The Yak - Nick's About to Scribe the Next Sci-Fi Classic | The Yak 3-15-23

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

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It's 20% off performance hoodies, joggers, and polos with code YAK. Damn, Nick. Ready for the spring with Roback. That's right. I got big news today. What? I saw a fire truck. Damn.

Right on the street out there. Sound like my son. Yeah. That's, yeah. We got to start reporting the news like we're two years old. I was a garbage man kid. My mom would have to lift me up above. We had a little window above the sink that went to the back alley. Yeah. Us, yeah. We got to start reporting the news like we're two years old. I was a garbage man kid. My mom would have to lift me up above. We had a little window above the sink that went to the back alley.

Yeah. And I would wave to the garbage man every garbage day. That's my garbage man would bring me candy. That was my first idea of celebrity. Yeah. That was the first famous person. Yep. Really?

Yeah. Isn't it? There's the video of the kid who like cries when his neighborhood garbage man comes around. He's just moved to tears. That's kind of sad. What? There's a show on Netflix for kids called Trash Truck. And it's voiced like Brian Baumgardner is the voice of the bear.

But it's like one of my favorite kid shows that I put on for my son. It's a trash truck that's the best friend of this little boy. It's a great show. What kind of morals are they dealing with? How do they resolve their episodes? Is. What kind of morals are they dealing with? What kind of, uh, how do they resolve their episodes? Is there some kind of lesson? Not really. They just go on adventures, like, out in the boonies.

Sending a trash truck. Yeah. That's really fun. That's fucking sick. Yeah. That's incredible, KB. What's up, bro? Swag. What up, B? Did you ever have an ad lib in your music? Of course you have. What was it? I mean, or I would just go... Did you have, like, a signature? A signature. I wish, dude. What do you mean I mean, or I would just go. Did you have like a signature? I didn't have a signature. I wish, dude.

What do you mean? Like, ha-ha. Yeah. Okay. Exactly like that. Okay. Or like, oh. Yeah.

Oh. Something like that. Got your nose. That was a famous one. That was Biz Marquis. Yeah. We'll say that. KB.

What did I smell bad, brother? That fucking mic doesn't work. Goddamn mic. Dude, I actually do have a big announcement. Tass has a new show coming out today. What? Well, yeah, we got the sketch shows coming out at 7. No way.

Oh, shit. I had no idea. And can I say that you've done a piss poor job of promoting this show? I had no idea. I think it was kind of... Right. You had no idea. Nobody had a...

What's the name of it? Out of Order. Okay. Good ass name. Good ass name. Yep. Because it's a double entendre and it's a bunch of sketches that are, you know... We're going to put it out Thursday, but then we forgot about March Madness.

Right. So we wanted to get ahead of the madness. What are we getting with it? Are we getting one sketch, one episode, a series? It's an episode. There's four. Nice. Who's all in it?

It's long. It's mostly me and Feidelberg. And then there's some guest appearances. A dude named Sean Gardini. Yeah, Sean Gardini's in our... Funny guy. Sean's son of a boy that today. He's Matt and Shane's producer.

He fucking crushed it. You're underselling it so much. It's so funny, and it's so well done. It's really well made. Production value is fucking crazy. Who's on that? Who's on the ones and twos? Like Pavs.

It's a lot of the KFC guys that helped out with it. Tyler. Tyler did a lot of it. Owen. Lighting is crazy. I mean, Owen came up with the entire. It's basically like his creation we've been working on it like oh and i miss him on some joe shit i texted erica today about it just being like this is awesome dude just yeah why did you see it not me what the fuck i sent it to ron i sent it to Rowan at like 1 a.m. last night,

and there's not a lot of sports stuff in it, so I was like, yeah. You'd have no idea what to do with it because it's so fucking funny, dude. We're going to do some sports sketches in the next episode, and I'll send that to you guys. Just make sure it's factually correct. Dude, I am so relieved I don't have to make jokes anymore, honestly.

I'm nervous as fuck to put it out, though. Putting out sketches is really nerve-wracking. I was texting Flutterberg at 2 in the morning about it, and he was the same way. He was like, I'm nervous. You guys have been working on this for a really long time. Yeah, and the thing is, we filmed so many of them. There's only four, like there's pretty much a whole other episode done what i was super impressed with was the pacing of it and i saw another

iteration of one of the sketches and then i saw the one that was in there and you have paired it down which is like a tough thing to do with something that you're working on because it's like you have to kill your babies a little bit it's like was this part a little bit funny was this joke worth keeping in the edit and it's just really tight how long is it you want to say how long it is yeah it's like 15 minutes 15 minutes right perfect and it's fucking people can't handle more than 10 to be honest yeah it's a little long it's gonna be a slog for sure i'll watch the first half tonight it's like everything everywhere you're talking about with oh and i was saying he was like it he was like, this is for people who have an attention span.

He's like, because people are going to not, there's going to be a lot of people who are like, this is way too long for me. But at the same time, though, it's like if you like that kind of thing, if you like sketches, I think this just has me so excited for the future of this show

because it just has so much potential and just such a high ceiling. Yeah, I can't wait to see it. I feel like that's been a gap here, too. It's like you guys did some of those sketch videos a while ago that were great. Yes, hilarious. So I was hoping you guys would do more, so that's awesome. Seven, it's going to be on the main site in YouTube, or?

No, it's going to be on the Barstool Comedy, some YouTube channel. I don't know. I don't actually have any access to that. It's actually it's blocked on my computer try to comment kb and i have a video at seven coming out of us just reading down basketball reference net uh today we are who whose stats are we going through uh we're we're defending that alonzo morning very underrated, I mean, I guess tough to do. I don't know.

It's going to be. You won't laugh at all. Thank God. Yeah. I think the most, the craziest part about the entire thing is that, dude, Feidelberg is like a professional actor. Yeah. It's like shocking. Yeah.

Is he really? I think it's because he's not like shy at all. Yeah. Like I go in and i'm like i have to do like 10 takes before i can get like warmed up yeah and like he's like the first take he's like hysterical and he's he's on uh task as far as like he's not trying to like add in like little like clever jokes that would be out of character he just like locks in on his shit are you in any of them no i just watched it for the first time i time. I have no dog in the fight. I just think the shit is

sick. When you get past Feidelberg gagging off of everything, his goofy outfits and sucking random dick in his bathroom stalls, you'll realize he's a really talented guy. I mean, dude, the last sketch that we did was the last one in the episode is my favorite one by a lot.

I think the premise of it is hilarious and he came up with that whole thing. It's very funny, I think. Yeah, it does. It just gets funnier. The sketches get funnier as you go. Pacing's great. The theme song? No. But there is stylized cuts between

everything. I think you should leave the transition. But it's not trying to be anything. It's not just sucking. Let me suck these boys. Let me suck these boys dry. Just a fucking hell of a project.

Check for that shit tonight. I hope I didn't oversell it, but I don't think you can. I don't know. I've sent this to a lot of people who I know will give like an honest review. Who'd you send it to? Well,'ve sent it to a lot of people who I know will give an honest review. Who'd you send it to? Well, I sent it to Rowan. But that's because I talked to Rowan about it yesterday. I didn't see you boys here.

You haven't known about it for two months. I know, I know, I know. You don't think that Nick's going to give an honest review? I sent it to one of my friends from home who everything I send of mine, he's like, this sucks. So he gave an honest review. He said it sucks? No, he says everything I send him, he says sucks. Oh, okay.

I think you should stop doing that. Because what is your goal when you do it? To know how bad it is. Right. That's so unhealthy. You're looking for bad. He was like, it's pretty good. And I was like, all right.

Okay. Well, it's good. Even if he didn't say that, you guys, you're more comedically sound than he is. Yeah, but he's a good critique. So it's the journey to get there. No, I get what Sass is doing because I think you want to appeal if he's like the general audience, if that's the demographic. Right, but what is, after it's already complete, what are you trying to do there? Scrap it.

Yeah. You're going to, if they said, they gave a battery. Don't be surprised if it goes private after 15 minutes. Sass deletes it. Like a lukewarm tweet. Like, yeah. Oh, my boy, Modson. Oh, yeah.

What's up, Mod? Good to see you, brother. Oh, that guy looks very cool. He's gone through some heartbreak. He just broke up with Avril Lavigne. Oh. What? She's with Tyga.

She's with Tyga. Oh, she's with Tyga. Holy shit. She's with Tyga? Shut up. Oh, my God. Don't say it so loud. Who is his girlfriend?

Very underrated rapper. Adam Levine? Yes. Damn. Adam Devine. Fuck, man. Your body is fucking driving me insane. Is that what...

Oh, that's why Adam Levine was texting That girl that he didn't fuck Yeah I'm naming my daughter After you But we never fucked Yeah This might sound crazy But I want to name

My daughter after you You saw Juan Dixon Got fired He got fired Oh he did I know I forgot about that Entire story

Which I thought would be Ten times bigger than it is Same Refresh the Storyline A player on a college Division one Coppin State HBCU out of Maryland which I thought would be 10 times bigger than it is. Same. Refresh the storyline. A player on a college bat, Division I, Coppin State, HBCU out of Maryland.

A player on the team was coerced, was... Blackmailed. Blackmailed from his assistant coach to fucking him. Catfished. Showing dick pics. Catfished. And then blackmailed. And blackmailed and said,

hey, this same guy's blackmailing both of us. We have to fuck or else he's going to put out our dick pics. We have to fuck, film it, and send it to him. And Juan Dixon, the former Maryland player, former Washington wizard, Potomac legend, was an assistant coach of that team

and he covered it up. I've got to dip out for a second. You got it, brother. Right back. To the store? Plug plug your show get out of here thanks for coming in bro yeah um and no so so then he bailed but his wife is on the real housewives of the potomac right she alleged that he handled everything perfectly she scoffed at the allegation that he did anything wrong. She said that he kicked it up to the proper channels immediately. But at the same time, she's going through some kind of fucking drama where Juan Dixon had a friend flying in from out of town. A friend who's a woman who he'd been corresponding with through DMs on Instagram.

And she said that she lost all her money when she was in town, so he drove to the hotel and bought her a hotel room and just left. He put down money for a hotel room for her and just left. And this is the story he told his wife on Potomac, and she believes it, hook, line, and sinker. So that was in the show she didn't talk about it in the show because it was so embarrassing but then she talked about it on her podcast and then andy cohen's like what the fuck we have you for a reality show that we're paying you for like

why did you not put out this storyline on the actual reality show but she's been like the entire time buying everything was this amidst the controversy or before it? This is amidst all of that controversy. There's like the other controversy going on during this controversy. Some ass. Shit is so fucking juicy. Zod, I know you're with me, Zod. I know you're fucking watching.

Bro, it seems like I'm watching the wrong one. I'm working through Jersey right now. Oh, you're in Jersey? Yeah, I'm on season three of Jersey, so way back. Yeah, bro, shit is unruly, bro. I might start that today. Yeah, you're going to have to because it's fucking deep, man. Or the season's already over.

