The Yak - Klemmer Has a Sequel to Purple Hat USA | The Yak 7-24-24

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Cheah vs Cheez-it's: round 1You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello. It's the Yak. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, Polo's, Hoodies, Joggers, Shorts. Roback.com, promo code Yak.

20% off your first purchase. Hey, boys. Hey, Dan. Explain yourself. Yeah. What are you doing? I had to go to Long ass time

My grandmother's funeral this morning so Sorry Did you say anything about the tie? Nope Oh that is a long tie Yeah You guys aren't gonna say sorry or anything? I just said sorry

She had a good time Yeah she was Nah I'm just fucking with you guys She's been dead for fucking decades That's hilarious Yeah she's fucking So dead She's so dead for fucking decades. That's hilarious. She's so dead. No, we're doing the takeys.

For next week. This is not a long tie. Oh, it's appropriate length. It's exactly where it should be. When I sit down, it becomes a long tie. You have a short torso. Oh, no, wait. Also, those pants are very baggy at the bottom,

yet when you sit down, they show so much ankle. Pants. No, it looks good. Yeah. I am wearing Spanx today. Did you go to a tailor? Yeah, I got this custom made. I like the color scheme. Thank you.

Appreciate it. We just finished where we're in the middle of taping, so I didn't have time to change in and out. I can change if you guys want me to. Can you fix your right pant leg, please? I can change if you guys want me to. I might have to just touch it. Cleat.

I'm also not wearing appropriate socks. Hello, everyone. Hey. Today's the day. Great American Cheez-It. Did we talk about Roback.com? Yeah, we did. Okay. I wasn't able to sleep last night. I'm so excited for this. I'm so excited for this. today's the day great american cheese did we talk about roback.com yeah we did okay

i wasn't able to sleep last night i'm so excited for this i'm so excited for this steven and jacob come in here jacob started counting these at 11 34 they also have done this they did not listen to what my request they didn't do it right they did not do it right this is not where i want them no we tj did you tell him what I said later? I said it's you, Jacob. Oh, maybe I didn't. All right, bad job by me. So, Jacob and Steven are going to be eating as many Cheezuses as they can,

but I don't want you guys sitting there. I want you guys sitting in the gambling cave watching some sports. Don't have the yak on. Okay. And I want you guys to eat naturally. It's not speed eating this is like what we did on popcorn day right it's not speed you're not doing like joey chestnut speed eating okay you're just eating cheez-its while we yak you're oblivious to the yak going on we'll check in every

now and then whoever eats the most cheeses at the end is the winner this is impossible they're both going to speed eat they're going to eat faster than they would normally. You do have to eat without ceasing, right? It's impossible to have a controlled environment. I'm very hungry. Also, PEDs by Steven. I just caught him taking a shit. That's true. How'd you know it was him taking a shit?

Who else wears those fucking shoes? Oh, you saw the shoes. I also did see I saw him wiping. He keeps the stall door open. Wait, you saw him wiping? Yeah, he says he likes more space. Yeah, that makes sense. So I walked to the far stall, and he was in the first stall, wide open, just wiping.

I've seen that before. That is a funny rumor to start. No, it wasn't a rumor. It happened. He said it's like a family thing. Yeah. He said, Chays are just like everyone else,

only more so. All right. All right. So each cup has 50? 100. 100. 100 Cheez-Its. We each have 10 cups.

Okay. And then there's a bonus box just in case we run through our cups. Are those in cups? The bonus boxes are out there. Those are not in cups, but there's 540 in each box. Are we sure it's the exact same in every box? It's how it hasn't been opened.

So per the packaging. That's like the emergency box. You guys aren't going to have 1,000. I can't. There's no way to get 1,000. Yeah, it's 10 cups each. Do you think you could have 1,000 Cheez-Its? I don't know. I haven't eaten today, it's ten cups each. Do you think you could have a thousand Cheez-Its? I don't know.

I haven't eaten today, but that's a lot. A regular-sized box is 297 Cheez-Its. Oh, then no. So that's a lot of Cheez-Its. I have not eaten. I've only had a zero-sugar Baja Blast this morning. Okay. That's what you have.

Do those taste like the regular Baja Blasts? Yeah, it's actually really good. All right. You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, one of you should be there, one of you should be in the gambling cave. So that way they have no idea what the other one's doing, so they don't have it be

a speed eating contest. So wait, what about you could eat as fast as you want, but it's a blind competition, so you kind of... Yeah, you have no idea. You have no idea what the other person's doing. Yes, Jacob. Are we competing for something? Or are we just competing for pride?

Cash. I think we're competing against ourselves, really. Someone's going to be able to eat the most. Pride. This is profound, Jay. You guys are competing for a year's supply of Cheez-Its. Which is a thousand Cheez-Its. Which is a thousand. That's not bad.

Jacob just looked genuinely. I'll go to Costco this weekend and we'll make sure you have a year's supply of Cheez-Its. Can that be a box a day? So 365 boxes? I don't know if we'll do a box a day. You guys will just let me know when you need more Cheez-Its. So it'll be kind of on demand.

Yeah, so like a card. Cheez-Its on demand. Yeah, right. They can present the card to me and I will give them a box of Cheez-Its. I'll go to Costco. I'll get like 200 boxes in my office. You come in.

You say, hey, I need a box. I'm all out. Boom, box. Why do you have so many questions, Jacob? This is the last question. It's perfect. He and Che are the question guys. Does this include all flavors like extra toasty, or is this just-

Good question. Is that a flavor, or is that a technique? question. Is that a flavor or is that a technique? Toasty is a flavor. It's a type of box that Cheez-Its come in. It's a type of Cheez-Its in the box. Yes. Fair question. So types and flavors.

White cheddar. Yeah. That's a flavor and a type. No. Just original. Oh, that's rough. And to even spice up the prize, I'd maybe give them all of it at once. All the Cheez-Its?

The whole year's supply at once. In a bag. In one garbage bag. Yeah. Yeah. No, well, you guys can take the lump sum, which is more Cheez-Its, or you can take the payment plan, which is less Cheez-Its. No, they can't.

That's all at once. Okay, lump sum. And I think we should get one of those classic garbage cans,-huh not a bag oh like the tin ones yeah and i think they can bring home that garbage can of cheeses yeah i actually 100 could see jacob just sitting in his apartment eating cheeses out of a garbage can that's the ultimate bachelor pad yeah thanks big cat yeah that was a compliment it's a guy who's got it all together. Jacob, while I have you here, how was Wednesday three? TBD.

To your future wife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm, yeah. Okay. So you, you missed a work priority. Well, memes asked me at 4 PM that day that day if i could stay if i was available

later in the day i said no i have a date at 6 30 what did you tell memes before that though i'm available anytime anyplace anywhere you do talk like that talk like that but i don't remember when i said that or if i said that i'm sure like that's implied. I want to do as much as I can. I want to work my ass off, but I don't want to cancel on somebody two hours before. Which I'm totally fine with. The scheduled event. I thought it was fine. That's happened to me, and it makes me feel bad, so I don't want to do that to somebody.

Totally fine with you not canceling. Totally fine with you going on the date. You do have to get married to her. Okay. I'll let her know. Because then it will be like, hey, he missed Doug's stream, but it was his future wife. What can you say?

I feel like that's typical third date activity. Just, hey, yeah, one of my bosses at work said we have to get married. Right, right. If you come in with a hickey, though, you can get a six-month extension. Yep. Ooh.

And a box of Cheez-Its. Okay. I'll get the Dyson out. No, no, no. No. We'll know. We will smellts. Okay. I'll get the Dyson out. No, no, no. No. We'll know. We will smell it. Yep.

And we'll know. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Are you guys ready to go? Yeah. So, Che, why don't you go into the gambling cave? Sure.

Bring your cups and put like, I want your full cups on one of the little tables and your empty cups on the other so we can easily track. When you finish a cup, you put it on the empty table. Same with you. Have it one side, the other. Do you want me to sit on the court? Why don't you move back so you can't really hear us? Okay. Can I put headphones in to help?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's a question guy. Can we talk, I have something to talk about you with your other intern, your newest intern. Huey? Is that what we're calling him now? Hubert for long. We're still working on it.

He's kind of in that phase where like a rescue dog, he doesn't know his new name yet. Yeah. So we have like a very short time period. You're test running a lot of them? Yeah, I got treats that I give him every time he answers to Huey. Okay. Why? He's an interesting cat. Yeah, I want treats that I give him every time he answers to Huey. Okay. Why?

He's an interesting cat. Yeah, I want to meet him. Oh, you haven't met him? I haven't met him. Well, hold on. I got to talk to you about him. He over colognes. Oh.

He smells really good. Really good. But he puts on way too much cologne. Where's he sitting right now? I want to do a walk by. Yeah, he's back in my mutant slayer. Oh, I don't want to go in there. No, you know that little corner.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a turtle. There's a turtle and Huey. Yeah, go walk by. Okay. Go walk by. That might be his thing, like part of his bit. It's a good smelling cologne.

I'm not going to lie. It's a good smelling cologne. Like this morning when he was near me, it was pleasant. But even when he was 12 to 15 feet away it was it was the dominant force in the room yeah and we've all been there you know young guy want to smell good it's a lot it is a lot i just wanted to bring it back a little bit yeah he's he's an interesting guy well presented fella is he yeah he dresses he? He dresses up like mince dresses up.

Yeah, kind of. He's got a little mincey. I likened him to he's a young John Candy. Look. Yeah? He's got a 15 foot radius. 15 foot radius? Yeah, he's got a... I want to go smell it now. Yeah, go smell him.

I'll tell you as a lady. Go smell it and then also tell him to come in. Yeah, get him in here. Yes. It's going to take over the room. He's got 15 feet. Seriously? It should be fine, but it's not a bad smell.

He smells good. I want to make that. I'm not making fun of the kid. He smells good. It's just a lot. Where's Clemmer, by the way? He's around. He could be in here.

Oh, why is he? Yeah, that's true. Oh, I'm speaking into him. Hey. a lot where's clemmer by the way he's around he could be in here oh why is it yeah this oh i'm speaking into him hey um so huey's gotta do we tell him not to do we tell him to go less on the no you just you you can it's your intern you so it's your property we i'm just giving you some i'm giving you some information. Can we be scientific? Get a baseline of him natural and see how much he needs. Okay, that's a good point. We also should probably have Jerry give him a sniff because Jerry is a cologne.

Jerry, yeah, up and down. Yeah. All right, they're walking in lockstep. Jerry is furious today because... Yeah, I want to hear what happened. Somebody parked in the handicap spot. Oh, no. A handicapped person? Probably. Who else would park in the handicap spot? A handicapped person

and Jerry. That's it. That's the list. That's one and the same. I want Clemmer in here. I want Clemmer. How bad? Oh. Alright, here's Huey. What do you think, Kate? I don't think it's... You think it's delightful? No, I think it's... All right, here's Huey. What do you think, Kate? You think it's delightful? No, I think it's maybe a little scotch more than, but it's not too, but yes, you can smell it as soon as you pass the producer booth.

Huey? Yeah. Talk in the mic. Hello. Huey, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Jerry, come here for a sec. Nice to meet you, Brandon.

Give him a sniff and let us know if it's too much. No. Okay. Do you get the whiff, though? You smell it. Here, here, here, here. There's a radius, but up close it's not too much, I don't think. It's back of the neck he's got to get?

Yeah, back of the neck, because when the girls walk by, you want to get them, they're like, oh, wow. Why wouldn't they get that coming by? Or when they turn around. Let me try to guess. Sit down, Jerry, because we have a question for you. I guessed earlier. What'd you say?

Prada. Prada? I don't got that money. You don't get that money uh Abercrombie and Fitch oh nice yeah he was blue collar guy I know yeah yeah we're construction but still blue yeah it works yeah he made sure to tell us that non-union yeah uh Jerry someone parked in your spot today handicap spot yeah what happened so I was saying okay somebody's in your spot today? Handicapped spot? Yeah. What happened? So I was like, okay, somebody's in my spot.

I'm going to go grab a different spot. And then I pull into the, I'm about to pull into the spot. And what do I see? White Mercedes Benz, Jackie Tables. Cut me off. Then I was, hand on the horn, beeping. I rolled down my window screaming at him. He gets out the car.

Before he gets out the car, he tries to back and hit my truck. Well, SUV, whatever. He tries to back and hit me. I snap. The guy's watching. There's a neighbor watching like, what is going on? He comes out, double birds me, fuck off. I lost it.

Wow. I snapped on him, yeah. And he parked in your spot? No, he parked in the second spot. He parked in the, he cut me off for the second spot, yeah. Do we have video of this, TJ? We might. I was screaming at him. I love it.

What car is parked in your spot? A nice one, I don't know. Interesting. It's a nice car, though. But Jerry broke down. He wants to redo the whole parking system because somebody parked in the handicap spot today. I just, first of all, I don't think interns should be parking in good parking spots. Yeah, I agree with that.

Like they're not employees. No, Chase should make it so the first lane is not interns. I agree with that. Yeah. I agree. Totally agree. They should have to park out. Yeah.

I don't know. What's a fair way to do it? Brandon says the earlier you're here do you get the spot i get that but interns i agree brandon's right earlier gets the better spot but interns should always just go to the second level yes that should happen che you need to change its parking you need to be sending email telling the interns they can't park in the first lane here comes a question from this, you're not in it? You fired me.

