The Yak - Lil Sas Was On The Edge Of His Seat Watching Outer Banks Season 2 | The Yak 8-9-21

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Rone is back too, just listen to how much the newlywed is glowingYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What the fuck? What? Oh, look at him. Is this like when Wayne's World sold out? They updated the graphic and still didn't put us on it. Holy shit. Right on ED treatments. Damn. What the fuck? Brandon, do you have trouble getting hard?

Yeah. I didn't know they knew about it. Wow. Why is it over your head like a thought bubble? This is like such a cell phone by Roman. I actually appreciate them sponsoring and being like, hey, this is a show with a bunch of dudes who can't get their dicks hard. Show everybody else. How's your dicks,

boys? Softies. Hey, Owen, how's that dick? Soft dicks stand up. How's that pecker doing? Spread. Just a little Sharon Stone. Ronan's back. Officially. I bet your dick's tired.

Oh, my God. Put that thing to bed. That shit is funny. I think he's been working overtime. Retire my penis. Put my penis out the pasture. Shoot it in the back of the head like mice and men. Put that cock up in the rafter.

Hang my dick up. Please hang my dick. Oh, man. Good to see you, boys. I miss you boys a bunch. We missed you a lot. It's good to see you boys I miss you boys a bunch I miss you We missed you a lot It's good to see you

It's good that you're back You guys are my friends You know what I mean I got to spend some time With my friends at home But these are my fucking I fucking miss this show especially Just being able to

Yak with you guys I loved that mic thing Oh yeah the mics Dude most of my friends Are mic And that was How do you have that many Mic friends

Have you posted that before? No, that was the first I've ever. I thought maybe you had told me the story of how the mics all get together. And it's a longstanding. It's like a 10-year tradition that the mics, whenever they see each other, they get a mic pick, and they're adding mics little bit by little bit. The mic chant was my favorite part. They were just so genuinely giddy.

Mike, Mike, Mike. It's just good, wholesome content of dudes loving each other. Look at these guys. How many friends you got to have to have 14 Mike's? There's so many Mike's. And there's not that many other friends. They're all ages, too. It spans generations, this Mike thing.

When they started chanting Mike, Mike, Mike, I got jealous that my name's not Mike. That's what they do. Mike, Mike, Mike. When I was at college last year, I had a group of friends, and four out of five of them were all named Mike. Oh, they should join. Really? Yeah.

Your two best friends are Max. Yeah, I know. It was a different group of friends. You have two Maxes? You have two Maxes. You have Max and Max? Yeah. Wow.

That is weird. You get into hijinks all the time? Max and Max? Because you don't see a lot of Maxes. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Two of them. They're both named Max.

Maxwell's? Or Maximillian's? One of them is Maxwell. Maximillian. Is the other a million? Maximillian is a lot of... That's an aggressive-ass Roman name. What about Maximus?

Is it Maximus? No. Just Max. Just Max. Thanks for ruining it. You seem angry about Max. No, not at all. Yeah, the Mikes are fucking electric.

There were eight. Or Johns. Yeah, Johns. Johns and the Larrys. There were only three Larrys. The fact that there's three Larrys is pretty surprising. There's a lot of Larrys. How many fucking people are there?

There's a family name, though, the Larrys. Yeah, I actually like the Larrys. They try to get together for a picture. They try to make it happen. The Larrys are like whenever we get to election season, it's like you've got to really get, like if you could sweep up this vote. Yeah, yeah, the Latino vote.

Yeah, the Presbyterian vote. Yeah, like we've got to get the Larry like, if you could sweep up this vote. Yeah, yeah. The Latino vote. Yeah, the Presbyterian vote. Yeah, like, we got to get the Larrys. We got all the Larrys. But there are not a lot of them. And they're all floor layers, obviously. It goes without saying that they all lay floor. Oh, man. But, yeah, I had another wedding last weekend.

I'm weddinged up. Dude, a lot of joy, a lot of happiness. Just good tidings. Tears. Good tidings going around. Love it. How was Hawaii? Majestic.

Saw colors I've never seen before. The full color spectrum was incredible. Hawaii's insane. Hawaii's the one place that I've been to that it's like everyone overrates it, then you go there and it's somehow underrated. Yeah, it was underrated. You toss it up and then it's better than what people said. Did you do some good hikes?

It looked like you got some good hikes in. Devastating hikes. A seven-mile fucking uphill both ways. I'm doing a 14-miler this weekend. Are you serious? Yeah. Are you going to breathe? Remember to breathe this time?

Yeah. I don't think the altitude in Wyoming is as bad as Denver. It depends on where you are. Buddy, that sounds like— You're in for a rude away— Cheyenne? Yeah. Have fun with the bends. Denver starts out a mile above. Buddy, that sounds like... Cheyenne? Yeah. Have fun with the Benz.

But Denver starts out a mile above. Dude, Wyoming is taller. Same mountain range. No way. Same mountain range. No way. It's on a butte. It's fucking just locked up.

No way we're doing 14 miles. Yellowstone? Where are you going? What's the name? It's the two mile high city. I don't know exactly where it is, but it's close to Sheridan Airport. Sheridan, Wyoming. Actually, Sheridan's a cowboy country, so it's a hotel.

We're doing this hike called Twin Lakes, and the top of the mountain is a lake. Sheridan, Wyoming is 7,000 feet above sea level. Oh, my God. That's not crazy. That's 2,000 feet higher than Denver. Yeah. Well, it's 2,000 feet higher than Denver flat. We did a hike in Denver.

No, I'm saying that's the airport. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. I don't know why I assumed that you looked up the hike. No, I didn't look up the hike. What's the hike? Twin Peaks?

Twin Lakes. Twin Lakes. Not Twin Peaks. Why Wyoming? You just doxed yourself. I'd be surprised. Listen, if you want to go get a picture with Sass, go to Twin Lakes. It's that simple.

Okay, so Twin Lakes is 12,000 feet above sea level. Adios, Coojean. 12,000 feet above sea level. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Jesus Christ. Your lungs are going to explode again. You're going to need an oxygen tank. And I'll be on Grit Week next week, so I won't be here to get you in the hospital.

Why are you only doing hikes at very high places? I also like the bicycle. That's where you do them. Yeah. You could do a hike in New York State, 2,000 feet elevation. Well, the hikes in New York are pretty tall, too. They're steep. Brandon's like, yeah, let's just go hiking.

But also, the hikes in New York aren't comparable. There's no hikes in New York where the top of the mountain is a lake. Is that what's going on there? Yeah, that's what Twin Lakes is. It's awesome. There's a lot of lakes in New York State. There's three-story hooters on 34th. Yeah.

Is it Margaritaville? Don't they have a pool? Yeah. Margaritaville and Times Square. They have a pool? Yeah. A pool at the top of their hike. Where are you going on Grit Week?

DC, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Buffalo. What are you guys doing? Shows? No, we're just doing interviews. Did you do one last year or no? We didn't because of COVID. So we did a 24-hour live stream. Oh, right, right, right.

Oh, Billy ran a marathon. Yeah, he had 24 hot dogs. That was actually super badass. Yeah, super badass. He ran a marathon in like five hours on a treadmill. It was like, oh, I just wanted to get it over with so I could drink. That's a vital man. It was crazy. It was nuts.

