The Yak - KB’s Quest To Gentrify Ebony’s Friends Continues | The Yak 8-19-21

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

Hope Tywan Claxton doesnt show upYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. I figure we pick up right where we left off yesterday. Talking about... Frank. You ready for some cringe?

Fleming? Some grade A fucking cringe? You move. I move? Did you get Pat? I want Pat on today. He's coming. You want to sit between both of us?

All right. Frank, happy Frank Thursday. Tank Thursday. I suppose it doesn't matter. Thank you. How's everybody? What's on your mind? What's on your mind, Fleming?

Not Fleming. Little E over there. Little E. She's been acting brand new all day. Brand new how? Do we sell that t-shirt? What does that say? I'm not drunk. That's some white girl shit.

We're going being racist. You see, it's too early for this shit. It is too early. It looks good on me. It's too white girl shit. We're going being racist. You see, it's too early for this shit. It is too early. It looks good on me. That's some wine o'clock shit. It's too early to be racist. What time can you start being racist? Just around supper time. I'm just saying.

Around supper time. When I start coming in here and talking my shit, don't say nothing. Agree or disagree, Frank? So what happened the week you were born? Let's go down to that. The week we were born? The week you were born? Let's go down to Rapid Harbor. The week we were born? The week we were born. They actually wrote a song about something that happened the week I was born.

What was that? The sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. How the fuck did you know that, Kyle? I heard him say, and I saw sinking coming. I'm a speech pathologist. I can sense phonemes. My DMs have been blowing up. They want us to pick up where we were yesterday

about how Ebony called me pretty. I don't think you got a single DM that said that. I got a ton of DMs that are like, Nick, we need to talk about you being pretty again. Fleming, agree or disagree? Am I pretty? Nick's face Like what do you

Non-biased What do you think about it Non-binary That could be an answer The fact that he's taking this long Not so much God damn it Alright that's fine Not so much. God damn it.

Alright, that's fine. We have bare bones crew today. Pat said he was going to come in. Ebony, you and Pat get along? Yeah, I get along with Pat. Who don't you get along with? No, it's who do you because there's only so many people. I don't really like a lot of people here. You're kind of an outsider.

You think? I'm an outsider in here an outsider. You think? Who's your least favorite person in this office? I'm an outsider in here right now. How so? How the fuck so? Just zoom in. I'm an outsider. But anyways.

I had someone who was DMing me that he had promos here. I guess I got duped by somebody. What do you mean promos? How'd you get duped? I don't know. He asked where I was sitting. and I said by the rundown. Then he said he couldn't find me, so I went by the doors. Who is DMing you?

Oh, they're pretending to work here? Yeah. But what was the account? Did you recognize the name? No, it was just a phone number. Oh, you got a text. A text, yeah. And you took their word for it?

Well, I thought it was someone in the office. Did they ever say who it was? Well, I have an old text from him saying it was Mike from Promos. Mike from Promos? He's from Promos. What's Promos? I don't know. I mean, it's convincing enough.

The wing of our office? Yeah, the promo wing. Now, what did he say? So I said, I'm gonna go by the doors, and that's why I went by the doors, and then he texted me again, oh, I'm in the bathroom And so were you waiting for Mike from promos? I went up to the doors And then he says, it's going to be a while, I'm in the bathroom

And then he texted me that he dropped something off to KFC And KFC's not even here today Wow What kind of promo were you expecting? Call him up I don't know Do you want to call him right now? Why don't you give him a call?

I'm not going to give him dissatisfaction. No, let's blow up his spot. No, we should. All right, well, let's see. Let's see who this is. Bixby? Yeah, let's get Bixby to give him a call. Ebony, you ever do prank phone calls and sleepovers?

No, that's childish. We're here with Pat now. Pat, thanks for making it. Thanks for having me. Pat, you said you tuned into yesterday's show. Do you have any thoughts? I loved it. I think Ebony and KB have undeniable chemistry.

It's not all about her today. I think it's sexual chemists in nature. Where's my list? I think so. I think so. I'm not even... You're like the girl that flew these these doors but a lot of people say I can't hear

because y'all talking over each other so you know you know what it is it's forbidden love they want each other why is it forbidden I don't want him at all

because of the race issue because of the yeah that's why what would happen if you brought KB like around your friends

I would never well she is about to what if you brought her to wheel first of all I'm gonna baby J I'm going to hook him up. Baby J? I'm trying to hook him up with a-

Sweet little Jess? I'm trying to hook him up with my friend because I'm out of his league. You're out of his league? You think he's- Do I really got to say that again? No. I loved yesterday's show. I thought it was great.

I think KB, when I'm around him, I think I make him nervous. He turns red. He's saying I'm acting different. He's KB, when I'm around him, I think I make him nervous. He turns red. He's saying I'm acting different. He's always red. He could put you in your place. He's saying that I'm acting different. I act the same all the time. You're Arizona Rookie League.

He could put you in your place in bed. Single A advanced. How? What league? What is the update on Jessica? Who's Jessica? Zah. You can call her.

Zah, you got her number? Yeah, Zah Ben had her number. Does Zah? No, no, no, no. Video call or audio call? No, you can audio call her. Is she going to pick up? I'm wearing a snapback.

So I'm calling her? Why do you need a snapback? I look fly. That's, yeah. That's a thing. Wait, so I'm calling her? Yeah, I just texted her. KB would dominate you in bed.

You're just trying to start something. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm just saying he's a wrestler. Don't call her yet. You would pick your ass down. Don't call her yet. He's a wrestler. What the fuck did that mean?

I don't give a fuck about that shit. Fight him on rough and round. We can fight whenever you want. Why is it turning into us fighting? I'm either going to fight your man. This is what Patty wants. Fuck your group. Fight or fuck. I just know.

I'm going to gentrify your friend group. We'll be playing May Day Parade at the cookout. KB, don't cry. I know. I had a dream last night. We're going to be quoting Modern Family Turn into my little Jessica Parker

Well let's see if you Can scoop it first You know Cause you talking Run scoop games Scoop it up Cause I'm I'm a gold glove

Miguel Tejada Let's get her on Because he's doing Too much chatting I'm curious to see I'm curious Has he met Has he met who I had a dream Last night Let's get her on because he's doing too much chat. I'm curious to see. What about him? Has he met who?

I had a dream last night. I don't know that music. Not yet. Not yet. Has he met who? Has he met Tiffany? Yeah, he knows Tiffany. Why don't you set him up with Tiff? What? Which Tiff?

Tiffany, the postal girl. I don't think you do. I've seen her. I've met her a bunch. You've met her a bunch. Frank, let's call Frank's guy first. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Frank.

Well, let's see this guy. Are you team Tiffany or team Jessica, Frank? He's not. He's not. He's not. You know who Tiffany is. Do you know what? KB is your trivia partner. Do you not want him to find love?

I want him to find love. I just, whoever he finds, he finds. You're worried this is lust? This is pushing it too much. It's not natural. I mean, whatever happens, happens naturally. And if you push it, then you end up looking like the Mets. I hate to use an unnatural method.

And if you push it, then you end up like the Mets and you swing and miss everything. All right, let me give this number a call. Let's see. Mike from promos. Your ass better be slinging promo. Hold it right to the mic. Yeah. Coward.

It's a Massachusetts number. Okay. So you know he's a scumbag. Yeah. Ebony, where are you from? From the Bronx. No, I know you moved there when you were like 12. Aren't you from like Iowa or something? You're trying to be funny. I'm not trying to be funny. That's what I heard. You know I'm born you from from the bronx no i know you moved there when you were like 12 aren't you from like iowa or something you're trying to be funny i'm not trying to be funny that's what i heard i'm born and raised from the bronx no i did not know that hell you gave me i did not know that

no so i was born and raised from the bronx oh don't don't dox him oh no we're good we're good all right mike coward no ebony yeah what a coward i... Frank, you're born in Idaho, right? Montana. Montana. Ebony, you're somewhere from a great plain state, right? You moved here when you were like 12. What the hell? They are so disrespectful to you.

