The Yak - Kate's Forming an Army of Falcon Assassins | The Yak 1-9-23

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

Gimme dat ballYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hey. That's the first time I've seen that opening. And? Oh, hey. It stopped super abruptly. Really?

Yeah, it was time crunch. At old office. Nobody's here? Yeah, nobody's going to do a million dollars worth of games. Okay. That makes sense. Nobody's here. Okay. That makes sense. Hey, everyone. What's up, brother? Good to see everyone.

What was that noise? That was a big sigh because you're here. I'm sorry about that. It's good that you're here. Why is the chat on? How often are there good sighs, though? Good sighs? Like six and a half? Sigh?

Well, a sigh can't really... Is not really good. Post nut? I think a sigh is always good. I think a sigh is one of the healthiest things you can do. Yeah, okay. All right. That is a good sigh.

Yeah. Good sighs. I don't think a woman really wants to hear a post nut sigh, but who cares? Angelo? He was shit. Which one of the Ninja Turtles had size as his weapon? I'm going to tweet this out. That was Michael Angelo, right?

Or was it Raphael? Raphael was by far the best if you don't agree you're a loser. I disagree vehemently. He was moody. Thank you. Exactly what I just said. I said Raphael's the best, and if you disagree you're a loser, and then you disagree. Donatello was better.

Loser says what? Rafael. Loser says what? What? He was moody. Donatello was the dork. He was the smartest one. That's not dorky.

It's not dorky to be smart. Okay, here's how you decide it. Rafael definitely fucked April. Why do you keep saying that? Michelangelo maybe got a blowjob. That's it. Donatello was closeted. Yep.

Fact. Fact. Thank you, Ro it. Donatello was closeted. Yep. Fact. Fact. Which is. Thank you, Roan. Aren't all turtles closeted? Are you a Raphael guy? I was a Leonardo. Okay.

See, but that's. They all had traits except for him, and he was just the leader. He didn't even have any traits. He was the funny guy. He liked pizza. That's not a trait. They all had that trait. They've kind of ripped them off, huh?

Who? Portnoy? Ripped who off? The Turtles. The Turtles? Just being like, I like pizza? Oh, yeah. They were the original pizza guys.

Oh, yeah. It was the Ninja Turtles, Jennifer Lawrence, Dave Portnoy. That's the natural progression of pizza. Pizza files. I didn't know Jennifer Lawrence loved pizza. Are you kidding me? I barely know who she is. Just type in progression of pizza. Pizza files. I didn't know Jennifer Lawrence loved pizza. Are you kidding me? I barely know who she is. Just type in Jennifer Lawrence pizza.

You'll get 50 million. DJ, pull that up. Can we see the turtles? Can we see the turtles and their attributes? I don't even think it's up for discussion. Mike and Langellos is the funny one, right? He's the party dude. Yeah.

Raph is the moody one. Oh, he's cool but rude. Cool but rude. Ruding. Cool but rude. Ruding. Cool but rude. That's not a... That means a ball buster. He's not a ball buster. He takes it too seriously. He's always the one that goes off by himself and gets lost. His voice also sucks.

It's very raspy and annoying. Raphael's? Yes. Wait, but don't they have different voices in different iterations? Or are you just talking about the cartoon? The cartoon. Okay, okay. He's also based on the worst historical figure. Who? Who's that? I don't know.

I just thought. Leonardo? I knew who Michelangelo and Leonardo were. I don't know the other two. I think they're all artists. Who's Raphael in real life? Oh, here we go. Who's Donald Trump?

My parents were deciding between naming me Dan or Raphael. I wish I was Rapha. You should change that now. Yeah. So the one guy is just the leader. Okay. So right away. Yeah.

What is this? That's Hebrew. What are the letters at the top? All right. Hold on. All right. So the leader organized. You can't read that from here.

Yeah, I can. Hold on. I have great eyesight. Let me read it. All right. Organized. Want what is best for others. A child made this in school. on values and and visions this is an adult leonardo's an adult very impressive that you can read that

okay uh rafael raps read raps i'm a bold insensitive these is why i like them rational and practical impatient original risk person, risk person, perception, unstructured, direct, will most likely miss the bigger picture, sociable, defiant, hot-headed, naturally social. I can't read. Seizes the moment. Okay, those are conflicting ideals. It says he's practical, and then it says he risks missing the bigger picture. So if he's practical, I feel like he would see the bigger picture.

And what are the other two? Donatello's a smart one. Michelangelo maybe got a blowjob from Donatello's responsible, organized, driven to create and forces. This is just a Gary Vee Instagram. And then Michelangelo's people-centered, focus on possibilities. Good guy. Enthusiastic, energetic, warm, passionate, help others.

You don't help others. I help others all the time. We need to jail whoever made this graphic. It's the hardest thing to read. That shit was fucking... Took my love for the Ninja Turtles away. Have you heard of the Ninja Turtles?

Should we talk about Paw Patrol's little Sasquatch? I actually really never got into the Ninja Turtles away. Have you heard of the Ninja Turtles? Should we talk about Paw Patrol's little Sasquatch? I actually really never got into the Ninja Turtles at all. You missed it. It was a 90's kid thing. But they came back for multiple animated movies. It's true. I've seen some of the movies. Remember Bebop and Rocksteady?

Those are good hints. Krang was a badass. Just a brain with a I guess he was just a brain with a body. Itang. Krang was a badass. Just a brain with a... Yeah. I guess he was just a brain with a body. It was a brain on a crotch, yeah. Everyone's brain. Yeah.

Shredder was Asian, right? Under it all? Was he? I think so. Same with Ying Ying Zhang. Oh, here we go. He was kidnapped and murdered. What?

In Urbana. Ying Ying Zhang? Is that a... It's a Chinese. I thought they were New York-based. Are they Illinois-based? I thought it was Chicago. What?

The Turtles are New Yorkers? He's talking about Ying Ying Zhang. She was... They're definitely New Yorkers. Oh, that's just a totally different thing. An international student at the University of Illinois. It was murder. It was murder.

Thank you. This isn't like the original four-year-old that you made up that got swept away in a river, right? That's my friend, yeah. Okay. So you missed it last week. Not only did we fart a lot, but Kyle is just deep, deep. Brandon, I'm obsessed, dude. You know when I get an interest, I go, it's 100% or nothing.

Murder mysteries. Murder mysteries, okay. I've watched so many, and people keep sending me recommendations, keep them coming. I'm watching them all. Dominating your weekends and stuff, too. He's true crime now. He's just a walking NPR podcast. Yes.

Have you guys watched the ones that KB's talking about? I haven't had a chance. They are. Also, I don't want to do that with my free time. I never want to watch that stuff. Roan did it the real way. That was a nice way of me saying I didn't have the chance. That's not how I want to do it.

You're not curious, though? Don't watch them. Oh. Say no. I like, like, the true crime stuff. This is, like, next level children being, like, I

didn't know I killed that person. Yes. Wait, children killed someone? It's all, like, I mean, it's a lot of... Late teens?

A lot of, yeah. And they're all, it's just them breaking down in, like, interrogation rooms for, like, four hours. That's what I like the most is in interrogation rooms for four hours. That's what I like the most is the interrogation. I think it's insane to watch.

It's fascinating footage. So you think that Tay-K should have gotten that full sentence? I haven't delved into the rapper ones yet. Tay-K was complaining that he got a lengthy sentence because he said his frontal lobe wasn't fully formed. And he said that anybody else would have gotten a shorter sentence. Correct me if I'm wrong. People think pleading insanity is a loophole.

If you plead insanity, don't you get admitted to an institution that's probably worse than jail or prison? Yeah, it's not like a cushy mental hospital. It's not like Malibu rehab facility. It's not like you're free. You're shackled in a padded room with the craziest people. It's probably been used as a loophole before, though. But you still have to be institutionalized.

Yeah, but I think that's open-ended, though. I don't think that's – you're not sentenced like 40 years of it. Okay. Sir, he was insane. Let my client free. No, I think you are. I think you still get a loan. That's more of a reason to be off.

You can't be off on the streets if you're insane and a murderer. That's a double whammy. Or like pretending to be insane in the interrogation. Yeah, that's what Nicholas Cruz did. Or Norton did it. And they show the real people who are actually psychopaths. That's who you got to psychopaths they just emotionlessly admit to it

did you ever see did you ever watch Primal Fear no you would like that movie a lot I won't say anymore watch it tonight Primal Fear

you can say a little bit more where Norton who else is it Richard Gere probably is it Richard Gere if you guys were sentenced to

time in a maximum security prison like several years what would you do your first 48 hours what was your plan of attack cry your plan of attack fucked yeah like how what would you do i'd clean all the tables to prove that i'm like a valuable part of the society of the jail ecosystem people be like oh he takes responsibility and he cleans up after himself he's not going to be a problem i have an old kfc hypothetical that we did i don't know maybe a decade ago where i was like i'd be fine in jail because my lips are so luscious i just kiss dudes and they wouldn't want because

like on their penis to complete everyone wants to fuck but like people just want to kiss sometimes too i just be the designated kisser cuddler yeah right just come kiss me smooch me up cuddle you can go get you you can go fuck someone else. Smooch me. Yeah, but I feel like that would lead to trouble because somebody would claim you as their smoocher and then there would be fights over you. Why are they so wet? They are wet.

Your beard grew back so fast. That's called being a man, Sass. That's crazy. Someday you'll get there. High T. Little boy. You shaved that like a week ago. Yeah. Jeez. Jesus Christ'll get there. High T. Little boy. You shaved that like a week ago. Yeah.

Jeez. Jeez. Astronomically high T. It's got to be what it is. Dermaroller? Goatee week is very soon. Yeah. Oh.

You got to do that. I think I might be out. KBI squatted today, so I got high T. Do you feel better? Yeah. What kind of squatting? How many reps? Not a lot.

Front squat? I'm getting back into it. How much weight? You got to answer one of those. It was 50-pound dumbbells. Two 50-pound dumbbells in each hand? Yeah. And you squatted?

Yeah. Really? Eight reps. That's pretty good. That's hard. Four times. I'm That's pretty good. That's hard. I'm trying to get back. It's been a long time. I feel good.

I went to the gym yesterday. There we go. Yeah. I like it. You're going to be Aki as hell. Aki. One day I'd like to have an office gym. Sounds like we might.

You guys actually feel, like you noticeably feel good after you go to the gym? Yes. No. Someone said that I feel terrible, and someone said it's because I take pre-workout. So I didn't take pre-workout, and I went yesterday, and I felt terrible still. It takes like an hour for me to regain.

