The Yak - Moro Returns for the Last Day of Gic January | The Yak 1-31-24

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Wouldn't it be gangster...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. It's the Yak. Sponsored by Roback. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. I got Q-Zips out the wazoo. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, crewnecks, vests, Leases, 20% off.

Roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, Roback.com. Go right now. John Feidelberg in the house. Hey. Hey, yo. Hey, John. Hey, how you doing? I just shot a basketball three times, so I'm going to be out of breath for a while.

Yeah, that happens to Brandon a lot. You spilled some pizza on your chest? You know what? I misspoke when I came in. I said I spilled pizza. What I spilled was a chicken parm sub. Oh. I wasn't going to correct myself unless someone asked that again.

But, yeah, I kind of just went with it. Still something you can't spill. You're also. You can spill two. There's two pieces of chicken. One fell off onto my chest. You spilled the chicken. You're also wearing lesbian shoes?

What are those? What are those? Birkenstocks? They're Birkenstocks. I know what Birkenstock What are those? What are those? Birkenstocks? They're Birkenstocks. I know what Birkenstocks are, but those are... It's lesbian socks and shoes. You can pull it off because you can pull anything off. From that angle, it looks...

I don't know what you do in New York City. When you get here, we're going to beat your ass. Are you wearing old school carpenter jeans too? They're a bit of a... It's got a hammer on it. Hell yeah. If I wore that outfit, you'd be calling me Connie. Yeah.

I would... Connie's a great lesbian. I actually... Oh, big old lesbian. Oh, what's the best lesbian name? Best lesbian name? Oh. Margaret came to mind first.

Licky? Marge? Joanne? Marge. Joanne. Joanne's Marge. Joanne. Joanne's very good. Joanne's my aunt's name. And I actually dress like a lesbian aunt most of the time.

Yeah. But you can pull it off because you have the confidence to pull that shit off. Like, you wear shit, and I'm like, where did he find all that stuff? And he's just confident. All right. The 100 most lesbian-ish first names ranked by lesbianism. I like this. Okay. Molly.

Molly. I don't think. That's 100. That's 100. Ryan. Go down. Go down. Wait. This is 100. Okay. Robin. I can't see. Is it an I or a Y? It was an I. Yeah. Tara. Kate. Oh. Katie. Alexis. These are just girl names. I can't see it. Is it an I or a Y? It was an I.

Tara, Katie, Alexis. These are just popular names. Barb. Barb. Deb as well. I think Barb. Because like Debra, if you go to Deb. Deb. Sam.

Sam. Barb, Deb, Sam. Oh, they just did Ellen for Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, Ellen. So I guess that makes sense. What's the most popular basketball name, LeBron? Yeah. Okay. just did Ellen for Ellen DeGeneres yeah yeah so I guess that makes sense I actually saw a popular basketball name LeBron yeah okay I saw on my Twitter feed today the the time magazine from when Ellen came out oh yeah it's such a big deal awesome his shoes yes yep i'm gay i love it it was a big

deal when was it it was like late 90s yeah she she kissed a woman on her uh on her tv show right yeah and i remember will and grace was a big deal too yeah yeah it was the most famous coming out uh probably that's the one. I have that one. Kevin Spacey after he was accused of sexual assault. I have that framed in my brain. Listen, guys. All those crimes? Well, I'm gay.

Kevin Spacey's was huge. It was huge. When Obama does it, it'll be crazy. Malicex. Long time coming. Oh, thatfl guy the michael michael sam yeah who else yeah but like back in the 90s that was like a story that competed with war yeah ricky martin probably ricky martin had more clicks than Operation Desert Storm. Wait, he came out? Yeah. I miss that. I remember my mom cried.

Yeah, she said, what a waste. I remember that well. What about all those chicks in Livin' La Vida Loca? I know, man. That was fake? I think so. Prosthetic hard cock. Damn. You could see his dangling below. Damn.

Wayne Brady just came out as likes to fuck pansexual pansexual yeah he will fuck anything really yeah that's the improv in him all right here's this you gotta fuck it a tuba yep people have been slipping those uh yeah he slipped it in those pansexual come outs and like like it's nothing he's yeah you're gay he slipped it in in a instagram post a little music video he does dancing around he's like wait what you're okay pansexual yeah i think we all go through a pansexual phase when we're like 14 15 like we'll fuck oh yeah yeah couch yeah that one rubber tube that was hard to hold

and had a dolphin glitter in it. I need someone to fuck a Stanley Cup. You remember those? Those water tubes that were impossible to hold? Yes, they look like eels. Yeah. I fucked the shit out of one of those. Oh, no.

There was a Bachelor guy who came out as pansexual, but then was like, never mind, I'm actually just gay. And I thought that going back into the closet a little bit. They're sapiosexual, so you're only attracted to people that you think are intelligent. Is that a thing? Yeah. Malasek's asexuality is going viral on TikTok, by the way. Really? Are they proud of him?

He's got a lot of Ws, and I think I'm on his side, honestly side honestly but also it's about to make us hit 100k on there we go what side do you mean what are the sides like going to a bar and not caring about going up to talk to girls just going to a bar to hang out with fellas yeah like not going out to pursue women seems like the right side of the argument what are the comments like on that post let me bring him up going home with a better story is way better than going home with a girl. Right, but he made it seem like he's not even interested to any level. He would merely tolerate

it like blue cheese. I'm standing firmly with Malasek right now. You don't talk. I agree with him in principle. It's just that he keeps talking always and it makes his case worse. It also seems to be affecting him.

He can't goaltend anymore in soccer. But, John, you're also different because I feel like in – you don't have a girlfriend right now, do you? No. Okay. I was going to say something that I didn't want to get you in trouble. I feel like when you go out, girls have to basically be like – you don't pay them any attention and

they're like john we're fucking now yeah like i i'm so attracted to you we're fun like you didn't throw any game at me but we're fucking you're forgetting john's gay it's all a plot the uh i i just read before i got on the plane, Colin Coward was talking about the Taylor Swift stuff, and he had a pretty good little monologue or whatever, but he slipped in that 50% of men are not intimate with women, and that sounds way too high. Then he said, and the other 50% have to pick up the slack. That was weird.

Yeah, we have to fuck twice as hard. I have the clip. I have the clip. I can send it to TJ. What does that mean? I don't know, but he was talking just straight about Taylor Swift. And then he dropped the 50% of men don't have... Did he say all intimate?

He said 50% of men are not intimate with women, so the other 50% are intimate with multiple. Can you have sex without being intimate? He's kind of saying that he's making up for it. Yes. He's like, I've been putting in... Thank you, Colin. Colin, I don't know him.

I've never met him. I don't know his life, but he does give off big swingers vibes. I can see that. I like to think that he fucks his partner so hard, I don't have sleep with mine correct yeah it counts double yeah yeah there's a seismic balance to the whole thing yeah i think so it's like a sith and jedi thing yeah yeah i'm not having sex no your girlfriend's like let's have sex and you And you're like, no, honey, Colin had sex. And he crushed. Yeah.

We're good. As males, we're good. We're good as guys. Yeah, today we checked it off. The scoreboard's fine. Yeah, it's like having neighbors who mow your grass. There's a stat out there. It's kind of uncomfortable for you sad guys that 50% of men never have real intimacy with a woman. That means the other 50% have multiple intimate relationships with women.

Mathematically. No. What is that logic? I feel like he's coming out as a swinger. I don't know what that means. That's not what that means at all. No. No, he's saying basically all these guys.

No, he's saying all these guys aren't fucking women, so he's got to fuck them all. That's what I mean, yeah. Like, that's assuming that 100% of women are fucking. Right. Yeah. But he's essentially, like, he's basically calling us out, being like, I've been having to do all this fucking. I have to fuck all the fuckers. What you're ignoring is he was making a football point.

He was talking about Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, and then he just stopped and he said that. But that's Colin. All his football points are like, you know, it's like getting a divorce and getting a new car. Yeah. I like the new car, but then the car turns out to be Kirk Cousins. You're like, what?

How did we get here? For all you sad boys out there. Yeah. Isn't that your brand? Yeah. I was just sitting quietly in was waiting for that one. That was obvious. I was just sitting quietly in the corner for that, Nick.

Colin Coward called me a virgin four hours ago. Damn. Tough start to the day. By the way, this is kind of related. Steven, did you know that your offensive coordinator, who's now the coach of the Panthers, wrote a cuckold book? Dave Canales? Yeah. I'm not familiar with that type of literature, no.

Okay. He wrote a book with his wife that just detailed all the times he cheated on his wife. So his wife just made him write a book. And addiction to porn and stuff. That's cuckold? I think he's getting cucked by the fact that he had to write an apology book. I think she's getting c addiction to porn and stuff Wait that's cuckold? I think he's getting cucked by the fact that he had to write an apology book I think she's getting cucked Oh she is?

Yeah What is that? I think that's a fantasy of hers A fetish But he has to make He had to write the book Like he fucked up so bad She's like the only way we're getting out of this

Is you gotta write this book With vivid detail But that's not cuckold This merit Wait he italicized this? So this is a punishment publish? I don't know. The question that changed everything.

Forward by Tony Dungy. Are you sure? That Dave could have. Wait. No, this can't be real. If Tony Dungy is writing the forward. On the top of it, they have his occupation. No, that was another review from another guy.

That was another offensive coordinator. That was another offensive coordinator review? Yeah. No. No, I think that was his occupation. I feel like Tony Dungy's not writing a foreword for a... Wait, what are you talking about? You think it's some other Dave Canales?

No, no, no. I would like to see the... Being vulnerable and honest in our marriage can be very difficult. It's exactly what Lizzie and Dave have provided in this marriage. Oh, Todd Downing. Have you ever said to yourself, there's got to be more to marriage than this? Nine years, they could check all the boxes. Promising.

That's a lot of boxes. Yeah. Giving up and getting out. Wait, hold on. I want to find the article. Saving your relationship. Anything between this marriage. Invitation to high risk.

Well, this is obviously just a book that after they went through some problems, they stayed together. But he had to write a book being like, I cheated and I'm addicted to porn. And he got through it. What do you mean you have to? Anytime you write a book, you have to write a book. And also, you think he wanted to write a book

being like, here's all the times I cheated on my wife? I mean, maybe. It's kind of sick. Putting it in print, like, I fuck a lot. I cheated on my wife? I mean, maybe. It's kind of sick. Putting it in print, like, I fuck a lot. I make a lot of money. I fuck a lot. For posterity's sake. A lot of women could read that book.

My legacy is that I fuck women. Lock me up. You didn't know this, huh, Steven? I did not, but, I mean, he's part of the Panthers organization now, so fuck that guy. Yeah, a lot of women have. It's not what's a buck always a buck? Oh, okay, here we go. Read for my books. So I just Googled it.

Oh. I cheated on Lizzie for the first time at my bachelor party one month before we got married. At his bachelor party? In the book? What a dickhead. Well, that's not cheating yet. Yeah, that's not cheating. He's like, that's not cheating.

From the start of our relationship, I was binge drinking and going out with my friends without Lizzie. Before I was ever unfaithful to her, I was already there in my mind. Oh. Oh, he was mind fucking. Oh, Russell Wilson. This sounds like he's dramatically falling on the sword. Right. This means that he had to do an apology.

