The Yak - Nicky is Going Full Seal for Galentine's Day | The Yak 2-13-25

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Knock down gingerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm the coolest one out of all of us. One of those days folks. It's gonna be a long Thursday for y'all. And it's gonna be long for us. But at least you can find some comfort in your Roeback clothing. The Yak is presented by Roeback.

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That's code YAK for 20% off your first purchase. We all love Roeback. I'm Roeback from neck to ankle right now. Not too bad. Although this isn't Roeback. Why is this called a Penny? Your head to your toe back. Oh.

Little Roeback. This is Roeback, this is Roeback. Uh oh. Why is it called a Penny? Penny Hardaway? No No the jerk the jerk Yeah, that's why I thought it was I NMI a penny is it called a penny I was almost so pinholes. I thought I thought I don't know if only Brandon bundled up in some Robecks We can make it here today, but pennies. Oh my god. I thought it was a penny

They always have a real specific smell to him. You know what I mean that penny smell they do yeah, oh my god Oh boy,. Oh my god. Oh boy. Oh Oh my god Galentine's day She's seen someone red or yellow I'll go with I'll go with yellow. I'll take the yellow. I feel like that's a respectable mom old lady color No, not a prank Alright Kate. I guess it's your turn to reciprocate smokes, okay

No, I don't I want I'm getting your tick tocks your Sit down for a second. I want to talk about this. He's overtaken my feed. I'm getting your shit sent to me constantly. Oh this Is this a new thing for you to do the car TikTok and be like chicks are like and then say something in sports? Is this like a new lane for you? I mean I've always been an in car rant kind of guy but like I'm coming back to my roots of sweeping the streets. You got it because I'm confused by the rebrand like you're doing like some sort of detail like you look great by the way thank you thank you but I thought that was from a place of like I want to leave the old me in the past well I ripped into this new me but then you're also still the old you

yeah so I realized I was you playing the club don't matter if you went the distance like Devin has thrown the first play of the Super Bowl Or if you went Jalen hurts on the one yard line a touchdown is a touchdown She can say oh you score too quick or oh it was fourth and inches Sweetheart it does not matter a touchdown is a touchdown And my boy doesn't even matter if you found her end zone one time or a hundred times you want that stat sheet forever They can say whatever they want, but at the end of the day, if they want to talk shit, they shouldn't have let you score it in the first place, my boy. Oh, God.

Oh, God. You went all the way to God. Can't just keep it past this pack over to... No, but you're right. There was a rebrand, and I think my biggest rebrand is just stop doing coke, but I like... I'm like like I am who I am like I'm always gonna be the Douchebag like the player like and I I came to find out like me trying to change who I am wasn't really me You're trying to change yeah, so like I change how I look yeah body looks good And I'm trying to cut out. I'm basically just trying to cut out like this dumping sack every time okay? Yeah, all right

I make say the same sounds like you just had a cocaine problem It's like I would be no fun if I was in here all proper like recruiting unbelievable ratio by Brandon Walker I knew I was dead the second he sent And it was such a good point. I can't believe I didn't think of that before I made the video I want I want more of this content though. I want more of Picking up I just posted a new one today. Oh, the importance of the day before Valentine's Day. It's on Twitter Oh, and I want you to make the yeah, this is it right here. Can I give you a metaphor? Yeah, all right Can you make a video on?

Not being able to get hard Can you make can you put that in NBA terms for me? Yeah, okay? I appreciate that I can plug in Roman Sparks after there we go Yeah, I want these to make less and less sense as you go Yeah, I want you to like picking up chicks is like when your star player gets two files in the first half And you got to decide am I gonna pinch them that's actually a bar right there I think I'm like calling timeouts man. Yeah, yeah Give you the first line then you try to rationalize

But I want you to run out of mainstream sports and like next motor cricket like you know getting head is like Jaya lie All right, I'll try that all right got you, but yeah that day before Valentine's Day single Kings listen up That's good. That's good shit right there. That's good shit. All the same Kings like it on Let me watch a little bit TJ. Let me see what he's got is it out If you're a single king today is one of the most important days of your life Do not waste it all the real dogs know Valentine's Day ain't for the couples It's for the dogs tomorrow is the Super Bowl but today is about anybody who says Valentine's Day shouldn't be able to dude I just now remembered wasn't smokes doing a thing where he was barking in the middle of his. Yep.

Yeah. He couldn't keep that dog. He looks great. He looks great. Which it's awful because it's gonna make him more confident. He's being like pray for the city of Chicago this summer, which is like very threatening. The way he's raising it is like,

y'all better pray, y'all better hide. That's what you do after natural disasters. There's a predator on the loose, and it's me And you'll never catch God damn it. Oh, I think it's syphilis in his brain Oh, that could make a lot of said happen to Howard Hughes really yeah, but again. He looks great. He does look great It's getting to the point where I can't even control it Oh, I think I'm running into a fucking dog I've eaten more pee this month, and I have my entire life, and I'm not talking about the box

I'm talking about protein. I feel like Albert Einstein writing on a chalkboard right now. I'm so fucking dialed in all right I'm starting to get Speaking of speaking of douchebag videos if you see the um Speaking of speaking of douchebag videos if you see the Evo sent to the mostly sports chat the latest. What's that podcast called TJ? To poppy the Arizona State one. Oh, yeah there. What's the newest development TJ? They're going off campus there go or I guess they're going on tour there. They're they're exploring other campuses They were in Tuscaloosa. That's the clip he sent us.

Yeah. So fucking funny. Anus has reached out to them. Oh, really? And I think we will be in Arizona coming up. Amazing. The top sororities, Alabama. Shit, bro, I'm going to have to go with shout out Theta.

And probably my fine sheets over at Sigma Kappa. Yeah, I'ma probably go DZ, bunch of hookers over there. Jesus Christ. New Jersey Moneyline. Honestly, if I had to go with, let's say give it a top three sororities, we'll go AFE, Zeta, Find U, no particular order, you know, but definitely think those are all the fine. She's opposed. Yes That's unbelievable. I love those guys, but I love those no scenes of the campus nothing just them sitting in a non-descript place We're actually giving them Rudy. He's joining that show full-time Rudy would fit in oh my God. Yeah, yeah

Yeah What do he hate them no similar we should just have Rudy and smoke start a competing podcast against them yeah my god and who else I think that might be it our host isn't here Sam talent yeah he was great he's the man he was great so I I'm admittedly confused and I was scared to ask He was in Chicago. Why is he not here today? He has he had to fly back to Denver today, but he's Talking about the show Friday He is the most touring comic. Yeah, he's always on the road Yeah, but he'll be back. I don't know if we'll be on the show tomorrow, but

Yeah, Brandon he'll be back. I don't know if we'll be on the show tomorrow, but Yeah, Brandon is not here Yeah He's no yeah, there's snow on the ground. Oh, yeah stay home with kids. Yes, I don't know He said the drive-in was gonna be tough And he said he'd check the roads this morning and get back to us to get back to you He did not have you talked to him since I was not oh Or no closings to report. Oh in Illinois public schools So his kids still went to school, but he didn't go to work. I think so

He might have gotten way too into fucking in New Orleans again. Yeah, well also he was on the ball Yep, he was on the bottle. I think He was always on the wagon this might be his first time off the wagon Yeah, it was a problem Kyle's at the dentist again. Yeah same tooth. Are we concerned at this point? I think uh-huh. It's not true Yeah, that would that would explain yeah cuz like wait the first one was true though. He didn't come in and and fake the Yeah, who's to say Why did he go initially what was the problem?

Again, he won't he doesn't It was a cleaning right? It was just a deep teeth clean. I want to say something True, I don't know Kyle. Don't know him. Never met him. That's all I can say. That's it. Yeah. If anybody in the office wants to hop on the Yak, now's your time. Who's in the cave?

Who's in the cave? Alright, let's look at the candidates here a lot of wait go right. It's up is that beef Yeah, that is I think I think that's beef Quigs spider Tommy Nah, he's insecure about the hair. That's why he's got. oh, yeah, we broke him. Oh my god. Yeah, he looks like Who's uh who's the murdered boy in American history acts Edward furlong? Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah Well, that's the yak

I was looking at a map of England yesterday of the UK of what they called ding-dong ditching Do you guys see this? Oh? Of course the British doorbell and run yeah, but what like what is of England call it call it yes And it's there's like hundreds. What do they call it? I think the one is called ditch the ginger Huh if you go up north is called Belfast which is hilarious. Yeah. Oh that makes a lot of sense. Yes Yeah, but TJ if you could find that we could break it down It's some really it's some interesting stuff. Yeah, okay knock down ginger or knock door run

so there So the knocking nine doors, that's great. I like that good nickname chap door run so they're so knocking nine doors that's great I like that good nickname chap door run chap chap is good so they have like just a thousand ways to there's every every section has three answers they're so stupid man knock down a lot of not ditches only 8%. Ratatat ginger. Bobby knocking? I was, sorry mother, I was ratatat gingering. Jerry knocking, that's kind of horny. Knock on door, ding dong ditch. I fear I've been ratatat gingered.

I have, speaking of ringing the doorbell, I have a pet peeve that people just don't ring doorbells anymore. People don't, they'lls anymore people don't they They'll tell your friends will text you that they're outside your delivery drivers will just simply not ring the doorbell They'll just like you have a baby. You'll be glad oh yeah. Yeah, I do have a doorbell um I Prefer the people ring it so I know you're there. Do you have like the old-school chimes in your house? No I got the Dumbass ring I have chimes in my place here. That's pretty sick.

It's loud and it happens once maybe every other month and it scares the fuck out of me. So you think people aren't ringing out of courtesy? I don't know, but... I think the ring cam ruined ding-dong ditching and now a lot of people, if you have that cam, you get like an alert to your phone that someone's in the door already. I hate my neighbors have a ring cam. They're lovely. But their front door is like very close to mine.

So I'm coming out the front door looking like ass with the kids and I'm like, come on guys, and I'm like kind of being a bitch. They've caught me at my worst. And they can constantly see me at my worst. When I'm, yeah. So I kind of hate that a little bit.

I do, anytime I order food, I put in the notes, please ring the doorbell because I'll order it and then I'll go about my business and like tidy up around the house or try to do shit before the food gets there and I want you to ring the doorbell to let me know. I'm not like tracking that there's a email sent

that says delivered or anything. I have it online too. I just feel like it's a simple thing. Like please ring the doorbell. And then doorbells, they don't. And then even my friends don't. I'll tell them I't I'll tell my yeah like all if I invite people over I'm like hey, just let me know when you're here, and then they'll text me. I'm standing on your porch That's that taking fucking doorbell doorbell. Yeah, I uh when I order food

When I over eats food I will Be courteous. I'll see when they're there, and I'll wait on the porch But they're never ready to take the picture. And I always try to look hot in the picture. I'll like bite my cheeks and like pose. But I've never looked good in those pictures. I might start collecting them. Pose like a senior picture.

What do you think's a better etiquette, I live in a high-rise, for the delivery driver to leave it in the lobby or for it to have him go up to my even a lobbies Yeah, that's so inconvenient, but sometimes you It's prone to be taken other times I'll go through the lobby and people will uber eats groceries, and they'll be like eight bags just in the communal place That's it. Yeah, that's a wild move. I'd rather have it you want it you want to brought to your door

which yes sense in that you already are paying the guy or The service for him to take it from the restaurant all the way right across town in the lobby. I might build up What's the harm and getting in the elevator and going up three floors? That's what I'm finishing the job, right? That's what I'm saying I don't know man. I uh You're finishing the job, right? That's what I'm saying. I don't know, man. I Uber-eats in New Orleans late one night from IHOP, but I didn't know IHOP was next door to the hotel.

Right next door. So I was waiting in the lobby for the guy and he hit me with a, you serious? And I was so embarrassed. And then some of our coworkers walked past as I was getting the IHOP bag, and they probably thought I was the laziest piece of shit. It was right next door.

