The Yak - KB Invents a Brand New Slang Term | The Yak 8-29-24

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Big Cat delivers a big update on the Will Compton museumYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Cusicks, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Hello, everyone. Hello. Penis surgery day. Penis surgery day. We should actually try to get Che to zoom in We should talk to his doctor We should talk to his doctor

So Brandon is finishing Unnecessary Roughness We also have Nick who won the award yesterday For answering Hot Dog For Chepard No way He's in the booth right now We're going to have him Brandon wanted to be here for his gauntlet

So Nick is going to join us for his gauntlet so nick is gonna join us in a minute uh yesterday was so much fun yeah i was i really enjoyed that i think and i don't want to promise anything that then we're gonna be like what the fuck is this i do think and i think sam has been working on it stephanie you can chime in i do think we'll try to figure out a way to bring back callers a little bit we don't use it as a crutch right i think sparingly right sparingly because there is we don't really have a dump button so i think it will have to be one of those things that if we bring back callers callers have to like not fuck us because if they fuck us

then we'll just never do college a verbal pinky promise yeah well i mean it would just ruin it for everyone else yes so it's scouts honor the one time it happens it will be funny yeah but then we'll just never do it sure ruin it for everyone stephanie is that uh true that we have the capability we're working on it yep it's something that chris chris beats got in the works. Okay. Nice. So yeah, I do want to play with Lucas's phone some more,

but Lucas, how is it going? Yeah. Um, it's so thankfully the muting, the messages worked out great. So I can use my phone, but no, I'm still getting texts and calls like well into the night,

like voicemails and just the texts are funny. Cause I could read it and be like, Oh, but the voicemails and just the texts are funny because i could read it and be like oh but the voicemails are just like people moaning and just being like oh so how long have you been here lucas uh since seven o'clock this morning no he's a brand new hire so do you think you saying that you don't like the moaning voicemails will help honest to god no see i was thinking about it like i didn't want to talk too much about how i like the text because i think they're funny because then more people are going to do it and then i forgot saying you don't like something is going to make them do it more yeah so let's fill up his

voicemail box well actually once it's full it won't matter that's true yeah i'll just have a full mailbox forever i'm not changing my number I'm gonna leave one any texts that like really affected you emotionally or in any way uh no I'm kind of numb to any hate comments so those don't do anything yeah but what about like something nasty

something nice maybe someone sent a mail sent me his toes for Jerry didn't a chick send you something? Something nice? Possibly. Yeah, a tit, I saw it. Follow up?

Yeah, no, yeah. Did you follow up? Wait, did you go tit for tat? Yeah, no, yeah? No, you're right, you're right. Yes, there was a singular titty. So what was the no for? I don't know.

Follow up? No. Yeah. That's a lie. was a singular titty. So what was the no for? I don't know. Follow-up? No. That's a lie. That's a lie. He saw the one tit and told her he loved her. That was a yeah. I feel like that was a yeah. Lucas, did you respond?

No. Oh, heaven. Oh, hello. Oh, you snipped. Oh, no. You're a sad boy. oh hello oh you oh no you're a sad boy you're a sad boy aren't you he's got the cone on the cone around his dick

you can't use that piece anymore you've been nerfed 7 days whoa did his voice get deeper is he compensating? Yeah, what do they... You don't have balls. Your voice should be higher.

I'm using headphones maybe it's the wrong thing. Hold on. Wait. Seven days you can't nut? Can you not nut in seven... You can't nut for seven days?

Yep. That's bad for me. What if you get tempted? What would honestly happen? I don't know. I don't want to find out. It was pretty easy though. Honestly, fairly painless surgery. I didn't see

any of it. I think they used chip clips for something. What? I don't think they used chip clips, Jay. What do you mean? You mean a clamp? I don't know. Did they put you mean? You mean a clamp? Wait, so did they put you under? No, just like some numbing stuff, and then there was a sheet I couldn't see.

So was it numbing stuff? Did that feel good? I guess. It felt tingly, but not positive or negative. And then they chip-clipped your balls. Uh, yeah. I felt like they were twisting and chip-clipping stuff, and then I couldn't really feel too much after that.

None of that happened. Did any of the people that saw your dick for the first time give out a whoa, and then just like, sorry? That was unprofessional. Yeah. Uh, no. No. Have you gotten hard yet oh okay i text you a kate upton gif yeah i'm gonna text you some porn is your sack all gnarly what does it look like uh no pretty much fine there was like a

incision so there's like a line at where would be. This is giving me the willy. I'm going to throw up. Vaseline on it. And now it's under its back. So you have to put Vaseline on your nuts and you can't get hard? Actually, the doctor did it. Hell yeah. Oh, man.

So where are you right now? At home? Yep, at home on the couch. Man, I feel like, what if he changes? Is your kids now? Yeah, do they know they'll never have more brothers or sisters? They know what's wrong with that. They could.

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, they definitely could. They know I was going to the doctor today, yeah. Kill two birds with one stone. Give them the birds and the bees and tell them what you did. Yeah. It might be a little small for that, but I guess when I do have that conversation, that would make sense. They're not too young.

They're too small. They're too small. They get taller. I'm bummed out seeing you. I hope this doesn't change who you are. What if he just changes his approach? If he reverts? Yeah, you're like Eeyore. You've been on such a hot streak.

I hope you being nutless doesn't have you regress. I mean, for seven days, of which I'm not going to be in for four or five of them. I'm going to be going nuts starting, I guess, what, next Friday? Oh, yeah. You're going to be going nuts.

Oh, you're already excited? Oh, God. Yeah, you're going to be going. Oh, you're already excited? Oh, God. Great call. No. Oh. They did confirm numbers. They said I got to go back in eight weeks. I'd like to do a final checkup and then 60

60 ejects stay tuned damn alright thanks Jay I'm really sad about this I feel good it's a great day all you can eat sushi for lunch when is the last time you went 7 days

um this When is the last time you went seven days? This past week. I was gone for an entire week. So we were at camp. Oh, yeah, we were full. Okay. You didn't get stuffed? No.

You didn't feel stuffed? No. No, it was potentially a bonerless week. A bonerless week? No way. That just can't be. Not a single boner for an entire week? Amp was like pretty much all dudes were playing sports all the time.

You need to be around. You need to be in the vicinity of chicks to have a boner. Pretty much all dudes playing sports the whole time. Yeah, I guess it was. That seems right up your alley. Yeah. And then, yeah, I was with seven other dudes, good friends, and just drinking, hanging, boozing, nothing crazy. I hardly saw a single woman the entire time.

Yeah. Sounds like a fun bachelor party. Yeah, Emily at the craps table. Yeah. Okay. We at the craps table. Uh, okay. All right. Well, Jay feel,

feel better. I guess. I don't even know what. Thank you. Yeah. All right. All right. Bye.

See you. Bye. Can you say Lucas, can you, or Stephanie, can you send me the zoom link? I want someone else to zoom in real quick. Cause I have,

Oh wait, Jacqueline too soon. I have a second. We can cause complications, including bleeding oh man yeah we got to get them to we got to get them a lump of sperm someone's got to jerk them off well like if you fall asleep with your hand in water you piss is there something you could put your hand in to bust um what feels a woman Fall asleep with your hands in a pussy. Get him, get him.

Lift his hand. A warm glass of pussy. A warm glass of pussy. Oh, you guys got me. Not again. Cranking your boys. It's a warm glass of pussy. You put a little pussy on his hand.

Get him to smack his face. Tickle his face with a feather. Smack himself with pussy. Pussy on myself. What the fuck? Oh, we got to chase. Got to send us some jeopardy. Maybe do.

I'll tell him. I'll text him. I have one other person I want to zoom in because I wanted to make an announcement. A big announcement? I would say it's pretty big. It's something that's going to happen on this show. I would say it's pretty large. Okay.

Yeah. So I'm very excited. Got me excited. Yeah. I'm very excited for it. I'm very excited for it. I love announcements. Announcements are

getting to announce something. I don't know if I've ever done it. What do you mean? I don't think I've ever made an announcement. We should do morning announcements here from now on. We should get an intercom. That would be nice.

Yeah, we should get an intercom. Have it in your office? Oh, there he is. Will. What's in your office? Oh, there he is. Will. What's up, boys? First of all, how's the toe? Toe's getting better. I have it elevated right now, but it's making improvements.

Okay, did you just finish playing a softball game or what? It's just dirt. No, just some stuff for Nebraska this weekend. We got UTip coming up and we're about to put a mud hole in their ass so i gotta i had to do my part for the boys okay nice and then um you seem a little down too did you just get a vasectomy no i i did a lot of yelling and i'm losing my voice a little bit so i've got to just i gotta reel it in i gotta reel it in got it well i you might yell at this but I wanted to have you on because I wanted to make an announcement.

So next Thursday. Is the museum up? Hold on. So next Thursday you will be in the office. You're staying for Thursday Night Football, right? Yes. Okay. So next Thursday, I would like to make the announcement now.

Next Thursday will be the first, or I guess inaugural? Yeah, inaugural. The inaugural Will Compton Day. Wow. And it's going to take place in the office, and we're going to do a ribbon cutting for the bathroom. I got shirts that everyone's going to wear. We're going to have the Will Compton Day on the Yak for you.

I'm honored. Yeah, that fires me up to be celebrated. Not a lot of people can say that they have a museum somewhere, so I'm very excited to be there Thursday. Yeah, and you're going to have a whole day for you, and every year we'll have that be your day. Okay. I'm in. Listen have that be your day. Okay. I'm in.

Listen, I'm bought in. Okay. All right. Am I going to be showered? Are you guys going to shower me with gifts? Or is it just going to be kind of like – Yeah, I'll get you a gift. I'm going to get you a gift.

Yeah, we should. We should. It's going to be great. Do we know what's being placed in the museum yet you have the jersey clearly i have well which one i'm the main one the og i know it was i have multiple jerseys yeah i have multiple jerseys i actually had to call will yesterday because Will and I are good friends, and I had to just be like, hey, where's the line here?

Because I'm very excited. This is a passion project for me, the Will Compton Museum in the Handicap Bathroom. But our fans are so loyal and so awesome. I had a guy reach out to me, and he was like, I called Will's high school, and I, like like seeing if they'd sell any of the memorabilia and i was like let's not do that let's not do that i'm into that i

like that no i was like what's wrong with that i had i had reports of a of a restaurant in his hometown that has a framed jersey that his hospital reached out we have your foreskin yeah i am i am still after your teeth mold that would be great yeah your teeth mold would be great so you know how in like the hall of fame you could be like oh this is this wide receiver's hands you could put your yeah i want to put my mouth over his teeth yeah like this is what it would feel like to see if they match uh yeah washington might have that also i could get you the contact to the dentist I went to when I got my new ones. That would be great. That would be great.

Yeah, we would love to have the teeth mold. But we know where the line is now. We're not trying to actively purchase anything that's not for sale. We're only buying stuff that's for sale. I would be curious if the athletic director for North County High School would sell things that I donated to the school. And also, Hub's Pub. The restaurant you're talking about is Hub's Pub. Yes.

I think he's got a couple of them in there, and I just want to know if Hubbard would sell that shit. Listen, as the old saying, everyone's got a price, right? Everyone's got a price. I've already declared that I'll go broke. Yeah. We could make a trade to where you donate to north county yes if this museum of mine is in a bathroom we get you a solid north county's bathroom and that could be your donation yes bathroom for bathroom swap yeah yeah yeah bathroom swap so

what would we put it could be fun yeah it'd be fun and we could like in my bathroom it could just be like a microphone and a camera. That's good. A camera in the bathroom. We could also, hey, Big Cat, we could also, if they get down the road, we could team up and just start sponsoring bathrooms in a high school. Yes. I like that. Just start calling in.

