The Yak - Klemmer's Back After His Cross-Country Purple Hat Adventure | The Yak 8-30-24

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

Mook can't pronounce crayonYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo DJ, pull that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off first purchase Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, all at Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code Yak. What are you doing, Brandon? I was showing him a message on my phone. Can I see it

no yeah secret secrets are no fun he was in on it hooters and the blowfish oh no sorry i'm wearing the roback shorts right now the purple hat man is here hey chris klemer back from his incredible journey from New Mexico to Chicago. Clemmer. Yeah. What do you have for us? Well, I have eight hats for you guys total. Eight.

I have three from New England before and I got five in this time. I forgot about the New England hat. So eight hats. We're about to cover up some of the middle and New England. Yeah. Well, let's fucking do it and then we'll hear all about your trip. I'm excited to hear about your trip and I want to see the hats. Where the hats after all right here look hold them up i'm gonna take a picture those and what have you learned uh have you learned i've learned that it's very hard to find hats he's sniffing them what do you think

you you did a great job why is your sniffingle? Disappointingly odorless. I saw it. I didn't see the video, but did you assault someone yesterday? That's what I was told. I was so excited. The kid at Truman State gave me the hat. It had a purple hat that I slapped in the back pretty hard. Twice. Yeah.

Twice? Twice, yeah. Do we have the clip of that? I was very excited. Because it was quite something. Yeah. That's what I heard. It was in the Missouri one.

Yeah. Have any authorities checked you for it was quite something. Yeah. That's what I heard. It was in the Missouri one. Yeah. Have any authorities checked you for human trafficking? No. No. I know. Yeah. I saw that. Yeah.

It was a good Photoshop. You were kind of evasive on that one. It was a good Photoshop. You were kind of evasive. A good what? That wasn't a Photoshop. That wasn't real. That's on the internet.

We don't have the tech to make something like that. Well, whoever did, the gentleman who did. As humanity. Oh, okay. Okay, let's see. Let's see. This is real. This is no Photoshop here.

Yeah. I am going all around the country trying to buy a purple hat. Is this a cafeteria? Yes. Student center. How much? I'll give you $30 cash. $30?

$30. Let30? $30. Let's walk right in. $40. I don't know. Any more like $50, $60? Oh, wow. This kid's a Yak fan. He's trying to hose me out of money. Good.

Wait, does he know? Oh, yeah, he knew. Sure. Oh, my boy. All right. Callaway hat. I had to avoid him. Dylan.

Dylan, I'm Chris. Nice to meet you. Oh! You were pissed that right. Callaway hat. I had to avoid him. Dylan. Dylan, I'm Chris. Nice to meet you. Oh! You were pissed that he was wrong. Why did you do that? I get him again, too. Get him again? Clever!

I was so happy. I was so excited. He's a strong kid. I'm skinny. I have one damage. Oh! You cocked that shit bad. What am I going to do?

God, he's broken in half. What am I going to do to a young, strong man? You were pissed that he strong-armed you. I was a little pissed. Get him. Yeah, let's see it. No, it wasn't as hard. You hit him.

That was it. Yeah, you five-starred him. Yeah. Kill me, Chris. Yeah, it would be a disaster for you, right? That would not be good. I wouldn't do that to you. You want to hit Kate?

No, I'm saying I wouldn't. Can we get Luke in here to put up the hats or someone? Oh, no, Jacob's here. Jacob. Jacob. By the way, MVP of the trip, Jacob. Well, there are only two of you. No, no, no, no.

No, that's not true. We encountered many people on this trip. Yes, we did. But they weren't on the trip. We encountered many people on this trip. No. Yes, we did. But they weren't on the trip. They were a part of the trip. Were you ever worried with the MVP voting that you guys would split votes? No, no. Did you receive any?

I was the arbiter of the MVP votes. I'm the only journalist that had to write the credentials. Yes. And my first place vote was Jacob worked his ass off. Never once rolled his eyes. Never once said no. Like, we were in so many Walmarts, so many malls. Like, some days we barely had time to, like, stop for lunch

because we were just driving so much. And he was always, like, up for whatever. Was this a punishment? For which one? For them? Yeah. Punishment for me. Yeah.

I don't know why I'm punished, though. It was never for his pleasure. Did we punish Clemmer? Yes, for no reason. We started in New Mexico. Because I'll never say no to content, so you guys took advantage of that, which is fine. That's what you do. Okay.

I mean, it was... So, Jacob, get in here. I don't know if he's watching right now. Describe some of the highlights of the trips. Not just tell me what they were. Describe. Sounds, smells. The most shocking thing to me was the kansas state campus and how lifeless it was how depressing it was it was like being in an office park it i we were there for like an hour 45 minutes i didn't hear one person to laugh well did that have anything to do with the fact that they probably

put out a campus alert yes no but like even if they didn't see us coming say even we're hiding uh you know looking for people to traffic they we stayed it was just i said it felt like i was like at an insurance company it was horrible and school was in session then like they were there yeah oh yeah kansas hasn't discovered amusement yet no it was yeah it was like we're at like the photo loose you know it was it was so it was so sad and then we went to truman to Truman State where I beat up that kid. And those people were happy. People were having a good time, lighten their step. They were having a great time.

I was shocked how depressing Kansas State was. That's the whole state. You might be right. You might be right. Other things. Oh, stock up for Kansas City was fantastic. Oklahoma City was much more beautiful than I ever thought. You went to Bricktown.

Oh, so nice. Nice area. So nice. I had no idea. Yeah, a lot of malls, a lot of Walmarts. Jacob immediately knocks over the coffee. Oh, Jacob. That was a full spill.

That was a full spill. What are you going to do about it? I was just coming off this. Yeah, I see it, Jacob. Thanks for coming on. He That was a full spill. What are you going to do about it? I was just coming off this. Yeah, all right. See you, Jacob. Thanks for coming on. He's got a blue and an orange. Yeah, someone even noticed that at one of the Walmarts.

You got different color shoes on. What accent was that? It's been done before. Wherever we were. That's what they said. A lot of people sound more like you than me. Where we went. We were in the South.

Yeah. Texas is north. South. South. Oklahoma. South-ish. Yeah. New Mexico. What's the best food you ate along the way? Kansas City barbecue. Yeah. Texas is south. South. Oklahoma. South-ish. Yeah. New Mexico.

What's the best food you ate along the way? Kansas City barbecue. Yeah. You got it. Boom. Don't be sorry. And then the big Texan

was good too. That steak in Texas was damn good. It was good. What's that? Did you get the meat? I got chicken. I got barbecue chicken.

You got barbecue chicken? Yeah. I like barbecue chicken. Anytime they have like a half chicken on the menu, I get it. I like that.

It's a child's order. Yeah. No, it's not. I get it. I like that. It's a child's order. Yeah, that's not. No, it's not. That's not the barbecue order. It's not a child's order. It's a woman's order. It's his menu. Well, that might be more true.

Yeah. Browns too. Barbecue chicken. Browns. What did you say? Crowns. Crowns? No.

Crayons. Crayons. That is the biggest fucking lie you Philly people say. What did you say crown you said crowns yeah for crayon it's crown it's crayon and if you're an idiot and if you're just out of this world it's crown no that is that is multiple different letters why are you not even the word there's a word that's Why are you making a kid say crayon? Because it's not a name. It's too easy syllable.

It's crown. It's a crown. How is it spelled? C-R-A-Y-O-N. How do you spell crown? Crown. How do you spell? Kate, are you a crown?

A king would wear it. We call them color sticks. Oh, fuck. But no. There's no way. I've heard it. He's exaggerating. I've heard like crayon i'm not

exaggerating i say i don't say crayon but do you acknowledge how like people would perceive that as very wrong and stupid but i feel like you guys uh get him back no i i think we already got him back we just sent him to find purple hats yeah that, that's true. I think, like, it's just, I don't know. I just never said crayon. Crowns. It's spelled crayon. And there is, like, Dan said, another word for crown. Yeah, crown is a word.

Like, a king would wear a crown. A king's not going to wear a crayon. C-R-O-W-N is a word. It just never registered or was a thing for me. That's a disability. That's not linguistic. I know I got some crown boys out there. Probably.

Yeah. They have their own Olympics. Jacob, what's up? Howdy. I'm happy to be back. Why? You had so much time to prep for your first word. Yeah, I did.

But then it got all out of whack because I spilled your drink. Yeah. Hey, hey. How was it with Clemmer it was fun i think me and clemmer are a lot more similar than we're different how we're both hustlers uh we have similar music tastes like i was very surprised with aux aux was very diverse all sorts of decades and i like music from all sorts of decades so aux was good that's the most important part of a long road trip um i thought we had a good yin and yang in terms of like clemmer's a

pessimist and i try to be optimistic so we kind of like that is good evened out and i thought at when times were low i knew it was my job to be the vibes guy and pick us up and get us you know with more momentum did you guys share hotel rooms? No, we had separate rooms. Okay, good. Yes. But that would have been funny. Well, that wouldn't have happened.

Jacob, who would you have voted MVP of the trip? Clemmer drove the whole way. Oh, okay. Now we have dueling MVPs. Yeah, so we can share. He's too young to drive a rental car. Also, I felt like, I don't know, I don't mind driving. It's fine. No, he's right, though, about being pessimistic.

I would start, you know, probably started I don't mind driving. It's fine. No, he's right, though, about being pessimistic. I would start, you know, probably started getting upset about not finding the hats. Or, you know, Jacob was very good about always keeping, like I said, the vibes. But not in an annoying way. You would get pretty flustered if you couldn't find a hat? Not flustered. Angry. Angry.

Or just disappointed. Or like. This was punishment. Yeah. And I did nothing wrong. No. You did nothing wrong. I do think that now that you've.

Jacob, can you start putting them up yeah all right so i think now that you've gotten us a decent amount of hats we can go back to when you travel you find the hats not specific travel for the hats and maybe like a few months and then we'll say i was thinking february or march so i'm not a college basketball guy at all so i do have time in february march where could, in theory, go do work for Hats. We're back on a good pace. I think so. And I have some trips scheduled personally in the next couple months. So anyway.

So where? Arizona. Oh. Pennsylvania. Oh. Oh, Maine. Oh, yeah. Connecticut.

I could drive through. Oh, Louisiana. Oh. That will be a big one. You've got a lot of trips coming up. I do. I do. I do. Okay. So, Louisiana. Oh, that will be a big one. You've got a lot of trips coming up. I do, I do, I do. Okay. So, yeah.

So I think I could even get to 20 hats total by the end of the calendar year. What are you at right now? 14? I think 13 or 14. Have you learned any life lessons along the way? Like this is made into a film. It was good being like, Jacob's 21, I'm 44. So it was interesting.

You're obsessed with age. I am. Obsessed. I am. Old as fuck. He is. I know, I'm obsessed with time and age. And yeah, I've always been.

I'm always intrigued by time and stuff. It's an interesting thing, but you're very much like, if I'm older you i'm i'm wiser and better better no no not better no no oh i disagree that i think a little bit better no actually if one thing like working here has helped me like because i was over your age issue a little not yeah i guess or yeah or have more of a mind about it for sure like just because you work with so many young people here where before you know before i started working in barstow i was typically like one of the younger people in the office right and you go from that to here was i think i was trying to adjust with that and learn with that um no it's just cool seeing his perspective on things like and he did just the

enthusiasm was good he was a i was like all right how's this gonna go a whole week with this kid you know see how this is but i end up like oh if i did this again in february march i'd love to have jacob the most annoying thing about jacob is something he can't help. He's colorblind. So every hat is like even remotely blue. He's like, is that purple? No. Is that purple? No. That's very funny.

That was annoying. So Jacob will be with you when we send you back out. Yeah, I have no problem. So he wants to go. I have no problem with that. He doesn't really have a choice. Did you guys get like a buzz together at all? We went out.

