The Yak - Owen Goes Undercover For His Annual Review, Jenny Jizz, And Dewayne "Wayne" Gibbous

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

It's WAYNE!!!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So let's... That was loud. Let's get the levels down. Yeah, let's... Steve, why don't you turn down KB's levels. Done.

Alright, and now let's dive into the boy. Let's dive into the boy. So let's go back to last week last friday um you know these are trying times that you know things are going awry everything that has gone bad has happened it's it's done and uh it makes you you start to question your religion your faith um and we've talked about that a good bit on the show um but I think it's fair with all these things going poorly to start questioning your faith. And you just need a reminder that God is real. Yeah.

And I think we got one Friday. And it's Owen. It's Owen. And we didn't question if God is real anymore. We questioned if Owen was God. Yeah. I'm still monotheistic. I just don't know if Owen is the God.

Right. Not if he is a God. Capital G God. Yeah. And we bring up that question because he does. He's infallible. He's like a priest. He's never made an error.

Right. He can do a priest. He's never made an error. Right. He can do no wrong. And I think the best way to really get into it is just to go back to Friday and see Owen, you know, explaining why he is the creator. Yeah. Let's yeah. Let's check that out. Actually, Owen is here just sitting. Owen, why don't you send us in? Who's to say? I meant send us into the sitting. Owen, why don't you send us in? Who's to say?

I meant send us into the clip. Oh, yeah. Here's the clip. All right. You were the first guy to point out he might be God. He's God. I'm pretty sure he's God. Owen is God?

Yeah. I've never seen someone just shooting percentage that high. He's above human. He's, I don't, no human quarrels bother him. Some like, some like, just even mistakes, accidental mistakes

brought on by other people, not him. Not him. He's impervious. Sure. He is impervious. Do it. Do what? I need Owen so bad, I'm just going to have Nick be Owen for the rest of the show. Okay, I guess.

So that was Friday's show, Owen being God. Monday's show, actually, we heard back, suck dick. It was bad. That's a segue. Speaking of sucking dick, Monday's show. I like that. We're not using anything from that. So let's go on to Tuesday.

You know what? Mondays, we don't like them. Love lasagna, though. Much like a cat. A specific cat, Owen. I wasn't okay yeah um so masks so masks this is not a really a joke it's more of a prediction i think as long as this pandemic keeps to drag on continues to drag on um we will start males naturally um becoming hyper sexualized over women's faces specifically the southern hemisphere the nose philtrum lips chin because they have the mask on so much so

when a girl the more a woman covers up something the more i want to see it uncovered. Yes. For example, taboo. Her pussy or her asshole or two tits. Her vagina, two tits, asshole. And her asshole. Asshole, yeah. So we're going to treat it. Yeah. So the mask.

Mask down. I get hard as a rock. Mask down. Lord have mercy. See her fucking, her gums, fucking lips, two of them popping. I actually, I did that. So we'll just dive into that. So let's hear you do that better.

Sexualizing women's faces. Wait, wait, what if, what if like males started like getting conditioned to hyper sexualize women's faces? Like they do, uh, like tits and ass. Yeah. Yeah. Like, so like when, like, yeah, it was fucking broad. I was walking down seventh broad jogging mask fully down. You can see your fucking two, two big lips hanging out, popping out.

Lord have mercy. Her fucking gigantic rack of teeth. Fucking her nose popping out. See her full chin. God help me at this point. I'm sweating. Fucking mask. I told the broad I was out on a date with her.

I said, I'm going to get you home. Get that mask off. Slid the panties off real easily. Bra on the floor. Mask fucking down. Saw her whole fucking mouth. Fucking. Like boyfriends getting mad.

Hard as a rock. Getting mad. Whole mouth out. Yeah, you're getting mad at your girl for going out with like a mask that's lower cut. Yeah, lower cut. Ridge of her nose. She comes out. She's like, all right, you're not going out. Yeah, we're getting mad at your girl for going out with a mask that's lower cut. Yeah, lower cut mask. She comes out and she's like, all right, we're ready. You're not going out in that.

Yeah, we're ready to go. Her fucking mouth was in the room. You're going out in that? Put your mask on. Her mouth was out. She was asking for it. I don't wear it for guys. I wear it for me. I want to feel sexy.

You can see her fucking full top lip popping out of her mask. You were asking for it. Mask, little top lip cleavage. It's like, oh my god, that's so hot. I think she's hot. I think she's hot. Pulls the mask down. Fucking incredible mouth.

Fucking gums. You get catfished, you bring a girl home and she has no sept, no, like, septum. What the fuck? Teethless. Yeah. I don't know what's funnier, the idea or the accent you're doing. I love this accent.

I don't know. Every bad boyfriend sounds like that. Mask. Get the fucking mask. Get your mask back on. Mask down. These fucking broads don't wear their fucking they barely even wear masks.

That accent has covered every region of the country so far. I don't even know what I'm doing. Yeah, that was a hybrid. The entire north swath of the country was covered in that. But you buy for Christmas you go to Victoria's Secret and buy

like lace masks. Like, put this on. This special occasion mask. Just for me. Fucking nose. A G-string mask. It's just floss that they put in their teeth. Dude, take your mask off.

Yeah. Why don't you slip it off for me? Real quick. Just pull it down a little. No, no one's looking. You think you're having a nice, sexy night and she's got the grandma mask on? Yeah. So you got the full mask? Yeah.

You throw her a Mardi Gras bead, she shows you her nose. Oh, fucking fraud. Nose popping out. Like you wouldn't fucking believe. I would love to get that mask down. Just slide it down. We're headed there. You can tell from the indent of her mask, her nose is pierced.

Just popping through the fucking mask. You know she's a freak. She's got a bull ring. Yeah. We're headed there. Like a liberal woman's face is like, the things I'd fucking do to see that fucking face. Just let me see it.

I don't want you to touch it. Fucking face. The face on that bro. The face on her. The fucking teeth. Yo, you gotta look at this pic she just sent me. Just like a selfie. Holy shit. No mask.

She's like, please don't show your friends. No mask, which is like covering up a little bit. The hand mask. Half her face. Hair over half her face. Come on, I'm horny. Send me more.

Sexting. Just move that hand. Just slide the mask down. You're sexting with just like her. Slide the mask down slow. I want to see your nose pop out above. A little bit of top lip. Your sex thing and she's just sending you her

LinkedIn profile. Yeah. Her nostrils are like side boob. Yeah. Yeah. Owen, what do you think? That was funny. That was a good rip. You're supposed to be our bridge. No, I know. That was good. That good that was good yeah you're our bridge you did a bad job bridge um next

oh that was the bridge that was the bridge yeah next all right so that's masks you know what's hard to do with a mask on suck cock suck cock um and so jenny jizz refuses to wear one so she can suck cock yeah um and we learned about jenny jizz kate came into the studio to visit us and she went on a trek down to florida will the video be out by the time this is out uh i hope so i think she said it was going to be in zero block 30 and i believe that comes out on fridays all right so yeah be sure to listen to that when that comes out but kate went down uh to talk to jenny jizz when her mouth isn't full of of cock and cock and come uh and uh she came in to tell us about that and we went went on, you know, we wanted to learn more about Jenny and what she does.

So let's listen to that. Owen, send us in one more time. Cox and cum. Bunch of both of them. Good listen. Yep. What's up Kate Brandon was the only

woman that he could find good to see you she was the first woman I tried to get Erica but she's on the call Stephen hung up Stephen's gone what was the point it didn't take me long

he walked past me like 10 times looking for a better woman What was the point? It didn't take me long. I went right to Kate. He walked past me like 10 times looking for a better woman. So that took time. You were the only woman over there. What do you mean better woman? I saw you and I said that's close enough and I said come on. He said is Casey or Liz here? Is there a better one?