We'll make a little donation. We want to bet. We just want your biggest stall. Yeah, this won't get creepy. I like this. You sponsoring cameras in high school boys' bathrooms. That's the big cat camera. Well, no, it wouldn't be big cat.

It would be the Will Compton Museum LLC. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is going to take over the world. I've legally kept myself clean here. All right, so Will, next Thursday, is there anything you would like for food? Because I'm going to have Donnie make, like, appetizer. We're having a whole ceremony.

I wouldn't mind. What's that burger spot? Well, no, Donnie's going to make it. Alshaville's good. Oh, Donnie. Okay, hey, Donnie makes great burgers. Let's have Donnie make everybody burgers. All right, sliders, maybe?

Burgers that he was passing around. Yeah. Yes. Okay. What's the attire? The attire I will handle. I'll handle the attire for everyone. Nick, you have to be formal.

I have to be formal? I would love to see you dressed up. I'll do it. I would love to see you dressed up. I'll dress up for you. Let's just say I'll make sure everyone has a shirt. Okay. Yeah.

Am I going to be in this shirt or is this all going to be? I think it would be weird if you wore your own shirt, but you all right yeah you're right you're right you're right i would never wear my own yeah yeah well maybe we'll have you sign the shirt and then we could we could put it up in the museum are you gonna charge people to go into this museum and am i gonna see any upside uh nick and i were discussing that maybe we'll i haven't figured out because i i kind of want to say on the sign like will world's largest wilcompton museum hours of operation uh and then it's like bathroom stall from 7 a.m to 7 p.m museums open from like 7 to 8 p.m so we might charge yeah we might i think like donations would be fair

yeah donations would be fair maybe a donation bucket yeah yeah yeah oh wow can we get an attendant in there yeah how good do you feel like how much stuff have you gotten sent to you i haven't received everything but i probably have over five pieces all right you want me to bring a piece from home i would love it i would love a donation oh we need something to tax write off you could write it off yeah yeah and this isn't your football museum this is the will compton museum so if you have something from your childhood a drawing your first haircut. All right.

I'll get the word. We want to tell the story of Will Compton. Okay. In the bathroom stall. In the bathroom stall. Is there a TV screen that's going to go in? Possibly. We're going to work on that.

Yeah, we're going to see. We're going to crunch some numbers. TV screen goes up and it's just highlights on a loop. It's weird you pluralized highlights. Yeah. Hey, no, Nick, I have some footage from my fourth grade days. Oh, okay. I would love that.

I would love that. That would be nice. And I'm not against me, highlights of me just standing on the sideline every now and then. Yeah. Catch me on the camera, a little cameo. Listen, it's going to be be great can we get will to narrate like a voice that plays oh yeah welcome to the will hey it's me will yeah thanks for visiting press yeah yeah i mean it's the flush maybe when you flow the flush sound yes okay

perfect thanks for visiting every time like, please remember to wipe. I hope so. Thanks for visiting. Remember to wipe your ass. I hope you aimed carefully. Okay. All right. Well, Will, next Thursday, it's going to be a movie.

Yeah, it's going to be. I can't wait. I can't wait to see you boys. Can't wait to be celebrated. It's a big day for the Compton household. Yeah, please prepare a speech as well. Okay, I'll do that. Think like, you know, something that you would give if you ever were inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton.

Yes, I will take it very seriously. Are we going to get a jacket out of this? I've thought about jackets. A brown jacket or yellow? I thought about jackets, but you would be the only one who would get a jacket. But maybe we'll get you a jacket. a jacket. But maybe we'll get you a jacket. Okay. Yeah, maybe we'll get you a jacket.

We should play like a Hall of Fame game of swords in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoa, whoa. Those plays? Did you get plays behind you? No, no. The boys are in here setting up for our new little studio. Okay. Oh, nice. Love it.

Love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Will. We'll see you next Thursday. All right, guys. Love you. All right, see you. I'm so excited for this museum.

I think he is, too. Not upset. No, because we talked about it. Like I said, I wanted to have an off-the-record, which I guess is now on-the-record conversation, be like, I want to know the line, because I do not want people going and trying to purchase shit from your high school and stuff like that. Or stealing.

Yeah, or stealing. So we agreed on that. The only things that will go in the museum have to be purchased that have been for sale. He's done nine years in the NFL. His career is impressive, and we're putting it in a bathroom. Yeah, we're putting it in a bathroom. He told me that initially he was upset for about an hour that i had gotten the jersey he was lusting for but then he came to the realization which is true like it's better that i own it than some

random person because he could always have it back he could perform a heist yeah we also could like if the museum doesn't do well we'll just close the museum you should get a bunch what a slap in the face i'm not listen if it's costing me a lot of money and it's not producing returns we will close the museum i also want to do like installations where it's like you know a different month we have a different piece on display and then we put it away so it's like you know people will come from near and far to see oh shit we have this jersey up this month you should get a bunch of sponsors for it have the bathroom stall doors looking like a nascar yeah yeah i'll never go out of business oh i would hate if i have to piss or shit and there's like a field trip happening in

there will be very funny like because i the beauty of this is i think it's gonna be a very fun day the will compton day the the inaugural will compton day next thursday uh but like a couple weeks after when it just becomes where people are shitting and they're like oh i'm just taking a shit with all of will compton's stuff here that's gonna be great yeah because it's going to be great. Yeah, because it's going to revert to a bathroom the following day. The following hour? Yeah. Yeah, it's never going to stop being a bathroom. No, it literally will not. The first ever themed pop-up stall.

Yeah, exactly. I'm so excited. So yeah, that's a big announcement. Next Thursday, Will Comp today. Everyone should probably bring something for him. I'll bring a gift. What I'm thinking is I'll talk to TJ when he gets gets back but we'll have a camera in the bathroom for the opening ceremonies gotta have that do a ribbon cutting we'll do a speech we'll do a tour of the

museum and then we'll yak great yeah and dad data day will be wednesday oh my god can we get that guy scott to uh give the tour oh we have we know a tour guide that is at the museum of science and industry he would love to be our tour guide for a at the Museum of Science and Industry. He would love to be our tour guide for a couple days. He's really good. Oh. He was the guy that did the... Can he get here on Thursday? Yeah, he works at the Museum of Science and Industry. Okay, so can you contact him? Absolutely. He'll love to. He'll do anything.

He did the Miles for Niles race. He was the narrator for that. Oh, yes. So he'll be our MC and our tour guide. Yeah, he will learn facts and he will ask any questions. Done. He will learn facts and he will ask any questions. Done. He will answer any questions. Done.

Yeah. Once the full video comes out, we'll get David Attenborough to narrate that. Yes. Perfect. All right. So we got a museum. Yeah. Can we get like a band, like a high school band?

Open up the red velvet rope. I'm down for that. I'll spare no expense. The mayor here. A key to the bathroom. A key to the bathroom. We got to the bathroom a key to the bathroom we gotta give him a key to the bathroom

we should yeah so many possibilities should it be like a gas station key where it has the big wooden thing that has to

have a nunchuck on it yeah key to the bathroom oh oh man again very impressive career on him yeah oh this is coming from love though oh yeah tremendous amount of love i love the guy and now he'll live in immortality like i'll try to i have to talk to our landlord but i'm sure i we could figure something out where

it's like in 30 years if this place gets gets bought, the museum has to stay up. Yeah. Forever. It does, yeah. It's like Peyton Manning's locker. They didn't take that down, right? Yeah. Wait, did they?

When? Where? I don't know. Sure. It was somebody's locker they didn't take down. Like how they left a couple seats left in Wrigley. Yeah, right. Yeah, sure.

I made that up, I think. It sounded right. They kept Peyton Manning's locker up. Peyton Manning's locker. Is it still up? Yeah. The toilet has a poop from Will in it that can't be touched.

Can't flush it. There's like a little device you have to like hold it and flush so it doesn't go down. Eternal poop. It's eternal poop. Boy, do I love that idea. What would happen? Eternal poop. It's eternal poop. Boy, do I love that idea. What would happen, Kyle?

If what? If a poop just stayed in a toilet forever. It would either grow or shrink. I think it would... Wait. It would deteriorate, I'm guessing. So Malasek's our poop experiment. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Because we made Malasek dry out one of his own turds. Me and Kyle had a really heated debate. It was the worst stretch of anus episodes ever. People hated it. We didn't stop. If you dried out a turd and added water, would it get its stink back? We made Malasek do it.

We learned nothing. Nothing. He only let the outside dry. When he cracked it open, the core was still molten. It filled up the office immediately. Cracked it open. He kept it in a solo cup.

In his windowsill. Yeah, Kate, that was the reason. But Malasek, he did it no questions asked. He volunteered. He does whatever. Except go with Clemmer. And go with Clemmer.

He can't do New Mexico. I guess for us. Which we have an update on. That's funny. We didn't even address it yesterday. We didn't mention it once. Oh, yeah. And he's just been torn.

He's been killing himself. I think he's going to be here on Friday. Time flies. Holy shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. How crazy if he showed up and we were like, oh, my God, that's right. Holy shit.

What the fuck are you doing here? Yeah. I fully forgot. All right, so what did he get? Where is he now? Kansas? He's been in Oklahoma City. He has 13.

Manhattan, Kansas. When will you guys start caring? 48. Actually, thinking about. Wait, hold on. Let's watch this. Manhattan, Kansas When will you guys start caring? 48 Actually thinking about Wait, hold on, let's watch this I'll give you $4 cash for that hat right now I wear this all the time, sir, I'm sorry I'll give you $50 cash for it right now

$50? $50 cash For this hat? For that hat I need to buy a purple hat in every single state And we're in Kansas and I need to buy this hat I can't believe you You're going to give me $50 for this hat

I'll give you $50 for the hat. Hey, sold. I was going to say, sold, man. What's $50? $40 to $50 was a big deal. He was wowed by it. Thank you, my friend. Your name?

Alan. Alan, I'm Chris. Thank you very much. Kansas is off the map. Let's go. Thank you, Alan. Let's go. It is so impossible to explain to people.

Hold on. Let me do an ad real quick, and then I sent you Lucas. It's so impossible to explain, and now we have people very worried about this. By the way, DraftKings. So we teamed up with DraftKings for their Draft 1 Get 1. Players receive a $20 NFL Best Ball Contest ticket with their first entry into NFL Best Ball Millionaire Contest. Must enter a lineup in the $15 million Best Ball Contest $20 entry fee. Receive a free bonus ticket.

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Not for college. I'm waiting for the NFL, but I did like so many. I entered a best ball yesterday. Hell yeah. You said you're doing 20 parlays week one. I'm going to do more than 10. I love that. Yeah. I love that for you. Three to four to five.

Have you told Big Cat you're hunting golden bag this year? I am. I'm going for the golden bag. What is it? That's 10,000 plus. 10,000 plus dollars? On one parlay, yes. Oh, my God.

You can probably conceive that, but for me, it'll be groundbreaking. Is it going to be a $1 parlay? What? Is it going to be a $1? No, it's going to be $20 to $50. I didn't know if it was one to win $10,000. No, it's it going to be a $1 parlay? What? Is it going to be a $1? No, it's going to be, you know, like $20 to $50 I didn't know if it was $1 to win $10,000 No, it's not going to be that crazy of odds Oh, you're trying to win

I got it Trying to win one $10,000 parlay I thought it was $10,000 to $1 I was like, I don't think that's going to happen, dude No I love it Yeah Week one will be rookie week

Love that Yeah Do you have a tease? Yeah, you're into this shit Yeah, I know And I am too I love it. Yeah. Week one will be rookie week. Love that. Yeah. Do you have a tease? Yeah, you're into this shit. Yeah, I know. And I am too. What's the tease for the- I don't know.

