The Yak - Kate Reveals Her Most Depressing Halloween Costumes | The Yak 8-11-22

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Katie Moneygrabs Nation rise upYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What the fuck is up? What's up, pussies? Yak fans. Pussies! Y'all, yesterday was a unique episode, but that's in the past now. Hey, Kyle, you pussy.

A new episode. What's up? What's up, Kyle? Cool shirt. What's up? I might have your headphones. It's the Yak. It's a Thursday Yak, which means Chaps is here. Chaps Thursday. Oh, fuck. Fleming's.

Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Kate with a glow about her. Kate, $4,000 richer, Kate. And that will not go to your child's college fund. You're spending that on yourself. All on me. Yeah. All on me.

You guys are horny pieces of shit. I heard you queef this morning. I did. Not in person. It was a recording. And that's on my OnlyFans. That's right. Katie Money Grabs, if you want to hear me queef, it's an audio clip.

It is up. What's going on? Come hop on the show. We have an empty chair right here. Where's Owen? I don't know. Is he here? He went to Italy.

Is he in Italy? Yeah. He didn't tell us. Is he in Italy? Yeah. He didn't tell us. He's in Italy? That seems to be a big place to go without telling us. Yeah. Went to Europe without telling us? Oh, he did.

Yeah, he's going for his dad's birthday. Oh, okay. He did say a couple weeks ago he couldn't do the cast because he was going to Europe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shit. Fuck. What about O-Dog?

I got things going on, too. I'm going to be leaving after a few minutes, getting ready for a raw dog today, a special raw dog. You mean you're leaving after a few minutes? You just come and go as you fucking please? Yes. What's your special raw dog? It's a place that they're getting ready to try to tear down because there's not enough Chipotles in New York. They want to build another high-rise building, but, you know, there's not enough of those either.

So they want to tear down Papaya King, and they want to just put another Chipotle or Cava or whatever, some crap there. Trying to save it? Well, I hope maybe if I do a raw dog there, maybe it'll give it good luck. This is a raw dog place that was so famous, it's so famous, that it was on Seinfeld. And Kramer got out of line and caused chaos at the movie theaters. I've never done that before. I've been hammer drunk at Papaya Dog several times. Well, this is the original.

This is Papaya King. I think it would save us a ton of time if you told us where you weren't hammered. It's just a good, it's like, I think they're always open, the Papaya King. I think it would save us a ton of time if you told us where you weren't hammered. It's just a good, it's like, I think they're always open, the papaya dogs. They're just a good late night hot dog place, you know? They always advertise that Sandra Bullock ate there for the Ocean's movie nobody saw. The woman one? The woman one. 13, right?

No, 8. 10? 8? It was a prequel? That's the one where they all get their periods. No, it was the woman one. Yeah. 13, right? No, 8. 10? 8? It was a prequel? That's the one where they all get their periods. No, it was the woman one. It wasn't a prequel or anything. It was just the woman one.

It was just the woman Ocean? But why'd they call it 8 then? It was 8 of them. They couldn't find 13 qualified women. Damn. I've never seen those movies. Ocean's Eleven's amazing. Ocean's Twelve?

Eh. 13? And I never saw that one. Ocean's Eleven's Jeff D'Lo's favorite movie, I think. It's so good. It's a wonderful movie. I just watched it. Is it a heist movie? Yeah. Yes. It's got Bernie Mac. He's dead. Topher Grace. Yes.

Topher Grace is alive. Brad Pitt. Bernie Mac. What's up, guys? Brad Pitt eats on the screen. He makes it so sexual. Hot. Doesn't he sneak food on set? What's up, guys? Brad Pitt eats on the screen. He makes it so, like, hot. Doesn't he sneak food on set? Like, it's improv eating.

He eats hot. Yeah, he does eat hot. What do you mean? He's eating chips the entire movie. Whenever he, like, munches and he's all cool about it and he's, like, in motion, not really focusing on the food, still, like, alert. Eating is the hardest thing to look hot doing. He's so hot when he eats. How many people can eat hot?

Because he pops stuff, like, pretty far back into their mouth. Yeah, he's a pot. He does the pot move. And you're like, wow, he didn't even have to use his teeth. How many people can eat hot? Because he pops stuff like pretty far back into their mouth. Yeah, he's a pot eater. He does the pot move. And you're like, wow, he didn't even have to use his teeth. Can we pull up Brad Pitt eating? Yeah, can we? Brad Pitt eating.

I'd like to see that. That's like what caught my eye the most from the movie. He's a hot eater. Oh, he's hot. He's eating in every scene, too. He does that in Snatch, right? When he pops something and he's like, oh, it's a ketamine. He pops it in his mouth.

He eats in all, like, I think he sneaks, the thing is he sneaks food onto the scenes, and he eats in all his movies. There's like compilations of him eating. Yeah. You always see them on Instagram. Okay. Rusty. Okay.

Yeah, this is. Now we're going to get some opinions. Super cut. Yeah, look how cute he is when he eats. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's eating. Jeez. He's got this little bobble to him.

Oh my God. And his bum? Is this something that other people have widespread realized? Yes. I didn't think it was a ton of movies. I thought it was just this movie. I think he eats in a lot of movies. I've never noticed this ever.

Less drinking. Even the way he drinks is hot good compliment he's just a guy this is like when people compliment rudy on like his attire like wow i couldn't pull that off no you couldn't no but i think other hot guys couldn't pull that off no this is harder to do look at the spoon is tough yeah is that yogurt look how hard he dumps it back into his mouth and because he can wrap his little delicious lips around it. Yeah. Unreal.

I also forgot that Casey Affleck's in it. Oh, yeah. Scott Conn. And Scott Conn, yeah. Did you watch it recently, Kyle? Just for the first time. You hadn't seen it? Yeah, I guess not.

No good. Movies are good. They are. All of them. Every time I see one it's like that was phenomenal yeah over 240 of them I've been on a documentary kick

ever since I watched that Woodstock yeah same watched Soaked in Bleach for the first time in a while you guys ever seen that one? the Nirvana one? that's the one where

Courtney Love it's about Courtney Love my bad murdering yeah I watched a Steve Aoki one last night he has a documentary?

his dad was the guy who started Benihana where they flip the shirt in your mouth I watched that Steve Aoki one last night. He has a documentary? His dad was the guy who started Benihana, where they flip the shirt in your mouth. I watched that. I had no idea. He just runs on, I don't know, adrenaline. He doesn't sleep. Did 300 shows in a year.

Does so many shows. Have you seen the video of his cake accuracy when he throws cakes at people? No. He points at them from like 20 yards away, and he'll choose who he wants to hit with the cake. It is an incredible skill. I kind of want to see that.

Yeah, can we pull up Steve? I mean, he's good, but someone like Fred, again, doesn't need props and cakes. He's just the most talented DJ. Right, TJ? He's insane. Doesn't DJ Pauly D do lasagna? No.

Jeff and I started that rumor. Oh, I thought there was a video. Oh, I thought you did. Oh, no. We went to his show in the Jersey Shore at a pool bar. That would be so... We said he... I need to see...

There's a recent one. I think even Barstool tweeted it. This is older. Who is that? This is... Lisa Ling? At some point in the documentary, he was like,

I estimate that I threw 4,000, about 4,000 cakes and faces in the last year. He keeps a loose tally. It's an enormous amount. It's got to be like multiple cakes per show. Oh, yeah. He's going to stop. 300 shows in a year? He's going to retire.

No, he just does a show, then 12 cakes per show. I want to be honest. We haven't thrown enough cakes at each other on the show. No, I'm surprised we haven't. Put that on the wheel. Food fight. A food fight on the wheel would be good, Tank. That would be fun.

He's just throwing cakes. He doesn't care where it lands. Look at this. He long shots this next one. Okay. Jeez. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Good call, TJ. I want to see that again. Holy shit. Gutter. That's incredible. Do you think that's a 20-yard throw? That's a target. I think if you do it like five times a night for 20 years,

you're going to be good at it. Yeah, but your odds are in that amount of people that you're going to have a pretty solid direct hit and maybe just point in the direction. You've missed. They're all hitting them just directly in the face. Yeah, and it never – Do you think it has cakes that are specially made for throwing? I don't think.

