The Yak - Kate and KB Race in the World's Newest Gameshow | The Yak 1-18-23

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

*Gargling noises intensify*You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Late start. Whoa, three-way. What's with that? Looks good. Is that TJ in there? No, TJ's not in there. Stanko? Stanko going three-way. What's with that? Looks good. Is that TJ in there? No, TJ's not in there.

Stanko? Stanko going three-way? I don't mind. Stanko, how many three-ways have you had in your life? Good question. No comment. Stanko had one, but it was just both bitches were sucking your dick, right? Is that what you were telling me? You said both bitches were sucking your dick?

Yeah, both sluts were sucking your dick. Yeah, that's what he said. That's what he said. No comment. One of the girls was really cunty, right? You said both bitches were sucking your dick? Yeah, both sluts were sucking my dick. Yeah, that's what he said. That's what he said. No comment. One of the girls was really cunty, right? He said. Yeah, but he said typical.

Right. He said, thank God I met my wife because I was so sick of just getting sucked off by multiple chicks at a time. Two women at once.

Yeah. How do two women ignore the balls? They were both sucking the same way. Well, the shaft is so were both sucking the same weight. The shaft is so long. It's such a long shaft.

It's like doing a shot ski. It's unbelievable to even picture. It was like doing a shot ski. It looked like a Christmas story. How are you feeling, Stanko? I'm feeling pretty good, Dan. How are you feeling? Hey, when are you going to the Rangers game for the thing?

That's tomorrow, Dan. Oh, okay. That's tomorrow. What's the thing? Nothing. Okay. He's going to a Rangers game. That's the thing. He's going to the Rangers.

I don't think that's the thing, Dan. He's literally going to a Rangers game. That is true. You remind me of a park ranger. Yeah. Who does? Stanko or Brandon. Stanko does kind of remind me of him.

Maybe an arborist. He goes around being like, oh, you're going to. I've seen this before. This has been taken out. Are you saying like a botanical gardener or like a... Arborist. Like he's in the wilderness with a fucking all green outfit. National park type of shit.

I used to think that the Central Park Rangers were like horrifying because of the scene in Elf. Have you guys ever seen the scene? Have you ever seen Elf? It's the Central Park Rangers. Yeah, they make them out to be like The SWAT team in that movie And then you see them in real life And it's just like a bunch of Fat dudes on horses

Yeah they're just trying to make sure No like joggers get raped Yeah And they're not doing a good job No Terrible job Isn't it crazy to think of like Central Park as like

Wasn't it in like the 80s and 70s Like the Like people just die Get killed there Yeah It was pretty unsafe Yeah Now it in like the 80s and 70s like people just die get killed there it was pretty unsafe now it's like I feel like a pussy when I'm there feels like the safest place in the world have you ever been there at night

yeah dude it's horrifying I ran through there at night and I was the only person in the whole park what's horrifying about that it's freaky that's how you get raped there. But if you're the only person, there's someone in there.

You're the only person that you can see. People have to be living in the weeds. Yeah, there has to be people that have full on... So there's always rapers there. Yes. It's like the hills have eyes

or just like... Yeah, it was creepy. It sucks that the internet got a conscience because I would love to do a challenge where one of us had to try to live in Central Park for a week.

Then people would be like, oh, you know, homeless people actually do it. The rats in Central Park would be the worst part about living there for a week. They're everywhere. I haven't seen them. I don't think I've seen a lot of rats in Central Park. No, like anywhere that there's like foliage, there's fucking tons of rats. You just get a big wheel of cheese and you put it like 50 feet away from where you're sleeping. Fuck that.

I would hate it. That cheese would be gone in 30 minutes. Yeah, no rats. I would hate like sleeping outside. Yeah. I'd find one of those rocks that A-Rod sunbathed on. You know what one of the big killers is there every year? Tree limbs.

Like every year on windy days there, people get hit by tree limbs and die. What? Little known fact, because the trees are so old and big. You see a story like that every year. Central Park? Central Park. What? What about people getting hit by ice from the tall buildings?

That's scary. Oh, yeah. That's horrifying. Those videos of it missing someone by like a foot. What about sneaking into an Olympic village to use the bobsled and getting decapitated by a wire that you didn't know was across the track? That'd be horrifying.

Wow. And that happens a lot. Yeah, that happens to a lot of people. In Central Park times, it should have. It's happened a couple times. Who was I talking to who went on the... In Calgary.

Who went on the bachelorette party and went down in Mexico and they broke into the water park? Was it any of you or was this it? I was drunk at a bar when someone was telling me this. And the woman who was getting married, they snuck into this water park. They're all drunk. Sounds like a Taylor LeJuan story. And they went down the water slide and there was, because it had been shut off or whatever, there was a grate at the bottom.

And she ended up shattering both of her legs in the water park at the whatever. Did all of them go down at the same time? No, but she was with a guy. Because it was a group of dudes that they had met at a bar who were like, we know this water park. Let's sneak, whatever. There was no water going down, but it was one

of those straight down fucking slides. And the bottom was like What happened? Her legs shattered. She survived. People get one of those like straight down fucking slide oh and the bottom was like what happened she like her legs like she survived people get decapitated on this yeah no yours their hair get caught in the filter who was i think it was my cousin's friend or something somebody hit me up the bride was with a guy the whole all the gals were like they met these guys at the bar who were like we know this fun place and so i guess this guy was like come down the slide with me and i don't know well did the guy go down slide slide? He got fucked up too.

Then they had to because they were in this illegal spot and they were out of country and they were like, we don't know if we're going to get to her. They had to drag her out of the park. Thinking about going down a slide really fast and hitting a great...

Should we put her on the wheel? These Calgary kids actually snuck in to do the bobsled at the Olympic thing. This is a real thing? Yes. And two of them, there was a chain. It was dark. And the first two, one of them got decapitated, one of them very injured. And they had to wait as the rest of them came down knowing their fate.

And then two of them decapitated. And they were brothers. Holy fuck. Why couldn't they yell? Get out. Bobsleds. They were fucked up. They're hard to stop.

Holy fuck. They didn't yell because they were fucked up? Well, one didn't have a head, yeah. But you can still yell for eight seconds. They may have yelled, but it wouldn't work. Has there ever been on a bobsled? Yeah. Fun. Scary. Not scary at all.

It goes so fast. Not scary at all. Fun. Scary. I'd like to do it. I also did it when I was like six. You think you'd be less scared now? You'd probably be more. I'd probably be less scared. What would the order of your bobsled be? Like who's in the front? Are you two?

I'm definitely in the back. No, the middle is like sack of potatoes. You just put the people in the middle who are the biggest. Who's in the back? Whoever can steer? I don't know. Who's in the front? I can see Roan being in the back. Actually, everything I've said doesn't make sense.

As you kept on asking questions, I realized I was making up as I went along. It's got to be KB in the back as you kept on asking questions I realized I was making up as I went along. It's got to be KB in the back. Cool running. All legs charging down the fucking... They were all the same size. Those dudes are thick though.

I just can't respect it fully. Why? Maybe skeleton is too much. You feel like... What's the difference? I don't know what's the difference. If you were a... What percentage of skeleton athletes... What's the difference? I don't know what's... If you're a...

What percentage of skeleton athletes don't make the Olympics? Skeleton is going... Something you get into and then you're on track. You're in... Skeleton is first. Skeleton is luge head first.

Okay. If you can successfully skeleton once, you go to the Olympics. You're... Yeah, there can't be more than... There's got to be more than at least a dark horse.

Why did they come up with the name skeleton for that? I think it's because you're going head a dark horse. Why'd they come up with the name Skeleton for that? I think it's because you're going head first. Scary. It's scary. Aren't you on your back like this? No, that's luge. Oh. Can we watch a bobsled crash?

Oh, God. Oh, they get rough. Yeah. There's always... Every Olympics, there's one loser that gets killed on the track. Are you serious? No way. Yeah.

Every Olympics? Maybe not every Olympics, but it's very frequent. What? What happened in Sochi, I think, somebody flew off the course and hit, like, a steel beam that was, like, holding the facility up. It goes so fast. Yeah.

And for what? Lose deaths are not uncommon. For what? Yeah, no thanks. A gold medal? Like, if you walked into someone's house, and they're like, hey. Oh, is this guy going to die?

I doubt it if it's on YouTube. Oh, is he just out of it? Oh. Oh, that was fine. What happened to him? I think he flipped over. If you walked into someone's house and they're like, hey, come here. I want to show you something.

It's like, see this? Because for the risk, too, I feel like there's not a ton of, like, skeleton pussy out there. Right. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, if you walk into someone's house and they're like, hey, want to see this? Like 2004 luge gold medal. I mean, how many bobsled and luge tracks in the world are there? There can't be that many.

Right. 30? Shitloaded Europe. How many skeleton athletes' parents were? Yeah, upstate New York's got to have a couple. Austria has to have like a billion of them. Yeah. I don't think Austria has a billion.

In your backyard. I would love to sit in the U.S. You've got to bring Skeleton to Jackson, Mississippi. I do. That would be an awesome video. Let's get Tommy a gold medal in the Olympics. Yeah. Skeleton?

Yeah. He's not scared of shit. You like speed? Yeah. He would do that. Eh. Maybe he wouldn't. Were you saying Jackson because you thought it would be like a black thing,

like more of like an inner city? I was thinking urban, and I was thinking Mississippi for Brandon. Nice. That is the blackest city in America. You nailed it. You nailed that. Yeah, you nailed that. I think, yeah, I don't know.

Do they need hills? Do they need more hills or an indoor facility that's really cold? That's crazy. That's a win. There's 17 in the whole world. In use for competition. Yeah, practice. How many do you cold? That's crazy. That's a win. There's 17 in the whole world. In use for competition. Yeah. Practice fields. How many do you think? There's not that many. There's only 32

football fields in use for competition in the NFL. That's actually a good point. Yeah. Lake Placid. Both in Utah? Lake Placid has one. That's where I did it. They hosted the Olympics. That's probably the only reason why I have one

what was the thing that happened in that Olympics the Lake Placid one that one was that was totally not memorable I feel like it'd be

more exciting to ride along with a professional bobsledder than it would to be with a professional NASCAR driver agreed I think I'd be more scared with the bobsledder for some reason yeah it'd be more exciting I did it at so I did it at Lake Placid be with a professional NASCAR driver. Agreed. I think I'd be more scared with the bobsledder for some reason.

Yeah, it'd be more exciting. I did it at Lake Placid with a professional dude, and it's over in four seconds. And you were scared the whole time? It was so fast. I think the one you did was over in four seconds. Most of them aren't over in four seconds. We weren't going over on the whole fucking... I think you just...