Directly next door. It was connected to the hotel, yeah. There might have been a door where I didn't have to go outside. Yeah, yeah the laziest piece of shit. It was right next door There might have been a door where I didn't have to go outside Yeah, yeah, it was one of those I and I the delivery time was like 30 minutes cuz he was so far away Yeah, my shit was cold that's tough. Yeah, it was bad It was bad. I'll purposely order from places that aren't close to me, so I don't look like you in that situation Yeah, it is. It's it's inherently lazy. I think to do that, but I love it. That's part of out of that part about it Quick admin note tell us if you guys are okay with it tomorrow Valentine's Day Finally kicking off the Mackenzie dating show. Oh

Really kicking it off We have round two going right now. The emails I'm getting are so good the criteria We'll go over it tomorrow the answers and stuff amazing I think we're gonna try to narrow it down because we got nothing crazy going on tomorrow No, it's 30 a crazy number to throw out there on it all PowerPoint. We'll go through them No, yeah And I know people are concerned that it won't be the same as the Jake one you've sent us some stuff we got some freaks we got some real freaks you want to say what

you sent us yesterday I mean no disrespect to the guy at all I just made it made me go oh oh yeah the point is that we're flipping the Jake one on its head last time we were going to be horribly need Jake mercilessly we were nice to the contestants this time it's gonna be the opposite I think I'm the wrong person running this because even in the like asking them you should read the letter I sent to them to like respond it's like it's like a novel but if you're choosing they're gonna be like little beefs well they're all I've that's what I need help this afternoon

because I gave them all I've gone through them all so far and I'm like they're all perfect they all can go to the next round She's not in on any of this right like this is not a first time she sees she will not be aware Yeah, tomorrow will be the first time I guess I should probably ask her if she can be on the show She's pretty important part of it, but there was one guy one of the questions is like. What is your most prized possession? It's like something that when people come over you got it You show you show it off or like a family heirloom or something fancy or whatever. And like if your house is on fire, what are you grabbing? And this guy, I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not or if it was genuine. His grandfather lost his eye and the crew more. Thank you. Sorry to hear.

Had a glass eye that he wore the rest of his life and now he keeps the glass eye in a clear container You can see the eye on his bedside table. There's no that was he sent a photo of it Ball It's an eye. That's for sure that's I don't think there's anybody that's that close with their grandpa to where they're gonna Keep his eyeball the rest of his thing was great. So fuck it. have bloodman's grandpa Yeah, I can't that is true. I have him in his entirety you have someone else's grandpa Yeah, this is at least this guy's grandpa. Yeah, this is at least so you know there's some interesting responses though There's some really interesting people but like a rogue guy on a shelf would be much different than on a nightstand nightstands for like Sacred objects I feel like also the things that would that's what he would grab if he his place was on fire true

Because I got so many good and everybody's being so much fun and like so game so thanks to everybody That's the eyeball. That's yeah, that's just the that whole thing is the eyeball. I think it's in a container in a container Piercing I guess I see now I see I want him to bring it in that the Fellas if you send me stuff it might wind up on the yak I feel like that's a given That's yeah, and of course I'm like feeling bad, but this guy will have my vote Listen guy if you're watching I want that yeah, if you give it to me I'll make sure you make it through to at least the final five bring it through But yeah, I figured tomorrow would be a good day to go through all that and it's Valentine's Day

So we'll go perfect day for a perfect day for it. Does the beef have anything romantic planned? I don't think so We're not in that season of life. Does the beef know it's Valentine's Day. Probably not. That's okay I've never been a huge like Valentine yes see this is the problem my wife has me in hell every really she is a We don't kind of care about Valentine's now. I don't care. No we don't we don't made up on mark I don't I don't need you to do anything It's just like a made-up polka and then Valentine's Day comes around I mean it would have been nice if we went to dinner Yeah, it was all these events I'm just saying like my my best friend her husband took her to dinner like it would have been nice to

Mm-hmm. It's a trap Kate. It's a trap. It's a it's a Valentine's Day and Mother's Day we say we don't care, but we care, but you absolutely care So why don't you just say you care no because we want you to care on your own Have you asked your wife to do your valentine yet? That's a great point. You fucked up That's a great you have to ask you don't think Connor Griffin is oh my god. Yeah, dude. Did he ask your wife? He may have. Where's Stefan? There's a chance. She wouldn't say yes. I don't know he's been wearing a chain How does Connor Griffin look photoshopped in every photo? Have you talked about this the recent time to time yeah, but like there was that one where he was on the the the porch outside

Mm-hmm. He posted one from New Orleans where again. He looked 2d. I think it's his hair line He's got like a very specific hair is very crisp. There's no flyways not that one It was one from like daylight on Bourbon Street, but even still you could say that that one doesn't have dimension Yeah, he's got no depth to not of this plane. She's two-dimensional. He's got a very even skin tone and very set Lines I feel there's one he posted that might as well have been a fucking poster of him on Bourbon Street, I think It's yeah That's like the little heads girls bring on bachelorette parties of their husbands

What is that looks fake as fuck? Yeah looks he was cut out and he's a different color than everybody. Yeah dudes flat as hell Something's amiss something is amiss Also our yak couple from Orlando. they're going on their fifth date tomorrow for Valentine's Day. They've fucked three times. Yeah, they've fucked. Probably anal. Respectfully.

Yeah, you're right, Danny. Wait, are you texting them? I'm in contact with them, yes. Ask about anal. So fifth date is Valentine's? Oh! Why is that bad? He's going to make it official.

I mean, that's official at this point, right? That could be. This is going gonna make it official. I mean that's official at this point right that could be This is gonna make or break the relationship. They said it's going really well He's gonna make it official on Valentine's Day, so he remembers the anniversary smart, and if he doesn't it's just awkward then yeah She's expecting it the worst was in like middle school remember They would do like candy grams, and you could send whatever and all the other kids would get a ton of them you got like not a lot of them. I remember we had to put up like we had to make our own Valentine's boxes and you would walk around and drop Valentine's in and

a lot of like the hotter young boys in my class would get like you're cute or I love you and I always just got like you're funny. Even like my 8th yearbook, just like, yeah, like you're a friend, not even good. But the hunks in my class were collecting it. I'd suck your cock. I'd suck your cock. I wanna suck your cock.

That's what mine said, when I was in seventh grade. Yeah, you were getting all of those. Yeah, just open it up and say, I do what I it like to suck a cock these girls don't think I'm funny Grass is always greener. Yeah, that was hard for you Titus. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, that is brutal. Yeah, they are do you think? Our kids I guess like can you discriminate do you think kids can still discriminate or is there like initiatives from teachers that you have to? Give Valentine's to everybody yeah, you have to say you want everybody's yeah, you bring one No No, no Sarah if you're gonna suck this yeah, you have to so I know he's ugly

But it's fair Yeah, I don't know if they're still doing that There's the little boxed Valentine's those have to exist still oh, yeah, I'm with like a sucker Yeah, yeah, just send one from yourself from a secret admirer. I've ever my school never did those oh really no We did they would like stand in front of the class like in Mean Girls and like be like so-and-so Here's a bunch for you I'm sorry Kate. You got one from Nikki smokes. I did thanks. I'm waiting for it to squirt out the top Electric

So that that was that that's a Valentine's Day thing I heard you say gallant times that what is the day before Valentine? I guess I missed all the gals upstairs wearing like cute pink and red cardigan. You think you missed it You think you missed it? And think you missed it, Kate? And they're all pushing each other. It's in the spam folder, maybe, Kate? I notice they all match. They do.

They do. And I saw you were sitting near them. Yep. Which I normally don't do. You must have missed it, honey. Hey, so what are you up to tonight? Nothing. They are all going out to dinner together. Oh, no. Hey, so what are you up to tonight? They're like, uh, nothing. They are all going up to dinner together.

Oh no. Yeah, I'm sure you forgot to respond to the email. They asked me after I heard them talking about it. That made a difference. Ah. You're wearing Army green. Fuck. We're getting facials tomorrow.

Yeah? All the gals. All right. My wife might be getting one too. Okay, yeah In office or future office is there somebody coming in yes Why is it just for girls you can sign up if you want I guess nah? I've never gotten one can't be coming. We're just showing oh boy You've never got a facial mm-hmm so

Maybe I'll be hot after that really just wait and see and maybe Maybe maybe maybe um Now is a great time actually To talk about Mountain Dew add a blast of refreshing tropical lime flavor to your day with Mountain Dew Baja blast New Orleans there was Mountain Dew Baja Blast. New Orleans, there was Mountain Dew Baja Blast everywhere. I think that's all I ingested. And I was better for it. The Mountain Dude came through. That's right.

And then he was on the commercial with Seal. That was great. That was great. I love Seal. I love the Mountain Dude. Did you know Chaps and I once went to San Francisco to the dock with all the Seals and we sang Seal. No way.

Acapella for the crowds there for a video that, looking back, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. No shit, that makes sense. It was funny, got a few numbs. Not as good as the Mountain Dew though, it was refreshing. Mountain Dew was refreshing, it's so delicious, so refreshing, so perfect for any occasion.

Ride the Baja Wave and grab Mountain Dew Baja blast for you And your crew wherever refreshing beverages are sold Seal got prime clume Yeah, he really did great singer, but Prime clume what was the what's the backstory with the face situation? Oh the the yeah? He looks like Deadpool um I Don't I don't know was it like a childhood disease a? Burn was the burn was it a burn was he burnt I

Think I'm bad acne was no way that no shit. I was like a joker scar no way Actually turned out to be this coyed lupus my first birthday remember sitting on a wall and a small spot start. That's weird. That's a Mm-hmm in this What else what's his other hit besides the Batman song I think it's just kiss from a rose from a rose Yeah, I'm trying to find that awful video of me singing on seal pier It's one of the most awkward things we ever did back at one obviously is his Yeah, there's yeah Yeah, how is seal so famous that song was just humongous does that's a billion streams

Hold on I found it Video might have been lost from the back and it's not playing. Oh, no Issue I found it in a tweet LMFAO have more bangers and seal yeah, I'm a fear so See yeah, he's one of those guys that I assume just had Dozens of big hits and now that I'm it's the name in the face Dozens of big hits and now I know that I'm it's the name in the face High school you love seal in high school Yeah, the the girl that would drive us to lunch cuz she had a minivan We would always open the doors on the way back into the parking lot and blast from kiss from a rose to like fuck with

other people That in a pony genuine, that's a good. I still request that from time to time They're the girls wearing pink. But that's not the only two right? No. It's every other girl. Pretty much. I'll be Okay, go They probably have something but oh so wait the backstory on this we went to San Francisco To do I think it was rugby sevens We were like doing a video because I used to do rugby's contents. I used it was rugby sevens. We were like doing a video, because I used to do rugby's content,

because I used to play rugby in college or whatever. But because we were so brand new at Barstool, and we were like, in all of our free time, we have to be making content every second that we're not doing the rugby stuff, otherwise they're gonna get, I think we were just so paranoid to not constantly be doing stuff.

So we went and we interviewed the full house house. And we did like. You were asking the full house house question? We brainstormed and came up with the dumbest. And so we have all these videos of the most awkward, dumb, why did you guys do that? And this was one of our ideas. But then there was no seals at Seal Pier the day we went. Oh, no kidding.