They're hollow inside? I don't know. Or they're more dense. That has to hurt, right? I think so. I don't think it feels good. Not from 30 feet. What do you think? No. How does it not fly off? The loft on these cakes that they lay perfectly.

He's so accurate. Cake first and never cardboard first. I have a accurate. Cake first and never cardboard first. Yeah. I have a take. That was beautiful. I have a take. We have never thrown cake. We don't know if it's hard.

That's a good point. It could be very easy. And he must be getting them from bakeries around the world, so it's not consistent. There's no way he's getting consistent cake. He's definitely got a cake guy traveling with him. No. It's always a sheet cake, though. He's never thrown pound.

True. That's just dangerous. That's reckless. You could kill a man. I'd like to be hit always a sheet cake, though. He's never thrown pound. True. That's just dangerous. That's reckless. You could kill a man. I'd like to be hit with a Dairy Queen log. Or a Dilly Bar. They got rid of the nipples off the Dilly Bar. Did they?

Yeah, so it won't hurt your eye. How about getting hit with cookie puss? What the fuck? Cookie puss. Cookie puss. First of all, sign me up. Second of all, what is that? You've never hit with cookie puss? What the fuck? Cookie puss. Cookie puss. First of all, sign me up. Second of all, what is that? You've never heard of cookie puss?

I don't think that's too far-fetched. Never have heard of. Actually, a new subject. You fucking idiot. It's Carvel's summer cake, which is basically the Santa cake, except it's chocolate, and they put, they put an ice cream cone on his nose. But what makes him Cookie Puss? Is it a cat?

I used to call somebody's face a pussy. Look at this one. I have a Steve Aoki story. I want to see this one. Longest throw hits guy in a wheelchair. It hits a guy in a wheelchair? This is the most impressive thing ever. Wait, no chance.

Oh my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, it's the bound guy. But I bet he loved it. That's the best thing that could happen to you. In a wheelchair. In a Steve Aoki show, you want to be the good guy. If you're in a wheelchair, you're always susceptible to cakes. I mean, the way that that one flips and ends up.

That's incredible. And it hits him. He got him. Wow. Yeah, wow. Swear in the face. Well, what's your Steve Aoki story? That would be tough to clean off the wheelchair.

It would be. My sophomore year, at the end of the wrestling season, I tore my rotator cuff and couldn't compete anymore. Didn't have to practice. Didn't have to go to this other summer spring tournament what what uh as always i thought he was gesturing at me oh well then steve aoki came into town and i'd be posted of an incriminating photo of me with a thick woman on my shoulders. I'm in the background.

I have the picture. You have the picture set? Yeah. And, uh, everyone, you can't really, someone found out it was me.

So you hurt your rotator cuff. Oh yeah. Or after this, or it wasn't practicing at all. And, uh, so then he came in, then there's a picture of me with a person on my shoulder.

So your coach was like, is there anything you want to tell us, Kyle? I was faking the injury. I was only partially torn. Yeah, you had enough to hoist a woman. Yeah, I don't know. It was also embarrassing. Did she also pull a catfish out of her pussy?

You should not be the guy with putting the girl on your shoulders, unless it's guaranteed. It would be funnier, though, if you were on her shoulders, Kyle. Where are you at? In the far back. You see the girl on the shoulder. It's her? Yeah.

Somebody found out that? Yeah, yeah. How did somebody spot you? No, it was her I think she tweeted it Throwing me under the bus Look at your little face Oh my god

I was having a blast though Oh it is a tiny little face Where'd he go She had a boyfriend And like it wasn't like a worry He was there too I was just the guy I was just her Shoulder He outsourced the shoulder is he like next to you guys no he just didn't give

a fuck he wasn't worried about me do you like have a crush on this girl yeah i forget yeah did she ask you or you or were you like were you like here? I probably asked her. Oh, man. That was such a blast. Kendrick Lamar opened for him. What a time. I missed that. Didn't think he was good.

No? I didn't know he was going to be good. How long ago was this? 2013? My freshman year of college, we won this competition, the school did, to where we won a Victoria's Secret competition to where all these Victoria's Secret models came and it was a Drake concert.

And Drake came and it was right across from my dorm. And it was just Drake and a bunch of Victoria's Secret models and I didn't go. And why not? Why not? I didn't feel like it. Okay. It was right across the street.

You got to find the energy at that point. Yeah. You can go. I guess in our minds we're saying you could have fucked those if you just walked across the street. Yeah, they were in fucking vicinity there. Drake probably wouldn't want you there. Yeah, you're right. You were going to fuck all his models.

Drake has a strange taste in women though doesn't he they're children Millie Bobby Brown or old ladies he was I think he just

I think he's the most diverse taste like he just yeah I think he loves all women there's all those videos of him going to rescue all the strippers

does he go to rescue them he's going to save them when he hears they're being mistreated running into strip clubs at full speed. I'm glad we can make fun of Drake without Ronan on the show. I know. That's the only way we could

do it. Yeah. Yeah, Ronan had to take the day off after that beating he took yesterday. Might not come back. Jesus. He might be dead. Yeah, what happened? What the fuck happened? Out of hand. I thought that was a very fun episode. I think I was in the minority

there though i was entertained i was very entertained were we not i was yeah it was yeah i thought it was fun the last battle rap thing drug out it went on way too long or way too long okay you brought your clit up a lot you did it was a defense mechanism. A lot of clit chat. I heard you stuff. I heard it's not that big. I do. Roll of quarters. It's a shooter marble down there. Yeah.

I didn't want to get made fun of by the other girls. The other girls. In the locker room, so I haven't stuffed in my hood. With mozzarella like a pizza. Like a stuffed crust? Yeah. Okay. Do you behave this way when you interview veterans ever?

Like get nervous and drop like a clit line? Oh, yeah. Yep. What do they say? That's way too far. Like you can say anything you want about me, but don't talk like a clit line. Oh, yeah. Yep. Nice. What do they say? That's way too far. Like, you can say anything you want about me, but don't talk about the clit. Don't talk about the clit. Don't fucking mess around about the clit.

No. I take that personal. They can handle any battle, but the clit. But the clit. But the clit is... Right. I've seen too many clits. What are you doing, buddy?

Too many clits. Too many. Too many wounded clits. He's hanging out. Too many. You ever have to buddy carry a clit? You don't even want to know the clits I've seen. Tough hill to climb. This one's for all the

fallen clits out there. We got a clit there. Clit, clit. We got a clit count? Clit, clit. It's ironic that that's by the band Saliva because I'm salivating right now. All this clit talk.

Hell yeah. Clit radio. Can I talk about clits around Nikki? No, you can't. Nikki clitty. I can't control what I become. That's when I turn into Mr. Monster. Like when sleeper

agents have activation words. Little Mr. Clitoris. Steve Clit! Steve Che is Steve Clit. Do you recall when Steve Che had the alter ego, Steve Klitt?

No. K-L-I-T-T. It was on Fuck FM. Yeah, yeah. He was a correspondent on Fuck FM. Okay. Steve Klitt. You know, there once was a baseball player named Rusty Cunts.

Rusty Cunts. Really? Yeah. Yeah, Rusty Cunts played for the Tigers. He was recently a first base coach for the Royals, too. Oh, wow. It was a Royal Cunt. Yes, he was.

Very clever. Very clever, Brandon. This is good. This is good spitballing. There's a guy named Trigby Many Guns who was a hockey player. What? Wow. Many Guns is his last name.

I don't know what that has to do with clits. Right. Clit is kind of like a gun yeah we're just talking isn't there a guy that plays for alabama named like the coldest lsu lsu the coldest crawford middle name is to ever do it no it isn't okay i think that to ever do it's a myth i don't think that's an actual that's his middle name ever do it, so his first name's DeColdest, and then you think, it's just like, no, they wouldn't go that far.

