The Yak - KB's Trip To The Hospital Proves He Is NOT A Drug Guy | The Yak 8-17-21

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

Pauly D had KB's ass ZOOTEDYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Well, well, well, it's the Yak, And I feel like I'm talking to a ghost. Because at one point yesterday, things were bad for my good friend KB. And I think that this is the best place to be able to tell this story. So we brought on Jeff D. Lowe, who also has intimate knowledge of the story of why KB was not on the Yak yesterday, where he was, and why he was there. So what's up, brother? How you feeling? I feel blessed to be alive.

Because for about two hours, I thought I was a dead man. Did you actually? I thought I was a dying man on the precipice of whatever that chemical, the DMT, releases in your brain. I had that, but it was fully negative. I can't stress enough. And I'm sorry to Jeff. I made a big scene in his car.

Wait, so this is all real. I can't stress enough. This is humiliating. And I've lived my life as a sentient cringe compilation. This was the most embarrassing thing that I've ever done. Dude, so i respect your bravery for being able to come in and talk about this nothing about this is a bit like nothing like i know that you have to like oh nick and kb what do they know this is is this some wacky bit

you guys are working on completely real no no and uh i i'm dead serious when i say like i applaud your uh your just ability to come in and talk about this. Because sometimes when something really embarrassing comes to me or happens to me, traumatic happens to me, I'll just be like, you know what? This is not for the Barstool audience's consumption. Like, I'm just going to take this L internally and, like, I'll think about it a lot myself. And I'll feel bad about it personally. But it's not an offering for everybody else. So the fact that you're about to make this public fodder is generous.

Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome to everyone, and thank you for all the outpouring of messages, text messages, asking if I'm okay, what happened. What were people's thoughts? I never gave them the right answer. I just couldn't deal with that. I couldn't deal with that.

Why were you even answering people? Out of respect for you, I leaned in very quietly and told Roan yesterday. Because I was like, he has to know. No, friends and family. Because all they know was I was in the emergency room for some reason. All right. See you, BMOC. And that reason being?

Oh, I need a height off with him. He's out. So we'll catch you next time. That would be a W that I could use right now. Yeah, you need that bounce back height off. But your hat right now is from DJs, and maybe the story should start there. Owen's in this bitch right now. Owen's in the mix right now.

Owen also very much involved yesterday. Owen's wearing a shirt about a book. Never read it. It's impossible to... Do books have merch? A fucking book shirt. He's got a read. Do books have merch? Yes. A fucking book shirt wearing an ass. A book shirt.

Just fucking caught him in the rye. But that's almost an unreadable book because it's in such a deep dialect. It's annoying to read. It's pretentious that they even made that book such Irish drivel. Yeah. But that's not what we're here for today, Owen.

And I'm glad you're here because like Jeff was just saying, Owen had a major part in KB's saga as well. Yep, he came and picked me up. What do you mean picked you up? Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. Okay, I went to the Jersey Shore and had a full Jersey Shore experience. Fun Anthony called in yesterday.

Yes, met him. He was legitimately concerned. Let him down. Fun Anthony is one of my best friends. The fact that we met once and he made sure that I was okay and made it to the Yak and when he saw that I wasn't, he called me, he called you guys. He was bugging out.

Fun Anthony, as advertised, he is a fun man. He is a fun man. He is. He's a fun guy. Did you head to the Jersey Shore fully rested? No. I got no sleep. Went to a Louis the Child concert. And in my sleep deprived stupor, I decided to impulsively train ride to the Jersey Shore

to hang out with Jeff. Now, you can't really. For two days. Can you train to the Jersey Shore? Where does the train take you to the Jersey Shore? Is that an easy train ride? It was annoying. You got off early for some reason.

I did. The train absolutely went straight to Belmar, but you got off early and Ubered. I don't know why I've never seen you get off at the right stop on a train, subway, or anything like that. Whether it's on purpose or not, I get off in the wrong one. I don't like order. I don't like stringent order. You don or not i get off in the wrong one so sometimes it is on purpose i don't like springing over you don't like to get off at

the right stop like you know skipping ahead so you had deprived yourself of sleep and uh water i was dehydrated the only water i consumed was in the pool at the poly d show and that's a lot of there's so much chlorine in that. I just remembered you went in this morning. I forgot. Shirtless? Or did you go in with like your swim shirt on? No, I ripped it off. That's fucking sick.

I mean, that's great body positivity on your part, but you were also dehydrated, so you knew you were probably down a couple pounds. I don't have the toxicology reports back yet. There could have been other factors at play. I still think I may have been poisoned. I've never been poisoned, but I'd imagine being poisoned is what I went through. So this is part of it. This is like a little nod to what actually happened. You actually think that you got poisoned. The long story short, okay, I took an over-the-counter.

Say it. I had an adverse reaction to an over-the-counter weed to Prada. And it subsequently induced a panic attack of the highest degree. Now, I am perceptible to panic attacks. I've been in the emergency room in the past for panic attacks for different reasons. Sometimes it's been as minimal as caffeine. Sometimes it's been for a concussion. This time was the worst.

So you were in the emergency room from a panic attack from an over-the-counter weed product. A product that I've taken several times in the past. I've taken more, a higher dose than I did on that day and never had a problem. It's a product that at best makes you a little tired and it put you in the hospital so i took it at like 2 a.m because i knew i hadn't slept all weekend i knew i needed to sleep so i panicked took that and woke up at seven o'clock to jeff tell him it's ready to go and this is on Monday this is yesterday morning that you woke up yesterday morning

yeah so you tried to induce some sleep after a long day of drinking a Pauly D concert a ton of chlorine in your system endless fist pumping

and what were you drinking that day I may have been concussed from the bass drops from the DJs they're loud that's how loud DJs goes

and the Pauly D show only gave out like jumbo sized vodka vodka Red Bulls. Oh, I do have a picture of the size. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you have to. Once we're putting the cat out of the bag a little bit. It's the largest vodka Red Bull that's ever been made for a human being.