But right now there's only a little bit of seals. So Kate, do you have any ideas of how to get more seal? And you can't see it, but there's stairs behind this. There's like 800 people sitting across. There's like hundreds of people sitting just off frame. That our cameraman never paid to. All your friends. No one asked us to do this. There was no reason. You don't do the full song do you? Yeah, yeah we go on time

You're not gonna be able to hear it the microphone didn't pick it up, but it was a standing ovation Yeah, people were actually crying laughing. Oh yeah, there's a crowd of 500 There's all the 500 people There was, there was so many people Whoa Holy shit They're all mine. Oh my god. Why are their hands over this like a Chinese wave pool

baby I can pay you to kiss my rose oh no great you know what sucks this is going to exist long after you're dead yeah for sure for sure but I we all have that but again no reason for why we did it We have like surprise you play when you put a price you That's right, but it's the risk, but it's the risk you're immortal That's funny Didn't do numbees it didn't a lot of the comments were like why did that yeah, yes?

I've been there. Would you ask the full house house? Whatever happened to we just from a rose crazy is a Is that actually is that all the songs I thought it was uh Casey and I think I'm crazy It's an Arles Barclay no Fly like an eagle Stan is that say it's a man's man's man's man's world Wow What's the mother fucker? He really means it My funny found oh loves divine. That's a banger. Well, Fly Like an Eagle's a cover. Steve Miller band. Yeah Okay, maybe it's a Robbie Williams situation. Oh Santa Claus. I didn't know he did Santa Claus is coming to town. Yeah He wrote that. That was Seal. Yeah. No shit

Why did he choose the name Seal? Yeah, he had him and Dave Matthews had just like a weird contorted guy as their logo Let's use a weird weird guy weird shaped guy Is that him I think so very shiny I might have to start hitting the seal pose and photos Just casually covered in grease just ceiling. Oh, we should start ceiling dude Hold on one second I come out of the bathroom fucking naked and oiled Everybody tweet us your seals for us That's like have you seen the defoe posing no What's the hell him defoe has like this one specifically this bizarre photo of him so people will hit the defoe and in pics

I like the John Lennon goofy walk with his wife to The Toby McGuire you guys aware the John. Oh, yeah. Yeah John Lennon with the yoko ono. He's walking Yeah, he's walking real weird. I Think he's got a funny hat on too. It's like on purpose or the guy just couldn't walk. I don't know but there's That's so funny, what's he doing? Why is he walking like this like that? Come on wife is he smoking a cigarette? Yeah, it's cool. Those are cool pants cool Huh. Yeah. That's a sad shot of the.

Oh, that's us. That's Friday, what can you do? Yeah, thank God. And it's a blizzard. Big, big blizzard. It's hard to even get here. The full house house is just there. Does someone live in it?

Well, the worst part was, like people wait in line to get a picture on the front steps of it or whatever. So people, there's like this long line and people had hundreds of people had to wait while we did this dumb bit and it wasn't funny. It like just wasn't. What questions were you asking it?

I forget. I remember I wrote a whole set for the Full House House and it was not funny. There's always stuff that in theory are funny. Cause I think I went to a jeans museum with Donnie and Kyle and I got custom went to a jeans museum with Donnie and Kyle yeah and I got custom-made pair of jeans and they were like 20 they were like 32 like 84 it was like it was like nine nine pairs of jeans or whatever and I wanted to make a pair of jeans that was all cuff yeah and I wore them in to like

show off and nobody gave a fuck nobody cared yeah that's we like did a voiceover we had the house responding to oh Yeah, oh boy. I Don't know dude Me off he's heading to the studio and he dropped me off because I just landed the biggest interview I've ever ever landed before growing up in the 90s full five minute long video It's so filled to the brim with copyrighted music. It's so hard to look at my old stuff. It's hard to look at my new stuff.

Kate Barstool! You must be Kate from Barstool. I am. It is me. I'm Kate from Barstool. And it's the full house house. That's who I landed the interview with. I couldn't be more excited. It is so nice to finally meet you. Do you mind if to meet you too.

Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions? Why are you guys talking over each other? You could, this was. We're doing it live. Oh, you're doing it live? Why? We didn't know how technology. Oh my God.

We didn't know how technology works. And there's a line of like 20 people waiting their turn. Oh. You're damn right. There's so much I wanted to ask you. Is the laugh track live? I hope that doesn't? No. But you know how to do that. Boyerism is totally the rage here in San Francisco. Speaking of San Francisco, I've been reading in the news that this month people are really mad at you because everybody wants to come and

see you and all the neighbors say you're clogging up the block and there's gonna be car accidents and all that kind of stuff. What do you say to the haters? I see that they should look at that poop mat that the mayor put out. There's poop everywhere. There's shit everywhere in the words of Danny Tanner. Well, speaking of Danny Tanner, do you miss him? I know he used to clean the house really, really well, and I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm seeing a little dust on you.

Do you miss him? Do you miss him? You know who I miss? I miss Aunt Becky. Because let me tell you this, little house joke. The carpets match the chains. He's changed the voice five times. He couldn't quite get the character of the house. You can turn it off. Oh my god.

It's funny where that came from. Any old content is tough though. Especially the bad content. Yeah, no, that was... We did that, we did like a hang glider video where we also voiced over it. You gave a voice to a hang glider? We pretended it was Chaps up there, and he's like, Whoa! It was just...

That's funny, that's funny. Yeah, that was a different time. Do you have anything you're ashamed of, Mark? Oh, yeah. Mostly sports I just did? Oh, yeah? Yeah? Yeah, we all do mostly sports. I just did like oh, yeah The second I do it. I'm like yeah, that sucked mm-hmm burn that it's a bad feeling Yeah, I think people think we're fine with it bad feeling well the worst is like you think like man I was so hard on myself. It really wasn't that bad, but then you watch stuff like that. You're like. Oh, no

It was worse than I imagined. It was really bad. I'll be damned, how nice to be here. The only sliver of hope you can have is that it was a different time. You just tell yourself that. It was a different time. It was a different time. I swear to God. That's the excuse you give to racist grandparents.

What year did you do this? 2018. Because I remember 2018, interviewing houses was actually like really fucking fun. I think Fallon was doing it. It was so funny. actually like really fucking fun Really fucking Brian was crushing that. Yep. That was like all the rage if I remember right you're right. That is what yeah Can we people were you two but interviews house and see if anybody's done it? Has anybody done it successfully?

Might be that doctor show What's the doctor show house? Oh? Be like yeah, yeah, that makes sense the other interviewing house right now that Made a lot more sense Hugh Laurie. He's British Kate turn that house to amityville horror after that's right True story Can I bring cool city though you guys ever do San Fran? Yeah? Call it that. Yeah, my parents lived there for a little bit. Lombard Street is at the real top.

Yeah, the real top, the curvy one. You gotta do the Paul McCartney walk down it. Yeah, you do. Is the Dow Firehouse there? Oh yeah, the Dow Firehouse, that was also San Francisco. Yeah. Was that in San Francisco? I believe so. I'm trying to think of what else I did there. That's it, although all the, I, the doubtfire house that was also San Francisco. Yeah What else I did there That's it. Although all the I played the hits San Francisco. I did a wine country tour once so no Sonoma

It wasn't nap. It was Sonoma and I was so intimidated. I thought it was gonna be like Like I wasn't gonna belong there. But no wine people are also Huge pieces shit and that's in the best way. You can really let loose and party back. The Super Bowl is there next year. Oh yeah, in San Francisco, yeah. I'm gonna do a monk walking tour. Everywhere a monk's been, I'll be. Wait, explain this to me.

The show Monk. Oh, the show Monk. I thought you were actually talking about the Orange Prince. Oh no, I'm talking about the OCD Detective. Ooh. That was San Francisco. Oh yeah. I didn't know that. A monk tour? That was San Francisco. Oh, yeah, I don't know that

Those on USA. Yeah network is everything I love monk Doesn't age well special effects wise there's explosions in the show that look like Jerry edited it. Yeah I'm doing a lost rewatch right now lost that really suffered from that. Yeah, I is brutal I've uh, only watched the first season. Yeah, I liked it. I remember watching it live. That was the first show that I remember talking to people about what we think is gonna happen next and buying it. It might have been the first show

that people were gathering around Watercool. Yeah, it invented getting on the forums to see what people's theories are. Fan theories and shit. Yeah And I remember being disappointed in it and then rewatching them. I was actually pretty fucking good Yeah, I really like it was the most expensive pilot at the time. Yeah That's one of that was the first I watched it after the whole thing came out I watched the first episode and then right away I went to Google and I was like explain everything to you I like never made it past the first episode. I needed to know right then and there

I was watching I was still confused by the answer. I was watching it and then I was watching the movie This is 40 and they give a huge spoiler for the end of lost in it. I was like, oh really? 40 yeah, it was years later, but still what are the odds? Hmm god hit us with a spoiler in the opening credits. There was this Twitter guy Rob Wissman who? May have did or might have pitched an idea. It was called Completely Lost, where he would watch it in Spanish out of order and then podcast about what he could watch. Uh, great idea.

And that gave me the idea for Really Hard Knocks, where I watch hard knocks in Japanese. And I guess I stole his idea one for one. Yeah, I guess that's just kinda- I just changed the language, and then I stole his idea one for one. I just changed the language and then I would have to recap hard knocks. Maybe I'll do that this year. I'll do it this year. Dub it in Japanese? That's what you said last year, man. No, no. I'm going to do very hard knocks this year.

That's Trish Pates. That is like a... Yeah, she's like the omnipresent woman. I don't know exactly what her deal is, but I popped up on my thing a few weeks ago. She did a Lost themed maternity shoot that actually made me laugh out loud. There's a theory that every time a royal dies, she gets pregnant. Really? I think there's something like that. Who's this woman?

I sent a picture to T. Trisha Paytas has been on the internet for as long as the internet's been around. She was like Jenna Marbles level, but stayed on. And she's like become relevant again. But I guess she did like a Lost Theme maternity shoot that I thought was actually really funny. I just thought you guys should know. I really enjoyed it. I kind of want to look at people's old content now.

Yeah. I want to see everybody's first video for barstool Because I did I looked at everybody's first tweets. Yeah, there she is That's really funny it is really funny I Saw that and I was like maybe I'll follow her this seems like a good Did you do maternity shoots? No, I think those are weird Did you do maternity shoots? No, I think those are weird Sorry Titus you're about as a guy with a pregnant wife I'll say that the coming up with the ideas are very it's a funny thing to say out loud

Yeah, and I think what happens is The couples then actually execute the ideas and you shouldn't execute the ideas You should just say like wouldn't it be funny if we did this you say it out loud You say ha ha ha ha and then you move on. If it's just like a photo of them, I don't know. I just didn't fit, the ones where it's like the mom in the bathtub of milk with rose petals and like her belly steak, or like,

she's like totally nude, but like the ruching around or whatever, and like it's like ethereal and beautiful, and I just didn't feel that way. Ethereal and beautiful. I had enormous hemorrhoids, terrible heartburn, restless legs. I just didn't feel like those pictures look. Sure.

So I said I'm not going to fake it. Yeah. What's White Sox Dave's first Barstool video? Because before my time. You're a historian of the man. What's White Sox Dave's most recent video? Which is sadder than being the man. What's what's why sucks Dave's most which is sadder than being You're oh my god. I pity you

Dave has so many great moments that just you guys probably have never seen because they weren't clipped But they're they live in like long form on YouTube his first video though he did a He did a cribs video of course. I don't think we either Cribs or Food Review when you get into this game. Yeah, I don't know if we could play it because he had copyrighted music over it. But it was probably like March, and at one point he goes and he picks up,

there's a pumpkin in his living room, and he picks it up and it just completely falls. Nowhere near Halloween, who's just keeping a pumpkin around March. How many Cribs videos has Barstool done as a whole? Over or under 100 and a half? I think during COVID, we all had to do it. We all had to do it.

We like had to. Oh yeah, we did. Yep, I lived alone in a studio, so I had to do it with a selfie stick by myself. They mandated, they were like, everybody had to, oh! There's actually a better one I just thought of on Barstool Chicago YouTube.

We had to do this over COVID just to see where we were living. Yep. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they were all pretty sad. They were all so sad. This is how we live. This one was great. I'll show you our crib.