What's your terribleness? Just being tired or lightheaded or what? So tired and like jittery. I always feel better after I work out and i know that feeling is out there for me to get but i can't muster up the courage or muster up the energy to go get it that's me okay then chay were you sore this weekend oh yeah like oh yeah i forgot to ask um a little bit honestly not that bad it was probably more in the legs from the squatting because i don't do that but uh you're a beast though are you anti-squat just glomer muscles were you aroused

when you got home on friday was there a heightened sense of oh your wife was out of town so did you have some productive showers uh don't tell me you didn't masturbate after that? I did not. What? You just got that bottled up? I didn't say that. Oh! Whenever we ask these questions, we go too far. Yeah. I think it's just Jay's answers are always too far. I don't think we want to know

some of the stuff we're asking. Brandon, what did you think about Ben Mintz, the athlete? Speed demon? Yeah, we had Monica on the show on Friday. Did you see the mini Ben Mintz I found? Yeah. Can you post a picture of that? That was awesome.

Just create him. Junior Mintz. Did he know going in, or did you have to break the news to him? He didn't know who he was. None of the Ole Miss managers. I said, you look like Ben Mintz, and the other managers laughed, and he didn't know who he was. None of the Ole Miss managers. I said, you look like Ben Mintz, and the other managers laughed, and he didn't know who he was. But he looks exactly like him.

It was striking, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's just Ben Mintz. It's just him. Add some poker, maybe some cocaine years, and you got Ben Mintz. Yeah. That's the better. He can fit, too.

Yeah. Yeah, he's a good kid, though. Nice guy. Did you shoot any half-court shots when you were there? Ah. Is there a video of that? Ah. Did we send it on to TJ?

Yeah. Well, I don't have the raw video from Mississippi State, so I took three shots, and I hit the rim. We'll take the un-raw. I hit the rim. We'll take the un-raw. Can you send that to TJ, please? Cop and state shit.

Go ahead. The way that you were carrying yourself down there makes me feel like you're fixing to run for mayor or some shit. I didn't want to leave yesterday, man. I didn't want to come back. Directing the band and how you're walking around. Well, the band asked me to come direct the band, and you can see I don't know how to direct a band.

He just said move your hand up and down. But it was a good time. It was a very good time. What's the chant? It's easy. We just beat the hell out of you. Maroon, white, fight, fight, fight. Mississippi State, whoo. They didn't make that simple for you guys. Fight, fight, fight. Mississippi State. Woo!

Howdy, howdy, howdy. Damn right. I didn't make that simple for you guys. Yeah, that was very easy. I don't know why you couldn't get that. I thought you were saying pizza. I, oh, that Pizza Hut was so delicious the other day. Duh.

Pizza Hut. I loved it so much. Did you take Katie with you? She went with me. Do you have video? Yeah, I'll get it. I'll get it sent to TJ. Look, I mean, that's just a good looking guy in front of a

pizza hut. And you're wearing my favorite shoes? No, you don't have these shoes. Let's see if you go to Air Force Ones. I do have those shoes. No, look, I switched to Air Maxes. Nice. I'm tired of high tops. I made that decision over the weekend. I'm tired of high tops.

Cat's not wearing high tops anymore either. No, that's not. He's got Monarchs on. I haven't been wearing high tops for I made that decision over the weekend. I'm tired of high tops. Cat's not wearing high tops anymore either. No, that's not. He's got Monarchs on. I haven't been wearing high tops for like three months. Stop wearing them. It's not the Jordans I'm tired of. I'm tired of the blazers. The high tops. And I wear the blazers a lot. And you don't wear blazers and you know that.

No, I know. I wear a lot of blazers. And I'm just, my ankles need to breathe. So I had to go to Air Max. Send the video. Send the video. Fine, fine. I want to see you missing half-court shots. Let's hit the High Noon read first.

Hit the High Noon read. You got it, brother. Hey, High Noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka and not with malt like the other hard seltzers. And that's something that everybody agrees on. You find out something's made with malt and not with malt like the other hard seltzers. And that's something that everybody agrees on. You find out something's made with malt and it disgusts you viscerally. You feel it all over your body. But those aren't feelings that are associated with high noon.

Because that's real vodka and real juice for real fans just like us. Head over to your local liquor store and get some today. I was drinking high noons but two days ago to be honest with you if i had to come clean about something in my personal life i was just drinking high noons on saturday what flavor i was having um you know i i kind of left it up to the bartender because the flavors are all good yes walk into the bar and you say just give me a high noon, whatever's closest to your hand at the time.

Also fun to say surprise me. Yeah, even though bartenders... I'm sure they don't like that. Oh, they hate it when you say it. They hate it. They have to hate it. It's fun to say it. It's fun to decide.

Head over to your local liquor store and get some high noons today. I do hate it. I saw a TikTok just the other day about how bartenders hate being told surprise me. I like the peach. Yeah, there you go. Bartender will like that.

It's the more annoying version of when you're with your significant other or friend or whatever. Like, what do you want for dinner? Oh, I don't care. But in the back of your head, you definitely want something. You just don't want to be the guy who says, yeah, who's like Chinese. Like, I don't want Chinese. Nate, I feel like you're a big I don't care. Absolutely.

You're saying exactly how we decide every meal. I always am like, you pick, and then he'll list, and he has to go through like six different things. So I'm like, okay, that's fine. Why is that, though? Why do people do that? Because I don't know what I want, and I think I need to hear a list, but I don't even feel like coming up with a list. If you hear one of the options that you know you want, do you say, I do that? Because I don't know what I want, and I think I need to hear a list, but I don't even feel like coming up with a list.

If you hear one of the options that you know you want, do you say, I want that? Yes. Okay. Yes. But normally it takes a minute to get there. I'm craving meatballs, dude. I haven't had a meatball in a minute, and I've been craving them. So you ask me for the next, until I get meatballs, I'm going to want meatballs.

Your tweet over the weekend had me looking for a turkey hoagie. As soon as you tweeted it, I was like, oh, man. And I couldn't find one either. You know what I mean, though? I couldn't find the basic, yes. I feel like in New York, there's not great turkey sandwiches. I feel like there's a couple places that have pretty good sandwiches, like Anthony and Son's Paninis or Pasillo's over here,

but I don't think that there's just a regular old good-ass eight-inch turkey sub or hoagie. What makes a good turkey hoagie? I never eat turkey sandwiches. Really? Never. You talking about the cold-cut turkey? Cold-cut turkey, but not like a slimed-up. The duck points for slimed-up turkey.

Oh, slime is the worst. The duck points for bad bread. The duck points for shitty fucking ripped-up lettuce. The duck points for tomatoes that are just like peeling out on fucking discolored white tomatoes. You just want a fresh turkey sandwich. I want fresh, good ingredients. I mean, New York is famous for their bagels. And the reason that the bagels are good is because the water is good.

So shouldn't that good water also make for great hoagie bread? And I feel like you're either getting hoagie bread that's a really hard like a semolina roll or something that's super soft like a kaiser roll and i need an in-between yeah give me an apricot jam cut this shit with the brie cheese are we done with that yet yeah we're done we're done done right all right that whole phase harriet thank you brie get out of Yep, yep. They like smush it and it becomes ruined right away. I've been riding on this hot honey cream cheese from Black Seed Bagel. That's a play. That's a play.

Hot honey cream cheese. Is it spicy or it's temperature hot? It's not spicy, yeah. Hot honey? Hot honey. I like hot honey as like a drizzle on a pizza. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, yes. Spicy pepperoni and hot honey as like a drizzle on a pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Hot honey. Icy pepperoni and hot honey. Yes, that's a fantastic. A lot of people put hot honey on Brussels sprouts, right? It's a great way to do it. One of my favorite turkey sandwiches in the city used to be a turkey sandwich with green apple slices in it and honey mustard.

Very delicious. Interesting. That doesn't sound like what I'm looking for, but I would try that. I would not try that. Green apple slices? It's a little crunch. I don't want like what I'm looking for, but I would try that. I would not try that. Green apple slices? I don't want green apple slices on my sandwich. No, I don't like when there's a crunch that's not spicy. Well, no, you put potato chips in it.

Oh, but I like that. And I think that's what they're trying to say. Have you ever eaten a salad? Potato chips should be a default at some fast food places. Yes. On the sandwich? The side or on the sandwich? Potato chips in a sandwich are the best cheat in the world.

On the sandwich? The side or on the sandwich? Potato chips and a sandwich are the best cheat in the world. On the sandwich. Come on. See, my go-to sandwich is cold cuts, turkey, wheat bread, potato chips, hot sauce. Yeah, wheat bread is your go-to? Yeah. That's beta. What do you guys have, white bread? Oh, yeah.

I like a nice sub roll or at home. Kaiser roll. Kaiser roll. Yeah, dude, treat yourself. Treat yourself. I like a nice mayonnaise. At home? Kaiser roll. Yeah, dude, treat yourself. Treat yourself. I like a nice mayonnaise. Not to be too white. I love mayonnaise.

Don't be ashamed of mayonnaise. I love a mayonnaise. Love a mayonnaise. Creamy ass mayonnaise. Jiggly ass. Did you try those mayonnaise chips Vibs had people eating? I didn't like them. They were great.

Oh, I thought they were so good. Didn't love them. Mayonnaise. Do we have that video? You like hot sauce Oh, I thought they were so good. Didn't love them. Mayonnaise. Do we have that video? You like hot sauce, too? I do. Have you done 23andMe? You might be black, brother.

Oh, here we go. Brandon Walker. Yeah. Damn. They took the lights down for me. Made a big deal. Were you nervous? You like a legend there?

I was very nervous. Yeah, people were... See there? Look at that nervous. Yeah, people were, let's see there. Look at that. Clean dap. Nice. All right. It's like a small arena. It does.

It's 10,500 people. It's a big arena. Don't run for politics, Brandon, please. I think this video will make it so he can never run. I hope so. Okay. All right. Here we go.

Getting ready. All right. Yep. That hoop. Yep. That one right there. A little stretch. You got to do a little showmanship first.

Get them on your side. Let's go. Oh, no. Too much. That's not too much. Oh, you better hit it after all that. Well, now. Let's see if you hit it.

And close. Pretty close. That was acceptable. Oh, you got multiple shots. I got three shots, yes. Why'd you get three shots? Usually you only get one. They always get three shots. All right, this one's cash. The first one was. Oh, you got multiple shots. I got three shots, yes. Why'd you get three shots? Usually you only get one. They always get three shots.

All right, this one's cash. The first one was the ball. All right, well, now you've got your aim set. Yeah. So you know exactly where you're shooting. Yeah, I got it now. This one I know for a fact is cash if I know Brandon Walker. Nailed it.

Cash. Uh-huh. Oh. Even worse. That's bad. They boo you? They did not boo Oh. Even worse. That's bad. They boo you? They did not boo me. That sucks.

I would have liked them to boo you. Yeah. I still gave them a little. I'll be heeding as I walked off. Did they not boo down there or what? It would have been so awesome if I made one of those shots and I could have put out the video. Most electric thing. It would have been awesome.

I did not. I failed. You don't even have broken shoulders like Dave. You have no excuse. I hit the rim. For being that bad. I hit the rim the first time. We watched Dave's video again.

That's really the funniest video ever. That was nuts. And that was at like an NBA game, right? Yeah. Magic, yeah. That's way worse. Way, way worse. He shouldn't have did it.