That'd be ridiculous. They named him DeColdest. Middle names are your chance to fuck around. Kyle's Gregory. That's a first name. I'm KGB. I didn't realize that until I realized what KGB was late in life. Fuck yeah.

How old are you? Yet. I late? Yet. Probably like 13. Brandon, if you adopt a child, I don't know how it works. Is the child renamed? I'll name it. I think it probably depends on how old.

I think it's used to... If you're getting it fresh out the womb, you probably get the. There's probably a born on date. Yeah. I don't know if you adopt a five-year-old. Something out of the pound. Like if they have name recognition.

Right. I don't know. Actually, I've seen them where there's big deals where an adopted parent will say, all right, well, now they're taking my name or something like that. So I think it's. Well, that's last name. Last name. Yeah. First name, though. First name. Why would we. Oh, no, I's last name. Last name. Yeah, first name, though.

First name. Why would we... Oh, no, I wouldn't change the first name. Well, it depends on how soon you... I think... I don't know if you can. Well, they have that. Wouldn't that really fuck them up?

I think if you get in there for the first six months, you could get in there for the first six. I don't think so. Yeah. I think that baby, once it's on the birth certificate, that's his name.

Nah, once... I mean, a third... You can call whoever, whatever. ...pitch it up as many times as you want. Didn't the Jenner that has the child with Travis Scott, Kylie. She changed her kid's name, right? Like pretty late. Did she? A year in?

Well, you know Ronan Farrell. He was Satchel. His name was Satchel? Yes, he was named after Satchel Page. That's a cool first name. Satchel should be more common. Six weeks after they named their baby boy Wolf, they changed it. Okay, that's fine.

That's got to be a rough conversation. You know pretty much right away that you made the wrong choice, and then you're just debating if you want to talk about it. Wolf Webster. That's a good name, though. How do you go up from there? Wolf? I think it's a pretty cool name.

Wolf Webster Scott? My God. I know That could be like an assassin or an author What if it was too cool of a name and they saw the baby and the baby wasn't cool enough They saved the name for the next cool baby It's just a Dennis

What did they change the name to? Is it public information? I think they're hiding it Plain coy Smart, come on, Tell us your baby name. No, I was hoping like if you do, you know,

have another Walker, we could choose the middle name. That's fine. Really? I'm still going to try to create one by the end of the year. I think, I don't,

You don't believe me? I don't believe you. I don't think you have it in you. I think you have enough semen in you. Yeah, you don't have enough. Literally. I have. I would assume he does. I'm good, yeah. You said yesterday you did. I've heard Brandon enough semen in you. Yeah, you don't have enough. Literally. I have. I would assume he does.

I'm good, yeah. You said yesterday you didn't. I've heard Brandon has a lot of cum. Yeah, I'm good. He might have a lot, but I don't know if they... If it works? Yeah. We'll find out. Shooting blanks. Warlock Walker. Yep, I like that. Warlock? I sell you. What would the first name be? So you... Oh, I guess you're just

going to... Warlock's tough. Warlock is too religious for it to be his name. Oh, yeah. Is that a KKK thing? There are warlocks just going to. Warlock's tough. Warlock is too religious. What if they give you one with a Shrek's name? Is that a KKK thing? There are warlocks in the KKK. There's wizards. Also, people call boobs warlocks, right? Yeah, they do. Oh, Brandon, that's awesome.

That's a great name for boobs. See those warlocks. Hamhocks, too. Super bad they say that. I don't think it's a compliment to call a titty a hamhock, though. Depends. Depends. It depends on the body it's attached to.

Warlocks doesn't sound appealing either. It's a nice set of warlocks. I feel like if you're like a metal chick, you have warlocks. I think warlocks just means like big old titties. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're like,

yeah. One of those heavy ones that you could smash a can. Yeah, yeah. They can smash a beer can. Those are warlocks. You think those are warlocks? Yeah. I can. Yeah, yeah. They can smash a beer can. Those are warlocks. You think those are warlocks? Yeah. I think warlocks are aggressive.

They come to a point. I think they're big, but they're athletic. I don't know. No, not athletic. No, like torpedoes. Yeah, like a rolly derby player. They're big, but they have speed. An actual warlock doesn't deal as much in the arcane.

They're more of a summoning wizard. Right. They summon imps and other familiars. Orcs? No, Kyle. So I don't know how it translates into titty. I mean, a lot of things don't translate into titties. Bazookas make sense.

Zumbas make sense. Well, isn't a warlock something you kind of unlock? Like it's an evil that you kind of unlock? Are you thinking of an actual lock? You think of a warlock? You know when you were in Afghanistan and you had to get your weapons out for the warlock? The warlock, yeah.

Then your titties fell out and you were running across. It never happened to you. Warlocks. I don't know. I'd love to get to the bottom of that. Why boobs are called warlocks? Yeah. Lady Frank?

Oh, shit, yeah. Vogue. What? That is a Mets player. Oh, Daniel. Former pirate. Vogelberg. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, fuck. I remember him. You want to go say hi, Frank? Say hello. All right. All right. Is that a game? Please tell me that's an app.

Yeah, it appears to be one of those sex games. I'm glad that there's not an or because I wouldn't be able to choose. Fun fact, the Grateful Dead were called the Warlocks before they changed their name. I think Warlocks is a better name. Should we get Owen in here? Yeah, we should. Yeah. I think Frank has more important.

Frank was legitimately excited. Let's yell it. All right. Here we go. That's nice. Is he coming back? That's like three stages of manhood right now. I guess he's done.

I thought he said he was leaving after a couple minutes. We're 30 minutes in. He's coming. Wow, we are. Today's episode is brought to you by Bird Dog. Bird Dogs. See, I already messed it up, Brandon. Bird Dogs.

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That's birddogs.com, promo code YAK, and boom, a free bird dogs rope hat with your wonderful shorts. Pretty good. You have the hats and the shorts. Almost a full outfit. Almost. Good ad read, Brandon. Thank you very much.

I pride myself on reading. Fellas, we've got to get the energy up in here. Yeah, we do. Let's fit the wheel. We've got to spice things up. I came in hot this morning. I had very good. I came in hot, too.

I was listening to some good-ass music. Same here. I came in hot this morning. I had very good... I came in hot too. I was listening to some good ass music. Same here. I came in bumping. Awesome if only we could listen to music to get the vibes. My energy's been low. There's this song called Struttin' that I have been fucking hooked on that I started listening to when I came up the escalator at Penn Station

and I bobbed and weaved the whole way here. Alright, this does't move on. Almost has, like, a Kesha vibe to it, too, at the beginning. Yeah. I miss Kesha. Me, too. Yeah.

My favorite Teen Mom was when Janelle. We all know Teen Mom. I'm sure the Yak people are huge Teen Mom fans. But when Janelle was on parole, she had the ankle bracelet, and she broke it to go to a Kesha concert. Yesterday the Mets. Don't the cops come, like, instantly when you do that? Pretty much.

But she was like, but you don't understand. It's Kesha. I got feathers put in my hair for this. Yesterday the Mets had all-women songs for Women's Day. And Daniel Vogelbeck played Milkshake. Yeah? That's good. That's a good pick.

It was Women's Day at the Mets yesterday? Yes. This gentleman? That guy being a baseball player is amazing. Yeah, and he's been hitting dingers. What are you thinking, Kate? What are you thinking, Kate? Why are you surprised that that's a professional?

Frank, he doesn't run around the bases. He rumbles. I mean, watching him run the bases is actually a joy. And you know what's good about him is he's got great plate discipline. Oh, yeah. Well, I wouldn't say. No, he has great plate discipline. He knows what we do.

Did you do that, Omer? We're selling the shirt. Plate discipline. Did you do that on purpose? We're selling the shirt. Plate discipline. Oh, smart. And what's good about him is, you know what? He gets on base. Even with the stand-up double. Brad Pitt would like that too.