Yeah, I think I'm fired. Shit. Where did Jacob's Cheez-Its go? Over there. Oh, okay. All right. There's an imbalance. He has 10, I have 9.

You got to pull that out a little. We can't even see that. Why aren't they not eating Cheez-Its yet? Start eating Cheez-Its. Well, we want to make sure we're equal. He has 10, I have 9, so I want to eliminate one of them. Get somebody to make a cup while y'all are eating. It doesn't matter.

Neither of you are getting to 900. It doesn't matter. They don't really tow out there, do they? Split the cup, you got 950. Parked illegal as hell today. Jacob, just go back to right here and put in your headphones. Somebody eat some fucking Cheez-Its. All right.

So we can start? No. When Jacob's set up, he'll tell you to start. Oh, my God. Got a lot of people on here. Did you see that Spencer Lee line for the Olympics? Something he said. Oh, there's betting lines?

Plus 200 for him to win gold. Plus money. I'd bet that for sure. 100%. I know. Yeah. It'll be tough, but. Yeah, it's a good line.

Huey. Nice to meet you. Are you going to go by Huey? Yeah. I think it fits you well. H-E-W-E-Y. meet you. Are you going to go by Huey? Yeah. I think it fits you well. Yeah, H-E-W-E-Y. Yeah. H-E-W-E-Y?

Yeah, because Matthew is his name. Oh, okay. So we're going to go Huey. Unique. Yeah, and Hubert for long. Sure. Yeah. Mr. Hubert, if you'd like.

I would. Okay. You don't have to call him that. KB, the guys on the act never met you so they wanted to meet you are a would you say you're a basketball savant no expert i just like it i like the stories i like the intricacies i'm not gonna sit here and tell you i know everything you're an outspoken basket yeah i love what i watch and i'll keep watching all right the gameplay are you into like the culture yeah i'm into like what they're wearing who they're dating

yeah like at the end of the day like Wemby and Giannis and those guys fascinate me more than Tom Brady or Mahomes yeah I agree

the aliens of the world and what they can do on like a court it's like insane and that to me it's like another level why'd you spell

your name spelled wrong alright well I'm still trying to figure that all out yeah we've been trying it was the last two days of going back and forth on Jerryerry's stream last night they the chat said he should be called beans yeah not bad yeah not bad at all beans curly huey hubert do you have

a donkey lips do you have a doppelganger do people tell you remind you they remind you of you remind them of someone young Young John Candy. Yeah, you like that? Clemmer's here, by the way. Clemmer, what's up? Young John Candy. Do you like basketball history? I know a little bit about it. I like some of the players back in the day, yeah.

Huey got the internship because when we interviewed him, he's a real go-getter. He has an NBA podcast that was originally titled NBA Hole. And then like A-hole. Asshole. Yeah, asshole.

Then when the WNBA was created last year, he added the W. Oh, no. So NBA Hole. It covers WNBA as well. Okay, no. So NBA Hole covers WNBA as well. Okay, yeah. And now the kicker is he did over 200 of those podcasts. Yeah. And then accidentally deleted almost all of them.

Yeah. I got about seven up there. Oh, yeah. Is there any trace of these other 190-something? Your guess is as good as mine. Solo pod? Yeah. Solo pod?

A what? Is it a solo pod? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All me. Yeah, I did everything. Respect that. And he would listen to his own. Yeah, you're ready to go.

And he would listen to his own podcast, his own solo pod back like two or three times each. Yeah, to like listen to how I i talk to see how my beats were to get better on that honing your crowd yeah yeah a little bit of a comedian uh you know uh obsession there but yeah just congrats on the internship yeah thank you very much yeah what's something you have accomplished that like you haven't revealed yet that barstool or that you haven't talked about that you're the most proud of i I mean, I have a couple projects that I like, that I'm kind of like working on secretly that I never expect to see the light of day,

but it's just like, it makes me laugh. Go on. So I'm running a TV pilot. Oh, wow. What? Yeah, for, again, it's a funny thing I'm doing. It's about two brothers, kind of stoners. One's named Carmelo, the other, Anthony.

Okay. And they were born two days named Carmelo the other Anthony and they were born two days before Carmelo gets traded to the Knicks and that's why their dad hates him and is so resentful of these young men because he names them Carmelo and Anthony and then they get traded

so this family lives in Denver? yeah they're stuck home in Denver now they're getting kicked out why? dad's marrying a new wife, little stepbrother named Yokech. Named Nicola. They're getting kicked out. They're stoners.

They gotta figure out their own life. Are they white? Well, yeah. They're big chubby guys. Big white Carmelo. Do they have any similar traits as you? I'd argue one to one. Both of them are exactly like you? No.

Funny enough, I reread some of the descriptions of the people not too long ago. The one guy is made to a T. The other guy has long black hair and a black beard. Wait, you read the descriptions that you wrote? Yeah, I forgot what the one looked like. I was like, what are these guys? When you're writing it, you're not envisioning what they look like? It was a couple months.

It's a couple months go by. That's not that long. You forget that you made one of them long. I forget what the one looks like. We have to make this show now. Well, I'm on page one. Oh, you're on page one. So wait, it's a secret project you've been working on for months.

For four or five months that I've got one page on. How long of a break did you take? You forgot about what they looked like. months four or five months but i've got one page how long of a break did you take about you forgot about what they looked like after my intern interview is when i thought oh remember that thing i was doing a month ago maybe i should look and see what that was yeah no we gotta we gotta we gotta we gotta work on it we have cameras we have green screens yeah i couldn't i need to see a season of this does it have a name it's a commercial yeah does it have a name is it uh i was going a couple of different things.

I had it. Final one I had is High Up in the Mountains. Okay. I didn't want to do like Rocky Mountain High or anything. That would be better. Yeah, but that had been done. Okay. I didn't know if we could do like a Carmelo Anthony,

if there was something I could throw in with him and the title somehow. But I don't know. So right now it's High Up in the Mountains. Carmelo getting traded from the in with him and the title somehow. But I don't know. So right now, it's high up in the mountain. Carmelo getting traded from the Nuggets to the Knicks and Jokic getting drafted. A lot of distance. There's a lot of years in between. Yeah.

Yeah. No. Is that for writing? Yeah, Dad's just not happy. Okay, for a lot of years. Yeah, he's just letting it out on these kids. These kids are miserable. Is this from, like, was your upbringing similar to these boys? No, just letting it out on these kids. These kids are miserable. Is this from the...

Was your upbringing similar to these boys? No, no, no, no, no, no. My family's fine. I didn't get kicked out of anything. I mean, he wanted to. Don't worry. But, yeah, no, I mean... Don't worry, he did not fit in there.

That's the thing I've learned with Huey. He says phrases that don't fit, that is just beautiful. Don't worry. He wanted to is just beautiful. Don't worry. He wanted to kick me out. Don't worry. I wasn't worried at all. But now I am.

Yeah, I am. Seems like there was something more. Tell them about you. I mean, you did go to college. I did a class, one class. I didn't do too well um the teacher didn't like me i didn't like the teacher um i showed up it was a twice a week class i showed up about once every two weeks um half the time it was an english class um i thought everything i did was good

as far as what i wrote um but my grammar was awful uh a lot a lot of spelling letter a lot of you know didn't know where to put periods um okay and then she had a very easy name and it was like reagan or something but i i just i messed it up a couple of times like i added an extra e when i shouldn't the n was in the wrong spot and she got mad at me because it was like you know you should spell my name correctly oh spelling not saying no spelling it got it i was like that's my fault you're right but i also thought i was right a couple other times so it was just misunderstanding miscommunication broke down i know yeah and so she just kind of wasn't the biggest yeah and so you know a couple c minuses i got i got through it but yeah you got

a credit i think so yeah What class was this? English. I don't know if there's any other add-ons. Where was it? Macomb Community College. That was fun. Were you overwhelmed by the workload and quit school? No. No. It was just like, hey, is this for me type of thing?

I'm working, doing some other stuff. Let's take a class. Let's just see if I get, if I get the vibes. I didn't. Did you have a major or did you have a major in mind? No, we weren't even, we weren't even close to that. We were just seeing if school and I fit well. Yeah.

And didn't. No. Yeah. Yeah. And your main thing was construction then? Yeah. Construction and like cooking, prep cooking and stuff like that. Nothing crazy, but just, yeah, just staying around, staying with them.

Where are you from? Michigan. Okay. A little north of Detroit. Okay. Yeah. He's a great guy. Dad's a lieutenant firefighter.

Oh, all right. He's a carpenter too, so that's all I kind of know where I come from. You also were a coach? Yeah, I coached middle school football for three years. It was actually a volunteer position. I was running gonna get paid for it um but that was fun i was a defensive coordinator we had there were six games a season uh we won i think a total of five of those games total in three years yeah um so that was fun it's fun fun go around uh yeah we were all like young coaches there was three of us uh the one was like a teacher, and he was like 28, but that was the oldest.

And we were just kind of winging it. Never really had a game plan every day. We just kind of went into practice. It's going to be like the documentary like when Belichick was with the Browns and he had like Saban on staff. Yeah, yeah. One of the kids I coached is a third-string receiver at the University of Missouri right now.

He has 97 speed, 97 acceleration. Quick. On CFB 25. Did he respect you? Yeah, I mean, he was a nice kid. He was also like 13. Yeah, yeah. He was a nice kid.

Yeah, I mean, I won't go into this. He had some issues at home. All right. Nice kid. Great kid, great kid. Great kid. Fucking love the guy. I mean, he's fast as shit

yeah it's not to love yeah fucking awesome dude i'm just like to like he didn't know how to tackle and now he's playing for d1 football with 97 speed i mean that's awesome and don't worry his dad wanted to kick him out yeah don't worry about that well he moved on to texas right after that year so we didn't know what not your dad no this got it yeah dad's still up mission that was a transition yeah oh sorry it got confusing yeah um but yeah so he moved on to texas we didn't know what was gonna happen to him and then on the other side a couple years later you see him pop up on like one of the like top or one of like the scouting websites for uh for like his class like yeah oh shit dude fucking i know this kid yeah how old are you uh 25 okay what are you doing at 30 you think uh i guess long-term goal the sky's the

limit um i think i you know i want my own podcast yeah but then i i also kind of want to do like some some small-time movie roles like i i love like chris farley will ferrell like those types of guys so like if i could just be like a show up for a couple days be the big goofy guy and leave that's all i want i don't want to do like a i don't want to do fucking dramas yeah i just want to be the goofy guy we need to get him in some out of orders yeah absolutely we got to get you going in some out of orders get those acting chops up think you could slip on a banana peel? Try. Try. It's big enough. Why don't you show us? Invisible banana peel.

Oh, slip on it. Yeah, yeah. Just try on the cord. Wait, what? Did you think you wanted? I thought you wanted to put one on me. You're like, okay. Slip on.

Wear it. Oh, you. I thought you wanted a big banana. I thought you wanted a big banana. Like a robe, yeah. I'm shocked you got a C-. Wait, is that why you said if there's one big enough? Yeah.

Slip this banana on real quick. Now it makes sense. Got it. Yeah, the whole not knowing how periods work kind of starting to. I see it. Okay. Yeah, actually, so don't do that. We're going to get a big banana.

Okay. And we'll see if you can put it on. Yeah. I can do that too. Yeah, go, so don't do that. We're going to get a big banana peel. Okay. And we'll see if you can put it on. I do that too. Yeah, go out on the court. Okay, you're entering a work meeting late, and you're going to say a catchphrase when you come in and then slip on the banana peel. Yeah.

Am I slipping in here or out there? In here on the carpet. Unless you'd rather, I guess, your choice. Artistic freedom. Do it right in front of Jacob. Are we doing the catchphrase, or is he doing the catchphrase? Yeah, you've got to do the catchphrase when you enter the room late. So walk in front of Jacob, slip on the banana peel,

then enter the room with the catchphrase. Oh, after? Yeah. Save yourself. Yeah. Okay. Can you get a laugh track ready, TJ? Okay.

This is a perfect yak moment where we have one guy eating cheese. It's for no reason whatsoever. The cheese of competition. I forget why. In one guy eating cheese. It's for no reason whatsoever. The cheese of competition. I forget why. No hurry at all. It's so boring. Yeah. And then we have Huey.

Oh, here he comes. And we're just going to wait for Huey. Oh! No! Oh. Are you okay, Huey? Yeah. Catchphrase.

Catchphrase. Oh, there it is. How about that one? How about that one? Yeah. Catchphrase. Catchphrase. Oh, there it is. How about that one? How about that one? Say it into the mic. How about that one? That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

Did you hurt yourself a little bit? A little bit. Yeah, I can tell. You kind of fell hard. You landed a little harder. I fall for comedy. Yeah. Did you fall on your face?

My ribs and my crotch. Not much there, but took the fall. Yeah. Do you have any other questions for Hubie? He's a gem. Do you have any distinctive quirks? Hubie, Huey, or Hubert? Okay.

Already? What's your most distinctive trait? Really, really wet handshakes. Yeah, dude. This hand is fucking human right here. I noticed that. The really really wet handshakes yeah dude this hand i noticed that i noticed that the wettest handshakes ever why are your hands so wet i'm nervous i just nervous you know yeah lights yeah yeah yeah lights provide heat do you have what's the last thing you memorized? Man, that's a good point.