He should have just known that he just should have. Yeah. What if they let you just take a free throw? What if you're like, I just want to go from the free throw line? Oh, no. Oh, no. Jumping off two feet, I feel like, hurts him. Oh, man.

Did he get a second shot? He did get a second shot. I think this one might be worse. Oh. Holy shit. Oh, man. Did he get a second shot? He did get a second shot. I think this one might be worse. Oh. Holy shit. Holy shit. It's so far short. I feel way better now.

I don't even know if that would have reached the rim from the three-point line. That was half a court shot. Yes. Quarter-court shot. This is a little moment. You just gotta step up and be court shot. Yes. Quarter court shot. I don't know. This is a little moment. You just got to step up and be a legend.

Yeah. I had my chance. I didn't. Like Bosco. Bosco hit his shot. Yeah, but he missed like three. You missed three. You think you would have made that fourth?

The fourth one was the one I was going to make. The fourth one was a lock. Yeah. Yeah. I missed to the right, to the left. The next one was dead center. Yeah, you had it figured out the right, to the left. The next one was dead center. Yeah, you had it figured out. Mississippi State had it figured out because they weren't going to give me anything.

They were just letting me do it. I didn't win anything. Yeah, because you didn't make the shot. Yeah, but no. I said, what do I win? They said, nothing. We were just doing it. What were you thinking?

They were going to say like $700,000. No, maybe give me something I can give to the crowd or something. A new car? Give me $500. I can go get somebody a check for $500. Wouldn't that have been nice? No, we didn't do that. It doesn't matter because you missed them.

It did matter. It would have been worse if it wasn't. I'm a big money player. If I knew money was on the line, I would have won. Did you go to your smoking lounge? I did. Nice. How was it?

It was delightful. It was great. You know who hangs out there? Ian Rafferford. Really? Every time he goes, he takes a picture in there and sends it to me. When was he there? He usually goes after the season.

Got it. He'll go down there because he married a girl from my hometown. It's a woman. Huh? Well, she was a girl when I knew her. She's a woman now that Ian knows her. Married a girl? Yeah, he married a little girl from my hometown.

Went down to Mississippi and plucked himself a nice 20 years. I do want to shout out. I do want to shout out. Alls are different down there. I do want to shout out Pizza Hut. Married the littlest little girl. Stake your claim. You put your flag in her.

Littlest girl that ever did live. Scooped her up. Put her in his backpack. Which girl went on your? Church girl. Back up to New Jersey. Threw her in a bike basket and drove home. Put her in her front pocket.

Little kiss on the cheek. We had a great time down there. You go to Two Brothers, get some beers? I'm not talking to Two Brothers right now. Oh, what happened? What happened? They didn't deliver? They didn't hook it up?

They didn't hold me a table. And that's fine. That's fine. They didn't see your tweet't hold me a table and that's fine that's fine i went to if they didn't see your tweet your brother's coming for beers yeah and i deleted the tweet when they didn't hold the table yeah we just kind of they've always treated me good so i'm gonna give them that one but i went to bored town pizza instead and i had the pizza and it was fine you get beers is it b-o-r-e-d no it's no that would be fun oh it's starkville alder b-o-R-E-D? No, it's no. That would be fun. No, it's B-O-A-R-D.

Come check out Bored Town Pizza. There's nothing else to do here but be bored in E.K. Can we get the picture of my ribbon cutting if we have it? I don't know if we have the ribbon cutting. See, that's what I mean. This is so political. It seems like you're about to run for small town mayor. It's a big business.

It really does. Well, you know, I've had – Don't do it. I've had beef with the Starkville mayor before, but yesterday she tweeted at me to buy a condo in Starkville. She knows if I do that, I'm going to come take her job. You think if you hit that first half-court shot, you would have actually had a really good –

I think you would have had a good chance of becoming the mayor. One more thing. I'm running for mayor. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Don't run for mayor. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Don't run for mayor. It's going to suck. Why do you keep talking me out of this?

What if you got third place? Oh, no. Didn't he make the runoff? You were the original person trying to talk me into it. I could see it in you, but now I have a distrust of politicians, and I don't want to hate you, too. Okay. All right. Well, I'm not going down there.

Don't do it. It's not worth it. You're not going to like the... You're just going to like the power in the free dinners, not the fucking bureaucracy and the fucking... I just want the t-shirts, though. Get in fresh water for the town or whatever the hell y'all are going to have to do. Brandon Walker for mayor, I just want the t-shirts.

What happens when a hurricane rips through? We're 150 miles inland. It's not possible. What's your plan, though? Tornado zone. Tornadoes. Oh, bad tornado zone. What happens if a tornado hits?

They often don't hit Starkville. They hit Columbus. That's Columbus as well. Brennan saves money by getting rid of the tornado siren, and he just hollers. He's a cloud. Hey, y'all. There's a cloud. Y'all, storm's a cloud. Yeah, a storm's coming.

Their budget is now in the black. Yeah. The tornado just hits one place, the kennel, and all the dogs die. All the local dogs die. Are hurricanes worse than tornadoes? I remember having like an irrational fear. They're both equally terrifying and terrible. I feel like seeing a tornado would be way

scarier than being in a hurricane. A hurricane gives you advance notice. You can get the fuck out. A tornado does not. A tornado just descends upon you and wreaks havoc on you. It probably depends on if you have flood insurance or not. A bad tornado is the worst. Really bad.

Yeah. Really bad, yeah. Really, really bad. I feel like hurricanes are like a... You can ride out a hurricane. They're non-discriminate. They just kind of wash over everything. A tornado is like, I'm going to fuck this street. I'm going to fuck all of you up. I'm going to kill you, but not you.

A lot of people are wearing gingham today. Am I? No, I don't think that's gingham. It's blueberry oatmeal. Nice. Yeah, you're right. It is blueberry oatmeal. Nice.

Yeah. What a scheme, yeah. You are right. Blueberry oatmeal. 100% correct. Man, I'm mad. Blueberry oatmeal. Yeah, that is blueberry oatmeal.

Fucking A. Good eye, kid. Look at this. The fuck is wearing blueberry oatmeal? Where have you been shopping? Where'd you get that? I'd like to... It's just Faraday.

Faraday. Faraday, okay. No free ads, but... Shout out Faraday. You got a big mask? Those look comfy. Yeah, very good. Sweatshirt flannel, so they feel like sweatshirts.

Oh, that's nice. What the fuck is Blamino dressed up for? Did you see his shoes? Yeah, because sweatshirt flannels, so they feel like sweatshirts. Oh, that's nice. What the fuck is Blaminal dressed up for? Do you see his shoes? Very shiny black loafers. I don't like those. No socks. No socks. You can tell he's breaking them in.

Hey, did someone just Google blueberry oatmeal and it came up? That's an actual. That's way too many blueberries in that oatmeal. I don't think I'm wearing blueberry oatmeal. That's exactly the fabric he's wearing. I think I'm wearing oatmeal with maybe a couple blueberries. Yeah, a hint of blue. Some cinnamon in there, too.

It's oatmeal with blueberries, not blueberry oatmeal. It's pretty fucking close. It is pretty close. It's the exact same thing. There's no original thoughts anymore. Maybe he's got to name candles, dude. I can't invent shit. Damn.

Blueberry oatmeal. You got intuition for fabric names. Maybe he's got to name candles. I can't invent shit. Damn. Where are you, O'Neal? You got intuition for fabric names. Name the rest of our fabric. What's Brandon's color? I can't do colors. Just foods. Patterns? Patterns that are foods?

What is that? Salmon. No. It's redder than salmon. It's the shit you put on something with a dentist. Oh, fluoride? This isn't fluoride. No, it's what the chicken nuggets are before.

I think he's the inside of a vagina. That pig slime. Inside of a vagina. Yeah. Yes. That's inner pussy. He's wearing inner pussy today. At least you're inner pussy. He's wearing inner pussy today. At least you're inner pussy.

It's just the inner pussy sweatshirt? That's all you're getting today? I was wondering why Che was licking his sweatshirt earlier. I'm wearing the yeast infection. What did Che say on Friday? He was like, if I could eat my own pussy, I would never leave that. Yeah. What a statement.

Pretty funny. Mysterious man. Pretty good one-liner. Jay, how are you feeling? Did we ever – we did look at the data. Can we pull it up real quick now? Yeah, there was a video of ripping through all his takes. They're not great.

Not great. I had the Texans win the division. I had the Chiefs missing the playoffs. Oh. Over 500. I just had that division being really good. Hot take culture. I think I had the Giants in.

Chiefs missing the playoffs was a pretty bad mess then. You didn't have Giants in. You had them in last place, but frisky. Chiefs missing the playoffs is just you were getting too cute. Yeah. Texans winning the division was probably me getting too cute. Oh, you also had the Packers in the Super Bowl, and they didn't make the playoffs. The Packers didn't make the playoffs?

The Braves, though. Damn, they didn't make the playoffs. All they had to do was beat the Lions at home. I was laying in bed last night at 2.30 in the morning with my headphones in, listening to ESPN Milwaukee. It was awesome. What were they saying? We're still going?

What happened, I called in and I implanted in their brains topics to talk about and they started actually debating my troll. Because I called in and I was like, would you rather miss the playoffs or have the number one pick? And they were like, I guess

the number one pick. And then later they were like, do the Packers have it the worst in the NFC North? Having a real discussion And then later they were like, do the Packers have it the worst in the NFC North? Like having a real discussion, I'm sitting there like, the Bears still suck like really bad. I don't know why. No, but Bears fans, I don't know how I got sucked into their Twitter and they're being so positive. They're like, who's got it better than us? First overall pick.

We control free agency. All trades go through us. Shit load of cap space. It was like the best NFL Sunday I've had in a very long time. Yeah, it was great. Worst record in the league. Traded your basically first-round pick for Chase Claypool. No, fuck that.

Don't bring that up. Yeah, I called in. I was just like, if I could go back in time and give you guys that win tonight, I would, but I can't. So, unfortunately, we're just going to have to live with the results that were played. Damn, the data. Yeah. You've got to live in the data.

That sucks for them. But that is a great joy. How good did the hook and ladder feel to you? Oh, the whole thing. Second and 17 or second and 20 or whatever it was? Dan Campbell's just such a man. You know, he's just got such masculine energy. Yeah.

Aaron Rodgers out or what? He's going to keep that jersey. Hold him hostage for like six months. I know. It sucks. It's the best. He's going to do a cryptic Instagram from fucking Chile or something in late April with Miles Teller and being like

everyone's going to freak out. He's going to be with Joe Rogan and Caleb in tiny balls. I love Chile. Do we order some Chiles? Chile? A fajita platter? It's so long. And the Eagles have the number one seed. That's awesome.

Are you ready for the streams? It's going to be awesome. I think I'm just going to print out my ticket and put it on a t-shirt. What do you mean? For the streams. The Eagles ticket. Oh yeah. Because I'm not going to wear Eagles gear, but I am rooting very hard. Yeah, yeah. Eagles.

