The Yak - KB's Life is in Danger Thanks to a Failed Prank Call | The Yak 3-30-23

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Sounds like death is happeningYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello. The Barstool Yak. Welcome back. Thank you for joining us. You're with Roan, KB, and Kate here off to my right. Maybe a unique crew, maybe a first-timer.

This crew, yeah, I think it is. Yakagami? I think it may be a Yakagami. Before we talk about anything, have we talked about Roback? I was waiting for you to sit down, because you are the voice of Roback. This morning, I'm pulling on my favorite joggers i was like man let me make sure that these are roback because they're sponsored by obviously roback sponsors the yak i pull them on they are roback for two years straight my favorite joggers have been roback and i'm just living in this roback world of enhanced comfort

with the performance joggers. We love Roback. Best fit, best feel, quality, comfort, material. Everything's just top notch. In fact, me and KB have a side chat where we talk about the quality of Roback's clothing. Admit. Nah. What would you say? I love it. I would say I love it.

I think it's the best fit. It's the best feel, it's high tech they have every color I like they don't have the colors I don't like we didn't add that part to the group chat so you might be a welcome addition to it because there's just so much good stuff they don't have the colors Nick doesn't like

but they also have performance hoodies softest hoodies that we own out here and man they go with the joggers so well. There's rarely a more comfortable combo. Use code YAK on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase through the end of this week. That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, 20% off performance hoodies, joggers, polos with code YAK. Get ready for the spring With Roback

Later in the episode we're going to have John Rich pop in Who's dropping a video today Of a secret project he's been He's been working on Bring him in now for all that give a shit He's on Lights Camera right now Son of a bitch Anyone else? Any prospects out there?

Yeah I wouldn't mind scouting the office So this man right here Talking to Ebony if we can cut to him He gave me a flash drive With his buddy's music He has his own music He's a rapper himself His buddy's name is Punchline Q

I believe which is a great rap name But he's been wanting to come in Should we have him on? I think so. He was just trying to sing slash rap battle me in the lobby as I walked in. Does he know that your rap battle is now on YouTube for watch?

He must have seen that I'm vulnerable right now. He must have seen that I'm down some bars. I just dumped out some bars and he wants to fucking... He wants to take me out. How long does it take to replenish the bars? Like a concerted effort? Am I drilling for bars, or am I just passively the wells filling up?

I think a passive replenish. I think that would take longer, but if I'm drilling, you can find the water table pretty fast. Do they drill for water? They do. They do? That's how they get water? Yeah, sometimes. Interesting. Do they drill for water? They do. They do? That's how they get water? Yeah, sometimes. Interesting.

Article? You read an article? I read a long read about it. He read a 700-page book on drilling for water. Yes. It was a delight. It was great. That seems like an easy question, but it wasn't for me.

It wasn't for me either. I thought wells were just kind of natural, and then they built the things around it. Did you see the guy who found a well in his kitchen? Yes. What? He was renovating his house and it looked like a normal ass kitchen. They peeled back the thing and it was like an old 18th century, something like a kid would fall down. Did he just move in or he had been living there for a while?

His parents and then his parents before them, their parents before them I thought had lived there. Or did he just move in? I don't remember. Well in the kitchen? It was like a well-ass well. A well-ass well. In one, I would have found that. You would have.

You would have. I don't think you would have. Have you ever done the experiment with clothes hangers? You bend two clothes hangers, and then you hold them real loose. And whenever you're over hollow ground, they cross automatically. What? It's called dousing rods, I believe. Or divining rods, right?

It works whenever you're over a casket as well because it senses when anything is hollow. What? Yeah, they're awesome. I used to work at an orphanage and I would take the kids out and scare them. We would make them and I would go scare the kids. You don't think those kids are scared enough? I know, I know.

No, they aren't. They don't give a shit. they have no fear no orphans yeah because they they were saying that could happen happened they lived in our computer classroom and well outside of in a different our school growing up they would always run amok and i worked there every summer in high school they still have orphanages oh yeah what that has to be the number one building that burns down, right? Got to be. Well, the firefighters just don't bother fixing it.

Is firefighter a slur in Korea? Got to be. I was watching that Physical 100 game show. Wait, what is that? It's like 100 of the most brolic-y Koreans you could ever imagine. Men and women. They're like celebrities there. Koreans have my favorite physique of human.

They have incredible physique. It's like if LeBron joined this show in America, some of the guys, their best athletes. And don't they do like intergender wrestling? Yeah, I'm only on episode two. What's it on? Netflix. The hell?

Yeah, it's kind of slow. They were just hanging for a while. They made two episodes out of just hanging from a bar. We've done like 700 episodes of just hanging. I was just at the 400 Club meeting for Yak episodes. Lonely as hell.

Wait a minute. I'm close. Who's next? You next? Cat's next, and then I. No, bro. We put in easily 500 before you guys got here. This is YouTube.

YouTube's different. They're writing us out of history. It's an eyeball game now. You were an ear jockey. I really was. Yeah, it was a tough time back then trying to make our physical gags work. We were doing some physical shit when it was just. When it was, yeah.

When did we start doing, like, sandwiches and stuff like that? Yeah, that was in. Radio? Late 2020. I think our first draft was Radio. When did they start filming things? When did they bring cameras into the Yak studio? We'd always had

cameras for clips. No, we'd always had cameras for clips. Yeah. But we didn't put the whole show out in clips because we had the deal of Sirius. I'd miss those fuckers. Gonzo They're the best Fuck yeah

I would clip for the Yak account I would just Screen record some YouTube Of me like making a joke Just you? Did you ever Yeah Anyone else?

I don't think Yeah bro That's how I would've did it too This is an official Yakagami This is? Oh Connor Griffin If it holds

How would it How would it break If someone else came in That we had already had On the Yak? This is an official Yakagami. This is? On a Griffin, if it holds. How would it break if someone else came in that we had already had on the Yak? Because anyone new at it still holds as a Yakagami. Right. If we bring in John Rich, it's still a Gami. Yeah, that's still a Gami. But is it two Gamis or one? I think it's just the one with John Rich, and then it would nullify this Yakagami of the four of us. As soon as John Rich comes in, this foursome is thrown by the wayside. What's the word? What's going on?

I got a—or my sister did Ancestry.com. She just got the results back. So that counts for you as well? I think so, unless— Unless your parents— Yeah, if it was starkly different, that would be a problem. But as of now, I'm black. We knew.

We've been knowing. Ben knew. 100%. 100%? Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome. That is awesome. Thank you, man.

I traced my ancestry back to my grandpa online. That's as far back as I could find. Is he on Twitter? No, no, no, he's dead. But he said he was a pot boy in Albania. A pot boy? Yeah. Like a beef dealer?

No, he washed pots. Oh, your grandpa lived in Albania? With my grandparents yeah Damn So you're fresh off the boat Is that British drill song about Albania? You know it What is it?

Albania Is that it? Shit about Albania Fucking Albania I know how they would say it I'm Irish and Italian When I lived up in woodlawn in the bronx the irish and the albanians were always bumping oh yeah heads it was turf war still going on i don't know if still i was like 10 years ago now but i'm a human i got three percent greece and albania three percent

really brother brother and greek i didn't know i had any greek in me three percent pretty fucking I got 3% Greece and Albania. 3%. Really? Brother? Yeah, brother. And Greek. I didn't know I had any Greek in me. 3%? Pretty fucking sick. No Jewish. Bummer. We knew. What was the giveaway?

I got a tread. You got this. You got this. What was the giveaway it was a parent what was it it was a parent he's saying

it was one of my parents oh yeah yeah yeah that's what it was we're gonna do some putting later on too yeah the show TaylorMade is a sponsor now we won't talk about that

for the time being I asked if we could have the putters and they said yeah as long as you keep them in the office. Then no. We're going to play nine holes of driver wood and iron golf in here

and finish with a putter. Those are ours, but we've got to stay. I think we're four of the biggest golfers in the office. Oh, huge. I think we're four of the biggest golfers in the office. Oh, huge. The amount that we golf. I was at the virtual golf. I was stuck in the sand pit at St. Andrews, and I was clearly never going to get it out because I was right on the edge.

And I kept swinging, and it kept hitting the edge going back, and it was terrible. Between stints at the orphanage, I worked at a putt-putt course, Foggy Bottom. Damn, I feel like that's a tough job to get. Putt-putt, I feel like it's so desirable.

Oh, I remember if you shot something, your picture got up on the wall. That's right. Owner. If you shot an 18. That's impossible.

Damn. Good course, though. How long did you work there? Summers in high school and one in college. damn good course though how long did you work there? summers summers in high school and one in college yeah I feel like Pirate Island

like down the shore that's like an impossible job to get yeah because everybody's in the shore town trying to get the hot ticket item

this was a putt-putt bounce house laser tag bowling alley arcade and haunted house yeah but it was like 20% of all of those things yeah it never really committed Bounce House, Laser Tag, Bowling Alley, Arcade, and Haunted House. Yeah, but it was like 20% of all of those things.

Yeah, it never really committed to one. The perfect balance? Yeah. What was your duties? I was a birthday party host. I was the male birthday party host. When your child was having a birthday, you could check off male or female. I was the male host, usually in the bounce house,

but sometimes in the laser tag arena. And I've said this before, I had an eye for whoever the dorkiest kid was, the sickly boy, maybe just got out of an iron lung, and you could put in a cheat code in laser tag and I made him invincible and I always had the dorky kid win the birthday parties.

So he got to hoist the trophy at the end of the party. That's dope. That's fucking sweet of you. I think that's ultimately bad for their psyche, though. Yeah, I'm teaching the dorky kid that he's good at shooting. Oh, fuck.

Uh-oh. No. Uh-oh. Damn. Yeah, you give a dorky kid a little bit too much life experience, they fucking forget real quick who they are, what their roots are. Yeah, they're cocky.

Start being even cockier. It's like when a big person gets skinny and is really mean to their dating partners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're making up lost time. They know you can still see it in their face, what they used to be. Al Roker, I'm talking to you, pal. Yeah, specifically you, Roke. He treats women so bad now.

Does he? No, I don't know. Former dating partner, Al Roker. Oh, man. Did you guys watch The Dozen? No. Brandon's cheating saga? No, what's going on?

I was perplexed because we were recording a new unsolved story. Oh, is that the cheating saga? No. What's going on? I was perplexed because we were recording a new Unsold Story. Oh, is that the cheating scandal? That was it, apparently. Oh. We were recording an episode. He called and asked. I was his phone-a-friend.

And we thought it was on us, that there were multiple people in the room. I thought the cheating scandal was on us. But no. Can you refresh me what it actually is, Ron? I didn't see it. I just see it. It's a big statement.

