The Yak - Recapping the Case Race After Mark and Big Cat's Sphere Awakening | The Yak 6-24-24

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Go, DJ, pull that up. Hello, it's the Yak. All right. We're back. Hello. Roback.com, promo code Yak, 20% off your first purchase. Accusatives, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code Yak, 20% off. First purchase. The boys are back. I think Kate is in... Jersey. Jersey. Any fucking legends in the room? Yeah.

Look at the new logo. Look at that logo. Both those legends, both the legends sitting to my left are on the new logo. Completely forgot that that happened until I watched it. Same, dude. I thought it was like a dream. I thought I had a dream the next day. Anybody's headphones not working? No, mine work.

Mine work. I came home and I was like, I didn't get that drunk. I drank a decent amount before the case race. I had three shots of tequila and three high noons. Which is crazy. It was Rone's fault. Yeah. Rone also.

What? Don't do it. No, I'm not going not gonna do it did he buff the score a little bit let's just say i the the red team lost because we had to double do it which was so embarrassing which is i again i want to say has that ever happened i tried ever happened i was stuck in a impossible situation where it's like i want to make them entertaining teams fun teams competitive teams but if the team i'm on wins everyone will be like oh you fucking ruined it you stacked your team so i i think i made pretty fair teams we did need a double deutsch ronan kb the floor drank a lot of their beer ah i watched kb jump forward at one point and then he got mad at me for saying

that doesn't count he sucked the floor he just went like this he can't drink beer he can't drink beer he was pretty fucked up it's like no fault no matter what we would have lost

Ken because it was double Deutsch, but it was funny watching. Ron, I think, had figured out that every time you get like a mosh pit in the middle, a beer can just... Wait a minute. Oh, I remember like barely touching him and he fell to the floor.

Because I didn't realize it until we posted the before and after. Yeah. And he had 14 beers and he looked completely fine. I was like, what just happened? I was sopping wet. I had puke on my mustache. And the stretch run, Kate was just throwing the beer over her shoulder.

Yeah, right. There was a lot of everything. That's what I'm saying. Like, the correct team won. I had a pure nine. There's no appeal, but it was very, very, very funny seeing Roan looking totally fine after. I didn't get to experience Deutsch. Oh, my God.

I was throwing up after three beers. Throw up or common loogie? This was puke. You were the only one that was congested. Yeah, I finally am over my cold. Allergies. I want to personally apologize to you. As the referee, in haste and

hearing the other team i made the ruling that that was a puke was not i went back on further review i'm just i'm not gonna say it's not but i'm i don't think it it's at least a 50 50 50 50 yeah it's kind of an angle thing we had to stick with the call on the field but it could have been overturned yeah uh somebody's screen capped it at the widest trajectory. I had trapezoid puke. I lost my voice because of it. I was screaming, yelling.

I can't explain the width. Yeah, it was just a faucet, and then I would just kept on sneaking back in. That was so funny. Oh my god. Somebody had the other angle it was it's like six so much i was terrified that's that's the thing though i don't whenever i drink i i will i can puke and rally with the best of them i just get full so i had 10 beers in 45

minutes yeah it wasn't like uh i'm too drunk puke it was like i have too much liquid in my stomach yeah so i'm just gonna yell and scream it out and then i'll be good to go and then titus yeah you were how was it what was what happened when he got home oh i the second we stopped recording i went to the bathroom and threw up like crazy uh i had a very rough night i obviously miss work the next day i i loved i was watching it live because it was just, it really was, I think it's the first case race we did where no one was the loser. Like the chaotic energy was just so off the charts. It was so funny. But watching you go up in beers and then the comments be like,

now I understand why he wasn't at work. Yeah. That first comment happened after he had six beers in like three minutes. And I think right after I had my sixth, I was like after he had six beers in like three minutes. And I think right after I had my sixth, I was like, I'll probably have two or three more. Yeah. You just got unlucky with the draw.

I think I'm very unlucky with the draw. I don't know how that happened that I was first. Well, I know how you were first. Last was just random. Last was random. I was so mad. You said, I'm going to do 10. I said I was going to do 10, yeah.

That was what I told my girlfriend when I left the house. She was like, don't get too crazy. Because, like, you know, we did the Henny Friday on mostly sports, and that was really rough. And she was like, we don't want that again. I was like, don't worry. I'll do – I said, my plan is to drink five to seven. If things get crazy and my adrenaline gets going, I might try to push it to 10.

And that was the plan. And she was like, I don't know, 10 seems like a lot. And I was like, yeah, that's a lot. I probably won't do to 10 and that was the plan and she was like i don't know 10 seems like a lot and i was like yeah that's a lot i probably won't do that so that was my mindset that uh yeah i don't know i i remembered i remembered uh sorry to say this phrase like for the thousandth time but i do remember like springing out of the gates um and then i didn't remember much else so i didn't want to watch the my plan was to not watch the case race but then on friday as all the clips started pouring in and people are tagging I was like I remember none of this yeah so I went back and watched it last night and I was laughing it was because that that's the true test like the

the previous case races we've done I have not watched back because I've been so mortified in my own like behavior this one it just was everyone had moments and no one was really like too much because it was so many people yeah yeah like it couldn't be one person just talking right much and it just i it was so fun it was the most chaotic thing i wish look at that booger that's just the hot tua. It looks like I'm eating a giant slice of pizza. It's the biggest triangle.

I think I didn't puke or have a problem because I was out there for so long, and I think my pacing ended up being perfect where I had the fast start, and then if you go back and watch, I kind of start nursing beer. I had like six or seven in the first half hour, and then over the course of like the next hour i don't really drink that much but then when i was the last guy um there's a big push there so after the second big push which was like right after we got done recording i felt it like immediately yeah i just started throwing up like crazy i just did a i was just very lucky that none of that was on camera but the second we got done recording i was like oh, this is bad.

I wish people could have seen, like, the scene in this office was just so insane. Because it was like the case race was happening, but it was spilling out to everywhere. Yeah. And it was just, like, people in different rooms. Donnie puked in the shower upstairs and didn't tell anyone. They found it the next day. My favorite part, we'll rewatch the case race, is Donnie has a Rick for the Air Robe on and a hippopotamus face paint.

Inexplicably comes back after being gone for 20 minutes and is in a swimsuit. Soaking wet. Soaking wet. All the paint's off his face. I didn't notice. We busted that one. We were like, who would have puked? And then we figured out. Yeah, I didn't notice. We busted that one. We were like, who would have puked? And then we figured out.

Yeah, I didn't notice that when we were recording that at all. Yeah. So I got attacked three times on camera. Oh, Brandon, you deserve a lot of credit, by the way. You watching it back, that was a nightmare. So I got attacked by Dana. I got attacked by PFT. But the one that almost made me quit was not on camera.

Who was that? I don't know where we were. We were back here but the camera was over there one time don just hauled off and hit me he was one time and he did not know what the next day one time don just i was i was trying to like break up ron and something one time don just hit me upside the head he just took a fist and hit me and i turned and looked and he said and he just he just like looked at me blankly and i said said, what did you do that for? He didn't even answer.

He and Steven had a full-on wrestling match that wouldn't. I kept on saying stop wrestling, and they both were choking each other out at the same time. I put my hands up. Yeah. Yeah. TJ, I was just saying the Steven clip from him in the bathroom walking oh jay was the jay was the social mv all the clips outside of the actual show but this clip perfectly sums up the case race because it's him just struggling and then walking back

and throw up fuck you guys. He hugged me and then apologized for hugging me by hugging me. But this is like a walking out the tunnel of like an NFL game. It's like getting your MRI and it's clear and you go back in. Yeah. Are we singing Savage Garden? Yeah. Oh, boy.

I don't even remember that part. Oh, the clip of that, I am holding on for dear life. The scary... Legend. Legend. Look at this chaos. All the way to Yasem, it's over and everybody's still in there. She's not drinking! We're down three, Kate. Oh, my God.

This is the realest scaries I've ever had because we came in the next day, aside from Mark, and Liam Blutman came up to me and was like, you almost flushed my phone down the toilet. I said, dude, I didn't even talk to you during that. And then he tweeted out a clip of me stealing his phone. And I'm saying, I'm going to flush it. The Deutsch moment was, I mean. I need him around.

That minute where he was chugging, he chugged eight beers in three minutes while KB was just screaming, Deutsch has a gun. My favorite thing of rewatching it was KB's obsession with Deutch I didn't realize when we were doing it that that was going on but watching it back just like throughout the entire

case race just KB KB's just like sitting off to the side and suddenly be like where's Deutch should we get Deutch back he just kept peppering those you know what's fucked up like the whole next day I was like assessing the escapades like that Deutch dude was interesting I wish I would have like paid him more respect.

Oh shit. That's the only thing I do. He came in the next day for the PMT interview. And he said that he, he said at 930 in the morning, he blew a 0.07. And then during the PMT interview, he brought in a briefcase. And in the briefcase was a half a gallon of chocolate milk, and he chugged it in front of us in like three seconds. And we're like,

don't do this, please. And then had two more beers. And we're just like, what? Like, who is this? Chocolate milk in a briefcase is hilarious. How does that work? Does it fit a gallon? Did he pour it in the briefcase? He said zero words.

The whole case race. Yeah. He might have to. He didn't say a word. He didn't? He didn't speak the whole time. That's why I was obsessed with him. Yeah, we had.

That's awesome. At one point, he was sitting, like, I think in that chair, and we were asking him a million questions, and he was just like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that was his face. I'm going to say it right now. Deutsch wheel is just going to be on every case race going yeah like i will personally fly him out for every case road tried to hit him

with a chair i think we should have it on the normal wheel yeah and we he flies out the show can't end till he gets here when i went to get him after he'd done the first one he had a handler or something i've never seen the guy maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just a fan who got in here, and he said, no, he can't go back out there. He had somebody speaking for him. So what do we know about him? What did we learn about him? He dressed as Pat Summitt. He's, I don't know, he's like a dude who just, he learned that he could chug faster than anyone,

and that's just what he does. He said that he only drinks one day a week um and then he he like he tries to burn a thousand calories a day on the treadmill so like he's not in terrible shit he used to play basketball he can still i watched a video of him he did a a uh uh beer dunk where he threw the ball up chugged a beer yeah he did he threw the ball up to himself chugged a beer. Yeah, he did. He threw the ball up to himself, chugged a beer, and then caught it and dunked. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Like, okay, Deutsch. I was looking at his Instagram. His fans say he's getting faster by the day. Yeah, I think he might be. He hasn't even peaked yet. He's chugging faster and faster. Can you imagine when we get Pete Deutsch? He's not even there yet.

I don't even know what that would look like. Ronnie Deutsch. Yeah, there's some wild, like, I went through his Instagram. There's a video of him on a boat. Here's the beer chug. Or the dunk chug. He's in great shape. Yeah.

Nice. His music, yeah. He was just hooping after his performance for a while. Oh, my. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's good at basketball. What a specimen.

And he goes to tailgates. He went viral in this fall. The big first one was he went to a tailgate. I think it was either a Bills or a Patriots game, and he just had a booth, and it said $20 to $100. Like, if you put up $20, I'll put up $100, and he just kills everyone. Yeah, he usually sets up next to the porta-potties,

so he gets the line of Yeah. Jesus. He did this to me at the Army-Navy game. He came to Army-Navy and just had a sign being like,

$1,000 to charity chug off. He's damn good. It's crazy. Yeah, he's just a weapon. An absolute weapon. He did it in four innings. This was before, this was five hours before the case race. Think about what this challenge does to most people.