We had three drinks was our max. We did that the last two nights of the trip. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. What would happen if you had four? Would you guys share a hotel room? Four, I start.

Then you hang over. It's like, I don't drink that much anymore. So four, I'd be like, I got it. What's a better amount, three or four? Three. Four is the line. I think once you hit four, that's when you're like, your brain goes wacky and you're like, I need more.

Yeah. Right. That's the line. Yeah. There's got to be a word for that. When I have four, it's like, all right, now I'm making the investment. I'm going to get drunk. Right.

It's more of a commit. Yeah. Three, you're at like a read option. Like I can call it. Yeah. Right. You pull it or you can give it. Three is pleasurable.

So which one did you just put up? I don't like the way you put it up. Yeah, but you know what? He went out and got them. So let's make it a little more sideways. Yeah. Why is it up? I don't like the way you put it up. Yeah, but you know what? He went out and got them, so let's let him. He's got it sideways. Yeah, but that's okay. I like it. It's art.

I do too. It is art. It fits. He is in charge of this. Speaking of time, guess what I'm about to turn. There's snow in here, by the way. Oh, what are you about to turn? In one month.

I do smell something. I don't know what it is. Go. You're about to be one month? Guess what I'm about to turn in one month. 10,000 days? No. 12,000 days.

1,300 days? More impressive. 13,000? More grand. Think big. A million hours. A million? No.

Grander. One billion seconds. Yes. You're about to be a billion seconds, Kyle. You're 31 years and eight months. Get ready. One billion seconds I'm a month away

We gotta do something Thank you to Beef Gardens Beef Gardens Also did you see There was a yakker I sent it to the group text The guy said that for our 1000th episode Which is coming next year

Next spring We do a week long Beer case race for our 1,000th episode, which is coming next year, next spring. Yeah, we're at 850. We do a week-long 1,000th beer case race. I don't know about that. I think that's awesome. Just an entire week. Worst week of our lives. Yeah, really, literally the worst week of our lives.

All right, he's putting up Missouri? Missouri, I believe. Missouri. Look at that. Calloway. Missouri, that was the kid I slapped in the back. That boy you beat? The Kansas State one, we had to get to the supermarket from a 50-year-old guy.

Fuck Kansas State. Supermarket? Supermarket. I offered the guy $40 for the hat. We saw that, yeah. He's like, fuck no. I offered him $50 and he's like, oh my god! We talked about that yesterday. It wasn't just him. There were like four people around him going,

$50 for a hat. They're running around screaming. They're all excited. Did you ever feel like Steve will do it out on the road? I don't know who that is. The guy who just, he's one of the Nelk boys. He offers people money for stuff. No, I don't know.

Or he gives it for free. No. Okay. You're too old. I am. Sorry. It's okay. Don't apologize.

I did feel like a little bit like a game show host in a way, though. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, Texas. I think you're going to have to redo Texas. I think you got to get that bigger. I think you got to stretch it. You got to stretch it.

That doesn't look good in Texas. This is actually, now that it's being put up, it's kind of impressive. Yeah, it looks good. It's kind of awesome. It's it looks good. It's kind of awesome. It's like a scroll. I don't know. There's something beautiful about it. Yeah.

There's something storybook. No one's ever done this. Wow, you know what? Election season, you have your red and your blue. What happens when you combine them? Oh, that's poetic. You're bringing America together. Yeah, you are.

That's a turn. That's a turn. The way they're going to be spread out, this group is going to like one continuous road trip yeah this is cool i will say starting new mexico kind of fucked us as far as we had to hit it anyway but as far as getting the most amount of hats for this trip yeah by the time we were out of that new mexico texas oklahoma corridor like the trip was more than half done yeah yeah like fuck so that's why we didn't hit iowa last night we just ran out of time oh you don't have iowa no that's okay we we drove to davenport last night we were in a we were scrambling running around last night like going we went to like what five or six places just

last night torture and death torture it is torture we created yeah this is the worst thing this is like worse than like that bull people used to put people in and catch it on fire horrible and i did nothing wrong. I simply just won't say no to content and then I get punished for that. Was there anyone who after you finished the video and you got the hat were like, can you explain this to me one more time? Was anyone more curious? The woman from Texas was very confused.

Extremely. Extremely. She's the one that was most nervous about human trafficking. You kind of stalked her a little bit. Oh, we did. Well, did well no parking lot she's like you got to wait for me to be finished by grocery and you had to like walk no no no no no no she said i have to finish my groceries and you said oh can i come along with you no i think you said i am yeah oh yeah oh yeah well i mean we we almost abandoned texas because to go any further south meant we would have been really screwed

If we went to Dallas it's five hours away Or TCU it's five hours away And if we do that then we're not going to get any hats Anywhere else the rest of the trip What do you have to say to Fleming Who said that was a head wrap Oh yeah he tried to I mean I'll say

That is the head wrap for the trip We can't get any more head wraps Because no duplicates So I can't get any more head wraps the rest of the trip right unless it's a very different shade of purple what do you got yeah that's good that's good that's good yeah that's good uh that's good so oh there's more this is gonna look great this is you know that one you know that one um was that the little kids had the other three Oh, is that the little kid's hat? The other three in New England. Yeah. The girl from Boston, yeah.

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Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get you some Lucy today. This is fun. Yeah. Would you be fine if we got you a purple tuxedo? I'd rather not. I have to drive all this way. I mean, I'll wear it for the last one, maybe?

For the last one. Sure. Purple rental car. A purple rental car, yeah. I mean, we're getting you a free purple tuxedo. Imagine how many times you can wear a purple tuxedo in your life. Yeah, I'd do it for the last one. Purple iPhone.

Purple everything. Purple car. So much is getting in and out of a car. So, I do for the last one. Purple iPhone. It's just everything. Purple everything. Purple car. So much is getting in and out of a car, so much is like driving that you have to be like super comfortable. What would be the funniest hat chasing car if we got him a purple car? Yeah. I don't know.

Might have to. Purple limo maybe? PT Cruiser. Yeah, purple PT. Those are always purple. I don't want to drive a limo but a PT Cruiser, sure. Purple PT Cruiser?

Limo seems hard to drive, right? Yeah. We would have you driven in it. And you get out of the back. That sounds wonderful. You go up to people and you're just like, I'm a bit of a collector. Yes, can I have your clothes? That was pretty good.

He has the build for a creep. Yeah. The long, long walking, yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah, you have a good stalking build. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you.

The Clemmer's basically, what was that M. Night Shyamalan movie with the alien? Oh, I am.. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you. He clumbers basically. What was that M. Night Shyamalan movie with the aliens? Oh, I am. I am that guy. Signs. Yeah, the walk. Do the walk. Bombinos, children. That was bad.

Oh. That's not how the aliens walk. That's Brandon Walker doing the gauntlet. That's not how the aliens walk. He is. He walks like that. Bring it up. Bring what up?

Bring up the. There's a clip of the aliens. They did not walk. He does. He does this little thing. He walks like that. Bring it up. There's a clip of the alien. They did not walk. He does. He does this little thing and he even looks very... This is boss. This is Matt Jesus. So when you were up in New England, you didn't get the tattoo.

You weren't able to convince of tattoo. He got the 10%. That's a no. That's a huge no. He doesn't have any tattoos at tattoo. He got to 10%? That's a no. That's a huge no. He doesn't have any tattoos at all. We brought it up. Did he blame his wife or did he take it? No, no.

He's like, I never had a tattoo. How was it? Did he want to fight anyone? No, no. We got along really well. You say this is very stupid and I'm never going to do it? Yeah. He just said he's not going to get a tattoo.

He said he's, quote, honored, which I thought was kind of talking down to us. Oh, big time. What's he supposed to say? Yeah. The just said he's not going to get it. He said he's, quote, honored, which I thought was kind of talking down to us. Oh, big time. What's he supposed to say? Yeah. The answer is no. What can he say? You can see, like, the gears in his brain.

Like, what am I supposed to say here? It's such a odd thing. When did you bring it up at the dinner? After the meal was served before dessert. How did you say it? So the three of us. Act like I'm the guy. Yeah.

So, Mike. Yes. The three of us all got tattoos together yep we did all three of us i'm i'm you're in two yeah yeah which one you can be don teller i'm done teller oh wait yeah i do i think i know there has to be a third kb's the third kb you're uh you're michelangelo oh got it. Okay, so, Leonardo, we... It's not gay. What did you just call me? What did you just call me? Yeah, I'm sorry.

Sorry. Mike. Mike. What happened was we all got tattoos at our 20th high school reunion. Wait, Chris, hold on one second. This is not gay what he's about to say. This sounds gay. No, no, no, no, no.

I swear to God, right? Back me up, Michelangelo. We've only kissed a few times. No, there's nothing. No, right. Are you... It's not gay. Don't say... It didn't say it need to be chris don't say it's gay is this not are you three a homosexual throuple no no we're not we're not we're not that excited what about what about what about spring break 07 spring break 07 we were i know i know it was crazy we did it It was wild 27, 28 years old And we were all like fuck it

Let's fucking fill each other's holes No no no But it's not gay There's nothing that Exciting about Flamboyant about it So we all got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tattoos

And So we all got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tattoos And I got one on my leg And then Michelangelo said I think he had his on his shoulder Yeah he's got it on his shoulder I always see it on his shoulder When we're on spring break No but we got it at 20

No we only got it a couple years ago Yeah we got it a couple years ago Before we got a couple years ago uh before you ask uh can i ask you a quick quick question yes did you imply my wife was a bitch on the barstool yak no never i never would do that did you bring up me eating the placenta uh well yes we did yes yes i did i did i did yes yes yes here luckily he hadn't heard that episode mike mike come here I'll show you my tattoo and then you'll see how cool it is. Okay, show me. You're going to pants me and everybody's going to see my dinky.

Mike, look. This is where my tattoo is. No, no! We were all sitting down at a steak restaurant. Sorry. You guys never found, by the way. We were all Sorry sorry sorry We were all We were all Sorry sorry sorry At a steak restaurant Sorry

You guys never found by the way I just really want you to get this tattoo Yeah Right No And he was just like I'm really honored guys Chris

Yeah yeah sorry Are we still doing the role play I've always wanted you to suck my dick Yes then get the tattoo I'll get it if you suck my dick Yeah Yes you said you would do that that's how we got the tattoos i'm married don't tell us married michelangelo is not

so he might who's michelangelo kb kb yeah fool me once but your build if you were to suck my dick it would be like when an anaconda swallows a small gazelle i'd see my i'd be able to see it perfectly in you well i am that arouses me i'm a tall man it wouldn't go that far and and you're you're a shorter man so i don't think you know i don't know what the fuck i don't know how well you're built mike i'm guessing it's not that well you think i have a small dick yes i do or you think your friend mike has a small dick oh he have a small dick? Yes, I do, actually. You think your friend Mike has a small dick? Oh, he's a small guy. How small is he?

It's kind of the rule of thumb, right? How tiny is he? What's his height? He's 5'6". Oh, yeah, it's definitely small. Is that a lump in your throat, or did you swallow a dick? You got it caught sideways. No, just a testicle. That's all.

He coils his whole body around your dick is. You got it caught sideways. Just a testicle. That's all. He coils his whole body around your dick first. So at any point during this conversation, Clemmer. What is that? That's in Canada. That's in Alaska. That's New Hampshire. Alright. Okay. That looks like it's in the Alaskan Peninsula. It looks like it's in Ketchikan, Alaska.

You know what? We might have to start over. No. The whole thing, now that you've done it there. The purple just doesn't look good with the blue tape. That hat's also not super purple. No, it's more than 50%. So there were many hats that we saw that had the first two, whatever you call those. Sure. Panels.

Panels were blue. Even the button was blue and the brim was blue. But because the rest of the hat was white, it was not 51% purple. That is a purple hat. Got it. I'll fight on that one. Elephant in the room, what color should we do next? Yeah, this is a good season two.