They are so disrespectful. Yeah. Frank? Ruff and Rowdy next Friday. Frank is coming to Donnie's Corner. Frank will be Donnie's corner man. Ruff and Rowdy, Donnie versus QCP. will be Donnie's corner man. Rough and Rowdy. Donnie versus QCP.

He's so... And we also have Pac-Man Jones. I know QVC went out of business. Oh, got him. This guy is unemployed. This guy is unemployed. He's a TikTok star. I mean...

I mean, what is this guy anyway? He just... He's hot. Very hot. Very jacked. Very successful. Very popular. But all he does is... Cis man. I mean, he just he's hot very hot very jacked very successful very but all he does is popular cis man i i mean he just sits there he sits there without a shirt on while he's cooking and and i don't think that's very sanitary number one yeah i get like burnt i mean come on i mean

i mean chef donnie has foods that everyone could cook and everyone can eat I mean this guy is just going betch betch betch I mean what he's just saying betch betch betch oh he has merch that says what does it say? it says betch B-E-T-C-H that's some shit Ebony would say I mean betch

no you say betch I'm hangry I'm hangry betch I mean what does this guy do? He's trying to start some shit up. Ebony. I'm trying to be chill. You know, you've been quiet since we've been talking about.

You're not asking me shit. How about you? No, you've been quiet. We've been talking about fights, and then you just. Nobody. Do anybody in here want to fight? You shrunk into your seat. Do anybody in here want to fight?

I don't think you've ever been in a fight. KD wants to fight. KD don't want to fight. You've never been in a fight. I showed you videos. I've seen videos of her. You've never been in a fight. I showed you videos. I've seen videos of her. You said it. That was a sock and bopper.

You weren't a sock and bopper. I haven't seen the videos. KB, we can fight whenever you're ready. We can fight in here. You like when I say KB? Is it turning you on? I don't think anything's going to stick up, though. You know?

You won't feel any arousal. She's going to show you the Bronx. Yeah, you should come to the Bronx. I am coming. You know, I remember Bobby Bonilla. He went there and he said, nobody knew you. He went to your block and he said, nobody knew you. I remember this Bobby Bonilla played for the Mets.

Oh, yeah. A guy wrote a book about how bad he was playing called The Worst Team Money Can Buy. And Bobby Bonilla walked over and says, I'm going to show you the Bronx. And what did that mean? You're more than welcome to come to the Bronx. I don't know what he's talking about right now, but you can definitely come to the Bronx. KB.

KB's going to be there. He'll be waking up. Did you reach the climax of your story? Yes. He threatened to beat him up by saying I'm going to show you the Bronx. Is that a saying? Is that a saying? Is that a saying? Yeah, no, I don't think so.

I don't know if I get it. And who is this? Bobby Bonilla? Bobby Bonilla. Very famous clip where Bobby Bonilla confronted Bob Clappish, a reporter who was covering the Mets. Clappish. This is him. I'm going to show you the Bronx.

Does she have an STD? Not quite, but she's a little clapper. She's clappish. Oh, look at you laughing. I'll take you to Bronx. Does she have an STD? Not quite, but she's a little clapper. She's clapper. Oh, look at you laughing. Damn. It wasn't even that funny. Why didn't you host it?

That's how I test the waters with the girl, see if she's feeling me. I say a corny joke. KB, nobody in here is feeling you at all. Nobody is feeling you at all. Like, not even the interns. KB was a hit in P-Town, though. Yeah, that's P-Town. Nobody is finny At all Like not even the interns The interns feel They are KB was a hit in P-Town though

Yeah that's P-Town That's He was Guys liked him in P-Town No I wasn't Yeah he was I think he was getting Probably hit on more by guys

The gay community Was disgusted by our group No KB's like a little Like pocket gay What's that mean? It's Frank giggles Frank you

Wait wait I believe that A pocket gay Is it's like a very small gay You can like stick in your pocket What's that mean? Frank giggles. A pocket gay is like a very small gay you can stick in your pocket. You can fuck them whenever you want. So when you fuck a pocket gay, are none of their four limbs on the ground? Could be. See, you're smaller than KB, but you're not a pocket gay. He's not smaller than KB. KB has pocket gay energy.

Is he? Pocket gay. You're a pocket gay. He's not smaller than KB. KB has pocket gay energy. He's smaller. Is he? Pocket gay. You're a pocket gay. You need a t-shirt. You should make a pocket T and have the pocket say gay. Pocket gay. I would wear that shirt

all the time. That's my best merch idea. I've been here five years and haven't had one good idea. That might be it. A gay shirt would kill it. All of our best merch is just adjectives.

Hungover. I make fun of the merch that signs my check. What else? What's our biggest seller? Hungover. Hungover, probably. It's got to be. What's your least favorite piece of merch?

You're a devious weasel when it comes to merch. A devious weasel? You know how to get that bonus. Yeah. I remember one time you asked me to go in 5% on your St. Paddy's Day. You're a devious weasel when it comes to merch. A devious weasel? You know how to get that bonus. Yeah. I remember one time you asked me to go in 5% on your St. Paddy's Day. You designed the Adidas Clover. I did.

I tricked KB when we first started. I was like, yo, man, you should just retweet this a couple times. And because he didn't know the way that it worked, he did, and I got a bonus. And I gave him nothing. Nothing? He just put Clover in it? That's the worst shirt in the store. Shut the fuck up, Frank. Could you take KB in a fight, Ebony?

Or no, not KB. KFC. Oh, my God. KFC's a pussy. He can't fight. He might beat the shit out of you, though. He's not that. KFC, he thinks because he went to Fordham University that he's tough.

He's not tough. He thinks he's tough because he went to Fordham? Fordham is tough He's not tough He thinks he's tough Because he went to Fordham Fordham is like the preppiest shit in the world Yeah but they say that Because Fordham University is in the Bronx So they're like If I could you know Stay in school in the Bronx

I gotta be tough Don't kids get robbed at Fordham all the time Absolutely Like the second they go off Absolutely Arthur Avenue The second they're off Arthur Avenue They get robbed

Imagine Tommy Smokes Walking through your neighborhood Do you ever see any Barstool merch up in your area? I do. What? Really? I do.

Yeah, I do. You ever say Saturdays are for the boys flag? Bro. I do. I do. I've seen Kevin's ugly quilted sweater.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, the shirt, but that's comfortable and it's the most comfortable thing. Yeah, that was an ugly quilted sweater. It doesn't stretch. Yeah. Who was wearing that garment?

I don't fucking know his name. Is he a pedestrian? Where he got? Oh, okay. Duh. Duh. What the fuck? You ain't gonna see no black people

walking around with this shit besides me. You're not even wearing it right now. Yes, I... Come on, baby. Oh, you are. I'm not not drunk. Not not drunk. Are you drunk right now?

I might be. Right in my business, Nick. You're wearing a shirt that says not not drunk. I'm allowed to ask. Why are you in my business, Nick? You're wearing a shirt that says not not drunk. I'm allowed to ask. You got to be in my business, though? Let's talk about other stuff. Because this is not. This is not.

I thought this was about to be a whole. What do you want to talk about? Let's talk about KB. Let's get Jessica on the line. Call Jessica. Call her up. Call her up. Why don't you just call her and put her on speaker?

KB, why don't you call her so she has your number? Do you have any qualms dating a woman with a child? No, no, no. I'll pinch it, like we said. You'll be the pinch-hit daddy. Pinch-hit dad. I might have someone for KB. Well, that sounds vaguely abusive.

Actually, let's pinch-hit dad. I might have something for that little pocket guy. Yeah, actually, let's do a speed dating show One week where we all bring in a partner for you That would be a great idea That would be really good Lord knows he need it Lord knows I need it

Yes you definitely need it Frank would you be the compatibility judge I might be able to do that Can you tell when there's a spark in the air I don't know I mean there's no spark in the air? I don't know. I mean, there's no sparks around me at all, whatever. You can sense sparks.

