The Yak - Nick Reveals a HORRIFYING Picture of His Legs | The Yak 9-21-23

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Brandon's car is still running...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstool...yak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hey-oh. It's the Yak. Brought to you by... The Big Four. Brought to you by Roback. Yes. It's September, and it's still really hot outside sometimes.
Starting point is 00:00:42 There isn't a better way to spend it than on rowback you guys all know how much we love rowback kyle looking my god my goodness you're the biggest man on earth what the fuck i uh the pump i got after the steven che picture that was anyways it's september's uh summer weather code yak at roback.com 20 off your first purchase through the end of the week r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com 20 off polo shorts what the fuck dude you're a boulder after that photo with you and che oh i gotta yeah i made it. Do you have a dip in? Yes, I was in coffee. Who is he?
Starting point is 00:01:28 What are you doing? I've been zinning for a while now. Okay. You look... What protocol is this? You're like a stagehand. This is, I've been boozing a lot, which is bad, but I've been eating a lot, which makes... Look at your arms, dude. Look at his legs.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Legs are still pretty bad. I've been doing a lot of lunges, which are absolutely atrociously painful. The worst exercise. And I finally started doing calf raises, which they say genetics.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You got it or you don't, but we'll see. Doing them every day. As far as calves go. Yeah. Okay. I need to do something, because I showed it on anus yesterday, but there was a picture of me playing his bat. Yeah. That was your worst pick yet? It's the worst pick yet of legs, and that was most... Legs.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I wouldn't mind seeing that, because I didn't see it. Yeah, I'd like to see it. Looks like an anus this morning. Like a deer on ice not yet like yeah it's bad is it recent or it's like an old pic that surfaced like a month ago very recent yeah i don't really even want to have oh it's bad i'll send it yeah you got it it's like ah fuck i look sick like clamber legs worse like you just ascend it someone just helped you out of a wheelchair and then ran away yeah and i'm like in the process of falling they took yeah like the nelk boys lifted me out of a wheelchair okay they might be worse than clemmer's legs yep yeah really really bad um so the clemmer picture that floats around twitter sometimes is that photoshopped yes okay
Starting point is 00:03:07 i thought so even if that's me playing disney oh is that a little bambi like a deer yeah you're right yeah yeah it's bad and it's like it doesn't taper like they just go it's It's the same size the whole way up. That is the thing. That's what's shocking. That is tough. Arms are right. It does look like... Arms look good. The arms look fine.
Starting point is 00:03:34 But that's fixable. Pants. Yes. Because you're tall. You're a tall guy in pants. Yeah, but it's just like... I said it on the show. It's jarring that that leads up to such a monster cock.
Starting point is 00:03:45 It's like, what the fuck? like what the fuck that would be confusing it makes your dick has to look gigantic no matter what well no it doesn't look like anything because like it's not close definitely girthy or no oh it's not yeah yeah it's like a needle in a needle stack exactly yes how would your dick not be close to anything it's not close to anything saying his legs are so far you know how women they're like it's sexy if a woman has the what is it the figure eight gap the thigh gap the thigh gap yeah his gap is so big no no there's that one subreddit that shows like the light protruding through sundresses and yeah it's a gap yeah he's the acronym yeah but you have that gap though so that's
Starting point is 00:04:25 right but you just seem like a dang but a bit have you ever broken a bone in your legs never never but i should yeah i should often i think i could imagine like what would happen if i had a cast on for like six months what like oh the atrophy would go crazy yeah could it though couldn't could his legs atrophy? I think. Maybe not, yeah. What if they're already at zero? It's bad, man.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And it's super embarrassing. Well. What are you going to do? Pants. What are you going to do? Pants, pants. Yeah. We can't all have everything, Nick.
Starting point is 00:04:59 You're right. I don't know what that means at all. Nice pair of rowback joggers. You won't be able to tell. We need Barstool to sign Dolph Ziggler now that he's a free agent. Okay. I'm glad you were on that. Stop that immediately.
Starting point is 00:05:10 What does that mean? You don't get this. What happened to Dolph? No, he came in this morning and Nick let us know that. WWE had release day today and they released Shelton Benjamin and Dolph Ziggler. Shelton Benjamin was a shocking one too. Dolph Ziggler, I didn't know he was active. He hasn't really been that active.
Starting point is 00:05:23 He should have been. He's still been on contract. But the problem is, I told Nick 30 minutes ago, hey, it's release day, and he didn't know about it, but now he's pulling... No, he came up to me and he said, bad day. And I was just like, well, this could mean a multitude of things. You're you.
Starting point is 00:05:37 But Nick, if you're a wrestling guy, you knew what bad day meant. I didn't know Dolph Ziggler got released. Shelton Benjamin, Dolph Ziggler, Mustafa Ali. Yeah, and he was, something happened there because he was supposed
Starting point is 00:05:47 to fight Dirty Dom. The David Dobrik rapist? What? Huh? Different Dirty Dom. You know what I mean. There's a lot of Dirty Doms
Starting point is 00:05:59 floating around out there. Yeah. Yeah, Dolph Ziggler is a Kent State wrestling alum. Kent State has a shockingly impressive alumni roster. I think that can be said for the entire time. Michael Keaton, Antonio Gates, Julian Edelman. Got to be honest, this isn't that impressive.
Starting point is 00:06:23 No, it's impressive. It's a small. David Letterman's Ball State, right?'t that impressive. No. It's impressive. It's a small... David Letterman's Ball State, right? WVU has nobody. Yeah, you do. No, they've got to have somebody. Who is your top alum? McAfee?
Starting point is 00:06:34 He's the biggest celeb? Probably. He has some more. You got Brad Paisley. No, he didn't go there. Well, he reps you. Kinda. Who does Mississippi State have?
Starting point is 00:06:43 Jack? Jack Grisham? Jack Prescott? Temple haveisham. Dak Prescott. Temple have. Temple has Bill Cosby. Oh, Bill Cosby. He kind of steals the Diplo. That's the only time Brandon's ever high-fived about something involving Temple. Usually
Starting point is 00:06:58 hate those people. Who does IUP have? Mike Ditka. Mike Ditka. Johnny Sins. Johnny Sins Johnny Sins but he went to IUP I'm pretty sure he didn't graduate he didn't graduate
Starting point is 00:07:08 neither did I I always said the guys fuck better than the women there no Steve Harvey's big I don't think I don't think he went Steve Harvey went to Kent State
Starting point is 00:07:16 Steve Harvey went to Kent State oh no no no he's from West Virginia he is yeah but he got like he didn't live there long I don't know I'm gonna get you on this where are we at let's get in there a little bit oh Billy Mays Yeah, but he didn't live there long. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I'm going to get you on this. Where are we at? Let's get in there a little bit. Oh, Billy Mays? Yeah, so I would probably. McAfee, I think, is bigger than Billy Mays. Yeah, McAfee's bigger than anybody on that list. That's tough. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Well, these are all athletes, but still. I didn't know Jeff Hostetler went there. Yeah. Oh,, but still. Yeah. I didn't know Jeff Hostetler went there. Yeah. Oh, Pac-Man Jones. Yeah. Who was that cowgirl with the gun medal or the gold medal? Jenny Thrasher. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:54 First, yeah, she was the- How did you know? Who? She won the U.S. Gold in rifle. Oh, I see. Then she just went back to campus, probably was a- Yeah, Jerry West. Now, rifle's a summer Olympics, but the shooting biathlon's a winter Olympics, right?
Starting point is 00:08:10 So there's gun in both Olympics. Yeah, so West Virginia dominates rifle. It's a big rivalry with Fairbanks. Alaska. Fairbanks. I fucking hate those guys up there. You do. There's blood between you all.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Oh, yeah, I fucking hate hate them do they have like a student section for those matches uh yeah yeah it's just a bunch of dudes like fucking drinking beer shooting guns is that an i would like to see no i don't know yeah what does that look like the gun shooters in college are a lot nerdier than you think they would be you don't want nerdy gun shooters you don't want to be around they're very nerdy gun shooters. You don't want to be around nerdy gun shooters. They're very nerdy gun shooters. They have a lot of them in a wheelchair. They have fupas and stuff. Yeah. A lot of them have fupas? A lot of gun athletes.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Well, yeah, you want a soft body because you need somewhere to rest your elbows. Yeah, fat can help in a lot of ways. Yeah, fat can help in many ways. Not in now. In a gun sense, if you have fat on you, the recoil doesn't hurt as much. More of a cushion. Thank you. Yeah yeah you need to stop defending fat dude you're gonna let yourself slide you've been looking good lately though been slide yeah yeah are you going to grow your hair out uh i'm i don't think management's gonna allow it my wife i don't think i'm going to allow it it's good
Starting point is 00:09:22 to have a wife who still cares. Yeah, it really is. Barely. I like that she's honest because when I met her at the basketball event that we had in Philly, she said, I need to see what he looks like when he's cleaned up. Yeah. So I went and got a haircut because of her. To you? Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Oh. No, that's not exactly what she said. She said it's a Brandon who passed it along to me. Nick would be very handsome If he cleaned up Yeah And that was That kind of hurt me
Starting point is 00:09:48 Yeah I don't know I thought I was cleaned up The thing you said about Yeah yeah You said to her You have big titties To yes
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah Not to her face To her titties To her titties Yeah Oh man You guys were talking about Dol ziggler um i just read something about did you know that nasa funded an experiment on dolphins to try to teach them how to communicate or understand human language so i know that and it ended horribly horribly disastrously whyously. Why? Her name was Margaret. She was the one doing the studies.
Starting point is 00:10:26 She found that the dolphin named Peter was too sexually charged. Sexually charged. So she started masturbating him to get him to cooperate with the language learning.
Starting point is 00:10:42 So he was associating learning. Then the dude funding the experiment was like, let's start giving this dolphin LSD. Then the dolphin killed himself. He asphyxiated himself. How does he take LSD?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Intravenously. Through the bottle nose. I don't know if this is true. So this woman was just... She was getting paid to jerk off a dolphin? She... No one told her to jerk off the dolphin. She did that on her own accord.
