The Yak - Malasek is Getting His Own Dating Show | The Yak 9-9-24

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

KB's NFL quarterback take reigns supremeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. Welcome in. It's the Yak. Hello. Roback.com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code Yak.

20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. Boom. Check it out, bro. They're back. Amodies, joggers, shorts, rowback.com, promo code YAK. Boom! Check it out, bro. They're back. Am I right, guys? Hell yeah. Kyle fucked up. It's my biggest miss. Yeah.

It was... I'm heart warmed. It was heart warming. That's exactly what it was. It was, we all went in scared because we thought it was going to be a dad like trying to completely use their kid for fame and there might be a little bit part of that but it was more big justice just being an awesome kid who's living his best life and he was funny and he was having a great time and it was a

good litmus test to see who has a cold heart because there were some people like this sucks it's like dude if you watch yeah it was awesome it was awesome for an 11 year old to hop on the mic and still like he was good to be entertaining yeah i feel like they have they both look up to each other i actually this is what i missed about kyle not being here you would have had an incredible you you would have had a field day asking them questions. Yeah. I wish you would have been here. You would have asked so many good questions.

Yeah, but they just kind of laugh. I'm actually going to push back. I don't think – I think Big Justice is peerless. I don't think he has any peers. Big Justice has no friends. No. He has friends. He has friends, but I don't think he looks up to anyone but his

friends yeah put his phone number on the internet yeah that's true that's insane yeah i'm saying more so aj kind of looks up to his son yeah i could see that he we we got a little more details aj i guess had a mortgage youtube that's why uh that's how it all started so he had a mortgage youtube and then big justice in school was like all his friends had like youtubes with 30 followers he's like my dad's got one with a thousand that's and that's how it popped off yeah so the mortgage business yeah they're just having a blast they are they're having and the whole family was great. Yeah, I feel like they, like, AJ and Big Justice, like, stay up at night on the patio at, like, 2 a.m., and, like, they'll turn to each other and just smile and shake their heads

and be like, we really made it. Yeah, we did. Yeah, they did. Yeah. They do the ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Also, he owned Brandon, which was awesome. I don't know if that's a very good recollection of what happened. He had the one-liners just fucking going on.

Were you quick back? I was quick back. I dominated that kid. He threw the organic cucumber right in your face. Show him the organic cucumber. Yeah. Right in your face. Then he took a yard.

No, I struck him out before that. He took you yard. Brandon, what happened to your shin? I don't know. I don't want to look at it and give it attention, because then I'll let it win. So apparently there's blood on my shin. Wait, where? It looks more like condiment.

Oh, is it condiment? I think it's condiment. Yeah, that's fried barbecue sauce. But you don't have any cut. Blood would turn brown, Brandon. I don't want to look at it, because I don't want to give it the satisfaction. So I'm just going to let it stay there. So be it.

That's smart. Yeah. Don't let your shin win. This is like an obvious question, but I'm not sure you've asked it to yourself. Did you bump your shin into anything? Not that I recall. I don't remember any shin related incidents. If you had, I would assume that that's probably what it was.

As far as I know, this is just my shin begging for attention and I refuse to give it to it. I banged my knee really hard this morning. What? That's too much attention. That's the whole story. God damn. I just went, ah.

While we're doing this, I do have a confession. I fell down the stairs on Friday. Oh, my God. What? Here? Like four stairs. Oh. You brought it up on the show.

What happened? I was like, what do you mean you fell down the stairs? I was in my socks on carpeted stairs that'll happen and the first step going to the basement my house is narrower so my foot can't quite fit on it and i went like too much heel i needed to go more ball the foot wait it's so narrow your foot kid oh this way this way when my foot goes this way yeah like my toes hang off the first step. I thought you meant the other way.

I was like, what? Then I fell, and then I was like, I'll be goddamn. Big Cat said this would happen. He said it would come for me. It just, you just hope that your big fall, everyone has, my theory has always been everyone has one big fall year, and you just hope there's not people around to see it. It's usually like wintertime ice.

Ice is, yeah. But, but yeah you have one big fall year that you just there's nothing you can do about it i obviously had mine in the hallway after the ice tub uh and yeah you just don't want there to be cameras or people to laugh at you yeah i do have like a rolodex in my head of my big falls yeah like one was at college with all my books in my hands on the ice in front of like you know classes are changing you know like there are fun one is a high school hallway the water fountain had water down and fell there's there's nothing worse than the big fall when you think no one's watching and then you do the quick look and you're like oh fuck i saw that because if you see someone big fall you're just gonna i big fell in vegas highlight ruined my week. Oh, yeah. You did big fall. Big fell. 11 steps.

11? It was double-digit steps. 11 steps is enough steps where you're like, this is the end. I had one guy. It was all in my butt, so it probably looked like I was having fun. But one guy that saw, he was like, are you okay? Yeah. And I said, yeah.

And he said, are you sure? Yeah, because four steps, it's over in a blink of an eye 11 steps you have a moment you're thinking like step five and six you're like is this gonna go on forever it's just am i just falling down steps for the rest of my life i'm changing the subject because i can't keep it in anymore and i can't lie to you guys and titus and i have been in cahoots what What? Last Friday, we were pissing in the bathroom and there was a woman shitting next to us. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you did tell us that story. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shitting in what bathroom? The men's bathroom. Yeah. Here?

Yes. The Will Compton bathroom. Not the actual Will Compton Museum? No, the furthest from it. Got it. Are you going to say who the woman was? We don't know who the woman was. I'll address it. I it. Are you going to say who the woman was? We don't know who the woman was. I'll address it.

I'll confirm it was not one of them, if that's what you mean. That's funny because- I looked at the shoes. We thought it was a woman. That's funny because you guys came out and you said Big Justice's mom is shitting. I think that's what we thought. That's what we said. We maybe thought it was a woman.

We thought it was, but I did my due diligence. You went out and checked. I went out and checked her shoes. That would have been so awesome. We maybe thought it was. We thought it was. But I did my due diligence. You went out and checked. I went out and checked her shoes. That would have been so awesome. She was wearing Nikes. The perpetrator was wearing New Balance. Very small New Balances, lime green sweatpants. I did walk out and stare right.

They were out there taking pictures or doing videos with people. I just walked right up to her and put my face right in her shoes. But Titus and I had a full conversation with our eyes while we were both grasping our dicks, peeing. How do y'all know it was a woman? Yeah, how do you know? Yes, it was a woman. We had a very tiny shoe person who was a man on. Who's that?

Jerry. Jersey Jerry. That's true. It was the politically correct tiny shoe person. It was the smallest of feet. It was a woman's shoe and women's sweatpants. And none of the guys around the office were wearing. We don't know who.

I don't know who. We don't know who it was. I don't know who else it could have been. Was she maybe just pissing? Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah. Girls do.

Do you guys sit to pee? Every girl? For the most part, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot that they needed to. Yeah. I don't. How do you turn that into a Brandon thing?

Because I said that the other day, didn't I? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You like to say it, but. Listen, Brandon and I are in a good spot right now. I actually said to him, I confessed to him when we were eating lunch together, I said that I think that we've reached best friend status. Whoa.

We're clowns. And that I would cry at his funeral. He said he'd cry if I died, which was big. Does he ever give you grief? Yeah, he gives me grief. When have I ever given you grief? Ever. I don't give you grief.

Every time you get anxious about something at work, you give me grief. I do not. Have you ever thought about what you'd tweet if one of us died? For Kyle, I'm going to say, fuck, man, period, tweet. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. That covers it. It says it.

Yeah, Brandon's cry territory. I think everyone in this room is. I wouldn't cry for Steven. I would. I would cry for Steven. I would probably just let one of you tweet about whoever died and then I'd just retweet. Yeah. That's probably how I'd handle it.

You wouldn't tweet for me? Nick said everything that needed to be said here. This. Damn, fuck. You guys put my GoFundMe out there? Kids. Oh, yeah. Probably not. I would. Big cat. this damn fuck you guys put my gofundme out there kids oh probably not i would big cat i would say i'd help your kid i would say something like really obvious i would just be like he's gonna be missed and the show won't be the same without him or something yeah and like have it appear to

be heartfelt but it's like no fucking shit your show that you do with brandon's i would like to say i'd be heartfelt because i would cry but i would i'd like to say i'd be heartfelt but i know that i would just be like say what you want about brandon walker they said this this this and just bash him like but i love the guy yeah i'd have to i'd have to should we tier list everybody in the office for like weep well up uh yeah then there's the tier of like oh who oh who uh we'll just do like life doesn't change at all yeah yeah i mean there's there are some there's some definitely people that would be like oh that's a shame i'm in a room full of cries yeah um there's a few cries upstairs yep there's a few like there's day ruiners.

There's weak ruiners. There's also probably a, a, a, a even lower category. Like, Oh, well that makes sense. Yes. Like a mince or Nikki smokes. You'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. They should have probably died. Yeah.

But I think you can combine those. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody could be a cry Anna. That makes sense guy. Yeah. Because there is definitely like if someone said, hey, if they came in on Monday morning, they're like,

hear about Nicky Smokes? What, he died? I'd beat him to the punch. I'll be mad at Mincy if he doesn't die funny. Oh, yeah. He's going to die funny. How is he not going to die funny? He'd have to.

What would be the funniest Mincey death that's a really good i think it's yeah he lives funny yeah die very straight choking on like a like a sausage a metal cog yeah i think he's like got a lot of wily coyote in him he would just like walk all he got like a piano falls on him and walks off with the keys in his teeth right he gets struck by lightning he'd come in with his hair straight up. I could see him like, you know, when you're watching a football game and they'll just every now and then someone standing on the side, I won't get run over. I could see him dying there.

Like they take out the stretcher like, wait, no, he's dead. Fuck. Or he would be. Never pops back up. I'm thinking of your scenario brandon he would go through all this stuff and then just die in the most mundane way like yeah after in his like how did patton die hitting his head on a do i have that right general patton died i don't know i remember i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure it was patton he died in like right at the end of the

war the war was over oh he hit like a speed bump in his car and hit the top of it. Oh yeah yeah. What? Yeah like Attila the Hunt died of a heart attack. He survived World War II. Low speed car accident. That's brutal. He survives World War II and then just hits a bump and like hits his head on the roof of the car and like breaks his neck somehow. What a waste He literally didn't even get to go to the championship

parade. That's fucking brutal. Yeah. It's like Houdini dying getting punched in the stomach Yeah dude you did all those magic Tricks and you just got one we got one I was it either I might have made that up but I'm sure I was gonna bring up to

Yeah I punched in the stomach Steve Irwin's that way a little bit I think everybody Has a way they'll die yeah I Yeah because I once punched, I once jabbed Dave in the stomach and he's like, that's how Houdini died. Don't do that. Mincy getting rolled up in like a tarp for a rain delay.

Oh, yeah. But they don't figure it out until the next season. They roll it out. Completely mummified. What the fuck? Six-month-old carcass oh damn that's a shame observing derelict cars

along the side of the road Patton said how awful war is think of the waste moments later the 1938 Cadillac limousine driving them to the trip collided with an American army truck at low speed how did he die at low speed oh my god he was the only one who died them to the trip collided with an American army truck at low speed. How did he die at low speed?

Oh, my God. He was the only one who died? He was head on the last partition. And I bet you they laughed about it. Gay was only slightly injured? Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. This is hilarious.

He began bleeding from a gash to the head and complained that he was paralyzed. Whoa. Why would they use the word complained there? You don't complain about anything. You don't complain that you were patented. What a grump. That's always a bitch in his moment. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You complain about traffic.

You got to take that complain out. That's bullshit. Yeah, somebody needs to edit that out. Oh, I feel like I'm about to die. Shut up, Patton. But you're bitching. Someone has a case of the paralyzation. Patton spent most of the next 12 days in spinal

traction, so he probably was paralyzed. Increased the pressure on his spine. That complaint is brutal. This is a hell of a way to die, he says. I told him he'd never again ride a horse. How many horses did he ride? I mean, a doctor could tell me that at any point.

He'll never be able to ride a horse again. What's the matter? Nothing. What's the thing that would least phase you if a doctor told you? I think that. Yeah, I think it might be. That used to be like a real diagnosis back in the day. You'll never ride. Yeah, you'll never be able to drive a semi truck.

What if a doctor told you you could never sprint again? I would be just fine. No, that would kind of bum you out. If it got public, I think people would just start chasing me. Yeah. That's me. Sprint was not bad. How many sprints do you think you got left in your life?

Oh, a shitload. A shitload? No, you don't have a shitload. What percentage of your sprints is behind you? But doesn't your definition of the sprint just change? Yes. What if you just get... like Kate can still sprint. It's just not –

But it's you running as hard as you can. That's it. Running as hard as you can. Max effort? You always have a max effort. Max effort. Like four. Yeah, I would say 99.999% of my sprints are behind me.

Do you think you'll ever use a gumball machine again? Yeah. Yeah? Kids. Okay, fair. Gumball, yeah. And then grandkids, I assume. You'll always be around gumball machine again? Yeah. Yeah? Kids. Okay, fair. Gumball, yeah. And then grandkids, I assume. You'll always be around gumball machines.

Okay. I feel sad that I'll never cartwheel again, even though I probably would never cartwheel again. I've never cartwheeled. Oh, you're missing out. In a big field as a kid. What's the one thing that you've never done that people don't believe you when you say?

I have one. Skiing. I've never gone skiing. I've never done a back're like, people don't believe you when you say. I have one. Skiing. I've never gone skiing. I've never done a backflip. I believe it. Yeah. That's not what we're saying. But I could do a lot of trampoline tricks except that.

