The Yak - Mintzy Has Overthrown Big Cat as the Head of the New Office | The Yak 11-10-23

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yeah. Echo. It's the Yak. Is there an Echo? Echo. Echo. Yes.

It's Friday. Is there an Echo, TJ? Yes. How are you going to fix it? Stephen's in here. Oh. Hello. Hello. Big Tech Steph. It's not that bad Stefan's in here. Oh, hello. Hello.

Big tech, Steph. It's not that bad. Big tech, Steph. I like that. He's scrambling around. The best part about Stefan is, oh, I can hear the echo now. Stefan's good at his job. Stefan is the least calm person under pressure.

Well, he hates all of us. Yeah. Not all of us. He hates most of us. If I ask Stefan to change a TV, they're all, well, this is going to be a problem. And he does. He gets it done. He's very good at his job, yeah.

What's your sign, Stefan? Are you Aquarius? He's got to be an Aquarius. Oh, no. Oh, Aquarius. Oh, no. Oh, bad look. I'm the end of January, whatever that is. You know. That's Aquarius.

Yeah, typical Aquarius. Damn, I think I'm Aquarius, too. Fuck. You and Stefan, birds of a feather. All right. Yak brought to you by Roback.com. Oh, yes. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

If I may. Please. Q-Zips. Polos. Yep. Shorts. Long sleeve tees. Can you hear me, Mook?

Just his headphones aren't working. We can hear your voice in the headphones. Roback.com. Code Yak, 20% off. All those hoodies, joggers. Q-Zips as well. Yep. All of that.

Joggers. Check out Roback. So wait, so is this not, are we not working right now? I think we are. Are we getting the L's in chat? No. And the headphones are like weird. They are weird.

Yeah, I don't hear myself. And we've got this super attractive guy sitting next to us. I'm freaking out, man. Oh, thank you. Oh, man. What's going on right now? Dude. All I hear is buzz.

I wasted jokes yesterday. I should have said today. I was trying to impress Taylor and Will. Look at this. What the fuck? Brandon hates me. Oh, yeah. That's good.

That means that you're on the good side. I guess I said something that bothered him. I guess I said something. Okay, I'm an unbiased person. Me and Kyle were there, and Titus was there. I was there. You were there were there, and Titus was there. I was there. You were there, yes, and so was he. Out of nowhere, you go up to Brandon and you said,

you know you could fast, or have you ever considered fasting? You could lose weight. Out of nowhere. That was how we were sitting there. I was on the golf simulator. You said, have you ever considered fasting? Out of nowhere. That's what you did.

No, no, no. You were asking me, how did I lose all that weight when I played college football? You said you were an offensive lineman. Yes. And you topped out at 300, got down to 215. Yes. I said, how'd you lose all that weight? I then went to the bathroom and left and came back an hour later. No, no, no.

You're eating Chick-fil-A. Oh, yeah. That's accurate, yeah. And I just said, you know what? Hey, Brandon, have you thought about fasting if you are curious about how I lost all my weight? Are you curious? Did you lost it all by fasting? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like full day fasts, all that. You had no weight to lose. He's over 200 pounds. Okay, yeah, I wasn't listening day fasts, all that. You had no weight to lose. He's over 300 pounds. Okay, yeah, I wasn't listening. I was listening to the echo. How is he? Bad job by me trying to hop into the convo. No, no, no.

Fuck. Okay, sorry. It sucks right now, by the way. But it's a good idea. It's okay. But it's a good idea. Wait, you're sorry, but you reiterate what you said to begin with. No, no, no, about how fasting is a good thing.

Okay, no. About how fasting is a good thing. Okay. If the audio is too bad, we could just zoom in on Zach and have the show run silent. That might be our high point. It's better now. What about your headphones? Headphones are still bad. Okay. Canless.

Canless. Canless. Can we go canless? Can we get them fixed? Then you're never going to know if it's fixed. So you're on The Bachelor now? So I just was on The Bachelor. So the show aired earlier this summer.

Did you win? I was The Bachelor. Yeah, but did you win? Did you fuck? I'm happily engaged with my fiancee, actually from the show. So you haven't fucked. So you fucked. No, no, no.

It's not that hard to say. So wait, love is real? Love is real. Is it weird when you were watching it back with your fiance Being like oh yeah I fucked her Can I throw an idea out there? By the way I should just say I'm very loopy I'm very low on sleep

So you might get some weird shit This is Ray Romano all over Can I throw a bad idea out there? I haven't watched it I don't know if anybody here watched that. No, I have not. But if we could throw up the cast picture of the season and pick out which one. Who you fucked.

Yeah, who you fucked. Maybe which one. No, just which one. Which one. And engage. Yeah, we'll guess which one. I think, yeah, you could do it. I don't feel comfortable doing it.

The way he took a shot at you, I feel like this is fair. Okay. Guys like us don't stick together. We're just going to guess which one you ended up with. Sure, let's do it. Let's do it. I don't feel comfortable doing it. The way he took a shot at you, I feel like this is fair. Guys like us don't stick together. We're just going to guess which one you end up with. Let's do it. I'm sure they're all beautiful. Certainly. What season was it? It was season 28.

7, 27. Wait, I was that close? I just totally made that up. That was incredible. Alright, other question. So you're very very very good looking you got a great voice you got a fiance uh you everything's going on everything's going great for you right now right is that why you're wearing those shoes that absolutely suck they were a gift to try to keep you like even because i appreciate that were you like the shoes

no yeah you come in and you're like i'm obviously better looking than you guys i'm like i got more together but look look at me wearing these like weird platforms he hacky sacked in those shoes you did well right yeah you're you're just a great athlete damn yeah you're a nice guy he wasn't the worst in the group well you could tell he used to be fat that's yeah yeah ex-offensive lineman i mean we're the best dudes on the field i think well offensive lineman have to have good feet. And you're the most loyal, right? I've always heard that about offensive linemen. Is that true?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You dated 30 women at once. Correct. Very loyal. Wait, how did you and Nick hook up? Was he on the show? Yeah. Oh, nice.

Nick was on what season? I was on the Taylor Hicks season. Wait, how did you guys meet each other? He was in the office. I met with Spider. How did you know Spider? He's been in New York. Yeah, I thought that, but tell me how you got here.

Again, I'm very low on sleep. Yeah, Spider. Hey, guys. Hey, Spider. So, yeah, Jordan had texted me asking if I could. Jordanry from new york office who works with kelly our booker had texted me and said hey can you show zach around uh the chicago office on friday easy money are you you're not from chicago are no i'm in texas but so what are you doing here this weekend i was here for work um i was at a conference and i was like i wanted to see the new office it looks bitching wait your job isn't just your bachelor no i i went back to normal work after you have to get a real why

yeah you don't i thought it was over after that i thought it was just you just like got you were like an e weekly every now and then you could cook on tiktok that i mean that's what everyone does they become influencers and it's so it's cringy wait do you mean you're just a regular dude like actually cook on tiktok or like cook you want to be you want to be boys with us i know i would love to be boys all right okay fuck yeah we're gonna play wiffle ball home run derby in a little bit he's got a flight i know what time's your flight two my boys would never miss wiffle ball home run derby so i'll change my flight okay there we go there we go i'm a boy i mean the boys damn i i didn't realize i

thought like once you are a bachelor, you go on TV, it's like superstardom. Not, or like you're just, that's what you are for the rest of your life. Like you don't go back to your regular life. No,

like very much like right after we just have our apartment in Austin, we both went to work normal life now. That's, that's gotta be weird. Like a couple interviews here and there. Right. Like no one cares about us. Cause we're actually a happy couple.

So they're like, we don't have any collateral for you guys. Oh, so you got to break up to make it. Yeah. That's what they do. All right. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

Cool. And we're very happy. Titus, you've been quiet? You pissed? No, my tech has not been working. You're what? My tech. Oh, okay.

The headphones and microphone have not been been working so it's hard to do you have like bachelor uh literally my microphone was not working so here we are now yeah all right hey everybody yeah it works it works now it works now okay you were pouting you were pouting jesus christ do you have that on your linked now? Like Bachelor? No, I took it off. I don't have anything now. I've kind of scrubbed it from a lot of my life or Instagram and all that. So when people are like, how'd you and your wife meet? What are you going to say?

NBC. He's too hot to look at. No, he's just a normal dude. I think it's very cool. I got you. Question from the chat. Are you related joe swanson from family guy uh yeah he's my uncle same voice yeah yeah no dude he's just one of our boys oh boys okay stop being such a dude i love having a chill hot guy around makes me feel better about myself all right you guys are doing tricks on it now.

Where did you play ball? I played at Cal Poly. San Luis Obispo. Where's Cal Poly? Beautiful town. San Luis Obispo. It's central California on the beach. We're at D1 FCS. Mustangs?

Mustangs. The Mustangs. That's Titus' skill. Is that your wheelhouse. Yeah. The Mustangs. That's Titus' skill. Is that your wheelhouse? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mascots. Yeah, just in general.

Kyle, give him one. College basketball. Every one. I know. Yeah, he's said he's eaten every single one. Lamar. Cardinals. Yeah.

Yeah, he's got it. UCI. And Eaters. I'm sorry. I wasn't a part of that. No, it's okay. It's fine. It's got it. UCI. And Eaters. I'm sorry. I wasn't a part of that. No, it's okay. It's fine. Sorry.

We're all boys. We're playing wiffle ball. Well, boys. I'm excited for that. We are playing wiffle ball today. Yeah, we go out and we just... Play wiffle ball. Eat on chicks together.

Yeah. Wait, your uncle actually is Joe Swanson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Wait, what? Wait, for real? Who's from the? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Wait, what? Wait, for real? Who's from the Klan? Wait a minute.

What the fuck? I thought you were fucking around. No, that's my uncle. Wait, that's Putty? That's Putty. Oh, Putty. Why do we say Joe Swanson? We don't call him Joe Swanson.

Who the fuck calls him Joe Swanson? It's Putty. I call him Kronk. Kronk's what's called in the Emperor's New Groove. Emperor's Kronk? From Emperor's New Groove. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, Putty. That's incredible. Kind of big in that Seinfeld world. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He bagged a lane. He bagged a lane. Yeah.

Holy shit. That's crazy. So you've known Putty your whole life? Whole life. Wow. From the womb. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Did Kramer ever come over for thanksgiving

no no i think i did get to meet jerry though when i was a kid which is pretty cool yeah yeah it's huge what's uh what's cal poly's campus like is it like i always just assume every state school in cal in california looks just like a perfect movie set like yeah is that what it looks like it looks exactly like that so it's actually a five minute drive from the beach swimmable ocean but we're on a mountain as well oh you fuckers so there's you know green mountains beautiful and then we have horses running around oh come. We're next to Santa Barbara. Bro, your life's on tutorial. What the fuck? CJ, can you pull up a picture of this place?

What is it called? San Luis Obispo. Cal Poly Slow, yeah. Slow. Slow. Slow. Yeah. Penn State snagged Bernie Truax right out of their palms. All-American wrestler.

Oh, yeah. This doesn't look like America. That's amazing. That's actually what it looks like. That's your campus? That's my campus. That doesn't look like, if you asked me where that was. New Zealand.

Yeah, or Switzerland. I'd say that's a favela. What? Like the cod map. That's a slum, my friend. We don't know what favela is. It's a Brazilian slum. Way off. It's a slum, my friend. You don't know what Flamelo is. It's a Brazilian slum. Way off.

Still more beautiful than Atlanta. Atlanta can be nice. Wait, so how were you introduced to Barstool? Were you a fan or you went on one of the shows? I went on one of the shows. It was Chicks in the Office. Chicks in the Office, yeah. And then I do listen to part of my take quite a bit.

Oh, thank you. And that's why I wanted to make sure I got the lotto ball before Hank. Yes. Actually, I did it, which was awesome. Fuck know fuck hank yep and then i actually listened to the yak sometimes and i last listened to the the boy draft you guys did gross that was sounded terrible yeah it was gross we should i wish i might have to come back we'll do a draft we'll do a handsome boy draft yeah do we have vomitors probably Do we have any vomitors on the board? I thought Nick, didn't you throw up? I shot up what was in me, but it wasn't any, like, it was more of a gag.

Yeah. I don't want to chalk it as a puke. I'm a man of honor. Big Cat, what was in yours? Oysters. You had a bad one. I traded a couple things. Yeast. Oysters and yeast. Oysters... You had a bad one. I traded a couple things. Oysters and yeast.

Oysters and yeast. Is it weird going into... So you're on work trip, you go into a meeting. Is it weird being like, yeah, probably everyone wants to fuck me right now? Well, it actually brings a cool opportunity to yesterday. Yeah, let's go. Finally asked the right question. drinks cool like a cool opportunity so yesterday i'm gonna call getting pussy a cool opportunity

okay so we were at a meeting and i was meeting with a potential client and we're talking and uh this woman walks up uh while we're having this talk and i'm like oh it's just like maybe a fan of the show she walks up she hands the gentleman i was talking to an airpods case and i was like oh hi nice to meet you i'm zach she's like i know who you are and i was like oh haha like that's that's cool and she says do you want to go to the bears game tonight with me and my husband and i said swingers i was like well like by myself yeah and they're like we have two extra tickets and i was like i'll take my ceo and they took us to the 50 yard line to the game last night completely just out of the blue escorted us up there time of our

life i mean it was a terrible yeah as you say the cool opportunity like they did it was a bears panthers game that was atrocious toilet bowl yeah but like that kind of stuff does randomly happen okay yeah yeah i am a loyal yeah loving man of course of course you're an offensive lineman of course now wait how long do you have a date set for your wedding not a date but we're gonna do in 2025 yeah that's a lot of time our year is like next week so we've actually been together for the whole time we moved in together this summer it's real like it can actually make you get engaged on the show like what if you're like yeah i really like you but like i don't want to really get engaged with the producers be like no we can't have that no you have you have that

freedom you can walk away you really can wow you really can what freedoms don't you have you don't have a phone so you have no contact to the outside world while you film so you can't talk to family friends can't get any advice except from producers so you are like you're their guinea pig okay so they're not there like you need to fuck cynthia tonight like that they're not in your ears okay i i also heard that they like make uh they make everybody delirious on the show on purpose that like you guys film it like insane hours and everyone's a little fucked up on something yeah make it like so so for a chaotic yeah so for like night one that's like the limo entrance this night like we start filming when it gets dark so about 7 30 uh we didn't wrap filming the ceremony at the end till 10 in the morning so we filmed oh my god

constantly with no breaks oh i had like four celsius's i mean just 19 vodka sodas like you just need to yeah stay juiced oh the whole time i feel like you i would want to be drunk the for the entire shoot and yeah yeah completely because that's like that's like thinking of being on a date with a girl and not putting cameras there i would i would need it i think no there's all 30 women and then there's 40 camera crews and then there's the producers and then you have to date and are they plural like here get fucked up here get a drink. Drink, drink, drink.

I can't say. No, there are rules. There are rules, but also. You were on the season before, right? On a cruise ship. On the cruise ship. For how long? We were on a cruise ship.

You were on a season before this? So I was a contestant. So I was one of the 30 guys before being the bachelor. Is that more fun, hanging out with the fellas? It's probably a lot like this. The boys. Yeah, I was chilling with the boys, but we were on a cruise ship for a month and a half.

Oh, my God. Well, how far did you make it before she sent you home? I eliminated myself. Really? You couldn't come? Well, you can't suicide. Oh, my God. That would be hilarious if you got kicked out because you couldn't come.

Just jumped off the boat. Why'd you eliminate yourself? So it was like the final three, and I had realized. You're not in love with her. Yeah, I was like, this girl can't be my wife. No way. And she, I think, felt the same. And so I was like, I got to get the hell out of here.

And so I did. And then I came back, started started work again went about work normally for about a month or so and then they gave me the call and said wow we might want you but you were on a cruise ship for a month without your phone and you said you you just he missed the chris rocks lap oh yeah missed the chris yeah he got on the boat everybody loved will smith got off the boat everybody hated will smith yeah that's crazy. That is insane. A lot. Imagine. A lot. Imagine. Oh, wait. You're probably supposed to do two?

Well, I have to be there. I board it two. Oh, okay. Yeah, you go there? Yeah. You gotta go, dude. I gotta go. I'm not trying to kick you. You are way late. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Am I going to miss this? I might come back if I miss this.

You might miss this. Okay, okay. It's not like the fastest to get to. All right, everybody take one. Okay. Okay. The one he took or the one I would take? No, no, no.

Okay. Well, you guys probably have similar taste in women. That's true. Probably success. Guys like me. Let's do like a guess who. Oh, yeah. Let's play guess who.

Is she attractive? All right. So I'm going to go off the bat and say no one in that row with you. Really? Too short. No, I got one in the front. I got one in the front. I'm going one in the front.

Yeah, I got one in the front. I think we all have the same in the front. Middle row. I'll take. I was going far right. I was going far right, too. I was going far right. I'm going back right, too. I was going far right. I'm going back right.

Wait, wait, wait. Top row, back right. Like that area? No, like that. I want her. I want her. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, wait. If that's actually his fiance, you better... Oh, give me that. Is that your fiance? No. Okay, okay. All right. Front row all the way to the right.

That's mine, too. No, I don't want it. I'm changing. What are we doing right now? Okay, do you want a hint? Do you want a hint? Go row. Guys, how are we going to react when he tells us who it is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, don't let me be here. We're going to have to practice. Let's practice. Let's practice. Oh, my boy. Good choice, brother. Okay, all right. Just row. All right. Good choice, brother. Okay.

