The Yak - Kate's Big Surprise | The Yak 9-21-22

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Promo code KateYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa! Whoa! The hungriest show on Earth. Whoa. Whoa. The hungriest show on earth. Kate, did you? Speak for yourselves. I am full as a tick right now.

You bitch. Oh. You bitch. Well, at least three of us did it. Mmm. Delicious. I am hungry. Starving.

But I also feel Like Sharp Yeah Really sharp Edward Sharp Sharp It's a different mental level

The Last night At dinner It was like What do I do with my Night With no dinner But then I woke up today

And I was like I think I lost like 10 pounds I drank so much water That I gained weight Yeah But then I woke up today and I was like, I think I lost like 10 pounds. I drank so much water that I gained weight. But then I released this perfectly double tapered turd that fucking coiled around the toilet. It was beautiful. Hell yes.

Hell yes. It was fucking lovely. Sass, how are you feeling? You haven't eaten in 24 hours. I'm feeling good. Sharp. Better than ever. Why don't you just come clean? Come clean about what?

I didn't eat anything Did you see me eat anything? Why don't you just come clean, Sass? I don't have anything to come clean about Why don't you just come clean? I have nothing to come clean What did you do last night? I went to the stand

And Good food there Rare that a comedy club has good food But they have good food I did not eat there though you didn't met some cool guys though throw the ball

I told Francis to come on I don't know where he is he's just big time in us you ate last night no I did not eat anything and now that you know his lying voice too I did not eat that's bullshit dude I didn't eat anything. Yes, he did, dude. And now that you know his lying voice, too. I did not eat. That is bullshit, dude.

No. I didn't eat anything. I'm fucking starving. You guys are all liars. Fat son of a bitch. Who's a liar? No, I believe that you did it wrong. Yeah, exactly, because I'm on edge right now.

Yeah, me too. I feel fucking sharp, though. I feel sharp and on edge. I am the edge right now. I may never eat again. We do have to spin. Someone threw out the idea. We'll spin the wheel. Someone has to fast all the way until 7pm. I'll take the bullet on that

one. No, you can't do that. Maybe I'll just do it with whoever does it. I feel sharp, dude. It is suspect that Brandon Walker's not here right now. Well, Brandon's eating. Oh, he ate right away. He's like, oh, I'm sick. He called me last night with a mouthful of food. Chicken throat. You could hear it.

Tess, you ate too. I didn't know. I didn't eat anything. Why did you say you guys are all liars then? Because I know the difference in energy between someone who's actually fasted and people who haven't. You have slow energy. You look like you just had a fucking Thanksgiving dinner. I have slow energy as in I have no energy in my body because I haven't fueled up. Roan and I are fucking hyperactive, ready to fight someone.

On edge, dude, yeah. Morsel of food. You worked out this morning, didn't you? Oh, Julio's here too. Yes. Why don't we get both of them in? Yeah, I don't know why Francis, I drove in with Francis today. I was like, hey, we got a spot on the Yacta.

He's like, great. And then he just ignored me. This is rude. What a piece of shit but yes kate thank you for bringing that up i went to solid core and i did super solid core i did the the 65 minute version and then i biked in today just to test myself to see if i'll get tired i don't think i need food i look at other people who eat food as weaklings now i know how owen feels with the whole booze thing it It's a fact. What should we order, though, for lunch?

I don't know. I think I'm good on lunch. Never eat again, bitch. You're not doing lunch? I think that maybe a piece of fruit around 7 p.m. would be all I need. Maybe put an orange slice on my tongue? Something like this, a little droplet, but I'll probably just spit it right out just for taste. I feel good, dude.

Ah! Ah! You know? I was talking about having bad breath. Yeah, bro. Leo can come too. Fran. Hey, what happened when we...

I forgot I had all of our podcasts on. Sit down. Sit down for a sec. I want to make sure people understand. Francis and I had a lovely drive in this morning. We did. Chatted up. No music being played.

Just conversation. There's only one moment where he motioned if he was going to. He was like, do you want me to give you roadhead? And I was like, nope. Other than that, it was a great drive. And then I said, hey, we got an open spot on the yak today. You want to come on? And you're like, yeah, that'd be lovely i know i know and i'm sorry i i am having a hard time keeping track of all these meetings and onboarding things i have to do it's onboard

yeah i'm telling him to say no just say no to stuff are we no to that shit i have all kinds of sexual harassment training you need that that. I guess so. Well, says the guy who was like, well, Roadhead, is it happening or not? Right over the Brooklyn Bridge, right where I like to get Roadhead. It's the best spot. It's a beautiful vista. It's a great spot for Roadhead and suicide. Yeah.

Well, they put the fences up so high. Yeah, you can't beat them. You can beat them. And on the Brooklyn Bridge, it's down the middle, so you have to jump into traffic and then jump off i've seen it done wait so you have onboarding for sexual harassment uh i mean i have to do that teach you how to do it is like our our big podcast into we're integrating in and and bringing everything over so my ghost coming on uh no so i made him uncomfortable i got it i got it i knew you got it i knew you got it uh smart as a whip dude that that uh goddamn

fox news shit last night was hilarious thank you was so funny, Hansel. I'm going to get Francis Stans to start tuning in. My parents were rolling over in their graves. They're not dead. They're dead to me ever since they voted for Biden. Are they mad that you're back at Barstool? No, not at all. This is a liberal bastion right in here. My whole career has been overwhelming to them, and I think they're just happy to sit back and watch the ride.

Yeah. Hell yes. I hate to do it, guys. I just have to get to this. So I'll be back tomorrow, though, if you'll have me. We would love to have you tomorrow and Friday. We have openings. I'm out the rest of the week, sadly.

But come sit here. Come sit in this chair. Is Julio going to come on? If you want him to. He's here. Yeah, I saw him walk in. Yeah. But we have a little bit of a tights because we have to record today.

Does he have powerful hips? It looks like. We're a Division I tennis player. Have him stop by on the way to recording. Okay, I'll do that. That's perfect. Thank you, Francis. Thanks, guys.

Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Appreciate you, dude. Don't apologize. That's Kate's job. No, he should apologize. He told me he was going to come on. You have to go. Oh, dude. Don't apologize. That's Kate's job. No, he should apologize. He told me he was going to come on. Sorry, you can't stay. You have to go. Oh, God. Told me he was going to come on.

Kate Schtick apologizing. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Speaking of, sorry that I'm here as well. Sorry to exist. Are we pushing Merchapalooza for Kate? No, no, no. I propose something. The crickets. Hear me out. Hear me me out the top prize for

merchapalooza going on right now is 15 grand hank sent a follow-up email it said 25 but they're saying 15 i don't know that would refill the yak slush fund real quick yeah if we put all our eggs in my basket and then i keep 10 in the end i feel like that would replenish the Yak slush fund very quickly. Okay? And if people go on there now, Barstool Sports Store, promo code Kate, and take 10% off, if enough people do that during the start of this show, I will have a spicy surprise for us at the end of the show. Not me personally, so don't worry.

Whoa. That would make a dive. You don't have any poster boards, do you? No. What? God, no. What the hell? 10% off code Kate.

But if people go on right now, listen, the holidays are approaching. Why would you not get a little bit of a head start? The holidays aren't really. I guess they're always. Halloween? Always approaching? You're talking about Yom Kippur? I'm talking about Yom Kippur is almost here.

But go on there. Maybe there's a hat you've been looking at. Maybe there's a little fall, tailgate season. That's true. You want to see the other stoolies in the lot? You better be wearing some Barstool gear. Anyway, all Yak fans, get on there. Kate with a K, not a C.

And let's coup. Let's form a coup and take over and then put it to the slush fund is my proposal. I propose that I would buy people PS5s. What is on the back? Oh, that's for later if people do enough. There's more to come if people get on there and start, you know. Kate, I hate to do this, but I'm kind of, I also have a promo code. And, you know, my promo code is promo code RONE.

And I won't be taking the 10% and I won't be putting it in the slush fund. I'm just going to give the money away if I win. I'm just going to give it to the people. I'll pick like three to five people and Mr. Beast the money and just give it all away. If you use promo code ROAN. If you use promo code ROAN. If you use promo code Big Cat. So you have, what, three people you said to give it away?

If you use promo code Big Cat, I will use all the money to buy all the PS5s and then give all those away. I think only one of these sounds reasonable. So mine is a higher upside, actually. So that means that the three people I'll be picking will be getting more money and will be able to buy multiple PS. Yeah, but not for other people. How much does a PS5 cost? 500 bucks? Yeah.

So I'm going to be does a PS5 cost? $500? Yeah. So I'm going to be buying 50 PS5s for the people. Everyone wins when the slush fund is plush. Everyone wins. No, actually, that's not true. No, no. This one is Stephen Jay free. This one, not a dime. He'll find a way to get to the money.

But if you use promo code RONE, it'll be if I win three people getting $5,000 each. $5,000 in your pocket. That sounds better than a PS anything. You know what's better than $5,000? $15,000. If I win, I'm giving them money. Oh, my God. Individual person.

Whoa. Wow. You can use code LILSASS. You can't afford to do that sass. One person will be getting all the money. This backfired. I thought we were going to, I texted,

the worst is texting the group chat and no one answers, especially in the Yak chat. And I like sent this whole plan out. I sent like seven texts and it was silent. Like, can you rig a competition? So I win. Yes.

That was the proposal. I'm only keeping 10%. Oh yeah. Use promo code ZA. Let's go. Oh, goddammit. Let's go. I will get behind my boy ZA for sure.

Do you have a promo code? I've been using promo code ZA. All right, I'm going to tell everyone to use promo code ZA. He said he would keep the money himself. I'd appreciate that. I think he deserves it. Yeah, Nick is already in top five. Jake Marsh is in first place.

That's bullshit. Billy football is in second place. That sounds like some kind of part of my take. He was running around screaming at PFT. Let's get behind Zah. No. FD low. Everyone wait until the end of the show.

What the fuck, Kate? Oh, fuck you, Zah. Piece of shit. Everyone wait until the end of the show to decide. That's all I ask. I am tweeting out right now. Do it now. Do it now. Zah. Everyone in the app. I am tweeting out right now. Do it now. Do it now.