I've never done that either. I've never told a consequential lie to a loved one. You should try that. Probably not. I've never. I'm trying to think of if you have. Oh, yeah. Have you?

Like an impactful lie. Okay, yeah. Like it would shatter them? No, I'm not proud of that. I guess I haven't done that either. I've never had the opportunity. Yeah. I've done that plenty.

We should all try that. Lie week? I've never had a bloody nose. What? Whoa. Yeah. You should had a bloody nose what whoa yeah we should have you should get a bloody nose wait that one's crazy because i used to you know playing you sports in the head did a lot of cocaine never had a bloody nose i've called a 20 over here yeah are you saying bloody nose just in the sense of getting it smashed or just you've never had a nose bleed no blood has never come out of my nose ever i have never seen blood come out of my

nose i don't think my nose is able to bleed yeah i've never understood i've never had like just a random bloody nose i've never had like i've been hit hard in the face blood has never emitted from your nose correct that's what i don't understand it you never had a booger that was like blood booger nope i just don't think there's i don't maybe there's just no brain in my blood in my brain that's possible that could be possible possible but yeah i i it's something that i just don't i don't think my nose like i said i've been hit it's not like i've never been hit in the nose i've been hit in the nose very hard to be to the point of like oh here comes the blood and it just never comes we all want to break his nose right yeah yeah we have to yeah almost have to won't it will only just result

in a broken nose we know blood yeah I never understood the good people who are just like like if the air is too dry they just start out of their nose I just get nosebleeds all the time they call it the nosebleeds when you sit in the top

row of the arena because people – Never done that. They're apparently people that get like altitude. I thought it was because poor people fight. Oh. That makes sense too. Yeah.

That Chargers-Raiders fight was awesome. I didn't see it, but I do. You're telling me a Raiders fan got into a fifth place? I assumed there would be a Chargers Raiders fight. There's just something about Chargers and Raiders fans. I feel like they know that when they fight, they have to submit a really good fight video. It's got to be all ages, sexes, people getting knocked out.

You think there are fights at the Raiders game that don't go viral because there's not good enough fights? I think there's fights at the Raiders game that afterwards people are like, don't post that. Not good enough. That wasn't good enough. Even the guy who wins. Yeah, look at this.

I mean, there's like five or six in this list. Yeah. Different fights. Yeah. This is what you want. I feel like they don't even want to fight. It's an obligation at this point. It's almost in like a rut.

Oh, my God. We got to set the tone week one. It's great. These guys are tough, too. What the hell? Yeah, shirt off guy. This one rules. The guy just chokes him out.

Yeah. You make him tap? He knew. Oh, boy. That's brutal. Oh, that's brutal. Look at this. Did he tap?

Oh, no. Yeah. Look at this. Did he tap? Oh, no. Yeah, same one other angle. What's the worst jersey to get beat up in? Ooh, good question. A kicker's jersey? That guy punching everybody? Getting beat up by somebody in a kicker's jersey. Oh, that was that?

Raiders on Raiders? Sean Merriman. Yeah, sure is. Yeah, then there was a fight in the game. That ruled too. These two teams just flat out don't like each other. Harbaugh just gets his teams to fight. Do you guys regret not fighting more?

I do. I kind of do. No. I've probably been in like three or four fist fights. I've wasted my size. Where all were not fun. It seems just like the worst experience possible. Nobody likes hanging out with the fighter.

No, yeah. No, but the adrenaline you get right after is incredible. Yeah, you could drink a thousand beers. Yeah, it's incredible. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But 30 minutes after a fight. It's good for your overall confidence moving forward as an adult.

That you know you can, yeah. That you know you can, yeah. That you know you can. Yeah. Hmm. Because there's so much doubt in everyone's mind, like maybe I would get my ass beat, so I'm not going to say this. I have no doubt. I know I would get my ass beat.

Yeah, I think I would. I've removed all doubt. I feel like if someone's willing to fight, then they will. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, college is kind of of the last i haven't been in a fistfight since college that that's because that's everyone just is like walking around being like let's fucking fight that's a different yeah but fights are pathetic yeah that's once you get to adulthood you're like this is not worth it dude like i don't well i'll say sorry to i had one in

uh vape when we went to Vegas for the Sphere. Oh, yeah, we did do that. I was walking, I was walking, remember when I went with the guy who was hooking us up all weekend? Yep. Shout out to him, great guy. We were walking out of one of the clubs, and, like, three kind of Eastern European guys were walking towards us, and, like, we almost bumped, and the guy, like, turned to me and

was like, and i was like whoa dude almost bumping like we we were like kind of like i kind of got out of the way and he gave like a yeah that's what i thought and i was like i don't want this yeah like please sir i'll suck your dick right now yeah don't do this but like it was very clear that he was just walking around ready to ready to fight yeah if i had just been like what he would have just he's a hammer yeah he's just trying to yeah he just wanted that that that reciprocation but maybe that is cool maybe i'm just i know i would lose so i'm convincing myself that it's lame no it's lame to fight as an adult okay yeah i think even if you win, you're still...

Surely... Yeah. Surely, like, hours later, you're looking back, you're like, what the fuck was that? Yeah, why did I do that? Why did I... Is he rooted for the other team? Yeah.

Because he said the Chargers suck. And we kind of do suck. Yeah. Shit. Why did I get so mad when he said that? We do suck. Yeah, adult fighting. Yeah. I think, think too like you said like the camera and like it's gonna be on camera because every fight is now and i know i would look like the biggest i know i'd be crying because i get a mind like oh yeah yeah i would just look like a

loser yeah it's no win winning your shirt would come off one of my biggest fears is having to fight out of like duty in some way like Like a girl you're dating. Yeah. Defending her honor or something. Or like, like if I was out, if I was with you in Vegas and you started fighting, I'd be like, fuck dude, I gotta get. Have to jump in. Yeah. Dan started this.

Now I gotta. But that's a big bonding thing. Yeah. You jump to your friend's defense. It's like, I got this. So at least if you get in your own fight, you brought that on yourself. Right.

That's the defending. Those are always the worst videos when it's the two girls fighting and the boyfriend ends up getting knocked out. It's like, come on, man. That's the lowest of lows. When we had Harbaugh on the first time, we asked him the last time he was in a fist fight,

and we were thinking he was going to say when he was 16. And he was like, five years ago, and we're like, what? Like, I have rules. Hey, I watched that documentary last night i didn't know salience it was exciting yeah he was with us on saturday yeah yeah i'm gonna say his mom started crying in the middle of the living room on saturday it was very awkward oh yeah i must have missed a step now we're like like sympathizing with him no no no no, no, no. No, he was our guest picker. But they're like, what was the crying?

Casey cried after watching it being like he was just doing it for the love of his mother. And then I went to take a shit on Saturday and I came down the stairs and they were there and they were both crying. And I was like, what am I walking into? You can see the... What is this?

The Gavin. Oh my god! I had an 18-year-old son and I was just like, oh my god. I went to Texas A&M. We never went anything. My son decided he was doing the thing for me. He did it for his mom. What?

What's the story? That's powerful fucking shit. He said he was going to cry. This will make my mom love me more to steal sides. Yeah. What the fuck? It was an awkward moment. Did you say something in that video at the end, Bernie?

I did. Yeah, I came in there and said no. He didn't do it for his mom. I just told his mom and I told, yeah. Wait, did the mom push back? Yeah, they were like, you don't understand. Bernie's like, I have four children. I understand perfectly, yeah.

This is the very end. So this is Connor's mother, and she saw me and started crying because she was so happy that I was. It's ridiculous that she cried. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. Shut up, Frank. I got four kids.

I got four kids. Wait, I don't get it. What are we talking about? She was a huge Michigan fan, and so Connor became a huge Michigan fan. Yeah. He was like a coach every year for Halloween as a little boy, and she was like, yes, yes, Michigan, Michigan, Michigan. And so his whole life became focused on Michigan football

and wanting them to win. Did she need a surgery paid for? No. But he didn't cheat for his mom. He cheated for Michigan. But can I say it was? No, no, no, no, no. Don't do this.

Don't you fucking do this. The 10,000 pictures. Can I say without, like, shit? Can I say that? You haven't said anything yet. When his dad said he's like Rain Man, I think he was hitting on something. Well, yeah, like Rain Man can mean one thing unless it's somebody that looks just like Dustin Hoffman. Like Rain Man is just what people said autism was.

And the 10,000 pictures that he took of himself? The entire 90s diagnosis for autism was just, yeah, it's Rain Man. Rain Man, yeah. I'm just saying. It would be wild if he did look like Dustin Hoffman. That's how I would describe you. He's like Rain Man. He's like Rain.

I got a buddy that's like Rain Man. I guess he's like Rain Man. Oh, he's good with numbers? No, no, no, no. He just looks exactly like Dustin Hoffman. That really was the... No, he's dumb as shit. He just got that look about him.

That is funny, though. That was the official diagnosis for a very long time before that movie came out. Oh, yeah, you got Rain Man. Yeah, it's fine. Take him to Vegas. Have him count toothpicks. Yeah, find him a train station.

He'll be fine. My son's a little Forrest Gump-y. Oh. Looks exactly like tom hanks that describing your aids diagnosis but yeah connor sally's that was a ridiculous moment yeah and then they got humiliated i think we forgot about that part yeah they did they got just completely humiliated and they got absolutely stomped and it all is kind of for not in the end brandon had probably the biggest day saturday of his life bad day to be a enemy of brandon walker yeah that was great michigan

lose notre dame lose iowa colorado lose yeah every day is a bad day to be an enemy of you brand that's true but this was an especially bit sure the streets were blood every red with with brandon walker's blood of his enemy. Oklahoma looked bad. Yeah. Everybody that's an enemy of me just took it on the chin, and then my team got the fucking shit kicked out of them. No, Buckeyes won.

You're right. We did. We did. You're a high stake guy. Yeah, I am now. It's Buckeye Brandon. I like that. Yeah.

I think I might have cut my shin. Oh, no. You just let it win. What are you think I might have cut my shin. Oh, no. You just let it win. What are you doing? That looks like a preserve. Why would you let the shin win? No, it's definitely. It must have happened last night in my sleep.

That's a nice strawberry preserve. I think I. Y'all scratching your sleep? Oh, yeah. I scratch in my sleep a lot. No. With your hands or like your feet scratching? Both. Everything. I think I scratch. I will wake No. With your hands or like your feet scratching? Both.

Everything. I think I scratch. I will wake up with just long scratches. Clawing yourself? Yeah. Do you lotion your naked body? No. After a shower?

No. Do you have bed bugs? Huh? Do you have bed bugs? I don't have bed bugs. You might have bed bugs. Well, it'd have to be couch bugs. Are you certain you don't have bed bugs?

I slept on the couch last night. Oh, no. No, I wanted to. During Sunday night football, I have an 85-inch TV now. I don't have the sign on the wall yet. Whoa. I'll have the sign on the wall. I just don't have it.

I got to get my – I got him a sign with a bell. What does it say? It says, if you're enjoying this TV watching experience, please thank Big Cat. There's a bell that you can ring. It's pretty nice. It's a big sign. Yeah, it's a shockingly big sign. How did it go haven't got it up how was your nfl sundays oh mine was terrific i don't know about these boys

mine was terrific bears got their quarterback in the future oh yeah one of those one to know can't apologize for it anybody ask you to apologize for it? A lot of people. A lot of people were asking me to apologize for it. Jets tonight. Kyle, you nervous? No. Like, if I know they will lose by, if they don't lose, if they lose by more

than 14 points, I'll go to Punta Cana. What? That's wild. You're insane. I'll stay at a sanctuary. Wow. That's almost as bad as the guy who's going to drink cat piss. I saw that.

Yeah. He might be locked in. Yeah, he's got to drink that cat piss. Wait, there's a cat piss guy now? Yeah, there's a cat piss guy. Cat piss man. Bengals fan. That's bad.

That's no joke. Oh, the Bengals. How do you collect the cat piss? Is cat piss especially stinky? Yeah, cat piss is the worst piss. It's the worst piss on the market? It's the worst piss? I think it's the worst piss.

I'd rather eat a little piece of shit. Really? Same here. Cat piss is awful. I guess it depends on the amount of piss. Liquids are grosser than solids. Yeah, if it's a whole shot of- How did you hold your nose?

He went private. Oh. John Rich is going to... John Rich is parched. Our guy Memes has something tonight. When they announced the schedule, because Aaron Rodgers obviously only made it four snaps last year on Monday Night Football,

and actually Leonard Floyd, who was the guy who sacked Aaron Rodgers, plays for the Niners now. And memes said if they schedule us on Monday Night Football and Aaron Rodgers gets injured again before getting to five snaps, he will strap a bomb to his chest

and blow up the NFL headquarters. Wow. That's a direct threat of terrorism. Yeah, we're on memes watch. Okay. So he'll be live streaming the first four snaps Yeah that's not There's no subtleties about that He's seriously I don't think he'll do that

I hope he won't do that but I do think that If Aaron Rodgers got hurt in the first four snaps I think he'll quit and we'll never see him again He's made that Pretty clear I'm more you have to you never know i'm just i just don't think he's gonna be great just because it's the jets not because he's old yeah that is that is a stinky part of every like every year i do these touchdown parlays and

i forget how hard it is to score a touchdown yeah Yeah, it is. And like every year like, oh, like this wide receiver three is he'll score. Yeah, the best dudes only have like 100, like the best, best. How many touchdowns does Jerry Rice have? What, like 120? I might be way off. Am I way off? Look it up, TJ. But it's shockingly.

It's like, no, like they're not. It's so hard it's hard and I'm like eyeing up Olamide Zaccheaus plus 900 like it's a Smith and Walensky steak that's gonna hit and I'm gonna get paid ten thousand dollars I want I didn't even go two for five on any of them it was one for five or oh for five so the the golden bag watch is... The golden bag is not going to happen. Damn. I got to just get smaller wins and then add it up. It's amazing what you can convince yourself of.

