The Yak - No Whackin, No Q-Tips, And No Tongue Kisses For KB This Weekend | The Yak 10-28-21

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh, there's Bailey right there. Switch to the cam. What the fuck? Hope y'all like wild onions. Harlan, go sit on a tuffet. Get some whey, my bro. Dude, I saw Bailey and Billy having a little powwow.

Yeah. I don't want to air it out, but it was pretty funny. It was. Billy is defensive today because he put out the worst tweet of all time yesterday. All the time. It was just a. He like, I think he thinks that people are trying to cancel him. It's like, no, it's a bad tweet.

I also had quite a moment yesterday. Did you guys catch that the guy deleted i think his entire account but uh okay i tweeted about cars having sex yeah oh yeah um and i was hanging out with my son it was like i don't know six o'clock i'm not on twitter i just popped on just to say that tweet and some guy was like you really chose to tweet this in the middle of, like, new information about the Blackhawks investigation? Damn. Like, how tone deaf.

I was like, are you serious? That's awful. I was like, wait, you can't be real. Was he being, like, ironic? Dead serious, because then he blocked me, he blocked everyone. I replied, I was was like you can't be serious right now that's like those are like the worst people on the earth yeah i got called

a racist three times last night publicly on twitter and then one dm oh because uh with when caleb responded to che i just took the leaders of north and south korea shaking hands i forgot che was asian that's how little racist I am. It was in the slides. It was in the slides, but it slipped my mind immediately. Well, you are racist. I am racist. They didn't get you there.

I'll use half myself to speak for all Asians everywhere. You're forgiven. Thank you. Wow, all Asians? That was many billion people. That's actually racist. Steven, why didn't you, now that we're talking about it, why didn't you do I'm the only five point guy on a throwing star?

Yeah. Wouldn't that have been more? On the nose? Someone made a Swiss Army knife with all my heads, which was nice. It should have been a karate throwing star. Yeah, something. Your Asian tool is a chopstick. No, you're racist.

No, I'm in the clear. I'm in the clear. And I've been wanting to say that since I met Steve. No, you've been forgiven for what you said. Yeah, you don't get it. Carte Blanche. You don't have Carte Blanche. Steven, the top star is the film community.

I forget your other stars. Asian. Gambling, fantasy. Yep. Film community, diehard fan of one team. Yep. Fantasy football. Yep.

Yes, yes. I was a diehard fan of one team. It's hard. It's hard to do. Because if you're an analyst, that pretty much removes you because you can't be. It separates him from the analyst. Zah's been giddy as fuck this week. You've been on one, Zah.

I love it. Yeah. All right, so anyone else been canceled recently? I was called out for cultural appropriation. Oh, no. Let's just dump everything out right here, boys. Did you release the quid game today? Yes I was told that I was culturally appropriating

Oh no The British? Yeah, they said I'm getting in on island boys Cultural appropriation But you were aggressively trying to culturally appropriate Yeah But that's my thing, if I want to get it off my chest I appropriate

You can't appropriate British culture You just say you have an addiction to it Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but that's my thing. If I want to get it off my chest, I appropriate. You can't appropriate British culture. You just say you have an addiction to it. Yeah, oh, that's actually a get-out-of-jail-free quote. Like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Work for Tiger? Yeah, and I'm also depressed. He's like, I'm a sex addict.

You all right? What? You're making noises like a sow. Yeah, I can't burp. Burp him. Burp him, sass. I did hear you have like an inside burp. Yeah, it was that.

You make a burp. Fuck out of here. I'm worried sick. Don't focus on it. You stopped the show to burp. Why shouldn't it be the focal point? You were making noises. Whatever sound I'm making.

What does it matter? You said that burping into a microphone. It made me burp. I've never had a burp make me burp. Those are some blue ass mountains right there. Those are. What does it matter? Into a microphone. It made me burp. I've never had a burp. Make me burp. Those are some blue ass mountains right there. Those are. Who put that there? You brought that in, man.

How fucked up are you? It's still well within arm's reach. Get this out of here. Get this shit away from me. Put some in his pocket. No, I'm weaning myself off all pleasure. Yeah?

No whacking, no Q-tips, no tongue kisses. What about sneezes? That's the big three. Yeah. No tongue kisses. You're not gonna,

you're gonna tongue this weekend. I see it every time. I'm done. You're done tonguing. It's not worth it. Not for pleasure anyway. Just so strict. He kisses for business.

CPR only. That's how he seals deals. This guy's always talking frisk. CPR on people. KB, do you fuck with David Goggins? Walter? Who's that? No.

David Goggins, the runner? Yeah. The guy who's always like, KB, I feel like Goggins. I feel like Goggins could do you some good. Is he a runner? Pull up some Goggins. He was like a Marine. Pull up some Goggins.

Oh, I know who he is now. No. Yes, that's you. You don't like a runner? Pull up some Goggins. He was like a Marine. Pull up some Goggins. Oh, I know who he is now. No. Yes, that's you. You don't like Goggins? I don't like him. Gary Vee for the military. He's like Gary Vee, but 10 times,

or 100 times cooler. He's always running, and he's shredded. Didn't we talk to a guy like that last year that wasn't Goggins? Yeah, Ray K. Oh, yeah, he was dope.

I liked him. I was pushing real hard. Okay. But we're afraid to go to that dark side. Yeah. K.V. I liked him. I was pushing real hard. Okay. But we're afraid to go to that dark side. Yeah. KV? I always was.

In your mind, when you push real hard, you have this door in your mind. This is who Mincy thinks he is when he pushes the treadmill picture. When the destroyer shows up. He's about to walk into a poker room and they're all, destroyer. The problem with this guy is like. Nothing? No. There is no problem.

His biggest problem is like, I guarantee if you just try to be like, hey, man, come over. Let's watch the game. He'd be like restless and not be able to sit on a couch. He'd walk there. Is this his dark tunnel? He's just walking in a normal neighborhood. You can't chill with. That's a long wall.

Really? Yeah. No, I just give up. His captions are too long. Giving up is way easier. And you can really scroll. There's more caption underneath there. My body adjusts very easily.

I just stop walking. Stay hard. Stay hard, boys. Stay hard is his thing. That was my thing for a bit. That's going to be tough for KB. I kind of like stay hard. Stay hard is awesome. KB, I don't want you to get tough for KB. I kind of like stay hard. Stay hard is awesome.

KB, I don't want you to get hard for a very long time. Do you get hard when you tongue kiss? No. What? You don't? No, it feels good, though. But then you get hard. That leads to getting hard, though.

It's more of like a Q-tip pleasure. I'm always hard. Sexual. Yeah. I'm hard right now. What about a sneeze, though, KB? Are you going to stop sneezing? You can't sit that way hard.

You can't cross your legs hard like that. Oh, I'm hard. Feel my cock. Nice grab, Brando. By the way, Tank Thursday. So here's going forward. Tank, I've told him that whenever there's an absence, he's more than welcome to join us on Thursdays when there's a Nat 7. I'm not going to kick anyone off who's a regular on this show, so he will sit out.

It's fair. I think he would. Well, it was fair two weeks ago when we came up with this deal. Then when I reminded him today, he, man. It was tough to watch. What did it look like, Nick? I saw his tweet. He did not look at you. He tweeted something? Yeah, he. It wasn't. What did it look like, Nick? I saw his tweet. He did not look at you.

He tweeted something? Yeah, he did. Sad dog. What did he tweet? He says, I guess since I'm not on the yak, I'm going to go do my own adventure. Yeah. That sounds fun. Yeah, I know.

But I think that's a fair compromise, is it not? Where's the loyalty? I can't. Damn. Oh, there's going to be a slideshow, though. But Museum of Natural History will be fucking crazy. I don't know. What else?

I mean, I think that's the fairest way to deal with this. Is it not? We can't just kick somebody off. I mean, he was always here because we were traveling. We have a full crew. Right.

So everyone's here every Thursday now. Mm-hmm. Stop it. I'm going to kick you off the show. I'm going to kick you off the mic.

You were an inch away from the mic I'm texting Tank What do you want me to do? Tank's coming back Go run away Go scramble away You sound like a gurgling bog It's gross

You're like You're a fucking bog Like a withdrawing What are you withdrawing from? Pleasure That's what my fucking stomach does Che, congrats on all of the Participants in your Che chant.

It wasn't his Che chant. Even Caleb? Who started it? How many strong? Like 3,000. Jesus, that's like a sold out Big Ten softball game. It's like a Congo line at a big wedding. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. I didn't expect that, but it was very nice

to see everyone. Shout out, Caleb. You and the most unlikely of sources chiming in, which was great it was awesome to see that was yeah it was it was an incredible moment that's when i knew we had something special yeah what is this thing you just texted us steven dude pete has a logo for his corp abp corp? All business Pete Corp? Yeah. What? It's like the, so I open it, we're using like a new video stream to cut clips. And the default slate is ABP Corp. I hate that logo. It's horrible.

