The Yak - Nick Wants To Be Like Mr. Beast | The Yak 4-11-23

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

You better not be watching H2O without meYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, hold that up. Hello. Hello. Hello. Freaking Yak. Presented by Roback. Roback.com.

Promo code YAK. Wearing the joggers. I only wear the joggers now. I'm just a joggers guy. You don't have to be anything else. I've, like, I got a couple pairs of jeans. Nice. Maybe if I go out to dinner or something.

No, you can actually get, you can never wear jeans again. It's very nice. So, rowback.com, the most comfortable joggers in the world. They got Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, everything. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Promo code YAK. Yeah, you're right. Something happened in the last few years. Maybe it's because of COVID, but

you can get away with basically wearing anything now. Joggers go with everything. There's like women wearing joggers in church. Yeah. And there's also a big anti-jeans movement, people who think that jeans are the worst pair of pants.

I think... Uh-oh. Oh, shit. That's on day two of his jeans. Are you saying that because I flamed his ass yesterday? No, that's not it at all. Look on the internet. Did you flame Roan? Flamed him so hard.

I was wearing jeans. You flamed? I was wearing jeans. All theamed? I was wearing jeans. All the comments were saying that I won the fit off. Roan, when Sass does successfully own you, which I don't know how often that is, do you accept it or do you deny it? No, he was pissed. Accept.

I accept. He was throwing shade at me after we stopped recording. Oh, no. I knew it was real. Damn. This is like never go to bed angry. Yeah. Yeah.

Never leave the podcast studio angry in a fight. It was a wacky bit. It was 3-0. You guys walked out and just like found each other's hands real quick. Just like little squeeze like we're going to be okay. You're good, you're good. We're going to make it through this. He just broke down crying afterwards.

He's like, that's not the person I want to be. I'm not abusive. I'm sorry. I actually did feel bad. I know. Ironically, I went home and I was like, I think I was mean to Ron. Oh, no. It's not my fault that I was stunting so hard yesterday.

You were stunting. And I also can, you know what I mean? I've made a lifetime of being a mean person. Take a little guff. It's nice. It's nice to take guff. It takes somebody to give some. Yeah.

Yeah, you've got to be able. It's a two-way street. Get owned once in a while. I'm not owned. It's fine. It's fine. I'm not mad right now. I'm not mad.

That didn't cut me to my core. I wish there was something on Twitter where you could actually have, like, an emoji that actually, like, correctly showed what your emotion is when replying to people. Sometimes I'll just get bored and I'll just pop off and be like, oh, you're triggered. It's like, no, I'm not. But there are times when I am triggered. I wish you could differentiate, you know? Just be like a surrender button. Yeah.

You won. Yeah, or just like a button that's like, Big Cat's tweeting this, and he's just on the shitter and bored, not Big Cat's actually upset about this. Big Cat went into the other room to tweet this. Yeah, right. There's been those.

Yeah, yeah. But a lot of times, it's literally I'm just sitting on my couch being like, fuck it, I'm going to reply to someone. I replied to some dude the other day like 10 hours later. He's like, you can't come back to this 10 hours later. I was like, I can do whatever the fuck I want, bro. Yeah, no rules.

I was with my kids. I stopped tweeting. Then they went to bed, and I popped back off. No charge in the wild. We need that. Yeah, you can really pop off. Did you the while. We need that. Yeah, you can really pop off. Did you ever take you wish Twitter didn't exist?

No. Oh. Was Kevin? Yeah, he doesn't like it. He wants everyone off Twitter. Why? He's getting too many World Baseball Classic tweets.

Yeah. I love when KFC just gets sucked into this crazy internet beef of something that like a hundred people care about. It goes on for like 20 days straight. And the funniest thing is people will be like, oh, Kevin, like you've become this guy. Like, no, he always was like that. That's actually why like that's my favorite part about him is he'll just get in an argument

and if you're on the outside, you'll be like, what is even going on? But he's just in it. Yeah. He's just fucking fighting it, and it's so funny. Yeah. It's awesome. It's fucking great. I hope he never loses that.

Yeah. I think he was more talking about the potential for growth on other platforms or the interaction time that people spend on other platforms, maybe. I think it's because they always say that, like, Twitter is, like, the least profitable app and almost all of Barstool's, all of their content is on Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, I think that that was...

Fuck it. She was like, instead of making five tweets a day, make five TikToks a day. But it's not exactly the same. Like, a TikTok takes a little bit of... Also, your face is on a TikTok. Yeah. A little more out there. No one wants to see my face five times a day, but it's not exactly the same. A TikTok takes a little bit of... Also, your face is on a TikTok. A little more out there. I don't want to see my face five times a day.

I don't know. There's some content creators with whom we work that are getting faced five times a day on screen for TikToks. Yeah? Nate Dude is doing an awesome job with the sit-down, but he switches his speaking cadence on the sit-down tocks and it's fucking,

it's mysterious. It draws in a crime mode. Yes. He got, it's like a true crime voice. It's like, uh, is there a crime channel?

It's like some shit like you would hear on the crime channel or like a voiceover. Who's the guy with, won't believe that they are. Yeah. No idea what was happening. We pull one up to, is it, who's the guy, the guy who wore the leather coat?

Unsolved Mysteries? Yes, it's like that kind of voice almost. Like, all right, gumshoes, see if you can get to the bottom of this one. Robert Stack. Yeah. 20 kids were abducted in Iowa in 1982. You got to hear from the first word. One time Gambino mafia boss.

Oh, yeah, I like this. John Gotti had five children. Angel, Victoria, John, Peter, and Frank. John Gotti Sr. and his wife, Victoria, would essentially raise their children in this fairly nondescript home in Howard Beach, Queens. Now, interestingly enough, John Gotti's wife, Victoria, who is still alive, still actually lives in the home on the tree-lined block in Howard Beach. There's one child, though, in the Gotti family we don't talk much about.

On this week in 1980, 12-year year old frank gatti would be out hanging out with some of his friends near his home in howard beach a friend would bring a mini bike to the party and he decided to take it on a spin sadly he would be hit by a motorist and die at the scene the death would be ruled an accident. Now initially, most of the neighborhood, John himself, and everyone involved knew that it was an accident

that would not stop the man and hit young Gotti, John Favara, for receiving death threats. And at one point, it's a slower burn than other TikToks. It's not like,

bam, right to it, but people have crazy engagement. Stop on your track. Well, I think there's going to be a permanent like generational dialect change from people trying to sound what is it like trying to sound enthusiastic for a like a video yeah i think so i think there's something to that but that's not even what that is that's that was a different that was that also like slower paced i think tiktok will just take, it will basically replace like books, essentially. Everyone will just learn all their facts from TikTok.

Totally. Like Billy, he'll come in sometimes and he'll say something. I'll be like, is that TikTok? It definitely was. He speaks confidently about it too. Just like average guys who are just a regular guy will have five million video uh views on a video where they're speaking confidently right something that's just wrong right yeah and then everyone believes them everyone just goes with it tick tock's bad i really don't like it i think best

is when when joe rogan gets like when he'll have jamie look it up and it's like totally wrong and he'd be like well yeah you know like well if it did happen that would have been crazy yeah 75 of people who took the vaccine are dead right now jamie can you look that up kids kids are using litter boxes in high school yeah it's funny when he admits he's like i'm just talking out of my ass it's great then then he'll have like the biggest like 12 words in front of it he's, the xenohormesis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the hell? In terms of, that's the other part,

is people who are online as much, or talking as much as Joe Rogan, his hit rate's probably pretty good. He just misses a couple times, and everyone just jumps on that, and they're like, oh, he's wrong again. Yeah, it's funny as fuck. You gotta be wrong.

You gotta be wrong to be right. And there's gonna be a TikTok dialect for sure. I think that is going to influence. What's up, guys? Every phrase is in question form. You know what I'm saying? An uptalk. You filled a pool with 500... It's so bad.

I don't understand how more people didn't get enraged by the automated voices that they use. Oh, yeah. The one that's kind of like this right now. I actually kind of like that one. I know, it's addicting. That one I have to stop and listen to. There's another one that I can't.

KB wore the Blazy Susan shirt on the yak. Fuck yeah. But you got to just embrace it. Otherwise, you're just a counterculturalist. I'm counterculturalist. Are you? I don't go on TikTok. But it's like you're like, you're waging war against it like we're gonna take it down as opposed to

it's just like how things are and you're just counterculture. No, I just don't like it. That's fair. I hate too. They're like, you gotta if you post it these certain times and you get to hang in the algorithm and blah blah and like, it's my job but i'm like never gonna do i'm never gonna like plan out in a specific way my social media because that's so unnatural to me i posted a clip from our sketch thing and i posted it like horizontal horizontal yeah instead of vertical like oh that'll kill then i went up to and it wasn't like doing well at all and i don't really know how the reels work and i went up to

mook and i was like and he was like yeah he's like dude to be honest he's like you posted it at the worst time of the day possible and also it's not vertical and there's no time of the day yeah oh yeah dude i'm not there was like a whole sheet that came out of like instructions for whatever well three six nine and to me like i part of me and, I have to enjoy it and feel genuinely just whatever about it. Otherwise, once I start overthinking it, I'm like, ah, this is not fun. When do you suppose? 12, 3, 6, and 9, I think. Yeah, 12, 3, 6, and 9.

What's the most optimal day? It's like Wednesday at 6 o'clock? I think any time. I would assume 5 to 7 is the worst time because then people are going home from work. Wouldn't that be when people are checking their phones? I guess, yeah. I don't know. I'm just not going to – I don't like the idea of taking a horizontal video

and making it vertical when it's supposed to be horizontal. It's something a lot of like – Sounds like a real struggle. It's a filmmaker's struggle, honestly. Well, it's like we shot it horizontal for a reason. I don't want to just cut out half of the... But it's also like you have to meet people where they're at when you're putting out content. Like you have to like

if people are on TikTok, they're not going to leave TikTok to go watch this somewhere else. Like if you want to give them the content, you kind of have to purpose it for every platform. Yeah, I guess. You just got like posts like it has to be zoomed in on my face. Yes. People just want to hear, people just want to see the faces.

They don't want to see anything else. Yeah. Just the eyeballs. Just cram the two eyeballs onto the screen. You'll be good. I suck at it too. I'll spend a long time doing a voiceover on this long three-minute video of going into the city or whatever. And it'll get like five likes.

And then I'll just do one of Glennie's Feet Finder hat. And it gets like 10,000. I just can't figure out. Damn old. The rhyme or reason to it. The algorithm. Yeah, the algorithm. I don't think any other person aside from us cares about this.

No, God, no, probably not. Oh, definitely not. Yeah. Oh, definitely not. Are we supposed to talk about something we don't care about? Yeah. Talk about whatever we want on this show. That's the beauty of this show.

No plan. Yeah, there was some really good banter about the algorithm. Listen, popped in my head. What did Pat Bev say about the playing game? He didn't want to talk about the Bulls. Oh. I think he's so fucking locked in. He didn't even want me being like, let's fucking go.

Playing shit. I mean, he's kind of in a tough spot because obviously I want the Bulls to win. I want Pat Pev to do well. But if he wins, if they get in the playoffs, people are going to be like, Pat Pev playing. He's the playing MVP every year. I think that would be awesome. If you get to the play-in and he'll, if he can, like, I mean, knock on wood, guarantee that you get in or something.

Yeah. We were talking a lot about the path that they would take. I think that if they beat Toronto, and then hopefully they'll play Atlanta against, like, hopefully Miami wins. Yes. Yep. They could steal one from the Bucs.

Maybe. Yeah, yeah, maybe one. Steal one or two. One when everyone just gets bored. Yeah, just trick them. Trick them into a, like, get a 3-0 or something like that. Win two real quick. Bang, bang.

