The Yak - KB's New Drip Brings the Show to a HALT | The Yak 4-8-25

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Look what you made me do spaghettiYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. That was incredible. Oh, cute. Really? Hello, it's the Yak. Robak.com, promo code Yak yak 20% off first purchase cues. It's polos hoodies joggers shorts row back calm promo code yak. I Mean it's it's a show stopper. I didn't want to be this in a good way

You did not what it's a show stop what you mean? Okay That shirt I didn't know we were gonna talk about the shirt. I didn't see it fully until I looked at the screen right in front of us. You've stopped the show. That was not my intention. I thought we would breeze right past all of our looks. It's incredible. We rarely stop on our looks, but you have you. You have changed the paradigm here. But but Kyle's also the one guy who we do stop on his looks because we do.

We said that the other day. I didn't foresee that at all. I thought we just went into the show talk about pencil when we got to talk about pencil Oh, there's some people who are mad about the pencil. I'm I don't want to talk about no I don't either but like hey, we stretched out the pencil made bigger Yeah pencil pencil talk for you know four days in a show that again is live every day. What's the shirt talks? Pencil talk for you know four days in a show that again is live every day. Let's do shirt talks Is the pencil man? I want to say fuck you to anyone who's like get off the pencil I I'm I makes me want to do more This shirt yeah, let's normalize dressing for ourselves um

Where did you get it? I looked up cool NYC streetwear for post grads, okay? When did you do it? I didn't want like college streetwear. Could you stand up real quick from awake NYC? I think okay I have shoes that are awake NYC it it's it's perfect it's like I Kind of want to go on a bachelor party with you right now. I was like it's a good April shirt Yeah, get us into spring day drinking shirt Yeah, or show shopping than your suits last week might have to change the wheel to just show shop show You guys may have seen this one before I guess not No, that one is I would have I would remember that I remember that one saw on somebody else

Maybe I don't think anyone else could pull that off. I've never seen anybody even attempt that. ASAP Ferg. Lucas, can you find ASAP Ferg? And the roulette shirt? Nick is sick by the way, he puked. He looked in the mirror and puked. You got him good with that. I'm gonna use that the rest of my life. Yeah, he texted the group, he's like,

hey, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna come in today. I was throwing up all night. I said shouldn't have looked in the mirror Gotcha probably payback for stealing man teaking. Oh, yeah, what was that video? I didn't see it. We stole man teaking. Can I see it? I would say he improved it. Oh, I was like he made an TK man teaking good a son Ferg not wearing this shirt click images Well, there's a shirt there is the shirt Well, there's the shirt. There is the shirt. $90, Kyle. Whoa. Okay. I like the, I love the shirt. I don't like the shirt. I love the shirt.

Nobody should have a $90. $90 for just a Tuesday throwaway. That's what I'm on. That's some good disposable cash. What a sale too. Yeah. I'll wear it again. I don't think you will. I think it's a good golf shirt. Kyle, I fear this is the only time you will ever wear that shirt. This one I'll pass along.

Promise me that I'm going to walk in one day, and Rudy's going to be wearing that shirt. I thought it was going to be like a bad shirt that's interesting. No, it's a good shirt. It's not a good shirt. Yes, it is. It's a good shirt. Where would not a good shirt. Yes it is.

I don't think it's a good shirt. Where would you wear this and be like, oh, good. Vegas, the Yak. The Yak. Anus Studio. Yeah. Barstool Sports at large. The shit that I do.

Out and about in Chicago. Yeah, like your single uncle is bringing that to his Vegas trip and wearing it. He might bring it to Thanksgiving being like, hey, don't talk to me unless you're ready to party. Yeah, well, I'm wearing a collar I'm dressed nice. Yeah, yeah, you can see the the ball is on double zero. That's a huge payout But yeah, we were talking about this before that's that's like an annual wear if you even if you were to wear that again five

Months from now someone's gonna be like you always wear that yeah Yeah, yeah, cuz it stops you like I will remember this day for remember the roulette sure Yeah, looks like you chose a bad day to wear the amtrak hoodie Kate The amtrak what a bad beat for you Fifty dollars Waste compared to you. That feels silly now. Brutal.

You probably thought we were going to give you 10 minutes on your Amtrak. I did. You had what you had prepared. I was cracking up when I picked it out this morning. I was like, yeah, they're going to notice this. And then I saw you come in. He stomped on you. He stomped on you.

It's embarrassing. Got him. If you guys are playing roulette, what's the strategy? Inside, outside? There he goes feel you you commented on the strategy of the depiction of this shirt. I hate the zero I just go colors have any of you ever won big on roulette. I did yes, what'd you what? The what when I was in the Bahamas in February my wife called the color correctly like 15 out of 16 times. Whoa.

And we were just rolling in it. It was awesome. That's gotta feel. Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah, she was just like black, red. The recent trip? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. It was pretty sick. Gave her her moment. Yeah, that's cool. And then, but then I also, I was like, when I went on my 16 and 0 run I was like this like pretty insane She was like didn't I do that on the roulette wheel I was like no

Gotcha When she when she's on that hot streak you up in the bets every time yes of course like an idiot you just want a casual 200 grand last night yeah Yeah, 250, 260. Oh my god. How come? We don't talk about this enough. What? I feel like you've become the best futures better than I've ever met.

I've been hot. Every championship we get to, you're like, I have a future on. I've been hot. I had the Eagles and I had this one. No, I did have, I did obviously, I bet on Wisconsin to win it all. Sure. I was a loser, St. John's and what was my other one? Oh, you caught out of respect.

I did that after last year. But yeah, the last three NCAA titles. You did one on Mississippi State at the beginning of the year. That was two years ago. That was two years ago. And I cashed that out. Yeah. After like the third game.

I would hope so. Yeah, no, it was awesome. I was very nervous. It was very fun So you have three future winners in the past year? I have three future winners in the past Oh my god, there's only so many sports that you bet on well Heisman Super Bowl in this. Yeah, I'm hot. That's really good Yeah, feels good. It's in the last six months. Yeah, and I'm still down. You're still down. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah still yeah

Like I had you know people pocket watch when I post that slip and they're like oh post your losers like dude I'm pretty sure I'm honest about this. I'm a bad gambler like I'm That future was like maybe to break even on March Madness Jesus March Madness? Jesus Christ. Oh, on March Madness alone? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'd have to cut some numbers. But it wasn't a good three weeks up until that. You're down, but it's been a net positive.

You get the thrill of winning those big games. Yeah, oh yeah. It's so funny. Placing the bets. And also it's like not... Like I understand that I'm in a different level than I was ten years ago where it's like You know it's very it's still very cool to win that but I also know that I will lose all of that I don't know second by the second round of the NBA playoffs

You also have the Sion too. Oh Yeah, I did that was smaller. I did have a Sion Tariq Scoobal. That was a Detroit guy gave me that Yeah, it's handed me an envelope and just said bet Tariq Scoobel. That was a Detroit guy gave me that. He's handing me an envelope and just said, bet Tariq Scoobel. Really? Yeah. You know his name?

It's actually Tariq Scoobel. Sorry, I screwed that up. He's a great guy. He's been on PMT. No, we were at the draft in Detroit last year taking pictures and doing a meet and greet, and a guy just handed me an envelope didn't say anything He said open it when I leave I opened it and it just said bet Terrick scoobl to win the Cy Young plus 400 and I did it right then and then he won So this guy's the man the man I actually so I I gave him a piece you did. Yeah, of course

How could I not? It's a childish name. So I I gave him like I think I gave him a piece. You did? Yeah, of course. How could I not? It's a childish name. So I gave him like, I think I gave him a thousand dollars and then I also connected him with Tarek Scoobal. I was like, I hit up Tarek Scoobal, I was like, can you follow this guy? He's like your number one fan and they've been DMing. So it was kind of a cool moment. Yeah, if you were handed the last name Scoobal, what first name do you pair with it? See? You got to go with the race.

He's right on. Scoobble is God. Scotty Scoobble? Wait, but then go to his profile, because I know that he DMed. I told Scoobble, I was like, hey, Scoobble, can you follow him? And I'm pretty sure he has a convo that he had with Scoobble. Yeah, after five months of patiently waiting

Terrick Scoob will confirms he in Detroit John are officially friends so he DMed him and Terrick Scoob will waited till the basically opening day and So what was the first question are we friends are we friends? Yeah, so yes So that's pretty cool hard to say does this mean we were friends now So this guy who handed me the envelope ended up winning. He's now friends with his idol Via DM. What's the most like outlandish? Tip you've gotten like that like someone random coming up to you. I Mean hitting on an envelope giver. That's credible. What were the odds at the time? I think it was four to one

Still still you'd like commit to an envelope, and I'm not an AL guy, like I didn't know. Is he an envelope guy though? Who? The guy who gave it to you? I don't know. Toss him out. Throwing out envelopes everywhere. You think there's losers giving out? If he does, that's still, I still respect it because if you hit one envelope giver.

That's true. Yeah, I mean it was an incredible story. I loved it. I also, there was one bad part about last night. So I think I've, I don't know if I said it on this show there was one bad part about last night. So I think I've I don't know if I said on this show but so every year in when March Madness starts our security guys Mike Pat Danny they're all they all like travel around with us because we've done March Madness where we've been at casino whatever live shows San Antonio.

So every year before the first game I tell Mike pick a team and I'll bet on that team for you guys and I'll give you the slip so every year they do it I bet 5k on whatever team they want and every year they've had like tragic like they had Kentucky last year who lost Jack Goukki this year of course I told him to pick the team six Six to one, five grand, so five grand to win 30 grand. Handed them the slip. Houston. Yeah.

I felt bad for them. They were able to hedge a little, but that was like, of course, the one year, they're directly against me. So they still won a little money. They won some money, yeah. Good for them. That sucked. I wanted them to win. Not as bad as I wanted to win, but I wanted them to win. They're a good group. Yeah, but for them, that sucked. I wanted I wanted them to win not as bad as I wanted to win. But I wanted them to

win. They're the better good group. Yeah, solid group of dudes. I had planned it out because the game was so Houston was winning like the entire game. So I was like, I'm fucked. I was like, at least I'll get some karma out of like, making them cash the ticket and taking a picture being like, look, they won. I swore they were gonna win. I did, too. I felt it in my bones.

The nature of the game. That's what you want to run. It was a crazy game. Do you see the Houston stat about their average mile time? It's 519. Dude, they're... have you seen their practices? Can you find it, Lucas? I haven't seen anything about them.

They wrestle in practice. They must go hard. It's like their 6'9 guys are running a low five-minute mile. They are... like like I do feel bad because Kelvin Samson is a great great coach and they're like they're doing it a different way than everyone else in terms of like Look at this. This is their practice. They just at the end of practice. They just wrestle for the ball That's some shit we would do he also does a surely I think Yeah, that's some shit we would do. He also does a thing. Shortly.

I think Kelvin Sampson famously does a thing too where he literally puts a lid on the rim so that no shots go in. I love this dude. I gotta look him up. Kelvin Sampson. Kelvin Sampson. Does he have a son with the same name? Kellen.

That's his son. But yeah, he's Kevin with an L. Kelvin Sampson. Kelvin. Kelvin. K-E-L-V-I-N. Cool. Is he the one who was going around like personally getting students to come to the games? Like he was walking around campus getting people?

Yeah, I mean a lot of them do that now. I think he was doing that like eight years ago, nine years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I felt bad. He is a, he's been knocking on the door for a very long time, never won the big one. Still knocking. I mean, still a good accomplishment in my opinion. Yeah, I've been following Nicky smokes having himself a time. Yeah Speaking Chinese wait, so did he post the video cuz I had a moment last night where I gotta see it

Yeah, we gotta see it. I got into bed and I was like wait Nicky smokes is in Gainesville with a camera right now Yeah, I think it's on main and Jacob making it right at the last second. Yeah. It all worked out. What do you mean speaking Chinese? He tweeted out, I followed his journey on Twitter last night, he tweeted out about 1130, I'm speaking Chinese. And I have no idea what he meant.

