The Yak - Meeting the Mysterious Man Behind Jerry Edits | The Yak 11-1-23

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

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Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Am I... My headphones. Hello?

Can you guys hear me? Am I not on? Am I not on? You're on. I can hear you. Your headphones don't work? Hello? Clear as day.

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Is that a PGA? That's too high. Is that a pussy getting a tire? Just me looking cool, dude. So, okay. Just me looking cool. There's two things that we got to start. I mean, Nick, your shoes are fucking awesome.

Nice kicks. Thanks for acknowledging them before. What the hell are you doing? I decided. Yeah, thank you. High top new balances. High top new balances. They're the best for hacky sacking.

Oh, most surface area. Yep. Brennan, you look great today. Thank you very much. I feel good. I used to be the best guy, and I'm thinking about going back to it. That wasn't a joke. That wasn't a joke.

I wasn't going to be like, oh, I used to be a best guy. Then my dad got a job. Yeah, I guess I would be caught. Well, I was a best guy for many years then wall street bros took over our culture yeah because vests were for a long time the culture of hefty men trying to cover up their boobies well i mean that's it hides titty perfectly so good so well like just tighten it up no titties you look like you're Superman. It seems like you're accusing me of something. No.

What you guys just said seems like something you're accusing me of doing. Well, yeah, you have to admit that you do like the fact that it's like a... You do look great. They are hiding your titties. Right. So, I mean, jokes aside... It is a side benefit. Yeah, right.

I don't think you did it to hide your titties. I think you do appreciate the fact that your titties are hidden it's an added bonus i'd like to announce something right now okay i 100 did it to hide my tits of course it's the main benefit of course but then wall street bros took it over and they just became like they don't have titties to hide they have just they are they well there's fat accountants for sure. Fat accountants for sure. Yeah. But I'm talking about the Wall Street Bros in good shape, making a nice 200K. Nice job.

Living in a sick house or sick apartment in the West Village with four roommates. Like those guys. Are they paying for their vests or they get them from the company? Because it always has the insignia. Mix of both. Yeah. I think it's a mix of both.

All business Pete feels like he's a vest guy. Yeah, but he's a loser vest guy. Yeah. He's just, everything he wears, he's a loser. You probably can't even get the zipper to zip up, right? Am I right? Actually. Am I right, guys?

Yeah. Because he's fucking stupid. He's an idiot. You can't figure out the zipper. He's an asshole. He doesn't wear anything but those short pants anymore. Oh, he's transitioned fully? That's all he ever wears.

Those aren't trans pants. Yeah, they are. He wears jeans on Fridays. When's the last time you saw Pete in jeans? Really think about that. Friday. Nope. Oh, okay.

Then I didn't. I disagree. Are vests practical? Like, is your torso cold in your arm? Like, why vest? I don't know, but it's so comfortable. It feels wonderful. I look terrific.

You do. You feel like a knight. Like, you're all zippered up, and you feel tight. Like a knight? Yeah. All zippered up. This knight feels super comfortable in that armor. All zippered up in that armor.

Do y'all want to pass the vest around? Yes. You want to try the vest around? Yes. Pass the vest around. Does the vest compliment the jacket where you can leave the jacket open? The vest covers the top. Oh, yeah. No, that's a good look. You know what I mean?

That's a good look. You could go short sleeve and look like a motorcycle guy. Oh. Yo, Brandon's kind of, he's got his rolled up. Mark, what's in that box that you brought in? What's in the box that you brought in? My unicycle. The unicycle I ordered two days ago, I think.

That was yesterday. I'm leaving my house this morning. Huge package on the front step. It took me a second to figure out what it was. I don't know. Don't you feel secure? Let's see. You kind of cool, yeah? Not good. I don't know. Don't you feel secure? Sir, how's it look? Let's see. Kind of cool, yeah.

Not good. I'm being honest. You're not fat enough for a vest. You look like you're wearing a vest to try to make people think you're bulkier than you are. That's worse. No, it's not better. Not good. It's worse?

But Nick, you should take that as a compliment. Not needing the vest as a crutch means that you're not a disgusting slob. No, I'm ugly and I look like shit. I fucking get it. Okay, fine. That is what I wanted to say, but I love you too much. Thank you. Let me get it.

Let me get it. Let me get this vest. Let me get this vest. You're about to feel so much power in that thing. What's a jackdude in a vest look like, Kyle? Yeah. Wait. Oh, fuck.

Oh, you look cool, man. That's your vest now. Yeah, that works. That's my vest. Yeah. Your vest. That does look awesome. Bust out the unicycle, please. Look at that seat.

Oh, I feel so much more comfortable. Good. It's probably so warm on the inside, too, because. Look at that seat. I feel so much more comfortable. It's probably so warm on the inside, too, because of how fat I am. Damn. Your titties aren't showing really, though, Brandon. Well, I'm sitting back. Yeah, you really... Touch your elbows together. You look like a guy who could use a vest. Touch your elbows together.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can make myself a nice little home there. Did you see, like, the prison dudes who are, like, making, like, girls from the back out of, like, pillows and clothes? Are you talking about... It looks like a fat-ass girl sitting down. Wait, are you talking about Drewski's skits? Not a girl with a fat ass sitting down. Is that a skit?

Well, Drewski's doing, like, these prisons. Yeah, him and Kai. Kai's in there. Yeah, yeah. Seven days in prison stream maybe I got played but no does he get any backlash for that TJ?

for impersonating a prisoner? yeah I guess maybe I don't know but I feel like we wouldn't get away with that nope no shot

it's a little different what's the difference between us and Drewski? I can't think of anything he's from the south you're from the south I'm from the south yeah. He's from the south. You're from the south. I'm from the south. Yeah.

Yeah. Drewski's so fucking funny. There's a clip from that stream of a guy escaping prison, and it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. That's the guy that impregnated the Little Mermaid. What? Yeah. The chick that played the Little Mermaid. He got her pregnant.

Wait, what? That guy got the Little Mermaid pregnant. The guy that escaped. Was it the black Little Mermaid? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Did you see the video? Did you think he got the animated Little Mermaid pregnant. The guy that escaped. Was it the black Little Mermaid? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Did you see that?

You think he got the animated Little Mermaid pregnant? Horny dudes find a way to. Yeah, same. I think that Snow White's never going to come out, which I love. You win. Yeah, I won. Has there been an update on Snow White? They said that they're extending it to 2025.

That means it's never coming out. And I think they now just fully CGI'd the dwarves now. Oh. Yeah. Okay. It's not those weird dudes in the pasture in the field? I don't think it's the weird dudes in the pasture anymore. Tice is just building a unicycle.

Building a unicycle. I don't know if Kyle asked for it. Yeah. You need help? It seemed like Kyle was... Spokes or anything? I don't think you take a vest off from the top. I just did.

Have at it. By the way, we got off from the top. I just did. Have at it. By the way, we got the golf simulator in. The golf simulator is insane. That's going to be the number one fought over thing here, right? Oh, yeah. There's going to be a line at all times. It has different surfaces for sand, rough, fairway bunkers the yeah it simulates the angle yeah it has a motor yeah to lift it and then it like auto tees it up like yeah he comes from the ground and puts a ball

on there you don't you could golf 18 and not bend yes yes that's crazy replay technology yeah see detects like smash factor head speed i would love if you got sick at golf. They had me do a swing for the demo video and I went OB. Oh. What's OB? Out of bounds.

Out of bounds. You're out of bounds. I'm way out of bounds. Isn't that Guy Fieri? That tastes out of bounds? Is that what he was saying? Yeah, I think he does

the out of bounds. He says out of bounds. He says out of bounds. Going to the home of Guy Fieri tomorrow. What? Columbus. Oh.

Wait, you're out tomorrow too? Yeah. He was from Santa Rosa, California. High noon event. When are you back? Monday. Fuck. I know, guys.

And you're out too, Luke? Yeah. Sponsors, man. I think we have Will in tomorrow. Damn it. Aw. I like playing with him. Yeah, no, the boy's good.

The boy's fun. He's fun to have around. I don't know anything about unicycles. I like playing with him. The boy's good. The boy's fun. He's fun to have around. I don't know anything about unicycles. That's a nice one. It looks nice. Wait, is that already put together? No, he's putting it together. Should I not see the first? I think we're going to need a second person over there. Yeah. I can put on this.

No, no, no. No. I don't think so, buddy. This show doesn't end until that unicycle is usable. I got so excited, dude. I walked outside and saw it. I was like, yeah, I got to bring this in. No, no, no.

Show doesn't end until one of us gets three pedals. Yeah. I do feel like some sort of, this is like a tragic story where you're watching the guy buy the gun and the end of the book is it's the gun that he uses to kill himself. Yeah. That's how I feel putting this together. You all right, man? I am going to die from this unicycle.

I'm currently, everyone's watching me build the thing that will kill me. It's like the guy that built the horse statue in Denver. I was just reading that. Yeah. The big horse statue at the Denver airport. The guy who made it got killed by it. He killed his sculptor. How?

It fell on him. That's such a pussy way to go. How soon after he made it? Dude, I don't even know if it was like, it was probably as soon as he was done. He probably said, voila, and then it just fell on him. That's not, I think that's kind of cool. Can we see that horse?

They call it what, Blucifer, the horse? That's part of the Denver airport being cursed, right? Like that's part of the theory? That's part of the Denver airport being cursed, right? Like, that's part of the theory? That's one of the bullet points. I never dove into that. The blue Mustang. What a sick... Lucifer's a crazy name.

Killed its sculptor. Lucifer's a great name. Look at that thing. Did Frankenstein's monster kill Frankenstein? It would be so embarrassing if his corpse was blue. It might have. Yeah, so it's a tragic trope. The segue.

Jimenez was killed in 2006 at age 65 in his studio in Hondo, New Mexico, where when one of his sculptures three sections came loose from a hoist pinning him against a steel support beam and severing an artery in his leg. He bled to death on a studio floor.

It was before it was finished. Guys, wait a minute. If you look at the segment before that, after missed deadlines, the city sued Jimenez for $165,000. It had paid him. So they sued him. So he was probably hurrying up because the city was breathing down his neck. Or he killed himself because he was in such debt. What a terrible way to go out.

It sounds like he was just laying there, couldn't move, bleeding out. Next to this horse statue that cost him 300 grand. Staring Blucifer in the eyes. Oh, my God. Do they call it Blucifer because it killed a guy? I think it was always Blucifer. That's horrible. As Jimenez's name. Can I go look at the golf simulator? I think it was always Blucifer. That's horrible. As Jimenez's name.

Can I go look at the golf simulator? I've been busy all day. I'm going to go look at it. I'm just fucking sitting here for an hour and a half. What the hell? I'm just going to go look at it. All right, go look at it. Go.

Go. Go. Have you seen it yet? Yes. Yeah. Have I seen it? I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it.

