The Yak - Office Security Cameras Caught Jerry in His Birthday Suit? | The Yak 8-2-24

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Danny Conrad is back and he's roasting BrandonYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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If you're looking for this show to get you through your Friday, sorry. Exit out now. Get to work. Be productive. Yeah. This is pretty much it. Big Cat is coming, though, right? Yeah, Big Cat's coming.

We're here with comic Dan Dries, though. I sat him all the way over there thinking there would be other people. Yeah, this is very job interview style. This is hazing. This is like when Anakin was before the Jedi Council. That was hazing? Yeah. He wasn't by himself on one side, though.

I thought he was just in the middle, right? With Obi-Wan? Did he have a Jedi, like, some sort of apprenticeship? He wasn't by himself on one side, though. I thought he was just in the middle, right? With Obi-Wan? Did he have a Jedi, like, some sort of apprenticeship? He wasn't. Yeah, he was a Padawan. Yes. He was in the round. They were all angles.

He had the best. No, it doesn't matter. So we made him be nerdy immediately. Yeah. Welcome. Great start. I like starting in the hole. That's good. Dan has been ever gracious to uh open for all of the

barstool comics at the barstool show because if we cold opened it would be horrible yeah yeah yeah he tells jokes gets the gets the audience used to it he gets he gets the crowd uh familiar with the feeling of laughter because if not they would never experience that sensation hey dan dan who's this fuck that's dan that's also that's dan oh fuck you guys already replaced me yeah so we were thinking about uh i look like i could fit inside you no wait wait what's happening what did you just do no this isn't this isn't anything because that's kate that's titus that's mook that's kyle and this is you this is you but you know he's way too close to us. Kyle, Mook, Ty.

I think it all moved this way. Where's KB? No idea. What's up, Dan? What's up, dude? How's it going? Good. How are you?

Doing good. Feeling great today, I'm sure. Me? Oh, the fall. Oh, for the Bears. Yeah. Yeah, we did win. It didn't count.

Yeah, the fall was bad. It looked bad. How's your back? You're doing okay? Bad. That's one of those ones It didn't count. Yeah, the fall was bad. It looked bad. How's your back? Bad. That's one of those ones where you're how old? 39. I don't know why. You may carry that with you forever.

Oh, he will carry that. The scars of that tumble? There's KB. You woke up with a bad back after hurting yourself and went and played golf? Yeah, and let's just say I got got. I shouldn't have played golf this morning. I played nine holes, and Hank took $1,500 off me. So I'm never going back to that place.

It's his golf course. Yeah. He robbed me. $1,500? I lost every hole. Oh, my God. It was me and Jerry scrambling against him and his friend, and they just they just

killed us they know the two members of this golf club we just lost every hole did you blame it on your fall your performance no i blamed it on hank trying to he ran a sting operation he's been begging me to come out and play and then he was just like yeah let's do a friday let's do a friday he just wanted some cash to go you know hang out but yeah the fall was bad do you realize what's going on right now what three dan show yeah loading up three dan show oh yeah oh the scariest part oh that's a hard fall that could be an arm break i almost did break my wrist if i'd fallen the first time i caught myself it looks like it bends weird but then you're also close to the corner of the wall yeah yeah that gritting of the teeth is real right after you hit it.

It was really bad. And then I have an extended cut. I don't know if you can show. Can you show ass on YouTube? Why not? TJ's not here. Oh, it's Lucas. Yeah, we can blame Lucas.

Lucas' perverted ass will show anything. Can you show ass from like a distance? Basically is showing it every day. How far do you have to be to show ass on YouTube? Show us some ass, Lucas. Maybe text TJ? I you have to be to show ass on youtube show us some ass lucas maybe text tj i don't think we could show ass but if it's like really far not being prude some ass is an ass regardless how far no because at a certain point it just becomes a blur yeah that's you're wrong about that yeah fuzzy ass is an ass two inches from my face versus an ass 200 yards from my face,

that's not the same ass. But it's Jerry's ass, so there's a lot of it. Does he have a lot of ass? I guess. I thought he didn't have a lot of ass. I think he just whittles down. His body whittles down. Okay, well, what's on the line here?

Nothing. Literally nothing. Let's just play the video. You want to show Jerry's ass? I'll tell you when to stop before the ass. Show it, show it. All right, Lucas, I'm going to text you this. I'll tell you when to stop before they ask. Yeah, show it, show it. All right, Lucas, I'm going to text you this. I'll tell you when to stop before they ask.

So I come out. I almost break my tailbone. And I come out of the room. And Jerry's just naked. He just started to change without knowing where his boxers are. He's just standing there naked. In the hallway. In the hallway.

In the hallway. Where there's cameras everywhere. Yes. Do we have footage of Jerry's's peener just his ass he had he had a he had a towel in front of him but then he turned around and it was just ass how did the towel only cover the front so no wrap towel just hanging you'll see your mouth i i tweeted it right away and people of course the chat was so ruthless to us last night they're like it's a fake fall um you wouldn't fall there yeah right it wasn't in front of any cameras. It was security

footage. So look, do you see Jerry in the background? He takes off his... Oh, Jerry! He's just got nothing on. Jerry! Wait, he's got something on right now. Yeah. And then he starts changing, but then he couldn't find his boxers. And he's just got... He's just naked

in the hallway. Gotta let the boys breathe sometimes. He waited for the split second for the guys to turn the corner. It was just chaos. I walked out. I was like, Jerry, what are you doing? He doesn't show ass yet, I don't think. Just go real slow.

Look, yeah, he covers up. Well, kind of. He's just changing it the whole way. i think there might be dick in the stand he looks like a fertility statue it was wild scene people fall and people change and people come in and out of the doors it's like a scooby-doo hallway wait lucas can we go back to how much time between the last man turning the corner to Jerry getting naked? It was instant. Oh, man. Yeah, I crawled in.

So there goes. Okay. As soon as Jacob. Now he's out. He's prepping. Just shut the door. Yeah. There we go.

And now we're leaving. See. Not even going yet. Not even going yet. Not even going yet. Oh, that's incredible. Yeah, and so that was one of those moments where I tweeted it and, like, you know, everyone's like, you're just making this up. I think my exact tweet was I just took the hardest fall ever and I come out and Jerry's naked. Everyone's like, you're fucking with me.

Like, this is bullshit. That's exactly what happened. The head pounce makes it real. Your head off the wall. Almost off the wall. Yeah, right. And yeah, shout out Jacob. He was running down the hall to try to do, I don't know what he was going to do.

He was going to beat up the water. Yeah, he's going to be the slip. He had your back. Yeah. You need mouth to mouth, big head. Yeah. But yeah, it was a chaotic scene here last night. That's for sure.

It's tough to fake a fall because they look very fake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, again, if I was going to fake a fall, I do it like on camera. Not. I didn't even know we had a security camera back there. Yeah.

In that hallway. Also, I should say, shout stephanie she did a great job with the stream last night she was maybe 10 feet away from naked jerry on the other side of the wall that was one of those moments where i got back in i was like wait we do have a woman here yeah don't just get naked in the hallway did you know that was happening stephanie i mean i guess you have every single camera angle should have thrown the blindfold on stuff i did not i didn't see jerry what actually scared me the most was hank and i heard big cat fall oh and we both looked at each other like what was that noise so that was the scariest part and then i had no idea about jerry until dan said something okay yeah

and fall hurt a lot i woke up and i was in a lot of pain you have a bruise back there i didn't even check but i just like i woke up and like my whole body well let's let's let's see let's see your lower back no it's fine how many times do you think you've been close to a naked man without knowing oh i almost certainly always know you always? When do naked men just sneak up on you? You ever been snuck up on by a naked man? No but I The gym? I'm very liberal with changing in the PMT studio

Which has a lot of cameras I've changed in the hallway Yeah Because I changed in the hallway yesterday After the cold plunge Because I felt weird going in the bathroom With my bare feet Yeah

Can we start a Can we start a Barstool OnlyFans account and we just put the security footage of accidentally showing ass on it? Yeah. Big T. Big T showering. Yeah, Big T showering. Yeah, there's probably more naked footage than we would realize around here. Have you been naked in this office?

Oh, yeah. Me too. I've been naked in my studio all the time. Danny? Yeah, I think you have already. Yeah. I mean, first thing I did when I got here. Yeah. Wait, so Dan, did everyone introduce you yeah yeah so everybody you you

you work you're a comedian right yeah yeah and you opened uh for have you done the shows with the yeah everyone okay nice so he can give a comprehensive ranking yeah oh well no you didn't do the show i did no i haven't done all of them oh okay i thought you've done i think i got the belt i think i've done the most of them yes okay yeah wait baiter hasn't no baiter's out on me for sure all right so there goes the belt yeah one second he's done the second most maybe it goes on the board so let's blind rank have you ever seen those tiktoks where somebody's face pops up on your head and you have to rank them one to five? Yeah, absolutely.

I'm going to say a name, and you blind rank them. All right. Five total. Ben Mintz. Ben Mintz is three. Okay. Oh. Solid.

Brandon Walker. Two. Not because he's right here right now. What was that face for? Motherfucking two. Steven Chey. You're not going to like this. Steven Chey's one.

No fucking chance. Is that because he wasn't nervous? No chance. His joke sucked. Wait, are you rating the host's performances or the overall show? Performance. It's within the curve of the show. The host's individual performance?

Yes. You're out of your goddamn mind. Chey killed it. The host's individual performance? Yes. You're out of your goddamn mind. Che killed it. Top two, not two, bitch. Look what you did. All right, so that means look at what you did. One, two, and four. Yeah, we got too many Dan's here.

White Sox Dave. I feel that. Five. Six, if possible. He asked me for advice beforehand and then argued with me about the advice he would not listen to he was like should i go out and talk to everyone right before the show and it's like no absolutely not i think i'm gonna so danny uh is like speaks fluent white socks dave he's probably the closest to him and they have like all time what are some of your

all-time fights that you've had with white socks dave because it's one of my favorite relationships that doesn't get enough shine um i know i talked about this before but one of the most mad i've seen was when he you know the old trick uh smell this cake it smells weird yeah he had never heard of that joke before so i did it to him and like he was going in for it and i was like okay it's just for the camera i'm not going to do it but then he kept going in for it i'm like oh he's going along with the bit and so i did it and he in fact was not going along with the bit he actually thought the cake smelled weird and he got really mad he wanted to kill me um let's see what else we got a lot is just dave basically not uh like whenever we show him concrete evidence of something he did

and denies it that will get me every time he's like how do you how do you go against that um what else do we got here the we had a fight outside of uh quiznos in old town because someone had paid him to try their lobster roll and he was demanding the money before he ate it no i was like that's not how bets work he's like what are you roll, and he was demanding the money before he ate it? No. And I was like, that's not how bets work. He's like, what are you talking about? And he compared it to like a sports book. You pay the money first, right? I was like, this is like a handshake.

So yeah, just to name a few. Yeah. But wait, the bet was for him, you just had to have him eat the lobster roll, and then he got the money? Yeah. But he didn't eat it. He wanted the money first. So then he just refused the bet?

He did eat it. Okay. Yeah. Did he get the money? Yeah. Okay. The cake thing, was that for that Thanksgiving shoot? Yeah, Stephen was there as well.

