The Yak - LunchGate Hits Chicago HQ | The Yak 1-23-24

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

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Are finishing an interview With The Bachelor They're deep in some anus right now Deep in the anus With The Bachelor With The Bachelor yeah So it's just the three of us boys

Yep Yep finally Finally This is what we talked This is what we've always dreamed about We've always wanted this Yeah This is what we've always dreamed about we've always wanted this yeah this is this is what we've always been hoping for squeeze everyone else out yep so they'll be down shortly i assume with the bachelor i would say so yeah probably um

we got a problem though guys we got a couple problems the first problem is as everyone knows who's watching we did we made the decision in December. Probably one of, if you had to like, I don't know, what are some very smart decisions that happened in politics and history? The New Deal. The New Deal. The New Deal is a good one. FDR's New Deal.

Louisiana Purchase. Louisiana Purchase. Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves. That's probably number one. That's probably number one. Yeah. abraham lincoln freeing the slaves that that's probably number one that's probably number one uh my decision to do no holiday party but lunch every day on january is up there with some of the greatest political decisions of all time top three the problem that i didn't foresee is that february 1st is coming fast yeah and i think we're gonna have a mutiny on our hands yeah

because today lunch is late and i'm already like kind of irritable. I'm furious. Where's my lunch? Where's my food? I Pavlov dogged everyone in this office. Yeah. A lot of loitering going on. There's like 30 people down there where the lunch is usually at and they have no idea what to do. 11.45 comes and I'm like,

ooh, I'm getting a treat. Let's see what's down there. Yeah. Smoke said I can't work until I eat. Well, he's just what's down there yeah Smoke said I can't work until I eat well his work we have to get this man lunch so he can get hard at work yeah so we gotta figure that out I'm gonna try to figure it out maybe we

I've been thinking I want to get in a pyramid scheme if we could figure out a pyramid scheme that's what you've been thinking you've been thinking that you want to get in a pyramid well this is actually a long time thought I've always thought that, and this shows that, I consider myself one of those people that I'm smart enough to know who the real smart people are, and I'm also smart enough to know who the real dumb people are.

So it's like I know where I fit in the intellect hierarchy. Yeah. Like I can spot a really smart person. I can't really tell you why they're smart, but I can be like, I know that guy's smart. And I can also do that fake smart people like Malcolm Gladwell. I can spot him and be like, I think he's kind of full of shit, but I don't really, I'm not smart enough to figure out why he's full of shit. Right?

So I think I'm in the perfect spot where like I could do a pyramid scheme and I could somehow beat it. Yeah, well, pyramid schemes aren't bad for everybody, right? Correct. It's just the... Right. If you're at the bottom. You're at the bottom, so don't be at the bottom. Right, if you're at the top, it's great.

Yeah. So it's like I have the ability to realize that a pyramid scheme is a scheme, but I'm also like, aren't I smart enough to win the scheme? But do you have an intellect capable of pulling off a scheme but i thought a pyramid scheme is just delegation i think you just recruit like multiple people to run the scheme for you then you have to make sure they recruit the multiple people do you know what i need to do i need to i need to become a man of god i saw this uh this clip i'm sending to you right now tj one of a very funny clip about a guy who just essentially is just admitting to a very big financial crime on his podcast. But, yeah, I need to become a man of God.

I need to become a man of God, and that way if the scheme goes wrong, I can be like, well, God. It's always a backdrop, yeah. Yeah, a lot of guys on TV who talk to god and god said give me all your money right if only me and katherine had the money back we sent that tv preacher yeah who's fucking the hockey player is god a get out of jail free card i think so i don't think it's get out of jail free maybe a public jail this guy's gonna try to get i don't think you get out of actual jail with it a lot of god guys in jail watch this guy and tell me to try to get out of jail. I don't think you can get out of actual jail with it. A lot of God guys in jail. Watch this guy and tell me he can't get out of jail with the God card.

Caitlin and I are being charged in a civil charge from the Colorado Securities and Exchange Commission for basically selling millions of dollars worth of cryptocurrency that is deemed worthless by the state. Now, the reason that they're seeing that it's worthless is because there is no exit for people who have bought. We launched an exchange, the exchange technology failed, things went downhill. And from that point forward, we've just been waiting on the Lord, literally for a miracle. So the charges are that Caitlin and I pocketed $1.3 million. And I just want to come out and say that those charges are true. So there's $1.3 million that's been taken out of, I think it was a total

$3.4 million. But out of that $1.3, half a million dollars went to the IRS, and a few hundred thousand dollars went to a home remodel that the Lord told us to do. See? So how this whole thing started was the Lord told us in 21 to walk away from our marketing company, and he said, I'm going to do a new thing.

And then he took us into this cryptocurrency. It was a different cryptocurrency other than index coin at the time. Well, that cryptocurrency turned out to be a scam. And so the Lord says, give that to them, but also give them a 10X. And I'm like, well, where's this liquidity going to come from? And the Lord says, trust me.

Well, as money is coming in, we would be sowing it. And at first it was hundreds of dollars and thousands of dollars, then tens of thousands of dollars. When it would come in, we'd tithe, we'd sow, more money would come in. And so we were just always under the impression that God was going to provide, that the source was never ending, that God was doing a new thing, and that we had nothing to worry about. We sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit. We did. We took God at his word and sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit. We did. We took God at his word. He's just admitting to all of it.

We sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit. And so the prosecutors have to take that and say, these people willingly sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit. What we're praying for and what we're believing for still is that God is going to do a miracle. God is going to work a miracle. He's going to get it out.

Yep. I just like this guy because he kind of, like, he's kind of genius in the fact that he admitted to what he did. But then he did the tax trick where he's like, yes, we stole $1.3 million. But did you think half of it goes to taxes? Right. So really not that much money. And the other half, God told us to get a new deck and back.

It was a little. Yeah, that was Paul's. I think the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians to pull out cryptocurrency money to remodel your house. Yeah, God said we need a surround sound. Fate windows are key to happiness. Right. These are things God has told us. It was also a little bit of Costanza in there where he was kind of like i didn't know i

couldn't do that right right like what why didn't anyone tell me that if god tells you to do something you still have to check to see if it's legal i don't know beautiful beautiful view though so my point is i need to figure out a scam that will get us lunch every single day that's where it's that's where it goes full circle okay and i don't know what that scam is but i feel and i feel like i have a good pulse on this office and everyone here um because i consider everyone you know friend and a co-worker and i do feel like this is my first chance to have a true mutiny on february 1st when there's just no lunch at 11 45 i have a solution oh dear whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what was that hold on that was just you just were never gonna what that was just never gonna be addressed you were just

gonna why i did i found this like uh a minute after we went. Yeah, but we've been doing the act for – What is it you found? We've been on the act for ten minutes now. What is? What's up, dude? Come sit down. What's up, Zach? Zach is back.

See ya. All right, so just to catch you guys up. Zach, good to see you, man. You're looking a little dressed down, but you do it well. You're just like – Well, I told him to be prepped for gauntlet if need be. Yeah. Oh, definitely. He's definitely doing the gauntlet he's a favorite on the on the xl really yeah yeah um gamble you're a gambling favorite you guys came in at a perfect time yeah um yeah go ahead yeah well i just want to say as a side note zach you um good on you for like flexing that you look good

in any outfit because i always see like someone wearing like a cool sweatshirt. I'm like, I got to buy that. And then I put it on my body. I'm like, yeah, it's are still here. Either way, we were just talking about we need a scheme to keep lunch going forward. We just watch this dude. I don't know if you guys saw him. There was a clip, a guy, a pastor in Colorado who did a crypto scheme and he's under charges, civil charges, and he just

did a podcast and he just admitted to it. He was like, yes, we did steal $1.3 million, but God told us we needed to remodel our house. And did that work? It worked on me. Where is he based? Colorado or something. Yeah, Colorado. I don't know.

And he lives on a lake. Yeah. Beautiful house. He was like $1.3 million. Yes, we stole that, but you got to remember, half it went to taxes, and the other half we had God told us to remodel our house. But Brandon also made the point, it is a beautiful home. So I think that the money is well spent.

I wouldn't want to live on a lake. Either way. I'd rather live on the ocean. We were talking about this for 10 minutes, and then Steven chimed in and said, I have a solution, yet Steven just forgot to tell us this wait what is this is a lion just cut to him and he's a lion it goes i have a solution cut to him lion can you yeah before um you guys are all caught up now all right before uh the game on sunday cory was like hey you want to make a bet and you know

i was like sure whatever you want to do uh and he said yeah if you if you lose just dress up like a lion i said all right you have lion garb he said i do so uh here i am what was the other side of the bet dressed like a buck i'm sure uh yeah i mean i i was not really driving the bus here um i was just like yeah sure if you want to i I'll give you a Bucs jersey to wear. So he just had that Lion costume ready to give you. Also, Corey's not in, like, everyday content, so that was the greatest bet ever for him. Yeah, Corey could wear this in. He could just not come in today.

Yeah, or he could wear it in and not be on camera. Never be on camera. No one would even know that he. Bad bet. You look cool, though, Steve. Thank you. thank you okay so steve do you have a solution yeah cool is not the right word uh solution um you know we're uh in the chicago area and you know we do a show right at lunchtime why don't we just have local restaurants cater the office and then we give them some uh shout outs on the show i don't like that have local restaurants cater the office, and then we give them some shout-outs on the show?

I don't like that. Featured meal of the day. As an ad person, though, that's not a good strategy because then people can just essentially not advertise with us and get in through the back door. But also on the other side of it, when I was a graphic designer, people were always trying to get logos or websites out of you for exposure. Exposure doesn't put bread on the table Baby Graphic designers I feel like are the number one profession Where people just try to take advantage People reach out to me once a week

Asking me to make stuff for them still I was like I haven't done that in It's been one year today Your big break was Bruce Irvin Yeah I did his logo Did you get your bread? Your big break was Bruce Irvin? Yeah, I did his logo. What?

Did you get your bread? Got my bread. Wait, what is the logo? It was an old one. Pretty sick, yeah. It was for a camp that he did, and then he used it as his own logo, but it was like, yeah. Can we see it? I don't know if it's online anywhere. It's not very good.

I did it in college. Of course they get sick. It's not very good, but he wanted the flying WV in it, so I had to flip it upside down and figure that out. That's pretty sick. So Steven's solution is just get free food. Take advantage of mom and pop businesses. Keep doing what you're doing, except this time don't pay the people for it. Have places take time out of their busy lunch hour.

A large viewership on this. Listen, Steven, I guess I see it, but also you've got to think of the longevity of this. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. So, like, let's flash forward, like, maybe a decade. Do we...

We've just done every restaurant in Chicago? Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, certainly there's... But, I mean, it gets us in way past February. We're into the summer. I want to see the full line. I mean, certainly there's, but I mean, it gets us in way past February. We're into the summer. I want to see the full lion suit. I just love that these ideas are coming from a lion. I want to see the full lion suit. Yeah.

I want the lion suit to walk by. Yeah. Do you have a tail? Come out here and do a twirl for us. Is it kind of like- Oh, it'd be a shame if the lion stepped in a mousetrap. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, shit. Oh, he's got to put his hands- Rawr. Yeah. Oh, I heard about those mousetraps. Do you guys have them around? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, he's got to put his hands. Rawr. Yeah. Oh, I heard about those mousetraps. Do you guys have them around? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It might happen. Might happen. I got a question for you, Zach. Stay tuned. Yeah. Your hat, Aloe, what is that? I see it everywhere. It was a gift.

Is it just... Oh. It's like yoga and Pilates. But it's just a... Oh. Oh. Okay. Are you shaking hands?

