The Yak - Jerry Hitched a SIX-HOUR Ride Home from a Fan | The Yak 7-17-23

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

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He looks great. Yeah. Jerry, once again, on the forefront. Nick's on his way. I wanted Jerry to be here because Nick and Jerry have a – I want to hear all about the softball game. Yeah. Barone is back. Yes.

From South Africa. South Africa, yeah, exactly. I went on a – yeah, I went to South Africa. South Africa, yeah. I went to South Africa. I went on a safari. It was so awesome. It looked incredible. It was so awesome. You can tune in to Son of a Boy Dad podcast.

Signed an NDA. He's not allowed to talk about it on the app. Tanking the show. Yeah, on purpose. We've entered full fucking rivalry mode. Tank mode? Mutiny mode, yeah. Oh, Francis.

Yeah, he sparked a fire on Friday. Sparked a fire inside of me. What did Francis say on Friday? It was Thursday. He was like, spit. He spit some bars. What did he say? He said, do you think there'll be a rivalry between Chicago and New York?

And then basically said out loud all his own insecurities, being like, other people could think this. He was joking. People are saying. There was some truth in it. Yeah. I think he is right to an extent, but I think he was joking. Again, the comments section will make a rivalry, but the people who work here, which is all that matters, will not. Fuck a Chicago.

Ron, did you be honest with me? Uh. Do you think there were any animals you saw that I wouldn't be able to beat in a fight? Uh... Elephants look small. Yeah. Okay.

Rhinoceroses are kind of bitches. Nope. Nope. Rhinoceroses. What? The one had his horn shaved off. It barely had a horn. A haircut?

Yeah, it got a little haircut. Did you get high and go, or it was just a natural high? When I texted the group saying it was the best natural high I've ever felt, I was on four gin drinks and two edibles at that time. I was like, yeah. But it was a very, I felt like, what the fuck? In a way that I hadn't really felt like that before. There was no windshield, correct?

There was nothing. So what was, I mean, they do it all the time, but were you scared at all? The guys just were very calming. The guides were just fucking cool as shit and just like, you don't have to worry. It's completely fine They have guns?

Yeah the one guy had a big ass gun And they would do bushwalks When they wanted to find like a lion or something like that They would just like hop out and leave you in there And sometimes when the guys would go on a bushwalk It would just be like two guys with a big stick Like they would just go out with only a stick And they would just like if something attacked them They would just like crazy. And they just, like, if something attacked them,

they would just, like, bop it on the head. So they're pussies? No, they're braver. No, no, no. The animals are pussies. The animals are pussies. Oh, yeah, if you could bop them on the head. Dude, to get ready for this,

I watched this Meryl Streep movie called Out of Africa, and it's, like, about her being very vanguard, kind of traveling across Africa on her own. Lions attack her wildlife while she's out there, and she just fights them off with a whip. Meryl Streep. This is Meryl Streep fighting off lions. So how scared should I be if Streep can do it?

Yeah. So wait, what was the coolest thing? We watched lions feeding on a fucking— we watched nine cubs and four adult females feeding on a buffalo that they had just killed like the guys went into the bush and just found them and usually you don't see this at all on a on a safari and the fact that we saw it right after it happened so we went back to the same spot over like three days um and like we could still see them feeding on it like the females were feeding on it and the males came through like head on it the females had to scatter away what was that

was that filled with shit yeah they're eating his stomach i was like that was shit i mean it's his stomach i guess that's how it works no no condiments or anything yeah i was offering them a little bit of a pepper or like uh you a cayenne, something like that. I feel like if they tried pepper, I think it would change their life. They'd never go back to eating antelope regular. Never had salt. It was just me and my wife on the Jeep for the first two and a half days. Then on the third day, somebody else joined us on the Jeep.

You will never guess who it was. It's someone we know. Jason Derulo. It was World of T-shirts. What? It's a lion. They kicked him off because he hopped out. He tried to grab the lion by its tail.

He tried to yank the lion. I was fucking flabbergasted. Fuck that. T-shirts was out there just mixing it up. I know you did your research before you went and everything. Was there anything about South Africa that really surprised you? Some of the town names. Rodriguez. He said that they brought up Rodriguez.

They did talk about Sugar Man. Who? Sugar Man. The guy that I always talk about. Tell the story again. Famous in South Africa. No, I'm not. I've told the story.

Oh, with the Psalms. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said they brought him up. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, they were playing him. Cape Town was beautiful. Yeah.

Went to Cape Town. It was like a shockingly beautiful town. It was just like, it was so exciting that like, I felt like Riggs leaving Pinehurst when I had to go. I like wept. It was like fucking incredible. How long was the flight back? 30 hours?

It was 30 hours of door-to-door travel on the last day. Oh my God. What'd you do? Where'd you go from? It was like a short flight, like an hour flight on like a rickety little plane from our hotel to Johannesburg. Johannesburg was a seven hour layover.

Then we got on like a 15 hour flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta and then a layover in Atlanta and then flying back from Atlanta to New York. You were in Atlanta yesterday? Yeah. What time? All day. When? When did you take off?

Because I was in Atlanta yesterday too. What, were you on the same flight? You might have day. When? When did you take off? Because I was in Atlanta yesterday, too. What, were you on the same flight? You might have been. When was your flight? Did you get delayed heavy? No, no delays. You got delayed. They were doing like no one was allowed to land in New York.

Probably like 9 in the morning my flight was or something like that. Really? Yeah. I got to Atlanta at like 9.30. Yeah, maybe we were on the same flight. We could have seen each other. How was Huntsville? That was fine. Shows were all fun. Did they maybe we were on the same flight. We could have seen each other. How was Huntsville? That was fine.

Shows were all fun. Did they sell more tickets? Oh, no. Oh. Oh, but they, like when they're, when you don't sell any. They filled it, yeah. They fill it up, yeah.

So it's fine. But it's just like, it was just like me performing for like 50-year-old Alabama people. Say anything bad about Saban? No, God no. Like a death sentence out there? Very bad.

It was very interesting the people there are crazy it's just so much different I'd never been somewhere like that before to the south you kind of actually

had more of a cultural experience than Rome oh big time yeah I was like it was all American tourists shut the fuck up real quick

you asked me about you asked me about Huntsville you asked me about Huntsville I You asked me about Huntsville. I know, I know. Everyone's going to be like, of course, we weren't here about Huntsville when Rowan just got back from a safari in Africa. No, they tame to me. Who's he going to talk about Huntsville? No one gives a shit about that.

I do. Not me. I do. Behind me. It's in the past. What is in Huntsville? We do. We're just recapping the whole entire day.

You may as well not even listen to the episode tomorrow. What are you talking about? You talked about none of the same. You hot as hell this morning. You already mad at him because he didn't appreciate your gift. You got him to appreciate my gift. You got up early? Is it because you got up early?

You were here like, I saw you at like 930 in the morning. I've been here all fucking day. Yeah, so you're a little ornery. Working my ass off. He was hot. He was going to keep the lights on. He was sitting morning here at the office. I've been here all fucking day. Yeah, so you're a little ornery. Working my ass off. It was hot. He was gonna keep the lights on before. He was sitting at his couch

fucking pissed. You wanted a better souvenir from South Africa. I will say the heat, no, I didn't get a souvenir. Because you've never respected any of my gifts. I always bring you a gift

and you fucking throw it in the trash. You would have came back from South Africa and got me like a LaGuardia sweatshirt. Yeah? So? LaGuardia is a proud back from South Africa and got me like a LaGuardia sweatshirt. Yeah? So?

LaGuardia is a proud tribe of South Africa. LaGuardia is the nicest airport in America now. It is, by far. Delta Terminal? That's not even bullshit at all. Atlanta might be the worst airport. It's bad. It's up there.

It's top three for sure. It's LAX, JFK, and Atlanta. Monorail. Fucking train. Yeah. Those are the worst. Although Detroit's is pretty nice because it's all inside the airport, the monorail. What do you mean?

Detroit has a monorail, but it's like you never leave the airport. That's the same thing with Atlanta. Yeah, it's just so big. It's so big. Yeah, so big. Pittsburgh's got a nice-ass airport. How was that? Oh, no.

Oh, no? Jerry, why didn't you just fucking wait until today instead of driving home with a street? Oh, you'd already been in Pittsburgh for five days. Why didn't you just rent a car? A four-and-a-half-inning softball game. I don't really like driving by myself. Oh, okay. It's a long drive.

It's like six hours. What about the trains? Are there trains? Or is that a long drive? That didn't even come to my mind. I just know a kid that's always down for whatever. Yeah. It was like the trains. They're trains? Or is that like that's a long... That didn't even come to my mind. I just know a kid that's like always down for whatever. Yeah. It was like no hesitation. Like yeah I got

you. Two in the morning I'll pick you up. How long was the drive? Six hours. And then he just turned around and went right back. Went right back and he got back home at about like four in the afternoon I think. You didn't offer him like a quick snap on your couch? No I mean I didn't. No I paid him. How much did you your couch? No, I mean, I didn't. No, I paid him.

How much did you pay him? Can I ask? Enough. How much? Fair enough. I know Jerry's not tight with the money. He's not tight. A good amount.

12 hours, a thousand bucks? I would have gave him a little less. 500? 500? Four figs. You would have gave me? Yeah. A thousand?

You would have gave a thousand? Six hours. I mean, he's driving 12 hours. Not a thousand. More than that. I would have given him 500 to a thousand. What would you KB? Yeah. 1,000, you would have gave 1,000? Six hours. I mean, he's driving 12 hours. Yeah, I would have given him 500 to 1,000. What would you give him? 150? No, I'm kidding. That's more than enough.

Yeah. That's a lot. He's the type of kid that's always down. I could be like, yo, Justin. What the fuck? No. I could be like, yo, Justin. How much?

Can you do me a favor? And he's like, I got you. He'll drop everything. He actually didn't go to his sister he's like, I got you. He'll drop everything. He actually didn't go to his sister's wedding. No. Jerry. Wait, what?

Drive you home? This is not commendable anymore. Who was it, Jenks? His sister's wedding because he wanted to go. He's a diehard Steelers fan. He's like a big autograph guy. And he didn't go to the wedding because I told him I could hook you up with Kenny autographs and stuff like that. He did? Yeah. He got some signed stuff.

It's like Ty Lue. Remember Ty Lue? I've missed seven funerals in my family. This year alone. That's not a brag. You're an asshole. This guy should have gone to his sister's wedding, to be honest. Yeah, he's in a doghouse right now. I would assume so. He skipped his sister's wedding, to be honest. Yeah, he's in a doghouse right now.

I would assume so. He skipped his sister's wedding to go to an autograph signing? Sister's wedding. Well, not really an autograph signing, but like the softball game. He knew he'd be able to get close. His sister's wedding was Saturday? Yes. Oh, Jerry.

He did it for a softball game? He skipped it for that softball game you played? And then I would assume he also skipped the brunch the next day because he was driving you to Jersey. Yeah, he was. Oh, my God. He's a bad guy. Oh, he's...

Depends on how you spin it. He's down for everything for Jerry. No, he's not down to go to his blood's wedding. For Jerry, he's down for everything. Was he anxious about that? Did he mention it all? He's like, boy, I wish my family was going to be pissed. No, no.

He didn't even. Let's see if I got a text from him, what he said about the sister. Or maybe he could call her. I mean, I kind of like it. Whatever makes you happy, right? Sister's wedding probably was tough. But sometimes you have to do things that don't make you happy. All right, so here we go.

Here's one of the texts. Like, were you doing the yak right now? Hell no, I love the yak. Talking about South Africa. Look at this text. At 9.27, he says, Hey, Jer, I just thought I should have asked during our six-hour ride, LOL. Do you think Kenny would do, like, a 10-second wedding congrats to my sister?

Just thought it would be an easy way to get out of the doghouse for missing it. Yeah. Well now, Kenny pretty much has to do that. Has to? Did you ask Kenny? I didn't ask yet. Oh, come on, Jerry. I mean, I don't like to like

abuse that relationship. You get like one text every now and then. I know, I just... This guy though. Kenny would do it. Kenny would do it. Yeah, if you explain the whole scenario be like, hey, this guy, I was in a jam. He drove me 16 hours or whatever.

So Kenny actually texted me yesterday and he's like, hey Jerry, I'm just curious. He's like, because I was the one who introduced him to Kenny to get the autograph and stuff. He's like, was he driving you prior for the favor you asked of the autographs? I was like, no, I promise he wasn't. It was just.

You did the favor and then you asked for a favor. I did the favor and then my flight got canceled hours later. Yeah. So he owed you one and you called it in right away. You got to get this. You got to get the shout out. Yeah. Yeah. I'll ask.

I'll ask. Maybe you show him this conversation. You don't have to ask. You've got to get the shout-out. Yeah, I'll ask. I'll ask. Maybe you show him this conversation. You don't have to ask. I would be big, too. That'd be big, too. That's crazy. Skip the sister's wedding for a softball game. He's got to be a spot from somewhere, right?

Yeah, I mean, he went from a 0% chance to work at Barstool to at least a 2% chance. Yeah. By driving, Jerry. It's got to be a spot. Well, how demanding is he? Not really. Is he a good driver?

Great driver. What if he just becomes a Barstool driver? Great driver. That could play. He's moving me to Chicago. Yeah, we could use that. You have a slave is what you have. No, I don't.

He's moving you to Chicago? I know have. He's moving you to Chicago? I know. Why is he moving you to Chicago? What? Well, I can't say it, right? You could say. It's expensive. Right.

And he's doing it for a lot cheaper. He's doing it for the amount that we're getting reimbursed for. So wait, he's going to drive back from Pittsburgh to your house out here with a U-Haul? No, so I'm flying him from Pittsburgh to New Jersey. He's getting the car, the truck,

the truck, yes. And we're going to load it together and he's going to drive that U-Haul and I'm going to drive my car. So it's late. You got a guy. That's great. It's a butler. It's a butler. You're paying him.

You feed him? Chauffeur? No, I mean, I didn't feed him, no. I can't believe you didn't offer him a nap. Quick nap. What was the conversation when you guys pulled up to that? Yeah, when you dropped him off, how quickly did you get up? So I established a no nap beforehand.

You did? That night. Wow. So he's like, hey, Jerry, can I maybe get a nap when I get back? Dying. He was like, man, I'm fucking tired. He straight up asked me before the ride. He said, Jerry, he's like, I'm going to drive you through the night.

We're going to get back to Jersey. Would you mind if I slept at your house on Sunday and then I leave to go the next day home? I said, well, Justin, I have a kid and I don't have any more room in my house. You should have given him the couch for a little nap. Get him a Howard Johnson. I live with my mom in the basement. I don't have a couch. He let him crash in the car.

Can he sleep in the car? Can he sleep in your driveway? Can he sleep in your driveway? I don't even have a driveway. Can he lay down in your backyard? Yeah. He didn't nap. What a beast.

So when you guys pulled up, how quick of that transaction was it? You were just like, I'd see him. Was it like getting out of an Uber? One minute. Oh. Not even like, hey, can get you like a cup of coffee you're not a bad guy the guy will just do anything for you he's a great kid yeah oh well you keep on saying kid how old is he i don't know 45 looks like in mid-20s right i don't know i've never seen it's a picture tj could pull it up i think he's mid-20s you right? I don't know. I've never seen him. There's a picture. TJ could pull it up.

I think he's mid-20s. You think that he had a suit for the wedding? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not sure. When did you invite him to the softball game? Oh, I didn't invite him.

He cooks. He does all the tailgate food. Okay. Wait. So he missed his sister's wedding for the tailgate. He's like... Yeah, but he also said that he was going to get some autographs. He's a good looking guy.

If I could help him get some autographs. Shout out Justin. He was hired to cook? Yeah. I'm sure that they made a video or pictures from his sister's wedding. He can just relive it that way. Also, I feel like a hardcore Steelers family, if they're all in on it too, it would be like, we understand.

Like, that's a Steelers family. Steelers come above family. Yeah, they get that. I mean, this kid will do anything for an autograph, though. Anything. He's crazy. He likes to collect them or sell them. I think he's actually in the business,

but he collects, like, he saves, like, his favorite players. Yeah. Damn. That was nice of you to get him into that mix. Yeah, of course. Get the favorite. Introduce him to Kenny and shit. Yeah.

I feel like you owe him a favor now. Yeah, at least, like, tell him Big Cat's kids' names. See how much Dave made? Shit like that. Did you guys talk the whole way, or was there comfortable silence? How long did you sleep? The tweet where you said you slept and he kept talking was hilarious. So when we first got in the car, within 30 minutes I passed out,

and that's when he said the 15-minute thing. Then, hours later, I was like, would I sleep for an hour? He was like, a lot more than that. I don't know the exact time. You were just snoozing along. I could ask him how long I slept. Ask him up. I've never seen a mental bully like this.

He said I fell asleep for 15 minutes during hour three, and he kept talking because we were having a good conversation. Okay. I did. You didn't need to send that text. Why? We need to get Justin this video. You sent it to Kenny?

I just sent it to Kenny with Jerry saying, Kenny, Jerry has a favor he has to ask. Oh, yeah, that's much needed. We need to get him the video. It won't burn a bridge. Jerry, I'll ask for the video. You want me to ask for the video? This kid needs the video.

He does need the video. He needs the video for his family. I know. For his sister. I know, but Kenny did a lot of favors for me this weekend. What else did he do besides sign something? He invited me exclusive access in a practice facility, watching him throw the ball around to some Steelers players and stuff.

How'd they look? Good. Really good. Ickins might be their year. Ickins wasn't there, no, but Pat was there. That was cool. Ooth. Ooth gave Nick a little.

Was Mooth playing first base? Was Friar Mooth playing first base? Yes, he was. He was, yeah. And when Nick got his hit, I saw him kind of, they had a pretty clean dap between them. Yeah, Nick's on his way. He just landed.

Nick had a lot of fun. I'm happy he came. Yeah. Happy he came. Nick's a fun guy. Oh, fun guy. Dad is amazing. Then there's this other, like. Straight, too, you know. Yeah, I'm sure you know the kid, Maresh. Dad's straight. Oh, yeah guy. Dad is amazing. Then there's this other, like...

Straight, too, you know. Yeah, I'm sure you know the kid, Maresh. Oh, yeah. Maresh is great. Yeah, Maresh is... Oh, yeah, everyone. Maresh is the man. I love that.