All right. Give us a row. All right. Where is it? It was on the top row. Oh. Top row. Okay.

Okay. Pacific Northwest or New England? Blue dress. No. Yeah. I'm going blue. No. I'm going white dress.

Three in from the right. I don't. Give me blonde. Right in the middle dress. Three in from the right. I don't. Give me blonde. Right in the middle. Give me third from the left. All right. Which one's yours? Fiance.

Brandon. Brandon got it. All right. Which one? Third from the left on top. Third from the left top. Nice. That's my fiance, Katie.

Katie. Way to be. Shout out, Katie. She's beautiful. Shout out, Katie. She's beautiful. Shout out, Katie. She's awesome. Absolutely beautiful. Is she going to be cool with you missing your flight?

No. You actually do. I'm not going to freak you out, but you got it. All right. Yeah. All right, Zach. See you, Zach. Great to meet you, man.

Take it easy, man. Have a safe flight. Anytime you're back, come play wiffle ball. Yeah. Nice meeting you. What a cool guy. Yeah. Yeah. He was just in here, and he was chilling. What ball yeah nice meeting you what a cool guy yeah yeah he was just in here and he was what an awesome guy what a great cool guy fucking asshole so hot yeah i mean i was nervous somebody that you you got to resent them at first yeah i mean brandon

to be fair to him like i i will say his comment towards you was a little uh when he said you have you tried fasting yeah it kind of come out of nowhere but you did that to him when we're sitting there at the golf simulator and you just turned to spider after we had met zach like five minutes earlier you just turned to spider and he goes spider who the fuck is this guy that's how you always yeah i said no time time everyone has issues pause pause yes every so spider walked him in, introduced him to everybody. He just said, this is Zach. And then started walking him around, and we're all stuck over there.

Who is that? Is he a NASCAR driver? I thought he was a NASCAR guy. Nobody knew, but nobody would ask. But there's like some social grace here. I just thought it would be better if I just said, hey, who is that? Who the fuck is this guy? Who the fuck is that?

And he said, it's from The Bachelor. So I got the answer that we all wanted right yeah was i an asshole to him first sure but now you're boys now we're boys yeah that's how it works if he's on here we're all boys right we're all like we're all boys we're boys if he sees us any of the eight out in in public we're boys yes sure if any of us are in austin yeah all right so i have hiccups jay needs to run right oh yeah can you run and can you also get me a water i have hiccups i uh jay went eight for nine eight for ten on free throws today oh no yeah we're done i think it was we're done with that we're done with that it was seven but it's interesting that when he

couldn't win money for other people, he was great. He turned it on. Also, the Venmos, I paid half of them. Half of your Venmos just didn't show up when I typed it in, so I'll figure it out. Are you okay? I have hiccups. I'm worried about you. I haven't been sleeping, dude.

Yeah. I sound like shit. Shit. My brain is just fried I lose my inhibition of like Being appropriate When I'm this Like tired So that's why Zach

I do think he eliminated himself Because he couldn't come He took the wrath Like That's exactly how I would do it I would do it the reverse I'd be like I've done this bachelor thing for

Four weeks Filmed the whole thing now we got to go to the love palace or whatever the fuck they call it this chick's gonna find out that i come in 30 seconds i'm out yeah like i'm not only will the chick find out 40 crew members like you know and then millions of people and you can play the game where you eliminate yourself and you're like but she totally wanted to fuck me yeah no it's like that's a notch on my he didn't lose yeah yeah that's a notch on your belt knowing that you could have fucked her is sometimes better than way better we've spoken about this it is better yeah yeah it is i don't know what that you don't have to go through the whole you don't have no idea

if mook can fuck you he will you've already fucked every girl you can Oh no You're maxed out He's not wrong at all There's no one left If you're watching this as a woman and want to fuck Mook He'll get ya Alright ready Steven Don't you worry just be patient

Ready set go This is going to be low energy I can feel it That was the slowest start yet We've said that ever I think the clock started slow too This is going to be low energy. I can feel it. That was the slowest start yet. We've seen that ever. We've seen that ever. I've seen the clock start as slow, too. Thank God Zach isn't here. I've been watching the Pacific, and Che would not survive Iwo Jima at all.

I mean. Which side? All right. Both sides. I gave it a rewatch this week. I heard it's a lot darker than Band of Brothers. Way darker. It's, like, very sad.

Well, somehow that... He's getting blown up by a mortar right there. Wow, that was pretty good. Yep. That was good, yeah. That's not good. It didn't look good. It is good.

You think he's still... He's keeping it low. Like, he could go, like, 22 if he wanted, right? Yeah. Surely, yeah. Why does he stop? You know what role Titus is filled into nicely? The Caleb role

Hates Hates Che Nikki I walked by the gambling cave It looked like Nikki Smoke slept here last night He didn't But he was just sitting by himself And I was like, what's up?

And he's like, I'm freaking out. I can't see right now. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with me. I think I'm going to die. What do you mean you can't see right now? Like everything's like blurry. Like I'm blurry to you? Yes.

What the fuck? How long has that been going on? Like I could see, but like it's like double. I can't explain it. I don't know what it is. Like do you put meth and gingerbread stella blue no oh you don't drink coffee very well i do it's all i drink so i had that and then i had half a crispy cream donut and now you just can't see now i can't fucking see what did you you woke up fine

i woke up a little weird i didn't drink last night so like like this that was your fault yeah that's your problem. You do want to go on the record and say that's not method. Wait, time out, time out. I watched you drink last night on the gambling cave. I had two beers. That's not drinking, though. Okay, okay.

Like, two beers is not, like, that doesn't even tickle my armpit. Okay. Like, I could whip a fucking lamb truck off two beers and be fine. Well. No, no no no um okay so you can't see right now it's just blurry yeah like that's probably why che beat me in basketball which i couldn't see how long have you been blurry like dude ever since i wrote the blog about you like i've been blurry i wrote a blog about if i had to pick one co-worker to fuck my wife and i pick connor mook what all is happening right now i'm blurry i think i'm like it's a little blurry for me now i might be dreaming maybe i need glasses because if he

fucks my girl he's not gonna fuck her better than me so oh i thought it was a nice thing well it is i said you don't have a bad bone in your body oh no i have a good one either like if i pick big cat like i'm not coming back from i won't no damn i won't but i mean it's a good thing though no you're gonna have to lay it down i'm gonna have to give her the pipe dude well i said i would buy plan b because i know you're like the cream pie god and i can't be a stepdad to your kid. You don't want a little ginger baby. No, no,

not at all. I don't know Titus. Don't look at me. I don't know. Yeah. This got, this got weird. Yeah. Um,

I've grown to love smokes and I feel like he's undoing a lot. All right. So then yeah, dismiss yourself. Chad is suggesting diabetes. Diabetes. Chad is suggesting. They're spamming.

Chad is, we got a lot of doctors in the diabetes. They're spamming. I'll tell you what. Chat is... We got a lot of doctors in chat. They know their medical... Diagnoses. Am I going to need insulin? Yeah, probably. Yeah, I think so. Does that mean I'm going to need needles?

Yeah, you can't... You're going to get a pump. Yeah, because I'm scared of needles. You look different. I don't know what... You look... Looks like shit. You're on the beard out? Dude, have you been feeling like shit? I don't know what you look. Yeah, you look like shit. You're on the beard out?

Dude, have you been feeling like shit? I don't know. You guys are making me feel worse. Like, I don't know what's going on. You look thicker. I don't know what it is. How can we make you feel worse than seeing double? I don't know. Now you guys are calling me a fat diabetic. It's probably type 1. Yeah. What's that? It's probably type 2. Have you gained weight?

Yeah, I've been losing weight, but, like, I've gained weight. That's the worst thing. Is he getting AIDS? It might be AIDS. It might be AIDS. And gaining weight? Have you been having unprotected sex? Yes, I don't wear condoms.

A loser. No, smokes, it might be AIDS. Yeah. It's not AIDS. How do you know? You've been losing weight? I can tell. My dick looks fine.

You don't see AIDS in your dick. Oh, shit, my dick looks like it has AIDS. Wait, you said you're losing but gaining weight? Are you just describing eating? No, so when I was in Florida. You're eating and shitting. When I shit, I lose weight. When I eat, I gain weight.

I didn't eat breakfast yet. I've lost weight. I went from 185 to 220, and then I'm back to 200. So I've still gained weight, but I've lost weight. I guess that makes sense. Yeah. I guess that makes sense yeah i guess that a track have you gone blurry before or no this is like the first time could you walk in a straight line right now are you that blurry no i could walk in a straight line so like if we threw shit at you

like yeah i'd probably not do well like if you threw me the wiffle ball i probably wouldn't make contact with it all right well we'll find out soon enough when's the home run derby probably like 130 all right i'll be back for that all right you're you're stacking dubs in uh office athletic events yeah i'm the dodgeball champion yeah so are you and you try to you try to cheat me out of my first fucking ring well it's a very funny moment because we you know we got a lot we got a fix on the streams but there was a moment where you walked by and you were complaining i was like say one say one more word and Jerry's going to kick you out. You just shut up and walked away. Yeah, because I knew we were going to be fucking champions.

Yeah, I can't pass that up. You should get us a banner, though. Like we should have like an athletic banner of champions. You can get yourself one. Will you let me hang it up? No, but you can get one. Can I hang it up? No.

So what if I hang it up, even though you don't want me to hang it up? I'll just take it down. And then I can put it back up? Yeah, I guess. But then I'll just take it down again. You just got smoked. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to have to take down a banner every day.

And then I couldn't sleep last night, so I came up with prank ideas. Don't tell us. I'm not going to tell you them. Are we the only victims in the office? Yeah, my goal is just to bully the fucking yak. You know what you could do? Infect us with your blood.

It'd spit down our throats. Give us full-blown AIDS. Watch your mouth, Brandon, because yours is the worst prank out of all of them. I just said the same thing everybody else was saying. Yours is the worst. Yours isn't bad, Connor. Why are you telling us this?

Why is mine bad? I mean, just because you're Titus, you're on every show. I have to get you. Hey, I'm going to prank you, and it's going to be bad. Yeah, like waking up every morning being like, is today the day I get smoked? This is fucked. That's the thing. I want to drag it out.

And I still don't know where the line is with smokes. No, Big Cat gave me the blessing for no line. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if I said that. No, you said. Big Cat won't let you hang a banner. No, he just said I can't drug coworkers, which I would never do. So that's a line.

Yeah, but I wouldn't do that anyway. Okay. So that is a line, though. Okay. Just no drugging coworkers. There's other lines. I need a line. I actually need to know the line.

No bodily harm, I would say. Like physical harm? Yeah, bodily. What if it doesn't hurt? That would be no bodily harm. What if it's bodily? This harm didn't hurt at all. Well, what if it has to do with the body?

It's not going to hurt you, though. He's breaking it down. No bodily harm. He's trying to attack everyone. It's going to be bodily. What is harming? Do you have bodily pranks? What does bodily mean?

Yes, exactly. Walk me through the definition of no. Body prank. What the fuck is a body prank? It's a body prank. Like, Mooks is going to be a body prank. I don't like that at all. Mook, you're going to get so body pranked, man.

Oh, fuck. Full body, dude. Prepare to get body pranked. You got a full body. Thank God I just got pranked. I'll say this, Mooks. Whatever you, however you choose to prank me, if it is funny, I promise not to be mad at you. You swear to God. If it's funny. If not to be mad at you um you swear to god

if it's funny if it's not funny i think it's the best i will retaliate so like i will i will make your life fucking miserable okay so let me it's got to be funny like brandon's prank will ruin his day your prank is going to be funny but it could also ruin your day i need if that's what i'm telling you you're walking a fine line. If it's funny and you ruin my day, I chalk it up to the game. The game's the game. If you ruin my day and it's not funny, I will ruin your fucking life. Okay, that's fair.

My retaliation will ruin your fucking life. Yeah, there has to be funniness in the pranks. They're all funny. At least I think they're funny. Yeah, that's the problem is Smoke's idea of funny Is very different than everyone else's Yeah Is mine a body prank? Don't worry about it

Well I told Connor His was body Full body? Top heavy What the fuck does that mean? Oh a top heavy prank dude? A top heavy body prank That's a nightmare

Are you gonna give me head? No What? That would be a bottom That would be a bottom. Oh, yeah. Well, head is tough. That's where it gets confusing.

Yours is full body. I got full body prank coming. Yes. Full body. It's a lot of body, too. Top heavy body prank. What is a full body? Full body.

Can you do a blog on the types of pranks? Yes. Can we do a glossary? Yeah, I could try. Okay. Bodily harm. Body, no harm top heavy bottom heavy you're way too calm for losing your vision i know wait this might be the chillest i've ever been

i feel like when i'm drunk i usually lose my vision so like now i'm just like adapting yeah yeah that's fine it's like natural instinct kicks in okay well go go, go rest up. Thank you. I'm going to go take a shit. Okay. Thank you. Oh, body prank. God bless. I do love smokes. I mean, I don't even know what's going on right now. Uh-oh. There's that guy. Did he just walk in with that guy?

That was awkward. Yeah, they're going to see. I no-sold the shit out of that. So, we should convince Smokes that he has aids yeah yeah i think you're close yeah it's not gonna take much more ben mince just took your office yes yeah what yes do you have the picture tj so i i have an office i don't really use it i use it for when i get here at like 8 a.m to do like show prep. You sit there a few minutes. Yeah, for a few minutes.

But I'm not really whatever it was. We had this room. We had this room. It's like, all right, might as well do an office if I need to talk to people one on one. But I'm very rarely in there. So Jeff D. Lowe told me on Tuesday, he like tipped me off. He's like, Mincy was just in your office, like, taking a bunch of calls. I was like, what do I care?

Then last night I walk up, and he's just fully set up. And I was like, what's up, Mincy? Like, he's like, do you need something? I was like, yeah, well, I was going to my office, grabbed my, like, keys and stuff. He's like, oh, this is your office? I thought it was just, like, a workroom. I was like, but all my stuff is in here.

And he had his stuff set up he had his stuff fully you haven't you have a name plate anywhere no i guess i need to yeah like put up like pictures of my kids yeah but i think mincy i think it's just his office yeah it's his possession nine tenths of the law yeah he just got it it's his i think he was like yeah of course i have an office i'm ben mince hogs for the cause promo Yeah, it's the Hogs for the Cause headquarters. Oh, yeah, that's what it is. The Hogs pen. Oh, he's the best.

He's also just been tweeting how good the vibes are so much. I'm starting to think the vibes are bad. Yeah, you can't overcompensate talking about the vibe. I don't think he's going to lie about vibes, though, guys. He's not a vibe liar. Every day is like, this is the best day of my life. Right. What is the second act of life uh it's after you got canceled yeah yeah okay okay post cancellation cancellation got it he got fired right before he turned 40 and then he got hired

back hired back in wake up mincey when is that starting december well next year december 5th i think is what they're i'm pushing for uh i I'm pushing for Wake Up Mincy to come on after Mostly Sports, and I'm going to try to convince him that we would be a good lead-in for him. Yeah. And my whole objective of Wake Up Mincy is to try to get it to start as late in the day as possible. Yeah. You sit back.

Yeah. Did you see his concert review? No. He put out a concert review, but he said it was presented by Game Time. Can you just say that? Or is it? I guess Game Time sent him. Okay.

Yeah, and then you have to hit certain marks, I think. But, yeah, he does his own thing. Yeah. Kyle, you sent your dad and sister to a concert. Out of the goodness of your heart, it was your dad's birthday? I forget what it was for. You know. It was a while ago I got got him you bought your dad and sister eagles tickets yeah and that's a really nice thing to do and then your dad went online yesterday and shit on you yeah he was up

in the rafters it's the it's the eagles it's not not Noah in the whale. Desperado. Hotel California. Come on. The Eagles. Yeah. Yeah, he's going to be a little high. Oh, yeah.

I think the Doobie Brothers still look great, don't they? Big thanks to KB No Swipe for the B-Day gift. Unbelievable seats. I thought Walter would protect us. All right. I felt bad. I think he may have snuck up and did some funny business. I don't know if those are his actual seats. I thought Walter would protect us. I felt bad. I think he may have snuck up and did some funny business. I don't know if those are his actual seats. Still got him tickets?

It's the Eagles. Come on, man. I would love to see Noah and the Whale. Life is life. Who's Noah and the Whale? It's like a small indie band. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

I haven't had, I haven't saved a song. You over there flexing your calves, Brandon? No, I'm trying to work out a cramp without y'all seeing it. Just, just. Zoom in on the cramp. I just, I saw Brandon just, yeah. He stomps his cramps out. You haven't saved a song?

Are you going a little varicose there? No. I'm just trying to get it out. Let's see it. I mean, no, it's fine. Oh, it looks like you're cramping. I am cramping. Yeah, look how tight it is.

I do have phenomenal legs. Oh, my God. You have great legs. Oh, no, you're cramping. I'm getting it out. It looks like a health class picture of a leg. Oh. I got it.

I got it. It's out. It's out. It's out. You got it out? It's out. Yeah. It's out. Are you out it's out yeah it's out are you sure it's done it's gone for now it's gone uh what the carmel has nazareth catholic next they're six and five yeah i don't know but they play i assume they play in the thing is these catholic teams play play in Catholic leagues in the regular season

and then they get turned loose in the playoffs. Whoop everyone. Just wrecked shot. But, yeah, six and five is not great. Hey, is Maresh going to come here? Yeah, he's on his way. Okay, nice. Yes.