He's making it seem like he's troubled rather than a bad guy. I was thinking in my mind that's a problem. But you still think he of free will wrote this book? I think they fought through some things. There's no way you want to write this book. He doesn't want to write that. No one wants to write that book. We didn't want to write our book.

That means that she made him do that. I would assume. As a punishment. That would be a punishment to her, too. Why wouldn't he just get a divorce at that point? That's like a shame fetish. He's got the money. Why wouldn't he just get a divorce at that point?

Because he loves her, Brandon. Yeah, he's fighting through something. He's got sex addiction issues. I give this man credit. The best addiction to have. Addicted to sex? Addicted to sex addiction? Oh, I'm so sorry.

Addicted to sex? I just can'm so sorry. Addicted to sex? I just can't stop fucking. Oh, that sucks, man. I don't know. Oh, okay. This is a redemption story. I understand the story. I'm saying like guys cheat on their wife, they get them like a diamond ring or something.

Why would she want, why would she be like, here's what you have to do. You have to tell everybody and put in print how many times i got cheated on i think they're both into it i think they're both into it so yeah i think they're both partners and you know what we fought through something let's put it out there for people that they got like a hero complex where it's like yeah we people can learn from us we overcame something no one else can overcome okay yeah a portion of the book concerns the sexual infidelity and how the couple worked their way through it, partly through counseling, which they advocate,

and eventually found their way back to a Christian-based marriage. So that is the book I assume Tony Dungy wrote. It's a God thing. There it is. That's a God thing. That's how they got Tony Dungy. Oh, my God, that's Tony Dungy's music. That's just what happens.

Church bells. Is that Tony Dungy? He's coming in from the rafters. Tony Dungy writes a lot of book forwards. I think I've read like three books forwarded by Tony Dungy. He forwarded Tim Brown's book. I don't know why I know that. So it's really just two.

Well, you read it probably. It's two. He did two. You read Tim Brown's book. I did. It's about being a man. Wow. Standing up and being a fucking man. He did two. You read Tim Brown's book. I did. It's about being a man. Standing up and being a fucking man. Oh no, Malasek.

Oh, I didn't even notice. Malasek has bass face. Oh no. Oh Nick, didn't you have girls hitting you up to get in Malasek's DMs? Yeah, I've gotten some tweets. Let's go. Can you show the magazine again? He's a catch. I know.

Of course. Who's Katrina, Doctor, and did she kill her patients? Oh. Is that Hurricane Katrina? No, because it's 2004. Oh, that was Katrina. No, 2005 was Katrina. When did the hit stick come out?

2004 game, 2005. Madden 2005, that's correct. Katrina, Doctor. August 29, 2005. Madden 2005. Yeah, that's correct. Katrina Doctor. August 29, 2005. All-time clip with Steven and Megan making money. Talking about the hit stick? Yeah, yeah. Not a murderer.

Wait, her last name is Doctor? Oh. What does Katrina Doctor mean? I don't... But wait, that magazine was from 2004. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes sense anymore. What's it saying?

It was a shocking allegation. No, her name is not Katrina Doctor. That would be a great last name. It's a doctor from Hurricane Katrina. Although that would be like if her name was Katrina Doctor and she got accused of killing people, the minute Hurricane Katrina hits, she's like off the hook. Yeah. Not the worst Katrina anymore.

But that's what she's cleared out. Yep, you're good. She was a doctor for Hurricane Katrina patients, it says. Oh. That's why she was called Katrina Doctor. She was grabbing towels.

Oh, okay. So the magazine actually came out in 2006, so that all makes sense. Got it. It all checks out. Big Cat, you want your birthday gift?

Yeah. Cool. Oh. Ooh. Oh, wow. Oh. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh. Oh. Shit.

What is this? Uh-oh. Not like. Is that a. Oh. That's your 50-50 raffle kit. Oh, let's go. Oh, my God.

This is incredible. Uh-huh. Holy shit. Yeah. You maybe could win one. Oh. He's going to play. Go around the office and sell them.

Oh, let's do one. Yeah, let's do one right now. Alright. You set the price. This is incredible. Do a free roll. I also got for my birthday... I also got you blue tickets. Oh, man. Nice. Kissing boss man's ass.

Blue tickets. I can run one of these for the Super Bowl stream if you want. Yeah. Okay. We're doing a free one? I'll take 100. Take one and pass it down. Okay. Take one and pass it down.

This is incredible. I don't think Dan knows what take one and pass it down means. I don't think. Take one and pass it down. Well, you're just giving us one. He's not taking. Take one. Right, but. Pass it down. down well you're just giving us one he's not taking take one right but that implies you're giving us multiple uh uh he's got hey now now we're lost oh he's got hey brain everyone gets two i that was the that was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life having like five tickets in

here might be the saddest last night was uh that was torture this side's good oh it looked like it you sneeze a lot oh my god my whole body was itchy my my nose was like i was just downing uh allergy medicine it was actually educational because i i thought you were going to get hay fever so then i had to find out what hay fever is yeah and it turns out it's just allergies oh that's all that is oh it sounds intense yeah it sounds a lot worse it's just allergies but do you develop the allergy like is there a concern that the next time you're around hay you now are allergic in a way you weren't the first time the very google i read seemed like hay is just full of allergens no matter what i also realize what the fuck is this? Oh. Well, so.

Did you see the quigs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, find quigs. PFT and I kiss every year on our birthdays. Yeah. Because they touch. Right.

And then we just happen to be on a stream doing a hey. How long did it take him? Six hours. Oh, that's not so bad. That's bad. Well, we. To be rolling around. We kissed. Does anyone have two? I have. I, that's not so bad. That's bad. Well, we kissed. Does anyone have two?

I got two. I got two. You got two. We kissed so that we could get an extra five needles thrown in every 20 minutes. Oh, to find. That's great. Because it sucked. Yeah.

Oh, that's how you do it. It is the hard task. It's the hardest task. It's the hardest task. It's the first hard task. I saw Quigs make it funny for thinking finding 39 would be easier than finding 1. And I think that checks out. That's gambler brain. Wait, is it not?

Once you find 38, that 1 is... Once you find 38, you know all the places. Once you find 38, you have to now find a needle in a haystack. Oh, fuck. So you either find a needle in a haystack or you find 38 needles and then find a needle in a haystack. You've also probably already passed it up.

Yeah, you probably already buried, moved it. How do I do this? I don't know. I don't know how you get it out. Just so everyone knows. Good ass bearings. You win these all the time? I've won like four raffles in my life. What? Then I don't know how you get it out. Just so everyone knows. Good ass bearings. Yeah, that's a good one. You win these all the time? I've won like four raffles in my life.

What? I have two grandfather clocks to my name. Still going. Why were you in two grandfather clock raffles? Just like stuff when I was a kid. Right there. My parents would put my name in. It's in the bubble wrap.

I won one in fifth grade. What'd you win? A camera. Like a nice camera? No, like a $9 camera from Walmart. I won a color TV. That got taken away from me because I was- At what point did we stop calling them color TVs?

Yeah. Good question. I don't think you're old enough to have ever needed the term color TV. I think it mattered then. The winning number is 94002. Me. Motherfucker. What a rush.

So I can't even win my own raffle? Uh-uh. Oh, that's fun. And I win that. Well, you could draw another number. No, you won. Yeah, I won. That was amazing.

Shit. What a rush. As you were like 9400, I was like, I knew it. I'm going to win again. I was getting real I knew it. I'm going to win again. I forgot we all have the same name. I was getting real excited. Thank you for the gift, though. We'll definitely use this.

For something. No, I think we've got to put all of them in there. Probably use it for a draft or maybe Royal Rumble or something. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, last night was really tough. I don't ever want to do that again. Jerry's, Jerry's, Jerry After Dark is torture. Yes.

It's a torture chamber. You get in there and you just, you realize that you made a huge mistake and there's just no getting out of there. How quickly did you realize big mistake? We didn't find our first one for like the first 30 minutes and we're like, now we have 38 to go. It did get easier because we did look through all the hay. The first 15 minutes were a roller coaster

where you'd throw out a strategy. You would try it for about 12 seconds. We never had a strategy. Fuck the strategy. Let's try something else. Our strategy was just like... Basically, our only plan was that we would stop every 20 minutes to come up with a plan and then not follow it. And not do the plan.

Yeah, not do the plan whatsoever. Was it rough on the hands? Yeah, we put on the gloves eventually. How about the knees? You're on your knees for six hours. Knees hurt. My neck hurts. Like, weird angles.

And just sucking in hay the whole time. Yeah. But it was a thrill. It was kind of like being with your boys. And you find one of those needles. I was finding a lot of them. Oh, you carried. Yeah. I was finding a lot of them. That was probably real weird. Oh, you carry.

Yeah. I have great eyesight. So I was like, I think I'm going to be good at this. And then Billy came. He was useless. I literally found a needle. I tried to show him how to find a needle. And I found one.

We looked through this big thing of dust. And I found a needle in front of his face. And I started to pick it up and he tried to steal it from me. What? Yeah. The most demoralizing thing i if you guys didn't see i found the first needle 30 minutes in and then pft and jerry were like let's let's we want to test how hard it is to find so let's drop it in this little pile i saw that yeah and they lost it for like 15 that was so funny it was just like you got to be kidding me i saw that clip and like the screen grab of it for like 15 minutes. That was so funny. It was just like, you've got to be kidding me. I saw that clip, and the screen grab of, it looks like something you'd use in a meme, like a joke, and it was just the actual quote.

Like, how did you guys lose the needle I found? Yeah. The guy's dressed like a cow sitting in a pile of hay. It's like a far side comic caption. And I kind of lost my cool with Lucas because he was like, it doesn't count now. And I was like, I will come and beat your ass. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's another feature of Jerry After Dark is uh just hating

Lucas yeah yeah wanting to fight Lucas and I was kind of going crazy because I was I took a shit load of allergy medicine which I don't have allergies so it was the first time in my life I was taking it it's making me loopy it makes you drowsy yeah it was being I was just saying weird shit what were you saying I don't know I was just like I kept on talking about the dust I was just saying weird shit. What were you saying? I don't know. I kept on talking about the dust. I was like, I love this dust. I was born in the dust. Dusty Rhodes, Dustin Johnson, singing Dust in the Wind over and over. You took some allergy meds and turned into Russ Cole?

Yeah, pretty much. I was just mumbling to myself. Yeah, T.J. Watt. That was awesome because T.J he should have a bigger tv right after he found it yeah he should right after he tweeted this jerry found one and he was just like i bet you tj's so proud of me right now jerry jerry's so eagerly agreeing with you when you're like i bet this is what cracks like he's a gap pretty much well jerry actually had a great point he was like i'm really good at this He found like 11 or 12 of them.

He's like, because when you're a drug addict, you're always nervous that you're dropping your stuff. And you're rummaging around trying to find your shit. He's lucky. He's like, so I was built for this. Yeah. I wouldn't recommend doing it. I don't ever want to do that again. But Jerry, after dark is fun.

It's a good time. Especially. I don't ever want to do that again. But Jerry After Dark's fun. It's a good time. Especially if you don't quit. Why'd you look at me? Why'd you look at me? There's two people in here. I also looked at Titus. No, you didn't. You looked at me before.