Doing a marathon and then drinking strictly beer after has to be the worst thing you can do for yourself. Also, doing a marathon on a treadmill. It's brutal. After a long-ass workout, you feel like you can eat or drink anything. You're like, I was just so fucking healthy I can afford to just smash some shit into my body. You guys were crushing pizzas yesterday.

Oh yeah. Pizza. You always eat well. I need to start eating well. Come on over on Sundays to, to the office, to the house. Mange with the boys. I was eating raw fish at one in the morning last night. Why?

Uh, what? It wasn't raw? It was sushi. Yeah. That's raw. No. Yeah. I? It wasn't raw, it was sushi. Yeah, that's raw, no? Yeah, I know, but yeah. It was grocery store sushi. Yeah. Well, hopefully it's good.

I bought it and then never got hungry, and then I was half asleep, half awake, in a panic that it'd be bad if I didn't have it that night. Isn't it already the worst day? Sunday sushi is a... That was an early Bourdain move to avoid sushi on Sundays. That's even worse.

Yeah. When did the Amish ever handle sushi, fish, at all? It's good sushi. It's really good. Is it? Yeah, they make good sushi there. The Pennsylvania Plains. Yeah.

You guys at PA? Oh, yeah. Shut up. My stomping grounds. No way. Fucking love PA. I finished Outer Banks last night. Don't tell me you haven't finished. No, I was gone all week. I finished Outer Banks last night. Don't tell me you haven't finished.

No, I was gone all week. Who watches Outer Banks? I do. A lot of people. Me and Sass. It's good. Us 20-year-olds. I saw a 20-year-old next to me on the plane the other day watching Outer Banks, just crushing episodes.

It's the worst show, but it's great. I don't think it's as bad as people. I think the first season, the couple first episodes were really bad. So you watch it because it's bad? It's a turn-your-brain-off show. It seems like everyone's watching it ironically, but not. No, it's a turn-your-brain... I think you're saying that, but you actually enjoy it.

It's a turn-your-brain-off show, and it also has perfected that it's a binge-watching show, but each episode ends on a massive cliffhanger. Yeah, every episode is like a finale. Every single episode, you're like, whoa, what happens next? What episode are you on? Three. I just finished three.

All right. So I got like seven more cliffhangers. He's got this attitude like you don't even know. No, you don't. Because I actually thought the beginning first, I thought the first half of the season was really boring. Yeah. And I didn't like it.

But once you hit episode five, shit hits the fan. Damn. What is the, what's the show about? It's about some kids. It's a treasure hunting show. Is it people always shooting at teens from what I understand? Yeah. It's just people getting in gunfights with teenagers as they run away on boats.

And it's like four-year-old men who play 16-year-olds. Yeah. And it's like teenagers from the wrong side of the tracks, even though they still live in a vacation town. They're like two parts of the town, like two sides of the town. They're like really poor, but the house that they live in would still cost like $10 million. It's on the ocean, and they have a boat. And then there's the rich kids.

They all have multiple boats. Yeah, they have beef, and then they go hunting for treasure. It's class warfare between the rich kids with boats and the poor kids with boats. Who can get the gold? Are people getting shot? Do people actually get shot? Oh, yeah. The kids are getting shot? Yeah, dude. The kids get shot at on the red. Did you guys ever see One Tree

Hill? No. Really? No, I never watched it. I was aware of it. I don't know why you would lie about that. I also don't know what it really is. Well, it's like I feel like it was Outer Banks before Outer Banks. When was it? I don't know. It was like mid-2000s, maybe.

Yeah, 05 or something like that. There's an episode where it's junior prom, and she gets kidnapped from it, tortured in her basement, and held at knife point. And then this episode ends, and the next episode starts with Nathan Scott at the free throw line in the championship basketball game. it does sound like a show it does sound like outer banks i i i feel like outer banks though is so unrealistic that it doesn't make it like as cringy like i feel like 13 reasons why it's one of those shows that like it's like supposed to be realistic it's supposed to be like inspirational and's supposed to be inspirational and brings awareness to the trauma.

But it's so unreal. Here's the difference. Here's what Outer Banks to me is. You turn your brain off. You're not actually invested in any of the characters. A good counter-programming would be a Mare of Easttown. When you're watching Mare of Easttown, you're kind of on the edge of your seat. It's a phone down show. No, I disagree because

the final episode of season two, I'm not going to say anything. I was just going to say I was pausing it every five minutes because I was like stressed. I was like, I got to take a deep breath. These are your peers. No, I guarantee you will be too. It's good.

I have no investment with any of the characters. You will. Be prepared to cry. Just bring a box of tissues. You don't even know. Mare of Easttown was gut-wrenching at times. This was gut-wrenching. Because it's real life.

This is fake fantasy. I wanted to get a Pogue for Life tattoo when I finished the season. Now, were they supposed to be juniors in high school? I think they're all 14. Yeah, they're all like 16, 17. Wasn't that the same thing with like Friday Night Lights? Like to even make it a long series, they had to start people off as freshmen, but they were like adult actors.

Yeah, full beards. That's why I didn't watch Friday Night Lights because I watched like the second episode. Tim Riggins was a 15-year-old kid who was a lifelong drunk with 38-year-old man. Yeah, and he was like talking about having three ways with the Saracen sisters when he was supposed to be 14. I don't like high school shows.

I don't like programming about high school. Like Euphoria, too. Maybe I'm an ageist. Euphoria, yeah. In 13 Reasons Why, there's literally a school shooting episode,

and one of the kids like they're like friends with the kid who's shooting up the school and he like goes up and like grabs the barrel of the gun from his hand and he's like

you don't have to do this. And it's like in no scenario in high school does this happen. He came up and just put his finger in the gun and don't do it. Gave him a Pepsi can

with Kylie Jenner. What's regarded as the best high school show? Freaks and Geeks. I thought you were going to say Freaks and Geeks. I was going to say Freaks and Geeks. That only lasted like a season right? Sav With Kylie Jenner. What's regarded as the best high school show? I thought you were going to say High School Shooter. I was going to say Freaks and Geeks. That only lasted like a season, right? Saved by the Bell. That's good.

Saved by the Bell is a good one. But it's not regarded. Boy Meets World is good. Yeah. The Wonder Years. The Wonder Years is really good. The Wonder Years is probably it, yeah. Cobra Kai is good with high school.

There's a lot of good sitcom high school shows. Malcolm in the Middle. Was that high school? I thought he was in middle school. I thought he good with high school. There's a lot of good sitcom high school shows. Malcolm in the Middle. Was that high school? I thought he was in middle school. He's in middle school. Some of them are in high school. Dewey. Super Bad.

No, Dewey is the younger one. Super Bad. Should we talk about the show on Thursday? Yeah. Thursday? We have a show on Thursday. Live show? Are you not aware We have a show on Thursday. Live show? Are you not aware?

