The Yak - Nick's On a Quest to Assemble a Crew of Hoyts | The Yak 4-16-24

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up. Hello, it's the Yak. Welcome in. Roback.com. Promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Jesus polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

Wow, we have, I think the chat bets on hats every day. It's usually over three and a half. We have three, but a random three with Kate. Yeah. Coming in with a hat. Doesn't match for shit. Plus 700 on that leg. Fuck you, Kyle. Fuck you, Kyle.

God damn it, Kyle. Yeah, Brandon, you're not allowed to play softball. Why not? I like your shoes. Shut up about my shoes. Why can't I play softball? Because you bash softball. allowed to play softball. Why not? I like your shoes. Shut up about my shoes. Why can't I play softball? Because you bash softball. I can play softball.

You bash softball. I'm the exact guy that should play softball. Softball should be a guy who's over 40 or out of shape or doesn't take it too seriously, just goes out there, doesn't want to get hurt, plays around. Not these motherfuckers that spend their whole life doing it. That's the guy that's an asshole, not me. I can play softball. Yeah, these guys have been giving you way too much shit.

Did you see it? Shut up, Kyle. Did you see the new guy who just dropped? New softball player? Oh, new softball player? Chef Celestine? Yeah, but this is... Dude.

There's no fun in that. They're just a 300 pound... Wow, that looks... That's a laser. I heard he's in Chicago, too. Oh, I'd catch that. No problem. That sound.

God damn. You'd still be running. All right, we'll play 16 softball. I want to play softball. All the boys here, all the, I guess it's behind the scenes boys. Are they playing softball? TJ's playing. Mook's playing.

They're playing softball league tonight. They're screwed, though, because I asked them if I could play, and they're like, yeah. They're like, what position? I was like, do you guys have a pitcher? They're like, who wants to pitch? I was like, dude, pitcher's very important. You don't need a pitcher. Yeah, I don't know.

You don't need a pitcher. Do you have to throw it softball swirly? No, you throw it underhand. I throw it like this, but there's a plate that you have to hit that if you don't, teams will just walk in. And you got to throw it with some art because if you throw it flat, they're going to knock the shit out of it. Why won't they let you play, Brandon?

Big Cat won't let me play. I'll let you play. You can play. Game's at 8.30 tonight. You want to come out? No chance. That's too late. Games are from anywhere from 6 to 9.30, I believe, every Tuesday.

No. That's stupid. Is it mixed? No. I'll do it. What are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, I like that.

I like that. Thank you. That bracelet says family. That was sent in to Mostly Sports. Where did you even get it? Did you get it? Brandon Walker, I have a question for you. Yeah?

Do you take this bracelet off when you're taking a dump? That's not me. That's not. Because I went to take a dump this morning, and this bracelet was sitting next to the toilet. That's Conor. Passed on the paper. I saw it. Guys.

Who takes a bracelet off? That's Conor Griffin. That's Conor Griffin. Conor Griffin. Wait, is he wiping his ass that viciously? I don't know. What is going on? That deep? Oh, he's going deep. I got to Griffin. Connor Griffin. Wait, is he wiping his ass that viciously? I don't know. What is going on? That deep?

Oh, he's going. I got to the bathroom. I know where mine is. It was just daintily sitting right next to the toilet. Mine's sitting on my bureau at home beside my sunglasses. That one is, that's Connor Griffin. Is that the most emasculating thing you could do? I have to take off my charm bracelet to shit.

Yeah, take a shit. Because I'm putting my hand that far in my ass. That's not mine. That's Connor Griffin's. This was found on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. I approach a shit like if I take my earrings out. Yeah. Or take all my rings off.

Connor Griffin, get your ass in here, boy. Boy? What in the hell is Connor Griffin doing? Get your ass in here, boy. What'd you take it on? He takes it off a lot because he says he doesn't like things on his wrist. But why taking a shit? A bracelet is like the last thing you'd ever want then.

That's also the least family thing you can do. What is this? What is this, Connor? When you're closest to God when you're wiping your ass. What is this? Is this your bracelet? No, mine's at home. You're a liar.

You had it on the show today. Oh, pull up the show. You were wearing it on the show today. I did not have it on the show today. I took it off. I remember. No, I found this around 8 in the morning. Listen, mine is on my bistro in my apartment.

Mine's on my bureau. What's up the fuck's a bistro? You have a bistro? A little narrow table with some bar stools. Mine's on my bureau. I have it on my bistro at home. I was not wearing it on the show. TJ, let me see your wrist.

Wrist, TJ. Oh, shit. Ebo it could i see it what do you know it's no you can't what do you think what's seeing it gonna do what do you mean you want to touch it the person was nice enough to take it was on the toilet i don't know it was next to the toilet okay they took it off before they wiped which is just a hilarious thing to just be like, oh, got to wipe my ass. Let me take off my charm bracelet and put it right next to the toilet. And then he forgot it. Okay.

Well, I don't know. You didn't have yours on today. I know where mine is. You sure you didn't? Get your wife to send a photo of it right now. I was convinced that it was going to be a Brandon Walker taking a seat. It is Brandon. It's Brandon.

It's not mine. Mine's on my bureau. All right. Are you sure? Wear it in tomorrow. I need Tommy to go find it. I'll drive home right now and please do. No, I don't need you to go to your bistro.

I want to know who takes off their charm bracelet before they wipe. Let me go check my bistro. All right, go drive home. Drive home. No, don't. I'll zoom in. I'll go home. No, zoom in from his bistro.

I want to see his bistro. I want to see the bistro. Go on, get. Go get your bistro. Slither out the Gryffindor. He does live in Gryffindor. Whoa. He lives two minutes away.

Room for him. Oh. Ebo has not. Uh-oh. Ebo. Ebo. Hey, Ebo. Get in here.

I say this respectfully. Ebo looks like a Ebo. Get in here. I say this respectfully. Ebo looks like a little bit of a messy shitter. Oh, no. Respectfully. Respectfully. There's something about him. You think he's painting toilets? A little bit.

Why don't you come sit down? Hey, buddy. Why don't you pull up your sleeves and come sit down? Yeah, pull up your sleeves. Come sit on down. What's up, guys? What do you got on your wrist, buddy?

Nothing's on my wrist right now. What should something be on your wrist? My family bracelet. What do you think happened to it? Did you wear it today? Did not wear it today. Did you wear it yesterday?

Did not wear it yesterday, no. Do you know where it is? No. Were you here last night? No. How now do you know where it is no were you here last night no how long have you been without it when's the last time you pooped probably last thursday when's the last time you pooped in the office did i drop it in a urinal i don't know or i found this this morning next to the toilet to the sh. Do you take it off when you wipe? I don't think so.

I think it might have just been in my pocket. Which bathroom? Top. No, it's not me. My bottom shitter. Okay, it was in your pocket. That definitely fell out of my pocket. So yeah, it was in your pocket.

You put it. But then you were in there for three days. I have not bought it. I don't know. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Someone has been taking off their

family bracelet to take a poop. Did Blutman get one? No. I don't think he did. He doesn't. That's definitely mine. How do you know

that's definitely yours? Because I had the color. It was all different colorings. So you took it off to shit. You took it off to poop. It might have come off my body when I was taking a shit.

It might have come off your body? Yeah. No, I didn't. I didn't. It was in my pocket for sure. It wasn't around shit. It might have come off your body? Yeah. No, I didn't. It was in my pocket for sure. It wasn't around. You didn't take it off to wipe your ass. No, no, no.

It was off before I went in there. It fell out of your pocket. No, because it was sitting right where someone. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right-handed. It was right where a right-handed person would drop their bracelet to wipe their butt. It was on the ground underneath the toilet paper. So it was literally like not a pocket drop.

It was a, ooh, this is going to be messy. Let me take off my bracelet and drop it right here. The three days of it being there I think actually makes sense because I don't think that's a lot of people's poop bathroom. I used that one in a pinch last week. There's a lot of people here on Thursday and Friday. There was a lot of people here Thursday and Friday Were you afraid you were going to get poop on the bracelet?

Like is that why you took it off? I don't know, I genuinely don't remember why Alright, well you can have it back You mean it? Yeah Alright, cool Wow It's not Connor Griffin for nothing

Oh yeah Well it's B-Show, put it back on Put it back on And just so we're clear, I did get poop on that You got poop on that? Yeah, I put it on and and just so we're clear I did get poop on that yeah I put it on and I wiped my ass because I was like someone shouldn't be disrespecting this I usually wipe

with my wrist should I start using it exclusively to shit actually you know what leave it up in that bathroom and we put it on that hook and anyone who wants shit bracelet. You put it on. Okay. Actually, you know what? Leave it up in that bathroom. And we put it on that hook. And anyone who wants to wipe, they just put it on. We should leave it on the outside of the bathroom so you don't have to walk in and somebody's already shitting.

If the bracelet's up there, you put it on. Yeah, like a sock on the floor in your dorm room. That was always the best freshman year when you're like, all right, so if you're going to fuck, put something on the door. Nobody was fucking. No one was fucking. Nobody was fucking. But it's nobody was fucking nobody was but it's good that we made plans for that like all right we need a protocol for all the fucking we're gonna

do that is kind of genius though like you should wear a glove when you wipe your ass why or like a like a shield worst case scenario there's been a few times where you've been talking about ass wiping you don't know how you don't know how i struggle yeah you and steven I struggle. You and Stephen Che. I struggle, but I get the job done. Because you were arguing that the toilet paper does go in the asshole. It does. No. Yeah. It very well should, yeah. It should.

Inside? No, it should go in the... Not in. Like a little bit. Occasionally it'll fuck around and slip in. Are you digging? A little bit. That means you're just not done pooping then. Yeah. I gotta make sure that I'm done. You should dig. No. You should go in

at least a centimeter deep. Excavate a little bit. Alright, well we have someone on right now who can maybe answer this question and has other questions to answer. It's Will Compton. Thank you, Evo. Will? Don't sound

too enthused, guys. Well, we got some big issues. You're changed our whole summer. You changed our whole summer. Brent, I didn't change your summer. You absolutely changed my summer. The man who changed everyone's summer. The dozen's a big event for me.

Well, first off, let's talk about the last situation you guys were just talking about. You definitely have to dig in your asshole and have it go inside your asshole. Thank you. Because if not, you're just going to wipe and then it's going to seep out

within the next five minutes. He's right. Or it's going to cake up along the edges inside. Yeah, you definitely have to dig. Will, question for you. Go ahead, big cat. So this is a sliding doors moment. You made everyone change their flights.

You made everyone change their plans. What if one of these flights, God forbid, crashes? That's the most insane bad juju to put in the air right now. I'm just saying. You hear it all the time. Like, oh, it's supposed to be on that flight. Something happened that morning. I was late., you hear it all the time. Like, oh, I was supposed to be on that flight. Something happened that morning. I was late.

Didn't make it. Now you have an entire office that is going to change, butterfly effect their lives. Could even just be going to, what if they go to the airport and there's another protest and they get in a fight and then they get stabbed and they die and it's your fault? Or without the Kelseys. It was going to be that week no matter what.

It was already set in stone that we were doing it that week. We moved it up two days to accommodate the Kelseys. You used the Kelseys as a way to move the dozen out of their spot. No, no, no, no. They were just the biggest fish we were going after. We were always going to do it on that week. Like I explained. Did you catch that fish?

Because I didn't use the week before that, which we go to, which I'm also doing the dozen because the dozen got moved. But we were always set to do it that last week in June. You moved the dozen. You moved the dozen for the Kelsey brothers who are now out. For anyone who doesn't know, we moved the entire dozen the entire company a big event because will uh his beer olympics he's like we gotta we gotta we gotta placate the kelsey's and then the kelsey's called will yesterday and said hey thanks for moving all of barstool sports mountains we're out big cat we were on the phone this morning.