He knew he was doing the case race. Yes. He 100% knew he was doing the case race. Wait, wait. And then just a gallon of chocolate milk in between? No, that was the next day. Hung over, he did the gallon of milk. As he's drinking all this, he knows that later he's going to be called upon to drink a ton

of beer. Correct. And he was just so methodical when he came in. He didn't speak. Oh, he didn't waste words. Just chugged. He was here for work. Well, he was claiming he had a gun. Deutsch has a gun. All the guests really crushed the nice reveal. Shawcross. What a gun. Deutsche has a gun. All the guests really crushed

the nice reveal. What a cheat. He landed 30 minutes before he got here. His parents were in town. He was just like, I have to go for an interview. Then he landed and his flight was 9am the next morning. His face. Oh, this is Deutsche.

While you guys were still on, he was just hooping. Like a million beers in his system. And he was drinking in between his appearances. He went back to the gambling cave and was just casually sitting there. He's just wet. I didn't applaud him enough. How did I not know about him until this? You just might have to hire him as security.

Yeah, he's got the perfect name. Everything's perfect. Like I said, I'm happy he's on our side. Oh, my gosh. Because I don't want to be against Deutsch. No. We need him. He is on our side, correct?

Right or no? No, he is. If it comes out that he's Jeffrey Dahmer, I don't think he would eat any of us. No, we're all safe. Right, which is a good thing to have. Speaking of Zach, did Kate try to get Zach to perform oral pleasure on her? Well, it was that, and then also Hank just one-off. Oh, yeah.

Kate's looking right. Yeah. It was so funny. Out of nowhere, Hank said that. He got hot-miked, didn't he? As Kate's looking like Weird Al. Kate looking so wrong. Kate's looking right.

Oh, man. Kate's looking right. And then PFT's hair. Oh, God. I missed that whole thing. Yeah, you guys in the red team I don't think will ever understand the crisis we were in. His hair was completely sucked up by the leaf blower i think you posted that picture yeah that's such a funny sums up everything because it's pf that and the

spider balloon picture are yeah did you cut him out the two images for there was no getting that hair out of there look at it still in there the hair is in there he kept on screaming he kept on screaming get the get the scissors out of big cat's hands and i was just i would just like calmly he's like he's the drunkest guy here and i was like pft you only one you can trust and then i didn't tell him what i was doing i was like i think i'm gonna get it out and then i and then i cut it and i was like all right i cut you out because it was show the picture tj of his panic it was like pulling his skin up I cut you out. Because it was... Show the picture, TJ, of his panic. It was like pulling his skin up.

Yeah. And we couldn't hear him because the leaf blower was so loud and we were drunk. And we were still trying to get Dana in the balloon. Dana was naked. So Dana wanted to do it naked so when it popped we'd all see his micropenis. It's a great idea. It would have been awesome. Yeah, it's a great idea.

It would have worked. It would have been awesome, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Dana was... Poor Dana. Poor Dana would have worked, it would have been awesome. Yeah. Yeah, Dana was – Poor Dana. Like, him getting wheeled off first sucked. He was ready – Like, he was genuinely upset at himself.

Damn, I just didn't even know that. Yeah, he was the first wheeled off of our team, which that did not help. But he was like, yeah, I only drank 10 in Deutsch. He was, like, beating himself up about it dude you tried hard it's okay did anyone watch the full thing i did i watched almost the whole thing yeah look at this i did on the plane it's pft's panic eyes page trying to help and then me just like lurking with the scissors oh yeah i watched it friday and it was like what i didn't remember half of it yeah that's why it was

new i didn't want to watch it back but then i realized i don't remember what anybody did i don't remember really anything about it so i wanted to watch it back just so i like had a frame of reference yeah so much fun it was so awesome, yeah. But did it honestly translate? Did you think that was good? Yes. People liked it. Yes, because I was saying before you got here, like the past case races obviously have been a little bit more like yakking, riffing, which I love as well.

But we get too drunk and then someone gets annoying and everyone like piles on sass sometimes and people pile on that. This one was so chaotic, and no one was really on the mic for an extended period of time that it worked perfectly. That's saying a lot, yeah. The format works.

It's just like no one ended up losing. Because I always watch them back, and I'm like, I was just saying that I have not watched the other ones back because I'm mortified. I watched this full one, and I was like, everyone had a moment that was incredible.

Yeah, it was more actions. And any annoyances were a group annoyance. Right, exactly. It was just all of us yelling, and it's like, who cares? Yeah. Yeah, it was, yeah, I think we pulled off the first ever Royal Rumble case race. I think we might have to.

The entrances were incredible. I thought PFT's entrance, that was the hardest I laughed. PFT and then he uh he gave you a bronco buster on top of me yeah on top of you i didn't remember being on top of you yeah but he gave me a bronco buster and it felt in the moment like it lasted 35 to 40 seconds he everybody on team red he was doing suck in front of and then he gave you the bronco but that was a great entrance you had the great entrance big cat obviously sprinting out yeah i think i think royal rumble case race will have to be an annual thing yeah i think we're i think we'll do like a because titus and i were talking like case races are uh so much fun but i think we all go through so much pain that we need like

six months to to erase the pain from our brains to be like oh that's only fun and then we get back in and we're like no wait this is not fun we're yeah we're so so if we did like one around the summertime royal rumble and then one around like winter just regular case race i think that's a good a good plan yeah because i do want because now that we've done it once too i think we can get some crazy guests yeah like if we plan it i think people saw that and they're like we want it yeah jay you were really uh huggy oh dude he tapped me up like 40 big time hugs he was proud of me yeah we. We hugged a thousand times. Tell me you're actually a good guy. He's proud of you.

Did you guys see PFT throw his fingers down Chase's throat? Oh, yeah. I asked him to do that. Yeah. I've never done that before. It worked. Do you have the video, TJ? I've never done that either. Look at him look up at you. Don't pull your head away. Oh, my God.

Oh, jeez. Oh god. This guy's being dude. Holy shit. I needed help in that moment. I knew that there was one guy who was gonna help me out in that situation. It was BFT, guy who was who was gonna help me out in that situation it was BFT

no questions asked what a fucking TJ thank you for everything you did all the sober people of course Zah I know it was a mess

for also good move not having the chairs in here yeah that was you guys questioned it and then it immediately it saved us

from being overexposed we didn't have the chairs in here we had no we think maybe next one we do royal rumble we should actually do a cage match we're gonna roll no but if we got a cage and we locked everyone in the cage yeah and you get when you get held out if there had been a cage yes people are doing a cage people i did i put a porta potty in the in the corner of the cage no and we'll just fucking go crazy we needed more wrestling moves too if i'm being completely honest i thought they're i was willing to flare chops i thought they're i was gonna try switch in music at some point someone said i should have lifted spider over my head i should

yeah we needed i would have taken the stunner at any point we needed a forum to do the wrestling moves a ring or a mat or something i think a cage it's just a cage i'm getting excited oh it's the royal rumble too we do fire around the cage should we do it we do it more people are three i wanted to do i know imagine if we did we just started up and it was like i want to say how the boys are sending the alcoholics oh man there was a comment that was like the logo reveal was titus and mook like pledging a frat yeah and we pledged a frat that we are still gonna get hazed yeah it's not over yeah at all yeah you were you were a big winner mook though you fucking yeah yeah did any of the girls

respond no uh no no they uh silence all week. It was a Wednesday night. Mook, you actually were probably, you and Titus were the ones that tipped. When I did, Brandon was there when I did the teams, and I was like, all right, Mook is going to have about, like, nine or ten. And I was like, Titus is about nine or ten. But both of you guys going that far over was what won it. Yeah. Because, like, everyone else was about what I thought, and you guys just crushed it.

Yeah, I was ahead of you at one point i don't yeah i i that's what i the only reason i won or whatever i had the most is just because i stayed around the longest and then it was i was in my head i was done i was like that's i i've i hit my limit i i had a bunch at the start great made a great first impression now i'll fade to the back and just kind of sip on beers but then by being the last guy there and having a huddle of people around me just screaming at me you have to drink i was like i guess i just got to keep going yeah yeah i had 15 and i couldn't form sent crazy you 21 and a half did you know you had that in you i can drink beer yeah i didn't i didn't think i didn't think i could do 21 and a half no but i i can like because uh they were saying before you got in your car, you can't drink beer, really.

Like, you get full on it or something? Yeah, I might have said the floor drank a lot of your beer. Oh, yeah. That one time I saw you just. I can't. I know. But. I feel bad.

It inspired me. You know, I have a surgery in August. What? At the Bastion Voice Institute here in Chicago. What? So what I have is a disorder it's called r-c pd i think okay it's for people who they can't burp they can't uh yeah a botox shot in my esophagus no shit yeah holy fuck they said yeah

now i'm ready to drink holy shit yeah because i never like when we do the case race after that. We have to celebrate. Now I'm ready to drink. Holy shit. Yeah, because I never, like when we do the case race, I know you feel bad that you can't drink beer, and I always feel bad that you feel bad. So, like, when you dumped the beer, I was like, you know, I called it out, but I was like, I don't really care. But now you're going to be able to drink beer. Yeah.

I also drank lots of liquor. You drank way too much liquor before. Yeah, I didn't realize that. And watching it back, i was mad at myself for how much i was like mad at my teammates for not drinking more and then i realized you guys were all fucked up like before i walked out yeah like hank especially like there were a handful of times where i was like hey drink more and hanks was like i can't i'm like you've had five beers hank Hank. Now I realize Hank was fucked up before the show. One of my favorite parts was KB cooking Mauro. Oh, yeah.

I don't remember that. Mauro was just giving me and Titus deep tissue massages. Yeah, Mauro's a handsy drunk. That was weird. His sleight of hand, I thought he was rubbing my back. He was jerking me off. Yeah. I had no idea.

He was... I forgot he was here. he was an interesting guy interesting cat try to pull off the greatest trick ever pulled afterwards yeah yeah he did yeah sure did shout out connor griffin for well i'll just tell the story because it was funny well it's not funny but it was funny moro was like i'm gonna just hang out here for a few hours and then drive home. And I was like, no, you're not. So we took his keys from him. And Jacob, shout out Jacob, the intern, drove him home to Rogers Park. But the funniest part about it was Mauro was like, yeah, I'm going to sleep it off and I'll drive home.

And Steven just kept on shouting him, you signed a waiver. You signed a waiver. Like that meant anything. Like if he got in a car and killed someone, we'd be like, well, we're good. He signed a waiver. You signed a waiver. That meant anything. If he got in a car and killed someone, we'd be like, well, we're good. He signed a waiver. I don't remember that. We were pretty diligent with the waivers.

Dude, you signed a waiver. We got his keys. Yeah, we got his keys. He got home safe. I think he had a 6 a.m. flight. That was why he was stressed. Oh, morel? Oh, my God. He was like, I can't leave my car here. I think he had a 6am flight that was why he was stressed oh Moro? he was like I can't leave my car here and I was like alright we'll have someone drive your car back to Rogers Park

where was he going? Magic Camp? yeah I don't know he was something else but all in all thank you everyone who watched thank you everyone who subscribed I really do think like overall that was our best one in terms of universal praise.

It seems like it. It's already passed Case Race 5 in views. I love that. Yeah, I think the code is to prevent anybody from fucking up, you just have limited mics and a big group. And too many people. Yeah, too many people. My mom called me this morning to tell me that she was proud of me.

Wow. This is the first time she's ever said that, I bet. First time. Yeah. And then my dad called me and he goes, was this good? I didn't understand. So it was like a very mixed review. Yeah.

Parents. Yeah, I haven't talked to my parents. Yeah. I think they haven't said a word to me since Friday. I remember, or I didn't remember, but now that I'm thinking of watching it yesterday, I said a rat trap. Yeah. Like an hour into the show. Yeah. Big ass one.

It's still set. There it is. All the chaos. That'll break the hand, right? Oh yeah. Remember we did the pen? Oh yeah. Shattered the pen. Oh, that was fucked up. We should unset that.

Yeah, we should. Unset it. That's how you say it? Yeah. Look, Brandon's got the mousetrap in the logo. Yeah. And a cool shirt. Pass on the logo.

What? You want to holler about it? Brandon. I'm not going to holler about it. You ain't going to hoot. You can holler a little. I'm not going to holler. I'm not going to holler.