Yeah. They could beat the Bucs. No. The Bulls? Yeah. They beat them once this year, though, right? I think they beat them earlier in the year. Then they lost to them when Giannis wasn't playing.

Yeah. That's a little demoralizing. That's tough. When a team sits their best player and you still lose. Sixers sat all their starters against the Hawks the other night and beat them. Yeah. That's going to be so demoralizing that's when a team sits their best player and you still lose sixers sat all their starters against the hawks the other night and beat them yeah that's gonna be so demoralizing i do think there's a there's a whenever like a really good player sits there is a uh psychology that that works against you because you're basically like oh well we don't have to play

this guy this is awesome like we'll easy win and And then on the other side, the other team's like, we've got to prove that we have merit without him. I think that's why the Wolves could beat the Lakers without Gobert. I think that's that exact reason. He really is every French stereotype come to life. Yeah, the West is wide open. Wide open. Every time I check the top four in the standings,

like the two through four are different. I need more. Are the Kings the best? Three. The Kings are three, and they're playing the Warriors, so they're not even favored in the first round. The Warriors will probably win that series. That's going to be a fun series.

Yeah, it is. Battle of the Bay. Yeah, it is. Well, Sacramento's kind of inland. Yeah, but it's, you know. Ish. For all intents and purposes, Battle of the Bay. In and out. In and out's kind of inland. Yeah, but it's, you know. Ish. For all intents and purposes, Battle of the Bay. In and out.

In and out, Battle of the In and Out. Battle of the In and Out. Battle of California. Battle of California. Capital versus the Bay. Capital versus the Bay. New kids, old kids. But Lakers and Clippers are in California.

It can't be Battle for California. Yeah. But could they both? Splash Bros versus The Beam. You want a fun fact, KB, that you can just pop on people? First time since the Dallas Mavericks became a franchise,

which I think was 81, that no team from Texas made the playoffs. Since 81. Yeah, 40 years. 40 plus years. Spurs, Rockets, Mavs. Mm-hmm. Goddamn.

Yeah. Pretty crazy. Wow. That's sad. Yeah. Texas is done with basketball? Football? They finished basketball forever.

Fuck. It's a football state now. Look at Dana Beers eating a salad. He's looking spelt. I think it's the glasses. Oh, yeah. Put glasses on. You definitely look skinnier.

I think he looks healthier. Smarter. Smarter. And people can conflate being smart with being skinny. He's got his hair slicked back, too. I feel like that's fancy. That's a fancy look. He must be editing his Man on the Street videos today as opposed to shooting.

He's in the lab. He's going to Talladega, I think. He's going to have a good time. Good time down there. Man on the Street, Dana. I'd love to see a collab, a crossover episode where him and Danny Jackal both man on the street. Like dueling pianos? Some shit like that.

That would be kind of cool. Same people who can get the better bites? Maybe you do live requests, so you tape it live. It's like, hit this guy in the nuts. I think that if you... Tell this guy you want his number. Oh, Practical Joker? Yeah, right, like we call it out.

Dueling men on the street. Yeah, dueling humans. Impractical Jokers wanted to come on PMT, and we responded to the request saying, only if it's the original four. You guys need to reunite? How sick would that be? Yeah.

We won't do it without, what's his name? Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe.

Joe. Joe. We won't do it without Murr. Won't do it without Murr. How many people are still in it? Three. Three? And who left?

Murr? And Fatone from time to time. Why did he leave? Joey Fatone. Oh, is he? Why did he leave? Wasn't he going through a divorce? Uh-huh.

I believe. Murr. He was caught. He was emotionally cheating. Murr. Yeah, caught emotionally cheating. Joey? Like Benjamin Albright?

Joe Gatto left, not Murr. Oh, Joe Gatto. So they're still actively pranking people on camera. Yeah. I think that's... Their show is so fucking big. Dude, they sell out like yeah i think that's which makes it all the like illogical how do people not recognize them i don't know oh good point i don't know at this point but dude like they do they do like they do all do stand-up

i know sal does like a lot of stand-up And they do live shows And they sell out like arenas Everywhere in the country I think that they are Similar to like Dude Perfect There's gotta be a point where you're like I kinda wish I could do my own thing But this is just too good Yeah Like the money's too good

I'm kinda trapped in here Just being part of What network are they on? Spike Yeah Oh True TV True TV

And that's just like one of those shows that they just are True TV. I love Spike TV. They're the whole network. Spike TV even still around? I don't think so. But it was such an awesome concept. They're like, what if we had a TV station just for dudes?

And it was. And Bar Rescue. Yeah. It was. It ruled. It was a great time. It was Warrior. Where guys can just be guys. Yeah. Dog the Bounty Hunter and Bar Rescue. Yeah. It was. It ruled. It was a great time. It was Warrior. Where guys can just be guys.

Yeah. Dog the Bounty Hunter and Bar Rescue. Are there more channels for men or for women? Women. Women. For sure. You think? Lifetime, E.

QVC. QVC. Bravo. Bravo. Women's TV. Women's TV. Home TV. Yeah, HFTV.

Guys sneaky lurking. What about sports? Sports. Sports is tough. Oh, there's a lot of sports. There's a lot of sports stations. It about sports? Sports. Sports is tough. Oh, there's a lot of sports. There's a lot of sports stations. I guess PN has 700 channels. Yep.

It's got to be you guys then, I feel like. What's the TV, when you turn on your TV, what's the first channel you go to? Like when I go to a hotel, it's usually. Or like even at your home, like if you're. I don't watch TV at home because I just watch what I want to watch. What do you do i watch either uh just yeah i go right to just espn i think same way every time just go right to espn i'm in a hotel i go i go comedy central to see what's on steal some bits steal some bits do some do some research on your next set.

Yeah. I memorize an entire episode of South Park and then redo it on stage. And then I go, I'll check like all the movie channels. Yeah. I like to scroll the movie channels. Cruise through the movie channels. I'll usually end up on like Chicago Fire or some dumbass show. That's bad. And then watch that for 10 hours.

Yeah. Get trapped. I'll check both sides of the news. You will? Just check them. Wow, fair and balanced. Just see what they're talking about. Growing up, I had an older brother who, three years older than me, but he was like the king of the remote.

He's not still with us? He is still with us. Right, I do. I still have. But it was always, first thing in the morning, first thing as soon as he got home, SportsCenter. And it would be the same thing on loop over and over, but he would just re-watch it again and again and again. I remember

physically trying to rip the remote out of his hands because I was so tired of watching. I'd watch five SportsCenters in a row. Yeah, he would repeat. I'm like, we just watched. Nope. The problem is because back then you couldn't see the games live. Like, there weren't that many games live all the time.

So it would just be like. That's literally how all these dudes memorize shit for the dozen. Yeah. It's just that you were studying from an early age. Yeah, you're just watching sports. Times over. Like, you knew the highlight. Just memorized the highlight as it was about to come up.

It's Switch Hosts, like, around 11 a.m. or something. If you were sick, just watch that. It was the same shit all day, and he never got sick. What were you going to put on? Nickelodeon. Come on. What was your home from sick show? Rolly Polly Oly, and then Price is Right.

Price is Right, always. I was a Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer as well, which felt like you were illegal. A's right. Always. I was a Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer as well which felt like you were a little dirty. Yeah. Then maybe like whose line is it anyway? Yeah.

Little Bill. Whose line is it anyway was good. I really stopped watching TV like I mean Netflix became a thing when I was young.

Yeah. I remember I used to I mean I have little sisters and I used to just watch whatever they were watching. Like I'm way too old of an age. I was watching, like, toddler shows on Disney Channel. Like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is awesome. I'd be like, this is great. Yeah. Me and my sisters watched, you know, H2O, the mermaid show? Uh-uh. No. Old. I watched the entire thing with my sisters.

It was like five seasons, And we watched every single... And I would be like, don't watch it without me. And I was like in high school. I would be like, I want to know what happens. I want to see what happens. Yeah. I would be like pissed if I came home and they were watching it. I want to see what the...

I was like, we got to go back and see the episodes I haven't seen. The secret clue in Mickey Mouse Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Haven't seen this episode yet. Remember I wasn't allowed to watch MTV, and my big sneak, like the thing I wanted to see more than anything was MTV Spring Break,

when they would do like Fred Durst blowing up the ship in the water, and all the girls, they would do wet t-shirt contests. And I remember waking up and sneaking to go watch MTV Spring Break. Yeah. MTV Spring Break ruled.

Back then they could have wet t-shirt contests and titties on screen, but not butt cheeks. Right. Yeah. They'd blur out a thong. Yep. Thongs are gross, but full titties. You're like, this is what every spring break is. You just go to MTV.

That's what I thought. Instead of it just being a bunch of dudes fighting. Yeah. The backpack song. Always got the backpack song. Yeah, yeah. With like four miscellaneous beers in there.

He was doing Oklahoma drills. You just can't tell if it's a fight or an Oklahoma drill. And they'll get the chicks to do the Oklahoma drill and if you're lucky

they'll make out. That's awesome. Everyone used to, there always used to be one kid with a backpack. I remember it so clearly. The drawstring backpack. Yeah.

The wife beater. He'd have like one like Sam Adams and one twisted tea. Smelled like deodorant drawstring back. Yeah. The wife beater. You'd have like one like salmon and one twisted tea. It smelled like deodorant and body odor. Yeah, yeah. Speed Stick was the worst deodorant. Ooh, I like Speed Stick. I like Speed Stick.

You do? Ooh, I hate Speed Stick. It makes me gag. Old Spice gets a bad rap. Oh, I've only used Old Spice. Yeah, but people give it a bad rap Really? Yeah

Why? What do other people use? What are you supposed to use? I just bought some Non-Old Spice deodorant Just to like see what it was like I was looking for something But none of it's rated as well

On Amazon as the Old Spice Old Spice is like 4.7 These are like 4.3 4.5 stars It's Axe that got a bad rap Axe got a bad rap Even Axe is fine Deodorant's not something

That I would be like I don't like explore. I just use the same one always. Old Spice is, yeah, solid. I used anti, what is it, antiperspirant deodorant. Isn't that all? No, that's just deodorant. Oh, wood.

Wood is the best. Well, yeah, obviously. It tastes the best. That's by far. Has my mic been off this whole time? I use antiperspirant deodorant, and I got really bad rashes on my armpits, like bleeding. I bought some aluminum-free. I wanted to see if that would change anything, because I used to get crazy rashes.

You smell like shit, though. Yeah. Really? I just switch, and it does nothing. Really? I fucking stink. Well, a lot of people don't know the aluminum is actually what smells so good.

Yeah, aluminum smells so good. What's it supposed to do? It hurts you or something? Probably cuts you so it gets in there. Yeah. Sorry I'm late. Sorry, we were just

talking about shows. Okay. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Where were you? Job interview. Oh. Fuck. I think I got it. Nice. Hell yeah. Where were you? Job interview. Oh. Fuck. I think I got it.

Nice. Hell yeah. Good for you. That off your list then. Yeah. Who was supposed to do a job interview? KB. KB.

Well, you did that as tribute. Yeah, I did it as tribute. That was something that sounded like such a good idea when we were coming up with it. Well, the problem was it was a good idea. You can't tape someone without their consent. Yeah. And when you get their consent. The impractical jokers do it all the time.

Hey, when you get their consent. They're impractical. No, yeah, I'm working for the Chive. I'm doing the new Bill Murray flag. Oh, hell yeah. Chive on. I can't wait to see your look. Those guys made so much bank.

