The Yak - One Month Trial Ethan Returns To Talk Business | 3-30-22

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Whoa. Whoa. What's that? Wind it up. Is that a creep? This is just the eventual Owen squeeze out going on? Jeez. I'm coming. I was going to start the show with something that made me want to puke, but I'm not going to say it. So how are you going to start the show with it?

Stephen Chay is probably eating pussy right now. Oh, he probably is. Can we call him? Can we call him? Can we call him? Oh, what's up, guys? He was telling me about his method yesterday. No. He says he goes at a perpendicular angle.

So he turns his body fully sideways and kind of. Stop it. I'm going to send him a video of me doing it so he can break it down. All 22 seconds of it. Teeth that you use. Damn. Gross, dude. He is definitely fucking.

I mean, he was posting about it online today. He is playing his cards. Oh, wow. A couple guns from Pete. Business skeet. Sup, fellas? Hey. TJ, what do you got, TJ?

What's your surprise? Ron, if you want to reach behind KB's chair. What? Oh, we got a surprise. A person surprise? Not me. Is this a gun? By the way, everyone, if you're wondering, yes, Brandon got a haircut.

It's a solid 4.5 out of 10. That's a little bit low. Usually your day after haircuts are bad. It's the plaque. Oh, there it is. Really? It's the plaque. Oh.

Wow, the gold plaque. The millions. Yeah. Look at that. Oh, my God. Should we just scratch out Barstool Sports and put the yak plaque. The millions. Yeah, look at that. Oh, my God. Should we just smash out Barstool Sports and put the yak on? We should.

I was going to say, can you smash that? Can you break that? Can you break that thing? Don't punch it. Don't punch it. Why? Idiot. Come on.

It's what we do. It's not double reinforced. It's what we do. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We worked so hard. No, come on. Come on what we do. Oh no. We work so hard. No, come on. Come on. Let's test it out. We have to test it. We're anarchists, KB. We need a second one. This is the man trying to

pat us on the back. We've got to fucking break that shit. Give it a good knock. Let's hear it. Oh boy. I could get that. That's the greatest test you've ever had. It's like a thin ply of like... It's probably for the best. He would hurt himself.

If we hit 10 million, it's just iron. It's an iron sheet. Yeah, it's a beam. They're going to just keep upping it on you. You're a pussy boy. Oh, stop. I mean... What if there's something hidden inside?

Oh, it's a golden ticket. Any sort of ticket, really. Gucci shoes used to have a gold leaf in the heel. Is that true? Nick knows that. He had a pair of vintage Gucci's on the desk.

Gucci's? You should do more golden tickets. I thought I won more money on St. Pete's than I did on some loafers. Damn. Oh, because everyone else won?

Yep. That sucks. Yeah, it does. A contest is the ultimate dick tease. If you're the first one that wins, you start making plans for the day. I thought I had $25,000. One.

Venmo'd my sister $1,000. We won a lot of money. Yeah. But it's all gone now. After the loafers. After the loafers. The loafers. The golden-heeled loafers.

We're the mid-sized girls. Oh. Let's turn the cameras off. Let's all do a fat line off this thing. I think we have to. Wow. That's definitely what Logan Paul and them did. Yes.

Like Malajack. They hit 100 million. Yes. I heard David Dobrek broke someone's arm with his when he hit 100 million. No, he killed a puppy. But it's okay because he gave the owner of the puppy a Tesla. Yeah, and then he gave that toothy-ass smile he does. He bites his tongue.

Simple ass, threesome heaven. I hate the Dobrik. Credit to David Dobrik. He's figured out that if you just give away enough Teslas, people won't cancel you. Him and Mr. Beast. Him and fucking Ethan. Dude, Ethan, I listened to him. I didn't listen yet.

One more trial, Ethan. Oh, that Ethan. I was talking about Dobrik's Ethanrik hasn't ethan yeah yeah we all like one month trial ethan but he he is that guy has lucked into so many chances yeah he just does not make sense to me love him he told me he was you see him all the time right i tried to give him so much advice i told him like here do this do this do this didn't do any of it and now he's like back and maybe moving to florida with dave it's like i guess i'm i guess i was wrong to give the advice because he's found a way to the top he beat your method yeah by just doing nothing we went out with him for his 21st birthday and uh we both went in we got too drunk went home he just hung

out with our boy maresh and stayed with him for like three days yeah stayed with him he just he's uh exists his best quality is having people take an interest in him right and people do take an interest in him people are he's just he bubbled indifferent on that career thing for every single one yeah he couldn't be more indifferent. His whole thing where he went on Dave's show, he's like, yeah, they just cut off my email. And Dave's like, that's crazy. Why would they do that? Because he literally just didn't do anything for two years. And we were like, again, I respect the fact that he's now back because I do like him.

But the way he puts it is the way he was like, yeah, I couldn't believe they cut off my email. It's like, dude, I can't believe you had an email. Still, the all-time moment was when I was like, have a good Christmas break. And he just responded, break? There's no rest for me. And he just didn't blog once. Not once. He lives his whole life resting.

He's like the parents in Charlielie and the chocolate factor he's going to be like 87 in his childhood bed even got put on a quota didn't he got put on a quota his last month it was like you got a block this many times and he just didn't yeah to be fair though i mean he wasn't getting paid so i would be mad if someone was always on my ass when i wasn't getting paid i was never on his ass i'm not saying you i think other people i was always like trying to help him you're right but also this job like you gotta want it well also if he had done like he did one percent of work if he had done five percent of work he probably would have been paid he didn't want money yeah he didn't want anything he was fine he's still content with not having a salary

right he's just i think he just probably likes his parents, which is kind of cool, I guess. His little brother? Well, his brother's about to go to college, so he's about to get his own room. Oh, that's huge. So that's going to be tough. It's been a long game. He's going to have to up the price. We should send him on tour.

Yeah, he could go on tour. That works. Do what? If Ethan had popped back then, if Ethan had done work, would Owen have ever happened? Would we have had Owen? I don't like to go. Owen was inevitable. Owen was inevitable.

This is apples and oranges. If Ethan did pop, he would have probably been part of the Yak. Right. I think he would have. If he was in your guy's universe in a little bit. If Ethan popped, I might not have been hired. True. He was KB's original.

KB and Ethan, that's right. That sounds good. Yeah, it does sound good. It would have kept you away, not Owen away. Right. Owen's inevitable. No, because he probably would have produced anus. No.

No. He wasn't going to produce anything. Oh, he wasn't going to. I guess under this like... God, no. No, not even. Oh, under this thought experiment, it's like Ethan tried a little bit.

Right. Maybe he would have. It's impossible, though. I think that there's like Ethan tried a little bit. Maybe he would have. It's impossible, though. I think that there's a part of his brain missing. Well, and again, he has, like, we've all given him advice, and he's just completely ignored all of it, and he still is somewhere, somehow back into Dave's circle. So credit to Ethan.

He's actually, he should write, like, a success. No, it's amazing. Everything we describe about him is hateable, yet everybody still likes him. Hey, Chris, say a joke. A joke, funny man. Tell a joke, funny man. Tell a joke real quick.

We have a stand-up mic. This is a very funny stand-up comedian, Chris DeStefano. Can you tell us a joke? Yeah, tell us a joke, bro. What do you got? Oh, no. Oh, do you want to play you got? What do you got? Oh, no. Oh, do you want to play slap wheel? Ooh.

What's slap wheel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have a wheel and then you slap each other. No, dude. Not at all. Oh, good. But I want to do that and I'll come again. No thanks.

I don't need to come. What do you guys, this is nice, dude. What are you guys talking about? We're about to do some lines off this gold plaque right here. Yeah, we got a million subscribers. We're about to turn off the cameras and do some fucking bumps. We actually want to destroy it if you're strong enough. Punch good?

No. Punch down. No punch good, man. All right. Look at you guys, man. I like it. Yeah. I like your face.

Hey, look. It's 20 guys. Here we go. I have a comment. 20 guys. No, shit. You have a blogger face. You look like Portland.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one? You know what I mean? Painter. The guy that defended Will Smith. You're like one of those idiots. I'm like, oh, he's jokes. If somebody talked about that about my girl, I'd be going crazy.

You would. You wouldn't have a girlfriend, dude. No way. He's got rickets. You're fucking nuts. Do you have a girlfriend? No. He's got rickets. Whatever you want nuts. Do you have a girlfriend? No. He's got rickets.

Whatever you want to do. What are you doing in here? What are you in here for? Doing KFC. Nice. Fuck yes. KFC show, folks. Love that guy.

Come see me in Indianapolis, April 8th, christycomedy.com. All right, let's go. Yeah. Come on, you white people. Shit. Great. All right, have a good day. All right, thanks, Chris.

I love you guys. Thank you. All right. Chris. Oh, there we go. We got you a laugh track. You couldn't hear it. You opening for McAfee?

I wish. I wish. Fucking that guy. You look like a dumb Gary Vee a little bit. You know what I mean? What the fuck? I didn't ask for crowd work. Like a bullshit Gary Vee.

Fuck you. What do you do for a living? You try to have a joke where I walk out, but it's just like you look like an asshole. You know what I mean? Like you didn't make it in Victoria like one of those guys. Dummy. No, I would love to get on Pat McAfee's show. I was tweeted at him a hundred times.

He never wrote back because he's racist. That's what I say. He's racist against his own people. And people say I look like him. Oh, you got another laugh track going. There you go, dude. Killing it. Thank you.

I love you. Bye. Thanks, Chris. Bye. Go follow Chris Stefano on go, dude. I love you. Bye. Thanks, Chris. Bye. Go follow Chris Stefano on Twitter, Instagram. Put in for Sean Lee. $20 chef. What were you saying, Owen? Why'd we invite that guy in? I'm pissed off.