Oh, no. This is one. Eventually. Well, it doesn't have to be you in season two. All right, good. No, no. Oh, it does. Oh, no.

It does not need to be me this is your show sorry I am retiring from hat collecting after this I will finish I will finish this task but like if you do it's not a smash hit

if you do a final YouTube video of like how I got a purple hat in every state would be really awesome yeah you sit down and talk people would love that yeah

that would be a great way to end the project I promise you it will be worth it I doubt that what you're good to see the project. I promise you it will be worth it. I doubt that. You're good to see the whole country, Clemmer. Yeah, yes. Did you think you'd ever go to New Mexico?

Okay. Yeah, sure. You did. I thought one day, like, if I have a kid, my wife and child will go cross-country and do it as a family. Yes. You thought you would maybe not get purple hats. I thought for a second you

were implying your purple hat journey would be no maybe we would then go to baseball stadiums do things i want to do still wouldn't go to new mexico i'd probably drive through it isotopes albuquerque yeah that's one of the hats uh what's been your least favorite state where would you never live oh that's a good question Or town Town Oh Town I didn't I didn't love Davenport What about it Isn't that where Lance Korn is from

That is Yeah he is Is Davenport Is that like the It's right on the line Of Mississippi River The Quad Cities Seth Rollins

I just Seth Rollins is from Davenport too In fairness Davenport was like One of the smaller places And we only went Because it was really Like on the way here Well I wanted to be somewhere That was three hours away So we could drive one of the smaller places we went. And we only went because it was really on the way here.

Well, I wanted to be somewhere that was three hours away so we could drive here in the morning. So we would have probably gone to Des Moines. So it was kind of a smaller one. I just didn't really see anything. Nothing really stood out to me. It was super popular. They had a bar scene, but it wasn't really my kind of bars. I don't know.

What's your kind of bar? Well, I don't know. Have a couple TVs, maybe. TVs? That's a house? TVs. Probably now, at this point, yes. I would rather just drink at home, yes.

Question. Some good 80s music playing in the background. Are you Big Cat or are you still his gay friend? Question. No, I'm Big Cat again. At what point, when you were asking this man who you hadn't seen in 20 years to get a tattoo, did you feel weird? I would think it'd be immediate.

I mean, not... But remember, I hadn't seen him in 20 years, but then we had grown up together, so I've done, like, stupid shit. Like, we all did stupid shit when we were kids. At the end, was he like, this whole dinner was just for the tattoo? No, no, no.

So we did that, and then we all went out for drinks afterwards, so then then so there was no awkward energy after he said no no did you say like oh man no not really okay so what are you gonna just kind of understood what are you gonna do now i think i made a joke like you know then you're dead to us sometimes oh that would be a shame for him yeah after. After not seeing you for 20 years. Right, right. Oh, no. Eva decided Brandon's going to get it.

Yeah. No, I don't want to. Want to get what? Who are you going to get? I don't know. I'm always thinking there just won't be one. Oh, my God. I know.

There's not a natural fit. There's just not. I'll get it. You're not part of our group. All right. Is Brandon not allowed to just get in? He can, but he it. You're not part of our group. Is Brandon not allowed to just get in? He can, but he won't be included in any of our activities.

Oh, no. There's a camp. One of our Donatello's family owns a nice camp in Maine. Sometimes we'll all go hang out there. I love camping. Yeah, I know, but we don't want you there. But he has the tattoo. It would fit.

I bet your boys would love Brandon. I don't know. Yeah, what if they like love Brandon? What if you get outvoted two to one? What if your boys like me? What if we get along? I don't know. Introduce me to your boys.

You're not going to have any of the same stories we have. Junior High makes it fun. We're the same age. We're the same age. Same age. We can do 1988 Montreal Expo starting lineup shit. Actually, he's exactly the same month as Michelangelo. That's fucking my brain up.

Nelson Santovania. Yeah, it is. That you're the same age. Well, yeah, because I'm alive. I think what we need to do is- No, it's just different. Four of us need to get it, and then we- Yeah, we'll beat them, too.

You guys don't even have- That's fine. You guys can do whatever you want. But I will say, once one of you dies, you have to get the other person's tattoo on you. We don't live by your rules. It's our group. No, that's fine. That's a whole different thing, though.

So wait a minute. Somebody, and if this worked perfectly, you had a fourth, somebody would end up being an 85-year-old man with four Ninja Turtles tattooed on them from their other three dead turtles? Well, even so, it's still going to happen. Hopefully, we all live that long. And if it had worked out that you had gotten this guy, it would have like why do you have four and be like well this is for my best friend this is for my best friend this is for a guy i didn't talk to for 20 years because he beat up

my best friend yeah yeah that feels like a flaw you should have just picked a trio man i know yeah but we all had ninja turtles growing up it was a big part of it i should have done a tree i know i know you're not wrong shit what trio would you have done maybe trio I know I know You're not wrong Shit What trio would you have done Maybe you convince your Two other friends That have the tattoo To get another tattoo

Of a trio Yes Keeper of the elves Keeper of the elves I was thinking like Keeper of the elves I know We're never really

Into the Keeper of the elves The Dixie Chicks No not really Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini Yes Oh that's a good one big three i was so yeah i would have thought maybe the fdr what

no churchill and stalin are a nicer trio oh stalin's not very nice but a little yalta conference tattoo no i don't yeah wait why are you here today again oh fuck that's why are you here just here uh by the way oh we Oh fuck Why are you here? Just here By the way

Oh we have to do Is it a wheel to do what today Lucas? Oh it's for the gauntlet Someone's going to do the gauntlet today I'll do the DraftKings I'll do the Pardon My Cheesesteak read Football is finally back ordering Pardon My Cheesesteak For your game day meal or late night eats

It's the best play call you can make Pardon My Cheesesteak part of my cheesesteak for your game day meal or late night eats is the best play call you can make part of my cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks loaded fries delivered right to your doorstep take your pick how's gonna pee again this is bad what was that it's amazing it's clever it's clever's job security remember it's good for all right part of my cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks loaded fries delivered right to your doorstep take your pick of delicious cheesesteaks made with fresh, thinly sliced steak, melted provolone, mouthwatering cheese sauce, and caramelized onions on a toasted hoagie roll. We have classic cheesesteaks, chipotle cheesesteaks, chicken cheesesteaks, chipotle chicken cheesesteaks, buffalo chicken cheesesteaks, and chicken bacon ranch cheesesteaks. You can order the popular Big Cat combo and get your cheese steak of choice. Fries and a drink.

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That's good. I gotta say, Jacob left quietly, but he did a great job. He did a great job. It makes me feel good to see it more filled. It's a beautiful project. Imagine all 50 states filled, though.

It's gonna be awesome. I think I'm gonna have one more when I come back next month. That's gonna be great. By the I'm going to have one more when I come back next month. That's going to be great. Yeah. By the way, we have Linda on the phone. Oh. Linda from Georgia? Yeah.

Old time caller. Kicking off college football season. Oh, yeah. Go Dawgs. Linda. Whoa, I have the phone here. Linda, what's up? How are you guys?

Great. Great to hear you. Yeah, best time of the year. What's wrong with your phone? What's wrong with your phone? What's wrong with my phone? I actually had to turn the other one off. Oh. Turn the thing off.

Oh, okay. I was watching it on my iPad. How are we feeling about the dogs? Well, I'm going to circle back to the very first time I called into the show years ago when Brandon had said you can bet against your team. And you said, no, you can't. And you know I read, I believe, red and black. And I had taken six, never dating plus 14 and a half over number two Georgia.

My team won, my money won. Proved Brandon was right. You can bet against your own team When you know you're going to win So I'm taking Clemson plus 13.5 This week I'm going to win But we're not going to cover 13.5 Wow You're going to double win

Double win My team wins my money wins And how's everything going in general We're going to get calls back on the act So you'll be able to call in for real Not me holding a phone to the microphone But how's life going in general? We're going to get calls back on the act, so you'll be able to call in for real, not me holding a phone to the microphone. But how's life going? Life is doing very well.

Okay. Life is doing well. Nice. Do you guys have plans to come to Atlanta for the national championship game? No, but I did see the Final Fours there in 2031. We'll be there for that. 20 what? 2031.

Yeah, we'll all be dead. There you have it. I was going to say, I all be dead no don't don't die on us linda i'm not doing that linda oh chicago can i do that are you yes of course you can get get your ass up here okay when i finish kate and i can have a cigarette yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah there you go did you get your 100 followers last night I hope that anus I hope they did because my son wouldn't go to sleep

until they got yeah so we were we set a goal we were 500 short oh of being halfway to the goal

so but the goal was set the goal was the goal was fluid set the goal that's 10x mentality it took a lot to set that goal. Yeah.

All right, so Linda, what do you think? Dogs national championship this year? Well, since the Athens PD took out our transfer portal. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I would blame the police department on that. I meant like rah-rah. I mean, how stupid can you be? It's just ridiculous. So we're going to play. I mean, how stupid can you be? It's just ridiculous. So we're going to play.

I'm not calling anything. Just going to play game by game to where we are now. Like if we play Clemson in October and it was 13 and a half, I'd take Georgia because Clemson doesn't have the best throughout the year. Right. Where Georgia does. So I'll just take the 13 and a half and take clemson this week all right game by game all right well linda thanks for calling in great

to have college football back great to have you back and yeah get your ass up here okay you got it all right see you linda all right bye i think i would go on a bender with linda oh yeah i think linda and i would tear up the town she's the absolute best without doubt i haven't seen her i like have this image in my mind of what she looks like and i feel like we would just be two peas in a pod what do you visualize blonde hair dyed kind of kind of on the no offense a little bit of split ends a little bit of rough around the edges, but beautiful. Yes. I'm picturing the woman who broke her cockyx at the dunes.

Yeah, that's kind of. And Napoleon died. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, that's close. Close to it. Combo of the two. Yeah.

I hope to meet her. You should go out with her. Yeah, I think I will. Yeah. If she'll have me. Sounds like she will. Bernie. Sounds like she wants to meet her. You should go out with her. Yeah, I think I will. Yeah. If she'll have me. Sounds like she will. Bernie. Sounds like she wants to be friends.

She wants to rip cigarettes with you. Maybe we'll get Ninja Turtle tattoos. Oh. Perhaps. Were there ever girl turtles? This is April O'Neil. Name one fictional female. Oh, April O'Neil.

April O'Neil was a helpful reporter. But the hero, there had to have been a girl turtle. Was there any love interest for the boys? Yeah, April O'Neil. April O'Neil was a helpful reporter. But the hero, there had to have been a girl turtle. Was there any love interest for the boys? Yeah, April O'Neil. They were kind of for April, which was kind of always a little weird. Michael Angelo was trying to fuck her. Because they were teenagers? Yeah, that's why.

Yeah. She's a professional woman. What's she doing hanging out with these teenagers? I think Michael Angelo took her down. Yeah? Yeah. For sure. But like, yeah.

Actually, Raphael might have have because he was kind of like everyone's like oh rafael yeah yeah but then i could see like him hurting her and her like venting to donatella and she's like it should have been you and he's like it's too late bitch yeah you never told me you liked me yeah yeah one of those situations i'm not yeah i'm your shoulder to cry on that's all i ever was to you so you and your friends have never done gay stuff no okay have you ever seen any of the other turtles dicks no that's a lie i haven't that's no if you share a tattoo with somebody you've seen it no no no we did gym class together but like we were was so, like, I didn't hit puberty when I was, like, 15.

So I was so, like, nervous about, like, showering. So I would just, and I didn't really sweat. So I would not shower. I was so scared. So, like, no, I really, really didn't. But that doesn't mean you couldn't have seen theirs. I was in and out of there so fast. I, we, no, we didn't, we didn't do any gay stuff.