What was the betting? Of course. What was it? It's 22 to 1 for them to win the Super Bowl. I'd win like $200,000. Oh, shit. Okay. All right.

Jesus. Great wager. It was a great prognostication. Even now, no matter what happens, it's a good bet. And it might be. Imagine if it's a good bet. And it might be, imagine if it's you versus Jay. Could very well be. Second round.

Good luck, bro. Worry about yourself, dude. Huh? I think the Giants beat Minnesota, so I think if we were to win, we would be playing. Well, that would be extra sweet because you guys beat us last year

and you were just fucking cocky as hell. Nothing would make my life better than to take you down a peg. I would love to play. If we play you guys next round, it means we won this weekend or Monday. So just FYI, Dak sucks. Right, which makes the Cowboys plus 600 to win the NFC the best bet because he's going to stop sucking, he's going to turn the interceptions off,

and they're going to realize, oh, we still have the highest scoring offense in the league, and they're going to win this NFC. He's going to turn the interceptions off, and they're going to realize, oh, we still have the highest scoring offense in the league, and they're going to win this NFC. He sucks. I think he's thrown like 11 interceptions in the last five or six games. It's bad. And he threw interceptions in both games against the Bucs the last two years. Interception percentage too?

Bad. He sucks. Give me that ball. He ain't good. What was that? Give me that ball. Trying to get Frank to go to Frank. Yesterday was so funny.

He had no idea how to react when the Dolphins made the playoff. Know how to be happy? Well, no, he just didn't. He had a whole rant like it was going to be a whole day of Frank ranting, and then he just went silent. He didn't say anything for like three hours. He deprived us of content. Yeah.

He just didn't know. He was clearly not. He was clearly. I don't want to say he was rooting against the Dolphins, but there might have been a part of him. Didn't he bet against them? Yeah. And then when it didn't happen, he was just like.

He bet 10 large against them. Yeah. That's why he didn't know how to react. He was probably upset. Yeah. They lost $10. I'm trying to think what he would do if one of his teams won a title. He would have nothing to do.

Worst pick in the draft. My theory is he would complain about the day they do the parade. How can you do a parade on a Tuesday? You know, something like that. This is incompetence. Why is he a Dolphins fan? He loved them growing up. Dan Marino.

No, not Dan Marino. He's a little older. I think the logo. No, I think actually he's told the story before. I think it was Flipper. I think you're right. I thought it was the perfect team, the 72 Dolphins. But I think he was a big Flipper guy. TV show. What is that?

You don't know Flipper? The talking dolphin? He didn't talk. Oh, that was Mr. Ed. So it's a fictional dolphin who doesn't talk? Every dolphin noise you've ever seen in a movie comes from that TV show. Flipper. Can anyone do that sound? Look at Flipper.

It was just a show about a dolphin. They had Lassie, they had Mr. Ed, they had Flipper. Every show had an animal. Flipper was the Lassie of the sea. Right. Flipper was the Lassie of the sea. Right. Flipper was always saving people. Yeah, he'd be like, oh no, little Timmy just got a boat accident. Have y'all ever seen Mr. Ed hit a home run against the Dodgers?

Yeah. Okay, because that's one of my favorite things. Best athlete of all time. He did? Mr. Ed hitting a home run against the Dodgers. How did he do it? He swung the bat and he ran around the bases. He slid into home.

Did he swing it with his hands? Who's Mr. Ed? Mr. Ed's a talking horse. He had it in his mouth and he turned his head real quick. I think you can sense a theme of TV shows in the 60s and 70s was just animal. That's the show. Yeah. Lassie, Mr. Ed.

Mr. Ed at least talked, though. Lassie and Flipper didn't talk. Andre the Seal movie. Do you guys remember Andre oh I loved that movie I would have loved to be in one of those meetings creating it like you know what people like

is dogs but I think everything they made everything they made everything talk back then like they made Herbie the love bug where they had a car

that had a person Homeward Bound oh yeah come on Air Bud Homeward Bound is Otis and Milo

oh that's Milo and Otis very different vibe fuck Homeward Bound is Otis and... Milo. Oh, that's Milo and Otis. Milo and Otis. Very different vibe. Fuck. Homeward Bound. You were thinking of Chance, Sassy, and Shadow. Homeward Bound is someone got into a run-in with a porcupine. Chance. Yeah.

Yeah. Was there a person that played Mr. Ed, or was it like a robot? Because, like, obviously it's not a robot. No, they just... They gave him, like, peanut butter or something that made him move his mouth, and then they voiced him. Oh, really? Yeah, they made him peanut butter or something that made him move his mouth, and then they voiced him. Oh, really? Yeah.

Then how did he hit a home run? I don't think he did. Well, he didn't hit a home run. It was an inside-the-park home run. He knocked it off the wall. He didn't hit it out of the park. That would be crazy. So he knocked it off the wall, and then he ran around the bases,

and he slid into home. Imagine being a catcher, like having to square up with a horse. It was a good slide, too. A play at the plate. Get a truck by a horse. Have you ever seen this slide? Can we pull it up, maybe? TJ, pull that up.

Wait, Mr. Ed is a real horse? A real horse, yes. Yeah, I've got to see this, though. All right, so there it goes. Low attendance. Well, Leo, I hope you win those three games in your homestand. Why, we're a cinch, thanks to... See, he's got the bat in his hand.

What's going on out there? Everyone talks like that. Why? Hey, what's that racket over there? Why, that's a horse playing baseball. Dude, that is stat cast. Wow. Oh, he ran into the wall.

Dude, he's slow. I don't believe it. No way. All right, the slide is the thing. Inside the park. Slide in. Slide. Oh, yo.

That was awesome. What a slide. What an athlete. Slide in! Slide! Wait, can you pause on the slide? How fake is that? What is it?

What was that? See, there was a dead horse getting dragged. I was going to say, this is like before like CGI and stuff. That is hilarious. Were they laughing at this because of how stupid it looked? I don't know. This is like the peak of... It was like, yeah, it was a carcass.

Is that a dead horse body? Has to be. Brigham Mortis? I was watching videos this weekend. I was watching videos this weekend of them giving horses anesthesia and knocking them out. It's fucking awesome. Really? I can just imagine how much drugs that is.

Did they CGI the guy jumping on the cage too? They reverse filmed it, right? They reverse filmed it. Okay, all right. We desegregated for this? Mr. Head. what a legend that's awesome you know what else was legendary what pizza hut their new uh their new melts yeah take their thin crust pizza and they fold it over i'm doing an ad right now is that okay yeah all right oh i thought you're just speaking extemporaneously yeah no they have pizza melts made just for you and no one else they took their thin and crispy crust and loaded it with your favorite toppings

and cheese and folded it over and baked it to melty perfection they serve it up with your favorite dipping sauce and it's only 6.99 great price it's so good you will not want to share i had like six of them the other day. They're delicious. They are the solo meal that comes in four mouth-watering recipes, satisfying your cravings whenever and wherever you like it. Thanks to Pizza Hut Melts, you never have to compromise ever again. You can't spell melts without M-E, me. That's in the copy.

I did not. There's my ribbon cutting. Look at that. Me and the mayor. Me and the mayor just cutting a ribbon. Enough for two. Price for one. Try the copy. I did not. There's my ribbon cutting. Look at that. Me and the mayor. Me and the mayor just cutting a ribbon. Enough for two. Price for one. Try the pizza.

Oh! That was a good chop. It would have been embarrassing if you had to do multiple. Yeah, well, I did stare at the scissors. It looks like you didn't know what to do with the scissors. I did not know what to do with the scissors afterwards. Waiting for someone to come take them. Keep going, pizza.

That looks delicious, though. Those melts, I got to tell you. The melts are fantastic. Again, I had with the scissors afterwards. Waiting for someone to come take them. Keep going pizza. That looks delicious, though. Those melts, I got to tell you. The melts are fantastic. Again, I had one the other day. I had the meat lovers. They also have them in Buffalo Ranch, I believe. Nice crunch, Joe. Great for dipping.

We had them behind the scenes at the Barstool Invitational, and they were all delicious. Don't run for mayor. Well, I'm not going to. I wouldn't do it. You are. You're fixing to. I'd have to move to Starkville to do it anyway, because in my hometown, I wouldn't want to

run for mayor against my friend Rod. Rod? Yeah, that was the mayor right there, Rod Bobo. Did I say Rod Bobo again? Yeah, so I would not beat Rod. Were you also the first customer? Well, they don't open until tomorrow. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Rod's a hilarious name. Yeah. Is it? Oh, Rodney. I was like, is it short or something? Yeah, and penis. Yeah. Rod's a hilarious name. Yeah. Is it? Oh, Rodney. Is it short or something? Yeah.

And penis. Rod. Like Rod Strickland. Rod Bobo. That's my guy. Rod Stewart. He's a little older than me. He played basketball with me.

You see the Roval banger? Oh, my God. We got to talk about that. Has everyone seen this video? JJ Watt? Oh, my God. We got to talk about that. Has everyone seen this video? JJ Watt? Oh, my God. It is crazy. It is so crazy that he released this himself.

Can you find it, TJ? What's the background of it? All right. So it's JJ Watt's last game in the NFL. Yeah. I think Ravel knows him or, you know, it's kind of one of those. Ravel has these relationships where he's like, he's my best friend like he does with Kobe. He wanted to go to his last game and say hello to him and then he posted this.

So, this is the video. Worked to get into position for 18 minutes. Look at him just standing right behind him. He's like the Salt Bae of the World Cup. He's not the only one waiting. Yeah. There's a bunch of special needs children

That JJ Watts about to go say hello to And Ravel cuts in line on them Just an all time video He cut in line of a special needs kid He put that out himself And he put it out himself He basically stalked him For 18 minutes for a hug. For what?

And wait, that was his last moment walking from the field into the stadium. And all the kids are there. They're so pumped. Made it about himself. And Ravel. I do not think this is that bad. Of course you don't. That makes sense.

Obviously. He obviously knows J.J. Watt based on their greeting. Right. So if he went to the game for him and he was going to see him after the game, he takes, what, 10 seconds away from these? I mean, you are Ravel, so it makes sense that you would say this. But if he knows him, why does he even have to go up to him to say hello? Why is that that big of a deal?

He just has to make it about himself. That's more what that's – he's making it about himself. It's such a special moment for J.J. Watt and these special needs kids who probably love him. Yeah. But why does he – if he knows him, he'd be like, I'll see you after the game, bro. I mean, if it's the last game,

I assume he's doing something with his family or whatever. Now, Ravel will cut in line on that too. Yeah. When I saw this, I honestly was like, that's not bad at all. G.J. Watkos gives his little son a kiss, and Ravel just throws his chick in there. Like a Secret Service agent. No! Dives in front of him.

He's kind of an adult special needs kid. Ravel? Yeah. I mean, that was like, why would you post it? You can tell there's a little special needs in there. Why would you post it? That's the part that just- The worst part, at least cut the can tell there's a little special needs in there. Why would you post it? That's the part that just. The worst part, at least cut the beginning, too, when he's just like standing there.

