The Yak - Mark Couldn't Be More Ready for the Trick-or-Treaters | The Yak 10-31-23

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

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20% off your first purchase. Where the fuck is Kyle? Where is KB? I don't know. Were you guys directing that towards me? Yeah, well, you are his caretaker. You are responsible for everything he does. You know, on the org chart, it says that. No. Were you guys directing that towards me? Yeah, well, you are his... You're his caretaker. You are responsible for everything he does.

You know, on the org chart, it says that. Soot face and everything. That was not on me. Speak of the devil. There he is. Do you want to close the door? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Saw little abs popped out. Do you see the pack?

No, I saw the side things. I saw some pack. You have those side bumps. I saw a little pack. I saw some pack. Let me see little pack. I saw some pack. Let's see a little more pack. Climb over. Yeah.

No one's faking a six pack. Trust me, this shit is impossible. You'll get there. Oh, is that why you're fasting? You want a six pack? Tangible goal. Happy Halloween guys Yeah happy Halloween Mark

Mark's been reading the comments Oh shit You got into that Yeah Like you weren't wearing that 20 minutes ago No I was dressed like

Davos Swinney This was the Halloween costume I'm wearing tonight For the trick-or-treaters I'm not trick-or-treating i just feel like being festive as you're handing out candy feels like the right move yeah are those hands able to hand out candy it's a great question i don't know where there's only four fingers for some reason which finger do you have that no so i i know i

know nothing about the cat in the hat other than it's a cat that wears a hat um and i i needed a halloween costume i went to a vintage shop and this like whole suit was like 15 bucks and it was like my size so i was like i guess i'm the cat in the hat now and then uh i debated whether i would be the only one dress i so i i was preparing for today and i was like, I guess I'm the cat in the hat now. And then I debated whether I would be the only one. So I was preparing for today and I was like, all right, so on the yak, are we going to wear costumes or not? I didn't think I should ask anybody. And I thought it could go either way, but it would be way funnier if I was the only one who did. Yeah, that's where we're at.

I have a firefighter's outfit in my car that I'm going to put on when I go pick up my son from school because he's a fireman. So I thought that would be cool. Nice. I guess I have one. Nobody in this office is dressed up. It's a podcast. We don't do physical humor. Like getting wet or mousetraps or drinking gross stuff.

Oh, that would be a shame if you got a mousetrap today. Oh, yeah. What a twist. What a twist. If you got that thing wet. Dr. Seuss was a bad guy, right? Was he a Nazi? Ooh, might be. You keep asking Dr. Seuss questions as if guy, right? Was he a Nazi? Might be.

You keep asking Dr. Seuss questions as if you don't know the answer to them. Teddy Geisel? Is Teddy short for Theodore? Yeah, you've been asking Seuss questions for 30 minutes. Tedworth. Ted Word. I think his wife had cancer

and he was like, I gotta divorce her. This is gross. Unless I'm confusing with somebody else. The old, what was that guy's name? Somebody else did that recently. Ran for president. John Edwards. John Edwards. Maybe I'm confusing Dr. Seuss with John Edwards.

John Edwards. He was next up for a minute. Yeah. He was the next JFK. That was like that point in time. There's like being handsome is really good for a presidential campaign. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. And then we've gone the absolute opposite. we got some fucking uggas yeah some corpses quigs quigs posted the uh trump halloween handing out the candy still one of the funniest clips on the minion head when he put it on the head and it just slid right off great moments in presidential history yeah it's. And the paper towel toss when he was in Costa Rica. Yeah. Shoot into like a basketball. Yeah.

Well, I mean, Gavin Newsom just like hugging a little Chinese boy. Smack dab in the middle of China. Look at this. Put it right on there. She doesn't see. Follows the lead. And there it goes. He has a bag.

He could have very easily put it in. That's how, like, he's funny. Yeah. No, that was funny. That was very funny. The little minion. Give the candy to a minion. And here you go.

I live in an apartment building with families. Should I put a bowl of candy outside of my door? Yeah. Okay. And some razor blades. Yeah, I might just do loose candy. Has that ever happened, by the way? Had to happen once.

I thought it was a hoax. I thought the OG story was a hoax. Because it was, I mean, like... But were there copycats of the OG story? Surely there was one somewhere. There had to be one somewhere. I don't want to believe we just made the myth up entirely.

That feels like a parent trick that they did when, like, my parents used to check the candy. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even think. Yeah, and they're like, oh, this one, we don't know. They would take out the ones that were no brand or weird ones. How do you check the candy?

Just make sure the wrapper's not open? No, they would just dump it out, and they would go through it. Yeah, they'd make sure wrappers aren't open, and they'd definitely eat them. Yeah, they're just eating it, though. The whole... Poisoned candy myths. Poisoned candy myths and urban legends

about malevolent strangers intentionally hiding poisons, drugs, or sharp objects such as razor blades and candy. Yeah, like, what... If you were to do this, you wouldn't even get the benefit of watching the children die. Right, and I think that's the whole reason you do it.

Right. No cases of stranger killing or permanently injuring children this way have been proven. Yeah. Okay, so... And that wouldn't even... If I bit into a razor,

that wouldn't... That would maybe hurt my gums. It would hurt. I think it would hurt. I think you're now asking us, you want us to put something... You want us to put a razor in some of your food? Yeah, I think it would just. I think you're now asking us, you want us to put something, you want to put a razor in some of your food? Yeah, I think it would just hurt my teeth.

No, man. No, that would fuck you up. It would puncture my, it would cut your tongue. You swallowed it. Oh, I don't want to think about that. What if you like actually bit into the razor, like with its shoulder side up? It wouldn't have the force.

That's making like my asshole pulse. What if it went, whoa, what if it went between your teeth? What if it went between your teeth? What if it went between your teeth? Stop saying these things. Yeah, that would require somewhat like a force. No, you bite down. You're biting his force. Nah, it would just be stuck in the middle of a baby root.

Floss your gums. I don't think it would hurt like crazy. It wouldn't be debilitating. Bro, I eat a candy bar with force. Yeah. Yeah, me too. I'm like an alligator. It would be some stuck-ass razor stuck in chocolate.

Razors are sharp as fuck. Razors are not fun, dude. What was the original myth? Wasn't it an apple? Candy apple? Candy apple. They slipped the razor in. How would they even do that?

I think that would be the easier one to do. Yeah, well, no, but you see it. No, because you dip it in caramel. Hey. Hmm. All right. easier one to do yeah well no but you see it no i'm gonna get a razor caramel hey all right wasn't the new thing like passing out edibles like yeah there's drugs in the candy just getting like a eight-year-old high as fuck well that's a lot more pleasant to think about that's funnier it's awesome it also makes me like i kind of want to do it now because i don't know like i don't like myths that aren't they have zero factual basis there's not yeah no you could you could probably get away with it if

you did it someone would call the cops and they'd be like a guy put razor blades in in our apple and the cops would be like that's just a myth yeah that's not true you know i don't i'm you could get away with strongholding this theory i think should try it with a pit bull or something. A pit bull would die. A razor in a pit bull? No, in a piece of food. I don't think it would hurt. I think you might get in more trouble for hurting a dog than you would a kid. Kyle, I think that's true.

Kyle, I think you need to eat a razor. You're talking a tough game. That's what I'm saying. You're talking crazy right now. No, dude. That would be awful. You'd die. A razor? No. I bet you. You'd die. Like a razor.

No. I bet you one of these construction workers has a razor. Guaranteed. Can you go see? I'm going to be on a team. We can't feed Kyle a razor. No, I don't want to. Connor Griffin, can you find us a razor in the office?

Oh, I don't even want to. We're going to put it in an uncrustable. It would have to be perfectly vertical. You don't know. No. Your body is like a maze. It's going to cut you up, dude. You're talking about swallowing it?

Yeah, you could. Oh, no. I wouldn't recognize it's a razor. That's a risk. With one bite. Oh, that's something sharp and metal. Spit it out. You're actually kind of swaying me.

I think when you purse your lips to spit it out, it's going to cut you all the way out. I would never swallow it. You're kind of swaying me. I would immediately recognize that it's not a hand. lips to spit it out i would never i would never swallow it you're kind of i would immediate immediately recognize you're too easily i'm on kyle's this is a foreign object it's a child yeah you just bite it like metal right there's no real way to test this because you're going to know the razors in it yeah and child has to are tiny. You're going to have to get me in like two years. In the next calendar year,

I will slip a razor into something that Kyle's eating. Deal. And you can't get mad. Big cat deal. You can't get mad. I can't get mad. I accept those terms. Yeah, it's fine.

Right. Okay. Are we good? Yes. Okay. That'll be fun. But yeah, I think that I'm not a fan of these myths that don't have, like, I want there to be some factual basis.

It's like when Barry Bonds was doing steroids, everyone's like, oh, the kids are going to start doing steroids. And then I started doing steroids because I was like, well, someone's got to do steroids and be impressionable. And I did it. You did? Yeah. It didn't work. You did? Yeah. It didn't work.

For how long? Like a month and a half. Yeah, no, I didn't lift. I would do like 20 push-ups while I played MVP Baseball on PlayStation. It's the best. It's the best. And then I was like, why have I not gotten stronger? What a soundtrack.

Did you feel better? No. I just had a little rash on my side. It was the cream. Feidelberg said he was like rock solid always. Really? Yeah. That must feel awesome.

Yeah, he said it was just constant. Steroids must feel so good. I think, isn't Bert on a bunch of testosterone now? I think so. He looks good. No, not for a steroid user. Pretty fucking shitty. Yeah, he looks

fat. Yeah, I guess he looks good for fat. He looks good for what? For fat. He is a strong fat guy. He's gone from fat, American fat, to Russian fat. Yeah. to Russian fat.

Yeah. Because Russian fat is strength. Yeah, they're strong as fuck. Yeah. Which actually is not bad. And then you can get American strength, which is not fat. That's how it goes. That's not fat, yes. It goes American fat, Russian strong, which is fat, to American American strong which is not fat

thin thick I feel like there's got to be more dots in there alright so fill it in I can't I don't know how where do sumo wrestlers there's British frail because they're pasty

they look like me it actually might be fat, Samoan fat, which is the most strength you can have. That's a terrific fat. Then Russian fat. Then American strong.