So that was like just an ad shoot for, I don't even know if that was going on a video or like a social thing, but it was like, they ordered all this food or whatever. And so Danny did that to start. And then White Sox, they just would not stop throwing food for the next 30 minutes. So the point where you need to be talked to by several people and be like, chill the fuck out, we're doing an ad. Yeah. It seems like every incident is Dave yelling and being angry

and the other person not so much. And there's something about Danny that makes Dave extra angry. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Has Dave ever been screamed at and forced into submission? Oh. The basketball challenge when he said he could, any point guard position at the Barstool office could not so much as get three points on him, and he challenged Jack McCarthy,

and Jack got it in three out of four turns. That kind of neutered him, to be honest. But like in an argument it's always dave screaming yelling uh being aloof he'll like whittle it down to the point where he's not saying that he's wrong i'm trying to think of has anyone ever came at him harder with louder talk has he ever been disarmed by volume yes oh i don't think no yeah good question no It just doesn't work that way. Che would be a good matchup against White Sox. Yeah. That's like the welterweight of brain competition.

They don't speak the same language. Who's the angriest dude you guys know? Oh. Who's the angriest person at this office? Brandon plays it up. Yeah, Brandon does. But he's soft. I don't think he's angry no he can get angry t might be a little angry he's a big t a little sir i'm not saying he's too angry

it's white socks dave it is white socks dave clemmer oh my god yeah yeah he is he's got anger to him clemmer's in a current state of like the wind knocking open his briefcase and losing files. Just like, ugh. Yeah, flustered in anger. Billy football? Yeah, oh, Billy football's got real anger. His might be stupor. Yeah, he gets angry

though. He's got, I mean, he got like he stepped to PFT that one time. Like legitimately stepped to it. He steps to it, yeah. Yeah, being like, let's fight in the studio. He blows up. He reaches a boiling point. Yeah, there's been multiple times where I think Billy has wanted to fist fight, like, me, PFT, and Hank.

And the only thing that stopped him is, like, he would be fired. We'd be remiss not to mention Rico. Rico. Oh, yeah. Anger kid. Yeah. He does anger. I haven't experienced one person express an iota of anger in Chicago since I moved here in public.

Midwest Manners. Hmm. No. Not once. Brandon and I have had it out a couple times. Not even someone make a face. If you drive, you'll get a honk yeah a good car is a different ball game um but we always settle it quickly within the within like

five minutes it's like yell yell yell okay let's talk okay we're good yeah but i feel like you guys when you argue it's never come to saying sorry what do you mean you find a middle ground oh yeah we always do yeah and it's almost instant yeah we never go to sleep angry oh god we've never how could you yeah we don't leave the room angry we don't leave the room angry yeah we go to the room and then we come back we walk better people we walked off the basketball court yelling at full throat yelling everyone and by the time we got to mostly sports we were cool mostly sports is 25 feet away yeah Yeah. And then we're like Superman. We came out and we were fine. Yeah. And, Dan, are you from Chicago?

I grew up in Cincinnati, but I've been here for a while now. Skyline? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's... Well, no. All right. Everybody's faking it. What Skyline are you going?

Are you going with the noodles or the conies? It all sucks. All right. I'm not going to argue with that. All right. Why'd you ask? Because the conies are easily the better one. The are too much it's a weird yeah it shouldn't be spicy and sweet it's every temperature i just don't understand the one thing about skyline and everyone has their

own taste i personally like chili just for chili and pasta just for pasta like i like them separated the thing i'll never understand about the city of Cincinnati, there are people who leave their job, go eat a big pile of spicy spaghetti with pasta, and then go sit back at their job. Yes. That's insanity to me. Skyline lunch is one of the most insane things I can ever comprehend.

No, no, it's good. It's the same as doing, like, an Italian beef lunch here. Yeah, it's punting the rest of the day. Yeah, it ruins the rest of your day. Yeah, your day is, you're like, I'm going to clear my schedule. I'm having a beef for lunch. That's it. That's it, yeah.

Yeah. It is gross. Yeah. Yeah, the heavy lunch. But if you're going back to work, then you have an excuse to be on the toilet more. True. Do you want one? What?

An excuse to be on the toilet more? Well, not at this job. You can lie about shitting at an office job rather than actually having to do it. Right. So, and do you stand with the city of Cincinnati for what they did to Harambe? Wow. Ooh. I mean.

Oh, wow. I don't know. The day after I went to like this Italian barber shop near where I used to live, and the guy was like all in my ear about, he's like, you know, they shot this gorilla. I go, yeah, you know, but I mean, I was just trying to be political. I was like, you know, but I mean, imagine how bad it would have been if that gorilla got a hold of that kid and his eyes got really big and he screamed at all the other guys in the barbershop because this guy just said what if he killed them i was like all right i guess i'm from now on i have to say it's good

we killed harambe that's why the city divided yeah i mean they shouldn't have killed harambe. A city divided. Yeah. I mean, they shouldn't have killed Harambe. What's Barstool without Harambe, though? Oh, Harambe made us so much money. They're super litigious, though, now with Harambe. Like, if you post a Harambe picture, like, they'll sue you. No way. It's like the Olympics. Yeah, it's nuts.

There's like one you can use. Did the Cincinnati Zoo also have the baby hippo? They were churning out viral legend. What was the baby hippo? Oh, Charlotte? No, that's the stingray. She died? She died.

Died. Is the Cincinnati Zoo like Hollywood for zoo animals? It's huge. It's a big. It's like one of the best in the world. I would blind guess top five zoo in the country. Yeah. San Diego's number one.

Do we have a ranking, Lucas? I bet you Columbus, San Diego. Mm-hmm. Oh, you think Columbus? That's Jack Hanna's. I think Memphis is good. San Diego's got to be one. San Diego.

San Diego's insane. Don't Embry. Why are we saying that? Because of the species they have or how big the zoo is? I think it's size and also the weather they are allowed to have a shitload more. That's just Montana. They just don't even have fences. Yeah, that's just the state allowed to have a shitload more. That's just Montana. They just don't even have fences.

Yeah, that's just the state of Montana. No way. St. Louis? Let's go. You're about to be. Oh, we beat San Diego. Bullshit. Wait, you don't even know if you're top ten. I have faith.

It might be number one. New Orleans? Okay. How is San Diego not one? Tigers are sick. Melbourne, Florida. Columbus is good, too, I think. Damn good.

Okay. Colorado Springs. Running out of spots over there. I'm getting a little anxious. Yeah. I think you might get that. Oh, that would be sick. Wow.

What if you're not even top ten? I mean, if you're going to Hawaii. Oh, boy. Now they're doing like wild. This might be it. This might be it. This is it. This is it.

Oh, yeah. All right. What's one? Columbus, right? I don't know. Does Ohio have one in two of the zoos? That's worse. No, come on, T.

What are you doing, Lucas? Omaha. Oh, it's Lucas. Oh, my God. Omaha? That's Omaha? Oh, they got a great zoo, yeah. Fuck.

Everybody's at the zoo. When you go to the College World Series, everybody says, I went to the zoo today. I never thought about going to the zoo. Every zoo I go to, I'm like, this is the best zoo in the zoo. When you go to the College World Series, everybody says, I went to the zoo today. I never thought about going to the zoo. Every zoo I go to, I'm like, this is the best zoo in the world. Oh, then you've never been to the Bronx Zoo. Oh, Bronx? Yeah, we have. I love to... Is it Brooklyn? There's one that sucks.

Central Park sucks. Oh, Central Park sucks. Central Park is the one I'm thinking of. That one sucks. Did Bronx kill something, too? Did they kill a gorilla? It was an owl, I think. No, the owl was actually a sex pest. He was raping pigeons. No, he was eating pigeons.

He was eating maybe both? Maybe both. Ooh. And then all the fucking weirdos did a memorial for the owl. Yeah. Which is just- Are you saying the owl is a bad, bad creature? Owls are good creatures.

They found pigeon blood in the owl. Is that a moral decision? He had pigeon esters. They're a predatory bird. He was raping pigeons. He wasn't raping. He was eating them. He might have been raping.

You never know. Yeah, I remember Kelly had a mental breakdown when that owl died. But that wasn't a zoo owl, right? That was a wild owl. No, it was a wild flaco. Yeah. And that fucking idiot, he just flew into a building. That's what did it?

Yeah. How do we know it wasn't consensual? The buildings? No, no. The pigeons? The pigeons and owls? Pigeons aren't smart enough. Right.

To give consent. And that's also, that's like a power thing. That's like a boss and an employee. That could be like, you be like BBC for the pigeons. I don't know. The news station? Yeah, I guess owls are wise. They had like a whole memorial for the owl.

Yeah, that's New York though. That doesn't count as real life. I guess we did, but we did it ironically for Harambe. I just never understood like an animal like that dying and like i guess people just act weird for animals people die all the time and it's like we're doing this for an animal i wasn't a fan of flack of the owl number two what's your favorite animal ever what's your favorite like not, not species, but animal, like, character? Individual animal? Individual animal. Bird, I love.

No, no, no. The actual animal. Like Flacco or Harambe. Oh. And you just said bird. Mm-hmm. There was a deer that, I don't know if you remember, Danny Derrick, the deer, I named him. It was a deer That got caught on a

Pond In Chicago it was probably up by you Well we have lakes but yeah I like watched it all live And they tried to save it and he died I named him Derrick and I did like A whole live like blogging Like manhunt of it

It was right after the manhunt how did it end I think he died and I had a memorial service for him. So I guess I am a hypocrite. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. There was that, and I was getting really into police radar stuff. I was listening to the... What's it called? Scanner.

And then there was also an upside-down horse in California that I listened to. What do you mean upside-down? The horse fell in a hole. Oh, upside down. What happened to it? I think he might have died. I was big on this. Upside down horse never ends well.

I was just listening for accidents with animals. Wait, can we look up the upside down horse? Yeah, it was Derek the deer, he was on the lake and WGN had a fucking helicopter out there. They were trying to rescue the deer off the deer. He was on the lake, and WGN had a fucking helicopter out there. They were trying to rescue the deer off the lake. Was he in the ice?

It was thin ice. He fell in, and they had like an open- Oh, okay. Now I remember it. The way you were talking, I was like he was just out in the pond chilling on a bass boat or something. Oh, and I'll try to find a video of it, Lucas. So I guess that would be my favorite.

What's your guy's favorite? Mr. Ed. Oh. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, your guy's favorite? Mr. Ed. Oh. Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah, a guy played baseball. For God's sakes. Were you guys here when there was the alligator that was loose in Humboldt Park? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that guy rules. Danny, you uncovered it, didn't you? Yeah, I did. I was there like basically every single day. It took him seven days to catch that alligator. How'd he get up here? From the zoo?

No. Some guy just owned an alligator and he let it loose in Humboldt Park Lagoon. Was it big? That's got to be a very big crime, right? Yeah, it was small, but the place, Humble Park, turned into a festival ground. There were hundreds of people there every day. There was a guy named Gator Bob who was trying to catch it. It wasn't working.

Then they flew in this guy named Gator Rob. They all have Gator? Yeah. Gator Rick was also there too. Just a local who tried jumping in the pond. A couple of guys, you know, you get there in the morning. I would at least see a couple people in swimming suits ready to risk it all. Did you ever see the Gator with your own eyes?

I did. I was there on the last day. I swear, like, the mayor might have been there. It was such a big deal. But people were taking pictures. The guy was holding it around. But do you guys remember Gator Bob? Like, I thought he was going to be on Rogan that week.

He was the most famous guy in the country. Don't remember Gator Bob at all, ever. More for me. You guys are missing out. What was the size? It was small. It was a small gator, I'd say, probably. A house gator.

Did he hold it in his hands? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was a little big gator. That's was a small gator i'd say probably the house gator did he hold in his hands yeah yeah yeah yeah it was a little that's not a big gator but a gator nonetheless but it would have gotten bigger and did they humanely get it out and transport it somewhere yes they still will give updates on it every year it's had some zoo in florida they took it to a zoo yes they didn't just take it down south and let it go it was raised in captivity it probably wouldn't know how to that's that's correct it was they named it a chance the snapper after that's a turtle we know who it's after daniel the guy on sesame street and damn danny you have a um this is one of my favorite things you've ever done all right never mind lucas i sorry, I just found it.

