The Yak - Rest in Peace, Poke Banana | The Yak 2-2-23

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

Take a trip on down to Calhoun Mania!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. All right. We're going to start there. Hey. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Guess what? Whoa.

He's back. Hey, guys. Ooh. Miss you guys. A vision in white back. Hey, guys. Ooh. Miss you guys. A vision in white. Miss you guys. Hello. It's so tough to be swaggy and comfy.

Guess who did it? I saw Kyle doing it yesterday. I said, you creamy. Cream cheese oatmeal. Welcome back, Big Cat. Big Cat, good to see you, brother. I missed you guys a lot. Where the hell have you been, brother? I've been everywhere. Well, I was bowling all day Tuesday. Cream cheese oatmeal Welcome back Big Cat Big Cat good to see you brother I missed you guys a lot

Where the hell have you been brother? I've been everywhere Well I was bowling all day Tuesday The office was huddled around the TV In the main area watching it For hours Crazy that like I didn't think

I was going to watch it Better than I could ever imagine I was rooting for those guys When they would get close So god damn hard I know And making me eat hot dogs. The whole thing was just very fun.

Also, Pete Webber was awesome. Pete Webber. What a legend. Brandon, look at that shirt, my caballero. Yes. It's a fun shirt Thursday. So you do look like a gay rancher. So is this, I heard you had sex on Tuesday?

I had sex with Jenks. Ass sex. My life has changed in the last 48 hours. What's on the shoulders? What's been going on the last 48 hours? Well, I had my date with Jenks, and I'm just a new man now. Yeah, that color placement is wicked. What's going on with the-

Adams? Yes, they're Adams. Is that a tungsten, Adam? This is the shirt that Marty McFly wore when he went to the Old West to save Doc Brown from the Old West. Everybody knows that. And when they asked, what's your name? He said, Clint Eastwood. So this is Clint Eastwood's shirt.

Looks so good. Looks great. Yeah. Brandon, I'm going to have you, tomorrow, let's have an obscure reference t-shirt off. Who can wear the most obscure reference t-shirt? I'm not going to be here, but can we do it Monday? We'll do it Monday. I got a good one, bro.

River Wild. I love that movie. I love that movie. That's not the same as The River Runs Through It? I thought it was The River Runs Through It. This was a much worse movie. It was? But it's so bad, but it's so good.

And Kevin Bacon is a fox in that movie. He's real bad. Kevin Bacon a fox? Kevin Bacon's Bacon is a fox in that movie. He's real bad. Kevin Bacon a fox? Kevin Bacon's always been a handsome guy. I didn't know he was handsome. I just thought he was every man. He's in my favorite movie of all time, Tremors. That's not a company.

It's my favorite movie. It's fucking awesome. It is awesome. You like Michael Gross in that? Is that the elephant gun guy? Yes. Then yes. Yeah.

It's scary. I don't want to go to Arizona if there's going to be tremors. I never understood at the end when they tricked the thing to jumping off the cliff and exploding. That was a dumbass worm, man. Yeah, it's a worm. Yeah, but it was outsmarting them earlier in the picture. Because it had the element of surprise. Rewatch it.

How many of the worms were there? I think there were three worms. But they were it. How many of the worms were there? Clemmer. I think there were three worms. But they were mean. They know of. Then they started flying and shitting the other ones. What's up boys?

Are dudes still getting worms like in their stomach? My dog has worms right now honestly. I'm sure they do. Yeah. But fellas.

And with people. They were like don't eat shit out of the dog's ass because humans can get these worms too. I'm sorry. So I got to make sure I don't eat shit out of the dog's ass because humans can get these worms too. I'm sorry, Ron. So I got to make sure I don't eat shit out of this dog's ass. Well, don't people do it as like a weight loss thing?

Yeah. Eat shit out of the dog's ass? Tape worms, right? I want that fucking drug that Joey's on. Diabetes drug? Yeah. You don't? Why?

Because it gives you diabetes. Oh. What's the drug? Why is there a drug that gives you diabetes? No, no, it doesn't really. It's a drug that all the rich people in Hollywood are using. It's like insulin, and it makes you not hungry. Yeah, you just don't eat.

But then when you stop doing it, your weight comes back like tenfold. But I like to eat. Tenfold? Yeah. Damn. A thousand pounds. You would weigh tenfold? Yeah, you would weigh over a ton.

That's funny because you know only the laziest people in the world are going to do it, which means they are also going to stop doing it. Yeah. They keep up that curriculum. That's actually a good point. How are people getting their hands on it? I think you get it prescribed. But you have to have diabetes.

No, I don't think so. Oh, you can just get the weight loss thing? Yeah. Oh. You should do it, Brandon. Joey. Yeah, both of us. Kamasta looks great.