Jesus. The gradient. He needs to get in here right now. That's an awful logo. He has a logo? It looks like a public access TV logo from 1980. Is the satellite trying to fuck the words? The satellite has just a huge stereo jack.

Can you show it? Can you put it up on the screen? KB is here. Oh, no. Oh, God. He's damn fat, too. It's like an alien inside of his stomach. My boy is curdling hard.

He's been eating nothing but bison. This is the scene. He only eats bison and kratom. Ugh. Look at that logo. What the fuck is that? Yeah, KB, like if this was a...

How about a Tums? If this was a horror movie, this would be like the scene right before we all just get eaten by whatever's inside your stomach. I've always been like that.

I never burped in my life and that's like what it does instead. You're very shiny today too. Shut up. You're shiny as fuck. You're shiny. No, one of his pleasures

is being Matt. He gave up on being Matt. Why does your wife hate me? Here we go. My wife doesn't hate you. Why does she? You lie like I play the French horn Well

Get in his ass KB What's happening Get in his ass KB Get in his ass You're not making sense Get in his ass I feel like she hates me Yeah

Air this dirty laundry My wife doesn't even know who you are Why is that That's even worse That is worse That is so much worse She doesn't watch the act Yeah but she Why is that? That's even worse. That is worse. Apathy is worse than hate. She doesn't watch the act.

Yeah, but she was in the office. I met her. When? It was on Dayport or Sex Tape Day. Oh, yeah, that's right. No, no, another time too. Federal crime.

Oh, she was here? Yeah. I waved to her a couple weeks ago. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Yeah, you did. Come out of the airport.

Rome met her. Rome's the only person here that met my wife. I just said I fucking met your wife. I met her multiple times. Oh, Stephen Chaseman to my house. Yes, that's right. Milk.

So everybody else has met him at KB. I was wrong. What? The question of do you have milk? I could now see myself asking someone that. Right? I was going somewhere. Yes.

And if you- That was hand up. Listen, I'll admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong. Wait, what's the milk thing? Remember, he texted Brandon and was like, hey, he was coming over to Brandon's house to do something. And he was like, just wondering, do you have milk? And we laughed at him about it.

But now that I have a young brood, you have to know where the milk is. Two questions is, do you have milk? And are you a shoes onon or shoes-off person? That part was still weird. You can just ask him that. You can just take them off. You just find out when you get there. You look at the door when you get there.

So shoes at the door, you take the shoes off. How do you prepare for that? Actually, I'm a shoes-off person in my apartment, and you walk around. You intentionally just stomp around. That's a bullshit thing, KB. Why should I fucking take my shoes off in his apartment? Because the fucking streets of New York are disgusting. You have your shoes off in your apartment?

Yes, I put on slippies at the door. Every time. Yes, I have house slippies. You have slippies for how many people? What? You have slippies for how many people? They can wear their socks or BYOS. It would be funny if you had the painter's boots.

Oh, yeah, I should have those. I actually do need those. You can keep your shoes on, but you've got to put these booties on. I think they also those. If you can keep your shoes on, we've got to put these booties on. I think they also sell contraptions that you put your foot in. You dunk your foot in a tank or something like that. It's like a plastic bag around your shoe. Oh, shrink wraps your shoe.

Wow. I feel like that would be just asking for a fall. Let's get that for Nick, though. We have an update on the logo. What's he saying? Colby said in the group chat that TechGuyAndrew made that logo in 2017 on Microsoft Paint. Wow. So why is it a thing now?

Why are we just finding out about... How many unread text messages do you have? 396. That's an ego move. How? I don't know. Well, whenever I get one from a business or something, I never open it. They all add up.

You keep it around 30 to 34. That's a cool popular guy, man. How many? 300? I just got it down from 700 last week. What? Yeah. I don't know.

I don't read all my texts. I have 569. Wow. Because you see what it is, you don't have to open it. It's like when Uber or fucking Uber Eats are like these stupid, it's like your Uber is arriving. Then another number will be like your Uber is here. I never open that. It's like multiple numbers. It's like, well is arriving. Then another number will be like, your Uber is here. I never open that.

It's like multiple numbers. It's like, well, I'm not even going to give you the time of day. I'm not even going to swipe out of it. But what if then you have text messages you miss, but they get caught in that system? But I don't miss them. Yeah, I don't miss them. You don't miss them. I don't miss them.

I think you've missed a text before. Brandon doesn't miss. My last one is, thank you for your payment to Edison Park Fast. I'm not opening that. Why would I open that? Yes. Say you're welcome. Your credit card statement is six months behind.

Why would I open that? If a conversation naturally ends, if you see goodbye or something at the end of a conversation, do you feel the need to open it? Yes, you have chlamydia. I don't need to open that. That's not what I need to open. That's more perverted than a closed mouth laugh. Our boy KB needs a vacation.

He does. Why don't you get away? No, he's giving up on pleasure. Business vacation. So why did you decide to give up all pleasure? Let's send him somewhere. Business or pleasure, you're just business everywhere. There is no pleasure.

What was the leading point to giving up pleasure? It's a technique because the pleasure after you experience it only accentuates the displeasure that's going on in your baseline mood. But what about maybe taking like if you went to like, I don't know, like Key West, but you only blogged. So is a pleasure dynamics on their head. Yeah, right. Like you're in the most pleasurable place in the world and you're only working. How will you break the pleasure fast? He's going to fuck us.

I don't know. Like if you go without pleasure for two weeks, how do you. I'm not. I'm weaning myself. How do you choose the first pleasure coming off? I don't know. It's going to be orgasm. It's going to be orgasm. It's going to be orgasm.

Nocturnal. What are we doing? I made that up, obviously. It's going to be a Snickers bar. Nocturnal emission. A single Snickers bar. But you're also kneeling

in front of the barrage of arrows that should be coming at Lil Sass's different pants that he's never worn before. What? Different pants?

No, I've worn these pants many times. I've never seen you. No one's ever seen those pants. Those are like dinosaurs. First pants. They're very wrinkly. Put the leg down.

Wow. That's a good cut, brother. That's a good cut. So you can do both legs, huh? Holy fuck. That's a good cut. Look at the cuff. Look at that.

Those aren't off. It's like about an inch and a half. What is that? Those are the both leg pants. Not righty or lefty pants. Yeah, those are ambidextrous. We should start selling righty pants. Right-handed pants.

I feel like people would, yeah. Just has that pocket. Well, no. If we just market it as that, they're just pants. Yeah. But people are like, oh, fuck. I've been wearing left-handed pants. These got to be left-handed pants. Well, you're if we just market it as that, they're just pants. Yeah. But people are like, oh, fuck. I've been wearing left-handed pants? He's got to be left-handed pants.

Well, you're getting ahead of yourself. We could make that a part of Big Cat when you buy it. You have a right-handed t-shirt? Big dog. Big dog. Excuse me. Big dog. You called it Big Cat?

Yeah. I did. I fucked that up. I was looking at him when I said it. They're going to get a lawsuit on your hands after that. Yeah, you are. From me. Yeah.

Personally, we should start suing people. Yeah, we should. Let's get litigious. Litigation week? Let's get all up and litigious in this shit. Do we have a nut off tomorrow? I'm not going to be here.

My boy booked his ticket. He's here. So he's here. He's in New York City. I'm not going to be here. What about Ruiz? And his nut. Two seats.

Ruiz lives here. Why aren't you going to be here? You keep saying that, but is he going to be here? Why am I not going to be here? I'm starting to think Ruiz doesn't exist. Oh, shit. Or is nuts.

Do you want to see his Instagram? You're smirking a lot. Yes. Do you want to see his Instagram? You do smirk a lot when talking about Ruiz. I wouldn't put it behind Roan to like... You always go, oh, he lives here, and then you look away and smile. Make this fictional person an Instagram.

Why does this lie to me? I got a Halloween party tomorrow. Where? Where? Roan, are you really? My son's friend's house. Do you want to FaceTime in for the nut? I would do that.

I'm worried about the optics of this competition. Yeah, I am too. Wait, why aren't you going to be here? I have a Halloween party for my son. Oh, what's he going to be? He's getting invited to one. And I'm not going to be. We're going to Michigan, Michigan State at 730 tomorrow night.

You're going to miss the nut? So, yeah, I think I am because I don't really know. I'm not going to be around on Sunday for proper Halloween, so that makes me a terrible father. So I'm trying to make up for it by being around tomorrow. For fake Halloween? For fake Halloween. Well, he's two, does he know?