Come on in. First things first, the front door. Like most houses. Let's get inside. I love this one. I thought it would be artistic to do the ice cream check cone. To show the passage of time. Please, TJ.

Now we're letting this run. I love this video. Please, TJ. This is good. Thanks, man. This is good. Thanks, man. But like, COVID was so easy to make content because people were so starving.

They convinced themselves Tiger King was good. And so like, people were just like, this is good. This is what I needed. I needed this man. Life is so hard right now. We're at the mailboxes, but we're going to take you to what everybody wants to see. The place. come on up teach buddy no keep it going like to do when they come in our crib is grab themself a snack from our snack cabinet we got raisins did you guys even live together no this isn't even their home. Well come on, what are you waiting for? Come on, almost there. The next thing that catches people's eye is our bunk bed.

I have the top bunk and so does Kyle. Come on! Tej buddy, I'm begging you. Sorry to watch that, that was good fun. The whole video is just going up the steps. The whole time? We just going up the steps. The whole time? We never get to the apartment.

We never get to the apartment. Hey, didn't you have a big fat dildo in yours? I had it in the background. Yeah. To see if anybody noticed it, and people did. Oh yeah. Yeah, people did. There's a great video.

Did you buy that for the video? Sorry. No, actually a Fox News host mailed that to me after a party one night. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Neither here nor there. No, it's here. It's here. Yeah, went to a party one night. Actually, it started out at bars. Remember Barstool Offices used to have like mix and minglers back in the back park?

I wasn't. Had a few drinks, was having fun chatting with this person. They went to the bathroom, they handed me the phone, it was Meghan McCain on FaceTime in her pajamas. I was like, whoa, hi. Went back, party continues, let's go back to my place. Went back to their place.

Not in a I'm gonna bang it or anything kind of way, but had a lovely time, had a good time. And then I was like, it's getting late, I better go. And so I left, and then they mailed it's getting late. I better go and so I left and Then they mailed me a dildo. Oh Okay, that all adds up. I didn't know if that was like was there a letter with you like you yada Yada, did some of this I swear to God I don't By the time I left I was like am I picking up a vibe or is this person just fun and silly?

I don't know, but I left and then a few days later Yeah, I got a dildo mail to me, and I didn't know if that was like a like a wink wink like not well Yeah, that's a subtle. That's subtle. I didn't know There was no no nothing no no nothing like stick this in your pussy for pussy love Greg Give this to your pussy That was mailed to you so from a Fox News host Yeah, so that is insane Kate Yeah, I thought of a much better video

It was I think I was like an intern at this time one of the first videos on Barstool Chicago YouTube TJ White Sox day for some reason he looks down on people who wear like sweats to the office like yes He's covered in grime and muck, but for some reason, at least back in the day before joggers were a thing, he would always just wear jeans, and he would get on us about like, oh, you kinda look sloppy today. And then, one day, he rolls up to our farmer's insurance office, wearing shorts that were so shredded and torn,

you have to see it. Oh, wait, I think I remember this. They were like destroyed. Destroyed, he called him his painter shorts Like if you turn the wrong way like you could see his ass. They were that bad. Yes It might take a minute to find from like 2018 I sit next to me has been having me take them medical photos at the top of his head to send to his doctor I find that very wholesome. Did I tell you I talk about what I wanted to do to Dave on the Yak?

I don't believe so. Did I talk about it? I don't think so. I called you for it to help me with it. Oh, we haven't talked about it. The plan was, I thought it was too mean so I abandoned. I found out the name of the doctor doing the hair transplant and I squatted on the ex account and I started tweeting like I was a doctor and then the plan was for when Dave,

when he got back, I was gonna DM him just like hey, I don't wanna cause any concern but we use the tools five times in surgery and then we dispose of them, we clean them between with the infrared and ultraviolet. The man before he was from Botswana and he lied about being HIV positive. He was the third, you were the fourth.

The fifth did test positive, but we're guessing it's only about a 12% chance that you will test positive. And I just wanted to get his reaction, but I thought it was too fucked up. So I didn't do it. But I was tweeting like a doctor. Just.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Can you say the account? It's gone, it's gone, It's gone. I was too ashamed Get some posts up the day before so it looks legitimate But I was trying to build it up for like a couple months I got I called Donnie got the doctor's name just to see if you believe it for a split second And I wasn't even going to do it for content

I sent you the video TJ. I haven't been able to watch yet the It's so everything else The dark like room confessionals are so funny in that yeah I saw the one clip that Donnie had posted of just bringing up Nikki smoke's girlfriend or whatever and yeah Just the way it was shot. I was like this is this looks fucking awesome. Yeah, the confessionals. It's been very good Fashion or I'm not the I don't give a shit what people wear but for this guy trying to be okay North Central football D3 national champions 2019. I've had them since college They're the most comfortable things I own and I wear them all the time and I have no shame

I'm not embarrassed pretty obvious that you wear them all the time. Thanks for clearing. Yeah I mean like almost like the wind blows you can them all the time. Thanks for clearing that out. Yeah, I wear them all the time. But I mean, like, you can, like, the wind blows, you can see your ass in your dick. I don't care. For comfortable. Does he turn? He can't. I just saw your ass.

You didn't see my ass because I got fucking compression shorts on. I saw your underwear. I got compression shorts under. I don't care. How many times have you painted in those? Well, I don't know if it's paint. I don't think I've painted in it.

He's going to sit down and his dick's going to pop out of a hole. You can't be wearing it. There's no holes in the crotch, it's just on the ear front. Your little ass? It's not out! Somebody get your ass. I've got compression shorts under them. Prove it.

What's the theory behind- like does this like- I'm comfortable. There is no theory. That's all it takes. I'm not trying to- To what? Like, dress to impress here. No, I know. No shit. I wear these

every day. I just didn't throw- I didn't switch them out. I wear these every day Switch about that's just such a Be change clothes No, I don't want you mark I could have gotten you shorts I could have thrown these out I like these shorts all he does is argue fascinating creature Fascinating yeah, but you're wearing sweatpants. Yeah, but like there is a decorum creature. I'm loud and true. He really is. Fascinating. Yeah, but you're wearing sweatpants. Yeah, but there is a decorum theme.

But I'm not wearing sweatpants from 2007. Can I speak real quick? Nope. Dave was giving us shit last week about wearing sweatpants. Said he doesn't wear sweatpants in public. He shows up and he's got them all. He did. You're right.

I said that. You're right. I know I said that. You know right. I know, I said that. You know how often do I come in and start doing stuff? You threw like a ricochet shot at us. No, no, no, I didn't. It wasn't a ricochet shot. It was me saying I don't do it.

It was like, OK, it wasn't a ricochet shot, but it was indirectly, it was like, I don't like wearing stuff that I don't like wearing. It wasn't a ricochet shot. It was indirect. Yeah. I come in jeans almost every day, don't I? This is like, you would be like, I don't drink,

but I do heroin. Like, that's like, that's like heroin. Like, you yell at us for wearing like, sweatpants that like, you can walk outside in, and then you come in with those. No shame. I've worn these in the last week too, you guys haven't seen anything.

I feel like- I didn't notice, because I only see your right side, and they're a little less beat up, but your left side is like you look like the Brooklyn brawler Do you think it got worse than the last day or two so it's clinging on by a thread. This is incredible Mr.. James Rowe shows up like the fucking Brooklyn brawl Serious radio days Raising canes we were enjoying raising canes all last week during the show and of course had to have some box show. Uh uh raising canes. We were enjoying raising canes all

last week during the show and of course had to have some box combos for the big game on Sunday. The tail gates of 25 50 75 and even 100 chicken fingers. That's right. 100 chicken fingers are the perfect option to

feed your family and friends, especially when you add jugs. Of freshly squeezed lemonade and freshly brewed iced tea. It's a delicious choice that everyone can agree on. Go to raising canes dot com to place an order and follow along on raising canes

Social channels to keep up with all the latest including which one of your favorite celebs is hopping through the drive-thru next it could be anybody Could be Danny Conrad maybe could be sealed. Oh my god could be seal Could be My god in the drive-thru That's a really good impression of the full house Um Before the show you were telling me that Cody. I don't want to do this to him I but that's it'll be too embarrassed The reason you don't want to do this to him is why I want to do it to him because it'll be so yes

Harris yes Cody is you know him for mostly sports. he does jokes, he roasts people on Mostly Sports, on Moot Can't Sleep. Right. He's a good boy. I was unaware of Cody, not unaware of Cody, but like I didn't know. A lot of bizarre. Until I saw his roast on Moot Can't Sleep,

and I'm like, I'm a huge Cody fan now. Yeah, that's right. He is a very funny guy. He's been walking around with a little pep in his step, He's pitching jokes. Yep. I don't want to do it Yeah, he is. He's confident until he's not and then when he's not he wants to crawl into a hole He's like confident. He's confident, but also so so self-conscious So who like every morning he'll walk up to me with like no You know of NFL game like they have the first few drives scripted

That's his life, and then it goes off the rails That is yeah, but he'll like try to talk shit to me in the morning like but he'll be nervous So he'll walk in the office will be like what's up, bitch? And then it like scamper away. We did a scamper. Yeah, we did a royal rumble stream for Mostly Sports. We watched the rumble live. And Cody was the last one to show up. He shows up like right after it starts. And he's in a sting makeup and he walks into the studio

and he just points the bat and he's got that down. And to your point, he had that scripted. He had the 10 seconds of opening the door and just being like, ugh. And then you could see on his face, he's like fuck. I gotta see her for five more No, you were okay. We don't have to do that. I don't think I don't think he'll be happy with that Okay, all right But he pitched he pitched a joke to Kyle

Not knowing who Sam talent was Sam talent a very comic, and Sam was sitting right there with Cody doing standup for us. Yeah. He's the premier bacon, egg, and cheese reviewer of Buffalo. All right, we don't have to humiliate him, but at the same time. If he wants to come in here, he can,

but he's probably hiding. Probably hiding. Connor, you're watching, Connor watches the show live, right? Yes. Yeah, and he sits right by Cody. Connor, say something watching, Connor watches the show live, right? Yes. Yeah, and he sits right by Cody. Connor, say something to Cody. And tell him to come in.

Come in here. He'll list off jokes to me, and then on like the third one, I'll start recording him, and then he'll just go blank. Yep. And then he'll act like he's never done it. He'll come and tell me a joke.

He's like, what do you think of this one? But I've heard him do it to like eight people already. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I've been loving his tweets. Yeah. Got some bangers oners. Is he like practicing for a stand-up set or is he just pitching jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think he is. He finally recorded himself doing stand-up and then his fiance said that was horrible to him. No!

Take a seat. Sit in Big Cat cat seat sit we're talking about you Reviewing bacon egg and cheeses with Frank the tank. Yeah, what was that barstool? Inspired company used to work for it was this thing I did on the side was called train wreck sports train wreck sports Mm-hmm. He was the bacon egg and cheese guy. Yeah, you know this Titus. I did know this yeah, and I You you you're trying to hide that part of your past Or are you proud of it? I think it was for good reviews Were they were they videos? I've only been told about this. I haven't actually seen the content you made videos reviewing

Yeah Episode 54 And you just happened to land Frank the Tank. You just happened to be coming through. All right, so yesterday. You don't have to do this, man. What happened yesterday? Cause.

Nothing happened. Two minutes before we came on air, Nick was just like, I got a Cody story for you for Anus, from Anus. And then you started telling it. And then I was like, maybe we should save this for the Yak. But I said no.