Jay, thoughts? Yeah, he called me. Oh, he did? Oh, he meant I'm speaking two Chinese. He called you on the phone no, it's good We had Kyle you would like you would like Houston you should come to Houston. I just don't understand Houston There's such a massive school such a good basketball program I've never heard anyone talk about Houston's like campus life or anything about it, right?

I don't even know if I know I think in the middle of the city are they in the suburbs? I think they're a sleeping giant in all sports too. Like they- Is that oil money? They're good at football. Money and access to players, yeah. They could be good at football. Is it popping? Like is it like on the other end?

I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know where it is either. It's in Houston. I never heard of it really till this year. Jim Nance. Hakeem Olajuwon. Wasn't allowed on the court.

That was weird. That was weird. That was crazy. Also, I think Roy 10 Cup McEvoy and Don Johnson's character from 10 Cup went to the University of Houston. Oh wow. Yeah, there's that. There's something to think about.

But yeah, you should become a Houston basketball fan because they just, all they do is rebound. I love that. What was his name, Dave? They also, they play basketball unlike any other team where they aren't ever good at shooting. Do they actually wear them out with their stamina? Well, their whole calculus is we'll just get more shots.

David. Because we're gonna get more rebounds. Math 101. We're just gonna shoot, we're gonna out shoot you. Yeah, I love these guys. By volume. David. Who are you looking for?

I can't remember Don Johnson's character's name in 10 Cup. It was Roy 10 Cup McEvoy and then it was David. Don't Google it. You got it. Let me work on that. Find it. It's like your brain doing deadlines. No, that's deep in the recesses of your.

It's in there. Get it. All right, y'all do what you're going to do. We're going to watch Nicky Smoke. Was this a good video or was this a bad video? I don't think anyone's seen it. Starting off bad. Has it been public?

It's on main. It has been posted. So someone else has looked at it and made sure that there's nothing bad in it. Oh, can we be the first to review? Yeah, I guess so. All right, here we go. The Florida Gators are your 2025 National Champion. All right, good. Set the scene.

Yeah. Have a smile. High energy. Go, go, go! I know what they're getting! Good set the scene. Yeah, that is high energy Over under boys screaming, let's go He bleeds orange and blue that's a health problem Oh, that's cool Multicultural welcome to the deal motherfucker

To an interview yelling it up and he skipped definitely lost the other backpack with the poor noise to it So fucking we bought What oh, okay? We got the camera in the mic though take it out of my paycheck Dave. I love you. Oh, I love you Is everyone sweaty? Where are they going it was raining Yeah, okay, your access for the birds Oh He should have made out with her Is he gonna do more of that look at this place? It's a fucking mop I really hope the mic's on. Let's get in the mix. Holy shit. Okay.

I need some of that. What? Okay. A lot of waist pants. Pretty smart. This is like a golf tournament in Arizona right now. What would you do if you saw Walter Cleen right now? I would literally like die, pass out on the spot.

What would you say to Walter Cleen right now? I really want to have your babies, I love you. What would you do if you saw Walter Cleen right now? Oh my god, I would give him a big spooch on the lips. Well first I would shake his hand and ask him how he did it that's nice because I'm... and then I would do a big spooch okay

what would you do? I'd probably plug him plug him? hahaha hey plug or fuck? you said fuck fuck? plug would have been funny plug would have been good

okay this seems dangerous stay hot! and scream to keep up with one another right now it's like the taco shit. Oh yeah, food is on the house. I couldn't go to this school. Yo, yo, fuck you, sir, we want the fucking daddy. Fuck what you're talking about.

What is that? Smoke in the air, smoke in the air. This guy wants it. This guy wants it. I will tattoo your face all over this right now. Dental Aberdeen right here, Walter right here, Walter's daughter right here. Fuck you, man, fuck you, man. Fuck you, Conn.

Fuck Maryland. Clayton is that n***a, man. All my bitch right now dental Aberdeen right here Walter right here Walter's daughter right here He had to take a shirt off a shirt I snuck off there Sims I love this city. It's a great day to be a Gator. Woo! It is a great day to be a Florida Gator. National champs. Alright, reporting live from Gainesville, the Florida Gators here, the 2025 National Champions. We help this bitch. Seems like...

He did what he had to do in the beginning, Laura. Showcased the chaos. Yeah, he did it. He did what he had to do in a little aura. I... Showcased the chaos. Yeah. He did it. I was expecting a lot more Gator Boy stay hot. Yeah, I would have liked him to make out with the chick. Right. I'll say it, I was expecting a little more cleavage.

A little more cleavage. A little more slutty-sluttiness. Would have liked, like, maybe someone in a shopping cart. I'll say it, it's not fair that he gets to win. Yeah. Not right. Yeah. It's, he fair that he gets to win. Yeah. Not right. Yeah. It's, he shouldn't be allowed to win.

Yeah. He's won other things. He wins. He is. He's Florida Panthers. He's a guy that wins. Oh, he does the hockey. Yeah. I sat on the rundown. He's like an expert bandwagon fan.

Yeah. Oh, he's just hitching to all these teams who happen to be winning. I guess that's the solace you can take, Brandon, is that the Dolphins aren't gonna win. Right. Mm-hmm. But you are a Dolphin fan, shit. Didn't really work for me. Solace there.

Didn't work for me. The guy wins at everything, except the thing you have mutually in common. The one link I have to him. Just breaks it. Shit. As it was coming out of my mouth, I realized it wasn't gonna.

He didn't know any of the players. He didn't know Walter Clayton Jr.'s name until a month ago. Yeah. Hate that goate mouth, I realized it wasn't gonna he he didn't know any of the play You know Walter Clayton jr. His name until a month ago Yeah, hate that goatee. I'll say it you do. I do I did not like that goatee. Who's goatee? Clayton I think Walter. Yeah, it's also crazy. I mean there was a tweet that was saying like Walter Walter Clayton So raw that you forget his name is Walter Yeah, which is true because like Walter Payton... Walt Junior. Yeah.

Walter Payton was like, you know, in the 70s, 80s, like that was more when Walters could exist. More common name. 2025, there's not a lot of Walters walking around. The fact that it rhymes with Walter Payton. I know. Yeah. I do love babies with like a baby name Walter is great.

Yeah. What's the dumbest baby name like that's a generic actual name like a George a Richard George George is cutting Georgie can work. It's kind of George Georgie little Georgie. There's my three-month-old this Richard Greg is Greg is tough cuz they know baby like baby like baby if I yeah, there's no like toddy. Yeah Dan there is toddy right Dan's not what Danny would just go Danny Danny boy. That's an old person name But you're able to baby fight and I don't if you have a three month old baby and say hey meet my baby This is Dan and I can see cuz you're gonna call it Danny. No you're gonna work Daniel

Yeah, you're gonna call it. You're not gonna call it Dan, but hold on. It's not an old person name It's just a consistent a consistent name over the there's like biblical name right? Yeah, very Do you know that it was a biblical name idiots, you know that Lucas is I Don't know Daniel and the Lions. Yeah Ever heard of it. No What read the Bible one on you don't know shit Lucas what do you know what do you what is your best subject Lucas I don't know I have to think about it well think about it think about it because I would

like to quiz you on your best subject about it I Taylor Swift songs no next not helping the case that you're not a girl. What's a Taylor Swift song where there's a lyric about a food? She have like a cheeseburger song cheesecake maybe strawberry here Wow Lucas stumped possibly a peanut butter sandwich Food like that she definitely has a son which says the name of a fruit or a yeah, she's got food in her song somewhere She have any song. She have any songs about heartbreak wedding cake or breaking up. Yeah, no, not at all boyfriends I'll be are never getting back together bad blood pudding

No, what was that Song bad blood you eatin Pudding could be about pudding all right Steven give us the time take a minute here take a beat give us the top ten Taylor Swift songs that you can put a food into the title Because bad blood pudding was awful, and I want to get it. I want to get worse here Because bad blood pudding was awful and I want to get it. I want to get worse here This is gonna be good, you know, he's gonna deliver Yeah, no, of course take as much time as you want, but I get off my burger. Yeah. Yeah blank plate

Guys are good Remember shake and bake? Remember it. I eat it every week. We used to do that. Shake and Bake is great. I used to sell a box of Shake and Bake. It's like Hamburger Help. You just toss your chicken in it and shook it around. I do pork chops better.

I think pork chops carry it better. One meal I have every single week is Shake and Bake pork chops, rice and gravy, and green bean caps have every single week is shaking baked pork chops rice and gravy and green bean every week Wow every week. I like weekly meal what day that's usually a Tuesday Wednesday thing when were you guys pizza? Friday night. Yeah Yeah, Friday's Friday Friday night. Yeah, you can't do it any other night as you get older It's sometimes a couple days of the week. Yeah, but Pizza Friday is, that's what you do.

Leftovers. I still do that when Mike is. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, yeah. Pizza Friday. Do you guys switch up where you get pizza from, or do you have your family spots that you order from every time? We go in spurts.

I do the same thing, yeah. Yeah. We go like five in a row, and then we'll switch. I'll have a month where it's all one, and then we're like, let's change it up a little bit. Yeah. Since moving to Chicago or moving back, how often do you find yourself having the deep dish annually?

I like deep dish. I don't get it often. I have it about once a month. Love it. Yeah. There's a place here that I fucking love. That's often. And I get their meat lover's pizza.

It costs a lot, but I love it. Gino's East is the one I like. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, but I like it better in restaurant. I costs a lot, but I love it. Gino's East is the one I like. Yeah. I love it, but I like it better in restaurant. I feel like it doesn't deliver the same. I'm opposite. Can I? I have a deep dish pizza take that I think might be weird,

but I love deep dish pizza the next day. This is right. This is correct. It's like all congealed. It's like chili. It's come together. It doesn't. Also, I don't reheat it. I eat come together. It doesn't it also I don't reheat it

I eat it cold. It doesn't feel as like heavy cold cold pizza has no calories That's a fact. That's a scientific fact if you pull out cold pizza and you eat a slice that's not even eating Can I share a take about Chicago pizza? Yeah, I know that East Coaster's look down on Chicago pizza But if I'm in Chicago and I want a deep-dish pizza, I can get it if I want a thin crust pizza I can get it if I want a there's like six styles of pizza here and I can get all of them and they're all Yeah, so are to try I think it's pretty goddamn good pizza city Even though the New Yorkers in this company would have you believe otherwise Well, here's what New York has that like after living there for six years

I understand it this the floor on New York pizza is higher than anywhere else Yeah, I agree like the you the worst New York pizza is is better than than Like a lot of the country, but that doesn't mean the ceiling is you know the ceiling Oh, there's a lot of trash dollar slices in New York. I see I think I love them like that dough, bro. Yeah, I think dollar slices are even good in New York. I love them, like that dough bros slice. I couldn't believe it. That's what I'm saying, that's the floor. The floor is high.

And it's kind of hard to find straight up just slices around here. Not every pizza place will sell you a slice. So you can't really have it as like a snack almost, like you could in New York. I just love going into, I don't know, a random place like Antioch Pizza, which has 10 locations in the northwest Chicago suburbs

and is now in Texas, Florida, and Minnesota. Use code brand name for 10% off. I just, I love going into a place like Antioch Pizza that has that many locations. Franchising opportunities are available. I want to franchise this pizza from Connecticut. That's my favorite pizza I've ever had. Oh, the one that you took us,

we were driving from New York to Boston. You took us off a little off New Haven. Yes. Yeah Yeah, no stamp the hot oil pizza hot oil. Yeah, it was good. Very good. I'm a Connecticut is We were leaving New York for to the 20th anniversary. Oh that wasn't for gambling I was for the 20th anniversary. We drove who else was in the car hang remember We did Stu's house that day. That's right. You hit me with an egg, we got in the car, and we drove to Boston. That's right.

For the, and that was, cause I was. Oh, cause we had already moved. Cause I was with you cause I had already moved. Yeah, that's right. You kinda glossed over, he hit you with an egg, did you say? Oh my god, you never seen the video of me hitting him with an egg?