He's going to go to a party. He's going to dress up with his friends. Do you want me to get him in today? I don't even know if you can't. Do people in Brooklyn do Halloween? I don't know. I don't know where I would knock on the door. Yeah, they do. Where would you knock on the door?

I don't know. Just not in Jersey. What your neighborhood is like. Fuck. I never even thought about that. Next year I will be. I mean, Halloween is fucked up. Halloween's on a Sunday.

See you around. What am I supposed to do? That's the NFL. Brandon, are your kids going to go trick-or-treating? Yeah. Is that up and finalized? I don't know. Not with these guys.

It's not New York. Who said that and whose decision was that? It probably wasn't yours. No, it wasn't. Probably the wife that hates you. I'm not going to be in town. Wait, you said we can't go trick-or-treating? You'll be in town.

That's a lie. He just said I have the same travel schedule as Brandon. He's 100% lying. No, he doesn't want us to take his kids to the gym. You don't know what I'm going to do after we get back. Even if you wanted to do Saturday night, you could be in town. You don't know what I'm going to do after we get back. We land back in New York at like 1 o'clock on Saturday.

Yeah, but then we got streams. We got all kinds of stuff to do. No, I'm letting you get off the stream. I don't want to get off the stream. I'm Mr. College Football. I can't get off the streams. What'd you miss? I'm Mr. College Football. I can't get off the streams. What'd you miss? I'm Mr. College Football.

I can't get off the streams. I was really looking forward to going to the tree. Of course I gave myself a title. I was literally going to buy a costume. I have one. We could always just kidnap Tommy. Yeah. That's always an option.

We're always circling back to kidnapping Tommy. Well, if you're not going to give him to us, we're going to have to take him. I was genuinely looking forward to it. Cousin Seth Aunt Nick Uncle Kyle You can still do it Seth You can buy a costume

Yeah but You can't go trick or treating By yourself When you're this age I need a boy We need a child Ruiz I should improve Ruiz

And I just sent you Another picture of him In New York So is he coming tomorrow He lives in New York picture of him in New York. So is he coming tomorrow? He lives in New York. He lives in New York. Is he coming here tomorrow? You don't answer the question.

How is he going to come to New York if he lives in New York? That is true. It's a good counterpoint question. Rome's got us there. Is he coming to Barstool HQ? There we go. They're really parsing it, but let me confirm. Oh, I could tell He has huge friends

You can tell? Wait so how are you guys Going to do this Because I don't want to Wait is he a big boy? Alright so now I'm actually worried Maybe I do have to come in tomorrow Because this feels like

You should I think you should Sending me an email Being like why Why is the Yak Having people show their nuts And I'm like I don't know I tried to take

Three hours off All fall For my son's Halloween party But wait you've been Part of the landing for a month Yeah but I never really, I don't know. I tried to take three hours off all fall for my son's Halloween party. But wait, you've been part of the planning for a month. Yeah, but I never really actually. I mean, come on. We plan a lot of things. This isn't blindsiding you.

We plan a lot of things. Just full nudity. Our follow through is at like a 5% rate. Yeah, I bet. So it's very fair for me to assume we never were going to actually do that. No, I told Pat we were expensing his ticket. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I've been over Boy Who Cried Wolves, though. Yeah, same, bro. There's real, Ruiz is real. He's not a fig leaf of my imagination. It's not, you can put it behind me. So what's the plan? I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah.

I just showed Owen. But we need somebody to sketch the nuts. I don't know if we get Play-Doh and we can recreate them for the camera. Tinfoil. Oh, a sketch artist hit me up and said he would come do it. Okay. Showed me his work. It was incredible.

Okay, yeah. Let's get him to come in and draw the nuts. Has he drawn nuts before? How did he know his work was incredible? Because he showed me his portfolio. Yeah, let's get him in, too. I'd like to make sure we have a genitalia sketch artist. But the thing is, we need some sort of robe.

Something, a curtain. Yeah. Didn't you say you wanted a character and a police sketch? Yeah, I wanted to see a goofy, funny one. Huh. We'll make it happen. Fucking Ruiz. Should we bring...

Did Ruiz die? No. Do you guys want to know the truth about Ruiz? You know about Ruiz? Yeah. What is the truth? He's been a long con by me and Roan. What?

So Ruiz doesn't exist. What? He exists. In that time frame, we could have found another Ruiz that actually existed. No, he exists. Who is Pat going to play? He exists. He exists. He doesn't have big nuts. He exists.

What's the run, dude? He may or may not be in jail. Oh, Ruiz. For showing his big nuts. He's a serial voyeurist. Your boy's fake. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. I just made that part up. What?

Oh, and I showed you. This is awesome. Your boy's fake Yeah no I'm just kidding I just made that part up What? Oh and I showed you What do you mean fake? This is awesome We have the fucking Irony boys on their heels All I know is that I have my boy With a big ass gun

And that's all I hear about Ain't no fun When the rabbit's got the gun Fuck you guys Fuck you guys Fucking Pat's at the Arlo Hotel right now He's ready for this

He's been prepping He moved his surgery. He's ready for this. He's been prepping. He moved his surgery to get it drained for this. It's invasive through the abdomen. All right, we have to find a replacement. Now, Ruiz can do a... What if he calls in from the clink? You could tell. Yes, you could tell how big a man's nuts are.

Just paints us a word picture. Yeah, or what if we drop them against similar surfaces and see which makes the louder thud? Tomorrow's newspaper. I would consider that. Yeah, New York Times. If he drops his nuts from a height of a bunk bed and just sees which one slaps harder on the ground. Yeah, have him sit on a basketball hoop. I'll see if there's one at his facility.

And we'll see if he can get his hour during the yak. Otherwise, he could do it from the floor. He could do it from the fucking prison floor. Shit. Is Pat real? I don't know what to believe. Pat is in town. Do you hear how his voice cracked?

You want me to call Pat? That's not a lie tell. Yeah, but your friends will lie about anything. Yes. Exactly. They will. You can call up fucking Nico and he'd have the fucking pick and roll ready to go. I've sent you pictures of the nut.

We've all seen the nut. I haven't. Okay, Pat is in town for another reason, but he's still here to do the nut off. He's here to do the nut off. Wait, why is he in town originally? He's not in town. He's in Philly. Okay, why is he talking about this?

I knew he's for the basketball conference. Yeah, he works for the his fiance works for the A-10. No, it's his fiance. What's happening? St. Joe's? Or LaSalle? Dayton? Yeah, but why Philly?

I don't know. That's where the thing is. Brandon, can you name all 10? No. Dayton, St. Bonav where the thing is. That's where the gala is. Brandon, can you name all ten? No. Dayton, St. Bonaventure, St. Joe's. Big Cat, you Edward Sharped on your podcast. Oh, I did. Without realizing. I know.

You accidentally Edward Sharped. I did. I went down Ole Miss' recent schedule, and I was like, Alabama, Arkansas. Yeah. It was a total accidental Edward Sharpe. And you had a Wheelingite on the pod, and you just talked about his book. Florio, Arkansas. Yeah. It was a total accent on Edward Sharp. And you had a wheelingite on the pod, and you just talked about his book. Florio, yeah. I didn't realize that.

Florio went to my high school. We've talked about this many times. No, we haven't. No, we never. We've talked about it. I think it's been talked about. Well, but that's not fair. If I talk about it, Nick.

I've never talked about it. I was Wikipedia-ing him for my own interest. I had to stumble upon that. What's the point of you and Nick having your nightly debriefings on conversations in the office? If I don't think that I'm talking about everything. I figured we knew. Broke my soul having to find out myself. God damn it.

Can we see ABP Corp again? I want to just make fun of it. That's my alma mater, freshman, sophomore year. You can't call your alma mater if you didn't graduate. What do I call it? I went there. Two years. The school you went to.

Oh, Joe DiNardo? Oh, wow. Johnny Permisi. Bill Gompers? It's John Corbett. My big fat Greek wedding. Northern Exposure. Northern Exposure.

Who are these guys? These guys got quite the fit on. Did you guys see that Alec Baldwin's now blaming that other guy? Yeah. He's doing it very passive-aggressively, too. He's just retweeting stories that blame the other guy. That's fucking awesome. Go to Alec Baldwin's Twitter real quick.

I want to see it. I saw a story with Alec Baldwin. People are writing stories like the real person who fucked up was the assistant director and he just is smashing the retweet button why what are they saying that the assistant director said it was a hot or cold gun why i'm still confused on what like what came out of the gun that killed, was it a real bullet? Bullets. Why do they have real bullets? See, we tweeted this. That's the cold Alec Baldwin.

That's quite the way to deal with this, start retweeting people who are playing. We should tweet him at the Yak account and be like, hey Alec, I heard it was actually the assistant director's fault, not yours. Please retweet. Who is that guy? He's cool. The whole story's fucked up.