Lisa Leslie. Jordan. Is she a spark? Probably, yeah. I tried my best. Great news, I spelled the title to one of my blogs wrong. That's bad. Pat, you got some shine.

God damn it, I'll be right shine. You got some shine yesterday. Oh, yeah. Let me fix this really quick. She's on the phone. Oh, hello? Jessica? Yes, Jessica's here. Hey, Jessica. I gotta fix this. I'm here with Ebony and my good friend Kyle, and he just wanted to say hey.

Jess. Jess. Jess. I can barely hear you. We should call her ourselves. Hold on, hold on. Kyle, take the wheel. I can't hear you. You can text me.

Ebony will give you my number, and we can figure it out. I'm nervous. We can't hear her. She sounds cute. She sounds cute. She does sound hot. Yeah, hot girls have the worst service. Always.

Always one bar. Yeah, not hung up. Oh, shit, you're calling her. Kyle, you're good. Did all right. Hello? Yo. Yo, put it closer to the mic.

All right, so KB's here. He's trying to, you know. KB's, you know, talking shit. He said you sound good. Just how we doing. Now you's trying to, you know. KB, you know, talk your shit. She's here. He said you sound good. Just how we doing. Now you have a nice, pleasant voice. I definitely do.

Hi, KB. I didn't say you sounded sexy. I didn't not say that either. Yeah, very, very, very sexy. How about you? Let's just skip to the ultimate point here. What is that? Me come to the Bronx, double date.

What? Did you not warn her? No, I'm not telling her not. I told you what I told her. You're going to have to shoot your shot. I'm not making it easy for you. Pitch yourself. Right.

But you explicitly said it would be easy. You got to shoot it. What's that? Yeah. Shoot it. Shoot it, Kyle. What's up? Should I invite you down to my area?

Shit, she wouldn't last a second in five hours. Confidence. Confidence. Tell her what you look like. Tell her what your pattern is. Give a description of what you look like. You got the cake. Yeah tell her what you look like Give a description Give a description of yourself You got the cake He's got a good ass

Don't even joke about the print I'm not I'm not saying anything I'm not saying anything She's gonna see for herself I don't wanna see for myself I wanna know for myself Ooh

KB described herself physically Jess Jess I'm just saying right now He's looking real hot And bothered real quick. He's looking like a little confused. Like he don't know what he want to say to you. I'm not confused.

Okay. Whoa. I like it. Come on, KB. You had all this energy yesterday. He had all this energy. All this energy. She's on the phone.

I'm seeing the genesis of a first print. KB's not speaking. What's going on, KB? Jess, I'm trying to figure something out. What are you into? What am I into? Well, I'm actually into... Punk rock.

Pop goes punk. Mayday parade. You want to hear a little Shawn Mendes cover by State Champs? I love drinking. Brunch? She said she liked drinking. Brunch?

Yes. Smoking. You like peach bellinis? Smoking is a must. Oh, no. Brunch? She said she liked drinking. Brunch? Smoking. You like peach bellinis? Smoking is a must. Smoking is a must. All right. It's 1130. You guys are getting brunch.

Two eggs Benedict. You see a man walking towards you. Head to toe Patagonia. She into that? Hell no. Little bow leggedgged a little bit but it's a negative good thing i was just playing so her men s have a tolerance for weed right okay right what about edibles KB why is everyone talking

but you I don't know what to say she's making it hard I thought it was easy I bet she is I bet she is she is making it hard I don't know how to respond to

mmm he's got a boner Jessica Jess okay so I'm just gonna put it out there since he's a pussy and he's not gonna tell you so he comes in every single day every single day

I have to watch him walk in here. And he don't have no print. You know how we feel about the guys with the gray shorts. No print. No print. No print. No print. It's not a deal breaker.

She said, how tall are you? Why are we starting? He's 5'9". 5'9"? He's so... He don't even know what to say right now. You can't get fucked by a print. Isn't there something fun about a grower

instead of a shower? No, I'm going to need to see something. And I've been waiting to see KB. You want it to hang. Jeff, do you need to see me first? Just a little bit. I want it to hang just a little bit. Adam.

Don't worry, we just got the regulars on. This is going tragically. This could not have went worse. You're not talking, KB. I don't know what to say. Tell her what you look like. Tell her how you like to fuck. That's not normal.

That's what she wants to know. She obviously wants to know. Right. How do you like to hit her how you like to fuck. That's not normal. That's what she wants to know. She obviously wants to know. Right. How do you like to hit it? We want to know how you hit it, KB. How do you hit it? Will this affect my chances? Yes.

Help your chances. I don't think it's bad. Yeah. Slap. I'll say it. Say it. Say it. Slap.

Slap. Slap your pussy around with my dick. Slap. Yeah. He wants to slap your pussy around. I didn't say I want to. Yes, he does. With his dick that he doesn't have.

Maybe you should stop trying to fuck and use your mouth instead. Yeah, it might work better. Historically do, yeah. Right. You should just be an ass eater. You should just be an ass eater because this is not it. Rowan, you just walked in. Any idea what's going on?

No, Frank, fill me in. I'm just looking for a hole to crawl in. Too much sex talk? Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Oh, Jessica's still there. Jessica. Do you have any questions for her, Nick, before I hang up?

I think just a double date in the Bronx. Or why doesn't she just come in tomorrow? That's a great idea. Yeah, you know what? Just come in. Just come in. I'll show you the office. I'll show you Dave's office, hook you up with some merch.

Show you the PMT studio where the magic happens. Did you get nervous? What'd she say? Did you get nervous? Are you nervous? I'm inviting you to the Barstool HQ. Give you a little tour. At what time?

At what time? At what time? Because she's with it She's going to come What time? When are you event Yeah come at one At one? Are you going to pay my Uber?

I'll pay for your Uber What about your kid? You better You can bring your kid Bring the kid So we'll see you tomorrow at one I'll see you tomorrow at one guys Are'll see you tomorrow at 1, guys. Are you coming for real?

Oh, my God. Yeah, she's coming. Okay. She's so nervous. She said she'll see you tomorrow, KB. Okay. Is that how she said it? Make sure you should wear them gray shorts. Wear something sexy, Jess.

The gray ones. The gray ones. The light gray ones. Okay? No, we're not doing this. She wants you to wear the light gray shorts. What are you going to wear? Don't worry about anything I wear.

Okay. I'll take you to a barcade. We can play jumbo janga. Come in. Yeah, come on in. All right, come in. All right. I didn't think you guys want to make it back in time.

You can take my spot. I just wanted to hear Jess. Okay, yeah. All right, Pat, thank you for joining us. I feel like you didn't shoot your shot at all. No, no, he's in. Oh, no, you're in. I am?

You're in. Yeah. She's coming all the way down here to see you. I did. Don't make me look bad. I did get aggressively nervous. That's a fun word for it. Yeah.

I think it ended well. Thank you. Can you explain what's going on? Can I get her number? Yesterday Ebony came on And wanted to hook Kyle up with her friend Jessica Because Jessica's easy She's easy

But she has big tits And a big ass And no stomach Okay how'd she achieve that? Flat tummy T? No she went on a body dump Okay where'd she go to get her body done? Costa Rica? DR.

Oh, okay. She got the fatty. Did she have her lips done? Or is that natural? No, it's natural. Oh, fuck. And then Kyle said to call her. She didn't pick up yesterday. We called today, and now she's coming into the office tomorrow.

For sure. Yeah, and she's a mother. So Kyle cuts out all... You cut out the middleman of sex he's gonna be a daddy i'm honestly interested and i don't want to fuck this up i don't want you guys to fuck this we're not gonna fuck it up especially you i'm not saying anything frank i'm not saying anything you have to don't say any slick shit behind the scenes i'm gonna be looking at... If you actually fuck with me, then hype me up a little bit. I'm not going to lie to her either, KB. I don't know what you want me to say to her. Hype her up with truth.

She'll be awkward at first, but once he gets flowing, you'll have a blast. Will she? KB, have you ever been with a... Yes. A non-white woman? Right.