You do know Nick's dad's straight. Straight? Yeah, he's straight. Extremely. He's not gay. Yeah, I know. His wife was there. Yeah, no, I know.

He's straight. Woman, wife. How... Like, you can't be straighter than that. Is he gay? That's got to be an inside joke, right? Yeah. Look at Nick.

It's a big hit from Nick. He went up and got it. Bang. Right over him. Look at that spot. He probably shouldn't have worn white leggings because it really accentuated. It did the opposite. It's long.

Got like a Wallace environment. There you go. Yeah. Hell of a run. Good. So I heard you were, though, like the best player. What was your stat line? Two for two.

You only got two at-bats? Yeah, four and a half. It's a four and a half inning game. Someone tweeted me, they're like, final after four. I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, that sucks. I didn't even know that. I heard, Jerry, you were on the on-deck circle when the game ended.

Yes. You flipped out. I did. Adam Rank, I think he's NFL Network or something like that. He just had a lazy hit that just didn't go anywhere. Whatever. Our team was bad. We just had...

It's all girls on our team. You and Nick, girls and Adam Rank? Yeah. Next year, I'm going to play. I ought to play next year. I think I'm going to play on the... You've got to play in some leagues. I know.

That would be cool. I'm going to play on the good team to play next year. I think I'm going to play on the – You've got to play in some leagues. I know. That would be cool. I'm going to play on the good team. Berg? Yeah. No. Why not? Oh, bro. We need help.

We need help. Join the super team. Yeah, who cares? You're not trying to pick them up out of the doldrums. You can't do that, dude. Make a super team. Yeah. You can't do that.

Teammates with Kenny. Me and Sass are going to – we're starting a softball team here in New York. You guys going to do the same thing out in Chi-Town? That'd be cool. We had one for a while here. It's fun. Yeah? What happened to it?

I can't remember. We played like two seasons. Yeah, we were not terrible. Smitty, PFTFT Billy played And some of the I think it was Coed Ours is gonna be guys only I would need like six at bats minimum

Yeah Feel fulfilled It should honestly just be like a home run derby Yeah It should just be like only really hitting bombs the whole time T-ball Just start a T-ball league is what we should do Yeah we should

16 inch Yeah Yeah T-ball 16 inch T-ball. Just start a T-ball league is what we should do. Yeah, we should. 16-inch. T-ball. 16-inch T-ball. Unlimited. You can't strike out. That'd be so sick. Make it out. First team to 100 wins. Yeah. It's the dream.

It's whoever bats first wins. You hit dingers, KP? Oh, no. I haven't swung a bat in a decade. That's not true. That's not true. I don't have no range. You went to the cages together in Chicago. No, I don't hit dingers.

Besides that 120-foot field in Paris, PA. We got five action shots hanging on the wall. Damn. Smashed it. Action shots? Are they fading? Action images was there. They were taking pics of me rounding the bases.

It was the shortest field in the world. I think it has to be. It has to be. Phil, though, that's nice. A homer's a homer. Like, who gives a fuck? That's what I thought. It was the best feeling of my life.

Yeah. I would kill to get out on the diamond right now. Yeah. I'd kill to get out on the golf course right now. Jerry's stuck in a cage right now Fuck You gotta get out there I get in trouble

Who? Really? This guy Can't get a nice track? You guys have to have a sit down? I thought I pointed out that Jerry leaving at 7am on Wednesday

For a Saturday night softball game might have been a little, a little much. He's not going training for the Olympics. For a four and a half inning softball game. What was the counterpoint, Jerry? Was it a... I got some videos coming out, a couple of Jerry edits on the golf course, made some more connections, Steelers PR team.

That's huge. Didn't get us Tomlin. I'm in the process right now. Okay, okay. Looks promising. I like that. You just had like a random fort, like you were like, I need a couple more people, and people just showed up and played with you?

Yeah, so this one guy, Kenny's friend, looked at our roster, and I'm like, people were backing out. Yeah. So Kenneth Walker from the Seahawks backed out, and Matthew Judon from the Patriots backed out like last minute. So I just was like, I texted Kenny's friend. I'm like, yo, you got to play.

He played. He had a home run. That's huge. That's a good pickup. Yeah, and he was in the home run. Why were Kenneth Walker and Judon going to be in it? Kenneth Walker went to Michigan State. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know the connection there, but this is the second year Judon backed out. Big Cat just dropped somebody's lunch. Just scrambled somebody's fucking tacos. That was Rico's lunch? I got to start dropping lunch. Yo, dropping lunch. Dropping lunch. The savage move.

Straight up dropped his lunch. I don't know where these Red Bulls are. I hope it wasn't a lunch that could really get shaken up. Tacos probably would be a worst case scenario. Yeah, a drop taco. A drop taco. Especially when you order tacos. They already come. They're scrambled.

It's hard. You got to read, align them. I know. You might as well just get a fajita and do it yourself. Piece it together yourself. What was the food in South Africa? It was pretty fire. Really?

Extremely. But I was eating weird shit. Yeah, the Applebee's. Wasn't it like an Applebee's? But they had like bow meat. They had Warthog. I didn't try the Warthog. Warthog? Yeah. They try the Warthog. Warthog?

Yeah. They had the whole Lion King, basically. Seriously? Dude, it made me realize that elephants get such a bad rap in literature and pop culture. Like, people think elephants are little bitches that are, like, scared of fucking mice. Dumbo. Dumbo, yeah. Yeah, like, they're, like, frightful and they, like, tiptoe around.

No, they're not like that. I asked the guys what the most intelligent animals were. One dude said monkeys and the other guy said elephants. Elephant never forgets. Elephants are just like us. They never forget. Ambino taught me that. Huh?

Ambino had a bar like elephants never forget. Something about his dick. He was always talking about his dick. He was. You think there's any elephants that know about 9-11? Yeah. They would never forget it. They would never forget it.

Central Park Zoo. They'd just keep it. They'd just be... They must know, yeah. Thinking about it all the time. I know. Poor guys. Honestly, they probably wish that they could, for one minute, stop.

That's why they're so morose. Yeah. They're so sad all the time because they're always thinking about the fucking... War on terror. Yeah, we should have kept the elephants. Should have never let them know. Baby, what are you

snacking on? Cherry. What the fuck? So good. They're so addicting. Cherries are addicting. Hits are stopping them from putting up

Dua Lipa numbers. Gotta get the D-Pitter. What is that? It's like a little machine that you put like five cherries in. Cherry's a D-Pitter. Jerry, would Justin D-Pit for you?

Is that a plum? I would love a plum. It's an apricot plum hybrid. It tastes just like a plum. This is what you're doing now? This is the way that you're eating now? You're eating fruits out of tins right now? Fruit influencer.

What the fuck? There are fruit influencers. I know one named Kane Kerner. He's the man from Philly. I used to work with him. He's always talking real smoothly. He does live streams all the time. I watch him eat fruit. I don't know him personally. He gets his fruit from Miami Fruit.

You could tell he's from Philly because of his accent. Yeah, he got a gnarly Philly accent. He's the man though. Oh, that pumped me up. Yeah, he's a great fruit guy. I work with him at Uji Uji. He reminds me of you.

He kind of has the same swagger as you. He was my young bull. He's the fucking man. He makes music too, right? Yes, exactly. Shout out to him. Ain't Kerner is a fruit enforcement. And all he does,

he'll cut open Like a Passion fruit Or like a durian Or something Exotic fruits Oh no Oh no

Drop lunch Head ass Does he know You think he knows Drop lunch Smirking Everybody out there knows You gotta have somebody

Watch him Sass go Go spy on Rico Ask him what he got Ask him what he got For lunch Sass Just walk past him And ask

Why Just ask him Come, Sass. Just walk past him and ask. Why? Just ask him. Come on, Sass. Just ask him. Thin-ass toilet paper. Sass, you got a takeoff this weekend. What'd you say?

Maybe the wildest take ever. What did my brother say? Oh, the Steph Curry thing? Yeah. What'd you say? I mean, he's a phenomenal golfer. Zah, Zah. He's a great golfer. He saw Steph Curry golf because Steph Curry hit a hole in one.

He won that whole tournament. Oh, yeah, I saw that. That's insane. And Zah was like, I saw him at a Barstool Classic. The devil. Yeah, Zah was like, as good as he is at basketball, he's better at golfing. He's a top ten basketball player of all time. I mean, I was trying to piss people off.

I mean, he put on a master class that day at Half Moon Bay. God, that's so unfair. That's insane. And he got an eagle. What, he got an eagle to win? Yeah. He had a hole-in-one and an eagle to win? I wonder if he's any good at javelin.

He's definitely good at anything that you use your hands for. Anything. Not rowing, though. I bet you he's really good at anything that you use your hands for Anything Not rowing though I bet you he's really good at rowing He's definitely Rowing takes the least athleticism He's also not short Even though everyone thinks he's short Yeah, he looks like he's like a 6'3", 6'3", 6'4", yeah

Big boy That's perfect rowing size, honestly Yeah, that is 6'4", in like an incredible an incredible cardio shape with good hands. Strong hands. He's probably a world-class rower. Oh, boy. His clitoral stimulation is probably out of this world.

Absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind. But if he – didn't Tony Romo want to be a pro golfer? Yeah, he's got back injuries and stuff, though. Like, when he retired, it wasn't, like, the word that he's going to try and, like, be a pro. He got nowhere close to being. So the difference is so, like, I think Steph Curry won this tournament

three days. I think he was, like, right around even par. Everyone else, if you had a pro golfer play, they'd be, like, minus 20. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Was Michael Jordan really good at baseball, was that just like, he's Michael Jordan so we'll let him for the numbers? He was

not that good at baseball. He got better. Was that like a give me? That they just let him play? Kind of, because Reinsdorf owns the White Sox so he played for and the Bulls. But he was not that good. I think also the NBA just made sure he retired. But he could also get hits though.

He was getting better. He, like... Was he playing single A or what? Double A. If you can get hits in double A, then you're good, right? Yeah, double A is like... Birmingham, which is not too far from Huntsville, I believe. Tell us about it.

I think Birmingham's a little further south, right? Yeah, how many... What was the demographic at your show? Regalus. 50-year-old... I mean, it depends on the show. The late shows, it was sometimes younger people. Yeah. The early shows

were like a more old... Any stoolies? Yeah, a couple. Nice. Any old stoolies? No, I don't think so. They were fun, though. The shows were all really fun. Except there was one that wasn't great,

but all the other ones were really fun. Oh, that sounds really fun. It was a good time. It was good to slay the stage once again. Are you going this weekend? Atlanta. Wait, you're going back to Atlanta. I am, yeah.

What's your internal dialogue like after you do really good on stage? Or a monologue, I guess. Not really much. Like, man, I crushed that. I was just about to say, oh, that was really fun. Was Mook there? Mook was there. I saw that video he posted where he looked like...

Super white. He wasn't even there. I was crying laughing at that. Yeah. So bad. I took that video. posted where he looked like- Super white. He wasn't even there. I was crying laughing at that. Yeah. So bad. I took that video. Oh. It's hilarious.

I don't know if TJ can find it, but it was- All you could see is his hair. It was- He's glowing. His face is a flashlight. Yeah. I was like, that must just be the lighting. Then he took a picture of me like that, and you could see my whole face.

Look at this. He doesn't exist. He's like a Jabberwocky. His hair looks so red. His hair looks so much redder than it normally is. Yeah, that picture is nuts.

People are so comfortable being so mean to him. He just takes it. I know. He is like the meanest you can be to someone right now. People are mean to him.

Oh, yeah. People feel comfortable talking mean to him. Oh, yeah. People feel comfortable talking shit to him. That's what I'm saying. Even at the club, people will be hanging out with the staff, and the staff will be fucking around with him. He's so good-natured. Nothing but kindness. Yeah, it's very odd.

He's a good dude. I mean, it's... It's the last thing you can make fun of, honestly. Yeah. I got fucking hammered in the Atlanta airport. You sent out a very funny tweet. I was sending out some crazy ones, dude. That was hilarious.

You were in your bag? Dude, I was in the worst mood ever. Because my flight kept on getting delayed going to Atlanta. And I was in the airport at like 8 a.m. until we took off at like fucking noon. Oh my God. And our travel day delay. OK.

That was before the three hour flight and then another flight. Were you up for like 16 hours. Why are you guys acting like a four hour delay is not annoying. I would annoy anyone. That wasn't it. That was a bloody balls show. Yeah I know. OK.

And then and then I had an hour. Spicy one today. Yeah. Sass is. I don't know why you guys And then I had an hour. You had a spicy one today. Yeah, sass is fucking. I don't know why you guys are acting like that. That sucks. Four hour delay is terrible. And then I had an hour and a half layover in the Atlanta airport and I had two beers. And you got shit faced from that?

Hammered. Oh, because you haven't been drinking. I haven't been drinking as much and also I hadn't eaten anything. I got some wings and I got two beers. That's a great feeling to be like- Actually drunk again? Anti-stomach, three-beer drunk. I was on top of the world.

It felt amazing. Two Millers. Ice cold. Holy fuck. What, 11 bucks each? Maybe the coldest. Oh, yeah, like 15. They were big boys, too. Why is it that airport prices 11 bucks each? Maybe the coldest. Oh, yeah. Like 15. They were big boys, too.

Why is it that airport prices can do that? I don't know. Dude, I think they were actually upwards of, they were almost like $20 a beer. Yeah, it's crazy. Insane. There's no competition. Yeah. Even though candy and stuff is like, you get a candy bar, it's like $2.50.

It's normal price. No, it's not. You don't think? Like those general stores and oh i think everything is jacked up yeah it's crazy but yeah that was the highlight of the trip for sure working in an airport bar must be a crazy gig too yeah seeing loved it i'm gonna check in before your strangers will open up to you yeah and probably in a way that they normally wouldn't. You told a story on Kirk's podcast today. Jerry and I and Kirk had dinner at the Raleigh Airport, which is a terrible airport.

Yeah, that airport sucks. And there was a dude playing music at the restaurant, and that's his life. He was rocking out. Dude, Nashville? He was killing it. They got a guitarist at baggage claim in Nashville. Nashville, yeah, that's a little much. Nashville can get a little annoying with that shit.

You've got to accept that you're not going to make it big as a country star if you're playing in Terminal 3. Checking into the hotel and there's a dude playing the hits at 7 a.m. in the hotel lobby. No one wants to hear this right now. What are they playing in Raleigh? He was doing everything. He had a catalog that you wouldn't believe. Really? Yeah. That's kind of fun. Yeah.

You guys dance? You guys groove at all? I would if we had room. Tipped heavy. Tipped real heavy. Really? Well, the waitress wanted to fuck Jerry. Oh, Jerry. You tipped her? Yeah, I tipped the waitress. I always tip. Yeah, I tipped the waitress. Of course. Tipper good? Tipper righteous?

50 bucks, maybe. 50 bucks? Dude, I heard the Raleigh dorm area has lavender fields. Hmm. What? What do they have there? Every time I go back and I go like once a year, there's more shit. In Raleigh? Yeah. I heard it's one of the best smelling areas in the United States.

They have Muslims and shit. Really? Yeah. In Raleigh? Super diverse. Is New York the most diverse place in the world? New York City? Maybe.

So, has to be, right? Queens? Jerusalem has Israelis and Palestinians out there. Paris probably is up there now. With all the freaking immigrants coming in there. Freaking unbelievable. I heard Paris is in there. Maybe Miami?

No. What are you talking about? Why did you say no definitively? Why? Because they have, like, Mexican people? I think they're Cubans. Cubans. Yeah.

But it does feel like a big melting pot in Miami. I mean. Oh! No way! No! Wow! I was fucking with you. In your fucking face, Sass!

I can't choke around anymore. Damn! Obviously, I knew it was going to happen. I'm going to fucking crush you on that. Wow. Oh, my God. I've never been to Miami. What a pull.

That was talking out of my ass. That was instant, too. What, is it Mexicans? Yeah, that was embarrassing. Spicy Sass today, dude. That was embarrassing. I like it, though. You're allowed to be.

I welcome your spice. Please don't stop being spicy just because you got proven brutally wrong right there. That was a tough one. Toronto is. Toronto, I think it's true on that. Take a step back. If you've been to Toronto, it's very diverse. Toronto is very diverse, yeah.

It's like half Somali, half German folks. Yeah. Like a Korean. Yeah, New York's not even top five, brother. Damn, that's crazy. San Jose. Yeah. Like a Korean. Yeah, New York's not even top five, brother. Damn, that's crazy. San Jose? Yeah. What is they going off of?

I think maybe New York has like the most different people or the most. Yeah. Like the widest range. Most different ethnicity. I don't know. Foreign born. Oh. See, we're talking about different countries.

Like, you're right, KB. Like, maybe New York has the most people from different countries. They just said most foreign-born. Foreign-born could be like 99% of these people are from Spain. That's true. We're saying the widest. Yeah. Let's ask ChatGPT.

We were wrong. I'm willing to admit that I was wrong. No, not we. No, we were all wrong. No, no, no. Because we fucked up. We had to admit the big was wrong. No, we were all wrong. No, no, no. We fucked up. We gotta admit the big cat was right here. Yes.

Nicky. Oh, there he is. You see that? He just gave the fucking rock wave to Ebony. Really? Walking in the point. Nicky. Nicholas.

Do the high noon ad and we'll reset with Nick. Welcome back. High noon. He'll reset with Nick. Welcome back. High Noon. He's coming in hot. If you're a tequila lover who is never satisfied with malt-hard seltzer offerings, and I know Nick is one of those guys, you're going to love new High Noon Tequila Seltzer, a premium hard seltzer. It's got a clean finish because it's made with real blanco tequila and real juice.

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Visit HighNoonsBeers.com. Find some High Noon near you. Nick, welcome back, brother. Welcome back to you, man. No, no, no. Welcome back to you, brother. Look at us, South Africa and Pittsburgh. We've seen it all.

We've seen the world. Oh, my God. What's good, brother? How was the flight? Jerry, you getting made fun of for being too charitable and going early? You wanted to put on a show. Yeah, I know. What's good, brother? How was the flight? Jerry, you getting made fun of for being too charitable when going early? You wanted to put on a show. Yeah, I know. What the fuck?

Why didn't you get a ride back with Jerry? Are you crazy? Plot thickened with the guy he got a ride back from. What? Who could have guessed? Skipped his sister's wedding. Skipped his sister's wedding. And Jerry didn't let him take a nap.