Rookie week. Keon Coleman, Brock Bowers. What is that? Marvin Harrison. How does it work together? Caleb Williams. Touch anytime. No, I know, but you always have a-

Oh, yeah. I can get witty. Yeah. But it would- That's my favorite part about your parlay. It would hurt my chances. Because I have to get a name that fits. What was it, Bertie Has a Little Lamb? Kittle.

Kittle Has a Little Lamb, yeah. Kittle Lamb. Terry Has a Kittle Lamb. Terry Has a Kittle Lamb. Stuff like that. Fun stuff. That's my favorite part of it. The bookworm.

Yeah, the bookworm. Who was the bookworm? Jaden Love Reed. Yeah. Love and Jaden. That was good. That was damn good. Yeah, you went crazy with that one. Yeah. That was good. Yeah, you went crazy with that one. I went crazy with that.

What was the LLLL? Was that one? Yes, that was a lot. Yeah, you got to bring that back. Never won one. What's up? I'm so excited for NFL. Connor, can you set up the gauntlet?

We're going to have Nick out here in a minute. Brandon, hey. No, no, no. Sit, sit, sit, sit. Hey. We saved Nick for you for the gauntlet. We're going to have Nick out here in a minute. Brandon, hey. No, no, no. Sit, sit, sit, sit. Hey. We saved Nick for you for the gauntlet. Nick who? The guy who won yesterday.

Hot dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We also missed. We had Che on. He's depressed. He's nerfed. So his dick's been cut? Yep.

And then. So there's not a lot of recovery there? Like he can just talk and be fine? Yeah, he's fine. They just numbed his dick. I can't believe he wasn't under. Yeah. That's crazy.

You don't go under for that? I'd want to be the most under. I'd never do that. I'd want to be under for days. They only use chip clips. That's what he said. Not to be confused with a regular clip. I don't like anything about it.

And then next Thursday is going to be the first inaugural Will Compton Day. All right. On the Yak. So we're going to unveil his museum. We had Will on. He's very excited. We have a lot of ideas for it. Wait.

We actually have a museum director now. Wait, wait, wait. Can't be next Thursday. No, Wednesday's Data Day. Oh. Yeah, next Thursday. Jay wanted to do Wednesday. Freddie Mercury's birthday.

We're messing with Data Day. He asked for it Wednesday. Okay. All right. All right. Fair enough. He wanted it Wednesday. It's like Christmas Eve and Christmas.

That's a good combo. It's going to be a good couple of days. That's a good back-to-back. Whoever thought of putting Christmas Eve right before Christmas? Give them a raise. Yeah. Shit, that was a good idea. Where should we put Christmas Eve?

That's the dudes making the calendar. Where do we put... Alright, now New Year's Eve. Perfect placement put Christmas Eve? That's the dudes making the calendar. Where do we put... All right, now New Year's Eve. Perfect place for Christmas Eve. It couldn't be in a better spot. Lucas, will you pull up that thing I sent you? So this is from a Kansas State Reddit. There's no way this is real.

Anyone else running into a guy asking to buy your purple hat? He seemed really eager and even upped his offer before i just had to walk away just wanted to alert the community about this could be a front for human trafficking i mean it's not it's probably not real but i really hope it is did anyone agree with it oh he did some in a campus building, and it looked extremely awkward. Yeah, he was posted up there for a while, too. I think it's probably not real, but I could see where there could be a real concern. If he'd been there for two hours, and he's just going up to everybody asking for the purple hat. Doesn't help that he's a 20-year-old boy following him around.

Yeah, true. I think he's getting them too easily. I want him to have to wear an overcoat. We got to make him look as creepy as possible. I want an overcoat and a fedora. Clemmer's like your guys, Milton, from Office Space. Like, I'm going to need you to pack it up and just go to New Mexico for a couple of years.

Oh, man. My purple hat. My purple hat. My purple head purple. He hasn't missed, though, on a state yet, correct? No. I mean, he almost missed on. He was there for Kansas for a while. I think he's in the library.

Him in a school was funny. Him walking around a campus is funny. They think he's a librarian, probably. The gentle Ben. Look at that. Oh, yeah, this is human trafficking. Now I think this is real. Yeah, he's trying to buy students' clothes.

I think it's better without sound. Oh, it's worse with sound. Dude, this is... Say it some more. I'm the vice president of that club. Oh, it's a club. I love the guy whispering back. Yeah, no, this is human trafficking.

He's one minute away from a good look. He's on the phone. Let's make him have to whisper. That guy didn't check up at all. Excuse me. I am going all over the country to buy your purple hat from somebody in every single state across the country. I will buy your hat off you for $40 cash. This is taken from him.

Oh, boy. a blue button. Are there any other bus? I was thinking about this morning. Yeah, like when he comes in with all these purple hats, I think I'm going to get like joy for about a minute. Yep. I need to buy a hat off someone. Every single state in America has a purple hat.

I will give you $30 for your hat. No. I will give you $4. No. I will give you $50 cash. hat. No. I will give you $40. No. I will give you $50 cash right now. $100. $50. $100.

Take it or leave it. Leave it. I'm fine providing somebody else's. Sorry. Oh, that's fine. I'm going to see. This is one he uses for streaming. Oh, he uses it for streaming.

Oh, that's his hat. Oh, you can't buy that. It's a custom logo hat. Good one, Beast. Would have been cool. That would have been great on the wall. That guy streams. I kind of interested in that guy his hat. Oh, you can't buy that. It's a custom logo hat. Good beast. Would have been cool. It would have been great on the wall. That guy streams. I'm kind of interested in that guy's stream.

Yeah. We needed his POV of that. Yeah. Yeah, if you had the glasses on. Climber cam. Oh, man. Yes, it would be great to see. So it's interesting that a place with an abundance of purple hats,

because they have a purple team, was the hardest place to get a purple hat. That's all they got. Good loyalty. The most attachment to their hats is in these places. You're in Kansas. You love your team and you don't have fashion sense. You need that purple hat.

You love your hat. You're in Kansas. I saw a dude in the locker room today. His ass, his white boy ass was so fat that I just pulled out Snapchat. Oh, you got a reflex? I stopped out Snapchat. I had to stop myself voluntarily. I wanted to show you guys. His white boy ass was so big. Did you get it?

No. I was like, if I get caught doing that. Was it muscular or fat? It was wide. Whoa. Yeah, big hips. I texted you about it yesterday. My Uber driver from the office yesterday was like, hinting, hinting, hinting how bad he had a piss.

And then when he dropped me off, he asked if he could come in my house. Oh. No. What? Yeah. What was your response? I said, this isn't my place. I'm visiting a friend. You also could.

Good lie. I would have said good lie. The street's right there, dude. I know. He was like, I guess this area, I don't really have anywhere to go to the bathroom. I have to go so bad. And he was like, hey, he was like fanning as a joke. He's like, finish that water.

I'll take the bottle. He was like the whole ride home. He was talking about how bad he had to piss. Oh, he was going to kill you. Maybe. Yeah. No, he was going to kill you. You can't.

Yeah, you couldn't. I couldn't bring him into my home. No. Oh, my God. And he was like, I'm so far away from where I usually piss. That was insane. Why didn't he ask you when he picked you up at the office building? I don't know.

He had to get to know me first. That's wild. He could have got a preview of the Will Compton stall. Oh, my God. Yeah, if he was the first guy, my Uber, to use it. Who is going to be first shit? I think we just leave it up to chance i guess we have will the chance yeah but we have to be in there yeah we have to watch him

we have to cheer him on that's what plays on loop on the tv screen a video of him taking a shit him groaning yeah we're going to try to figure out the uh logistics of having a flush that also says thank you for visiting the will compton museum it's got to be that should be easy yeah i someone's oh update uh our guy cliff de martino has purchased will compton museum.com for us thank you cliff thank you he sent me the screenshot and his last last purchase of a website was SharkyDuck.com. Oh, that was Cliff? Yeah. That was so long ago.

So Cliff Sarge is a silent guardian. He's just watching us at all times. Yeah, and he gets our domains. Yeah, he's just making sure that we don't get someone taking away the things we need. He should squat on the.gov one, too. Yeah. All right, let's getgov one too. Yeah. All right.

Let's get Nick in here. Yeah. Game time. We love getting out to live events, whether it's a concert, a football game, or a comedy show, and we always use game time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You know how much we love game time now with their brand new game time picks feature. They're making it even easier to get to a game.

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What are you waiting for? I'm going to buy those Pirates of Cubs tickets now with GameTime Picks. Nick. Nick. Hello. Hey. Nice. Oh, download the GameTime app.

Nice appearance. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Pleasant. Yeah. Pleasant to look at. Good face. I try to be.

I try to maintain that look. Yeah, because you're basically, you're speaking for all the yak listeners. I'm a chatter, yeah. Yeah, so you are someone who you're speaking for all the yak. I'm a chatter, yeah. Yeah, so you are someone who they have to see themselves. Is this a good representation? Yes. Surprisingly, hopefully. Probably not that accurate.

You're dressed just like Nick. Yeah, this is what we do. If you're a chatter, I'm hoping you're an outlier. There's no El Moogs from here. No El Moogs from me. So what was going through your head yesterday when Lucas did that and you're like, I'm in? Honestly, I missed the beginning of the show. So I saw it happening, like you guys taking calls.

And I was wondering, I was like, I chatted a few times and I was like, how the fuck do I get these guys to call me? So I rewound back to the beginning of the show and I found Lucas leaking his number. And I was like, all right, that must be it. And then the first one, the honey one, I didn't know. I had no idea. But then the second one, like, I knew for, like, eight minutes. I swear. I was, like, texting you.

Oh, you had to be freaking out. Yeah. I was like, Big Hat, just fucking call me. I was like, dude, I know that. Halfway house. Yes. Why'd you know? Or how'd you know?

Because the way you guys were alluding to it, you were talking about how there was two phrases, right? And you said you'd only take the first phrase. So I knew the second phrase was like a golf course. It had to have been at a golf course. And I was like, but they're not going to take that one. So it makes sense if you go more in depth and you do it. Holy shit. You're really fucking smart.

That's genius. I got on Shay's wavelength a little bit. Yeah. What do you do? I work in sales. I work from home's wavelength a little bit. Yeah. What do you do? I work in sales. I work from home, though, so it was nice. Nice. It was pretty easy to just kind of hop in a car and drive over here.

Good man. So this... Do you want to... Did you see the ones today that he has? No. He gave us... Don't look at the sheet if you want to guess. I didn't look.

Don't look at the sheet. Oh, I'm not looking. I don't want to guess. Yeah, no, if you want to... I'll do the easy one for us. Wait, wait, wait i don't want to guess yeah no if you want to i'll do the easy one for wait are we gonna play it we'll play it later he gave us three oh okay yeah i don't even see him okay well i'll stay i don't look the the easy answer is electric electric his what he shaves with or his best his razor wrong uh the bill he doesn't mind paying wrong okay his favorite thing announcers calls wrong oh we're right back in aren't we oh yeah is this i shouldn't have to ask but is this something that describes electricity now you can't ask questions. Probably not.

Electric. This is the easy one. His favorite word in the Barstool universe. Wrong. His favorite invention. Wrong. That would be electric. His favorite type of lawnmower.

Wrong. Can we ask? The next car he wants to get. Wrong. Also, remember, it should be phrases of question. Oh, the toothbrush that he has. I was going to say that. Close. It's close to toothbrush.

Oh, we're in the bathroom. We're in the bathroom? No, that was very close, but it's phrases of question. You don't keep your toothbrush in there? Oh, okay. No, no, no. What is his favorite type of toothbrush? Yes.