But then Nick say no. So I wanna do this, but I also don't know how mean this will be if we do it's not mean Maybe uncomfortable No, I mean what happened we're sitting down to film anus like we always do every Wednesday. I do the free cam for them we usually like talk shit riff whatever before the show and so Kyle walks in and I I just said a joke to him it's Kyle and Sam sitting right next to one another and Cody has not sat down yet you were kind of leaning in the doorframe coolly I was getting the camera ready uh-huh and he said I believe you said Kyle how

about you try this one on for size. And then you switched to your joke voice. Yeah. And you go, man. Yeah. I mean Cody, we watched Kate interview a house already, whatever you have to say. It can't be worse than anything I brought today. Yeah, so it was an Eagles joke. Me and Moog were in there and I go, man.

Dudes be getting horny and start saying offensive lines about their dicks. Y'all gotta be more humble and stay in your lane, Johnson. I was like. And so then everybody looks at each other, and what did Moog say to you? He's like, not now. He said, not now. Yeah.

Yeah. Cody, not in front of Sam Talent, please. Yeah. No, Sam Talent looked at me, he was like, he's mine now, he's my over. You going on tour with him? No. Yeah. No, Sam Talent looked at me and was like, I'm, he's mine now. He's my over here. You going on tour with him? No.

Are you opening for Sam on Friday? You are practicing stand up. Yeah, it was one of my New Year's resolutions. And you're going to do it. Yeah, you forced me to. Damn right. So. Damn right.

We have a dinner meeting Monday. Hell yeah. What are you working towards? Five minutes? Mm-hmm. Ten minutes? Two would be fine. Five. Okay. Two is just like one joke isn't it man? That's one long man yeah

I can do a 30 second. That'll be a good set No, he's gonna do it. We got to get his confidence up, but somehow down. Yeah, it's a weird walking weird He's he's my he's my biggest challenge yet. What does that mean? Pretty pretty straightforward. Yeah, you're impossible to figure out I He's my biggest challenge yet. What does that mean? Pretty straightforward. You're impossible to figure out. I'll sum it up as this. I think I'm most confident around people that I'm comfortable with.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, that's... Definitely, so we gotta just get you a baseline. We just gotta get him to know everybody in the whole world. He's very funny and very smart. How do we make you more comfortable then? By telling your most regrettable you're gonna need like eight of us to come to every single show you're doing that's what he asked Yeah, that's what he asked to do and I said he shouldn't because what if you bomb but then at least I'll be around people I like that'll be a nightmare. I don't think so

I've done bad at the laugh Factory shows and had to come in here to work the next day And we was like, ooh, you were drunk last night, huh no yeah, no Yeah, you only had 20 laughs. I said your usual 50 now. What uh what kind of material? so I Don't really know I'm kind of I kind of just do like one one-liners Observational comedy yeah relatable comedy. I got some stuff in the works Are you gonna be a clean comic? No. Oh, you'll go there. No. I mean like you're gonna push the envelope lean how Like a what Sam Kenison kind of guy he screamed I'm thinking of the wrong guy Sam Ken is Andrew Dice clay yeah

He screamed I'm thinking of the wrong guy Sam Kenes Andrew Dice clay yeah Was he funny screamer to that was Sam Kenison funny yeah, okay, cuz I've never yeah It's been a while since I I thought it's funny in high school But like I haven't watched Sam Kenison stand up in a very long time. Yeah, he's funny all right his death is sad Like hit by drunk driver writers, I think so, but I think his last words were like, not like this. No. Sad. Fuck.

Yeah, I think he was hit by a drunk driver. Cody, you're gonna get five minutes. Yeah, Cody, you're gonna get five minutes. We're gonna get you there. Right. All right, you got your first bomb out of the way in front of Sam. Speak for yourself.

See, that's what I'm saying. And then he's gonna text me, he's gonna be like, so sorry, he's you. Maybe that's what I'm saying. And then he's going to text me and he's going to be like, so sorry. He's you! Maybe that's why I'm taking a shine to you. You don't want to go down this road. You've got to find your confidence. Man! He gritted away! He does do that shit. Man!

He's going to text probably all of us separately and be like, was that okay? My favorite Cody is like when he was still his most shy. When you brought him aboard No, I found him in a ditch. I was driving. I was in Columbus, Ohio. I think I was driving So I think the dinner one night and I saw him just in a ditch covered in mud side of the highway Yeah, and I picked him up and towed him off and brought him home and yeah, he said man The first week he moved to Chicago, he drunk text you.

Yeah, he sent me a picture of a bus stop in Wrigleyville and he just said Wrigleyville fucks. It was two words, Wrigleyville fucks. He swears to this day that it was a joke. It was not. It was not a joke. It was definitely like a kid in the big city for the first time, like trying to,

he knew I was, he knows I'm a Cubs fan. He knows very little about me and he's like working quote for me. I'm not his boss. He's working on my show. And I think he was just trying to like have some common ground and he's in Wrigleyville. Yeah.

So he just takes a picture of a bus stop that says Wrigleyville on it. And that was his way of saying like yeah, man. I'm out in Chicago and this place is awesome Wake up to a text. It just says Wrigleyville fuck the picture of a bus in the dark back. Who is this? He's the man. I was like dude. You could have just like take a picture of a bucket of beers. You know Wrigley field was one block away Could have done that there were a lot of things, you know, Wrigley Field was one block away. Yeah, he could have done that. Could have done that. There were a lot of things he could have done, man.

And he said, uh... I don't want to embarrass him further, but my first introduction to him was him asking, and you guys talked about this on the show, him asking Big Cat if he wanted to go to the Bubs game. Oh my God. No, it was a preseason Bairs game. Oh, preseason Bairs game.

He DM'd him. He DM'd him. Oh. I don't think Dan knew who he was. No He was oh Hi little guy little baby out there for the Baby in a big backwards hat so cute Look at him you want to run the gauntlet? You want to show this baby? Don't show the baby. Don't show baby. Don't show baby, but there is a baby. Cute little baby.

Oh my god. Oh no, that's just Ebo. Oh my god, it is Ebo. Wait a second. Oh yay. Oh, they're clapping. That's no baby. So cute.

It's about to be your life, Titus. Yeah. Yeah. It rules. It does? It rules. I love it Does it ever not yeah, but the good stuff always the bad Yeah, we're out in the snow last night having a time. It's great. Yeah. Yeah, what's the what's the thing? I need to prepare for that's not Bad cuz anytime I ask parents like what do I need to prepare for it's always just like oh

And then you can't sleep you can't it's always just be ready to change diapers every two hours your life is over if you I hope you don't travel a lot dude because you're not gonna be able to go anywhere Oh, it's actually pretty easy to travel with them for a while when they're little potato mode, but what's something? I'm not anticipating that like they get so fucking pumped about the most everyday shit. Like every time I make the bed and I fluff the sheets just once they come running like seagulls to a sea. They're like, and then making the bed becomes like a fucking party and you got the musical.

They just make everything. Very easy to entertain. They're so easy to like, and they get so fucking psyched. Yeah. About just like the most basic shit. It's so easy to like hype them up. Like if it starts snowing and you're like, oh my god, you guys, next thing you know,

they're like ripping up the window. They're like super hyped. I love like, I'm like their hype woman who like hyped about everything. And like I fucking love, it just gets better and better and better. Danny, when are you gonna do it, dude? I have two already.

Oh, okay. Two different women. Yeah, I figured. already. Oh, okay. Yeah two different women Yeah, figure those three two with three those weren't Anthony Edwards text those were yours Get the abortion Send a video Yeah, he's somewhere around here. That's crazy. Yes. You saw the update that you did this happen again. No, he did it again Yeah, I said get get the abortion lol lol Yeah, and then uh did she say no look at these text messages. I won't be in a child life

I don't want you are sick three crying He said no aunt Yeah, get the abortion lol oh God responding okay lol to I'm pregnant. Mm-hmm. Oh God, responding okay, LOL, to I'm pregnant? Mm-hmm. Oh my God. Not the way. Yeah. OMG, four laughing emojis by. Oh my God.

They said this is Lil Baby's baby mama as well? As Connor Griffin put it on Mostly Sports today, it's no laughing matter, but it is hilarious Just the way You are sick yeah, she's no laughing matter crazy, dude. Yeah Lol also like these NBA players like he's so rich. Why does he care like 38? Good for her 23 man. He's on a oh he's only 23. He's on rich, why does he care? He's 38. Good for her. He's only 23, man. He's on a...

Oh, he's only 23? Yeah, he's on a... Oh my God. He's on a trajectory, we'll say, so far in his NBA career. I'll be damned. Kate, the send a video lull is a reference to another leaked text message conversation where he was demanding a woman take a plan B on camera.

Send a video. Send a video. She was sending him long texts, he would just send, send a video, send a video send a long text you just send send a video send a video oh my god yeah okay all right not quite a gentleman in a scholar I'd say no little he can hoop rough well then then he's okay hell of a

ballplayer Michael Jordan's son so that's Michael Jordan son yep so some are saying that's what a lot are saying oh he's not actually Michael allegedly well if you see the the picture they look alike or it's half of each other's face they do fit together nicely but like he could be Michael Jordan son I think it's pretty much just that like that's the evidence yeah they look yeah and they're both great at basketball yeah they do sort of move well he's black and he's good at

basketball it must be Michael Jordan's son Yeah, they do move similarly on a basketball court and none of Michael Jordan's actual sons are good at basketball It's a great point Michael Jordan was in a prolific Banger was he he wasn't like a cheater type guy that we know He was in the NBA. Yeah Imagine he actually that one's not even as good now that one's That one that one they look a lot alike there. That's the one yeah There's also some story. That's unfounded That's that like Michael Jordan was believed to have impregnated a woman around the same time that oh really there's more

Layers to it that I think are I don't even need more layers. I need that picture That's a very nice. That's it very different eyebrows. Yeah That one starts here this one can't be And his Michael Jordans actual son got arrested recently he did demanded the cops play Mariah Carey And he dropped the line Michael Jordan's son wasn't his name Michael Jordan, Jr No Marcus Marcus. You're the one who was dating Larsa Pippen Yeah, if my parents were super famous or something I absolutely would drop the line But like you just Mariah Carey up at this bitch

Yeah That's pretty fucking funny. Those glasses are high up. Yeah they are. When they're not playing Mariah Carey up in this bitch. My face when they're not playing Mariah Carey. That's a good meme. Somebody impact font that now. That's a good meme. Kate, would you warn Mark of any annoying kid shows to not play like my sister is always playing

Like wheels on the bus and the song just goes off all day because the kids love it and don't get sick of it Are you like a miss Rachel or bluey household? We're miss Rachel and bluey Oh, we are not and I'm not hating because he has come through clutch a couple times Blippi was like crack to my first son And it was so intense that we had to tell him Blippi went on vacation, and he's never come back from vacation We just cannot but then the beef had a tweet About Blippi showing up on showing up on miss Rachel they crossed Because we had told him that Blippi was like gone, and then he went on a miss Rachel episode and our son realized Blippi is not gone

Maybe we were lying No warning Blippi literally it plays like actual casino sounds like it the music has you know What casinos play those noises to like you in and whatever oh? Yeah, it like has the same bright flashing lights and like legit casino sounds. It's brain rock. It's built to get them hooked.

He's talking loud and fast and there's like action every second of everything. And like, yeah, the first couple episodes after my first kid watched that, we were like, oh no. We like tried to turn it off and he's like. It was like, yeah. Really? Oh shit. Do Blippi and Bluey have a lot of songs are they sing along show?

Like no, I don't know what they are. What's blue is an example of Blippi I heard a lot of we like adults don't hate blue do I watch pj my nephews They like if you could pull up Blippi at the car wash There's one of the first episodes that I like pulled up Josh because sometimes you do just need like a second It was like so I have a velcro baby who like clings to my legs It's hard to do anything and so it's like fuck up up up beyond this one He literally just covers his car and ketchup and mustard and like kids like that's one with the truck. Yeah, yeah, banger ma He literally just covers his car in condiments and then washes it off, and it's got like how many million views?