She has? Yes. I'm asking. Not culturally, but yes. Yeah. Yeah. So no. She was adopted into a family of doctors.

Actually, yes. You took a Lily Poulter dress off of her. Yeah. So where are you going to take her out, KB? What? Where are you taking her out? The Pioneer, right down the road. What is the Pioneer? so where are you going to take her out KB what where are you taking her the pioneer right down the road

what is the pioneer they have like the bar games alright so let me just put this out there because I told you she was easy right you're making this hard

she said she wanted liquor and bud you over here talking about taking her out no you're trying to get the bun he's going to take her

to the Vera Bradley outfit to her to pick out anything she wants get her some shots get some shots get some, and that's it. I shouldn't even have to tell you this. He's got alt gain, though.

I feel like... What kind of liquor? Like a 99 apples? KB's moving like an old man. You're giving me old man vibes. You're giving me old man vibes. A little Fruity Loops. Just get him some Pink Whitney.

Some Three Olives Loopy. No, I'm being serious. What liquor should I get? Hennessnessy i just told you she's my friend okay and just smoke a blunt you'll feel fine just get zooted and you'll be good you love being zooted take a couple pop a couple what should i wear for real well i can't help you yeah because you can't dress anyway so try to do something about that print too you should put something you can kyle can dress he cannot don't lie to him you have to say that because you're his friend i don't have to i don't have to like lie i'm telling the

truth owen switch them outfits would that work a lot of people here can't dress, if you ask me. Let's go. Talk about it. Talk about it. Who? Worst dresser. KB. No way. No, I'm just kidding. It's so many. So many.

All right. Boys, welcome back. Welcome back. You guys. I'm down with this Johan Gutenberg talk, bro. Let's talk about my boy's print. He don't want to talk about it anymore. Fuck out of here with, bro. Let's talk about my boy's print. He don't want to talk about it anymore.

Fuck out of here with that shit. He's pressed on his print. He literally, I feel like he wants to kill me. Like, every time he stares at me, he has like the death stare. Nah, that's just him. No, look how he looks. He told me he wants to fight my baby daddy. I told him we could jump him.

We could jump him. I told you this. Together? Yes. I don't like him anyway. We could jump him. I told you this. Together? Yes. I don't like him anyway. We could jump him. Okay. He's got resting.

He's got resting. Put Frank to sleep. Put Frank to sleep. Wow. He's looking. He's got to get up for his house tomorrow. Are you out? Are you dozing?

Fleming? I just have nothing to say. Wow. That's a first. I'm on slump mode myself. Yeah? You look it, brother. You look it.

How was that? Were you allowed to say where you were? Jet lag? Yeah. I think you guys were in Buffalo. How was that? We were in Buffalo. It was great. Shuffle off the buffalo.

Shuffle off the buffalo. Is this going to be your first musical credit? Yeah. Did you sing? Was that exciting for you? Look, I don't know if we're allowed to get into details.

I gotta talk to my manager. We're gonna see what we can do. So that's incredible. It was really, really fun, actually. What did he do? It was the most fun I've had in a long time.

You rapped? Yeah, it was hilarious. Did you rap? I'll be the judge of that. We were in like a real ass studio did you also know that buffalo has their own style of pizza well how's it how is it what is it it's fat it's thick oh shit yeah and that's always a good angle right at the ankles up yeah right at

the bottom of that one smut smut smut smut got smut got jacked in buffalo did he what does that mean smut smut got his hat stolen his car jacked? What does that mean? Smut got his hat stolen. His car jacked? But he made it seem like he got his camera and shit stolen. He was like, well, you guys left me at the bar and all my personals were stolen. He called him personal. Yeah. Just his hat.

Was he wearing a Smutledge jersey? Yes, he was. Gotcha. Are you going to retire that Bauer jersey, Bauer? Yeah, you have a Trevor Bauer jersey. Trevor Bauer jersey, Indians. Oh, God. It's a twofer.

With the Chief logo on it. Oh. That is... It's a surprise. That's an heirloom. Surprise possession. Why don't you wear that in tomorrow? Ebony, where you going?

Checked out. All right. All right. Keep in touch. Why are you staring at me? In the infrared sexes Alright You're moving your limbs weird You know what

You're acting like KP's about to fuck your friend silly I've seen that look before What if I did? I doubt that you would But if you do Then that's on you I would love to see the video though

Cause I'm convinced You have a baby dick I'm convinced I. Because I'm convinced you have a baby dick. I'm convinced. I'm convinced. You're convinced he has a baby dick. Yes. KB, you typically record? Do you record?

I've recorded. So are you going to record this? Record what? She might. He did it. He took a written record, though. She will. We'll set her up with some cameras.

He recorded with a stenographer. Yeah, yeah. Talk to me after this. She will. We'll set her up with some cameras. He recorded with a stenographer. Yeah, yeah. Talk to me after this. In private. That's right. We'll do it in front of everybody. KB, why are you so chubbed up right now?

Because it's about to lay pipe, bro. I think I might. I'm not being dead serious. I'm mentally preparing for it now. And she's videotaping it, whether you want her to or not. Have you been with an ass that fat? I don't know what she looks like. She sounded hot.

She goes to the DR. She sounded hot. Zah, you've seen her. Yeah. Tell me when to stop ass-walking. Pick a Benabolo oatmeal. Right about there. Right about there.

Right about there? Right about there. Right about there? That's a three and a half foot ass. KB, you can't handle that. And for the waist, for the waist, you come in a little bit more, come in a little bit more right there. What? Oh, my God. This woman's shaped like a beet.

That's Squidward when he got all the patties. Like a common turnip. KB's about to beat. What are you going to listen to on your way to meet up with her? Probably Joe Budden. Yeah, she got an ass, but her soul is whack. Coke bottle body, but the soda's flat. That's not his most famous song.

Yeah, that's like a deep Joe Budden. You've been on your Jersey shit. Damn. Damn. Shout out to Joe Budden. You've been on your lyric shit. Were you talking about someone was tagging me in an Immortal Technique comment yesterday. Were you talking about Immortal Technique?

I did. You know, he went to Penn State. He's a Harlem boy. Is he like Hispanic? Yes, he is. He used to bully Lin-Manuel Miranda, shove him in lockers. No, in a dumpster.

In a dumpster. He locked him in a dumpster. Yeah, you can't be shoved in a dumpster too big. You have to get picked up and put down into the dumpster. So how was the trip? It was fun. How was the trips? It was really fun? It was really fun

It was really long Oh yeah you were in Wyoming too 36 hours no? Yeah but I had to fly three days in a row Which I hate flying Any injuries in Wyoming? No

Internal Internal Oh I got bit by a dog Where'd you go in Wyoming? Internally bit by a dog Got me'd you go in Wyoming? Internally bit by a dog. Got me right in the kidney. Buffalo, Wyoming? Yeah.

I thought you were in Buffalo, New York. I was there too. He was in Buffalo and Wyoming. I didn't know there was a Buffalo and Wyoming. He was in Buffalo and Wyoming. No, he was in Buffalo, Wyoming. No, I asked where in Wyoming he was. And he was in Buffalo, Wyoming.

There's a Buffalo, Wyoming? Yeah. Yes. But he saw a mo, Wyoming. There's a Buffalo, Wyoming? Yeah. Yes. But he saw a moose, not a buffalo there. Now, where is Buffalo, Wyoming? It's like in the middle of the square. I don't know. It's like in Buffalo.

I don't know. That's the only place I know. It's like two hours away from everything, right? There's no hotels, you said? Yeah, it's kind of in the middle of nowhere. Well, I've been to Wyoming, so I know where the middle of Wyoming. Oh, shoot. That's near Montana.

That is near... Go up and stroll up a little bit. That's a jaunt from Billings. Great Falls. That's where I'm from. That's where I was born. It can't be somehow harder now that I have maps on the screen.

Yeah. Idaho Falls. That's basically the area where my parents live. Idaho Falls? How long were you in Montana for? My parents lived between Idaho Falls and Pocatello. What's that's basically the area where my parents live. Idaho Falls? How long were you in Montana for? My parents lived between Idaho Falls and Pocatello. What's that city on the left?