Starting point is 00:11:13 She's a scientist. But she decided it's too sexy, so I'm going to jerk it off? The dolphin was trying... It was just constantly trying to fuck. Yeah. Another dolphin. But I don't think jerking it off is the answer.
Starting point is 00:11:23 She found that jerking off the dolphin to completion helped him focus more in class. So where did the LSD come in? The other guy just came in. He was like, I guess the masturbation isn't working. Nothing's really working. The dolphin isn't speaking or understanding our language too well, so let's give him the LSD. Let's light this thing up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:42 So when you say understanding language, you mean further than basic three or four basic commands right you mean just actually i think being able to follow being able to understand yeah just understand not speak it yeah and i may have butchered that but i think i got the gist you got the gist lastly nick already asked it but how how does the dolphin kill itself so dolphins can breathe breathe air, I guess, but not well. So there's a way they can commit suicide. So he just surfaced himself and... Something like that. That's kind of tough.
Starting point is 00:12:13 What if he was just coming up to talk to us? This guy sounds like a villain. Maybe they chose the wrong dolphin. Yeah, this is just one dolphin. So I don't know. Wow. Interesting stuff. And there's currently an englishman who was accused of
Starting point is 00:12:27 jacking off the dolphin but it was the the dolphin who just rested his penis on his hand in the north sea so was it on this show we talked about dolphin pussy what show did we talk about dolphin pussy i guess they're real they're really horny they're hornballs they're yeah they're they're clean looking pussies oh they are really are sleek looking pussies. Oh, they really are sleek-looking pussies, aren't they? Yeah. Rick O'Berry. And dolphins are known to cosby, correct? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Suicide. Oh, yeah, rapey. Yeah, rapey. They can commit suicide. I got a thing. So is there a possibility this woman jerked this dolphin off and then killed it and framed it for suicide? Jerked it off too hard.
Starting point is 00:13:02 A jilted lover? Jerked off to death. Yeah. this is the worst head i've ever gotten uh maybe that was the rumor was the military working dog handlers i don't chaps is that they like jerked off their dogs to build a better relationship with them i don't know if that's true but i swear that was like the big rumor i gotta be honest i didn't realize the i don't know the business of jerking off animals was so thriving. Oh, yeah. Like there's articles.
Starting point is 00:13:28 If you regularly masturbate your canine police dog, you'll have greater control of it. I've heard of affection in canine units between animals and dogs, blah, blah. It's like, that's like, I don't know if that's true, if anybody knows, but that's like a method of getting closer with your dog. Now, don't do that. Yeah. I don't know if that's true if anybody knows but that's like a method of getting closer with your dog now you don't do that yeah I don't know now do you think this woman was going raw dog with the dolphin like with her hand or no she have a device
Starting point is 00:13:53 have devices they probably had for every major role there is a scientist job to jerk them off right like horses like oh mr. hands part two almost happened. Did you guys see that? I saw a horse almost try to mount.
Starting point is 00:14:07 We got tagged in it. I don't know why. Yeah, we did get tagged. Probably because we talk about shit like this. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Me, Brandon, Rudy, Danny Conrad, TJ had a blast before this show today.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Game. Were you doing a game? Yes. Trivia-esque? Hacky sack. We were hacky sack. We were hacking? We were hacking.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Right out there. What was the longest? Like you were doing it back and forth. We weren't going to stop until we all kicked it. And that's fun. Right here. So I was obviously team captain. Not really.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Look at my hand. Yeah, you were. Easel. You're running this. But it's your hacky sack. It's a foot bag. It's your hacky sack. It's just your foot bag from Pugstamp. Oh, now you're this. But it's your hacky sack. It's a foot bag. It's your hacky sack. It's just your foot bag from Puggerstamp.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Oh, no. It's your hacky sack. Shout out Guy from Silicon Valley. Huh? How do you hit that sack with those fucking legs, dude? It's not the leg. It's the foot. Look how easy mine is.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Oh, cool. Danny to me. Nice. Yeah, but it took about seven minutes. Do y'all want to do that on the yak on the yak yakisak i don't know we have enough room we can move that we definitely have a hacky sack but i've been big into um hacky sacking i'm going to post on my close friend's story on instagram every morning i'm gonna have to start doing it too why get my record back i added piper jones to my close friends oh we got to start using that yeah no i don't you do not my cat i hate because this
Starting point is 00:15:33 is why i get fucking roped into shit you got to start posting on there i'll run it for you send me pics i would like to trade cats with the local cat owner Like someone in the office For how long? A day, cat Kate Hello Let's do it Spork Why, do you want to see how the If the other cat appreciates the cat room more? Do you have a spoiled cat?
Starting point is 00:15:53 I don't know I want to see what the difference is I have nothing to compare mine to What I got you arrived But I forgot to bring it in Shit I'm excited Did you not grow up with animals?
Starting point is 00:16:04 Um, no Not like the major, the big two I'm excited. Did you not grow up with animals? No. Not like the major, the big two. I had a rabbit that got depressed and killed itself. No. How? It jumped up intentionally and broke its neck. Rabbits get very depressed. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:16:17 What? I thought they would be happy little things. Yeah, but it was when- Jumped up? When we took him inside for the winter. Speaking of, is there a dog in here? Is that what that noise was? You thought that was what was ringing out?
Starting point is 00:16:30 No, I'm the dog. Oh, I see. It sounded like one. We already got Clifford. Speaking of bunnies, I got a new couch in my apartment. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So Kyle's Dolph Zigg ziggler to dolphin segue was better there one of the notes on the couch that i got on facebook marketplace was my bunny chewed
Starting point is 00:16:54 a part of the couch that was the that's pretty cute yeah that's a good segue i think that was a good segue yeah that was good no no you're good I think a bunny would be a great pet. I think that would be my second choice. Yeah, they're great. I think you just kind of need two. They're very social. Yeah. I built an obstacle course for mine. Gus, really good name for a rabbit, I think.
Starting point is 00:17:15 That is a good name. But I'm at Tractor Supply Plus. They're very fragile. Right next to Lisa's harem. They'll die in a heartbeat. Well, yeah. Well, I guess everybody will Yeah I'd rather
Starting point is 00:17:27 We need to actually Do we have a photo of Mook's new couch? I think the couch is too big It's not too big It's in the kitchen, it's in the living room, it's in your bedroom The couch is I want more couch Impossible
Starting point is 00:17:43 Nah I can make it work. I'm going to send you the side angle and the front angle. Brandon, do you have furniture yet? Not really. I have a couple of rooms full of furniture, and then I have a couple of rooms that just have nothing in it. And I thought about making a ballroom yesterday. A ballroom?
Starting point is 00:17:59 No, no, no. Like a ball pit for dancing? Not a dancing. No, a ballroom. Like a ball pit? My kids have one of those pink balls that bounce really good off walls. Baldine? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Best ball. It was voted best ball. I started bouncing it off the wall, and I was like, this room might just be for the ball. Ah. Oh, that's kind of sick. No, it's Brandon being lazy. You wouldn't come to the ballroom?
Starting point is 00:18:19 That's an empty room, and I'd rather have shit in the room. I think empty room. Hacky sack in a room like that. Empty rooms are... Don't say that much. I was hacky sacking in the kitchen. I think you have to hacky sack in a room like that. I'll say that much. I was hacky sack in the kitchen. That's my way to do it. While the wife's cooking. Although it was awkward that we were out there hacky sack. Look at that. Pretty big. Look at that monster.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It's your entire apartment. Dude, it's perfect. It really is. Wow. Can we zoom in? It's so perfect. Can you open your oven no okay i'm gonna have to cook eggs leaning over the arm of my couch if i ever do but and you're gonna get a tv there right tv coffee table no you're not and i'm gonna get a love seat i might get bleachers in the back um but yeah, that's the mook. Don't do that.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Are you going to hoist that bed? Yeah, wait. Is that where you sleep? Yeah, for now. For now. Figuring it out. What do you mean figure? Where else could it go?
Starting point is 00:19:14 I might loft it. I thought we were getting bigger. You got one more Tetris piece left, and it's not a big piece of fun. I mean, I think I can fit more in there. Where are you going to put like you have to be able to walk around be a pop really? Oh my how many fire hazards is that a pile of clothes in front of the furnace? Yes. Yeah, I don't have drawers
Starting point is 00:19:33 yet. Where is the where's the rest of your clothes? I have a walk-in closet. Okay, the POV. Yeah. So yeah, that's the good job. It is a great couch. Fuck a kitchen, dude. Very comfy.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Where's your dining room table gonna go? Don't need that. Okay. Nice little... I think you... No, we should get one. We could. I mean, we could.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Let's fill you up. I love getting... I love filling. Yeah, right. For me, that's fine. I love how this... You're right under the vent and you have that wisp of hair, dude. You look super saiyan yeah it didn't do anything whatever i'm
Starting point is 00:20:12 pumped about my couch oh ken jack got engaged oh yeah i told him i saw it coming since the first date oh you met them on the first date right yeah? Yeah. I didn't, but they, yeah. I'm not surprised. I want to, I'm hoping to be an usher at that wedding, just because being an usher at a biracial wedding is the easiest thing on earth. I've said it before. It's because you just, you don't have to ask what side. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:43 It is just, yeah, left. It is the easiest gig in the whole world. So hopefully he'll let me usher that. Yeah, Dana Beers, Ken Jack, Donnie just got married. Donnie just got married. I feel like that can't be in a conventional wedding venue. Kent Jack's? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:00 It'll be some sort of pagoda, I'd imagine. Reading. Reading, PA has a great pagoda. Big time. Reading. Reading, PA has a great pagoda. Big time pagoda. Reading, PA has a good pagoda? Huge pagoda. On a hill, right? Yep, great view.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I haven't seen the Reading, PA pagoda. Did your malls have piercing pagodas? Yep. I got my cartilage pierced there. My dad snuck and took me. What's a pagoda? It's like a structure. Is it like a... There it is oh it's like a temple oh yeah did
Starting point is 00:21:28 y'all think that uh reading was when you played monopoly when you were younger you thought it was reading railroad of course i did i think we all did writing i just found out that the monopoly board was based off atlantic city yeah i had the city yeah i didn't know that. Wait, that's in Reading, PA? Yeah. Why? I forget the history behind it, but... I mean, they definitely thought the other side was going to win World War II. Yeah, they were just...