It was just basically he died. You're done. So you just found a dead deer? Yeah, he died in two hours. Hypothermia. I didn't know they had it. That'll all happen. Nah, I was setting Dan up for failure.

No, what were you going to say? I don't think he wants to showcase this. Well, showcase it. He has a trick that we all can participate in. You got a trick? Yeah, I got KB with it. But everyone, you have to follow the rules in order for it to... Okay.

All right. We were shooting an out-of-order sketch yesterday at my apartment, and these two just sat on a beanbag chair together and did hand tricks. Yeah. What else are we supposed to do in that scenario? Hand tricks?

All right, everyone could try this at home, too. Yeah, we'll look at this. Try this. All right, so you have to bite on on both pinky nails bite on the nails the nails as hard as you can for about 30 seconds try to try this let's start now ah we can make it 20 20 mississippi as hard as i can yeah yeah it's gonna hurt it doesn't feel possible to make yourself do this as hard as you can. Yeah, I'd be relieved. I'm giving like 30%. Yeah, go 80%.

No. Okay, Danny. Let's do a good like five more in Mississippi. Okay, okay. And now go like this. Look at him. Go like this and lock your two fingers together. Oh, Danny.

That's the worst pain in the world! What the hell? I'm like bruising. That hurts so bad. Why is that the worst pain I've ever felt? It's a new one for your enemies. Ah! It still hurts!

Did you just do a tank laugh? I did. That was funny. That was Fleming. That's an evil laugh. You just did a Fleming laugh. Is Fleming evil? I can't do a happy laugh? I did. That was funny. That was Fleming. That's an evil laugh. You just did a Fleming laugh. Is Fleming evil? I can't do a happy laugh.

Ow, dude. Wait, I have a cut down my finger. I mean, I guess we're the dumb ones because we just let him do that to us. That's cool. Did you learn that in the hood? Obviously, yeah. Where do you even learn that? Grade school.

Fuck, dude. My finger's cut. How does that hurt so bad? Imagine that in grade school. Isn't that hurt so bad imagine that in grade school isn't there like that's that's a grade school legend there's something when you put your like guys can't get themselves like lift themselves up when yeah yeah at the wall you put your head on the wall the push the ultimate push it or the sit up or the chair you you put a you you put your head on the wall and put a chair and the guy can't pick it up yeah or something something like that yeah and the woman can oh yeah what is it because i think i just have hips and we don't i want to do

the fake hand one where like you have your hand under a blanket and you have a fake hand and somebody's touching your hand as somebody else touches the fake hand and then they take a hammer to the fake hand you feel it on your real one yeah Yeah, they say you do feel a sensation. What? We have a rubber fist upstairs if you want to try it. That's not... Yeah, this is... What is this? Okay. They're okay. Bend your head against the wall until it touches, and then you slide this chair underneath. Got it.

Lift it to your chest, and then just stand up. Sorry. Oh, that's easy. Seems easy enough, right? Yeah. Alright. That's easy. You try it out. Two steps back. So like this. Yep. One and one more. All right. We got to try this. Yeah. Set this up. OK. We can't do it. I mean, we can try it all day long. I want to see if Stephanie can do it. Easy. Just stand up. Just stand up.

I'm trying. I feel like he's not. That's not real. He might be faking, but this is not real. They got to make that Algerian boxer try this. Yeah, that's how you decide. That's quite the story. They got to make her do that right now. That's what they should do. I don't understand.

Dude. That's the genuine test. Who do we call? You got to call the Olympic Committee. I don't understand that story at all. I just know that the Italian was a huge pussy. People are passionately arguing. But she got punched once and she just quit?

Isn't that boxing? People took sides on that very fast. It will not move. There was one great exchange, though. I'll send it to you, Lucas. Wait, Lucas, I have to DM TJ now? Yeah, his Twitter's logged in on the computer, so DM him anything. That chair's too big.

That chair's way too big. Yeah. Too big? Yeah. This sums up Twitter and these type of arguments better than anything else. Oh. Just people just spouting off about shit. That chair's too small.

All right, Goldilocks, we'll take it. I said, all right, Goldilocks. What's TJ's Twitter? I think TJ Hitchings. Awesome. We'll talk after me and you, Dan. I feel like you got beef, but I like that you have room to grow on the rankings.

No, no, no, We don't have beef. I just fucking hate your guts. Whoa. That's crazy. That's crazy. Che did very well. No, he didn't. He wasn't nervous.

Why do we keep telling him that? He wasn't nervous. He was very confident in himself. Look at him. He had fantastic structure. He was composed the whole time. He doesn't take damage. He's built like that. Maybe that composed the whole time. He doesn't take damage. He's built like that. Maybe that's part of it.

That Italian boxer could learn something. Yeah, true. I don't hate your guts. I love you, buddy. I kind of hate you. You're number two, which is good. Yeah. And I think he has a little bit of a recency bias. Yeah. You did yours a long while ago.

You should do it again. He can't be there. You can't keep me out of there. I'll buy a ticket. What's this shirt you're wearing, Brandon? It's called America. I thought that was a country. I'm pretty sure it's against flag code

to wear the flag. Correct. You're making a statement. It's also upside down on your right shoulder. Simone Biles won gold last night. I'm honoring our... Spoiler. What if you catch on fire?

Then I'll take it off. Is this just now Chase getting every chair? What are you doing? This is worse than the first chair. Yeah. That's too big. You got the right chair. The little black one is fine.

The little one? No. That's too small. Pull it up. I don't think it's too small. That's too small of a too small that's not too small that's one of the find a different one that's standard we need a better chair all right wait pull that up i just sent it to you i sent it to tj we should read tj's dms lucas god this sucks all right here we go so this is this woman was like uh basically defending

the other woman the the iranian was iranian algerian yeah and then this guy comes in saying uh what would your reaction have been if you were supposed to fight khalif amy i have great respect for your boxing legacy but you missed the mark here agreed uh the way you're born is out of your control but it's a clear advantage. You shouldn't be allowed. And then someone's like, she did fight her, and she beat her. Oh, shit. Is that the box?

Oh, fuck. What did Ben Hyde do? It's just like, that's perfect Twitter. Some dude flying in trying to well actually someone who actually fought this person. That's perfect. Perfect. It would be perfect if he still fought back. Yeah, he deleted his tweet like a coward.

Absolute coward. That's the thing. The Algerian has lost five times. Yeah, she's not even great. Right. She was in the Olympics four years ago and lost. And no one made anything about it. If and when I lose an argument that badly, I think I just respond agree to disagree.

Yeah. Yeah, we all have our opinions, man. That a wrap what are you gonna do god bless all right danny go try this how many chairs can we get them to oh yeah wait he took one away we were up to four chairs yeah why did he take one away there he's come do you guys i see him but he's chairless look at him I think you're close Steven that might be good Brandon we were talking about the flag

did you see what the original design of the US flag was supposed to be I did not way cooler it's a hand it's an arm muscular arm coming out of a cloud holding a knife what yeah I know big fumble It's a hand. It's an arm, muscular arm coming out of a cloud holding a knife. What? Yeah. That's way better. Why did you do that?

I know. Big fumble. We need in between of those two. Yeah. It's almost like an average of all four of those. Yeah. The mean. Yeah.

Like, if you took one piece of each of those chairs. I think the back's important. What about a wheelie chair? Tell me we don't have better chairs than this. What about that, uh, what about the throne in Quick Pick Studio? What about the company next door? The battery place? What about one of the, do we have a recliner?

We should, yeah. Let's just have him get every chair. This is your number one guy, by the way, Dan. Yeah. This is your guy. None of the skills are going to translate. He's only magic on stage. The rest of the time...

I agree. This. Oh, that's interesting. What? God damn it. I'm backing'm backing you man it brings out wheels well oh what about the bench yeah yeah yeah the bench might be i think the bench is the right height and width the bench is perfect get the bench the bench is perfect oh yeah yeah that's what we can see i don't't know. That might share.

Yeah, get that out there. One of these chairs. Yeah, we do have. Kate's not here. Yeah. Her chair. That way we could just say the reason we can't pick it up is because it's too heavy. Yeah.

It's uniformed. Okay. Ah. I want to see the bench. That one has wheels, too. Wheels is such a bad move. Lucas, can you show? I don't know.

See that shit. Oh. What about the, or maybe the box for the box jumps? I think the bench. The box could work. The box could work, Steven. I disagree. Can you pick?

Yeah, just get the box. Could any of these work? This is crazy. Did we get any more golds? Oh, well, we got Simone Biles. We got like the rowing men's coxless. She's the fours. That seems impressive.

Oh, he's going to go with this. That's a soothing sport to watch. Oh. Rowing? I know. This is interesting. You can really get lost in rowing. Good shot, Blutman.

Very smooth water. Oh, what are the... On the bar. In the kitchen. Yeah, the barstools. What are those? You took it. What bar is it?

No, no, not the ones on the bar, but the ones on the high tops. Yeah. Are those different? Wait, Lucas, can you cut to the upstairs like around the table we want to be able to do it right there what do you mean what are we doing here oh that dog bed yeah that dog bed four legs back no wheels yeah keep going luc. Or is this the most you can do? He's going to have to go the other way.

Oh, Lucas. We might see Ben Mintz right here. One, two, three. Nope. Oh, those are different. Oh, that's a leather chair up there. The leather ones. Tell Mintz he needs his chair.

Those are high as shit. Get someone to pass it down to you. They can. Well, you could stand on a chair and get it passed down to you stand on the box kind of holding the show up it really is well don't take that we still need to well he's using the best. He's using this to stand to then get a chair. This is ridiculous. He's fucking with us, right? Yeah, yeah. No, he's not at this point.

That's number one. Yes. The best comic in martial sports. Yeah, that's your guy, Dan. Yeah. You did this. We're going to need to have some one-on-one lessons. What would Brandon have to do to propel to number one?

Do it the most recent yes if i saw him more recently i think and this is helping you're this is going to go into the next power he said that's funny so far i said actual jokes chase jokes oh take take his little because brandon does this thing where he wears funny shirts and then he wants people to be like oh that's a funny guy. He tries to use his shirts as jokes. Yeah, your shirt didn't stand out to me that night. You have goldfish.

Brandon's never made me laugh in a gildan. This is the latest. Yeah. Try. Oh, no. Now we got our two best. Oh, he's actually trying. It's Mincy.

Oh, no. Oh, yes. This is great. This is some great stuff. Any chance Mince comes down with it? No. Like he sticks to the chair? No, Steven, you get him on, guys.

Come on. Hurry up. You can get the chair. Mincey passed it down to you. No, it's not too heavy. Get a second person, Mincey. We're not going up. We're going down.

Well, at least try. Someone's going to get hurt. Is Luke just carrying the hand? I think we got about like a three-foot gap here. Oh, okay. Oh, way more. Wait, that actually is a perfect gap. Oh, there we go. Oh, no.

Steven, just jump. Jump, Steve. Ben, you jump too. Oh, no. Oh, no. Steven, just jump. Jump, Steve. Ben, you jump, too. Yeah. It doesn't look heavy at all. That's perfect. No, no. You think so?

I think you should pass it back. That might be the one. Okay, all right. Let's try. Thank you, Che. Go find us a good one. Well, no. Let's try. Thank you, Che. Uh, yeah. Well, no. Do it wherever Lucas can get his cameras. Lucas,

where can you get your cameras? Upstairs? Out in the... You do the wall by the gambling cave. Wall by the gambling cave, he said. Yeah, the entrance to the gambling cave. Entrance to the gambling cave. This is so many chairs we have. This is gonna be bad, because there's multiple entrances to the gambling cave. Oh is so many chairs. This is going to be bad because there's multiple entrances to the gambling cave.

