The Yak - Mintzy Went Perverted Crowd Surfing | The Yak 2-19-24

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

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and more with code YAK. All right. Titus. Titus was here, but he was reading us a children's book, and some dude came in and just whispered in his ear, and he had to leave. Titus is out sick. How sick is he to miss dressing up?

I know the costume that he bought. No. I know how much money he put into it. I know what it was going to be. Fuck. And it was going to be pretty good. I was wondering. I'm sick, too.

Okay, so Nick walks in and says, I think I'm getting sick. You are sick. Yeah, but me and Titus have similar biological makeups. College athletes. Was it a specific president? He might make it up tomorrow, so I don't want to give it away. Okay, yeah, don't say anything then. I can show you guys. I also don't think you should make it up tomorrow. I don't think you should make it up tomorrow, so I don't want to give him away. I can show you guys.

I also don't think he should make it up tomorrow. I don't think he should make it up tomorrow. That'd be unfair. Or does that president have a birthday? Can there be another use for this? With this president assassinated on a certain day? There could be. I'll find it for you boys, and I'll show it to you boys.

So he texted us last night. Actually, he texted Saturday and said, this weekend sucks, I'm sick. Hopefully by Monday I'm okay. He texted us last night and says, I'm 50%, I'll see you in the morning. And he just was too sick. You are sick.

You're getting sick. So it's a sick show right now. I wish we had today off. That would be nice. Would have been sweet. Fuck. You okay? I'm not sick. i'm like always a little

bit sick but i'm not bad enough to stay home why are you sitting like that i don't know it's it's that's feminine it is very he's never sat like it's gia inspired and i yeah that yeah look at that just kind of standing up right now put your feet put your soles down yeah you want no you want them down soles up you want soul up or soul down put them down thank you thank you now you just look like everybody else yeah i don't like it your light is shining a little less brightly than it was seconds ago it's this fucking white sweatshirt it's making me glow out here no you put it on i did yeah i chose that and you always wear a hat which is you always wear a green hat i mean which – you always wear a green hat, I mean, which just vibrates against your scalp.

It's the only hat I can wear. Why? No, you could do a gray one or a black one. Oh, you're right. Yeah, what? Did you borrow that hoodie from Mintz? No, this hoodie was lying around the office, and I said, that's mine now. You want to talk about him?

No, although he is hovering already. There's no reason he's here at all he said he was available which is good he texted me he said i'm here for the yak yeah he texted me this morning said i i will be available for the yak i'm like all right man good to know right so he he had a video go you know he did a mince thing this weekend so he he knows to be in range of the yak at all times when something like that happens. But whatever. We can get to him later. How many people do you think touched his cock?

Dude, he got 100 physicals, 100 mammograms. Dude, no one does that prone position. Face down. What's that guy doing? He wanted to cop a feel. Oh, my God. And already. Dick down.

Dick down. His dick is out. Oh, getting copped. His dick is out. Oh, yeah. I mean, perfect prediction on the pants. That was the easiest prediction of all time. Yeah, it was.

Can we go back to the flip there? And the hit of the vape. Look at him grasping that. He hit a vape right there. The flip is just. And did he take the vape with him? Yeah. This dude's head was definitely poking in the chute for that shit.

Yes. That's an addiction that I can't comprehend. Oh, and he. The flip was just a drop that they recovered. They dropped him and were able to save him. His cock is hitting the hands like the stopper of the Wheel of Fortune. Flip was just a drop that they recovered. They dropped him and were able to save him from one. His cock is hitting the hands like the stopper of the Wheel of Fortune wheel. Yeah, bitch.

Holy shit. I guess, Chet, we can start with the movies here. I don't know where he is. I think he's in the gambling cave. Hey, Mets. Dude, I would never want that many people touching me at one time. Face down's crazy. Insane.

A face down stage dive's nuts. But also, it wasn't a stage dive. Like, if you were to dive into a pool, that's not it. That was like a belly flop. He was boogie boarding in a lake. Yes. It's no momentum. He was also very, very nervous for it.

Yes. He was very scared of it because they said he was going to do it. It wasn't exactly spontaneous. He said on Wednesday, I'm going to do that this weekend. And he did it. He did it. And his pants – I'm a fat guy. He's less fat than me now. But belts are essential for guys like us.

I don't know where his belt is. His belts never work. He has no – I don't get like us i don't know where his belt is his belts never work he has no ad i don't get how it the belts don't work i think it's because he's not a solid i think ben mints his plasma he might be and that's the scariest part he might be he's got no bone i think he might be plasma i'm uh i'm texting him. Just go ahead and let's just rip off the bandaid and do it now. Yeah, sure.

So Big Cat will be back tomorrow, right? Is that right? I believe he is. Is he traveling back tomorrow? I don't know. I don't know the answer to that question. I think he'll be back tomorrow. I think he's back tomorrow.

I think Titus will hopefully be back tomorrow. Maybe we'll have a full crew tomorrow. I don't know. And Kate. Oh, yeah. Kate's back. Kate as well. Yeah. So will this be back tomorrow. Maybe we'll have a full crew tomorrow. I don't know. And Kate. Oh, yeah. Kate's back. Kate as well. Yeah.

So will this be our first seven crew? Do we ever have seven? I don't know. I guess maybe we did before Kate went off for maternity leave. Yeah, New Yorker seven. Yeah, but I mean out here. This particular seven. How soon until Kate gets fucking pregnant again?

Oh, my. How funny would it be? She acts like she's not a working human anymore uh-huh like her her body doesn't function the way it used to her back doesn't work uh she acts like she's just she's just a lump did you see the beeve socks i did no no is that i i mean i those aren't socks they're not socks anymore no they have they don't even have sock integrity. Here we go. Oh,

checking. Oh, he's a little too. Oh, went ahead and check the cock. He woke up ready for this. Yeah. He might've crowd surfed this morning.

Come sit down. Pick any seat you'd like. Sup big dog. How we doing? Hey, Ben. Good. Good.

How was the weekend? Oh, a little tipsy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. Mm-hmm. Hey, Ben. What are you? How was the weekend? A little tipsy. Mm-hmm. All right. Hey, Ben. What's up, fellas? How we doing? Good. You crowd surfed this weekend. I did.

I guess one question. You went dick down. Probably... Your dick had to have been out. Unless your dick starts at your knee. Like all things, my defense here is just I had no idea what I was doing. And you all know that's true. But you knew Wednesday you were crowd surfing. You didn't think once to watch some game tape?

He didn't check the tape. No tape checked. None? None. I just thought. You didn't ask anybody? No. You just said, I'm going to dive head first into these people. I honestly had no plan to dive head or back first.

Just in the moment, I just jumped. Did hand ever touch your penis or balls? Honestly, it was like such a rush that it was like, I kind of felt like I was like floating. Yeah, it's like wrestling in a single. Yeah, but I mean, it was just kind of like all like a blur. Like it was like i kind of felt like i was like floating yeah it's like wrestling and we're floating yes yeah but i mean it was just kind of like all like a blur like it was so crazy but it was awesome oh yeah you know and i didn't feel like i got fondled too bad so but it was i don't know it was it was very uh he asked me to actually do it two years ago

in new orleans you had two years to prep well no but like i said that's like the lsat well no no well but it was funny because i was like 30 or 40 pounds heavier two years ago and i was like i don't know i don't know if i trust this and then this time when he asked i was like hell yeah let's go you know yeah that was it was cool and i did the intro for him too for the band and turned it up with like 1200 people there i sent. I sent TJ the video. Oh, fuck it. Oh, good. Yeah. And you stole a man's vape. Yeah. You were clutching that thing. Well, he was like, okay, so in the video, he was like, well, usually,

because he usually crowd surfs to the bar and takes Jameson shots and gets sent back to stage. But he's like, well, since Mincy doesn't drink anymore, let's just put this nicotine vape out here. Oh, that was a plant? So he was like, yeah. Oh, that was the bait. Yeah, that was the bait. But it was Frasco this nicotine vape oh that was that was a plant so he was like said yeah that was the bait yeah that was the bait but it was it was frasco's nicotine vape oh okay okay so after our little speech on the act last week so you're back oh you're back we fell spiral how

did it feel that hit while you were floating while it was hundreds of strangers touching your cock and bee it was it was definitely uh an experience. You're saying you relapsed prior to that. Yeah, I relapsed. Relapsed Friday night at John Boy. Yeah? Oh, yeah. I threw it back down the chute this morning first thing. There's going to be a pile of vapes.