You hard pivoted to me. What, did we quit? We did not quit. The other thing you got to realize about Jerry After Dark, no matter what the outcome, they're going to be mad. Yeah. We forgot to eat the mini cupcakes after the first five. Like, to be mad. Yeah. We forgot to eat the mini cupcakes after like the first five. Mad.

Like, this is erroneous. You didn't eat the mini cupcakes. Unsubscribe. I ate them for you this morning. Oh, thank you. That's nice of you, Brandon. Yeah. Yeah, we went on Jerry After Dark in the experimental phase of Jerry After Dark.

They didn't give us bad tasks. They didn't just give us bad tasks. He said, come on the show and build a fire and we're like done and then we got there and he's like now wear this blindfold and stick this mousetrap in your dick and we're like wait a second where did all that come from crawl around and find it's tough and then just get booed and then get booed for not doing enough yeah who cleaned up the hay um probably ryan ryan and lucas beasts great work yeah yeah that was it i did do because i like there is something funny like when we were down oh shit when we were down in

the hay i think i said it probably about four hours in i was like like it's my birthday and like me and pft like we're we're of rich now. Like why are we doing this? What are we doing? And then so when we finished, I did do a little bit of – I felt a little bad about this, but I do have to get up at like 630 in the morning and take my son to school. I did a little bit of a rich guy move where I was like, Lucas and Ryan, just give me your Venmo.

I'm going to just give you money and I'm going home. Yeah. I don't think that's a rich guy. I mean, yes, it is. I mean, that's a fair bet. and I'm going home. Yeah. I don't think that's a rich guy. I mean, yes, it is. I mean, that's a fair bet. It wasn't your mess. Yeah. You were a guest on the show.

But it was like 2 in the morning. I was like, I have to be up in four or five hours. Yeah. I have to go. But yeah, those guys are the best. How'd they do it? How'd they clean it up? I don't know.

Where's the hay now? Yeah, where's the hay? I think they threw it in the alley. Oh, really? Yeah. All that hay is in the back alley. They didn't take it to the horse shelter? No.

Yeah, Billy kept talking about a horse shelter. We have nowhere a horse shelter. We've got to find a local horse shelter. Like where you put stray horses? Yeah, the homeless horses are in O Block. He kept on talking about that. He was just like, we've got to find a horse shelter. What?

That would be terrifying. Yeah. Salvation Army is serving up hay soup. He's a rescue. Get Spider in here. I want him to go find the hay. It's got to be somewhere outside of the building. Three bales were $500.

Is that a lot or a little? Dude, that feels right. Those bales were so much. They weighed so much. So I think it's a lot. It's a little. I. It's a little. Yeah, I would have said a little. I also realized this morning I don't know what hay is.

Straw. Dried straw. What is straw? Right. Is this grass? Grass. Is it just grass? All that is is fucking grass.

Tall grass. Dried out. Brandon? Where did they discard the hay? Can you go take a picture of it? So that'll just be there forever? Ever. It's never going anywhere.

Kind of lasts, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, this is the hay coming here. So now we've got to get a horse to come to the office. Yeah. Yes. A homeless horse. Show it one more time.

What Illinois town is that? Warrenville? Yeah, Warrenville. So it had to come, I don't know where that is, but transit was probably part of the cost. I think the delivery fee was like an extra $300 or $400. Okay. Oh, shit. Like, if we'd have picked up the hay on our own, it would have been a lot cheaper. But we managed to get it in one day.

Yeah, Paige is the best yeah i don't know how she does it hay is plentiful like there's there's no shortage on hay yeah hay there's a lot of hay out there and it's cheap to make that's the thing i didn't realize you make it are there hay fields are there fields that are meant for growing hay absolutely yes oh that's not just a byproduct of land no absolutely let's get those numbers up galusha galusha farms it's not just a byproduct of land? No, absolutely. Let's get those numbers up. Galusha Farms. It's for three grown men trying to find needles for their birthdays. Well, it wasn't Jerry's birthday.

Yeah, true. I don't know why that's correct. Why does it matter, dude? I don't know why that's correct. Yeah, stick it to him, Brando. I don't know why that's correct. Fuck you, Jerry. Now, wait a minute. Not even your birthday. you're choosing him i'll be a birthday guy dj all right spider i guess

this is gonna be very funny that there's we're gonna make that backyard we're gonna we're gonna clean up in the spring yeah and make it something well the hay will help grass grow what if it's all gone oh really what if we get robbed? Somebody stole our hay. Robbed the hay. I really went through that hay. There was not. It was just dust. But there's two still wound bales, right?

Yes. So we might just have those forever. Yeah. So at 2 o'clock in the morning, Ryan and Lucas just shuttled the hay. I think – oh, there it is. Wow. Okay. Yeah, there's all the hay. A lot of hay outside.

We got a – that's a backyard. Yeah. Yeah, no, we're going to do something with that. Put our hay in it. Yeah, that's our hay field. Yeah, they – I think White Boy Rick too, they just cleaned it all up. Can we catch it on fire or something? Definitely.

We were thinking about lighting it on fire. It's right under train tracks, though. That's probably illegal. Yeah, very illegal. This is going to be fun to look back on this clip when this place burns down. Yeah. It will burn down. What started this fire?

This super pile of flammable stuff. The driest thing. Oh, yeah, we should probably move it away from it. Yeah, because people go out there to smoke, don't they? I don't think so. I have. If this thing doesn't burn down by the end of the week, I'll be surprised. Would that part of you be like, that was kind of worth it?

If the whole building burned down? Yeah. Nah. There would be an upside. I don't think so. Of course it would be an upside. I don't think so. Of course it would happen. Yeah.

How do you make it non-flammable? You just got to get water on it? Hey. People in the chat are very concerned about it. Wait, really? Spread that out. Piles are bad. Mice will live in it.

It will catch on fire. If it freezes, it's a disaster. Freezes, it's a disaster? Rat army, rat haven. Spread it out. We'll spread it out, okay? We got it. We got it, guys. I'll take some home. Thank you. We got it. They said rat army. Like that. That's bad. It's either going to get moldy,

frozen, fire, or rats. Alright, we'll spread it out. Is that everything that took down the pharaoh of Egypt? All the plagues? I think we leave it. We'll see which one wins out. I don't want to see it. Let the rats fight the fire and the plague and the mold. Does it smell like burning moldy rat?

Mincy and the rat fire pile. Mincy might just live in it. This is his apartment now. Do you remember that rat? I think we called it the Rat Hotel right by the old office, like the first office in New York City. There was like if you walked down Broadway, there was a grate that if you went at the right time at night,

there would be literally hundreds of rats going back and forth. I don't. I would avoid that like the plague. I am not. I'm one of those weird guys who don't like rats. Yeah. So it would. Let's see.

I remember YP tweeting a video once maybe of that, but it was just like a thousand rats poking their heads through. Yeah. They would go back and forth to like the trash piles. Yeah. And you just, you would almost like kick a rat every time you walked down the street late at night. It's, I can't go home at night.

I have to take U's home because there are so many rats out. Rats everywhere. It's not fun. Have you seen the Chicago rat hole? Yeah, I lived right by it. I lived right by it. Yeah, my old place before I moved. Yeah, there's a hole right in the street. They plastered it, right?

Oh, yeah, it's a landmark now. It's in Roscoe. Oh, I haven't seen this. The one thing about there it is People are like going to it and like 3d molding it And over here we have the rest of the shrine which is oh that's beautiful course light They have a little piece of cheese and a in memory of Jim Lee Which I apparently the community has decided is the name of the rat.

That's a good name. Chimley. Aw, did that person just say aw? Yeah. That's a disgusting thing to put your hands in. I don't think it's a real rat. I don't think, I think it's probably artist made. I mean, the good thing, like the rats for the most part stick in the alleys in Chicago,

which is nice. Yeah, but now they have me. They just stay in the alleys. Yeah. They don't, like New York, it's like they're everywhere. They're everywhere. The idea that squirrels are rats but just cuter. Yeah.

Is that fair? Yeah. Oh, they're all. If you shaved a squirrel, it'd look like a rat? That's true. No, because they can climb. They scamper. Rats don't scam. A lot of those little

things are basically rats. Yeah. It always makes me excited when I go into an alley in Chicago and there's that notice up. They're like, we just nuclear bombed this alley. Rat bomb. That's the most metal sign in the world. It's so awesome. That's what it says? Yeah. It's like, don't bring your dog in this alley because we just bombed it.

I want that. It's so cool. Seriously, there's this big yellow sign with a rat and an bombed it. I want to know something bad. It's so cool. Seriously, there's this big yellow sign with a rat and an X through it. If I was on a t-shirt, I'd wear the fuck out of it. Oh, we should make that a t-shirt. Yeah, we should get that sign and make it a t-shirt. It's a good band name.

That's a great Midwest emo band. What makes rats climb inside walls? If you're on the ninth floor of your building, how does a rat get up there? What entices a rat up there? I think just food. They can smell it from that far? Right.

And rats are super smart. That's the craziest part about a rat. I remember I had rats in my apartment. Look at this. Sniper scout. Target rats. Yeah, it's like with the- Yeah, target rats.

That would be a sick tattoo. Yeah. Oh. And you know that place has just been nuked. Agent Orange. Have you ever used glue traps for them? No. That's very inhumane. No, that's for mouses, though.

I don't think you could do that for rats. I had rats in my old, old apartment, and they said that the difference between rats and mice, like a mouse you can just put a trap out you can put food out they'll come and get it they'll get trapped like one of them will get trapped the next one will get trapped said if a rat if you like move something in your kitchen a rat will come back and be like something's moved really yeah and like stay away from it because they're that smart rats are significantly smarter than significantly smarter

yeah i've said this story before but i had a rat and they they started the only reason i realized we had rats was stella came out of the closet one day you can put her on a gay lance bass lance bass with like a popsicle stick in her mouth i was like where the fuck did you find that and I went into the closet It was like a little nest of food. Mmm. The rat had made and Stella was just in cahoots with the rat It was just like the rat was making a nest and Stella was going eating it the anti Tom and Jerry Wait, so is that a rat or a mouse that was a rat? Okay. I don't ever had a rat I've had mice. Rats are, like, you have to get the big fucking traps that, like, kill them instantly. Like the doodles.

I had the electric one that shocked them to death. Or the poison. They do the poison with the rats, too. The little huts that are always outside of, like, restaurants. Yeah, then they die in the walls. Yep. That's another problem. And then they start reeking.

Rats are a success story. Like, they thrive where we live. They're the only animal that does that. Them and mice. Cockroaches? Did rats start the bubonic plague? They're everywhere. Do they have our fucking number? Yeah. They did the plague. They took down Genghis Khan. They let us know. Yeah, we should kind of respect rats.

Scared. Rats and mosquitoes. They kind of rule. Rats are kind of our equal. Yeah. They're like China. Let's be careful. It's a sleeping giant. Yeah, when you think about it, rats, they just survive around us. Yeah, they should be. They prefer to be where we are.

Right. We give them food. And there's no rats in Alberta, Canada. What? Remember that, yeah. Why? Is it rats or mice? I don't know.