You could probably just watch it in a day, dude. It's crazy how the heinous discrepancy between standard bad people like me and you and actual terrible people are. They just do a multitude of terrible things. Yeah, mildly mischievous. They just can't help it. And they're just like fucking and lying and fucking cheating.

Ken Shaw. And stealing. Housewives of Utah or whatever. Defrauding. She defrauded old people. Yes. Through like a marketing scam. But at the same time,

I loved seeing her outfits on every episode. Great outfits. Her husband was a coach of Utah. He was an assistant football coach over there. He just had no idea how he kept moving into a bigger mansion every year. Messy, messy. Messy, messy, messy. He just had no idea.

I watch all of that shit, bro. What do you watch, Nick? What do you do when you go home? For real, messy. I had no idea. I watch all of that shit, bro. What do you watch, Nick? What do you do when you go home? For real, yeah. Like, what are you fucking cracking into? Novellas? Little tiny-ass cute novels? Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Candide? Big fan of Twilight Zone. For real? Yeah. What's that on? Amazon Prime. I buy it season? Yeah. What's that on? Amazon Prime. I buy it season by season. Burning through that.

Okay. Makes me feel good. I don't know. You watch it, you feel warm. Isn't it unsettling? The soundtrack is. It's good. It's good.

Yeah, that shit is a little unsettling. Like the old, old, like by the light? Yeah. Very into that right now. What are they, like mysteries? Like a old, old, like, by the light? Yeah. Very into that right now. What are they, like, mysteries? Like, a horse disappeared at a farm. I'm writing a sci-fi novel. Are you actually?

Yeah. You could write a crazy novel. Thanks, bro. Do you want to give us any of the premise or save it? Nah, it's stupid. I'm going to say it, and then somebody's probably just gonna tweet out a better idea or like do it before you steal your idea in full and do the whole thing yeah that's fucked they shouldn't do that but uh what kind of how many pages are you shooting for

and like what size font and what size book are you dude i just write down ideas and then like lines of things that could happen it's just it's it's like when kb like makes fictional brackets i just like doing this it's like an outline a potential storyline yeah and i don't plan on doing anything with it i just uh do it for fun it does sound fun but uh don't you think it'd be fun to complete it or do you think it would just get maddening at some point i don't know how it's gonna end this universe is crazy yeah you ever think about writing the end first and then working backwards what i do for jokes yeah yeah fuck dude the secret recipe i think that's what a lot of people do get like uh can you give an example of? Yeah, what's a good joke that's written backwards?

I was on a rundown with you a long time ago, and Joe Judge had just gotten fired. And I was like, oh, that's like somebody being a coffee snob. And so I got a cup of coffee before that rundown because then it was going to be a topic. And I intentionally took a really loud sip, and Brandon was on the rundown with us. He was like,

what are you doing drinking coffee at 3 p.m.? And I said, who are you to Joe Judge? And he thought it was off the dome. Wasn't at all. That's a great tactic though. That plant it. You come up with the punchline first or you write the whole joke first

and then just try to set it up. Or you just wait and wait and wait for somebody to bring it up eventually. That is a smart tactic. It is. Have you ever done that, Kate? Probably a ton. Like on shows like this?

I usually, I got to really try and plan being funny. It doesn't come naturally. That's exactly what they're talking about. Like putting it out beforehand. Yeah, no, I do that plenty of times. A lot of times I get too excited and just set up the joke.

I just bring up the obscure topic myself. Sometimes you just can't wait. Think about Nickelback. What were you saying about candiru fish, Kyle?

Did you not say anything? I think, no, I actually did that once. I looked up the candiru fish on Wikipedia. We were talking about barstow afterwards. Yeah, it's a fish that goes I think, no, I actually did that once. I know you did. The kandiru fish on Wikipedia. We were talking about barstow afterwards. Yeah, it's a fish that goes in your penis hole,

and I was like, I tried to set that up organically. Did it work? It still kind of works, so it's a great tactic. Where do you think... It's always funny, though, when a social person will come and grab you, and they'll be like, here's a bag of talkies. Now be funny. And that's what they'll say to you.

Oh, yeah. And then just like, what? I'm always like, can you give me a second? And I try and Google just keywords from whatever the topic is so I can try and think of something. And then I'm just like, never mind. I'll just say something really lame. Who in here do you think is...

I do a lot of prep. Kyle. I know what you're saying, Kyle. What? The best at going off the cuff? Yeah. No. Yeah? Like, if. I know what you're saying, Kyle. What, the best head going off the cuff? Yeah. No. Yeah.

Like, if a social person runs up on them, like, who's going to have an answer right away? I feel like there's, it's, like, hard to even rely on anyone. Fleming. Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you're like, okay, list, like, top 15, like, brave short stops. All right. He just has them, like, in reverse order. Frank's never said, like, give me five. That's good He just has them in reverse order.

Frank's never said like give me five. That's good. Yeah, Frank always does that. He's had to take five. Yeah. But that was a whole different thing. Great guy.

Frank Fleming. He's got this new sketch show coming out. Yeah, it's going to be good. It's going to be incredible. Just him and Abe. I fucking miss Abe, bro. I've never met Abe.

I may have met Abe in L.A. Flip-flopping, bro. I think I've met Abe. It's going to be hard to run for office with your flip-flopping ass. No, it'll be perfect. You think so? Yeah. We're going to call you a flip-flopper.

So be it. Did you guys run for class president when you. You think so? Yeah. People are going to call you a flip-flopper. So be it. Did you guys run for class president when you were in high school? Yeah. You did? Yeah. Not high school. Eighth grade. I ran with Devin Eiler, and we ran against Jordan West.

And I forget who his vice president was. You had an election. And Jordan West. As a duo you ran? President-Vice. Okay. I didn't know schools did that system. Actually, no, no, no. I messed this up.

I ran with Jordan West, and we won. Jordan West won. Yes. And our tagline was, we're better than Bush-Cheney, we're West-Terrani. And that was topical at the time.

And Jordan West had just transferred into this private school in eighth grade and so uh the president of the eighth grade class gets to give the eighth grade speech and I wanted to do it so I did like a little psyop I did a little coup and I was just like Jordan like you've only been here for a year. Why do you get to speak on what happened through this whole eight years of school? And so the teacher heard me say it. And she was like, you're right. And I got to give the speech as vice president. No way.

That's bullshit. You probably killed it, though. Jordan West, if I remember correctly, looked pretty funny. He did a – was he the one on vine yeah he was someone put like a a live trout in like a dvd player and then big fish popped up that was a funny ass vine even for the time i think that was him yeah he killed a fish yeah yeah just shoved it in the dvd yeah crammed it in yeah big fish came on the screen was like, that's funny as fuck. Wait, it like, the fish like fell apart as it went in?

He smushed it in. He got taken down pretty quick. No way. Yeah. It was already dead, I assume, or he caught it and it was flopping? I remember it flopping, but I don't know. It was flopping, yeah. Floppy disk.

Damn, bro, that's fucking hilarious. Vine made you be economical with your comics. Coffee disc? Damn, bro. That's fucking hilarious. Vine made you be economical with your comedy. Blu-ray would have been funnier. Damn. That would have been that nuanced shit. Yeah, a little... The movie came up and it was all blue. I was just saying like a...

Blu-ray, like a stingray? Yeah, like a stingray, a blue stingray. And then you put it in there and then a big fish could still pop up, I'd imagine. Kate, did you run for any office? I think I always ran for secretary because I knew I wasn't president material, but I think I could always slide that by. What the hell did a secretary do? I don't even know.

I'm not organized at all. A secretary plans the high school reunions, right? I don't know. So that's the only one that's a lifetime commitment. Yeah, so that would probably be the worst one. It's probably for the best. I was a loser. Did you run?

I ran for vice president. I didn't win. No? I got there too late on the day you put up posters. Ah. The guy who works on the Pat Bev show, Mike Wallace, and I went to high school together, and he was going to run for class president,

but they caught him on security camera doing like like the and one mixtape tour spider move hanging from the

the rim of a basketball hoop like on a security camera and like he got suspended and couldn't run fucking bullshit but it was a sick move like flip your body upside down

and fucking cross your legs underneath the rim probably would have won but that fucking move. He just got in too much trouble. Ruined it. Damn. You didn't run, KB?

I didn't run. I think I was treasurer. You got appointed treasurer? I think I was. I forget if I ran against somebody. You probably got voted in. I would have. Yeah, easily.

If we had a show prize it would be Stephen Chay for me I'd vote for Chay you're the most presidential and the most scrupulous

you have the most morals straightest compass you're not a Roman Catholic are you I was I did confirmation with that but I

don't really go to church CEO Christmas Easter only. Political answer. Yeah. Very nice. Favorite book?

Bible? Bible. You've got to say the Bible. I actually did get a Bible, and I've been meaning to read it, and I just never did. You never cracked it? No. It was a goal of mine to read it, but I just, I think it was like football season coming up or something. Right.

Football season's always coming up is the problem, especially when you're doing draft prep. Facts. I was just busting down Miles Murphy tape last night. Full game. Nice. He's just a power rusher, bro, man. He's just a bull. You know, he doesn't have any crazy moves.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're staying in New York, dickhead. Oh, fuck. At least for the draft show. Did we just get the draft show off? He told me he's gonna run a 4-5-5. Really? 6-5-2-75, yeah. God damn it.

You're gonna have to take all this knowledge. You're gonna have to grind tape. Yeah. Kate, you too. Me too. You can't, you can't, uh, sports your way out, you can't sports ball your way out of this one. You're going to have to fucking learn now. That's the old sports ball for you. Yeah, no, I'm screwed if that's the case.

I enjoy tailgating. I'll say that. Yeah, that's fair. Love a good tailgate. Don't care what the sport is. You had a fucking good-ass idea that I'm pissed that you never did. Your tailgate for weddings weddings tailgate show. Yeah, I did.

That was such a good idea. It's too much production. It would have been too much. For who? I ran it. Got the thumbs down. What the fuck? Yeah.

That's some bullshit. Would have been a lot. That's bullshit. I would have been an excuse for me to go to many tailgates. Say what the idea is. Yeah, it would have been. You guys have watched the Learning Channel show, Four Weddings, right? Mm-hmm.

Where are they? Oh. Okay. It's fire. There's four weddings, and each of the brides, so like these three brides go to this bride's wedding, and they rate it, and then these three brides go to this bride's wedding, and they rate it, and at the end, there's like a winning wedding, and it's like food, ambiance, general vibe, the dress, like style. They rate it's it's like food ambience general vibe the dress like style they're

rated on all these things so like i would be there'd be like the four top tailgates at the eagles and the people who run each tailgate would come with me to the other tailgates and then at the end it's like music food people like i don't know it'd be like a that'd be awesome tailgate thing that'd be very interesting that'd be so easy to shoot within one day it's like a top tailgate thing. That would be very interesting. That would be so easy to shoot within one day. It's like a completely enclosed shoot that happens between a very specific amount of time. There's a beginning, middle, and end. There's a fucking scoring system. The winner gets a bunch of liquor, I figured.