This is a key yak moment, this is a live yak. It's one of the greatest throws of my life. This is from your balcony? At Stu's house? No, no, no, no, no. Stu's house. Find it, Lucas. I had professional.

He sniped me from 30 yards. I had professional pitchers. Oh, yeah, I did. I should say pitcher, because it was just Dan Herron. I did see this. He hit me up and be like, your form was perfect there. And we did the egg game where y'all get in a circle. Whoever gets the egg, everybody runs.

Dan threw it at me 90% of the time. You fell, right? Big target. I hit, I head shot it. It was JFK. I fell, I fell really well. It was a good fall. I got nailed too.

I was like eight months pregnant with bronchitis. That's right. I hit you? You got hit in the back, yeah. Listen, equal opportunity. I'm actually a feminist. I know, I've felt it. Being a pregnant woman with an egg makes me a feminist.

I appreciate it that you didn't hold back. Let her in on the games. Yeah. I should have that. Whenever someone questions my misogyny, I'm like, have you ever hit a pregnant woman with an egg? Equal treatment? She got no targets.

Right. Like this is bullshit. She didn't even play. Go ahead and show us that, Lucas. We should play that again. I forgot it. Pull that up. That was an exciting game.

We'll just watch next week. Yeah. With the blood flowing. Oh, great job, Lucas. That's your messages. I forgot it. I pulled that up. That was an exciting game. We'll just watch next week. Yeah. With the blood flowing. Oh, great job, Lucas. That's your messages. Way to go. Yeah, I'm waiting for it to load. Oh, okay.

Okay, well you didn't dox yourself that time. Yeah, good job. Yeah, it would be TJ, but. Is TJ back tomorrow? Yes. Thank God. Thank fucking God. Not that I'll be here, but thank God.

What time's your flight tomorrow? One o'clock. So you're doing mostly sports? No. Who's who's? Flying out of Milwaukee. Couch boys? Couch boys are doing it. Oh, by the way, I should have started the show today.

I would like to say, well, everyone knows it because I was mentioned in the clip, but I like Mark Titus. I also like him. Speaking of bad blood, my right girls. Yeah. Now, I was also the only one who was accused of liking Mark Titus. Speaking of bad blood, am I right girls? Now I was also the only one who was accused of liking Mark Titus. You were. Not Brandon. Just me.

Alright. Oh man, what a hell. Does it have, it also has a slow down, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, because the dog went over and humped you. He got shot in the ear. He got shot in the ear. That was a fun day.

I'm about to hit. Do you have the slow mo? Why did you throw it in my head? That's me again. I ran pretty good too. I went right for you. Got him. I had the slow-mo on my Instagram. I think I posted like a hundred times.

One of those ones like the calf muscles look good. Yeah. Follow-throughs there. The follow-throughs. You gotta have the follow-through. Planted perfectly. The follow throughs. You gotta have the follow through planted perfectly. Breaking a different note. What? What? What? This NBA is doing some weird shit. First the Grizzlies now the Nuggets. What are they the five seed I guess? There was a blow up the

other night between Aaron Gordon and Peyton Watson, but nothing crazy Why that's crazy? He won a championship. He's been successful, huh? Yeah, he won the championship two years ago been in the playoffs every year Of course, he has the best player. I like him too. He's nice. He's a very good coach Your source is there any initial gossip as to why or no, it's complete. Mr. Bout to start Jay Playoffs are about to start. Jay, you're an NBA guy. That's it. That's a wild, wild move. I mean, the Grizzlies fired their coach,

but he was like he was already out. Yeah, he was a lame duck coach. That's extremely surprising. And yeah, they could easily win the West. I thought he was assuming Jamal Murray is healthy. I thought he was like their coach, not for life, but I thought he was like a great for a while. So you're thinking there has There has to have been foul play maybe like something outside if this were college if this were college and this happened right for the tournament

I would say he stuck it somewhere. He shouldn't have yeah, but Like they're the four seed What's kind of the three and the six with Lakers in the Warriors? What? That, the three and the six are the Lakers and the Warriors. What? That's so weird. Good Lord, there's a four-way tie for five through eight? Yeah, they've lost four in a row, but Jamal Murray's missed most of those games.

That's so bizarre. Michael. Michael Malone. That's right. Not Mike. Relative of the statue, perhaps, the Molly Malone statue we were looking at the other day. Possibly.

There's a lot of Malones in the world. Carl, Sam. Oh, Carl. Yeah, they're probably all related. I doubt Carl Malone and Michael Malone are related. You never know with Carl. Maybe Moses. It's Big Justice's 12th birthday.

Today? I didn't know his name was Eric. Oh! Actually, that's not a bad name. I think we knew that. That's not bad. Eric? It's not a 12-year-old.

Yeah. What's the dad's name? AJ. AJ. OK, yeah, you're right. I thought he, I thought Big Justice. They should flip those. The dad should be Eric and the son should be AJ.

Yeah, it makes more sense. What's their last name? Bafumo. Justice. Something like Bafumo. I think it's Bafumo. Eric Bafumo? Yeah, you're right.

He sounds like he was in a scandal in the 90s. Should I FaceTime him? Is he in school? Well, you have. Can't be. I know you have the dad's number. You have the kid's number? No, I don't have the kid's number.

OK, all right. The dad's number is in FaceTime. Did you ever buy the, you didn't buy that kid those expensive shoes did you? They all kids shoes. No, I remember on the show He like said would you buy me the off-whites and you're like, yeah, I might buy you the off-whites But you oh, I think I said I would buy him for him But he's got to get to a size that he's not gonna run out like okay Yeah, all right

Oh, he's got a plateau future because yeah, because I wasn't gonna buy him, you know size nine Off-whites and have them be size 10. Otherwise, I stay broke. Make sure guys. Yeah, I I also he's shocking. What do you do? Oh, he does I I saw the clip I used him of the shoe thing and then he was like no I'm wearing normal shoes and then I did the Find your your big toe and it was He has room to put like a bottle rocket in there. I told him to be Dennis the Menace. I resurfaced the original clip Eddie was alluding to. And Eddie took Dave to a shoe store and got the Brannock device out, which is what you

call that the shoe measuring thing. And his shoe was like, or sorry, his shoe was like or sorry his foot was like barely a size 11 and he was wearing 12 and a halfs that's way too much room way too much yeah Lucas show this clip it's his shoes it's just how does he do it and then he I mentioned the point Nick brought up last week like he tightens his shoes so tight and then he says his shoelaces are too long But it's because his shoes are so tight My favorite is his excuses like my big toe curls. Yeah, what does that even mean? Yeah, just grasping

Forgotten that you wear shoes three sizes too, but I was just an insane I don't what are you talking about you have time half? I feet we measured them. It was 11 and quarter. So he's holding on to that quarter hard It wasn't if you look closely to the video I resurfaced Put on the table, yeah, this is crazy Dave. Can you stay on the table? I don't know None of that is My toes go like this. What does that mean? Big toe is shorter than the rest of my toes. He and Con are finally racing this on Thursday.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're racing? It's a foot race. I guess I forgot they were ever doing this. I guess they challenged each other, and then there was accusations of Con's ducking White Sox Dave.

Oh, oh. Oh, that's Con. Captain Con. Con. How about Conor Griffin? Oh, no, no, no. no captain. Oh, they're gonna foot race. I'm I'll foot race on a track on Thursday That's amazing. Yeah Captain cons is a fit guy, but I feel like White Sox Dave is sneaky fast Wait, White Sox Dave said unless Captain cons can run a sub 630. Yeah, he's got no chance

What'd you say at camp that he white socks? They feel athletic No, I've said to he's surprisingly he'll surprise you with his athleticism He's like Costanza member Costanza is like I can lift the whole yeah over my head White socks if you like this guy can't do anything and then he'll just be like oh, yeah I'll throw 90 miles an hour and I'll run a marathon. You're like what yeah, also he like runs a lot Yeah, I don't think people realize Dave runs a lot Yeah, I Told last night to get into ever not not last night yesterday

I sat down with him and went through his life from birth all the way till now What trying to get his aura like a therapist? I was trying to but you said last night. No, I didn't mean How do you think yesterday I do have met your annual cigarette yesterday? Okay here in the office because we're trying to fix him so I sat down with him like a therapist and like we went through Everything and it was fascinating. What was the most fascinating? Um, I have one thing that's always fascinating. What what's yours? I mean the fact that his dad's name is William Williams Yeah, that will change a man forever. That's a good one I mean, it's just so funny whenever I think of it like yeah his dad's name is William Williams

Several Williams Three Williams to the second mm-hmm. Yeah,, so what what what was the most fascinating? No, he's never lost a fight. I guess that's not His life story, and it's just Paul Bunyan Yeah, so I Won't send it the internet. Yeah, I once took a step and that's how Lake Michigan was created I think he feels he's misunderstood. Okay. Okay. That is a core tenant of the White Sox Dave experience Yes, he feels misunderstood and I think we're gonna like try to fix that. Okay, so I don't want to give too much away

He's misunderstood because he himself misspeaks. Yeah about himself and he misunderstands things right so like it's himself. And he misunderstands things. Right, so it's totally reasonable that everyone misunderstands him. But if I had one prediction, so I was watching the clip of you guys calling cons addressing the race off, and it ended. Just a race.

A race off. Yeah, whoa. That's what they call things, instead of like, or sorry, they call it a runoff. Okay, but um at the end it cut off a little too soon I couldn't observe more and Con's made a good point or it's like Dave like you're probably used to just running on the treadmill getting like a sub 630 or whatever he's like I'm doing it in real life And I thought I saw a little moment click in Dave's eyes where he's like shit

That might be a good point, but I still think Dave will have him beat regardless because he's doing that peloton every day But if I were to clock in my predictions, it's gonna be a lot closer than Dave thinks because of that I just want fireworks Yeah, they're both Ridiculously competitive people and they don't like each other right like genuinely don't say again. How long is the race? One mile right? Yeah, well, That's one mile. So that's actually That's long enough where you just can't you can't empty the head. It is right. You got to be you have cardio every day Yeah, it'll probably become a parent right away. Who's gonna I think it'll be about halfway through. Yeah. Yeah

One of them will go way too hard out the gate day I talked Dave would do that when this first guy brought up cons was talking about how he's been in several Marathons and white socks Dave was researching and he's like I don't see any on his like Instagram You know which isn't that weird, but still if you're gonna be kind of open about it You would think yeah a couple posts of I just finished at least one of the marathons right so it should be interesting Oh, so is it was he lying about the Hansa stolen Valor marathon? Couple posts of I just finished at least one of the marathons right so it should be interesting Hansa stolen valor marathon I don't think he was lying there just having to be no proof. I don't know what? Huh, I'm sure like if you asked him right now. He'll text you a picture

From him at a marathon, but according Dave there was just nothing on social about it every marathon runner posts a million right? Pretty easy to find Yeah, just ask him It's been known to cheat before oh Cod doesn't the two most preeminent cheaters cons you're on the yak you're live on the yak How many marathons have you run? And where's what what cities? I did two unofficially in Austin because I took a buddy's dib. And then I did two in New York City and then I did one while I was in Iraq.

So are they documented? Yeah. Have you posted about them? Did you post about them? I mean maybe I've tweeted about it over Did you post about them? Brandon Walker's accusing you of having stolen valor for marathons Okay, yeah, we'd like proof. Send me proof. Okay. Alright.

You said me and not Brandon because it was actually you that won. Yeah, actually I kind of, it was me who was saying the stolen dollar thing. I just said it was Brandon. But it was me. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I believe you. Listen, I believe you. Alright, okay, we're excited for the race on Thursday. Me too. Alright. Alright, see ya. Listen, I believe you. All right, OK, we're excited for the race on Thursday.

Me too. All right. All right, see you. How do you do it, man? How do you have a conversation where you tell somebody you believe them while also accusing them of stolen valor in the same breath? Yeah, no, it's a good way to do it.

