The Yak - KB is an Engaged Man | The Yak 11-10-25

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Jake Malasek is a changed manYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, YAC listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Three, two, one. Is it a YAC! You the robot. You're the broad. Yes, all the day. Oh, I see me a boy.

Are you still a yank? I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible Hello, it's the yak Hello, it's the yak, welcome in, rowback.com, promo code Yack, 20% off your first purchase, Cusips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, Kyle Bauer's back.

I missed the fuck out of this guy. Dean. I did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I have missed you? I don't know. We didn't have a single all-time episode without you. No.

No, we tried. I and Kate did not want us. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Our wings were clipped. Who else do we? Oh, the Listers guys.

You would love those guys. That was like half an all time. I'm saving that. Kate, everyone's telling me great documentary, great recommendation. It was. And Nick tried to fill in for you and hit them with niche stuff and it wasn't. They didn't give a shit. It didn't hit the same.

They didn't give a shit. It actually came across as uncomfortable and weird. Yeah, they were like mad at me. Nick's a bad, Kyle. I think it's kind of bad. That ran its course for me as well. But that's why you've got to keep going. Nah, I don't think you understand how this works.

We're all fucking monkeys in a cage and we're dancing. Where's the mayonnaise? So what's up? Good to see you. You're back. We've got a lot today. Today is the start of the gauntlet tournament week. So we're going to be doing gauntlets at the end of every episode to decide the winner of the playing.

No, the NBA, the yak cup. You got it. Yac cup. Yac cup. That thing right there? Mm-hmm. That cup right there? Oh, yeah, shit, it's right here.

Fucking idiot. It's beautiful. So, yeah, we're excited. It's huge. We do have an issue, though, because one of the playing matchups today was going to be Megan making money and Danny Conrad. Oh, dear. But that's an empty seat, Dan.

Conrad missed his flight. Now, when you say missed his flight I would like some clarification Because there is snow You mean that there was a flight Leaving an airport And it was up to him to make it to that airport And he did not do it

Can we get him to zoom in? Just stay for five more minutes Danny. Oh, babe, I don't want to leave Just stay for five more You have to go back To the yak Those guys don't actually like you

Yeah They pretend you don't even exist half the time they won't even know that you're gone we actually he probably shouldn't have text we could have just been like oh he's just not here I would have somebody was doing something

Danny what do you think? I would have assumed it was weather really I've never looked that directly why do you admit he said he missed his wife don't admit that why would you say that he's a I'm sick or like I just literally so easy a quarter of

the flights of the U.S. get canceled randomly. Yeah. Just say that. Yeah. I'm not fucked up and missed my... Why the accountability, Dan? That's too much accountability. And on a day, there's so much snow on the ground, he so easily could have gotten away with it.

Literally could have just... He could have just said nothing. And that would have been fine. Or he could have just said, not coming in today. That's it. Yep. Just... Hey, not coming in, got a thing.

How long could Danny have not been here before we said something? A while. But like, what an idiot? He just went out and admitted it. Or he should. shoving in our face that he's got a hot hot new love. Yeah. A hot new Sorry guys. Yeah, it was a subtle way

saying like the sex marathon really made me late. Yeah. Sorry guys. But we're about halfway through. But yeah, he's so he's out. So we're going to just move Megan on to the next round. And I also think I'm going to have to put some sanctions on Danny. And I think

it's going to come in the in the way of... Chastity belt. No, I think the next three weeks, Danny Conrad's wheel slices on Game of the Week, and he has to keep playing parley's and trying to win. The next three weeks, all of his wheel slices go to Chef Donnie. Wow. So that's just... He just heard.

I hear applause erupting. Which brings you my next point. We are going to have quite the wheel this week because I won 20 slices yesterday. This wheel is mine. We might need to start the wheel right now. 20 slices. I mean, it's over. So you get to play, you're already playing Puppet Master.

Yep. Now you get to play Puppet Master with all the cards. So the first thing I'm going to do, because we're not going to spin, obviously, the big wheel today, I would like to tell everyone in the office, you are welcome to come in at any moment on the yak and spin heads up, slice for slice. the only caveat is I get to decide when we stop going double or nothing so that's ever it could be never

I could run out of slices so can anybody come in and it's a wheel they could either yeah it's just me and that person's name and you just spin and whatever name it goes on look Dana just walked it oh Dana wants it

Dana wants it wow wow all right bold Dana I have 20 slices on the wheel this week so I'm I said that any person can walk in any point and go straight up trade slice for slice so like we'll spin a wheel if it lands on me i get their size if it lands on them they get one of my slices yeah you want to do it yeah all right here we go and here we go here we go so do you want it to land on you or do you want it to land on big cat i don't totally

understand it i'm not going to lie that's fine but i think this is good him right you want to land on big cat right yeah all right i think oh want to give me a slice you want you don't want to give me a slice I don't get it Do you have any slices I got one slice Okay Dana what's the downside of me Landing on big case

You can lose your slice Oh I don't care Let's fucking do it Exactly I'm gonna try to get 80 slices Yeah there is There is no real downside

To the people giving up One slice for the opportunity But the problem they don't see Is it's not possible Correct Right Right It's just a donation at this point

And he still doesn't I can just say it in front of me he's still not going to get it. No. I don't know. You could spell it all out. Right. You'd just be like, yeah, I'll still spend it.

Like, there's no winning for Dana at all. I could run out of slices. Well, can't I get two? Yeah, you could get a second one. You could get up to 20. I'd rather have two than one. You get up to 20. Yeah.

Double. You get all of his slices out. You could get all my slices. Are you okay? Are you with us? Fuck this thing out. A hard time. Right.

This thing is a mess. Yeah, let's do it. So Danny has sanctions. Those are. are his sanctions. What does that mean? He had to get, he just missed. He missed his. Oh, Danny. Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey, what I miss. Yeah. Yeah. You done with your sex? That had nothing to do with this. All right. I showed up to the airport. The flight, I didn't miss my flight. The flight actually left without me. I got here 10 minutes early. Yes, I got here 10 minutes before takeoff and they still said no. I tried bartering and everything. They still.

weren't having it, and now I'll probably be here until 7 p.m. tonight. You got there 10 minutes before the stated departure time? Correct. I severely underestimated New York traffic. We're glad you were honest with us. We really respected the honesty. But you didn't have to. I have integrity. I'm glad that you're glad, Kyle. I could have said that my flight got delayed. The government shut it down. I didn't. He's not really glad your life is over. You should have said that because admitting what actually happened was very stupid. The problem is, like, look at how happy he is right now. That's a man

who had sex 15 times. Oh, yeah. That's 48 hours. He just keeps sniffing his mustache. Yeah. You can't get him down. You know, as I was frantically rushing to the gate, I already knew that this was going to be the worst part of missing my play. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, Danny, what, what airport? JFK. And what time did you leave New York City? This morning, like, to get here? Yeah. uh like 645 and what i didn't what time was your flight nine o'clock and were you staying in a hotel

no no 645 for 9 o'clock that is kind of shitty that's not like that's tough that's not a yeah i know that's also it took rush hour it's so far it's so far should have done laguardia brother i know i know that's on me i know i was supposed to participate in the gauntlet But is Dana taking my spot? No, you're just being, Megan is just, is going to the next round. You should have just said, I can't make it in today and left it at that, Danny. That's what you should have done. But you guys would have been tracking my flights.

He would have been calling pilots. He's right. True. He's right. Danny, do you hear the other part of your sanctions? No, please tell. You have to give up your slices of the wheel for the next three weeks to Chef Donnie. What the fuck?

Yeah. All right. Yeah, I mean, that's just the rules. can't miss a flight you're right you're right i've never missed a plate i it's fair punishment fits the crime yeah i guess i guess i guess i'll just place impossible bets no no no no no no chef donnie gets final say on what bet you place next week you're giving up to the slice this week and then the next two weeks and he gets to because i knew you were going to do that you're going to do that you're going to try to go like a hundred to one that's not going to happen all right all right

fair okay okay all right that's it yeah yeah all right i guess we'll see you tomorrow who What time's your flight now? I'm on standby for a 3.45 flight. Oh, no. Oh, dude, that sucks. I have time to run back to the city, then. Yeah. Just head back.

Just one more kiss. One more kiss, Steve. The last one wasn't good enough. Have a great show. Maybe this is going to come back. I just want one more long embrace. Oh, my God. I wish you were here.

All right, good talking to you guys It's not about being in at the airport It's being without you Can I just buy you a cheap ticket You can come hang out at the airport Just get away Are you reading my text I'll be thinking about this weekend

For the rest of my life And I'm missing Dagan Day Yeah Danny be honest Have you sent the text To be honest babe, period worth it.

Yeah. Do it again. Yeah. Do it again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you said you text worth it. I said I hope I don't get on standby for this next flight, babe.

And here you. I didn't really say that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just stay an extra day. What the fuck? What does it matter? I'm definitely not. Like, how likely is it that I get on a stand?

my flight. I've never done this. Probably unlikely. The snow's done, so you're good weather-wise. Oh, it is good. Just book at 9 a.m. tomorrow and take it then. Or you could bank on a guy on the next flight sleeping with one of his co-workers in another city

and wanting to stay a little bit longer. All right, fingers crossed for that. All right, Danny, good to see you. See you, Danny. All right, you too. See you Wednesday. He's going to be there forever. What time's your guys fight today? I should be going. What is it, four, four-ish?

Yeah. I have to check a bag, too. That takes a longer. Also, the drive out there can't be easy right now. Can't be. No, it stops snowing. Yeah, it stops snowing, but the interstate's cleared completely. That was wet snow.

Because you guys, I showed. I mean, I felt like a man's man. I shoveled in like four seconds. I had the most hellest drive of all the time. Not as bad as. I couldn't drive. Not to. Well, actually, you know, you probably were as bad.

I couldn't drive over five miles an hour. Yeah, because I went home at 1 a.m. last night. It was bad. Really, there was the only car on the road. What time did you leave your house? I left my house at 3.45, and I got here at 5.30. Did you get any snow? Okay, so I left the house, and I was in about half-inch of snow.

And the further, the closer to the lake I got, the worst and worse it got. By the time I turned on the interstate, it was just white out. I don't know if you guys, like, fell into this algorithm, but it was, like, meteorology and weather geeks. it was their... Oh, yeah. Because it was a thunderstorms. The biggest dorks out there were just fucking... Apparently happens like once every five years.

I had a guy text me about it. Well, no, it was it was Lake Effect Snow on this side, which is a little different because it doesn't usually... I think it's more on the Michigan side. And it was like, if this... There was a, there was a forecast that I saw on Sunday morning that had Chicago anywhere from one to 20 inches. That's not a forecast. No. That is not what...

It's all the option. So they're like It just depends on where this band sits down It could be anywhere So you think weather guys dweeps Oh my gosh They're I mean I guess They're good dweeps

Yeah they're harmless They get a lot of action There's a damn near weather every day That's true In a way yeah Yeah But this one was special I guess And this can be 50 degrees on Wednesday

So it's all gonna be gone Are you a Max velocity guy What's everybody What does that mean You want to start Kate The YouTube especially with, like, tornadoes? No?

No. I don't know who that is. I follow some tornado guys, but I don't know him. Wait, was that the guy who was, like, in his tornado tracker up here, like, tracking the snow, I brought my girlfriend for the first time, and they were, like, hunkered down with all the laptops, but they were, like, tracking flurries here for the last couple of days. I don't think, I didn't follow whoever that is. But, like, tornado stuff, he's on the money.

He's, like, a real weather dude, but I think he's doing, like, his basement. Oh, his name's Max? I'm not sure, actually. I mean, it has to be, right? It's got to be. That is... He looks kind of like... Is his name Max Velocity?

That's his, like... His stage name? That would be so sick. Degrade meteorologist. There you go. By the way, happy birthday, Kate. Thank you. Oh, yeah.

Thank you for being the first and only. Wrong. Happy birthday, Kate. What the hell? You said happy birthday? Well, you... Thank you to you as well. I was before and said it.

You said it earlier? Yeah. You said it. I said it like... Happy birthday. the Marines. I said it at 11 a.m. Ah, shit. Well, not only then. Yeah, it's the Marines' birthday.

Oh, happy birthday. Marines love the Marines. They love to say happy birthday to each other. We're 250 years old today. Oh, wow. Yuck. That pussy's that. Yeah. Pretty gross.

250. Is there like a big thing they're doing for 250? And tomorrow's Veterans Day. From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli. T.J. You're going to stop her for copy? No, she has to finish where she started now. Anyway. How was Starkville?

It was wonderful. Nobody got bedbugs? Nobody got bed bugs. We had a few issues in Starkville. Security guys got bedbugs. Okay. But they... White boy Rick got bedbugs.

Okay. They stayed at a bad hotel. They chose to say that. He got bed bugs? It's fine. He's not here, is he? No, he is. And I get him out.

I know. Yeah, we told him. I told him it ruined your life. It's fine. He said he only washed his clothes, too, as soon as soon as he got home. Yeah. You need to do way more than that. Warm, you got to do cycles.

Would you guys like the good or bad from Starkville? Well, nobody got hate crime or anything. Yeah, right? Yeah, the bad was there was a Nazi. Could be anywhere. Is that worst case scenario? That was pretty close to it, yeah. So many people were apologizing for it, which is very nice.

Yeah, and southern accents, too. The thick southern accents is walking out. We're so sorry. Yeah. You're like, we just haven't had a chew in a long time. We didn't know how to act. Yeah, we got excited. I thought throwing pennies was what you're supposed to do.

I thought that's how you said hello. No, Suckville was awesome. Okay. Anthony was just great. Minus, there was a little girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs, and Brandon did nothing to stop it. What am I going to do? I can't go up to them people and say,

like, you should have done something. She was, and it wasn't like, it wasn't just constant screaming. It was every, like, six or seven minutes in a random interval. she would just scream and we were just all like what the fuck and she did it probably about 10 times and then she went outside and did it

how old like 10 was she maybe yeah yeah yeah and Brandon didn't do shit yeah she was there something going on she won't no no she was laughing when she did it that's not a 10 year old move yeah she was she was laughing like her parents were like

stop and then she'd laugh this was at a steakhouse at a steakhouse was she confined to like they got her out of her right Yeah, but then she got on the street and she started screaming on the street. Yeah, but I don't... She would come up to the window behind us and scream. Did she have her shoes on? Does she have equipment on?

Listen. Yeah, she had to have had gear. I could have easily gone no shoes at this place. Well, Brandon, there was a viral tweet of, like, you saying, like, you can't wear a t-shirt to a steakhouse. No, I was... Okay, I was in there. I had a jacket on over a t-shirt, and it was very hot in there, and I took the jacket off, and they took a picture of me eating there, and then the internet decided, I can't wear that to a steakhouse.

I can't wear that to a nice restaurant. And it is a good restaurant, but you can wear whatever you want. You had disposable plastic cups at your tape. Yeah, you can wear whatever you want. So the Internet tried to ruin my night, and they're not going to do it. It was a fantastic. Creole rib eye was great. Crawfish tails were great.