Holler a little. No. You don't like the logo. I think the graphic designer was trying to hoot. You can holler a little. I'm not going to holler. I'm not going to holler. Holler a little. No. You don't like the logo. I think the graphic designer was trying to be cute. Mincy doesn't do a goddamn thing around here. I shouldn't be wearing a fucking Mincy shirt and our logo. That's a Yak logo. According to him, he's a member of the Yak.

No, he's not. We have to make rules that he's not allowed to be on the show. I think that's stupid to put me in a Mincy shirt on a logo. Am I wearing a shirt that's the artist's depiction of the pressing of Giles Corey? Now that's a good shirt. Is that what that is? That's a dance. We should sell that shirt.

Oh, my God. We should sell that shirt. Grill Dad for Che is great. Dan, you're wearing a black T-shirt. When the hell do you ever wear a black T-shirt? I never wear black T-shirts. That's what I'm saying. It it's fiction this whole thing is fiction and why does kate look so goddamn good in the logo yeah uh why is jeff d lowe smack dab in the middle oh shit yeah it does look like him brandon sorry for your trivia loss oh nick you nailed did you know that no i wouldn't i would i

don't want the wrath of d low yeah you nailed it yeah shock tart yeah i did yeah i just i think i just know his brain when we predicted it i uh i wasn't even mad like they just didn't miss a question we just got beat yeah wasn't anything to get mad about it just happens and now i'll just the top five teams five down get reset yeah what's – Yeah, top four teams. Is that top four teams standings or top four teams? Top four, final four teams are safe. Everybody else is drafted. So, Miche and Rohn are done?

You're broken up. Mikhail and Frank? Why – Wait, that seems stupid. That's the opposite. We should do the opposite almost. Because ZD's going to be – You guys are just going to be better than everyone.

Yeah, wait. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. I don't know. It wasn't my decision. It should be all or nothing. It wasn't my decision. It's just going to be the same Final Four again.

No, there could be some combinations. No, because if you draft, yeah, you're going to make the 5 through 8 teams weaker. They're all going to be, like, equal. Right. Those teams on the cusp are going to get worse. Well, that's assuming that the current combinations are the best possible. But if you do a draft, you would

assume, if you do a real draft, the best players are going to... There could be a world where... It's going to make 5 through 12 have one really good player, one middle of the road, and one bad player. Against the top four teams that have three good players.

Yeah, that makes no sense. If it's a draft, yeah. I think you should do the opposite like it's against the top four teams against three good players yeah that makes no sense it makes if it's a draft yeah i think you should do the opposite you should take the top teams and blow them up correct to bring them back to the field correct so it's more unpredictable it should just be a draft of every team it should be everyone's a free agent they didn't ask me they didn't ask me either yeah that makes no sense i didn't do it because it just think about it in a sports perspective. If you're like the... We're going to let the Washington Wizards and Charlotte Hornets blow up their teams and draft amongst the pool of themselves.

Yeah, but... Try to beat the Celtics. The Celtics. The Celtics were like... All right, well... Yeah. Good luck. Yeah, we're going to even out the really bad teams

to make them even worse. Yeah. Look at Jack. Look at Jack. Look at Max. Max and Jack. Max and Jack. Hey, boys. The pair.

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i i like life is not everything just is not the same i just want to go back to get went to the sphere. I, like, life is not, everything just is not the same. I just want to go back to the sphere. I'm going to go back to the sphere. I'm going to do whatever I can. Is it truly like, you can't tell, it's not like going to see an IMAX movie, right? No. No. No, no, no, no.

No. Buddy. No, no, no. Buddy. So it's full- Excuse you. It's full-blown immersive. You feel like you're in the-

Everything. In the visuals. Everything. It is. You feel like you're in the visuals. Everything. It is. And these pictures suck. These pictures suck. No, I saw some videos that did it justice. Like, it looked...

I can't explain just how incredible. Is it disorienting? It is at first. It was at first, yeah. I didn't want to stand up at first because I was like, I'm going to fall down. Were you dabbling with psychedelics? Oh, yeah.

I ate a lot of mushrooms. I said to Titus after the Friday and Saturday and first night at set break, I was like, I don't know if it's the sphere or the shrooms. And then I walked out to take a piss. And I was like, it's both. It's both. I was fucking on the move. Titus, did you do drugs?

No, no, no, no. I had some chocolate. He had a sweet tooth. I had a sweet tooth. Some chocolate. Some chocolate. What? No, it's good on a sugar rush.

I'll tell you. A little bit of a sugar rush for sure. You were an asshole. Any stoolies that asked for a picture at the sphere got like the greatest selfie ever because my face physically couldn't stop smiling yeah but is that everyone or like 50 of the people what do you mean on psychedelics on drugs hi i mean there was probably i mean it is a grateful dead show so but is that like everyone or like there's a lot of people who aren't So you gotta like you know Adapt

Is everybody all in together Did someone kill your buzz Is it like a crazy is like everyone high Or is there a lot of people who aren't A lot of people I would say most people Were you standing up were you doing like shoulder Movements or hands in the air No we sat we got a great hook up

We sat the other thing we learned we we got a great hookup we sat the other thing we learned this weekend is i'm not a guy who likes to do like to use my connections or like the minor celebrity i have for like favors because i always just hate owing something to someone but this weekend i was like you know what i'm gonna just go all out and it was like, you know what? I'm going to just go all out. And it was like we got incredible setup at the show. We had seats and floor passes. We got incredible dinners. We had a cabana all day Saturday. God damn.

Yeah. You guys earned it after working real hard having double-digit beers. I might have to be a connections guy now because it was like, yeah, it's worth it. We basically had the perfect 40 hours. Yeah, and in fact, I'd like to publicly announce that I am going to be a clout chaser now. So if anybody has any clout. Yeah, it was like, why don't I do this? I'm going after it now.

I'm going all after the. Saturday after Friday night, my head was empty. And then we just had a huge cabana that was comped. And I was like, what? Yeah, that's. I need to maybe do that more often I gotta go back to the sphere what else would you like to see there?

just dead and company Top Gun Maverick probably anything would be cool what about MMA? aren't they doing a UFC? that might not be cool I don't think there could be anything not cool is there a chance that it's too cool visually to really uh could some people have a bad experience

at a concert or show do you think maybe you do too many drugs yeah yeah maybe out but i don't know even i will say like like we were we were on the front row of like the upper deck um and when the show started there's like a there's like a motion there's like a thing where they're like they're like flying up above the earth or whatever and it felt very real to me and uh i was scared to stand up because i thought i was gonna like fall over the front of the balcony yeah so there is it took me like the whole first set of the first night it took me to get adjusted yeah so i could see a world where like people have problems motion sickness and stuff are a little yeah easy at first i had a moment where they were

it was like they were it was like a um on the water it was like a drone on the water and then it suddenly went underwater and i like did like a jump i was like holy fuck brandon you went to a show i did how was it how's the play uh it the best. It was the best SmackDown maybe of all time. Really? Yeah. To the theater? It was unbelievable. I had front row seats to SmackDown.

Yeah. And it was fantastic. Was that at Second City? No, it was at Allstate Arena. Yeah. It was Allstate Arena. And traffic was bad getting out of there. But otherwise, it was great.

Fantastic. Any wrestlers recognize you? Yeah. There's, there's, there's, there's, but otherwise it was great. Fantastic. Any wrestlers recognize you? Yeah, there I am right now. That's him looking the other way. Did CM Punk recognize you? CM Punk did not recognize me, but Montez did. I'm so happy, by the way. The Miz did.

Cody Rhodes did. I almost sent CM Punk Titus' costume and I stopped myself, thank God. Yeah. Because if he was like, what's the occasion? I was like, 21 years. 21 years. Sober. MVP of the case race.

He held it down for you, man. Yeah. He represented you well. Yeah, I had a great time. It was awesome. That's great. One of the best shows I've ever been to. Did they have a massive screen there too?

No, that's the thing. They didn't have a big screen at all. It's just they didn't have like a – it wasn't – well, first of all, the building isn't spherical. And secondly – Oh. Ew. I would never go in there.

There was no big – Ew. Ew. Boys only go in orbs. Ew. It was just a regular, what, rectangle? There were no drugs at all. No.

Did you at least have John Mayer guitar solos? No, no, there was no drugs. I didn't see John Mayer at all. Fuck, dude. I should say I'm close personal friends with John Mayer now. Wait, did you talk to him? He slid into my DMs on Friday night, and then I met up with him before the show on Saturday.

What? The coolest thing ever. But it was a big group of people that met with him? No. No, it's one of the weird things about John Mayer. I didn't realize this until Saturday. This is weird. I don't know if all artists are this way or if it's just a John Mayer thing.

He only has two chairs in his green room. That's true. He only has two chairs, one for him and then one guest. That's crazy. That's true. That's a small setting, though. It's a small. That's true. No, I'm kidding. That's true. That's true. That's a small setting, though. It's a small. It's true.

No, I'm kidding. It's true. I'm kidding. Yeah, I had to play it right, but yeah. He slid in my DMs. Were you nervous? I was very nervous. He slid in my DMs on Friday night after the show.

What did he say? He was like big cat in the house, and then we got to talking, and he was like, yeah, come hang out with me for like 20 minutes before the show on Saturday. I was like, yeah. That's awesome. Great. So I went in his green room. It was just me and him. Did you embarrass yourself at all? come hang out with me for like 20 minutes before the show on saturday i was like yeah that's awesome great so i went in his green room was just me and him did you embarrass yourself at all like or anything i don't think so okay no picture which i thought was correct yes yeah wait did you take the drugs at this point i had so i was getting a little nervous uh because i ate my

mushrooms i was gonna meet they were like get to the show at 6 30 and and his assistant will come because I ate my mushrooms. I was going to meet. They were like, get to the show at 6.30, and his assistant will come and grab you. So I ate my mushrooms at 6, and the assistant didn't come grab me until like 6.50. Oh, you're cutting the clock. I was like, the clock was ticking. Like, can I keep it together?

I was able to keep it together. But, like, what did those dudes do? Did they ever just turn around and gawk? Like, oh, yeah. What do you mean? The people on stage. Did they get to? Oh, looking up?

Yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, I don't know. I think they're used to it. They don't do this fair a lot, right? Well, I mean, they've been doing it. That was their probably 10th or 15th show. Oh, okay. But yeah, John Mayer is certified the coolest dude ever. Yeah.

Was he getting his hair done when he walked in? No, he was just hanging. He was sitting on a couch. No hat. He had an insane green room. He was like, sit. And then we just talked like friends. You talk sports?

What did you talk about? Everything. But you didn't say anything like, hey, go shred out there. He did tell me. Good luck, pal. What do you do? He did tell me that he was feeling under the weather. And he was like

Whenever I do I feel a little sick I play the best guitar Of my life Wow And he went and played The best guitar of his life Like it was that good

I would fuck up That situation I'd say something Probably I'd say something gay Oh for sure Did you say anything gay? No

I'd probably like be like Rock on man Or like do something I got I got a report back from a mutual friend of ours Adam? No And this was This is pretty cool

He said John Mayer said that I was very cool and spiritually generous And fun Whoa That's high praise That might have been the mushroom that might be the best the spiritually generous you were like giving him like spirit challenge i guess so i did thank him profusely for like keeping my favorite band the music alive i was like i don't i was like i know that you know like you're incredible but like I just want to genuinely thank you for what you've done.

Were people against it when he first joined? Oh, yes. Big time. There were people against it as of a year ago. Yeah. And it's like he's one of, if not the best guitarist ever. And it's just what he does with the music is insane. So I heartfelt was like what you've done to this music

and kept it alive for a whole new generation who are like too young to have seen jerry is like insane and i just want to thank you i think he i think that might be my spiritual generosity wow coming out in the mushroom case race seven's gonna be i've always said you're spiritually generous too john and i both agree on that spiritually generous and fun what a compliment so yeah i think i nailed it i think i nailed john mayer case race he it. John Mayer, case race. Let's have him in. He's going to be our friend going forward. Sounds like

he's your friend. Yeah. But he could be all of our friends. Why not? You're going to share? Sure. I also think he did, now that I'm replaying it, he did like that I basically admitted my wife wanted to fuck him. I bet he loved that. That's very spiritually generous.