Sounds like. We watched, like, like You know back then You know Someone would get like a Like a VHS Yeah So you'd like Watch the porn together

But you wouldn't do anything You'd just sit there And just like Be excited But then you'd have to Just sit there I guess that's I guess you do the same thing

At strip clubs right I guess in a manner of speaking Yeah So I guess Sort of That's as close as We came to. I was just going to be quiet and see how long you were just talking in circles.

I'm not. No, I'm being honest. I haven't. I'm sorry to disappoint y'all. How does your wife think? Does she like the purple hat journey you're going on? So she is incredibly supportive. This is one of your dreams.

She's the best. The only time she's ever even got remotely, like, annoyed at content was we were driving home from New Hampshire and she's like, really? We got to stop? I'm like, I know. Let's just do it for an hour and see what happens. So that sucks. Like, when it starts to creep into my, like, my real life, it's like, ah, this kind of

sucks. Um, yeah, she wasn't, I don like, ah, this kind of sucks. Um, yeah, she wasn't, I don't like, I think she missed me this week, but she, but I used to have to go on business trips before.

I had to go on like trade shows and stuff. So it's not that much different. Yeah. It's what I said. It's when you're driving home from vacation, when you're just tired and want to get home and you're like, I got to stop at Hampton beach, look for a fucking hat.

It's like, all right, what the fuck? It's the life you chose. Not really. No, no, it's not.

It was like, that was put on, on me by, by you guys. Okay really. No, it's not. It was the life that was put on me by you guys. Okay, weird or not, buying your good friend's spouse a Christmas gift. Like a really nice Christmas gift. Really nice? Really nice. Your best friend's spouse?

Not best. Like a friend. Weird. Or the wife's friend. Weird. Is my wife friends with that? Because then I could have the wife just buy the gift. That's weird.

Yeah. I think it's weird. Okay. I think it's weird. Is the card just from you? It's not a card. It's like a really nice vacuum. Right.

I'm not even being sad. Like something along the lines of a $300 item. Oh my God. Yes. Now we're... It's weird. But is it from both you and your partner?. Oh my God. Yeah. Yes. Now we're weird. But is it from both you and your partner? No.

Just you. Yeah. That's weird. That's weird. Yeah. Okay. Did you previously have a dinner with the four of you where this thing was talked about at length and y'all were like, you get your friend an even nicer gift, but you get the

wife something. Did you know the wife before like if you knew the wife beforehand and you met him you set up them to get married well nick brandon's wife got you the watch for valentine's day yes how did you feel was that awkward um no i deserved it okay yeah that's not weird that was a very funny laugh by you, Brandon. It's kind of a... I always wanted to get a co-worker that I'm not very close with a very, very expensive... Very expensive. I wanted to get Fran something like $7,000 for her birthday.

Like, happy birthday, Fran. Thanks. What about not a wife just a girlfriend also weird weird her kidding hard what about this what about this is it weirder to give something very expensive

or something very very personal like if I got your girlfriend if I drew a picture of her. That's so much worse. A really, really accurate picture. Like a good portrait. She looks stunning in this picture. And I'm like, hey, I drew this of you.

It took me 17 hours. It's so much worse than like a Maserati. When's your girlfriend's birthday? I'm going to drop it. I'm doing it. Let me look at my notes. Chat wants you to pull up what, Lucas? Tate's tweet.

Oh, yeah, I saw it. It's great. I love it. I love that Tate did this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What is this? So this is, he personally is guaranteeing that Ohio State will go 12-0 this season. And if they lose a game, these are the following things he'll do.

So if they lose to Akron, he'll quit Barstool and get a teaching job at LeBron's I Promise School. Western Michigan is drive a white Ford Bronco from Maine to California. Can't go over 45 miles an hour. That's amazing. Marshall, get my pilot's license. Hello. Michigan State complete a Spartan death race. Iowa shave my head and donate my hair to the Children's Hospital.

Oregon eat 10 yellow marshmallow duck peeps for every point Oregon scored. That's a lot. He was smart to change up points. That could still be 10 for every point. Every point. Yeah. So a touchdown, 60. Okay.

Yeah. He's bold. He's going Yeah. So a touchdown, 60. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. He's bold. He's going to do the corn thing for us. I'll eat anything. Nebraska, not allowed to eat anything but corn for one full week. Penn State. Or Jamiroquai.

Stand in place for the removed Joe Paterno statue. For 24 hours. I want that one to happen. Is that realistic? Like they could maybe lose? Yeah, they could. Yeah, the realistic ones are Oregon, Purdue, and Michigan. Purdue's realistic? Sorry, Purdue, and Michigan. Purdue's realistic?

Sorry, Penn State, Michigan. Get a Drew Brees birthmark tattoo. On the face? No, it just has to be the shape. Oh, we've got to ask him that. Take the ACT until I get a 34 for Northwestern. Indiana's watch Hoosiers on repeat 48 hours straight. And Michigan work for Dave Portnoy for a year for free

but that has an asterisk because Dave needs to agree to the other portion I love this though this is great this should be a trend imagine if they lose like 4 games especially one of the ones that have a very high difficulty rating.

Yeah, I mean the Western Michigan one would be incredible. Pilot's license is like 10,000 hours. The birthmark would be horrendous. He has to get it on his face, right? What's the birthmark?

Oprah tried to wipe it off. It's on the anus logo now. Anus has the IP to it. Yeah, we actually. Oh. He forgot to renew the trademark, and so we got it. Pate's really good at graphics. Yes.

That's clean, yeah. Yeah. I think Iowa's should be a little worse. Yeah. Shaving the head. Maybe the full body. I don't know. He's tough to picture him without his hair. He likes his hair, yeah. He really. That's true. Yeah. Shaving the head. Maybe the full body. I don't know. It's tough to picture him without his hair.

He likes his hair, yeah. He really – That's true. Yeah. It's a hard – Brandon, we do the DraftKings outreach since we're talking college football. Yeah, I think you're right. Iowa needs to get a little bit of a change.

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For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co slash FTBall. All right, so Tate, we were pulling up your treat. I love it. I love the idea. Awesome. It's great. Good at graphics, too, by the way.

Thank you. The only thing we were... What was that? Lucas, what the fuck did you do? Why is Zah laughing so hard? There we go. What was that? Zah, the fuck did you do? Why is Zah laughing so hard? There we go. What was that, Lucas? Zah, why are you laughing so hard?

Zah, what are you doing? Zah, what are you doing? Zah, what are you doing? I mean, Lucas. What was that? It was nothing important. It was just stupid. What was it?

It's just how we pulled the graphics. It wasn't like anything legit. I just clicked the wrong button. You're just... How do you keep doing this, Lucas? What did he do? He pulled up a graphic that... No, he didn't dox himself,

but I'm sure something bad will happen. Yeah, there will be repercussions, I'm sure. So I love all of these. The one thing we were saying was Iowa feels a little light. Okay. so first of all i felt good about them and the commenters have pointed out some okay so so i want to hear what the commenters i think i i like it it's a good idea i think you should have to throw in

that you can't wear a hat till it's all the way grown oh wow because you you you'll just shave your head and wear a hat um do you know what i have on the back of my head no why would i know what you have on the back of your head how do i you actually you asked me about it once when we were doing the wrestling oh maybe i do know uh i have my birthmark is on the so a shaved head would be very tough oh yeah oh one is oh okay so that makes it good all right uh the drew breeze one would you get the actual tattoo like the the actual birth mark on your face the place yes on your face no you won't you would get you get a face listen here can we make can we make this deal now i will get it on my face if after 12 months i can get a tattoo removed deal deal that was painful as fuck it won't remove all of it, I don't think, right?

It'll do fine. Oh, yeah. No, just get one of those, like, three-year tattoos. So that way— It just fades off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that a real thing? Yeah, it's like semi-permanent ink.

All right. Yeah, we'll go face-on. I mean, we're the number one team in the conference, and I believe they are, like, last in the media polls. They're awful. Yeah. Yeah, they're bad. No, I mean, you're—the only ones that you have to be nervous about we were saying was oregon penn

state michigan yeah uh but my girlfriend did call me when i tweeted this and she said hey like do you remember how confident you were when we lost to iowa with jt barrett and how confident like we lost to rondale more more in purdue so the commenters have gotten me in my head a little bit like if we go back to back weeks of losing to Oregon where we're underdogs and then Nebraska, I will have eaten only marshmallows and corn for two years. Yeah, true.

Yeah. No, no marshmallows are the hardest one. I think I marshmallows. I thought the Oregon one in my head was like, all right, we're underdogs. I'm not going to do anything crazy.

Then people are like, dude, you know how many 500 peeps could be? 300 to 500 peeps. Yeah. How many points is that? 30 to 50. And I think you would have to eat them in one sitting. Yeah. Like you can't like eat a couple peeps every day for the next three weeks.

You'd have to – or at least you'd have to finish them before the next game. Yeah, none of these – I'm not trying to cheat my way into any of these. These are all legit. Northwestern's not good, but that one would take me. Which one are you most nervous about? Which one would crush you? I mean, if we lost to Akron, but we're 50-point favorites. I don't want to quit this job.

I mean, the Penn State one is brutal. And we're only four-point favorites. People don't realize Ohio State's great, but... So the first game is against Akron? Yeah, we're going to beat Akron. I wonder if Kelly Key's got her Akron jersey yet. There's going to be some people in New York rooting for Akron, I think. Yeah. There's people on the internet wondering if the marshall one was a coincidence or not what do you mean a

coincidence someone tweeted and said if that was on purpose no no no because you if you did if you were doing it on purpose you said get my pilot's license and crash my plane right oh you'd have to fly back from driving from Maine to California, so you've got to fly back. Yeah, that's right. That one would be, Western Michigan would be brutal. That's my favorite one. How long would that take?

Also, can you even do that? Yeah, I mean, people are saying it would take over 75 hours to do. I will say that driving this trip, a lot of times the minimum speed limit is over 45. It's 40. So you could probably still go on the highways. Yeah.

That's dangerous. I would hope so. I know. That would be miserable. It's a great idea. I love it. Have you ever witnessed Ohio State lose to a non-Power 5 team? To a non-Power 5 team?

No. No. No. I'm thinking about the most shocking non-conference was like Virginia Tech, whatever it was, like six or seven years ago. We won the National Champions. Oh, 2014. Who's your quarterback this year? Right now it's Will Howard. We got him from Kansas State.

So let's say he gets hurt week one. That'll be fine. Aaron Rodgers, like situation. Yeah, we have five quarterbacks. Oh, so that wouldn't... Is there any player that if they got hurt you'd be really fucked? No, I think our defense is legit enough where we should hold all

these teams to touchdown. We're Michigan from last year. I would say the floor for Ohio State this year, the absolute disaster season is three losses. That's a disaster. is three losses. Yeah. That's a disaster.

It would be a disaster. I will say for the bet, though, for here, I mean, our over-under is 10.5. Yeah, the odds are you're going to lose one game. Yeah, yeah. The odds are you're going to lose one game. I mean, at Oregon, it was something. That's the one I'm regretting right now is,

like, put 500 marshmallow peeps in front of you. Your insides are going to be like insulation in an attic. That's true. You lose 24-21. Yeah, that's only 240. That's nothing. Well, actually, I retract. The one that I'm most nervous about would be if Dave ever stops being a coward and takes the bet.

That'd be a tough one. He'll never stop being a coward. I think the Drew Brees one would be the worst. So you'd work for free. Talk me through that a little bit. You'd work for free? He'd work without getting paid. Right, and how would you then survive? You know how we get paid?

Yeah, he wouldn't do that. Right, so then how does he pay his bills? I don't think you're getting it. I do get it. What's the realistic element? The realistic thing is twofold. One, I was a teacher for 10 years and I quit, so I cashed out my retirement.

