ticket to DraftKings Millie Maker contest for one shot at a one million dollar top prize. Playing is easy assemble a team of golfers while staying

under the salary cap then sit back as your players score points. That's over at the DraftKings Sportsbook, our favorite sportsbook, and the only one we use. Shout out, DraftKings. What do we got this weekend, bet-wise? I don't know yet. I haven't figured out if I want to ride that DJ Burns bus or not. I feel like it could be fun.

What's Caitlyn's over-under? I have no idea. That's an Iowa thing. I'm not an Iowa girl. Right, you're still probably a little bitter. Yeah, I'm a little upset. It's okay. We still have a national championship from last year.

No big deal. I think it's awesome that Big Cat got Quigg's tickets. He's going to pay for his flight and his two tickets and all that to go to the game. And then he got Tate to go to the game tonight, too, or tomorrow. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know that. The Iowa game, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Very cool. Big Cat, or tomorrow. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know that. The I.O. game, yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

Very cool. But, Kat, if you want to hand anything to me, I'm just kidding. Do we have any other people out there outside the... Liam needed to come in, I believe. I think McKenzie. If anyone's left, get them in. Go wrangle them, Jake. And while we wait, I want to see if i could bring something up

yeah of course wanted to see if we could give some support to our favorite wwe fan robbie fox robbie fox favorite wwe fan at the barstool oh by far yeah uh-huh so uh premier wwe you know his podcast my mom's, has been stuck under 50,000 subscribers. Can we give it a little bump, guys? Yeah, a little yak bump. Give it some work. If we can get it to 50,000, I'll get wet.

Or mousetrap. You'll get wet on the spot? Yeah. Or mousetrap. What about pee pants? You just want to get wet? If you want to get wet, you can get wet. You are on the wet wheel. Oh, we have a huge wet wheel today in case people oh kind of protected ourselves daniel are you a sporkle guy is that why you started doing it no no i'm really not i kind of just got into it and i just record them all on my phone and put them down i think one of our biggest criticisms is that we always fuck up preparing the guests for the Sporkle round.

And we do. Because they always sit down. Does that frustrate you? No, I think it's more fun when they have no idea. I mean, watching Jerry not know Benjamin Franklin was... Or when they couldn't name a tiger i mean that was just phenomenal yeah that was amazing yeah so it all adds to it even when i mess up and i read a spelling mistake i think it's even funnier because okay you guys get frustrated good to know yeah

keep it up keep adding maybe some intentional mistakes yeah as long as it's not ours all right all right blot what do you got i brought a presentation that uh lukey made i haven't looked at it yet i sent it to uh sam and tj so hopefully they could pull it up this is your little brother luke yeah who has been helping us with anus stuff and he's gonna be in town soon oh sweet is he also a red also a redhead? Nope. I'm the only one. You're the lone one? Yeah. Yeah, I wonder how that happens. My grandpa thought it was Milkman

because my mom and my aunt are both redheaded as well. Wait, what? My mom and my aunt are both redheads, but my grandpa and my grandma have no redheadedness at all. Oh, nom de padre. Okay. A presentation from your brother. And you're saying you haven't seen it yet you don't know what this is nope okay oh i'm excited for this blutman show and tell

by the blutman i suppose okay all right you got you got you got to narrate are you his champion my cool things most of my snazzy collectibles are back in vegas so i made a well he made a presentation to show you all my super rad stuff don't get too jealous and then there's a picture of a banana. That's me. Wait, wait. Okay. Yeah, that's me. Oh.

Now, is this you or your brother? This is you. That's me. He's doing a little trolling. All right, now narrow it. What does this say? Go Bengals. I used to call them the Bagels as a little kid.

I just liked, you know, Chad Otrosenko and TJ H's from chile and andy dalton and all that stuff wasn't a bangles fan but i suppose we could do this yeah uh that's a signed signed mini helmet by chad otrosenko amazing yep thanks you're welcome that's that's my dog yeah i'll give it its flowers talk it up he has a paper towel on this yeah his name's brewing as you can see dog brewing hat okay and what is like your best memory with this dog not that one uh probably when he asks for french fries as always that always gets the people when he how does he do that when he asks for it only sees he got french fries and some restaurants he prefers more than others and and he'll get hyped up and he'll start and start asking and clawing and and jumping and what's his favorite fry? There's this restaurant right by us in Vegas that I really liked

called Big B's Barbecue. He really liked it. He's a Big B's guy. He also fancied In-N-Outs. Bruin Hat. All right, comprehensive. Dog. Oh, you have a soft spot?