5.6 and that's probably He's the man I'm not shitting on him lovely guy he was shitting on his friend though. He was well. No this is You shouldn't ask Blippi sold Blippi to another Blippi so the shitter Blippi is no longer Blippi to clarify for that's not Blippi anymore But fast-forward it when he really sorry I'm being bossy. Oh, maybe we already missed it. It's early on anyway Sorry subscribers does yeah, that's my answer 15 13, but is this Blippi toys does he have multiple channels? He has multiple channels He's got like over a hundred million subscribers across all platforms all of his videos have same with miss Rachel same with

Like she's the goat right? She's the biggest miss Rachel's like No, but he might be bigger, but she's definitely on the up-and-up. She just got Netflix so Goddamn Blippi, this is what Jerry's trying to do right? Yeah, this is the new Jerry kids content is unbelievable I mean yeah everything yeah like The most subscribed channels on YouTube It's like mr. Beast and then like music brand channels like Vivo T series And then it's like foreign language kids channels and children nuts There's a Ukrainian kids show called the kids Diana show that I think it might be one of the biggest out there and like it's

The fucking worst and it's like Cracked to these kids they cannot get enough of his crazy I mean toys Disney like everything that's successful is marketed towards kids yeah, so are you not selling books? I think are you not just popping on Nick Jr. Anymore? I mean I sound like such like I only let we watched two episodes of Paw Patrol in the morning That's the only screen time I think that's very good. We don't do iPads, we don't do anything yet. Cause after the blippy I was like, oh shit, this is, I also did Hey Bear Sensory is clutch when they're a baby

and you need a cup of coffee. It's literally just dancing fruit that dances on the screen to DJ music. Can you pull up Hey Bear Sensory? This is very interesting. It's like New Age Veggie Tales. Look at the numbers. I pitched a Barstool if we did Hey Bear Sensory but this is very interesting Age veggie tales look at the numbers I was I pitched a bar stool if we did hey bear sensory but with like sports balls and and yeah

How they come up with this who's who's behind creative minds behind I've talked about it with Kyle like Veggie tales being successful is weird. It's like how are we gonna get kids to like the Bible? Yeah They hate vegetables. Yes Yeah, I know what I'm gonna select the Bible and because babies like high contrast like black and white shit They if you need a fucking second you just put this on and your baby is like Staring at the end so and after a while the DJ songs start to get in your head and you're like Oh, this is like hypnotize point it hypnotizes. It's baby hypnotized and the views are insane and it's so simple It's so simple. Why are we doing this dumb shit? Why are we?

We're trying too hard. We're trying way too hard. No, yeah, I mean we have an audience that can DM me every day calling me gay Yeah, babies don't have to it. That's true You have no idea if you're doing good or bad. It comes in clutch though. Yeah, Miss Rachel and Hey Bear are the big ones in our house. Hey Bear. Blue we were getting into a little bit now, which I love personally, and then Paw Patrol. So like the children's mornings are dead,

like programming wise, Nickelodeon. Saturday morning cartoons. Yeah. I guess that's not really. It's all YouTube? Yeah. Damn. Mm-hmm. Guess so. Damn, that's a shame. But then then YouTube you can't just like let that even the kids on like kids YouTube the algorithm

You turn away for one second, then you're like what the fuck are they watching right now? Oh, it gets like Blippi with a gun It's like whoa Yeah, yeah, there's my dildo Yeah, it's my dildo, get out of here. What the hell? Yeah, it's odd. But Paw Patrol. When your kids get of the age where they can navigate the computer themselves, are you gonna like block out your name?

Ma, who's Katie Moneygrab? I tell myself, age appropriate and time, they're just gonna have to learn that their mom's a human being. Yeah. That had a sense of humor. Yeah, right. Or tried to. That's the best way to put it. They're just gonna have to learn that their mom's a human being yeah And that had a sense of humor yeah, right? That's the way that's just gonna have to be cool with it. So I mean yeah, they'll be cool Am I sad I shouldn't have talked about getting fisted so much probably

It's gonna put a damp rod. I've never been It's already it's out there now Talk to your kids from the future It's already it's out there now Talk to your kids from the future. Yeah, yeah guys. I've never been fisted I love you so much as of what as of what's today's date 13th Valentine's Day tomorrow Wait a minute 13th 2025 trim that coke mail be Hasn't been a thing oh man

That's sad really it's just a world I have no idea about. It is, I'm so glad Jerry, I hope he really does do the kids show. And the bar is so low. It's, you watch it and you're like, it's like when you watch Bad Stand Up Com and you're like, oh, I could get up there and do that. It's like, but I really think if he does it,

I don't even think he has to do it that well. I think Jerry could actually do like numbies I'm gonna bring some kids inspired content to the show tomorrow Please do but like stand-up comedy if you don't succeed you have to just feel like the biggest piece of shit Everyone just like this is stupid. You gotta feel terrified. You put it perfect. It could be the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Well, I hope for the kids show that the other half,

like the behind the scenes, lives on like Viva TV where you can see that side of it, where it's like just horrendously embarrassing. The Jerry after dark chat is gonna... Oh. Might have to turn that off. Yeah, you can't have a live, I don't know why a kids show needs a live oh. Oh. Might have to turn that off. It's gonna transition to the kitchen. Yeah, you can't have a live,

I don't know why a kids show needs a live chat. No. Even the kids are typing, very, very stinky. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's it. Ghost energy is fully transparent.

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at your local retailer. Zero sugars in these things, no artificial flavors, 200 milligrams of natural caffeine, a fully transparent label, find Ghost Energy at your local grocery or convenience store. For a full lineup and flavors, visit drinkghost.com. That's the gauntlet. That's the gauntlet. We got to do a gauntlet Yeah, oh shit all right um

Who hasn't done in the office done it and has Rudy done it show us the cave There's gonna be something he's not done it. Oh Has quakes oh? Megan's done it right Done it quick start quick has done quakes have Megan's done it right Quicks has done quicks have you done it quicks you haven't done it you want to do it Okay, Blotman's done it well pointing at someone beef beef We might have to get a beef on to the gauntlet beef

No pressure All right cut upstairs all right all right cut upstairs All right Should we have new fit Nikki smokes through the gauntlet? Oh, we could see yeah, see if he's any better now than he was mincy. Who's good-ass posture is that? Dante oh he's tweeted about 400,000 posters in the last 18 hours His thread of sports posters? No.

He's been tweeting like cool sports posters. Oh, I saw the Oakland A's Mark McGuire, Konseiko one, was that him? He's tweeting one every like 10 seconds. It's like a 400 tweet thread. Where is everybody? When he puts his mind to something. Has Marash done it?

Yeah, as a pirate I believe. Nicky Smokes. Tante. Is that Jacob? I don't think Marash done it? Yeah, as a pirate I believe. Nicky Smokes. Dante. Jacob? I don't think Rudy's done it. Rudy's athletic, he'd probably be good. I think he's washed. Is Rudy in the Inna studio?

I think he's on the other side of the computer screen. There's Fitz Smokes. He's probably looking at photos of himself. He did it in November. Oh shit, okay. I think Smokes, I think smokes I think you want to get smokes to run a fit of fit smokes But when you say no to Dante I would do don't don't take I don't think he's done it right Could be one of us Any of the girls sitting on the front

They're too busy matching colors They actually probably have something planned. I wonder if Galentine's Day. Do not want, yeah. Cute little lunch or something. Definitely. I mean that, hey, it's a sisterhood. Yeah. Oh also I was watching your stream, Barsh Left the Dark. Does Ryan have to be our new goalie now? He was pretty good. Oh, Ryan is a very good goalie. No shit very good I Would hate to do this to Connor no I wouldn't know you would Ryan is socks Ryan should be our new goalie He is sucks a goal, and I think he's a big soccer guy. No kidding. He was like shaking one It's a little on oh should we be some arson fan. That's really you should we just have Cody do it. Yes. Yeah

I'll go yes, I'll go get Yes, yeah, yes That's perfect and while mark is pissing. Nope. We're in the gauntlet segment right now. I'm going to talk about something unsponsored Time to get real personal deep. I have nothing I have absolutely Hopefully we don't get a few snowflakes Brandon will be back tomorrow TJ TJ, is Brandon back tomorrow? It's supposed to snow again tomorrow, no? Yeah.

I think there's more snow in the forecast. I'm out tomorrow. Okay. Oh boy. That sucks that Brandon, I mean, he had to live an hour and a half away. Yeah, he was forced to. I will say putting snow clothing on my kids

is my personal Vietnam. Oh yeah? Getting them ready to go outside is, I don't know how parents who live in Alaska deal with that 24-7, I don't know when does when do diapers stop? Do you have any of them out of diapers? Yeah Oldest one is which is nice. It's so f-ing expensive. I think potty training starts around two two years old Okay, and then because my upstairs neighbors have a baby and every time I open up my garbage or garbage outside Filled to the brim filled to the brim.

Filled to the brim. They do be pooping and peeing quite a lot. How many diapers a day would you say? Once they're a little bit older, one in the morning, two, three, four, five, probably going through like six or seven. Is that a lot? And then at night it gets so full. Yeah.

It's incredible. Like double down? Double down. I have night diapers that can really... And then every now and then at night, they climb into your down double they have night divers that can really And then every now and then at night they climb into your bed And they move a certain way and it all comes out onto your stuff. It's awesome. The joys of mother Oh, you were saying it's so so sick. Yeah, no rules. I'm trying to hype them up. It is awesome. Oh there. He is oh He's why's he put on gloves? No no nobody Cody

You're not being goalie you're running the gauntlet Ryan should be our goalie he's really good yeah I thought Connor was more just of an interim goalie. I don't know he was a permanent one didn't mean to steal his know He's stonewalled us Drink your ghost take a sip before you start you'll need it no no He's doing pink looks like the girls invited him as well You know what, Kate? Fuck him. Fuck him. Let's uh. Should I become extremely toxic

towards the other women here? Yes. Why don't you why don't you join the boys on Jur's Day next Thursday? You know what? I might. Yeah. I have two fun jerseys. There we go. The clams, the Detroit Clams. Huh? You're doing the gauntlet. First day. He's so nervous. He's just pacing. He's pacing.

He doesn't know where to go. He is the most. One of you might have to champion through this, because Brandon and Che are both out. Yep. Do you know the gauntlet? Cody. It looks like he doesn't know the gauntlet.

No. You don't know the gauntlet? He keeps walking over to the soccer goal to start Watch him absolutely crush this and have It's yet an athlete. I don't know. He's not good at basketball. I know that but he can he moves okay? But he's not particularly skilled so I'm curious if he's got skills in other areas. I think he's trying to hustle us right now, saying he doesn't know the order.

Yeah. Does he ever hoop on Fridays here? He does. He does, okay, so he's in the mix. And he's dreadful. He lets it, he shoots everything. Yeah. We're just hyping you up, we're hyping you up.

We're just hyping you up. We're hyping you up. All right, Cody with a K. Are you ready, TJ? I am. You ready, Cody? Three, two, one, go. Oh. The wall starting early on the bags board.

Oh no. Cody 0 for 4 in cornhole, about to be 0 for 5. Oh no, plopped. Nope. Uh oh. There we go. Friendly reminder, goalie Ryan is fucking ripped. Yes. Oh yeah. Like eight-packs.

Oh my gosh. Not a great debut for Ryan is fucking ripped. Yes, please. Oh yeah. Like eight-packs. Oh! Oh my god! Not a great debut for Ryan. Jeez. Ooh! Oh! Ooh, little high. Oh my god. Second try, even higher. But he came close that time. Boy, we're in doubt. There we go. Oh yeah, he's got a good time.