He should be grieving. That extreme trauma he just went through. The loss of life. He's in a denial phase. The son of the woman who passed away is probably the one who should be grieving. He's grieving for his career. Anybody who's in her family.

Anyone who's in her family. Anyone who's in her family. Not Al. Maybe our friends. Co-workers. What do you think about him saying that he reached out to the family and stuff? Don't you think he'd be like... Don't you think the family's probably like, we don't really want to talk to you right now?

Yeah, that'd be weird. Since you just killed our mother. It was an accident, though. I think you can reach out for an accident. It was a terrible, terrible accident. I'm in touch with her husband offering my support to him. Yeah. He's in her mother's house.

Slot him a couple million dollars. What are the odds that he's in touch? Should we ratio him? I'm in touch with this ratio? Fuck, that'd be a tough ratio. Murderer plus ratio plus L. Because if we fail, we'll look like goofs.

But if we succeed... If we succeed... I feel like he's going to be the new Tony Stewart. There was like an entire... Remember when there was like the whole Twitter, like there was a niche Twitter that just replied to everyone being like, remember Tony Stewart killed a guy? Yeah.

That's annoying. That's going to be the... Ran that guy over. Yeah. That was brutal. That's going to be the new Alec Baldwin, I feel like. How is that not manslaughter, though? What the new Alec Baldwin, I feel like. How is that not manslaughter, though?

What? What Alec Baldwin did. I don't know. I don't understand. Well, there has to be some sort of... I mean, there's no malice. I mean, actors pick up guns and fire them all the time. I just don't know why there's still... Like, the advances of technology...

They don't even need to fire the guns. Why aren't they using fake guns? I did see that there's a change.org about getting rid of real guns in all Hollywood productions. Has change.org ever changed anything? No. Yeah. The best was when they did the change.org to make Trump not president after he got elected. Can we start a change.org?

What is the point? It got like four million signatures. Do petitions have any legal strength? That's what I'm wondering. I think it's like 100,000 votes and the government has to address it or something like that. What? Is that true? You just have to address it.

Who made that up? They could just say we've addressed it? Change.org changed things. Because if it does, we should change something. Yeah, let's make something right now. What if we did a change.org Stephen Che full-time? That's what I was thinking. Content, full-time content, change.org.

Damn. Change.org. Oh, so they did change some things. Che, are you going to be able to do full-time content if you're going back to school at UTEP? They actually haven't gotten back to me. Oh, that's rough. They're now going to have 99.5% You're the first ever That didn't get into YouTube

Let me scroll my email in case I missed it Yeah, do that I'm sure it's in there, buddy I don't even think you get an email back If you email them, you're accepted I think there is one thing We have to take into our own hands, though Uh-oh, i'm all ears the talent booker at family feud is ducking me oh my goodness

i said four emails oh no docks them skull fuck them who is this pray tell the last email said like um something along the lines of, this will be the last communication I handle over email. I would love to get this done. This would be great. That's what you said? That kind of sounds like a threat. That sounds like a threat.

That sounds like a threat. This is the last time we'll ever speak over email. Next one, face-to-face in your driveway. In your fucking living room. On your way to dropping your kids off at school. Who says that? It's the last time I'm going to say this. It's the last time we will be conversing via email.

He's going to mail a picture of them sleeping. The last face you'll ever see on this earth is mine. He wrote back to me 16 minutes ago. Oh, let's read it. It's a non. What do you mean it's a non? He only does the casting for the syndicated version of the show. Perfect.

And families we cast have to be related by blood, marriage, or legal adoption. I can forward your email to the Celebrity Family Feud casting team, and they may be able to help. All right. Who's been on the Celebrity Family? What is, like, the bar of status? Dallas Brayden was higher than us. How much blood do we have to transfuse between each other to technically be blood

related? Adopt us? Adopt you guys? No, I was thinking maybe we just do a blood doping. Don't a big cat get married and adopt three people. Yeah, we have to do the family version. I don't want to play celebs. I want to play a family. We would be against each other. That was the premise.

Yeah, but we'd be the least celebs ever on Celebrity Family Feud. I think we would drum up more interest online. Would ours even air? Do you know how we hear it? They would release it on YouTube. Depends on how many times you say gay. Do you know what we have to do?

We have an ace in the hole if we want to make Celebrity Family Feud. We're not real celebrities. But so one is. We know at least one. Rodriguez. The Destroyer? The Destroyer. Oh, they wouldn't know. He walks into family feuds across the

country. I'd be like, would a certain Ben Mintz change your mind? The Destroyer. That video was nuts. Why didn't you tell us that you had Ben Mintz change your mind? The Destroyer. The Destroyer. That video was nuts. Why didn't you tell us that you had Ben Mintz? You're in.

You're hosting the show now. Steve Harvey's been fired. The Destroyer. Wait, I didn't even see the video. I just heard about it. What was the Destroyer? He's talking to Dave. When Ben walks into a poker room.

Anywhere across the country. People call him the Destroyer. I walk in casino poker rooms around the country and people say, like, what's up, Destroyer? That's a real thing. Watch his confident walk off. I'm 2-5 in Maine. I'm going to show you something in the World Series, Maine.

I'm going to show you something. He's the Destroyer. What a confident'm going to show you something. He says you're short. What a confident walk-off. But you can hear two. He says, I'm going to show you something. I'm going to show you something. Then you hear two more faint in the distance that he says again. I'm going to show you something really close.

I'd like to hear that. I'd like to hear that one. That's a real thing. I mean, online. Yeah. The return of the destroyer. I'm two for five in the main. I'm going to show you something in the World Series, man. I'm going five in the main. I'm going to show you something in the World Series main.

I'm going to show you something. I'm going to show you something. Three. Four. He's like getting more malicious. I'm going to fucking show you something. What the fuck are you going to show us? He was becoming the Destroyer. I'm going to show you something. I How the fuck are you going to show us? He was becoming the destroyer.

I'm going to show you something. I'm going to show you something. I have a question. Was that his screen name? Is it like his name he played online? It was his online poker screen name. That last one was so faint. It was just like, I'm going to show you something.

I'm going to show you something, bitch. It was like powering down at that point. No, I think he was doing it the other way. He was powering up. He was becoming the destroyer in front of our eyes. How did that conversation start? Dave was like... Dave, very funny, but he was just like, yeah, I'm

thinking about winning the World Series of Poker, but it's just way too much hours. Like, I can make $10 million doing something else for 100 hours. He's like, I don't want to compete I was like you really think you win he's like yeah if I wanted to I think he should just go Dave should just compete and just like bully everyone around yeah like go all in on every hand either he's out right away or like halfway through day one

he's got the biggest stack why is Nate dressed like Jason Mraz. Is he morazing? He's morazing right now. That's Tommy's hat and Nate's just been wearing it every day. He's morazing. I think it's one of those scenarios where he actually really likes the hat but he pretends to wear it. It's a joke. But he's worn it like every day.

The best thing about the men's thing is just that he gave the nickname to himself. And he calls himself the Destroyer. And that it's not true. Are you serious? That is the best thing. What do you mean?

No one knows him as the Destroyer? Have you seen him walk into the Destroyer? Maybe. You've never been to the SIP and you've never seen him walk into the Bellagio. The Destroyer. Hey, what's up, Destroy him walk into the Bellagio. The Destroyer. Hey, what's up, Destroyer? We should rewrite Rounders with the Destroyer. I'm going to show you something.

We should try and boost his ego to the next level. I don't know if we should. What is the next level? We should hire paparazzi for the World Series. You would not bat an eye. No. And have them come up and be like, Destroyer!

Hey, Destroyer! TNC! TNC! You got to win words? Hey, what are your thoughts on Kim Kardashian's new line? Destroyer! They're like, man, this shit's getting out of hand. No pun intended.

Dude, he's the Destroyer. He is a good poker player. That's not a joke. No, he is a very good poker player. You can't be... You can't have won money twice in the World Series of Poker and not be decent. He finished top 75 in the world. He did?

Yeah, in one of them. He makes about 50 Twitter posts a day. I would love for him to win the whole thing. I'm going to show you something. Is Fossil Man still around? I'm going to show you something. I love that guy, Fossil Man. Fossil Man. Is he a poker player with a mask?

No. Come on. Okay. He had glasses. Raymer. Yeah. Greg Raymer. He had reflective glasses.

The Fossil Man. Can we see the picture of the Fossil Man? He wore those like hologram glasses that were like a T-Rex or something. There was a dinosaur. There was a point in time. Dude, the whole mask adjacent. The hostess at that bar we went to was wearing those the other day. Yeah, there was a point in time where World Series of Poker was like.