And this isn't the grail, because we learned a little bit from Fun Anthony yesterday about the grail, how you couldn't properly take down the grail because it was almost too much for you. It was almost too much to handle. Email the picture to Zah. Email to Zah. Send the picture to Zah. But just large vodka Red Bulls, which are a particularly anxious drink because not only

are you getting the alcohol with the impending hangover, but you kind of accelerate that anxiety of the hangover with the Red Bull. It kind of super launches you into the anxiety of a hangover, but you kind of accelerate that anxiety of the hangover with the Red Bull. It kind of super launches you into the anxiety of a hangover. We were out the day before. Saturday? Yeah. Doing what? Swam a lot. Oh, you swam for two hours, too.

Oh, she takes it out of you. What I was feeling wasn't anxiety or sleep. I was dying. I was out of my head. It definitely didn't help. I had an out-of-body experience. I was hot. I wasn't warm.

I was hot. I was scolding hot. I was spasming. Scolding hot? Head to toe. And I was in Jeff's car, and I couldn't even speak. I was only speaking in interjections and onomatopoeia. Words.

A lot of guttural. A lot of fuck. A lot of guttural. A lot of, fuck. A lot of that. Very dying fucks. Well, in my head, I'm like, this is either a stroke, a heart attack, or some type of aneurysm. Where were you feeling it? Everywhere.

In your head? Was it achy body? Was it your organs? I couldn't even, Jeff may as well have been speaking in tongues. You couldn't understand him? I saw God. He was wearing an express v-neck and he was brusque and unforgiving.

It slowly just got worse. Was he ripped? Lumpy? He was a little lumpy. He did not want me around him. God's a dickhead? God's sensitive about his personal yeah so i thought i was for sure dying and i'm like i was probably rude to jeff i was like get me to a

hospital now i he wasn't about it no i well i wasn't about it initially because as we've and we'll use the word like you paying a large er bill because you're too zooted just didn't seem like the best way to start out a Monday. And I was more concerned that you were going to have to pay a big hefty ER bill. Because you were so fucking zooted. You've never been in the trenches of looming death like me. I didn't care about a bill. Does he have the –

I've gotten zooted before though. That is the vodka Red Bull. And that's to scale. He's standing right next to it in the background. Yeah, that is, yeah. It was big. Honestly, it actually doesn't make it look that massive. It was a lot.

Is that East Bar or West Bar? No, that's not DJs. That's Oasis. So you could take that into the pool, basically. That's the reason for that. And there were some shots where, yeah, we don't have to get into that part, but it was, he drank, and it was hot out. And you swam.

You went to the ocean and the pool. And then what did Pauly do? He lasagned one of our homies. He was Pauly, took a page out of Aoki's book and threw a lasagna that hit one of our boys. Wait, a full tray of a lasagna, like a sheet cake? See, Aoki does a cake. Pauly D lasagnas somebody.

He's right. Scalding hot, too. It's just shaking. Yeah. He's not a creep. He just throws lasagnas at people. That's just Pauly D. He's just that Italian.

DJs was later in the day. Okay. We saw Fun Ant. On Sunday? Yeah. So back-to-back days of DJs? Back-to-back. Doubleheader, yeah.

I mean, did you actually... Wait, so So back-to-back days of DJs? Back-to-back, doubleheader, yeah. How mean. Did you actually, wait, so sidebar, did you roll up to DJs with a bunch of DJs gear on? I did, yeah. I love wearing merch to the event, though. That is the merch. Actually, the shirt, what did the shirt say? The shirt said something about loose women. You had a Louis the Child baseball jersey.

I did. That you wore to the Louis the Child concert? That actually might be more embarrassing than having a panic attack and being hospitalized on fake weed. The shirt was from Cowboy Night at DJ's and it said, beware pickpockets and loose women. The boys in there love that one. DJ's Saloon. Fun Anthony basically broke character when you stepped up on stage with merch that he had handed out to other people days before. He was like, this is amazing.

He goes, this is amazing. Really? He's like, I can't believe he's wearing DJ's merch. And that probably accelerated them wanting to get you fucked up. They're like, oh, this guy's already laced out. We need to show him a good time. He has a preconceived notion of what DJ's is he has the plaid on already he has the loose women shirt let's get him fucked up and they did it may have been like late on said ghb i don't know but i

think i got drugged or poisoned or both that i sensations i was experiencing weren't from any legal product that's for sure i've felt like i've got poison before i felt i felt like that on bourbon street one time uh like i went to a strip club on bourbon street and was like curled up like a cashew next to my fucking toilet just throwing up like feeling like i was gonna die like i felt death on me okay and i don't feel like i could have drank that much but it but it happened that night it happened like live in the flesh there was no incubation period for my early onset death that uh obviously you went through so what was it like from your perspective though jeff like you're driving what how how did not have done that i

did see the thing out in the living room i i said okay i guess he's like I guess he took it last night and then he went in he went in the car at like 7 10 7 15 and started he's like he's like man he goes I'm like really tired like kind of feeling it so we're driving a little longer driving a little longer and then he's like man I I just think this is I feel like something's not okay here. You want it to pull over for combos? Something's off. And then I said I want to pull over what? You want it to pull over for combos? Oh, yeah.

I was like, do you want to eat something? Do you want to, like, I don't know, like nap? Like, do we stop driving? But he could have napped. You were still responding about things. Like, you were joking about stuff. I wasn't. I think I was just letting out. No, you were. You were replying to me. Okay. You were still responding about things. You were joking about stuff. I wasn't. I think I was just letting out.

No, you were. You were replying to me. Okay. You were responding to me. And then we get halfway through, and that's when you said, I need to see medical. I need medical attention. I need to see medical attention.

So were you about to pull off on a Jersey Shore medical spot or something like that? When you hit that certain part of the drive back from the shore, you... There's nothing. There's nothing. It's the Newark airport. Right. Can't do that. It's an Ikea.

I need to fly to... It's an Ikea not open. Right. Closed toys are up. Doors have been shuttered for two years. Yes. So there's no option. And then the next closest option, you could veer off and go to downtown Newark.

Wasn't going to do that. I'd been to an ER. The bricks? You didn't want to hit Brick City up? Their ER is probably incredible. When I saw the GPS and I saw the time that wasn't going down, that's when the panic attack kicked in. When I have panic attacks, I have panic attacks. I hyperventilate fully. And that's when I started attack kicked in. When I have panic attacks, I have panic attacks. I lose, I hyperventilate fully. And that's when I started losing control of my breathing.