They just laid you down on a bobsled, and they moved you a little bit. You just went on a hill and you sledded and you're like, it was scary. You went, you were going so fast. It was an MRI that you were in. Yeah. I think you guys are jealous because you guys never bobsledded. A little jealous, but I think you're overstating what happened. What am I overstating? Well, if you were... We didn't

go bobsledding. You were six years old, right? You were in there for four seconds. I was in like second grade. I think they just put you in there and made you think you were bobsledding i really don't think that i think you went down a bobsled track we were it's like a guide like there's like a professional two professionals and you like sit in between those tracks are gigantic that nothing happens in that quick of a i mean i'm sure you can look it up i think it's still a thing that they believe in you wouldn him. He wouldn't lie about that. Oh, yeah. Didn't you get really injured? Yeah. I thought I broke my arm.

I landed, like, backwards on my arm. That was dangerous. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Who's that? That's Kyle. He's pretending to be hurt. Oh, really?. Who's that? That's Kyle. Yeah, that's Kyle. I mean, did you see the speed we were getting on that? He's pretending to be hurt.

Oh, really? Yeah, but I wasn't. You did a good job. I was worried about you. Yeah, I was fine. You were gasping for air. Where's Steven? Oh, is he sick or is he down?

He's in mourning. I think the Bucs losing made him get sick. Yeah. Because he did say to me before, he's like, I'm not going to be in tomorrow and Thursday because I'm feeling sick. It's like you can... But didn't he deny yesterday that he was sick? Also, you can't take two days off in advance of being sick.

Mm-mm. It really got him. Yeah. Poor bastard. Yeah, he's down. I feel bad for him. I don Poor bastard. Yeah, he's down. I feel bad for him. I don't. I do, actually.

That's what he wants. Literally all he has. Freaking pity merchant. He got a Super Bowl out of Tom Brady, though. I mean, he got what he wanted. He's the opposite of a pity merchant, honestly. That's why you do feel bad for him. Right.

Because he's a joy merchant. Yeah, pity merchant's too finer. I would never feel bad for her. No, he's a... Sympathy grifter. That's a good-ass phrase. There are people in the world like that who are just looking for sympathy.

Oh, this went wrong. Oh, this went wrong. My mental health and I'm not diminishing. No, mental health is fake. I agree. I side with you on that one let's just say it right now no one's ever had mental health problems yeah the harvard business review released yesterday like don't say positive vibes only say how you're really feeling no fuck that dude when i say positive vibes only it means that i'm down that's what harvard Business Review's talking about?

Yeah. How about have the social intellect to realize when I'm saying positive vibes only, it means I'm rock bottom. How about review a business? Yeah, that too. Bitch. Fuck the Harvard Business Review. KB, you got any hip flexor exercises for your boy?

No. You should get one of those things that you lay on to stretch your hip flexors. I'm trying to strengthen my shits, not even lengthen them. I'm trying to get powerful hip flexors.

You gotta get the, uh, what is it? What joint is it? AC joint? No. Maybe. That sounds good. I'd love to have some fucking powerful ass. Oh, what is that? Hip flexor, bro. There's cake in the break room.

For what? I don't know, but I had a couple slices to practice for the cake race. How do they go down? Oh, shit. Really smooth. What kind of cake is it? What? What?

Sheet cake. Brandon, regular. The good kind. I need to take home to your mama. Might have to miss this show that day to record with Pat Bev on the Thursday and then make it for the case. I figure we won't start until later.

Yeah, that's what I figure as well. I'm going to try and bang that out during the daytime and then be fucking ready to eat cake on Thursday. Oh, that's what I figure as well. So I'm going to try and bang that out during the daytime and then be fucking ready to eat cake on Thursday. Oh, we got to figure out teams. Next Thursday? Yeah. Also, today I had an urge.

I packed extra underwear and shorts. Oh. Because you have to fart? In case either that or wet. Kate, we decided yesterday that we're going to do teams of three instead of two because it was so much fun being like... Yes. Tank race, part of the fun was like being...

Squad. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. So three teams of three. Okay. Roan also admitted that your team cheated. Dumped out half the tank.

Lies. Roan is lying? Never. No, Roan wouldn't say such a thing. And I didn't say that. Did you pull that up? no yeah pull it up it's weird too because like if we're having the conversation about you cheating probably how'd that start i i didn't wake up at three in the morning able to visualize my headache and my heart pounding

yeah to be called a cheater sugar to be called a cheater exactly they just can't stand seeing us get a clean pair win with Steve and Che on our squad. Now, did we cut our straws after we weren't allowed to? Maybe. But so did they. You would never. No.

So did they. It's bullshit. But so did they. We would never. I don't know how we won, Kate. I don't know what did it, but at some point we just started pulling away like a fucking organ miler. You had a 6'8", 308-pound man. You don't know what did it, but at some point we just started pulling away like a fucking organ miler.

You had a 6'8", 308 pound man. You think that's who did it? I would assume. Our squad had heart. I left the billiards club or wherever we were at and I was waiting for my cab in the shadows and Taylor walked by

and I busted out of the shadows and I was like Taylor LeJuan! And then I didn't have anything to say to him shadows and Taylor walked by and I busted out of the shadows and I was like Taylor the one blah blah blah like after and then I didn't have anything to say to him and I was like that was weird and I walked backwards into the shadows for my cab and I'm getting nervous again just thinking about it what did he say he was like he was very nice he's like weird nice hanging out with you yeah oh it was only like 7 45 p.m you guys were teammates for like four hours yeah yeah it was a brutal thing to get said to i definitely scared the shot i came out of nowhere from behind it was like random what's this this new addition to your?

Well, Kate seems to have brought it. It's up there on the Georgia Tech shelf. Way smaller than I thought. I know. I stay here. So what is that, Kate? What? It's bobble titties?

Shake the shelf a little bit. That was pretty expensive, too. That's tiny. It was. I was shocked when i saw oh hell yeah wait yeah i yeah want that i give it a shake yeah oh yeah it was so it's like an inch tall like airplane very small like uh what do they feel? True to life? It's kind of a rule. It's just like assy tits.

What do you mean assy tits? Tits that look like an ass? Cheeky breasts. Cheeky breasts. Butt. What type of Robinson Crusoe shit are you on right now? She had cheeky breasts. Kyle, tits do look like butt.

No nipple. Who's the dude that got tied down by all the tiny people? Gulliver. Oh, is that Gulliver? Yeah, Gulliver. You're like some Gulliver shit. That's probably how Gulliver was with the host.

Gulliver was really big? I guess. No, I thought the people were small. The people small or Gulliver was big? No, Gulliver was... What the fuck is Gulliver? Gulliver's travels. Yeah, yeah. I don't really... I only the people were small. The people small or Gulliver was big? No, Gulliver was... What the fuck is... What are you guys... Gulliver's Travels. Yeah, yeah.

I don't really... I only know that it exists. I've never actually seen it, read it, or consumed it. Yeah, tied down? Yeah. All the little people. Yeah. They're throwing spears at him.

And he was picking them up... So was he a giant or were they tiny? I don't know. No, we only read the cover. Depends on who you ask. Did you get a haircut? No. That's why I'm wearing a hat.

You about to? Did you get a haircut? Yeah, I'm gonna. Nice. Solid. Birthday buzz cut? No. I thought about it, but no.

Miss the birthday buzz cut days? I do do too. All-time video. We're going to all do buzz cuts this year. I don't think I... I think you lose about 60 pounds to do a buzz cut. I think we're supposed to do goatees this week. Oh.

Shit. I could do a goatee for tomorrow. How are we picking these teams? Should we go wheels? So I think Steven and Shane are on the same team. Are we just starting from scratch? Yeah. Steven and Shane are on the same team.

Then Brandon's on their team because he's going to be the cake eater. So that's a team. And so we spend for the other two teams. Yeah. And one of the teams will get KB, who will also be a cake eater. Is that right? TJ, what do you want to do, TJ? Have you made your decision?

If you need bodies, I'll be in. If it makes the numbers even. If it doesn't, I'll sit up. Okay. So, KB, you want to do it, right? It is your birthday. Yeah. I think a designated cake eater could almost be an advantage.

Yeah. Or at least not a huge disadvantage. Is there a a designated cake eater could almost be an advantage. Yeah. Or at least not a huge disadvantage. Yeah. Is there a third designated cake eater? Well, I think that's what we have. So then should we spin and someone has to be a third designated cake eater? Someone can't drink? That's actually funny.

That's funny. God, that would suck. I would hate that. Oh, man, that would suck. Can you side booze? Can you drink on the side for pleasure? Just to help the cake? It would suck, but I kind of want to see how many cupcakes I could eat.

I think I could go fucking nuts. I do feel curious. It's one of those things you don't do unless you're forced to do it. Right. But I am curious. The numbers work out. I'll do it. Also, Zah should be back.

Zah's going to be back? He should be back Monday. Yes. Zaha, our boy. I miss Zaha. I miss Zaha a lot. I've been thinking about all the good times we had. All right, let me think about this real quick.

Numbers. Okay, so adding Shane, that's eight. How many calories are in one cupcake? Probably like 100 something. Yeah, like 100, I guess. I bet you more than that, right? Depends on the size. Is there too many calories?

Like, can you eat too many calories in a day? I've tried. I've tried. Look around the office. I've tried. Yes. Lead the charge. 131, okay.

Oh, fat. That's a low-fat cupcake. We ain't getting low-fat cupcakes. We ain't getting low-fat cupcakes. No, no, no, no, no. High-fat. Full-fat. Full-fat.

Extra-fat. I want delicious cupcakes. Different flavors, too. With icing. Yeah. Chocolate and vanilla? But I don't want gourmet, though. You don't want gourmet?

You don't want some red velvet? I think I want from a box. I want with cake batter. I don't want it with a fucking thick batter. I don't know. I want it to be... I think we probably got to test them. Feel like the grocery store.

Who's baking them? Are we cropping them? I'm going to buy them, right? Let's call them. I'm going to pick them up. From where? I got to figure that out. Maybe I should order some right now that we should try.

Because the icing could make or break this. If it's like that fluff, cool, whippy kind of like acme icing, that would be too easy, I feel like. No, that's what I want it to be. Oh, you do? Acme icing. I feel like it's too easy. I don't know nothing about that Gennardi's icing.

Ugh. But if it's full fudge, that's tough. That's tough. Never go full fudge. No. All right, so should we spin for the six of us? Yeah. And I think, yeah, I guess it doesn't really matter

if you don't have to have a designated cake eater. Yeah, I agree. That's what I'm saying. You don't think you need one. Eating them, yeah. It's KB and Brandon. Brandon, you could potentially drink if you wanted to. Correct, yeah.

And so this is the numbers, though. We're not adding anybody other than one person in here. Oh, shit, I forgot about Will. We don't have enough mics, right? Is that right, TJ? Yeah, we're maxed out. No kind of splitter or anything that we could do? And we're doing, what, 30 beers now instead?