I've seen Moneyball, and that's important. That's the only thing that matters, in my opinion. He gets on base. Brad Pitt eating Moneyball? Oh, yeah. I think he does. Oh and that's important. That's the only thing that matters, in my opinion. It's on base. Brad Pitt eating Moneyball? Uh, yeah. I think he does. Oh, there's another one, too. Yeah, he definitely does.

Dingers and donuts. Sexy Bach. Here it is. Late Discipline. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm a fan. Might have to grab that to myself.

Because he's fat. He's fat. Oh! Yeah. He's a unit. He'm a fan. I might have to grab that to myself. Because he's fat. He's fat. Oh. Yeah. He's a unit. He's a unit. He's a unit. He's a guy.

I mean, he's definitely improved the Mets lineup. You know, when he plays, basically the Mets are like 15-2 since he's been on the team. Are you positive right now? Are you like, do you feel good? Mets are like 15-2 in their last been on the team. Are you positive right now? Are you like, do you feel good? Mets are like 15-2 in their last 17 games, aren't they? Yes. Yeah. They're in the hottest streak they've been on in years.

Yeah. Who's in your unit baseball player? Mount Rushmore? Oh, great question. Well, of course, there's only – David Wells? Yeah. Artolo?

Abe Roofed. Oh. Can you be a unit in the 20s, though? I can't. Yes, yes. You were considered a strong man back then. Big old guy. Babe Roofed is the original unit. Cecil Fielder?

Cecil Fielder was a unit. Prince Fielder was a unit. Terry Forrester. Sandoval, correct? Terry Forrester Terry Forrester a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves a relief pitcher in the 1980s Dave Letterman used to call him

a fat tub of goo then he came out with his own music video yes what was the song fat is in gotta wear it like armor a tub of goo is a

It's a really pointed It's a mean one That's a mean one Because goo has no What's the practical use of goo? You would never need a large Like a vat for goo Why would you ever need a large amount of goo?

I think I could I could live the rest of my life Just with the jar Sid Fernandez was a unit on the 86 Mets Okay Why would you need a small amount of goo? I guess hair? Soap?

Yeah, I don't know. Goo be gone. Goo be gone is good. Good to get sticker residue off. Is that a tub of goo? Oh, that's a tub of lube. What? Is that lube?

Slush fund. That would be a great yak. You've got to go in the barrel of lube. That would be so funny. I would love that. I would love that. I would love that. Oh, man. All right, we'll pitch it to the guys.

You only need like half a barrel, really. Yeah. I mean, displacement would be so hard. Yeah, you're right. That would feel good as fuck. You know how good ultrasounds feel? Yeah, I was in the bathing in goo show and I'd be dumped in that fucking big tub of goo.

I want the next punishment. It's a crazy feeling. You have to go to a restaurant covered in goo. That'd be so funny. I don't think they'd turn you down if you were soaking wet. The newborn challenge. If it was a dark or a restaurant,

I don't think they would notice at first. No, they would. You'd notice goo. I actually think it'd be easier to not notice if it was light because if it's dark, you would be shining a few lights in the building. You wouldn't notice

someone was covered in goo. Second you're covered in goo, that's your main identifier. Oh, yeah. Imagine going in. If everybody were covered in goo, racism wouldn't exist. Everybody would just be gooey. Yeah. Just play it off like you're sweating. It's a gland problem.

Dude, that's goo. Nah, man, that's goo. Shut the fuck up, I have hyperhidrosis. Oh, no, that's goo, not perspiration. Who's your goo. Shut the fuck up. I have hyperhidrosis. Oh, no. That's goo, not perspiration. Who's your gooey friend? How was your date? It was good, but he was covered in goo.

I don't mind a little goo. Did you notice he was gooey? He was gooey. Did anyone else notice he was a little gooey? The toe, even. Other than that fine I would have sworn he just came from a vat of goo Did he tell you what he was doing before this? You know the carnivals

They have the people You throw the baseball and they fall in the water Yeah Why not have them fall into a vat of goo? Why not fall into a vat of goo? Great question. I want to hear the noise, the splat noise, because I'd imagine it would be funny. Yeah, probably.

Can you just look up the words man jumps in goo? Yeah. I'd just like to see what comes up. Yeah, we'll have to buy that barrel of goo. Yes. We have enough in the slush fund, right? Oh, plenty in the slush fund. right? Oh, plenty of slush. We have like 9,100.

It's like that in cloudy with a chance of meatballs when they're in the jello. You know, I always, I know I always wanted to go in the jello. You know, I'm thinking about Adams. I'm thinking about either starting an only fans and start auctioning off

some of my junk. Like, uh, yeah, hell yeah, brother. You are like a way to put it like a, like off,

like a sitting with me at a game or something like that oh i like that streaming game and or how about this uh i ripped my pants on the lar last week oh yeah selling the pants yeah that auctioning off the pants i ripped in the uh i think you can use the whatsapp for that is that what it's called yeah whatnot whatnot maybe uh it's whatsapp maybe also maybe also uh auctioning off my former Roomba the Roomba that died a couple weeks ago You're just getting rid of your fucking trash

That's trash That forces people to I want these fucking pants that are torn I got outbid on this broken vacuum I bet you people will buy it. Did you see, though, that the LIRR responded to this? No. Yeah, they sent me a form to fill out.

But you have to have the original receipt for the item in order to get the money back. Yeah, how am I going to... I bought these pants like 10 months ago. Where am I going to find that fucking receipt? Can we go to the armrest photo you chose? Wait, what am I looking at? Who is this man?

This is a man. Why is he posing for the picture? Frank, there had to have been better armrest photos. Great picture of that man. Yeah, a good photo of the man. Looks like a stock image. Wait, can we Google LIR armrest? Was that the first result, Frank?

That was the result of the picture of the armrest I was looking for. There's two different armrests. Oh, I thought you took the picture of the armrest. So this guy has no idea that he's in a photo about you ripping your pants. I thought you took the picture. No, the picture's on Google. There he is. We've got to hit him up.

And it actually is a story. If you click on the link, it's actually a story about pants ripping on the LIOR. Wait, that guy's one is? Apparently they've paid out like $300,000 plus in pant repair fees. Yes. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, the picture of the guy. How are they responsible for that?

Fucking klutz? Because their damn armrests just grab your pants, and they're like, here you go. So, Frank, were you calm and collected when your pants ripped on the train? Well, the Mets won the game, so yes. Okay. You're going to be the reason we're going to not have armrests. How long were you ass out?

What? How long were you ass out for? Because that was a pretty big split. Well, it's a 15-minute ride from the Citi Field to Penn Station. And then I got on the New Jersey Transit train right away and then got an Uber. So maybe about an hour. Hour ripped. Yep.

And if anyone walked behind me, they could see London. Yeah? They would see France. Frank doesn't wear underwear. Why do I think Frank wears just the heart boxers? And they would definitely see my underpants. I mean, literally. Did you guys see Tommy Lee's penis?

Oh yeah Yeah He posted that on Instagram He took it down Yeah Already Because too many people Were freaking out about it But yes

He did post his penis Something wrong with it? You know speaking of No he's got a pretty good penis Yeah he's got a pretty good dick There was quite a full moon Out yesterday Yeah There was Hey Frank There was quite a full moon out yesterday. Yeah?

There was. Hey, Frank. There was. Sorry about that. Please use this link. Did you do it? I haven't filled out the paper yet, but I printed it out. Holy shit.

My God. Please provide a copy of original purchases. I cannot imagine. Original. Oh, fuck that. Who has that for pants? Unless you bought them that day. And, like, can we zoom in a little bit?

I want to see all that for a pair of pants. I actually have to form my... I did $200. That's pretty good. Yeah. I thought it would have been like $50. If that. This is just intentional so you don't fill it out.

Yeah. Is it only one page or is there multiple pages? There's one page, but the finding receipt is the thing that gets me. I bought these pants last year down in Florida. I paid $40 for them. Did you pay cash or card?

Card. It's crazy that paper receipts are still a thing. Is it not crazy? Do I have my own things that's fucking insane? Like when you get like a Red Bull at Walgreens

and they give you a receipt that's this long. No, no, no. How about CVS? If you buy a stick of gum, you could have a receipt that's 10 feet tall. Yeah. What's stopping like restaurants from like changing your tip? Like I don't ever check that once I – I don't think people do that.