Gumbo was great. I got something Brandon never had gotten before. Oh, you got the beef tips. Yeah, they were so crazy. Damn. It was so good. It was insane. It was in the creole sauce.

Oh, my God. And then Starfle, we showed up, and I was very, nervous for like the hour before the show started the crowd didn't look big it looked very small and I was terrified and Dan and Dave were fucking with me the whole time it actually wasn't Dan and Dave and Casey

no you weren't involved with this Austin is uh really really good at his job I think most people know who Austin is Austin has now yeah like he when Dave is like busy doing stuff Austin can still bust balls like Dave Austin is Dave yeah yeah he literally

was just like me he was saying things Dave would say because Dave was busy with something and just driving Brandon insane. He was saying we're not going to do the full crowd shot. We're not going to do all this. But then the crowd filled in great. We have a fill in Dave now. Yeah. That's great. In terms of like, you know,

getting under Brandon's skin. Yeah. It was very funny to watch. Did a good job. But the crowd filled in great. The atmosphere was great. Game didn't go our way, but we were long gone about the time of game started. So aside from that one, incy. Aside from the little guy. And the little girl was. Who might have been a Nazi It might have been worse than the Nazi to be honest

I'd agree But it was good It was a fun time Did I tell you though So we stayed Dave and I stayed at the Baseball field Look cool Insane

Also shout out that like entire They packed the stands for an alumni game In the middle of November Yeah how'd you pitch I wasn't allowed to pitch What? Yeah What?

Brought my cleats Wasn't allowed to pitch You actually brought cleats? I did Oh no Didn't get to pitch Wow I like to pitch

Have you ever been told no like that the first time but again they were treating that alumni game like it was the World Series it was very important deal for those guys very serious also the outfield that in Starfield the stadium they just have personal areas where you can rent

you have your own grill full grill yeah in the outfield left field land look at oh that's wonder like people have their own set-ups it's basically their own living room in the outfield yeah I don't know if you can go down on the uh yeah go go down left that's called the

Yeah, feel loud. Look at that. That's like a full grill that guy has that he just goes to that spot every single time. It's awesome. Or Mississippians, are they big partiers or drinkers? Are they less inclined to imbibe? No, they're big partiers. You'll find the drinking not as, there's a lot more people that don't drink, but the ones who do drink, drink a lot.

Yeah. That's what I was wondering. But yeah, it was fun, and I liked it. I liked Starkville a lot. The one thing I didn't tell you, though, Brandon, was the, so we're staying at these apartments. People could obviously see, Dave and I watched some of the games, so I could see. us where we were staying. Dave went to bed at like 9 o'clock, and then

I think it was two or three times people came to our door. Knocked on the door? To try to get a picture with Dave. And I had to tell them at like 9.30 at night, I was like, hey, he's asleep. And it was to watch their faces. They're like, what do you mean? They didn't even want a

consolation prize? No, they took a picture with me as a consolation prize, but that was it. They were banging on your door? Yeah. Well, it was like, it's accessible, kind of. Apartments, yeah But to tell someone that their heroes Goes to bed at 9.30, that's got to imagine.

Brutal. I can't imagine Dave going to sleep. He sleeps. He always sleeps. Yeah, he sleeps now. He doesn't see. He's actually getting in bed, taking his pants off.

I can't picture that. Can you picture him in just underwear? No. I actually can't. Like pulling the covers all the way up to his chin? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He wears the sleepy time bear pajamas. He's a little hat. A little candle. He snores pushing up his nightcap. He blows out a candle to go. Yeah, it was a good trip.

Brendan, did you at any point walk by the stadium to triple check? I did. Not only did I walk by the stadium, but we could see that area of the stadium from the stage. And I kept, I looked up like. multiple times. Maybe they put it up now. Maybe they put it up. And I had somebody on boots on the ground check that night and it was

in fact a Photoshop. I'm happy we didn't stay for the game. I'm happy we didn't stay for the game too, especially because Georgia fans were complaining. They're weird. They're very needy people. They've got an inferiority complex that came from years of not winning the national title, so they haven't adjusted. Complaining about what? They were like, oh, you guys just talked

so much shit about Georgia. I think I talked maybe I said I picked Mississippi State in the game because we're in Starfall right and uh I just don't know like if I won two national championships in the last five years I wouldn't give a fuck what anyone said about my team yeah yeah like do you care if someone says that they don't like Ohio State um no right really no yeah it depends on the context if Brandon said it yeah but like I wouldn't give a fuck like all right we'll just beat your ass yeah they just went into Starkville and beat their out. Beat the shit out of us, yeah. Wasn't even a doubt. And we went up 7-0-0. We went up 7-0, and I think everything's great, and they scored the next 38.

It is an interesting hypothetical. People ate at Ohio State. Yeah. Yeah. Think about that. That would be like. Those shoes are so red. Yeah.

They are red. Very red. My red boots. Those boots? My extra tuffs. I have another question from college football Saturday that I'd like like to get to the bottom of. Can you pull up Jake Malsick's Twitter?

Hmm. Did you see this, Titus? I saw a parking lot video. Okay. Yes. I don't know. Let me see. Him and the fellas?

I saw him and the fellas. I didn't know if there was a saga. I just saw a lot of mean replies to him. I just saw one tweet in the parking lot. Okay. So this one was tweet. Yeah, I saw this. What time was this tweeted, T.J.?

Uh, 4.20 p.m. Okay. And then... Oh, host, in Wake Forest. It's got me feeling nicey. Ooh. Yeah. Wow.

And then what time, can you, can you pull up John Gruden? So what time did you say it was? 420. 420. Can you pull Grudin's Twitter real quick? Mm-hmm. I'm just curious about something. That's interesting.

Trying to see where you're going. here you should follow along i think i might be picking it up okay all right go down let's see this is saturday saturday all right so he said outstanding let's go virginia um what time was that at was a 423 wow that was my rick controlled bruden's yeah he's boosting twitter was he boosting himself oh yeah did he tweet the video and then immediately go into gruden's account and quote tweet his own video blatantly oh that's a tough move you can't respect trying to force engagement i can relate can you can you come on so he makes the video no it went well good it was perfect nice good thank you i'm happy for you thank you do you what is that how you

I was staying That was your thing to talk about You guys were weirding me out No, you didn't know if you wanted to talk about I didn't know the etiquette It's your thing Oh yeah, yeah, it's Well, congratulations

I all got engaged Oh Here we go We didn't know if you wanted to talk about it or not That's why we didn't say it Oh, I thought you guys were like pissed No There's probably some lady yackers that are pissed

But they'll just have to get over it congrats Kyle I was so nervous going into this weekend me too oh me too I was alphabet soup for like a month just scrambled mess alphabet soup

just like wet letters I'm like rain man wet with letters so how did you do it it was it worked out very well but I was like I was in this tough web

of wanting it to be special but not wanting to prepare or plan anything. Right. I didn't want anyone involved. I wanted to be private. So I had to punt on day one. Oh, you were holding the ring being like, I'm going to, so you didn't plan to the point where you were like,

I'm just going to do this when it feels right. I wanted to wait for the right moment. That's awesome. Mistake. It worked out well, but I don't recommend it. You carried the ring with you on the first day? Yeah. And that thing was burning.

Was it noticeable? We were at a scenic overlook. But the cat. kept, like, people kept passing. I was like, I could not give anyone the gratification of watching this. We're at engagement point, honestly. And then I looked, and I was, like, being really weird. Yeah, so why?

She was like, Kyle, why are you dead silent hyperventilating? And is that like a Rubik's cube in your pocket? In your shorts pocket? They don't warn you about how big the box is. Huge fucking weird. It's just sticking out of my fucking shorts pocket. I look so obvious. It looks like you had a Game Boy.

Yeah. But, like, why is there a photo of you alone at the point? She has to take my picture. I'm like, fuck. And you can tell on the picture. So you didn't do it. I had to punt day one. Like, the worst feeling of her, not getting it in.

And the whole time she knows it's happening at some point? I don't, I don't. You had the box in your pocket. Yeah. Probably. Okay. Your pocket was sticking out. The day one was, like, the worst day in my life.

and I'm walking to the hotel with her and this guy just gives me the finger like over and over again and then some guy pulls up and I hear my own voice he's listening to my podcast with Dana he's like KB I'm listening to your podcast with Dana

and I convinced myself I'm schizophrenic but yeah made it happen Santa Monica Mountains Day 2 Westridge Trailhead Day two. Day two. Yeah.

And how quick does she say yes? Um, it's one of those things where you get on the knee and that's all the symbolism you need. Yeah, it's like it's over. Yeah. You didn't say full name or anything? None of that. Okay.

Wait, did she say yes? Did you ask? Right. Ask. Yeah, did you say, will you marry? No, I think like the... Are you sure you're engaged? Yeah, I don't know if she said yes.

Yeah. Did you say anything? And so then what... What did you do? turn around and see your man on a fucking knee with the ring like that's all you need there's like i don't need to say you didn't say anything no or she didn't say anything we i think we talked you stick her hand now yes you might have to have a follow in this moment i'm not you might have have a follow up tonight and then i cried that's beautiful out of my eyes and dick

we were on a mountain i i pissed like five minutes later that's got to be such a relief to get that ring out of that pocket oh my god it was so what did you do afterwards feeling like for the rest of the hike was she like nervous having this diamond on a hike or like we just walked down we're like can you believe it yeah and then did you like uber to the hotel engagement sex to the hotel yeah wine um and then bar hopping oh how soon after is protocol to get into like a typical argument after engaged i gave it not quite 24 hours Now, did the thing that... You know me driving in L.A.

Oh, yeah. You got a little bit of a monster. Did the thing that I said might happen happen after? In terms of the planning? What? Was she into plan mode right away? No, we're on the same page. Okay. We're like, no.

Because that can happen where it's like... No, that's the last thing. You think you're buying yourself a little bit of time and it's like, no, it's plan mode. That was the pinnacle. It's nothing more. Yeah. You're not even going to have a wedding. All I needed.

I'm so happy. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, we had no idea if you wanted to bring it up or not. I didn't know what happened. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, thank you. You were even telling people this morning like it was disappointing to you. I don't say that.

You walked in and you were like, I got engaged and I said, congratulations. You just turned your back and walked upstairs. You didn't say congratulate. I did too. You said, do you expect me to congratulate you? Oh, that sounds like a wise ass. It pissed me on. I was being a wise ass.

I want it smothered. But you weren't walking around like you were accepting congratulations at the time. You walked around like you just wanted to clock in and clock out. You just wanted to go get on a plane. Question. Yeah, you're right. Can we do a yak engagement party?

Yeah, I was kind of expecting one. Okay, good. Oh, okay. Done. Yeah, perfect. All right. We'll do it. Misconception, I love attention when it comes to celebrating me.

What if the yak engagement party is you just come in here one day and we're all in singlets and we're like, you get to wrestle all of us. Trying to think of something better than that. That would mean the world. That might happen. It's a random point.

It just might be Kyle's bachelor party alive on the act and we're just all like, go ahead, pin us. Yeah, all right. I think we're done. Oh, no, no. Were you planning?

Did a part of you think you were going to cry after you proposed? I didn't know. because that's why I wanted to be complete privacy. Yeah, it's a big moment. So I want the emotions to be raw. Yeah, that's awesome. You never gave like any emotional monologue to her, any like...

No monologue. This is what you met to me or I love you this much. It's a blackout moment. That's right. Yeah, I actually don't remember. A whole blackout. Did, uh, did you... You guys all have done it.

I bought you up. Did you consult her friends about the ring? Like, is that how, because that's how almost women find out is like, I remember when I got the ring it was just like everyone in her life like all her friends are like yeah she wants this this like that's how it works and then the friends to her like hey maybe have your nails done yeah right

maybe have her right um I skipped the middle man just asked her did you ask her father I did oh how'd that go we both were on the same page okay that's good we just talked football love the commanders so wait you asked for his daughter's hand

and he was like yeah all right and I would love that And then you brought up the conversation. I was expecting, like, more of a, he was just like, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty more of a call. I was like, I was nervous for that, too. The whole process is. Like a quiz that you were going to get or something.

But then, like, afterwards, I'm like, I went to, like, text some of my boys. I'm like, what am I doing? Why not? I think that's weird. No. It's the woman's moment. No, it's both of your moments. when you texted me asking for a shirtless picture which I still owe you

you didn't respond yeah I know I forgot I also I was also to my I was also freaking out the whole week to my my career downfall is in no to my defense I did get a new phone and I did the update and I lost an entire day of text messages so I apologize for that was that part of your engagement thought of that yeah that's what I'm wondering when did you send that was that after the day one, the worst day your life? That was during day one. At least I'll get a shirtless picture. I know how I'll do it. First, let me get a

picture. That's step one. Not to be dramatic, but I thought about you not replying all week. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I did reply verbally on the act. Oh, you brought it up. I brought it up. And I was like, I owe it to them. And I'm going to do it. How can you send someone a shirtless pick verbally? I just, can I say, Kyle, I took one in my bathroom and then it was like, this is

fucking weird. It was just part it was like a joke. Look, I actually Like, Kyle, show you. Congratulations. Starting to fail at them. Was California? It was one of the best things that happened to me. I was my dad. I didn't want to send you this one because, like, you can kind of see my cock.

Oh, it's bigger than I thought. No, it's not. How can you see your cock? I'm naked. Oh, okay. I'm fully naked. My cock is out. You're fully naked. You can kind of see your cock? Oh, you can definitely see your comments in my underwear. I thought.

I will send you that, though, because we do need a base. Before and after, yeah. Well, I also wanted to eat this weekend before I send it to you. I wanted to plump up. That's the real reason. Yeah, really plump up for you. Nice and fat. Congrats and fat.

Congrats, Kyle. Now you can celebrate in Memphis, dude. In Mississippi. You get to go do rediscovering? You just touched down, got to go to Memphis. Oh, no. Yeah. the cog music would it

museum it's the gong museum we're getting a sound bath congrats Kyle I'm very happy for you thank you yeah congrats Kyle no it's way too much

yeah now I know I want to get out of well done Kyle Steve did the draft Kings read there we were talking about Malsick right oh yeah yeah I can get Malsick on to do the draft king oh oh oh hold on I'm gonna take a piss do the draft king's re

Malsack anything to say to Kyle that handsome motherfucker. That's awesome, Kyle. I didn't know that happened, so congratulations, my man. Thank you, Jake. Yeah. Interesting, yeah.

What are you doing? Just at work, hanging out. What are you doing? What's like your morning look like? Got to the office today around 745, wake up Barstall Gruden's on Mondays. Then we filmed some social series and then opens a few boxes. now I'm here. Pretty good day.

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In partnership with Draft Kings, the crown is yours. Malasek. Hey, guys. How you doing, buddy? I'm all right, pretty good. I don't know what I'm here for, but... How was Virginia? Fun.

I mean, the game fucking sucked, but everything else was cool. I had a good time. Glad I went. Is coach there? He is, yeah. is he can he hear us he's not with me right now but i can go get him if you'd like uh yeah actually i'd like to ask him first okay let me a second don't like your sweatshirt it's a quick question for coach it's a quick i don't even i don't even realize what i'm wearing

anymore it's all the clothes i own is just different schools here we go all right tell me he's live you're on the show here you're on the yak for a second they've called us coach What's going on? Question for you. Did you happen to see Malisek's video at Virginia saying that Virginia is, they're feeling nicety? I did. I saw that.