It's right here on the prep sheet. I didn't see what it was. I wanted to know if you guys could. If you think I'm reading all that, you are mistaken. I watched it. I watched it. So what happened was, it's the final round.

It's for the number one seed. It's between the experts and the honkers. The experts are by one and they're going first i believe so uh the question is something about an american idol judge who replaced whoever when uh this who replaced paula abdul when they left brandon was going to use his phone a friend on nick him and pft are taping together in the office in the same room brandon goes out to the pit area to see if nick is here and i guess as brandon does he'll sometimes talk to himself and he's muttering the question basically who i'm not believing that to himself and he never he's muttering the question to himself yes i actually do believe that you don't think it was crowdsourcing?

No, I think that he's just trying to think of like, what is the answer to this? And Katie Statz heard him and said, Ellen. Brandon then comes back into the room that he's taping with PFT. He calls you, Nick. You pick up and don't know. So Brandon's like, it's a TV tv personality so he's listing tv personalities oprah ellen etc fran then gets her memory triggered and is like oh i actually think it's ellen so he wasn't muttering to him they use ellen they tie it the next question um the hunkers don't get so it's going to go to overtime yeah instead of it going to brandon knew the answer instead of it going to

overtime brandon comes clean and is like hey i said this out in the pit you don't do that actually answered it how do you want to proceed so he came clean immediately. If you come clean and you... If you come clean, that's admission to cheating. He said exactly what he did. He described it. He was saying the question to himself walking around the office. By Katie Stats. Looking for you. If it was anyone other than

Katie Stats... That's not even the cheating part. The cheating part is he knew the answer and fed it into the atmosphere. Get it confirmed. So how the match ended was they were down by one as a final round. So they would not have gotten that had Nick slash Fran not agreed with Ellen. So they agreed to lose the match. I think phone a friend needs to be mixed.

Agreed to lose? What the hell? They lost. It's the same. I mean, let's look at my cheating scandal i was just repeating the the uh uh the answer like i was just repeating the question out loud just talking out loud to myself no i was trying to influence you steven i was trying to give you information i like that kind of cheating though he was trying but But he's just going through the office asking the question out loud to his closest confidant,

his assistant, when there was no cameras around. Of course he was trying to gain an advantage. And so saying, I'll agree to lose the match, he's being noble. Like, no. What percent of phone-a-friends do you think look up the answer? Yeah, because it started as Faceetime was mandatory i think and now it's going to grab somebody grabbing someone that should be next it's it's almost impossible getting a phone a friend to look up the answer if you're not directly in front of a computer and ready to you're on speaker phone you google it on your phone. Yeah.

What do you mean? I've been a phone friend several times, and I'm just telling you, like, you have, what is it, 20 seconds? But you're different, though. That's a long time. You can do so quick. You can look up anything. Yeah.

Let's do a practice run. If you're not expecting it, honestly, no. Let's do a practice run. You can't type something. You type something in 10 seconds. You could type something in five seconds. Your first instinct should not be. Jay, ask me a question.

Ask Kate. Who is the 38th president? Okay, okay. You can't Google that in 20 seconds? That's not going to be like. Oh, geez, let me think about it. I think it was Gerald Ford. Wow.

I don't know the answer. That was plenty of time. That was so much time. She couldn't have looked that up. You knew that, right? Yeah, just off the top of my head. She couldn't know the answer. That was plenty of time. That was so much time. She couldn't have looked that up. You knew that, right? Yeah, just off the top of my head. She couldn't have looked that up. You don't think you could do it in 20 seconds?

I'm saying, if you're not expecting it, and you're not... What do you mean expecting it? As soon as you... Like, it's as simple as hearing the question and then typing it into your phone. That's never a first instinct. I've been a phone friend many times and failed a lot but don't cheat because you're ethical i'm just saying it could very easily happen nick is calling me steve it's nick you're on the dozen this former nfl running back had a parent in the famous hip-hop group De La Soul. You have 20 seconds.

Is this true? Trey Mason. Yes, it is. See, that was five seconds. How did you do it that fast? I just typed it in mad fast. Wait, how did you do that? I typed in NFL running back parent De La Soul.

Five seconds. Holy shit. Are you sure it's Trey Mason? I think it is. What was he, a Ram? Yeah, they called him Trey La Soul. Yes, Trey Mason, final answer. Thank you, Jeff.

Everybody cheats on the phone of friends, I guarantee it. Oh, you boys are cheating. That was my first time being a phone of friends. Oh, yeah, Nick's never a phone-a-friend. Now, I've missed some geography ones. Throw them off your scent. I also have many maps in my apartment. Oh, yeah, you could just look.

Oh, yeah. But you've got to lose a couple, you know what I mean? Yeah. Poets should be nixed. I'm actually the captain in an All-Star game for the dozen. Roan, you're not on my team. I'm sorry. captain In an all-star game For the dozen Roan, you're not on my team, I'm sorry That's okay, I understand you could only pick one person

Who's on your team? Well, I had the second and third pick It's a snake draft Six people to choose from So we'll go one, two, three, four Five, six? Yes Got it

But what I did was Three, four, five, six? Yes. Got it. But what I did was I traded picks two and three for pick one so I could get Compton. So you had pick one, five, six. Compton? No, I picked two, three. No, you wound up with pick one, five, and six. I found one, yes. So you could get whoever you wanted and whoever was left.

Right, because I didn't want Fran to risk taking Compton. So I had to trade up. So I got Compton. Draft day. Is he good or I thought he was dog shit. He's dog shit. He's pure dog shit.

He's doing it to make fun of Will. The captains get to make their own lifeline in this game, and mine's phone a stranger. You have two calls, and you have to dial a random number and ask them the question. I love that. That's hilarious. I do want to try one right now.

It's probably so hard to pick a number that's even like a number. Is there a random phone number generator on Google that can... Then everybody's going to call them. Yeah, yeah. Roan? Oh, good point. Kyle, you're the prank call guy. Give me a question.

I just always go with the De La Soul one. Yeah, Trey Mason's fucking... I don't want to overwhelm them with... How about like... What if they answer it quickly? What if it's named like three Central American countries or something like that?

Name three states in the Central time zone? I like that. Okay. Alright. Now I just type in a number. Let's pick the area code. Let's go New Jersey area code. Steve, what's a Jersey?

718-908-908. 908, and then we'll go. And then, Steve, what are the first three digits of yours? Then we could just do the last four randomized. 578. And what's the last four of yours? No, thank you. Tomorrow, everybody's in.

It's also Jersey Day. It's Dry Day. Jersey Friday. Say this again. Dry Day. Yeah. Oh, also Jersey Day. It's Dry Day. Jersey Friday. Say this again. Dry Day. Oh, a sports jersey. Yeah. Jersey Day.

Dry Day. Yeah. J-R-I-D-A-Y. Dry Day. J-R-I. Okay. He's calling it a random number. Hi, I'm on a trivia show and got to use a phone a friend lifeline.

Sorry, dog. What are the three states in the central time zone? Sorry, dog. It looks like death's happening. Damn. Looks like what's happening? Death's happening? Death? Death is happening? Looks like death is happening. Oh. Looks like what's happening? Death's happening? Death?

Death is happening. Looks like death is happening. Oh, that's not good, Kyle. That's such a cool way to hang up on someone. I think you called a serial killer. It looks like death's happening. That's the craziest thing I've ever... Wait.

I don't like that at all, Kyle. That guy sounded capable of murder. Maybe this isn't a good lifeline. You said that you were on a trivia show. You didn't say anything about death. And then he said death's happening. I don't like that verbiage. Andy has your number.

Sounds like it's right. Oh, no. That's not good at all, man. Yeah. All right, call another one. You can't fuck with New Jersey, people. Pick a nicer state. Yeah, my God.

Like Georgia or something. Michigan, northern Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah What's, like, Georgia or something? It's Michigan, northern Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you want to call it the UP? Maybe not that. Sorry, pal. I'm going to have to kill you. Damn it.

What's the friendliest city in the U.S.? I can't believe they answered. Name a state in the central. Damn. Looks like that's happening. That guy scared me. Oh, jeez. Three states on the Mississippi.

Minnesota is very friendly. They're fake nice up there. I'm doing Traverse City, Michigan. I think they're fucking nice as hell. Yeah, they are. All right. They live high noons up there. They do. They love high noons up there. They do.

They love high noons everywhere, bro. Yeah, you're right. They really do. Honestly, the high noons have taken over this country. Especially everywhere. High noon is a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water. It's actually made with vodka, not with malt, like those other hard seltzers. High noon hard seltzer is the perfect refreshing drink for a hot day.

They now have the big cans. Roan, tell me the milliliter. Tell me the volume. You know what it is. Do you think I had to look at the paper to know that? No. Just no milliliters. The 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple.

You guys know my favorite flavor is the grapefruit. Always has been, always will be. It kind of tastes like Fresca or Squirt. Yes. But it gives me a little buzz. Elevated, yeah. An elevated Squirt or Fresca. Fresca or Squirt. Yes. But it gives me a little buzz. Elevated, yeah. An elevated Squirt. Right.

Or Fresca. Fresca's grapefruit as well. Yes, of course. High Noon is the best bet when it comes to my flavored vodka sodas. Delicious. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. High Noon full-time flavors are pineapple, black cherry,

watermelon, grapefruit, lime, peach, mango, passion fruit, lemon, limited edition flavors, pear, cranberry in the tailgate pack, and kiwi and guava in the pool pack. Let's go. Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience store or liquor store, or you can always visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Thank you, High Noon.

I have a suggestion for High Noon. I think that they have to add 300 milliliters to those big boys, the big cans, and just get a liter of high noon. A liter of high noon. How sweet would it be to just be able to lug around a liter of noon? Well, all the kids are doing the Borgs. Yeah, the Borgs. A Borg of Nooner. Yes, that sounds incredible.

I guess you could make it yourself. A Borg? It's a Borg. Is it an acronym? I don't know. Have you seen the TikToks about them? What's a Borg? So all the kids are going around now, and they're taking an empty...

It's like the milk container with the handle, you know? But probably from water or whatever. Anyway, you fill it with your own mixed liquor drink. So probably whatever cheapy vodka and whatever crap you want to get. And then they name them. So they'll have a little flannel around it. It'll be Al Borglund. Okay okay you know what i mean okay cute yeah cute little names that have what does borg mean it's gonna be an acronym and g has to be gallon right does anyone know is anyone here

are we making uh it is blackout rage gallon i like that so we going to make Borgs tomorrow. It has to be in a solid color cup. Perfect. Solid color Borg. Solid Borg. What's the name of yours going to be? Don't spoil it. Oh, Cyrus. Or Cyborg for short. Cyborg.