Or should we just still do 12 each? No, we should do 36. 36? 36? That's not a case race anymore. That's a case. They sell 36s?

They sell 36s? Yeah. If it comes to the case. I've never seen a 36. What beer are we allowed to say or no? No. Okay. Just a light beer.

36. We're getting IPAs, whatever team I'm on. So if it's teams of three, one team is Shane, Che, and Brandon. So then one, two, three. How do you think that's going to go? They're going to win. Is Shane going to just dominate again? Is he going to try to go as far as he said that he's going to try to fight him?

No, they're going to go hard. They're going to win. Because he was great on our team, Che. He really put in the work. He's a great teammate. Yeah. I feel like that's a powerhouse team. And Brandon with the cupcakes.

Shane told me that he's going to go harder on this one. Really? He did. That would be funny. I would actually respect that. Yeah. If he came and drank even faster and was even more of a dick. Yeah.

And was like, why does this keep happening to me? I think he said he wasn't going to be a dick, but he said he was going to drink more. All right. Are we going with the full face paint gimmick again? That's a case. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

It's not a gimmick. Are we taking PEDs? Because I know that half of these motherfuckers have took PEDs. And I didn't realize that we were doing Tour de France style. I didn't know that we were going to. That would even help. How would that help?

Trust me. I don't get drunk when I take Adderall. You just don't get drunk. And you don't feel You get drunk but you don't get drunk. There's no chance

that's true. You can drink for 40 hours straight on Adderall. Drinking on Adderall is a massive cheat code. It is a massive cheat code. Massive.

Really? I won't say who did it but I guess a side effect was it shrinks your penis. Drink it on Adderall is a massive cheat code. It is a massive cheat code. Massive. Really? Yeah. I won't say who did it, but I guess a side effect was it shrinks your penis. I think more than- Yeah, Will was on it, right? Yeah, dude. I think that actually might- He cracked the code.

Oh, man. I think that actually might help us not be dumb on Act of Fool. You got Adderall? You can keep your composure better. You can't eat. Maybe that's what's in some of the cupcakes. Maybe you get lucky and get the Adderall cupcake. It takes like 100 milligrams.

Wait. I'm going to win this, whatever team I'm on. No, you're not. Just think about it. It's easier eating eight cupcakes or four beers and four cupcakes. You don't have to get

12. I don't think you could do eight cupcakes. What about, let's do a lesser number. Two cupcakes and two beers or four cupcakes? Well, could you do faster and easier? Four cupcakes. Two beers and two cupcakes. Yes, four cupcakes. Two beers, two cupcakes. No, I think it's four cupcakes. There's got to be a spot. Four cupcakes. Two beers and two cupcakes. Yes, four cupcakes. Two beers, two cupcakes. Yeah. No, I think it's four cupcakes. No.

There's got to be a spot. Four cupcakes is easier than two beers and two cups. All right, I'm on KB's team. I want to be on KB's team. There's a certain amount of beers that wouldn't be. Drinking the beer will slow you down. But there's got to be a point of where you can't eat any more cupcakes. I don't think there is.

I think we have to test it to see how fair or unfair or whatever it is. Do you want to go get cupcakes right now? Two cupcakes, two beers, and then four cupcakes from me. I would eat the shit out of a cupcake right now. I'll tell you that much. Let's face off. Okay. How about why don't you just go get a slice of cake from the kitchen?

That's the same consistency as cupcake, or you want it to be a cupped cake. That's apples and oranges. You can't. You've got to do cupcakes. All right, so you guys, I'll buy four cupcakes for each of you? Okay. So what is that? Wait, wait.

Two for me. It's two for Kate. No, I think you guys. Oh, you're going to do two beers as well. All right. Yeah. Are you down to have two beers right now too? Yeah.

I also think this is for science. It's for science. Does this work? Two more beers because you've had a couple. Time-wise, you're going to win for sure. But I think also you're going to get to a point where you slow down massively. But I think the beer would just kind of be in synchrony with that. No, because you pee out the beer.

I don't know. I think it fills your tummy up. You're getting drunker, fuller. I would say I think I would. When I drink, I can eat a lot. Yeah. I think I could beat the normal person with two beers, two cupcakes, but I feel like you're going to attack the cupcakes

with a quickness and veracity that will be shocking. My biggest meals are when I'm drunk. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's also not cake. Sometimes. Cake is so damn good, dude.

It's so fucking good. I'm going to have the time of my life during this fucking race. So good. Six beers, six slices of cake, and I'm just going to be happy as a pig and shit no you up the amount i bet i will you'll be miserable i bet i will be happy i'm gonna have 10 beers and six pieces i don't i think i might have one cupcake like 10 beers two cupcakes is what i'm gonna try which i do four think about it when people do like the nine innings, nine beers, nine hot dogs, they can barely finish. Yeah.

And they get a whole inning to do both. That's a good point. But six beers, six hot dogs. Wait, that's because of hot dogs. Hot dogs. I'm thinking the cake will have a similar effect as a hot dog. Yeah. Right, the cake's going to be harder.

Or caloric. Yeah, I think it'll be worse. Now I'm confused. Now I've lost it. What side are you on? I'm saying it's going to be very hard to drink beer and eat cupcakes. I bet you a lot of people have nine beers at a baseball. Just eating nine hot dogs would make you very – it would be hard.

It's a lot easier to drink nine beers than it is to eat nine hot dogs. Also, wait, wait, whoa. How many cupcakes do we have to eat total? That's one. There is no limit. How many cupcakes do we have to eat total? That's one. There is no limit. There's no minus one. It's just whoever can get to 36 total. We are all starting off with one cupcake that doesn't count due to the celebration.

We did say that. We said one cupcake that doesn't count. That is the birthday cupcake. We sing. We're joyous. There are no teams. You think you could eat nine hot dogs? You think it would be easier to eat nine hot dogs

or drink nine beers? I think it's way easier to drink nine beers. In the same time period? Yeah. It sounds like a different race. It sounds like a head-to-head. It sounds like an undercard. Your nine beers against his nine hot dogs?

I probably wouldn't or couldn't do either. Food challenges always to me, they always go the same, where it's like you think you can eat a lot, and then you get like four or five in, and you're like, this sucks. It's way less than you think. But what I'm saying is adding beer to the mix, do you think that will make it better or worse? I think people will puke more, which will be funnier.

Okay. Yeah. No, I get what you're saying. Like the combo of cupcakes, beer is a dangerous one. You're right about that. What I'm saying is I just don't want to have a crazy advantage and then like by the time if we win. I don't think you will. Okay.

Yeah. I think if you – because if you're only eating cupcakes, I think it's just as hard to eat 12 cupcakes as it is to drink 12 beers. Also, I don't think it's a crazy advantage because you don't have to drink any beers. No one has to drink it. Everyone could just eat cupcakes. I actually think that it's easier to drink 12 beers than eat 12 cupcakes. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, I think you'd get full and it would feel terrible.

Maybe I'm way wrong. Let's test. I just got 16 Yeah. I think you'd get full and it would feel... Terrible. Maybe I'm way wrong. Let's test. I just got 16 cupcakes. Oh, hell yeah. Good ones too. How are we picking teams? This has me fucking champing at the bit. For the sake of numbers, if there's a team of three already, I'll sit out and then me

and Zala just enjoy ourselves. Yeah, why don't you do that? Yeah, you guys... Because the problem is with the mics, it gets confusing. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Plus, keep the show on the rails this time. Yeah, maybe you and Zahn, whoever else is helping out, can just have your own side three team where you participate on the side.

Wait, are we doing this? Yeah, we're picking. I'm going to go get two beers because I don't want them super cold. Yeah. I'm going to go get them out now. Just put them in cups. Yeah, I will. I like that this is science.

Yeah. What should the physical challenge be? Do you have cupcakes here? I just ordered them. Okay. The physical challenge should be. You should get an easy bake oven and people have to bake cupcakes. I was thinking at a certain point you have to get a Jenga tower to a certain amount of levels.

Ooh. With your team. I like that. I could bring in my son's magnet tiles. I don't know what that is. You don't know magnet tiles? I've never heard of that. Yeah.

Google magnet tiles. You know. I don't know. They are what their title is. They're magnetic tiles? Yeah. It is one of those. There's very few things.

Obviously, iPads and all that you wish you had as a kid. Magnet tiles are one of the things that I really wish I had as a kid. They're fun. They're just cooler Legos, kind of. See? Yeah. This guy's already smiling and hasn't even started. Oh, yeah, this is awesome. Yeah. This guy's already smiling and hasn't even started. Oh, yeah, this is awesome.

Yeah. I would say I spend about 10 hours a week doing exactly this. What if we had to make, like, some type of sculpture with the magnet tiles and had TJ and Zaz, like, judges of the two sculptures or something, and that reduced maybe a beer or a cupcake or some kind of shit. The problem with that is I do have an unfair advantage. You have the experience of the magnetiles.

We're not doing magnetiles. I am a certified magnetile architect. And then my son just knocks them all down. What if we all have a Lego set we have to complete? That would be funny. I thought Kyle was out on Legos. I thought we were out on Legos, have to complete? That would be funny. I thought Kyle was out on Legos. I thought we were out on Legos now. That would actually be very funny.

Legos? Legos. All you do is follow the instructions and you have to... Oh, he's out on puzzles. Okay, yeah, Legos. Oh, I know. We all have a Lego set. EJ and Zal will come in and see if we build them correctly.

If we all have the same Lego set. Yeah. Nick's going to have an advantage. Why would I have an advantage? This is shit you like to do. I've never had Legos in my life. You haven't? No, I asked for them every year for Christmas.

Never did. You're good at them, Seth? Great at Legos. Really? Oh, yeah. How'd you get so damn good? I was building Legos when I was like 18. I was building Star Wars ships.

What do you do when you're done? Put them in your... Play with it. Smash it. Yeah, do you play with... I never understood what you do when you're done? Put them in your... Play with it. Smash it? Yeah, do you play with... I never understood what you did when you're done. No, you just put them on display. Look at it.

No, if you're a kid, you play with it. Like, if you build a ship or a... Never had them. ...lease car, you then play with it. Yeah, but these adult Lego sets now that you can build the Batmobile or the Millennium Falcon, nobody's playing with those.

Legos would be fucking sweet. Like a Big Ben versus Eiffel Tower. Oh. It would also be sweet to get some a Big Ben versus Eiffel Tower. Oh. It would also be sweet to get some kind of Hot Wheels car just because those zoom around. You know what I mean? Make them big ass Hot Wheels like track. Yeah. Maybe a race.