Cody with a K for three. I think he's got some arc. Oh, swish. All All right great time so far Over to from the second three Boom swish great time great time so far Cody Great time great time so far Cody Oklahoma oh Wait end with end with

Idaho That's a Cody to Mexico NBA. NBA teams with green. Celtics. Bucks. Alright, L teams with four Stanley Cups. Red Wings. Ah, fuck. Bruins. Capitals. capitals mmm mmm help former Yugoslavia think people that talk like this da yeah, niet fucking think of Putin type people

yeah, Bruins, Capitals, Red Wings who's in the hangover? Rangers who's in the hangover um? Star of the Rogan President who got stuck in a bathtub a taffy fat ass there you go um Three movie actors hangover can you name one refrigerator Paul Rudd what no bro? What are you doing? So there, Bruins. Musical group on a corner being like, buh-buh-duh-buh-duh-duh. Jazz?

No. Okay. Have you not seen The Hangover? Oh, you're right. You're right. Sweet. Heat. This is tough

one more refrigerator brand of it nights help somebody help you bud dude it's right there um penguins yeah there you go do this is tough on that was a good time going to sparkle thanks couldn't done it without ghosts that's right Yeah, there you go. Do this is tough on that was a good time going to the sport cool Thanks, I couldn't have done it without ghosts. That's right. I feel that's a company man. You've never seen hangover I don't think so. I don't know. There's three of them. What you don't know You just say no. I don't know puck st. Louis Eagles

Was that what the um? Yeah, I did before blackhawks were right there the same those Eagles Wow They're still around they were founded as this It's cool logo Ottawa senators they're founded as the senators. Are they anything anymore? I think they the senators became them, but the senators of today did not come from them. Okay, so it's like the Browns So are they are they still playing hockey at like a lower division? Or do they fold the team? No. They didn't move anywhere? That's interesting. They have four cups? The Oakland Seals keep circling back around Wow

I tell you guys I interviewed the full house house what no shit. Yeah, oh Where was his time 324? oh Who's ash? Oh just lost to Ashley. Oh, he's fired. He's fine firing him. He beat me. Oh, yeah, he's done Who's Ashley that the weather from big justice crew? Ashley now that's just her big shit Ashley Good job Cody there you go. What other that's the confidence you needed I? Think we all know somewhat do you do this already or frames? I think we all know someone who loves taking photos

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Don't forget to mention That we sent you to show your support for the show terms and conditions do apply but go to aura frames calm Promo code yak yeah, Nick. How would Steve Urkel say that? Or frames calm promo code yak yeah, Nick. How would Steve Urkel say that? How would he say Kate? That we were going for yeah, how would Steve Urkel's house say that? Maybe that'll be my new series. Yeah, just talk interviewing houses that has potential. Okay Hmm that has potential. I think that you going on a date with you has huge potential

Mm-hmm. I love Stoolies sometimes reach out and I'll like take time making them an itinerary for something. I really enjoy it. You find stuff. What is it about it that you enjoy? I'm just curious, what compels a woman to be drawn to that? I think it's the part of the thing that makes me love being a mom. And I compare it, I think I've said,

but I always refer to the scene in The Wedding Singer when the old lady puts the meatballs in his hands and is like, I wanna to watch you enjoy it. I love, like that's the feeling I have about like, like if I see something that I enjoy and then I tell other people to go to it and they enjoy it, that's like a high for me. Yeah. Are you, so on vacations I imagine you have the itinerary. Yeah.

If you don't follow the itinerary, if you were supposed to be, you know, done with dinner at 7.30 and it's 7.45 and they still haven't even served entrees yet, are you losing your fucking mind? No, so I, same thing with parenting. I'm less of a scheduled person and more of a, let's aim for a rhythm of the day. If we can hit these kind of things in a good flow,

I'm cool with it, I'm like pretty chill, but I do have like a minute by minute It is like it looks crazy on paper, but if you experience it with me It's not yeah, if you if you don't follow it to the minute. It's not the end of the world not the end of the world Yeah, okay, so get in New Orleans. I had a couple things planned and got to get that didn't work out I'm like fuck it. Whatever. Yeah, I'm in the moment. It's fine But I do love planning a while ago There was I still remember like my biggest hits where I had other people do something I liked and they liked it there was in New York City

I forget the name of the troop, but they they would reenact you lost They did Home Alone and Jurassic Park. They would reenact the whole movie, but with just two people, a couple props, and a sound person doing the sound right there with glasses, whatever. It sounds so lame.

Is there a clip of it? It was like Hold On To Your Butts was the Jurassic Park one. And I watched it and I was like, this is the most brilliant shit I've ever seen. It was amazing. And so I made it, it was traveling across the country. So if I knew somebody in Terre Haute and I saw it was gonna be, I was like, this is the most brilliant shit I've ever seen. It was amazing. And so I made, it was traveling across the country. So if I knew somebody in like Terre Haute and I saw it was gonna be,

I was like, call up somebody I hadn't talked to in three years and be like, you gotta go to this show. And people got back to me and they're like, you were right, that fucking ruled. And I'm still like on a high from it. Why don't you direct a two person movie here? Make people do a two person? I should.

Reenact that. But it was cute. Yeah, hold on to your butts. It was the best. It was awesome. I was actually thinking about these people the other day and they have to be doing, they're great. It's great. It's just those two guys. They reenacted the whole movie with only five props on stage. So cleverly. In the beginning when the helicopter comes in and it's the waterfall, they just had a cup of water pouring into another cup and an umbrella spinning, but they nailed it.

It's hard to explain. I would love to see. Oh, go to video. They also did, was it Home Alone or? Dinosaur ruled the earth. 30 years ago, a movie about dinosaurs ruled the box office. Now two idiots and a foley artist perform a live shot-for-shot parody of the greatest film in cinema history Get ready for butts

Fucking love to this I went to see it like eight times and it was in no way I fucking loved it. I thought it was like the most clever thing I ever saw and then I made other people go see it and they loved it And I felt like such a high from that. I bet this is good It rolled are they coming to go go were those current dates yes Shut the fuck up. Oh, yeah recent comebacks. They're the guys to do it shut up. This is the worst-case scenario Did we miss it? They're in the UK. Oh my god. If you're in the UK, please go see it. That's awesome Yeah, more venues. I saw it years ago. I didn't know it was still they're still doing it

I can't believe they're here and I missed it So are you worried for your future dates that it the itinerary is gonna exclusively be in Chicago? And you might have run out of things, but I don't think I could ever run out of things. Yeah, I don't think I could either actually. You know how they do like the paint and sips? Yeah. Oh yeah. There's a museum here. What do they call it when you stuff dead animals?

Taxidermy. There's a taxidermy museum and it's like drink wine and taxidermy a dead animal, but you can also do yoga with their possum. Oh, how romantic. The possum like crawls around on you. Really? Yeah.

There's something. A live possum? Yes, she's adorable. I'm out. Huh? Trust me. Possums are disgusting. When we go on our dates,

you guys are gonna have a good time. I would say no to the possumins. I found a porn shop that also has an arcade in it. How'd you find it? I drove by it. The kids were nappin'. I do a lot of, the kids are nappin' in the car an arcade in it. How'd you find it? I drove by the kids were napping. I do a lot of the kids are napping in the car So I just am like, you know what? I'm gonna pick a neighborhood and go down every single street. You kids go play games I'll be over here. Yeah, and have you been to Billy Corgan's cat cafe? No, it's on the list though. Okay It's on the list. They're still open right after his mother

What about a bad experience you've had or do you like everything? I even kind of like the bad stuff because it's... Bad? Yeah. I can't even think of a bad one. But that kills your credibility. If everything's good... Right.

Have you ever recommended something to somebody and they were like, I didn't have fun at all and I don't like you anymore. I think I dragged my cousins to that home alone thing in Indianapolis And one of my cousins left like halfway through just didn't see him again. So maybe that they didn't love it So do they fly into Chicago you wanted to not like that, but you couldn't bring yourself to say you didn't like it Like your reaction after that felt like you didn't like it, but you're you can't say the words. I didn't enjoy that I was upset because I thought it was a quote along yeah, and I thought everyone was gonna be in costume like we were Mm-hmm, and that was not the case you were under well

I was disappointed, but we still went on a bar crawl afterwards and ended up having like I still loved the movie I teared up watching it. I had a great time. I had a great time You did it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be I want to do a series I'm gonna take you out and make you have a horrible time do a series called this fucking suck. Yes Well, I finding something that sucks. I wanted to do you know Kate and this fucking sucks Well some people can I show you a bad time? Well, this is my I had an idea for a show where like you know online You'll see you like a post from Kansas City and the comments would be like I love Kansas City

But then half the comments like Kansas City fucking sucks But where you take somebody who hates that city to do they give you their tour of like all the things they hate about the city And then someone like me who's gonna fucking love it I like and then you stitch it together, and it's like the best and worst of the city combined kind of thing But I owe you a date Kate Maybe we'll go to o block and we can go to see the poo statue on the north side I want to see that a White Sox game. That's a cool little street. What is it the poo fountain? I've been to the yeah, yeah that whole streets cool

It's a fountain yeah, and it was the artist who lives there got sick of his neighbors leaving dog shit out everywhere So he erected as almost like a fuck you. All four sides. But look at this right here. The poop. I'm just going to give you a little bit, but it's been here since 2005. Yeah. 2005. The shit fountain. On all four sides. It says shit and it's these bronze coiled poop where water

flows through the shit in this pedestal as an ode to all Chicagoans to you know clean up your shit because Nobody likes running or walking and getting stuck in the rat hole that they filled in yeah Oh, yeah, they had to remove that entire cement block to stop people from Yeah, people throwing flowers down families were families were visiting. People got married there. Ridiculous. Good God. And I don't even think it was a rat.

I think it was a squirrel. If this couple, the Yak couple, gets married. Yeah, that was in Roscoe Village, right? Yeah. You should plan this couple's wedding. If they get married, we'll get them married in the tunnel. I would love nothing more. The reception will be in the gym.

I didn't end up getting to officiate their wedding because I ended up having my baby like three days before they got married, but I was asked to officiate my cousin's wedding and I had a whole plan. There was gonna be like doves coming out of my side. I had like, I like had a whole, you're gonna have a good time is the moral of that story.

Before I worked here, I made this poster for, I was gonna to do gender reveals for couples and so like somebody would wheel me out I'd have a blanket over me if it was a boy I'd have my eye open which is my blue eye and if it was a girl I'd have my tongue out and this couple from Billings, Montana Called and not called they reached out to me on Twitter and asked me to do their really I never did it But I would love to do it again. I was gonna have my roommate like wheel me out and they would pull the blanket off my eye. I was open. It was a boy. We should do. You can hire the act to help you with a proposal to help you with a gender reveal. I would love to send us anywhere. And then you yeah. Hi Fee. But we'll do a bachelor

parties. I would love to play in your bachelor party Oh, you would get all the boys laid would have even if you had to do it yourself I think I promise you guys are gonna fuck on this It's the last thing I do that's my promise to you You book yourself as the stripper oh yeah That could be a legitimate business guys Guys don't like planning shit. I know, I know. I got my brothers coming up, I might have to hit you up. Are you the best man?

Where is it? We don't know yet. We're deciding. Have a K-planet. Yeah. I like when people do where everybody brings an idea and you pick it out of the hat kind of thing and they get disqualified and then it's the final one

or like You all have to pitch where you think you should go That's more of a gals thing, but maybe you guys could do that and be cute Honestly, if you're just drinking inside a huge house for two days straight that that pleases any guy playing pool basketball I want to do a Renaissance fair for mine, but all out. I want all my boys in full plate armor I'll have them pick their weapon at the door. Renaissance people party. They're the horniest folk on earth.