Bruin poolside. Deal with it. Explain. It was a windy day. Are both your dogs named Bruin? No, that's the same dog. Oh, why is it the same? Second dog slide.

That's the same dog. I thought that was a different dog. No, that's Bruin still. Dog two threw me off. Two dogs are the two dogs deal with it is like deal with it this is the same dog and same name uh yeah uh it was a windy day chilling poolside at the old blotman estate what do you mean windy look the wind windy day in las vegas the wind is them. It's about to blow them over into the pool. Okay. All right.

Oh, a video. Dog 30. Bruin with a low IQ. Oh, Bruin is stuck. He can't do it. He's so upset. He went into the closet to go get a frisbee and got stuck he's still in there yeah he wasn't the smartest dog is he dead oh is he oh no he's alive okay this powerpoint takes a sad, sad turn.

No, he's still alive. He's still kicking it. All right. For now. Dog voice. There's going to be a lot of brewing. He's thirsty. Got all his drinks in different poses.

Oh, yeah. Of course. Tired. I'm a huge Bruin head. It's a new dog. Same dog. How foolish. When did he look like this?

At the beginning of his life. Is this presentation asking yourself? I didn't make this. Lukey made this. These are the graphics he does for you they're really high level no nerd all right what else dog six okay what's happening here looks like a snowy day oh snow snow in ve. Rare snow day. And I guess snow got on him. I can't really see that.

Get wrecked. That wasn't the best video to include this. That's okay. No, I'm enjoying this. Yes. Whoa. Dog seven. Still the same dog one.

Bruin. Totally jubilar. I like how he has surf. But it's totally just hanging out yeah dog okay go what the dog doing he's got my dad's glasses on and he's got a laptop that's pretty sick that is sick that is dope that is. I'm praying for dog eight. Yep. There it is. Dog nine.

I want to go fast. Dog nine. Treadmill. He broke the treadmill. He is going fast. Fearing for his life a little. The treadmill was his favorite thing. And then he broke it. How? He got a tennis ball like stuck in

the treadmill or something. It was never the same again. It didn't work. I had a friend that had a finger get stuck in the treadmill and it didn't work the same either. He lost the whole top of his finger. He had a nub. Permanently? Yeah. John Neal Tucker. Shout out him. Johnny what? John Neal Tucker. Him and my dog got something.

He was also a Marine. Oh yeah. A lot of marine buddies listen i have a marine buddy who put his fingers in the lawnmower and we called him nubs yeah that's a tough injury to have when you're a veteran when he was running for uh school office he said one man one vote one thumb i thought it was a really cool slogan he was an early thumb loser oh Oh, yeah. He was like eight or nine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Straight vibes. As opposed to great hair. Again, a windy day in Vegas there. Okay. A little frazzled. Pac-12 after bark. That's going to be a play on the words there from luke he's back 12 after dark liam i think you're underselling how much this dog means to you

bruin's a good dog look at that talk talk your dog up yeah i don't have to talk him up you've seen the pictures in the videos bruin bruin's so much better than osmo. It's crazy. Who's Osmo? Jake Stoll. Oh. He doesn't do much. He just be barking. Okay. Bruin. He's got remotes on him.

Do not turn. We all just got Blutman. We got Blutman. True. He does like having remotes on him for whatever reason and they'll just sleep through it understandable it helps him sleep a pillow perhaps not really sure the logistics of his brain okay a baker's dozen oh a script you fell asleep reading our father marky's script. Not sure what script.

Now give us a little bit of backstory when you read these slides. I don't remember this at all. Okay. Your dad is a man of many scripts. He's written for so many shows. Yeah, I guess. Tried to. Some of them don't become shows.