And that's when I started losing control of my consciousness. And that's when I thought this is death. Yeah, I had been to an ER in Hoboken when I cut my finger open after trying to cut open a Haagen-Dazs down the middle with a knife back in 2014. So I have been to that ER. So I knew where to go. The Hoboken one.

Yeah, which I'm sure there might have been a closer one. What was it, Neapolitan? Or you wanted equal flavors? It was definitely chocolate, chocolate chip. Okay. It was too frozen. Actually, I'd just been fired from Major League Baseball, and I needed an ice cream.

You were trying to binge, but you couldn't eat it with a spoon? You wanted to eat it like a loaf of bread? Yeah, the Hoboken little side store, they keep their freezer way too cold. And so I tried to slice it open, the serrated edge, and I sliced my eye. That should be on them. Almost cut my finger off. That's not on you. There shouldn't be liability on you for that.

But he was freaking out. So much so that he almost opened my car door on the Garden State Parkway. In my head, if I left the car and started freaking out on the side of the road, I would get to the hospital faster. You continuously... Because there are those fucking jug handles in Jersey. Oh, it's all jug handles. The time was, the ETA was going up. The ETA was absolutely not shrinking.

I got to escape this car. The closer we got to Manhattan, the longer the Google Maps said it was taking. And I was paralyzed. It may have been the placebo effect, but I convinced myself I was paralyzed. Crawled into the hospital wing. But you tried to tuck and roll out of the car, though? You tried to escape from a moving car?

And when I saw the staff's groans and sighs, that actually made me feel better. I was like, oh, this isn't as serious as I thought. Yeah, they were not very pleased. They hated me. They were disgusted. After he would put the seat down to try to sleep, then immediately unbuckle,

and it would look like he was trying to escape my car. What was your point where you realized, oh, this is real. I'm going to have to deal with this rather than just, I'm going to get him home and get it out of my hands. Well, say there was a freak thing, and say someone did drug him the night before. Like, yeah, I wouldn't love that on my conscience knowing like I dropped them off in Manhattan.

He's like died. Yeah, that would have been a real like if someone had actually poisoned him or something. He's calling for help. And that would have been on me. Probably. I'm the guy to poison, too. I play hard to get in social situations. You pick up other people's drinks. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're you're poisonable, probably. I'm the guy to poison, too. I play hard to get in social situations. You pick up other people's drinks. I need drug to poison.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And you're poisonable, too. Unattainable to some people. Also, when I rerouted our trip, it took us in no less like, you know, a good Jersey roundabout to get up to the highway. The jug handle.

The jug handle. Yeah, the jug. We can't turn left. It had to have been how many? 10, 15? It was a lot in a row. You're to have been how many? 10, 15? You're just in loop-de-loop, loop-de-de-loop after loop-de-de-loop. He's hanging on like this.

And then I said we're almost there, which was bad timing. You should never say that, really. Because now I know he was looking at the time. You can't really say that. And we popped out onto the bridge that you're not even clearly near Jersey City yet. And that's when you're like, no, no, this is it. This is it. i at this point i texted owen and nick i was like i do have to eventually drop this car off and hadn't like get into work and i'm pretty sure he's like okay but someone needs to just be there when he wakes

up and is unzooted um and that was owen yeah and it was owen but they were also very furious when we got there they were how did the impacts how did the uh like did you did you walk yourself in under your own power under your own strength or were you like and walked i was limping yeah in your you had slide slides on he like stumbled out of my car he said he actually as you're getting out of the car you look to me you said i'm not sure i can walk but you gave it your all and you did it with with no real issue you got in there because i wasn't there was nothing wrong with me i was on i was on something that mellows you to sleep you stumbled in i walked in they were trying to put him in a wheelchair um he wouldn't sit down the the the nurse looked at me and angrily said he's stiff as a board like he wouldn't bend that's one of my things i'm always he wouldn't like

bend his body into a sitting position what uh what did you tell them i mumbled a bunch of stuff i i think i i'm scared i'm you kept clearly used the poison word i was convinced i was poisoned he said i've been poisoned fuck and then fuck this is not good over and over as you're handing and i'll tell you what i really wanted to just like ask them where they just wanted nothing to do with us really at all and i mean they did their jobs but they were like you're it was a clear look of like we can tell you're wasting our time. That's exactly what it felt like. And then they tried to get him through the door.

But his foot was out of like, you know, like the little foot flaps on a wheelchair. You're dragging one foot. He was. Yeah, he had one foot out of it. Like an obstinate octogenarian. And the way I was going to say. And remember, he's stiff as a board. He's not moving.

And so the way his foot is on the side, the flap was there. They couldn't physically put the wheelchair through the door. So like ramming him through the door. And then finally, like they picked him up. And I said, like, and they just didn't reply to me. And that was that. And what did they check on you? Did they check like your heartbeat?

Did they check like you're stabbing the fuck out of me? I was like, I'm hard to draw blood. My veins are tight. Right. So they tried like 10 different spots. And probably your opiate receptors have been so fucking overwhelmed that. No. No.

That was the thing. It was just alcohol this weekend. Really? Mm-hmm. And whatever OTC. Chlorine water. Chlorine water. Sea salt.

I mean, the waves were salty this weekend. The thing is, I took it at like 1 a.m. And they changed the red. I don't know. 1 a.m.? Yeah. Or 3.30 a.m.? You're not a big eater either.

That definitely doesn't help. I was trying to take his shirt off at fucking Pauly D. You can't be a big eater if you're taking your shirt off at Pauly D. You're trying to be slim. For some people, it's still trimming season. It's not bulking season yet. And obviously, you're trying to take advantage of the fact it's not bulking season yet.

So how did you get better at the hospital? And when did Owen show up? When did Owen get there? They gave me some type of drug that really put me to sleep. What'd they give you? I didn't ask. Injected it into my arm. Oh, really?

Yeah. And they just zonked you out? They must have really nuked you were down for a while i was down sedated um i'll defend kyle though i think i got there around 902 um i don't think you were the most annoying person in that er that day oh the er is that was the most annoying ER in the world. Yeah. So where you were like, oh, they're like annoying. I don't. On the totem pole, you were fine. Yeah. There was a lot worse people.

This is just a, it's just a hilarious image. There was somebody with their hands sliced open with a crossing guard. Wait, what do you mean with a crossing guard? Their hands sliced open and they were being helped in by a crossing guard. No way. A first responder? Was that person in there? No.