Is your boy Maresh? My any boy Maresh. Fuck yes. Maresh has great vibes. Recruiting trip. Trying to get him out here? Why not? Oh, I was just asking.

Lived out here for five years. Just give him a rush year. All right. Simple as that. Just put him on the payroll. Yeah? We'll have him in Tank's crew. Yeah.

Tank's crew is coming together nice frank frank literally wouldn't notice you think he would well it's a great experiment see if we can how many we can add we can just add people to frank's crew i think yeah they can just tally they can just tackle he realizes you said it's like forrest gump running across the country right don't you said but the tank walks are yeah yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of parallels. All of a sudden, he just has like a 30 people. Yeah.

Like a big whale with all the small fish around. Follow you anywhere, Mr. Fleming. That chair's making a lot of noise. Someone do the high noon ad. That's yours, not mine. I haven't been moving. All right, folks. It's time to load up on the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the High Noon Game Day Pack is back.

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We have a freezer full of high noons. I walk, I went in the walk-in freezer for the first time packed to the gills with high noons. I'm going to steal from my workplace today. Do we have a mechanism to get out of the walk-in freezer? Should someone get locked in? So Paige said she went in multiple times, and it's easy to get out. You just have to push hard. Okay. Should we go test it?

Yeah, Brandon, why don't you? No, I don't want to be the one to test it. It'll be good for the cramp. Let Mook do it. All right. Yeah, go in there, Mook. I'm not afraid of a walk-in. Yeah, because, I mean, if Mook can it. I'm not afraid of a walk-in.

Yeah, because if Mook can push. Titus, you want smoke or what? Oh, boy. You don't want Mook's smoke. Sit next to each other. Watch out. A little body, you little man. Alright, I'll walk in. Yeah. You just want to see Chef Donnie.

I mean, if he's naked, he's naked. You know? I don't think he's going to be. He might be. He could be. He might be. Technically, he could be. All right, I'll go check. I think he's cooking for everybody right now.

He is? I think Portillo's left a lot of stuff, so he is. That is by far the greatest perk of this office is Chef Donnie. Not even close. I'm just walking around yesterday. He's like, you want a cookie I made? Yeah. I'm like, is this real life? He individually brought me a bowl of walking around yesterday. He's like, you want a cookie I made? Yeah. I'm like, is this real life?

He individually brought me a bowl of cookie dough yesterday. Yeah, I remember. He walked right past me. Singled you out. Scumbag move. It was really nice of him. There he goes. Sucked off the spatula.

Sucked it hard, yeah. Live on air. Look how nervous Mookie is. I followed Barstool Kush last night. What? Yeah. I'm pumped for what's going to happen with that. We have a whole bunch of Kush upstairs if you want any. Seriously? Look how nervous Mookie is I followed Barstool Kush last night What? Yeah I'm pumped for what's gonna happen with that We have a whole bunch of Kush upstairs

If you want any Seriously? Yeah We had the guy drop it off Good ass dude And he wants us to We're gonna go down to his The cultivations facility

And we are going to work on the Weed farm In a video Hell yes Revolution We're gonna try to get our own strain Big shout out Revolution Revolution Weed. TJ, are you set up for Home Run Derby that we're keeping the controls?

Yes. Hell yes. What's the Home Run Derby looking like? I think we're going to do however many people want to do it. We're going to have to figure out who's going to be all-time pitcher. What's the home run? Oh, it's going to be you have, all-time pitcher. I mean, like, what's the home run? What's the – Oh, it's going to be – you have to hit it up into – To the upper deck.

Upper deck. Yeah. It has to land in the upper deck. We'll open up the windows in the green room, so that counts as well. All right. I think it will be – Like, from this angle right here. Oh, so you'll be hitting the –

The batter will be standing in front of this. Yeah. Okay. I love this. I think we'll count anything that hits the windows in the green room or above the windows as a home run as well we don't have replay so have we tested that people can do this yes okay i don't necessarily want to tell i just i don't know i just i envision a world where we do a home run derby and yeah everyone's just we've thought we've taught the

ball doesn't fly. That's what Frank was doing the other day. We talked about that. We should maybe – maybe it should be – go back to it, TJ. Maybe it should be anything that hits the wood paneling on the left side is a home run as well. That might make it a little bit – Why don't smokes go out there and just throw a couple tests?

The only thing, you're going to run into issues of people arguing what hit what and that sort of stuff. That's for fun. If it lands up there, it's definitely going to land up there. Oh, thank you, brother. A pear. You should be guzzling water. No, this made me feel better.

For now. Big Cat, I'm going to leave after this. Why are you sitting back down? He just sat back down and said, I'm going to leave after this. I've been dying to ask you this question for two months, but I get nervous every time I try to ask you. All right, just save it then. No, I have to. No, it's better to save it.

I'm going to prank you. You have to save it. I'm just going to ask you. No, you're going to have to save it. I have to ask you? No, you have to save it. Can I please just ask you? No, you have to save it.

Like, as a bench player, can you just send me a text at the end of the month, like a thumbs up or thumbs down, if I, like, did't know how is the question yes player because it's it's like i don't know if i'm just here getting punched and i like getting punched am i a good punching bag is what i want to know hey smokes thank you thank you okay that's it oh oh no oh that's easy have you taken all right that's it that's all that's easy i will text you once a month okay no texting back why did he come back in to ask that question i just texted him thumbs down. Oh, no. Wait, can we cut to the camera? To him?

Yeah, cut the camera to him. CMC. Oh, shit. Where the fuck is he? Where'd he go? Where'd he go? Where is he? Where'd he go? Smokes!

Oh, he... What the fuck? He evaporated. He disappeared. Smokes! Into the smoke. Like John Locke. Wow.

Smokes! He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. I'll never see him again. Did he ever exist? One thumbs down. Mickey Smokes died 15 years ago. Oh. I want to see his reaction.

The walk-in's very nice. Oh, there he comes. Smokes! Was that a serious thumbs down? What? You told me to text you thumbs up or thumbs down. Is it really thumbs down? Yeah, I texted you thumbs down.

I did what you asked. You did ask him to text you. All right. So how do I get the thumbs up? I don't know. I'll figure it out. Do some good shit. What do you mean by that? Because I feel like it out. Do some good shit. What do you mean by that?

Because I feel like I do, like... I'm just letting you know the longer you stay right here right now, I'm texting you more thumbs downs. You called me back in. All right, I'm leaving. No, no, he just texted you. You just got two more thumbs downs. Damn.

Are you going to make... Are you making content out of these pranks? Or are you just... Yeah, I will this time. I didn't think of that last are you just yeah i'm now thumbs downing the thumbs downs oh that's double thumbs down no but that's thumbs up oh you're right okay i'm thumbs up no no roger ebert two thumbs down i've thumbs up the thumbs and he's dead all right he's the worst day ever yeah a three thumbs down day can really ruin well I mean that was stupid of him

I'm only gonna text him thumbs can we go to WebMD and see what his affliction is double vision double vision it's gonna show like loves to dump sack

that's all WebMD does I don't know who said it though but he was very chill extreme weight fluctuation it's the chillest he's been I'd be freaking out he rolls with the punches he's like docile today.

Yeah. That's a good word, man. That's a great word. That's a very good word. He's docile. Good use. Nah, he's fine. He has diplopia.

He's got diplopia. Oh, damn, dude. Sorry about your diplopia. Hey, is next Friday fellow Friday? Oh, I think it is. In November, right? Yeah. Fuck.

Yeah. I'm not going to be here. Who's in the simulator right now? They got to stop doing the driver. I think that's what we figured out. Oh, he's not doing driver. Never mind. You're good.

You're good. He's good. He's just clobbering. Oh, shit. What? We can watch him? Whoa. This is amazing.

PFT. PFT. Oh, that's This is amazing. PFT. PFT. Oh, that's a nice shot, PFT. Hey, who at the company hits the longest drives? Andrew Whitworth, 330. Yeah. Wow. Who at the company hits the longest drives?

That dude, Zach. That's nice. God, I miss Zach. That dude, Zach? Well, the thing is, Zach was so hot and everything. He did try one shot, and he... He hit the piss out of it. He fucking smoked. I saw it. Piss missile? Dude, he he hit the piss out of it he fucking smoked i saw

a missile piss missile dude he was so good he did 19 yards no zach yards are twisted no no no what are you doing right now what are you doing right now probably a lag or something what are you doing right now you're right you're right what are you doing i mean you're right the guy i'm tearing zach down he fucking smoked it he is absolutely stuck in traffic going to o'hare right now oh what an idiot he was he's gonna be back like i didn't want to i didn't want to feel like i was trying to kick him off but like when he said two o'clock show starts at noon but he does live in a different world than us when he walks in the airport i think they just grab him straight to the plane yeah they put him on like one of those like huts they might think he's a pilot what time did he leave? Uh like 12.20?

12.25 Damn I should have got his number Just to like text me when you make it I followed him on Twitter I followed him on Instagram Right now it's only 35 minutes That's okay Yeah

Now If he misses his flight I have Maresh staying with me Do I have to boot Maresh To have this guy stay with me? Yeah Well he could stay with me I'll take Maresh in if you need me to

Okay yeah I'll take Zach No no no no We're trying to sell him on Chicago Not Wisconsin Well, he could stay with me. I'll take Mauritian if you need me to. Okay, yeah. I'll take Zach. No, no, no, no. We're trying to sell them on Chicago, not Wisconsin. Brandon, have you taken a side deal with this pizza place? You bring it up oft. He always says Antioch. Wait, holy shit.

Have you always? I didn't know he was wearing that sweatshirt today. Yeah, you have. You definitely have. Are you talking about the Antioch Pizza Shop with eight locations in the Chicago suburb? I mean, no. That's good hustle. There are franchise opportunities out there for people if they want to invest in Antioch Pizza Shop.

It's one of the best pizzas I've ever had in my life. Jerry did no bullshit ask Dave the other day. He's like, so with my Barstool contract, am I allowed to take another job? It was like, what? He's like, am I allowed to take another job? Like, I want to do some side stuff. Like where? I don't know.

So, yeah, I could see Jerry getting a full time job somewhere else. I think the only person that could do that is Frank. Yeah. I mean, cameo. Yeah. Yeah. Cameo is a full-time job for Frank. What would Jerry do?

Like construction or like other media? I don't know. Does Jerry have a full-time job here? Yeah. He worked four days this week. Wow. I gave my parents a tour of the place yesterday morning, and Jerry was posted up as the golf pro,

and my mom and dad asked what he does here, and he said, you know, I'm the golf pro, and he was doing, like, the golf pro shtick. My parents legitimately think that his job at Barstool Sports, he was hired to sit by the golf simulator. I don't know if that's shtick. Yeah. I think it is manifested.

And then they, because my mom asked me, she's like, is that, like, really his job? And I was like, honestly, Mom, I think it might be. Yeah. I don't is manifested. And then they, because my mom asked me, she's like, is that, is that like really his job? And I was like, honestly, mom, I think it might be. I'm not going to answer that. As long as there's traffic on the way to get here. No, Jerry has the best job in the world. I think that might actually be his job here. Wait, can we get that on the org chart?

Yeah, he's, he's golf pro ref and has to watch football. And a hell of a mopper. And a hell of a mopper. Hell of a mopper. And a hell of a mopper. Hell of a mopper. I also realized, so people were, I was kind of reviewing, I watched some back. You're asleep. You can do it. You can do it. I watched back some of the dodgeball tape yesterday.

And people were saying that it obviously was chaotic and that we might have needed two referees. And it dawned on me that it should just be White Sox Dave and Jerry permanent referees. One million. Because them as the referees, they will start fighting with each other. Right. And then we will get great moments from that.

Yep. And then, like, if you give Jerry and White Sox Dave some power, they're going to run with it. They're similar guys. Yeah, they will kick people out of the office just yeah for looking at him wrong you should have like nikki smokes be the referee of the referees though like he's got a whistle and he's he's like all in penalties yeah he has to write the pool report yeah yeah he's like here's what the refs got wrong he holds them accountable yes yes because that would piss them off so much yeah i just I just want layers of just the least accountable people being accountable for each other.

An entire part of this company is just like we put everyone in one side that they all have to keep each other accountable. It's smoke, White Sox Dave, it's Jerry. I want to start like a side business that they run and just see what happens they can choose the product they can choose the service oh and they have to run a business that was like original real world yeah which i'm dating myself now i know you yeah you're right they had jobs they had jobs they had to like you know like start an ice cream shop or something about eight seasons in they finally said all right just get in the house and fuck yeah get in the house and get drunk and fuck.

They can keep the profits they make from the business. They have to start it and grow it. Yeah. I think you say that about White Sox. I think Jerry could fuck around and become a millionaire. I know. Yeah. It would be very loosely maybe a scam, though, the whole time.

Yeah, and he wouldn't stay a millionaire. No, he wouldn't stay one. He would touch it. He would touch it and then immediately. Kiss the wall. Throw a big party, invite T.J stay a millionaire. No, he wouldn't stay one. He would touch it. He would touch it and then immediately. He'd kiss the wall. He'd throw a big party, invite T.J. Watt. Right. So not even T.J. Watt, just some guy who says he's T.J. Watt.

Jerry's kind of lucky he's not a college football fan because, like, you can donate to those schools. Yeah. Yeah. And help those schools. Yeah, he doesn't watch any college football. Yeah, you're right. He would spend a lot of money. He watched the help those schools. Yeah, he doesn't watch any college football. Yeah, you're right. He would spend a lot of money.

He watched the national championship game last year, and he puts Stetson Bennett as his 1-1 pick. He's like, this guy just throws everyone open. I guess he scored 80 points against TCU. Where is Stetson Bennett? L.A. Rams. But he's not on the team anymore.

I don't think he's great. He's not on the team? Yeah, non. He had some issues. Yeah, he has like a booze problem. Yeah. That's what it seems to me.A. But he's not on the team anymore. I don't think it's great. He's not on the team? Yeah, non. He had some issues. Yeah, he has like a booze problem. Yeah. That's what it seems to me. Ram signed Wentz.

Wow. He's probably going through a midlife crisis. Yeah. Second act of life. Second act. That would kind of suck if you were him and you were in college forever and you were a god and everyone's lining up to suck your dick. Yeah. No way.

But then reverse it. You could just always go back to Athens. Like, you just. That's what I'm saying. I think right now he's, like, waking up every day and he's like, this fucking sucks. Right. I want to go back to Athens. Yeah.

Because he could always, like, those type of guys, like, they could just go and, like, open a bar, open, like, an insurance company. Yeah. But didn't, like, Ryan Leith go open, like, an insurance company. Yeah. Didn't, like, Ryan Leaf go back to Pullman? Did he? Yeah. I understand how it would be hard to be in Stetson Bennett's shoes and not want to grind to make a roster in the NFL and all that and just say.

Who's the Bama quarterback with the sushi? AJ McCarron. AJ McCarron. Asian. Asian. I thought it was sushi. No, it's A-J-I-A-N is the name of the restaurant. That's what the fuck is it?

Yeah. That's awesome. It's a sushi restaurant in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. It's called A-jin? A-jin. Might as well call it like golden A-J at that point. You know what I mean? Yeah.

No. Can we go to A-jin? Let's add it to the wheel. We should have heard it. No way. No. Can we go to Agen? Let's add it to the wheel. We should have. Here it is. No way. Yeah. Is that like ketchup?

That looks like a Qdoba. Yeah. Wait, yeah. So all the empty tables in this picture, not a great sign. Poor Agen. Oh, no. Is it doing well? Yeah, dude.

What is sushi? We should be asking you that. Wait, yeah, that is insane. That's a crazy thing to have. Oh, my God. Maki Tide. Is he mansplaining sushi? People in Alabama probably don't know.

Facts. They are so stupid in the South, aren't they? They're so stupid. Big dum-dums. Big dum-dums. All right. Can we have Agen come up here and cater an event? Agen.

Yeah. Says nothing about his sushi skills. Wait, what what is it one of only seven quarterbacks what was that one of only seven what the fuck does it have to do with a restaurant former miss alice god damn i gotta try his sushi this guy was a hell of a quarterback and his wife is hot as fuck wait you're going to want to eat his sushi. What does back-to-back titles in some form mean? First quarter, I went back-to-back consensus national championship. In some.

Oh, it might not be as a starter, right? No, I think it means. Oh, just any. Like AP poll or coaches poll or. Got it. Like Matt Liner did not win back-to-back titles, but he did. UPI, was that a poll? The UPI?

That was a poll, yeah. United Press. In some form feels like a lot of work there. College basketball has Helms championships, which there's just a bakery. It was in like L.A. It was just like this guy ran a fucking bakery and was into college basketball, I guess,

and wanted to retroactively give national championships. Have rules. And some programs, like, I don't think they take it super seriously, but some will mention it, that we were, like, the Helms champion. Why not? On their portfolio. Yeah. But it makes me want to do that.

Yeah, we should just give it. Go back and, like, assign the 1920 college basketball national champion. Yeah, champion. Yeah. Have it be like the only rules have to be under 500. Yeah. The champion has to. There's like let's have really strict guidelines.

Yeah. You have to have lost to three teams that wear red. You have to have three white guys in your starting five. Deal. No, no one over seven feet on your roster. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. You know what?