Oh, okay. Yeah, right there. And watch. He's going to be able to do it. All right. Go ahead, Steven. Try. I don't know what to do. Put your head on the wall. Grab the chair. You do it with him. Bring the chair to your chest and then stand up.

It's two feet up. Two feet first. Two feet. Watch this whole video. It's fake. We can all do it. I don't think we can. Two of my feet, he asked. He just asked two of my feet.

Two of my feet? Could that possibly mean? He said get two feet back. And he said two of my feet. Two of my feet? Could that possibly mean? He said get two feet back and he said two of my feet. And I know for a fact Stephen wears size 12. He just has to ask questions. Every time.

He can't. He can't. Alright Stephanie, you do it. Wow, look how weak. Oh, weakling. No, you can't bend your knees. You can't bend your knees. I want to try this.

Yeah, try it. Who's getting a feminine man to do it? I wonder. Guys can do it or cannot do it? Cannot do it. Okay, good. Two feet. Two of your feet. Two of your feet.

Now we have to specify two of your feet. Stand up. Stand up! Oh, no. Rendered paralyzed. Yeah. Oh, no. Stop. Rendered paralyzed. Yeah. That's crazy.

Big hat. Confirmed man. Oh, man. I can't do it. Not even close. So what is going on with the female body that they can do it? Their hips or something? It's their center of gravity.

I don't know. It's their center of gravity. I don't know. Women do be happy. It's their center of gravity? Much better hips. Yes. Oh, my God. Fuck you. Fuck this. You got it.

Go try, KB. Yeah. Two of your feet. How many cumulative minutes did you do in the cold uh tub yesterday uh probably like three okay it sucked i got in with jerry for a minute yeah that warms it up jerry's jerry's having a hell of a time online right now the lib of the year yeah he said that he was out at the golf course and people were congratulating him. That's not good.

And also... Is he just bad at taking compliments? Yeah, I guess so. Oh, I feel like Kyle can do it, but he's holding back. It's like Captain America could lift Thor's hammer. He doesn't want to be gut. Maybe it's hamstrings? It's like all of your weight is on your toes for some reason. But Stephanie did it so easily.

All right, what is it? Larger pelvis. Pelvis. See? Hips. Larger pelvis than men is related to having a lower center of gravity. That's crazy. I know.

Isn't it nuts? I wouldn't have. Yeah. Not even budging. No, Jerry's, yeah, he, well, he asked us to rescind it. And then we told him that he'd have to also give back the cash prize. Oh. So then he said, don't rescind it.

Well, then he's just got to take the compliments. And then now I guess guys are DMing him offering to suck his dick. Naturally. Yeah. Did he say yeah or no? I said, tell the guy no for right now you should say don't close the door if you didn't want him to suck your dick why'd you show it on camera like true all right so what is this there's a hammer in here um mousetrap hey hey all right so what is this

are we smashing brand Brandon's hand? A little trick. Psychology trick. All right, so he's staring at the other hand. Just slap it. No, just pound it with your hand. We got to be able to see it, boys. Maybe angle.

Other way. I can't see the hand. All right. You can't see your own hand. Okay. All right. Still. Okay.

Okay. Not even a little bit. Nothing. That was a bit. Nothing. That wasn't done. Nothing. I wanted to react for you, but nothing. I didn't even. No, I appreciate you not yucking it up.

I made it online. God damn it, and you bought that hand for that. I wanted it to work. I wanted that to work. Damn it. Myth busted. Myth busted. We should do that as a show.

Yeah. Met with Chef Mon should do that as a show. Yeah. That was Chef Andre about that today. There it is. Now, what I'm going to do is try to position the rubber hand so it looks like it's your own. Okay. Okay, could you imagine that being your own hand, kind of? Yeah.

What we're going to do is we're going to stroke your finger simultaneously, the rubber finger and your real finger. I don't trust him at all. And hopefully this will convince you that the rubber hand is your own, that your brain will actually Her hand looks like a rubber hand. Oh, so there's a lot more steps. Watching the rubber hand being stroked at the same time as the real hand Yeah, I feel like Brandon can't have his hand flexed like that.

To trick the brain into adopting it as its own. We like weird. I bet you do. And slowly but surely you should feel that the hand you're looking at is actually part of your body. It feels like you're touching my hand with that one. Right, so it feels like this is your hand that I'm touching, right? Yes.

Uh-oh. You okay? Yeah. Try that at home with your kids. I don't know. She didn't feel it. It just scared her. She just said, uh-oh.

Wait, yeah, that was a... What? That wasn't the example I saw. I saw a hammer. It was more lab-based. Yeah. Anything else? I landed face up.

We should try it. Let's try it on Monday with Cox. Oh, we should do Cox. You stroke Brandon's cock. I'll do it for like 20 minutes. So you try it on Monday with Cox. Oh, we should do Cox. You stroke Brandon's cock. I'll do it for like 20 minutes so you know. Do it for 20. By the way, Ruffin Rowdy, one week from today, Nick and I will be there. Yeah.

Ruffin Rowdy 25 invades Wheeling, West Virginia next Friday night, August 9th, 8 p.m. Eastern. Watch West Virginia locals brawl with nonstop haymakers, zero defense, plus a main event of the Abel brothers versus Frank the Tank and his champion Mikey Betts. It's a loser leaves town match. The Morningstar is the name of the new Abel. Oh, it goes by Morningstar now? Myself, Dave, Robbie Fox, Nick, Roan, Large, we'll all be there.

Enjoy the best three hours of summer sports entertainment by ordering buyrnr.com. Buyrnr.com. It's going to be an awesome night. What does loser leave town mean? Mikey Betts loses his job. Really? Yes. No way.

He's going to throw the match. That's what Dave said. Dave said that Mikey Betts will lose his job and the Ables can never box again in rough and rowdy. Both Ables. Yes. It's a loser leaves town match. Is Betts nervous?

I didn't realize that was the full stipulation until yesterday. I thought it was a joke because everybody's leaving town as soon as it ends. That would be funny as well. Yeah, you have to leave Wheeling. I'm calling this rough and rowdy as a loser leaves town call. Yeah. You're leaving town. Yeah.

No. No, but then I'm a loser. Oh, fuck. But all the winners have to leave too. Winner stays in Wheeling? Yeah, winner stays in Wheeling. Oh, fuck. Grand prize.

Yeah, loser leaves town match. It's going to be electric. I really want to see Che do some more GeoGuessr. I do too. Yeah. GeoGuessr. Maybe throw in some blind games after. Yeah, I just couldn't stop thinking about Che playing GeoGuessr yesterday

and how electric that was. He really is so bad at it. Anyone who has a guess within the first three seconds like that in GeoGuessr. Yeah. Everything was U.S. Everything. Steven, you want to play a round? You want me to play GeoGuessr?

Yes. That's exactly what I said. How'd you get that from that? How'd you land on that? Yeah, we just talked for five minutes about how awesome Stephen is at playing. I'm not very good at it. I haven't lost. I mean, this is – what was the conversation we just had?

It's like, what is going on right now? Stephen is a parrot, basically. He just repeats back whatever the last thing he said, question-wise. Question-wise. Question-ass pair. Steven? He's going to ask again. Why don't we come out here, Che?

Steven, you want to ask a question? Oh, no, sorry. We're figuring out how to logistically make this work back here. Got it. I would do the same exact thing we did yesterday. Yeah. Every day that we've done it. I don't know.

That sounds complicated. We'll have the website. We're figuring. Person. Every day that we've done it. Geoguessr.com. I don't know. That sounds complicated. We'll have the website. We're figuring it out. Yeah, we don't know if it can be done. It can. Yeah, Che. Don't you just type in the website? It might as well be Groundhog Day.

Of course it could be done. We practiced yesterday. We rehearsed. What's going on back there? We'll have to see. cincinnati have like a local legend like who's your golden boy p rose uh so i never really did stand up in cincinnati like i didn't start till i moved here but there's a dude there named jeff tate that is amazing he's so good oh he's good at stand up oh yeah oh yeah what about non-stand-up? Yeah, Pete Rose. Like a character.

A character. A local character. It was Harambe. Harambe was our guy for a very long time. You guys did not fuck with him before he died. He got more followers on Instagram after he died. When someone shot a gorilla at the zoo, were you like, Harambe? We all knew exactly which gorilla it was.

We didn't say a weird racist name on accident. The best recent dude we had was that guy who, during around 2020, who they came out and asked him about race riots. And he's like, you know, I want everyone to just get along and be better and it'll be over when it's over. And then they're like, when will it be over for you? And he's like, well, probably when I get some pussy. That's a local legend. I'm going to watch that clip. Big Dick Daddy.

Big Dick Daddy? All right, fine. Big Dick Daddy? His name's Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati. Who's the rough and rowdy guy? That's Big Daddy. What was his name? Oh.

Booty Dick Daddy? No, Big Booty Daddy? Yeah. Booty Daddy? No. Did Booty Daddy? Big Booty Daddy? No. He tried to do Scott Steiner's name, then we had to change it. He tried to do Scott Steiner? No. Are we talking about the guy who was like the worst heel ever?

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. And he got his ass kicked? It was Bad Booty Daddy? Big Bad Booty Daddy. Yeah. He tried to be Scott Steiner?

Well, Scott Steiner was Big Bad Booty Daddy. He talked a great shit-talking game, and then he fought Bobby Lang and just tried to wrestle him. And he covered up the whole time. I still loved him. Yeah, he was electric at selling fights. Did he retire? Or was he banned?

I think he was just banned. He lost a match. He talked vicious shit about Bobby Lang and his wife and everything. Did he try to get hired here? Maybe. Possibly. Oh, man.

He was huge. How do you think Joe Burrow's going to do this year? Oh, he's going to do great. Him and Jamar shaved their heads already. They're on the same page. This is going to be the year. This is going to be the year. Yeah.

I am high on the Bengals this year. Yeah. So they sucked the entire time I was a kid, but my high school football team was really bad academically. So the Bengals sponsored them. And if you had like a C average, you would get to go to Bengals practices and you could like watch them do stuff.

And we were sitting in film with all the defensive backs, and it was like golden Mohawk O ocho cinco he walked by he was wearing a bathrobe and he was smoking a cigar in the practice facility and he looked at like all these high school kids he's like hey what what's the best defensive back on your team we're like uh eric eric jones is our best db he goes eric i would fucking smoke you that's great oh you're my favorite yeah ochjo single was great yeah i mean those teams were just every year good enough to get to the playoffs and never win a playoff game yeah it was brutal yeah just that yeah the the pass to chris henry when he like he breaks his leg and then also

carson palmer broke his leg on the chemo von Yeah. Rolled up on him. That was bad. That was rough. Would you say, are you guys like elite white trash people? Yes. Yeah, for the most part. Everything that surrounded me. So my high school, it was two schools and they merged them. And it was a white school district and a black school district.

So they merged them and then all the white kids just went to Catholic schools. GCL. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Xavier. Moeller. People are very proud of him. them and then all the white kids just went to like catholic schools but gcl yeah oh yeah yeah zave you're all people are very proud of dude you can walk around cincinnati and like an 80 year old man will just be singing the moeller fight songs crazy they never know our t-shirt guy is the uh head soccer coach at moeller no shit yeah mike welker damn yeah oh yeah that's where our factory is t-shirt factory yeah yeah i think they've won like a state title under him yeah probably yeah they're beasts the merging school was they were both public to begin with yeah yeah they just up and converted to christianity they everyone got real catholic real quick how was that first day

well i was homeschooled before i went to high school. What? Yeah, so What? Oh yeah, so your first day. My first day was like, oh, I guess public schools are all black people. This is interesting. Wait, you were homeschooled? Yeah, dog. Brothers and sisters? Three sisters. And you sat in class with them? I sat at the kitchen table.