You are way more of a foxhole guy on the phone with me this morning than you're being right now. Listen, I said... We get off the phone and ten minutes later I see your tweet go up and I'm like, god damn it. I told you, I said, what did I say? I said, if we need to play one-on-one flip cup, first to 100, I will

do that. If that has to be what the Beer Olympics become, I will do that with that has to be what the beer olympics become i will do that with you look the beer games championships of the world it's still gonna be it's still gonna be awesome yes we wanted the kelseys yes we dictated our schedules moved it up a couple days to accommodate them um and unfortunately you know we got the call yesterday it hasn't been the first time we've been told no on something and we gotta fucking we gotta we gotta adapt i don't know what to say was there at least an excuse given there was not i mean i can't like it's not one it's not one that i can share was it taylor it's not one that i can share oh no wow it's not what it's scheduled there

there's some uh conflicting schedules that's never stopped you brothers oh that's why you're one of the best things but there are conflicting schedules there are conflicting schedules and it just it couldn't work out so i what do we do now? I mean, we tried to text Dave this morning asking, begging him. We begged him. He said he's 110% out. I texted him again, Big Cat. I sent him the meme of Bernie Sanders saying,

I'm once again asking if you'll participate in the Beer Olympics. And he said, I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm quadrupling down on not coming. So I don't know if we'll get a surprise entrance by dave i don't know if we can work something out it would be great to have dave it would be great to have dave and i know dave has his reasons for not wanting to come they'll allude to you know a couple things that bust with the boys some of the predicaments we put ourselves in but as of now dave is also on the list of backing out because he was somebody who was going to join.

He's backed out. Kelsey brothers have backed out. Yeah. Did you see also Max PFT said that Max was looking forward to drinking with Jason Kelsey. It was going to be a dream of his. And now that's gone. Trust me.

Listen, I'm bummed, man. You don't seem bummed. Seems happy. Really happy. I've never seen, man. You don't seem bummed. What's the call? Seems happy. Really happy. No, I'm not. I've never seen you happier. You're bumbling right now. You're giddy.

You're blushing. No, you got to laugh to the pain, boys. You got to laugh to the pain. Is that what's going on? Well, yes, that's what's going on. Because, you know, you're dancing on my grave with, hey, we had to move all the barstool stuff around people might die there's nothing there's nothing like yeah people might die well what if guys get on the flight and they happen to crash so just because they're all

moving uh the dozen had to get moved which i saw jeff's tweeting about it it's a bad day it's a tough day for bus i feel like we've been on this we've been on this tough run of situations we've put ourselves in. And it seems like there's no getting out. We just keep digging. Do you think that you should be – Buston should be stripped of all scheduling abilities? Like we should just be like they're not allowed to schedule anymore. You know, maybe. That might be what we have to do.

Or we just got to be a part of everybody's gonna have to we're all gonna have to hold the hands when we're scheduling things out because we apparently cannot get it right you can't schedule you guys can't schedule you're bad at scheduling the what i was just gonna the beer olympics thing was not a – again, we did it last year, the last week of June. It just so happened that it fell in the exact same week as the dozen this year. Ours was getting sold very well. So Barstool adapted and was like, hey, let's try to figure out both of these situations. And let's make sure the Kelseys get exactly the date they want so that they cannot come.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a fair, that's a fair statement. Cause we had breakfast with Jason. We had breakfast. We were like, if we move this up, could you guys do it? The answer was yes. So we were like, let's go all in. Uh, cause they are, I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're transcending normal life right now. Yeah, but it hurts for guys who basically get stepped over. Let's make sure they're happy with the schedule, and then they don't. If you moved the schedule for me, I would be there no matter what.

I know you would, BC. I'm pumped that you're still coming. I'm pumped that you're still coming. You're still coming, right? Well, could you move the schedule? Right? Isn't that a fair request? When would you want the schedule moved to? I would like to maybe do it the week before.

The week before is the dozen. We could move that. Here we go. Uh, the week before. That's a good idea. The week before is the dozens. Oh. We could move that. Here we go. We gotta, we can't. Ask Jeff. Ask Jeff. Get a step on the dozens toes.

No, ask Jeff. Why not? If I would like to do it the week before, can we at least walk down that road? Oh, I would love to give him the call and say, hey, Jeff, could we potentially, you're going to hate me for this. You should. I felt so bad for him the first time around. I was like, bro, I wanted to call you, but they were like, hey, let's just wait until all this unfolds.

But wait, wait, wait. If the Kelsey's called back this afternoon and said, actually we can do it the week before. Good question. We can do it the week before. No, we wouldn't move it. We would not move it. Yeah, you would.

And Taylor Swift's coming too. No, we wouldn't move it. We would not move it. I don't believe it. And Taylor Swift's coming too. No, we wouldn't move it. I don't believe that. We wouldn't move it. We got to stand on business. We wouldn't move it. All right. Well, we're going to see you next week, right?

Yeah. What's next week? The draft. Oh, shit. Scheduling. This is a problem. That's been on the schedule for the NFL season for a long time. You're part of the draft show, Will.

Yeah, I'll figure it out. You're part of the draft show. Call the NFL and see if we can move it. We can reschedule the draft. Will can't make it to our draft show. All right. I love you guys. I love you guys.

Hey, we're going to keep fighting for you. I'm going to hey we're gonna keep fighting for you i'm gonna keep fighting on the front lines for you i highly doubt it but i appreciate your efforts all right see you will see you oh man when i saw god damn happy no remorse sociopath when i saw that news this morning it made me so happy i was driving into work first thing i did is text will and then call him and And I was like, hey, we got to get in front of this with Dave. And he's like, I think I know what you're doing. And you're going to make it seem like we're begging. And I was like, let me just text Dave and let's see if we can work this out.

I was like, Dave, what do we have to do? We'll do anything to get you the beer Olympics. Dave is so out. Quadruple down.ics dave is so quadrupled down quadruple down quadruple down poor willie you just can't schedule now and the kelsey's just got insanely famous in the time from yeah it moving to now they're more famous than like a month ago i think what is jason is he like tied into this whole he's pretty famous now yeah i feel like jason would have gone do you think it has anything to do with travis chug that beer the other day and everyone's like he got backlash and he also didn't he like like a trump instagram or something yeah people are the fucking worst online yeah

he liked one of trump's posts no it's like he i don't even think it was a trump post i think it was sage steel yeah oh sage steel post what is that he's got it we've got to have more more to do with their no no trump espn employee is that the swifty yeah that's true it is like they're gonna you're right they're gonna find anything that's public he's gonna yeah yeah so that's probably it he probably can't be anything that's public. He's going to. Yeah. Yeah. So that's probably it. He probably can't be seen. That's what I think it is. With us.

I think it could be. You think there's any chance it's me? No. Huge, huge chance. No, no. I said I would step out if it was me. Not zero. If Travis Kelsey said it's actually Big Cat is why we can't come, I would not come.

Are you going to go? Yeah that they asked me to go and i i'm a guy who if i say i'm gonna go to something i go to it i forgot about the scheduled date at the scheduled date has nothing to do with the fact that the grateful dead are playing the sphere two days before and i was gonna maybe that had nothing to do with that you and travis kelsey having beef would be i i think you guys do i don't think so unspoken yeah i think it's unspoken i mean you guys are both the top dogs of sports podcasts well we had him on last year i guess it was before taylor swift but he could not have been a nicer guy i don't think i think he probably doesn't give a shit no i don't think so he probably likes you i don't think taylor does either no i don't think Taylor does either No I don't think she does She probably was like that's kind of cool that he wants a sex tape

Like isn't that Like if someone was like oh I want to see Big Cat fuck it be like no you don't But thanks Right But not because they don't want to see your technique They just want proof that you have Yeah they want to see like oh

We don't think it's his kids Yeah Alright fine have yeah they want to see like oh i like we don't think it's his kids yeah yeah what's this thing yeah all right fine fuck i'll do it i'll do it you know what if i need to fuck on camera to get the kelsey's to beer olympics i'll do it wow yeah there it is they give you no problem how'd you make that leap i think you just want to do it all right no i know fuck on camera no i i'm addicted to just uh promising things for will that will never happen yeah and being like i got your back bro and he just earnestly believes you like don't worry like i'll play you in one-on-one flip cup for 24 hours if i need to do that how long after the phone call where you pledged support did you

flip on him? Seconds? We were talking. I had him on speakerphone as I was texting Dave and Will together. But he knew it. It was a little fun. We had to just get out in front of it. If your sex tape leaked and Twitter bots were now like Big Cat's

leak in my profile, that would just... Every Twitter bot would just... Just see me fucking? Just you fucking. Titsionics you just big guy i mean they would see me come too because it would just be so fast it would just be like when you know when you scroll and you like actually see someone fucking yeah yeah often they would they would see the whole act of you fucking the whole thing it would just be like oh and okay then it's done. Can't even scroll. Yeah, the only sex tape I can make where you wouldn't see me coming would be a photo, a sex photo. A slow-mo.

Yeah. Like when they do the bullets through a watermelon. Like, that's slow. Yuck. All right. So I also have another surprise today, But I don't know if it will happen Well JJ will let us know

Okay Is it a human or an item? An event I'm not gonna tell Is it food? Concept Not food I like how you on Friday

When we did Brandon Walker Appreciation Day You were so like taken aback That half of your gifts were food. And then on your birthday, you're like, my wife let me drive an hour to Sonic. For chili tots. Well, I kind of cheated there. I just kind of did that for the effect of the tweet.

I was already in that town, and they happened to have a Sonic. Oh. But why were you in that town? Because of the Sonic? No, that's where the softball game was. Got it. And my kid,

when we were leaving, I left with one of my kids, my wife left with the other, said, hey, can we go to Sonic? And I said, no, Sonic's an hour away from our,

wait a goddamn minute. Oh, shit. It'd be great if Brandon was a serial killer and they found the case just based on Sonic locations. It's a heat map of Sonic. The Oklahoma killer. Yeah. It'd be great if Brandon was a serial killer and they found the case just based on Sonic locations. It's a heat map of Sonic.

The Oklahoma killer. Yeah. What's your favorite item? Chili cheese? Chili cheese tots. And a root 44 sweet tea. Chili cheese tot killer. They're so good, though.

Has anybody ever had the chili cheese tots from Sonic? Oh, yeah. Has anybody here ever been to Sonic? Oh, yeah. It's all dependent on the location and how it's ranked. I think they're more consistent than you think across this country. I went tossed from Sonic. Oh, yeah. Has anybody here ever been to Sonic? Oh, yeah. It's all dependent on the location and how it's ranked. I think they're more consistent than you think across this country. I went to a Sonic. No, I actually found out they're not. But I'm using personal experience as my guide here.

The one in Jersey tasted like the one in Mississippi. It tasted like the one in Palatine, Illinois. Good ice. Good ice. Would you say that you have a palate that would be able to decipher the difference? 1,000% yeah. Yeah? You could taste Sonic by location.

You're not sneaking a mediocre chili cheese tut past me. Huh. You're the Gordon Ramsay of fast food? Mm-hmm. I am. Sonic, not fast food. But isn't that the whole point of fast food restaurants is everything's uniform? They pride themselves in that it tastes the same everywhere.

Everywhere. Will you catch a bad Sonic that'll skimp on the cheese? Sure. Does that make it bad? But that doesn't... That just means you got a bad employee that day or you got a bad this. Mostly they're the same from sea to shining sea. Except they don't go from sea to shining sea.

They go from wherever to wherever. You talk a lot about fast food, but you never talk about the big dogs. You don't talk about McDonald's very often. Don't eat McDonald's very often. Wow, that's so healthy of you. Yeah, no, excited about that too. Yeah, thank you. I don't eat Burger King.

I don't eat McDonald's, and I never eat Taco Bell. But the rest of the fast food places I just go. Why don't you eat taco bell taco bell's the best i don't know it's number one like it what huh i've never enjoyed it what it's just not something i enjoy wait when's the last time you actually really sat down and tried is it too ethnic for you no it might be taco bell's too ethnic for Brayden. No, I just don't like it. That's why he doesn't like Jersey Mike's either.

He can't pronounce anything on the damn menu. I don't like the tacos. I don't like the... I just don't... I don't get in Taco Bell, that's all. Personal preference. It's a border crisis issue for you. If they get that wall up, maybe we'll talk.

Then we'll do some Taco Bell. Yeah. Taco Bell, though, is better in Arizona and New Mexico. That's a fact. Really? Yes. Yes. Never done.

It's a fact that I just said, and I don't really know if that's true. I think I had it once in Arizona. I was like, this is really good. It just happened to be good at that particular time. Yeah. Pick out our other guests here. Oh, nice. Okay.

Other guests. Surprise. Surprise. Nicholas. Who is it? I present to you a Hoyt. No way. No.