Yeah, that's fair. Brandon doesn't like it. Figure it out, Brandon. I feel like we're going from fat to strong too fast that's all I don't know how to

fill in the gaps I don't know how to fill in the gaps but I think we're going from fat to strong very quickly who would you rather fight

a okay yeah so Samoan Samoan fat is probably yeah that's the peak of strength a fat Samoan is the coolest person you can be

and also like insanely strong yeah that's the peak of strength. A fat Samoan is the coolest person you can be. And also, like, insanely strong. Yeah. That's fair. I wish I was Samoan. Actually, skinny Samoans are pretty awesome, too. I like the fat ones. I can't think of a skinny Samoan.

The Usos. They're still fit. Oh, my God, that's not skinny. Well, not skinny, but they're not fat. No. And they were skinny a while ago. Are Samoans the coolest people? I think Samoans are very, very high up there.

And where is Samoa? It's in America. It's the American Samoans. Yeah, it's out there. Does it count other islands? There is a nation called Samoa, and then there's an American Samoa. So the one that produces all the football players, they only have like probably seven

high schools total. How many people live there? Not a lot. I think their number one export is offensive linemen. These pro football players, they had to just play in scrimmages. Oh, shit. It's far out there.

Wait, and that's ours? Mook, you should stop there on your way. How did we get that? How did we get that? I could fit that in. How did we get that? Man, we're some motherfuckers. When did we get Samoa? That's ours.

We are some devious motherfuckers. No. BG's not ours. To the right. To the right. Samoa is ours. And when did we get that? Oh, I forget about Tonga.

I think we own... Do we own Tonga, too? No, Tonga. Okay. We don't got Tonga. So we own some of... We scooped up that. We scoop. Okay. Tonga. So we own some of. We scooped up that. We scooped up Northern Mariana.

So we only got American Samoa. What's so good about our island? Why don't we get that one? It's closer to us. How do we get American Samoa? Was it a trade? Sign and trade? Did we take it in the war?

Yeah, did we take it in World War II? Did we R&P? I love it. What was the Bikini Atoll? That's where we bombed some testing. We got that shit, right? But there's no people on it. No, because it's all nuclear.

The Midway Islands. I don't know. Look it up. Huh. What's an atoll? A lot of islands. I think it's a little island. I think it's a real little island.

Yeah. All right. Nikki smokes some islands. Yeah. That made me laugh really hard yesterday. He was upset. He was upset and he also ran with it well when he took that picture of him in his sink. Did he ever realize

that... He never looked down at where the tape measure started. It was legit though, wasn't it? No, it was legit. Okay. He trusted you. He trusted me.

Was the rumor that the Ovaltine kid died from Pop Rocks and Coke? So that was another myth. Okay. I don't know if it was the Ovaltine. I thought it was the Ovaltine. It's a scary movie, right? I thought the Ovaltine kid died somehow, and it was a myth. I just always heard that...

Didn't something fucked up happen to the Life Cereal kid? Something fucked up happened to the girl that voiced Ducky in Land Before Time. Oh, yeah, that's right. What happened to Ducky? That one's true. Sheucky in Land Before Time. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, Ducky died in a fire. She was killed by her father. Oh, yeah, it was Benoit. All right, this is, wait, in 1899, after years of civil war, the islands of Samoan archipelago were divided.

The Germans taking the islands to the west, Americans taking the islands to the east, now known as American Samoa. Now, did we start that civil war? No. Us? Not us. How did we get involved we were just over there okay just yeah happened to be protecting yeah the smone civil war between 1886 and 1894 was centered around whether come on malatau lapopo or Matafa Lacefo I was a Matafa guy should be king

German military intervened on numerous occasions all while tensions existed between the Germans and the US as both wanted to further their interests in Samoa okay

so we got ourselves involved in that when Lepopo died the second Samoa sounds like Germany was popping off over there and we had to go check them

yeah we basically were playing risk everywhere yeah Sounds like Germany was popping off over there. And we had to check them. Yeah. We basically were playing risk everywhere. Yeah. So the football players and the Usos are American Samoa or Samoa? American Samoa, I believe. So do you also get some from Samoa, Samoa? Yeah, I think so.

Because those islands are very close. Look up Samoans in the NFL. Are the cultures wildly different? They're so close. They can't be wildly different. They could be. Look up Samoans in the NFL. Are the cultures wildly different? What if the... They're so close. They can't be wildly different. They could be. Look at South Korea and North Korea. America, Samoa is the badass island. And the Samoa...

We got the good one. Are the pussies. I bet that's right. The skinny ones, yeah. I don't know. I know on American Samoa, it'll have English shit. American shit like fast food. We should attack Samoa.

But I don't know what Samoa is. We should. Let's take Samoa. What's the point of having American Samoa when Samoa is sitting right there? And then we can just call American Samoa Samoa. Yeah, we could take over Samoa and just keep the name. Just make it the 51st state. How did those cookies become Samoas?

Those are... Oh. Wait, are they Samoas? Aren't they? I thought so. They're Samoas. I'm not talking about s'mores. I'm talking about Samoas. I believe they're called Caramel Delights now. Oh, they changed the name. Oh, so it's problematic? There's like two factories that make Girl Scout cookies, so that's why the names are different

in different places. Can I share a parenting hack with you guys? Yeah. Buy all your daughter's cookies? Aldi sells Girl Scout cookies year-round, just branded differently. So if you can't wait until the Girl Scout cookies come out for your caramel delights, Aldi has them.

That's not a parenting fact. Fat guy hat? Yeah. Well, that had nothing to do with parenting. Parenting and fat guy, same thing to me. Brandon, Aldi is a great grocery store. I love Aldi's. Did I say Aldi's?

Did I say it with an S? Talk to him. Talk to the cat. Kroger's? Huh? You said Aldi's. You like Chipotle's? I thought you were going to get them.

He likes Aldi's nuts in his mouth. Oh, shit. I was putting it going to get him. He likes all these nuts in his mouth. There we go. Oh, shit. I was putting it on a platter. Aldi is a great grocery store. TJ has me trained very well to get around those. And they make it so that you can't go back. Have you ever been into an Aldi? It's like a maze.

You walk in, and you have to go buy everything. Do they still do the quarter in the cart, or was that a COVID thing? Did COVID eat that? That might have been just Aldi. Yeah, I know Aldi, but you would put a quarter. No, I'm saying that might have been just an Aldi thing. No, I understand.

It was a cheap grocery store. I was only going to Respex as a kid, and KB was back in my shit. No, you weren't. You were going to Kroger. Bullshit, I grew up in the Kroger. Shitting on my dad's livelihood. I went to Respex. Were you?

Yes. All right. You were my bag boy. But you knew which was better. Kroger was way better. Yeah, it was. I sucked as a kid having to support the family. I'm trying to find out why they changed the name.

What's Respex? Obviously, it's a grocery store. Is it just a little one? Yeah, it's semi-regional. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if it was a chain or just one of them. It extends all the way to Zanesville.

Zanesville? Yeah. You know where know if it was a chain or just one of them. It extends all the way to Zanesville. Zanesville? Yeah. You know where the animals got out? Mm-hmm. That happened yesterday. Yesterday was the 10-year anniversary of that, I think. Was it? Yeah.

That's in Ohio, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. That dude had all these wild animals, set them free, and killed himself. I found a... School closed that day, didn't it? We had the day off that was awesome he just had a whole zoo yeah and he just set him free and then he died did he kill himself all the schools in the

area shut down we had a tiger day yeah because we were like an hour away i know but there were animals just roaming they were lions oh It was a shit ton of them. It was a shit ton too. Yes. Even if you remember the story. Oh, you were probably close. Oh yeah, I lived in Columbus. Even if you remember the story and you remember there being a lot of animals, if you look up how many animals there actually were, you'll still be surprised

at how many fucking animals there were. It was so many. They were herding down the interstate. Yes. Holy. They took over and then the Columbus Zoo still has some of those. Really? At the exhibits? Yeah. TJ, didn't we look this up on Mostly Sports not that long ago?

Yeah, they killed a high majority. How many animals were there, TJ? What the fuck is Mostly Sports? Sounds like you guys weren't talking sports. Was it like a Noah's Ark situation? I think it looked like that At one point Well it was not in a

Very good setting It was Similar to Joe Exotic It was not too long ago On October 18th 2011 Owner Terry Thompson Allegedly set free

50 of his 56 exotic animals Before committing suicide By shooting himself in the head Lions, tigers, bears and wolves Were among the animals 48 animals were killed by local police, while two were presumed eaten by the other animals. Oh, that's so awesome.

The animals confirmed to be dead were 18 Bengal tigers, six black bears, two grizzly bears, two wolves, one macaque monkey, one baboon, three mountain lions, and 17 African lions. 17 African lions. How do you get that many lions? Three leopards, a small grizzly bear, two monkeys were left caged inside Thompson's home. Do you think he had like a dog?

Probably. Nah. I'm sure he threw one in there. 50 out of 50 animals getting killed is pretty impressive. How many? All of them died. Oh, they're all dead? I thought somebody stole the zoo.

48 of them got killed by the police, and two of them were eaten by the other animals that got killed by the police. So the ones in the house were taken to the zoo. So the pussies that stayed, they were locked in the house. Every animal that left died. But then it says at the very last sentence there, one of the surviving leopards was subsequently

injured in an accident at the zoo and was dehumanized. Oh, man. That's one of the worst. Those things had awful lives. zoo. Oh, man. That's a tough one. That's one of the worst. Those things had awful lives. They were everywhere, though. Yeah. They went far.

I don't want to see any grisly footage, but is there footage of them trampling along? Yeah, I would love to just see them out in the Ohio wild. Is that 17 lions? After Katrina hit, one of the things that went through Mississippi, and probably all the south, was the animals in the zoo in New Orleans got out, and there were lion sightings all over Mississippi. It was probably always a hoax, but we were always scared. Like the Ovaltine boy.

We were always scared there were going to be lions and stuff around us. Yeah. Dude, there's a zoo in Lincoln Park, and. And they just have, like, zebras. You can just walk in, too. It's free. How has nobody set them free? I don't think they want to. Yeah.

Yeah, but that would be like a looting situation. Mook, you could do that. I could do that. You can go set them free. Let's go loot the zoo. Yeah. Yeah. Let's let these boys out.

Set them all free. Animals on the loose are awesome. We're due for one of them. We are due. We're due for one of them. We are due. Can we let one go in the office? Well, there's definitely some, there's a shitload of like home zoos that we don't know about.