How about that? How about that one? Yeah, I need to learn everything about you. So are you living in Chicago now? Yeah, yeah. He moved here last week. Okay, all right. Wow, all right.

He's got roommates that he doesn't know. Airbnb? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool kid. It's like 22. I thought it was multiple.

The one moved out, and then I think- Like immediately when you moved in? No, he was just in town for a couple of days. Okay. So it wasn't like, I didn't scare him away. Yeah. And then, yeah, and this kid's a cool kid. And then he's like two years younger than me he's in town for business and then yeah and then there's an extra bedroom right now nice open do you get into shenanigans like do you play the goofy role or are you just goofy

what do you mean do you like for do you like i'm gonna i'm gonna go out and i'm gonna be the goofy guy oh no people are gonna like yeah i I don't think about it like that. Yeah, it's your natural way. Yeah, it happens. Not by my own choosing. Sometimes, you know. Yeah. But like, yeah.

Like, I look out of place when I try to look nice. But in a hoodie and sweatpants, I look like a normal guy. Yeah. He's dressed up for the takeys as well. Yeah. This is him dressed up. I look like a normal guy. Yeah. He's dressed up for the take. He's as well. Yeah. This is him dressed up. Out of my comfort.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a sharp shirt, though. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

The undershirt's showing. Yeah, well. A little casual. Yeah, that's fine. It's kind of your look. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah.

Off-season. I like you, Mr. Hubert. Thank you, Scott. He's a gem. Yeah. We set him up poorly on his first part of my take last week. We asked him a bunch of questions. He talked for like 20 minutes, and then our listeners were like, fuck this guy.

Because they thought, oh, he's going to talk for 20 minutes every show. He's fallen right into his perfect spot. He's part of the show. Yeah, you're introducing him. You got to get the back story. But I felt bad because it's like I probably shouldn't have. I probably shouldn't have had you talk introducing him. You gotta get the back story. Yeah, we were just doing it, but I felt bad because it was like, I probably shouldn't have had you talk that much, and then everyone's like... And then you followed it right up with the top 10 list.

Yeah. Another 10 minutes of... He ranked his top 10 NBA, or basketball players in the world. So, could be women, too. Any of them make... Any women make it? One. One. Oh. Yeah. Asia Wilson. Of course. Asia Wilson, yeah.

Good player. Great player. You know Asia Wilson. Of course. Asia Wilson. Yeah. Good player. Great player. You know Asia Wilson. What's your number 10? Three. Two. Whoa. I moved her past Luca.

You're right. If you're looking from men to women, you're comparing women to women, men to men, at the end of the day, she's got the gap, the distance. Yeah. She does have that. Jerry, you agree? I don't. Oh. Okay.

You don't agree that she's number two? Would you put her five, six range? She would lose to every one of those guys one-on-one. So would any other woman. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't what I was comparing. What were you comparing?

I was comparing them against their own people. Oh, okay. Got it. And the gap from her back in place was- Yeah, no, she's the best. Yeah. I would say that in women's, yeah. Yeah, Jerry and Hubie have an interesting relationship

because they bonded a lot over politics, but Jerry hates the WNBA and Hubie loves it. Yeah, that's, I think, our only difference. Okay, that's literally the only difference. I think so. We've agreed on everything else. Pretty much. But the WNBA thing's a pretty big hurdle.

Yeah, we might be able to get past it, though. Jerry treated us last week. My favorite part of the WNBA thing is a pretty big hurdle. Yeah. Yeah. We might be able to get past it, though. Jerry Treat was last week my favorite part of a WNBA. Did you get ratioed for that? A little bit, I guess. Maybe. I don't know. I don't really look at what people say. Yeah.

That's smart. All right. Well, thank you. Great meeting you, man. Nice to meet you guys. Excited for you. Out of order. Yeah.

Yes. Get you acting. Yeah, that sounds fun. Get some lunch, Huey. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I could do you. Out of order. Yeah. Yes. Get you acting. Yeah, that sounds fun. Get some lunch, Hughie. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I could do that. We'll get lunch.

All right. Yeah. All right. Cool. Thank you. All right. Let's get some lunch. We'll get that car towed out of your spot.

I need to find that footage of you just flipping out. Can TJ find it, you think? Yeah, he might be able to. They're getting it. Might be a good angle, too, with the cameras on the pole. Yeah. That's Hughie. What do you guys think?

I like Hughie. Nice. Nice kid kid Yeah His name changed three times While he was here alone Well Huey Hubie Hubert Mr. Hubert

Yeah Hubert No Huey It's gonna be uphill for him But it's gonna be Upwards for him Upwards yeah

The arrow was pointed out Yeah cause he is authentic He's very likable Yeah He's not an asshole Right Actually he kind of is That could be good for him too Yeah he The arrow was pointed out. Yeah, because he is authentic. He's very likable. Yeah. He's not an asshole. Right. Actually, he kind of is.

That could be good for him, too. Yeah. Well, he's not an asshole. He's just a little bit of a shit talker, which I kind of like. That's good. Yeah. He was criticizing Doug's day one. I guess he went to their softball game, and they asked him to be the coach, and he was just like, just chirping all of his own team.

Okay, so he is an asshole. But that's okay. Like, it's in a funny, weird way that I like. So, yeah. He'll be good. Clemmer. Yes. Hello.

Hello. Happy Rat Race Day. Well, half of Rat Race. Yes. Yeah. So we're only getting to see half? Half. What you're doing tonight is crazy.

Second half? Wait, wait. Oh, that would have been awesome. Show the people the show is crazy. Second half? Wait, wait. Oh, that would have been awesome. Show the people the show, man. Second half. No, this is good. Yes, I'm following orders, Brenner. This is your show.

Yes, they say that. Tell them to show the whole show. Yeah. It's going to be a great time. Dan, tell them to tell them to show the whole show. I want to see the second half. The first half. First half. Both halves are great.

You're asking people to come out to River North tonight. I'm asking you to come out to River North. To watch half the show. Yes, I'm asking you to come out to River North. That's what you're saying. Hey, come out here. Watch half the show. You can't watch the whole thing. Right.

Yes. Well, you'll be there. I will unfortunately not be there. Oh, all right. Even though you texted me. My kid has a doctor's appointment. Right. Even though you said you told me you were going to be there.

That's fine. That was weeks ago. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That doesn't... You never said you couldn't make it. You should have texted me and said, I can't make it. I should have texted you and said,

things have changed. It's fine. It's a sponsored event. Would you like me to tell you that my wife had surgery and I have to go home? Oh, shit. And my grandma died. No, that mind's real.

My grandma did die. You could have just texted me, though. I my grandma died. No, that mine's real. My grandma did die. You could have just texted me, though. I can't make it. Then we wouldn't have put you on the poster. You see how it works? Oh, he's on the poster? On the poster. I forgot to text you.

And then Brandon will then complain when he's not on a poster. Right. That's accurate. Although I will say we did cut off his arm in the poster, so that's good. Oh, yeah. Whoa, what happened? Yeah. Maybe we knew.

It's like Back to the future when he starts to vanish maybe maybe that's his career slowly dwindling away brandon so we have no representation from our team oh you're going no i will not be attending i never i never let clemmer know that i would be going i told him i'd rather shoot myself in the face than go and what did i say you made some sort of joke and i said you should stay home. I nicely responded to Clemmer. I said, thanks so much. If I can make it, I will. Right.

He knew that was what I said eventually. No, it's not. It's not what you said. Read the text. Read the text. I said, all right, I'll come to your event if I can. So wait, Clemmer, you're not showing the second half because of spoilers? I was totally.

Because I want to go to the bar and see me and Kyle win. Yes. Oh. Yes. You should go to the bar and enjoy all of Rat Race that we show you, which will be the first half. Are you worried that people might spoil the first half? I am not.

This was not my decision. Somebody please show these people tonight the whole show. They're going to see it at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Exactly. They're coming out. They're coming out to hang out with you. Actually, 9 a.m. Chicago time. Once again, not my decision. You're yelling at the wrong guy.

I don't know what to tell you guys. I think it's good. It's called Chris Clemmer's Rat Race, correct? It's called Clemmer's Rat Race, which is a name, by the way. A lot of this is out of my control. I control the game and putting it together, and then you do that, and then we are a company and then things happen what's the first word of the name again uh climber yeah climbers yeah yeah well

kirk kirk told me i need to put my foot down more about things and i i'm just learning to i i don't i probably don't do that enough maybe with this i'm trying to tell i'm trying to i know it's hard it's a delicate balance because like you don't want to come off as an asshole but then you also like all right me should we and if like you don't have a real strong opinion either way, it's hard to – I don't know. What did you reply to Kirk when he said you had to put your foot down? We were talking about it. I said, no, I said, you're right.

I do. That response is not putting your foot down. Yeah, you should have told him no. This was already – I think it might have been about this. This was already kind of in play. So I was like, all right. Can we watch the trailer? Yeah, I would love that.

Yeah, let's get the trailer because I'm excited for this tomorrow. I will say, I saw the final cut. This is incredible. I'm not full of it here. I did enjoy doing it. Thank you. Good. I loved having you.

You guys are so funny together. I loved being teamed up with you. Yeah, we're teaming up. You guys were amazing. Thank you. This is so good. I'm so, so, so happy with this. Yeah, we're teaming up. Very rare we're on the same team. You guys were amazing. Thank you. This is so good. I'm so, so, so happy with this. It's not like blowing smoke.

I love the first two a lot. This is substantially better. Oh, no. So you're saying Chicago talent is better than New York talent? Nope. I'm just saying this.

A lot of it is me and Boo figuring out what works, what doesn't work. And then Dello edited it. Dello is incredible. The talent's a little bit better. Talent's different. I think the New York talent's great too. Are we going to

do this in different cities? Yeah. Great. Yes. What about Super Bowl? I would love to do it there. I would love to do it there. I'd love to integrate. I'd love to do... I love doing this. I love setting it up. I love thinking about it. I love the day we do it. I love

watching the editing process. I love every single part of this. This love setting it up. I love thinking about it. I love the day we do it. I love watching the editing process. I love every single part of this. This is my favorite thing I do. I love it so much. More favorite than the hats? The hats? I have two hats. Oh, yeah.

We'll get to the hats. Let's watch the trailer first. But that's great that you love it because that is like the key to this job is if you find something you can throw yourself into. It's not a part of this I don't love. I love writing the clues. I love everything. Love it. Yes. Yo! Yo! Where's Clemmer? to it's there's not a part of this i don't love i even though i love writing the clues i love everything love it yes yo yo where's clumber i think we should be legally allowed to kill him hurry up let's go let's go i'm looking man dude you're at the top until you're not the descent

to the bottom it happens in the blink of an eye welcome to rap race i know it i know it i know it and we are in chicago it's crazy how much faster I am than you. Mr. Train Team can't keep up already. God damn it. Life's off stage, so bitch. Pink Whitney, enjoy. You'll still be expected to get to each destination as quickly as possible.

And the last team to get there will be eliminated. Go, go, go, go, go, go. You're cheating, you're cheating. it up bad. We're done. Where's my teammate? Like, I don't have to do these things. Could you just fire a quiver?

So who will win my rat race? The Windy City is waiting for you. Love it. So good. It's so good. The logo haunts my dreams. The logo is terrifying. That laugh, too, with the logo.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah, I'm excited to watch the first half. You'll FaceTime me, Nick, during it? Yeah. Thank you. Appreciate that. We should do one in Wheeling.

Yeah? Oh, speaking of which. Oh, dear. You got a key to that city too? hey nicky nicky nicky nicky clicky kick clicky rough and rowdy yeah me and roan caleb can't make it will you be flying with me absolutely not why we're in and out off no we're in and out i we're in and out I'm singing and wheeling for the weekend But you can fly there I already got my ticket

When? For what night? I go Thursday night Friday morning? You want to jerk off with me What would it just be you two? Well I think Spider and whoever else is going From here No I agreed that I would jerk off with you and Danny Conrad on a plane.

So Danny can come. We have a seat. Just get over with. If Danny... Oh, fuck. Hard bargain. Just get this over with. Yeah, just do it.

Let's just fucking do it. I don't want to rush it. I want it to be special. We'll talk about it. Okay. I'm afraid to fly private. I know you are. You're just for the record, he's not afraid to jerk off with me on a plane.

Oh, no. Yeah. No flying private. Can I. Does the. Does the plane have to be taken off? Can I get on the private with you and go on my United flight? I actually probably don't want you to fly with me because I think that we would crash.

Yes. Because of your scaredness of flying private. My bust would break the wall. You would suck us all out. You'd be like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Don't make me do this. And then we'd crash.

And on the way down, you'd be like, told you. Yeah. Well, no. I would probably stop. If it was going down and I still had to jerk off, would you make me do it? Yeah, I'd probably have to suck you off. You probably would. As an apology.

One last suck. And then we don't crash. It's like the pornographic version of Almost Famous. Yeah. We're 69ing and the guy's like, that was just a little turbulent. Yeah, we jumped to that way too quick. We crash land and it's like an easier landing and

i like realize that we're safe you you give one more yeah i keep going oh hey that's it's and i'm like you're gay yeah holy shit dude we landed you give one more gluh i think i'm in heaven no nick keep going. We're dead. I vow to you I would jerk off with you on a plane. Okay. What about, like, we fly first class to New Orleans. Okay. To the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Share a blanket. You're doing a commercial. Che did. Che did. That's how this all started. He thinks he's part of the Mile High Club. Yes, right.