I was really proud of that deep down. When did you see it? Do you see it right after he posted it? Yeah, right after. He must have sent it right after he was done with his guys. Okay. And you quote tweeted it or was that Malisek who quote tweeted that? I think Jake quote

Okay I'm looking out for you coach Cause you got to watch out for this guy He's quote tweet his own tweets You know trying to get some some This is how we operate down here For those that don't know Is he doesn't necessarily know all the ins and outs

Of the social media apps that he's on I said him the tweet that I sent And he goes outstanding Let's go Virginia can you put that out on my thing oh okay all right all right that's what you're getting at dan that that's how that went down what a sad is this what this calls about yeah try and probe into the perhaps um egotistic jake malicek files is that what yes i'm looking out for you coach because i don't want i don't want this guy to start tweeting stuff willy nilly under your name

I appreciate you doing that, Dan. I do, man. We got to make sure. We got to make sure we're buttoned up. Okay. You're a good guy. All right. All right.

All right. Wait, so, Malick, you 100% did quote tweet yourself and, and- No, I, listen, I don't send out anything on his account that he does not say yes or no to. That's a true fact. No. Okay. I'm honestly a little insulted that you would insinuate that. Mm-hmm.

I take my job very seriously It's not a little funny game thing That I get to do on his stuff He's got a lot of followers He's got a big big platform And I take it pretty seriously On what goes in and out of there So thank you for taking a note of that

But uh Do you ever I've been told that you would think so Do you ever accidentally like Stay logged into his account by accident And then like like a hot chick or something I did do that one time Yeah he did

Yeah and of course it was the one time That everybody found out about it and posted it all over Twitter so that was pretty cool yeah you're starting to sound like coach a little bit charm is rubbing up yeah making faces like him too yeah what uh who we talking to these days Auburn USF Arkansas no comment nothing going on I don't know have you started looking for apartments anywhere no I mean you you definitely you know oh so USF no just where I live I mean I need somewhere to stay well we have have a two-year contract at Barstall, so I'm just going to stick around here for another year,

and then when the contract's up, I have no idea what's going on. You guys all know that if a coach does take a job somewhere, this guy is going to pretend he never knew any of us. Yes. He's already doing that. Yeah. He's going to be wearing a visor. He's going to be have a headset on the sideline.

Yep. And he's going to, and he's like, oh, this. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. All my, all I do is try and be your friend. And all you do is shit all over me. Barstle's true.

Not even going on that resume. Yeah. Yeah, it's not even on his resume. Not even going on that resume. I love all of you so much. And all I get in return is fucking just punched. And I don't appreciate that anymore. Look at this.

I love what's happening. I love what's happening. I text you a nice text after Virginia loss. Oh, you tried to fuck me. That's what you tried. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. And you tried to be mean to me in my hour of need.

And I won't get that either. I was nice. I said Charlottesville is a nice place right after my loss. Did I deserve it? did I deserve it absolutely but it wasn't very nice of you to do and I thought you would be the bigger person I was wrong why did you think that I can figure a little too much well this started because when Wisconsin was getting smoked by Ohio State like three weeks ago Malasek texted me out of the blue being like Madison's still a cool place and I think I reply I think my exact reply was if you if you send me any more pity I will literally kill myself and put your name on the bullet wow and then I said and you said the gun is in my mouth And then he stopped taxing me. The gun is in my mouth. Like Jake Malicex throwing pity on me is the worst feeling of all time.

Jake, were those your boys in the video or are those just strangers? No, that was the lacrosse boys. We're all hanging out. So I got to stay with a couple of them and hung out with the younger kids. And it was, I had fun. I mean, the game, we suck fucking ass with that football, apparently. Brandon told me that weeks ago.

But everything else was awesome. I got to see a lot of people I didn't haven't seen in a while and got to kind of relive the glory days for two days and I had a great time besides scoring nine points losing to Wake Forest sucked. Hell yes. What about all the people in your replies telling you not to come back?

Yeah, I mean, every time I go, we lose. So that is a problem. Yeah, that sucks. Now, on the record, if we make the ACC championship game, I will be going. So if you're a gambler that wants to bet against Virginia, that's a pretty easy win there if we make it to Charlotte and I go.

You still have a path? Yeah, I mean, we went out, we're going to go. So I'm not that. apparently worried about it um big game this weekend against dude it's all i got all i care about big game saturday have the have these words ever come out of your mouth at a bar to a female hey you want a super bowl head coach to follow you on instagram oh uh no again you also should don't be better than that that this is i take this very serious yeah that you don't talk to girls i agree also true i used to do that with uh dudes with dion

What? I was like dudes at the bar I'd be like, hey, you want to call Dionne Sanders? What were you trying to get out of? No, no, boys. Just friends, points. And I also did do that this weekend as well. I called Gruden with everybody.

Yeah, when you were their boys, it's fun. Yeah, that was pretty sweet. And he was a good sport about it, so I appreciated that. But no, I'm not using his Twitter and Instagram logins for pussy and or my own clout. Thank you very much for the insinuation. That's a boy. Can you hit him with another Dan? Yeah, that was good.

You think so. He doth protest too much. I didn't like that at all. Okay. Well, we got to the bottom of it. Yeah. And who brought that up? Who started that talk?

Me. I like New Jake. I like New Jake. Not nicey? Yeah, not nicey at all. New Jake ain't taking the shot. Oh, no. He's feeling himself.

Big time. How was the weather up there, guys? Oh, fuck you. Such a loser. Did he just turn it off after that? You're such a loser. when Gruden retires

you come crawling back for a job I'll remember that one when that happens maybe so but as of right now he's lovely I kind of like

I need Gruden just retire tomorrow because he thinks that he's above all of us you're going to make him live outside if he wants to

this is crazy you're like Dwight Shrut when he becomes the boss for the day like I don't have take this shit any more guys anything else

do you have are you chewing gum no just hanging out but you're you're like you're chewing gum it looks like you're yeah that's not a that's a coach thing he is he's oh he's

he's trying to like Gruden yeah this fucking guy he's coach larping I got some I got some work I got to do so oh yeah okay cold disrespectful condescending you're about to cut us

what's the work you got to do Jake he's gonna go on chicklets in 10 minutes oh okay so rudin needs to do work good luck good luck go get him out there do you take you're John Gruden he does

I can stick up I can stick up for you here Malasek when I was Dion's guy I would just act like Dion Why did you get a damn drop of Dion? I wouldn't swear. I would I would pray. I'd go to church.

You could say stuff like bull junk? Yeah, I would say bulljunk. Did you ever lead a prayer? No, but I would like, I became religious for like six months. That's very funny. I'm with you on this, Malasek. When you're around a guy long enough, you start to act like. But he's not.

Gruden's charming. Yeah. Yeah, this is, he's a dick. I'm charming mouse no you're not yes you are dude opposite of charming oh man I miss him he's just taking all the bad group I don't miss this he has a lot of potential yeah but it's interesting

it is a character turned yeah listen we'll be back next week see everybody then yeah don't let him go he's not trying to go yeah so Jake is the Jake that kept his own feces on his shelf in a jar for weeks is he dead he's still in there somewhere

okay good good good he's deep in there but he he's buried pretty deep but he's still alive what about the Jake to fuck his dog see tell us what was that one

just heavily implied no he just he just caressed and kissed his dog in a way that was uncomfortable also you could have just been like I didn't do that yeah

I tried that no I couldn't have done that You've never said that for years. Maybe tweet that from Gruden's. Tweeted from Gruden's account being like Jake Malasek has never fucked his name. Just clear it up once and for all. Oh, look at him. He doesn't have time for us.

Tweet it from your account and have Gruden quote tweet. He's like, outstanding. I knew he'd never fuck his dog. He thinks we're like juvenile losers. You really thought, hold on. You really thought I'm just like making that shit up and doing whatever I want on there? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, on the record, not doing it. Are you insulted? Okay. What? You ask a question. Yeah, but I said that word before and I were making fun. You're mocking me. Oh, my God, no.

I didn't know you said. I won't be mocked. I didn't know insulted was your word. What fuck is wrong with you? I don't shine shoes no more. I'm mocking you by saying insulted. He's going to come in here and stab us all with a fucking penknife. He's lost it.

Yeah, no. He's lost. He thinks we're juvenile losers. Well, tell us something goofy you've done recently. Yeah, give us your goofiest story. Something goofy? Yeah. I did feel like way too old to be back in college, though.

That was, I was towing the line of being... Did you go to the bars you went to when you were in college, or did you go to the old people boys? And I thought I still had it, and I just simply didn't make too old to be there. Yeah. Does it get tricky over there, or is it pretty safe? Tricky in what way? Like, Charlottesville. Like, is it dangerous?

Yeah. No, it's fine. It was like parents weekend It was a lot of people Normal people walking around So no issues But yeah no Definitely was Unk weekend

Which sucked Hmm His eyes moving around Like he's like working on something I know Looking over the data He's like We'll look over these numbers

He's getting nervous The report ready for coach We're five minutes away From Malasek having to put his laptop In front of Grosk that's what he's going to do get the hands ready yeah

make sure you log in the stream yard all right well you guys have a good day man all right I got the cursor ever the zoom icon all right we love you malisek you know we love you even though you don't like us anymore bye jay I love you all see next week all right see yeah he's just grown up yeah he thinks we're juvenile losers

all your little yak wheel and kind of worked on me Yeah, I kind of like Want more of them Got an edge to him Well, he did leave us and go out And he's like doing He's in the real world Yeah

Yeah Doing real work Do you think he saw Like the episode Where we had to color Our soft penises And he was like That's pathetic

Well no member We asked him to And he didn't Oh yeah We had to do it Because he didn't Yeah And old Jake would have

Oh yeah We're basically just the town He's at the same bar We're never gonna leave Right He's gone on To get a big job In New York City

Oh my God We were lashing out Yeah He caught. Oh, yeah. No, I'm hurt. Yeah. He's moved on. His story about going to the bars back of college. Well, he, that was us. Yeah, that's us. He was talking about us. Yeah. One hundred percent. Also, he's right. Oh, yeah. But we don't have to say that to him. Okay. We are juvenile losers. Yeah. I'm sorry to keep bringing it back to myself here, but. I'm with him because when I went for like six months and then I went, Deion went on PMT. And big cat was like, do you know your guy here? He like, butt. chugs and i was like i was sitting in that seat and i'm like fuck i don't want him to know that yeah but then when i got back to real life at barstool or like fake life yeah you just become like an idiot again and i'll i'll fully admit that like when when i see one of my friends like you know clean up i'm just like i want to drag him back down where we're at i felt good back to the mud

you felt good like a like an idiot again yeah that's my true self yeah you can't leave Right. Who am I trying to, who am I trying to fake out by trying to be normal? But I think Malick's gone forever. So I'm saying, I think he was looking for a way out anyway. He'd be fine. Malsak always was looking for a way out of. He was the most down guy. Yeah, exactly.

I'm telling you, once he gets, if he's back, he'll be back. He ain't ever coming back. Did you go down there with Dion, Dana, for six months? Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm just, it's a relatable thing. I get where he's coming from. He's actually more like Ryan. when he makes a fake company in New York.

Ah. The office. Yeah. And then he comes back and he's like, listen. Yeah. He'll be back. He'll be back. Would he be devastated if Gruden found out that he dried his own turd on his shelf?

Wait, do not he just call Gruden one day and tell him everything. But that's like, this is all on the table. And I hope Gruden stays with us forever. But if he wants to go back and coach, he's going to have job offers. And Malasek being like his right-hand man at a university. And we're just every now and then zooming him in being like, hey, still fuck your dog yeah we're just trying to try to try to keep him back he's like the gm of arkansas football we're talking about the dating game yeah would he be is that like

an auto invite for jake to i think he's on the field yeah i think he's with gruden i think he's i agree he'd be his s id or something yeah is like football ops guy i've talked to him about it it's it's it's he's going well i saw the light go on i saw the light going i saw Oh, no, like wherever Gruden gets going to be heavily involved. I was there when the light bulb went off. When I took Gruden and Malasek up to Madison and we like got shown around all day by Fickle's right hand guy, we went out to lunch after and Gruden was taking a piss and Malasek was like, so that guy like, do you think I could?

And I was like, oh, gone. There he goes. He wants it. He wants to wear some nice, some nice khakis and a team issued polo every day. He won't tell anybody that he used to work at Barstores. No. No. And yeah, he'll like, he'll probably get people kicked out of the stadium if they, like, yell at him from the sideline.

Like, hey, did you fuck your dog? Get that guy out. He's out. Get him out. So what all is he done? He's fucked his dog. He doesn't bathe or shower. He didn't like that girl.

He was shocked by a studio apartment. Don't let that die. That's his legacy. Yeah. He didn't like a girl saying that basketball looks hard during an NBA game. He turned him off a lot Yeah I love him so much

Well you love the old him Yeah you don't love the new version He looked different to me Like his jaw line looks stronger Or something like he just looked Yeah, it's all that imaginary gum Wow yeah He's just chewing

He's just chewing now He says it in his playbook He sees other coaches chewing and he starts And it looked kind of cool It did It was like been doing it for a while now we don't know what a dick no he's gone on to better places

why wouldn't you want to just be the guy that fucked his dog for the rest of your life yeah the guy that wanted to have a threesome with with a dude in it he wanted to watch a threesome Rachel McAdams oh hell no

oh the hell they can't oh man oh the hell they can't we listen to that clip we need to have a funeral for old Jake yeah we do yeah he won't come no he would way above him absolutely way below him yeah i'll send i'll send something send us a box of like helmets then you see they uh they arrested that kid in starved what they they caught they arrested him no shit yeah oh fuck they arrested

them uh oh what they charged him looks like what is his name brandon love lady no that's the information director for the for the police department that right there McClintock I got that name on Friday but I was scared to say it publicly because it was I didn't know I didn't know if it was real

and I don't want to ruin somebody but that's who it was Was he a student there or he just Yeah well he is for now I don't know if he will be much longer Did you disavow? I did yeah publicly And I personally apologize

Yes Okay Apologized to Dave as well You did disavow though I did Okay On the college football show the other day Okay

let disavowed this kid being arrested. Does that review come out? I don't think it has. Comes out tonight. Yeah, Brandon paid his bail. Got to get this guy back out on the street. Wow. That's crazy.

Yeah, I also have not done that. I'm a pretty vanilla guy, guys. Man, down, Jake, you got to step in her. I'm glad. Who would you do it with? Yeah, too, my boy. Am I getting to pick anybody? Yeah, he's in the world, Jake.

All right, let's see. I'll do Rachel McAdams Oh, you know who's Hey, hold on Let me open Google Finish it off, Jay Land the plane

Oh, hell no Come on, Jake Come on, thank you Thank you I'm Come on She was in a notebook, guys Come on

She was in a notebook Brough Hey, she is pretty Hold on Jake But she ain't got a He's a nice lady, come on. He's a nice looking young guy. It ain't nice and no, Joe.