A lot of them are efforts to become a show. Okay. So he's failed a lot. Well, I think everyone in the industry fails yeah yeah okay it's a it's about how the the few times you succeed how the impact lasts was that the end we didn't have an end slide that looks like the thank you liam that was great amazing yep yeah your dad uh your dad tweeted at us too oh wait after we did the bracket oh that yes i thought that was cool megan thought that that was him i thought it was his actual dad oh that was amazing i haven't seen a picture of his dad yet i guess haven't looked hard enough but yeah i thought that was his dad

i was like i thought it was his dad the whole time really no i know his dad i don't know i don't know your dad this was the voice of many cartoons i thought he was his dad. I thought it was his dad the whole time. Really? No, I know his dad. I don't know what your dad looks like. This was the voice of many cartoons. I thought he was just doing a really good job. Wait, what is going on right now? He did the voice of Pinky and the Brain and then another one, right? Your dad? No, my dad got the guy who did the voice to send in a video to the guys on the bracket

who did Best Child at TV show. And Pinky and the Brain was on there as was Hey Arnold. So it must have hit a soft spot for those who were on there. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, those two played in a matchup in the Bracket podcast. And this guy who his dad knows

happened to voice characters from both shows. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, very cool. But the guy... So this is not your dad. No. I thought this was your dad. Okay.

Me too. Greetings, Barstools the bracket it is i the brain of tv's pinky in the brain how can you expect me to take over the world if you don't even have me defeating hey arnold that's right brain it's me big bop attack bay arnold that's right low tech the beeper beats your high tech invindibulator. Go screw yourself, Bob. Whoa. I agree with him. Pinky should have won that one.

He didn't say that. He kind of alluded to it. Nah. Nah. I love Pinky and the Brain, man. Me too. That was one of my favorite things growing up. Not better than Hey Arnold.

Hey Arnold. So that's not your dad. Got it. No. Got it. Okay. Just the guy who did Voices. I'm confused often, man.

And yeah, we didn't. Boy Meets World to me is more of like a teen or younger adult show. So I didn't. I think a child at TV. I didn't snub him on purpose. Exactly. Yeah. All right.

Who's next? Yeah. Goodbye. Enjoy. All right. Who's next? Yeah. Goodbye. Enjoy, bro. Is there anybody else? Later, Wyatt Liam. I think Mackenzie had something.

Okay. Mackenzie. Oh. Oh, hey. Come on in. Hop at the mic. Donnie, thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Hello. What do we got hello okay so i had okay so i have a better one but i don't have it with me um and it's at my parents house but i actually do have an emmy oh oh the trophy yes i have the actual like trophy but i don't have it with me it's like so big and heavy so it's just like always been at my parents house what is that for yeah uh so i used to work at mlb network and it's was for oh your own me yes my own yes oh wow mckenzie um and it's like it was for like best sports like studio show that's amazing yeah so it would have been really cool if i had it why don't you have if i have your apartment well so when i got it i was like living in new york and it got delivered to my parents house because that was like the address i put and it was just like so heavy and big there was really nowhere to put it in my new york apartment

and then when i moved here i just forgot to bring it with me i bet they're so proud to show oh my god they love it it's it's also way more fun that they have it because they'll have people come over like our friends they're like oh what is that and then my daughter they get so excited to like tell me i'm like i love that yeah and i'm like you guys can just tell people it's yours like just make up a story like but they love it so much so like i just i have kept it there and then i haven't i just haven't had the chance to bring it to my apartment but that would have been really cool for me to have but i bet they're more happy that yeah it's got to stay

with your pain no had it than if they want it personally yeah that's also very true yes they yeah they are very proud of it but yeah they love having it they like have it on our like above our um fireplace on the mantle it's up there yeah yeah um so that's very fun but it's no box of used underwear no it's no it's no uh put powerpoint how could i follow that with the dog i don't know but um yeah i do wish i had it if i get it to chicago i will bring it in and i can show everyone uh but it's just yeah you're only three awards away from the EGOT I yep I saw a TikTok the other day that said that and I it was like oh something and I was like oh speak for yourself because I only have three more pop punk yeah I musically it's

not I can't so you can lip sync and you can produce that's true that's also true okay okay I'm gonna get it You guys just convinced me. Oscar winner. Yeah, exactly. But the other thing I have is a Browns jersey, but it is a Brady Quinn Browns jersey. Oh, that's a relic. And I got it when I was like 10 or 11. Probably I was a big Notre Dame fan.