Starting point is 00:21:56 They put their eggs in the other basket. They bet on a loser. Let's get ahead of this. Planning. They're going to love this. When they get here. Reading's like kind of a shithole too it is yeah it is well so we uh Wheeling outside of Wheeling has the palace of gold we took Donnie there and it is very strange why do you have the palace of gold it's the largest population of Hare Krishnas outside of India it's like a huge golden temple in this little village called new vrindaban new vrindaban so in our town our where we live bethlehem is the closest settlement
Starting point is 00:22:30 to it so we're just stop at a gas station in bethlehem it's indians flocking there yeah there's so many yeah i thought y'all just from a small town in west virginia we are but it has all these little right next to new Vrindabond. Of course. Enclaves and stuff. Yeah. There's a lot. It's a spread out city.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Bucks County has it. It's the all cement castle. Yes. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And it was a guy who he got like too many STDs to get married. And he was afraid of fire. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:23:00 It's a matter of fire. How many STDs for what? To get married. How many is too many? I don't know. It was one of the bad ones back then. Fuck, I have four. I can matter of fact, how many STDs for what? To get married. How many is too many? I don't, it was one of the bad ones back then. I have four.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I can't get married. And he was, I don't know. It's an unwritten rule. This is from the tour my mom had. I only have one, but it's AIDS,
Starting point is 00:23:14 but I'm married. And he was afraid of fire. He was super afraid of fire. It's fair. And so he was like, I don't have any ladies. I need a hobby. So he built like
Starting point is 00:23:22 an all cement castle with no wood in it so it could never catch fire. It's the way, I'm probably remembering this tour all wrong. Brutalist? don't have any ladies i need a hobby so he built like an all cement castle with no wood in it so it could never catch fire is the way i'm probably remembering this tour all wrong but that's brutalist cement no no i don't think so cement castle bucks county i don't know my um interesting my apartment in new york city and i there was a refrigerator refrigerator magnet in every apartment and it said it's a fireproof building so if the building's on fire stay in every apartment and it said it's a fireproof building. So if the building's on fire, stay in your apartment. What? Really?
Starting point is 00:23:49 Hmm. Should every building just be fireproof? Would make sense. Yeah. I don't understand. I don't trust that. Also, they're definitely lying. They had to have been. Yeah. Huh. Y'all ever been in a fire or near a fire? I haven't.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I've never been close to having a fire at my house. I've talked about this before, but... You're going to jinx yourself. Drunk teens blew up our shed in our backyard. Yeah, but you lived in fucking... Yeah. A rough neighborhood. Your parents were never paying attention.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Blew it up? Yeah, they... My dad forgot to lock it, and so they doused it in gas. They drenched it in gasoline, and they, like, exploded it in the middle of the night. Did that get arrested? Eventually, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:31 They went through the neighborhood. Yeah, I used to ding-dong ditch, but not blow. No, they blew it up. And then... Ding-dong ditching was fun. A new shed in Lightning blew it up. I never did that. Nothing would have me giggling like a ding-dong ditch.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Yeah. Do you ever have the bomb bags? Yep. The fart ones? No, no. Oh, I was talking about you squeeze the thing, and it starts to expand. Yeah, there's the farts. And then it's detergent bubbles like splash all over people's front doors.
Starting point is 00:24:57 It's like a chemical bomb. Yeah, it's like a little chemical bomb. One of the houses next to me had two giant like Liberty Bells in the front, and we would go ring those, and that was my that was a good prank a wrestler lived there kodiak garcia kodiak garcia yeah that's a great name lots of time with him in my life yeah forgot about him no not nothing against him no thinking about him now amateur wrestler pro wrestling high school teammate two kids because kodiak garcia is a very good pro wrestling name it's a teammate. Okay. Two kids. Because Kodiak Garcia is a very good pro wrestling name. It's a good name.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yeah. He was Native American? He was Mexican. Okay. Kodiak is more of a Native American. Yeah, it is. Hey, yeah! Kodiak! I used to ding-dong-ditch him all
Starting point is 00:25:43 the time. He was a rascal, but a sweetheart. Yeah, yeah. He balanced the two well. He was a charming, charming guy. What was his rascal? How was he a rascal? He got into, he would run with some, run with me, I guess.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Were you a rascal? No. That was even rascally. My car would host the rascal. Yeah, right. You were always driving around younger rascals. They would commit the car crimes while I drove. So I guess I was.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Getting mailboxes and shit like that? Unfortunately, yeah. Looking back, I was like, that was so fucked up. Dude, I hit a mailbox on my way home from baseball practice. We hit our assistant coach's mailbox, and it was snowing out. And we hit it, and then our car got stuck in the snow right in front of the house. And he came out and he was like,
Starting point is 00:26:31 what the fuck are you guys doing? He caught you? He caught us, yeah. Was the mailbox even broken? And I'm just like stalling out trying to drive away. And yeah. Never again.
Starting point is 00:26:41 It's not for guys like us. No, not at all. We did invent a sport where I drove and someone was in the passenger seat, windows down in the autumn and you have to try to catch leaves. Yeah, right. You did invent that. Leaf hunting. Oh, that's really good.
Starting point is 00:26:54 Whoever catches the most wins. Be a bunch of cars playing at once. We also, you invented, we've talked about this a long time ago on the Yak, but you invented. Fallen leaves. You can't, you just pluck it. You got to catch a fallen leaf. Yeah, that's serene. But you also invented the one in the cemetery yeah now that started with my uncle and my dad we would go to my grandpa's grave and they would give us money like the first who would catch who would find the youngest tombstone yeah grave who
Starting point is 00:27:21 youngest tombstone under five and under five minutes it was fucked up yeah and i've talked to your dad about it and he it's he it's true yeah wait you were hunting for like dead babies that's i guess. Yes, that is one way to, on paper, yeah. On paper, that's what you were doing. Were you good at it? Yeah, I was really good. Jesus Christ. A little too good.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Fuck yeah. I can't get over how enormous you look. I might have to get on whatever cycle you're on. Are you on juice? People ask, I think the secret is that my form is awful. So I do very heavy weight, but with awful form. So the risk is crazy. Are you hurting yourself?
Starting point is 00:28:14 Not yet. But yeah, I lift heavy weights. What happens? And I make sure they're heavy. I don't do reps or good form, which sucks. You just go until you can't? And I do full body. I don't do reps or like good form, which sucks. You just go until you like can't. And I do full body. I don't like break them up.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Everyday full body? Yeah. Yeah. Dang. I got here at 7 o'clock today. Yeah. 7.30. And I got done with mostly sports about 10.15.
Starting point is 00:28:41 I parked right outside, right out front. And I walked outside at about 10 about 11 o'clock my car was on it was just cranked crank it was just running the entire time oh no three three hours my car was running what i don't know i i don't know what happened do you remember turning it off probably left i left it on. I probably left it on, but why would I do that? But remember you set your car alarm off with your balls the other day? I did. So maybe you're turning it on.
Starting point is 00:29:12 I did wonder if I turned it on with my phone. With your phone? Yeah, I can turn it on with my phone. Wow. That could be it. Let's see. Yeah. But I hope I did.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Otherwise, it just sat there running for three and a half hours in Chicago. That's not, because you have a three and a half hour commute home, too. So you're going to run this thing raw. Che, you're on Surviving Barstool? Yes. They announced the full cast. Oh, and I heard. What is the full cast?
Starting point is 00:29:39 That's crazy. 100 Gs. 100 Gs? 100 Gs. 100 Gs. 100 Gs. Holy shit. 100 Gs? 100 Gs. Holy shit. Do you think there's any chance you win?
Starting point is 00:29:49 That deck is heavily stacked against me. So it's Big Cat, PFT, Hank, KFC, Fights, Dave, Gaz, Kirk Minahan, Rico,
Starting point is 00:30:05 Will Compton. Oh, my God. Holy shit. All the stars. Yeah. Tommy. Actually. I put himself in there?
Starting point is 00:30:13 Tommy's got to be the favorite. No, Tommy's going to be the first. They don't get him out. They don't get him out first. Unless fight. Whose fight's going to have a romance with? Hank? It's all dudes. Oh, yeah, they're going to get horny? Oh yeah, they're gonna get horny.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Yeah, they are gonna get horny. That's an interesting cast. Do you know where it's gonna be? It's gonna be in New York. New York office. Oh, shit. Yeah. Gaz, I'm interested to see,
Starting point is 00:30:36 because he's an evil mastermind. He's good at pulling the strings. He might be the best. He might be my favorite. If him and Tommy Smokes team up, Oh no. could be quite the strings. He might be the best. He might be my favorite. If him and Tommy Smokes team up, it could be quite the pickle. Do you think everyone's going to be
Starting point is 00:30:50 afraid to vote out Prez? No, I don't think so. I think some of those guys won't be. Yeah. Yeah, this might be the only crew where Big Body Prez could get bounced. That'll be great.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Are you nervous, Che? No, because I did it last season. It was the funnest thing that I've ever done here, like a project. Yeah. It was... This will not be that friendly. This cast is extremely intimidating. This is going to suck, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Yeah, because it's like... Yeah, I mean, just everyone on there is just a barstool like legend. Right. They didn't leave off any big names at all. At all. Yeah, none. It's like all the older guys too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Late 30s, 40s. Well, Titus. They left Titus out of it. Successful shows. Very successful. And they're like, they all have pretty big salaries yeah so it's just them going
Starting point is 00:31:50 100 grand means nothing to any of these guys drop in the bucket but yeah the prize value is much greater than I thought full transparency when we got asked it was 25 really thanks for the full transparency does that amount than I thought. Full transparency when we got asked it was 25. Really? It came out yesterday it was 100.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Thanks for the full transparency. Does that amount like there's a little bit of morals that go into that kind of stuff maybe like that's all out the window right? Like you would backstab anyone. That whole cast. Oh yeah. I would say Che.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Che's going to get fucking spit ripped. Apple in his mouth. You're going to be out within seconds. My God. Not if you're going to have time to fire up that Excel sheet. I hope that's the amount that makes Che go evil. Che, don't hold up at all. If anything, go harder. I don't think the money changes it.