The hottest thing for our age. The biggest thing in the world. Like 0304. Everyone was playing it. Everyone was like, I want to be Fossil Man. It was also the post-Rounders world. And then we all like. Yeah, that was coming up.

I think everyone just got laid and then we stopped doing that looks like one of the cinebites from hellraiser look at that the fossil i like him he could be looking at anything oh what a beast look at the frosted tips that's a time capsule right there different on the right look at the guy to the right well we gotta we gotta get fossil man oh my god that's beautiful that's just another dimensions ben mitts and the best part is this picture was like 2004, so frosted tips were not cool then. No. A little bit of hoppy. I love that.

It's like a time capsule in a time capsule. Those guys were out of date. That is awesome. Those are frosted to the root. Can we get an ID on the man on the right? I need to see him. Send out the smoke patrol. He was on his Timberlake shit like seven years late.

Poker and competitive eating were coming up around the same time. I remember Eater X was my favorite. You liked Eater X? Can you look up Eater X? I like Badlands Booker. He would eat four heads of lettuce a day because he said it stretched your stomach. He was a fucking man. X, Fossum Man.

He had a documentary about him. Who was the other guy? El Wingador used to El Wingador used to chew frozen Tootsie Rolls to strengthen his jaw. What was his name? El Wingador.

That's Spanish. That's Ketitorex. Nobody knew his true identity. El Wingador was locked up too. Nobody asked. It was the Crazy Legs guy. What was the Crazy Legs? You think the Crazy Legs is Conti? Eater Legs? You think Eater X, Conti?

Eater X walks into restaurants around the country, but no one knows him. Nobody knows my identity because I'm wildly unpopular. Crazy Legs was the dude I was next to. Brandon, are you trying to one-up Big Cat in a casual sit-off right now? I've been sitting like this for a while. Oh, please. I'm just too fat to sit normal. I've been sitting like this for a minute.

There's Crazy Legs. He was next to me. He's the reason why I didn't finish last when I competed in the Nathans. He's not wearing pants. His leg is the least crazy thing on the park. What's his legs about? When I competed in the Nathans, he looked at me dead serious right before we competed.

I was like, good luck. And he was like, I'm going back in time. I'm going to eat one single hot dog. And then he just like, What do you mean back in time?

He transported in time and he ate one hot dog so I didn't finish last. Afterwards. No, he went back 100 years and ate, because it was the 100 year

anniversary I want to say. So what's going back in time got to do with any of that? He went back in time. Yep, there he is right next to me. Oh, the Peter Blood. Yeah, I got my Nate hat on. You're morazzing.

Does he have dreadlocks? Yeah, and he went back in time, and he ate one single hot dog. You're still losing. I am not following that. What is the back in time? What's that got to do with anything? He closed his eyes, and he said, this is the 100th year anniversary of this competition. I'm going to go back 100 years, teleport mentally, and eat a hot dog with the initial competitors.

Well, why would he only eat one hot dog? What would that do? I don't know. I was just happy he ate one hot dog because then I didn't finish last. Last in what? In the competition. When did he finish last in the competition? 100 years ago, though?

No, that's actually a good point. That's a fair point. Technically, he finished last in two competitions. He looks like the bad guy from Bad Boys 2. He looks like one of the counting crows. If you were competing with him, then you went back 100 years, too. No, I didn't. He did it himself.

He meditated and then ate one hot dog. But you beat him 100 years ago. I beat him present day. What? I guess he ate zero present day, so I beat him even better. Inflation. Don't you understand about this situation? 100 years ago.

It makes perfect sense. Wouldn't one hot dog win 100 years ago? No, I think the winner 100 years ago. Why would one win 100 years ago? No, I think the winner 100 years ago. Why would one win 100 years ago? I feel like one hot dog would just destroy someone's body. In 1920? They couldn't digest? They had fucking planes.

You just said it was 10. No, I don't know. I just made that up. I can look it up. You would assume it would be lower than it is today. I mean, Joey Chestnut has broken the matrix. Yeah. Sonia Thomas, the Black Widow.

Some respect to the women. How funny it would be if the first hot dog eating competition was just like one dude just ate. He was like, I want six today. Didn't you do like a strictly hot dog diet for a while yeah trying to get carmelo anthony to the bowls and you did the 24 that probably shaved to get like 10 years off your life oh yeah it was a very funny kfc radio episode where i was like yeah i'm just only eating a pack of hot dogs a day and they're like what yeah i was like what what there was a time when i was just sitting in my house blogging by myself with my own thoughts

and my dog. And so eating a pack of hot dogs a day was like normal. Were you doing them in the pan? I was doing them on a grill. Oh. That sounds pretty good. Buns too or no buns? No buns.

Only in Chicago. Keto. Keto. Keto. That is keto. The asshole of the pig is keto. But they looked it up and it was like like Kevin and Fights looked it up, and it was like the equivalent of smoking three packs a day.

Yeah, they say that hot dogs are worse than cigarettes. It's like three a year. Really? It was so bad. You could have eaten asbestos, and it would have been better. Asbestos. It was very bad. I was skinny, though.

I was skinny. That's good. Probably, yeah. They say keto is not good. No, I'm telling you I was. Yeah, skinny, though. I was skinny. That's good. Probably, yeah. They say keto is not good. No, I'm telling you I was. Yeah, no, I'm sure you were. Probably. Agree to disagree.

Yeah, you were probably skinny, like, under your terms. Oh, yeah. I ate 24. I don't like that image. Yeah, that's disgusting. Nor that. Liquorice. That was with Twizzlers, yeah.

Wait, what did you say about cutting sodium? Yeah, I was trying to cut the sodium because I was eating 24 in 24 hours. Twizzlers are a healthy. Oh, yeah. Twizzlers suck. That's some good shit there. It's like that video. You ever seen that video of those two girls and they're like really big and they're like,

they're like, mama says. What did she say? 13 hot dogs is the first winner. Okay. Yeah. I feel like I could slam 13. Do it tomorrow. Do it then, fat boy.

Yeah. Do it during the nut off. I'm cutting right now. They started over an argument about who is more patriotic. And it went, yeah. That makes sense. Are we at a time where hot dogs have got, like, I'm assuming the recipes changed. Have they gotten more unhealthy?

No. Or healthier? Healthier. Well, there's healthier versions now. There's more variety of hot dog. You can still get a very unhealthy one. Jesus. In Wisconsin, they are dead serious about hot dogs.

Or anything that you can put into a sausage. That's one thing I learned up there. Kielbasa. Polish sausage. I like that. That's more of a, it sounds like more of

a Chicago accent you got there. Wisconsin. Wisconsin. Because they're very close together. Brats. Brats.

Wisconsin. There's a guy on Vice who only has ever eaten mac and cheese. He's like 23 In his whole life Every meal I kind of like that He's probably going to live

A long time Yeah I bet he is He's like a Twinkie Yeah that fucking dude Who's Warren Buffet Super Size Me

Oh the Big Mac guy Yeah the Big Mac guy That's 30 days He was skinny No no no In Super Size Me He interviewed a guy Who has eaten a Big Mac every day.

He was oily, but he was healthy and skinny. He had a little bit of a KB shine to him. But he was very skinny. Not no. I thought you knew Spurlock. We've DM'd. Didn't he get canceled? He canceled himself.

For what? He was like, I just want to get out ahead of it. I have gaslit women before. And everyone's like, yeah, okay, fuck it. You're canceled too. See you, bro. Wait, you're the McDonald's guy? Yeah, I guess so. Okay, sure.

I love it when people get out in front of it. That's the mac and cheese guy. He's jacked. He looks like he's got Feidelberg muscles. What type is he? The same type? That's him. That's almost nothing.

Also, he's 22. He looks a good bit older. Yeah. And the nutritional value in mac and cheese, he will die. His shits must be like fruit by the foot. Fuck him. Fuck him. That's gross.

I don't want to say I'm addicted to mac and cheese because it sounds so weird. But my body won't let me eat anything else. I didn't choose to be like this. Born this way. His mom probably ate mac and cheese while she was pregnant. The video was portrayed to make him likable and wholesome.

He didn't get any flack for it. Anything that's not yellow, ooh. It's had a negative impact on his social life. He doesn't eat out and maintains few friendships. He wants that to change. His cum probably smells terrible. Is this like The Onion? No, I watched the video.

Why would you stop being friends with somebody like that? Like, okay, that's fine. Like, bro, you only eat mac and cheese. Probably gets in the way. I would imagine that being very annoying. How long would it take you to notice? That would annoy the fuck out of me. Would you notice by the third meal?