You play out of Zach's book. Yeah. Wait, they're running it at a park here? Or they're? Yeah, a track. I think we're in front of a track. I mean, yeah, I totally do. Cons, you're just the 1% of people who have ran a marathon five times and not one of them is making a feed post on Instagram

Yeah They yeah, what's our savers like? Do you think we could use the high school track by here? And I was like Pretty sure they're still in school and he's like wait. Are they still in schools like yeah They're very in school It's a lot of school Shitload of school left until like June have y'all uh, I have two mincy things Oh I have two mincy things. Okay. Okay. Have y'all seen this picture?

They just posted on Twitter. You might have done it during the act So maybe you haven't seen it, but he posted a Twitter a a picture today with him with the Tik Tok girls. Okay. It's just mincy space really delights me. All right. They extorted me by the way. That's I think that's how they got lunch. I came down and Annika was like, what are you getting us for lunch? I was like, what? She's like, well, you won that bet. I was like, oh, well I could order lunch for everyone, but it's like 11 o'clock. I don't know where we'd get lunch for everyone. And they're like, oh, okay. I was like, all everyone, but it's like 11 o'clock I don't know where would get lunch for everyone and they're like, okay I was like, all right fun you guys just whatever you want for lunch

How did mince get in that he was sitting there and I was like mincy. Do you want a fucking order too? He's like, yeah. Yeah, and then I and then I was like, all right only only Caveat here is you guys have to eat lunch together. They did. Okay, there's a picture from it and I just It's on mincy's Twitter Lucas if you're struggling Okay, there's a picture from it, and I just it's on mincy's Twitter Lucas if you're struggling He is I just I looked at it. I saw mince's face, and I'm like this is this is how I always remember him And we'll see this and I'll describe it Shady rays get ready for your next adventure with shades that are built to last our friends at Shady Rays have you covered with premium polarized?

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Try for yourself. The shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people. So it's so there's the two TikTok girls on the left and then one on the right. And then, oh, yeah. I just love Macy's face in this. So is he getting I have a question in this. I hope. I don't think this is offensive. Is he getting more cross-eyed? Ah, he did like come up to me and ask me something, and I was like, I don't remember ever being like, where am I supposed to look? I don't know if he's getting more cross-eyed. I think that eye is getting more of an attitude.

Got it. No, Lucas, we don't have to go all out. Yeah. Look at him. He's a good hang. Is that something that escalates with time? I don't know. I think he fell on a whale.

Maybe he's just tired. I know that was the thing with tired. Like, if you're tired, I think it gets worse. Yeah, lazy eye gets lazier. Sleepy. He had said on a Barclay after Darkstream once that he had eye surgery when he was like three years old. But he never told us why he really

needed it in the first place, huh? I think it was like an eye surgery. Maybe went a little south. Yeah Like little kids with glasses is always cute That you can do like if you if you're like, hey, here's my three-year-old named George, but he has glass George that place What does it what does a kid's glasses become nerdy? Is it like 12? I Think it's whenever they stop wearing like the cute little colored and they get the wire When does a kid's glasses become nerdy? Is it like 12? I think it's whenever they stop wearing like the cute little colored ones. And they get the wire. Yeah Yeah, so you have glasses at 10, Shay? The minkises. Is that when you first got glasses, Shay? Yeah. Have you ever thought about doing LASIK?

I could get them, but I would need reading glasses with an ear What? Per my optometrist. Them. He said a surgery, and you called it them. Do you know what LASIK is? Yeah, yeah. You can either do laser, you can do the needle, or the chemical. Why would you need reading glasses? But you love getting your body worked on with lasers

and chemicals and whatnot. I'm pretty sure that's not true, too. I'm pretty sure LASIK gives you perfect vision. Yeah. Because of my age, I would need reading glasses at 40. I don't think that's true. That's what my aunt just told me. Plus, also, I like glasses.

Plus, they're safe. But, like, my dad got LASIK at, like, 60, and he doesn't use glasses. Yeah, maybe if your vision is still getting worse. I think I have, like, a very strong, like, I have thick glasses. Mine is 5.25 in each eye. So. Oh, I'm a plus five. Sweet, so how blind are you yeah pretty?

That's pretty blind. I can't like I Can only see shapes right now shapes Like a dog see I can't see any facial details about you guys mine's minus five and a half We didn't ask you place chaise your aids. Yeah, chaise your aids. Oh, yeah, Chay blind charades So you wait what was that Brandon guessing che rates Che raids che how many fingers am I holding up? It's two hands I can't I can't see I can't see details like that All right, Stephen first give us the Taylor Swift, and then we're gonna change you have what?

14 which we wait for Brandon Yeah, I'll do one right oh, oh, that's the other one mincy's bowl from Chipotle is chicken That's it. Oh, she should have said chicken picked only chicken Yeah, but I get it. It's just chicken Simple man. Okay. Row. The Act is sponsored by Row. Row Sparks are a two-in-one prescription treatment for stronger harder erections. They hit the bloodstream faster because they dissolve under the

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get $15 off Sparks on a recurring plan. Connect with the provider at ro.co slash yak to find to find out if prescription rose sparks are right for you. That's row are a ro dot co ro dot co Slash yak for 15% off your first order I I don't think I've ever really played a true round of charades What do you mean? I think it's more of a TV game, isn't it? They just do it on TV.

Do people actually play it? Yeah, like, I don't think I've ever sat down and played charades. I think we all went to, remember that? It was like a disc you passed around. Salad bowl. But not salad bowl, but it was like this disc where beep, beep, beep, beep.

We used to play it. You're talking about Bop It. No. No. You guys twisted it? Bop It's not charades. Oh, you're, Bop It? No, it was a disc. Oh, you're talking about Simon Says. No.

We used to play it on the Yak. We went through a phase with it. Oh. Does that even remember? I think I actually know what it is. Catchphrase? Catchphrase. We did that on the Yak?

I'm almost certain. I don't remember. Is that just when you were fantasizing about being on the Yak? Probably. Wait, what was the disc that was like yellow, green, blue? That's Bop It. That's not the memory one.

Simon Says. That's Simon Says the memory one. Simon Says. That's Simon Says. Simon Says. I've never played that with a device. That's an old school toy. Yeah. Catchphrase, I feel like everybody got sucked into that for a while.

And that was charades, right? I played cranium. That's guess the person or thing, right? But I thought you had to like act it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe. Catchphrase got aged out by that phone game where you hold it up to your forehead the bit

Yeah, same thing. Okay, so by the way Connor I have proof has run at least I've marathon that we know of he's tweeted about it several times He's even have the results. So Brandon No, okay, you can't I just alluded to the fact that he's even congratulated Dave for finishing his own marathon in 2007. He's been active on the marathon. So Dave, so really what the problem was we trusted White Sox Dave. Yeah I'm just gonna say that. He's misunderstood because he lies a lot.

Yeah. He's misunderstood. We'll get to the bottom of it. I have a couple of ideas. I think I just told you why he's misunderstood. He lies a lot. Yeah. I think he's... What did he do to you? I think White Sox Dave has his own language that most of us can't always interpret.

Danny is fluent, I feel like. Yeah, but like... Oh, look at that. There is fluent, I feel like. Yeah, but like. Oh, look at that. There he goes. I know it's not, but it looks Photoshopped. It does. No, that's Photoshopped.

That's Photoshopped. That's not even close. That's Photoshopped. Quick, put me in this picture. He's on the Rumble. I feel like JFK's going to get shot in that picture. That is like a gutty image, I ever see who's he talking to in that tweet

Somebody changed their mind I guess I'm sorry. That's the most photoshopped picture that's ever been photoshopped. Yeah All right, she got us the songs Yes, this is the Taylor Swift songs So I got 14 of them Yes. This is the Taylor Swift songs with food in the title. Yeah. So I got 14 of them. I love that. Cold as you, that's a song. Cold as you Nagi.

Okay. Okay. Hot start. Yeah, that's good. Look what you made me do. Look what you made me do, spaghetti. What? What? What? made me do spaghetti. What? Wait, wait, wait, what?

What does that mean? One for one, we are no longer one for one. What does do spaghetti? That's better. Look what you made me do spaghetti. Red. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What does that last one mean?

He just added the word spaghetti. Look what you made me do spaghetti. You ate a whole thing of spaghetti. You ate it all. You didn't mean to. You didn't want to eat that much. Wait, look what you made me do Are you talking to the spaghetti are you like hey spaghetti look what you made me do I?

Yeah, I didn't want to eat this much Was thinking about mook when I wrote you could replace any food with number two oh These are in no particular order, okay? Look what you made me do Spaghetti what order could they? Best or worst red we just want red velvet that's sure sure sweeter than fiction sweeter than hot honey chicken Nothing that's pretty sweet. This is working for me. All right. I had honey chicken. Yeah, okay Say the original first and we'll try to guess yeah, oh yeah, I like that. Oh, okay, I Look what you made me do spaghetti still has me fucked up like the

Are you talking to the bowl of spaghetti? Yes? Yes? How's it go you finish it and you're like, look what you made me do, spaghetti, I ate you. Imagine you're pointing at an empty plate, look what you made me do, spaghetti. But you're talking to a void of spaghetti. Yeah, you'd basically be talking to the bowl. Oh yeah, of course. You went to a spaghetti factory,

you were gonna get a big thing of spaghetti, and you were gonna eat half of it and take it home, but you just couldn't do that. Okay, so Che, tomorrow, I need you to have, like, a weird-out look, which maybe you do with spaghetti or anything. All the lyrics. All the lyrics.

And it's... All the lyrics. Tomorrow, that's tight. I'm doing... What do you mean? You can't rush a creative process, Dan. I'm doing Barstle After Dark tonight, so I'm gonna be here potentially all night.

Okay, but you have hours before that. Have you been seeing those Benny Blanco clips? It happens overnight. I'm confident you can do this All right, all right keep going what you made me do this beginning what you made me Oh, I like what KB said say the real song title. We'll try to think what you're gonna Alright the net the next couple are in earnest wild well say say don't go is the name of the title okay? Say don't go say don't go Gert say don't go bananas say don't go Cheetos

Are we close no say don't go Gert say don't go bananas. They don't go Cheetos Are we close? No say don't go was all right Anything say don't go Do we think he's trying to make a wordplay nuts out of for food in replace ago? It could be longer say don't go to the drive-in and get tater tots yeah beef Wellington. Don't go What you got say don't go out to eat see I knew it was a phrase Okay Next song I'm only me stop you there that wasn't really putting a food That was putting a

Verb we're going out on an act. Yeah go out to eat. I mean that's gonna you're going out to eat a type of food I Think why don't you just add a food at the end of out to eat? This is my creative process. I apologize. I'm only me when I'm with you. I'm only me when I'm with you. I think this could be spaghetti. This might be unagi.

It could be a double spaghetti. I'm only me when I'm with you. I'm only me when I'm with you at the restaurant. I'm only meat when I'm with you. I was gonna say that. I'm only meat. I'm with you. Ice cream. You're on the right track. Who is? He is? He is. Alright. And this is actually for you essentially. I'm only me when I'm with frozen yogurt. for you essentially. I'm only me when I'm with frozen yogurt. Blizzards.

No. Oh wait, I'm only me when I'm at DQ, something like that? I'm only me when I'm with coffee. Oh! How was he on the right track? Jay, I think the idea is to take an existing word in the title. Ice cream was so close. Welcome to New York. Cheesecake. I turned into a poop height. So close.

Welcome to New York. Cheesecake. Pizza. Welcome to New York style pizza. Cheesecake. Welcome to New York cheesecake. Okay. How did, okay.

Half of my heart. Half of my heart. Is blocked from the Chick-fil-A. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Oh, half and half of my heart. Half of my artichoke half of my artichoke What was it half of my artichoke See like you could have just done half of my art itch. Oh sometimes He's adding us very specific food sometimes. It's like the idea of food. Yeah We might have to do this with death by a thousand cuts death by a thousand death by chocolate by a thousand death by a thousand coconuts or nuts cuts of

Cold cuts dip by a thousand cold cuts. Dead by a thousand cold cuts. Death by a thousand cold cuts. One of your best. Mary song. Mary song? What are you doing with Mary song? Bloody Mary song. Bloody Mary song.