I thought it was Friday. I was not going to be dumbass We don't have a show during the day on Thursday. We have a show at night. And it is going to be at the Full Circle Bar 318 Grand Street,

Brooklyn, New York. Yes, sir. There's only 70 tickets available. What? So you have to show proof of vaccination to enter. Oh, God. Here we go. With these vaccine passports. You know the school. tickets available. What? So you have to show proof of vaccination to enter. Oh god here

we go with these vaccine passports. You know the school is talking about this. It's bullshit. Fuck. Anyway. Might as well make everyone wear a fucking star. Email Quigs he can make you one. Yeah. You must

solve this puzzle just tell the bartender the answer. And the puzzle, are we putting it up? Are we tweeting it? So all you gotta do is go to the bar and solve this puzzle And it's 70 tickets So if you go now You can get a ticket, right? No, the bar opens at 4

They're open 4 until late tonight And you can go tomorrow, you can go Wednesday Whatever, you could even risk it What if just no one solves the puzzle um if it's so hard yeah it is it's cryptic i think i have a feeling that the bartender's gonna if you go to the bar and say they're like wrong they probably will give you a second guess no no they're they're staffed up they they know what's going on what's staffed up i'm gonna say right now if, if you can get it within-

If you go to the bar, you will be able to get it. Yeah, if you get it within two guesses. You get two guesses. Yeah. No, they're staffed up. No, but actually, everyone should get this. Everyone should get this. They're staffed up, though, so I don't-

Shout out to Steven for making the puzzle and for- Should I tweet this right now, Steven? Yeah. For your journey here today yeah you can just make sure um the to note that they open it for and you know with new york city requirements they are requiring the proof of x all right so who should i send all the people that get angry about it to um the yak barcelona dms all right pick central i tweet this out oh we can talk while you tweet this out. Jay, you want to run us through your morning quick?

Yeah, I want to hear about the morning. And I also want to know what the live show is going to be like. What are we going to do? Yeah, what are we doing? Are we just doing a regular, yeah? Slapstick, right? Let's do something. Oh, and I'll be in skee-ball.

So it's a skee-ball world championships, the kid versus the cat. It's going to be at this location, which you're going to tweet out at 4. The tickets will be available at 4 today for you to go in and ask. And yeah, it'll be 8 o'clock I believe on Thursday. And then the main event, which is the Ski Ball, is going to be at 9.

And ladies get in free. Of course. You know what it is. There's only 70 tickets, but that's just for the dudes. We're planning on having An overflow of ladies Just for the penises 21 and up And then 17 and up Yeah

17 to get busy 21 to get dizzy Yep Rules are rules Dude we had bars like that All the bars were like that At my school Which is weird

I started to get dizzy Looking back No 21 and up for guys 18 and up for girls. People are definitely going to get mad at me about the vaccine part. Definitely. That's just the rule in New York. You can't get mad at him for it.

Actually, yeah, New Yorkers won't get mad. Does that mean that people on the show can't get mad at you? I actually was thinking about that the other day. You are not vaccinated. What are you doing? Are you actually not? No, I just was riding with the antibodies. He slipped under the radar. I talked to Steve and Jay about this. Why don't you get vaccinated? Are you actually not? No. I just was riding with the antibodies.

He slipped under the radar. Jesus, Brandon. I thought about that the other day. What are you doing? It's a personal decision. It's getting to the point where people will get mad at you. Just get it. Okay, just relax.

I'm not going to let a 20-year-old yell at me. I'm fine. But when you don't get into the bar. I'm going to get it. I was going to get it Thursday, but now. Yes, what? Also, just say you are.. Don't get into the bar. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to get it. I was going to get it Thursday. But now. Yes. What? Also, just say you are.

You can't get it. Don't get it on Thursday. You're going to be sick for the. No, he got it right before he'd be. Oh, he wouldn't get sick. If I get tomorrow. If I get tomorrow. I'm OK.

Right. If you get. No, you got tomorrow. You're going to be hilarious. You should get it on Thursday afternoon. And then you just not. How long is Friday? Like for like four days.

I was sick for like 24 hours. Four days. You sick on friday like 96 hours i was really sick though like not everyone gets it out yeah there's no point he's not getting it no i will i steven did not tell you i promised you i'd get it yesterday you did there so the bar just let us know like overnight that that was a requirement okay all right i've been meaning to get it anyway because i got a lot of traveling to do so it's a personal. I've been meaning to get it anyway. Because I've got a lot of traveling to do. It's a personal decision though. I don't want to be an asshole. It's a HIPAA violation.

It might affect other people, but it's personal. You're also anti-vaxxer. That's what you said, right? I didn't say that. That's why your first dog died? No, she had eclampsia. She didn't have enough calcium in her body. I'm pretty sure that's something that can easily be solved with a vaccine.

Just trying to fight it off like Steve Jobs. So tomorrow I've got to get my dog vaccinated too, is that what you're telling me? Yes. I'm going to get Sam vaccinated. Sam is at a year and three months, boys. He is living. I'm vaccinated and I had COVID and I got the antibody infusion, so I'll just spit down your throat.

Would you? Yeah. About time. I want that infusion. I thought I had the variant. Still think I might. What? Oh, definitely.

I've been sick for like a week straight. What? You've been sick as long as I've known you. Yeah. You're just so frail. No, that's not true. You know what you are, Sass, is that you are the downside of modern science because 100 years ago, you would have died at childbirth,

and we wouldn't have had to deal with you. Now modern science keeps someone like you alive for 80 years when really you should have died when you were four. Natural selection. Rubella or some bullshit. Typhoid. Yeah, you should have gone down with a typhoid. Yeah, I guess.

But your body's just dealing with it. It's just, you're accepting viruses all the time, and then your fucking throat just kicks them back into your mouth. You get a little bit of a sore throat, and then you fucking beat that shit like Rocky. Yeah, you smash that. Come on, bro. Yeah.

You're actually a low-key beast. I know. Just be positive. You literally only need to think positive. Have you ever seen Gwyneth Paltrow's doc? No, I haven't. Do some Wim Hof. Wim Hof.

Do Wim Hof. Take a cold shower one time. Yeah, do some Wim Hof. That's actually how you get stop being skinny fat. Cold showers. Did you see what The Rock does? Yeah, he showers three times a day. Three showers a day.

Colds, then warm, then hot. Do you think that he shits before he takes his cold shower? He shits a lot. He definitely shits a lot. I'm about to give you guys a fucking fact. Okay. I'm so ready. It takes 55 hours to pass a piece of food through your mouth to your anus for a man.

For a woman, it takes 72 hours food to butthole. That's not true. That's not true. I'm going to go and say that. That's not true. Eat corn one time, dude. It's true. It's true. Eat cornole. That's not true. That's not true. Eat corn one time, dude. It's true. Eat Chipotle for lunch.

It goes through you in like two seconds. When I eat at my grandma's, I shit within 20 minutes. Every single time. That might not be the food you just ate, though. It's forcing out the other food. When you get food poisoning, it's not the last thing you ate. It's it's not the last thing you ate. It's the thing before the last thing you ate.

It's just pushing it through. What about corn? 55 hours. Speak about corn, sir. Corn is not food. Every time I eat sunflower seeds, I shit them out, and there's just straight-up

sunflower seeds in my shit. How are you eating the seeds? You're not spitting them. You should be chewing those. I am. Wait, what? Yeah. You just swallowed the whole...

No, obviously I spit out the shell. But even the little thing, you swallow that whole, you don't... For the most part, yeah. You need to be chewing that, boy. You're just suckling it? You're just suckling it, boy? You need to be chewing that, boy. You need to be chewing that, boy.

You just suckle the seed? Yeah. All right. All right, I'll try it. That's a good fact that I don't believe, but it was a good fact. No, not at all. Good facts don't have

to be believable. It's in a book. This isn't junk science. I believe him. This is fucking book knowledge. This shit's fucking, this shit is a hard fact. Is this in a medical book

or like a book by Dave Barry or something? What kind of book are we talking about? A humorist? Oh, no, no. No jokes in this book. Humorist?