Yeah, it's not good. We had a rough weekend on it, but you know, due day today. But no. You in that chute, man. You falling down the laundry shoe would be the funniest sounds ever i don't think i could fit down our garbage shoot you get i mean you getting stuck would be just as funny you stuck midway even why don't belts work on you i don't understand it either i think i mean i think this belt's like too big because i've had it a while maybe i don't know in these pants i just got these pants like a couple months ago.

But, man, I'm just leaning up. You know, I don't know. Trying to do better. But, man, it was wild in there. I mean, he sold the Metro out. Are those Blue Deltas? Yes. Do they make overalls?

I think that might be your only choice. Suspenders. No, overalls, yeah. I need some suspenders. Yeah. Suspenders, overalls. I think you and overalls would be quite funny. That would be a hell of a look for you.

It would. Overalls every day. You'd find a way for them to sag. They would just be falling off your shoulders. But, yeah, no, it was awesome. It was a huge rush and fun-ass weekend. Love in Chicago. Yeah.

Great place to live. Do you have any fear when you flipped over when they thought do you think they were going to drop you i kind of just was like you let go and go with god you know i mean it was just it's like a release thing where i just was like i trust you know you got to have the trust thing and you know like i said it's really just the self-confidence stuff like i really that was the big theme of it in my head was i wasn't comfortable two years ago and i was now which to me shows self-growth. So I thought that was positive.

Did you just congratulate yourself? Yeah. Yeah. 40 pounds in two years. Right on. And you went with Dave? Yeah, Dave. It was just you and Dave?

No, we had a big crew. We had some Ole Miss people that were up in Chicago. We had Corey Rutledge and his girl came. Corey actually said on Twitter it was the best concert he's ever seen. Damn. That much fun. Do we have the other video that men sent you, TJ? How we doing tonight?

I believe it's about time to live it up. Five minutes? You son of a bitch. You said a five-minute video, Menci? Yes. I believe you're in the right place. That's for damn Yes. It's on. Yes. Well, I believe you're in the right place. That's for damn sure. I don't know anybody that's a better entertainer or a better guy than Andy Frasco.

Is that a penthouse? What? That's an organ. It's time to live it up with Andy Frasco and the U.S. That was really the intro. There it is. That was good. Damn. There it is. That was good. Damn good.

Big time. Great Saturday. Great Saturday. But then a great Friday, too, at John Boy. Yeah, it was a big weekend, man. I did the Blackhawks game Thursday night, too. Any, like, mincey heads out? Yeah, they had the John Boy loves.

Dante always takes care of me. Oh, yeah. The John Boy loves mincey heads. Yeah. And then I brought the Dis disco shirt back out for Friday. So it was a really good weekend, man. Like I said, the Chicago thing. How many wears do you get to a wash of the disco shirt?

So I try to wear the disco shirt three to four times a year. Yeah. Because I think anything more, it's like, you know, it loses the novelty. You know, but I wash it every time. Well, I had to wash it the last time because when I wore it in here on new year's it smelled like hell from that panic show went to the night before because i just wore it straight in here i don't know if you remember that you remember no i i very much remember uh that's a shirt that looks not only did you good you you wore it to a panic show in atlanta yeah you then that was one night yeah i just wore it the next day i flew out yeah you

wore it did you ever sleep i slept yeah you did sleep i did sleep did you sleep in it i i no i don't think so i just think i would put it on it just was like screw it i'm wearing it in the office because it'll be funny oh okay all right i thought you never went back to a hotel between no i slept no i don't do any of the late like i'm like one or two a.m is my cutoff you get Oh, okay. I thought you never went back to a hotel between. No, I slept. No, I don't do any of the late. Like, 1 or 2 a.m. is my cutoff. You get your sleep. I get my sleep now.

Old days, not as much. Did you get on a plane with that shirt? Yeah. It's a hell of an airport fit. Yeah, I was just like, I'm just wearing it to this dream because I thought it'd be funny. Respect. I didn't think about how much it smelled, though. Oh, it did.

Big Cat was sniffing it. We were complaining. It was rough. A lot of group chats, doing a lot of activity after that. At least you weren't trapped in a metal flying tube next to it. Oh, man. All right, Mitz. What else you got?

You got anything coming down the pipe? Hey, second week in a row. We got wake up Mitz this week. We're doing it a whole two weeks in a row. Two whole weeks in a row. Got Dante tomorrow. I think that'll be fun. be fun oh yeah he's not afraid to let the fur fly uh and then i've got i'm going to i'm actually excited i'm playing a lot of poker in a

while i'm going to play uh the moneymaker tour of chris moneymaker event west palm beach florida this weekend oh hell yeah little beach in late february it's poker well deserved that'll be nice yeah it'll be fun hopefully I can do a little better in poker this year. Has everybody on this panel been on Wake Up Mincy? No. We need to get, no, we're going to rectify that immediately. I think we rectified.

Open it, open it. If you're on the act, you have an open invite. Is it something that just occurred, like, just occurred to you maybe? No, I've known it. You were thinking about it? No, there's a thing where I've known. You were like, ah, let's save him or something? Well, the thing is, like, he knows me because of, like,

we did the Rediscover in New Orleans together and shit like that. It was like, let's put KB on ice. Let's wait. Let's wait. No, KB was coming. Yeah, but it was on your mind, like, the back of your mind or forefront, maybe even. Like, you were, like, thinking, like, yeah, let's get him on eventually,

but let's wait for the wait for the right time or something like that i don't i think you're over analyzing yeah no you're gonna come on this week i was just on for the first time for the third time you're gonna come on this week yeah i think we should wait for the right time i think that could be could be fireworks okay well come on yeah are you a thursday anybody what you got what i'll do thursday wake up mitzi yeah yeah let's just think about it a little bit let's plan ahead Come on. Yeah. Are you with Thursday? You going to come, babe? Anybody? What you got? What? Want to do Thursday? Wake up Mitzi? Yeah.

Let's just think about it a little bit. Let's plan ahead. We got to get into the week first and see how the week goes. Uh-huh. I see how it is. You called me out for saying I didn't invite you, and then I invite you, and you're like, oh, I'm good. I see.

I see how it is. It felt like a pity invite. It felt like there's some serious passive aggression. No, no, no. We're button heads a little bit i get it yeah i mean clearly didn't want to invite him i mean that's not that big of a deal but you did not want to i want to invite yeah that's completely wrong kb's a fringe guy in your orbit kb's not a fringe guy in my orbit i don't have any it i'm sorry you feel that way that was not anybody on

the act i didn't express any emotions actually i. I was just, like, wondering. Curious to get into your head, yeah. You did get in my head. Even Stephen Chay could be on My Gut, Mincey? Yeah. Yeah, we got to get everybody on, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's honestly, I appreciate it. I think we should wait.

I actually feel weird. I'll be honest. Being at 8 a.m., I feel almost like I appreciate it, but it comes because it's early. I got to be honest. I feel like Nick's probably the best guest for that show. No, Nick's fire. Yeah, so I would probably –

I'd do it this week. Yeah. Come on. All right. Let's do it. I think Dante ought to be fun tomorrow. Definitely. For sure, especially after he –

He had some real critical words about my crowd surfing. Oh, yeah. Well, he went dick down. It was a perv move. You got fondled. You got willingly fondled. You did the anti-grope. You broke them.

Yeah, you broke them with your dick. Which is crazy. That wasn't exactly how I planned it. I would have speed bagged that thing. Imagine the sound Mincy would make. We should do that On Wake Up Mincy Get you on a massage table I'll lay underneath

You ever see what You know what milking is? Oh yeah Oh yeah We should milk him What's milking? It's where you go Face down in a massage chair

With a hole Just for your Your dick and balls And then we just We just milk ya This is taking a turn Pretty simp chair with a hole just for your dick and balls, and then we just milk you. This is taking a turn. This is taking quite a turn.