That is generous. That's so generous. I had a good, like, because I was saying, I was like, my wife really likes your watch, and he's like, oh, thank you. Like, you know, he's a big watch collector. And I was like, now that I said that out loud, John, I think that was just her first step of getting comfortable telling me that she wants to fuck you. And he was like, yeah.

Probably. Probably. But yeah. that she wants to fuck you and he was like yeah probably probably but yeah the uh and then the only bad part was uh we did sit next to one of the most annoying human beings of all time on saturday titus no oh um just a random dude yeah it was actually i felt a little bad because i so i got there first uh and i was sitting in the seat and this guy sat next to me and he just started talking so much. And I in like the middle of like the shrooms kicking in. And he even said the line of if I talk too much, just tell me. So he knows.

Yes. He knows. He also is one of those guys like within three minutes he had told me his whole life story. And look, I you know,, divorce is a sad thing. But when he told me he had two kids and he was divorced, I was like, that makes perfect sense. Because I can't be around you. He was there alone.

He was there alone. When someone says they're divorced and you can immediately be like, I understand and take the other side. I get it. That's what happened. No. There's no chance he's sitting in his office right now got everybody crowded around hey they might talk about yeah he didn't know

who i was and then he did the thing uh which is the most annoying thing in in a concert setting i have no problem with people singing along that's it's a concert you sing along he was not singing along he was saying the lyrics before they say the lyrics. It's the most annoying dude in the world. What? So worse. How does that even work? He would just say, like, right before they would say a lyric, he would just turn around and be like, and then say the lyric, and then they would sing it.

Dude, we got it. We all know the songs. That's horrific. Did you tell him at one point to stop? When I told him to stop, this is true, this happened. He turned to me during a John Mayer guitar solo, where I'm just fucking vibing with the music and the whole thing. He turned to me, and I shit you not, he goes, do you watch Game of Thrones?

So it's kind of great. And I just said, you got to stop, dude. I'm watching this right now. I said something like that. And then he stopped talking to me the rest of the night. But then he just found a guy behind him behind him yeah who i felt bad for that guy yeah no you can't in that situation but you're happy that he's out of your hand well he also mentioned so i was there first sitting next to him and uh titus his girlfriend and my friend

showed up and uh i got up and went to the other end. Smart. And then at set break, he was like, you left me. And I was like, yeah. Yes, I did. Not the first time he's been left, yeah. A rogue divorced man might be the worst. He was there alone. Yeah, he was there alone. Going to a concert alone, that's a freshly divorced move, I think.

Yeah, and he said he had seen Morgan Wallen the night before in Minnesota, and I was like, whoa. He lived life. That's not in the night before in Minnesota, and I was like, whoa. He lives a lot. That's not part of the dream. Wait, is this mints? I have bad news for you, KB. So we went. It was me, my wife, a couple of friends of ours,

and then Titus' girlfriend for the whole weekend. My wife and her friend came on Friday night, had a great time, then saturday they went to shinlam oh oh my god what could have been and they said it sucked what it's not that's great news for yeah because i said it's on there said he had no aura no aura all he has is aura no hands it they said he had no personality they said the there was a mentalist opener that was way better no they probably went to like one of the they probably went to the wrong guy. He was doing mouse stuff. Mouth stuff?

Mouse or mouth? Mouth. Yeah, that's what that shit was. I thought it hurt my mouth. It hurts out of his mouth and smoke. Yeah. So I apologize. That's good for me.

I missed that. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, good weekend. Sphere. I just want to go back. I can't recommend enough. I feel bad living the rest of my life.

Every conversation I have, I'm going to be looking at the person and be like, I wish you were the sphere. It does feel like now I'm categorizing people as like they've been to the sphere. Yeah, right. I'm just going to ask people when I meet them, have you been to the sphere? And if they say no, I'm like, eh.

Titus, I hate it when you have cool experience. You guys should all go. I wouldn't go for something that in Tumpery Lights or Odessa, but I don't know about Grateful Dead. I don't know what I would recommend more than the Sphere. I wouldn't recommend vaginal sex to a straight man more than the Sphere. Nope. Oh my God. Then you guys got to get a VR set.

It's not the sphere. I was crying at one point. But you can microdose the sphere with the VR. I was like crying. You cried. From the music, from the visuals, from the mushroom, from everything. I had tears in my eyes. If someone was like, heaven is this infinitely, would you be like, yeah.

Yeah, I'd kill myself right now. I'd be dead. No question. I'm ready. Yeah. So like when you're at Third Eye Blind this week, are you going to be like,

wait, this is the sky. Yeah, I'm going to try, I'm going to find you. Now you're fucked for life. You can never go to a regular concert. I feel bad for you.

Nick, I'm going to stand next to you on Friday and tell you how different this, how this is so much worse than the sphere. So wait, this isn't going to change? It's only getting darker? So now, you're never going to stand next to you on Friday and tell you how different this, how this is so much worse than the sphere. So wait, this isn't going to change?

It's only getting darker? So now you're never going to be able to see like them at an amphitheater or an arena? It just will be, I'll just have to up the dosage of drugs. Yeah. That's the only way I can do it. This was a gateway. You're fucked. Dude, it's, and credit to james dolan who's like

the biggest fail son of all time he did one thing right yeah that's his yeah yeah he made that i was skeptical i won't lie i was i was like i don't i don't get it i don't get it like it's just a screen now i get it did you two try to reach out to dana i almost we talked about we had a conversation we talked about it. We had a conversation. I almost – we talked about the tunnel chaos. We got in touch. Yeah. Yeah. There was that conversation quickly that, like, what if we just texted him?

Just to see. See if he was around. Hey, Dana, can we have free money? Yeah, guys, come over. That's the money you can give us? But, yeah, I'm going to go back. I have to go back. I have to figure out when I can go. I do feel like the lost cast or whatever. Yeah. I've got gonna go back I have to go back I have to figure out when I can go

I do feel like the lost cast or whatever yeah gotta go back I have to get off the sphere we'll never we have to go back so like what is gonna be playing when the UFC fights are going on I don't know I had that

question too and I don't we'll find out though cause you're optimistic that like anything in there would be awesome I think I don't know if I'm fully there yet I don't know. I had that question, too. And I don't. We'll find out, though. You're optimistic that anything in there would be awesome. I don't know if I'm fully there yet. I don't know about sports. NHL draft is this week, so we'll see how they do it. Yeah. NHL draft's going to be interesting. Planet Earth would rock.

Planet Earth would be fucking awesome. But, like, a Morgan Wallen concert. Like, what's he going to? Yeah, someone was telling Chuck. Put the N-word up. A real big. You two didn't use, like, the full sphere, so I guess it could... Like, they didn't do full visuals the whole time.

Yeah. Whereas the Dead did... It was full visuals the entire time. Like, the whole... Like, you look up, and it's, like, the edge of the Earth. Yeah, it feels like... It looks like it's raining on you. They also...

I didn't realize until we were there that the chairs vibrate and shit like that it's 4d yeah they're there it's just really nothing that will ever come believe would you recommend it as like a treatment for depression yes let's get one for the office i'm gonna i'm gonna need it's going to be my treatment for depression who's coming to the Sphere the rest of the year? I think the Eagles are in the fall And the Dead have a bunch of more shows Eagles, Draft, Dead

I think the Dead will do it again too They have to Because they're so perfect for that Did they sell it out? How many does it hold? 18 to 20? Oh, okay. It's huge.

You look back and you realize, like, holy fuck. They didn't figure out the bathrooms. That's the only thing. Bad bathrooms. It's a big thing. Bad bathrooms. Big thing. Not small.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of people. And they sold out every show. I saw something They made like The first like two weeks They made like 10 million bucks or something Jesus Christ

We should do a case race live Can you imagine 18,000 people going nuts Barstool barstool No fucking way Shout out barstool barstool I think he drank. No fucking way. Shout out Barstool, Barstool. Big shout out. I think he drank more beers than he said.

Oh, yes. But yeah, he's an attorney. He's toeing a line. Yeah. He came here, got drunk, did his thing. I think he was fighting his costume, too. Yeah. He was fighting his costume.

He does have like, what a cool thing for him that he just got to be in a case race. Yeah. A Wednesday case race. Yeah. I kind of liked the Wednesday just because it didn't ruin the whole weekend. Well, the speed of the case race, really. We started at 8.05. We were done at 11.05.

It was a very compact. Shortest case race. I feel like it's a good length for him, 8.05. We were done at 11.05. It was a very compact. Shortest case. I feel like it's a good length for him, though. Yeah. Like, I was home, I think, at 11.50. You just saw so much crazy shit. I saw some shit, man. TJ, now that we're not hyping it up to get everybody to watch it as much,

was it, in fact, the drunkest? We didn't hype it up, though. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know TJ was just saying, like, the day after day after he was just like that was the drunkest case you've ever done far and away a lot a lot of the case races generally go like everybody gets really drunk and then everybody sits in the room in their chairs for an extra hour and a half or two hours and like yaks and talks and like brings up videos and stuff this was just like you guys were fighting each other and throwing shit and spilling out onto the court,

which we hadn't done one here yet, so we didn't know how that was going to go. It was chaos. Could you imagine if we did 10 minutes like we originally planned? Oh, yeah. You would have been in here for... Titus would have been dead.

Yeah, three hours. From just the first 10 minutes talking to Che probably. Usually when they end. That was my favorite five minutes of yes just sitting there that's why you drank so much that is no i was very the whole scene i was very uncomfortable i just looked down and i got like fake tattoos on me it's me and che he's looking like hulk hogan on juneteenth yeah uh which is the worst day to look like hulk hogan yeah uh the lights are bright i'm like there's a there's obviously a pressure to drink beer and I was just like I don't know what else to do

but just start throwing them back and as soon as Kyle's ass touches the leather Che's like you know Kurt Angle was molested yeah what the fuck fun fact I actually didn't it was Jake the Snake he said it later yeah he's like Jake the Snake fun fact

got molested by his parents I didn't say fun fact so you were a star that video of him was anybody in trouble when they got home che i know i mean loud i think donnie why did you see the text i didn't see the texts what did you get donnie's twitter uh tony came back soaking wet. Yeah. I got home and took a shower and it was very loud. Hank. There's bald Hank. How you feeling?

Yeah. And you come home half naked in some dumbass cape. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah. Oh, that's an angry text, too. You're angry. Yeah. Dumbass cape. That is embarrassing.

That also feels like the beginning of the text was way worse. Hank looks good. He does. Hank, we were talking about the case race. It's quite something. Yeah, I mean, I was happy I had the parade so I didn't have to watch anything or relive any of the anxiety. But everyone won. Yeah, it was great.

Darth Maul and Darth Maul. I was yelling at you more than everyone won. Yeah, it was great. Darth Maul. I was yelling at you more than I realized. Yeah, no, I felt. And then now I realize you were probably drinking a lot before the K-Trace. I had a couple beers before K-Trace. That was a mistake. I just don't. I don't have.

We got some dogs in this room. Do you have any comment? I'm not one of them. Do you have any comment about saying Kate was looking right? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Just hanging out with the guys. The one chick. I think someone else said something like Kate looks ridiculous.

I was like, Kate's looking right. But out of context. Oh, man. something like like kate looks ridiculous kate's looking right but the out of context it's quite can't get quite a whirlwind oh man i'm surprised this rug is is dude they intact everyone cleaned it someone's got to make the the compilation of uh of kb just dumping doing what oh that was hot on camera yeah he's getting surgery to fix his uh inability to burp that's good yeah yeah it's a real ailment yeah hank started a bench clearing uh brawl yeah he threw that thing one lightsaber yeah underrated moment was the fact that you had a darth maul mask on took it off. You did the sting thing. Yeah. Took it off and had the paint.

