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Episode Date: September 10, 2020

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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Like, correctly listing the records is data. But it's been a year and he's still doing the same thing. I'm floored by the term spit out. I can't even articulate. Like he's throwing it into a machine on a factory line, and it spits out like a pair of shoes like in fucking Jumanji.

Yes. I love him so much. I love Stephen Che so, so much. When Stephen Che first asked if he could be the Yak producer, and this is back when it was me, Ronan, and Jared. I want to know the origins of this. Yeah. Not character.

He's real, but this type of Stephen Chay. So Stephen asked. He's like, hey, I really want to, you know, this is a passion of mine. Like, I really want this opportunity. I was like, yeah, let's do it. And I think I've told him this. I don't want to hurt his feelings. But for the first six months, I really did not not like Stephen Che because I didn't understand him then when I understood him he is

easily my favorite person because you realize he's just a genuine sports loving dude he's just a dude best of the best he is the best of the best there will hit a week this NFL season though when one of these teams say the Redskins are predicted to have five wins and they get their sixth win of the season, or like the Jaguars are predicted to have, whatever, two wins and they get their third win, that the data will be incorrect. Right. They won't reach a point where the data is wrong, and I don't know what to do when we get to that bridge. There's no coming back.

No, he can always go back and adjust the data. No. Oh, I forgot. No. You can't. Well, I mean, go back and adjust the data. No. He'll still have the file. He'll still have the file and he'll still have the algorithm. And the tab.

He's the best. I love him. We need to make these more of a part of the NFL season than last year. I think we kind of forgot about them. They need to be hanging up. But you don't want to take away from the specialness of today either. No, it's a day. It's a balance. I just fucking love this guy. He's an eight.

I actually think he might be a nine. He's a perfect eight. When you're doing personality. He's an eight out of eight. I saw this guy at the zoo. This guy is jacked. No, he actually looked incredible. We were walking behind him.

I said, Nick, look at his legs. And he was wearing a thinner white t-shirt, which is very easy to look bad in. No, no. That's actually the perfect way to like if someone was like what is steven shea like it's like listen when quarantine started he genuinely started a push-up club to try to get us all to like get in shape we being cynical fucking assholes shit on it and lazy made it made a mockery of it i'd like to imagine none of us did any and he then went on and did 20 000 push-ups and looks awesome he actually did like he proved to all of us how

stupid we are because he actually does look sick and he he definitely uh justified the fact that he sits in there every day just thinking i'm'm hotter than all these guys. Yes, and he is. And he deserves it because he proves, like, if you were to just stop for a second and be like, hey, maybe I won't just be a cynical asshole and poo-poo everything in life. Like, what if I just had a positive outlook? Boom, Stephen Che, he's a 9.

He's a 9 out of 10. Credit to him, though. He did rank the guy that doesn't like him ahead of him. Yes. Well, that's it. That's data. That's where, like, Stephen Chia, like, he might be a genius. Because, like, to subtly be like, yeah, Caleb's.5 hotter than me.

He knows that's going to drive Caleb insane. I think that's Caleb's kryptonite is Stephen complimenting him. I wish Caleb could call in just to get a live reaction. Call him real quick, Colby. Complimenting him. I wish Caleb could call in just to get a live reaction. Call him real quick, Colby. What a show. God damn it. Brandon's getting his hair cut today.

Oh, yeah. How quickly we forget. Right after the show. I hope they screwed up. I'm sure they will. The content will be funnier if they screwed it up. Is it in the city? It is. I'm coming. We're all coming. I would like screwed up. I'm sure they will. The content will be funnier if they screwed it up. Is it in the city? It is. I'm coming.

If they shave their head. We're all coming. I would like to attend. Because I have very, they've sent me detailed rules on how to get into the building. So I don't know that you can, if you want to come, you can come. What is it? What is it? Like an escape house?

I don't know. A barber slash escape room? Yeah. Detailed rules on how to enter the building? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's through the ducts. Do you have to crawl through like a blue streak? And I go down through on strings.

Do you think that maybe that's because of your hotness or lack thereof? I think lack thereof. You're the 7.6. Obviously, you're the 7.6. I was the 6.4. If you were a 9, do you think they would be like, walk right in the front door? They haven't seen me. Well, they probably.

My picture's out there. Yeah. We can't have this type of car. There are some backdoor instructions. Caleb's on the phone with Apple support right now. And wear two masks. Said to wear two masks. Two masks?

Yeah. What, in case you lose one? No, just cover up the whole thing. Cover up all your holes? What's that whole thing called? Mask up all your holes. What is that? That bottom hole.

The single hole. Would it be better or worse if all of everything came out of one hole on your bottom? And would you rather have it be your penis hole or your butthole? I think the two-hole system is the best. Yeah, I like that system. I'm talking about for women.

I don't know. What is that? Three-hole system. I might have to block this guy. Add a third hole? This guy just said, Steve, I'm a big fan of you. Very big. If you go by week to week, personally picking wins from each game,

the Excel function is organizing your opinions, not facts. Fuck this guy. What? Shut up. Get out of here, dude. Get out of here. You're wrong. You're wrong.

We're about to destroy this guy with logic and facts. Get your peer on the line and let's fucking roast this guy. I don't think that guy understands how Stephen determines wins or losses. Or what data is. We should enter our opinions about this guy into an Excel file and see what it spits out. The facts are he can go fuck himself. It's opinionated. Anything that you put in an Excel sheet is data.

If you put go fuck yourself in an Excel sheet, that is the data. Oh, Caleb. All right, all right, real quick. We'll finish with him. Caleb. Caleb. Caleb. All right, all right. Real quick. We'll finish with him. Caleb. Caleb. Caleb. Hey.

Caleb, you just missed. We had an all-time Stephen Che show. We had his bold predictions, mostly talking about data and what the definition of data is. But we had him rank us all in hotness, and Stephen Che ranked you the hottest member of the Yak. What's up Mr. 8.4. No 8.5. He had you as an 8.5 and he was the second hottest at 8.

Wait what did he rank what was the scale. One to ten. That's lame. I would expect him to go at least 1-7. Dude, this is super disappointing. As a scout, right.