He's like hey you girl over there. Yeah, okay. Alright, well happy birthday, Kate. Thank you. Yeah, Marine Corps 245th, yeah. Patriotism. No, you gotta say that. It's your birthday? It's the Marine Corps.

You consider it. You all text each other and say happy birthday. I liked your Instagram picture without reading or looking at the second or third picture. It's the easiest. Blind like. Veterans Day and Marine Corps birthday. Easiest day for free likes.

You can post anything in uniform and you're just. Well, Veterans Day is tomorrow, right? Veterans Day is tomorrow. Tomorrow, yeah. So Marine Corps birthday today, Veterans Day tomorrow. So double up. I'm about to ask Dave if I can go to Florida tomorrow on a last minute trip to the, have you ever heard of the Sausage Castle with Mike Busey?

No. So they do a party on veterans day. This like crazy guy, he hangs out with like long wide neck and the skinny neck guy and all them. Oh yeah. But every year he hosts this big party for veterans. And I reached out to him.

We started talking over the quarantine. Cause I did a zoom call with him for a blog. Um, but he does a veterans day party for blowjobs. This is the ninth annual with free blowjobs. So the Veterans Day, any veteran shows up, they get a free haircut, free barbecue and a free blowjob from Jenny Jizz. Jenny Jizz is giving them out?

Jenny Jizz is giving them out. Do you think there's any stolen valor that's going on in this? Because like, I'd imagine. How many veterans show up? The Venn diagram of stolen valor dudes who like play Call of Duty and pretend that they were in the military and dudes that show up for free blowjobs for porn stars is one big circle. Absolutely.

Yeah. And they don't ask for proof or anything. It's can I give you a timeline? Yeah. Am I holding up the act? No, this is great. Okay, 5 p.m. arrivals tomorrow. Then 5 to 8, free haircuts and carnival rides and free beer.

6 p.m., free barbecue dinner. 7 p.m., they're doing military branch fights. They're having the veterans fight each other for Veterans Day. 8 p.m., stripper showdown. Bring ones. It's the only kind of money you have to bring all day. 10 p.m., free blowjobs at Jenny Jizz. 12 a.m., brief and depart.

How long is that? They have to wait so long for that blowjob. They're going to be so, they're going to bust. They're going to pre-bust. I feel like it sucks for Jenny Jizz, too, to do the barbecue and beer before the blowjob. You want to do the blowjob first. Get it out of the way. You can go. They ask. I want to ask Dave, is first get it out of the way can you get a ton yeah you can go they ask

well so i want to ask dave like is it weird to the to this party i'm not saying oh you're gonna boss boss brandon you're asking dave but i'm saying for this party you you can just go you just need to go i just want to fly on the wall and i reached out to him he's like come through you got to come to this thing blah blah i want to interview people for zero block 30 i want to get video of i'm just curious i'm just this guy has like guns all over his house it's kind of a sex hotel and i've been tracking on this guy for a long time and i'm just really i just really want to go i want to meet jenny jim owen will yeah well you need someone to get blown yeah also somebody's got to help the lady vets right you think there's a time limit on the blowjobs yeah but

getting through the equivalent to a blowjob for a girl a handshake complimenting her fucking shoes her fucking outfit you look pretty this guy

this lady said carry in replied to the post on Instagram, because if you follow Mike Busey Show or the Sausage Castle on Instagram, you'll see it. She said, I'm a vet. What do the ladies get? And M Rainers 88 replied, you can get that shitter ate like an apple fritter. So that's why I want to ask Dave if I can get down there. I just want to note, too, kind of slipped under the

cracks there, but Owen essentially was asking, I last so long that if I get blown for an hour, is that going to hold everything up? You think Jenny Chiz will be able to crack your nut? I don't think you understand.

You are 140 pounds. Jenny Chiz will eat you up. That's not even her stage name. That's her family name. She is born in Jizz. The Jizz family crest. The Jizz family crest. It's just like...

There's a line full of troops. It came over from Russia in the 1920s, the Jizzes. You can go to Ellis Island. Their name is there. Jizz. Jizz can go to Ellis Island. Their name is there. Jez. Jez. You're not tougher than Jenny Jizz.

Yeah, dude. Jenny Jizz would fucking eat your lunch. A flick of the tongue. Owen still has that. I love not coming as a toughness thing. You think you got it? You think you could go one-on-one with Jenny Jizz, Owen? You want to set an over-under on time? Yeah.

What would it be? Two minutes. Smash that over. Smash the over. All right. Wow. All right. Well, I guess Owen does have to come now.

Yeah. Do you want to be the one to call Dave and ask? No. Yeah. Yeah, you have to. You want to call him right now? Yeah. I actually want to send him. I do want to send Owen. Yeah. I have to call him right now. Yeah.

I actually want to send him. I do want to send out. Yeah. Yeah. I need a camera guy. If not, just somebody to help me out. Just someone behind the scenes. Like a real camera.

Are you doing some iPhones? I don't know. And very well, you look dead inside. Yeah. You know, I got it. Okay.

You look like you could use Jenny in your life. Yeah. I get nervous. I don't know. I'm not. Oh, okay. I got it. Okay. You look like you could use Jenny in your life. Yeah. I get nervous. I don't want to. I'm not dead inside, though. Oh. Well, then come on down to Florida. Yeah.

You can make a POV video. Where is this? In Florida? It's in Orlando. Shit. Yeah. Call into the yak while you're getting Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. Yeah. Yeah. She's, uh, she's sucking my dick right now with her hands. Yeah. I guess it feels pretty good. Oh, she's eating lunch yet. Oh yeah. Yeah. I just came.

Um, yeah. Yeah. Jenny, Jenny, what do you think about these ballots? Um, I know you're busy. I know you're busy.

I know you're busy. When you get a minute, put your hands up. No, no, whenever. Okay. Okay, I just came. Is that all you guys need? Alright, Kate, thank you. Happy birthday.

Yeah, thank you guys. So that was Jenny Jizz. I think we need more female POCs in the limelight. POCs? Person of come. Oh, yeah, you're right. Did you notice how nervous Brandon was getting when we were talking about Jenny Jizz? He was oddly silent.

He was silent. He was perspiring profusely. Sweating bullets. And I have to say, he's an ugly sweater. He was gross. Yeah. But you know what? Tis the season because it is officially ugly sweater season.

And Barstool Sports wants to help you look your best this holiday. Even if you're not leaving the house over this year. Over 30 new ugly sweaters to choose from and a handful of classic bestsellers. Go to store.barstoolsports.com to get yours today. Get an ugly

sweater. Which one would you get, Owen? The one ugly sweater uh which one would you get owen um the one just say anyone you don't actually have to browse the big black cock probably the s yeah well that is one in the store that is that is one in the store and those would actually be the two adjectives i'd choose to describe said cock you know what what did you say what adjectives big and what uh african-american you can say black oh yeah it was a big buck cock yeah like a nervous like older white people always do that they think they can't say black they think that's a slur the big african-american cock you know it's just like a you know he's like my dog speaking of dog big dog we got those on yesterday on yesterday uh and we all got ourselves thanks

to big cat um who makes significantly more money than us. So, I mean, what was this to him? Nothing. Nothing. But it was a nice gesture nonetheless. We all got ourselves a Big Dog t-shirt and we unboxed it on air. And, you know, there's nothing better from a strictly audio standpoint than listening to people open up stuff. It's a blast.

It's the number one genre on YouTube. Yeah. And so why not transfer that to the radio airwaves? And that's exactly what we did. Let's listen to us get some early Christmas gifts. Got our package. What could it be? It's a big box.

Where are my dogs at? All right. Can Kyle give us a howl real quick? Give us an Adam Levine howl. No, no, no. I would never do him that dirty. $170 worth of Big Dogs merch has been purchased and has arrived. So you might own the company now.