Got Hoyt Stanley. Oh, my man. Nice. What's going on, Hoyt? Hoyt. Hey, how's it going? Thanks for having me. Yeah.

Nick, the floor is yours. You've wanted a Hoyt your whole life. My entire life I've wanted a Hoyt in my crew. I've wanted multiple Hoyts in my crew. I have none. And I was just wondering if you wanted to, completely up to you, do you want to be my first Hoyt? Yeah, I don't know much about you but i don't know any other hoyt so i'll be the first all right i got a hoyt so so hoyt uh walk us through yesterday when um you're sitting in class and then all of a sudden you just get i think it

was like maybe 300 people commented on your latest instagram post just saying hoyt were you just get i think it was like maybe 300 people commented on your latest instagram post just saying hoyt were you just like what the hell is going on yeah i was actually i know you guys said like he's probably in the middle of uh intro to finance but i was i was actually in the middle of micro class with some of my buddies and uh i just was kind of wasn't really understanding the content so i thought i'd hop on my phone and um saw like my phone blowing up with like hundreds of comments i'm like what the fuck is going on here and they all just said hoit yeah yeah i was just i was super confused but then i started scrolling and i saw like the uh big cats instagram and i'm like okay well i

know he's got a podcast and he's talked about sports and stuff so uh my buddy just hopped on the live stream after class and then we uh rewinded and saw a bunch of that stuff. So that was really funny. Yeah. All right. So wait, you're at Cornell, but you got drafted in the NHL. Yeah. What round?

Wow. Fourth round. So how many years left of eligibility do you have? I'm a freshman here, so this is my first year playing. Oh, shit. I got a young boy. Two weeks ago, so I can play three more years here and then hopefully move on after that.

So can you get redrafted this year? No. So I'm drafted to the Ottawa Senators, so they have my rights. Okay. Got it. All right. And then you're from Canada, so we got a Canadian Hoyt, which is kind of cool.

Very cool. What point in your life did you realize you were Hoyt? Great question. That was on my list to ask. Sorry, Nick, didn't mean to step on your toes. That's interesting. Probably, I don't know, what ages do you kind of understand that? Maybe three, two or three?

Early. Early Hoyts. That's earlier than most real life. Do you know any other Hoyts? I don't. No. The only stuff I know about, like I know Hoyt Archery maybe. That's probably the only thing.

What do your boys call you? Yeah, what's your hockey nickname? My boys. I'm actually in the room with some of my hockey buddies right now, just in the study room. What do your boys call you? What's your hockey nickname? I'm actually in the room with some of my hockey buddies right now. What's up, boys? Hey, boys. How we doing? You got a good one, boys. Hold on to that Hoyt.

Don't let him go. Have you ever met another Hoyt? No, never. I actually got a story about the name I was gonna share with you guys I just my dad always tells me this story after a few drinks so um I think it goes like I was named after my great-grandfather Hoyt Thompson I think he fought in the wars and his uh his dad lost a poker game I think to someone named Judget. So the bet was that if he lost the bet, he had to name his son Hoyt, so now I'm named after that.

Yeah, no one does that organically. That's so badass. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. You've got to find other descendants of people that played cards with that guy. Yeah. That guy probably has a family. Yeah.

Yeah. Some sort of lineage to trace. He's just trying to get more Hoyts out. He's repopulating Hoyts. Johnny Appleseed Hoyts. Yes. What an egomaniac. All right, wait.

So Hoyt, you guys go to Cornell. Are you guys smart? No, they got the scholarship now. Probably a debated topic around the campus, I'd say. We got some guys with some brains here, I think. We definitely got good work ethic, I'd say. We got a tight schedule around here with practices and workouts, so we definitely do a good job staying disciplined and getting work done.

Not always the best work, but we get it done. Okay, and then do they, at Ithaca, do they still have the nets so people can't jump during finals? Yeah, they do on a bunch of the bridges here. That's crazy. You guys are a powerhouse, right? Like top ten? Yeah, we had a good season this year.

We were, I think we were the sixth youngest team in the country, and we exceeded expectations, I think. We ended up losing in the uh elite eight to uh to denver who ended up winning the whole thing so it's you guys and the wrestling team or the the powerhouses on campus is there any camaraderie with them or do you guys butt heads uh no there's definitely some camaraderie like they were actually over the other night at our hockey house for uh for a little party and their the the UFC was on and stuff, so we were all watching UFC together. So there's definitely some really good wrestlers here.

Right. How many goals did we score this year? Oh, you're a defenseman. Do we have any goals? You can still score, though. I scored two goals. I'm definitely more of a defensive detail guy, I like to say. So we'll work on the goal scoring next year.

Are you a big boy? Yeah. How big a boy are you? I have to say. We'll work on the goal scoring next year. Are you a big boy? Yeah. Why don't you stand up for us? How big a boy are you? If you could. Oh, you're a big boy. Oh, damn, Hoyt. That's my Hoyt.

That's my Hoyt. That's my first Hoyt. Oh, shit. Wait, Hoyt, you said you were the youngest team. When's your birthday? February 4th, 2005. Wow. Oh, God.

Young Hoyt. Wait, is he? Yeah. He's 18, right? Yeah, yeah, okay. Wait, are you? You're 18, right? Can you fuck, Hoyt?

You're 18. You're 18. You're 18. Okay, all right. He's a legal Hoyt. He's a legal Hoyt. I don't know what to do. I don't want a legal Hoyt. He's a legal Hoyt. I don't know what I mean. I don't want a legal Hoyt.

I should do some quick math. Wade, is there any other boys drafted in the league right now? In the league, there's a ton of draft picks. And also like the ECAC, which is our conference. But the guys are sitting right there. Any of them in the league yet? We got some draft picks here. This guy's Hank Kempf, Rangers pick.

Nice. Yeah, congrats. We got, I think, four or five other guys on the team that are here right now, but also these guys are pretty good too. Well, they're not. They didn't get drafted. I mean, you got drafted. You're our Hoyt.

Yeah. You ain't no pigeon. Man. All right, well, so, Hoyt, we just need to find a time for you to get to Chicago. Yeah, for HoytCon. Yeah, you and me. We should do HoytCon. Wait, can we add him to the stable of college athletes?

Yes. We try to get an NIL deal. We can sell Hoyt Stanley Cups. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. All right. Nick's Hoyt. All right, so I will, if we can find, I'm. Yeah. All right. Nick's Hoyts.

All right, so I will, if we can find, I'm going to say we need at least four Hoyts. If we find four Hoyts, I will fund HoytCon. Okay. I will fund everyone coming to HoytCon out here. Who would be, like, the guest speaker? Oh, man. Can you spend a lot of money on a guest speaker to four Hoyts? Is Judge Hoyt still alive?

Is Judge Hoyt still alive? Oh, certainly not. I think Judge Hoyt died about 100 years ago. My buddy lives in Chicago and he's got a place there. There we go. Get Martin Luther King. Wait, wait, wait.

Your buddy's Conor Bernard? Yeah, yeah. When were you going to I thought that was going to be Conor Bernard. Get the fuck out of here. What's he doing? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, yeah. so yeah he's gonna live here for the next 20 years and win a bunch of stanley cups yeah like wait did you play growing up with him yeah i grew up like since i was like four or five just playing with him so we've stayed pretty tight yeah his buddy has a place here that's fucking sick all right so we got to get you here and then connor's gonna come he can no no he's not invited no that's connor bradar dude connor can. He's not invited. No, it's Connor Bedard. It's Connor Bedard, dude.

Connor can't come. Hoyt Kahn is – wait, that's – Oh. Oh. Hoyt Kahn. Hoyt Kahn. We have a party of Hoyt and Connor. Hoyt and Connor.

It's a combo of Hoyt and Kahn's. Yeah, and that's pretty funny, right? Yeah. This will play. Right, Hoyt? All right, well – All right, Hoyt, I'm going to slide back into your DMs. I'll send you my number, and then we'll figure out a time to get you here.

And then you've got to have Connor come, too. So we make it HoytCon on the Yak. And we just need Hoyt and Con. Yeah, but I would like a lot of Hoyt and Conners, and maybe they can walk in and we have to guess if they're a Hoyt or a Con. Yeah, yes, yes. Okay, this is going to be great. All right, and then we will, like, I don't know if you do NIL deals,

but we want, like, Nick having a Hoyt, Nick's Hoyts. I would love a group of Hoyts. We've got to just find some more Hoyts. Yeah. But thank you so much for joining us. You're the man. Shout out to all the guys in the back, and, yeah, can't wait to meet you, Hoyt. Yeah, But thank you so much for joining us. You're the man. Shout out to all the guys in the back. And yeah,

can't wait to meet you, Hoyt. Yeah, awesome. Thanks for having me. All right, I'll talk to you, man. Yep, see ya. All right, see ya. Name one man who has a bigger first Hoyt.

No one. Nobody's ever done it. He's drafted in the NHL. Biggest first Hoyt. Hoyt Conn is gonna rock. Just having them all walk out in pairs and just be like, all right, which one's the Hoyt?

They come out holding hands. Oh, man. Hoyt Con, yep. I've been Hoyt this whole time. Oh, my God. Do we have any – can we find any other athletes named Hoyt in college sports? Because it would be great if it was an NIL deal, just Nick's Hoyts. Yeah. We put out a post Nick's Hoyts. Yeah.

We put out a post asking for Hoyts to contact us. No, we got to earn these. I got three last name Hoyts, zero first name Hoyts on all of our Twitter presence. Also, he can't do NIL. Why? Canadian. Oh, that's so stupid. That's the Zack Eady thing?

Yeah. Well, can we figure out a way to loop around where we have Biz do? I have no idea. Oh, Biz pays him. Wait, who's the other guy we just got on NIL? Wrestler. The wrestler. We should call him Yakleeths.

Yakleeths. Oh, a crew of them. A crew of our special athletes that we find through our- Yeah, our guys. I think we still got to make those shirts of the Splayd we also yeah we also like came up with that idea right as wrestling season ends yeah people are asking me about them so okay maybe we need to fuck them over steven make sure that we have that like in our calendar that when wrestling like maybe a couple weeks before wrestling season starts let's get what's his name again his name's awesome brock strong brock hardy rock hardy back

on and then we'll launch the spladle yes that's a good idea all right i i found a hoyt mccaw he's a wrestler um with a mullet so need him that'll play i need him people are also asking speaking of spladle if kb tried to spladle big cat one time. What? If I ever did. Look at this. This image. Is this an attempt at spladle? What is that? I might be defensive pinned in that position.

Big Cat pinned you? That's a cradle. No, not a spladle. He wouldn't be able to get spladdled. Cornell has nets under the bridge during final season. Yeah. If nobody leaps, does the dean cut them down at the end? Oh, that one. Has very peace over his ear it's also very funny to have a school that hard and that anxiety ridden where they're like instead of making it less hard yeah let's just put nets to catch the

suicide yeah let's take away the suicide yeah it's like there's an easy solution to this they just were like nah we'll just dial it back a little bit yeah on the I think it's the gorges yes Ithaca is gorgeous the bumper sticker you see a lot do the other Ivy League schools have

suicide problems? yes I think you just gotta keep your Ivy Leagues at sea level right yeah that's the only one that's surrounded by cliffs and gorges there's really hard schools surrounded by cliffs yes yes that's the only one that's surrounded by cliffs and gorges and there's really hard schools surrounded by cliffs yes yes that's tough oh man i'm so pumped for your oh no con uh we're yeah we're kind of over this can you do the game time ad read before we see the bistro we're kind of put them off screen for a second yeah just just hold up we we have like goldfish brain right where i just

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vet, terms apply. Come here. Come here. See? Use code that, and then it says that. Oh, yeah. But I got through it perfectly. Here's a Pee Wee Hockey tweet from 2016 talking about Hoyt Stanley and Conor Berdard. Oh, yes!

Quote tweet that. Those are our boys. What an incredible slow play by him. I got a buddy. I got a buddy. He was picked number one. That's what he said. He had a buddy in Chicago.

He was picked number one. Who could that be? Yeah. Hmm. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, what's up? Oh, hey, man.

Why aren't you at work right now? Why are you at home? Because you guys told me to drive home and go to my bistro. So I can show you the breakfast. Let's see the bistro. All right. How do I flip it? There we go.