I didn't. But that was discussed before the ride. Yeah. Okay, okay. Nick, how was it? It was a lot of fun. You crushed it? You're hit?

I gotta work. I don't run like that, man. No, no. I think it was the socks. It was the leggings. Leggings. Okay, it was the hands. We're talking about the hands. It was one heavy hand.

And I was so fucking embarrassed when I saw that. I don't run like that. You were. You texted about it multiple times. We don't need to do this. That's just good. Good stance. Great hit.

Went and get it. Great contact. Right where you need it to be. And then just the arms. I don't know. I think I might as well have, the funniest comment I saw. Naruto run. The one person said it looked like every gymnast running to hit a vault.

Yeah, totally dying. That's exactly how they're running. Dude, I wore the leggings to somehow camouflage that my legs are skinny. And they just are baggy. It accentuated it. They made it to. It was very stark. The white.

Yeah. You look like you have the longest legs in the world. I don't want to show the players on my favorite team that I have a swastika tattooed on. Yeah, that too. Yeah. Good point. Are you boys with all the guys now? Fella, you mean that dap up with Friar Muth?

Clean. Yeah, yeah. And he whispered in my ear, he was like, you know I could have leveled you there. Oh. Shit. That's boys being boys though. I'm boys with most of them nice yeah and your your parents when we told jerry he was confused but he said he met your dad and he did really good guy and we explained to him that he is straight yeah my dad's straight so it was i'm glad you met him yeah i'm confused now why what could be

clearly he's straight. His wife was there. Yeah, exactly. Right. Woman, wife. So what's the confusing part? He's straight. They didn't sit by each other.

I didn't think he was gay at all. He didn't act gay. Why would he? Exactly. They're my fucking mom. Yeah, exactly. Obviously he's not gay. Fuck.

What did I miss? That's known. That's known. Roan, did they plant those dead corpses for the beasts to eat? Yeah, the guy would just throw one out ahead of us and everything would swarm. It was fucking, we were close to them. We were very close to the animals. It felt like you hit a jackpot.

Not all safaris can be like that. I'm sorry, I'm talking to you. I'm excited to see you guys. I'm excited to see you guys. I'm excited to see you, brother. No, ask any questions that you want. Don't ask too many. Yeah, Sass is ornery today. We did do it on Son of a Boy Dad, and we don't want to.

Well, we're trying to tank the yak. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, we're coming up with a plan. I think that's... I can't wait for me and Ron to have full control over this show for like three weeks. That's actually what we've been doing since the inception of the act. That's what Scorpion's all about. What about the six months that Ron and I watched Jerry Springer every year?

We tried to do 600-pound life, and that's where we drew the line. We were like, wait, we can't actually make fun of this. We were just watching movies. Yeah. On a radio show. People were just watching movies. Yeah, that's, yeah. On a radio show. People somehow, like, really liked that. It wasn't a product of us being good, though. It was a product of there being nothing.

Yeah. Nothing. We did a Cuomo presser every day. Nipple report. Cuomo's nipples were crazy at that time. Oh, we figured out you're a cat pervert, by the way. How's that? Did you see the cat pervert video that time. Oh, we figured out you're a cat pervert, by the way. How's that? Did you see the cat pervert video?

No. Oh, yeah, yeah. Somebody who lets another cat into their house? Yeah. I mean, you're complicit. You're like my cat bull. Oh, no, I called myself a cat pervert. Yeah.

100% a cat pervert. The guy who comes over to fuck the cat at my house. Yeah, and you can't say you're a cat groomer, because that's a whole different thing. Yeah, you're like Ghislaine Maxwell to the... It's Jeffrey Epstein, yeah. You find the cat, you bring the cat in. Bring him in, leaves out a little bit to milk.

I want you to meet this wealthy friend of mine. I want you to meet my buddy Roan. Titties aren't as nice, though. He comes swarming. I actually have better titties than Ghislaine. Ghislaine has fucking milkers. Really? Yeah, mommy milkers. Two big mommy milkersers Whoever her jail wife is

Is probably suckling on those hard Is she alive still? She's in a low security prison She's at like summer camp right now We have new Alex Murdoch topless photos from prison Just came out And he has no nipples What?

Very common in prison It's his full chest Nipple removal surgery Take it away right now I said all your possessions What? There's a photo where he- Very common in prison. It's his full chest. Nipple removal surgery. Take it away, right? I said all your possessions. I want to see these. A bunch of photos that you- Oh, shit.

Oh, nipple-less. He doesn't have nipples. Nipple-less Terraney. Hello. Where did he take that photo? Fuck. He gets an iPad for leisure, apparently, in this maximum security prison. And there's like 15 photos of him.

He's like in his bed like goofing. He's having a good time. He is a little bit of a goof. That's all you need, though. If you have an iPad, like there's no prison. He has an iPad? Yeah. They get them for like leisure time.

The Endless Jigsaw Puzzle app is free. Yeah. Easy. Yeah, look at him. He's having a good time. Oh, that's similar to Frankie. He's being silly. Oh, he's sleepy. Yeah, he's being silly.

Oh, now he's got nipples. Now he's got nipples. That's a good photo. That looks like he's fucking something. That looks like he's about to kill you. Yes, it does. It's unsettling. I'm going to strangle the life out of you.

And for those to leak, he had to have sent them to someone, right? Or do you think a prison guard, like after- So do you think they take the laptop back or the iPad back? That's how I think they leaked, maybe. I think the guard who took the iPad back was like, oh my God, I can get some money for these. I don't know. That's funny.

Once playtime ends. Yeah. What the- He looks like any dad ontime ends. Yeah. What the fuck? He looks like any dad on a Zoom. Yep. What the fuck? Did you know what disappointed me that I found out recently is that, like, my phone face ID, it, like, only recognizes the double chin angle.

Like, it only recognizes it down here. And I'll take it up to where I don't have a double chin. It doesn't recognize, and it only sees my double chin. Oh, no. You got to put on some weight. I have. I'm like a pound away from my fattest. No you aren't. All my life I am. There's no way.

Cover this on Son of a Boy Dad. Fuck. Giving away all the trade secrets. Giving away everything. Just not talk. I keep all my good stories for anus. I told him I said don't say a fucking word about South Africa. Rip me up against the fucking wall. As soon as we get in here.

Hey, buddy. Don't went off about South Africa. Never saw a world of t-shirts. Fuck. His birthday party's about to, in ten minutes. I know. Wait, what? His birthday party.

You want to go? Monday, too. Where is it? Did we just live stream it? Can we just watch it? I don't know where it is. I think it's at Rudy's. It's his favorite bar.

That's got to be tough. How old? His favorite bar. 22. 22. He's 22? Yeah. We're the same age.

And he's doing way better than me. You could definitely sell out Huntsville. Easily. They would love him in Huntsville. There's nothing you can't do. Did he stop singing that? No, he's bringing it back. I haven't been on his ass.

I haven't been on his ass at all. Not since Iceland. Iceland was a little overwhelming. Underwhelming. Iceland was underwhelming. He's fallen downhill pretty quickly as far as mental health goes, I think. Oh, no.

There was this guy that was. There was this guy that was counter-streaming that approached him on one of his tours and tried to leak what his tour was to his stream and they were screaming at each other in the streets. Josh threw a drink at the guy and then ran away, screaming.

That sounds justified, honestly. That's like best case scenario if you're on one of those tours. That's like when you're on the safari and you run up on the... Yeah, that's true. There's a plan B for tours now if somebody crashes it, but you don't get stromboli pizza anymore. He takes you a different route, but no stromboli pizza. Oh.

He's got an escape route. Understandable. Why are you eating these fucking fruits, dude? Are you that healthy that you're eating tins of fruits? I don't even know. Cherries. These cherries can't be healthy with how good they are. Yes, they can.

They're fruits. Tastes better than Mike and Ike's. Well, that's a low bar. That's canned Mike and Ike's. You like Mike and Ike's? Mike and Ike's are amazing. Oh, they get stuck in your teeth? They're terrible.

Give me the hot tamales. Dots. Dots are the best. Dots rule. You guys haven't had a dot in a while, have you? I don't think I have. I don't think I have. That really gets stuck in your teeth.

That gets stuck in your teeth, yeah. Dude, these are better than Skittles. They're not. Milk duds are the worst. They are. They get stuck in your teeth. Maybe that's something that a ripped dude says to convince himself that what he's eating is good. And that he doesn't need to have, like, have you ever had, like, a fucking juice-filled fucking gummy?

Oh, yeah. I love gummy. You're, like, one step away from, like, eating a mushroom and being like, it's the same thing. I'll never do that. I hate vegetables. I hate vegetables. That's a little too sweet. I ate grits yesterday. Swear to God, if you just roast this carrot, it's the same thing as steak. No, I'll never do that. I hate vegetables. I hate vegetables. That's a little too sweet. I ate grits yesterday.

Swear to God, if you just roast this carrot, it's just like a pork chop. Hell no. I just got blood work back. I'm 100% gluten intolerant. What? And 99% lactose. Is that like celiac?

Yeah. Sucks. I know some celiac families, and I'd rather be in jail. They have miserable lives. So now what do you do? Yeah. I know some celiac families, and I'd rather be in jail. They have miserable lives. So now what do you do? So I went to the doctor because my side's been hurting for four years. Okay. I just decided, like, I broke down and did it.

Call me a pussy. Took the plunge. It started to hurt really bad. And they were like, yeah, you've been getting older. And I said, that's good. But I had to give blood, and now I have to meet with a dietician, 28th. I bet you it would make you feel a lot better. Wait, 28th?

What is that? Monkey boy. Oh, got to cancel. Isn't it? Wait another four years. I'll postpone it four years. I went to school. In fifth grade, there was a kid that I would sit next to at lunch,

and he was gluten intolerant. And he would always eat some weird gluten-free Chex mix. And his mom would pack it in a Tupperware. And he would eat it like he was a dog eating food. He would put his face in it and eat it up. And I remember thinking, oh, it's because he's gluten intolerant. That that's how they eat some of the guys in the community yeah what i've seen these but then i was like oh no something had mental is mentally challenged yeah being home in west virginia it's impossible to eat anything i bet you once you go on a gluten-free diet you're

gonna feel so much better yeah if you have a serious i've been two days without it now yeah what have you been eating uh apple okay singular or plural i've won peters most of it apple okay what would happen if you just didn't change anything like could it kill you my side would be hurting way worse and then I don't know the damage that it could do. Your tummy's going to hurt. Yeah, my tummy would hurt forever. That sucks. Yeah. I feel like gluten's got to be way harder to give up than lactose.

Gluten might be harder than giving up cigarettes. I wouldn't know. It's in everything, right? Like pizza. Yeah, I got gluten-free pizza. I had to take the cheese off. That must have felt like the biggest cuck move ever. It was horrible. Do you have any gluten-free pizza. I had to take the cheese off. That must have felt like the biggest cuck move ever. It was horrible.

Do you have any gluten-free beers? Oh, I used to drink with my gluten-free friend. There's only like one beer in the world he could drink. Gull. Gull is gluten-free. Gull? You're going to have to import those from Iceland, though. I'm fucked.

Yeah. Having to say it is the worst part. Yeah, I'm fucked. Yeah. Having to say it is the worst part. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Like at a restaurant, the fact that it'll be an inconvenience for every meal you order out now, or you just have an inconvenience to your body. Yeah. At the airport today, I got eggs and potatoes, and she was like, I gave you toast, too. And I didn't eat that.

And she was like, oh, you didn't want the toast? And I didn't have the heart to tell her that. I was embarrassed. Well, gluten-free got hijacked by people who ruined it. Yeah, I'm gluten-free. It's not by choice. Right. And there's a lot of people who by choice do it.

Yeah. And if you want me to eat bread, I will, but I'm going to be a real grump. I'm going to be real cranky. Man. Your stomach's going to hurt. Have you actually been in withdrawal from eating gluten? Yeah, there's gluten withdrawal symptoms, like dizziness and stuff. I haven't quite felt that,

but I've been, I feel different. Huh. Lighter. I don't know. I haven't weighed myself. You probably don't bloat as easily at all.

What if gluten makes you funny? I was afraid of that. Yeah. I was afraid of that. You're just not funny anymore. I haven't cracked a joke since my last piece of bread. Damn.

I'll stop joking too. It's high noon gluten free. Oh yeah, months ago. It's not worth it. I believe it Damn. I'll stop joking, too. It's high-newn gluten-free? Oh, yeah, months ago. It's not worth it. I believe it is. My God, it is. It's on the ad every day. When a waiter comes over and says,

any allergies, you have to say something now. That's the worst. That ruins my joke, because I always say latex back to them. Oh, nice. Latex, gluten, and dairy products. All of them. What do you think the 1% is?

I don't know. I've got to figure that out. Maybe we have a bunch of bread in here I have to figure it out. We should. Try every gluten product for you. Rub them on your wrists. Rub loaves of bread. Yeah.

Little swollen wrists. Rub them on your legs, maybe. Oh, bread. Yeah. A little swollen wrists. Rub them on your legs, maybe. Oh, shit. Yeah. Calves. It's like seeing photos and videos of me moving. I don't ever want to do it again. Oh, come on.

I'll play again. Yeah. Can we get a batting cage in the office? Yeah. Actually, we have some. Yes. It'll be so much fun. We're getting some new.

I heard we're getting more couches. It'll be huge. If we got double-decker couches, it would be worth it. Stadium seating? Yeah. Oh, dude. I did stadium seating in college, and it was the best. Yeah, we might have to just bring in some Cindy blocks and set it up ourselves.

We just had a big, giant piece of wood in our living room. I wouldn't mind some more desks here. Dude, or a desk. People bitching about the remodel are bothering me. What do you want, a basketball court? Yeah. You want a roof ball? Roof ball set up?

Yeah, a house. Oh. Quad deck. Oh That was Oh Quad deck Oh that's sick That's Oh my god That's amazing

That last row looks Not like it Not safe It's not Oh Precarious You lean back You gotta get a bigger TV

What are you doing? We gotta do it. You lean back once on that top row. Their cortex splattering. Everybody on top of their frontal lobe

flying to the Oh my god, that's the hardest looking floor I've ever seen. Like a 20 foot drop right on your head. They spent all their money

on couches and shit not the TV. Dude, I would not want to sit up there. I would not sit on that the TV. I would not want to sit up there. I would not sit on that last one. I would not want to sit up there. Are these guys in college? It looks like these guys are on break at the warehouse.

You can't see that TV. Yeah, this is not even. Who are these people? They're all wearing jackets. We were so quick to call this cool. This is not cool. In my apartment, it was cool. There are just two levels.

It fit ten people. That doesn't look nice. They don't even know the people in the front row. Two full couches. There are just two levels. It fits ten people. That doesn't look nice. They don't even know the people in the front row. Two full couches. One on top of the television. It's awful. I guess we do have it in the gambling cave. I don't know why we're tending like.

Dude, I can't get over how unsturdy that last row is. They bought dowel rods for that. What does he say? What y'all know about people? Quad deck couch. Nope. Can we pause it on that? I'll tell you one thing, though.

We're making fun of it. The day that they unveiled that was probably the best day in the world. Yeah. Like, come over, the quad deck's ready. That fucking ruled. And you just go up there and take a seat all the way up top. Like, wow, you can see everything. Then it probably gets annoying because you have to, like, when you want to take a piss, you have to.

Get the cherry picker to get down. Jerry, I thought you were wearing a kimono. Jerry, he looks like he's about to get some head in the 90s. Like T.J. Ford. Jerry never taps the top of the head. No courtesy tap. It's a great look. I'm comfy.

Baggy shorts are in. I think they are. They 100% are. I don't know if N1 is back. Like Bermuda style shorts or baggy denim shorts and shit like that. That's it. I saw my boy Danny Chung wearing them. I saw Silvana wearing them.

It's a wrap. Danny Chung? Who's Danny Chung? Ice. Yeah. I love that. Yes. You can tell that's photoshopped.

That's so good. Because his arms are way bigger than that. Jerry, when's the last time you got a tattoo? Man. Long time. Last time I got a tattoo was from Tattoo Louie. Okay. Two years ago.

What'd you get? Something over here This one I think And I got this one Wait, there's nothing there Right here Oh yeah See you in the funny papers

See you in the funny papers Jerry, what's our plan for Not getting duped by people online anymore? I don't remember the last time I did get duped. I mean, Bobo. Bobo duped you. That was a dupe. That was a dupe.

Wait, Jerry. That's the definition of a dupe. Jerry, he was never going to show up. He lives in Morristown, New Jersey. You think he lives there? Yes. How do you know that? Because he said it.

Okay. Also said he was going to go play golf with you. Jerry. You don't think he was from New York? Jerry. I don't know. He's probably a fucking kid in like. He knew the golf course I was playing at.

I think he may have. He's like Hendrix is a dumbass. He deleted his account, right? Deleted the word from him? No word. There's been a couple people trying to refake the account now. Yeah. Bobo got bullied offline.

Buried him. But I don't I can't see how that's a dupe though. I think that's a dupe. I don't know. He was like meet me at this course. If it was a dupe I think he would have kept his account and like laugh

mock the fact that you showed up. That's true. Why would you delete a Twitter burner though? I don't get up. That's true. Why would you delete a Twitter burner though? I don't get that. Yeah, true. He's a local pussy? Morristown's pretty niche.

No, that's not like a city I would... It's pretty poppin'. Morristown? Some nightlife. Oh. Morristown or Morristown? Morristown. Morristown's down by Philly, right?

Yeah, yeah. Not that. I fucking hate that. I think about it every day. What happened? I hate him. Last week? Yeah.

What happened? Bobo? Bobo? What happened to Bobo? The guy was talking shit to Jerry online about his golf game and then was like, meet me at this course and no chance you'll break 100. And then Jerry went and sat in his car and Bobo didn't show. Oh, so you fucking diced him up.

Yeah. Buried him. Or duped. Depending on which way you look at it. Buried, you put him six feet under and pissed on the fucking site. Oh, yeah. Didn't a fan once meet you for lunch and then saying he was like, be over here. Yeah, he said he was like part of the Rooney family.

He wasn't, though. Yeah, and then you still had lunch with him, though. Yeah, we ate, yeah. Did he pay? No, we split. We split. We split. Yeah.