I might own the company. Ooh, these shirts are not good material. They're actually horrible material. Oh, come on. Big Dog's. First shirt out of the box. 30% burlap. Stone Cold Steve Pauston.

That's Bone Cold Steve Pauston. Bone Cold Steve Pauston. Open up a can of wolf ass. Yeah. We're on the board. I think this one is a personal. I bought it myself. They all smell like glue, by the way.

Hell yeah, they do. All right. Next shirt. This one. I can't remember who I bought. Are we going to put them on or are we just going to throw them on? Yeah, we're going to put them on. This is a large.

I think we should give this to Owen. Go ahead and read it, Kyle. I love a good pole dance. And it's a guy fishing. It's a dog fishing. It is a dog fishing. That'll fit perfectly on a 143-pound frame. Owen, that will be you.

Thank you. We're going to put all of our shirts on. This one is for KB. This is the one I got for KB. I wish these were on the front, by the way. What the fuck is this? No, that's the front of the shirt. There's nothing on it.

Light gray. I'm going to sweat right through that. Can you believe my ex gave up all this? Let me see that. Yeah, that's KB. Dude watching TV, drinking beer. That's that KB shit. Love and life.

I'm going to put it on backwards. This one was for Steven. It is Big Dog Heroes football players. These shirts are like cardboard. They are so terribly made. We got to buy it. Don't buy big dog shirts until we own the company. Terry Brad Dog.

Oh, my God. Johnny Ubitus. Bark Star. And now this is the best. Joe Dog Tana. That doesn't even make sense. Joe Dog Tana. That doesn't even make sense. Joe Dog Tana. Joe Dog Tana.

Oh, my God. That makes no sense. Terry what? Bad Dog? No. Terry. Brad Dog. That's so bad.

Johnny Ubitus is good. Johnny Ubitus is good. And Barkstar works. They got that one. Oh, yeah, more? They fell off. Who's that? Is that for Caleb?

Oh, we got one for everyone. This one is... This one could be... This one also is for KB. This is the gray pride. We're old, we're tired, get off the lawn. Oh, it's like elderly pride. Yeah.

See, I will wear this. These are Brandon's. This is Brandon's, I believe. The three X. Oh, it's a three X. Three X. Okay. Read that.

The Rock. Wyler. Put it on. It's a picture of the rock know your role jaboni that's so good all right uh oh this one i think we could give this one to nick that was flame it says i'm not sure if the doctor said i was obese or a beast. Yeah, that works. That's pretty good. That's an XL too. I'm an XL guy. Everyone knows that Nick is an XL. I got too many shirts.

No, you didn't. These do smell just like glue. Glue. Glue and just terrible shirts. The only freaking BS I want is a beer and sex. This one's great. I don't know. We'll figure out who that one's for.

I want that. You want that one? I only give Kyle Gray one. That would make the most sense. This is my personal favorite. This is actually the one I bought for Nick so he can get this one. Hell yes. Sign Fetch. Masters of their domain. You've got

Elaine Bassettett schumann posmo kramer and george caspaniel that's not real that's not bad that is so fucking bad. Oh my God. Colby, here's yours. Colby actually got a good one. I got Colby a Grateful Dog shirt. I love it. Grateful Dog. That one's actually cool.

That one's actually fire. That's like, let's go. That's what I love about the Big Dog creative staff is like every now and then they make a legitimately great shirt. They like, they kind of luck into it. This one's for Caleb. This one says, why big dogs play golf. And then it's rules. It says, you can show off your wood.

Foursomes are encouraged. You can drink and drive. And you can wash your balls in public. This is classic. that is good old guy humor is this a sweatshirt? this is my sweatshirt I kind of splurged on myself

this one is it's the dogs playing poker as everyone knows it says big dogs play to win yeah they do. Oh, they got a poodle serving them drinks? Uh-huh. A little bitch-ass poodle? All right, that's the big dogs.

I think we're done with big dogs. Until we purchase them. Yes. Our phase is now over. I'm going to put on my sweatshirt. That was great. We've already had a few creative meetings for when the purchase goes through. That's true.

We have a line coming out. Yeah, we do. Paw-y Hanukkah. I like that. Yeah. Thank you. Oh,

did you get a shirt? Yeah. Yeah. What is yours? It's great. Oh, I forget. What is,

read it. I love a good pole dance. It's a dog. You know what you fucking do. It fits. It fits nice. I i'm gonna base my personality on the big dog shirt not the big dog shirt on the personality yes yes if i like the shirt i'm gonna start fishing right pick up your hobbies just based on what you got yeah yeah i like that i like that it's like buying a pool toy and then being like well I need to build a pool in my backyard

can we please note how the XL fits on me that's happened before yes it is actually a perfect fit that is a perfect fit sign fetch that's a great shirt sign fetch George Cospaniel

I'm going to wear this every day every single day have to thank you big cat Cospaniel. I'm going to wear this every day. Every single day? Yes. Have to. Have to. Thank you, Big Cat. Thank you very much. I'm happy that we're all big dogs. Thank you. This is incredible. An incredible day. We are all big dogs, aren't we? I gotta

DM him again and be like, yo, dude, I was serious. Let's get this negotiation going. One more. This smells like pungent glue. Yeah, you're gonna get high we're gonna get high imagine if that's like becomes a new uh chic drug in la big dog shirts big dog everybody's huffing big this could be the way shipment of big dog shirts could be the way they're still relevant like we think they shouldn't be relevant but people are just glue getting high

all right yeah yeah no no it's mine actually has like a rust i think it's ink but people are just glue getting high. All right. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, it's mine actually has like a rust. I think it's ink. Yeah. No, all big dog shirts come pre-stained.

Mine feels like burlap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was an art project. It's like a pre-washed, pre-washed shirts, pre-stained.

I'm pretty sure the graphics are just glued on. You should do that. That must be it. For all the big dog shirts pre-stained. So we know you're going to... If you're buying a big dog shirt, you are a sloppy eater. Yes. So we'll just pre-stain it for you so you don't have to worry about getting a stain on it.

You don't get mad when you get your own stain on it. Right. Yeah. You can't be like, oh, man, I ruined my big dog shirt. No, it comes ruined. You and I crossed two boxes, checked two boxes here of being wrestling fans and big dog shirt people. Right. That's why I sent it two sizes too big.

You don't want to fight that guy. I want to put mine on. You all right, KB? KB's huffing his shirt. Just huffing the shit out of it. Exactly like glue. Yeah. I'm getting repressed flashbacks to our class.

Miss McGlumphy. Miss McGlumphy. I think you should wear that backwards. I'm going to stab my finger open. Yeah, the back is way better. Back's better? Less glue? better. No, no, it's still reeks. Flip it around. Yeah.

Wear it like Nelly wears a Kurt Warner jersey. It feels like plywood. Bone cold Steve Poston. You know what I'll say about this shirt? You can really tell you're wearing a shirt. Yeah. I love that selling point. Big dog, you know you're wearing a shirt yeah you know i love that selling point big dog you know you're wearing it you're never gonna think you're not wearing a shirt it's always with you you feel it that's what i want when i wear it but it's true like the the new fabrics that everyone's

got like we got the tri blend you can't tell that looks so great you can't tell that you're wearing a shirt when you wear a tri blend this one yeah there is no mistaking that you have a shirt on your jeans feels like you're wearing sweatpants right you feel like medieval armor right yes this yeah i could if you shot me with a high caliber bullet it would not go through this shirt that's what i'm thinking it is kevlar i'm, I'm pretty sure this shirt's made of wood. It's hard. Yeah, testimonials. When you wear a big dog shirt, you know you're wearing a t-shirt.