When did you leave Montana? When I was like one. Oh, okay. Coeur d'Alene? Yeah, scroll in a little bit. That city on the left is a beaut. God damn it. You know, I haven't been back to Great Falls in like, I've never been back to Great Falls

since my parents left there when I was like less than one. Did you go out on your own? No, I haven't been out to there. Oh, you got to get there. It looks like a good time. Yeah, I got to get back to Great Falls. They're a hostile bunch. You were asking if he left Great Falls on his own.

What's that museum? When he was less than one. What kind of shit do they have at this museum? I don't know. I've never been to Great Falls since I was one. That's some shoddy taxidermy. You haven't been there since you were one? Yes.

Since you were born. Yeah. You haven't been there. You were born there. I was born there. The C.M. Russell. Damn, I'm dying to go to that museum. But did you see that Native American

who was about to shoot that buffalo from point-blank range? That was preposterous. Shout out to the boss lady. I saw Mount Rushmore. Very underwhelming. That's what I've heard. You were in South Dakota, too?

I flew out of Rapid City, South Dakota. To get where? To Wyoming. That's where both my flights were. And on the way back, we went to Mount Rushmore, and it was very, very underwhelming. Did you send a picture to Big Cat? No.

You should have. I know. These guys love that shit on part of my take. Yeah. I almost didn't even take a picture of it, because I was just like, I don't even care about this. Get those three fucking cishet. But that's not even one. It's the fourth.

Oh, yeah. Lincoln's all right. Roosevelt was gay. Teddy. Teddy. Nice to meet you, Teddy. It was just like a bear. You have to like pay. Come on, man. I'm tired, man. I don't care. bear. You have to like pay.

Come on, man. I'm tired, man. I don't care. You got to go to the store. Yeah, I do. I do. I need to get an energy drink. You have to like pay to go see it.

First of all, we didn't do that. We just drove by and like it's like a mile away and their faces look tiny. Ten bucks. We were in a rush. Had to get to the airport. You got to pay and then you got to park and you got to walk up. Why can't we just walk up? Or just drive up?

I mean. They're just trying to suck money out of us. I mean, pay, park, and walk up is kind of the norm for anything. What else are you going to do in South Dakota? I mean, if it wasn't for Mount Rushmore. The Corn Palace. Sue Falls. That's just drives by movie theaters.

I mean, if it wasn't for Mount Rushmore. The Corn Palace. Sue Falls. That's just derived by movie theaters. I mean, if it wasn't for Mount Rushmore. At a dinosaur museum. You couldn't differentiate North Dakota from South Dakota. Okay, that's a spicy one. It was, South Dakota was shockingly hot. I know, seriously. Well, it's called summer. Oh, whoa, whoa.

Frank is on one. It's been Kurt. It was 101 in South Dakota. I mean, we all watched your performance on The Dozen the other day. It's a road fest. What is this about? He's been Kurt. He's taking a Kurt angle.

He is, yeah. It's hella Kurt. Yeah, it wasn't on the dozen. Well, after I was sitting here in just this cringe fest for the last... Oh, Frank, it wasn't even your day. This isn't your show. Well, it is Tank Thursday. Yeah.

So what are you complaining about? I'm just sitting here with the cringe fest over here. Yes. Blah, blah, blah. I mean, I mean, you had a chance at the plate and you look like

Brandon Nimmo watching three pictures go down the middle of the plate. My performance was poor with Jessica, but that's not the point. I think the episode

was well received. It was well received. Some said it was electric and if you don't think so, you're living in banana land. It did not stink. On the scale of stinks to electric. On the scale of stinks to electric. On the scale of stinks to electric.

What episode are you guys talking about? Yesterday. The yak. It was a controversial one. Frank hated it. He did, Frank? I'm just here. It was Wednesday.

Yeah, well, you invited me in here because no one was here. Who did? Who did it? Owen did. Owen! The puppet master. Owen, you're being quieter than normal.

What are you trying to be on? Trying to talk about 90s Mets broadcasters? I would. I mean, it's better that you try to pick up chicks on the yak this is the only chance for my own personal game it's the only chance he has to pick up chicks

I mean I support him but I just don't want to be there when it happens I understand you were uncomfortable I would like to be there when it happens do you guys need to work on each other's wingman game? Sounds like there's a lot of hostility in the booth today. We're all going to wingman the fuck

out of you tomorrow. Is Frank going to? Frank's shaking his head no. Frank's saying I'm not going to. Why would we ever correct? Frank's not going to wingman you. What are we doing on Friday when she's in? Are we watching wrestling highlights of Kyle? Yeah. Kurt Angle highlights.

The thing about... Isn't there only one video and it's you losing? There's my several videos, but the only wrestling matches they would film of me are big matches, so I'm facing good opponents and I'm losing in all of them. Yeah. But gutsy

decision losses. You know, a guy sent to a bunch of people In Barstool yesterday A resume with a tootie pop Was that to Barstool? Well it was sent to a lot of people Erica got one, I got one You got a resume? You gotta hire him

And the resume was sent on a CVS receipt That's pretty good That's pretty good Really? That must be a long resume. All right, guys, I actually have to go, but thank you so much for having me. Are you going to get soup?

Oh, this is versus Taiwan. Okay, well, look at this. He's a weight class above me. He's an MMA star. Look at my defense. I'm fighting off the single leg. He's about to pinch off your ankle. Hey, look, this is Maction. This is Maction. Look at that. All I'm fighting off the single leg. He's about to pinch off your ankle. Hey, look.

This is Maction. This is Maction. Look at that. All right. End it. Well, now I got to see what happens here. Because when he slams you, it's like your head is next to your ankle in the air. Does he pick you up?

This is high definition, and you are clearly getting your ass beat. You can tell by the look on your face. I feel like you look good. I feel like you look steady. It's a shame. Is that the student section up there behind you? Yeah, that's it. Your laps look massive, though.

And your arms look pretty fucking big, too. Is this the worst tragedy to happen to Kent State? Of course, you're talking about the murderers. Oh, yeah. You know, when I was on my road trip with Doug's, I was going through a bunch of different towns. I would bring up different things about different towns. So I told him about the Kent State Massacre.

He didn't know about that? No. What were his thoughts? What were his't know about that? No. What were his thoughts? What were his immediate takeaways about it? He was shocked that the National Guard basically decided to just start firing at everybody. I wish they did that with the freaking protesters last summer. You know what I mean, Frank? Try and get a little political.

So Kyle, what's going through your head right here? I'm just trying to stall and lose a decision, which is seven or less. And so my team is in a better position. Did you go into this knowing you were going to lose? Yes. 100%. Yes. Did your parents watch this?

No. This is past the point. Past the point of what? They were like, I'm not going to even watch. So yeah, so no action. I'm not going to even watch. So, yeah, no action. I'm just trying to not lose by major decision. And does he know that? Walk us through this because I don't know.

He looks like he's a big dude. You look flexible. Again, I was up a weight class. How are your hip flexors so loose? Give us some tips. And why were you up a weight class? Because the starter was hurt. Wait, is this good or bad for you?

This is good for you. Not a bad fight off. 43 seconds left. What's the scoreboard say back there? Get him, Kyle. If everyone could upvote this video and comment something about how... Can we see the comments? Not bad for bumping up a weight class.

Gutsy performance. It looks like Kent is up six to nothing. Wait, but what happens in the last 15 seconds is it looks like you're doing good. I lose eight to two. Wow. I thought there was like a slam. So there's no like KOs in wrestling? Speaking of KOs, what?

Look up Taiwan Claxton knockout. I think we're... Oh, no, wait. What did we just miss? What did we just miss? Kyle, you... Uh-oh. Oh, no. No, that wasn't the worst one.

Let's go forward a little bit. No, that was the worst one. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. No, it was not the worst one. No, it wasn't the worst one. Let's go forward a tiny bit. Because he does it again quick.