You decorate your Borg. Cyrus Reginald Borg. It's close. We are drinking responsibly tomorrow. Yeah. Oh shit. Just a gallon. Brownout Rage Gallon.

Yeah, Brownout Rage Gallon. Sure. Mine's Chairman of the Borg starring Carrot Top. Nate? Or you could save it for tomorrow. Yeah. Okay.

I like Al Borglund. That one I came up with in my mind. What's that a play on? I don't know. Al Borglund, Tool Time. What is that? Oh! Yeah.

I never really watched that show. The one episode I watched, I think it was Jonathan Taylor Thomas crying because he found out that he'll die one day. Yep. Was that an episode? Yep. Yes, it was. He taylor thomas crying because he found out that he'll die one day yep was that an episode yep yes he got ill he got ill well there's so many episodes that but what kind of disease does he get i well i want to say it was one of the other siblings got ill but then he realized bad ill not bad ill they're always getting hurt and getting whatever but one of them got like sick for a minute. Damn. Yeah. They teach life lessons on those shows, though. They do.

I was a big tool time head. Big home improvement lady. Hell yeah. Because of Jonathan Taylor Thomas. That show for adults or children? Children, right? A little bit of both. A little bit of both.

They didn't answer? Didn't exist. Yeah, that's the problem with some phone numbers you think all the good ones are taken definitely or you think that there are some good ass phone numbers that untouched one yeah no i guarantee you the people that are working at fucking boost mobile are hoarding they're bogarting the good numbers yeah for themselves yes or for preferred clientele oh yeah that's like in uh what is it it Saudi Arabia, the lower, or is it UAE, the lower license plate, the wealthier? Like, it's a sign of status, like if you have a lower license plate number.

Huh. They sold, like, license plate number one for millions. Really? Can we fact check that? Nah, that's gotta be true. Yeah. There's no be true. Yeah. There's no way that's false. Stamp it. Fact. I always love getting a good debit card number or like

credit card number because when it's easy to remember you can just like put it in really fast. Sometimes they're just like a jumble of numbers that have no like wiring. Social's easy. What is it? You could guess it. It's all the same digit. One. Yeah. It's all the same digit. One.

Yeah. It's like a fake commercial dial. Five, five, five. Wait. Go Panera Bread. What? Go Panera Bread. What do you mean?

It's automated. Ask them? Talk to them, but act like it's in order. Just be like, do you guys have the uh name of the rams running back whose parent was in bayless soul yeah i hate when you prank call next to me because you yeah i would give up way so i don't want to do this yeah and don't do it it's your life brother it's opening day yeah you guys want hot dogs day. Yeah. You guys want hot dogs? Honestly, yes.

Okay, I'll order some hot dogs. Hell yeah. Really? Yes. Oh, you want hot dogs? I do want hot dogs. Opening day. Oh, yeah.

Forgot already. How many games the Phillies winning? Hopefully a hungy. They'll probably make the playoff. As consensus says, they'll be like a wild card team. Tough division that NL East, man. How about the Pirates? They're going to win 62 games.

Bet it. Exactly? Yeah. I wonder if you can. You're going to be right. You freaking always are. Being that way, yeah. You always are freaking exactly right. That's on my list. I've been to a bunch of stadiums but i've never been to a pirates

game and i heard that though they stink it's very fun yeah they do stink because the stadium's like right there in the city i was so tempted i have a big group of friends going to uh opening day like next friday i think is when they're yeah withutcheon coming back. $100 for a ticket, which is too much. I say go for it. Dare I say YOLO? I don't know if I will. I'll consider. Raw dogs or...

Let's suck on some chili dogs. Hooger Mellencamp. Is there any Chicago like, Chicago style? I don't want to be picky if you're getting... I want to try Seattle style. What's that? I forget, but people were clowning it, but it looked fine. Is it the Japa dog? Papaya dog has none of those.

It's either... They have chili dogs. I'll get a bunch of chili dogs and a bunch of Lainey's. Sucking on chili dogs down by the... It's a hot dog topped with cream cheese and sauteed onions and served in a pretzel bun. I think that sounds all right. Yeah.

Pretzel bun technology is groundbreaking. You ever have a Sheetz pretzel melt? Yeah. Bavarian Sheetz, Bavarian ham pretzel melt with honey mustard. Their stuffed pretzels were my favorite item. I got the stuffed jalapeno pretzel when I was inarian sheets bavarian ham pretzel melt with honey mustard stuffed pretzels were my favorite item i got the stuffed jalapeno pretzel when i was yep the jalapeno i got it sent to the hotel um as we were like waiting in our tuxes for like the limo i got a did it still hit hard yeah hard i think i'd be good at Sheets trivia. Would you?

Who was first, Sheets or Wawa? Wawa, obviously. Probably Wawa, yeah. Who has more change now? Sheets started in Greensburg, PA? Oh, I wouldn't know. Oh, no, Altoona. What am I thinking? They have a ton there.

Yeah, that's where it started. That's where Henry Davis is playing ball. Who's that? I couldn't think of his name. He's the Pirates prospect. Oh, that's where it started. That's where Henry Davis is playing ball. Who's that? Couldn't think of his name. He's the Pirates prospect. Oh, that's the right guy. One draft pick. And that's where the horseshoe curve is.

He's playing for the Altoona curve. Yep. That's a fun-ass curve. It's a great curve. Engineering marvel. Zaha, have you ever done a train simulator across the Altoona curve? Nah, brother. I only do the trains that I I only do the trains. I try to do the trains

that I jump in. So like I don't even play. They've got like the German ones. They've got like the England ones. I don't do none of those. Just do the ones you know. Just the New Jersey transit. So you take the train home. And the path. You take the NJT home and then you go and just relive it? Hell yeah. No, I take the tram home. And the path. You take the NJT home, and then you go and just relive it?

Pretty much. Hell yeah. No, I take the path home. They don't have the path. They only have, so I'm learning the New Jersey transit right now. If they had the path, would you download it? Absolutely. Absolutely, bro.

And they're like $30 a fucking expansion pack. Those games make so much money. Based off the expansion. Yeah. $30 for a train pack. Those games make so much money. Based off the expansion. Yeah. $30 for a train. It's crazy. Dude, I was playing Beat Saber on my Oculus, which is like Guitar Hero but with lightsabers,

and they just got the Skrillex expansion pack, and I just opened my wallet. Bar still needs to get in on those pay-to-play schemes. Yeah, they do. Maybe if you'd sell shirts or something. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, bastard.

What? Alright, I just ordered 12 regular dogs, 8 chili dogs, 3 french fries. Hell yeah. Wow. Thanks, Roan. French fries are crinkle, are they not? They fucking better be. Thank you, Roan.

This is great. Someone has to pick up big man slack. Ordering food. Ordering food for the gang. The line of succession is your next. You know what? Let me go ahead and order a bunch of small ice creams and tiny little baseball hats for you guys. Wow.

No, no, no. Okay, okay. Let's stop her. That would literally be too much. Okay. Yeah. All right. And it won't deliver well. Yeah, no.

Nothing melts faster than ice cream and a ball cap and a helmet. Yeah. All right. And it won't deliver well. Yeah, no. Nothing melts faster than ice cream and a ball cap and a helmet. Man. I got tickets to some kind of cabaret type magic type of show. You always get tickets for stuff. Yeah, I'm always trying to do shit. Did you go to the Met the other day? It was closing on Wednesdays. I was so fucking pissed.

Yeah. I might try and go tomorrow morning then. Definitely should. Yeah. I might try and go tomorrow morning then. Definitely should. Yeah. The fucking, Jake Bass was wearing a sweatshirt for the Guggenheim yesterday. He's cultured. He's got to be one of the five most cultured people here. Oh, yeah, he is.

Underrated. Never sunburns. He's a new fiance. Yeah, new fiance. Never sunburned. Jeez. Clean sweatshirt for the Guggenheim. He has some new ink on him, too.

He's a fresh guy. He's the freshest in the office, I'd say, right now. Me and Gay Pat brought a Franzia bag into the Guggenheim once and had ourselves a day. Can you do that? No. What did you sneak it in? My purse. Oh.

We just had ourselves a day. You didn't even check. Nobody cared. Nobody cared. You poured it into cups? I don't think that's the norm. That's awesome. Yeah.

That's a good-ass day. We did. We swirled all the way to the top swirled our way down what is the guggenheim um modern art or just uh mostly modern but not like so modern that you don't know what it is not as modern as the moma right it's the guggenheims i was gonna get tickets to the guggenheim but it spooked me because there was just like a chair made of feathers and I was like man what is their thing is it American art I don't know if I get it I don't know

I should have given it a chance or it's just I get it but I just don't like appreciate that type of art I bet it's very hard to do and tough to make pretty and aesthetic but I don't know, man. That's just not for me.

I'm more of a sculpture guy. Are you a sculpture guy? Rodan? You got to go to the Trenton, the grounds for sculpture. It is the coolest place. Is there a Godzilla villain named Rodan? Yes. Yeah.

There is. Yeah. Is that what you were talking about, Adam? I was talking about the thinker. Ah. That guy. That guy. That bro. There's a Rodin.

There's like a sculpture garden in Philly of all Rodin stuff. But they say it's bad luck if you take your wedding pictures in front of the gates to it. They're called the gates to hell. Oh. Oh. People still do it, though. People don't really give a fuck. Do people, like, raining on your wedding day

good luck right or is that a cope i think there's i think all like getting shit on by a bird cope the number 13 for italians cope like every these are the things that are actually good luck but are just people coping i think i don't know what was your wedding day like? Beautiful. Yeah. You did the waterfront, right? Yeah, it was down by the waterfront. That place is awesome. And we thought about going to the Rodin place, but then they were like,

it's bad luck. Bad luck. Bad luck. Trying to fuck with bad luck. Great weather, though. How many numbers have you called? 16. I'm on to Omaha. Probably not even a wake out in Omaha right now

The way time zones work Fucking time zones I've only Ever lived in one time zone I know Yikes I know Sheesh

Three states One time zone What the hell's wrong with me? Oh but what What other time zone would you want to live in? Central. I'll tell you what I thought was the best. West Coast? West Coast.

Football on Sundays, you're outside at a beautiful bar. It's brunch. You get a good buzz on. You watch the game, and then you have the whole rest of the day to nap and chill and recover. And prep for war. And prep for war. And prep for war. Yeah.

Which, you know, he'll run it off the next day. It's fine. But I loved West Coast timing. Yeah. It's awesome. And, like, the only people who, like, it bothers are people who are trying to, like, make money on the stock market. Or, like, be in the news. Yeah.