Is Aloe just a place for beautiful people yeah yeah yeah they won't yeah no pizzazz basic if i if i wear that hat i'll explode like every time i don't want to wear it the employees will drop through the ceiling i'll die i'll get to kill you yeah it's like when caller daddy said that tommy smokes and glenny couldn't wear their merch right which really did happen is that that real? Hell yeah. In an official email. Yeah, they were like, don't let him wear it. We had an apparel sponsor that also didn't want Tommy to wear their merch.

That's right. Yeah. Actually? Yeah. Yeah. How does he feel about that? He has to know by now that it's, you know. Yeah, he's aware of that.

It's him. He's the common denominator. So have you gone to Aloe? Is it a place? I don't think I've ever actually stepped into an Aloe. No. You could definitely just walk in and it was like, yep, you're supposed to be here. We should have Brandon's spy cam in an Aloe.

Would they let you in? Would they just shut out the lights? You could get in. No way. An Aloe. No. Every time I've seen a picture of Aloe, it's just hot people. Yep.

Doing like a cold tub and then stretching. Cold tub. And then like, yep yep we did our workout yeah that's actually how it goes i want to be an aloe i will yeah won't ever be welcoming their doors uh zach was on anus but we're doing a double feature two days in a row zach thursday blutman friday a real nice double feature uh back to back-back, similar guys. Two heartthrobs. Yeah, yeah. Both one degree of separation from Topanga.

What's your degree of separation? Anaheim Hills. We're from the same town. Same community. Same community. Blutman is like your brother, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he killed it at the gauntlet. Yeah. For himself. It was chill. He did it his way. Oh, yeah. You got to do yeah, yeah. Yeah, he killed it at the gauntlet. Yeah. He did it his way. Oh, yeah. You got to do it. Yeah. He was going for the judges' score more so than the time. Wait, so, Zach, did you come into town just for anus?

Well, I go to New York tomorrow. Yeah, don't admit that. But, yeah, don't. For anus, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I'm going to New York tomorrow. And I was like, I'll just leave a day early, stop in Chicago. Okay. I think he's cooking with Donnie, too.

Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making some biscuits and gravy. Are you going to the New York tomorrow and I was like, I'll just leave a day early and stop in Chicago. I think he's cooking with Donnie too. Oh, nice. Making some biscuits and gravy. Are you going to the New York office tomorrow? No, no. That's for actual work. Okay, got it. You do it, yeah. I forgot you were a real person. I got my job. Kept it.

Was there a point when you did The Bachelor where you're like, I'll never have to work again. I'll just be hot for the rest of my life? No, I never wanted that. It's unattainable. I feel like some bachelors do that. They think that. They just become the hot guy for the rest of their life. Like 95% of people think that they can.

Just like you have a smidgen of screen time, you're good. You're set for life. Not the case. Definitely not the case. How long do you think you can be hot? Oh, good question, Brandon. How old are you? I'm 27. Yeah, what's the shelf life on being hot?

Do you think 42-year-olds, you, is hot? No, I give it to like 31. What is it about? No, I'm aging. What is it about? Yeah, that's pretty good. What is it about hot people that like. Are you asking me or Zach?

Zach. He's 27, but he feels like he has his shit together so much more than I do that I like want to call him sir. What is that? Mr. Shawcross. Right. Like we're all slobs. You're older than me in my head. Right. 27. I'm 12 years older than you. That's crazy. That's crazy. Right. Like, we're all slobs. You're older than me in my head. Right.

27. I'm 12 years older than you. That's crazy. That's crazy. Right. Like, you're my boss. Am I? I'll be your boss.

It feels that way. I don't know. There's something about it. It is. It's odd. I don't think that's a hot guy, Trey. I think he's just mature. Well, I think, no, but it's confidence.

It's put together. And that comes with hot. And it's put together. Yeah. Oh, he can be blush. No, no. He can, like that comes with hot. And it's put together. Yeah. Oh, he can be blush. No, no. He can, like, operate certain tasks. But I think a lot of dudes in this situation would try to do, like, TikTok shit every day.

That's the worst. Like, cook and sing. How gay are we being right now? It doesn't matter. I can't help myself. But, like, Zach and Mook's outfit, would it work? Would we take Zach seriously? Why don't you guys go jersey swap?

I look okay. Why not go outfit swap? That's one of your best. They're not that far off. Go in the bathroom and outfit swap. Right, the outfits aren't that far off. Yeah, can you guys go outfit swap? I can't pull that off.

You pull this off? No, I couldn't do that. Go swap. Go swap. Go swap. Go swap. Swap everything. I want to swap shoes.

Go swap. Take your time. If you have. I want to swap shoes. Go swap. Take your time. If you have aloe stock, sell it. Yeah, we're just trying to figure out the common denominator. Did Dave just buy a bunch of aloe stock? What if, like, mook looks good? That is an insane hypothetical. I've never thought that.

I think Zach might look bad In Mook's clothes I hope they switch underwear Should What? Should everybody outfit swap? No because we all I think we're all kind of dressed the same Okay alright

We all look the same Let's do it No Oh shit We should've We should've realized Zach was coming in today We should've done our dress up day today

I think Brandon did realize He's double row backed Oh come on Oh nice Double backed up yeah He's back doubly up The other thing we gotta figure out Brandon and I and Tyus were talking about

We should probably spin a wheel to see Who's gonna host on Fridays If we ever do a Friday show Oh god So Yeah that's a good idea. I'm certainly not going to do it. I'm not working on Friday.

I will not be here. Nose game? Fuck. Wait, what? You got to come in on Friday, bitch. Maybe you got to start hosting Fridays. Fridays? You guys taking off?

Oh, yeah. There was just New York. I'm excited for Nate Friday. I texted. I'm so excited. I'm so excited, too. Okay, so let the dog be the dog. If Nate got Friday, he presumably got what he wanted, I thought.

Why are they fighting today? I saw a clip. It feels like, oh, my God. Damn, that was fast. Wait a minute. Wait, you got to switch pants. Go back, go back, go back. You need new pants?

How do you not do pants? Go pants. Pants are the most important part. M go back. You didn't do pants? How do you not do pants? Go pants. Pants are the most important part. Mook's got the sloppiest pants ever. Wait a minute. They clothes swapped and didn't swap pants? You've got to do pants. All right.

Oh, I love this. That was true. Instant life. That is true. Nate looks like a white Kanye. Can't unsee it. From what I understand,ate has been bothering kelly then kelly was mad at nate i don't really fully understand the inner workings i'm just happy nate

has a friday show yeah me too and i'll be glued yeah for sure damn eight at night one of the greatest one-hit wonders is like barcel van tock night at night that really only happened one one day one time i'm pretty sure okay it predates me i went to a night at night this is when he brought in like a musical artist the oar guy yeah i went to one where he asked dashboard confessional and it was love what he brought in dashboard confession i would have freaked out your hair is everywhere. Screaming infidelities. Oh, man.

Imagine us front row there. Yes. Brandon, you love dashboard. Oh, no. Wait a minute. Yeah, wait. This kind of works. It works.

Zach, you're not as hot. No. No. What? Zach's still as hot. No. No. What? Wait, you swiped. Zach's still pretty hot. I think it made Zach worse looking, but Mook is the same bad looking. No, no, no. He looks more successful. I disagree.

I think they both look better. Zip it up more. Mook, you look more successful. You look like a Hollywood director. Wait, Mook, you look good. Yeah, that's a good look for Mook and Zach. Yeah. Zach, not as much.

Yeah. I told her as much. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sit. We'll just let it marinate for a little bit. The shoes look good, Mook. I know. I like these shoes a lot. What size shoe are you, Mook?

I'm a 10. He's a 12. I'm swimming right now. I'm going White Sox, Dave. But, yeah. All right. See how warm this is when he gave it to me? It's so warm.

Yeah. It runs hot. Do you feel, like, less hot? No, I feel great. Thanks, Luke. No, I got you, dude. I got you. Okay.

You can wear my skin anytime, brother. I bet you guys could swap places now and nobody would notice. No one. It was confirmed one Nate at night. One Nate at night? And it was electric. It's BVT and Nate at night It's the best one episode shows of all time

Yeah I'm trying to think Yeah because it's rare that a show gets only one And he had Chris Carraba on Is that his name? No I thought he had I think he had I thought he had

Jeremy Reamsdyke Jesus Christ Hockey player Chris Carraba on? Is that his name? No, I thought he had Jeremy Van Riemsdyk. Jesus Christ. Hockey player. I thought Nate at Night was a concert series. No. I thought it was just a show. I'm thinking it was a concert series. You'd have musicians on to perform in the audience.

That would check out, yeah. And that's how Dave... I feel so weird right now. Why, man? And that's how Dave... I feel so weird right now. You look great, man. You look good. And that's how Dave Walks to Work started. And then Dave Walks to Work ended because someone got Dave from, like, they videotaped Dave walking to work, and he looked like he had the biggest bald spot.

And then Dave canceled that show. Because of the bald spot. Yeah, pretty much. I'd cancel a show over that. Is that when he got the hair plugs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So Nate at Night actually is directly correlated with Dave getting hotter. Wow. It's the domino thing. It's crazy how that works. One episode of Nate at Night, Dave gets hot. This show made Mook hotter in one episode. And Zach less hot. Damn.

Wait, so is Nate going to do it solo? Is that the Friday deal? I don't know. I think he's going to have a regular. It's just going to be a normal show. Yeah. I think he's going to have a regular. What's the risk?

Right. Sounds like a good time. Yeah. I'm happy. All right. Yeah. I'm happy for him. I'm happy too.

Should we talk about Titus being the dozen i'd love to big shake up big shake up yep and you broke it to him it was you weren't gentle well he was gentle no i was because i let mincy see that this was the obvious move he basically made me and he did and Mincey definitely did connect those dots without question. Yeah, I brought up Tyler Bass, kicker for the Bills, and I said, no matter how good you've been, if you fuck up in a big moment, what should the Bills do? And he was like, they should cut him. This is coming on the heels of Mincey last night.

Oh, my God. Handing a W to the booze ponies. So then I was like, well, that's what we're going to do with you really bad flub big big flood i watched the whole match and he attempted to answer for the other team right multiple times he did that right off the bat another time then yeah yeah um so we got kirk yeah we got kirk i just i traded ben menz for kirk minahan um can you play the clip of Mintzy fuck up? Because it was a very great clip. Got to be the clear-cut expert number one.

Yeah, I think we're pretty obviously the favorites to win the Delta Jets. Sports, movies, everything else. I certainly don't think that's the case. How do you feel? How could you have to be? That's the case. I mean, listen, Kirk brings a wealth of knowledge. College, pro, and pop culture.

They still don't have college football. Mintzy was college football. How do they not have college football? None of y'all have college football. What do you mean we're not college football? I am college football. Who knows who the favorite is? Do you think you'll make it out of the first round of the Vegas?

All I'm saying is that Kirk is a tremendous movie guy and pop culture. You already had that with Ken Jack. There's a little overlap there. I'm not sure it made you as strong as you think it made you. What's your record in live events? Sounds like you're scared. We've won two of them. No, because one of them

was still a room. Brandon, let's try it this way. Give me a question that we won't be able to answer. Ooh. Exactly. Wow. That's exactly fucked up. Exactly. Got him. We'll be able to answer everything. Robert Patrick's character who debuts in season two and ends up owing Tony a large gambling debt.

Eric Scatino. Eric Scatino. Eric Scatino, final answer. Final answer. No, no, no, Davey Scatino. Davey Scatino. You can't do that. I mean.

Let's go. Davey, right? You said Davey? Davey. I think he said Davey. Yes. Davey Scatino. Yes.

Come on, Mincy. Davey Scatino? Yes. Come on, Mincy. Davey Scatino. Give it to me, Mincy. Give it to me. Oh, boy! I mean, that's as bad as it gets. That's as bad as it gets. In the tournament against us, he answered our question.