So you just bought your own? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, we did split. We got to tighten it up. I thought T.J. Watt was calling your son's birthday party. Justin would pay. Justin would pay. Justin would cook.

Yeah. Justin would cook, that's for sure. Do everything. You met Justin. Yeah, I did. At the tailgate. Very nice guy. So super nice.

When I met him, he was exhausted, though. How many shirts did he go through? My word. He was over the grill all day. So he worked a full day on the grill. Yes. Oh, my God. No nap.

No nap. Right back. That was... Oh, man. What a beast. Fucking bully. Probably slept for like 20 hours when he got home. Couldn't.

Had to go work. Yeah. Had to go to his sister's. Oh, Justin's dead. 12 car pileup. He said it was 100% his fault, too. I would feel so bad. I would hope.

I would feel so bad. It was probably unrelated. Your fault. Could you get blamed? No, no. He should pull over. Spilled a hot coffee in his lap. I did notice.

On purpose, just to wake up. We must have stopped, I think, like eight or nine times at different gas stations and rest stops. But he only got gas once. And I don't remember. I think he was doing something. He probably had to go in the bathroom and scream. Do cocaine. He must have been going to the bathroom and doing something.

Because I don't think you can piss that much. Maybe he didn't want to do it in front of you, which is nice. Probably just closing his eyes. Yeah. The only time he can. Hitting at the urinal and closing his eyes of the car and he started doing high knees. You're just snapping the whole time. I was in and out.

You need your rest. What time did you get back? One, you said? I got back at like 9 or 9.30 in the morning. You guys left at 2 a.m., right? 2 a.m. Oh, wait. Do you have your license?

Yeah. Do you drive? Were you like offering to drive at all so he could drive? Good question. No. Okay. Did you think about that? Not really. Yeah. Did you guys about that? Not really.

Yeah. You guys stop for food or anything? He stopped like nine times. One time I stopped, I got an iced tea and mozzarella sticks. Nice. From Sheetz. They have great mozzarella sticks. Sheetz is the best.

Sheetz is the best. Shit food. They have good deep fryers. They have a good deep fryer over there. They got a mean egg salad there. That's the only thing I can eat there now. Off the bread. You can't.

It's all fucking mayo. Oh, no. Hold the mayo. You can't eat an egg salad. You can't eat a cheat for the rest of your life. Chop up an egg for me. I'm fucked. What are you going to have to say?

No, they have like gluten. You're going to have to go to the fucking sheets and get just that bag of two hard-boiled eggs. I feel like Trader Joe's has a ton of that shit. It's bathed in water. Egg water. You could probably go to Jewel Osco and get some.

That is the grossest item at any convenience store. The pickle in the water. The jar with the tongs with hard-boiled eggs at gas. Oh, the pickle's not nearly as bad. Jar with the tongs with hard-boiled eggs at gas stations. Okay, I'm thinking of the plastic bag

that's like half water. It's like a fucking... Have you seen the jars, though? No. There's like just a community jar of eggs. Oh, pickled eggs. Yeah, and you just grab

the jars and grab some. Yeah, those are bad. I got the eggs once when I was trying to be healthy at the airport and I had one bite of one and I instantly spit it out. It was like the...

It did not taste like an egg at all. I've been sitting there for days. Yeah, that's gross. Fucking egg water. In best case scenario it was like a good Uncrustable. Maybe some of those

cold cuts that are wrapped in the cheese. Those are always good. Those are a good go-to. The Italian style ones. Old reliable. You can do cold cuts. are wrapped in the cheese, those are always good. Those are a good go-to. The Italian-style ones. Yeah. Old reliable. You can do cold cuts. Thanks, Kate. Oh, we didn't talk about Fasoldi.

That was last year. Yeah. When we were on the Alaska trip. So that was old? It doesn't matter. Not enough people saw it. It was one of the funniest things. Oh.

We talked about it on our podcast when we were in Alaska, but Fasoldi recorded the podcast so nobody could saw it. It was one of the funniest things. Oh. We talked about it on our podcast when we were in Alaska, but Fasoli recorded the podcast, so nobody could hear it. Ah-ha-ha. Failure. Happy stood up for himself. Yeah, I am too. A little funny. So for people who didn't see, Donnie had a friend prank Fasoli,

and he texted him, Hi, Nick. This is redacted with the Cape Cod Times. We're doing a piece on the downfall of hometown heroes. We wanted to see if we could interview you for the article. We're thinking of starting with your thriving career at a valet at the famed Lobster Trap and run through the events that led you to being a failed drone pilot. If you're still local, we can meet at the lobster trap

to get some shots of you out front. Please let me know your availability. Donnie didn't tell us he was doing this either. He was just having fun. That's what he does for fun. Sully wrote back, I don't know who you are, but this is an incredibly rude text to send to someone.

I worked at the lobster trap for six years of valet and made it out of Bourne, Mass. Made it out. To go live in New York City. And I currently work at the biggest media company in the United States. You know he's a saint, Viva, when he typed that. Yeah, I don't know about that. I am no failed drone pilot.

My work is displayed throughout hundreds of videos on a major network that has more followers than the Cape Cod Times does. That's a fact. You sent me this message. I was droning in Alaska while you're sitting there cold calling and making outlandish takes. I don't know why you're getting your information from or where you're getting your information from, but you can take my name off any list you have for this so-called piece because I have made more of my life than anyone my age ever did from that town. I'm proud of Fasoli.

Yeah, me too. I would have gone to the interview. I would have been smiling on the cover. We're doing a piece on failed local kids. Like that would ever be a piece. Also, there's spelling mistakes and a whole bunch of mistakes in that. Heroes with that posture. Heroes, Cape Cod Times.

He was seeing red. It didn't matter. It didn't matter. In the fake one, there was mistakes from the fake journalists. It's hilarious. I love that Donnie did that. I do, too. That's something you would do.

That's something I would do, and I'd get crucified for it. They'd be like, Roan's the fucking devil. This bad person. Yeah, that's true. I would get fucking dragged over the coals for that yeah you both would get like oh fuck that you would have brought a way to put physical pain into that yeah that would be funnier no i just appreciate the hell out of it like i just i even know which one of my friends i would use to like fuck with the people. We need to start doing our pranks vicariously through Donnie.

Yeah Donnie has this lovability affable nature that you just can do whatever. Yeah we would have been raked. I haven't pranked

in a minute. Yeah neither. I want a prank. I'm trying to think of my last good prank my last good old fashioned prank. What's a prank?

I got it scared out of me. Yeah. This is definitely going to become a prank-heavy office. You think so? Oh, yeah. After whoever put the dog shit under Meek Phil, like, I know that, like... Who put this here? I watched that a million times.

Oh, so good. What the fuck? What the fuck? Can we watch that? Fucking dog shit. Who put this dog shit here? Dog shit here. Who put this dog shit on my fucking shoes?

I couldn't believe. He was filming, too. He caught himself on camera getting pranked. That's got to be the first time that's ever happened. Who the fuck? Who put this dog shit here? Oh, my God. The way everyone laughs is so perfect, too. That's the funniest sentence of all time.

Somebody coming around the corner is like, who stepped in my dog shit? Oh, my God. He was all there the whole time. I don't fucking watch my whole shoes now. My whole shoes? He's talking like Charlie Brown. I gotta watch my whole shoes. All of them.

Top and bottom. I gotta watch my whole shoes now. It is really the only way that Steve, Snapchat Steve and Benny, his dog, get away with that. Because otherwise, it'd be like, what fuck yeah actually the fact that it became that when did it happen did like the dog run over and shit as he was filming or was the dog shit there and he walked over to film there dog shit doesn't really bother me at all no as opposed to what i don't know i had to pick

it up all the time when I was younger. I was like my, every single day my mom would be like, go pick up the dog shit. Oh yeah, that shit's. I would just walk around with a shovel in the yard. No problem. For hours. Because they shit so much. Just for hours.

It was the best was, the best was the winter because the dog shit would be frozen. Yeah. Summer was bad because you'd come up, you'd come across a sloppy one. Sloppy wet one. You'd be smearing all over the shovel. And that's when you got to take a little one Sloppy wet one Smearing all over the shovel And that's when you gotta Take a little bit of the grass out You gotta kick into the shovel

So you just wouldn't pick it up For a long time I would do it like probably No I would do it like Multiple times a week They were shitting a lot Wow That's a lot of shit

But we had two dogs You got big dogs right Yeah No not really They're pretty average sized Then you would... Over the neighbor's yard? Yeah.

I remember it would sound so cool. Landing. Oh, yeah. You'd land to the dry leaves, and you'd be like... It would sound like it was raining. Those were the days. It'd sizzle on the leaves It sizzled

As soon as it hit The look of satisfaction on your face Lets me know that you are not lying I would try and throw it as hard as I possibly could I guess if I would try to get it as far into the sky Must have been a wild sight to see For the neighbors Just seeing like a massive

Pound of shit in the middle of the air. Soaring through the sky. Oh! Yeah. I wonder if anyone's ever done that shot of Frozen turd out of the... 100%. Sorry, Big Cat Guy. No, I had something totally different.

That's when the most dangerousous Game is coming out. Yeah, when does that come out? I actually just got the first three episodes. It's coming out soon. Nice. Fuck yes. Nice. There was a lot of scuttlebutt from that show at the time,

so I'm excited to see. A lot of scuttlebutt. A lot of little inside little scoops coming out. Yeah. See how it pans out. There were some contentious moments. Yeah. And good-ass challenges.

Was Billy on that or no? Oh, he was on last year. That's right. I don't think they would ever have him on that again. Yeah, that's what I thought. I couldn't remember, though. After his unspeakable actions. They were true.

Billy, like, scared someone, and everyone was acting like Billy was, like, a fucking serial killer. I remember Smitty looking me dead in the eyes and was like, heads are going to roll. It was like 7 a.m. and Smitty was so angry. And he was like, heads are going to fucking roll. I was like, yeah, I don't know.

I was like, I don't think anyone's really going to get fired for this, though. It's not that big of a deal. And he was like, you fucking, heads are going to roll. No one even, I don't think the idea of anyone getting fired even surfaced. No, they just told me and I called Billy. I was like, stop scaring. He's like, okay, sorry. Did Billy ever be able to get hired again after shaking a tent and taking a boogie boogie?

That was literally the entirety of it. I was just like, dude, don't scare anyone. Yeah, no problem. Smitty thought that not only Billy was going to get fired, he thought that, like, Logan, Rob, he thought, like, all, like, the head of production for the film, he thought, like, Rome was going to get fired. Jordan Woodruff was upset.

Yeah. It was, this season had, like, some of the same, like, reactions from people, so it kind of shows that the show puts people to a point of like psychological rage and it is like it's very trying for people to get through people are like oh it's only this long or or whatever and like you only have to do this that and the third but it is mentally trying for everybody unless you're sass just being like yeah i don't care kind of liking the outdoors like just drawing with a stick or whatever yeah well you didn't you you played it well i got my good dose of the outdoors i didn't have anything i didn't want to do also you didn't care so much though that you lost what do you mean last year yeah

yeah you you went you went not caring all the way to not voting for yourself that was a scenario though where you want to come in second i was the the hero of the show. That's true, that's true. It works every time. Coming in second. Billy's speech. Yeah. I had a hell of a speech, too. The least dangerous game show coming out, too.

Us playing board games at Francis'. Oh, yeah. Are we treating that like a pilot of a series? It's been two months. I know. We should be able to just do that live. We should just do it in here. Yeah.

That was so fun, though. I didn't get to watch it yet. I want to keep doing it. Yeah, same. Another one this week, right? Yeah. I think. Not me.

East Dangerous Game. I love it. It was. Just playing games is just fun as fuck. Just playing board games. Big Cat fuck. Just playing a board game. Big Cat, you move this week. Yeah, Sunday. Oh, Sunday? I heard Friday.

Who told you that? A fucking liar. You know the song Chicago by Sufjan Stevens? Oh yeah. I was crying listening to that. Didn't they play it in the bear, right? Yeah, that's how I discovered it. Wasn't it like the last one for every state and made it through like two?

Soupy on this? Yeah. I feel like that's by far the least sad Sufan Stevens song. He's got some sad ones. I was crying because I'm about to be going to Chicago. I literally can't listen to them anymore. It's like him and who's the other? Elliot Smith?

Yeah. Yeah. That guy's got some sad songs. I gotta listen to them. I didn't like him and who's the other? Elliot Smith? Yeah. Yeah. That guy's got some sad. I got to listen to him. I didn't know. I think the Soufan ones are more sad. You guys listen to Damien Rice? Oh, yeah.

He's very sad. Some of those dudes are so sad where I can't even relate. Elliot Smith's very sad and he killed himself. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Very sad. Get sadder than that.

Elliot Smith stabbed himself. Yeah. I can't. I don't feel anything. Didn't Avicii as well? Stabbed himself? I don't feel anything didn't Avicii stab himself I don't know I think Avicii killed himself

with a shard of glass yeah Elliot Smith stabbed himself to death and they thought that like apparently anytime that a suicide is

that like anytime that someone stabs himself to death with a suicide they there's always like conspiracy that it

was murder because of how uncommon it is. How like insane it is. Yeah. Holy shit. Imagine what the Japanese bros have to do.

I know. Elliot Smith is the best though. Yeah. He's got some upbeat ones too. Son of Sam. That's named after a murderer. I know. It's upbeat.

It's his happiest song. Mystery of Love That's Sufjan Stevens That one's a fucking That one pulls the strings Did you see they caught that serial killer? Yeah, the beach The Long Island one

Yeah Dude I didn't hear that He Well, no, they did DNA off of He didn't finish his crust He pulled a pizza box out of garbage and DNA swabbed it. How did they know it was him?

Well, they obviously had already thought it was him, but they needed conclusive evidence. Were they tailing him or some shit? But apparently it was the creepy neighbor. Yeah. It was like everybody was like, this guy's probably a serial killer. Yeah.

They were asking, were you surprised that your neighbor's a serial killer? And this guy was like, no, not at all. Nobody went to his house for like trick-or-treating except one guy, and he gave him like giant buckets of candy, but the wife made him throw them all away. Four that they know of in like 2010. And there also is a video that I watched that this guy's probably like rolling in the dough now. So the serial killer is an architect and this random French dude like

interviews architects, like no name architects. He interviewed him in like, I don't know, 2013. And now the YouTube went from like a hundred views to like 400,000 views. Damn. Cause you're seeing interview with a serial killer.

Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. Or they're accusing him of, but if you look at the map, there's like 12 bodies or something like that on this stretch of beach that like... Yeah, it's crazy. I saw a video

on Twitter yesterday. It was of a skydiver and he just forgot his parachute. Yes, I saw that. Fucking died. He was there to... He grabbed a camera to jump out of the plane. He was so excited. He skydived a million times. Can I see the video? Forgot to put a million times. Can I see the video? Forgot to put on a parachute. Do you see the video?

Yes. Do you keep doing it? Does he know the minute that he... Yes. Can we see that? I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. Yeah, I do. It's one of those videos, Sassy, you talk about where Twitter just feeds it to you.

Yeah, I'm good on that. I was like, holy shit, what is this? I'm good on not seeing that one. When I was in South Africa, we were like up on like a cliff. They're like, oh, these hang gliders are having a bad day today. It's like, why?

It's like, yeah, one of them died. Hang gliding. Hang gliding is one of those ones where it's like, does it feel that bad? Yeah. That's a matter of when instead of if. Same with skydiving.

What the fuck? Oh, skydiving, you're going straight down. Hang gliding, they're just like chilling up there for fucking an hour. There's so many things that go wrong. This guy, the jump was from higher than usual, I think, and it was from like over 10,000 feet. He had to just.

He just realized? Yeah. He got excited and just like jumped. What do you think he said when he realized? I want to watch this. I'm going to watch this. I can't believe people are like, we got to put this out. This is our buddy's footage.

That is insanely fucked up. I got to put out my buddy's footage. How did it ever grace anywhere? They destroyed the Steve Irwin footage, right? They destroyed the Grizzly Man footage. That's what you should do. But there's still the footage of the guy. Yeah, Owen Hart.

But there's the guy on the, what was it, like Nepalese Airline? Yeah, that was fucked up. That was live streaming. He's on Twitter too. Shit, Grizzly Man. Have you guys ever watched the Grizzly Man documentary where they're interviewing his friend after he had already died? Oh, it's so funny. They play the audio.

The things that they say about him. They're like, yeah, we weren't really that surprised. He was kind of like, ah, I guess. He said some nasty things. That's crazy. Yeah. Man. And nobody, like, there was other, they couldn't, like, fly over to him and scoop him up?

They probably didn't know. I don't know. That must be a fucking crazy feeling. A flyover scoop up would be insane. That happens. It happens? People have like people like pass out

while skydiving and they can't pull their chutes so people like have to fly over and save them. Wow. Because they just have to go vertical to pick up speed

to get to them. That happened in like a James Bond movie or something. Those are the videos that used to go viral. It would be like people are awesome. That would be like the caption.

Now it's like see the bad ones. Yeah. There was another escalator one from Did You See It? No, I haven't been on Twitter a lot. Lady got her legs sucked in. I'm just, I'm like going to sleep one night scrolling. And yeah, crazy.

That's why you just got to go to Reddit and subscribe to Centaur Girls. R slash meth is the best. I got on to R slash crackhead. You guys know about meth, right? Meth subreddit is the best. Is got onto r slash crackhead. You guys know about meth, right? Meth subreddit is the best. What is it? They're happier than me. What are they saying on there?

They're not. They all love it. It's not like I'm trying to quit. It was like, yep, this is my life. No, they compare pipes and stuff. Like, check out this rig I just set up. Yeah. Holy shit.

They put filters on their face. Like weed head? That's how they do meth. Really? Yeah. That's the same put like filters on their face. Like weed head. While they do meth. Really? Yeah. That's the same exact thing with the crackhead. Decent talent in there too. You kind of have to tip your hat to people that make meth because it's like you need

to know a decent amount of chemistry to make meth. Yeah. How many people do you think tried to make meth after breaking up? The hard way. Like that didn't even smoke meth. Like I just want to see if I can make it. How are you going to smoke meth? No crack.

Just crack. Crack is easier to make. Like you could just put the baking soda in the lime and the coke. I read that new rap song that's just about how to steal like credit

card info. Yeah I saw it. What? Step by step guide. Jesus. Sucks for that guy. He's going to get arrested.