Had to have. What happened? They kind of just fizzled out Or what happened It still exists It's like a TV TV channel in bars They never had personalities It was just like

It was just tits Just tits And then t-shirts That said chive on Keep calm and chive on The Bill Murray flag But you can have All the tits in the world

But if you don't have The personality to back up Those voluptuous titties Yeah I forgot they were Showing my apartment And I had some strange strange gadgets and gizmos and trinkets I needed to put away.

Ooh. Did you tell them about the... Yeah. The water? Yeah. And the mold? Didn't tell them about that. You gotta find that.

You gotta earn that. It should be some sort of... You should be able to communicate with the person that lived there before just to find out the weird things. Good app. I already found out that my stove is terrible. Oh.

It doesn't really get that hot, and it takes a while for it to get hot. How much are you doing in the stove? Not the stove. I mean the stove top. Ah. Yeah. I was going to say, are you baking? Yeah, I was making bread.

Broiling. I was making some loafs. It's a nice London broil. Is it a gas stove? No, it's electric.. Broiling? I was making some loaves. A nice London broil? Is it a gas stove? No, it's electric. Okay, I was going to say. I've had many apartments with electric. They're not that bad.

Dude, you're not. I mean, come on. They're fine. No chef. No chef. No. No chef whatever. And also, the refrigerator does not get nearly cold enough.

Oh, no. One of the worst things a refrigerator could do. Yeah, yeah. No, the worst. Mine gets too cold. It's like a freezer. Oh. I kind of like that. I like a refrigerator could do. Yeah. No, the worst. Mine gets too cold. It's like a freezer. Oh. I kind of like that.

I like a little slushy drink. You get some freezer burn on the wrong shit, though. Everything's freezing cold. Frozen cheese. Yeah. Frozen salsa. You can't go back for leftovers. But I usually finish in one sitting.

Yeah, you do. Usually, yeah. You guys wear the same shoes. I think mine are a little bit less expensive. Those 550s? I think his are like $450 and mine are like $120. Yeah. I got the solid N.

Right. You got to fill in your N. You got the hard N. You got the hollow N and you have the hard N. Yeah. It's way different. Significantly different. Huh.

The case race teams came out when I was gone yesterday. Yes. I saw that. You were with KB. Hank is in. Hank's in? Yeah. Great.

Me and Hank are a team. I would put, I think TJ and Zaha are favorites right now. Yeah, 100%. Ooh. Kate and Big Cat. Kate and Big Cat. I think could be up there. How are TJ and Zaw are favorites right now. Yeah, 100%. Ooh. Kate and Big Cat. Kate and Big Cat. I think could be up there. How are TJ and Zaw a team?

They both drink a lot every time. Right in the middle. You got to do the show. Oh, really? Yeah, they have to do the show. Oh, yeah, yes. That makes sense. They are right in the middle.

I bought the stuff, TJ, for my game. Really? Could be dangerous. Obviously. Your game is dangerous? Could be. Super. I wouldn't say super. There is a deadly weapon involved.

True. What, a blade? Yeah. Can you bring a couple knives? Yeah. Okay. Anything else specific? I'll just say it. I bought a Roomba So we're going to play with the balloons Love it

But we're not allowed to lift our feet Yeah, we'll just go around Just wear a lot of socks It's like that Mario Kart minigame We gotta do it See, that one doesn't work Oh, never mind You could have just waited two more seconds Yeah Oh, hell yeah. See, that one doesn't work because that's not a... Oh, never mind.

You could have just waited two more seconds. Yeah, yeah. We throw money down. Yeah. I'll be fun drunk, and we're going to play salad bowl. That'll be super fun. And celebrity. I'm really excited for salad bowl.

Yeah. Celebrity guesser. It's going to be just a great fucking time. And is there a punishment for last place? Or can me and KB just chill and have our four beers? No, there should be. We'll either chill or we'll cheat. Chill or cheat.

All right. Your choice is yours. Or bust. Tim Hitchens, can we get two of his beers? Okay. That'd be last place. He's been dropping. What? He's been dropping Fit Picks. Oh, I know. He's

changing my mind that he's not a loser anymore. It's bothering me. What's he wearing? Jeans? He's wearing Buddha. Buddha Ben full fits. Sweats too Looks awesome That sounds dope And if I see him

Next time I see him I'll deny I said this Whoa I might have been wrong Calling him a loser Fuck It goes with the act You're good

TJ is your dad the fucker Right in the pussy guy He is I think he is No comment I can't believe people fell for that Fake news Oh yeah

People thought that was real Yeah they thought it was the real news It wasn't. Uh-oh. Wait, you think it was the real? Oh, my word. I am. Did you think it was the real news?

I thought it was the real news up until this second. I thought the first one was real news, but then they were chasing that high. You did a lot of fake news ones. Was the first one real? I don't know. Can we find the first one? All fake, TJ? What?

I'm pretty sure it was all fake. You think they let fucker right in the pussy play out on live TV? Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't think about that. He does say fucker right in the pussy. Yeah. I know the weather boy one is fake. Yeah, that one.

I immediately sniffed that one. The boy looks just like the weather. It's his son, obviously. Yeah, this is fake. I'm going fucker. Fucker right in the pussy. yeah this is fake that seemed real this one was fake that's fake right here there's I just assumed

it was a live broadcast. No reporter would give up the mic. Yeah, that was too I don't know, but I don't know. That woman would be

in on a joke. That woman looked like someone who would never joke. She doesn't look like she jests or even pulls the softest of pranks.

These all look real to me. Oh no. Holy fuck. That's real? That seems so real. That's fake? These all seem real. They do.

Shit, so I'm wrong? Wait, wait. Why do you think it's fake? Yeah, how do you know it's fake? Because they wouldn't let that go through the hair. Right. If it's live, such thing as live news. It's a 10-second delay. The network's all off delay.

Are we all speculating here, or are you guys not? I always thought it was real. I'm saying that's real. I think it's real. I think it's definitely fake. The guy when the KFC was out of chicken, and he was just like, I'll just go get a pizza. That was fake.

Remember him? No. Oh. I feel just go get a pizza. That was fake. Remember him? No. Oh. I feel good if this is fake. I feel like I finally got one. I'm usually the one who gets fake. But curses make it onto other broadcasts. How?

What about SNL? They don't have a delay? Because didn't some lady get fired for saying the F word? Did she? Yes. Jenny Slate. Jenny Slate got fired

for saying a cuss word and it went live on the air. She got fired for that? She got fired. I think you get fired from SNL if you don't read directly off of the cue cards. Wow. They're not even supposed to memorize the script.

Fictitious bloopers. What the fuck? They're really well made. Didn't Jameis Winston do it? Yeah. So was that fake? Right after he got the crab thing, and then he stood up in the cafeteria and yelled it. Correct.

Stood up on a table. I got fucker right in the pussy. What? Yeah, when we were doing that video at Penn State, remember? Do you have the video of Jameis showing up when he got suspended in full pads? That was the best. He's like, what do you mean? Coach is like, dude, when you're suspended, you don't dress.

He walked into the locker room fully dressed. He's really funny. Very funny. One of the funniest guys out there. Have you ever gotten him? No, I want to get him on so bad. I know. Yeah.

He showed up. He walked out on the field, and they're like, dude, you're suspended. This exchange between head coach Jimbo Fisher and Winston. Fisher appearing to be confused and maybe annoyed. Sends Winston back to the locker room to take off the shoulder band. A short time later, he emerges like this, and this will be his uniform tonight, another exchange between coach. I loved it.

He's like, what do you mean, coach? Yeah. He's a gamer. I loved it. He's like, what do you mean, coach? Yeah. He's a gamer. He is. I wish I knew exactly what he said, because I guarantee it was hilarious. He says the funniest shit. Just like in his pregame speeches and shit. And all his off-season training is always so funny.

When he's getting whipped by like... He's getting chased by a dog and getting whipped by a towel. There's still good chapters of his career. Agreed. There's still going to be some crazy... James 101. Yeah. You should get his ass back on.

Has he ever made a Pro Bowl? Yeah. Of course. Steven's a James hater. James 101 is actually hilarious now because he just compares his stats but then takes out all the games that he had like kind of an injury. That's fair. Hall of Fame trajectory if you take out his games where he played without

where he took out the games that he played with a broken back. Yeah. And a messed up finger and all this stuff. It's very funny. That's very fair. Still a Hall of Famer in my eyes. Working. Hall of Fame loading.

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You're going to love it. The best Jameis is the Harbaugh Jameis. Can you find that, TJ? You guys have all seen this, right? What is it? When Harbaugh did a thing for ESPN where he was mocking combine questions for prospective draft quarterbacks, and he sat down with Jameis and he just grilled him.

You've never seen this? No. Put on your headphones. It's an all-time clip. Sex edition? You got a problem with sex? What? You got a problem with sex? You're a sex addiction? You got a problem with sex? You addicted to sex?

Sex addiction or something? No, sir. Why does he say it so many times? They're trying to put a lot of pressure on you, right? You're a sex addiction? You got a problem with sex? You addicted to sex? Sex addiction or something?

No, sir. You got a problem with sex sex yeah, you addicted to sex sex addiction Sex addiction addicted to sex Promise sex I think he did it because what was this context there fucker right in the pussy, and then he had an Uber issue, right? What was the Uber issue? He groped an Uber driver? Correct. He was thinking of the word combo and tandem and said best condom in the NFL. Yeah.

Who said that? Jameis. Yeah, he's got a sex edition. Which was a laugh a minute. It was very funny. He said best condom a sex addiction. Which was a laugh a minute. It was very funny. He said best condom in the NFL? He was thinking of tandem combo. He said that's the best condom in the NFL.

That's very funny. Sounds like a guy who has a sex addiction. Yeah. Safe sex addiction. You obsessed with condoms or something? He had a sex problem? You love wrapping your dick? You like wrapping up your dick?

You like to cum? You like to cum, don't you? You don't like to feel it? You don't like to feel it? You don't like to feel your penis in the vagina? Mate, you do. I got a wife. Are you addicted to cumming?

You don't have a wife, though, but you like to cum? Yeah. You got a sex issue? Yeah, you addicted to cumming? Yeah. The fuck? How do you cum when you can't even feel it? When you cum?

Huh? Oh, you don't use them, right? You like to bust? You're a cool guy. You addicted to busting? Addicted to busting in girls' bellies? Baller bust. Do you think you could run combine interviews?

Could you get in? Could you ask questions? I don't know what I would ask. Is that like a real thing somebody would ask during a combine interview? Yeah, it's fucked up things. What's a fucked up thing they would ask? Yes. Des Bryant question. Jeff Ireland asked Des up thing they would ask us? Yes. That's a Des Bryant question.

Des Bryant, Jeff Ireland asked Des Bryant if his mom was a whore. Or if she did crack or something. What? Yeah.

Very fucked up. I think you, yeah. And why? It's to like steal them? It's to like steal them for the reality of the media?

Well, there's a lot of like questions like are you a cat or a dog? Okay. Like that kind of shit. Like seeing how you're wired. But yeah, there's been people asking

if guys are gay. Google the most fucked up combine questions. I think the Lions ask if you're on a bus and the brakes get cut out and the brakes get cut out, where would you want to sit on the bus?

Ooh. It was end of its day. If you're on a bus and the brakes get cut out, where would you want to be sitting on the bus? Driver's seat. Control your own destiny. Yeah. You'd rather be in the back of a bus, maybe the least impact. Aren't you supposed to sit right behind the driver?

Maybe. I don't know if there's a distinct right answer to that. Do you find your mother attractive? Jesus. You like men? When did you lose your virginity? Okay. He didn't answer, so he probably hadn't lost it.