Starting point is 00:32:37 If it was $10K like it was the first season I was on it, it doesn't matter. With these guys, it could be a zero dollar prize and they're going just i think that's i think like because like i mean dave bets like 100k for just like a saturday college football slate so yeah he'll still yell at you over it though but they will they will get excited about that money whereas it was like 10 they're content kings they're gonna show out yeah and then we're all going there for a week so like no matter what even if you're voted out like night one you're there yeah and it'll be interesting i think we're doing uh i might not or whatever i think we're doing like two elimination eliminations a day because the cast yeah it's a lot of people yeah minahan's gonna be walking you around by your pocket he's gonna be on a leash yeah i i heard something very funny uh yesterday i think
Starting point is 00:33:27 it was so kirk runs three miles every day wow and he's done it for like 10 or 15 years and he said that even when he was in the or i heard that when he was in the hospital like the he would run three miles in his room in like a fire. Yeah, it wouldn't hurt if he ran into a wall. So he's going to be doing that in the office. I'm assuming at like six in the morning. Oh, that's amazing. I like Kirk a lot. Yeah, I think everybody does.
Starting point is 00:33:55 You know he runs Raw Dog too. Like he's definitely not listening to music, I feel like. He's a big Bruce Springsteen guy. I feel like he's just like grunting and shit. How old is Kirk? i have no idea 62 he could be like he's another guy that looks sometimes you're like i don't think like within 35 by any 35 i think he's like 40 i would say 50 i would say 40 i'd say 40 40 49 48 i would have said low 40s. I'd say low 40s. He's definitely older than me. I don't think definitely. Yeah, yeah. He is absolutely older.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I would put money on 40. No, I do not. First of all. You look so much what? Having talked to him a lot, he is older than me. I'm not projecting. He is older than me. Yeah, I think I just know.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Stop making noises. He's not might be. I know he is, yeah. But I'm saying, we're saying if you go off physiological age. Right, but I'm using my age as a baseline, knowing that he is. Yeah. But I'm saying, we're saying if you go off physiological age. Right. But he's younger than you. My age is a baseline knowing that he is a couple years older than me. So he's at least 46 or 47. What are you, 44?
Starting point is 00:34:52 Yeah. Brandon, if you were asked to do it, would you have? I specifically asked not to do it. Okay. Because you would have been, yeah, like. And I asked, I asked. You would have been a human sacrifice. I said, hey, do not put me in this. this and they said we were never planning to ask you and i said well just make sure make a
Starting point is 00:35:10 note of it that i asked you not to do it i don't know you know you want to do a big project i would like to do something with a hundred thousand dollar prize but i would not like to be in an office for five straight days you and me let's race across the country go now all right your car's already on jump start hop in i'll need to stop and get gas yeah a lot who's the uh betting favorite do you think for that um my money be on gas i think i think i like hank i like hank it depends on the challenges. I could also see Feidelberg just stumbling ass backwards to the finals. Ass backwards because
Starting point is 00:35:50 that's how he likes to approach men. I mean, Compton's too stupid to me. Actually, PFT is very smart. Compton's going to slip on a banana peel. He's going to show up to the wrong building. KFC too. Hank, Che Che 0% chance
Starting point is 00:36:05 Rico will Spontaneously combust Tommy If Tommy makes it past the first round they fucked up Yeah I could see Feidelberg Because all of these guys are also Pretty vindictive
Starting point is 00:36:21 And if Feidelberg makes it to the end They're going to be like fuck you Big Cat fuck you Dave I'm voting voting for vitalberg and he could win yeah usually the vindictive ones make it far but never win yeah i think pft is very unassuming and so you wouldn't think he would like back yeah pft no he's like both mental and physical yes yeah he's like sneaky athletic very smart all right we gotta hop off the dicks you've got four or five people there that are like huge fans of the show so i have a leg up just based on i don't know about that definitely not five people there that watch oh huge fan kfc kirk those be all those watch survivor yes like a lot oh i didn't know that oh so i guess at least four i would be surprised my money's
Starting point is 00:37:06 paying on kirk now knowing that yeah no he knows how to when is this when are you going to shoot this uh middle of october okay right before we open up before we open up out here yeah nice when dan gets back i think we're opening okay that's gonna be good should be fun it's an honor nick would you do it i've done it before would you do like a real about that network show yeah dude um actually my senior year of college i was a finalist to be on the game show iteration of uh maze runner the the Dylan O'Brien film. Yeah. And I don't think they ever put the game show out, but I was in the top 10.
Starting point is 00:37:51 I interviewed like four times to be on this game show. So you had to go through four rounds. I had to make a video submission. Do you still have it? And they called me in the middle of class. I might somewhere. And it was me applying to be on this game show. I would do a real one.
Starting point is 00:38:07 I feel you could. So what would you do if you had a choice? If I had to do a game? Yeah. I'd want to do one of the houses like a big brother.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Yeah. I couldn't do actual Survivor. No, not actual Survivor. If any of that's actually true, I could do that. Amazing Race would be cool. I used to want to be
Starting point is 00:38:24 on Road Rules. Amazing Race would be cool. I think I would have be on Road Rules. Amazing Race would be cool. I think I would have a temper tantrum and just get in my own head. Yeah, you'd stomp around. I just want to be on Wheel of Fortune. Just one little... I would fuck up. Family Feud would be ideal.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Yeah, that'd be fun. Family Feud could break up families. The risk reward is you doing something stupid. Also, don't they only win in the prize every day $10,000 for five people? It's not about the prize. No, it is. It's about the fun. If I go on Wheel of Fortune, I'd like to win like $60,000.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Sure, you'd like to, but it's about the fun and saying you did it. I wish our whole group could do one of those extreme elimination challenges. Oh, yeah. Where's the nearest wipeout course? Yeah, like a wipeout course. That place, like I made it so far in the reality show thing and they didn't i don't think the show ever made its production i think dylan o'brien like got hurt on set what was the gist of it it was like the movie maze runner like we were there
Starting point is 00:39:15 was a big labyrinth and we had to like go in for supplies and oh you would have been good at that it was maze running um i don't i don't know if it ever became a show but they would call me the same agency of like trying to ask me to do other shows and they were like we'll put you on this one right now we'll fly you from morgantown but it was uh i was paired with the most elite member of a military branch and i had to like do training and like challenges with him him or her him and i i said absolutely not. Probably a wise decision on your part. Yeah, you saw my legs.
Starting point is 00:39:50 That's true. So that's that. I'll try to find the application. I'd have to log into my old college email. What about you guys? Brandon, you should sign up for a dating show. I'm married with four kids Whatever 17 years
Starting point is 00:40:08 It didn't fucking stop Remy Ma That's true Divorcing papoose Somebody's gotta do Che Tell him about the deliciousness of high noon We'll wait on you for that Kyle not talk about the deliciousness of high noon
Starting point is 00:40:26 he could yeah I thought Jay was Kyle could certainly sorry my computer went to sleep it's time to load up the ice and break out the oversized long games because the high noon game day pack is back it includes limited edition fan faves pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit made with real vodka
Starting point is 00:40:43 real juice only 100 calories gluten free and no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. Some thunderstorms coming in this weekend, but hopefully across the country, but hopefully people are still tailgating and get some, get some nice weather for, for people to have some high noon out at their tailgates.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Tonight there's football. Hell yes. Who do you like, Che? Niners. Spread? It's pretty high. Christian McCaffrey over 17 and a half rushing.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Longest run is my best bet of the day. I'll be riding. He's hit it 10 of his last 13 games. Oh, also big hit piece coming out tomorrow on Dave. Is it another one? I don't know what it is. I don't know. Crapping on. What's his word for misogyny?
Starting point is 00:41:37 Misogenic, right? Misogenic. Misogenic. Misogenic. He only, in fairness, he only mispronounced it 250 times. Yeah, no, that's all. No, that's the word. That's how you say it now.
Starting point is 00:41:49 And there's been enough of those articles where you should know how to say it by now. Yeah. Especially him, yeah. Oh, man. Do you think he'll get the call? He's supposed to get a call today, right, at 5? 5. No chance that's happening, right?
Starting point is 00:42:01 No, I don't think so. I think he denied it. So he's supposed to do 10, and then they said, can we do 5? When's the article come out? Tomorrow? Probably tomorrow at 9 a.m. So talking to him at 5 wouldn't be doing, it would just be done. So he said, no, I'll do 10 or nothing, and they said, then we're not doing 10.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Yeah. Which is basically, they needed to write their responses to his answers at that time. Huh. This is what publication? Washington Post. Washington Post. Washington Post. What is their HQ like, do you think? Yeah, do you think it's fun?
Starting point is 00:42:32 They're not hacky-sacking in the morning. I wonder what they do. Or ever. They don't have many sacks in there. No. No. What do you think? What U.S. metro area has the most NFL players?
Starting point is 00:42:48 Like where they go after they retire? Atlanta. Florida. I can see Atlanta. Florida. Some part of Florida. L.A.? Miami, maybe. Dallas?