I don't think you can arrest people based off song lyrics anymore. At least in certain states. Mincy? Well, it just happened. That was a cover song. I went to jail. Yeah. Mincy should have never got fired.

Maybe someday he'll be back. By the way Speaking of our Were you sitting next to me? Frank just asked me for basically a full trip to Germany For the Dolphins And I didn't really know how to respond I'm trying to go with him

Were you sitting next to me? He's just like hey Big Cat the Dolphins are playing in Germany Do you know of any like packages For flight hotel And tickets And I was like what do you ask? the Dolphins are playing in Germany. Do you know of any, like, packages for flight, hotel, and tickets? And I was like, what do you ask? Like, barstool? And he was like, I don't know, just packages. I was like, I think you're asking for me to pay for it.

I will, but I'll make him leave in the third quarter for a flight back, which would be very funny. If he went all the way to Georgia. Goes for a week. Yeah. Send him out there for a month and then make his flight. Yeah, that would be hilarious. Just watching the end in a car with Pasoli.

I think it's after Oktoberfest, though. Yeah. I was talking with Donnie and him about trying to go out there for Oktoberfest. I've been hounding Donnie. I'm like, Donnie, take me somewhere. Yeah. Yeah, Rowan's on vacation mode. Rowan's going to Montauk this weekend.

Fuck yes. Just can't stick around the city too long. It's hot as hell out here. Oh, I feel a little tension. His ass is fucking woofing on me. He is going. He's barking. No, it's just insane how much trips he goes on. Barking. I respect the hell out of it. It's awesome. I wish I could on that. He is going. He's barking. No, it's just insane how much trips he goes on.

Barking. I respect the hell out of it. It's awesome. I wish I could do that. You go on just as many trips. I gotta go perform for 15 people in Huntsville. You went to Huntsville, bro.

Of your own volition for money. I got paid. I also love doing it, so. Yeah, poor guy. I'm not actually, I don't, I'm actually like,

that's awesome that you do that. Yeah. Yeah, no, you can tell. If I cared, I would. Yeah. It's like really cool. Frank also, he got reprimanded by the ticketing offices of the Mets this weekend. Whoa.

For what? For vulgarity and burning a jersey. Frank burned a jersey? Frank self-immolated outside of... I was sent the videos. I don't know if they're for public. That fire would go for a while. Frank lit himself on

fire at the Met Stadium. A tire fire. 30 years. New York's like hazy. He's on fire. Secondhand Frank would be coughing up a storm. Argentina would have fucked up. I have a friend who went to the game and was just walking through the parking lot and was like, Hey, just saw the Frank burning.

And he sent me a photo of Frank burning the thing. I didn't even know there was a Frank. He had a whole crew there. I didn't even know there was a Frank Frank. We had a whole crew there. I didn't know about this. And the ticket, so I saw these videos, which again, I don't think are for public consumption, but I was allowed to talk about it. But the guy was like, you know, we can't have the vulgarities, like all this stuff. And Frank was fine.

And he's like, yeah, I understand. There was a guy who was basically talking shit to Frank, so it wasn't even Frank's fault. And then the guy was like, all right, well, thanks so much. We love that you have season tickets. Is there anything I can do? And Frank was just like, yeah. The Mets logo behind home plate is orange. And every year it's orange.

We have a terrible year. And in 2015 it was blue and we went to the World Series. And the ticket guy was like uh okay oh my god that's incredible good point by him you know any packages to get out to germany i'm gonna pay for it so it's fine you are he's got just a question the first question was. It's amazing his voice carries so well. It's great. Like an opera singer. Pavarotti.

I mean, that play was so Mets and so Frank, the guy who lost the ball at third base and then it bounced off his face. And was smiling. Like literally smiling in the picture. Everything Frank says is correct. And the Mets can't ban him. Right.

They can't do anything. It's bigger than the Mets. There would be riots. They would be looting in New Jersey. Yeah. He's the king of New York. Him sneaking in with like a fake mustache would be funny. Or standing on top of like Jenks.

A coat. would be funny. Or standing on top of like Jenks. A long overcoat. I could never ban him. Frank would be standing on top, of course. Not the other way around. The goat. To Montauk. Of course, we're going to have a nice long yak on Friday.

Just after the... So whenever you got to go, you got to go. Whatever you got to do. People are acting like I'm the only person that's been to the beach. No, you have. You aren't. I went to Coney Island. You did?

Yeah. I want to go to the beach. Maybe I'll come up. You should. You should. No, I can't. I'm going to be in Atlanta. Yeah.

When are you leaving? Friday. What time's your. Maybe I'll come up. You should. You should. No, I can't. I'm going to be in Atlanta. Yeah. When are you leaving? Friday. What time is your flight? I don't know. Are you going to be here for the Yak? Probably, yeah. It's a pretty quick flight. Are you sure?

I don't know. It's a quick flight? You just said it was like a three-hour flight from Atlanta when I know it's less than two. So, I don't know. What story are we getting into? It's like two and a half. It's listed at two hours, 20 minutes. Then you get on getting into. It's like two and a half. It's listed at two hours, twenty minutes, then you get on the plane and it's like hour fifty.

You dumb idiot. Bastard. Just getting schooled left and right today. It's not my day. Miami was tough. Miami was tough. You won a Sporkle, though, the other day. First one ever. How bare bones was the crew?

It was three of us. We had a full house. First one ever. How bare bones was the crew? Three of us. Oh, it was we had a full house. Four of us. Francis was here. Was Rico in? What was the category? How did you win that? Oh, it was four of us. That's his high school classmates. I won. I don't know. That's all I know.

Make up all the excuses you guys need to make you feel better. People should, the people that make them for the yak, if we ever do Sporkle again. Oh, we're going to do it today. We're about to do it. It's dancing around the edge. Hour and a half, we're in.

They should make them like, Nick will win this one, and if I don't, I have to do something. Oh, yeah. Nerd-centric, sass-centric. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Like give fellatio to a guy or something. Whatever.

Something like that. I don't know. Some of these answers are completely wrong, though. Yeah. Some people are lying. Jefferson's a 99. Trail Mix does have sunflower seeds, by the way. But that was a specific brand of Trail Mix.

Somebody said they looked up that brand, and there was. But the sunflower seeds had a more complex name. Not that i've been thinking about it interesting interesting then the worst one that ever the one that pissed me off the most is when they said that uh what is that kids movie uh inside out inside out was a comedy it's more depressing than an elliot sm. Yeah. The movie's, like, devastating. It's funny how hot the dad is in it. Dad is hot.

It's a hunk. You saying the mom's not hot? I don't remember what she looks like. She's mid as fuck. She's a seven. She's like Margot Robbie. She's mid. There is becoming a transition where all of these, like, alpha men are just fully gay now.

Yeah. Like, they're getting close. They're alpha men are just fully gay now. Yeah. They're getting close. They're so close to just fucking. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? What are you talking about? The Margot Robbie mid thing. Yeah, Margot Robbie's mid.

She's not hot. They're being dead serious. Who's saying that? The whole internet. There was a whole thing being like, Margot Robbie's not even attractive. All these dudes. On the foreign side, Henry Cavill. Mid.

Really? They're saying that too? Credit to White Sox State for being the first to do this. He called Kate Upton a six. Well, Margot Robbie is significantly more attractive than Kate Upton. IMO. I think they're both. Depends on what you like, but I think they're both pretty much the best.

They're both pretty gals. Yeah, look at this. Nines. Used to be cute. Now look at him. Ugly as fuck. I think he's pretty attractive. Hard to look at. Full head of hair. What's a Caroline? Now look at him. Ugly as fuck. I think he's pretty attractive. Hard to look at.

I look at that bald bitch. I would do both of those guys. Yeah. I think I would too. I think everyone would. I would do hand stuff. Yeah. No mouth stuff.

Grip it. Grip it and rip it. Pull it like a lawnmower. Gross myself out. Gross. Where's Stephen Chay this week? Does anyone know? If he's at the beach, Sass is about to beat his ass. She's in the Jersey Shore for a week.

We're going to have to get his ass. Sass, are you hearing this, man? I am. This guy's about to be at the beach. He actually went to an ice cream store. He asked me about it in Ocean City, and little did he know, I was the first employee

to serve ice cream at that shop. What? Wow. The first scoop. Did you frame the first dollar? The first people gave us a five. I think we did frame it. You got it. I'm pretty sure we did frame it. Do you think anyone's, like, had opened a restaurant or something and framed a dollar and then fell in hard times and had to...

Crack open the dollar. I think during the pandemic that was happening. People were, like, peeling money off of walls, taking shit out of fountains. Like the crack of emergency. That's like Ricky Henderson, I think, with his first big contract, he didn't cash the check because he framed it

and the A's were like, dude, like $100,000. Yeah. Are you going to cash it? 100 racks. Not bad. Not bad.

Pretty fucking good. You keep grinding, Sash. You'll get there in like 10 or 15 years. You'll get there. What is he wearing? Pretty much the exact same thing as me. Yeah. And he's rich.

Supposedly. Who? Troops. Oh, Troops. We're paying him in quid and pence, though. True. I don't know what the conversion rate is. Troops told me that he was talking shit about me

because he's trying to get me a pay raise. Did you thank him? Of course. Anything for the cause. Yeah. Troops is a goat. He lives a fucking carefree lifestyle. He does.

You can tell he has no cortisol or low cortisol levels. I made a TikTok with him today. He got actually upset at me. The dress one? Yeah. That's something that he would be like, what the fuck? Pause. Yeah.

I'm in a red dress. I wasn't wearing that fucking dress. Oh, he's got to be one of our best homophobes. Oh, yeah. Oh, top tier. He's got to be one of our top homophobes. For, yeah. Oh, top tier. He's got to be one of our top homophobes. For sure. Who else?

Gary. Yeah, look at this. Gary, you wore that? Yeah. Oh, tested too. Oh, my God. I think Frank the Tank looked great. Yeah.

He was just like, what the fuck? Cap blood. Yeah. Wow. He looks phenomenal. Yeah, he does. He looks really. Yeah, he does. He looks really good. Top two.

Our starting five. Yeah, who would you put at first base? Troops is number one. Sexual bases? Yeah. Me, too. Easily. No.

You fucking. I've seen the neighborhoods you live in and the circles you run in. Sass was talking to like a funny comic at the cellar one time. Oh, the stand. The stand, sorry. The stand.

This was a pretty big slip up on my behalf. He was just... The dude was like... He's a gay comic. And he's like, oh, dude, you should go on

Out and About instead of just being like, you should come on our podcast. I was like, dude, you would love it. It would be so funny. Yeah, thanks. Very uncomfortable. You could just invite him on. He's like, no, no, you wouldn't fit with us.

We don't make the same kind of jokes. We can't talk about pussy around here. We don't have the same taste in cock. I'm disgusted by the thing. I'm going on out and about tomorrow. Are you? The boys, the fellas. We just had that big fishing trip

on the Cape, I think. Oh, yeah. It was huge. They liked everything but the smell. Yeah. So what's the plan post-Friday? You guys are going to do the Yak. I think there's a couple times.

I think, Nick, you're coming to Chicago for Bolero? I believe. Oh. I think Hank hasn't talked to you. Oh, cool. There's a trip Nick's taking in early August, I believe. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then you guys are coming back.

We'll do a couple shows then. What? Aren't you guys coming back here at some point? Yeah, we're going to do a final week the second to last week in August. Okay. We're going to do a case race. We're going to go to Stu's house. Yep.

I think Mook is moving into my apartment before me. His lease ends. Is that it with Mook? No. No, no, no. How the fuck does that work? What? It's like a weak gap between his lease

in New York and Chicago. Oh. Stay at mine. Nice. That's a good idea. That's nice. What if it's like a shithole? Could be.

But if you have the quadruple couch, the quad-decker couch, that'd be sick. How high are your ceilings? They're deece. Yeah?ings? They're deece. Yeah? Yeah. They're deece?

Are you excited to have water that you can use? Well, I don't know yet. Oh, that's true. That's true. Wood ceilings, though. Wood? Yeah. Oh.

Why? They're going to be leaking. They probably swell in the winter. Or no, the summer. The summer. The summer. Dude, my shit's swelling like crazy. Yeah, I can't shut some of my doors.

I went to open my door. I got home last night. I opened my door. We made the loudest screeching noise. It was so annoying. The floor's buckling? Yeah. Yep.

This ass has the most swollen wood. You need a dehumidifier. Someone's got to come over and fix that for you. The wood is shit's robbing like crazy. That's a bus. Never mind. You got me all flustered, dude. I should go down

to my super and be like, the wood in my apartment is fucking throbbing. Yeah. You should make a sketch of that with a hot chick showing up and just be like, no, no, I don't want to fuck.

I just need you to fix my floors. Are you making Billy's sketch? We're working on it. Okay, good. Billy submitted a sketch idea. His ass? We're working on it. Zero jokes in it.

It was, I want to make it. He submitted it to Francis. Yeah. He's working on it. When's the new episode come out? Wednesday. Wednesday. Oh, yeah.

That's the one yet? I haven't seen any of it yet, but it should be very funny, yes. I was thinking about that last night, actually. How funny it should be? I was thinking about the sketches of your show before it. It should be really funny. It's next episode. Yeah, this is going to be funny.

I'll tell the boys about this thought. I should play a little Sporkle? Yeah. Hour and 40. Come on. We deserve it. I also went through the presentations people sent. Oh, yeah.

We could maybe do that tomorrow. So on Friday, for anyone who wasn't here, I think it was just me, KB, and Kate. I don't know how we got on it, but we were talking about PowerPoint, and then we had people submit their PowerPoints that they had done in the past, and we got

some good... We had one kid, Ian Pett, right? Ian Pettit? He did a PowerPoint when he was 16 trying to get his parents to buy him a truck. It was fucking awesome. TJ, are there any good ones we can show? I got tweets.

These guys were working on a follow-up PowerPoint. Remember Neil Brem? Yes. About Neil Brem. Neil Brem. I would like to know more about Neil Brem. I don't know if they sent it to you, TJ, but they sent me screenshots that they were working on. We found some gems.

Yeah, I got like 250. Holy shit! There's probably like 15 good ones. Let's do one. Most of them were just like, this is something I did for college and it was just a real presentation. Yeah, we don't need those. We don't need all that bullshit.

Yeah, the kid who tried to get the truck was... He didn't get the truck though. What was that? Nothing. You just face-washing him? I'm getting mad. I'm massively bullied. He's getting...

Look at his walk. Look at his strut. There's a strut to him going on. He's going to be bullying like he plays a Northwestern. He's going to be fucking doing some nasty stuff. We don't joke about that? I think he's the one... There's this one guy who wants me off the act very badly.

I think it might be sass. There's one guy who wants me off Boy Dad really badly. Yeah, there's always one. I think it might be sass. Yeah, there's always one. I think it's always sass. When I said that we might do some shows in Chicago in the next month, I was talking about how it was... If you guys are on a Friday, no one's around, like Brandon and I can do it.

I was like, well, I don't want to fucking see Brandon and Big Cat. Okay. You know what the show is, right? You might not like the show. You see how the logo works. It's literally saying if we needed someone. Yeah, I think it might be Sass. He's probably going right now to comment.

He's probably sitting in the comment section i'll be right back fuck this yeah fuck that yeah he's a dickhead he is yeah cool guy cool guy narcissistic love the dude but man great guy great guy all right so what's the PowerPoint we have? Let's do one. I met like four guys at the baseball game, separate Barstool fans, all have met your dad. My dad's meeting people left and right. Two of them had similar stories. He walked up to him.

This was in Wheeling, and he was at work in Wheeling. And he went up to the guys, and he was like, my son works at Barstool. Can you guess which one? They're like, well, I'm in Wheeling at the time. Yeah. And he went up to the guys and he was like, my son works at Barstool. Can you guess which one? They're like, well, I'm in Wheeling, West Virginia, where you're working. So that can narrow it down. He just goes up and says that to people? I believe that.

He's on a fucking press tour. I do think a lot of people at Barstool's parents are really prideful of their job. Oh, yeah. I think that that's fairly common. While we're on this, can I say something that's been bothering me that I just hate being this far on the outside of a joke? Who's Doug Winoi? Kyle's dad.

Actually? Yeah, that's my dad, yeah. I follow him and I laugh every time and I'm like, but is it a bit that you guys are fucking with me? I think I missed that episode. Actually, Kyle's dad. It's been going on for so long that it has to be. Oh, shit. I've thought that. I still think.

I still don't think it's KP's dad. Yeah, I'm like, it's so funny. The fact that they haven't said anything makes me believe that it's KP's dad. And you know how this show is, like, if you miss one episode, there's times. Right, no, it's him. You're like, what? I mean, people ask me all the time. I don't know what to say.

See, I still don't know, but I'll go with Mr. Dad. Yeah. Even in our group chat, we all screenshot his tweets and send them to the group chat. They're so funny. It would be weird if we were doing that and it was you. Yeah. I'd be very perverse of you. You'd be like, I'm having everybody.

Respond to Michelle Obama out of nowhere he said some stuff that would be risky for an employed man that's absolutely true that's a great point he had one yesterday I think the day before Megan Rapinoe made me cry

Jerry you would like that one alright that makes you feel better yeah I've been laughing at all his tweets I've just been like fuck am I getting got no he's got a good movie Rex yeah Sisu Sisu yeah yes

Sisu that described it to me I haven't watched it but it's World War II The Nazis are doing A scorched earth retreat From Finland This Finnish guy I saw this trailer

Is just turning All these Nazis into paste Right No love Other Nazis No dialogue S-I-S-U On Netflix

I think it's called Blood and Gold And it's like A spaghetti western. It's kind of like an Inglorious Bastards. Love me a good spaghetti western. Nazis. This is like John Wick with no lines whatsoever.

No dialogue? The main guy doesn't talk. Oh, that's awesome. I watched the entire new John Wick through the person that was three rows in front of me is playing. They always have a better movie. Always. Always have something more compelling.

And then you can't just put it on behind them. What if they catch you? Copying. I don't want to be a copycat. No. The bear has showed me that there's great television and enjoyable television, and the bear is not enjoyable. Oh.

Oh. It's stressful. Like watching Uncut Gems. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like working in a restaurant is not enjoyable. Oh. Oh. It's stressful. Like watching Uncut Gems. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like working in a restaurant is so stressful. I wouldn't want to like simulate that.