University of North? Yep. And it was an ACC team. And he said University of North before he got cut off. We filled in the blank. So I don't feel too bad about it. No. But it is a crazy shakeup because I feel like Brandon now,

like you guys are going to be in a rivalry because Kirk is a better trivia player than Brandon. Right. Right. I'm not sure that's true. But, like, also Hank Rico and Mincy are a powerhouse. I think so. Yeah.

The rumor is they're not done with the moves. I think there's a lot of people trying to move behind the scenes right now. Yeah. Like who? All I said is there's a lot of people trying to move behind the scenes right now. Is it because you're watching every show? No, I hear things. He said rumors were the same thing.

That's what you just said. No, I heard some moves. Hmm. Betrayed Stephen She That's what you just said. No, I heard some moves. Hmm. Hmm. I'd trade Stephen Shea. Would you? No. Never.

Yep. Our team's made it. I'd rather never win. Keep the Frankettes out of trade rumors as well. Ride with my guys and be frustrated with Stephen Shea. That's the way I want to do it. I was talking to PFT about them making a move. Ooh.

Yeah. Oh. That's your team. Interesting. Brandon for Blutman. Oh. Yep. Interesting. Brandon for Blutman. Ooh. Yep. Brandon for Blutman.

So Blutman goes to experts, and Brandon goes to free agency. With me. With TJ. Oh. What about that, Brandon, TJ, and Bryce? Brandon, you might need a change of scenery. That might be what you're. I don't need a change of scenery.

We're good. That trophy case is looking pretty good. We played for the last two championships. You guys kind of are the Buffalo Bills. Yeah. Change something up. Buffalo Bills won four straight AFC championships. Right.

When the AFC was tougher than any conference in the history of the game. What are you trying to win? If you were an NFL team, your coach would be fired. Yeah. Yes. That's true. I don't think our coach would be fired. Yes.

What is your career playoff results? Okay. As always, a perennial favorite. The first year, we got to the Final Four and lost to Coley. Coley got on a ridiculous hot streak. The second year, we got to the – Coley was solo? Pretty much.

Yes, he was. Well, he had Robbie. And then we had the second year, we lost to Uptown Balls. And then last year, we lost to Minahan. What round? In the finals. The second round. Are you familiar with the finals, Zach?

So you went. Final four, finals, finals. But as a championship team. I love trivia. I think as a predicted championship team, you've never won. I mean, anybody can win. Anybody. Except you guys.

There's some elite. Except you guys. You're right, though, KB. I think if they were an NFL team, they would fire their coach and also try to get a younger roster yeah zach just whispered to me if we're still doing magic this january i don't and jake january yes because it's still january right uh next wednesday yeah you're excited for magic shit our guys coming back he was the first guy, right? He's coming back next Wednesday for finale of JIC January.

He's been prepping for a case race as well. Well, he's kept telling me. He's my partner. Yeah, how many beers did you say you have? I said I could do four if you could do 13. I said deal. When have we ever done a 17? I didn't do the math right.

I never said we'd win. I couldn't correct him. in we're gonna come in third i do four and you do 13 we'll probably be third yeah i was being honest yeah you could be in a case race yeah we need like i want to do a huge one we have like eight people that want to be i know man gold has man gold just have a weekly one at this point jesus christ yeah then the last guy uh sam sam said he wants to do it sam talent wants to do one shane coming back he's just got to be enshrined in the hall of fame and not brought back right who's shane yeah he's tag's first ballot hall of famer case race it's been a while this is the

longest we've ever gone without one i know so we got to do one i'll do one next week and little sass has to be in it yeah he does i could talk to ronan sass i could do it next week i would fly back out for it i think feidelberg's in town next week oh yeah uh-huh should we do like a 20 man let's go royal rumble a royal. A Royal Rumble case race. Whoa. Oh, my God. Whoa. How would it work? I don't know. Two people start in the studio. Two people start and more people file in.

Every two minutes, somebody joins. Oh, my God. So every two minutes, you get somebody on your team. How do you win this? It should be 100 beers to 10 people. Yeah. 10 people, 100 beers, and it's random names. So if you're –

The wheel picks. The wheel picks who comes out. Yeah, the wheel picks who comes out. Yes. And everybody gets entrance music. The first ever Royal Rumble K Street. 100 beers. That's awesome.

How many mics could we get in here, though, TJ? We have to put, like, stadium seating. We could do, like, the stick mics. So we could do 20? Oh, yeah, like the gambling cave? Yeah. I want this room full of dudes. A perfect divide. Yeah, we could do 20? Oh, yeah, like the gambling cave? Yeah. I want this room full of dudes. A perfect divide.

Yeah, we could do 20 guys. Yeah, you, no, maybe it ends 10 v. 10. 10 v. 10, yeah. Can we build the roster? This is so sick. This is great. Let's do this. 10 over here, 10 over there.

Let's do this. Yeah, and every 10 minutes, you have to bring, someone comes in. 100 beers each team. 100 beers. 100 beers each team. Holy fuck. Yeah. This is fucking 100 beers each team. Holy fuck. Yeah. This is fucking awesome.

This is so fucking awesome. It probably would end up being one of the worst watches ever. It would turn into a real brawl. It's definitely going to be the worst podcast ever. 20 drunk people sitting in a room together just yelling at each other. But goddamn, would we have fun. It would be a party. The best ratio party of all time.

So we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 guys. 8 guys. Plus Zaz, 9. So we need 11 more. Che. Wait, did you count Che? Yeah. Okay.

We have 8, 9 guys. 9 guys. We need 11 guys. Feidelberg's in town. Yep. Sass is sober. Oh, yeah. Sass is sober oh yeah Sass is sober so if we get

Ronin Town that's 12 Ronin Town 12 Mangold Mangold Mangold oh my god his entry

oh Talent I would hope he'd be at the end Shane Lampanelli of course we'd have to check

Lisa Lampanelli gotta get her in yeah I would Dana Beers Dana Hank yep wow are we doing this yeah we have to do this Yeah, I would. Dana Beers. Dana. Hank. Yep.

Wow. Are we doing this? Yeah, we have to do this. This is incredible. This is awesome. Record Thursday night. The first ever Royal Rumble case race. Holy shit. I'm sure Will and Taylor would go.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can we all dress like wrestlers? Yes. Have to. Yes. Have to. I'm going to be Purple Nick, my favorite wrestler.

Oh, my God. And then, yeah, what to be Purple Nick, my favorite wrestler. Oh, my God. And then, yeah, what we'd just do, we'd spin the wheel and it'd be random. Uh-huh. And you're outside of the room until. Or do we. I think there needs to be a start with a base, two base teams of maybe three, and then you add one. No, I think you start from zero.

One V one. One V one. Yeah yeah one v one as soon as you finish one what is how would we add people it'd be minutes minutes okay yeah perfect and you don't know what team you're going to be on until your name's up yeah we all dress like wrestler at least every 10 minutes though it's five? Every five. If you start with two, you've got to add people 18 times. The question is, for entertainment purposes, to try to get it so it's somewhat even teams, do we have TJ preset the teams?

So we don't know. No, I think we go uneven. In the Royal Rumble, they pre like, pre-draw the numbers. So, like, TJ comes up with the teams. None of us know. You guys get your numbers beforehand. They script that. We're not going to script this.

No. Right, I'm saying just the teams. But then you could spin the wheel for the team. Like, who's coming in with the team. Oh, I see, I see, I see. So Team A gets this one, and then the Sharks get one. Yeah. Yeah.

I love this idea. this is so good yeah but well why don't we just split uh like the even drinkers so like i'm good for that's what i'm saying book is probably good for eight to nine and so we would be split up and correct so it's so it's so it will be competitive in the end because like if you did it completely random and it's like one team has like shane and mangold on it yeah. Then the case race is just going to end. You know what I'm saying? Yep. Yeah.

So we'd have to split them up evenly. If TJ did a good job of splitting them up evenly, but we don't know. Yeah. So the surprise is still there. And so can we have everybody in the bullpen of the gambling cave so we can check in on those people? Yeah. Sitting in their wrestling context. I'm envisioning a scenario where we have a special, and he is the last person to come in, and he's just sitting outside. But after we're done drinking, that show goes on for hours.

Might be our 12-hour stream. Yeah. This is going to be great. The guy that's not on the mic will be out on the court playing air chicken. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it'll be fun. You can still drink in there, but it doesn't count towards the heart. No, it does not count.

Yeah, you can warm up. You can warm up. Yeah. Warm up in the bullpen. Yeah, exactly. This is the best idea. Yeah. It's also the worst, but it's the best.

I think it's for a video seg, which is what we aim to do anyways. It's going to be chaos. Best case scenario. Yeah. It's going to be maximum chaos. You're down to fly back? We just got to figure out how to get everyone here at the right time but i think we'll have a surplus of people who

want to do it surplus of big names yep want to do it true we got the what are you doing but i don't i don't want i want the people that have been with us yeah it's got to be like mangled we can't leave him out right angles in for sure I think we don't reveal everyone. Oh, you're right. Surprise entrance. Yeah, you're right. What if we got somebody super famous? You're absolutely right.

Let's get Dave in. Dave's doing a case race. Yeah, you're right, TJ. Having a little bit of a lure like who could be the next person. This is awesome. When are we going to do this? Next week. I don't know if we'll be able to pull it off next week.

I'm down to do it next week. That's just a quick. We could also do, because this also could be a thing where we build it up. So it's like we could do one next week that's like 50 beers, and people see it, and they're like, that was awesome. I want to be in on the next one. It's like Royal Rumble had to start at one anyway. Yeah. Was the first Royal Rumble as cool as the ones that are now?

No, no, no. Right. Took a couple years. So we could just do it just us, a Royal Rumble case race just us. Just us. Let's do it right. Yeah. Let's get –

I think we wait until. No, no, no. Let's see. Let's put the bat signal out there and see who could make it next week. Okay. Yeah. And this would be a great like pre-Super Bowl kind of video. It would be dependent on who we can get if we can't.

But can we tape it on a Thursday and have it out on a Friday? It's a lot of editing. Mm-hmm. I'm just thinking. Sass isn't there out on a Friday? That's a lot of editing. Sass isn't there to... True. True. Good point. Oh, man. This is going to rock.

We're still talking about it. Oh, you guys switched back? Yeah. Okay, nice. You look more comfortable. Which one of you was most uncomfortable? Yeah, he was. He was wearing the tightest pants ever and shoes that didn't fit.

Ride my crotch. I felt like a different person was trying to get inside of me. Whoa. Oh. Okay. Congratulations. You know what I mean? Exactly.

Okay. Oh, my God. Some of the surprise reveals of walking out. We got Obama. Yeah. He's so sick. We got Larry Sinclair as well. Oh my God.

And then they started sucking each other. I don't want to hear this. Yeah. Oh yeah. Kyle Long, would he match up with Mangold? Yeah. You'd think so. Brandon, do we call in the OJ favor?

Yeah. Ooh, OJ would be crazy. OJ would be crazy. You want to hold that one back? No, if we can call in oj we call it oj you have an oj connect oh yeah what yeah that's rare yeah all right so are we actually going to try to do this next week should i try to put out like thursday i think a lot of these guys it might be tough to get them in a week so fidelberg's already out here. Right. And then there's got to be some Chicago-based guys.

Barstool, Barstool. Barstool, Barstool. Will and Taylor would come. For sure. We can give it a shot for next week. Let's give it a shot, and if it doesn't... Yeah, if we don't have the right number of people, then we can... Because it is... If this works, this will be an annual thing.

Yep. We'll do the Royal Rumble case race every single year. Yeah, a t-shirt. That's what I'm saying. It will build to a point where we'll have people asking to come on it. Yeah. Who dresses as a wrestler sitting in the gambling cave. Just waiting.

Waiting for their name to be called. God, that would really suck to be the first person, though, because you've got to just drink so much. You're going to end up having 36 beers. Yeah. Somebody might die. We need some weak links to comp with me. Yeah, and me.