Alberta claims that there are no rats or no mice there. One of those. In the entire province? In the entire province, yes. Is this like snakes in Ireland? Maybe. The Pied Piper thing? Do they have a Pied Piper?

Were there ever snakes in Ireland? Pied Piper was rats, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Aren't you just asking for people to bring rats to Alberta? 70 years ago. Fuck you. Like a grenade. That just makes me want to go to Alberta with a rat.

Let's air drop some rats in there. Remember when Eric Adams did that speech? He's like, the war on rats. Yeah. There's a rat czar. Yeah, he's like 150K, wasn't he? Yeah. We have something as simple as a crackpot.

Report a rat. Report a rat. Report a rat. That's crazy. Just someone. Call the police. So I got a question. That's ratting on a rat.

Send an email to see a rat. Were there ever snakes in Ireland? Yeah,ting on a rat send an email to see a rat are there were there ever snakes in ireland i'm gonna send it i don't think so so they just took credit for it i think that i think saint patrick did i think i think like i got rid of all the elephants in america yes oh dude that's awesome that was me i did up yeah i got rid of the elephant yeah i did i got right no name i love the elephants so they, I did. I drove them all off. I love the elephants. So they were smart enough to just take credit for it. Dude. That's all everything is. Yeah.

Elephants here would be fucking awesome. Yeah, dude. Why did you do that? No, I think you missed one at the Chicago Zoo. You got to go take care of it. Yeah, you got to go bring it up to Alberta. Yeah. A rat and a mouse are a very funny pairing.

An elephant and a mouse. Or elephant and mouse, yeah. Elephants are afraid of mice. Have they ever fucked with each other? Have they done anything together? Raccoons. very funny pairing an elephant a mouse or elephant a mouse yeah elephants are afraid of mice they ever fucked with each other are they done anything together cartoons now wait is that real or is that just a cartoon i think that's real i think elephants being scared of mice yeah do elephants like peanuts i'm gonna need video proof of peanuts are too small for elephants aren't they well they don't eat what that's what they didn't wouldn't like peanuts but isn't that a trope that elephants

like peanuts it is where did that come from circus that's 100 percent thing barnum and bailey yeah yeah because i feel like our peanuts are tiny though you're right there brandon that like one cartoon made in the 1940s could convince us of anything yeah they set the template how we live life yeah yeah like if you have an elephant problem just get a mouse boom done there it is out of the house get that elephant out of your house and then you get a mice problem yeah you get a cat yep and you have a cat problem you get a dog you got a dog problem uh-oh no problem then you have a michael vick problem roadrunners really came out good in that whole Uh-oh. Get Michael Vick. You go to Acme, you go to Acme. Michael Vick. Yeah, Michael Vick. No problem.

They have a Michael Vick problem. Roadrunners really came out good in that whole thing. Oh, yeah. Smart and quick. Yeah, because they're nothing. Roadrunners are nothing. Are they dummy? Yeah, they're kind of pussies, too, in real life.

Yeah, they're not great. I don't think they're big. Where are roadrunners? Where are they? Like Arizona? They're certainly not cunning like this one was and fast. Was he cunning or was he just fast? He was faster than a falling ant.

Sometimes he would just not run where the coyote wanted him to. Sometimes he'd run through the wall. I want to trick a roadrunner, a real one, into running into a painted tunnel on a wall. Or just White Sox Dave. I could easily get White Sox Dave with that. That was also your plan to trap World of T-Shirts at one point. Paint a ton on a wall?

Yeah. I was on a flight with World of T-Shirts recently. I still can't. Yeah, wow. Really? Yeah, it was an experience. That's incredible. Tell us, did you talk to him?

Ryan, we've been told that the hay needs to be spread out. Yeah. I guess it's an issue in the back. You're inviting rats. Rats and also, like, fires. And mold. I'll give you my credit card.

We don't do it today, but, like, a rake, and we'll just spread it out. Okay. All right. Thank you, Ryan. World of T-shirts is not afraid. He doesn't think it's possible to die in a plane crash. Yeah. I was there while he was, I guess, working out this theory with a flight attendant.

Yeah. I was not happy to be part of the conversation. I can't believe you were on a flight with him. He was on a first class to Indianapolis, and I was like, did he have a better schedule? No, we were coming home. I was coming home. Why were you with him? I was in Arkansas.

I'd gone hunting with Sidney, and I had a layover in Charlotte, I think, and then he was on my second leg. I thought you were kidding. No, I was. In the video, I thought you were joking like you were the real fat guy next to him. No, I mean the background of it. You were in the other background. I mean, no way.

On his TikTok, yeah. Because I was texting Nick and KB, and I was like. Did you hear him, like, ordering drinks? I heard him being very, very much annoying a flight attendant. And I was like – I, like, looked back, and he wasn't wearing his captain's hat, but I was like, that dude looks a lot like Royal T-shirts. So I asked them where he was. Oh, fuck yes.

Oh, my God. Sorry, Fidel Beret. Finish your story. No, that's it. It was just him continuously asking a flight attendant what brace for impact means okay that makes sense but we're explaining it's put it through your put your leg on your knees and now he has a theory where that will that's just to kill you quicker he says they will tell you to brace for impact so you stiffen up and you'll like break your neck so you can't sue the airline he said if you relax and put your seat back because they tell you to put your seat up, you'll live.

Oh, oh, kind of hip, kind of hip to it. I mean, it's kind of a repurposing of Tyler Durden with the oxygen. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's to relax you. Yeah. So you can die peacefully. Morrow's here. Our guy Morrow. Let me do an ad real quick and then we'll get Morrow going.

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All right, Mauro's here. Mauro. Mauro. So, John, you weren't here uh for we had jake january so the first first week of january we had a different magician every day come in moro was by far and away the best and we figured we'd end jake january with moro coming back so he's back how are you doing moro should we show fights the shot? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

By the way, representing. Oh, yeah. Let me get a picture. All right. That was a phrase that Morrow said that no one in the English language has ever said. Would it be gangster if we scored a shot? If we scored a shot. Heidelberg, I'm glad you think it would be gangster.

It would have been cool if I would have actually scored a shot. Yeah, yeah. All right. So, Morrow, where do you want to set up? So I'm glad you think it would be gangster. It would have been cool if I would have actually scored a shot. Yeah, yeah. Alright, so Mauro, where do you want to set up? So, I'm all set up. Okay. I have a couple things prepared. The mic's fucked. His mic's fucked a little. Oh, wait. Here's the shot.

Have a great day, man. Steve, will you give him a tour? Yeah, give him a tour of the office. What a success. Give him some merch, too. Yeah. Yeah, give him a tour of the office. What a success. Yeah Oh my god There's no way gangster. Yeah, you gotta try it right beyond gangster Some big G stuff. Oh, he's all about what if he fucking dunks? He probably

What the fuck? I'm going to be like, look, he's human. Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Yeah, if he misses, we don't have to stone him.

If this mother... No way. He's human. Yes, he's human. He's immortal. Not quite. I would have freaked out. I would have freaked out

After he blew our mind with all these tricks Watching it back to I don't think anyone's ever scored from that part of the black backboard. No Something's amiss. I don't know what happened. I just went in. The stars aligned. All right, so, Morrow, let's get it going. Let's do it. So, yeah, so I was thinking about doing, like, a couple. Oh, it's still fucked up, this mic. Should we stop and do the stiff blow on it?

Yeah, Kyle, you want to run a race? Is that better? So it's like this? That does sound better. Yeah. Does it sound better? Can you hear it? It's still cutting out.

Hold on. We have someone coming in. Testing, testing. Doug's here. Doug's here. Let Doug do it. Doug, Doug, Doug. That's white Doug.

Fucking Doug. Doug. Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. I was feeling it. Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. I was feeling it. Doug, Doug, Doug.

Doug, Doug, Doug. Can you hear it? Doug. Lower down. Doug, Doug, Doug. Put it on his blazer. Put it on his blazer. Blazer works.

Put it on his lapel. Morrow is also going to be, we're sold out, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Laugh Factory, PFT is doing hosting, comedians, and Morrow is going to be we're sold out right yeah oh yeah laugh factory PFT is doing hosting comedians and Morrow's going to be there and I think Hank's doing 15 minutes yeah

how's Hank doing with that with his very bad very bad we met him at yesterday morning is it better can you hear me oh yeah crystal there we go okay all right fun awesome so think about fucking damn it dog put it in your front pocket.

Put it in your front pocket. Pack in the back of your front pocket. We're actually doing a trick on you. Moving it forward should certainly fix it. How can we get the guy to have no sound? All right, here we go. Is that good? Oh, yeah.

Well, we'll see. We'll see. I'm not going to say yes yet. Hold on. Everything good? Everything's good so far. All right, fine. Let's try it.

Oh, yeah. Okay. We're good. I was thinking about starting off with a couple warm-up tricks I wanted to warm up tricks then I have a little surprise for you guys and then We'll end off with the kissing trick and something big that I've never done. Oh, we are doing the kissing Yeah, I forgot we agreed to do the wheel for the kissing trick. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun All right, so we got a little warm-up.up. You can see this is an ordinary deck of cards.

Can you verify that? Yep. I'm going to show the camera. Which way? Which camera? That one right here. This one right here? Yeah.

All right. You can see ordinary cards, whatever, no particular order. We'll cut the cards. Can you do me a favor and say stop whenever you want? Stop. Right here? That's what God means. Take the card, look at it, show everyone but me.

He actually knew when to stop. That's great. All right. Hold on. All right. Show everyone about me. Yeah, he actually knew when to stop It's great. All right. All right show everyone about me got it Luke camera show the camera. I'm looking away hold on hold on marks on the way Okay, all right, all right, awesome all way to do is just slide in the middle every one wherever anyway Alright, and then all we're gonna do is take the deck of cards. We're gonna put it straight back in the middle wherever you want. Wherever? Anywhere you want. All right, and then all we're gonna do is take the deck of cards, we're gonna put it straight back in the box.

We're not gonna shuffle it, we're not gonna do anything. Now, don't try this at home. Actually, whatever, who cares? I'm gonna take the lighter, then we'll burn the box. Watch the hay. Yeah, watch the hay, all of a sudden, boom. See, I actually burnt the box. Yeah, yeah. Can you feel that?

It's actually hot. You burnt the box. Yeah, real. All right, but it didn I actually burnt the box. You feel that? I actually burnt the box. Yeah, real. All right, but it didn't go through the box. It didn't burn the back cards. See that? All the cards are still regular, right? Except for one card is burned somewhere in the middle.

What the fuck? There's one card that's burned. What was your card? Say it aloud. What was your card? It was a Jack of Clubs. Jack of Clubs? Yeah, Jack of Clubs. Check it.