They did a good job of simulating the stress. Yeah. Who the fuck brought out the fish tacos? I feel an asshole to my servers. Like it hasn't changed that. Oh, yeah. 100%. You always were, though.

I call my servers chef. Thank you, chef. Please send yeah. 100%. You always were, though. I call on my server's chef. Thank you, chef. Please send this back, chef. Thank you, chef, to your teenage waiter. An Applebee's. Coming up to the 14-year-old girl hosting at the restaurant. Hello, chef.

Hello, chef. Thank you for seating us up. Table for two, chef. I'm an easy hand, chef. This is for seating us up. Table for two, chef. Hands. I'm going to need to see hands, chef. This is a Chick-fil-A. All right, what do you got, TJ? Oh, we should spin our wheel, too. Okay, you choose. What animals do I think New Zealand politicians look the most like?

Men I would let hold my drink. Oh. A trip you've all been waiting for. Okay. Men I would let hold my drink. Oh. A trip you've all been waiting for. Oh. How to prevent premarital sex using the Einstein method. And then there was just a really good one that was a dozen fan league proposal. Let's do men you let hold. Yeah I like that one. Better be no slides

and say none. Yeah. That's right. That's men. Yeah. Okay. The's right. That's men. Yeah. Okay. The bartender. This is how it's cropped. This is how it's cropped. I like the font, though.

And I would let hold my drink. Clean. Timon and Pumbaa. Are those men? Yeah. Is that not one of them? Not men. No, they're men.

They both have cocks. Yeah, they have cocks. You have cocks. Not men, though. Timon's a little bit of a slimy bastard Yeah and Pumba would probably Timon's Jewish Right Yeah he didn't get COVID They locked up the basketball courts in his neighborhood

And he fucking sawed the locks Okay Timon and Pumba They locked up the basketball courts in his neighborhood and he fucking sawed the locks. Okay, Timon and Pumbaa. Ed Crosswell, for sure. Okay. Seems like they must know Ed Crosswell. Ryan Reynolds. That's fair, I feel that.

Bernard? No, hard disagree. Hard disagree. Who is that? He's just picking random ass dudes. That was a trivia question. Bernard was such a little bitch. Yeah, he was such a little bitch. We didn't get it.

What was it? Who would you let hold their drink in Santa Claus? Basically, it was like, who is the assistant elf in the Santa Claus? Definitely not Bernard. He's like too famous. I'm like, no, dude. You're Ryan. No.

We should do a dozen trivia episode of Cheopardy. Just all opinion-based questions. We definitely should. Bernard was like always on Santa Claus' ass. He was miserable. Yeah.

Mr. Claus. Mr. Claus. You don't like any of the Jewish characters. Mr. Claus. If you're listening't like any of the Jewish characters Mr. Claus If you're listening Chase Start writing a bunch of This misses in three days Eugene Fitzberg Is that from Frozen?

Not Flynn Rider He is a Oh okay I don't know I only know Flynn Okay Anus boys. Honestly, I agree.

I agree, too. Have you guys ever gone out with these guys? I don't know. My drink is as far away as possible. Yeah. Is this like a metaphor? What does hold the drink mean? Actually, you shouldn't because we do this running bit.

If you go to the bathroom, we put our finger in it. We all put our finger in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as the person comes back and takes a drink, we text them the picture of everybody's hand. I get Ken Jack with it every time. That is a good bit. Peyton Manning.

One Direction without Zayn, Liam, Questionable. I don't know who any of those guys are. I'd want Zayn. That's Niall, Liam, Harry, and Louis. Okay. Sven and Crystal. How. But, yeah. Sven and Kristoff. How old is this person?

I can't get a gauge. Also, how the fuck did Kristoff hold a drink? He doesn't have thumbs. Right. Neighbor Leo. Sure. Oh, so there's the prominence tie-in. He got friend-zoned, and he looks very friendly.

Neighbor Leo's last? That was it. All right. Okay. Pretty good. Interesting. Lots really is last. That was it. All right. Okay. Pretty good. Interesting. Lots to think about. Pretty fucking good.

That was amazing. First slide was really good. Cracking up. That was good. Yeah, that was amazing. You said the... What was the dozen one? I don't know what Canva is.

Apparently, it's way better than PowerPoint. Look at this. Yeah, it is. Oh! What the fuck? No way. Dozen family. Agenda.

Project objectives. Brand awareness. Add value to existing IP. Improve customer engagement. Strengthen business partner relationships. It's a job application. Yeah. I don't know if this is a template or if this guy made this look like this. This is cool.

This is great. Improve brand awareness of both parcel and... This is a pitch. Yeah. I just thought it looked cool. Yeah. It does look cool. It's on him.

Or her. Big Cat, real quick, would you rather win a Grand Slam tennis or a major in golf? Major in golf. I think tennis just because that comes with looking like a fucking tennis player. I think, but the... Oh, yeah. Their bodies. Yeah.

Golf bodies are getting closer to tennis bodies, though. I feel like tennis bodies are like the best bodies. Their bodies. Yeah. Golf bodies are getting closer to tennis bodies, though. I feel like tennis bodies are, like, the best bodies. Tennis and soccer. Overswimming. The number one bodies. Overswimming? Swimmers have, like, long bodies. Oh, yeah.

Weird lats. Yeah, like, long arms. Yeah, shoulders, though. Raw shoulders. They're the best, like, cum gutters, but... Tennis and soccer bodies are, like, like regular dudes just really in good shape. Really in good shape, like athletes. Why'd you ask that?

I was just wondering. I was watching. You wore his tennis shirt today. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I think golf. Something about going on for like four hours and finally winning.

If it was Wimbledon versus... See, that's the thing. If it was Wimbledon versus the Masters, the thing If it was Wimbledon vs the Masters I'd pick the Masters Yeah I think tennis is way harder to do I had trouble understanding it I think it is

It's boring It's boring and stupid I did not understand it So stupid I understand it A combination of I played Wii Tennis Yeah

You played Mario Tennis That's ping pong No Wimbledon would be sick to win. I think tennis is just cooler or more. You think so? I think more celebrities seem to enjoy watching tennis. Al Perez beating Djokovic like that,

I think that's cooler than anything you could do in golf. Like after a round of golf, you've got to go work out so you can sleep at night. But winning the Masters. Right, that's better. It's also a culture that you get to play in it for the rest of your life. You get to go to the Masters for the rest of your life. A little jacket.

I think it would be more rewarding to win tennis. Yeah, because there's more physical output. And I think it's equally as competitive. You have to be equally as good at your sport, plus the physical back and forth of running around the whole time. I think golf, the bonus of golf is so many guys play golf

that the best golfers are heroes. Yeah. You're like, I'm that sick. Yeah, we don't have a tennis channel that has hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Right. Should. I know. Riggsie or Jake Marsh, I guess.

Who's our biggest tennis guy? Hubs. AB. Yeah. I just get so bored playing tennis. Really? Hard as shit. You're more bored playing tennis than golf?

Yeah. Tennis is hard. You have to be at a good enough level to enjoy it. Right. I just try to hit home runs every time after like a couple games. Just trying to smash the ball. It's like it gives you everything

that you'd want to play a different sport with. A home run derby with tennis. We talked about this the other day but a home run derby with a tennis racket and tennis balls. Awesome. That does sound fun. Yeah. Yeah. Let's fly. Yeah.

Super fly. Super fly. Super, super fly. Super duper fly. That's a good hypothetical. Rappaport had a tough one for his crowd. He deleted it. What did he say?

He was like, would you rather. I think it was. I think it was. Would you rather win. I think it was that. Win Wimbledon or win the Masters. But he tweeted it to... Ian, Dan, or Mike?

Dan. He tweeted it to... Golf Boys. Higher golf audience. It would be like if I tweeted, would you rather... Just as I thought, a blowout. Would you rather go to the... It's like when Clay Travis does his polls, and he's like, Trump or Hillary.

See? It's just statistics. It's what the American people want. One of those. Ravel does that too. It's like, no shit, dude. Yeah, your echo chamber is echoing. Yeah, right back to you.

I think it was go to Wimbledon or go to Sunday at the Masters Oh watch yeah and it was a blowout and it would be like if I said you would you if I was my crowd like would you rather go to the Super Bowl or go to like the WNBA All-Star game yeah or like the Tony's or something yeah okay I don't even think they have fans.

All right, let's spin our wheel and play some Sporkle. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We all know what a northern pike is, right? Yeah. Thank God. I was surprised he didn't know what that was.

Embarrassing. That was quite the screen. Yeah. Quite the screen. He was just trying to prove that he caught a different what that was. Embarrassing. That was quite the screen. He was just trying to prove that he caught a different fish for once. Good for him. They're pretty well-known. Common fish. Very common.

Good for Brandon. Especially up north. He's living his best life. I had a king clip for the first time. Is that a well-known fish? A king clip? I've never heard of it. It was very popular in Cape Town. Yeah.

Nice. Had a heard of it. It was very popular in Cape Town. Yeah. Nice. Got a bunch of trout. Dover Sol is a lot cheaper down there, too. Interesting. Is it an expensive city? Everything is insanely inexpensive. Really? Insanely inexpensive.

Oh. Did you just not do the currency exchange correctly? No, and I felt... This hat's going to kill me because I said this on board. Oh, fuck. Give it up, bro. Just give it up.

We'll re-record after this. But, like, their currency's so cheap that they give you, like... You get out... I got 800 bucks out. They gave me $12,000 back. I felt like God. Yeah, Columbia's like that, too.

Yeah, it's awesome. Is there a noticeable class divide, like mansions and then slums? Very. They call them townships. They call their slums townships. That's nice. It sounds nice, but they're literally a piece of metal, a piece of metal, a piece of

metal, and a satellite dish on top to watch TV. Gotta get the games. Gotta get the games, dude. Red zone. They're facing it out TV. Gotta get the games. Gotta get the games, dude. Red zone. Yeah. They're facing it out east so they could see Scott Hanson every Sunday. It's like the cop situation out there.

In the rich neighborhoods, they're everywhere because if something bad... They already have a bad reputation. They've got a bad reputation about how much crime there is there. They're saying if

bad crime happened to a tourist that was there, it would really make the news. They protect the tourists with their life and don't care about their own. It's kind of fucked up but nice for me. Understandable. You'll go there one day. with their life and don't care about their own. It's kind of fucked up, but nice for me. Yeah, great for you. Understandable.

You'll go there one day. Yeah. South Africa. Let's get up to Taibu Mountain. You'll love it. You had some fits, too. I said that. We already talked about that on Boyd.

Do they love Dave Matthews' band over there? A little bit. You're getting your fits off. Why do you say that, Nick? He's South African. Is he? Yeah. Oh, yeah, he is.

There's some random dudes that are South African. Trevor Noah. Elon Musk. Elon Musk. Elon Musk. Dave Matthews is, like, from South Africa? Yeah. Does he talk with an accent?

I think so. Sings with one. Yeah, but not a South African one. Dang. Weird-ass. Talk to me about the fits. I mean, I just have been buying. I didn't have to shop for it.

I just have been buying earth tones. Yep. Forever. What else? What else did we talk about? I don't remember. Yeah, you do. Starving.

You are? Hungry. Oh, here's another thing we talked about. I'm on a 24-hour fast. You are? I banged that one out. It ends in 45 seconds. Why?

Just a post-vacation? I've just been eating and sitting. Yeah. This shit is easy to do. It is easy to do. I need to do it more often. Let's do one this week. Let's do one on Wednesday.

All right, I'm in. I'm not doing that. I've just been ordering frozen yogurt. Oh, yeah. It's the fattest thing. It's fat as hell. Fat as hell, dude. I got two dinners last night.

16 handles. He's getting with the toppings, too. So fat. Really? Fat as fat could be. Yesterday, I got back from the airport, and I hadn't eaten anything. I got a...

Go, go, go, go, go. He's probably got his food here or some shit. He's doing his wet run. He's going to murder that woman. What is he doing? Oh, no. Went to He probably has food here or some shit. He's doing his wet run. He's going to murder that woman. What is he doing? Oh, no. Went to the bathroom. Wait a minute.

Wait. What was that noise? The cherries. What was that noise? The cherries must have ripped through him. Yeah. Oh. How many cherries?

He was excited about that. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Cherry juice before you sleep gives you crazy dreams. Really? Really. Seems like everything gives people crazy dreams Should we talk about that too? I ordered like $100 worth of Greek food

On Saturday or yesterday No track of time And the delivery guy I guess Picked up from the two Long story short I got a smoothie He accidentally dropped off just a singular Green kale smoothie for me. And some lady on the other side of town got mine.

And I had been sitting in the lobby waiting for it. I was so hungry for it. There's nothing worse. It feels like ordering $100 worth of food is not what it used to mean at all. I don't think I've ever gone under $100. It's like two meals. It gets you nothing. It gets you nothing.

But I was still so excited for it. It Like two meals. It gets you nothing. It gets you nothing. But I was still like, I was just so excited for it. It's two dishes. Also, also when you have kids, you order thinking like they're like going to eat like you and they never do. Yeah. I'll order like,

like, oh yeah, my four year old wants to order Kung Pao chicken. Yeah. We'll share it. Yeah. Well, share it. Yeah. You can have some of yours. I'll have a little, and then it just comes,

and they eat like one handful of white rice, and they're like, I'm full. So what did you do, Kate? The lady was like, I thought she was in my building, and I texted her. I was like, hi, your smoothie's down here. Sorry, your number's on the bag.

I hope it's not weird, but I don't want it to melt. I'm down here waiting for my own food, and she's like, did you order Greek? And I was like, I did. Oh, no. And I was like, what apartment number are you? I for my own food. And she's like, did you order Greek? And I was like, I did. Oh, no. And I was like, what apartment number are you? I'll bring it up.

And I was like so ravenous for this. And she was like, oh, I'm on. And she was like completely other side of town. Did you drive there? She was like, I guess we should just chalk this up as a loss. Oh, of course she said that. What? I know, because Pat was out with the baby, with our toddler in the car.

So I thought I had the whole apartment to myself. I was going to lay all this food out and just like. And car with our toddler in the car. So I thought I had the whole apartment to myself. I was going to like lay all this food out and just like, and, uh, and I, so I didn't have a car and she said she didn't have a car either. So we'll just tell, we'll just tell the delivery place that she knew what the amount of food you had. Yeah. I got one. Yeah, exactly.

One sad smoothie. I know. Oh, your family of six. I'm sorry. It was depressing. Bad smoothie. I know. Tell your family of six I'm sorry. Yeah. It was depressing. And you just got a refund or did you hit the reorder or what? We got a refund.

But then I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I ended up doing a reorder for dinner that night. I was like, I'm still going to get it. Did you drink any of the smoothie? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was so hungry. I was so desperate.

Because we move on Thursday. So we got rid of all our food, all our stuff. How did you get rid of your food? Well, we've just not been buying new shit, really. Did you see your Chicago house? No, I've still never been in it. Okay. A mook to go? I also got the timing wrong. Our movers come the 20 20th and as of the 21st that family is still

going to be living in the house oh no this is fine yeah you'll figure it out everything how do you figure that out what do you do she won't yeah leave this shit outside like worst case hopefully the movers don't arrive till like the 22nd wait they're picking up when 20th oh no they won't get there for like three or four days. Oh good, okay. Everything's fine. And shout out to the Yakkers in my neighborhood who took all my booze. Oh yeah, that was huge. That was huge.

And they were super nice. They were super nice about taking your alcohol? Yeah. It was such like a random assortment. You asked if they were mean about it? What the fuck is this, Kate? I don't like light beer. I guess I'll just fucking take it then. Grand Bowie, the fuck?

What was it? What was the booze? It was the plum brandy from Serbia Day or whatever country I had. We had on ZBT several big liquor sponsorships, and so I had cases and cases of stuff um that i just haven't gotten around to to drinking i had a bunch of like chilled wines and champagnes and all this stuff from when my first son was born that i just drink the booze if you have it don't save it for a special occasion yes because you get knocked up again and you'll then you'll be moving and you

don't get to drink it but i was like all this stuff that I just knew wouldn't make the trip to Chicago. Like I'm not going to cooler and all that stuff. So it was just the most random. It was my entire trunk of my car was just full of random. How do you have that much excess alcohol? It's a good call. I after my, I was like a few months after my son was born,

I was like, I'm going to kick it back into high gear. And then I just never did. And then I got bogged down. I never have had it. Excess alcohol in your and then I just never did and then got bogged down I never have had it excess alcohol in your house I just drank all of it I had to throw away beer from my fridge was expired really yeah I had to do that as well I could never like keep beer in my house I would just get shit faced that's a ton of the stuff I would drink anything that was which I told them.

Getting alcohol is one of my favorite gifts because there's a lot of stuff. If people get you clothes, it might not be your style or something that fits, or you might just have too much stuff. I feel like I just have too much shit in this tiny New York apartment. So getting alcohol is something that's perishable. You can just rip on through it. I don't think I've ever even drank a beer in my apartment. You gotta do that, dude.

Maybe I'll do it today. Psych. I'm not drinking right now. Oh, shit. I fell for that. I know, you dumbass. That was crazy how he got you. I was so pumped for you. God damn it. How did I let you do that to me?

Hey, but you still off the sauce? Yeah, and weed, and weed is kicking my ass being off it. Back on, bro. Cold sweats. Yeah, sweats. I was getting them in South Africa when I was not smoking down there. You guys are drug addicts. I know.

That's a withdrawal. That's an addiction. Just every night was like a high dose of edibles or smoking, and I had to stop. I'm going to smoke weed sometime soon. Last week. Last week, so it's been. So you're almost out of the weeds. I go through like highs and lows, extreme highs and extreme lows.

That's why you're eating fruit. You're looking for something. Something. Yeah. You still do Kratom? Yes. Okay. The bag up there. I do Kratom and L. Okay. The bag up there.

I do Kratom and L-Tyrosine, and I found this rectal. Wait, what the fuck? Wait, what? Oh, I know what L-Tyrosine is. Rectal itch, boys. You got to get on. Why do you have that? Are you doing an ad right now?

You have to get on. It was in your bag. What is happening? Sherry's Plums and Rectal Itch. I finally found it. It finally went away. What is it? Wait, what? Miracle worker for rect Itch Cream. I finally found it. It finally went away. What is it? Wait, what?