He flamed us, Nick. He just basically took a bazooka to you two. You got destroyed. These ironic bastards. Said I look like Portland. He's the opposite of ironic. He's very straightforward. No way you have a girlfriend? Yeah. He just came look like Portland. He's the opposite of ironic. He's very straightforward. No way you have a girlfriend? Yeah, like, he just came in here and said facts.

What's funny about that? They don't care about your feelings, brother. Oh, man. I like that guy. He's funny. Yeah, for sure. Any more stand-up comedians just circle through here. My roast was all right. 9-11 stories, like one of the funniest.

What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you retell it? Do you have it? Do you have it? I did in L.A. We lost the tape. We never listened to your confession, Ron.

You want to hear it? Yeah, sure. I'm going to do some. You actually have it? I do. Send it to TJ. It's five minutes. Send it to TJ.

You've sinned a lot more than that, Ron. Five minutes in a confession booth is a long time. The guy came twice. Wait, Ethan once hosted, co-hosted the Yak? Yeah, that was a- Barstool Radio. Oh, yeah. And he did like a pitch to Dave to be paid again.

And then I think the office closed the next day and it's never- Oh, my God. Yeah. Dude wipes. We gave the plea yesterday. But the more people that use our promo code, the more money the yak will start to produce. The more times we can say, no, we're not going to Ghana. We're doing the yak.

Yeah. So yak 20 for 20 percent off your entire order. Do you have it? Well, let's do the wheel, and then we'll do it. When did I go to confession? It was a while ago. It was a while ago. Very long.

It's like the week after the Super Bowl, so like February 20th or something like that. All this fucking good-ass footage I have on my phone. Holy shit, bro. I am just going to go to confession. My life is hilarious, bro. This shit is fucking sick, bro. All right, so the wheel? Yeah, let's get this thing over with.

Do that shit. Spin that shit. That's not going to bother you at all. I got to get LASIK. That's not going to bother you at all for the rest of the day. I'm cool. Gary Vee's cool, too, so you're good. Type of Gary Vee?

Shitty, low-ranked. Low-ranked Gary Vee. But also that you were on Euphoria. And you didn't make it to Euphoria. Did you see everybody has become the sex symbol? Yeah. Did you see everybody going crazy for that guy from Euphoria's interview with the Oscar red carpet? He's just being a dickhead to the interviewer.

No. Oh, is it Angus? Is that his name? Yeah, people go crazy. I love this energy. He's just being a dickhead to the interviewer. No. Oh, is it Angus? Is that his name? Yeah, people go crazy. I love this energy. He's just being a cocksucker to the interviewer. I don't know.

Yeah, his appeal is that he's dumb and doesn't care. Yeah, it was the worst thing ever and everybody was going crazy. Like Marty Mush? Whoa. Say that one with your chest. Oh, man.

Marty Mush is a nice person to interviewers. I love Marty Mush. I thought it was an easy joke. Damn. I thought it was an easy joke. Rise and fall of Brandon and Marty Mush. No, no, no, no, no, no.

We have a tremendous spot right now. I heard you were feeding information to Ohio State. Yeah. That guy. What do you got about that guy? I don't know. I just – That guy's careful.

That guy dropped a nuclear bomb last week and now just – is just standing back looking at the Rebel. Went back into his bunker. He's full Kaczynski'd us. Speaking of nuclear bombs, Putin. Yeah. No, I got Vindog on Coach K. Are we getting nuked soon?

Did Putin say he's going to nuke somebody? I don't know. No, they're kind of pulling back a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, they're pussying out. What? And they're stopped. You want to call them out?

You want to call them bitches? Vlad. DJ, zoom the camera in. Yeah, get his ass. And actually, can you just put actually Joe Biden underneath his? So that way we can really... We got an asterisk. Yeah.

This is actually Joe Biden speaking to... Vladimir, you short motherfucker. Whoa. Pussy bitch. Oh, shit. Stop, bro. Don't put this on us, dude. You won't do it.

Oh, dude. No, chill, bro. Stop doing it. Hey! Dude, don't put this on us. Oh, no. You coward. You're a Soviet-era weapon.

We're going to have to stand behind this. He definitely has modern weaponry. He loves to poison. That's the worst way to go. Poison? Yeah. Or, like, snipe from close range. We might get the first 211 episodes of Anus.

They're on Hunter Biden's laptop. Oh. Yeah, they are. Those were brought up in Supreme Court today. Wow. You guys see that video? I didn't. What was the video? It was about the laptop.

Trump's presidential decree about his hole-in-one was fucking awesome. He's so funny. That ruled. He had to put out a statement. It's like there's a strong breeze a five iron into the strong breeze every time i do something sick i'm gonna have to yeah it's so funny was ernie else there ernie else is there he's competing against ernie else yeah that's like

that's one of those ones that you know if you can't find fun humor in that one and if i were the former president anytime i did anything i'd be like hey statement yeah statement the last line of his statement was the best because he was like i won't say who won because you know i don't like to brag captain beers in uh spider he's in bench bob he'll be out in a second yeah many people are asking many people are 100 true i have to do i have to release a statement like this after i win my next game of the year it's 100 true yeah there it is i also where's the part approximately 72 other tournaments uh wait what was it what was

the last line's amazing yeah i won't tell you who won because I am a very modest individual. So funny. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the seventh hole, which is playing 181 yards into a slight wind. Next sentence, I hit a five iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind. The wind picked up. It picked up as soon as he got to the last wing. He bounced twice and then went clonk into the hole.

Oh, wait. He wrote clonk. Clank, yeah. Oh, is it clank? I think it's clank. You're doing some onomatopoeia. TJ, did you get this? Is that the first sound effect in a presidential statement?

Yeah. No, no, no, no. When JFK got shot. Ouchie. When did he put in a Oh no, John, your head! It's gone! That was still the best. Trill Withers, when he had that

Twitter thread about Jackie O having a fucking fat ass while trying to put JFK's brains back in his head. Drop the top, Jackie. Let's flex a little. Oh, man. All right, spin this wheel. Let's get it over with.

It would be funny if we got wet today after. How would... Reset? Reset yesterday. Yeah, because it doesn't reset on a wet. It just, you keep going. All right. Okay.

A little closer. I would love to slap. I want to scaffold slaps the intensity until I'm just comfortable getting punched in the face. Yeah, let's load up the immunity. It's like guys that eat a little bit of poison. Captain Beer, he went on bench ball. Which one's Captain Beer?

Who the fuck is Captain Beer? Oh, that guy's a man. Last night was his last game. No. Ruins the illusion. Captain Beer. Last night was his last game. It's like being in the phone booth with Superman.

Last night was his last game, and he was like, we got a succession plan, though, for Captain Beer. Wait, like being in the phone booth with Superman. Last night was his last game, and he was like, we got a succession plan, though, for Captain Beer. Wait, his last game ever? He's a senior. Oh, he's a college student? Yes. That's like the mascot thing? He passed it on to somebody else now.

He created it, and yeah, he said he's got a succession plan. Oh, that's a super fan. I told very much a Rico moment. I was like, hey, Captain Beer's going to come by. I told him to come by because I knew they were at the NIT. You guys should have him on BenchMob. And Rico just doesn't understand the humor in a super fan. Like, super fans are some of the funniest people in the world.

Yeah. They are. And to be a super fan of St. Bonaventure's basketball. Yeah, Ron's done full series on it. Yes. They're the best. Like, people who dedicate their lives. Bonaventure's basketball. Yeah, Ron's done full series on it. Yes. They're the best. Like, people who dedicate their lives. They're just actually crazy people.

Yeah. Like, a way to kind of... More obscure. They're crazy for good. Yeah, concentrated craziness. Like, we're lucky that they have those teams, because imagine if they put that obsession to something else. Right.

And they're all right on the edge of... So many more dead John Lennons. Yeah, I love superfans. Like a dead Lawrence Tynes or some shit like that. Yeah. Just dead random ass. All the Lawrences. Dead Lawrences.

Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah, Trevor Lawrence. There was no women in Lawrence of Arabia. Lawrence Phillips. Not a single woman in that movie. It'd be good to kill Lawrence Phillips, though. Is he dead in jail? Ily rated. He's dead. He that movie. Good to kill Lawrence Phillips, though. Is he dead in jail? Dead.

He's dead. He die in jail? Who's Lawrence Phillips? You don't know Lawrence Phillips? Pope Lawrence Phillips. Original woman beater slash football star. One of the electric Nebraska running back. One of the all-time greats at both woman beating and football.

Yeah, bad guy. Great football player. Robin Thicker is up, too. Robin Thicker. That was a super fan. Yeah, bad guy. Great football player. Robin Ficker is up too. Robin Ficker. Oh, that was a super fan. Yeah, Robin. Washington Bullets. He's been dead for seven years. He's like a super fan for like Maryland's wrestling team. Oh, he looks dope. He looks like a good football player.

Is that how you knew Robin Ficker? He's like a heckler for... He was a heckler that sat behind the... Oh, he does other sports too? He did the Washington Bullets slash Washington Wizards. Oh, he's famous. Okay. Yeah, he's a famous superfan.

That's just a picture. Who's the most famous superfan now? It's got to be Marlins man, right? But he's a superfan. In the world? He's a superfan of sports. Superfan of a team? The guy.

Fireman? The man that wears the turban at the Raptors games. Oh. He has like a statue. He's like a tycoon in the auto industry. You could argue Jackson Mahomes is probably the most well-known. I don't think he likes football. He likes Patrick Mahomes.

He likes it as much as Marlins. Yeah. I mean, people in Marlins, man. This is a very office. Definitely a massive super fan. Jackson Mahomes came out chicken fry. What? Huh?