No, I never said Rihanna wasn't hot, John. Who y'all second person, bro? Uh, is it a guy? You have to pick a guy or a girl? No, you can pick another girl. Oh, no, we could be a guy. He could be whatever. I'm definitely a guy.

No, the hell of a cake. You know what? Let's do the cast of the Notebook. Let's do Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gossley and I'll just be in the corner. You ever had a threesome? How did he end up with that? I don't know. I don't remember. He did the opposite of code switcher.

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and make a difference. All new Stell Blue Coffee can latte is now available at Stellblucoffee. It's now available at StellbluCoffee.com. I watched Hands on a Hard Body. Oh, yeah. A documentary recommended by the Lister's. Yes. Very good.

Yes. Very, a lot of characters. I recommend it a lot of weirdos. And that's pretty much all I'll say, I guess. And you guys know the basic premise? Yeah, do you know? I don't know. It was mid-90s in Texas, and they did the promotion where you put your hand on the car,

and the last one to move the hands wins the car. It was a truck It was a hard-body Nissan truck And they just had a crew there Filming the entire thing And following everyone on their little journey And it was actually like really sad Like it was funny at first

And then you realize like how desperate these people are To like win a truck You feel horrible Like throw three days of their life away And was it three days? It was about three days Yeah to get second place Yeah to get second place

And like they had prizes Where like second place was like $500 and third place was a gift card for an undisclosed amount to some like restaurant it's like a 25. Yeah, you could be there for like 70 hours. I think that's...

And when a $25 gift card tool. Oh, yeah. It's torture. Just give somebody a car. Yeah. I'll do a giveaway. It's like the Mr. B stuff where people are like...

Exactly. So I started reading up on it because I was like, as I do with documentaries, I get fascinated. I do my own research. They ended it because a guy went across the street to Walmart

and got a gun and killed himself. Oh, what? Yeah. it was crazy this particular or like the end of the car thing in general the one the documentary

so they didn't say that in the documentary because it was like made in the 90s and that was it and that was like that iteration of the contest

and then I was like do they still do this at this place like what would happen and then I was like reading up on it and like at some point in the early 2000

a woman died holding her pee yeah for a woman died holding their pee yeah for one of them Nintendo Wii why can't you that was a big

I thought that was more of like an urban Oh, maybe it was. Or she drank too much water, I thought. Like water, water poised. Oh, yeah, you can, like, drown. That's a thing. Yeah.

Anyways, it was fascinating. Yeah. A lot of... I check it out. Yeah, I highly recommend it. Yeah, it was, like, very funny for the, for a while, and then started to become... Psychologically. That's actually a perfect documentary.

Yeah. Makes you feel everything. But, like, the first 30 minutes, every single person that comes on screen, you just start cackling. That's one of those. You're just like, God damn. And it's set in the night. It's like it, it made me nostalgic for Texas in the 90s despite never being in Texas in the 90s. I was like, man, I'd love to go back.

I'd love to go back to when mom and dad used to take me to that car dealership in Texas in the 90s. Anyway. I'll have to watch it out. Got to watch it. Without spoiling, like, did they go crazy after so many days? A little bit, yeah. Like not. Yeah.

yes because you can't sleep yeah you don't sleep right you can't so mr. beast just picked up this formula I think so yeah it was it was a fascinating it was a fascinating documentary I think his amusement park opens up soon

mr. beast yeah does he get criticism he gets oh yeah even when he does good stuff really every oh yeah especially when he does good stuff because it's a lot of this where it's like you know you're making someone live in the

in a like a trailer for a year or a plane for a year to win money. Did you guys see the Mr. Beast, the guy who just is Mr. Beast, he's a Wisconsin. He's running for office or something? I thought, I thought it was AI. It was a clone. That's how fucked up like the world is now that I looked at all these pictures like, this has to be AI.

TJ, I'm sure you saw it, right? Nope. It looks just like him. It's like Mr. Beast, but Ginger. It's a Ginger Mr. Beast running for public office in Wisconsin. and it's it fucked me up oh yeah i don't like that

isn't that crazy tim i don't like that tea it's ginger mr beast what do you know worse mr beast i just feel like it's maybe a i that looks i think that is a i yeah i went to his twitter and i was like i think this is ai but i can't now they're like they're ai and everything even like news stations

like there was a story about ronda rousey and in the picture for the link. It was just her with massive tits and hips. Oh, what did that look like? They just A-Ied her a fake body. What did that? Oh, man. That's a reason. No reason? I got got by that old people. The Halloween

costumes thing. I thought that was real. Got a lot of people. Wait, what was that? It was like the old people dressing up for Halloween. Oh, and a whole retirement home was AI. It looked so real, yes. And then all the comments were like, because Barstle posted and they're like, no way Barstle fell for this.

Did we? Yes way. Oh, yeah. It looks real. Our team. I think we should all agree to just fall for the stuff and enjoy it. That's what Aiden's. I don't know.

There's some, like I saw some, I'm sure, but yesterday I saw a video of like a fat guy in a KFC bucket just smashing through walls. But imagine believing that. He actually did that. Fat people off diving boards and then the entire pool breaks.

That's kind of funny. It's a lot of fat people stuff. I saw a chick, yeah, jump off a bungee cord and she took down the whole braid. Yeah, rest her soul the running back that was really big that was trucking people that made me laugh our high school had a viral oh my god did you guys see this i i heard they were talking about today here and they were saying wheeling park yeah this is all ai i oh my gosh what is mr delaney

what on earth are you supposed to be i'm a chip monk okay this is a bad example but no that's That's a terrific costume. There was like a... Martha, what are you supposed to be? I'm a spice girl. Yeah, this is wage for you. And like, it's a retirement home account, but it's all fake. Oh, that's a waste of time.

Wait a second. Is this where Mike got... I think that's where Betts got it. By the way, what happened with Betts this weekend? I can't imagine. Went to a masquerade party. And then he had a tweet that was like... My wife doesn't know I'm going to fuck her later.

Hard launched as well Worded it like that Don't say she doesn't know She was in the video He was like she doesn't even know He said that I'm not fine it TJ I'm pretty sure

Yeah She has no idea she's getting the PIPA Tonight Piper Maybe it's just Pipe Pipe TIPA No Mames A character

Is that a Hispanic thing You want her to have it Like maybe a tinge of an idea like look at him and he's perfect he's beautiful they're an SEC couple no he is he is beautiful beautiful symmetrical and wonderful

I love bets man he too but she's smoking hot no don't sit list oh he doesn't like that no he got mad at me for saying compliment I said oh he said it in a way that was kind of creepy the first time I said I said what people don't know about bats is he has a beautiful smoking

hot wife and he said beautiful would have been fine smoking hot was too far oh come on that's that's a compliment of course it no but he licked his lips when he did it you implied that you Brandon you wanted yes you had smoking hot a wipe and his leg did that thing a dog does a little bit

yeah you started humping the air yeah it's too much We got more in Mikey Betts lore on Friday that you missed Kyle He dated a woman who had schizophrenia And now he's diagnosing schizophrenia across the city He diagnosed a Jewel Osco checkout lady with schizophrenia And he tried to save his relationship with his girlfriend Who had schizophrenia by catching her a frog

And then his girlfriend said that the frog had a police bug in it just a regular book was the frog as like a medical remedy no as a pet as a pet and she threw it out to cheer her up

for having schizophrenia yeah I think so and then they didn't break up though even though she accused him of recording and following her they didn't break up until she stole

a quarter pound of Mikey's weed yeah she had him meet her in a church to meet in the middle of the pews where no one could hear them being like

I know what the fuck you're doing But he didn't break up with her until she said. And he went to Jewel Osco and said, she said, okay, how this happened? He said, have a nice day and she laughed. And a woman laughed in his face. And then he left. And then I told him to go back.

He went back an hour later and confronted the woman. But he thinks she has schizophrenia. Yeah, he now thinks that person has schizophrenia. Because she laughed the same as his ex laughed. He was like, I know that. Maybe he is tapping. And we also said, you might get kicked out of that Jewel Osco. He said, no, because the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

general manager is my old vice principal who I used to bully. Okay. I think you're all caught up now. There it is. Like, what do you mean bully? He's like, well, he had braces, so I made fun of him for it. It's like, okay. A man of grace and patience.

He admits he was a bad kid. Oh, yeah, he went to, in high school, he got sent to the basement for, like, remedial learning, and he only had to go to school from two to six every day. Alternative school. A lot of Mikey Bet, Betty Betts. Wait, let's talk about that. I always thought alternative school was a myth. Yeah.

He's special needs. Yeah, he's like, it rocked. I went down there and all the kids were stupid. And he was like, I went to school from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. every day. The kids toward the top had a blast. Yeah. The kids toward the very bottom had a blast. The kids in the middle were coming up.

But the way he was describing it, he wasn't quite aware. He's like, all the other kids were so stupid. All right. Yeah, he just continues to give us more. and more. I mean, we've missed out on years of content. I know. I've got to make up for him.

He is something else. I think we're getting close to, like, him confessing to some actual crime. He wants to, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He would love to get that green light. Yeah. Just like, do you do it.

Did he say he tried to grab a gun off? That was he told me. Yeah, yeah. There's a video. I said, good morning, bets, and he told me that. Yeah. Unbelievable. But he's funny about it because he's like, yeah, he should be dead.

Yeah. It'd be bad if he was like, yeah, I did it, and what's the problem with it? He understood fully. He fully understands it. He might be the perfect level of intelligence. Betts is coaching our basketball team. Oh, that's great. Or what reason?

So this is pregame speeches pretty much because he gave us one. He tried to when me and Titus interviewed him. And it was so bad. but so good. How are you involved in this, Titus? I don't know fully. I'm the GM, yeah. Yeah, I'm just floating in and out.

I have a feeling that my role is going to probably cause a major rift. Oh, no. Well, I'm the booster. Okay. And I'm going to give money based on performance. Okay. I don't know it was money. Yeah, which means that I would imagine Nikki Smokes is going to be doing a lot of hogging.

Yeah. I'm going to pay by the point. That's going to be bad for. Oh, shit. Pay by the point is devious. This team's going to be 0 and 8, but he's supposed to average 40 points. I would watch that league. If everyone got paid by the point, I'm going to pay them by the point.

I didn't know what's paid by the point. They're going to be paid by the point. $10 a point. Wow. That's actually. I thought you were going to be booster like getting us jersey. No, no, no. We're paying by the point.

Okay. That's, yeah, that makes things really interesting. Is this Chicago Rec League? Like you're playing other real. Start on Wednesday. Pay by the points. be so fun in like garbage time yeah which every game will be garbage time yeah we're not going to win i don't know what's what's the money how much money are we talking i just said 10 dollars a point

oh 10 dollars a point okay all right so if i score 30 points i get 300 bucks correct give or take wheels are turning yeah but everybody on the team just said the exact same day yeah i know you guys are Shit. And I have 10 guys score 30. I do have the right to switch it up at any time. I might do a game where we pay by the assist. Yeah. Don't you guys just never stop passing.

They don't take a shot. The assiest game. That's really funny, actually. Pay by the rebound? You guys are boxing each other out. Rebounds. I'm getting rich. Payed by the technical.

Yeah. We'll just do, yeah, we'll just switch it up. I'll let you know before every game. Holy shit. Is a miss minus 10? It might, depends on the game. Could be plus. Mm-hmm.

Pay by the attempt Pay by the miss by shot attempt shot attempts we got a bunch was it Ricky Davis yeah throwing the ball

off of the rim you might have just created something that would be the funniest league to watch we might just what are your games starts Wednesday

all right so I think maybe Wednesday we just have a wheel on the yak with all the stats and we just see which one we're getting paid by that game

and we have to have this is a true test this is a true test of this team to see if we can just play ball. Yeah, we'll have technical foul on the wheel, too. Everyone gets a deck. We got some, I feel like we got some hungry guy, money hungry guys on this team. Who's the like starting lineup? Yeah, we don't know.

Yeah, we're going to have some meetings. I just, I was going to do tryouts and everything, but I'm like, just going to just, wait, it's too much. Do you have a game Wednesday? Yeah, we have the team. You haven't practiced at all? So give us the roster. Me, smokes, uh, chief, white boy Rick, Tate, big T, and the couch boys. Oh, you guys are going to be good. Who are you playing? Should be good.

I mean, you, McCarthy. You smokes and Rick are good, good players. It's good, yeah. It's all good players. Connor Griffin. Tate's a very good point guard. You need a couple more guards.

You do probably. It's just where do you draw the line with content and not? It's just kind of tough because everyone in this office would like to play, I would assume. Yeah. But it's tough when it's like, I don't know. Don't feel bad. I didn't get asked to play. I know you wouldn't want to play.

You're right. What do you mean? intermediate competition. That's just what it's listed as. There's an intermediate. There's one below and one above. What's below intermediate? Rec, I guess.

Rec, yeah. Like people learning how to play basketball. I feel like Chicago has like the most decent athletes per capita. I think I agree with that. It's a really kind of athletic town. I would assume it would be a lot of guys like us. Maybe better, a little bit better. Softball was competitive, right?

Softball was very competitive. I'm going to expect that. Wow. I don't even think if that's going to be. That's a true test. True test. We can just play basketball. Probably not, though.

No, definitely not. Dude. Nicky smokes. He's going to go nuts for money. He's also a bad teammate without that. Correct. If you're just playing basketball, you're just playing pickup, he acts like he has to be the star and he has to shoot 40 times a game. See, he's a bad teammate without stakes.

He would tell you he's a pass-first guy. They're a refs? Are there refs in these things? Yeah. This is like a real, real game. His next pass will be his first pass. I do a game where it's like, hey, Nicky Smokes, I'm going to give you $1,000 for this game,

and I'm going to subtract $50 every time someone else takes a shot. Oh, this is brutal. Oh, shit. That's funny. Well, I mean, Smoke's having refs is going to be a problem. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's not used to playing basketball with refs.

He's used to playing prison ball. I think we won't do the money for the first game. Let's let you guys play a game. We'll see all bets. Get it going. The rotation's going. Yeah, because then we can get a baseline of everyone's performance. I want you guys to go out there and just play ball.

I haven't told bets yet, but I think. Oh, you haven't told him he's. I'm sure he's heard the whispers. It was him, Eddie, or Tate. And Tate, and Eddie has, what's it called, Batchie on Wednesdays? and Tate Tate has, I don't know. I would rather have him as a player.

Tate's team scored 26 points in the state tournament the last game of course. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, let's tell bets right now. That's what Tate's problem was. They scored 26 points.

I only know this because Boscow reminds Tate. And as a coach or as a player? As a team, Tate was coaching the team. Oh, he scored 26 points in the entire team. The last time out? Yeah, his last game of coach, yeah. What was that? Like the state semi-finals?

I believe so, yeah. Final four. Semi-finals. That's okay. You have to ask Bosco. He remembers all the details. He's got a mind like a steel trap. Yeah, I'm going to be like the coach K of this team where I'm not involved with the program.