So when he got drafted, I told my dad that I needed his jersey his NFL jersey was this because you enjoyed him as a player or you had a childhood uh both for sure I probably more the crush thing because I probably didn't really under I understood football when I was younger but I just liked watching it I didn't like know the rules and stuff or like stats or anything so it was definitely more so the crush right he was probably like my first oh and what about this new quarterback this current oh the notre dame guy riley no no one that had his rib made from the one who just the one oh sam hartman oh yeah yeah yeah he's he going to the league he was at the combine yeah he'll probably be like every other notre dame

quarterback just sitting hanging out yeah back up yeah i'll get making money i said i'll buy his jersey if he gets drafted um but yeah when i was like 10 i really wanted this jersey and i've had it ever since and it still fits me um an oklahoma drew i don't have that i honestly don't know rudy people always say that i don't know what it is like i don't know i know what it is but i don't know how it works like i don't know what you i don't wouldn't know what it's like jousting with your shoulders right with your entire body other and your head really yeah oh okay i know what it is you lie on your back opposite yeah no i don't get up and then you try to tackle each yeah have you ever seen Elk fight?

It's kind of like that. Much like Elk. Beach in Daytona, blackout drunk. That's where all the kids are. Okay, yeah. Now I know what you're talking about. No, I don't think I could do that. Unless it was like against Sam Hartman.

I'll tackle him. Oh, whoops. Sorry. I'm on your way. Just give him a big hug Yeah I will get Yeah Sam Hartman is very Very handsome too

Good Notre Dame quarterbacks They're usually Great Pretty handsome Yeah One of the best But yeah that was my show and tell And I'll bring my Emmy in

Please show you guys Log it in Or just have your parents Send a picture And then we'll pull it up Oh okay I do have a picture of it If

Yeah I can send it to someone Send it to Che How do they give it to you? Do they just mail it to you? So it's in yeah they mail it to you and it's in this Like big like box It's just in like a big box How big is it? It is okay this is the picture who should I send it to?

Email it to TJ I don't think I have Che's number Or you can Slack it to TJ. I don't think I have Jay's number. Or you can Slack it to TJ. You can describe how big it is. Okay. I'll take your word for it. It's like,

like a penguin? It's probably like this big. Like a penguin. Yeah, like a penguin. Yeah. The size of a penguin. Yeah. I didn't know it was that.

I thought it was like this. Yeah, I wouldn't think it was two feet. No, no, no. It's like, here's the photo. Oh, that's big. That is big. You need it next to this. Yeah, I wouldn't think it was two feet. No, no, no. It's like, here's the photo. Oh, that's big. That is big.

You need it next to something. I know. I was picturing the guy who stands straight up. I need to see a penguin next to it. Yeah. Have you ever made an acceptance speech? No, I haven't. I don't know what I would say.

What is the box like? Is it regal? Is it cool? What's in the box? That's what the box, this is on the box. That black thing. Oh, it's a nice box. Do they write something for you in there? Or is it regal is it cool that it's that's what the box the box this is on the box that black thing and then they write something for you in there or is it just in the box yeah like is there like a hey congrats uh no no um just like everything that's on it and then it's funny because on the bottom of it it's like it basically tells you that you can't resell it like if the person who won the emmy like passes

away or something happens to them like they have to return it to the academy so you couldn't like pawn it yeah like i couldn't like my parents couldn't like keep it for their own if like i didn't i mean is the fbi gonna come get i don't know but it's like written it's like inscribed on the bottom like the rules of what you have to do with the emmy like it's like the mattress yeah um which again i wish i had it so i could show you guys but that's yeah it says that on the bottom you jeff d lowe has one too right yes he uh yeah he he might have more than one oh yeah every single one of our employees from mlb network has one yeah yeah not to sully your no and and that's okay because i like i totally get that because i know like everybody i worked with there got one and again this is not to like put down

anyone else's emmy but it is it's still very cool oh it's it rocked but it's yeah yeah but it is yeah it's not like i i did an incredible amount of work to get it um but it is still very cool yeah nobody comes up to you and be like oh yeah so you got an emmy how how many other people you worked with right exactly it's like oh no that's cool yeah i'm pretty sure like um blattman no longer working here but he has like four or five and at least like pretty much as long as you've worked at mlb you got one because mlb tonight normally won like best studio show i think it's more impressive that you got an Emmy for not doing very much work.