Do they? I've done it. Yeah, you're right. When I worked at Hungry Howie's. You go through and just make them less on tape. I don't ever check that once I... I don't think people do that. Do they? I've done it. Yeah, you're right. I've never checked. When I worked at Hungry Howie's. You go through and just make them less on tape when you're walking out. I've done that.

Well, if you get caught, you could go to jail. Yeah, yeah. I left my debit card at a bar the other night and I never closed down. I'm wondering how much they tipped themselves out. That's tough. I've been a victim of that. If you lose money on a debit card, you can the other night and I never closed out and I'm wondering how much they tip themselves out. That's tough. I've been a victim of that.

If you lose money on a debit card, you can't get it back. I left it at make-believe and they gave me a they gave themselves a $100 tip. You're not supposed to have debit cards, right? Isn't that like a financial... I don't use credit cards. I never use credit cards.

I only use debit cards. I just learned the other day that no, you could be earning all sorts of points and other shit if you use credit cards. I'm, like, in my 30s, and I only use debit cards. I don't trust myself with credit cards. Wow, you're in your 30s? You know what's funny is parents still go to the grocery store and use checks. Yeah.

And they had a fight with the people at Walmart because they won't check checks anymore. I never understood the check scanning thing. I don't think it really worked. The half moon thing? Yeah. I don't know what that's doing. Yeah. Something's fishy.

Do you guys want to spoil Surviving Barstool? Yes, very much so. Is that still going on? Yeah, the week. It looked miserable last night i think it ends tomorrow i was talking to him yesterday and he you know they have one element where they can stay in like a bed or whatever he's been on the floor my guy that's tough they all look like they're in rough shape yeah and this isn't a spoiler but someone told

me the other night when i brought my son in, because I needed somebody to watch him here so we could do a late interview. Someone here told me they used him as a pawn almost to knock someone off the – there was like diabolical shit happening while I was doing the interview where he was like a pawn to help knock someone out. How'd they use your son? I don't know. You'll have to watch the show. Yeah, I'm curious. I know the full story, but I can't say it. Well, I'm just looking forward

to get my desk back. Yeah, me too. That would be nice. Oh, yeah. That sucks. You guys were displaced. Taking our desks. So the whole office, it's dark all day. Do we ever break the third wall? Guys, it's dark all day in the office now because they're doing the studio. Holy shit.

She's talking directly to the audience. That's not allowed. It's dark. Don't zoom in on me, please. I'll take the big head thing. I wouldn't mind that. It is pitch black over there, though. It is. It's very dark.

All day long, the windows are shut. It's very dark. Am I going to get the big head? Imagine just bringing one of those to school. Yeah. How funny that would be. Yeah, my dad's an Uber driver.

TJ, do you have the video of that guy wearing the giant cowboy hat? Oh, that was awesome. I saw that. You know, these guys are the Uber drivers. They're all

from jersey and they come on none of them i would argue that most of them are not no seriously most of them are not from jersey every day live in jersey every day on the every day on the on the new jersey transit now they They're like about half a dozen people with their bicycles and like Uber bags on their bicycles. Oh, yeah. What's wrong with that?

They're going to work like me and you. Yeah, they block the aisles, though. I can't get on. They're going to work like you. I can't get to my seat. These bicycles, there's no place to hang them

on the New Jersey Transit because the New Jersey Transit got rid of all the double-decker trains and now have these old trains with the aisle that's like two inches wide. You have plenty of room to sit. Look at that thing. That's funny as hell.

I want it so bad, dude. Look at that bad boy. That's awesome. He's got a big head. I didn't know it was that. Jesus. I wasn't lying to you, Brandon. You know what the funniest part is?

He's alone. That makes it so much funnier. And it's not like a prop you can carry to the bar in Panama. You get there because it's too big. You have to wear that to get it around. I would like to have that hat next year for the draft show. That's a nice one for the draft show.

Yeah, inconvenient costumes. I have room for other hats. I went in college, I went as Thanksgiving dinner for Halloween to like a club and so I had like a big cardboard table

over me with all these like meals. I had like a turkey head on and then I was just like, I got so late that night. I got, I know, I just stood alone.

I was a fucking table. Nobody could get close to me. Like the karate kid. Were they annoyed? I don't, that's a scene in the, what? fucking table. Nobody could get close to me. Like the karate kid. Were they annoyed? That's a scene in the karate... What? You guys ever seen the karate kid when he dresses up as the shower?

And he's this big ass, like, I think he's a shower. Oh, yeah. He wears like a dorky costume. An interesting costume. Yeah. I know, right? That is a shower.

I always wanted his inanimate objects as a kid. Yeah. I went as a fridge once. I went as a speed bump like three years in a row. I always went as inanimate objects as a kid. Yeah. I went as a fridge once. We didn't. I went as a speed bump like three years in a row. I always went as a guy

covered in goo. It was awesome. Guy covered in goo. That's a good idea. It was great. I went as a hot dog one year and I was with one of my buddies. We were really young

and he was some weird explorer. I don't even know what the show was. Some random ass show and he was a character from that. We opened the door and we were trick or treating. The lady looks at him and like instantly is like oh my god you're blah blah blah from this random kids show and then she looks at me and she goes what are you

i remember this story massive hot dog my head is like a hot dog it's like it's like I didn't make it. It's a real costume. What are you supposed to be? That's awesome. Hot dog. A hot dog. Yeah. A hot dog. I might. I haven't done Halloween in a long time. I might go all out this year.

I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. I just thought everyone should know. That's funny. That's good. It works works It does He was a long neck Crocodile Dundee

Oh they would know Of course they would know Crocodile Dundee He's a Crocodile Dundee He's a homemade He's more known than hot dogs He's a homemade

Crocodile Dundee costume Yeah but When Crocodile Dundee Was famous Well actually This was It came out in 1986 I was gonna say

Why was a kid your age Doing Crocodile Dundee We were in like kindergarten And she was like Oh he's a crocodile why was a kid your age doing Crocodile Dundee? We were in kindergarten. I think my parents introduced it to me. I'm pretty sure it's Crocodile Hunter. TJ, I just DM'd you a Halloween costume on Twitter. I know it was Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, why are we arguing this?

It was Crocodile. I know. Are you sure you were a hot dog? Are you sure you weren't a cheeseburger? You were a cheeseburger. It doesn't change anything. Do you have a large dog? Are you sure you weren't a cheeseburger? You were a cheeseburger. It doesn't change anything. Do you have a large knife? What the fuck is this?

That's my dad would make me my costume every year, and this is my favorite one. Kate, that sucks. What am I looking at? That fucking sucks. That sucks ass. That is the worst fucking costume. I hope you got no fucking costume.

Wait a minute. Her dad is the nicest. He's trying his best. That shit trashed. He did not even fucking try. Our church had a costume competition and I was like, I went into it like, I'm gonna fuck... Nobody's gonna hold a candle to me. I'm gonna crush. And I

wasn't even like... I didn't even make runner up and I was devastated. I'm the basketball going into the hoop. Do you remember what they were wearing? It was like an angel I didn't even make runner-up, and I was devastated. Wah, wah, wah, wah. I'm the basketball going into the hoop. Do you remember what they were wearing? It was like an angel or something. It was like something religious. It was a church competition.

Some effort in. I know. And the fumes, that was a real basketball, and so it was a freshly cut ball. And I remember just drooling all over myself because of the fumes. How old were you? 17, right? I was probably like 12.

Now, you're not the most symmetrical broad, but there's no way your eyes aligned. No, I couldn't see anything. Where's the rest of your body? Hey, where's the rest of your body? You in there? I'm pretty sure that was just for her head, boys. I crouched down inside the box. Are you in that box I'm pretty sure that was just for her head, boys. I crouched down inside the box. Are you in that box?

Yes, yes. I think your dad realized it was bad. He's like, I better write fucking NBA on here. Or else nobody's going to fuck with me. I don't give it away. That's a real rim. Someone's going to call the cops for a suspicious package. Kate, did you have to?