I know. All the Bears receivers, all these guys, they're so good. Cole Komet. Barely played. DJ Moore. Keenan Allen. They're all going to score. Was it just the Bears and Steelers?

They both won without scoring an offensive. Justin Fields. Oh, Jerry Rice had 208 receiving touchdowns. Justin Fields and Cale Williams had 20 offensive drives, zero touchdowns. Yeah. That's fun. But I still love it. The games are great.

Love the NFL. I picked Saquon Barkley and the touchdown pool thingy. I was out before Sunday. Were you really? Hurts and Josh Jacobs. That's crazy. They didn't score. They should have.

But I'm out before it started. Fucking running backs. Oh, I'm out too. Yeah. But I'll be back in Is Che here behind us? Yeah Oh yeah Anything to say about Saquon?

Had a great game Let's see how he does all season Okay Also for all the fucking haters Who are hanging out with me about Saquon Oh yeah Yeah fuck you Che I hated that tweet

Here we go Give me some flowers I said Marvin Harrison Jr. Should not be a top 10 receiver. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were talking about this. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

50 years old tweet. Hold on. Give him the season. Oh, you're talking about Laura Oakman. Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Steven, give him the season. Yeah.

Yeah. Agreed. But for all the losers that are bagging on me for one game, it's a full season. Well, Saquon did score a lot. What was your cherry pick stat? How many rushing yards? Oh, agreed. But for all the losers that are bagging on me for one game, it's a full season. Well, Saquon did score a lot. What was your cherry pick stat? How many rushing yards? Oh, yeah, it was like 1,000. 1,000 yards.

What was that? Because he had 1,003 one year. Yes. He's never broken 1,005 rushing yards. You're a piece of shit. Trapped in my narrative. Yeah, Steven is – so the lore opened – 1,005.

1,005, that's what he said i did i watched that video he hasn't had over a thousand and five rushing yards since his rookie year purely facts uh steven is i i forgot it because we were you know for week one haven't sat in the gambling cave with the boys in months i forgot that steven is just obsessed with what the sideline reporters and the studio hosts are wearing like week one was kicking off kicking off week one and he was like way too many people wearing pink suits today like what are you talking about we're about to watch football was it it more than four? That would be a little bit crazy. It was two?

I think three. Three? That's crazy. Yeah, no, this is crazy. What is this? That plaid hat? Yeah, this is it. That's a crazy look.

That one's tough. Yeah, but Steven got got because two years ago he said it went hard. No. That was obvious sarcasm. I don't know if that. No. That was obvious sarcasm. I don't know if that – you don't have obvious sarcasm. That's not in your bag of tricks. Scroll down. You can see it, TJ.

In the reply, somebody posted a tweet. It's a hilarious outfit that she wears. But you don't do obvious sarcasm. That's not one of his tools. Yeah, it's just not – there's never been a time where I'm like, obviously that's sarcasm from Steven. Look at this. Lorik was just stunting on everybody too hard with this fit. You like that for this?

I think you just like this. I certainly don't. So at some point in the last two years, you've fallen out on Burberry bucket hats. It's hilarious. She looks like Birdman. It looked better there with the coat. Yeah, it did. And it did without the coat. She's got a hot body. She's hilarious. She looks like Birdman. It looked better there with the coat than it did without the coat.

She's got a hot body. She's cool. I'm not denying she's good looking. I think she can pull it off. You can't wear that at 51. You cannot. Who was the other one that you were way too horny about? Was it Suzy Colbert? No.

Who was it? Aaron Andrews? No, you had one where it was way too horny. Oh, Shannon Spake? Yeah. What was it? That was Joe Namath. Aaron Andrews? No, you had one where it was just like way too long. Oh, Shannon Spake? Yeah. What was that tweet? Yeah. I didn't tweet about her yesterday.

No, I'm saying I specifically remember you being like almost like sticking your dick into a picture. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, no, that's how it came across. Was Shannon Spake? I think I've just made a comment. I don't know if I've tweeted about Shannon Spake before. There might be another one. How old are you, Che?

You routinely match your purple shirt to your purple shoes. Good point. He does. That's true. So in... Oh, no. Yes. Who was it?

I honestly don't know who you're referring to. I would think it's aaron andrews also what number jersey are we at yeah uh oh that that was 24 that's 84 you just can't tweet that i didn't realize this because cambray friend of mine is uh like a co-host on a show so i was kind of congratulating him but yeah then people were like there's no way you acted 84 times and that's true we're four down yeah you gotta be careful with your

football player gifts I realize I realize yep okay can you just respond did you clear it up I did I did it in the responses to the Cambrian one I did okay I gotta find this one that you were way too horny about can't remember but it grossed me out so bad Can't bring one I did. Okay. I got to find this one that you were way too horny about.

Can't remember, but it grossed me out so bad. Who's your other – you have other ones that you like. I like a lot of them. Yeah, but he's obsessed with them. It's not even – football isn't even in his mind. It's just what people are wearing. He's more into that. He kind of watches football like a chick. Yeah. Are you a pervert?

Should you back off on the sexual stuff? You have sex addiction? Drinking off a little too much, too. It's kind of concerning. We got to hit our number by Halloween. Why? That's perverted. Yeah, why?

It's a pervert move. Yeah, it's mad fast. That's just what he decided in his head yeah i actually had an appointment today about it and i have a follow-up uh before halloween a few days before halloween but why how halloween i don't like this this kind of ruins the competition right oh at a natural pace and he said naturally unfold. Jay, don't listen to him. What's best for your body? He is going at a natural pace. He's forcing busts.

He's only busted four times in the last five. He says he has to. He's now motivated by milestones. He just has to hit a checkpoint every day. There's no way you were busting this fast before. Before? No. Yeah, see, that's what I mean. Should he just have to do this for the rest of his life

i think we have to just keep counting up this pace is tough to sustain but i mean i told you guys i was gonna go crazy in september i don't know why people are interested he did he told us called a shot babe ruth stephen shay september tried to warn you i will jack off a lot jay's pointing his dick towards a tissue. It is unsettling seeing the gif come out. Especially if you catch it within minutes. I missed the... I haven't caught one live yet. Oh, I caught Brett Favre within like three minutes.

And I was like, ew. It feels like you're in a room with him. Yeah, it is a little bit it's just you you'd like to catch it like an hour or so later but yeah when you get it right away oh it was a very weird situation to come to work last week and it was after number one and about a dozen people congratulated me for having jerked off. Any chicks? Yes, actually. What chick congratulated you for jerking off? I don't want to go there.

I hate myself for this question. How long between the bust and the tweet? Number one? Yeah. Under a minute. So your dick was still out. You didn't even clean up. It was leaking. You were leaking while you were tweeting. It was still out. You didn't even clean up. It was leaking. You were leaking while you were tweeting.

It was still dripping. Even Che be leaking. Yeah, he tweeted whilst oozing. The rest of them have been a little bit of time. Gross. Do you pick out what player you're going to do before you jerk off not usually okay so it's afterwards i'm gonna cam newton one i knew but then after that no i did not game time yeah we love getting out to live events whether it's a concert a football game or a comedy

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Are they? Again? Yeah. If you die after football starts and you die quietly. Oh, yeah. Very quiet. Yeah. Not even – didn't even go to the field.

Yeah. Are we ready to pronounce any players dead? Like they're done for the year. They're not going to be good. Unless the Stars are bringing the heat on TV for 25 years. Yeah. That's gross. That's absolutely not gross.

From you, yes. Looks good. Actually bringing the heat there. But again, everyone does have to remember that Stephen Che, his origin story is he found out about barstool because i did a uh like five minute hit on mike and mike back in 2014 or 15 so he is when when the executives at these companies sit down they're like who's the sports fan we're going after it's steven shea he is he is like test market anonymous he's john doe of sports

fans so he's like all right melissa stark like someone will get horny you're like yeah we got guys who get horny about this is it kind of scary that that that might be the majority of people yeah no i think he is i think he speaks for the i think he's more representative of sports fan than anyone else you enjoy watching commercials commercials, don't you, Che? I mean, like the Burger King commercial. Yeah. I don't like that he uses the same descriptor, sheesh, for a hot sideline reporter that he uses for his grilled toast.

His grilled hamburger buns. It's all buns. He's undefeated. It's how we're on. Her buns weren't even in that picture he's been he's been over tweeting the buns too has he he's proud of himself making progress yeah he's proud of how far he's just using just using buns i sounds sounds like you might be jealous of how good he's getting at grilling. No, I don't. No, not buns. No? No, I'm good.

I'm ready. Jay, did your caramel reviews go viral? No. Oh. Oh, miss. They were fun, though. Season two, maybe down the line. What did I miss?

Caramel reviews? What did I miss on this? He did caramel reviews this weekend. He was out in Door County, don't you know? The last thing you want to hear is people chewing caramel. Very quaint downtowns. Went to a candy shop. They had all different types of caramels.

I love caramel. So I decided, let's give it a shot. Leave us. No name brand, no chain, no nothing. So this is a Door County caramel. This is the salted caramel review. Salted caramel review, Door County. I'm really nailing this.

I really want to go to Door County. It looks great. It's beautiful. It's like the size of maybe like six quarters stacked on top of each other. Come on, Jay. Come on, boy. It's a video. Just show it.

The size of six quarters. The size of six quarters. Stacked on each other. One of you laughs. It's the size of every kid. Or it's on video. You can say, this size. This is how big it is.

Show it. Put it up after your arm. Really chewing. Oh, yeah. This is gross. Big boy. Six quarters. This is something someone would do as a bit.

But you're doing it for real. Long windy. I'm pissed I didn't think of it. It's like a really long chewing. We would all do this as a bit. How long did this go on? Really good. That's the score?

Really good? There's a good fucking review. Really good? Yep, that was a review. There's two other episodes. Oh, let's see the other ones. You have another six quarters? This might be the best thing you've ever done. Six quarters. So apparently Door County, known for their cherries.

Export cherries left and right. That's their thing. Why are you doing your stand-up voice? TripAdvisor, one of the top things to do. Cherries. This is his stand-up voice advisor one of the top things to do cherries this is yeah it is yeah my voice no label and your family's like right off the side how How many quarters is that? Pretty tall. One bite, right?

It's a tall piece of caramel. He keeps describing the caramel's height. It's the best caramel review to ever do it. It's a cube. Nobody describes caramel's height. He's gotta be the only dude Doing that

Cornered the market And now we wait Will this one be pretty good too? Caramel's pretty chewy Oh boy This is so good How tall are the Caramel? Oh boy This is so good How tall are the care about

Just confuse you just getting hints of cherry left and right Yeah, they're funny, but they're not meant to be but they are hilarious nothing It's just so long Yeah, they're funny, but they're not meant to be, but they are hilarious. Nothing. I think it may have been. It's just so long. Tasty. God damn it. That's a, oh man, we don't even have a. There's no scale.

There's no balls system or anything. Nope. So first one was really good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Second was tasty. We got the third one. So first one was really good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Second one was tasty. We got the third one. I mean, I need more. It's all so perfect. This is going to be the final caramel. The fumbling with the

phone when he tries to unwrap with one hand. Pecan caramel. Very distinct smell. Delicious. I love pecans. Candied pecans. Sign me up. Pecan caramel? No idea. I'm going to like it. He's getting too sassy now. I don't know. Wait. What happened in there, guys?

What were we working with? TJ just got the video memorized. Candy pecans? I watched it ten times on Sunday. I love caramel. Oh, my. Alright. We got a big boy here.

I mean, this thing is about as wide as a roll of dimes. What change? Put it in it. What change? Why? Don't know if that's going to be a good thing or a bad thing. Could be either.

Give a shot, one bite every now and then. Rules. Here we go oh walking we need more caramels we need people toamels. Like a dog drinking out of the toilet. It is like a dog drinking out of the toilet. I don't like this one. No, I have bad goosebumps. Wait, Brandon, so we can laugh,

can you go put your legs up on the TV and wrap his face? Not great. What? You gave so many mmms. Mmm usually means good. Tell the truth. If it was pecan flavored, it would be good.

The pecans in it. What do they taste like, the pecans that are in it? I wish they were candied. It was just straight pecans. If people have great caramel, please send it to us. That's his thing. I did say season two coming soon. Don't send small ones.

No, we need big ones. Send like size of dimes I was thinking a gold sack of joeyas so it started because I had to take a flight to Green Bay on Friday I got off the plane it started because you bought caramel and you're weird

I guess that's the Che what's the origin story behind this? What were you going to say? How did it start? Give us the deep lore. Well, I went to a candy

shop and there were all different kinds of caramels. And you usually don't see that. And it was like not a it was just they had wax paper on them.

Yeah. Okay. So that's like their thing. So what point were you like I should film myself chewing this for a minute and a half?

It started because you saw caramels in a candy shop But that's that's like a unique thing for it to be not like name-brand just like a regular Carmel in a chain in a candy store. That's pretty common They're probably that's the number one place. I'd expect it. There were probably maybe like seven different varieties. I only picked three. That's not even a crazy. Oh. That's like there were seven. Oh, there were so many. That's a lot of as far as the eye can see. Seven. But was there a part of you that's like the exhaustive chewing process

without humor to this video? Certainly. Okay. Yes. Did you mean to, was, did you write in the weird sizing comparing it to six quarters? Everything's straight. I just knew I was going to chew for a long time, give it a quick description, and yeah, that's it.