I swear. Unless they win. But you'll get the glory. Yeah, and then they'll win and I'll start you at the glory. So, Mikey's your peak Godette? Right. Yeah, I love that. I'm like kind of hovering over.

You're up 19. You're scoot over, man. If you get to the finals, Titus is coaching. It's exactly right. It's exactly right. I like that a lot. Zero risk, all reward for me. I'm excited.

Brandon, would you do the NASCAR read? Of course, I'll do the NASCAR read. The 26th, Daytona 500 is the 68th running of the Great American Race on Sunday, February 15th. Watch edge of your seat action as NASCAR's best battle for the biggest win of the year. Experience the war, the energy, and the history at Daytona, Internet. International Speedway. Enjoy concerts, fan zones, tailgates, and access to the heart of the action all weekend long. Don't miss your chance to be part of the most iconic event. Don't just watch history. Be part of it. Grab your tickets now for the 2026 Daytona 500 and experience the speed, the sound, and the spectacle live.

Seats sell out every year, so secure your spot today. Buy your tickets for the Daytona 500 at nascar.com. All right. We're getting people suited up out there. KB, do you know anything about the Edmund Fitzgerald? It's the ship that sank in the Superior. I think that's the extent. I know people have been talking about it lately. Yeah, so they think it has. Brainer and I realize we don't know a whole lot.

I don't know anything about it. A lot of to devote a month to it or something. I thought it happened 200 years ago. How long ago did it happen? Today or this week, 50th anniversary. Oh, that's not too long ago at all. So what more do you know now aside from the? the basics uh we got distracted as we were looking enough and we just started we started doing

great lakes day um well they're great the great lakes are they're great they're pretty fascinating they're ocean they're oceans yeah sheboigan is a beach town they don't get enough credit for being as great as they are yeah i think they are underrated yeah they are i think they're tremendously under i think we take for granted how big they are yeah yeah they're they're seas yeah they're seas yes up there with Is there like a great slave? Yeah, imagine what America would look like if we just didn't have the Great Lakes.

Yeah. It'd be crazy. Are there holes there? No, there's just lake. Well, they're too much. They're the only lakes that get representation in state outlines, if you think about it. Yeah.

Do salt. You're right. You're right. Salt does and Okie Chobie does sometimes. It depends on the map. But like the actual state borders of Michigan. Yeah, like Tahoe Islands. doesn't get that.

Lake Tahoe. Were you guys talking to Edmund Fitzgerald? Yeah. We were. I went down a huge raveole this weekend. Tell us everything. Did you know Superior where she went down has more water in it than all the other great lakes combined?

Wow. She's deep. We knew that. So much water. And that they're all like the bodies are still perfectly preserved on there because there's like no oxygen in Lake Superior in the water. How close was it to Titanic? What do you mean?

In chronologically. No, it was 50 years ago. Pretty far. part i think yeah it was 1914 50 year well 1912 yeah yeah 1912 yeah some historic farther farther away from then to now yeah titanic it was like 60 years past so that why it maybe doesn't get as much historic love it's like i think it's so i think it's also the amount of people who died is how many people die very like 50 50 a lot yeah yeah but titanic was thousand thousand yeah yeah and the titanic was unsinkable

Also, Titanic was a passenger thing, right? I mean, Fitzgerald was a freight liner, right? Freightliner, it was four. Oh, so it deserves less love. Was the Titanic? I think we'd, yeah. Was the Titanic, like, one of the first or biggest jinxes ever? The unsinkable ship?

Yeah. All-time jinx. Pretty much. The Garden of Eden. What did they say, like, even God couldn't sink it or something? Perfect. Perfect. Oh, yeah.

That would be a big jinx. Cain and Abel. Yeah. Their last words were on the radio, we're holding our own. And then that was. And at Memphis Gerald? Yeah.

What do they mean by that? Like, we're, this sucks, but we're okay. We're holding our own because they're talking to the other. There was another ship with them, like nearby, and then they just disappeared off the radar. So they were getting tossed. So they think like a rogue wave. To put it into perspective, Kyle,

the Titanic had a movie made after it that was, billions and billions of dollars. The Edmund Fitzgerald got a trophy for a preseason game between the Browns and the Lions. Oh. I also got a song. It's a song. A haunting. But it has a trophy.

They have the Edmund Fitzgerald trophy for a preseason game. Wait, you're being serious. I'm being dead serious. I thought you were making a metaphor. You can look it up. The Browns and lions used to play for a trophy in the preseason. Wow. I had that idea. Yeah. Look it up. It's pretty pathetic.

Preseason trophy is very, that's such a slap in the face. Like if you're a family member of someone who died and they're like, the best you could do was. A regular season game would be whack too. Yeah. Also that boat looks like that. The Great Lakes Classic against a preseason football game. Damn. Brutal.

Trophy. Well. Mikey. What up, guys? You are the coach. you're officially the coach mickey oh hell you long as you're free on wednesday nights yeah very excited all right you the footage will come out but you you got us with the speech uh that's what wanted pretty much want you as a coach so you can do speeches every every night what type of offense are we

running a good one really oh wow are we going are we going pace i would love to see run like a little seven seconds or less sun's offense uh we're we're going to have a lot of pace and we're actually not with our guys. I think we have a little bit, our guys are a little slow. So we're going to try to have pace. We're not going to have pace. I want to wait a little bit. Hold on. Hold on. You started that saying we're going to have a lot of pace. For that reason, we're not going to have a lot of pace. I did, I did go for the interview without looking at the roster. And then once you said the roster, I was like, yeah, it's not going to have a lot of pace. White boy, Rick, lost weight, though, so we'll see. I mean, you do work here. Was there a world you thought it would have?

Yeah, what team could you construct in this office that would have pace? Ebo, Matt Henkel. We might have to get a pace team. We need pace. Pace team would be fired. We actually, it would be awesome if you had like a second full five of just pace and just sub them in. Just run for like three minutes.

That would be awesome, Dana. Tyler Spade ran a bar. Oh, you're making a job a lot more difficult. They run just breakneck speed for four minutes. and sub everyone out and then just go back to slowing it down. So if that's the pace group, what is the other group known for? Space? Beef.

Space is a space group, yeah. Space and power? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no bad spacing problems, most likely, but space. Space eaters, yeah. Yeah, I'm excited. I think this is going to be very fun. I'm focused more on defense because I know you guys could score, but I've seen you guys play defense here.

It's not the best. Okay, so what are you going to do to improve that defense? Defensive drills Like Um Hmm Boxing out rebounds Uh

Using that like push thing Like when they try to get around I got a lot of things I'm with the Pikes Can I wait Push thing Yeah

Do the push thing? Yeah it's like they're pushing Yeah pads There you go Pads We're gonna hit you guys with pads It's gonna be fun But that's that's generally

For offensive drill It's an offensive drill Yeah I guess you're right Yeah I didn't think of that. Mikey, do you think you're going to be a boisterous coach on the sideline? Yeah, yeah, I will be very good. Got our guy.

Yeah. Will you argue with the ref and get a technical foul? If the, if the rough is wrong, I probably will argue. Yeah, I'll probably get a lot. Are you comfortable getting any kicked out of a game? Yeah. He's got to. Yeah.

You have to for you guys. Yeah. What kind of experience do you have leading men? Have you ever been a counselor of sorts? I was captain of my junior year football team. I told the story, I don't want to spoil you. it but I can spoil it yeah it was a captain of my junior year football team so hell yes is that like a specific that's a hell of a story i'm sorry dana that was spoiled no no no no no

no i don't have to watch the video i feel like nobody all right dana just nobody seems to pick up on what we picked up on yeah no he was captain of why not your seat here i got i got kicked out of football for having bad grades so senior guy i didn't play the basement yeah i was senior year i was in the basement yeah they don't let the basement players how bad were your grades um like ds and fs the captain that's bad that's bad it's not that i'm like i just would i senior year i just stopped going to school like i just the captain of the football team got kicked off the team oh yeah this is our leader there's the leader yeah but i changed mike you what if i were to tell you you know how like when a coach gets a technical file they get fined

uh-huh what if i were to tell you it's the reverse of that if you get a technical file you get $500. I'll get a technical fall every game. Okay. Well, that is in place. Is there a way where he can start with a set amount and he loses money throughout the game when things happen? I need you ride in the refs. I will be riding the refs.

I hate refs. You hate any authority. Yeah. My wife says that all the time. She said, I have a very big authority problem and I said I just don't like people that think they're in power. Yeah. And the rest really are, I guess, are in power. but they think they're better than you

because they're in power and I don't like that. Oh, I wonder if we could get Chef Donnie to ref a game. What will be your wardrobe? Oh, my God. My wardrobe, I'll wear suits. I feel like suits. Love that.

You need to wear suits. Good. I love that. Couple. Hmm? You said couple suits? Yeah, wear a couple suit with your wife. A couple different suits.

Yeah, I'll wear a couple different suits. Yeah. All right. Did your wife ever find out that you fucked her on Saturday? Did she know yet? You better tell her now. I'm going to get out. I was out of my mind, dude.

It was a good night. Yeah, I was out of my mind. But, yeah, she knew. Is that shorter? I was like, look at the tweet. And she was like, what is wrong with you? But here we are. Yeah, there's there.

What's the Spanish at the end there? That's no mamas, which means like, like, what the fuck or like fuck. What the fuck? It means more like, it means more like, like, hey, what's up, bitch? Like, more like that, you know? Like, Mommase is like, no Mamis, like, no Mommis. No Mammis.

Oh. You're supposed to say it like that. Not no Mammes. My girl doesn't know she's going to get fucked. What the fuck, bitch? Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. And then it's not PIPA. It's PIPA.

Oh, is that penis? My pipe. Oh. That's so gross to say. Pippa sounds small, though. It sounds tiny. Okay. A little Pippa?

My little Bipa. You have to correct us from Piper to say it was. Spanish for pipe. This guy. What are you going to do? Are you guys familiar with passport polly? No. He's a fat white guy who gives

hyper-specific instructions on how to get pussy in South America. Okay. I love this guy. Like you got to go to Medellin. You got to stay in the Pablano neighborhood at an Airbnb. Then you got to leave your wallet and phone and

keys at home and go to the Elkai 34 district. And you've got to bring her back to the Airbnb, not No, bring her to a hotel, not their B&B. And then you're going to get on Tinder in Bogota and then something like that. All right. It's good to know. Thanks, man.

Appreciate that. I'll definitely check that out. Passport Pauley. Shout out. Huh. Why did you bring that up? He just reminded me of him. That white guy.

I was like, all right, you're not bad. How did you meet your wife? um my my best friend or my not my best friend we had a mutual friend 21 year old birthday and so i went there and i saw her and i was like damn and i told my best friend gunther i was like i'm going to marry her and then i did beautiful she had a boyfriend oh uh i i would like go on like her like facebook like happy birthday to the future wife he fucked that guy really i i i didn't that guy facebook post wow she was shading him? Yeah, and he was in the Marines and everyone was like, you're such an asshole, Mike. Yeah, I know. But you were on her, on her wall talking about fuck your boyfriend?

Yeah, I deleted the fuck your boyfriend one, but I would keep saying like, happy, happy birthday to the future wifey, merry Christmas future wifie, and like she wanted nothing to do with me. And then she gave me like one chance, her and her boyfriend broke up and then the rest of history. Here I am. Wow. Yeah. True love. What? You were publicly posting this? this or was this in the messages? No, this was like on her wall. She would text me and be like, you know my family could see this?

And I was like, I don't care. They got it up. Her phone, like her contact name was future wife. Yeah, I was pretty persistent about it. Good for you. Thank you. Well done. Holy shit.

Yeah. Yeah. And she's beautiful. You got a little bit of risk going there. Well, was he deployed at the time? No, he was back. Oh, okay. Did he ever say anything?

Like, hey, could you stop doing this? No. Never saw you as a threat. No, he didn't. Like, that's how I get them. That's crazy. You don't look at me as a threat, and I'm the threatiest guy of all those people.

What a girl! He's the trelliest guy of all times. I couldn't have said, man. Yeah, never mind. That's how I get that. Them? You know what I meant. The threatiest guy of all.

time yeah that's how it got my wife so shout out my wife congratulations shout out wife good job mike thanks is that like when you guys started dating was that guy like i did not see that coming uh yeah for sure that's on him to a point then and then he had like friends that would like comment on my stuff calling me jody which is i guess is a you know what that term is big time so i would like call myself jody i guess hey guys i'm jody wait what's a jody a joddy is who your wife is fucking when you're deployed oh it's like the blanket term for it. That's not a good thing.

Labeling. Yeah. Co-opted it? I didn't mind. What a dis, huh? Oh. Yeah. You loser.

You're fucking my wife. That's a weird dis. All right. What a loser. You have it all figured out. I'm doing the same thing. I don't have a few. I just go.

I'm worried this is the perfect amount to know about Mikey Betts. And the more I've learned from here. I'm worried that. I'm working that we're doing a balancing act. I'm a good guy. And it might. I'm with you. I'm with you.

It'll be our own fault, not his. That's true. What else you want to learn? Well, that's what I just said. Nothing more. Everything, but we're afraid. I think I'm in a good spot right here. For sure.

All right. Okay. See you guys. I'm excited for the best. The Lord just continues. I know. Every time he comes down. He says he's living a lot of lives.

So, Coach. But I think the key is you got to get out. You can't. He's still living lives. He's the best. Threatiest guy we got. Threatiness, 99. We will have nobody to blame but ourselves.

He just told us. Yeah. I'm the biggest threat. Please. Yeah. No, not on the biggest threat. I'm the threatiest guy. That's how I get them, he said.

Yeah. Who is them? Yeah, that's how I get them. It's a blanket statement of them. General victims. We just had him working in this office for like two years. Just had no idea. How many more of those guys?

I love them. I think we got at Parsstool. I don't know. I think a lot. I think we have a lot of them. No. Oh. You just give him a microphone and they'll just...

You just give them a microphone and they'll just... Go. Yeah, like that's me. Yeah. Dave? Hello? How we doing? You ready?

I got to get ahead of this. I'm like 9. I'm 90% sure I got a hernia right now. So if my time's not good, that's why. But you don't make excuses. No, no, no. If I get a good time, though, then disregard this. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Why do you think you have a hernia? All symptoms point to that. But I'll never, ever, ever, ever go to a hospital or anything. What? Fuck, yes. Like a herniated disc or you got like a muscle sticking out of your stomach. Yeah, one of them.

You have a lump? Yeah. And when I cough and sneeze, it's like the worst pain. Go to the doctor. Why won't you go to a hospital? Please go to the doctor. I'm not a doctor guy You've got to go to the doctor

Miserable I have never broken a bone or head stitches One time my entire life The closest to the surgery is the hair So That's how And again what are your symptoms Tremendous pain?