Popcorn ceiling. Yeah, cool. That's a table. That's a desk. That's not a bistro. That's a table. What the fuck, dude? It's a bistro. That's a table. Knock it. a table. That's a bistro. That's a bistro? What the fuck, dude? It's a bistro.

That's a table. Knock it. Oh, wait, no. Yeah. Wait, did you see what he just did? That's a fucking bistro. That chair sucks. That's a bistro chair.

Dude, that is so sad. That chair does suck. Wait, that sucks dick. What is that chair? That chair is the size of a lantern. Bring that chair back in. Bring the chair back in. I want to bring the chair in. I want to break it. Bring the chair into the office. Let's break the chair. Yeah, let's lock that chair up. Bring that chair back in Bring the chair back in Bring the chair into the office

Let's break the chair Bring that in Get back into the office I don't think FaceTime's doing it justice Bring the chair in Also fuck that skyline picture you got going on That's so many photos I hated that

I mean his apartment's kind of pretty It's nice It's neat Alright It's not bad. Yeah, it's nice. It's neat. It's neat, clean. All right. We'll see you in a second.

With that chair. Chop, chop. Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. We don't even remember what that was about. It was a month ago. Yeah, yeah. All right.

Get that chair in now. I want to see that chair. Fuck that chair. There's nothing else on the bistro besides that. Why is he calling it a bistro? You can't be calling that a bistro He's gay Are we gonna break Are we gonna break this guy's chair

Yeah Yes For sure 100% Made me so angry It might be too small to break Yeah there's such a thing He doesn't have a kitchen table

Then so that's his No His bistro Yeah his bistro We're gonna break his bistro Wait that's where he eats Is that his only table And just staring at a wall

At the wall What you calling And he only has microwave dinners That's where he eats? Is that the only table? And just staring at a wall. And he only has microwave dinners. That's all he likes. He should bring in the whole bistro. Bring in the whole bistro. Calling that a bistro. If someone says I have a bistro, I think you have a gigantic kitchen. I thought it was one of those long...

I thought it would be a bar of some sort. Like a buffet. Connor, please bring in the whole bistro. And I thought he said chairs, like more than one. It's just one. One tiny chair. A little chair. What if he has somebody over to eat with him?

He's not banking on that. That's not in the cards. I wouldn't hate it if we just made him sit because he cuts clips for the yak if he just had to sit over there on his bistro every day. That's the perfect corner for a bistro. That's a bistro corner. Connor's bistro corner. He looks right in the wall. Yeah? That's the perfect corner for a bistro. That's a bistro corner. Connor's bistro corner. He looks right in the wall. Yeah.

That's his office. On his little... Hey, we're going to need the whole bistro. I don't know if I can fit the whole bistro. Yeah, you can. Oh, you certainly can. You certainly can. Unless your car is like a motorcycle.

Even a motorcycle, I think you can fit the whole bistro. All right, I'll try and bring it. I'll put it down the elevator. Con a motorcycle, I think it could fit in a whole bistro. All right. I'll try and bring it. I'll put it down the elevator. Connors, that's your only table. How big is it? It's probably about like, I don't know, four feet long. No.

No, I'll bring it. Guys, we've seen it. We know how big it is. We're going to have to know. You just can't tell. I can't tell. You don't think it will fit in your car? Well, it's just that it's high up, so I don't know if it would fit in my door.

I drive a sedan. All right, if it doesn't fit in your car, don't worry about bringing the bistro. Come here and get my car and then go back and get it. Yeah. We need the chair. We need the chair. Connor, if it doesn't fit in your car, do not worry about bringing in the bistro. Just bring in the chair.

The chair's got to come. Yeah. Okay, yeah. worry about bringing in the bistro today. Just bring in the chair. The chair's gotta come. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I'm definitely bringing the chair. I'll try and work with this bistro right now. Yeah, if the bistro doesn't fit. But I feel like... Just roll the window down and carry the bistro. No, the bistro's gonna fit. Yeah, it'll fit. Okay, I'll do my best. I'll get on it right now.

Okay. Is there anything else there we need? I just would like to see it now. I'm just curious. That bistro's coming in here. Alright, are we breaking the bistro? No, I want him to sit in the bistro. So we're not breaking the chair. I want to watch him be in the bistro.

How is that a bistro? What is the definition of a bistro? I've never heard that in my life. I thought a bistro was a cafe or a restaurant. Me too, I thought it was French. Oftentimes they are small. Sure. Or a table. Yeah, what is a... I thought a bistro was a cafe, a restaurant. Me too. I thought it was French. Oftentimes they are small. Sure.

Or a business. Sure. They're quaint. I didn't know it was the seating is what it was. I thought it was another name for cafe. Yeah. You look up... TJ, look up bistro. Bistro?

What is a bistro? What the fuck is a bistro? A small informal restaurant. There's nothing bistro about that. There's not a bistro. That's not a bistro. He was trying to be pompous. Wait, can you google bistro table? Because this could prove us wrong. You know what we have to do

is we need to have him bring that in and then we have to buy him a bistro. Yes. The actual building. Oh my God. Oh, that son of a bitch. Those are little ass tables. That's not it, is it? What the fuck? No, those are tables for bistros. Yeah. He has a desk with a bullshit. Okay, so we got to buy him multiple of these to make it a bistro. Those are tables those are tables for bistros. Yeah. He has a desk with a bullshit desk.

Okay, so we got to buy him multiple of these to make it a bistro. Those are tables you put in a bistro. He has to turn his apartment into a bistro. Yeah, he needs that. You can't just have a table and call it a bistro. He needs at least five tables to make it a bistro. I want him to turn his apartment, and we should go there for a yak. He's around.

His was rectangular. Not a bistro. Yeah, let's buy him some bistro tables. All right. We'll let him pick it out. Was the chair a table? A small table? No, it had a back.

No, it was a chair. It was fully a chair. It was a chair. It had a cushion. Okay. It was like a chair that you would test your shoe size in, that you would sit down and they would, yeah, one of them. That's not a chair you have a dinner at.

Not a dinner chair. Not a bistro chair, to be honest. People are going to be like, why is Connor moving out? He's leaving his bistro. We'll have him set up here. Real nice, real comfy. It's his fault. He gets fined for moving in the elevator.

Without saying. It's his fault for going home during lunch. Yeah, that's true. It's supposed to be at work. That wasn't our fault. And also, rude of him to interrupt Hoyt. Yeah, hopped right in. Right in the middle.

And the timing couldn't have been worse. Probably when we said Connor, too. Although he did actually give us Hoyt Con. Hoyt Con. Hoyt Con. Yeah, it happened. Hoyt didn't understand that at all. No.

No, he did. He just didn't like it. Hoyt immediately dreaded saying that he was friends with Connor. Well, yeah, I think he didn't like it because he basically realized that we were just like, we've moved on from Hoyt. We just want you to bring Conor Bedard into the office. You can sit in your car. But Nick, you prefer Conor Bedard here or Hoyt here? Hoyt.

Yeah. There's a billion Conors. Actually, that's a good way to humble Conor Bedard. We'll just show all of our affection for Hoyt. We're Hoyt guys. We ignore, and oh, you must be his con. Yeah. Move aside.

That was easy. One for one. That tweet was from 2016. That tweet was from when they were 11 years old. I was four years into Barstool. Also, Hoyt said his birthday, he was born in 2005. Yeah. God damn.

I had to do some math there. Yeah. What were you born in 2005? Yeah. God damn. I did some math there. Yeah. What were you doing in 2005, Brandon? I was a fully grown sports writer making $8 an hour. I met my wife in 2005. Married her in 2006. Yeah, you had to lock that down. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Well, I want to start texting with Hoyt soon. You married her in 2005. When did you propose uh five or or no uh met her in august of 05 proposed in august of 06 that's how you dispel the uh rumors that you don't go to taco bell because you don't like mexican people you proposed at a mexican restaurant no it was not a mexican restaurant uh what was it it was uh it was a steak restaurant called IVs.

Ah, that's right. Two different letters? It no longer exists, yeah. Didn't exist very much longer after that. It was pretty much just there for me to propose, and that was it. Did you see it coming, or was she surprised? She was surprised. Isn't it sad to go to a restaurant knowing it's on their last legs?

I went to one on Friday. It's tough. I was like, I think this is it. It sucks knowing a restaurant's not going to make it. Yeah. I went and it was empty and I was just like, oof. And then they personally, I didn't make the reservation, but I went on a double date

and they personally thanked the person who made the reservation. They called, which is very desperate. Was it good food? Yeah, I mean, I've been there a bunch. It was... It's done now? No, but... You think it's done now?

When you go into a restaurant on a Friday night, it's a steakhouse. You go into a restaurant on a Friday night and you're like, where is everyone? Right. Was it good? Yeah. It's a good place. It's been around for a while. Don't shout them out.

No, I'm not going to. I hope they make it. That'd be crazy. I went to a restaurant where they made me google review the restaurant at the table oh oh while they watched

they were there yeah what'd you give it like I gave it a five shit that's actually like extortion is that five out of five yeah

it was in Italy oh back alley just popped in a spot you were definitely they're like american took advantage of me yeah they did dinner was only like three thousand dollars too good spot they don't pay taxes in italy i think oh no greece greece they don't pay taxes isn't greece like struggling financially everyone's like we don't do taxes. Yeah. I think they're fine.

Are they? They seem to enjoy their lives living over there in Greece. You want to go there just because of the name? Kinda. Brandon just shows up with a bag full of french fries. Dressed as Danny Zuko. Where am I

wiping these? Remember when you went to Italy yeah you're going to Hawaii when a Sunday I feel like another noise was coming where are you going Honolulu

not Maui no can I give you a recommendation? Yes Because I have nothing planned Hawaii's awesome I went to Maui But

You're renting a car? No Oh Okay There goes my But no I'm sure if it takes a car I

Because I explored I rented a Jeep top down Oh that's Awesome Oh man Getting to like Live a week as a Jeep guy-down. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, man. Getting to live a week as a Jeep guy with a top-down. Is your rec for Oahu?

I have recommendations for Maui. I have the best fish restaurant I've ever been to in my life, but it was also just a recommendation to get a Jeep with a top-down. Do that. I guess I could do that. That was kind of it. Right. Yeah.

A lot of scenic drives. It was, yeah, lot of scenic drives. It was. Scenic drives. Yeah. Some incredible, incredible drives. Hawaii is one of the places I've been to where it's like, everyone overrates it, but it's somehow underrated. Like you get there and you're like, oh, people actually were not selling this enough.

How much flying is it going to take to get there? It's a lot. I got a direct. You did? Nine hour there. It's coming back. It's coming back. Yeah, that's the bitch. It's going to be like overnight, 14 plus hours layover in Seattle. That's because you go to do a

red eye to, I did a red eye to San Francisco then you're in, I was in San Francisco at like 9am and I was like, I still have another four hours. I know I'm already dreading it but. No fuck that. Worth it. I booked a helicopter tour over the I think

that will be worth it. Have you been on a helicopter before? Yeah. It was the best experience of my life over the Alaskan glaciers. Oh. And a little tiny one. I mean he's a VR guy. It'll be like living it. Yeah.

That's sweet. I just want to, you know, get in the ocean. Do you think you'll think of Kobe at any point? That's the name. Yeah, helicopter, I'll think. I feel like it pops in your head. Yeah. Are you going to bring your...

It actually is scary. It is. They're scary. Helicopter. I've been on one hell like those are dangerous helicopters i feel like when they crash everyone's like well it was a helicopter yeah no yeah it's like oh yeah yeah it's like when someone overdoses yeah it's like it's it's the it's the overdose of travel yeah man i didn't mean to do that to you

no i'm not like that okay all right good i want to I'm not like that The scariest part for me Is how I like to go deep in the ocean I know the waves in Hawaii Are otherworldly Are you going to watch Moana before you go? No That's a terrific movie I don't watch animated films

I watch documentaries Moana is a documentary It kind of is. With like singing. Yeah. The rock's in it. That rock song is awesome. Which one?

How far? That's not the best song. No, no, no. It's the... That's not the best song. The crab song. Oh, the crab song. Yeah, the guy from...