But like, intro leading for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, had to. I got to see the other four now. You got to go. Got to go back. Got to go finish out the seven. If anyone from, I actually got a lot of messages

about people from Door County. If anyone wants to send me some caramels, please. I'm buying some right now. If you were so gung-ho on reviewing these things, why didn't you just buy all seven? I didn't know how this series would do. I wanted to do a pilot episode. That would have been wasteful.

If people like it, I'm happy to do it. I love caramels. About how much was each one? I think like 79 cents. Okay. You probably could have just bought one. You could have signed for them. I could afford it, yes.

What were the flavors you passed up on? I think one might have been like almond caramel. TJ, you're a dick. I don't recall, but those looked like the three best to me. I'm glad people liked it. I really did. Loved it. I really, really did.

I'm mad I missed it in real time. I would have demanded more. Turn around. Yeah, get back to Door County. I need more caramel reviews Can we get a Actually no I don't want to mess with it I was going to say I would love to have a scale Instead of just pretty good

Meh No let it evolve how it's going to evolve Yeah just let it go Something else Maybe post it to like the confections message board. See what candy heads say. Oh yeah. See where you stand. What's that? Seem not

pretty self-explanatory. We need you to get in the candy community. Do you think it's traditional to throw the whole thing in your mouth or take like a half bite? Is it not? That's what I'm asking you. Can we find a caramel festival? Do you think that's how most people eat those things? What are you holy cowing?

There you go. It's private. TJ, can we find a caramel festival? Is that like a porn thing? Straight candy. Oh, yeah. That might be a porn. There's got to be a caramel festival somewhere. Right?

I don't know. Oh, I love those. Yeah, but those those are real caramel those aren't caramel that's just on r slash candy I want you going to the caramel fest in Indiana yes there is there is? when?

let's look at oh it's a summer thing a summer thing? oh shit and I think it's only because the town's called carmel oh oh you never mind that's carmel that's that would have been very funny if steven went to that was like where the fuck is carmel that would make me laugh beyond anything i've ever laughed what the fuck is going on here oh ohio the winchester caramel festival okay when's that it is adams county ohio

looks like it's just in a church oh hell yeah nice oh oh yeah yeah this, this one's the spot. Do they have any videos up? Nope. When is the Caramel Festival? It's just at someone's house. Yeah, I need Steven. Maybe we just make our own? Should we make our own caramel and have him? Oh, you bring our own ingredients to a caramel draft and have him try them all?

Caramel Apple Festival. Oh, September 14th. Where is this? Caramel apples are different. Yeah. Those are apples. I don't like those. They hurt my teeth.

Tuttle Orchards? That's right. Indiana. Hell yeah. Is that place called Mount Comfort? Sure is, yeah. That sounds awesome. Why?

I don't know. Mount Comfort. Like a mountain full of mattresses. That's pretty cool. Couches. That's what it would be. That's fucking sweet as hell. Fuck yeah.

You thought it was going to be stupid at first. I did for a split second. I'm going to shut you down quick. I'll admit when I'm wrong. TJ, is this just, what were you just doing? Is that just foreplay for him to play GeoGuessr? Because now I want him to. Yeah, me too.

That was just, you just got, you just fluffed us. Just moving around the map. Yeah, you just fluffed us. Is that what you, did you subconsciously? You got me hard. Pull it up, TJ. You got me too. That was just, you just got, you just fluffed us. You just moved around the map. Yeah, you just fluffed us. Is that what you, did you subconsciously? You got me hard. Pull it up, TJ. You got me hard. You got me hard for GeoGuessr.

I liked having stakes on it last time. Like, Clemmer had to go to that state. What are we doing here? Clemmer has to go to that state. Or is this where Kyle has to go if the Jets lose by two touchdowns? The Jets lose by 21. 21, which I think they will. What?

I have to go to this state. Okay. You have to go to that state and bring us back an unlabeled caramel. Yeah. But we won't tell you where to find it. Right. Is this a chance to get it? Wait.

When the first one Shay gets. Yeah. You have to go to this Well then I automatically Have to go I'd rather him If he gets Two in a row Two in a row

I have to go to the second one That's true Okay Hold on before you do that Pardon My Cheesesteak Football's finally back Ordering Pardon My Cheesesteak For your game day meal

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dessert try our new donut dippers delicious donut holes toast tossed in cinnamon sugar and served with a rich caramel sauce look at that that's perfect yeah we were talking about possibly misjustice taking a shit in the men's bathroom. What's up with you, Brandon?

What about? That says men right there. It says women. And what are you doing? What the hell? Okay, we're all men here, right? Yep. So during the act, when we go to the men's bathroom over here, often the custodian is

cleaning the men's bathroom. That is true. Not that often. No, pretty much every day. Every day? Every day she cleans it at this time, which is fine. So it's either double back and go all the way across the office and go that one. Which is what Kyle just did, I think.

Or. That one's the same distance. But that wasn't during the act. This was during the act. This happened just a second think. Or, that one's the same distance. But that wasn't during the yak. This was during the yak. This happened just a second ago. Oh, that happened just a second ago. Yeah, when I went to the bathroom, and Paige was over there by the bar. I said, Paige, will you watch the hallway? I'm gonna, first of all,

Paige, will you go in there and see if there's any women in there? She said yes. She went in there. There was no women. I said, will you please watch while I go pee? And she said yes. And then she turned on me and shot me coming out of the she got you she did she did me a favor and then red-handed she can she got brandon uh take shits in the women's bath that was a pee i went and peed y'all know no look how your look how your shirt is that was a shit no you sit down or do you oh you had to have women's bathroom yeah you have to sit down and pee yeah um i agree the shirt does look damaged

but it's still it's still looking like that now i just tucked itself in that's a shit shirt yeah the evidence is stacked against you no it was a quick pee, and I went in, and Paige, who, again, watched the door for me, then turned on me and took a shot of me coming out. I do that probably once a week. Go to that bathroom while... Your defense is it's not that bad. I actually do this all the time.

Your honor. I'll give you a deal. I've done this many a time. That women's bathroom is not often visited by our women no no it's full remember yeah it's a storage room i had to do the jacob had a had a uh a clicker i noticed you guys put the wheelchair in there after the wilcompton museum thing is that where it ended up thank you well we have to shit amongst wilcompton memorabilia now absolutely that's fine you're right

it is fun to show people that museum somebody came in here Friday afternoon and I got to show them yeah it's a thrill who else has a museum

in a bathroom it's exciting I want some more care movies alright Steven if you get two in a row the second one I have 14 plus.

Are we all taking something? We'll have to go there? Yeah. Wait. Should we all take something that's rare but believable? What, based on the game tonight or just in general? We can do that. The game tonight.

Okay. I'll do two defensive touchdowns. Okay. Kyle Juszczyk scores, and I'll go to the second one. Pump block. Two defensive touchdowns? Aaron Rodgers season ending injury. I'm going to go two Kyle Ushek scores.

I'm going to go... I'll do a Kyle Ushek score and a defensive touchdown. I'm going season ending injury. I'll go Ricky Pearsall scores. There's no way he's playing. He got shot by a gun bullet. I know that. People aren't talking about it.

Through his chest. A gun bullet. In his chest. There's no way he's playing. I know. So why are you taking that? Because it's rare. He wants it to be rare, yeah.

I just wanted to talk about it and shed light on the fact that that's happening. All right, I'll take Jerry Rice's touchdown. Well, no. There's no chance he plays. There's no chance Ricky Pearsall plays. He got shot by a gun bullet. I just wanted people to talk about it because I feel like he deserves some credit for surviving that incident. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Also, just give up your watch, I guess. Yeah. It was over a Rolex? Yeah. Did he have time to, like, reason with the guy? I don't know.

I think he just was like, no, fuck this. I'm tougher than you. And then gun bullet. It's always like a teen. It's terrifying. Yeah. I forgot to say, last night when I was going home from after we taped pmt i pulled up on uh like a live dudes doing the fucking wheelies and shit oh wow oh yeah donuts no no cars yeah at a stop at a

intersection yeah it's pretty crazy doing wheelies or uh donuts like burnout that's scary yeah did you get out of there fast Or No the cops came Almost like As I was pulling up And they just hit their lights And everyone left

Was it cool It was cool Did you turn your hat backwards I kind of wanted to get out I kind of wanted to get out Yeah Answer the question dad I didn't

Fuck I forgot to do that Yeah It was cool That's the whole thing I don't really have anything else besides that it was just cool to see in person i'd love to see that yeah i've never i've never been close to that and then it was like whoa what if i just hopped in with my car

brandon's car? Yeah. Mm-hmm. People give him a shit for that copy of the car. My friends from Minnesota, they call it, doing donuts, they call it whipping shitties. No, they don't call it that. Yeah, they do. Yeah, that sounds like hockey-ish. Whipping shitties. Is it like your shitty car that you're doing it in? I don't know, but they always just say whipping shitties.

I don't know. Is it that popular in Minnesota? I guess so. Maybe I've been lied to. Can you look it up? Do they do it on ice lakes up there? I bet that'd be cool. Oh.

But it sounds cool. There it is. The fence of Whippin' Shitties. Whippin' Shitties. Yeah, Minnesotans. Well, well, well. Oh, so that's just doing donuts. Yeah, it's doing donuts.

Whippin' Shitties. It's saying Letterkenny or something. Yeah, but my friends call it that. We have some weird sayings in the South for things, but Whippin' Shitties is They're just like, whipping shitties. We have some weird sayings in the South for things, but whipping shitties is way up there for- Kind of fun.

It's pretty awesome. You want to go whip some shitties? Whipping shitties. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Just when you put it like that. Yeah.

So we're just fucking whipping shitties, right? Yeah. The story starts like that. That's awesome. That's an awesome story. Yeah, you're like sitting around on a Friday night,

nothing to do. You're like, you want to just go whip some shitties at the Walmart? Yeah, but then when you find out it's just donuts, it's an awesome story. Yeah, you're like sitting around on a Friday night, nothing to do. You're like, you want to just go whip some shitties at the Walmart? Then when you find out it's just donuts, it's kind of disappointing. It feels like there's a little more than just- It's always like when there's- Whipping shitties.

The parking lot's icy. Yeah. You're going crazy. There's got to be a lady who's done whipping shitties with big titties. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's hot. Oh, that's hot.

Wow. A seatbelt. Whipping shitties. That sounds like something that would be in my Instagram. And then you just give a random pick. Big Teddy shitty whip. All right, Che, you going to guess? Well, wait, Titus, in this game, what would happen?

I'll take weather delay. That's a good one. I haven't looked at the forecast, but if it gets so bad, they got to pause the game. Give me a 3TD Jets win. I'd say if the national anthem is going to be more than one person, it'll be multiple people singing.

Whoa. Okay. I like that. I feel like we can find that out. I don't know if they're showing the anthem, though. Have they been showing them on the regular? Yes, I can't lose. They might show.

Okay, under- Monday Night Football, they might show it. Yeah, maybe. Under 100 passing yards for Aaron Rodgers. Whoa. Okay, all right. Under 100, wow. Yeah, wow. Only good quarterbacks do that.

Yeah. I don't know if that's a thing. That's tough. It's not that tough. It can be done. Trick question. What quarterback led week one in rushing attempts? Is it a trick question?

How would it be a trick? Is it a trick question? Taysom Hill? Lamar Jackson? Yep. That's not. What? Not what a trick question.

That's what makes it a trick question. Yeah, that's a good one. He's saying that. Oh, fuck. That's true. I guess so. You just got tricked damn i wasn't familiar with your game i'm seeing boys to men will sing the national oh okay let's go to the state monday night i thought if i got it right i said more than one person singing yeah but you said if oh god damn it yeah All right, so it's Kate. It's only three guys. What's the forecast look like, TJ? That's a real bummer.

But I could just be going to Indiana. I feel like in Northern California you don't get weather delays. 73 and sunny right now. Oh, damn. I'll do Kyle Ushek two touchdowns because then I'll just bet it. And we're going to the second state he gets. But he has to get two states in a row for this to be a thing. All right.

Do we have a limit on states he gets to try? Do he have to get two in a row out of ten states? Yeah, I like that. I like basically every state. I don't mind going to a state. I'll do any Buckeye touchdown. I still got to go to Idaho. I'll do any Buckeye touchdown. I still got to go to Idaho. I'll do any Buckeye touchdown, which includes Garrett Wilson,

which is actually very plausible. I would just love a quiet travel day, to be honest. I'm glad I lost that. You bet $1,000 on Kyle Juszczyk to get two touchdowns. You win $120,000. I wouldn't bet it. I bet Luke McCaffrey over two touchdowns yesterday. I thought it would be a cool storyline.

Is he better than his brother? And? He didn't get one. Plus 8,000. Good value. Got to take those odds. Got to take those odds. Okay.

Ready, TJ? All right, so I have to hit two in a row. Two in a row. Which, yeah, that part's not. That's crazier than Kyle Ushak. I don't know. He's been pretty good lately. Two in a row? He's been pretty good lately. In a row. Two in a row. Which, yeah, that part's not. That's crazier than Kyle Ushak. I don't know. He's been pretty good lately. Two in a row?

He's been pretty good lately. In a row? Two in a row out of 10. I give him 20. He'll get it. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez.

That's a big son. Son? That's a huge son. That's his biggest 12 corners. In the mount This kind of is like I feel like this is southwest I mean it could be like Wyoming

Big Sky Is the thing That's a conference Yeah My intuition is saying That this is the southwest Like New Mexico, Texas, Arizona. But this could be, like, I feel like whenever I've guessed that and it's been this, it's been somewhere in here, like even Idaho.

So... A lot of explanation. Six seconds. Let's go... No. Wyoming. Ah! My intuition was...

My initial... I should have stuck with that. Oh, well. All right. Sun threw me off. Ah, ooh. Uh, this tree. He makes a noise regardless. This?