The first person I saw was, he was probably in his 40s, and he came in screaming about how he gets kidney stones all the time, but this week's were different. See, that's what would do it. Anything that strays from the deviation, especially sensations from drugs, I freak out. Yeah. Unlike anything I've ever felt. He said this week he was pissing and coughing blood, and that's why he had his stepfather drop him off that morning. But, KB, isn't that kind of the point of drugs, though?

Like, isn't that, like, to change how you feel? Like, isn't that almost the desired effect? Yeah. See, like, I've done that product, and I've've done weed and i've done way too much and and i was like this kind of sucks but i know i had the wherewithal to know it'll fade this was different you didn't feel like it was ever going to be over this was death or like no i thought it was gonna be over yeah i think you being overly tired played a major factor i don't know i'm not a sleep scientist psychological my non. That's my non-medical guess.

And you hyperventilated? It was probably your body just trying to shut off. It was like, we're going to shut this thing down for a little bit. You weren't sweating at all, I will say that. I was dry, and that scared me even more. They say you get cold and smooth. Were you feeling smooth? I felt smooth.

I was touching my forehead. Like some Skippy? It felt like a marble. I was like a marble i was like oh no oh no this is it for me because your body is usually probably sweating to cool itself down and maybe you were like losing the mechanisms to cool your body down i don't know i'm just trying to figure it out and troubleshoot i don't know and so you got out of the out of the clink you You were in there from... They finally released you. You were on your own recognizance. What time did you get out of there?

Around 1? 140. 140. So 9 to 1, a nice nap. You paid like three grand to nap in the hospital. We'll see what the bill says. I might have to sue for malpractice because I don't think they tested for all the poisons. They did not let me sleep. No arsenic testing? No hemlock test? No, I wanted them to run the gam tested for all the poisons. They did not let me sleep.

No arsenic testing? No hemlock test? No, I wanted them to run the gamut on all the poisons. I think I got bit by an asp, doctor. I got briefly kicked out for laying horizontal. You did? Yeah. Briefly kicked out.

What, did you curl up in bed with him? No. I was just, there was, the seats were in intervals of two, so I just kind of leaned over and laid across two of them. And then the security guard shook me. He's like, you can't be here. And I was like, I'm waiting for someone. He's like, sit up straight.

Damn, what is this, middle school? Isn't that like a trope of emergency rooms? The people sleeping there for hours as they wait for their... Every movie has it. Yeah. Or is that like a delivery room for room for no i think it's in uh what movie was it where there's like a big the hate you give or something there's like a big car crash at the end and they all like wait and they all sleep in the waiting room or something that's a very normal yeah you should have been able to do that there's

probably people who are just at that particular hospital just try to sleep there though yeah people take advantage of that trope and they just try and treat it like their own bed and breakfast yeah people there had to have been probably multiple easier ers to get to but at that point i was like i mean you go to the one you know i'm a rather high strung individual myself yeah so i was i was really i had no advice but breathe i was like i was having my own version of a panic attack. Yeah, his panic attack is probably giving you a panic attack. Well, I think that's it. Yeah, that's it, basically. I'm going to make my L and I'll lie in it, too.

But that's it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. We don't have to talk about it anymore. There's a lot of other shit going on. The phone lines are packed. The other guy I saw will make you feel better as well. I told you about him. He crawled in, and then they put him over a wheelchair,

but his back was like over the two arms of the wheelchair, so he was just like laying over it. Well, he took fentanyl and should have been in the hospital. Again, I took an over-the-counter relaxation brownie. He was moaning as loud as he could for maybe an hour, and then eventually started burping and puking on himself, and I swear to God he could for maybe an hour. Then eventually he started burping and puking on himself. I swear to God, he looked up and looked me in the eyes and apologized

for not wearing a mask. He did? Yeah. Oh my God. That's a nice man. Good guy. You're breathing in the toxic fumes of his vomit. He's apologetic about the masks. He's messing himself like a baby. Unbelievable. ER is tough. I mean, hospitals are just like an amalgamation of the people who are going through the worst shit in their lifetime.

Like everybody's going to be in a badass fucking mood. Like everybody's going to be treating nurses terribly or orderlies very badly. Like there's no one super respectful as they go in with a broken arm or a fucking heart attack. Should we get into that then? What do you think this really was? What? No No I'm kidding No that was very brave of you To tell that story

And we can put it all behind us And I'm sure nobody Will ever have any Jokes about this And nobody Is not going to replace The cocaine and Vegas story They actually know

What I went through They would have to respect Mentally They're not going to I'm confident that people Won't try to joke out of I know that Nick will of such a traumatic experience. Yeah, he already did.

He sent me a weed leaf picture and then said, are you scared? You scared? You know who will defend you no matter what? Fun Anthony. Yeah, thank God for him. Yeah, Fun Anthony's the GOAT. I'm surprised he didn't visit you while you were laid up. He does have a package of merch for us.

He says, yeah. You came with some balloons? He did. He does have a box of merch for us. He says, yeah. He came with some balloons. He does have a box of merch for us. Of DJ's merch? A goodie bag, yep. I hope it's that plaid hat because that plaid is incredible. I used to have shorts that were in that same pattern. That was like an 08 thing.

Yeah. Was it 08? I had that in high school. It went through the... Plaid shorts is a big high school thing. Yeah. Was it 08? I had that in high school. It went through the... Plaid shorts is a big high school thing. American Eagle was pumping out plaid shorts. And they worked. That plaid, you have like a light

blue shirt with a matching v-neck. Pastel shirt, maybe two of them on top of each other and then the light blue. Remember how puffy the collars of Henleys were from Hollister? Yeah, the big ass collars. They stuck out three inches. I didn't really have the nipples for Henleys. No,ister? Yeah, the big-ass collars. They stuck out three inches. I don't really have the nipples for Henley's.

No, you didn't. Did you know someone who would double collar up? Oh, yeah. There were two collared shirts. Everybody. Everybody. I didn't. You didn't, Jeff?

No, I couldn't pull that off. Did you try to pull it off? You're like, oh, not for me. That seems so thick. You pair it with a puka? No. Never rocked it? I couldn't do that. No?

I feel like you could have. No, we had one. I had a kid in high school who had three of them once. Not you, him. No. Why? You did it, but he could. You're not a puka?