No. Everyone in the app chat, please get behind Zah. Do it now. At the end of the show, it will become very apparent that I need this because I spent money on something to win. Oh, no. What did you spend money on? Maybe Zah will give you a loan.

That was a bad idea, Kate. It was a bad idea. I thought you guys were legit going to help me out. Who the hell is Merle? We're the most cold-hearted pieces of shit. I forgot this is Scorpion now. I fucked up and forgot. We're not going to help anyone. And you said you're going to take

10% for yourself, Kate. That's massively greedy. I actually said 20% and no one responded. I'm using code Tyler Barstool Finance's promo code. Hell yes. See, he got a promo code. Hell yeah.

Who is Merle's, though? Merle's is in the top ten. Merle's is in the top eight. Who is he? Well, here's the thing with Merle's. I know Merle's well. Great dude. He also gives out stone cold winners in international like international hockey i got a merles fact i

almost went to ac with him for a night dude merles great dude he he if you follow merles he's part of spitting chickless universe um he played i think with biz and whitney and uh he just like you wake up he lives in sweden half the year with his wife and kid you wake up in the morning at like 6 in the morning he's like alright we got Russia league over and he'll just give out a winner and it'll be like a no doubt winner

it's hockey being played in like fucking Finland, Russia, Germany all I heard is he neglects his family half the year when he's away I should not be this. Jack Spider and I were working a chicklet stream here, and then we drove to Atlantic City after the stream was over, and he asked if he could come.

And then we got down, and we're getting into the car, and he's like, oh, no, my wife would kill me. So family men. Family men. He's afraid of his wife. Get this guy out of the top ten, eh? Yeah. Get Zaha up there.

I'll say this. If I win, I mean, I'm better off broke as a human being. So if I win, it's all going to the X-Files. No, stop. Okay, all right. Why is everyone giving it? If I win, I'm keeping the money. No, I want to do some cool shit on the show.

I'm keeping the money for myself. Thank you, Zaha. Everyone on the X-Files. I feel like I hate you. Knock him. You're keeping the money? You're a piece of shit. What? I was promoting Code Nick heavy this morning.

Nice. I actually directly stole Owen's tweet. Oh, nice. That's my favorite code of the day. Code Nick. So how's everyone doing? Hungry. Thanks, bro. I needed that. Code Nick. Yeah. So how's everyone doing? I'm wrong. Hungry?

Thanks, bro. I needed that. I'm hungry again. Tass is a piece of shit, dude. I know you ate, dude. I didn't eat shit. You're such a piece of shit. He's a slimy shit.

For starters, I'm not going to win. A sentient piece of shit, dude. Also, I didn't eat anything. I'm hungry. I'm so hungry. What did you eat? I could tell he's hungry. I'm a hungry boy. Oh, he's not? He would be complaining infinitely more. I'm hungry. I'm so hungry. What did you eat? I could tell he's hungry. I'm a hungry boy.

Oh, he's not? He would be complaining infinitely more. Infinitely more. You see how calm he is? I don't really do that much. I don't complain much anymore. What? It's the old sass.

Yeah, he shed that sass. Because you ate last night, you fuck. You're so satiated. No, no, no, no. You're full. He's just a stuffed pig. I was actually with Francis last night, and Jordan Berry was there as well.

So you can ask them. Ask if I was eating. Ask pig. I was actually with Francis last night, and Jordan Berry was there as well. So you can ask them. Ask if I was eating. Ask them if I was eating. And they'll say I didn't see a crumb of food. Jordan Berry texted me. She said you were slurping oysters and spitting them back in your throat. Swishing them around your mouth. That would be a psycho move.

Oh, no, I'm doing like a fast thing. Yeah. I just wanted to taste it. I just wanted the aphrodisiac powers. Oh, Frank, the'm doing like a fast thing. I just wanted to taste it. I just wanted the aphrodisiac powers. Oh, Frank, the stairs. Going downstairs. Oh, he's screaming. Screaming at someone.

Usually an elevator guy. Wednesday. By the way, Stephen is very hungry because he said on other, what are the goat type of French fries? Curly, crinkle cut, steak fries, regular thin. I think lattice cut fries. What are lattice cut? the lattice like the uh waffle yeah i'm a big i mean mcdonald's has the best fries yeah oh i don't think so oh i think so

and you're wrong if you feel like a fry depends on the situation when i was a little kid and i was at the pool all day and they had the little snack bar stand i'm normally not a crinkle cut fry lady but a good crinkle cut with some salt and ketchup, that's a pool day. You're in the car, give me a McDonald's fry.

If I'm here, I prefer a waffle. Interesting. At work, it depends. I do agree with that. Curly fries are also, I mean, curly fries are very situational, but

If you're drunk, curly fries are a good seasoning with a beer. Yes. Those are very good. I like the big boys, the potato ones. Tater tots. I don't know. potato ones. First meal cannot be McDonald's.

Maybe get it for Sass because he just ate like 10 minutes before he got in here. I didn't eat anything today. You were walking in hitting your vape and I thought you were just eating a Cliff Boy. I thought about it because I was like, usually I go and I get a

granola bar and a Red Bull. Today I said, you know what, I won't. I use the printer upstairs for the prep sheets and I walked through the kitchen and there are sandwiches and cookies upstairs in the kitchen. Unreal. Unreal. Unreal. One of the things I remember about last time is how bad I felt after I ate right away.

Like I ate after not having eaten. What did we eat last time? Taco Bell or some shit? I can't remember. I'm ordering McDonald's right now. Leave me out of this. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying. I was ordering McDonald's. I'm literally ordering McDonald's for us.

God bless. I don't want any of it. I'm starving. You're going to eat some, bro. Spin the wheel. Spin the 7 o'clock wheel. Shove that stuff down your face. I don't want any of it I'm starving you're gonna eat some bro spin the wheel spin the spin the seven o'clock wheel shove that stuff down your face

down your throat I don't think so yeah you feeder no no no no yes you are yes you are dude

probably feel good after you eat the McDonald's I'll feel shitty if I eat McDonald's which is why I won't because my body's been conditioned to reject grease you are made of grease

you are a walking grease stain let's spin the wheel to see who has to go till 7 let's check your Uber Eats let's see your order history now I know you did it oh that's a good way to check order history exactly dude is diet coke cheating

because I so slug in Diet Cokes. Yes, it's cheating. Why is Diet Coke cheating? It's zero calories. Black coffee only is the only thing. Black coffee. There's caffeine in it. Diet Coke is zero calories.

There's caffeine in Black Coffee. It's an unwritten rule. I had to chew gum like a madman to get net negative calories. I had to chew sugar-free gum. Legend. Oh, wow. Zaza legend. Zaza dedicated.

Use promo code ZAW on MerchPolize. Or Rone if you want the money back. Or ZAW if you want him to have promo code ZAW on merch. Oh, my God. Or ZAW if you want him to have it. I'm good with either. Or little sass, sorry. I'm giving away all of them. You just said you're going to keep it, dude. That's just busting balls, though.

I'm giving away all of them to one person. You haven't busted a ball in your life. One individual follower of mine. Yeah, I actually don't want to see my number at the end of this. I'd rather not. Oh, no. I don't want to see my number at the end of this i'd rather not oh no i don't want to six no what six sales like two people yeah it's both are my dad there's a fine line of like do you want to try to win and if not then like don't try at all there is a you got to go all or nothing yeah saying you're gonna give the money away is Venice-like. Yes, FODs, baby. People go crazy for those.

People love it. People are like, everyone's like, I'm giving mine to, like Billy's giving his to charity. Yeah. No, you're not.

What charity is he going to give it to? No, he's not doing any of that. He also will not, he'll fuck up the taxes again. Remember when he just didn't pay taxes

on his rough and rowdy. You see Tim Dillon's doing like a His merch sale is doing For every $400,000 of merch he sells He's donating $5 to the homeless Oh that's huge He made a promo video And it was fucking hilarious

Spin this wheel right now So we know who doesn't get to eat McDonald's I hope it's me I'm actually pretty hungry. I've been eating. I ordered a lot. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, but like, oh wait, Nick and KB are done.

I don't know. Sure. Yeah. Those cheating bastards. I am on edge. I like it. It is like a drug, being hungry. Yeah, it really is.

I had more of a fear of death as I was... Yeah, let's go. KB? Is this elimination? No, it's just KB's not here, so... Oh, sorry, Owen. No, it's elimination. Elimination.

Oh, it's elimination. You're right, you're right, it's elimination. Oof. Oof. Is it someone who can't eat until 9 p.m.? Bro, you're eating McDonald's, you bitch. I'm not. You are.

You have to. Can I just get a banana? No, you have to eat a banana. Do they have fruit cup? Order me, put in another order for a fruit cup. This is going to suck if I just order $200 worth of McDonald's. How much is $200 worth of McDonald's? Yeah, that's so much food.

I'm not going to get to eat any of it. Oh, no. This is going to be brutal. No, you're going to be good. That's also the promo code you should be using. Ah, promo code Zah! It's Brandon. What do we do?

We kill him. You gotta kill his dumb ass. Come on, TJ. His ass is eating. He's already been eating the whole time. I haven't been eating. Oh, shit. You hear his lying voice again? Yes! There you go. Thank God. Do you hear his lying voice again? Yes. All right.

There you go, kid. Thank God. We're all hoping it's Steven, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'll take the bullet. No, you don't get to say that. Don't steal that from us. What?

You're saying I'll take the bullet. Don't steal our satisfaction of having to watch you suffer. You're not a hero. God damn it. Damn it. Oh, he's so good. what happens is you're good brandon brandon's cheated the whole time definitely yeah brandon didn't eat for 12 hours his body shut down he's sick and it's brandon no it's yeah it's it's t. I feel fine. I think my brain might turn off at like 8 p.m.

Okay. All right. You only got to make it to 7, right? 7. Wait until you smell the fries. Oh, man. That's going to be tough. Steven are going to be eating those fries in there.

I do feel like my sense of smell is more acute. Yeah. Like I'm- Becoming more primal. Smelling people's fear on me. I don't want you to eat either. You know what I mean? I think if you get to day four, you might be gone.

I know. I feel like I'm elevating at every point. What's that hat? My boy Alexander Charles makes it. No, you just grew that this morning. You felt like it. I just grew a hat. What is it?