It's off. Yeah, you have. You were taking a look. You played nine. You were standing there. You played it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Titus has the world record already. Yeah, you have. I mean, I was. You were taking a look. You played nine. You were standing there. You played it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Titus has the world record already. Yeah, yeah. Okay. He has the record on the screen. Go see it. I don't want to see it. Kyle's right. I was going to sit here and I can see it after.

Are we inconveniencing you? No, Kyle's always. Always. Kyle is my. Always. Is this show an inconvenience to you, Brandon? No, it is not. I just was thinking y'all were talking about it.

It got me excited about it. Pop-pop? Stop that. You need a nap? Stop. You need a nap? Pop-pop's tired. I don't need a nap.

We're going to have to put you down. I don't need a nap. We're going to have to put you down. I don't need a nap. Speaking of putting people down. Oh, no. Okay. Chris Broussard.

The best clip ever? Yep. Can we play it, TJ? The best clip ever. We can't play it. Why not? Yeah, we can. Why not?

I just talked to Viacom. Wait, why can't we play it? Wait, what? I guess it's your call if we can play it. Wait, are you saying we can't? I'm asking you, can we play it on YouTube? Why can't we play it? All right, fine.

We can play it. I mean, it would be like us unbleeping the case race. He literally said it was okay. His cousin, he just put him... He's literally tried to say... All right, we got to play it. We got to play it for the people. It is so good.

So good. Brew Crew's down bad. Are you the leader of that? Yeah, you are. Yeah, I am. Have you made a statement? I said Brew Crew down bad. Okay you the leader of that? Yeah, you are. Yeah, I am. Have you made a statement? I said Brew Crew down bad, but we'll make a bounce back. I might have to put the Brew Crew shirts on the score.

They're down all right, that's for sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, here we go. He's going to mope, but it's not going to work well. Nick, what is the man retarded? Developmentally disabled. To think that he is going to go to the Clippers where they have Kawhi Leonard

as the number one option, Paul George as the number two, and still Russell Westbrook there, and think that he's going to shoot 25 times a night? Listen, I didn't know what you were going to say today. I'm shocked. This is not going to work. Let me apologize for using that word. I have my first cousin. We just put him to – he died.

He was developmentally disabled, so I didn't mean to use that word. Of course. Of course. That's very kind of you. I don't think anyone would kill you for it. Did he? I don't think anyone would kill you for it. Did he?

Was he about to say we just put him down? Yeah. Yeah. We just took him out back behind the barn. He died. Yeah, we saw him. He also didn't know if it was one month or two months ago. He was like, you know, he died one, two, one month ago.

We were so close. God, that's so funny. So funny. But now, like like that's going to be the funniest thing like oh he's acting like a dead cousin yeah yeah oh you're being a dead cousin right broussard hank was saying like do you think it broussard's cousin's funeral they were like man he really he really reminded me of james harden like that's apparently what chris richard thinks now he's he's in a he's a wild guy he's been on the air forever yeah he's never had the slip up like that has he um no i know that he doesn't like gay people i believe um yeah that's probably a slip up just to have that sense.

Well, he does the religion like that's why. Okay. Yeah. He's so funny, though. He gets shit wrong all the time. Can you find the clip of when LeBron decided to go back to Cleveland? That's my favorite. What was it?

LeBron went back to Cleveland. The news was broken in a Sports Illustrated article that was like posted. Like it was a LeBron did a photo Cleveland. The news was broken in a Sports Illustrated article that was posted. It was a LeBron. LeBron did a photo shoot. Yeah, yeah. LeBron had the writer come to his house, do a whole thing, and then they break it on SportsCenter, and Broussard looks at his phone. He's like, yep, I'm confirming with the Sports Illustrated story behind him.

Like being like, yep, just confirmed. Yep, LeBron to Cleveland. It's like, yeah, we know. It's behind him. It's like, yup, just confirmed. Yup. LeBron to Cleveland. It's like, yeah, we know. It's behind him. It's the Sports Illustrated story. He's just a funny, funny, funny guy. Have you met him? Weird guy.

He's come on the show before. Really? I think I have his phone number. Done deal. LeBron to Cavs. Credit to Lee Jenkins. But no, can you find the video? Confirms.

Yeah, he was live on air. Yeah, he was. Yeah. The whole confirmed sources game is like so funny so fun like woge battling shams battling chris do you know what woge did he's a psycho for the james harden thing that uh broke at 2 a.m i think monday night yeah i was listening to woge's podcast he got to new york airport to take a flight to LA at like 7 p.m. And someone texted him saying, don't get on that flight because there's news.

And he sat in the airport till midnight, went home, took a shower, broke the news, got back to the airport and took his flight. What a beast. Yeah. Those guys dislike each other. Yeah. Like, are they trying to sabotage each other with bad info? Shams is the – he was Woj's protege. So Shams is doing –

So he worked with Woj. I thought he was just doing this out of his dorm room. Shams does kind of – he has a little bit of that, yeah. But Woj brought him up through the ranks. Now Shams is trying to destroy him. I want to see a prestige-esque movie between two guys that break news. Just sabotaging. So, where is skill

involved? What can you do? Sourcing, networking. But not a ton. These guys spend every day thinking about their competition and who's going to break. Shams probably woke up on Tuesday morning and was like, I will never

sleep again. That's what they live for. Do they have good lives? Are they happy? No, that high, they need that to feel happy. That's a huge rush. I've gotten to know Schefter a little bit. I would say he's happy in that he likes his job, but I don't

know. He has to live with never-ending dread. He can never relax. He can never relax. It's fine. Just, like, the prestige, yeah. Right. Because the minute you don't get something and someone else does,

and you always – it's basically like being a doctor on call all the time. Yeah. And it's just as important as being a doctor. More. Yeah. Heart surgery. I was recording the fantasy football factory with hank like my first year here and he got a text from somebody that worked with um

golden state that clay thompson tore his achilles and hank got to break that i saw him get to do that it's thrilling it was awesome just to see and be around it's a rush but it's also yeah i don't know how those guys do you have any moles do you have any people that you could could you get into the game i could probably get people yeah but i don't know if i'd ever want to be in the game just to get it once i've gotten a couple what did i get we broke a couple things on pmt like like is shams like grooming kids and the wizards like intern departments like i i did have a beat for a while, which ruled. There was probably four years in a row that a stoolie worked for, I think, Nike.

And he sent me what the teams would wear if they won the Final Four. And I tweeted that before Revelle for like four years in a row, and that was awesome. That's awesome. Yeah. First look. Did that break him? Yeah, he was so mad.

Yeah. So mad. First look. That ruled. But yeah, what if you're wrong? Yeah. Shit's on you. Those guys, they're wrong every once in a while, aren't they?

Ish. Yeah. They're not wrong very often. There's a lot of guys trying to be those guys who are wrong consistently. All the time. Material change. Is there any penalty for being wrong? No.

No. There's no stakes. Woj was wrong in the NBA draft. He was saying Jabari Smith, number one, all the way up until two seconds before Adam Silver came on stage. That's right. Something's changed. Literally nothing changed.

What changed was you had bad information. You dumb bitch. Woj. I hate Woj. You do? Oh, I fucking hate him. You like Shams? I don't really like any of them.

Well, you got to pick a side. I hate the profession, to be completely honest. Okay. But I would be team Shams over Woj for sure. Woj is by far, without question, the worst scooper in any sport. Where's his hate from? He's a horrendous human human being he's just like a horrendous person really like Schefter like he also doesn't like Woj does not give a single fuck about basketball or the NBA or like he's in it for himself right like and I think Schefter I think it's a nice guy Schefter's like a nice guy who like does enjoy football like once

like I'm sure when Schefter goes to bed at night, he's like, I'm helping the sport of football in some way. Woj doesn't give a fuck about any of that. Woj is just like, I am Littlefinger, and I want to build my empire. Does he have a network of spies? If the NBA folded, Woj would just go find something else and then do exactly what he does with the NBA with something else. I hate him

but anyway i'm gonna go back to build a unicycle hot take can we have a second yak account where we just throw up shots and one day we'll get credited for something i'm sure yeah yeah like those accounts that uh go private and they predict like every outcome yes and then it is it is so stressful though because i had uh the one scoop that i had that was like actually worth something was when ucla fired steve alford um i had that news i mean i'm sure a lot of people did but like i i got a i got a tip that they were going to fire him uh the next day i stared at it i searched twitter like this is how i confirm scoops that i get is i go to twitter and i'm like well no no one else is saying this right you know what i mean i'm like this is probably not true because no one else is

saying it uh i realized i had the scoop i i crafted the tweet i sat there and thought like what if i'm wrong what if this isn't good information got scared didn't tweet it woke up the next morning and that was like the story and then i realized i'm not cut out for this no it's like you can't you can't have any feelings of yeah emotion yeah or what yeah what happens if i'm wrong just haunted me way double sourcing yeah so all right i love thinking about like woge like varus from game of thrones he's dickless has no yeah he is he's got a dick and ball he has no other motivation besides scooping wait that was varus i I thought that was Reek. Is it the same guy?

There are a lot of dickless people. There's a couple dickless bulls, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're all ball-less, right? Yeah. They get snipped. Yeah. How are we doing, Titus?

Breaking news on SportsCenter. We're all sitting here trying to figure out what's going on, and it appears that it is confirmed that Sports Illustrated posted a story about LeBron James' voice. The last words of the piece. There's nothing on his phone. LeBron James is going back to Cleveland. And you have confirmed this. Tell us what you know.

This is why he rocks. Lee Jenkins is his man. Let's talk about Lee Jenkins. He loves Lee Jenkins, the great Sports Illustrated writer, and he co-wrote this piece with Lee Jenkins. So as soon as this popped up, you knew it was the real deal. Yeah, LeBron co-wrote it. It had been decided for a while.

So LeBron co-wrote it. They didn't write that this morning. He acted like he got it directly. Him confirming LeBron James saying, I'm going back to Cleveland. Hold on. Did you catch the end where he was putting it together? He goes, they didn't write that this morning,

which means this has been out there for a few days, which means... He could have confirmed it. I don't have this. I've never had this story at all. Oh, Jerry's here. Hey, Jerry. Jerry.

Couldn't find it. You couldn't find the Axe Studio? No. You've been here before. Yeah, but I've never been in the studio. Yes, you have. You've been on this... Have you been on the show since...

No. Oh, yeah, I guess we started last week. Oh. Okay, well, welcome, Jerry. It's beautiful. It's really cool. So, did the audience get to see that? Not yet.

Not yet. Okay. But, yeah, soon. It's beautiful. It's really cool. So did the audience get to see that? Not yet. Not yet. Okay. But yeah, soon. The reveal. Monday? Monday, I believe. Actually, I think it's going to be Thursday because I think Hank wants to wait until we put out the video. Tomorrow or?