You know, we're spitballing here. Maybe we do that on KB's episode. Yeah. We might need more production value for that, so it could be. What's the other schedule? So you're doing it this week, and then what? Not next week, but the week after we're back. Okay, nice. So mean moody can be he can basically be here like two weeks of time right now very nice yeah and there's a lot i can't fault anybody else for all the trouble i've caused you know i can't really put anything on any other production wanting to stay away from it because i've certainly earned

that you know so it's um there's no i have an observation go ahead so it's been awful quiet this year on the hogs for the cause front we're getting oh april 5th in the season right oh yeah it's more than creeping up yeah april 5th and 6th it's coming i mean i yeah i'm gonna do you know last few weeks fundraising like always do all right all right you know i think uh i don't have to put – anyway, I'm going to do it. Yeah, we'll do it the last couple weeks. I just – Dave last year has messed with me on those work reports so much about it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and luckily – Well, you don't have to do that anymore. Not when I'm in the office, no. You know, I think that's the point. As long as I'm around – that's part of being around the office day to day is, yeah, you don't have to do that like you did when I was remote. Yeah remote yeah um but yeah everything's good man i appreciate y'all having me on and uh i can't wait to get kb yeah we'll make it happen damn right oh yeah what would you talk about with kyle yeah what are we like what are we i was gonna i kind of like what a new nick i do the

same thing i mean y'all's improv is so good. I kind of just like let it fly. Yeah. Wherever y'all want to take it, just roll with it. But we can also like write some shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. I like all that. I need all the help I can get.

Hell yeah. Awesome. So Thursday. It's going to be a good one. Thursday. Thursday? This Thursday? Nah.

Nah. We got to wait till the spring when it's a little bit nicer out. It's going to be 55 degrees Thursday. It's going to be 60 Wednesday. I think we should do Nah, we got to wait till the spring when it's a little bit nicer out. It's going to be 55 degrees Thursday. It's going to be 60 Wednesday. I think we should do a, maybe this is just me, I think we should do like a late April, early May episode. So you're already like starting the tailgate a couple months ahead?

Yeah, it seems like that's what he's doing. Okay, so you want whatever you want, KBA. Thank you. Just happy to have you. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it big. Hell yeah. I happy to have you. We'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it big. Hell yeah. I'm all about it.

We'll do it. All right, man. I'm going to get moot, too. Thank you. All right, thank y'all. I'll try it next time I crowd surf. I won't go balls down. Ass first.

Ass first it is. And wear overalls next concert. You should just wear the mask. Just go get some overalls yeah there goes that ass there's a belt on it and it's still

it doesn't work the belt doesn't work it's plasma it doesn't make sense like I have no ass in my butt's big nah nah nah do you have ass cheeks

or do you just have a hole I have them but not like I feel like I do a lot of squats but there's just no I don't know it's just making

the hole bigger. That's why girls are squatting so much. They just want a bigger asshole. Look how big our asshole is. Oh, my God. You can fit like four in there. Holy shit. Kyle, I can't help but notice the tension of you yeah that got real real i feel like maybe rightfully so you and i are associated with one

another a lot yeah absolutely we're often joined with an ampersand when they say one of our names and uh zero invites for you man i know and you've had to see it happen it's kind of like a the culmination of like something up over many, many months. Seeing you do three big Paramount episodes, inaugural even. And then, yeah, I guess I kind of just lost control of my emotions. I don't know what happened there. It's unbecoming of me. Well, there's an important distinction to be made.

You've never been invited on the show either. I've been told. You've only been told to be there. True. Demand told. You've only been told to be there. True. Demanded. You've never been asked to be on that show one time. I've been invited on. You have? What? Weight loss episode or something? Yeah, but I just was like Also, I have to

do a show immediately after, so I couldn't do it. Yeah. You hit him with the Yeah, I was like Congrats on the 100, TJ. Under two is crazy. 199. Thanks, guys.

And I was like, that's crazy going from a 300 to that, but then you posted the progress pic, and I was like, I don't even remember that. I don't remember that at all. I was a big fat fatty. I was a BFF. Sheesh. Yeah. I don't remember that either.

That was August 25th yeah that was the last meal i had in new jersey before i moved what dude i don't remember yeah i can't that's crazy i guess like we see you so often that it's a slow burn but i mean tj you are a fat fat fat fat and that the best thing is like you're you're not just kind of fat now. You're not fat at all. Right. Yeah. Yeah, my BMI dropped out of obese into just regular overweight.

Goddamn. Yeah. Amazing. Do you have a goal weight or are you just going to keep going until you're nothing? Until he disappears. I think I'm going to gain it all back. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, man.

He's going to do the six-month yo-yo where he goes down 100, up 100. Yeah, he fluctuates between 100 pounds. Good for you, man. Thanks. That first picture's jarring. Cookie jarring. I also didn't notice until like

a week ago, the kid behind me over my shoulder I went to high school with him. Really? Yeah. Damn. Yeah, he's about to bully you. Yeah, he did bully me in high school. There it is.

Oh, you could see him thinking fat fuck. Right, yeah. Big fat fatty. Fucking fat. What else we got, Brando? All right. How was everybody's weekend? Did you do anything?

Nope. No. I went to the hockey game. I got fucking wasted with mo Did you do anything? Nope. No. I went to the hockey game. I got fucking wasted with mook. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. I got hammered.

Friday or Saturday? Both. Really? Went to Julio's show Friday. Yeah. Great show. Great show. His special will be coming out after party, afterwards.

Feels so good to be invited to an after party. Coolest thing ever happened to me. You know, Julio's associated with Pete Davidson, right? They're pretty good friends. Didn't know that but a dude came up to me at the show and he thought something like then through the transitive property that i was associated with pete davidson so this dude came up he's like yo nick is pete gonna be here and that was the coolest i've ever felt that is didn't have to say and then i was like how can I be cool about this? And so I just looked at him and I was like, you'll have to wait and see. But I didn't

fucking know. And he wasn't. You sure he wasn't asking about all business? I sure hope. No. Oh, don't do that. No. No, no, no, no. Referring to him as Pete is like a very it like normalizes him, which is crazy. Yeah. yeah is Pete gonna be here

like I knew I assume Julio was funny as fuck funny as fuck I went to the after party I had people coming in town yeah you had to entertain them somehow so you couldn't go to the comedy show

yeah it's a big ask it is previous plans it is yeah but i went to his after party and got free drinks that was nice that was nice to show your support uh and y'all did it again saturday night yeah man i've been acting like i'm not 31 we've been drinking like idiots yeah Yeah. We have this thing going called the Pickle Gang. Yeah. Pickle Boys.

We just do a bunch of pickleback shots. Best drink in the world. And we just, we're doing like five to ten every time we're out. Yeah. And that just tanks your... You'll have a whole crew?

Yeah, we have Pickle Boys. Yeah. Okay. Did your crew, you guys had competing crews last time we talked, right? Seth? Yeah.

Happy birthday. Happy belated birthday. It's now together? No. No, Nicky Winsola. Huh. Okay. All right.

I'm keeping my crews separate. Kyle, you got a crew in Chicago yet? No. I don't. I've actually lost crews from other cities. I'm losing crews. I am. I guess crew dissing is still still alive yeah people say they do it all the time now let me let me square this away a crew diss is

is only a solo activity you can't crew diss with a partner or a group of people you have to be alone yeah you have to be addressing a crew of four plus okay i will accept three but that's not a you know a by the book crudas and all you have to do there's only one way to crudas is say that's a weak ass report that's a weak ass crew nothing more nothing less one line that's a crudas people are trying to claim crudas is that's a crud diss. Okay. Is there a point involved at all or just like that's a weak-ass crew? You address them. You've got to make it known. They have to see that you're addressing them,

and you just say that's a weak-ass crew and go by. Okay. And you can't do it if there's three of you can't do it together. It is an individual solo. It's strictly a solo. Let's say I'm with you guys, my crew. You can't do it together. It is an individual solo. It's strictly a solo. Let's say I'm with you guys, my crew. You can practice. You can do like an exhibition with a partner to get yourself ready.

Can I step away if I see a crew coming? I'm like, hey, get behind me. Yeah, I'll be right back. Yeah. Can I scurry off in crew dis and come back? You could scurry off. I see where the lines would get blurred. Then you're an individual, though.

If you scurry off, you're individualized, right? Yeah, if you scurry off yeah so you're you're doing this like on an island i'm not doing it's a 1v4 i just invented it people with more confidence and less cowardice are doing it got it yeah it's you think it's getting done yeah people are keeping me updated yeah somebody dissed me and seth and the other boys it's on site i swear to god i actually don't know you're going 10 toes for seth seth oh you don't want to fuck with seth mook you were on one on a friday i was just lowing i was hammered and you took advantage of me yeah i fed you three mental shots yes Yes, you did. What? Oh, yeah. Yes, you did. You got me cast up. And then you pulled me aside asking if it was true, and I had to really destroy you. Really let you down.