Yeah, that's a real rim. We know. Oh, that makes it better. Oh, that's a real rim. We know. That makes it better. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, man. Going to a Halloween when you were saying you were the... What were you?

The table? Yeah, the table with Thanksgiving food. Yeah. How old were you when you did that? In college. Yeah. That's always the worst feeling when you get there and you're going a little harder than everyone a little bit harder after that i just wore all pink and put a shoe on my head i was a chewed piece of guy yeah that's like the best yeah half-assed people always get the most pussy oh yeah they do like hold three hole punch gym you got so dude so much pussy off of that and the trickle down pussy like eyes going as three hole punch gym. I remember one year me and my buddies went as cowboys and we went

all out. Got real ass cowboy shit and we were the only people dressed up. We looked like some damn fools. My first year at Barstool Caleb invited me to a Halloween party and I was like, okay, Caleb's a cool

guy. I want to half-ass it. So I just, it was in the heat of COVID, so I just put vampire teeth on my mask. Yeah. And I walked in and they were going, it was movie quality. I thought I walked into the set

of the Pirates of the Caribbean and I was just like, oh no. There should be some sort of like disclaimer beforehand. Like, hey, we're going all out or keep it laid back. It's like that Babadook tweet. Right. hey, we're going all out. Should be levels. You've been laid back. It's like that Babadook tweet.

Right. We always talk about that. Oh, that is great. Yeah. The Katie Dippold. My favorite costume I did, I used to all yellow and then spray myself with vinegar

so I would go as piss. That's pretty good. That's good. You already smell like piss, though. I do. But it added the extra essence. Yeah, yeah. Brandon, this... That would be like going as Penn Station. True, yeah. You already smell like piss I do But it added the extra essence Yeah Brandon That would be like going to Penn Station

True yeah Brandon you guys don't You don't celebrate Don't make this up I remember you telling us this before Did you as a kid? Yeah Not as an adult

What's this? This one My dad also came up with this one I'm supposed to be John Kruk Which is why he stuffed my John Kruk? That's why there's pillows making me bigger. You look like Robert Paulson.

I know. You only had one testicle in that picture. Nobody knew. I remember all the teachers, this was at school, were like, what are you supposed to be? I was like, my dad says John Crook. My dad says... I fucking hate you. Yeah. Yeah.

John Crook. Why'd you pick it? He was a West Virginia boy? He was a Philly. We were John Cork. John Cork. Why'd you pick it? He was a West Virginia boy? He was a Philly. We were Phillies fans. He's from West Virginia. Yeah. Is he really? Yes.

I think. I think so, yeah. Parkersburg. Frank, are you going to Huntington for Rough and Rowdy? Yes, I am. Hell yeah. Doug's Corner? Yes, I'll be heading out there next Thursday.

Awful city. Now, are you saying this is a reliable West Virginia resident or are you saying this is a alum of West Virginia? No, Marshall's campus is very nice. The second you step off,

you. And I hear there's a place down there called Hillbilly Hot Dogs. Hillbilly Hot Dogs is good. Yeah, there is. It's a big thing. I don't think it's that good of a place, but it's good. I mean, it's a place down there called Hillbilly Hot Dogs Hillbilly Hot Dogs is good yeah there is it's a big thing I don't think it's that good of a place but it's a hot dog it can only be single I remember going down there in high school and being wowed by five guys

thought it was like the coolest thing the peanuts they're still good didn't you announce that you were going to leave to do Raw Dogs? yes in fact It's still good. It's still pretty good. Right, didn't you announce that you were going to leave to do raw dogs? Yes, in fact, I'll be seeing you guys in a couple weeks. Next time I'll be on Tank Thursday. That's right.

So have fun. Yeah, thank you. And you have fun. Enjoy your dogs. Enjoy West Virginia. Enjoy your raw dogs. Are you ready to be a corner man? You have the spit bucket?

I'll be in the corner. Okay. Oh, no spitting. That's good. Are you guys going? West Virginia? No, we've never been to one. I'm supposed to go.

No. Wait, didn't you guys go? Yes, we were. Don't you remember the ring girl contest? No, no, that wasn't them. No, different guys. Okay. Frank, you were part of that.

And you know what was great? I went to Cracker Barrel. It was the first time I went to Cracker Barrel with these guys. And I got a prize in my green beans. There was a big piece of metal in his beans. I think it was a targeted attack. I regarded it as being like a Cracker Jack prize, so it was a little metal piece, a little

staple, you know. You were optimistic. I mean, it was a prize. A Cracker Barrel's good. In a sense. Fills a gap. It's a good road trip stop. I assume I i'm gonna be eating one this weekend when i'm driving back from uh mississippi you make that drive a good bit way more than i'll

do yeah what what you you like the drive though right you hate it i hate it but i gotta do it why don't you just fly well because my my wife's called i had to get the dog down there and the family down there and everybody down there. So they're all down there. I've got to go get them. And I'm going to go get them and put them on the shore for a couple weeks until our house is ready. So I'm flying down Friday night. Sick. I'm flying down Friday, and Saturday morning I'm getting in the car and driving back.

So you're not moving to Mississippi anymore? No, I've got a house up here for another year until I decide what I'm going to do about Chicago and Mississippi. It was shocking how fast you faded into obscurity when you were down there. It really was. It makes you realize. I took a week vacation. I was like, oh, I'm fucked. Yeah, it's wild.

I disappeared pretty. And I'm a big fucking deal. You're a big deal. And when I got down there, I was not a big fucking deal. So it was, yeah. We're blessed. It was jarring. That's in your own head

how you perceive it Nick just said it it's totally different for you though Chaps it's only you yeah no you're super fine no it's great

yeah I thought you were here man hey guys thanks for having me on the show appreciate it I thought I smelled piss yeah it's me

I'm extra pissy today it's Thursday though would you rather smell like shit Uh oh What Yeah okay Oh man That costume sucks

Oh that was so fucking bad I can't believe you're in that yeah that's really blowing my mind i like to imagine why were you crotch i like to imagine you're standing yeah weren't you like shouldn't you have like the the pole i thought it was so realistic that's my body was the pole yeah right but i thought that that part was so realistic that i i yeah i guess i thought i would look like a real i like to imagine that the that the picture doesn't do it justice and it's actually like a massive box and you're standing.

You're like 18 years old standing up in that photo. That's why I'm squatting so you can't tell how old I am and I'm full grown. I might go as that this year. We should all do that.

We should all be that. We should all be that. Have my dad come in and fit you all for your MBA. He could replicate it or is that kind of like it's impossible

because it was too good then? Oh, I think he could replicate it. I mean, does your dad have 15 minutes to spare? Yeah. It'd also be like six minutes. Do you have siblings? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should I call them?

Do you have siblings? I have one brother. Was his costume better? No, he was always the too cool for Halloween guy. Really? And I was the opposite. I was like, let's fucking go. That's how you know a kid is genuinely cool,

if he never gave a fuck about Halloween. Even as a little kid? A kid I went to school with, Joseph Neihardt, never gave a fuck about Halloween. Never. He was seaward. That's what happened to us. Our kids really didn't care.

They didn't care? They didn't care, yeah. And then we just kind of- Oh, my kids care. We never really did it. They care. It would have been so much better, Brandon, if you just said that. Oh, I don't care what it looks like. We thought you were religious, though. It would have been so much better, Brandon, if you just said that.

I don't care what it looks like. We thought you were religious. I never said that at all. It was implied. Implied by who? All of us. You implied it. It's finer.

It's like my kids don't like it. I have pictures of them in costumes years ago. We did it. Are they all pissed? No. Tommy was Guy Fieri one year. That's a good one. Tommy was Guy Fieri.

Then they just kind of said, I don't really care. That was it. I'm going to find Tommy as Guy Fieri. I do want to see that. I would love to see that very much. A photo of young Tommy with the blade of grass out of his mouth is my favorite photo of all time. Tommy was the most photogenic kid in the history of...