It would be something like that. You could do it within Barstool. Go to a Phillies game with Roan. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's something I could just do on my phone probably which would be easy enough powerful ass tool yeah and get wallow in here also too like you know those like down home tailgate guys like there's a group in philly who they bought three like 1970s buses that barely run it's sponsored by like all local plumbers from South Jersey. Awesome. This guy, Keith Dote, he made it on Barstool once for an RU18.

The RU18 Eagles jersey was his thing. Very nice. You could have sex with them. But it's the people. Right. But only if you're. But like they, it's like this group of guys who all season long, they're there every game, every home game, and they make it work.

And I've been to a few of their tailgates. And like, I feel like that could be a reality show like following a group of like i don't know i'm not explaining this right but oh i know what you're saying there's people who have like no money to spare but they're putting their all into like it's their whole life is these those are the best fans in the world yes and they're like really it matters so much to them yes like guys like glennie balls used to be huge fans of sports. Now, like, you can, like, slip, like, sports knowledge past him. He's, like, missing shit that happens with his favorite teams because he just, like, he has other stuff.

He's making more money. He's got titties in his face every single fucking day. Yeah, that's everyone here. Like, you can't claim. We all have different things that we're doing that we care more about than what our team does. Right. Like you don't have that pure distilled. There's very few people that are like just fucking obsessed with their team. I was brought in to be the Pirates guy.

Because you were a fanatic about them. You were fucking a Jason Kendall Superman. Who is the Pirates guy? I remember when Jason Kendall slid into first base and his ankle bone popped out of his fucking cleat. Jason Kendall was on a bunch of Oscar Mayer hot dog rappers and I used to collect them. He was the fastest catcher ever.

He grew up with Jason Kendall, Brian Giles, Yammer Yager. Yes. Mario Lemieux. Yes, keep going. Paulo Malu. Best Pittsburgh. Yes. Mario Lemieux. Yes, keep going. Paula Malu. Fucking... Best Pittsburgh athlete. Claude Lemieux.

The drum bet is the bus. Yeah, Heinz Ward. Even Roethlisberger is a top five passer of all time. Deuce Daly was on y'all's roster. It was fucking sick. Charlie Batch was fucking... Batch was the man. He was the man.

The backups would play basketball at our local high schools. All of them. Not just one. All of them. Antonio Brown actually came to play when he was just a kick returner. But he was playing my buddy Sean Black who was on the basketball team. It was our basketball team. Yeah, that was it. And Antonio Brown dunked

on my boy Sean and then came down from the rim and landed on his ankle weird and then the coaches yelled at Sean for being in the way. He's like don't fucking touch it. He hurt himself. That's hilarious. You shouldn't have did that to Antonio Brown. I would have done that to AB.

Or protect the goods. AB cocked that shit back too. He did? Yeah. Punch that bitch? Come on. Charlie Batch was Asian. Yeah he was.

Still is. I think he was way... Blasian? He was Blasian. He was Blasian when it was a thing to be Blasian in the 90s, in the early 2000s. Was he Vietnamese? He was a Viet, bro?

Was he? I don't know. What type of Asian was Charlie Batch? Steven, I don't know why I expect you to know this. He was a football guy. No, just as African American. Really? Yeah, I didn't know that Charlie Batch was Asian.

I thought he was Asian. Why? Yeah, I think one of his parents is Asian, yeah. Oh, my God. Where's Aaron Rodgers going? The Jets. For sure? Yeah, he just said on the Pat McAfee show, Hey, turn this shit off, man. Hop over to McAfee. Oh my god Where's Aaron Rodgers going? The Jets For sure? Yeah

He just said on the Pat McAfee show Hey Turn this shit off man Hop over to McAfee Yeah We'd be doing those fellas a disservice If we didn't just Go over there

Come on man Just get over there See Vito And Foxy All the boys Vito's still over there right? Matt Brown Zito Zito Not Vito and Foxy, all the boys. Vito's still over there, right? Matt Brown. Zito.

Zito, not Vito. Did he get the other little group of people he wanted? It wasn't his thing like, I'll go to the Jets. He got some of his little buddies. His little buddies came over. But I think he's going to get rid of other little buddies. They signed down Lazard yesterday. Yeah, Lazard, 4 for 40.

Fucking Glennie missed that. Poor bastard. But that means they're going to probably get rid of Elijah Moore then, huh? No, they're going to get rid of Corey Davis. But maybe both. Corey Davis saves them what? Elijah Moore won it out anyway, didn't he? Yeah, he's been won it out.

You know who he played at Ole Miss with? A.J. Brown. Dude, that'd be sick. Lazard was a psych cyclone. Ole Miss with A.J. Brown. Dude, that'd be sick. The birds get him. Lazard was a psych, cyclone. Yeah, he was always doing Gangnam Style videos. He was doing them just like them. Cyclone.

Come on now. Come on. You can't prep for that. This is a setup. This was a setup. It's in my notes. Cyclone. That guy was a clone of...

God damn. I think Steven's still processing through him. You got it. Whoop-dum-gang-dum-stah. Whoop. Whoop. Bro, that was... Have you ever watched the TikToks where it's the highest earning person per year?

Yeah. And it's this oscillating bar graph. And Psy pops onto that chart and like literally took over music yeah like made like 500 million dollars in a year from a incredible song but god damn it must have been awesome do you think he's still just cranking out fucking gangnam style like toothless or you think he's uh moved? That was a very special era, the early 2010s, when social media was for the first time ubiquitous in video sharing. So everyone was doing corny shit.

Thrift Shop. I remember where I was when I saw Thrift Shop for the first time. What you know about rocking a... Did you just like throw in the towel? How does he do it? God damn it. He's perfect. But Psy was... He brought it? God damn it. He's perfect. But Psy was,

he brought it to an international level. Like he was, that's when we realized, oh, Asians have the numbers. Latinas, Latin folk have the numbers. Have you ever seen Selena Gomez's numbers? I can't name a Selena Gomez song.

Her numbers are crazy. Bad Bunny's numbers. On that same bar graph, there's like out of nowhere, it's like Luis Fonsi comes out of nowhere. And what was Luis Fonsi's song? Don't know. What was it? Was it the, like Bieber hopped on a song with Fonsi, right?

Yeah, it was Despacito. Despacito. That was like, it had the entire world in a chokehold. Every single day, the top trending on Twitter is all K-pop stuff. Yeah. I'm like, who is this? What is this? Who do you think, what nation has the best crowds for concerts? Because I have a top three.

Well, Brazil always wants you there. Right? Yeah, from what I've seen. When these dudes go to Africa, though, the fucking... I haven't seen that. The way that people get mobbed. I'm thinking of Meek Mill's Most recent African tour

Like they were just Mobbing him I haven't seen an African show Or a crowd Who's the dude Thames bro His shit in Africa Or I don't know

But there's Yeah what were yours You said you had a top three The Philippines Argentina And then Brazil yeah what were yours you said you had a top three um the philippines argentina and then brazil probably it's always crazy when somebody who didn't quite make it in music here is huge in another country like drake bell in mexico yes he's the biggest star he kind of looks mexican like he kind of looks putting out songs in spanish now he is yeah i didn't know that yeah he's huge in mexico like living a very good lifestyle like money wise i think i was listening to this podcast about this punk rocker from the uk and it was this little punk

rock band that never made it big um back in the 70s or something like that and about 10 years ago they somehow learned that they were a cult hit in japan and so this japan like tour manager was like would you guys come perform for us and they were thinking like 10 people would show up and they felt like a like people were going crazy and they ended up like moving there and staying there and playing for like incredible yeah it was like some kind of i'm probably butchering that but it was like along those lines. I wonder if the yak's big anywhere. Yeah. We just don't know. Ecuador. Philippines shows out harder than anyone.

I think Young Gravy just had a verse that he just mentioned, like my chick Filipino, and it was number one in the Philippines. Really? My boy Hans, his dad Hans, had a following in the Philippines, and he's from Wheeling. Hans? What kind of shit was that? His dad had a following? His dad was a rapper.

Uh-uh. Yeah. And he would like go to the Philippines because people fucked with him there. Bro, rap battles in the Philippines are in the stadium where the Thrilla in Manila was. Like they're huge. They have rap. 20,000 people. Like all the biggest rap battlers in the world are from the Philippines

view wise like a rap battle from the Philippines will get 30 million views like easily and people are insane about it it came from the US

like I know the dude who started it this dude Enigma and he like fucking he was like his first video blogs like he like

didn't have a bathroom he was like peeing outside he like flew in this American battle rapper named Disaster and he was like he put him up in a hotel and he's like i've never seen my city from this height he came from like literal poverty of poverty and now they sell out stadiums every single time they do it it's so it's unbelievable culturally they're obsessed with it they just love shit in the philippines they. I know. The 21 Pilots had the mall shaking. Really?

And I know that they definitely had like a... They scream every word, which I think is awesome. Yeah. They love culture like that. I'd love to learn some fucking... Tagalong? What do they speak? Yeah, I think it is.

Agalag, yeah. Agalag? Is that how you say it? I always say it like the cookie. Yeah, I say it like a girl's dude their written language cute curly as hell oh the curly oh it's actually curly really yeah good can we can we pull up some uh just it's like yeah tai lao kamer they're all curly as fuck yeah really we're just having fun with the pen that That's beautiful. A little garnish, some serifs. Don't mind if I do.

Add a little serif in. Rich Brian, he's from Indonesia. He learned everything from YouTube. English, the entire culture. He speaks it very fluently. He came over with the deepest voice I've ever heard in my life.

Rich Brian's awesome. They're just having fun. What the hell? It looks like music notes just little bubbles on everything this is random but this morning i had a doctor's appointment and in the lobby was like a little filipino coffee shop and i had this purple it's called a ube cheese pandese or something and it was the best shit i've ever had. It was like almost like a dessert bagel ball filled with cream cheese icing, but it wasn't too sweet. It was like the fucking best thing.

I feel like cultures who have limited resources at times become the best bakers. They can just fucking stretch some shit and bake. I mean, baking is a fucking miracle. Baking bread is a fucking miracle. Who saw that and made it into that? That's fucking... I say a lot of shit about it. When I see something that was made, I'm like, what?

How the hell did you guys make bread? Food is crazy. Out of grass. If you watch food content, there's only six or seven ingredients. In the world. Just different proportions of each. Yeah, they just remix them. Have you guys ever seen that YouTuber that goes around and he goes to, like,

tribes in, like, Africa and, like, gives them food that they've never had before? Yes. It's pretty good. It's pretty entertaining. Oh, yeah. Like, he'll bring them, like, candy, like Twizzlers, and they're all just, like, it tastes like plastic. Yeah.