They're insanely horny. Yeah. And that's not what I want to live in the time. I don't want to be, yeah. Do they like fuck at the fest? Like how does everyone know they're so horny? So a lot of them, there's like the plot of land where the fair actually is, and then there's usually

like a few farms around, because they're always out in the boonies, where like there's camps, especially for the people who work there, kind of like carnies do. And so there's like the workers camp, and then people will like spend a whole long weekend or a whole week at the Renaissance Fair camped out in like the different posses, like mix and mingle and like

It's almost like a mega band camp gathering kind of vibe if that makes any sense those were people to yeah cracking off those chastity But what makes them so horny? But you can see it when you go to one they're all with each other and I mean they're interesting kind of person So maybe those are the only other people they have finding somebody that finally at long last I found someone Yeah, we have to we have to fuck we have to fuck right now right now I think it's easier to have confidence to when you're playing a character like I think that's why furries are so horny Yep, like you're just pretty like you're you have like more of a freedom to I'm always more confident with my face completely covered

Have you guys done furry? with my face completely covered. Have you guys done furry? Uh, not furry. Have you guys, I feel like somebody here has to have had gone to a furry convention. There has to have been somebody. That's gotta be. Um, I feel, those guys are already losers

and I feel bad of doing it, shining a light on it. Making fun of it. I just called them losers, which was mean, but. They are. Yeah, but it's like, what are you gonna? Do is punch punch punch down? Doing circles in the park That's gotta be a bar still after dark just call we have to call 1,000 furries losers Get back to our roots we have to have a furry yacker. We have to yeah

We like sports like a real man Is there like a test you take to figure out your fursona or is it like you just choose? Well, I wrote a few blogs about furries for cuz furries do make the news every now and then for they like destroyed that one Hotel at their furry fest. They completely destroyed it. They were a motley crew or something. Oh, yeah. I remember hearing about that. But I wrote about them kindly because I didn't want to punch down on the furry community.

And a bunch of them reached out to me and were like, thank you for being so nice. Wow. And they helped me come up with my snow fern. It was a snow fauna. What do you call it? Fursona? Fursona. Fursona. It was a snow fox named McGonagall. Wow. And it was red, white, and blue

because I was in the military. How they make you, like they said like what animal you were or like why snow fox? I think you're a fox. Because I was a fox, I was like I feel like like Stone Cold Fox. I have kind of gray hair, so a snow fox. And then they were like oh you were in the military,

red, white, and blue. I saw somewhere I have the picture of like the layout they sent me of me as a furry. We should get a furry on the show and just have us create a fursona. Yeah, we all figure out what our fursona is. Who we are, yeah, who we actually are. Well, they resell, too. A lot of times, beginner furries can only afford costumes

because you up your costume over time. I went way too deep into the culture. And you improve it and blah, blah, blah. costumes, because you up your costume over time, I went way too deep into the culture. And you improve it and blah, blah, blah. And so a beginner furry will often get an old furry's beginner furry suit. So you start out with hand-me-downs as you're finding yourself. And then as you, a lot of them don't have a lot of money.

And pardon my ignorance, they fuck big suits they fuck in the suits though They come off. It's not just like let's keep the head on it's not just like let's walk around town So it's like it's like a classy masquerade ball if you look at the furry social media world It's like all they love cartoons of each other fucking. It's like the horniest It's like one of the horniest corners of the internet a lot of furries are have a vore fetish vore It's being swallowed and eaten. Yes, and living in a belly. Yep There's a youtuber anthpo who did a video sort of investigating the furry community and the maybe the dark Side of it and like because the rumors are that these furry conventions are just like sex conventions

Like he went to go discover if that was true or not Yeah And he kind of got into himself into a little bit of trouble on the internet because he did find out that that was true like he like had like a GoPro on at like a sex party and Turned out it's a sex party and he got in a lot of trouble for like yeah filming that With that without telling people but can't do what he went deep into the culture and yeah it's as advertised it's yeah it's a lot of fucking I used to go to a lot of board game conventions they don't fuck not a lot of they're not fucking there no no they're not fucking there no so what

you got a slit in the front if you're fucking in the costume there's a hole yeah there's there's like zippers and yeah it's a hole that's really interesting there's like zippers and mmm. Yeah, it's a hole That's really interesting yeah, I would love to find myself I'd be afraid if it feels right Would be scary to wow this is this feels really good for the first time in my life I'm comfortable there were a lot of interviews with people that were like yeah I don't feel comfortable in normal social settings and here everybody feels uncomfortable equally So it was kind of nice some of the interviews Really, I feel super awkward around all people except right now where we were all animals very clearly

expressing ourselves I'm sold. I'm sold, too Do we want to tease what big cat suggested for next Friday's Plinko day? I? Won't be here, but what did he suggest? I missed it he suggested plink oh day subathon every X amount of subscribers equals another point. That's a really good idea Being a cool coat the closer very cool coat Let's hear the voice There's no way they got you again. No, I'm good dentist again. Yeah

Figured you guys be done by now Not even to it was a late one. What was uh what's going on in your mouth man? They need a reinforcement I had five hands in my mouth at one no kidding damn But what for what I? Got my teeth straightened out. I can't do that one sitting They were like jagged at the bottom. Oh, they filed you down out filled me up. Are you grinding at night? I've grind a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of non conversations just

Asking me open-ended questions. While your mouth's open? While they got hands in your mouth? 25 fingers in my mouth, two tools. Got any plans this summer? Yeah, like I can say yes or no, like, uh-uh. But not like I wanted the Eagles to win. Do you have any parlays in the Super Bowl this year? Yeah.

Yeah, they wanted it all. Stuff like that. They wanted it all. Yeah, does anybody have a Reese's cup I Would like one I would really like one too Since they've been Since they've been brought on board it's been we need here we go the highlight of my day They've been really good lately

Frisbee won my way see if I can catch it. Oh she can't oh she can Delicious Kyle would you ever do you think a part of you could ever be a furry? She can't oh she can Delicious Kyle would you ever do you think a part of you could ever be a furry? So a furry wears like a animal mascot suit yeah, and they just they seem like they have fun But no I don't like I don't like that. It's for people that aren't comfortable in their own skin though You get to be somebody else something else. I'm into that but not I'd rather be like a You get to be somebody else something else. I'm into that but not I'd rather be like a

Like a skateboarder, that's your first. That's your fursona dude. I wouldn't Bob burn quest Why all these every's like a rhino and a horse Bob burn? I Feel like they'd be accepting right I think so um what is like the stereotype Stinky and horny okay, depraved Why were you talking about them? We're just talking about how yeah? I just I don't know how it came up It's probably Renaissance Renaissance fairy convention Did you hear the rumor like our high school had like? Like things conducive to furries Did you hear the rumor like our high school had like Like

Things conducive to furries? Like a litter box? Like a litter box? That was a rumor in a lot of schools Yeah Right? Did you guys hear that? Yeah Which is not, can't be true

I think it was just like a chain letter that people were copying and pasting on Facebook But are kids showing up to school furries? We, I mean I went to school with kids the mask kids were wearing tails. Yeah Some small some big The kids are the tails the tails okay? Yeah, the kids were all sizes I missed you dude Children of all sizes Mariano Rivera

Mows them down and that's it folks. That's a one two three. That was my knuckleball. I did like that about high school kids were all sizes Yeah, you're right. Really tiny freshmen. some of the smallest you'll ever see smallest boys Yeah, there was always like one really tiny boy. Yeah, Kyle like like thin okay? Yeah, there was always a sickly boy. Did you guys dress? How'd you dress for school? Jeans always my parents were gene like yeah, they wouldn't let me wear sweats Yeah, only jeans or not only but like yeah, you can't wear sweats You just can't wear sweats kids now wear pajama pants everywhere. Yeah to lift I wasn't we had to wear

khakis something like this dress shoe any collared shirt Hair had to be certain length you were telling you guys got drunk tested regularly in your high school like all of you randomly Yeah, that's crazy. I was a little scrawny white boy pretending cosplaying as a skateboard I was wearing a dirty ghetto kids purple drank t-shirt I Kind of like the uniform though though I wouldn't want to pick what I'm wearing every day at 7 a.m. let's yeah it's a great equalizer too anyway was difficult yeah I played all the sports so I loved we always got to you got to wear your uniform to school that day or whatever three all those

sports yeah I did track basketball lacrosse field hockey I did cross country in the summer no conflicting seasons They would have to be I tried so I did field hockey all four years, but then every year I tried a new sport kind of thing Whatever I would practice a motivation or you want it to actually succeed in the sport. I just love to fucking run I like like to be I just like liked to be active. I think and social I'm gonna do love a good halftime orange Is that why you a lot of Clementines at halftime? I also felt cool wearing the hood I think you got cool clothes to wear you got cool gear to wear it around to your classes Titus you had to have

Dressed cool. Yeah, uh yeah, I don't I don't really remember the Fitch probably shirt But I had the stitch letters on it the really big letters letterman jacket a lot of a lot of Mom picked this up at Kohl's with Kohl's cash I honestly dress like Connor Griffin does now okay. Yeah, to be honest. That's fair My shoe game was crazy. I was wearing the clear pro-cads, and I wore Snoop Dogg doggy biscuits like the high top Yeah, I remember those. Yeah, those are sick. You really were those. Oh, yeah I think they're called doggy biscuits. I'd love they were I'd love to get my feet on those again a lot of old Navy Oh, yeah, like a button-up shirt from old Navy those like button 599

Yeah, yeah Whoo no I the high top like black yeah, I was rocking the doggy biscuits Fuck yeah, why'd I do that man? Why are people making fun of me? What can you Kyle you want to sign us off? Yeah, um What did you Kyle you want to sign us off? Yeah, um What did you guys talk about? parenting or surface some I told co what has happened. I talked about Cody picture

Yeah, the coach is doing a joke to you in front of Sam Cody did the gauntlet had a good Johnson joke Stay in your lane. Yeah, oh my god Then he did the gauntlet that was about it you didn't miss much oh We watched a lot of old barstool videos nice TJ pulled up our cribs video I Watched like stool scenes from like 2019 and it feels so old yeah, we we've changed. I don't know if we evolved I don't know evolve is the word, but we change fast. Yeah But you know what's comforting knows like right now. We figured it out and the shit. We're putting out now is all good

Figured it out. We finally we yeah, we have it finally solved it. We mastered our craft Yeah from here on out. It will be time everything very good You never watch clips back from this episode in like five years Maybe Kyle walk in and Kyle remember that time you said kids were all sizes Best part of high school is the size of child the variance. It was a good Summer just a little area there was some of the biggest kids. Yeah, I know. It was unbelievable. I guess that is the phase of life.

Where the same age is the craziest range. Yearbooks should be sorted. Smallest to biggest. The buildings with all sizes. The biggest guy should have the biggest headshot. Smallest to biggest yearbook and clowning your dude for dating a chick that's on page 68 Yeah, if you're a teacher at a high school send me like data I'll pay you for the for the data

They do it like the caveman evolving into a human. I would love to see a high school lined up smallest to biggest It would have to be the whole high the whole high school the whole student body Has anyone that would be a dream to just know that I think do perfected that actually god damn it god fucking damn it Made it to the last one yeah, yeah damn All right, see you spin the wheel Mackenzie dating show reminder cutoff is at 230 to finish sending in your email if you're in the next round When we when we dive in in tomorrow So I think yeah tomorrow we're narrowing it down to like okay, just being Lucas is on the sticks tomorrow So just let him know okay. Oh boy. Oh god. I don't think you will don't send me your phone number

Good point. Oh Few all right guys. We'll be back tomorrow with more the yeah It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Get your straws, yak style, and stay for a while! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! It's the Yak! Yes, I'm the dark shopper, do a Yankee swap, it's the Yak! It's the Yak! In the dark shop, we do a Yankee swap is the act

Is the act Lucas in the chair tomorrow take it easy on on him. He's just a boy Make sure he doesn't dox anybody if he does it was funny last time. I'll be back Tuesday. No show Monday reminder alright say bye Connor Bye Connor. Love you guys, but