Uh. Oh. Those are groves. These are groves? I don't know, I just said it. Oh, I was thinking it could be wine country, but maybe not. I don't know what these are. My initial thought was Florida, but if there are these things, I thought it was wine country,

but maybe it's not. Yeah, this doesn't look like wine country. You're not saying anything. No. Maybe it is Florida. He's not saying anything. So maybe it is Florida. He's not saying anything. Maybe it is Florida. Yeah!

One. We're on watch. All right. Wait, how do we determine? This will be the state. Kate's going to go. This will be the state. So what is everyone's?

I'm actually kind of hoping for this. I have a Jets three touchdowns victory. I have Kyle Juszczyk touchdown and a defensive touchdown. I have two defensive touchdowns. I think the 49ers will win by 21, so I don't want to do that. I did weather, but then I was kind of spoiled. I'll do no offensive touchdowns. What?

If the whole game is played, there's no offensive touchdown. On both sides? Yeah. I like that. Okay. I'll do a kick return. Just plausible. It could happen.

I like that one. I'm going to actually change mine, too, because I'm just looking for things I can bet. I'm going to do Aaron Rodgers' touchdown and Kyle Ushek's touchdown. Now you're just using it to put in bets. Yeah. Correct. It's no longer using it to put in bets. Yeah. Correct. It's no longer about this.

It's about. Well, I would like to bet it because then I could just go on a full vacation and just be like, I won money. This is my Kyle Ushek, Aaron Rodgers touchdown. Yeah. What are the odds on that? 500 wins, 100,000. Very cool.

See. It's the best. 500 wins, 100,000. Very cool. See? It's the best. Yeah. I think there is a chance. I'm starting to think it might happen. And now I have to. Visualize it perfectly. And now I have to bet it because if it happened and I didn't bet it,

people would be like, well, where's your Kyle Luchek, Aaron Rodgers touchdown bet? You'd have to quit. You'd have to spend all the money on the vacation. Yeah, be a laughingstock of the country. Go to North Dakota and spend $100,000. You like Brewster's Millions? How quickly can I spend $100,000 in North Dakota? Okay.

Here we go, Che. All right. Come on, Che. Oh, my god. Wait a second. Man's indoors. Oh, should be easy. This might be easy.

This might be easy, Jay. This looks like the museum of light or space. Look for signs. This might be easy, Jay. This feels easy DC there are two answers, maybe No, no, how do I get Washington DC? Well? You just click near it right okay? You're going DC Kyle I I believe I've been here which I think it's in DC reallyC. Really? So, yeah, this is a small radius. Wow!

He's been there? You guys have to go to D.C.? Kate, you have to go to D.C.? That's not terrible. That's okay. Yeah, that's great. That's okay. Is that the Museum of Flight?

Yeah. Air and space. Air and space. Why was he inside a building? It's cool. That was weird. We do that sometimes. That's crazy.

All right. Well, that was... We only got to see three states. I do that sometimes. That's crazy. Alright. Well, that was... We only got to see three states. I would have guessed surely North Carolina. We'll just see what your street could be. Keep it going. Hit another street. Keep it going.

Oh, cool. What? Oh, cool. What? Oh, geez. Well, this place obviously gets poor rainfall. Obviously. Or it could just be the winter. It doesn't look like the winter. Why?

Why not? There are no leaves on any trees. Oh, I thought that was a tractor. Oh, wait. Yeah, they got hay bales. They're doing stuff. Oh, man. I'm lost.

Oh, is that a lake? Would that help? Maybe. This is a tough one. This is hard. North Dakota. Stop making noises. Oh, damn.

All right. Kansas. It's a good run. Two pretty good. I guess if you're not inside a building, you don't really know where you are. The building you've been to. That was odd. I'll admit that. Well, as long as you admitted it.

Game clean. You want me to read an ad? Yeah. Football is finally back and ordering Pardon My Cheese Steak for your game day meal or late night eats is the best play call you can make. It's been 10 minutes since he last peed. There's something wrong.

Yeah. Is he peeing again? Yeah, I mean, I guess. He got up and left. And we got to get him that surgery. Should we learn how to do it? Oh, do a home surgery for him? Yeah.

It's just Botox in the back of the throat, right? Yeah, we could do that. Pardon my cheesesteak brings you awesome cheesesteaks and loaded fries. Did we do this one already? Did we? Yeah. Yeah, Big Cat did it because it had the caramel. Oh, that's weird. Y'all could have stopped me before that. I just... I didn't know that.

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Plus Premium terms at NFL.com slash terms. Did you guys know and this is huge, I just learned on the prep sheet, today is the 25th anniversary of the 1999 MTV Movie Awards. Whoa, no way. Why is that important? That's when Spears and Aguilera

slopped around. Really? At the MTV Movie Awards? I don't think it is. Did Madonna sneak in on that kiss too? That was the big kiss was Spears-Madonna. But that wasn't

at the MTV Movie Awards. Oh, sorry. It's MTV Video Music Awards. What happened? That's the type of sheet. Did something big happen? When did Britney Spears have the snake?

That was a big one. I don't remember that one either. Courtney Loves Light. 9-9-9-9 is when the Dreamcast dropped. That's how I remember 9-9-9-9. I thought it was already one either. 9999 is when the Dreamcast dropped. That's how I remember 9999. Is that the worst video game system ever?

No, that system was terrific. The J-Lo dress, that was the Grammys? The green one? Oh, I forgot about that. I just saw a video. That's what made Google Images a thing. Oh, really? They got so many searches.

Whoa, what are we doing? What are you eating? What are we doing? What are you eating? What is this? I tried to order caramel. A puppy chow cookie? I accidentally ordered salted caramel ice cream.

And cookies? Well, I threw in a cookie for myself. Puppy chow cookie? That looks good. That's a really good cookie. I feel like that dress wouldn't turn a single head today Let me see it It's nothing

Yeah you're right But people thought it was like super hot It was like scandalous Oh yeah 99 Cause the back was real low too I think Low back yeah I think that was the dress that invented boob tape Oh

Boob tape was around, wasn't it? No. Not like that. That was a really good cookie. Holy shit. That's a good cookie, yeah. Where from? My favorite dessert.

Got some grocer? They make a really good chicken sandwich. That needed to be said. No. You're eating clean? Yep. Me too. You still are?

No, I stopped. Lots of baking soda. You've still been having baking soda breakfast? I've been on omeprazole and baking soda. What's omeprazole? That's my acid reflux medication. Is it working? Both are working.

How do you eat? My body feels so good. I don't know if it's the baking soda. Did you just put the baking soda in water? Yeah. You're still doing that? Did you shit everywhere again? Yeah.

Got my bowels moving like a military brat. It really just makes you erupt. But as soon as you erupt, it feels so good. But again, I don't know if it's the meprazole or the baking soda i keep asking myself that that's why i need everyone's moving like a military brat try two teaspoons of baking soda with water wait let me stop you right there no do you erupt i'm not going to no you're telling when i did four teaspoons is that's when i really erupted. Two is just a nice, nice exchange. What kind of eruption are we talking about?

It's like you get it out of your system fast, easy, smooth. It feels fine. It doesn't hurt. It's not painful. You've been hogging. Kyle, you're basically like, hey, guys, try this thing that will make you shit violently. No, for me, I'm going to shit regardless in the morning. It just makes it quicker and more efficient and smoother. And I feel great moves along the product is a military brat liquefied

It's pretty liquid. Yeah Why are you doing that why we willingly get diarrhea I was there My dad was at the 1984 VMS He just texted me Who cares Who fucking cares Nobody fucking cares Cool story Tim

Big Cat if you and Kyle switch lifestyles Who would go crazy first Him Oh me with his schedule Like just his Eating habits I wouldn't be able to do what he does Him. Oh, me with his schedule? Like just his eating habits, his sleeping habits. I wouldn't be able to do what he does. His work schedule, all of it.

I think I could do what Kyle does for like two weeks. I don't think you could do two weeks. Yeah. Then I'd be like, this sucks. Give me some pizza. But I think if he did one Sunday, he would be like, I want to kill myself. Any given day that you have. Yeah.

I would not be able to do. Yeah. Yesterday we did like Raising Cane's Chinese pizza. Oh, you're talking about diet wise. Yeah. And then sleep. No. I'm talking about all your work.

Oh. Yeah. Talking. Yeah. Too much talking. It's a lot of time. It's really impressive. I've become a mute in social settings.

I don't know what to talk about. Doing this show makes me not talk once I get out of the office. No, I don't talk. I said what I had to say. Yeah. I have nothing else to say. I went to a parent-teacher thing the other day, and people were trying to have conversations.

Yeah. Just kind of look at them and like, eh. Yeah. My son picked rocks as a thing he loves. Every other kid had like friends, like family and like, you know, pets. Rocks. For like a guest? No, it was like a sheet that it felt like, I'm this year's old.

I want to do this when I grow up. The thing I love the most, and literally every kid was like, mommy and daddy, my dog rocks my son just chew purple rocks purple rocks purple rocks are you taking home rocks on walks like he does yeah i have to like pat him down did you guys have a rock face never did i did i used to hit rocks a lot with a baseball bat that's how i entertained myself for hours your dad used to hit rocks too, right? Yeah. Yeah. That was later at night though. But I would just pick up rocks and I would always like the round rocks

and you had to really search for them. So I would first collect the rocks, put them in a bucket, and then hit them. Yeah. I was never a rock guy. I liked rocks. I was a rock guy.

I was rocks. I was penny. I was coins. How many? Stacking them? Just like finding old, I had the booklets, old pennies. Two caramels worth of pennies? Were you like Rain Manny as a kid?

He was like memorizing numbers. No. Okay. Just the presidents. You were a president's guy too? Kindergarten. You do all the presidents? In order, yeah.

At six years old? You can? Five. Give them to us. I don't know them anymore. What? I don't care. You know who can do that?

You know who can fucking name every president in order? That motherfucker. Look at him. Oh. I can see you doing that. That motherfucker right there. Do it without a song. Yeah, do it jingle-less.

Washington, Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Madison. doing that motherfucker right there do it without a song yeah do a jingle list washington adams uh thomas jefferson madison monroe adams jackson put some emotion into it no uh harrison tyler paul taylor philmore pierce buchanan lincoln johnson grant wait oh lincoln was not grant after Pierce, Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson, Grant. Wait. Oh, Lincoln was not Grant after? It was Johnson? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.

Buchanan, Lincoln, Johnson, Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, Cleveland. Again, McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Grant. Oh, no. Not Grant. Yeah, that's right. Nixon. Nixon. oh no not grant not yeah nixon kennedy johnson nixon ford carter reagan bush clinton uh fucking other bush fucking send it out probably obama after that definitely and then is it fucking trump biden would that be well

trump trump if you believe trump trump slash biden yeah so how do i do it pretty close that was spot on i think you nailed it that's crazy you could do that at five years old yeah that's your parlor trick that's like just memorizing every day yeah that was something that I was taught like in elementary school and just like stuck with. I would eat on the president's placemat. Yeah. So that helped. I don't know how long. I don't know if I'll keep that up.

Like as I get older and. No, you have it now. If we keep, if you keep doing this like once every six months, maybe. Yeah. So Chase had a reminder for six months. Six months from now. Can I remember all the presidents? Yeah, we'll have Titus do it again. I'm not good at... I can't memorize

anything. Can't do memorization, can't do languages, can't do math. But you can make up with that with other skills. Thanks, Kyle. I can't build. Cute as a button. Thank you. So where, where like the Pokemon knowledge

well that was just something I liked and it's not really knowledge memorize it it just kinda like happened it's like watching

football and you're just like know the players you just know the players yeah but I wouldn't I'm not even

knowledgeable in that I don't think I'm at the top tier of any field what is the top tier top I'm not ranked I'm not in the top thousand of anything it's hard to be so hard ten five thousand that's even difficult it's hard to be at the top tier

of something that nerds have grabbed a hold of that what will make what makes them nerds is that they're in the top tier i suppose i suppose you're right but brandon you're the number one college football personality that's true i am yeah and somebody else gave me that title i didn't give it to myself kb i know this is a rant of yours but i just i was thinking of it after week one of the nfl that speaking of being like the top of your field that like all these quarterbacks they stink they all fucking stay i'll definitively stink and it's crazy to think. It's crazy to think that if you're like the 15th best quarterback in the entire fucking world, you're ass. They're looking for your replacement.

You're so bad. You are so bad. You are clowned everywhere you go in public. Unanimously disrespected. Yeah. Your name evokes laughter amongst the public. Experts in the sport you play despise you. They don't think you're worth anything.

You're the 15th best in the world. You're the 15th best in the world at what you do. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, people are like, Kirk Cousins, what a career. No. And he's been an above average quarterback for a long time and made hundreds of millions of dollars.

Everyone's like, psh. Bum. Yeah, check down. Yeah, watching yesterday, that was really being driven home. There's a lot of bad quarterback play. I mean, Deshaun Watson doesn't want to play football anymore. Yeah. He's going to fake an injury.

Yeah. We also were saying on PMT, like, Deshaun Watson, everyone knows what Deshaun Watson's done off the field. I think he might be so bad at football that he is now a better football player than he – or better person than he is football player. Yeah. Which is crazy to say because we always joke like the – there's nothing that drives me more insane when like J.J. Watt retires.

Everyone's like as good of a football player he was, he's a better person. It's like no, that's not true. He's one of the top like 20 football players of all time. There's no way he's a top 20 human. That's just not true. But Deshaun Watson might be a better human than football player at this point. Yeah. He's a bad human.

Yeah. He is. But I think he's that bad at football. They lost Fanta. Did you see they lost Fanta? Fanta's ticked off. Wait, what happened? Oh, I know.