So I currently don't have a retirement, but I do think I'd be able to live. And two, I would drive Uber to and from work. Oh, that's smart. I actually think that if you have to work for free, I would offer you can live in that random room. I was going to say in the office i would have to talk to big cat about living yeah i mean yeah we could set that up that would be a funny thing we now we'd have to have a camera there to live stream 24 7 that's a deal like a truman show thing yeah just watch you sleep and we're back up in the shower i could give you some tips

tate live stream feed for an entire year. Tate life? Whoa. He's just sitting in that room. Yeah, I'm down for that. Okay, that's a deal. If Dave takes the bet and I don't get paid for a year, I will live in that back room.

Yeah, and we'll get it all hooked up. Isn't that kind of payment, though? What? Us paying him through showroom? Well, no, because I would set it up where we could make money off the live stream. It would be kind of a social experiment. It's still his job. Yeah. In the back of the old days, this is what

happened. They give you room and board, right? Yeah. What old days was that? That's old as... Old, old days. Old, old days. When you read about board, right? What old days was that? That's old as... Old, old days. When you read about this, that's what they would do. He'd get his little rations at the end of the week at the company store. You never taught... Language arts?

Well, we love a T. I saw it and I was like, that was awesome. Good luck. There's more bookmarks I've ever had. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you don't do any of these, then you're going to have to quit.

Like, people will – I mean, they still go after John Rich for not cutting his head off. Yeah, they are mad at him. I pitched this to Nick and Brandon and Big T earlier, and we were coming up with some of these, and the Michigan one had to be changed. Yeah. Because theigan one was undoable yeah oh what was it it was a permanent solution right what do you mean he's gonna kill himself michigan michigan you wow we had to we know i want big he said that's the only way you

can publish this graphic yeah we had to soften that one a little bit you know there's there's definitely got to be some nerves for you like i, I have my pinky team every year, and statistically I will lose that eventually and have to cut off the tip of my pinky. So do you pick a team that won't win the Super Bowl? It's a team that has Super Bowl aspirations, so it can't be the Panthers. And they start 0-2, and then I pick them. So it's like they'll never do it. The one year, it was like maybe six years ago,

was the Texans. They started 0-2 the year. They won their last nine games. They lost in, I think, the first round of the playoffs, but I started to get a little nervous. I mean, there was times where I would have done Maryland if we were playing Maryland would be a huge, crazy bet too. We almost lost to them a couple years ago.

I know. Urban Meyer faked his heart attack. People lose games, so it should be good. Maryland would have been fun. You have to live as a crab. Yeah, you have to live as a crab. That would be hard. You have to walk sideways for an entire year.

Shallows of the ocean. Do you have any? Crab or turtle? A turtle or crab. You have to carry a shell around. Oh, that would be good, too. A big shell. Very similar. I would like to see him, though, Oh, that would be good, too. A big shell. Very similar.

I would like to see him, though, live in the shallows of the ocean for an entire year. How do you feel about the Indiana one? People are chirping me that that one is... Soft? Yeah, but... You're not going to lose, so it doesn't matter. What is it? Watch Hoosiers on repeat for 48 hours.

The only thing I'd say is you obviously cannot sleep. Yeah, that's an punishment. Yeah, right. That part is staying up for 48 hours is very difficult i would assume right that's really hard yeah that was my thinking yeah i didn't try half-ass any of these this is a good sleeping movie too i know especially the robert hershey stuff comes on excellent sleeping movie it's a great movie but you i love hearing you guys talk movies oh you like hoosiers yeah i do we actually we did an episode on Hoosiers

we did me and you I'll be god damn alright thanks Tate go Bucks awesome idea that just gave me an idea at some point and we won't tell anyone when you will tune into the Yak on a day at noon central and it will just be Brandon and Chris Clemmer doing an episode of recross wow that won't anger anybody no no warning it will literally just you'll turn it on and you'll

just see the two of them sitting right here and it'll be our 12 hour episode yeah and they'll just do do a full episode of it don't fucking play with me i'll do it yeah no i'd be happy to do it yeah no it's gonna be amazing yeah it was i missed doing that show with you yeah you guys did it for like a week no no we did it we did about 12 of them yeah oh but it was only like it felt like a week well they were so good i was helping him i i don't know what i was trying to do because i knew i was leaving but we just did it no you helped me out i just knew no actually it was really nice yeah uh yeah brandon i i said something i wanted to do. I told Jeff, do you owe that?

I think, like, my second day on the job. Yeah. And Jeff's like, Brandon can do it. Just got to wait until football season's over. And it was really nice of you. Yeah. Brandon, you're on your fucking first grade teacher. Don't talk shit on Muppets.

Muppets is adult humor. It's funny. It's the Muppets. Kyle, you see this? You look like a first grade teacher. Is Bunsen Honeydew on? Bunsen Honeydew made the t-shirt. That's crazy, dude. Who's Bunsen Honeydew?

He's the mad scientist. Who's that green dude? Oh. No eyes. That shirt is sick. Oh. Yeah. I went on.

KTF. KTF. Who's this guy? Huh? The beaker? Which one? Uncle Deadly? Which one?

Which one? I can't tell what he's pointing at. The blue guy. Oh, Gonzo. Blue guy next to us. Gonzo. That's Gonzo. Who's the rabbit? Where's the rabbit? What rabbit? Which one? I can't tell what he's pointing at. The blue guy. Oh, Gonzo. Blue guy next to us. Gonzo. That's Gonzo. Who's the rabbit?

Where's the rabbit? What rabbit? This one. I don't see a rabbit. I don't see a rabbit. There's a rabbit. Okay. All right.

Show him this. I. Get him. Get him. Oh, the fox thingy? I don't see a rabbit. How do you not see a rabbit? Well, come over here and show him the rabbit.

I don't want to get up for this. The rabbit! I've never seen that rabbit before in my life. What is that rabbit? I don't know the rabbit. So I went on Anus last week, and we talked about Looney Tunes and Muppets, and Roosevelt sent me a Looney Tunes and a Muppets shirt. So now I'm wearing it.

Are you sure that's Kermit? Could be his evil twin, Constantine. Miss Piggy looks fucking good. She dressed well. Fozzie Bear? That's not Fozzie Bear. You don't know what Fozzie Bear looks like in a Muppets shirt? What the fuck's wrong with you? That's not Fozzie Bear. You don't know what Fozzie Bear looks like when you're wearing a Muppet shirt?

What the fuck's wrong with you? That's Rolf. Did you know Fozzie and Kermit have the same father? Who's this? Really? Yes, Clemmer. You know Kermit's from Mississippi, or he claims to be.

Well, Jim Henson is originally from Mississippi. Muppets were exciting alive. Hattiesburg. For sure. SNL. Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Beautiful place. Wonderfulets. Muppets were exciting alive. Hattiesburg. For sure. SNL. Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Beautiful place. Wonderful place.

Loved it. Oh. How old is Beaker now? The head writer of SNL said I will not write for Phelps. He's got to be up there. Certainly. When you go to Mississippi for Purple Hats, can I pick the city that you go to? No.

Yes. Big hat. Big hat. When he goes to Mississippi, can I pick the city? Wait a minute. No, no, no. Yes. You can pick if you go with him. Yes. is so easy you come along this is a big joke come

along i didn't say it's a joke i hear shit no i oh i haven't wanted to help what did you hear i watch this show sometimes boys what did you hear oh it's so easy oh i would have had three by now oh all this shit yeah we do talk like that people talking shit it's fine it's fine i keep notes i got i got a long i'm gonna pick where you're going to mississippi you're going with me by now. Oh, all this shit. Yeah, we do talk like that. People talking shit. It's fine. It's fine. I keep notes. I got a long way. I'm going to pick where you're going to Mississippi. You're going with me. You have a spot in mind?

I can find it. I will go where you want to go, but you're coming with me because if it fails, then you're also feeling the pain. Yeah, but I'm home. Great. I just go to my hometown. I just live in my house. No, no, no.

We don't do that. We go from Walmart to Walmart. We're busting our ass the entire time. Walmart's 0.5 miles away from my house. I'm fine. Great. If we don't find. We go from Walmart to Walmart. We're busting our ass the entire time. Walmart's 0.5 miles away from my house. I'm fine. Great. If we don't find a purple hat there, guess what? We got to keep looking. You got to go to Lorman, right? He's kind of threatening you. That's pretty good. He's kind of threatening you.

You could go there or you could go to Purple High School, Purple High School, Purple High School. But who's rocking around? Yeah, who walks around with their high school clothes? Who's rocking their high school? Everybody in Mississippi. They do that? Yeah, yeah. You go to Louisville, you're going to see a lot of L hats. Because they aspire to graduate one day?

You go to West Point, you're going to see a lot of WP hats. I would say it was weird seeing him in a college cafeteria. I don't know how I'd feel seeing him link across the high school. I'm not going to the high school. He's saying people in town will wear the high school. Correct. If they have that little going on. That's true for us. You know what this is? school hat. Okay, okay. Correct. If they have that little going on. I'm leaning against the locker.

That's true for us. You know what this is? This is fucking America, okay? If you go to a small town in middle America, you're going to see the high school hat. We're going to be a small town in New Hampshire. We weren't doing that. Y'all didn't have good sports. Football isn't really that bad.

We had cable TV. You didn't have good sports. Yeah. You go to Iowa, you're going to see some small town high school hats. You go to- I went to Iowa. I went to Iowa. Okay, well, you didn't go to a small town high school. You go to Alabama, you're going to see some small-town high school hats. You go to – I went to Iowa. I went to Iowa. Okay.

Well, you didn't go to a small-town high school. You go to Alabama, you're going to see it. You go to Texas, you're going to see it. I went to small – some of the states I went to were pretty – I mean, it's not like I've only done urban states, Brandon. Look at his work. He's right. Look at the bar of your work.

Proof's in the pudding. He's got you on that. Look at – look. I just think that you're looking down on your nose. I'm looking down on you. That last pro shop hat is awesome. You're looking down your nose at people that wear their high school hat, and that's a lot more common than you act like it is.

All right. All right. So you're coming with me in Mississippi. You can pick the town. Otherwise, no. The way he keeps saying that. It's typically old, old men that wear the high school hats. He's threatening you.

Because he doesn't know what it's like. He doesn't. Jacob knows what it's like. You don't. Yeah. And you went. You didn't go to war. No. Kate? No, I'd say he did. There doesn't. Jacob knows what it's like. You don't. Yeah. And you didn't go to war. Kate? No,

I'd say he did. There we go. If it's not a big deal, Brandon, just come. Yeah. What's the problem then? It's not war, right? Just come. From Walmart to Walmart to... Because I don't like that attitude. I don't like the attitude, this is easy and this is a joke. I never said that. No, you guys insinuated that. I heard it.

All of you guys did. You're saying it to me. Yeah, I am, because you're the one that wants to pick my town now. You made the mistake of now starting to... You made the mistake of all of a sudden saying, I'll pick the town. I said, can I pick the town? And I said, no, unless

you come. And then you got quiet because you realized, fuck, this is hard. I don't want to do it. Can y'all all fight back with me? Lucas, can you get a clip of this and put the Pick Central logo on it and put it out? This feels like we're on Pick Central. I like it. Yeah, definitely.

We can work on that. Okay, thanks. Clemmer, I think it's difficult what you're doing. Thank you. Appreciate that. Yeah. Brandon, on the other hand, thinks it's easy. Yeah, Brandon's a big joke.

Until he has to come along hand, thinks it's a joke. Yeah, Brandon thinks it's a big joke. Side note. Until he has to come along and he realizes it's hard. I've never said this was a big joke, although it is a big joke. Well, that's partly true. Right. No, it's not partly true. It is. Yeah, it is.

It's a joke on me. That's fine. That's fine. I don't think it's a joke on you. It's a joke featuring you. You guys, I'm the puppet. I'm that guy. I even kind of look like him.