And naturally, when you're in like middle school, you get a crush on one of your classmates. Oh, man, you were in all my school. Yeah you get a crush on one of your classmates. Yeah, I got the hottest one of my sisters. That's crazy. What was that like? It ruled for middle school. No way.

Yes. No, this is what I would do every day. I would go in my room. I had a little desk. I would finish a week's worth of work in two days, and then I would go to the park and play basketball the entire rest of the week that would hang out that does rule it was awesome do you think you were socially stunted at all uh i i met other homeschool kids so i was like you could see the

bottom of the barrel yeah you could be like oh it could be that bad right like i can talk to other kids my age i might not be i'm probably not the best i'm pretty sure i'm like big fish small pond right now yeah uh i went to high school and i was like yeah i need some i need to catch up i'm behind the game here yeah did you go in with like feminine traits because you were the only guy in your school yeah uh yeah you went to an all-girls school i went to an all-girls school. I went to an all-girls school. I dominated all the sports leagues. I was pretty fucking good. Wait, so did you play, like, Little League and stuff so you would meet kids that way, too?

Yeah. So, Little League, like, baseball you would play against, like, you know, it's Little League. You're just playing against other kids from, like, your district. I played in a homeschool basketball league. No way. I thought i was the shit like i was talking shit my first year in high school and they had just won they were state runners up the year before i got there and i was like there was some kid that i was friends with and i was like he was the starting point guard the year before on like the junior high team was like

yeah i'm probably gonna take your spot like just get used to it you know it'll be fine i'll pass you the ball we'll see what's happening and then I got dunked on the first day of tryouts, and I didn't know people might want me to do that. Oh, my God. That's crazy. I just got a post-Michael Jordan quote. Wait, so did your parents ever think you were going to do high school homeschooled? What was their reasoning for it?

Middle school boy should not be around his sisters for his high school years. Yeah, yeah. I was like that. I was starting to be a problem. Did your sisters go to high school years yeah yeah i was like that i was not i was starting to be a problem did your sisters go to high school or do they stay homeschooled my big sister did it all the way until college whoa yeah and then my little sister just behind me went to school part time she did a half time at high school my parents were like the most involved people ever i got to shadow the high school before i decided to go which they they don't do that for

public school right right uh and then my my youngest sister she went like full-time wow yeah i'm very like interested in homeschooling it's it's a very bizarre concept to me i think that it all depends on the parents yeah yeah we would get the weirdest kids were the kids who went like year round and they would have like capstone projects in ninth grade. Like they would like build functional rockets or stuff. In homeschool? Yeah. Holy shit.

What is it? You've known me the whole time. I homeschool my kids. Oh yeah, that's right. You homeschool your kids? Yeah. Yeah, we did forget. I'm sitting right here.

I forgot about that. I tell you about it. Yeah, we did forget about it. Are they weird? No. No, they're actually very well adjusted. They're fine. They're smart. Well, no, your oldest doesn't about that. I tell you about it. Yeah, we did forget about it. Are they weird? No. No, they're actually very well adjusted. They're fine. They're smart.

Well, no, your oldest doesn't homeschool. She goes to high school. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot. My bad. I totally forgot. They're smart and so smart. I was wondering what the wrestling was happening here.

You've never heard of the concept. I've heard of the concept. I'm very interested in the concept. Not that I would have my kids have to go to school. It's a very normal thing. I could see you getting worked up and i was like what the fuck did i say to brandon this time so do you call you call yourself a part-time teacher then i don't do it my wife who's a college professor does at least like oh shit see my mom was a special ed teacher before she started teaching me college professors a big step up my wife teaches uh spanish is and

english as a second language so she taught at the college level. Oh, shit. So once I got to a point where I could do it, she just stays home and teaches the kids. But was your mom as hot as Brandon's wife? Oh, this is another blind ranking. Yeah. I'm giving this one to my mom.

Oh, shit. Yeah, I heard it here. His mom's hotter than your wife. From his mouth. Yeah, dad pulls. Yeah, sorry, Brandon. I forgot. I think it's because I, you know what it is?

I talked to your daughter when we went to your house about her upcoming school year. Oh, yeah. So, like, in my head, she was, like, you know, talking about going to school, like, when school starts and stuff. Talking about softball. Yeah. That episode comes out next Friday. Where you talk to my daughter about softball? Yeah, that's the whole episode.

Yeah. It's a one-on-one interview. It's an interview. Thinking about using it for PMT. Yeah, about the Antioch JV softball team. Yeah, I mean, I'll say this, Dan. I can guarantee you 14-year-old you was not as cool as Tommy Walker. That's fair.

Fair. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. 14-year-old me was. The coolest. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was cry quick. That was definitely on there.

What is cry quick? Not a thing. You were a pussy. I was a pussy. Cry quick? I was cry quick. You made it sound like you have a syndrome No it took nothing for me to like cry or freak out

Doctor has diagnosed you with cry quick I'm not a pussy Scientific term for pussy Pimms is working on a product for it Cry quick Yeah Kids just do cry Kids cry

My kids cry all the time. But it's just for nothing, too. They just cry and then they'll stop crying. It's like, all right, what was that? They're just fine all the time? Yeah, no, it's not even a thing. They're just emotional roller coasters. Just got to let it out.

Yeah. And they hold it all in. What was the most recent cry attributed to? My kids? Yeah. what was the most recent cry attributed to my kids yeah i think it was this morning when i told them they had to get in the car yeah well that's you fucked that totally understand yeah i was like put up hey dante come hang out i basically was just like get in the car we have to go and they're just like you're talking mean to me i was like all right oh no it was actually, yeah, it was I got Cheez-Its for one of them

and not the other. That's on you. That was me. Well, the other one didn't ask for it. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. But then as soon as the Cheez-Its came, everyone was like, where are my Cheez-Its? It's like, fuck, I'm not a mind reader.

Help me out here. Hey, Dante, what's up? What's up, guys? Still crazy? By the way, I'm sorry that she keeps passing you by like that who i don't know he's sure he's trying to be funny hey proposition for you oh i like this are you interested in the hawk to a girl on monday no no i'm being serious interested in having her come come by and suck our cocks having her come sit on that thing yeah uh i will

not be here i'm going on grit week so that is a question for nick no i'll take her danny you'll take her all right yeah i mean why not yeah bring her really yeah you guys did a whole episode about her. Has she been doing shit? Yeah. Does she have more to talk about? Probably not. I saw one clip where she got introduced to the concert and no one reacted. Well, she's in Cleveland for SummerSlam this weekend. So hopefully she has some good stories in there.

Depths to pull that. Are you going? SummerSlam. That was. What that. Are you going SummerSlam? What? How do you do, fellow kids? You're not going? The way you said it, Cleveland for SummerSlam. That's what it's called.

It was all one word. It's not great. Hopefully, she has some good stories from that. You should get Giorgio Villa out here. Who's that? The Parmesan cheese. The chick yeah the chick dude you don't know anymore what oh here it is this is what i wanted the choke button ready you don't know anymore you gotta yeah so have you been watching the olympics dante not really yeah any boxing matches dante i want you to challenge her to rough and rowdy.

Dude, are you crazy? You have my fucking head. I've already got my head knocked off once. I don't need it twice. Wait, do you have tats? No. Trans athlete takes? I'm totally...

Oh, he's got sleeves, dude. Yeah, he's got his whole body up. He looks like Memento. No. Are you going to SummerSlam? No, I got to stay here. Yeah, it's bad timing. What do you have?

Are you going to Lala? Went yesterday for a minute and was quickly reminded I'm fucking so old now. Yep, yep. It was insane. It's a young guy. I mean, yeah, Lala's the, like. Dude, that chapel roan. Went yesterday for a minute and was quickly reminded I'm fucking so old now. Yep. It was insane. It's a young crowd. I mean, yeah, Lala's the, like. Dude, that chapel roan. Wait.

She's awesome. Every time. Massive. Yeah. She had, like, one of the craziest crowds I've ever seen. I don't even know who that is. Every time they show a clip or picture of her crowds, it looks impossibly large. Who is she?

Yes. She's a lesbian. I think she's going to be the next Lady Gaga. Yeah. Pink Pony Club, Song of the Summer. Yeah. Do I know that? She's a lesbian. I think she's going to be the next Lady Gaga. Pink Pony Club, Song of the Summer. Do I know that? If you heard it, hot to go you would know. I don't think Dan would know either of those songs. I don't know either of those songs.

You can't avoid it. H-O-T-O-G-O. Yeah, see, he knows. Chicks go crazy when they come on. She's the best singer out right now. She has a song about eating another girl's pussy in the front seat of a car. Yes. Gross.

It's a new market. Yeah. New roadhead. Yeah. New roadhead just dropped. Apple run. She was amazing. But yeah, her, for a Thursday afternoon, usually, you know, it's like a sleeper day.

It was absolute insanity yesterday for her. She's from Iowa, too. I don't know any of these things. Missouri. Missouri? I thought Iowa. All I know is she's got like the crazy face paint. Like middle of nowhere, right?

Yeah, she's from like somewhere in the middle of the Midwest. Okay, I thought Iowa. Okay, I believe you. What border? I don't know this. Who is this guy? That's Dan. That's Dan.

I just met him. Nice guy. Great guy. Well, why are you talking to us about him? He's right there. That's him. That was your crowd? Yeah.

That looks fake. What the fuck? Dude, yeah. That looks like a Blackhawks parade. Bro, that was 5 p.m. on Thursday. Oh, my God. Yeah. Blink on Sunday will probably look like that.

I don't know. We might be out of touch. I think that's bigger. You think so? Yeah. I don't know. How do you get bigger than that? I know.

It was wild. But, yeah. That. I have Travis Barker at my bar tomorrow night. Wow. Doing what? Drumming. He's drumming at the bar? Yep. Which what drumming he's at the bar yep which one which bar the farm

oh i got a new one oh nice yeah is that the one with jimmy butler yep nice and kipnis right yep that's why so that's why i have to say in roquan oh yeah so that's why i'm staying in chicago not going to summer slam got it what you have previously gone to summer slam i didn't know you to be a wrestling guy oh he's got a club in cleveland i'm not like i i can't watch it every week like you do but i try to that's why i missed your podcast man kept me it kept me in the loop like i knew it came back two weeks ago no it's it's it's coming back we just had some guest issues we're just rolling around you haven't had an episode out one of our guests got suspended from their company so where's which one chelsea green no brit baker what happened uh she's just dealing with something there at aw that we'll

have to get through and then we'll get her back but we're gonna have the aw world champion next week so we're good nice who's that swerve Strickland. What day is that pod airing? I don't know yet. That's a Nicky the Good question. Because my grill's getting delivered Monday, buddy. What did that have to do with anything? If your show comes out Monday, nobody's going to be listening to your show. That's my champion.

Yeah, that is. Keep doing that. Why did he pop in with his grill? His grill has nothing to do with my podcast. If you drop your podcast on the day that he gets his grill, no one's going to listen to Rassel. Oh, your grill. I thought you said

your girl, like your baby girl was getting delivered. No, I didn't. I was like, you can schedule deliveries. You can. We're racing to see who was gonna do a thing first in my mind we were racing

when did we decide that you got mad when I said when I ribbed you for he's right no listeners on Rasslin because Che has real we had the issue we dropped Rediscovering yesterday without knowing

Frank Cook's chimichangas was coming out lemon pepper chimichangas real dropped we we had the issue we dropped rediscovering yesterday without knowing frank cook's chimichangas was coming out lemon pepper chimichangas are you serious as they are traditionally made lemon pepper for rick ross god damn god i saw it and i screamed fuck i tried to keep frank was in cleveland last weekend what for the memorabilia show. He's everywhere all the time. You guys are both everywhere. No, Frank was kind of the hit of the weekend, and then he had to leave because Dave wouldn't get him a hotel. Well, Frank's doing his ballpark tour right now?