He's ticked off. The Browns lost Fanta. Oh, my God. That was an incredible video. Oh, did he put out a video of him? Oh, he's ticked off. He's ticked off? I mean, he's ticked off.

But did he ever say specifically that he's ticked off? Oh, he said he's ticked off. I'm ticked off beyond belief. But then he said it even in the video. You would not even believe how... Panther could make a video about anything and I'd watch it a hundred times. It looks like Rico and a dude combined. The only thing that's nice...

Oh, my God. Yeah, he does. Look at that face. I fucking love that face. The only thing that's nice right now is the sun that's shining. It shouldn't be. That was utterly embarrassing. Pathetic, disgraceful, shameful.

You gave that guy under center $230 million fully guaranteed. $230 million fully guaranteed. $230 million. Fully guaranteed. He's not great. He's not good. He's not even average. Right now, I put him on par with Bryce Young or Daniel Jones. He can go stand in line with them.

Rip the Band-Aid off before it's too late. Because the rest of that locker room knows it. Deshaun Watson's done. That first half against Dallas was an utter joke. I'm tired of hearing about rust. I'm tired of hearing excuses. I'm tired of hearing that the two-time NFL coach of the year, it's all his fault. Folks, he can't play.

It ain't happening. He's except reality. I'm ticked. Awesome. That was a good rant. He can't play. I love Fanta. It ain't happening.

It's so awesome that Baker's playing great. Yeah. Except for the Che factor. Yeah. That is a little – it's tough. It makes it tougher. It's a problem. Che factor is a brutal thing.

Was he the best quarterback this week? Yeah. Yeah. He was. Probably, right? Four touchdowns. Darnold. 100-1 MVP.

Yeah, Darnold was good. Yeah, Che is – he's maddening to watch football with. Yeah. Did you get like a tingle when you saw his first first down signal of the year, Chase? There was just one moment that was driving me nuts. It was like a penalty on his team, and we were watching the replay of the penalty on his team, and he's like, it might be on them. I was just like, dude, what are you?

Someone pointed to the other team, so I was like, maybe. It was hands to the face. It was a Bucs player just putting his hand inside of a Commander's player's helmet, and Che said out loud, it might be on them. It's just how he's wired. He's how he's wired. I don't want him to change.

No. Because Rumpy Cumless Che was a dickhead. Yeah, that's true. That was a bad era. That was the worst week we've ever had. That was tough. Yeah. Tough few days. He was a real asshole.

Yeah, I didn't like the man he was. How did Jaded Daniels play? I didn't watch. Pretty good. I mean, not great. He had three fumbles. Did he have fumbles? How many fumbles did he have?

Did he fumble a lot? One of them. The first one was like up behind. Not really. Yeah. No, he was good. He didn't throwumble a lot? The first one was behind. Not really. Yeah. No, he was good. He didn't throw any touchdown passes, but he ran for two. Oh, really?

Yeah, Mincy hit a boost. What? That's Mincy's job now. Every time you're watching a game, he comes in and tells you the boost he has. Never seen anyone have as many boosts as he's got. He's got a boost for every fucking like any play happens on Sunday. He's like, oh, one more and I got the boost. What?

I know what you're talking about. I'm sure there are people at home that don't. I don't know what I'm talking about. Is that like an odds? It's on drafting. I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know how he gets so many boosts. It's like an odds boost, but I don't understand where they come from. He just has boosts

he just says he's got a boost for every play doesn't part of you want boosts as well I don't know where you'd get the boosts but he's got so many boosts guys just gotta boost he's starting to get annoying man

when you're watching the game with him and the leg is about to hit or very close to hitting He's starting to get annoying, man. When you're watching the game with him and the leg is about to hit or very close to hitting, he will say he has it with the odds, with the boost. With boost. So it seems. But the guy doesn't. He's got bottomless boosts. Yeah. I need to find boost.

You got to get the boost. Get his plug. He has a boost plug? He must. Oh, my God. Again, I don't know how a man to get the boost. Get his plug. He has a boost plug? He must. Oh, my God. Again, I don't know how a man has as many boosts as he has. He's got like a dude in Slidell, I think, that sells boosts. Yeah, right.

He's getting off-market boosts. Like, how many times did you hear the word boost from him yesterday? Che, what would you say? At least a dozen? No, almost 30. There you go. Boost! Bring the boost.

Boost. It's not a bet, it's a boost. He's just like, yeah, I don't know, I got all these boosts. I don't fucking know how he does it. And it's every big play in random player. It's like, oh, if he gets three more yards, boost. The fuck? That's got to be an exhausting process. it's like oh if he gets three more yards boost oh fuck that's gonna be an exhausting process oh it's there like listen i love watching in the gambling

cave but yeah there's if you're an outsider and you had to sit with us i i think it'd be a form of torture with like everything that's going on by outside you mean anybody watching anybody yeah it could be the cast of characters we have and like the conversations that are constantly going on yeah there's a torture element did he hit any of these boosts yeah a couple good good so I think he gets

some more boosts that's how it works boosts oh That's how it works. It's just boosts. Oh, what? Dawson. He got yelled at by Dave. What?

Yeah. What did he do? He was cheering while we were watching Thursday Night Football, but he was in another room and it was like 10 seconds faster. Oh, that was him? Yeah. And then he came into my office on Friday morning, looked like he had not slept a second. I was like, is Dave still mad?

It's like, there's no way he even remembers. Mm-hmm. Oh. Poor Dawson. Poor Dawson. But not really. Yeah. It seems like he's got everything going on for him.

He's a quiet guy. Yeah. Except for when he's cheering. Mm-hmm. You sent people to the other room? No, he was in the other room. Oh, okay. He was in the other room oh he was like 10 seconds ahead of us screaming and then we'd be like what just happened that would i think that would that's okay to be like a little annoyed with oh absolutely like a spoiler it's very annoying yeah, to be like, oh, some big play's about to happen because we heard someone yelling.

Did you do the DraftKings ad? I did. Brandon, you sent me a video this weekend. Oh. I did. I did. It was Tommy's been working on some stunt work. Oh.

Stunt work? He's gotten pretty fucking good. Oh. Tommy's been working on some stunt work. He's tryingunt work? He's gotten pretty fucking good. Oh. Tommy's been working on some stunt work. He's trying to break into the acting game. And TJ, I sent it to the Mostly Sports group. It was that video. Stunt man is so very obviously his career.

We see it? I think it could. Yeah, yeah. He'll show it. As soon as TJ gets it up, we can show it to you. He looks like he had a growth spurt, too. Oh, hell yeah. He's tall, yeah.

Yeah. All right, for today's Tommy Walker Minute, Tommy said that he's been training on something and he's been working on his fake getting shot. I told you to hurry it up. Bang. Oh! That was good.

Yeah, it was good. He nailed that. He fell perfectly. He nailed that. Straight back, too. Do you, like, hear him practicing? No, but when I'm watching football on Saturday, the window is low to the ground,

and it'll go from feet to his face. And I see his feet. I know he's out there. And then all of a sudden, he's looking in, and I knew he was practicing something. Can we get, for tomorrow, can we give a few weapons that he can die from other than guns? Yeah, I saw a sword.

I was thinking about taking one of the swords home. I would love to see a cannonball blast. Yeah, let's see, grenade. Oh, yeah, grenade. Okay. I mean, we could do that. I could just request that now. Does he have, does he need to practice?

Oh, he's at school. I forgot. It's not summer anymore. All right, so just write. Yeah. Have you been seeing him? Oh, yeah. I've seen him a little bit more. The first week of school, I didn't see's at school. I forgot. It's not summer anymore. All right, so just write. Yeah. Have you been seeing him? Oh, yeah. I've seen him a little bit more.

The first week of school, I didn't see him at all. Yeah, but he's not been going to sleep early? No, he went to sleep early last night. I got him to bed early last night. I think he's growing. Yeah. He might be growing. Mm-hmm.

And just took two Ambien, and he went right to sleep. Holy shit. I just realized, like, what if in, like, two years from now, Tommy Walker's, like, 6'5"? Yeah. That would be crazy. That happens a lot. I know. Especially with the genetics he has.

He's 14 now. When did you get over 6 feet? Between 15 and 16, I went from, like, 5'11 to 6'5". Oh, my God. That's crazy. 6'5", Tommy Walker would rule. Whoa. I don't think he's going to be my big one.

I think the other ones behind him are going to be my big ones, but I don't know how big he'll get. He doesn't have big features or anything. What's going on with the – Hands and stuff. What's going on with maybe the girlfriend flying out? So he came to me yesterday and he said, yeah, my girlfriend and her dad will come out here.

So they're doing the long distance thing. Well, yeah. I said, really? They're going to come all the way out here? He said, Dad, we've been together two months. I was like, that's not long. And yeah, so apparently they're going to fly out or drive out in the summer. So I figure by the summer it will have fizzled.

I won't have to worry about it. Oh, next summer. Yeah. Yeah. Lock that. Yeah. Tell them, yeah. I told them, yeah.

I'll tell them, whatever you need. And, next summer. Yeah. Yeah, lock that. Yeah, tell him yeah. I told him yeah. I'll tell him whatever you need. And so that's what they got going on right now. But, yeah, he's something. He's been working on his stunt work. I like it. So 14, he's, like, always tired and hungry. And sleeping. That's – I remember that.

That was tough. Yeah, that's – Is he getting mean at all, or is he or is he rolling his eyes at what you say? No, he hasn't done that yet. He hasn't started to get smart-alecky or anything like that. But he will when I – he's very sharp and observant when I'm like, Tommy, you need to be more active. You need to get outside.

Well, you don't. Oh. Yeah, but he doesn't see you walking. Yeah, he doesn't see me walking in here. But we've been going to get outside. Well, you don't. Oh. Yeah, but he doesn't see you walking. Yeah, he doesn't see me walking in here. But we've been going to the gym. We went to the gym yesterday. And we had, I don't know what you call this machine where you sit down and you pull it down like this.

Lat pull? Yeah. You pull it down like that. And I had it on 150 or 170 or something like that. No. No, you didn't. Okay. I had it on 130, 110.

130, 110. Whatever I had it on. Okay. I had on 130, 110. 130, 110. Whatever I had it on. Whatever I had it on. He sat down and I said, all right, I'll pull it down for you. And he just went straight up. He just got his arms almost jerked off. But you sure? Maybe.

For reps? Okay. Hold on. My shoulder thing, that's 130. My bench press is 130. Oof. No, it's not a bench press. It's the bench press machine.

Oh, that's even oofier. I'm not trying to kill myself. I'm just trying to. And then my push-downs is a lot. My push-downs is a lot. Push-downs? Yeah. Oh, the forearm? Tricep push-downs. Triceps, yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. Push-downs? Yeah. Oh, the forearm?

Tricep push-downs. Tricep, yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. Kyle, did you see the guy break the record for pull-ups? I feel like there's always a dude trying. Yes, that sounds possible. The Rough and Rowdy guy had the Guinness record for push-ups in a day. Ninja?

No, pull-ups. This guy had a pull-up record. Jonathan from Survivor? Look at his hands. Yeah. Most pull-ups in 24 hours. Pro Call of Duty player. Oh, he's a gamer?

That doesn't seem fair. Why? Looks like Prince Charles. This is the guy, remember the gamer that was dating the hot weather girl that he dumped to pursue gaming? No. Can we see the hot weather girls so that we can jog our memory?

At what point did weather girls just become hot as fuck? I don't think 30 years ago they were this hot. At some point, hot women decided weather girl was a real career path and they do it a lot. You realize that you didn't need anybody

to actually decipher the weather. You just needed someone to read it a lot. You realize that you didn't need anybody to actually decipher the weather. You just needed someone to read it to you. Yeah. Progamer dumps West... Oh. Okay. I don't remember this, but she is... 23-year-old revealed that he and Garcia split up

saying, I don't have time for our girlfriend. Huh. And now... Wow. Okay. I would have had time. I would have made time i would have made it i wouldn't need much time yeah and now he's doing this he is pretty jacked tj what are the things you just sent me which one both okay all right Which one? Both. Okay. All right.

Aaron Rodgers' Enigma new documentary series coming December 17th. Okay. We'll watch. You won't watch that? I'm watching the Vets, McMahon. And then breaking the Chicago office to be streaming the Dolphins game this Thursday night instead of the NYC office system. Oh, boy.

We always stream the Thursday night game, but okay. Dolphins are being streamed Thursday in Chicago. Nicky Smokes has it. What do you think? Well, they're a loss. What do you think is the difference in Nicky Smokes being a fan of the Dolphins to you? I bring more passion, more energy.

I mean, Chicago wants everything. It's just how it goes. But Frank, what if the Dolphins win now on Thursday? They're not going to. They gave up on the season on drive-in. Do you have anything to do with Chicago getting a stream? Yeah. He looks great, by the way.

Yeah. It's okay. I'm going to party tonight. And then next year, the Dolphins are not going to play a game until we've landed on Mars. It's 49-29. And the Dolphins are finally going to play a game. He's on Mars? And the Dolphins, oh, they can't play a game. He can have it if he wants.

We've been doing Thursday night streams, but I have no problem. I got so used to those, and now I'm not anymore. It's like I reverted. It's outside looking in. I felt proud of Nicky Smokes for standing up for the season ticket holders. Is that what he did? No, it's not my team. Yeah.

Even on this rant, I ended up watching the whole thing, and I was like, good for him. They only send out a postcard now. That's it? That's it. Asking for you to upgrade. I give him one college bet a week. That's all he asked for. Yeah.