Let's also hold a cheerleading world championship. Yes. Okay, yeah. I actually had that on my notes when we were going to talk about that. World. Wait, are you allowed to say that? We're allowed to say it, yeah. That's just not cheerleading.

It's wrestling, too. There'd be, like, Charleston, West Virginia, Worlds. And, like, I could win a round robin. They'd be world champions. You want a world championship? You're allowed to say Nationals or Worlds. That's the loophole. I know five girls that have won Worlds.

Every girl's won Worlds. That's every cheerleader, yeah. How big do I have to buy this wrestling mat that I'm going to buy? You might as well go full size, huh? He doesn't have to be full size. I don't know. How expensive are they? 10 by 10 looks like it's like 800 bucks.

Does it have to have a separate pattern? We're not going to need a lot. It's going to be like minute sessions, and everyone's going to walk off with their day ruined. Is a wrestling mat all its own thing, or does it go on top of it? That feels kind of expensive for what it is. It's just like a slab of foam. I'm not worried about the money part of it.

I'm worried about the economy. What does that say about economics? The direction of a real size. You know, I don't know. The economy. What does that say about economics? Yeah. Fraction of a real size. I'll find one. What does it say about the direction of this country that you can't even get an affordable wrestling mat anymore? If we had the foresight, we should have just made this floor in here instead of carpet.

We should be on a wrestling mat. That would have been. Yeah. That was sick. But we don't have that foresight. No, we do not. No, we just willy-nilly built this thing. By the way, Bolero. Yes.

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Head on over to bolero.com to find a place near you. Bolero.com, so much fun. The best. We're going to have to bowl as a crew. Once we get to winter, we're going to have to do a bowling yak. Actually, TJ, we should set that up. Yeah, let's go bowl. Let's do a yak from a bowl arrow again.

Okay. That was fun. That was very fun. And we could just do a tournament, although Titus is the best. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. You went further in the tournament than I did. No, remember, I rigged the whole bracket.

You bowled like a two-something. It was the biggest rig job of all time. I'm average. Chase is better than me. What is a rig job? A rig job. I won it. I would put all the worst bowlers on my side of the bracket.

I want to do trick shots at the Bolero. Oh. I want to set that up. I'm so excited about being able to achieve sports goals on a weekly basis. Yep. I think I'm going to put a $500 cash prize today on the Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby. All right, Nick.

And then rip it away from us. Yeah. Then give it all to the chat. Give it all to the chat. I take G-Hacks. I'm ready to go. You take G-Hacks? I take big poppy G-Hacks.

We need to figure out who's going to be all-time. This is the one I can do. Like dodgeball yesterday, I mean, there were some of us that were just out immediately. But here's the beauty of it. And I was explaining to some people last night, like, there's going to be moments where you suck at these things. But the clips are so funny. The Mincy clip.

The Eddie clip. Eddie told me. Max getting smoked in the face. Yeah. Do you have those clips? Did you guys see the Mincy slow-mo clip? I didn't see that. I didn't see Mincy. Play that, TJ. I tweeted that in the Max clip. That Do you have those clips? Did you guys see the Mincy slow-mo clip? I didn't see that. I didn't see Mincy.

Play that, TJ. I tweeted that in the Max clip. That was your filming. Was that your camera? No, it was Chuck. Oh, my God. Chuck did an incredible job. Like, these clips are so fucking funny.

Eddie said, follow behind me. I'll protect you. And then when they throw it at me, you pop up and throw it at them. And Eddie just kept running. He just left me. Look at this. Where's he going? Where's he going?

Zah had the tweet of the day. Oh, yeah. He quote tweeted, Eddie's on his Hamas shit. Jesus Christ. People did not like that. Hey, you didn't delete, did you? No, I mean, I didn't say anything. There was an actual Free Palestine protest outside of our office yesterday.

It happened, yeah. Yeah, show the Mincy though, slow-mo. Oh, my God. It's just a work of art. It's the essence of Mincy. This I did not see. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's the essence of men. This I did not see. Oh, yeah.

Takes time. While we're setting that up. Oh, is it chairs? Y'all still don't have chairs in there? Look at this. We just got two back three minutes ago. Look at this. And his pants. He kicked the ball away.

He actually kicked the ball. He got it. Oh, good. Oh. Oh. Those pants. Second act. One got it. Oh. Oh. Those pants. Second act. One hand.

Athlete. And then Max falling like a baby. He felt like a baby trying to walk for the first time. It was a baby fall. Yeah. Right on the butt. Big butt fall. Max played that game four or five times, and he dove head first every time.

Yeah. That's the best part. Look at this. Look at this. Want to say better? Finally. Was I misreading it on Twitter? Did he claim not to get hit? He said he was in the area where you can't.

Oh, I see. The no-hit area. Did you see the AI recreation of him getting hit in the face? I think it's in the responses to that tweet. The thud was so good. It was, and the ball came in so fast. Was that Taylor?

Oh, probably, yeah. Lit him up, yeah. What? Damn. That's a lot of juice.

There's some fresh Monarchs, Dan. Yeah. Out of the box. Fresh out of the box, man. Yeah. I lost my original pair. I don't know where they went. They're the most comfortable shoes in the world.

I want to take them for a spin. Yeah. What size are you? Oh, you're 14? 14, yeah. 12s. They are so comfortable, dude. They're just wide.

It's like putting your... It's like slippers. I don't want to steal your shit. No, do it. What size shoe are you, Mook? None of your business. Jordan's up 9. I'm a 9.5. 10. No, you're a 9.5. You're slipping that 10.

It depends. I want to bring back Sperry's. They got stinky real tab. It depends. It depends. I want to bring back Sperry's. Ooh. They got stinky real fast. They do get stinky. Very quickly. They just wear their bear shoes. What does it remind me of Sperry's?

They're like boat shoes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to get like an office Sperry. Maybe made of canvas. Sperry's. Yeah. Yeah.

Sperry's would be sick. You should be a thong sandal guy. You don't want to see my toes. I did that before. No one wants to see Mook's toes. No. Not even Jerry. No, you didn't want to see them?

He doesn't like guy toes. I wouldn't offer them. Guy toes are ugly toes. Yeah. Jerry said my toes were fine. You got good toes? No, I don't, but he liked them. He must have been horny as fuck.

Jerry said last night the only guy he would fuck if he had to fuck one guy was Andrew Tate. He'll talk to you shit. the only guy he would fuck if he had to fuck one guy was Andrew Tate. Real talk, G-shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's perfect. Wow. It looks just like him. Looks like Hagrid.

He gets that a lot. Back to Lost. Who's the guy hurley hurley yeah that is hurley i never watched an episode of lost great show i know and i remember when it was on live and like i just kind of missed the first one yeah i'm like, I'm out. Yeah. That show ruled. That was the best month of my life when I first started watching it. That show ended bad, though. Yeah, the ending was kind of confusing. People were pissed. They said it sucked, so I didn't watch.

They wanted to end it sooner, but it was doing well, and so the network made them stretch it out. They really just start fucking around. Yeah. I have no idea what happened. So when you write a show, you don't finish it necessarily? No. You don't know when it's going to end.

That was like the whole thing with Succession this season. The guy who made Succession, he knew he was going to end it, but he didn't tell anyone he was going to end it. So they all thought, they thought maybe they were going to keep going. Game of Thrones Was supposed to go longer But they rushed the end So they could go do Star Wars

Yeah and they fucked it up They fucked it all up They fucked it Yeah It really was fucked That Bran became the king Yeah Spoiler

Isn't that new one coming back? Yeah but who cares Yeah dude it's been like It's gonna be years right? Who cares It's gonna take forever I've never seen something Be ripped out of like

The heart of pop culture so quickly. Nobody gives a fuck about Game of Thrones anymore. House of Dragons is great. That's what I'm saying. Is that one coming back? Yeah, it's coming back. It's going to take a while. Game of Thrones didn't cook until two and a half years it feels like. But Thrones came out in what?

I don't even know. Early 2000s? I binged Game of Thrones. I was writing theories. I was inreddit typing I was like writing theories and like I was in the community deep in the community I binged it it was awesome to binge

it's good people that binge it like it more than people that watched it when they made it right I give it a yearly rewatch damn

wow put effort in it's a great show you pick up on new stuff every time yeah like Ed Sheeran what yeah

wow uh Syndergaard also that it was Thor yeah yeah and then you

every every time you rewatch it you find like a new dick there is always a new set of tits that you're like holy shit Mark you agree

you love it alright yeah Game of Thrones the ending fucking stunk but it it was an incredible show and I don't think it undoes how good it was, but I guess it kind of does.

It does. I would still recommend people go watch it, even though the ending kind of stunk. Yeah. The destination sucked ass, as it turned out, but the journey was so great that it's not a journey if there's no destination. TJ, what is this Make It Make It Money clip that I just saw Dave tweet? Oh, no. Did you guys see this? No.

No. Can you play it? I'm not going to watch it. I want to watch it. I want to get the reaction from everyone. All right, fresh reaction. Sorry, it shouldn't have been on my phone, but that was what i saw looks crazy oh

what is going on yo what the oh go, lady boss. Wow. What was that? What the fuck? That was awesome. She just went primal. Yeah, that's the one off the rails.

Oh. They were throwing punches. Where does she win? Megan. Megan, what is this clip? Come here. You know what we're talking about when we said, what is this clip? You said not me. What happened here? i don't know who that was what dana dana asked me to just ask me would i do an

oklahoma drill i said yes and i was in tuscaloosa so i mean what would i not do this girl was massively bigger than me yeah uh i should have gotten much lower. I will say I didn't even have much to drink at this point. I was pure adrenaline. And re-watching it, I'm not particularly proud of myself. Did you see this, Hank? Play this. It's crazy. Megan, I like this.

Thank you. Yeah, you got that dog in you. Oh, shit. Yeah, you did come at her a little high. Yeah. A little high, but the crowd has been silenced. Did she throw a puck? Yeah, did she cock back?

Yeah, she tried to. You guys are kind of suplexing. Look at her. She's just rage. And then, yeah. Let's go. You're the swamp king. Yeah.

You went feral. That's Mincy's job. Don't take that from him. Oh, my God, Megan. Yes, I went a little feral. I'm not particularly proud, and especially after we lost that game. But, you know, they do say that LSU never loses a party. Megan, when I got here this morning, you took me to the side and showed it to me on your phone.

Yeah, I know, because I felt safe with you. I didn't feel safe with the rest of the Internet. So you are proud of it. Yeah, well, let's think of creative ways to potentially leverage this as content. Who's asking you to kick next? I mean, there's no girls. Kate's still on her sabbatical. You could kick the ass of half the guys

in this office at least. Yeah, for sure. Like Moog. I would never beat up Moog. Thank you, Megan. But you could? Yeah, so me. Oh, I could never beat the shit out of Moog.

I could never beat the ever-living fucking shit out of Moog. Moog's my boy. Hank, are we ready for Wiffleball? We got to play Fortnite, and then we'll do Wiffleball. Fortnite. Can I get a pitch? Who's going to pitch? TJ, can I get some Johnny Stamos in my life?

Maresh? All-time pitcher? I think we need one person pitching the whole time so no one can complain. I put $500 cash prize for the winner. Ten swings, one round. We'll figure out how many people it is, and then we'll have it, and then we'll do three rounds total. Sully's loosening up the arm over there.

Home runs don't carry over. All right, each round is its own separate thing. Each round is its own separate thing. Each round is its own separate thing. There we go. That's going to get me amped up. Johnny Stamos in the office. Fuck. Oh, my God.

Thank you, boys, for having me. Yes. Thank you, Megan. Dude. That was an awesome clip from Megan. Dude, hold on. This guy. I never caught this.

He throws it up with one hand. Yeah. Switches the bat mid-flight of the ball. Oh, my God. He passes the bat from hand to hand and then smokes it. I think he just hits the same hand. No, I think he does it with the left. No, dude, he throws it with the right,

passes it into his right, passes the bat from his left to his right hand. Huh. Go try to do that right now, Brandon. Go try to do that right now, Brandon. Go try to do that right now. There's no way. He has a good bat, though. The yellow bat doesn't do that.

Yeah, it's going to be hard. The yellow bat's tough. Do we have enough wiffle balls? Yeah. More than one hit, yeah. Hank, do we have enough wiffle balls? That's a problem. We need a junk ball.

That's a real problem. Not having enough wiffle balls is the worst when you're playing wiffle ball. We'll get people everywhere feeding them back. Yeah. But still, I like to have like 100 wiffle balls. One of the whole pale. All right, here's Brandon trying to do the Johnny Stamos. Oh.

Stand in front of the camera. Okay, you're just taking it as long as possible. Marash. Marash. Marash. Come sit down. He just appears. Dinga dinga.

Oh. Oh, you got me a gift. What the fuck? Oh, Beefy Boy Chicago. And this is fucked up because I can tell by the fabric of this shirt I'm going to look extra beefy, and it is thin. You wanted to make me look beefy. That's a Mantic shirt. That might have been a gift for me, and then he pivoted on the walk here.

Oh, and it's so large. I will go put on my Beefy Boy shirt right now. You're going to do it? Hell yeah. Imagine if you were wearing your leggings today. Oh, he would have been aerodynamic. You need help? How was the...

I'm going to help him put his shirt on. Wait, were you just at Beefy Boy? Yeah, yeah. Wait, you took your vegan girlfriend to Beefy Boy? Beefy Boy is a very gay store in Boys Town. I was walking. Oh, yeah. Wait, that's a gay store.

That's not a restaurant. That's not a restaurant. That was their thing. Oh, my God. Wait a minute. TJ, can we go to the Beefy Boy website? Dang. They had the girthiest dildos I had ever seen in my entire life.

Oh, is a beefy boy a wide dildo? I think so. Look at me. I'm a beefy boy. Yeah, this shirt doesn't fit, but that's okay. Beefy boy, if you're watching, you're allowed to use that for promotional images for your website. Oh, sorry. All bodies are beefy.

Oh, my God. TJ, go ahead and hit that X. Let's browse. Shop till we drop. Boy. Wait, what? Oh, my God. What's going on?

Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. The Black Friday sale. Yeah. Sure. Oh, he's beef Black Friday sale. It's wrestling themed. Yeah. Marash, you want to? Sure. Oh, he's beefy. Nice cat.

That was nice. It's crispy in the mouth. Yeah, man, you're a beefy boy. I need that on a sound bite. I feel extra beefy right now. Let me tell you, that was, I was walking by and I saw the mannequin with a shirt on, and I said I had to have it. You have to have it.

Was that on the itinerary or just a spontaneous? Yeah, that was on the itinerary. Oh, my God. That's an old hangout of mine. The boys would go hydrate on a Sunday. Who did you actually buy it for? I saw it, and I was on my way back for the yak. I was like, I just got to give it to someone.

Okay. You found the beefiest boy. Found the beefiest boy. Oh, yeah. I was between the shirt or the jockstrap were out of the jock i need sales team i need a show sponsored by this sold out yeah god what who's buying all of that beefy boys gay guys the beefy boy stand to be sold out all. By all means, a good adjective. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not like portly or husky. Husky's okay, right?

I got big guy'd today. That always hurts. You think big guy hurts? Yeah, I got big guy'd. By who? A guy asking for money. It all depends on how, are they bigger than you? No, he was a decent-sized guy, but he gave me a double big.

He was like, big guy, can I get some cash when you come out? And then I came out, and I was like, sorry, man, I don't have any cash. And he was like, that's all right, big guy. You were doing that to hurt me. Yeah, the back-to-back is. And I parked too close to another car, so I had to wedge myself in. So he was calling me big guy as I was trying to make myself small. Yeah.

It's a real problem. Maresh, how's the recruiting trip? The recruiting trip? Oh, he doesn't know what it is. Oh. Oh. Well, we're going to meet in my office later. We're going to talk some numbers.

Talk numbers. All right, let's talk numbies. Yeah, we're going to talk some numbies. I just got a DM from Zach. Oh. Oh, really? Oh, shit. Oh, what'd he say?

Missed my flight? It just says, hey, you? Oh, shit. Oh, what'd he say? Missed my flight? It just says, hey, you. Oh. He didn't follow me back. Hey, you. Whoa. Was that the dude that was Hannah? Oh, yeah. He was the bachelor.

He's the bachelor. Yeah, we were getting in the Uber, and Hannah was like, yo, it's the bachelor. Yeah. Bachelor. He wouldn't shoot the basketball, though. He wouldn't shoot the basketball. He goes on live TV and makes out with women and won't shoot a basketball. Yeah.

Brandon, what are you doing? Are you going to call up given? Go do it. Go do the John Stamos. No, do it whatever hand you want to do. How do you know? I don't want to say his last name. Shawcross?

Shawcross. I mean, he was the Bachelor. Yeah, I guess he's the Bachelor. We doxed the Bachelor. I don't know. I don't know how the... Now he said, if any of it. I mean, he was the bachelor. Yeah, I guess he's the bachelor. We doxed the bachelor. I don't know. I don't know how the Now he said, if any of us are in Austin, come

chill. Oh, he's not on his John Stamos shit. Oh, there it is. They unplugged the camera behind him. Oh, bad throw. My bad.

You could use the steps. Mresh, you're probably used to a much flatter bat. Yes. Half swing. Uh-huh. So checkh, you're probably used to a much flatter bat. Yes. Half swing. Uh-huh.