Let's go forward a tiny bit. Because he does it again quick. Let's see. Okay. Why do you have to get in this position? It looks like you're ready to receive it. Yeah. Looking like a natural Teddy Roosevelt. Step it up, boys. I've heard it all.

Felt it all, too. It looks like you're getting fucked. Wait, that is the student section. It has a sign that says student section. There's not a soul there.

I think it was... Is this a holiday? Wait, why is... This there was a pandemic. Kimmy's getting ready to get fucked. You look jacked though. You look jacked though You look jacked

Receive a compliment I was power cleaning 245 Squatting 1255 Receive a compliment one time And is this a bad spot you're in right now? It looks like he's actually about to make you start punching yourself Stop hitting yourself Maybe so

Let's see what happens Nothing's going on here That hurt No his face It's a man Maybe so. Stop hitting yourself. Let's see what happens. Nothing's going on here. Oh, that hurt. No, his face. It's a man. Okay. It's just a bunch of boring shit. Are you sure?

I'm having fun. That's why the student section is so thrilled. Oh, Kyle. Now he's rubbing your face in it. I'm having fun. That's why the student section is so thrilled. Now he's rubbing your face in it. Now this is fine. Yeah, zero points are being scored. Have you lost girth in your ass since retiring? Yeah, you do have a big ass there. I have a big ass.

Did your girlfriend at the time, did she watch this? I didn't have a girl. I thought you did. No. The girl went out with Taiwan after that. Yeah, she did. There we go, Kyle. I thought you guessed that name.

Look up the Taiwan Claxton knockout. I think he lifts you up one more time, doesn't he? It's not worth it. Is it not? No, I'm serious. If it was bad, I would let you guys play it. Okay. Yeah, it doesn't look too bad.

You said it was 7-0 at the end? 8-2. Oh, really? Okay. Nice. So it was a decision. Oh. What's up?

I just wanted to say that when you need to slow down, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment made to chill. It tastes great from Coors Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado. So slow down and celebrate responsibly. That's what I always say. Get Coors Light in the new look, delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart

by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. T-A-K-E. Delicious, refreshing, drink responsibly if you're over 21. And if you're under, don't fucking touch it. Don't you dare touch it. Kyle, will you let Owen pick out your fit tomorrow? Not from my wardrobe. Maybe from his own.

Yeah. Sleep over. I know what I'm wearing. What are you going to wear? I don't know what I'm wearing on my feet. Oh, the Travis Scott. The Travis Scott, yeah. Did you give those back to Owen?

No. He can have them whenever. I think you were wearing them at DJ's this weekend. No. You were. No. I think you were wearing them at DJ's this weekend. No. You were. No. I'll pull up a picture of you wearing them at DJ's. It's a picture. It said waist up. Sass, what's up dude?

What's up? Who you texting? Just making business deals. Nice. Moving big money? Lots of it. Is there any Buffaloes in the United States that you could go visit? Buffalo, New York, Buffalo, Wyoming. Any other Buffaloes? I don't know. I'm assuming there's probably another one.

Buffalo Wild Wings. It's fair to say. Yeah. And one of these days I've got to try to make it back to Great Falls. Yeah, you've got to. It'll be a good video. Frank Homecoming. They're hostile nowadays. get out back to Great Falls. Yeah, you got it. It'll be a good video. Frank Homecoming.

They're hostile nowadays because a lot of Californians and elites, coastal elites are trying to move there to escape. They don't like that. John Mayer went out there. Haven't they figured out

that the reason why California sucks is because of them and they're going to make everyone else suck? Yeah. I mean... They're fucking up Boise too.

That's a lot of buffaloes. Wow, a lot more buffaloes than I expected. Whole herd. What's the most common? Springfield? Huh. Springfield or Franklin? Buffalo, Alabama?

Why don't you go to every single one, Frank? A buffalo road trip. Now, that's an idea. That's content. That is content. Now would you go to a Buffalo Wild Wings in Buffalo? Let's not push it. Let's not be crazy.

Home of the wing. Yeah? You know, I've never actually been to a Buffalo Wild Wings. Really? Yep. You know what? Why don't we cater? Why don't we have Buffalo Wild Wings tomorrow

For KB's date? Sounds good to me I'll be looking for houses You'll be looking for houses? Yes Where at? New Jersey I mean hopefully

My realtor finally comes true for me I mean what's going on with him I mean I don't know Who? My realtor I'm stuck still looking I haven't even come close. Every time he sends me places that are in Zillow, and I say, oh, these look good.

And he goes, oh, well, too bad. They're already sold. Well, here's another place. It's over your price range, and there's no central air conditioning. But central air conditioning is overrated. So you're sending houses to your realtor? The windows might be a little too small for an air conditioner, but we could have...

You just take the hand like this on your mortgage. That's going to be more effective than you expected. Sass, were the wings good? I didn't have any wings in Buffalo. Really? I had pizza. Pizza was really good. What's Buffalo-style pizza?

Rome was right. It's just thicker. It's was right. It's just thicker. It's very thick. It's like Chicago style pizza, but it's not like... What? Is it square? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Triangle.

Square. Or no, triangle, triangle, triangle. Gotcha. I think it's tricky sometimes. They taught that in the sophomore year of college. That's a sophomore year thing. No, it was. The pizza was good, though.

You dropped out at the rhombus chapter. We weren't there for long. We were there for less than a day. We got there at like 5, 4, 5, and we were gone by like 11 a.m. That is... S is edges to them. I mean, doing an S, there's never been a straight line. He was like, can you sign the top of my hat?

And he turns his hat over and it's all like sweaty. So I was like, I don't want to touch that. Were there other autographs on the hat? On the front. There's the back. And I was like, I don't want to touch this hat. So I just like did my best I could and it sucked. Well, you could have signed it at Little Sass.

I mean, come on. Yeah. I mean, come on. Or just Harry. Yeah. Just Harry. I haven't really thought about my signature for that. I was, come on. Or just Harry. Yeah. Just Harry. I haven't really thought about my signature for that. I was about to sign my actual signature.

That was my instinct. You got to start thinking about that now. Yeah. You got to start practicing. Right now. That was my first instinct was just. Did you tell him it was going to be worth something one day? I did.

I said, save that. Frame that. But yeah, it was fun. It was cool. Frank, what do you sign? I sign anything

anyone gives me. What do you sign? Frank Fleming? It depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I'll sign Frank the Tank. What mood are you in

right now? Fleming. Right now it's hyphen F. Today it's just F. I always try to put a a little message in there Yeah That is good Are they positive or negative messages?

Depends on the mood you're in Do you ever just rip into something? Kill yourself There are people that actually say To tell me to put negative messages on there Do it coward coward-F. Take your life. Love always, friend.

You know, they had that ridiculous thing called the vessel, right? Yeah. You sign autographs with the vessel? And by that vessel, they have that – I don't know if you've ever been to the Hudson Yards subway station. Of course. They have that escalator that goes up that takes – I actually recorded it and I put it up last week. It takes 90 seconds to go up the escalator. Is that short or long?

No, it's very long. It's that long and steep. Jeez. Didn't they close – the vessel's closed, right? Times Square is closed right now. Bomb threat. No way. Really? That's our long and steep. Jeez, didn't they close? The vessel's closed, right? Times Square's closed right now. Bomb threat. No way, really? Nice, that's our corner.

Yeah, glad to be back in the city. Yeah, feels good to be back. Is that really? Yeah. As of when? My mom texts me. She said, are you in Times Square? I'm like...

No, Mom. Not yet. Stupid bitch. I hate her. That's dumb, yeah. But anyway, yeah. Not yet. Stupid bitch. I hate it. It's dumb, yeah. But anyway, yeah, the vessel. And the vessel is by this long escalator. So you go up the long escalator and then you climb the vessel.

I mean, can someone answer me? There's steps, right? You don't know. There is no escalator to the vessel. Why did they even build this? What's the point of this? For people to jump off of? To glorify suicide.