I don't know if that was really highlighted. I texted him. I said, what wrestler do you want to dress as? And he said, Darth Maul. I'm a one-trick pony. Brandon, sorry. Brandon was mad that you weren't a wrestler. Really?

Walked out. He's like, no, what's he doing? Well, I like the other. It was Darth Maul, Pat Summitt, whatever Donnie was. Donnie was, yeah. He was Ric Flair hippo. But he wasn't Ric Flair until the last second. We were in the gambling cave right before we started.

He's like, wait, is everyone a wrestler? He's like, should I put on a Ric Flair cape? I was like, yeah, do it. Brandon got knocked over by a cup. I did. That's selling. Yeah. That's selling.

When's the next one? We're saying that Royal Rumble's going to be. Oh, my God. Kyle. That was a great bump. Kyle, you called Dana's penis a G.I. Joe helmet. Hot call on the kettle black. She knocked over Brandon.

Oh, man. I don't remember any of this. Brandon, how miserable in general were you being stoned? Oh, that's the worst. I would hate to do that. So pretty miserable, but about, I don't know, a couple hours in, I started going TJ and saying, let's speed the eliminations up a little bit. Let's get them out of there.

Hank, I think Royal Rumble is going to be an annual thing. And then we'll do a regular case race maybe in the winter. And we were saying that maybe next Royal Rumble is hell in the cell. I'm not arresting you. We build a cage on the course. Can I just...

I will not be mankind. One more time. The worst idea possible. We lock the cage when you come in, and so you can't get out until you're eliminated. That basketball court was a godsend that people could flow out into that, and we could get them out of the studio. And now, and now, they can't. Also, someone would definitely jump off.

Yeah. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, if we did Hell in a Cell, and it was, we got everyone in and then it was like every 10 minutes you have to finish a beer until like if you can't finish the beer you're out yeah i like that it's just one person remains i do like that'd be pretty fucking awesome hell yeah no yeah it would i woke up uh i guess i'll tell the story it's disgusting oh i woke up on my couch for some reason like oh hell yeah really another w for mood on woke up on my couch hadn't showered or taken any of my makeup off so like i had to like run all my like couch cushion whatever covers in the wash

and that was Thursday then I left uh Thursday night came back Saturday night and I'm like you know cleaning up my apartment last night and on one of the tables next to like my couch it was like wet and I was like what the fuck and I grab a paper towel start wiping it off paper towels yellow look on the couch, there's a stain and then I It's like vaguely it hit me that I for whatever reason I was on my couch. I just woke up and Just like put my knees on the edge of the couch Turned around and just like this and it sat there for three days i didn't discover it till sunday barbarians and it's my couch my my rug is stained

yeah because i was gone like i woke up thursday came to the office, and then I, you know, I was cleaning up my apartment on Sunday and was like, why is this wet? And then I, like, wiped it up. I was like, oh, no. I was like, how would piss get here? I was like, how would piss get here? You pissed here. I was like, yeah, fuck.

I was wondering why I slept on the couch. But yeah, then it hit me. I was like, yeah, I definitely just stood up. Like, I was on the Titanic and just, like, pissed off my couch. Like the Titanic. Yeah. That's what they did on the couch but yeah then i then i then it hit me i was like yeah i definitely just stood up like i was on the titanic and just like pissed off my couch yeah that's what they did that's what they did on the titanic oh great time yeah thanks for having me yes sorry for being a pussy no you're not a pussy and we're following it up with some i was praying i was i that was i had anxiety just being like i was such a pussy i was praying to get eliminated barcel barcel almost tried to fight me too.

What? When the wheel was going, I was like, I think we want Barso Barso out of here. He was like, fuck you. Fuck you. What the fuck? It was kind of like teammates firing each other up. I was like, then let's go. But he was very heated.

The only reason I kept singling you out is because every time I'd look up, I just looked at the scoreboard and you were on the lower end. Well, i was the last person in yeah and you kept saying that and i was like we've been in for like two hours drink some beers and you're like but that's all right yeah all right sorry we won thanks hank hank's a member of joe mazilla's family now oh yeah yeah he's just living the best life. Summer Hank. Incredible. By the way, oh wait, do the NASCAR read and then... Clemmer's in Indiana right now trying to get a purple hat. He's still like...

What has he got? You're in the Midwest? He hasn't gotten any other states. I went to Stevie Nicks' Billy Joel with him and he was on the prowl the entire time. Wait, he was there? Yeah. He didn't find one. No. How was it's pretty good was there like a big it was cool being on the 50 yard line of soldier field yeah there is a big sphere above that it's the i mean the sky is the sky counts no

they talk about the real sky yeah the actual okay oh this is Spotted Clemmer looking for a purple ad. Hands on his hips. He's grinding. He's like staring like, is that purple? You went with him? No. God, no. He happened to be there.

Okay, good. He told me this morning he ran into you there. Yeah, yeah. Okay. NASCAR Salutes concludes this weekend at Nashville. The entire racing community rallies around NASCAR Salutes concludes this weekend at Nashville. The entire racing community rallies around NASCAR Salutes to show appreciation and gratitude to veterans and the active, brave men and women who fight to protect our country.

NASCAR will be hosting troops from Fort Campbell at the race. Tune in on June 30th at 3.30 p.m. Eastern on NBC. Don't miss NASCAR and Music City. So tune in Sunday, June 30th. That's this Sunday, 2.30 3 30 eastern on nbc to watch the stars of nascar and nashville super speedway um i just got an update this is bad uh liam said that he left indiana no with no hat and has gone to michigan to try and change his luck oh how long did he give it in indiana i don't know i saw one clip uh

he posted one clip that was pretty good that's tj are we holding up the the mincey production no no no i just saw him no scowling at us we're fine we're fine we're fine it's a bad look that indiana i was worried about that. I had heard some rumors Look at this falling off on the rest of the game, but is that a purple hat by chance? Yeah He's denial No We're on a run a search to find a purple hat in every state and bite off someone's head Yeah, buy it off. You wouldn't know anyone around you with a purple hat, would you?

That's a good question. Really? I saw the most purple hat on my Uber in. Look at him. He does like a... He's really... I won't steal it, I promise. It's kind of blue. I think you're right in the sun.

Man, split his hat back to him. So we need to discuss the hat that's sitting to you or left. Clemmer bought that hat, did he not? Bought it? He bought it at the dozen. Yeah, it doesn't count. It doesn't count. It's the same rules as KissCoin.

Same rules as KissCoin. I explained it to him this morning when I saw him. He understands. He was a little upset, but he understood. Okay. Because guys will, if you do it at a barstool event, people will try to bring purple hats. It's a lot of people's dream to get the hat bought from Futter.

Yeah. So he bought that hat for no reason? Yes, this one doesn't count. It's a good hat. We could have an ineligible pile. Yeah, L's. Yeah, we got the map done. Yeah, shout out Jacob. Where did the New York purple hat go? Yeah, L's. Yeah, we got the map done. Yeah, shout out Jacob.

Oh, wow. Where did the New York purple hat go? Yeah, the New York hat needs to be back up there. What's he doing with these? There's a dot in Iowa. There's a dot in Florida. It's not to scale, by the way. Why are there two dots in Iowa?

There's an arrow. We got Chicago. So we got an arrow towards Chicago. I think that's Gainesville. Yeah. Thank God that arrow's there so we know where we're at. What's in the middle of Iowa? Iowa.

Is that Ames? Could be Des Moines. Could be Des Moines. That would be Des Moines. That's a good job, though. It looks awesome on the wall. You did a good job. Yeah, I didn't know how much we needed a map, but I like that we have it.

It feels good to have a map. It's great to have a map. What states are the worst? We can do games with it. I would say what states are the worst? Colorado's got an unnecessary slant to it. Clemmer, just send me a hat for appeal. Oh, Delaware looks terrible.

Oh, I think that counts. That's a hat? I think if he gets that one, it counts. It doesn't have to be a baseball hat. That's purple, though. That's not 51. Wait, so is the purple hat then the bill color shouldn't matter? Is it just purple what's on that?

Yeah. I think that's a purple hat. That's a purple hat. Yeah, I'm calling that purple. If you had that in your house and you forgot it, you're like, hey, can you grab? You wouldn't say, hey, can you grab my, you're like, hey, can you grab? You wouldn't say, hey, can you grab my black hat? You'd say, can you grab my purple hat?

Yeah, but you're not going to get a woman's sun hat off her when she's at the beach. Well, see. He's at the beach. He's got a budget. Hey, bitch. That's a purple hat. Yeah, that's a purple hat. Go get that, Clemmer.

We called the first one not purple. I want to see that. But that was the opposite. That was a black hat with a purple bill. Okay. This is a purple hat with a black bill. That's, yeah. That's purple.

Clemmer is allowed to snatch if he wants to. Oh, he can snatch. He can snatch and run away. Absolutely can snatch. It's allowed. Would help his budget. Yeah. I want his last couple to have to be stolen.

Yeah. Yeah. I want him to be all snatched. I kind of want him to steal them all. Yeah, he keeps pockets all the money. The purple hat robber. I love it. Yeah, he's got to get that hat.

It's a really good map. I'm trying to pick it apart, but it's a really good map. Delaware's the worst. I know everything gets tied on the East Coast, but it's still pretty good. Fuck the next five minutes. Think of a city. Got it. Tell me how warm I am.

Okay. Memphis. Got it. Tell me how warm I am. Okay. Memphis. Warm-ish. Okay. You know what? I'm going to say hot. Hot? Yeah.

Nashville. Hotter. Damn. Chattanooga? Hotter still. Atlanta? The hottest you've been savannah marietta a little cooler than atlanta macon you're getting getting cooler going getting cooler uh athens augusta it was athens georgia nice thank you we got there pretty quick. Wow. Good work.

This is good. I'm going to learn my states. What? Kyle, not to be an asshole, can we do another one? I don't like the other pick to Southern City. Wait, why doesn't Kyle do it? Everyone can play. One, two, three. Mook, how many of those states can you identify?

I'm not going to. Kyle, I got one. I'm not going to dabble in it. Nick, you got one? Yes. Let me learn for a little bit. Oh, no got one. I'm not going to dabble in it. Nick, you got one? Yes. Let me learn for a little bit. Oh, no. Denver.

Warmish. Ooh, Casper, Wyoming. Colder. Is he just playing or is it everybody? Yeah, everyone can play. Salt Lake City. Warmest so far. Billings, Montana.

Cold. Er. Provo. Warmer. Oh, shit. Fucking. Jackson Hole. Colder.

Las Vegas. Hottest. Reno. Yeah. Yeah. Good one. Good work. Good one.

Mook, can you do the map? Actually, Mook, stand up in front of the states and get to the map. I Can you do the map? Actually, Mook, stand up in front of the states and get it. Do the map. I can't do the map. Or just say a city point to it. Yeah. I can't do it. No, we'll say a state and you point to it.

Say a state and you point to it. It's easy. Ready, Mook? California. This is easy, man. Stand up. Stand up. You can do it.

You got this, Mook. Do the weatherman stuff. This is bad. Stand up. Stump the Mook. We'll start easy. Why are your hands on your hips like that? This is a good tease for whatever is going on out there later, by the way.

Yes, I'm looking at it. California got it. Good job, Mook. New Mexico. Yep. Oh, my God. Where's his eyes going? No help. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Where's his eyes going? No help.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Jesus. Oh, no. He's all right. Oh, boy. All right. Sit back down.

Fuck. Give us one more. Give us one more. Nebraska. Oh, no. No. You don't even have a guess? Talk it out.

Yeah, think about it. So that's Iowa. Yeah. That should help a lot. Yeah. You got it. What state's underneath that? Kentucky.