Starting point is 00:42:57 You're forgetting offensive linemen. Dallas is huge. And that's like those corn belt boys. I feel like Dallas area has a lot and Atlanta has a lot. I mean, I can name. Texas. Just the two original NFL players from Texas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Yeah. Somewhere in Texas. Well, yeah, but you can't say Texas. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Second, Florida, third. Yeah, that's just states by population almost. Basically, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Yeah. City, though? I think Atlanta would stack up very well. Any NFL players from West Point, Mississippi? We have one. Jason Brownlee made the Jets this year. He's on the roster. It's our first one in a long, long,
Starting point is 00:43:35 long time. Was his last name just Lee and you guys made him change it? No, his name as far as I know has always been Jason Brownlee. Okay. Played for the 2017 West Point Green Wave The greatest team in the history Of LA
Starting point is 00:43:50 Southern California Houston Detroit Dallas and New Orleans Cleveland Right after this This is just damn near cities by popularity This is wrong though
Starting point is 00:44:06 atlanta they're not giving baton rouge is impressive so far based on population well yeah but do you think it's like a lot of ex-players that didn't leave the town and then have kids yeah i mean i mean no i think this is based on where you grew up right right right so lsu is there you LSU players. They leave behind. I don't think that would count if you just went to school. No, but I'm saying the LSU players. Behind their seamen. That turns into NFL players.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Still a lot. A lot of seamen, yeah. It's a lot of cream pies. What was your thoughts on New Orleans, Kyle? Too damn hot. I don't like New Orleans. I didn't like New Orleans. It was too humid to enjoy. it was too humid to enjoy.
Starting point is 00:44:45 It was too humid to enjoy. Uh, if you like to binge drink, it is probably a top city. Yeah. I loved it. I really, really had a good time there.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I went for an Eagles playoffs game and it was just the fucking best. And we lost the game, but all the fans were still super nice and they let us on a losers parade out of the stadium which i don't think they're not being nice at all you were in a wait a minute in hindsight a chanting loser uh yes yes oh they're being so nice but they made it fun you know they made it fun to be a loser and they kind of paraded us around town for a little bit afterwards and it was now that I hear it out loud, it sounds different. Do you think everything's fun? Like, was war fun?
Starting point is 00:45:28 They were shooting at us, and there were fireworks. It was good times. There was laughs. Hmm. I saw something weird yesterday. I was walking on the street outside of the office, and in front of me there was a father, and he was holding his son's hand,
Starting point is 00:45:44 and then in his other hand he just whipped out a vape and started blowing like fat clouds was it jersey jerry no no but it just made you not vape in front of your little boy i i just i've never seen it before yeah like that seems commonplace to me i think so too i think now it is but like my dad used to do cigars well he didn't have vapes as an option i can't imagine like a vaping father though exactly i was like that kid's eating or like a kyle father come on over a vaping kyle father kyle's i think you can't picture an old kyle now but i think there's no young kyle's anymore we're very you're in the middle thin range of like 22 to
Starting point is 00:46:25 40 year olds. Yeah, you had a fad name. It was definitely I mean, I feel like we all went to school with a bunch of Kyles. I haven't heard of one. I haven't seen one. New Kyle hasn't dropped in a long time. I haven't heard that name on the playground. Here's baby Kyle.
Starting point is 00:46:40 What are the new names now? It's always Aiden, Jaden, Caden. It all has Aiden in it My son's name We went to the Chicago Children's Museum And like every other mom was calling that name I was like fuck And yeah
Starting point is 00:46:53 It's a very popular name Where do you get to name yours? I have Well we gotta do the name wheel at some point We gotta do the name wheel Top baby names 2023 Liam, Noah, Oliver Biblical, biblical, biblical
Starting point is 00:47:03 Benjamin's good A lot of research Henry's a strong name Sebastian Ethan, Logan There come the Aidens I thought Nick was always just top 10 Our names are old now
Starting point is 00:47:18 Luca Lincoln I don't know about this list I don't know about this list Maverick I don't know about this list either I need a one There's no babies named Miles My buddy just had a baby Miles
Starting point is 00:47:30 Miles Maverick Pat Josh Varner Gay Pat He's an FU No Miles is pretty popular Yeah he's popular No I doubt him
Starting point is 00:47:39 Cool baby names Yeah Cool Wait so there's Wait go up There's unique baby names then cool baby names this is my cool baby hudson yeah hudson works it's cool baby hudson this is my cool stack actually my son his name is cassius and if i hadn't an apollo and a cassius muhammad ali
Starting point is 00:48:01 wait you say you hear a lot of cassius's not cash is the full name but cash oh really wait is your kid's name short for cassius his full name is cassius no yeah hard yeah i don't know why i did it but it felt it felt right are there any beef names that you've shot down immediately as of late he's got the lat cassius was torque a front runner for cash torque was a big one work is so sexual yeah wait you want he want to name him science that is a sick name yeah science science um excellence for a middle name was like yeah science excellent science excellence yep yep no he's got a list he's got an ever Science excellence. Science excellence. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 00:48:46 No, he's got a list. He's got an ever-growing list. Is middle name free game for us? The middle name, the first name's determined, I think, but the middle name is wide open. We cannot figure it out. So we can pick out the middle name. You can pick out the middle name. Probably start thinking.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Start thinking of names. Better time than the present to do name wheel. Yeah. I don't know if anybody has any suggestions I feel like we can't we can't Apollo big cat why is his middle name kick Kate off the yak interesting
Starting point is 00:49:16 all submit Che or yeah super like Asian name really yeah oh yeah and, super like Asian name would be awesome. Something really, yeah. Oh yeah. And I feel like the B would be fine if his middle name was like Pagoda.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Oh, he does not. Yeah, you can make it anything. The outfits he tries to wear to the hospital. Middle name should be for fun. Call him Eggroll. Jesus. Yeah. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, I'm open to suggestions suggestions trying to figure it out i guess once you have two kids with the with the beeve it's just whatever yeah had another nobody cares about no i had another appointment this morning did you know they they they gotta swab your uh for strep throat for strap like strap your pussy no you might have strep pussy one in five ladies has my dick's been coughing damn they swabbed your dick has a slight fever. Every time I go, I never know. Is someone looking at my pussy today or not?
Starting point is 00:50:30 Who's your doctor? There's so many appointments that you lose. You know how it is. You think they just make up new reasons to swab? To check it out. I never know. I don't know if you're going to a doctor. You're going to a hobbyist. A pussy hobbyist
Starting point is 00:50:45 TJ can you fact check Enthusiast Could Che if his wife's Could Che get strep throat from pussy Or could you give strep throat To a pussy This is the way I understood it He told you What is it what is going
Starting point is 00:51:06 on there what did he tell you that there's a strand of strep that one in five women has on their buzzer so he dropped the throat he's like just strep i assume strep group b is that the same kind usually in the and throat yeah see it's strep throat that you can have in your rectums yeah buddy no signs or symptoms though yeah you don't know you have it but you can pass it on to your kid i guess when you give birth and you can like give them strep throat if you have it place anus strep rectum we're keeping the name anus fuck it we're too established strep scrote. Not really. But yeah. I just, yeah. If one in five adults have it and Kate confirmed it's not,
Starting point is 00:51:49 then one of you four has it. Then one of you guys has. Strep pussy. Yeah, but it said you could have it on your asshole. Right, you have strep butthole. Strep ass. If I don't come into work tomorrow, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Can't do the pod today. My asshole has strep. my anus has strep i had strep a ton as a kid i was one of those kids that kept that always had it and that should be a one-time thing i got it like 10 times and then i got my tonsils taken out i got it last winter it's the worst dude i remember that have that. Have you ever had mono? No, you don't. I remember when you had it last year. I sent you a picture of my red-ass throat. Yeah. It was cherry red. Have you guys
Starting point is 00:52:34 ever had mono? No. It was always the cute kids, the hot kids. I was always jealous of those kids. I had to get to stay home from school for a month. It was horrible. Oh, you did have it? Of course he did. It's a big wrestler. I was trying. Oh, you did have it? Of course he did. Yeah. It's a big wrestler.
Starting point is 00:52:46 I was trying to wrestle with it, and it was just the worst. Were you just exhausted all the time? You can die. Hero energy. You can die off mono if you overwork yourself. You know that feeling when you're about to fall asleep in a nap? Yeah. It's like you have to live like that.
Starting point is 00:53:00 For like a month, right? It was long. Damn. Who'd you get it from? Yeah. Who was it? Sam Darnold that got it? Sam Darnold. Damn. Who'd you get it from? Yeah. Who was it? Sam Darnold that got it? Sam Darnold got it.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Yeah, that was. I got it in preschool. You got it in preschool? Yeah. From what? You fucking stud. Cool guy. Cool throne.
Starting point is 00:53:18 She. It's a stacked ass kid. It's the first time I had Gatorade. That was pretty exciting for me. Oh, yeah. They're like, you got to drink Gatorade all day. I was like, dope. This is awesome. Yeah. It was Gatorade. That was pretty exciting for me. Oh, yeah. They're like, you got to drink Gatorade all day. I was like, dope. This is awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Yeah, it was Gatorade and Jell-O. Yeah. Yeah. TJ, did anyone have any good solutions for you for your alarm troubles? I downloaded a new alarm. Alarmy is the app, and it's the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. And then you have to do math problems to turn it off. Wait, can you play it right now?
Starting point is 00:53:42 Oh, that sounds terrible. Oh, that alarm is the worst sound phone warning yes i didn't know the phone could reach like a new i thought max volume was max volume me too that's not that's kind of relaxing terrible oh no i would hate that start mission and then you have to do math problems to turn it off oh so you really gotta what that's so you have to like and to to turn the snooze button off, you have to like copy, you have to type out
Starting point is 00:54:07 a paragraph that they give you to like confirm that you want to turn it off. That is torture. Yeah. It sounds like a bomb was going off. I woke up like,
Starting point is 00:54:15 scared. I'm scared as fuck. How hard are the math problems? It sounds like your spaceship's about to crash. Okay. I'm so tough. Imagine a really dumb guy downloading that app.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I'm picturing like waking up in a guy's house to that sound and him being like, what's four plus eight? Three. It was either math or memorization game or you have to like shake your phone for 10 seconds. I think I'd do memorization. I think I'll just shake your phone for 10 seconds oh i think i do memorization i think i just shake my phone with shake yeah what time do you get up uh 5 30 how's that been i hate it i hate it so you're a night owl right i'm gonna yeah i kind of well i'll wake up uh usually about three or four o'clock and can't sleep for an hour or two and always think about my children's deaths and everything that could ever happen to me. But you haven't missed an episode yet, right?