I am. Let's go to the, can we go to like the warehouse? Yes. Just meet everyone there. I would love that. One big dog shirt weighs like 17 pounds. Wait, Eric is saying the big dog he met would not stand for this. Eric, what do you mean?

No. I like how we've also just done like how we ironically always. Oh, go ahead, Eric. Go ahead. I'm just saying this guy. I mean, I don't know. He was a tough son of a bitch. I'm not joking. Him and his people back in the late 90s, early 2000s.

I don't know if they heard this type of type of stuff going on against big dog he might come after you guys i'm just saying big dog was a he was the man i mean they ain't doing it yeah we're just following along i mean but again eric don't you think that in like big dogs respect big dogs if i were being a pussy about it and was like oh these shirts are really comfortable. You got to go after big dog hard. That's why I'm agreeing. You're definitely big dog in it. If I was like, oh man, these shirts are great.

Big dog would be like, yeah, now I know you're a small dog because no one would ever compliment these shirts. He used to come in also with shirts and get them out as well. Of course. Of course. Of course.

I love it. I don. Of course. Of course. Of course. All right, thank you. I love it. I don't know where this guy is. Yeah, we got to track him down. Try to track him down for us. Is A, is he alive? Yeah. If he's alive, he's not the big guy.

So he's not or he is? No, he's definitely not alive. I'm just saying it. No, he had to have, he died in a hang gliding accident. That or like choked on a bone yeah like a chicken bone yeah it was it was awful they didn't find his body for four months he just dies in a way dog dies he's run over by a bus yeah he went out the way of the dog man these shirts are horrendous i feel like I'm wearing chain mail

and I'm also high I think I'm high what I was going to say was we ironically always or not ironically but we always joke like oh let's do this week this week

this week we literally are doing big dog week I promise you I'm never going to wear a different shirt we have three seven days a week.

We need to buy this fucking company. Someone call in and let us buy this company. I literally said it to Erica and David. They're like, yeah, we should. Yeah, we'll buy Big Dog. Yeah, but I thought you wanted to buy it. But I'm okay with, like, if Barstool buys it and then they put me as like a pseudo

like I can put in my Twitter bio President of Big Dogs. It has to be your vision though right yeah no I'll be I'll be the head of creative they have a Twitter account yeah there's like it's the intern how many followers like 7,000 that's what I'm saying is I don't think are people

50 bucks 100 bucks I can't even find their Twitter handle is at Big DogsogsWoof. Oh, that's so cool. I love that. I'm having some trouble with the smell of the shirt. Yeah. You're not a big dog.

Owen's going to pass out. Well, it's nice to have Owen here because all 125 pounds of him, we can always tell if we've done too many drugs because he'll be the first to pass out. He's like our mind canary. Yeah, right. Exactly. As soon as you stop singing, we're not going further. I know that was for carbon monoxide, right?

Beats me. Some kind of gas leak. Owen, did you step on a scale at home last night? I did. And he texted me and Kyle. He did. What did he say? 143 was mine.

21 hours ago, they tweeted that we are making a movie for a top secret project we would love to have everyone who wants to participate email work at bigdogs.com are they making boner dogs no details i just want someone fucking email me yeah and they had a very clever electoral college map. Wait. They combined life is good and big dog for the ultimate graphic. Yeah, this is good. Life is dog. Life is dog. You dog is good.

Life dog is good. Life is dog. I love them. Would you get a life is dog tattoo? Yes. I would, yeah. That would be my first. They retweeted Big Cat. Yeah.

Right there. Yes. Their t-shirt models are the perfect level of diversity. Yeah, I may be big, but I'm also big. Wait, that's not. That can't be real.

These tweets are insane. They rock. The one that just says lasagna, and it's a dog on a desk. That's the Oval Office, isn't it? The Oval Office. This one just says, but. Are we the worst negotiators ever because we're just driving it up? Like, people are going to start following.

Is this their pride shirt? We got to stop promoting them because then they're going to start following. Is this their pride shirt? We got to stop promoting them because then they're going to be like they're going to kill us in negotiations. You're single handedly just boosted Yeah, right. I'm negotiating against myself. Yeah, you are. This is bad. People are buying them now.

Right. No, do not. They're terrible shirts. They'll get you high and they also are cardboard. Wait. Are they comedians? I don't know. Are they comedians? I don't know. The one covered in watches?

This is unhealthy. I mean, KB, you would be perfect to run this account. I think you're the man for this job. How do I open a PDF? And it's a dog in sunglasses yeah they're they're ahead of us oh my god light years light years all right so i just got a producer note from steve uh he wants to do some non-pod non uh radio stuff and so he wants us to just riff a little bit um and steve you gave us some notes on what to talk about uh one was a little bit um and steve you gave us some notes

on what to talk about uh one was a pussy eating technique so steve why don't you hit us with those we'll go and we'll go around the we'll go around the room we'll start with you we'll start with you all right thank you for that um i'm gonna get absolutely barbecued for this but um i actually watched a video on how to do it and it's do it and yes yes this is true this is true um youtube or like some like an explicit website an explicit website i don't think it was on youtube a tutorial it was from uh adult film stars a bit of a porn and they were giving instructions oh yeah i did they were male porn stars no female oh so you actually get you know kind of the inside scoop sure so uh yeah and this was probably like november 1st 2000 maybe no this was probably maybe like 2009 i mean i was

you know 23 years old right in my prime. Because beforehand you compared yourself to a dog over kibble. And not anymore. You're more of Monet with his brush. Much more proficient, I would say. I have not had very many subjects to test on.

I don't think it matters. You used to think the tongue, you should have treated it like your penis to penetrate it in and out. What did you learn? It's called painting the fence. And, uh, that's a industry term for,

uh, the way, uh, MIT, all adult film stars eat out women. They paint the fence. Yes. With a very in and out tongue gesture because it looks good on camera but that's not actually effective or pleasurable for a woman so so what is um

do tell steve i mean you just you just got to get right up in there you got to get uh you got you got to get right up in there i mean nose and everything you gotta make make use of your full face and uh yeah really your full face full face your full face that's in there yeah like you know nose and then your bottom lip is very very crucial the face is much larger than what i would imagine correct pussies yeah i mean if you can imagine he's talking about he's talking about like the mask region. I think. Yes. Yes.

The mask region. Oh, now, okay. Now I'm speaking her language. So you, you go in chin first and you go down. If you guys can.

Okay. No, it probably, you know, uh, upper lip, upper lip slash, uh,

nose region. And then, uh, yeah, it's very, very, but no bottom lip. No,

the bottom lip is actually your face down there she looks down you just look like a scream mask can't let the bottom lip touch just yet but uh yeah i mean the bottom lip probably the most important part it's the very make your tongue as flat as possible up and down the bottom lip follows and uh just consistent motion like that. And you're going to get there pretty quick. So that's what you do when you're under the covers. Owen, you went undercover two days ago.

Jesus. Yeah. He did. Tell us about that. Whenever we send you on a mission, what's going through your brain? I'm usually just like thinking like i wish i wasn't doing this yeah yeah you're the only one that's thinking that because we all love it yeah and i don't know at what point does it become bullying has it already um well i uh view you guys

as my friends so i don't think so yeah um yeah yeah well we sent you undercover for the second time and it's always you know the first time was with dave and this time it was into your own was it a performance review uh yes and your contract was dwindling it's up on friday tomorrow the 13th tomorrow oh boy yeah and that had been something that was weighing on you yeah i've been very anxious about it very anxious lost weight stopped sleeping yeah but you uh we asked you to do it and like steven about to devour a pussy you dove in chin first chin and uh went to your interview with Gaz Bugged. And here's that.

What? Owen has a meeting. He gets a shirt. With who? Yes. Tell him the meeting will await. Should he go undercover for the meeting? Yeah.