No, you didn't. No bedside manner from Nick. Yeah, you guys fucked me up good. That was me. You've got me high. I got you through the night, yeah. And then Nick was like, dude, you believe that? And that one, that tore me down.

Kyle, Mook was the top comment on Corinna Conf's post. And Kyle was like, you know you have a shot. I didn't say that. All I said was, she probably knows who your name is. You're the top comment. She's probably the type to look through her comments. And you said she may have clicked on his profile. Yeah, she probably saw you were the top comment,

clicked on your profile profile and knows the name he goes Connor Mook Mook's in her head and you were like riding high I was like oh yeah you're right and that was a bigger boost than any amount of alcohol

that fueled your incredible Friday night but Nick quickly ruined the parade. Well, Mook was like, dude, yeah, I'm in her head. And I said, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I was lying. You probably aren't at all.

Mook pulled me aside and it's like a one-on-one, man-to-man. He was like, yo, you know, I'm in her head now. Yeah, no, not at all. Probably clicked on your – she might have clicked on your profile. No, don't do this again. But immediately it didn't stick in her head. You got me so fired up and then Nick just shot me in the back of the head. No, I was being nice.

And guess what, Mook? This Friday night he might do it to the same guy. He's probably done it to me before and I've never realized. That was a gift to you. That was like when Kenny invited Stevie to Tampa. Yes. Yes, it was. That was a favor. Yeah. I don't know, for a second there i was like maybe

maybe she did and then just immediately got brought back down to earth but it was nice for five minutes saying for five minutes i was like oh in that popularizing telling lies that boost your friends up yep and they don't have to drink as much you don't have to mooch off you as much yeah you should just go out to the boys and lie to one another and go home happy instead of crew dissing you can crew praise I don't want to praise a stranger

actually that would be funny just going up to a guy and being like hey you look fantastic tonight in the most non-gay way possible yeah is there an opposite of crew dissing that could be crew crew building crew that's not my territory that's right yeah you're right you're only this sir i like solo dissing so like i'm with a crew and one person walks by

and just call that person lonely um so yeah me and the boys well my whole family went to the blackhawks game on the other kids gotta gotta be getting jealous no they they they kind of like their anonymity like walking through the united center like tommy got called out multiple times and we sat we had six seats my wife and my daughter sat behind us. And then me and the boys had four seats. And I sat, me and Tommy sat on opposite sides of the four seats. And on the other end, where Tommy was, was another grown man.

And they just had a conversation. Eventually I looked down there and Tommy said something like, and that's why people don't really understand what YouTubers go through. And I'm thinking, he's talking this guy's ear off. Can you bring him in this week? I want him on anus. He almost came in today. That guy right there is just part of Tommy's crew.

That's Tommy's buddy? That is Tommy's crew. He didn't come to know Tommy or knew Tommy was going in. This is my son's adult friend. He came to know Tommy. He had no idea who we were before. Really? They just started talking.

Keep in mind, this picture is taken probably 10 minutes ago in the pregame. Wow. Did they chat the entire game? They chatted the entire game, yeah. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that I have two other boys that both have red

faces. Yes, yes. Look at them. They're very embarrassed to be yours that you're their dad um so how was the game Tommy a hockey fan so do any of the kids want to play hockey my kids didn't care about hockey didn't really want to go but they did want to get out and do something on Saturday my daughter who I've taken previously wanted to go and loves it uh by the third period they're just participating in chants you know let's go hawks they're yelling the last goal happened with two minutes left the blackhawks won and

we just erupted it's it's such a fantastic family activity it's great for us we had a good time and you're getting into it i'm getting so into it you think you'll like are on pace to talk about hockey professional i don't know that i could ever do that because they're still like hearing your voice say like those russian names would make me sick i gotta talk to like the hockey guys they're still i watch the game and like i still don't know what a half wall is i don't know what certain things are like they're i don't know what certain phrases are so i can't really do that but i do think i'm a hockey fan you got to start picking up the uh chirps are you a blackhawks fan i think i'm a blackhawks fan yeah i think i am i it's just so i've been to three arenas now i went to two rangers

games in msg went to a knights game in vegas and i've been to three blackhawks games and the chicago arena the atmosphere is second to none it's perfect i think your best bet is to not immerse yourself in the culture or try to learn the culture. Stay on the surface. Be a casual fan, man. Treat it like any other academic topic and just learn the players, learn the stats. Well, it's also a perfect entry point because they just drafted Bedard last year, and he's going to be so good. He already is good. And me and my kids can get on the entry. They're as bad as they're ever going to be in our life right now.

They're going to get better and better and better. I think you don't allow yourself to be a casual fan of anything i think being a casual fan is a luxury i'm not gonna no i don't have the casual fan gene i think it's the best type of fan i want to go to every game i want i want to go to every single game but like then are you going to start buying memorabilia you're going to be memorizing players from the 90s like let yourself just relax and breathe well i no i don't want to do that i want to i want to full-on be a fan of something i want to when i get home at night i want to watch i want to watch hockey i when i got home the other day i i bought nhl 24 and spent the next six hours playing it really yeah i've been playing nhl 24 on ps5 i'm terrible at

it i have to play on rookie mode. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm playing it. Did you make your own character or you just play games? I just like to play. To learn it, I just play a bunch of offline games. I'll be a different team every time. And then eventually I'll start a franchise. But we'll have to get there.

That one guy's doing nothing, man. That one guy's doing not a goddamn thing. That man that's very obviously incognito. Yeah. He is not helping. That's a heavy couch. He ain't doing shit. Look at him.

Just put the left hand, man. I'm that guy. You just tap the hand underneath the couch. Yeah, make it look like you're doing something. But anyway, that was my weekend. We went to hockey, and that was about it. I'm loving your mantequing. Yeah, make it look like you're doing something. But anyway, that was my weekend. We went to hockey, and that was about it. I'm loving your mantequing. Oh, yeah.

I enjoy it. You know what? I got Big T into it. Big T and me are going mantequing next Saturday. No kidding. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's coming. So you got to find a new spot, though.

Maybe, but he's going to come to my spot. He's going to come to Volo, and we're going to go to the Volo Antique Mall, and I'm going to show him the good sports spots up there. And then we're going to branch out and go from there i'm i'm excited the longest i've been is madison which is an hour and a half from my house and that was the best trip of so i'm going to do that about once a month i think there's a sports card show near you next weekend on sunday really yeah i'm trying to roll see i don't i don't like sports cards i don't i don't get into them,

but they're adjacent to what I do like. Yeah. So you kind of have to be in that realm. And you can find other shit that you would like at that show. Correct, yeah. But do you like the novelty sports cards, like the jersey cards, piece of a bat? No. No.

I just like old, cheap stuff you can find. I put myself on a $50 limit every weekend, and I just go find it is your like basement starting to smell like mothballs not like it's not smelling like it but my pool table's gone i don't have a pool table anymore it's why it's a table it's covered it's covered in stuff and um i just i i want every square inch of my basement which is a lot of square footage i want every square inch to be covered in something. Do you believe in spirits? That any

of those items could bring in spirits into your home? You think I'm bringing in ghosts to my house? You don't buy used mirrors. Spirits can be trapped in glass. I don't think that's true. Everybody knows. Can they be trapped in a Ryan Sandberg poster? Potentially. No, no. It has to be glass. Mirrors are portals. I have bought

multiple framed pictures already. Mirrors are portals. I have bought multiple framed pictures already. Mirrors are portals. Just mirrors. Yeah. My aunt with six cats believes that she brings in spirits into her house after she antique shops. So just to have her know she's lonely, she probably just wants to. Yeah, she wants that. Yeah, that's best case scenario.

She's got like eight dudes in her house and six cats. I did buy my wife a mirror at an antique shop. So I possibly brought somebody into my house? Yeah, but then it can also take your wife's spirit and they can swap and they could use her body

as a vessel. I'm down for that. That's fine. She has been cooking better. Yeah. That poppy seed chicken was delightful. She made poppy seed chicken?

Yeah, she makes that every Thursday. People are trying to laud celery as... Your wife loves my poppy seed. God damn it. That's what she calls me. Found a bracelet by the way.

No I didn't. What did you say? I think people are trying to distinguish celery as like a good food. What? Yeah. We're trying to say it's great. Celery's an edible utensil.