Yeah. No, you said eight. I could do eight. Yeah. Eight. I'm like a four or five. I'm four. There it is.

So we need like Grace VanderWaal and Tate McRae. Who are those names? Come on, boys. I knew one of them. Say those names again. Grace VanderWaal and Tate McRae. Okay. Tate was at the Lakers game the other day with Olivia Rodrigo.

Yeah. Who is Tate? Yep. She's the next big thing. She's next up. I know Olivia. Female pop star. Oh, Tate is a woman.

She performs. She performs. That's what we've been missing. I know her from being at the Lakers game the other day with Olivia Rodrigo. Yep. That was big for you. Yeah. When I saw her at the Lakers game. And you knew it.

Well, Connor told us it was coming. Connor Griffin. His big Tate McCray guy. He said something about it. He called it his Super Bowl. That's Olivia Rodrigo. That's Tate McCray. That's Connor's Super Bowl. Yeah. Yeah. That's Olivia – that's Tate McRae. That's Conor's Super Bowl. Yeah.

Wait, which one's Tate McRae? Tate McRae's on the left. And Olivia Rodrigo's on the right? Yeah. And LeBron's on far right. Oh, and LeBron's on the right. Asian Elvis is on the far right. Wait, where's Asian Elvis?

Right there. That's Native American Elvis. He looks like he's – Hold on. I think that's Asian Elvis. You think that's Native American Elvis? That's ambiguous Elvis. That's h American Elvis. He looks like he's from America. Hold on. I think that's Asian Elvis. You think that's Native American Elvis? That's ambiguous Elvis. That's hound dog.

Nick is correct. Thank you. He doesn't. You're lying. What? Thank you. I ain't lying about this, brother. Oh, my gosh.

I mean, that was pretty good. What was? I ain't lying about this. Yeah. No, that was a Native American man. Did you do the High Noon ad read? Gladly. Oh, there they are.

Yeah, Tate McCrayan. I can't believe I didn't see this last one. Flat out missed it. Flat out missed it. What did he miss? He would have otherwise got on a plane to L.A. What could he have? The best case scenario is just one.

I think the best case scenario is seeing this photo. Yeah, that's what it was. And he saw it. Connor also had a tweet that was just so wholesome, like old school Twitter. On Sunday, he's like, just timed up the pizza I'm making. Yes.

What's the art of the game? Frozen pizza. He loves his frozen pizza. Got a frozen pizza in the oven. Should be ready just in time for the final stretch of this game. Let's have ourselves a fourth quarter. I wish I got it. He only eats frozen food.

He eats like a Steak'Em Salisbury steak for lunch every day. Yeah. What? He's amazing. He's a fascinating person. He also does not preheat the oven. He just throws it in cold and then goes back and sets it. And guesses?

Why would I wait to preheat when I could just... I like guesses. I like that. That's fine. He's fascinating. He's White Jay. I just like that because it was just old school Twitter. People don't tweet like that anymore.

That is true. I saw it. I got annoyed. I was like, why am I annoyed? I'm annoyed because we get fucking gourmet food every day readily available. That's true. What is it today, Jamaican? It wasn't readily available.

Oh, that guy's hair. This is the Mona Lisa to him? Forget Asian Elvis. Look at that guy's hair. That's a terrible thing. Oh, no. Oh, that's rough. Metaphors are all over the place.

Is it a Super Bowl or Mona Lisa? Yeah, what would it be? Is it a painting or a football game? Come on, man. Keep it together. Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon. Sip on summer flavors in the middle of winter. Introducing the all-new High Noon Snowbird Pack,

featuring a perfect mix of winter and summer flavors. The eight-pack includes two new flavors, raspberry and plum, alongside High Noon classics, peach and lemon. All made with real vodka and real juice. The Snowbird Pack is a winter exclusive so get it before the ice melts track down the pack nearest you at high noon spirits.com is mal a second today i think there's a yes i think there's a revolt out there i don't think lunch has arrived yet oh no people are gonna be really i think there's like the lord of the flies situation megan did say

she was gonna bring you a plate yeah this is the problem not problem. You have not gotten a plate. I miss it every day. Max, this is bullshit. Oh, no. Thank you, Max, for the recommendation today. You can let us know when it gets here. This is on Max? Yeah. Is it Max's fault?

Wow. That was 31 minutes ago. Still not here. I need him to answer for this. Yeah. What the fuck? Unacceptable. I mean, we got to, what is today, the 23rd?

Yeah. Man. We're in the final stretches. We almost made it. This really has been a luxury. Yeah. Without it, I'm going back to PB&J's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm going to come up with a scheme.

I've been saving so much money. Yeah, so much. I tried to buy a totem pole. I have the perfect corner in my apartment for a totem pole. Yeah. I've been looking on eBay. Yeah, not authentic, but like wood.

A totem pole? Yeah, I want one real bad. I have a perfect corner for it. I wanted a suit of armor, but Chef Donnie already has the suit of armor I wanted in his place. Wait, what does a totem pole look like? It has faces. The Native American one?

What's going on? What the fuck? It's your fault. What did you do? What happened? You guys don't even eat right now. We eat at 11.45 before the show. We miss the good food. Yes, we always eat before the show. I don't know what to tell you. Paige was like, we don't have a

lunch tomorrow. I was like, oh, I know this place that's good that I've just been getting off of Uber Eats. It's like jerk chicken place. I said it was good. I don't have any experience with the catering. I don't know why everyone's coming at my neck. I just said a place that had good food, and I recommended a place that had good food. I can't speak on their catering scheduling. Can you name a bad food?

It's not my fault. It's the place's fault. You vouched for it. I vouched for the food. The food's not here. Your name is everything, man. I know. I vouched for the food.

Max, ruin lunch. There it is. We're all starving. Look at the screen right there. I know. I'm sorry. Are you starving? I'm hungry. There it is. Yeah. It's right there. I'm sorry. It's right there. Look. We're all starving. Look at the screen right there. I know. I know. I'm sorry. Are you starving?

I'm hungry. I could eat. It's good food. That's the thing that- What have you eaten today? But here- I haven't eaten yet. I skipped breakfast because it was lunch.

Because it was your lunch. It was your lunch. It was my lunch. And that's the other thing. The food could be the best food in the world. As soon as- If it gets here, everyone is just going to be like, this food's trash, no matter what. Yeah. i would not no yeah you will okay i would too okay

somebody will come up to me and be like that food was good i come back when it's here okay do you want me to no no just come back and tell us it's here it may never be it may never get here they're they're they went to the store they've they've blocked spider's number so what's oh my god they've blocked spider's number the store revolted against us huh yeah no you should have a spider come come in and try and call was he being creepy what was he doing it it rings for like a half a second and then goes to voicemail you ruined lunch so what's the recourseourse? Three weeks. Three weeks we did this perfectly. All right, good. I'm happy that everyone is getting a little bit of, you know, storyline out of this.

We got the bachelor here today. He's hungry. Story's starving. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Storyline. Storyline doesn't fill my tummy, buddy.

I'm pissed off. I'm mad. You've got that guy keyed up oh he's always that guy's always on edge now yeah i know well i mean this is he's aged a lot i'd be on edge too like you let a whole office down yeah this is worse than coming in your pants we've all taken our shot at recommending and everybody else's recommendation has been here. Apparently, Kyle told me hands-free cumming is a genre. I didn't tell you that. Kyle told me. I told you. Yeah, you told me that.

What'd you call it? Hypnosis? You told me that. No, no, no. I told you. I don't know how it started, but there's a hypnosis genre? I'm not surprised. Are you looking up hands-free cumming?

No, it's definitely a thing. Is it? It would have to take so long american pie may have done it i think i could hands-free come no way yeah with audio you always think you could do everything no but that i mean this isn't really a brag no you always think you can come this is the opposite of always think you can come oh yeah american pie that was yeah they had a little competition. Shannon Elizabeth... In a frat. ...pops her top off,

and they just have to stare and bust. But that wasn't hands-free coming, was it? It wasn't a competition. I thought... You could show them whatever. I thought she took her top off, and then he busted. Yeah.

No, then he went over there and was standing next to her, right? Oh, yeah, that's right. I don't know. It's been a while since I've seen it. I've never seen any of them. I don't know. It's called hands-free hypnosis okay kyle told you that yeah

i don't know i think if you talk to jerry i think he could do it yeah we should try a realistic sound video him coming on jerry after dark or you could just fuck a pie. Oh, that's good. We should get him an audio-based, hands-free E-Jack, and then he finds out at the end it's a dude. Oh, God. What would he do? He'd be very mad.

Yeah. Or maybe he would be like, I like that so much. Yeah. My life has changed It was Michelle Obama the whole time Oh my god Big Mike He's busted to Michelle

It's so funny that people call her Big Mike That ain't right But it's funny Brandon are you ordering food? Yeah I am You broke the seal Dude you're a fucking scab. Yeah, you're a scab. We're standing in

free lunch months together. You're crossing the picket line. I order a backup Chick-fil-A every day. The one day I don't, I'm screwed. I always have a bag of Chick-fil-A. What do you mean by backup? You're going to eat it regardless. It's not like you order a backup Chick-fil-A every day. Have y'all not seen me

sitting over there every time there's lunch? But you're eating the Chick-fil-A. No, I don'all not seen me sitting over there every time there's lunch? But you're eating the Chick-fil-A. No, I don't eat it. Sometimes I take it home and then eat it later. I order Chick-fil-A. If the food is good, one day it was salads, I had my Chick-fil-A. You have a break in case of emergency Chick-fil-A? I always have a backup Chick-fil-A.

Brandon, how's that fasting thing going up we were talking about earlier? When did we talk about that? He said you should try fasting. When we first met, you hated me. Oh, yeah, that was the first thing you ever said to me. You were pursuing it. No, no, you didn't say hello. You didn't say how are you.

You said you should try fasting, you fat piece of shit. That's what you said. Pretty close, pretty close. How's it going? I will never fast. I can't fast. We did it once. I can't not eat.

For the show, we did 24 hours, and Brandon- I did it, too. Really? He was the biggest baby in the world. And I hated it, yeah. Grumpy, all that. I can't handle it. Oh the show, we did 24 hours and Brandon. I did it too. He was the biggest baby in the world. And I hated it. Grumpy, all that. I can't handle it. Oh, he was so irritable.

It worked? He's his Chick-fil-A. I mean, I last ate at, what, 6 o'clock this morning. Oh, my God. And I'm. Yeah. Wasting away. I want to die right now.

Yeah. A whole five hours. I've been working out. I've been planning to work out yeah i've been buying the books and doing google search as a hot guy uh that are you into all the the the cold water tub bullshit and the bro how much bro science stuff are you into how much stuff have you we were talking about this on the show i'm familiar with it all i've tried everything at least a few times like the cold plunges i still do cold showers every day ah do you do air squat in it okay no air squat how long is

your cold shower i do a normal hot shower for the first for the whole shower and then the last minute and a half total opposite cold and cold and does it make you feel good yeah i sleep better that's one thing i do it at night and then oh you're a night shower whoa whoa you do two showers i do both i have to shower i shower twice yeah can't get into a bed dirty yeah i do yeah you can i literally yes you actually can true what beds are for but that other than the plunge i don't know what else is there i mean there's like the fasting no carbs gluten is now a big thing for folks are just completely dropping it for health reasons of like getting ripped but i don't know what else is there kb um bullshit like sauna um sun which i can't get isn't like sun like sunning your taint a thing yeah sunning the taint is a thing yeah the uh what's it called the pair uh perent per perennial perennium what's the

perennium the huberman community is like turning on him though, like actively. Really? They're like, this has ruined my life. Because a lot of them are like OCD about it. Their entire lives are day to day. How do I optimize my dopamine? And now it's like, this is ruining my life. I need to have fun.