Just a list of facts. That's what people that write about write books that are funny. They're humorists. They're not comedians. Yeah. Brandon, how many words do you think you've written in your life? That's where we make up the wage gap, that extra 17 hours. Well, Brandon writes.

Don't you write a lot? You've got like a journal. No, but I was a writer for 20 years or 15 years. Copy, right? You wrote copy? Copy wrote. Well, no, I speech wrote for some people, but I was a writer for 20 years or 15 years. Copy, right? You wrote copy? Copy wrote. Well, no, I speech wrote for some people, but I was a sports writer. That was my career for a long, long, long, long time.

Well, you should audit the writers in the office. Who's a good writer? Who's a bad writer? Why do people write well? You should have blogger school and you should run it. Large is an elite writer. Large is elite? Yeah.

What's so great about him? He's very good, funny. It's hard to be funny in writing. KB is definitely the best writer at the office. I think he's the best. He's very good, funny. It's hard to be funny in writing. KB is definitely the best writer at The Office. He's very, very good. I think Large is close. I think KB is easily the best writer. Wow.

Okay. KB versus Large write-off. Dude. Wow. It's a write-off. I don't think that's a crazy take. I was thinking about it the other day. Easily, though.

I actually think that... Easily. Very easily. Someday when I take a step back from Barstool, not retirement, but let's say pseudo-retirement, I actually think I would like to go back to just blogging all day. Yeah. I miss that. All day?

Or just like- Not like- Just clock it. I don't know. I think you do that a week and then you'd be tired. No, man. I loved it. I loved it.

I really did. I mean, I was tired at the time, but I loved it because, I don't know, it's just fun. How many blogs are we talking? I would love to blog like six times a day. Wow. And then, obviously, this would be semi-retirement, so I'd take the summers off, probably a couple weeks in the winter. Why don't you just take a week off and blog? You're going to want to gamble in the fall.

Well, no, I'd blog during the fall because then I'd just be like, you know, then you feel like you earned the weekend. I don't know. I just was thinking about that, like going back in time and just blogging again. You should blog Grit Week. No. I'm not talking about right now, Owen. I'm talking about when all my other responsibilities. When do you think you're going to retire?

40. That's pretty crazy. Is that like very surreal for you that you're in your 30s and you're already thinking about retirement? Yeah. Congratulations, brother. I probably won't be able to because of what I just said, like the blogging and everything, but yeah, 40 would be cool.

That's awesome. 40 would be cool to transition to not doing the following lines. To movies? You're going to be in movies. Yeah, the movie guy. No, I'm going to review movies. Producing. What about Apatow? Why not be in Apatow and just be like, I put together funny people and just fucking put my name on it. Yeah, producing. What about Apatow? Why not be an Apatow and just be like, I put together funny people and just fucking put my name on it?

Yeah. Like, is Judd Apatow even funny? If you step away at the same time, you'd be what, 23? Yeah. I also think it'd be cool to be able to walk away, again, not all the way walk away, but walk away in some respect around 40, 42, 43 and be like, all right, now I don't have to become the super old guy. You could just do some other shit. Life is so fucking long. I've never worked for another company but

Barstool. Yeah, but just do some other shit. Depends on the offer. Little SaaS enterprises. I wish we saw a Deke Zucker for that one. SaaS LLC. That would be a good one. Retiring at 40? No, never working. I won't. I won't.

How old was Deke Zucker when he retired? 14. We got to put out the Deke signal. I think there's like 10 Dekes. I met a couple of them in Minnesota. Really? Yeah. They're all on strike, though. They were trying to unionize, and they couldn't get together some good terms.

Yeah. The poor Dekes, man. That's why they haven't been Deaking us. The Dekes and the Larrys. Poor one out. Poor Dekes. There's more Deeks than larrys 500 people deep

deke so steve tell us about this this fucking commute this morning brother oh shit what happened wait steve should i do the ad yeah hit the ad we're looking at summer love 2021 version that ad was not you know brandon we can't do the ad without you with that soft cock we're looking at the summer of love 2021 version and roman wants to make sure you can participate in your way whether that is uh be as a single person or a couple who would still rather stay in with each other taking care of your erectile dysfunction brandon without leaving your home you want me to pull my dick out? Is it flaccid? Well, yeah, it's always flaccid because you have a problem.

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and if you're prescribed get 50% off your first month of ED treatment make sure you're ready to have confidence and control this summer Roman ready

can I do an ad read? Yeah. Colorado launch today. Barcelona sportsbook. Virginia tomorrow. I'm waiting for the final live text. Can I do one? Son of a boy. Nope. Okay. What are we going to do next? Oh, Stephen.

Stephen. Also, Roman, they ship to Colorado. Discreet packaging. You just pop up on your boys. It would be hard the next day, and they will not have known that you got the package. Go ahead, Steve. Yep.

Yeah, so today I just had some train difficulties. I was stopped at a signal for 100 minutes. What? Kind of cool that it was 100 on the dot, though. I've never been this before. There's no path. There's nothing blocking us in front. It's just like a train signal. And I guess the light went out or something like that.

And we just... Actually, Zaza's an expert. It's just the same excuse every single time. I went to the front of the car, and I could literally see the thing, and it just wasn't. It was like a traffic light that the light went out. Yes, at Secaucus?

It was right before Newark Penn. Wait, I just turned around. So that would have been the shitty option, and they discussed that after like an hour plus. Wait, shittier than 100 minutes? It had already been an hour. Wait, you were on the train. I was on the train. Ah, I thought you were in a car. Okay, got it.

Oh, no, I was on the train. So what sucks is I had to go, and I had to transfer like a. Wait, you were on the train? I was on the train. Oh, I thought you were in a car. Okay, got it. Oh, no, I was on the train. So what sucks is I had to go and I had to transfer like, you know, a mile from where we were. Can you give us a New Jersey Transit rant maybe just to kind of set the tone? I was going to say they're incompetent, but they're actually pretty nice right after it happened. I felt bad for all the people. And then I was composing an email and I got off the doors closed, and I started doing TV 12 again. So I made a bunch of lunches for this week, and I forgot I'm on the train. No.

And the door closed. And I was like, oh, my God. I just did that this weekend. Now I have nothing to eat. So I banged on the door, and the guy let me in to go get it. Oh, you got it. I was going to say, if you had left it there, I imagine a homeless person seeing it and be like, no thanks.

I don't do veggies. Fuck this. I wouldn't even eat this shit. He thought it was a poverty meal. We have the TB12 book in our apartment for some reason. Oh, yeah. Dukes reads that. Can we try an NJT

incompetent in the JPP voice? The whole thing? Just NJT. I have another thing that came up organically. NJT incompetent. This came up organically. Hold on. No, do it.

I can't get it out of my head. Hold on. No, do it. I have a different voice for something else. Do you guys know the Gatorade flavor, Limon Pepino? It is lime cucumber. Right. We saw this on Twitter.

You did this already. I know. I did it very late at night. I did not see it. I have them coming, but it says it's going to take like a month. I didn't really. So what is the voice? Yeah.

So the flavor is Limon Pepino. And every time I say it, my wife hates this. And I'll just mutter around the house all the time. Limon pepino. And I'll say it 50 times a day. Lemon cucumber sounds... Limon pepino.

Limon pepino. That sounds terrible. No, it is really, really good. Sounds refreshing. No, it's not. I like cucumber and drinks. Counterpoint, I don't like cucumber. I don't like cucumber.