We have to go nuclear on Jackson Mahomes? That's our queen. He came on Chicken Fry? He went after her. Very funny, Brandon. Very fucking funny, Brandon. He gets sexual. You know Jackson's in a relationship.

Red Extreme is the guy who got banned from the Chiefs because he... I can't even remember. We had him on Part of My Take. That was a wild one. Ryder Strong is the guy who was in Boy Meets World. Yeah. Who's the most famous super fan right now wait what is this it's just i'm singing but then he said in the caption i'm ready to be friends you down and then somebody commented and said get jackson on bffs and he said is it that

time i'm aware now and then jack mack, you ain't a shooter with a bunch of laughing emojis. I like TJ narrating. Jack Mack. Is this how people are coming at people now? They're just dancing? Yeah. What is going on in the video? They're both singing this song.

Yeah, but is it? Oh, you can't play it? I thought you said they had beef or like. We get one second of that song? I like what she do to me. And stop. That's the beef? So are they collabing?

That's a nice band. It looks like a collab. He's. That's the beef. So are they collabing? That's a nice bathroom. It looks like a collab. He's also been hitting the weights. Yeah. Well, also probably the diet, too. His diet looks good. On incline. He's been hitting the operating table.

I'm sorry. Are you okay, man? Why? Why today? Your haircut's okay? You slap KB again? Yeah, you've been doing great. Okay, I'm fine. I'm good. I'll let you slap KB again Your haircut's okay? You slapped KB again? Yeah, you've been doing great, man. I'm okay.

I'm fine. I'm good. I'll let you slap KB again. I don't want to slap KB again. I didn't like slapping KB. Fans loved it. I loved it, too. You did?

I got a little headache. Yeah? What's wrong? I've been fighting. I have a little headache. Do you have a son? No. It's the anticipation of a big trip this weekend and a strip.

Oh, because you're buying a house. Where are you going? I just help you. I'm not sleeping. No, I'm going're buying a house. Where are you going? I just help you. No, I'm going to WrestleMania this weekend. Where are you going? I'm thinking of a house. I'm taking my daughter. Oh, nice.

When you say headache, is it always a physical headache, or is that a blanket term? Are you referring to stress and anxiety? Right now I have a physical headache. You're just being a pussy. I have a physical headache. Okay. Here, I'll fix it for you.

You can attest to it. I got here today. I was spicy all day. You were angrier this morning. What are you doing? No, that's not. It's acupuncture. You can attest to it. I got here today. I was spicy all day. You were angrier this morning. What are you doing? No, that's not. It's acupuncture. Yes, that's the spot.

That doesn't work. That's your temples. Want to bet? You're really digging in. That's how I'm trying to get this away. You want to do this one? Brandon, you want a candy bar? Brandon doesn't know shit about reflexology.

You need a Snickers, big boy? I got coffee, Chris. Oh, you got a coffee, Chris? Do we have some? Yeah, you want me to go get them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Coffee Crisp. You got a Coffee Crisp? Do we have some? Yeah, you want me to go get them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's give this guy some. What do we have?

Give him some sweet treats. Let's give him a little treat. Coffee Crisp is apparently a Canadian candy bar that a fan sent me and said, try it out, and it's wonderful. So I'd love for you guys to try it. It's called a Coffee Crisp? Coffee Crisp. Wonderful.

We haven't played Guess That Candy in a long time. Yeah. We've already said the candy, though. They don't know. It'll be easy. They're not listening. They're Canadian. You're right.

They're not listening. They only tune in 25 minutes in through all the bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. So wait, is the house that you're buying, Brandon, is it on Zillow? Oh, I haven't found the house yet. Can we help you? What's your...

I'm going to go down there and find the house. How many bedrooms? Well, I need at least four. How many bathrooms? At least two. No, you need more than that. No, two would be fine. Counting an outhouse? Are you counting your own private bathroom off the master suite? How many latrines? How many holes in the ground

do you need in your backyard? At least one. For the poop? Or dead dogs? Dead dogs and poop. A masquerade for his pets. What are these? Coffee crisps? Masquerade.

Do we have one for everybody? They're for everybody. Seven. Yeah, I brought them for everybody. It's like the chocolate football. Someone sent it for you? Sent it to you? And if you only take one bite, pass it down.

Thank you, TJ. I don't want to open it. I only want some of it. Yeah, I just want a piece. I don't like how hard it is. I'll open one and I'll break it off it down. Thank you, TJ. I only want some of it. Yeah, I just want a piece. I don't like how... I'll open one, and I'll break it off for people. Dense as hell. You're touching a lot of it.

It's light, though. Actually, it's hard to break. It's hard? Then how are we supposed to... I'll split it with Roan. Here, Roan. Yes, yes. I already opened mine.

I already opened mine. I already cracked one. All right, I guess we're going to have to have whole candy bars. Mmm. It's like a wafer. It's good. There's no coffee in it. Mmm. It's like a wafer. It's good. I got coffee in it. No.

Throw them back. If you don't want them, throw them. I mean, that's just a no bullshit name. That's exactly what this is. Bullshit. Coffee crib.

Why do you say bullshit like you're cocky? No, you say bull. Bullshit. I say bull. I say like swimming pool. Pool. Um,

yeah. Bullshit. Swimming pool. This is just my... You say the N word. I say bull. I say swimming pool. Bullshit. Swimming pool. You say the N-word. Loudly. Frequently. Frequently. My nickname was N-word for the first three weeks I worked.

Oh, that's right. That was good. That was a's right. That was good. That was a good nickname. What was I in your phone? Am I still? You had me as Pedo Nick. Oh, no. I don't have you as that.

I have you as. I still have you as second KB. I have you as KB's Nick. That's fine. Yeah. He owns you. Yeah. Strong coaching tree.

I mean, think about it. KB's got Nick. One month, Ethan. Yeah, that's really good. Sass? Yeah. Sass yours? You could claim.

You want him on the ledger right now. I have him. He may never come back. Mines? On top of a mountain? Who does Owen belong to? Owen is sprouted from the ground. Yeah, Owen belongs to the people.

Stats. Yeah, Owen is on the stats tree. Katie Stats was my first interview. Didn't she say you were boring or something? She did say that. Yeah. Weak handshake, right? Yeah.

A weak handshake? That's how we're hiring. The weakest handshake. I don't have a coaching tree, but I'm trying to get somebody hired. I'm not going to say who it is. No, you do. You have your sister. Oh, I do have my sister, I guess. But I'm trying to get somebody hired, and Gaz

won't hire him, but he is going to be a Barstool idol. Also, you got someone hired and they quit. Oh, yeah. That's true. Quick was that. I got a producer hired from Starkville. She came up here. Starkville.

She worked three months, and then she quit. But she got put on Token CEO, and I'm not sure she liked it. But anyway, she quit. Wait, so you're going to have someone who you know on Barstool Idol? Yes. We're going to send him home so fast. No, you're not. Yeah.

Brandon, we can't have any outside influence he has to be the first slip yeah he's gone no no no no no no i i've been actually barcelona starts right now this guy's out does he want to get hired in new york or mississippi i here i've been working on getting this guy hired since june of last year and what does he do why were you working on anything other than solving what was most important in june of last year oh What does he do? Why were you working on anything other than solving what was most important in June of last year? Oh, good. What was most important in June of last year?

It was two years ago. Shit. Maybe if you were bold like Ben Mintz, so you're not getting hired without Playboy Marty. Dude, Ben Mintz, I think I'm, no, TJ's coming to New Orleans with me this weekend. Is it just going to be you and Ben? Ben Mintz is going, I don't, I have a feeling he's going to try to get me this weekend. Is this going to be you and Ben? Ben Mintz is going. I have a feeling he's going to try to get me to just go everywhere. Yes.

He doesn't realize I want to just go to the basketball game, get drunk, and then lay in my hotel room for many hours. We're on the precipice of maybe a hilarious thing. So Ben Mintz went out there, and they set up the tents yesterday for this Hogs for the Cause. They set up these giant white tents and they're beautiful. And today is a tornado threat in New Orleans. They're expecting 70 mile an hour straight line winds. Uh oh.

Ben's going to be the funniest getting sucked up by a tornado. Everything's about him. So funny. He looks like he already did get sucked up by a tornado. When you go, there's a place called Killer Po' Boys in the French Quarter. Are they killer?

They're the ones. There's other Po' Boys. Maybe you go out to Bon Me Boys if you have a car, but since you'll probably be in the French Quarter, Killer Po' Boys. What's your favorite Po' Boy, Ron? I just said it. No, no, no, no. What's your favorite-

Killer. Filling on the Po' Boy? Killer kind. I mean, traditional, I feel like, is shrimp. Yeah. But they have an alligator sausage one at Killer Po' Boys that is sublime. I like a fried oyster po' boy. That sounds real nice too.

That sounds real nice. There's a place called Guy's that has good fried oyster po' boys. Guy's? Guy's, yes. And it's the same guy that makes every sandwich there. Those are bad restaurant names. Guy's? Guy's and Killer Po' Boys.

Killer Po' Boys is good. I'm nervous for Ben Mintz, though. Like, he's going to try to, like, he— Hey, Big Cat, would you mind going 85 hours out of the way? Yeah, I just imagine I get off the plane, and he's standing at the gate and grabs my hand. He's like, here, follow me. And then five days later, I'm like, I want to go home. What don't you get about boots on the ground?

I mean, the guy's doing a lot. We could all fucking work like Ben Mintz. Right. He's got a fatter coaching tree than you, Brandon. That's true. How do y'all like the coffee crisp? Pretty good coffee crisp. I would love it on like an airplane or some shit like that.