Yeah. That are like under the radar. Like right now there's, I don't know, 20 guys somewhere in America that just have a shitload of lions and shit. There's some tall ass birds on my ride home, and I don't know if they're native or not. What do you mean?

Storks? Is that a real bird? Tall? Storks are a real bird. That's how babies... That's how Kate had her babies. So when I drive home... That had to have been a strong-ass stork.

You see that thing? Yeah, that baby. Sometimes I cut through Gurnee, and I go through the country, and there's some horse farms and stuff. But on the horse farms, and then off the horse farms, there's these ponds, and there's some horse farms and stuff. And then off the horse farms there's these ponds and there's these birds that stand

like this tall. The emu? They look like emus, but they're a little smaller than emus. But they look like maybe aquatic animals? They're not cranes. They need a picture of them. They're not herons. I don't know what they are. They look like flamingos that are gray. Oh, egrets? Egrets are white, aren't they?

Could they be sad flamingos? they? Really sad flamingos? Could they be flamingos? They could be sad flamingos. Don't they get their color from eating shit? They could be gray flamingos. They blind apply too much soot. They eat shrimp and shit? Yeah, look.

They're not that big. Is it that shit? No, they're not. I don't know. That's what they look like. Ibris? No, they're baby flamingos? Ibis?

No, I can't. Those gray ones in the middle. Why don't you just shoot one and bring it in? Do they look like the plane striders from Mulgore? Wait, they don't look like the plane striders from Mulgore. Okay. That just said that flamingos aren't pink. Fucking wrong. I think Titus was right.

Wrong. They were not from that. They have to eat enough shit to... Yeah, the shrimp. Yeah, right? Don't get it wrong. They were not from that. They have to eat enough shit to... Yeah, the shrimp. Yeah. Shrimp turns them pink. So that would be maybe they're flamingos that haven't eaten shrimp. Well, there's no shrimp in Illinois.

I wouldn't imagine they're up this north, right? I don't know what they are. I don't know what they are. Somebody help me with... Ow. Somebody help me with what they are. They're flamingos in the Lincoln Park Zoo. Are you anywhere near Mogor?

I'm not near Mogor. Are you sure? Red Plains Mesa? No, I'm not near that either. Sounds like you don't know the lay of the land yet. I'm trying to learn the land. Mogor. I've just been focused on high school football.

By the way, we have an update. I think they're saying Hill Cranes. Sand Hill Cranes. Yeah, they're saying Hill Cranes. We have an update. Thanks, Chad. Antioch is in trouble. Okay. Smacked around. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. First

of all, Antioch's in trouble. Carmel's entire coaching staff played for the Bears within the last 10 years. It's just made up of Bears. Oh, really? All the crews are offensive line coach at this high school. Yes. Jason McKee.

Yeah, I can't remember who else is on it. Adam Hogue, who covers the Bears. Yeah, it's going to be tough. Dude, I'm betting Carmel plus 57. Yes, I am. No chance. Yes, I am. I found a bookie.

The Seacoys are ready. I'm fine. The Seacoys are ready. Nick Day is always ready. My boy Aiden Van Alstine is ready. Clayton Horton, he just committed to Wisconsin Whitewater. Oh. That's a good school.

We're ready. And my game is not until Saturday. It's not on Friday night. Saturday day? Saturday at 1 o'clock. They're anticipating a big crowd. They DMed me yesterday and said, I have a seat next to the coach's wife.

The coach's wife? I don't know if that's good or bad. Rasheed Davis is a coach. Yeah, no, Olin Krutz being the coach is the scariest thing in the world. That guy's a bad motherfucker. I say that in a very good way. He better not pop off this Saturday.

What are you going to do? I'll smack him good. I'll smack him good. I promise you right now, if Olin Kruitz pops off to me, I'm smacking him on Saturday. Oh. Oh. We don't have to clip that, but I will. The boys are going to be ready.

The boys are ready. They're not ready for all day day. They're not. Nick day. I'm working on that. Yeah, no, Nick all day day. I'm working on it. I said I'm working on it. Nick all day day. I'm working on it. I said I'm working on it.

Nick all day day. There's also a – Nick good in the morning, also in the day. Yeah. There's a Nick at night thing you can do here. I don't know. Well, no, he's playing it today. Nick day, I don't know.

Nick day. Nick day. That's my boy. Would you take it as a win for you or a loss for you if every time Carmel scores they're like pointing at you and telling them like the guys are jumping

to the end zone like Brandon suck our fucking crap in there you know yeah these high school boys this one's for you Brando you get ice spiced

I think that's a win for me right yeah that's a win I think so yeah I think so definitely you know who you are how many times in your life

have you been bulletin board material? A lot, actually. I bet. Yeah, Oklahoma this year. Brandon's in the locker room. I would love Carmel High School football wins this game. And then the entire, they create a Twitter account just to tweet out.

Yeah, just clips from the act. So back in my sports writing days when I was writing for my local paper, and then after the coach of West Point High School would use me to print fake articles about what the other team is saying. Oh, I love that. And I was providing bulletin board material for that team for like

10 years after the fact. Oh, I love that. I was always making up quotes about, yeah, those boys from West Point, they don't know tough or something like that. Oh, that would piss me the fuck off. It was the dumbest shit I would have to do, but I was doing it for like 10 years. I think that's illegal. Yeah, we should be open to...

That's got to be. Any college teams that need bulletin board material, let us know. I would love to say something. Yeah, we'll just say shit and cape as the other team. If you're a high school coach, tweet us now and we'll say it. Show it to your boys. And then print out a picture of us and have them all smack us in the face. You guys want to pick a random high school matchup this Friday

to get on one side? Yep. Let's go into Ohio. Let's see who Yankton's playing in South Dakota. Pick a good Ohio game. This is really exciting. Yeah, just bolted board, guys. I have a question. Yes?

Yeah. How do I look up high school football schedules? Max Preps. Max Preps. He does it all. I live on there. Max Preps is an oddly addicting website. Huh.

No, no, no. It is. When you start looking at mascots and schedules. Oh, you can look at mascots? You can look at everything. You can look at everything. Max Preps is stupidly addictive, but they do kind of try to charge nowadays. You don't have to pay for that? You'll get into a paywall a little bit more than you should, Maxpreps.

Do you pay? No, I get around it. It's probably not playoff season. In Ohio? Is it? Hey, what happened with, was Connor Stallion in Central, what was that? Central Michigan. Ebo told me today that it looks like it's not him.

It's starting to come out that it might not be him, but if it is him, it's hilarious. I also found out that... That's hilarious. That's the most suspicious-looking person in the world. Whoever it is, it's definitely trying to be in disguise. Also, that whole thing about Ryan Day's brother was made up, kind of.

He does possibly work for an investigative firm, but there's no actual evidence that it was that one. Look at him. They're saying it can't be him because he has hair. Who? Connor Stallions does not have hair. Well, didn't he once have hair? Well, this was this year.

No, this wasn't this year, was it? Oh, this was this year? This was this wasn't this year, was it? Oh, this was this year? Oh, yeah, that was. Friday night. Yeah. Week one. Huh. No tattoos, no markings.

It's just a very funny story now because it's just become people like chasing ghosts. If that's not him, we should know who that is. But also, it's a funny story because you're breaking down this game and all the angles from that. What does it mean if he was at that game or not at that? It's Central Michigan. Michigan State's a dogshit team anyway. Like, this doesn't really change the story. I don't think they knew Michigan State was as dogshit as they ended up being.

Wouldn't that be even worse? No, it's already, like, it's not like, oh, shit, that's it. Oh, fuck, that was him at the Central Michigan game? Yeah. And if it's not him, it's like, see, he's in a – I think anything more embarrassing. I like you being flummoxed. Yeah.

Out of my hands. Whoa, whoa. You are flummoxed. I think it's our security guards carrying hot soup across the basketball court. That would have been so funny. Filled to the brim. He just walked past us. He had so much soup.

He was steaming. He was steaming hot soup. What kind of bowl was that? Right across the middle of the basketball. He was walking willy-nilly with it, too. He dropped something, too, over there. Did he? There's a bowl on the ground.

Yeah, there is a bowl right there. Before we could dribble once, there's soup on the court. Hank and I were talking schedule. I think next Thursday Will be our first Stream on The court Hell yeah Oh yeah

Oh yeah I think we have something Planned for Friday too After the Yak I'm excited You playing coy right now? No I'm not Okay

I don't think he's coy That was even more coy That was even more coy I'm not playing fucking coy I'm just biting my lip over here. Being cute. Coy? What's coy?

You got something. KB's got something. Yeah. No? Let's see. Now I'm looking at schedules. Oh, yeah. Austin Town Fitch, Walsh Jesuit.

Walsh Jesuit's a bunch of pussies, I heard. Wait, look up that roster. No? No. Yeah. Hit that one. Which side do you want to go on? No, let's see it.

Let's diss the Catholic boys. Okay. Which one's that? Walsh Jesuit. No, wait. No, no. We got to say Walsh Jesuit was the one talking shit about the other one yeah yeah yeah that's what we heard so what's walsh who's their head coach let's see he's like what the wrestling powerhouse back in

the day stay on track stay on track he's losing it tony jameson class uh oh eight tony tony jon told me, I talked to him this morning, he said this game's going to be the easiest game in Walsh-Jesuit history. He's a wrestler from 2008. Nick Alexander, head coach. Oh, Nick Alexander said that it's going to be the easiest game in Walsh-Jesuit history. They're not even going to play their A squad. No, no.

Against Fitch. Starting JV against Fitch. Fitch is a Jv to them yep it's it's it's almost a scrimmage what's the what's the name of the fit school what was the town austin town austin town young town oh wait no austin town bitch is what they said oh we're doing both sides i thought we were doing jesuit oh yeah yeah you're right the jesuit coach said i've confused myself let's polish this off, make it seem realistic.

I think that would be very realistic. You start, yeah, you start. When reached for comment, Jesuit coach said, Nick Alexander said, Austin Town Fitch, more like Austin Town Bitch. More like Lost and Frown.

Yeah. Because that's what's going to happen this weekend. Assholes. Stupid assholes. Jesuit running back Brock Sherman said he's going for 200 against those bitches. 200? Really?