I hate picky eaters annoy the fuck out of me. I would notice by the second, I think. Do you think by the second? Is that back-to-back mac and cheese? Ordering mac and cheese at a restaurant is weird. Yeah, but how long could you be like, yeah, I'm just craving it? I don't think I know. I would notice.

It would take me like a few days to notice. Be like, wait. If someone did it twice in a row, I would say I would notice. No, he almost has to be like, oh, I made too much. I made too much. I got to eat it before it goes bad. But aren't you like. Oh, if you're out to eat.

Oh. Yeah. I'm an eater who like, if I find something that I like, I'll just hammer that restaurant. That is true. That's why I don't like it anymore. Right. So I can't eat Melt Shop anymore. It would have been easier in the Old West because he could just change towns every meal

and just move to another town. That's one of the few things that would be easier in the Old West. If you were to make a snack of cheese, you'd just go to the next town. That's the one thing I could think of. How many murders do you think you'd get away with in the Old West. If you're going to make this a mac and cheese, you just go to the next town. That's the one thing I could think of. How many murders do you think you get away with in the Old West? Not talking about like all of them. I think you just did it, right?

Yeah. You just did it? No, I think once you get to like three or four, you start to get a reputation for being the murdering guy. Ate the mac and cheese, but you killed the witness? Good people ask you to murder them. Me and Rob were just going beast mode at the gym together yesterday. No way. Same gym?

What gym? Yo, by the way, you want to hit up the gym together yesterday. No way. Same gym? What gym? Yo, by the way, you want to hit up the gym November 1st? My comeback. Yeah? Yeah. Going back. I'm getting back in shape. What gym?

I'm already back. Worst time of the year. Can you hook me up with like a big fitness guy? Yeah. Can you hook me up with like an Equinox membership? Who do you want? Jay Cutler. Jeff Cavalier.

Corey G? Maybe Corey G. He's the one who's been doing fights. Yeah, he helped me too. They've been really secretive about it. Yep, he helped me too. He's awesome. Okay.

Shout out Corey G. Do I have to see him physically? No, he'll just send you stuff. Oh, can I get that? Yes. Definitely. Not that I need it. Yeah, but we're about to get jacked.

I want to criticize it. Should we get some dumbbells in here? You can't get jacked, though, because then you're going to gain more weight. You need to get shredded. Yeah, you're right. I'm going to stop eating carbs. I'm going to start doing some body weight stuff. No, body weight squats?

Why don't we just wear sweatsuits for like a week? Why don't you just get one of those weighted vests and just wear that for like a month? I did that, and it fucked up my back when we started quarantine. Oh, yeah, that's not surprising. Rowan would see me walking around the neighborhood. I looked like a month. And it fucked up my back when we started quarantine. Oh, yeah. That's not surprising. Rowan would see me walking around the neighborhood. I looked like a cop. I had a weighted vest, and my mask was up, and it was like an American flag. Was there a raid on the building?

And I was just fucking. You're going to storm the Capitol? Come on. I'll see if I can find a pic. There's barrel roll in places. Just clearing the corners and shit. Clear. That's so funny.

Just like giving the eyes out of love to see that. No, this is before your ACAB ass came on the scene. Did you have sunglasses on too? Yeah, no, I'm going

to find a pick. I was basically a SWAT member. Like, gloves on. He had a 45 and another, an ankle unit as well. Rowan, I saw you riding the shit out of a city bike

yesterday. What? Really? Get out of Dumbo. I got to see the big cat. There he is. So funny. Get the fuck out of Brooklyn.

Both boys are flying. This is my borough. And that did nothing. It did nothing to help his boy out. Nothing. He just wanted to spend time with him. He's like, damn, I want to go in with my boy. Oh, Jesus, look at this.

Trying to spend some time in a paddy wagon. Dude, that was such a cop. Send it to... I can't believe I didn't get like fucking... Stolen. Yeah. Holy shit. I just walked for...

Excuse me, officer. What's the... A couple hours every day. Which way to the waterfront, officer? Because all the gyms were closed. And I was like, I'm not going to... I'm trying to get in shape.

It was brilliant. Well, until I hurt my back because I went up to like 80 pounds. Oh my God. Yeah, it was way too much. I didn't even know they made them that way. Dude, no, there were sandbags you could put in it. Yeah, you load ammunition into it. I kept unloading it. I'd come over to Roan's house

and I'd just be out of breath. He lives like two blocks away. Jesus Christ. 80 pounds is insane. Where is this? I'm sending it to I just sent it to Zahn. TJ. Oh my god. You're wearing a hat that says

M17. What is that? I don't know where I got that hat from. I just walk around the neighborhood like that. With a stroller and my dog. And just fucking protecting and serving everyone around me alcohol tobacco

and firearms yeah M17's a type of pistol yeah I don't know where I got that hat from but it was

I felt like it fit so I was like fuck it he's got a gun hat I got a gun hat bro's done chefed up some man for a nickel john

a nickel one I had another that was like even... From distance? I want to see one from distance real bad. I don't know if anyone got me from distance. Someone must have. I was looking badass. That's like a dude who doesn't have a BMW

wearing a BMW collared shirt or something like that. You having a gun hat? I know. I know. Just ultimate respect for guns yeah the utmost respect for bmw owners i don't have one but i've got the shirt fuck this one this one is here this is a little bit more normal but i still look like a dude who is like i look like a plain clothes cop or an undercover cop that like, all right, we're finally going to,

the investigation I've been working on for months, we're finally going to bust this guy. Yeah, you just get to go with all the rest of the squad. Yeah, it's 6-8. Like, I've been a desk guy, but it's like, hey, you finally caught this guy, so we're going to go bust him at 6 in the morning. We've got a shotgun for no reason.

Running in with a big- shotgun. A pump action shotgun. I'm going to bring back the vest. Fuck it. Yeah, bring back the vest. Why not? Just 40 pounds. It really did hurt my back. No 80 pounds. Not the whole vest. Just half the vest. I'd just be walking around huffing and puffing. Imagine, KB, if you did your 22 mile walks with a fucking weighted vest on.

What is that helping? Your legs. Yeah, why not? I would do squats every now and then. What is that noise? Your legs. Core strength. Your legs. Yeah, why not? I would do squats every now and then. What is that noise? I don't know. At-home workouts like that were the worst during quarantine. Yeah, they were.

Officer. Oh, no. That's the sexiest pic of you. Jesus. I look like I should make a viral TikTok. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. You could have definitely been like, hey, lady. Mr. Officer. Yeah.

You could have definitely been one of those, like, dudes who, like, do, like, self-defense tutorials who just have no idea what they're talking about. Fake cops. Yeah. Or, like, pulling somebody over, being like, I'm personal security. Yeah. You just went in front of that funeral procession. Give us your name and...

Oh, man. Have you seen that dude on TikTok Who does the self defense things No I've seen the guy who talks about being an alpha male Oh that guy's crazy He's like a Gary V of alpha males But he's a sigma male now

I believe he's ascended to sigma But he's getting flamed for shaving his cheeks He's afraid of his cheeks He's shaving himself a jawline Is that alpha M Alpha M getting flamed for shaving his cheeks. He's afraid of his cheeks. He's shaving himself a jawline. Is that Alpha M? Alpha M. I bought his products.

You bought Alpha M products? Teej Hanley. His Teej Hanley skincare routine. Do you know who we're talking about, TJ? He's the lamest dude. He's a good salesman. Yeah, he's a good salesman. He's the Ben Shapiro of like... Of men's grooming. Of men's grooming.

He's the dude. He's my guilty pleasure. His thumbnails are the best on YouTube. I saw him... His name is Owen Cook. This dude's crazy. I saw him being... Owen Cook self-help.

Owen Cook. What does he say? What was that one bit that's going viral right now? He's like, don't be a beta. Never be beta. Never be a beta. Oh, fuck. Don't be a beta.

Always be an alpha. And everyone's just like going crazy. Oh, that's Alpha M. But his hands are in his pockets. She left me. His hands are in his pockets while he says it. Whoa, number one weakness. Can we watch you?

You look gorgeous. No, he teaches you how to get women. Really? Oh, he's the best. What are we watch you? You look gorgeous. No, he teaches you how to get women. Really? Oh, he's the best. What are you doing differently? You look great. That's not his voice. Oh, yeah.

It's like a western. Badass date outfits. Mancare rules, bro. Look at his package. He posts every day. Every single day. He's running out of, he can't like have new things to say. Never wears this.

Can we do this? Can we start an Instagram maybe where we do motivational shit? Yeah. I think that would be very funny as a show. Yeah, that would be hilarious. The bank shit is actually going to real motivational accounts. Do you see that? Yeah.

There's a real motivational account that posted, like, I'll never see you at the bank. Like your video? No, just the words. Just the words. Just the script. Which, by the way, that's a really old thing. That song is coming out soon.