Right behind him. Yeah. Seven, eight, and go. Yeah. 18 minutes. Waited 18 whole minutes for this. Got in position. What do you mean got in position?

No. You're standing. Also, he's just walking around the stadium. You could have just walked up to him and been like, hey. Could have gone and seen him on the field. Right. And also, what else is J.J. W walked up to him and been like, hey. You could have gone and seen him on the field. Right. And also, what else is J.J. Watt going to do except for, like, hug him? You stopped him in the middle of the hallway.

First couple of pats on his back didn't even, like, move him or anything. Like, you could have walked with him. You knew he was there. J.J. Watt knew he was there. Oh, he saw him. He saw him. 16 minutes ago. 100%.

16 minutes ago, he's like, is he really going to follow me? Look at that. 100%. Look at that follow. He's's like is he really gonna follow look at that 100% look at that follow he's like is he really gonna follow and then he starts running here he's running

touches him touches him touches him took four touches that's so bad one two you notice someone he knows he's there

yeah he's still trying to four touches he literally he puts his arm in front of him by the end look at that he is ignoring him for a while and then he arm in front of him by the end. Look at that.

He is ignoring him for a while. And then he's in front. And then he stops him and turns him. He's like, oh, I saw you 15 minutes ago. Why didn't you say hi? And then Ravel gets in front of him to dap him up. And Ravel kind of goes in for the hug, no? A hundred percent.

AJ's legs look tiny, too. The boys in the back are just fired up. I mean, this is the man that bragged about his over nine Martin Luther King Jr. That's one of the best collections. And who could forget Leslie's all-time Ravel tweet? When Katie Ledecky broke all the records, he called her Katie Ledeckritariat. this is number one horse no no this is the peak right here older throwback january 1982 i was three i always loved girls never thought they were disgusting this is my friend leslie at the pool at woodmont country club in tamarack florida

i need help finding her to catch up. Guessing she's 45 now. What the fuck? Wait, what? You guys didn't know that one? Doesn't it kind of make sense that he jumped in the front of that line? Yeah. You know. I always loved girls.

Never thought they were disgusting. They didn't repulse me for a second. What an alpha. Oh, that's great. Yeah. But it will not phase him. No. He is unfazed. Didn't Salt Bae feel like some shame or something like that?

Or is he unfazed as well? I think he's unfazed. Salt Bae kind of bounced back from that. He posted a video of Messi interrupting a photo op that Salt Bae was doing to say hi to him at a restaurant. So he was just, that was revenge? He's just, he's fully just pushing through the hate. He was like, he was like, I'm going to wait till he wins the World Cup. He's like, actually, Messi is a big fan of mine.

I was doing him a favor. I feel like pushing through, it just works though. Like if you just trucking. And if you just don't have that part of your brain. Yeah, if you don't have that Steven You're better than that. You would not have done that. Oh, he's Revell. He would have done

that. Oh yeah, absolutely would have done that. He would have done that to like the third string tackle for the Bucs. I'm going to see if that looks like pregame and he probably got on the field or something like that, and he was waiting to get off. The point is, he didn't want to have that connection. He didn't care about that.

He wanted it to be filmed so everyone else would see him. Right. Yeah, that's. And he hopes J.J. Watt dies before him so he can post that and be like, last game of J.J. Watt's, we hugged. Fair. But as far as the interaction, I didn't think that was crazy. But yeah, the posting can be a little...

Remember when he got duped? That was awesome. How many times? Which time? He got duped online. By the Drew Brees lightning? Drew Brees, yeah. And he tweeted, I did not get duped.

Yeah, that was recent, right? Yeah, that was like a month ago. JFK tweets, my favorite. Oh, yeah. Just putting JFK's splattered brain. Like seven in the morning. 8K, like HD. Been like important day.

Watch his brains get shot. This was bad. Best is our friend Tyler Trillwithers when he had that long thread about how Jackie O had a dumper. Pop the top, Jackie. I want to flex a little. Steven, are you going to Tampa next Monday? No. No, we're going to stream.

We're streaming. Are you going to ride the fitness momentum and keep it going? I'm doing it through the end of January. Is that it? Yeah. I mean, I I'm doing it through the end of January. Is that it? Yeah. I mean, I've been doing it since March. No, like lifting and stuff. Oh.

I would like to start lifting more. You're not supposed to do it on TB12, but like... You're kind of a badass like that. You're supposed to lift on TB12? Yeah, you're supposed to to do resistance band stuff. I have those and I do exercise with those, but it's different than actual lifting weights.

Is TB12 a TV workout like Ty Bell? No, it's like a... That is a TB. Is Billy Blanks dead? No. Focus. I feel like he might have died. No, I'm just following the eating and then the drinking.

Tom Brady. He didn't answer the question. Oh, it's Tom Brady's thing. Tom Brady, yes. Sorry. He said that if Tom Brady came back, he would do TB12 method, which is a lot of eating and strict dieting. He's been on a diet to watch the team go eight and nine.

It's not incorrect. Yeah. You need to win two playoff games to have a winning record this year. I don't really care about a winning record. I care about everyone's 0-0. No. No. They need to win three.

Oh, yeah. You need to win three. You need to get to the Super Bowl. I'm focused on four, brother. What? Four wins. Billy Blanks is also alive. Okay.

Oh, good. That's good to know. But, yeah. If the Bucs win the Super Bowl, I will be. It would be such an awesome turn of events, though. No, it would be. It would be so much worse than the first one. Oh my God, it would just be going all out. Bucs Dolphins is my dream Super Bowl

just from an internal... Why not Bucs Jags? Bucs Jags is good, but Frank just because of Frank to get Frank J. Well, Frank would be on my side. Yeah, that's true. Frank, I'm trying to get Frank to go to Buffalo. That would be incredible.

I'm trying to get him. Well, he needs a cameraman. I think we're going to use our best cameraman, Rico Bosco. I like that. Just the two of them driving to Buffalo. Are you making them drive? I think they would probably drive, right? When is the game?

Sunday. One o'clock. It would be tough to get up there. I would have liked to film Frank, though, in a scenario like that. Check the weather forecast. Here goes the man for the job. Frank really wants to go. I know.

After the stream last night, he was thinking about tickets and being like, all right, how am I going about this? I mean, I'll get him tickets. We just need to figure out who's going to film him. Have you talked to Rico about it? I have not. Okay. We'll see what happens with that.

Who else would film him? I think PFT said, like, what cameraman do you hate the most? Pretty standard weather in Buffalo. 29 degrees this Sunday. I would have fun filming him, but I'm just doing shit this weekend. Oh, damn. What are you doing, bro? Why don't you drop those plans?

You got lined up. Some friends coming up to New York to visit. Better not be doing anything when the Eagles are playing. Not that they ain't playing this weekend, brother. Kick, kick, kick, kick. It's true. It's true. It's true.

Come on. Come on. That's the number one scene, bro. I want to feel the anger in those streams. Yeah, I want to sit right between you, Smitty, and Max. Oh, yeah. I fucking hate. Yeah. Kate's angry. Kate's angry as hell.

I do show up to the playoff streams. You went to the Saints game. Yeah. Remember that? Yes. That was a great time. We lost. Clap your hands, everybody.

What do you guys think about the national championship game tonight? Georgia. Georgia. TCU. All right, Sassy. My heart is TCU, so I'm not going to bet, George. I'm just going to take the over. It would be a great story, but no.

No. To cover or to win outright, Sass? Win outright. Oh, brother. Sharp has laid his pick. Say less. You sure don't want to put that one behind a paywall? Yeah.

Fucking big time pick, bro. You need an 800 number, Sass. Oh, man, I'm so bad. It's a 10-dimer. So TCU's overwhelmingly expected to win? No. Oh, to lose. Oh, to lose.

They're 13.5 point dogs. Oh. But they got a good wide receiver. And a good quarterback. And a good quarterback. Good corner, good line. They're good. They have good colors.

They got the Hypnotoad, too. Hypnotoad is the game changer. And their coach is named Dykes. Sonny Dykes. On TCU? Yeah. Sold. What was his dad's name again?

Spike Dykes. Spike Dykes. Spike Dykes. Great name. Hell no. Spike Dykes. Legend. Sonny's a great name.

Yeah. Yeah. Skrillex. Is that his name? Yeah. Sonny's a great name Yeah Yeah Skrillex Is that his name? Yeah Sonny Yes Yes

Big Daddy Kid He was Oh yeah he was Sonny All I got Sonny Delight Godfather Sonny Bamboo

Oh yeah Santino Corleone Played by James Caan Who's dead Godfather. Sunny Bamboo. Santino Corleone. Played by James Caan, who's dead. Yes, Jewish. Yes, not Jew-ish. Fully Jewish. And Scott Caan is his son.

Yes. Epitome Baby. Oh, man. He's a great actor. What has he been in? Ocean's Eleven. And like... Hawaii. Miami Vice. Hawaii Five- been in? Ocean's Eleven. And, like, Miami Vice. Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0. I watched the show Fleischman's in Trouble on Hulu. Don't watch that show if you were, like, in a fight

with your significant other. It's fucking heavy, but really good. I didn't even watch Marriage Story, bro. I'm not trying to watch that. I can't watch that either.

Simulate someone else's fight. Trouble was good. I't watch that either I liked it It was good Who is it? Fuck Social Network Jesse Eisenberg Lizzie McGuire No

What's her name? Big Eyes Lizzie Mc That's a good Jesse Eisenberg movie. What's her name? Big Eyes kind of looks like the. Lizzie McAlpine? No, the other. Fuck, I'm so bad with celebrities. Big Eyes. She got big eyes, Lizzie. Is that code for Big Pits?

Lizzie Kaplan? No. Okay. She does have larger breasts, too. Okay. There it is. Yeah, that girl. She does have big eyes. Yeah. She's got gorgeous is. Yeah, that girl. She does have big eyes.

Yeah. She's got gorgeous eyes. She's got a bunch of stuff. And Claire Danes. Why didn't I say Claire Danes? Also has big eyes. Claire Danes. Claire Danes.

Yeah, yeah. Claire Danes. Was she in Homeland? She's preggo again. What was the original show for Claire Danes? What was it called? Oh, MTV show, right? Yeah.

Oh. Was it? My So-Called Life? Wasn't it? Isn't that Claire Danes? Claire Danes is a Hall of Fame crier. Really? Yeah. She's a woman.

But she's really good at crying. She's first ballot even among them. Acting, yeah. The women would push her forward if they needed a good crier. Yeah, she's a really good crier. Can I see 90s Claire Danes? I'd like to go down. In Homeland, she's a little bit too much of a psycho for me.

She's a really good actress. Who's she married to? Yes. In Homeland, she was a little bit too much of a psycho for me. She's a really good actress. Who's she married to? Dane Danes? Dane Cook. Or Dane Cook. 90s Claire Danes. She was like a child. Yeah.