I'm the little puppet. That's fine. Yeah, I guess you do. That's fine. That's fine. I'll tell you what. This road trip changed. Are you? No, I've always been like this. What are you talking about? Yeah, even kind of look like him. I'm the little puppet. That's fine. Yeah, I guess you do. That's fine. That's fine. I'll tell you what. This road trip changed. Are you?

No, I've always been like this. What are you talking about? Yeah, he's always been like this. It's fine. It's not a joke on you. It's a joke with you. Yeah. It's a joke, and we're using you to tell the joke.

Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. It's all right. It's all right. It's fine. Okay. One day, I'm going to get my revenge, and it will be brutal.

How? We'll see. You're going to fuck Clemmer and murder us? No, I never said that. Cle day I'm going to get my revenge. And it will be brutal. How? We'll see. You're going to fuck Clemmer? Murderous? No, I never said that. Clemmer, I love you, bud. You're my good friend. I text you.

You're never getting revenge. Yeah. You lost. You ain't shit. I didn't even enter the game. Why did I lose? It's going to be cool when you do it all. I will feel good when I get there.

It's going to be sick. I will say there's some parts that I'm actually all kidding aside I'm genuinely excited to go to Alaska That's gonna be awesome I think you'll be brought to tears three times in this process Yeah Well yeah I almost Have to walk into a ninth Walmart and don't see a purple hat

I've never been to Pacific Northwest I'm actually very excited to see it So there are some things I'm actually excited to see I think we should save Wisconsin for the last one and have like a flash mob. Ooh, a marching band. Yeah. Yeah, purple marching band. Meet at this location and then we'll just walk around with like 150 people trying to

find a purple hat. Yeah. That would be awesome. That'd be fun. Yeah. That's what we're going to do. Like Forrest Gump running across the street. Yeah, right.

Exactly. Start joining him. I like the idea of Brandon joining me more often on these things. Just have the idea percolated. We can get that. We can get that worked out. No, you cannot. Brandon, would you go to Alaska with him?

Why? Fish him? You mean you have a family and you're middle-aged and don't want to do this? Oh, shit. What? What's your excuse? This is nice. This is spicy.

I'm doing it. Why aren't you doing it? Because I didn't get picked to do it. Well, I'm picking you. But you don't have that authority. I wasn't even here when they told you to do it. I'm enjoying this. You weren't here for that?

No, I wasn't even here that day. What would you have said if they brought this up? I don't know. I probably would have just sat here and said a lame joke every five minutes or so. That sounds about right. Feel that. You guys don't like each other. No, we do like each other.

I don't know what he's doing. I'm not. I didn't like how quickly you didn't even want to go to Mississippi. I didn't like that. I wanted to just be able to tell you. I don't. Yes, and I took a front to that.

I think he was trying to help. I don't think so at all. Why are your defenses so up right now? Because I just drove for a fucking week and I come back and you tell me what town to go to I just simply said hey I'd like to tell you which town what if I told you what if I was going to send you to the most

purple town in the whole state that would be nice what's the most purple town in the whole state or somewhere on the coast because there's a lot of LSU fans yeah but I'm probably going to get that in Louisiana. I can't have duplicates. There's multiple different types of LSU hats.

No, I thought the rule was I cannot. It was. So you can still get a Colorado Rockies hat. Correct. That was the best get. Right. That's why I was nervous. That was huge.

Yeah. I'm nervous about some of the hats. Like, for instance, I get an LSU hat outside of Louisiana. I'm like, fuck. That could be a problem. Your attitude stinks. I think it's great. Call back to Tuesday.

That's right. That's good. He just Liam Gallagher'd. He just replies that to everyone online. Your attitude stinks. Stuff to argue about. If you want to make the rest of the journey a little trickier for Clemmer, these hats are for sale now in the Barstool store. Wear them but what does it say on the back not for sale I have to barter

might see one which I don't mind because it would mean it would help me toward the budget true how's the budget working do I need to send you more money I'm good for right now okay it's also a joke on me I guess so because I'm just giving my money for nothing I know I know I told you i don't know how to like sponsor so i'm on your side come or you it's you and i they're yes yeah you know what it's fucked up what you guys are doing to us thank you thank you thank you undeniably i'll say this we should have skin in the game dan i do i absolutely do rest these people i invented it's true kb you get the blame i was blaming blaming Nick. It's your fault? It's just Nick. No, it's not me.

We're not your enemies. We're not your enemies. Only Kyle. You might be. No, it was Nick. It wasn't my idea. You're the purple guy. I guarantee you your final video will do millions of views, especially on TikTok.

Especially with the flash bomb. People in New York office missed me this week. Not yet. A lot of sacrifice going around. A lot of sacrifice. Name three people who missed you. Marty, I missed you. I missed having you on.

That's one. That's one. I'm sure others. I didn't ask. Oh, Kevin, I think, missed me. No. Kevin doesn't know who you are. Kevin reached.

We just texted yesterday. We're talking about it. What did he say? He's like, what are you doing? What's going on? I'm like, oh. He's wondering why you're not there. Fights i was gonna do an out of order sketch this week doing this instead that's three that's three that's pretty good that is pretty good and what

they say when you told them what you were doing uh they like who's like who's they a lot of you asked me who thought this i blamed you nick but now i'll start blaming kyle thank you yeah i apologize nick i didn't come. I just was obsessed with purple shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that could be the next challenge for him. Buying someone's shoes off their feet.

It'll be cool to say you've been to every state. It would be cool. Very cool. I said there are – the only thing that kind of bummed me out about this, honestly, was I was really trying to make it to a Cardinals game. I'd never been to that stadium, and it just didn't work out time wise and they're this is their last season ever no but i want to see news i want to see news well now but i can't go back to the state for this trip because i already got a missouri one so i like seeing new stadium so if i could tie that

in with this would have been like a win-win and you just ran out of time so that kind of stuff yeah i'm never happier on it swear to god i'm never happy when i'm go to like a new ballpark for the first time it's the greatest thing for me how many have you been to? 17 or 18 including minor leagues? no

maybe that's your next challenge you go to every single ballpark for a summer yeah everyone's kind of done that though I feel one of the challenges I want to do you go to a ballpark every single ballpark in America over a summer and you have to kiss one boy Whoa, you didn't let me finish. Oh, I'm sorry. You go to a ballpark, every single ballpark in America over summer, and you have to kiss one boy.

On the kiss cam. No, no, no. And then you've got to sprint out of the stadium. You kiss cam and run to a kid, and then you sprint out of the stadium. Not him again. Why do we keep putting the kiss cam on the boy kisser? That makes a lot of sense, but I'm married. That would be the ultimate villain.

Someone who hijacks the kiss cam and just makes out with a boy. The boy kisser's done it again. And they're like waving and then he just goes to his boyfriend. Well, I mean, I'm married. Well, Mook, you're not married, right? The boy kisser. Mook actually is. Oh, I didn't know.

I'm sorry. Married to a boy. Mook married a boy. Oh, that's Mook actually is. Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry. Married to a boy. You could have been a... Yeah, Mook married a boy. Oh, that's Mook's boy wife. Ignore my Mook boy wife. You have to introduce me sometime. The boy wears the pants. I just see Clem around a most wanted Boy kisser

No I don't want to be the boy kisser Oh him that's my boy wife I don't want to be the boy kisser He's in third grade No No Alright should we do some gauntlet Let's do some gauntlet

Proper wild Question Yeah We're kind of played out Do you want to find somebody In the building that's new? Yeah. You could.

Yeah. Why don't we do one of us and one of the building? Because we have the wheel. Let's call a random person. Yeah. Well, it's Friday. I'm not sure how many are going to be here on the wheel. We could just go do a search.

Or we send somebody else to get somebody new. I don't know. Well, we had people come on the show. Yeah, yeah. All right. We'll spin the wheel for whoever has to do it, and they have to go get someone else who will also do it. Okay.

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the gauntlet today. Yeah, they are. So I guess you can spin the wheel of us to find out which one of us gets the gauntlet and then goes to find somebody else. And Clemmer's on the wheel as well. Sure. Of course. Good. I'm going to the Chicago Magic

Theater tonight. Really? What happens there? I will give you one single guess What do you mean? What kind of magician do you see? I don't know, I'm up in the mezzanine It was kind of an intimate little room But I think they serve dinner and drinks

A lot happens there, Brandon It was a good question I asked He didn't really answer it He did dinner, magic, he's in a mezzanine Big Cat, have you been to the Chicago Magic Theater? I have not a good question I asked. He didn't really answer it. He did. Dinner, magic. He's in a mezzanine. We got a bunch of details. Big Cat, have you been to the Chicago Magic Theater?

I have not. Going tonight. Are you seeing like an illusionist? I don't know who I'm seeing. I think it's almost like a comedy club where they have guys

that are like past. I like that. That'll be fun. Getting past as a magician. Wait. What happens though if you go and it's just Mojo,

what's his name? Oro. Oh, God. That would be awesome. Yeah. That would be awesome. Do they have kids tickets? I would love an open mic night for Magic.

Oh, that would rule. At comedy open mics, they have magicians sometimes. That should be Jik Week. Has anyone been really good or bad? Jik Week should just be an open mic magic yeah american idol for magic yeah that's that's happening somewhere right no but that will happen here just magic yeah that's actually interesting yeah who's never done a magic show you don't need to throw actually in front of my ideas there was a magician in philly that would come to this open mic and he would get heckled by black

dudes. They'd just be like, yo, get the fuck out of here. Not funny. Alright, so spin the wheel and then this person has to find someone who's never done it or random. Like as random as... Just go up and see what you can find. Alright.

Alright. I right. Ooh. All right. I'll bow. Bye. I'll find somebody. Wait, is that Dean? I'll dine. Dean.

Dean, find someone. I want to see. How's Kyle's foot doing? Got stomped on by Rudy last night? Well, we don't know if it actually happened. Okay. Oh, yeah, there was a big controversy. It seemed like a big controversy.

Rudy was being reckless with his chair, just stomping everywhere. Yeah, but Kyle looked at... I don't know. It's a whole ordeal. He looked at the wrong toe. Yeah, and his foot was far from the chair. He wouldn't show toe.

He wouldn't show toe. He wouldn't show toe. He used to show toe. All I know is that I really did have my baby in the rocking chair, and I had the volume on and didn't realize it, and Kyle went, and I was like, fuck me, god damn it.

There's a clip on the anus Twitter, Lucas, if you want to find it. That was loud. Do you guys find the new bottles with the holes in them affect the time at all compared to the old times? I'd say yes. I think it's a little tougher. I think it's a little tougher, but I don't know.

Okay. I think there's a trick to it. Why? Who's running it? Brandon's the one who's mad all the time. You guys say I'm mad all the time. Brandon's always mad. He's grumpy.

Surly boy Yeah, Clumber I wouldn't say you're mad But you get into like attack mode And then you just go You gotta fight back I love it Gotta fight back

I need more of that Uh oh He's coming back alone Hey Oh, there he is Oh, nice He's got it in him Lanky boys

Are you ready to go, Lance? Do you know everything about the gauntlet? Yes. I've seen it done a bunch of times. Okay. So, yes. All right. Let's go, Lance.

Get up there. Let's do it. You sit right back here for Sporkle. Cool. Look at that boy. Has Lance done it? Have you? I don't think.

No. He's a hooper. I bet he's going to do very well. Six-four. You got to start with it on the ground. He's a hooper. I bet he's going to do very well. 6'4". You got to start with it on the ground. He is a hooper. And a lovely guy. One of the hardest working people here.

It's facts. Oh, he's tall. How tall is he? He's a tall boy. He's taller than Brandon. Yeah, he's taller than Brandon. He's a tall boy. I think he is.

Barely. Yeah, he is. He's tall. He's fully taller. Back to back. I think it's the gravity. Well, Brandon also That's a tall boy. I think he is. Barely. Yeah, he is. He's tall. He's fully taller. Back to back. I think it's the gravity. Well, Brandon also has giant hair. Yeah, Brandon's got a pump.