Yeah. But I'm saying you have a choice here, Nick, whether you'd rather do it on a private plane. I'm never going to set foot on a private plane. Because of John F. Kennedy Jr.? John Denver. John F. Kennedy Jr. is the one you go with? John Denver ran out of gas. Wait, you went with John F. Kennedy Jr.

is why you wouldn't fly private? I would fly private. But he was flying a prop plane himself. Yes. JFK was also flying himself, wasn't he? JFK Jr.? Yes, he was. Who's he?

John Denver was too. Payne Stewart is the one. Payne Stewart is the number one. No, John F. Kennedy Jr. is the number one. No. Crazy. He was flying private. Wait, what about Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Payne Stewart died because he was flying private and there was a leak and they all just fell asleep and died. The drummer from Blink-182? He survived. I know, but... There was a run, right? In like the 50s or 60s

when it was always... I mean, Richie Ballins and Buddy Holly? But those were like very primitive. Payne Stewart's the number one because of the way it happened. All right.

They just go up there and they all just fell asleep and died. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, they all passed out. They froze to death. No, they didn't even crash. there and they all just fell asleep and died oh i didn't know that they all passed out froze to death yeah no they're crap they flew too high yeah and yeah like there was a there was some like carbon monoxide like they like uh oh the air yeah they run out of air or something yeah fuck that's the scariest no i'm never gonna do it the last rough and rowdy or no the last time we had to go to i took a train from new york once i

think you did yeah to Pittsburgh I'm excited to have you back at Rough Around yeah yeah I'm planning outfits with Roan Mikey Betts is fighting I know he's been training here loudly

loudly loudly he walks in with his trainer and turns the music up to 12 I'm a little worried about Mikey Betts I think he's too nice of a guy he's a great guy he's going up against the Abel brothers.

I know. I love the Abel brothers, but let's not. They're not Tyson. No, I know. No, so like, Jenks is like a borderline crazy person. The guy who coached him in basketball. The guy that quit his good job. Yes, right.

After stalking us for two years. Yeah, but there's like a darkness to Jenks. Oh, really? There is not that darkness with Mikey Betts. No, Mikey Betts is too pure, but I think he'll get hit once and then he'll unleash later. He's also, his wife is with child, so he's fighting for three. Mikey Betts

is one of my favorite people. I've gone to Syracuse with Mikey Betts. I love Mikey Betts. I love Mikey Betts more than you. Are you saying that's the line right there? Mikey Betts is a great guy. I've gone to Syracuse. Oh, I... You don't go to Syracuse with enemies. That's no...

Yeah, I mean, I'm excited for that. It's going to be a great rough and rowdy. He's fighting an able brother? He's fighting an able brother. I don't know which one. I probably won't know which one until they come out. They're the worst, right? No, I like them. I don't like them. I like them. They are supremely cocky in a very funny way.

They get knocked out in very funny ways. Yes. And they also, the messages they send me where they are negotiating and they're like, have fun doing a rough and rowdy without the Ables. Wait, they have your phone number? No, it's DM. Okay. All right.

Yeah. And they always get cash off me and Dave. I've given them probably like $3,000. Oh, yeah. Oh,, give him a large sum. Every time they come into the locker room before and they're like, you said you were going to give me this. I'm like, I did? And then I just hand him cash.

It was my number one podcast on Spotify, Wrapped, the Able Brothers podcast. Yeah, when I found their podcast and the first title was George Floyd, I was like, this is going to be a ride. I think the second was China. It was just China. China, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm a big Able Brothers guy.

They are electric. Yeah, no, I'm rooting for Mikey Betts. 100% rooting for Mikey Betts. I'm just saying the Able Brothers are electric. They're great villains. I mean, when I watch Rough and Rowdy, I like watching them get their ass kicked. And the way they fight is just always so, so entertaining.

Which Abel was he fighting? I don't know. But they're very interchangeable. Yeah. Well, one has a nickname, right? The White. Uh-huh. No, El Blanco.

El Blanco. You want the Spanish name? Yeah, something like... I can't remember what it is. How long are you going to be in Wheeling for? The exact length of Rough and Rowdy. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember what it is. How long are you going to be in Wheeling for? Eight hours. The exact length of run around. Yeah.

Yeah. Or is that thing we have video? Is your straight dad coming? Oh, yeah. He'll be there. Nice. He'll be there. Is he going to be there?

Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there?

Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there?

Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there?

Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there?

Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Is he going to be there? Do some straight stuff. I'll pitch it to him. Yeah, let my dad fly back in my stead. Oh, we have the parking video. No way.

Let's see it. These guys are eating Cheez-Its for no reason. Che's also eating the slowest. Look how many is still left. Oh. Che dubbed himself as a good Cheez-It eater, right? So right now, Jacob has three cups. Is that memes dressed up?

Yeah. He looks great. Take his, yeah. Jacob's got three cups down? Two cups down? Just drink it like a cup, right? Che's barely moving. Why are they?

Yeah, just like, you'd inhale a bunch of them. Yeah, he isn't moving very fast. Oh, he's making a pyramid of his cups. I'm very happy that we didn't center the entire show around this, because it would have been so painstakingly boring. Yeah. Is Jacob struggling though?

I think we should up the stakes. Make him compete. Speedy. Well, maybe we give him a 10 minute warning at the end. Does he bet? Where do they win it? These guys don't give a fuck.

Year supply of Cheez-Its in a trash can. That's pretty good. They have to take lump sums. Cheez-Its is great. Yeah, but they take lump sum. Oh, like not in boxes. It all comes in a trash can. Oh, all they take lump sum. Oh, like not in boxes.

It all comes in a trash can. Oh, no. Is he praying? He found religion. Yeah, he did. Has he run the gauntlet? Jacob? Yeah. I believe.

He ran it when the interns tried. He got seven minutes. Oh, that's right. Should we give him an official one after this? Yeah. Oh, both of them got to run it with bellies full of cheeses. I like that. Zack Abel is the Assassin King.

Spencer Abel is Muerta Blanca. Muerta Blanca, yes. Is that White Death? White Death? Is it White Death? Muerta is Day of the Dead. But what's their combined record? Oh, in like nine?

No, one of them won one. Oh, yeah, one of them did win one. It's two and two, I believe. Oh. I think Spencer's 0-4. Which one is Betts fighting? Probably Spencer, the bigger one. Well, Betts is trimmed down a lot.

True. Looks good. Zach is the bigger one. Yeah, he's hard to recognize. Zach is listed at 6'2", 29. Spencer's 5'10", 158. And, yeah, who's Mikey Betts fighting? I don't know.

I'm looking at an old. 5'10", 158? Yeah. Those are fat boys Betts fighting? I don't know. I'm looking at an old. 5'10", 158. Those are fat boys. Yeah, take the over on that. That's not his dimensions. Have you seen them, Kyle? Maybe they're, are they not fat? They are fat.

They are, yeah. They're flabby. They're flabby, yeah. They're like. They're like me. Soft. They kind of look soft. Doughy is how I would put it.

Doughy, yes. Gently doughy. But I, yeah, I'm an able guy. I can't, there's nothing else I, there's something about them. I mean, we knew right away when they opened their mouth and they had that Pittsburgh accent. Oh, the strong. Yeah. They are just the perfect yinzers.

Do people, like, actually talk like that there? Oh, yeah. Like a lot of people? Not really Pittsburgh properburgh proper but kind of outside yeah i love it it's such a great accent i think accents are going away i love it you love it yinz saying yinz that's the best part of it and that yinz going south side stillers is good okay yeah that's i i mean i love it there's something about pittsburgh i just love i think it really comes down to the fact that all their sports teams have the same colors i said this before but like i just like picture a bunch of yinzers just sitting there like in a hockey game being like yeah it's it's the ice stillers yes yeah that's how it's summer still

is while they're watching the pirates yeah it's just the stillers are playing yeah and it's like a iron on tommy maddox jersey for everything yes right right do you think pittsburgh would be it the other thing i love about pittsburgh is like sports are obviously not life. Life is more, you know, it's very important, but there's bigger things in the world. But I do think Pittsburgh, if they didn't have the Steelers, would just not be a city. It's already small. There would be it would die in a year. Yeah. Like to pit the Steelers are just like that is like the staple of Pittsburgh.

I know ironworking and everything like that, but like the Steelers being as dominant as they were for that stretch basically created an entire city. I don't know where those people would go. Yeah. Kenny would. Kenny would. Kenny would and have pierogies.

Yeah. And they travel so well, although they also are dispersed, but like every road game. Remember like the Chargers a few years ago, they played a Sunday night football game. They travel so well. I don't think they travel. I just think they're everywhere. Yeah, I think everyone leaves Pittsburgh.

I think the Pittsburgh people are like that. They just choose Steelers. Yeah, something about Pittsburgh. I've always loved Pittsburgh. Yeah, they're filthy people. They're just the horrific people oh they're good they're good people no great people are you thinking yeah i'm like no they're they're rude people but they have an edge to them and they have the pittsburgh toilet oh they don't care in the basement Yeah, we watched Donnie shit in one.

Well, no, Donnie got stage fright. So, Kyle, you had to shit in it. I did. That's a toilet with no walls, right? It's a toilet in the basement? Yeah, when you get home from the mines, there's a shower head and then the toilet right next to it. Jesus.

Jesus? That's a great invention. It's a fun way of life. I had one growing up. No, I think what Jesus like, that's great invention way of life yeah it's just i had one growing up no i think what jesus like that's like that's a hard life that's a hard the minds are hard life yeah yeah that's not like that put that on a quote card you should work in a mine no i should not yes no i'm not working oh my god purple hard his long thin arms going up to get them. You'd be good. No, I'm not working in a mine. I would not.

Also, it's bad for you too. Not one day. Oh, one day in a mine? I do it. Oh, you meant like. Oh, I'd love to see you. Oh, I do a mine for one day. You would definitely like the miner hat would fall off your head and then the whole thing

would collapse. Oh no. The miner hat would go down. I would love to. I love experiences. I would do that for a day in a heartbeat. Let's do it. Yeah, sure. Why would do that for a day in a heartbeat. Let's do it. Yeah, sure.

Why don't you do a version of Dirty Jobs? So we're doing something similar to that. I'm going to interview and talk to different business owners. Owen and I are doing it. That's not Dirty Jobs. Not at all. That's Undercover Boss. That's called being a reporter.

Oh, that's just Boss. You're doing 60 Minutes. The first person I'm going to talk to is a record shop owner. I guess I could work in the record shop. There's still a record shop? Yeah. There's no part of that since 30. I guess records are better.

What? We have a record player. You don't have a record player? I have a record player. Same, there you go. Yeah. My kid has a record player. That's the Mr. Rogers.

Sniper. What's that? Mr. Rogers Pittsburgh It's like a Mr. Rogers thing, you should do that Awful statue What do you want me to do? He has what, 125 confirmed kills? I always confused him with Bob Ross Wasn't Bob Ross like a drill sergeant? Neither one of those

They're made up but I just love the fact that Mr. Rogers was not in the army. No, I know, but there's like a popular rumor online that he wore his cardigan because he was covering up all his tattoos. He skull fucked someone in a pillbox. He was one of the greatest snipers America's ever had. He killed like little

Vietnam children. That sucks that mass believed rumors don't really I know people away from us Sierra was a man there was a man Marilyn swallowed all the cum yeah Marilyn Manson sucked his own dick got removed internet ruined Rod Stewart the gerbil Richard that's

Richard remember you go to a bar you have a bar fight you talk to him and then like there was no way to prove who was right or was wrong yeah you just scream for hours but the same thing because we've known if it's had our headphones oh if I have a disagreement it's three seconds to I'll look it up You talk to them, and then there was no way to prove who was right or who was wrong. So you just scream for hours, but the same thing because none of us had phones yet. If I have a disagreement, it's three seconds to I'll look it up, and then it's back to camaraderie.

That sucks. This was great. You'd fight for like four hours. And it ended up like both of you were somehow wrong. Yeah. Yes. We need those days back. Let's get to Purple Hats in a sec.

Game time. Did you know you can get tickets to Cardinals and Cubs next week? Right now, only $35. That's right. Thanks to Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Shouldn't have to worry when you buy tickets to your next big event. Game time is a fast and easy way to buy tickets to all the sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. They have flash deals for sudden discounts, zone deals for when you're feeling flexible,

and their lowest price guarantee, which means that if you can find the same seats for less anywhere else, Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference. Game Time is the best place for last-minute seats with up to 60% off your favorite events. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app. Create an account. Use code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply.

Download the Game Time app today. Last-minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. We're also brought to you by our friends at shady rays get ready for the season with the official sunglasses brand of barstool sports shady rays our friends have you covered with their newest and boldest premium polarized shades they're kicking off their most anticipated release of 2024 with a limited edition debut of their rival collection this is a new single lens style and barstool blue with a premium stool and stars lens etch and if you're looking for something more casual the classics are also

getting the barstool treatment both these styles are perfect for all day everyday comfort and performance they have hundreds of options to choose from so you're bound to find the perfect pair for your style if you don't love your shades exchange for a new pair return them worry-free within 30 days has no's no risk with Shady Rays. Their team always has your back. With personal and fast support, head to ShadyRays.com. Use code YAK35 for 35% off. Polarized sunglasses.