Counterpoint, I like your opinions better than mine. I'm with you. I love cucumbers. Give us the NJIT. Not NJIT, that's a college. NJT? NJT, incompetent. That's a college. N-J-T? N-J-T, incompetent. Incompetent.

N-J-T? N-J-T. Incompetent. It's not good. You can't really put a long syllable word like that. Yeah, you say incompetent. Yeah. Remember in Home Alone when it's like you're what the French call les incompetents, that

you have that word already. Yeah. Incompetent. N's like you're what the French call les incompetents? That you have that word already. Yeah. Incompetent. Injeti. Incompetent. See, that's better. That sounded French. We'll work on it.

I didn't like that one as much. It didn't sound nearly as racist. We'll get it there. We'll get it there. Le monopapino. It wasn't racist. Yeah, I wasn't even picturing a specific person

listening to that. Steven, also, Fantasy Football Factory. Yes. Fantasy Football Factory starting next week. We've got to pick up the drop day, Fantasy Football Factory. Yes, Fantasy Football Factory starting next week. We've got to pick up the drop day,

but we're excited about me and Mintz. Hell yes, you and Mintz. It's going to be a... What do you think about that working relationship? I mean, Mintz has always had a good working relationship.

So, I mean, he started and we did the live stream for Buck Saints, I think it was like week eight or week nine, and we got our doors knocked in. But he was a really good guy throughout it, and we've obviously texted and stuff like that we have a

friendly division rivalry so excited about that but he he hosted a fantasy football show for ESPN radio in Baton Rouge so he has a lot of experience in that I absolutely created the zero RB strategy so yeah I think it's a good match we're gonna have people from the office are you saying you created it here or no I created it in the world in. We're going to have people from the office. Are you saying you created it here? No, I created it in life. In life. I'm the first person to ever do it. The first person that ever did it. Ever.

How can you know that? Because it was created, I believe it was in the year 2013, and I have photographs of 2011, 2012 of me doing it. Of you doing it, but not calling it that. I mean, it's tomato, tomato. I mean, it's Tomato Tomato. I mean, I was the first one to do it. I don't think you can be sure of that. No, I give him credit.

It was a very out there thing when I did it. Yeah, people laughed at him. They said he was crazy. But of all the fantasy football leagues everywhere, no one else just didn't draft a running back in the first three rounds. I mean, people had seen the Mississippi River before DeSoto. What's up? People had seen the Mississippi River before DeSoto. What's up? People had seen the Mississippi River before DeSoto got there, even though we credit him

for being the first. Yeah, he found it. Amerigo Vespucci was the first person to set foot on this land. Actually, Leif Erikson. Really? Was it Leif? I don't know. Probably the Native Americans.

Native Americans, probably then. What did Magellan do? He found the West Indies, I think. He sailed around the world, no? I think he got killed at the West Indies. I don't think he made it the whole way around. There was an animator. The giant circle navigated.

Did he? Who did the whole world? Magellan. Magellan. But didn't he get murked in the West Indies? I have no idea how he did it. And now he's the comfort soul, guys? Are you Gellan?

Yes. Yeah. Gellan like Magellan. That's like a 15 year reference right there i think that if you got in souls sass you'd be able to run in those if you got the if you got the magellans you'd be able to go on long runs because didn't you try to go for a run in converse like it was the 1950s i want to run this i went on last week in these and my legs were in so no shit for the next five days.

Those are not running shins. Well, because I wasn't planning on it. I was going to the gym, but it was late, and then I was on my way to the train, and I was like, I'm just going to run. Are those comfortable? Yeah, not to run in. Honestly, I didn't get shin splints or anything while I was running. I felt completely fine.

And then after. Because you didn't stretch, bro. Yeah, you didn't stretch. I don't think that's what it was. You didn't stretch before and after. Oh, yeah. You got to do the knees over toes. I have running shoes, though.

Yeah? What are you going to do? Asics? New Balance? Saccone? Newbies? I got my feet molded in them. Balenciagas?

You get some Yeezys? They did. I was in this machine. You get some sliders? You're awesome. Yeah. But you wore condoms? When I was at the New Balance store, the guy looks at me and he goes, I swear to was in this machine. You had some sliders? It was awesome. Yeah. But you wore condoms. When I was at the New Balance store, the guy looks at me and he goes, I swear to God that

this happened. I'm at the store and I'm checking out and he's like, how did you hear about us? I was like, New Balance? Obviously from the Proud Boys. How did I hear about New Balance? From Jack Harlow. He's like, I don't know. He's like, we're from Boston.

You said you were from Massachusetts. And I'm like, dude, New Balance is like one of the biggest shoe brands in the world. It's like, I don't know. He's like, we're from Boston. You said you were from Massachusetts. And I'm like, dude, New Balance is one of the biggest shoe brands in the world. It's like fourth biggest. It's like Nike, Adidas, Reebok, New Balance. That's like literally being at the Nike store. They'll be like, how did you hear about us? We're just a little store out of Oregon. Just trying a new thing.

Oh, man. That is really weird. That's very weird. Kawhi Leonard is a New Balance athlete. That's true. One of the biggest basketball players in the man. That is really weird. That's very weird. Kawhi Leonard is a New Balance athlete. That's true. One of the biggest basketball players in the world.

Board man gets paid. Board man gets paid. He is about to get paid, too, right? He is about to get paid. Really good running shoes. It literally feels like you're bouncing off of the ground. Kawhi Leonard is a

basketball player. He plays for the... Well, no one right now. He doesn't play for anyone right now. Free agent. Doesn't sound like a basketball player. He's got a funky laugh. He's a free agent. He's a pickup. He's't play for anyone right now. Free agent. Doesn't sound like a basketball player. He's got a funky laugh. He's a free agent.

He's locking things down with the Clippers, though. Yeah, but he's a free agent. Oh, you posted him. Do you remember? Yeah, I know. Do you know? Yeah, the one of him laughing. Do you know?

What did it sound like? Ah, ah, ah. You kind of nailed that. You kind of nailed that. We're going to slowly teach you about sports this fall. Yeah. Whenever a sports player comes up, we're going to slowly teach you about sports this fall. Yeah. Whenever a sports player comes up, we're going to do a little footnote and be like, this is actually – That would be great for my brand.

Pete Rose is a sick football player, and he just – he had like 18 touchdowns one year, and he's a fucking beast. Just remember that, Pete Rose. Sass, it was announced you're on one of the new trivia teams. Oh, with who? You're going to be competing. Yeah, I think I was voted to get zero questions right. You're competing in trivia. How do you feel like that's going to go?

I mean, I don't really – like, like i'm not like what's the team me owen and uh rdt rdt you missed the trista fiasco roan what happened she she cheated in the good for you really yeah why'd they ban her she cheated who cares that's what i said there was a vote there was an anonymous vote that was sent around for everyone in the league and it was literally like do nothing ban her for life ban her for a year and i was like nothing who cares yeah well i could see if there was a cash prize right and also my whole point was always that we have to come in in person for the tournament so she's getting embarrassed yeah if you cheat online you'll just get embarrassed. Yeah. If you cheat online, you're going to get embarrassed in person. Yeah, I don't see the downside.

I think that, but trivia is a well-oiled machine. It is. I don't want to stick a... We're the good guys now. Can you give us a name? Me, Sass, and RDT. Oh, yeah. How about Team RDT?