I would prefer that. I love when things start early. What about, What about programming? So let's say Survivor's on at what, 8? Does that mean they're Survivor's on when they're still at work? I think they bump Survivor but basketball, like the Lakers

game. You get a lot of stuff spoiled. You could get Jeopardy time zone to time zone. You could probably get the East Coast Jeopardy and impress your friends with the West Coast Jeopardy. Get all the answers early, like the Brandon Walker special. Yeah, that's what Brandon does. He watches the dozen here and then participates in Chicago.

Yeah, that son of a bitch. I like the West Coast time zone, though. It is weird hours when all the basketball is done by like 8 p.m. or whatever. I think that's why everybody's into movies out there. Like, damn, I guess we're just watching movies. There's no live events happening anywhere relevant. It's kind of fun, too. My cousin works in finance out there.

And so they do start their days way earlier because they start like before the sun comes up a lot of days to be on schedule with New York. But then most of the days, like Thursdays, Fridays, you're done work super early. Everybody goes out to the bar. Like, I don't know.'s a really good how early are they starting like or like 5 a.m. sometimes like yeah see those uh like TV anchors who do the day in the life they're getting up at oh my god two o'clock I know yeah it's crazy no I could never do that that's why I wanted to be a baker for a long time oh they get their early birds i know but i'm not a morning person that was ultimately what killed it for me night bakery yeah maybe i'll start uh i went to do the whole tour in the world trade center the new one like floor seven is a bakery school it's like a world famous they grow their own foods and have their all like all their own chocolates yeah i forget the shit in there i was like almost signed

up for it. They still call sometimes. They're like, are you sure? You don't want to be a baker? Every baker I've ever met, very testy. What are their stereotypes? Bakers are testy. Testy?

Yeah. I bet. I would have guessed not, the opposite. No, you'd think they're this creative, free-forming, you know. You guys ever watch the Great British Bake Off? Yeah. Clips. That's a comfort show for me.

It's not even funny. It's more just like the most calming. It's mildly funny. They're polite. So polite. And gay. I think most of the dudes in there are gay. Are most bakermen gay?

I think that's another stereotype. That is true, but toy makers are usually straight. Yeah. Well, pedophiles. Gepetto? I went past... Gepetto. What are toy makers doing? What are they actually making?

I passed FAO Shorts. Yeah, you gotta go back to making wood toys. Wood. Yeah. And like stuffed animals and shit like that. Yeah, because like

I think Stu Pickles was trying to make toys and that's back when like Tech was a fledgling and he was trying to be cutting edge. A toy maker now, you can't be an indie toy maker

and be making... Yeah. What's the number one toy right now for kids that's not, like, technology? Oh. It's not a screen. Because, like, Hot Wheels are a technology. Yeah, nothing...

Yeah. But that's not, like, a program on a screen. This is technology, but that Mario Kart, I think KFC got it for his kids. Have you seen that? Oh, where it's like your house?

You set up gates around your house and then you play with a real remote control car but on the screen? It's fucking insane. It's amazing. Number one toy. I feel like there's some that have been evergreen, like we have for our son the, what do you call it, the little basketball

hoop? I had that when I was a kid. The Fisher-Price basketball hoop is always a winner. Those little cars. The orange and yellow car. Yeah. What was that called? Has a name, I guess. Well, Ken Jack was calling it by the name.

I never knew what it was called. Something Coop? Crazy Coop? Oh, yeah, there's something Coop. I had the one before that. I predated it. I got it from an older cousin. I had the jaunty jalopy.

I love the videos of the drunk older people at parties who get stuck inside them. Oh, yeah. Gotta get cut out by the... I've seen that. The Squishmallows mystery box was the number one. Oh, I've seen that. Those are fun to watch. I got those for all the tweens in my life this Christmas, the Squishmallow mystery box.

There it is. Squishmallow mystery box. 2022 Toy of the Year. I don't know what that is. What's that? The Star Wars animatronic droid? Lola? Crazy that they were just like, they'd send you a box of Legos

and they'd be like, just build your own toy. Yeah. Now there's just like a figurine of the thing that you used to have to build via Legos. Can we pull up that Mario Kart game? It looks fucking awesome. Let me see that.

We should get one. Let's get one. That would be pretty cool to set one up around. The office. Somewhere around the office. We got to wait until Big Cat comes back. Yeah, that's right. We already put a load on dogs.

You ever see the remote control competitions? Like the kids believe they're athletes. Yeah. What do you mean? They're really into it. They race each other with remote control cars. They are. There's like tournaments.

Those things go so fucking fast. Oh, they have like pit crews. Like for real. Yeah, yeah. That mix up the, yeah. Have you ever seen the close calls where they fly off the tracks and like almost take people's heads off? No.

No. Watch that. Oh, yeah. My first remote control car was the Tyco Psycho and I got it on Christmas and it was too fast for me. You must have been a good boy that year. I think I remember Tycho Psycho. Tycho Psycho, I think you could ride on both sides. Yeah. It was a bisexual car.

But I it was too fast for me. Wait, wait. You would be in the car or it was one that you would remote control car. It was too fast. I would never maxed it out. I was envious of the kids that

would get the fucking little car you could actually sit in and drive around there was like the pink barbie one for the girls and there was an escalade for the yeah like a raptor or some shit like that that shit was fucking fire i never had that so there's parents now like my tiktok obviously is all like kids and parents shit and there's parents now like i say the dad's a mechanic they'll go into those like toy jeeps at the battery and they'll make adjustments so that he's like yeah it goes about 35 miles an hour we make sure he wears a helmet and the kids are 35 like kids go fucking fly there's videos that you can find but people soup them up for their kids so that they're not so slow and they go fucking flying that's why country people wind up as nascar

drivers yes no city slicker is like even has the wherewithal the ability or the space to do shit they're not so slow, and they go fucking flying. That's why country people wind up as NASCAR drivers. Yes. No city slicker even has the wherewithal, the ability, or the space to do shit like that. Yeah. Fuck. I saw they're turning Atlantic City into a Formula One track. Like they're basically just revamping the entire city of Atlantic City and making it a whole Formula One track.

Don't they do that in like Monaco? They do. They shut down the city. They're so similar. Monaco, Atlantic City. Yeah, totally. Can't tell the difference. Look at that.

Yeah, people soup them up. Then they teach the kids how to drift, yeah. Doesn't look like Tokyo. I feel like that helmet would not even... No. No. No. That'll protect from, like, the soft spot on your head,

but you get bent around a tree. That's going to mess you up. That's going to put you in a bad spot. Still cool, though. Still cool. No, 100%. What was your first car? A Toyota Corolla

Same For real? White It was a green 92 Jeep Cherokee Grand Cherokee You must have been such a good boy He pretends like he wasn't but he was He was the best kid

We were just always getting good stuff because your parents knew you earned it. It was my grandpa's. I got it from him. He didn't need it. But, yeah, I was a very, very good boy. I know. I can tell. Teacher's pet.

Never got in trouble. Never drank. Sweet, sweet boy. But you also definitely had good-ass parents. Or you definitely just had a good household. Yeah. No doubt in my mind that you had a good household that fostered... I know you snuck out the back.

Your backpack was jangling with... No, I never snuck out. I was never on that town. I was too scared of my mom. Oh, you snuck out, I bet. You were a bad kid. No, I wasn't at all. He was also a good boy. I didn't break any rules. I thought you boozed. I did. You were a bad kid. No, I wasn't at all. He was also a good boy.

I didn't break any rules. I thought you boozed. Not until senior year. Okay. Me neither. I wasn't really boozing. Barely did. Okay, you were.

I was bad. Yeah, I dabbled. My parents were strict. I was terrified of my mom, but that just meant, I was like, that just means you gotta be sneakier. Yeah?

Yeah. Daughters' relationship with their moms, it's like adversarial sneakier. Yeah. Yeah. Daughters' relationship with their moms is like adversarial early on. Yeah. If you have a daughter and you're a mom, you have to prep for like 15 years of that child hating your guts. Yes. Then becoming exactly you.

Then becoming your twin. Yeah. Yep. My mom and I get that all the time now. They're like, you're like the same person. And we like hated each other for like six years, like bad. And looking back, I'm like, I don't know why I was like that. That was unnecessary.

It's just biological. Yeah, I don't know. That shit just happens to young girls. Yeah, I don't know. That is weird. It is because her and my brother got along great. Probably because she liked him more than you. I mean, probably. He was a good kid i'm joking but

you probably had those thoughts my sister used to be like you fucking like him more than me shut up my sister would cry and just be like he's the favorite my dad would be like yes i always thought my brother was a favorite too maybe because people like boys more maybe you guys were the favorites. Maybe. I don't know. Do you think that's what it is? No, I think it's just that I was genuinely awful.

Were you the favorite, Kyle? I'm thinking right now. I think it was a pretty healthy split. So you weren't. Lucky. Now I want to know. Yeah, hit up your mom. It was me in a runaway. It was a blowout. And I was the older one, too. Y know. Yeah, hit up your mom. It was me in a runaway. It was a blowout.

And I was the older one, too. Yikes. Yeah. Damn. They got a worse model? Yeah. The hell is this? Well, at least we got Nick.

Damn. Did it ever cause strife? No, we're seven years apart. Okay. That's a lot. My brother was so good like he never did anything bad and i was such like an asshole that i just assumed he had to be the favorite i'm like well just going off pure facts and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy well they like him anyway so i'll sneak out tonight yeah damn your parents just never even caught you sneaking out

or like no at the back door i would do things like skip school and go to south street or like shady maple it was never anything like i was sneaking out to do something like super bad and i like smoke out my window and stuff like that but i never remember i tried going what is it pool hopping yeah we would go like i just felt the temperature i couldn't do do it. It was in your neighborhood, Collie. Yeah? Didn't have it in me. What do you mean?

It was too cold? No, I was afraid to jump in someone else's pool and have them catch me. Oh. So I just put my hand in it. And then you went- I claimed it. You went to like eight houses. Yeah.

Put your hand in it. He dipped his hand in each one. Dude, look how fucking pruned I am. Did anyone else dip their hand with you? They were all going in. They would smash mailboxes, which is like a felony. I never did stuff that hurt people's stuff. We also did have a potato gun that we would shoot off into neighborhoods and who knows.

Yeah, you hurt people's stuff. Yeah, you hurt people's stuff. Yeah, maybe you hurt people's stuff. I used to, I lived on a really, really steep hill. Crazy steep, like this, really long. And we had an X-factor ramp and we would roll bowling balls down it and ramp them. I think it once hit a side of a car. That was the extent. Run away or what?