I mean, it literally looks like... Romanticize your suicide. It literally looks like this was built deliberately for suicide. Yeah. Does it? I mean, I know that there's the suicide forest, but this is built deliberately for suicide. I mean, three people did it. No, someone did recently, and it was closed again.

I read about it, and they were like, we really need to rethink this. People are dying to be the fifth. They put up mental health awareness posters at the top, and that was their solution. I could picture that actually now being like the official suicide spot of the Big Apple

they'll have you have to buy tickets to get down there and then they'll have a line okay number 55

do you have any last words to say nope alright do you have a note thank you I'll give the note on to your family

okay dark humor dark dark black okay next I'll give the note on to your family. Okay. Dark. Dark. Dark. Black. Okay, next. Sorry.

You're going to have to jump on the other side. I would like to hope it doesn't get to that point. It's like the top of a water slide. You got to wait. All right, we need to figure out how we're wingmanning for Kyle tomorrow. I'm going to be dead honest. I don't think I need you guys. You don't think? You didn't say a word when she was on the phone.

I did. I'm terrible over phone calls. I need to see physical gestures, facial expressions, pragmatics, body language. Are you going to wear a product in your hair? There was more dominant personalities talking over me. Like who?

I'll redeem myself. How? Snapback. Are you going to wear a snapback tomorrow? No, I'm not doing a snapback. Product?

Product. Haircut. Oh. Haircut. Shave? No. Maybe. And before we end it, just me give me odds give me your pussy odds i'm gonna go with like eight eight out of ten yeah that's how odds work i don't know how the odds work what do you want me to do yeah i'm gonna go 50 over realistically probably 10 units

ebony one in 30 10 units on the double minus? Yeah. Ebony. I have no idea how that works. KB pussy odds. Odds of KB getting laid tomorrow. Easy plus five. Say that again? Odds of KB getting laid tomorrow. Probably like a five. Probably like a five.

I don't know. It depends what you're wearing, too. Because you're not it. Maybe like a five. I could talk to her. Maybe you could get some... One and one. It should be one through ten.

It should be one through ten. None of us know these high-tech gambling terms. A five is like... Because I'm being fair. Five would be 50%. 50%. Yeah, I'm being fair. I got even money.

50%. That's good. All right. I got to say... 50%. That's good. All right. I got to say. I've been falling to that post. The floor is wet enough. I got to say. 50%.

What do you mean lie? That's incredible odds. If you were batting 500, you'd be the greatest of all time. I'll tell you what the odds are. What's the most you ever lost from a coin toss? The odds are slim and none. And slim just left town. Oh, sheesh. Is that a walk-off? No. Is that a walk-off? The odds are slim and none And Slim just left town Oh

Was that a walk off? No I think it's a walk off No That was a self-proclaimed walk off Yeah it was What time is it? Okay

Should we try and go a little longer? Yo he just He doesn't want you to get laid Is that it? I don't think he wants me to be here. Is he jealous or does he want to fuck you? He's been disgusted with us. Why was he so mad?

He was legitimately mad yesterday. Was he mad at me? Why you? Because I wasn't on the dozen? He was like, your performance on the dozen was great. I was like, wow. He said a few snide comments. Wow.

Wow. Okay. Yeah. I don't think do people think I just bailed on the dozen like I told them heads up that I wasn't gonna be able to go

yeah no I mean you didn't have service yeah there was nothing there was literally like if I did it it would just not have worked did you watch no

don't was it bad you guys didn't win I know but it was like 11-6, right? You fucked over Ellen. It was 11-6, but it felt like a lot more than that. I promise you I didn't fuck over Ellen.

No, but if I was there, it would have still been 11-6. That's what I'm saying. He got the brunt of the dozen fans harassment. Let's see how well... I don't know. What is the name of the girl KB's going out with tomorrow? Jess. Jess what?

Ika. Yes. Jessica. Oh, I thought I just heard Jess before. Yeah. All right. KB, what if she's... What if she's ugly?

That did cross my mind. That did cross my mind. What do you... I would legitimately just... Wait. Leave. What? Like, Pat is back in the producer's booth and he just smiled and winked at us. Oh.

Alright, well, we can't say anything because she's coming in tomorrow. She won't be ugly. She's not going to be ugly. Nobody is. Nobody ugly. Nobody is. Nobody is. Nobody is. We all just thought of the same person, right?

Yeah. Yeah, we did. All right. That's the yak. Tomorrow, KB, a speed date. Oh, and you're the gambling guy. Give us the odds. Even money.

And Ruff and Rowdy's coming up. Ruff and Rowdy coming up. Donny Enriquez. Sportsbooks coming into some new states. The least Hispanic Enriquez of all time. Blonde hair, blue eyed. Anus tomorrow. Son of a boy dad Friday.

That's both tomorrow. Fuck. Uh-oh. Competitors. Full plate. Yeah, shit. What else? We got dinner tonight.

I'm going to eat, yeah. Dinner tonight. got dinner tonight I'm gonna eat yeah Dinner tonight Dinner tonight I'm definitely gonna shower I'm gonna piss almost immediately After this ends Alright yeah we have a full slate Of entertainment

And uh I think Big Cat will be back tomorrow Is Willie I think he will He said See you tomorrow Okay Dude that was supposed

to be like a massive surprise only fans to prohibit posting of sexually explicit content wow what well looks like we're going two hours all right okay so we need to get some coffee and clear my schedule. Okay. That's actually crazy. So I have some cancellations. Who is Walter Bloomberg? He writes Bloomberg.

Yeah, that just can't be true. There's no way that's true. Why not? Also, if that is true, we should find whatever is going to do that next. Yeah, Patreon. People were doing that. Weren't people doing Patreon before they were doing OnlyFans? I trust him.

He's a hell of a ratio. He has less followers than Sass. Yeah, but the ratio is better. He's at nothing. He follows 34 people, though. Yeah, that's sick. That does look dope on the profile. Coach Doug's does that.

Does he? Yeah, he follows like 80 people, I think. People, they think the two digits looks fly. Yeah. It does. I'm at four digit following and I'm almost at five, I believe. Five digit following? You follow 10,000 people?

Oh, no, no, no. You're thinking four. I was thinking 1,000. And I'm also actually not even close to 1,000, so I don't know why I said that. How many people do you follow? Like 500. So how are you close to 10,000? I'm not.

I'm so tired. I'm like delusional. You look good. You look good. Yeah, well, I know. I always look good. Yeah. Nah.

I'm the pretty one. I, uh, yeah. Just those lights are brutal. I hate flying so much, and I had to fly three days in a row. Huh. It sucks that you were forced to Wyoming to fly three days in a row. Huh. It sucks that you were forced to Wyoming to hang out with your bros. No, but getting there was a really big pain in the ass. Layovers?

No. When you're a billionaire, are you going to fly private or no? I'm going to start taking the train. Yeah. Was it like a tourist place? Oh, my God, yeah. Look at that. Like, talk to any girls?

Wait, just videos? I'll talk about it later. We're going to talk about it on our podcast. I don't really want to spoil it. Gotcha. Yeah. Because they can't get investors. That's fine.

I will invest. Huh. We should do the Barstool Fund for OnlyFans. Thank you, Dave. Thank you Dave Thank you so much Dave Yep That's the Yak I'm actually gonna start that

I'm gonna start the Barstool Fund For OnlyFans That's a good idea I've just been calling I'm gonna make some calls Definitely It's a good idea That would be so crazy

If I saved OnlyFans Single handedly You'd get sucked What other Reason do people use only fans oh they're like the trip the collect the classic old thing was like only fans posted like an ad and it was like it was like great for premium content for like this and it was like musicians and one of the it was like musicians like podcasts like all the shit and then one of them was just

like magicians and and nowhere on it did it say anything about just like porn everything everything everything is for porn yeah i was i was paying money to watch girls on their nintendo ds draw their titties on picto chat but now everything's ruined have you got are you subscribed to anything on only fans i never have no me and my friends were actually talking about this this week we were like how many uh right now i have let me check right now it's gotta be a tough moment when you're pulling out the credit card to reddit fans when you're pulling out the credit card to sign up that's got to be a low you're like oh yeah this is how like i would only do it if like i knew the person i know i would do it that's the only way I would do it would be if I knew the person personally. See, that's so weird to me.