Let's hear this. It's like he's finding out if he gets a job or not. I would love it if Owen got fired. Yes. Oh, no, you have have to do it you have to put out the phone well uh fuck i'm sorry on i have to what you have to go undercover you have to go undercover oh yeah you know you know you do no you have to this one is like the next one for sure no no no you have to we don't know if there's a next one yeah that's why I can't do it. I'll wear a big dog shirt. Yeah.

No, no, no. You'll call in and just put the phone down on speakerphone. We'll only make you do it for a minute, okay? Yeah. And then you guys can get in the real meeting, okay? Yeah. All right, should I go get somebody? Yeah, go get the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who is it? I don't think he can. Oh, boy. Somebody just said Gaz is looking for Owen. Let's stop talking when we look at Owen. Oh. Yeah. All right. We won't get the guy.

Owen, do you need to go to your meeting for real? Nah, fuck it. No! No, because you know what he's doing right now. He doesn't want to go because he doesn't want to call in. Oh, yeah. That was tricky. That was a tricky move.

If I get fired, I get fired. Wait, you just got a text. You just texted Gaz. Yeah, you did. What'd you do? Mr. Gaz. Mr. Gaz, they get fired. Wait, you just got a text. You just text Gaz. Yeah, you did. What'd you do? Mr. Gaz. Mr. Gaz, they're making me spy on you. I'll be up at 154.

Come on, Owen. Just a little undercover meeting. I mean, I've been like physically uncomfortable all day. Think about this meeting. Can I take my one pass? No. Yeah, you don't have a pass. All right, so you're going to go do your meeting?

I think so. You might have grabbed Evan first. I was just going to check. You guys need anything? No, I need you to call in just for the first minute, and then you can get to the real stuff. All right. I mean, I already told Gaz that you're my guy alright you're pretty much

safe I'll call him you're safe you're the whole graveyard of guys and you're wearing a big dog shirt yeah dude that's the most intimidating thing you can do at a meeting yes you're good alright I'll call him

he got some confidence he looked down at that dog and he got some confidence. Do you have the number? He looked down at that dog and he got some confidence. No, call the number. Go talk to Colby. He just did it last week. Did he lose the number? I'm trying to get gas to look at his phone. Fire him.

To fire him? Yeah. All right, you got the number? What if he cries? Probably will. Now you can't cry in a big dog shirt. So wait, are you saying... You good? Yeah.

Alright, he's giving thumbs up. Call in! What are you doing? If you cry in a big dog shirt, it just vanishes. The dog bites you. I don't know if Gaz looked at his phone though. I said, Owen's going to come in and record it Gaz he for sure looked his phone Fire him in the first hour

First minute His powerpoint is on his phone We'll see where it goes Where the hell is he He's not calling in He's not calling in He's coming back down He's coming back down Can He's coming back down.

Can't find Gaz. Gaz is in a meeting with somebody else already. He lost his meeting time. He's in trouble. Are you in trouble? No, I think somebody else just took my spot. What?

Can we hear their meeting? Who? Yeah. So, are you going to call? Yeah, when I get up there for sure. All right, who took your spot? Evan. All right, so when Evan comes down, I'll go up.

And there's Evan. There's Evan right there. There he is. Wait, Evan, hold on. No, he's paused. No, he's just looking at his phone. What is he doing? He's paused. There's Evan right there. There he is. Wait, Evan, hold on. No, he's paused. No, he's just looking at his phone. What is he doing? He's paused.

Hold on. He's not up there, though. Hold on. You've got to wait until he comes all the way down. No. And now, call. Call. I just texted Evan.

Try to tell Gaz to look at his phone. Oh, Gaz saw it. All right. Is this? We're going to. I don't know about this. Does Gaz have acting chops? He's on. They had the same capris and...

I don't know if you can hear. We can't hear anything. Oh, there we go. Muted. Muted, Owen. Oh, I'm muted. Alright. Alright. So, hello? Steve? all right so hello yeah you're good so summer internship that turned into a fall internship i'm going through the stuff that you listed out uh that you did um you basically talked about a two-pronged approach for

staff and trends. Can you give me a little bit more information about that? Yeah, so me and Evan, obviously, the last five. For everyone listening, Gaz knows. Uniforms and dead mascots, those do well, but then

we've also been gaining a lot of traction more deep dive stats and like like offensive efficiency and stuff like that so it's like

that's actually useful for gamblers yeah I'm looking for you're picking up other things outside of gambling so

Enos yeah what are you guys doing for a I'll be like producing the next third mic on there third mic

and do it like barely I thought John Lowe was producing that yeah he is so you're producing it I don't that's what they call me

I just sit in their meetings so you just sit there okay um the yak did you authorize the yak twitter to become active

because Dave Bourne and I did not want that that I'm not want that. You're not sure. Who gave you the ability to post? Like Big Cat, MKB, and Nick. All three of them gave it to you.

I'm going to go up. Oh, this is getting bad. You have, like, a spider. He's on the jug Spider Spider Spider has tasks Spider, did you feel the need to So, some random fun stuff I've done is random odd jobs Getting copies, finding dolphin costumes

For advisors, Jimmy Butler Jersey Fritz CFP Suits for Big Cat, making fake IDs for Roan Yeah You made fake IDs for Roan? Yeah. Wait, wait. You made fake IDs for Roan? For what? Like Notre Dame student IDs.

Sounds like you're about to get fired, so I'm going to hang this up. Oh, man. Wait, wait, wait. That felt like it was pretty real. I don't think Gaz got the text. I think Gaz did not get the text. You know what?

Good on Owen for ratting out all of us instead of just one of us. No, he didn't rat me out. He rat all you guys out. Oh, we wouldn't let you have the yak pass. I know. That would just be selfies of your good hair days. Yeah. He's freaking out. Is he?

Oh, my God. I feel pretty bad. No. No, because Gaz laughed. Gaz was like, yeah, Dan told me beforehand. Gaz did a damn good job. My God. I thought he was going to get right into it.

I thought I was going to get fired. I felt nerves for myself. Everyone listening, Owen's not going to get fired. I felt nerves for myself. Everyone listening, Owen's not going to get fired. I gave him a seal of approval yesterday with Gaz, so he's good. That was fucking hilarious. That was good. Oh, my God. I can't wait until he comes back down.

He's probably going to be shaking. That knee is going to be going off the chain. It's going to look like the Richter scale in tremors. I wanted to see where he was going to get. He was going to just bring him down slowly and painfully. Oh, Gaz is good at that shit. Yeah. I texted Gaz.

I was like, hey, just. Just like everything he said to him. I thought he was just going to be like, hey, man. Not in the budget to keep you around. No. No. It was just like. What did he say when I went up?

It was just getting worse. He was like, he's bringing up Roan. You got fake IDs for Roan. Who authorized this. And you're doing odd jobs. Like getting coffees. You're making him feel real shitty about his dolphin costume? I fucking love Owen. My God.

That was great. That was great radio. Damn. You could hear the emotion in Owen's voice. He was on one? Oh, my God. Incredible. What? Imagine this kid's last 20 minutes he had to read how it became such a cum whore he's doing a great job though he's fucking hilarious what he's doing he's crushing it he's also pretty much got a job for life now because i like if anyone does it's him yeah right

well he's gonna i be a big dog. Gaz was like, what do you think? And I was like, yeah, Owen's a fucking star. Yeah, he is. Reluctant. Reluctant star, but a star nonetheless. We will drag him to stardom. Yeah.

Owen's going to be the next bachelor. Owen called me once and I picked up and he said, hey. And I didn't know if something something good happened or like something tragic happened. He's impossible to read. Oh, here he comes. All right. All right. Come on.