Alexander Flower Child Studios. I'm pretty sure. He just sent it to me. I ordered it. He sent me some extra shit. Dude, the love that just exudes from human beings. Here comes Julio. I still don't understand how his name's not Julio.

I know. I'm going to ask him that. Come on in. Francis, Julio. What's up, man? Oops, the podcast. Now part of Barstool Sports. This is Julio Gallarotti.

What's going on, man? Good to meet you. I don't know if we've met. Have we met? Can I ask a question that might not be rude, whatever. Why is it not Julio? It's Italian. Ah! Damn. That's right. It's the most common question I get,

to be honest. So you're a WAP. I'm a WAP, dude. I can say that my children are a quarter Italian. We don't find that offensive, Italians as a group. There's no word that you can offend Italians with. No. You can say anything about Italians. Really?

One race you're still about to be racist against. A race. That's a sick name now, because I thought your name kind of sucked because you just weren't pronouncing it correctly. And Julio's like a great name. like julius caesar yeah i mean julius yeah yeah like i think it's literal the literal translation is julius really yeah nice i don't know dude i would argue that my name as is i appreciate that but i think it does kind of suck for this specific for this exact reason that yeah like i'm the asshole who asked you a question that

you just had to deal with your entire childhood. Like every day, the first day of school, they're like, is Julio here? You're like, it's Julio. Yeah. Just every day you had to deal with that. Yeah. I get greeted with like animosity because people think I've taken liberties with an existing name and changed the pronunciation. Just fucking. It is.

So Oops! A Podcast, now part of Barstool Sports. Yeah. Are you, Julio, are you, are Saturdays for the boys for you or what? No. Like, I guess. Are we leaving? Like, what a...

Yeah, Saturday. Saturday's for the boys, dude. Let's fucking do it. When someone comes up to you on the street and they're like, hey, Dave Portnoy sucks, you have to fight them. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to learning about all that. Portnoy sucks. You have to fight them. I'm looking forward to learning about all that. Alright, good.

We'll teach you. Julio just got back from Afghanistan. Whoa. Are you stealing valor? Kate went to Afghanistan for different reasons. My time here is done. You served. What were you doing there? She was a waitress in it.

Kebabs. I was just making some videos, honestly. Sort of like docu-style vlogging kind of thing. Okay. And what was the takeaway? Cool place? Not cool place? Chill?

Dude, it's not a place I'd recommend for anybody who doesn't have extensive experience encountering soldiers. Got it. If that makes sense. I would say that's the baseline. If you're not really adventurous, it's probably not the trip for you. Wait, so were you worried at all about your safety? At first, no.

But then after enough forced hangouts with the taliban i then was like okay this isn't as like funny as you were with them yeah like i spent too a lot of time with them really really so like why don't you do something dude why don't you stop them nuts dude i like you thank you it's scary they are chill but like the way let me finish let me finish they are chill but in the way we're like you don't want them to become unchill right so you're like answering every question the way you think they want it to be answered like you want it to go well and you want to leave i the only the taliban don't seem like pretty they don't seem like good people but

when they did take back the capital and they were at that dude's house lifting weights and jumping in the pool, it was like a total dude's rock moment. It was just like a bunch of dudes hanging out. Like, what is the first thing we do when we take back our country? We do some bicep curls and hop in a pool. Julia was just cannonballing with that. Then they shut down all the women's. Yeah, and then it was like, oh, not cool anymore. Then they got even cooler.

Where's that bitch Malala? Yeah, that part wasn't cool. So wait, did you... I can't believe you were just chilling with the Taliban. I wasn't, like, chilling with them. They forced you to chill with them. That's legal? Like, you could do that?

Like, you don't want... You could come back to America after that? I know. Yeah, I had absolutely no problems. Bo Bergdahl? That's crazy. I don't even know that story. There was no, like, yeah, no sort of.

They ask you any questions at customs? Wait, so you can just fly right into Kabul airport now and just. Yeah. You're, I'm an American and they don't care. Direct flight from Dubai. It takes like two, three and a half hour or three hours. How long were you there for? Like eight days.

Wow. Who were you there with? So I had a guide and like to clarify like i i was i didn't choose to hang out with the taliban they they chose you so this is something interesting everybody in afghanistan look could be like and all of us could be from afghanistan like it's super diverse yeah yes people have blue eyes and from when the russians were there and like it's like super like whatever um so if you don't speak another language besides one of the local languages they'll never know that you're a foreigner but like if they stop you at a checkpoint and they happen to ask a couple questions like once that happens and they figure out that you're

a foreigner they want to ask you questions they want to take pictures of you they want to make you a muslim they'll come you have to come meet our commander. You're like, oh, I would, but I gotta go get a haircut or whatever. You make up excuses, and then they accept your excuses. They go, okay, no problem. Sometimes they don't. So I don't know. Enough of that, and I was like, dude, I want to go home.

That's crazy. I think that we're on a 24-hour fast right now. I don't think that being a Muslim would be that hard, dude. I used to think that Kyrie Irving be that hard, dude. Ramadan easy. I used to think that Kyrie Irving, when he would have to play a basketball game after fasting all day, I'd be like, oh, dude, definitely bet against him. It's going to be a terrible game.

This shit is easy. I could put up 30 right now. 30 and 10, no problem. I might do Ramadan just as a tourist, dude. I might just fast all day. You ever see the prayer rooms at airports in Middle Eastern countries? They're always just sleeping in there.

Comfortable as hell. Kindergarten. It's not hard. You guys are all fasting right now? Yeah. You're 24 hours in? Yeah. How do you feel?

Good. So sharp, like a drug. I feel sharper than ever. I ordered $200 worth of McDonald's, Yeah. How do you feel? Good. Sharp. So sharp. Like a drug. Sass didn't do it. Sass is fake. I feel sharper than ever. Sass didn't do it. I ordered $200 worth of McDonald's, though, so you guys are going to have to eat with us. Probably too much McDonald's.

It'll probably be harder for Francis than fasting would have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He eats at McDonald's. I'm not one of those people. I'm not one of them. He's not a McDonald's guy. No. No, I'm not.

Julio, how was Francis' wedding? Man, it was awesome. Nice. It was really special. I was hoping you didn't get invited. Break up oops, a podcast right here on the act. He gave the best man speech. Oh, fuck yeah.

Hell yeah. Not only did he get invited, he was front and center. How long was the best man speech? It was like probably 10 minutes. Yeah, probably about that. No, no, it was perfect. He told me. He gave me a time. He was like, you know yeah probably about that no no it was perfect he told me he gave me a time he was like you know like 10 ish minutes so like i was prepared for that and to be honest dude the bartender at your fucking wedding i go and order a drink after my speech

he goes good speech he goes was a little long yeah at least like five to seven is the right zone take your tip back yeah but he was he was smashing because he's a comedian. Oh, you are? Yeah. I'm just kidding. I knew that. So it was like people didn't want it to end. You have a Netflix special?

It's like an ensemble special, but I'm a part of it. Who else is in it? It was like a Pete Davidson presents. Oh. How big is his cock? I think the legends may be true about that. Okay.

All right. I think he's packing. I watched that, though. It was great. Thanks, man. Nice. Is that a funny point? Yeah.

Francis, is that how you knew about, like, you dropped, like, kind of a niche Afghanistan reference last night on Fox News. No, I'm just a huge fan of War. Yeah, I like that movie, War. Yeah, yeah, that's a great one.

War Dogs. Red Restrepo, yeah. On Joe Rogan, Shane Gillis was talking about the book you recommended him, wasn't he? Yes, that's right. That's kind of a flex by you which is like a book about like the middle eastern war right shane dropped my name on uh just joe rogan god damn him he was like right there he could have easily like it's not the first time that that's happened they drive right up to the the edge with joe and then don't say my name yeah what is that

book yeah what's that uh that black flags the rise of isis tremendous book actually joe joe b war warwick or something real easy read it's it actually is and it's very exciting and uh it's really really interesting i would highly recommend i think it won the pulitzer it's really good non-fiction yeah yeah it's the story of like how isis started and and kept going and and where they are now. I might buy that. Are they still doing shit? They kind of fell off a little bit. They're active in Afghanistan.

Well, they're beefing with the Taliban. Yeah, they're fighting with the Taliban. Who's bigger, though? ISIS is very much on the outskirts, though. They're still trying to do shit, but the Taliban has it under control, it appears. They don't like each other? No. Oh. How don't like each other? No. How's the food in Afghanistan?

I think I would describe it as rustic. Shabby chic. It's good, but every bite of meat will have a bone shard in it, potentially. It's good. Rustic. I like that.

It's just dangerous. There's a lot of good bread, a lot of good rice dishes. The food is good. I was worried. I didn't want to get sick, so I tried to not be too adventurous. I ended up getting sick anyway. Everything's deep fried in oil there. Everything is cooked in this orange oil, pretty much, at least.

I try to avoid that, but yes. Super greasy. Yeah, a lot of greasy stuff for sure. Is that kind of weird that Julia went on vacation and you were like, yeah, I went there. We talked about that. For many months. On CBT when Donnie went to Iraq.

Yeah. And did a video there and Jeff was like, I got shot there. Kind of a weird vibe. It kind of sucks. It is interesting though. I'm glad people can go and like, whatever. I don't know if i would but yeah i went to iraq too like uh last year and iraq is like you're you could take your family on vacation you like you've got to be on some lists right i don't you know i don't know hanging

out with the talismans i would think so too i'm like waiting for like the fbi yeah on the door to just like i've heard that that happens sometimes to people. They just want to like ask questions. It's more like, it sounds like they like want to gather intelligence, honestly, more than anything. What's going on over there since we fucked that up? What have you been doing?

I don't think it would be the FBI so much as like Mossad. Banna is going to come in with his buddies and just shoot you with one of those. That trip could be a problem for me. Yeah, Israel. But as long as you have a U.S. passport, you're good, I think. If you don't have a U.S. passport,

by going to those places, you waive the sort of visa-free program. You need to apply for a visa again. What about Russia? Are you going to do Russia next? I've been there. Recently? In 2019. That would do numbers on the podcast to do Russia next? I've been there. Recently? In 2019.

I would do numbers on the podcast if you became a political prisoner, just saying. I'm just saying. They'd still let you record? Probably. Like, maybe. Yeah. I said, hey, guys. You and Brittany Griner just hanging out?