Yeah. Yep, barely. It is a superfood though, isn't it? Doesn't it qualify? Isn't one of those? You're saying celery is good. It's a caloric negative to eat, right? It doesn't taste good.

No. You are biologically opposed to it. It tastes like wet strings. It tastes like plant. It tastes like dirty rainwater. Yeah. And it has an off-putting stringy crunch to it,

which I get why you'd like a crunch, but not in this scenario. Not that crunchy either. It's a little bit bitter. People were like, oh, I had to block someone who tweeted like, oh, dude, the ants on a log. Falk ants on a log.

Peanut butter, ranch. Then they said the possibilities are endless. The possibilities are as finite as a coin toss. Yes, you can dip it in ranch or put smothered peanut butter on it, but that's you enjoying the taste of one of the most calorically dense substances, peanut butter and or ranch. That's not you enjoying celery. So let's not start saying celery is good or celery is even a great snack because celery

isn't. Eat celery as it is. And how many calories are you? I think it's like negative two. And there is a correlation between calories and taste. Yes. So humans are biologically opposed to ever even seeking out celery because you cannot survive on celery. Isn't there one of those plants that doesn't grow in the wild? Did you say broccoli was something like celery or broccoli?

We didn't make up, but we kind of made up. Celery seems like it does grow in the wild. Cauliflower. Cauliflower. Cauliflower's derived from broccoli. One of them is made based off the other one. But at least cauliflower has other uses. Make pizza crust. Yeah, but you're really stretching to do that too.

But what's celery doing? You can't do anything else to celery. Cauliflower and broccoli can both soak in and hold so much. Is it good in soup, or is it just there? It's just there. It's just there. And if it's a caloric negative, you don't need it to feel full. No, it doesn't satiate at all.

The French did it? The celery is one-third of the French Holy Trinity of aromatics. Of what? Mirepoix. The mirepoix, the Holy Trinity, The carrots, the onions, and the celery. It's like the basis for every French dish. Yeah, every Cajun dish starts with that. Yeah, mirepoix.

You never seen that? No. It does smell wonderful. But why celery? Because it has that smell that goes with the other two. Show me a good mirepoix. When they're cooking down, they do look and smell wonderful. I don't know if you'll be able to smell the TV.

I wish you could. That should be an invention that's happened already. It seems like it should have happened already. This doesn't look good when they're just cut up like that. You've got to cook it down. See you, Moog. That's good, kid. That doesn't look great.

Yeah, it smells good, though. Do you like it in chicken salad when it's all cut up? Kung Pao chicken has it, right? And I think it's at least a nice crunch there. Don't you put it in tuna salad? Chicken salad, it's a nice crunch. That's when I don't like the crunch. It has to be very tiny.

I don't like when it's... Why don't we try chips as a crunch? Potato chips. You can't get chips wet. They get soggy. You can get Fritos wet, right? Fritos will hold it pretty good. No, no, no, no good no no no no no no

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Yeah. We were right there, right behind the benches. Everything was in front of us. Perfect. Any fights? Center ice. No fights. No fights.

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vegas i noticed i words were blurry and uh my phone get a headache my phone was blurry and and and everything and i was like i told my wife i said i just something's not right i'm too tired she said she takes out her reading glasses she says here i put them on and it's perfect readers you're gonna be wearing readers? So now I've got to do readers. I haven't been able to. My memory's going. I haven't been able to remember names or friends.

It's just I've got old in like two weeks. You'd look cute as hell in some readers. I've got to get readers. Do you wear them at the end of your nose? I've got to buy readers. So soon, to read these ads, I'm going to need readers. I just want to see you like. Peer out of them? With it dripping, yeah. I'm going to need readers. I just want to see you, like, peer out of them.

With it dripping, yeah. I'm going to try to get contacts. Whoa. Tommy's got contacts. Yeah? Yeah. I'm changing my look. Why?

I think it's time. This is your look. I know. I'm changing. You should, yeah, try no hat. I'm tired of the doppelganger. No glasses. No facial hair. Can we just say no hat not right and

i'm not ready you're not ready no no beard like short shave everything buzz cut no hat no glasses come in new person i want i know it'll be a thrill i don't think we recognize yeah no chance you would recognize me i think if i did no glasses you wouldn't recognize me i think it would be a very it would feel great for a while i know be like moving to vietnam it would be a very, it would feel great for a while. I know. Be like moving to Vietnam. It would be a lot like that, yeah. It's the same thing. Yeah, I think I'm going to do it. You think that would feel good at first?

Moving to Vietnam? You know how moving to a new apartment feels great? Yeah. Yeah. Getting a new car as well. A new place. Yeah. If you're in a position where you would like a reset.

Yeah, the new apartment thing feels good, and then you realize you don't have natural sunlight, and it's killing you on the inside. But I get what you're saying, the excitement. I broke the device that can open my windows. You have a device? It's like a shepherd's hook, and I have to put it on the windows and crank it.

I feel like you've broken most things in your house already. Didn't you almost kill everybody with gas? Yep. Cool, cool cool cool uh tj no we're not doing it no we're not doing what that ad that's fine um we're not when did that happen that moved so it's not today mm-hmm tj why don't we have a prep sheet? Che texted me and Connor this morning and said that he was always going to be traveling today, but he left his computer bag at where he's traveling from, so he couldn't do a prep sheet for us. Che's the new excuse god. He is an excuse god.

He's missed nine bracket episodes in a row. That's nine weeks. That's a grading period. He's also missed more than half of the new show that he came up with. Oh, are you doing it today? We're not doing it today. I'm sorry what I said about it, by the way.

I'm counting this as a, I thought it was funny. We're counting it as a miss because if he were here, we would do the show. So we're not going to do it because he's not here, but he's three for six now,

which is not great. I guess it's good if you're Tony Gwynn or if you're a baseball player. It's terrific, but not if you're a podcaster. And it's a 15-minute show. It's a 15-minute show. Yep. It's great if you're a 3-6 Mafia.

Get him off. Brandon, kick him off. Kick him off. I ain't going nowhere one more one more yeah give him all right one more he deserves he deserves i had i had to get that out okay i had to i know it was bad have y'all processed that that uh on friday gia destroyed the gauntlet and liam blutman also destroyed the gauntlet in his own way. Yeah, I was actually pretty upset. Yeah, you could tell I was pretending hard to congratulate her. Yeah.

I wasn't happy about that. I mean, she just... She smoked it. Like it wasn't anything to it. Yeah. I feel like she'd been training. You got knocked off the podium. Not really, because you didn't make a sucker.

Listen, man. Listen, you flip-flop on this. You didn't make a goal on your goals. You flip-flop on this. I did. You didn't. I did. Malasek said I did but malicek it's not really the arbiter here um you are all right well i had better view than malicek it was to mouth it was going towards malicek it went behind him though yes it did he had no idea behind him is a huge wall no no uh it's all right what What fun. We'll beat it.

What sport has the least referee or umpire interference? The least referee or umpire interference? Golf? Yeah. Do you count that? And maybe tennis now because tennis can make a call and immediately they have that huge replay that goes straight to it i i came up with a thing the other day when i was watching the hockey i don't know if you guys

know but i'm kind of watching hockey guy so right before the hockey game starts and the teams are about to come out the referees the officials hit the ice screaming i mean they're skating they'll do figure eights they just they they they skate out there and they skate around and they really get going i mean they come out going fast and they're the only officials in sports i know that do that and i think would it be funny to see umpires run the bases when they come out definitely to see funny yeah nfl officials run 40 yard dashes but hockey guys they they like shoot out the gate and and do all these crazy maneuvers. Are hockey refs hated amongst NHL fans? I don't know, but I think they're fucking fascinating to watch.

They fly out there. They like chirp back and forth with the players. They chirp back and forth. Hockey people are a different breed. I think it's the most passionate fan base, hockey, to their sport. Hockey refs are elusive as fuck they're fast as fuck they're they're they're fascinating to me just the way they do their job and stuff like that yeah and hockey hockey people are their own and not even nhl like lower division ahl echl for us

like it was those fans those season ticket holders are they go hard but i think even like 10 or 12 year old hockey players who really are into hockey and know that's what they're going to do and want to do they act like nhl players yeah oh yeah right they have their own vernacular and all that stuff they speak a different language they all get a canadian accent automatically yeah out the gate or they talk like rudy and then everything in a question isn't it always a bud something like that yeah they're yeah um rudy's got to come to my house and set up my my twitch make sure you're saying that yeah i keep saying that i went i had he made me go buy a new monitor i have to have two monitors for my setup

so you have to tell me on twitch you have to what's tommy going to be streaming uh tommy's probably going to be streaming this summer uh ncaa football game and he's Tommy going to be streaming? Tommy's probably going to be streaming this summer NCAA football game, and he's probably going to be streaming some old-school Nintendo because at first Tommy's going to be me, and I'm going to be doing it first. And then I will eventually get the setup going and hand it to him. TJ, did you ever miss school on a video game launch day? Grand Theft Auto V, me and the fellas left at lunch.