Marble races, always fun. Those are good physical. Those aren't really physical though. How long does it take to build a Lego thing? It depends on the size. There's different levels. I determined a fantasy football draft order by everybody racing with Legos. It was about 35 minutes, but it was like an

80-piece set. It was like four years and under Legos. 35 minutes I feel like would be an appropriate amount of time. When you're drunk, too? You don't start until you're drunk? I think there has to be like you could start when you get to 15 tallies of cake or beer.

We can build, like, a case, and, like, halfway through the case will be the Lego set. So once you get to certain number of beers. Because that could be a good equalizer. Yeah, right, exactly. You can build your Legos. Yeah, when you're halfway through the beers or whatever. I say we get a harder Lego set, then. The teams are working on the same one.

There's a Lego store on 5th Ave. We could just go get three of the same Lego sets while you guys are racing on an equal playing field. Hey, you said I need to make sure the beers are super cold. I said not super cold. Oh, okay. I thought you said super cold. Why would you pour them right now?

That makes sense. No, it's tough to chug. I have a hard time chugging icy cold beers. There's beers and football, baby. No, it's tough to chug. I have a hard time chugging icy cold beers. Also. It's beers and football, baby. There are certain days, ever since my college days, where, you know, the part starts to be like, oh, I can chug today. Like, I got it going on. And then other days where you take two sips and I'm like, I can't drink this at all.

And so I hope I'm having, not today, but next week I hope I'm having like a good. So is it next Thursday? You can always tell by the first drink. Yeah, you really can. You're like, this is either working or not. I guess it's early enough in the day, but how many days in a row do you think you can show up at home when the bee's like, I smell alcohol on your breath, or he starts asking... Is that you, or is that me?

It's for a work okay that's what actually on Friday I waited I ended up staying out until after his bedtime

I was like I'm just not gonna go home yeah that's smart until he's down today that's very smart yeah there's also just gonna be there's gonna be

challenge cupcakes oh we forgot about that this is so much fun so I think it's gonna be depending on how many cupcakes we decide that we should get, like 12 total, six good, six bad. Some will be like, do this to keep drinking. Some will be take away two beers. Some will be add two beers.

Yeah. We'll figure it out so it's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Hey, Roan, a question outside of the planning of this. Yes, brother. Were you a little intimidated the fact that LeBron listens to your podcast? That is crazy.

Like, what is that? Does it kind of fuck you up a little bit? Pat Bev, he told me off air that LeBron said in, like, 2015 that me and him were going to have a podcast together. I called it. I called it back in the day. I'm sure he just sees the clips. No, come on.

You think he's a downloader? I think he's a subscriber. People should subscribe to this show, honestly. Yeah, they should. Almost 110, by the way. We need to start doing a push for subscribers. And if people like it during the video, it will get the video

out there. So I think that people should like if they think that Kate can dust Kyle in this competition or comment if they think that Kyle can. Some shit like that. We need to manipulate these motherfuckers into fucking getting the algorithm into a tornado. Please do like it. If you're

one of the chat, shout out the chat. Every time you just watch the act, just like that. We'll be better about reminding you. We'll actually remind you. I like the size we are. I say we chill. No, that's some anus shit. Sabotage a fucking advertiser.

Make sure we're never, yeah. We got a nice boyfriend size following. We got a real nice boyfriend. It's like the perfect. Yes, you can stick with it. You can see yourself with it for a long time. A lot of veins though. Yeah, it's like in school always getting like a B and being like, well, I didn't really study.

I'm happy with the plateau. I don't want any more attention towards ourselves. If you never put yourself out there, you can't fail. It's huge. I was never even trying. We will get, like we haven't been talking about it Because it's like 108 who cares But we're going to have to 120, 125

We're going to have to do another case race We're going to have to do the 12 hour react There's like two guys out there We should actually Can you do this for tomorrow TJ Can you track down Like one of these guys Who constantly is like What what are they doing?

They promise us this. What's the point of even... Someone who takes the wheel very, very seriously. I'd love to talk to them on the phone. Let's get their IP address. I just got a DM as we were speaking saying, you suck. You're on your phone on the act too much. How'd you see that?

We have auditors. I was on my phone. You fucking suck. You just owned yourself, bro. You fucking suck. You skipped Pick Central today for no reason, and then you just sit and text on your phone during the Yak. I wasn't texting. I was looking up something.

The price of Chick-fil-A. Has the price of Chick-fil-A changed today? Yeah, the inflation. Hey, price, God damn it. Oh, damn, a nugget's 68 cents today? No, Brandon. I'm never going to worry about the price of Chick-fil-A nuggets. Imagine Brandon being like a Wall Street trader that's just Chick-fil-A.

He's just on the floor doing the numbers. He's just buying. Yeah, just buy Just buy buy buy It's a bull market And then every Sunday he's confused where all his money went Oh no I mean that was the start of DDTG Which I think is coming back

When Glennie said Buy Shake Shack during lunch time Oh yeah He's fucking smart DDTG is coming back hey he put out a video yesterday seemed like it was what yeah seems like dave's getting back in the market he also tweeted the the wake up mincey uh logo what is that um it's his new show when's it come out who knows i thought it didn't come out at like uh noon central it's daily i think yeah i think it was

like 11 a.m or something wake up mincy and uh the one thing i noticed was that yeah it is sponsored by stella blue and i remember i actually was like wait why did he do that and then there was an awkward conversation we had where he was i was going upstairs and he was like kind of lingering right there and he's like do you mind if Stella Blue's sponsors wake up Mincy? I was like, yeah, well, I mean, it's a barstool company, but I have a feeling this is going to backfire on me. No. How would it?

I don't know. I think maybe he's – You think he could hurt the value of your coffee? No, no, he won't hurt it. He'll help. Actually, it won't backfire on me. I'll just become responsible. I think Mincy's weekly reports to Dave will have still blue marketing prominence.

So he's now attached to you. He has a sold show on the list. Is that what the show is? Him updating Dave each week? No. That would be funny. That actually would be a genius show. I don't know if Mincy's...

I think that's just like he'll tweet that when he wakes up. Right. Tweet up Mincy. But it would be funny if Mincy did a live show just explaining everything he did that week. Yeah. And then if the show was the only thing he did, that's the show. Yeah. Hey, what's up, fellas?

Always feeds himself. Always has something to talk about. This week, I did this show. We'll see you next week. Thank you to Stella Blue. He's going to give away coffee beans for life to a barbecue spot down there. Yeah.

No, I do appreciate him pumping Stella Blue, especially if it's a wake-up show. That makes perfect sense. Is there coffee rubbed barbecue anywhere oh yeah there is so uh my experience a wake-up show is not gonna work though what is it gambling pics you guys yeah I don't know

what it's gonna be like what is it I thought it was gambling it is this is gambling pics okay The morning slate. It would be great if he did the picks like he did the show while he was doing his workouts with, I'm blanking on her name. Does anybody know her name? Speed Demon. Was it Erica? No.

It was a mid-action gambling show. So we can watch the full workout and get our picks at the same time. Fuck, what was her? Was it Erica? We tagged her in a post yesterday. Veronica? I've started letting speed demons out just randomly. Veronica's a good name.

I was at the park yesterday running. Monica Charlton. Yeah, a little speed demon. Mackenzie's sister owns a little bakery. She made coffee chocolate chip cookies. They were awesome. Ooh. She sent them to me.

What's her name? Monica Charlton. Monica? Yeah. They were awesome. She sent them to me. What's her name? Monica Charlton. Monica? Monica Charlton. Whoa, he's getting faster. Wait, is there... Speed demon, two feet in each. Go for it.

One, two, one, two, one, two. You got it. That's cool. You got it. Great voice. Uh-oh. You got it. Great voice. Uh-oh. Yep. Rest.

We'll try one more time. He's getting faster. Here we go, Speed Demon. Two feet in each. Go for it. Beautiful park. One, two, one, two, one, two. I like that kind of tree.

You got it. That's cool. Low bow. Got it. Let's sit on that tree. I had a baseball trainer that would make me do hours of rigorous ladder exercises

I can't hit a curveball at all this ain't doing shit by the way you know what clip didn't get talked about enough Stephen Che and Megan Making Money 2005 clip from pick central was incredible can you play that oh my god it was maybe the most it was the essence of stephen chay the most pure stephen chay there's ever ever stephen chay i was like laughing so hard when i watched i don't know

how i missed i don't know where megan's from right uh mississippi new orleans it'd be gulf coast in new orleans yes it was so fucking funny and so fucking Stephen Che it's why like as much as he bothers me I just can't I can't get rid of him I don't even know where it was TJ it might be hard to find I didn't know it went out I think it was on what was it Graham so it was on pick central you got to watch it we got to watch it we got to find it we got to watch it I want to say it was on Pick Central. You got to watch it. We got to watch it. We got to find it. We got to watch it. I want to say it was Instagram. Let me see if I can find it for you, TJ. What, this weekend?

No, it was last week. We were just talking. Stephen Chay was on the show, and Megan, obviously, was on the show. And the subject of 2005 came up. Don't. Yeah, that's enough. Oh, it's the first thing on Pick Central. We're all going to share our favorite year 2005 memories.

No, no, no. Not that one. Not that one. Not that one. Yeah, that might have been the second one. It's the first video on Pick Central Instagram right now. I love making making money. She's a delight. Yeah, she's good.

Yes. She's good. What was that? She's good. What was that? She's good. That second one was a little wild. That second one was weird as fuck. Nobody was talking, and it just left me hanging out there. Yeah, she's good.

Nobody said anything after the first one. She's good. Yeah, here we go. I didn't do it. Remind me. I wanted to do it today with you. It's Sporkle, do it today with you. It's Sporkle and it's the top

all the players rated above 95 in Madden 05. That's my best year. So we're going to do that later. Not a great year for me. Megan, the game of Madden 2005 actually came out in 2004. I'm just saying

not a great year. The 2004- 2005 just wasn't a great year for me, you know? No, I wouldn't imagine it was. 2005. Hitstick was invented, so it was a great year for everyone, I would think. My house got my house, yeah, got destroyed. 2005 probably

ruined her life and maybe even killed some people that she was supposed to, but go ahead about the Hitstick. I mean, it's the greatest invention. Yeah, that hit stick. Oh my god. That's so Stephen Cheney. Hit stick was invented so it matches a great year for everyone.

So that right there is why I can't get enough. I think even now, if he thought about 2005, hit stick's still more important than Hurricane Katrina. That wasn't an anomaly. Yeah, Hurricane Katrina was bad, but... At least, yeah, you were inside. You could be playing...

Hit stick. It's the greatest invention ever. Him singing the Burger King song while he was really... You guys probably talked about it yesterday. Yeah, he can't... I sing that song like 70 times a day. It's always stuck in my head.

It's the worst. So bad. He did such a good job with it. I know. Whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper. I do not let advertisements get stuck in my head. Advertisements don't work.