Yeah. Too sweet. They hate it, yeah. Twizzlers do suck. They suck. I. Yeah. Too sweet. I hate it. Yeah. Twizzlers do suck. They suck. I like them. They suck. I would never go somewhere and buy Twizzlers, though.

I was watching Tribesmen have biscuits and gravy a couple days ago. Garfed it down. Yeah. Yeah. They probably loved that. Because it's so damn good. So damn good. What's the, is it Vietnamese coffee that has an insane amount of caffeine in it?

Like if you go to a Vietnamese coffee shop, it will just, you get a small and you're just shaking. I think a lot of cultures have way better coffee than us. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, even Europe, it's like. Cuban coffee, Ethiopian coffee, like they all have better ways of doing coffee. Except Stella Blue. That's the only one I trust. Stella Blue.

Stella Blue made its way out to Philippines. It's crazy in Korea. It is crazy. I thought K-Cup was like K-Pop. Aren't those dudes in the war right now? Huh? The K-Pop dudes? What are their names?

Oh yeah, you... They had to go to the army. I guess you can't legally evade the Korean army. BTS, they're in the war for like three years. What war? The army or the war? They're in the military. In Ukraine?

Fighting in the war. On Russia's side? Yeah. Dude, if I got a bullet between the eyes from Rap Monster. From Blackpink. Fighting for Russia. Isn't that like the most gruesome war of all time? Yeah.

Korean War? It was pretty bad. Dude, if Jimin's a sharpshooter. For America. Didn't we get... We got destroyed. Did we get fucked up by Vietnam too? Yeah.

Hong, yeah. They fucked us with those tunnels. Didn't play by the rules. No. What the fuck, dude? Why. Viet Cong, yeah. Not bad. They fucked us with those tunnels. Didn't play by the rules. No. No. What the fuck, dude? Why are you guys underground? Breaking the rules.

Yeah. You snuck up on me. Time out, time out, time out. They're not doing it right. It is crazy how in the Revolutionary War, England just came over and came over and came over, and we were just like, okay, keep on coming. We can't fight you yet. We can't fight you yet like now we'll start like why didn't we just kill the first wave and then like the next boats came over and we killed the second like wave like we just let

them all land and then lining up in an open field yeah like what square up yeah wait i want to know about the first general that was like drummer boy you can stay behind the guy that invented sneaking yeah yeah there's a different way to go about this and like don't play the trumpet with the drums like put the trumpet down all right we gotta be tactful here they don't know we're coming just oh fuck Oh, fuck. He's hilarious. At some point someone was like, maybe we don't all go at the same time.

Yeah. In one line. Just like a really good musician, like, we gotta get you to war. Yeah. Or like the flag holder, like, just not being able to protect himself. Right.

You had to have both hands on the flag while everyone's shooting at him. At least have a sharp end of the flag. Stand behind the guys. We don't have a drum and flag. How will they know we're coming? There was one move. First army that snuck around had to have won so easily.

Oh my god, you guys. You knew there were trees we could stand behind. They were wearing bright red. Not even a ghillie suit. Could have just wore green. It must have been when we went to Asia, because we got shocked by all the Asian fighting styles. You're not in NATO? Those guys had like real booby traps.

Have you ever seen, I used to watch like a deadliest, it was a deadliest warrior. They had spike pits, didn't they? Yeah. They would use beehives and all kinds of shit. They would take bamboo and they would put, was it elephant poop in it?

Because it's something that's like, it's poisonous when it hits your system. I think it was elephant shit. Elephant dong is a primary base for a lot of materials. Yeah. And I would like, it would be like, I don't even know what the fuck you're saying. You can say whatever, dude. You can say whatever.

But I remember seeing they had like this like big mud ball with like bamboo shards sticking out of it. And then like it would be like a trip wire and that thing would just come down and impale you. And then fill you with poison. Yeah, stay crazy shit or like stuff you'd step on that would like fall through and it would roll up on you with a spike each like layer that would impale you disembowel you like the most violent ways to die that was more so that was like their psychological warfare that was their way of like you didn't even want to take another step forward back in the day too people used to like sit on the hillside and picnic while they watched the war below like here in the u.s during the revolutionary war like people would be like oh battle today all right well like there's a hanging yeah let's all go out to the

hanging yeah yeah it's a different time this book i just finished like this dude was like planning to kill washington and then they like it was he was part of a conspiracy so they like hung him and it's like in the middle of like chin hung him, and it's, like, in the middle of, like, Chinatown today, and it was the biggest gathering. There were, like, 20,000 people when New York was only 10,000 people. So, like, 10,000 troops, 10,000 New Yorkers. They were driving in.

Like, literally coming across from New Jersey, like, taking the ferry that morning that they heard about by word of mouth on one day notice. Like, I've got to see this guy get hung. Scalpers. Selling T-shirts. The word of mouth shit is so the shane's bit about that where it's like you hear the north is talking shit i'm gonna go over there that's what they would do they're like i'm gonna walk yeah i'm gonna go over there

and then they showed up six months later that's we were reading about like the opium wars in china where the long story short the uk declared war but then it took so like we're going to war and it took them then an entire year afterwards to get the troops over and so the people who declared it kind of had to like wait in the harbor for a year until it's like how do you even find out like do they send a boat first

that's like hey we're about to come like we got like 60 boats coming like behind us in like three months or something like how would you even catch wind of it like beforehand We've got like 60 boats coming behind us in like three months or something. So fucked, yeah. Catch wind of it beforehand. I want to see the first war where people used elephants. Oh, yeah. That goes back far.

Oh, yeah. Loose elephants running around. That would be awesome to just use it now. Oh, yeah. They should. We have them over. Yeah. Yeah, we should.

I mean, those things are fucking tanks. We should send some elephants to Ukraine. Yeah. Yeah, we should. I mean, those things are fucking tanks. We should send some elephants to Ukraine. Yeah. Operation Dumbo drop to Ukraine. We got $8 billion of elephants coming over. They'd appreciate it. Did you see the Pablo Escobar hippo problem going on? I saw something about it.

What happened? He had a bunch of hippos on his drug compound that obviously are only in Africa. But he brought them over to South America and now they've taken over. And hippos fuck people up. They're really nasty. And there's so many of them now that they don't know what to do. Hippos everywhere. All over swamplands?

Or are they getting into the towns? Getting into people's vegetable gardens and shit? I think they're starting to become like a local menace. Really? Yeah, I think it's becoming a thing. It's a pretty rough local menace to have. Yeah. It's like the boas in the Everglades that people release.

I mean, they're like half mouth. Hippos? Yeah, they have a lot of mouth. Half of their body is. And they're so fast. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know they can't swim.

Huh? They just jump off the bottom of the water they just go and sink then they jump off the bottom there's a video of that who the hell is fucking taping that for solely shirtless

jogging along the bottom of the water that's fucking wild there's some crazy shit like that my favorite youtube video of all time is a bear sits next to man. And the guy's just sitting there in a chair and the bear just comes down and sits next to him. And then he pans over and there's like 700 other bears. Has anyone seen this video? No.

30 seconds long. It's amazing. Can we pull it up? If it's your favorite YouTube video of all time. It's like the most peaceful video. I watch it. It's amazing. Can we pull it up? If it's your favorite YouTube video. Oh, it's like the most peaceful video. I watch it. It's very therapeutic. I would love a high noon.

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you can visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. High Noon Spirits. Drink it out of a can. It's a good, good liquid. Good liquid to have. Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah. To love on in your mouth.

Just swish it around and then drink it down. I like my favorite parts of the flavor. Okay. I like the peach. Well done. Boy acquitted himself well. Improv, baby. Learn it.

Second city type shit. Oh, yeah. This is the video. Is this the video? Good video. Oh, my God. It only just pops a squad. This is fake, though, right?

This is fake, right? This is a CGI. It does not look real. I'll say that. Watch when he pans over, though. It's real. He's going to pop a squad. Come on, now.

In the chair? Oh, no. He cracks a high noon. It looks like such awesome pets. I see why the Russians do it. It's crazy, though, that bears don't, like, they had to invent a new word for kill. Like, bears maul you. They're the only thing that mauls you.

I know. When he pans over, there's, like, 700 bears in the water. This is, like, serene as fuck, though. Yeah, it is. It's like a painting. And this guy seems so chill. I think at this part he's like a photograph. I think he starts getting to tell him to go away at this part.

Bear tells the guy? No, the guy tells the bear. You dumbass. Just kidding, bro. Thanks, man. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

Who came... Who came up with safaris, do you think? No idea. Such a cocky thing to just be like, yeah, we're going to get super close to the jaguar. It has to be an American invention. Or like a South African, like a British colonialism type of thing. We're going to go down and see a fucking I went on a safari once and we went on a bridge and the bridge collapsed and we all had to get off the

safari. Wait, what? Where? You were not on a bridge that collapsed. The bridge broke. I think it was in Disney. You were on a bridge that broke? It was in Disney World? I don't remember where the fuck it was. That's part of the ride, isn't it? I was you were on a bridge that was in disney world i don't remember where the fuck it was that's part of the ride isn't it i think you were in a movie starring the rock i think we thought it was part of the ride and then they were like this isn't part of

the ride that's when you found that board game in the attic and you got stuck in it right i always forget sass is the kid shut the fuck up that never happened and this could have been a dream that's like the most wildly cinematic thing that could ever happen on a footbridge that brings i this is very well there's a there's a a high percentage that this did not happen we're on a safari i'm just gonna it didn't it didn't happen he was on the i Jaws guy. I think I was making that up in my head. This didn't happen. I could call my mom and ask.

I think it happened. Call her. I'm too embarrassed to ask now. Text her. She'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, there has to be something involved. Now I'm like, where the hell would I have been that I went on a safari? Let's think it through. I haven't been anywhere where there's a safari.

In Disney World, isn't there's a safari. In Disney World, isn't there like a safari? There's like the animal kingdom. I'm thinking like, you know, the Jaws ride. I'm thinking you were on like an animatronic ride where things went wrong. No, it was like- The old Disney movies that they sent out. You said reading about it? I read about it.

This is Robinson Crusoe. I think that happened to you. Text my mother. This is the Jungle Book, and you're thinking of Mowgli, not yourself. No, I remember you couldn't make the safari because you had to drill to the earth's core to reset it. Because it stopped rotating, and people with pacemakers were dying. Oh, man. I got to get to the bottom Of why you think this happened

I just texted and I said Were we ever on a safari ride somewhere And the bridge broke It's literally the most extreme thing That could happen to a human It wasn't like a clean break And we all just dropped It was like

A helicopter came And you were dangling from it As it pulled you away Yeah I got you Laugh it up. You guys will see. Harry, we were in South Africa, and yes, your brother died.

Your mom text pops up green because she died in the same way. All right. Still no response. Usually they're pretty quick to get back to me. They probably think I'm on, like, drugs right now. It's one and a half Red Bulls, baby. Yeah, every day. Red Bulls are some nuts.

