The Yak - Kate Reveals Some CRAZY Stories From Her Past | The Yak 7-10-24

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Mook is voting for Mr. BeastYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. Let's see what I got. Rowback. I don't know. Rowback, tees, polos, crewnecks, joggers, the best, the best, the best in the business. We'll make you look handsome. Yes.

And handsome guys just wear it. It seems like it. It's both. What do I got? July 10th, happy 44th, Jessica Simpson. Wow. Quick, name a song. With nothing but a t-shirt on, I feel beautiful.

I didn't know. Yeah, I don't know any of those any of no that's the only one i can think of hmm i just never mind well oh i'm not gonna get horny early yeah okay huh all right yeah that's what i was gonna say sorry carry on her reality show with nick lachey that was one of the first big ones i'm super into. Big ones. Thought they were forever. She thought, that's what it was called, right? Nick and Jessica Forever?

Probably. And I believed it. Oh, no, it was called Newlyweds. Oh. What's up? She thought Tuna was chicken. She really did. Well, she was acting being dumb, right?

That was when. The bimbo era. That's when it was hot for girls to be dumb. It was so hot. It was so hot. Was it? Yeah. It was so hot. Was it? Yeah. It was like a big thing.

She's like, oh my God, she's so dumb. Dumb blondes. John Mayer called her sexual napalm. Oh my God. Mike again. Get in the one. Get in the one. Get in the one.

John Mayer also said his penis was racist. Oh, that's right. He's had a few. He's not, but his penis was racist oh that's right he's not a few he's not but his penis is what context was that wasn't a playboy interview i believe about his dating history oh that's kind of awesome he that was that when he called jessica simpson sexual napalm is that a good thing yes my God. I would be flattered if somebody. Called you sexual napalm? Yes.

Napalm, like, melts your face off. Yeah. Yeah. Is that him saying that she's diseased? No. Deteriorate your face if she rides you? No, like, she's so hot, she'll melt you. Yeah.

You're just. I always thought that was a slap in the face at her, like calling her bad. No. No, no, no. Like she burns away anything sexual. No, no, no. She's dynamite.

Right, exactly. Yeah, right? A wildcat. I don't like this chair. I don't like this seat. I don't like this. I like the man bun, though. Oh, thanks, man.

It's nice. The hair's getting long. I need to get a haircut but I'm too lazy Nicky you look good it's just a trim this is the haircut I've had I've just been wearing a hat yeah no it's like a I couldn't find a hat that looked cool with this weird color shirt

yeah what color is that is that olive no maybe I think I hit it on the nose yeah Is that Olive? No. Maybe. I think I hit it on the nose, yeah. I don't know. Why did Jessica Simpson get brought up? It's her birthday?

It's her 44th. 44? It's also Will Smith's from the Royals. You know what's crazy about it? When you say that? Wait, Will Smith from what? The Royals, the baseball club. Oh, okay.

One of two. There's also a Will Smith on the Dodgers. Did the Will Smith that played for the Saints die? Yeah, probably. Damn. Sure did. Who else we got? Is that Mason Thames? He's always like showcased the internet.

Who's Queen Cheryl? Who's Speed McQueen? Is she happy? I think she's trying to be. Oh, she just went viral the other day. She's trying to do IVF with her young boyfriend, and it's not going well. Well, she's 64.

I know. Why is it not going well? You know what? Zero guesses. She's married to Caron. I want to see who she's married to Caron. I want to see who she's married to. She's the most popular 63-year-old. That's huge.

No, she's not. Eddie Murphy. This is outrageous. George Clooney. This might be the most famous age. This is outrageous. Wait, who's that bottom right? George Lopez.

Jane Lynch. These are just the star stars. Queen Cheryl. Dennis Rodman. No, she's more famous. Colin Firth is 16. Antonio Banderas. Susan Boyle.

Holy shit, this might be the most famous age. So Kate, who is Queen Cheryl? She went super viral on TikTok. Wait, is that Joko Widodo? Yeah, yeah. And you can tell. Mayor of Sukhacharya. The governor of Jakarta.

Indonesia is huge. Population-wise? I don't know. Their culture hasn't really spread. What's their food? What's their dish? I couldn't tell spread like what's their food what's their dish who's their celebrity yeah i've never been to an indonesian restaurant like i've never even jakarta is a is it a top 10 populist maybe top five it's huge java most populous island

god i was gonna say it's um this tell me how you feel about this it's thought bubbles in the pepper corn so uh wendy pepper corn and thought bubbles it's cloudy in chicago is that it's a little tough it's a little tough it's a little it's a little tough but 75 and thought bubbles in the peppercorn i was gonna lead with that but i got nervous as fuck they're not gonna like it no you guys love it so i'm on top of the world i'm on cloud nine yeah i guess it is a thought bubble though yeah right Thought bubble knife. Yeah, right. No, that's pretty fly. Yeah.

That was in your notes? Yeah. Are you just, is your phone at memory, is your phone at capacity so you just have to say all these? You'll need some to make space for it. Oh, yeah. And rest in peace to, the sweetest peace to Betty Dukes, who fought for gender discrimination as a Walmart employee. Betty Dukes. Yeah. We look as a Walmart employee. Betty Dukes? Can we look her up? She doesn't have a page.

She doesn't have any images online? She fought for discrimination? What side was she on? She fought against it. Just women saying pay me less in front of a Walmart. Let's go note for note. No, buddy. No. Betty Dukes? walmart let's go note for note no buddy no no betty do my heart out of my notes ab damn rest in peace betty

yeah kate um let me go grocery shopping for you now okay all right we do need to go okay no it's not we. It's he. He's going for you. You got to go deliver him to your house. Yeah. Strawberries, raspberries, blackberries. Why don't you let him also get the stuff? Pick it out.

How about I guess? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Funyuns. Baja Blast. Definitely for the kids. Yeah.

By all means. Do you guys actively snack at home Like on little snacks Boy do I Yes but no I do which is why I don't buy them I can't walk past I want to save myself for the meal Thoroughly enjoy the meal

I can't walk past Meals at the vet What you got stacked I'm a meal guy. I'm a Lara bar guy. You always have. I'll grab the orange sorbet Lara bars. They're fucking awesome.

I'll grab one every time I pass the pantry. Hmm. I'm a huge chips with hummus or like chips and salsa. Any kind of dipping thing. Yeah. Roasted red pepper hummus. Yeah. Dip some just chicken in it.

Dip chicken? That's a meal. You can dip anything in hummus. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Chocolate? There's chocolate hummus. Yeah. Dip some just chicken in it. Dip chicken? That's a meal. You can dip anything in hummus. Yeah, I get. Really? Yeah. Chocolate? There's chocolate hummus.

There's chocolate hummus? Yep. I'll never try it, but. Is it hard to make? Hummus? Yeah. Oh, I'll never make it. I heard it was easy to make.

I'm sure it is. How'd you make it? By the vat. I don't make anything. Where do you buy a vat? Where do you buy a vat? Restaurant Depot? I bet.

Yeah. Restaurant Depot? Yeah. You ever been to one of those? No. It it's a pleasure house you've been to a restaurant depot yeah i fucked around in one oh yeah just check it out my only i don't i don't snack the only snacks i have right now are like fortune cookies and ice cream sandwiches fortune cookies yeah i save them for later no you get meals that are so big they think it's for four people. Dude, that's the worst. Because I've been there a lot. Yeah, when they send you like four sets of silverware.

It's super embarrassing. Yeah. McDonald's, when you order McDonald's, they put the drinks in a separate bag. And so you have two giant garbage bags. Massive bags. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah. And they're like the most inconvenient bags of all time.

They're huge. And they don't fold well. They're paper. Yeah, it's branding for them. They're all over my apartment. What's the scenario you get these? Uber Eats McDonald's. When you Uber Eats McDonald's? Yeah.

You ever been there before? Yeah, just the other day I was Uber Eats McDonald's. No way. Fasoli. The Fasoli tweet. $72. $72. $72. We need to talk about

Nikki Smokes' mouth. Yeah. I hate to say it, but I've been there. I didn't go to the dentist for like five or six years just because I hate going so much. And then when I finally went,

it was like disaster and then I spent a whole year going to appointments to catch up I haven't been in so long I've just decided it's too late now when's the last time you went right before I started working here a whole year ago yeah so not that that's not too long no that's fine you're good I don't have any cavities I floss a lot. Water pick. Tongue scrape. Okay. Oh, wow.

You tongue scrape. Yeah, I like it. Anybody else do that? Tongue. Yeah. No. Are you worried about losing your buds? I'd be fine with that. I think.

Okay. I think if I had to lose one sense, it would be taste. You would eat healthier. It would be good for your life. That happened to COVID people. Yeah. They were like in support groups for it. Yeah. Yeah. It would eat healthier. It would be good for your life. That happened to COVID people. Yeah. They were like in support groups for it. Yeah.

Yeah, it would get depressing. I don't know if they liked it. Smell? You'd rather have smell than death? Yeah, I would get rid of smell. I'd get rid of smell. I keep convincing myself I'd be like chill with deafness. You wouldn't?

No. Yeah. I think it'd just be like a get out of fucking conversation pass obviously you're deaf I don't think you'd get into conversation you want it just as that Kyle your whole life is built around talking

I think yeah I'd get back to tweeting I'd blog more if I was deaf blog tweet I don't got shit to say right now you're so antisocial you want to go deaf this would be a great time it was a dark point stand up and walk away this is a good podcast for the deaf this one yeah you've already tried to exit are you gonna go grocery shopping right now i did try no i'm not gonna do that okay i'm not

expecting any of you guys to but uh did you watch jerry search for a friend right now i did try no i'm not gonna do that okay i'm not expecting any of you guys to but uh did you watch jerry search for a friend last night i did yes yeah i missed it how was it yeah some good guys i saw the clip of not travis apple bobbing yeah that's so we had john anthony come back in he doesn't live close does he he lives on long island i think he's here more than brandon he took two flights to get here and that's four seats exactly yeah and he almost won why do we make him do this this he got away from three two one You gotta wait for him. Three, two, one.

I can't do it! Oh my god. Oh my god. All right, all right, all right. That's it, that's it, that's it. Fair. We had to call it. We couldn't do it anymore because too many of the guys broke the cast.

He's so wet. He was far and away the favorite, crushing every competition, crushing all the social aspects, the dialogue. He's the man. But then it came to the blue-collar work. They had to build a shelf. That's important. It's important for Jerry. And Twan, they were the only team that didn't build a shelf that's important it's important for Jerry yeah and Tuan they were the only team that didn't finish a shelf they didn't get

the legs oh shoot did you meet any any friends because you were you were hosting right yeah I think I could have been friends the guy Bryce I liked some side deals so I was I asked him like hey would you be cool with me as your second option? And they said no. So Bryce was wearing a shirt with him and Jerry on it.