What state's under Nebraska? You can work up. What's above Texas? My God. This isn't great. I don't know. You don't know what's above Texas? Is he being serious?

I hope not. Is this a... It's a bit. It's a bit. It's got to be. Yeah. Come on. You know what that is.

You got Nebraska. You know that's... You got Nebraska. You got Nebraska. That's impressive. Yeah It's got to be. Yeah. Come on. You know what? You got Nebraska. You know that's the area. You got Nebraska. That's impressive. Yeah, I got Nebraska. Picking a state that doesn't touch Mexico is bad for New Mexico. Yeah.

Where's New Mexico? It's right next to Arizona. In between Arizona. Where's Arizona? It's tic-tac-toe away from the Utah that you picked. In between Arizona and Texas. Okay. You got it? Yeah.

I'm going to learn. I don't know my geography. Yeah, that is true. I know the Northeast. A lot of people don't. You know the Northeast? Yeah. Uh-oh.

They all got... Connecticut. I don't want to do it. I can't do this. Connecticut. Give me a week. Connecticut. Give me a week.

You said you knew the Northeast. Yeah, like roughly. Also, Connecticut is labeled on that. It's labeled. Yeah, it's right there. Yeah. Give me a week. I'll be... the Northeast. Yeah, like roughly. Also, Connecticut is labeled on that. It's labeled. Yeah, it's right there. Give me a week. All right, that's fair. So next Monday you can name all 50.

At least half. Get all 50 in a week. Okay. Please. Because you have the no half right now. I don't like, when did you learn where the states are? Seventh grade? First grade?

Very, very – Yeah, first grade. Do you remember anything from first grade? Where the states are and how to tie my – I think it's A, B? Yeah, that's got to be it. But when did you learn it again? I just had it.

I haven't learned it again. You're right. I think there's a separation between people who like, just are interested in maps. Did you never learn Meemaw the Baker? No. That one will help you. I think it's Northeast people that don't know where states are because nobody I knew in New York, like Dana Beers didn't know where the states were.

I know Jersey, Philly. It's like, oh. Jersey, Philly. It's a, oh. Jersey, Philly. It's a city. Yeah. Meemaw the baker. Look, go right now. Philly's a city.

Go to Minnesota. Yeah, but Philly's PA. Is he Meemaw? I thought he was just a dude. No, it's Meemaw the baker. Oh. Which one? And then she's got a pan.

Is it chef's hat with a pan at KFC? Yeah, yeah. So Minnesota. Yeah. You go Meemaw. The top, above Iowa. Yep. Top. Yep. That's the chef's the chef's Minnesota then you go straight down iowa missouri arkansas jeans louisiana shoes that's her feet yeah meemaw the baker yeah that's and she's in in her uh she's holding a tennessee's a tin

yeah tennessee is a yeah Yeah. Of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah, and then above it is the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Okay. He doesn't give a yes. Meemaw Baker. He got the hat. I will learn. He got the hat?

He got the hat. Oh, my God. Okay? Yeah. This is good. Oh, this is great. This is haunted. He's walking like a creep.

Yo, yo. From every state in the country. And I'm willing to buy that hat off you right now. This is good. Oh, this is great. It's walking like a creep That's innovation. The trade. Yeah, when the barstool's forth, I need to get a hat. I did the wedding of the guy who founded Barstool. Dave Portnoy? Dave Portnoy? What? What a twist. Dave Katz? What?

You know that woman? No. Oh, she's doing it. I've never seen that woman in my life. She did your wedding. What does that woman? No. Oh, she's doing it. I've never seen that woman in my life. She did your wedding. What does that mean? That makes no sense. She, like, came up with it?

Yeah. And we have a, this is a very, I didn't realize. Oh. Yeah. That's perfect. Shit. That's full purple. Michigan's done.

Wow. Guess what? Incredible. Michigan, done. Wow. Guess what? Incredible. Michigan, off the board. That beach was great. Wow. And, Dan, you got to see an old friend. Never seen that woman in my life.

I know that you've got this budget that he can do it whenever he wants. I think he should just stop whatever he's doing outside of this and do this. That's what we're trying to do. I would love that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Until this is done, he should only do this.'s doing outside of this and do this. That's what we're trying to do. I would love that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Until this is done, he should only do this. I just want this to be his job. He's the purple hat guy, too.

He's the purple hat guy. So we're going to have three states down? No, he didn't get Indiana. But he got Illinois, right? He got Illinois, New York, and Michigan. Wait, where was he in Michigan? Right by the lake. He just went right around the lake.

He's got to go back. That looked real pleasant out there. You would think at a Billy Joel concert with tens of thousands of people there, there would have to be one. Not a lot of hatted people at Billy Joel, though. Yeah. Why? He's right.

Just, it's not a hat crowd. A lot of uptown girls. Okay. You said it confidently. I guess I'll agree. Yep. What's the most hatted concert? Oh, Garth Brooks.

Really? Yeah. But is it cowboy hats? A lot of beige. Not a lot of purple cowboy hats. Limp Bizkit. Mm-hmm. That's very hatted.

Yeah. Yeah. I could see that for sure. Yeah. Who would have a lot of purple? Who's like a flamboyant rapper Well Prince is dead Oz X

Yeah Not gay though Oh Got it We don't care if the hats are gay do we No No gay hats No yeah we do

Yeah so Clemmerhouse asked Are you gay Before I buy this Are you gay Yeah no gay hats is a good rule. We should thought of that off the gate. Oh, shit. I love this guy.

That's great. I want him everywhere. He's still here, right? He could get up to Wisconsin pretty easy, too. That's what I'm saying. He needs to try to get i'll text blutman to tell him and try indiana another shot yeah they got to go through indiana get back anyway isn't he on vacation with his wife he took time yeah fuck it

i'll text blutman too i know where to go in india blutman's not with him but blutman's here with us contact with them oh i think the other blutman's with him no okay no blutman's are with him it's jacob is he not a blutman jacob he's a boy and joey no blutman you want a job here you got to be a blutman yes you guys like the hot two-a No, I'm kind of annoyed. Oh, you have that take of that one woman? I didn't know what the one woman's take was.

One woman said, she went viral, she said, the Haktua thing is funny for people who have the sense of humor of a seventh grader. I do have that.

And I love the Haktua girl. Yeah, guilty as charged. She's right, yeah. She tried to own us and we don't care. So now the big controversy or debate is what she should do now.

What's her next move? She's got a Hawk Tua. People feel really bad for her. Why? Because she didn't ask for this limelight. She got interviewed after a bar. She was wasted and then woke up to this being her reality. She's the Hawk T a girl, yeah.

Yeah, did she have a job? She probably got a promotion. There's a lot of fake stories going around that she got fired from her job. Yeah. But it'll be like a different state, a different job every time. This is like the Oilers girl doing the press conference where she was like, fuck all the haters. Like, wait, who hated her?

Your tits rock. It's good that we're back in a place in society where it's like we're just outwardly horny online boobs rule yeah right like hawk to a girl and oilers girl are like the stars of the internet right now yeah i was surprised the hawk to a thing blew up like it did it didn't like when i watched, I didn't think that was like that insane of a video. The tits one, I understood. That one made sense. You're keen to the trend.

You saw the tits and you were like, this is going to be big. This is huge. This is big. You're like Lou Pearlman. Sign this woman. Hawk 2 was a big miss for me. I saw it and I was like, eh, alright. I didn't think it was going to be mega, mega this woman. Hawk 2 was a big miss for me. I saw it and I was like, eh, all right. Yeah, I didn't think it was going to be like mega, mega vulgar.

Right. For a while now. Since Call Me Daddy. Yeah. That's what started it. Or Amy Schumer. I think it was how she said it, I guess. It was the southern accent.

It was that kind of big part of it. Yeah. And it also just like, it's the implication. Yeah. That she would spit on your penis. Oh. Yeah. I didn't put that to you.

I didn't think that I could be in the position. Yeah. Oh. It's like, oh shit. I never thought that I could get spat on my penis. I usually get mad. One of the hottest things. It's one of the most insulting things you could do on any other part of the body.

You're right. But as soon as it's penis? As soon as there's a common moogie on my cock. One small heat circle that it's the best. Wow. Che, what's the male equivalent? We should make Che go viral for this. You ever put on Burt's Bees for a tingle?

Oh no, that'd be horrible Che does the mouth swab Or an ice cube on the tongue Oh, that could be No, I'll tell Alright What's your move if you're Mr. Tua? I don't think.

I think you just sit there. The father. I was going to say. I don't think there is a Mr. Tua picture. Yeah, yeah. There is no Mr. Tua. What is that? Shit.

I don't know. Can't clip the wings of that hawk I think you just Lean into it You get her on social media You let her cash out Yeah I think you just hope Maybe

The apple didn't fall far from the tree With Mrs. Tua Yeah Oh yeah She could calm him down Mrs. Tua's been hawked to it a lot Uh huh To a tongue

Yeah To a tongue. Yeah. To a tongue. Tongue go low. Tongue go va. Tongue go voila. Voila. Magic tongue. Hawk to a.

Yeah, Che, you need to come up with some. So I did at the Dozen live show, there was a yak fan who had our novel and we were sitting in a section that was above and he threw it up to me with a pen to sign and I did I signed my technique you wrote how to eat pussy in the book yes my technique

is out there how long did it take for you to write sign that I did it was it all illegible oh no no no it was uh you put the pen in his? I did, yeah. It was an illegible? Oh, no, no, no. He put the pen in his mouth. And did it. Yeah, just follow this. No, but it's out there.

It's out there. Wow. You gave it away for free like that? Lucky woman. It was a dude that threw it, but yeah. No, I'm saying the... Yes, the recipient of that, yeah. Yeah.

Concussed. Yeah, you've been off since KB slammed you. He's concussed. Yep. He's been a concussed boy. There was a comment. It was like, someone please get Steven to a doctor. Yeah.

No, I really do think that if we did a CAT scan, they'd be like, this man's just not been using a third of his brain. Even with the case race entrances, your entrance was up on the screen. We all looked. You were still sitting in there watching. Yeah. Have you noticed, like, as you're gambling, you've been worse at picks since you've been slammed. True.

Yes. The data sucks. Is he always in the conversation right now? Nope. I would – NBA had a rough playoffs but someone's coming back tonight. Best gambler to ever do it. Stevie Ice. 4-0. I thought WNBA

was the best to ever do it. Stevie Ice never lost. Sorry. What's your play tonight? Tune in to Quick Picks. Exclusively on there. No. I'm not. There's more people watching now. No. I wouldn't even know how to do something.

What is this show? Steady ice. Does anybody know how hard the Illinois driver's license test is? I've got to take that in about an hour. Tell me how it goes because I have to do it. You should have. Danny Conrad's got a hookup at the DMV. What?

Danny offered to let me use his car to practice parallel parking. He didn't tell me that he had a connection. Yeah, he's got a DMV connection. She's like the front person. I don't think she can pass the driving test. But some states it's like a total joke. And then other states are like a fully loaded semi with hot brakes going 60 miles an hour it takes how many centimeters to stop wait why do you have to take it you have to do uh i'm coming

from out of state and i have to do that too because i haven't changed yeah i haven't my my california license expires tomorrow since when did you live in california yeah that's what i before i moved yeah that's what you guys thought i lived here when when we started here now i moved here from californ Oh, shit. Sacramento? The desert? Bakersfield? I don't want you to make it public, but my address, you'll find if you Google it,

it's right by the beach. Right here on this California. Wow. It expires tomorrow, so I got to go today. You should start doing it. Wait a minute. Are you implying that your birthday is tomorrow? No, I'm not implying.

It is. My birthday is. I guess my license expires tomorrow. Case race. Case race. No, I'm actually nervous about walking in there with a bunch of hubris and saying, it's a fucking driver's test. How hard could this be? And them being like, welcome to Illinois, bitch.