Just a little check. He's even got an awesome last name. Yeah. Shawcross. Shawcross. That's a good last name. Good athlete last name. Zach Shawcross.

Shawcross? Like he's like. Don't. Yeah. None Shawcross. Yeah. Yeah. What's the.

You're the nerd. You're the nerd. The fucking guy that says you can't pass. Gandalf. Gandalf. That guy. Maybe that's for a bigger bat. He's like, no, no, no.

It's actually a cross. Get some duct tape on that for him. I've been having so much fun just playing. Yeah. Just playing. I wake up. I'm excited. I come in and I just play.

Yeah. Me and Che were throwing bombs to each other this morning. Play is actually very good for the adult brain. Oh, there you go. That was a home run. Nice, Brandon. Who'd you hit? Ooh, Danny.

Dude, these cameras are so sick that you can just like, hey, what's up, Danny? Conrad. Oh. Zoom in on Ebo's fucking dick. Oh. He heard. He's listening live. Oh, nice dick. Oh. He heard. He's listening live.

Oh, nice shot, Brandon. He is. All right, let's play Fortnite because now that the wiffle ball bat has been taken out, we have to play wiffle ball. Yeah. So, TJ, you want to spin the Fortnite wheel? Yeah, I need all alcohol out of frame. All alcohol out of frame.

And tobacco and nicotine. And. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. I need the alcohol for your big cat can you put alcohol behind Dan take your oh my dude I need Darren Revell to figure out how much you just made this company everybody go flood beefy boy's site yeah hire big cat hey great the second nice tj how did i do uh what was the verdict of my fortnight playing

yes for a first time player playing on that setup excellent i thought yeah i i thought i was doing pretty well but tj is i knew I knew literally none of the buttons. I wanted to land on Luke. You're nice with it, aren't you? I can play. Luke's nice with it. TJ's better, though. TJ, do you want me to start doing the ad here?

Yep. All right. Guys, it's Fortnite time. Kicking off our wheel segment today, we have Fortnite. Huge thanks to Fortnite OG for sponsoring the wheel segment. The original map that started it all in 2018 is back. Fortnite is running the map from Season 5 to Season X. The map is evolving.

Make sure you hop on your favorite season before it's gone. Amazing for those of us who haven't played or gotten a Victory Royale in a long time. This limited chance to run it back to the glory days. Don't forget, Fortnite introduced Zero Build, which means if you haven't been working on your building skills, which I think is the hardest part, there's a mode for you to still enjoy with the Chapter 1 map with friends. Check out the OG Island back in Fortnite now. Where are we dropping, boys? Where are we dropping, Maresh?

You got to make sure. You're probably tilted, and you got to get the rift to go. The rift to go. Tilted rift to go. You can't have a rift for here. Who's playing? You don't want it for there. You need it to go.

Who's playing? Got to do a wheel. Spin the wheel. I need KB addicted to Fortnite. Yeah. Nothing. Who's playing? Auto peep. on wonder oh that's a nice almost easterly fortnight is the best game out right now though

you've you haven't really been sleeping have you i just love fort they didn't even add you're always Always on. Never mind. What? I just, like, broke two rules. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yes. Get it to TJ. Come on, TJ. Come on, TJ. Come on, come on.

Shoot. Can we give it to TJ? No, I want to see Che go. I want to see Che go. I do not. TJ would catch like a 30 body W right now. Steve, we're hyped for you. Let's go, Che.

Okay. Does he have to play until he gets a dub or just one game? Just one good solid game. One drop. That could go for a while. One good solid game. One opportunity. Yeah.

Once in a lifetime. So are you a Fortnite guy, like an addict? That's like the only way, right? Yeah, yeah. it's the way i love so when you win is it like that felt so good i'm gonna let this i'm gonna let this marinate or it's like right onto the next oh right onto the next i was playing with mook and rudy the other night yeah and we were just going you don't really get that celebration tj did you get a dub with oh yeah yesterday yeah we get mad dubs yeah Is she nice with it?

Hit up TJ to play yesterday. He's been ducking me. Yeah, what is going on? I don't know. Can we go back to English? He was ducking me as well. TJ's been ducking me. Who's been ducking who? TJ. What's the gamer term for like sweats? Sweaty. Sweaty. The term for

sweats is sweaty? No, you're like you're sweaty. You're good. You're a sweaty. You're a sweat. Press Y. Sweat's not good. Iaty. Sweaty. The term for sweat is sweaty. No, you're sweaty. You're good. You're a sweaty. You're a sweat. Press Y. Sweat's not good. I got you, Jay. We're in a home run line. Tried to help Titus.

What's that? You mean by a line? Like the window. I'm going to count everything above. Okay. Because there's more to the window than is wood. There's not a whole lot of people here other than us, right? No.

Yeah. I was just wondering. A lot of people here other than us, right? No. Yeah. I was just wondering. A lot of people back there. Yeah. I think PFT is going to play. Yesterday we played dodgeball and there were. Yeah. Yeah.

That guy's sick looking. Oh, you're in there. Wow, there's players everywhere. Oh, my God. No, just relax. This is just the lobby. Wow, there's players everywhere. Oh, my God. No, just relax. This is just the lobby. This is the lobby, Che. All right, here you go.

All right, pulled that map. Pulled that jump. Where are we at? Why is it so blue? It's, uh, night time? Yeah. Yeah, you want to jump.

Alright, Che. Lovely time of the day. How do you control where you go? Look down. Look down. Take in the view. Oh. That might not be a good move.

You want to get down there quick. I don't know. Titus, did Mook help you like this? I was in his ear the whole time. No, he did not. Yeah. Oh, I said Mook, though. I'm better than Mook. I don't know Titus did Mook help you like this? I was in his ear the whole time. No he did not. Yeah. Well I said Mook though. I'm better than Mook. I don't know about that. Oh TJ you're better than Mook? I didn't need help. You're a lot better than Mook? Not a lot but I am better than him. I didn't need help to get a 29th place which is my understanding that's a record. Titus you got mad dubs.

Yeah, mad dubs. I was sweaty. You gotta be 29th. You were nice with it. All right. Now, what's this map called? Fortnite OG. Okay, Fortnite OG. Heck yes. I can see where one would really love playing this game a lot. I do.

Adults would really love it, especially 18 years or older. I have kids, but I'm not going to report if they've ever played it or not. Alright. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can also turn off the build mode because some people are just building too quick. I can't keep up You can't die in dust you just you just kill? Did you ask if you killed somebody? Get him, Chad. How do I shoot?

How do I shoot? Aim with L2. You just did it like ten times. Shoot him. Brother. Yes. Aim with L2. Not too violent.

Liability. Don't shoot him violently. Yeah, nicely. Damn, I'm an infertile controls boy. Keep going. Keep going. No. What?

Now he is. I am. Alright, aim again. No, no. Yeah. No No, no, yeah, oh there no no no down. Yeah, I think this is two bots playing each other. This is crazy No, I am Yes get him J Get him, Che. Time's running out for this person. That's the nicest death threat of a word. Pick up that ammo. Just run through it. Run through the ammo. Okay. Good. Where's the person? Can I find them on the map? No. Problem.

Other way, other way, Che. Che, right there. Aim down. It's a bot I meant to lose to you, so you know you... It's a win-win. This was programmed. Let's go s- Oh boy. You gotta hit him.

Okay, you're doing okay. The Slaughter PG. Oh, now it's coming from both directions? Alright, I don't know what's going on. Run. Run. You're getting rained on, boy. Run. Oh my...

Get him! Get him! Go! Go! Hit him! Go! Oh, you hit him. You did hit him. He was... This is insane. Move.

Hard launch. Oh gosh. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Come on, Che! You lost, Che! Come on! Oh my god.

Come on, Che! Oh my god. Titus, I... This is... You were a lot better than this. Oh boy. How do I reload? Oh my god.

Oh no. How is he? Keep getting him! Keep getting him! Keep getting him! Oh, Che! Che! Let's go!

Bury him, Che! Come on, Che! Che! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Che! Let's go! Bury him, Che! Come on, Che! Che! Yeah! Let's go, Che! Is there somebody else here? Uh, maybe. You have no ammo. Go back in there. I have no ammo?

Go back in there. I have no ammo? Come on, Che. Ammo up. How do I do this? Oh, God. There's a button right there. He's a opponent. Go to your left. This is insane.

Yoink. You need help. You can't help. You gotta hit that chest behind you. Uh oh. This isn't bad. This is not good. Run away. Why are you doing this? Run! Get away!

This is real. This cannot be real. Just imagine it's like Madden and then run like that. Hide. Run. Run. One hit away from dying. Yeah. HB ISO.

You're running in where the bullets are. Hide. Oh god. I have a gun though, right? You have no bullets in that gun. R1. That one does. Alright. Let's dance.

Oh! Let's dance. That one does. Let's dance. Get him, Che. Oh, this is really, really... TJ, what would you grade this? This has got to be breaking TJ's brain. Yeah, this is tough. Get him, Steve.

I was so close on the wheel. Oh, no. One twice. Oh, my. No ammo. One more. Why are you moving your body? I so close on the wheel. Oh no Why are you why are you moving your body this is so oh my Oh heaven jump jump jump good great goodness By golly this is not good There's there's some in the truck that you just walked by there's a chest in the truck you just walked

Back there is also you might not be worth it Look at the chest look at the chest Steve sounds like his wife put the bush on how do I do that pick up the bush pick it up? Are one twice now people can't see you again one more a little protection Yeah, it makes you look like a bush, and it gives you one shot protection At this point you should just walk out into the grass and squat down and see if you could play that way TJ if you Took over playing right now. Could you win? Yes? Where would a bush be right in the back of a truck just sit right there They'll never some bush delivery Chest chest. Oh, no, you're getting shot at the bushes off somebody shot your bush What

Nobody's why would you say that cooler? That's a fact. Jay! No, they're behind you. They're right there. Oh, no, Jay. Maybe they think you're a bush, though. The person right in front of you is shooting at you, Jay. This is what I want. Why?

Why? That person has a gun. Yes. Come on. Jay's just getting blasted by a gun. He's like, oh, yes, this is what I want. A hand-to-hand combat weapon. This ancient mining equipment.

Now I will win this battle. Titus was so much better. Thank you. Titus was good. He had a gun. Good job. TJ, are you alive back there? I am. They're paying me. If I don't

get in on one of these games. TJ, why don't you just come out and play right now? Yeah, can we watch TJ? We gotta play wiffle ball. TJ, go to work. TJ, next time, I'm just gonna say when is the next one? Monday. Alright, so you're just gonna play? Alright. We'll just wheel

all TJs on the wheel. Yeah. And then we'll watch you play Monday and watch you win just going to play. Alright. We'll just wheel all TJs on the wheel. Yeah. And then we'll watch you play Monday and watch you win. Okay. Beautiful. Perfect. Should we spin our wheel before we play Wiffleball? Yeah.

Oh, I hope it lands on wet Zach. Oh, we got to get Zach. Wet Zach. I think he followed all of us. We need a wheel reset so bad. Hey, Zach. Listen, man. I know you followed all of us. We need a wheel reset so bad. Hey, Zach, listen, man. I know you're on a plane right now.

Just wanted to say you are obligated to jump in the toilet. You have to go get wet. You have to get wet. Rush doesn't sound like he wants to get wet. I've gotten wet before. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're going to get wet again. Oh, shoot. Got a point. Eternal wetness. Eternal spotless mind. You got to get wet again. Oh, shit. Got a point. Eternal wetness.

Eternal spotless mind. You got to get wet in the beefy boy. That would be all time. Oh, my God. Might have to start an OnlyFans. It's a wet beefy boy. Only beef. You like your beef.

See the Hawks tweeting about OnlyFans? Yeah, that was weird. Who? The Atlanta Hawks. The Atlanta Hawks quote tweeted a Barstool tweet with an OnlyFans thing. Oh, shout out to Hawks. Horniest team in the NBA. Always said that.

Yeah, yeah. Always said that. Least horny? Pacers? Or the Kings. Yeah. Jazz. Yeah!

We're out of it. Well, we got to spin it again. We got one more, but we got a little air. That's good. That's good. We still do need to do our personal slice wheel, which we got to spin it again. We got one more, but we got a little air. That's good. That's good. We still do need to do our personal slice wheel, which we'll do that next week. It's been a lot.

Everyone come with an idea. One idea of a game that we can play instantly if it hits. I'm adding go to sleep. You got to go to sleep. Oh, that actually would rule. First one to fall asleep. Yep, first person to fall asleep. First one. That would be a nightmare competition.

Oh, my God. I would fall asleep. I wouldn't. If we just laid out a bunch of sleeping bags and everybody had to watch us. Yep. There are way to test. Yeah, the show ends when we're all asleep.

Yeah. I'd just kill myself. That's what you'd have to do. I'd get so mad at you guys if you can't. Yeah, the show ends when we're all asleep. Yeah. I just kill myself. That's what you'd have to do. I'd get so mad at you guys if you weren't asleep. I think I could fall asleep within 10 minutes at any time. You're sleepy as hell right now, though. I am sleepy as hell. But like post-football season, Big Cat, nightmare.

Oh, yeah. Got my energy back. Are you cranky or just sleepy? I'm not cranky. I'm just more like just hovering around delirious at all times this week. Like we just did PMT yesterday was just a very delirious episode, which is fun. Yeah.

I would like to get like my brain back, which it will come back if I just get like 10 hours of sleep at some point, but we got to go to TCU tomorrow. Do you ever get like eight hours? Eight hours would be the max because that's like going to bed at 11 because I get up around like 6, 630. Do you ever wake up and feel like, oh, I feel well? That hasn't happened in a decade. Like actually feeling like waking up and being like, wow, that was good sleep.

No, decade. I think that just happens until you get old, and then you can just start taking naps at all times. Is that how it works? When do you get older? I'm old people can't fall asleep for shit, though. Or when you get old and you start going to bed at like 7 p.m. I'm getting there fast. Yeah. I was like 9.30, though. Or when you get old and you start going to bed at like 7 p.m. I'm getting there fast.

Yeah. I was like 9.30 last night. That's crazy. I can't do that. I go to bed at 8.30 or 9. Yeah. I'm early, but I wake up at 4. I woke up at 5.

I found the perfect melatonin dose for me. It's like a magic. It's fucking magic. Then you better just... That's the only problem is that I'll go on the road and I forget it yeah the perfect what is your perfect five milligrams that's all i need mine's 10 and i just i take unison five milligrams and mine is like three hours of tiktok i'm reading chicken yeah one hour of tiktok gets it done in my colleen one hour tiktok three unison i think it's supposed to be like melatonin but not habit inducing but

it's totally i've oh it's not habit it's not habit i could quit i could literally quit whenever i'm gonna find out what i've been taking for the last four years i've never read the bottle i got the follow from zach unisom is is... Oh, what did he DM you? Sleep tabs. Non-habit forming sleep aid. That's a lie. Because I have a habit. Yeah, I think... Nothing.

I would need something. It has doxylamine. Huh. And he followed all y'all, huh? Followed all... Instagram. He hasn't followed me yet hot guys are instagram guys don't even don't even worry about twitter hank you ready let's do it

all right who do we have oh wait oh yeah yeah what'd you say yeah we're all playing i I'm ready to hack. PFT, Nicky Smokes. Nick, that's hilarious. He has 224,000 Instagram followers. He has 2,000 Twitter followers. Yeah, that's how it works. Our society is. The plight of the hot man. He probably is like half a million on TikTok. We have the dumbest fucking society.

You asked him something. He said, yeah, being hot leads to some cool opportunities. Yeah. And then. Yeah yeah when clients approach yeah potential clients are what you should call your queens yeah um i'm off you're off off queens what do you want with an age or you're on now i'm just on myself now yeah you're on the mook method one meal a day yeah four hours of fortnight yep three hours of tiktok yep how are we hitting do we have a batting or or cardio you're doing one meal a day, four hours of Fortnite, three hours of TikTok. How are we hitting?

Do we have a batting order? Cardio. You're doing one meal a day? Yeah. The MOOC method. You do look skinny. Yeah, it's a sweatshirt for sure. Your face.

Yeah. I let myself go the past month and a half. No way, man. Your hottest picture was that picture with the Australian guy. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Travis. Good guy.

Good guy. Would you have a batting order, TJ? No. Oh. I don't. Yeah. Let me get with. I don't know who's playing.

Yeah. Tell him to get down here. We're all playing, right? Yeah. Yeah. So we should just do, like, us in order and then. No We're all playing, right? Yeah. Yeah. So we should just do us in order and then... No, just put us all on a wheel. We'll just spin the wheel for the next up. And what percentage of people go to the next round?

Do you want me to go gather who's... Yeah, gather whoever. Let's not make it super large. No. So Nicky Smokes I know is in. PFT I know is in. If there's anyone else content who's around who wants to be in and then i think yeah if there's like 10 or 12 we'll cut it in half and then a final of two or three let's look through the cameras let's see check the shower cam. Ooh, DC. He's been funny as fuck lately.

Yeah, he is. Love him. Yeah, man. Tell Ebo and Danny that we might need their help for throwing balls back down. Spider, you want to be ump? Yeah. All right, so Spider will call all home runs. Mm-hmm.

We've got Megan, play up to me. No, you can play, Megan. Megan, play up to me. All right, and then Fasoli's going to be all-time pitcher. So, Spider, look. Can you go the back cam, TJ? So, Spider, you see the line? Look at that.