Okay. Alright, Kyle and Kate seem to have fallen in on this thing. They're way too in on Che. You belong with me. You belong with meat. Meatloaf. You belong with me. Spaghetti. Spaghetti.

Spaghetti. I think these all could be spaghetti. Oh, you're saying you belong with meatball. Ah. I love song to spaghetti. Two is better than one. Two cookies. Two pizzas.

Two scoops. Bingo. God damn it, Kate. Two scoops is better than one. Kate, you are Che, this is bad. I know sweet escape Swedish fish escape Sour sweet and sour escape Swedish meatballs escape sweet tea escape sweet tart escape sweet pretty close

So is that a good sweet treat escape sweet treat escape last kiss? last Hershey kiss That was all my favorite are cold is you Nagi and look what you made me do What you made me do spaghetti I've never heard the song it's a ooh look what you made me do Like your soggy noodles. Yes. But don't try to use a word play. Let him just.

Like your marinara. Yeah, you can do this, Che. All right. Don't like your. But remember, you're addressing spaghetti. You're speaking to spaghetti. Yeah. I know.

You don't have to tell me mine's version. I know. Look what you made you do, spaghetti. Look what you made spaghetti look what you just add spaghetti to every at the end. I don't like your sauce. I don't like your meatballs Alright, well, I want it for tomorrow. You got this. Okay, it will not take that long. Okay, but I'm not I'm not making like a video like I'm just coming up with the lyrics of the song, correct? I hate a video video come when hate a video hate a video The the video part is like the copyright like I don't know what we can play well. You could just do an acapella Yes that that I can do for tomorrow for sure a video of it

That might be a little bit tougher with the sound and all that do like acoustic like how tiny desk does it? I've never heard this one before I what no But you could record it with you could you could write it. Yeah, you could record it you get in front of the green screen We'll have quigs or someone like spaghetti just falling from the sky I think this good. I mean you have well you have tonight. The question is the background music, right? Acapella. Okay. He doesn't know the rhythm. I almost like the idea of him not knowing the rhythm.

Yeah, listen to the song a couple times. I've never heard the song before. Right, so then you write all the lyrics, then you record the audio, and then you can lip- I think the phrase is get in the lab. And then you lip syncing in front of a green screen, I want tomorrow to be the world premiere of look what you made me do spaghetti Okay, I I will give I will make everyone drop

Whatever they're working on to make sure that this happens because it actually is perfect because you're not going home tonight Correct right so you have like four hours after the show fair. Oh my god. We're gonna need cover art Look what you made maybe do spaghetti. Fucking bang. Should we work the big pencil into it? No, no, the big pencil's done. Joke. Yeah, twirl the spaghetti with the pencil.

We don't fucking joke about the big pencil. All right, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Should we play charades? Oh, I forgot, this is how that started? Yeah, he can't see. So how do you play charades? Is it teams? Wait, this isn't, I thought we were just doing an activity

in front of him and he can't see it, so he has to guess what it is? Yeah. Based on the... We get a prompt, he's sitting here, and he has to guess what we're acting out. Cause he can't see. We should do a trial run to see How good or bad? Yeah, I'm gonna do something change. Tell me what I'm doing Should we have money am I going out there cuz I don't know my visions gonna be like come to the next seat

Come to come to the next seat. Do you want to have him try like reading an ad to gauge how bad it is? Cuz that is bad Minus five and a half Here he is hit hit single look what you made me do spaghetti oh oh he's blind all right Brandon all right yeah I can barely see you no no I mean I can see you have a some type of golf club. Golf club. Swing a baseball bat. I can see that I can't see like details of your face. Yeah, like I can't see Kate, I can see what am I doing right now?

biting something. Okay, so he's actually not that I can see shapes. So maybe I can go back in there or maybe one of you like Stand out maybe like by the somewhere in the parcel thing Can you see any of the logos on the purple hats? No, okay If I pointed to a state if I stood by there, could you could you tell me what state it is? If I pointed to a state, if I stood by there, could you tell me what state it is? Yeah, that's more of a shape though. Yeah, that's a bit, that's fuzzy, because like I kind of know where things are.

I gotta fix the tape on New Mexico by the time it's bothering me the whole time. Close your eyes. Okay. Luke, as we look up for, look for a charade prompt, I don't even know what charade... This is the like two words, whatever, right? right I think so again. I've never Okay Danny go do the third one out on the court. Yeah Okay, you can open your eyes

Let me know when I can open my eyes. OK, you can open your eyes. All right, so Danny's on the court. Hold on, let's make sure there's a camera on Danny too. This could take days. You know that, Dan, right? This could, oh yeah. Oh, he's got one. Oh, he's got one.

Good job, Lucas. All right, yeah. I can't see. I can't read Danny's shirt at all. You don't need to read Danny's shirt. You just need to tell me what he's doing right now. Bend over. He's kind of looking.

Looking, searching. Danny, turn and do it right to Che. Searching. OK. You're on the right track. Yelling. Yelling. Eyeglasses.

I think he just doesn't know what this product oh binoculars there we go all right you're not that bad see yeah I mean a little bit but yeah you can see early you can see yeah it's where you put them up you have good vision right so if you put this is what I can see yeah maybe you should place rates you good Lord holy fuck man holy Dan okay let's play mini golf all one on one with chase glasses. All right. What holds the best for the visual? The barstool? No, no, no, I don't wanna do that one

because that one's. How about the humps over there? Yeah, tell us which one Lucas. Oh, that one right there. The big cock, yeah. All right, the big cock. Yeah, the big cock. Which big cock?

There's a lot of them. I feel like anyone will do. Where are you going? I'm gonna help her shoot the balls and stuff. Which big cock there's a lot of them. I feel like anyone will do All right For those at home those glasses are like remember you ever have operation prom in high school and they make you put on like the drunk Oh, yeah, this is what it's like That's Stephen Chase prescription. We got big cat verse Brandon wearing the chae goggles Okay, here we go Brandon is up first it looks like Not to help retrieve the balls and then I just realized they're playing the full Also can't see anything so I can't really do a job

Brandon's a shot. Brandon's first shot. Oh! Good shot! What if this was the key to being really good at mini golf? What if they unlocked something? Right. Let's go. Oh wow! He's sinking in too? Better with the glasses, yeah! Wow. Oh Wow, he's thinking it too better with the glasses. Yeah Wow They're good glasses, thank you look like they're transitions very astute There's not a context guys Steve. Oh my Our context once more The cat looks a little serial killer ish in these I'll say that doing it the real inspiration for those glasses were it's that uh the Denzel meme

Really you just showed your your eye doctor I want these. The same way you do like a haircut. He's a Denzel. All right, big cat on his third nails it. Ah, that's not so bad. Brandon won the Che glasses championship. So I won Che's glasses? You won Che's glasses.

Congrats Brandon. You won Che's glasses championship. Oh man, I'm excited for mini golf. I'm excited for mini golf. Brandon one. Everybody gonna start trickling in today. All the all the mini golfers are gonna start trickling in. It's a pretty big prize. Huh? Yeah. 60 grand. Sheesh. I think it is 60 grand, but it's teams of 12 five grand I believe so Wow 24 people I didn't get invited where have I heard that? Oh, it's oh, it's teams my fucking eyes

Yeah, I'm a little fucked up. Yeah, I'm a little fucked up from the I think we did too Well on that golf hole didn't really put together put across how fucked up glasses are I'm a little dizzy Yeah, Kyle, we're against each other Now I have a chance like to piss off everyone What do you mean like your own teammates and stinking it up? I don't think you're bad you qualified Kate we were all horrible. We were all pretty bad The qualifying course was nasty real nasty yeah, it was tough slick I thought I had a bad score, so I just blew it the last hole I just like and it turns out I was doing okay

What'd you do that was a noise you did on last home? Yeah, you close to qualifying you it was the what who's in the box that got you not in it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Who's in the box? Kate. Because I love mini golf. I don't want to tell you how to do your job.

I really don't. And maybe it'd be frowned upon, but you do need to scare somebody during mini golf. She tried to scare me today. I was crouched. I was in his office, crouched for like five minutes. Inside, it looked like a bag you'd put a suit in. I was she tried I was in his office roused for like five minutes inside It looked like a suit a bag you put a suit in I was like inside that sitting on your junk

waiting Because he had just gone out for the Chipotle thing and so I snuck in there I was like, and then time kept going and going and going and I was like fuck. Well, she's got me already I've got you twice. Yeah, I've gotten a couple people I got beef. I got you. I got you have until May Crunch time's coming. I got to really start You guys start scaring some people. Yeah, are you worried anyone might have the, like, instinctual reaction just, like, punch you? Camera-wise, that'd be great. For views-wise, it'd be worth it. But yeah, no, I wanna, cause Dante, I got Dante, nobody's reaction has been like, except for you, you screamed like a girl a little bit. Yeah. I'm easily scared. Yeah. But I wanna, like, really get it.

Danny, you make me flinch twice a day yeah I'm stacking up my two for flinching on you beef I mean no spoilers beef was scared he was he was so scared that he almost like didn't have a reaction yeah I froze him instead of a big reaction and Dante did the same you like froze like a goat oh my god oh the fainting goat yeah I got Kate don't do that we should get a fainting goat for the office we're like froze like a goat. Oh my god. Oh, the fainting goat. Yeah, I love that. Oh my god, Kate, don't do that. We should get a fainting goat for the office. We're always talking about a cat or a dog.

Dakota. I wanna do goat yoga. Goat yoga? I've done it, it was tremendous. It was? I did it in Alaska. They're so cute. You're just doing yoga with a goat?

Walk me through goat yoga? Yeah, they just, they put you in a pen with a bunch like little baby goats and It's not really yoga. It's just a chance to have a goat on top of you I love I love goats they put it on your back all over you Hmm the insect museum here is having a possum yoga, and I'd like to go to that now possums are not Friendly animals that's where you're wrong. Oh, I'm very right. I've got a history with possums This place has a friendly possum like swing by with your kids. We'll bring the opossum out I've gone round and round with possums before so is it a silent? Oh, or you just said the oh

I just say possum it is opossum though right it's possum. They're Irish spelled like that. It's possum. That was good Kate By the way, Donnie just texted me something that I'm excited for. Sales asked him if the Yak would help organize a competition in August for balding stoolies with the winner getting a free flight to Turkey. Yes. Yes. Like who's the most bald competition?

I think it's got to be a bald slash ugly. Oh, wanton Don. Don't you think so? Like multiple. I want like I want it to be like I'm gonna puke in my mouth They're gonna physically be here, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want like I want to trot him out ugly So your priority ugly and bald. Oh, it's got to be ugly and bald. Okay, it's got to be like like The surgery has to like change their life

What if we did art on top of their heads using the patches of hair? They have as part of the art? That would work. Like a canvas. Do you not like, you just don't think ugly should be part of it? No, I think it's whoever has the most potential to be saved by the surgery. Like a fat ugly bald man's gonna get my vote. Right.

But would it even help at that point if he's that ugly? True. But there are some guys that bald looks looks good on some the right head shape yeah Head shape is who would get my vote is the guys that have like the pug heads that have all the little wrinkles Yeah, the wrinkles need to cover that up or like the pointed at the top cylindrical the the divots you know guys get like how it cottage cheese What if we did it it's like

Dating show That they think they're gonna get a date with Hannah Montoya and then it's like just kidding There's so out of her only dates guys with her. She's so out of your league, you're just going to Turkey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Just these bald dudes coming in, just trying to woo her. And then we're like, ha. Yeah, that wouldn't be, like, too mean. Yeah. No. No. Oh. All right, so here are the teams.

Jeff has Whitney, mush cons KB beef Dave Ken Jack John Rich wanton and Annika and Team Kirk is rigs Francis PFT Gruden myself big T Trent Vibs Casey White Sox Dave Mikkel. I actually think they're pretty even Team Kirk's better. Yeah, team Kirk is stacked. Where's where is team Kirk sex? I've heard a couple people say that. Well, wait a minute, because I just realized eggs Francis. So Jeff and Whitney are both really good. Yes. Frank Frank. He's really good. Mush was really good last year.