Dometoa. Yeah, what was the guy from... The Tall Dude. Oh, How Far I'll Go. New Zealand show. Ali Karolowo. Yeah. What's the New Zealand show? from uh Tamatoa yeah what was the guy from the tall dude oh how far I'll go New Zealand show Ali Karolowo yeah what's the New Zealand show

Flight of the Conchords yes one of my favorites oh really he did the Muppets too yeah he's great Jermaine

yeah Jermaine or maybe the other one I think they're making a Moana too are they yes they are hell yes

I haven't seen a movie for children since I think I was a child Moana's good man Moana too. Are they? Yes they are. Hell yes. I haven't seen a movie for children since I think I was a child. Moana's good man. Moana's really good. I was Maui for my daughter's I think we've gotten lucky since we had kids. The movies they made for kids in the last 10 years have been really

good. Encanto? Damn good. Frozen was damn good. It is funny watching old movies with your kids or like shows. We were watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and my son was like, are the good guys going to win? I was like, I actually don't remember. I was like, episode to episode?

Yeah, you might not. He was very nervous. They always do, though. I think Ninja Turtles always won. Every episode? Every single one. I don't know. I feel like there was a story arc. I think Ninja Turtles always won. Every episode? Yeah. Every single one. I don't know. I feel like there was a story arc.

I think they were... Did Raphael get kidnapped for a while? You're thinking of the movie, aren't you? Oh, yeah. The movie was actually kind of scary. What about the guy that was fighting people with a hockey stick? He had to have gotten roughed up. That's Casey Jones, right?

I don't know. Huh? Isn't it? Who was their friend that was helping the Turtles fight with a hockey stick? That's April O'Neil and Casey Jones. Is it Casey Jones? April O'Neil was so hot. Yes.

Yeah. So hot. She was hot. How she aged. The cartoon character? Yeah. Pretty good. She wasn't that hot.

What if she and the man- Fuck you, Kate. She was hot like Thelma's hot, right? No, she was- Thelma? Oh, no, you're wrong. Didn't she wear- April O'Neil was hot.

April O'Neil was like a newscaster hot. She was on TV. Yeah. Or a trench coat. No, no, you're wrong. Didn't she wear a hat? April O'Neil was hot. April O'Neil was like a newscaster hot. She was on TV. Yeah. Or a trench coat. No, no, no, no. She wore a yellow jumpsuit. A yellow jumpsuit. Are you thinking about the man in the yellow hat?

Oh, yes. Maybe. That'd be funny if they got together. I mean, oh, homina, homina. Come on. It'd be hotter. Pardon me. What a debating here.

Pardon me. And Michelangelo fucked her? Yes. I think that... Did they fuck? I think... I can't remember. Raphael kind of wanted to fuck her, but I don't know how...

Yeah. The only one she would have fucked was Leonardo. No, Raphael would be the only one she would have fucked. No, you guys don't understand women. She liked Donatello. Which one were you guys? I was Donatello. I was Raphael. I was Donatello the smart guys i like donatello i was rafael i was

donatello also i like the bow yeah it was easier to like play in the woods if you could you could have that weapon was my parents weren't by me master splinter in there or no yeah oh yeah in in her no no he wasn't getting her no no no he was too old but yeah my my parents got me donatello when i was like maybe six and i was so mad i was like i'm a rafael that's a good one yeah but like if you're a purple if you're a rafael guy you're a rafael yeah but he's he's the moody one he's the worst one right i know no he's cool but rude you could tell a lot about a person by their favorite turtle right and i was and also wouldn't it be the most rafael move to be like get a present and be like, that's not me?

Yeah, that is a Raphael move. The only action figure I played with was the tick. I loved the tick. What? Yeah, I only played with the tick. I had He-Man. Yeah. I had Stretch Armstrong.

Oh, me too. That rock. I love Stretch Armstrong. I was a G.I. Joe kid. Were you? I never had one. I had a whole. Yeah, I never had any of these things. They still had G.I. Joe?

I was a push-up kid. You're just doing push-ups? I was a push-up kid. You were just doing push-ups? I was a push-up to failure kid. Your favorite toy was push-ups. Baby, I got to get you going. I got to maybe have you over because my son, he does taekwondo, and his push-ups are pathetic. Bad push-ups.

Oh, my God, dude. It's a joke. It's probably hard to watch as a father. It is hard to watch. He's doing taekwondo though yeah successfully he's he's into it he thinks it's successful he it's like they're it's all ages and so they'll do like he and his friend who are both like four or five they'll they'll have to fight like an older kid and they'll just get fucking dominated. Yeah. Like how much older? Like 12,

seven. Yeah. But yeah, but, but it doesn't matter because I, I was watching him on Friday when I took him in, he and his friend fought the older kid. They got fucking bodied. And then afterwards I saw,

I, they, they like went to the corner and they're like, I think we won that. And my son said that. I was like, whatever, dude,

you didn't, you got killed. It just, we're getting pushed down, kicked. How's his technique, though? Bad. Okay. Really bad. He's five.

Four? He's going to be five in a month and a half. Yeah, bad. Wait, first baseball hit? Yeah. Big milestone. First baseball hit. That was big.

I heard it was at E6. Well, it's T-ball. It's T-ball, but they just started throwing. They did stations, and they started throwing coaches' pitches, and he fucking hit one. I was like, that's awesome. T-Ball is not. There's nothing remotely competitive about it.

It just gets having fun. No, we're in the phase right now of T-Ball where I think next year I'll put him on a team. This year it's practice, which is good. They do a good job. They put him into different drills and stuff, but then one of the drills was coaches pitching and he fucking hit one oh he hit a coach's pitch yeah i was like holy shit nice very yeah he's a lefty which is a problem because i don't know how to teach lefties in the field too yeah it's lefty all around

that's exciting to get really into your kids' sports careers. I like. And let it kind of ruin you. The secret is to not get too into it. But that's like, that seems like fun. Finding the right amount of into it is perfect. Well, Brandon, you back me up with this. Like, I've been in like, not a content funk, but like, it's been a long like March and everything.

Like, just like in a weird head space, just not feeling like my funniest. And then yesterday I took him to T-Ball and he hit that, and I was like, everything's awesome. That's what it's all about. Nothing else matters. Yeah. You thinking about having one, Kyle? A child?

Yeah. You need to get a second cat. I'm going to need a second cat. That's happening. Child, 38. 38. That's old. Go earlier. I know that, but. 38? That's old. Go earlier.

I know that, but... 32. It's not that old for a kid. No, it's ancient for a kid. Way too old. Yeah. I don't think. You might tear your back up.

I'm just not ready. I think you are, man. No, you should do it. It will click. It's like a caveman. I'm sure you'll naturally adjust. No, it literally was like one day, I was like, I don't want kids. And then you're like, oh, I'm all about this.

I was like, I really want a kid. So 38, 48, 50. No, it's too late. 34. My youngest son I had when I was 38. I think of my own dad. I'm like, he could father a child perfectly. Doug?

Yeah, he just beat Joe Scoff in a push-up competition. He wouldn't be going to those kids wrestling. Who'd he beat? Joe Scoff. Really? Yeah, he said he had a crowd around him at the Y. What? Yeah. It sounded like a dream sequence. That's incredible.

Yeah. Everyone was just going fucking nuts. Joe did 60, my dad did 70. 70? Yeah God damn Damn Congratulate him for that Joe Scoff's a punk

State champ At what? Wrestling Ohio What? Wow That's a big state Yeah

Why is your dad going to? He was back in wheeling Yeah Things aren't going so well what you mean what have you heard about wheeling yeah don't know shit what is going on i don't know oh no yeah bus driver flooded that's a weird conversation y'all just had what we've got neither one of you said anything i've heard shit was going on but i don't know what so what's going on people are people are mad i just saw something i swear to god something about wheeling in the news but i don't know i couldn't put my finger on it but i

remember being like wheeling well god damn it what's happening i don't know something's bad something's going on oh yeah i heard i did see something about yeah you want to what's happening in wheeling it's they're not letting it get out dude you don't want to know oh that's normal normal is this normal no that wasn't what it was murders that's well that's not listen that's normal. Normal. No, that wasn't what it was. That's well, that's not. Listen, that's not good. Oh, we got an update from Connor. Oh, it didn't.

He said he got it in, but he can't get it out. Wait, is he here? So why is that a problem? Is he here? Maybe he's coming back. I don't know. He said he got it into his car. That looks like the parking lot here. Yeah.

I'm going to help him get it out. No, it doesn't. No, that's inside. That's inside. I don't know. He said he got it into his car. That looks like the parking lot here. Yeah. I'm going to go help him get it out. No, it doesn't. No, that's inside. That's inside. Come on, guys. How the fuck do you know that? That's clearly inside. That clearly is shaded.

That's like cement. It's a garage. You just saw a line and you were like, that's the parking lot here. I don't know that you can tell. It might be cloudy outside. 100% that's inside. Also, terrible parking. FaceTime him. I don't think you can tell. It might be cloudy outside. 100% that's inside. Also terrible parking. FaceTime him.

I don't think you can tell that's inside. There looks like to be a bright light off that the hood, the roof. We'll check the albedo. So we're going to just have to what we're going to have to do is we're going to have to buy him a bistro set for the office. So he has a bistro set at home. He has a bistro set here. If he's in the parking lot, I want to go help him get it out.

Brandon. That's inside. That is so inside. I go help him get it out. Brandon. That's inside. That is so inside. I think that's preposterous. You say that's inside. Just say you have to pee. So definitively. I just peed. That's so inside. Couldn't be more inside. I don't know. I don't know either. That actually might be in his

house. You're so definitive about that being inside. I don't know that you know that. Look how sunny it is out today that's so inside couldn't be more inside there's a bright light at the top of that at the top of that photo we have white parking lines oh damn Che he's head of

parking for a reason yeah well Ninja Turtle whoa yeah Leonardo sucked Leonardo sucked I mean Michelangelo and Raphael are the only two answers because the other guys

are nerds right Michelangelo's a party dude Raphael is cool but rude how does Michelangelo have 192% of the vote he's crushing

is there a quiz to see what which one you are should you take the quiz and see which one you are? Should you take the quiz and see which one you actually... What's your favorite color? Purple. Alright! Are you trying to get the lyrics and can't quite get there?

Here's a half-shout. Turbo. No, but what is it? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I know it's... And Michelangelo's a party dude, but what is it? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I know it's... Raphael's cool but rude. And Michelangelo's a party dude, but what's the other two? Leonardo.

He's a fucking loser. It's like Leonardo is the leader of the team or something like that. Yeah, Donatello does machines. They all had traits. Nice. Donatello was smart. Michelangelo was funny. Raph was moody.

Was cool but rude. Stop saying moody. Fine. Cool but rude moody fine cool but rude cool but rude but leonardo's only trait was he was a leader yeah he had no actual traits but rafael was the guy who would fuck april aniel like you could tell you don't think smart ass donatello would have gone to tello would have made a zero turn him into a man maybe if maybe if it was 2024 where nerds have having a moment right now, but this is we're talking early 90s. Time. Are nerds having a moment? Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Did you see Zuck?

He got cucked. Zuck said fuck. There's a video of Zuck saying fuck. Really? And he got cucked. He got cucked? Wait, what do you mean? Did he eat duck? Sorry. Go. That sucked. Scram, kid. What do you mean he got cocked?

He got cocked. Well, he has a wife, right? Yeah. Nope. This is him saying fuck, I think, right? What is she doing? Who is that? What's happening? I don't know. Look at that dickhead haircut.

Yeah. What was that? I don't know. Look at that dickhead haircut. Yeah. What was that? Behind like an MMA weigh-in or something? Must have been. Oh, because he does the jiu-jitsu or whatever, right? He does now, yeah. Oh, my God. TJ, I'm sending it to you.

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sportsbook app use code yak that's code yak to get two hundred dollars in bonus bets when you bet just five dollars only on DraftKings the crown is yours I sent you this cuck video. What did you just eat? Connor Griffin said that was inside the parking garage. Is he back? He texted the group. Oh. What you munching on, Brando? What's in your mouth? I was walking back and Blutman gave me some of his candy bar.

Mmm. What kind? Sticky. Zagnut? No, it has some cookies and cream elements to it. Huh. He said he's going to get a screwdriver to unscrew one of the legs to get this thing in. He shouldn't do that.

We really just want the chair. All right. So this is that awesome finish. All right. And she goes and celebrates with the guy next to Zuck. Is that Josh Groban? No, that's Hunter, the right-hand man of Dana White. Of course.