Isn't that cool? No, no, no, the line? Look at that. Isn't that cool? No, no. Go back. What was that, Maresh? Where are the wickets? Oh, buddy. Can you zoom out a little? Can you zoom out, TJ? Alright, so we need to just move it back a little. Maresh actually did put me on to cricket.

What? I did. It's like... Are you betting it? Alright, Spider, sit down Sit down, Spider My favorite part is not knowing the rules No, no, Spider It's some of the best catches you'll ever see I just told Spider to come sit down

And he just sat on the floor on the court Alright, Spider, so here are the rules It's going to be 10 outs a person Okay So, swing and a miss is an out yep hit and it's not a home run it's out home run doesn't count as an out got it and it will be uh if you hit the if you hit the ceiling that's an out got it and the home run so you see right here you have to hit it over the the um it has to land on the other side of the black railing yes or if you hit it over see where

we extended the white line anything that hits yeah above the white line yeah on the wood green room side that's also ruled a home run okay i think if you hit the ceiling and it goes over it should still count i agree but the ceiling if you hit the ceiling comes down it's not a home run and then spider if you're gonna call every home run if and it comes down, it's not a home run. And then, Spider, if you're going to call every home run, if it hits the white line, that's not a home run. That's like hitting the railing. It has to. The whole ball has to be above it. Above the white line.

Got it. And you have full control of this game. Oh, shit. So you can kick anyone out if they argue. All right. And your call is final. Okay, great. Okay?

I might have to toss them out. Yeah, so no, I don't want people complaining the whole time. your call is final okay great okay i might have to toss them out yeah so no i don't want i don't want people complaining the whole time your call is final also reminder spider i drafted you with my first pick yesterday that's right yeah so i expect the utmost respect from all competitors yes good luck okay thank you how many people advance uh well so what do we say? There's Nikki. I think Hank's going to play. PFT is playing. Megan. Megan. Or them. How many of us?

Marash, are you playing? Yeah. You need me to. Yeah, you're playing. Take some cuts. All right. 5, 6, 7, 8. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Donnie's 13. All right. Let's say three or four. Let's say, no, we'll do first round. 13 people gets to six. Oh, wow. Six gets to three. Final's the three.

Got it. Okay. $500 cash prize. Woo. Let's go. All right. So put all them on the wheel. That's a lot of meatballs.

I got to send my mom some flowers. It's all of us in this room. Yeah. TJ. Okay. my mom some flowers all of us in this room and then it is nikki smokes pft hank donnie chay megan this should be a little bit less chaotic than last one yeah more leisurely uh sport and then can everyone uh everyone, Hank, have everyone make sure they're helping with getting the balls back

so we keep it fast. We only have four balls? That was a mistake. Do we have any other balls? We'll be fine. There's people up there to get them. There's people down here to get them. Okay.

All right, so we're going to spin the wheel to see who goes first. It's 13 people. First round's going to get us to six. No, Hank, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is bullshit. Hank's getting practice. He knew he was going to do this. He always finds a way to cheat.

Wait. Spider, you got to move. There's another ball if you go. Oh, this is for Instagram. Never mind. In that corner. No, go ahead, Spider. You can stand there for a story. I didn't know you were doing a story. As far into the corner as you can go. Oh, perfect story.

Okay. Oh, boy. Okay. All right, so we're going to spin the wheel to see who goes first. And everyone make sure you're not standing directly in front of that camera. Or any camera. Yeah, or any camera. All right.

Does this look accurate? Yes. Yeah. That looks good. All right. Does this look accurate? Yes. Yeah. That looks good. And then, TJ, will you be able to make a graphic of the scores? I think Brandon's going to win. No. Okay.

Somebody can, though. All right. I'll text our graphics. Or just like an updated leaderboard. I think Brandon's going to win. There's going to be some bad whiffs. Yeah, but that's fine. Nick, when's the last time you swung a bat?

You could just do it. Steeler celebrity softball game. Who's he missing, guys? Let's just focus for a second. Who's he missing? Che? Che's there. Everybody in here.

Donnie? Where's Titus? Titus. Titus. Good job, Brandon. Let's go. He's Titus? Titus. I mean, at a certain point, somebody would just be like, I haven't gone yet, and then we have him go. Yeah. Alright. Here we go. Let's see who's first up. Thanks, Brandon.

I don't want to be first. No, you don't want to be first. Never. God damn it, Brandon. Megan! Megan making money. Megan's up first. Ten outs. Can you please charge the mound and fuck up Fasoli I love this This is gonna rule Do you have an out counter or no TJ?

No We can do it Oh shit Okay she's Spider gonna hit a couple. Oh, Spider's doing a good job, he's doing the outs. He's gonna hit a couple. I don't know. Attaboy.

Who's gonna shock us the most? Bauer? You still got it, right? Get out. No. Ability in my arms. Three outs. No, no, no. Ten outs. Ten outs. You get ten. Ten might be too many. Yeah, let's do

five. Five outs. Five outs for the first round. Five outs for the first round, then we'll go to... I don't know if six people are going to hit home runs. Then we'll go to ten outs. Then we'll go to ten outs. Well, then... Yeah, then we'll go to ten outs. Then we'll go to ten outs. Well, then. Yeah, then we'll go to ten outs. Oh, sudden death. Everybody gets one.

Yeah, sudden death. Yeah. You could take. Yeah. Come on. What are you doing? You got to take that one. Put it in the sweet spot.

All right. Next up. If there's a tie, we'll do a sudden death. You don't think five is enough? I don't know. Ten outs. Seven. Ten outs.

Megan, you're back in. Well, let's discuss it. Ten outs. It's going to be ten pitches. Yeah, yeah. All right. Ten outs. The vast know. Seven. Seven. Back to ten outs. Megan, you're back in. Well, let's discuss it. Ten outs. It's going to be ten pitches. Yeah, yeah. All right. The vast majority. Ten outs.

Ten outs. Ten outs. That's not that many. Ten outs. Five more. Ten outs. She's hitting them all. Yeah, Megan.

She's not giving it. She's like arcing. That's why I said when we – It's hard to hit it. I almost took Chef Donnie's shirt off. Oh, one-handed. You don't have to swing at every pitch. I don't like the arc that he's throwing.

We might need a new pitcher. Throw it a little straighter. Straighter, Fasoli. It's hard to hit a home run. You're lobbing it too much. Still. Nine out. Nine.

Five. Hold him, ball. Oh! Gary, Gary! No! That's fucked. Smokes. That's fucked. Smoked. That's so fucked.

Yeah, he's like, yo, babe, can I help you out with this home run thing? That's so fucked. Those guys are real dickheads. Megan ripped a few. Yeah. That was sick. I mean, we saw that aggression in the video. I didn't know.

She'd be a great two-hitter. All right, next up. Yeah. That was sick. I mean, we saw that aggression in the video. I didn't know. She'd be a great two-hitter. All right, next up. Yeah. The beefy boy shirt is not going to look good. You're keeping it on. Yeah. Like my skinny legs, a skinny bat, a beefy boy. You just have to win this all.

Yeah. PFT. Commenter. Let's go, PFT. Commenter. Let's go, PFT. Big Cat, you know him best. Is he going to be nice with it? I think he's going to hit two home runs. Maybe three.

That's sweaty. One. Oh, no. Rejected. No, you got to hit it over. He'll hit a couple, though. Okay. He's going to hit a couple. It's like hitting a monster. Oh. That's two outs. Yeah hit it over. He'll hit a couple, though. Okay. He's going to hit a couple. It's like hitting a monster.

Oh. That's two outs. Yeah, it is. What? It's the definition of an out. It should be two outs. I'm going to swing and miss a couple times. Oh, there you go.

You're going Griffey mode. I might swing and miss at all of them just as a bit, just as like to be funny. You know? That would be funny. Yeah. Lay down a bunt. Anytime. I just want to go on record.

Anytime I do swing and miss, it's just me being goofy. And if you don't laugh, you don't get it. Yeah, yeah. Just a little joke I'm doing. Four outs. Wild chase. Oh, man. This might be.

Who's going to get the first home run? PFT's got it. Oh, good pitch, though. The pitch, yeah. That was a good pitch. It would be very funny if we did an entire home run derby with no home runs. That would be awesome. Way to take one.

I want the winner to have like two home runs. Just one. One. It's going to be Nicky Smokes. He's going to hit one home run. I need to duct tape the bat. Actually, he can't see. He can't even see.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we'll get it. What? You're drunk now? I'm going to get one of those. I'm going to get one of those red bats we can play next week where all we do is hit the ball. The Mark McGuire?

Like Bam Bam. Yeah. Smokes, how many high noons have you had? Two? Okay. That's eight down. Damn, PFT's first swing. I was like, he's going to hit a couple.

All right, I'm buying a couple of these. Oh, are you throwing curveballs? Trying to strike him out now? I kind of want to pitch because I think I'd be a good pitcher. Get in there, though. Yeah, but I don't. You can pitch to me, KB. No, I know.

Fasoli's trying to make this about him. Typical Fasoli. Oh, Perry, Perry. You got a home run. Yeah typical for solely. The. Got a home run. The box of the bomb. Was that on his night out. Yeah. Wow. Mr. Clutch huge clutch.

Stan is the same ball. Oh nice. I good I. Oh oh. Good eye. Oh, camera. So, PFT is in the lead with one. Hell yeah, PFT. And that's going to be tough to beat.

Probably going to the second round. So, we're going to have six advance. Yeah. Five. Five advance. Yeah. Five and then to two. And then two, yeah. All right right five to two yeah that makes sense five all right let's see who's up next god that was legendary that was remember the i was remember the one he hit over the where were you the other thing is we got to get like a

golden ball that counts as like two home runs everyone gets one throw that ninth pitch of that. Ninth pitch. Big cat. Donnie! Donnie, you're up. You just really don't want to go in the first half. I don't know, Mook. I feel like his t-shirt's going to be restrictive. I know. Let's get him the beefy boy shirt. Alright, I ordered the red wiffle ball bat

and 50 more wiffle balls for Monday. The balls is a great investment. We need a buzzer. Oh The balls is a great investment. We need a buck. Oh! That was a nice swing. It's an easy swing. It's not a hard swing. Oh, there's one.

No. I think that was low. We got the call low. Good call by Spider. Didn't even have to go to ref. That's authority right there. I respect it. Way to go, Spider. Was that the right call?

No, it doesn't. You made it, so it was. That's right. It has to be above the line. It has to be above the line. Above the line. Thanks for confirming what you saw. Onder has three outs.

Spider get a little testy. I love it. Three down. Oh, no. Solis trying to jam him. There's one. Oh. The roof, man.

The roof. Donnie is dangerous if he can find those. Speaking of the roof, whoever edited that video of the half court shot of me Did you guys see that? Yeah, it was awesome nuts India yeah, I wasn't edit it went through the ceiling and back through the ceiling through the hoop. Oh, I didn't see that Seven outs Donny feels like he comes off the light that was real right?? Oh, that was edited. Yeah. That's insane. Oh, no. Eight down.

Eight down. Nine down. Oh, can you get one here? Sparks is such a dickhead. Corn. It's only me, Paul. Jesus. No. That's all you're flinching at. That's 10 Donnie's out There might be a swing off for the zeros

Yeah the zeros Zeros could have a swing off Honestly not a bad finish I mean Donnie You hit the ball very hard Great hits You did great donnie okay next up i don't want to go i want to go i don't i want to go oh i want to know how many i need to hit so i don't have to waste energy

brandon wally odds on favorite, Brandon Walker. He is the favorite to win this competition. If he doesn't win it, it will be a huge disappointment. Representing Antioch Pizza Shop, Brandon Walker. Eight locations in the Chicagoland. He wants to win. Show up and use code Brandon and you get a cheese pizza for $9.99. Tell him Brandon sent you. Do you think he's getting free pizza everywhere oh yeah oh yeah wait behind the red he's already

trying to cheat he wants this so bad so bad look at him no i was even what he's doing that was yeah i think that's the move though yeah it's not about bat speed at all It's about contact Nice smooth one Brandon Come on Brandon Come on Brandon Oh Damn

He's looking up at the ceiling He's looking up at the ceiling Who put the ceiling up there Get this fucking ceiling out of here There's one No He's looking up at the ceiling. He's looking up at the ceiling. DFT did it. Who put the ceiling up there? Three down. Get this fucking ceiling out of here. There's one. No. No.

No. Yo, look at this. Randy. It went over the line. No. It has to go in the window. Boy, that's right. He said it's gone.

No, that's not a home run. That's not a home run. It has to go in the window. Get in the box and do it again. Hey, I will eject you. Do you want to keep hitting me? No, that was you, not me. I made a mistake. Get in the box and ball don't lie.

Ball don't lie. Get in the fucking box. I didn't do the motion. I only spoke. I spoke too soon. Spider. I didn't do the motion. I only spoke. I spoke too soon. Yeah. I didn't do the motion. I only spoke.

I spoke too soon. Yeah, sure. I said it was a home run, but until I go like this. No, it has to go. With my finger. If you hit it to the window area, it has to go in the window. Yeah. That's actually the easiest place to judge a home run.

There's one. Then wait. Why do we have the white line up? For where the window stops. Oh. So if you hit it above the white line up? For where the window stops. Oh. So if you hit it above the white line, it also is a home run. Yeah, that was the replay. Showed that it did not go clearly.

It did not, in fact, go through the window. Yep. 100% did not. Yeah, we needed that. Upon video review. The review. The ball that fell to the court did not, in fact, go to the window. We need more betas in this office.

Oh, he took one. There, kid. We got ice, man. Nicky Smokes is talking to Fasoli, who God knows what he's saying. Oh. All right, yeah. I think it was that. Waste our time.

I think we should throw it hard. That was Brandon's prank. Seven down. Thank was Brandon's prank. Seven down. Thank God TJ put that. It would be funny if Brandon's prank right now was Fasoli has a baseball in his back pocket and just throws it at Brandon's head. That's what I meant by full body.

Thank God TJ has the home run counter up. So we don't lose count. Yeah, we should start everyone at ten home runs. Oh! Brandon! Seven outs, one home run. Two gets you in the next round, I'd say. Yeah.

Eight outs. One you're – I legitimately think one is going to get you in the next round. It might. It might. Nine outs. Last, well, potentially. There you go, Spider.

Don't misspeak again. Good take. Good take. Good take. Get out. Carry. Get out. No.

One home run. One home run. That's enough. All right, Brandon. Good. Get out. No. One home run. One home run. That's enough. All right, Brandon. Good job, Brandon. There you go, Brandon. Should we – we should probably make home runs carry over because no one's going to hit any.

Yeah. Home runs. It's a very narrow shoot. I know. You need a line drive swing, right? No, you need – You need like a smooth – You need like to hit 80% of an actual home run chute. I know. You need a line drive swing, right? No, you need... You need like a smooth... You need like to hit 80% of an actual home run.

Yeah. All right, look at what you're getting paid to do right now. Stop butchering. Yeah. This fucking office sucks. It's a narrow home run. We can't even do a home run. Our next office, we'll be able to play home run.

We were talking Strat. We were talking Strat. Your next office will be Wrigley Field. Titus. Titus. Here we go. Do we have any lefties? Moot's got to be a lefty.

No? What does that mean? So mean, but so true. Freak has to be a lefty. No? What does that mean? So mean, but so true. That freak has to be a lefty. That guy's got to be a lefty. Just special, you know? Rudy's both, yeah. Wait, where's Rudy?

He's doing that Pink Whitney. Oh, what's the problem? Tim and Tommy go just have sex with college women. No, you have to do the same picture. I'm walking to go here, and Fasoli just slightly smiles and just goes, good luck. Raises his eyebrows. This is the guy that's supposed to be.

Fasoli slightly smiles. We could change pictures after the first round. Everyone has to use. I don't know if y'all saw he tried to gas me. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, this is who he. He's a bad person. I know.

He's a bad person. Fasoli's powerful. Anyone see where the nooners went? I could use another nooner, too. The nooners. Right by the door. I don't have an opinion about that. Behind the pillar.

Between the pillar and the door. If Titus... Should we act like Harbaugh got suspended Like we have breaking news while he's doing this Oh Did that go over Damn That was a good hack We all agree that Spider did call that other one a home run, though.

You have to hit it into Chase, kid. I understand. Oh, you're saying he called it. Spider said home run. That's what he said. Thanks, man. Apparently he won't. We should be able to call out some Fasoli.

I was right down the middle. Yeah, you are throwing curveballs. Titus wants more screen time. I get it. It was a strike. I get it. Spit on. Oh, my goodness.

Oh! Three down, three down. I'm 100% going to swing and miss at least one. Oh, I'm probably going to do it six to seven times. I think Fasoli's glory hogging right now. Yeah, he's glory hogging. Four outs. Nooner. Nooners.

Down to mook. Good pitch. Yeah, let me just toss it across the room. What a toss. Hank, what the fuck? I'm two-time Barstool Home Run Derby champion. When was the last time you did it? Five years ago.

We've actually, I think this is exactly. In the last one, you opened by saying we do this every five years. And it was 2018. So in the first one, it was 2013. The big poppy one was 2013. So it's literally every five years we do a Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby, and I'm two-time champion. So the the first one was 2013. The big poppy one was 2013. So it's literally every five years we do a wiffle ball home run derby and I'm two-time champion. So the next one is 2028.

Or next Friday. Right, right, right. Whichever comes first. How many outs? Six down. Oh no, Titus. D1 athlete. Oh! Oppo boppo. That should count. Does thatpo. That should count.