Which was good. Wasn't he? He's right in the mix. Bees got to be good. Oh, beef's gotta be, okay. I think Trent was the best pick though. Seventh round Trent. That's crazy value. Yeah, you're right. I don't think it's stacked in one way or the other. I'm not, I am good in the first round, and then I fall apart.

It's all like how you do under pressure after a certain amount of holes. And I will do under pressure. Yeah, my heart rate's too crazy. I basically, I think every single, I think we've done this three times, and every time we've done it, the first round, I'm in like the top five,

and then I just slowly inch my way back. Where, are we, we're not, obviously not doing it live. We are we are oh we are doing a lot. Yeah. Oh, we're doing life Oh, yeah, oh, I didn't do we do it live last time. Yeah Last year was live was it yeah We're not in it last year either. I was in it. It wasn't live last year. Yes. It was it 100% was live What was Marty had the last hole to get prize money and then missed the... We've actually done it live every year except the first year. Okay.

I didn't realize that. Because we did it live from the Super Bowl, too. Arizona was the one that wasn't live. Arizona was live. Arizona was live. Long Island wasn't live. Long Island was not. That was the one that everyone was like, it came out like eight months later.

Yeah. It was like, what the fuck? So are we doing it, what days are we doing it? Tomorrow after the act and Thursday after the okay. So it's gonna be Ryder Cup style. So it's I think the bet the best part of this whole thing is gonna be the the matchups. So it's gonna be like Jeff and Kirk get out here and whatever say Jeff goes first. He's like all, Whitney and Frankie are a team. Can I say teams again? Kirk puts up a team next to him.

And so that's, so it's six matches, six matches in the first round tomorrow, then we play a night, six matches, each match is worth a point. And then on Thursday, it's solos. Which team has more people that hate Mark titus hmm i would say team jack yeah i would agree science point that way well no white socks staves on team kirk i i wanted so bad i was trying to get i was trying to pin that on white socks dave yesterday and he was willing he said i've never talked to hunter dickinson before but i'm willing to take it he just openly hates titus have those guys said anything since then were they like hand up that was weird by us no nothing

I think they don't like each other Who is they? White Sox, Dave and Titus Oh, I'm talking about I think Titus is indifferent to White Sox, Dave. White Sox, Dave does seem to hate Titus Yeah, which I love. Yeah, like it's just a very funny rivalry because they do not mix ever Which I love. Like, it's just a very funny rivalry because they do not mix ever. Yeah, I like that too.

I've never seen them as a combo. It's healthy. We need to put them to it as a combo. And Che came out and said that he liked Titus yesterday. Che, good man. Huge. That probably made Titus more mad than the 100-dickon. Che, do you...

This is a real question. Is there anybody in content you don't like? You don't have to say their name. But after you tell me that yes There was some behind-the-scenes guy that Che hates so much Wait, really? Yeah, he has a list of options. He doesn't work here anymore. So who is it?

There's a finance guy. Fucking hated him. Matt Resnick, piece of shit. He hated him. Matt Resnick? I liked Matt Resnick. Speak on it, Zah! Massapiqua?

Zah hits him too. Let's speak on it, it didn't hit very hard. What were you? I don't think there are any content people I actively... Were you Ad Ops before? I was Ad Ops. Gotcha. And then just caught me at the time where I was like, yeah, whatever.

And that's how Chet was born. Oh, he asked you to be full time content? No, he was like, hey, can I produce the Yak? And I said, yeah, whatever. Oh, wow. And then the rest is history. I think there's seven content people I don't like. Danny, are you content?

No. Eight. Seven. Seven. You're not content? The fuck are you doing here? Yeah. Get out of here. Your content, it's aint. I'm on a social contract, but third year.

It's contract year. This is a contract year for you? Yeah. Oh, you got to start doing 11. Yeah. 11, 14, 25. Wow. You got to start putting up shots.

11, 14, 25. We got to get a date going, yeah. Yeah, third year of a three year one. There we go. I'm 1101. Nobody gives up. Oh, I need that. I need that on a big board. Yeah. So 1102 is going to be a great day. 1101 to be a great day. Imagine just walking him out the door. Yeah, true. Taking his keys. Yeah. Lucas, you think you're going to get re-signed?

I hope so. Do you think you're trying to suck me off in that challenge? Is it going to come up? I think that helped. OK. But you didn't actually do it. No.

So Marshall After Dark tonight is the hole in ones of all the holes here? Correct. How long do you think this is going to take, Lucas? Last year. Jerry did it quick last year. Yeah it took three three and a half hours but we need more hole in ones. I think there's tougher holes this year. Yeah I think there's gonna be like three four holes that. They said that last time and then it took three and a half hours. But these are these harder than last year's? This one has a moving hole. Oh. It has a hole with moving parts.

Wait, so Lucas, how's the competition going? Because it's like they're going 2 v 2? Yes, so there will be there's two teams of two. Tate and Hank, Che and Max. And you basically need two hole-in-ones on your team. You both need a hole-in-one on the hole to move to the next one. If you lose, you do a pink Whitney shot.

So you incentive to move. But if Che and Max get a hole-in-one, then you go to the next hole? Correct. They lose that hole? Yeah, the least amount of hole-in-ones you can get in a hole is two, and the most is three to move on to the next one.

Wait, what do you mean three? Like, we're gonna see two, at least two hole-in-ones on every hole got it Got it, and how are you do it like one person goes the next person goes yeah? Interesting there are some holes though that are You know If it's impossible then you'll never leave You know there is I believe there's a one hour time limit per hole you need to believe in your server single hole Well, we're gonna do a one hour time limit, and if they can't get it in an hour

They're gonna go to the next hole, but they're gonna come back to the hole So they're still gonna get a hole in one in every hole But we're not gonna if we're like on hole three and it's impossible We don't want to spend four hours of it on the same hole so we'll go back to this is the one I wanted you to provide to me you're saying one is there are some that are impossible che in my brief so I did I played yesterday I did like maybe like six the holes were unavailable because of whatever maintenance so I played 12 of them and most of them are doable but there are are, like, two holes that I played

that I don't see how it's possible. Lucas, I feel like you should make it less than an hour. If you're going to come back to it no matter what. Yeah, I mean, that's not, like, an official rule, so we can just do that. Yeah, for the viewer, like, if you're stuck on the same hole for an hour, that's going to suck. That's not a Barstool After Dark official rule.

So it could be 30 minutes. Yeah, so we could do that. I would maybe bump that down to 30 minutes. At least. Perhaps. Well, I'll run out the ladder. You are the ladder. I am the ladder.

I agree. I am the ladder. What time are you guys starting? 7. You've been starting these earlier and earlier. Actually, we just had a conversation about it. We did. Seven o'clock isn't after dark.

We're going to announce it now. They're going to start, we're going to start doing Barstool after dark starting at 6 p.m. Central. Well, that's just not after dark at all. But Brandon, can I ask you a question? How many times do we go under an hour and a half? Fair. Answer the question.

Never. Exactly. So it will always be after dark. That's what we thought I said. So Barstool after dark for the most part. Barstool starting in the late afternoon, ending after dark. Barstool at sunset. Six o'clock is not the late afternoon, that's the evening.

Six o'clock is the evening, yeah. Seven is the night. Late afternoon goes up to this shit. I think I was here that day. But at least we've done it with, we've never done it with Kyle wearing this shirt. Yeah, seven is the night late afternoon goes up But at least we've done it with we've never done it with Kyle wearing this shirt no What you've done to me yeah, did we have that was the day that your phone got doxed I think so Yeah, yeah, because then we had the conversation with the guy on the phone about it. Yeah Do we think it got doxed or he just won his phone number out there for all the way? I promise you I did not want my zoom didn't have it. What was Do we think it got doxored? He just want his phone number out there for all the lights. I promise

you I did not want my zoomed in on it. Luke. How's seven three two what I'll tell you. It is. Has a five in it and a four seven three two four eight four two oh. I'll stop What's the last two Lucas? Double zero and it's not it plus 12. He doesn't even know his number doesn't even know his number

How is the progress coming on Lucas's Challenge or a stream torture yeah was the meeting for that yesterday? No we haven't had the meeting for that I'm letting Tate why are you involved in the meeting? No? I'm not Lucas What how's the dating life going are you getting past second date? I mean yeah, I have whoa Yeah, how far have you gone? More than that have you've gone under the brah Yes, Lucas do you know that's hot I like that do you have a girlfriend Lucas no More than two under the brah, what's the what's the backstory here?

Have you just managed to fuck up on the second date every time or um well? There was a stretch of like You have like three times in a row Where I'd be done after the first no gotten his second day the girl was like yeah, no, I'm good They happen like three times in a row how quickly in the relationship. Do you wear the shorts? Depends on how warm it is out or the type and it shouldn't be your answer how many under the bras have you done? like ever Yeah

Bra stays on 13 13 That's fucking pretty awesome You are hot as fuck you already know Lucas ain't even bothering try to unsnap it. No going right under right under under the bra is a fun stage Yeah And then he's asking where are they I can't find him and he's really trying but there's nothing You're an a cup. Oh, I'm finished very any Under the bras Lucas

No, okay, you okay? I'm not into big fucking bras. I agree. So you're not into big tits? Big bras. But you are into, would you like big tits in small bras? But it's disappointing when you discover it's a lot of, it's all bras. It's more bra. Trust me. I got what you're saying I found out the soft way It's not the image of a gigantic bra Thrown across too much garment. Yeah, well we've advanced to like girls just showing the under boob and bikini That takes some getting used to what do you mean or even in a shirt?

They'll have like the instead of their cleavage. It's like they're under boob showing you know Number one is boob two is side boob three is under boob. We were nipple a swap two and three yeah The under boob is so new like you're still adjusting to it. Where's nipple? Well, that's just boo. That's how it falls under boob Are you saying covered up? Yeah. Yeah under boob with like a Like a short like what do you like under boob or side boob? The under boob is rare. Wait. No, I like no wait. What about cleavage? Cleavage is the middle over boob. Yeah the middle the middle. I think you still get like the middle you like the downtown I like I like right down down the middle. I think you still get that with the under boob though

You like seeing both sides of the street. I like to see I'm right down the middle So you got the drone view of the street? I want to just Side boobs pretty elite guys put my face in the middle of them. Have you ever done it before if you know what I'm saying I Don't get it We figured you wouldn't yeah, I've been in the middle of Brandon's mom's breasts is what I'm trying Some boobs have sides Yeah, I wouldn't I Have the Zahs underwear of bras.

I have one. Oh, God. I know. We gotta hang it over the wall. I have one real bra left that I got at Victoria's Secret in like 2016. What is happening right now? And it's so gross and falling apart.

And like, ladies will know this, there's like this stretchy like thread that starts coming out of them and there's like, not stained underneath, but there's a Chicago bra shop that like, I wanna go there and be like, figure it out. You guys tell me. Go get new bras. Cause and then the other ones I wear, I just wear sports bras from Amazon,

but I have one real bra and it's like literally eight years old and it's like raggedy as fuck. on the days where I'm not wearing it something thick like an Amtrak that I have to cover the nips That's where I throw it on and it's literally the shoulder straps are just shredded But every time I look at Zaz underwear on the wall, I'm like, oh, yeah, you have like it has holes in it It's like completely the underneath here. It's falling apart. Yeah, we gotta get that bra on the wall Let's go back to should I bring it in under boob Each size underwear than your bra. Yeah Most of us have those Adidas titties. Sorry everybody

Adidas last year Adidas was like here's what real tits look like and it's a were a mess I didn't mind the most part. Yeah a little the chart of the day to ruin it spoiler Those are great Adidas titties sounds cooler than you made it seem yeah Yeah, look right down the right down the middle just big two boobs right down the middle thing is they deflate Like I'm right down the middle what used to be a ski slope is right an avalanche right down the middle kind of rocky at the bottom Hey, stop talking about to be some under boob So you write down the metal and the nipples start being honkers and they're not in the middle anymore they're towards the bottom and the nipple parts sinks to the Lower edge of the areola wanna die I want to die

Nice small not me Lucas. My hairs will come out Lucas. Yeah Lucas say something almost like do you know Lucas say something dumb you know nipples It's not just one hole. It's like 10 chase other sheet, and if you squeeze your nipple the milk shoots out What is your most valuable physical possession collectible and? How often do you get your chicken other flowers like a showerhead How often do you get your chicken other flowers? Like a showerhead? Yep, yep. Birthday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, three.