No. No. Next Thursday. I'm pretty sure. There's Stu and Sandy. Jerry, that golf simulator is pretty nice I'll tell you what I hate work

I hate going to work I love going to work now Yeah I mean, you could just be there for 8, 10 hours 10 hours And just hang out Go to the fridge, get a few cokes Golf, get a few body armors

Just golf. Say what's up to the people that are watching you up top. I mean, what can you ask for? And you got your boy who just started today. Yeah, Lucas. Oh, should we get Lucas in here? Yeah, go get Lucas. I don't know where he is.

Okay. He's your boy. I can text him. So Lucas just started? Lucas just started. Let's introduce Yack to Lucas because he's a weird guy. He's in the coaching tree. He's in the coaching tree.

He's in my coaching tree. Oh, he is? Wait, he's a TJ coaching tree? Wait, TJ, is he? You got Lucas? What do you mean he's in the coaching tree? He's number four in my tree. Oh, he answers to you.

Oh, I thought it was discovered. Wow. So if you need anything. Wow. Lucas. Yeah, TJ's his boss. TJ's his boss. Lucas, you need anything. Wow. Lucas. Yeah, TJ's his boss. TJ's his boss. Lucas, come on in.

Here's Lucas. Go ahead and sit right there. What's up, Lucas? We always build unicycles on the Yak. Unicycle Wednesday. Okay, so Lucas. Let me take a picture of you. I'm going to tweet it out.

Yeah. Lucas, give us your backstory. How'd you get here? Do I have to wear these? No. You don't have to. No, not at all, man. Wow, kind of an alpha move.

He already decided. He wasn't aware. I couldn't fit it on my big head. Well, did they adjust? Yeah, that's too much work. I don't want to fumble it oh yeah he's an alpha you said my start yeah well yeah so you so for people who don't know uh i'll give my side of it you can correct me if i'm wrong jerry was it all started last year jerry was

complaining to hank that he had no one who could edit his stuff for him. Hank said, Jerry, learn how to edit. It will be funny. So Jerry learned how to edit. And really, he just found Lucas, who was doing the editing for Jerry. Meanwhile, Lucas is working at a P.F. Chang's. And Jerry, I think, was telling him like, oh, we'll hire you. We'll hire you.

No intention of hiring him i found out this year that lucas was making jerry's videos so i was like i'm gonna give lucas credit and say that it's lucas and then dave came on the pro football show he's like what do you mean it's lucas i was like lucas makes these video and dave's like well we gotta hire lucas yeah that's that's pretty good okay but not not really not really not really um what was the plan from the jump well that was so i what would you say the plan from the jump okay so i messaged jerry uh jerry and his buddy kevin they're doing a steelers podcast and i i was fresh out of uh grad school for social work, and I hated it. So I dropped like a month in.

And so I messaged him. Wait, wait, wait. Fresh out of grad school. Sorry, sorry. My fault. When you say fresh out of grad school, that definitely implies that you graduated. Yeah, no, no. I graduated undergrad, not grad school.

You were fresh out of dropping out of grad school. Fresh out of dropping out. Okay. That was a wild way to say it. Love the spin. Love the spin love the spin my fault my little spin zone um but yeah i was i taught myself to edit like in a couple days and obviously still learning and stuff but i messaged them and they got back to me so i was doing behind the scenes stuff for jerry for a little bit and then he tweeted out i forget when it was but he's like i need to learn how to edit someone want to teach

me or something like that and I was like oh I'm gonna lose my job so I I texted him and then he called me and we had this idea for the Jerry edits so we did a couple the first one was like Kenny Pickett second one was like Justin Fields and stuff and then we didn't do much of it because copyright whatnot um and then pro football Show comes around for this year. And Jerry's like, can you do the edits for this? And I was like, yeah, sure. And so I did it. I got the footage and stuff.

And it's Madden footage. And then I was watching the show. And you go, you go, it's actually Lucas edits. And I'm watching it at like three in the morning the night before it comes out. And I wake my girlfriend up. I'm like, what the hell just happened? And it spiraled from there. I met Dave at a Starbucks.

Yeah, I met him at Starbucks. I thought that was wild. I thought we would get recognized, but no one came up to us. We? Dave and Lucas? Lucas from Lucas and Jerry Edits? Dave from Barstool Lucas from grad school? But, yeah, he did call me crazy.

He said I had crazy vibes the next episode, and I took that to heart. I feel like I don't have crazy vibes. You don't. I think the microphone, headphone thing was a little... Well, there was no audio coming out of it. Wait, so why do you think he thinks you have crazy vibes well as we said i was watching uh i was watching it at the bar with my

buddy and uh you're watching a youtube show at the bar well yeah i had to see the what was going on with it okay crazy vibes and so he's like he's like telling the story and he said i had crazy vibes to me and i was just like I didn't think I was that crazy. Right. Crazy vibes. Maybe nervous. It's from Dave just walking into a Starbucks to meet a stranger. Yeah, that's true.

That's crazy. Oh, he wasn't just getting coffee? No, it was a planned meetup. It was. Oh. Yeah, it was a planned meetup. So they recorded it. It was, like, week two or something like that.

Whenever Dave was first on it, I was, like, sick in bed. And my phone was dead bed and I turned my phone was dead and I turned my phone on and I've got like a text from Jerry like 45 minutes ago like Dave wants your information and because you lived in Florida and Dave obviously lives in Miami yeah and it was I don't know fate is the word but I was actually going to Miami the next day uh to the hard rock with my girlfriend and her uncle and uh what were you guys gonna do there we were watching this kid he had a concert to go to so we stayed at the hard rock gambled a little bit babysat oh nice um and so I was going the next day and I remember I was at I

had to work at P.F. Chang's the night before I was like i was in my shift i was like man i gotta work this damn shift serving people and tomorrow me and dave portnoy for a job possibly yeah so it was it all happened so fast like 24 48 hours and do you think that jerry would have kept you secret if i didn't find out jerry yes but also that was the no no no no that was the bit. Right, but it wasn't a bit that you were working at P.F. Chang's and wanted to work at Barstool and no one knew you existed. No, but I understood it was a grind. That was real life. Yeah, I had a good situation where I didn't need the most money financially. Okay.

So I was willing to grind it out. It was like I want to do something that i love not i like that i like that a lot but the bit had to die for me to get a job so i'm kind of okay with that yeah i'd say so yeah so now it's a good trait you just moved to chicago did you get an apartment yeah i've got an apartment downtown your girlfriend come uh she's helping me move in she's not living there right now possibly in the future but got it uh and you report to tj and what are you gonna do um my role is editor okay um i don't really have much information other than that okay okay that works yeah i've i've got ideas. I've pitched to Jerry and stuff. Like? Like, man, I have them all in a PowerPoint.

I just forget. Well, go get it. I would love to see the PowerPoint. Go get the PowerPoint. I think I have it on my phone. Okay, perfect. You send it to me. Send the text.

Okay. Send it to TJ. Lucas, we've met. We have. Yeah. Lucas, whoa. Nice. No way.

You introduced me. I want to hear this. Wait, Lucas, what's up with the phone? Pirate day. Oh, my whoa, whoa. Nice. No way. You introduced me. I want to hear this. Wait, Lucas, what's up with the phone case? Pirate Day. Oh, my God, yes. Wait, wait, look at his phone case. Oh, hell yeah, Lucas. What's up with that?

I got a new phone a year ago. Show it to the camera. Where's the camera? So you stole a 13-year-old girl's phone. Stole? No. I was at, I got a new phone, and I was traveling. It's concerning.

Jerry, this is a red flag. You hate that. That's not bullish. That's not holy heart. We fly straight over here. Chill out, Broussard. It was whenever this phone had come out, so I had to get a case, and I wasn't going to spend a lot of money on a new one right away because there weren't many options.

It had just come out. So it was at the five below, and that was the only one they had that fit my phone. And I thought it was really funny. So my girlfriend has the same one but green. I like this. I think it's funny. Yeah. No, but you do.

I'm kind of starting to see what Dave's saying. You're not crazy. You're a. No, but you do. I'm kind of starting to see what Dave's saying. Like, you're not crazy. You're a little off, which is good. This is literally the home for off people. That's the whole reason that Barstool exists is look at Jerry. Jerry's off. I'm on. Always on. How many other Lucases do you have?

One. Wait, so when did you meet him, Nick? We went to the Pirate Game together. And you were there? Yeah. Jerry flew me up to Pittsburgh for the softball game. For what? To record him at the softball game.

And you were paying Jerry's phone bill? No. Why did you look at him before you answered? You looked at him and then answered. Because, well, he told Dave that, and I told Dave I couldn't. Yeah, I didn't want to lie. What else were you doing for Jerry? A lot of meme stuff.

A lot of video edit stuff. Stuff like that. Fragrance. Yeah. Brandon? Oh, you keep talking. What's your signature editing move? Explosions.

I love his moves. That was it. I've got to rebrand that just because I can't pretend like I'm dumb. Here's what Jerry edits. See? He's a good editor. Yeah.

Self-taught? Yes. No kidding. Yeah, a couple days, right? Jerry, it's tough looking at you without a beard. What are you talking about? In this video. Oh, my God. Oh, video. Oh, my God.

Oh, wow. How did that happen? Jerry. I think this is right around Gina. Oh, my God. That's so bad. It was a little shocking when I saw it right there. Lucas, did you quit P.F. Chang's in like a civil way? Or did you go out like guns blazing?

Well, this all happened like a civil way or did you go out like guns blazing um well this all happened like a month and a half ago so a smart person would have kept working and made money but i got the taste of not having to serve so i was giving up like every shift and then i think i no called no showed my last shift yep thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. I didn't know you served. Yeah. Alright, wait. So can you send the PowerPoint to TJ? I did. I think I got to give him that. Jerry, can I ask you a question? Yeah.

You still doing the Steelers podcast? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I still do it. Why is that interesting? Oh, it's just interesting. It's just very interesting. What? It's just interesting. It's not under Barstool. I know. I know. I mean, it's not under Barstool. I know. I know. I mean, it's technically under Barstool. Are you talking about more cowbell?

Remember when Dave wouldn't let me do a podcast? More cowbell? Right. He wouldn't let me do it, but he lets Jerry do it. So bring it back. He lets Jerry do it. Have at it. I don't really ask.

I get 25% of Lucas. You want me to give you 10% to have at it? No, I don't want any of Lucas. All right, I got 25%. We don't use no resources for Barstool. No, I wasn't going to either. He wouldn't let me do it. Just do it anyway. Do it.

Huh? You can't just do it anyway? Do it. Well, I'd like to. You could do anything on your own free time. No, that's not what I was told. No, that's what I think. Do you remember?

Do you remember? I don't remember this conversation specifically, but I'll back you up. I'll back you up and say more cowbell, Greenlit, Lucas said it, 5% of his time. You just said 10. I'm down to 5. I mean, Mississippi State's bad.

It's not about that. How much can you talk about a bad team? Yeah, what if that's the difference? Yeah, you'd think that if Mississippi State was good, more Cowbell wouldn't be bad. I mean, the Steelers aren't good. They have more fans. They're 4-3.