Is your mother a prostitute? There's that one, yeah. What's your murder weapon of choice? Oh, my God. What is your murder? Yours is a knife. Bear hands. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, the speeding bus. Where does the sun rise and where does it set? Who'd they get with that? Derek Carr? No, it was a ram. Oh, Jared Goff. Jared Goff on Hard Knocks. Yeah, got it wrong.

What color is chocolate? White. Brown. White chocolate doesn't have any chocolate in it. What? White chocolate doesn't have any chocolate in it. It's just sugar. What?

White chocolate isn't even chocolate. What color is melted snow? Yellow. These are tough questions. It's like how many ping pong balls in a 747? How many light posts in Manhattan? The Seahawks do something interesting. So their big thing is competitive toughness,

and they want you to be competitive in everything you do. So they'll have a position coach have a staring contest with you or like arm wrestle you are you afraid of clowns what a great question if you answer no then you're a psycho but then you want them oh what would you answer that am i afraid of clowns yeah no there's many things no i am very afraid of clowns why why are people ever afraid of clowns saw it as a kid way too young it is a kid way way too young locked me up for a long ass time everyone has those two or three i think we discussed this before but everyone has those two or three movies that your parents should not have let you see. It just kind of

sticks with you forever. Mine was The Gallows. What's that? Some terrible horror movie. You guys texting the same person? No, I fucked up a post that I made. I watched The Gallows when I was at a sleepover. Actually, I was not too young to see it.

I was probably in ninth grade, but I was really high. This is a Mickey Mouse club. It was the first time I had been high. You were really high as a freshman? Yeah, I started smoking weed when I was in eighth grade. Holy shit. Yeah. Damn, dude.

You're a fuck up. So did I. And I stopped when I was in ninth grade. Oh. Yeah. Trial and error. So you were in tenth grade being like, yeah. Not for me. I used to do that shit. Yeah. Trial and error. So you were in tenth grade being like, yeah.

Not for me. I used to do that shit. Were you a bad kid? No. Dropped out of college. Did drop out of college. I did. Maybe.

I think you were a bad kid and you don't know it. You dressed like a bully from the Simpsons. Yeah. Yeah. You dressed like the guy I would bully.

Oh. You would bully someone from Antifa? No, never. Exactly. Those are my brothers. Exactly. Grant would get high in eighth grade and just DM me. And I would chill with you.

You DM me and the boys. Me and my Twitter friends. I smoked weed like once in eighth grade and I didn't get high. I remember we were in group chats like in 2015, like talking about our favorite strains. Yeah. Damn. And I stopped smoking weed.

Yeah, so I smoked weed like once in eighth grade and then I started smoking weed really in ninth grade. And then I stopped in ninth grade because I got caught by my parents. Did they have like a scared straight talk with you? No, it was way worse than that. It was like emotional. My dad's drug talk with me was just don't do heroin. It's a good drug talk.

He's like, I did it all. Don't do heroin. That's what it should have been. That's what dare should have been. Yeah, pretty much being like all these other drugs, try them, don't do heroin. Yeah. I don't know, it worked because I don't smoke weed anymore and it's probably because of that because I got. Don't do heroin. Yeah. I don't know.

It worked because I don't smoke weed anymore, and it's probably because of that because I got so fucked up from that. Yeah. They made me. I was like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, you guys won. I'm never smoking weed again. This sucks. KB, you really tapped into the kids.

The fact that you like some and don't like some. You like sass. You're tapped into the kids. The fact that you like some and don't like some. You like sass. You're tapped into the kids. You are. You like sass, but you didn't like Sartorius. You have favorites of the little kids. Grooming. You have an eye for boys.

You just have an eye. You have a very discerning taste for good boys. Yeah. Baby Gronk? No. Baby Gronk sucks. Is he like just the laughing stock of the world yet? I haven't been paying attention.

He's so bad. No, he will be. Oh, bad. When he's older, yeah. It's just his dad making him do everything. Yes. Yeah. What a disgrace of a family.

Any good ones, though? Any kids you have your eye on? I guess that kid reporter who's at the NFL games. You had 1,500 yards. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. I don't know. I'd defer to KB on this one.

No. Any good kids? No. No good kids right now? Being a kid drought? I'm making them like they used to. This generation of kids, man. No good ones.

What about Luka two times? You ever see him? I'm making them like they used to. This generation of kids, man. No good ones. Oh, Beth. What about Luca Two Times? You ever see him? At the food review kid? Yeah. Yeah. What about George, the kid who goes to Detroit Red Wings games? What does he do?

He goes up on the Jumbotron. Everybody claps for George. Oh, that's awesome. He's the one who stares it down. Yeah, he stares down the camera. You guys haven't seen George? No. He's a good boy.

Yes. Put him on your list, KB. I'm not tapped into kids. You are. Oh, that's George. Where is he at? There he is. He's a good boy.

Yeah, he is. Don't break, George. You boo? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Little side eye.

That guy wearing a Wimbledon jersey? A what? No, it was Vancouver Canucks. I'm just curious because I want to know if there's like another eighth or ninth grade little Sasquatch out there that I could start a podcast with. I'm sure there is. Yeah, I'm trying to think of funny kids. I'm not really tapped in these days. The TikTok algorithm really like separates the chaff from the wheat, the men from the boys.

Like if you're looking at like eighth graders TikToks. I've never gotten like eighth grade. I was on sixth grade like Toronto TikTok for a while, but never eighth to tenth. What were the sixth graders? They were all jumping into a puddle on schoolyards. That's probably pretty funny. Gritty offs in a puddle. Could you see Roan working with them?

Yeah, could we banter? I don't know who's up next. Maybe it's up to you, Sass, to, like, find who's up next. There's a kid ump that's going viral every day. Oh, yeah. I think he's... Kid ump? Is he Korean?

I've been saying we need, like... Oh, he umps from the stands. Savant... Oh, no. There's no way he can see the plate from here. We need savant Koreans behind that plate. Why? Why Koreans?

You want like a 60-year-old dude or a Korean who can see center field like it's right in front of him. I kind of respect a kid like this, though. It's like I just want to be an ump. I don't want to play. Yeah, but you think that's actually that, or you think his parents are like this is actually working pretty well for us, so let's keep it. Yeah, he's probably like I want to play. Yeah, but you think that's actually that or you think his parents are like, this is actually working pretty well for us so let's keep it.

Yeah, he's probably like, I want to play. Look at the views. They show him the views. No way he's like, I want to ump. You want to do this. Look how many numbers you're getting.

I should imagine he's like, just got Joe West poster on his wall. Yeah. Someday. Jim Joyce. Look at the balance in our creator account.

Controller alone. Oh, he's umping this game? Yeah! Look at the balance in our creator account. Controller alone. Oh, he's umping this game? Yeah! That player's a pussy, though. I would have just fucking slapped that kid. But the way that kid flinched, he might want to be an ump. Yeah.

I fucking hate that. Why? I don't like that guy. I didn't like the guy. Oh, the player. Yeah. That's like the Glo don't like that guy. I didn't like the guy. Oh, the player. It's an act. Yeah. That's like the Globetrotters of baseball.

Yeah, the Savannah Bananas. Yeah. Savannah Bananas. I hate that one guy with the long hair. They love themselves. I'm a big Savannah Bananas fan. I am going. At a moment. I'm a hater.

You're going to a Savannah Bananas game? Yeah. Are you going to Savannah this weekend? End of April. We've got to get you in the game. Joe Rogan posted a Savannah banana clip. That would be the worst thing I've posted. I'm not into that.

I'm probably not going to like it. I'm not into that. Have you watched the clip? I don't like it. Why are you going to that? You're going to hate it. They're going to be doing a synchronized line dance. You're going to be in the crowd.

Yeah. I know. I know. And when I bought the tickets, I realized that. It's not all about you. Are the tickets expensive? They're way too expensive. There are some cool things.

You made it fucking more appealing, I guess. Don't they do some innings where if a fan catches the ball, like it's an out, they stop playing regular baseball. That's cool. They invented their own rules. But, an out, they stop playing regular baseball. That's cool. But I mean, we're talking about them. Smart by them. Back basketball. Savannah Bananas baseball. I got minor league teams in my DMs. I want us to come out after we mention them.

Trent Thunder gave me dates. The Bananas are probably going to want to come out. Offer us more than that. Let us play them, but we get a tee. They want to get us on a call so that you guys can do whatever you want. We get to play tea ball. I want Stephen Che bobblehead night. And I won't budge for anything else. Yep.

He's got to have his cock out. Yeah, bobble cock. Yeah, the cock has to bobble. Oh, he's got to be licking a pussy. Yeah, he has to be in between thighs with his head going. Yeah. Yeah. Those are our offers.

That's our deal. It has to be graphic Like It's gotta be the lay down With the feet behind The scorpion Actually But they can blur it out

You can Yeah No they can blur it out On the bobblehead Yes Yeah Pixelate it Yeah they can pixelate

The bobblehead Also want A one year pass To Rutgers dining hall Oh Oh I want that too. Yeah. I've been craving some dining hall food, a fucking buffet, wet eggs.

Adult dining hall should exist. Yeah, I wish we had. In New York, if there were like five of them throughout the city. That would be so awesome. Which dining hall? Brouwer, Livingston, Cook Douglas. Does Livingston still have the kebabs? Livingston's the best one. Yeah, let's go Livingston. Cook Douglas. Does Livingston still have the kebabs? Livingston's the best one.

Yeah, let's go Livingston. We have Neptune Night, just a bunch of unlimited lobster. What? Neptune Night, they do it once a semester. That can't be very good lobster. I always love the dessert that you could just go up to the ice cream machine and get all the toppings. Powdered lobster.

We could, but I would take a dining hall card. Yeah. Baruch, step up. Come on now. You think there's one right across FIT? You think there's a dining hall we could just sign up for? No, the fashion kids aren't allowed to eat. No.

It's fashion. Skinny. You probably have an Adderall dining hall. Come on. Air. I'd like to go to that. Is this the origin? Yeah.

Still sign me up. In. Yeah, we've got gotta get some Adderall for the case race so we don't talk as much no we don't yeah that was one of the dumbest

things you've ever done when I used to take Adderall when I was younger it would be like if I took it I wouldn't talk for the whole day so I was like

oh this will help yeah it did not have that effect when you mix it with alcohol that's how I know Pat will take it and take a nap. Yeah. Chills him out enough to be able to relax, and I will smoke 20 cigarettes and not be

able to function. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking strong. I was fast talking. Yeah. Your words had weight. Yeah.

I can't wait. I can't wait for another four hours of me being drunk online to get out there. Dude, we're going to have fun. It's going to be fun. All of us. It's your birthday. We've got to celebrate your birthday with embarrassing. My favorite part about case races are Sass's texts Friday morning.

Yeah. Like, that was fun, guys. Oh. I do anything? I can't do it, dude. You're going to be fine. You'll have Hank with you. Hank will tell you.

The one I wasn't here for, you guys made me feel anxious. That was the worst one by a lot. Just reading it the next morning, I was like, oh my god, what did they do? I felt so anxious for you. We're gonna have fun. It's gonna be relaxed. We don't have to race. When we're racing, we don't have

to race like crazy. I'm just excited to play salad bowl. Salad bowl's gonna be fun. We might bring in some play salad bowl. Salad bowl is going to be fun. We might bring in some little pub snacks. All some nuts. A little spread. Salty. Sounds really nice.

I want to do a Mr. Beast-like game to the DoorDash Man. Did Mr. Beast get cancelled? Getting cancelled repeatedly. What happened? We're just doing good things. Yeah, people are tired of good deeds for attention

so we stopped doing good deeds all together what's the new drama one of his so he has friends Chandler

Chris and Chris is transitioning and he's getting cancelled for that he's getting cancelled for

transitioning for his friend transitioning one of the beast crew is transitioning to a female and they're getting cancelled for that I feel like the beast fans would love that One of the Beast crew is transitioning to a female.