We'll do it. Is that what he's been doing? I think so. You ought to be able to get it. Yeah, let's do it. Can you give me a quick, like, 30-second recap of the jinx? Because I was out yesterday, too. He never called in.

I thought he was going to call in and give us report cards. Well, the way you guys had an attitude about him, I think you were scared off He never called in. I thought he was going to call in and give us report cards. Well, the way you guys had an attitude about him, I think he was scared off from being called in. You guys poo-pooed him. Why'd you poo-poo him? I'm scared. I would never. I'm scared of being kidnapped.

Pete's going to go to the Museum of Modern Art with him. So we started off at the trip. An art museum. Yes. Well, I actually have a little twist. Okay, you're going to the museum with this guy? I said it on the show. He messaged me.

He said, DM me. We'll really go to the MoMA. How'd y'all ask? I like this. He gave guy? I said it on the show. He messaged me. He said DM me. We'll really go to the MoMA. How'd y'all like it? I liked it. He gave me the broken chair, by the way. That's just a straight up date. I do have a twist on the Jenks thing. I think someone just called in TJ.

I want to talk to him real quick. What's happening? A twist on Jenks? Yeah. So I talked to Jenks last night briefly and he gave me he told me something happened and I want to stop it right now before it happens. So it's not about you, Brandon.

Don't worry. Is he on? So we have someone at Barstool who let's just say he's really good at stealing people's broads. Oh. Of course. I thought it stopped there.

I thought he just steals women. Yeah. Turns out this person has also been trying to steal Jenks. He's going to steal our bro? He's going to steal our bro. Nadeau, are you there? Yo, what's up? What the fuck's he doing?

Hi, carumba. What are you doing, bro? You're trying to... We knew our women weren't safe what happened i saw this guy he friended me i or he followed me i followed him back and he sends me a dm and says hey i'm I like your content. I'm a fan of you. I've been doing stuff with the Yak, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's been doing stuff. He said, I go to Knicks games. I said, okay, cool. I said, I wouldn't want you to spend any money on me.

I didn't reach out to him. He reached out to me. He's fucking lying. It sounds like you're trying to steal our bro. Like, listen, dude, I'm fine with the fact the fact that like if my wife's ever near you it's over like we get it you you steal women you steal our women that's fine the contract i've accepted our man you can't go to the bros no but the thing is i think he's just like a fan of different people i i i was i told him i said that you're the yak yak dude. Like, I'm not on the yak. You didn't tell him that.

I believe him. I believe him. You're our bro. I swear, I could send you it. I said, bro, I don't want, like, that's their thing. I don't. Nadeau, you know that will make him want you more. Yeah.

You're doing the classic Nadeau. Yes. I mean, I'll definitely go to the game if he wants me. Of course. Of course. We can't get away from this guy. He steals everything from us. I know.

I was shocked when I heard this. My wounds have just healed. I just got used to sleeping alone. What game are you going to go to? Where are you going to stop? Where's the line? You're going to steal Roan's dog? No.

No. No, listen. He didn't see a shot. He sounded like he was going to. Well, I've never seen his dog. I mean, I like your dog. It's beautiful. Keep your eyes off, Stella.

Don't do that. No, we might go to like a February game. Maybe, I don't know. It's February. Maybe we'll do a home at home. He can come down here for a Sixers. He could take me to a Knicks. I'll return the favor.

That's what gentlemen do. Generous lover. I mean, they're just dating. I'm now getting details that you reached out to him first. That's untrue. He followed me, and I followed him back. You follow everybody back that follows you? What was the first message sent?

Here's what happened. I looked at his account and i thought oh okay this guy must know barstool people i don't i don't follow every storyline i saw he went out with brand he took brandon to a game i think someone mentioned he took che out and i followed him back and i said yo thanks for the follow bro like he looked like he was a hold on so you did reach out to him first whoa I don't think I did You said thanks for the follow I'm looking at it right now

What's this guy a fucking rat I don't think I could have sworn I just followed him Dude I fucking like you dude But you can't come after our bros This was also yesterday You were on that hot I thought he was like, you know, connected or something.

I don't know. I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to get none out of him. Thanks for the follow. You reached out to him first. Oh, get this off the screen. This is rat stuff. This is.

God damn it. What's this guy doing, bro? He's ratting my conversation. You're the one going after our guy. I did not know it was your fucking guy. Yes, you did. This is how it always happens. I thought he was a friend of yours or something.

Mr. Steal Your Bro. Oh, my God. Looks like an interesting character. That's all. I mean. Yeah, I bet you'll find out. Okay. I didn't know guys could be broads, too.

I know. All right. Well, thank you, Nadeau. I mean. First three letters. I guess. Whatever. Now we at least know that you can steal everyone from us.