Yep. Team RDT sounds real good. Yeah. You guys are kind of the underlings on Team RDT. Cal Ripken's juniors. Cal Ripken Jr. Jr. Yeah. No, no, it's Cal Ripken's juniors.

Oh, yeah, that's good. So Cal Ripken owns you guys as juniors. And you guys should shoot a promo at that little Cal Ripken Little League field that's like an hour north of Baltimore, like 45 minutes north of Baltimore. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Let's take a road trip to Baltimore. Yeah. Let's do a live show at the ESPN Zone in the Inner Harbor.

That's still good. You trying to win our friendship back? With facts. Yeah. I know how I'm going to ingratiate myself back with these guys. Facts. Fuck, I had some lays to bring in. I only have two Lay's

though. Two single chips? You see Robbie Fox eating those Wendy's chicken sandwich flavored Pringles? No, but are they here now? I don't know. He posted it on Twitter last night. There's a

McDonald's in Sedona, Arizona that is a different color scheme than every other McDonald's. What color is it? I bet people stay a long ass time. Desert colors? Here we go. Oh, wow. Dang it.

That's chill. That's actually pretty cool. That's mad chill. It's pleasing to my eyes. What about the, what's the one? There's one in my hometown that's a colloquial mansion. Yeah. What's it called? Colonial? a colloquial mansion. Yeah. What's it called?

Colonial? Colloquial doesn't really work. A conversational mansion. It sounded like a big word. It does. The McMansion. That's fucking dope. That's a massive landmark.

He just out-factored you, too. No, he didn't. He's already used that fact. I've used that fact. He has used that fact. A dozen times. Yeah, it's the only reason I know about it. Holy shit. Yeah, you've never seen

that? Look at the inside. Oh, no. That's not the one. That's awesome. That's awesome. That actually looks like a mansion. Look up the McMansion. That's the McCastle. Sass, you want to tell Large to his face?

Do you want to talk that shit to his face? I wasn't talking shit about Large. We're very sure about it, too. Was the Shorehouse still going this weekend? No, I wasn't talking shit about George. Was the Shore House still going this weekend? I don't think so. Balls is monogamous these days. Balls wearing a fucking Speaker City shirt. I love this guy. Old school.

Get it. Oh yeah, Speaker City. From old school. Tastes so good. Balls was four years old when that movie came out. That's the McMansion? Yeah. That's not really a mansion.

No, if you go inside. It's a colloquial mansion. It's not a real mansion. Yeah, Jesus Christ, Brandon. It's colloquial, yeah. That's awesome. Colonial was what I was looking for. Are there any McDonald plantations?

I knew you were going to fucking do it. I fucking knew one of you was going to do it. That's where he got married at. It definitely is. 100%. There's no McDonald. We don't have a lot of plantations. It's where you got married at. It definitely is. 100%. There's no McDonald's. We don't have a lot of plantations still sitting, still standing. You guys burned them.

What's everybody's McDonald's order? Mine's ridiculous, so. It's a double check. I used to get a lot of shit, but now they have the calories on everything. So I'm a lot more aware. I get a 10-piece nugget meal. Yeah, that's what I get. Large size with a filet of fish on the side.

See, mine's actually, I go ten-piece nuggets, large fry, two hamburgers, not cheeseburgers. So for some reason, the McDonald's cheese. You have, but that's the thing. No one's going to be mad about that because when you go to McDonald's, you have to get like a disgusting order. Yeah, but I'm usually a cheeseburger guy. McDonald's, I don't like the cheese. I'll get three McChickens.

You have to spend a lot on McDonald's for it to be more than the service fees when you're ordering it. So I get a ten-piece meal and then two cheeseburgers. I'll get four parfaits and an apple pie. Nice. Just crushed parfaits.

And put a soft-serve cone in a bag for me. Yeah, to put the parfaits in too. But I don't eat the cone. I just reload it every time with all four parfaits. The McDonald's Filet-O-Fish is a very divisive fast food. No, I don't think it's divisive. I've never had it.

I think it sucks. Yeah, you're the only person I've ever known that's had it. It's delicious. You do? I had it every Friday. Oh, you don't drink that. It's a wonderful fast food sandwich. The only thing you can do to be exciting

is eat a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish. Yeah, I have to hold something in my hands at parties so I bring Filet-O-Fishes. A beer-battered Filet-O-Fish. McDonald's chicken sandwich is really good. Is it? The new one, like the real, not like the McChicken. Everybody's got a new one. Everyone does have a new one. You know what's

not good is the Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich. What? It is ass. Well, there's tainted product. What is he talking about? No, there's like tainted product this month or something. Yeah. Roan, did you ever go coning? You seem like somebody who would have gone coning.

Joseph coning? Close. When you would order ice cream and then just palm it. Oh, yeah. You definitely did that. Oh, crap. I don't know. I don't like to make strangers feel less than.

Can you? Yeah. Oh, crap. I don't know. I don't like to make strangers feel less than. Can you? Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. That's almost exclusively what you like to do. He said he doesn't like to. He loves to. I do it out of a sense of duty. I don't like to, but I feel like I have to.

There's a water under your stand. Without a cap on it? No. Under your mic stand. No, to your right. It's like you ran it over. I need a water. it's wedged underneath oh that's why i was having problems thank you sass yeah um you've definitely done that you definitely did the thing where you grab the drink and you throw it back in yeah no you probably did you probably hit him twice you probably did the cone

first then went back around i've never done coning, but I've done that to friends where if you go to get ice cream or maybe go get ice coffee and you walk out and you just slap it out of their hands. We've done it with one another, I believe. Yeah, I think so. It's a very funny thing. I mean, you have to go buy them another one, but in that moment. And the person has to be able to handle it. Yeah. If they're a spaz.

Fuck. Yeah, it is funny. It's so funny. It's like, all right, we're walking out. Being a fast food worker and just seeing a drink coming back in at you. I'd quit. That has to be enough to just set someone over the edge. Oh, Zod.

Zod. Legend. Thank you. Legends. New Bounce, where'd you hear about those? Are those New Bounces? Why the water delivery? I'm good.

Because people said they're thirsty. Suddenly Zod. It's beautiful. Zod Why the water delivery? I'm good. Thank you. Because people said they're thirsty. Suddenly, Zod. It's beautiful. Zod's the water prince. Water for the boys. Because my other water's way down there. Conversely, if we're still talking chickens, if people can humor another chicken opinion, I think that the Wendy's spicy chicken has fallen off of a cliff over the last two decades.

I've never had the spicy chicken, but everybody talks about it like it's the best thing ever. It used to be my sick day food when I was a wee lad. Whoa. How often did you have sick days? That was your ginger ale? Yeah. Just spicy nuts. A couple times, but it was formative, though.

But it's not as spicy anymore. The chicken is processed. I'm thinking about kicking processed meats. Yeah? Are you? I'm thinking the habit. You're going to go caveman diet? Or just like fresh meats, like a fresh slab of breast.

Yeah. Some shit like that. Raw fish. Bronzini. Bronzini. You got steak I made the other day? You made a steak? On Twitter?

Yes, I saw that shit. I was cooked to perfection. Nah. I don't remember. What did steak Twitter say to yours? I didn't click on the comments. They loved it. They did?

There was a couple. They just gassed you up, though? There was a couple like, oh, you forgot to cook it. Steak Twitter doesn't love? I didn't click on the comments. They did? They just gassed you up, though? There was a couple like, oh, you forgot to cook it. Steak Twitter doesn't love anything. No, they don't. No, they loved this. Steven, critique his steak. Did you see it?