How do you not do that? It's impossible to not let that one get in your head. I don't. Especially the part like the, uh, BK. That part is always stuck in my head. Why? Like in 2006, you weren't singing the Chili's Baby Back Rib song? Look, he's down 24-0. That's the real price, BK.

Have it your way. You rule. Oh, KB. KB believes advertisements don't work. Yeah, I'm almost with him on that. I think, yeah, food advertising maybe. Drink advertising works. Like a high noon.

Yes. Yeah, because brought to you by high noon. Hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka and not with malt like other hard seltzers. Don't be drinking malt. Don't drink that in your hard seltzers. Oh, gosh, no. Well, you could just tell when there's malt in it, and you could tell when there's not.

Yeah, real vodka. I knew there's not. Yeah, real juice for real fans just like us. Head over to your local liquor store and get some today. Favorite flavors? Peach. I wonder what Tommy's favorite flavor is. I might become a watermelon guy.

Tommy! Tommy! Oh, him. Ah, he's gone. Fuck him. Fuck him. No, seriously, fuck him. Head over to the liquor store today.

Get some high noons, high noon sun sips. They are delicious. They're not just for the summer either. I will say this. When you go to a bar and you're like, hey, I want some high noons, you just know you're going to have a good night. Know you're going to have a good night. Five or six high noons at the bar.

It's the best when you go to a bar and it's like fully stocked with all the flavors. Like on peach. I actually, when we were in New Orleans, we were drinking high noons for the final four. I pulled a power move because it was one of those bars you show up to and there's like maybe one bartender working. I just bought straight from the bar. I just bought three cases of it and just brought it to the table. Wow. That feels good.

Just give me three cases. I just sat there with my high noons and everyone else. Yeah. And if you buy in bulk, you don't have to tip. That's true. I did not. I actually didn't even pay. That's the power move. Theft. Tommy's the enemy.. Yeah. Theft. That's genius. Theft.

Tommy's the enemy, bro. Scoville? Smokes. Giants. Is he Giants fed? Yeah, he's a... I'm so excited for Saturday. He's a loser, bro. I'm going to eat so much ice cream.

Yeah, I'm having such a fucking classic Saturday. Yeah. I eat three meals of junk food, snacks galore in between, and alcoholic beverage to responsibility at evening. Just some good bets, just a full day of football, invite only. Yeah, going to be just war. Broken. I could never tell you, bro.

Oh, I told Frank. I had to break it to Frank. Frank just outfitted me so hard on Monday night. I was like, hey, Frank, just so you know, the deal is on Saturday we're going to do the stream. But because we counted and there's like 12 to 13 Eagles Giants fans. So the room only fits about 12 people. I was like, Frank, come for the Chiefs Jaguars game. Then I already talked to Doug's.

You guys are going to sit out for the night game And then we'll stream on Sunday as well But because we have so many people Like the Giants-Eagles And he didn't even respond He just looked at me and goes How's that? I think I just got out

But I think there's nothing I can do We'll see I understand the plan you said, but I don't agree. I'll watch where I'm watching. Yeah. I sat next to Frank as the New Jersey transit system crumbled this morning, and we were sitting next to each other, and I took a video of his reaction. He was doing a reaction on his own phone, but I took a video of it,

and there was a girl or a lady behind him that was staring at him, taking it all in, and she couldn't process what was happening. Fleming in the wild? Yeah. It was something. How bad was the transit? It delayed about 15 minutes. That's not bad. It didn't take long. Did he say it was bad?

Our train usually comes at 1041 by 1043 he was yelling. It was hot. Yeah. How long does it take from 10 minutes? Our train usually comes at 1041. By 1043, he was yelling. It was hot. Yeah. How long does it take from? 10 minutes. The train only takes 10 minutes?

From Secaucus, yeah. If you get my wheel slice, you'll find out for yourself. I guess so. What? From Secaucus. I drive to Secaucus every day and then get on a train and come here. How long does it take to get to Secaucus? It's about a 25-minute ride for me from my house. Jesus Christ, bro. Wrong with that? How much did you park? That's a nice little commute. How long does it take to get to Secaucus? It's about a 25 minute ride for me, for my house. Jesus Christ, bro.

Wrong with that? How much do you park? That's a nice little commute. That's not bad. Get your ass kicked by this commute. 30 bucks a day. Yeah.

That shit sounds terrible. 30 bucks a day? Yeah. You spend 30 bucks a day to park? I do. When I drive in, it's less.

No, where do you park? Across the street. If you get in before nine, it's 20 bucks. Hmm. Hmm. I only drive in when I know that I can get in before 9. Brandon, do you spend like $100 a day?

No, because, well, yeah, I do. At least Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A, parking, so that's probably $60. Well, I don't drive. I don't park every day. I don't park every day. Monthly train pass. Lots of shoes, zip- ups. Quarter zips.

Well, I mean, that's just standard stuff that we buy to live, right? Precious. Makeup. Stones. Makeup. All right, TJ. Concealer. Pampons. Probably spend well over $100.

Sunblock every day. Man, yeah, I don't think about it. Indoor sunblock. Everybody that lives in New York spends a lot of money. I don't think $100 is crazy. I don't spend $100 a day. $100 feels right. I mean, it in New York oh way crazy I don't spend a hundred dollars a day a hundred feels right I mean it's New York City if you if you eat three meals in New York City I guess you want to count your groceries train I've spent today nine twelve dollars I spent six

dollars today so far but nothing's happened yet. You haven't eaten lunch? Yes, I have. Okay. Brought it from home. Okay, well, that's cheating a little bit. Bam! Usually don't do that.

You just started doing that? No, I've been for the past... Always doing it. Three weeks? Three years he's been doing that. Three years, past three years. We used to go to lunch. That's right.

That's right. Now we don't. I know. When he got tight. When he got tight. got tight yeah the parking sucks but if you drive in every day it's for me it'd be 20 bucks a day to get on the george washington bridge yeah true i used to take i used to uber every single day to work you're like where's all my money going to Hell's Kitchen? Yeah. Would you Uber back? No, I'd walk back usually.

Then I started taking the subway and I was like, this takes literally two minutes. Yeah. Subway is pretty efficient. Yeah. My commute is three minutes from my apartment to the office. Taking an Uber up that road is insane. It's just because you're just going straight up one road. I time it every time.

I time how much I spend on a stoplight, how much I spend in movement. You lose your mind? I spend more than 50% of the trip stopped. And then more of that going very slowly. I don't know if they're still doing it, but did you see they're going to cut the island in half and put tolls across it?

And so anytime you leave Midtown and head further south, you have to pay tolls to go drive around South Manhattan. How are they going to cut the island in half? In half? I don't know. Metaphorically. With a Berlin Wall, probably. Oh, cupcakes.

Oh, hell yeah. Every cupcake looks like that. Oh, no, these are going to be heavy. They're going to be 10 pounds each. They're going to be made of tungsten. I'm unbuttoning my top button because I'm wearing really high mom jeans. Maybe I'm not, but I should. Where's he going?

Is he going to the bathroom? This has been a yawny-ass show. I don't know. It's one of those weird weeks where you're like, what day is it again? What's going on? Good God. I have a baby shower to go to after this. Oh, yeah?

Am I? Women only or? No. Men are invited? Anybody. Anything goes. Really? Brandon, I didn't realize you were expecting.

Why? Because you said last year that you were going to have a baby. I said I would impregnate my wife by the end of 2022, and you don't know that I haven't. Have you? What the fuck? You heard it here first. You don't know that I didn't.

Have you? No. Dude, those pregnant titties are going to be insane. I will not be able to contain myself. Oh, yeah. Like that. Boing. If you know what I mean.

Good God. Taylor. They're still going. Yeah. Is that the only reason? You don't even want a kid. You just want those things to grow. It is a good bonus.

I will say in the moment they really go off, but a few months afterwards they really truly fall apart in ways that I was not prepared for. It's shocking. I actually want to say, unfortunately, I don't like these cupcakes. They're too chalky heavy? Oh, yeah. The frosting is not enough frosting. Enough frosting.

Oh, that's gross. Frosting is gross. Oh, you're right. What the hell is that? Oh, you're right. It's just on the top. That's dainty. Marty watches hair.

That's not a good ratio. That is not a cupcake. Oh, that's troublesome. Oh, did we all get one? Yeah, I got them for everyone. So I think there's different kinds there if you want different kinds. I got a pink one. I think the banana, there's banana this row.

The row closest to banana. Hell yeah. That one in the top right corner. We're definitely getting more frosting on our cupcakes for this race. Yeah, you have to. This is less of a competition, more of just a test. Yeah. It's also you're competing.

Okay. Anybody else want a cupcake? Adam? I mean, of course. Okay. Chocolate, vanilla? Vanilla. So they're doing the testing, right?

I can just eat. I'm unbuttoning my pants. Yeah. Fuck. These are very corn muffins. That's too small of a cupcake. I had a giant sandwich right before this. I mean, the actual cake size is not bad.

I want it a little lighter, too. See, here's the issue. I think the first two beers are virtually nothing. You can chug those. She should have these first two and then have two more. This test would be more valid with a larger size. Well, no, but it's also partially the test is to see how you feel after four cupcakes.

Okay. Yeah, we'll compare how we feel. Yeah. Brandon, how are they? Alright, ready? No. It might be actually perfect. It's not a race. Oh, God. See, I chose the banana ones. They're so much thicker then. Taking it apart. What are you doing to your cupcake?

He's made a sandwich. Sandwich. Interesting. Hold on. Okay, then. Elite technique. Do you always do that? Yeah.

Me too. You want a sandwich? Why don't you eat the cupcake the way God intended? Yeah, I don't think that's going to do anything. All right, ready? Yeah. Set. Go.

Oh, KP just fucking devoured that These might be perfect Yeah I think they're perfect Yeah Damn Kate Kate's on fucking Oh Jesus She's crying though

Is this a race? Yeah. It's a test race. Well, it's also a race. We need to see how KB feels after four cupcakes. Scientifically. Right. If he feels like he could eat eight more easily,

those look like they're going down. Kate's already got the Al Bundy stance over here. Yeah, Kate's going to work. She looks like the guy outside the Popeyes. Yeah, Popeyes timeout. Looks like Lyndon Johnson taking a shit. Yeah, you know what? I was thinking the same thing.

Isn't that exactly what she looks like? Oh, look at this. Picture in picture. She's like, and while Kyle drinks, Kate would be drinking and making progress. Huh? That is true. Yeah, that's true. Picture in picture. She's looking. While Kyle drinks, Kate would be drinking and making progress. Huh? That is true. Yeah, that's true. That's a very good point.