Is that the Jack of Clubs? It's the Jack of Motherfuckers. We got the burned Jack of clubs? Yeah, jack of clubs Check it, is that the jack of clubs? It's the jack of motherfucking We got the burn jack of clubs Oh, wow God dang Yes Moral Moral

Gangster Thank you, thank you Oh, man All right I got another warm-up one This one's something I did special For Big Cat's birthday Okay

It's a happy birthday, Big Cat, by the way Thank you, thank you All right It sucks you have to do the hey thing, but Yeah, yeah, no, it was fun Just the boys all right so we got everyone involved before the show um this is a prediction okay we're gonna leave this over here this is a prediction all right i'm so nervous about magic what we got what we got everyone over here is we asked everyone before the show all your a of your employees, to if they had an unlimited budget,

what would they get you for a gift for your birthday? Okay. Okay. And can one of you come on up and just verify that these are all different? All right, and you can read some of them out loud. You can read some of them out loud, just here. So we have like over here, we have like-

Bear's Super Bowl. A winning future. Okay. And just fold them and put them in there. Yeah, you got like, over here, we have, like, a winning future. Just fold them and put them in there. Yeah, you got, like, the point is just verify they're all different. But basically, I should have said this before, but whenever you pick out, they're going to buy you. Okay, yeah, okay, I like this.

I'm supposed to be pointing out that all these are different. We're getting a lot of Bears Super Bowls. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. It's fine if lot of Bears Super Bowls. Yeah. Quarterback. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. It's fine if you got doubles. It's fine if you got doubles. Okay.

It's their suggestion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no way I could know what they were going to write. Yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah, okay. Fine. It is different.

That was like the one. There was one guy. No, no. I'm just kidding. Whatever you pick out, I'm going to buy you. Okay, nice. All right, sounds good. There's one guy last night who just kept on spamming the chat,

and they were like, when is Big Cat going to dress up? Because I was in a cab. Oh. That would cut deep. As a matter of fact, I already bought you the gift that you're going to pick. Oh. And it's in there. So Caleb Williams is in there.

Find out. Okay. Pick it. All right, but no cheating, no cheating. All right. All right. What I want you to do is just reach in and pull out one only one got one yep all right read it out loud what'd you get tell me something lamborghini cologne you got a cologne cologne cologne oh my god i was nervous

i was reading some of these well you could open it open it. I got you a present. It would be pretty crazy if it's a bottle of cologne, correct? Yeah. Yeah. What? Oh, that's cologne-sized. Holy shit, it's Caleb Williams. What the fuck, Mauro? Happy birthday, big cat.

A bottle of Jimmy Choo cologne. It's cologne! That's good. How the fuck? You picked it. Spritz yourself, man. You got it. You blow my mind.

Thank you. I don't know what to say. I also, I know it's Chuck's birthday as well who's here. Yeah, yeah. The other guys in Arizona. If I got Chuck a birthday present as well, if he wants to come on out, I'll just give it to him. Yell for Chuck. Hey, Chuck.

Chuck. You're going to be pissed if his is way better? Yeah. He gets Caleb. How did you have a – because I participated in that. I wrote down a quarterback. You picked it. To pull out cologne on what is largely quarterbacks in Super Bowls is tough.

It's crazy. It's fucking crazy. You can find out who wrote it in your employee. Is it Jerry? That does sound like what Jerry would have written. Holy shit. It's fucking crazy. You can find out who wrote it from your employee. Jerry? That does sound like what Jerry would have written. Holy shit. Moro.

Are you best friends with all the other guys now? Yeah, just boyd up with everyone. Oh, I love it. So the four jicks that we had come in, they just hang out together now? They do lives. Instagram lives. Oh, really? Yeah. That's a dangerous deal.

You can pull this up. Just don't play yet. I just posted a video on YouTube, which is my surprise for you guys. Oh, okay. If you don't mind playing it. Is that okay? Yeah. Do you want us to play it right now?

Yeah. Oh, okay. While we wait for Chuck, I guess. Yeah. Is he coming? I texted him. He wasn't upstairs. Oh, no.

Okay, so we can play. I can give it to him after. I called him. I'll show you what I got him. I texted him. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here. I got him. He wasn't upstairs this time. Oh, no. Okay, so we can play. I can give it to him after. I called him. I'll show you what I got him. I texted him. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here. I got him a Viking glass.

Whoa. That was pretty cool. Yeah, very cool. Oh, that is very cool. And then I also got him a mug. Glass and a mug? Yeah. That's a good gift.

Here. This is the mug. Look, it says, have a nice day. Yo, check out the hidden message on the bottom. Here he is. He's got a bottom. Oh, here he is. He's got a... Oh, here he is. Here we go, Chuck.

Hey, Chuck. Happy birthday, Chuck. We got you two presents over here. We all got you presents. We got you a Viking glass. Wow. Yeah. I don't know if that's your thing.

And then I got you a mug. It says, have a nice day. That's everyone's thing. Yeah. Yeah. What's the hidden message on the bottom? Yeah, look at it. Oh.

Oh, yeah. The fucking mug. I like it. I like it. It's the hidden message on the bottom? Yeah, look at it. Oh! Oh! The fucking bird! I like it. I like it. It's a funky mug. Happy birthday. Oh, that wasn't a trick.

While I was at GIFS, I saw this and I had to get this for the show. If you guys ever want to play this on the show, I think it would be awesome. Blackout Tower, yes we will. It's Django, but with like deer or drink. But like funk, like, yeah. Thank you, Mauro. Mauro, you're the man. These aren't even tricks. He's a nice guy.

He's our friend now. This is incredible. So is someone able to pop the video? Did we pop the video? Is this it? Yeah, that's it. Look who it is. It's the Jigs of January.

We got Jacob on stage. Mauro Magic. We're here at Fireste space. We're here at Barstool. Pop it. We're going to blow some people's minds. We're going to have some fun. They took over the Barstool bar. What the fuck? Oh, hell yes.

Oh, shit. And for your next trick... Oh! Shit. I was just saying, for their next trick, the magicians learn how to put their iPhone sideways I mean you've confirmed everything we thought that you just can uh-huh I like this This goes to highlight movie. Yeah, I like thising off. Did Caleb Williams show up in that?

I'm getting pumped. Oh, that one. The ladies are loving it. Yeah. You got the ladies going crazy. Oh. The kiss trick. He gets them to kiss. Love that trick. And the cards swap.

What? Yeah, he's going to do it to us. Moro's just good vibes You're good vibes man He's good vibes Are you boozing with him? You're rallying the whole bar That's just tacos I like the tacos

Needed the scoops Tacos Six of clubs You did the stupid tacos. Six of clubs. S. Oh, it said it on there. No. Yes.

Do you take a drink there? Drink? No, no, it's my drink. Oh, that trick right here. He makes something disappear from his own Instagram You're just blowing people's minds non-stop I wish I could make somebody feel this way Yeah the only way I can do this Is like disappointing someone Like damn

You've made me feel something Love it Subscribe Yeah, the only way I can do this is disappointing someone. Yep. Damn, you've... Like, damn. You've made me feel something. Love it. Awesome. Yes. Subscribe tomorrow. At MoroMagic. Yes. A little thank you for...

Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A bunch of other tricks were done by Jake as well, so yeah. Okay, nice. Nice.

Yeah, shout out Jake. So anything exciting or interesting happen since... Well, I've been getting recognized. Atlanta. This was the most random one I was in the airport Atlanta two different people from two different like I came up to me like one in the line for TSA like the zigzag One guy was like yo hi like high five me from the other side of the line It's like I saw you on the act and then another guy I was I was running late to my my flight and like someone comes

Up to me and goes yo you're on the yak. I took a photo with you You were you dressed like yeah, that's always just like Unless I want to go incognito if I take this off nobody went away right right. Oh here. Right, right. Oh, man. Yeah, no, it's been a fun month. It's been a fun month. That's awesome, dude. I'm so pumped. I'm pumped for tonight. You helped us out a lot.

Yeah. Yes. You set the tone. Yeah, and then tonight, yeah, you're going to do a trick that I heard you've never done before. Never done it before. No, I've done it before, but I've never shot nobody from the Yakis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I'm doing at the end of today, I've never done before. Okay, all right. So we're doing the kiss, and then you're going to do that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I'm doing at the end of today, I've never done before.

Okay, all right. So we're doing the kiss, and then you're going to do that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so we're doing the kiss. TJ, you want to spin to see who has to kiss? My heart's beating out of my chest. Add fights to the wheel. Add Fasoli to the wheel, too.

I'm not kissing Fasoli. I would love to kiss Fasoli. I would love to kiss Fasoli. I'll quit. So you're spinning the wheel? Yeah, we're going to spin the wheel to see who has to kiss. This is wonderful. Yeah.

By the way, while we're waiting, I want to give a thank you and a shout out to Chris Bader, the comedian. Oh, hell yeah. This is the man. He's the one who arranged this and connected me with you guys. So thank you, Chris. I'm going to follow him. And he's actually performing tonight. Yes.

Headliner. On The Laugh Factory. So, yeah. Chris also sent me like 50 pounds of meat for my birthday yesterday. So we have that. What a guy. Nice. Bags of pepperoni and sausages.

Beautiful. Love it. Love it. Nice. Yeah, my sister made the video. Oh. Shout out to my sister in Israel. Okay.

Sister in Israel. All right. Do you have in Israel. Okay. Sister in Israel. All right. Do you have the wheel? Okay. So first two names. Yeah. You want to get it, John? Are you trying to get it?

Yeah, he wants to get it. Come on, dude. When I kissed PFT last night, I realized. Sorry, Barb. People are like, this is nothing. I've seen him kiss Brandon like six times. And I was like, oh, yeah, I realized Sorry, Barb. People are like, this is nothing. I've seen him kiss Brandon like six times. And I was like, oh yeah, I have. Oh, and up we go.

Alright, two days in a row. Two days in a row. That means they cancel out. Yeah. Trust me. As long as you have an even number of guy kisses, they cancel out. And mook.

Come here. Alright. As long as you have an even number of guy kisses, they cancel out. And Mook. Come here. Way out of your league, Mook. All right, guys. Ready? Yeah. Okay. We got the four of diamonds.

I don't know where the camera is. All right. Can you just sign it? Yeah. Mook, are you going to make Dan bend down to kiss you? That's a power move. Do a Spider-Man kiss. Come down here and kiss me. Sign this card?

Yeah. Okay. All right, we got the four diamonds with both their signatures. Can you see that? All right, we're going to take the four diamonds. All right, we're going to fold it in half. We're going to fold it into our quarter. We're going to fold it into a little piece.

All right, big guy, you got the honors. Can you bite on it? Keep it in your teeth? I'm gonna take the next card. Okay. We have the jack of diamonds I'm gonna sign this one Luke are you fucking hard? All right, I signed Moshe on the jack of diamonds, right we're We're gonna take the Jack of Diamonds. We're gonna do the same thing We're gonna fold it in half. We're gonna fold it into a quarter and fold a little piece. You're gonna bite on this one All right, so you have My signed card you have your signed card. I put the card all the way in your mouth

And I'll step out of your way so you can do the honors. You have a little peck but make it's obvious that you didn't switch cards Okay Yay, you can now kiss the check the cards wait yeah I want to do one more yeah how in the fuck now you have your card and you have your card thank you how in the like. That's crazy. That's crazy.

Particularly crazy. That was crazy. That was way too soft of a kiss. What do you mean? We kissed like... I started setting something up. Did you want me to tongue you down? Was he too soft for you? Or who was too soft?

Can we replay the kiss? Yeah, but you were soft too. I felt uncomfortable. Are you saying soft as in like light on the touch or soft lips? It was like... It was like... Was there like some... You know what I mean? It was like, it was like, was there like some give? You know what I mean?