And they're getting canceled for that? I feel like the Beast fans would love that. No, they're like, old Chris would bully the new Chris. Is Chris the one that looks like Shawn Mendes a little bit? No. Chandler's my boy. Chandler Hollow? They're all like that, though.

Aren't they all non-binary? He just rolls with a pack of non-binaries. That's not true. Chandler's not. And Chris had a kid. You can have a kid, bro. Huh? You can have a kid and be non-binary.

It's not like he... Well, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm going to go ahead and sit my ass down and listen. I don't know what I'm talking about either. They're all wearing nail polish all the time. They're all wearing nail polish? Yeah. I assumed things. Beast Crew is fluid. Yeah. They're all wearing nail polish all the time. They're all wearing nail polish? Yeah.

I assumed things. Beast crew is fluid. Yeah. They are. None of them fuck. They're all asexual. That ain't true. Chandler fucks.

Yeah. Beast fucks. Beast fucks? Yeah. Why didn't they call him the beast? Oh. Fox.

But I thought he was like a gentleman. That's why he got mister. That's because he makes them cum. Oh, okay. It's just penetration makes them cum. Oh, okay. It's just penetration. No shit.

Yeah. Okay. Damn, Mr. Beast. Yeah. There's no way he's fucking. You know, he's only 19. He's been 19 for so long. He's like 22.

He's my age. Imagine if I was just worth $200 million or however much he's worth. It's insane. He just gives it back every time. But he makes $200 million or however much he's worth? It's insane. He just gives it back every time. But he makes $250 million when he gives it back, yeah. What happened to David Dobrik? He really took a hit.

Can we do a yak thumbnail? Oh, he made his pizza place that like crushes. Oh, does it? Oh, does it? Can we do a yak thumbnail that looks like a Mr. Beast thumbnail? We got real red lips and white teeth.

Yeah. His thumbnails are the best. Yeah, he's got a yak thumbnail that looks like a Mr. Beast thumbnail? We got real red lips and white teeth. Yeah. His thumbnails are the best. Yeah, he's got a good thumbnail guy. You need a good thumbnail guy. We got a great thumbnail guy. We do. I mean, it's not Mr. Beast's thumbnail guy, but we got a good one. Would we let ours go for Beast's thumbnail guy?

Yeah. In a heartbeat. Yeah. So don't be too comfortable. That's Connor, right? No, it's Garrett. Garrett. Yeah, Garrett Yeah Garrett Garrett

We got a squad working on these days We got a team for thumbnails We got a rotation on thumbnails Damn Fuck yeah Thumbnail team Who's today's thumbnail day? Who's day is it?

I wanna say Will Sparks It's Will Sparks or Garrett Well tell Will we're gonna all be looking Will's working on our case race intro for Friday Oh The last one was so good What's the theme of this next one? Or do you not want to tell us?

I'll leave it a surprise. It is inspired by the intro to a video game series. Petrus. Donkey Kong. Is that a new Tetris movie coming out? It looks so good. A Tetris movie?

Yeah, Taron Egerton. Who the hell is that? He's the Kingsman man. Is it the story of a Tetris champion? Yeah, Taron Egerton. Who the hell is that? He's the Kingsman man. Is it the story of a Tetris champion? He's Elton John. Oh, the actual building of the game. It's something with Russia and the Cold War. Looks cool.

I saw the Super Mario movie with my son on Saturday. Good? So good. Did he make it through the whole movie? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. He's seen a couple movies.

He loved it, but I loved it more. It was really entertaining for adults. 96 on Rotten Tomatoes, right? Audience score? Audience score. I'm not sure. Probably. Did you see that little kid's review of it?

He's a good boy. He just said everything was good. Chris Pratt was good. That's how movie reviews should be. Yeah. It was good. It was good. That's what he said.

Overall, pretty good. It was great or it was bad. Real good movie reviewer. Wow, that is how it should be. Yeah. It's not like that ever, though. Good, great, bad. If you talk to a film guy, they will find a problem with any good movie.

True. All right, I'm going to take my kids. It's weird that film critics have to critique kids' movies. Yeah. You just need kids to do it. They don't know. Yeah. Okay.

Did you get popcorn? Oh, yeah. Go all out. Big tub. M&M's in them. My son's in a phase right now where I'm in an abusive relationship where he'll hit me and then he'll be like, you know I love you, dada. What the fuck?

The last time he just like, he came up and hit me and he's like he kissed me he's like I love you so much like that crackhead that was attacking that bouncer did you see that video where he's like

I'm on medication I'm sorry I love you man and then he's shoot him in the head that's the best video the best video of all time is that a bouncer

I thought that was just a guy outside like the project it's the relationship with you and your son exactly it is a toddler yeah

it's just toddlers are the most emotional what your son did is just what works for, yeah. They're just toddlers who are the most emotional. What your son did is just what works for adults. Right. Well, it's also like when you realize once a kid gets three-ish,

their emotional stability is just so second to second. It's wild to watch. And he's just figuring out you could have your cake and eat it too. You could be mean to someone and then just tell them

that you like them and it further enables you to always be mean. The only reason, so I'm hoping it's just a phase. But yeah, last night was funny. Just smack me. I love you. You know I'm doing this for you, right? Yeah.

Just want you to get better. Know that you're still my number one girl. Sometimes you just frustrate me. Baby, this is all for love. Nobody else can get to me the way you do. Take this as a compliment. Nobody else gets me to act like this. You get me quick to anger so fast.

You're so crazy. Nobody else can even get me mad. Compliment. You make me feel so many emotions inside. I'd be such a good dickhead. You do remind me of that, Nick, you remind me of that super popular comedian. Thanks, man.

That fucking strong, handsome young guy who was on Wildin' Out. Who? You know who I'm talking about? Matt Rife. Matt Rife, yeah. Oh, he's been around. Yeah, he has been around.

Yeah, Wildin' Out when he was like 12. What a set of lips. He's teetering on being an it boy. Yeah, he has been around. Yeah, well, now when he was like 12. What a set of lips. He's teetering on being an it boy. Yeah. He's just charismatic in the same way you are, Nick. He's the comedy guy for the kids. Yeah. TikTok's so crazy.

For hot girls. He has like 360 million viewed TikToks. Yeah. What the fuck, bro? I think people were saying that he just signed like a multi, multi-million dollar deal with Live Nation. That's Nick to me. Thanks, man.

Is that him? Of course. Why is that guy looking at himself? Do the shirtless one. Is that like a movie scene? Yeah, this is Nick. This is Nick to me. This is what I think of Nick.

Jay, can you cut to me? I just need to look at my face I can see it Yeah It's Nick And just personality wise Charisma wise Just charismatic guy It's just all women

At his shows too And they're just like You're fucking hot Dude I watched I watched a clip From his special And I saw It's like all

It's a lot of girls, and then there's a couple dudes, and there was one big fat dude. And I was like, oh shit, so it's not just girls, he's got some dudes in the crowd. And then it panned over to the front of the guy, and it's a big ass dude, he's wearing just a full mesh shirt, lipstick on, everything. Eyelashes done, and I was like, oh, okay. The audience wants to fuck him. Yeah.

Just like Nick. Yeah, I guess. We have everything in common. By the way, GameTime, exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports, created by fans for fans. GameTime is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last-minute deals on tickets to sports, concerts, and shows, and they guarantee the lowest price. Billy Joel, Mets, the Yankees, we got hockey playoffs, NBA playoffs.

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Promo code YAK for $20 off your first purchase. Are you nervous about the Sixers? This is kind of a do or die playoffs. I mean, MVP probably for Embiid, right? Well, this is bad. This is bad. Harden led the league in assists. This is bad how you started this.

Okay, all right. Harden led the league in assists. So it's like, if you look at the season on paper, objectively super successful. Would have been the first seed in the West. Nope. No, they need to win a championship this year. Otherwise, Harden's probably going to leave, and Embiid has scratched his ceiling.

It's tough to see further upward mobility. They get out in the second round, you've got to get rid of Doc. But this could be the year. You really never know. Right. It could be the year. Tyrese Maxey about to get paid, too. Yeah.

Maxey's going to get paid. That was mean. Who's that? Tyrese Maxey about to get paid, too. Yeah. Maxey's going to get paid. Oh, that was mean. Who's that? Tyrese Maxey? Can't keep up? No. I swear I've been studying all year. I saw that every retired player that's ever won a scoring title in the NBA is in the Hall of Fame.

That's crazy. Interesting. Where's the Basketball Hall of Fame? I guess it kind of makes sense. It's really disappointing. Frank went to all four Interesting Oh yeah they got like Shaq's shoe there Yeah their shoe

Carmelo not yet I'd imagine he will be If Philly makes it to the final game Would it be the first city to lose the Super Bowl World Series? Not that we would lose. Oh, and also the MLS. MLS, can't forget that. Oh, yeah, that's right.

We'd be the first city to do all four. We just won the G League championship, so that's kind of all out the window. You see the second league? Yeah, the Bluecoats. What's your team name? The Bluecoats. Oh, yeah.

Second most important league yeah so one of the blue coats are the best g league team how good of a team is this would they beat like one banyanas french team yes yes they're but they and two guys just got called up to the six roster and they both put up like over 20 when you're on a g league team if you're a good g league player you split time can't get a two-way contract. Yeah, two-way contracts they made now. It's kind of back and forth. So, yeah, championship drought is over. But it would be unprecedented.

I think in, like, 1980, around 1980, a bunch of other, like, Philly teams made it to, like, the finals, and the Eagles lost the Super Bowl. But it would be unprecedented. It's unlikely, but if it's ECF Bulls versus Sixers, who are you rooting for? The Sixers. Wait, did you say unlikely? Yeah.

It's never going to happen. Bulls are not good. You know who's good? The Celtics. You don't even have to worry about it. The Bulls got DeRozan. They got Eric Rose. They got Hooch. They got Pooch.

Right, right. Kobe. Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Kobe. Kobe White. Kobe White. T. Rose.

I watch him dap up the social media. Yeah, for an airhead. Or no, for Haichu. Yeah, that's fun. Pat Bev didn't want the yellow Haichu. But then they did. The Nets stole that. All the teams are doing that.

All the teams have the same like 23 year old girl doing the tiktoks right what do you think about the next steven i mean i appreciate your uh optimism but the bulls are bad they're sick they're about to they're about to win too there's nothing to it there's no twist or turn it's just all the same and it's cool. That room is so red It looks like the room it's like gamers a being an athlete is so cool. Yeah, so NBA. Yes NBA is cool, especially because there's a finite number of these MLB to These two goofball I look butter place candy he Jones Show Oh, Butterfingers. That's not the candy. E. Jones. Better pump this thing. Shoe. What is this?

Hi-Chews? I think they're Hi-Chews, yeah. You did the jellyfish? I don't know if I've ever seen that. Hey. Hey. Hi-Chews? What?

What kind of fish is this? I have other flavors if you want. Obviously, Dior head to toe. Sweet. I will. You think the Knicks are going to be making some noise? Yeah, I think they could definitely beat Cleveland. Okay.

I hope they beat the Bucs. I hope they beat Cleveland and the Bucs. Oh, no, the Bulls. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow, Bulls, Knicks. I found the video of you and your son. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Bulls, Knicks. What about my Pacers? What about Tyrese? This is the best video ever. This is so good from last night when I was trying to put my son to bed. Oh, I saw. This is amazing.

I thought this was fake. I've been having problems with you. And you know what, man? I want to apologize to you, man. Okay. I hadn't had my medicine in. I'm on psychotropic medicine. You know I'm schizophrenia, you know?