Labs his hand. Oh, no. Oh, no. Where's Zuck? He's to the left. Out of frame. Oh, nightmare. Sitting down.

Look at him. He's clapping. Oh, he's clapping like this. Yeah. That's his broad? Yeah. Not no more. Oh, no.

Oh. You can't have your wife grab another man in a moment of passion. Yeah. That's natural instinct. That was primal. Yeah. That was primal's primal guess. She went to the protector. Good God.

Good God. That pretty much does it for Zuck. That's a wrap. Maybe she'd sell all his stock to us. Or just give it to us. Brandon, what would you do if you were a billionaire? Good question. Oh, man.

I'd fish a lot. I'd play golf. You like golf? Yeah. I don't think you do. I think if you have a lot of money, you have to make yourself like golf. Yeah. What else?

Yeah, I would have the biggest house in Mississippi. I would have a town in Mississippi. You would golf? I would golf, and then I would probably buy a big house and put all my friends in the neighborhood. What about the son? So Mr. Beast. The son's a problem. You'd make us move to Mississippi?

Oh, small dick heart's going to move. Oh, yeah. Fucking heart. No, my Mississippi friends is who I'm talking about. The guys that I don't... Bucky Cox? Not...

No, Bucky... It's not Bucky Cox. That's Mario. He lives in Georgia now. I'm talking about Dr. Ned Miller. I'm talking about Phil that owns a cigar store.

I'm talking about Alan who teaches. I'm talking about Matt Warren, of course. What did you eat? It's in your throat. It won't escape. It's out. It's gone. Swallow it about Matt Warren, of course. What did you eat? It's in your throat. It won't escape. It's out.

It's gone. Swallow it, buddy. I got it. What was it? It's down. It was a chocolate bar. It didn't want to go down there. Something down there is scaring it.

He had a chocolate bar and he gave me a stick of it. That's nice of him. Oh, man. They were saying chocolate doesn't belong with peanut butter. Who? Who said that? Chicago draft? Conrad? Those little people were agreeing with me.

Man, that's a terrible take. Bullshit take. When are we getting Blutman 2? Wow, look at that. Oh, he's coming next week. Yeah. We're going to have to focus. The fact that we're getting two Blutmans.

Can we talk about what their... Blutman family, in our thoughts, they just lost their grandfather. Mm-hmm. That nobody in the family wanted the ashes. And so I thought they were joking, but they asked if we wanted them for the anus studio. Yeah. We're getting... We're getting...

Right. The senior Blutman. That's beautiful. Yes. The recently passed Blutman for our studio. Right? He's going to be right next to the Lord of the Rings sword yeah that's beautiful they're bringing him

what a beautiful spot was he an Anus fan he would have been yeah yeah he was like hey do you want me to bring my grandpa and we're like yeah fuck yeah do it please I didn't want to say no I didn't want to say no he put you on the spot

and then Luke the younger blutman who helps out with anus does a great job yeah i thought he was joking but then i got a text from mark where's the rest of that candy and he said i heard dad's coming too and we're in a real tough because you guys want him in the industry because we could also make like a... You can't say no. No, but I was going to say we could maybe put a trophy case in the entrance. Yeah. And everyone touches it.

Give something to Vicky. No, I don't want any. Your grandpa is coming? Gramps is coming? Hey, you're... Sit down. Your grandpa's coming? Your brother's not coming alone?

What? You don't know about this? So your brother is coming to town next week? Yeah. Empty-handed? I don't know what he's bringing. Okay. He probably doesn't know.

All right, so your grandpa just recently passed away yeah thoughts and prayers sorry sorry about that i did say sorry when i saw you on monday um he's bringing the ashes to the office that's a little weird from him but well and it's gonna be in the anus studio your brother said nobody wanted the ashes that's true so i guess it went through enough people to where it ended up with me and kyle had nobody wanted the ashes. That's true. So I guess it went through enough people to where it ended up with me and Kyle. Luke's actually going to be keeping. Your grandpa's going to be here.

You're in charge. Okay. So we're going to have three Blutmans. That's not bad. Yeah. No, I'm fine. Could be worse. I think that Nick and KB are more than capable of caring for the Ashes

and are more than deserving of getting to that. That is true, yeah. No, we will care for them. Is this a little weird, though, for you? Why won't you take them? Life's a weird place, eh? That's a good point. That's a really good point.

Goddamn. Do you think your grandfather, like, if he was with us today and we're like hey just so you know like you're gonna be in the anus studio would he be like awesome he would just give like a three second chuckle and then just say something that wasn't even close to uh relating to what he was told. Oh, okay. Like that. Apropos, yes. Okay. Yeah, we got him. Yep, yep. Yeah, I don't know. What else? I don't know.

It's weird that your dad didn't tell you. No, I don't really, I don't get told, like, a lot of things like that, but I also don't participate in a lot of those discussions. This is a big family discussion. I don't participate in a lot of those discussions this is a big yeah this family discussion i should i was i was told that i i was told that we weren't going to do a funeral and then big cat you asked if i need to go back to vegas for a funeral i was like no we're not doing one doing the zoom one so we were doing that i was told that uh was told yeah that's pretty much all i was told and then uh yeah i don't know so how did the ashes get to nick and kb before you were apprised of it i don't know probably because i

would have said what am i supposed to do with that yeah we got them yeah they all lost where'd you get this candy bar i feel like we should do i feel like the only disrespectful thing is it's like like we need to maybe even like do like a bidding war for these ashes where they sit so he feels a little bit wanted yeah i want the ashes here in the act studio we could chop them up no we're not let's don't don't start this i want him to feel wanted right we could take him around no he can end up with yours but i want to to at least declare, like, I want the ashes. So that it doesn't feel like, oh, you guys just ended up with, like... Thank you, Big Cat.

Yeah, right? The Blutman family's going to love this. Yeah, like, I want the ashes. Okay, yeah. I mean, we accepted the ashes. Right. I don't want that. I want there to be enough people to be like, no, I want the ashes.

You want demand for the ashes. Yeah, I want people to be like... You have to be hungry. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I want people to be like, oh, we need the ashes of Blumman's grandfather. Right. What was it?

Aaron Ralph Ralphie Boy Gramps. What was his name? Aaron Ralph. Ralphie Boy Gramps. I'm going to go with Ralphie Boy. I want Ralphie Boy. We think he used to run with the mob. Now I really want these ashes. What if he spent Mondays with anus Tuesdays with yak and he just went around the

building I don't hate that yeah but then you're trying is that resting in peace treating them like a like a circus act like or a child of divorce I think I'll point out that you you want that he's going to the anus studio like it's your grandfather's ashes. It's a great place to be. What about six feet? One of my ideas, like we did a trophy case in the front. It's almost like Clemson's Rock. What did you think? I don't know.

No? That's a little bit ridiculous. Come on, Dick. That's a little bit ridiculous. That was too far, yeah. No, not too far, just. Ridiculous? Yeah, a little too ridiculous.

I am in the works of trying to get us a piece of the aggro crack. Oh, that would be fucking amazing. Which we would make a trophy case for that. We should have Gramps be in the case race. Oh, yes. Have him come out as one of them. But that would suck if your Royal Rumble, he can't drink. Yeah. Absorbent. out as one of them but that would suck if your royal rumble is you can't drink yeah absorbent we had drinks at the old olive garden in recent months he was sipping at the olive garden yeah

that took us all by a surprise when he just randomly started ordering alcohol and i've done that for a year really got off the way yeah huh do you um have you uncomfortable a little bit yeah yeah i mean i'm a little uncomfortable that's why i want to make it like again my only uncomfortableness is that i don't want it to be like like this guy lived a great life has a great family i want him to be honored that people want him yeah not just given you? But you understand the position we were in. Yeah, I get it. I just wish... No, we don't want the ashes.

Nobody's ever said that. I wish... I think the weapons did. Lukey just told you that I'm taking this and you guys are going to take it? I think he asked us. Of course. What do you have in your apartment? Do you have any knickknacks, items, art?

I have a hat from the Cape Breton Eagles that they gave me. I have, you might like this one, Reptar cereal candy that I still haven't taken out of the wrapper. Oh, yeah. I don't know if that was just like Rugrats back in the day. Turtle Bao that Donnie got the other. Wanton Don, sorry. Wanton Don got the other week.

I ate one. I had some of it. Didn't eat the other. Probably shouldn't still have that. Should probably throw it away, but that's in the apartment. You have turtle bow in your fridge? It's not in the fridge. You have turtle bow sitting out?

That was for pie day. March 14th. Yeah, it was for pie. Oh, God. I don't know if you have month old turtle. This is the issue. I don't know if it goes bad because it's already green. I don't know if it goes bad.

You don't think cooked turtle goes bad? It's not cooked. It's like a pastry. I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. This is worse. We're debuting him tomorrow, but Mr. Pear has been procured. Oh. Is he in the office?

Yeah, he's in the office. So I don't. Mr. Pear. I like Mr. Pear. He needs to wear a turtle. We're talking about eating turtle. Mr. Pear. I like Mr. Pear. He needs to wear a turtle. But we're talking about eating turtle. Not real turtle. Turtle shaped.

It's not a cake. Max ate turtle soup. When? Yeah, his dad eats it all the time. Wait, do we have Connor on? Oh, yeah. What's up, brother? Oh, no.

All right, so what's the latest going on right now? I'm fucked. I tried to wedge this into my car. I'm still in my apartment building. I tried wedging it in my car. I got three legs in, and then I realized I wouldn't be able to get the fourth one in, so I tried getting this out so I could bring it back up to my apartment, and now I can't get it out.

I can't get it out. I can't shut the door. You can't drive home. No, well, I'm home. I can't drive back to the office. You can't drive here, yeah. Wait, you can't get it out? I cannot get it out. I went too far in.

How are you going to get it out? I'm going to have to get a screwdriver and You got to call a task or a mallet. Oh, my God. If there's a way you got it in, there has to be a way to get it out. Nick, I've tried. I don't know what to do. Well, we have a film festival meeting right after this.

If you don't make it, I'm going to be really pissed. Oh, shit, you're right. Well, yeah, I'm not going to be able to bring in the bar stool. I could bring it in tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. We can abort this mission for today because it feels like it's such a great story arc of the episode. It just keeps popping in. Can you hold the phone with one camera? Oh, sorry.

What were you saying, Nick? Can you hold the phone with one camera and try to wiggle the bistro around? I want to see how jammed it really is. Yeah, give us a full picture. And where are you? Outside or inside? He's already said he's inside. You can't just pull that?

Dude, I'm telling you, it's not working. I can't get it. Car might be totaled. That is a lot bigger than I thought. It looks huge. Yeah, that is the biggest piece. All right, that's enough. Yeah, yeah, Connor, we've seen it.

Yeah, you don't need to bring it in anymore. Yeah, you don't have to bring anything in. Or the chair. It's tall. That's the biggest Bistro. All right, that's enough. Yeah, yeah, Connor, we've seen it. Yeah, you don't need to bring it in anymore. Yeah, you don't have to bring anything in. Oh, the chair. It's tall. That's the problem. But, you know, as soon as I got in the car to drive home, I saw Evo come in. Do you have the legs over your shoulders right now? Yeah.

Nice. Classic. Okay. I thought this was all in the mystery, so this whole thing was so stupid. But now, yeah, I got to get this out of my car. Yeah. I really wanted to see that bistro. Really bad.

I need to break that chair. Yeah, I'll see what I can do, but I'm probably not going to be able to make it in before the act's over. I'm going to try and make it to the meeting, though, Nick. Yeah, you better. You don't have to bring the bistro and try to just get it back up to your. All right. We really put you in one, huh? Yeah, I'm sweating like crazy right now

but yeah great show I've been paying attention and I will be back soon alright all he did was say bistro and then it just hit a domino effect all he did was

not have it was Evo's bracelet. Yeah. You found a poopy bracelet. Yeah. It wasn't Connor's fault. He's the most innocent man in the world. Now he has a restaurant stuck in his car. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Damn. But I know, I guess maybe we kind of suck. I kind of want to send him on missions every day now. Yeah, I know. That was fun to have him just pop in every now and then. We'll get him a bistro. All right. Well, Blutman, to be continued.

Is your dad coming next week? No. Oh. Does he want to? I don't know. I know that several teams want him for the film. He's on our team, though. He's welcome to come.