I was like, I can't get Bryce. Can you say who won? Yeah, it was live yesterday. It was, no, I can't. I forget. Oh, no, his name was Nick. But Jerry happened to choose the guy. All the other guys were, like, Chicago, here, maybe Philly.

He was from Georgia. So picked a friend he might not see. But Jerry gave him his number and they're going to play like Xbox together. PlayStation. One of the things that shocked me, there was a guy here who was like, yeah, my wife's at home with our five-week-old baby, but here I am. Yeah. Like, holy shit.

Yeah. People really wanted to be Jerry's friend. A Tuesday night, 8 to 11 sorry babe the one guy i don't want to say who lied to his work and he made it quite far oh shoot i think that's awesome yeah it was yeah jerry said i was talking to him and he's like i drove him home and like we really enjoyed our conversation. He really likes his best friend to the hotel. Honestly, Jerry as a sober guy, a dad, how would he make friends? It's hard.

Like we were talking about yesterday, it's just got to be who your kid hangs around at the playground. You're kind of forced into, no, it's so hard. Yeah. Good for him. It's hard now. I think having your best friend in Georgia might be a good thing, too. Absence will make the heart grow farther. Yeah.

See him a couple times a year. That's perfect. When's the last time you made a non-work friend? I always get close. Yeah. We get to step one, and then I'm like, I'm just tired. I think I'm close with motherfucking Greg. With Greg?

Yeah. Yeah, barefoot Greg. That's a good boy. But I haven't gotten his number yet, and I can't just ask Moresh for it. That's a solo mission. Yeah. That's like you've got to break the ice and be the guy to ask for it, which is scary. Yeah.

Asking a guy for his number. That rejection. What if you get rejected for a guy that you want to be friends with? Nah, man. No, what's your Snapchat? Oh. You start Snapchatting Greg? Titus, what's your snapchat oh you start snapchatting greg titus what's last it's it's hard because like do so non-work you would count like people by work do you mean bar store do you mean like

the industry as a whole i mean the fucking industry brother yeah because that's what's hard is like i don't know if i'm friends with those people like your your contacts you know um yeah i don't i don't i don't make friends i don't have that many friends yeah all rolodex yeah yeah it's like i there's so many dudes that i love and respect but i don't have the time slots i'll see a dude and i'll be like i fucking need him and uh more often than not i squ squander. Yeah. I don't think I'm a good hang is my issue. I'm afraid if they get to know me beyond surface level, they'll be like, oh, God. So I just keep it.

I'm a little hush. I don't really pay attention. I hate myself. I like eating alone. I'm a loser. Yeah. Those are all deterrents for sure. Yeah.

But what's something you would want to do with a friend besides drink? want a euchre team i want to go to i want to go to euchre tournaments i'll play euchre with you okay cool i love euchre i've been looking i've been looking to play you have you yeah yeah all right i'm a midwest guy yeah yeah i want to go play euchre my parents would have like 10 hour long west virginia yeah oh huh let's play some euchre what is euchre card game card game it's a's a blast. Everyone who plays it loves it. Nobody likes it. And they won't let you say, I don't want to play. Do you have to be smart? It's true.

No. Being the fourth person in a group where three people really want to play Euchre. You can't opt out of Euchre. Yeah, you can't opt out. Yeah, but you're very dependent on your teammate. They'll sell it to you so hard, then they'll shame you so bad for your performance. Is it cult-y like Mahjong?

Is that cult-y? Yeah, people that play Mahjong are like, I play fucking Mahjong. Well, there's just like a language barrier. Chinese people. Jewish girls, too. Jewish girls play Mahjong? Big time.

Big time. Big time. This is so big time that nobody's heard of the Jewish girls playing. Only me, yeah. But Euchre, it's like, what, just Midwest poker? Yeah. It's like... No, it's not like poker. It's a team-based game.

Midwest, yeah. What's the game it's similar to? Rummy? Rummy? Yeah. Spades? I don't know what spades is You used to get real into spades Let us teach you one day I'll play Every time I play a game I'm like this is the most fun I've had in months

You've had board game nights at mine I love board games I love any type of game I think adults are deprived of games Yeah you're right Because adults crave games just as much as kids. Yeah, but it's just playing online video games is so much easier now. Yeah. And more fun. And board games

over consoles aren't fun. No, you have to play in person. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're in the mood for a game, firing up your video games is way easier than calling your friends and saying, let's have Settlers of Catan night at my place next Tuesday. It's a tough sell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's have Settlers of Catan night at my place next Tuesday.

It's a tough sell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's so many dudes that, like, try to start poker night. And it's like, I'm never, I'm not going. I'm not going. You have to, like, commit five hours, maybe more. You're drinking.

So I like the semi-creative but easy, low-effort games like we did with Game Night. Like drawing games and guessing games. See, I like the real flex. You like the saws. Because when that aha moment hits you. You like strategic games. Yeah, I like games that are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you played Seven Wonders?

That's my favorite game. I know, the way you're describing it. I see you as the guy that everyone else is going this path, and you're like, I'm going to fucking go the other way. I'm going to go culture while everybody else is trying to go science. And then watch the big reveal at the end. There's this game called Scythe that I used to play with my buddy Logan, and the box for the board game was this taller than this chair and wider than this chair

and it's the most like you can't invite anybody else to play that takes four days to read the nobody's coming over yeah to learn that and then set it up i don't want to learn get right into it that's the barrier the the barrier to entry to some board games is tough for people like the the reading the the directions that are yeah i do feel like most people need to have a good teacher i'm good at teaching games most people just get to a point where they're like fuck this let's just play and figure it out which is how which is how and why uh nobody plays monopoly correctly like the guy game is dog shit well you know who wins after the first yeah it doesn, isn't the guy who created Monopoly, like, everybody plays it

wrong? Like, nobody actually plays Monopoly the way... You have to buy the properties you land on. You can't until you pass the board once. You have to buy the properties? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, there's something like that. It's probably still dog shit, but I don't think there's ever actually been a single official

Monopoly game played, ever. Monopoly's gotten biased. I didn't think there's ever actually been a single official Monopoly game played ever. Monopoly's gotten biased. I didn't know that. It's the game people think of when board games, and it's... I don't think I've ever had fun playing it. Mm-mm. I like being the thimble. No.

I'm a thimble. You're Kate, your shoe. Yes. Mook chooses Battleship. Kyle chooses Scotty Dog. Titus is also Scotty Dog. I was going to be Scotty Dog, yeah. I was a Scotty Dog guy for sure. Big Scotty Dog. I was going to be Scotty Dog, yeah. I was a Scotty Dog guy for sure.

Big Scotty Dog guy. TJ, your top hat. I'm a classic blah, blah, blah. According to an official survey, most Monopoly players have never actually read the rules but rather learned from other players taking the word as gospel. Yeah. Oh.

We've all been playing Monopoly wrong our entire life. It probably still sucks, but... I played a lot in COVID over the video game version of it, which is one of the worst video games of all time because it has an 80% freezing rate. What? And there's no soft restart. Why would they put that out?

No, it's not intentional, but 80% of games I've played on it have froze two hours in, and then it's just, it's over. There's no like, there's no save left off. There's no saving. So you play for two hours,

fight the whole time and then it freezes and no one wins. That's funny. It's awesome. What can we play now? Yeah, I'd play a game now. I definitely, right now I think Yahtzee is perfect.

I love Yahtzee, but it's, I don't know if that's entertaining. Uno? Uno, Skippo. What if we made the interns dress up in outfits and tumble around like dice? And tumble around. Like there are Yahtzee dice.

That could work. Yeah, I see the vision. All right, let's get the interns dressed up in these dice. Let's get them cubed and we'll have them jump off the top floor down onto here. Right, exactly. Six-sided dice. Right. That should be pretty simple.

Let's tape them all together. It's perfect. Paint them. Yeah. Yeah. Let's throw it together now. I would love to play Love Letter with you guys. What's that?

You have to earn kisses. Oh. Love Letter? Yeah, you'd love it. What's like a no prop game, like a body game? A body game? You just need yourself. Twister.

Charades. Chicken fight. Chicken fight. Chicken fight. I don't think I've ever actually chicken fought. In a pool? Yeah. What?

I don't think I've ever actually chicken fought. That was pool? Yeah. What? I don't think I've ever actually chicken fought. That was like the only thing to do. I agree. I disagree. I could name easily 100 other things. Yeah, probably. But like. No, I get what you're saying.

No, I was more of like an above ground pool run around in a circle. So it was a whirlpool. And then that was fun. That was fucking fun, dude. Yeah. Fill in a pool with water balloons. I never did that. Oh, man. And then making the whirlpool, and then you go the other way, and you try and dodge them. Oh, that sounds fun as fuck.

They're coming at you. We should get a pool in here. I was just going to say. We could get an above-ground pool in here, I bet. We're working on it. What? We're working on it? Blue Trap Day Friday. Oh, we're trying to get an above ground pool? We gotta put White Boy Rick in something that's big enough to hold White Boy Rick. He's a big boy.

Yeah. We did some Amazon searching yesterday. Friday should be fun. Oh my god. I don't know how to mix 400 gallons of oobleck, but we're gonna figure it out. If it doesn't work, at least he'll be all slimy and goopy. Yeah, he'll be all gross. We bought an above-ground portable koi pond that has clear sides so you can see.

Very cool. I like that. When's the last time you guys hit a pinata? Great question. Yeah. Holy shit. I'm out here doing the Lord's work today. It was at a Pizza Hut birthday party that was common

where we lived yeah I had a birthday party at Pizza Hut but it wasn't mine why was it so common did they have like did they give out free shit to you they had a back room we just liked the pizza so much I think all it took was like you got the buffet

included and had a back private room yeah the block parties here have a lot of piñata action it's very your neighborhood yeah a lot of a lot of fireworks a lot of piñatas good stuff but yeah no every block party i've been to has a piñata moment which is what are what's in the piñatas just tiny shitty candy oh it's still candy yeah still candy little toys tiny tops we evolved the pinatas to anything else in them no i was at a bachelor party can we do a pinata friday as well yeah yeah mister wait let's all get one and we'll put our own stuff our own stuff yeah yeah oh i'm so down yeah i've been to bachelor

parties where it's a penis and then you you hit it and tiny liquor bottles come out. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's a good time right there. Mm-hmm. Oh, everyone, BYOP. BYOP on Fridays. BYOP.

Women do love the penis stuff. Yeah, they love the phallic. We do. The straw halls. Yeah. The headbands with the bouncy dicks. Yeah. It's kind of immature. It's a little like. Men just cheat. the headbands with the bouncy dicks. It's kind of immature.