That's actually very true. That's way cooler. Okay, yeah. I'm going to start telling people that. Yeah, I didn't really do much for it. Did you ever do anything with like the balk? The balk? It's like a pitching maneuver that's illegal. Oh, like a balk?

Yeah, did you ever do content about a balk? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Umpires get so fired up. Stepping off the mound. Waving everything off. No, no, no. Then they're like.

They get real amped for a balk. I love balks. Yeah. Especially when one forces a run. Like if you score on a balk, that's. Can you bet on balks? Probably. Is it like the spladle of baseball

it's rare but when it happens it kind of yeah okay it doesn't happen that often but yeah when it does it's exciting oh yeah for the other team yeah i probably made some videos about some box highlights probably had a balk in there oh i'd love a i'd love like a bach reel just a highlight reel a box two hours of box two hours yeah yeah yeah why do you love them so much i don't know um something about them like a rarity it's the perfect rarity yeah that's true yeah and it's such a weird rule so yeah that might be it i like the oddity of it you step one step and you're like nope get the fuck out of here well thanks all right well thanks for having me guys anyone else i can go i can go look around yeah see if there's anybody else don't worry about it if they if they wanted to show it off they would they would have had their shaved my ankles i'm very feeling very confident today

they're not as scary as they usually are. Good work. Thank you. How far up did we go? I'm right at the limit. Right there, I got to shift where I'm sitting because otherwise. All right, Daniel, what's your plan? You're going to the Bulls game? Yeah, Bulls game tonight, and I got my three brothers in town. Oh, nice. Oh, sweet.

They're all flying in now. We'll go to the Knicks game. Four brothers? Yeah. All in the same room? Did they bring any teeth? In their heads. Okay, go to the next game. Four brothers? Yeah. All in the same room. Did they bring any teeth? In their heads. Okay, sweet.

Okay, yeah. And then if all goes well, maybe I'll go to the Cubs game tomorrow. We'll see. Sweet. Oh, we have Lucas. We have Lucas. I guess he wants to show something. Oh, yeah.

Lucas, you're up. Is he showing off the pants? What? Oh, yeah, the pants. He said his pants were not the tightest ones today, so he's just... For today, I brought normal-sized pants, the only pair I own. That a boy. They look great.

What happened to the old ones? Oh! Sorry, I'm sorry. That's HR. They're still pretty tight. They are pretty tight. They're pretty tight, dude. I see your ball sack.

Yeah. Yeah, right there. All right, that was... I still have the tight pants. We saw both. You still have them? Clearly. I see your ball sack. Yeah, right there. All right. I still have the tight pants. We saw both. You still have those? Clearly. I still have them.

Can you stay here for a second? There's another show and tell. If you're out there, come on in. There was someone else who wanted to do it. Do you want me to grab them? Or do you want to just let them come in? Come on in. Is it Pharrell?

Happy 50th. Oh, 50th to Pharrellll do you know a lot of celebrity birthdays i always look yeah today it's pharrell and juicy who do you who do you share a birthday with as far as celebrities jerry sandusky wayne gretzky ellen generous oh it's murderers very very diverse group that's cool cool. What about you? I just know like Tony Kemp. That's about it. Tony Kemp?

It's weird. Who's that? He's a baseball player. Oh. I don't know. My birthday's Halloween, so if you know anyone else born on that day. I think. Ichabod Crane?