Left at lunch to go pick up the game and then went home and then I played it for 12 hours straight and beat it overnight. I don't know if I missed a full day though. I did midnight releases for a couple of CODs that were fun. I think I did Fable 3 until I puked. I did MW2.

Yeah, I did MW3 and Black O ops 1 midnight release i mean i missed i missed ncaa football releases which was in the summer but i would always uh i'd be out in that parking lot from like 6 p.m to midnight that was fun i i was not even a huge huge video game guy but i would go with my buddies just to wait yeah yeah we would uh there was a movie theater across the street from the game stop and we would go i went and saw war of the worlds and hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy on release night oh yeah and that might have been back-to-back years and it might have been the same year i can't remember but i definitely saw those two movies on release night which did you like more i didn't like either one of them i thought the tom cruise war of the worlds was terrible and hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy just made me wish i smoked

marijuana okay and at the time i didn't or really anytime i haven't but uh it made me think if i were high and i don't really even know what high is to to a point but if i were high i would enjoy this a lot more i watched arrival last night last night. How was that? Sick. Which one is that? Amy Adams. Oh, it's a great movie. Amy Adams is in all of them though, right? Is she? Isn't she? I feel like she's in most movies. Oh, man.

Alright, let me think of a movie. Nightcrawler. Fuck, yeah, shit. I watched Woman in the Window on Netflix. Amy Adams? Adams, psycho thriller with Amy Adams Sucked, terrible Hated it I thought New Top Gun sucked

Didn't see it It was pretty to look at I think it might Suck but I think we were all mesmerized It was cool to look at That movie could have been a gif. It's the quick picks of movies. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like that they couldn't call...

You can't have an enemy anymore? You can't give it a country? It's just the enemy. God forbid. The enemy. They did that the whole... And also, this enemy had... The land this enemy had...

It was Canada! This enemy had beachfront. It was right off the Gulf, but it also had just the Alps. It had mountain ranges, and it had... This enemy was... So, was it posed as a fictional country? Yeah, but they never tell us. They just keep...

They call it the enemy. They never say... I would just hate that for... But Yeah, but they never tell us. They just keep, they call it the enemy. They never say. Oh, I would just hate that for plot following. But they have more advanced tech than us. Yeah, they're better off than us. They got more money. Their planes are better than us. Their weapon systems are better than us.

And we just rely on our good old fashioned guile and our pilots. Also. That's a shitty plot. I'm able to throw away believability and all that or whatever. It's a movie. The guy's plane blew up at Mach 10. Yeah. And then he just walked into a shitty plot. I'm able to throw away believability and all that. Whatever. It's a movie. The guy's plane blew up at Mach 10. Yeah. And then he just walked into a diner.

And got a glass of water. Yeah. What's an underrated war film for you? This will probably be a tweet at 2.30 in the morning tonight. This will definitely. Not only that, but my top five most underrated war films will drop tonight um that's great i don't know because all the ones i like are probably very highly rated this is one i used to a full metal jacket or all i don't know if it holds i used to like

behind enemy lines with owen wilson yeah okay that's that does that hold up that's i don't know i think it does i think i thought it was cool They were in Bosnia, and there was mines, and it looked real. There's that one guy that steps on the mine. Yeah, I love that scene. Yeah, and he just can't move, and the guy just lets him die. Saving Private Ryan's probably the best, just because of that D-Day scene. Yeah. That's just...

The romantic movie Pearl Harbor would have been sick without the romance. So sick. Yeah, huh? It would have been awesome. Cuba Gooding at the fucking gun. Yeah, they just focused on that they made pearl harbor a rom they made it so it was post-titanic yeah when they made the boat sinking in a romantic and it won every fucking best picture and everything everyone was trying to and now everything tragedy with boats tragedy with boats plus romance but this one was weird because this was a love triangle like she wanted to fuck both of them yeah she did fuck both of them she did kate beckinsale right i love yeah or was it it might

have been amy adams i think it was kate beckinsale i loved her in the warrior's way i think a movie only is there a movie out there that you're like i'm the only person that's seen this uh senior skip day the um pistol birth of a legend rudy was talking about this movie called swim fan like it was a common no no no that's uh that's um it's a stalker movie rudy loves the movie swim fan he's like yeah everybody's julius julius i don't fucking know nobody's seen swim fan seen it i've heard of swim fan i think it's julia styles i haven't seen it mine's the warrior's way i don't really watch many what's the warrior's way this This swordsman in Japan is trying to, he takes this baby to the Wild West, and now he's a samurai living in the Wild West with Kate Beckinsale.

Oh, I've seen that. No, we started it together, because I was trying to show you. Yeah. My, I think I'm the only one that's seen it, is Kid Cannabis. No idea what that is. Kid Cannabis. I could put together what it is. Yeah, it's a fat kid that becomes a drug kingpin.

Brandon, maybe tweet out 10 movies you think only you've seen. All right. I got nothing right now, I have to think. I loved the movie The Core. I saw it in theaters twice. I got a big group of movies that everybody's seen I've never seen. That's way less fun. It is.

Are you going to see Madam Web?b probably not i've heard it i saw jeff's reaction i'll just ask i've seen some reactions does she get topless no then no it's got to be one of the most dog shit movies ever right that's what they're saying is it a spider-man movie what who's madame webb because there's like four people are there four madame Webs? It's in the universe, yeah. I think my movie is, I'm the only one that's seen Battle Royale. Nick might have seen this, though. I don't know what Battle Royale is. It's the movie that inspired the writing of Hunger Games.

Oh, cool. It's about a Japanese high school that they get picked for population control and they basically they go play like hunger games i'm watching it tonight oh that sounds awesome yeah they have like explosive necklaces on if they try and leave their heads explode i'm watching it's very violent og squid games type thing it's like imagine if hunger games was made in japan yeah okay it's great. It's in Japanese, though. I got handed a paper.

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Where to next, boys? What do you mean like conversationally yeah conversationally where what have we on what have we not covered yet i found a new uh satisfaction account that you guys may or may not have seen you ever see a worm lapse no you tried to mention this the other day and we could something cut you off. So what is it? TJ, if you could pull up Worm Lapse on either Instagram or TikTok. I did it from age two to three. Yeah, yeah, you did. Worm Lapse? Yeah, I'd race them. We'd just go around the bar.

That's good stuff right there. Thanks. It's just an account where mealworms eat something. Oh, I don't know if I like this. They're making me do the hot chip challenge? Yeah, so fucked up dude oh fuck why is every comment every comment is like give them fentanyl are they gonna yeah what do they do with fentanyl i don't know wait did some of them die no clue uh but i i've seen videos like this where it's like they put like a big piece of steak out and they just wait for like bugs to show up.

I don't know why, but I do get why people like this. Oh, so that's the. I don't know if I. No, I don't get why they like it. They can't taste the heat, right? Oh. You're going to do a whole melon? Oh, yeah.

They get after it. Oh, I don't think I like this. I've also seen videos where people will be like giving ants like a zin until they develop nicotine addiction and see me as their god. I hate this. I hate it. Get it off the screen. Make me real sick. Satisfying isn't the word. Fuck this.

It's curious. Yeah. I don't like. It's interesting. I don't watch it and I'm like I love this. I watch it and I'm like what's. How fast are they going to get through this? I don't mind animals doing things. I don't want to see mealworms do things. That's fair. Bachelor tonight.

Yeah. Let's wrap this shit up. Where are we at? I think you'll make it home in time. You never know. I think you'll get it. What was I about to say? I was about to bring something up too.

Then you brought up the worm thing. NBA All-Star Weekend? And it sucked? No, it did suck, but that wasn't it. Oh, did y'all see our list on Mostly Sports? We tiered the presidents by fuckability. Oh, yeah. I was just wondering if you had any thoughts about it.