What did you want me to do? Grab your face? Wait, ready? Like, was it like? Listen. Oh, wow. That's it. So the lips kind of squeezed together a little bit.

And it was like a sound was made. How is that sus? That was sus. You can't make the noise when you're kissing a guy. Yeah, the noise got, I don't know, maybe. Put him on bass. Put him on bass. Put him on bass. Oh, dude.

Your sideways kiss angle looks skinny. Mook, you look very uncomfortable. I had a card in my mouth. What? Mook, when you're kissing, your jaw is chiseled. Same with big ass. Yeah, wait. Is kissing the best way?

Yeah, you guys look rail thin. That's the best you two have ever looked is when you're kissing. Look at the jaws. Look at the jaws. That's the best you two have ever looked is when you're kissing. Look at the jaws. Look at the jaws. That's two skinny guys. That should be on your dating profile. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you want me to give you a tongue bath? No, but I think you puckered your lips. Oh, you got to pucker. I puckered. All the activity was yours. I feel like he was still in there. Yeah.

Kyle, you're never going to beat the straight allegations. You did not look at all. You are completely disinterested. I don't know what I was doing. He can't see his boy Mook get kissed. Titus looked away too. Titus was looking at the screen. No, I definitely wasn't.

I was looking away. Come on. Magic kiss. Magic kiss. Whose kiss was better, mine or PFT's? I think yours. I think yours was more sensual. It's the rush of a new kiss.

A new set of lips. I can't turn it off. I'm sorry. I'm just kissing my boys every day. All right, so you got the last trick? Ready? Yeah. So ready.

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IHateMook.com. It's the comment section. God damn it Fuck a mook Kate will be back soon You had a banger When we started the show What was it?

I can't remember You had a banger You just need to bleed again You had a banger What was the banger? I get death threats In my DMs every day now Improv

Improv Improv I don't know that Pansexual or Wayne Brady's that's just improv. That was a banger. Yeah. Good sketch.

Yeah. Come on. Ready? Yeah. All right, let's check. I've never performed before. Okay, I'm nervous for you. Are you nervous?

No. Okay. Are you doing it on someone? Yeah, we're going to do this on someone. I need one right there. Brandon. Brandon.

All right, Brandon. Am I standing or sitting? You don't have to. It doesn't matter. All right. He's going to choose sitting. I have a special. Wait, stand because then they can see it. Where I standing or sitting? You don't have to. It doesn't matter. All right. He's going to choose sitting. I have a special. Wait, stand because then they can see it.

Where are we doing this? Over here? Yeah, right in the middle. Brandon, your hair looks great. All right. So I have a blank deck of cards over here. Yes. And I made a list on it.

Each card, I wrote on it a celebrity that I would love to meet. Okay. All right. And the point is it's all different. We'll go through a couple of them. So you have like Theo Vaughn, obviously I'd love to be on this podcast. Simon Cowell, AGT. Alright? You have Andrew Schultz, flagrant, I mean great. Dave Portnoy, of course.

Alright? The point is that they're all different. Alright? Okay, what I want you to do is I just want you to whenever you want, I'll go slow so there's no force. You can just touch the back of any card. Just put your finger on it. Right there, this one right here? You sure? I'm sure. Okay, what I want you to do is I just want you to, whenever you want, I'll go slow. There's no force. You can just touch the back of any card. Just put your finger on it. Right there, this one right here? You sure?

I'm sure. Okay, take it. Okay. Don't even show it to anyone. Just, all right. See it? All right. I want you to say it out loud for the first time.

What's the celebrity you picked? Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Monster pick. Joe Rogan. Monster pick. I would love to play in pool. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. Monster pick. Joe Rogan. Monster pick. I would love to play in pool.

Oh, yeah. If anyone can make that happen. Yeah, John Morrow's a pool shark, too. Dude, let's play some pool, Joe Rogan. If you're up for it. I feel like that goes very handy. Yeah. I had this board sitting here the entire time.

I have not touched it. Yeah. I made a prediction before the show on this board. Would it be crazy if I predicted Joe Rogan? Quite. I would say it's pretty crazy. Pretty gangster? Pretty gangster. All right, let's just on this board. Would it be crazy if I predicted Joe Rogan? Quite. I would say it's pretty crazy. Pretty gangster? Pretty gangster.

All right, let's just rip this off. And, of course, where is he? I wrote Joe Rogan. There we go, everyone. Thank you. Wow. That was good. All right.

Yeah. He did it. Okay, all right. See, I wrote actually everything here in two different kinds of markers. For some of them, let's take messy, for example. I wrote it in erasable ink. Andrew Schultz, erasable ink.

Right? Adam Sandler, erasable ink. Joe Rogan is the only one I wrote in Sharpie. You can try to erase it. Go. Erase Joe, Brandon. Oh, no. Does Sharpie. You can try to erase it. Go. Erase Joe, Brandon. Oh, no. Does Sharpie erase on boards?

No. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. See what I did was I wrote certain letters. You got me.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. You got me. To expel Joe Rogan. I thought you goofed. You did it. I thought you goofed. You did it again. I was about to be so disheartened. Oh, my God. You animal.

He was looking at me. I was like, do I need to give him an out? Yeah. Oh, my God. That was saturated. Holy shit. That's how it's portrayed. And you can actually verify. Oh, yeah. That is printed on there. Yep. And you can see his pic. That was... Holy shit. That was great. You can actually verify.

Oh, yeah. That is printed on there. Yep. And you can see his pic. Yep. Joe Rogan. Good fucking trick. My God.

Thank you. That was awesome. I know they're setting up. Can I request to run the gauntlet? Yes. I have my sneakers. I'm not claiming to be good at this. I just would love to do it.

Oh, shit. The hoops are up. Yeah. Can we put it down? Or he comes back. They're doing some work on something that's going live at 2 o'clock. We're doing handball. We got to have Mauro back.

You want to run the gala with no hoop? No, you got to do the hoop. Yeah. All right. You're going to have to come back. You're going to come back. All right. Wait, Paige, we can't put the hoops down for one second, can we?

Oh, yeah. All right. All yeah. All right. Let's go, Mauro. I want him to get this in 12 seconds. By the way, full disclosure, I'm just up for it. I love a good challenge. Yeah. I'm not claiming to be good at this.

Do I have to explain it to you? You know everything? I know everything. I'm most nervous about the questions. All right, yeah. Come down to that. Brandon will help you walk you through as we go. And then take his seat when you come in here.

Sounds good. Fights, you're here tomorrow and Friday, right? Yes. All right, you'll do it tomorrow. What are you? Yeah, never mind. What? No, I was going to tell him to sit in Brandon's seat.

Oh, yeah, when you come back, sit in Brandon's seat so you can see. Okay. Do you have good eyesight? Thank God. Okay, all right. Yeah. Because Arian yesterday sat down. He's like, I can't see anything. We should have good eyesight? Thank God. Okay, all right. Yeah. Because Arian yesterday sat down. He's like, I can't see anything.

We should have told us that before. Yeah. Malicek, let's go. I'm going to come down to that. If I don't know the question. Redemption time. I don't know if this angle, if you could see from this angle better. I don't know.

By the way, if you want to show the court, TJ, we're setting up a professional handball team is here today. So at 2 o'clock, we're going to go live playing handball. And handball is the sport that we've mocked a lot. They don't look happy out there. No, they're not. Did you see the glare you got from those boys? Yeah, no, they don't like me.

I never said I'd be good at handball. I said that if Patrick Holmes and Josh Allen played handball, we'd win every title. I think that's reasonable. Do you think it's a fair take? But you said more than that. You said they would they would master it in days yeah less than a month easy okay easy you don't think so well i think titus said the same right yeah uh yeah yeah i'm with you i think this isn't crazy i don't i don't know handball that well but that's people don't like you making fun of their sport they just don't like it uh quick plug i'm out friday okay uh me and sass will be in houston

at the houston improv friday saturday love that uh friday saturday tickets are moving so please buy them friday i'll be in and out because chris berman's coming to the office. Whoa. He's going to announce some pickup hoops in the afternoon. That's crazy. Yeah, the text I got was so Chris Berman. He's like, I'm going to get there at noon. We'll have some lunch. I'll play a few holes at Pebble Beach. We'll do the podcast.

Maybe do some basketball. You had said that earlier. And I thought he was calling it remotely from Pebble Beach. He's going to play Pebble Beach on the— He's coming in. He's going to land at, like, noon, and he's leaving at, like, 5. He's going to do some, yeah, Pebble Beach, chop it up with the boys, the Schwarm. The baseball video you guys have coming out is awesome.

Yeah. So you did the announcing? Yeah. Joe Buck and Nick Trani. I never thought those two would be on a call together. No way. It was a matter of time. It was a fucking matter of time.

What's the video? PFT pitching against UIC Baseball. We did a fantasy league this summer that was awesome. It was just you had to pick one position or every single position, so nine players, and the only stat was home runs, which is great. And then the loser had to pitch against the college baseball can pft throw he's a rugby guy but can you throw tune in tune in i caught and it was that's not fun uh they had to do some serious editing because you were huffing and puffing oh time big time the whole time asking you dude i

just well i kept on like he would throw it in the dirt, then I'd have to go get the ball. Oh, yeah. I'm also scared of taking one off the face. What? I would think having kids is a good practice for that. Always kind of that level. Get down and go get stuff.

No, dude, I don't know. I tell them to get stuff. They're all about. Yeah, you get it. He Venmo's Lucas and Ryan. Yeah. My son needs a yogurt. It's in my house. Alright, ready? While we're

plugging, there's 2,700 people in the Yak Discord. Nice. Keep joining that. Links in the chat. Love it. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, I'll join and yuck it up there, too. I'm in the anus one, but I don't know how to switch. Yeah, Brandon will help you. Hey. No, no, don't worry about it. We're going to be gangster.

Don't worry about it. Alright, hold on. Wait, no, don't worry about it. Who wouldn't be gangster? Just 10 seconds. Don't worry about it. Give it your all. All right, hold on. Wait, put the bag down. Yeah, yeah. He can do one more trick for you. Yeah, yeah. Come sit down, Arian.

Sit in that seat. Are you kinda? Hell yeah. All right, I'll catch up. It does seem a little far. All right, TJ, let me know when you're ready. I'm ready. Three.

Wait, Brandon. All right, good. Three, two, one, go. Lefty. I had accuracy accuracy pick up a couple more and accuracy can kick pick up a few oh no it's might ruin the magic like now Oh, no more. Use your other hand, B. There we go. Yes. All right.

Now it's set. Oh, he's fast as fuck. Oh, my God. Oh, it went nowhere. He's fast as fuck. Oh, here he goes. Set. Set. Oh, goal.

Now it's set. Look how speedy he is. He's so fast. Okay. Oh. Oh. so fast. Okay. Oh. One arm. Oh.

Okay. Son, you should pick up magic. Oh, he got it. He got it. He held the bat like a wand. Yeah. You know you got to go into magic. Shuck that ball.

Wingardium levios for that ball out of here. Oh, shit! Alright. Gangster. Okay. Gangster. He loves the glass. He loves the glass. He loves. His follow through doesn't really match the release.