A miracle worker for Rectal Itch. You've had Rectal Itch for like six years. Emory's Rectal Itch. This is a miracle worker, and I'll stop there. Wait, is that what you ran to the bathroom to go do? No, no. It's only after shit. What the hell is in your bag?

Yeah, that bag is... That's like a fucking fifth grader bag. What type of magic school bus shit is coming out of here? Rectal Cream? That's like when you bring everything you own to school. Umbrella? Yeah. I'm always on the move. The checkered

Vans bag. You've been growing a lot, man. Yeah. You used to be wet all the time. Now you have an umbrella. It's true. You're the wettest guy in the office. Was it an instant fix for the rectal witch? No, but it helps a lot. It's true You're the wettest guy in the office Was it an instant fix for the recto-witch? Um

No, but it helps a lot Like it's like a good burn They're like finally It just doesn't itch What started it? You ever thought about just wiping your ass? What? That's what causes it

Oh Over wiping? Yeah And it just hits me at night You have nice TP? You gotta do baby wipes too Yeah, or TP? You got to do baby wipes, too. Yeah, or dude wipes. I'm only on baby wipes in this.

A lot of people suffer from it. Because you think you're done. You ain't done. Double back. Yeah. There's soldiers left on that battlefield. You don't want to be like Stephen Che walking around with poop in your ass. That's why I saw the bracket this past week, Satisfying Things,

and one of them was one-wipe poops. And I'd like to posit that that doesn't exist. It does. No, it doesn't. No, you're right. I think you're right. You're saying you have to go back for a second wipe no matter what. Even if you get a clean one, you're like, that can't be right.

How do you know it's a one if you don't do the second? It doesn't exist. You're right. You're right. You're right. Wow, thank you. I've been needing more fiber because apparently that helps with a cleaner wipe. Yeah.

And for a while, it has been, I mean, wiping for ten minutes. Pooping for four seconds and then wiping. I wipe for longer than I shit. Someone's clogging your toilet. It's enraging. I genuinely get angry on the toilet while wiping. Where the hell does it keep coming from? Why am I wiping my lower back?

Why is there shit on my lower back? Yeah, it just doesn't stop. I'm wiping my fucking head. Yeah, I'm with you. I get infuriated. Seven, this is number eight, nine. My asshole. Still there? Yeah. My hard plastic is number eight. Nine. My asshole. Still there?

Yeah. My hard plastic toilet seat is like indented with my ass. Oh, yeah. It looks like the steps of the Great Wall of China. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I was talking about this at the stand, and the bartender was like, dude, you got to start eating more fiber.

And he sent you down a wrong path. No, the fiber has helped. Oh, it has. I've been eating more fruits and veggies, and it's been cleaner wipes. Is a fiber like bulks up your poop so it's sturdier? Yeah. Oh, it's infuriating. Yeah.

It gives a little substance, like steel beams. Mine are just, it's, that's what it is. And that was an explosion. I can't imagine. I'm wiping it off my fucking shins. I do not relate to this. Front of your legs? You're saying lower back and shit. It's only in the asshole for me.

Your mouth. I'm literally wiping like here. What are you talking about? Where to God? It's right there. You got a little on his chin. You got a little shit on your forehead. It's everywhere. I don't know what the hell it's from. It's right there. You got a little on his shin. You got a little shit on your forehead. It's everywhere.

I don't know what the hell it's from. Rubbered in shit. You're a asshole. My shins. You lost me there. It's really infuriating. That's what you've been going through, KB? That's why you have cherries in the sauce?

Fuck. It is very frustrating when that happens. It's like there's a fucking sharpie out of your asshole. You have to like enter yourself to get in. Yeah. Tickle your asshole. Yeah. Go like inside of your asshole.

You got to go fingers with the toilet paper. Well, that just means you're not done pooping yet, Seth. That too. No, I'm done. I know when I'm done. No, that means I was like. Okay, it doesn't. Finish shitting. We are very'm done. I know when I'm done. That means I was like... Okay, it doesn't. We are very much done.

I don't know where it's coming from in my ass. It's not on my back. It means the end has snapped off in there and it's not done. No, it's not that. I think you're shitting yourself and not realizing that you're going to the bathroom and sitting down. No, dude, I'm not. But your shit's not coming out in turd. It's not like a turd.

No, I think the problem is that I think I'm turd shit. I think Che. MTSs, dude. I think Che might be on to something with the back-to-front wiping. No. No. No. No.

Stop. Because when you wipe front to back, that's how it gets to the lower back. be onto something with the back-to-front wiping. No. No. No. Yeah. Stop. When you wipe front-to-back, that's how it gets to the lower back. You're not wiping. Keep saying the lower back, Tom. No. No. Above the tailbone. I have shit above my tailbone. Just pushing it up. You think it's not gonna

smear the other way? I'd rather smear onto my balls so that's more accessible. Oh, no. That's your balls. You at least see what you're working with. Yes. Are you letting your shit hit the water or are you catching it as it's happening? No, dude. You might be sitting too far back on the seat.

I literally now. He's catching it like a salmon and like a bear that catches it. Pooping onto yourself. Not even kidding. I wipe. Gotcha. I wipe. I'm like, okay, I'm good there.

And then I move up probably half a foot. How big is your asshole? I'm describing. I'm up half and then I move up probably half a foot how big is your asshole I'm up half a foot I do another wipe full shit full turd your asshole should be a point it shouldn't be an area do you have to like take the toilet paper and just like go like this behind you

yes yes is your asshole like a gully my asshole is shaped like a vagina. I got a valet. I got a Dale. I got a Dale. Pussy ass. Pussy ass.

You got a pussy ass fish? It's crazy. The fiber has been helping. I've been eating tomatoes, blueberries, cherries, blackberries, greens, green smoothies. Hell yeah. That's been making it a lot easier of a wiping situation. You were in hell. You were literally in hell.

I wonder he's so ornery. This is like a shit version of, what's his name? Sisyphus. Sisyphus, yeah. Like a peanut butter baby dude, but with shit. It's really frustrating. It's toilet paper budget. Through the roof, I bet.

Oh, going through a roll of paper. It's a lot of paper. Roll of paper. You need a girlfriend to just come over and wipe you. I need, yeah, I need something to wipe me. I need a bidet. You need a nurse. You need, like, the nurse that, like, my grandmother has.

Yeah, sponge bath. Clamp your ass cheeks apart. Fire. Flamp your ass cheeks apart. Fire hose. Pull your ass cheeks apart. When you're really old like that. I watch Vacuum. There's somebody that pulls the ass cheeks apart. Yeah, like two dudes kneel on either cheek.

Your ass. Like the barbershop chair. Yeah, they sit on the side of it like you're trying to close a suitcase. When you're that big, your ass cheeks get so big. Yeah. When you're that old and big. The wrinkles and shit. Old people's ass cheeks are like this wide. They crease into each other. What old people

asses are you looking at? That's just how it is. What old asses are you seeing? Everyone knows this. You start to realize that when you see someone like an old person or a really fat person, they smell bad. You realize that, oh, they're only wiping about, they're only getting about 30% of the shit off. They're only getting like 18 inches of their ass. Their asses are like large intestines. The volume is huge. And their asses are covered in shit all the time.

Yeah, it is, Ron. Oh, not all of them. That's why we cheered for the nurses. That's why we were banging the pots and pans. I was talking about this. That was strictly for asshole cleaning. That's what I was doing it for. That's the hardest job in the world.

I was talking about this with... That is the hardest job in the world. Yes, it is. I was talking about this with someone about Joe Biden. Like, Joe Biden's at that age where there's no way he's wiping his own ass.

Oh, definitely not. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, he is. Oh, definitely not. No, he's at the age and the mental capacity where there's no way he's wiping his own ass.

He'll get injured if he tries to. No one that gives speeches doesn't wipe their own ass. Does he give speeches? There's people his age walking around New York City. Dude, Joe Biden. Pooping their ass. With pooping their ass. Does he give speeches? There's people his age walking around New York City. Dude, Joe Biden.

Pooping their ass. With poop in their ass. I'm not saying he's not. He's definitely. Oh, they all have poop in their ass. Oh, he probably does the first go around. You ever had a really itchy ass and you wipe and you're like, that's pretty gross. There was some leftover shit in there.

Joe Biden, that's the cleanest he gets. Oh, yeah. He wipes. Joe Biden is walking around with a full shit in his ass at all times. He wipes his own ass, and then before he has to go out in public, like a Secret Service person is like, Joe, can you bend over? Touch your toes. Drop your trousers to your knees.

He might get like a weekly wipe. Yeah. Oh, yeah, like a groomer, dog groomer. What they probably do is they probably put his head in the fucking hoop. They have to put him in that harness. In the table, yeah. Like a groomer, dog groomer. What they probably do is they put his head in the fucking hoop. They have to put him in that harness. They pinch his glands. They probably crack it open and they're like, oh. Look at all this.

They got a miner's light on. Yeah. Like, oh, fuck. That shit's from last week. Yeah, Joe. Too much ice cream, dude. What did you eat? Gerbil.

Yeah. And he's like, I like it. Every day is ice cream. Mumbling as they're wiping his ass. He tried to lick that little kid today. Every day is ice cream day.

Yeah. Crazy. Biden just loves sniffing hair. Loves it. He does. I mean, sometimes it does smell good.

He probably does it because he wants to get the ass, the shit smell out of his nose. Probably he's eating hair for the fiber. Yeah. He's having a deep fried braid. It's like a fucking Beef Wellington coming out with the rope around it. The hair. Like, that's how I keep it together child's hair lady in the tramping a dreadlock with jill wrapping the fork around it Fuck.

Freak. What a freak. What a freak. What a freak. Okay. Spork. Anything else? Yeah, we're going to do a Sporkle.

That was a very funny riff. Holy shit. Yes, I didn't know. I didn't know you were going through that, man. Been going through that. I'm sorry, dude. I got't know. I didn't know you were going through that, man. Been going through that. I'm sorry, dude. I got to a breaking point. I wouldn't wish that on my own worst enemy because I actually know exactly what you're talking about.

How many times does that have to happen for a breaking point? Dude, when you start dreading, you have to shit and you're like, I'm just going to hold it. Yeah. I don't even want to shit right now. Yeah, you basically wipe my shoulder. Hey, you can't shit unless you're next to a shower. Yeah, you're like,

I know wiping my ass is about to be a 30-minute procedure. That's one really strong muscle right here. Just one really big. And eventually you get frustrated

and you kind of just like let go of the pain and you just start going back and forth. See, I don't have that luxury. Yeah. Wait, back and forth

is just smearing. That's why it's there. No wonder you're rubbing it so high up on your back. No, fuck. This food is not good. You guys ever worked in a pizza place? Yes. Yes?

You know when you're cleaning up at the end of the night and the flour is everywhere and it's impossible to clean up the flour so you have to pour water all over it? Clump it. Yeah, to clump it. That's what wiping my ass is like. You're wiping the pour water all over it. Clump it. Yeah. To clump it. That's what like wiping my ass is like. You're wiping the flower off,

but the flower is just staying. It's not going anywhere. It's like grease. Yeah. Yeah. You should just shower at that point every time. Just like make it part of the deal. Yeah.

Well, it's gotten better. This is, this has been, it's gone away in the last week or so. We can laugh about it because you're, you're through the worst part. Yes.

You wouldn't have dared talked about it when you were in the throes of poop shoulder. No. Poop shoulder. Well, they say you're supposed to shit like this. You're supposed to squat on the toilet like that. I think the Asians do that, right? Asians and gargoyles. That's probably how you get the cleanest wipe

because your asshole is wide open. Probably turns into an Audi at that point. Toilets are setting us back. It's so damn comfortable. The fact that they got the magazines in there. Phone. They got the phone in there for you. It's in there. Phone. They got the phone in there for you. It's in there with the phone.

All right, Sporkle. Yeah. Let's do some Sporkle. I think I'm with Sporkle. All right, five most common football injuries, five most popular t-shirt colors, 2022. Top five female Halloween costumes, 2022. Six horror franchise movie villains with the most kills

five star war movies with highest audience score rotten tomatoes six world's busiest cities by airport passenger traffic six best-selling tequila brands in us 2021 five nba players with most career technical fouls six states with most electoral college votes, seven most ordered items from each fast food restaurant. Holy shit. Wow. This is hard. This is really hard. All right, go ahead, KB.

Switch, yeah. This is really hard. Yeah, this is a tough one. Five most popular t-shirt colors? Got to put the produce stand back in the bag. All right. Am I going? Yeah.

Popular T-shirt color. Fuck. White. Nice. States with the most electoral college votes. California. Nice. Five most common football injuries.

I'm going to go concussion. Does that count? Yeah, it probably should. See ya. Boink. That is the most common. Oh, man. Mile.

Man. I think Sass is right. Five or six states. I'm out for that? Got it wrong. I don't know what to say. That's insane. Dude, every game of Sporkle is exactly the same.

Let's go with Tejas, Texas. I mean, I'll try the football one. I would say ACL. I like it. Or an ACL would say ACL. I like it. Or an ACL maybe. There you go. Five Star Wars movies with the highest Rotten Tomatoes audience score, I'll do Return of the Jedi.

If head injuries, give head injuries a try. If head injuries are there. Oh, TJ. Head injuries. Head injuries are not there. All right. We try it. Oh, yeah. I'm looking at the answers. It's not are there. Oh, TJ. Head injuries. Head injuries are not there. Can we try it? Oh, I'm looking at the answers. It's not on there.

Six best-selling tequila brands in the U.S. I'm going to say Jose Cuervo. Go, kiddos. States, New York. Go kiddos. States. New York. Is it not concussion because it's not reported as much? I don't know. Probably.

They have to be getting concussions every game. It's like one a game though. Rone? T-shirt color is black. Ice. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Let's try NBA players with the most career technical fouls. Rasheed Wallace.

That's mine. That's a good one. Got it. All caps for him. I'm going to say Whopper for Burger King. Like it. All caps for him, too. I'm going to say Whopper for Burger King. Ooh, like it. Like it.

Good answer, Jerry. Good answer. I'll do Empire Strikes Back for a Star Wars movie. Nick's making a run on these. Might not be right. I'm going to say Patron for Tequila. Nice. Florida. Nice. Florida.

Nice. Pennsylvania. Snuck in there. Oh, I think I know the last one, but I don't want to take the risk. Let's go with Ron Artest. Wow, that's good. Is it Meta World Peace? Damn.

Oh, damn. I'm out. Look, me and you, we're out. I'm going to go Big Mac. I'm so mad. Oh, Cherry. That's crazy. See ya.

Ick. Um. I will go Jason Voorhees. For the horror movie. Okay. Got it. Popular t-shirt color is gray. I forgot about gray.

Ice pool. I think it's Illinois. Yeah. How about Michael Myers for... Wow, there's one ahead of Voorhees and Myers. Got to be a ledge. Jerry? I'm out.

Oh, shit. I'll go Freddy Krueger. Yeah. Yeah. Atta boy, Nicky. Go, Nick. IE, I believe. Way to go, Nick.

Way to be about it. Way to fucking stand on something. I don't know if it's right. Is it UE and Krueger? Is it right, TJ? Oh, fuck. Wrong. Ow.

Damn. T-shirt color is navy blue? Yeah. Nice. How would you know that? How'd you know that? I just think about what you guys wear every day. Yeah.

That's about it, though. Yeah. Yeah. All right, KB. This is wearing green today. Common busiest city's airport. That could be hard. London.

Yeah, that's got to be on there. Atta boy, KB. Oh, KB. Roan. Come on, Roan. Come on, Rone. Come on, Rone. Maybe the prince, soon to be the king. Beijing?

Sounds right. Oh, no. Oh, no. TJ, is it on there? Oh, all right. K versus KB. Or Nick. Oh, I'm out.

Oh, Nick's out. Seeing that bodiless thumbs down come out. Oh, it's the worst. I'm going to say Atlanta.'s out. Seeing that bodiless thumbs down come out. That's the worst. I'm going to say Atlanta. Isn't that a super busy airport? Atlanta. No. KB for the win.

French fries. No way. No way. That's so odd. It ain't. It ain't. Watch this. Oh, double.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. That was nice. Can we see the answers? Is Dennis Rodman one of them? Oh. Double. Oh. Oh. Oh. That was nice. Can we see the answers? Is Dennis Rodman one of them? Oh, yeah. Rodman for sure. Fuck. I should have said Rodman.

Anglers. 1500 ordering high. Ankle sprains. Shoulder. Shoulder. Shoulder. Red. Who the fuck is wearing red?

No one. Never. Ever. Ever. All right. Let's play another one good job kb guys way to go kb artist in the office thank you okay grab bag one who was deep throat two celebrities celebrity couple with name brangelina four movies with al pacino robert de niro four things you can do once you have cards in Blackjack. Five most popular dog breeds, 2022 AKC.

Seven supporting characters who appear in over 10 episodes of Always Sunny. Seven schools with over 45,000 undergraduate enrollment, fall 2021. Eight most ordered items on DoorDash and Grubhub. Nine best-selling Stephen King books. Twelve apostles in the New Testament. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Back, AB?

I'm fucked. Sorry. I'm fucked. All right, Brad Pitt. Who is Deep Throat? Angelina Jolie. I'm fucked. Over ten episodes, though? That's kind of a Jolie. I'm fucked. Over ten episodes, though?

That's kind of a tough one. I'm fucked. I'm going to go with Artemis. Nice. I don't think she's in over ten episodes. Yes, she is. Ah, yes.

There we go. Let's go with Godfather 2. Godfather. The French bulldog. Nice, Jerry. You're both in the Godfather? Godfather 2, yeah. It says Godfather.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah. In the first one, I don't think Nero's in it. I'll go Cricket. Yeah, I was't think Nero's in it. I'll go cricket. Yeah, I was trying to think of his name. Stephen King books, it. Ooh, nice. Schools, Texas.

Fuck. Ow. It's a tough loss. University of Texas? Texas, Austin? Ow. It's a tough loss. University of Texas? Texas, Austin. Ow. Yeah, yeah. Matthew.

Matthew. I'm going to go with The Waitress. Nice. Irishman? They're not counting a Netflix movie? The Irishman? They're not counting a Netflix movie? The Irishman? Irishman? There it is.

Oh, this is good for you, Sash. You just re-watched all of Always Sunny. Yeah. Right? Jerry? Ten episodes is a lot. What does the last one say? Twelve Apostles and the New Testament.