Starting point is 00:55:12 Not yet, no. TJ's the only one that's missed an episode. Are you sleeping in your bed now? Because you're a big couch guy. I'm a big, yeah. Well, I go couch, bed, couch. I went couch, bed, couch last night. No, I went bed, couch, bed last night.
Starting point is 00:55:23 I'm not. TJ, I think I'm going to go a while before I miss a show. Sure. I doubted you making it this far. Yeah, I've got the commute down, Pat. I'm good. Nice. Only an hour 20.
Starting point is 00:55:37 My commute here is the same as it was in New York. Yeah. Yeah. And you get to listen to some tunes. I do. I listen to a lot of tunes. When was the last time you discovered a new song? Well, I have a rhythm.
Starting point is 00:55:48 I haven't. It's probably since 2005. But I have a rhythm. In the morning, I listen to my rap mixes. And going home, I listen to my country. I like to relax. I like to wake up with the rap, and I like to relax with the country on the way home. Alan Jackson?
Starting point is 00:56:02 All 90s country. Okay. I like it. Yeah. But how do you find new songs? Yeah, exactly. I don't find new songs. I don't know why y'all keep accusing me of trying to find new songs. I think you should. You don't listen to... It's all 90s and 2000s. Let us all build you a playlist. I don't need
Starting point is 00:56:16 new songs. I have Snoop Dogg. I have Outkast. I have Ludacris. It would help the feeling of finding a new song. I love finding a new song and burning it. But I like the comfort of finding a new song but i have comfort i love finding a new song and burning it but i like the comfort of having uh my old songs but yeah that's nice too i could live the rest of my life in 1994 and be just fine my discover weekly's been hitting lately mine's a bunch of new ones mine's like the worst music ever made nick's been sending me a new album every day
Starting point is 00:56:42 he walks into work i walk into work It's like a 40-minute walk. He sent me The Wonder Years. The Wonder Years, Greatest Generation. Great album. There was one song that bugged me out. It was like, I could die like this. And the song was like, I want to die in the suburbs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:56 I want to have a heart attack while mowing my lawn. Yeah. I just started cracking up. Good-ass song. What are your songs? Philly Band. Yeah. But anyone has an album for me, send it to me. Grayscale is as well, right? What? Is songs? Philly Band. Yeah. But anyone has an album?
Starting point is 00:57:06 Grayscale is as well, right? What? Is that a Philly band? Grayscale's Philly. Yeah. You put me under that. How do y'all learn about new bands and music? On the sites.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Yeah, the forums, the threads. Kurt Vile I was super late on. I just discovered him. Oh, Philly area guy. I highly recommend. I'm on Orville Peck right now. Gay cowboy. Orville Peck? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:28 That sounds good. You're making that up. He used to be a punk rock drummer, but he's a gay cowboy now. And he never shows his face. Oh, he wears the cool hats that are like a big lampshade around his head. Yeah, he's cool.
Starting point is 00:57:38 He's cool as hell. Oh, he does like old school country, Brandon. You'd like him. Yeah. Aside from the gay part. I can't tell my uncle that I listen to a gay cowboy. Oh, he's so sweet looking. What the fuck? Oh, Brandon. You'd like him. Yeah. Aside from the gay part. I can't tell my uncle that I listen to a gay cowboy. Oh, he's so sweet looking.
Starting point is 00:57:48 What the fuck? Oh, yeah. Rocks. Oh, yeah. Find some of his better hats. Oh, yeah. Looks like he's going to hold up your asshole. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:57:58 He might. Yeah. Is he like popping off right now? Yeah, he's big time. He's having a moment for sure. There he is. It's like we're at the perfect time for gay cowboy i think so are there any other kind of cowboy no no
Starting point is 00:58:11 yeah i think so name one straight cowboy back prescott the naked cowboy honey you ever been in a lot oh yeah there, yeah. There's one. Oh, yeah. Little Nas. What else we got? Oh, Jerry Jones is a straight cowboy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a big dude, right? No, no, no. I bet Jerry Jones is fucked around with everything.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Yeah. Once you get to that point of power and wealth. I think he's had some fingers in his butt. But that's not necessarily. College in Arkansas in a dorm room with him and Jimmy Johnson. Some shit went down. He's got to have some old man balls right now. Oh.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Right now? This very second? Yeah. Right now. Just woke up with them today? Yeah. Brandon, does it just happen or what? I think you get them a lot quicker than that.
Starting point is 00:58:57 I think you get them around 43, 44. Yeah, pop up. When do you get them? Is it startling? Is it like a slow burn or one day you look down and you're like. I don't know. I just woke up one day and I had a lot more sack than ball. Did you like yell? Yep. I didn't day and I had a lot more sack than ball Did you like yell?
Starting point is 00:59:07 I didn't You have more sack than ball What's your S to B ratio? First off it should be that way I started unfolding I could turn it over You think the ball should take up more I would say my balls
Starting point is 00:59:22 Are 80% of my balls That sounds about right oh no i'm probably at like 35 to 40 ball right now i'm so much sack no wait what age did you become more sack than ball skin everywhere i don't know dude dude yeah it's like somebody it's like balled up pizza dough and i just keep unfolding wait kyle what are you um i've been sacky since second grade yeah and i blamed it i always blamed it on my hernia operation but i don't think that causes it i don't think so either yeah like lower hanging like embarrassingly i mean i got everything i needed out of my balls in my life right like i
Starting point is 01:00:03 got it i got my four kids and i think my balls in my life, right? Like, I got it. I got my four kids. And I think my balls just went home. Is this something you've had to, like, address? I'm out. Some retired ass balls. Yeah, it's like, yeah, you're going down to Florida. Have you had to be like, I know. No, I don't want to. No, I don't let my wife see my balls.
Starting point is 01:00:17 No, okay. If you're more sack than ball, she has to see it. I can avoid it. I, you know, sneak into the shower, stuff like that. I just, I don't know. It's troubling. And I'm worried how it's going to look like in 10 years. I don't think you have to worry about that.
Starting point is 01:00:31 So much sack. Like, it's, yeah, I don't think you understand how much sack is. Okay. So, like. What's the proper ratio? I think 80%. 80% is too much. No way, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Okay. Maybe 70-40? I was going to way, dude. Okay, maybe 70-40? I was going to say 75-25. 70-40. Hey, what's your ball situation? 110%. I have 110% of balls. Are we talking erect or non-erect? Why does balls...
Starting point is 01:00:59 You had to make this weird. Well, yeah, but you're talking about percentage of the entire thing, right? Right now, sitting there, what's your ball percentage? Why are you looking? What are you looking at? Size ratio to my soft wiener? No. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:01:20 The amount of ball in your sack. Oh. Well, I used to have three. So what do you think is happening right now? Regretting is so much. Three balls. Why can't you just answer questions normally? Wait, three balls.
Starting point is 01:01:37 I don't know. It was a sports hernia. Okay. It wasn't three balls. It looked exactly like you would have been thrown off a cliff at birth. No, I developed it in my teens. I don't know. I feel like the balls are probably about 40% of the whole sack.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Well, see, there you go. Wait, that's a lot of sack. That's so much sack. It's really not. That's 60% sack. Here, perfect. Perfect example. No, probably not. here we go if this is
Starting point is 01:02:08 i'll turn it this way if this is the whole thing and your balls are like that that's like 40 he's right he is yeah but that you're not also i mean you're making a two-dimensional your balls need room to move okay let's talk about volume weight weight. If they were separated. Heft. It does change if you're playing sports or running or exercising. Then it's like... Yeah, everything contracts. 80%. Yeah. I guess they need a little wiggle room. We need a physicist.
Starting point is 01:02:36 No. We're going to ask him about his balls? That'd be like the 30th scientist we would ask. Brandon, what percentage of the city we're in? I said 35 or 40. I was right with you. That's fair. They're hanging.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Let those things hang. I think they're done. When they're cold, do they retreat? Or do they just say, fuck it? I don't remember. I try to ignore them as much as I can. I don't check in on them often. Do you sit on them?
Starting point is 01:03:05 Well, they're hiding right now. They're down there somewhere. Your balls turned your car alarm on this past weekend. Yeah. No, that was just me sitting on it. That was my ass cheek. That wasn't my balls. But was it the balls or the sack that turned it on?
Starting point is 01:03:19 Balls, probably. Would have been the sack. Would have been the sack. Yeah. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Well? I got it. would have been the sack yeah huh huh huh well okay remember there was a legendary yearbook from like it was like the coatsville 1997 where this kid on the golf team they're all it's like the team photos in the back and he had snuck his balls out of his shorts a little bit for the photo he's like on one knee so he was like a legend. Balls are funny, but Dick, not as much. I think Dick and Balls are both funny. Together, dynamic. Balls are funnier than Dick's. Balls could be a one-man show. Dick could never go solo.
Starting point is 01:03:55 If a guy pulled his dick, that's not as funny as pulling his ball out. Oh, no. It's behind the blur. Look at his little face. No, no, I don't.'t i don't i'm just saying that's number one knows there's i'm just saying all because he was they made a gap for it yeah so the front row knew yeah that was a game plan that was a formation they were well aware yeah damn i wonder how many team pictures have balls That we don't even know about There's one hanging in Caldwell High School I remember finding it at a wrestling tournament
Starting point is 01:04:31 That is a track team I was like wow do they even know You were the one that discovered the balls I need someone to go there and check Caldwell High School Send Kyle the picture of teen balls Break into it high school. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:46 I was young. I was younger than you. Don't get it. Mission, abort, mission. Break into the high school and find high school balls. We got them. Oh, man. Guys.
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Starting point is 01:06:13 Is there a package for me from Cliff DeMartino? Does anyone know? Did he send me a back massage thing? Are we bankrupting Cliff DeMartino? He must be. Probably. I think he has a lot on his head. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Yeah. Good dude. He's a plug here. He's a good plug. Fuck, I'll have to ask. I don't know where anything is in his office. Why couldn't you just buy yourself a back massage? He asked me if I wanted it.