It's a little like... Men just cheat. Yeah. We just fuck other women. You guys going out with a mug with an extremely graphic vagina on the front of it. Tough. Also, ours aren't as cute as your guys'. guys's dudes would try to fuck it though that's why we

don't have vaginas on our like if you try to fuck it you had hats that like were pussies it's not like at one point like some guy would be in the corner like oh yeah i'd be on your shoulders fucking yeah fucking that shit yeah it's a big, like, women are like, last dick forever. Yeah. And then the blowjob shots. Yep. We don't do, there's no pussy eating shots. Wow.

Because, I mean, men, no, it's not our last pussy forever. We know, we're not done. We're not stopping at the altar. We also don't eat pussy in my headphones. Oh, no, I don't uh no nope i used to do at bachelorette parties my big thing that i would bring was a jello jiggler that was just a giant dick that's definitely your lady you had a dick mold uh i would actually do a whole tray and then i would carve the penis and then i put the rest of it in little cups may do mango ladies is the best flavor with but then i would bring the tray would

have the huge cock on it and you just can you make that for us friday i would love to yes i haven't done that in forever yes oh i would love to okay I feel like you orchestrate a lot of little activities and crafts. I used to. Yes. You still do. I'm very into that stuff. No, Mothers Day. Kate, I think you need to get married for content.

I think we need the bachelorette party, the wedding. You gotta ask Beef. All of it. The way we're talking about it here. Yeah. Right on the basketball court? Yeah. Upside down.

Beef, if you're listening, roll up right now. And pose. Pose. That would be're listening, roll up right now. And pose. Pose. That would be electric. He might. He might. Yeah, Kate, you're going to be like a great like homeroom mom. I do love, I have all kinds of crafts out all the time.

I do love crafting. We got googly eyes on everything right now. Did you try to bring that energy to the Middle East? Um, yeah. How was that? Was that met with um crafting with the boys after yeah um i found that after somebody dies bringing out the pipe cleaners was always like oh shit what's next um i liked that uh when Decipated their hometown Yeah yeah

We put googly eyes on the rockets Wait I wouldn't run from that Oh yeah I'd be laughing I'd be giggling and snickering And shit then I'm gone We made it fun Did people write cool Like I've seen videos of like people writing like cool shit on rockets is that like a yeah though people did that what do they say like naming the tanks funny

names and like blah blah blah yeah no they actually did that people would do that yeah but i'm putting googly googly eyes was our thing that was our thing. That was our... A clown nose. Yeah. On the end of it. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Damn. What was the most fun you had while still near danger? Ooh. Yeah. We played Risk all the time at night.

We would have big... Everybody would be gathered around. We'd smoke smoke cigarettes like chain smoke oh hell yeah and you'd get everybody would bring all the junk that got shipped to us that like so it would be like all this junk food cigarettes a game of risk did uh did toby keith ever sing for you what was a celeb i had to go see him twice you had to yes they made you you did not have a choice rest in peace yeah once i was up in a place called kandahar and he just happened to be there and they're like everybody's got to go isn't that

really aleppo was no no that was oh the kandahar valley kandahar valley oh okay it was like a whole big oh okay kandahar was like a huge place that had like a pizza hut on it and i happened to be there at my birthday party yeah it wasn't the k candahar pizza their pinatas were yeah they were human yeah it was pressure cookers yeah a bunch of like screws yeah but then like i was just there for a week doing something and then as soon as i got back down to my other base he i guess that's where he was going next i had to go again you were a roadie i had to see him twice in like two weeks so did you have fun the second time no it's we'll put a boot up your you guys go crazy no people did at the candahar concert was pretty cool people were like all about it you don't drink do you no you can't drink people though would send like

they would sneak liquor like in the middle of a cheese ball barrel or like some and sometimes it would get through and sometimes it wouldn't but yeah not me did you do any magicians ever come out i wish no they had like the cheerleaders like the dallas cheerleaders or whatever cheerleaders would be on the big bases and like comedians i think i saw jeff ross there once and uh they would do like marathons on the bigger bases in afghanistan yeah like full marathons and this isn't interesting i'm sorry no it is very i think i have like a thousand questions give me some questions to ask that you want to answer yeah i wish that's how you should go i don't really the my first tour was like out in the boondoggles. And then the second time I was on a big base and like only left occasionally to like just do random stuff. What's the worst tattoos guys have gone and gotten?

Oh, man. He made the news. He was famous. He was an EOD bomb tech who had a huge tattoo of Sarah Palin on his ass. And he went viral for that. One of my buddies has a stick figure, two stick stick figures fucking doggy style on his right butt cheek and then a cameraman on the left butt cheek filming it which is a good one um because you guys get paid but only get to spend it like you can't always spend it right so yeah there she is there's there's tattoo are there a lot of tattoo parlors

on base everybody does it's barracks tats there there's a lot of tattoo parlors on base? No, everybody does. It's barracks tats. There's a lot right off base, but overseas and like in the barracks, people do tats on themselves. I had my buddy, shout out Chris, full Christian, Chris Martin has, you want it? Like over his crotch. So many bad tattoos all the time. And you weren't supposed, like you had to ask your command before you could get them, but nobody ever did, and so. Is this, like, a temporary personality brought out by war, or they, that's just who they

are as people? A lot of people, that's just who they are as people. They're, like, wild cards. I feel like you don't just join the military because you're, like, already having a great time in life and things are going well. Like, some people what if we found out big cat just enlisted yeah he's gone somebody that's doing really well him and brandon are that's where brandon is yeah if you read the blotters of on like monday mornings of the kind of trouble that troops get into it's like the craziest shit um and they were always just coming back like the

lower enlisted like just randomly getting married to like the the cliches are true like marrying the local stripper buying the mustang 47 percent interest but like it's cliche but it's true like yeah it just happens all the time what was your first purchase um a hyundai sonata and as i pulled out of the lot i went to use the turn signal and it just went clack and just the both the windshield wiper clicker and the they just both snapped off and were hanging on by wires oh my windows didn't work so i had to drive around the california heat with my just my elbow keeping the door open so i didn't yeah sick yeah have any of you guys experienced an airbag no i have a phobia yes so afraid i did in high school we were uh my buddy was driving we slid

off the road down to a ditch and hit a tree and it was pretty pretty fucking scary yeah i'm shaking up after like a fender bender so i can't't. Did it hurt? Yeah, it did. I was in shock more than anything else. We walked away from it fine and everything, but, yeah, it was really icy roads in the back roads of Hendricks County, Indiana. And, yeah, just return. He was, like, 16 or something. We weren't even going that fast.

Just the roads was super icy, slid off, like, went down to a ditch. I didn't really have a life flash before my eyes type thing, but I do remember the airbag just like, like whatever the chemicals are that like spray on it. Oh yeah, oh yeah. They're like powder. It's just like the smell was distinct. You feel like you're gonna suffocate in the car.

Yeah, yeah. But I was fine. I mean, I just like immediately was like, fuck, and like opened the door and like got out and it was just like kind of going like that. But it's not fun. I don't recommend it. You don't need to experience it experience it i don't think so the move when you start slipping on ice is what pump the brakes i think that's what they say don't seat belt off what tuck and

roll oh yeah immediately take the seat belt off and then pump the brakes or do you keep the seatbelt on i'm i've heard conflicting advice i would bet i think you gotta leave it on you leave it on sure i don't know i just want to make sure i think before any accident they recommend that you take the seatbelt right off if you can if you're sleeping you take it off that way your body's more fluid right that's well no your body can be more fluid if you're also drunk right so be drunk take your seat is that why the drunk drivers rarely get hurt and it's the other people they rarely get hurt well no they if they if somebody oftentimes the person they run into oh yeah i think yeah their body's more loose yeah i'm tense as fuck me too i'm down four kate excluded because you are uh you were in the military obviously so i mean we kind

of know your answer but the rest of us what's the what's the most high pressure situation you're you think you're like prepared to handle oh my god um i think about this often we had a dude have a seizure on a rediscovering america that was working with us and i ran up and put my wallet in his mouth yeah he handled it well i i threw in the towel yeah i walked away is that what you're supposed to do so they don't know the em i thought that was what it was so you don't bite your tongue off uh the emt came up he's like never do that he's like you can bite through it and then choke on that i'm like fuck i thought i was like like the guy came i was like i got it handled bud and he's like get out of the way i'm I'm good in that kind of medical crisis.

I always think about if I'm in half. If you're cut in half. Like severed in half. You're not joking because you've brought this up off air a lot. What do you mean, though? What severs you in half? Like in the beginning of The Sixth Sense. It's happened in The Sixth Sense, but that's when he needed to be.

He was pinned. No, no. Signs. Signs. That's what it was. the sixth sense but that's when he needed to be like he was like pinned no no signs signs that's the car pins him against the tree and they're like you're only going to be alive for as long as the car is against the pinning you to the tree oh one of those but are you prepared for that or is it just something you've you're you have i actually then i accidentally, this is horrific, like a guy who was severed in half by a train and still alive. Oh, no way. I saw that video too. I regret that phase of my life where I seek that out.

Yeah. And it just glued to my heart. How did he handle it? Yeah, how was he? Was he prepared for that? He was blasé kind of. Yeah. I don't know if it was.

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm prepared. I'm not prepared for that yet. I don't know if it was... Yeah. Yeah. But I'm prepared. I'm not prepared for that yet. I would tell them to keep the car on me forever. I wouldn't want to die. Right? That's like the freakiest situation you can be in.

You just live against the tree the rest of your life. Yeah. There's old man terrain. Your family comes visit you. Come here. I think about that. I think about bears all the time the rest of your life. There's old man terrain. Your family comes visit you. Come here. I think about that. I think about bears all the time. Bears horrify me.

My family in Jersey just regularly has bears in their backyard. Oh, they're everywhere. But are they black bears? They're smaller, but. I think black bears are kind of like dogs. They're kind of just afraid of you. Yeah. I don't know though yeah black bears

are the more choking alone i always think about that i think about that a lot i never had that thought until nick brought it up one time yeah i had a close call with a steak um i want to kind of buy the sucker i know i as a parent i get target ads for that like 24 7 now and i feel like i should who's the guy from Jersey Shore? He had the video. His son was eating. What do you call it? Gnocchi?

Yeah. Or whatever. And they ran and got one. And that's like what saved their son. I was like, I got to buy one. If you choke alone, you lean over the back of your chair, right? Yeah. My mom sent me the video.

It's like a big pump. You just have to carry it around with you everywhere. I can keep it in like your kitchen. Yeah. Well, like you go out to eat. I guess you go out to i guess there are other people there but like in the moment would you think to go grab it though that's what i always wonder no that's what i'm saying i'm not prepared for like any crisis at all i panic when there's something that's kind of stuck in my throat i i thought about the the choking thing and it's like i eat alone what percent of me a lot of

meatballs almost every dinner and it's like, I was thinking about what I would do and I would just have to like get up and like choke at my neighbor's door and just keep That would be horrifying. You'd have to run and choke.