No. But I was a child. I was the same age as her. I was a little thrown off by her. She's 43. Let's pull her up a pond. I'm 43. You're 50 age as her. I was a little thrown off by her. I was 43. Let's pull her up a little. I'm 43. You're 50. I'm 43.

Plucked up a little girl. Claire Danes and I were born on the exact same day. Ian Rappaport was trying to pluck her up, and I said, I've been there. I got an even smaller girl for you. She was famous when she was like 14, 15. I don't want to fuck you up. Oh, no. She was born the day before me. you up. Oh, no. She was born the day before me.

Excuse me. Oh, wow. I was born April 13th. Wow. Yeah, we're basically the same person. Are you ready to get drunk on Friday, Brandon? I thought we were doing that in a couple weeks. Oh, we have two.

We got two. What are we doing this Friday? Tank race. What's a tank race? Two tanks full of fish. What? We should put a live fish in there. Fish Bowl Friday. Yeah, that would be.

Alright, well, are there teams? It's not going to be blackout. It's going to be nice, bud. Are there teams? Yeah, four versus four. Do they have the teams? No, it's Taylor and Will are coming, so they're going to be part of it, too. We're splitting them up, right? How do we turn? Well, actually, I think you were – there's seven of us, so if you don't want a drink, you don't have to.

Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Or you can if you want. We'll see. I could be the ref again. You're in for the cupcake race. So that's me and Gillis, right?

Yeah. I was talking to Shane on Saturday, and he was saying that he kind of wishes that him and Che were on a team together. We could do that. We could easily do that. Don't trade me for Che. Consider it done. Who is Che's team? It would be funny. Who's Che with? Nick. Alright, so Nick

and Brandon. Perfect. So we'll lose. I feel like Nick, I feel like Shane and Brandon are a super team with cupcake eating and beer drinking. You said that. I've never said anything about my cupcake eating. We realized cupcakes would make it easier.

Yeah, much easier. Just buy a shitload of cupcakes. It's just all the cupcakes are the same size. You're only required to eat one cupcake, though, right? Let's start. I could eat a six-pack of cupcakes in one full minute. No way. Ronan.

I'm a cake eater. Oh, you're not. Not in a minute though. You can't speed eat cupcakes that fast. I'll shove them. I'd shove them all in my mouth. It'll take a while to process the bread. You can go beers, right?

You don't have to go cake. Correct. We got to get the right cupcakes. But you could go all cake instead of beer. You could go all cake. I'm getting big cupcakes. I'd get caked out. You're getting big cupcakes, TJ?

Yeah, I got to find a baker that can make that many cupcakes. I'm going to go the exact amount to make me violently ill. It's going to be like two. No, like- It's half and half. Like six cupcakes and eight beers. Oh, you would be throwing up. That's a horrible cupcake.

Yeah, I know. I want that. You'd be throwing be throwing up. That's a horrible kickoff. Yeah, I know. I want that. You'd be throwing up something that no one's ever thrown up before. We need it to pace Shane so that he doesn't drink 15 beers in 40 minutes this time. That would be a new throw up right there. Yeah. Six cupcakes and eight beers. Like batter.

Maybe we just make Shane drink a little more. Oh, there's a good place like like, one subway stop from here. It's called, like, Big Booty Cupcakes. Do you know what I'm talking about? Anybody? Big Booty Cupcakes? It has some, it's, like, but their cupcakes are, like, actually legit. Really good.

Well, the thing is, I feel like we need, like, we need, like, base level, like, traditional cupcakes. Yeah. I feel like we're going to get, like, New York, like, and they'll come and they'll be, like, this big. Fancy, dense ass. Yeah. We need the grocery store. Right, that's what I'm talking about. The ones that are real sandy.

Dripping out of them. The ones that are real crummy, yeah. Crummy, crumbly, sandy, shitty ones. What if you did like three, how many mini cupcakes is one regular cupcake? Because I'm pretty confident that I could put down like 20 minis. The real small ones? Maybe like five.

The big five-ounce ones? Four or five how many are we doing a tech run for this Friday I'm going to have to I have so much gear at my desk I can't even sit at my desk anymore I want to know if we'll have enough piping

that's my main issue is the straws I have a feeling that we're going to get to that and I'm trying to be positive, but I feel like we might not be able to do it. At the very least, we can then just dunk our cups in the... Just keep dunking your cup into the tank. All right, that's fine. I'm cool with that. What about each person gets the tank for a minute,

and then you pass it? Ooh, like a boot? I like that. But wouldn't you backwash still then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely backwash. Backwash is happening. We just got to be adults about it. We're a week and a half away from Nick having strep throat.

Right. Fine. Where's he? Is he right now? Yeah. Is he by himself? Yes, because of me. He's with Boos.

Did you back out? Yeah, I didn't back. I never committed. Okay. Who's filming? Fasoli? Oh, Boos. Oh oh should we spin the wheel yeah we kind of have to you do you think you would have had a fart no i'm not a great command farter. Oh! She just brought one?

Ellie Keegs is going to be pissed. That's my typical behavior. I usually have that. It's insane how fucking performance anxiety. I would shit if I had that. I would shit. That one sounded like there was a shit in there. That did sound, yeah.

Did you say yes you could normally or no uh not usually no no okay that smells guy just busted ass i was like fart shit yeah i busted one right on steven chase face yeah that was that smelled so when i was watching that oh i was watching that from afar i was like oh that was funny's funny. How did the room smell? It smelled bad. The first one was terrible. I did one that was so... Big Cats, you had the one that

was genuinely super bad. But then we got spray and stuff and we... Kelly Keegs was mad. Was she actually though? I want to see her fart. Is that weird to say? Not at all.

No, no. Not at all. I'd like to call her out to fart. What is it, like $15 a month or something? Imagine, yeah. There's got to be some fart-only fans. Oh, for sure. There are way too many.

There's a lady selling her farts in a jar. Yeah, and she's probably making like a million dollars a month. Didn't she get hurt though? Didn't she have to go to the hospital because she was farting in a jar so hard or something like that? She like blew a gasket. I feel like I saw something about that. She blew out her ass. Yeah.

I kind of felt like I was going to blow my ass out when you're really forcing it. You're really trying. What's the best spot to start the spin? I think on wet Yeah? I don't think it would hit wet Okay Wait till wet

Clap your hands everybody Go If it gets wet we kill Sass Nice Sass we kill Sass. Oh. Nice, Sass. Good call, Sass. Please. Wait, is that affected every time?

I don't know. I got it down to a... People aren't going to like that. I hacked the wheel. Can you do it again from wet? Yeah, but sometimes it has a weaker spin. I just want to make sure. It's not always the same consistency of spin.

There's data about it. It very not always the same consistency of spin. I don't think there's data about it. It very rarely hits the one that it started with. Wait, there's data? There's like a whole explanation

about how the wheel works on this website. It's a random amount of spinning per spin. I see. It doesn't spin at the same rate twice.

Wow, it's like a snowflake? Yeah. That's incredible. I thought we hacked it. Yeah, I thought that... Did you guys see that video of the robot getting the ship beat out of it and it still soldiered on and was shooting targets with a handgun?

Can we watch it? Are you talking about Hitchbot? When Philly beat up Hitchbot? No, it was like they were training this robot to go under duress, to be attacked, and it was still just lying on the ground, just shooting tiny-ass targets. Look at this shit, bro. He's hockey-sticking it.

Oh, fuck. This robot has a gun? Yes. I'm not fucking around with that. Holy shit, bro. No, why are you messing with that? As a gun! Oh my god. I'm not touching a robot with a gun.

This is fake, isn't it? Is this fake? This feels fake. There's a guy in there. Oh. What? What? Hey, I'm... That was awesome. What? What? Oh, hey, I'm not...

You're still shooting. That was awesome. Why would you create that? What? Oh, boy. Oh, he hit him with a bottle. Oh. No.

Dude, that was going to kill them. Hell no. That was crazy. Yeah, doesn't that change how you look at everything? That would fuck him up. What the fuck was that, Roan? I don't know. I don't know what it was.

But yeah, if just one of those gets like, fuck this shit, I'm going to kill you all. Also, what if there's just like a simple malfunction? And he just runs off into the distance? Just shoots him in the head. Yeah. You guys serious? It's fake, right? It's an extremely fake video. What's happening in it?

CGI. What? I can't. Show us Dubai. What's happening in it? CGI. What? I can't. Show us Dubai. Still sweet though. Or Qatar. Still sweet to think about. Show us that Qatar video. Hey, when is Zaka? We were not duped. Zaka's coming back the week of the case race or at the earliest. At the earliest?

Yeah. Is he stuck in passport hell? He doesn't have an appointment until the 21st Damn Free our boy So he might be back in time for the case race He might not Gotta get him freed What's the date of the case race?

26 Release the 27th Actually 27th Let's go to Laidback Aranard Den we're not gonna do a show that day make the reservation lunch

yeah Steven what's the timing of the case I thought we were taping it Friday morning no we're taping it

Thursday night Thursday afternoon Thursday afternoon you're gonna be the first person to ever throw up just straight cake yeah let's go to Laid-Banard Den

at Laid-Banard Den make that reservation? For four? Yeah, four. Make it for like 11 a.m. You're going to throw up a geyser of fucking rainbow sprinkles. I just want to get it done with because there's like one guy who has like a list of the things we haven't done. And he just tweets at us and it makes me irrationally angry.

This is fake. Okay, I'm irrationally angry. This is fake. Okay, I'm on your side. That one is fake. We're doing this again? I mean, it is fake. I still... Someone's got to put the robot in this video.

Just shooting people in this video. This is not a real... Those cars aren't moving like cars. Yeah, right. I'm not... I can't do this again.

I mean, I can. And we're right. No, I was kidding. Don't do this again. I mean, I can. And we're right. No, I was kidding. Don't do this again. But we're right. Will you concede? No. Not a single ad on a car or a bus. That looks like a video game. Are you?

No! We're doing it again. Holy shit! I got so mad. We're doing it again. They're all fake. It looks fake. But it might be real.

Who knows? It is 100% real. It could be on either side. It's just entrenched. That video right there? Yeah. I thought that was real. Even afterwards and people, all the commenters, I was like, I don't get the joke because I don't get it.

That's real. That's real. That's real. But the first image was not real. Like the original one of that big ass blue building. That doesn't look that real to me either. That's fake. Look at the fake wind. That one looks real.

That's fake wind. Yeah, nothing ripples. Yeah. This is all real. This is real for sure. There's one part that looks fake. This is real for sure. There's one part that looks fake. That looks kind of fake. That looks very fake. That's all real.