Starting point is 01:06:38 I guess he had one. I said, yeah, please. I mean, you're spending all your money on Piper. On Piper. Yeah. Piper Jones. Any new additions? Things still waiting to arrive
Starting point is 01:06:48 Yeah A little house Yeah A big house Yeah I don't have room for it We're all getting Piper gifts right? That's still a thing
Starting point is 01:06:56 Oh we are? I was on Wall art I will She um yeah She just likes to play with plastic bags and laundry You done the laser beam yet? Oh no You were missing out I forgot about you're missing out i feel like that's evil no that's a cheat code that's my cat
Starting point is 01:07:12 loves it just like fucking around with the cat making it run the whole reason you get a cat is to fuck with the cat yeah but is there any brain thought from that cat that it's like i'm gonna get that red dot tell you something that cat is gonna fuck with you as often as it can you're right so you gotta get ahead of that gotta fight back i hate cats yeah i love cats but they're evil sons of bitches i'm allergic but i think it's a simple pet to have i used to have three or four cats at all times i think a lot of dog guys are cat guys in disguise they don't know it yet they don't know it yeah cats are awesome i want a dog they make you earn their respect. I want a dog. The dogs are, yeah. I see the appeal.
Starting point is 01:07:47 I could see you with a dog. Dogs just give you the respect. Yeah. I want a little tiny dog. Why a tiny dog? I'm a tiny dog guy. I love shih tzus. I saw a greyhound coming in today.
Starting point is 01:07:56 Too skinny. I know, but I just like seeing. This city, you see a lot of different dogs. Oh, yeah. A wide variety of dogs. A dog variety. Yeah. Everybody in my building's got a dog. I saw a basset hound the other day. I've never seen more dogs in my life. Maybe if I of dogs. A dog variety. Yeah. Everybody in my building's got a dog. I saw a bass in town the other day.
Starting point is 01:08:06 I've never seen more dogs in my life. I've traveled so many dogs. Maybe if I didn't have to fucking go to Portland. Oh, yeah. You're excited. Let's pull an all-nighter and just go crazy. I think you have a choice. We don't have a choice. But Saturday night. Wait, are you guys here tomorrow?
Starting point is 01:08:22 Or I didn't, yeah. Our flight's at midnight. Our flight's at midnight Saturday. Friday, I think we're leaving at like, I don't know, 7 or 8 or something. Imagine taking Adderall for a flight. I've done it. Why?
Starting point is 01:08:36 My thought process is that if you're not going to sleep, the plane is perfect for Adderall if you do it recreationally. No, it's not. What do you do the entire time? Adderall makes tedious things a blast. So if you're going to be stuck in a seat, you're going to...
Starting point is 01:08:54 Oh, playing a phone game or something like that? Yeah, writing things in your notes. Yeah. Okay. Can you sleep on a plane? I cannot sleep on a plane. Yeah, if I'm tired. I can't.
Starting point is 01:09:04 I never can. No matter how tired i am i took a red eye back from tucson 11 p.m to 7 a.m i never went to sleep damn yeah i can never no matter how long the flight i'm gonna pull an all-nighter yeah and so i will do it so i'm not miserable for sunday do you get nervous anymore yeah still you're streaming sunday i don't think i am i last week it was three days of streams in a row. Yeah. I'm going to stream Sunday. It's the best.
Starting point is 01:09:28 Watch football? Yeah, I'm not worried about you. I got to live my life, man. Y'all want to go ahead and spin the wheel, and we can finish after that? Yeah, I have a dog walk draft with Kate. Yes. Really? Yep.
Starting point is 01:09:43 Topic? Common and... Did we say it? Oh, no, never mind. I don't want to take that. It's common something. Yes. Really? Yep. Copic. Common and... Did we say it? Oh, no. Never mind. I don't want it to take time. It's common something. Yeah. Balls ratio. Common, lyrics, bars. Stack ratio. Buy a gun. Here we go. Yes! Are we buying a gun? Yes!
Starting point is 01:09:57 So put everybody on a wheel, right? Eliminator. KB, you have a needler from Halo. I have a needler already, but... Can we take that to the range soon? No, I asked. Oh, we can't bring it? No.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Is this everyone or is Big Cat exempt from this? Big Cat's not here. I think he would want to be on it, though. Yeah, put him on. Big Cat? I don't think so. Yes. I say yes.
Starting point is 01:10:23 He's golfing with... He's doing a pro hammer i'll put in the eye we hit we hit uh gun wheel who wants to buy a gun what you don't want a gun this should this is better odds for us it can be any kind of gun right yeah like a nail gun yeah ball gun blue
Starting point is 01:10:38 gun i want a piece i will buy a gun gun that is my promise to you guys what What do you want? Like what type? Whatever I don't have. Okay. Let's go shooting sometime.
Starting point is 01:10:50 What's your guys' favorite gun from GoldenEye, the video game? Oh, the Golden Gun. Golden Gun is everybody's favorite, but I liked the one that looked like. The Golden Gun doesn't suck. It's one shot kill. It's one shot kill, but it's a little pistol. But it's a one shot kill. And made of gold.
Starting point is 01:11:05 But it's a little pistol. It's a gun-shot kill, but it's a little pistol. But it's a one-shot kill! And made of gold. It's a gun! Is it effectiveness affected by the fact that it's small? No, it's one-shot, Kyle. It's one-shot kill any part of the gun. How are you saying yes if it's one-shot? Why does it matter? It's gold. It's sick. You can't really do it from far away. But why does it matter what size it is if it's a one-shot kill?
Starting point is 01:11:21 Because you can't really shoot it from far away accurately. I liked the gun that looked like the cash-out scanner. RCP 390? Yeah, me too. Wow. So we're all buying a gun, right? Were you good at GoldenEye? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:11:34 I was terrible at GoldenEye. I was the worst in my friend group at GoldenEye. I was not close to the best. I would always demand Mario Kart 64. Say, all right, I'll play this with y'all, but then we have to play Mario Kart. Damn, that's puss mode. Right. You'll get wrecked, dude.
Starting point is 01:11:50 Damn right. Puss mode? How can asking for one video game over another be puss mode? Because you suck at that game, and you want to play a... You just said you weren't good at it either. Yeah, I wasn't, but I just took my lumps like a man. Wow. From the start of this topic... Dominated, this topic Dominic chewed you up into a puree
Starting point is 01:12:07 yeah post mode let's find out who's buying a fucking piece yeah iron I get pretty sad sometimes no wait are you the one buying the gun no oh eliminators sometimes. No!
Starting point is 01:12:26 Wait, are you the one buying the gun? No. Oh, eliminators you don't get. Oh. Hmm. Oh, if Big Cat gets it, he'll buy the sweetest gun. Zai, you want a piece? Yeah. What's the timing here? Maybe next week?
Starting point is 01:12:44 Yeah, I think you have to at least go through the process like apply yeah fuck no damn it now we're not gonna get a good gun we're not gonna have a fun one I wanted him to get like an RPG you know what the cat would have done he would have gone and bought seven guns I know I feel bad I don't want to be the only one with a gun
Starting point is 01:13:00 you get a gun sorry Steve that's good. Yeah, I think we can all agree with that one. Nose up! Damn. Sorry, Zaha. Alright. I think KB's gonna get it.
Starting point is 01:13:24 KB? Yeah. You'll buy it, right? I thought you said Katie. No gun for Brandon. He already has enough. Hey, trio of slingers. My dad will be so proud of me. I like the color scheme here, too.
Starting point is 01:13:39 The first ever cream pie gun. That'll be a good footbag color. The only one trained to have it. Oh, my God. KB. Here we color the only one trained to have it oh my god here we go you're gonna have to be around the gun a lot i have to be around the gun so much i'm gonna bring it to every anus recording uh-huh all right best of seven you want it to land on your name okay okay mook do you have gun money no oh we'll. Oh, we'll get you gun money. I'm going to buy one up.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Do you have space in your apartment for it? You can hide a lot of guns in that couch. I'm going to have to put it in the oven. Yeah. You got the gun. I shut you out. I get to shoot you in the ass. Do you?
Starting point is 01:14:17 Okay. That's our suit. Oh, no. Fuck. You shoot her right in the ass? Right in the ass, yeah. Oh, no, dude. Oh. No. Fuck. He shoot right in the ass? Right in the ass, yeah. Oh, no, dude.
Starting point is 01:14:29 No. What the fuck? Shot in the ass. I'm cooked. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Shut out, shut out, shut out.
Starting point is 01:14:43 No way. Shut him out, shut him out, shut him out! Oh, look! By the hair on your ass, you made it. I kind of wanted that. Well, you're not a hell of it now. Oh, shit. There we go. I'm right back.
Starting point is 01:14:59 If Mook comes back on a 3-0, you get shot in the ass. Yeah, fair. On that thing, though, it might recoil and get mook in the fucking right between the eyes. Oh, my God. What gun are you going to get? KB's got a gun. Yeah. What is it? The laws? Pretty
Starting point is 01:15:17 easy, right? Here in Illinois? Six-month wait list? We can go to O-Block and just cop if you want. Can you buy a gun outside the city and keep it in an armory or something? We can also just drive'Block and just cop if you want. Can you like buy a gun outside the city and keep it in an armory or something? We can also just drive to another state
Starting point is 01:15:28 and get it like that. Yeah. Yeah, but then you have to bring it back. That's a felony? Yes. Brandon, you certainly don't have out of state guns,
Starting point is 01:15:36 do you? Don't raid his house. Really? I'm gonna, I'm out. Thank God you live in Wisconsin I know somebody that's throwing things in the lake tonight okay I mean it has been done from where I live transporting across state lines oh you're in written house territory yep
Starting point is 01:16:06 wow yeah you are is his name like on like welcome to blank no yeah i don't know if he lives there anymore i'd imagine not yeah he's bigger than us now yeah he's massive you know who's huge? The PSY, the Korean? Psy? Psy. Do you think he was a game system? I never knew. Because it's all caps, yeah. I saw him like, they shot him out.