Always. Running away is the best part. It is. Neighborhood shenanigans. You were either one of the fastest kids or one of the slowest kids. Slowest. Come on, man. Were you the slowest?

Yeah. You thought I was fast? Why the hell would I be fast? You should be. Why? If you have the body type, it'd be really awkward if you were slow it just i could run for a long time yeah something like that i could outlast like a fucking you know a predator probably but like uh i'm not winning any foot races predator like a tiger or something yeah yeah or actually the other way around i could yeah like i could like a tiger or something? Yeah, yeah. Or actually the other way around. I could hunt a tiger for days on end by slowly jogging after it.

I think that's why some maybe native tribes or Ethiopian tribes were such great runners. It was in their DNA that they were for three days straight. That's like 90% of your DNA. Yeah, I'm black. We were running all the time. All the time. That's all 90% of your DNA. Yeah, I'm black. We were running all the time. All the time. That's all we did.

I was the slowest. Everything was running. I always got left in Creepy Hollow. There was a shortcut between neighborhoods. It was called Creepy Hollow, and I was like, promise me you guys won't run. They were like, we swear. As soon as we got in there, we're gone. Booked it.

And then they would wait for me, and I'd be holding my hip as I walked out. That's in my old boyfriend's neighborhood in high school one of his neighbors had a mannequin like a full like you see at the mall on their front porch and they would dress it up in different outfits like all the time and it would trick you you'd be driving it looks so real you'd like go to wave at it or whatever and we all kind of hated this mannequin and that they were always keeping it up with the times and i don't know if it was supposed to be like a theft deterrent or they thought it was cute but um it was like there for years and so and i think we were at a graduation party down the street and we'd all been drinking or whatever and we thought it'd be funny to steal the mannequin and we did i know it's probably their pride and joy i know are you you took it apart then what? Did you give it back?

No, so wait. So then we would send them. How old are you in this? I was in high school. So then we would send them ransom letters from their mannequin. Torturing. Yeah. And we'd be like, he's doing great.

But like, our dear mom and dad, like I'm at Yale now and I'm blah, blah, blah. But like for years after we would send them letters from the mannequin. They respond. And then we would like scare our moms with it. And then we would like them letters from the mannequin. They respond? And then we would scare our moms with it. We would leave it out at sleepovers. Did you return the mannequin to this poor person? No, we did not. Do you know who it is?

I know the name of the family who's mannequin. Send him a mannequin. You've got to give him a mannequin. You've got to. I know. I bought an artificial leg from a flea market once, and it was hollow on the thigh, and I used it as a piggy bank all through middle school. Damn, how much did you take up?

A lot. I think you could fill that up. If it was mostly silver, you'd be sick. You were such a good boy. That tooth fairy was probably glopping you up like crazy. I got my teeth pulled so much. I never lost a tooth naturally, I don't think. I got probably 80% of my teeth pulled by the dentist.

Why? I was so crowded, and they wanted me to get braces early. Kate, you gotta do one of those videos of someone who hasn't seen their kid in 10 years, and they're like, return the mannequin! Mannequin meets their family after 15 years of being straight.

They have to squint. They don't quite recognize it. Is that you, boy? Yeah. According to neighbors, they were very upset. Yeah. Yeah. It was probably like their favorite thing. It was.

It was. But all through college, we had fun. At least you kept having fun with it. It would have been more disrespectful. The guilt would have destroyed me. I'm definitely. No, it would have destroyed me. I'm definitely. No it would have destroyed me.

I wouldn't be here right now. One of the neighbors I grew up next to was having a sweet 16 for their daughter. Anne Marie was her name and she got a trampoline

in the side yard but they were in the backyard and me and my boy Cleveland and my boy Josh Marino went and just stole the trampoline. That's fine.

First of all sweet 16 you should be getting she got a trampoline. That's fine. First of all, Sweet 16, you should be getting a... She got a trampoline? We took it. My boy Cleveland Gaines. Good guy. He was a good guy. Oh, for real?

Yeah. He's a... Sounds like a defensive tackle. Yeah. Cleveland Gaines. I met him ding-dong ditching his house. Beautiful story. He opened the door before you could run away. His dad opened the door and he's like, Cleveland, get him! Cleveland games. I met him ding-dong ditching his house. Beautiful story.

He opened the door before you could run away? His dad opened the door and he's like, Cleveland, get him! He's sick. He hunted you down? Yeah, he got us quick. And then you just were like, do you want to play with us? He was a lot faster than us, yeah. Then we played Airsoft. Smart.

I caught you some friends, Cleveland! He's having a nice house as a trap to get your kids some friends. Dude, my neighborhood crew was me and my boy Josh Marino, Cleveland Gaines, and then my boy Vincent Gu. His dad was the head chef of Silver Chopsticks. Yes. He was like 6'8", giant Chinese kid. Told us about Vince Gu.

My crew was the cover of a health book. One of us needed to be in a wheelchair and then we were ready. Your guys' parents just let you run around the neighborhood like that? Yeah. We had free reign. I had some strict ass parents.

I was in the house learning. You couldn't even run around the neighborhood? Not really, no. You must have been such a bad neighborhood? Not really, no. You must have been such a bad boy then. Yeah, I didn't deserve it. Or I don't know.

I think my mom was a nurse that worked in end-of-life care for children. And so she just knew every way a kid could die. Yeah, that'll do it. She knew every single way. Yeah. I was wearing a helmet when i read books your mom was your mom did that see a child die often yes i would go to like god bereavement groups when i was like six years old i'd be in like she'd be working in a bereavement group for kids whose uh siblings had died and i would just be in the group with them just having

not having had a sibling die, but I was just listening to their stories and going through their cope of it. There's nothing worse. Did she have any positive takeaways from the job? I don't know. I mean, I'm sure she did. I'm sure she probably felt like she was helping people and stuff like that. It's tough.

Yeah, someone's got to do it. It takes a special person to do that, but damn. It's tough. Yeah, someone's got to do it, you know? It takes a special person to do that, but damn. Yeah, that's why you're a sociopath. I think that has to be something to do with it. Because even when I was doing mandatory volunteer hours in high school, I think both from my high school mandated service hours and court mandated, so I kind of wrapped them all in together, but it would be

with kids who's like, young kids who had family members die. So it was all just wrapped up in it. That has to be something with it. That has to be something with me being this. You're the most desensitized man. Black ass. You don't feel a thing.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm sensitive as fuck, bro. And I'm just coping. It might be a roundabout cope. I think these hot dogs are almost here. Are those they? That kind of worked. I think those are they.

Those are they. I think those are they. I like that. We all got to eat like fuck. We got to eat a bunch of dogs. I also just saw John Rich go down the hallway. We got to see what his ass We got to eat a bunch of dogs. I also saw John Rich go down the hallway. We got to see what his ass is up to. Son of a bitch.

I'm excited for what he has in store. I will say he got back from filming the secret project and immediately he brought his luggage to the bar to meet with the Tungsten group and that's when he took the photo. The haunting horrible photo. Yes, yeah, that photo. Yes. I have no idea what this is.

Should we putt for dogs? Putt for dogs. Oh, great call, Kate. Genius call. As much as I love these hot dogs, though, my dogs love Farmer's Dog. My two dogs, I have a miniature poodle. His name is Sawyer, and I have a peek-a-poo named Cooper. Sawyer named after the Lost character?

That's right. That's awesome, man. Wow. Cooper named after? Manning. Oh. My dad named him after Amari Cooper. My dad Manning. Oh. Dad named him after Amari Cooper.

My dad loved Amari Cooper. Don Rich, what's up, brother? Take a seat right in the middle. Farmer's dog. When you look at bags of food, you see pictures of bright carrots and juicy steaks. When you open the bag, you get all these burnt, smelly pellets. Dog food needs some fresh thinking. Feed your dog the farmer's dog. It's real, fresh, healthy food with whole meat and veggies, gently cooked in human-grade kitchens to preserve

their nutritional value. Just tell them about their dog and they'll deliver personalized, vet-developed recipes for as little as $2 a day. Meals arrive in a pre-portioned, ready-to-serve pack, conveniently delivered on your schedule dog people across the country have ordered millions of meals from the farmer's dog it's never been easier to invest in your dog's health with fresh food get 50 off your first box of fresh healthy food at the farmers dog.com slash yak y-a-k plus you get free shipping go to the farmers dog.com slash yak to get 50%. That's the, T-H-E, farmersdog.com slash yak. Farmer's Dog will have a lifetime customer in me. This is shitty, but when Penny died, when my dog died,

they sent me a handwritten note or whatever about it. It was just a great personal touch. So shout out to the Farmer's Dog. Big time fan of theirs. Big time fan of John Rich's, though. John Rich. John Rich. What's up, everybody?

How we doing? What's going on? Looking healthy? Looking healthy. I'm hosting. Thanks, man. Do I look okay? Do I look all right, guys?

I was just explaining when you looked unhealthy is when you got back from the secret project. That's very true. When I tell you about the secret project, I think it will all make perfect sense why I would look like dying, making heroin. Do you have a teaser right now? I believe we have a teaser

that is queued up. I believe we do. What the hell? Oh, there I am. Wait, don't start it yet. That was a delicious hot dog, by the way. Farmer's Teller. The I'm Yours music video. Still no color in your cheeks here.

Oh, no. Oh, I forgot about this. My name is John Rich. This has been Mim's House. Let's go inside. So you went to New Orleansleans we went to new orleans i guess it must have been three weeks ago me and fasoli um just give you the timeline of events on a friday i think i emailed hank and had this idea i said what if me and whoever go down and spy on ben mints like

follow him around like see what he does, like, see what he does. Yeah, just, like, see what he does for however many days. About two hours later, Hank sent me an email that said, I'm sending you and Fasoli on Monday. And then kind of, it was a little bit threatening, said, I'm using, like, a certain percentage of my budget. Like, it better be good. If it's not going to be good, don't go.

That's just corporate speak. So I got a little bit of a nice threatening email from Hank, but I think it was good. Anyway, we went down to New Orleans, just me and Fasoli. I don't want to give away too much of the video, but we essentially followed around Ben Mintz for two days, tracked his whereabouts. We talked to a handful of people who work closely with Ben Mintz, some New Orleans socialites, I guess. Okay. Not really socialites, but some people that know Ben Mintz.

And it was a fucking great time. And then at the end, we end up confronting Ben Mintz about his Monday. Without spoilers, was he on the easier side to spy on? Very. Very. He is the most manipulatable person like it took again we had like no time like i figured like when i sent this email up like oh yeah like it'll like be a while like we'll plan it out like we'll get them set up to do things it took like five texts and like we

basically had like ben mints now manipulated to go exactly where i needed them to go correct me if i'm wrong when this comes out, or people now can maybe even retroactively look at some Ben Mintz content and see you in the background. Wait, no way. So I don't know if he posted. That's actually a good question. I don't think so.