I believe so. He's with Mike McDaniel right now. What? What? Yeah. Oh, doing a walk? I assume. It's what Dolphins Camp looks like. Wow like wow steven when you go to bucks camp we're trying to work it out logistically because camp technically

ends next week but we have the olympics this week and then um the grill sounds like you're not going to bucks camp grill no we're trying to work it out. Who's we? Me and the team. The Glazers? So we is you and the Bucs? I am in talks, yes. We have a busy summer schedule. I'm much busier than anticipated. Again, who's the we here? Me and my people. The Glazers.

You make it sound like you're in talks with them where they're like we need you here. They're only at morning practices right now, in which case that is logistically very tough for me to. Do a morning? Yes. Bless you. Where are you going on grit week?

We're going to L.A. We've got three camps. What? For grit week, L.A.? We've gone out there before. We've gone everywhere. Grit Week, LA. We've gone out there before. We've gone everywhere. Grit is what you make it. Well, we're doing Chargers, Rams, and Raiders camp.

They're all within an hour of each other. Is that not gritty enough for you? At the Raiders, yeah. Chargers, oh, yeah. Harbaugh. Okay. All right. Does that pass the test?

Dante approves. Where else? Where else? Yeah, where else? That's it. Okay. Oh, that's not much. Shut it down, Dante. Tell else? That's it. Shut it down, Dante.

Tell him no. Shut it down, Dante. That's cool. That doesn't sound cool, I guess. That's the worst reaction. I'm used to Pittsburgh. We did that last year. We did Buffalo and Detroit. Everyone was like, you've done this before.

I think LA and Vegas is like glitz week. Oh, wow. It's glitz week now. Not grit. Yeah, I mean, we did the Rust Belt again last year and people were so mad that we did it again. Who's mad at that? Dante's in your ass.

He is in my ass. That's where the definition... I would do that run every year but people yeah they don't want us to they want us to spice it up so we're gonna get we're gonna spice it up you stop listening to the trolls man oh you are gonna tell me this you yeah sounds like some sage advice tante what conspiracy theory are we working on right now did you see the one do you think JFK's his driver shot him

did you see that I heard that but you should look into that what else you got oh well they definitely the CIA definitely tried to kill Trump Dante's like I thought you said conspiracy that's not even a conspiracy

I don't know if it was them do you think it's written do you think it's a real biden we keep seeing dude i don't i think that one's kind of like that would be so much work i know but they to make that happen i think that's a little bit taller i wish we had our own that is a little that's the one's a little kooky he's a little taller they did it with avril yeah he's a baller true i don't know let's flip it what's one that people would be shocked to know you think might have some traction moon landing no i'm bored with that patrick ewing lottery now frozen envelope Is that what it was? Yeah. I don't know. Had to get him to New York.

Give me something. Give him something. Gucci man clone? What's that one? There's a Gucci man clone? Yeah. Tupac or Elvis being alive? Is that real?

Yeah, yeah. When he came out of prison and he was all skinny and suddenly he was all about his business, they were like, that's not Gucci man. He was like, I don't like bean anymore. That's not a joke. That's a different guy with an ice cream cone tatted about his business. They're like, that's not good. Yeah. He was like, I don't like pain anymore. That's not a job. That's a different guy with an ice cream cone tatted on his face. Yeah. One of those, one of the like ones where someone was dead for a really long time, but then alive, that would fucking be awesome.

I think the Tupac one is a lot more realistic than the Elvis one. Oh, well, Elvis would be dead by now. Agreed. Well, there's been a recent wrinkle in the Tupac one. Oh, Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs would be one. 88? He's in that picture that popped up

where it looked like he was in Argentina or something. I think Michael Jackson's the most believable. I don't think I heard that one. You didn't? No. I think there was a picture of Steve Jobs in Argentina. I'm not on 4chan like you are. I'm not on 4chan.

He came swinging. You're on 8chan. Easy. Can someone pull that Steve Jobs pickup? I haven't seen this. What is this? It was like a... Dan said he got spotted in Argentina.

You got a link with Eve Jobs, his chick daughter. Is it Argentina? Oh, it says the first result is fake photo. When's that stopped us? Oh, that's just him. There's a lot of guys that look like that. Yeah, that's true. He's like an MCU. Yeah. like that. Yeah, that's true.

He's like an MCU. Yeah. I wish you had something better for me. I want to get in on the brain of... Yeah, we know you got those newspapers taped all over the walls at home. What do some of those say? Does the cure for cancer exist? Buddy, how much time you got? No, I would hope so.

But I hope that it wouldn't so yeah and they're just hiding it oh i hope not oh what are we hoping what is i don't know what the police diagram that it's in a test phase and that it'll eventually be i'm not as like loony as you guys think i am i know you're prettyony. You and I haven't talked much. I think you're perfectly normal. I'm really enjoying your company. Thank you. You're pretty loony.

You're doing that out of fear? No, I just like him stirring shit up. Yeah, I do too. What would be a reason? I'm new on you, so what's a reason they would think you're loony? I'm talking to Dante right now, Dan. Thank you, Dante. I just got these.

I appreciate that. That suede on the side? Yeah, sure. Yeah, no. I got some pussy getting chewed. I'd be afraid to wear those. Why? Get them dirty.

They're very nice. Well, I just have a bunch more. Wherever these came from, I got a bunch more, you know. Dante, what size do you wear? Brandon Walker. Wait, Dante, answer Dan's question. Here, you want my shoes? What was it? Like, I'm new to you, and they all seem to think you wear? Brandon Walker. Wait, Dante, answer Dan's question. Here, you want my shoes? What was it?

Like, I'm new to you, and they all seem to think you have some crazy beliefs. What would be like a reason? What's something that you have done that would make me think that? Well, he thinks Dave's in the Illuminati. No, I don't think that. I have questioned. Not crazy. If he's been propositioned.

That's totally normal. If he's been given the opportunity? Yeah. So the Illuminati is 100% real. Fuck yeah. Okay, all right. Okay, all right, I see. That's a good jump.

Who do you... Fuck yeah. Who's in your Illuminati? Yeah, who's in the Illuminati that we would know? I don't think we know. You, Jay-Z? Build your Illuminati. Yes.

He's in the Illuminati. All right, so we know that one. Who else? Taylorati. Yes. He's in the Illuminati. All right, so we know that one. Who else? Taylor Swift. No. Caleb Williams. I heard that rumor, and I was like, this means we'll win a Super Bowl. No.

I don't know, but someone said that, and I was like, that's good, right? He's got to be in the program. How high is my winners getting there? I haven't had time, but I think I i'm gonna try to blog this over the weekend i think he won me over with the uh him addressing the team about trash being fucking pigs yes and cleaning up he's a leader dude that very that is so impressive yes especially as a rookie to do that agreed yes and it just shows that he's a decent human right as character i was far as low huh i was like fuck decent humans don't decent characters don't win super i'm not saying that but you want a bad head bundy never littered all right but i see all right but i do

i have a do of a good caleb story though oh that i've heard. Oh. From an attorney. I got excited and then I was like, all right. From an attorney friend. So his dad's a character. Yeah. I guess. Like a Lonzo Ball dad type character. He's a football dad.

Yeah. Which, can we just say as a sidebar Lonzo Ball He was right He's kind of aged well He called his shot, he's like my sons are going to be in the NBA LeVar Ball LeVar Ball, sorry He was like my sons are going to be in the NBA And then two of the three sons went to the NBA

That's a hard thing to call And be right about You hear he said that neither of his sons will ever win a championship Unless they're on the same team oh i like that i like he said lonzo's injury came because he switched from whole milk to skim milk what knows oh i didn't know that these are all correct all right so go ahead so he before the deal got signed and all that, he was in negotiations and was asking the Bears what they can do to cut down the wind at Soldier Field because he sees it being a problem for his son. That's actually a genius thing. That's just wanting to win.

They were like, what do you mean? And he was like, there's got to be something we can put up. Correct. Yeah, what do you mean? None was like there's got to be something we can put up correct yeah what i like nothing of none none of what you're saying is crazy yet dude come on what do you mean an outdoor stadium on the lake yeah just figure it out put a roof up put a fucking sail up there i don't know you want to win games a wind catcher but they but they thought it was like like sarcastic at first like joking he was dead serious oh i would never have thought it was sarcastic at first, like joking. He was dead serious. Oh, I would never have thought that was sarcastic.

I would have been like, yeah, let's look into it. He wants to be put in the best position to win. Yeah. Yeah, get to the crazy part already, Dante. Seriously. No, I thought that was good. What else would you say to Dan to why people think you're crazy? Should we just open up what your most recent unpublished blog is?

Oh, yeah. How many blogs are you getting through these days? I know what not to even attempt to write anymore. Yeah? Yeah. You should start your own like Creed thoughts, Dante thoughts for all the unpublished blogs. Yeah, but there was a good one actually about Kim Fox getting a soda thrown at her face and charging the guy with a felony and all the real crimes that she's let off with nothing or given a misdemeanor.

I tried to blog that and that didn't. What's the best blog that you've ever blogged that didn't get published wow um that's a fucking tough one yeah so many good how many of your blogs haven't been published like the the dream team the best game no one ever saw during covid when my businesses were closed and i was just fucking it was like therapeutic to sit there and just write a lot and get published. Yeah. But what's the one where you're like, man, they really should have.

Let me come back to you on that. I got to put some thinking in. There has to be an opus the world has never seen. Do you have a manifesto yet? No, dude. I'm not. You should get a manifesto. Why?

What would be in it? I don't know. The same sentence over and over and over. Do a notepad manifesto. Yeah's that like on your phone yeah it's just never been done before i hate right now who do you think's gonna win the election dude i don't know hopefully the fucking meteor hits us sometime in october is that media yeah i thought it was media with the accent he was using earlier. The media. Some slime. A meteor. Asteroid. Asteroid. Asteroid.

Yeah. I saw you in the white dudes for Kamala's Zoom. You and Jerry sitting on each other's laps. I'm not a Trump guy. I'm a RFK Jr. guy. The brain worm. That's why people think I'm crazy. Yeah, that tracks

real hard. There we go yeah yeah why is his voice like that he's got like an actual disease from a vaccine right yeah he claims it was he but he's like he's he's like nuts when it comes to vaccines i'm not i'm not i'm not with all that i'm fully undecided hook me up why rfk uh first i'm an independent like he is that's not selling me i like that he sees both parties for what they are he's been pushed out and it's stupid the two-party system is absolutely the most moronic thing ever and he's been pushed out and like blacklisted i just can't get past the voice like i gotta be honest whenever i hear him talk i'm like if he could talk regularly and it's no fault of his own i think he would be a lot more compelling i agree it's very it's nails on a chalk it's really hard to get through yeah yeah i agree yeah imagine hearing those presidential speeches it's like he sounds like he's in extreme

pain every time he talks right true he is married to is married to Larry David's wife from Curb. Yeah, that's a big hit. That's a huge plus. He's jacked. He is jacked. Yeah, he is. Super jacked. Yeah, there was a moment where he was like,

I might just win the presidency from bench pressing. And I was like, he might. Because what we've got right now, this might actually work. He does push-ups on his fingertips, i i bet you could do i can't do that i bet i could the presidency should be at feats of strength i would say like big three lifts we don't know who kamala is going to have but the previous biden kamala i think he could outlift president vice president of both of the other candidates on his own wow yeah think of that yeah yeah because biden's putting up like negative numbers yeah i bet jd vance can push some weight

i don't know he's a marine yeah he was oh yeah he's a thick boy yeah we talking squat i'm saying squat deadlift well let's take out power clean him bench. He is like 70 years old. Yeah. You said the big three lifts. That is squat, bench, and deadlift? Those are the three big lifts? I believe so, yeah. Okay.