Does that count? That should count. Oh, no, why should that count? It was above it. It was above the railing. It's in the field of play. It hit the pillar. That's a great piece of hitting. That's a great piece of hitting.

We're struggling to get home runs. Oh, that is not a home run. Oh, that's eight outs. That's eight outs. That should be eight outs. Eight outs. Eight outs. One homer.

Yeah, you can't take an extra swing. Good take. Yep. You want to get ejected? You can't take extra swings. Get in the box. Get him, Spider. Get him in the box, Spider.

Get him, Spider. You get ten swings. Nine outs. That evened out. We gave him that home run, then took away his. Yeah. What? I guess for this round, I think going forward, we should put that out of play.

Okay. Ten outs. One home run. All right. In front of. It's another obstacle. Three-way top of the lead. All right.

Well, we're struggling to get home runs. It's true. Fair enough. Brandon. Okay. So, a tie at one. Yeah. Yeah.

Three-way tie. We got some sluggers out here. Yeah. That would be very disappointing if a bunch of people came and hit two right now, Brandon. I'd be fine. Would it? You'd never get another hit? What if your last swing in this home run derby was your last swing in your life?

I thought I acquitted myself quite well. What do you mean by that? I hit the ball. Okay. Yeah. Who's up next? It's a tough field out there, man. It's a tough field.

Looks like me or Moresh. Moresh! Let's go, Moresh. Patek. Moresh. Let's go, Moresh. I would say the chat is most rooting for Moresh. Yeah, that hurts. Yeah. They're here to watch their.

Watch your favorite Barstool employees and root for the one. Let's go, Moresh. Oh, God. I just remembered that Shea hasn't gone yet. If he wins, I'll kill him. He can't. He can't. He can't win the first round. I just remembered that She hasn't gone yet If he wins I'll kill myself He can't He can't

He can't He's used to cricket rules Uh oh What the fuck? Oh man that was a nice swing If the graphic is the winner of the Barstow Annual Pond Derby Is Maresh Oh he's chasing Oh no If the graphic is the winner of the Barstow Annual Home Run Derby is Maresh.

Oh, he's chasing. Oh, no. Maresh, lock back in. Stay calm. That first swing, he was like, I'm going to hit unlimited home runs. Oh. Yep. Yeah. Let's go, Maresh.

Maresh might win. Maybe not. That wasn't your pitch. He's Adam Dunn out there. Strike out or home run. Got it. Bad depth perception. I'll hold one if you need to.

That's a team player right there. That smokes is getting that contract extension. Ooh. That's a second he sent at PFT. Seven down. This is going to be a hilarious tie at one. Yep. Two would be historic.

Two would be. Two and your Babe Ruth. Oh. Oh. Oh. What a fucking shot. He's Babe Ruth. Oh, my God.

That was a fucking bomb, dude. Eight out. Oh, shit. We should make in the conference room, like, two points. Yeah, I mean, we'll adjust. Everything is our first time playing. Don't cross the red line. How many outs?

Should shout that out in the mic, I guess. You got to call nine outs. Shout out how many outs? Should shout that out in the mic, I guess. How many outs? What a fucking rockety hit. Oh, alright. I'm going to confidently say Moresh is in the next round. You're in the next round. Way to go, Moresh.

He's walking back cock. Yeah. Doocy dude. Maybe back out for a little tip of the cap. Yep, here he comes. Curtain call. Curtain call. Yeah.

Dude, that was a bomb you hit into the conference room. That went far. Yeah. That one still hasn't landed. It didn't go far. All right, Maresh, I think you're in the second round. Yeah. I think it's pretty safe.

I saw you counting them blue hundies. Yeah, right here. Sitting right here. 500 bucks. Right here. All right, who's up next? That first time running, it was like...

Smoke. Seeing double. He just crossed himself up like a smoke smokes. Seeing double. That's double. Oh, he just crossed himself up like Sandy Sosa. Little point to the sky. Little he has probably five home run celebrations in his bag. And I don't think he's going to hit a home run. Yeah, I think he might hit like six.

You think so? Yeah. Yeah, I do, too. I see smokes. He's dead down the middle. I love it. I see smokes. What? Dead down the middle. I love it. Take your time. He's dressed like a waiter that just got off work.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he is. A long shift at Chili's. That's a perk out. Yeah, he's dressed perfectly for perks. Yeah, just for perks. A perk and a couch.

Oh. Hey, Fasoli. Perk and a couch. Oh. Hey, Fasoli, can I make a suggestion? It's easier if you're, like, behind the green line. I think you're getting a little close. He's scooted closer. No. No. No, no, no.

He's an idiot. Back. Back. Behind the green line. Back. Three outs. There you go. Is that a the green line. Back. Three outs. There you go. Is that a broken ball?

Three down. Oh. Trying to lean into that one. People are going to be pissed at how many balls I take. I can already tell you that. I won't swing it. I won't swing at shit that I can't hit. Come on, Smokes.

Lock in, kid. So I guess what we're learning is Nicky Smokes kind of sucks. Does he? Not as a person. Oh, nookes. Lock in, kid. So I guess what we're learning is Nicky Smokes kind of sucks. Does he? Not as a person. Oh, no. Oh, yes, he is a person. Mostly as a person. He's seeing double, folks.

He is seeing double right now. Five down. He's not totally drunk. Six outs. So docile. Yeah. He's just vibing. A visionless Nicky Smokes is a tame, chill dude.

Yeah. I feel like he's taking good pitches. He's winning the bad pitches. Oh, he's taking a step out of the box. A little timeout. We should have something like a kid or something run up with the body armor, like in the real home run. Yeah.

I need some pressure. Yeah, I might take a body armor timeout uh-oh eight down that was a good pitch that was a good pitch forward hit nine outs come on smoke progress yeah what is he doing hey that's crazy giving up Nine outs. Come on, Smokes. What is he doing? Hey, that's crazy. Giving up. Ten outs, that's it. Get out.

Jesus. I just sent Nicky Smokes another thumbs down. Yeah, yeah. That was a terrible line. Everybody online tweet Nicky Smokes thumbs down. Yeah, tweet Adam Nicky Smokes thumbs down. I want him to get two thumbs down in the chat Yeah, I need you to tweet Adam thumbs down

All right, who's up next get Nancy I'm ready to go yeah I'm in big cat. Let's go. Beefy Boy. Please call him by his real name. Beefy Boy. Beefy Boy. Chicago. Chicago. Hat backwards.

So, current standings, you hit two and two people hit one. Is that where we're at? Yeah, those are the sluggers. Three people hit one. You hit one, too. Yeah, yeah and two people hit one is that where we're at yeah those are the sluggers three people hit one three you hit one two yeah yeah three people hit one one out beefy boy good hack two outs swinging hard yeah the you should not swing hard that's yeah the problem. But you are going to swing hard. Yeah.

Because if you do clobber one, it's worth it. Four out. You don't? Why? Five down. Five down. This is tough. You got this.

Lock in. Five down. Five down. This is tough. You got this. Lock in. Oh no. Six outs. Late. Seven down. Take a breather. Take a breather.

Walk it off. Walk it off. Asolo, you need this more than he does. Maybe speed him to get over. Get that big pop that. Help yourself. Do y'all want to pass out the – do y'all just want to take the hundreds and pass them out? He'll think he forgot to –

I bet you could take one and just be like, hey, there's only 400 left. Oh, beefy boy. Come on, beefy boy. Beefy boy. Oh, no. Oh. Jim, no. Nine down. Oh. Dude, PFT is just in the honey hole. Nine down.

Nine down? You want it up there? There it is. Oh. Damn. He smoked that one. Cut out. Heartbreak.

I should have taken more pitches. Did you have one? Nope. Damn. Oh, my God. Smoked. Damn. That last one was a bomb.

Really disappointed in myself. You showed flashes, kid. I should have taken pitches. He was jamming me up. So currently we're at about 60 or 70 outs and five home runs yeah and i can't going about how i expect i can't even make the brandon walker complaint if it's too narrow i just wasn't it's not really a complaint that's an actual thing i'm sure zach would have hit like eight i know he would have and you could because that last one would have been a home run and then he

and then he would have eliminated himself yeah he would he would have. Last one was a nice shot. I don't need this. Just didn't go where I needed to go. Hot and humble. Big Cat, can you send me somewhere in Austin just for anything? Yeah. X-Men. Done. All right, who's up next?

I'll go do the stream there at his place. How many people have hit home runs? Three have one, and he has two. All right, so I need everyone to hit none, and I can be in a tiebreaker. Sit, boy, sit. Sit. Mookie bats. I'm rooting for everyone to get none.

Let's go, pit man. Mook. I'm going Mook will get one. Mook will get one. Mook, if you don't get one, we're doxing you. Real name reveal. Oh, they don't know his real name? No, no one knows his name's Connor.

Alright, here we go. Come on, Mook. Did he convert? To what? They stance. We made him convert to his name. Oh! Oh!

Hey! To what? That's what y'all did on Linus? We made him convert to his. Oh. Oh. Hey! Common, MookW. Wow. Mook, if you hit two, you should walk out of there. I think he's using the court. I think he's hitting three. If you hit three, you're automatically in the next.

He'll be in the next one already. There's only four people left right yeah but you know kb's good for two yeah you good for two kai i don't know if i can swing oh he's going to mook if you hit three just walk off because they don't carry over hit three you're dead to me yeah so oh my god bro so if if the other guys start hitting two you guys might be out yeah you'll have to have a swing off for for the last spot so So right now. One of them good. He's hitting it great. So right now, Mook and Mook and Maresh are safe in the fact that at bare minimum, they're in a home runoff.

I mean, I think they're pretty. Yeah, but if everyone else hits three, they would do a home runoff. If everybody else hits three, they should just be in the championship. That should just be the championship. Mook, what a performance. be in the championship. Yeah, that's true. That should just be the championship. Six outs. Mook, what a performance. He's an athlete. Yeah.

Oh. Six outs. Six outs. I think we'll do, if there's a tie, we'll just do. Sudden death. Sudden death. First one to hit. Yeah.

Yeah. If you hit a home run, you'll close death. Sudden death. First one to hit. Yeah. If you hit a home run, you'll close tonight. Oh, jeez. Nicky said if you hit a home run. Oh, and then he. You'll close tonight. What did he do? Only he knew he was off queen.

He thrusted. He thrusted. That's gone. That's gone. Wow, there it is. There's three. There's three. He's in the next round.

He's in the next round. Let's go, Mook. Is Malasek just casually juggling in the back? Malasek's being sweet. Malasek only does stuff to get pussy. Mook, what a performer. Didn't even use all ten outs in the next round. How smart are you? Save some energy.

How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I told you, I take G-hacks. Bad G-hacks. Yeah, you said G-hacks, and Let them know that you got more. Bad G-Hacks. Yeah, you said G-Hacks, and I didn't believe you at first. Way to go, Mook. Did you play like Pop Warner? I played baseball.

Not what? Not baseball. You played Little League? Little League, yeah. I played baseball. I played through high school. All right, who's up next, TJ? Oh, you played in high school?

Yeah, I was terrible. But you played. Yeah, I was a bullpen catcher. Oh, in high school? You're a bullpen. But you played. Yeah, I was a bullpen catcher. Oh, in high school? You were a bullpen catcher in high school? Shay! I was the best bullpen catcher

in the tri-state. Y'all have to root against Shay. Ever get at bats? Minimal. I hope Chase swings and misses 10 times. Why wouldn't you just play JV? I will literally come

with my pants. You're just there to hang with your boys at that point. But you played, okay. I played first base. Did you get a hit? Yeah, I've hit.

I batted like 2-15 probably. That's not bad. It's terrible, but yeah. But I took pride in the bullpen. We would go to away games, and I would go to the opponent's bullpen. You're in a baseball hotbed too. Oh, it's a big baseball place, yeah. Holy Ghost. You ever hear of them?

Is that a school? Holy Ghost? Pumped out a bunch of MLB players. Somebody photoshopped Muresh on the Mark McGuire. Oh, hell yes. One out. Oh, shut up, Muresh dog.

Alright. Alright. I might have to pitch the next round Cause it's always Two outs I don't know Is he bad or good? I don't know He's throwing a lot of inside stuff

I kind of Personally I fucked with his shit Yeah I love inside stuff You fuck with his shit I fuck with his shit I wouldn't have He doesn't

I'll keep him We'll keep him Like that was a bad pitch Alright Fuck with the shit. I wouldn't have. We'll keep them. We'll keep them. That was a bad pitch. All right. You got to be selective with Malasek. Juggle. Four out.

Four down. Forever. Look at that stance. No, thank you. You don't want to look? No. He asked me if I wanted a hot dog. Who asked that?

Can I get out of my Beefy Boy shirt? What do you think I was responding to? Oh, I didn't see anything. The Beefy Boy shirt is not as funny when you hit zero home runs. That's like anti-beef. Yeah. Anti-beef. Oh! Hey!

We don't mean that. No. Six outs. No, the only reason I'm kind of rooting for Che is because now there will be a home runoff. And Brandon could not advance. Yeah, that's funny. So that is funny. I want to beat Brandon so bad.

You already did, brother. You're the favorite. Yeah, you are the favorite. So rollover or no on home runoff? No rollover. Eight outs. So right now we have PFT, Titus, Brandon, and someone else with one? Or no? I think it's just the three of them?

Yeah. Che. Donnie. And Che. So, yeah, four guys with one. So we're going to have to have a swing off no matter what. Nine outs. For that last.

Che, you need this to be safe oh good job jay all right we got three more in the first round five hundred dollars on the line Let's see who is next While Big Cat undies I think Big Cat should get a swing In a regular t-shirt Oh that could change everything One swing he hits a homer

Then he's back And then we give it back to the chat Yeah like the dudes in the office basketball episode I just go start Just hitting every single one. Oh, let's go, Nicky. Let's go, Kyle. Let's go, Kyle.

Kyle. Let's go, Kyle. Kyle. I would like to make excuses, Marash. I think I just sucked today. It's not on your game? Notice I said today because I do think that I have a good home run swing, just not today.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. Oh, okay, okay. Good contact, good contact. Oh, KB. That was kind of gone. That was a shot. It hit the top, it hit the top, top hole. Oh, KB. That was kind of gone. That was a shot. It hit the top pole. Oh, um says no.

Um says no. Um says no. The Sully's saying I got it. The Sully, I'm the one who got it. You're the pitcher. Get it? I got it. Two outs.

Oh, KB. Spider runs a tight ship. KB looks so strong. He's got that, like, old-timey stance. What do you say? Yeah, he could take Whitey Ford deep. Satchel Paige wouldn't be able to strike KB. And then go back to his second job selling cars.

Vacuum salesman. Who hit 50 bombs. He'd be a chimney sweep. Five outs. All right, come on, KB. Straighten those out. Cow. Get out.

Get gone. That's like almost two. I know. Those are the frustrating ones. He had two bombs. He had two bombs that didn't make it. Six down. Oh, what was that?

He's jamming you. Talking about. That was the tiniest little dink. Get out. Get out. Hey. Let's go, KB. One over and seven outs.

Let's go, KB. That was a beautiful swing. A beautiful swing. Up. Yeah. Oh, KB. That was a beautiful swing. A beautiful swing. Up. Yeah. Oh, no. I still think he wins. I think Kyle's going to win. This is a card.

That was not a home run? No. Fuck. It kind of is. We'll adjust the rules. Next time we play, we'll figure out what. We'll have to play, like, long ways. Yeah, yeah.

We need, like, Tampa, like, catwalk rules or something. we play, we'll figure out what. We'll have to play long ways. Yeah. We need like Tampa catwalk rules or something. Yeah. Or we can play long ways and get a fence. Long ways. You should just fly. Long. Oh. Yeah!

That's over. Uh-oh. I'm not feeling so comfortable. What do you mean? Where did it land? It's on the lip. Nope. It didn't go over the fence?

No, it got stuck on the lip. Oh, no. Spider's call. Spider's call. Spider's call. Iba, where is it? I'm don't lie. I mean, I can't.

No, I don't know if it is. It's right up there. It's right here. Home run. Home run. Hey! Home run Home run That's justice I feel like Kyle hit three home runs

Oh yeah He's counting it That is just Good call Spider Maybe you go from the top down Spider is now beyond This is not What is going on

This is not smart at all Oh there it is Yeah Okay Oh that's where it was That was not a home run We're counting it Now, beyond – this is not – What is going on? This is not smart at all. Oh, there it is. Okay. Oh, that's where it was? Yeah, that was not a home run. We're counting it. It's pretty cut and dry.

Like, that's the one section that seems pretty cut and dry. Yeah, but listen. Kyle's the people's champ. That is wild. Throw that off his stank. I love that. Nine outs, I believe, right? 92, 92.

He's got to hit one more okay two homers he did great acts there kyle he did get absolutely robbed because he hit one that hit that upper beam yeah no one else said that happened to them no no one did no the upper beam next to the the green room oh okay like he. Like, he hit, like, the beam that's, like, actually in home run territory, which we counted someone else's home run earlier. Me or Hank. Just want to rock, paper, scissors.

All right, so Kyle has two. Maresh has two. Mook has three. Who else has two? Anyone else? That's it. So there will be a swing off. Yeah, PFT. PFT, Brandon, Titus will all swing off and che

it'll just be first to hit a home run all right let's go hank hank's gonna take this very seriously hank is uh like you know he's half business what What percent content is Hank? Whenever we do the fun stuff. Yeah, he volunteered to do our weed taste testing for Barstool Kush yesterday. Oh! That was a problem. That was a bomb. Hank might be an issue.