I think you should be more mad at this guy. He's the one that asked me to go to a game. You're asking us to be mad at Jinx? No, we're not going to be mad at Jinx. Yeah, of course. I mean, I'm just saying. You know, I was just curious who he was. That's all.

Yeah. All right. We get it. You know, you steal everything. That's fine. It is what it is. All right. KB, I'll hit you later, bro.

We'll have more. Yeah, let's keep it going. What? All right. All right, KB, I'll hit you later, bro. We'll have more. Yeah, let's keep it going. What? All right. All right, see ya. I'm still KB. See ya. What's going on there, KB?

We're in talks. Oh, okay. He's a great texter. He sends the audio messages. Oh. No paper trail. No points missed. I couldn't believe it that we got a guy. We're all dating.

I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. Thanks for the follow. You might as well be howling and slobbering. We date one guy as a show. I don't know. They do send five total words and Jenks sent

ten words. That's twice as many words. They do send the first words. That's twice as many words. I mean, one is more... Who's going to do this with the first words? Yeah, but... Last time you sent thanks for the follow to somebody.

Never. Never. He's going to fuck Jenks. I know he is. He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. Is anybody else horny right now? Katie Hot Pockets,

are you really going to the museum with him? That is a full-fledged date. There is... Yeah, I know. That is only romantic. I had to break up with Pat. Yeah. You think he's ready to be a dad? I hope so

because I'm bringing my son. Oh, you're joking. Oh no, we're really going to the museum. I can't tell. I know. Katie Hotpockets. What a name really going to the museum. I can't tell. I know. All right. 80 Hot Pockets. What a name. Going to the museum.

Wow. So how was your date with Chanks? It was great. We went to the Triple Crown, had a couple drinks with the boys. That's where he takes everyone, yeah. And then we went and we sat front row, not court side, but front row of the last seats in our court side. And then we were right by the bench.

There we are. And he's just a great guy. Had a great time. Sat next to some fun people he he's a he's a section talker he he talks to everybody in the section oh i love it and he he dominated the section i i'm not a section talker so i think what we should do instead of jenks calling in today i think jenks you just got to take meticulous notes and um once we all date you we'll have you in live for a show and you can break it all down for us. Well, I kind of want to get his breakdown,

because he did the Steven one very well. I'd like to know if he liked me more than Steven. I thought it was very informative. I need you to leave the room. He didn't leave the room. Was Steven here? But you can talk about this fucking idiot Steven. I won't say anything.

That's true. I wasn't in the room. See? It was easy. No, because you were taking... He's a fucking moron. He's doing his Bucks heartbreak law. Yeah, he's a piece of shit moron.

You could say it to his face, he won't even realize. I'm not a piece of shit moron. Having it all... What, Steven? Come on. I mean, that time it did work. Having it all at the end would be interesting, though, just because it's blind. We can do that.

If we did a whole report card at the end. But Rowan and KB yesterday said they're not going. I'm going to go. I don't know if it's a report card like that, because then I'll want to, like, it'll gamify it, and it's not just going to be week to week where it's just like, oh, this person was better than the last. Yeah. This person's better than the last. It's like, I'll probably bring him a gift.

All right, so, Jenks, do this. Think it's all out in Rank Us? Yeah, make a meticulous ranking. You obviously remember Stephen Chay's date. Do the same for Brandon, and we're all going to date you, and then we'll have you in for a full show. Maybe a PowerPoint. Ooh.

Jenksy, I like a sober breakfast date. Ooh. See, y'all get to play in your stuff more than me and Stephen did. You went to the Lakers game. That's awesome. LeBron James is your favorite player of all time, and you saw him with him right by your work. You didn't have to travel.

You stayed in the city, and you got to have Nick as a buffer. It was awesome. It's a memory. Yeah. Fuck this shit up. I'm going to go to a game with him. You did fuck this shit up. Not anymore, dude.

That's Nadeau's territory. Thanks for the follow. He knew exactly what he was doing. Might as well just send him dick pics. Couldn't believe it when I heard it. No, Nadeau sent that from his bed with his feet kicked up behind him. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Fuck. He's good. He's good. He loves me. He loves me not. Nadeau knows what he's doing. Jeff Jenks is all over his composition notebook. I guess hearts.

Mr. Jeff Jenks. Big heart around it And then Steven are you depressed You should be Did you guys give it to him yesterday He's got this whole other thing going with me right now That's crazy

We're arguing he says LeBron Doesn't have a top 10 highlight tape in NBA Me and him are just fighting right now. I said that I ranked top 10 plays lists and I put LeBron 7th and Brandon took exception. This is what Jenks is doing to this show. Yeah. He knows.