Some clean-ass nuts. The worst part of my day is when I'm done with my Red Bull. Best part is, though, waking up tomorrow knowing there's another Red Bull on your horizon. It is. And these things are good as fuck. That's my favorite food. Those wasabi almonds. Yeah, are so good.

They're so good. Wasabi is such a good flavor. It's one of the few untapped, underrated flavors. That Big Pharma doesn't want you to know about. That fucking Johnson pharma doesn't want you to know about that fucking johnson and johnson doesn't want you to know about a good ass eastern medicine i heard wasabi could cure covid they the docs just didn't want you to know fucking cnn's in pfizer's pocket so they didn't want you to know that you could just have taken the wasabi almonds and fucking lick that shit that shit will clean your nasals out like crazy.

It feels so good. Every once in a while, you get a bad nut, and it goes right to the nose, and it's like, ooh. I love it. I read that most wasabi that you get with sushi and stuff is not real wasabi. What? Really? Yeah. Really?

It's like fake something. I don't know. I don't know if that's true. Chemically, yeah. I could see that. Yeah. Isn't it fortune cookies? Isn't that like the last monopoly?

Isn't it only owned by one person? Really? Actually, it could be fake. I probably felt. We got those fortune cookies in here and there was like ads on them. Yeah. It was like a QR code. Like that doesn't taste like a naturally occurring type of cookie.

You know? Fortune? I don't really know. Does anyone actually like the cookie? I think I do. As I've gotten older. Some dude who's just sitting, he's just like eating fortune cookies as a dessert. Just woofing them?

Yeah, no way. They don't have anything. You're like having a bag of fortune cookies. At the movies? Reading each one out loud. Having to tell someone else. Do the Dr. Pepper and then just some fortune cookies. If I get some fortune cookies for the table, will you have some?

I'm not starving, but I could definitely eat. I hate it when they bring out the fortune cookies before the meal and eat them all. So we're not going to talk to Owen? Oh yeah,

Owen's in the office. He works here. Is he here? Yeah, he's here. I was just doing KFC with him. Oh, really? He's doing KFC? He's doing the whole car wash right now. Oh yeah, Owen's in the office. He works here. Is he here? Yeah, he's here. I was just doing KFC with him. Oh, really? He's doing KFC? He's doing the whole car wash right now. Oh yeah, I get it. Trying to get this thing out. We're trying to have him hop on anus.

But I don't know if he'll get it. Not like a guest-driven show. Totally. We could ask. You left this show to do KFC radio? Yeah. That's what you were doing? So fucked up, bro. So fucked up.

Well, I said, can I do it after the Yak? And they said, can you do it now? All right, man. And they're like, this is a comedy show, not like the Yak. A sports talk show. What's going on with, what's his name? Oh, yeah. Aaron Rodgers.

Jets. You went? You didn't see Billy Football literally just doing cartwheels down the hallway? So Jets fans are happy about this? Oh, yeah. Aaron Rodgers. Jets. You went? You didn't see Billy football literally just doing cartwheels down the hallway? So Jets fans are happy about this? Oh, yeah. 39. He's a little old. Sucks.

What gives him a chance to win a Super Bowl right now? Maybe he hasn't won. I don't know, KB. You'd know better than me. I mean, Mark Sanchez took him to the AFC Championship in 2010. Right. And that's the year that Aaron Rodgers won the Super Bowl. Yeah.

Yeah. There was less parity then. The Steelers were, I think the Steelers beat them. The Steelers, yeah, the Steelers lost the Super Bowl. Oh, they did. To the Packers. Packers. Hey, if you want to break it down.

Who's your favorite player on that Packers team? Mine was B.J. Raji. Like a little dance he did. What year, sir? 2010. I mean, BJ Raji was... Uh-uh. Fuck. My favorite player on that team...

Wait, is this you announcing you're going to Chicago? You talking to me? Yeah, yeah. Che's going comedy. Fool. Full blown. BJ Raji had the moment where he scored the touchdown in the NFC Championship game and he did the belt. Yeah. No. Chase going comedy. Fool. Well blown. BJ Raju had the moment where he scored the touchdown in the NFC Championship game and he did the belt. Yeah. Charles Woodson.

I mean, he could have gotten Super Bowl MVP if he didn't get hurt. Totally. BJ Raju. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Chill. Chill.

Unless you can make a joke about BJ. That was yesterday. It was yesterday. Yeah, yeah, chill, chill. Unless you can make a joke about BJ. That was yesterday. It was yesterday. Yeah, so that wouldn't even be... Oh, yeah, my sister said that it's part of the ride. It was a ride at Disney World. Decides. I guess I remember it.

I mean, dude, I was like four. Dude, decides. You claim to fall off a bridge that broke. It was a ride. It was a ride. No, it was like a safari. But it was like, yeah, I guess part of the ride is like the bridge is supposed to Where was the safari?

Florida? Disney World? Yeah, Disney World. Wait, can we pull up Disney World Safari Ride and see if this will spark anything? I think it's like a whole part of Disney. It's like an Epcot Animal Kingdom. Yeah, Animal Kingdom. It was like the fourth tenant of Disney World.

It was like the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, MGM. I've never been to any sort of park. Damn, bro. Any? Not even like Hershey Park? Never been to Hershey Park. There had to have been days on this when animals actually went crazy and ate somebody.

And Disney just had to sweep it all under the rug. I bet if you Google U.S. Safari Park accidents, there's just a whirlwind of things. I'm thinking of more Disney theme park accidents. A lot of pyrotechnics. I'm sure a lot of stunts. I just saw one on tiktok where you know they do like the water world type things where they're like run it and the gun what what happened he took he like tripped and he was supposed to like catch a rope but he missed it in front of the whole crowd no like yeah they had to like come take him off and everything and then people in

the crowd are like is this part of the act is this part of the act it's like an ambulance comes up and some like indiana jones guys still like doing the dance moves well the rest of the people were trying to like cover for but you could hear how like panicked everyone was that's why i hate the flyway i hate when they do the parachute fly ins during like big sports that shit sucks yeah it's not worth it somebody eventually it's gonna go wrong the show doesn't have to go on The show must go on is a fallacy They should stop the show when someone dies So parachuting isn't that cool It's real slow

You're tiny Yeah it's My boy just hit the jewel yodel Parachuting is Parachuting is pretty aged technology. Yeah. I think we're kind of at the point where it's like, let's not do that anymore.

What else is there? Certain colleges have aerial synchronized swimming, but in the air teams where they jump out. I went to the U.S. Air Force Academy. Do you know how they practice? Remember the little scooters from gym class that were square and had wheels they all get on their bellies on those in a big gym and that's how they practice their like formations in the sky ron you did the

you did the indoor skydiving right kind of it was you said it was a nightmare wasn't the guy like holding on to you and stuff yeah he like came up and was like spinning me around like he he wouldn't even like i didn't even like really go to the top of it like it just dominated my body he like brought me down to the bottom and then like got in and like did like flips and like impressed my wife it was fucking hilarious dude i did, we had a fair in my town growing up, and they had one of those trampolines that you'd put a harness on. Oh, yeah.

You'd jump really high, and I was so bad. I'm just not an athletic or coordinated person, and I just was so uncomfortable, and I'm watching people I know from school walk by, and I'm just sitting there strapped into this fucking harness jumping two feet off the ground. You don't even need the harness.

It was mortifying. Do you think you could just bring a parachute on as your carry-on luggage to a plane? No. Why? There has to be some sort of why the fuck do you have a parachute? I'm sure you can.

How else would you travel with a parachute? Check it, I guess. If I'm just going somewhere for the day. Yeah. I was like that dude that crashed his plane for YouTube. And he was like, luckily I always fly with a parachute. Yeah.

He did it for a Ridge Wallet, a potential Ridge Wallet sponsor. What an idiot. What an idiot. Burt Titania. What an idiot. Fuck. Yeah, is that guy in prison? I feel like he's going to jail, right?

Oh, I have no idea. He got in a lot of trouble. I don't know who just walked in that room, but they carried themselves as the most famous person on Earth. Big leather boots and a long coat. Yeah, you're right. Sorry, you're going to one or two, they're not the most Yeah, you're right. Sorry, you're going to one or two.

Yeah. We got to pull them up. Yeah, who is it? I don't know. I saw a video of a dude who base jumped off the World Trade Centers recently.

A guy who just went up there. No. I saw the video recently. Oh. This is in the good old days and you could just fucking climb up on top there. Someone tightrope between them.

People do that shit in Panama. Yeah, that was awesome. Panama is like a big, like, people just are climbing buildings because there's like, like when you see all those, like when people do like the tight walk, like tightrope walks across buildings,

they have to go to like Panama to do it because I guess it's like legal there. They just have no laws against it. You can't really do that shit in America. You can't just be like setting up a tightrope between two massive buildings. That movie's incredible though, Man on Water. Yeah. Phenomenal.

Phenomenal. That guy was pretty brave, man. Yeah. Yeah, I would never. Set of nuts on that guy. Big set of nuts. That's probably what he was bouncing on big fucking balls kid is brave man

is it though or is it just dumb it's dumb yeah it's kind of it's kind of just like what the fuck are you doing a lot of those people

don't have that self preservation which is inherently dumb like Chef Donnie yeah IQ of two yeah no you're just

dumb yeah the craziest one to me is the people in the flying squirrel suits i saw a guy hit a bridge all the time fuck yeah they're going like 400 miles an hour and then they just stop after i watched that free solo documentary or is that where he climbs like the, I started following all these hikers on Instagram and every week they're like, well, yeah, got another one. Like all the free solo people.

It's just a matter of when. I mean, the Alpinist, Alpinist, what is it? Alpinist, Alpinist. That guy died while they were making the documentary.

Yeah. They didn't even finish making it and he just died. Yeah, I don't have that. He didn't even die from falling. He died from an avalanche I think I'm all for avoiding any sort of risk Trying to think of the riskiest thing I do

Public speaking Yeah Be on a live show Every day Just seated though Barely leave the ground Which is smart. Same with me bro.

I'm not trying to risk I'm not trying to be in physical risk. Have any of you gone skydiving like actual? Fuck no. Or bungee jumping or anything like that?

Fuck no. I heard that when we were doing the most dangerous game. We were saying that we were going to do that there was a skydiving thing and

I was like I'm just going to I'll go home. Yeah. I was like I'll quit my job before I do skydiving. Yeah. We have this thing

in West Virginia called Bridge Day. Yeah. And it's a really... Wait a second, who's that? Sneaky? Sneaky? Owen?

Walk by? Any big name comedian out there that wants to poach him, feel free. Yeah. He's going to be on Chrissy Chaos' new show. Yeah, but they bring this big catapult to the top of the bridge, and people sit in the nest of the catapult and just get launched off. Is there a video of this? Oh, yeah.