Right. I hear voices. I see things. they say this is not really there and I just want to apologize to you because I was wrong hey you know I've been working all day I've been working for 12 hours all day can you just shake my hand of course that's all I've been one was an apology from you that's it that's all I'm just trying to do my job sir but you know what sir i was thinking about sorry come on hey you going to fucking jail man you know what i get the fuck off my property fuck go yeah that's exactly how my i think he tries to come back he does Bitch, I got money now. I got motherfucking money now. You know what? You set that up perfectly. I'm a schizophrenia motherfucker.

I'm gonna kill your mother. Hey, you know what? I got my knife in my pocket. Hey, you better not bring that knife over here. Yeah, it's gonna die tonight. Come on. Come on. You got a gun?

Come on, motherfucker. Come find out. You got a gun? Come find out. I don't think you got a gun. Right. He's a rinky-dink motherfucking cop. Oh, rinky-dink.

That's brutal. Hey, you know what? I was, hey, big bro. I told you I'd take medication. Calm down, man. I don't know what you're going with me. I just lost everything. Oh!

Oh! I just lost everything. Ow! Ow! That's hilarious. I'm sad, but hilarious. Crack is such a performance enhancer, mentally and physically. Jesus Christ. Oh, you're right, bro. You see these guys, I mean, if they weren't on that, they would be nothing.

Angel dust. You ever see, like, cops mean, if they weren't on that, they would be nothing. Angel dust. You ever see cops when someone's on angel dust and they have the strength of a hundred men? Yeah, they're getting tased. Running through walls. Nothing you can do. They said in Iraq, the enemy that they face, whoever that regime

was. Oh. Breaking news. Wake up, Minty? Breaking news. Oh. Devin White. Whoa, Steven. This is now, for everyone who doesn't know,

Devin White is the player that Steven, he cried on draft night. Didn't want him. Out of anger. Wow. What the hell, Steven? What are your thoughts? Oh, no, Steven, we need an immediate thought. Is that real?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, Schefter reported it, too. The sound? So, Steven hates this guy. Well, he, no, Steven is the worst draft analyst of all time they drafted him and he cried and he was like a linebacker at five no please no and then he ended up being really fucking good and now he wants to trade what do you think steven i mean

it's very surprising he wants to get paid a ton of money and i don't know that we're going to pay him and his deals up after this season not the worst thing that's ever happened oh all right so can i release that as an official statement steven shea says get him off the team uh i gotta process this this is completely out of nowhere process it take a deep breath that's it take five take five Turn the computer on. Let's put a pin in it and we'll circle back. And by process, he means spin it to be a good thing. Right? Will this make the Bucs better?

Immediately, no. But, I mean, if they get some draft capital for them. What could they get? A fourth? Yeah, for one year for a guy that once paid a ton. So, I'm releasing an official statement from you. Good. Don't pay him.

That's not. Is that. Oh, shit. I tweeted it. I mean, my bad. No. I mean, let's see what the market value is. What a Roquan Roquan get.

Hundred mil. No, no. Trade compensation. Second. Second round. Second. And the worst. The bad second.

OK. So third at best no no roquan got what did we flip oh no we flipped for the steel yeah we got a second okay something else okay i mean if we get enough draft capital where you get a younger player he's he's he's a i don't want to call him maddening player but he is a he's inconsistent he was incredible in our Super Bowl run. Maybe like a fourth and a sixth? That'd be a terrible offer. Third and a fifth? No.

You've got to take a third and a fifth. Two thirds. Two seconds, we're talking. Nope. Two seconds. Two thirds. He wants out. He has no leverage.

I'll throw in a seventh. Two thirds and a seventh. No. Okay. Because you're going to get a third no matter what. Yes, we're in an impasse. You're getting a third no matter what. Yes, we're at an impasse. You're getting a third no matter what. He'll sit out.

If you walk. I just offered you two-thirds. No. So you're essentially offering the difference as one-third. Yeah. We're getting a third if he walks. Yeah. If you're not going to pay him, he's going to walk.

I mean, it depends on how he does this year. So you want to pay him? We could pay him. He just said don't pay him. Right now, there hasn't been enough of a consistent sample size to – Oh, man, this sucks. What about trade? He got him right into negotiations.

His head was not ready for that. What about a trade? What player would you take? Would you take Brock Purdy? I'm not a Brock guy, so no. Trey Lance? Ooh. All right, all right.

Now we're talking. Now we're talking. What about a Nathan Peterman? I'll go no on Nate Dogg. Trey Lance? Trey Lance plus a third? No. I think we're in business.

No. What about the Ravens' second-round pick? From you guys? Yeah. What about the Ravens' second-round pick? From you guys? Yeah. What number is that? Are we talking the 50s? 60. Okay, deal off the table.

Okay. Great. You're stuck with him. You guys are not going to trade Roquan Smith and then pay Devin White? You don't know what the fuck we're going to do. Neither do you. I do. We're going to do some fucked up shit.

Yep. Yeah. We'll do what everyone doesn't expect. I did manifest that Will Levis visit, though. Did I not? You manifested what? I put Will Levis to the bucks in my mock draft today. At what? Hold on. Time. Time box in my mock draft today. At what?

Hold on. You're manifesting him to the box or you manifested him in your mock draft? Both. But you made the mock draft. Correct. So you decide where he goes. But then it came out today that he's going to visit there. Oh, okay.

Got it. I thought we had a data situation where Steven was like, well, I manifested him to somehow fall to the box of my mock draft that I made up. I got my Levis shirt on today. You got a Levis shirt on?

Yeah. Oh, shit, yeah, you do. There it is. I've been manifesting it my damn self, Steven. It's weird seeing you wear a sweatshirt without an animal penis. I know. There's a little penis in there.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Right after the S. Right after the S. Yeah. That's Levises. Tom Stooley. Yeah.

Penn State guy, too. He'd guess that ass back in the day. And he can sling it. When are we going to bring back Guess That Ass? That's a good question. You could. Should I good question. You could. Should I? Yeah.

I thought we stopped the last blog. Chicago's becoming sports and New York's becoming guess that ass. Can we stop it, though, because the queen died? I don't know. We had to retire it. There's no page views once the queen's dead. Nope. She used to click on that blog thousands of times.

She was good at it, too. Damn good. Damn good. Damn your perfect score. What was the last blog, too. Damn good. Damn good. Damn near a perfect score. What was the last blog you wrote on the website? I don't know. I remember back in the day, people started getting mad

because with Instagram getting popular and there was a bunch of Instagram models, we'd do Guess That Ass and it was just impossible to guess. Oh, yeah. We'd be like, what the fuck? This isn't a famous ass. Can't get this ass. It's a new ass. Wait, which one? When is that. Oh, yeah. I was just like, what the fuck? This isn't a famous ass. Can't get this ass.

Yeah. It's a new ass. Wait, which one's, when is that? Oh, wait. February. Oh. All the comments are us. How do you guess the ass without the comments?

I checked the post after that. Keep going. I did one of my own ass once. Oh, have you done a guess that ass? Smutler? Four over five. Yeah, we hired Smutler. He's in the Chicago office.

How come Smutler? That looks like a great game. Illegal footage. What is that? One of the best games out there. That looks creepy. That Chinese surveillance angle. Did you guys guess each other's butts?

Bear? Yes. That's a good question, and I wouldn't mind trying. I would be better at guessing your dicks. I bet you guys would have a really hard time with mine because I got a real hairy ass. And you wouldn't expect it. Steven's got poop in his butt. Yeah, Steven's would be the one with poop.

Look at him. He's crafting. He's locked in. He's like Zuckerberg in the social network. Hell of a movie. Don't. Don't fuck with him. He's trying to figure out how to spin this as a positive for the Bucs.

They're not getting a second. No chance. I mean, if that's the going rate, that's the going rate. No chance. Plus, you'd get more in an offseason where teams have the ability to acclimate him into a defense. If he gets dealt, it would be 100% for a second. Is it a second this year, a second next year?

I don't know. Are the Bucs trying to load up on assets because they don't want to make a move up? Yeah, move up to three maybe. Maybe they package him up in that deal for three. I like that. I like the sound of that. Take Levi's at three.

Take Willie Levi's. He's going to fall tremendously. I've heard similar Yeah I think he's gonna be 25 Hendon Hooker might jump him I'd be surprised Since he's not gonna play This year really

Or for a good portion Of the year Why not? We'll see Draft two and a half weeks away You excited, Rob? Of course, brother I was listening to

NFL show Move the sticks this morning To see him What the heck? Wait, you didn't give us that reaction live. Why'd you save the good reaction for Twitter? Is that real? As TJ was pulling up four different Twitter accounts.

Also, the likes were actively going up. Pretty shocking. That was not on my radar coming into today. Poorly run organization. The opposite. At Locker Room. Weren't they at the bottom of those Locker Room rankings and stuff like that? They have a tight-knit Locker Room.

But like the amenities. Yeah, they're not good to families, right? Yeah. Good to me. They disrespect the family. You're not Buck's family. I sat in the family and friends section, so. Let me just say it again.

I sat in the family and friends section at the building. You're not Buck's family. I'd argue differently. Then he just looks away. Steven is like the. Are you friends or family? Stephen is Katy Perry to the Bucs' Ellen DeGeneres. They were awesome to me as a family member of the Bucs.

I don't know what you're talking about. I never had a problem breastfeeding at the Bucs' stadium. Family to me. Family to me Family to me What are we gonna do Chad What are we gonna do About Tiffany and Brett

About Kwame and Chelsea About fucking Micah and Paul My love is blind Blog just went up on the site Five minutes ago Oh You blogged about it

Yeah I'm gonna do another blog Predicting who gets married And who doesn't None of them None of them. None of them will save me. This is yours, Adam. I have to watch that show.

This is just your lunch. We'll put it here. It is a great show. KB's on it. Chuck's on it. That's a fortune teller. Fortune teller, really? It's a horrible show.

No. It is. Great show. I love it, but it's so bad. Oh, it can be a bad show and love it. There's a lot of shows that are bad that you love. I love it, but it's so bad. Oh, it can be a bad show and love it. There's a lot of shows that are bad that you love. I love it. I want to watch that jury show.

I watched it yesterday. I heard it's good. It's very funny. Is it on? HBO, I think. Okay. What is it about? It's a reality.

Well, one guy thinks it's real and everybody else is an actor and they're a jury for a trial. Oh, shit. They're doing jury duty. No, it's real and everybody else is an actor and they're a jury for a trial. Oh, shit. Doing jury duty. No, it's not Nathan Fielder. That sounds good. Sounds bossing. Sounds bossing. Sounds mad bossing.

Marsden. What's his name? Marsden. Yeah, he's the star. He plays a narcissistic version of himself and it's so funny. I think he's going to be in here. Marston? Yeah.

I'd love to talk to him about Sonic. Pretty handsome. Hedgehog. Is everyone here next Friday? Yeah. No. No. Fuck.

What about Thursday? No. Where are you guys? We're doing Austin. We have a live podcast down in Austin. Oh, nice. Son of a boy that buy in Austin. Oh, nice. Son of a boy that buy tickets now.

Oh, yeah. Tomatoes? Room. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we can get some tomatoes thrown at us, a la you guys. Recommend it. I don't want to steal your bits. What about next Wednesday? That obviously does.

No, we're done with bits. We're not allowed to do live shows anymore. When are you guys leaving? I leave Wednesday. Rowan leaves Thursday. What time Wednesday? I don't know. I could probably go whenever.

Maybe we'll do the draft then. We're doing a draft? It's not rap anymore. Oh, the rap draft. Somebody tweeted me a better suggestion. Okay. Gyro. Ooh.