Because I know you're a fledgling member of Steak. Steve, can you pull it up? It's on my little Sam Squants account. Two things. One, you should have let it sit for longer. There are too many juices on that plate. Yeah, I did hear that. I didn't know that you were supposed to do that.

15 minutes before you cut into it. Also, the grain. You didn't really respect the grain of the steak. You kind of abused the grain. You've got you cut into it. Also, the grain. You didn't really respect the grain of the steak. You kind of abused the grain. You got to cut with the grain. Okay, because when I'm cooking a steak, I'm not doing it for show. But you are taking a good steak. Also, it happened to be very good.

You definitely put a filter on that. I got to be honest. No. That's not what a kitchen lighting looks like. It looks delicious. You don't have... No, I swear to God, I didn't put a filter on that. You don't have the 11 plus?

It's a good ass steak. But you're right, it's too much juice. Too much juice and the grains fucked up. Yeah, you gotta let it rest for at least as long as you've cooked it.

You gotta let it rest. But the thing is, I'm such a... Sicko mode. So I have to... Sometimes I have to cut into it to make sure it's cooked all the way. No, you do the...

You poke it with your fingers. Or use a thermometer. We don't have a thermometer. Finger poke works. You put your hand Jay, you know that trick? You want to know another trick? If you put your hand directly on the grill and you hold it there for five seconds the steak is done. Yeah. Try it.

If you get a third degree burn, if it turns white right away, then you should be good. If your palm does. Brandon's questioning everything right now because I can make a better steak than him. I just grilled steak yesterday and it was the best steak I've grilled in a very long time. I was very proud of it. Well, you didn't post pictures.

I'm mad at myself. I didn't take pictures of it. If you didn't post the meal on Twitter, then you didn't eat it, bro. I had steak and eggs for breakfast this morning. I made an extra steak just so I could have steak and eggs. Are you back on your diet? I don't know. That doesn't sound like it. Steak and eggs isn't that bad. Are you back on your diet? I don't know. That doesn't sound like it. You should give up.

Steak and eggs, you can have that. Steak and eggs isn't that bad. Do you see your trainer anymore? No. Yeah, that's how it goes. Does he still listen to the app? He texts me a lot. He's still thinking about me. Block his number.

Your legs look vascular. He's toxic. He is toxic. He gaslight you. I'm in shape in certain places. Who are you bringing to the gym with you, though? Your boys? I was bringing my boys, yeah.

Which ones? I was doing his friends. No, my boys. My boys boys. KB was there. No, the boys I made with my penis. Oh, I got you. I thought you were bringing your caffeine addiction. No. Body dysmorphia. You have to be literally mentally insane to make one

of those posts. People need different fits, bro. You can't judge people's fits. They clearly aren't. They think caffeine addiction is a crippling mental disease. Because you get points for having a fucking thing. Just stop drinking caffeine. No, you can't.

No one's laying in bed being like, I can't deal with this anymore. I have to have a cup of coffee every day. There's also just such little caffeine in most of their orders. I know. Just milk. You're actually a milk addict.

Yeah. Like they have nothing actually wrong with them, so they have to like come up with their own shit. They're like, I get nervous in public areas. That's why I'm in the gym. Some weekends I have fun, but some weekends I'm like chill. Yeah. Introverted extroverts. Also known as humans. KB, man, I miss KB too, man. Shout out extroverts. Yeah. Also known as humans.

KB, man. I miss KB, too, man. Shout out to KB. Shout out to Big Ups, KB. Big Ups, no swag. Are they going to be back in time for Thursday? We're not shouting out Nick. I shouted him out earlier when I was like the McDonald's thing.

We interviewed Gable Stevenson, and he's a wrestler. The wrestler won the Olympiclympic gold and he basically called kb's weight class bitches so that'll be fun on wednesday oh wow yeah so and kb gave me some great questions so really shout out kb yeah is the guy's name gable or cable gable gable named after like dan of green oh yeah it's like an end of green he won with like two seconds left or like 06 seconds left. A buzzer beater in wrestling. It was incredible.

It was electric. Incredible. They did backflips at 270 pounds. He squeezed him harder. Like, I know that we joke about that, but he got one last squeeze in. He got behind him and squeezed the shit out of him. I think the ref called last squeeze wins. It's like TBT.

You play to a certain score. Yeah. You need to get three more squeezes before he gets two. He's got to get three squeezes wins. Did you see the TBT team that's just called Bayheim's Army? Yeah, they won. They've been around since the jump, I think. Why?

Well, he killed a guy. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Was it an accidental manslaughter? Yeah, it was accidental. Also a hell of a basketball coach. Like killing a guy thing. Is he?

I feel like he kind of cheat when he uses his own every time. That's an interesting theory. I mean, it is, right? Yeah, and he hasn't changed it up in like how long. Zone is a coward's defense. Yeah. Man up. You're right.

Man up. He's basically playing with cheat codes. Right. Like a game genie every time he plays. He just gets really, like, he gets some keen works and plays zone. They're cheating. Princeton offense is cheating. Yep.

Backdoor cut. Virginia is cheating. Does Princeton still run the Princeton offense? I think so. You have to, I think. Mm-hmm. You can't not run the Princeton offense. Virginia trying to score so few points.

That's like Georgia Tech not running spread anymore. Option. I mean, option. Yeah. score so few points. That's like Georgia Tech not running spread anymore. Option. I mean, option, yeah. They're running spread. That's fucking bullshit. How was Nadu on the last show? I thought he was really good. Why don't you have Mon tomorrow?

I'm going to ask. Well, he just left already, but I'm going to ask him. You know, from up above it says every day that Rico's not in, see if Nadu will come in. So we'll see. Did he give out picks? He did. Anything that he likes?

Anything preseason? Nothing today. It was all preseason. It was all Western Kentucky. Western Kentucky. Western Kentucky on 550, right? And a couple of week one bets. Nice.

I can't remember what they are off the top of my head. But a couple of week ones. And then he gave a basketball future in Texas to win the national title. Damn. And you could place those in Colorado now. Yep. Virginia tomorrow. Wait.

I haven't gotten the text yet. Soon. Soon. It's a matter of seconds. Minutes. It's going to be fucking that. It's going to be explosive. Colorado's is weird.

Colorado. They're weird. There's almost a lot going on in Colorado. The altitude's almost as high as Wyoming. Yes. It's spooky out there. What was it?. The altitude's almost as high as Wyoming. Yes. What was it, actually? The hike that you're doing is 12. The airport is 3.

Oh, all right. Still pretty high. I lied about some of it. It's a low-ass airport. It was 37. Get an IV before you go. Yeah. Do an oxygen. Go to an oxygen bar.

Dude, do some cryotherapy. That's not a bad idea. Oh, yeah. Freeze your shit. Freeze yourself. I'm really pumped. Freeze your sperm. I'm pumped for you.

Yeah. I'm excited to get the live show on Thursday, and then I'm flying right out. Right out? Wow. Are you going to... Do you have hiking shoes or just those running shoes? Oh, yeah. I got boots.

L.L. Bean. I hope you don't get hurt. L.L. Bean, where'd you hear about that? That's a great callback joke, Brandon. I got boots. I hope you don't get hurt. L.L. Bean, where'd you hear about that? That's a great callback to it, Brandon. Thanks. I hope you don't twist your ankle or something. Yeah, I have a feeling. I'd be surprised if this is the hike that you end up doing.