I don't think so. You were very close. I am very, in the content we put out, yes, I am very much in the content we put out, yes. I am very much in – the problem is I am so in the background that if he actually would have put it out, like it was – It would have spoiled the whole video. Yeah, because he wasn't necessarily the one filming. I was so in the background that if he even had access to the footage – I mean maybe not. Like maybe he is that oblivious that he wouldn't have seen me, but you'll see it.

Yes, I was within two feet of Ben Mintz for a decent amount of time. Now, you said you were able to manipulate him to go to places you wanted him to go? Correct. Without any contact? We had some contact. We had help. We had some help. But, like, I don't know, just, like, finding Ben Mintz friends.

The point is finding where Ben Mintz is going is not that difficult. We had the help of some people that are a little bit yak related. I don't want to say exactly who, but we interviewed somebody who's been on the yak before. That was good. Yeah, and you got back exhausted. I was exhausted, yeah. Yep, exhausted. Went directly to the Tungsten.

There it is. The Tungsten meeting, and then, you know, a picture happened. But, look, anybody who follows around Benman's working hard for two days straight, 48 hours straight. You're going to look a little rough. Wait, and is it out now? When does it come out? It's coming out tonight. I believe 7 o'clock tonight.

It will be top of my viewing list. I can't wait to see this. 8 p.m. 8 p.m.? Okay, good deal. Sorry, I feel like they got changed. But yeah, Fasoli's doing the finishing touches now. It'll be out at 8 p.m.

What happened there, KB? Bit my lip. What do you and roan have in common so 174 pounds one of you is white i got i'm thinking of something vanderpump rules i would mean to ask you about vanderpump family wise vanderpump rules we're both part of the vanderpump family we're both part of the family me and jacks taylor we're good pals are Are you? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

A little bit. I mean, he's not on Vanderpump right now. No, yeah, that's a shame. But no, I'm not sure what you're driving at. Our family? I think you're talking about Vanderpump rules, how Tom and Tom both kind of like worked together to... Professor Papas.

You guys both have Professor Pops? Oh, okay. What does your dad profess? His faith for the Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. That's cool. And he's a professor of physics. Interesting.

My dad professors marketing. Really? You had to speak to one of his classes? What? Oh, yeah. He's doing, I mean, it's a marketing class,

so you can make the connection between Barstool marketing, whatever. Of course basically just like hey like john can you like come and talk to my class about how to be i don't think he used the word like just how to like make content essentially which i'm not even that fucking good at it's kind of got lucky your top tips kind of lucky and ended up here we all got hired hired. You had to win a competition. Yeah, well, yeah, I told him to get selected for a competition and just fucking win. But, no, I repeated the same shit that they tell us in the company meeting. That, like, look, like Twitter's dead.

Nobody uses Twitter anymore. It's all TikTok. If you want to get views, everything on tiktok and instagram i basically just echoed what erica told us at that one company meeting but i mean there's probably like lots of market research that goes into what you're regurgitating to them you know that's what i'm assuming like somebody thought about that shit long and hard yeah there's some kind of science behind it they have definitely is no i i'm not saying they're wrong i just figured they were right. How do you feel like it went when you went and talked to them?

I think it went fine. I think it went well. He asked me, like, any tips for people who want to get a job at Barstool. And that's such a hard question. Like, other than just, like. Gain weight. Gain weight, yeah. I mean, yeah, I should have gave him, like, the real advice, like, get really fat and make a fool of yourself.

Yeah. But, no, I just gave him the whole, like, just post as much as possible. Like, you're going to have to get a little bit lucky at some point. But, like, hopefully it comes to a time where if you do get lucky, you at least have something to show them. And then you can put it in. Are these guys, is this class the aspiring content creators? I'm not exactly sure. It's some kind of marketing-related class.

My dad, this interview came on the heels of a project. Oh, yeah, I should tell you guys this. This came on the heels of a project where they all had to make a TikTok. And then my dad also asked me during the interview if me and somebody else from Barstool can judge the class's TikToks. Oh my god, yes. Yes, please. If you guys are interested in judging some TikToks,

I think they're on my dad's TikTok right now. Oh, I would love that. Let's judge them on a scale of January to December. They're going to love this. Alright, give would love that. Let's see some. Do you want to? Yeah, let's judge them on a scale of January to December. They're going to love this. All right, give me one second. I'm going to have to pull it up. I've been feeling nostalgic lately.

John, have you watched your first appearance on the Yak? You've gotten so much more comfortable. It's unbelievable. Really? Yeah, you were a trembling guy. I almost feel like I got less comfortable. No, dude. No, no, I feel like i was comfortable during barstool idol

and then something happened where i just lost my shit and got so uncomfortable but no no maybe i'm bringing it back maybe now you're chilling no that's good to hear grab the chili dog yeah walk in take the host do you remember my first day on the yak i think it was right after barstool idol and was it wallow oh did wallow come in and just like preached oh yeah he did preach like he told us that like we needed our own song yeah that's not yeah how's that going i haven't got my own song yet carolyn took his advice apparently yeah but caroline caroline you asshole i'm watching i've been watching survive i'm watching survivor there's a carolyn whatever all right who should i send who should i send Caroline Caroline You asshole I'm watching I've been watching Survivor There's a Caroline

Whatever Alright hold up Who should I send Who should I send These TikToks to Can we Can we kick them To the booth

Yeah can we just Look up the Your dad's account Yeah so Talk on the booth screen Yeah Greg Rich Music Is the TikTok account That's your dad's

Wait a minute Wait a minute You know Do you know my dad's account. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You know, do you know my dad's an artist? Is he? As well. Yeah, he's got a couple albums out. What?

Yeah, Greg Rich. He's got a marketing album where he thinks about marketing. He has marketing songs? He's got an album. Oh, yeah. He definitely does. Is that a genre? Yeah, that's a genre. He's probably the only one.

I love this guy. He's ordering the market. He's got a cancer surviving song. He had cancer, a cancer surviving album because he had cancer. He survived it. Oh, shouts. And then he's got just like a generic. Pop album?

Yeah, yeah, just a pop album. Yeah, something like that. Holy shit. He's got three albums up. Damn. Can we go to a show or? Yeah, he's in a John Prine cover band. Jesus Christ. John Prine. Yes, that's awesome. Can we go to a show? Yeah, he's in a John Prine cover band. Jesus Christ.

John Prine. Yes, that's awesome. Can we go to a show? You can have him here. If you want to go to Ohio, then yes, you can. If you want to go to Perrysburg, Ohio. Can we do roofball at your house? Go to your dad's show.

He's done concerts at the house. We can have roofball going on during the concert. Did you go to Perrysburg? No, but Perrysburg, there's more shows going on at Perrysburg. But I think it would be even cooler if there was a venue and we could just have us and stoolies sell out a venue to see your dad play music. I feel like that would be a worthwhile use of all the people that support Barstool.

Can we do a festival in your yard? Have you ever been to a marketing concert? insane what country marketing what did i say he sings about the four p's of marketing product place price promotion do you even know about those i do as of now all right there you go well he's got a whole song about it that's you know all of that he would love to do anything. Anything with singing for anyone, Greg Rich is down. He's all about it. That's awesome.

That sounds incredible. I think a lot of our dads would rather have our job than... The jobs they have. You know what me and you have in common? Mac schools. Papa Greg's. Papa Greg's? Really?

All right. Greg is... Greg, the name's kind of dying out, isn't it? Yes. I haven't seen a baby Greg in a long time. Baby Greg. And my mom's Linda, too. Also, there are no new Lindas. There's not been a new Linda in 30 years. It's like a 10-year window

of Lindas, I think. Yeah, that's true. What kind of name is Linda? Mexican? Yeah, she's a Mexican woman. Your mom's a Mexican woman? No. I wouldn't believe it. Like, Linda, doesn't that mean like...

Actually, no, I think you're right, though. Spanish? Yeah, I think there are Lindas that are Mexican. I don't know. I just thought it was a Spanish word. Loma Linda? There's a Mexican restaurant called Loma Lindas around. Pretty.

It's like a city, too. German roots. Lind. Huh. Let's watch these TikToks. Yeah, pull the TikToks. So we're ranking these what? I think he wants to know who wins.

January to December. I think he wants us to pick a winner, but we can do whatever we want. So is the best month the highest, or is it? It's really just January to December. You'll feel which one is which I think. I think. I don't know.

How many are there? Probably 12 exactly. I think there was six. It looked like there was maybe six to eight. Okay, perfect. They're going to be pretty quick.

Is this your dad's song? Yes. Oh, yeah. I think they all have his song in the background. I like this genre. It's marketing folk. Yeah, folky. It's marketing, folk. Yes, Hokey. Oh!

There I am. Alright, pretty good. You could tell they were acting. So what do you want to say? Yeah, you could. What do you think it is? It's going to be a lot of that. That was very literal.

Or is that like November? I couldn't read the text. The month scale. April. April? Okay, yeah, that was April. We'll give them April. Deservedly.

Oh, this is a good one. The ship's a bunch of crashes. Ships are really slow. Trains can't leave the track. So they went to the locations of your dad's lyrics. Oh. Trucks and water, rail and air might just be fine. But don't forget about the pipeline.

They got a better song. They got a better song. So that helps them out. Yeah, but they went to all these locations like railroad. They found a better song. They got a better song, so that helps them out. Yeah, but they went to all these locations like railroad. They found a plane. They did find a plane, didn't they? I don't know where they found a plane. It's impressive.

What's it called when a television episode's all in one room? A bottleneck episode? I think so. So that first one was a bottleneck, classic bottleneck. This one, they travel. I like that one. I like that. That's a little better.

You want to go March? October. Wait. I think that you guys are messing up by saying better and worse. I think it's just going to correlate to a month. I could be wrong. Oh, that was March. So we have two Marches?

That was a March. That was a March. So we have two straight Marches? I don't think you guys know. You said April. Okay, April and March. So we have two Marches? That was a March. That was a March. So we have two straight Marches? I don't think you guys know. You said April. Okay, April and March. Okay. I don't know.

Have you guys ever seen a March? I don't think. But yeah, March. We're in a March. Okay. Pride Parade was kind of a March. Life cycle. Graph.

This is already giving me November, but... This is someone who came to college expecting to do a bunch of PowerPoint presentations. They were afraid to show their face in the video. They were. Oh, yeah. Was this a group project, obviously? Yes, I believe so. So one person did that.

That was... Oh, February? Yeah, February or November. February or November. February. February, okay. February, February. DC and Marvel. February or November. February. February, okay. February, February. DC and Marvel.