Birthday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day? Yeah, that's a big three. Stuff still comes out of it. Ah! I'm checking the shower, ladies. Get her off this. Save me. Have you ever replaced peanut butter with almond butter?

What? That's the dumbest thing ever. If so so when did this start did a lot of people make that change or something what is the next best nut based butter after peanut guys need to check for lumps too yeah get your mammograms yeah mm-hmm what's the second best salty and sweet combo after chocolate peanut butter goddamn chocolate pretzels my favorite snack. Really? Yeah, that's... We're going to talk about food after Kate's boobs.

We're just doing whatever we're doing. Is a cactus overrated or underrated as part of home decor? I don't really see it getting rated. Underrated. I think it's good. I like a cactus. Who's rating a cactus? You know what kind of cleavage I like that I find very comforting?

A Jersey, an old lady Jersey Shore cleavage. That's like real freckly and kind of creped. You know what I'm talking about? Hey, we don't hang out at the Jersey Shore. And you're like, there's my aunt. It looks like vintage skin. Yeah. They got some riding scarves in there.

That's a lady who's lived. I do like freckled cleavage, now that we're there. That's somebody who's lived there like. You know what cleavage I like? Just big fat titties. Yeah. Good looking titties. Danny?

Yeah, I'd be fine with like a low C cup. A low B cup, I mean. That's great. But I don't know about those sprinkler titties just shooting milk everywhere. And they do. Like cow udders. You know they're calling it cow's milk now

instead of just milk? Really? Why? If you go to a coffee shop, the barista will be like, do you want cow's milk? But does that mean it's just straight from the cow? It's unpasteurized on all of that? It's just from cow to you?

No, it just means it's not like an almond milk, soy milk. Not really. We're straight a little bit. We're talking about cow's milk. I really. We strayed a little bit. We're talking about cow's milk. I think that makes milk sound a little bit gross. We call it cow's milk. I don't like to think about things coming from animals. It's actually, or not raw milk and it's like bad for you.

People are like, oh, I gotta do it. I've known people down back on the farms that drink cow's milk, raw cow's milk. And they don't do anything to it. Is that like very bad for you? Not if you're used to it. I think there's probably some. It could fuck you up.

Yeah, it probably could. Brandon, did you see the guy who lost 120 pounds only eating Chick-fil-A? I did. Nick told me about him yesterday. I didn't see him, actually. Yeah, but isn't that like the McDonald's guy, and it turns out he was just an alcoholic?

McDonald's, they did it with Taco Bell. They did it with Subway. Yeah. I think it's just about how much, how it with Taco Bell. They did it with Subway. Yeah. I think it's just how much, how hard you go in the gym. Jared's still alive. Yeah, I think he's rotting away somewhere. Is he ever going to get out of jail? Was he just a pedophile or was he a boy pedophile?

I think he was. Oh, he was. I think he was. I don't know. Was one worse than the other? No, what was his? Good question. I don't remember.

You do never hear that. One half. If it's like a boy pedophile, it's like, oh, what was his? Good question. I don't remember. You do never hear that though. One half. If it's like a boy put a five, it's like, oh, and he's gay? Yeah. Well, it's the Kevin Spacey. Remember Kevin Spacey when he was like under siege with all this stuff?

He's like, I just want to tell everyone I'm gay. He wasn't in under siege. Shit, what was he under? He wasn't, he was Kaiser Soze. That's true. What was, was Jared from subway? I believe yeah, he was into small boys strong children strong children boy pedophile Yeah, Fogle told her

Dude Thailand, so he was what if he was lying to try to sound cool prostitution he's just dying in 16 years old in Thailand. Dude, Thailand. What if he was lying to try to sound cool? Didn't do that. Cost his whole life. But he got the lie across. Yeah. Is he in jail forever? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how that works. Is Sandusky alive?

Oh, I don't think he's died. Alive, right? Yeah. I think he's died. Yeah, I don't think he's died alive, right? Yeah I think he's also rotting away His original sentence was like 400 years Which is 81 years old? 81 years old How long is he in jail for 188 months 15 and a half here. Oh shit. He's gonna be out of this is 10 years he could be out soon is he gonna you think he's gotten like goosebumps or

just or laughed until he cried in prison prison probably not is he gonna he's gonna be out is he gonna are we to get like Jared Fogle on a podcast? Yeah, what's Jared and Jerry? Wake up, Mincy. Mincy would book him. And I would. I'd watch that. I don't want to see a Jared Fogle podcast.

With Ben Mintz? Because Ben Mintz, you could just tell him Jared did anything. Did he get fat again? No, he's running a marathon in October. Well, oh Yeah Yeah, he is running the Chicago Marathon mincy. That was my second. That was my second thing We the dozen is tonight and I was against Mitch yesterday. He showed up and he he said I am I'm shaking right now That's what's what's, he said I just did something

I never thought I would do ever. And I said what happened to you? And he said I signed up for the marathon in October. He pressed a button. Yeah, that's, and why would he think he would never do that? Doesn't he run like all the time? Yeah, so he's I think he literally ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago for Moot Can't Sleep. Let me be fair to him. He's running it for charity for PAWS. PAWS. Yeah. I like that. Doing it for a good reason. Can you do it for your own profit? I don't know. I

would like to try that. Yeah. Why isn't anyone doing that? What do you run the marathon for? Me? Yeah, me, just send me money. I'm gonna run that long. Mincy will probably find a way to do that. Do people ever fail? I feel like that's a really hard feat. I would think so. Can't you just keep walking?

Yeah. People get chafed, their nipples bleed. I had a buddy fail, marathon. He trained for a while and then was just really sick and barfed and I think he maybe broke a rib or something. just like really sick and like barfed and I think he like maybe broke a rib or something like him Oh, he barfed broke a rib by a car failed at his life goal He was like he was very sick and like could not complete It was a big disappointment to him personally I know

Yeah, would he just fall into the crowd after? I don't know I mean I could walk a marathon does that count? I don't know. I mean, I could walk a marathon. Does that count? I don't think I could. You ran a marathon? Yes. You ran a marathon? I did the Washington, DC, marathon.

It's Halloween weekend. Everyone is running. You got to party. How in shape were you when you were a Marine? You were like, just crazy in shape? This was afterwards, but it was for a marine charity. And it's the pressure of all these people donated to me, now I have to fucking finish it.

You couldn't be a bitch. It's shame. I was propelled by shame. Wait, so yeah, KB, you're right. Marathons are just not that impressive anymore. I think they're one of the most impressive things a human can do. In my head, they are extremely impressive.

But so many people have done it. There were people on mine that were barefoot, that were wearing full firefighter gear, that were wearing like costumes, that were like one man like juggled the whole time. People like, and then you feel like a bitch because you're at the back of the line, you're like fuck. But Mincy running a marathon, that's gotta do damage to marathon PR. Yeah, are you still being like, I did a marathon if you walked half of it?

Yeah, I think you are. I still think it's a great marathon. No, you gotta run it. Really? Kyle, you could run a marathon. I'd have to walk 25. I could. I think almost all of you could. I guess I would shame myself into having to run.

Hey, you said almost, right? I think almost all of you could if you had to yeah, you could I mean you could just walk and then do the jogging stance like the whole right But if I like put a gun to your head that was like we're gonna run this full marathon. I think Just pull the trigger at mile four I'd say it's a cloud day. The Yak runs a marathon. Yeah, no. I'm not even... I'll just quit the Yak.

That would be our 12-hour stretch. I'll just quit the Yak. Goodbye, Yak forever. This might be a little longer with Brandon running the marathon. They usually do have like a slow car, where you have to stay ahead of it, otherwise you're out as well. Really?

Because they gotta start reopening the roads and shit like that, so... It was like, as long as you could stay ahead of the slow car. You're you're fine And it's low as a slow car slow. I mean what's if you? driving the slow car has to fucking jay So what's walking a mile or walk? Yeah, like you can walk what three miles in an hour easily yes That's a not a hard pace. Yeah. So eight hours. Yeah. That's nothing. It's not nothing. I don't know that I can. Walking is not hard. Walking 26 miles is. It's the mental. By the end, I was so bored that I was calling people while I jogged I was like can you just talk to me?

Can you just like tell me a fucking story or something because I was just I like I think it'd be a lot easier to run A mile than stand still for eight hours agreed or to what was still a marathon Yeah, Jerry did it oh Yeah Jerry's snake 11 hours sneaky athlete. You know he is He very 11 hours 11 hours. That's a long time. Yeah, I think one of the miles is very backwards though So that's like 40 minutes

Huh So marathons are under on the hot seat now that Mincy has joined. I just said I think it's good for him. I agree. I'm excited to watch him. Do we handle all this? Yeah. What's on the other sheet?

Did you guys hit it? It's one of his worst others of all time. Really? Yeah, it's not a good other. What happened? He got caught up in peanut butter and almond butter and it got... What is this peanut butter and almond butter and it got... What is this peanut butter almond butter? Please, got multiple questions about it.

What's the second best salty sweet combo after chocolate and peanut butter? Have you replaced peanut butter with almond butter? If so, when did this start? What's the next best nut based butter after peanut butter? It's just nut butter. That's barely half the sheet. It's half the sheet though. How much soda do you drink a week? Is cactus overrated or underrated as part of home decor? Do you have a cactus? I don'trated or underrated as part of home decor? Do you have a cactus? I don't, but I feel like I should.

Why? They're nice and they'll vary your low maintenance. Add grain, you don't really have to water too much. Prickly. Why is prickly good? Prickly's not a pro on that. I need more prickly things in this house. Keeps your kid's paws off it.

Yeah, exactly. Because it'll hurt him. Yeah, but your kid isn't going to keep their paws off it and they're gonna prick themselves and they're gonna cry and then it's just for what? Why do we have this cactus? What's the end game? Looks nice. How often do you get your significant other flowers? What is your most valuable physical possession slash collectible? Like something you could sell on eBay? I think that's an interesting question. Well, I'll use that to open this. I'm gonna have to start. We might need to talk to Whatnot.

Why? I need to have an auction to get rid of some of the stuff I've already bought. Well, let's just, yeah, let's do a Yak auction. Yeah. But I want to keep all the money for myself. OK. I would love to get an actual auctioneer, like,

what's the good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Got to have one of those. Wait, what was Nick's manteeking video? I didn't see it. Can I see it? You got a rare piece.

I don't know why he called it manteeking. I feel like that name's already trademarked. By who? Or at least somebody's trying to trademark it. But. Oh, we got some hot guys in here. Why are? The last one's hot.

The last one's hot. Oh, look at the hair on the middle guy. Kind of middle. I was wondering why Lucas is so distracted. What are they doing here? What's their deal? A lot of people here this week to see the To see the course.

Shenanigans. It's just kind of bullshit, but whatever. A cap, just got back from the card shop and I managed to get myself two first edition Jigglypuffs. It was the first card I ever got, so it's very nostalgic to me. But on the flip side of things, I got myself a new Jigglypuff.

She's on the card here with Lopunny and off to beat two Pokemon by a bunch of sickos. I got it for the Jigglypuff. Felt weird buying it. I also got the secret rare version of that where it's in rainbow. Mine's in Chinese and Jigglypuff's just a little bit more angry there. I also was able to get I'm a fan of Jigglypuff, the Pokemon, so I got a few Japanese Jigglypuffs. And in Japan, Jigglypuff's name is Purvin, which means pudding.