Well, just don't walk in there with a bunch of hubris. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's why I asked. Has anybody been through this? Be humble. I would fail right now. Oh, certainly would. Should we find one online?

Be very humble to the workers. Is he talking about the written test or the driving test? I don't know. I don't even know what it entails. I'm walking in and I'm saying I would like a driver's license. In my head, I think this should take like 10 minutes. It should be very easy. But I'm asking, does anybody know if it's actually hard?

Written seems harder than just driving. No. There's a lot of traffic rules I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I'm hoping it's like, what is an octagon sign? I know that, yeah. What is it? Yield.

Stop. We'll find that slow down a little bit as you all right you might find this i don't i don't know that sign i don't know what that means where lane ends also on the outside of sharp curve i mean context sharp curve yeah what is that that's yeah could be near a winding road yeah i didn't know this that could be near a winding road oh no that is a winding road. Yeah, I didn't know this. That could be near a winding road. Oh, no, that is a winding road. No, well, on the outside of a sharp curve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels like both.

All right, nice. As you approach the curve, it is safer to drive over the center line, increase your speed, apply brakes. That's reduce your speed. That's right. This is easy. That's almost certainly always the right answer. Let's go around. All right, yeah, yeah, until someone doesn't get a clitus.

When following a truck at night, you should always use your high beam headlights's go around. All right, yeah, yeah. Until someone doesn't get it. Hitis. When following a truck at night, you should always use your high beam headlights, use your emergency flashers, drive in the no zones, dim your headlights. It's got to be drive in the no zone, right? What's a no zone?

It's the last one. Dim your headlights. Are they all the way? There you go. Mook. I mean, come on. Say it out loud. Oh, this one's easy.

In Illinois, every child passenger under the age of blank must be secured in an appropriate child restraint system. You got this. Eight. Yeah, most states it's eight. Oh, nice. Get that fucking eight-year-old out of the... Yeah, that's too old. Embarrassing.

Say it, KB. That's a gang shit. What is it? If a driver behind you flashes his or her, you should. Switch on your high beam headlights, switch on your low beam headlights, increase your speed and move ahead or get out of the way. Get out of the way. That's street smarts.

Oh. A conviction for passing a stopped school bus with its lights flashing and arm extended will result in a license suspension of $300. First of all, you're an asshole. All of the above. Oh. You always got to select all of the above. All right, all right, all right.

You're allowed to drive on the left side of a multi-lane highway when you are avoiding an obstruction, turning left, passing another vehicle, doing any of the above. It's doing any of the above. Damn right. Okay. So every single answer is the last one. vehicle, doing any of the above. It's doing any of the above. Damn right. Okay. So every single answer is the last one. If it's all the above, I'm going to go with no passing.

Wow. Nicky Brains. Sign indicate. That is a two-way. Run ahead now. Two-way merge in traffic ahead. Two-way right turn. No, it's a two-way left turn lane. That's the first one. Nice. Easy, dude. Run ahead now. Two-way merge and traffic ahead. Two-way right turn. No, it's a two-way left turn lane.

It's the first one. Nice. This is easy, dude. I got this. Passing another vehicle is allowed. I feel good now. This is what I was hoping it would be. Oh, Jesus, Mook.

Oh, no, Mook. One-way street. Oh. Mookie. Wow. Mookie. Wow. Mookie drives. Back to a child in a school crossing guard. It's subject to...

You got to go all the way. Yeah, it's all the way above. It's just always all the way above. The sign indicates that you are on a... One-lane bridge, a divided highway, a one-way road, or a two-way road? Two-way road? You got this a one-way road, or a two-way road? Two-way road? You got this.

Two-way road? Yeah. Oof. At night or in poor visibility, loads extending four feet or more to the rear of a vehicle must have... Oh, see, this is the tricky one. Fuck. This is the tricky one. He said the meat. You might be out.

Oh, man. All right. I'm going to go with the long one. I'm going to go... No, 500 feet is too much. I'm going to go with the long one. I'm going to go. No, 500 feet is too much. I'm going to go with the short one. 200 feet. No, it's never the short one.

Oh, 500. You've got to go long. Why would it be less safe? You can't drive, bitch. I don't care. 200 feet, that's a long way. Well, you should care because you don't have your license anymore. Nick?

I'm going to go with winding road ahead. Yes. These are easier. When you're driving, you may blank on your cell phone. Read a text message? That's read a text message. You can watch Twitch, actually. Yeah, e-tweet.

You can tweet or watch Twitch. You can type it, but you can't send it. Send, type, read. Yeah, none of the above. The third one. Yeah, yeah. Nice. This is easy. You're driving read. Yeah, none of the above. The third one, yeah. Nice. This is easy.

You're driving at 20 miles per hour on a highway. You should drive. What? What? Is this easy? Okay, shoulder. Oh, my God. Oh, man.

Move this out. Why would you ever drive on a shoulder? Yeah, that's way too slow. Wait, wait, wait. When you were driving at 20 miles per hour on a highway? It's the same when you drive slow. Should you be in the right way? 20 miles per hour?

20? 20 is crazy. Get on the shoulder. I thought you were pulling over on the shoulder. Yeah, I thought that was like, I need a breather here. That's broke. Who's going 20 in the right lane? You can never drive on the shoulder.

You can't drive on the shoulder. You stop on the shoulder. I thought shoulder was like emergency. Okay, you're involved in a crash that causes damage to an unattended vehicle or other property. What should you get the fuck out of there? Oh, my God. All of the above. No, it's get the fuck out of there.

It's always all of the above. A driver must yield in all the following situations except when roads curve to the right or left, when approaching emergency vehicles using audible and visual signal, when the light is green and there are vehicles already in the intersection, make a right turn on a red light after stopping. I think it's the first one. Yes. Oh, God.

Give me another sign. No. When exiting your parked vehicle on the traffic sign, it is recommended to open the vehicle door with your right hand to. What? Exit faster, protect the vehicle. When exiting your parked vehicle on the traffic side senior park vehicle on the traffic side you're exiting on the traffic exit what is recommended to open the vehicle door

with your right hand it's got to be the site I know I know which one it is is easy protect the cyclists yeah cycle. Cyclists. Protect the cyclists. Protect them at all costs. Yeah, extend your right arm all the way. As far out. That's crazy. You can just open it slightly with your left. I've never done that.

You are allowed to pass on a two-lane, two-way roadway when passing a bicycle that's a pedestrian who's at least two feet from your vehicle. Can I get an all the above? Give me one all the above. You are allowed to pass when passing at least two feet from your vehicle. Can I get an all the above? Give me one all the above. You are allowed to pass. When passing at least two feet from your vehicle, when you're more than 200 feet from an intersection in a school zone, when a vehicle stopped at a crosswalk and there's a loud pedestrian.

No, it's when you're more than 200 feet from an intersection. When passing a bicycle, who's at least two feet from your vehicle. What? It's the first two. When you're more than 200 feet from the first one when passing a bison yeah that's gotta be it

oh Mark you can't drive wow you got that's it three feet not two feet you idiot

god damn dumbass that's fucked up okay KB me KB and Nick who's getting their license this indicates this is a trick one you got this Fucked up. Okay, KB. Meet KB and Nick. Who's getting their license? This indicates...

This is a trick one. You got this. Bicycles must... It's got to be bicycles must not use this road. Yeah. Good one. This is tough. Which of the following statements about pavement markings is false?

Oh, shit. Broken yellow lines separate traffic moving in opposite directions. Broken white lines separate lanes of traffic moving in the same direction. You're allowed to cross double solid yellow lines to make a left turn to or from an alley. You're allowed to cross a double solid white line on a highway. The last

one. No? Yeah! Which one did you think? I don't know. I just made the noise. Why do I keep on getting hands and arms? Is bent at 90 degrees and pointing downward. This driver intends to. That is.

Okay, so this is probably left turn. Left turn. Is that right? I'm going to go right turn. I like that answer. Right turn is up. Fuck! Oh, KB. Let's go. Mono e mono. Who is the right. Right turn is up. Fuck!

Let's go. Mono e mono. Who's in me? Who's right away when more than one vehicle arrives at a four-way stop? It's getting tough. The last vehicle to stop should be the large vehicle. The first vehicle to stop.

It's kindergarten shit. If you suddenly have no control The first vehicle to stop. It's kindergarten shit. That was. If you suddenly have no control of the steering wheel, you should apply the parking brake, ease your foot off the gas pedal, ease your foot off the brake pedal, shift gears. God, all of them. Just do whatever you can, man. Just shoot your pants.

Apply the parking brake. Tell Jesus to take you. Oh! No. AB's the winner. Car champion. Car champion. Worst driver ever.

Yeah, I'm bad. Okay. Nothing about alcohol consumption on there. No. No. You've been looking at a map for the last 20 minutes. Yeah. I'm, like, very upset with myself.

How do you feel? You kind of... I feel terrible. I've passed four CPA exams. I know I can, like, very upset with myself. How do you feel? You feel terrible. I've passed four CPA exams. I know I can, like, learn shit. But this is... Well, go find Missouri. But you're falling on the sword of ignorance for a lot of people that live amongst us.

Fuck you, Jake. All right, Malasek, get your fucking ass in here. I think Malasek can do it. He can. I mean, this is... Anybody who... But a lot of people can't. I... I don't understand. I don't understand a lot of people can't. I don't understand.

I don't understand. You don't use soap. It's pretty shocking to not be able to. To not know every state. Yeah, British people can. Malasek said that he's got his boys coming into town. What does that mean? He doesn't have boys.

No, he doesn't have boys. He's got so many dogs. He's got no boys. He said he's got five boys. How many boys you got? You guys are my boys. Outside of the company, I think I have four boys.

I got a bunch of boys. I got a decent amount of boys. I got five boys. You can name all the states? Go fast. Go fast. Go faster. Washington, Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Faster. Faster.

Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland. This is Delaware over here. New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island,

Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine. Yeah. That's only 48. Wow. Last go wide. He did it. Sick. That was pretty good. Sick. Yeah, it was. Really good. That was pretty damn good. Wow. He did it Sick Sick

Wow You should be able to do that Add that to the gauntlet At least you know the oceans There's way less oceans Wait You don't know the oceans I thought you did

Don't act like you don't know the oceans Do you know the great lakes I thought you did. Don't act like you don't know the oceans. Do you know the Great Lakes? There are four? Oceans? Pacific? The oceans on this map. Indian and Arctic. There's only four? Yeah, what's the ocean off of California? The Pacific.

I thought there were six. The East Coast? Some people split one up. There is the Northern Ocean. Don't people call it? Isn't there a... A fake ocean. That's the Arctic. The Southern is like the Antarctic.

Yeah. Which is a real ocean. Really? I just... Well, we don't call it that. No. We've learned it as the Arctic. I think it's now called the Southern.

Yeah. Southern Ocean. So there's now five. No, there's four. Atlantic being on there twice trips you out a little bit. And Pacific. Yeah, Pacific's on there, yeah. My brain doesn't hold information.

It only holds information that is useful for me within a 24-hour period. And then it's out. And then you dump it. Your thighs are looking thick today. Yeah, they are. Oh, damn. They are. Are looking thick today. Yeah, they are. Oh, damn. They are. Are they sagging?

Yeah, they are. What is that? I ate a lot this week. It went straight to the thighs? Yeah. Right to your thighs. Fuck. Right to your thighs.

Why isn't your wound healing? And are you concerned? Because that's how they found out on scrubs. I mean, I'm not that concerned because- Ben Sullivan has hemia. He was still bleeding while playing billiards. It keeps bleeding because I keep falling. Brandon, did you Nashville or Chicago?