YAK35, 35% off. Polarized sunglasses. I'm ready to call Cheez-It Day a bust. What is going on? I don't even think we should call this Cheez-It Day. Che is leaning back. Oh, no. He does look like he's dying.

But all the cups are still there. He's had 300 Cheez-Its and he's out. All right. We'll let them keep doing this. Can I, Kyle, if you could help, can we make a Cheez-It Day for next week that's worthy of Cheez-It Day? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. This. Love that. We're going to do a Cheez-It Day. A real Cheez-It Day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. This. Love that. We're going to do a cheese a day. A real cheese a day. Yeah.

This was nonsense. Absolutely. This is horseshit. They're both struggling. Look at Che. He doesn't do that. The whole thing was like, Che says, I can eat cheese. It's better than anyone.

Yeah. I don't think they're struggling. They don't seem like they give a fuck. They're not trying. Yeah, they're not. Che's struggling. No, Che's struggling. Let's see. You can tell. He's getting don't think they're struggling. They don't seem like they give a fuck. They're not trying. Yeah, they're not. Jay's struggling. No, Jay's struggling. Let's see.

You can tell. He's getting caught in his cheeks or something. I don't, let's not even show this anymore because I don't want people to confuse it with the real Cheez-It Day. Yeah, right. Oh, look at him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is struggle.

He's had 300 Cheez-Its. Okay, well, let's not show them anymore, but at the end, we'll, we'll, like, we've been watching them the whole time? Yeah. Okay. That sounds familiar. Hmm time yeah okay that sounds familiar what does that sound familiar about

popcorn day I was on a stream and Dave started off and no one saw me but I thought I was being I completely forgot about that so did I where are you at

with Dave these days because you do have a very good healthy rivalry yeah some rivalry he's worth you know hundreds

millions it's not about money it's not about money no it's two middle aged men that I think just like to take shots at each other yeah y'all are old yeah Yeah, some rivalry. He's worth hundreds, millions, hundreds of dollars. It's not about money. It's about money. No, it's two middle-aged men that I think just like to take shots at each other. Yeah, y'all are old. Yeah, I think that's all it is. Just grumpy middle-aged men.

How old are you? 44. Okay. Oh, you're younger than Brandon? No. Yeah, I am. I'm seven months younger than Brandon. Yeah, I was born first.

He's significantly older than I am. That's just not true. You say these things, but it's not true. Look at my hair. I wear jaunty shirts. I dabble in video games. What was that? Jaunty? That's the wrong word.

Yeah. Old man word right there. I use hair gel. I sort of why. I have a full head of hair, too. Clemmer has his A's shoes. Seattle Supersonics has zeroes born on them. How cool is that? That is cool. That is cool. That'smer has his A's shoes. Seattle Supersonics has the year I was born on them.

How cool is that? That is cool. That is cool. That's the year they won the title. The year Brandon was born as well. Yes. In April, I was born in November.

So, you know, once again, younger. Very significantly. Not really. Yeah. Not much. Show me the Gengar. Wait, you guys were born

when Jimmy Carter was president? Yes. Holy fuck. That's how young we are. He's still alive. Yeah. Holy fuck. Yeah, our first president's still alive. Your first president? Dead as fuck. Yep. That's correct. Holy fuck. That's how young we are. He's still alive. Yeah. Holy fuck. Yeah, our first president's still alive.

Your first president? Dead as fuck. Yep. That's true. Reagan. Reagan. You know who else was born? One of the Barstow employees born in 1979?

Joey Camasta, probably. That's correct. Wow. Yeah, show us again, Gar. So tell us what you got for us. Well, first I got the Colorado hat. Yeah. Now, I don't think this should count as a Rockies hat.

It doesn't. Okay, good. Okay. Because what does it a Colorado baseball club? So it says Coors Field. Oh, no, that's not a Rockies hat. And in fact, the year on it is 1995, which is the year Coors Field opened. 93 was the first year of the Rockies. Oh, that's definitely

not. That's a Coors Field. You can't get another Coors Field hat. That was mine. Was the person at Coors Field when you got it? Yeah, I have a video of it. I don't know if you can maybe search my tweets. That was from a girl, right? It was a girl, yes. You got a girl hat?

Yeah, he creeped her out. Oh, no. Yeah, look at him. I have to buy a purple hat from somebody in every single state. I'll give you $30 cash. Thank you for attending today's show. $35. I can get $40 cash to have right now. Oh, my God.

I didn't hear about that ad. Arm looks good. It's my final offer. You take it. $40. Yeah, Rebel Hut! That, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's go!

Play that again because just that part. Yeah, purple hat! I just want to say. Yeah, purple hat! That was very special. Yeah. That was very, very special. It was like a character.

Yeah, purple hat! Purple hat! Yeah, purple hat! Wow hat. Yeah, purple hat. Wow. That was very natural, too. That was honest excitement. That person would have given it to you anyway as a tax write-off. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah, purple hat. In front of a baseball stadium, too. Okay, so you got Colorado. Yes. Yeah, so I have the Coors Field hat. Okay. And then this week, last weekend, I got Gengar. Okay. So you got Colorado. Yes. Yeah. So I have the Coors Field hat. Okay. And then this week, last weekend, I got Gengar.

Yeah. And this hat does more than was even shown. So this is the Gengar hat here. Sure. It is a pretty, is it filthy? Yes. I will not put it on. This is disgusting.

So this man wore this a lot. He wore it a lot. So it does a couple things. First off. Great. Hello. It does this. It can make.

You can make each ear wiggle. And then. Those are his arms, I think. Oh, no. No, no. Those are his ears. No, those are his arms. Those are his arms?

Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah, you're right. I should know better than to argue with you about anything, Pokemon. Sounds like you don't know this hat. I know it's purple. And then it lights up. What?

Yeah. See? That is... Oh, my God. And now show the video again because it's so good you have to watch it again. That has the same dinginess to it.

He was sucking on those little tats. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those hit the bottom of his toilet at some point. Yes. Oh, he's flapping. I will give you $40 cash right now for that hat. For my Kangar. I know it's a very nice hat.

I can give you $60 cash right now. All right. Clemmer, he was about to take off his hat for $40. I don't know if he was. Look. He was. So people have said this. So this may have been the first time. I think I've done pretty well

negotiating so far. Why didn't you go to 50? Him flapping it like that as he turned around is so great. I saw something in his eyes that said he really didn't want to get rid of it, so I thought I had to kind of bowl him over. I can give you someone in every single state all across America. I will give you $40 cash right now for that hat.

For my Gengar. His hand's already open. There. It's a really nice hat. I can give you $60 cash right now. Before you said $60, he was taking it off. No, that's fine. What is this called again? A Gengar. A Gengar. And your name? Paul.

Paul, I'm Chris. Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. Your jersey is off the list. Gengars go to Chicago. He turns into a different person after he gets the hat. I'm so happy. When I get the hat, I am so happy. It's like relief. It's excitement.

It's a great moment. And so are you being strategic about, because this will be like a pretty big budget production once it gets down to the final five. Are you being strategic about those final five? So if you saw one in Californiaifornia and you're like in sacramento yeah would you be like maybe i should hold on fuck no the only i'm strategic about is uh is budget i tried to like i went to new jersey's pretty close to me i probably shouldn't have gotten to 60 there that's the first time i'm like i fucked up there um how much do you have left i'm 30 $30 under budget so far. Okay. So, yeah, I spent $270 so far.

So I'm doing – I should have – the Jersey one, I definitely – that's the first time I'm like, ah, I overstepped there. What's your Venmo? It's – I think it's – let me see here. I just got it recently because everyone in New York has one. You know what I mean? People have it. Yeah. Like Brandon probably doesn't have one. I have one. You know what I mean? People have it. Yeah.

Like, Brandon probably doesn't have one. I have one. Oh, fuck. When it comes to money, Brandon's going to get his. Yeah, Brandon. Don't worry about Brandon. It is... At Chris Clemmer.

You had to look for that? I didn't know what it was. I don't use it very often. I forgot. Christopher Clemmer? You had to look for that? I didn't know what it was. I don't use it very often. I forgot. Christopher Clemmer? No, just Chris. C-H-R-I-S? What's the longest search session that you've done that's been fruitless?

Is it this? Yeah. Okay. I need your phone number to verify. What's your phone number? No, don't say it out loud. I know. Brandon tries to be funny.

I hope this is the correct Chris Clemmer. Fuck you, Brandon. Oh, that. Because if not, this Chris Clemmer is going to have a nice day. Wow. All right, I'm sending you $1,000. That's your current budget. Oh, my God.

Okay. Wait, what are the flat? You could say the last four digits is your phone number, right? Yeah. N's in nine. Okay. Cool. Oh, you need all four?

Yeah. Yeah. Last four. You have to type it in Yeah You don't know the last four digits Of your phone number No I do No

You don't I do He's sending it to you Oh he's texting it to me Yeah Got it Alright got it You've probably already said too much

Saying it ends in nine Yeah Probably Fucked Someone's gonna crack that Yeah Alright I'm just texting

You get a thousand dollars now So you tell me when you're – what was our decided number, 2,500? Yeah. I thought it was 2,719. No, it was 2,500. Oh, those are just the last four digits of your number. Thanks, guys. I'm having a lot of people who want money from me now

apparently oh yeah you can't bring up that you can't say you're in mall yeah so you'll get a couple like random 69 cents yeah

some people somebody gave me some money other people want it oh wow yeah wait so how long are you in town for Clever

I leave late tomorrow not late tomorrow tomorrow night got it yeah you're welcome to come back on the extra I'd love to come back

and talk more about race are you going to try to get another hat? No, I don't have time this time. We're doing an ad tomorrow morning. Oh, yeah, you're in that. You can't sneak up to Wisconsin at any point? You got your... I want...

So here's what I want to do really badly. Yeah, what's next? I'd love to go to Wisconsin before the end of baseball season because I want to go to a Brewers game and I get a purple hat. They're fun. A win-win. What are you learning? I haven love to go to Wisconsin before the end of baseball season because I want to go to a Brewers game and I get a purple hat. They're fun. A win-win. What are you learning?

I haven't been in that stadium yet. What are you learning about purple hats? Well, one thing I'm learning about is Colorado. It's incredible. I love Colorado. I think I want to retire out there. There's no humidity. I went to the Rocky Mountain National Park.

It is so beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love Colorado so much. It's like most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It is... I loved Colorado so much. It's like I really fell in love with the state. Do you think you'll retire there? I'd like to. I think about it. I don't know. And I guess it's not... The snow is not that bad.

It snows, but then the next day it's like 70 and it's gone. Yeah, it's a sunshine state. They say more sun there than anywhere else, right? I just... I went to Utah right before I got hired and I didn't really like utah well this isn't really for me uh colorado completely won me over yeah i i went to red rocks oh my god uh the avid brothers oh i love the avid oh very good yeah wow yeah no colorado's awesome i mean i was just enamored with it um i love it so much so that's been fun like obviously we're going anyway anyway. Look at that. That's incredible. Yeah, no, it's awesome.

The mountains in the background, it's so awesome. It's awesome. But I like the idea of going to different states and seeing different things, especially different baseball parks. Oh, I'd hope so. So what's your next state? Yeah. So I have to go to New Hampshire.

Actually, you know how I had the tattoos? Yeah. We're meeting all four of us. The guy that I want to be leonardo we're all having a dinner uh next month to see if he could be leonardo yeah i think i think i've persuaded the other two guys to be okay with having leonardo they've never met him no no we all went to school together there was a fistfight at a school bus sophomore year high school and because of that they say he shouldn't be leonardo i'm like that's not. He fought them? How long ago? 1995.

And when did you get the tattoos? Our 20th high school reunion, so 2017. So, but you haven't had a Leonardo? No. But I have somebody that I think should be Leonardo, and they agree, but there's been some bad blood. I think we're going to iron it out next month. Who are you?

I'm Chris Clemmer. I'm Raphael. Raphael's best. Can we have an open competition for Leonardo? Well, no. We have a Leonardo now this person chooses not to be Leonardo then at that point then there could be something can we do finding Leonardo as a show yeah well we're having I'm having dinner with them well right but if he let's say he says no which I believe his wife is okay maybe not gonna be on board with oh she's a bitch well why I don't she? Actually, I knew her back in high school. I haven't spoken to her since she's old enough to vote. Whoa.

18? Yeah, I knew her when she was 17. That's weird. So I haven't talked to her in like 30 years, 25 years. So I don't know

if she is. I believe that someone had... Is there a chance she's a fucking bitch? I'll put it this way. I think he had to eat like the pill form of her placenta.

And no guy wants to do that on his own. Let me put it this way. I think he had to eat like the pill form of her placenta. And no guy wants to do that on his own. Let me put it this way. Swallow it or eat it? You're saying a lot now. It's a lot, right? Yeah. If you put it that way.

She made him eat her placenta? Yeah, like in pill form. What? You can do that? Like, this guy can't be Leonardo. That's not Leonardo. What do you mean in pill? Like, for medical reasons?

No, no, no. I guess they say he can be. It's like a superfood. It's like contains all the best nutrients ever. So people dry them out. You can't have your Leonardo having womb on the breath. No. Oh.

Oh, dude. But he really should. You know, if you go back to. It feels like you're forcing this on the other guys, though. I have been. So I don't think this is Leonardo. I think they're going to find Leonardo. He's not Leonardo.