No, no. Never once? I don't think I've ever seen you wear a collared shirt. Not for a video. No, I would never wear a collared shirt. I think they just look, they never look cool. They never look good. They never look stylish.

You have the biggest watchdogs on the internet. People will like send a picture of you in a collared shirt. Someone will dig one up and find one. Maybe even you making out with the crossing guard was a, speaking of crossing guard, you making out with the crossing guard might have been in a collared shirt. No, that was a RVCA shirt. Oh, okay. Camo, black and camo.

You could see where I'd make that mistake. Yeah. You could see where I'd fumble that one. Damn. Are you ever going to go back to the beach? I had a blast there. That was a one-time thing though. Yeah, you can't be.

I don't think I can go back. Not after all this. Not after the ringer that put you through the absolute fucking i don't want to harp on it though yeah you you you spilled your soul you spilled your guts the stamp from the club on my arm says it says survivor so thank god which i might just tattoo over that because that's what I feel like right now. How was your sleep last night? I didn't wake up. Oh, nice.

Continued consecutively until this morning. How long? Today, it was around 20 hours. Holy shit. Are you serious? You're here quite early, too. Yeah. Your body...

You needed that so badly. Have you heard people say that you can't catch up on sleep? I was about to say that. Because that can't be true. No, you all know. Cause I always try to overcomp or overcorrect and then I get too much and I feel like fatigued. Yeah.

But, but like, I feel like basically what you were doing yesterday was catching up on sleep. Yeah. Yeah. What are they talking about? My health teacher in high school said that. Or maybe they just gave you like,

you can't catch up on sleep. Did they give you any take-home drugs? Did they give you like a goodie bag of drugs? No, they gave me an instructional pamphlet on marijuana use. I definitely believe you. Yeah. It said like reason for stay, marijuana, and a whole pamphlet. They talked so much shit on you.

Oh, yeah. There's no way that it— They were disgusted. Oh, my God, because it's probably close enough. I mean, if you walk down the street out here, like, there's people who are on obvious semi-overdose mode. This three-block radius. Yeah, they're just, like just on the precipice of overdose, and they just handle their shit themselves.

And maybe some of them will have to go to the hospital, but the overdose is so serious that they need Narcan to revive these people. I even charades a full-body spasm, hoping that would make them take it more seriously, and they didn't care. They just... Like somebody who's trying to convince the judge that they're crazy or something like that.

Like, I'm hearing voices or something. The voices in my head told me to do it. I'm getting fucking body spasms. I'm having a seizure. It's like you're trying to prove to the school nurse that you deserve to go home and spend the day with your parents. Something like that.

Which you basically got to do. I'm so glad that you're with us, though. What a... What else? What a journey. Yeah, what else? Let's kick it to this. I'm so glad that you're with us, though. What else? What a journey. Yeah, what else? Let's kick it to this. Power versus Delta 8.

Bro. The Delta 8. It's going to be the Supreme Court case. Dude, remember when... No, no. Who was it that came up to me and asked? Oh, Gage. Gage.

That was like day three for him. That was day one for him. Day one? So is that Delta 8's as serious as they say i gotta ask i gotta ask you're like expecting a battle rap question expert on that field it's uh it's kind of corny uh like i don't know it's fun it's fun to enjoy weed but making weed your personality obviously has like it's downfalls and i i try not to do to make it my personality though i do do it all the fucking time something you say love to fucking do

it something you say that i think is cool is flower but i don't think it's cool when anybody else says it uh i don't think slang for weed yeah no no that's uh as opposed to like a pen what do you mean like you roll up weed or you smoke it out of like people who are vaping weed or smoking a little weed pen or putting it into a tincture or some shit like that that's see do you see how his reaction is already made uh immediately uncool? I have PTSD from all we've talked. A guy who just got his ass beat. Michael Spinks against Mike Tyson just got fucking obliterated in the first round by an OTC. I got my ass beat by my grandma's auxiliary sleep aid.

When her melatonin runs out, that killed. That's what took me out. What letter are they up to in Because We Got Hot? Do a KB? They should do a KB. They're on the second go-round. You know that, right? They lose the round, yep.

Yes. Went back for more. I think that they should break it up, though. I think that they, I mean, I... There was one where they were roasting men's fits in the office oh yeah oh and they fucking they start to roast you and then by the end they were objectifying you they were treating you like a dildo on the countertop it's like oh and i i love your mustache and they did like your mustache who and they roasted your fit too jeff d lowe i did have the wrong my shoes didn't match that day

fuck them let's say that's i walked into it i said that day too i knew i said i'm i don't want to wear the laced up shoes i'll wear the slip-ons i said they don't match no one will care and for the first time in my four years here i got brought in about having my fit roasted. Yeah, that day I had a rugby shirt I had thrifted, and I cut it up in the morning because I didn't have any laundry, and then I wore it and then went on. It was good. Let's get some people in here. We need more Ls.

Yeah, let's roast some fits. Let's roast some people's fits. You want to gather some people, Owen? Yeah. How many, 12 to 15? Yeah, that's almost perfect. That'd be good. Yeah, 12 to 15.

Or you could do it in increments as well. But I feel like it'll just kind of... Or should I just grab Beeman? Definitely get Beeman. I don't want to deal with Beeman right now. No Demon Beemans today. Or Beeman Demons. Fuck, I fucked it up myself.

The fucking Beeman Deacons. We can't deal with it right now. It'll be nice to get the attention off of KB. Yes, please. You'll be able to kind of flex your muscles a little bit. Instead of being the punching bag, you can do a little bit of punching down. I would love to. Because social status-wise, it will be punching down for you.

But at the same time, you can use it right now. Yeah. You could definitely use a little bit of a punch down. You going to take this weekend off? Oh, yes. Yes. People are already asking me to do things, and I'm not. Do you believe them?

I'm not going to do the full detox thing because I don't think that helps. I'm just going to keep it chill. Do you live alone? I do. How's your apartment holding up? It's good. It has like a tropical theme to it. Really?

Like the pineapple suite? Yeah, it looks like a waiting room in Ibiza. Jack, what's up, brother? What's going on, my brother? Yo, Big T, we got Big T in the spot. What's up, brother? Did you guys... What letter are you guys on because we got high?