So now they're like getting back onto weed, booze. Doubling down. It's bad out there, yeah. Wait, do you cold shower in the morning too? Yeah, both. Fuck, I guess I got to start trying to do that. You don't have to do it the whole time though. Do a normal shower and then just end it cold.

I'm telling you. Can you start it cold? You can start it cold. I think I'd rather that. That doesn't reverse it if you heat it up? Oh, it might reverse it. I actually don't know the science of it. I don't know. I don't reverse it if you heat it up? Oh, it might reverse it. I actually don't know the science of it. I don't know.

I don't want to do the cold shower. How long is the cold shower? Three minutes? No, a minute. A minute. I barely do it. You do three? Three.

Do you time it? Like, with the time? Yeah. Oh, wow. I don't know. I'm fucking miserable. I recommend not doing it. I recommend getting happy.

Kyle's the most honest bro science guy in the world. He'll do something and he'll just be like, that sucked. He walked in to record Anus yesterday. Can I, you mind if I say this? Yeah. I said, how are you feeling? He said, honestly, man, really suicidal. Oh.

Oh, is this the weed thing? I think it's weed. Weed withdrawal is real. Like, I was pretty dependent on it. And not getting sun. Mixed with not being able to go outside at all. What day are you on no weed? Like 10.

I'm still getting cold sweats. Really? I wasn't like a long time user. I just did 70 days straight. Why'd you start going outside now that it's getting a little warmer? It's so trash out dude It's raining today Today's bad

Today's slippery as hell It sucks It's gonna be But I know The psychology is that it's fleeting And I know this is temporary So that's better There's no hopelessness

Get to March Punt February Next week we got a couple. I thought Vegas was going to be like sunny and not. No. I looked at the forecast. It's like 40. Are you serious?

What do we got? Max is getting yelled at somewhere. Oh, he's freaking out. It's going to be sunny in 67. What are you talking about? Is it? It's like 30 at night. It's also not close enough to know yet, is it?

It's like two weeks. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah, sure. We got some sun coming next week. Kyle, you need to get one of those sun lamps. Oh, yeah. They have those. Oh, really?

Yeah. Does that count? Yeah, it do. The Russians that they had work in the underground bathhouse in New York had those because they didn't let them. I think they lived down there. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You get one of those like. Vitamin D lamp. Yeah, you just sit in front of it. I know it because when I worked in real estate, when the whole world crumbled in 2008, I walked into my boss's office in like January and he had a sun lamp. And I was like, everything good? And he's like, yeah, I'm fine. That's a dead giveaway. He's just sitting in front of a huge light.

Was he like the Christian Bale on the big short? No, I wish. I would be richer. What happened? We have quite a saga unfolding. Oh, no. Smokes told me that they went to the actual restaurant to get the food. The restaurant said the driver is delivering the food.

The driver won't return any calls. No one has any idea where the driver is. He's doing a grand heist. Everyone's asking him to get away with a bunch. And Max is finally, yeah. It's the inside job by Max. Yeah. The food's at his house.

He sent it to his house. Yeah. This fucking guy. And like how much money of food do you think that is for the guy? When did this guy take off, did they say? That i yeah hours ago he's in burlington they had enough time to go to the restaurant and back before the guy could leave the restaurant come here you know that'd be a great like that doesn't make any sense this is my last week doing uber eats i'm just gonna run away i'm running away i'm done anyway it's like the end of the graduate he's sitting in the

back of the bus. He's just waiting for the big cater order. The driver was Max all along. I really think Max is the inside man here. He definitely sets us up. This is fucked up. What is Max saying? He wasn't out there when I went out there. He just left the damage.

How many people are out there? There's like eight or nine. A riot happened happened yeah yeah february 1st is what i'm saying i'm i have a problem on my hand and it's all the usual suspects it's white socks dave and nicky smokes nicky smokes and what blood men if they don't show up today does this push it today oh good point then we add a day on i think what i'm gonna do regardless is january 31st of wednesday i think i'm just gonna pay for thursday friday and then we go to vegas and just let these guys yeah we'll see what happens back here just lord of the flies we come back and there's just half the staff is gone yeah i don't know oh boy so we'll go through then

getting too accustomed to luxury is a bad thing. I know. It's been so great, though. Yeah. Scarcity loop. Scarcity loop. I don't know. Trying new shit, dude. I'm trying to hack shit right now. All right.

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Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. Did you? I feel like Kyle, you do get this like every winter, right? Yeah, I had it last like November, December, January, February, but not too long. November. Get some March. You should just go on vacation.

I am, yeah. Where are you going? Hawaii. What? What? March, yeah. Fuck yes. Yeah, I'm excited.

Hawaii's the best. Where are you going? I don't know. Why is the only place I've been that it was- Probably like Oahu. People talked about been that it was probably like a wahoo people talked about it like it was just such a high level and i was like well it can't be this good and then it was somehow better yeah i'm super excited yeah i was at my top choice yeah where was the bachelor mansion that was in la oh wait where do you live again now zach dallas

austin austin austin that's right go to hawaii though i'm going to Kauai in May. That's the island you should go to. Kauai. Kauai. I'm telling you. What is the difference? That's like the island where like 90 percent of it has been untouched by man. And that's where they film like Jurassic Park and all that. Better scenery.

Better. Better water. OK. Yeah. I'm telling you. Worth it. Worth it. Food.

Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best.

Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best.

Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best.

Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best.

Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best. Best Best, pokey. Yeah. If you like pokey. I love pokey. Oh, every day. If you go to Maui, I got some recommendations for you. And Maui is another island? Yeah. Maui's sick. Shit.

Do it. The road to Hana, it's this really windy road that you go. You can go to these beaches that feel like you're on the end of the world. Okay. Yeah, so I booked Puerto Rico, and I decided to pivot to Hawaii. Got it. What island do you think you have the best? Oh, that's because you don't have a passport.

What island do you think you have the best shot of finding? Yeah, news for you, buddy. Oh, yeah? Puerto Rico. That's the U.S. I think, do you not need a passport from Puerto Rico? No, you don't. Really?

No, you don't. Are you looking up Hawaii vacations right now? Yeah, I've been thinking about doing it, too. You should do it. You guys should lump it together. You should do it. Bring my team. You bring your team.

It's ours. Puerto Rico's ours. I thought you still needed a passport. No, I don't know. No, you don't need a passport. What island in Hawaii do you think you have the best chance of finding a Bible in the ocean? Probably all of them. Maui.

Maui? Zero percent. More populated. Hank, do something about Max everybody's so mad it's an inside job the food's at his house yeah I don't know

what's going on yeah fine that's on Mincy by the way Hank yeah good dozen team yeah Hawaii's awesome though you're gonna have

a great time is Mincy here? I'd love to meet him Um Uh no he's not We have Patrick Mahomes in the office today Not Mincy Oh

He's in a jersey Bummer Yeah Wait I didn't understand that whole promo I didn't get it I thought it was I didn't know what I was expecting You thought that he actually had Patrick Mahomes

No No but I thought it was like a guest of some sort But it was just him guest of some sort. But it was just him. It was him. Oh, that was him? Yeah. Oh, shit.

The podcast listeners had to have been confused. Yeah, very confused. Wake up, Mincy. Mince edition. This is all it was? I'm happy you put in mince edition. Rated M for Mincy. Notice Cell Blue doesn't get any promo anywhere. None.

Wait, what does mince edition mean? It's, well, if you didn't know that it was Wake Up Mincy, now you can see that it's the mince edition. He put his name on there three times. And it's rating mince. Yes. Hold it. Go back.

Go back to you, James. So it's Wake Up Mincy. Who's this about? Literally. The mince edition. And it's rated m for mince there's no he didn't mention patrick mahomes's name once no that was the incredible he mentioned his own name this is what we got from our brainstorming meeting oh zach i had a question for you so austin we were in that we were in

austin last year and we were in an uber and the uber driver said there was 100 days in a row that were over 100 degrees or something it was like crazy yeah is the summer in austin like do you just you can't go outside in the middle of the day you can't leave yeah this year was the worst it's ever been yeah i think yeah think, yeah, it broke 100. There was also a period during those 100 days where power was going out, so people had no AC. Oh, shit. Fuck.

And we had the complete reverse in the winter, where we had a, they call it, I don't know, snowmageddon or something, like three years ago, and it killed like 800 people. Oh, yeah. Ted Cruz got in some trouble. He went to Mexico. He went on vacation. Yes. Yeah.

So that, I mean, endured all that. So do you go out at night, like you go out at night, but the middle of the day, like... So even at night, it's like 95 degrees. Alright, and you know what? I don't feel too bad, because I think that's worse than where we have gone. It is, it is worse. It is worse. Like, you don't do anything.

You have no social life. You have to be on a boat, but even a boat is uncomfortable It's like going I've been to Miami in like July And it's like The most miserable place In the world to be In July

Oh and like Three showers a day Minimum Cause you just feel it Once you leave Yeah Vegas Summer League Is like Oh yeah

Vegas is bad Vegas is bad But at least that's dry Yeah it's dry It's dry So you get hot humidity And then it's also like Cold now right It's free Yeah it was like 23 when I left Today Yeah that sucks That's dry. Yeah, it's dry. So you get hot humidity. Then it's also cold now, right?

Yeah, it was like 23 when I left today. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perspective. Perspective. You still get sun, though. We still get sun. Yeah, we get sun.

And it's Austin. It's fun. I've got to find a way to get you some sun. I'm going to buy you one. Get me some sun. I'm going to buy you one of those. Buy me some sun. I'm going to get you one of those high-powered lamps.

I didn't know anything about this. Yeah, they mimic getting sun. I'm going to get you one of those high-powered lamps. I didn't know anything about this. They mimic getting sun. Or just take a vitamin D supplement. I do every day. Oh. Lost cause. Food's here? Do we have cameras there to see the stampede?

So help me God if there's one left. I'm not going. I'm on the yak. You made a Go. Go. I'm on the yak. You made a promise to Kyle. I'm on the yak. I made a promise to Kyle. Go get your food. No.

Hungry boy. Going out in this really cold weather has been heavy coat, hunker down at a bar. Kind of great. Yeah. It's going to be 40s. How did you find out the food was here, TJ? Jake Malasek texted. Okay.

Because I'm curious how long it's going to take Max to tell us. Right? I just saw him walk. Yeah. He's trying to make sure that all the food gets eaten before we get a chance. Selfish prick. Max. He's a character.

Yeah. He really is. He is. People think he's putting on a shtick. No, he's just a fiery Italian. All the time? Pretty much. Wow.

You know the best part about his character? His mid-range game and pickup basketball is unbelievable. Yeah? That's what Craig says. Are you going to announce it? That's all? What? Are you going to tell us?

Yeah. I can just say that the food is here. That's the announcement. There's food that is in the building. Is it your food? It's not. What does it mean? Is it my food?

Wait, is it from the restaurant? It is from the restaurant. Apparently, the driver went rogue. The driver took the food and then... Wait, so that's not the driver that showed up? I think that's the driver. I don't know. They went to the restaurant to go ask what happened.

They said the driver took the food like an hour ago. The restaurant is five minutes away. So that guy is still somewhere with the food to go ask what happened. They said the driver took the food like an hour ago. The restaurant is five minutes away. So that guy is still somewhere with the food. I don't know. Is the food cold? That's not their original driver. They got a new driver. Some people were accusing you of inside job where the driver just went and dropped it off at your house.

Oh, yeah. Really original joke here. Yeah. How often is that made? Do people do that to you all the time? Making a joke about me being fat? No, that wasn't a fat joke. That was not a fat joke.

That was an appetite joke. That wasn't a fat joke. That's a different way to look at it. It's not a fat joke. We're getting in shape. Yeah, it's true. Have you noticed a difference?. We're getting in shape. Yeah, it's true. Max and I have been lifting every day. Have you noticed a difference? Yeah. Yeah.

I definitely feel stronger, and my metabolism works better. Yep. Think about that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. One thing about Max. Food's here.