Run into the streets. Yeah. I'd be almost too I think I would be Choking and running. Embarrassed. I'd be in the world. Kate, you and I,

I think we would not want to bother. I would like wait in line at a restaurant. Yeah. I think I would like strip down naked and just would wait in line at a restaurant. I think I would strip down naked and just start running through the hallways of my apartment building.

I don't know. I just feel like that would be the right... Nobody's going to want to... I'm the naked guy. They would think you're crazy. I think maybe you just by your door keep a little sign that says, I'm choking. You could grab that and run out. That's smart.

We should sell those. An I'm choking sign has the yak symbol in the corner you guys can hang out by your door yeah and then i also think about like uh home invaders like if some dude like if i just woke up and some dude was in my apartment i would hate that i think it would be worse if like the dude wasn't outwardly violent yeah he was just silent yeah it'd be scarier i always wonder so i have the keychain that gets like crazy fucking loud and it blinks and then i keep two broken off golf clubs in my car and pepper spray but i always wonder like would that make it worse like would i escalate it and piss them off more i'm about to kill this bitch twice oh she's gonna learn yeah my eyeballs hurt and i'm gonna really fuck her up yeah i don't know i had an ex who got pepper sprayed and he like

ripped his shirt off and got even angrier and they had to ace room wait you're so polite you're worried about aggravating a home invader i don't know what context did he get pepper yeah he was at a bar and outside 29 Palms California if you know you know nothing good happens out there and he got in a fight with some local townies and it escalated to like a whole bar fight the cops came they were trying to like wrestle him down and they couldn't so they had to pepper spray him and instead of like slowing him down and like turned him all I like he he hooked up and then they had to taste the shit out of him

were you dating him at the time? we were engaged yeah so anyways that was probably like a one off freak incident no no oh god no actually he also got arrested outside of Jack in the Box Anyways. That was probably like a one-off freak incident. No, no. Oh, God, no. Actually, he also got arrested outside of Jack in the Box for a fist fight in the drive-thru.

Wait, what was it over? He was trying to order. He tried to walk through and order. And some other guy was like, you can't do that. And he's like, oh, yeah. And they started fist fighting in the drive-th drive-through of the Jack in the Box. And then. Were you there?

Not for that one. Thank God. So what was your thought? Like when your fiance was getting into this giant comical bar fight? Oh, well, I wasn't there for that one either. I was home on pre, I was about to deploy. And so I was home on leave when I got the call that, and, but I did eventually have to drive him to 29 Palms to deal with court stuff it was fine it was good bonding this i i've said this

on here before but our like first date kind of was to a padres game have i told this i'm sure i don't remember this um and our one of the first sergeants when he was giving out free tickets to a padre game and he's like would you like to go to this game with me? And on the way down, it was like a group of us kind of, but he had asked me to go. And on the way down, I was like, wow, he's being really goofy.

I didn't realize he was like hammer drunk already. And we get there and we hit up some bars beforehand. And I'm like, oh no, he's really drunk. We get into the stadium and he's like, I'm going to get a hot dog and some beers. And I was like, okay, I'll meet you back at the seat. Never saw him again.

This is the man you... I ended up marrying. Married. Yes, I'm going to get a hot dog and some beers. And I was like, okay, I'll meet you back at the seat. Never saw him again. This is the man you. I ended up marrying. Yes, I married this guy. Is this first date? This is like our first date. And I know. What the fuck? Wait, I waited so long.

I watched the fireworks show after the game. And I was like, maybe. Well, it turns out he got so drunk. He ran out of the stadium and got hit by a car and then he got arrested but they were like oh you're a marine we're gonna take you to the drunk tank

and sober you up but then he ended up trying to fight the person who was like bringing him Gatorade and so then they sent him to the real jail and so that I didn't see him the rest of the night. Wow. And the second date. That was the first date. I said, this guy's fun.

I said, this guy is. Would you say you prioritize fun? Yeah. Well, I can see it. In my early 20s. It's an important quality. I prioritize fun. Especially in your early 20s.

There was a bunch of, we were living in Southern California, our first ever ever real paychecks a lot of us were like total shitheads and we had a lot of time on our hands so how did he apologize you ended up apologizing to him yeah profusely did you bail him out we had I mean oh my god I'm sorry I saw the fireworks without you I shouldn't have looked I wish I could go back through the text from um hey I don't want to bother you but like where are you it's the seventh inning oh that's so sad if you're if you're stumbling out of the stadium drunk and getting hit by a car just thumbs up this yeah yeah just don't even worry about just text me tomorrow so you were with a group of people yep did you did you what did you tell them?

Like you went back alone? I wish, so this guy, Jacob, Jacob Williams. We were, he and I went like searching for him after the game because none of us knew what had happened to him yet. Except he had sent me a text that said, got hit by a car.

It was like very vague. I was like, what? That's pretty specific yeah and then we had to like go hunting for we asked like people around and they're like oh he probably got arrested if he's a marine he's probably this drunk tank it was a whole journey we spent this whole journey trying to find him and then uh once your command finds out there's a whole different law system in the military so they take over and it's like out of your control but as punishment our whole unit had to wear we had to

wear charlies and serve cotton candy to kids on the beach what are charlie you got this you got punished for this oh the whole like 50 people got punished for this yeah but because i was there i was like one of the main wait because he got too drunk yeah they're huge on group punishment in the military so if like one person fucks up it was the whole thing did he get punished oh yeah yeah but he was such a good marine like he was like this big tough like he was so good at everything that certain people in the military get passes time and time again if they're like really fucking good at what they do and other people not so much yeah i'm i'm on hinge right now i think i'm going to propose a first date to a girl and be like you you want to, I'll go get hit by a car if you want.

The date doesn't end until you go to jail. That is an adventure. It worked on me like a charm. So like you were like, I like, this is, this is the one. Well,

that time I was like, Oh, that was a fluke. He got really, he maybe drank too much. And then we had like a lot of fun dates after that. And I was like, see,

and then he started getting dabbling and getting arrested here and there. Every, every man has a hobby. It's fine. Oh my God. Yeah. Then we got married. Did you question the engagement after some of like the,

the Jack in the box arrest? Um, well then after we were married, nevermind. The same thing happened at a Yankees game with another guy another car he was like I'm going to get a beer and a hot dog

and he just never came back oh no Kate please no and that time I was like, uh-oh. Did he get hit by something? No, he just went back to our neighborhood a few blocks north and went to some bars. And he just left me there.

Oh, my God. This is the most depressing episode ever. But have you ever had a dude who was just like super nice but milk toast and boring yes and i hated it i couldn't do it i dated this golfer this iup at iup he was on the golf team and he was canadian and he was like so boring and the most exciting thing he ever did was throw up all over my room after a party and wait you liked that no i was like, it gave me the ache because he couldn't hold his liquor. Yeah. No, I've dated boring guys.

And I like. That was probably him trying so hard to bring some life to the relationship. Boy, she says I'm boring. But I got an idea. This Friday, I'm going to puke all over her room. Yeah. He puked on my Philly Fanatic Build-A-Bear Oh no I can't get it out of that fur

You had to throw away the Build-A-Bear God damn But yes no it has to like I do it to myself I do this to myself Are you anybody else like that They gotta be a little bit of a shithead Come on

I think that's the last thing I'd want Really Our partners have to of a shithead mook come on i think that's the last thing i'd want really like our partners have to be a shithead a little bit i like consistency and responsibility but i'm a freak okay yeah yeah it keeps me on my toes the beef's fun but reliable he's for life but he's not i this with love, he's not a normal guy. Oh, God, no. Absolutely not. You just said the beef, and then you had to tell us that he's not a normal guy. That's the beef titimus.

Whenever you say beef, I think of a cartoon character. No, he's not normal. Has he ever snuck and bought something? he buys crap i want to show like that's gotta be a great question i came actually i came home drunk from the case race and i like barely remember this but his office makes me crazy because he has so much shit he did it looks like this studio but it's like he has and i went in there and i was like look at all this dumb shit whatever like thank god i didn't post it he has like eight monitors in a room i'm not kidding in a room the size of like half of a basketball what's he doing with all of them i don't know what he does down are they all plugged in what was the date of the case race

juneteenth oh that's right junete. Yes. That's why we did it on that day to remember. Yeah. No he buys crazy shit all the time. Anyway. Now Kate you're right that I've dated a boring

girl before and it's like it did not go anywhere. I'm sure the people you dating aren't boring. I dated one very boring girl. And it was like that we have nothing

in common oh no this is oh no oh god kate send it to tj send it send it you don't have to be in the room you have to oh god no no i can't. Kate, you got it now. Hey. Kate. Come on. I want to see the Beavs lair. Oh, no. It's going to be awesome. I can't. Sorry.

Anyways. Wait, so everything you've already said, but this is too much? It's a tough look. It's a tough look. Why are you leaning away? I can't. You farting as you're looking? Let's go.

I'm talking, but I don't realize I still have my full mustache on, and I have vomit on my face. Kate. Kate. Come on. Please. For the boys. For us. Anyway, what have you guys been up to?

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GameTime. Yeah. Nice, nice. So silky. Hmm. Oh. Bats. Bats in the... Oh. No, Ruffles. So silky. Bats! Bats in the...

Oh. No, Ruffles. Ruffles. I'm so embarrassed. It's a puppy. She is the sweetest pup. She is cute. I totally get it.

Why you had to have... Oh my god. He's got a good pup and a new best friend. Jerry's doing really well. Things are going well for Jer. Yep. I can doing really well. Things are going well for Jer. Yep. I can't look away. What's Smokes look like?

Oh, yeah, so back to his teeth. He's got eight cavities. Yeah. Should we get him in here? I didn't have eight cavities. I only have four. Just four? Yeah.

Three. Four. Yeah, the way he described it made it look like he had a horse in his mouth. Pringle? Is he going to feed the dog a Pringle? Don't do it. Oh. I see him walk by my house every single day.

Malasek? Yeah. Malasek's kind of anti-ruffles. I mean, he's eating Pringles, but. Right. Wow. Yeah. It's like, when I was out there right before we came in for the yak, I think there's some sense of him as like...

There's no way dogs like Blutman. No, there's no way dogs like... Blutman can't even... The energy shield. He was feeling some type of way about people shitting on his dog that he's like, I'm not going to love any other dog that comes into this office because you guys treat me like that. We're not shitting on his dog.

His dog's cute. Now you're seeing it. Now you won't even... Look at him. Wow, he's signed up. No time for ruffles. What a dick do like virtual training i feel like blutman is an example of a bad guy they would use yeah in the that's what that's one you itchy trigger finger with yeah i keep trying to book a doctor's appointment and all the options are like virtual like how is that

gonna work yeah you just have To get a physical virtually? Do you have to like put your penis under my pants? My last two physicals, I don't want it in the moment, but I feel like I need to have my balls checked. Why? But they don't do it. Are your balls good? I would like to know.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, but they don't feel them up yeah what do you have to do you got something going on I guess I do it myself and that you

yeah and it's easy to tell I think there's something up I think you know okay I don't know it's hard I had a I've talked about this before

I had a varicose seal on my testicles like a big funky fucking lumpy veins in my balls and I got a physical at Ohio State, and the team doctor was like, holy shit, how have you not gotten this taken care of?