Oh, my God. When did you guys fully stop? It's Halloween. You know what? Really, to be honest... I'm talking to you, bro. Oh, I'm sorry. Jesus.

I thought the question was still about that. Didn't it sound like the question was still about that? Yeah, it was. I was not directing it at you at all. I think we're all good. I went, and I was embarrassed that I went in seventh grade. Yeah, that was me, too. Sixth grade for me.

I loved candy. Freshman year of high school. So much. I did not give a fuck. I was in high school still going around my neighborhood like, I know, sorry, but can I I bet you Owen never gave a fuck about Halloween. Yeah, there's no way. Did you ever have a good costume or was it always last second?

Last second. Yeah. I said like the cool like laid back kids never gave a fuck about Halloween. Except. I prepped for months. One year I was a surfer and I fell asleep in a wetsuit. Oh yeah. You almost.

Yeah. I almost died. What? What? Yeah. I fell asleep in a wetsuit and I napped for like four hours and I was like 11. Like you found a stray one like to use as a bed or you were in it and then fell asleep? I was dressed as a surfer for Halloween.

And I sweat a lot of my body weight out. How's the show been? Were Josh and Frank great? Josh wasn't on. Okay. Just Frank. Just Frank. He was himself.

It was a little weird energy in the beginning. But I think... Yeah, I think... Recovery. Yeah, I think we have a little hangover from yesterday, maybe. I could see that. Yeah. That was interesting.

It was. As it was happening, I was just like... We didn't do anything. No. No. Strangely, we didn't do anything. No. No. Strangely, we didn't. Yeah. We usually egg people on.

We usually suck, yeah. We usually egg people on like assholes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's spin the wheel. Patriotic flag. That was a patriotic flag. Oh, fuck me.

Oh, we're good. Yay. Owen comes in for 13 seconds. That would blow. Sorry, man. It's the wheel. I wish Big Cat were here because we probably would have that

probably would have that, probably would have that bucket of goo on the way. It would be on the way already. Yep. What's this, goo? You want to buy a big bucket of goo and then have one of the worst. Five gallons? Yeah.

So the punishment would be you have to go get, you have to get in the goo, submerge in the goo. A lot of goo. A barrel. You're going to be covered in goo. Are you close? Then you have to go to a restaurant. Kate said she wouldn't notice if somebody was covered in goo.

If it was dimly lit. You're going to go eat ramen, too. It can't be something that you're going to eat like a cold salad. If it's past 730, I won't know if you have goo on you. I just won't know. New York, baby. This is what we do. I just keep picturing that Danny DeVito in Always Sunny.

Oh, he's getting pure. Yeah, yeah. It's very sexy going into that goo, in Always Sunny. Oh, he's getting pure. Yeah, yeah. It's very sexy going into that goo, though. Yeah. She's enjoying it a lot. But how lubed does she need to be? How disgusting is that man? She's very dry.

She has to lube every inch of her. Every bit of her is fuckable. Is this somebody going in goo? Oh, is this goo? I can't find Tommy and Gun. What is this? It's a tub of goo. There's a customer review.

It's okay. They have cops at a coffee shop with a tap like a kick. I don't think it's going to spray. Goo does not spray.

Goo can't spray. Goo can't spray. At best, it goos. All it can do is goo. If a scientist could make a mist

that makes you gooey. Guys are goo noobs. Oh yeah, he it can do is goo. If a scientist could make a mist that makes you gooey. Guys are goo noobs. Oh, yeah. He's pumping up that goo. It's very embarrassing that you have to do that for so long. Yeah, and you got to keep it going at the same speed. Right. Having that thing in your room and you're trying to fuck.

You're just pumping that thing for three minutes. Hold on, baby. Should be out any second now. Every time you're having sex, you're like, God damn it. Come on. That should be the punishment. You have to keep the're having sex, you're like, God damn it. Come on. That should be the punishment. You have to keep the barrel of lube in your room for like a year. That would be fucking awful.

That would be just a nuisance. You'd have to move. It's like your new nightstand. It would be so heavy. Imagine that thing is like 8,000 pounds. That looked like cum, huh? It was whiter. I think it might just be a jug of cum.

Oh, yeah. It's very milky. Are they going to... No! What? All right. We got a jokester. I think that's Kenny from Kenny vs. Spenny.

Are these high school kids? What is this? This is like the video that they have as an example. This is the customer review. This is the wackest crew of the jug of glue. That is a weak-ass crew. What is happening? Wait a minute.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Alright, alright. So TJ, first of all, pause on you for going directly to the group of dorks. Let's see the woman. Are you making sure it's not...

I'm making sure it doesn't jump cut to her getting DP'd or something. It's just hardcore porn. On a Google review. Are they pouring it into a... Do they send guys to... Oh yeah, you gotta pay extra for that though. Yeah, it's 55 gallons.

She has the beanbag. I can't even see. This is Kyle's apartment. That's the same woman that he had up on his shoulders. Kyle, she has the beanbag. A shitload of pounds. I can't even see. This is Kyle's apartment. Kyle's apartment. That's the same woman that he had up on his shoulders. Yeah. Kyle answers the door to sign for it. I think there's a beanbag in the lobby right now.

That box. The Yogi Bow? That's a beanbag company. Oh, hell yeah. You over beanbags, Kyle? No, I just have a jumbo sack. It's not jumbo anymore. You said it shrunk.

Nah, it was in my head. No shit. It was dysmorphia. Oh, man. All right. Anybody else have anything to say? Anything to add? Owen?

That ought to do it. Owen, good show, buddy. Yeah, nice job, Owen. Subscribe to Kate's OnlyFans. 80 money grabs. Let's go. I'll be out tomorrow. I will also be out tomorrow. I'll be in Atlanta.

Ooh. Atlanta. Atlanta. Show's both nice. East Atlanta. Friday and Saturday. With Gucci Mane. Yep.

I just saw this thing where the hottest brunch in Atlanta is at a strip club. And the line is like all the way around the block and out the door on a Sunday morning. And they just put like they just cover the strip club and tables like it has nothing to do with strippers. It's just a great brunch spot. There's no strippers? No strippers. But you'd think that would be even better. At least one.

Just have one. But no, apparently it's like known for the food. It's good. So if you have time. Sass, have you ever been to a strip club? God, no. The Lord would have forgiven me for that? No, he wouldn't.

Absolutely not. No, I have been to a strip club. Actually, I found out that the strip club that me and my buddies have gone to in Denver is the one that Dave Chappelle often goes to. Wow. Shotgun Willie's. Shotgun Willie's. They close dangerous curves and wheeling. Oh, no.

Yeah, I heard that. Not good. No. Not good at all. Western PA had the drive-thru strip club, Climax. Wow. What is that? Go on.

Wait, wait. What was that work? What town? One just flashes their titties at the drive-thru strip club. It closed. Where is that? Right after. We used to drive by it because it was near IUP.

Oh, was it Homer City? It was near Indiana University of Pennsylvania. It was like maybe a 20-minute drive from there. But you literally, yeah, see, it's real sad looking, but you would drive up. I would imagine it to be sad looking. You slip a 20 in the little slot, and then the window opens, and you sit in your car, and you jerk off. Oh. Yeah, you could do whatever, I guess guess in your car. That's the most

depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. That should have closed down a while ago. Oh my god. The guys in Centuries ago. I'm shocked that that ever opened. The owner's name was like Danny Climax or something like that. That's such a sick name. He passed away in like 2009, rest in peace. I'm assuming he passed away

in like a glorious climax. Yes, probably. Climaxed so hard he died. Yep. He's away in like a glorious climax. Yes, probably. Climaxed so hard he died. Yep. And he's buried in a tub of goo. So much gum spraying. Closed summer of 2019 after owner's death. Yeah.

Big Pony Pub still open, right, Brandon? It is, yeah. I had the picture of the kid carrying the catfish in there to trade for lap dances. Yeah. Have you ever been to a strip club, can you say? Yeah, I've been to a couple. I've been to the Pony.