Yeah Where is a lump? A lump When I'm laying flat on my back Yeah But if I'm like You have to go to the doctor And go to the doctor

It does sound miserable You have to go to the doctor It does sound miserable But you're in tremendous pain now You're in tremendous pain now No it's mostly Like I can just be walking and if I like twitch my back wrong it'll flare if I cough or sneeze it's like awful like

on a scale of one to 10 like seven oh yeah and that's but the process less miserable than going to the doctor that's like a recovery process and yeah but that means you're healing recovery yeah but I'll say that it hasn't gotten you worse in two weeks though two weeks it kept getting oh okay you're fine you're fine yeah all right well is pft here I haven't seen them all All right. So you might go last. He's in, no, PFT's ready. He's in the cave. All right, okay. So PFT, get in here. All right, so we have the Body Armor Gauntlet Tournament.

It's presented by Body Armor Flash IV, helping us with rapid rehydration as we work through crowning the office-wide gauntlet champion once and for all with over 2,000 milligrams electrolytes, coconut water, and nothing artificial. It's hydration that hits harder and last longer, so work hard and hydrate hard with body armor flash IV available now at your local 7-11 convenience store. All right, so here's what we got. can we pull up the bracket so for anyone who's going to complain we did the bracket literally just straight down times so that's so for people were like oh i wasn't invited we did the top 20 people and we just did the times i think there was maybe one or two subims so we had some female representation uh in the gauntlet tournament but today we're going to do the playings so megan's already advanced because danny missed his flight kate and max are going to go against he's each other to see who plays spider white sox david and pfd to see who plays brandon and then mincy and

hank to see who plays titus i have a hernia oh yeah oh no you too i want to make excuse double hernius actually my balls are feeling great is it your balls it's not my balls it's like who wants to go first you're good wait do you really have a hernia no no i'm good oh i was like oh no i'm so i'm dumb who wants to go first dave does have the i don't care of coin flip it We have a coin? I don't have a coin. Where's that guy that got arrested? Flip the lotion?

Yeah. Slipping the lotion. Heads? Tails. Wait, which one's head? Which one do you want? You call it. I'll take the one that has 50 on.

Yeah. Okay. Heads. Heads. That means I go. No, you can decide. Dave goes first. Dave goes first.

Okay. All right. Here we go. And we'll see if he has any excruciating pain. Oh. like that it's called a sports hernia sometimes i wish more injuries just had had sports in it sports sports aids pay a sip of a body number flash iv it's a lot body that would soften the blow a lot i got a sports i got a sports him athlete's foot is nice it is nice yeah jock it's being a dude

it's the price you pay all right dave are you ready there's you ready good ones actually uh pft you sit there so dave come back to brandon seat so you can see the tv better good luck dave i got to get hydrated first time some flash iv all right so we're going to leave brandon seat open so everyone so we have a controlled this is where you sit okay ready dave first round playing tournament thank you bfd dog you so hey i am a dog three two one one one go and we will also we will not finish around if like if Dave goes like a minute 45 seconds once a minute 45 seconds is up that person will be over yeah what is the helping trivia thing

I think we should just play it straight no help for the entire tournament do you guys agree agree they get the same trivia to make it fair no oh Chewky. Really shit. What are you doing? Damn. What a save. Honor.

Damn. Rick. Here you go, Connor. Look at him. Oh my God. This is horrific. I haven't shot a basketball in six months. He's going into the control closet.

Riffin just went crazy. Does he hate White Taks Dave or something? Oh, no. He lost a shoe. Can't be good for the hernia. This is getting bad. Oh. He's stuck on it.

Okay. It's a baseball guy. Maybe. Seeing it too hard. There it is. He does everything so hard. He has to. Doesn't want people to think he's a pussy.

Nope. If Hank loses to Mincy. Oh, my God. Oh, Dave. Mincy's ready. Mency rolling sleeves up. Here you go, Dave. Trivia.

Okay. No one helping. White Sox, Red Sox, Geography, France, Germany, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Park Place, Boardwalk. It's a Pele, Rinaldo, Michael Jordan. Time! Nice. There you go. 221.

There you go, Dave. That's a hell of a time, Dave. All right, PFT's going to go up once you sit where PFT's sitting. Dave, leave that seat open for trivia. 221 is your time to beat, PFT. How's your body feel? I'm all right. Awful soccer.

Okay. Well, Connor, really. You really went ham on you. I regret wearing boots. Today? Why? Oh, you're playing. Well, we'll have Max go first.

Okay. You got to have nothing in your hands. All right, PFT's up. This is a $1,000 cash prize, by the way, for the winner of the Yak GOML tournament. He's sipping that flash IV. Steven Chase is looking so pink. today no you just have it now he's sipping it now you don't know you want to move yeah all right ready pf t tj tell me one tj

Hold on. Nope. Has PFT done the gaunt before he has, right? Everyone who's on this has done it. Yeah, it's the top 20 time. Get rid of that phone. Smart. Okay.

All right. Ready? Three, two, one. Go. All right, PFT's up. Move, Brandon. Let's go to PFT. Let's go PFT.

Oh, no. Oh. Oh. You're still good. There we go. You're good. If he gets the soccer in right away. Welp.

Well. Whoa. Welp. Well. Okay. Connor is being a real jerk today. I like it. He's got to keep that same energy the entire tournament, though.

Oh. Oh, there we go. Wow. No, no. Let's go. Dave, why'd you shake your head at that? That was outside of the spirit of the contest, I think. You've got to swing, right? I mean, it is smarter to swing softer because you hit it into the ceiling a bunch.

You did look sick doing it. Style points, right? Yep. what are you doing as a liaison to the guys getting hair what do you mean what are you doing in turn oh runner I am the tour guide okay right uh Cameron Diaz Lucy Lou Waterboy, Minnesota, North Dakota, Maine, New York, Montana, Montana, Washington, Idaho. Wow. Great first match.

Great first match. All right, so you have to, you are playing who tomorrow? I can't remember. Spider? Spider, I believe, yes. Okay. That was big. What was Dave's time?

221. Bob Spider. Not spider. Brandon. You were playing Brandon tomorrow in the tropical punch side of the bracket. Yeah, I get better at bags. All right, thank you, boys. We'll send in the next ones.

You tell Max. Yep. Dave, thank you. Thank you. Go to the doctor, Dave. Yes, go to the doctor. I'll be right. Hey's first and the hernia brand.

Yep. Best hernia time by far. That was a nice time, PFT. 2.13. That was good. I think we're going to get, like, lower and lower as the week goes. It's going to get under two. Are you afraid that this is fine?

Absolutely afraid. I mean, the amount of gauntlets we're going to run is just, it feels like it's inevitable. I don't think. It's untouchable. All right. Max will go first. That way, Kate, you can get mercy killing if he dominates you. that's fine

yeah tj you can add the times after to the leaderboard so we're not going to get any one with bogal today max what are you doing he's getting a jersey on i've got a question for you titus you know sports well dana you can throw in there too actually everyone can would you rather play a team after

they lose a big game or after they win a big game. It depends on... Yeah. Is the team a contender or is the team... Teams a contender. The team is a contender who just won a big game or the... Team is a contender that just lost a big game.

As a 13-point favorite. I would rather play a contender that just won. Yeah, agreed. You do not want to play a contender having just lost. Correct. Because then they have to win. Right. If you're playing a shitty team that just lost...

I'm betting on the... I already be... bet the eagles tonight i just we just pointed out that you would you would rather if the packers beat the panthers did he also yeah the other point where the the the packers were in first in the nfc and then they lost which made the eagles in the first in the nfc so that's why i was happy that the packers we didn't we didn't bring up that point i leave that point out so this this hypothetical you're throwing to me it feels it feels it feels pretty specific it's yeah we will be streaming the game tonight on part of my take YouTube it's been a long love you max I love

Mark so much all right max you ready he starts getting his hand all right here you go through I say three to one go and you're not getting any help for trivia and you're sitting right in the Brandon seat just this is the warm up and then he burst and he's like fah come on boom it's when he says come on That's when you know he's upset. Okay. Do you guys smell something burning?

A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know that Italians are being replaced by Latinas in this country? What? Jersey Jerry put us on to this. What does that mean? Why is nobody talking about it?

Well, Jerry has two Latina children, and I think every morning he wakes up and he's like, God damn it, they're fucking taken over this country. Italian guys are marrying Latino women. Yeah. He said it's a specific problem. Like he bets. Italians are attracted to Latinas and they're thinning the herd of Italians

Jerry found this out after dating a Latino for a long time and having two children with it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. He's saying Italians and Latinas are now mixing. Mixing. Which is very funny because it is literally he's just describing his own life.

He's done extensive research in his own house. He's getting pissed at his findings. 100% of his children are Latina. Oh shit. Stats are bad. It took him having a second kid. Yeah. He's like, oh, fuck, out number now.

Yeah. He is. All right, here we go. Ready? Three, two, one, go. Yeah. Oh, I'm fucked. Well, I was fucked anyway. No.

Come, Max. Makes me feel better. Oh, double pass. This is the way he moves. it's a big big baby oh big big so do watch max run there it is there it is keep doing it Connor you got to stay consistent Oh, he's a lefty? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. He's got a great swing. Oh, no. Come on, Max. There we go. No, he's going too hard. Him and Dave just can't resist. Scott!

There it is. And he's a righty thrower. really yeah okay you might be all right no all right I don't know if I can hit a three or max at that three in my face oh the best we're we're gonna be doing I think I think we're gonna do that again fuck yes I won't have to worry about my wedding this time that was a really good series yeah it was fun it was fun to watch yeah kudos to I think they're in for a second season yeah let's go max and we've been talking about wrinkles and stuff and where are you going you

got sitting in front of the mic what are you doing it's right here right here come on what are you doing uh field of dreams for the love of the game bull durham um why do you sounds like sixers sir a little kid 76ers yeah nuggets Hi. Grizzlies. Uh. Um. Bubbles.

Uh. Oat. Amond. A hole. Time. All right. 242, Max. Good job, Max.

Max. Max, go sit right there for Kate. You're speaking. like you just saw a monster. Yeah. I was scared. I was trying to read. Oh,

Oh, bubbles. Oh. All right, Kate. Come on, Kate. Happy birthday, Kate. Okay. You guys tell me when. All right.

When T.J. says we're ready. And then we have the final matchup today, Hank versus Mincey. Hank cannot lose. He cannot lose. he's he's distraught that owen is not in goal oh yeah conner's being a dick today i know that's i respect that yeah as long as he's consistent throughout the whole tournament he's doing a great job he just can't he can't let up for certain people okay kate's ready to go

ready oh no titus what happened did you leave the levers down when you got ice cream that's the burning sound drowning no burning sound was was me it's the last thing you want with an ice cream machine you got to leave up the levers boys oh no hot Jacob did text saying not to snitch and then mention me by yeah yeah mentioned me by name yeah mentioned me by name But he said not to snitch. Not to snitch. So it was not a snitch. He was worried about you snitching when he was the one that was in fact snitching.

Yeah. Got it. Yeah. All right. You ready, Kate? Well, I'll send out an email. We got to do the levers. I'll just never.

Lever's got to go up. A little sideways. I'll just never. I guess it's fuck the cream team. No. No. Oh, no. All right.

Cool. Not to sniff. You're going to leave the levers down all the time now. All right. That's a real burning smell, too. Okay. Ready, Kate? All right.

here we go three two one go take your time no wow oh oh oh oh shit kate is ripping that was a nice hit oh Yeah. Go football. Oh. Oh, Brandon. That's got to get better. That's his only job. Oh, no.

That's his only job. Oh, no. That didn't. That's it. Good, good, go, go. That's it is. This is a great time. Great time.

Great time. Okay. Okay. Holy shit. Or any style. Slow down, Kate, you got a good time. Oh! Oh, bags.

Let's go, Kate. Yeah? Oh. She's in trouble. I don't think she... What was a... I have 2.42. Yeah.

So she has a minute. Yeah. Oh! She's in trouble. Stamina. Yeah. This is... It's gonna be tough trivia for her.

oh boy she's just chucking on oh boy oh boy oh no oh no it's just going to die on this court oh she's going to die on this court oh no she just found it and it's going to be oh yes you're going to be advancing oh no It's getting pathetic. Oh, she's better that way? Oh. Oh. Oh, man. She's good at kicking.

And time. All right. Max, congratulations. You have advanced to the tournament. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. good job that was great effort all right tell hank and mincy to get in here decent kicks kate

all right so max will now be facing spider in round one oh my god yeah Kate good effort I think that's my first um cardio in like three years how's it feel tried really bad oh my god oh here they come here they come the boys mincy sit right here Hank I think you just unplug the TV that's a problem

that's a really big problem what do you think the line is on Hank versus me him by 15 seconds I don't know what you think it is I'd guess him about I'll say 13 and a half

I'd say 13 and a half I'm a little under a two touchdown dog here Two touchdown dog. Yeah, it's just broken. Yeah, the TV's just broken. That's a problem. Holy shit. You're all right, Kate?

No. You were looking great. Really? Yeah. You were looking right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I just can't hit threes anymore.

The second shot was a ton of them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hank, do you control that Twitter? account? No. I don't even know what Twitter account you're talking about, but the one that just yeah, that's interesting you'd say it like that. Do you think I'm

tweeting more than I want to be tweeting? I think this Twitter account we're talking about, yeah. What is it? It's just is Kate looking right. Oh. Oh, that was his line. I always forget. His drunken line. Just randomly I follow it. Damn.

Do you? I think so. You have to. Is Kate looking right? Oh, I'm looking right today. Nice. On her birthday. Oh, happy birthday. Thank you. It's 200th. The Marines. 250th birthday. Marine Corps. Are you right? Marine Corps ball. Hank, you're going to go first. Okay. So actually, Mincy go sit where Hank is. So Hank can come back here for the trivia. Are you ready, Hank? Yeah. You can't lose this. You cannot lose this. You know that, right? You can't lose to Mincy. I like the spot. There's nothing to lose for me. Well, nobody believes in me. Can't

hold the bags can't hold the bags there is something to lose you'd lose your matchup with hank good point chance of money chance of money a thousand bucks cash congrats on the wisconsin wind down thank you our leading passer was the punter i started watching that game there wasn't a completion until like 40 seconds left in the first half who were they playing he washington we went our punter went one for one for 24 yards and he's the leading pass. Oh, he was the pass. He was the final score. Thirteen town. What do you mean? What did the quarterback do? Like

three for six for like eight yards. Your heavyweight wrestler is good. We completed six passes. He is? All right. Fuck yeah. He's a contender from West Virginia. Oh, hell yes. Okay. Ready, Hank? All right.

Yeah, take a sip. Take a sip. Take a sip. Take a sip. Shout out body armor. This is our last matchup of the day. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Move Che. Is Chee too pink or is he pinking up to be pretty swaggy?

So pink. Oh, nice first kick. Oh, man, I'm in trouble. Wow. This is not good. Yeah. And Hank can shoot. Trivia is not Hank's strong suit, though.

I will see. We need them to, we need this to be bad. It's trending that way. He's hitting ground balls. What is going on? Hank. So you're telling me there's a chance. Titus yelling at the cream team right now?

That's pissed. Is Titus yelling at the cream team? Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. Look at that. He's having it out with that. He doesn't like to snitching.

Yeah. Good looking shot, Hank's got. Here you go, Hank. There you go, Hank. Trivia. Good time. Barricade Ashley. Orange, yellow, white.