Food's here. Well, you can sit and talk to us, though. Yeah. Why don't you sit and talk to us? I was telling them. I just got done telling them uh your mid range game and pick up basketball is i had a good unbelievable i had a good mid-range game on friday yeah what is part of my take done to your lifespan

half i need to get a physical someone was talking about like i need to get blood work done i need to what are you going to explain to the doctor? About what? When he gets to physically, you're like, I got to get checked out, Doc. I'm on a podcast. Basically. The problem is that things just keep happening to him. Last night was very close. I was texting with Hank and PFT on the side.

But Joel Embiid scored 70. And after he scored 70, Carl Anthony Towns had 53 in the third quarter. And we were just rooting so hard for him to break 70 so that we could have just done the entire part of my take being like, Carl Anthony Towns, incredible. But it didn't happen. Yeah. And the Timberwolves lost that game. That's true. What is your path to peace?

What needs to happen for you to be? Well, I just need one win. I need one win while I'm on the show. Yeah. And then it'll be the greatest redemption arc in the history of media. No, he's right. I actually give him the speech all the time because it's like it sucks when your teams lose and you get shit on. But if you can get that one, everyone's going to be like people will actually cheer for him now.

It's also when you look at the show, I have the best collection of teams that are successful. Yeah, by far. By far. But he's got nothing to show for it. But I am known as the loser of the show. Right. For some reason, whenever I root for a team, I'm the loser, even though my teams are bigger winners than everybody else on the show.

Well, no, we're the same. No. Yeah, because if you either win the championship or you don't, that's how sports work. TJ, you get that picture? Yep. Alright, Max, you can go eat. Wait, wait. Do you have a picture of the food? I just want y'all to see this picture

of the line out there and tell me who you hate in this picture. Nikki Smokes. Tell me who you hate in this picture. Nikki Smokes, number one. He's the only one. I don't even see him. Who do I hate? He was at the front. I love Spider. smokes is tell me who you hate in this picture nikki smokes number one he's the only one okay i don't even see him who do i he was at the front who do we hate i love spider look at fasoli oh yeah where is oh my god he's just always posing fasoli had a major slip up today what did he do

is it fireable for him it might be he came into my office with the stool scenes or Viva TV camera and was like, how do you feel knowing that Mincy got Patrick Mahomes before a part of my take did? Jesus Christ. And I was like, Fasoli, we had Patrick Mahomes on the show five years ago, and he's supposed to be the historian of barstool sports? He's not. I already stumped him. I mean, that was brutal.

He actually took it very personally. He was i really fucked max a coyote hey max don't eat yet scurried away he didn't solidarity with the act yeah how about you don't eat today all right no go eat go eat go eat go. We don't want him too grumpy. Brandon, are you a Chick-fil-A twice a day guy? That's the family? No, just, oh, no, no, no, no. Okay, so what happened last night? Oh, last night was a problem. You have that picture, TJ. I blew it with Tommy.

So what happened last night? I think I blew it with Tommy. When I got home, my family wasn't there. My wife had taken them to Children children's church in in racine racine and uh they went and got chick-fil-a beforehand so i i wasn't with them they went out and they got chick-fil-a as part of a big outing so that's why tommy said no thank you i have chick-fil-a yeah so i we started a text chain with the with the fellas and tommy with no brandon on it and i I blew it.

Like, almost instantly. Why do you think you blew it? He was short with you? Yeah. I think that's his style. Yeah, here it is. Titus blew it worse sending me a text. I know.

I know. I said, Tommy, what'd you have for dinner tonight? He said, Chick-fil-A. I said, nice, nice. Feel like that's all your dad eats. Not judging. And he just wrote back, all right. All right, then.

Yeah. Yeah, he knew you were judging. I got like a hot flash when he sent it. I felt so embarrassed. You were texting a girl that you had a crush on? Yeah. I fixed it. I texted him. I said, do you still think Big Cat is cool? And he said yes. Yeah. And Nick sent him some, they started talking

about Pokemon cards. Yeah, and then I tried to get in on it. I sent an Abra. I found this Pokemon card in a parking lot two months ago. You're just in on it. Centenabra. I found this Pokemon card in a parking lot two months ago. You're just sitting on it? I've had it on my person every day for two months until I, or maybe it wasn't two, waiting to see Tommy Walker. I know nothing about Pokemon. Nick broke the seal and started asking about Pokemon, so I was like, this is my chance.

I'm going to take a picture and send it to Tommy. No response. What do you think the odds of finding, no, you got a response. Like right when we sat down. Yeah, way later. I do you think the odds of finding... You got a response. Way later. I fucking wasted my best Orca picture. Did he not respond to your Orca pic? He said cool or something. And Abra's not good?

It's shiny, Nick. Shiny in Pokemon terms is different. No, that's holographic, but I think that's even just reverse holo. All these things y'all talking about? No. All these things you're talking about happening in your own group chat? Our own group chat. Yeah.

So I wasn't privy to that. I thought you checked his phone at night. You got an LOL from Tommy, dude. I was asleep. Oh, I got an LOL. You got an LOL. You got an LOL, Kyle. That's not what I was going for.

I was going for like a wow. You said awesome, and then you said got phone. Oh, he said awesome. Got phone out so fast when I saw this, and he said LOL. Oh, he was laughing at how fast you sent the message. That's a huge win, dude.

Well, I haven't talked. Again, I was asleep by the time they got home last night. I went to bed at 7. 7? Yeah, I knew today was going to be icy or snowy. I knew it was going to be a tough ride. I got up, and I woke up at 5 o'clock and left my house at 5.30. You think you need to stay at mine?

No, I think today was the worst day Sheets are clean Probably Definitely It was a rough drive It was icy I think we're going to get some 40 degrees Get the snow out of the way

That'll feel great I looked it up Next week, Tuesday wednesday sun and like 45 degrees oh my god i'll be amazing just skip that day if you want to just walk glad i'm at the ice room yeah just get it all i hope you'd understand yeah where's kyle today he's just walking who's the portland guy deandre aiden oh yeah oh Couldn't play. So I guess there is, like, I guess it's really bad in Portland with the ice, but he could have played. Yeah.

Yeah. Somebody could have come. They sent a rescue team. Did you guys see that fire truck in St. Louis? Oh, yeah. That rocked. I know that it's bad because someone could have gotten hurt. They didn't.

I think they're all good. TJ, can you find that? What happened to the fire truck? It was icy roads. It just started spinning. I think they're all good. TJ, can you find that? What happened to the fire truck? It was icy roads. It just started spinning. Almost a perfect spin, though. Oh.

Holy. Yeah. You're waiting for it to hit something. Listen to the bang. Oh, they don't have the bang in it. There's another angle where it shows it. He just smashed that blue car. Oh, I thought it didn't hit anything. No, it hit that blue car hard.

Okay. Wow. Yeah, that's cool. Cool seeing a fire Okay. Wow. That's cool. Cool seeing a fire truck spin around. Was it en route to a rescue situation? No. Oh, then we could have. Spinning in your car on ice is just the most helpless situation.

So what's the move? Look at this. Yeah, this is the altering. How did people have their phones out in time? Oh, the brakes. How do people have their phones out in time? Oh, the brakes are, the brakes are doing nothing. Oh, it sounds like, uh, the guy who jumped off the Titanic and hit the propeller.

Oh, yeah. I love that guy. That was funny as fuck. I don't know if I know that video. It's like when the Titanic's going down, he jumps off, hits the propeller. And then he spins. Yeah.

But I like to think as he's falling, he's like, today can't get any worse. Yeah. I've like to think as he's falling, he's like, today can't get any worse. Dong. Yeah. I've never seen that clip, but I feel like you guys described it well enough. Thank you. You guys are good at that. Is Titanic a good movie?

Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It is. I rewatched it. I rewatched it like a month ago. Yeah, I was this fall. I rewatched it. Really?

I think we all rewatched it because those people died. Yeah, when those people died. And then Netflix was like, cha-ching, let's put it back up on. Oh, yeah. It was on Netflix right after they died. Yeah, everyone's immediate reaction was like, I'm going to watch Titanic. Yeah, wow. That's exactly what I did.

Yeah. Yeah. The world was glued to that submarine when that was happening. And they died almost instantly. Right, right. We were all wasting our time. There was a large group of people rooting for them to die. Yeah.

They were like, they're billionaires. The majority. Yeah. It was wild. That kind of, whatever. Why aren't your shoes on all the way? I don't feel like doing it. It's a lot of work.

Netflix is giving WWE $5 billion over 10 years to broadcast Monday Night Raw. What? $5 billion? Just for the one show. Not for the entirety of their company. $5 billion for Monday Night Raw. Royal Rumble everything? Raw.

WrestleMania? Monday Night Raw. Did you? Monday Night Raw. AEW? Okay. everything raw so mania monday night raw did you monday night raw aw okay you know they get all of that they get raw they got all of wrestling monday night show isn't that crazy dan that there's such a market for there's such an appetite for wrestling content like that that much money just being thrown i? I just thought it was because I think some sport just – or no, like Disney paid $4 billion for the Marvel Universe

and Star Wars and all that and WWE is one show. We need someone to pay $5 billion for the Yak. That would be so cool. That would be awesome. Just mailed it in. Would we? I think the Bachelor or Bachelorette franchise is a one bill yeah do you get any residuals oh yeah is it on net you get a check no it's on uh what is it apple apple tv it's hulu like live but i don't get any residuals really no no just paid up front

for my time but wait is it is it the further you go the more money you make no you don't make any money you get paid up front you get wait and there are they incentives for viewership so if you're a contestant you get zero that makes sense like nothing no matter how you were the bachelor though right then i was the bachelor after that then you get paid and that's your contestant first yeah i was on the bachelorette and how far did you get we talked about this last time this is when i uh self eliminated at the fantasy suites because you came in your pants you self came you did that's what a self that's all i can assume come on zach let's go to the fantasy suite don't feel like it i'm tired he's gonna lay here for a second yeah self-eliminated that's right hell

yeah i'm just gonna do push-ups now your your current fiancee fiancee yes yeah yeah does she you don't talk to any of the other girls right uh interesting story so the if you want to call them the top just got further because like you kind of weirdly like dated all these girls she knows people say like oh yeah it's an ex or yeah dated i don't really that's not an ex no i don't really see it that way. That's a stat. But the other girls, in the ranking terms, number two and number three, and someone else from my season, all stayed at our house this past weekend. What? Or last weekend. You just did The Bachelor again.

Well, I wasn't planning on being there. I was going to Scottsdale with my buddies, my college buddies, and they got their flights all screwed up. They thought I was leaving on, I don't know, Thursday. No, they didn't get their flight screwed up. No. Whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, I stayed on Thursday, so then we had like a movie night all together, and I'm like, this is fucking weird. Yeah, you did The Bachelor. What? With the second and third place finishers? I'm like sweating. I'm like trying to- Coming in your pants. Yeah.

Like- The usual. Pants free. A nightmare. like coming in your pants like usual dance free a nightmare and then i leave for scottsdale the girls have their weekend and i come back and one of them is delaying leaving and just stays till i get back and say hi and hang out and still in love oh no no i don't know it's weird weird stuff were you worried of what they were talking about when you left thousand percent yeah they're all great friends nothing obviously against them but it's just so it's such a bad dynamic right because you don't even do this

outside of reality tv you don't see people you've had relations like that but your fiance's friends with them yeah she's so much more mature than like i ever would be yeah i would not be cool with that if i had guys over that had a relationship with my girl no no no no no she's like oh invite him i'm like respect awkward movie nights yeah what movie did you watch oh no so we watched if you watch that new nathan fielder show the curse yeah so we saw the okay so uh me and one of the girls were watching and my fiance fiance was like, oh, I'm going to go up and take a shower. Wait, what? Whoa, whoa.