My friend, my buddy who always gets, like, figures out what hike we're doing, always ends up finding us one that we're, like, in no way we can do. So he's the one who finds it. Do you ever think like if he ever has a mental breakdown, he'll just find a hike and then murder you guys on the trail? No. I think he's past his point of mental breakdowns. No, but he just goes off, right?

Hikers are psychos. Anyone that hikes like that has a little bit of psycho in them. We only do it when we're all together. Right, so he could kill all of you in one full swoop. He drowns us in our lake at the top. One full swoop. One full swoop. A full swoop.

Isn't it a fall? It's a fell swoop. I thought it was a fall swoop. One fell swoop. Oh, yeah, it's a fell swoop. One fell swoop. Full fell is the same exact thing. Have you guys ever heard Brandon say naked?

Naked. Naked. Yes, this is not a new thing. We finally got him to say it. He also likes to say the month after June in a very anti-Semitic way. And it's because he grew up in a different region than us. July. July.

Plantations. Naked. Naked in July. Naked in July. Hey, shout out Ole Miss for being 100. July's not that crazy. You couldn't play on the Ole Miss football team. You believe that shit? Yeah. You believe't play on the Ole Miss football team. You believe that shit?

Yeah. You believe that? Yeah. 100%? Yeah. Yeah, they've never lied coming out of Oxford. What was it? What'd they say?

You got 100% vax. Ole Miss. Jesus, there's no way that's true. Yeah, it's true. Why not? It's true. Why not? It's no chance they got 100% vax.

Think about this. Ole Miss football got fully vaccinated before the yak. That's fucking crazy. My buddy went to Ole Miss, and he has some great – they're fucking nuts down there. They don't play by the rules. Is it awesome down there? His fraternity –

You said you were going to burn the fucking hat. That's bullshit. We both have friends who went there, and both of them only lasted a year, right? Yeah. Because the tailgate was so good. His fraternity brothers, they all had full-on ARs in their dorms. Oh, the everybody's got. That's not all, man.

That's just south. That's just, yeah. There was a whole story where this lady sent this lady forward. Are you talking about RAs? You're talking about RAs that they had. It's not AR. I wanted to do a sketch last year where an RA is like, a whole story where this lady sent RAs? You're talking about RAs that they had. I wanted to do a sketch last year where an RA is a power. He's obsessed with

being an RA and he catches some kid with an extension cord and shoots him execution style. Isn't that like the Stanford experiment? Essentially. Kind of. It's a similar thing. Dude, I was about to give you guys another fact. I don't want to do it.

The show's about to be over. Give us a fact. Is it really? The way that they do executions in North Korea is with missiles? No, it's not. That was a question. You did the fact like I'm questioning. Your confidence dropped halfway through that fact.

That's how SASass gives his facts. Tiny missiles or big missiles? Little itty-bitty missiles. Defense missiles. So small they look like bullets. Like bombing in tiny planes? It used to be bullets, and now this new guy is just blowing people's heads. This new guy is literally blowing people up in a stadium.

Have you ever seen Kim Jong-un's brother or cousin with a tumor on his head? No. You haven't? Is it like a goiter? I don't want to see it. Dude, it is the size of a... It's like he has two heads. He died from it.

He needs to go on Dr. Pimple Popper. So why would we have seen him? Because the picture is... It's like something you've never... It's literally like a separate head. There's no light in North Korea and just a goiter. There's no electricity. He just bumped his head. It's just on the back of his head. There's no light in North Korea and just a goiter. There's no electricity. It's just on the back of his head.

And it is huge. It's like bigger than a tennis ball. Can you pull it up? Don't pull it up. A tennis ball is not that big for what you're describing. Dr. Pimple Popper pulled a two pound goiter off someone's head. You said it was the size of a head. If you see it, you will be shocked. At least a volleyball. It's nothing like Dr. it was the size of a head, and then you said bigger than a tennis ball.

At least a volleyball. It's nothing like Dr. Pimpleball. Wait, sorry, what was that? No, we don't want the goiter. Why not? Are we going to vote goiter or not? North Korean goiter. I can stomach that kind of shit.

It's not going to make you sick. Sick? What was that? Sick. You've got to get to the South. Whatever. You've got to get down to the South this fall. We'll save it for Son of a Boy Dad.

They love that shit. Hilarious. That freak shit. They love that shit. Fucking pimples. Pus. Our pus runneth over on Son of a Boy Dad. I actually checked this weekend.

You guys are doing numbies. Oh. Like we don't know. How many? Yeah. Give us the exact number. I actually kind of have an idea. I can't, but it's. Don't, don't know. How many? Give us the exact number. I have an idea. You can surmise. I have an idea.

Give us your idea. I'm just using weird words. I don't want to give out my data. Quantitative data. We're all trying to impress each other. Oppress each other. Sorry, I come from a long line of oppressors. Let's just say they're trying to impress each other Oppress each other We're trying to oppress each other Sorry I come from a long line of oppressors

Let's just say they're going to be passing us down the part of my take studio sooner than later You guys are going to have to relocate to studio one At HQ4 we're going to have our fucking sweet ass two story office HQ4 is going to be cool It will be. The fact that we did HQ2 with one podcast studio and like

75 podcasts was insane to look back at. Well now we do it with two. No I'm saying no we have Chicks in the Office KFC Radio part of my take and then two. And this radio room. And then two for like 300 podcasts.

But everyone records from home now. Yeah. Do you think that there is, I mean, there's a lot of room in the studios. You can get into a studio. Yeah. Or not. Or maybe we can't. You guys record in here, right?

Yeah. How come you only like the radio room? Because it looks way better. We're like super into aesthetic. That was sort of a vision i had yeah that's a director it does look way better your tattoos hanging out oh gross all right anything else it's good show today go all day good to have ron back dude it's so great to be with the boys go uh guys go to williamsburg 318, Full Circle Bar. We'll be there at 7 o'clock.

No, 8 o'clock Thursday night. Yeah. Ski Ball World Championship. At 9. Ski Ball at 9. I'm so excited for that. I'm so excited for that. So are we doing the Ski Ball live? Are we broadcasting the Ski Ball?

We can, I think. Are you guys going to commentate that a little bit? We can't. Not commentating, but we'll be involved in some aspects. All right. Cool, cool. Beautiful. The bar does not open until 4 p.m. today.

I mean, I guess you can go line up, but there's no guarantee you'd get in. If there's a line, I would be stunned. I don't want the people that would line up. I don't want them in. There's people tenting out right now. There are people flying in for this. No. For what?

That's awesome. If people are flying in, we should just reserve them a ticket. I did. If you show a flight, you should get a ticket. Yeah. The line is closed for that. There are a few people flying in. Okay.

Also, Donnie really wants to swim. Yeah, we got to do it. We got to figure that out soon. I'm going to be gone during the day on Thursday, but I should be back in time. For the show? What? No, not for the show. What?

For his swim. Oh, okay. I'm going to be back in time. For the show? What? Oh, no, no, not for the show. What? For his swim. Oh, okay. I'm going to be back by like four. That would be crazy. So I figured his swim, yeah, that would have been crazy if I just was like, oh, maybe I'll make the show. No, I'll be back. I'll be back by like four.

Billy, hold on one sec. Billy, one sec. One sec. Don't call me yet. Just one sec. That's our show. We'll see everyone tomorrow, all right? All right.

And the answer is.