Yeah. Like on rap albums when guys do a verse from jail or whatever? You're just doing your podcast part. I'm locked up. So, wrapping into the phone. How is Oops! the podcast doing? You guys started, what, right after you got fired, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And what was your Oops! Wasn't the genesis of the podcast, like, big mistakes? I think that was originally our conceit, yeah. But then, you you know we would always ask our guests if they had a life-altering mistake that had they'd learned from and things like that but you know it we eventually just sort of moved away from that and and uh remained in this in this zone of like uh let's call it male neuroses and hanging out yeah hanging out that's what every

podcast is at the end of the day. Yeah, right. It's like you might talk about different things, but good podcasts are just hanging out. True. So what was your big oops? I didn't have one specifically that kind of propelled me into doing the podcast with Francis. It was more of like Francis's mistake. I think the fire one was pretty good. Oh, that's true.

I did start a fire by accident. So did Owen. Oh, so did I. I got arrested. Oh, I didn't. Arrested for it. Oh pretty good. Oh, that's true. I did start a fire by accident. So did Owen. So did I. I got arrested for it. Oh, shit. You didn't? No. Where did you start a fire? It was the stupidest crime ever committed.

In the middle of the day, not even with daytime fireworks. You know about daytime fireworks? Yeah. I was just bored on a road trip i'd bought fireworks in like wyoming or something and then i decided to like blow off some steam by like shooting one off on the side of the road and then like started a gigantic fire a forest fire like effectively yeah like fuck dude it was a feel it was a field fire and they didn't seem like when the fire department showed up,

like they didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal. But it was like hundreds of yards of blazing fire. Wow. Shit. That's crazy. So you got arrested for that? Yeah. And like I had like five court dates.

It was, dude, I like did yoga that morning. Like it was like the stupidest. Well, that's like the couple that did the gender reveal. I just feel like that's a really like unusual thing. That sets up the day. OJ played golf the day after he killed Nicole Brown I feel like arsonists don't also like do yoga and also the fact that you were lighting them to blow off steam clearly the yoga didn't fucking work yeah practiced hard bad luck it sucked yeah it was really really stupid it was like also like I was 30 years old like it Yeah, true. I practiced harder. That's bad luck. That sucked, yeah. It was really, really stupid.

It was like, also like I was 30 years old. Like it was like the crime of a 13-year-old. Right. That's how old I was. How'd they get you? Dude, I went back to the seat of the crime. Oh, no. Every arsonist.

What? They all want to watch the fire. Yeah. That's literally what happens. He brought a date. You see that charred acre over there? That's me. That's me.

So were they like, hey, why are you here? So what happened was I had realized that I had left some incriminating evidence at the scene of the crime. I initially drove away. What was the incriminating evidence? Like a bottle. Something that they would have never pinned me for. But like a bottle that I had left, that I had gotten from the hotel that I was at previously.

I was like, I need to go get that. So I show back up at this huge fire. There was already good Samaritans gathered. And I was like, oh, man, what happened here? Someone better get that bottle. So I went to get the bottle. They realized what had happened. And they're like, don't go anywhere.

Oh, no way. Wait, like the citizens? Yeah. No. Did you try and say, like, I didn't know. Oh my God. Oh, no way. Wait, like the citizens? Yeah. No. Did you try and say like, I didn't know it started a fire right away or did you know

and you were just like, well. So this is the problem. I was with my friend whose house I lived at for free. Yeah. His parents like let me live at his house.

I was like crashing. So like I just immediately wanted to assume all responsibility because I didn't want him to get in trouble because I was going to get kicked out.

So you were just like, I hand up. I did it. Whatever. Went down, took the L for the boys. How did they know it was you? They all came to agreement. They were like, this guy did the fire. Basically, when I grabbed the bottle,

when the police arrived, this lady was like, he grabbed the bottle. The guy's like, why'd you grab the bottle? She's like, I saw him grab the bottle. I was like, it was me. I did the bottle, when the police arrived, this lady was like, he grabbed a bottle. The guy's like, why'd you grab the bottle? And she's like, I saw him grab the bottle. And I was like, it was me. I did the fire. That's crazy. Threw me in the car. Honest Abe over here.

Fuck. I know. Was it a cool fuck? Oh my God. Since no property, like houses or anything were damaged, I would say yes. Since it took it out of the first degree arson category, which I believe is a felony. Yeah.

That would have been problematic. It's like a manslaughter type of arson. It was like a more gentle arson. Baby arson. Only two babies were killed. Correct. And they were just laying in the field. That is so crazy.

You didn't have to go to jail or anything. I did, yeah. No, but just like the county jail. Like serve time or anything. I was worried that I was going to have to go to jail or anything. I did, yeah. No, but just like the county jail. Like serve time or anything. I was worried that I was going to have to pay a fine or anything. I didn't have to pay anything. I had to do 80 hours of community service, which I did. And I had like a lawyer and stuff.

But after like a year, it was off my record. I think it's still always on your record though, right? Yeah. Probably. It's never really expunged. It's pretty cool, though. Yeah, that's pretty sweet. It's a wild story.

I've been to jail. People are like, oh, yeah, I went to jail. It's usually like, oh, I was pissing in public in college or something like that. It's like arson. That's fucking cool. Yeah, yeah. It's not cool. The crime's not cool, but being able to say you did it is kind of cool.

It kind of is cool. The crime is cool. Absolutely cool. I'm an arsonist but being able to say you did it is kind of cool. It kind of is cool. The crime is cool. Absolutely cool. I'm an arsonist. You're an arsonist. Kind of hot. It must have been pretty thrilling to watch it. It just exploded into flames.

You want to do it again? Start real small. Should we do it again somewhere? I agree. Arson is the crime where I can't relate to serial killers. I don't want to kill someone but arson who doesn't love starting and watching a fire yeah oh yeah there's definitely some some thrill and warmth and and comfort in that i was very smart by francis there to be like i i would

never serial kill whose body is that whoa a body come on he already said he wouldn't do it how would that get there he did it he grabbed the body trying to take the ear

as a second ear he won't do it he'll just write about it yeah right exactly the fact that they caught you grabbing the bottle is so crazy

so funny yeah it's so all of it is so stupid like realistically seeing how not of a big deal they thought the fire was, I swear to you all, it was massive blazing fire. To them, it was like not a big deal. Uh-huh.

I feel like if I had just not gone back, I likely would have never. Yeah. They would have just been like, oh, fire got started. No shot. Yeah. They'd be like, oh, well, shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Someone put out a cigarette. Whoops. Right. Right., right. All right. No fireworks in Colorado. Anybody listening? So are you a full-time Barstool Sports employee yet?

I don't know. We should make you one. We're still figuring it out. I appreciate that. We're figuring out the specifics. Then Rico can squeeze you out. Have you met Rico? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should just give you just like the full Francis.

You should just make a video of like introducing Julio to everyone here. That'd be fun. Because like, how do you explain half of this office? Good point.

Frank was just, I don't know if you guys saw it, Frank was just pressed up. He really tried. I don't know what he was doing. You were in the middle of a beautiful,

I'm really starting to worry that maybe my talk with Frank is not going to take. It didn't go as well as I thought it did. I'm really starting to worry that maybe my talk with Frank. It's not going to take. It didn't go as well as I thought it did. I don't know what was that. Because I told him we're not doing Frank Tank Thursday anymore. And I think maybe in his head he was like, I'll just come in whenever I want now.

It's full time now. So it's open ended. Steven, you want to grab the McDonald's? It just showed up. That would be hilarious if he was just like, all right, we're doing Tuesdays and stuff. Yeah, it's like we're just doing whenever I have a thought, I'm going to come on the show. I think what he really was trying to make that in here.

Julio, I noted earlier to Francis that you had, it seemed, powerful hips is kind of what I noticed. Childbearing. Childbearing. Powerful with my word. But he said that you... You don't watch McDonald's. That's a lot.

This is absurd. This is for like four people. But I am so excited for this meal. This might be how I just eat meals now. Yeah. Wait a day and then have like six meals worth. What college? Boston University.

Good at tennis? Yeah. I mean, I guess it depends who you ask. But yeah, I mean, we were like a Division I program. Give me your grunt. Oh! Interesting. I'm more of a...

I like that. Just a quick, short one. That's a little more... Bark squeal. Yeah, yeah. Me again. I want to hear it again. You're joking.

Me? Me? You're looking away from me. He keeps turning to the left. Because I was trying to get all the,

I have to like, pull it up. Oh, that's good. Very Spanish. It is. Yeah. You guys want some McDonald's Does everyone have McDonald's? Does everyone have McDonald's?

I better not. I like the thought of none of us having any and you just sitting with four bags around you. Steven, come grab something. Raza and you. Not TJ. I don't want to torture my guy TJ like that. I'll eat after.

Yeah, let's go. It's kind of fucked up to come on this show and not have a fry. You've been eating cave dirt for the last two weeks. Wait, so when did you get back from Afghanistan? Like, probably ten days ago. Oh, damn. Is your family like, hey, dude?

They're not that cool about it. Yeah, I was going to say. I have to groom them. So I usually tell my girlfriend, and I start early, and I'll start grooming her to be open to the idea. I share. For the record she's not under 18. I give her

candy and I'm like hey I'm going to go to Afghanistan. I start I start And when I come back we're going to start a family. You'll be old enough. I start with where I'm thinking of going, and I start showing that it's going to be somewhere controversial.

Then I'll start sharing stories of other people who've successfully done something similar to what I'm trying to do. And then I reinforce the idea that I'm not trying to put myself in danger. Right. And then I will drop the final plan on her like a month before. And I don't tell my parents. I always lie to them. I tell them I'm going to lie to them.

I actually appreciate that. If I were your parents, I would be like, don't tell me. Yeah. Yeah. They get mad. And then when I get back, they usually end up thinking it's cool. This one in particular, they still weren't that cool about and are still not that cool about.

But I did do some cool shit there. Like, i did end up doing some like philanthropic stuff that i kind of didn't intend to do um i met some really nice people like we i made what i think is going to be really cool stuff so like i'm happy i did it and is it for your own youtube channel like what is it for exactly yeah my youtube channel kind of like sucks to be honest but like yes it's just honestly for the sake of doing it because i like doing it yeah uh the iraq thing that that I did is doing fairly well for me. And just clip it up and throw it on my channel.