Us lifters, we know. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing here, Dante? About to interview Brandi Cyrus. Nice. Wow. Oh, she's performing, right?

She did yesterday. Figured you'd be at SummerSlam. Who is, last question for you, Dante, what's the last thing that someone's done at Barstool that you've been like, I'm done with them forever? So this is his thing. The Dante Blacklist.

Causing problems. We got a popcorn machine here and he texted Hank and he's like, don't ever talk to me again. The only person mad over a giant popcorn machine. Have you ever seen a group of people that twist words around you? It's an Italian discrimination. I've known them for 30 minutes longer than

you. I trust them. It's an Italian discrimination against Dante. It's not what I said at all. I was pissed for a different reason but I never said don't ever talk to me again. But yeah, no, anti-Italian discrimination is a real thing around here. You think so? Oh, I know so.

But I'm used to it. It's fine. It's not like it came out of nowhere. I don't really have anybody that... I think it's like, like I saw that shit yesterday or the day before with Jeff and Coleman, like fucking the pent up animosity people have around here is crazy. Wow.

Do you have any coworkers? People say like flying off the handle in the heat of the moment. Like this shit Nate said to me when I walked into the New York office, it's like, where does this come from? Yeah, just pent up. People are very, very angry. I don't know why. You guys have, like, the best jobs in the world.

But just Nate? No, it's a lot of people. It's a lot of people. Who else? I mean, would you think, like, Jeffff d lowe is that mad of a fucking person to get set off like that dude he fucking went on a rant tour coleman to shreds was like i think that was a little displaced too i think he was mad that dave got him yeah but he went he attacked yeah he attacked the fucking he punched down at coleman instead of going after dave dave

was the one talking shit yeah but cole but Coleman started the whole thing, right? I don't know. The process? I don't remember. By the way, I have the exact quote, so I want to make sure Dante isn't misquoted. You're right. You didn't say you were dead to us. You said.

Oh, he's going to prep sheet. Also, fuck you guys. Done with you all. That nuts on Clark thing today was final straw. Dude, I didn't. What's going on? I'm reading the text right now you said to Hank bullshit I swear to God

Dante you were right these are your words final straw you were right Dante people do have a lot of pent up anger you guys really didn't check with me because of the popcorn machine in the office? No, I've heard it all. Fucking bullshit.

What's the logic? Why are you so mad about that? I think you had a Garrett's deal or something. No, I hate Garrett. Oh. I'm the nuts on Clark guy. Oh. Yeah.

We already had a resident popcorn guy. No, I saw. No, no, no. What it was, I saw a picture go up with you and Shay. And who else was it? Titus. And they were like, brand new popcorn machine. I was like, motherfucker.

Mother. Why? Why? That was a joyous occasion. Should have been me next to that fucking popcorn machine. Ah, because I got introduced to the family. I felt like I put it together. Got circumvented.

It's whatever. It was the final straw. Final straw. Final straw. Done with you all. Final straw. Goodbye forever. I'm sorry.

But to tie things together, that's why people think I'm crazy. That was perfect. There you go. All right. Well, thank you, Dante. Sorry, guys. I'm having. But to tie things together, that's why people think I'm crazy. That was perfect. There you go. All right. Well, thank you, Dante. Sorry, guys. I'm having you by. No, you're the best, dude.

Love you. He is. Grab some popcorn on your way out. There's nothing better than a final straw guy that you know is never going to be the final straw guy. Oh, he's got straws out the walls. Yeah, right. That's my favorite type of people. They're like, that's the final straw.

It's like, I'll see you tomorrow. Any straws I have from Dante? from Dante And there was never a first straw Every straw is the final straw So what are you doing tonight First impressions that you get it Yeah I get it He's the best though I've known Dante for a very long time He is the absolute best

He makes me laugh genuinely He's as loyal as loyal gets Just don't make him go final strong i want the man with every last supper painting of you showing him his text and him going no oh yeah absolutely i didn't say that i'm like i'm reading it word for word he's been hanging out with white socks dave too much doing that podcast together oh man what a gem we we got to utilize him a little bit more. I agree. I agree. Jay, did you figure out GeoGuessr?

It's been a long time, I feel like. I think we're good. What if you're just like, I have five more minutes. We're close. Again, this is our first time doing GeoGuessers, so it took a while. We were just figuring out the logistics. Is that what you said, Che? Is that hitting the banner on the search bar?

I think we've lost Che. He's back in the lab back there. Do your thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What the fuck happened? Why are they laughing? Che, what'd you say?

It's an inside joke. You guys are on the outside. You're on the show. All right. Where are you laughing? Che, what you say? It's an inside joke. You guys are on the outside. You're on the show. All right. Where are you at, Che? Oh, here we go. This is not English. You can zoom in.

How do I zoom in? Oh, here we go. Okay. What are you thinking? Oh, Fiat. This is like Audi, Mercedes. Oh, but Ford. But read the word.

What is that? What do you think that is? Auto Riparizzioni. Yep. Simone Implante. Okay, so that's for sure Europe. Yeah. Whoa, what the hell?

What does it mean? It's not. You're going for like the closest area. Can I move this? Yeah. Whoa, what the hell? It's not. You're going for like the closest area. Can I move this? Okay. So it's probably Italy or somewhere. I think it's like Croatia. Okay.

What do you know about Croatia? I think that's where Tony Kukoc is from. Okay. And how does that help you here? Doesn't really. But let's go with that For Tony Kukoc signs Oh

Not far off No It was Italy? Yeah How does this work? I think this It was Italy Yeah Italy

Northern Italy Did you guys set the timer on it? Yeah so Hold on Lucas is gonna set the timer How much time was I doing yesterday? 30? Yeah

Yeah let's do that again we're giving 40. hey you got to try to get 15 000. sorry what's that you got to try to get 15 000 points 30 seconds uh He said 40. Alright. Oh god. Um... Oh, okay. This is kind of like, uh... not doing well.

That should narrow it down. Who said you here? He looked at the roof. Oh, so this is kind of like not doing well. He's in a flabella. Somewhere south. Lucas, we don't even need Stephen Chay cam We just need to hear him

Bolivia Alright You're kind of heating up You are playing good ball Let's see if you can get one country right that's not US or Canada Okay Oh this is good old USA That's it that's all it took trees and grass you might as well make your guess this looks like this could be a lot of

things yeah some mountaineers where is that a race where's any mountain there what are mountaineers as flat as fuck What are mountaineers? It's as flat as fuck. What is mountaineers? They're driving on the right side of the road, so it's gotta be U.S. Yeah. And you got the mountaineers. I think the majority of the world is on the right side of the road. Yeah.

And a lot of places have grass. This might be U.S. It could be. Oh! Oh! Steven, can I give you... Actually, no, I'm not gonna give you a tip. Oh, God.

Oh. What kind of dog is that? The dog's going to help you? What kind of dog is that? And Stephen Chay, by the way, does not know dogs. He never owned one. He thinks they hump couches all the time. What are you thinking with that home?

Tough scene. No dryers. I mean, it's tropical. No dryers? Oh, close. Oh, got it. Oh, goodness. I don't know about that.

Why? Philippines. My guys. My boys. All right, zoom in on that creature. Oh, okay. That's another dog. That's the same dog.

It's wild. New York. Hey, hey, hey! Whoa, oh no! Oh, no! Oh, come on, dude. You don't have to use the cursor to look at it. You just outed that guy.

Alright, somebody's gotta be riding a fucking like stunt motorcycle. This is Asia somewhere. It's just a motorcycle recency bias is kicking in now philippines and yeah it's gonna go right to asia columbia one second che wow wow kyle oh you use yellow plates oh yeah and also i think it's on the bottom oh really yeah they do yellow plates that say columbia say it is. But they're not the only country that does that. No, no, no.

No, that could have been in New York City. Owen? What? That doesn't say... Does that say Owen? Uh-oh. Calm down. The boy does say Owen.

He just read graffiti. Oh, Maxi Auto. What the fuck is that? That changes everything. Right side. Let's check out these people You only got 14 seconds Dark hair person Do you need more time

Should we get a hair Is that a job Is that a job Dark hair person Mexico No Pretty close You know.

Lucas, give him a minute. Spanish speakers. He's too pressed. We need to see him explore more. Pretty close. I mean, they're both Spanish speakers. Yeah. Totally different countries. What else is in the Venn diagram?

Different continents. Oh different countries. What else is in the Venn diagram? Different continents. Oh, goodness. Oh. Music box. Music box. Yeah, you're right. Textiles. I agree.

Are these all current pictures? These are all current pictures, right? Why does that matter? It's not live. No, all those cars are from the 70s yeah well the reason you're not allowed to say shit if a place is advertising dvds they're not going to be like the most current like they're not going to be doing that well because it's all steven chay's entire thing is just whether they're doing well. How well they're doing. It's a third world country if they're still on DVDs.

They don't have Blu-ray yet. Okay. This is Europe, I believe. Okay. Let's zoom in here. Five seconds, Chay. Let's go to Czechia. Tunisiaia Tunisia

Damn He's never gonna get one We stop when he gets one Yeah Oh, these are the streets of Paris Oh no Damn it Is he gonna get this?

You just assume he's right This could be any city I don't think he's right I think he's right. I think he is. I've been to Paris. It looks like this. Oh.

You think any other European cities could look like this? I love how graffiti fucks him up. Graffiti can literally say anything. It just goes, oh. Oh, Portugal. Oh, no. Good find. He's got to find it. He's got to find it. Portugal, say 22 seconds or Portugal. Oh, no. Good find. He's got to find it. Portugal, say.

22 seconds or Portugal. He's got to find it. Oh, boy. Spain, right? Very near. Yeah, boy. Yeah. Oh. You shouldn't get that one.

You said Paris. Light one. You said it was Paris. Light work. Steven, you're a gem at this. You had to just find the name of the country. Which he also had in the Columbia license plate. I did not see that said Columbia. Damn. That was fun.

That's a fun game. Yeah. It's fun for us, too. Or it's a website, yeah. Okay, never mind. What? I was going to say they don't have that for PlayStation, but that's stupid. My God.

Just play on your computer. You want to play it on PlayStation? Well, no. Just like hypothetically. I don't know where that came from. I've heard of it. I've never played it. You were playing it on a computer.

Yeah, you could play that at home. You have one of those. You could play it on your phone. Yeah, that's true. Is it an app or not? I don't know. Games are only played on PlayStation. You want to do the High Noon ad? Yeah. Do it.

Do that shit. High Noon. Bring the fiesta anywhere you go with the all-new high noon tequila seltzer fiesta pack this variety eight pack features two new tequila flavors blood orange and prickly pear alongside two tequila favorites grapefruit and lime all are made with real tequila and

real juice perfect for any fiesta visit the high noon tequila seltzer fiesta pack nearest you at high noon spirits calm high noon sun's up. You good? Should we spin the wheel? Do you want to run the gauntlet? Oh, yeah.

I'll do the gauntlet. All right, all right. Yeah, yeah. Do the gauntlet. So you're friends with Kyle Scanlon. Yeah, yeah. Who ran. Yes.