Okay, she can't chug the second beer. So they're tied right now. Kyle's actually in the lead right now. Yeah, Kyle's on three, right? Kate's got her hands on her knees. Always a bad sign. Oh, he's about to be on four. But he's just stuffing his mouth.

Yeah, that's going to take a long time to get down. How about the water? Holy shit. Okay, to chug. To tie this thing up. Then it would just be cupcake to cupcake. But Kyle already starting his last cupcake. Oh, just can't do it.

Okay, hitting a wall. By the way, this is not a light beer. Not a light beer. And that might be Emner. He's still got another bite. Okay.

Yeah. But there's no weight. So how many more do you think he could eat? KB At least eight more There's no doubt he could Okay, so Over the course of like Oh, Kate, oh god

Alright, so I think what we should do Throw up Yeah Throw up on the beat Oh my god, I have to throw up It's the foam It's, my God. I am going to throw up. It's the foam. It's the foam. Yeah.

Kyle's had such a sweet tooth. Pretty unaffected. He just conned us. Oh, no. But I'm sure as I kept going, it would be very worse. Oh, no. Right there. Throw up right there.

Throw up right here. This is going to be really bad if you throw up and you had two beers and one cupcake. Oh, no. Jesus. A very terrible rock. Yeah. A very terrible rock. You made a boulder in your stomach.

Oh, man. I'm having trouble talking. Worst thing that you ever had in that area? This is going to be the worst event. What's going on? Okay, so I actually think I have a fix. I feel no different.

So, Kyle, would you be open to drinking non-alcoholic beer? I just fucked myself over with this. What? It was too easy. Not what I wanted to happen. Oh, it's just I think whatever team Kyle is on has an advantage. They just got a stud.

Well, I ask about the non-alcoholic beer because I think it would be funny if we said, maybe let's say the total number is 40, but every participant has to have at least six beers, six cupcakes. What? And how you divide the rest is up to you. That would be very funny. I was planning on six beers, six cupcakes. I'd rather just have 12 cupcakes. Right, but wouldn't it be funny if we all had to do

a certain level of beer cupcake? You're paying. About five and five. Okay, is this the cupcakes? I don't know if it's because I chugged and then had a cupcake but after the first chug and the first cupcake

like I feel like I'm not like oh I could drink but like I feel like I can drink it immediately felt like a cement ball

yeah so I think we need to replicate that feeling for everyone you guys are gonna have to replicate that feeling for everyone. You guys are going to have to do that. But time out. Can I say something? I'm telling you right now,

I don't think I could go beyond that. Yeah, so that was a good test. You guys are fucked. No, I think that's their ways. You guys are fucked. I think they're strategy. Oh, you had four. You'd have to have how many more?

Eight more. She did two beers, two cupcakes, and she's in pain and almost dying. Useless. You guys have to do way more than that. I'm just saying you guys are going to be miserable. Beer guys and cupcake guys. I think we should just stick to the original plan of divide it how you want.

Everyone has to have one cupcake. Yeah. Start. I'm telling you, I feel like we'd start and we'd be like, we can't do this. I think the back and forth is what fucked you I think that if you went six beers off the rip and then six cupcakes or six cupcakes off the rip and then six beers

I think that'd be way more but I think the strategy of having a finite amount of cupcakes every team has to finish would make it interesting why doesn't Kyle just have another liquid or you could have every team could have a designated cupcake Why doesn't Kyle just have another liquid? Or you could have a designated cupcake. What if every team has to drink?

Wait a second. It's fair. If somebody wants to eat only cupcakes. Right. It is. It is. It is. It is fair. You can divide it up however you want.

I think there should be a rule of how many a cup. Each team, maybe it's 24 beers and 12 cupcakes. Each team, you can divide it up however you want. I think there should be a rule of how many... Each team, maybe it's 24 beers and 12 cupcakes. Each team, you can divide it up however you want, but your team has to finish 24 beers and 12 cupcakes. I hate that. Oh, my God. Then it does add a little element of, like, can someone eat 12 cupcakes?

I want Kyle to have some carbonation in that little tummy. So maybe, like, a San Pllegrino yes i want somebody here to just chug one beer and eat one cupcake and so you can feel what that feels like you're not really selling that yeah if anything it would just take longer like it won't be rushed we'll have to seriously take our time and yak it up during that's why i'm saying like we should we should make it a finite amount of cupcakes to extend the whole thing. Well I think it could be an equalizer for a great drinker or a great cupcake eater. One cupcake per hour

or half hour? Well that's only going to be eating cupcakes. You're only going to be eating cupcakes. Sorry that was terrible. I'm trying to slow down the best drinkers. And I'm trying to slow down the best drinkers, and I'm trying to slow down the best cupcake eaters.

That made me feel like Charlie Bucket when he was floating in that room. Yeah, he has to burp to get down. What if the beers are in sippy cups so you can't chug? No, no, what if it's 24 beers, 16 cupcakes? Because that's a number that a cupcake yeah the team has to do 24 beers 16 cupcakes because that's a number that one person reasonably shouldn't be able to do but you can have a cupcake eater okay so divide that by three what could you split that up like give me like the average of that i can't it would be like eight beers yeah yeah it would be everyone eats five cupcakes.

That seems to be a high number because it's the right amount. If a team has a guy that doesn't want to drink beer like me and Kyle, then the other two are going to have to drink 12 beers each. And you'd have to eat 16 cupcakes. Then this wasn't accurate because in this scenario I would need my teammates to drink more beer to make up for the

lack of beer. Right, exactly. So that way it's going to be harder for my, yeah. Right, so don't you think that makes sense? If it's 24 beers, 16 cupcakes, that 16 cupcakes is a limit that it would probably be harder to do, correct? What if you get a team where one person was in? Shouldn't it just be a race to 40? Yeah, I couldn't.

I think you should just have a race. It should be a race to 40. Yeah. Just a race to 40. No, I think you need to add the element of cupcakes. The cupcakes are going to be there. Right, but a finite amount, so that way you can't just eat like... Because you're with Shane and Steven.

How I'd see that playing out is Shane drinks 18 beers, Steven drinks 10 beers, and you eat four cupcakes, you're done. It's nothing. It's a race, though. Yeah, okay. Alright. That's the part that... I'm open to whatever people... You're barely participating in that event.

That's my point. I want everyone to be equally participating. You don't want to walk... Y'all are painting a picture where I'm only eating four cupcakes. That's not going to be reality. You should have to eat up to 16 That's not going to be reality. I'm not going to do that. You should have to eat up to 16. You should have to push yourself.

Kate. I'm officially concerned. I'll say it. I'll be a Debbie Downer. All right. I think that a 24 beer, 16 cupcake race makes a lot of sense where everyone is. There's strategy involved. You're right.

It will just, it won't be fast like the last one. It'll take like serious time, I think. Because we all know we can drink 12 beers. What about just like 30 beers and 10 cupcakes? No, because you want to make it so. 16 cupcakes feels like a lot. You want to make it so the cupcake eater actually has to push. But also, what if, so right now Brandon will be a cupcake eater eater on his team and KD would be a cupcake eater on his team.

But what about the third? So one person who's not a cupcake eater. It could be an even mix, though, on some teams. You know what I mean? You could do the 8-5 on the other team, which might be an advantageous strategy. Should be funny, right. Are we not concerned that a pretty good drinker over there just went 2-2 and is dying? You know what it was, though?

Now that I, I don't know if you noticed, but I like just burped a ton sitting here. And now I already feel like much better. So it is a pacing thing. I think it's a pacing thing. What's the chat saying? Like you won't be able to chug, I don't think. Because the second I ate that cupcake, it was like a plug over the beer bubbles. That's a good thing.

And then the next thing made it impossible. I appreciate you being the guinea pig. Yeah. Now we're going to need you to do it again, but slower. You want me to do a poll? Yeah, what would be the poll, though? So one option would be... 24 beers, 16 cupcakes per team.

You can split it up however you want. Okay. What's the other option you want to do? You think we should just pick teams and figure this out? I think that would make it a lot easier to figure out. All right, fine. Yeah, let's pick teams. Yeah.

How are we picking teams? We haven't spun the team wheel yet. No, we got to do the wheel. We started to do that like at 115. A real wheel, too. A ugly wheel. Why don't you do the Ridge Wallet ad? I'll, of course, do the Ridge Wallet ad.

It's a slim, minimalist wallet. It's better looking than most wallets, and it's secure. It's everything. Where is it? Ridge Wallet is an ultra- a slim, minimalist wallet. It's better looking than most wallets, and it's secure. It's everything. Where is it? Ridge Wallet is an ultra-slim, minimalist wallet that holds up to 12 cards, and it has room for cash. There's over 30 colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium. If you go to

Ridge.com, you check out their designs. They have some crazy, good-looking designs. There's even one design that says i love puppies or something like that puppies make me happy and that's probably true it's made with rfid blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpocketers they also have a new key case to help you organize your keys it can hold anywhere from two to six keys it organizes those keys in a compact silhouette and a fold-out for easy access.

There are six colors and styles, including carbon fiber and burnt titanium. What you can do if you're looking to get this new slim minimalist wallet that looks good and is easy to hold on to, go to ridge.com slash yak. Use code yak for 10% off your order, TJ, of these ultra-slim, minimalist wallets that are fantastic. Easy to hold on to, like you said. Yes, they really are. I like them other wallets that are almost impossible to hold. Mm-hmm.

My wallet falls out of my pants a lot. Why don't you just have a Ridge wallet? I sit on high chairs. Someone did just tweet me saying we should do a mini-series, maybe like Friday or something, of the best cupcakes for the case race. Just buy cupcakes from a bunch of different places. Yeah, that sounds good. I'm out Friday. Okay. I will say that

the cupcake itself wasn't... I actually didn't mind there not being a ton of icing. Yeah, that was nice. When you smushed it down, it was... I don't blame the cupcake. You just... This would be very different. You can't rush this particular race. It's going to be a lot of burping, I think,

and a lot of dry heaving. And really, it's all about afterwards. And Lego putting together. Yeah. Might not even do the Lego. Because the last case race we were supposed to do, the loser has to put together the pop-a-shot. Yeah, that's the thing.

I feel like all this is going to fly out the window. Yeah, we don't have to do the Lego part. That's stupid. But I do think, for some reason, I think 24 and 16, it puts stress on the team where you have to decide. Hot Wheels would be fun just on some fucking excitement shit. Steven also just said that he, Shane, and Brandon are a super team. I don't share that.

I agree with that. Shane's a super performer. I don't know that we're a super team. You're a glutton. I know. I mean, Shane should have to drink IPA. I mean, I'm not that gluttonous. Put a donut on that bat. Shane has to drink

hot beers. Hot might be easier, though. No, I'm talking microwave. Really heavy cup. A cup made out of Let's get a really heavy cup. I'm trying to microwave. Really heavy cup. A cup made out of tungsten. A tungsten cup. Weighs 20 pounds. Have you ever held tungsten?