We're all right. But you just said last night that you were laying in bed crying because they weren't any good. I did. Lucas, are you diehard Steelers? I am, sadly. Yeah. Why sadly?

You guys are a good organization. Yeah, but people don't see the other side of it. That's the problem. What do you mean, winning every year? It's not just – like 9-8 is whatever side of that's the problem. What do you mean? Winning every year? It's not just like nine and eight is whatever. Like, that's just mediocre. I feel like a lot of people would disfigure that. No, not for eight straight years.

You wouldn't. Yes! Seeing a couple Super Bowls while you're alive is. That's what hurts. It's all you can ask for, right? You'll be back. No. Steelers. You think you're done seeing for, right? You'll be back? No. Steelers. You think you're done seeing Steelers Super Bowl?

I think we're done. What? You and me? Yeah, me, you, Lucas, I think we're done. We're never going to see one. I don't think so. God damn it. What's the chances of all three of you not? One of us has to. Lucas, how old are you? 22. Oh, Lucas is going to see one. Well, that's what he's saying.

I was like 10. I don't remember the exact year, but I was like 10 when they last won one. So was I really conscious for that? Did I really understand? Yeah, absolutely. I understand the struggles. You were very conscious. The struggles of a...

You had like a bad conjuction that year? Before I got dosed on Halloween. Who's to say? You were 10. Yeah, but I didn't understand how – I didn't realize how good I had it. Yeah. Yeah. You're born into – Ben Roethlisberger was the only quarterback I ever saw until last year.

Are you a Kenny guy? I'm a Kenny guy. Okay. I'm a Kenny rider. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Jerry, are you a Kenny guy? Yeah. a Kenny guy. Okay. I'm a Kenny rider. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Jerry, are you a Kenny guy?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, the things you were saying before the show. Nick, are you a Kenny guy? Come on now. What do you mean? The things you were saying before the show.

Oh, yeah. He has to go out and prove it. He's had 20 games now. He has to go out and throw for multiple touchdowns. Has to throw for. I think you were doubting his injury. Well, I said Ben Roethlisberger played with broken ribs. I was a little concerned why they were bruised and he couldn't go.

I guess when he came out at halftime, he couldn't push the ball downfield, and he said no. I've watched other people, other quarterbacks, play through those type of injuries. That's all I said. Ben Roethlisberger. Big Ben. When's the last time you've texted him?

Kenny? Kenny? Every day. No, I haven't in about a week and a half, two weeks. Uh-oh. Have you ever got a little, you know, a little brazen? Well, the last time we talked, I was like, the season was like rocky. You know what I mean?

So I was like, you know what? I'm not going to push it. I'm going to, you know, the team's not great right now. You know, they're struggling. Let me give them some space. He knows you're there if he needs you. Yeah, of course. He knows. You haven't texted him in two weeks knows you're there if he needs you. Yeah, of course. He knows.

You haven't texted him in two weeks? I mean, I can give you the exact date. Send him a meme. I don't know about that. Send him a meme. Send him a meme. Which meme? Maybe a kitten hanging there? No, no. I think something a little

raunchy. October 9th? When was that? That was about three weeks ago. Three weeks ago. October 9th. Did you leave him on read? No. No.

I didn't leave him on read. No. No, he answered. And then I answered, and that was it. I mean, you have to text him. Text him the... What do you want me to say? Like, how you feeling?

The oven and the chipmunk's head meme. Which one's getting the best head? Just send him, like, three crying emojis. I just texted him. Said, hope your ribs are feeling okay. That's three and a half weeks ago. I just did. I hope so.

Two seconds ago. You're on the text chain. Okay. Yeah. I'll text him, too. You don't have his number. Yeah, I do. How do you have it?

I have all NFL quarterbacks' numbers. Really? Every one? I got it from Dan. That was a good idea somebody had. I forget who had the idea. We should put them all in a group text and do something funny. Yeah.

That'd be really funny. And put it on Bleacher Report where they're talking shit to each other. We should put their phone numbers on the Barstool store. Yeah. On a t-shirt. Black Friday. Yeah, Black Friday. You buy a shirt, you get a quarterback's number.

Random quarterback's number random quarterback's number yeah we can I like that yeah I started the conversation again so we're good yeah I mean

I said why why is Jerry not texting you anymore but don't come on Dan you're gonna huh

bro come on Dan why do you play games like that I mean you should text your friends you're like ruining relationships No I'm not Oh he just wrote back

Thanks man With crying face emojis So we're good That's good I said Kenny it's fucked up Jerry doesn't text you anymore I'll take over I got your back

Hope the ribs are okay You always like to put me in these spots man Well you put yourself in the spot By not texting If my friend didn't text me For two weeks after a loss And a rib injury I'd be like

I wanted to give him space, dude. There's a difference. I'm not trying to be pushy and whatnot. You know what I mean? You could just say, good game. Go get him. You're right. I guess so.

You should be a good friend. I'll be a good friend. If I lose betting and you don't text me, that would be hurt. True. Yeah. Is that thing ready, Titus? I think it's ready. Oh, wow.

I think it's ready for lucas i need like what kind of tools we got back there chay tj i don't think any we need like a wrench of some sort around about there's construction workers yeah there's definitely people that have i mean maybe someone can test it out for tighten this no no we should have somebody test it out oh yeah oh That would have been very funny. But yeah, we're close. We're close. Do you have the PowerPoint, TJ?

Oh, here we go. Let's go. Lucas Ideas presented by Jersey Jerry by Lucas. From the brain tree of Jerry Edits, hashtag business wise, hashtag bully presentation. I haven't seen this in a week or two. You're starting with a thank you. Oh, and this is good. It's a clean design. First, thank you. Thank you for your time this morning or

night. Time is valuable. Second, the debate. Read it, Nick. Second, the debate. Parentheses. Really, really good idea. Bullet point one. JJ versus Chase slash Rico debate sports topics. Second bullet point, third chair moderator is another content person to be determined dressed as a woman. Oh.

Example, Molly on first take. Now, could we find a woman? I think it would be funnier if someone dressed as one. And also, guys. You'd like that phone case of yours, huh? Yeah. Oh. Chair, I don't know what you got yourself into.

I don't know. First take style based on current events in sports. Okay. Wait, this is a really, really good idea. The debate. You had a lot of extra space on the other slide. What a twist. The debate continued.

Why it works. JJ is extremely vocal and passionate about his takes slash feelings on sports. Rico, if he comes to Chicago, is a natural master debater with good chemistry with JJ. Che is much calmer but sticks by his takes no matter what, even when he's in the minority. He always does. Well, not actually.

That's true. A billion people over there. Third member staying quiet, only speaking to moderate, dressed as woman. We'll be quiet. Okay. So even as a man dressed as a okay so we don't we even as a even as a man dresses a woman we don't want them talking that's what you're saying okay as soon as oh it's mickey smokes okay the debate colorized okay yeah pretty good it's crazy have you seen this no i said i said the debate still all? It went the debate.

The debate continued the debate. Yeah, this is great. How When It Works, recorded two times a week, Monday and Wednesday, Thursday. Not a live show. That's smart. That's smart.

Not a live show. Video ideally 12 to 30 minutes long. That is a wide. Not a podcast. Everyone and everyone can make a podcast. So what is this? So like a 12 to 30, because, you know, sometimes you have more... No, but like anyone and anybody can make a podcast.

What is this? Oh, anyone and their mom can make a podcast. Oh. So I'm saying like... This is a video. Yeah. Okay. Kind of a diss to podcasters.

That's okay. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. None of us diss to podcasters. That's okay. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. None of us here have a podcast. Get a wide selection of topics. Ask their opinions beforehand and see what the topics they disagree on and use those for the episode. Could be an extension of the hashtag healthy debate brand or its own thing. For emphasis, especially Rico is part of this.

Okay. That's a good idea. Next idea. Okay. That's a good idea. Next idea. Oh. Jerry plays Michael Jordan. Jerry versus. Jerry versus. Click to add text.

Click to add text. Really good idea. So the other one was really, really. Yep. This one's just really good. A video series centered around JJ challenging fellow employees and professional athletes at various sports. Where? In the bar, stool, sports office, off-site locations.

When? Once a week. How? Matches against other employees will be chosen by random chance, such as the wheel. Matches against athletes will be predetermined, either their sport or multiple. All right. All right. All right. Jerry versus Wyatt works.

Jerry's sneaky athletic, which would make for competitive yet humorous content. Who wouldn't want to watch Jerry 1v1 LeBron? I agree. Yeah, I agree. I absolutely want to watch Jerry 1v1 versus LeBron. He'd never score. He wouldn't?

No, I wouldn't. Oh. Yeah, you're probably not. All right. I had your back there. All right. Might be a stretch to get him. Jerry edits revamp.

This is what we're doing. Madden footage seems to be getting old combined with the fact that people know it's not Jerry. Put Stu in the booth. We could do a Rob Riggle type skit where we try. Oh, is it bad that we're giving this stuff away? Well, this one we're doing right now. So this one is probably. Okay.

We could do a Rob Riggle-type skit where we try to give Jerry's picks on the game of the week in a comedic fashion pre-recorded. Or Jerry could commentate on footage as he is the announcer and add some more entertainment value to the edits. Good idea. Yeah, this should have been a good idea. Yeah, you didn't give this one a chance.

I think I just threw this in after. JJ versus the world. Plenty of opportunity. Jerry attempts to achieve Guinness World Records in various sports. Plenty of opportunity to do this in the new office with a ton of space available. And look, he showed how much space is available.

Yeah, on there. What are some examples? Most touchdowns? That would be JJ versus the sports one. Yeah. What are some examples, like most touchdowns? That would be JJ versus the sports one. Yeah, come on, Kyle. So this is JJ versus the world. So what is a world record in sports? Least amount of points scored against LeBron.

That's probably not a world record. That's Jerry versus. Got it. There's a big area out there. You could do longest shots. I don't have the examples off the dome. I don't think you have enough room for the longest shot. Yeah, probably not. I just took a shot from, like, the top of the Burj Khalifa.

Plano to Dallas. Yeah. I like this. These are good ideas. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, there's more.

Fragrance Friday. Someone new in the office brings fragrances to be reviewed. That's cool. Yeah. That's cool. Does it have to be a cologne? Why didn't you read this, Jerry? I read like the first parts of them.

I didn't get this far. I'm going to put it on the record. I sent it to Jerry. He told me to send it to him. He didn't read it. Okay. I read some. All right.

Is there more, TJ? Yeah. Oh. Smaller ideas. Go ahead, Nick. Sure. Smaller ideas. Rapid reactions after favorite team's games for people at Gambling Cave.

Sickos love watching when your fave teams lose. Immediately after game, have your designated room with a camera where they'll be left alone for a few minutes to vent or praise their team's victory. We'll get best unfiltered genuine reactions and emotions. That's actually pretty good. I like that. Cooking contest.