Wow. Electric. That's very easy. Yeah, that's easy. That's easy. Yeah. Okay. The other ones are very hard, which we will play later. Wow That's Very easy Yeah that's easy That's easy Yeah Okay The other ones are very hard

Which we will play later How many of his Extremely hard Are tooth related His last two are both tooth related The second one is insane Oh I'm excited Oh my god

Second one is insane Alright well Nick Thank you for coming in Yeah thanks for having me Ready for the gauntlet I hope so Okay This is huge This is for the chatuntlet? I hope so. Okay.

This is huge. This is for the chat. Just remember, it doesn't matter if you suck. So many people have sucked, and we've seen it. I disagree. And then they get so distraught. I don't want to see you distraught. I'll be happy.

I disagree on this one. Last page is past the field. Okay, good, good, good. But yeah, he is literally doing the gauntlet for the entire chat. This is the chat's time. So when the chat's like, oh, this guy sucks, we'll be like, well, yeah, the chat is this time. All right, boys. So this is for the entire chat. Here goes nothing.

Okay. You could be a legend. Play to win. No pressure, though. I shouldn't have said that, too. What if he beats my time? That would be amazing. And the chat can just be like, we're the champions.

They own us, yeah. And it's their show. This is going to be a disaster. Do not beat your time. Don't help him on the sporkle. Shockingly normal for a guy that got a stranger's number that leaked inside of the call a text. Yes, he's getting me too. And then also got the exact

phrasing of jeopardy. Yeah, there has to be something deep down. He's got some demons. He's eating man. Do a quick sweep of his crawl space. At least taste it. He's tasted man. Tasted man. Alright, you ready? I was talking about him right here.

We might have just alleged that you're a cannibal. Okay. All right, Nick, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Okay, Nick for the chat. The whole chat. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh no.

It would be so funny if he was bad and he had like an all-time freak attack. Yeah, he just had a temper. Oh! I fucking knew this was gonna happen. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Fucking asshole. Punches himself. Oh shit, he's crushing.

He is crushing. He's on record alert. Oh shit, he's crushing. That's a bad talk. Oh shit, he's crushing. He is on record alone. Oh, he's crushed I remember that's a bad time bubble. Oh shit. He's crushing Okay, the throw is not great. Oh, yeah, I don't think he hoops his swing was beautiful Oh, whoa, no He's got to get this first shots could tell us everything. Oh Oh no! He's gotta get this. First shot's gonna tell us everything. Oh, pretty good!

Really hard though. Shorts. There he goes. There he is. There he is. Oh. Oh. There it is. All right.

Brandon's seat. Stay right here in Brandon's seat. 130. All right, here we go. Cooking channel. QBs could be easy. Comedy Central. Oh, no.

Oh, Lucas is not highlighting and deleting. Five states with no statewide sales tax. Aaron Rodgers. There you go. Low tech, nice shortcuts. You can just do last name. Manning. Yeah, that could get you two. Mahomes

Foles Tornado Hurricane Thunderstorm Earthquake Chive Thunderstorm. Earthquake. Whoa. Chive. Oh, SRK Quake isn't weather.

Chive. Oh, four main surfaces of tennis courts. Clay. There you go. Hard court. Grass. Pay. Wow.

That was a great fucking time, dude. Great fucking time Wow Is he first page? He's first page Yes You beat Kyle Long Oh you just missed him

Caruso Between Long and Caruso Wow right after Caruso That was pretty damn good That's good shit For the whole chat Wow. Right after Caruso. Okay. That was pretty damn good. That's good shit. For the whole chat. All right, boys.

That was awesome. Thank you, Nick. Good representation. Thank you so much for coming in. Appreciate your support. Congrats on getting hot dog. Yeah. Appreciate you watching. That was huge for the chat.

The chat is officially on the board. They're going to be insufferable. Yeah. Fuck. I can't remember who the New Jersey guy was, if he ever comes we'll just anytime a chat member comes we'll just average all their time just have a chat time or we gotta make a separate list yeah true true yeah you're yeah chad is going dubs impressive shit drove down here first page gets out yeah that's it hey yeah great to meet you man thank you nick good, Nick. Good to see you, man. Appreciate it.

Cool dude. Yeah. Yes. Totally normal. Dap the rest. Dap the rest. Great to meet you, man. Yep.

That was good. Clean. Clean. Silky. Step. Nice pop. Good to meet you. Oh, we bumped it, too. Lucas, get that other wheel up.

Thanks, guys. See you, man. Yeah. Thank you, Nick. So normal. Who's going to hug Lucas? Get the wheel up. That'll be easy.

Come on, Lucas. Forget every time. Quick, quick, Lucas. Quick, quick, hug Lucas? Get the wheel. That'll be easy. Come on, Lucas. Forget every time. Quick, quick, Lucas. Quick, quick, quick. We got a runner. Do you think he remembers it's coming? He probably is waiting for it. Is he loitering for the hug?

Lucas, do you know what we're talking about? He doesn't. His brain is frozen. Go, spin it. Spin it. Yeah, that's good enough. And then get to the other camera to see him. Hey!

Yes! Grab his butt. Cut one butt. Hold on, Kate. Make sure you're on camera. Hold on, Kate. Wait! Lucas! Lucas is going the wrong way!

No! Oh, you missed it. The exorcist. Do it again! Lucas is going the long way. No. Lucas. Oh, you missed it. The exorcist. Do it again. Do it again. Cup his butt. Cup his butt.

Cup his butt, but in front of the gambling case. Yeah, yeah. Right in front of the camera. Get in front of the camera. Yeah, see where the camera is. Bring him to Megan. Oh, no. Lucas. Lucas.

Lucas. Right there. Pick him up. Why'd you go the long way? Press him up against the wall. He wouldn't let me go the other way. He picks him up, presses him against the wall. What's he doing?

He, like, squeezes his fucking wrist. Kate's spine really is messed up. Oh, oh, oh. Come on. Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. Spank it. Yeah. Grab it. Grab it. Grab it.

Spank it. Yeah, all right. Wasn't awkward at all. I would have grabbed it. I would have cupped the fucker. Yeah. Yeah, I would have picked him up and had his legs around my waist. If I was stronger, that was the plan. I was going to reverse 69 and like flying.

Oh, hell yeah. 69. I kept my hands straight. I didn't grip. That's kosher. 69. I kept my hands straight. I didn't grip. That's kosher. Gotta grip. What a normal ass dude. Yeah, what a normal guy. I'm given the circumstance.

I'd argue no. That he knew Hot Dog? No, I just like, not normal. He's not. Yeah, but like for the chat, we could have it could have been a disaster. It would have been way worse. So shout out Nick.

Big shout out. Big dub. Drift 40 minutes. Caught here. Cool tattoos. Good strong handshake too. Nice handshake. I wasn't expecting it.

Good solid handshake. He was a good hugger. Yeah? Well, we didn't get it on camera, so. Really? No, neither one? The first one just gave us car sickness. The second one, we got it, but the first one, Lucas didn't get the camera there in time.

Oh, we did a cute little foot flip. Oh, see, that's why we had to go back and do it again. It was really cute. Yeah. Damn. Brandon, how's your day going? My day's going very well, Dan. Thank you very much.

Very, very, very busy day. My busiest day in months. Yes. Really? Yeah, but this is football season. It's football season. We started with a college football show. Then I did mostly an unnecessary roughness.

Now this. Then I got a wrestling interview today. I got a lot going on. Wait, who you got? Cardona. Whoa. Yeah. He's tan.

Yeah, he's real tan. Did you have anything you wanted to say to me? We have to do this again? Every time you- You're an SEC fan. Every time you you win some i don't get excited when lsu wins every time you win something significant with doug's i have to stop what i'm doing and and tell you congratulations i just asked if you had anything you want to say to me i didn't want to say it do you need me to say this question congratulations thank you i get you i can get you to do anything I want. You asked me very nicely. So it wasn't really...

Anything I want. By asking nicely? Hmm. Yeah. Nice shoes. Thank you. It's so cute when you match your outfit. Yeah.

I got my Mr. State outfit on today. On busy days. My Air Force Ones. Yeah. Oh, come on. You don't have to... Busy days like today, does Art get... Like, you didn't text me all day you didn't call me

do they get in a little bit of a funk about that I haven't talked to either Art or Funk today none of my friends we're right here are you going to be too tired to fuck his ass when you get home babe I'm too tired to fuck your ass

I can't fuck your ass tonight. Can we just tomorrow? I'll lay on my side. You can have it. Don't pull my hair. I just got it done. Can't fuck your ass. Kyle, is your bladder okay?

I don't know. It's like three every yak. Yeah. But I'm also chugging water throughout the day. Oh, why? That might be it. What's your water intake for the day? You gallon?

It's making me feel better. Oh, okay. To be honest. I'm annoyed by peeing. I don't like peeing. It's almost not worth it. Yeah. It might not be.

But, yeah. Probably like a gallon plus. I'm trying to do two liters a day. That's good. And it's tough. It's a struggle for me. Because I pee a lot naturally. You can poison yourself if you drink too much.

That's a whole lot. On the radio. That woman had to hold her pee for a wee when the wee came out. She died. What? You can die from that? Wouldn't you just pee? I don't think she was allowed to. I think that was part of the contest.

Yeah, but you think you would... Wouldn't the body just make you pee before you die? Is that an urban legend? I think it was true, but she was probably just built to die. Yeah, some are. Some are. That is true. You see some people out and you're like... Yeah, they're... You're just ready to go.

Yep. You're no shock. You don't ask how yeah yeah she did 12 hours uh without peeing and drinking as much water that shouldn't kill you oh but she's drinking oh she probably drowned it was oh yeah it was called you could dry dry drowning yeah hold your wee for a wee yeah that's right you can dry drown i figured you just piss yourself before you die she corked it. No, that happens every five years. No, but that's not why she died.

Oh, okay. She literally drowned herself. Every 10 years, there's a frat story. So it goes in her lungs? Yeah, I think it's just like- There's nowhere for her to go? It's like your brain- Search dry drowning, Lucas.

That's how I got my Honda. Hold your poop for a coupe. Yeah, that's right. You did. You went one month. No way. Yeah, a lot of dudes who almost drown, they swallow a bunch of water,

then they die on the beach. Dry drowning is a non-medical term used to describe an acute lung injury that can occur when someone inhales water through their nose or mouth while underwater. So I don't think that was it? That doesn't sound dry. No, there's a form where there's so much water in your body,

it dilutes your blood to the point where your blood goes dry. It's like water. That was the wettest drowning. Yeah, you have to be in water. And drink a lot of water. You can't get wetter. Wet inside and out, yeah. You're dying of wetness.

Drowning's got to be the scariest way to die. No. What? Scariest? Yes. Dude, like having the moment. I think that would be better. That's just pure adrenaline and pain.

Right. The knowledge of, oh, I'm going to drown. Like as you're about to drown, being like, this is it. I can't hold on anymore. And then you just got to breathe in. It's nothing. You don't just fade though? Remember when you go off a diving board and you run out of air and you start making that noise as you're about to get to the surface?

Yeah. That's scary as fuck. I don't think you just fade. I think you're conscious right before you die. I'd rather be burned alive. I take drowning over stabbing. Yeah. They say it's good, and then they twist it on you,

and they say it doesn't feel good. I have this conversation already this week on a show. What? About drowning? About would it be better to drown or get burned alive? And apparently the feedback I got on getting burned alive was it hurts incredibly at first. And then your nerve endings burn off and you don't feel it. But that's a lot.

But there's a whole lot. I mean, maybe it stops hurting here, but then it starts hurting here. I can't get over it. That's a window of time that's still too much also you have to think of how you'll be found i'd rather be found burnt to a crisp than just floating with my little butt up yeah all bloated yeah you're like damn you was breaking the surface yeah oh my god is that nick's little butt yeah that would be oh your skin's all raisiny. Yeah. If my shirt came off.