And he plays middle linebacker. They don't respect Fitch. They don't respect any of the Mahoney County teams. They think Fitch is JV. Abercrombie and Fitch got cancelled. Did you guys watch that documentary? No. Is there a documentary about everything? Dumbest documentary ever. Abercrombie and Fitch because it got canceled. Did you guys watch that documentary? No. It was the dumbest documentary ever.

They're like, Abercrombie and Fitch, very problematic back in the 90s. Like, yeah, no shit. Who cares? What was problematic? It was like they only hired white people. Oh. And it was like good-looking people.

They're trying to sell clothes to white people. I know. I watched the whole documentary. I was just like, what is this? What are we doing? We were talking this weekend. Was it Hollister or them that just hired shirtless dudes? I think it was both.

It was both and they just stood on like a wood pier in front of them. Hollister was like a Pacific club. Yeah, and it was just like you could go touch the guys. They were just standing there and you could go touch them. Can I touch your pack? I would go to the mall and we can just go touch the guys on the Hollister. Like a petting zoo of men. For men, yeah.

It's a man zoo. Yeah, they would play like Phantom Planet and then you would go touch the guys. California, here we come as a shirtless dude with spritz in the jeans.

Yeah. And it was dark as fuck in there. Oh, yeah. I'd bump into the... Abercrombie's bags had shirtless dudes on them, right?

So you'd be like bossing them. Yeah. You'd walk around with the male model. A torso. Abercrombie's bags had shirtless dudes on them, right? So you'd be like, boss, I'm Abercrombie. Walk around the mall. You'd walk around with the male model. A torso. It was always shirtless dudes playing, like, mud football.

Yes. And then you could go, like, talk to them and touch them. It was awesome. It's like, yeah, what do dudes do on the weekend? They take their shirts off. They play a little, you know, football in the mud. In jeans. In jeans.

I'm pretty sure they look good. If you worked at Hollister, when people walked in, you had to say, welcome to the pier. Oh. Which was, we should do that here. Yeah. Oh. Look how dark.

Yeah. It's so dark. Yeah, I think I want this. Yeah. I want all of that. Yeah, that looks awesome. 11 years ago. They made cargo khaki shorts cool.

That's hard to do. Oh. Was Jason Schwartzman in Phantom Planet? I think so. The dude from Rushmore? Yeah. Yeah. What did that...

Where did that come from? Will you stop asking questions? Yeah, yeah, that is... What's going on over there? Who brought up Phantom Planet? I think Jason Schwartzman's in it. What happened to the Ovaltine girl? I think it was a guy.

It was a guy. Was his name Nathan? Stop. Damn it, Nick. We got nicked. We got another camera in the room. Where is it? Where?

Where? Oh, yeah, sweet. Great camera. That one looks good. Good shit. Wait a minute. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, this one's good. TJ, call this one funny cam. Whoa, hell yeah. Whoa. Ooh. Funny cam indeed Okay What? Don't go any further than that You look good today, Papa Why are you doing that?

Don't worry about it Shout out Mincy For getting Kate's son's name wrong Right away And then it's pictures of the baby Laying getting Kate's son's name wrong right away. And then it's pictures of the baby laying on Kate's naked chest, and he goes, lucky guy. Lucky guy, Cassidy.

Yeah, he had four shots. Look at that. Look at that horse. Boy, that's a big horse. Holy shit. Holy fuck. That's a big baby beast right there. That looks like me after I've had like a lemon swedge. Just curling up

with my fat roll. That's a big boy. That was in Kate's belly. She was coming to work every day. You can tell how crammed he was in there still. Now this is a bully. Congrats, husband. Not husband. In Mincy's defense, Cassidy's Husband. Not husband. Yeah, just the...

Well, in Mincy's defense, Cassidy's probably like a 10 to the 40th power more popular name than Buckshot. It was the last name in the order, though, which is typically the last name. Is that in Arabic? Yeah. Yeah, maybe Mincy thought it was an Arabic name. Mincy, he left? He left. He was here the day.

He was here? Yeah. Congrats, Kate Barstool. Cassidy is a lucky kid. Mincy also, like Cassidy is the name of a Grateful Dead song, so Mincy probably was like sick. Buckshot, Alpha Force, Cassidy. Now... BAC bac which is this is this is one of those things where with kate in the beef like yep that could be his name i'm 50 50

i i don't know right like i read it and i was like haha wait yeah maybe i mean she did say buckshot a lot during the pregnancy. Like, she leaned. I think that could be the first name. Buckshot, what a name. You can make Buck work. Yeah, Buck absolutely works. Every small town sheriff.

Yeah. That kid's going to be a sheriff in, what, two and a half, three years? Yeah, probably. Is that really the name? I'm going to text Pat right now. I'll text Pat, and I'll say, congr. Is that really the name? I'm going to text Pat right now. I'll text Pat and I'll say, congrats. What's his name? And then I won't say it because I don't want to reveal it.

I hope Pat's okay. He did just have to stand while a woman gave birth. I hope he's all right. Yeah. Hope things are good. Don't lock your right. Yeah. Hope things are good. Good thoughts. Don't lock your knees. Maternity leave should include the work of child rearing.

You should get like 20, 30 days off. They get four months, don't they? Four months. Four months? Four months off work. Yeah. Right. And then like, do you say you get

like you shouldn't have to raise the child like right away that's the real work right the real work starts now right right right right correct it's not a leave right it's more work yes yeah right you get a few few weeks off. Yeah. Working moms. Away from the baby? Working moms are the biggest badasses in the world. Well, they kind of need to be around the baby, I feel like. That's a lot of work. Who's going to do it?

Like, Kate needs a vacation right now from her baby. Right. Just right out of the hospital, on vacation. Vacation, yeah. Yeah. That's how it should work. Okay. Instead. I guess she has been the only one around the hospital, on vacation. Yeah. That's how it should work. Instead.

I guess she has been the only one around the baby for nine months. We have. Yeah, we've been around the baby a lot. I'm kind of sick of this baby. We deserve a little break. We deserve a break? Yeah, we deserve a break. Are mix-ups things that actually happen in real life, or is that just like a Hollywood trope,

where they take the baby away, and they're all in the same room, and then they mislabel them them and then they bring the wrong one I have one of mine that I wonder about really yeah it's very responsible good with money you're talking about Tommy wait you have a which which one of your young children is good with money? My 10-year-old. Are you and Tommy beefing right now, by the way? Every dollar I've ever given him, he still has. What happened to my $100 I gave Tommy? Gone forever.

Oh, yeah, he took his mom out too much. Yeah, gone forever. I am beefing. You're beefing with Tommy? I'm beefing with Tommy. Tommy is leaning into the I'm going to put on a performance for the cameras, I believe. And he walked into Unnecessary Roughness last night,

and he declared himself. It's okay. You can get out. It's okay. We're here for you. He declared himself an Alabama fan. Who made that graphic? Committed.

Who made that graphic? I love it. He likes a winner. That's what he said. He said. It's Gam Gam. He said, if they win, why would I root for the other team? Smart kid.

It does make sense. Checks out, for sure. He should just be, you know, Trill Ballins in real life. He's rooting for the winner. Or Wallow does that. Yeah. Wallow literally, he goes to the Super Bowl with two jerseys.

Ready to rock. Life would be way better. It would. If you win every championship. Don't you want the best life imaginable for your son? No. No, I don't.

No. No. I had to go through some fucking shit. They're going to need to go through some shit too. Your mom's an Alabama fan. I know.

And I'm ashamed of it. It's embarrassing. She's a lovely lady. Not really. She's done some bad shit in her life. You're the rebel of the family. Huh? You're the rebel of the family. I know. And I'm ashamed of it. It's embarrassing. She's a lovely lady. Not really. She's done some bad shit in a while. You're the rebel of the family. Huh? You're the rebel of the family. No. You've been a rebel. You love to say rebel.

You're a rebel without a cause. You have rebel in your blood. You love the rebels. You love being around rebels. Don't fight it. You're a rebel. Okay. Okay. You were grown in a grove of rebels. Even the wife. Even the old miss.

Yeah, but I... So, last night, after I got off on this air roughness and I told Tommy we'd talk about it, and about nine o'clock, I went downstairs to fix me some tea right before bed. What? How fucking old are you? I had to fix me some tea. Oh, you're thinking hot tea? No, no, no, sweet tea.

Sweet tea, got it. Nothing like just guzzling some sugar right before bed. I had to have my bedtime sweet tea, and Tommy said... That's Brandon's brushing his teeth. Your innards have to look like Osmosis Jones. I'm going to gargle some sweet tea before I lay my head to this pillow. He said, Dad, I guess I will root for Mississippi State. I said, instead of Alabama?

He said, both. And I'm like, that's worse than just rooting for Alabama. Well, no, but if Mississippi State plays Alabama, Mississippi State might win. In certain sports, that's true. Or we're talking about football. Okay. I know i'll talk to tommy later we gotta do a tommy walker minute today so i guess i'll have to see him hey is tulo smith still injured tolu smith and he is out until january god damn it la night gonna beat roman yeah uh he might i don't think so i don't think Is LA Knight going to beat Roman? Yeah. Whoa. He might. I don't think so.

You think so? I don't think so. I don't think so either. I think they're taking Roman to WrestleMania to lose to Cody. But I thought that last year, so who knows. And he also might fight Rock, so. Okay, not the name Buckshot. Okay.

I'm not going to say. The name is very cool. Can I say the name? I think I know the name. I don't want to say it Because I don't want to Name It's a good name

Strong name It's a good name It's Nadeshot Strong name Nadeshot It's good Yeah not Buckshot It's NoobTube

Rumble Rumble would be a great name Thumper Wrong. Yeah. Midnight Shot. It's good. Yeah, not Buckshot. Yeah. It's Noob Tube. Rumble. Rumble would be a great name. Thumper. That's, I love it. Yeah. Needler. Thumper would be an awesome name.

Thumper would be a good name. Thumper would be great. Kyle, you still got to buy a gun. Oh, shit. You're due for a dumb purchase. You ain't bought a gun yet? Uh-huh. No. I don't even know how to go about it it doesn't have to be a real gun

buy a potato gun oh those are fun you know what we do need here we need a tennis ball gun oh yeah or a t-shirt cannon oh like the yeah i want to find one i'll go oh my god that would be fucking sick if we had a tennis ball gun up on the second floor, just light people up. Just make Mickey Smokes run around the gym. What they call that? Assault? What was that game called? Where the gladiator was up on the platform and shooting tennis balls at you. That was like the final thing, right?