Yeah, it's good. It'd be good if it was the only option. Yeah. It's a good candy bar. It's like a captive audience. It like that. Yeah, it's good. It'd be good if it was the only option. It's a good candy bar. It's like a captive audience. It's like a Stroopwafel. Set it over your tea. It kind of gets a little bit softer. Let me have another bite. KB, are you disciplined or are you torturing yourself?

I don't snack. So is that discipline or is that self-inflicted torture? There's no point in snacking. Gratification? It makes you just hungrier for a meal. You wait until you're starving hungry? What's bad about that?

We could afford meals. Yeah, and you're depriving yourself of a simple pleasure. It's a five-second pleasure. You're also going to eat a meal in a week. Pleasure none of the second pleasure. Oh, he's right. I just took a bite, and I'm like, why do I feel? Yeah.

I'm going to not snack like you. But I don't have the discipline. He's got this crazy discipline thing going on. I got it down where both of my meals are fucking amazing. I just get so excited. They're so pleasurable. What are they? My two meals a day.

That's what I'm saying. What have they been? What kind of shit have you been feeding? Whatever I eat. That's when, yeah. Why is it so much more pleasurable than your typical meal? Because I haven't been snacking all day. What I'm saying, like what have they been? What kind of shit have you been feeding for that? That's when, yeah. Why is it so much more pleasurable than your typical meal?

I haven't been snacking all day. Because of the, I eat it like four, It's not like you're eating better things. Four in like 10 or 10.30. 4 p.m.?

I've found the perfect, 10.30 p.m.? That's my personal perfect meal times. It's a fast track to the reflux, brother. You don't eat anything in the day until 4 p.m.?

Yes. Usually my first meal is at 3.30 to 4.30. That's very impressive. I don't know how you do that. I have to eat as soon as I get up. I eat lunch at like 9.30 in the morning. There was a point in my life when I was starving by 10.30 a.m. Now, once you get used to it, you're good. Also, Roan, you have discipline.

Yeah, Roan doesn't eat until 2. I made a candy bar run yesterday and you declined a Nestle Crunch, a Kit Kat, and a Snickers. Brandon, you got to drink some water. Is it in my throat? Yeah, it's hanging around. I was trying to be disciplined because I need to be more like KB, and I'm trying to learn the ways of a stoic like KB. Marcus Aurelius.

What a badass that was. Some tech guy Made my Survey app No way Your survey app's done? What? Uh huh

Why'd you not lead the show with this? My bad My bad Shit You're bad Gotta catch up on what's up We need to do it Can I

Can we download it? The way it works now You can only give top five Of whatever the question is If I change that to four It can be a Mount Rushmore thing. All right, it's live. He sent me a link that I couldn't click.

You're just going to get your shit hacked. He sent me another link that I can't click. But, yeah. Polapalooza. I like that. He said he wants me to name. Polapalooza, blind date that. Oh, that's a good name. He said he wants me to name. Polapalooza. Blind date.

No. Had some shroomies. Oh. Shroomies. That was like a type of homie. Big shroomie. All right. Someone made your app high on shrooms.

That's a tech thing. They microdose every day. That's true. Okay, so I got the login. You guys keep talking. I'm going to do this. Hey, we want to do it. I want to talk. They microdose every day. That's true. Okay, so I got the login. You guys keep talking. I'm going to do this. Nate, we want to do it. I want to talk.

I want to talk with you. My username. I wonder if I can snag just Kyle. Or KB. You guys want to do a top five to get back in the flow? Yeah. I'm just Nick on the Barstool Sportsbook, and it's the coolest thing in the world. Same.

I'm Ron. It feels great. Uh-huh. Top five Pixar movies? Wait. Speaking of, I'm sorry, speaking of usernames, Brandon, did you get your Twitter handle? I'm working on it, Gaz.

It's working on it right now. Let's go, Brandon. Here we go. How's it going? I'd like to not say what it is. I don't want a mad rush for other people trying to get it. Oh, you know that's not how it works. Oh, shit.

The other day I said I want a new Twitter handle, and every form of brandon walker possible dm me i got 35 dm saying you want this account and it's brandon i walker brandon it's just i got a bunch too on your behalf right so no i don't want to i can't say i'm working on one particular account that i've zeroed in on what is it is it brandon walker it's not brandon walker what's the account though he's trying to get just brandon it's a dead account imagine that boys send you the link if you guys want to sign up. Oh, hell yeah.

You're getting us all fished. Oh, for sure. Not like the Ben Mintz one. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. So he has just a few examples. I want to do my email. You can create your own.

Just put your email in there. Just send it to us. Oh, man. I'm going to be b-walk. Why is it just fucking numbers? It's so sketchy. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. He put this together for me. I'm going to be b-walk. Why is it just fucking numbers? It's so sketchy. Oh, dude. Oh, dude.

He put this together for me. I'm down with it. I'm not going to complain at all. You can create your own. App? Poll. Okay. Can we send this off to the masses yet?

I guess. No, I wouldn't do it yet. I will probably crash it. I'm trying to log in and it won't let me. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. You mean you're out.

I'm out. I'm in. I'm out. Too much shit. You click log in first instead of sign up. Oh, you're supposed to sign up? Sucks, dude. Okay.

What? I click sign up and now, okay, five movies you can watch for the rest of your life. Wow, I'm signed up. Top five online games. Top five worst things to run out of. What the fuck is an online game? There's six polls already. Top five cocktails.

Wait, the LLC is KB Apps. Rank the last four presidents in the United States. I'm going to do that. I'm going to rank the four presidents. All right, so this app is done. What's next? Should we tweet it out? No, wait. Let's all sign up.

Early in the testing, it looks like it was top four. Then it changed to top five. You see that? Oh, okay. I'm in. Which one do y'all want to do? Let's do five. I love this app. Yeah, five movies you can watch for the rest of your life. The whole point is that enough for a bunch of people to do it. No, I don't want to do the movies.

Okay, because that's two. Top five. Worst things to run out of? No. Air, water. Four bands. Four bands. Okay. I don't.

Wait, no, but that's too wide open. I just ranked the presidents. Hit the X, top right. The last four presidents? Yeah. What do you mean? You just say the last four? The bottom four or the previous four?

The bottom four presidents. They just want to ask you. Uh-oh, Libcat. Orangey Hart. Orange W. All right, Obama. Yeah, you got it. Hillary Clinton.

Uh-huh. The Rock. Biden. And let's throw in. How about El Presidente, brother? Throw in Reagan just to get him off the scent. Oh, that'll throw him off the scent. Not enough responses for data.

Okay. Okay, so how many... Wait, let's just make a new poll. Yeah, these are not good. Yeah, no, those are just examples. Of course. We can make our own. Create poll. So somebody create a poll. Alright, let's stop doing this on air. Why? This is the best place to do it.

Alright, fine, we won't. This is your app, Kyle. Congratulations, Kyle. We have an app. That's't. This is your app, Kyle. Congratulations. We have an app. That's awesome. When's the launch party? Oh, I tried posting a poll and it doesn't... Damn. When's the launch party, Kyle?

Yeah, when is it? I'll have to rent something out. Yeah, maybe a boat? Yeah, that's where launch parties typically are. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'll tweet it out. Get a boat.

We'll have a party for it. A launch party. By the way... I don't know if the way, congratulations to you, Roan. Thank you, brother. Kelly Green jersey's back. Oh, exciting. Incredible. Randall Cunningham's.

When are those coming back? Next year. Not this year? Not this year. Why? Why would they announce it? Why do they have to take a year? They make it seem like it's the most difficult process of all time to be able to switch the jerseys.

It's just like print other jerseys. I'm excited for those. It was some rule that they can't have a certain amount of different helmets. You were never allowed to change the shell of the helmet. Yeah. That's just dumb though. We have a black helmet. How does TJ know so much? That one's the rule everyone should know. Why do you want him to be stupid? It's my job. I don't want him to be stupid.

I'm impressed he knows everything. It's my job. It's his job to know everything. It's my job. I don't want him to be stupid. I'm impressed he knows everything. It's my job. It's his job to know everything. It's his job. You're the best, TJ. Thanks, man. Are you excited for New Orleans? Yes, very excited.

I just bought two disposable cameras. I'm going to take some pictures. Whoa. Holy fuck, that's artsy. That's artsy as fuck. They don't print nudes. They don't? Why?

They probably keep them. I thought we were done with disposable cameras. You can still buy them? They're like very in vogue. Yeah, and you hit the bottom and it does the flash. I love doing that in my homies' faces. Oh, the best. And they are back, aren't they?

In a big, big way. I have like an 80-year-old aunt that they never left for her so she held on good for her yeah it's always impressive to hold on through a down phase of a fad i haven't seen her like a year but last time i saw her she just popped it out what's up picture i have a buddy that all right are you doing kim where'd that picture go who cares like who knows yeah how'd that turn out don't know. Nope. Can't believe you said ant. Some people say it a different way.

What do they say? Ant. Ant. I'm an ant guy. Ant. We could do that for a few minutes. Ant guy. All right.

So we have ant. We could, yeah. Ant versus ant. Ogies. Ants and then there's ants. Anties. There's Jimmy's. Ant guy. Yeah.

All right. Bullshit. How else do you say it? Just bullshit. How am I saying it wrong? Bullshit. Bull. He's saying B-O-O-L shit.

You, like, roll your Ws. Bullshit. Bullshit. You add a W to your Ls. You guys roll your R's? It's a Philly thing, too. I can't roll my R's. Like, Philly, Philly.

Philly says that? Like a state tournament. You say states or state. State. State. Who said states? I'm trying to bring it back to wrestling, dude. I like it.

Oh, no. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Just bring it right back to wrestling. Always. You're like, yeah, Kyle, can you give that in a sentence? I think it states. I got something for Stalin.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Please. We're not Stalin. We're not Stalin. We're not Stalin. Whoa. Hey, wait a minute. Are we making things?