Oh, yeah, that'd be embarrassing. I'd be so pissed. Lucas, can we get your phone? Yeah, let's get the phone. Let's get to it. Wait, have y'all asked him when the act started again, did it start back up for him? He was poetic about it. He said, I was long into the night.

So people have been leaving him voicemails where he's moaning. Oh, let's hear some moans. Yeah. Can he put them all in a group chat and send them the link to Jerry After Dark? $4,000. Oh, that would be a, what a reversal. By texting Lucas, you sign up for his mailing list. Right, exactly.

Yeah, you should sell this data that you have. Yeah. It'd make a lot of money. Sign him up for shit. I got a place you could sell it to. What you got? Willcompt you have. Yeah. You can make a lot of money. Sign them up for shit. I got a place you can sell it to. What you got? Willcomptomuseum.com. Oh, that's wonderful.

Is that a guy mode? That was me. They're all guy modes. Come on. Willcomptomuseum.com, and we text a lot. Yeah. We pay so much money. It's an hourly newsletter.

Every person who uses the bathroom, you get an alert. You have to sign up for shit alerts. I actually love the idea of an app that pops up every time someone goes in that stall. You follow them, yeah. Oh, Kate shit. Yeah, Lucas, hand over your phone, please. I got you. I also have the video of the first hug.

Oh. Oh. Moments passed. Yeah. I'd actually like to see just the video of you rotating the camera the wrong way. I'm just going to want to watch the camera. It wasn't the wrong way. It just wouldn't go further anymore that way.

What? They're not owls? Who's not an owl? No, they actually are owls, Stephan. Someone snapped. They literally not owls? No, they actually are owls, Stefan. Someone snapped. They literally are owls. An owl might be the perfect animal to compare. Yeah, that is an owl.

Well, they turn their heads all the way around. Yeah, they can't go all the way around. They go to one point, and then they go back. But I think they can turn it all the way around. No, but... And be looking forward again. No way. No way they can go three to six. No way. No, no. I think they can turn it all the way around. No, but. And be looking forward again. No way. No way they can go 360.

No way. No. I think so. What? No, no, no. I was under the impression. Serious? No way they could spin all the way.

I'm pretty sure they can go almost. I thought they could. Yeah. That's like their thing. No, because then the nerves to their brain. I thought it was like 359. Yeah, right. I don't know.

That's damn close. They can go completely backwards. You guys are being, if it has to be perfect 360. Well, that's the whole point of the discussion of the camera, if it's an owl. Yeah, but if they go all the way around to right here, I mean, that's close enough. No, that's what the camera is, an owl. The camera's not an owl. It doesn't have feathers.

No, owls cannot turn their head 360 degrees. They can turn their necks up to 135 degrees in either direction. Okay, so yeah, the camera's an owl. Okay. You ever seen one without feathers? It's very upsetting. No, I want to. You ever seen their legs? They're so cute.

I want an owl. Owl legs are crazy. I want to see an owl without feathers now. All big, big predatory birds have crazy legs. Got big, thick legs. I got to see this owl. Are they fake? There's a density to them, yeah.

Oh, fuck you. Whoa you whoa yeah those are thick oh i'd eat that yeah that's a wing what is that is that really there's the one with the legs i like the legs photo where he's got the feathers but it's whoa wait what is another predatory bird eagle bald eagle can we see an eagle with no feathers uh why would you want to why are we unfettering birds because i want to see the thick legs you've been talking about oh they got thick leg eagles got good thick juicy legs no i don't think having hard time picturing that a bald eagle well the one i saw did i I don't think. Birds have thick legs. Oh. Oh. Oh, the woman just. Oh, wait.

Get off me. Yeah, fuck this. We're just seeing dead birds, Lucas. Lucas. It's like a Russian trophy. I didn't make the Google search come up like that. Maybe I meant long legs. You got to protect us.

You mean long legs? Lucas, you didn't. I think I meant long legs. You didn't learn your lesson to look at what you're putting on the screen before you put it on the screen? No. You know, ostriches have really strong quads you might be thinking of ostriches they don't have strong they can kill you with a kick uh look at

them was anyone here in the dead bird boys group chat no it was sad i forgot about that i wanted it but i didn't see enough dead birds to like be up we had a group chat at work if you came across a dead bird you could be in the group chat and then from then on whenever any of us came across a dead bird that's the whole conversation was just dead birds i think roan started it that sounds about right yeah they're ripped they're not huge but they're oh yeah they got some they got some tree trunks ostriches it's kind of good. Are they good? Yep. Tad bit. This one guy, Lucas, has just sent like 30 pictures, the same picture of KB. Oh. That was one of the funnier ones. Just nonstop.

It never ends. It's just you. What scene is that from? It looks like a... What scene is this from? It looks like a yak Were we sitting in a stadium somewhere? Oh, that's from the basketball game

Yeah, the Barstool Invitational Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Alright, you guys ready? Do you guys want to know the Jeopardy? Because it's on the prep sheet We're playing the call one Yeah, I do want to know I want to react appropriately You can read it so you can

decide i mean they're both ridiculous do we want to go hard or very hard first it's on the ground but i don't want to see and ruin it i want to have fun they're insane the very hard one's not his personal opinion is it no it is no. Both of those are ridiculous. Ridiculous. I mean, it's ridiculous. Should we start with hard? The hard one's impossible. That's impossible.

I don't think it's that hard. But we can tell people how warm they are. All right. It is. It's so stupid. All right. So the hard is, the answer is. Wait, very hard is not an opinion, right?

No. Not really. No, I think it is his opinion. It is. All right, the hard one is, the answer is 12 and a half inches. 12 and a half inches. We're looking for the question for 12 and a half inches. I actually don't think anyone's ever going to get it.

This might be the 12-hour stream. And this is a live show, but if you're watching weeks in the future, still give Lucas a call. Hey, the answer is 12 and a half inches. Favorite size of Subway sandwich. Nope. They don't do that. It would have to be. You asked for an extra half inch.

That would be my favorite. I'll have a foot long with an extra half inch. If you get a half inch of another sandwich, like a sample. They're never going to get this. I have faith. That was cold, by the way. The answer is 12 and a half inches. Biggest dick he's taken.

I have no clue. Okay. Good answer. We'll probably get that answer a lot. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, this guy. What the fuck?

That guy couldn't have given a fuck less. Yeah, I don't care. Leave me alone. Stop calling. Yeah. What do you want? Hello? You're not actually betting Bears under six and a half wins, are you, piece of shit?

Focus, Big Cat. Focus. You don't believe that. Big Cat, focus. All right, the answer's 12. Oh, fuck. He's your enemy now. Yeah, I just saw that text.

I was like, no way. Feisty. This answer is preposterous. Preposterous. I don't know if that's how you actually... Puh. Puh. Prosterous. What was that? Prosterous. Pruh. There's an R. Preposterous. I don't know if that's how you actually... Prosterous. Preposterous.

The answer is 12 and a half inches. The length of a football? No. Yeah, but that wouldn't be his opinion. Yeah, remember... We gotta help these guys out. Football was warm. Football was warm. Warm-ish.

Is a football one foot? Wait. What? No. No way. Can't be called a football for that. Is that why it's called it? What the fuck?

No. No, we got to take measure of football now. Look it up, Lucas. No, no, no. No, this would fuck me up. This changes everything. Changes literally everything. Look it up, Lucas. No, this would fuck me up. It changes everything. It changes literally everything. Look what up? What's the length of a football?

An NFL football. Oh my god. No. No. Oh my god. It can't be. No, it can't be. Nine something. Is that eight? I feel like it's ten. Ten inches. No, but it might. Crisis averted. My gut said 10 Who looked it up?

No one Lucas I looked it up Oh what did it say? Right there Okay Alright Thank god

I mean that's pretty close It's pretty close but it's not there Yeah it's not a foot Was the original football a foot? Alright Sorry man Sorry sorry I don't want to ruin the game you love

This person says they know Che's brain football of foot? All right. Sorry, man. Sorry. Sorry. I don't want to ruin the game you love. This person says they know Chase brain. They don't know this. If they get this, I'm going to, I'm going to offer him a full week. I'll from Chase office. The answer is 12 and a half inches. I'm going to go with the ideal hand size for an NFL quarterback. No.

That is knowing Che well. But that's like – that doesn't mean you know Che's brain. That means you know like the presenting of Che's brain. That doesn't – Inner workings. Yeah, there's no way that that's actually – But that was colder than the last one. Yeah. Okay. Let's see his brain is so disturbing

hello whoa yeah are you oh my god are you a girl i am and i'm watching live and i was gonna say nfline hand size, so I don't know what to say now. You get another answer. Is that warm? We can't do hints. The best guess so far was football. Also, hey.

Hey. Favorite size of popsicle. Okay, favorite size popsicle. That's wrong. That's a big-ass popsicle. Lucas says sup. Soulja Boy popsicle. That's wrong. That's a big ass pop. Lucas says sup. Soulja Boy pop. Lucas says sup. Wait, what's your name?

I don't want to give it. I know people that watch the show. Wait. You didn't embarrass me. Oh, well then why did you text Lucas? Alright, I'm gonna save her number. Hot sounding girl for you, Lucas. Do we think Che already knew this or he measured for this reason?

Lady Yakers, I love you. I think he measured for this reason. I think he knew it. I think he might have known it. I mean, she texted the phone. So did a lot of dudes. Yeah, but they'll give their name. We're not moaning in the voice recorder.

You don't know. There might be a not moaning in the voice recorder you don't know there might be a woman moaning on lucas's phone there's no it has to be a wrong number i say this lucas oh i thought this was titus your call has been forwarded to uh go ahead and leave oh that's a chick too at the tone please record you're just giving me a hint. Just say fuck you. Hey, the answer is 12 and a half inches. Perfect. Okay.

I do not think anyone's getting this. Kyle, you agree? No, I know somebody will get it. How? The answer is know somebody will get it. How? The answer is 12 and a half inches. Average paint job on the goal line. No. Remember, this pertains to Steven.

Steven. It's Steven. Why on earth would anybody know this pertains to Steven? We're going to tell them. What? Nobody would ever think this when it comes to Steven We're gonna tell them What? Nobody would ever think this When it comes to Steven Well no one ever thought golf What do you mean?

And Nick was here today Think of Nick Think of Nick I believe I believe someone's getting this I have no I have no I think there's no chance

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I think I'd set the line at like 21 and a half more guesses. Yeah. It's going to need someone close and then a reaction. Yeah. Hello. Oh, hello.

Hi. Hi. Lady Yakker. Hey. Answer is 12 and a half. Hi, Kate. Love Kate. Shout out, Kate.

She's in the bathroom. She's in the bathroom. So when she gets back, we'll let her know. Answer is 12 and a half inches. The most snow that Steven has seen on Christmas morning. Oh, I mean, that's actually a good guess. It's not a good guess that it's close. It's just a good guess because that's something so random he would guess it.

And I couldn't think for football. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you. See ya. Kate, this woman likes you. Kate, some chick just called in and said she hates your guts.

So she'd do a better job. Some girl called in and she's like, I hate Kate. Yeah. Replace me with Kate. I don't believe it. No, it was actually a girl. Solidarity. She said, tell Kate I love her.

Shout out, Kate. I love her. Swear to God. Hello. Thought you were in the bathroom. Hell yeah. Now it's my turn to be weird. That's awesome.

She's into me. Are you going to say it back? I love you were in the bathroom Hell yeah Now it's my turn to be weird That's awesome She's into me Are you gonna say it back? I love you too The answer's 12 and a half inches Body armor and bottle length Those are facts Okay so here's the That's a fact That's a fact

These answers This answer pertains to Stephen Chay's personal preferences Experiences or possessions Yes Good good good good, good. That is the parameter. Kyle, really well said. Thanks. And your shirt's great too.