Uh, six NFL teams. Bengals, Browns, Broncos, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas Ronald Dahl Time Ronald Dahl

Good time, hang 144 144 What time Ronald Dahl Is that Roll Dahl Is Dull on there?

Dull I don't know The 13 and a half Was a big enough one 144 I bet you he's up there man Dahl on there No

No Where were you the best Best Selling Fiction Oh yeah How'd you put you that? Ronald? You went with Willie Walker.

Roll doll. I've heard that name in decade. Hank's actually, Hank's a reader. He's about to embark on reading Don Quixote. Oh. Yeah. A thousand page on. I can't get over.

Roll doll. Have you guys read it? No. Are you familiar with dolls work? I know, doll. What's he done? Peach? I am Peach.

Stuart Little? He was James, yeah. Oh, he's got some hits. all right mincy i've read some rolled he did the that was good that you went first this fucking guy eliminate mince wait yeah what i want to eat you get eyes on mad oh no there's an update i regret snitching directly on mark we talked it out and are you is it still fucking cream team oh no he said his point of view was that if he because i asked him i was like why can't you it was an honest mistake i take responsibility but i felt like jacob could have just told you the

smell is that someone yeah didn't push the lever he said mark and he said mark and he he specifically named me. I said, why did you have to name me? And he said that he thought if he didn't name me, you would try to figure out who it was and in their life. Even more embarrassing. And he felt like we should just name me and address the problem we can move on. Okay. Don't forgive him just yet. But I haven't quite forgiven him, but it's something to think about. There's something to think about. I hate to see my boys fighting. Yeah. But I'm a Jacob guy. I always have been. I just thought. Yeah. The naming of names. Naming of names immediately. Quickly. And he said not to snitch. Well, and also you.

You can't also text me that live on air. I'm going to read it out loud. I didn't even have time to process it. I just saw not to snitch. Mark fucked up the ice cream machine. I blame the strawberry, really. Yeah, fuck the strawberry. I think it's the strawberry.

I never had this problem. I never had this problem. Of course you do. It's lactate-free. I can have lactose, but I think it's great. No, you can't. It's really good. Okay, ready, Mincy?

Thank you. All right, here we go. Should be chocolate. I agree. I don't look of it. Three, two, one, go. Good time, Hank, by the... Great time, Hank. Great time.

Oh, Jesus Christ. No, I expect him a whiffball to be my... What's he doing? This is why we had Mincey go second. Where do you think he'll end? First basketball. First basketball. Oh!

Love to be proven wrong. Mincey does have a better overall time than Hank before this. Oh, wow. That's why he was higher-seated. Uh-oh. That one. Fluorescent light really fucks it up. Oh, strike two.

Oh, good things. Ooh! What's squeaking? What's that noise? Why is he... Is that his shoes or his body? Why is he also like choking up on a pitch? He's giving himself.

You think people know that football comes after game. Mincy's best time is 3-7. Hanks before this was sports. Towards the basketball. Oh. I think we're still. I think we're still on the bar for your prediction, KV. Oh yeah.

Oh, yeah. Maybe it might be here. Come on, mid-see. Oh. All right. Kyle. Gotta be right. Can't make one.

There's no way. Engage Kyle's fucking different. Yeah, he is. Come on. It's really grunken, dude, really. Whoa. We reacted like it means something, but it doesn't. And time.

Congrats, Hank. That was a must win. Yeah, it was a must win. Must win can't lose. I only ran it one time and I had a really bad time. So I'm happy it was for something. To get on the better side. Yeah.

All right, so Hank is advanced. So we have our advanced. Hank is going to go up again. Oh. Tighten. All right. And the strawberry kiwi. Wow.

There's some good. What's the, is that tomorrow? Yeah, well, we're going to do four more tomorrow. Right, TJ? We're going to do one side tomorrow. Believe so, yeah. Yeah. And then one side on Wednesday.

Then we'll be at, I can't count. That would be a round of eight. would be down to? Eight will be Thursday and then the final four would be Friday. I think Ebo wins this whole thing.

Yeah. The Spider Max Ebo White Boy, because Spider has like the, I think the second or third best time, that's a tough bracket.

Ebo's only done it like once or twice, hasn't he? Yeah. I think so. Very fast each time. I like your draw Titus if you can get by Hank.

That shouldn't be a problem. What the fuck? I'm saying if he can get by Hank. That's not it. So you like my draw then? too i do like your driving get by titus okay great the cate dana that was fucked up sounds like you just don't like donnie or luca that would be

exactly what i'm saying that's like what you're saying i think that will be don'tio lucas so whoever wins titus hank that's basically that's that's that's the that's the uh brackets that quadrants finals yeah yeah yeah you hate that it breaks out that way but that's how it went down yeah okay um i think that's it you guys got to get to the airport uh they canceled our flight already yeah oh yeah yep i'm getting fixed i don't know wondering why you were so calm i'm chilling we're chilling so 10 p.m so i do need to leave soon oh 10 p.m we get to memphis by midnight now if the

whole trip got canceled would you be pissed happy because that's a great cancellation obviously like doing rediscovering america but like yeah i think it's a good product it's fun to do but uh like a week where you thought you had to travel that yeah that would be nice incredible that would be nice yeah but we really need to get this video done yeah okay yeah we got the first half the guy i got set up for y'all to hang out with it's gonna be something oh i'm telling you oh i mean he he he you got him yeah he like when he goes canoeing and stuff he thinks the mississippi river's talking to him oh so it's it should be good this really good yeah is it maybe it'll get canceled is talking to him i don't know but we're gonna find out he's like a rough rider

Yeah, he has, like, canoeing expedited. Uh-oh. We go. Chase. Oh, wow. Where's this, T.J? Let's go. I thought I was with them from.

L.A. L.A. Buckle up. What's going to be? O.J. thing? I'm pretty sure. It's a minivan. Minivan and it's not OJ.

It's not a White Rockah. It's probably not a Heisman trophy winner in there. Probably. Probably. Reggie Bush. On the wheel. He is. This guy's technique.

Yeah, he's driving very safe for a high speed. This is way too safe. Oh, he's drifting. Does he have his turn signal on? Or like 50 minutes under this chase. 50 minutes? 50? I mean, the guy's driving really well.

Is that a Honda Odyssey? Because they do not have four-wheel drive. That might be important in this. Okay, thank you. Good to know. It's a really good. It's snow. Yeah, what are we doing with that information, Jay?

I mean, if you need to, good. Yeah, off-roading, yeah. I concede. Yeah. So far, he has not. No rules. But a lot can change. Have you guys run a police chase?

Would you ever go off-road or not? I think I'm going straight to the ocean. Yeah, Mike, there's so many there. Like, they all know how it ends, typically one way or the other. like is every new guy being like I'm going to be the one I think they want to yeah gets away I'm just going right to Mexico climbing the wall yeah you could scale that thing yep just drive right there I wonder how they feel when they're doing it yeah do you think there's at any point like man I kind of wish I didn't do this yeah I think after 50 minutes they accept their fate fear loses its function and they're just chilling yeah I think they kind of like what is it when you disconnect your brain for your body They're just kind of like, hope. Yeah, they just associate. Have we ever gotten an answer to why this happened so much in L.A.?

Or is it just they have the most helicopters? I think it's the policing, right? Did we say that, T.J. or something? I think they don't try to ram them. I think they have more helicopters. I think it's because it's a very highway-dependent city. And I think, yeah, it happens so often because they let them just run themselves out of gas because it would cause more of an issue if they intercepted them.

Where are the cops? Yeah. Yeah, where are the cops? Can we zoom out? They're probably falling in a safe distance. Zoom out, TJ. And are all these people criminals to an extent that we root against them? Or like some of these people?

I always root for them. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Nice zoom out. You always root for them regardless. Regardless. Okay. Just for the sake of the under-

Like, is there a world where this guy just didn't use a turn signal and the cops were like going to pull him over and he panicked and was just like, fuck it. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're all probably grave crimes. Yeah. I generally don't know it. In order to do this.

I think I'm rooting for them to get away and then get arrested later for something else. Okay. Because like the getaway doesn't happen. It'd be cool to see one. Would they have to just give up? I'd be happy with one, like, go on foot and they tackle them. Yeah. But again, never.

We have to know what they did. How much does this add to your penalty? Because it has to be like a lot. Yeah. It's a lot of endangerment, right? So in order to do that, you almost have to be looking at a steep time already. Does this take you probably to life? You can't do this and not be in jail for life, or can you?

I think you're, like, they're chasing him because he stole a car, and then, like, every traffic infraction adds on to. That's up. Everyone knows that. What happened? Do we lose it? Oh, no. If you knew you were going to die in, like, two hours, would you do this?

I feel like I would. Endanger other people? Probably. I'd probably just yak with my boys. Two hours? A yak and a beat. Yeah. I'd probably try all the drugs I was wondering.

Well, I've spent time with my kids, I guess. Yeah, I'd probably. But then I think I'd do drugs. Last 10 minutes, I'd do some drugs. If I didn't have kids, I'd do drugs. I don't think two hours is like, you just, I think I would just sit and be like, all right, well, that's. Yeah, I'd probably stay put. Hypothetically, you want to be like, oh, I'd do all these awesome stuff, but two hours.

Two hours isn't a lot. It's just like, yeah, I'd just cry a shit. shitload and that'd be it I just cry and crying yeah there are like people that are dying that get to see like a movie that hasn't come out yet do you think they can even focus because I know like I think George

Lucas lets some people watch some Star Wars that hasn't come out yet oh that's cool but like do you think you'd even enjoy it or be like what if it sucked yeah that would that would be a bummer Stephen Jay reviews his last movie I only laughed four times I left four times out loud

Oh, yeah, you're dying, dude. Is this, we're just never going to, he's, we got to get him off this. He's going too slow. Wait, so Titus, were you the one who left the levers up? I was, yeah, I take responsibility for that. But the snitching. Yeah. Is the problem?

And is that what smells? I think that is what smells, yeah. Is it working now? What I was trying to explain to Jacob and something to look into is I never had that problem with the chocolate. Oh, good point. I've, I've poured myself many occasions. cone never once have I

fucked up the lever so I just went off muscle memory this is the first strawberry I had yep makes you think totally different makes you think but uh yeah he snitched he snitched hard he did snitch and he knew he shouldn't

that's the thing he knew better he said not to snitch he said I don't want to sit anywhere of a snitch Hank how was your drive home last night pad yeah it's crazy I was the only car on the road. There was a lot of cars on the road going really slow.

Oh really? It took me like 25 minutes, 30 minutes. Wow. Where's Brandon? Lingering. It's probably because it's the boil or whatever they're doing. I bet you're already also could be

hovering. Hovering. Yeah. All right, yeah, we should actually go because I know they have a big party planned. Look at that. Wow. Look at all. Yeah. I went to the gym This morning, Carol. Let's go. Two weeks, two weeks.

Gone for two weeks. Two weeks straight. Well, three times a week for two weeks. Think about that. Yeah, I think if you just do it once a week. Whose body just made that noise? Somebody just drown a little bit? I'm fucking nervous.

Are you? Yeah. Oh, KB, are you getting your surgery finally? January 20th. Whoa, that's exciting. I know. Then you'll be able to chug. I've met dudes.

like out on the town they're like it changed my life what's the first thing that's great do just burp burp have a coke and burp yeah it's a fur that's like life changing what's that first hour it's going to feel nice to like get that relief yeah I fart so much it's so bad oh by the way we didn't it's kind of similar to this we're doing the case race next week and we've come up with a way to do this one I don't know if you were no no I think I might have texting it. So we're going to do, and we'll let people bet on it with their friends, but we're going to have a football game clock from a real game, no commercials, and we're just going to run the clock, and it's going to be how many beers we can finish as an entire team in the length of a football game. Very Thanksgiving. We'll be dressed up football players, pilgrims, all that. And then our halftime entertainment is going to be Stephen Chey versus Brandon Walker in a turkey eating car. contest nice nice and uh well yeah we'll have to think of some of the wrinkles for but we wanted

to do one where it's like not us all competing we're just going to get drunk together as friends so there was somebody we had on the show today that said i'll see you next week and they don't want to embarrass themselves anymore can we have malicek drink with us yes oh we got to get him back to get him i actually think he will be here that on that thursday yeah we got we got a blackmail this guy We got to get him to do something embarrassing. Oh, he will, yeah. Have you spoken to Malasek, Hank? I know.

I watched the interview you guys had with him. He was very snarky. Yeah. He's moved on. He thinks we're losers. All right, fellas. I'll give you a minute. Yeah.

I got a minute of my time. It's wagging his finger. Yeah. Before I have to press volume up on my laptop. I have to change the brightness of the laptops. I can see the chicklets guys. I got important shit I'm doing Yeah, we done here

Yeah I got chicklets and tans He thinks he's Gruden I have Gruden's podcast in ten I have Gruden's chores in ten Yeah we're gonna get him wasted Yeah Get him to a miss

Yeah Okay I guess that's the show I mean I don't think we're This guy's He's not He's doing this forever Yeah he's not doing anything cool I would be down if he got off the highway, but he's just, and I'm kind of getting frustrated with the cops.

Like, do something, police. Right? He looks like he's going to make it. To where? Yeah, right. Just cruising. I feel like he's like not a nuisance to society at all. I feel like he's a good guy.

Good head on his shoulder. Great shooter. The way he's holding the wheels. Yeah. To get a beer with him. Well, the little I know of this guy, I kind of like him. Is there traffic coming up? Do you think he's listening to music?

Do you think they listen to music? I bet they do. They're probably making some calls. Yeah. It'd be cool if we ever had a yak listener. That would be awesome, calling in from the chase. Oh, that would be so fast. Would we be accomplices, though?

We'd probably have to be, like, pull over, but if we were a little supportive, we'd be accomplice. Someone's definitely going to do that now. Oh. no what's your level of respect for biker gangs high extremely high yeah i'm newfound high on them are you have you been watching task now i was on um i was driving in california and saw these uh bikers they had mongols on their back cool i was like look at these like fat losers then i looked them up they get tricky yeah everything you don't want to fuck with a crime violence drug trafficking yeah i kind of respect them you should go to myrtle beach bike week for me and

eddy one but are those like the gang members oh no hard and yeah those are guys with motorcycles yeah divorce dads yeah yeah they like to get fucked up and yeah this is getting a little tricky ear oh oh oh no is that a cop behind him or no i think that's a cop directly behind him yes He's starting to have to weave a little. Has anyone ever ridden a motorcycle? I'm speeding up. Going 100. Look at that.

Oh, shit. He's going to a hundred? Never. We stick of there for a second. No motorcycle riders? Oh, no. Never will. No, never will.

Uh, moped. Moped's a fucking sick. Mopeds are awesome. I had a moped in college. He's kidding. What are they saying? Can we listen? Make sure you have, you know, the first, the lead vehicle has,

less than lethal on board. I've seen him try to use spike strips, tossing them out across the freeway to try to bring this thing to a stop. With somebody was in my ear just moments ago

said, you know, maybe this is some sort of custody case and there might be children in there. Oh, that's, you know, really would change things up dramatically. I hope that's not what this is, I definitely hope that is not what I may say

Maybe retract that I want to get a beer with that guy's statement. Well, no, his kids might be cool. They're not going to stop. You know, they're not law enforcement. It turns out the guy speeding away from the cops might actually have an asshole. Yeah, it would have thought. Also, really funny

that we're like never even thought their kids could be in a minivan. Yeah, that's number one. Assuming it was one dude. Jim. Yeah. That was my first thought, but I didn't want to be a downer. DJ, why don't you spin the wheel that way we just, in case we have a wet.