He might be going to L.A. If he wants to come, I would love to have him. He's either going to L.A. or he's taking care of Bruin. Okay, I assume that's a dog. You saw the slideshow. That's right. We've got to get Angel Reese in there. Oh, yeah, new Sky.

Sky are back. Brandon, the chocolate. Very good. All right. Angel. We got to get Angel Reese in there. Oh, yeah. New Sky. Sky are back. Brandon, the chocolate. Very good. Very good. Yeah. Where did you get that? I've never seen that. What brand is it?

That Ebo's Bracket didn't have Milka. I was irate. That's the best chocolate. Yeah. And the best jerky is zombie? Alien. Alien. Alien.

That's what it is. That's where I got the Reptar cereal from. You got the Reptar cereal from Alien jerky is zombie uh alien alien that's what it is that's where i got that's where i got the reptar cereal from you got the reptar cereal from alien beef jerky up right there in uh baker's field or whatever baker california yeah the drive from vegas to la by sure yeah that's the best chocolate though uh milka yeah uh swiss german or something like that one of the two all right thank you Blutman we're going to have three Blutmans that's right

three Blutmans he was unfazed that's the thing it was just like a trickle down of do you want grandpa no and it went to it kind of makes him unfireable yeah you can't wow yeah unless you have yeah it does yeah you can't be like hey you're fired but we're gonna keep your grandpa

i don't think he'd ask for his grandpa no nobody else wanted him i think he's out i think if we fired him he would just leave and we would then be. We'd get Ralphie. Yeah. Ralphie boy. Should we just start maybe collecting ashes? Honestly, if you have a grandpa or grandma you don't want. No.

I don't know. Oh, no. I mean, it's not our worst idea. We literally did the body armor slap. I actually think this might be the worst idea. We've had, I mean, we literally did the body armor slap. I actually think this might be the worst idea. Scratch off week. Body armor slap game was way worse than collecting other people's family members' ashes. I think you know, like, already just because you said that, like, you know we're going to get ashes.

Yeah, we're going to get a lot. Yeah, this might have been a problem. All right. No ashes. Pause on the ashes. No ashes. We're going to have a discussion about whether we want ashes or not. It's too late.

It's too late. They're on the way. Yeah, you're right. The body armor slap game. Way worse than collecting a bunch of dead bodies. I can think of something worse. What? Snorting the ashes.

Oh. Yeah, bad. We're not going to. No. We're not going to open it up. You were about to say put it on the wheel. Don't. No, we're not gonna no we're not gonna open it up you were about to put it on the wheel don't no we're not gonna open it up but i do we could treat it like a a kindergarten hamster we could have it brought everybody has to bring them home one day your weekend with ralphie boy you

gotta take them at least one place nice yeah somewhere somewhere fun olive garden yeah ash Olive Garden. Yeah. Ash Wednesday on the wheel? I like Ash Wednesday. What are you wearing? Oh, just some Ram and Yak fans, Grandpa. Ralphie boy. There's a lot of twists and turns in this episode. Yeah, you didn't know it would end up here. Yeah. We've gone to some weird places.

Always the best. And we got within an eyelash. We might be friends with Conor Bedard. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah, really the only disappointment in this entire episode is Will Compton just being the least trustworthy person you can ever have in your life. Changing everybody's summers, everybody's vacation. Really, if you think about vacations and all the people that depend on us,

like, could have changed children's lives. I'm telling you, like, hopefully everyone gets here safely. Hopefully. And gets home safely. He almost has to hope that the original flight crashes. So he can say, I told you so. I saved you guys. Oh, my God. Yeah. tj would you like to say

oh no my mom just texted me this oh my god i bet you he wasn't until he heard this i want tim hitchings to live for a more years. Nothing would make him happier than if this were the situation and then you guys like chugged him on the air. I would like to officially call dibs on Tim Hitchings. I'd take a shot at Tim. I want Tim Hitchings in the Yak studio. Yes. That's fine by me.

How many urns do you think we can get in a month? No. Thousands. No, some. Thousands thousands as many as we want that's a wild text to get from your mom tj your mother's gonna be creepy out of context sure do your hoits i'll take a dead hoit oh my god i'd love it oh one of the crew could be dead one of the hoits could be cremated walk in with hoit stanley one side and just carry on no hoit would be holding hoit someone dibs on my ashes i don't want you dying no but like when i do like should we just get that plan and are these dibs legally binding yeah under these circumstances 100 well where do you want to go? Actually, you know what?

Let's not do dibs. I'll just say one thing. Do not mix me with Tim Hitchings. Oh, my God. That would be, I would be so mad if you guys did that. If you guys made a fucking smoothie of me and Tim Hitchings. Just a blend. Yeah.

You just had to fucking hang out for eternity. Just all interminglingling What the fuck is happening A cocktail of Tim Hitchings Brandon Now I kind of want to be mixed with Do you have any urns in your home No we go in the ground We're ground people

Worm Yeah we're worm food Yeah it was just good for business I kind of want to be cremated and just like Spread somewhere That's the usual go Yeah that feels nice Yeah I'd be fine with that

You could actually spread someone on this Carpet you wouldn't even know It would blend right in Maybe that's what we should do Make the yak studio like a burial ground If you go in the yak studio you're going to get so much shit on top of you. There will be ashes, yeah. You'll get puked on.

You'll get puked on. You might get peed on. Yeah. Which is fine if you're down for that. Think of how many people are mixed into the sand at beaches. Yeah. Everyone's like, spread my ashes at the beach. That's selfish.

You should know if there's a chance to inhale man. Yeah. I just can see it like we go down this path and then something happens and there's just a helicopter over our office

being like, there's been an incident at Barstool headquarters. We found DNA of 700 people. Yeah. What have they been doing? They're mixing ashes.

Brandon, you know when I get this urn, I'm going to sneak up and just be like, throw it to you. Oh yeah. Brandon, you know when I get this urn, I'm going to sneak up and just be like, throw it to you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We should get a fake urn, too, that looks exactly like a replica urn.

Yes. Yeah. So we just never know. I bet there's some cool-ass urns out there. Yeah. You would have a cool urn. Can we sell a yak urn? Why would I have a cool urn?

It would be like a cool sneaker or something, or like a ceramic. Depends on whatever arm he has. Oh, my God. Connor just texted. He said, there's a stoolie in my building apparently who's watching the yak, and he looked out his window and saw me carrying the table. He has a toolbox. He's helping me get it out now.

Tell him to FaceTime back in. Zoom back in. He's got to zoom back in. Zoom back in. I'll text him. Guy watching the show, come down. Roll up. Chill up. Yeah. Zoom back in. I'll text him. Guy watching the show, come down. Roll up. Chill up.

Yeah. Zoom back in. You want to do the NASCAR ad read, Brandon? I would love to. Thanks. That's pretty good. Ah, NASCAR. You can purchase tickets to tailgate with Brianna and Grace O'Malley

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Yes. What's this guy's name? Coulter. Say hi, Coulter. Coulter. What's going on, Coulter? What's up, Coulter. Say hi, Coulter. Coulter. What's going on, Coulter? What's up, Coulter? What a fucking hero.

I've been watching the hack, killing the work day. Had to come down. I saw him out the window. How wedged is it? Yeah. How wedged is it? It's not getting out without a screw in it. This is the best fucking story.

I need you and Coulter to be best friends after oh yeah yeah no absolutely he's the man i literally i got into the elevator uh after i went up and i grabbed the the screwdrivers and the whatever these are called i don't know what they're called but anyway i was in the elevator and then i see him with a toolbox and he's like oh my god i'm watching the show right now i came came to help you out. So, yeah, here we are. Yeah, it's a future beautiful friendship. Colter, can I ask you one question about your future friendship? Please. If Connor were to not be able to consummate,

would you step in with Kaitlin Walker? God damn it. God damn it, man. Colter? I think I can handle it you've got a beautiful friendship here I don't want it to go wrong I've got to do the right thing alright well

Connor let us know let us know when you get out we'll do our best to get it out before the show ends but it's looking rough alright maybe take a video of you getting it out too how did he do that I don't know how you can get something in and not be able to get it so stuck two men one bistro oh fuck that's just the funniest shit ever i'm just constantly checking in i needed to go i needed to go sideways even more

i need yes culture to get stuck. Coulter stuck in there. Someone else. Coulter. Coulter with a win. Yak fans. That'd be awesome to look out your window and just be like, wait, I'm watching that. Yeah.

Holy shit. Has he got his bistro? What's that dude do with his bistro? What the fuck? got his bistro what the fuck not the bistro yeah we got to buy connor a little bistro for the office that you can just sit at right behind us yeah just work what else chay what's up how How are we? Oh. Can we just go back one thing to yesterday? Because I did have a couple people comment this and hit me up. We did really pass over the fact that you've literally never once grilled a piece of meat yourself.

I got a lot of DMs with grilling tips and suggestions. A lot of people said a pebble grill. I'm not really familiar with what that is. But, yeah, a lot of people offered help, which was great. So maybe I'll make some content out of this. TJ, what's a pebble grill? I'll look it up. That's what I'd like you to do. But, really? 39 years old?

Oh, pellet. Pellet. Yeah, pellet. Did he say pellet or he said pebble? I said pebble. Oh, yeah, pellet grill. Pellet grill makes sense. Pellet grill is no problem.

What is that? You pour the pellets in the back. It's electric. Wait, no, but is it? It can be electric. Some of them are. It's electric or it's pellet? What are the pellets?

The electricity sparks and lights the pellets? Traeger grill. Are you saying it's electric like the grill itself? No. Electric. No, you plug it in and it... Is it bananas? It sends the pellets down to the...

Is it wild? Use a different word. It is powered. Electrically. Got it. It is powered electrically. Got it. It uses electricity. So you plug it into an outlet. Oh. Yeah.

Ah, Stephen got it. There's a word for that. It's called electric. Yeah, but you can see how we get confused. No. Here at the stool? It was just as basic as you can get. Ugh, that looks gross.

It's pellets. That looks like cat litter. No, it's pellets, guys. That looks like hamster bedding. Mealworm. They're easy. You can regulate them. You can also, on those, you can set an app on your phone,

and it'll read the temperature for you the whole time. It's basic bitch cooking. Show us the whole thing. I have one. And the pellets make the meat taste like the wood chips? It can be mesquite pellets. It can be hickory pellets. It can be any kind of pellets.

Could you cook without the pellets? Do you have to have the pellets or it adds zhuzh to it? No, that's what it uses to cook. It uses electricity. So what do the pellets do? But it's also electric. The pellets go down into the thing. It gets sparked up and they smoke.

And you go through the pellets and that into the thing, it gets sparked up, and they smoke, and you go through the pellets, and that's how it works. I'm doing a poor job of explaining it, but that's what it is. Is it easy to clean? Yeah. You don't know that. I think that's important when looking for a prospective grill. It's remarkably easy to clean.

It's probably as easy to clean as any grill. I don't know. Maybe a propane grill is probably easier. Charcoal's tough, but yeah. I feel like I'm going to be a propane grill is probably easier charcoal's tough but yeah i feel like i'm going to be a propane grill guy just grill just grill just go buy a grill go buy go to walmart buy a 39 coleman grill put it in your yard put some charcoal in it and put a fucking slab of meat down well i want to invest in this thing so i think i'm gonna buy one that i you know what if you don't like you need a grill first decide what you need to invest in i thing, so I think I'm going to buy one that I... But what if you don't like it? You need to grill first.

Decide what you need to invest in. I'm kind of just an all-in guy, so I'm going all-in on... You're 39. You've never done it. You're the opposite of an all-in guy. 38. I misspoke. You're 38. You've never done it.

You're the opposite of an all-in guy. You're a 38-year-old who's never grilled a piece of meat. There are a lot of us out there. No, there's not. Oh, no. Most married men at 38, I would say 95% of married men at 38 have grilled. I will never. Why?

You've grilled before. No. Yes, you have. I've eaten grilled food. I've never touched a grill. What? Don't need to. You're not married with a finger.

I eat what I want when I want. What do you mean? It's not you're not married with a thing i eat what i want when i want what what do you mean it's not like oh i yeah that was kind of badass but that's what that's how grill guys are there's no grill guy who's like yeah i'm kind of a bitch no they're super proud they're super proud i'm i'm that you are yeah yeah i'm like i grill i have a grill. I will grill. I'm kind of a bitch about it. Steven, the reason they told you pellet grill is it's almost impossible to fuck up.