Wait a minute. Dr. Peeper. They had a lot of spelling errors in that first one. They did. Oh, those guys are cool, though. They're cool. Well, some kind of a check. Okay, that's lame, I do admit. But does it help your understanding? Benefits of branding. All these different...

Well, that was cute. Man, there's a lot more of these, I think. Yeah. I think there's a good amount more. This one has potential. They're out somewhere doing something. I want to's a good amount more. This one has potential. They're out somewhere doing something. I want to see a prank. I want to see someone get hurt.

Yeah. That would be a deal. Cash and draft, air, gain, and time. All Procter Gamble products. If you wonder why would P&G, one company, sell so many laundry detergents. Well, you see, with this divergence, each brand can be possessed. Oh! July.

July. That was... I like the way the cart kept moving. That was a creative shot. It was. That was a good shot. It was like Spielberg. I'm good with July. It was like that one roaming shot in True Detective. Oh, they got a green shot. It was. That was a good shot. It was like Spielberg. I'm good with July.

It was like that one roaming shot in True Detective. Oh, they got a green screen on this one. Okay. Mm-hmm. respect to acquire free stuff the more they fly in the air foes are a passion for those in the fashion but some of us just don't care and you can't be all things to everyone you see so fortunately there's segmentation uh-huh. Fuck yeah. Well, they used a green screen.

September, folks. Oh, this one's dope. This one's dope. Yeah, this guy's immediately cool. Like Kool-Aid's a drink, but some people think it's best used to dye your hair. Frequent flyers expect to acquire free stuff the more they fly in the air. Foes are a passion for those into fashion, but some of us just don't care. And you can't be all things to everyone you see.

Are you guys following any of this? Yes. I can't read it. Segmentation. Oh, nice typo. Nice typo save. I feel like there's a lot more. Yeah, get comfortable. All right.

What did we say for that one? Also September. Yeah. Good call. I like when they leave the school to go do something. I like the people that are out of the store. I like what pop should Morgan buy for her business? Hey.

Oh, yeah, that's a good prompt. ... ordinarily, though not necessarily... Safe choice. ... influence what buyers buy, but frequently they don't decide that's true. And that is why when salespeople try to get past the gatekeeper, they don't care about the users. What a tune. All right.

What inspires your papa? Marketing. I think he's just going through chapters. How have you not talked about this before? I was saving it until I got a little more comfortable. I was going to bring up my dad. He has no songs about John. Only songs about John.

Oh, no. There are songs about John. There are songs about John? There's a song or two about John. Oh, I love that. It's on iTunes, Greg Rich. Everyone go look up Greg. Spotify?

Yes, Spotify, iTunes, Greg Rich. How did you feel when you heard the song about you? It was good. It was a little mean. No, it wasn't mean. My son kind of is a little bitch. A little. No, I liked it.

I liked it. He wrote about me before he wrote about my brothers. Really? Yeah. So you're the fave-y. Yeah, so I think I'm the favorite. Or you're his muse. You're his muse.

And then they definitely passed me for a while, but then once I got hired at Barstool, I think I'm probably the favorite again. Let's go. Yeah. I mean, your dad sees you as his ticket out of here. We're marketing him right now. Yeah.

You got to get his knowledge. Oh, he's going to love this. Oh, Marketing 101. What does he teach? Marketing what? He's a professor in the College of Marketing. He teaches like a sales and management class. Other classes.

I'm not sure. They all have the theme of marketing, I think. Interesting. Before he became a professor, was he a salesman? Like, what was he selling? other classes i'm not sure they all have the theme of marketing i think interesting before he became a professor was he a salesman like what was he selling no he worked at a tv station no he's never sold anything in his life so it's a little bit of a fraud no sometimes marketing isn't the same as sales he worked at a tv station he worked worked on the show called Happy the Hobo the Clown. Happy the Hobo the Clown? Yeah, Happy the Hobo. It was like a central Indiana.

Can we see what this clown looked like? Yeah, I don't know if you can find Happy the Hobo. He made some commercials. Kate does love a clown. I do. Yeah, oh yeah. I don't know. I mean, this was a while ago.

I don't know if Happy the Hobo made the internet. Has to. Her dad has a song called Stephanie My Stoma Nurse. Oh yeah, this was a while ago. I don't know if Happy the Hobo made the internet. Has to. Your dad has a song called Stephanie, My Stoma Nurse. Oh, yeah. It's a song about a stoma nurse. Yeah. He had a hot stoma nurse.

Oh, she was hot? Oh, yeah. Oh, Greg. Yeah. Oh, the guy who did Happy the Hobo is dead. Happy himself? That makes sense. Mike Fry. Was it in Indiana?

Anything about Indiana? Yeah, Indianapolis. Okay. You didn't live that long. I guess 70 years. Longer than some. Just ask Roan. Wait, that beard is fake.

Is he a mime? Wait, what is the facial paint there? It's like half mime, half clown. Half. Where's the hobo come in, and what's the badge? I think the hobo's the hat and the wide tie. Oh, yeah, hobos have the widest ties. Yeah, they slept wrapped up in their tie like a blanket.

I'm pretty sure on the shows my dad's hands were in the show. I think there was a big hand that came in and handed people. A big hand? Yeah, I think a big hand came in, and that was my dad. Oh, killed himself. Happy killed himself? I think it's immune disorder. Basically.

Yeah, so his body killed him. So he kind of did kill himself unwittingly yeah a lot of people yeah a lot of yeah yeah chalk it up that's um that's a cool ass story about your dad though i feel like that's a cool lineage that he could he could go from working on a tv show to just like being a professor in a different way and still get creative stuff off he dropped out of it's probably boring he dropped dropped out of medical school. He was going to be a doctor and then worked for this TV show and then went back to business school.

Does he have any music videos? He does now. He might. Oh, I don't know. He's probably on YouTube, but I don't think he has any. I need to hear more about Stephanie the Stoma Nurse. I got to get a Stoma Nurse. Stephanie the Stoma Nurse. Can we hear a little clip of it? I don't think he has any. I need to hear more about Stephanie, this nurse. Stephanie, the stoma nurse. Can we hear a little

clip of it? I don't know if that's... You can find it. I'm sure you could if you type in Stephanie, my stoma nurse. It's on the album Wins... Oh, no, it's on Cancer Survivor. It's on Cancer... Yeah, because you had... It's spelled S-T-E-F A-N-I-E, which is tough for SEO, but well, maybe it's unique. There might be other It's spelled S-T-E-F-A-N-I-E, which is tough for S-E-O.

Well, maybe it's unique. There might be other Stephanie stoma nurses that are getting written about. Damn. I just remember she was really hot. I never saw her, but I heard she was hot. From the song. From the song. And from my dad.

Did your dad do a podcast with her, too? I don't think so. What? Changing the stigma of having a stoma with guest Stephanie. Living with a stoma. Her dad has a podcast? That can't be my dad. It's from a podcast called The Beautiful Bag. It might be Stephanie though.

What's a stoma? See, I'm getting it confused with an enema. I'm getting it. Yeah, I think it's a... It had something. It was similar to an enema, though, because that was kind of the joke. Opening in the abdomen that can be connected to either your digestive or urinary system to allow waste to be diverted out of the body. There's a podcast called The Beautiful Bag, and this beautiful lady in a beautiful pair

of underpants is wearing a stoma bag. Good for you. Underpants? She has Stephanie on to stoma bag. Good for you. Underpants? She has Stephanie on to talk about it. With an F. Stephanie spelled the way he just said it. It's got to be. It's probably her.

How many other Stephanie stoma nurses spelled that way? How many hot stoma nurses? Can we hear what her voice sounds like? It sounds so hot. Come on, let me find it. I can try to text him real quick and see if we can confirm. What did your mom think about him having the hots for this stoma nurse? I don't know.

I think she was mostly just happy he didn't die of cancer. He came out horny? She was probably thankful of Stephanie. Surgery was a success, but one problem, he's going to be horny as hell for the rest of his life. Teetering on death's door has got me hard as a rock. For real, though. Yeah, it might.

I'm going to shoot my shot. It is. Bag of shit coming out of my abdomen doesn't deter me. Honey, the good news is I'm going to make it. The bad news is I'm out of here. Where did you find this podcast? I just Googled Stephanie Stoma Bag or something. I know that Stephanie is a 22-year-old from Scotland who came on the podcast to talk about her.

So it's definitely not the same stuff. Damn. So there's multiple Stephanie Stoma nurses? Yes. So the SEO is... Damn. Yeah. That's crazy.

Sad, really. Yeah, go look up Greg Rich. If you like marketing songs. Be subscribed. Yep, me too. We've got to get to a concert. He'd come here on the drop of a hat. But I'm saying we've got to get out to him.

Sell out a concert for like, what cancer did he have? Colon. Let's do colon cancer awareness. In Ohio, he plays the show. We go out,

play roof ball. Proceeds go to colon cancer. Does he like to perform live? Oh yeah. Yeah? Yeah, done.

I could make that happen. Live show in Ohio. If you guys actually want to do it, it could happen. Yak Live. That shit sounds fun to me. We do have a good house for roofball, I think. How close are you to Columbus? Two hours.

Okay. I'm about to Wapakoneta. One hour. Okay, perfect. That's a little far. We could do it in Wapakoneta. How do you say it? How do you pronounce it?

Wapakoneta. Oh. Oh. I would say Wapakoneta. Oh, you've only read it. I've only read it. Oh, you've never been? That's where the Space Museum is.

Yeah. Right? Oh, you've never been? I think it was the Free Space Museum. Do you guys mind if we putt a little bit? No. Yeah. That sounds great.

I already tried it. I don't know where our mouth is. You already tried it? How's it going? One of five, I think. Our friends at TaylorMade are giving away 25 kick-ass prizes to 25 lucky stoolies during their season opener sweepstakes. Prizes include everything from a grand prize,

full bag of new TaylorMade clubs, to a new Stealth II driver, to a Spyder GTX putter. Now through May 18th, go to taylormadegolf.com slash barstool sweeps to celebrate the season's first major and unofficial start to the golf season. That's right, 25 chances to win the best golf equipment around. So what are you waiting for? Head to TaylorMadeGolf.com slash BarstoolSweeps and enter TaylorMade's season opener sweepstakes today. Roan, every putt you miss is an extra added mystery shot

to your gallon jug. I'm taking five. I'm taking five shots. Big hole means we get to goose you. Small hole is the only way you can win. You get to choose who gooses you. I want John Rich. Yeah.