Come on. We'll get guys too. Yeah. Yeah. Owen still doesn't look happy. Owen, how are you feeling? Another classic gotcha. Jazz jazz what did you uh jesus you got him good i was like you had him yeah no he's rattled he's like he was just talking when

he walked down the stairs like i wish this was like the one thing i could have had like to myself i really wanted to have a conversation with you about the future. You had it after. No, he did after. Did you over-delivered? No, he did perfectly. I was like. I mean, he had like a whole sheet broken down. He was very good.

So wait, is he full-time? I started just picking the weird shit. His own full-time? No, not Carly. We'd love to have him full-time. I just got to work through the timing. Yeah, I think he's done a great job. You're going to be full-time eventually.

So did it go well after we hung up? Yeah, I think so. I was a little just getting my equilibrium back. Oh, it's equilibrium. What is that? You're shaking. You were trying to answer. I knew

something was awry when you said Dave in the Yak account. I feel like he probably doesn't know there's a Yak. No, Dave. That was all real. No, that was very true. That was a callback to me. The same move to me. Way back. All right. Yeah. So, yeah. I don't know.

All right. But he got glowing reviews. Yeah. Everyone he's worked with has been very happy. So it's good. We love him. So, yeah, I don't think anyone's had anything bad to say about Owen. Group chat. When he was on our group chat for the first time. Oh, bestiality.

Should we bring that up? Nah, we've done enough. Not for the gas. It's low-tier bestiality. Yeah, grade one. Not even a felony. Standard stuff. Misdemeanor.

Yeah. I wouldn't have done it. KB. No, no. You do got balls. Speaking of balls. Yeah. They're full of cum.

Oh, there we go. Okay. Yeah. Balls are full of cum. Except when they're not. When they get sucked out of them and uh let's circle back to jenny jizz because she's the best she is the best at what she does and uh steve pulled from her website you just had were you someone shot me a dm so i you probably got a dm from the same person you said um yeah i mean they

they shot me uh i guess like her about me or bio or whatever and it was uh owen read it on air which was pretty uh pretty entertaining yeah and again back to the bullying we made you do this on a national radio show and you don't use an alias to your name you're just owen roeder yeah and uh this was you reading uh smut do you guys use aliases oh yeah ali i huh uh yeah i didn't think of that um yeah it's a yeah i'm just talking about com i guess yeah nick's government name is actually nicholas not many people know that not Not many do. Steve, what's your actual last name? Che. I thought you were going to play along, but all right.

Let's just jump into the clip. He asked me to riff, and then he just stomps me in my tracks. Should we talk some changes? Why wouldn't we? So if you missed yesterday's show. Kate is going to that thing too. Kate is going. There is a Veterans Day sausage party in Florida that Kate's going in Orlando.

And she just happened to say that there was also, it was like free barbecue free beer and free blow jobs i i don't want to focus too much on the blow jobs because they are giving away beer barbecue and a lot of other good things the blow job just happened to be the the last part of the night right jenny jizz is giving away free blow jobs we looked her up her work uh she is definitely doing it owen would you like to read j Giz's testimonial? So, again, we... Somebody DM'd this to me last night.

No, Stephen Che wrote it. Stephen Che found this, which is actually frightening, is it not? That Stephen Che found this online? He went and found this. You want me to read this? This looks like a screen cap of like a early 2000s website.

Yeah. Okay. How did I become such a cum whore? And clip it. Yeah, clip that. Holy shit. Start again. We're going to keep rolling. No, no, start again. Start again.

Yeah. We're going to keep rolling. No, no, start again. Start again. Start again. Yeah. How did I become such a cum whore? Hi, guys. Wait, start again. One more time. I don't think she's sad, Owen. No, no.

She's not. No, she is. She is. It's very apparent. Yeah. All right. Start again. How did I become such a cum whore? Hi guys.

I'm Jenny Jizz and welcome to my home of naughty cum hunting. My husband, cum artist, and I are both cum lovers. It is our most favorite thing about sex. We randomly go out and hunt for cum. I also love to wear the cum I collect out in public. This whole time, cum artists will record this and we share it with our fans. We have been happily married for over 25 years and just in the last year started doing this. Lie.

That's a lie. We find regular people and ask them for their coffee. We have found come from taxi drivers, valet guys, strangers at bars, pizza delivery guys, and even our waiters at service at restaurants. We have also been known to interact with people in the industry. Stop for a sec. That's not a very wide group of people. It's all people that they would just run into. It's all the service industry.

Right. It's literally they just take a cab to group of people. It's all people that they were just running. It's all the service industry. It's literally they just go to they just take a cab to their favorite bar. That's it. All the same person. Pizza delivery guys and even waiters. And she used the word found after asking

them for it. She found them. Ah, there it is. Oh, it's in the box. Yeah. Can I continue? Why didn't I check there first? Is she like just creating the greatest crime lab of all time? She has a database. She has everyone's DNA. She's 23andMe.

She invented 23andMe. Yes. Okay, keep going. Oh, no. Music, please. Geez. Why don't you start at the top? No.

Another way, another favorite way of hunting cum is to visit glory holes and adult theaters. There, my hubby lets me get as much cum as I can. Cum artist also sets up meetups with my fans. I'm such a lucky girl. Say that line again. Say it again. I'm sorry. Say the whole thing again.

Cum artist also sets up meetups with my fans. I'm such a lucky girl. I don't even have to look for it. My hubby does it for me. Does she know he has come? He probably doesn't. Who could ask for more? You're right.

That is a good question. Jenny Chiz married a man without cum. All business being. Who could ask married a man without cum. All business to you. Who could ask for more? The cumless man. Who could ask for more? I can. I can. I can.

I can. More cum. I can never get enough of the sticky stuff. Wait a minute. She used cum like 55 times and then she decides to switch it up? Okay, finish it up. Enough about me. Feel free to go through my site and see the journey of my life.

If you like what you see, then join us on our adventures of come hunting and any other crazy stuff we can get into. Like what you see so far? Join now to see all of my updates. I can, I can. More cum, that is. Now...

The Jizz family, I like to think, like, she brings her husband home to meet her parents. Just like, Dad, I love him! Jennifer, he has no cum. Oh, my God. The cum artist was whom? he has no cum oh my god the cum artist was whom her husband

her married husband legal husband they've been together for 33 years and he supports her collecting other foreign cum he demands it but you have to think at a point he does have a limit maybe it's when it's like don't wear it think at a point he does have a limit maybe it's when it's like don't wear it out

yeah at what point and she's like and but she loves wearing it out or maybe she thinks he does like maybe they both hate it just don't this could be a very sad story i mean she like she cheated she cheated on him 27 years ago and he just saw because she had like like you know just in her hair just like in your hair yeah oh my god what'd she have in her hair come and he and he's like doesn't it's the hottest woman he's ever been with there is a discrepancy between the two he's like no it's okay like i actually i actually like that uh-huh and she's like oh my god i made one mistake and now i have to do this forever she's like yeah like that. She breaks it to him. It's like a mental illness.

She needs to. She doesn't have any sexual attraction. No. She loves him. No, it's like collecting. She's got to get it all. You both hate it. I forget what we were talking about.

What's our next one? I don't know. Searching for cum? Searching for cum. He's the cum artist. That's his cum artist. That's his alias. I thought it was his real name.

So the video with Kate leaked a trailer last night. This guy looks exactly like you would expect. If I were a sketch artist and I would have drawn this guy beforehand, it'd be a 100 out of 100. So this was a big week for owen because while we do mess around with him we love him and appreciate him right kyle yeah yeah have you if you think yeah and uh he was all all but well he

was guaranteed a job forever for life. Correct. Unfireable no matter what he says or does. Unless he kills someone. Unless he kills someone. There was a no murder clause, yeah. Yes. But that was huge for you.

And you almost weren't hired here. Yeah. For the interview, your interview process, you came in, I interviewed. Yeah, I wore a suit. I, um, I don't know. I had worn suits to all my other interviews. None were like this one, I guess. I came in February.