Yeah. It was here yesterday. Yeah, just recently. Wait, what? Yeah, I brought some tungsten in. You just brought some in? Yeah. I went to one of the NASCAR facilities,

and did you know they have these little tungsten blocks they put in the edge of their cars to change the whatever? They have tungsten blocks, and they went to hand it to me. It's dense as fuck. It's crazy. Let's see if we can find a tungsten cup for Shane. Yeah. All right, so we're going to spin for the teams, and then I guess we'll decide. I can see Shane deflecting cupcakes altogether to Stephen Che and relegating.

That's my point is if it's 16 cupcakes, then it makes it difficult for Brandon and difficult for Stephen. Okay. I don't think you can eat 16 cupcakes, Brandon. If Shane goes 18 beers and then you go zero beers, then Che would have to go six and six. Right. So that's what I'm saying is the 16 cupcakes in my mind is too much for one person to do themselves, so it forces the team to strategize.

How are we spinning? Is it 1-1, 1-1, 1-1? Yeah, let's do it that way. So 1 is on one team. Team 1, Team 2, Team 1, Team 2. Yeah. So the first person on Team 1. Team 1. I. Team one.

I'm team one. Now I feel bad for whoever gets me on their team. So you just saw what it's going to be. You've got Kyle. So if there's Kyle wouldn't. Wait, Kyle, how do you feel after eating those four cupcakes? Unaffected. Really?

Fuck. Completely. Be honest. God damn it. Back to team one. Uh-oh. There you go. Let's just God intend it. We're go. This is God intended.

We're always. Now we're in the race now. Yeah. Why? We got KB. No, you don't. No, we don't. He's on the other team.

You're alternating teams. Team one, team two. Team one, team two. Oh, I know. You're a big cast team. Yeah. All right. So this is KB. KB.

KB. And who? Nick? Or no? Kyle. Kyle. Kyle, Kate. And it's you and Sass. Right.

Who decides? So Nick, me, and Sass. Oh, that's not a good cake team. Oh, it's a terrible cake team. I think that we should make it 30 cupcakes. Cakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boys, I think we should drink all the beers first.

30 cupcakes and 10 beers. Kate. That's what I'm saying. We won last time. Yeah, you did. We just struggled with the beer. It was good energy. Very funny. We're fine. We're just not a mix. It was good energy. Very funny.

We're fine. We're just not a mix. We don't mix. I think it should be 10 cupcakes. I think that makes it equally as hard. I disagree. I'll say, too, this was not a light beer. You need to make the cupcakes so that the designated cupcake eaters have to guess it.

That's true. 10 cupcakes. Brandon and KB can finish that so fast. Bro, KB could do 16 cupcakes, and that shit would be light work. We lost. But I think KB should be able to have some side non-alcoholic beers

if he wants to do his 16 cupcakes and have three beers. Because I think by the time you have 16 cupcakes, we'll be two minutes into the race. Right. You're really minimizing how hard it'll be to eat 16 cupcakes. That's insane. He's a wagon, bro.

16 is not four, though. No, he just muscled that. You feel like you could eat 12 more easy? 12 more? No. That's my point. How many more? I have two more right now.

I'm not going to do that. I could do... It's hard to tell with food. Yeah. The first four are kind of nothing. And then that's the... Right. And it gets harder and harder and harder. Yeah.

I'm nice with cupcakes. You're nice with it, bro. He has a fucking little something going on. And now I'm starting to eyeball this again. Like, oh, I could eat this one now just for enjoyment. I needed to get those. Do you always eat cupcakes like that in the sandwich method? Not all the time, but I found that it helps with the mess of it.

So sometimes, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, we'll get a nice strategy going. I'm excited either way. I think it's going to be stupid and fun and perfect. Oof. I think it's going to be a lot more fun. What are the odds of puke?

I think the physical challenge should be what team can menstruate first. I feel like that would be the – I think that we might be able to – Well, that's an unfair advantage for Stephen Shea, Brandon, and – Yeah, it is. Brandon's always on his period. I bet Shea believes he can make himself menstruate if he tried hard enough.

Give me two weeks. You can make your... I think guys can too. You can have milk if you take the right pills and stuff and you really believe. I don't know if I just saw that on a tiktok so what are we what are we deciding here it's all decided

yeah 24 and 16 i think makes most sense but i'm open to now we gotta spend the real 24 and 16 definitely makes sense to slow them down but we're out of we're out of the competition no we're not now with that attitude yes you're good we're good drinkers. Then we'll just eat everything afterwards. Right. It would be funny if there's teams doing different things. So we'll all do like eight beers? Yeah. What if Shane?

Four cupcakes? No, five, six, five such things. I could see Shane Gillis going 18 beers, eight cupcakes. Yes. Just going big numbers. That's testing the limit of the human body. That's the beauty of this race. Every sport has a LeBron.

He's going to take a long-ass time if he does that. Take him like an hour and a half. Yeah. Which I think is ideal. Yeah, right. That's what I'm saying. I think we – You just don't want to eat his cupcakes.

No, it's not that. That's the thing. It's not that. I'm saying something else. I think the race aspect makes us go a little faster than is good for the video. No, it's not that. That's the thing. It's not that. I'm saying something else. I think the race aspect makes us go a little faster than is good for the video. I think the cupcakes, you guys are going to fuck around and find out. Yeah, and also the case race is always just like the tank race. It's less about the actual competition.

It's about the show afterward. Yeah. Ellie full of cupcakes. There's going to be so much more vomit. Tell me what the chat's saying. Let's see if they have any ideas. They want to run a poll on it. Okay, so what are the polls?

40 total, no minimum. Yeah, run that. All right. That's three good options. Is 40 the number we want to settle on? I think 40 is the number. Because 24 and 30 are both cases, so that makes sense. Yeah. I think 40 is the right. Because 24 and 30 are both cases, so that makes sense. Yeah.

I think 40 is the right number. Vote on the thing. It's in the chat. I just don't want to... If we're trying to get it so that it's equal and takes a while, having a cupcake minimum that's high makes KB and Brandon really compete. Otherwise, if it's if it's 40 total

with no minimum Shane's just going to drink like 24 beers and Brandon can have five cupcakes. We shall see. Leaving it up to the people. Should we spin the real wheel?

It's democratic as hell. It is democratic as hell. They say the Greeks invented democracy, but why did the Navajo people have democracy when they had never encountered the Greeks? What did that democracy sound like? It was very powerful. I also think that no matter what,

there's going to be a huge flaw that we're not seeing that's just going to happen. We'll just have to deal with it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're going to do it and be like, oh, that was going to be a huge flaw that we're not seeing that's just going to happen. We'll just have to deal with it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're going to do it and be like, oh, that was stupid to do it that way. Whatever.

Brandon, I don't like that you're trying to take a walk in the park. That wasn't it. I just crossed my leg and I squeezed my right toe. He doesn't want to compete. He's trying to eat six cupcakes. I just hurt my neck. He wants to be on the winning team. I really hurt my neck. You essentially added the cake so that you could compete. Why are you trying to like six cupcakes. I just hurt my mind. He wants to be on the winning team. I really hurt my mind. Essentially added the cake so that you could compete.

Why are you trying to like your job, pussy? It is what it is. It's in the chat. We'll figure it out. And plus, you'll be able to have beers, Brandon. I would say Nick, Sass, and I are definitely the underdogs. Don't make yourself the underdogs. I like our...

Yeah, we are, actually. Yeah, we are. We are the underdogs. You might not even finish one fucking beer. I think we're going to have fun. I still think it would be very funny to just go back and forth. That's mixing cement. Yeah, it would be very funny, though.

No, I think that your team is the clear favorite. Oh, shut up. Everybody can do both things. That's true. You're the only team where everybody can do both things. No, we can't. Okay, we can't. Should we spin a wheel in between every beer or cupcake to see which one our next one is?

That would be very funny. Should we just have a wheel in here that says beer or cupcake? It just has two choices. We should do that our whole show, just a separate not case race and just see who taps out. Yeah. It's like... Ass man standing? Yeah, yeah. Like, what's the game we play on the raft. It's like... Ass man standing? Yeah, yeah.

Like, what's the game we play on the raft? King of the Hill? King of the Hill, yeah. It's just like, all right, after four beers and, like, eight cupcakes, I'm out. And then someone just keeps, like, I got one more in me. Spins it, yeah. Yeah. That would actually be a very funny competition.

That would be a good game show just on beer and cupcake. Yeah. And you could get six beers in a row. You could get six cupcakes in a row. Beer or cupcake. That's genius. It's just a whole show. Can we get sales in here?

Yeah. I mean, they have a slap league. Imagine, yeah. You're just watching a dude who's had 25 cupcakes and 14 beers. He's like, I could keep going. Oh, my goodness. It's a four-beer streak. You have 10 minutes to finish each.

Yeah, just you get it, and then you have 10 minutes. So it just keeps the pressure on. Yeah, we should do that on our own. We should do that as a separate challenge. So can KB drink anything on the side to minimize his cupcakes? Okay, like even water. I don't his cupcakes? I can't have even water. I don't like him lubing up his throat with water. No, no, no.

He can drink water as he goes. I think any drinks that either of them drink have to be carbonated. They can drink seltzers. Oh, no. So then it counts as a beer then? No, no. You're throwing Roblox in front of us. All right, fine.

Then it counts as a beer then. You're right. Water doesn't count as a beer, but you can have water. Oh, what if we added milk? A gallon of milk per team. One of the cupcakes should just be a pint of milk. Hidden. Imagine just drinking like 10 beers, eating five cupcakes.

Like, all right, now we got to start going with the gallon of milk. Yeah, I mean, that's a puke fest. I'll puke again. I want to that's just, that's a puke fest. I puke, I'll puke again. I want to puke again, yeah. The thing with the puke is you can keep eating cupcakes if you puke. You can't drink. Yeah, that's a fact. You can't keep drinking beer. Wait, did we just spin the wheel?

No. Kate, I think we got to go beers first. So I was just thinking about this. What messed me up was eating the cupcake. I think if I had done both beers and then just sat here, I would have still lost to Kyle, but I think I could have finished it. Yeah, you would. up was eating the cupcake. I think if I had done both beers and then just sat here, I would have still lost to Kyle. But I think I could have finished it the way I did it.