It's hit all three weeks, and he just texts me he loves me every Saturday night. I like that. That's cool. That's a good relationship. Who does that? Nicky Smokes. Texts you I love you? i gave him uh vanderbilt two weeks ago i gave him illinois money line this week and he just texts i love you at like nine o'clock on saturday night and that's the extent of our relationship that i need you need

do you have anything tonight kyle no i uh i'll still put something in That nothing I think will happen Like Tyler Conklin And Brandon Ayuk There we go PFT said he's getting hair plugs huh Yep

Really Put that out there He is Are plugs and like the transplant The same thing I don't know No he's I think it's

It's the same thing that Dave did He's got the little Circle on top of his head, so he's getting some of his hair pushed back there. Okay. He's got his hair right here. Oh, yeah. They need some. That's one of my favorite pictures.

That's an amazing picture. Look how drunk you are, big cat. That is such a huge chunk of hair. With scissors. Sharp scissors. There is such a huge chunk of hair. With scissors. Sharp scissors. There is so much hair in this. I'm not even going to pull it out. It needs to stay in.

No, we're going to sell that, right? Yeah. We should get a shelf for cool items like that. PFE's hair. I mean, if you look deeper into the machine, it's like so deep in there. There's so much hair inside of it. We need shelving.

Yeah. Or we don't. Who knows? No, I'd like shelves. Hey, did Malasek ever hear back from that girl, the napkin girl? I don't know. I would also like to know. Yeah? Should we beckon?

Malasek! All right. Wait, what? I wasn't here. So Malasek went out to a bar one night, and a girl was leaving. She walked up to him, handed him a napkin, said, here's my number. You're cute. The next move is yours.

And so he came and told us that story on the app, and we said, then he wrote something, hey, what's up, on that napkin and sent it back to her. And that's the last we've heard. We don't have an update on the napkin gal. Yeah. So you got propositions. Yeah. We're rooting for him. Hard. I don't think he's interested.

I'm rooting for her. Yeah. He's a great catch. He's hard to get into that sort of thing. He just doesn't care. Hey, Malsec. That sort of thing being women. Correct. And not just dudes. What happened to just doesn't care. Yeah. Hey, Malsec. That sort of thing being women. Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not just dudes.

Yeah. What happened to, with Napkin Girl? Not much. Act uncomfortable if you fucked her silly. Fucked up. No, you're never fucking. Yeah, man.

Hell yeah. I knew you had it. Don't fuck up. Hell yeah, buddy. This dude. This dude. This dude. Are you kidding me, dude?

Did you meet up with her? No, I haven't seen her since. I've been busy. I've been doing stuff. Working. All right, well, you got to just transcribe the text. No, we just were shooting the shit i asked her for a play in the lsu florida state oh my god or a usc game why she was watching

it what did she respond to the picture uh she thought hey napkin boy or something yeah no we chatted she seemed like a nice girl so what are you guys gonna do i don't know where do you want to put it you guys are bad people name your top three spots you put it where you want to put in any particular order we're not gonna put you on pressure we're not gonna put we're not gonna make it weird no order creepy thing to say where you want to put it mount rushworth where you want to put it okay that's good that's good all right so you guys are still actively texting or no it's been a little bit ah it's dead it's no time like the present it's dead and you killed it on your own well i mean it was a mutual i killed it yeah you it's a mutual you killed it i killed it i killed it on your own. Well, I mean, it was a mutual. I killed it. Yeah. It's a mutual.

You killed it. Mutual. I killed it. Mal, a sec. Yeah. I'm going to give you two options. All right. Sex with the hottest woman you've ever seen.

Next. Or Virginia football wins the next three weeks. Next three weeks? Yeah. Oh, the woman one. Next six weeks. It's 8-0. Yeah.

And that's Notre Dame and Clemson? Yeah. That one. Okay. 8-0. I think that's notre dame and clemson yeah that one okay eight no i think that's fine eight no would be fucking awesome eight no would be great you're right yeah i honestly feel like malice like has a better chance of having sex with the hottest woman than virginia going eight no so that's a smart thanks it's a smart answer. Yeah, I think you choose that one and then try with the other one still. There's one you can kind of... 8-0 is good. Correct, yeah. Agreed.

We would be the talk of the town. The whole country. Not just the town. Probably won't happen, though. No, definitely not. Who do you play this week? Maryland. Big game.

Not really. Rivalry? Yeah. Not even at all. Rivalry? Yeah. Not even at all. Rivalry. Okay. Mr. College. What's it called?

What's the rivalry called? Something. Who are the ranked rivals? VT, North Carolina, Maryland? Tech, UNC, Duke, Maryland. Wow. I just don't think you have that many rivals. Four rivals for Virginia football program.

Yeah. Yeah. That's UNC. Yeah. There you go. That's UNC. Yeah. Wow. Well, don't they call Auburn, Georgia the South's oldest rivalry? It says right there. We've had this conversation before, you and I.

Do you count Virginia as the South's oldest rivalry? They might call it the Deep South. Who's the hottest woman you've ever seen? Huh? The hottest woman you've ever seen. Seen in person? Mm-hmm. I feel like that's a bad way to phrase it.

Probably someone who's not a celebrity. Right. Be careful. There was a co-pilot for Atlantic Southeast Airlines. Whoa. So it was a dude? In 2001, we called her Homewrecker, and she was blonde. She was about six feet tall.

Oh. She was something. Wait. blonde she was about six feet tall she was oh she was something wait wasn't there a time when we were in lsu and you saw a woman and you didn't alert me fast enough possibly why i remember being mad at you in the car yeah yeah he literally was like whoa and like what well that should have been the alert and i was yeah but it was too Well that should have been the alert. Yeah but it was too late. That should have been the alert. Do we need a signal or something?

Am I allowed to just hit you? What did you say you used to do? Like snaps? Snaps. Snaps yeah. Me and my buddy used to do this. Like the Quentin Richardson. Dunk on your head. The blockers.

If we were at the bar we'd just look like that. Kate what traveling carnival did you find the hottest man you've ever seen? I was just sitting here thinking about it. Our signal was... Who's the hottest? I don't know who. Because that was the way you phrased the question, Brandon, was the hottest woman I've ever seen,

not the hottest woman in the world. But seen like... Could be online, I guess. Oh, okay. So not... I assume you've seen a very hot woman, though. In my life. Yeah. But in person versus like girl of my dream it was just a question it wasn't I wasn't I was thinking about that you think there'll be like a day that it will like snap for you and

you'll be like maybe I am interested in women yeah it'll be too late yeah it'll happen wait do you not date I don't know the full malicec deal you don't be out with a sexual you don't know yeah I wouldn't say you don't like that you don't date you don't I the full malicek deal. He'd rather be out with his dudes. Asexual. We don't know, yeah. I wouldn't say asexual. You don't date. You don't... I would say that I have put myself in a situation where my standards are ridiculously high. Got it.

And that, in turn, has made me basically, I'm going to say, involuntarily celibate. However, that's the phrase that I don't want to use. Is malicek a shorter term for that? That's a mouthful. You know when someone says they're working on themselves and they're not dating right now, and it's always bullshit, they're just like...

Bad timing. Malsec's like, for real, though. What's a deal breaker? He's like, I'm just working on myself. What's a deal breaker for you that's crazy? He's just been working on himself. A deal breaker for me that's crazy? Most guys wouldn't deal break over a deal.

It's not that there's a specific specific thing it's usually I'm just like I'm never I'm never usually just like it's just not worth the trouble the trouble I mean all right I'm gonna right there I'm gonna say a few things you say if it's a deal breaker or not okay

she only calls songs tunes oh I love this tune i don't care but that's fine drive me insane i don't care about those things those things like that don't bother me the red flag list like that doesn't bother me really really picky eater she calls her boobs the girls in okay she's stunning that's hilarious but she has like a hammer toe those things don't bother me it's more just. What about if you found a woman, you loved her, you got engaged, and then she on her Instagram caption said, so we did a thing. That's bad.

I mean, that's. Yeah, call it off. Again, these things are not what the issue is. It's more of like, I will go on a date with a girl for a couple of dates. And then after a couple of dates, I will be like. She's ugly as fuck. No, it's just like, I just. as fuck so you do that yeah I go on dates I interact with women

all the time that happens and you're like flailing your hands that was the same tone as like I'm not racist I have a black sure exact same tone I interact, I'm not racist. I have a black. Sure. Yeah, it was. Exact same tone.

I interact. I know I have my mom. On a day-to-day basis. I have multiple aunts. I interact with women. I am not anti-approaching women. I do that every so often. I am not anti-going to get a drink or going out on a date with a girl.

But after a couple of dates, normally then i'm like and i i'm done why do you always make that noise and i'm not even it's not even like oh i've known every time is it before or after they say where you want to put it right like is it is it before after it's not even that like i'll i will do something with the girl once and i'll be like yeah yeah yeah i don't understand after like i'm not trying to get crass will you like hook up a little bit no i won't even do that i'll just like go hang out with them like i i know this isn't even like in the realm of what i'm looking for so i'm just done what are you looking what i don't know even in the room but i know what it's not not in the realm in the realm so i know what i'm'm not looking for, and if that's what it is, I'm out.

What are you? What does Jakey want? I don't know, but I know I'll know what I know. If that makes sense. You don't know that. I will know I know what I know. Serious girlfriend or bust? Yes.

But it's not bust. You never choose bust. You never bust. I always say, I hate when people say this or bust. Because that's a great second option. Yeah, I'll take bust. Cooperstown or bust. Yeah, every single time I'm taking bust. Yeah, I want to fuck.

You want to go one and seven? So, I don't know. Yeah. This is me. All right, Godspeed, Madison. Can we do a dating show with you? Yeah, I'm interested in... There we go. This is me. All right. Godspeed, Malison. Can we do a dating show with you? Yeah. I'm interested in...

There we go. I know. I know. Ridiculously high standards in women. They're not men. Yeah. That's... The women...

Not in the same realm. These women. Not in the same realm would be... That's crazy. The realm is... The man. That's crazy. Not in a gay way, but you have gone on record.

You much prefer a night with the boys than any night with a woman, correct? You guys got it. Well, again, if there was a woman out there, I'm sure she exists, that is the woman of my dreams who I find and I will love and cherish forever. But you've given no trace. Start a family with and love her and hold her and do all those things forever. A night with her sounds lovely. But you're not giving this woman

a starting point. No, I am. I am. I absolutely am. I'm not avoiding women. What are boxes you want checked? Again, I don't know if there's a list of things that I'm looking for, but I just know that I go Are you doing a dating show with him? That's what we should do. I know there are, I've gone on

dates with women and after I interact with him for an hour, I'm like, I know this isn't gonna go where I want it to go. So give us an example of the last time this happened. I went on a date with a girl in New York Can we do a dating show with you? I went on a date with a girl, I took a girl to a Knicks game once in New York, which was a dumb idea and we were- Why? That's a fine

idea. It's too long of a thing, it was like a second date, it's way too long. Two hours! It's too long of a thing. It was like a second date. It's way too long. It's too long of a thing where if you don't really know the girl that well, you're kind of stuck there until the end of the game. I agree, yeah. In the second quarter, she looked at me and she was like, this looks really hard. And I was like, what the fuck do you mean? And she's like, this looks really hard to do.

She was talking about playing in the NBA. And immediately, I was like- That's as fine a thing as that? She's making small talk. I'm out. I can't do this anymore. You fucking freak. No, I was like, I's a fine thing to say. I'm out. I can't do this anymore. You fucking freak. No, I was like, I can't do this.

He's making small talk. Oh, no. They bashed you. By the way, Mal, where was that picture taken, the first one? The asexual? That was my freshman year lacrosse roster photo

at Trinity College. Got it. So, so I mean it is hard to play I understand but it was one of those comments or that it was just I'm out she's trying to get you I was like what's the thought process why are you out ever since ever since that I was like I'm why why can't do it why because dumb comment that's my that's my number one deal breaker is dumb I can't do that so you're dumb no but not in that way so you want to date somebody you want. No, but not in that way. So you want to date somebody that's outside of that realm. So you want to date somebody that knows a ton about sports,

is a good hang. Yep. Has a dick. Yeah. Kind of is a guy's girl. Muscular. Yeah. There's a dog. We should do a... Have you ever been jealous of any of A-Rod's girlfriends?

He's dated some very muscular women. Mm-hmm. Has he? Yeah. What about Roger Clemens and his wife? Picture them with the steroids at the pool. You're like, damn, that's a hot one. I like girls.

I want that on the record. Yeah. I like girls. You haven't exhibited any ability to actually like them that's not true give us an example of a woman outside family and work who you really admire did you have a social media crush

you could get us all with that one a girl on social media what's the last girls post you've liked on Instagram let me see your for You page real quick. It's chicks. Is it chicks? Oh, yeah. Let me get the vibe.

My For You page or my Explore page? Explore page. Yeah. Let's see. Yeah, it's chicks. Mine's titties and wrestling. Mine isn't. I don't think I have any.

Top water bass fishing. Mine's cats and babies. That's your whole life, Kate. I know. Actually, there's no chicks on here oh well I figured oops what is on there

that's not gay though so what's on there uh Dave alright some football stuff some hockey stuff some lacrosse stuff

okay and some movie scenes fellas she's a 10 but she thinks playing in the nba is hard it wasn't the it was the way that she said it she like couldn't wrap her brain around how like people did that like she was just discovering basketball yeah i was out couldn't do it let's get some resumes sent in okay uh they can be guys or girls I want you to pick out five, and we'll see what you end up with. Okay. Blind resume.

Blind resume. I like it. That's good. You're an enigma. I'm just trying to be myself. Yeah, you should stop. No, he should keep being himself. Someone out there is for me.