You got to go on somewhere with Donnie. I know. I know. He's so good, man. I love his videos. Yeah, he did Iraq. He did the- Where do you want-

You do Afghanistan too? No. No. He did, I think, Kyrgyzstan or one of the countries right next to it. Tajikistan. Tajikistan is what it did. He did a good Tajikistan one. And you went there as well, didn't you?

I have not been there yet, no. In very Donnie fashion, I was his emergency contact, and I didn't know until he got back. I didn't know until he got back. Sam Decker, a mutual friend of ours who plays basketball, he was in Turkey, texted me when Donnie got back. He was like, just so you know, the chain of command was Donnie was going to text me.

If I didn't hear from Donnie for three days, I was supposed to text you and be like, hey, problem. I was like, what the fuck would I do? You would have got it done, though. No, but Donnie's like, hey, Dave, Erica, Donnie's in Iraq. I don't know anything else. Like, what's the next step there? All the police? I think you would have gotten to the bottom of it.

As we just called the NYPD, we're like, hey, you guys figure this out. Donnie's in Iraq. They'd probably get over there. They'd probably get boots on the ground. What was your plan if you got in any type of trouble over there? It was also to call me. To be honest, I would think that it would

be foolish, especially in Afghanistan. What is my emergency contact going to do? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we don't even have an embassy. So there's like an embassy hotline that you can call for like nearby people. I was just putting basically the trust in my like fixers and like guides and stuff to be able to get me out of trouble where I had to get myself into it. You know what I mean?

I realized that it was like a risk. So I tried to have like not too ambitious of an itinerary, which of didn't end up panning out but i don't know it was just like a risk that i was willing to take that like seemed not that risky how do you find the the that's gotta be the most important piece yeah it definitely is important um you there's this like facebook group um fixers no it's you it's like uh like for sort of like extreme travelers so like for any destination there'll be these people love to like

put their entire report of their trip up yeah trip report like uh so usually it's easy to find somebody who's kind of like

vouched for three or four times to hit up yeah um and yeah but it requires definitely a lot of planning that's awesome

sweet as hell are there other places you're trying to go? Obviously, if you've got the itch to travel, there's got to be other ones on the list. You got it. North Korea? I would like to go to North Korea. The North Korea...

That's psycho. The North Korea video, though, I don't know how interesting it would be because it's hard to film. Can't film. Oh. You can't really film much. Yeah, it'd be very interesting, though,

if you get anything. Yeah, true, true. I can't see, yeah. There's a really good Vice one that's like six parts. The founder of Vice, I think, did it. Cokehead guy?

Shane? The Canadian guy? Or the Nazi guy? Shane Smith? I think it's the overweight Canadian guy. Okay, so not the Nazi one. Correct.

Nazi one. Gavin? Oh, jeez. He's the head of the Proud Boys. Is he? He's not actually a Nazi, but I don't know what the Proud Boys. He's not actually a Nazi, but... I don't know.

Isn't that guy's name? Gavin Newsom. Gavin McInnes. Gavin McInnes. Gavin Newsom, also a Nazi, but on... Yes, different. Yeah, the different sides of the political spectrum. They meet in the middle.

It's fascism. You know something funny? Is that... So, Julio and I... The last time I saw him was at our wedding. And then I left on our honeymoon the next night. And then he went off to Afghanistan. And we've both been back for about a week.

But we talk frequently, obviously. But we avoid massive content areas that we want to save for the podcast. Oh, we just burned like a week of material in 20 minutes on the yak. No, you know what's good though? This is something interesting though. Some of these conversations never would have come up on our podcast actually.

So it's a nice sort of like exercise. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. I feel we still have a lot. No, no. Yeah, we'll be fine.

And we are also- Like what? Like for example, you said you feel like you have a lot. Give me an example of what else you have. I'll tell you in our car ride home. Don't you worry about it, big cat. Yeah, let's just keep prying.

Come on. Oh, man. Wedding? Maybe- Yeah, a lot of wedding stuff. Wedding. Honeymoon, honeymoon stuff. Our honeymoon, yeah.

Honeymoon stuff. How was that, by the way? I know what you're doing. You know me. I love to talk You're picking at the fish He's giving away the international stories I know you got a gang of them I sure do

You're driving alongside that village of people They were running along Where was that by the way? That was in Rwanda I was seeing everything over there And every time I would see something I would see something, I would say, boy, I've got WandaVision.

That's pretty good. That's pretty fucking nice. It's okay. It's pretty good. The cat didn't like it. No, that was good. That was Frank the Tank. Skinnier Frank the Tank. Wait, so when does your podcast come out?

Tuesdays and Thursdays. Oh, nice. I don't have any podcasts I listen to on those days. Zero Plug 30 comes out those days. Shit. What the fuck? And what are we going to do about it? Should we fight them?

Dude, you told us that you would listen if we put it on Tuesdays. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Shit. I promise you'd listen, dude. Oops. So wait, and then you tape it Mondays and Wednesdays? We kind of shift around. We usually do a double recording session.

And you're going to start recording it here every week? Yep. So Julia. Do you know who your first guest is going to be? We haven't had really guests. Not guests, so it's just, okay. That's smart. That's smart.

You know why we moved away from it? It's because the second you start asking people to come on your podcast, all of a sudden they think they're doing you a favor. Yeah. Which sometimes is the case, but most often it's not. Yeah. And then they're like, the day of, they'll be like, oh shoot, hey, can we move it till four?

And you're like, dude, what? There's also no, there's no good way to ask someone to come on your podcast. You always feel like a douchebag. Yeah, but you don't. Oh, yes, I do. I absolutely feel like a douchebag when I ask people. Really? Yeah, because we have a booker who does most of that.

But yeah, DMing someone who I want to get on the podcast, being like, hey, you want to come on the podcast? It's kind of soft. But can't you then be like i i am a host of pardon my take you know what it is it's the number one sports podcast in the world yeah etc etc word podcast what the word yeah for you i don't know it's just i guess i also have ptsd i saw i've told this story before but i saw beck bennett and k Kyle Mooney on the F train to Brooklyn once. And I have a mutual friend with Beck. And I was like, yeah, we'd love to have you on our podcast.

And as I said it, I was like, what the fuck did I just do? He's like, he doesn't listen to sports podcasts. So like saying that just on a train being like, yeah, come on to my Brooklyn. Yeah. Like very on the nose. Kill me. Did they do it no I just ran well actually I got cocked there was a I started talking to him and there was a girl standing next to me and she was like she had been wanting to ask them something because she was a

big fan the minute I started talking to him she just jumped in and took over. Saw an opening and I was just like, okay. Damn. She had a good ass podcast too. It was Michael Barbaro. That woman. It was actually, the woman was Joe Rogan. That's where you should have just walked with them home and done a slight detour into a sports bar. Followed them, yeah.

People would be like, oh, Big Cat. And you'd be like, oh, shoot. Wow. Guy just tosses me a football on the street. Yeah, see? Sports. Wearing your merch. Okay.

And they really just hang out like that? It's probably hilarious. So good. Be a fly on the wall. I know. They're not on fucking trains. Is Kyle still on SNL? No, they both left. That guy's so funny.

Do you guys want to be on SNL? I don't know. Not really, honestly. No? No. What if they let you be on? What if they're like, hey, you're on SNL? What would be the point? I think getting SNL would be cooler than being on it. Sass wants to be on SNL very badly. No, I don't. I think you could be.

No, I don't want to be on it, but I think he could. He could be awesome. This is dumb, but what do they get paid? I'm curious to't. I think you could be. No, I don't want to be on it, but I think he could. He could be awesome. He could. This is dumb, but what do they get paid? I'm curious to know. What are you making? I think they get paid mostly in cocaine.

It's not great. I know it's not great. It's not a good rate. For the amount that you're working and stuff, I don't think it's incredible. In success, the longer you're there,

the better it is. I think that would be one of those things that depending on the pay, if they ask me. I have a great strategy for you to get on SNL snl actually what you can do is you can stay here and make it clear that you're here for yourself uh not work well with the sales team and then one day just fall on a grenade of your own making and then hit up lauren michaels and be like see yeah i did yeah

that was a good idea yeah what did did Lawrence say when you did do that? It turned out I didn't actually have his real number. Ah, fuck. What the fuck? Who gave you the number? Who gave you the fake? Pete Davidson. Oh, no, man.

That would be amazing. I feel like to be on SNL, for me at least, the industry isn't bashing my door down trying to get me to audition for SNL. So in order for me to want to be on SNL, if I'm wrong about this, I'd have to be doing SNL type of things, which I'm just not doing. So it would be crazy. If I were to be like, I want to be on SNL,

that would just be a ridiculous thing for me to say. Right. Because my actions are not backing that. You'd also have to start going by Julio. Be gay. Yeah, be gay. Who's this? Who just walked in?

Those are the boys. Oh, that's our squad. You have this many people? Stu. Wait, Stu Feiner's son is your producer? What the fuck? Stu Feiner's son just has to sit there all day. I don't know what's going on right now.

He's been, I don't know where Stu went. That woman in a bodysuit is in your squad? So who's part of the squad? These two guys here. Are they full time? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, there are two guys. Podcast is doing well. It's doing pretty good, man. Chris has been there from the beginning. I mean, it's, you know, modest,

but we hope now being here we're going to grow and stuff. Did you see that hug? Did you see how he hugged Francis? He closed his eyes and put his head on his shoulder. He was so earnest. So now that Francis is out of here, what do you actually think about him? I have something to

say. What? I did something this morning that I thought was going to be very funny. Oh no. And now Oh no. Now I feel very uncomfortable and awkward about what I've done. Okay, what have you done, Kate? Nothing.

Everyone keep talking. It's fine. What did you do? What did you do? I didn't do anything. Someone coming here? No. Did people just get kicked out?

No, maybe. Just say it. Those people just got kicked out? No. Was that a stripper? What just happened? Who were those people, Kate? It was a stripper.

Oh, no. Was that a stripper? Okay. What? Okay, hear me out. Mincy has no ass whatsoever. Where the fuck is Mincy's ass? Oh, my God.

Who the hell is it? What am I looking at right now? That is the craziest silhouette I've ever seen in my life. It's legit. Oh. Fuddling. Mincy. We're zooming in on your ass. Sorry.