Yeah, pull that up. Any beef with it? Because we did struggle a little bit. There's our presidents by fuckability. Now, I did... Is that Franklin Pierce at the top? I tried to put Roosevelt in the F tier because, you know, you don't want to fuck a man in a wheelchair. But I accidentally put Truman there, I think, because Roosevelt's up there.

Who's that? That's Obama, Reagan, Kennedy, and Franklin Pierce. Okay. Bush. Abraham Lincoln's too high. Ugly as fuck. Way too high. Ugly as fuck. Who made that call? You know what? We just went. Bill Clinton should be S. Yep.

Would you fuck him though? I mean, he probably has a disease. I mean, you'd lay it down. George Washington is literally called the father of our country. Oh, he's in the D tier. Okay. Yeah. Lynd. Yeah. Lyndon B. Johnson had a huge dick. Where's Biden at?

Oh, yeah. We only counted legitimate presidents. Only counted the actually elected presidents. So, sorry. Biden can't find his way off the stage. You think he'd find the G spot? Zaha? Zaha, you like that one? one i'm gonna sit this one out okay

that's where you're sitting it out when i looked over there you were doing you were doing this shit right here what the fuck are you talking about can we run the tape back of za just doing this shit i think joe biden has fucked under one time in the white house so 0.5 you're going under. There was an attempt. Do you think we're going on probably eight years of no fucking in the White House? Because I don't think Trump fucked in the White House. I think Trump nor Biden have fucked in the White House. Trump fucked in the White House. I think Trump has gotten dome in the White House and probably gotten fucked. I think Trump fucked in the White House.

That's a horny fucker. Is it? Yeah. Over under one times Biden has fucked in the White House. Oh. Yeah. I'm going under. Yeah, I think you're under. I think we're naive. I think he probably

fucks. No, dude. You think Biden fucks? If not for pleasure, for some sense of power to get from it what percentage of presidents have fucked in the white house because i don't think it's 100 it's not 100 no no you think it's a lot of these guys who was the gay president a lot of these guys were old as fuck so i guess i'm not counting gay sex it be like 75%. Because a lot of these guys were just old as shit. And I don't think pussy existed until like 1950. Well, no.

When did Viagra become a thing? Early 90s. Yeah. How old were they, though? Was anyone as old as Biden and Trump? No. No, but 45 in 1812 was 75, right? I don't know. I don't either. I think it was just a lot

easier to die young, but people still lived long. JFK was fucking non-stop in the White House. JFK, Bill. Clinton was getting his. Clinton was. Yes. Clinton was every day. Bush. I'd say H.W. too. I think Obama was

getting fucked. Yeah. He was getting fucking destroyed. Destroyed by Michael. Yeah, I bet the second Bush was getting it in. What are the stats? Were people more sexually active in the 1800s or less? Probably the same. I don't know.

I think every TikTok I see now is like, Gen Z isn't fucking. Right. This is the first generation that just actively doesn't sex yeah i mean without smartphones like i could see people fucking a lot more yeah yeah also antidepressants yeah destroys the dick really did that was a there was a one it was a two-week stretch where i i thought hey i'm gonna make my mind better and i'm gonna i'm gonna get rid of my stress and my dick just left my i think all anti-the suitcase and just i think it made you angrier i think all antidepressants

do is make your dick not work and i think you're happier without sex that's i i missed my dick i had to call my dick back my dick is back oh my dick is so you chose dick over happiness i did i did i yeah dick is happiness buddy it's amazing how it just didn't work i i'm talking about my own i'm not talking about yours i don't know yeah no my dick stopped working yeah just did not want to did it was a vessel for piss and even then it would complain uh-huh but not do i have to my dick yawned in my face oh anyway yeah um yeah that's uh abraham lincoln great president probably number one ugly as fuck yeah but you could be ugly and get pussy in 1860s. He was tall, yeah. Yeah, he was powerful, right?

He was... He was tall and had strong features. I think that's less ugly to women than just a pud. He was also a wrestler, right? Is that true? He wrestled, yeah. Yeah, a big-time wrestler. I don't know.

That was our president's rank due to fuckability. I think you should have to wrestle if you're a president. Who was the gay one? Henry Harrison? You? Or was it Franklin Pierce? Did you're president. Who was the gay one? Henry Harrison? You. Or was it Franklin Pierce? Did you put a gay guy in the S tier? Maybe.

I don't know. I don't know. I just thought he was a good looking guy. I thought, you know what? Presidential? Regal? Where'd you put George Washington? Oh, he was in the A tier.

He's disgusting. Yeah, apparently he was like a mutant. And didn't he look like you exactly? That's what I was going to say. He looked like you. Yeah. You look just like George Washington. Yeah, apparently he was like a mutant. And didn't he look like you exactly? I was going to say, he looked like you. You look just like George Washington. That's your celeb lookalike, dude. I'll take it. He was a president.

Is it the standard picture of him that you look just like, or is it modern day George Washington? Modern day. You can look at the standard picture. Can you find modern day George Washington, or George Washington, what he would look like if he were today because it is 100 mook yeah that is how you're going to age and george washington was a redhead was it yeah i believe so apparently he was a redhead he he had like native american teeth

yeah like he would like insert insert random teeth to his mouth. He had slave teeth. Oh yeah, fake teeth. His dentures were that of other people that he... Which is crazy. What if we had never evolved past the powdered wigs? What if we were just sitting here all in powdered wigs? I would love that.

Yeah, no one would know. What era of fashion did you like the best, that you looked the best in? Oh man, good question. I don't know. I don't think we've gotten to that era yet. Okay. I think I'd look good in, like, 20s cane, three-piece suit. I might do okay in the Old West, I think.

Oh, yeah. No, I can't wear hats, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't wear hats, so that's a problem. I think the powder wig probably would have helped. I think you would look good in that. Yeah. Like, the long one yeah huh i think the 20s are the 30s and 40s where everybody wore suits okay and everybody did i think that's probably our best fashion time what about like 50s when it was just like dark blue jeans rolled white t-shirt no because i wouldn't look cigarette

behind your ear wouldn't look good in a rolled white t-shirt. No, because I wouldn't have looked good in a rolled white t-shirt. Yeah, neither would I. I would have looked lumpy. Lumpy as fuck. Can't wear white. Even back then. People weren't lumpy back then, but I would have been. Yeah, I'm thinking like caveman just draped in like fur.

Yeah, you look good in saber-toothed tiger pelt. Yes. Just as much of it on as possible. What did they wear in Jesus' time? They just wore like... Robes? Cloths and blankets? I think they wore cloths, yeah.

That would suck. You know how bad it would suck to have bad vision back then? Probably the same as it sucks? I think about that often. No, because I can... When did they fix vision? Like the 1800s? Don't ask me.

You're real smart, but you can't get gauges of time. No. When did you say the car was invented? I don't know. Well, I know that's the late 1800s. It's also 2024 and he refuses to fix... I always get Jell-O fucked up. Jell-O. Jell-O mold dinners. I don't know if it's the

1600s or the 1950s. You sound very sick. Yeah, man. You sound bad. Yeah, progressively worse by the minute. That's good. I mean, it's going around. I think Titus has the exact same thing. And you say you're getting it? I think I'm getting over it. But I drank it out of my system.

That's the best way. That works. I don't think that works. Yes, it works. Do it. Today we've got something truly special for all the renters and landlords out there paying rent something we all have to do and let's be honest it can sometimes be a bit of a hassle but what if there were a way to make it all easier more straightforward and even beneficial for your financial future introducing rent app the ultimate tool for renters everywhere rent app takes the hassle out of paying rent by depositing your payments directly into your landlord's bank account.

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on Instagram and Twitter. And for our listeners, we've got an exclusive deal. Go to rent.app slash barstool. Get $50 cash back on your first rent payment. And if you're a landlord, go to rent.app slash landlord to get paid on time and without hassle. Boys, I'm not going to wood, but I'm getting the itch for springtime. Like it's starting to... 60 degrees starting to it's getting sunnier more you see the sun more

it's getting light earlier in the day it's getting dark later in the day I'm starting to get the itch kind of need it and so far we've gotten through winter okay I'm sure we're going to have one or two more bad stretches but I can see the end I think we're going to have three or two more bad stretches, but I can see the end. I think we're going to have three to four more bad stretches.

You think? Yeah. Yeah, but I think once March Madness starts up, that almost covers the bases. It's this sports doldrum that we're in. Yeah, that's almost worse than the actual weather thing. Yeah, what did you guys do yesterday? I felt kind of naked. I went manteaking.