What's it called? Bridge Day. Bridge Day. Bridge Day where? In West Virginia, New River Gorge. Bungee jumping looks terrible. Horrible. What's the fun part of it?

I thought I was gonna die like okay that sucks and then i just got yoinked right yoinked sucks so i feel like west virginia and those areas are big like jumping into quarries hammer drunk kind of vibes i see a lot a lot of rope swimming hole a lot of rope swinging yeah look just they have a diving board on the side of the bridge holy shit that's really looks really high i guess that's the point oh oh fuck no oh these guys pull parachutes or they just are jumping into water or it's a river down at the bottom it gotta be pulling okay yeah oh okay i okay. Even that, it's like... Pulling those chutes pretty low.

Pretty low. I have a friend, we were at field hockey camp, and she jumped off a diving board that wasn't even that high and hit the water wrong, and her whole body was like an insane bruise like I've never seen before. You really bruised yourself up when we did that video with Sidney Wells. Oh, yeah, when you hit the... Yeah, and I landed pretty well.

Yeah. Yeah, there's no way that shit sucks sucks you're adventurous though kyle yes no i know you're not scared of a little spelunking yes i am what is that strap on the crayons i am scared of that a cave where's that yeah there's a cave in like tennessee where they have concerts or some shit Yes, I am. What is that? Strap on the crayons. I am scared of that. A cave. Where is that? Yeah, there's a cave in like Tennessee where they have concerts or some shit. Oh, yeah. It looks awesome. Yeah, that does look dope.

Maybe the acoustics are crazy. I know. Maybe a little. Maybe a little too echoey, though. I should knock that cave down. Put up a arena. Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Short yak today. I don't know. I like talking to you guys. All right. Short yak today? I don't know. I like talking to you guys. All right, then. Long yak today. Should we start drinking? I don't know. Maybe a hot noon.

Yeah, that fridge is cute as a button. Isn't it? It really is. Long and skinny. Cactus. Is anyone watering that cactus, or is it just... It needs to be watered. It looks like it's getting a little puckered at the bottom.

Yeah, it looks puckered. It looks a little... No yak tomorrow friday because of the oh this is the last yak of the week yeah oh shit because they're doing streams while this is on anybody wants to go with me and nate to watch west virginia and maryland tomorrow at noon please join us where are you guys going i don't know n know. Are you going to one of the bars around here that does like the West Virginia bar? I can't go back to the West Virginia bar. I accidentally dined and dashed it. Can't go back.

What? I accidentally dined and dashed it. I opened up a tab at the bar and then was seated and ordered food and I went up to close out my tab at the bar and I just assumed that they would put my food on that and they didn't. I left. And so I'd imagine,

I just can't show my face there again. They don't know. No. But also the West Virginia Bar, pathetic turnout for WVU. Every game, every time. You like being at a team bar? I like being at a team bar that I have no affiliation to.

My team two years ago was like Washington State or something like that, and I thought, oh, there'll be no bar here. But the bar was like packed here. There's a Washington State bar here. Yeah, any team you can find a bar here. I might try to go to the WVU bar. Is there a Kent State bar? The Penn State bar is overwhelming here.

It's like lying around the block. That's my team in the tournament this year. Aston Villa only has a fucking table at the football factory. Four other guys. The football factory? Yeah. What's that? Shut the fuck up, Zaha.

That table would chew you up and spit you out. You support Aston Villa? I bleed Claretton and blue when did that happen let's see so it's my first day here so not a year ago oh hell what uh how the hell do you land on Aston Villa it's just uh one of the only clubs that have won a Champions League. What does Aston mean? Literally, I don't have the time for this. Like Aston Martin? Yeah. I was a UPS driver helper in Aston, PA.

Aston, PA, yeah. Lovely. Yeah, that was great. That was a great time. I'm getting a credit card today. This might ruin, it's going to ruin your life, I bet.

You're going to fuck up. Is this your first ever? It is my first. Francis has been on my ass about it. Oh, he's using you for referral? No.

Well, too, for as much as you travel as a comedian, like. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, wow. And you're going to get like free lounges, right? Are you going to get a free,

yeah. What are you going to, what'd you go with? I don't know. Oh, it's coming, but you ordered it today or you don't know i did like a little mystery box thing wait yeah you don't know what you're gonna get a card of the month wait what yeah you just get a new one every month yeah no i'm getting uh chase ah that's stupid top dog the sapphire one oh that's stupid in college every time they would have the booth, like, free pizza or free shirt or free whatever if you order this credit card. Like, those booths said that.

I've had so many credit cards. I would sign up other people's names. Jesus Christ. I got a credit card way too early, and my score was looking like I just got done bowling. It wasn't great. But you're an incredible bowler. Still. 300, nice.

What are your guys' credit scores? Good? Yeah. Looked mine up. What is it? Not good. What is it? I don't want to say.

Why? It's probably because you don't, yeah. Is it better to be higher or lower? Is it because you, lower. It's like golf. Oh, okay, then it's really good. No, I'm kidding. It was like in the, it was in like the average.

Who would have known not paying rent ever would get you? I have a check for five months of rent in my wallet. I still haven't brought it. It's gotta be six months by now. You talked about that with Francis on Son of a Boy Dad and that was three weeks ago. Yeah, but it's for the rest of the

lease. What the hell is wrong with you? Dude, the landlord has not said a word. Yeah, because it's not hurting him. He's going to get the money. It's just hurting your credit score. Why is it hurting my credit score? Does that count?

Yes. Here she is. What's the numbers on it? A lot of money. An overwhelming amount of money. What's it say, KB? Hell no, bro. I've never had a credit card.

Shit is fool's gold, bro. You don't have one? Just pay cash, bro. I don't. I might soon, but I don't regret not getting one. Yeah, it's so corny. My credit store took quite a bit. Francis just makes fun of me because when we go to stores I have to enter in my pin

he makes fun of you for that? bullies me wait say what you said again Che just said something sass you're gonna want to hear this what did you say? what did you say? my credit score took quite a hit after the whole minivan auto pay automobile pay

oh yeah he thought his shit was on auto pay oh yeah so his credit score took a hit because he wasn't paying his shit which is exactly what's happening to you but why because like you're not good for it like it seems what does he have to tell them and be like he's not paying they don't just like give it back to you like you have to earn them and be like, he's not paying? They don't just like give it back to you. Like you have to earn it. And I think it wipes off after like. But how would like a credit. How would anyone know that I'm not paying my rent?

Because your landlord is filing that with a credit. Like you had to give your license and all that shit when you signed up for the apartment. So they're filing you as not paid. And that's being dinged on your credit score. So every month you don't pay, you're getting penalized worse and worse. Damn. So he's not saying anything because it's not affecting him. He's going to get his cash.

That's not good. You're just fucking yourself. Should I go do that today? You're going to fuck up your ability to get your Chase Rewards card. Well, long term, it'll be more about if you buy a house instead of paying. Which you're going to soon. I have an okay credit score, but I should do that. I should pay my rent.

Maybe he should fix the fucking mice problem, dude. Went to the bathroom last night. Mice in the mousetrap. Well, Fico's not going to fucking care about that. Mice in the mousetrap, mouse in the mousetrap. Well, it's fucking annoying, dude. I don't need to pay my rent if he's not going to fix the fucking rodents everywhere.

I think about New York is, like, he'll just be like, somebody else will then. Yeah. Like, I can't shower. I can't clean or clean my water. I'm going to camp out outside of that apartment and be like, don't rent this apartment. I'm just paying for a roof. Fested. The water in this city is trash.

Like, there's a lot of things that are good about it, but, like, we water plants at my household and they fucking die like right away this shit is toxic like i know like i know like new york has has like a there's a ton of mice there like i know there's like a mice problem in new york but like at what point is it like like i don't think i'm overreacting we've had we've had like we've we kill so many mice every single week so think about how many there are that you don't see. And it's like, I'll just be like, I'll be like going to the bathroom and one will just like scurry by my feet into the bathroom. Do you swallow like three a year in your sleep? Yeah.

But it's like, dude, like how many times can we be like, yo, you got to fix this and he doesn't fix it. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you guys were like. Can we get out of the can we get out of the lease? And he's like, unfortunately, no. What do you mean, unfortunately, no? It's your decision. Just tell him we're getting out of the lease. But we

can't, because I asked that, and then he said no. Ask for forgiveness, not permission, though. How do you... Lawyer up. Yeah. We only have a month left. You should rat tattoo me a lawyer. What are you going to do? You're going to live solo? Yeah. Hell yeah. It's a blast. You're moving to Brooklyn. Your place is going to be disgusting though, I'd imagine.

No, I'm not moving to Brooklyn either. Then your place is going to be disgusting. Yeah, probably. You're going to have more mice living with you. Yeah. I was looking at apartments on Zillow and I tried to tour one and then I was looking at the pictures again and I noticed that they had draft guards under the

sink, refrigerator, and dishwasher. I was like, okay, so they have a mice problem too. Because we got a lot of draft guards in our apartment. You got to seal that shit up, bro. My room is fully sealed off. Owen and Doug's draft cards got, the mice ate their way through them. There's like perfectly mouse-sized holes.

That would give me just like so much anxiety day to day. So you can't sleep. When I was there for 30 seconds before we went out to dinner, like one ran between my legs. Yeah. It was chilling on your beanbag chair. He was like, oh fuck, my bad, dude. I don't know. I'm trying to look it up. Did you see the guy who built like the mouse-proof

fortress around his bed yeah but that was like that's like that guy's like schizophrenic or something that wasn't normal no that was insane it was like

he hadn't slept for 40 years yeah because of mice he covered like on his floor it was like three feet of sticky tape

in every direction in a square around his bed and then all so like he couldn't move in his own apartment without like something was

deeply wrong with that guy yeah my my house in west virginia our attic had like 2 000 flying squirrels jesus and i set up this very complex net system so i can't fly and so they were just like let's get out of here we're so loud that's when i was a kid i started to hear this like this like scratch scratch scratch scratch in the in the walls and my parents like we don't hear it we don't hear it and at night i would hear it like this gnawing yeah like it was getting louder and louder and louder and finally it got loud enough that they could hear it and so they called they said there was like 10 000 bees this close from busting through my wall like into my room like that car i guess i don't know if it's carpet like wood eater i don't know if they eat wood or

something but like they had formed like a mega nest right in my wall. And you could hear it. They exterminated them, I guess, or moved the queen. I don't know what they did to get rid of them. But they said it was this close from coming through by the time. Exterminator is the coolest name profession. Yeah, it is. Dude, I bet they see so much crazy shit.

Those dudes are like the same as skydivers, just like an irrational lack of fear. Yeah. Just like picking up a raccoon, like, buy it's fucking meat. Yeah. I had a buddy, we had a spelling bee when I was younger, and like everyone's name is like the bee, like something bee,

and then their team was the exterminators. Did they win? Holy fuck, yeah, they won. It was pretty badass. Spelling Bee? Yeah. With teams? Team spell?