My answer was, I didn't know that these were abnormal balls. How would you know? How would I know? Your tree of comparison isn't big. I have no other frame of reference for what normal balls are supposed to be. I've never felt other balls. Never felt other balls. That's what having a best friend is for. You know what

their balls are for. You gotta feel their balls. That's what that guy in Georgia signed up for with Jerry. He's like, hey, now you gotta feel my balls. It would be helpful. There should be like, they should make what balls should feel like

for it to send to you so that you can be like, is this? Yeah. Alright, yeah. There's other things down there that are normal but lumpy, like the epididymis. Yes. Ah, yes. I had an ultrasound down there

because mine was, something was, it was a scary moment. Ultrasound felt great. Warm. I asked the nurse It was a scary moment. Ultrasound felt great. Yeah. Warm goo. All that goo. I asked the nurse to put in for 30 more seconds. Really warmed up.

And then she left and a doctor came in. A man came in and fondled me. But the warm goo. Yeah, I guess they don't have dildos for balls. It's only shaft. Dildos for balls. What do you mean? Like molds. They do. Yeah, dildos for balls. It's only shaft. Dildos for balls. What do you mean? Like molds.

They do. Yeah, dildos have balls. A lot of balls. A lot of the suction cup ones. You ever driven behind a truck in rural America? Truck nuts. Yeah. Oh, we should start feeling up truck nuts.

That'll give us a gauge. Those seem too hard. Those are metal and steel. They're still a sack. Yeah, but you need to know, I think we need to sell, somebody needs to sell perfect balls. Those seem too hard. Those are metal and steel. They're still a sack. Yeah, but you need to know, like, I think we need to sell, somebody needs to sell perfect balls. Yes. Perfect balls. Perfect balls.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know how, on the bracket, I know, is the episode out yet? Tomorrow. It's fine. Can I just mention the smell thing? Yeah, that was a crazy thing. But 1999, you say it.

Well, there's the... You probably do it better than me. But how you could... You could watch a video about hippos and it would smell like the jungle smell would come out. It was like this big thing they tried to sell. Why can't they have a computer virtual doctor app

where it's like, put your penis in this hole and make it take your... I'll buy it. Yeah, I'll buy it. Like, why can't they have a full doctor appointment kit on a computer yeah you take your pulse yeah so you can mac needs to sell uh auxiliary attachment it's just like a doctor yeah and you put your dick in the cuff and then it says for medical use only yes So that way there's no funny business going on and everybody has to agree. And it vibrates when you put it in the right place.

That is a crazy technology. It's called the iSmell. iSmell. Yeah, iSmell. It was released in 1999. Shaped like a shark fin maybe a little was it after 99 but the i thought it failed because the tech wasn't there to create any smell the scientist said every smell you could break down every smell into like a hundred unique smells and you combine them and how you combine it you can make any anything so the

technology was there and it worked. The public interest wasn't there. Yeah. They're saying it was a promotional fail. I think that's the coolest fucking thing. Yeah, it's a gadget that emits any smell. That is Harry Potter-esque. Yeah.

I can't believe it failed. No. I guess, like, how interested are you in something like that? I would be on Wikipedia constantly if I could see and smell the thing. Oh. I think smell was just too soon. I don't think we needed that scent or that sense yet. I think we needed the touch.

There needs to be a touch element. Because you have the sight and the sound. I don't know. I feel like they're doing that with concerts. They did that to sphere. You could share a shake and shit during certain things. Really? Maybe that's what we need to focus on.

When you're watching a movie, your chair moves more. That started in the 20s, I believe. It was a movie called The Shocker. A horror film, I believe. It was a movie called The Shocker, a horror film, I believe, and the seats zapped you, and you had to scream in the theater to get it to turn off. What?

TJ, can you fact check me on that? Wasn't there a movie, too, where water was sprayed? I think that was like, that happened at SeaWorld. I remember watching SeaWorld where water would spritz on you. Maybe we only want sight and sound. That's it. We don't want the rest of them.

It might be too real. When you're surfing the web, give me an example of something you would like to smell. Cologne shopping. Food. I would love to smell a pussy. Pussy. I don't think I would.

I think it'd be crazy if you could smell the meme of like, I know it's... The tingler, that's what it was. The tingler. What year? 59, okay. Cologne would be obviously very useful. Yeah. You could smell cologne. I think that's about it.

If you could smell along to a movie, which was a thing Nickelodeon did. Yep. Scratch and sniff. Yeah. I think that would enhance the experience. Yeah. Like Homeward Bound.

You'd want to smell dog? I don't know. I was thinking of movies. That was the first one. That smell of dog trapped in a rail car hole. Smelling Saving Private Ryan. Oh my God. The guts.

The nasty. Yeah, I guess you don't want to smell your movies. It would be cool if you could smell the memes that are like, I know it smelled crazy in there. I wonder what it actually, give me a whiff of that. It does smell like. Yeah. I'd be morbid curiosity for sure.

Yes. You can smell the gambling cave as you're watching along. Oh. Yeah. I mean, we tried to sell body wash. What a blogger. That's right. I think people would pay to smell Big Cat's fart.

Not pay, but... No, people probably would. People would pay. People would pay. Yeah. What was the movie where they killed all those animals making it? Oh, God, Milo and Otis.

Fuck, yes. It was a japanese movie that we dubbed but like at the end of everyday shoots they just throw those current pets in the river yeah they just kind of got rid of them and got the next day and like there's scenes where they're like like in homeward bound the porcupine quills are fake and in that movie they just like yeah wasn't there a scene where like they were going down the river and they just they're like see you later that was it let them keep going in the box yeah that movie god even not knowing that that movie fucked me up as a kid i know it's a scary movie as it is because it's like oh my god

save the dogs yeah they did it yeah and that was the reason there is like the no animals are harmed in this movie yeah they fucked up so bad what year was this milo too recent was like, I want to say it was like 89 if I had to guess. What the fuck? What was the original one called? Oh, 96? Is that what it was? 86? 86.

Yeah, that movie. How many did I go through? Come on, go down to that controversies tab. Yep. There it is. Some organizations, a number of complaints from people who had seen the film that it could not have been made without cruelty.

I exaggerated it. Unable to verify. Oh, we're good. It's fine. Yeah, we're fine. They didn't do it. They didn't do it. Well, noting that the context of the delegation they're unable to verify them. Oh, we're good. It's fine. Yeah, we're fine. They didn't do it. They didn't do it. The same report noted

that several Japanese humane societies allowed their names to be used in connection with the film and that the film shows no animals being in or harm. It's fine.

Do we fall for good? Yeah, I guess in my mind it was a lot in my mind I thought it was like hundreds of kids. The movie already fucked me up. You guys made it sound

like a genocide of dogs. They had a meat grinder and at the end of every day they would put all the animals in the meat grinder and then they would serve that to the crew. That's how I remember it.

It was a different time. Pat just sent me a video of his office and now my version is hammered drunk was now Alright here we go it was Pat just sent me a video of his office, and now my version is hammered drunk. All right, here we go.

It was, oh, boy. Five drowned cats, four mauled cats. Jesus. Two cats were pecked to death. One cat was swallowed by a snake. Three drowned dogs, two mauled dogs. And Otis was killed by a bear. Yes. This is what I recall.

Oh, my God. All unfounded. Okay. Okay, unfounded. The evidence is in the movie. That seems very specific. Yeah, they're down to the... Instead of just saying a bunch of animals died,

it's down to the numbers and how they... It's really... One pecking. Two. Oh, two pecking. Jesus Christ. That's a bad verb to kill you. Pecking.

Pecked to death. Pecked to death is bad. Yeah. Damn. What else? What else we got going on team Nate oh Nate top like a hundred he's like he was top it was 13 last night

I think I have a feeling he's gonna win don't he is he is doing so well he I think he is I'm proud of him he's on pace to get a hundred K plus yes how many winning how many people are left? What are the chances? Where are we at in terms of...

I think the last I checked, it was the money limit. Like 1,000 something. Put this in college basketball terms for me. The 16 seed is playing the one seed. At what point in the game are we where we're like, oh shit, there might actually be an upset here. I think he's in like... How much time is left? one seed. At what point in the game are we where we're like, oh shit, there might actually be an upset here. I think he's in like... How much time is left?

Half time. We're at half time. Lead at half. Is he playing right now? But I think like a... I would say a nine point lead at half. Okay. Against...

What is he playing against? He is... To do what? He's a 16 seed. To win it all? No. First round. He's in the first round how many rounds are there i guess this this scenario winning the game would be winning

the tournament yeah yeah this is perfect i have a question he's showing his chips he's like i have a million dollars worth of chips blah blah why doesn't he just go to vegas and do this all the time and like you're trying to get rid of nate why doesn't he just move there forever and uh quit yeah but no why doesn't he do that like couldn't he make a shit ton of money it is a good question it's a fair play is it i states poker for a living yeah i don't know if he's this good why doesn't he just go to like well with these tournaments can you not tj you might know this more i don't he can't You don't make money until a certain place. Yeah, there's a cutoff. I think he's at that point, though.

I think that he's right at the mark where he's in the money. I didn't watch his update from an hour ago, but I think he's done playing for today, but he's very close to making money, and he has way more than the average player. He has double what the average player has right now. He's in 120th place which is crazy.

Is this the best he's done? I don't think he's ever cashed. Holy shit. Wow. What a rush. Is Mincy rooting for him? He keeps like quoting his updates

with like rocket ships. So. Okay. I think. We need the script to pull through. Yeah. Need it. Nate winning it, then Dave beating it.

He's like 30 people away from making money, is what people are saying. So like 30 more people need to lose out, and then he's guaranteed to make money. What's the lowest amount? That he could win? Yeah. A dollar? $10,001? Oh, really?

Oh. And then like every person that gets eliminated from there he makes more money wait really one dollar i don't know if it's one dollar but like like getting your money back is like the lowest you could win he's playing right now that's it would make me nuts to be like here's my million dollars with the chips but it's not real yeah it's just a million chips. It's not a million dollars. Yeah. That's why I don't play world champion poker. Right.

I could. Martin from beautiful Las Vegas. Day four. Day four. Let's do this. Yesterday was crazy. Thanks, everybody, for all the support. It means a ton to me.

Crazy day. It's not normal to chip up the way I did level after level after level. Starting with 108, I think I finished the first level at like 336. I don't know what that means. Insane. That was at 108 now. I had kings versus jacks. My pocket kings held up versus jacks. I flopped a set of sevens at some point and got paid.