I did NASCAR. Nashville or Chicago? Oh, I did Nashville. Well, NASCAR's first ever street race in the heart of Chicago is coming up. Biggest names in NASCAR will battle on Sunday, July 2nd for 100 laps in the NASCARar cup series inaugural grant park 220 drivers will be tested on the unprecedented 12 turn chicago street course running through iconic grant park i'll be there two-day music festival featuring chain smokers

miranda lambert the black crows and charlie crockett chicago street race july, 5.30 p.m. NBC. Wait, July 2nd? No, July 7th, right? Yeah, I think this date is wrong. I think we have this wrong on here. It's July 7th. So apparently they're getting ready out there for the live first grade test for Mincy. They're doing it live right after us. Oh, that's what it is?

Yeah. So he's doing a test to see if he's as smart as a first grader. And that's a great look for us Southerners. I think he's academically fine. Yeah. I don't think. Why is Spider becoming Tigger? Oh, because they're going to do a rhyming game with Mitzi?

Yeah. Oh, that must be it. That's not safe. That must be it. I've never seen the alphabet all horizontal. What? It's like above every chalkboard. Yeah, never mind.

It's been a while. I got mad at you. Dude, what? Have y'all made sure that nothing's missing? Because I feel like they would put it up so something would be missing but everything seems to be there

I can't see G through L though Luke do you know the letters yep do you know all the numbers yep no way

I know all the numbers TJ throw up a huge one see if you can say it what are you making me say numbers, dude. This should be the easiest one for you. Mook's going to just be in the back of this, just taking notes. How'd we go, Daniel?

Mincy's learning shit. Mook, if I'm you, I'm collecting people to come not know it as well. Yeah, you got to find... Find a dunce. You should go find a dunce. Just go right now. Find another dunce. Got it. I'm collecting people to come not know it as well yeah you gotta find find a dunce you should go find a dunce just go right now find another dunce I'm on it go find someone else as well what number is that shit yeah what's that holy fuck I'm actually gonna try I couldn't tell you how many did one two three let me try 70 whatever's I could not one pass whatever's trillion right $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, we're not shitting on you i had a good day friday and we're just right back to no i'm gonna give you one you know never mind go ahead give no i don't know i want to give you a layup

georgia i think you can find miami i can yeah i can find my am Miami. You got it. No, I can't find Miami. You can find Miami. I can't. Yes, you can. South Florida. Okay. There you go. Yeah, somewhere in the south.

You know Miami. Well, I mean, there's... So flow. There's one side it should be on. It's on the right side. Correct. Yeah. I got it.

East. Yeah. Southern Florida. Yeah, you got it. yeah southern florida yeah yeah okay crush that don't let me get hot there it is i'm going to florida next week i think you're going to alabama well i was telling people i was going to florida so nobody would know i was going to be in orange beach oh shit my bad thanks fuck dick orange beach probably wonderful alabama i like it so nobody would know I was going to be in Orange Beach, Alabama. Oh, shit. My bad. Thanks. Fuck. Dick. Orange Beach is probably wonderful. Alabama.

I like it. Yeah? What day is he going to be there? Oh, the sand is all white, right? Yeah, I'm going Sunday. Oh, Sunday. Saturday now. Might go Friday. I don't know.

I'm going next week. I'm out tomorrow and Wednesday. We're going to Cincy to interview Joe Burrow. The quarterback? Yeah. Very excited. Tell him I said what's up. I will.

Thank you. I actually will. Thank you. Yeah, say Nick Terani says what's up. I bet he likes you. No. Yeah. Absolutely not.

He's a nerd. Yeah. All the reason to not like me. No. You didn't know. He probably, you got that nerd stuff. Just tell him I said what's up. See what he says.

All right. What do you want me to say? Nicky Clicky? No. tell him I said what's up. See what he says. All right. What do you want me to say? Nicky Clicky? No, Nick Turaney says what's up. Ed O'Nick? When you say somebody like Joe Burrow's a nerd, he's not really a nerd. Yeah, he's a starting quarterback in the NFL. No, but he loves Star Wars and shit.

It's not the same thing. He's a nerd. He doesn't have a favorite Yu-Gi-Oh? Everybody has a favorite Yu-Gi-Oh. It's just a dual monster. Yu-Gi-Oh? Everybody has a favorite Yu-Gi-Oh. It's just a dual monster. Not everybody has a favorite Yu-Gi-Oh character. No. Oh, he drafted him.

Oh, he's going to get it. He knows these, though. He picked the wrong guy. He's got a saunter to him as well. Maybe he doesn't. Rick, show us Kansas. Oh. Oh, boy.

I don't know how this is possible. Rick. This one, right? Oh, my God. We're out of here. Let's go. Congratulations. You're smarter than white boy Rick.

He had the cockiest walk, too. You don't walk off like that after missing Kansas. He had the cockiest walk, too. You don't walk off like that after missing Kansas. He did not want to come in, either. He was like, what are you going to do to me? Well, yeah, he's still kind of forgotten about his whole story arc with his back. Oh, yeah. Go get another one, Mook.

Go point to Georgia real quick. Just show the Mook. Go point to Georgia real quick. Just show the people Georgia. Just point to Georgia real quick. I think Kansas is a good test. Just point to Georgia real quick. They're watching the gambling cave. True. But we didn't tell them.

Oh, my God. Not a lot of action over there, though. They're all joking, right? They're all... Nope. I don't think they are. Nope. I truly don't understand. I've done this before in the New York office, and they're not joking.

How does that happen? I don't know. That's like... I think it's the most basic information there is. It's as basic as it gets. I don't understand how you get past... Like, alphabet and numbers and then states. And Rick is from here, too.

Yeah. I usually thought it was like the Long Island bubble yeah shouldn't be i don't i don't know yeah what we got oh oh come on he's gonna get it quick donnie yes can you show us wyoming it's before Colorado. Wow, that's... No! Get out, Donnie. Donnie! How's the restaurant going?

Congrats on the opening. Anyone who goes there knows they're getting cooked. Wait, Che, do you know what's happening? He's not focusing on anything else. Che, do you know the states? Absolutely not. Oh, get over here, Che, do you know what's happening? He's not focusing on anything else. Che, do you know the states? Absolutely not. Oh, get over here, Che. Brandon, are we the two smartest?

I know every state. I think everybody here. Are we all fucking geniuses? It's not hard. This is a test I had to take multiple years. Want me to get more or not? Che, yeah. I want as many as you can get.

Kind of, yeah. I want everybody. I want the whole fucking company where's Colorado um oh man four corners is that should be

if you have that information Utah New Mexico Arizona I don't know in what order so then Utah, New Mexico, Arizona. These two, I don't know in what order. So then Utah, Colorado. Give him another one. Give him another one.

Yeah, you got it. Take him back east. Okay. Kentucky. Nice. That's a good one. That is a good pick. I'm going to want to do Kentucky.

Somewhere in here. Yeah, well. Oh. I don't even think he could point out the wall. Is this Kentucky? Yeah. Get out of there. You're good. You're good.

You know it. Oh, here we got a real ringer. Like from the movie. Vasoli. Vasoli, show us. Show us Vermont. Vermont. Well, he's from.

You can't do that. Yeah, you can't do that. Oh, it's labeled. Okay. What about Missouri? This is Michigan. Okay. Yep, that's the different.

He's right. Yes. Hold on right. Yes. Hold on. Hold on. How did Michigan help you? The M states. Yeah. What about Wyoming?

Oh, he's good. Oh, he's good, baby. Is that how you guys learn? I owe you an apology. No, I'm in Missouri. I never learned. Where's Missouri? And he goes,

Michigan is here. What's going on in your brain as you... But is Michigan the starting point? I don't know. That's how I think. That's how he thinks. He's three for three. Show me Oregon. Oregon? Oh, you walked right to it. No, he didn't.

Oh! Womp womp. Oh, it's above California. Lucas. Better than most, Fasoli. Oh, it's above California. Yeah. Uh-huh. Lucas. Better than most, Fasoli. Lucas, Nebraska.

That's the one I don't know. I want to say this one. Yeah. What about Colorado? Square? Nope. Yeah. What about Colorado? Swear? Nope. This swear? Yep. Do you have Tennessee?

Yeah. All right. Not bad. Not bad. So only like semi-morons. This was our best group so far. Mook, you are in the top half of brains here. Yeah.

And I owe you an apology. Good job, Mook. I just think like not as many people as you think are aware of geography. No, I know. Yeah. The one thing that I did know and I've lost is state capitals. Yeah, same. I used to know state capitals and I do not now.

They're intentionally tricky. Yeah, I've definitely lost state capitals. Like, Nicky Smokes flew to Seattle and he was like, oh, I'm near Mount Everest. Yeah, that was bad. He got shit for it. Edmonton. Yeah, he should get shit for that. He thought he was near Mount Everest. Yeah, that was bad. He got shit for it. Edmonton. Yeah, he should get shit for that. He thought he was near Mount Everest?

Yes. He said a trick to get to Hawaii that's faster than flying is take a boat from Florida. He did tell me that. He confused Hawaii with Cuba. Got it. I bet he thought he was getting to Hawaii quick. Yeah.

90 miles. Yeah. 90 miles. Yeah. I don't know. Are we to the point where you can take a boat to Cuba? I thought we were getting close like 10 years ago. And then Cuba's open. Seems like it fell apart. We're still.

I think you could take a flight. We can just go straight to Cuba now? Don't they have some Russian ships around there? Yeah, they got some. Yeah. They go pretty fast. Let's just see. Chicago.

Cuba. Maybe. Cuba. Maybe Havana. Is that where we're going? Cuba only has one city. Maybe not. Regularly reasons we're unable to display flights for this location. Oh. Damn.

Yeah, I thought they got close to opening it up, and maybe it did for a little bit, and then they quietly just kind of... Yeah, it doesn't let you go to cuba direct okay good you know good fact because bourdain went there and did a pretty good show yeah conan did too yeah weird that's weird great Great minds, huh? Seems like he's hitting all the ones that Tony already hit. There's only so many places. Finite.

There's a lot of places. Finite still. A lot of places. Finite still. All right. Want to do the High Noon ad? Yup. High Noon.

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Did anybody drink this weekend? I did. I couldn't do it. Saturday. I haven't had a beer yet. I've only done wine and liquor and stuff, but I cannot do... Were you able to get banged up, Mook?

Right. Yeah, I got pretty buzzed. Yeah? Why don't answer i just i i know i'm dumb and i'm sorry for being dumb all right it's i can't bother me at all i like it a lot yeah no it's great for the show um great fodder we have the chicago guys doing stand-up at laugh factory thursday oh hell yes oh they're all doing a... Oh, really? All three are going up, and so... Ooh. Dave, Chief, and Eddie.

Thursday night, Laugh Factory, 8 p.m. Tickets are flying. Are they? Whoa. What does that mean? Tickets are flying. Nice. So act quick.

Don't keep them in the car. Better get them right... Is there a promo code? There will be. Okay. By tomorrow, probably. Okay, okay. Hell yes. Get them now.

Buy them now. Hell yes. Okay, I will see you guys on Thursday. Yeah. Where are, bro. Okay. Okay. Hell yes. Get them now. Buy them now. Hell yes. Okay. I will see you guys on Thursday. Yeah. Where are you going? Cincinnati. To Borough.

Ooh. Cincy. I will see you guys after the week off, I guess. I'm going back to the sphere. Oh, cool. I've never been. I'm going back. You can probably tell.

I want to go back so bad. I think I'll come back. I close my eyes and I see the sphere and I open them and I see you guys and want to kill myself but what if it was us projected onto the sphere no offense to you guys at all

you guys went to the sphere I spent the weekend in a box with white walls you need to get some art I think I'm going to get multiple projectors and make my own cube it won't be the same nothing will be the same. Nothing will be the same ever again. All right.

See you guys. See you guys. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah, style of tape for a while. It's the act. It's the act. It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop or do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the action facing almost every other case race through the first weekend keep watching keep running it up drop a like thanks for 150k also thanks to specifically quigs who was up for like 36

hours last week editing the dozen intros and the case race on thursday fucking love that guy graphics team crushed it support staff and staff in chicago crushed it can't wait for the next one all right love you bye