Spelling Bee team? Yeah. I mean, this was when I was in elementary school. Like everybody could work together on a word? No, I think you'd take turns for who goes. I would need help with rotisserie and shit like that. Yeah. Restaurant.

Just can't do it. Unnecessary? No. I still remember the Just can't do it. Unnecessary. No. I still remember the two words I got out on in elementary school. Seller and doubt. I spelled doubt. D-O-U-G-H-T. And seller.

C-E-L-L-E-R. Yeah. I did. That's so embarrassing. That is so embarrassing. I know. Still to this day. I still remember.

Queen B's are fucking bosses, but the rest of the colony are like queen ants. I'm all about ants. Yes. I love ants. But then there's queen ants, and then there's like, aren't there like big ass henchmen ants? Soldiers. Real big heads. And then if your colony gets to a certain size, the queen will start having super soldiers.

But it's awesome. Do they have sex? They lay eggs. Yeah, they... Who fertilizes? The queen is the one that lays all the eggs. Somebody has to be a baron, right? Does a soldier fuck the queen, I presume?

Oh, I don't know who fucks the queen. I don't know how that works. I don't know if it's like a lay egg, they fertilize it. Like, I don't know quite how that works. Was she asexual or like secretly lesbian? Right. Like all the queens of England have been? Do you ever see that?

I had a lesbian, a carpenter aunt. She was woodworking, we knew. I'm a bitch. Left my uncle. Nick, you have a carpenter aunt. Fuck. Oh, I get it. Whoa.

The queen bee has sex with over 200 dudes. Whore. Slut. What happens if a new lady is born then? wait only the eggs are only males yeah i don't quite know how it works if there's like you can't have two queens when the queen dies the colony disbands and tries to find another colony the fact they fuck for pleasure is so sick though wait bees fuck for pleasure they must you fuck for pleasure you don't think they do? There's only one lady who ain't in, like, a long line. But you don't think that it's pleasurable for them?

I don't. I think it's gotta be. Why else would they do it? Are we allowed to? She's not gonna just, like, make them fuck, but, like... It's like instinct. But, like, there has to be some type of positive reward system to, like, satisfy the instinct. You think so?

I don't think bees have... Bees don't have a penis, do they? They're just rubbing holes on each other? They gotta have a penis. I don't think they do. No? Is someone researching bee penis? Alright, let's go around. I'm going to say yes to bee penis.

I'm saying yes to bee penis. I don't know if I'm going to say yes to bee penis. He mounts and flexes his abs to extend his endophallus. Endophallus. Oh. Equivalent of a penis. Into the queen's sting chamber. Yeah, that sounds good. That sounds like it feels good.

Damn. An audible pop? That's crazy. With such speed. That would be so funny if humans had that. I have thin walls. I had an audible pop. No way.

Does that kill it? Lucky queen. She's getting the full body. She's getting disemboweled. Yeah, that's the size of a bee. Soldier and nom. And stinged up. Yeah, he's...

It's hitting the neck. Neck shots. I think he's going from the butt all the way up. I know. She probably dies like a pig mantis when she gets fucked. That's crazy. I didn't know bees had dicks. I didn't know they were packing like that. I had no idea. That's crazy. I didn't know bees had dicks.

I didn't know they were packing like that. I had no idea. That's the entire size of their body. I thought they just rubbed pheromones on each other. I didn't realize that. No, they're fucking... It's gotta be pleasurable. Bees rule. They make the only thing that doesn't expire.

Yeah. Oh, well, honey. They can travel five miles and just like get home yeah like there's like a big bee colony in manhattan and like the bees all the bees in new york like that you see are just going back there at night like it's their fucking job like next door neighbors at home are beekeepers really yeah it's the last noble profession. And exterminators. Yeah. Wait,

they're exterminators too? No, no, no, it's another noble profession. But never

the twain shall meet though. Imagine a fucking exterminator gets sent to somebody's house that's a beekeeper. Yeah,

it's some real Holocaust. Yeah. That shit would be dark. That'd be super dark. Sass,

when are you leaving for Toronto Friday morning where are you flying out of LaGuardia you wanna go to the airport together why where are you going Pittsburgh

damn what time 845 actually probably when I'm gonna go too no that's where my flight is oh my flight's at 10 okay

so I'm going tomorrow evening staying at the TWA or just. Okay. So I'm going tomorrow evening. Staying at the TWA or just the Delta Lounge? Neither. I'm probably going to pop a squat somewhere. Yeah. Switch. Just find an outlet and sit on the floor of the airport.

Yeah. Toronto. Toronto. Toronto is going to be fun. I'm pumped. Yeah, it is. I've never been to Canada. Neither have I. the layout of the city

is so cool it just has like all these little bracketed Toronto looks almost like Manhattan downtown you mean?

there's skyline it looks awesome skyline and it's like they're adding to it aggressively they have a lot of year round haunted houses

don't they? do they? I think so. Maybe I'll catch a haunted house. Get a scare or two. Yeah. It's a fright. Hey, I'm gonna go next door for a fright. If anything. Happy hour. Oh, the contraire.

Oh? Demon time? Scary hours? Demon time. Feels like a fucking, like, Friday damn damn near because we don't have the act the next two days. Not for me. Work day's not over yet. Still got to go get a credit card. Yeah, fuck.

My big thing today. We have to go record the anus podcast. Oh, really? The sports one? Still doing that, yeah. You guys are pivoting? Yeah. It's a basketball move? Yeah is owen really gonna be on it i think we're we might try to get him as a guest i know he's busy um and i don't know me and kyle wanted to try this thing where we could just

be guests on smaller podcasts and just be like you guys do it all and then we'll just throw it up on ours yeah yeah like stitch four of them together, like four 15-minute appearances, or just put the whole podcast out? It's a good idea. Did people like the Josh Potter episode? Yeah. Yeah, he's a funny guy. I love him, yeah.

Yeah, I liked him a lot. Give him a knife. Yeah, I saw you gave him your good knife, too. I liked that one. Oh, my knife's pretty good. Yeah, that's a good one, though. No shit. It's one of mine.

You gave one to Gardini, too. Yeah, I did. Yeah. That's kind of my thing now. Yeah. I'm a real weird guy. Yeah, that is really weird. Yeah, it is weird.

I see if that's what you get remembered by. You're the knife guy, right? I just met you, and you gave me a knife? You got to quit that, bro. No more Mr. Knife Guy. Yeah, fuck. Fuck. Get rid of these.

It'd be weirder if Glennie did it. You didn't bring that up. Yeah, I guess. It only stands, yeah. Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do for the airport? Are you gonna leave? I hope you forget to leave it. Oh, I threw it away.

Sorry. You could've just put it somewhere i know but i remember could have killed a fucking mouse with it i remembered and i remember and i and i knew i was gonna forget and then i was gonna say with a knife that looks like i'm trying to smuggle a knife on the airport flights i've had to the plane i've had to throw away a knife and so la guardia probably has three videos of me me just like I put it up my sleeve like I'm in Assassin's Creed and then I'll just go over the garbage can like this.

I've done that three times and I find out in the Uber I'm just like, fuck, I'm going to toss a knife again. At least you found out though. Yeah. Wind up on a watch list. Jay, what about Baker Mayfield though? Oh.

I mean, for the value that it is, he's competition for Kyle Trask. We'll see if they do anything else this offseason as far as that position. But, yeah, I mean, it's not ideal. Really? Do you think Baker Mayfield's best year was better than Daniel Jones' best year? Easily. Stats-wise, it is by a lot. But, you know, they're on opposite trajectories, I feel.

I don't know. I don't know about that. It's a value sign. I know the front office likes him. He's still young. We almost traded for him last year. He's still young. He's young.

He's a gunslinger. He's got a good arm. He's got moxie. Yep. Oh, yeah. Moxie out the wazoo. I get to use those dancing Gibson videos nonstop. Best dancing quarterback in the NFL.

Find me a better one. Jalen Hurts. Easily. Easily? You think Baker Mayfield is the best dancing quarterback? There are several videos of him dancing, and he's great. Drew Locke. Jalen Hurts.

I mean, Jalen Hurts. I don't know about that. Looks like you made a powerful enemy today, my friend. We'll see. Compile your best Jalen Hurst dance videos. I'll give you my best Baker ones. His gritty is like the cleanest gritty that exists. What?

Okay. You're saying we're doing gritties? Like the gritty's not a dance move? I'm going to pull up that Baker Mayfield rookie card photo shoot where he's in pads. Yes. That one and then the one at Oklahoma. Did you see the one at Oklahoma? He's not stomping any yards.

Oh, disagree. I think he's great in that. It's very low quality. I have to go because I have a conference with my kids teacher right now. But Baker Mayfield, best dancing quarterback in the NFL. That's my take. That sucks. By a lot, too.

No. By a lot? Shut up. Better than Jalen a lot, too. No. By a lot? Shut up. Better than Jalen Hurts? You're a racist. All of them pulled the video. I feel like that's the opposite. What?

No, it's not. It's not. You're defending that the white man is a better dancer. You wouldn't. He has the best dancing video that you've seen. Yes. But he has two. Jalen Hurts is...

But Kyler, he's got to be a little swifty. I mean, I'd say if Cam Newton was still in the league, I'd put him in. Oh, yeah. But Kyler is more of a gamer to me. You think gamers are good dancers? No. No. God, no. No. Fuck no. He's more of a gamer to me You think gamers are good dancers? No No God no

No Fuck no Alright we can end it We can call the show Alright yeah I'm ready Call the show You ready? Call this shit

We can call this shit End this shit Longer than the Lion King Longer than the You know You fill out a bracket? Let's fill out a bracket really quick A yak bracket

Let's see how we do really quick. A yak bracket. Let's see how we do. Okay. All right, let's do it. Good. Nick, see, bro, that's why you have content brain and sports brain. If only there was a landing spot for me. Oh, the wheel.

Oh, yeah. Just kidding. Spin it. Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel. Just kidding. Just kidding. Kidding. I'm kidding. The pre. Spin it. Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel. Just kidding. Just kidding. Kidding.

I'm kidding. The pre-recorded one where it lands on dry. Le Barnardin. I hope it lands on that, honestly. I was just re-watching the videos in my phone. Sass, how late are you going to be up reading comments tonight? All night. Literally.

I've actually got a pretty highly anticipated gaming session tonight. Oh, fantastic. Keep your mind busy. My buddies just got back from a 14-day trip. I'm going to reconnect. I'll get some dubs. You want to get some rust off? Oh, yeah.

You saw he said that You're a flat out op He called me an op Yeah he said like You're a pussy Like he doesn't fuck with you Like he'll dust you in the game Like just step up in the game

I mean dude It's like I understand Where he's coming from Like I'd be frustrated too If I wasn't allowed on the squad But he's saying like Not even like He doesn't want to be

On the squad anymore He's trying to go head to head He doesn't want to I don't want to He doesn't want to do Like it would be bad He's trying to go head to head. He doesn't want to. I don't want to. He doesn't want to do that. It would be bad for him. Would you retire him? I would retire him.