I wish we just knew how many cupcakes is the limit. That's the question. You need to go four plus the limit. How many cupcakes are we buying? 200? We buy a lot. Depending on what the wheel says, that many times as many teams plus a few extras. Because you guys

will pick random cupcakes off the table I think too it'll just be more fun to save the cupcakes to the end like Kyle plugging away on them but we drink

the beers and then and I do feel like I can eat more like I've come home from the bars and eaten we also might like if we lose we're not gonna even have to

eat the cupcakes right I say we just focus on enjoyment oh you gotta you got to finish. Huh? Everyone's got to finish the 40. Why is it called a race? Everybody finishes the race

no matter what. Like a 100 meter dash and they just stop. Winner wins. You guys carry us over the finish line. Go super slow. You forgot about other places. That's like a winner's mindset. Yes, I guess so. Alright, go ahead and spin it.

Wendling it down again. When's your birthday again, Kyle? 26th, Thursday. It's on your birthday? Yes Kyle? 26th, Thursday. It's on your birthday? Yes. 30th? Love it. What do you want?

I want to be 38. That sucks. 38 is old. Yeah, because at 37 you can still. I'm trying to say that you're mid-30s. 38 is like. Turn the corner at 38. I'm just happy that when I dip into my 40s, Dave will be getting to 50.

It's like I'm young again. It's nice there's always someone older. Always someone older. I actually don't care about getting old. I'm getting older too. Once you get past the mid 30's what are you going to do maybe I'll feel different

if I'm like 45 and we're still doing this show puking and stuff maybe but probably not how many donuts do we have to eat if we're drinking I don't know we're overestimating the significance of the competition aspect because every time we've

done a case race 15 minutes in, we've had to acknowledge that we're competing. Yeah. Yeah. Usually you completely forget about it until someone's like two away. Imagine if we did a coffee and donuts race. That's wired. And shitting. Eight cups of coffee.

That actually could kill. I bet that would. That would actually be fun, though. I mean, when I was when I was creating Stella Blue, I went to the facility and I tried like all these. I took like a sip of like 70 cups of coffee. My legs started to cramp up. Oh, man. Coffee fucks me up so much. The last time I had coffee was the Stella Blue, and Stella Blue came out.

And? I love coffee. Like, I love the taste of coffee, but it just fucks me up so much. Let's add coffee to one of the cupcakes. I'll be fine if I'm drinking. What are the polls? What are the early poll results? I'll go 4-16. Pretty evenly split, though. 24 and 16

pretty evenly split though yeah see here's why we should do 24 I can't observe here's why we should do 24 and 16 with how much Brandon I've barely said anything

doesn't want to I've barely said anything you're going to be just fine at this. I know. I haven't even really complained. You're going to eat the cupcake. But we get a big sun lamp, too, to put over. Yeah.

Yeah. Now we're... Yeah. I liked the room being a theme. Made it fun. Yeah. It's birthday. Oh, yeah, birthday.

Hot Wheels theme. TJ, too. Hot Wheels? Oh, yeah, like a theme birthday party. Yeah, it's... Hot Wheels would be... I'd like it to be... We'll do four different themes.

It'll be your guys' three birthday themes and then my birthday theme in here. Oh, I like that. I'm not yet. What the hell was that? Someone just hit a bong in your throat? Oh my gosh! Kyle, hell was that? What was that noise? Someone just hit a bong in your throat? Oh, my gosh. From the stomach?

Kyle, what was that? What was it for real? That's... That's a cupcake. That's what happens when I try to burp. I can't burp. I never have. I was hurt to a bong.

That was crazy. Those sounds, yeah. That was insane. That was... That sounded like a rattling bong. Did we play that bad? Did the mic pick that up? That was... That was Sounded like a rattling bog Did we play that bad? Did the mic pick that up?

That was That was nuts That was prehistoric That was like a scuba diver about to die When it happened They have too much water in their lungs A bubbling tar pit That was crazy I think you cupcakes yourself into the beds

Underestimated cupcakes I don't know Alright I love it 24 and 16 Anything more than 10 will be wicked I think you underestimated the cupcakes. Oh no. I love it. 24 and 16. Anything more than 10 will be wicked. And that will then force the other teams to do it. Yeah, I think 16 is the perfect number. I think it's going to take us three and a half hours. No way.

The last one took 15 minutes. You forget that Shane could probably drink 30 beers in an hour and a half if he wanted to. 30 beers. You don't need 30 beers. What are you doing, Sass? Just fucking around. I'm distracted by this string. Did we get

sound of that? I actually like our chances, Nick and Sass. Yeah, you guys should be able to win. Just go eight and then just go Cupcake Town. Any of you could go more than eight. Like, there's like, you guys can pick up each other's slack. We're no other teams.

I'm not yet. The best part is we all agree that we eat a cupcake to start. And then my birthday theme in here. Doesn't count. Oh, I like that. Oh! That's an aquarium. That was crazy.

Oh, I like that. Damn. Dude, that sounded like a lab. Oh, my God. That sounded like a lab. It sounded like a test tube. What the hell was that? And then my birthday theme in here. Oh, I like that. What the hell was that?

She doesn't look at him, too. Holy shit. What happened to you, Kyle? That's crazy. The microphone picked that up so clear too Imagine me off 8 Cupcake I'm about to be scoring horror movies That was nuts

I feel like I'm in an arena I say this every time when we do something like this That's what happens when I burp When I don't burp I hear it again sounds like a bog dude it sounds like when you're like skating on a pond and the ice is about to crack it's yeah DJ can you put like a cartoon test tube sound? That was hilarious. What the fuck?

That's going to be awesome. We're winning this thing. If you're making noises like that... We should try and hang weights from the ceiling until it collapses during the race. Every beer you add 10 pounds. It was crazy when they came in and they were like, the ceiling actually could collapse. I don't remember that.

It was after we finished recording that episode. Not like the one before the tank race. Oh. Yeah, I liked having an activity But it gets tricky Oh man What do you got coming up

Kind of fucked Yeah This is gonna be like This is torture This is gonna be a fucking disaster It should be slightly torturous Why Case race isn't like fun.

I've never felt good after one. Why don't we kill each other? That's the show. We are just dancing monkeys for the people. They own us. The wheel owns us. The chat owns us. Yak fans own us.

There's nothing we can do. We are trapped. They didn't have the 16 cupcakes. We did All you can do Is hope that my name wheel comes up And we hit death to the yak It's all over This nightmare

Wake up What? Remember that show we created Where we just tortured ourselves? That was fun It was fun It's dead It's gone now

But Kyle can throw up Off the Yes Yes Yes dead it's gone now but kyle can throw up off the yes yes yes yes i cannot throw up from food yes you can't even he can yes good what so you're good i've never thrown up from food so you're good that's bad you if he could throw up from food he could just act as a vessel from help cupcake bringing the cupcake from there uses tommy go to the... No matter how many cupcakes he eats, he won't throw up. Oh! Yo.

That's like Grim Reaper. That sounds like a dinosaur stuck in amber. We should just do like one cupcake each. No, I like this. It's going to be strategy. What the... Are you hurting. No, I like this. It's going to be strategy. What the? Are you hurting? No, just kind of.

The stomach is a little bit upset. It's doing that. Yeah. I could do a lot more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five more? And also, you took a break. You would have been able to get down like eight before you got full. Yeah, if I didn't speed eat.

You get ten down, me and Kate can do three each and we'll do twelve beers and three Cubs cakes. We'll be great. Twelve beers each? It's twenty-four. Brandon, how many do you think you can eat? You have to do twelve each. Brandon, you are going to be the most important part of your team because you know Shane can

drink. I think I'll get to ten. Maybe I'll try and do 14. Over three hours? I don't think we're out at all. You guys should win. You both have to drink 12 beers. Stop trying to talk yourselves into being underdogs. We still are underdogs. Shane is the great equalizer.

I just need time. But he's not on their team. No, I know, but his team... I mean, I've been very impressed with Shane's drinking. Yeah. I almost feel hopeless going up against him. He's really fucking good at it. Sounds like there's a demon trying to escape your body.

Aaron Trump's trying to come out. This is going to be the best birthday we've ever had. Having a January birthday sucks. It does. It's so, so sad. Should we do some kind of presents for Kyle and TJ? Maybe some type of... We all get presents.

And Riggs? And Riggs and Chuck? Yeah, can of... We all get presents. And Riggs? And Riggs and Chuck. Yeah, can Riggs and Chuck get presents? And Stu Feiner and PFT. All right, now you're talking. That's too many. Too many? Too many.

It is pretty crazy at PFT. You don't have birthdays, back-to-back days. That is crazy. Same here. Just presents for Kyle, then. Oh, it got closer. Lightened up. Which is the one we're hoping for?

Like, what's the easiest? I'm hoping for 40 no minimums so I don't have to eat any cupcakes. But you have a couple I bet. Yeah. We're here to start with one. Yeah, we all have to start with one. So it's actually technically 17. Oh, the poll's over.

So that's it. I think this is going to make it very interesting. It's not over. We click and poll. Oh, it's not over. Unbelievable. Jesus, Kyle. Boil, boil.

Like the Borea Tar Pits. Sounds like we're in a doctor's office with an aquarium. It's like a coffee pot. Sounds like witches are bubbling a cauldron. Yeah, brewing. Just added the eye of Newt. Hair of a small child. All right, what else we got?

All right. Oh. Oh. Did you just try to puke? No, I'm just... Fuck it. You're just gagging. Wrap it we got? All right. Oh. Oh. Did you just try to puke? No, I'm just... Fuck it. You're just gagging. Wrap it up.

Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Sit around. See if you can. I bet you can puke. Just use this... You can't. Let's eat some more cupcakes.

So are we settling on these are our cupcakes, or can we make like... I'm down to try a bunch, like getting ready for a wedding. How about gluten-free cupcakes? No, come on. This is America. I just thought it could maybe help us drinking. This is America.

I can't. Worry some. Wait, zoom in on me pretending to hit a bong and then you make a sound, bro. Make a sound. You've never been able to burp? No It has a diagnosis It has a name for it

It is a thing That's a warble Sounds painful Is it? That's the reason why I could never drink alcohol and eat. What about some Tums? Let's pre-Tums. Let's definitely pre-Tums, Alka-Seltzer, Gas-X, whatever type of...

Yeah, we'll prepare. That does not help, trust me. Okay. All right. Chad had a good idea. Run a runoff poll between the two options. 24-16 or 40 minimum. No, I think the poll was the poll, though.

Okay. If that's fine, then... Was that a burp? That was a real burp. Who was that? That was you. No, that wasn't me. That was a good one.

I'm not sure why I assumed it was you. No, I've been... You've been drinking. I've been burping. All right. Okay. Good. Yeah.

I think he's got to go walk it off. Okay. All right. All right. That is... Thank you for the chat, for voting. Thank you. Deciding.

That will be next Thursday. That's going to be... Or next Friday is when it's going to air. All right. That is. Thank you for the chat, for voting, for deciding. That will be next Thursday. Or next Friday is when it's going to air. All right. See everyone tomorrow. That's the Yak. This is going to rock. See you tomorrow.