Yeah, well, he is a magician. He's a magician. I like the music. Yeah, well, he is a magician. He's a magician. Morrow's going to be used. Magician ambiance. Oh, no. Take your time, dawg. Take your time. Spread them fingers.

Oh, no. Is he running out of steam? He might be running out of steam. There you go. He's better at half court. Do it for the Jicks. He's way better at half court. Come on, Morrow.

You got this. There. Oh, God. Oh. Oh. There we go. Oh, all right, all right, all right. Oh, he's just taking...

Oh! The Bluntman play. Is he going to keep doing it? I think he's going to push it. Oh. That would have been awesome. Oh. Oh. That would have been awesome. Oh. Under three is what we want.

Shit. Regardless, he'll be the leader in top half percent. Yep, there we go. Get in here. Get in here. Get in here. Pull it up. All right.

Ten states bordering Mississippi River. I don't know. Netflix or some movies. Bar mitzvah thing. I don't know. Netflix or some movies. Bar Mitzvah thing. Won't go to your Bar Mitzvah. Okay. Try that, yeah. Six piece.

Ain't no way. Oh, my God. This is so good. Five stars for the Dream Team. LeBron James. There we go. Big 90s basketball. Michael Jordan.

There we go. Shaq. No, no, no. 13 elements on the periodic table with one letter, H. Hydrogen. Yes. Oxygen. Three Pokemon EV can evolve into?

Gen 1. Six pizza sauces, regular. Regular. Show me regular. That's a New York thing. Marinara, I don't know. Yeah. Spicy.

You can get the states bordering Mississippi River. Mississippi River. I mean, there's one in the name. Mississippi. Yeah. There we go. He's cooking. Where's Mississippi on the map?

It's above the middle. How many more? Meemaw the Baker. Full Nets team names. on the map. What's above me? The middle. How many more? Meemaw the Baker. I don't know any of these things. Full Nets team names. Netflix original movies. Two main restaurants in SpongeBob. 50 First Dates.

I don't know. No. Two. Oh, who's the villain in Lion King? Simba. No. Scar. Scar.

What do I say? Scar. What with the scar? Terminator 2. the Terminator? Just rip off like Midwest States. I don't know the villain. Friday the 13th. Mississippi River.

Rip off Midwest States. Midwest States, Michigan, Indiana, Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas. What's above that? I don't know. How many more? We need two more. Two more, two more, two more. Elements, elements.

B, C, N, F. The SpongeBob restaurant. K, element K. Element, you said O already? I don't know. One TV show to introduce hot crazy scale. I feel like you watched that. Three Pokemon Eevee can evolve into?

Firestone, Thunderstone? I don't know. What's C? What element is C? Where Mr. Krabs worked. Crappy Patties? No, where he worked. The restaurant.

The establishment. What state is next to Illinois? Four full team names, the Nets. What is that? I played as their history. Element of C. Brooklyn Nets. C played as their history. Element of C. Brooklyn Nets. C.

Ripoff. C element. C element. It's the most important element of all life. Oxygen, hydrogen. C. It starts with C. Carbon.

Yes. Hey. I told you it was the questions. All right. The questions. It was the questions. What was my time without the questions? You came in here at 2.55.

That's not terrible. This makes the half-court shot more impressive. All the more impressive. Because it proves that you're fast. It proves that that was in fact magic when you hit that half-court shot. I'm a magician. Yeah. I could have done way better than that.

That's all right. Can you do one trick for Arian? I would love to see it. You beat Cam Newton. You beat Cam Newton, Mau That's all right. That's all right. Can you do one trick for Arian? I would love to see it. Yeah. You beat Cam Newton. You beat Cam Newton, Mauro. All right.

One second. One second. That's your trick to beat Cam Newton? Yeah. All right. That's it. The microphone was on. Oh, shit.

My phone. Go ahead. No. Oh, they might have taken it. So he's one above Cam Newton. Oh, Doug's got your microphone, Mauro. That'll never not shock me. So he's one above Cam Newton.

Oh, Doug's got your microphone. That'll never not shock me. Doug's got your microphone. Ooh, just eked out Cam Newton, MVP. Auburn legend. Yes. Cam Newton drops one more spot. Fuck. And as a reminder, Cam Newton was throwing a football.

NFL MVP. Trying to hit a bottle with a football, and we said, you know what, Cam, go on to the next one. Fine, that's close enough. A man who won an MVP for throwing a football, and we said, you know what, Cam, go on to the next one. That's fine. That's close enough. A man who won an MVP for throwing a football. Heisman Trophy as well. Yeah. So, wait, those are the two top hat times because Cam was in one as well.

Yeah. That's the – Yeah, Cam was dressed like a Westboro. Yeah, so we need the top hat top two. It's Morrow and Cam. You're number one in the top hat division. Cam did look like more of a magician than Moro. Yeah.

I mean, he was like right next to me. Can you hear me on the mic? You got it now. All right. Can you guys see the table from here? Can you swivel to see the table? Yeah, they got the table. Are you doing a winded trick? You good?

No, no. Give me a sec. Alright. We understand. No, no. That was fun. Listen, I had to try. I had to try. No, of course. I loved it. Credit to you. We love anyone who tries. It's not easy, man. It's not easy. And if you ever meet Cam Newton. Anyone who thinks they're going to come and it's going to be easy, it's not easy. Imagine if he meets Cam Newton and he's like,

oh, I got a better time than you. I'd beat you by one. He's actually lit. I mean, put that in your Twitter profile. You know what I'm saying? I beat Cam Newton in the Yak Challenge. Fuck out of here, Cam. All right, you ready? Let's do it.

Okay, stand up. Oh, okay. All right, I have a poker chip here. I see that. From whatever. Poker. I don't know if we're sitting on. Arian, stand up.

I'm watching the camera right there. On the other side. Stand on the side. Stand on the other side. Yeah, yeah. Right there. That's perfect. We'll leave with that. Yeah. Whatever Yeah, okay regular dicker Kurtz Alright we'll shuffle it up. We'll do casino style shuffles very insensitive for riffle followed by a strip cut magic trick maddie I got followed by another riffle and Then then they all obviously end up with a casino cut all right say stop whenever you want Don't pull him. Stop. Oh, it's Mitzi. It's Mitzi.

It's Mitzi. It's hard. It's hard. You get a pass. All right, here. How about this? All right, you ready? Why is that, KB?

No, it's because of the trick. All right, say stop. Oh, my God. You have to say stop or something. All right, take the card. It's stressing me out. Yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter. Look at it. Show everyone. Don't show me. You have to say stop or something. Take the card. Look at it. Show everyone. Don't show me. You like it?

Yeah, show the camera right there. Fine, fine. Just stick it in wherever you want. How about this? Take a good look. Mix it up. I'm just out of breath. Yeah, mix it up. However you want. You could cut him. You could smush him around the table. You could move this. It's my magic juice. We could cut him, we could smush him around the table. How we do is we move his face.

Oh, that's my magic juice. All right. I'm going to do one more. Why you so bad at me? I don't know why I feel like I'm in a rush now, because I just ran. No, no, we're challenging you. I can't sleep, man.

Ready? Okay, does anyone here know we're in the deck? Your card is? Do you know where it is? No, I don't even know where it is card is? Do you know where it is? No, I don't even know where it is. Do any of you know where it is? No, sir.

I don't think so. I'm going to take this poker chip. I'm going to move very slowly across. Whenever you say stop, I'm going to drop it. One of the cards that lands on it is going to be your card. Love that. So whenever you want, I'll go nice and slow. Patient.

Yeah, for sure. That's good. Right here? Yeah, stop. You sure? I know, but... All right, you want to move it? No. I'll move it if you want. Arian, make it your mind map. All right. That's good. Right here? Yeah, stop. You sure? I know, but...

Alright, you want to move it? No. I'll move it if you want. Arian, make it your mind map. Alright. You can hold the cards. It's not touching. It's not touching these.

It wasn't. It was touching that. We'll leave that. Alright, stop touching these. We're going to narrow this down to one card, okay? Okay. One of you say stop, and I'm going to drop it, and the Pokétrip's going to be your card. Okay, stop.

Right here? You sure? Yeah, no, but yeah. You want me to keep it there? No, just do your to keep it okay how crazy would it be if underneath the poker table knows you're here okay and a little poker to be seen as your card this is your card haha oh yeah under the poker chip it said your card I don't want to touch it. That's not my card. Let me see.

Uh-uh. Look, look. Under the poker chip is your card. That's fucked. Oh! Do it! Bang! Let's see it. There it is.

Hey! Through the diamonds. Through the diamonds! You can check that. Moro's the best The misdirection Shout out to Moro Oh my god I thought that one

Was a true bot I thought We got a bot Unbelievable Thank you Moro Thank you Arian He's good That's it

Alright man Y'all be easy Alright Alright Well Moro He's good. He's good. All right, man. Y'all be... All right. All right. Well, Moro, thank you for everything, man. Thank you, guys. I really, really,

really appreciate it. You'll be back. Don't worry. Anytime you have a new big trick, bring it back to us. Yep, sounds good. Seriously, we'll take it anytime. Are you performing on stage tonight?

Tonight, yeah. Fuck yeah. It's going to be fun. Happy birthday again. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you for the cologne. Pleasure to meet you, dude. Yes, everyone go follow that.

Thank you, everyone. Appreciate it. Bye, Mauro. Thank you, guys. That will not be the last we see of Mauro. No, I thought that was a real fuck up. Me too. Mauro.

You're really good at the misdirections. Can you be booked for private gigs if someone wants to? Of course. DM me. Via your Instagram? Yeah, whatever. Incredible. I'm like soloing it right now, so if anyone has suggestions,

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It's awesome. Can I borrow you guys' shirts? Yeah, let's sign it. Yeah, let's do it. Are there two? Why does this feel like a trick? Yeah. We're going to sign our own shirts.

This is going to be tattooed on your body. Yeah. My own signature tattooed on me. You go home tonight to shower, and you're like, what the hell? Where did that come from? Arian actively trying to sabotage the trade. That's why I thought for sure it was an actual bot. I think Arian has like anger towards

Magician. Yeah. He's the worst Magician's assistant in Mincy. Yeah, he was. Yeah. Because he was hostile. Mincy was trying to help. He just couldn't. Yeah. And Arian was like, I will fuck this up. I will find a way. I swear to fucking God. You will not be way. I swear to fucking God.

You will not be doing magic in front of me today. The handball guys are actually warming up. I've been paying attention to them. No game. They are not smiling at all. They're very serious. No, they're mad. They're mad.

They do not like me. You just heard that. He just kind of gave You just heard that I did in full disclosure In full disclosure When I went to take a piss There was a group of them and I was like You guys ready to play your little game What if you guys win by like What if you guys win by like 50

Oh that'd be so funny By the way Speaking of games What if you guys win by like 50? Oh, that'd be so funny. By the way, speaking of games, we have reached out to the U.S. goalball team. Yeah. And they're coming to the office with the team in April. I can't wait. So we're going to play goalball with the actual U.S. They're setting up the legit. Yeah, Paralympic team.