That was all. We were just zooming in on your ass. Good, man. There ain't much there. Yeah, no. I'm going to wear my damn shorts up here to keep them on. You look good. You look just zooming in on your ass. Good, man. There ain't much there. Yeah, no. I'm going to wear my damn shorts up here to keep them on. You look good. You look like you've been losing weight. Once I'm done with the yak, I'll do that video with you.

I got to grab my charger. I got to go to the grocery store. Oh, okay. Come on in. You want some McDonald's? I don't think that's going to help the lifestyle. Okay. Wait, do you have your phone? Do you need your phone charger?

He didn't leave his charger. I'll wait a few minutes. We're probably going to be for another while. I'll be around later this afternoon. We'll do the video. All right. So what happened, Kate?

TJ, unrelated question. Do we have music we can play in here? I'm so confused. The headphones. I'm having a panic attack right now. Chica, do you put the headphones on? I, first of all.

I think they're gone, right? Or are they still here? No, they're gone. But that she'll be able to hear. You'd have to put the headphones on once. Hear me out. This morning, I genuinely thought I could get you all on board with, Julia, we're doing a merch sale where our names.

Oh, he's got a code. Oh, everyone has a code. It works at Barstool now. And 10% off. And so it's like whoever here can sell the most merch with their name as the promo code gets like a big money prize. Like 15 grand is the number one if you can sell the top. So I texted all the act guys this morning.

I said, let's all get on board. You all use my code. And we have a slush fund for like doing wacky things here that Big Cat started. And I was like well put all money except 20 that'll keep myself if you all push my code instead of your own um and i thought you guys were going to go for it because i'm an idiot i thought everyone would start pushing my code we'll put money in the axl fund and i thought i thought it would be a funny idea because i thought you guys were going to say yes to it to also have a razzle dazzle thing at the end of the show

to help me promote my code so who were those people they're still here oh no but a couple things i didn't think of i'm an awkward person i'm already dying right now at what i've done and uh sorry i'm awkward just just get get to it. Who are these in a stripper? She's supposed to come in here and strip, but we don't have music. We don't have a pole. Oh my god. We don't have anything. And then I'm gonna stand behind her and hold up my codes.

Oh no. I feel so uncomfortable already that I'm regretful. Whoa. Yeah, I'm sorry. So is she gonna strip? Yes. How much did you pay? That's the thing. Yeah, I'm sorry. So, is she going to strip? Yes. How much did you pay? That's the thing. You gotta spend money to make money.

I thought, well, if all the yak guys get on board with my code, I'll make this money back. But then it fell apart. Oh, no. I've spent some money. I got my tights full of ones. Oh, no. I know. Yes. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, my God. This is going to be so awkward. I don't know if I can be in the room. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

This is going to be so awkward. I don't know if I can be in the room. No, you have to. Don't leave me here. No, don't leave me here. Don't leave me here. No, I can't. Is she out there?

I'm going to go grab her. She's in the green room. I'm going to keep eating. I'm sticking around. I don't give a fuck. I'll watch this. Julia, you can stick around if you want to get stripped on. It just seemed funny this morning, and now I'm shaking with anxiety.

It's going to be horrendously awkward, but I love awkward moments, so this is fun for me. I'm not going to be able to. Sash, please stay. You have to stay. Sash, you have to be so uncomfortable. Sash, you have to stay. Please stay. Please.

Just code Yak on Roback. Please. Steven, do the Roback thing row back thing okay okay don't leave i'm feeling like dying okay row back the most comfortable hoodies in the game now they got joggers uh use code yak for 20 off your first order through the end of this week we all wear row back we love it performance hoodies q-sips joggers now are going to be huge uh actually have to get your guys sizes for that uh they're going to send us some so uh yeah because i was wearing rowback right now we're actually i'm wearing rowback

right now rowback the best thank you for the sponsorship did everyone get mcdonald's in there tj just eat. Yeah, TJ. I love that this is your first day at Barstool, Julio. Dude, this is good. Fries and shrimp are horrible today. Oh, it's going to be so horrendous. Is that her bodyguard? Yeah, definitely. He's probably got a gun.

Explaining this to the guy. You should pull her out of this if he was smart. Should she go change? Yeah. Oh yeah oh man i said no nudity or we're cooked the whole show is ruined uh oh man what have you done youtube i thought her outfit was good enough when she got here she was pretty low profile honestly like i didn't peg her for a stripper immediately i didn't even notice because your guys came in at the same time and then when you like started getting uncomfortable i was like what's going on here Dave's here too can Stu Feiner's

son come in for it yeah I'll grab him yeah bring him in McDonald's on the leaderboard right now you okay oh I'm up there PS5's for everyone yeah I'm gonna stop I want someone else to win someone please put me up there.

Oh, I'm number eight. I'm number eight. So there's a chance. Wait, so. Come on, Yak. Julia, what is the most annoying thing that Francis does that drives you nuts? Oh, my God. We will cut this part.

I don't know, dude. We'll cut this from the live show. I actually said this in my best man speech, so I don't feel, dude. We'll cut this from the live show. I actually said this in my best man speech, so I don't feel bad saying it again. Francis, I'll tell Francis something, but it won't, like, land. So, like, I'll tell him something he needs to know. Like, he'll have a question,

and I'll answer the question for him. And then, like, two weeks later, he'll tell me how, like, one of his trusted confidants told him how to handle the situation that I had already told him how to handle. So you, he doesn't view you as exactly. I'm not intelligent or like,

yeah, you're not source. Well, you didn't go to Ivy league school. Correct. Yeah. Right. And so there's these two,

two or three guys in particular who he like listens to as if they were like the prophet of some religion that he follows. And I made the point to like mention that in the speech. some religion that he follows and i made the point to like mention that in the speech oh that's great i didn't rip him too hard dude i i didn't want to roast him he's a good dude he's a good dude i was happy to be there it was a an honor to give the speech i love the guy yeah it was a lot of fun he's he's been stalking me and roan but he's a good dude it's fine how's it having him mac great um great this lady's gonna get us kicked off youtube yeah this is gonna be bad kate i'm ready i said please sir no nudity um no that i knocked

are you going big cat tell a stripper to do no nudity are you leaving no i'm taking a piss wow i also told them i promote their stripper site shout out at Banana Splits Party Strippers on Instagram you're coming back oh my god big cat is this a joke are you guys for real leaving I will fucking die I can't be in

if it's just us four I'm literally about to like grab onto your hoodie please don't leave I got like five minutes yeah Banana Splits Party Strippers in here. I'm literally about to grab onto your hoodie. Please don't leave. I got like five minutes. Yeah, banana splits, party strippers. TJ's going to put the link in the chat.

Should we just tell them, Kate, I will be in the room. I can't promise I'll be locked eyes on the action. Can you come sit in here, please? Can you come in and have a seat, please? This is important. Can you settle in and hang out with us for a second? It's only French fries and soda? Yep.

Yes, but come hang out. Please get comfortable. Put your headphones on. What is she doing right now? I don't know. I guess there's a lot more to it than I realized. Do you think as a stripper you like would hate this gig? Yes.

Or you don't care? Yeah. I was texting the guy. I was like, I want her to be comfortable, but this is weird. I sent her a photo of the room and it's like eight black chairs

in a semi-circle. It's like we're going to sacrifice her. Yeah. I wish I didn't just have this McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah. Remember Kate? 10% off.

We have a stripper coming in. Stripper coming in. It's going to be very interesting. Got to spend money to make money. Go ahead. No go. I was going to say, I just can't figure out what she's doing. Maybe stretching if she's good. I think so.

Who's your goat in tennis? For me, Federer, dude. Come on. It's Djokovic. Honestly, I love Djokovic. And I think he gets a bad rap because he's like of, you know, a Soviet bloc country. Yeah. I really think that that's a thing, dude. Yeah, and the anti-vax shit.

Anti-vax shit's not great for me. And when he assaulted a bald girl when he hit that. That could have happened to anyone. That's true. But again, that's Eastern Europe. They all have outbursts like that. No, that's Eastern Europe. He's a prettybursts like that. No, that's Eastern Europe. He's a pretty good dude, all things considered, from what I've seen.

I mean, he's like, to the guys on tour, he's the most gracious losing champion I've ever seen in my life. When he loses a match, he's so chill. I really, and I think he wants people to like him. Why is that a crime? Yeah. People are like, oh, he just wants people to like him. Yeah. Is that bad?

Story of my life. Yeah. Got us a stripper. just wants people to like him. Yeah. Is that bad? Story of my life. Yeah. Got us a stripper. Yeah, I'm desperado. Yeah. My God. How many ones did you bring? Can I have some?

Sure, here. No, actually, you should have to give them all out. Here, have a couple. This is going to be, like, what are we going to do? If you have to go, Julie, you can. I told her I had five minutes. Oh, sorry. I'm going to honor that.

Thank you. I thought that strippers are supposed to strip. Why is she putting her clothes on? I don't know what's happening right now. Well, she can't get naked in here because then we get canceled from YouTube. Does she need pasties? I have them. At Banana Splits Party Strippers, they were a delight to deal with,

and they got me a stripper in a pinch. You hired her? Yes. Wait, how often do you do stand-up julio should we count this as a win for us um and we we have a bad track record having stand-up comedians come on this show really yeah we had a chris di stefano really fight 500 really yeah actually yeah it wasn't Where does that stand now? Is there any updates? I don't know. Yeah, we just, we're assholes.

And we just like, we're just assholes. And we don't, we just like, once we get inside this box, we like, people walk by and we just, we don't treat them well. Not that, I think we assume they're our friends. Yeah, that too. So how often do I do Sam? A lot, like, I don't know, three our friends. Yeah, that too. Yeah. Well, so how often do I do Sam? A lot. Like, I don't know, three, four, five times a week.

Nice. You see Sass out there? I do. I saw him last night. How is he? As a matter of fact. How's he doing? Oh, he wasn't eating, was he? I didn't see him eating.

Here we go. He's doing well. Yeah, he's killing it. Dude, I was really impressed with your set at Gotham, by the way. I don't know if I told you that. Oh, yeah. That was a while ago. I know.