And you can see in the background of the McDonald's exclusive Jigglypuff that there's a little bit of a pudding as like an homage to its Japanese name. I was also able to get my hands on some ungraded jigglypuffs. How many jigglypuffs do you have? So I got this one here. Look at that Artie's chilling. I also have now realized- Oh you're gonna miss the- Sleep inducer. Okay. That's the same thing to us fellas, am I right? I also got one with like a Chris Brown move set. I can

burn through the rest of these really quick. Black star promo jigglypuff. I got the delayed ticket from the Yankees on 9-eleven The top jigglypuff Says sing and double slap what now the Yankees ticket You thought we wanted to pause on a jigglypuff round. It was the Chris Brown one. I thought it was funny It is funny actually That's crazy, where'd he get this he got it on an online auction he texted me about it So would it be weird if I bought this I said Yeah, but it's cool and he bought it for hundreds of dollars. I'm also realizing Nick's probably not sick today

He just wanted to be with his jigglypuff He wanted to spend a whole day with his jigglypuff the 9-eleven. So did that game it didn't happen, right? It's the game that was gonna yes, I guess it's the game that never happened that Tuesday yeah Lucas you're getting texts right now yeah why didn't you just say that well I was asking how's your number get out there I don't know are you getting any calls no I'm getting zero call. Okay. I'm sorry. No, it's not your fault. It just happened. It just resurfaced. It just resurfaced. These guys

have been letting you feel it this week, Lucas. Oh, this is kind of yeah. I mean, this is this is the brew. How's playing the other side? Is it actually affecting your well-being? Oh yeah. No, not at all. yeah, okay, so you can turn it off Oh, yeah, as soon as I step it's kind of like severance

But not severance where I step out the doors and I kind of forget it But I feel like people are appreciating That's fine, I know I know oh both sides of the fence power over here Mr.. L don't like you doing Just making sure he's good I'm usually a bleeding heart, but I will say I witnessed a moment between Lucas and Doug on Doug P his pants day Or after where Lucas walked out and Doug was sitting and he said how does it feel? It's not all fail. They said like that. I don't think I said like that. I think that does it feel

I think Doug was whining for an entire day that he Had to piss his pants and I said it's not that bad and he didn't like that And so I let him have it you let Doug have it It was tough to see sounds like you really let him have it. Yeah It's villain arc, do you think any NBA players are taller than they are good at basketball? Yes. No. I if they're in the NBA, no. I think there have been seven foot, four or five guys that have.

So there are. But they're in the NBA. They're twenty eight hundred. But they're tall. Seven they're in the NBA. They're 2800 But they're tall seven footers in the world. Is that it? That's it Which is twenty hundred seven feet or over and I got that stat wrong And how many seven footers are there? 2800 players or people who are more skilled at basketball Than any of these guys. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. There's, there's six, five guys that don't make the league that are more skilled than saints. They're better at basketball. How many seven footers are in the NBA or how many seven footers are in college basketball? So that means like if you're, if you're over seven feet, you're like what?

Ten percent chance. I think it's around 10%. You're a college basketball player. Pretty sick. You're like 10% chance. I think it's around 10%. You're a college basketball player. I feel like those guys, like you know some people are naturally just naturally athletic and talented like that. I feel like those guys aren't and like almost all of them look like they really have to work for it.

Some are, but yeah. I played like with super tall girls and they were like all so clumsy and had to really. Yeah, no, I think it sucks. I think it sucks if you're over seven feet even if you're in the NBA I think it's not fun because your body's just so that's like so hard to work with kind of a disadvantage The world isn't accommodated to seven foot people 36 seven footers in Division one college basketball

Few dozen. Well, we have Kevin Durant seven feet, and he won't admit it And he actually is yeah, he won't admit it. He's always said he's 611 why he hunches I don't know. I think he just doesn't want to be seven feet There's a lot of pressure Yeah, I got back into men's pro ice skating recently why it happened to be on the hotel TV when I was in North Carolina There's like the world championships in Boston those guys rule pro ice skating recently. Why? It happened to be on the hotel TV when I was in North Carolina. There was like the world championships in Boston. Those guys rule.

You had been into men's pro ice skating previously? When I was a kid, I was like super into watching ice skating. Dick Button and all those guys, that whole crew. I feel like ice skating used to be cool. Well, Nancy Kerrigan is in the corner. It seems like it used to be bigger than it is now, yeah. Are you saying like figure skating? I was watching it.

It's like insanely impressive. Yeah. It's like skateboarding is but it's like look down upon I was there doing McTwists and crazy. I was never a big figure skater Some of the stuff they do is cool. They're doing backflips on the ice and stuff I don't also don't like sports that are just judging. Yeah, I hate that. I like the outfits I like the razzle dazzle I like but they're doing cool shit where they could crack their heads open like a melon that's badass impressive it's really scary but I think it's the outfit yeah they're always

wearing glitter yeah that's confidence baby do you think LeBron would be a gold medalist figure skater? I've tried, yeah. Easy. Easy. I don't think so. I don't think he'd get air. What? LeBron James?

He wouldn't get air. That's the one thing he would get. I don't think he'd. Listen, it's hard to get 6'8", 275 off the ground on skates. He wouldn't be able to flip on the ice. He would would get air he won't be able to do what he does now I mean if any part of him was good at it, it'd be the part of getting air getting air I don't I think he could do like a little bunny hop. I don't think he could like jump and spin Yeah, that's a lot of body to spin. He's buddy LeBron James. Yeah

What's like air? What's like the average height of a male figure skater like five four? Yeah like tiny are they? There was a tall French dude who was like six foot something that went and he was really good Bless you. He made a silky outfit look like battle armor. I guess the Winter Olympics are coming up, huh? What was the last year? I don't even remember the last one it was oh I wasn't Russia. I mean anything that happened in the last year right I don't even remember the last one it was oh? That was that no I wasn't Russia was that me anything that happened in the last winter Olympics. Oh I couldn't where was that Diggins? Russia What did that happen sochi that was that might be no it wasn't so sochi sochi was for it was in Tokyo

Tokyo was next one's in Japan isn't it? I think it was in Russia, right? That's sad the big yeah, we're Olympics. Just doesn't pop like should what's the next one at I? Don't fucking know Are we summer or winter next oh we're here. We're coming up. I was coming up just had summer yeah, and The next Olympics summer Olympics. I'll be in I feel like it Oh, yeah, like you're walking I'm gonna walk out of the top Sean white. He was in the last or no, not the last Lucas. She's looked this up Lucas he's too busy shopping for male figure skater. Oh, all right Beijing. I got it. So he did so she was ten years ago

Where's court? Yeah, Italy is the next one point John? John Chang John John Turin Years ago, where's court yeah, oh italy is the next one point chong or teen young shang chan chan turin We even had one in america and forever right there lake was in 2002 I think young chong had like member the tandem toilets What did diggans happen what is big who remembers what's random toilets? What's a tandem toilet? I don't remember the tandem toilets. I don't know who Diggins is. Somebody got stuck in the tandem toilet for hours.

Y'all are not in sports. It's like the- Who the fuck is Diggins? It's a race, and they're going across, and at the end, Diggins, the announcers are screaming, Diggins, and this American underdog comes out of nowhere and wins a gold medal. What's it, Diggins?

Cross-country skiing? Was it Liggins? Okay. And you look up toilets instead of The only one I remember is that guy in the in the race skating I what is the speed skating who did that move where he went super fast to start and then got in the back of the Pack and no one really oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy or woman might have been a woman Did you guys see the tandem toilet It's a porta potty with two instead of one could you show she twin toilets Next to someone else pooping in a tandem toilet. I think it's funny. I could pee no problem. I don't think I could do it I

Actually don't think you can look up Olympian stuck in toilet If we're to the point where outside the snow we got to get in there and pee yeah, I could It poured a potty yeah, yeah They make the Olympians even use this okay But this was last year and the result doesn't stink track star oh Of the but this was last year And the result doesn't stink Track star Oh So she's got stuck Wow So

Yep, that did happen. I'm making dickens up They'll even have bathrooms where there's a urinal next to a toilet with no stall doors around it still Yeah, Duffy's used to have way back in the day and dudes would shit while like there'd be 10 dudes taking a piss. Man, no stall door. At the Royal Rumble in Lucas Oil it was- No Olympic footage. It was porta potties.

Inside. What? There was a, for the floor seats the bathroom situation was the the ramp way coming out of the floor was lined with porta potties on each side and that's how you had to go the bathroom that would have been funny if Jim mercer was like I don't trust wrestling fans to use my bath that might have been these fucking losers you're not going this year right no I'm not going this year where is it well Vegas in Vegas but it's on Easter Sunday I'm gonna stay with family on Easter Sunday and my wife and kid are going out of town it's gonna be

a tough weekend I don't know how I'm gonna pull that off. Wait next week? No next week is nothing but the week after that my wife and daughter are going back to Jersey to visit some some of her friends and you have all three boys? I have all three boys all week and I don't know so you won't be here no I probably will but they'll be here with me some days I'll definitely miss a day or oh is it spring break spring no no it's not spring break spring break in Jersey and then but the draft is that week so I'll have to be here for the draft oh yeah the draft grew to none the drafts is gonna be great.

When your kids find out that Santa Claus isn't real, do they automatically assume the Easter bunny's not real right away? Yeah, I think that's a cat that comes, that's folded in. Tooth fairy's also folded in. Let me ask you a question about that, Brandon. I don't know why, but this year, they, like, leprechauns became a big thing in my house?

Oh, leprechaun traps. How'd that happen? Yeah, they were sent leprechaun traps. For thing in my house. Oh leprechaun Traps for st. Patrick's Day, obviously, yeah, but they were like very into it like they were setting traps every night I was like, what are we doing? There is a pretty open market for I do believe in leprechauns Yeah, well, it's a little tiny Irish guys, but actual leprechaun. Yeah, they're little tiny. Yeah, just like a deformity Yeah, like I'll see a little tiny Irish guy like that's a leprechaun, but I believe they practice leprechaun behavior So like pot of gold and everything not like that, but mischievous Mischief. Yeah, is there any magic to him? Are they just small?

I should know there was leprechaun traps all over my house for like a week straight. That's there's an open market for like a Decorations for st. Patrick's. Yeah, we got a thing of the next one and I didn't leave them I I should have like you didn't leave him a leprechaun. I didn't leave him like I think gold chocolate chocolate coins, yeah No, man, I do my kids went down to the basement one morning They're like the leprechaun was definitely here cuz like all the doors are open I was like it was probably just me Yeah, I was just like I must have been here me yeah, it was me because I couldn't find something Do you think the name Santa was around before Santa Claus or Santa sneaky got like the Adolf

I think it's Saint Nick Saint. It's Spanish for was isn't it literally Saint Nick? Oh Saint Nicholas and Santia Santa means Saint I believe and then it just became it easier. No Santa is the Santa the Rubish Q. Yeah, yeah Yeah, you gotta get him to do the units. We have a unicycle here. Okay, so he's gonna do it. Yeah, Santa We have a unicycle here. OK, so he's going to do it. Yeah. Sante. All right, let's spin the wheel.

Lucas, it's been a pleasure. Oh, you've been great. It's been so much fun. Can't wait till the next time. Do you mean that? Yeah. Is Titus back tomorrow too? No, he's back on the day.

Do you want Hero Club on or off the wheel? Off. TJ's back, Nick will be back. And I think we'll have a couple people in the office. I'll be up Kate will we be perhaps going on a date with Jake this week? He will be here So that was our first one we saw oh yeah Gruden's gonna be I miss Gruden so much I'm going I'm taking Gruden to Madison on Saturday. Oh for what for practice for football practice

Yeah pumped do they know yeah, they know I'm sure If I just showed up rise and I was just like hey We're here. Oh Practice we just showed through tonight just show up in pads We should be in all second to pads Alright, so tomorrow the look what you made me do spaghetti world premiere Yes, we're gonna have to work on that right away, okay, great. All right. See you tomorrow It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Get your straws yak style and stay for a while It's the Yak!

It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Yes, time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Tj's back tomorrow, you'll be fine. No more mess ups. Peace.