Wait, what is this? This was made and sent in by Twitter, John Rich TV. John Rich TV. Have you looked through it to make sure there's nothing that could get us in trouble? I think I met John Rich TV in Columbus, Ohio. Okay. Can this music get us in trouble? No.

It's not copyrighted on YouTube. But you've looked through the questions. Yes. How many teams? How many teams? I just imagine one yak person just totally fucking us over. Video of a guy jerking off. All the answers are just racial slurs.

God damn it. That's what I requested. Nah. I got you. Okay. You got some sick son of a bitches. I love them. There are sick son of a bitches.

All right, here we go. What are we doing? How do we do this? Teams? I don't know. The two, two, two. People are already ruining the app. What?

Up five ways to eat pussy. That's pretty good. Did you tweet out the app? Yes, he did. Top five things to put in your ass. That's good. That one's good. We make a show for monsters.

Yes. Monsters and menaces. There are no nice sprites. The yak is a digital version of one of those Rooms that you go and just break shit Let's just call it Break room We are the break room

We'll all be together Let's just do one team There's three teams right now Owen and Nick We should get these all right Me and Roan And then Brandon We've been around I'll do it with Brandon We should get these all, right? We should. Me and Roan, and then Brandon and...

I don't know. We've been around. Oh, no. I'll do it with Brandon. Why'd you bail on me like that? All right, Brandon and me. You don't like that, do you? You have a bad haircut.

I do not have a bad haircut. It looks good. Thank you. Okay, we'll take... Should we start? Who's starting? Yeah, so we have to figure out a way to buzz in. What word? Shit! We'll say the word buzz. to figure out a way to buzz in. What word?

Shit! We'll say the word buzz. All right. Why don't we just go in order? And if you miss it, the next team can steal. Okay, that works. We're in A&M basketball practice. What if they run the table and we just never...

It's Nick and Owen. Do you think they're going to run the table? All right. Beat you in trivia all the time. All right, so... I know. Owen and Nick, you start. Okay, we'll go Stephen Che for 100, please.

Of course, why wouldn't you? Stephen Che was able to purchase his house way below Marketplace. What is Flood Zone? There it is. All right. All right, no, no, no. Then you guys go. We won't sweep the board, so you guys are just up next.

Okay. Yeah, we'll just go across. Yak scenarios for 100. You forgot to close your dog's kennel gate overnight. You went out in the morning, and these are destroyed. I actually don't know this. For keys. Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. Man has. Oh, John Rich TV. We're going to take something different, KB. We're going to take a 100. Take a 100. Why do we have to take a 100? If we go across, we'll all end up having questions from each one.

This is an odd number, and there's five. Snake it. We're an unconventional team. Isn't it all Yaktra? A piece of cheese wrapped in bologna is called... Lupa. Lupa. Lupa.

Guys, this is a nice stroll down memory lane. This is fun and making me feel happy. Great. All right. So now you guys go again? Yeah, we'll snake. Yak character for 100. Yeah, yak character.

We've had some beautiful times together. Oh, my God. Is you Ronan? Owen was unable to secure. Could have if I wanted to. Yeah, I know. Wait. I know.

Jenny Jizz. Oh, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Owen. Hey, what the hell? It was the turn, Owen. It was snake drafting. Who's time?

Them. Oh. Ah, whatever. That's fine. No, we'll go in order. Is that her? It was a turn, Owen. It was snake drafting. Who's time? Them. Oh. Ah, whatever. That's fine. No, we'll go in order. Is that her? It's a good picture. It is her.

All right, big dog t-shirts for 100, please. Seinfeld. Sign fetch. He didn't say what is. Oh, my God. Yes, sir. Okay. And then we'll go big dog.

No, that's your guys. I've never been happier. Those guys will go Stephen Chay 200. Yeah, we'll do Stephen Chay 200. No, no. Okay. And then we'll go big. No, that's your guys. I've never been happier. Those guys will go Stephen Che 200. Yeah, we'll do Stephen Che 200. No, no, no. What are you talking about? No, no, no. What are you guys talking about right now?

I thought we were snaking it. We don't want to do two of the same in a row. Yeah. Whatever. Okay. Why does it matter? It does not matter. Okay, you're right.

You've ruined such a great- You can pick anyone. Stephen Che 200. Yeah. Green chili. Yep. Green chili. Yep. Green chili. Sweep this board.

Wait, chili soup isn't a thing. No, it's green chili soup. It's what it's called, yeah. It's not a chili. All right, whose turn is it? Does it matter anymore? It does. Yours.

It will go. We'll just all play. We'll do yak scenarios for 200, please. Your wife was wrongly imprisoned for something not shitty that couldn't have happened to anyone. She's in jail for a whole week. Now that you're home alone, you can finally do this. Shit in a... What is it?

Shit in the shower. Oh, yeah. Shit in the shower. What a dumb show. What a dumb show. Scott Penas. Scott Penas. A free Scott Penas.

Yak Trivia for $200, please. His real last name is like Cock or something. Yeah, his last name is Cock. Local radio station you turned in for. What is Fuck FM? Oh, man. All right, we'll do Yak Characters for $200. Took place in the last, what does that say?

Nut off. Failed to show. That's Ruiz. Oh, that's Ruiz, yeah. Who doesn't exist. He does not exist. He does. That answer shouldn't be taken because that person doesn't exist.

Sweet Potato Pat asked me if he wants to come back for Halloween. I missed him the first time. Yeah, you guys didn't see it. Can we paint his nut like a jack-o'-lantern? All right, you go ahead, guys. We'll take Yaxoneros for 500. Oh! Yeah, there we go.

You can't take it out of the nickel. Wait. Oh, no. Coming, coming, yeah. It's coming. And during the chorus of Rockstar. All over the audience. Wait, what's Yak?

So we'll do Yak tribute for 400. Shape of Hank's dog's boner. Long Cranberry. Long Cranberry, right. That's a doogs. It just lingers. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Norm. He had such a penis Let's do Yak characters 500 What happened to that dog in the breakup? I think it's Riaz I thought they just killed it Oh I know this I know this Wait

Is it Joe Sinatra? Sinatra Joe Sinatra There he is Joe Sinatra That Sinatra. Joe Sinatra. There it is. Joe Sinatra. That can't be a stage name. Oh, man. Let's go to Stephen Chay 300.

Oh, fuck. What was he? Was he a fox? No, was he a panda? He was a panda. He was a panda. Yeah. Oh, that was a tough one. The Asian guy was a panda. He was a panda. Yeah. Oh, that was a tough one.

The Asian guy was a panda. That's right. By his own volition. But unlike a panda, Stephen Che loves to fuck. We got to do face painting again. Yeah, we do. You guys know anybody? We do face painting for the case race.

I mean, yeah. That would be great. A face race? Ask me the other day, what's going to be the theme of the next Tommy Walker day? Great question. I don't know. Guns. Battle Royale.

Guns. I like guns. Guns. Guns and ammo. ATF. Alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. Yak scenarios, 300. Let's finish eating a spice burger.

Stork. Stork. My heart. Shout out to this guy. Let's do Stephen Chay 500. This will be interesting. We're avoiding big dog t-shirts. First ever recipient.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, no. Was it? It was an eagle. It was Lane Johnson. Lane Johnson, Jason Kelsey, and Quentin Nelson have all won it Oh, I was late Johnson. That's I mean, that's what I did say All right, let's sweep the big dogs and then okay. Let's sweep. Yeah. Let's go down the big dogs. Let's fucking do this

Friends Oh Mr. Bark It would be friends related, right? Wait, wait, wait. I don't remember. Ross. Pause. Chandler. Oh, my God.

Central Park was on it. We don't know it. We don't have it. Is it a name related? Friends. It's right there. Did we make that shirt? Did we make the shirt?

Fuck. Mudica, Chewy, Ruff, Rachel. Rachel is really what they really are. Maybe. Any type of... Pounder. Oh, come on. Rachel.

Oh, my God. That was the shirt where they came up. They're like, Central Bark. And like, all right, well, we got to do the rest of the shirt. Rachel. We built it off Central Bark, all right. Cat in the hat. The dog in the hat.

Yeah. Got to be. I can't accept that. Oh, no. What is it? Is it the cat and the dog? The big dog and the cat. Yeah, you're right.

You cannot accept that. This is the genius of big dog. Just when you think you got it. All right, keep going with big dog. Yeah. The big Lebowski. I know that. The dog.

No, it's. The big Lebowski. The Barsk. The Barksky. Oh. What was that... The big Bow-wowski. The Barsk... The Barkski? Oh. What was that? The big Bow-wowski. Let's go.

Yeah. That's a great shirt. Now, are these ones that we came up with? No, these are the actual ones. Oh, okay. These are real. The few Semper Fabark. The few The Pound.

The... The Chew. Few the pound. The chew. The Fido. The pound. And the. The Maltese. Smithereen. Yeah, I like that. Let's go with that.

Yeah, I like that. What? Come on. That literally. God damn it, those. Fucking rules. That company is the best Oh man I still want to buy it

You gotta buy it I thought you were gonna Best shirt of all time We had a meeting about it It was gonna do like We were gonna do like some deal I just wanna buy it I just wanna buy it

I don't wanna collab I want you to own I want to own it And I wanna you know Probably fail And I'll lose all my money But I will It'd be hilarious to do it

I don't know Funny way to go out. Could you imagine if we buy Big Dog brand and open up a factory and do a documentary about it? That'd be amazing. It'd be incredible. Alright.

Yak characters. Let's finish that one off. Genetic counselor abortion doctor. Oh god. Odaniacs. What was her name? Oh fuck. Let's finish that one off. Genetic counselor, abortion doctor. Oh, God. Odaniacs. What was her name? Oh, fuck.