Marine layer, and they got the yogurt-eating white boys acting spick and span. These are small, but I have issues. How long were you waiting? I know. It's like... I felt your notes app get... I needed someone to bring up my shirt.

Say it again. I got you, dude. No. Say the line again. They got the yogurt-eating white boys looking spickles. Actin' brand new. Beautiful. Thanks.

I can see in my head the yogurt-eating white boys. Yeah. Chobanis. Oh. What, any flavor? No, I think that's a... No, I know, but any flavor of Chobani. Call white boys Chobanis. Oh, you do? I, I think that's a... No, I know, but any flavor of Chobani.

Call white boys Chobanis. Oh, you do? I'm just trying to. Getting started? Trying to get a start. I fucking love it. Yeah, it's a bunch of Chobanis. Malasek's a Chobani.

He's a Chobani. It's for very white boys. Yeah, it's Malasek. Would he be a Chobani? We got a lot of Chobanis. Malasek is a Chobani. Ebo. I'm low-key not.

No. Go through the office. Malasek. Nick, you're not. Call him a Chobani to his face. Call him a Chobani to his face. Quiggs? No. Quiggs isn't.

No, he's not. He's too freaky with the bets. Yeah. I don't think I am. Hey, Kyle, I wanted to tell you something real quick. You're a Chobani. You're a Chobani. Chobani, huh? You're a Chobani. Alright, that was

underwhelming. You didn't like it? You're a Chobani. Sit down. Thoughts? I mean, I know it's a yogurt. That's all I got. Is that like a... Yeah, how did you know it was a yogurt. That's all I got. Is that like a... Yeah, how did you know it was yogurt?

You Chobani. Yeah, it feels good. I like it, Kyle. Is that like a... You want to read an insult? It's used more casually. Casually, not as a derogatory. Is it like sub-Chibanis?

Or like, where are my Chobanis at? Yeah, something... No. Look at those Chobanis over there. That table's full of them. Chibronis? Yeah, that's what I... Chobanis at? Yeah, something. No. Look at those Chobanis over there. That table's full of them. Chobronis? Yeah, that's what I. Chobanis.

It sounds like a Chobroni. Would you change your group chat name to Chobanis? No. If I was in a group chat with. I've kind of done field in question. Okay. I got nothing good to say. Yeah.

All right. Thanks, Malasek. I'm'm jake malaseka behind the scenes guy at barstool sports and today's how i got called a chabon he had a good tiktok about uh stopping the goals yeah he did francis chabon yes right um no because he does a lot. Is it just Jake? What about Connor Griffin? No. He's too weird. Yeah.

You're thinking like vanilla yogurt. Yeah, like a vanilla-ass white dude who's boring and basic. Chief might be. Chief has Chobani-esque interests, like Chobani, I'd imagine. Yeah. I feel like if you work here, you can't be too Chobani. Yeah, especially. What's his name?

Blake. Wait, he's unfielding questions. Blake is no. He's not a Chobani? I feel like people could describe Barstool employees as a bunch of Chobanis, but I wouldn't. Well, you can gatekeep the word. You are...

I did invent it Let's get that on Urban Dictionary Chobanis I love that I don't think you like that we love that No I ruined it He regrets it

Yeah Answer's 12 and a half Answers What is the size of Chase's foot? No Again fact He regrets it. Yeah. Hey, answer's 12 and a half. Answers. What is the size of Chase's foot? No. Again, fact. Not freezing cold.

No. No, not freezing cold. Mm-mm. Not freezing cold at all. No, it's not freezing cold. It's kind of warm. I would say warm. Warm-ish. The answer is 12 and a half inches

The size of his baseball glove Oh my god There is no way Holy shit How the fuck did you get that dude I knew it Holy shit Who is that

What's your name Nick again John from Massachusetts Alright John So if you're ever in Chicago You have I'm going to take down your number come up with holy shit who is that what's your name nick again john from massachusetts all right john so if you're ever in chicago you have i'm going to take down your number of chay text you if you're ever in chicago you you come and do the gauntlet all right man sounds good all right thank you john holy shit oh john is wicked smart what else is john unbelievable john Wicked smart. What else does John know? Unbelievable. John. John for full time. Let's get it trending. John.

The answer was the length of Che's baseball. If you played baseball, you were familiar with the size of your glove. But Che did not. He doesn't. I know. That's weird. He doesn't play baseball. That part's weird.

That's the part that throws you off. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a... I did not think we were going to get this next one. We're never going to get it. No, this is insane. Actually, no.

This one we could get. Okay. I don't remember. The next one is... The answer is waist high. We're looking for an exact question. I kind of got beef with the verbiage there. Waist high. We're looking for an exact question. I kind of got beef with the verbiage there. Waist high.

We'll let that marinate for the people watching right now. Waist high. By the way, pardon my cheesesteak, football is finally back, and ordering pardon my cheesesteak for your game day meal or late night eats is the best play call you can make. Pardon my cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks and loaded fries delivered right to your doorstep.

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Lucas, how about the Pirates, bud? They fucking suck. Yeah. They were up 10-3 in the seventh. I was excited to go to the games. They lost 14-10. I was excited to go to the games at Wrigley, and they're just bad. The Cubs might be back.

Yeah, they made Livvy mad. Livvy tweeted her. She might be done. She tweeted about it. She might force Paul out made Livvy mad. Livvy tweeted her. She might be done. Tweeted about it. She might force Paul out of town. They lost Livvy Dunn. So they lost Paul? Yeah.

I mean, Paul follows where Livvy goes. What did they do wrong to Paul? Just play bad? Yeah. They're putting in a closer. That's awful. He started. Cubs were down 10-3.

They won 14-10. Oh, yeah. That would piss me off. Yeah. How are the Orioles doing? They're going to make the playoffs. They're either in second by a couple games

or possibly first. Are the Brewers doing well? The Brewers are outstanding. Would you go to a playoff game? I'd love to, yeah. Is that your team? I think so yeah More than the Braves I think I think I'm just

Becoming a Milwaukee guy The Orioles are One game back From the Yankees In the east I dislike the Braves They have a monopoly On the entirety of the south

The southeast When there's a lot of So much Yeah They have the most Baseball fans It's like the Broncos In the west

Oh yeah Yeah Like if you're from Montana, Idaho Like anywhere out there. A lot more people in Tennessee than the Southeast, though. Yeah, like, the Southeast is really populated. Right? Tennessee deserves a team.

Nashville. That's what people say. What did you stare at me for? You're right. Why are you hollering? I was just naming states. Oh, name some states. I didn't holler.

You hollered a little bit with your eyes. Yes, Tennessee needs a team. Nashville. I bet you they'll get one within the next 10 years. Charlotte or Nashville. Jerry Reinsdorf's threatening to go there. Yeah? Yeah.

Let's get a new stadium. You think Austin will get any professional team? Too hot. But Houston and Dallas and San Antonio. Phoenix? It's not as hot. And Houston? That's not as hot. And Houston? That seems erroneous.

I'm shocked Austin doesn't already. I don't know. They have an FC. Like, loyalty scene. It's like transplants. It's, like, so hard to just make a new team now, it seems. Like, how do you get fans? They got something better.

They got Rogan. Yeah, they do. That's their pro team. It's, like, the longest we do. That's their pro team. It's like the longest we've gone without making new pro teams. I know we just had the Seattle Kraken,

but back in the 80s, 90s, we were cranking them out. I mean, teams have changed cities. Yeah, but we haven't created a, I guess we created the Kraken. Yeah, I mean, it was fun

when like the Panthers and Jaguars. Let's make a new team. The Rockies. Why don't they? Is there like a cast? The Diamondbacks. That was fun.

They've kind of reached. Because they move around instead of just making a new one. Do you guys want more teams? I don't they? Is there like a cast? That was fun. They've kind of reached. Because they move around instead of just making a new one. You guys want more teams? I don't know. I do. It's fun to make it. It's fun to have a new team. Not in the NFL.

No. I think we're in perfect amount. 32's just right? 32's just right. I could take two more baseball teams. I could take two more NBA teams. Yeah, I could. Yeah.

I could handle two more. Seattle. You know what? I can handle two more NFL teams. No. Fuck it. I could handle two more. You know what? I can handle two more NFL teams. No. Fuck it. 34 would fuck everything up. Where would you want to put an NBA team? Another Canadian team? Well, Seattle's got to get one. Seattle's got to get one

and Las Vegas will probably get one. Atlanta should have two. Yeah, they should. Atlanta should have four or five. Can you put two more on the West Coast? Atlanta has five NBA teams. I think there should be a clear divide between new jersey and new york because i think new jersey has so much like culture cultural identity yeah pride but yeah they need their own team are all the fans there too entrenched as yankees i think

they are and nicks all that yeah i don't know if it has new jersey on it i think they're proud of it yeah you can get yeah there's as many r Rangers fans in Jersey as there are Devils fans. Well, I don't know. The Devils have a good history. It's kind of like the Islanders. I liked it. Long Islanders. Long Islanders. Yeah. Long Island, New York City, and Jersey. Yeah, I'd agree with that.

Yeah, you could weaponize the Italians, and they'd get behind a football team. Because Jersey, what do they have? They don't have a college team. They have the Devils. The Devils. No, okay. And they have the NFL teams that say they're from New York. But not really. Yeah.

But, yeah. But, no. But, yeah. Right. Yeah, the only New York football team is the Bills. Yeah, you can't go to a football game in New York City. The Jersey Giants sounds sick. Yeah, it does.

Yeah, it does. Are they going to share a stadium forever? Yeah. Probably. Oh. sick. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. Are they going to share a stadium forever? Yeah. Probably. Oh. Yeah. Not a lot of places to put one, right? Everything's all growed up.

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So the answer is waist high. Waist high. Waist high. Good luck, folks. Waist high. I thought we'd be here all day for baseball. I did too. Operator.

The answer is waist high I think they forfeit Favorite Perfect height for hot tub water Nope Pretty good guess For hot tub water But not a crazy guess

Like that wasn't freezing cold Sort of But it also is Well yeah It isn't Yeah it's not freezing cold. I'm going to say over under 10. The answer is waist high.

The depth of water in Che's house when it flooded. What's that one? That was good. We don't talk about that enough. and we talked about it a lot we did i don't know yeah i don't know che bought a house and like was flexing on all of us being like i got a great deal because it's in a flood zone but they said it's a 100 year flood and then within six months there was a hundred year completely demolished his basement oh

that's perfect it was it was one of the I think we had what we had a hurricane yes yeah in New York and yeah he was so high he's like got a great fucking deal for a hundred years but was he even fazed by it or was he like oh now I had no I have another hundred years he was just frustrated.

I mean, the Coast Guard had to come and pick him up. Yeah. That might not have happened. Somebody got him in a boat, right? I like that, yeah. I can't remember if someone picked him up in a boat. 100-year flood. 100-year flood.

It was so pumped. It was like, great deal. Never going to happen. Yo. The answer is waist high. What is Shay's ideal height for his dog? No. That's a big dog.

That's a huge dog. There were some good words there, though. That's a huge dog. The boys are getting it. And girls. Thank you. Not that boys are getting it. And girls. Thank you. I doubt the girls get it. I bet your girl gets this one.

It's not a recipe. You're fat. You shut up. Stupid bitch. I can't stand you. The answer is favorite pet height. No.

We just had that one. Thank you, though. That's a delay. Pet height? Pet height. How big are these pets? Well, that could have been any pet. Waist high is...

That could have been a cow. Dog head comes up to waist high. Golden retriever. Probably golden. German shepherd. Oh. That's a big dog. He has a big dog, dude.