But you would do that any other Sunday. Yeah, but it did feel, that is a bad feeling. That first, oh shit. The Saturday and Sunday actually where you just have no direction. Yeah. Like, oh, I guess this is the day you do stuff. I have like free time. How do I spend it now?

Yeah. Yeah, I walked outside. It was like, it was pretty warm, but when but when it blows when the wind blows it sucks i went and made custom chapstick at the lip lab when i took a nap he went to the lip lab made custom chapstick yeah did you buy any like subscriptions or premium boxes you sound terrible the lip lab is that a franchise or is that chicago specific don't know but i was the only guy so fellas you getting them plumped up no i didn't do plumper i just wanted uh i want the i want the puppies to be frictionless baby that's a trend or uh

asap rocky just came out out with designer men's lip balm. It's $18. It's me and Rocky. You all right? That's a bit much. Yeah, it's $18 a stick. You guys are looks maxing now? Yeah.

Mewing looks maxing. It's too late for us. Yeah, I've just accepted I'm going to look like shit. No, I think you should save tactics like that for when you're actually visibly aging, like getting older. Yeah. Like Brandon, you start a looks maxing, that could be crazy. No, Brandon has negative carthal tilt. He has to rope max.

No, I don't. Yeah, you do yeah you do yeah i probably do what is that suicide okay what i i'm lost on what you're talking about at all smaxing maxing if you put maxing behind any anything like you like you chicken sandwich max because you eat so many chicken sandwiches. Yeah he does chicken sandwich max. Oh looks maxing is just taking care of your looks. No it's like there's like a

trend of like doing like facial exercises. Mewing, bone smashing, ice rolling. Trying to make your face your facial features more aesthetically pleasing. In my head it's like when you get the eyebrows taken care of, the teeth perfect, you fix the nose. You get like a jaw exerciser.

You get the facial hair perfectly groomed. I think it's kind of like counterintuitive. It's like you're trying to be a Snapchat fan. No, they would say it's over and you have to heart reset. That's too late. Bank on reincarnation still rolling you're rolling the dice there big time yeah you could come back way worse what do you think you'll come back as present day i don't know like a there's there's a belief that you ascend uh by beings uh every time if you live a good life you go up if there's a belief that you ascend by beings

every time if you live a good life you go up if you live a bad life you go down so what would you come back as so I'll probably go I'll probably go up you're a good guy I don't know if there's anywhere to go do you go up from human

you want to be reincarnated as big cat I'd be like a Swedish goalie yeah of what sport swedish goalie of soccer like not the highest professional league but a decent comfortable living why swedish i think that would be an ascension from american yeah that part of maybe that part of the world they're the happiest yeah or they're the they've they found it the best figured it out yeah norway sweden finland not as much i don't know if they get caught up in that okay but sweden for sure. Denmark and Sweden and the Netherlands. But I think they're also just like the wealthiest. Right.

Which could also play a factor. And they're all stunningly beautiful. Yeah, that probably helps. They also don't let people in. No. You're not fucking up our thing we have going on here. When I was a kid, Swedish was the ideal of woman-ness. Yeah?

They would say it was a Swedish something team the Swedish swimsuit team or something like that was the ideal of women. Not even the swimming team, the swimsuit. But you talk about the swimsuit cover? I don't know what but I remember just Swedish being the ideal like if you

beautiful woman, she looks almost Swedish but I haven't heard swedish like that in a while 90s was slender blonde heroin chic yeah yeah i don't want to be reincarnated as a japanese salary man i'm gonna die at my desk you want to be asian so goddamn bad uh yeah yeah a japanese salary man that's what they call them they just go to work and then they go to the internet cafe and then fucking die at their desk. And they go back to their sleeping pods. You can see they'll just sleep in the bushes out in front of either the internet cafe or their business. The internet cafe.

Swedish bikini team, yes. Old Milwaukee beer, there you go. Yeah, several months in 91. TJ, click breasts. Let's read the wikipedia page for breasts i might have edited it i might be in the sources i can't show it no big picture of breasts edit uh all of us to be under our new tab notable breast lovers za tweeted out today shout out to sydney sweeney for having nice boobs

oh it's a good tweet yeah i don't know what was going on yesterday but this morning i opened my twitter and i saw that picture of her in a red dress like 50 billion times this morning you complaining or do i have to pause you my brother it's been a while look at that it's been a while since you've deleted a drunk tweet i haven't been drinking i haven't been drinking that much lately i miss drunk no i haven't been i haven't been drinking i've been uh been a good boy lately just wake up at 9 a.m zai's going on about these punk ass white Barstool. Nah, I've slowed it down a little bit. I will.

Can we see Zaz tweet one more time? Just because I need to know. I mean. It is a beautiful dress. Oh, big cat. Oh, dude. It's the mezcal. Is he going to back like tan as fuck

I think so yeah probably alright TJ you wanna spin the wheel I liked yucking it up with you boys today

yeah it's been fun yeah I think we're all beat up yeah everybody's sick I need a couple days I'm gonna have get a break at some point i don't know why when is it the time when is it the times uh 20 hours what

time was that tweeted this morning uh oh so you just meant like give me an hour or two uh nah seven seven come on brandon are you gonna tweet about it at seven because i'm looking i i mean after seeing her 10 times in a row, I just could not help myself. That was the plan, but goddamn them titties. I want to do a new segment on the Yak where the viewers can't see it, but we all show you a woman and we get your reaction. We have a Zav cam. Are you trying to get me canceled?

No, not canceled. No, no. I like this, yeah. Zav, I've been sending my titties to the boys. Do you want the titties every day? But, Brandon, oh, my days. Sorry. Sorry, I I've been sending my titties to the boys. Do you want the titties every day? Brandon, oh, my days. Sorry. Sorry, I haven't been sending you the titties.

I haven't got one. Oh, no, there is a photo today. We do have a fresh one. Oh, God. Yeah, I like that. Give Zah a picture of a decently famous woman. Zah, grab Sidney Sweeney's titties three times. You have a coupon to grab them three times or Arsenal Champions League win.

Sidney Sweeney's titties three times or Arsenal Champions League win? Yeah. Oh, my days. Arsenal Champions League win all day. Yeah? My man. Okay. Now, if we're talking Nia Long or...

All right. Wait a minute. Okay. Or... I mean, every man has a price, right? Every man has a titty price. Nia Long still considered like that? Yeah. She's been professionally hot for 30 years?

She gets hotter. She gets hotter by the day. I haven't seen Nia Long in a while. We're talking Fresh Prince Lisa, right? Yeah. Damn. Good for her. When's the last time we had a yak text?

Very, very recently. I must have skipped right... Oh, today. Yeah, okay. So I gotta go find Zah, because he's not entering my phone. Okay. You just sending him in the yak? No, I was gonna find his number. Okay. Okay.

Can't wait. I'm excited. Well, I don't know which one yours is, so I'm going to have to guess. The 813. I think it's the 813 right there. All right. There you go. All right. There you go, Zaha.

Did you just say, oh, God, under your breath, Zaha? Can't wait. Can't wait. This could. I mean, I just don't know what's coming in. I told you what's coming in. Let me see that. Yeah, but who, though?

Bonus card. Not anybody famous. Here we go. Not anybody famous. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. All righty. Damn.

Let's get the day started, boys. Woo. All right. Do we spin the wheel already? Yeah, spin it. Might get out of here just a hair early today, but it's a holiday, right? Brandon, you going to go listen to that new Vampire Weekend? No, I wasn't going to.

Two new songs. Just two new songs? Yeah. They release them like that? That's how it kind of just goes nowadays. Let's see what Ezra, see if he's in his bag. What is Vampire Weekend? Is it the scream music you like?

No, no, no. This is like the kind of music made for iPod commercials. Okay. Yeah. Like alt pop, indie pop? Indie pop. Yeah. All right.

Oh, wow. He didn't ask for it, so that's on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I think Big Cap's back tomorrow. We don't know. I know Kate's back tomorrow. Very exciting. I hope Titus is back tomorrow.

Mook, you back tomorrow? Yes, sir. Kyle? Yep. Kyle's out tomorrow. Yeah. He's going to be too sick. We'll see.

We'll see. And otherwise, that's the act. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. Have a good monday everybody let's have a week huh thanks for all the love and whatnot in the chat on on twitter love you guys bye