It's her. Leslie. No. Munchaft. No. Bunshaft. Sidney Bunshaft. Sidney Bunshaft.

Yes. Shout out to her. Workshop that. I saw Tyler O'Day a couple weeks ago, and I told him anytime he wants, come back in for an O'Daniac. Take a tour of the Empire State Building? We just went up there to do a video. I didn't know PFTs yell her. Yeah. It's like Gustafsson is best known for being...

Okay, she is... Oh, fuck. I remember this. She's hot. She's the judge in Atlanta, in Georgia. Is this an O'Daniac? I think it's two in a row. Yeah, is she. Is this an Odaniac? Is it going to be two in a row? Yeah, is she like a circuit judge?

Sweetie? That's a very Scandinavian name. It's a specific attribute. Oh. Busty and petite? Oh, wait. I'm busty. Yeah.

Whoa. The world's bustiest. Oh, that's a fake name that I came up with. Also Gustafsson? Yeah. For the world's... You were noticing how Scandinavian it was. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like, that sounds like a Scandinavian name I would come up with. Do yak trivia. This is fucking delightful. This is great. Under a beam. All day. We just talked about that, bro. They want shit.

They want shit, literally. All right. Should we save the 500? Be a vegetable. Yeah, vegetable. No, something Frank won't eat. Oh. Oh, dainiac?

What is it? I don't know. That's right. Yep. Yep. Yep. Seeing that in writing is fucking Frank. All the answers in writing have been false.

That person got AIDS from a dentist. Something about the font makes it funny. Even Che 400 Yeah I remember Oh was it fly guy Mothman You had a fly around you right

Oh shit Wait do you know it Kyle It doesn't have to do with the bug It is bug related Beetle Beetle juice Wait, do you know it, Kyle? It doesn't have to do with the bug. It is bug-related. Beetle? Beetle juice? Yeah.

Beetle juice. Is that beetle juice? And Steven thought it was so funny. He scripted that for... All right, last one. Brandon and Big Cat can steal the win with this answer. Oh, shit. All right, here we go, Brandon. You and your wife are out to dinner for your birthday.

Your wife steps out of line when she can't wait. I don't know if we're serving you this. I don't know. I don't know either. Say it, Nick, for the win. I think it's pussy. Oh, it's cold fuck. It's cold fuck.

Oh, it's cold fuck. It's cold fuck. Cold fuck. Cold fuck. How did I forget? I don't know. You got to take away the inch. Yeah, you're right. You got to take away the inch. It's a cold fuck. Cold fuck. How did I forget? I don't know. You got to take away the answer. Yeah, you're right.

It's a cold fuck. Oh, man. I want a thousand more. Yeah. That was fantastic. I like warm my heart so much. Shout out John Rich TV. Get him in for Idol.

Yes. Absolutely. Does he want a job? He sent me a blog that he wrote. That was like the best thing anyone's ever sent. He's front line to the idol. I can't promise him a job, but he absolutely should be on Idol. I met him in Columbus, Ohio.

And nice guy. Are we all bringing people? Are we filling up with our guys? I could bring a person, too. Breeze? No. Maniac Malloy. I just don't want to destroy a relationship.

That dude was fucking hilarious. Wasn't he funny? Yeah. Get Maniac Malloy in the mix. Has Big Cat met him? No, I don't want to destroy a relationship. That dude was fucking hilarious. Wasn't he funny? Get Maniac Maloy in the mix? Has Big Cat met him? No, I don't think so. He's a fucking maniac. Is he? He truly is. He's a true maniac.

He's got a pretty swing. That's in his name. Yeah, he swings it like Griffey Jr. For real? He's like butter, dude. He's one of those guys that just is always swinging a baseball bat even when he doesn't have one in his hands. Fucking maniac, bro.

Will you decide the case race? Yeah, the 6th. 6th, so Wednesday? Wednesday the 6th. No, they couldn't move it. Yes, they can. What the fuck do you mean? Because we have the film all day Thursday.

I have a show after that. What? We got to do it Friday. It's got to be Earth Day. I didn't like the way you said I had a show. April 22nd? Did you have a problem with April 22nd? No.

I said I could make it work if I had to. Don't you have to be sharp the 23rd? It's pompous. I liked it a lot, actually. There was pomposity to it. So April 22nd, we have to lock it in. Guys, I have a show. We all do.

We have a show. Guys, I have a show. Are we doing teams of two or three? Sass will be here. Sass will be here. If we do the 22nd, I hope. Yeah. I don't think that's breaking news.

I think you should be back this weekend. Top five sweatiest peoples with the initials KB. You think I'm top five in the world? No. You're fucking dry as five in the world? No. You're fucking dry as shit lately. Alright, so 22nd, we're locking it in. Earth Day, Case Race. Can we make it so we're doing three people on a 24?

I don't think so, brother. I don't think so, brother. I might have to change the date then, brother. Three on a 30? Three on a 30 could be good. Would that do anything for you? Doesn't do much. You have to be extra sharp

on the 23rd, correct? No, the 16th. Should we just do it right now? No, we're going to do the 22nd, though. I know. I have something else that I'm supposed to drive down.

Which state do you got to be sharper? You have too many things. I know. We're also going to do it early in the day. No shit. Remember, you get drunk at one o'clock. You go to sleep. But I have to be sharper. You have too many things. I know. We're also going to do it early in the day. Oh, shit. Remember, you get drunk at 1 o'clock. You go to sleep.

But I have to. You're supposed to be driving down to Maryland that afternoon. Oh, jeez. On which one? The 20, that Friday. The 22nd. The Friday, yeah. What about the one before?

And then that's the day. I've got to be sharp. I've got to be sharp for the next day. How sharp? Extremely. But could you sleep? No, still driving. It's a two-day sharpness routine.

I hate to be the dick in the butt, the stick in the mud, but it just is. I'm trying to work. Do we have to do it on a Friday? I think a Friday would be better. What about a very early morning Friday? Wait, why can't you do Wednesday? Our flight's at 7 a.m.

Their flight's at 7. Why is your flight at 7 a.m.? I'm doing the Brandon Walker show at 6. I can't be drunk. That would be funny. I'm just going to have to chug 24 beers in front of everyone. Can we do it Tuesday? Tuesday, I don't know because I'm coming back from New Orleans.

On his actual birthday? You'll already be drunk. Also, Sass is... Well, yeah, Sass is going to be here. Sass is coming back? You can't do April 29th. Sass is not coming back? I can do April 29th, I think.

We can't. It's the day after. Yeah, they're gone. What about April 25th, Monday, which is my actual birthday? Kyle and I are gone. Oh. 25th it is. Yeah, Kyle and I are gone.

What? We're just going to end every show trying to schedule it. All right, we'll figure it out tomorrow. Yeah. Let's just figure this out tomorrow. You won't be here tomorrow. I will. Will you?

Yeah. You don't tell me what my schedule is. You said you were gone Thursday and Friday. I'm leaving at 9.55 at night. Okay, well I'm not going to be here. Oh, that's what that was. Flights from New York to New Orleans are miserable.

There's like two a day. Really? Yeah, direct flights. I think we're leaving at 9.55. Deceptively far. 7 a.m. next day? Yeah. 7 a.m. Friday? Yeah. Yeah, it's like they just don't exist. New Orleans is like the most other country city in the United States, I think, though.

I'd agree. Feels tropical. Miami? Miami's a little other country. In the running? Oh, yeah. Miami's in the running. I think New Orleans is really...

I think you're right. Miller Poe Boys. No. All right, so wait. Let's just figure in the running. I think New Orleans is really. I think you're right. Miller Poe boys. No. All right, so wait. Let's just figure out the day. Yeah. About April 14th. Well, April.

Brandon's gone that week. You're gone that whole week, Brandon? Sorry. I got to go. I got to go. About April 20th? Do some business with my dad. And we say, fuck all the stoners.

We'll just get really high. We're here. That is funny. Are we here? We're not. Who isn't? We have trivia the April 19th. So would we be back in time?

Well, we don't because I'm not going. EJ, am I here at all this month? How mad are you that that sold out so quickly? I'm not mad that it sold out quickly. Congratulations, Jeff Lowe. I'm mad that we're not involved with one of them. Why? We built the fucking show.

Oh, you built it. Jeff Lowe built it. We built it on our back. Jeff Lowe built it on your back? So we have no days. We have no days. This sucks. I've been dreading this summer.

Let's do it right now. Do it now. What about April 21st? Thursday before Earth Day? Yeah. We're here. I'm here. Yeah?

That works for me. Is that what we're going to do? Is that the first day of... I'd have to do PMT early. That's the only problem. Well, I have the Brandon Walker show at 6, but I'm willing to do it drunk. You're going to have three beers.

Yeah, you're right. I'm going to get hammered. Brandon, I'll be on your team, and I'll carry it, and then we'll figure out... All right, so April 21st, let's... April 21st. Let's pencil that in. I will make arrangements to do PMT before.

Why don't we pen that in? Pen that in. I will make arrangements to do PMT before. Why don't we pin that in? Pin that in. Case race. In the calendar. It's going to be teams of two, 24 beers each. If you get Owen on a team, 12 of the beers have to be zips. I like the title. Sass is 21st Earth Day.

Earth Day Case Race Fiesta. All right, it's in.'s in it's that thursday i'm i've been thinking about my strategy should i bring a beer bong yeah yeah yeah to use any vehicles i think that's fair yeah i'll let it i think we have to check what we're allowed to do on youtube what about knives in the standard case race, I would say you don't get to shock on their funnel. No, you're right. Yeah, but I can chug. You can chug.