Brandon's a big bitch. You have a high waist. He do. What about mine? I think you're leggy for your build. You're more leg than torso, I guess. What's up? The answer is waist high.

The ideal height to eat pussy. Okay. Good answer. That's where the pussy is. That is where it is. Again, some good words. Yeah, yeah. What are we at, like six?

This might be under ten. That's what I'm thinking. Wait, how could you? Seth here. The answer is waist'm thinking. How could you? Seth here. The answer is waist high, Seth. The height. What is the height of Stephen Che's bed? Oh.

Hot. Would that be a high? No, that'd be a... That's a good height. That's a standard. Between warm and hot. That's a good height. That's pretty good.

You guys have high beds or low beds? You got a low bed. I have an average height bed. I think mine's average too. All right, that was good bed talk. Yeah. That was bed talk. Mine's on my shins.

Danny, what are you sleeping on? Mine's on the floor. Do you have any pizzazz on your wall? Oh, guys. Hello? The answer is waist high. Is it Steven's preferred height for a high-top chair? No.

That is, I would say, hot. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Hot. Ruling of hot? I think it's hot. Yes, I'd say hot. Hot-ish?

I'd say just straight hot. What else would be hot yeah right i think it's really hot i don't think it's that hot i think it's really fucking hot sorry it's not like parasol that's so hot that's hot somebody recommended we buy clemmer a purple tuxedo to wear and try to buy it. I'm a bit of a collector. What a nice hat you have. The homeless version of Willy Wonka. How did you get that?

Or just Beetlejuice. Whoa. Hey. Lady Yakker again. It's Greta fromice. Whoa. Hey. Lady Yakker again. It's Greta from yesterday. Oh, yesterday. All right. Waist high.

Waist high. I'm going to go with cheese. Ideal bed height for fucking. Oh, no. We just had that one. You're on a delay. All right. Thanks, Greta. We'll probably call you tomorrow.

That's my fuck height. 12 and a half. Waist, yeah. Pulling out a tape measure. Sorry, I can't fuck here. Propping her up on like the Yellow Pages books. Steven definitely fucks in his cleats. I think we've talked about that.

Oh, yeah. Doesn't he? The cleats stay on. Runs out of a tunnel. Jack from Kansas City. Jack, the answer is waist high. Stephen Shea's preferred countertop height. No.

I think I like a little higher. I definitely like a little higher. Yeah, I like higher. I'm naval, man. All right. Hello? The answer is waist high. Chase prefer bed stand height.

Oh. Bed heavy. Not as hot. That's why I thought you guys, when you said so hot. Well, we said so hot. We said so hot to bed. High top chair. Yeah, bed heavy. Not as hot. That's why I thought you guys, when you said so hot. Well, we said so hot. We didn't say so hot to bed. High top chair. Yeah, I still disagree with that.

See, I think the thing thrown off, it's not exactly an opinion. This is like a weird. Some guy sent balls. His? Yeah. Be below. Aye, aye, aye. You got balls. You got balls.

You got balls in here, Lucas. Oh, Lucas. You got fucking balls in here? What the fuck? The answer is waist high. Steven's ideal bike seat height. Yes! Hell yes. What's your name? Mike. Honey. Yes! Hell yes.

What's your name? Mike. Mike. All right, Mike, I'm going to take down your number. Steven will text you. Anytime you're in Chicago, you get to do the gauntlet. Hell yeah, man. I'm in Detroit.

I might have to make a trip in the next week or so. All right. Love it. Thanks, Mike. Appreciate it. Thanks, guys. All right, see ya. Hell yeah.

Way to go, Mike. That was awesome. I thought that was going to take see you. Hell yeah. Way to go, Mike. That was awesome. I thought that was going to take way longer. It's not quite an opinion. They're getting better at the game. Yeah. People are getting... We could be giving people hive mind.

Oh, boy. We're turning people into Che. Yep. We got to sell this board game. Yeah. Oh. It's just a box you open up and it has Lucas's number. Wait, can we do a, can Che?

We should do that. It's just a Che board game. It's like 500 cards. No, it doesn't even have the board game. 500 cards of Jeopardy. Wow, yeah. We could absolutely sell that. And Lucas's number as a lifeline.

Lucas, so you're not changing your phone number no probably not that feels like way more of a hassle I agree than 3000 texts a day buy through it Lucas I'd rather not be able to use my phone it's going to die down eventually

when I'm not here and then at random times you're going to get groans in your voicemail. Yeah. No, I'm going to spend the weekend blocking some people or block all of them. Don't block them, pussy. The first. You blocked me on Twitter.

You blocked Lucas on Twitter? What? When? Why? Last week. Why? Because he was being an emotional little college football fan. I wasn't going to have it.

I was tweeting. That's what you are. I know. I was tweeting observations about Florida it. I was tweeting. That's what you are. I know. I was tweeting observations about Florida State. And he said, stop talking about Florida State. I said, listen, there's only one way off this ride, buddy. Oh, man. Lucas, what, wait, why is Barstool trending?

What'd you do, Lucas? Click on it. Is it because of the Kirk Minahan solving the, because that's huge. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, murder solving should be good. Oh, words. Okay, alright, we're good.

Did y'all see that dog? No. Whoa, no, let me see the dog. Shohei Otani's dog threw out the first pitch. What? What? Shohei Otani's dog decoyed throughout the first pitch. There he goes. Watch how good he is. Oh. He walked out there by himself, brought it in.

Wow. That's incredible. Then he hit a home run in the first inning. And then he gave him a high five. And you think Aaron Judge is better than this guy. Yeah, he's having a better season. No, he's not. He's not a better player.

He's having a better season. Aaron Judge is having a top five season of our lifetime. No, he's not. Yes, he is. Show him how tight he can do something he's never been done before. He might do something he's never been done before. Nick, that's the kind of dog I think you should get. I like that kind of dog. That's a great dog.

A Japanese dog? A Japanese dog would be sick. It's not too big, but it's bigger presenting. Okay. It looks like a dog. You should steal Shohei Ohtani's dog. I want Shohei's dog. That might be a decoy, though. Wait, that's his name? Fuck!

Yeah, that ruined everything. I want a Japanese dog that plays baseball. Yeah. Not too much to ask. No. Japanese dogs love going to the plate. No. Yeah. Not too much to ask. Japanese dogs love going to the plate. Saying that when Che's not around. Getting comfortable.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go home now. Going to the plate. What else we got? I miss Steven, man. Yeah. No, he might be the glue guy.

He is. He might be our glue guy. I think, take no offense, I think he's the star of the program. I agree. That's no offense at all. He is. He is the glue guy of this show. Yeah, it's just like... He's a star and glue guy of this show Yeah it's just like

He's a star and glue guy He's like the puppet master behind the glass And just watches us his little pets Do his bidding Well you know what it is If you're ever bored You can just say a sentence to Stephen Che And what you get back will give you entertainment

And you don't have to put thought into it You like mac and cheese Steve The noodles and cheese? Yeah, Steve. I had an incident once. Then it's just... Then three hours fly by. He's basically like... He's like a human Instagram

story where you can just mindlessly scroll. Yeah. I don't like this. Yeah. Alright, next one. And he just gives you... He gives you some form of entertainment constantly. I think about the poop that fell out of his butt all the time. And he didn't know this. Yeah. All right. Next one. And he just gives you some form of entertainment constantly. I think about the poop that fell out of his butt all the time. And he didn't know he did it. And he didn't know it.

Yeah, that's the one. I think about it. It just comes across my mind. I had too much lobster. Spoiled lobster. Spoiled lobster. His dad got on sale. And a turd just fell out of his ass.

Clean. I think about that a lot. Sprinting to his car, he realized he didn't have to poop anymore. I think we can chalk that one up under a lie. It's like 10 lies. Brandon? Hey.

What's the matter, bud? What happened? I got hammered at Bible study last night. Oh, no. And you don't drink. No. I got fucking wasted.

What was that video? Don't, don't. No, I shouldn't. My bad. And you can't make it up. What was that video? My mistake. Sorry.

I take it back. I retract. You cannot make that up. When you drink something with alcohol, you know there's alcohol. Immediately. Immediately. But you know when you really, your brain is really expecting one thing? Then you know even more.

Then you know even more. But the product was like a fizzy, and they do make certain drinks that are cool. But the cans are very different. Are they? Yes. I'm pretty sure the spiked ones are long and slender. Yeah, if there's even the slightest hunch, you got to check. Yeah.

If you know they make both alcoholic and not. I've never. But I wouldn't expect it at Bible study. I've never heard of the drink. Why was the Bible study part? Really overlooking that part. Yeah. It's like, how does Mincy make Bible study by himself?

Because you know he does. Oh, he does. The rounds were done this morning. I guess he did turn... One and a half million. One and a half million views. I was resurrected at Barstool once. I guess he technically did turn water into wine.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. By just drinking a drink. In a way. Just touching the can. Yeah, he's Jesus. My God, he might be. Do you think people would disavow religion?

If they found out mensage. Yeah, if he was the second coming. They'd reevaluate. They'd disavow. Like there would just be a mass exodus of the church. Oh yeah, it'd be nuclear hedonism. I'd be surprised. This is what we've been waiting for?

I was worshipping that? Fuck. They were just ripping their crosses off their neck. Bullshit. Oh man. You want to do the high noon ad read? Yeah, I sure do. The best.

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Noon. Brandon and I can't say it. Noon. You can't say the time? Nope. I haven't. It's 1't say the time nope I haven't it's 139 thank you Brandon

I defended you today on the college football show I want credit for that so the Clemmer's in surviving Barstool now Brandon Walker's not in that motherfucking Dave

but yeah you did defend me on the college football show a little bit i would say a lot more so than you normally do but you did ride along for the fuck the shit on brandon walker ride for a little bit and then you stopped it i enjoyed the view yeah you you like the ride occasionally oh it's the best yeah it's my favorite ride at the amusement park shit on brandon walker ride would you would you do surviving if asked now or is it too late oh i Oh, it's the best. Yeah. It's my favorite ride at the amusement park. Shit on Brandon Walker ride. Would you do surviving if asked now or is it too late? No, I would not. Liar.

Yeah, you would. I would 100% no. Yeah, you would. No, no, no. I would not. Isn't this really 250 grand? Yeah, here's the thing. This has nothing to do with Dave's decision or whatever because I think Dave made a stupid

decision at first. I couldn't win. I disagree at first. I couldn't win. I disagree. No, I could not win. I disagree. He's right. He's right. If you played a great game, I think you'd win.

No chance. I would be one of the first one or two out. I don't have enough allies to win. No, but the people who get kicked out first are people who are threatening. No, I think that's middle. First is just bad hangs. Oh. That's bad, isn't it?

Yeah. I would go out in the Nate tier. Shit. No, I think you could win. Shit. What? What he said. Well, who said?

Oh. First. Okay. Oh, fuck. Got out first. I forgot. You weren't in it. You weren't in it.

Yeah. I think the real show starts episode two. Are you into the deathly afraid of them being like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if we voted him out first again? Because you would do that to somebody. Yes. Yeah. You were like DNP.

Like, you didn't get any minutes. No, I was in it for like two hours. I don't think you strategized well enough. Of course not. I was out in two hours. That's a dead giveaway right there You didn't strategize well enough You've been already playing the game

Since you've been eliminated from the last one No I actually haven't Because I played the game too much The first one I think there's a PMT busting alliance PMT's not in this Just you? Just you?