We're doing the music video next week. Oh, fuck. I forgot about that. Oh, yeah. Wednesday we're taping it. That could be really easy to do. If there's just a rotating cast of one of us to send me a video every morning, you can post it on our Instagram. But I think we need to find someone who's jacked and we just feed them terrible shit.

Or we just put pictures of other... We just steal pictures from people. Is there anyone in this office who's really jacked? Maybe. I'm honestly getting there. It's actually really pathetic when you think about it. Who's the strongest dude here?

Fights? Jetski? It can't be fights. Billy literally just came walking in. Who's the strongest dude here? Fights? Jetski? It can't be fights. Definitely some dude upstairs. Billy literally just came walking in. Does anyone have a six-pack? Someone upstairs. Six-pack is not strong, though.

We are. Actually, it's Tasty, Low-key, Kyle Mackey. Oh, yeah! Kyle Mackey shredded. Run up and prove it. Can you get Kyle real quick? Have him talk into that mic, Steven. Just have him stay on that side because we don't have room over here.

But we can, maybe he could. And then after that, go to Owen Cook self-help. We just need Kyle to give us his permission to post all of his pictures. Actually, if he just did like a full photo shoot for us, we could just repurpose him. Yeah, like Gaz is shredded. Every time. Yes, he is. He got shredded by Steven yesterday.

Put him in the body bag. Every time you walk into the gym, I want people saying, what's up, destroyer? Yeah. Fucks me up. Yeah, Gaz fucked you up. I don't know, Steven. All right, here's Kyle. Yeah.

Kyle, wait, can you hear us? A little bit. All right. Yeah. Kyle works at Barstool, been working at Barstool for a very long time, does a great job behind the scenes. Five years? Five years? Just past my fourth year.

Fourth year. Sorry about Clemson, by the way, Kyle. Yeah, tough loss. They suck. Can we use your body for a motivational Instagram page that we want to create? We realized that there's no – we were like, is there anybody that's in pretty good shape here? Anyone that's strong or has any kind of tone to their body? And we went through the whole office and we're like, Kyle does.

Kyle does. You're the only one. Yeah, you can use that. So I think what we need to do is just do a photo shoot at some point and then – Okay. We'll touch it up. We'll get the lighting right. We'll have everything looking we just want to

honestly some face tune yeah it's gonna be like we're gonna do like we're gonna get on our Gary V shit every day being like wake up at 6 in the morning

and crush that's how you become a man that type of shit but you just become the face of it and we can rotate like other guys like me or whoever else

alright perfect Kyle that sucks that there's just a more jacked Kyle thank you I didn sucks that there's just a more jacked Kyle. I didn't even think about that. A more jacked Kyle. We got to say the alpha Kyle. We'll call you MJK. Thank you, Kyle.

We'll be in touch. Thanks, Kyle. This is going to be great. MJK. Men only need 12 minutes of sleep at night. Hank tagged me in this one yesterday. It says, it's Keanu Reeves and it says my biggest flex is that nobody knows

what's going on in my life. Where I'm. Who I'm with. Where I'm. That's where I am. Where I'm. Who I'm with or my next move unless I make it known. Privacy is the only luxury. Privacy is peace.

Just no way that he said that ever I love that Something weird happened on the Barstool site Can we go to the BarstoolSports.com? What happened? Go to bloggers? This one's great What's happening here?

Something weird happened and I don't know why Go down to Kyle No, it's been like that Who did that? They know why. Go down to Kyle. No, it's been like that. I know. How is it? Why? Who did that? They know you've been down bad. Oh, no. Fuck you, Nick. I didn't do that.

Who did that? I don't know how to do that. Former Kent State scholar. That's an oxymoron. Get that out of here. You worked your whole life to be up on that site. Sit down. Sit back down.

I'll have you a beer. Only Fitzsimmons has access to that. Fitzsimmons is running fucking. Who told Fitzsimmons to do that? I have no idea. It's kind of funny. That's hilarious. He's goofing on you hard.

He's not a free agent, though. Damn. Please, own Cook self-help. Please, own Cook self-help. Just give us a little bit of self-help from... I don't know how he even gets people to self-help with him. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-doo. Skiddly-dee.

Oh, he gave you the backhanded flip off. He flipped you off. Me lady? He definitely says me lady. I'm about to go nibble on someone's ear. Hello, me lady. I'm in the mirror. It's called reticular activation system.

Yeah. The core of most of humanity's problems. RAS. What's that mean? Let's do it. First of all, we have this thing called RAS. You've heard me talk about it before.

And if you haven't Google it now, every human in the world needs to spend a couple months contemplating RAS. If you haven't spent a couple months contemplating RAS, you're in trouble. Deep, deep trouble. Oh, no. RAS is selective focus. Basically what you have, say you go to court. Each person has a different opinion.

Why do they have a different opinion? They saw the same thing. Why have they got a different opinion? Why? See, we pause it. Every one of you here. Gay myth buster. We need to do this and just have hyper, hyper specific examples of a successful person,

but it's just attributes of a non-successful person. Say you go to court. You haven't been paying your child support. Okay? You wake up when you go to court. You haven't been paying your child support. Okay? You wake up when you want to every single day. Like your parole, you haven't checked in

with your parole officer. Okay? This is hypothetical. That's how he talks. It's just like, yeah. It's just a very like... You're riding on a motorcycle that you stole.

Yeah, you got your shit together but your entire life is just crumbled. Okay, RAS. Let's make that account too. What is RAS? No one has any idea. Reticular something.

Reticular. Pull up the beta one. His one video was like, Reticular activating system. What? Reticular activating system? It's like a focus thing. The problem is,

and I just want to say this up front before we delve into this stuff, is there's a chance that someone in this room will actually get addicted into this stuff is there's a chance that someone in this room will actually get addicted on this stuff. Yeah. Who's trying to be Alpha? Who? Kyle.

Me? Probably you. Kyle. I just need myself. Imagine if we just dive into this world in full irony. KB just gets spit out as just the new Gary world. I think we can turn them out. KB just gets spit out as just the new Gary V. The Joker.

I know we've been joking about this, guys, but they're making a lot of sense. It's like the easiest thing to ironically make fun of. Yes. Because they're all like, most of them have no idea what they're talking about.

It's crazy how little self-awareness they have for the people that are so successful. The craziest, the best ones are passive income. They all just found out what passive income is. What, your money making money? And there'll be like a 16-year-old kid and he'll be like, you need to figure out how to make money while you're asleep. But they don't have any ways to make money while you're asleep. That's just like something that they thought of.

It's Bitcoin, say. Or like sneaker resale. They're only all just reselling sneakers yes every single one ps5s it's like it's easy to to like yeah it would be ideal to make money while you're asleep literally bitcoin yeah it's the only thing the only thing is investments there's a bitcoin uh or there's an nft convention in town next week I'm trying to roll through and just see if anybody will admit to having lost money on Bitcoin. Yeah. Will one person, one single person, say that they lost money?

One person. Maybe not, but you should ask about other shit, like NFTs. NFTs. Has anyone lost any money on any NFTs or any other cryptocurrencies? Someone's got to hold the bag. One person has to stand up and say that they lost money. I mean, someone has to be getting fucked on those things

Nobody is Everybody has become massively rich The thing I don't understand I don't understand how it works Because it's like I've never That's a big thing I've always thought it was so stupid

The one part of this that I don't get is all of it. But it's like, so you take a picture. Have Jack Mack explain it to us. Like, you take a picture. Does Jack Mack know? Definitely. Yeah, he definitely knows. All right, have him come in there.

Have him explain Bitcoin. Like, you take a picture of something. He's a Bitcoin guy, not an NFT guy. And then, like, a month later, it's worth a trillion dollars. Does anyone buy that, though? Like, who's buying? You don't get the money until someone buys it, right? I thought Spider was...

We have no idea. Top Shot. He was. That's dead. Well, you transitioned. Is Top Shot dead? It's just like... Someone made a shitload of money off Top Shot.

Are you into Top Shot? Not really. You only do Bitcoin? I'm a fan of Ethereum too. Link. Chainlink specifically. How much Bitcoin do you have? Not enough.

What is that? Explain it to Sash. Sash wants to know what Bitcoin is. No, I know what Bitcoin is. I want to know what NFTs are. Are the NFTs? Yeah. Who's getting fucked?

Someone's got to be getting fucked. Put out the principle that he's going to go to this NFT convention. All right, so the NFTs. Right. Not everyone can make money. NFTs are a lot like the shit coins. Remember, right now we're seeing, I'm sure you saw. Shibinu.