I mean, then let's set it up. I don't understand why it's all this talk from your end and you don't want to do it. I don't have to prove myself. I mean, he's saying he'd dust you. This is more of a pleasure. This is more of a for fun thing for me. You're a weekender. You're a casual. I don't really play're a weekender. You're a casual.

I don't really play like him. You're a Sunday driver. No. You do it for fun. You don't do it because you think you're better than people. I don't do it for work is what I'm getting at. I'm not saying for work. I'm not saying we have to film it or anything.

I'm just saying set it up. Let's see what happens. We could do oral tradition. Is Pat ready to play? Is he down to play? Yes. He brings it up on his own. He plays the game all fucking night until like, whatever, five in the morning.

He's one of those. He's a gamer's gamer. Sure, he's not bad. We at least got to see the world rankings. Also, Pop Punk is performing at this big event. Yeah, I saw that. Tomorrow? No, no.

It's in the summer. Wait, where? Ocean's Calling? Ocean's Calling. Oh, you were supposed to do that. Yeah. It got rebooked. And it was such a success.

The last one, how many tickets were sold, even though it didn't happen, it was marked as a success. And so the budget's bigger this time, so it's even bigger. Yeah, you're on the same day as John Mayer. Yeah, we're the bookends of that day. We're the smallest possible font. Oh, we're like the... He's the headline... We're the bookends of that day. We're the smallest possible font. Oh, that's an incredible lineup. Yeah, I didn't even say anything.

This is like my 2007 wet dream. Like, even the tiny names. I know. He's backstage snapping along to The General. That was a decorated... Oh, yeah. Dispatch. Matt and Kim, bro,

like fucking... I have seen the others. Matt and Harper, Jimmy Eat World, the easer. Oh, yeah. Matt and Kim. Maneers.

The gin blossoms. The wallflowers. The Pantons, Grace Potts. Bro, everything is like everybody's pot. The wallflowers are a small font. Yeah.

Dude, I would... For like aged out... They're not blind as a small font. Yeah. Dude, I would, for like aged out, they're not blind as a small font. like superstar musicians and bands, I would like a talent show type performance where they do like their three biggest shuffle in and out. I think that at a lot of festivals, at like Bonnaroo, they used to do that on like the Sunday,

and it would be like the jam, and like people would come out and do their best songs. It would be like Questlove drumming or something like that or like a famous guitar like Jack Johnson playing guitar or something and they would just all jam together. Which is dope. That's what like the Roots Festival is like too. I feel like people just come

out and do their best couple songs and keep it moving. Let's fill out this fucking bracket. Bracket. Bracket. I have a feeling it's going to be perfect. Let's do no upsets. Yeah Bracket. Bracket. I have a feeling it's going to be perfect. Let's do no upsets. Yeah.

You want to go straight chalk? Yeah. Let's do a couple. Let's do a couple upsets. Let's rotate. Let's go around. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Great idea. Oh, I like that. See, we get to blame. Okay. Who am I picking from first? Start at the top left. So we're going Alabama's through.

Or unless you think it's not going to be alabama but i mean are we are we going silly picks are we going to try i'll go alabama okay i think it should be pretty random so yeah it will be relatively random but like with the i think with the yeah whatever i'll put much thought okay okay nick come on. West Virginia. Ooh. You found exactly where my funny bone is. You reacted. It's me making that noise. Who's San Diego State playing against?

Charleston. College of Charleston. Oh. San Diego State. UVA. Okay. You two. Just pick one of those. Whatever to sass.

Creighton or NC State, sass? You're overthinking it way too much already. I guess I'll do Creighton. Is that realistic? Yeah, but moving forward, I wouldn't. A different, a more instantaneous response. I can't see.'m just gonna go with the bottom one ucsb there's a lot of these games tj and brandon didn't show their faces today yeah

oh fucking rutgers lost to hofstra in the first round of the nit after they're saying they were snubbed for the tournament he cared so much that is kenny cared so much. Kenny cared so much. About that? Wait, isn't the NIT, the higher seed plays at home, right? They're at their home court. Getting the one seed at the NIT, that was already an L. You have to win it all. You lost in the first round.

All right, Missouri, Utah State. Utah State. My boy John John was on the drum line there. Arizona. Can you make it a little bit bigger, too, just so it's a little easier to see? And then let's just keep going down so we rip through the first round. So Sass. I'm sorry, KB.

Wow. They're good. I'm saying they just get upset a lot. Memphis or FAU, Sass? Memphis. I know, to do Memphis. I know. Risky. Risky.

We're always good. Duke or Oral Roberts, it looks like. I'm going to go whichever one's on the top. Duke. Nicky? Louisiana. Oh, Nicky, don't be foolish, brother. I'm going to go with Providence for the baby boy, Owen.

Upset. K-State. This is the side of the bracket that's going to get a little zany, I think. I'm going to go Michigan State. Sassy's never with the Trojans. Likes it raw. Likes it raw. Let's hop over to the other side.

Can we go to the other side? My favorite part about Sass is how hard he fucks. Like a bee. With intense force and speed. When you hear that pop. You tell a girl you're going to treat her like a queen. You mean like a bee. You're going to hear the soldier.

Me and 200 other dudes are going to fuck you tonight. Until you hear the pop. The pop's so hard. Who's up you tonight. Until you hear the pop. The pop's so hard. Who's up next? I'm about to fucking pop. Nick? Houston.

Iowa. Duke. Drake. That's Drake or Miami. Brother, get glasses. I'm begging you. Man, Drake versus Biscayne. Kent State. Biscayne. Kent State. Biscayne.

Iowa State. Xavier Akenaso. X. Penn State, come on. What do we got? Texas versus Colgate. Texas. Kansas. HBCU. Texas. Kansas.

For basketball, it's HBCU. Arkansas. St. Mary's. UConn. TCU or Arizona State slash Nevada. TCU. Gonzaga. Northwestern.

UCLA. All right, now it's hot to the other side. This is good. This is good. This is going to be good. Copy this along at home. I'm going to go with Alabama. Sorry, Nick.

It's okay. Has there ever been anyone who completely nailed it the whole way through? One year, Kay Marcofield went out, and he was running Barstool U at the time. He covered a lot of college basketball, watched it every night just to try and find clips, hot girls in the crowd, and crazy shit to happen. Yeah. And he was almost perfect. He won in a landslide, the one that they were doing in here, and people copied his because

it was the main Barstool bracket that they put out, and people were winning their brackets left and right just because he picked it so well. Watched it so much. This is a tough one. Ron, San Diego State or UVA? San Diego State. Really? Oh yeah, bro. Creighton, UCSB?

Creighton. Where is Creighton? Arizona. Omaha. It's in Nebraska. Memphis. Yep, good choice. I can't see the other ones, so I'll go Memphis. Oh, the upset.

Yeah, I'm going for an upset. That's fine. Duke. K-State. Michigan State. What? Wow, KB. KB.

Wow. How does he know? Wow, KB. KB. Wow. How does he know? Wow. Okay, B. I'm going to go Houston. Drake. Fuck. Is that bad?

That screws us for bracket busters. Drake and Houston, that's a bad recipe. Call J Prince. Somebody's getting fucked. Iowa State. Wait, Drake could play Miami and then Houston? Yeah. Fuck yes, bro.

I'm in Miami. Roan? Ah! Penn State. Fuck it. Damn fool, Roan. I was looking at those Penn State, like, just their basketball uniforms. It looks jarring.

I have never seen it before. What do you mean? I just can't picture that logo on a basketball jersey, it looks jarring. I've never seen it before. What do you mean? I just can't picture that logo on a basketball jersey. It looks a little funny. Is it UKB? Kansas. St. Mary's or UConn, Sass? UConn.

TCU or Gonzaga, Kate? Gonzaga. UCLA. UCLA to Northwestern? UCLA. Okay. Alabama. Alabama over San Diego State. Creighton or Arizona?

Kyle? Creighton. Wow. Fuck Blackmon, huh? Yeah. They ain't winning. Sass, Memphis or Duke? I'll go Duke.

Kansas State. Then Kansas State for Kate over Michigan State. Okay. Nick, Houston or Drake? Damn. Sorry, Drake. Iowa State or Penn State? I guess Penn State.

How does it keep coming back to you? Somebody needs to beat this team. And just for UConn, Kyle. UConn over Kansas. I'm going to go Gonzaga. Wow. Sass, no. Alabama or Creighton in the lead eight.

Oh, man. I'm going to say Alabama. That's a good pick. That's a very good pick. How's that wait? Duke That's a very good pick. Wait. Duke or Kansas State? Kansas State. Roan?

No. Houston or Penn State? No, Roan. Houston, Houston, Houston, Houston. What a run by Penn State, though. Got to be proud of those boys. You got to tip your hat to them, making it that far. UConn or Gonzaga?

AB. UConn. What? AB. Final four? Bastard. Bastard. Are we in the championship?

Oh, no, final four. Alabama or what? Alabama or Kansas State? I'll go Alabama. I like that, Sass. Houston. Houston. Is that bad? Is that dumb?

And Nick, our champion. Alabama or Houston. This is a good-ass bracket. This actually might be fucking... Yeah, this is good. Perfect. Shout-out Courtney Cox. Cougartown, baby. Houston.

Wow, Nick. Wow. Look at, baby. Houston. Wow, Nick. Wow. Look at that logo. Oh. Rowan, score? 3-0. 67-63. No, that's fine.

Yeah, yeah. 60, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right? Yep. There's the bracket. There it is.

All right. Enter into both. Oh, fuck. We're going to miss out on that free car we would have won. We've got to get a graphic of that bracket so people can follow along with the yak pics. Gamble along on the Barstool Sportsbook, available in several

states. We're not going to be here tomorrow, but we're all going to be watching the games together because the camaraderie on this show is fucking top notch. Rasslin starts tomorrow. Rasslin's going to be here. Yeah, boy. So it's gonna be sick Hey

We'll see you guys on Fucking Monday Yeah Monday It'll be a hell of a next four days It's gonna be a hell of a next four days Everything's gonna change We'll have a sweet 16

In four days so This is probably Maybe my favorite weekend Of the year Yeah to get drunk Like getting drunk tomorrow Is gonna be awesome I like a good haircut

Alright Thank you Alright live stream it Oh year. Yeah. To get drunk like getting drunk tomorrow is going to be awesome. I like a good haircut. All right. All right. Live stream it. I like keep my personal life personal. Fair enough. I can get that sold. All right.

See you guys on Monday. It's the act, it's the act It's your drug, the act, style, the tape, the walk It's the act, it's the act It's the act That's time to talk, shop, review, Yankees, love It's the act It's the act Thank you.