I know. But I'm saying like I know you're like how you haven't been doing it that long right? No. No. I could tell you like

you're a natural. Do people like sass out there? I think so. And I also think Jane doesn't. No I think that also Jane last night. I'm just

I'm fucking with you. Don't fuck with me. Okay I'm relaxed. Comedians are cloud changers dude like they just know that he's popping off so everybody's fucking

yeah sucking his dick I had Mark Norman on my podcast the other day and he brought you up funny enough he was like the kid's great

but he's gotta learn he's gotta earn his stripes I think they're intimidated by you because they see how good you're doing at such a young age so young yeah

they're saying comedians are like they're kind of proud of themselves they're kind of pissed that themselves. They're kind of pissed that he's doing so well so young. You know what we need to do? We need to stage

like a Chris Rock, Will Smith type attack. Yeah. Like someone comes and punches you in the face. All the other comedians will be like, whoa,

we got to stand up for Sass. Oh, he paid his dues. Yeah. Yeah, we need to do that. We need to beat the fuck out of you on stage. dude i think that's a good idea personally they're like yeah do pet do paying culture that's just that's that's the like everyone it's like the college loan debt argument yeah it's just but everyone has that

whether they like people can have the right intentions of being like oh i don't care about this like if you're talented you're talented but down, it feels like it's just a human feeling of like, I did this for this long. You should have to do it too. Which is stupid. You're right. Just because it was hard for you doesn't mean it has to be hard for everyone.

You're right. The loan debt. That was the best when people were self-owning themselves. I had to work like 80 hours a week and couldn't eat. It's like, okay. It's like, yeah, you're proving why this should happen. That's not normal. There's like such a weird argument on Twitter about like if like beating your kids is okay. You ever see that?

No. Like spanking. What? People are like, I got spanked and look how I turned out. Oh, yeah. And it's like, yeah, dude, you're commenting about how you got spanked on Twitter. Probably not great. My parents beat the shit out of me.

I'm fine. You know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, who are you bragging about that? It sucks, man. It sucks. It's also just like, I don't know. Who deems the ass a safe haven for beating your children? I don't know.

That's a spot you're allowed to hit? I can't imagine like a million years wanting to harm my children. Yeah. In any way. Like, what? I don't know. Let's get the wooden spoon. Yeah.

The shoe. She would hit me with a shoe. Hit you with a shoe? I got that. Or the worst was the rubber spatula on a bare ass that stung. Oh. Well. That would sting.

That's my dollar's point. Guys, it's been real. All right, Julio. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Appreciate you. Welcome to Barstool, dude. Viva.

Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Say it back. Yeah, viva. Viva. There we go. Oh, we got him now. He can't go anywhere.

Guys, I don't know what's happening. All right, thanks, bro. Nice to meet you. Anytime you're around, come on. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hey, have fun at the strip show, bro. Yeah, thank you. The what's happening. All right, thanks, bro. Nice to meet you. Anytime you're around, come on. Nice to meet you. See you. Nice to meet you. Hey, have fun at the strip show, bro.

Yeah, thank you. The lady's here. She's here. I don't know what time. I don't know what to do. Are we getting charged by the hour? No, but they were very lovely. Yeah, tell them if they want you.

It must take a while to get ready. We have burgers and stuff. I ordered- Is this live? I ordered this last minute, and so it was a last minute request. $100 worth of McDonald's is so impressive. So stupid. Yes.

I don't know why I did that. I was just really hungry. And you got Diet Coke. I'm fucking with my glory right here. Four minutes. Fuck. All right, so Kate, what? I don't know, guys.

Let's spin the wheel. Let's spin the wheel. Where'd Roan go? I've never been hard with you guys. What do you mean, left? Yes, we have. He had to go pee, and he walked out. Oh, he might be under no stripper policy, which is

totally fine. I'm not. I am. Mom. Where the hell did Roan go? He's not in for the... My mom watches the show. I can't get you in this. My mom's dead. The only thing your mom is really still adamant about is to call the strippers. You haven't been going

right. A McBoner? He wants to get wet, the stripper. Oh, yeah, should we put her on the wheel? I'm not wrong. Now we're going to have to get you soaked. Get the stripper soaked. Are we playing the wheel with the stripper? I want to see the shiny bald.

Oh, no. I don't know Oh Stu No don't actually No no no Big time no Stu will definitely ruin everything with that The company might fall apart Yeah that would be the end of us

Okay spin it Wow You deserve credit for the move you just made For this company Not letting him come in. Yeah, no, that was like a momentary... Oh, Stu would be fine. No, no, no, no.

Okay, here we go. Oh, yeah, it's over the speakers now. Oh, yeah, I was going to say, why is it so loud? Did Roan really leave? Yeah. He might have left. I don't think he left the building. He's here.

What is he doing? I don't know. Wasn't down for the stripper. Who else wants to come in then? Who do we invite in here? Should we? Security? Hey.

Is that Mally? Oh, yeah. I like that Julio guy. Yeah, he's very funny. Yeah. I come way more than Francis. Oh, yeah. Dude, that Taliban story was fucking...

Crazy. I know. So watch that video. I felt like a little bitch listening to it. I was like, so you were outside the wire for real? For real? Yeah. Holy shit.

Damn. Where's the stripper? I don't know. I'm sorry. Did she go to the bathroom? Do you think she saw the room and was like, fuck this? Yeah, she's like, wait, I'm not doing this. Do they know they're going on a live show?

Maybe her pH is off. Could be. That didn't stop me from being here. Better not say. Does she know going on a live show? Maybe her pH is off. Could be. That didn't stop me from being here. Better not say. Does she know it's a live show? I think so, which I say she's making us wait. That must mean top dollar stuff, right? Is that the way that goes?

Maybe she's just trying to get hard. This does happen, though. She knows live for privacy reasons and stuff. Yeah. Let me see if Ebony can go check. Why doesn't Ebony just strip then? This does happen. Like if you get strippers to like a bachelor party,

they do go in the bathroom for a while. Are they doing coke? Do they really? No, I don't think so. I think they're just prepping. Cheesed up? Kind of getting the. Getting in the groove.

In the anticipation. Didn't they get nervous? I would. And for this setting, I'd be a little nervous. Probably like. Didn't they get nervous? I would. And for this setting, I'd be a little nervous. Probably like, what the fuck is this? I went on a buddy's bachelor party

and we got strippers last second and we, let's just say it wasn't, maybe the fact that we ordered them like right before didn't help in terms of quality and they came and it was, it was like Pomona

Pomona and Pumba Pomona and Pumba it was like one stripper was like six feet 300 and the other was like 5'2 105 it was very funny they were great they were great

they were very nice yes they were very nice she's going to 100% think that Kate's a lesbian. Oh, 100. I mean, look at me. Look at me. Why do you think Pat had me on Out and About before you came here? I know. That was his thought.

I had once in college, I passed out. Want some McDonald's? Yeah, can you come hang out for a second, Pete? Want some fries? You want to sit down and hang out? We have a celebrity from The Bachelor coming. Come on in. Actually, it would be good if you were here because you can't come, so there's no way.

What? I got nothing. It's just a McDonald's party. Yeah, come on in. Come on in. We're having a McDonald's party. We got one at our rugby house when I was in college, and we lived right across the street from the county jail, which was small. It was just the size of like a big house almost and so the stripper we had dress up like

an escaped convict and he busted it he was like I just got out of the whatever and we're like oh no that's awesome yeah and then he helicoptered his dick we had like one of our bigger day drinks is golf party passed out after that and I woke up from a nap in my bed and went to the bathroom, and there was like 75 guys in my living room and three strippers in the middle. Just anal ring toss, whole nine yards. Oh, God. I had been awake for 45 seconds. And that was what you walked out to her.

It was so confusing. I didn't think it was real, but it was. Did you go to the bathroom over there? Oh, I think Ebony took her to the green room. Now, I have to pee. I feel like, guys, I'm so... I feel like I'm the most awkward human being on the planet. I didn't think it through.

It seemed like a fun idea this morning. Have you ever done a diaper wheel where they have to sit and pee themselves? Oh, man. Oh, Jay peed himself. Who did? Jay. Uh-oh. Oh, Stu.

Hi, Stu. You want some McDonald's? I got McDonald's for everyone. No, it's disgusting. Jerry Diaz, his friend. Can you talk in the's? I got McDonald's for everyone. No, it's disgusting. Joey Diaz is his friend. Can you talk in the mic? We're live on a show. Yeah.

Oh, you're in Balls season two as well. Joey Diaz. Hi, everyone. Hi, Uncle Stu. What show am I on right now? The Yak. The Yak. It's an honor to be on the Yak.

It's a Yak. Okay, so this is a life. Oh, shit. Oh, God damn it. It's life. Oh, God damn it. It's happening. Oh, God damn it. Oh, no. This is the worst thing.

Now it's actually the worst thing. This is the worst thing. Buckle up, Stu. Buckle up, Stu. Hey. Yay. Hey, how you doing? Hey, girl.

How's it going? Hello. Yoo-hoo. You're welcome to have a seat too if you'd like. Do you want some McDonald's? Go ahead. You can just sit. You don't have to strip.

You can just hang out. You know me? You are. I'm not. What's up, brother? Hi. How we doing? Hi.

I'm Majestic. Majestic. Majestic. So this is Laughing Gas. This is Laughing Gas. Joey Diaz's strain of marijuana, which is as great as any I've ever had. Not only does it annihilate you. We're about to be kicked off YouTube.

You feel up. You're up. All right. Yeah. All right. All right. Okay. So that's yours.

Okay. All right. I love you. God bless you. May God be with you. Okay. All right. Before you poison your body with whatever I'm looking at.

Hey, listen. You're not a fucking model of health, Stu. What the fuck? You eat like 7,000 calories a day. Oh, no. Alright, well, here's the stripper. And here's the stripper. Majestic, this was not planned. Do you have a six pack? How do you have a six pack? How do you have abs?

How do you have fucking abs, Stu? What is going on? Why do you have abs? How do you have abs? How do you have abs? Because I'm an animal. I worked out with Steve Mahalik. I'll kick your fucking ass. Yeah, Julio's looking in now.

He's like, now Stu's got his shirt off. Okay. I just want to be majestic. How's it going? It's going good. How are you? We're great. Yeah.