The Shibinu. A lot of people are going to get fucked by that. We saw a lot of people get fucked by Doge a little bit. NFTs are a lot of people get fucked uh by doge a little bit um nfts are a lot like that i would say unless you're paying a large sum of money for nfts such as like crypto punks i wouldn't go in the nfts unless you could create an nft community that would do really well oh actually everybody here could the yak could we should yak n Yak NFT community? We just need to illustrate like a face or something like that and have like goofy variations.

Can we sell these behind us? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like... One of ones? And then like you guys create a Discord. That's where a lot of big things happen in the NFT-verse.

And if you have a strong community and essentially influencers, which all of you guys are, it would work. But a lot of people are going to get fucked by NFTs. So I don't want to do that if we're going to fuck. You could, though. But they would get fucked. You guys couldn't.

But you two could get a CryptoPunk, which is a lot of money. Nothing against your guys' finances. I just assume you guys don't have a lot of money. Oh, we're done. None. Virtually none. But crypto, there's a lot of... Real or fake don't have a lot of money none yeah virtually none but but crypto like there's a lot of fake yeah it's a lot like art it's like a lot like art you should think of it like there we go here's crypto punks it's a lot like art where only the top top tier makes a

lot of money okay but then there's a lot of other shit, but not so much. How much is that one right there? 3D glass of cigarette? Average price? 7.05 ETH, so that's like $25,000. What am I looking at? Okay, but my thing is that I don't know. What the fuck am I looking at? What is that?

Well, that's, yeah. I don't know what makes, like, I don't know what, by looking at the is that well that's yeah i don't know what makes like i don't know what that's by looking at the art makes it valuable but like uh that's a relatively cheap crypto punk 25 000 ish but like yeah you don't get the money though until someone buys it right yeah it's like art like if you who's buying that for 25 000 collectors well collectors yeah and it's like another place to store your value, like your assets. Yeah. Like, I mean, if you walked into a really rich person's apartment and they had sick art, you may not get it.

But there's people out there that agree, no, that art piece is worth $800,000 because an art dealer or appraiser says it is. But it's locked to your phone. That's what I don't understand. Yes, but think about it. Think about everything. Everything's on your phone now. You could just take a screenshot of it. You could just take a screenshot of it,

but you could take a photo of it. The art for your home is decor. But it's completely removed the appreciation from it, so it's not like you take a screenshot of the painting because you like how it looks. You only are holding it as an asset. You're not appreciating it. It's not to look at or be seen.

It's to be a valuable thing. Yeah, I i get it but digital ownership is just an idea correct but ownership as a whole is just an idea if you think about it yo not if it's something physical i mean i guess like if you own the mona lisa let's just say you own it okay you didn't create it no but i own it yeah but you own it but i own my my crypto punk i don No, but I own it. Yeah, but you own it. But I own my CryptoPunk. I don't have one. I wish I did. I'd be like... Then I'll just...

There's no variation. I could screenshot it, and I'd have the exact thing you have. Yeah, but I could get somebody who's really good at painting the Mona Lisa, and they would have the exact same thing. But it has historical value and is by a renowned artist. Yeah, correct. And that's where a lot of its value lies all of yes yes now that would be like that's why the mona lisa's what how much like 100 million

like priceless priceless crypto punks are like still like i mean they don't really get more than i think like a million dollars or so jesus christ but like, like, I would say, like, if. Artists should never be rich. I don't really. Get a job. But I think you guys could create an NFT universe. I'm just, like, I guess I'm just confused. Like, everyone's, like, making all this money off of it and everything. You know what you sound like?

You sound like, like, let's say I'm, like, an old school comedian that's in a stand-up club all the time. And then, like, you come up out of nowhere. It's like, what's say I'm like an old school comedian that's in a stand-up club all the time. And then you come up out of nowhere. It's like, what's so funny about him? Because the internet gets it. The internet approves you, right? So I get the CryptoPunk. Those are cool. And I get that people want to buy those.

So obviously it's like everyone's trying to hop in on NFTs. Are they selling their own NFTs? Are they buying them? Yeah, there's a lot of nonsense NFTs. It's like like anything it's like how you could create your own crypto money for the marketplace you buy and sell it yes you how do they make money from that well you take a percentage of every like you create them and then you essentially release them like a hundred of them or something like a hundred crypto punks And then for whatever reason, maybe in your Yak universe, there's certain little things. Like look at

Tommy has his own crypto. These are NFTs. How much is he making off these? Not a lot. Well, it's $50 though. But I think it's kind of smart. If Tommy does eventually become really really famous. He's made four

figures from this. Who's purchased these? Hasn't Buddha Ben bought every single one of them? What? Hasn't Buddha Ben bought every single one? So then like let's say – Well, Tommy has the luxury of looking like abstract art. Yeah, yeah.

That's very true. But so like Tommy punched him and then he gets – I don't know if he gets a percentage of every residual sale, but he puts it up and then someone buys it for like – My god. Does he do it every single day? He does it every day for like months. So this is how easy it is to create something. But then you guys could release $100 and then like –

Wait, that one's $420? Or no, that's not – is that not – That's like when it's on sale. Where was it? Well, someone like – it's on sale. Where was it? Well, someone like, you set the price. So somebody's only selling that for 25,000 ETH, which would be, jeez. This is $41 million. Wait, but what if I did, so if I created this account and I just took a picture of Tommy.

That's for sale for $41 million. Could I put a picture of Tommy up every day? Yes. If I took a picture of him and cut his whole industry. You could cut his whole industry. I don't care about making money. I want to fuck him over.

Yeah, you can. So you could do that, yeah. Tommy collection by Big Cat. I'm going to go take a picture of him right now. Just be like, nope, don't worry about it. And then go and open.

See, it's very easy. It's almost like signing up for anything. Tommy looks like a Modigliani painting. Does anyone? I'm in. Oh, shit. Tommy looks like a Modigliani painting. Does anyone? I'm in. Oh, shit.

There's a Destroyer. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. He's going to New Orleans for Halloween. Destroyer, I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll show you. Can we play that one more time? Yeah, let's end the show on that.

Thank you, Jack Mack. Thanks, Jack Mack. I mean, you provided me with very good information because now I'm going to fuck Tommy over. Yeah, that's the goal. Don't get the Destroyer in here. No. No, don't. Oh, no. Did he see us?

He's right behind me. Alright, yeah, let's end with the Destroyer. Let's play one more time. Brandon, you're eating again? You're always eating. Every day with you. You fucking eat all the time. I love Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets.

That's his nun costume. Oh, wow. Is that me? Oh, I was fucked up that night. What are those glasses, man? I walk in casino poker rooms around the country and people say, like, what's up, Destroyer? They do.

That's a real thing. I mean, online. The return of the Destroyer. I'm 2 for 5 in the main. I'm going to show you something in the World Series main. I'm going to show you something. Damn. I'm going to show you something. Small line poker night.

Maybe they'll limp too. Maybe we could get his limp through the floor. Or like the home run. All right, so you guys doing a nut off tomorrow for real? I guess not. Pat's here. He's in. He's not going to be here.

It's not a nut off. Maurice can't be here. Maurice lives in New York. You got chicken in your throat. Yeah, you got to. Don't talk about that. It's not like KB at the start of the show. Yeah, you do. Doesn't even have chicken in your throat. Yeah, you got to. Don't talk about that. It's not like KB at the start of the show. Yeah, you do.

Doesn't even have chicken in your throat. Yeah, you do right now. I don't have chicken in my throat. You got throat in your chicken. Are you really having a nut off? I'm not going to be here? Look at those calves. If Ruiz can get out of town, I'd feel bad to cancel.

He's training in. But no, you don't have to be here. You could get Ruiz on like a work release or something like that. Is he actually in prison? Yes. He lives in New York. Yes. Rikers Island is in New York.

Yeah. Man, stop looking, Vince. Is he looking? He was just looking. Zoom him on in. See if he looks again. Oh, there it is. Zoom.

When he looks, we end the show. Yep, that's how we do it. Oh, God. It's all on. Get ready to cut the show the minute he looks. The second he looks, we end it. He's going to look right in the camera. Or the TV.

The Destroyer. What's going on in that mind right now? You think it's just like... I think it's like a symbol monkey. Yeah, and he's just going, Sup, fellas? Sup, fellas? Did he drop the Sup, fellas?

Ole Miss is going to fuck them up. Did he drop Sup, fellas? I like Ole Miss. Did he still do Afternoon Mints? Oh, man. They dropped that. After Dinner Mints. He's just chatting it up right now.

Oh, we almost got a bulge watch on the security guard. Oh, boy. Bold lips on that one. Mincy, what are you doing? If he's engaged in conversation, this could take hours. We could be here for another four hours if Mincy's talking it up. Oh, he's not thrilled. Got one higher, bro.

Delayed reaction. It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankee pop It's the act It's the act you