Oh. One over, one out. I said two outs. Oh, this is scary. Yeah, no, I think Hank is. Hank, if you hit three, you're safe. Yep. Oh, shit. Hank's a stick. Hankanks a stick hanks a stick oh my god stick mook you got a challenger i'm not giving the 500 to hank yeah hanks an issue oh my god all right you're good there he is hanks the next round wow that was three home runs and, what, two outs?

What's up, White Sox, Dave? Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave, you want in? Maybe. Are you still injured? You can't swing a bat? He's still injured. How's that Basset hound?

Is Brandon still crying about that? Yeah. Come on, Nicky. Nicky's the last one up. Oh, okay. All right. Guess what? We didn't see that. It wasn't on camera. It wasn't on camera? Yeah, it's one out, but don't come on Nikki a week Nikki's last one up. Oh, okay. All right. We guess what we didn't see that It wasn't on camera. Yeah, but don't worry guys

Okay, okay, I blame that on spider We got it go back to yeah watching them. Yeah, here we go. What's up foot? All right, Nick's got three outs for people who didn't see any of his three outs, they're all bombs. Three down. Four outs. Who's leading right now? Hank and Mook. Mook with three.

Hank would have. We stopped early, too. Hank came in. Both stopped early. Yeah, both stopped early. But he really stopped early. Yeah. Yeah, he's an issue.

Better take out his fucking knees. Six outs. Yeah. Seven outs. What do you mean? What do you mean? Damn it. Watch that foot.

That's all right. That's all right. Come on, Nicky. Eight outs. I got it. Yeah that foot. That's all right. That's all right. Come on, Nicky. Eight outs. I got it. Yeah, wait, what? We just drafted manly things. Get a new bat.

Get a new bat. Pick up the other bat. Switch bats. It's a bad bat. It's a bad bat. Here we go. It's a bad bat. How many outs?

Nine. Okay, come on,. How many outs? Nine. Okay, come on, Nick. Come on, Nick. All right. All right. All right. Yep. All right.

So, Maresh, Mook, Hank, and KB are all in the next round. We need PFT, Brandon, Titus, and Che in a swing off. So how it's going to work is, like, you obviously get rebuttals in the fact that if, like, PFT swings and hits a home run, the other three still get one swing. But it's the first one to hit a home run is in the next round. I got it in my own. And they're just going to go one. They're going to rotate. So get both bats.

They're going to rotate. What order? Let's just go order that you swung, so whoever was first. PFT. Let's go, PFT. Where's Titus and Che? Che, get out there. Swing off, Che.

Where's Titus? He went to, the bathroom I think Good eye Good eye What's the pitch count on Fasoli? He's gotta be getting tired He's getting tired for sure Alright Brandon you just go

It's at least 100 pitches I hope you don't hit one Alright Brandon Come on Brandon Brandon, you just go. It's at least 100 pitches. I hope you don't hit one. I hope you get 40. All right, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. That was – Nope. Che.

Che. Where is Titus? I think I'm going to pitch the next round Yeah, yeah, yeah I think this is Titus No, I didn't hit a home run He knew That was very mean

Yeah He's close to being ejected That was very mean. Yeah. He's close to being ejected. All right, Titus. Here he is. Take a cut, Titus. Swing off. First home run gets in. Hustle up.

Into the box. Two of them? You're right, Titus. There's a lot of pressure. We're not even talking. I'm nervous. I love all these guys to death. I don't know who I'm rooting for. Swing off.

Well, no, not Jay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Brandon. Yeah, I'm rooting for PFT. Yeah. Yeah, I'm rooting for PFT. Yeah. Yeah. 100% rooting for PFT. Yeah.

This might be it, though. Yep. Let's go. Yeah! All right. Brandon's hitting for finesse. So Che and Titus have a chance. No, one.

So Che and Titus have a chance. They, one. So Che and Titus have a chance, they have to hit a home run on this one. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on, Titus.

All right, Brandon, you stay out there. You got to go first. Is that more? Yep. So it is Brandon, KB, Mook, Maresh. That's my coaching tree. That's my coaching tree. Maresh, you hit two?

I hit two. All right, so we'll have KB and Maresh go next, and then Mook and Hank because they both hit three. Ready? Yep. Second round. We're going to get to – Totally pitching?

Yeah, do you want me to pitch? All right, I'll pitch. Fired. We just drafted a man of shit on the dog walk, and I feel like there's nothing more manly than being the best at intramural sports. Or like... Being the best at what? Intramural sports or like pick-up sports.

There's a lot more. That's not manly. That's for the guys who are trash in high school. Oh, Brent. Big Cat, did you just say good pitch? Yeah. One out. Two outs.

Two outs. Two outs. Gone. Two outs. Two outs. Gone. Three outs. Brandon, take a hack. He's got the swing speed down. Yeah, he's not. I don't like what he's doing.

No. This is like a loophole. Oh, he got one. Shit. You got to swing like a man. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

I agree, Dave. You don't understand how bad he wants to win. Yeah. Winning shit's not manly. You said being really good at it. Being really good at it. No, bro. You gotta exert dominance while doing it.

Three outs. It's not just about winning. Just assuming dominance is bad. Winning a war wouldn't be bad. Yeah, right. Oh! Four outs. Physically imposing will on people. Four outs. Physically imposing will on people.

Four outs. Especially in a setting like this. In front of your peers. Yes. Five down. He's trying to, like, place the ball up there. Did Malasek just get hit in the face? What was that?

Hand, but. Anything but that face of his. We need to talk to Malasek soon, by the way. About what? The showering thing. Oh, he doesn't shower? He doesn't use soap. Oh, yeah, that's what it is.

What? Malasek's anti-soaping shrimp. He's anti-soap. We should run back the turd experiment with him. Part two? Yeah. Diarrhea this time. Diarrhea.

Does diarrhea lose its fucking stink? The turd part two. Nine outs. I bet you diarrhea dries faster. Here we go. Ten outs, one homer. Who's left? Definitely does.

More surprise. Drys faster than what? A regular turd. Solid turd. Who's. Rise faster than what? A regular turd. Who's up? KB. Maresh. Who's up? Patel.

Hank. Big Tech Patel. Do we know who else is? Oh, breaking news. The Big Ten is expected to discipline Michigan for the in-person scouting and ongoing sign-stealing investigation and will prohibit Jim Harbaugh from being on the sideline until the conclusion of the regular season. He will be allowed to coach during the week.

Will he be allowed to coach from not on the sideline that's the question allowed to sit in a hospital bed like Hugh Freeze and phone and play calls TJ is this real that's real yeah does this count like so does this count for his record that's a good question I don't know they're not like vacating wins or anything. His personal record. I know. I would imagine still it does. It would be his win. Yeah, I think so, right? I would think, yeah.

What would they do when he was suspended from the start of the season? You guys ready? Yeah. Yeah. Do those count for him? They should. Nope. Yeah, I don't know.

I just like the idea of a vacated win. That win never happened. Have you guys made any cricket jokes? Yeah, a lot. Okay. Just making sure. Double checking. Go ahead.

Give it your best. Give it your best. I'm conjuring one up right now. How are you? All right, stand by. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Hey, Maresh, it's not a cricket paddle.

That was pretty right in your face. That was, yeah, you know. Crafty. Was that a joke? That was, yeah. We count that as a joke? It was more of a chirp. Yeah.

All right, I'll think of something better. Dave, did you ever do a home run derby? I'll think of something better. Dave, did you ever do a home run derby? I did in Cooperstown, New York. Oh, you were the guy? I was, yeah. It went alphabetical order, and we were the Wheaton Blazers, so I was last of 48 teams to go, and I didn't hit anything. Yeah, I was in the golden arm.

In Cooperstown? Yeah. What's the golden arm in cooperstown yeah what's the golden arm yeah we the most accurate throw yeah from the outfield there was like a little it's kind of like shoot the puck with baseball how'd you do oh horrible i got the yips i like that contest though they should do that in the all-star game are we won the around the horn so the cooperstown dreams part the fields are tiny so you're a big boy, cubescent boy, you're hitting like 85 a game. That's why I was in the home run derby and I didn't fucking hit one. You were the biggest boy? I was the same size now.

Oh. I'm the same size now as when I was. Did you hit any in the real games? Yeah. You did? Yeah, a bunch. All right, who's up? We want like nine and one.

Zero from a rush? Zero. Dave, you had super early puberty? Oh yeah, I was one of those guys. When did you get your first pube? Nine, ten years old probably. What? No! I was a nine year old pube.

I was shaving when I was 12. Shaving your face? Yes. It wasn't like this, but mustache like you had to shave when you were 12. Yeah. Come on, KB. I shaved for the first time when I was in college. Yeah.

When was the first time you were jerking off? I want to find my sixth grade VHS football tapes, because I was the kid you gave the ball to and it was just gone. KB's struggling a little bit up here. Were those the glory days? Oh, yeah. 10 through 12. Was that peak? Oh, yeah. 10 through 12. Was that peak?

Oh, yeah. That was by far my peak. I rode it out until I was like 17, 18, and then after that, you know, here we are. Were your friends jealous that you had a pube and they didn't? Yeah. I showed it off to them all the time. Oh, manliness. Pull the pube out.

Do you still have it? Oh, you pulled it out? Yeah. Or do you still have it? I framed you pulled it out? Yeah. Or do you still have it? I framed it. Is he throwing junk? No! You might just have a natural cutter.

Has anybody hit a homer off? There's Brandon. Brandon hit one, right? Brandon was playing ping pong. Yeah. He was staying warm. I don't like it at all. Eight outs.

I'm only counting one swing. Eight outs. He got cut like a man. Eight outs, no homer. What was he doing? He was finessing it. I mean, like it at all. Eight outs. I'm only counting one swing. Eight outs. He got cut like a man. Eight outs, no home runs. What was he doing? He was finessing it. I mean, that's what you got to do. Take a hack.

Get out. Yo. Oh! Ten outs. Damn it. All right, Mook. Hank and Mook. Have you guys seen the bunting derby?

No. The one that they do in Korea? Yeah. Oh, it's awesome. Can we show it? You went. Hank went last. It's the most electric event you've ever seen. What that they do in Korea? Yeah. Oh, it's awesome. Can we show it? You went, Hank went last. It's the most electric event you've ever seen.

What do they do? There's a little target down the third baseline, the first baseline, and they try to stop the ball as close to the bullseye as possible. It's like bocce. It's great. Ow! If Brandon wins off one, that's insane. Insane.

Well, no, we go down to two after this. Oh, you're right. A triple, a three-way tie from zero swing off. Did you name your pube, Dave? The two? No, I should have in hindsight. There we go. Nice.

That was a nice-looking ball, too. That was a shot. Damn it. That's – oh, I thought it was going to sneak out. Four outs, one home run. Hank did design this wiffle ball arena, so he knows the geometry. He knows the short porches. He practices all the time.

Five outs. Oh. Those things fucking sting when they get you, too. Yeah. He plays a lot of golf, too, so that translates. A lot of golf. Has there ever been, like, a Mac McClung of the home run derby? Like somebody?

White guy? Oh! Todd Frazier. Somebody from, like, Miners? Someone who's, like, not even a starter. Todd Frazier is, like, the most oddball in the last ten years. He's been the most oddball in the last ten years, I'd say. Get out, Hank.

He wasn't good? He was good. He was good. He was good. But it was like, it was pretty surprising. If you look at the list of names, it's pretty surprising that he's on there. Kyle doesn't have his headphones on, so I'm just relaying. Mook! Feeding me something?

That's my boy Todd. So Hank got two, right? Mook. I think Spider gave him that second one. Mook. Two's in. Hank got two, congrats Hank. He's in, he's in the finals.

Let's go Mook! So you have to, Mook has to hit one. He has to hit one to be in a swing off. Swing Hank. He's in the finals. Let's go, Mook. Mook has to hit one. He has to hit one to be in a swing off. Swing off. Two to be in. Brandon. Yeah. With you?

With Brandon. Brandon. Two to be in the finals with Hank. I think what we can all take away from this derby is that Nicky Smoke's got zero home runs. That's what we'll remember. Close. Very astute observation.

Where do you want it? Right here. Nice open stance from Mook here. He's getting good contact. Ooh. It's a little under. Mook, breathe. Mook used to play baseball.

Step back. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like he's swinging a little gingerly. What pro team would you put him on? Ohio, some team from Ohio. Dive out. That was it right there.

Good eye, good eye. Great eye. Oh! Did he get robbed? I think the light robbed him. That's not gone? That was fucking bullshit. What did it hit? It hit like everything up there except that was bullshit.

Alright, let's go Haas. Lock in. That was a nice pitch. Ah! Now you're trying to get it out. That was a nice pitch Ah Oh Mook Breathe But yeah the bunting derby is awesome You guys need to watch that

I would like that a lot Where is this? Korea Or Japan 1-2 I think it's Korean I'm trying to boondoggle a Japanese baseball trip or Korean Let's go move I hit the wood above the window He is clobbering these.

Oh! Oh, wide out. Oh, for you, boy. All right, he's in the finals, now he's gonna swing off of Brandon. Oh! That was good. That was good. That was good.

Good pitch. That was good. Good pitch. Swing off. And Brandon, let's not reiterate. We can't say it enough. He wants to win this so badly. Oh, here we go. Here's the bunting derby. Oh, nice.

The bunt king. Look at that. Oh, this is awesome. And the crowd goes nuts for it. That's awesome. Wow. This is like a Wii Sports type game. Want to get closest to the circle?

Yeah. Oh, Brandon's up. He's being patient. He just avoided that pitch. He's like, I won't get hit now. Just toss the bat, mook send him home oh

oh, Hank's rooting for Brandon he doesn't want to face mook no he just really hates Joe Biden that's why I said that yeah yeah yeah oh, a lot of English on that one. That's not going to do it. Ooh. Oh, Mook wanted that one.

I did too. No, he didn't want it. I disagree. Now this. Look at the finesse. I think Brandon exerts most of his calories being angry. Oh yeah. That's where he gets most of his exercise.

Gone. Oh, it's a home run. Gone? Yep, gone. Mook has a chance to equalize, though. GG's. Easy dub, Hank. No!

Ah! Good showing from Moop. All right, Brandon's up. Final, Brandon Hank. Hank is going to mop the floor with him. That's what it's looking like. You know any fencing dudes? I don't.

Not bad. Do you? No. I don't know anything about their culture. Actually, I do. Jerry O'Connell. He's the fencer? He was like the 10th ranked fencer in the NCAA when he was in college.

I choked so bad, dude. No, no, you did well. His pitches are different. Two outs. Three outs. Sprint, swing like a man. Swing like a man. Three outs. Brandon, swing like a man. Swing like a man. Three down.

Four outs. Five outs. Five down. Six outs. Is Brandon getting too cute with it out he likes it there. All right. Five down. That's right where he wants it. Six outs. Is Brandon getting too cute with it out there? I feel like he's just trying to... Six outs.

Yeah. He's trying to place it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a half swing. He wants the clip to look cool too. Six outs. Good eye.

Six outs. Come on, Brandon. That one just... Six outs. Come on, Brandon. Seven outs. Eight outs. He might have messed up his swing this might be a Josh Hamilton all over again eight outs nine outs all right and let's see if Hank can win it Nine outs. All right. Ten outs. And let's see if Hank can win it with one. All right, Hank. Ooh, Brandon.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Has Brandon ever gotten second place in anything? Ooh, he's stopped that time. Wait. Oh, Hank's going to hit that. No, he's going lefty. Oh, yes. Yes, Hank.

Do it, Hank. His arms are backwards. his arms are backwards his arms are backwards Four outs Yeah, Hank kind of fucked himself yeah, I got a swing if he does one more swing Even if I swing off right-handed. I think he's got to be left-handed the rest of the way. Oh, oh six outs Seven down Eight outs. Oh, no. Going to swing off.

I'll let you go. I'll let you swing off. Is this hubris? Are we witnessing hubris? We are. Wow. He flew too close to the sun. Oh!

Hey! Hey! We did it. That ball flew too close to the sun. Wow. Nice job. Way to go, Henry. Henry Aaron.

Can we get that graphic with one home run behind? Winning the home run derby with one. One, thanks. Congrats to Hank Lockwood, winner of the first annual home run derby. Yes. With a home run. Are we going to be dropping five bills a day on this? Because I'll suck it up and play with a bum shoulder.

Five bills a day. Oh, Big Kev taking one shot from half court. To win it back? $500 back. Oh, no. Not this again. Look at this photo op. What's going on?

Oh, for the chat? No, to win it back. Oh, God. Oh! Damn. Double or nothing. That was the warm-up. That was the warm-up.

If you just yell stuff at Big Cat, he'll accept the challenge. He's like Will Ferrell in Austin Powers. Yeah, give me $1,000. Didn't work. Damn. All right. We got anything else? We good?

I think we're good. Sign us off, PFT. All right. Well, thanks for tuning into the Yak. You can check it Monday through Friday at 12 p.m. Central. Do you guys say that every time you see it? Yeah, every time. Every single time.

Check it. Tap in with The Yak. Thanks for watching. Congrats to Hank Lockwood. And I'll say the thing that we always say. Nicky Smokes didn't hit a home run. All right. All right.

All right. I got cheese.