What? You were just – Okay, so we have – So now you're just watching something with – You're watching a movie. We've got a big living room. It was like I'm on one side of the couch. She's on like a chair over there.

We're just sitting. My fiance's like, oh, I'm going to go take a shower. I'm going to go take a long shower. That was a test. What the – There's trust. There's all the trust in the world. But have you seen the show yes yes so

the episode one with the micro penis so like right out micro yeah who said that who was talking about micro it was definitely a micro oh i don't know about that dirty job like a thousand in the description wait what is this show is this not the the curse the is The Curse. The Curse. Not Nathan for you. No, I know, but what was the other show? The Rehearsal. That's the one I said. No, it wasn't The Rehearsal. That was a good one, too. But The Curse, that's the one where it's scripted with Emma Stone.

And as she's going up to take a shower, immediately Nathan's micropenis is showing pissing. And I'm like, so how you doing? Yeah, yeah. How have things been? And then it flashes forward a little bit to show like this dad's micro penis i'm like this is just like a micro penis show like you're kind of giggling a lot like what and then there's a violent like not violent uh uh vigorous sex scene that happens with like cucking and you're just and i'm just sitting here like twiddling my thumbs but i

hear my fiance in the shower and this is a trap this is a trap she was seen if you would ask for a foursome i guess yeah that that this is a trap you got you you passed the trap but you were getting trapped you were getting trapped that is a it's a nightmare yeah no it was scary at first it was really scary yeah girls are scary yeah they are and then like when you went i did your fiance like stayed downstairs and like they were all just were you upstairs and heard them giggling and stuff no i was with them i wouldn't let i wouldn't allow a single giggle when i'm out of the room no giggling paul giggles yeah oh like was like giggling when she wasn't no no no when you were

away if i i'd be have my other room oh if i was listening to giggles yeah oh i would be hurt yeah i mean i would spiral yeah i'd be like oh that's yeah no damn giggles are worse than outright laughter too oh yeah no we saw that chick laughing at the coming yesterday when you cock back the point oh my god how's the golf in scottsdale uh we ended up not going we just wait what do you mean so we like got in late friday oh you just did scottsdale we just did scottsdale we actually talked to um rick of barstool yes yes and we met up with no rick is uh he runs the barstool all the bars he actually and we met up with... No, Rick is... He runs the Barstool Bar. All the Barstool Bars. He actually went out drinking with us for the whole day.

Great dude. Awesome dude. Yeah. From Philly, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just did tons of shots with him. And we just ended up doing the Barstool Scottsdale Bar.

Oh, nice. Then I asked about, like, have you guys ever done or considered Texas or Austin? And he said maybe Dallas. Yeah. But I feel like Austin would be a great spot. Awesome. Great. Good. It's so fun out there. Austin is very fun. maybe Dallas. Yeah. But I feel like Austin would be a great spot. Austin would be good.

It's so fun out there. Austin is very fun. I've never been. My best friends just moved there. I'm, like, so jealous right now. Are they comics? Shane Gillis is your best friend? No, no, no.

Joe Rogan. My Philly home friend. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. Although, it's become, like, how long have you lived in Austin? Coming on five years, yeah. Isn't it, like, it's kind of like Nashville, where it's cool, although it's become like – how long have you lived in Austin? Coming on five years, yeah. Isn't it like – it's kind of like Nashville where it's – It's so crazy to say that.

Coming up on five years. It's like Nashville where it's gotten too big for the infrastructure. I know Nashville is struggling with that where the population has boomed so aggressively in the last 10 years. Yeah, we're just under a million people now but it was 300 000 like four years ago that's crazy so yeah yeah it's quadrupled but um the uh everything's fine the rent is as expensive as it is in california though that's nuts which people go to texas to you know not get rid of it yeah but there's no state income tax so that's pretty nice too yeah it is nice pretty nice um do you want to try the yak gauntlet oh he has to yeah i guess i'll give it a shot you're gonna be so good wait do we have the sheet because i think

he's at plus he's at plus money like plus 150 which is low i told you i'm bad at basketball yeah like the three is going to be miserable now No, you're doing – you're putting it on. You're going to be awesome. You know you will. No. We will have someone go before you. Okay. Okay.

We'll spin a wheel and have someone random go. That's the wrong football. Is it? Mm-hmm. Oh, there's one – oh, yeah. There's one over there. I'll go get it. That's a small one.

Yeah. That would change everything. Everything. Everything. We got to get Malasek down here. Connor, change the football out. All right. I'm kind of nervous for the Sporkle, actually.

You can't. We've had some really bad Sporkle. We've had the dumbest of the dumb. We've had one of our roll-ups was like five minutes. Will Compton always struggles and the three-pointer stew finder had 28 air balls yeah and he like tore his quad did he genuinely i think he got very hurt chronically and he was like trying to like say that it was like not saying it was my fault but i'm like but that nothing here is like actually hard athletic stuff.

Well, soccer could get rough. Yeah, so the soccer, the only thing you got to know about soccer is after you take your first three shots, you can shoot from anywhere. So wherever the ball lies. Yeah, you can go, you can get any ball, you can just, any of the three soccer balls trying to score. But yeah, we'll have someone run through it just so you can see it once okay it is dark oh shit you can have them that's fine oh the soccer is yeah soccer's although the the bottom camera maybe who has the fastest time i do really i had a dream run impossible it's yeah it's one of those things that like i wouldn't if i did it 10 times i

wouldn't be able to beat my own 100 i had like the uh sporkle that i ripped through i hit both three pointers in one shot oh edelman was okay your second favorite on the upcoming odds. Wait, both three-pointers? You have to shoot two threes? One three and one three. Oh, I didn't know that. Like, every single thing I did, I wouldn't be able to recreate how fast I was able to do it. Tommy Smokes being a favorite should never be a thing.

Who made this? Shout out whoever made this. Yeah, this is cool. Oh, cool oh wait wait i want to see this goat chase goat chase shout out goat chase sweet so this is the fastest time for everyone on everything i guess this is awesome see yeah you see like i did I had the fastest soccer, football, basketball That all happened in And Sporkle That all happened in that one run

That's insane Yeah, it won't be replicated So it's bags Straight to soccer Yep And then Whiffle, football, two shots of basketball Then run in here for Sporkle

Then run in here for Sporkle Yeah Sporkle will be here, got it Yeah Alright, so TJ Brandon, maybe you walk him through And then he could just take your seat for Sporkle so he can see it. Dude, shut up.

Go chase. Yeah. Fucking great job. I love this shit. But he had Edelman as the favorite to take your lead, and he was not good, right? No. Or he was decent. He was decent.

He was the favorite at plus 1,500. 1,500, yeah. Wait, with the football, is it just hitting a bottle? Yeah. You have to hit one of the bottles, any of the bottles. You have to get your own rebound, though. So if you miss, you have to go get the football, is it just hitting a bottle? Yeah. You have to hit one of the bottles, any of the bottles. You have to get your own rebound, though. So, like, if you miss, you have to go get the football. Got it.

And you can't hit the table. You can't hit the wall. Then the bottle's got to hit directly. Hit the bottle first. Got it. Okay. All right, so, yeah, TJ, we'll have someone go, Zach, so that way you can watch just so you can get the flow.

Spin and we'll have some random person, one of us go. Look at Brandon He just loves throwing ball You know those sun lamps? Yeah Do they radiate like UV? Or is it like artificial? I think it's like UV I think that's

I'm gonna buy you one I want one, I'm afraid I'm gonna get like burnt Oh No I'm going to buy you one. I want one. I'm afraid I'm going to get burnt. Oh, TJ. No. I kind of want to see the lion. You want to make the lion go? Yes.

All right, lion. Get up there, lion. Rawr. Asian lion. That's how fights break out at Ken Jack's apartment I'm excited for this Jamaican does Jamaican food does it smell good does Jamaica have the most bang for their size?

Like worldwide bang. World culture? Yeah, I think you might be right. Like sports, food, music. UK. Still pretty small. Yeah. There's a big population.

Actors, bands. But that's a huge, like how big is Jamaica? Samoa. But Jamaica's given us reggae. Yeah. The food. Girl Scout cookies. Fast football players.

The fastest people in the world somehow. Consistently. That's a great question. Fighters. What is the size of Jamaica? You're talking about area or population? Oh, okay. Dominican Republic might be up there, too.

For baseball? Yeah, and just culture. I feel like there's music. What's their music? Daddy Yankee. I think a lot of people. I think UK jacks Jamaican swag. That's a fact.

Like slang and speaking style. Population biggest bang. What's Daddy Yankee? He's a Puerto Rico I think it's Vatican City with the Pope You can't warm up That's all they got That's all they got

It's a one It's very restrictive You were warming up Alright let's go lion What if he's great in a lion suit god that would suck you ready all right ready tj yes three two one go oh no oh god oh it's over it's over it's a wrap there it is hey this is awesome oh that looks like sucks now it washed that got worse weakness

He's actually on a fucking nice No, we could bounce He's not even stacking it back up. Why didn't I don't think that's a smart idea It's trying to lower his arm slot. We talked about this. I recently. I like the two-man push. He thinks it's the new meta. Oh. He's going to set it back up. Why is Miles the way he is? There.

Wow. Bang. He's on a roll. Under a minute still, Che. Oh, God. That was a good noise. Close. This is just a great visual. Close, though.

There we go Hey Great run here He's got an awesome run It's crazy how good your run was He could beat this No Not now

Not now Yikes There it is Sporkle Oh, yeah. Yikes. Nothing worse. There it is. Sporkle. Nine QBs to start for the Eagles after McNabb left. Kevin Kolb. Yeah. Michael Vick.

Carson Wentz. Nick Foles. Jalen Hurts. Four Grand Slam tennis tournaments. French Open. Wimbledon. U.S. Open. Australian Open.

Ten countries to blame. Lenny. Lenny and Carl. Shit. No. Wimbledon. Lenny and Carl. Shit. No. Wimbledon. It's not Carl. Number of stripes on the flag.

We blow. What the fuck? What? 10 countries to Brazil. Shed a flag. Shed a flag. 50. 13.

13. 13. There. 215. That was a good time. Wait, what's the other guy's name? Lenny and what? George. George. 215. That was a good time. Wait, what's the other guy's name? Lenny and what? George.

Oh, Simpsons. He also spelled Wimbledon wrong. You could have got that a little bit better. That was a great time for a line outfit. Best line time outfit ever. That's facts. That's my best time ever, too. Wow.

What are those hands? What did you do to get Malasek? Oh, Nick, you're two? Yeah. You got to be fast. I'm two and four. Brandon's three and five. Oh, that's way too long.

Oh, it didn't have the hands on. It's better than three. It's better than three, but I'm also four. But that's better than five. It is. It's not as good as three. It's not as good as two. But I have two to back up that three.

One of yours you didn't actually score the goal, though. I had a lot of time to score. Good at that time. Oh, yeah. All right. Zach, you're up. I'm rooting for you. Our duo time is slept.

It might be pretty good. Yeah. Minute 46? Yeah. Help him out, Brando. What if he gets this in like 23 seconds? No, the best would be if he goes, if he's like 30 seconds on the court in like 10 minutes.

Yeah, this would be good. Because then it would make us feel good being like, yeah, he's hot, athletic. We got that. Man, is he gone. He's got the brains. Yeah. He's like on your knee. Athletic We got that Man is he gone We got the brains Yeah What's What's

What's What's Zach's We're not talking to you Sorry What's Zach's Like what's the thing That can get him Cause like he's

Good looking He's nice He's funny Like what Does he stink No No he smells really good Like what is it

Oh he comes in his pants. He was on the anus podcast. Good point. Good point. A little bit ago, yeah. Things aren't going that great. That whole media career. Bye-bye.