Then the last level, you know, I peaked at a little over a million last level. One really weird hand where I flopped top pair and a guy just shoved pocket deuces into me. Obviously, I called. Yo! That was a weird one. Got that one out of the way. So we bagged, what, 867? 876?

Something like that, which is over double average, which is just crazy, crazy, crazy. We have 15 people to the money. So job ain't finished. Haven't even made a dime yet. And we're just going to peacefully grind. Nothing changes. It's still a poker tournament. Still a ton of people left.

1,500 or whatever people left. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. One twentieth out of the 1,500, which is awesome, obviously. Very crazy. All the support and all the love, which is awesome, obviously. Very crazy. All the support and all the love yesterday means a ton to me. This might be the happiest I've ever seen. I know. That must be the most pleasurable rush you could feel.

It's gone in on me, though, that I have no idea how poker tournaments work. Not a clue. I don't know how quickly it could go south. When you said he needs 15 to be eliminated for him to be in the money, I was like, oh, so there's probably 50 people left. Yeah, 1,500. 1,500 left.

That's a lot of people. But he's in like the top 10%. A lot of people toward the bottom have significantly left. How did he sleep that night? Right. You don't. And then does that mean he's playing against the top 15%? I don't know how the tables were.

Like the levels. Not a clue. I don't get that. So he's seven people away from cashing. The players between 1,251st and 1,517th all walk out with $15,000. So $5,000 profit. Okay. So he's close to $5,000 profit.

Yeah. He's seven people away. He's locked. But if you make the final table, it's like a million dollars a person and then the winner gets like 10 million dollars millionaire date oh shit they still putting that shit on espn with norman chad i don't know i used to watch all that commentating yeah they still do that tj i don't know if it's yeah i think so i don't know i think a lot of it's on that poker go app that mnc used to work for that's one of those annual events that feels like it happens more than annually.

Yeah. Yeah. It feels like it's always happening. Yeah. Yeah, it does. The World Series of Poker in general, it feels like... I used to have the video game.

That and Coachella. I had the video game too. Yeah. I played it all the time. That was my first PSP game. Yep. It was this thing that could play, at the time, super technologically advanced, and I got poker. Yeah. I played it all the time. That was my first PSP game. Yep. It was this thing that could play at the time

super technologically advanced and I got poker. Yeah. What the fuck was I thinking? Yeah, I had a deck of cards the entire time. I was like, put me on my PlayStation 2

and I'm gonna fucking rock this. Happy for Nate. Happy for Nate. That would be awesome if he won. It would be insane. If he made the final table. That would be awesome if you won. It would be insane. If he made the final table. That would be crazy.

I want it to happen so bad. Yeah. You'd be the best athlete at this company, really. You'd have to be considered that. I guess I underestimated. I was DMing him last night. I was like, you got to go to the Hoover Dam while you're out there. Also, no.

That's horrible vegas advice i guess i didn't understand the seriousness of this event the stakes even there's a new bridge across from it you're gonna love it is that your you impression yeah sorry how's that bad kate does a horrible kate yeah you should go check I don't know if the previous stories told you how I see myself. Yeah. But that's kind of it. Wait, did you send the beaver den? I think I put it.

I don't know. The beaver dam? His video makes it look ignore his bathroom. Teleprompter monitor. Lumix S5. Oh, yeah. TV. Panelettes. Oh, wow. Panelettes. That's. TV. Panel lights. Oh, wow. Yeah. Panel lights. That's a TV behind his chair.

Standing desk. Multiple desks. This is fucking awesome. There's another monitor. He's got so much lighting for some reason. So are you allowed to go in here? I guess, but I don't because I don't know what he's doing. What about that little patio?

I don't know what he does on that patio. I don't. It's mounded. Dude, he pimps. Yes, he has a lot of shit going on in here. No way. This is sick. He's always like, I can't get the lighting right.

And so he orders more lights. Full of gear. Oh. This I'm pretty proud of. That's my. That's my, that's my organism. Like none of the curtains there are pullable. You have to hit remotes to make curtains go up and down and like,

you got all these extra doors put in. Yeah. He's, he's always adding to it and ordering to it. And I just don't go in that part of the house. Like at all. Is that room like a million degrees with all the tech and. It's in the very bottom of the house and the AC pumps like,

right. It's like freezing. You cover the, and the ac pumps like right it's like freezing you cover that yeah that's a 40 degree room okay that's like i'm gonna chill in here icy cold yeah does he lounge in there like watch shows or is that strictly business there's a couch bed in there that you couldn't see and so sometimes he's gone for a while and i'm like i bet he's sleeping on that fucking couch yeah how like do you see him every day when you go home or is it days where like you're just like oh the beef's doing the beef well i get home and then he does his podcast every night so as soon as i get home from work he's like i gotta do my show and he's done we're doing great where's

trinidad crash when he comes um he hasn't been over yet to the new house i don't think so we haven't seen him but i'm sure on that couch would be the move so the beef has his hand in a few different pots right yeah texas chainsaw massacre texas chainsaw massacre trinidad james yeah um that's pretty that's not that diverse of a portfolio yet no he's the band manager for pup punk okay he does all this really yes yeah at the last one here in chicago he was like running all around getting like pieces for their mics and stuff and like he's traveling with them on the road this summer oh my god yeah what a guy he does all kinds of he does like someone will be over at the house when i get home and he's like this is like

nate we're doing like real estate turned into bitcoins. Oh my God. Um, he's like, God, yeah, I don't know what he does. He's,

that's fun. That basement, 20 monitors. He's got like a teleprompter. Do you have any props from the Texas Chainsaw movies in the house? He's got stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

When that guy won that scary movie um he won the oscar last year it was like a virus movie yeah i don't know i don't know okay bong cho yeah parasite they like sent him we had a giant that was not last year that was a cool five years ago we had a husk varna the chainsaw masker sent him the the like a chain we had a giant valuable that is yeah i feel like that that's like has that franchise has like a cult it does yes yeah it's huge it does very much so that was the that was the first scary movie i saw horrified it's the scariest to me still yeah yeah there's all kinds of little knickknacks that i don't know it's a mystery he's like a rob

zombie type but he doesn't he's not like a he's not super into horror and stuff he just wears horror t-shirts every day play an instrument or produce music no he has produced music yeah yeah what about you are you following up on any of like the poll advertisements oh the poll advertising oh doing the things yeah so i was real into it for a while and then you realize after a while that all the polls in your neighborhood have the same thing they don't get refreshed very often oh yeah so it got tough but i was in contact with the lady who did the astrology reading for a long time and uh she got other people to come get readings from her because of it which was nice fantastic um the guy hit his goal on the game to get me so it's going to be coming in the mail

so maybe we can yeah yeah i would love to play it yeah that guy was awesome what else did i do no i gotta follow up on more oh this lady's supposed to come help me find my style and overhaul my closet. Find your style? Yeah, the color girl, right? She's supposed to come over and get my color, look at my closet, buy me new clothes. She's going to give you the clothes. I'll have to pay for them. What's your closet look like now?

Wow. Bad? What would you, what would you, would you would you be bold i mean i thought those pants with the rip and i wore like a week ago were crazy i thought everybody was gonna be like oh my god you guys probably don't even know what pants i'm talking about i know what you're talking about they're baggier yeah yeah i was like this is gonna blow people's dicks off. Nobody noticed, really. No, I'd like to get more, like, Rudy I admire as a fashion person. That works here? He's wearing, like, a pearl choker necklace.

Yeah. But he's still, like, a dude. Is he? Sword. That's his Frank Ocean chain. He'll let you know about it oh yeah have you guys seen uh the barbecue fish yes yeah no it's uh i don't know if it's humane that's what i was gonna ask like is that so tj you had the guy that was taping fish to atm yep this guy is doing fish bandit fish bandit got arrested as he should yeah he should have

because the fish were alive right yes okay all right this this guy is catching fish and filling them with sweet baby rays no no that's wrong that's so far i think it's fucked up letting him go so fucked people are loving this oh i hate, no. It's just the visual. He keeps doing it. The fish might like that, but there's no way the fish like that. I don't know. Actually, they might. I think they like it. Somebody said the bear that are catching these fish are really excited.

Oh, yeah. He's marinating his fish. Oh, God damn. Oh, man. He's really going, oh. Oh. It's wrong. It's wrong.

I'm holding on to the hope that, like, because fish will eat anything, maybe it's okay. People are, like, all about it. Grr Monday. He's, like, drowning his head. Oh, oh! Every comment is negative. Oh, okay. This sucks.

Yeah. This is like this guy. Remember the trend for a while was- There's no redeeming qualities. No. Nothing about this is good. I can't look. The trend for a while was to pour a beer down the fish's throat

and then chug the beer out of the fish. Yeah, we did that, but it was the follow-up by Connor Moog. Oh, good. Before we followed by Moog. Oh, no. That's why I brought it up. I wasn't sure if it was humane or not. But you followed it.

Yeah, I had to keep tabs. I wasn't sure. What was the... Moog's right here. I knew this would come up on this show. I also followed it yesterday. Who's the one account it's following? Is it Sweet Baby Ray's?

It's Sweet Baby Ray. I wasn't sure if, like, that's harming the fish or maybe that's feeding the fish. He's like... Just do it. People catch fish and fucking slap them around. They usually kill them, though. They roughhouse the fish.

So it's like, I don't know. I'm probably beefing with people. I wasn't sure if that was humane or not. It's probably not. It's hard to say, really. He was filling a fish to the brim with Sweet Baby Ray's and then putting it in its eyeballs. And then smothering it and then fucking

yeeting it back in the water alright I'm gonna go on paper if it wasn't real if this was like a work of fiction very funny yes but if someone described fishing to you and you didn't know about it previously

yeah what that's dumb fucked catching it with a hook the hook oh yeah yeah yeah you're right yeah probably hurts a lot does it hurt him right it has to right because it's always accidentally going through stuff and like they get stuck and crannies yeah i don't know how to take a fish hook out. Sometimes you pull the guts out when you take them out wrong. Yeah. Yeah, they're all slimy.

Can't get a grip on it. Not a fisher. Oh. I love fishing. Yeah, fishing is cool. I think it's relaxing. And I like the gear. I love a tiered tackle box. I think it looks cool when you open it. Yeah, the gear. I love a tiered tackle box. I think it looks cool when you open it. Yeah, the gear is cool.

So we're not going to have much of a competition at Brandon's place when we go to do a show at Brandon's place. I'll catch a fish, just can't take the hook out. I'm bad at fishing. You can't be. I'm generally bad. I can't stand right, cast right.

Before social media, it's all I wanted to do. Oh, getting a bite. A rush. It's exciting. It's like winning in poker. Trying to find new rushes. I'm kind of like plagued by the banalities of life. Everything is so familiar, even the good things.