So, Kate. That's me. Hello hello make it away kate okay so i thought it would be fun because we're doing a thing here a merch selling contest and i thought it would be fun to do something extra special to help me promote mine uh so i was wondering if you wouldn't mind dancing while i hold up my signs i I don't know. Oh, yeah. No problem. Before we do, do you have an Instagram? Do you have like for any of our people who are watching right now? Anybody, anything you want to say, anything you want to put on the Insta for people to follow you?

Promote yourself. Well, I do want to promote Banana Split Party strippers because that's the whole reason why I'm here. You know, so that would have been that would have been really funny if you're like, I'm really here to promote like Ukraine

and what they're doing. No, Banana Split. OK, they had a split party strippers. So if you guys ever need any strippers,

you know who to call. They're in a bunch of states around here, too, and they helped me out very quickly today. So big thanks to them. Shut up, Banana Split. I know.

Trippers. Yes. Do you have an Instagram or anything if you want people to follow you? You don't have to say it. Yeah, I'm very private. Okay. Awesome. No worries.

Jessica, you smell wonderful. I know. This is the first time the room has ever smelled good. Yeah. So huge thank you to you. Want french fries? No, thank you. Want to eat McDonald's? No. You sure? All right. Okay. Cool. Cool thank you. Want french fries? No, thank you. Want any McDonald's?

No. You sure? Alright, okay, cool. Cool, cool. TJ hit it, I guess. Okay. So only Kate is the one who wants a lap dance. She's a bull dyke.

Alright. Sounds by far the craziest thing. Oh, yep. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Merchapalooza. Kate.

May I? Oh, yeah. Okay. Now I actually like this. Okay. Yeah. Get on, Kate. Let's get.

Oh, yep. Kate, this is actually. This is kind of hot. I'm actually not going to lie. This is kind of hot. This is actually really hot. Keep it on the. TJ, keep is actually, this is kind of hot. I'm actually not going to lie. This is kind of hot. This is actually really hot. Keep it on the, TJ, keep it on, Kate. Yes.

Yes. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Promo code Kate, 10% off. What is this show yes jessica do you do pilates she's very limber very limber have some of that, Kate. Yes. 10% off code, Kate. Sass is just furiously texting.

You're not even texting anyone. No, I am. I am. Where the fuck did Roan go? I don't know. Sass is scrolling through the weather app. Joey, what do you think? Oh, yes.

I'm learning some dance moves from her. I'm very excited. Are those from Lake Avenue? I got those. Yeah. What? Yeah, Sass, why don't you get Majestic, maybe a little on Sass? No, no, no. Just a little bit on Sass. Come on in.

Come on in, Trish. Free McDonald's and a stripper. If you want McDonald's. Majestic. I bought $200 at McDonald's and got a stripper. Trish, this is Majestic, and that's your pin. Here we go, Sass. Sass, move the mic.

Be a man. Be a fucking respectful man. Stunning. Everyone has you up on their screens out there. You look absolutely phenomenal. And this is a promo Kate's merch? Yes, promo code Kate. Strippers and McDonald's.

This is like my wet dream. Yes, have some McDonald's. Sass. Yes, man. Oh! Sassie. There you go. Majestic.

Calisthenics. Majestic in the house. Majestic. Majestic in the house. Majestic. Sass, is anything happening below the belt there? Feel any vibrations? I've been trying to write a text for like 10 minutes. Sass, pay some attention to Majestic. I think I have some money at my desk. I'll be right back.

Yeah, Gesty. To Joey. Oh. This is... Remember? Code Kate. Code Kate. Yeah. This is... Code Kate. Code Kate. Yeah. Your merch will be majestic,

they're saying. Your merch will be majestic. Yeah. Majestic. It does smell fabulous. It does smell really good. I know. People keep walking by.

It's really a body mess. Oh, my God. Oh. She's touching her vagina. That's smooth. Not a razor bump in the sight. She lasers. I love this.

This is brought to you by Roback. No. Don't, don't, don't. I'm mad at Roan. He's missing a great show. Here comes Trish. I'm the most awkward human alive, but this is... You're fabulous because I'm the most awkward human alive,

and I'm, like, totally chill with this. This is a delight. Banana split strippers. Shut up, banana split. Majestic to the center stage. You don't have to pay for the McDonald's. Danny already paid for it. Yeah, no, no.

This $5 bill actually comes from a certain Glennie Balls. Oh! I want to hand that over. Yes! Hell yeah. Glennie Balls himself. Yes, thank you. Don't mind if I do.

That's your majestic. Excuse me. It's way more awkward when you turn off the music. Yeah, the music. Good ones. Thank you. Is this royalty-free music? Yes, it is royalty-free music.

Sass, are you ready for your lap dance? No, I'm all set. Come on, Sass. Sass. Come on. I'm good, thank you. Majestic, I have a $100 bill on my desk if you give him a lap dance. No, I'm all set.

Yeah! Thank you, Majestic. I'm all set. Come on, Seth. I don't want one. I'll go get it. I'll go get the $100. Ricky Majestic. Trish?

Welcome back to the Yak. We're your hosts, Trish and Nana. How did this happen? It's just the two gay guys on the Yak and Kenny. And the butch lesbian. And the butch lesbian. Here comes live event Larry. Here comes live event Larry. Here comes live event Larry.

Normally known as live event Lisa. I had to clarify when you said butch. I'm like, they're talking about me, not you. Um, thank you. Oh, here it comes.

Majestic. Here we come. Where'd he go? He ran. He ran out. Ran. Still. That's for you, sweetie.

Oh my God. Oh. Was he the most uncomfortable out of all the boys? I was so excited I saw it, I ran in here from the other room I was so excited I have a stripper friend named Heaven, do you know her? No

She's from upstate This is my second stripper experience You're beautiful by the way Thank you Has a gentleman ever told you about your makeup and hair When you were running stick? I'm sorry When you were dancing on a guy, has he ever complimented your hair Has a gentleman ever told you about your makeup and hair When you were running stick I'm sorry When you were like dancing on a guy Has he ever complimented your hair and makeup before

Not specifically like my makeup The gay ones would Anastasia Beverly Hills in your brows Yup That's a dip brow That's a dip brow That's the first thing I noticed was the beat I'm not talking about the music the first thing i noticed was the beat i'm not

talking about the music she beat the beat up on the beat oh yeah or not you look fantastic i can't believe sass ran i wouldn't just paid 100 bucks for that lap dance um exceeded my expert i didn't know what to expect because this was so last minute everybody majestic if you make if you make the um what's the top tier prize two thousand dollars will you be sharing it will you be sharing with majestic the winnings yeah the winnings a hundred percent if i make it to number one the Jake, what's the top tier prize? $2,000? Will you be sharing with Majestic? The winnings? Yeah, the winnings. A hundred percent. If I make it to number one on the merch thing,

we will, you know what? We'll split it. Half goes to the merch, half goes to you. Wow. I'm going to hold you to it. You have to come back in. You have to come back in and accept it. Okay.

All right. You're already up to number five, Kate. I'm moving up the ranks to number five. Come on, guys. Come on. Let's go, to number five, Kate. I'm moving up the ranks to number five. Come on, guys. Come on. Let's go, Kate. This is the real leader. Oh.

Use promo code Kate. I'm going to tweet it, Kate. I got you. Thank you. Come on, guys. Switch my allegiance. I'll read Majestic. That was great.

Thank you. Thank you, everyone. This is... Barstool Sports. Yeah. Where do you typically work out of Majestic? I work at Banana Split Entertainment.

Yeah. So that's the only place you'll find. Do they have male entertainers as well? I'm sorry? They have male entertainers there as well? They do. That's the opposite side. What is that one called?

It's still under Banana Split Entertainment. That's where the bananas actually are. Yeah. There's the splits and the bananas. And you do the splits. Now I get it. Yeah. That's why it's Banana Split. Yeah, yeah, yeah actually are. Yeah. There's the splits and the bananas. You do the splits. Now I get it. Yeah. That's why I said it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. She's an intellectual queen. Do you dance at clubs at all or you just do? No. Actually, I didn't come from like clubs or anything. I was a regular girl just working as a manager at McDonald's. Did you bring this?

Oh. Guys, no. No. War flashbacks. I retired that long ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I was found there. And ever since, it's just been an amazing

financial opportunity for me. Hell yeah. What a real success story. It's completely changed my life. A real life success story. Yeah, I love it. Let's get this promo code going. Yeah, we're getting it out there.

Even more. Hey, you gotta win. it. Let's get this promo code going. Yeah, we're getting it out there. Even more. Hey, you got to win. Not just, now the pressure's on not just for you. It's for you and Majestic. I know. I think everyone should support Kate's, it's just barstoolsports.com. Store it up, barstoolsports.com slash Kate, and that's the discount code. Oh, you got to put in the promo code Kate.

You got to put it in. You have my word. You have to come back, and I don't, you can come back in sweats if you want, and just hang out and eat fries with us. But you've got to come back, and you can come back in sweats if you want and just hang out and eat fries with us. But you've got to come back, but I will split the winnings with you. And then the rest goes to the Axlush Fund. Okay? I won't keep a dime of it.

Love it. Okay? And Kate is actually spelled J-O-E-Y. Yes. It's actually – Right. Go in there and get the promo code going. Oh, man.

Okay. Good job, Kate. Virtuapalooza, everyone. Thank you so much, Majestic. Thank you. And I'm going to follow them so I can make sure they get paid. You got to spend money and make it. Yeah, we'll end the

act here. We'll see everyone tomorrow. What a show. What a show. Maybe we should fast more often. Yeah. Holy shit. What a show. Can we go out with a dance party yeah play some music

on the way out let's do it burgers and lap dances that could be definitely a thing that would actually be a good restaurant I wish

burgers and lap dances should be a song last Caroline alright we'll play everyone out we'll see everyone tomorrow alright bye everyone looks probably

playing over. Thank you. It's the act. When is she coming in? Is she about to come in now? When is she coming in? Is she about to come in now? When is she coming in? Is she about to come in right now? What's her deal? She's still about to come in? Disgusting. Disgusting behavior.

What do you mean? Is she bailing? No, she was here. What? That was's great i missed it big cat uh big cat went to go get 100 bucks for her to give sass a lap dance that was all-time moment oh dude i was rushing back i can't believe i missed it that's that's tough man i would have loved to see that. Well, see you next time on the Yak, I guess. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees love. It's the act. It's the act.