I, so infidelity, insurrection, and ISIS. Well, insurrection. We could talk insurrection if that's where you are right now mentally. I can already tell my good friend Big T's appearance here. This is sort of a fiery exit. I can just – Oh, yeah. He knows it too.

He knows it too. There's going to be some sort of – fireworks will happen as he exits this room during this show. What is this? I'm actually – I'm calling an audible right now. Because we got high, I set the precedent of roasting fits. But today I want to uplift both of your outfits. Can I do that? Yeah.

Big T, you're wearing four pieces of Nike clothing. The amount that is matching – Under Armour. Under Armour shorts. But you have four pieces of Nike clothing. The amount that it's matching. Under armor. But you have four pieces of Nike clothing. That is very nice preparation and the fact that you had that brand loyalty through thread and it all matches very well.

Tell them how many Nike Elite socks you used to have. I mean in middle school probably I don't know three dozen maybe. I i was i was a king yeah you were yeah how the mighty have fallen now how many pairs you have just two dozen zero damn that's too sorry that had to have been some type of natural disaster like a fire you don't lose that many they weren't cool anymore, you know? Maybe an edible?

Yeah, maybe. And Jack, I'm enjoying both your shoes and your chain. Thank you. Hell yes. How many days have you been in the chain game? This is the fifth. Hell yes, bro. Same here.

I recently joined. Yeah. A little bit of weight to the neck. A little bit of weight to the neck. Never hurt anybody. Distracts from my double chin, yes. A little bit. I need weight to my wrist, so I got the silly bands on.

I took a couple photos this weekend where I had a George Lucas chin going. It was tough. Oh, really? It was tough. Dude, but that's great self-awareness. Sci-fi chin? No, you've never seen George Lucas' chin? I don't think I've ever looked at him.

Really? Is he in any of his films? No, he's like Shyamalan. He's like Stan Lee. Why would I look at him? He played a Wookiee in any of his films? No, he's like Shyamalan. He's like Stan Lee. Why would I look at him? He played a Wookiee in one of the films. Like Tarantino. Yeah, he loves to jam himself in.

He had to play a creature. And Tarantino's the worst actor, too. Cal is everybody else's awesome actors, and he's just terrible. And Tommy, I'm really enjoying your short length. Really? Thank you. Are those chiclet shorts? Stand up. Give us a walk back and forth.

I thought they were not a big deal shorts. Very nice. Big T, what do you think of his outfit? I think he looks fantastic. I think he does too. I think that I appreciate that. I think you're not afraid to wear all black and people from other places than New York might roast a black fit or a black

and white fit, but we have no problem with it. No, I only dress in very plain and bland colors and usually uniform. This dude's got a good fit. Neutrals. Ah, yes, sir. Blat? Oh, no, that's Alan.

He works on the merch team. He always has a good fit. All right, Alan. He dresses well. Hell, yes. He could probably do about 40 push-ups in a row would be my guess if I had to guess on Alan. Anybody else want to big up the other people that are brought in? Tommy, do you have anything nice to say about Jack or Big T's outfits?

Yeah, Jack started wearing a jean. I like it. I like his shoes. You know, the pure white shoes with the jeans is always a nice combo. Pure white with the jeans. I mean, he represents Tennessee more than anyone in the world. Thank you, Tommy. Exactly.

I feel like that's just a great baseline to have. Is this okay with you, KB? I love it, yeah. Because I know we came in with a roasting mindset. Well, I kind of want to bring somebody down. Okay, who do you want to bring down. I feel like that's just a great baseline to have. Is this okay with you, KB? Because I know we came in with a roasting mindset. I kind of want to bring somebody down. Okay, who do you

want to bring down? I don't know. You just have to pick one. I don't want to bring any of them down. Yeah, none of you

guys deserve to be brought down. Do you want me to go find someone that KB can bring I don't know. I don't even think I have it in me

to do it myself. Because you're down that badly? I think that uplifting other people is a good way to make your esteem better.

What about F Fastuli? Fuck that. That fuckbag Fastuli. He better not come within any radius of this room. All right, get Fastuli in here. Do not get Fastuli in here. That mudslide drinking buffoon. Mudslides?

Get him. That's all he drinks. We go out getting beers with the boys for Rediscovering America. He's especially ordering a mudslide. A mudslide? How many mudslides would he have in Mudslides? Get him. That's all he drinks. We go out getting beers with the boys for Rediscovering America. He's especially ordering a mudslide. A mudslide? How many mudslides would he have in Mudslide? Yeah, well, he would slowly savor it, too.

Unbelievable. Fastouli came up to me yesterday and was like, oh. Fastouli, take a seat in Tommy's seat. How many days have you been wearing your chain, Fastouli? Don't worry. We don't need the door to be closed. Yeah, that's not something we do. My bad, Joe. How many days have you been wearing your chain, Fastouli? Don't worry. We don't need the door to be closed. You don't do it. Yeah, that's not something we do.

My bad, Joe. How many days? Since I was like... Two, three, four. Okay, so that's probably a couple thousand days. Yeah. Do you drink fucking mudslides, Fastouli? That's all you do.

Yeah, he does. Yeah? Yeah, you do. He has an aversion to hops. Do you know how hard that is on a bartender? Into the mic for Stoolheavy. Talking to that mic, motherfucker. How hard it is for a bartender?

Yeah, dude. That's just putting extra work on their plate when they just want to be pouring beers and fucking chefing up vodka sodas. Not a beer guy, but Coors Light. We're at real grimy dive bars in, like, whatever, northern Michigan. He's asking for the secret menu mudslide. It doesn't exist. Unbelievable. Get his ass Big T. I don't

know anything about this. I don't know what a mudslide is. Yes. A mudslide is exactly like an ice drink with Kahlua rum and chocolate. Milkshake. Chocolate? What do you mean chocolate? Like the whole point of a mudslide is like it's mud. So it's like chocolate. So what do you BYOM? Do they the whole point of Mudslide is, like, it's mud. So it's like chocolate and, like... So what, do you BYOM?

Or do they just have a Hershey's bar waiting for you? No, they actually didn't have it in Michigan, so I had to go with High Noon. Oh, okay. Nice company guy. Speaking of company guys who use the product to the fullest... Yeah, you do. When are you getting some tattoos, Vastuli? I have three tattoos, actually.