Yeah So wrong on all accounts and it's happening here this time oh you're lone wolf i am i heard some calls last night there's people scheming already yes yeah but that's what i did last time and it fucked me like i went in last time with these alliances and then i got you have no excuse to get voted out first. Just create an alliance. You create it. Help people there. That's what I thought I did

last time. You were just outnumbered. You need to build up your arm. I think I need to. I think my only strategy is to just hope that people forget I'm in the game for the first day. Yeah, act like you're just here. Yeah, just do my job and just be like, what? Hey, good luck, guys.

Yeah, have fun out there. That's a good strategy. It makes people like you're the host. Hide, yeah. I'll be the rules official. Yeah. Whoops, I forgot I'm in the game. Ultimate strat.

Yeah, it's going to hurt me not doing the yak that week. You can't do yak? I don't think so. I didn't do the yak last time. can't do yak i don't think so i think they've did i not do i didn't do the act last time but you were in new york right but we're out here weren't we out here doing it yeah no yeah right we're in the transition oh yeah we were oh you're right yeah so you could be well i guess you probably you were people are doing normal daily shows right yeah but dave was like doesn't want to do live stuff i guess i'll have to see i mean i would love to do the yak but i don't know

if people will then be like oh he looks like he hasn't showered or oh he's wearing the same thing they'll look for that and then they blame me for spoilers like i'm just not that they came up with on their own right that they created that's that's those no spoiler people are the worst you can't do that yeah they do it for the dozen all the time like oh you said that you're you're free tonight what yeah what's that mean what does that mean you said you were with this person you said you won 12 to 9 yeah yeah although whenever someone does the fake score i always kind of buy it. I do it every time I play.

Yeah. Well, when someone's like, oh, already been spoiled, this team won 15 to 10. Yeah. Wait, did they? They get me every time. Yeah. I think that results only happen once. Yeah.

Every single time. That's like Elio, Dave's friend. My friend, too. What was that vein? What vein you got? You got a vein caught on camera? You got an arm vein? It's popping. My friend, too. What was that vein, then? What vein you got? You got a vein caught on camera? I got an arm vein.

It's popping out. No. No, did I miss it? Shit. Or was it? I think you're seeing things. There's nothing better than catching a vein. There was a vein a second ago. All right.

You're getting so skinny, you have veins? That's what I thought. I thought I saw a vein. Maybe I didn't see a vein. Maybe you... Oh, there it is. Where? Where? Where? Wait.

No, that's the mic shadow. Oh. Damn. Wait, no. Look. It's right there. Yeah. Oh, wow. Dude.

Yeah, right? Are you going to make a pic? Found it. Yeah, get a pic. Snap that. Is it in real life or only on camera? No, I can see it from across the room. Slowly. Slowly.

I don't see it yet. Oh, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. You got those varicose veins coming in. You can't see it on camera. You can't see it on the camera. Hold on. I'll just take a picture of the TV screen.

That's devastating. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Everything's falling apart. Come on, Brandon. You ready? Come on, Pa. I don my God. Oh, no. Everything's falling apart. Come on, Brandon. You ready? Come on, Pa. I don't...

Come on, Pa. I can't see it anymore. Oh, it's gone. Wait, wait. There it is. Wait, that looks like an unhealthy vein. Yeah, there's three lumps in it. Three distinct...

Do you see that, Danny? Oh, is that cancer? Danny, there are... Do you see? Yeah, those are just varicose veins. Oh, Brandon, yeah. Brandon, you should get that checked out. That's your custard blood.

That's literally Chick-fil-A sauce. Your blood is the consistency of fart putty. 163. No. 163. Okay. Nice job. Thanks. Ready for college football so ready who's streaming on saturday uh i am

you're gonna try stop by i'm gonna stop by probably for clemson nick is on the fence uh yeah for west virginia penn state uh megan will be here west virginia penn state clemson georgia same time uh yes somebody Somebody fucking told Mets. Let's see. So we'll just do the first game. We'll do the first game, and then, yeah, we'll go from there. Yeah. We're not going to do the night game.

No. After the first window, there's only, like, one good game per window. Yeah, so first game will be fun. Yeah. I'm excited. Yep. Today we're doing a new untold sub oh yes 4 o'clock

love it 4 o'clock you guys are going live how long are you guys going to stay live until we hit a certain number for a certain website what's the number we can't say that either a number a round number

we're going to fill up a crossword puzzle without looking at the clues. We just have to put in words that fit. This is exciting for us. Yes. No clue? Well, it doesn't have to be right. We just have to fill out the grid with things that make sense. Oh.

I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. We got video games on deck. Mm-hmm. Some booze. What video games? A Japanese rhythm game called Rhythm Heaven. Yeah. I like that a lot. We got video games on deck. Mm-hmm. Some booze. What video games? A Japanese rhythm game called Rhythm Heaven.

Why did I ask? Ugh. Okay, well, everyone tune in. Four o'clock. Four o'clock? Four o'clock. We're doing it at four o'clock? I didn't realize it was that.

Yeah. What did you guys think? I'm fine with that. I'm fine with four. And what number are you going for? Are you going for a specific number? Yes. But we can't. No, we're not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just tune in. Tune in. Tune in. Four o'clock. And subscribe to us on all platforms. Yes. I was thinking about numerical milestones

the other day. Yeah. I think we should celebrate your one 10,000th day alive. Oh, my friends actually sent a text when one of us is 10,000. That's a 27 and four month year old. Oh no, then it wasn't 10,000. Nevermind. Fuck.

Missed it. You missed yours, Mook. Yeah. Oh yeah. Happy belated 10,000th day. I think that's more impressive than just 27 years for sure yeah

yeah milestones of age should be by days not only just the random day you were born I think it should be after 30 though

because you kind of look forward to 21 30 could be a milestone after that you need something to look forward to yeah

I think 20,000 that would yeah it's 54 54 years old yeah that's pretty cool yeah yeah are we at the yaks 50 000th minute yet oh dear how many minutes we got i lost count. Probably got a good amount of minutes. We have minutes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, we should figure out. How many episodes with the yak have there been?

YouTube, I think 800 plus. We should do something for the thousandth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got to get someone on that. will figure that out let's do a case race for the thousandth yeah yes thousand beers one thousand beers how many people would we need 90 a thousand just dana just dana text lucas if you want to be part of it. Yeah, that's sign-up sheet. Yeah.

1,000 beers. We would need like, yeah, 85 people. That would be hell. We just put everyone in a pen. No, 85 people in this room. 85 dudes. Yeah. It's just like you can't get out. Oh, that would. You can't get out. Yeah, what if we made a pen of a thousand beer cans and you can't get out until they drink your way you gotta

drink your way out of it that's interesting it's like a game of saw yeah it's a good idea but people would die oh for sure i'm not i'm not uh dying doing what you love though i'm not of the time yet to do another case race like my body is not ready for it i'm still i still have the trauma from the last one where i'm not if you told me let's do a case race i'd be like that sounds like a miserable idea there's a certain amount of time where it gets to where it's so far in the past we're like this is gonna rock about one every six months yeah no i said it's like it's it's so far in the past where we're like, this is going to rock. About one every six months? Yeah. I said it's similar to childbirth.

It's actually the exact same. You got to let the wounds heal. And then you're like, oh. It's no big deal. Kate, you're not? Are you pregnant? I need a little more time. Fuck no. No way. Fuck that. I don't think I'll... Right now I can't picture

a time where I want another case race. I'm still... It will come to us. Stomach bile till 9.30 the next night. Yeah. It will happen. Someone will say it and everyone will be like, yes. We should do case race week. We do one every day and just see what it does to the body.

I don't hate that. Oh god damn. Or you're just locked in it does to the body. I don't hate that. Oh, God damn it. Or you're just locked in the pen for a week. Yeah, see what it does to the body. All right, another one tomorrow. Shit. Yack supersized me. Yeah.

That supersized me guy was, he was just an alcoholic. God rest his soul. Yeah, I just heard that. Yeah, he like did it. The whole shoot. The whole movie, he went to like the doctor and the doctor was like yeah your liver is like severely damaged and he just didn't disclose the part that he was not oh that must be the mcdonald's yeah he's like damn it really did do that to me two weeks because then even in

the movie he found that guy who was like skinny and it was like 70 years old eating a big mac every day that guy is impressive yeah right he was his whole movie was like you proved it with this guy yeah he's fine drunk yeah he's starving did he have to drink in order to be able to take down mcdonald i don't know but he was it's very funny and i think i was reading something that yeah like i haven't watched a movie in forever but in the first week he was like after he would finish eating, he'd wake up and be like, oh, I've got like the shivers and like McDonald's. Like, dude, no, you're just not drinking. You're an alcoholic. You ever eat so much McDonald's you cheat on your wife?

Yeah, right. It's like I've been throwing up and I can't. I'm sweating everywhere. It's like, yeah, you're having alcohol withdrawal. This McDonald's is making me neglect my children. Yeah. Well, Brandon probably can say that's true. Now, the boat is what makes you neglect your children.

No, that's not a funny thing to start. Tommy. Oh, no, no. Tommy, that was funny. Tommy just needs to be ready to go at the drop of a hat. That's his fault. I haven't seen Tommy this week what?

you're having a Tommy-less week? so Tommy started school on Monday back to school and Tommy Tommy likes to sleep man and we get him up and we get him going and when he gets home he crashes out about 5 or 6 o'clock growth spurt?

probably and he just goes down and he sleeps 12-13 hours at a time and we get him going. And when he gets home, he crashes out about 5 or 6 o'clock. Growth spurt. Probably. Probably. And he just goes down, and he sleeps 12, 13 hours at a time. And by the time I get home, he's gone, and I wake up early, and I haven't seen him in three days. You're having a Tommy-less week. Well, he did call me yesterday. He said, Dad?

I said, yeah, what's up? He said the girl's name his little girlfriend he had back in uh jersey he said she wants to fly out to chicago you go with that and i said uh i said i said what he said yeah she wants to come out and i said well have you checked with her parents first and he said no we've checked with you first i said well i think her parents are going to be the bigger obstacle. Yeah. If they say yes, this is good parenting, by the way. If they say yes, we'll talk about it.

I mean, Tommy's flying girls. Flying girls out. Oh, I love it. Hey, did you ever find a $100 bill on him? Another one? Yeah. No. I gave him another one when we went to your house.

He's good. He keeps buying. He's buying a plane ticket. I took him to Best Buy the next weekend, and I didn't know where he got the money. What did he buy? I think he bought some gaming headphones and a Pokemon. Hell yes. Nice.

All right. It's me and Tommy's little thing. Whenever I see him, I just give him a $100 bill. Good deal for him. Yeah. When we went to your house just give him a $100 bill. Good deal for him. Yeah. When we went to your house, he came out to my car. He's like, you need help with anything? I was like, that was really nice of you, Tommy. There's $100?

Good boy, yeah. Yeah, I think he might have carried a shirt or something for me. So he earned it. All right, should we spin the wheel? Yep. Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel. Spin that wheel. All right.

All right. Oh! Corner Jamiroquai. I need it. Corner Jamiroquai would have been electric. Nobody's picking corn, right? I think I'd pick corn. I think I'm leaning jamiroquai.

So two weeks of straight corn or a year to eat jamiroquai? Definitely jamiroquai. No, it was two days. Two days of straight corn? Yeah, it was until you poop corn. Until your poop is all corn. Yeah. I'm curious.

We figured it would be a brown two days. Maybe it's more. Also, don't forget Clemmer in tomorrow. Because we would forget. I already did. Yep. Same. For what?

I don't know. Can we get him a purple tux by tomorrow? We need to make this a little bit harder. Yeah, he's going to show up and be be like What are you doing here dude Clemmer what the fuck We need a citizen app Purple man dresses the joker Yeah

Approaching On college campuses Human trafficking question mark Yeah Alright we'll see everyone tomorrow Bye Sabotage 4 It's the act Yeah it's time to talk shop Or do a Yankee swap

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