Yeah. Goalball is blind, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we're going gonna be doing that in April I'm so excited it's gonna be incredible goalball they send me like a

link to get like official stuff I think I believe when I was talking to me said it's three on three and the goals are like much obviously yeah like did they send links that are the goals are not $5,000 they from first look it was very reasonably priced okay good then I'll buy them okay cool Did they send links that the goals are not $5,000? From first look, it was very reasonably priced.

Okay, good. Then I'll buy them. Okay, cool. So the team is coming here. Team is coming here. End of April. Mid-April. And we're going to do goalball. And it's a hell of a sport.

Hell of a sport. We'll play some more. I'm going to get the goals, so we'll play some more before they get here. Do they do Olympics? Paralympics? Yeah in Paris this year Paralympics Oh they're

Yeah they're training for Paris This is the US team That's training for Paris They train in Fort Wayne What if we beat them? Well that one I feel like we could Like they're

You're undefeated Yeah Kyle and I could beat them We just beat them Hey yeah Muro Wait did Brandon go big Off the body? Yeah he did God damn it Why. Hey, did Brandon go big off the body? Yeah, he did.

God damn it. Why were y'all just signing on the body? The body was kind of cool. It looked like tattoos. It was like tatted up. Yeah, but you can't see the signatures on it. He wore it on the shirt sign. All right.

I think he would argue that I did it right. You guys did it wrong. No, I'm not bad. Fuck. So, yeah, Morrow's a legend. He will be back. We will have Morrow back. Wait, the handball guys are getting in, like, little short shorts and stuff.

Do I not understand goalball? Because it feels like you guys would win pretty easily. Why? We're both blind. We're blindfolded. Oh, you're both blind. I see. Oh, my God.

I was like, you guys are really underselling yourselves here. You're just throwing it into the net. You're right, Tom. Chucking balls at blind dudes. We should do one like that. Your version is one. Just one like that. Just to remind them who we are.

We're talking shit. All right, Mauro. Thank you so much, man. We bring the team here. We put on blindfolds. We start the game. We take the blindfolds off. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to cheat for sure. Oh, shit. it's a handball oh shit oh god really setting this shit up yeah these guys have something to prove are you worried they're gonna like come after you like deck you i might just leave she's like i gotta go is there any uh a physicality to handball? Oh, yeah. I think there's checking. Yeah. Checking? For sure.

Is it like that when people say basketball is a contact sport? No, I think it's kind of like basketball. Can we see like craziest handball plays? Yeah, it's like 90s basketball. 90s basketball. Did you see the ones the other day? Mm-mm. I don't think there's hits like hockey, but there's hits.

Yeah. It's not like slam ball where they used to. Where you slam. Slam the ball. Yeah, not like that. These guys are official. They're stretching over there. I think in this one you get hit and then you'll just fall.

The pain will be from falling on the ground after getting hit. Getting kicked into the ground. Yeah, that hurt. Is this a pro team? I think so. I think so. Yeah. Getting kicked into the ground. Yeah, that'd hurt. Is this a pro team? I think so. I think so. Damn. A lot of Buckeye garb, I noticed.

A lot. I think they're from Columbus. They're just a bunch of Ohio State guys. They, like, tie up. Yeah, so it's not that physical. I don't think they're... They're not laying each other out, but they can, like... Like hugging?

They tussle. So you got a cramp this LeBron what did he hurt think he might have called an elbow to the nuts oh yeah I thought it was whether they were really a fightball hits compilation. Oh, great. There's a fights compilation. A fights compilation? Here we go. Handball players lose control. Oh, that hurt. That doesn't look good.

Oh, yeah. Ouchie. But these are all fouls. When players lose control. I think he just lost control of his own body. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Beef. I like the TikToks of them picking out the real sticky balls before practice. Have you seen those, TJ? Yeah, that's been the majority of them. Yeah, that's where they're going. Hank's trying right now to show Hank. Against Malasek, he scored. Hank scored.

Pretty easily. Except there's no goaltender in there right now. I feel like we're going to break something. Yeah. How many steps can you take? No idea. No idea. It's a number of steps without...

Look how sticky these balls are. I think it's like maybe two or three steps and then you have to dribble. Or pass. What's he looking for? Do you think he's saying not sticky enough or too sticky? I don't know. I want to know what he's looking for.

I hope they leave us some balls. These guys are mad, too. These guys are warming up for bad. They're a miserable bunch. That's what the sport is. Yeah, it's just a sport you hate playing. Yeah. You play and you hate it.

Everyone thinks I look like such a doofus out here playing handball. Yeah. Yeah. Travel. Start calling travels on him. You should surprise him and have Josh Allen here. Yeah. He's on our team. That'd be crazy.

Fights. A lot of drama in New York. Oh, yeah. A lot of drama. It's been a hell of a week. It's been a hell of a week. It's been a hell of a week. Yeah, a week and a half. Have you caught any shrapnel?

Have I? I don't think so. I don't think so. It's been a while since you were in. I'm pretty evasive. Fuck you think I'm doing here? I don't think you just care. Also, I genuinely don't think you care.

I really don't care. I mean, really... I don't care. Yeah. But the... I mean, I care. Sure, but not enough... But not enough to get angry about anything. Yeah. That one clip that you guys have on KFC Radio, the full episode is out tomorrow. So everyone tune in.

It's with Kelly and Francis. But Nate being like, I'll take 1% blame. Unbelievable. And then being like, look, that's leadership like, I'll take 1% blame. Unbelievable. And then being like, look, that's leadership. Belly laugh. 1% blame. I want you to take some of that. I took 1% blame.

That's great. And he meant it. I'm just going to start taking 1% blame. I took some blame. Just do that for everything. My hands aren't clean here. 9-11? I'll take one.

1%. 1%. I put my hands up. I got high last night, and I watched that clip like 100 times in a row. You show it, TJ, because it is. You take a little accountability for stirring up the narrative that no one wants to do shit on Fridays. That's the only accountability. I took a 1% blame.

And trumped. Trump card. No, I think. Didn't Kelly say you're such a the only account that I want to take. I took a 1% blame. And trumped. Trump card. No, I think, didn't Kelly say you're such a fucking cunt? I genuinely said that. You're such a fucking cunt, Nate. Oh, man, he's hot.

The earrings being in. The earrings being in. I didn't notice. Wait, the earrings? Yeah. He's got two studs in. Oh, fuck yeah. It's awesome.

He tossed the studs in after Barstool Radio died. Or black studs to the funeral. Are you nervous about Dave, Kirk, and Whitney? No. Why would you be nervous? I think Whitney doesn't know enough about anything in order to get mad about anything. Whitney's one of those guys that Whitney could talk about literally anything. That's true.

And I'll listen and it's funny. Yeah. And Kirk is Kirk. He could be in front of a mic also talking about nothing and it'd be, I'm watching. Yeah. And then Dave will just roast people. How long do you think it lasts? I don't know.

Mondays is a crazy day for it, I think. Like getting Whitney and Dave off a beach in the summer? Yeah, I think summer's going to be very touch and go. I think summer's going to be Kirk having to do it himself. That would still be amazing. But that was funny that Whitney, because I was watching Kirk's show when it all was going down, and Whitney just immediately being like, what, 42 weeks? Yes.

He went straight to 42 weeks. He's like, I'm not doing this every week. 42. All right, so you already got like three months off? Wait. Yeah. Yeah, that's 12 weeks. Two and a half.

14 weeks off. Oh, 56. I was thinking they were 52 weeks a year. Yep, and a half. 14 weeks off. Oh, 56. I was thinking they were 52 weeks a year. Yep, you're right. There are 52. Oh, I was wrong. Wait, okay. What's 10 weeks off? Two and a half months.

Two and a half months off, yeah. Oh, 356. Yeah, there it is. With a leap year. That's 365. Fuck! God damn it. Where'd 56 come from?

Lawrence Taylor. That's what it was. That's what you were thinking of. LT. My stupidity just got into your brain. Yeah. That stuff will be forever now. So 10 weeks off.

10 weeks. That's a lot still. That's two and a half months off. Yeah. No. I think it will work. I think it will work as long as it happens. Yeah.

It'll be the biggest show on the planet. Oh, that? Yes. Yeah, yeah. No. There's no doubt it will be a success. I'm saying. That's a funny. It's a funny question. I think it'll work the biggest show on oh that yes yeah yeah no there's no doubt it will be a success i'm saying that's a funny it's a funny quote i think it'll work as long as it happens that is it's like it's a lot of things here it's a very funny way to describe if you can get those

three guys to actually do 42 weeks it will be a monster show yeah yeah but the that's the only limitation the anxiety like of when like dave portnoy show was a thing you like when that was recording you never wanted to get a text on your phone from like austin or something like were you ever on it uh like well not not like in trouble no not in like crosshairs other stuff yeah i remember when i was part-time i would go up to new york to stay with like duke sass and owen and whenever the dave portnoy show came out it was like the state of the union in that apartment it was like let's not like everyone praying that their names weren't called kind of situation it's yeah it's it's true it's it's good though it's good for the office keeps everyone on

their toes yeah yeah again it's that show will feed storylines for the week you know what I mean yes they'll start stuff that then the week becomes its own. It will be its own. What am I thinking of? It's like its own content. All those little fucking aliens, like The Claw. That show is now The Claw. Yeah.

And the entire office is looking up at it. But they wanted to be selected. They did? Yeah. Okay, then the opposite of it. It's the exact. Yeah. It's like Stella and the Rat. Yeah. The, then the opposite of it. It's the exact. Yeah. It's like Stella and the Rat.

Yeah. The claw. Rone does a great one. He does a great claw. He does a great claw. The claw. Do you ever hear of Joel Embiid? Yes.

Oh, no. Has he done that publicly? I was just on TikTok Live. Okay. He was at the game doing it. Okay. Very funny. Can you give it to me?

He does Joel Embiid's African accent. Yeah, no funny what was it can you give it to me he does joe allen beads like the african accent yeah no i know can i give it yeah i can't do that you give it a shot give me a start give me like a sound i don't he would do uh yeah that was good it was like that but with words that was Tim the Tool Man. All right, should we spin our wheel, TJ? Should we get some handball going? Fine, so what brings you to town? We are doing some sketches out here. Nice.

A couple of them. Yeah, and it'll be on the act tomorrow on Friday. Nice. Good luck. Friday. Nice. Nice. All right, so everyone tune in to handball starting in 15 minutes. No idea what to expect. I guess I should be nervous. Who's playing?

I don't know. I might be announcing. I might not be playing. Oh, you can't do that. I don't know what you've been talking. If you told them, are you guys here to play your little game, I feel like you've got to get out there. Yeah, but I'm not going to play the little game.

You're above it. It's a little game. No, I'll probably play. I have to play. All right. Everyone, please subscribe. Join the Discord. Thank you, everyone. Thank you to Morrow. Thank you to John. And right. Everyone, please subscribe. Join the Discord. Thank you, everyone.

Thank you to Mauro. Thank you to John. And we'll see you tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. It's your straws, yeah, silence, hey, for a while, it's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankees flop. It's the act. It's the act. Stool streams YouTube.

I think, well, maybe part of my take YouTube. I'll find the link. I'll put it in here. And Rumble. And everywhere else you watch your streams. Buy shirts. Join the Discord. Love you, bye.