Oh. So pita bread. Pita bread. I like it. I like it. I like rap more. You like rap more than gy it. I like it. I like wrap more. You like wrap more than gyro? I like the idea of like a...

When was the last time we had a... Like, what's a Y food? Ham? Yogurt? Yellowfin tuna? Yellowfin tuna? In a poke bowl? Mmm.

Yuzu ponzu? Yayo? Yayo? We should all bring that. I can stay around for some yayo. All righto Do you guys want to do gyro or rap? I like both KB, Nick, you guys figure it out between yourselves Discuss it amongst yourselves

These are your two ideas When something's completely wrapped up It's more of a mystery A gyro, we're just going to be staring at the ingredients. The weird ingredients. That's kind of cool. Counterpoint? Nick?

I have none. We're doing rap. Can we pull up the footage of KB eating that burger? Oh, the... I think that was the hardest I've laughed in my entire life. A mollusca. That was so gross. So gross.

Sasha, are you going to go up on the mothership? No. Ready? That's not what he was saying. That's exactly what I was saying. You didn't get passed, he said. You can't get passed if you don't audition, bro. Exactly.

You have to audition there? No. Francis got passed and didn't audition. Francis got booked on a show and then he got passed. At the mothership? Yeah. You got passed and didn't audition. Francis got booked on a show, and then he got passed. At the mothership? Yeah. Yeah. You got to go.

Got to go. No, I don't want to. He doesn't want to. Because I don't want to go up there yet. I'm not ready. He's afraid of the failure. He's imposter syndrome. No, I just don't want to go up and do it.

Oh, God. Oh, no. That's not it, is it? Yeah, the lips. Never do. Oh, no. What's not it, is it? Oh, no. What was the one? Who is that? Oh, no.

That's you, KB. I've worn that shade of yellow? Look at your hoodie now. This is when you have to agree to wear it. So you were wearing a replacement? I wore a New Jersey license plate yellow. What a disgrace of a color. That is the worst one on the rainbow. You have to eat lips first, I guess. So you were wearing replacement. A worn New Jersey license plate, yellow, would have been a disgrace of a color.

That is the worst one on the rainbow. What was the one that was entirely stuffed in an octopus? That was this. Yeah, there was a tentacle in there. It's nuts. Oh, man. No. He said don't eat it.

What the hell? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What the hell? He got wet like five times this afternoon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look rickety there, though. Oh, my God.

That was before the Romanian. Oh, my God. What did you say? What did you do? Come get your bike. Come get your bike. Come get your bike, Steve. This was so long ago.

I'm excited. I still like that. You got to take two bites out of Brandon. I remember this, the hamburger moment well, but not the... I don't remember that.

I don't remember that. That caught me off guard. Do we have the picture of when he was not in the bun and it's just the lips? Yeah, but it's not there. Yeah, it's like talking. That was a you want some eggs ass fit.

Oh, God. Oh, it's so gross. It was like coming out as you cooked it. It would like seep out, it's so gross. It's so vile. It was like coming out as you cooked it. It would like seep out. It was so gross. How is it coming out? I don't know. It's growing.

Oh, dude. I got to go see this. Not for me, man. I'll pass on that one, brother. Oh, it looks like Anna Wintour. That's crazy. That was a year ago. So we'll do Wednesday.

It's my first fucking day. Imagine that, just getting thrown into that. That's crazy. Alright. What, you don't like that? I do. People believe it. Every time. It's like a? I do. People believe it. Every time. Every time.

It's like a couple. I made this for you. Damn, Sash, you got it. I didn't know you were a foldsman. Do we still have our streak going, TJ? Of? 90 minutes? I think so.

Yeah, this has just fully become a two-hour show. Yeah. Well, we can do 90 minutes. Let's just do exactly 90 minutes. What's the 90-minute streak? We're on like 12 in a row. Thursday, we should just do an hour because we have a case race. 11 in a row.

Yeah. So we'll break it Thursday. Yeah. I like doing them long. Yeah. It's fun. You never know what we're going to talk about. Oh, Brandon, yeah. That's. It's fun too. You never know what we're going to talk about. Oh Brandon.

Yeah. It's been nice. Someone did say they're like yeah when Brandon's not here with his Chick-fil-A meal. Yeah. It can go 90 minutes.

It's good that I finally have shed the stigma of being the guy who ends it soon. Feels good. Feels real good. Yeah it's Brandon now. I miss Brandon's ass

though. His goofy little ass. Maybe he should just eat between the shows and come a little bit late to the act so he's charged up. I told him that. I told him that. Didn't register. I don't want to eat now. Yeah.

I can't eat that early. I think he eats every two hours. I think that's his problem. So does Edelman. Does he? Same body. Yeah he? Same body. Same exact body. It's unfair that Edelman has such great facial hair, too. Nick, you went for a run yesterday?

Yeah, I'm not going to make any Ben Mintz jokes until I beat that time. Should we all run with Ben? He is God. I don't know if he did that. I don't know. He's God. I kind of want to hold him. I actually, like, for all the fun we're making, I feel like he would beat about half of us. What if we relayed?

Yeah, what if we relayed against Ben? The only person he wouldn't beat would be KB. Should we relay against Ben, man? I'm so insulted. It's true. I went on a run yesterday. I ran for like 25 minutes straight, and I was just like, how the fuck did he do that? How about if he beats me, I kill myself?

I could beat him in a mile. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I could definitely beat him in a mile. No, you couldn't. Yes, I could. No, you couldn't. Yeah, because you could run that pretty quickly.

Yes, I could. I think that speed is almost his top speed. I could beat him in a mile. When's the last time you ran to any kind of distance? Long time, but I could beat him in a mile. Yeah, you would beat him in a mile. It was probably the Super Bowl. Yeah, I ran that 5K.

I could beat him in a mile. I know I can. I don't think I could beat him in a 10K, because I would just gas out. But if I just sprinted, you can run a mile hard, knowing how much pain it's going to be, but just being like, all right, this sucks.

Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. There's definitely a distance that you can just accomplish even though... I'm not saying I'd be fast. I would ask you in a mile. Probably. Yeah. You said you would? I would run laps around. You're just saying how out of shape you are, and now you're like,

oh, I'm fucking sick. You want some too? You were exhaling your vape as you were saying how low you could run. I'd run laps around you too, bro. I think KB's the only one who could play beat. Fuck you. No, it's all love, bro. Gullyfish, bro.

You say KB's the only one? Yeah, I think. Because KB can run. How many miles could you run? He's doing like a 10-minute pace. So what he did impressive was duplicating his first half pace but overall

I think Jesus maybe not looking around I've done 10 milers at like a 720 pace when years ago fuck I can do a mile in like you haven't so it's on record it's like it's like a public-

How old were you? A couple years ago? When you ran cross country? Never ran cross country. I also feel like people- I think part of the Ben Mintz thing is like a 10-minute pace is very slow. You don't have to run hard to do a 10-minute mile. I ran six miles at a nine-minute pace three years ago.

Right. Mintz is impressive. This is impressive because he did all six miles at a nine-minute pace three years ago. Right. Mincy's impressive. This is impressive because he did all six miles. I couldn't do that. But running one mile at nine minutes is nothing. My max one mile would be eight minutes and 30 seconds. That's where I would max out for pace. Your best time?

No. Yeah. If you walk to work, if you can move around, you can do it under nine minutes. I said eight minutes and 30 seconds. You could do faster than that. I'll run a mile the day that Mincy does his thing. I won't. No problem.

I think that we should just put our heads together and all just do a lap and pass the baton. Yeah. Let's do a lap when he does a lap. We do a lap, he does a lap. We'll see collectively how we do against him. No does a lap. We do a lap, he does a lap. You know? Yeah. We'll see collectively how we do against him. No, none of us are running. No, no.

KB would do the last leg against him, running back to the office through the streets. You would do the final leg because you're our fastest guy, according to Sass. I'm going to the track after this to scout it out and make sure it's good to film it it's all coming together I don't think we're going to be able to pull off

the live pace line I don't think we have the that's fine that's fine for that sort of thing can we have a pacer do it holding like a yellow pool noodle

I don't want no pacer like a homemade oh yeah I don't like how everyoneacer. Oh, yeah. I don't like how everyone's doubting me. This is crazy. That we could run a mile faster than Mincy? Yeah, and that I could run under a 10-minute mile.

That's the easiest. If you can't run under a 10-minute mile, that's crazy. Dude, I... Again, I know that I would be dead after. We're pretty out of shape, people. But here's the thing. There's a difference. I would be dead after. I'd probably injure myself.

I'd be sore for a week. But there's a certain amount of athleticism that everyone should have. I guess you do work out a lot, Ron. You can run a 10-minute mile. That's not fast. Not fast at all. That's not fast, Ron. I'm not crazy. None of us could do it except for Ron

and KB. I think that's fair. I'm going to have to fucking run a mile. Yeah, you should, just to shut everybody up, just to remind them this shit is fucking easy. Why don't we host a race? A Yak 5K. I don't want to run a 5K. Yeah.

Being very specific with my language, I know that if I have to run over a mile, it will fall apart. I mean, you ran, how many miles did you run in LA? It was a 5K. 3.1. How boy was your pace? 3.1. What was my pace, TJ, you remember? I wasn't there for that.

Oh. What did I run that at? Why did you run a 5K? On the treadmill. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. The wheel thing. I forgot that was a whole 5K.

I did walk a little, but I still, I think my pace was still, that was pretty good. Decent. Well, you could probably look it up, because you had french fries as your pace. That's true. Pace car. And I was more out of shape then. Yeah.

Now you're in basketball shape. I haven't played basketball in a long time. Fuck. But you're in basketball shape. It's playoffs. Yeah, exactly. You snap into. Playoff shape. I'm in in basketball shape. I haven't played basketball in a long time. But you're in basketball shape. It's playoffs. Yeah, exactly. You snap into... I'm in playoff shape.

Maybe I'll go for a run today. Come with me. Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm not doing that. I'm gonna go over and play video games. What was the worst part, Nick? Being out of breath, your knees hurting? Seeing my reflection whenever I ran past a building.

Brutal. Where'd you go? Just down the streets? I went up. My dad lives in Hell's Kitchen. I ran by the water. Oh, did you have to run by the trash? Yep. The big dump? That is the worst.

I had to do that and it smells so strong. And I was just sucking down air. Yeah. I remember I used to finish there. I got dressed to go run, which I have never done, and then I immediately was like,

before I even started running, bought those leggings off Amazon to wear under my... You can't be seeing what's underneath. Oh, no, yeah. I wear the leggings all the time. Running leggings? I'll run a mile on Mincy's. You look cool as fuck. We'll tape it in the morning when you set everything up, TJ. Don't. Don't. Just run a mile on Mincy's you look cool as fuck hey I'll just tape it we'll tape it in the morning

when you set everything up TJ don't don't just run a mile today I don't want to run a mile today I mean I could but people are just trying to trick you into running a mile they just

I don't like that people think I can't run a 10 minute mile that's insanity all of us could run a 10 minute mile it's a 6 on the treadmill hopefully let's not get too cocky here, fellas. I mean, I know Ron.

I know I'm out of shape, but this is, this is, Ron could run a 630 mile. Yeah. How much, how long does it take to briskly walk a mile? 15 minutes. Yeah, we could all run a 10 minute mile. Exactly. That's the point. Like, I know I'm out of shape, but I'm not like in a scooter out of shape.

He was in the military. They had fitness. What I do this is. 15 minutes. 15 minutes. I did walk a little of this. How far was this? 5K.

What was it? Was it hot in there? 30. 30.4? 10-minute mile. That's faster than a 10-minute mile. That's 3.1. I'm so fucked.