When are you getting some more tattoos? Hopefully soon. What do you think about the way the tattoo culture is shifting to have only visible job killer tattoos rather than back in the day when our grandfathers used to have them tucked underneath their shirts and stuff like that? I mean, all mine are tucked right now, but it has changed. I mean, it's art. Do you have the job security, do you feel, that you're never going to have to be a bank teller or anything like that. I mean, all mine are tucked right now, but it has changed. I mean, it's art. Do you have the job security, do you feel, that you're never going to have to be a bank teller

or anything like that to get a hand tattoo or something on your neck? No, a hand tattoo is actually pretty cool, I think. Lips, like you can make them talk or something? No, not for me. I don't think I can pull off a hand tattoo. Would you jerk off goofy style like that? Yeah, you'd have to.

That's the only way. You could mouth fuck yourself. You could do a mongo, jerk off goofy style like that? Yeah, you'd have to. That's the only way. You could do a mongo, jerk off mongo. Anything else you want to get on him about Big T? No. I don't know. Anybody you want to get on? Because we are freewheeling and roasting since Westulis came in. If we're on it.

Which we are. No, I don't think there's anybody right now. Vips has been particularly libish these days, the last couple of days. Trying to push his agendas. I haven't noticed. He's been pretty loud about it, too.

I'll let Jack speak on that. Wow, so the roasting comes out. No, that wasn't a roast. Jack, anybody else that you want to get on while we have you in here? Or you want to keep the positive vibes going? You have somebody, but you're deciding whether you want to drop this one. There is one.

You have somebody. No, it just annoys me sometimes when 95% of the time Trish's desk is open and someone sits there and then she comes in and does the, oh, it doesn't matter that you're sitting there. I don't care. How'd you know I was going to come in? Let's get Cricket here. Is she in here right now? No, I'd rather not talk to her.

Oh, that's even better. That makes me want her in here even more. Should we get her, Fastuli? I can go grab her for you. No. Yeah, yeah. Don't get her, Fastuli. Do it, do it, do it.

I actually don't. Fastouli, I didn't love that you and Smutledge were just talking about me the whole trip. I wasn't talking about you. They were,

Kyle was in the car. Oh, uh-oh. Wow. Okay, okay. Eric of the Grievances. No, that's, that's speaking down to me. Festivus in July.

I would never let that happen if I heard it. Exactly. Well, you said you guys were talking about my driving. Oh, no. I said I was talking to him about the last trip, and he was telling me about what happened. Yeah, no, this is more on him, not you, so you're good. Wow, Smutlett's throwing you under the bus right after he met a unicorn, too. That's fucking tough, dude.

What did he... Were you driving poorly? Weren't you like... Oh, yeah, I fell asleep on the highway, but... He did. So what? That was the only seat he can fall asleep on. That's not on you.

We gave him the option to lay down in the back. He was like, I can't sleep in the back. I can only sleep behind the wheel. He said that for sure. I can't sleep in passenger seats. Fastuli, how did you wind up on that on that uh project of rediscovering america because that's a pretty legitimate project yeah i'm very blessed to be a part of it but uh it was just because i could shoot in um my drone i've been flying drone for like two years so he is a wizard

on the drone he's a fiend with it too he wants to drone everything and anything really things that aren't necessarily droneable he pulled an illegal move at a national park, which actually made me like you. When I was let go, they said we need drones. So you should have gone to drone school. Have you sharpened up your drone skills? No, I'm not a big drone guy. Who inspired you to...

I think they're kind of shoved into a lot of videos unnecessarily. I asked them this already. To learn how to use a drone. Obama? Wow, let's go. Talk that drone strike talk that syrian shit i need to hear that syrian shit no one laughs off a genocide like fastouli oh man i'm always surprised when i see you i I think that, Fastool, please don't take this the wrong way. I think you could pull off having no teeth.

Yeah, my lips cover my mouth. He has a Trubisky-ass mouth. Oh, you do? Does he not? His nose to chin is very Trubisky-esque. Yeah. I've been getting that a lot on Twitter. Have you really?

A lot. That's a party trick. You just cover up. Look at that. Look, I'm been getting that a lot on Twitter. Have you really? A lot. That's a party trick. You just cover up it. Look at that. Look, I'm Caleb's buddy. Yeah, you could have at Bird Box, you would have been deadly. You could have stunt doubled somebody on Bird Box. Gentlemen, I think that this was constructive, and I appreciate you coming in here.

Any last words? No, thanks for having us, as always. Thank you, boys. I love that. No storm out from Big T. He's leaving under his own power. Big T, I typically give Big T good energy. You do?

That's true. Every now and then he'll go after me and say something. Some people try to instigate Big T. Like now. If I try to run a bit or a gambit with you. Jeff has had a couple bits that are very bad. He has some bad jokes. But 95% of the time, I love Jeff.

And you'll bring up where he used to work. Yeah, he called me lamestream media. Jeff was part of the lamestream media for quite some time. Great story behind the blog. If you haven't heard it, go listen to that. He details it all. But it's really only one bit that's bad. And other than that, you're one of my favorites.

When you accuse him of being prejudiced, does he accuse you of being prejudiced? Because I don't like when people say that you're... No, he doesn't do that. He just has one joke about someone who is no longer with us to defend themselves. May she rest in peace. Jack kind of gets in on it, too.

And it's a bad joke. Princess Diana? It's us to defend themselves. May she rest in peace. Jack kind of gets in on it, too. And it's a bad joke. It's a bad joke. It's closer to his chest. Alright, Blackjack. What does that mean? It's a bad joke. The UConn-Tennessee rivalry may have gone too far. Oh, okay.

A few days. The Apex. The Acme. The Summit. It may have gone a little too far one day. We don't make... No, yeah, we're talking about yeah the apex the acme yeah it's gone a little too it may have gone a little too far one day we don't we don't make weed we don't yeah no yeah work yeah big t you've been expanding your drink portfolio would you try mudslide for us you said it was what chocolate chocolate Kahlua rum and ice basically what is Kahlua like a margarita it tastes like a frosty from Wendy's yeah if you get me something that tastes like a frosty from Wendy's. If you can get me something that tastes like a frosty. Friday? It is damn good.

Should we make mudslide Fridays? Mudslide Friday? There's a time and a place. There's a time that you cannot be ordering mudslides. Yeah, your issue is not that he orders mudslides. It's when he orders. You go to a dive bar and order a mudslide. He was drinking them with me, so I don't know why he's critiquing me.