Yeah, let's get it. Yeah. I don't. I feel nothing. I thought you were about to announce something else. Oh, come on. Do not fuck us. Oh, stop.

This is good Pretty good Mincy Did you win your game of the week Probably did not Hank did you Would you guys like to Yeah

Try to earn an extra wheel slice Hell yeah Of course So you want to spin Go what I need to do It's just me versus you If you lose I get your slice

And if you win You get one of mine Awesome Okay Do it But then you also can't refuse any double or nothings whatever you want oh yeah dana you didn't do yours yet wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait what what what you can't refuse any double or

nothing's pretty clear so you're just going to go until you went whatever no I mean I would like I have I have 20 exactly I want a shot of he could take them all from me just take them all he could take them all if you win one single time I get a slice okay I'm not oh I mean, fuck it, but like that, that's not fair. Why is that not fair? Because you're just going to, you're going to go 20 times. And odds are, you're going to have to hit one. You'd think, but you never know, but it's double or nothing.

You flipped a quarter 20 times. Oh, my God. Double reset. Spin it again. That never happened? I don't know. No, but Hank, it escalates. I mean, if I, if you win the first one, you have one, then we go double or nothing.

It's for two. Then you go double or nothing. It's for four. So it's, I only have like, six spins. True. It's like blackjackball. What's the most amount of money you've ever won at once, Ben? At once, one time, 76,000.

Feech. Damn, at a poker tournament? Full tilt. It was a full-tilt online poker series event. Is this one, yeah. It was a party days? We did it real big that week after that. I had a week where I won 95K an online poker during Jazz Fest 2010 right after the Saints.

Oh, my God. We left it all in the field, the 26-year-old. We're still talking about that. on New Orleans I was wearing my Tracy Porter Do you ever have acid flashbacks

right now yeah it did the feel a little yeah just like you get that deja vu feeling like

different time in place yeah wait they're going the other way now are they going up into the

grape pine or whatever now I'm saying he's 30 oh whoa

is that the speed You had 90? Oh, Kim Peltin. Happy Monday Birthday I gotta go shoot a video Love you guys Let me dance

I'm there I can tell you We probably got another Oh I don't know There's no exits here For a long time Yeah It's really stuck

So about two minutes Maybe three minutes Of actual This is what's going on time And Where are we Looks beautiful Look at that

Oh, Titus, you ever been there? Not a good day for that, Dan. That's really good. No, I thought of you this morning. It's going to melt a day. I was on Zah's on Zillow all morning. Is he worried about it? Is it true?

People are saying this is supposed to be the coldest win. It's perfect. You know anything about this, Dan? They're saying this is supposed to be the cold. I don't think they can predict that. Thought of some vortex from over London or something? I have no idea. That concerns me.

is it is it 20 of your slices on the wheel versus like no one-on-one one-to-one you want to do it yeah all right mincy you want to go first sure okay so just make a wheel me my name and mincy split up four times i was close in my parlor i had like over 280 each on drake at may and mayfield they had like 273 and 270 i'm going strictly 100 to ones Yeah, dominate it. I just won 100 slices. That would be sick. Oh, my God, you'd own everything.

You'd have to win. I'll probably end up with 100 slices by the end of this week. How many overall slices are on the one? I don't know. Okay. You ready, Mincy? Split it up, so it's a little, you know. There you go.

Yeah, keep it like that, though. Donnie would be like, oh, yeah, yeah. I am going to give some to Donnie. just out of what are we doing there we go oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh there it is there it is all right

if it lands in your name you get an extra slice lands out mine i take your slice you ready want this to be the final no what's up you want to do a test one or you want to do a Let's do a final. Let's run it. One time. There we go, Mincy.

There we go. I now have 21. 21 slices. Can't book them all. All right. You had to do it. You had to do it. Oh, no doubt.

Yeah, you had to. No regrets. Hank would you like? Hank, you want to go five for five against him? Yeah. I think I just need four. Did the mat. Five.

Yeah. Okay. But 16. I don't know. you can't really double or nothing if I have 16. Well, I could give you future slices. Could you? Yeah, why not?

There's no rules. I mean, I make the rules. All right. I give you future slides. You could get my next 16 future slice or whatever I had to pay off. I sanctioned Danny Comrade's future slices because he missed his flight this morning. Do you get them all? No, Chef Donnie.

I gave him a shift on. Oh, nice. Yeah, no. I wouldn't do that. That'd be crazy. You could have. I could have. Okay, ready, Hank?

I'm ready. Final? Yeah. Sure? Yeah. Oh. Come on. Come on. Okay.

Okay. All right, Hank, you now have two slices. I now have him back down to 20. I'd like to go double enough. I love that. Let's go. Let's ride. Okay.

Come on. This is for two slices. Come on. Go. Push. Push. push push oh it's close oh

would you like to go one slice for one slice again yes okay let's do it wait does he have slices yeah no we went double or nothing so he's he yeah he's not one slice no he's got one slice he's got one slice he's not the premise of double or nothing yeah I don't get the slice

yeah I got one slice I got one slice he's got one slice he's got one slice yeah there's no nothing oh you're right there's no nothing future slice no you don't have a slice I'll give you a future. I have, do I have both of your slices now? Yeah. I have 23 slices.

I'll give you a future. Are you going to get a slice debt? No, I have 22 slices. Yeah, 22 slices. Twice you said it? Slice debt, yeah. So Hank only has one left. Would you like to, you want to risk a future slice?

Yeah. I just got to win five times. And I got 32 slices. You don't get that opportunity many times. A good spot. Yeah, you're sitting pretty with zero. I think I'm good with my 22 slices. I came and I conquered. I took two slices today. I'm now up to 22. You're going to have

like 85. Oh, yeah. 23. What? You try to double or nothing without doubling or nothing. Yeah. I was my fault. All right. Yeah, it's working out for you. This is so far so good. 22 slices. Sank. I might give you one out of the kindness of my heart. Take a shot. You can you you could earn it now i'm good for today there's a long week i got a lot of slices i might give you one okay i'm sad i don't have one anymore what would you do for a slice i'd take a shot i'd i'd risk i'd put up what if i do two future slices okay okay this is your arm two two future slices for one slice yeah one slice yeah one slice And that's all you need.

You just need to get a foot in the door. So I have 22 slices right now. I'm going for, I'm either going to have 21 or I'm going to have 22 and two future slices from Hank. I love that. It's like how I, where I was been working the saints. Yeah, I'm going to own every draft. Yeah, it's like, it's like working saint.

Okay. Yeah. You know split it up more? More slices, Hank? No, like this looks good. So you want this to be final? Yeah. Okay.

You sure? Yeah. Do you like where that? Do you want to do one? Do one-stopper is? Do one eliminator, hang. You want to do one eliminator? Do one.

All right, let's do one. One eliminator? Just do one. Okay. So this is an eliminator. You decide. Eliminate. Okay.

Come on. Nice. There we go. Wow. Smart. One more eliminator, all but guarantees. You probably do one more. After that, you statistically should do one more.

Yeah, I'll do another eliminator. Okay. Wow. All right. You just eliminate. You might as well eliminate. You might as well. Now you're at a point where you have.

Yeah, you have to. Yeah. Yeah, the odds of it landing on Big Cat are way better than it landing on hang. In a good spot, hang. All right. Great call. Ooh. You're so good.

Yeah, you're so good. You might as well. Only need one. And the big cat slice is bigger. Yeah, you just got to eliminate me once. All right, we'll eliminate. Okay, all right. Oh, no, Hank.

All right, we'll do one more eliminator. Ooh, do you want to do an eliminator or a final? Oh, no here. Do you want me to split it up to make it look at you? You want to split it up? Yeah. Okay, let's split it up. All right, so is this Eliminator or final?

I think we've got to keep going with Eliminator. Oh, okay. This is Eliminator? Yeah. Okay. Oh. I would like to say final. On the next one.

You want to go final? I would like to keep elimination. But you've had bad luck on Eliminator. Yeah. I started hot. Yeah, but I think you just got to go final. No, one more. Oh, more eliminate.

No, I think this is the final. I think you got to go final. You got to go final. Go ahead and eliminate. All right, eliminate. That was a bad idea. But next one's final. That's a bad idea.

I think next one you got to go final. Yeah, it worked out for you. All right. Good job. All right. That's why we keep eliminating. We've gotten 50. You want to eliminate one more?

Let's go final. Final. Yeah. Okay. Final. Come on. Yes. look at that well played Hank

you have your slice back all right yeah what did we land what do you have I have 21 Hank has his one slice back and mincy has zero yes how bad do you want that slice you got to double that slice

one now back to 1v1 I'm not I put up two there yeah okay we'll go 1v1 all right one final final okay one v1 this is a really good this is final right here

yeah this is final oh get more get more so now you have two I'd like to double enough okay now we go now we go final yeah I have 20 final yeah I have 20

yeah I have two yeah about to be four you'd have to double again right oh he's going for a hole There we go, Hank. Oh, Hank. What are you at? He's got four.

Eight. I have. So now what do I have? 17? No. Yes. I have 17. Yes.

All right. Let's go. Oh, come on. He's trying to get eight. Eight would be huge. It would be so huge. Come on. The plan is working.

Hank. Oh, he's got eight. Get them all. Get them all. He's got eight. Keep going. 13. I have 13. Yeah. All right. I'd like to go one more. Come all. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh, that's one. Oh, my God. What does he have? 18. 16. 16. A five. All right. All right. Let's go double enough. Let's go. Do you go double in a little? Yeah. Future real spins. Come on. Get all my futures. Do I pay off. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. This is it. What is the last spin. One way or another. No, I could go keep going future. okay you're gonna run out of you can't guarantee that many future there's

in the same spot you were I can guarantee that many how I will I will pay off the debt what do you mean we have a lot of weeks left well how about do you want those five offer five of years no no we're going double or nothing you said you go double or nothing one more this is for 35 and you'd be at negative yeah yeah to you so it's for five more to you an 11 future so you will always have us yeah you'll have I'll just be paying off and I'm gonna hit another parley you know that all right all right and it's up to you i i don't really have a choice yeah no we're gonna we're gonna we're we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna go double or nothing you know this would have to this so this

yeah it's huge come to eliminate no i want to go final you want to go final right now yeah final come on oh my god thank i owe my future oh everything i want to go again because i'm gonna just keep giving my future Yeah, I said I could go to like... How long are we doing this promotion? I could go forever. I want to go future. I'm going to pay off forever.

This is, I would like... I said I wanted to go for... I said I could go for future forever. Can I keep 10? Like, I want 10. No, no, no, no. You have to go double enough. What are the rules? What were the rules?

I have 30... Does everyone remember the rules? Does everyone remember the rules? Before we started. I said, we can spin for first slices, but we have to go double or nothing to I say... We've lost. So stop. But like...

Hank is a very nice Let's go All right now I have 21 and 11 futures is what you ever have And if I win this I have 64 Correct

And then we're just gonna keep going That's not but how You can't What were the rules? This is so dumb Is anyone know the rules? I get zero This is fucking stupid

You agreed to the rules But you've you've just changed the rules So that it's free to win How did I change any of the rules You can't guarantee that many slices When there's like 11 weeks left

These are the rules Yeah Okay Spin the wheel Let's let's just end the I'll give you a limiter You might as well go eliminate You get a zero

I just go into debt You get all the slices You just keep doing this every day Whatever Oh Don't be mad at me That you just realized What I was doing

Yeah I mean it's fun to gamble When you don't have any chance of a loser I wish I could do that That was the joke I didn't realize I thought this was like All right well now you've ruined it You just take all my slices

That's fine Thanks got two slices this week I won them I understand, Hank, but do, okay. No, let's go. Let's keep spinning. No, no, no, Hank's got my slices. At one point, were you at zero today?

Yeah, and then I risk two future slices. You got all the at the 21. Yeah. And 11. He's got all my slices. All the slices. And all the futures. I'll keep spinning.

No, no, we're good. Let's do one more. We're done. If you had 60 some, you're, that's a guarantee. Well, I know, but then he's going to be like a good one again. But 60 is so much different. How many do you have 20? I'm down to spinning.

You got 20. You got 20 and. 20 and then 11 is 21 and 11 yeah let's spin again no we're we're not he the max he can have on this wheel this week is 21 20 21 21 so that means you you'll be here Thursday to yeah spend the wheel yeah yeah yeah I like the sound of that yeah yeah yeah yeah you'll do I'm down to spin again no we're good I got him you got all 21 I will clear my schedule All right And I owe you 11

Future Pretty good deal Yeah that was fun And then Thursday You'll win the bonus bet Statistically yeah You have to You have to

It's looking like it Yeah Poor chef Donnie man Oh chef Donnie's gonna be pissed Oh you got Danny's How many does Danny have One Okay

He's got two I had two Is better than one Do you want to try to win You want to be one more spin no you no we're you you you you wanted to opt out i didn't want to opt out i'm just confused on the the future like how you're yeah i was joking that i was going to do this with everyone and basically take everyone's slices all week long you got upset we're gonna you get my

slices well that was the go that i was going to get everyone into a one-on-one you were you were taking people's slices that part wasn't a joke no i know that's i agree i was going to end up with 100% of the wheel and then i was going to just start gifting them to everyone got it yeah i didn't realize that was that was your plan i thought when you said offered one v one i was i didn't realize it was just a you're going to win this bonus part of a you're going to win it and you're probably going to win it the next week yeah if i have 11 next week they're all to you future slices so you were going to get everyone's and then i was going to start giving them out to everyone and like chef donnie was going to get 20 you could do that we're going to have just a shit

show of us yeah i mean i don't want to ruin the plan i'm down to donate donate my slices i'll take some man No, no, no. Like, I didn't realize. I didn't realize it was a... It was going back to 100, and then it all divvied out. Yeah, I mean, I don't care about winning the bonus bet. I was never going to try to win the bonus, but I was going to try to get everyone to come in and spin wheels to try to figure out if they got slices.

Let's spin again, then. No, it's good. You got it. You're going to win. More chef on it. Yeah, we're good. Yeah. This is best case scenario.

This is best case. Yeah. Best case. I don't think. I don't think. I feel like... I don't think you think that. It's best case scenario.

I don't think you think that. I'd say it's best case scenario. You're here Thursday? This Thursday? You got golf or something? No, it's snowing. So be here? Podcast, yeah.

All right. All right. Sweet. Good show. We just lost Kate and Brandon. Yeah, Brandon never came back up in Scotland. Never even close to coming back. That is the end of the show for him.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we've got to make sure we do it. But he is the early morning on mostly sports. so that's true that's true that's true all right we'll see everyone tomorrow It's the act It's the yak. It's a yak.