Who did really, really well. Yeah, we love Kyle. I rank him one and you two. Yeah, yeah. Who ran. Yes. Who did really, really well. Yeah, we love Kyle. I rank him one and you two. Oh, fuck. I feel like I've been had by a comic. Who's the best comic that we've had run it? Soder? Sam Talon was really good.

Sam Talon was. Oh, Best Time? Yeah. Soder was historically bad. Sam Talon, I think that's best comic. Oh, wow. Best Tal? Yeah. Soda was a story for the best. I think Best Comic. Oh, wow. Best Talented. Yes, Sam Talent was a beast.

I just got his book. He's very talented. Very good. Very good writer. Jay, his brain is just. I just want to watch him. He really is the weirdest. Danny, any weekend plans?

Yeah, what do you got, Danny? I think I'm going to Lala tonight. What? Yeah, Mikey Betts gave me two free wristbands because he has to do something with Frank. How old are you, Danny? I'm too old to be going to Lala, but I'm 31. Oh, yeah, you are. You should be arrested.

I might just stop in. Don't go. You can't stop in, though, because to get there... It's not that hard for me anymore. I'm in River North. Oh, okay. You're fine then, yeah. You just walk? It's just like walking in a local pub. No, that's actually... River North's where you'd walk to get an uber right from la la if i lived in any other neighborhood i would not contemplate going tonight yeah

and there's just teens on the on the l and the metro that just scared oh i don't want to be around teens oh man are they scary i'm gonna send packs there'll be a guy like just coming from work in a full suit yeah run it by a bunch of girls drinking Four Loko. Look at Brandon. Brandon's still very mad. Yeah, he is. Is Brandon more mad that he wasn't number one or that Che was number one?

Che. Both. It might be a perfect combination. Che is, yeah. I don't think Brandon understands that Che wasn't nervous. That's what he's not getting. There wasn't a single warble to Che's voice. I went into the Anus studio after you guys did your show the next day,

and I was like, Nick, are we really telling Che his stand-up was awesome? And Nick was like, no, I said he wasn't nervous. Wasn't nervous at all. So I've just been repeating that. His delivery, his composure, his confidence. He was not nervous. He was pacing around. It was like he looked seasoned.

It'd be great if he got a Netflix special. The most non-nervous comic ever. Nothing about his comics. Yeah, no one congratulates him. It's like, you weren't nervous at all, man. You weren't nervous. Nothing to do with the jokes and the quality. It's just he congratulates him. It's like, you weren't nervous at all, man. You weren't nervous. Nothing to do with the jokes and the quality. It's just he wasn't nervous.

It's the perfect compliment. Well, what do you think it would be titled, his special? It's got to be Little Skittles, right? I think it's like Alfred E. Newman, but it's like, what, me nervous? No, I think Che should market special as like a very edgy comic and just call it triggered just it's the most it's all just jokes about candy what's the deal with a midnight milky way all right tan did he explain the sporkle to you? Okay. All right. You ready? All right, hold on.

We've got to get Lucas to get the camera on you. Does Cincinnati accent have a little bit of southern twang to it? Well, it's Kentucky on the border. It is distinct now that I hear his. I wish I could have that because then you still have the perfect excuse to use y'all. Yeah. It's just a contraction. You can use y'all.

Here we go. We're ready to go when you guys are. All right. All right. Three, two, one, go. I think he's actually going to do well. He was one of the best homeschooled basketball players in the Cincinnati area. Doesn't look good right now.

It says a lot. There he goes. Soccer, soccer. Oh, he high knees it. Uh-oh. There he goes. Soccer, soccer. Oh, he tinies it. Uh-oh. He's used to his sister at goalie. Uh-oh.

Oh, no. He's not. All the balls are right there, though. That's a big advantage. Interesting music choice. Oh, baseball. Why is he running like that? He, like, kicks his ass. He's kicking his own ass. Uh-oh. Oh, baseball. Why is he running like that? He, like, kicks his ass. He's kicking his own ass?

Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is going to be a problem. Yeah. Yeah. You can tell right away with the swing. Oh, that was good.

Football. Oh, very close. Yeah, what is this music, Lucas? I like it. Nice APM rap track. Yeah. Are we stomping the yard right now? What is this?

I think we're stomping the yard. I don't know what song to use. These are the worst songs I've ever heard in my life. Disagree. This is a crazy soundtrack. We've got a problem on football. It sounds like the Donkey Kong music. Yeah.

Or like that. Remember, wasn't there like a Broadway show where like everyone was just like. Stomp. Jesus. Stomp. Yes. Stomp, yeah. They were just hitting like trash cans and shit. That's what we're listening to right now. We always, I don't watch that.

This is bad. A little further than the homeschool driveway. Yeah, he was going to take the point guard's job. Did you ever know that his name is Donkey Kong because the Japanese got it lost in translation and it was supposed to be Monkey Kong? No. Is that real? No way. I It was supposed to be Monkey Kong. No. Is that real? No way.

I never even thought about him being Donkey. Right. We need a SpongeBob narrator. Three hours later. Oh, Danny, yesterday at my house, I asked you to give me ten facts that will blow my mind today. Yep. You have them? I have about seven.

Oh, hell yes. So no, let's not congratulate a half-done job. That's true. How was last night, Danny? What did you guys do? He texted me and he said, will people still smell weed on me if I take an edible? Actually, yes.

If it's strong enough, I feel like it does. I actually didn't have an answer. If they smell your breath. If you sweat. If they smell your breath. This is horrific. Wait, yeah, he said he was. Yeah, he said.

He said he did school two days a week and basketball. A liar. You did 10,000 hours of basketball. His home games were on a Nerf rim. Yeah, had to have been. We need Malcolm Gladwell to retract his entire book just from this video. He's missed the same way every single time. He's in panic. Adjust.

He's in panic. Adjust. It's all in the front room. I love when people just don't change anything. Someone remind him of the definition of insanity. What is this shit? There we go. Oh my god.

He's got to do it again. This is nuts, dude. He's got to do it again. He's got to do it again. So long as the old narrator couldn't do it. Hey, one-handed. All right, now. Oh, wait-handed. All right. Wait.

Oh. Yeah, what's the one hand? I don't know. I feel like you'd do that with two. You could do that same thing with two. That's how his coach taught him growing up. Worse with two hands. His mom.

Caroline was homeschooled too. Right. She did this a couple weeks ago. Caroline was homeschooled too. Right. Yeah. She did this a couple weeks ago. Oh, my God. This is hard to watch. Malasek is really enjoying the touch of Che. Okay. They got to start moving in for the air balls.

Like how the outfield moves in for. This is. This is. We're almost at. This is really tough to watch. I might not be able to make Lala. Yeah. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Now we're listening to, like, the intro to FIFA. Wait, this is something. There we go. All right, Sporkle. Sporkle, you're good. All right, Dan. You did great out there. Oh, you got trivia.

Trivia. Sporkle, sit down. No, no, Dan. You did great out there. Oh, you got trivia. Trivia. Sporkle, sit down. No, no, no. Come back. Sit down. Trivia's in here. Did Brandon not tell you about this? Yeah, he did.

He was sitting. Microphone. You scared him, Nick. We need a microphone. Go, go. Dan, number three. Need your mic. Seven pro sports teams in Texas.

That's easy. Texans, Cowboys, Rangers, Mavericks, Spurs, Rockets, Astros. Three colors on the flag of Germany. Orange, black, red. Yellow, black, red. I should do it. Oh, gold. We're calling it gold

Good save How do you think that went for you Dan? That's so embarrassing I'm not looking at my phone for a little bit So we just got one question for you So What was your schedule again? Homeschooling

I would go to the soccer field then we play bags okay wait okay yeah you're not bottom even no 20 oh thank god yeah yeah you're there's always a an athlete that you'll be better than. Yeah. Ooh, do I have anyone? Will Compton. Delaney Walker. Love it.

Probably Cam Newton. Definitely Cam Newton. Oh, no, he's up there. Did I beat any comics? Tommy Pope. Oh, sweet. Fasoli and Tommy Pope. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, you beat Tommy Pope. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and Chris Tommy Pope. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and Chris O'Connor. There's been work. We've seen it all. So, Danny.

Oh, yeah. Danny has seven facts that are going to blow Nick's mind. These are all real facts, by the way, but there might be a little. You don't need to say real facts, Danny. You're right. That was redundant. There are only 25 blimps in the world. Knew that. Knew it.

There's less. Knew it. Mind not blown yet. 26 if you count Brandon Boom Roasted. Now that's a good fact. Okay. Nintendo is actually 130 years old Did not know that They were a toy company

Only a few years older than Brandon Boomroast Yes Bears in Yellowstone Eat up to 4,000 Moths a day What? Mind blown That's not possible That's almost a thousand more than Brandon eats

Is this a tryout for the act? Brandon does eat a bunch of moths. Moth eater. This is a pretty crazy one. DeMar DeRozan only has 86 less career points than Steph Curry. Oh, yes. I knew that one, but yes. Brandon still has nowhere close to either of those.

That one's got a cut deep bananas are botanically classified as berries oh so brandon if it makes you feel any better you can say that you deep throated a berry instead the boy learns quick um chainsaws were first invented for childbirth. Explain. No, no, no. Yeah, that's the original purpose of them. Second invented for Brandon trimming his toenails.

Brandon, he is getting your deepest insecurities. He is. You always try to eat your moths in secret. All right. If Wayne Gretzky never even scored a goal in the NHL and all his points only came from assist, Brandon will still be nowhere fucking close to that record. Nowhere close, dude. No.

He'd be so far away still. No. Is that all of them? This one's iffy. A chicken once lived with its head off for 18 months. This one's actually a compliment, Brandon. That's nothing. Brandon once spent 28 years without a head.

Boom, roast. First blowjob at 28. Oh, you gave your first at 20. All right. That was good. It's good. Very well. Well done, Danny.

Thank you. Good facts. The moth fact is crazy no that is enough 4,000 moths they would be extinct how do they there's a lot of moths

really a lot of moths ever been to a college campus yes they turn on the porch light oh yeah thousand right there wow holy shit Danny

why a college campus so true college campus yeah I was at college going to one of these state schools any light really no

Charleston Illinois Illinois, man. Eastern Illinois. A lot of moss. That was great. Are you performing anywhere tonight? Yes. I am opening for Daniel Simonson at the Lincoln Lodge. Okay.

And if anyone's going or if anyone is planning on going, hasn't bought tickets, go buy tickets. If you're going, please do not mention the gauntlet when he's on stage. Okay? Do not do that. Yeah. I would hate to do my jokes. I would love to talk to you about the gauntlet. I hope someone asks.

How do you feel doing stand-up the same night as Lala? It's like Brandon having to do wrestling same day Che gets his grill alright alright Danny similar audience that was the only one that's the only reference I could have made from this episode you have the same exact demo

as Che's grill alright let's spin the wheel, Lucas. Good yak. Oh, boys? No. Boys. Okay. I can't wait for corn or jamaica.

Okay. Hawk is in here. Wait for Titus? Should I remove it or hide it? Titus. Mark is in here. Wait for Titus? Titus is the towel whipper. Yeah, remove it and then just spin for all of us and we'll see who has to get whipped on Monday by Titus. And Dan has to come back and get whipped. Yeah.

Deal. Dante getting whipped would be something. Is this Eliminator? I don't know how you'd handle that I think it's just one It'd be the final straw Alright great, Monday Dante gets whipped A new final straw

That's awesome This is ideal See everyone, have a great weekend We'll be right back. It's the act Get your straws, yeah, style a tape for a while It's the act It's the act It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop, we're doing Yankee Swap It's the act

It's the act Thanks for having me, Yak. See you next time.