One person cooks every week for a panel such as the Yak. Video the cooking process and tasting. Worst reviewed has punishment at the end of the season, like taking the SATs. I like that. The smaller ideas are really good. Smaller ideas, the Yak plays God. I like this. I like this.

More to come. There will be more to come. I am just getting started. Okay. Hell yeah. Is that the last slide? no tj yeah that was your you got some good ideas thank you appreciate that really really good ideas really really good self-proclaimed and some really good ideas yeah and some just ideas small ideas small ideas no ideas too small too. I'd agree with that. All right.

Are there ideas that are too small? Podcast. KB trying to smoke himself miniature. Oh, yeah. That's way too small. Way too small. Yeah. Okay.

What did you want to do in social work? Well, my degree is in psychology, and i was graduating in the summer so i like didn't have a lot of programs to choose from social work was the closest to like uh like therapy that i could get in the time frame i was in so because you can do a lot with a social work degree you can't do as much with like a psychology so i was just trying to do something i could you know if i didn't want to do therapy that was what i the goal was but if i didn't want to i could switch it up the social works very broad yeah right that's like kids autism that could be stuff yeah stuff

like that you don't make nothing no nothing nothing yeah minimum wage but boring people too i was the happiest when I made minimum wage. Whoa. That's a fact. There ain't no way. I've said that on record multiple times. We have a golf simulator you're going to play for 10 hours a day. Yeah, you don't.

I get what you're saying. Yes, I get it. But, like, I didn't have, like, no worries. Your world is small. You don't have worries right now. How many worries you got? Oh, I have. Like, what?

Every worry. You have every worry? Every worry. worries you got? Oh, I have. Like what? Every worry. You have every worry? Every worry. If there was a worry, I have it. Like list one worry. Getting to work on time in the morning. Coming too fast. Okay, that's a good worry.

Like when you're making minimum wage, you're not even coming. What do you mean? Like you're not having sex with girls. Oh, true. True. I didn't think about that. What yearly are you coming to? Like, what pay do you need to start worrying about coming?

60 a year? 80. 80? Anything under 80, you don't have to worry about it? Exactly, yeah. You would rather not nut than nut too fast. Exactly. I would say 80 a year, you're fighting for your life.

You're thinking of your dead grandpa. Yeah. You just got to keep, yeah You just got to keep her happy. What other worries you got? How much are you going to spend at the grocery store? What's the budget this week? Stuff like that. Like, you're making minimum wage.

It's like, whatever. You're eating ramen noodles. It's like, there is no budget. Okay. I kind of actually see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Like, stuff like that. Simpler life.

Okay. For instance. More money, more problems. Exactly. Yardwork I mean? Stuff like that. Simpler life. Okay, for instance. More money, more problems. Exactly. Yard work, right? I was paying somebody to do it. And I say, you know what? Fuck that.

I'm capable of doing it. Let me just go do it. And I was out there the other day for about seven hours doing it. And it was miserable. How big of a yard you got? The leaves are the problem. You have to rake them and bag them. And I was like, dude, I never even had a yard when I was making minimum wage.

Right. Those are the type of things I'm getting at. Got it. Now there's every worry. So do you want a pay cut? Is that where you're getting with it? This seems like a bad negotiation tactic. I don't want a pay cut.

I think you want your mom to move out to Chicago and be your landlord. No. No. Okay. I'm tired of her. Oh, she's here right now. Yeah, she to Chicago and be your landlord. No. No. Okay. I'm tired of her. She's here right now. Yeah, she's here. She's here.

Yeah. She's just loud. She like the house? Loves it. Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Crying and stuff.

It was good. It was good. Yeah. All right. So yeah. But don't you have more? Like right now, you have more. Significantly less.

Right. Like cavemen, they didn't worry about anything. They just had to kill their food and procreate. Yeah. Yeah all they worried about i can't even have no worries i have worries but i don't think i don't i think that's more responsibility kids and shit it's like life i guess yeah what oh it's two i'm not on here, though. No, you are. Oh, I am? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think what Jerry's talking about, it's absolutely growing up.

I mean, he's an adult child because of his past history and afflictions and diseases. I can relate to that. The only time I ever worried in my life, I don't worry. I just don't give a fuck. But when I ran the marathon, and then I bought an eight ball for my for my son my oldest and then i'm snorting it off my from or for from okay because he said dad after you know he says i got because i wanted great pot after i ran the marathon but then i said then he said i got i got great blow so i said all right let's go so then you know that night i run the marathon i fucking kill it tiki barber barely

beats me and um i'm snorting the coke off my um wedding picture because what else are you gonna snort it off of right yeah so then sandy's not real keen on coke and uh so then he my son asked for a favor for money and i finally shut him down because that's all he ever does and is my oldest. And he rats me out to my wife that I snorted a fucking eight ball. So I come back to the house and her bags are packed in the bedroom. I'm like, are we going on vacation?

It's got dark fat. And she's like, no, I'm leaving you because you're a co-cad. I'm like, Sandy, I've snorted coke twice since we fucking got married in 28. She goes, well, if you ever do it again, we're done. So that was the only time I really. So your worry is.

My worry is that I'm going to get bored doing eight balls. You might do coke again. Got it. Got it. That's kind of a. Can we rewind to the very beginning? Yeah. Jerry's a child.

No, no. Adult. Like, we're addicts. Okay. Me and Jerry. Right. We're actual gutter drunks. We're addicts. Yeah, yeah, adult, like, we're addicts. Okay. Me and Jerry, right? We're actual gutter drunks. We're addicts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of that, we had a stunted growth when we grew up. Physically? Mentally. Okay. Well, physically, yes. Look at us. We're 5'6".

We haven't grown. I'm 5'4", 3 quarters. If I'm 2 inches short, I'd be perfectly round. But I'm dead serious. What I'm saying is that emotionally emotionally addicts don't grow up addicts don't deal with any stress addicts don't want and anything can overwhelm an addict to put him in a circle to go back to his substance but i think what jerry's saying like how many years you got sober almost nine okay so in other words and how many years we got sober? Almost nine. Okay. So in other words, and how many years were you active?

Four. Right. So four years. Four years is equivalent to losing 12 years of real life. Oh, my God. Is that true? 100% true. I know it because I've been in rooms my whole life.

But what Jerry's saying, though, I feel like Jerry, like, he's very sensitive is my point. Growing up is like, yeah, you add. I don't think it's worries. It's sensitive listen to what he said i had more responsibilities than i did when i was 22 that doesn't mean it's like worse yeah but like i don't know i guess you're right no but i mean like having a house having a kid like those are responsibilities but you never get worried like oh my god like no what what you're sharing is No old people are happy with that Jerry No old people don't think like you just shared Because it's overwhelming

You never worry like If I die Who's taking care of all these things Right like no one Not really That's a dark thought It's an addict thought It's an addict thought He might be right He's a recovery thought it's an attic thought where to go it's too bad i thought you're

not he might be right i mean no no no he's a recovery addict he's in the rooms he has a sponsor but what i'm saying is i i only could tell you from my experience i've been an addict since 17 that your mental way you look at life is not the way other people look at life i like i like how we're having like a semi-deep conversation and I look over and Titus is just building a unicycle. Nose deep in a fucking unicycle. Big Cat, can I ask something? First of all, I saw the new office.

It's incredible. It's absolutely fabulous. It's amazing. It's nice that finally you have your own space. So that you could fire Max. But be that as it may. He's right about that. What I want to ask is that, has anyone fucked here yet?

No. Yes. Oh, you have? No. Someone has? No. I don't think. So no one has?

No. So if I fuck Sandy right now here, I'll be the first person to break. I smelled sex Tuesday morning upstairs. Oh, so I want to be the first. I'm not the first. Nobody's fucked downstairs. We probably need to ask

Nicky Smokes. Yeah. Nicky Smokes definitely fucked here. Probably. I would say. Wait, Titus, how's the unicycle coming?

We got some nuts we need to tighten and we don't have wrenches to tighten them. We got to find a wrench. It's a billion percentage. I got a piss. I'll find a wrench.

I got a piss too. Lucas, go find us a wrench. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Lucas will get us a wrench. I got a piss. I'll find a wrench. I got a piss, too. Lucas, go find us a wrench. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Lucas will get us a wrench. The bathrooms are beautiful, by the way. Yeah, bathrooms are nice. Bathrooms are beautiful.

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a pack near you i'm gonna miss these when they're gone but i'm taking advantage while they're here yeah yeah max forgot to press a button today just one button one but but he did everything else right yeah but that's the most important button. It's like forgetting to pull your dick out when you're in your journal. You can't do that. Yeah.

Yeah. Got my whole day off on the wrong foot. So you woke up before everybody else. I woke up at 6.30, saw everyone tweeting at me being like,

where's the show? Where's the show? And in that moment, they hate you. Hate. Hate. It's the most important button to press. The upload button.

Yeah. And then I called Max. He didn't pick up. Called memes. He did pick up. And then he pressed the button. Okay. Where was the button?

I think it's just, maybe it's at Max's house. Max has the button. Yeah. Damn. You have to press the button. What's the penalty? I don't know. We just did advisors, great advisors coming up, me, Stu, and Jerry.

My problem is I'm too big of a pussy. Yeah. I don't think so. I think you just need the right penalty. How did he express, like, sorry? He said, I'm so sorry, and I was like, it's okay as long as it doesn't happen again. But, like, that's a pussy thing for me to say. Did he have an explanation as to why it happened?

Did he fall asleep on the job? Yeah, he just fucked up. But, like, that's a pussy thing for me to say. Did he have an explanation as to why it happened? He just fucked up. Yeah, he just fucked up. But I don't have it in me to like... What would someone better than you do? I feel like there's definitely... Like if this happened at Fox... Yeah. Yeah.

Like you might be fired. Oh, you're fired. Yeah. Yeah. And I obviously don't want to be Fox. And I also like, I love Max. So there's never even a world where I was like, oh, he's fired. But there's got to be another level of me being a giant pussy and fired.

There's got to be something in the middle. I think every Eagles game, you have to make him squat along with Jalen Hurts every snap. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. But it didn't actually cost you money that it was late. It was just a very big

inconvenience. Listen, I know it didn't, it probably didn't, but I, and maybe this is just me being a psycho. I do believe that there are,

I don't know, things that you should never do wrong. Say a hundred people who didn't see it there and then they listen to another show and that's that. And that show.

They're not coming back. Yeah. Maybe that's a psycho thing for me to think, but that is kind of how I'm wired. Like you have to be there for people constantly. Are the Phillies an excuse for Max? Just being a hundred percent on point. He also,

there's a part of this. He might've also been given a little bit of a bonus yesterday oh no and then this happens oh no but he doesn't listen even though he did make a mistake here and you did threaten him that he said I didn't

oh it'll never happen again I just said it can't happen again right so I mean that's a threat that's a threat I guess so but but the problem is he knows me that I'm a pussy. So if it happens again, what do I do? But it's never happened again. Never happened again. Wait, what did he do? He does great content.