No, that's the Eliminator. That was the obstacle course, right? I thought that was the final boss. Can someone make us one? Because I looked for one. I couldn't find one. That wasn't the final boss when the guy's up there and you got to run like. Because the eliminator was the final thing.

Assault. Like this? Assault. What's the eliminator? The obstacle course at the end where you run up the net and you zip line down. Oh, yeah. And you're going up against the other guy. You go up the ramp.

One guy gets the head start based on all the other. Based on the other. Yeah, the results. That's like a fat person who doesn't want to throw a tennis ball to their dog. What are we talking about? Like a CO2 powered. Can you show the gladiator? Yeah, right here. That's like a fat person who doesn't want to throw a tennis ball to their dog. What are we talking about? Like a CO2 powered. Can you show the gladiator? Yeah, right here.

Right here. Here we go. Yup. Yes. Oh, get one of these too. Get a fucking crossbow. They had to hit the target. Oh, wow.

Why'd you say the gladiator? Oh, yeah. We need that. Oh, okay. Whoa. Gotta be honest. The way I remember it, it was way more badass looking.

Yeah, me too. How could this be more? Oh, they're not going too far. Well, this is the one. If you get hit, you're out. I wanted to play really bad. Yeah, that's. I mean, that's pretty.

He's lighting that spot up. Oh. Is that Nitro? Nitro was always my favorite. We need to play this. I get it? Come on. There it is.

Oh, he hit it. Yeah, that's Nitro. Why was Nitro your favorite? I don't know. I get it? Come on. There it is. He hit it. Yeah, that's Nitro. Why was Nitro your favorite? I don't know. I just like Nitro. I mean, Thunder was pretty cool and Gemini, of course. But I was a Nitro guy. Was Gemini a chick?

Gemini was a black guy. That's what I meant. Zap was a chick. My favorite game was the one where they have to dunk it into the trash can, basically. Powerball. Yeah. I don't remember. I don't know any of this.

We should play Powerball. Oh, that would kill us. Powerball should be one of those alternative sports that gets play on the Ocho. Yeah. It was a pretty cool last sport. It's like, yeah, it's just fucking rugby, and you're dunking into a trash can. Yeah, Powerball should be like the next sport that Greg Hardy gets knocked out of.

All right. I'd watch that. Powerball is awesome. He's always finding new ones. He just finds a new way to get knocked out every other weekend. And everyone's like, yes, fuck that guy. We should watch old episodes of Guts to try to get some game ideas.

I would love an Agra Crag. We just talked about this. We just talked about this. Brandon's not a Guts guy. What do you mean? He has no frame of reference. I'd try to buy a piece ideas. I would love an aggro crag. We just talked about this. Brandon's not a guts guy. He has no frame of reference. I'd try to buy a piece of the aggro crag. You're speaking Mandarin to Brandon right now. He has no idea what you're talking about.

I was culturally aware of guts. I did not watch it. I didn't have cable TV. We were poor and we had three channels. I didn't get cable TV until 1994. Where was all the money going? And guts was off air by then, right? Drugs. On old KFC radio, we had... Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of drugs. I lived in a goddamn trailer.

Yeah. And half of it was filled... With drugs. With drugs? With drugs. The other half, agro-crack. Kids. And puppies.

Was it like an even split? Yeah, kids, puppies on this side, drugs and food on the other side. Were you allowed on the drug side? Did it have like a bitter odor? There was a lot going on. Were you cooking? The drugs with the bitter odor would stay out in the shed. So that didn't really come into the trailer, yeah.

Were you cooking? I never cooked anything, no. But my dad, he'd cook up a storm. He's a master chef. He had all kind of recipes let that boy cook just walk around being like yes chef yeah i never saw him eat a thing oh never saw him eat but he was always cooking taking care of his health yeah we had uh he's dead now. Old case radio, we interviewed Brian Beer, who had a perfect game on Guts.

Legend. I'm going to be honest. I forget what that is. Thank you, KB. What? No, that's Double Dare 2000. Guts is like a flag, capture the flag. No, it was different games.

Then they had to climb the aggro crag at the end. The aggro crag? Yeah. It was the big mountain. Was the chick hot? Not the legend of the hidden temple. No.g? Yeah. It was a big mountain. Was the chick hot? Not the legend of the hidden temple. No. Was she hot?

Yeah. She had an English accent. She had an accent. That's all I remember. That's hot. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Look at that piece of crag. How much?

I never watched this. $1,500. Kyle, you never watched this? I guess not. I didn't either. This is not that big of a deal. Can you show them going up the crag? I don't think we can because it's Viacom.

Legend, bet, and they have Bloodhounds. Can you show a picture of the crag? Yeah. Do you have it, Guts? You're way weirder if you didn't watch Guts. I believe I am. Yeah, I'll take that. No, I'm calling out Brandon more.

Brandon's got this whole fucking attitude where it's like, if I did it, it was cool. And if you know about something that I don't know about well you must be the weirdo all I said was you're the weirdo get him

you're the fucking weirdo talk to him cat he's not Seuss because he's the fucking cat why would you call him Seuss yeah you're right he's an imagination of Seuss

Frankenstein ever yeah sorry I just wanted to get worked up don't pop pop in this costume relax it worked

relax till we see does your hat show straighter as you got angry yeah it's an arousal Sorry, I just wanted to get worked up. Tell me Pop Pop. In this costume. Relax, Pop Pop. It worked. Relax. Tell me see. Does your hat show straighter as you got angrier? Yeah, it's an arousal thing. Legends of the Hidden Temple was a broken game. I watched that shit. See, that's a crime. They could just grab you whenever they wanted.

Yeah, Legends of the Hidden Temple was awesome. That kind of looks like... The... What, the silver... No, the piranhas? What was it? Purple parrots, blue barracudas, green monkeys. Blue barracudas.

How many beers? TJ, is that all you watched? So Teen Nick was a channel. All of those shows filmed before I was born, before Mook was born, but they aired it on Channel 133 Teen Nick, where it was Nickelodeon Gas. Teen Nick sounds like a fucking nerd.

Yeah, and that's all I watched all day. Yeah, I used to watch reruns of Guts in college It rocks Instead of going to class How was Teen Nick? No pussy I was killing a lot of plane striders Harvesting them

From Margo? No Mogar? What was it? It's not even worth my time anymore It's bad Brandon Kyle was it? It's not even worth my time anymore. It's bad, Brandon. You're bad right now. Kyle, was it Mokar? No.

Look at that. Look at that piece of crag. Look at that piece of crag. Yeah, I remember this. Why is that called the Cancer Chronicles? Wait, what? Oh, no. What is crag?

It's the rock, dude. A crag is a steep rock surface, is it not? Shut the fuck up. Yeah, it is. God damn it. If I had to guess. Just a wild guess. That show rocked.

So good. Crag. Wow. Damn. Steep rock surface. Crag kind of sounds like a slur. What was the camp one? Yeah.

Yeah. The camp. Stu's being such a cragger. Crag ass. Camp on Iwana? Yes. We hold you in our shorts. Camp on Iwana.

Yes. And when we think about you, it makes me want to fart. Donkey lips. Yeah. Donkey lips. Donkey lips. The fat guy. That wasn't a game show.

It was an islander show. That sounds like something on Dana's list. Yeah. Donkey Lips. Is there like a... It's a fat guy. That wasn't a game show. It was an islander girl. That sounds like something on Dana's list. Yeah. Donkey Lips. Wait, what was what, Kyle? Was there an islander girl? An island chick? You think of the Island Boys?

You think of the Gala Gala Island? In... Oh. Look up the cast of Camp Onowana. There was an island girl. Was there any famous people in that? I think the island girl had some... You're thinking of Moana?

Who are you thinking of? Yeah, there he is. Donkey Lips. Michael Bauer. Keep going. None of these people did anything. Danny Cooksey was in different strokes. Michael Bauer, I think, was a really big guy in the Snap package. I feel like all these people who are like, if you're a child star, you either die or you start an indie rock band that never gets famous.

California, here we come. Like Schwarzman. Like Schartzman? Yeah. He was in... Every Wes Anderson. But what was the big movie he was in? Marvel?

No. We got to get him on the show. Schwartzman? Yeah. Yeah, we do. I think he'd be a cool guy. Jason Schwartzman. I don't know if we're doing lists of guys getting on the show. Swartzman? Yeah. Yeah, we do. I think he'd be a cool guy. Jason Schwartzman. I don't know if we're doing

lists of guys getting on the show. He's probably one. You think Schwartzman's way up there? Yeah, he's number one. He's one on our list. I don't think Schwartzman can be one.

Yeah, I think he's number one. He was in a lot of Wes Anderson's. Has Wes Anderson fallen off? No. I don't think he's been fell off, didn't he? Was it Asteroid City? Yeah, but was it good? French Dispatch wasn fell off, didn't he? Asteroid City. Yeah, but was it good?

French Dispatch wasn't good. I didn't see Asteroid City. He didn't like that people were doing the TikToks, right? No, he didn't. How long ago was Budapest Hotel? That was a good one. I like that one. That was a while ago.

It's been a minute, though. So what did Wes Craven do? Nightmare on Elm Street. Spooktober. Wes is a good name wes is a good name wes from the challenge when he did steroids that one year dominated that guy was crazy yeah that's the blonde head kid yeah and he said he he came back to the challenge one year and was like super jacked and he was like yeah i'm an investor i own like 500 different companies he just i think he just invested in a fund that like invested in other companies like it's not called owning companies yeah i don't own apple do you know

i have stock that's you're technically an owner really i? I think, man. I think so, yeah. Okay, so I own a shitload of companies. Fuck. You're a minority owner, not like Brandon's grandparents, but... You own a little bit of the stock. Mm-hmm. Good with that one. Oh, not even close.

Not close. You want to do the High noon ad yep steven chase still suspended by the way guys you know what it's time for right anybody anybody it's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized long games because the high noon game day pack is back it includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit everybody Everybody sitting down loves the High Noons. Made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. The High Noon game day pack is back. And it's a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time and not a long time.

Visit HighNoonSpirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. And I've heard that the new tangerine is amazing. It's delightful. In the Prez pack. I haven't had it yet. I'd love to get my paws on one of those. Titus read the comments saying that he'll never be Big Cat. He's like, fuck you guys.