Nick, you got the fucking Lakers outfit on? I smelled like shit. 35. Okay. Still. Bro, Mintzy's running laps around you. I know Mintzy can beat me in a 6K or 10K. No question.

No question. At least I'm owning up to it. Like, I know. I know he can beat me in 10K. I can run a mile. At least I'm owning up to it. Like, I know. I know he can beat me in 10K. I can run a mile faster if we just did a race. I don't know, man. I guess we'll have to race. Yeah, I think you have to.

I don't know. I think you can't. First mile, you against Minty, and you just run with him for the first mile? Yeah, I'm down for that. You got to try this out before. It's not going to be worth it. I'm not going to try it out before. If he beats you, it's not worth it.

No, I'll pace him for the first mile, and then i'll just beat him right at the end i feel like our potential for injury is like super high i think that is gonna be the only factors that you could pace him and then you could you definitely have it in you to just sprint because also you're not gonna be running five more miles exactly i don't think you should be able to do it the same time as him okay i'll do it before before we do the act that day i will run a mile with tj when we set up everything. Wait a minute, TJ, can we have him run at the track and then put a ghost overlay of you running in front of it?

We'd have to film it exactly the same. Technically speaking, yes, it's going to look like shit. I'm fine with it looking like shit. Can't wait to make the haters eat their words. Even if they're right. Even if they're right. Even if they're right. Well, I'm going to beat the 10 minutes. That's no question about it.

I think I might beat nine minutes. Because you know deep down that's what you have to do. And I'll just run as fast as I can. You can't just beat 10 minutes. Right. And then I'll be like, die. No, it's not going to be worth it for you. Why?

Because the only W you'll get is if you get in the eights. Then you'll be dead. So you got to get in the eights, baby. You'll be proving who wrong. You discourage people from fitness. I think you want to be the only jacked hot one. Same conversation with Brandon. But I'll try to.

Well, Brandon. I'm not Brandon. Brandon couldn't run a quarter mile. I know Che could do it, too. I think Che could. Che would do it in Brandon couldn't run a quarter mile. I know Che could do it too. I think Che could. Che would do it in his fucking Timberlands. You think so, Che? Run a ten minute mile?

Yeah. Yes, I could do that. Everyone should be able to run a ten minute mile. We could all do that. It's not even being a hard-o. You should just go do it right after this. That's my point. Everyone should be able to run a ten minute mile.

It's not that hard. Let's do it after this. I don't think everyone could run a ten minute mile. I have the bracket. I think everyone should be able to. It's not that hard. Let's do it after this. I don't think everyone could run a 10-minute mile. I have the bracket. I think everyone should be able to. It's not that hard. Should be able to. I don't think everyone could.

Brandon obviously cannot. Yeah. It's too fast. There's a lot of things you can't do. Yay. I'd be worried about my heart. I think it would explode. I'm worried about everything.

Yeah. I'm going to get injured. Because when I run with a Fitbit on, it tells me to stop. Listen, I might get injured, but I'm going to prove those 25 commenters wrong. Oh, yeah. And you will. And no chance will they shift the conversation to my breasts looking large as they bounce up and down. I'll have spandex on.

The fact that I wasn't able to run faster than a 930. They won't shift this. I'll get under 10 and they'll admit that I was right. There won't be an image that lasts forever. This won't own me. This won't own me. It will not be owned. No.

I remember back when we used to have to run the mile in high school and you'd just do it and then you'd just go back to class. Yeah. Soaked in sweat. Sweating everywhere, yeah. In high school even you just do it and then you just go back to class yeah soaked in sweat sweating everywhere yeah in high school even yeah in elementary school we didn't change for gym but we would do the mile run like in our jeans yeah yeah all right should we spin the wheel i gotta go do pmt ian barrett i'm calling you out he said Big Cat cannot run a 10 minute mile Are you Ian Barrett?

You're called out bitch You fucking bitch That's some good takes in the past though Yeah he has Oh fuck that Ian Barrett is running away Dry Thank god

I'm not scared of a 10k name wheel. Nice. Dry. Thank God. You also want to call out. I'm not scared of a 10K. I literally can't run a 10K. I know my limitations. 10K is psycho shit. So boring. It's a weird amount of running.

It is a weird amount. 6. Six miles? Six miles. Yeah, 6.2 miles. Ian Barrett, you're a fucking loser. What? You're just such a fucking... You're Gaz Jr.

He is Gaz. Little pot stirrer over here, bro. I could just tell you. I didn't say anything. I know you can run a fast mile. You've been studying barstool lore, dude. I know you can too, dude. I didn't say you can't.

No, you kind of did. Initially, I said only KB and then I forgot that Roan's been going to the gym for a while. Oh, you forget. I just forgot. I just forgot.

And then I said, you know what, Roan and KB. Fucking Gaz Jr. There's no way to know that you've been working really hard on yourself. Basically.

Fucking Gaz Jr. Unbelievable, bro.ami sass now i kind of want to try it just kidding i don't at all okay i thought you were serious for a second the one second between when you said it and just kidding here we go, 53%. All right, we're getting somewhere. Can you make me a shirt that says, fuck Ian Barrett, show your face, you badass? I'll wear that when I'm running.

What is Ian Barrett's account? Because I remember him specifically. I'll wear that when I'm running. I got a couple guys that I know off the top of my head. Curse on your house, Ian Barrett, you fucking loser. I got a couple Reddit accounts and YouTube accounts that I got locked in and i see them i ian barrett was just the first person i saw when i pulled up live chat and he was like

he can't run this i i've actually i've never seen ian barrett in the comments before well now so he might he might have made an account issue an apology video when i run under 10 minutes officially if listen i'll say this ian Barrett stands for the entire comment section. If he doesn't issue an apology video when I run under 10 minutes, the entire comment section is full of Ian Barrett's. You're all lumped in together. You're all cowards and losers and pathetic babies. Enemy number one of the app.

Oh, you got it. I was just going to do it first. I ain't joining in on the fun until you do it. Hey, B, have some faith in your boy once. I'm just trying to think. You might not be able to. I'm worried. Now you guys are making me nervous.

I can tell. Can I not run a 10-minute mile? I mean, dude, you ran a 35-minute mile. You've gone through every stage. We play basketball regularly. I have not played in a 35 minute. You've gone through every stage. Yeah. I don't know. You play basketball regularly. I have not played in a long time. Basketball is different than running. We can all do a 10 minute mile.

I mean, dude, your pace for the 5K was 11 and a half. I walked some of it. Fucking Gaz Jr., bro. How is that? I'm just spitting the facts. And if I got my heart rate up? Yeah. A while.

Probably three months. Oh, well. That's a long time. I'm lifting a little, but I don't think that helps running. Not that much. Nah.

I believe you can do it. Nah, fuck Ian Barrett. Fuck him. I'm going to do it. I'm team Barrett. Mine doesn't matter for 10 minutes. It's making me nervous.

Remember that conversation we had last week about the funniest, most trivial ways to kill yourself? This is it. I just killed myself. I'm like, I'm not running that mile. I'm not.

I'm not just going to kill myself. Nah, nah, nah. Morning of, you just. No thanks. On you, Ian Barrow. Only way out. I don't want to run in public. People see my tits.

Yeah, running in public's the worst. I gotta wear a bra. When I did it yesterday, you just knew. Everybody else had the cool attire. You just knew. I was in the Patagonia baggies and this black t-shirt. One of 50 and it just didn't look right. My Vans

checkerboard slip-on. You can tell when the feet are just smacking the ground. Yeah. There's just no control of your body. Yeah. Even when I run across the street. Oh, yeah.

It feels unnatural. It's like people are turning heads. Their heads are turning. Look at that guy. That's the first time that person's moved their body. Ever. Yeah. It's just a countdown on the crosswalk.

Whenever I do the run across the street, it's just my arms moving faster. It's the most embarrassing thing. Like, let the cars know you're trying. I'm trying. It's all performance. There's been times that I've had to run to the train as hard as I can about to miss it

in my town and everyone sitting on the train is looking at you and that's when I'm like I should just kill myself I had to run because my glasses would fall off my face but I also wanted to listen to music so I had no senses when I was running yesterday It was no bad news You went blind

No, I took them off but I couldn't see shit You run with overhead headphones? I did. I took them off, but I couldn't see shit. You run with overhead headphones? I did yesterday. I don't have earbuds. Oh, damn. All right, I'm going to go do PMT. You guys have to have my back.

It's me versus the chat. And sass. And sass. I have your back. No, you're fucking. I'm going to end him forever. Little gasquatch. Every time you see his name Comment Be like

Aren't you the guy Who doubted Big Cat Yeah shit Yeah you could ruin him Ruin him He could change his Username No

He could just log on To one of his 700 accounts It's all just Ian Barrett's Yeah He's fucking gassing Each other up Keeping his company afloat Stand with Ian

When are you doing this I'll take So I assume The Mincy run Is he in Barrett's? Yeah. He's fucking gassing each other up. He's keeping his company afloat. Stand with Ian. When are you doing this? I'll take... So, I assume the Mincy run we're going to set up a couple hours before? I'll do whatever. I think we're just going to send somebody with a camera to the track. Okay, I'll do whatever. Okay. It's a half mile away, so it's whatever you want to do.

The old one angle on Mincy. That's all we need. He'll be stationary. Well, because we need somebody to run with him back, so we need to be mobile. Oh, shit, you're going to make the camera guy run? Yeah, Stanko's going to do it. Oh, Stanko's fit. It's only a half mile. I can pick that ass out of the lineup.

Stanko's? I mean, I've seen it before. Oh, yeah. Who has the least recognizable ass? Maybe Ron Like a scale from Mincy to Blatman Mine's garden variety Yeah That's not a bad thing I got a cute ass

No it's hairy as hell I got a cute little boy ass The rest of my body hit puberty, and my ass just stayed a child. Like a child ass. Hair sprouted on it like a carnival performer's face. You guys can keep yakking. I gotta do PMT.

I'm gonna run this. No, no, we're out of here. Dick never hit puberty. Yeah. You joke. You believe in me, KB? You believe in me? You're a freak. You're free. You're spir, KB. Believe in me. You're a freak.

You're free. You're spiraling right now. Yo. And it's very easy. I think I'm going to have to run it tomorrow morning. You're going to do it, but it's going to suck, and you're going to feel like shit afterwards and not feel any better about yourself.

You're going to feel way worse about yourself. 9.47 is not going to hit like you want it to. You've got to get an 8.50. Yeah, he's kind of right. You almost do have to. Almost do. TJ, we're running it tomorrow morning. What time?

What do you say? What time? 9.30. Okay. Meet you at the track. Meet you at the track. We'll have it for the act tomorrow. Oh, no spoilers.

No spoilers. It's going to be easy. No spoilers. No spoilers. It's going to be easy. Lock in. Oh, dude, but you're by yourself? No, TJ will be there.

Demons are going to get to you. Steven, you want to come? No. You're a 10. Track is tough. That's so bad. All right, move those. Steven, I need your help.

Yeah. Okay. Yep. What time are you doing? I can't wait for it. Let's go. Prove these idiots wrong. It's a short track.

If I'm not here tomorrow on the Yak, you know what happened. He's killed himself. Because I ran a 1030 mile. All right, fine. Fuck it. Tomorrow morning. Let's a short track. And if I'm not here tomorrow on the Yak, you know what happened. He's killed himself. Because I ran a 1030 mile. All right, fine. Fuck it. Tomorrow morning, let's do it. All right, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'll be there. You'll be there? No. No. Come on. He won't be up. All right. I'll be up.

I'll be hung over. He's going to be moving again. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Results of my mile. Bye.