He didn't press the button. That's the worst nightmare. Yeah, but like that is my worst nightmare. That is your one thing. Like Max does a ton of stuff. I love Max. He's incredible at his job. He's great for the show.

You got to press the button. This feels like an easy thing to not fuck up like you can just literally look at the feet you can't go to sleep until the buttons are pressed never mind the button you can just see you go to the feed is it on the feed if it also it's not on the feed right button has not been pressed it's also really bad because like it would he would get a little bit more slack if it was a sunday night because we finished recording at like midnight and they don't stop editing until 3 in the morning. We finished the whole show at 4 p.m. yesterday. That button's got to be pressed.

He's just pressing the button later. You've got to run him or something. Yeah, I've got to do something, right? Because I think I'm a mark. I think I'm a mark as a boss figure where people know that deep down I don't really have it in me to like just a natural internal leeway feeling that everyone at Barstool has cuz it's Barstool like Oh, I'll show up, you know, you should do to this show cuz I know that I can That's actually fashionable when you do it like I like to pull it off. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you should do a big cat You should send them to perth for 28 hours we did that because you've been doing a really good job your gift what about that ice box over

there oh yeah there is a walking freezer oh yeah i'm sure you take someone's clothes off you put them in the ice box for four hours they'll fucking never not press a button again there's a debt but here big head i can i can i can i offer a suggestion because when i ran a big place when i had 220 full and part-time people work for me, I was not able to confront someone and either fire them or reprimand them properly. I either cut their heart out or I just became like a pussy. But what I did is I hired a bulldog. Like an actual one?

Maybe Jerry could be your bulldog that if someone needs a riot act, Jerry reads them the riot act. No, I like people. I'm too nice. I like people. All right, so there's got to be some scumbag here that doesn't give a fuck about, Jerry reads them the riot act. No, I like people. I'm too nice. I like people. Alright, so there's gotta be some scumbag here that doesn't give a fuck about no one. Hey, Stu. Stu, we have a chair. Oh, really? Should I go sit? You can go sit.

Brandon, did you find a wrench? You don't need the mic. The wrench will be delivered. What? Delivered? Oh, is that a euphemism? No, the construction. Honey! Got the wrench on the way. My god, there's a lot of juice in those hands. I'm going to have to deliver the wrench. The construction guy is coming over with the wrench in a minute.

All right. There's the trampoline park right over there. Yeah, there is. Sid Max over there. I like the squatting every time Jalen Hurts squats. Yeah, just play along. Because it's Cowboys this week. Oh, it's a lot of squats.

Just have him don't watch the game. The button's got to be pressed. I don't really know. What type of button are we talking about? I think it's just a... On our website's back end, you have to publish the podcast. The don't fuck up button. Oh, so he recorded the pod. Everything was set.

I called memes at 7 in the morning, and memes were like, oh yeah, he didn't press the button. Let me press the button. And then it was up in 10 minutes. Do you think there's one part of my Take fan that said, this is it. I'll never listen. I do. I do.

And maybe this is the psycho in me, but I do think consistency, being there for people, is very important. Schedule. We are consistently there in your phone. You break that, the whole world might crumble. I think he's got to get a blonde streak in his hair. Okay. He does have to get, oh no, PFT's got to get a perm. Yeah, PFT does have to get a perm.

Okay, well, yeah, I don't know. We'll figure it out. I don't, he's built up enough equity that I don't like think that a real punishment, but there is that nagging feeling of like, I'm too – like if I was harder, I feel like the button would always get pushed. Yeah. You know? Like there would never be a non-push button.

You're a player's coach. I'm a player's coach. He's Mike Tomlin. Yeah. He's Mike Tomlin. Maybe I need – you know what? Maybe I just buy a button and we make him push it for the entire stream. Yeah. Just like memory just pushing

the button yeah just the entire stream he's got to push one million presses of a button how long would that take you could just put him in put him in the middle here put him with a button and every one of you get in his face and just scream press the button yeah like push the fucking button conversion therapy yeah one job! Push the button! When's the last time you, like, threatened a man? Like, literally threatened someone? Yeah, like a real threat. Put your hands on them.

Like, on a telephone or in person? In person. I mean, a real threat? Like, I'm just gonna follow through with it? Like, I had my gun cocked and loaded? Yeah. Probably a decade. Okay.

I mean, really, like, I was willing to go to jail and whatever the consequences face it. Was it, like, fatal? Like, a deadly threat? No, a guy owed me money, didn't want to pay. Every time we turn around this is building no no no i think it's very funny it's like we're having all these conversations serious

conversations and you just pan and titus is we talked about addiction and then like threats yeah building the funniest what mode of transportation wait is it set? We're still waiting on the wrench for the nuts on the bottom, which are... KB, hop on that thing. What is that called?

The unicycle? It's the unicycle. You can try it. I've tried to do it. It's impossible to do. I was never capable. KB's going to be the best here. By far.

For sure. Okay. Yeah, that way. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's way better. Oh, that was a real... That sucks. Pro move.

What? It sucked? Do I have to put the seat down? And then struggle to clamp it? Wait, is the tire going to fall up? It's going to go right through the TV. That would be funny. It's going to happen.

Oh, God. I think you have to start bipedaling and jump on. Like, yeah, push forward and jump on. This is so not a good idea. Okay. You're good. You're good. Okay.

Oh, I think we need some air in that tire. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, that tire is flat. The tire is so flat. You're never going to do it. It's flat. The tire is flat. You got it, Kyle.

You kind of need like a running start. And you got to be careful of your penis. You have to be careful of your penis and get a running start. Yep. What are you doing, man? Oh. I don't even know what you're doing now. Oh, shit.

That's embarrassing. That was almost so unnatural. What is your sweatshirt? The Ravens. I love the Ravens. I didn't even notice it. I love the Ravens. I didn't even notice it. I love those Ravens. I didn't notice it?

No. That's one of the more subtle sports shirts. Yeah. That's a fire sweatshirt. That is a sick sweatshirt. Can someone else show how hard that is? I'll give it a go. What if Mook just does it?

Yeah. Need a bike pump. Do we have a bicycle it? Yeah. I need a bike pump. Do we have a bicycle pump? Yeah, we need a pump. It wasn't the air thing. I just wouldn't be able to do it. I can't imagine a carpet as a great surface to unicycle. It's so hard.

That's as low as it goes, it looks like. I guess it's as low as it goes. Did you ever do that, JJ? No. I don't even know if I know how to ride a bike. What? You know how to ride a bike, Jerry. I haven't rode a bike in forever. But you can't forget. But it's literally riding a bike. Min know how to ride a bike. What? You know how to ride a bike, Jerry. I haven't rode a bike in forever.

But you can't forget. It's literally riding a bike. Mincy can't ride a scooter. Well, there's a lot of things. Okay. Have you ever tried that, Brandon? This was as good of an idea as that one. No, Brandon and I are in the category of catastrophic.

Oh, no, I'm saying have you ever in your past life? No, no, no. Catastroph catastrophic injury. Oh, no, I'm saying have you ever in your past life had a catastrophic injury? Just topple over, bike in your ass, face broken. Oh! That was it.

That was it. You got to start one at the top and then step down on it. Yeah. Oh! I think the fact that it's flat is not rolling after you put your weight on it

the flat's the problem I do think this was a great idea though for the office having this lay around in the gym when we get this thing open is going to be awesome unicycle Fridays who can ride it the longest big cat is there a gym here an actual gym

we're going to buy some gym oh I actually have to text Pete and ask him if I'm going to buy it myself. Yes, we're going to get squat rack and weights and everything. Awesome. Phenomenal. All right. There you go. You got this.

You want me to come hold the unicycle? You got to get the unicycle up more vertical. You guys got them. Good friends. Ready? Oh. There you go. Okay, yeah. This is exactly Ready? Oh. There's a nut. There's a nut on the ground.

That fell. That was close. Hey, Che, by the way, welcome back from your suspension. Thank you. Happy to be back. Oh, hell yeah. Okay, I like this. Boys roughhousing. Okay, I like this. Boy's roughhousing. All right, I'll let go.

Strong KB. He's got a good lower gravity. We'll call that a draw. Okay. Brandon's got force. He's a monster, Brandon, if he got mad. He's a monster. He is.

Are you the strongest person in this place if you got mad? Huh? Yes. By far, right? Not by far. But you are. I'm stronger than you. In an anger situation, I'm much stronger than you. Oh, yeah. He's the strongest brute strength. Like if you put him in this corner right now.

The problem is stamina because I'm out now. You can't breathe right now. The problem is stamina because I'm out now. Oh. I'm out. You can't breathe right now. Oh, correct. That's the worst feeling in the world, not being able to breathe. Yeah.

It's tough. Probably. When you choked me out last year, that was horrible when I couldn't breathe. When I choked you out? Yeah. When? During sports advisors. What happened?

First, you threatened my life that if you ever do anything, you said to me, I'm going to fuck you up. When? During sports advisors. What happened? First, you threatened my life that if you ever do anything, you said to me, I'm going to fuck you up. I would fuck you up. I would fuck you up. Oh, yeah. We were play fighting. You slapped me and then I choked you out. Correct. I didn't mean to actually connect, but you came at me. And then I had to choke you out. Oh, wow. You did choke me out. I did have to choke you out.

I thought that was going to get serious. It was terrible. You lost consciousness? Well, what happened was this. We were slap fighting and I had a little bit of an edge, and I really thought long term, this is a bad idea for me to win this. So then I went to try to pick Big Cat up and five minutes carry him, which was my major move when I was a wrestler.

Instead, he just fucking choked me out. It might have been the worst move I ever made. I went down under his legs. Did you tap? You didn't tap. Damn straight, I tapped. You would not let it made. I went down under his legs. Did you tap? You didn't tap. Damn straight I tapped. You would not let it go until I tapped. That's right.

That's right. I was choking for a good 15 seconds, and then I tapped. No, you said. That's correct. You said to me, as a man, I'll let you out. Just tap. Tap. Yeah, you got to tap.

And I tried to weasel out of it, and I could not. Respect the tap. Could not. Choke him out. Yeah. Respect the tap. Yeah. It's a good idea for max

punishment ufc guy come in he's gonna lose max is big you ain't choking max he's gonna get punished he's gonna just lose put him on ozempic that would be the worst thing ever buy ozempic and what do you get hot he gets he gets skinny and hot he's never gonna get skinny he will be throwing up with headaches i think that i think you're the only one who tried to beat Ozempic. No, I think people are so vain that they don't tell the real story about the drug. Agreed. Believe me, I tell everything. If I could have lost weight and it was good, I would have.

You said it gave you delusions? I was delusional. I was like, I had a headache. I felt like I was on a bluefish chart about throwing up in 20-foot swells. I was diseased. It was gross. Do you think maybe you were withdrawing from food? No, no, no.