We got to get him on Wake Up mincy all right you ready tj yep all right here we go three two one go he's off he's running oh oh no oh oh no there we go. Yeah, that was good. Oh God what happened dude now six sucks now. Oh Sucks a baseball eye on the ball. Oh, whoa. It's like a baseball eye on the ball. It's suck a baseball. Eye on the ball. Oh, maybe. Oh, he might suck at baseball. Eye on the ball. He might suck at baseball. No. Oh, damn it. No. There you go. There it is.

All right. He doesn't suck at baseball. Offensive lineman. There you go. Oh, that was so close. Oh. He said basketball is his weakest. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. One. Nope. Oh, no. The double hand head. Yeah, this is where it gets frustrating. This is where it gets bad for cool guys. Yeah.

They don't want to, like, hustle. And also, it's such an awkward throw because you kind of, like, half throw it. It's not far. He's hustling. Yeah, you can't look cool doing this throw. He looks like the guy in that drama series. You ever see that? Oh, yeah.

Go one knee. Go one knee. Yeah, try it. Maybe chase on to something. How Kaepernick would like to throw. Dude, has Malasek lost it? Yeah, he's washed. Somebody said he doesn't have that dog in him anymore.

I don't think he might have. He's in the dog. Dog's on him. There we go. There, three ball. Still decent time. Oh. There we go. There. Three ball. Still decent time. Oh, he's fine. Oh, you're fine.

Great form. You're fine. Oh. Never mind. Yuck, dude. Yo. Ew. Ew, dude.

What the fuck? You're not so hot anymore. So that's a new ick for me. What's Zach's beige flag? Can't shoot a basket. Oh, he's getting worse. Ick. Focus.

All right, focus. Yeah, yeah. This one's the first one that counts. I might do a coach him up. This is going to be even worse. He's like jumping before he. Titus, go hold his hip. Get it off your palm, Zach, on your fingertips.

Yeah. Uh-oh. Oh, no. He said, there it is. He did warn us about it. Here we go. Oh! Bank's open.

Whoa! Hey, now. Is it bad again? Has it been only Mincy that hit the cornhole board? Yeah. Saw took a tumble too yes sporkle sporkle brandon's sporkle sporkle sporkle stay right here no no no it's not nine nba teams named after animals maybe start there eight kids names in Rugrats. J.J. Watt? J.J. Watt. He's going J.J. Watt. No? I guess not.

Hawks. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Bulls. Yeah. Chucky. Yep. Fuck, what's her name?

Mm-hmm. Oh, fuck. Ryan Gosling. Oh, actresses. Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, two U.S. states that don't observe daylight savings uh arizona there you go uh all right emma stone yeah uh sandra bullock um wait seven number of sides on the seven dice

for dungeons and dragons i don't know dungeon yeah but uh wait wait seven one It's 11 types of Balsamic vinegar I just take a guess On that one Is there another vinegar I guess 10 more But I didn't know Fuck this is so bad Six performers Oh 50 cent

Eminem There we go There's one more person Fuck it You're still fine Beyonce No she wasn't there. You think they all look alike?

What? Oh, no. You're in the ballpark. You're right there with Beyonce. You're right there. Am I? Yeah. Think of Rugrats.

I know Chucky Stew. That of Rugrats. I know. Chucky. Stu. That's the dad. No. No. NBA team. I know. Why am I blanking on the teams right now?

I love it. This is unbelievable. In your state? Oh, Mavericks. No. No. Oh, it is an animal? I knew it was

You were looking for Rihanna Maverick's not an animal Maverick's not a horse Remember the guy got fired From social media Because he did the gun and the horse No the logo's a horse But a Maverick is a horse

Maverick's a person on a horse It's horse, but a Maverick is a horse. Maverick is a person. Maverick's a person on a horse. It's a type of cowboy. Maverick's a cowboy. Maverick's a cowboy, not a horse. Well, that's an animal. Mel Gibson played Maverick. Maverick's not a horse? No.

No. Yeah. You're thinking of Bronco. Wait, can you go back, TJ, to the sparkle? Okay, I was wrong. I thought it was just going to be one through seven. I did too. I was so confused by one.

Number of sides on the seven dice for. 446 though. Let's see who you're above. That's always nice to see. Remember that? A lot of people. Remember that guy got. One above Cam Newton.

Wow. Is that right? Yeah. I'll take it. I want to see what the franchise history. I wasn't lying about the basketball, dude. No, it was. The first shot was your best.

Well, no, your best because it didn't go in. Football was shockingly poor, too, though. I'm a lineman. I don't touch the ball. It was named after a TV show. Maverick. Yeah. James Garner.

What was the TV show named? It was Maverick. No, I know that, but what was... I know we're talking about that NBA team, but what was the TV show? Brandon. He's happening in Costello. Brandon, did you say it? Oh, Maverick is a – but that's not what their logo is. Oh, there we go.

That's a bill. How do you feel, Zach? Honestly, a little disappointed. Who were you next to? Above Cam Newton. Oh, okay. Then you're good. And, yeah, Mincy only beat you by 10 seconds

wait i see okay i see a couple mincy on there if i go again i have a good feeling i could beat it well you'll go again not today after the case race after the royal rubble case everybody should have to do it after the case right yeah yeah or. Yeah. Or duos. Yeah, that would be cool. Mousesack, people are saying you're washed. Started to kick well. He always kicked well. You were just better. He used to be feisty.

That was a big part of it. No. Your heart's not in it anymore. Yeah. You're too obsessed with fucking your dog. He should fight back more when we say that he walks away You want to fuck your dog? Oh. I said no. He just went like this. Maybe. I don't know.

Yeah, if I have enough time. I feel like it. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah. I didn't fuck my cat. One of my all-time favorites. I didn't fuck my dick anywhere near my cat. I've never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself I wasn't going to make apology videos after last year's thing,

so I'm just trying to be a short notice after last year's thing yeah what was his thing was he uh he was like a vlogger yeah he fucked the cat no he did another thing that got yeah yeah he's been apologizing for a while he like had a string where he just apologized i don't know over maybe i don't want to say. Something. I can't remember what it was. Do you know TJ? He had many issues. He had a former blackface video. He had a whole character that was just a blackface woman, basically.

Oh. Yeah. He was all over the place. He just had to keep apologizing. Yeah. He's been around for a long time. That actually would be not a terrible way to grow a following is just release an apology video that's vague enough

that people then have to figure out who you are. Yeah, and you can just, when you fuck up again, put out the same thing. Yeah. Brilliant. We should put out a yak apology video. Yeah. Like what we did on last week's show.

We do a daily show and try to be funny, and sometimes the comedy doesn't land. Yeah. We did that with Titus on PMT, remember? Oh, yeah. We were like, Titus is banned for what he said last time. And some people were like, what the fuck? I'm out of the loop.

That's still... People still reply. Yeah, people still have... It's bear and see bears. Yeah. You're going to eventually have something real stick to you than that. But it'll work in my favor because then everyone else will think it's just people talking about the bit. That's true.

Yeah, so I can fuck up. You got to say some really bad shit next time you come on PMT. Yeah. I don't want to believe it. It's a boy who cried wolf. All right, should we spin our wheel, TJ, and maybe eat some lunch? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you want to talk Ruff and Rowdy first?

Oh, yeah, Ruff and Rowdy. It's coming Thursday. I'll be here for an hour tomorrow, then I'm going heading to New York and then Providence. Ruff and Rowdy returns to Providence on Thursday, January 25th, with the 20 amateur matchups. Me, Robbie, Dave, Roan, Caleb Large, Frank the Tank will all be there. The main event is going to be awesome.

We have Bobby Lang defending his title. We have Diamond Hands fighting, who's awesome. We got the Dwarf title fight, Vicky D. I think Kirk will be there. Everyone's going to be there. It's going to be a great time. Providence is one of our favorite places to do rough and rowdy. Pay-per-view is available to watch on buyrnr.com

with replay available until the following week. So if you can't watch it Thursday night, want to buy it, you can watch it all weekend. It's only $20 this time, so come watch New England locals settle their feuds with this and spit, and it's going to be a night full of pure disrespect. Get excited. Rough and Rowdy is coming on Thursday night this week, so let's do it.

Everyone please buy it. It's going to be a great night. You ever have the urge to fight, Zach? No. Yeah. No. Same. I'm a peaceful guy.

You ever been in a fight? Yeah, one time. What happened? happened bar fight it was a bar fight right after uh georgia beat bama in the national championship in like 20 19 20 20 behind a bar in austin and uh we won oh we yeah yeah it was like a oh we got sharks and jets we got jumped initially we got jumped and we were just we were rooting for our buddy that was a georgia guy and then behind an alley at the bar a bunch of bama fans were barking at us and antagonized and then one of the girlfriends started swinging at one of our buddies buddy kind of like just pushed her away like get off me yeah and then the boyfriend's like oh you touched

oh that's a dream fight and then and then we're like all right we have no ties to my garbage time stats in a group fight this oh yeah passed out i'm just landing jab oh dude oh dude i i got one i was ball tapping while people were like yeah yeah that's the easiest place to be and that's a that's i had a buddy curb stomping everyone what oh i don't know about that not like that but he was like he was he was putting up the stats yes and then you go back after and you all replay it and you're like that was awesome yeah stompers and the ball tappers yeah that's the real fights going on mooks just mooking another guy are those lyrics i love this bar by toby we're like hiding behind like an offensive line you guys are on the periphery so you had one friend had one friend that went Jackie Chan on them and just started just

beating up all of them? He wasn't part of any of the swinging, but when anyone was down, that was his chance. Oh, jeez. Make him regret it. Damn.

It was awesome. The adrenaline after that is the best feeling. It was peak. We ended up buying a table and bottles because we were so excited. Hell yeah.

It was ridiculous. Was there any peace made after or no? How did it end uh so we just left because they were yeah they were down um your buddy forget about it we'll never see them again to turn on the tv yeah exactly wait a minute yeah oops uh no yeah we went out Celebrated It was a great night Highlight And that one girl Just started the whole thing

She started it Yeah The drunk college girl Yeah There's nothing Like She knew what she was doing Yeah

Thousand percent Start swinging Alright TJ Yeah Let's do it Uh oh Uh oh It doesn't look great

No Whoa Yeah let's do it Uh oh It doesn't look great No Whoa Nope Fine What's wheel reset All the pieces that got taken off go back on So it goes back to a big one Zach always fun to have you on man

Thanks for having me You're definitely going to have to be in the Royal Rumble case race Would love to What wrestler are definitely going to have to be in the Royal Rumble case race. Would love to. What wrestler are you going to be? Mysterio. Yeah? Yeah. What?

Why? Is that you, Brandon? Can't be Mysterio. Why? He's dead? Yep. Why not? Can't wear a mask.

Why not? Why? Mysterio should be. We almost should have to draft Mysterio. Who do you think? Mysterio should be. We almost should have to draft Mysterio. Who do you think should be Mysterio out of everyone on the Yacht cast, Brandon? Say what you want to say. No, I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying you can't just draft Mysterio and Mysterio is all of a sudden off the board.

Everybody wants to be Mysterio. I don't. I had no desire to be Mysterio. I did not want to be Mysterio. He was in my top five. Not even in mine. Guys, desire to be Mysterio. I did not want to be Mysterio. He was in my top five. Not even in mine. Guys, can I be Mysterio? Yes.

I'll allow it. You'll be Mysterio. Can you 619? Sure. Okay. I want to be Warrior again. I'm just going to run everything back. All right, fine.

I won't be Warrior. You can be whoever you want. I'll be Goldust. Nice. I'm going to be Cody Rhodes. I'm getting the neck tattoo. Do you know Goldust and Cody Rhodes are actually related? Whoa.

No, not true. Adoption? Goldust and Stardust are related. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. All right. Thank you. It's the act. Yes, time to talk shop. We're doing Yankees love. It's the act.

It's the act. See you tomorrow. I'm going to dress as the referee for the Royal Rumble.