I know that they exist. You think so? They're out there. You know what's terrible? He's using a lot of- She is out there. He's out there. That so they're out there you know what's you know it's terrible he's using a lot of he's out there that lovely girl is out there so you know what's scary to think about though jake you may have already met her yeah maybe and you didn't give her a chance didn't even give her a chance maybe she passed me by she appreciated the nba skill that she saw

just so you know like we're very open to whatever lifestyle you choose but it is very funny that you are just gonna like go your entire 20s without realizing you're gay. I would tell you. Whoops. I would tell you guys right now if I was gay. Are you gay? I'm open to being open.

I'm not gay, but I would tell you all. I would be very open about it. The thing is like- I think you're being honest. I think you just accidentally have not been able to- He doesn't know it yet. He doesn't know it at all. Okay.

You haven't gotten there yet. I think one it it's okay you have like i haven't gotten there yet i think it's one day it's gonna be an epiphany be like oh you're gonna have the easiest coming out because you're the last one to know yeah right okay you're gonna tell us like yeah no we know be a surprise you're the only one it's cool dude yeah we've been accepting of you this whole time you only need to come out to yourself. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah.

When it clicks, it's going to be incredible. You're a catch, Malasek. That's the thing. I would say that until the cows come home. Yeah. You know how to play the guitar. Good looking guy.

Together dog. Talented at his job. Great eyebrows. Seems like a loyal guy too. I am. Oh, cute as the day is long. You wouldn't have to worry about it. No, Malasek will cheat.

Nope. Good guy. No, because think about it. If he finds his one, like the work it's going to go through to find that one, he would never try to find another one. He's not going to want to do that again. He is like the, although girls kind of like, don't they like a bad boy who might cheat? Yeah.

He's not a bad boy. I don't think girls like guys that might cheat. I don't know, K. Accidentally. Yeah, right. Like the, you don't want to cheat her, but. There is a thrill to knowing like, are they going to leave me soon? Yeah, right.

I don't understand that at all. I don't get that at all. That confuses me. Well, you don't want a guy who's like, he's so safe he would never. Right. Or that he doesn't have other options. Right.

Exactly. Right, because if he has no other options, you're the option. That's kind of a shitty feeling. If other women aren't into him, why am I? Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Whoever you choose is going to feel so special that you did it. You chose her, man. She's going to be a catch. She's a lucky girl. She is. Whoever you're watching, I mean, with the way you're going, she might not even be born yet. Because you might be like 50 before you find your one

think about that yeah how old are you 25 damn dude so if you don't find your wife to your 50 find a 25 year old uh wife she's not born right now you're kind of running a little bit you're like an old soul with high standards and an old dog maybe like older future wife isn't born yet yeah or maybe she's like 65 that's that's wild that's a lot of dudes yeah 50 to 25 i've seen way worse yeah good for them good for them leo you're gonna find someone miles I'm not worried about it. Can we help you? Yeah, I mean, feel free, but I'm not worried about myself.

Che, can you take some resumes? We'll take the names off. We'll blind rank the resumes. I love the idea of us going through the resumes, and we each pick the one that stands out to us, and then we pitch that person without him knowing who it is. We pitch that person to him, and he has to choose. Shark tank. Like, shark, yeah like sure yeah yeah yeah all right oh if you're an interested candidate dm me on twitter love it for jake malzack now che

be on your best behavior yeah they're for j. These people are DMing the horniest man alive right now. Why you? Big Head just asked me to do it. I didn't. Somebody did. Yeah, I agree. Do we want something from them, like a resume almost to pitch to him? We are doing, just so we set the table, we're doing a dating show for Malasek.

Yeah. And all candidates are sending all their information to the horniest guy we got right now. Who's literally on a jerk-off spree. He's going as fast as he can. He might jerk off to one of the resumes. That's what I'm saying. It's a bet. That's okay.

Jerking off to text is depraved. He could. I don't know. Arizona State, 17. I'm't know. Arizona State. Actually. 17. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Arizona State 17.

That's it. That's all you need. That's a sexy string. Arizona State 17, Kappa Kappa Gamma. Done. Done. What's the least amount of words you could jerk off to? This is almost like for sale baby shoes never worn,

but it's like what's the hottest, shortest sentence? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Florida State. Yeah. Oh. Would you do long distance or is that out? I always wondered the long, I feel like long distance you have to start

in the same place though, no? Online, you could start chatting somebody up and kind of. I was going to announce I'm getting catfished calling for someone. She's a 10, but she's not real. That would be funny if you're in catfish. I got Manti-Tayode. Well, no, you got catfish and you show up and it's like 300 pound black dude.

You're like, well, I'm already here. Yeah. We did. We did have a lot of mutual interests. Done. Malasek, all right, you're the best. All right. Truly.

We love you. Maybe hit up Napkin Girl. Nah. Shit. It's over. Just like that. Because I told him, I was like, I'm rooting for you, and we won't talk about it.

And then he just told me the other day, he's like, yeah, it's dead. I could see that coming. Yeah. Really? Yeah, I could tell he wasn't about it. He wasn't about it. He was never about it. Goddamn.

What a flexo to have. We'll get him. Girl, give you her number. I couldn't imagine. That shit doesn't happen in real life. That's a rom-com shit. Malasek death, I'm weeping on my knees. I love Jake Malasek.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd cry. He's a great guy. McCarthy, I would be like, okay. Who's covering Gamblin'? You'd like pause the podcast you're listening to, but then finish it. Turn it down a little.

Oh, turn down the volume. turn that down mccarthy's dead turning down the volume just a little a little like a half of a like half an ear pot take one oh my god okay all right cool put it back in that's so disrespectful But yeah I can see that happening Turn down the volume Alright good Do you want to do the high noon and then we'll spin the wheel

Yeah Now I'm in a New York Chicago battle with Frank the Tank That was made out of nowhere What's happening now I don't know I want it very much on the record. I do not care.

If they want to do the stream, they can do the stream. I will happily watch the game at home. We've always done Thursday night streams. Oh, now they're streaming it. Great. I don't care. Awesome. All right. Cool. Frank was't care. Awesome. All right.

Cool. Frank was just being a baby about it, I'll say it. It was. It was. It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the High Noon End Zone Pack is here. It includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit.

The High Noon End Zone Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, but not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find your next tailgate pack near you. High Noon. I don't know if I've ever had the cranberry High Noon. It's delicious. Yeah? Yep.

I figured as much. Very crisp. It's got to be. Hmm. Hmm. And with the holidays coming up, that a classic little cranberry mix it with a little seven up that's good come on now that's good let's get that wheel spinning oh you got quick picks yes All right, buddy. Oh. Shit. Shit.

Didn't this just happen on Thursday? Okay. Sorry, Titus. God damn it. Now, a sec. Was there anyone else who was on? Nope. Fuck.

Fuck, dude. That was it. Let's just get Max Nope. Fuck. Fuck, dude. That was it? Let's just get Max here real quick. Is he even here? He's got to be smarter than that now, right? No. No. Yeah, I saw him a second ago.

He might be watching the cave. Oh, no. Oh, shit. He might not be watching. Hey, can you come here real quick? I had a question about Malasek. Oh, see? Oh, shit. He might not be watching. Hey, can you come here real quick? I got a question about Malasek. Oh, see? Just a media.

Is that like a wrapper of a hamburger? Oh, no way. Did he see? No, he's fine. It might not be on there. It was on. What did he crumple? Shh, shh, shh.

So, did you see Malasek on here? Come here. Sit down. Did you see Malasek on here? Come here, sit down. Did you see Malasek on the show? Are you boys with Malasek? Are you watching? Yeah. You're boys with Malasek?

I started watching like 10 minutes ago. Okay. All right, great. Max on the wet wheel. You just missed it. It just hit wet on the screen. Why does it not trigger your mind that you could be tricked here? The end of the show.

You should just ignore texts. Where are you going, buddy? You're on the wheel. See it out. Are we doing it now? Now a sec. He wasn't over there. Where'd he go?

He's probably back getting ready for Quick Picks. Oh. That was too easy. I mean, I wasn't like watching. I was like, I don't know. Oh, my God. Hall of Fame episode from Walker. Whatever.

It's not going to be me anyway. No, it's not going to be you. No. Oh, Brandon, look at you. Oh Brandon look so He is a beast areas. He's getting ready for quick fix. Yeah, I Don't know how that's it's just it's just I don't know I just know it's one of my favorites All right, all right trick. Yeah, you're coming and sitting down Doesn't take much

I just did it It was tough to watch It wasn't really a trick It was just It's just you stood up I think if you had stayed For two more seconds You would have seen wet

And realized not to come in Probably Max did you see Do you have anything to say to Che? Oh about him being an idiot about Saquon Barkley? Whatever you want to say. That video's hilarious. I don't have my headphones on.

Is he saying anything? No. It's always me. I want to do the bottom two. It's always me. It's a thrill. Jake, have you had to get wet? Always me. Oh, that's a shame. Because I thought it was going to's always me. It's a thrill. Jake, have you had to get wet? Always me.

Oh, that's a shame. Because I thought it was going to be always me. You seem disappointed, Dan. I'm really upset. I'm long overdue. I never get wet. Who's the last person to get wet? Me. What the fuck? That's crazy. It works.

Yeah, you just got to be resigned to it, Max, and then it will take you away What did you just do over there? Took your shoes off. Oh geez Max take your shoes off my shoes off back. See you Jake your shoes off. You're like. Oh, it's gonna be me That's what you got to do the wheel nose sent you way off. Oh No, oh no, I was way too much shit. Oh no, Max. Oh no, Max. Oh no, Max. I was talking way too much shit. Oh no, Max.

Do you have any piss in you? You're wearing very funny pants. Yeah, it's a funny outfit. And you want to get... You want to get four. You want to see your name. Okay. This is bullshit.

It is. It is complete bullshit. Mean complete bullshit mean even yeah that's one for z one nothing you he literally called you in here for no reason just to do this i thought it was going to be a shit on malice act thing and i would have loved that i could see where you would want all right you don't have to pee yourself. That's huge. What? If you get swept. What? If you get swept, you have to piss yourself. No, we said you don't have to piss yourself. You should be excited. You should be thanking us.

Yeah, I didn't know that was on the table. You should be thanking us. Did you mishear him? That might be one of the funniest things to say unprompted to somebody. You don't have to piss yourself. Two, two. It's always seven. It's seven every time. It is. That might be one of the funniest things to say unprompted to somebody. You don't have to pitch yourself. 2-2. It's always 7. It's literally 7 every time.

It is. I thought I was going to win in 6 here. I know. Everything that I've said has gone in. Oh, big 3-2 lead. Wow. Huge. She's got to win one of these last two.

It doesn't mean anything. It's going to go 7. Don't go seven. It's going to go seven. It goes seven every time. Oh, no. You're fine. Now it's going to be me.

No, it's not. You already won. Yeah, Max, you're fine. You're fine. At least for today. Yes, Max. There you go. I like the thrill.

See, being in the bottom two, you get a little bit of juice. It's nice. And you get the win of just being a down-for-anything guy. Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Zah, go get yourself wet. Ever seen a wet Zimbabwean? Zah once. Yeah. Last time he got wet. Yeah. Last time he got wet. But that's it.

I should expand my horizons. All right. Thanks, guys. See you, Max. See you, Max. Good job, Max. he got wet. But that's it. I should expand my horizons. Alright, thanks guys. See you, Max. Thanks for joining. He's a good kid. He tickles me. He tickles me. He tickles me.

I like the crop of boys around this office. Good kids. We've got some good kids around. Some really good kids. Good group. Who else we got? I love football season, too. It reminds me.

Throughout the summer, I forgot where everybody's from, what their allegiances are now. It's so fun. It's all popping up. Everybody's wearing their gear. The Youngstown Bob tweet. What did he say? No, the old one i love it oh yeah

fans from fans from different i forget it oh i've never seen it who always retweets it a bar and call i love going to you can find sports bars in new york city fans of every team. Fans from all. It's the wording. I saw Rutledge walk by in his Lions jersey. That's right. Die hard. It's not something I have on the forefront of my mind. And then you see him wearing the Lions jersey. New York City bars are such a fun place to watch college football. Fans from every school.

Everybody loves that. And Quigs will quote tweet that every year. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Vans from every school. Which actually is not fun. It's way more fun to be at a bar where everyone's rooting for one thing. Yeah.

That's the vibe. I don't know where to watch West Virginia around here. There's got to be a West Virginia bar. Couldn't find one. What? I made a reservation at a place, and I went there, and I didn't even walk in because it ended up being an Iowa bar, and it was so crowded. Every bar is an Iowa bar. Every bar is an Iowa bar.

Every bar in Chicago is an Iowa bar. Yeah. Everyone. Everywhere. Even the old, there was a Madison bar that I used to go to, and then it stopped being a Madison bar and became an Iowa bar. Yeah. I don't know how it happened. West Virginia Mountaineer bars.

Which one did you go to? I didn't go to Old Town Poorhouse. That sounds about right. What if you started one? What if you were like, hey, I'm going to be here. Barstool River North is the West Virginia you go. Is the West Virginia bar. Yeah, that's what I'm seeing.

Poorhouse. And Old Town Poorhouse and Theory Sports. Theory Sports. Okay. On Hubbard. Did West Virginia, who did they play this weekend? Albany. Big game.

Yeah. Oh, look at him. Oh, boy. Oh, he's shuffling. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's wet as Yeah. Oh, look at him. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's wet as fuck. Look at that. That's a wet... Oh, yeah. Dreads. Yep. Great job.

Surrounded by tech. Oh, that was great. He just dog washed us. All right. See you tomorrow. All right. All right.

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All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. all right. all right. Thank you. Have a good week, everybody. Love you. See you later. Bye.