Stu's leaving out the part. I ate the wrong things on it. Stu's leaving out the part. I didn't know you're not supposed to eat on it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure with Ozempic, you're not supposed to try to beat Ozempic. No fried foods. No ham. He tried to go Yeah, I'm pretty sure with Ozempic, you're not supposed to try to beat Ozempic. No fried foods. No ham. He tried to go mano-a-mano versus Ozempic.

Eat his normal diet. I don't really understand it, but it feels like everyone who said it, it's like suppresses your appetite. And Stu was like, no, you can't suppress my appetite. I'm going to beat you. Right? I went to eat a meal and I couldn't. And I felt like a eunuch. I felt like someone cut my balls off. Like, who am I? I to beat you. Right? Like I went to the I went to eat a meal and I couldn't and I felt like a eunuch. I felt like someone

cut my balls off. Like who am I? I can't eat. So I'd rather just die of diabetes. We're hot on eunuchs. Steven, how did you deal with your suspension?

It's tough. A lot of public criticism. It's called the worst tweet ever. You guys talked about on the rundown on here. But live to play the next play quarterback mentality will you be tweeting any coats this weekend if i see one i'm not gonna force it but

if i see you for you then force it yeah can you jay was there any truth to my theory that you have a database of jokes at the ready and you just cut and paste them into occasions. Not true. I will say I did personally workshop that tweet for about three minutes before sending it. And that was my best option. I didn't bounce it off anyone. It was just, you know. If that's your best option, don't send it. Don't press send.

Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait. So you saw the picture. And what went through your head? Like, he looks like a stern teacher. No, see that. I mean, obviously teachers don't physically look like J.J. Watt. There's more commenting on his outfit. They don't dress like that either.

What subject did he teach? I had a math. Maybe Miss Frizzle wore that once before they went in a dude's ass. I had multiple teachers growing up that had coats like that. Multiple. Name three. Miss Wagstaff. She did. Wait, she had a hot pink suit

with a kerchief. It was like a loose sports coat, but yes. She was probably 90 pounds. And would she say, can you? Yes. So did you think that reference would land on a lot of people? You think a lot of people had teachers that looked like that? Dude, if people in

my middle school follow me, that thing would crush. All the Miss Wagstaff class was going crazy. Yes, for sure. If you put Dave Portnoy with glasses on and a suit, I always thought he looked like a social studies teacher. If you didn't know that, he was the mega mega.

He looks like a social studies teacher. I can see that. Maybe. With glasses, it looks exactly... Well, I thought so. Yeah. I guess anyone with glasses. Yeah, I guess that's true.

Nerds. What is it about glasses that... Just makes you look like a nerd why yeah why is that you can't see yeah you're stupid fucking idiot you want to punch in the face they'll break you can't see but how is that how does that make you smart that you have fucked up eyes i just think it's because most nerds have glasses therefore glasses become smart why do most nerds have glasses yeah i don't understand the correlation if you really think about it like a guy a guy has fucked up eyes so he's putting shit on his face to help his fucked up eyes.

And therefore, I now, by default, think he's smart. Maybe because he's always reading. What are you doing right now, Titus? What are you doing? He's right. He's chicken and egging. I don't know how that started. Don't do this.

You're going too far. Okay, sorry. No questions. Don't question what has been a rule of life for hundreds of years. You're not a nerd, bro. What? Titus questions this and the entire world crumbles. Wait, why are they nerds?

There's just a bunch of bad vision people uprising everywhere. Fuck you guys. Yeah, Titus was right. He finally spoke to us. Yeah, why are we nerds? Because you guys told us. Yeah, Titus was right. He finally spoke to us. Yeah, why are we nerds? Because you guys told us. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, that is one of those ones. We just don't ask. I don't know the chicken egg situation with that one. It had to be like some weakling, some actual nerd. In cartoons, the guy with the glasses is always smart. I guess, who invented glasses? Ben Franklin? Is he the guy?

He was the bifocals. So, yes? No, the glasses is always smart. I guess, who invented glasses? Ben Franklin? Is he the guy? He was the bifocals. So, yes? No, I think glasses existed already. What the fuck? What was that? Bifocals are different. Bifocals are different. These aren't bifocals.

That's when the lenses are split. It's like half short, half long. All right. Yeah, but they already existed. He took the glasses and changed them a little bit. He split the lenses. Salvino DiMarte. Bifocals aren't glasses?

No. Yeah, what? Okay, so now you are DiMarte. Bifocals aren't glasses? No. Yeah, what? Okay, so now you are a fucking nerd. Bifocals are glasses, but glasses existed. He just took them and made them. These aren't bifocals. What are bifocals? Bifocals are lenses that have two different visions. So if you want to see far, you look on the top half. If you want to see close, you look at the bottom half. Oh. Yeah, so a lot of

people got myopia from not being outside and instead reading And looking at tech Is that what that says? I wouldn't hate having transition lenses They become sunglasses Those are cool Steve You have those?

Of course he has No I've been wanting to get them For like two years though Why don't you? Man I would say The two biggest nerds on the show Do wear glasses Yeah Fuck Yeah And Kb when he gets on his nerd shit he puts him on yeah stew i love you i love you stew you want to put your finger in it you want to put your finger in

a mousetrap no i don't i i'm good with i'm good with emotional pain, not physical pain. Okay. Emotional pain. You're good with, like, heartbreak? No, like, let's say we leave, and we're on the way to the airport, and the Uber's coming, and a train ran over Sandy. She's dead. It would hurt, but I can get over that. You want to put your wife in a mouthful? If you kick me in my balls, I would be a bitch for about a week.

You're not getting over that, yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. You have a high emotional pain. You're not getting over that. Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. You have a high emotional pain. No, that makes perfect sense. Right?

Love your life, guys. You're one of those personalities. I can deal with any emotional pain. You can figure in a mousetrap. Physical pain, just not me. Like, you grab me, you put me in a headhook, stop punching me in the face. I'm immediately grabbing your balls

and putting you on the floor and choking you out because I can't deal with the emotional pain. It's one of the reasons I was not an A-plus athlete. I stayed a C-plus with a big heart. Right. Because you need to be in pain. Yeah, yeah. I mean, all the time.

Yeah. Is anyone a great athlete here? Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Were you in pain? Huh? Yeah.

You played in pain all the time. All the time. You're not good with physical pain. All the time. I played in pain all the time. All the time. You're not good with physical pain. All the time. I played through it all the time. But that's what I mean. You have to have that mentality. It's horrible.

I don't know how people do it. You know what I just thought of? I'm a bitch. What'd you think of? You could put glasses on any girl and they get hotter. Rachel Lee Cook. I thought you had to take the glasses off. I thought that was the truth.

No, I think it's you gotta keep the glasses on. Well, yeah, you did. I thought it was like you remove the glasses and you're like, holy shit, that was hot the whole time. No, no, I think you take the nerd's glasses off, she becomes hot. But if you put glasses on a hot girl, she gets hotter. Oh, but that's just that librarian look. Sexy librarian. That's just a hot chick being a hot chick.

Yeah, she's a hot librarian. No, I'm in a tight fit for sure. I think you could put glasses on any girl. Any girl. But he's right. At the end of She's All That, he did take the glasses off, and he was like, fuck. Yeah. This girl's hot.

That's the trope, is you take them off. Katy Perry. Yeah. I think it's just we like novelty. It would be the same as like we're more excited about a very hot redhead just because they have red hair. Nope. Shout out Julianne Moore.

Big shout out. Oh, shut up. God, I love her. Chain jessica chastain another 10 love her christina hendrix oh jessica chastain is the heavy heavy jessica chastain is smart did you see the movie with with it was uh liam neeson julian moore and amanda seidfried where she fucked Liam Neeson for Julianne Moore because she convinced Julianne Moore

Liam Neeson was cheating and then Julianne Moore ate Amanda. And then also Amanda fucked Julianne Moore's son. Do you ever see that movie? No spoilers. I guess I don't have to anymore. Amanda Sarkar. What do you mean she ate?

It's one of the greatest movies ever. She made someone fuck and then ate her? She ate Julianne Moore's pussy in the movie. Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore. I mean, that is one of the greatest scenes ever. Amanda Seyfried was eating Julianne Moore's pussy. Ever. Yeah, it's Paw Patrol 2.

That's not the movie. It was a great movie. TJ, Chloe, can you please? I'm telling you right now, that movie was a 10. If you're a pervert and you like watching women eat women, which who doesn't? You have to put another word in there. They eat the pussy. Oh, fair enough.

We thought she literally ate her. Like a monster. No, just the pussy. Oh, fair enough. We thought she literally ate her. Like a monster. No. Just the pussy. She was like the worst person ever, Amanda, too. It was amazing. It was amazing. And she was just really lapping it up.

It was great. It was one of the greatest scenes I've ever seen. See, for me, I don't like a scene where they show everything. I want clothes on, and that's how I want like a scene where they show everything. Yeah. I want clothes on. Yeah. And that's how I want it. Leave something to the imagination.

A hundred percent. It's just, you know, I don't like watching, you know, a guy bang a girl for 40 minutes with a 10-inch penis. Doesn't work for me. Doesn't work. I still get a little nervous. I get penis envy. When, like, nude scenes come on in movies.

Same. Yeah. I get a little nervous, like, oh, this is weird. I fast forward through them alone sometimes. I compare how realistic it actually is. I'm like, is this... Compared to what? Am I fucking like this or no?

No. You're not fucking like that. No, never. Not even close. But I do respect the depiction. Yeah. I've never seen a dude trying to find it in a movie.

It's like sliding around. It's so quick. It's always just right under the covers. Am I wearing leggings? Wait, stand up. What the fuck? I thought I was wearing sweatpants.

Am I wearing leggings? Are you wearing the leggings? They look like ski pants. They look like ski pants. Do you have pockets? I've been awake for fucking nine hours, and I just looked down at my leggings. Oh, you feel them. That's spandex.

You forgot to wear leggings. I'm wearing leggings. I literally just looked down and was like, what the fuck? Look at the seam on the side. Am I wearing leggings right now? Those are... Were they hanging up in your closet? I don't fucking know.

I mean, you got to feel. That's leggings. No, I swear to God. We just did advisors. We did everything. I did... They pick them. I'm wearing leggings. No, I swear to God. We just did advisors. We did everything. I did... They pick them. Yeah.

I'm wearing leggings. That's a do-rag. What the fuck is going on? Stand up and spin. It's because Matt didn't press the button. It's a twirl. You were off. Okay.

Are there back pockets? Wait, wait. Okay. There is a back pocket. No, they look like... Those must be the... No, those are sweatpants. Okay. Weird material. No, it's the way I was sitting, I think. No, they look like... Those are sweatpants. Weird material.

The way I was sitting, I think, I looked when I was like this, and they were all taut. Like, I fucking put on leggings today. That's pretty funny. Damn. That would have been a bad scene. I think these are sweatpants. How awesome is it that we can just wear fucking sweatpants?