Oh! Whoa! Whoa! Come on. They're making them. They're making a round of them. Exactly. If they're already making some, I'm not going to make them waste a blender. Big T, thank you.

Fastuli. That's Nate's move. He does Bloody Marys at night. Yeah. That's not my move. But at least a Bloody Mary can come in a mix. Nobody has a pre-made mudslide. Or maybe they do.

TGI Fridays might. Does TGI Fridays have a pre-made mudslide. Or maybe they do. TGI Fridays might. Does TGI Fridays have a pre-made mudslide mix that they sell? I would bet the only bars that have pre-made are Cape Cod or Newport. That's because they're just crushing mudslides out there? Also, you only need one or two mudslides. They're like seven standard drinks. I could see Fastouli thriving on the road with you guys. Has it been a nice time?

He has no weaknesses. The more we shit on him, whether it's physically or verbally, he just laughs. He giggles it off. He's happy-go-lucky. He's the biggest fuckbag. And that's his nickname, right? He does not. It's like Fasoli, right?

His baseline is happy and giggly but i'll also i have noticed that that happens to a lot of people at barstool early on in their tenure and then a couple years in they they develop a little surliness he will yeah to their disposition tom mullins for example he's getting testy here's a little surliness to him yeah and i don't i don't have any kind of problem with it, but there's a little bit of it. He's fucking hilarious. Who? Tom Mullins.

Tom Mullins is the goat, and he's fucking gnarly, too. Legendary gnarly. Behind the scenes crew of Barstow vs. America. Oh, he's gnarly. Tom Mullins will get in the shit. Tom Mullins will run from the cops. There's no doubt in my mind.

Oh, yeah. He'll tag up a corporate building. He'll tag up the Merrill Lynch building or something, or try and destroy some corporate art just for laughs. He's like a walking fight club character. I'd fuck with Tom Mullins. What's good on time? 152.

Let's push it. Yeah, we should. Yeah, let's push it, KB. Is that cool? Should we get some girls in here to roast their fits? Rio is wearing an oversized sweatshirt. We got Chris Moneymaker on Zoom at 2. Should we just have him hop on the yak first?

His actual name. Yeah. Yes, that is very sweet. Yeah. Yeah, let's push it. Oh, no, I don't want to make you late for Moneymaker. And I got my eyes on some chicken parm for lunch today. I'm fucking fiending for it.

What are you going to do, Lena's? No, there's a place across the street, Bravo Pizza. You know, they have a chicken parm? Yeah, what's laughable about that? That's a nice chicken parm. I love them in panini form. I only reacted that way because I had Bravo Pizza five days a week

my first three months here, and then somebody made fun of me. Because you were only going to the one place across the street? Yeah. That's kind of a desolate stretch for food. It should be better. You just got a good chicken cutlet. Well, kind of gave it away, but chicken cutlet parm sandwich? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, cutlets. Cutlets is great. Fuck, I just don't have the patience for them right now, though. I just want to walk over and get it right now. You used to go to a little food cart across the street. Yeah, I used to. They moved at Rafiki's. Rafiki's used to be a New York Times,

like, marquee spot of great halal food. Delicious halal. You can't get good halal anymore. You just get the halal guys. There's no more bang for your buck than halal.

Yeah, it is. They give you a good portion. Fantastic. You get a nice, a rice platter. Let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm done.

KB, thank you for your bravery today. Jeff, thank you for being a great friend to KB. Owen, thank you for being a great friend to KB. I didn't want to tell you yesterday, but that did mean a lot to me. Oh, thank you. You owe me nothing. No apologies. You owe one person one thing.

Probably Owen's Uber. That's probably it. I do owe it. Or I do. How much was it? No, no. It's probably it. Do I do Owen's? Or I do, yeah. How much was it? No, no. It's not on you, Jeff.

$185. Yes. $350. Yikes. All right. And Jeff, I hope you don't wind up getting suspended like Nick did, but appreciate you. You never know.

Do I take a vacation if I do? I think you have to just sit in the locker room and stew. It's not like Tom Brady on his suspension where he was in Cabo eating Giselle's ass for like six weeks or something. No ass-eating for you. Give me some of that. Yeah. Oh, stop. Whoa. Enjoy the Cracking Aces interview.

Enjoy LCB. Enjoy Son of a Boy Dad. Enjoy Son of a Boy's Dad came out today. Shout out to Sass. What is his status? People are saying it's a top 15 episode. Shut up. Of all time?

O-A-T? Though he did sort of. He kind of left Owen hanging on. What? Oh, yeah. His internet just didn't work. That was actually why I was a couple minutes late. I was trying to figure out if I had special needs or not

because everyone was telling me I did. Why were they? I didn't know any of the wide receiver threes or middle relievers from before 2008. I wouldn't either. Live and you learn. Oh, this is from Trivia. Oh, Trivia.

Live and learn. I didn't get to watch that one. They're a critical fan base. I haven't read yet, but I'm sorry. Somebody was critical of me, and then somebody defended me. I was like, I don't think he's the R word, but he should stop his nicotine habit. What does that have to do? You don't drink.

You're allowed a fucking habit. I don't know. There's just a lot of analyzing going on. It makes me feel weird. Exactly. That's all right, though. And you're going to make it through there. And it's not going to be a problem.

We're going to yak again tomorrow. Who knows who will be here? Actually, I know I will not be here. Nor will Lil Sass. I think we're going to... Jeff, would you like to be on tomorrow? Nah, I got some boys I can... I could probably be on.

Use the screen time. It's probably just... Gotta write a tribute. Well, who are your boys that you could use the screen time? Give us a little teaser. Nah, nah, nah. You'll see. Is it...

Where's Campus's bitch ass? I need to hide him off. Campus just... Campus had to catch the train back. He left? Yes, Campus is out, bro. I walked by him and I was like, this guy is not 5'9". He may be 5'8". Oh, bro, he and I was like, this guy is not 5'9".

He may be 5'8". Oh, bro, he's like Royce, bro. He's 5'9". You need a referee to decide. Put some respect on campus's name. All right, we'll be back tomorrow with more Yak. Did you draw the X-Tiles? Hey, who was the X? It's the X