Well, no, I'm forcing. No. Okay. So they all agree that he probably should be Leonardo. But there was some bad blood with that fist fight in the school bus. So look, we're all having dinner. And so I'll be in New Hampshire. I'm going to drive up.

So I might do Kirk show. I got to see if he's going to be around that day. And then so I might be in Massachusetts. Might be in New Hampshire. I'm going to drive up. So I might do Kirk Show. I've got to see if he's going to be around that day. So I might be in Massachusetts. I might be in New Hampshire. So those ideally would be probably – Connecticut? Yeah. Oh, Connecticut.

I could take a train there. So I was going to do that in August as well. So that's on the table as well. Just try to hit all of New England. Yeah. So Connecticut, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts, I'd love to have all done by the end of August. That's the goal.

Okay. I still am stuck on this Leonardo. I can't get over this. That's the goal. Okay. I still, I'm stuck on this Leonardo. I can't get over this placenta much. Has he showed any interest in joining the Turtles? He doesn't know about it. Wait, so how? You're going to spring it on him at dinner? Do you know he'd get a tattoo?

What now? Do you know that he would get a tattoo? I said the wife thing. I don't know. I don't know. What do you think she would do? If you put a gun to my head, I would say she's going to say,

fuck no. Forget about the wife. Yeah, she's a placenta person. That's fucked up. Do you know that he will get a tattoo? Like, left to his own devices. I mean, this is a very good friend of mine when I was in junior high and high school. I haven't, you know.

Can I see the Raphael? Yeah, yeah. I think, I just don't know why he's UV. I don't know what a leg it's on. Feels like you're skipping some steps doing this dinner. Like, he hasn't really qualified yet. It's past performance, Brandon. He has.

It's the friendship from the past that represent the turtles, not necessarily the present. What if we curate some fellas? I have talked to the guys. You and the guys each spend a night with them. Yeah. And we could do a reality show. Yeah.

I would be sad if he decides not to be Leonardo. But if he decides not to be Leonardo, then we have to move on. But does he have Leonardo tendencies? Yeah, he kind of was. In some ways, he kind of was the leader. And then we also found out, too, like, behind everyone's back, he was, like, talking shit about all of us. This is not Leonardo!

You can't give it to him! Wait, and who did he fight? He fought Michelangelo. Wow. And Michelangelo... Wait, to completion? Michelangelo... No one died.

Did someone get walloped? Someone got his nose smacked. Michelangelo popped Leonardo on the nose pretty well and everyone because leonardo is more popular everyone said leonardo won but a bunch of us you know a few of us said no that's not true michael angelo well did mikey throw the first punch yes what was it about do you remember leonardo talking shit oh and being a shitty friend what was he saying about you like he was telling the cool friends that you guys were dweebs or what yeah it's like oh or you know this like probably i'm sure like annoying you know or

whatever whatever you would say about me and then he's saying the kind of same shit about oh you know michelangelo's always like hanging on and kind of being a leech was there any vaginal crossover no no okay that's good yeah there was vaginal crossover with crossover with Leonardo and my best friend in high school. Who's not a turtle. Why isn't your best friend a turtle? Because he's not in that group as much. But neither is Leonardo. He was, but in junior high he was.

You got to forget, like, this guy isn't Leonardo. I'm so mad about this. He should not be eating with you. I'm so mad about this. He's apologized. I think you're just trying to fill a void. I'm so mad about this. He's apologized. I think you're just trying to fill a void. I think you're trying to fill a void. I'm so mad about this Leonardo thing.

I want to get a shredder and have Brandon get a bebop and a rocksteady. We beat the fuck out of him. Yeah, we showed you dinner. No, no, no, no. We're going to jump this. No, no. Oh, yeah. KB's be crang.

We're going to fuck you up. Oh, yeah. We're going to fuck you up. KB would be crang. Yeah, he's... We're going to jump this. Yeah. No, no. Oh, yeah. KB's be cranked. We're going to fuck you up. Oh, yeah. We're going to fuck you up. KB would be cranked. Yeah, he would. No, he's... Remember the crank toy? You could put him on your pinky and walk around with him?

I used to love the toys. Yeah. You're changing the subject here. Oh, yeah. You are. We're going to do undercover wallop at this restaurant. No. We're going to pose as staff.

He's not a bad guy. I'm going to be the hostess. No, he... You said he beat up your friend. No, no. My to oppose his staff. He's not a bad guy. I'm going to be the hostess. No, he- You said he beat up your friend. No, no. My friend beat him up. My friend beat him up. And he talks shit behind everyone's back.

True. And he married a nagging bitch. Well, we don't know that. We don't know that. Has he made up for it in adulthood in any way? Yes. He's apologized. But like, has he done anything for you guys?

Wait, he apologized he got beat up? He got beat- He apologized for- This guy sucks. Wait, maybe he's a bitch. No, Wait, he apologized he got beat up? He got beat, he apologized for being a bitch. Wait, maybe he's a bitch. No, not for the fight. Yeah. Not for the fight. He apologized for like being so shitty the fight was caused.

He's not deserving of, that's, Leonardo, arguably the most important turtle. No. He's just the leader. Leader doesn't mean most important. I mean, leader's pretty goddamn important. Who's leading without him? I mean, sure, Donatello. You have an argument for being the...

I think Donatello is... Donatello's my favorite turtle. Donatello is... Of course he is, you fucking nerd. ...is the best human... Like, is best... Has the best human qualities... Best qualities, best turtle qualities.

I don't know what to say. Leonardo, Donatello's the best human. But you know what I'm saying, though? Like, he has the best, like, intention. I feel like Donatello's, like, the best of them.llo's the best human. You know what I'm saying, though? He has the best intention. I feel like Donatello's the best of them. He's the best guy. Yeah. Yeah.

And sure enough, in our group, Donatello is the best. No, Raph is just misunderstood. Raph is the worst guy. No, Raph's... Misunderstood. Oh, yes, thank you. He's rude but crude. Do you want somebody that encapsulates the personality of Leonardo?

No, it was more just about like what it represents like who is kind of in charge it's a square square peg in a round hole how do you represent ralph in my group i i was like the asshole plus i was i was a lot shittier when i was in junior high and high school like a lot it was the 90s and like i was also young like boys that 13 to 19 are the worst human beings. You ever do any shit pranks? No, girls 13 to 19. Shit pranks? Yeah.

You ever shit where you shouldn't? No, no. You ever poop? Shit? No. Like poop on a windshield or... You ever eat shit? No.

You ever put your hands on some shit? No. No. Dog poop stuff? No. Not poop stuff. No. What else?

Like, we threw golf balls at houses and shit. Like, vandalism. Oh. Like, shit like that. Like, why would you do that at houses and shit, like vandalism. Like shit like that. Why would you do that? It's such a shitty thing to do. Who are you beefing with right now? I don't think anyone. You always got beefed.

Always. Yeah, I know. Nate? No, it's actually pretty. No, no, Nate. Nate, I was very excited when he was doing so well at the World Series Poker. That was awesome. No, I'm not really beefing with anybody so well at the World Series Poker. That was awesome. No, I'm not really beeping anybody right now.

It's been kind of quiet time. When's the last time two people have raised their voices at each other? Oh, Pick Central, like a couple days ago. Like in an off-camera. Oh, like in New York? You're trying to get some New York gossip? Actually, it's been really – since the last couple months, it's been, like, pretty kumbaya over there.

Yeah. Yeah, it hasn't been any real grief or any real – Are you the de facto leader as, like, the oldest? No. I don't have enough tenure. Roan – if Roan was around more, he's the leader. Is Large around? He's older, right?

Yeah, but Large is, like – like, Large does kind of the large things. Like, he has his own kind of the Large things. He has his own kind of stuff that he does. Kevin's around for the big things, so we just did this LARPing thing. I think you have Leonardo tendencies. You might be more Leonardo. You might have to get the other leg. No, so that only happens when somebody dies and you get the other tattoos on you. So when Michelangelo dies,

he'll probably be the first to die because he's like shit. He doesn't take care of himself. Are you guys physically all very different? Time out. You only eat alcohol. That's not true.

You eat cider. I drink cider. What is your diet? Yeah. You guys have come with monkey boy. I don't eat that badly. I thought you consumed

via sunlight. You guys have spent time with me on the road. You guys know I don't eat that badly. I thought you consumed via sunlight. You guys have spent time with me on the road. You guys know I don't eat that badly. You eat bait. Oh, Chase. Chase holding his heart.

Chase holding his heart. Jacob's also checking his pulse on his neck. Yeah, that's... You want me to go get a check on Chase? Is this bad? Jacob's dominating them.

By the way, we've got to watch the parking lot video. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sidetracked. Clemmer, I would love to host Finding Leonardo. I'm offering to host Finding Leonardo. I will talk to you.

If this goes south in a couple weeks, I'll let you know. I think your last purple hat should be the Leonardo. Wow. What do you mean? The last person you attain a purple hat. You have to convince the person to give you the hat and get a tattoo. You know what's true about the purple hats? Women will give up the hats much more than men.

This is the first time a white guy has given up a hat. White guys do not give up hats. Do you think that's because you're such a strong, intimidating man? You know what they say about white guys. White guys do not give up their hats. No, they don't give up. They don't give up power. Yeah, parking lot video.

Forgot about it. Okay. So Jerry's already mad because his first spot was taken. Shop left, Mercedes. That's the Mercedes. What's already parked? Where's Jerry's car? He knows the Mercedes guy?

Jack is the Mercedes guy. Oh, Jack's going out. Okay. Feminine strut. Yeah. Sassy as all. World's his runway. Is this Jack leaving?

Okay. Oh, because he's parked illegally, I think. Oh. I am right now. You are? Yeah. Oh, Kate. I know.

Oh, Kate. Okay. Oh. Oh, no. Where's Jerry? Where's Jerry? This might not look good for Jerry. Yeah, because Jack seems to be in the right so far.

And what's Jerry's complaint again? Oh, here he comes. Jerry's about out of hell. Jerry was totally in the wrong. Jerry's exactly what? He didn't get cut off at all. He didn't get cut off at all. Jerry was trying to whip it and

steal his spot? Yeah. I don't know if he was trying to steal, but Jerry was ripping in. I don't know if he knew he was there. Jack was totally in the right there. He gives him the finger. Yeah, got the finger. And now he's yelling at him. Jerry couldn't have been more in the wrong.

This makes you think a lot of Jerry's interactions might be... No. No, no, no, no, no. This is the first time. at no point was i like the white mercedes is cutting off the other car that was very slow yeah but why did jack pass it up he was backing in no he ended up backing in or no he was maybe he's gonna back in yeah and then when jerry put pressure he said fuck i'll play it back so he's probably gonna back in jerry did speed up a little bit he did wait no you know what those spots are tight and sometimes you do have to go backwards to go

forward yeah yeah okay jerry it's inconclusive yeah who's Who's to say? All right, so what do we have? Right now we have, Jacob's got four cups done, so he's eaten 400 Cheez-Its. Steven, can we go large screen on Steven? He's had 300 Cheez-Its. Oh, no. He's almost finished that fourth cup.

Yeah, but Jacob's already finished his fourth. I wonder if they're going to get the mouth, like cutting up through for their mouth like we need too much cereal. I do want to see them both run the gauntlet. Captain Crunch mouth. You don't want to do Dizzy Bat? We haven't done Dizzy in a while. No.

I would love to assign somebody that they can only eat corn for a week until their shit. You can only stop eating corn when your shit's 100% corn. I like that. When do you think of that? Could that biologically happen? I 100% corn. I like that. When do you think of that? Is that possible? Could that biologically happen? I don't know.

I can't imagine. You just poop out. It looks like a toilet full of corn. Yeah, I like that. Can you? I don't think you would. Yeah, of course you would. Single servings of corn have gotten me very corny pieces of shit.

I think if you just eat corn for like two days straight. Two days straight of corn have gotten me very corny pieces of shit. I think if you ate corn for like two days straight. Two days straight of corn, I think. Yeah. Of nothing but. I don't think it's going to look like straight corn, is it? I think it would look more like corn than shit. I'd agree. I concur.

Thank you. Doctor, I concur. You think it'd be, oh, that's a good, like even if it's 51% corn. When are you more corn than shit i think day two yeah you go three strong meals of corn i hate this like if they looked at it depends on the amount of corn i hate this so i think you have a can of corn for every meal i think we gotta spend one days let's spin the wheel eliminator i'm not corn shitting. You have to. I mean, yeah, I'll do it. It's going to be you.

And you can't. You're not off the hook until you are 51%. Don't think of it as corn shitting. Just think of it as eating corn for two days straight. Can I say something? Yeah. I haven't looked at my shit in a day. You're lying. Liar.

In how long? I don't look at it. That's a good measure of health. You actually should look at it. No, I'm not looking at it. You're afraid it's going to be a little too dark. God forbid it's ribboned. It just spells out you are diabetic.

I flush as soon as something happens. Interesting. Oh, no, you're supposed to look at it. It's weird. You are. It's for health. Especially as we get older, you're supposed to look at it. Brandon has diabetes.

Yeah, Brandon has a lot of problems. That's not really... He was getting his walks in today Brandon was wearing a hat what? backwards yeah cool guy Brandon

keep trying everybody nobody's supposed to see that that's not for anybody else that's just for my walk I saw that's just to keep the hair out of my eyes because when I get to walk

and it gets in my eyes I get mad and I start getting mad at my hair and I'll grab it and I'll get mad at my hair alright Stephen is really really in pain. Jacob's looking deep breaths too.