That's the best part. Love it. Imagine wearing a suit every day. It's worth all the worries. We should do that. That's what Max has to do. Yes. We should also do suit week just to give everyone a reminder of how good we have it. That's a good boss move. Yeah.

Every once in a while. Everyone's got to bring a suitcase. You've got to be in at 8.30, out at 5.30. But I think some people like that. It gives them an extra boost in the morning. I think there's something to be said for having a differentiator between work and home. Where it's like, I come home, I take off my suit. Because I'm just wearing leggings all the time. So there's no transition period for me.

Right, there's no getting comfortable no transition period for me right there's no getting comfortable right i'm always comfortable yeah which i guess saying that people are probably watching being like fuck you guys but listen it's tough life here you don't take your shoes off immediately when i get home yeah most of the time yeah that's not all the time that's the that's the way to get comfortable at home immediately right right? Just take the shoes off? Yeah, I guess so. Slippers would be nice. Robe. I don't have slippers.

You don't have slippers? I don't have slippers either. I need slippers and a robe. I don't have either of those. Do you have a robe? No robe. I don't have slippers. I think I need slippers too.

But now that I'm in this cold, cold, cold place, I walked outside last night and realized I was barefoot. I was like, that's very stupid. What do you mean, boy. What do you mean? Yeah, boy. What do you mean you realized? I realized that I needed something to wear. It's going to get back in the 50s.

You ever step on a slug barefoot? Oh, yeah. It sucks. Yeah. Yuck. You're gross. It's going to get back in the 50s. We are getting 50s?

Yeah. Yeah, this week. This is a quick. I got to get in the lake and get my boat out. Oh, yeah. That'll take 10 seconds. Well, I got to get in the lake and get my boat out. Oh, yeah. That'll take 10 seconds. Well, I got to have another guy help me push it out. I can help you.

I've been wanting to go fishing. No, I got a friend. The lake. We could go fishing, Jerry. I don't. Sounds like you didn't want me to go fishing with you. I haven't caught a fish in a couple months. I wouldn't know where to find them in the lake right now.

Gotcha. So you can come. But I got a guy coming to help me take it out. You can just pull put a rope yeah at the uh the bow yeah and then just walk up the hill well it's not a hill it's a it's a ramp that's elevated that's the definition of a ramp we're back at 50 tomorrow boys but boys i have to lift the ramp doesn't go all the way to the water it's about it's about two feet above the water so i have to pull the top the front of the boat up to the ramp The ramp doesn't go all the way to the water. It's about two feet above the water. So I have to pull the front of the boat up to the ramp.

Your boat doesn't have a handle on it? No. I mean, it's very heavy. It's a very big boat. It's a very big boat. How big is the boat? It's huge. It's so small, Stu.

It's so small. Titus, you've been on my boat. I have, so I can confirm it is a tiny boat. Yeah. You could pull the boat out easily. You don't need another man to help you do it. You sat in the boat. I have, so I can confirm it as a tiny boat. You could pull the boat out with one hand. You don't need another man to help you. I sat in the front. Could we have touched?

No. We couldn't have touched. We couldn't have touched? If we stepped to each other, yes. We could high-five. We could not high-five sitting there. You were in the back seat. I was in the front seat. We could not have high-fived. We were handing each other the fishing pole back and forth.

That's a fishing pole. You could only fit one fishing pole in your boat? No, I had three. I had three. Titus, I forgot to ask. How'd it go yesterday? Oh, the trick-or-treating? Yeah.

It was great. I brought in the leftovers. Oh, what the hell? That's a big bucket. Wow, there must be so much candy in there. I brought in all the leftovers for Kyle. That's just all the joy. Oh be so much candy and I brought in all the leftovers for college all the joy I need everyone with an open mind to taste test and almond joy right now and sincerely say that it sucks

Oh, yeah, do we should run back? What candy am I eating? Oh my god? I should say I should say I should say I put razors in half of those Oh big guys you so somebody put a nail in a Tootsie Roll last night. What? Yep. Oh, there's new fat adult videos stealing candy. I actually was thinking about it last night before I went to bed. This is how sick I am.

I'm like so excited to put a razor blade in something that KB eats. Oh, yeah. I thought about it more. I have no idea when it's going to happen. I was a little cocky, but. But you're still cool with the plan? I think so. Okay.

I think I could try. Maybe something. No, let could try. Maybe something... No, let's try. So, complaint number one before you even eat it. It's just one fat-ass almond on top. It's not like... Well, it's not almonds, Joy. Okay.

All right, just take a whole bite with the almond included. It's not within the candy bar. I have a statement to make. This is good. Yeah. It is good. It tastes like Samoas. You're right. Which you can't say no to. Yeah, it is good. It tastes like Samoas.

You're right. Which you can't say. I love it. Stu loves it. Did you leave your bucket out? No. You gave them all out? Yeah.

Not to pat myself on the back too much. A lot of jackpot comments. A lot of kids like going, oh, jackpot, jackpot. Kids ain't saying jackpot. You know what you gotta do? You're a fuck. I caught you right in the line. Jackpot. All right, jackpot. You know what you gotta do next year? This happened on a couple of houses I took my kids to.

The people were sitting up on their stoop and they had a big PVC pipe and it fucking launched the candy into their bucket so they didn't have to walk up the steps. People were sitting up on their stoop, and they had a big PVC pipe, and it fucking launched the candy into their bucket, so they didn't have to walk up the steps. An Almond Joy only has one almond? Yeah, that's what I said.

This looks like the land speeder from Star Wars. This is a mini Almond Joy, though. This is not a real Almond Joy. Looks like Lance Armstrong's dick. It has three almonds, a real Almond Joy. Did you see the guy that did two-liter sodas for Halloween? Oh, yeah. This is tiny. But this is a mini Almond Joy. This guy was awesome, TJ sodas for Halloween? Oh, yeah. This is tiny. But this is a mini Almond Joy.

This guy was awesome, TJ. Wait, this is a good candy. That's because you don't discipline them, and they will bump into this, and they won't. Oh, yeah, see? He's got kind of a launch thing. Four root bears. Oh, this is awesome. This is awesome. What is this?

This is awesome. Two. We got a cream soda. All right, next number. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's going to weigh down the sack. Yeah.

And by 15 minutes in, he's going to bail out of that. He's doing that for social media. I bought way too much. I had four buckets that size full of candy. jackpot awesome right and uh wait what was the timing like uh they should they started showing up at like 4 45 yeah we started going out yeah which made me feel someone actually i had a lot of people uh explained to me that i wasn't crazy it's just they moved daylight savings time Savings Time used to be before Halloween. Oh!

So when we were kids, we would trick-or-treat at the same time. It just was darker. Yeah, I was like, wait, that feels good. We had a three-day debate about this. Right, right. I was like, so we're not pussies.

The kids aren't pussies. That feels really good. Kids aren't pussies. Yeah, so it started around 4 45 um by i think eight was like the last kids that came yeah and by the end like by by 7 15 7 30 it's getting really thinned out where it's like kids are coming like once every like 10 minutes or so and when they would come i would i they would ask how much could i take and i would say take literally as much as you want. And they were like, what? Yeah. Jackpot. Jackpot.

Yeah. Did you have any kids that were too old to trick or treat? Yeah, there was one kid that was like, bet. He goes, how much can I take? And I was like, as much as you want. He's like, bet. And he pulls out his backpack and he starts. I thought that kid might be a little too old, but I still have i still have a shit ton of candy at home did you have any stoolies no there was one guy there was one

parent that uh said he's gonna come back over and uh have some beers with me and and like it was really did you ask him to no he was just like he was he was was just like, you knew the neighborhood? I was like, yeah. And he's like, cool, man. Well, I'll have to come back over and we can have some beers and chat. No, that's okay. So then I spent the rest of the night like, does he know who I am? Was he just like forward to every neighbor?

I thought you meant he did know who you were. Well, that's what I was like. Might just be nice. Yeah. Yeah. Hope not. But he started talking to me about the Cubs like out of nowhere. And yeah, so there's like a little there's like a little.

He knew you. You live in Chicago. He knew you. Right. These are the these are the questions I was asking myself. Like, is he just I don't know. Feel yourself, gentlemen. Yeah.

It was fun, though. It's good time. Trick or treating in Chicago is. It's cool. People get fired up about it. Yeah. Jerry was a good time. Trick-or-treating in Chicago is cool. People get fired up about it. Yeah. Jerry, you had fun? I did.

I did. I had a lot of good trick-or-treaters, a lot of stoolies. Parents came by, which was awesome. But then I ran out, so I had to go make a pit stop. No. Were you giving out full size? King. King?

King. But I cheaped out in the beginning. I only got 24 bars. What? And then. You got to get more than that. I know. I didn't think I was going to get that many.

And then within, I would say, like 35 minutes, about 35 to 45, I ran out. So I'm like, I can't go out like this. Yeah. No, you can't go down like that. So I ran, got more, came back. And then it was a waste of money because when I came back, there was maybe five more people that showed up. Oh, wow. So you got a bunch of bars in your house.

I do. I do. That's one more thing to stress over. Yeah. Too much candy. When am I going to eat this? But I did eat a lot of candy yesterday. Oh, I ate so much candy yesterday.

I did. I think I might have had maybe 20-something maybe of the Reese's cups. Miniature. No, probably like the regular ones. Oh, shit. That's my favorite candy ever. Yeah. Ever.

So good. It's the best. It's a lot of cups. The best. Have you tried the creamy one? The creamy one? Creamy Reese's? It's like extra peanut butter.

Huh. It's like a thin layer of chocolate, but extra peanut butter. All right, Jerry, we got to go. We got to tape this baseball video. Oh. I told PFT, first batter up, nails him in the fucking head. Yep. And then every person after that on his hands.

I love it. Can't be over the plate because he's just going to take it. You know, they're never getting out. I love it. I love it. On the hands. That's it.'re just going to take it. They're never getting out. I love it. I love it. On the hands. That's it. You guys can keep yakking or do we want to end it?

Just spin the wheel. All right, spin the wheel. Spin it. Where the fuck is my phone? Almond Joys suck, by the way. You didn't like them. You don't like them. I don't like coconut.

What do you like? Oh. I don't like coconut. Well, you don't like coconut. You're never eating this to start with ever. Right. Oh. We're good.

We're good. We're golden. We're good. We're good. We're golden. We're good? All right. We'll see you around the world. See ya. Love you guys. Thanks for having me on.

It's an honor. Thank you. It's always an honor. With the way you were sitting. Cute ass. It looked like they were painted on. All right. Let's go, Jared.

We gotta go. Get signed to TalkShop We're doing Yankees love It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act It's your straws, yeah Silence day For a while It's the act Get your straws, yeah, silence, hey, through all this It's the act It's the act

It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop, we're doing Yankee Swap It's the act It's the act Happy birthday, Mom. Love you.