KP, we're doing it again. I'm ignoring it. Buy a shirt. Buy a Yak shirt. Store.barstoolsports.com You know what is real and what's real good hello fresh uh you've got new year's goals and hello fresh is here to help you achieve them skip the grocery store and take control of your time and budget with delicious recipes delivered

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I have no idea how and everybody told me HelloFresh makes it like so, so, so easy. It's very easy. learn how to cook i have no idea how and everybody told me hello fresh makes it like so so so easy yeah um go to hellofresh.com slash yak 22 and use code yak 22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping go to hellofresh.com yak 22 and use code yak 22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping america's number one meal kit i'm gonna do it do it. I got to get on this. Totally. I got to start. You've never tried it? I've never. I need to. It's really good. I've been talking about it.

It's really good. Sloppy Joes are incredible. Oh, my God. They're actually sloppy. Yes. I didn't know they had the market where you get smaller items for like- Snacks. Little snacks here and there.

I had no idea. Swedish Fish. And Homegate. Delicious. Noted. I'm going to Homegate with HelloFresh. Fart pills for Sass. Yeah.

That's what I call them. Hmm. Sass, did you do any stand-up comedy recently? Yeah, last night. Dope. How'd it go? It went well. Yeah?

It went quite well. Beer? Yeah, at the stand. I didn't... I didn't don up in a little bit. Were you rusty? No, a little shaky. That's rusty. A little shaky. Still you rusty? No, a little shaky. That's rusty.

Still fucking brought the house down though. New shit though? Any new shit? Yeah. Nice. Yak stories coming up maybe? What? Something that we did maybe? I'm on this YouTube show.

It's actually a podcast. It is funny when I'll go up at the stand and there'll be one person there who will be a Yak fan. And out of nowhere, in the middle of my set, they'll just be like, KB's going to have that. Oh, yeah. I have to pause and be like, what are you talking about, dude? Yeah, that would piss me off so much. I'm like, no one here knows what you're talking about. Love that.

It's like people visiting New York And you're just throwing that out there Francis is going on tour right Yeah When does that start The beginning of February I got owned so bad by my son On Friday night

I saw Francis on the street I was with my son and Stella And he was with his two dogs And I was like I told my son I was like that's my friend Francis and as we're walking away he's like dad you don't have friends holy shit I actually have like I have vivid memories of me telling my mom like you don't have friends yeah I was you don't think your parents have friends yeah like yeah that was my friend Francis yeah and I remember my mom being, like, pissed.

It hurt real bad. Yeah, it's because of you. Because it was true. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Nailed her ass. Sucked. So?

It's a personal choice. And we went to the dog park, and he stepped in dog shit, and I didn't tell him it was right below him, so I got him back. Hell yeah. Yeah. He didn't clean it. He just tracks around the house. him it was right below him so I got him back. Hell yeah. He didn't clean it. He just treks around the house. I had to clean it so I got myself back. That's back on you. In the moment it felt good.

Why don't you have one of your friends come help you out? Get this shit off your shoe. What's the matter? You don't have any? No way of contacting them? Oh man, Sash, you're going to be a great dad. Yeah, you are. And soon. Yeah, very soon.

Did you see me when I was at your crib the other day? Yeah. Nice. What were you doing around there? Chilling with the boys. Nice. Owen Dukes, Tyler. I was in a spliff paralysis.

Were you laying down? We watched the Zac Efron DJ movie as a joke. We were like, this is going to be so bad. And then I ended up loving it. I went home and re-watched all the cool scenes. That movie blows. It was so good. It was good.

I'll stand by it. It was a good movie. It could have been a lot worse. Did one of you have to sit on Sass's bed? No, we didn't get to see that. You were playing video games while they were there? You want to hang with the boys? There was a room.

War doesn't stop. There was a room. I really love it. One was standing. I could either stand in the living room or lay in bed and play video games. Or open the door and listen. Yeah. Sometimes I will do that.

I'll just keep it cracked open. Just be part of the crew. Yeah. Sometimes I will do that. I'll just keep it cracked open. Just be part of the crew? Yeah. Yeah. I had a gaming session of the ages this weekend. No way. Yeah. Are you serious?

How long? I was in the shower thinking about it. What was the game? Warzone. Okay. Holy fuck, dude. 10 kills. Light work. That's it?

Bro. Bro. Bro. Why don't you stream then? Brandon, do you play any shoot-em-up games? No, Tommy does. Tommy does? Yeah. Does he play Warzone?

Yeah. I'd love to get him in our squad. I'll see about it. We keep it PG. Okay. Well, that's fine. I'm not worried about that. Yeah.

Probably get us some good, like... Tommy, I'll just... I I'm not worried about that. Yeah. Probably get us some good, like... Tommy, I'll just... I'll be in the other room and he'll be gaming with somebody online and he will just start fucking yelling. Oh, yeah. I mean, yelling at them. And just...

I have to come out and say it's a video game. There's nothing to yell about. What kind of hollering is it? It's... Sometimes it's very loud laughter. Like, very obnoxiously loud laughter And sometimes it's Oh come on

And he kind of growls at him And he gets pissed Dang Is he mad at like the opponents Or is he mad at his teammates I think both I think he just gets mad At situations

The boys letting him down Yeah That's the worst That is the worst Your squad just won't have your back Yeah And you gotta sit him down And be like you're gonna get chopped if you don't pick it up.

We say chopped. Yeah. His best. A lot of men dying to be in this squad. Tommy's best friend is somebody he just plays games with online, and he's never met him, but the kid lives in Chicago. You've got to find out. Oh, and how old is he?

Like 11 or 12. No, he's like 35. Yeah, he's definitely. White Sox day. It's those videos when they have the. I get to do that with Tommy soon. Yeah, can I watch one of those? Those videos are the best.

I love them. It's like they've played together for 30 years or something. When they first meet. So you want to go play? For adults, it's weird. You had that happen, TJ? Yeah, I have a bunch of friends in Jacksonville that I play games with, and I went down there for the Gator Bowl last year and stayed at their house. Did you do the

like meet up with them? Yeah, they picked me up from the airport. But did you like do the video? The video. I don't think there's a video. And then they came up here for a Rutgers game. We're boys. Wow. Some of them watch this show. Shout out the boys. How many is there? Nick. How many of them are there? So Nick

is the main friend. Of course. Nick Dybul and then his boys that he like grew up with also play with us. So you got into Nick's group. Right. We brought his group to our group. Merged groups. It's some kids I went to high school with. It's a kid from California.

Who got squeezed out? Love to see. Name it. Because you know one of them got squeezed out. There's some people that we used to game with That sort of drifted away Ah Squeezed out So one kid started playing

League of Legends We don't play League of Legends So we stopped talking Or he stopped joining the call So we don't hear from Jason anymore Was it cool when They picked you up from the airport Was it just like

A normal conversation Like you'd known each other forever It was like Yeah it was like Did you talk about the game No Did you call each other By your gamer tag?

Right, yeah, for sure. You did. Skint lizard. You're driving down the highway, you have a bogey on your left. Right, yeah. I watched his six. He went down, I revived him.

Pause. Big pause. How does that start? So you play one game together, randomly matched. So two of my friends, very boring story, two of my friends started

a Fortnite competitive Discord server, and two of my friends, very boring story, two of my friends started like a Fortnite competitive Discord server and then two, like two separate friends, they became friends through that. Then they started their own Discord.

That is a very boring story. I miss playing video games so much. When I was in sixth grade, I joined like a competitive clan on, I've done that before. In Call of Duty,

Modern Warfare 3 and then my mom like made me shut it down. I was in my tryout. My mom was telling me to get off the game. And I was on the mic with these two 30-year-old dudes. And I was screaming at my mom. You don't get it.

I was like, this is everything. And what was her reasoning? Time to go outside and play. That didn't take. No, it did. I had to get out of the house. No, it definitely didn't take. No, it did. Had to get out of the house. No, it definitely didn't take. You haven't gone hiking in a while.

No, I think I'm going to go to Denver this weekend, actually. Denver? Yeah. Rado? Yeah. Nice. Yeah, Chris Watts killed his wife and two daughters. Can I stay in your room?

Sure. I don't know if I'm going to go, though. How long were they dead for? That's the part that always intrigues me. Like someone killing their family and then just going on with their regular life for a few days? He didn't get to. The wife had a very good friend

who immediately knew something was up. Have you seen the account that's like eerie TikTok eerie tiktoks and shit like that and it's literally people going on tiktok being like i'm about to kill somebody and then like they do do it jeez oh my god it's like you're an idiot have you been listening to the case works podcast is really i know i need to now that i'm into that shit yeah i think there's only three episodes right now you should catch up. It's fucking crazy. They're solving big, big time, more than just a possible murder. It's wild.

This Explorer program that they talk about where kids get to go ride around with cops has been what seems like a breeding ground for pedophiles. Oh, God. Pedophile cops? Yeah. Hey, God. Pedophile cops? Yeah. Oh. Come on, guys. Cut it out.

Stop doing that. Leave the kids alone. You know the law. You're literally a police officer. Someone hit me up about what I was saying the other week, or last week, about someone was like, I study like criminology or whatever it is

and they said that there will never be like, they said they don't think there will ever be a serial killer that kills in like that quantity. You keep saying that I feel like you're just testing them.

Right. We definitely have. You're trying to lull everyone to sleep. Well, I said that but this girl like DM me like confirming being like, yeah, they say that it's never going to happen.

Like we're all going to get killed by the same serial killers like well, SAS challenged me every day. Then add on like 30 people. I don't like that because now these potential serial killers are going to hear that and it's going to be more motivation. No, that's what they want to do. He's literally calling them out.

Yeah. You don't have any of you. They're all trying. I mean, if you're a serial killer, I'm assuming you're trying to be the best serial killer of all time. More incentive. Not trying to do like like, four people. Can I tell you how I think I would do it? I would train.

You know those falcons that they train? I would tie a knife to its claws or whatever, and I would kill hikers. I would send it out to kill hikers. Whoa, that's fucked up. Okay. Who's going to catch it? National parks are the big one. A falcon?

In the boonies of the national parks. What are you going to tie to it? A knife or something. A knife? So when it dove. But how can you train the falcon to get the hiker? How can you train the falcon to use the knife? Want to kill them.

Why not just give it a gun? If it misses the first time, it's just going to think, okay, I'm going to fly back to Kate. This is what it's like being a woman. It's time you murder. People shoot you down. It's simple. People still doubt you. Give people some fucking Drano and their Gatorade at soccer practice or whatever.

Not that we doubt you. We doubt the Falcon. The thing is about the serial killer, they want to kill them themselves. They don't want them dead just to be dead. I'd have a GoPro on it or something. You can't put motive in a Falcon. They'll experience it. That Charlie Cullen dude, the nurse, didn't even know have a GoPro on it or something. You can't put motive in a film. You still experience it. That Charlie Cullen dude, the nurse, didn't even know

if the people were dying or not. He just assumed they were. What was that? The good nurse. I don't like killing and talking about killing. Oh, this is the act now. This is Scorpion. Kyle's got to get it out of his system. It feels like more sass than Kyle. Remember when we talked about 9-11 every day?

Yeah, I enjoyed that. This is going to be a ride it out. I like when Kyle gets- Remember the first case race? Yeah. And KB came in very mad fucking. I like when Kyle gets very invested in something. I learned something. Thank you.