Um, I thought it went well. I had a lot of ideas that I thought I shared, uh, full of energy. Um, it is better to wear the suit than the kid that came in dressed as a cow. Did you see him, Steve? full of energy. It is better to wear the suit than the kid that came in dressed as a cow. Did you see him, Steve? There was a gentleman, and you could see it in his eyes. He regretted the cow costume. As soon as he walked in. And then he had to just sit around the office in the cow costume.

With nobody interacting with him i'm sure he was thinking on the train and just like oh man like who would i retweet if like riggs got a selfie with me and like big cat like i think i'd have to retweet big cat but i love riggs but none of that happened he was just sitting in the lobby full cow suit everybody just walking past i don't yeah he like we yeah geez he knew the second he walked in and that's just not something you gamble with a suit not as big as a gamble if anything that's safe from for most environments he's not gonna be able to eat cheese again it also wasn't no dairy ptsd it was a makeshift suit but it looked like a suit oh what which yeah which

is a thing it was a navy blazer with navy slacks. You thought it went well? It went splendid in your eyes? Yeah, I came in with a plan and I thought I delivered. So your interviewer and you ended up finding this out later, took notes on you. Yeah, I got an email

around 72 hours after the interview that they were moving on without me that was the that was the wording yeah moving on without you sent from iphone it's just like i don't know yeah we'll keep listening to all our stuff though well they took they took notes on you yeah and those surfaced and we learned about those. Let's listen to that.

So Owen's calmed down. I think everything's good. He's going to get a full-time job. I'll actually, Owen, I'll tell you right now, I'll guarantee it. Okay? It's going to happen.

You're our guy. You also guarantee, yeah, you get probably a job, the security of anyone else. I did say job for life. As long as you don't do anything that would get you fired like that murder stuff we were just talking about yeah don't do that um also shout out to you for again you're down for everything because you did actually go into that interview with the phone on but you didn't realize that i texted gaz and told him heads up. Yeah. I thought he was just coming at me.

Yeah, he was. He was coming at you. He was, perfectly. Like, just the right amount of subtlety. I think I'm going to help produce anus. He's like, well, Jeff DeLos is producing anus. Yeah, we heard, yeah. So you just sit there and do nothing, huh? It was great the way he phrased it, too.

He's like, so what's the deal with anus? All right, so, Owen, what do you have in your notes app right now? Oh yeah. I was thinking about in the shower, how it's like crazy that I work here. I've always wanted to work here. And I had remembered, I'd put notes about barstool in my iPhone notes before.

This is from December 5th, 2016, 2016. Yeah. Jesus. Oh my God. So my idea, if I ever got an interview was... Wait, so how old are you?

22. I just turned 22. So you're 18? Yeah. I was probably a senior in high school. Yeah. 18. Yeah.

Okay. We had just moved to New York. Yes. Okay. It just says, resume on T-shirt. Bring Adderall. That's good, dude. That's good.

Save that for when we buy Big Dog. A Big Dog resume? Yeah. All bite, no bark. Yeah, print them. This is where it gets more confusing. Bring Adderall for Dave. Chicken parm for KFC. Okay. Print them. This is where it gets more confusing. Bring Adderall for Dave. Oh, my God.

Chicken Parm for KFC. Okay. Mint Skull for Fights and a Providence Future for Big Cap. Ooh, okay. That actually works. I don't know why I would bring Chicken Parm for Kevin. But that is exactly what you would want. Oh, yeah.

If you had gotten me a Providence Future, I absolutely would have listened to you. And that was written at 1249 a.m. I must have woken up in a cold sweat with the idea. Genius. Is that it? Yeah. That's actually not. That's it.

That's not a bad idea. It's a resume on his shirt and gifts. That probably would have worked. Wow. So have you had that moment where you're like, holy shit? This is before college, so you didn't even start. What was your plan to get an interview? I didn't really have one.

You just had it. But I do think it's worth noting that when you did get the opportunity to come here, you didn't do any of that stuff. No, I wore a suit. Really? Oh, my God. Terrible idea. Yeah, really bad.

Who did you interview with? Like the whole Viceroy program. It was documented. Oh, yeah. Did you see this? Katie. Is there a video? I found the notes about my interview.

Oh. Did she keep notes on everything? No. I found the notes they took on me. Yeah. What did they say? This guy's electric? Bring her in. Bring her in. me. Yeah. What'd they say? This guy's electric? It was Katie.

Bring her in. Bring her in. Katie. Katie. She probably feels dumb. Yeah. Big mistake. Katie, who people know, she's on Unnecessary Roughness, also Pickham.

Katie Statz. Viceroy Katie Statz. Katie, you interviewed Owen? Oh, no. Yeah. What did you think of him? You want me to read the notes? Yeah, read. Yeah. What did you think of him? You want me to read the notes? Yeah, read the notes.

Owen Roeder, Providence, May 2020. Does stuff for bets. No personality. Where are you? Wait. Yes! And a sad handshake. You nailed it, Andy.

Yeah, that's perfect notes. You fucking nailed it. What else could she have written down? Was that it? Were those bad? What do you mean? This is his bread and butter. He's crushing it.

Oh, no, no. I can stand here. Well, the handshake is still on. But like, no, personality. Now I can stand here and say I was wrong. No, no, no, no, no. You were very right. That's why he's electric.

He has no personality. The absence of a personality is a personality. Right. That's why he's the most electric man in showbiz. So then he is entertaining. Oh, wildly.

You're welcome. I mean, he's on the act. He's pretty much on the act now. How did you get hired? He's pretty much part of the act. How did you get hired? Oh, they said no to me. Well, why are you here?

Why are you here? On my way out, I went and talked to Jack McCarthy and said I wanted to work on the gambling team. And I just kind of worked for free for like six to eight months. Wow. I'm fucking awesome. Wait, are you getting paid right now? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, we only hire like kyle me and ben only hire social team so he he failed his interview yes he failed as a social person yes the fucking story of owen is just it is incredible all right well thank you katie no problem that was a great note do you remember what i was wearing no i wait actually i think it was like a brown like coat, like peacoat. Wrong. Do you remember? Yes, I was wearing a suit.

What color? No, you weren't. Yes, I was. Navy suit. Wow. No tie. Connecticut casual. Oh.

At least he had a resume. Half the people did. Was it on his shirt? The shirt? The resume? No. It would have been cool if it was. Someone came in a cow onesie. What? Yeah. I do that. Was it on his shirt? The shirt? The resume? No. It would have been cool if it was. Someone came in a cow onesie.

What? I remember that. I was here. That's trying too hard. You could tell he was aware of that post bringing a change of clothes. Right. It is his job. You remember him, so it worked.

Where is he? He's in Michigan. He's not here. Clearly. Oh, it is. Where is he? Yeah. He's in Michigan. Oh, he's not here. Clearly. It was just tough because I didn't wear the suit. Like, ironically, I thought like I was. Yeah. No, you.

Yeah. No, I know. I know. Yeah. It's a fine line. I know you didn't wear the suit. Ironically. This will knock him dead.

I'm joking. All right. Thank you, Katie. Appreciate it. I'm joking. All right. Thank you, Katie. Appreciate it. What a fucking, oh my God. No personality. I mean, and now you are, I mean, you are on the act. Yeah.

It's been a blast. Zero errors. Gold glove. Good God. The God theory. How's it going? You cannot miss. Fuck. Yeah. I don't want How's it going? You cannot miss. Fuck.