What's your strategy for handing out candy? Are you going to hand it out or are you going to let the kids? The house we're at, the doorbell doesn't work. So it would be funny if I just sit in the house all night and like no kid. Like the kids just keep bringing the doorbell and nothing happens. And they just turn around and leave. And I never actually give out any candy. Yeah.

I don't know. Do I put up a sign that says please knock? There is a doorbell, but it doesn't work. Do you have you have a stoop there's a stoop you might want to sit on your stoop for an hour all night no for an hour cold yeah break out you sit on your stoop for an hour and then you and then you just leave the bowl after yeah once a certain hour hits you're just like fuck it yeah whatever you. Yeah, we'll see. I'm fired up for Halloween, obviously. I am too.

You seem like you're stressing like crazy about Trick or Treat. No. What if you get egged? You went on a rant yesterday about the timing. What if you get egged? I can't tell if I'm being fucked with. You guys completely misunderstood what the rant was. I'm not stressed at all.

I'm trying to understand the time. Can you rant non-stressed can you do a chill rant there was i'm asking the room do you remember trick-or-treating very early i know no one understood yeah we used to go at night it was late now the kids yes yeah and now it feels like the kids so the question is do we misremember or are kids in fact pussies do you do you think maybe it's a chance that when you were young you went when it was light out, but because you were young you don't remember? That's what I'm saying.

Right. That's what I was trying to— Like when you were four, did you go at like 5 o'clock, but because you were four you don't remember that Halloween? The changing of times, the white— I'm not talking about like being four. I'm talking about when you were like in middle school. Yeah, it was dark.

It was very dark. It was very, very dark. Yeah, did we— Right, and I feel like trigger treating i feel like trigger treating now is like almost when it gets dark it's kind of over over yeah damn right yeah that's what that's what all the that's what all the neighbors that's what everyone's telling me is like yeah we're only going to like seven i would get my costume on like after dinner and go out it was dark and you got like i got an orange flashlight yeah that's-o'-lantern face on it. That's what I was saying yesterday.

I was trying to understand, am I crazy or has the trick-or-treat window been shifted up considerably? It's snowing outside right now. It was. It was. It's snowing this morning. It's snowing right now. Why would I lie about that? Oh, yeah, it is. Nick posted on his yearly Instagram post today as well. I did post on Instagram today. It's snowing? It's snowing right now. Why would I lie about that?

Oh, yeah, it is. Nick posted on his yearly Instagram post today as well. I did post on Instagram today. And you're taking for... Yeah, I'm taking next year off, so I double posted. I posted a slideshow. You can't look at the next picture until next year. No! Oh, come on.

Best one yet. Yeah, I agree to disagree. Yeah, people are... You know, we work at a social media company. You got to use it. You got to fucking use it. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you, everybody.

I had an asthma attack one year on Halloween. Of course you did. You're not even asthmatic. That's pathetic. I'm fully asthmatic. Or was pathetic. I'm fully asthmatic. Or was. I think I grew out of it. Do people grow out of the inhaler?

Can you do that? Oh, you do. What were you dressed as when you were having an asthma attack? I was dressed as a serial killer. Did you have like a spoon? Yeah. I had a jail costume on with a bunch of cereal um cardboard boxes taped to me how old were you sixth seventh grade maybe okay and uh i got really excited i was with the gang and i ran

up a hill to get to the first house first house all night got to the top of the hill just instantly just started barking oh no like the horse cough and. You were in a gang in sixth grade? Yeah, dude. I talk about this every Halloween, but my dad always brought his work friend's son to trick-or-treat with me. I hated it. Couldn't ascend stairs. He couldn't go upstairs.

He didn't know how to go upstairs. This is well into pubescence. He couldn't go upstairs, so we had to skip every house that had steps. He physically didn't know how to go upstairs? Didn't know how to go upstairs. He was dressed as Huck Finn every year. He put his candy in his bucket of whitewash.

Damn. I've said too much. He'll be found. I don't know if he can go up steps anymore now. He can. He can? Oh, he can. Yeah.

Do you know him? At least he was in my homeroom junior year. Oh, my God. His last name begins with an early alphabet. Shut up. Oh, he can? Yeah. Do you know him? At least he was in my homeroom junior year. Oh, my God. His last name begins with an early alphabet. Yeah, yeah. Actually, now that I think about it, I never saw him go upstairs. We had to skip every house that went upstairs, and I was so pissed every year. I liked him, but Halloween, not somebody you want to be with.

And it was your dad's good work friends. You had to. He's almost like a stepbrother. So they lived way out in the cut, so they couldn't go trick-or-treat, so they would bring them to our neighborhood. Who's older between? One of you is a year older. I'm a year older.

You're a year older? Okay. A grade older. Okay. I remember Halloween changed, too, when people started getting into girls. Then it was all about trick-or-treating with the girls. Oh, yeah. And not about the candy.

Yeah, there was the moment where you realized, oh, maybe I'm too old, and it sucked. Yeah. Like 13, 14, you 13 14 you're like ah shit maybe hit a house or two yeah don't even put on a cot like put on a mask and just go and just take a couple bowls yeah sweatpants eye black yeah that was a bummer and then go smoke a black and mild at like a local park or something yeah yeah halloween is very funny like if you explained it to someone who's not from America like yeah we just dress up I have a dumb question we're the only ones is it only American I thought it was what's the Mexican thing that does day the dead other people's a dress up for shit no

Halloween is definitely only American right right? I didn't know that. I have no idea. It's not American. It's now Western culture. So what is Western culture? White. So American, European. Oh, okay. American, European. Got it. So yeah, we're the only ones who do Halloween. So Zala, when would you ever throw on a costume?

Once. We were actually, I just reposted it on my Instagram story. We did, we were a kiss. When? Back in college. Were you a kiss. When? Back in college. Were you a Hershey kiss? Back in college. No, no, no.

No, wait. Sorry. It was some movie. Oh, Gasparilla. They told me what to wear was some movie. Was the Kiss of the Dead or whatever.

It's on my Instagram story. Halloween rocks in college. Yeah. Oh, wow. Sorry. You look good. Holy shit. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. They are kissed, but you're not. Yeah, what. You look good. Holy shit. Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on. They are kissed, but you're not. Yeah, what are you talking about? They're kissed, but they have swords. And what are you wearing, Tom? It was from some movie. It's that dude that did- Oh, you're step bros.

No, no. It's the dude that did fucking Superbad, I think. One of the brothers that did Superbad. Role models. That. Yeah. Role models. There we go.

Oh, not kids. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, LARPing. Oh, shit. Role models. That. There we go. Role models. There we go. Oh, nutcase. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, LARPing. Oh, shit. That's amazing. Wait, that's so good. That looks good, Zaha. Thank you.

Thank you. That's my college boys. Shout out. Shout out to college boys. Mook, do we cover this? Or do you look like the, I noticed this, the modern rendition of George Washington? Yes. We did. Yeah. Well, we covered it on Friday modern rendition of George Washington. Yes. We did.

Yeah. Well, we covered it on Friday, but not on the show. On Friday? At the Donnie party. Oh. He was talking about that you look like George Washington. Yeah. You look like George Washington?

Yeah, he popped up on the timeline. Kind of does. Exactly alike. Wait, can we see? Because George Washington was a redhead. Whoa. Oh. I mean, maybe not exactly.

Yeah, I see it. I could definitely see it. I mean, that looks like my grandpa. My real pop-up. Not Brandon? Was his name George? No. That took me a second, but no.

Yeah. Did that thing with John Tyler, an early president still having two living grandsons, did they ever die? Wait, what? Oh, yeah. That was a... Okay, so a couple years ago it came out that a president who died in 1799 still had two living grandsons. What? Yeah.

How? That makes sense. No, it doesn't. He had kids very old. That does not make sense. Hold on. 1799? Wait, wait. How? That makes sense. No, it doesn't. He had kids very old. That does not make sense. Hold on. 1799? Wait, wait.

What are you saying? He had two living grandsons today. That does not make sense. Oh, today. Yeah. Or how long did they have? Look up the John Tyler grandsons thing. The 10th.

Okay, there it is. 2020. Oh, I hate that. The fucking title itself makes sense. Oh, he was born in 1799.99 no he didn't die in 17 all right so Harrison Ruffin Tyler yeah what a douchebag name that is yeah so his grandfather was the 10th president of the United States and he's still alive today he died no he died when did he die? I don't know. It says he's...

Wow. He had two up until like a couple years ago. Yeah. The guy who was alive, his grandfather was born in 1790. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. That's nuts. Josh Dobbs to Minnesota Oh

Holy shit That's pretty good for Oh So that means Jameis is not going Nope I know It's a fake report Interesting

So what's Arizona going to do? Is Kyler back? I think Kyler's back Kyler's all the way back That actually sounds good for everybody. Josh Dobbs. What do you grade the trade? Win-win?

A-plus? I think that's win-win. What would they give up? Played his way into a job, and now he's going to get that job. He has not been playing well, though. Ricky Clayton, too. From Houston. Yeah.

Hmm. Hmm. Huh. Huh, huh, huh. So I got a question. Well, I'll be. How does, is Tommy DeVito a NFL-level quarterback? No, very much not.

So how does someone like him even wind up in that situation? He's a third string. So they're saying he'll never play, hopefully. So third stringers. Don't ever usually play but there's no one like kaepernick isn't better than him oh here we go they wouldn't even let him pass the ball yeah no they didn't so what is his role just to be a dude there is you would think a third stringer should still have like some.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it was wet. Yeah. He wasn't good in college. I remember betting on him a couple times. Syracuse. I'm like, what the fuck? Illinois?

No, Syracuse. Oh, yeah, and Illinois. There's a certain backup quarterbacks have to be like locker room dudes too like it's not just money is it a money saving well he's a money it's money and it's also like i think a lot of teams are like if we ever get to our third string we're fucked anyway okay so might as well have a guy who can just hand yeah you know who who doesn't have an ego doesn't i'm not saying this Kaepernick is going to now sound. Save me, tag me, and tag me. All right.

Here's a good example. Jay Cutler is good enough. Like, when he retired, he would have been better than every other backup quarterback in the NFL. But he probably is not a guy who wants to be a backup. And play for a little bit. Right. And be like, you're not going to get to play. And you got to also, you know, hang around, do the job of a backup. Especially third string.