Oh, yeah. In a glass? You can do that little spin thing. Oh, yeah. No, you can't do the spin thing if you can't use a beer bong. Are we using Dana as a champion for somebody? I think we should have Dana be in the draft. He should just have his own case.

He should have a solo team. He should be like the control group. Also, they gotta be boozing too. Absolutely. I think TJ just volunteered himself anyway. I actually think maybe it's the whole booth has a 30 pack. They compete against everyone else in here.

Why is Zod shaking his head? Zod doesn't get busy. Three of you on 30? The rest of us have to go. One of them is Stephen No, but three of you? Three of you on 30? The rest of us have to do it. I don't know if Jay drinks. One of them is Stephen Che. Yeah, right. But three of you on 30, and then everyone else gets split up into teams of two on 24?

Yeah. DJ's got 15 of them. Che's got eight, and Zod's got seven. We'll do a draft. And we'll add Dana Beers. Che is absolutely not out drinking Zod. Actually, maybe Dana Beers goes with Sass because he's the birthday boy. Yeah, so Dana and Sass, two, two, two.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Why do you never want to be on a team? You won't be able to drink more than – You're going to drink more than anybody. But that's not true. KB. Really?

No. Dana Beers. He's an athlete. I can drink six. Oh, we'll draft. We'll draft. I think drafting is – Oh, we'll draft. We'll draft. I think drafting is fair. How's the draft going to work?

How's it going to work on the draft? Who's going to draft? Whoever's to the left of you, you get. Sass has to pick first. All right, perfect. Sass, yeah. Sass will pick first. Let's just pull names out of a hat for captains.

Actually, that would be funny if we just did it. Let's just make it have the wheel decide. Yeah. Yeah, we have a wheel. What's the rule on puking? Puking, you're have a wheel slap racket to see who gets first pick in the draft also can you make sure that we have a uh face painter that day please we can't add all these things because we need to start drinking like when the show starts i understand that but we can well you should have the draft the day before no the face painting should absolutely...

Should we do beer Olympics theme and wear country outfits? It's problematic. Yeah, that is problematic. Yeah, I think we should, though. I want a face painter that day. I want everyone to be wasted by the end with face painting. And we also should figure out a prize so there's actually a reason to complete it. Winner gets to keep the million subs plaque.

Also, you don't get to pick the face paint that you have. Somebody else picks it. We'll decide the face paint. We do wall-to-wall sand. I would like to. One of the face paint options is being a Hitler mustache. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That would be funny.

No, our face paint has to be dictated off of a random Wikipedia article. Okay. No, our face paint has to be dictated off of a random Wikipedia article. Okay. All right, so... I think we could get live music. Just like acoustic, coffee. We have to figure out what the winner gets, though. Like Brazilian jazz?

A stand-up bass player? Just a guy in the corner like... Ooh, that we can go to Pasadu? What about... Winner gets Brandon's Show for the night? Winter Gets Branded Show for the night. Are we allowed to play, like, SoundCloud mashups? Only if they're sick.

Like, you're talking about Big Booty Mix or something like that? Something, even, like, something that, like, some random kid made. Probably not. Avon Old Farms 2015, for example. Unless it was, like, organically made. If it's, like, cut-ups of radio. Oh, my God. Okay, this app is bad. Your app is

bad. It's taking a bad turn. It's taking a bad turn. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, we gotta... You should delete. The app has to be deleted. Yeah, the app has to be deleted. Shane, honestly, Shane. Oh, no. Come on, dude.

We're done with that. Delete your tweet. Should we get one month's dumbass in here? You guys ruined it. Oh, come on, dude. We're done with that. Delete your tweet. Should we get one month's dumbass in here? You guys ruined it. Oh, yeah, one month Ethan. Yeah, get him in here real quick. Real quick, real quick. What's up, Ethan? So you just work here now?

Maybe, I don't know. Oompa loompa doopity doo, my boy. What's going on? My only question, Ethan, and, you know, I've always been an Ethan guy. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory joke. I just caught up with that, actually. Yes you know, I've always been an Ethan guy. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory joke. I just caught up with that, actually. Yes, yes. I've always been an Ethan guy.

I've given you advice. I've tried to help you. When you went on Dave's show and you were like, I don't know why they shut off my email, did you forget that you just didn't do anything? No, I just, nobody told me, so it was just more of a shot. You didn't do anything. But I was doing stuff at that time. When? When it got that time. When?

When it got shut down. When was that? When was the last time you did anything? September 2020. November 2020. Around then. Okay. And that's when it got shut down.

You were still doing stuff? I was still blogging actively. How many? Subjective. Are you high right now? That's nuts. No, no, no. That's nuts. Why do you look at me That's nuts. No, no, no. That's nuts.

Why do you look at me like this? It's not subjective, though. It's like a quantity. Feels a bit subjective, but... Oh. You know. What's a lot? Just how many?

That's a good question. I get what you're saying. How many? A lot is subjective. No one said a lot. I don't know. I don't know. I don't remember. That was two years ago now.

It's a long time ago. I have a sneaking suspicion you were doing nothing, and then they shut it down. No, I was doing stuff, and it just got shut down. Maybe I wasn't doing stuff at the highest capacity. Well, we all know that. What is your highest capacity, though? Do you feel vindicated? This was the other discussion we had because

you know, we, KB tried to help you. I tried to help you. You ignored everything, but you're almost like ahead of where you would have been if you had taken our advice. Yeah, you know, not to quote like Vinny Chase here, but it'll all work out in the

end. Right. Just turtle and drama smoking bong and taking clear of those shots. Right. Work out in the end. Right. Just turtle and drama, smoking bong, taking Clairvaux shots. Right. It'll all work out in the end. Right. You're watching Entourage right now? No, it's just I've watched it countless times. Are you going to really move to Florida now that you're about to get your own bedroom?

Well, I actually have my own bedroom. Oh. Yeah, that's a development. How'd that happen? Little brother moved on out, so. Of the room, not of the house. Of the room, so. Got it.

Got it. Wait, there was another room the entire time? Yeah. Yeah. You guys lived in the same room, did, formerly, for a while, but there was an extra room. You just never went around to it? It was occupied by my older brother. Ah.

He went to his girlfriend's. Ah. Yeah. She has a room? She went over there? Yeah, she has, I don't know, I guess, rooms, plural. Whoa. Yeah.

Are your brothers like you? Are they motivated? I don't know. I don't know. It's a question for them, not me. What? You could know. You could speak for your brothers.

You could share a room. You lived with the kids for 20 years. Are they like you? Are they like me? I don't know. Brothers are subjective. What are you doing in here today? Going on out and about. Oh, congratulations. What are they going to do?

You're officially cutting my hair? Are you officially? No. You're about. Cutting my hair? Are you officially... No. Oh. You're about. I'm about. Not as late. I'm for sure about.

You don't want to take your time. Yeah. With the out part. Yeah. You got low ears, my brother. Yeah. A kid used to call me Crocker, like from Fairly Oddparents. Of course, yeah.

The guy with the... You do have low ears. Ears on the neck, yeah. They're like... Ears on his neck. Like Frankenstein. Kind of like the Bolts on Frankenstein. We also played a little hypothetical.

If you had just stuck it out, you would be sitting where Nick is, and Nick wouldn't exist. Right. Supposedly, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

It's an alternative. I don't know. You hate absolutes. I don't like to say... talking Hey I'm a facts guy I don't like dealing in No no no We asked you for the facts How many bogs

No but it's It's the opposite of facts Statements That guy Oh yeah You haven't given us a statement Yeah That guy

That guy What if you and What if you and KB Had become like Partners in crime What do you mean Like what would it have meant? He's a fax guy.

Again, I don't know. You can't say what if. I hugged you yesterday and you didn't hug back. No, well, because you hugged me like a big idiot. You came around. I hugged you deeply. I was trying to turn into you. Show how you hugged.

I didn't see the hug. Can you show how you hugged? He came to the side. Stand there. Stand there. Stand there. I walked up and went the hug. Can you show how you hugged? Well, I want to... He, like, came to the side. Oh, stand there. Stand there. Stand there. I walked up and went... Yeah.

How am I supposed to hug him like this? Yeah, he's right. I did, like... I did, like, a little arm... Awkward arm pat, but that's all I could get out. Yeah. I would hope... Hopefully, we can be co-workers again.

Hopefully. I would like that. Do you want to... He's going to be our boss. Yeah. Do you want to work here? I don't know. Yeah.

I don't know yeah yeah you got the money you're here would you rather be doing what i know i i do have to apologize for one thing i don't think i ever followed up and gave you a recommendation because you were trying to become a librarian yeah remember that assistant yeah you asked for recommendation i said sure and i kind of one month ethan do you i was like yeah no problem brother and then i just never actually said it because i i realized afterwards i don't know how to write a recommendation for a librarian yeah no you asked me to write it and i just wrote like kids cool see that's right i did and i was like i'll sign it you just never that's right i feel like i definitely tried to send it i might have

i don't think you ever did it's written i threw it back at you and then you i don't know i don't know You made a recommendation To become a librarian Well for that specific one You did I don't know if there was Ever a throw it back I think I was like

Why don't you write it And I'll sign it And then you just Never wrote it I was just kind of like Millhouse throwing The frisbee in the yard To myself

Right No but I did say I was going to sign it You did You didn't follow up I think Who do you think If we stood in front Of a I think that Harrison. Who do you think, if we stood in front of a court, and they're like, who do you think had the follow-up,

and who, like, one-month Ethan, who has shown his follow-up. I'm not so sure that I didn't send it, though. I think I sent it. Really? Well, then that's my bad. I would have to look at my sent mail. You're batting, like, zero, though, on follow-ups. Well, then that's my bad. I would have to look at my sent mail. You're batting like zero, though, on follow-ups. Well, I guess.