Because if you go to a strip club and you know the stripper, it sucks. That's different. Yeah, but they don't see you. Yeah, you're right. Like a random Instagram mod, I don't know, you could just watch porn. Right. So I have six active subscriptions right now. So how much a month is that?

So one of them actually was last week. I just could not resist. I had to see what was behind there. I think I paid like $27. Who was it? Give her a bump. What was behind that? Blue.

Fuck. What's her ad? Hold on. This is so funny. Hold on. I couldn't resist. Oh, yeah. Barstool Sports has an OnlyFans. Yeah. Last seen August 2 resist. Oh, yeah. Barstool Sports has an OnlyFans. Yeah.

Last seen August 2nd. That is right. We're live streaming Brandon's colonoscopy on there. Is that where he is right now? Yeah. Oh, shit. No, he's at SummerSlam. Oh.

Believed it. Oh, look at that. It's $6.90 per month. That's funny because of the sex position. I have an exclusive look. Oh, there at that. It's $6.90 per month. That's funny because of the sex position. I have an exclusive look. Oh, there we go. Next door vixen. At next door vixen.

$29 a month. Holy shit. That's a lot. Is it a person or a conglomerate? Yeah, so it's a conglomerate. So it's a couple that brings in like an extra person usually. So how is that different than just free porn? For a thing and all that.

So here's the thing, though. The stuff on YouTube, the stuff on Pornhub and stuff is so fucking, it's so theatrical. It's too well done. I'm going to just put a camera with a tripod there and pound each other kind of guy. And that's the shit that you find on Pornhub. That's all over Pornh other kind of guy. And that's the shit that you find on Reddit. You can definitely find that. That's all over Pornhub now too and Reddit. I mean, not as good as the OnlyFans.

Now, are you going to see how much of this $30 you could get worth in a month or are you going to keep re-upping? I usually try not to re-up. You just get a taste. Yeah, I get a taste that month. They reel you in, I bet. Why don't you just subscribe to Brazzers or something? That's too well done. It's too well done.

But they have millions of videos. Yeah, but that just doesn't do it for me. It's the production. I don't need a drone shot of a girl riding a stooly on the drone shot. Speak for yourself. I wouldn't mind that. Actually, is there any drone porn? I want to see drone porn.

No, because I think there is something like there's a turn on of barely being able to see it. What? Like from a far, far away vantage point. Oh my God, these are hilarious. I'm with you, KB, on that one. Yeah. It's like you're like...

Incredible video of a drone in Sao Paulo catches couple fucking by the pool well that's just creepy yeah oh that's a crime nah I just mean like that's their

the only camera for the porn is the drone flying through their legs dodging nuts yeah it's like going doing circles oh you're getting close to them I thought you meant birds

everyone Donnie did the drone in the office? Were you guys there for that? No, but I got yelled at. Yeah, by Dave. Dave was pissed. Donnie was flying a drone in the office. No, Donnie like put it up, and he was like trying to take it down, and then Dave was like, Donnie, like no drone in the office.

And he was like, all right. And then he couldn't figure out how to land it, and then Dave came back out again and was like, Donnie. And he was like, yep, I'm trying to figure it out. I think Hank almost lost a finger using a drone back in the day. He did. So our first impression of one of our interns,

Nick Fasoli, he was brought on our Rediscovering America Boston trip. And he was our drone guy. And he was like, yeah, I'm pretty experienced flying a drone. He was taking it up off the boat and he just flew it right into his legs and started

bleeding everywhere. Gushing blood. What a fuck bag. He's good at his job. He does know how to fly. There he is. He looks like Mitch Trubisky. I pointed that out. I would have heard so much. He's a good dronesman.

Yeah. Good shots. Credit to him for those aerials. Oh, and by the way, Pornhub, they got rid of their... We're talking cinematography now, you horny fuck. About, I think, a year ago, I think. It was during quarantine. They decided just to clean up the act.

No more amateur. Yeah. So you have to be verified. So that's when I was out. Got rid of a lot of my favorite videos. GDP. I don't re-watch. I'm a big re-watch guy.

You're a big re-watcher? I go back. I mean, if it works. What did they say? I remember the first. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I already know how it ends. I remember the first video I ever finished to completion to.

What was it? Come on, Tits Compilation 48. Was it actually? Swear to God, Christmas Night. That's one of the worst things. I've never watched it. I hate Compilations. I think it was just the first thing on Pornhub.

Compilation. Compilation. I'm done with compilations. Are you? Yeah. What are you on now? Sizzle Reels. I'm back to GIFs. Yeah? Yeah. What are you on now? Sizzle reels. I'm back to GIFs.

Yeah? Yeah. The dude from Breaking Bad, you remember that? He tweeted sex GIFs. Yeah. He must have left that up for dates because it got like 100,000 favorites. Which guy? Walt Jr.?

No. Traitor. I don't know. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. That guy's definitely got a social media guy now Why he hasn't looked for porn in a while No cause like I think it was like

He tweeted a couple funny things like on accident And then like now I think they like hired someone cause now he's like tweeting all the time Yeah he got the high of going viral I remember one of my boys put a Facebook status That was just his ex girlfriend's name Full name and you can like You knew he was trying to search her.

Yikes. Sex GIFs. From 2018. Oh, he left it up. 12.45am. Retweet it. Boost that. Let's boost that. Let's help him out.

Didn't even get 100k likes. Brutal. Sad. I got... didn't even get 100k likes brutal sad sad sad I got no Frank's upset with us for continuing

because we walked off he's like why are you guys still on my program yeah why are you I ended it yeah he's mad at us he just gave us multiple nasty looks

and then these yeah he was like what are you guys doing I think he oh what I don't think he... Oh. What? I don't think he likes when we talk on Thursdays.

Well, in his head, there's a hierarchy and it's Big Cat and him and then Roan and then us. And I'm all the way at the bottom. And I think he's like teeter-tottering way at the bottom. He hates you.

He hates me. He was like, nice seeing you on The Dozen this week. I was like, okay. The five most liked tweets of all time one the death of chadwick boseman um two that's why there should be another option than a life yeah yeah you think someone's who tweeted it chadwick boseman's account his family tweeted it? Chadwick Boseman's account. His family tweeted it. Said what? I don't know.

It was just the sound. The 2X face emoji. Number two is, it's a new day in America, Joe Biden. Three, Barack Obama's tweet about Kobe dying. Four, Andy Milonakis, the one we talked about. Andy Milonakisonakis, the one we talked about. Andy Milonakis? Yeah, the one we talked about. Congratulations to astronauts that left Earth today.

Good choice. That was recently. And number five is just the kissy emoji from BTS. Yeah, BTS. We did this already. And you guys weren't here. We never got the full list. The BTS tweets, every single one of them gets over like five million likes.

What are the most liked Instagram? Is it still like the Kendall Jenner heart flowers? I think it's the egg right the egg is that still the egg yeah i think so that was dumb that was really there's so many copycats out there too i know i was one of them were you really no one is the egg though one is the egg still number two is ariana grande's wedding oh that's i didn't know she was married that's very she just got married what's the rate on uh xxs final post really yeah huh so death is what gets the numbers yeah so why don't we just start tweeting rest in peace like that's okay no from our why don't we tweet rest in rest in peace? Like, that's okay. No, from our...

Why don't we tweet rest in peace KB on the anus? Yeah. Cool. Well, you got to give it like an hour. Yeah. I'm going to piss my pants. You've had a skateboard under you the entire show. Yeah, it's kind of fun to play with.

You have to pop an Ollie to leave. We'll call it a show when you pop an Ollie. Me? Yeah. No, I'll pee myself. All right you pop an Ollie. Me? Yeah. No, I'll pee myself. All right. Kyle Ollie.

Ollie is out. Andy Mack. You're not? All right, that's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do

a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. That's time to talk shop and do a Yankees-Hobbies-yak