I'm going to pump it over. Oh, Brandon. No, I think he is. I think Lance is. Lance's ear is higher than Brandon's ear. Yeah. Same height. Good angle.

All right. Glad we said that. All right, you ready, Lance? That was important Yeah Alright here we go 3 2

1 Go Lance is off Not a bad throw Hustle Pick up more bags You can pick up more bags I really to this.

I really struggled with the corner. Yeah. She's better than me. First shot goal. Yeah. No. Lefty. Ah.

Nice. Oh, wow. Oh, no. Did you guys bring up how Lance made out with that chick and somebody took a picture and put it up on the Jumbotron at work? Yeah. Did not bring that up. Wait, what?

Lance, there was a picture of him making out with a chick, and I think Danny Conrad got it put on the Jumbotron for when he came into the office. Just like at a bar? Wait. Yeah. Yeah, no, I remember that. Why is he throwing righty now?

Did he not throw lefty with the horn hole? I think he did. Oh, no. Oh, he kicked lefty. He kicked lefty, yeah. Oh, fuck. He used to be a male model. Yeah, I know.

Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. He has like a... Like for a decently sized company. I'd like to see him in a tailored suit. Yeah. Oh, that is...

Oh, yeah. I think it makes it a little bit more even with not having to get rebounds. Get it, Brandon. Just get it for him. Yeah, why not? Is he an athlete? Did he play sports? Oh, on the run? Whoa!

That would have been sick. He played boys basketball. Where did Brandon go, huh? Look at him. Oh, that was it. I think you got to throw it at kind of an angle. Has anyone done these bottles yet? The new version of the football? I haven't done that yet.

No, I have not. No. I can't tell if it's tough. I think it's tough. Taste on this. I feel like it's an angle thing. Everybody throws straight on, and you have to go for one that's outside. Try to go for an angle.

Brandi gave up again. Run at the ball. Yeah. There it is. Yeah, that was it. It was you saying that that changed everything. Well, he did throw at an angle. Yeah, that was it. It was you saying that that changed everything. Well, he did throw it at an angle. All right, this is a former boys basketball player, Danny Lance.

Luke, that's where you met your wife, right? Yes. Nick, do they have kids? There it is. To the Magic Theater? They could go free. Bring your wife. Boy wife. Or your wife.

We've been eating good at, like, Applebee's. Basketball's coming back next Friday. What? What do you mean? Pickup. We haven't been playing pick-up all summer long. Oh, Jacob was saying he's bummed out. He wants it back.

Well, it's just all summer. Does Lance play? Yeah, Lance plays. Summer was always going to be tough. Brandon, seat. Here we go, Lance. Scenic, right? Eight NFL tight ends with over 8,000 career receptions.

Okay. All right. Donald Trump's kids. Four divisions in the NHL. Nine baby names for the following animals That one maybe Cat Kitten

Puppy Lance is on the board 8,000 career receptions Antonio Gates What the hell Is he spelling pie gate Greg Olson Travis Kelsey That's definitely Gronk What the hell? Is he spelling pie gate? Greg Olson?

Travis Kelsey? That's definitely. Gronk? By the way, that's definitely yards. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was like. That's crazy. 8,000 career receptions?

Most overweight cities in Milwaukee? The most receptions is like the leader is like 100 every year. Are there a lot of fatso's in Milwaukee? That sounds right. I think, right? No. Oh, that's interesting spelling. Green Bay? Had to get them.

Yep. Probably got to do bigger cities. Barron Trump, right? Yes. And Ivanka, isn't that one? Lucas. That must be his wife. That's his boy.

R-R-O-O-N-K-A. I get why Greg Olsen Was so upset Yeah Maybe it's Ivanka Try it Maybe like Apple For Fruit Punch Okay

That's one of the last Wait what was it? That's one of the Oh one term One term when a pitcher Makes an illegal motion To deceive runners He said strawberry

Not a big baseball guy Alright Emma Stone movies? Any luck with that? Baby Tiger. Dude, name some fruits. Yeah, cherries. He said strawberry. There we go.

Blueberry. There you go. This is tough. Mango? Oh, most overweight orange there it is mango before orange Danny Lance on the board

Danny Lance on the board let's see okay that was tough oh no oh no look at that sandwich between. Wow. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Hey, I beat Nicky Smokes. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Who put you Frenching up on the Jumbotron? I think Hank. Oh, okay. Yeah, maybe TJ. I'm not sure.

Okay. But, yeah, no, that was. Good form. Appreciate it. Yeah, good job. I'm not sure. Okay. But, yeah, no, that was – Good form. Appreciate it. Yeah, good job. Thanks, Danny. Yeah, appreciate it. Appreciate you guys.

Yeah, thank you. Happy to do it. You too, Danny. All right. Thank you, boys. Thanks. What was I going to say? The new football is –

Is it harder? It's much harder. And I have taken to... Yeah. I've taken to doing all the rebounding because I'm trying to make it easier on the player, but it's really hard. Kyle.

Now you've got to go back there. That's hard. Do all this. That's not good. But if I have to do all the rebounding, I'm actively participating in the gauntlet now. Right. We should just hire a washed-up receiver to come catch balls.

I mean, you really have to move for 20 seconds, Brandon. It's not that hard. It wasn't 20 seconds, Clemmer. 25. See, you can see where it's... This does seem a lot harder than the bottles. It is harder because it has to be perfect. If it hits the corner at all, it's not going in.

Except for that one that went in. Has anyone tried underhand? No, Big Cat, you can't walk off. You didn't do it. He did it. Big Cat walked off like he performed that. Oh, my. See where it's a little more difficult.

Because the other one, I don't know if y'all know, you had to hit a bottle. This one you have to put it through a hole. Yeah. Johnny Menzel would have crushed this. We should target former athletes we think would be good at it. Yeah. Just reach out to Johnny just to come do it. I think he would come. Seven?

Who's the oldest athlete that could do it well? Willie Mays just died, huh? He would have been great. He'd be good. Oh, Yastrzemski? Willie Mays just died, huh? He would have been great. He'd be good. Collier Stremski? Eh, nobody knows your old baseball players. Collier Stremski? Never heard of him.

Oh, Nick, where'd that come from? Come on, you know who he is. You got a big sandwich? What? Look at that. You got a big sandwich. I guess I do. What the fuck?

Gluten-free bread? Oh, boy. Yeah, you can walk off if you want to. You can quit. What guess I do. What the fuck? Gluten-free bread? Oh, boy. Yeah, you can walk off if you want to. You can quit. What do we do to make this... Make the holes bigger, I guess. I don't know. What if...

I don't know, Dan. Maybe you're just a massive failure. What if you made the cap part of the hole? Well, that's the cap. How are you going to keep the juice in it? Well, yeah, but to drink, you need to take the cap part of the hole? Well, that's the cap. How are you going to keep the juice in it? Well, yeah, but to drink, you need to take the cap off anyway. To enjoy body armor. Hey!

Easy peasy. Shit's easy. I did hit one from inside the Axe studio. I heard that from Blutman, and I'm not doubting you because I know it happened, but that's so hard to believe. How'd you get it airborne enough? I'm a fucking beast like that.

I don't know. They got a big sandwich. A big old sandwich. Maybe we should do Oh, Malisa, come here for a sec. Maybe we should do some kind of situation where there's bottles in front, and if you hit the bottle in front, you pass, and then if you hit it in, you get like five seconds off your time.

I don't know. Why would you try to get it in at all if you could hit the bottle? Let's put the small bottles. Let's do a little ledge in the hole, and you just have to knock the bottle. Oh, that's good. How are we going to get it in there? Little ledge. In there. Che just sent to knock the bottle. Oh, that's cool. How are we going to get it in there? Little edge. Che just sent us throwing mechanic advice.

Tell him to fuck off. Che didn't do it well either. You throw to a left bottle, your shoulder will close more and you'll have a better follow through. So start middle or right or throw to a bottle to your left. Thank you, Steven. I think he's right. Malsek. Yeah.

What did you do with that number last night uh i have not done anything with it yet i was uh added onto their softball group chat and uh malicek was at the bar last night and a girl handed him a napkin with a number saying i think you're cute your next move for you yeah so i haven't done anything. Text her right now. All right. Did you like her? Yeah, she literally walked up to me and was like, hey, I think you're very cute.

Here's my number. Text me if you want, and then left the bar. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Go get a napkin from the kitchen and write, hey, what's up, and then send her a picture of the napkin. Oh, man. Cute as fuck. That's cute as fuck

That's cute as fuck That is good That's a romcom shoot Dude they're gonna get married If he does Yeah How does that shit Even happen though

Like he's Nick Diversion Yeah I didn't know That happened in real life Yeah they sent a picture He was just holding it up I mean he's cute He's cute as a button guys

Yeah He is But like still That shit doesn't happen Yeah but girls know He can't shake I think that happens To good looking dudes It does that shit doesn't happen. Yeah, but girls know he can't shake. I think that happens to good-looking dudes. It does, yes. It doesn't happen to dudes like us.

I think it does. He's not a toe curler, I'll tell you that. Doesn't use soap, though, right? That's correct. She doesn't know that. Should I text her and be like, hey, I'm Malasek's boss. Wait, he sent a picture of the number, right? Yeah.

Oh, let's all send her a text Let's all wing it No let's put her in a group chat Let's play Jeopardy with her I'm going to send her a clip of me giving Malasek that idea The group chat's pretty good Yeah let's throw her in a group chat No we're not going to do that

I really want to see what she responds to this. Yeah. It's going to be good. I think it's going to be real good. Real good. Did he not find a napkin? What's he... He seems good.

He's sauntering right now. I think he's nervous. Oh. Do you like her? Oh my God, you love her. You love her. Do you love her, dude? Are you in love with her?

I'm getting a napkin. One second, hold on. Holy shit. He's in love with her. Yeah. It happens quick. It's puppy love. She's going to break his fucking heart.

Yeah. Breaks up with him on a napkin, too. One night you're in a bar and she gives you a napkin and five minutes later you're in divorce court splitting up everything you own that is how it happens you're giving her things you really want and are special to you but

you just want this over with you had before that she ever came in the picture also she doesn't even like that kind of dog when you got divorced what did you have to split up, Clemmer? The only thing... We didn't own any property. We didn't even own a car together. Luckily. Yes, because that would be a disaster.

We split up our movie collection. That was probably the most... What? Was it like the picture with the Beanie Babies? You ever seen that one? It's a classic. Search Beanie Babies divorce. don't know. You ever seen that one? No. It's a classic. How did she search Beanie Babies divorce?

Did you have a draft? No. It was like kind of I guess in some ways yeah because like I'm taking this one. I'm taking this.

I'm taking this. So kind of. That's a draft. Was there any movie you remember that you're like I can't believe she got this? The one thing that

kind of like What did you fight over? Like oh come on. It was a so we had a framed picture of North by Northwest the Alfred Hitchcock movie. Sure. we both i introduced it to her but we both watched it together and

both loved it that's your piece i i would think so yeah did you get it as a gift for her or how'd you get it we got it together it's the best oh i have to yeah yes yeah uh we got it together to make just to make something for the apartment Like oh what movie I want to get a movie poster And we decided on that movie And then But she kept it But then I'm thinking

I don't want it anyway Because like It just reminds me of you So like I haven't seen North by Northwest Since we got Since we split up Huh

Ten years ago Do you still talk to her over No I can't wait Yeah because I guess You have nothing No that's a great thing No kids

It's just a really Horrific breakup That's all it is When you don't have kids You ever like stalk her Facebook or Instagram No. I can't wait. Yeah, because I guess you have nothing. No, that's a great thing. No kids. It's just a really horrific breakup. That's all it is when you don't have kids. You ever stalk her Facebook or Instagram? I did. When you first, the first year, you're like, what is she doing? God damn. Yeah.