I get to goose you? If he goes in big hole. It's an honor. And Roan. Those golf balls you were using. The tour response stripe. Strike. Those are nice Real beauts

That's going to go straight as an arrow Guaranteed And if not buddy That's user error That's one extra Dang it That was user error Man these are smooth to hit though Oh, that's one extra. Dang it. That was usually where... Man, these are smooth to hit, though.

Do you guys have your special guest for tomorrow? Mm. Hmm. I want mine to be Langone, but I haven't asked yet. Ask Langone. Can it be anyone? Anyone. Do they have to work here?

Mine isn't. Oh. I hope it's who I think it is. I think me and Kyle are sharing a special guest. What is this? Tomorrow. I'm not going to be here. Oh, then it's just mine. Rowan, how many misses is this? That's just zero misses

so far. Okay, zero misses. Too much pace. And can we say rest in peace to KB's Iron Man streak? Everybody's going to get a little bit closer. Oh, no, it's not active. Oh, yeah, you're right. But everybody's going to get a little bit closer. I hate it. Now I'm like consciously trying to little bit closer. I know. I hate it.

Now I'm like consciously trying to keep that up. I'm never missing a day again. I quit Rediscovering America. Fuck. Are you guys going to be away for like three months for Rediscovering America? Not anymore. Why, that changed? Oh, yeah.

Why? They said it was a done deal, and were prepping for it And we got dates Did we ever even say what it was? No Okay, okay Yeah, we were gonna Do a Mediterranean cruise We were supposed to fly to Athens

Like a dream vacation Dubrovnik, Croatia And we had a couple days off Then we were gonna go to Biza Barcelona What? It was signed

We were prepping And it just fell through What do you mean? I donona. It was signed, we were prepping and it just fell through. What do you mean? It was all confirmed. The whole thing fell through? Yeah. We had meetings for dates.

It's Brandon's. It actually is. Can't blame yourself on that one. Can't blame yourself on that one. Can't blame yourself. Can't blame yourself. You're doing pretty bad. Actually, you have to because these tailor-made clubs and balls are perfect. Horrible.

So that's accurate, but not precise. You're not lining up the line on the ball. You've got to line up the ball. Or precise, but not accurate. Same spot, but not where it wants to be. Oh! If it rolls back, you get it. You wouldn't last a second at Foggy Bottom.

Okay, now I'm getting the hang of it. You're getting the hang of it now. I can't go for the big hole? You can. Oh. John Rich will have to goose you, though. Why do we have the stopper in? Can't we have the thing roll back?

Oh, come on. Not too bad, Kate. Let's get it on the first try. Okay. First try. I'm going to do it one-handed. Okay. I'm going to do it this way.

That's different. Okay. That was good, though. Good, good, good. Sloppy performance. Kyle, you want to go, don't you? No, I already went. One for five.

You hit the big hole, so that means John Rich gets it. Let me go for some. Let me hit some. Go, go. Okay. Cool. Okay. Here you go. All right. man golf is fun golf is fun i'd love to make it a hobby of mine i want to do i love par three courses oh yeah good par three i just bring a pitching wedge and a putter. Yep, that's all you need. John! Hammer didn't get it.

Never happened. He did get that one in the small hole. New show coming out tonight at 8 p.m. A hole-in-one on the first try. A dad with a marketing album. The wire is bullshit. The wire is going under there, but just for the record. Oh, a second one in.

Wait, John, are you a golfer? It used to be my whole life, and then I hated it, so I quit. It used to be my whole life, and then I hated it, so I quit. Things that are usually your whole life usually end up hating. You get to do that again. In my defense, there's a wire under that. So it's probably what threw my ball off. So I was trying to go straight up the line, not across. I like a little diagonal.

He's reading the green. He's reading the green. I'm green illiterate. Whoa! He's the best golfer in the office. He might be. He's the best golfer in the barstool. Frankie missed the ball when he did it.

That five? That was my five? Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Was that three for five? Yes, that was. Three for five.

Dang. It's that smooth club feel. You know, I have a theory about something. I can't confirm this, but I'm pretty sure this is what happened. I posted a picture of my swing on Twitter, like, whenever I was in Colorado, like a month or so ago. And then a few people responded, like, kind of taking shots at the foreplay pod because, like, I had a good swing. Yeah. And I responded to one of them.

I, like, had some drinks, and they were like, oh, a better swing. And I was like, yeah, definitely. I think they all unfollowed me. The foreplay crew? Yeah. I'm pretty sure they all unfollowed me. Well, I mean, do they follow you now? No.

So they did. Yeah. If they did at one point. Unless it was like before or something like that. But I'm pretty sure that is what happened. Oh, it had to have been it. Pretty sure that is what happened. It had to have have been it. Pretty sure that is what happened. That had to have been it.

I can't 100% confirm that. Down to one. What did you say specifically? They said, better swing than any of the four play guys. And I replied, I didn't say it. And it got 100 likes. Oh, that's, yeah. Trent.

Yeah, none of them anymore. So they, I don't know. have you noticed a frostiness interpersonally between you guys I've always thought they were a little frosty towards me I just figured it was new separately I have been unfollowed by one of the foreplay members on multiple occasions

I won't dive further into it and I like all of them individually me too this happened many years ago. I haven't checked. Jay's been unfollowed by multiple foreplay guys, Nick. No, no, no. By one foreplay guy multiple times. Nick, get your crew in line.

You hear what they're doing? Who was it, Stephen? I'm not going to dive further into it. Why? Because I like all of them individually. Then you're doing the other two dirty then. That's fine. Oh. But you're saying you like them so you're not going to say

that they unfollowed you? Yeah. This was a few years ago, but yeah, it happened. It has nothing to do with you liking them. Because I remember getting the notification like, wait, I thought this person already followed me. No one's going to dislike this person for doing that to you. That's fine. I'm three for three, baby.

It was Trent. I'd have been Trent. It was Trent. Yeah, well, it was Trent. I was muted. Whoever, I mean, you can draw your own conclusions. It was Trent. Trent muted you?

Was it Trent? Trent unfollowed John Rich for a Twitter reply and Jay for a separate reason. He doesn't need the bullshit in his life. I respect it. I respect it. I respect it. He doesn't need his mental health is more important than that.

And two guys off the yak just making fun of him. Poor shame John. I just posted my swing man. Next you're going to be fucking dragging luggage

off the fucking bachelor set. I'm over three. I don't think any of them follow me. You're over three? Oh no. Say you're 0 for 3? What did you say? Kate, what did you say to make us... 0 for 3?

Does it say it at the top if they follow you? Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm 0 for 3. Oh my god! I've been to their tournaments like five times. No, you went to their tournaments? What the hell? On Instagram? Did you tweet like, I hate golf,

and you lost Trenton Riggs, and then you said, and food, and then you lost Frankie? I don't know. Interesting. God damn. Oh, shit.

Guys, I gotta go get ready for the rundown. Oh, yeah. Are you on? I'm on today. You got five, ten minutes if you need it. Who am I on with?

You got a power fucking trio. You, Grace, and Pat. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Alright, thanks, guys. Video at 8. We never picked a winner. Do we want to pick a winner? It was more just like their months. They're correlated with the month. Like, does a winner get something?

I'll just let my dad know the information. Yeah, yeah. And then he'll decide who wins. It's like whatever month he thinks is the information. Yeah, yeah. And then he'll decide who wins. It's like whatever month he thinks is the best. All right. We'll figure it out. Who are we to say who's the best or what month is the best? I'll tell you what.

He doesn't like October. That was the first track on Cancer Survivor. A long October. The smell of hospitals and women. I know. I could learn more about. I learn better through song. Oh, really? Yeah. The smell of hospitals and women. I know. I could learn more about I learned better through song. Oh, really? Yeah.

I think so. Like the fucking Animaniacs and shit. Listing states and presidents and shit. Yeah. I feel like that's a pretty good.

Asher Roth taught me a lot. Like Pat Stark. I never knew Pat Stark. What did Asher Roth teach you through song? He teach you who the He uses a lot of He uses a lot of references, like hyper-specific.

Yeah. Sometimes people, yeah, yeah. I feel like even just putting something into a, like putting a list into a song makes it, sews it into your brain a little bit better. I don't fucking know, bro. Yeah, you do. I just know it works for me, man. I don't know about everybody else. Yeah, you do. I just know it works for me, man.

I don't know about everybody else. We're all wired differently, you know? And that's the great thing about a show like the Yak. 4'9"? What is it? 4'18". Mr. 4'18". Wow.

I think we're starting early tomorrow. Are we? Nick Central. Three of us. Wait, so what do we need to bring in for these magical mysteries? Or should we talk offline about that? What about a Borg? What do we bring in? Let's talk offline because I think

there's some guidelines that we have to stay in. They promised me that Barstool wasn't going to change. Okay? Freaking guidelines? No, we'll talk offline about it. But we are wearing a jersey. The Failing Upwards guys

said that hockey jerseys aren't it. Aren't it? Yeah, I thought that they were going to be it or something like that, but Failing Upwards says they're not. They're popular in the hardcore community. Wear shorts and a hockey jersey and go to shows.

That's a cool look. I fuck with the Blackhawks hockey jersey. That's dope. Little racist. Ours is tough because nobody looks good in that orange. I hate orange. I have a Pens one. It's just a black jersey.

It's fine. Has anyone rocked the orange? I just don't like the color. What do you mean? Orioles? Browns? I like the bird logo, but no. It's tough to rock the orange.

I think it's tough to rock purple, too. Oh, it is. I like purple. You hear that, Zaha? He's wearing purple right now. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Jay's been wearing purple all week.

The only purple jersey I think I like is the purple and gold LA Kings. I think that crown on it. ECU, I think, has tough jerseys. He's the black and purple. I like purple. Kings, Sacramento Kings. Side note, should we spin the wheel really quick? Oh, yeah.

Just in case. Good call, good call. Okay wheel really quick? Oh, yeah. Just in case. Good call, good call. Okay. John Rich is on it if need be. Yes. Yes. And his dad. Yeah.

Yeah. His dad would do it. I do think his dad would do whatever the wheel asked. And we're dry. Beautiful. Easy peasy. Never sweat. All right. Those hot dogs hit the spot. Those were so good. Thank you. Beautiful. Easy peasy. Never sweat. All right.

Those hot dogs hit the spot. Those were so good. Thank you. I ate both of mine. Thanks, Ryan. Very good. Good opening day dog. Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't talk about baseball at all. Or actually, we did. A little bit. We did talk a little bit about baseball. Cool. All right. All right. We'll be back tomorrow for the act.

Hey, KB, have a fucking great wedding, man. My man. Yeah. Monday. Yeah. All right. Have a fucking great wedding, man. My man. Monday. Yeah. Alright. Have a freaking great wedding. It's the act It's the act It's the act