I don't know that. Okay. Man, I can't read. What's the last one say? Twelve apostles in the New Testament. No, I won't know that. Okay. Man, I can't read. What's the fourth one say? Four things you can do once you have cards in blackjack. Once you have cards? Once you get your cards in blackjack, what are the four things you can do? Oh, yeah.

That's what you could hit. Yeah. Yo. I didn't understand that question either. Yeah. John. Jaws. Stephen King.

Oh. Did he even write that? I don't know. No, I don't. A book? It's a movie. A movie. Shit.

Roan? Mark. Catholic school. Oh. That's not. Ark? Are you thinking of Marcus? No.

Was he in the closet? Mark not on there? Yeah, Luke wasn't, but Mark was. Wow. Okay. Go ahead, Sass. Mrs. Wow. Okay. Go ahead, Sass. Mrs. Mac. Oh.

Mac and cheese came up. Let's go with stay. What? What is that? A blackjack Oh Is there another word for it you think? Stand

Stay Stand It's gonna get a double too Shit Do I get Am I out? No you're in Fine

Uh Tacos Feed tacos Is that this? Oh! That's crazy. All right, who's that? Uh, me.

Nick. Go Liam McPoyle. Ah, the McPoyle. Nice. Yo, why, Ellie? That's good. Ah! Might just be the McPoyles.

Oh. Maybe his name's not Liam? I don't think it is. For what? The Always Sunny. No. Oh! All right, so me, Sass, and Rone?

I'm out. Wait, you're out? I said Mark, and it's not an apostle. Remember the McPoyles aren't in it? Sass, look at us. The two worst players. The McPoyles are definitely in 10. Maybe they're not.

They're in way over 10. Maybe they're not supporting. The two worst players. I got a bunch left. I'm going to go with Max Dad. Oh, I don't know if he's in 10. I don't know if he's in 10. Oh, no.

I just fucked myself. You said you had a bunch left. You called it. Oh, no. Is that on there, TJ? Not unless it's under a different name. No, it wouldn't be. I'll take a risk.

I have an answer that's guaranteed, but let's try for the winner, Cujo. Oh! With a C or a K? I don't know. Might be C. Is that on there? For what? The dog for Stephen King.

No. Okay, so Sass, we're back in it together. I'm going to go with the dome. Okay. No? Oh! This is pathetic. I'll go with split.

All right. I won. What were the Always Sunny ones? How was Max Dad and how were the McPoyles not on there? That's what I want to know. Must not be supporting, yeah. Peter. Marley's mom.

James. Bill Ponderosa. Thomas. Phillip. Bill Ponderosa's in there. Judas. We should have done. Why didn't we do Golden Retriever?

I mean, those are easy. Yeah. What is that first one? I is on there. That's crazy. Oh, wow. Godfather. He. What is that? Ty is on there? That's crazy. Oh, wow. Godfather. He wasn't Godfather?

Am I misremembering Godfather? No. Godfather Part 2 was. Because he plays the. He plays young. Vito Corleone. Vito Corleone in Godfather 2. Vito Corleone's old.

Like, do they do flashbacks? I don't fucking know. I didn't even read the other categories. I didn't either. Eight most ordered items on DoorDash and Grubhub. Burger. Stephen King did not write Jaws. Stephen King wrote The Dome, though, right?

That's a Stephen King movie. Book. He writes E.T. I'm thinking of Steven Spielberg. Who directed Jaws. One more or no Spielberg. Yeah. The directed job. One more or no? Yeah. Yeah, let's go.

I'll just keep playing. Kids for the kids. Four states with the most national park. Five longest rivers. The five top-selling motorcycle brands in the U.S. in 2022.

Five largest stadiums in the U.S. as of 2023. The top five James Cameron movies. RT credit, five largest stadiums in the U.S. as of 2023, the top five James Cameron movies, RT Critics Score, Rotten Tomatoes Critics Score, five tennis players with the most Grand Slam singles wins, eight best-selling cookie brands in the U.S. 2017, six most streamed movies on Disney, eight longest living animals, eight wrestlers that appeared most on WWE slash WWF. All right, so I'm first.

I'll start with the Nile. I'm out. How's it not Long River? Fuck. Is it not? I guess not. I'm actually realizing. It's the longest.

Yeah, it's the longest. Maybe this is America. Is that America? It might be America. No. Is the Nile the longest? Yeah. Yes. I thought it was that it flowed the other way. It's still the longest. It's the longest.

Amazon's the deepest. Wow. We're pretty much playing. Spelled it wrong. They spelled Nile. Oh, they spelled it wrong. They're like, Kyle? They spelled it? What?

Say it again, TJ. N-I-L-A. He's fools. Okay. Maybe they meant that category to be tastiest wafers? No. All right, go ahead. I don't know the right...

You got to spell it. So McPoyle's not... I'm going to be mad about that. Yeah. No, McPoyle is... They're in like 30 episodes. Might be just not support. They are.

They're the definition of support. I know. I know. I agree with you. I 100% agree with you. We're taking these as fact. Do you like tortoise or tortoise? Tortoise? A tortoise?

Did you say tortoise? A turtle and a tortoise. I'm a fan of... A tortoise? A tortoise. If the waitress is supporting, the McPoyles are supporting. A tortoise is what Sass has to do. Every day. Yeah. The waitress is in probably more episodes.

I will go... God, I... Oh, Oreo. Mississippi River. Yeah. Utah. Utah Harley Davidson sit there um

come on Sass come, Sass. Come on, Sass. You can't be out. Largest stadiums in the U.S. Top five-slime motorcycles. Longest rivers. Come on, Sass. Hold on.

I'm trying to... I feel like I had one, but I don't remember where it was. Oh, we'll look it up. Come on, Sass. Stop. Come on, Sass. Largest stadiums. Come on, Sass.

James Cameron movies. Come on, Sass. Wrestlers. Longest living animals. I'll gos. James Cameron movies. Wrestlers. Longest living animals. I'll go with the Greenland shark. Nice. What a pull. Please don't show up. They live for over 500 years.

That was such a given that it was happening. Say shark. Look it up. It might be under shark. Shark. Is there anything on there, TJ? Shark? If you look it up, they're wrong.

All right, I'll go with Nadal. Is it just men or can there be women? Oh, it's men. It says... Oh, no, you're right. Can we find out if it just men or can there be women? No, it's men. It says... Oh. Oh, no, you're right. Can we find out if it says men? Greenland shark is seventh.

And what is it? Eight longest. So how is that not right? Whoever's making these tests can fact check. I know that. They're yak guys. They're sophomores. I'll do Serena Williams.

Oh, nice. How big are you, Jer? Good answer, Jer. I don't know if it's just guys because she's a girl. She is a girl. On this list, they're third. Okay, so I guess there's... Sass is still in.

Argument over... Sass is in. Sass is still in. Ranges. I will do... I'll do Ch ahoy O-Y Just O O-Y

Yeah Famous Amos Nice Do a lot of bulk orders I don't know that's like Oh Oh Hate's out

Day I win. Beaver. Oh, you got lucky. I was meant the beaver state. Oh, I thought you were doing longest living animals. I know, beaver living that long. Beaver's 200 years old. Come on.

Get sucked up real fast. Titanic. Damn it. Is he Avatar? That's not James Cameron. It is. According to the guy who made this. Oh, critic score. All Alright, I'm out.

That's stupid of me. Roger Federer. Yeah. That's your charity. I'm on fire. Um. Man, I feel like I should know the longest living animals.

Uh. Elephant? Yeah. Yes. Exassi. I only know one more, so. Who's that? Oh, you're done. California. I'm sorry, seven. How about humans? What an answer.

Wow. What an answer. Who's up, Jerry? Who's that? Novak Dj's that? Who's that? Novak Djokovic. Nice, Jerry. Damn. Animals.

Lobster. Humans shouldn't even be on that list. Isn't that the whole premise of it? Not even the lobster? I think so. All right, who's still in? KB, Roan, and Jerry? Whoever made this list is a fucking... Thank you for making the list, but you're a moron.

Who's up? You, KB. Amazon. Nice. Roan. Nice How about Triple H Yeah No I'm saying no

From the pool of cherry Kurt Angle Kurt Angle No KB for the win. Is he a wrestler? Yanksy. Oh, that's China.

China. UG. China. Est. Oh, yeah. KB wins. KB wins. We gotta do one more.

Try Jellyfish. Jellyfish won't die. People are afraid they don't count as animals. We gotta do one more. Yeah.fish. Jellyfish won't die. People are afraid they don't count as animals. We gotta do one more. Yeah, see, whoever made it. Jellyfish, there's a certain type of jellyfish that literally never will die. Michigan Stadium, Ohio Stadium, Caulfield, Tiger Stadium. Sea anemone, killer whale, European eel.

Killer whale's not on there. That's not one of the longest living animals. I thought lobsters lived like 100-some years. Wait, eight wrestlers. Spell Vida? Oh, Moana. I should have done Moana. I watched it a million times.

I read that question wrong. John Cena would have been uneasy. Oh, yeah. Maybe Kurt Angle was a wrestler, right? Yeah. I would have said Hulk Hogan. I read it wrong. Eels are on our ass for life expectancy?

No, they're not. Whoever made this list, they must have just been going off of what they thought. Holy shit. Villa Wafers was actually European, yeah? It was. That's cookie, yeah.

All right. There's literally an animal called the immortal jellyfish. Good recipe cookie. Oh, yeah. Is that an animal? Yes. Is that a... A crustacean?

I don't know. Yeah, I don't understand those, so maybe I'm wrong. Amoeba. Hey, Frank. Hey, Frank. Hey. All right, here we go last one one food you can eat in the morning evening and supper time according to 1996 commercial two names of obama's daughters three most streamed original netflix shows 2022 four characters named for cast

sex in the city five top porn stars searched on porn hubhub 2022. Six top richest men in America as of April 2022. Ten most valuable American sports teams. Eight major phases of the moon. Nine countries with the most islands. Eleven titles of American horror story seasons. Wow. I don't know any of these. You don't know the porn stars?

Yeah, I could do something like that. I feel like those are going to be weird answers that you wouldn't expect, though. Jerry, if you can clear the board on porn stars, you win. Clear the board on porn stars. You're the only nobody else can do it. No one else can guess porn stars except Jerry.

If you can get all five, you win. There you are. Go ahead, Kim. Trust me. Sasha. Uh-oh. Malia. Murder House.

Come on, please. The Cowboys. Oh, my God. Jerry. You got this chair oh uh i don't uh i can't hold on um describer titty big titties the indian looking one oh yeah yeah i don't know oh this is she's retired oh go with yeah active no he is active 2022 I'm thinking like what the most. Go with search. Yeah. Think moans. You might be right.

Think strokes. Ass. Think ass. Think tightness. Think depth. Anal's important in this. How to be able to do anal. Yeah, but see, I don't want to guess that because.

If you were on that, no, I wouldn't touch this. Yeah, I'm not going to touch that. I can't read. Let's go with the top hits. Free guess. Free guess. Free guess. One free guess.

No, because then it's going to narrow it down to what I like. No, go ahead. One free guess. You already know what you like. What you like. Yeah, wait. Oh, feet. Jerry's going to be like, Lex.

Oh, you know. Not yours. Foot porn stars. I don't even know if they're fans. Let's go. What about Pornhub? Free guess. Have you ever been on Pornhub, Jay? Get a free guess.

Who do you think is the most popular? No, we're not talking feedfinder.com. We're talking porn. Free guess. I know. You could find your porn on Google Images. Save porn on. Free guess.

I would say Brandy Love. Okay. I don't think it's going to be. Free guess. All right. No. Okay, good. All right, that was your free guess.

Can somebody read me? The most valuable American sports team. So Cowboys was number one. Okay. Yankees. Good answer. Yes. Good answer.

Can't believe this one got to me. I'll do waning gibbous for major phases of the moon. Nice. W-A-N-I-N-G. We were all about to say that one. G-I-B-N-I-N-G. We were all about to say that one. G-I-B-B-I-O-U-S. Oh, boy. W-A-N-I-N-G.

Hawaiian Wayne. Yeah. I'm wrong. No. CJ? Oh, my God. There you go. Oh, right there at the end.

Bastard. Samantha. Okay. Samantha. Okay. Harry. Kyle. Harry? Maybe. Harry?

I said Carrie. Oh. Is that right? C-A-R-R-I-E. Bradshaw. Indonesia. Nice, nice, nice. Asylum.

Bagel Bites. The only correct spelling Zuz had was Brandy Love. You guys remember the Bagel Bites commercial? No. Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime. Hail for some Bagel Bites right now. Pizza's on a bagel. You can have pizza anytime.

Yeah, it was really cool. Sounds cool. Loved the bagel. I really like them. Really? You don't? It always needed a little more sauce or something. They're always a little more.

Yeah, a little more dry. Do Dodgers? Okay. Good answer. That's weird shit. It's international, I bet. It's American. It says American.

All right, go ahead. Lost that bet. I will do Freak Show. Nice. I say Philippines. I think there's a lot of islands there. Oh, yeah. One L.

Two Ps. Musk. Yeah. The Washington Commanders. He's considered American? Oh, fuck. I'll go with cult. In America?

Maybe that's... Oh, in America. Gates! You out? You're out. I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. I'll do Coven Bastard

I thought I was going to clean the fucking board with this and win Very very popular show Fuck I watch Jackson City all the time Okay Samantha Abela Danger Interviewed her She's lovely

Damn I'm wrong Yeah number one Abella Danger. Ooh. Interviewed her. She's lovely. Sheets. Damn, I'm wrong. She's not on there. Yeah, number one. Great took us on that lady. Gotta think ass. Jesus. Great brain.

Nice. Oh, how could we forget? Miranda. Hotel. Patriots. Oh, me. I will do Squid Game. Games?

Ooh. A game? No? I thought it broke records did you say waxing gibbous i didn't yet what did you say waning i said waning i'm gonna say whack give me a waxing gibbous please i don't know if that's a thing i have no idea what you do when you're watching the uh porn stars squid game was 2021 damn it damn it all right so it. Oh, there we go. Wait a minute. Canada. So Kate and Nick are out. No, Kate's in.

Oh, Kate's in. Just Nick and Jerry. New York Giants. You bastard. 1984. Is that it? I don't know if that's it of course it is it I'm a fucking genius is Palmer two L's no I'm out fuck I love my guy Palmer shit Two L's. No, I'm out. Fuck.

I love my guy, Palmer. Shit. He should have gone with the teams. Idiot. I'm out. Me? You're out. She has brown hair.

She's married to Harry. What the fuck is her name? She said to Big, I curse the day you were born. She wears the best clothes. She's the wealthiest one. What is her name? Roan. Shit.

Sherry DeVille, America's favorite stepmom. I think it's with a C. I think it's with a C-H. Is that porn? Yeah. TJ said wrong. All right, so it's just the three of you guys. You think it's with a C-H?

Maybe. Sass, I'm rooting. Maybe C-H-E-R-I. I don't know. I'm rooting for you. That's how everybody spells Sherry. Stuck under the sink a lot. I'm going to go the New York Jets.

Would you like the OG stuck under sink? Feels good. Oh! She's an innovator. How about full? Oh! New moon? Sass.

I'm going to go with apocalypse. Don't let us down, Simis. I don't know if that's one. That's not how you spell apocalypse? Yeah, the neat. Oh. You're close. No, not even. E-S-E. Yeah. the neat. Oh. You're close. No, not even.

E-S-E. Hey, Ron. Ron. Japan. Sass. Riley Reid. That's a good cast, though. Sass.

Okay. Go, Sass. You had that one in your back pocket Freaking case of emergency Lucky for you I heard she's really into poopy butts She loves a guy with a poopy butt Can we go Lakers Nice

Lana Rhodes Yeah Nice Lana Rhodes Yeah Sass You hard right now dude Sass Getting it How about Walton Oh good answer.

No. They might have split it up. Sass for the win. Sass for the win. Sass for the win. Don't fuck this up. I'll go with Mia Khalifa. No.

Oh, Sass. No. Go to another round. Oh, we're back. Fuck. Shit. Are any guys on the porn list? Why not? Don't be stupid.

Johnny Sins. Johnny Sins might be, honestly. TJ, you want to tell us if Johnny Sins is be, honestly. TJ, you want to tell us if Johnny Sins is on there or not? I'm surprised that those people are on it, but Brandy Love is not on it. That doesn't make any sense. All right. Roan? That's just unfathomable.

Let me get a look. No sense. Fundamentally makes no sense. Oh, I got one. No, not a porn star. I got another answer. Fuck. Come on, bro. Clock's ticking.

I know. Sex and the City name is killing me that I can't think of it. I've seen every episode ten times. I don't want to be like Caroline or something, but that's not it. No. Roni, want me to give you an answer? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Sass is trying to get a win. A full-loaded win. We can all give Roan one answer. No. I think that's fair. What about the Knicks? That's a good answer. No!

Sass. All right, I'll go with Dahmer. Like Jeffrey Dahmer. Nope. Oh, no. Oh, he's getting the thumbs down. What was that? Was that not 2022?

I think it was. That was like one of the most streamed shows of all time. I think the Eagles might be on there. I thought so. I thought they could be in there. Wednesday isn't on there? Eagles might be on there. I thought so. I thought they could be in there, but I didn't want to go. Wednesday, is it not on there? Eagles? No.

Yeah. The Red Sox? Oh, yeah. All right, try it. Wait, Rowan, you won. Pitcher's already. I, Cordy Chase. Rams?

Are the Steelers on there? Why? Why? Show us. Just show us. Porn star? Yeah. No way she's in the team.

Rams. Oh, Bears. God damn it. Who are the porn stars? Bears are that bad. Porn star? Yeah. No way she's in the show. Rams. Oh, Bears. God damn it. Who are the porn stars? Bears are that bad. Quarter of Waxing Crescent last quarter. I don't know either of those people. USA was going to be another one.

Sweden, Finland, Norway, Australia. Roanoke. Double feature NYC. Charlotte. God damn it. Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte York.

Charlotte York. Stranger Things, Ozark, and Wednesday. Maybe I was really off by the Dahmer show. I thought that show was really huge. Angela White's a good one. Feels like every show that comes out on Netflix breaks a record, though. Oh, Zuck. How'd we fuck up Zuck?

Oh, yeah. Shocked the Bears are on there. All right. Okay, great yak, everyone. Good game. See everyone tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Yeah.