That's why I was doing the poll thing. And it was exciting. Like, forcing you to talk to new people and, like, check stuff out, but then... You should start modding your body. Oh, yeah. No, I'm not into that. I think you should rap.

No. It'd make you uncomfortable. It would. You should get real good with a slingshot. Zod gave me one. Yeah, those are cool. I wish i still had it here they're very cool he gave me one that like you could kill something with it right za yeah we hunt birds with those have you ever killed a bird with a slingshot za uh yeah nice oh yeah and then i put sweet baby rays down on the bird yeah hmm my instagram yesterday was just that and then then that T-shirt I sent to the Yak group

yesterday. Oh, yeah. Well, wait. I didn't. Oh, the one. The one. What's that creepy crawler? Is it a crawler?

It'll wear. Oh, yeah. Someone eat it. Someone has to eat it. Where, where, where, where, where? There's a creepy crawler right there. That blur on the carpet? Oh, if that's a millipede, I'm going to puke.

No, don't touch it, Titus. Jesus. Oh, that's a guy? Don't touch it? They bite, don't they? Centipede? What's that guy doing? What's he doing?

Where's he going? What's he got going on? He might be dead. Huh. What's he got going on? He might be dead Huh, they're ugly Let's give it some barbecue sauce That would be fine, I think, right? Is torturing bugs still fine? Torturing bugs is fine I'm okay with bugs

Because like glue traps are torture Oh yeah I used to smash lantern flies. You were supposed to. No, not lightning bugs. Lightning bugs. Oh yeah, then your hands would glow. Then your hands would get all glowy. Yeah, I remember doing that

as a kid. By the way, I have a stockpile of fellas going that is like I think I could finally win. Are we doing a fellow Friday anytime soon? I don't want to overdo it, but like, we're probably, no,

we're not. No. Okay. Months away. Fuck you guys. I have such a good one. I'm like, actually we,

I have a guy too. It's killing me to not, the one particular one I have hasn't blown up yet. And I, I want to have this fellow Friday before it does. Cause it's inevitable. I'm watching one, like gain a hundred followers a day and I'm getting well.

You're right. It is inevitable. So just get it out of the way now. Can I? Yeah. Okay, good. I have one as well if we're doing this. Yeah, let's just do it.

Yeah. I just, I can't wait anymore because I know it's coming. I think TJ, I send it to you. But this guy is an older guy who just thinks his wife is hot as shit. I'm worried about thinks. But this guy is an older guy who just thinks his wife is hot as shit. And he just... I'm worried about thinks. Greg Hutchison 501. Here, I'll send it to you again, TJ.

But this guy just rules. He... Hold on. I don't want to say she's mail order. I don't know where she's from. Because she's his age. But basically he worships the ground she walks on. And I'm a little bit obsessed.

All his videos are him having her just walk gently across a room. She's a prisoner. Possibly. Okay. So do a quick little scroll through. There he is. And I thought it was fake at first. No comments comments Three likes

I am so far ahead of this And this is what he does There's hundreds of posts like this Where he just has her gently walk across the room In a sassy outfit Nice And the music's always like romantic And this guy's just so proud

of how hot his wife is there she goes yeah this is wholesome this is really I don't know about wholesome he loves her oh what they whipping oh

that's BMW where okay so he's in alabama oh yep she's she's from uh a four like a so yes absolutely and all i can think is see that translation okay it's very good all i can think is he had a wife for like 30 years who he couldn't stand and they got divorced and then he married her and he just posts these to make his ex crazy. Does she ever talk?

Nope, never. There's hundreds of these where he just... Go on. Oh, wow. Yep. And he puts them to different songs. Keep going. He's real proud of her.

I like this. Yeah, he just and i feel like i'm so early to it you think this is gonna this is gonna take off i think so i can't believe it hasn't yet and then hello nick okay i can look at them all day oh it's a video fem grips left that comment who do we think who is stabbing Greg? Oh, Greg. There she is again, just gently walking. Hotel lobby?

She is looking towards something. You can't really quite tell where she's looking a lot of the times. She's afraid. People, I like to photograph. Anyway, I was super hyped on this. Is there a photo of them together at all? These are all the last day, by the way. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, he's back. Do you guys think this is wholesome? I had a theory that this was also him. Oh. What are you thinking, Kyle? I don't think it's wholesome. What are you feeling?

What do you think, Seth? I mean, he's holding her green card somewhere for sure. Oh, yeah, you do have a good radar of captivity. Oh, is that him? Is that him? What a twist would that be? I've never seen them together. Oh, no.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Wait. Oh, my God, wait. Any pictures together anything together yes oh my god

why did we assume that I thought you guys were gonna blow the doors off on this when I was yeah he's obsessed anyway I've been on this

for months now okay yeah oh wedding day 2019 oh look how the gymnasium oh how'd they meet Months now. Okay, yeah. Oh. Wedding dates. 2019. She's kissing. That's hard. The gymnasium.

Oh, how'd they meet? Locked into her office. I've been with her every day. She'd let me. Oh, he really loves her. He really does. The nobody at their wedding makes me think this is the revenge for a nasty divorce, and he just posts her every day to just make his ex furious.

Oh, yeah, he's the man. Yeah. Sorry. I don't know if that's the bombshell. I was hyping it up to me, but I cannot believe he doesn't have. That's a good. That's pure fella. That's a fella.

For sure. For sure. He has no interest in anything else nope mine is a little more uh of course yeah yeah what is it a guy that fell into a vat of acid yeah yeah and every all he could do is scream he's that book how hard you laughed at that i got one one of those. I have one of those. No, my guy is a, it's wholesome. It's wholesome and it's a brother.

It's two brothers. One of them is just constantly hitting home runs off of the other brother. Little boys? Grown up. It's called Dinger Off Downs. Oh. Okay. Oh, no. And it's just a guy hitting a home run off his Down Syndrome brother. Grown up It's called Dinger Off Downs Oh no And it's just a guy hitting a home run Off his Down Syndrome brother

It's very nice He's treating him like anybody else Yeah Boom Oh my god Awesome yeah I like this And then he's up There we go

Boom This has been on my feed now For like two months This Yeah Is he disabled? No I miss playing in the yard

I do too. And it's a mix of wholesome activity with I love watching home runs. That's all. That's it? I like to see the fielders plays. Oh, like POV shortstop type stuff? No, if I'm seeing baseball highlights, not a home run, you know? Like a diving catch.

Okay. Just shits on a home run. No, a home run's satisfying you think? yeah like the crack of the bat yeah oh it feels good

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Yeah. You want to spin it? Probably, yeah. Get the hell out of here. Yeah. Yeah, we've got to do anus today, too. Get the hell out of here. Yeah. Yeah, we've got to do anus today, too. Yeah. And then Nick is doing a cooking stream with Donnie, I believe.

Right now, yeah. Nick's the hardest working man at this company. I know. He really is. He does a lot. Mostly sports this morning. Jerry last night. Jesus.

Yeah. I. Yeah. I had one more thing I wanted to bring up. Did you see the Mr. Beast might run for president? Or claim that if they lowered the age he would go. Oh, really? Yeah. He would win. He wants to.

He wouldn't win. I think he would win. No, because all of his fans are like 14, right? Yeah, that's true. He would not win. It's not going win. No, because all of his fans are like 14. Yeah, that's true. He would not win at all. He would win in 10 years. He just hit 300 million subscribers. Yeah, that's pretty unfathomable. That's a large percentage of the world.

He's the largest account on the planet now. Yeah, yeah. How many of those are registered voters in America? Does anyone watch? Like, do you guys watch his videos? I couldn't tell you, like, what he does. I've never heard anyone even talk about that. I didn't know who he was until TJ told me, like, a few months ago.

Yeah, I guilty pleasure watch that. How old is he right now, TJ? He's, like, my age, I guilty pleasure watch that. How old is he right now, TJ? He's like my age, I think. Okay, so by the time he's 35, I think he could win an election. Not a chance. I bet on it. Are there any? Because he's so popular on the internet?

He's so fucking popular, dude. Is he more popular than Kanye West? No. Dude, maybe. Maybe more than why. Young people don't vote. That's my problem with this. In 10 years, I'm saying.

It's like the people... You're talking Mr. Beast? Yeah. Running for office in 10 years. Nah. That was definitive, too. Yeah, that was definitive too that was definitive I don't know enough about

the beast I just think he has such an influence how do we not know enough about the beast like why does TJ it's basically just TJ Mook for being honest or like here are the 12 most famous human beings on the face of the earth.

And the rest of us are like, literally never heard of them. Yeah. Not only do I not follow them, I've never heard of them until... I've never watched a MrBeast video. Me neither. Not that I've been trying to avoid it. I have. It's an easy, pretty pleasurable watch.

Is it? Because he's giving people life-changing amounts of cash. Does he have charisma? I don't know literally anything. They're well-ed well edited they're exciting they're like good for the eyes yeah okay he's he just built a town for jamaica i saw he's doing shit like that he built like a whole neighborhood of like a thousand homes in nicaragua for people but then they got caught selling the homes and it was like a scandal oh geez the government's like no we're not but i don't i still don't know quite what they're talking about.

I'm just like imagining him like in office like at like a Senate hearing and they're like, Mr. Beast, what are we going to do about Israel versus Palestine? Well, just like his thumbnails

make me cringe. That's what it is. The thumbnails are, yeah. But he has it like down to a science. Yeah. He'll change that. Like 12 times. Yeah, to get,

come on, dude. He invented this though. Yeah. He invented, he invented what? Philanthropy as spectacle. as spectacle is that is this a thumbnail style you just like engineered what how to do the best on youtube and it worked so he's he's uh how old 30 26 26 26 so we got a long so you got 10 years 10 years yeah is he married i don't believe girlfriend he has so. What's his net worth? 12 years, really.

I think it's like 100 million plus. Maybe. So we're 12 years away from the next presidential election where he's eligible. His snack company sponsors the logo on the Charlotte Hornets jersey, right? Oh, is it? He's got a burger chain.

Oh, Mr. Beast Burger. I yeah he's got a burger chain I went to the oh Mr. Beastberg oh is he yeah he's worth he's worth half a billion too hard to have like consistency with the ghost kitchens yeah fuck it he can win yeah I don't know anybody can yeah I think he could win I saw him tweet the other day he's like what I'll do is I'll just make both sides happy. What's his actual thought? People were like, yeah. Why hasn't anybody else thought of that? I know.