The first year, you're always curious. It's probably like a breakup. But then you move on. And now you're so angry when you get divorced. You're so upset. You're so hurt. But now if I saw her in New York, I would say hi. It all circles back.

His wife's big thing was wearing purple hats. Right. But I don't have any animosity now toward her. She's the last purple hat. In the moment though. Oh, that'd be wild. In the Northwest. North by Northwest.

Now, what movie did you choose first? What do you mean? What was it? Oh. Collection. I wasn't really. I don't remember. I don't remember. Now, what movie did you choose first? What do you mean? What was it? Oh! Collection. I wasn't really... I don't remember. I don't even want to...

I don't remember. I was very upset. You're like just taking... You kind of take what you think is more yours. Probably movies that I already had owned before I met her. That kind of thing. You're kind of just sorting those that way. Do you want to write the thing?

No, I don't want to write the thing. Is that a paper towel? That's a paper towel. Write it on the big net. Write it on our big net. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could write... No, no, no, don't. Oh, That's a paper towel. Write it on the big net. Oh, yeah. No, you would be writing your phone number on a napkin that's up. Oh, yeah, write it on the napkin.

Hey, what's up? Yeah, I'm an idiot. If you do want to write your number on the napkin. Write Lucas' number on the napkin. Who are you at the bar with, Jake? The Pugs. Say, hey, what's up, cute guy from last night. Yeah, I like that.

Hey, what's up, it's Jake. I figure this is how you prefer to communicate. I don't know. I will say napkin just there would be cute. Napkin pinned to a wall. Well, he can take it down. Take it off the wall. Yeah, do dash cute guy from last night.

Is he ripping it on the right one? Do a video and then drop the napkin and have your cock behind it. Oh, oh. And then maybe say like UVA class of 2019 or something. 21? No, don't actually. Wait, you actually wrote cute guy from last night? Yeah, that's good.

Okay. That's how she knows. Take the napkin off. Take it down and we're going to take a picture with you holding it, right? No. No, no, no. Just take it up there. Take it from up there.

Okay. Yeah, it's kind of weird. Is it going to look like a napkin to her? Well, no. Don't let her see the pins in it. Zoom in. Don't do the pins. Zoom in. Don't do the pins. I agree.

Get it all white. Don't let her see it stuck to a wall. Yeah, there you go. Send it. No, no. Sit down. Don't wait for the response. I bet you it's going to purposely wait a little bit. All right.

It's 1.34. You think we get it by 1.40? If we get it by 140... We're in? Yeah. If you get it in 15 minutes, you're in. Yeah. Because they purposely will wait about that length. Yep.

I think she's going to tap the photo and ha-ha it. Oh. That's a response. Would that mean nothing else? That wouldn't be good. That's catastrophic. A heart is sex. I don't think that's catastrophic.

I would. Yeah. Because there's no next step. Wait. What if she thumbs down the picture? All right. I would. Yeah. Because there's no next step. Wait, what if she thumbs down the picture? All right, I've sent it. Are you nervous? No, I mean, I was flattered. I was very ballsy, and I respected it from her last night.

That was cool. And she was attractive? She was cute. Yeah, cute. Nice. Yeah, it was cool. That's fucking awesome. So it's a good feeling.

It was nice. So when you sent the napkin in the group chat, you remember big cat was in it uh i did not because tom took the picture i didn't know what he was gonna do with it and then once big cat saw the picture i was like ah it's probably not good it's over that's fine i'm rooting for you guys thanks so you're not the one who put the napkin in the group chat someone else was like yeah tom said take a picture okay hold it up clarifying i't know. I didn't send it in. Invite her here. No, it's cool.

Just right now? Yeah. Don't, don't, don't, don't. I'm rooting for you guys. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. And I was worried.

The reason why I invited you on is because I feel like the way you're wired, you just never would have texted her. He wouldn't have. I would have debated it. Yeah, and then you wouldn't have. You know.

Do you have any bubbles yet? No, nothing. Read receipt? Delivered. That's good. That means it's real. You should probably FaceTime her and follow up. We should have put a ketchup stain on the napkin.

Let her know it's a napkin. Right, now it's just a Zoom napkin. I'm nervous. Do you think Che will be mad about the napkin. Right. Now it's just a Zoom. Yeah. I'm nervous. Do you think Che will be mad about the napkin? I don't give a fuck. That whole wall. Aside from High Noon, that whole wall is things we don't give a single fuck about. Hey!

I actually hope Che's mad about it So I can just In his face Be like I do not give a fuck That feels And you mean it Yeah Yeah I want him to get upset We should use that napkin

Like the Woody Page sign Yeah Always write something On there Yeah Any response Shit I could just come back

If it does happen No you need to sit there You might have blown it No she's conferring With the girls right now okay if you were like absolutely melted by this what would you respond to show that i would i would wait about 15 to 30 minutes and do a like tap the photo haha and then i'd wait another few hours what evening whoa and that's really what you would do you're sick that's crazy yeah i wouldn't respond's really what you would do? You're sick. That's crazy. Yeah. I wouldn't respond to a write-off. I would do the initial, hey, I've seen it, and then I'd loop back around later in the evening and say.

What is your motive on not giving him too much at once? Trying something different for a change. Okay. Switching things up a little bit, I guess. No, what would you really do then hmm would you like say not you

no I'm saying somebody else no I would say hey I was at work I thought that was funny today what are you up to this weekend I already said many words here we go

what are you up to this weekend you said you were going to try something different I was like what would you normally do if that was different? Do you think people have ever tried to date me, Brandon? I don't know. I don't know what I would do. I did most of my dating pre-text. No, I did all of my dating pre-text and all that.

So I don't understand any of this shit. I don't think I ever had. So you've never texted hoes? No. Have you ever had? The first time I ever. That's for you. The first time I ever got. Give that number to Brandon. First time I ever got a text from a girl late at night at like 2 a.m.

and she was trying to do something, I had no idea what it was. I was like, what the fuck? This is that girl. You don't know how to text hoes. This is that girl's number. Why is this appearing? That was the first text message I ever got. Wait, your first ever text was a booty call?

It was from a girl that she was checking in. She was like, we had been out together as part of a group and i was like yeah we'll do something sometime she texted me an hour after we got home it was like 1 30 and it was like are you still out and then i was i just didn't answer because i didn't know what idiot what year was this and what apparatus uh i'm gonna say this was 2002 and i had a a Nokia cell phone I got for working at Radio Shack. Snake? I had Snake on. It was the little one.

Snake was the best. The little Nokia phone, because I worked at Radio Shack, and all employees had to have one. Did you have a pager, too? I had a pager back in the 90s. It was bought for me by a girlfriend, and I had it until we broke up, and she repossessed the pager. Whoa. I want pagers to make a comeback. Pagers just notify you that you're getting a call?

No, pagers notify you you need to call them. Yeah, that would be stressful. It'd be like the number you need to call so you go to payphone and then call them. Oh, that's cool. It's before anyone had cell phones so you'd basically just be like, you got an emergency, call them.

So how would I pay somebody? You have a page number? Yeah, you have a number. Call them. So how would I page somebody? You have a page number? Yeah, you have a number. Just invent the software. Doctors still have pagers, don't they? Kind of. Maybe. Probably not anymore.

Is that the same as a beeper? Yeah. Yeah, pager and beeper are the same thing. You know who sold beepers, right? Big Bob Attack. Yep. I didn't know that. Power move. You didn't just that. Power move.

You didn't just sell them. You get a response back. It's another photo. She's got a napkin in her cleavage, and it says LOL. Wow. Is that too much, or are you done then? I think you'd be like, save that napkin. We'll need it.

I will say Girls Game has evolved in 2024. In what way? I recently got called extremely gay on Hinge by a girl. And it worked? It worked. Fired me up. More ironic. I took a gay test on stream yesterday. Yeah? Yeah. Not too bad. Yeah. It said you're probably straight.

Thank you, Kate. You're welcome. Congrats. I did watch a guy get clowned by a group of girls last night at that table, too, last night. Not one of our boys, but it was bad. He walked up to this girl. He was like, I think you're so beautiful. Like, random. I think you're so beautiful.

Can I get your phone number? The girl then was like, I'm so sorry. I have a boyfriend. The whole thing. He walked away. Then all of her friends were like, you don I have a boyfriend. The whole thing. He walked away. Then all of her friends were like, you don't have a boyfriend. Man. I just watched that

from afar. You just can't go up to a girl and be like, you're so beautiful. It was a bad line, but the arrow was tough. It was tough. You gotta wait till you get the eyes. Yeah. The eyes from across the bar. It was a tough watch. Did you play the game that we played last time? I thought about it, but it felt weird without you there. That's true. was mook and i when we were at the same bar

two weeks ago oh you're asking how many what three weeks yeah so we would go we would look at couples sitting at the bar and we would guess i would set the line on what number date they were on and then mook would go up and ask them and were you guys right uh yeah we had some good numbers yeah i think we split yeah it was Yeah, we went two and two. That is a fun game. Very fun game. Hey, I've been watching you. Yeah, we would stare at you for the past 20 minutes.

What did you do if you're like someone who's married? Well, we would do like, so one of them was like one and a half dates. Like, is that a first date? Or it was like six and a half months together. Okay. Yeah. There was one couple that was very comfortable versus one couple that was dressed up way too nice to be at the bar that we were at.

And then there was one couple we were convinced it was like six months and they were coworkers. Yeah. Oh, so they, yeah. Juicy. Yeah.

Good game. We're on that back though. That was fun. This weekend. Let's do it. I like the move of hitting on somebody right before you leave the bar. Yeah. Cause then you don't have to marinate in it if it doesn't go well.

It's out of your hands. That's a good, yeah. No, I respected that last night. That was impressive by that girl. I don't have that ball so good for her. I hope this starts a beautiful thing. Are you completely about it though?

Well, I'm never really completely about it. Yeah, I mean he's... I think that's what I said. Very rarely am I. I mean he's okay i think that's what i said very rarely am i let me see your hand i think yeah i think he's when when they sent the text the first text i sent back was like that's going straight in the trash because i just know him he's yeah it's no offense to her it's just he's not about it no i but i i that is something i very much respected last night it was like damn i'm like i'm impressed by that okay what i don't i don't like next move

is yours dot dot dot this you're walking into it you wrote that oh she wrote that uh her phone number's on there though so be careful yeah i'm not yeah yeah yeah i don't know dot dot dot i don't even know her name she didn't introduce herself or anything walked up to me gave me the napkin left respect that'd be awesome if she was a yakker watching this all play out. She'd be like, all that hot goalie's here. I'm calling her. Ouch. No, no.

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Great week. Fun week. Fun week. Great job, Lucas. For the most part. He did do a great job in the fact that he gave us great content by He did. By being a moron. How's the phone?

It's fine right now. I mean, I'm not getting anything crazy. I'm going to probably start blocking people this weekend so I can keep my phone number. Because, I mean, it's out there, so people are going to keep texting me and calling me. I'm just going to block everyone that called me. The next Jerry After Dark you do is going to be bad.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That might make it tough. Let's spin it, Lucas. A super chat of Lucas's phone number. He has to read it. What a really, really good idea. No one do that.

Good thing you didn't just say that. Don't do that. Don't do it. I will be so fucking mad. You guys will all be in timeout. Wheel. Oh. wheel oh alright Clemmer always great having you around

thanks no voice counts for Kate yeah I've been called sir twice once at camp and once at the VA the other day so in like the last week alone who called you sir at camp? NBA hole Huey.

Yeah. Sir. That's very funny. Yeah. All right. Long weekend. We won't be here on Monday, but next week we have

Data Day on Wednesday and then Will Compton Day on Thursday. See you guys next week. Bye. uh thanks for having me these three days guys tj will be back tuesday peace don't text me