Like those guys are never designed to play at all. Yeah. Jerry fell for Ben Roethlisberger. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He texted me. He's like, Ben Roethlisberger, the Vikings done deal. And then two seconds later, he said, never mind.

Yeah. It's a tough day for guys like Jerry. Ben Roethlisberger has the same interest as Vikings. Yeah, Big Ben. Oh! This makes perfect sense. Here we go.

What in the fuck is... Oh, shit. What are you? That's what everybody said at Donnie's party. Yeah. What are you? The fuck?

I miscalculated my costume this year. Oh, this is... Are you a disciple? Can I take a guess? Yeah, take a guess. Yeah, go for it. What are you? I miscalculated my costume this year Are you a disciple? Can I take a guess? Yeah, go for it Is this Spy Kids? Yeah, Julian Cortez I do look like him

What's the gif of the guy that's got the Why don't you put on a red wig? All the lenses popping He was pissed at people The big cock dude Who are you? cock dude who's fucking Meghan Trainor. Who are you? Yeah, the big cock guy fucking Meghan Trainor. Okay.

What are you? So I didn't have time to put together a great costume on Friday. I was busy. I had a show before. My wig didn't get in until like 6 p.m. I wanted to be the cream pie god. Yeah, dude, that costume sucks. And it came out like I just like ginger jesus so

annie yeah little orphan no and i was going for ice spice you were like came out and people probably think i'm ice spice no dude we think you're annie whatever or big cock junior the best costumes are the ones you have to explain thoroughly yeah yeah exactly i feel good you still don't get it people on instagram that post the picture of themselves in the costume, and then there's six more slides of pictures of the real thing. That's the inspiration. See? I'm not going to lie, though.

I feel confident in this. I feel comfortable. You look like the Spy Kids guy. You should. I went demon time this weekend. Why do you feel comfortable in that? Because I don't know. The glasses?

I get a little excited. Can I have the glasses real quick? Those are so tiny. The glasses? I get a little excited. Can I have the glasses real quick? Those are so tiny. The glasses are powerful. When I was dressing up in L.A., you lose anxiety. Yeah, I feel like you're a different person. I'm less confident now without them on. These are children's glasses.

I mean, they're the best. That you added late. I wore those to the party. I look like I'm going into a tanning salon. Wait, what do you look like? Wait, no, no, no. You look like something else. Oh, my God.

You look so much like... My face looks so fat. Oh, he does. He looks exactly like something. Just like... It's like a... Is it a meme? Maybe.

What does he look like? Oh, the black dude in the leather that wears the glasses. Terminator guy. No, you don't look like a black dude. Fuck, I don't know. Kind of like the Dr. Robotnik glasses. My face looks so fat in these. I mean, the glasses are awesome, though.

What are you Googling to figure out what he looks like? I think he looks like one of the Cenobites from Hellraiser. Oh, yeah. Your references are nuts they're so sick dude try it try them on look how fat your face is gonna look oh brandon oh my god they don't even go to my ears I know they just grab onto my head oh yeah

zoom in look where he's they're not even close to his ears oh my god those aren't even in the same zip code as your ears oh yeah Brandon I think I got a fat face no no

those glasses are not good for the faces they're going straight out men like us they're strong men like us strong yeah strong weak man i think a big fat round face is strength is strength oh yeah it used to be kingly right all the rich people were fat yeah that was a sign of power. Yeah. We need to go back to those days. Still is. You kind of look like Miss Frizzle from Magic School. Yeah.

Oh. I'll take it. How about Kathy Griffin? You don't look good. I think I look great. Yeah, no. It's among the worst costumes I've ever seen. Yeah, because it doesn't make sense and you somehow look worse.

It was somehow. Why do you have black hair sticking out from the bottom of the wig? You look bad anyway, but then you put that on and you look worse? Wait, Mook, why do you have black hair on the side? I think it's part of the inside of the wig. You're caping as a

non-ginger. Like, look. There's black hair under here. It looks like you are in a ginger. Yeah, the costume is a non-ginger. Like, look, there's black hair under here. It looks like you are on a ginger. Yeah, the costume is a ginger pretending to be a non-ginger pretending to be a ginger. So many people were like, why out of all the wigs you can get, would you get a red wig if you already have red hair? Yeah. It goes with the face. It's true.

It's facts. What did you buy? I bought the robe and the... But what was the name of the costume jesus okay yeah okay yeah got it yeah i fucked up i fucked up but it ended up being fun if it makes you if you have fun then i have i had a great time then that's fun it was a smokes party. At somebody else's house. I'm kind of getting formal that I didn't dress up today. Yeah, me too.

I was spitting game in this outfit. He was. Because you have nothing to lose. But yesterday, when Smoke said you were spitting game, you said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Save it for anus. Yeah, we have a story. Oh, I see. I see.

A lot of people were like, oh, Mook's a scumbag. It was like, no, we people were like oh mook's a scumbag it was like no waiting but you are scumbag yeah no your queen's gone uh no the costume okay yeah okay is it yeah is she gone you might as well just say yeah you could just you don't have to elaborate you out, just help yourself out right now. I'm going to check out of this one. Sunglasses help checking out. Do we need to put out a press release that you're single? Neither here nor there.

I would help you a lot. I would. Put the word out. You could just say we were kidding. We do need a weekly press release on his love life, his dating life, his bitches, as Smokes would say. Well, they're my queens. I treat them with the utmost respect. So much respect that you spit game at other queens.

So, Nicky Smokes' bitches are your queens. Well, he calls his bitches. I call my queens. But he says it in a nice way. Yeah. How about Troy Aikman last night being a ball guy? Oh, he's a meatball guy. Loves you. That was awesome. my queens. But he says it in a nice way. Yeah. How about Troy Aikman last night being a ball guy? Oh, he's a meatball guy. Loves you.

That was awesome. You and Troy just having some balls together. I knew he was a ball guy. That was a rumor back in the Cowboys days, yeah. Yeah. Skip Bayless made his whole career saying Troy Aikman's gay. That's how Skip Bayless got famous. It's factual what Brandon just said.

But that was back in the day when that was like a mind-blowing rumor. Who did they say was fucking? No, I don't know, but it was early 90s Dallas, Texas. So if you were like the man about town and somebody said you were gay, that was a big, big fucking deal. Yeah, pretty big scumbag, Skip Bayless. Real piece of shit. Yeah.

If I had, of all the people that are famous he's the one i wonder about the most why is he why did we make him also so weird that his brother is like an incredible chef and i don't even know if they speak yeah it's his frontera i think it's still here rick bayless he's got a bunch of restaurants skip actually stinks in real life too like. Yeah. He's not... I see people sometimes say he just plays a character and... He stinks in real life. No, he's... Just a dickhead.

He's an actual fucking dickhead. He doesn't let his wife sleep in the same bed as him. I like him. During the week. Well, that's a power move. I like him. Ernestine. Somebody's got to defend him.

Ernestine. Does he get the better bed? Is he 5'4"? Is he a little guy? No, right? I don't know. I've never seen him. Skip?

He's always working out. Wait, but Titus, you met him? Yeah, I used to work in the same building as him with a lot of the same people. Did you ever talk to him? No, you're pissing me off. Thank God you've taken all these forward steps. My career's going great.

You're sitting next to me right now. In a costume. He never talked to anybody. I would kill myself. If you were sitting next to you? You'd kill yourself if you were sitting next to you? We're a group of clever guys, right? Sure.

What'd you say? We have new Yak sweatshirts. And it's probably our most clever shirt yet. Oh. Yeah, it's honoring the new move. Let's go. Yakago. Oh.

And then TJ, if you zoom in. Oh, no, that's us. Yakago Yakanoi. Oh. Pretty good, huh? Pretty good. If you don't buy that, you're a scumbag. Pretty good. Come on. Who did that? Pretty good. If you don't buy that, you're a scumbag. Pretty good.

Come on. Who did that? I saw another one that said Chicago Yaks instead of Chicago Bulls. Yes. Yes. That's good. That one I sent to you, TJ. I actually liked it.

Yeah. What do they do for the Cubs? You couldn't just do Yak Hawks? The Yubs. Oh, fuck. Yak Hawks? The Yubs. I mean, it's actually right there. God damn it. We've already printed a thousand of them. Fuck.

Yak Hawks rock. No, no. I love his Clowntonio Brown. Yeah, Clowntonio Brown. That's in Stephen Chase's spreadsheet. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, I know.

I like Chicago Yaks. Chicago Yaks. But for Chase spreadsheet. Yeah. I know. I like Chicago Yaks. But for every team. Yeah. Oh, my God. I've also just been sent this. Big cat. Oh. Oh.

That's what? $1,000 for that? That means it's good. Wait, is this from t-shirtgun.com? That seems expensive. Okay, I will buy that. Cannons? Wait, I want to see cannons.

I hate to step in. Don't buy that. wait i want to see can i hate to step in don't buy that whoa wait a minute gatling gun i like the deaf leopard what do you mean don't buy that a thousand dollars for a little gun that shoots four balls 300 feet we don't need 300 feet i need more balls well how much is the gunalley gun? $4,000. That's way too expensive. Why is this stuff so expensive? Wait, what's

DEF? CO2 tank? I want the DEF Leopard. That is a noise. It's like a train horn with

a pistol grip. It's unbelievably loud. Can we see a video of it? I don't know if you could use these inside. What's the gauge at the bottom? What is this? T-shirt? It's like sweet. Unbelievably loud. Can we see a video of it? I don't know if you could use these inside.

What's the gauge at the bottom? What is this? T-shirt? It's like an air... You need to, like, load it with air. Oh, I want it. I want to see... Do they have, like, a tutorial?

What's the stress ball Gatling gun? I mean, we're right by train tracks. We could fuck with people crossing the train tracks with that horn. That would be funny. Prank stuff. Prank stuff. Prank stuff. All right, I'm adding Def Leppard to the card. Get the Def Leppard, yeah.

Oh, out of stock. No. What? Dude, Wisconsin had the big old t-shirt drum that was... Yeah. Sick. It was like five of these in one. That's too much work.

Look it. Look how hard it is for her. Oh, this is awesome. Oh, that's satisfying. The war machine nah man that shoots t-shirts yeah why are these so expensive that was 4,000

custom cannons oh my god we need these so bad I just think we can find them cheaper. I think someone can 3D print one of these for us. How many requests for dicks do you think they get for the custom cannons? Oh, a lot.