Starting point is 01:16:35 Yeah, it looks like he's going to hurt you. On stage, it was the coolest thing in the world. Yeah, can we pull that out? His fans are still rabid as ever. Look at him. Oh, shit. Oh, gang him. Look at this. Oh, that's
Starting point is 01:16:45 he's the man can we get one of those wait is that the gang style guy yeah oh he's still huge my son is obsessed with that that is can't stop listening that crowd is raucous holy shit that crowd is exactly
Starting point is 01:17:01 that looks so much fun they're having the fucking time of their life. Look at that. Is that water gun spray? I don't know. I don't know. Yes, it is. There's water gun spray.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Look at him. Oh, what the fuck is he doing? Oh, wait. What's he doing? Dancing with the stars. He's got the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders.
Starting point is 01:17:21 Look at him go. He rocks. He got it. How old is he? He's another one where you can't tell. Colonel Sanders. Look at him go. He rocks. He's got it. How old is he? He's another one where you can't tell. Probably 40. Huh. 42 maybe?
Starting point is 01:17:32 I wouldn't be shocked if he's like the richest man ever. Yeah. What do you think his sack to ball ratio is? It is probably good. Oh, J.Y. Park. He's probably got 10 tight. Sorry. Wow.
Starting point is 01:17:43 Go ahead. I feel like he's got tight balls we gotta get Cy on anus just do it 60 million I would've
Starting point is 01:17:49 I would've put his net worth over 60 I would've been triple digits of the millions huh everybody pepper him to come on anus
Starting point is 01:17:58 please love to get Cy be a big get we had White Sox Dave it's pretty big close wow
Starting point is 01:18:06 can I say I live near him and I was walking through the park the other day taking my son to daycare and this man
Starting point is 01:18:14 is sprinting like so fast that I was like I made a note I was like holy shit that's a really fast guy it was White Sox Dave
Starting point is 01:18:21 sprinting? sprinting laps around the park you had to be getting chased i he did by the time we got out of the park he had done like three laps around us he was doing like cardio wind sprint he was like sprinting dave what the hell yeah he saw you sprinting fast here's a fat i'm telling him how fast you are you're a sprinter he's like i was like shocked at how fast you were you could just sit in that's like i was like shocked at how fast you were you could just sit in that everyone told me not to tell you jog the chairs no no that's right it wasn't for
Starting point is 01:18:51 you then if that was your jog i was like holy shit balls dave's so he's so fast he was a morning jock i guess i don't mean this in a shitty way but i didn't know it's like weird to see you outside here i didn't know you had like athletic you were at a what pace were you doing i did a 7 30 pace it seemed very fast you definitely started sprinting when somebody started watching you that's pretty good i'm sorry you definitely started maybe like when somebody started watching you no you have you have pretty short legs maybe the legs to keep the 7 20 pace have you moving a little bit quicker that is actually the opposite of how it works the longer your legs the less i don't think it is the opposite of how the longer you'll appear quicker with short choppy oh maybe oh that's what
Starting point is 01:19:34 you okay maybe yeah yeah all i know before i realized it was you i was like that guy's going really fast and then i was like oh my god it's white socks dave they told me not to the other guys told me not to tell you how fast you're doing this i believe that he's run um i don't know a few times a week nice yeah i'll mix it up you've been looking good steven okay well that's adversarial for no reason i'm joking he are you faster than steve uh no steven oh in a sprint i think i would be what about a mile you're faster than him in In a mile, maybe. I can go at a pace for like miles and miles because I did the marathon a few years ago.
Starting point is 01:20:12 So, not to brag. I was going to say, each lap that I saw him do was equally as fast. He didn't slow down. Steven, do you think you would beat him in a race? A mile? A mile? Probably not. What about a sprint?
Starting point is 01:20:22 A hundred meter sprint. That's a long race, though. I know it's not, but a sprint? A hundred meter sprint. That's a long race, though. I know it's not, but it is. Fifty meter sprint. Fifty would be a good one. It'd be close. That's your bread and butter. Somebody's probably pretty close. Somebody have some nuts here. Could you be? I think I heard it right here.
Starting point is 01:20:39 And good coverage. Good D. Shifty. Damn, Che, what? Well, that throw was late. That was a bad throw. Chief did well. That was one bad throw. He Che, what? Well, that throw was late. That was a bad throw. Chief did well. That was one bad throw. He had a step on him. That throw was late.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Yeah. Little jukin'. Whoa. Okay. The knee just fucking popped it right into his hands. Yeah, that was bad. Yeah, but he had the inside step on him. Yeah, he did have you there.
Starting point is 01:21:03 I was giving him the inside step. Oh. I was staying underneath. I just giving him the inside step. Oh. I just didn't want to get beat deep. Yeah, this was actually a lot of fun on a work day. Just going out, tossing the ball, running some rounds. There's nothing better than throwing a football. Nothing. It's the greatest thing on earth.
Starting point is 01:21:17 We all had a great time. Yeah. But we were talking over there, like, who are the most athletic people in this office, and people said Che and White Sox Dave. No. White Sox Dave? Do we need to pull up the Barstool vs. America challenge? We can do that.
Starting point is 01:21:32 KB is, like, easily the most athletic. No, I'm not. I'm just saying. The strongest, I would say. I don't do sports well. Like, basketball, football. Look at his arms. That's not a sport.
Starting point is 01:21:44 You keep trying to make that that's like bowling weren't you good at bowling too though when you did that a few weeks back i had like a a few strikes in a row you popped off your first game yeah didn't you have like a 200 or something no it was like 180 no i think brandon's a good athlete at a very limited scale. You're going to get winded. I was a terrific athlete up until like 28, and then I just all fell off. But you can look good dribbling the ball down and pulling up. I can shoot a pretty jump.
Starting point is 01:22:16 I can hit a ball a long way, but I can't run. I thought I was until we played Yak basketball. You're going to be at the Barstool Bar. Yeah, tonight. You're going to be blacked out, so go ahead and see that. Honky Tonk. I'll do the belly punch if you guys want to step up and challenge me. That's a joke.
Starting point is 01:22:36 I will not do that tonight. You had me going there for half a second. I'll be doing the belly flop. That's a joke. You don't know what that is, though. I know, but let it out. I'll be doing the belly flop. That's a joke. You don't know what that is, though, the belly flop. I know, but let it simmer. Is that how Houdini does it? No, because I say things and people take them very literally.
Starting point is 01:22:52 You didn't let it simmer. And then I get into the belly flop. Might as well have not said it. Things I was joking about. What is it? This happened one time, and it's told on on various forms of barstool radio you don't need to have so many filler words but chief told the story a couple weeks ago and he completely butchered it so it's like what happened was this i was at a white socks bar
Starting point is 01:23:18 after a white socks and we'd been drinking and talking all day it was a saturday and this a white socks fan he didn't like me because i'm not from the south side he said he's like you're not from here we don't want you i'm like okay dude and we ended up and we ended up like got me and so anyways we started becoming like friendly and like busting each other's balls and we what's the ratio of the balls i'm sorry i'm sorry oh the ratio of the balls yeah continue sorry keep going two each side um okay that's good yeah sorry um and we did this thing where we would take a shot and then like we would have to stand there and punch each other in the stomach until someone dropped or tapped out and i lost
Starting point is 01:24:02 how many that's how we settled our beef, like five maybe. Chief says it was like eight, it was like four or five. And you were going like full force. And I did end up puking. Holy shit, Jesus. So Dave will not be doing that. That's not going to happen at
Starting point is 01:24:19 all. Don't offer me Jameson at Barstool River North tonight. Who else coming from there from here that's the reunion show for catch a predator i might go and get mozzarella sticks to be honest great food yes i know you got good food there i've been craving their ma sticks like crazy yeah we Yeah, we went yesterday. We did. Yeah. Yeah. Stein holding competition. Some random ringer came in and won the whole thing.
Starting point is 01:24:50 This guy walks in, he's like, give me the Stein. There was a Stein ringer. Wait, you just hold a Stein like as long as you can? Yeah. Yeah. That's it? Like it's a full Stein? Full Stein.
Starting point is 01:24:59 How heavy? It's a full Stein. It's heavy. What's that got to be, like five pounds? Yeah, probably close. Five pounds? Three pounds? Heavy, probably close. Five pounds. Three pounds? That's probably like, how much liquid is that?
Starting point is 01:25:11 32, 40 ounces? I should have won. They're bigger than you. Yeah, they're big. Rudy tickled me. Rudy was tickling me. Rudy tickled me. It was Yankenstein. And it sucked.
Starting point is 01:25:19 Yeah, he couldn't keep off you. Don't blame him. At all. All right. I dismissed. Yeah. See Dave tonight. You're doing the stomach thing.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Yeah. Punch. Punching game. Can we put that on the flyer? The stomach thing? He's not doing that. Next Wednesday, trivia. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Next Wednesday, I'll be doing opinion-based trivia. Whoever wants to come, I have them written up. Love it. It'll be teams. Can't believe you didn't know Raymundo. You will stand up. I fucked up doing opinion based trivia. Whoever wants to come I have them written up. I will be teams. You will stand up. I fucked up on Raymundo. You will stand up and I will ask you a question. Like.
Starting point is 01:25:54 Who's the ugliest woman? And then you have to answer it. And I will sign points. It's like debating. Is it? Jesus Christ. Who said Sandra? Immediately. is it yeah jesus christ who said sandra immediately that's not gonna be one of the questions i wasn't expecting anybody
Starting point is 01:26:13 and you said it you what the fuck that is an insane answer you're a dog you're locked and loaded. Like Kyle. Can you give us a sample? Don't waste a question. Most dead celebrity. Okay. Your table will have to figure it out and one person will stand up and we assign points one through ten.
Starting point is 01:26:43 Michael Jackson. I think we're going to try to do like 25. I'm trying to think how... I'd imagine there will be a lot of banter betwixt. PFT will be there. Kyle, Mookie, if you guys want to. I think they're going to be there. It'll be fun.
Starting point is 01:26:58 If it works, we'll do it again. If it doesn't work, we'll probably still do it again. It's the Yak. All right. Happy Thursday. Peace. It's the Yak.
Starting point is 01:27:13 What? It's your strong Jack Star. No. No. Uh-oh. What? See you tomorrow. Bye.

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