For your bachelor party, is that what you did? No, we played golf. I feel like bachelor parties aren't going to strip clubs anymore. Bachelors are getting gay. Yeah. I've been to a strip club like once, and when I went, there was a bachelor party happening. It looked wildly unpleasant to be the bachelor. They were spanking him on stage in front of a packed strip club.

This is humiliating. Yeah. Imagine doing that. There's like seven strippers just beating the fuck out of him on stage. What was your bachelorette party? I'm sorry. It was just down the Jersey Shore in seattle city with all my cousins yeah i went to the ocean drive and then to la costa now i'm divorced i talked to these marines who they were in germany and they said they all went out as a group to go to the strip club thinking it was going to be like

the best time ever and they got like they're like and then they like chained us up on the stage and yeah yeah and they said it was like genuinely terrifying like weird yeah like you really do need the safe word uh german a german club seems like it would be crazy yeah they said you had to be on your toes yeah maybe we should do the episode at a strip club. I probably should. We should do a live show at a strip club. That would be sick. It's hard to tell a joke when your heart is a rock. Yeah, it is. I hate them, the idea.

Strip clubs? I don't think I would get horny. Yeah, my favorite strip club was in Japan, and this woman, she was an older woman in her 80s, and she would put like 10 to 12 quarters in her puss, and she would tell you how many, she would ask you how many you wanted her to drop out, and she could drop out that many quarters. Oh.

And she would also do it with bananas and say how many pieces do you want, and then she would cut the banana with her vagina, and it would drop into a young Marine's mouth. Worst thing I've ever heard of. Yeah. The name is the banana lady. She's famous in Okinawa.

Yeah, the banana lady was infamous. There's no way, unless it was clean slices. No, it was pretty mushy. Yeah. Her name is Banana Lady. She's famous in Okinawa. Yeah, the Banana Lady was infamous. There's no way. Unless it was clean slices. No, it's pretty mushy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could really squeeze this if she wasn't cutting it. Yeah, like,

pussies are dull. Yeah, they are. It would have been awesome if it was just like your personal slices. I apologize. I used the wrong terms. That was on me.

I think I'm about to julienne this thing. There you go. You want it minced? So Phyllis. Ben comes out of there. What's up, Phyllis? If she could make a smoothie.

Bananas Foster. Little caramel sauce on it. It's fine. Strip Club and Whe wheeling godfathers has a woman you could putt a ball it's like a putting surface and she lays at the end

and you could that's a wide set vagina I think she she enhances it she she uses like a spreader sort of thing

gauges for earrings that sounds horrible these are all disgusting these sound horrible I don't understand why anybody would like any of that kind for earrings that sounds horrible these are all disgusting these sound horrible I don't understand why anybody would like any of that kind of shit that sounds terrifying

no yeah I don't like that but also interesting a little party is intrigued to see it is that like that wouldn't

I don't think I would enjoy that no I would feel bad like dehumanizing I feel bad getting a pedicure like somebody

could do that put this ball into your pussy. There's a lady who blows bubbles. Can't wait to crank down to this. I keep the ball. You have to bring your own putter. I try to chip in.

Yeah. She can moisten it. Four playboys should do a video of that. Oh my God. A Riggs Daily 9. Trent Breaking 1. It's a whole series. Oh my god.

I'd watch that. I would definitely watch that. they should do that on only fans cash in noted all right do you want to can you play your queef okay uh i guess well i guess i can't pull it up on here hey you put a queef on the only fans yeah oh that's it oh many people pay for that yeah how many people yeah it was it was shocking how many people pay for it? Yeah, it was shocking. Yeah, so I played it for some of the guys. Because I had my headphones on, but I had my bass boosted,

and I thought I was in a bad neighborhood. Yeah. Sounds like one of those jiffy pops that you pop over the stove. Yeah, dude. It was shocking. Yeah. jiffy pops that you pop over the stove. Yeah, dude. It was shocking. Kate's queef sounds like... No. Sounds like a pit bull.

Snarling. Kate's pussy sounds like a bad neighborhood. Is this the 4th of July or is that Kate's pussy? They call her Katie Compton. That's right, they do. It'll clean up. Her asshole's gentrified.

They put high-rises in. It'll carry over. Her asshole's gentrified. They put high-rises in. It'll carry over. Just like Canal Street. Oh, it's awesome having a woman on the show. It adds a layer that really is helpful for me. Oh, great. Our thinly-veiled sexism got a little bit thicker. Glad to be of service.

Please subscribe. What is it? Is it Kate grabbing money or something? Katie money grabs. Katie money grabs. And it is like, it's probably annoying that I keep talking about it. No, no, no. But it is like addicting.

I'm getting guys sending me dick pics now. Oh, can you read the message you got? It is addicting. It's actually what we do on Tomorrow's EBT. Oh. Addicting. I'm getting guys sending me dick pics now Oh can you read the message you got That is a dick ting That's actually what we do on Tomorrow's EBT A dick ting I got a guy who sent me a picture It's a British person getting a

It's a dick ting Sweet chimney governor Have you had to reply to the dick pics Oh I'm replying to everybody I'm giving you your money's worth Are you shitting on their dicks Oh I'm down talking everybody Are you down talking the dicks I'm replying to everybody. I'm giving you your money's worth if you subscribe. Are you shitting on their dicks? Not like literally, but are you? Oh, I'm down talking everybody.

Are you down talking the dicks? I'm down talking everyone. I feel like I would just want someone to say something nice about my dick. Yeah. I don't really get the whole like humiliation thing. Me neither. I'd be like, if I had a dick, pick a certain one, and they were like fucking tiny ass. You should start that up.

Have a dick. Itch ass dick. Ask somebody's dick up. I would be like, damn. Who would sign up for that? It almost seems like there's more guys into humiliation. It does. I could use the call.

Yeah, yeah. If I had a bad day at work and I got a message like, hey, you have a giant dick. Oh, sick. Sweet, yeah. Not all that bad. Yeah. It's funny too, you can't use words like piss or pee or.

An only fan? You can say like pussy, I keep calling them cucks. You can't use words like piss or pee or... On OnlyFans? You can say like pussy, I keep calling them cucks. You can't use piss? No, but you can't use piss or pee or anything having to do with toilet humor. Oh. So I really had to get creative and switch it up. Don't people like, isn't that like a whole thing on OnlyFans? Aren't people like selling piss and stuff?

Yes, you gotta use extra E's or S's. What happened to that girl that sold her bathwater? Do you remember the one girl that was selling her part so much she went to the hospital? Oh, yeah. She was trying to fart so much that she was hospitalized. So the first girl, TJ, what did you say? Belle Delphine.

She was selling bathwater. She made a ton of money. Then she got canceled for doing an OnlyFans set that was like kidnap theme. She was doing like a rape fantasy video. I was going to say that. It was like, yeah. She's back though. Is she back?

I'm sure she's doing fine. She's so back. Not that I would know. It's weird that you said OnlyFans set. You know the lingo pretty well. The niche in the dozen should be porn for sure. That would be an awesome niche. I think when people have funny niches in the dozen should be porn for sure. That would be an awesome niche. Yeah.

I think when people have like funny niches in the dozen, it improves the show. Because like the funniest thing to me that's ever happened at Barstool is Smitty choosing Jaws as his niche in the dozen. I'm like, we searched his Twitter. He's never tweeted about Jaws. Nothing. Like didn't even know he liked the movie, but that was his niche. Good niche. It's like, what is your movie, but that was his niche. Good niche. It's like, what is your guys?

What's your niche? Pokemon? No. Frank made me change it. I don't know if I have one. 90s cartoons. Oh, that's a good one. I'm 2-0 in mine.

90s Nickelodeon. Fuck yeah. PS2. Did you miss one Pokemon? Yeah. I'm like 3-1 in Pokemon, but it's all right. Okay. That's a C, brother.

That's a C. Yeah. That's a C. That's a C. Alright, anybody have anything to add? Let's wrap it up. Chap, sign us off. See you guys later. It's the act. It's your Star of the Act style. It's the act Peace out.