Steven brought this up. I think we go five more minutes. Suicides? No, then they have to run the gauntlet and Steven has to beat him by like a full two minutes to win the cheese it off because I don't think he's close to Jacob right now right now i think jacob's on 500 i think the loser has to run gauntlet until

they get a sub three oh i think we should void everything that's happened and just do one last full cup race oh god okay right then i i like what he said loser has to that's kind of unfair loser has to yeah that is unfair to jacob because he has he's dominated we didn't tell him to go we said whatever pace you want so they're going to jake for che they're going at a regular pace shoot i think we give him five minute warning right now loser has to run the gauntlet till they get sub three yeah yeah they stop as soon as like we won't run it to completion no no no oh my god loser has to run the gauntlet until they get sub three. Yeah. Yeah. And they stop as soon as, like, we won't run it to completion. No, no, no.

Oh, my God. Shay might die. Cheez-Its would be awful to puke. All right, I'm going to tell them both five minutes. Are they on the corn wheel? Oh, yeah, they don't. Yeah, just tell them five minutes. Remember those trading card binders that everyone had for collecting as a kid?

It was like a whole playground marketplace. Yes. Displaying, trading, judging each other's collections. Collecting has come a long way since then, but there's a new way to buy, sell, and trade cards. It's called Arena Club. Clemmer, you look very interested. I'm intrigued.

It's called Arena Club. Whether you're buying, selling, trading, or displaying, Arena Club is the all-in-one trading card platform that you have to sign up for an account at arenaclub.com slash yak. arenaclub.com slash yak. Arena Club has created a new way to grade, to collect, to sell, and to trade cards by converting the physical to digital. Display your cards in your personal online showroom or on your mobile device there's

no more shipping delays and cards lost in transit when you buy arena club uses blockchain technology to deliver your card immediately you can buy with confidence knowing every card on arena club is guaranteed authentic right now you can get 10 off your first purchase by going to arena club.com slash yak that's arena club.com slash yak for 10% off your first purchase. Okay, TJ, can you put a five-minute warning, a five-minute clock up when Steven gets back? I said five-minute warning. He goes,

can I go pee? And I was like, why? He's like, it'll open up a room. Uh-huh. Do they know the stipulations? They don't know the three-minute column. Well, I think they need incentive to eat as fast as possible in the last half of the game.

There's got to be some kind of... Three and a half. 3.30. 3.30. Three is a pretty good time. This is the yak with Big Cat. You don't have to ask

me a single question. Three? Three, yeah. Big Cat roar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they going to swear at it? This is where it happens.

It's not like torture. Jacob will never get a three-minute gauntlet. I haven't seen him play. What's his problem? Well, Jacob's not going to lose. What's his problem with a gauntlet? You look professional as hell right now. He really does.

It's a hand in the pocket. It will start as a three-minute gauntlet, and then every time they fail, they can get ten extra seconds. So there will eventually be an ending. Yeah. Fair. I love that.

Yeah. Okay. It's not they though. It's only going to be one guy. Well it's not going to be Jacob. Che's dying. Yeah. We got to make

Yeah. Why don't we just say Che now? We definitely want Che to run the gauntlets and not Jacob right? Yeah. We like Jacob. Old Chuck.

Chuck J. Oh, yeah. Clemmer. Che is going by Chuck. Yeah, I saw that yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. So just...

He wanted to be the television character? Is that right? No, no. He just thought it was a cool name. Snazzin' it up. Exotic. You're thinking of My Name is Earl. No, I'm thinking of Chuck.

Jason Lee. You're thinking of My Name is Earl. All right, start the clock. Is he a Pittsburgh guy? Possibly. Scientologist, sneakily. You know, the best Pittsburgh movie is She's Out of My League.

What other Pittsburgh movies are there? No, Sudden Death. I haven't seen Sudden Death. Best Van Damme? Yeah. Fish that Saved Pittsburgh. Yeah. Also, wouldn't Batman with Bane.

Who's the favorite son of Pittsburgh? Kurt Angle. Andy Warhol. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Yeah. It's a very, very good museum. It's neat.

Mattress Factory. I don't know. I think so. It's a fake shopping center in there. It's like balloons floating around. It was some good stuff there. Aaron Donald. I got rejected from the University of around. It was some good stuff there. Aaron Donald. I got rejected from the University of Pittsburgh.

It was my number one school. Did you really? Yeah. Why? I was dumb. Are you the only person? Number one school was Pittsburgh? Yeah.

Mine was Mississippi State. Good school. My parents couldn't afford out of state, so I was like, I'm going to go as far away as I possibly can. You could have gotten further. Pittsburgh. Erie? Is there a school in Erie?

Is Duquesne in Pittsburgh? Oh, yeah. Duquesne have gotten further. Pittsburgh. Erie? Is there a school in Erie? Is Duquesne in Pittsburgh? Oh, yeah. Yes. Pittsburgh. Yep. Jacob looks like he's struggling. Clemmer, who was your favorite 1970s Pittsburgh Pirate? Whoa.

You got to say Roberto Clemente, but I mean, right answer is probably Dave Parker. No, I think you have to say Roberto Clemente. No, you don't. I said 70. I said 70. No, I said 70s. Clemente only played. No, you don't. Wait, Stargell? I said 70. I said 70. No, I said 70s. Clemente only played two years in the 70s. But it's your favorite.

It's Stargell. It's Stargell. It's Stargell, yeah. But it's your favorite. Not Stargell. The answer starts there. My favorite, like Dave Parker, that's the one I saw play. I wasn't.

Oh, the Rattlesnake. Cobra. That's right. Oh, man. I was setting him up to do that. You've been to a ball game there? I have. It's my second favorite stadium I've ever been to.

What's number one? Camden Yards. Wow. Yeah. PNC is awesome. It's great. Who's going to win the NL Cy Young? Paul Skeens.

So if Skeens pitches at this pace, he'll have 140 innings by the end of the year, and that would be enough to win, I think. He wouldn't qualify for the array title, but that would be enough. What if Scooble gets traded to the Dodgers? Then he won't win either way. Yeah, I know. I'm going to fuck with my Cy Young. Scooble's your pick?

Yeah. Someone handed it to me when I was in Detroit. If he gets traded to the Dodgers, you're fucked. If he gets traded to the Orioles, you could be in good shape. I would think I'd be in very good shape. Yeah. Have there been guys to win the mvp or the cy young that got traded to one who suckler yep during the season 84 yeah he was bad with the

indians and then great with the guy yeah which is crazy you know then he won the nl setting on it's crazy william mckee he qualified no he would have won the batting title in both leagues. No, he won the batting title in the NL. He was traded on August 31st, and he already had enough at-bats to qualify. So even though he finished the year in the AL. And I'll be honest with you guys. There was a dude who led both leagues in home runs in the same year. I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.

Are you being honest? Yes. It must have been, like, way back when. Like the 1910s. I appreciate your honesty. Thank you. Are you being honest? Yes. It must have been like way back when. Like the 1910s. I think it was. I looked it up. Yeah. I don't know if he's being honest. He might be. I trust him. Guys would do eight home runs back then. Cecil and Prince have

the same amount of home runs. 319. That's crazy. I need a number. Clem, did you see that? He did. It's very good. I've been doing this thing on TikTok where I open a pack of cards.. 319? Crazy. That's crazy. I need a number. Clem, did you see that? You did. It's very good. I've been doing this thing on TikTok where I open a pack of cards. I am obsessed with it. And then you put the one who's the best on your forehead. Yeah, whoever has the best career is on my forehead.

And then I go to the whole pack, whoever wins, wins. And they've been doing it for me pretty well on TikTok. I watch everyone, and I don't know a single player. People like them. It's fun. It's fun to do. I'll check those out. Yeah.

You know what game I can't stop playing? It's that college football game. I was up until 2 a.m. last night. Is this a stand-up set? No. You heard about this new college football game? No. No, I was talking to him because I know he plays it.

I've got to send this to someone. I was up until 2 a.m. last night. I got three hours of sleep because I just couldn't put it. I got ranked. I'm Hawaii, and I was ranked. I got so excited. I don't even like college football. How's recruiting going?

It's okay. I've gotten a couple four-star recruits. I've never even had access to a five-star. Why isn't Hawaii better at recruiting? That's my whole thing. That's why I took them. They don't play good competition? Well, don't you have to travel?

The travel would have to suck. There's not that many road games. No, but there's a lot of college kids are like, they want their family to watch. So there is that element of the game that recruiting is like proximity to home, and I always get fucked on that. Yeah. But the game is so much fun.

I said I don't even like college football. It's so much fun. Oh, my heavy-hearted bad. It was a pitcher who led both the AL and NL in shutouts in the same year. Who was it? What year? My heavy-ed bed. I feel like I said I was going to be honest and I thought that was true.

This is equally impressive almost. Yeah. What year? The be honest line really backfired. Yeah. 2000s and I'd rarely use that. Oh. What was the question again?

Someone led both the AL and NL In shutouts in the same year CeCe Sabathia? Yes He was so good when he went to the He started pitching every three days That was crazy with the Brewery Ted Williams never had 200 hits In a season

I knew that, walked too much Time's up Che Time's up Alright Come in here Time's up! Che! Time's up! All right. Come in here. These guys look... Do I need to set the gauntlets up?

Yeah, this was the worst competition we've ever done. We've done some really... It's okay. You don't have to... Dare I say our hit rate low? This, I mean, again, thank God we didn't spend the entire talking about this why did you guys separate them why not have them together so they're uh fights eat normally not so uh steven how many did you finish how many cups fights i finished 411 cheez-its so four cups and and a couple. Jacob? 400 from these empty cups and most of five.

More than 11. Wow. So your challenge... My challenge? You lost. I didn't challenge anyone in this. What? I don't know what you said.

I got Cheez-Its all in my gums. I didn't challenge anyone on this. I asked a question on the prep sheet. How many Cheez-Its do you think you'd eat in a day? I just thought it'd be fun fodder. I didn't anticipate to actually do it. Well, it made the episode. Did you guys check in on us a lot? Yeah. the first the first two cups were no problem that's what they say

absolute night they always say yeah the first two cups are first two cups of 100 cheeses no problem do you want to know what you're playing for i guess so yeah what am i playing well i i told you, you won't get to stop doing the gauntlet until you get under three minutes. I'm going to just fucking break the record. Okay. Jacob, great work. Jacob, yeah. Physical symptoms?

My heart rate started elevating. I saw you checking pulse. Yeah, I was. And then you were checking pulse at the same time. It's a lot of sodium, I bet. Yeah. It's a heart going. I did the math. After I completed 400 yeah it was a heart i did the math after i completed 400 it was

2,222 calories that's not as bad as i thought that's pretty gross in an hour that's like more than a day well that's all i'm gonna eat today oh he just gave the brows i want it on the record i haven't shit today okay uh it is officially on the record yep I haven't shit today. Okay. It is officially on the record. Yep. Make sure, TJ. Graphic. Put that on the record. I also didn't know, so I was drinking water.

Were you drinking a lot of water the whole time? Yeah, I finished a bottle and then some. You needed it because it was too dry. It was very salty. But then when I'm like 300 deep, someone in the cave was like, oh, drinking water is really bad for that because it will just make your stomach expand. It expands the itch. Memes, I think, said that. Yeah. It really bad for that because it'll just make your stomach expand. It expands the itch. Memes, I think, said that.

Yeah. It was tough. It would have been just as bad without water. Would you ever do this again? If you told me to, yeah. I would never ask that. You're a warrior, both of you. Next week, we're going to do it again, Cheez-It Day.

Cheez-It Day is going to be a weekly thing, but it is going to be crazy next week. I promise you that. Yeah, it's going to be. I don't got an ounce of quit in me. That's a fact. The only thing that will stop you is a date with your future wife. Is she at least out of your league?

At the very least. Yeah. Yeah? Above? You did two dates, restaurant. This shouldn't be a good match. Dinner, drinks, date one. Date two, movie, drinks.

Oh! Did you handhold? Oh, you fucked? Oh, dude! What movie? Quiet Place, day one. That movie stinks. Did you?

Oh, Jacob. I don't want to kiss until big time. I didn't ask about kissing. Jacob's actually never kissed a woman. Only fucked him. Only men. It's too personal. And my mom.

Did you like... Never mind. Never mind. What were you going to mom. Did you like... Never mind. Never mind. What were you going to say? Were you going to ask if he came inside her? Jesus Christ. Nick always asks that. That's his question.

It's a fair question. Is it Chris? Did she invite you to come inside like a vampire? All right, Jacob, congratulations on the Cheez-It win. You did a great job. You get a trash can full of Cheez-Its that will last you the year. Okay. No rush.

I might be cheesed it out for a minute. Yeah, I would say so. Well, congratulations. Thank you. I'm proud of you. I appreciate that, Big Cat. Thank you for the opportunity to prove myself. Am I good?