That's subjective. You think if you came back, you think that you're— Not seeing what I'm doing in the field, you know what I mean? Would you do stuff? You think you would do more stuff if you came back? I don't know if he wants to. Yeah, no, I don't think he would. You can't push this guy to do stuff.

He just does. I'm not pushing him. He exists. I'm just asking. If the opportunities present themselves, sure. What's your dream scenario? I feel like the opportunities present themselves. I don't really have a dream scenario. I just kind of go about my day and just kind of

figure it out. I think that some people don't like it when you don't do anything. Some people in here, they get like a little bit... You know what I mean? Like they have a thing about not doing anything. There's some people that it bothers. I can tell. It never bothered me. You're an interesting

cat. Don't you think there's some people who it gets under their skin a little bit? Nate probably wouldn't like that you're not doing anything. Okay, wait. I'm looking it up right now. Good for him. Yeah, hell yes congrats like for his thoughts i guess if that's what he thinks fuck yeah shit i didn't sign it that's my bad i actually sent it did what does the letter say so the court so you athens ass athens court would in fact rule in my favor yes on this one i'm i'm

a fair guy. Can't open this one. I doubt you'd get around to taking it to court though. Lawyer fees and What are you going to do when your parents die? Great question. That's actually a good question. Yeah it's something to think about.

A weird thing is I have been thinking about that lately. How old are they? Not that old. But like old enough to where if it happened. Are you planning it? Older than 42. How do I open this? Sure.

How do I open this? Why can't I open it? That's probably what happened in the first place. You just couldn't open it and so you couldn't sign it. Why can't I open this, Ethan? They'll probably leave you the house. I don't know. I got two other brothers that they probably like a lot more than me.

I'm saying they'll leave it to the three of you, and you can just be like, hey, I live here. We can't sell this house, even though you live with your girlfriend and are in college now. Do your brothers have jobs? My older brother does. My little brother does not. PJ, can you open this?

Oh, it's the little one. 18. He's got time. I was, yeah. You're still waiting on your first one. My first what? Please, I was slinging denim

in store 774 before you could even, I don't know. Gene expert. Denim expert. This was the best one. December 20th, 2019. He said,

I didn't get a chance to say it before I left, but happy holidays, big cat. And I said, have a great break. And you replied, break?

Not familiar. Full tilt, full time. Don't hesitate if you ever need help with literally anything. I said, I'll take you up on that. And he said, if my team needs me to bleed, I'll bleed. And then he just didn't blog for three weeks. I did blog. No one needed him to bleed?

I did blog. I didn't blog enough, per se. I did blog. I think your two blogs, didn't you get gut by, like, the Australian onion? The Babylonian bean? A couple of them for sure. That'll happen. It's convincing stuff.

DJ, can you open that? No, I don't know what file type it is. So that's your fault. Yeah, that's your fault. You sent me a file I can't open. It was his own file type. As of like an hour ago. You sent me a file I could not open.

The fifth blog on the site right now Really? Yeah How often would you just stare at Barstool HQ? Well I wouldn't stare at Barstool HQ I'd stare at like Internet pages trying to find something funny To write about No I'm saying

You still had your login to Barstool HQ Oh yeah yeah yeah What do you mean? Would you just log in? I would periodically check if it still worked. Just, you know, see if the light's still turned on type of thing. What time do you wake up every day? 12.30.

My sleep schedule's actually been really bad right now. Not the way you'd think. I've been waking up at like 5 a.m., falling asleep at 9.30. Why? That's not bad at all. At 30 p.m.? At 30 p.m., yeah. That's not...

That's a... No, it's pretty bad. That's seven and a half square 9.30 p.m.? 9.30 p.m., yeah. That's not... That's a... No, it's pretty bad. That's seven and a half square hours. I feel like that's like a... All right, one more trial. Ethan, go down. Where in the world is Ethan? Look at that.

All right, keep going down. 55 minutes ago. Let's see. Can we see the 2019 December? Real quick, where he said he'd break. Break isn't in my vocabulary. All I know is we're doing a lot of scrolling right now. That's true.

We're doing a lot of scrolling right now. This is a shitload of scrolling. Oh, wait. There we go. Go up. Right about that time. No, keep going up. It was 1220.

You have some long titles. There's nine days between that. Yeah, that was short and sweet. You have some long titles. There's nine days between them. Yeah, that was nine days. And then two more days. Who scored the sublime overhead kick? Who was that? Why'd you leave with their name? I don't know.

Oh, and it was all just soccer blocks. Chelsea, are you sold right now? Rickets, I don't want the soccer blocks. How's Chelsea? I don't want the Ricketts. That'd be really bad. Yeah, I know the Ricketts would be bad, but do you feel somewhat complicit in Putin's whole war because you are a Chelsea fan? No. Also, congratulations to your Grizzlies.

Very good. Thank you. They are very good. You watch every game? Yes, because I'm taking it in right now. It's like the best basketball I'll probably ever watch in my life as a Grizzlies, very good. Thank you. They are very good. You watch every game? Yes, because I'm taking it in right now. It's like the best basketball I'll probably ever watch in my life as a Grizzlies fan. Yeah. He's out of here?

Oh, shit. That's 218. All right. All right. You're invited to Sass' birthday party. No, wait. No, you're not 21. Yeah, he is.

Oh, you are? How old are you? I'm near 22. Yeah. Sit in the corner and eat cottage cheese if you want. Did you just find out you're 22? No, a couple months, I guess. Been 22 for a while. Yeah, Sit in the corner and eat cottage cheese if you want. You just find out you're 22? No, I'm a couple months, I guess. Been 22 for a while. Yeah, it's one of those things.

It just creeps up on you, I guess. An old soul. Yeah. Wake up 5 a.m. What do you do all day? Yeah. Are your parents like, what's going on? I think he jerks off five times.

Call me. Five times a day, I think you jerk off. Are your parents like, what's going on? I think he jerks off five times. Call me. Five times a day I think you jerk off. That's a lot of jerking off. Refute it then. What do you mean a lot? A lot is subjective. I do not jerk off. Yeah, a lot is subjective.

What time are your card games? Yeah, and that sounded like you were just robbing your friends. Yeah, I play a lot. I play all day. That's pretty much what I do. Wait, so what do your parents say? Are they like, hey, Ethan, what's up? Yeah, I mean, they kind of like joke and call me like their roommate

because I don't really talk to them. They're not joking. Yeah, well, it's kind of like a little, hey. Yeah, that's funny, Mom and Dad. Yeah, what's up, bro? Are they like applying some pressure on you to like? He would have no idea. Yeah, I mean, sometimes, but it's like, you know. Yeah, Are they like applying some pressure on you to like. He would have no idea. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean sometimes it's like you know. Yeah. It just goes in waves. You just got to hold out when they put that. Daddy.

Oh. Hold the line. That is actually what it is. Yeah. OK. All right. Well thanks Ethan.

Good to see you man. I'm rooting for you Ethan. Everybody is. We all are. We've never stopped being, Ethan. Everybody is. We all are. We've never stopped being Ethan guys. Great performance. Take the next couple months off. Yeah.

All right. Close the door. Come on. Don't worry about it. Close that. Close that. What is going on? Why can't you close that?

That never happened. You got it. That actually never happened. Never happened. Can you close it? Close it. Please close the door. Live radio show.

We have to keep this thing closed. Come on. Close it. A little harder. See? It's just a door. What a weird bird. I've never met a more indifferent person. Oh. Yeah. He could. Everything could have been different.

Yeah. Could all have been different. Yeah. It could have all been indifferent. I don't think he wants that, though. I think this is what he wanted. It's perfect. Yes. He has everything. Again, I applaud his methods because people would do anything to come in these doors,

and he waltzed in, blew it, and he's back. He's a Twinkie in a nuclear holocaust. He hasn't done anything. He put no effort to get back. No effort in between. He just is back. When people, like, you give advice to the new people and you're just like, I've been doing this for a long time.

Maybe you should try this. Maybe do this. And he did the exact opposite. I gave him a great blog series because he was living with his brother and I was like, you need to just blog about the fact that you're a 20-year- old kid living with another with like a 17 year old he's just like yeah that's a really good idea

I do believe we told him that on the on the yak this very program we were we've been up his ass anything anything you didn't you don't have to do all that though nah anything's too much no just do nothing and you'll just he'll probably run this company at some point.

If he's just around Dave, Dave dies. He has to be adopted by Dave just so he has someplace to live because he needs a parent around. Dave dies and then he's next of kin. All right, well, Ethan's our boss. Yeah, check the organizational chart has been updated on Zenefits and he's right behind Dave. There's something to be said about having that much indifference that I respect the fuck out of it.

Poor guy probably never eats dinner every night because he just doesn't know what to get. Yeah. He's just completely indifferent. His parents hate him. I don't hate him. He doesn't know. It doesn't bother him at all. No, it doesn't bother him at all.

No. But his parents are like Are you hungry? He's like define hungry I don't know Ethan Do you want to get a Ethan do you want to Maybe try to get a job?

Isn't living a job? Not really He just answers honestly I mean by try Yeah I What if like a A rival company Tried to hire him away from Barstool

and they saw how powerful he was? Yeah, DraftKings was like, we got to get this. Who is that? There's a bidding war over Ethan. We'll probably just do both. Yeah, definitely. Oh, man. All right.

All right. Good show. April 21st. Great show. Great show. April 21st. Dude right. All right. Good show. April 21st. Great show. Great show. April 21st. Dude wipes. Dude wipes. It's the act. It's the act.

Got time to talk, shop and do a Yankees pop. It's the act. It's the act. Later. The Midget Symbol on TikTok.