It's just like the only thing anybody wants is just... TJ, where can people email you for 3D printer making us a tennis ball gun? Dark web. I guess it's my email which is pitchings at barstoolsports.com how do you request a dick 3D printed or a dick in that like professionally hello to whom it may concern

Brandon Walker Barstool Sports I really like this gun but could you make it like a penis I saw you guys do custom orders I was hoping for a nice thick cock with two hardy balls attached. I have attached two files below. And here's a video of me coming. I'm going to buy one of these. This is bad.

I know it. You shouldn't have shown me this. I want the Def Leppard badge. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's Mook. Yes, sir. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Let's go. Mook, you look ridiculous. I look fantastic. This is the best I've ever looked. Yeah. Oh, what is this? Oh.

Oh! There he is. He's going crazy. Mook. Nah. Nah, bro. Boy. Nah, dude.

Chill, chill, chill. Chill, chill, chill. We got some honeys watching this. Yeah, you're scaring them away they're gonna love this that is hoe repellent oh yeah okay

that sounded like it hurt a little bit no it's just I know the truth it wasn't hoe repellent at all no cause you can say

anything you want while wearing this getup not anything at all No Because you can say anything you want While wearing this getup Not anything No you can't Go ahead say anything There are a few things I wouldn't say Say I'm dressed as the cat from the cat in the hat I'm dressed as the cat from the cat in the hat

No Didn't work I believe it That seems really stupid But if you put 12 beers in me then Shit goes crazy You need to use the hands more when you're talking to me. Crazy.

Whoa. I need to get angrier. I really enjoyed losing my mind on Brandon earlier. There's the hands right everywhere. Fucking listen. Listen. Listen. You guys are fucking listening to me.

And I need you to take this seriously. I mean, God damn it. Why won't anybody take this? actually you should do a uh uh like tiktok today breaking down the war in the middle east yeah yeah every time you're in a serious every time you're in a goofy ass costume you gotta bank on no tragedy happening yeah yeah like running to the hospital out of breath. I got here as soon as I can. Here I am. Oh, man.

I got to do an interview in a few minutes. You guys want to keep you asking? Don't tell me it's Schwartzman. Schwartzman. Fuck. Show business. We need to present another premium episode idea to sales by Thursday. Okay. If Corn M corn maze is gone we need

another one okay okay um thoughts uh well i mean the holidays are coming up right so we do before the holidays is there anything with Yakikago we could do? Oh, yeah. What if we did a... We could kill Moog. We could. They did hang Jesus from a cross. They nailed him. What if we did a soapbox derby hybrid jumping over something? Ramps.

Or decathlon or something? Yeah, ramps. We could do ramps. Box Derby hybrid like jumping over something. Ramps. On the court. Yeah, ramps. Like a decathlon or something? Yeah, ramps. We could do ramps. We could do ramps. We should do ramp day. Ramp day. That could mean it.

Ramp day sounds sick. Yeah, that sounds really cool. Miscellaneous ramps. Should we do like American Gladiators? We could. Or something? We could do like an obstacle course, kind do like a American Gladiators? We could. Or something? We could do like an obstacle course, kind of like a corn maze. I'll do Yem Nitro. Oh, what about, yeah.

We could do a yak-themed obstacle course. People just spamming 12-hour stream, that's something different. That's not for this. We're thinking like let's hire... The roof ball was one. The World Records Day was two. We need a third one. and then a fourth one. Let's hire somebody to hunt us.

What if we played a high school in a sport? I got a school. Exactly. Yeah, but I don't want to win that easily. That's not. Okay, we'll come up with something. We'll come up with something. We have until Thursday?

Thursday? Yeah. I would like to play like a varsity soccer girls team We don't play soccer though We hacky sack though JV We do sack JV girls Sacking and soccer same thing

What if we did a roller derby Full contact Or like a combine And we do all of them No Big Cat Because if we roller derby full contact You would just hit me the whole time

And what's the problem? I wouldn't like that But it would be content You could hit back I'd back you up, Papa Stop Not in the costume Alright, we'll call it with something, TJ

Softball We'll call it with something Dodgeball PE day Ball day Just ball day Do something with the kitchen. Just ball.

Kitchen. Cook off. Also, I believe Wipe Off is locked in happening. Oh. Oh, my God. Yes, that is going to be the lowest point of this show. Super. And we've had some low points.

Wipe Off. How is that going to work again? Any time we can take ideas directly out of Stephen Chay's brain, we've got to do it. take How is that going to work Anytime we can take ideas Directly out of Stephen Chay's brain We gotta do it How exactly is that gonna work What about a ball pit Us wiping a faux anus I believe

Enjoying our techniques Getting judged Not our real anuses I wanna apologize To everyone in advance Potentially real anuses I don't I'm just gonna go out

Potentially real anuses I don't wanna wipe a real anus It's Chay versus Big Cat Okay So both of our anuses Oh that's fine So everyone has to wipe a real anus. It's Che versus Big Cat. Okay. So both of our anuses? Oh, that's fine. So everyone has to wipe our anuses? You go to the bathroom with a dude.

What? Nobody's going to... I don't want to watch a really bad idea. This is what... I'm not going to. I'm going to not wipe that. It's actually... I'm going to have the shittiest ass.

Just be like, whoops, guess I lost. Fuck, I lost the wipe off. I'm going to shit in my pants. This was Che's idea? Yeah. I don't think I'll share that. No, this was a sponsor's idea. No, no, no, but the original wipe off was Che's idea.

Oh. Listen, if it makes money, we do it. Yeah, Che said he has the cleanest... He says he makes the cleanest ass. I challenge all of you that I have the cleanest ass. What does that mean? And everyone said, we don't give a fuck. Like, what is that? And he said, wipe off. Yeah. I said he has the cleanest He says I challenge all of you That I have the cleanest ass And everyone said We don't give a fuck

Like what is that And he said wipe off Yeah We're gonna find out With the wipe off Sorry I didn't mean to touch you That was weird Oh man

It's okay Alright well We should put together Like a hype trailer For the wipe off And just be like It won't be funny But it will be gross

Yeah Nobody will watch Alright well spin the wheel TJ Cause I gotta run this interview So we gotta come up with an idea For third How long can I touch How long can I touch you with that

You can touch me as long as you want Pop pop Pop pop Pop pop Pop pop Pop pop Oh ho ho ho Oh ho ho

Oh Do we have it Wait Kate has to bring her And her baby in Do we have the mousetrap Oh we got traps Spin the name wheel I gotta

I gotta go Spin the name wheel. I got to go. Spin the name wheel. Fuck. Oh, boy. This is a test. I'm going to be pissed if I miss this. I can keep the gloves on. No.

No. This is who I am. No. Hold on. Hold the fuck on. Wait a second. Hang on. No, wait just one goddamn second.

Alright, spin the name wheel. Whoever loses has to do the mouse, little mouse. Little mousey. Are those rat traps? Nah, they're the same. Wait, are they stronger? They look stronger. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. traps now they're saying oh wait are they stronger it looks stronger oh wait good thing it won't be us let me see let me see kind of any man oh this is not

good snap it real quick into the mic I'm getting there oh Oh, fuck that. Fuck that. Oh! That's gonna be bad. Oh, no. Ha! Oh, sip. Sip, boy.

All right, Mookos. Fuck! Can you set it Titus with the gloves no that's you that's who I am I'm okay alright ready

ready ready Brandon oh no I was gonna do it yeah Brandon Oh no I was gonna do it Yeah Yeah you were I could tell

Is it set? Fuck that man Shit I was ready Shit this is gonna suck It's gonna eat it Oh Little mousey mouse Shit. I was ready. Shit, this is going to suck. It's going to eat it. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Little mousey mouse. Little mousey mouse mouse. What the cheesy. Oh, fuck, man. Nick and Titus have been in it every last wheel. Yeah, Titus. Yeah, it's fucking me every time.

It's always. Okay. Have you ever had this color combination? Yeah, Mark. I actually want to do this. Get angry, get angry. I thought piss in my pants would fix this, but. All right, best of seven. This is so good. I love it, I love it, I love it. One other mark. All right, best of seven.

This is so good. I love it. I love it. One-nothing mark. All right. Come on, Titus. Wait, what happens in a sweep with a mousetrap? You got to put your dick in.

Yeah, you got to put your dick in. Dick. Dick. Definitely dick. No sweep. One-one. No dick. Another day.

It will happen. It will definitely happen. Someone's going to get their dick smashed up. So we're progressing with how extreme our punishments are. When does it end? Death. Okay. Naked death.

Yeah. Oh, no. Fuck that. Naked death. Naked death. I'll do death. Naked death while shitting yourself. Then Stephen Chay comes and wipes your butt. That's when we'll do the wipe off that. Naked death. Naked death. I'll do dead. Naked death while shitting yourself. Then Stephen Chay comes and wipes your butt. That's when we'll do the wipe-off.

Wipe to death. Yeah. Oh, wipe to death is great. Wipe to death. Titus does not look happy. It's 2-2. 2-2. 2-2.

You're in this, Titus. Yep. Best of three. Best of three. Three-game series. Best of three. I'll do it. I just, you know, I think the writers are getting a little.

Oh, Titus, you got to say you'll do it. I'll do it. I will do it. I'm down for anything. I know you'll do it. Start taking your shoes off. It's a little repetitive. It's a little redundant.

That's all. Titus! Yes! Yeah! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! All right, get out of here, little mousy boy. Where's the little shy mousy? Come on, little mousy.

I hear a squeak. Uh-oh. Is that a mouse? It's not set. Just get the other one out of the way. Get the other one out of the way. Visually, yeah. Visually, we need one.

Okay, mousy boy. Come on. Come out wherever you are. The cat has to lure him. Here comes the mouse. TJ's looking. Yeah, like a tiny little mouse. Tiny TJ.

Damn, TJ. Tiny boy. Oh, here he comes. You want the cheese? Oh, my God. You want the little cheese? You got to slowly bring your finger up to it. Oh, that works.

Or your nose. TJ, you want some cheese? Oh, here he comes. Little cheesy boy. Here comes the cheese. Oh, it's good. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Oh, that sucks. Is that extreme?

That's way worse? Oh, no, I want it. That's great. Good job, TJ. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. That's yak. Happy Halloween. Peace.

Little cheek cheesy boy. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Happy Halloween.