The tweets are crazy. People were loving it. He was like, I would listen to both sides. And then he said, and then I would get experts on both sides. And we just do right down the middle what made everyone happy. Just make good decisions. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeez. If we lower the age to run for president, I'll jump in the race. If I were president, I wouldn't care about party lines. I'd just always truly make the American people my number one priority

for problems. I'm ignorant. And I'd have experts from the left and right advise me on them. But any, but Billy Football, I think,

has had an exact tweet like this. Anyone can conjure up that thought. My thing is, he has insane follow through. so i don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he runs for president but is he running as mr beast i think because nobody jimmy what what's his last name donaldson jimmy donaldson i should run two separate campaigns one for jimmy donaldson and one for mr beast

donaldson beast he could he could be his own VP yeah yeah that would be something to have a he's dropping a banger this week is he a beast yeah why is he called that I think he made that his username when he first started his channel when he was like 14

it was like his Minecraft the coolest thing you can think of. Mr. Beast. Fuck yeah. Mine was tbob34. Really? Yeah, I just thought Bob was like a funny name, which I think everybody does.

Yeah, we did. That was the default prank name. Bob. My name is Bob. Actually, my name is Bob. Bob used to crush yeah yeah what was my first one i was a tomato six that's fucking fire pretty impressive to score a single digit any single digit vegetable was crazy yeah oh yeah i was on that early.

It was my nickname as a tomato. Six tomato. Tomato was taken. Why would you get rid of that? I should bring it back. I was country Hawk. Ooh. Was that an Xbox name?

It was, I didn't know how to make it myself. So they would randomly generate it. Cause I was curious. Hedgehog. You got country. That's way cooler. Curious Hedgehog Country Hawk. Too different.

Yeah, the auto-gen names are just like too random. Adjective animal, I thought. One of my boys was Observant Turnip. Nice! That's one you keep. My RuneScape name was Kosher Hot Dog. That's pretty good. Yeah, it was sick.

Oh, didn't you also have one where it was a word backwards? No, my boy was Sixel Sid, which was dyslexic backwards. We thought he was the coolest guy. And by my boy, it was a guy we just played World of Warcraft with. I added him. I was like, I need you in my crew. Yep. I wonder how those Xbox dudes are doing.

Like those guys you meet. Not well. Probably fine. These were World of Warcraft kids. Yeah. Probably still playing. Wolfie93 was raiding with me on prom night. I'll never forget it.

He was with you. Yeah. At your lowest. That was not my lowest no god no i was really having fun i have zero regrets over that my gnome my gnome rogue squeener squeener yeah yeah i was also uh i was bush boy at one point When I graduated from tomato Why bush boy?

Because tomatoes grow in bushes I thought they grow in vines Then I fucked up I still don't know Titus did you have an AIM messenger? You were basket You were Hooper. Yeah. What year was your birth year?

Mr. Hoops. 89? I believe I can fly 23. Was it actually Mr. Hoops? Yeah, Mr. Hoops, 34. Okay, yeah. That was it. That was the one.

Kate? Yeah. One of mine was Moose Copter. I don't know. It was the animal noun thing that me and my friends like let's pick the silliest name i thought moose helicopter combo was like super random yeah i don't understand why like all the other girls are like so masculine all the other girls are like flirting with boys in our class you were moose copter two of the heavier things. That is the least attractive screen name.

I am not sending high A with two Ys. Blurring with moose copter. If I see my initials in your bio, killing myself. I was the only one who like old truckers never tried to molest them. You're in all the chat rooms trying your best nope my AIM screen name was Sarmati628

I've said that a billion times but I was Siegfried and Roy Master of the Impossible I've been gay from the day I was chill two more hours Chill. Chill. Two more ads. Two more ads.

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it was really underwhelming. Wait, was it the Irish guy? It was an Asian dude. Oh, somebody else. Oh. I think AGT needs to go away for a while. I haven't watched in a while. I haven't watched in a long time. When was the last time an American has won?

It's always like a Swedish girl. Little girl. Yeah. We need to miss it, so... American Idol went away for like one year. Yeah. Who's judging? Isn't Sofia Vergara like a judge?

No idea. You're saying she's not talented? No, Klum. Heidi Klum. I can't believe the Masked Singer still is on. Two famous Americans. Never seen that. They're not even really doing celebrities anymore.

They had Kermit the Frog pop out of one. Kermit? I feel so bad when the judges have to pretend to be amped up like they know who it is. Right. Oh, is the Bloodman's godfather? Howie. Is he still there? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, there he is, Howie. Simon Cowell, Howie, Sophia. Victor Oladipo. Literally no, other than Terry Crews, I guess, none of the others are Americans, right? Is Howie not? No, he's Canadian. He's Canadian. Is Tyra Banks? She's American.

She's American. I'm talking about the current. Oh, current. Jerry Springer? The four judges are... Yeah, none of them are American. How about that? Wait, Terry Crews? The four judges...

I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm trying to explain my thought a little clearer give me it again give it again none of them are american on a show called america's got down where's terry cruz from i think he's from america but i don't is he not the judge anymore how'd regis die that was a i thought that would be a bigger dad i'm sorry my first pet uh i got two hermit crabs regis and kathy lee oh that's adorable he was the first guy to really do the crazy teeth whitening thing yeah i liked him did he have any controversy i don't think so thank yeah i liked regis too. He was... I was very comfortable when he was on the screen. Oh, yeah.

He really... Even as a boy. Yeah. I was drawn to Regis. I trust this guy. Who was his sidekick? Kathy Lee or Kelly. I knew it.

Kathy Lee. Oh, Kelly. Yeah. Kelly Ripa. Is he married, Regis? He's dead. We were just talking about his death. I'm like five.

I'm ten. He's not married. I think the law says the marriage ends when that happens. I don't know. Yeah, so I think at that point. I don't have enough call. Yeah. Oh.

Three wives? Two wives? Two wives. Okay. So Larry King was collecting wives, right? A lot. He had like six. Oh, yeah. A ton of wives. Okay. So Larry King was collecting wives, right? A lot. He had like six. Oh, yeah.

A ton of wives. Mm-hmm. Larry King, farter. Known farter. Mm-hmm. He would fart on internet. I'm not shocked by that. He would drop pens under his desk and fart on internet.

Those old cheeks aren't holding anything back. He would fart on that old ass. That old flappy ass. He would say that again, TJ? I've heard stories that he would like drop a pen and then be like, can somebody get this pen? And then when they would bend down to get the pen, he would fart. That's kind of awesome. That's awesome.

Those farts are falling out like acorns. Also, when you're old, you can just do whatever you want. want yeah he was in like mid-interview and just answered a phone call from yeah really that's awesome i don't get the appeal that all those women marrying him i i know money like i would still have a really tough time it made it hard a tougher time than getting arrested Viagra's prominence That would be tough Had to have really put a damper on being a gold digger Do erections

Are erections wrinkly? At some point Is it baggy? I think that's the one thing That retains its youth The penis has like a bingo wing It looks like whatever Amon's dragon is. It looks like that.

The Vaguar. Yeah. It's got like the neck fat. Maybe that's the secret. What do you mean? That's why they don't mind. Because. It's fun.

It's a good mouth feel. It's like silly. Like an erection isn't like old looking. Do erections stay young? I don't think they do. I don't think so. Maybe not. I think they get. I think the penis gets like colors and spots i'm not googling old old yeah i'm on it okay thanks man no yeah no i'd imagine there has to just be weird

being a gold digger would be so easy when dudes couldn't get hard. Right. That's the best job in the world. Yes. Like, she's now dead. Unless he was really ambitious. He married the oil guy. She had blonde and... And a Nicole. She didn't have to do anything. I don't think so. Not a chance with that guy.

Not a chance with that cock. Good looking cock. Really, it's fine. Shut up. It's fine. Who are you looking at? I'm looking at old men erections on Xhander. Weird name for a porn website.

A prominent one at that. Is that because of the rumor that what's his face putting up? That was a gerbil. Oh, a gerbil. Is that the same thing? Michael Bolton? Richard Gere. Oh.

It's fine. Why don't you get out of there? Those are interchangeable. I got trapped in old dicks for a second. Interesting. Speaking of that, if you haven't pulled the trigger on a pair of Raycons, or even if you have, but you're in the market for another pair

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plus free shipping. That's right. You'll get 15% off and free shipping at buyraycon.com slash yak. Buyraycon.com slash yak. Anything else? What's on the sheet here? Is Chase still putting the sheets together when he's not here? Yeah. He's working? Max just met

Jason Kelsey. Max just met Jason Kelsey? Real original. What's up, man? What's up, dude? What's up, dude? Great dad. Oh, he nailed it. Look at his face.

I didn't do this. No, I was really cool about it. I was really cool. Good to see you, man. Don't blow it. He did it. Oh, yeah. That was good.

Nailed it. Yeah. Good job, Max. Damn. And Nate's playing on the feature table at 3.30 central. Oh, shoot. And we can all, like, that's being streamed. Yeah.

But Dave is not rooting for Nate right now. Saw that. Oh, yeah. What was that? Boss Nate. Yo. Yo. Zah, you're not doing it to the boss man, are you?

Get him, Zah. Get him, Zah. Get him. That's boss man, Zah. I mean, I had to. My hand was forced. Oh, yeah. My hand was forced.

Wait, click it. On the quotes. No. Oh. Oh, yeah. My hand was forced. Wait, click it. On the quotes. No. Oh. Uh-oh. How do you see quotes? I don't know how to see. There he is.

Hell yeah, Zell. Man. All right. All right, maybe get freaky tomorrow What are you thinking? Oh I don't know This is the crew

We got like Extremely drunk with Before the case race Liquor day Drink day Think of something Fun outfits Again

No I don't have anything Fun left I might wear my crazy pants again I don't have anything fun left Slightly baggy jeans You can wear that one piece Oh yeah the one piece.

Oh yeah, the one piece. Oh no, fuck that. It looks good. I think he looks good. Yeah, shit, that's it. Oh, he's handsome as shit. That guy's a pervert. He looks good. I don't think his garment looks good. Look at him.

It's so weird. that is so weird did nobody think my tommy smokes guy looked like tommy smokes yesterday no i didn't oh i didn't see that i thought the guy looked just like i put it in the yak group chat also look at the middle guy does anyone here watch welcome to plathville about the super religious family that like no oh that's one of the sons he's a model now he's oh that's him oh that's actually literally him yes or it just looks like no it's really him oh cool

yeah super cool I'm gonna be uh cooking stuffed peppers with chef Donnie live it's a good dish three o'clock oh what is that one of your favorites it is I love stuffed peppers tune into that he's over there prepping and so Friday we're doing glue trap What? Is that one of your favorites? It is. I love stuffed peppers. Tune into that. Hell yeah.

He's over there prepping. And so Friday we're doing glue trap and then pinatas. Maybe. Maybe pinatas. We'll figure it out. Let's do something. Let's do a stunt. Something with pinatas.

Okay. All right. We'll figure it out. All right. Sounds good. Peace. Peace. Peace. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. I don't want to tease too much, but if Friday comes together,

we're looking at a fucking banger, folks. See you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.