Could be Hitler. I don't know. All right. Who is it? I don't mean alright who is it I don't mean it was his bit I don't know it was his own thing should I get him or not yeah I think that might be the last one

if there's anybody else if you can hear if you're watching come on in otherwise who do you guys think has the strongest showing so far Chaps is I love his painting I'm still thinking about there's so much mystery around it and I honestly

the fact that he was wearing this shirt while presenting just really hello the coy boy himself afraid to frolic in on his own accord come on in yeah so i actually sit down no i i've got to go back out i actually found out about this super late um i didn't bring an item a lot of people had cool items but i did bring a person so i'm gonna go out there i'm gonna grab them

they're kind of nervous and then i'm gonna bring them all right thanks cody all right who could this be cody who is it i love a mystery person okay what are our guesses all right so here they are okay oh yeah i brought lucas's third date oh Oh, look at his third date. That crush, that kind of crush. Oh, because no one was there. Yeah. Got it, got it. Response?

I don't got one. I can't. I can't. We're in the works. We're trying to, we're trying to. I set a goal in myself by the end of the year, I need to have a third date or. By the end of the year?

Yeah. Did yesterday's episode. He is a chronic second date getter, non-third getter. I mean, the year has just started, I feel like. Three months in. It's hard to get to two in the first place. To get to a third. I guess.

I was thinking about it. I think it's more impressive that I've gotten past, that I keep getting first dates, getting past them. I think that's the hardest part. 100%. So you leave a good first impression and then your second impression. What are you doing the second time around? I don't know.

It's a mystery. Finger begging? No. Are you putting your fingers in her drink? No. Do you do that? that no not on dates yeah right that would be bad that'd be bad yesterday's episode didn't rustle up any leaves of love from oh yeah there was there was a chance the person i was talking about um that was here would have seen that but no nothing we're uh still still nothing on the table

all right well next year when we do this episode he's gonna bring somebody in yeah somebody at the door maybe probably not though yeah all right all right well thanks everybody yeah does anybody else i think that's it oh the wheel a lot of people added to the wheel you guys got any fun weekend plans? Anything good going on? I'm going to attempt to sleep because I haven't been able to. I don't know. I've been betting like I foresaw my untimely death, so I'll just do that.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Wait. Does that mean we have to do that? I can't do that on command. Conventionally, it would mean that. I think this is more of a bulk yak crew type event. We'll have you guys.

Spin it again. Everyone in here who works here will come back when we do the fart eliminator. I guess we have to do it next episode. Yeah. So, Rudy, Megan, Chaps. I will happily fart. We'll have to do it next episode yeah so rudy megan chaps i will happily fart we'll have to do it i'll do my part if you have one on you by all means yeah i guess you're okay danny had one ready to go cement your legacy i think i don't want i have one oh i haven't eaten today my pants are too high i have to pee what is that i have to pee so bad oh fart bubble you get a damn going

all right no that's amazing we'll do that next week big cat will be thrilled everyone will be thrilled i'll start brewing one now. Okay. You guys, you're exempt, but you want to do it again? Megan, you're not out of this. Yeah, Megan, you got to work on that. Do it on command. Let's pretend.

Bring a whoopee cushion. Did My Mom's Basement get any extra subscribers? No, they lost one. Good work, dude. I'm sure that'll mean a lot to Robbie. Oh, yeah. Awesome. Well, yeah. Thanks, thanks everybody for tuning in yeah for coming in and showing your stuff and thank you for the sporkles really that

that really has helped us tremendously thanks for having me on guys we appreciate it thank you alright peace bye Bye. Bye. have a good weekend, everyone. Shout out to everyone who thought I was pug. I wish. Happy weekend.

Thank you to Sam. Everybody go follow. What's your Insta? Shout out your social. Shout out your Twitter. Chicago Sam. Chicago Sam. Chicago Sam filled in for TJ.

Shout out to him. Go follow him Twitter. Chicago Sam. Chicago Sam. Chicago Sam filled in for TJ. Shout out to him. Go follow him on Twitter. I love you guys. Everybody fucking drink all the nooners. Drink all the pink Whitney. Actually, drink all the nooners. Drink all the nooners. Drink all the nooners.

Just nooners. And have a good weekend. Love you guys. Peace. Peace.