You can't fuck it up. Well, how would I fuck up a propane grill? A lot of ways. I don't have a propane grill, but you can fuck that up. You can fuck charcoal up very easily. Charcoal is the easiest one to fuck up. Yeah just want the lowest maintenance easiest one cooking on a stove outside well they've tried to tell you that the lowest maintenance one is the pellet grill well yesterday you told me it was propane i didn't you didn't know about electric you have a pellet

grill and you didn't consider it i have uh you just don't want to have the same grill you have well he's never gonna have the same grill you have. He's never going to have the same grill I have, brother. Come on. What kind do you have? I have a Rectac 1250. And an Acorn Komodo. Grill guys. Acorn Komodo?

What's the Acorn Komodo? Or Komodo Acorn, excuse me. Oh. That's okay. All right. Okay. It's a big green egg-like apparatus. A dupe?

Yes. It's very good. Art has an acorn, your neighbor. Oh, he. Come on. Come on. Oh! Kate.

That's right. Zinger. Itty bitty. Have you seen Art? I haven't seen him. We're going to go to Mater's soon in Milwaukee, our favorite German restaurant. Probably Sunday. You think?

Just you two? No, we take the boys. Oh, he has boys. Mm-hmm. He has a boy. I take the boys. Oh, he has boys. He has a boy. I have three boys. And we take the boys and we get a big pretzel and we get a pork shank. It's a beautiful time.

You guys have kids. You do your thing. We're going to talk, talk shop, talk adults. Do you guys have inside jokes? No, come on. Probably a little. That's nice of you that you can make it boys for him. Because he usually just takes a boy. Yeah, but I bring all the boys you that you can make it boys for him because usually just takes a boy yeah but i bring all the boys yeah you make it boys i have a lot of boys yeah

art brandon and the boys yep sometimes we take the whole family one time we've taken the whole family how many times you've been out with this guy's many times what the fuck you time we've been to mater's three times you've been out with this guy many times? What the fuck? A few times? We've been to Mater's three times. You've been to Mater's three times? What? Out of state, dinner out. Well, first of all, Mater's in downtown Milwaukee is closer to my house than Chicago is. It's still a trip. That's a 30-minute trip.

It's 40, 45. Oh, yeah. That's a road trip. So you guys are closer than I thought. Yeah, we like going to Mater's. It's a good place. It's German. You all pile in the same car?

There's no piling. We have big. You all pile in the same car? There's no piling. We have big cars. You guys take the same vehicle? Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that's dinner. Who's playing the music or are you just all chatting? Whoever's driving.

Who drives? Well, he drove once. I drove once. Say three times. The family, both families drove themselves. No, actually, you know what? I lied about that. The women drove his car, and I drove us in our car.

So he sat shotgun? Yeah. Have you driven with him driving? Uh-huh. Is your wife and arts wife friends, or are they just by? Oh, they're great friends. Really? He sat shotgun in another man's car?

They're good people. Have you never sat shotgun in another man's car? Ever. good people. Have you never sat shotgun in another man's car? Ever. Yes, you have. Yes, you have. You're lying. You're all trying to be, ooh, I'm so cool, but you've all sat shotgun in another man's car. Every single one of you.

Tiny dick energy. Are you going to try to drag Art to fucking the concert with us? Because I don't want to do that. No, Art's not. That's an us thing. You know to art art could be our designated driver all right art art enjoys a good beer he enjoys a good beer when you next are out can art sit in your seat Come on. Oh, I... He's... What? He's petite, isn't he? Is he tiny?

Because you want to be the big friend. A big, looming friend. He's a big friend? Art Tiny. You want to be the big-ass friend. Oh, Art's not... You're a petite neighbor, Art. Oh, man.

He's a buck 20 soaking wet. He's 6'2". He's a jockey. Art's 6'2". He's 6'2", probably 205. No chance. Yeah, I tell you, he's a thick boy. Art's tiny, you're right. He's not tiny.". He's a jockey. Art's 6'2". He's 6'2", probably 205. No chance. Yeah, I tell you he's a thick boy. Art's tiny.

You're right. He's not tiny. Art's not tiny. Tiny little Art. What's Art do for a living? I can't say that. Okay, that's fair. Can't say that.

All I will say is eat at Delicious Antioch Pizza. There are eight locations in the northwest suburb of Chicago. He's a food guy. Franchising opportunities are available. What does he recommend? The small sausage? It's all good. It's all good.

Oh, he's doing this for free pie. Yes. I'm happy you have a friend, though, Brandon. I'm not. You guys have insulted me for two days. You're not happy I have a friend. And I'm happy I have a friend. No, I'm not. You're right. I held that for a while.

Yeah. I'm still going to be friends with him. I might get a second friend. Wait, who? There's a guy that I got my eye on. What? Other neighbor? Are you competing with anyone? No, it a guy that I got my eye on. What? Other neighbor? Are you competing with anyone? No, it's a guy I got my eye on. What caught your eye about him?

I need to learn his name. He has a beautiful bass boat. Oh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. What kind of lawnmower you got? The HOA cuts my yard. Oh.

Shit. Yeah. Oh. Can you get him to do something about that driveway the driveway's fine nobody has ever made that mistake except one person hundreds of people have come in and out of that driveway over the years and that's never happened where's he been i haven't seen him around i can't expect him to work on a tuesday He was here earlier. Was he? Yeah, he did the Wake Up Men TV. What are you doing? I have an interview coming up.

Oh, it seemed like you were doing something. Sending a link to the guest. Big Cat, buy Arts House. Go up and make him move. Make him move. Blank check. Give him a Titus offer. Yeah.

I'm happy for you, Brandon. And we're going to see Tim McGraw. Blank check. Give him a Titus offer. Yeah. I'm happy for you, Brandon. And we're going to see Tim McGraw. That's right. That's right. Up on your turf. Let's get dinner beforehand. We're going to. Are you staying the night at Brandon's house?

No, I got a hotel. You know where we could eat? You want to go there? We could eat at Mater's, but... How close is that to... It's across the street. But we don't have to. Try something new.

You're right, I need to try something new. You gotta try to touch art. I wanna touch art. You have to touch art. You can't touch art. For us. You have to touch art. Alright, I'll touch art.

Forgot your hug to art. I'll go real low, though. Yeah! The stoolie who came and put my peer in, I don't know if y'all saw him. Your pyre? Quadzilla. Big tree trunks on this boy.

Huge legs. Art was over when he was there. So, oh. You shouldn't have told us that. He touched Art. Oh. Handshake. Manshake.

Manshake. Manshake. Can we do a last one to touch Art? bad quits has to gets fired but it has to be smooth art can't know that you're touching him for a reason you can do a man shake yeah i think uh bffs is gonna have the montana boys on this week. Really? And I let Austin know that we do have a first one to touch Montana Boys. Oh, Kai. Yeah, I knew this. Yeah, I did too. We've been scheming.

We were going to scheme. We were going to surprise you with a Montana Boy. We were going to have him wrapped up. Yeah. Plant him. I need one. I mean, we still can. Yeah, surprise me.

I don't know if you see it coming. Okay. Surprise me. I would love to be surprised with a Montana Boy. Okay. And you could do whatever you want with him love it I'm going to have him go

and punch Art in the face this is from Brandon no I'm happy have you guys you're going to do a baseball game together I'm sure they're going to do a Brewers game there are more basketball guys. Really?

Mm-hmm. What do you mean by that? Is Hart white? How high can Hart jump? Is Hart white? Hart is remarkably white. Oh. That would have been crazy.

You would have been a hero. That would have been like the doctor is the mother. That's a horse named Friday. Alright, so I'm going to do the High Noon ad read and then we'll spin the wheel. I like your shoes a lot, Brandon. Thanks. You want them? I have a pair. I do.

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Find the High Noon Tequila Seltzer Fiesta Pack nearest you at highnoonspirits.com. High Noon suns up. Mm-mm. Did it. All right. This has been a great show. We touched a lot of bases. It was the perfect yak in that it just went in places we never knew

I think Roan's here tomorrow I think Pat Bev is also here and is Titus back? Titus is back Friday we have Rough and Rowdy but I think Roan and I, our flight, we don't have to leave until about like 1.15 so we'll be here for the majority of the show

oh! where is he? We got it. Yeah! All right. Let's see it. So I can fit it in my car now because we took off the entire left part, and I can also get it out.

Wait, but yeah, don't bring it in still. I can bring it in tomorrow. But theoretically, I could bring it in tomorrow. No, but... I'm going to have to reassemble it either way. Nah, we're good. Yeah, the moment's passed. Alright. Shout out to Colter.

Colter's the man. You need him to put it back together. Yeah. Well, you know, he's going to have to... The desk is pretty cool with the chairs Colter's still here Colter

that's amazing that was a great pop in by Colter holy shit alright bring in the chair tomorrow bring in the chair tomorrow alright sounds good

yeah we're all set over here I'll be back for the meeting, Nick. Shower first. You look drenched. I am drenched. I'll at least wash my face. But yeah. Alright, we'll see. Hey, if you want to bring it in.

I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I'll see you guys. Yeah, maybe bring it in I want to see it anytime you say you're not doing this it kind of fucking sucks you got to do it alright I'll bring it in

but don't let us see it until tomorrow I want to start the show with the bistro alright it'll stay in the back of my car until tomorrow. Cool. So now you don't have a bistro on your house for the night. What about the bistro on your house? I'll leave it on the floor.

No, I think you've got to bring it back into your house for the night and then put it back in your car. I can't do that. Connor, you don't have to bring it in. Just bring in the chair tomorrow. Alright, sounds good. Alright, I'll see you guys. But if you wanted to. I think he should. I'm torn. Do what you think's best.

Yeah, bring... I mean, it'd be a waste if you didn't. At this point, if you didn't bring it in, it'd be crazy. You have to bring Coulter in to build it? Yeah, bring in Coulter and the Bistro tomorrow. Make sure Coulter's there. But hide Coulter. Keep Coulter in the back of the car too. Yeah, we want Coulter to build the Bistro tomorrow.

Yeah, that would be perfect. Coulter says he's probably going to be working. I'm going to get his contact info, and we will work out a situation where maybe he could get off of work for a little bit to come in and build it. I don't think we were asking. No, I don't think Coulter gets it. You just became a character, bud. Oh, yeah.

You're locked in. We're going to build it tomorrow. I'm going to hang up the phone before there's any more of this. Bring it in and tell Colter to wear some good shoes for the gauntlet. Do you want to do the gauntlet? No.

That wasn't a question. Colter's doing the gauntlet. I'll rip it in flip-flops. Coulter's doing the gauntlet. All right. I'll rip it in flip-flops. All right. Okay. He is wearing flip-flops right now.

Well, he has a day to not wear flip-flops. One day to prep. Yeah. He has a full day to get out of flip-flops. That's one of the easiest shoes to change out of. I'll rip it in flip-flops, Coulter. I guess I'm walking in. I fucking love Coulter. All right.

All right, see ya. So what did we decide? Are you not bringing it in? Oh, he is bringing it. I am bringing it in tomorrow, and I'm going to hang up on that. It's not really necessary. I wouldn't worry about that. All right.

I'll talk to you guys later. All right, okay. All right, bye. He's bringing it in. I hope. I fucking love Coulter. I'll rip it in flip-flops. Dude, we're giving you 24 hours to not be in flip-flops. Dude, we're giving you

24 hours to not be in flip-flops. Connor and Colter is a pretty good team name. Yeah, they are. They might just be a duo. Yeah, I can see that. Connor might just have to split his salary with them. All Colter does is walk behind him

with a toolbox. I want him to be like a cartoon character, never change his outfit. All right, TJ, spin our wheel. Great yak. Man, Hoyts, Coulters. We got them all. Ashes, grandpas. Oh, my friend lives in Chicago.

We're good. Nice. All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow. Great yak. Please subscribe. we're good alright we'll see everyone tomorrow Great Yak please subscribe It's a Yak It's your straws, yeah, style of tape. For a while, it's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap.

It's the act. It's the act. Have a good one, everybody. Rough and Rowdy Friday. Be sure to tap in for that by rnr.com. Bye.