Yeah. I don't want to say it in front of him. Owen is your friend that, like, everyone has one of these guys in their group that he might not be the funniest or most gregarious. But when he's not there, you feel like you're not having as much fun. You, like, look around and you're like, oh, this doesn't feel like a real night out. Where's Owen? You're that guy. Everyone has that friend who's like,

it's not official until that person shows up. Yeah, that was adorable what you just said. I mean, it's the truth. Yeah, I appreciate that. I mean that wholeheartedly. Yeah. Fucking Owen. What a guy.

What a guy. And he's here because he just didn't leave when Dion came on. Owen's first date. That was my first time on. He didn't want to. He thought that would be disrespectful to leave. So it was.

That's right. I went to Dion. And he just stayed? Yeah. Why don't you start from the top? How did I become such a cum whore? Nah. Fuck that shit. yeah no i just sat here for like 20 minutes and then brand was like oh yeah you didn't think to leave i was like i thought it'd be rude yeah i thought it would have been rude i mean you're unobtrusive so yeah yeah and um

the owen ugly christmas sweater is coming out yeah we're working on that it's just gonna say owen it's a white sweatshirt with black size 12 helvetica yeah it just says owen no yeah it should be jonah hill from moneyball and he's like nah owen said that was a little bit too flamboyant too frivolous we did have them in gray and he was like, what? What am I? Yeah. So I do feel high right now.

I do too. It's the, it's the shirt. Yeah. I think, yeah. I think like a white with a, a less white font text. A little bit less white. Yeah. You have to be in a certain lighting to see the words oh

so yeah from more than 10 feet away you can't read it read it right up next to it um all right well this has been a great show yeah great yak yeah so Yack. Yeah. So. What else? You want him to do a full read on the way out? No, I mean, we just. Y'all just want to leave Owen to do the last minute and a half? Yeah, this is like, we kind of did it. Nah, he's been through enough today.

Put him through the ringer. He fucking punches back, though. Hell yeah, he punches back. Well, not really. He more just takes punches. Great chin. He's like the man who can't be knocked out. Fucking.

That fucking chin. I'm telling you why. It was fully out. Oh, man. Fucking mask. God. Name of the Father, Son, Holy Ghost, help me God. If I see that broad's face, I'm going to fucking erupt.

I mean, she's fucking asking to get catcalled with that face out. This is the accent that starts in Boston and ends up in Seattle. This is somebody that I've heard before. I just wanted to say it's been great being on the Yak. Couldn't ask for more. Are you leaving? Except I can, I can. It's more cum.

Let's go. I can, I can. This is disgusting. What? I can't keep looking at it. Cum is disgusting. I have an aversion to it. Really?

That's why I don't do it. Mm-hmm. If I open up Pornhub and the first video thumbnail is a girl with cum all over her face, I close That doesn't turn you on? Off. Disgusting. I think you're in the majority. Yeah.

That wasn't a hot tale. I guess that wasn't an unpopular opinion. I see a chick with just cum all over her place. I guess that wasn't an unpopular opinion. It must be over her place. I think guys like watching like come comp. No, but on the after, like you see, you know, even the during. Yeah. Not for you.

Yeah. Yeah. The last line of every porn should be I'm about to come and then it cuts. It's ironic that you say that, because what does your shirt say? It says BS. The only... What does it say? What does it say?

The only freaking BS I want is beer and sex. And I'm already fucking drunk. And I don't even like cum. So pull down your fucking mask. All right, got the panties off. Mask! It's mask time. It's mask.

Pull the mask off. I'm going to get her right out of that mask. No, bet me. That broad over there, give me one hour. She'll be back at my place. Back at my place. Clumpled on the floor. Right out of her mask.

Panties off. Broad. Gone. Mask. Mask. Mask. Mask. Where's the off. Bra gone. Mask. Mask. Mask. Where's the mask? Nowhere.

I do this thing. I rip it off with my teeth. All right. So Nick and I, we actually have, we have, is it the state or just our county record for most gym teachers? Yeah. We cycle through them just because I think our class happened to be very sexy for kids like for kids for kids yeah sexy yeah especially for our area um and our gym teachers

had the lifespan the career span of uh of like a like a professor against the dark arts at hogwarts didn't they get a new one every book i was going for something like frequent like something that would last a day oh like a like a fruit fly yeah like a fruit fly yeah okay yeah oh like a hell yeah like an ice cream cone in the south on a hot day maybe yeah fuck it yeah sure okay you you weren't fuckable as a kid I was one of the least fuckable I think you never really knew But I kind of was You definitely were Because you had been fucked

I was factually fuckable You were factually fuckable because As a boy, as a child As a child You were fucked i i was so yeah i was fuckable in every way possible figuratively literally but i liked mr gibbous he was our he was my favorite of the 29 gym teachers we had granted granted that school granted our school was kindergarten to eighth so there was a lot of time for a gym teacher.

It wasn't purely physical. They were able to know us. He would always do the one where we would go under the parachute. He loved that. He'd be hiding in there every time. Yeah. But Mr. Gibbous loved him to death. But.

Here's a big but. Yeah, here it is. He was extraordinarily racist. And his name was Dwayne Gibbous. His name was Dwayne. Which a lot of people probably think, you know, wow, Big Cat just brought up that the moon was a waning gibbous that we aren't lying it just sparked that suppressed what else would it wane gibbous his name was duane but he refused to let people call him duane he was like now what i'm waiting that he it was a racist thing it was a racist thing um but he was he was the longest tenured gym teacher

besides mr dietrich but absolutely yeah absolutely and by second longest tenured i mean he was there for three months three exactly three months i remember it was his three month anniversary yeah i remember he he went too far well yeah because the first the first of every month was always parachute day. And you lift up the parachute. Every time you lift up a parachute, there's Mr. Gibbous. And so we went. I remember after gym class, we're all sweaty.

We always were so sweaty. We walk through the locker room. Mr. Gibbous is in there. No, because he stood at the door and we had to walk through with our arms up. He'd spray us with that. We were like, well, this time we're like, whoa, Mr. Gibbous. He was like, what? It's my three month anniversary.

We have to celebrate. And he was right. Celebrate we did. Uh-huh. But little did we know that that would be a goodbye party. I don't know if it was a consensual celebration. But like, let's just jump

into that. Let's see. 1999. Do you remember the light? I do not. It was a waning gibbous

in October 30th. KB and I had a gym teacher named Wayne Gibbous. We did. We did. We did. His name was Dwayne. But he was very racist. So he just said, I'm Wayne.

I don't want any. He did not want to be called Dwayne. He didn't even want teleprompters to, like, confuse him for a black man. Dwayne. I'm fucking Wayne. Okay. So you guys just need that little trigger to get off on the show. His dad was, like, a volunteer custodian.

Very old. I know. And he would always probably be like, he would call him Dwayne. That little trigger to get off on the ship. His dad was like a volunteer custodian. Very old. I know. And he would always call him Dwayne and then Dwayne would fume. Yes. But what was his job? Because he was not a staff member. His dad?

And he was always mad. He hated cleaning. They called him handy. He was a handyman. Did it. Mr. Gibbous. Mr. Gibbous. Yeah. Dwayne Gibbous. Oh, man. You just know it's Wayne. Gibbous? Mr. Gibbous. Yeah. Dwayne Gibbous.

Oh, man. You just. No, it's Wayne. If he's listening, he's pissed. He's pissed. I couldn't tell if he hated Carter Huffman or loved him. Like, weirdly. He hated Carter Huffman. By the way, I remember my mom wouldn't let me go to school the first of every month.

It's Gibbous Day. It's Gibbous Day. It's Gibbous Day. It's Gibbous Day. Honey, just go back to bed. Oh, no. It's Gibbous Day. But Mom, Kyle always gets you. All right.

Thank you guys for listening to the boy uh that's it that was oh yeah all right i'll see you i'll see you all right um be sure to like and subscribe what should what should uh comment this week uh just say if you're a boy lover or not comment that on the on on any podcast platform