I didn't know anything about the Idaho murders until you brought it up. And now it's like a good thing to talk about on the weekend. Impress your friends with that knowledge. Has there been any big breaks? I didn't know anything about the Idaho murders until you brought it up. And now it's like a good thing to talk about on the weekend. Yeah. Impress your friends with that knowledge. Has there been any big breaks? It's been kind of dead lately. Just trying to figure out why that girl didn't call 911, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, look who loves murder now. Yeah. Well, it's in the news. That's a pretty deep take, too. No, it's not. That's in the news. That's on the Twitter news feed. That's easy. that comes up on your phone whatever you say man yeah it's on the eerie

tiktoks account you're obsessed with serial killers and i think an owl would be better um than a falcon uh why they're better they divers. Missed so many of these shots. Falcons dive more in open fields, and owls dive in woods. Sad. Do you think you could train a bird to slice somebody? I think you could. I don't think you could. Also, couldn't they just use their own talons?

Yeah. Yeah, but that would take a lot of effort to kill with those things. If you train them to kill, they could... If you train any animal to kill, they could probably kill a human. Go for the jugular. I think it would be hard for them to fly. Why not a bear to kill, they could, if you train any animal to kill, they could probably kill a human. Go for the jugular. I think it would be hard for them to fly. Why not a bear?

Yeah, you're in the woods. Why not choose a bear? Yeah, I guess. Harder to train. Or a mountain lion. I bet a bear's easier to train than a bird. Or like you just put a snake

in somebody's tent at night and you run away. Oh, that's what Rip Wheeler did. He threw a rattlesnake in somebody's face. Rip Wheeler? Really? Yeah, I started watching Yellowstone. Oh, I knew that sounded familiar. Yeah. He took a cooler

and just threw a rattlesnake in somebody's face. That's a funny prank. That's Sawyer from Lost. If I had a snake, I would throw it at one of you guys. That is a good prank. But it wouldn't bite if you threw it. It would be in self-preservation mode. It wouldn't just land on you and bite. we bring in a snake for one of the case races oh oh yeah so much yes i love let it loose i hate him snakes and spiders actually we should have coolers beers and snakes like three beers, coolers, one snake cooler.

Yeah. And you don't know what you're grabbing into. I was on that Reddit page, like the oddly terrifying one, and I was scrolling it for like three hours. And then I got to one that was a spider, and I like couldn't sleep. Because it freaked me out so much. Spiders have never scared me. Oh, they're so fucking gross.

I got bit by a brown recluse. Did? Did I explain to you that? How? Where'd it get you? They're so fucking gross. I got bit by a brown recluse. You did? How? Where'd it get you? Right there. Took me down for three days. Dang. What do you mean?

What's the average? I was down for three days. I was very sick. You almost died? I didn't almost die, but I was very sick. I was lethargic. I didn't want to move. That sounds like you.

They took me to the doctor. He takes out the needle. Doctor. He sticks it right in there, and about 15 minutes later, I was normal. It's like bit by a snake or just living Brandon Walker's life of staying up until 4 in the morning doing Twitter Q&As. I haven't been doing that lately. They're the exact same. Forget to close the sunroof or bit by a snake?

Diagnosis. Was it 68 degrees today or were you bit by a snake? So, Tucson, I got a migraine out there of course you did i saw i knew you were in trouble when you were sitting there like uh yeah like a babushka the shawl over your head yeah in the shade wrapped up like a bedouin after he had claimed to everyone that he was the toughest guy at barstool i vomited in the phoenix airport i didn't tweet that toughest guy at barstool katie tweeted that um but yeah i vomited in the Phoenix airport. I didn't tweet that toughest guy at Barstool. Katie tweeted that. But yeah, I vomited in the Phoenix airport that night. Man.

Found a good bathroom, though. Growing up at the airport's tough. Never done it. It was fine. I cried to once. That's a long ass show, bro. Chill. Sleepy.

Why? I was watching American Horror Story all night. It's a good show. Great writing. Never seen it. Then I woke up early, brought my laundry in. 30 pounds of laundry. I really don't understand the feeling of wanting to get scared by the thing you're watching by TV.

I never watch horror movies. I understand watching to laugh, watching to feel emotional, but I don't understand watching to be scared. Fear is a sad movie or a sad music. It's the same thing. Or anything with a twist gets you thinking. People like to feel sad. But you know what I do with the twist. I always look ahead. My rotten tomatoes is just do I think about the movie or show

that I watch the next day when I wake up. Yeah. If I do, then it was a great show or movie. Mine's usually, do I look up name of the movie, movies like this? Yeah. Then the movies are never like it. I wake up and I'm like, damn, that was good. I can't believe that twist.

I can't believe that they're all dead in the sixth sense. I just watched, have you guys seen The Menu? Yeah. I just watched that the other day. That was pretty good. It was good. The Mess. Yeah.

Good. Recommend it. It's the one that lampooned foodie culture. Oh, yeah. What was this about? About a restaurant, a very exclusive list of guests. And things go left. You'll never see it coming.

Let's just say there's some twists and turns. Ooh. You tell. Let's just say there's some twists and turns. Ooh. You tell. Let's just say there's a woman in it. Okay? What? Let's just say it doesn't pass. A woman actress?

An actor? An actor. You're supposed to say actor now. Big eyes. Wait, you don't say actress anymore? I think you're supposed to say actor. Yeah, I think you are. I don't know why.

That one made no sense to me. That one makes no sense. It confuses me. You're not supposed to say stewardess? Or comedian? You just said comedian. Did we ever say comedian? I don't think so.

I think we said comedian. Janine Garofalo. She's a comedian. That's the number one show. Comedian. Amanda, name mealo? She's a comedian. That's an important show. Comedienne. Brandon, name me a 34-year-old actor. Gosling. No way.

What do you think? He's way older. The hell? He's like almost 50 probably. We're not going to end the show until you get one exactly 34. Someone has to name a 34-year-old male actor. Brandon. Brandon, we're not ending the show until you get 34 years old.

So eight, that's a lot. Henry Golding. That's way too old. I don't know. These are someone who played like a high school kid. Oh, one year off. He's about to be 36. Swinging.

Keep swinging. Like 23 months off. I don't know that I can name. That was a 34-year-old. Driver's too old, right? I'm Cruz. Adam Driver, too old. Maybe try it.

Yeah, it's too old. Oh. That's too old. That might be. 39. 39. Fuck, Brandon. I got one for you.

Someone else can guess. I'll try. I think we said it in the show. Miles Teller. Yeah, I feel like he's 36. Someone else can guess. I'll try. I think we said it in the show. Miles Teller. I think he's 36. Really? Maybe wrong. Miles Teller feels like he should be right around there.

87. Oh! Whoa! What about Efron? Yeah, I was thinking Zac Efron. Efron? You think Efron feels a little older? Efron's in his late 30s.

No, I think he's younger than me. Whoa! We're getting close. B. Jordan? Let's go Selena Gomez. No, I think he's younger than me. 30? No! Five-year-olds. We're getting close. B. Jordan? Let's go Selena Gomez. Oh, no. You said actor, bro.

She's my age. My bad, my bad. She's 30. Yeah, well, let's go Michael B. Jordan. 30. Actor. B. Jordan was in The Wire 20 years ago. But he was a kid in The Wire.

Michael B. Jordan. Oh! Everybody's 35. What about Shia LaBeouf? What about Shia LaBeouf? Shia LaBeouf. Shia LaBeou Oh! Everybody's 35. Shia LaBeouf? Oh, Shia LaBeouf. Shia LaBeouf. I think he's 36. He's old.

What about... Kevin Durant? What about Skeet Davidson? No, he's younger. You think so? He's younger. I think Pete Davidson's going to be close. No. What are some high school young...

Corbin Blue. Oh, Corbin Blue. What about... Try Corbin Blue. Oh, this is Blue. What about... Try Corbin Blue. Oh, this is going to drive me nuts. Kid from Holes. What's his name? 33.

33. Damn. Holy shit. Who was in the cast of Glee? Who are those kids? Corbin Blue and Zac Efron. What about Cory Monteith or whatever his name is? Cory Monteith.

What about the guy from The Flash? I'm going to go... Fuck? I'm going to go... Fuck. I'll do Evan Peters. That's a good one. 35? There are no 35s. Who's the guy that played the nerdy kid on The Last Station in the Office?

Clark. That's his name. Oh, that doesn't count. That doesn't count? He was in movies? It doesn't count. He was in SNL too, right? Hold his name. Oh, that doesn't count. That doesn't count? He was in movies? That doesn't count. He was in SNL too, right? Hold on.

I don't know actors. This should be easier. All right. Why don't you come up with 34? If you come up with 35. Everybody's 35. Kyle Mooney. Oh.

I'm not calling him an actor. Oh, he's older. He's like 37. Yeah. What about like Josh and Drake? No, older. H. He's like 37. What about Josh and Drake? No, older. Josh Peck? Think older.

He might be right on. Josh Peck might be. Josh Peck might be 34. Oh, 36. Is Jonah Hill too old? Yeah. Probably 40. Let's look.

39. Fuck, dude. This is tough. Because they always look way younger than they are. Who are the big actors? Who's a young actor? That's the questions you got, but we said actor, not actor. Actor.

I thought we were saying actor for the win. No, we ain't doing that. Come on. What about one of those people? We ain't doing all that. Come on. What about Austin Butler? He's 31.

It just says right there. That's why. Just going by that. Oh, very funny. Thanks. What about Chalamet? It just says right there. That's what I was just going by. Oh, very funny. Thanks. Who? What about Chalamet? Oh, he's like 24.

He's in his 20s. I'm just naming actors now. What about the other bro that was... What about that Holland guy? Tom Holland. Tom Holland. Oh, he's there. Because he's dating Zendaya.

Oh, fuck. Who used to be married to Miley Cyrus? What about Andrew Garfield? Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth. He's older. I think he's dating Zendaya. Who used to be married to Miley Cyrus? What about Andrew Garfield? Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth. He's older. I think he's older. All right, but let's stay in the Marvel universe here.

What about the Evans? How old is Evans? No way. It says it right there, you idiot. I don't know. I'm not looking. I can't see that far. That also says Elvis Presley.

What is the kid from Hole's name? Shia LaBeouf? No. Sarah! Sarah! That's actually kind of surprising. Elvis Presley. What is the kid from Holes name? Shia LaBeouf? No. There you go. Sarah! Yeah! Yay! That's actually kind of surprising.

Wow. I thought he was older. Yeah. There you go, Sarah. Anyone guess that? I thought he was much older. TJ did. All right.

All right. Okay. Well, that's the show. Good show, everyone. Oh, look at that. You got another one. You're just racking up the scores, TJ. We get it. Good internet. Me, you know. All everyone. Look at that. Another one. You're just racking up the scores, TJ. We get it.

Good internet. Me, you know. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. I'm 34. You're 34? Yeah, bro. I was in a movie once. Happy birthday, me.