Yeah. Okay. Great job. Great job. Thank you. Steven? He's trembling. get to it buddy three minutes is a

is a reasonable score but I am extremely full we'll see by the way TJ while they finish setting it up do you want to spin the wheel

because this is going to be a problem wheel today and we also have a lot of people so we might as well just do it I want I want Jacob oh my god you want him as yours yeah he's he's damn good right did you see what he was doing during the home run derby he had he was

he had his own feats well he kind of fucked brandon though because brandon said that if he took a conseco off the head uh he would have had a job for life and he had two opportunities he's not the go-getter I thought he was. Clemmer, I want to wow you. Okay. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that. With baseball stuff, that'd be tough. Spin it, TJ.

Just get it. Rip it off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jesus. Oh, my God. It's dry, but now it's just Wheel reset and wet I don't think we've ever gotten to this

No That's insane Every day What This is crazy No if it lands on wet then You don't get rid of it. You don't get rid of wet.

So what happens? Like in monsoons? Every day is wet forever? So the wheel never... The wheel always has to reset, though. No, it has to... Only on wheel reset. It could land on wet seven days in a row.

I see what you're saying. The 50-50 is just in place. Yeah, we've never had a 50-50. All right, Che, you ready? So, Che, when the three minutes stop, we'll stop you wherever you are, and you have to restart. Is it a countdown? No, it's...

That was one that should never have had a question. Yes, is it a countdown? We could do a countdown. Would you like it to be a countdown? It doesn't matter one way or the other. Doesn't matter. So just do it regularly. Do it like it to be a countdown? It doesn't matter one way or the other. Doesn't matter. So just do it regularly. Do it regularly.

Yes. Exactly how we thought we were going to do it. What is Sporkle? If he gets to a Sporkle but then fails it, does he get the same Sporkle or does he get a new Sporkle? New Sporkle. Okay. Okay. Ready, set, go.

He thinks he's going to get this on the first try. Che's good at this, though. Yeah. He slowed down. We need a good Malasek. He's got a belly full of 400 Cheez-Its. That is going to be a weird poop. He said he's not going to eat anything else all day.

I don't believe that. Oh, no. He said it's so smugly. Also, that'll just make him hungry. I don't think we add the 10 seconds for Che. I think we just let him just... He said he's going to fuck around and break a record. Yeah.

Thank you, Jacob. What, he didn't get it? No. He still hasn't gotten it. Got it. Yes, Jacob? I wanted to report the final cheese account. I counted the remainder on the cup.

I ate a total of 480 cheeses. Oh, my God. That's it. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot of Cheez-Its. That's a lot. Way to go. Yes.

Oh, no. I'm so bad with numbers that I initially told Jacob to count out 2,000 Cheez-Its regionally. Yeah, it's too many. Are we even at a bonus box? There he is. He's not going to get this. And now it's going to... Oh, wrong ball.

Soft ball. He should have at least tried to shoot it. This is his strength, too. He's having a really good run. But he's also very winded. And we need to be church mice for his Sporkle. Yep. And we need to make him go again right away.

All right. You got this. Oh, boy. Oh, God. John Wilkes Booth. Wilkes Booth. Center. Center.

Defense. Damn it. Left wing. Right wing. Michael Jordan. You're on pace. Kobe Bryant. This is thrilling. Shit. You're off pace. Five Great Lakes. Erie. Oh. No. Superior.

Oh, no. Michigan. Denial. Fuck. TNT Disney. Grapefruit juice. Grapefruit juice. Tequila.

And go again. Go againfruit juice. Grapefruit juice. Tequila. And go again. Go again. Yes. Yes. That was thrilling. Get back up there, buddy. TJ, are you ready to roll again? No delay, right?

Yep. All right, let's go. All right, let's go. Go again. Got it. That was so thrilling. You guys are cruel. That was so good.

He had that. Oh, but he didn't. He didn are cruel. That was so good. He had that. Oh, but he didn't. He didn't. He didn't have it. Also, the rebounders fucked me. All right. I had no ball for at least three seconds. Ready?

No, you didn't. You're going fine. Here we go, Che. Here we go, Che. All right, here we go. That spork was made for him, Che. All right, here we go. That spork was made for him, too. Three. Three, two, one, go.

Oh, just like last time. Second bag. We need Malasek to... Holy Christ, Jay. Nice, Malasek. I need a good Malasek today. Yeah, we need him to get to like 40 seconds. Oh, no. Oh, too much.

Oh, too much. He's pissed. Yeah, I think he is. Oh, no. Yes. too much he's pissed yeah i think yes yes yeah he's now over where he was last time i believe yep do you think he's gonna give up that's my guy! You gotta fight him.

Yes! Header! He's getting desperate. He should tap out. He's dead. He's not gonna do it. What is he doing? Oh, Luke.

Oh, no. Yes. Oh, no. Point left. Oh, that's slow-mo. That's so many cheez-its right now. He can get out of this if he dizzy bat layups. Oh, right at me.

He's pissed. I bet bending over sucks. Oh, that was huge. That was enormous. He's really good. Yeah. He's burning off all the calories. That's great.

Where was he on Sporkle last time? It was like before two minutes. 210. 210 was when he started? I believe so. Whoa, so he could still be kind of on pace. I don't know. If he gets this one. Kind of dragging ass.

You got to hit this. You're still good. All right. There you go. All right. You're only 10 seconds behind pace. Come on. Okay.

Okay. Uh, Ruland Gardner. Wow. What's his name? What was the question? Oh, Patriots. Steelers. Chiefs. Chiefs, Vikings, Colts, Packers.

Fuck. Most wins whatever? Yes. Chiefs. Chiefs. Okay. How are the Chiefs not the most wins? AFC. They played in the most wins? AFC.

They played in Super Bowl I. And go back out there. Whoever made this. NFL was around. What are you talking about, Jura? The Bears have been around forever. The Bears. You got to go back for a Super Bowl check. The Giants.

Yeah, there's three Super Bowls. We're talking pre-merger? It's the NFL. NFL has been around. Lions, Browns. It's like the 20s, right? Okay, are we doing the 10-second shave because I'm feeling bad? Yeah.

I think you can do that. Oh, he said no. He wanted to add in 10 seconds. Okay. Let's go. This is going to be. What is the record? This is the perfect.

Minute 36 or something. All right. He's the perfect guy for this. He's just never going to be... What is the record? This is the perfect... A minute 36 or something? All right. He's the perfect guy for this. He's just never going to give up. He's the... Yeah. I love it. I love how this is his attitude.

Just for the record, we offered to add 10 seconds. He said, no, I'm going to break the record. Yep. All right. Is that your record? Yeah. Okay. Ready, Che?

Yeah. Set, go. Okay. Come on. Great time. You know how bad it would be for us if he does it? He is pissed. His first shot every time. Well, if he broke the record, he technically wouldn't count because he went multiple times in one day. Oh, really?

Yeah. I mean, that would, right? I mean, you can't go multiple times. I've never done the full gauntlet. What? I've done it with the mincey Shit, he's on fire right now Brandon. Don't help him. He's putting up bottles I love that he just started arguing about NFL wins. I played in Super Bowl I!

Can we do some fuckery? TJ, pull up a hardest fuck one. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see the first question? It was queef. It was an easy one. He just ran right by it.

Huge pussy guy. So the strategy is to go to the look at 10 first, I think, because if you know those. Oh, I guess so. Waste no time. Oh, shit. You got two minutes. Oh my God, Che. Man on fire. Not bullshit.

Tom Brady. Fuck. Tom Brady fuck little women come on dude oh pina colada strawberry daiquiri liberty liberty strawberry Liberty? Liberty? Strawberry.

Come on. Liberty? Shit. I don't know that. Only player to hit two grand slams in one inning off the same pitcher. I have no idea. Oh, come on. Mike Trout?

It's the only football player he knows. Nine states with a double letter? States that have a double letter states that have a double letter anywhere mississippi anyway that's gonna start like a mama missouri i got bone on the sparkle um you're going to states it's a pretty easy one there's a pretty arizona arkansas california you Just name me the ones that don't. Connecticut. Shit.

I don't know if that is. Yeah, it's right there. It's got two. Illinois. Illinois. Three more. Three NHL teams with 10 plus Stanley Cups. Five senses.

Five senses. No, no, no. NHL teams will be easier. Five senses. Five senses. No, no, no. NHL teams will be easier. Five senses. Touch. Smell. Seconds. Hearing.

He's got it. Yeah! I thought the NFL players, too. I thought you would have nailed that. Three MVPs. Peyton. Aaron Rodgers. I don't know Rodgers that threw over three.

Far have you actually gotten that. There you go. There we go. Way to go, Steven.. I didn't know Rodgers had three over three. Far have you actually gotten that. There you go. There we go. Way to go, Steven. If you didn't say senses, you was fucked. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I didn't see that one. I couldn't watch him go.

No, no, no. I'm glad you did. I had a good run on the court. The trivia. Great runs, yeah. I had a bad spot. Great job, Steven. Malicek.

What did you just type, TJ? Oh. Yeah. What? That first word's wrong. Yep. Yeah. No.

Still wrong. Still wrong. Also C. Thank you, TJ. It is. And then he's got a middle initial too What's my middle initial? E Chuck E. Cheese it today

Chuck E. Cheese it Good job Jay You burned some of those off Yeah No it felt good The second one was terrible Because once you get stopped by like a minute, by a millisecond, it's a nightmare. It's done.

Yeah. But yeah, overall, happy with that score, I guess. Did I have a shot to break the record when I came in here on the last one? You were at 104, 107, something like that? I don't think so. Okay. You're very good at it. Yeah, you're probably the best.

I think if you just studied sport goals at home. Jesus, Dan're probably the best. I think you need... If you just studied sporkles at home... Jesus, Dan. How'd you do that? I had the perfect run. Yeah, he did. He got pretty much first try or second try. All right. This was fun.

Thanks, guys. All right. So, rat race out 9 a.m. Central tomorrow? That's correct. Just the second half? The whole enchilada tomorrow. You're coming out to Stool River North tonight? That's right. How long is the video?

It's about a half hour, I think. Love it. The whole thing is an hour and ten. This first half is a half hour. I know hour and ten sounds long, but it really is. The whole thing is great. I agree. It's really good. I'm really happy

with this. Was there one team that was more magnetic and really yeah like popped off really popped off yeah white socks dave and mincy you could tell that they were no you guys were great they were great friends you guys were very funny friends yes except for the slowness of in the the attitude of one towards the other no it's pretty you guys Not realizing that the other one was older And trying his best But also not trying hard enough Trying pretty hard though I kind of migrate

I mean, that's not a spoiler, Brandon Yeah You got a migraine Yeah In the sun Wear swim trunks tomorrow, I guess Yeah Maybe clammer gauntlet tomorrow Wait Where's swim trunks tomorrow I guess maybe clammer gauntlet tomorrow clammer gauntlet tomorrow

wear swim trunks I'd love to do the gauntlet it's gonna be wet oh yeah I've never done the gauntlet I did with Mincy but I only had to do one I only needed to take one basketball shot

because I won things so I've never actually done the full gauntlet alright we'll do it tomorrow great job Che great job Jacob you're our champion it's a good yeah we had everything we do on you be uh no i know let me tell you about it though the moment everyone's been waiting for is finally here the high noon pool pack is back so grab a case text the group and get your friends to the

nearest pool it's only here for the summer so now it's time to enjoy the lime, peach, two limited edition flavors, guava and kiwi. As always, the High Noon Pool Pack is made with real vodka and real juice, has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and has no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find a pack near you. Please come to the watch party tonight, so I don't have horrible anxiety. Tickets tomorrow still for Laugh Factory? Do we still have tickets?

Yeah, yeah. Use code Bars for Chicago. Doing well. Use code Bars for Chicago. What time is that tomorrow? Che ran through his jokes with me. Wait Socks Dave ran through his whatever he wants to call them. I got ten minutes.

I got ten full minutes. Yeah, yeah. You got ten full minutes? About ten minutes. Atta boy. Hell yeah. Wow. That's hard to do.

Mook will be back. I'm going to go to that, Che. I value you as a friend and a coworker. I'm going to go to that for you. You're such a piece of shit. That's hard to do. Mook will be back. I'm going to go to that, Che. I value you as a friend and a coworker. I'm going to go with that for you. You're such a piece of shit. That's really nice. You're a piece of shit, Brandon. I'm not.

Or you, Che. It's nice you're doing it for Che. And for Nick as well. That's nice. That's nice. I'm streaming Doug's. I turn the season around to 830 tomorrow night. Congrats.

Thank you. Got better at the game. Huge. I got better at the game now at what cost? Probably 11 different employees dropping everything that they were working on. Build me a custom playbook. Everything else in this company is at a standstill. Yeah.

I walk in at like 8.30 in the morning and just one of my mutants is sitting hunched over in the studio and they're like, here, try this play. Yeah. So it works. Yeah. No, they have gone so deep in the playbook. They just have found like the plays that work and then they just hand me the controller to like run it. And it's worked. Do you have custom audibles?

We haven't gotten that far. Yeah. Relax, Jay. We're not getting crazy. Yeah. Huge. It's going to be great We're turning the program around Let's go Let's go

Committed to Washington State for the rest of this season Sounds like you're all in It's an easy school to enroll in For this year Yeah for this season For this season Okay thank you everyone Please subscribe

We'll see you tomorrow it's the act it's the act get your straws yeah it's the act it's the act it's the act yeah it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap It's the act. It's the act.

Yeah, it's time to talk shopper do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. Mostly sports. College football starts in 15 minutes. Connor, me, Nicky Smokes playing. See you there. Bye.