You guys are fighting over Jenks through LeBron highlights. Telling me that T-Mac has a better career highlight tape than LeBron James. Top 10 playlists. The thing about top 10s is everyone has 10 plays. But they're also, LeBron has hundreds. You might have just seen a bad top 10.

Everyone has 10. Steven, are you ranking top 10s? LeBron has hundreds. Stop saying it like that. Did you put out a rank of top 10s? Yes, he did. Yeah. Okay, then that's just on the top 10. Say it again one more time.

The depth. I mean, I was texting with Connor Griffin about this morning, and he sent me like a 13-minute video of LeBron highlights, and I said, Connor, the thing about top tens is everybody has ten plays. Yeah. So LeBron's longevity and everything, just his peaks aren't as high as other peaks. And now he – Oh.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Everyone has a top ten. Everyone. Yeah. I put, who did I put above? Vince Carter, which we agree. You put T-Mac.

You put Wade. You put D-Rose. You put Michael, obviously. You put Vince. I don't know who the other two are. Mello. Wade? Mello.

You put Mello above him. No, no, I did not. I thought you did. You said you did. I said I like watching Mello. Trace McGrady. Derek Rose. Everybody I just said. I thought you did. You said you did. I said I like watching Melo. Tracy McGrady, Derek Rose. Everybody I just said.

Kobe, Michael Jordan. It's a crazy way to cope with the Bucs losing Tom Brady. This is what he's doing? Yeah. Going after goats and other sports. I had this crafted before the announcement arrived. You don't craft things. After the season ended. But do you realize how barren your life is now?

It's a fresh start, and I'm honestly kind of looking forward to it. Okay, that's a coach. He's back to being Stephen Shea. Freshly divorced. Like, you know what? I kind of want to try this single thing out. Like a bar scene. The apartment is way better than the house.

No fucking pool to worry about. I don't have to put up the seat. Lots of single guys around. Yeah. I don't even like my kids that much. Oh. You kind of knew the ride was over after the playoff, and that's when I was sad.

But now it's just like, okay, well, we know, and now we can kind of move forward. Kyle Trask season. Kyle Trask season. Oh, God. And then maybe, who knows, maybe we drop somebody. Maybe you trade. You're not getting anybody at 19, though.

Trade at one. Probably not. Oh, I see, maybe we draft somebody. Maybe you trade. You're not getting anybody at 19, though. Trade at one. Probably not. Oh, I see. Look at his face. God damn it. He's in draft mode. Look at that fucking face. He's hoping Richardson slips.

I'll trade you right now, Tristan Wirfs and Mike Evans for the number one pick and your pick this year, first round pick this year, first round pick next year. No. That's a good trade. Damn, that was stupid of you. Tristan Wirfs is like one of the best tackles in the league. Yeah, but if you get your quarterback, you're set forever. No, you need a line to protect the quarterback.

The Bengals. I also don't think there's a surefire quarterback in this one. CJ Stroud and Bryce Young are good, but I don't think this is Trevor Lawrence coming out. Yeah, you want to throw Justino in there, maybe we're talking. I'm not giving you Justin Peele. Justino. You're not giving up Justino? Why would we trade the number one pick and Justin? Boston over him saying Justino? there. Maybe we're talking. I'm not giving you Justin Fields. Justino. You're not giving up Justino? Why would we trade the number one pick and Justin?

Boston over him saying Justino? No, instead of. Oh, instead of? Yeah. Oh. Huh. Hmm. Huh.

Hmm. Indeed. Make the trade pick. So Justin Fields for Tristan Wirfs and Mike Evans. And the 19th pick. Yeah, then draft C.J. Stroud. You're good. Yeah, you're good.

That's a good chance. Okay. Done. Done. You got to let Jason Light know. I'll let him know. All right. So you just –

Fuck. So you don't have a left tackle now. We have the number one pick, Tristan Wirfs, Mike Evans, and the 19th pick, and you get Justin Fields. Yes. Sign me up. And your first round pick next year. Nope.

That wasn't part of the deal. Yeah, it was. Nope. Nope. You still got a good deal. You got a fleece. Yeah. I got fleeced?

Yeah. What? All you got was Justin Fields. Yeah. He's going to get a Justin Fields in the draft. There ain't nobody better than Justin Fields in this draft. Oh. That's close.

I mean, C.J. Stroud's really fucking good. You're already acting like Justin Fields is on the box. No, I didn't say I'm Will F's guy. This is awesome. This is how deals get done. Portage chapter. He's a huge Yak fan. Whoever is running the Twitter right now,

can we break that news that this trade happened to? That's a massive deal for you. That was a coup. I love Justin Fields, but I have to say yes to that deal. And now Jersey Jerry doesn't have to hate Chicago. Yeah, perfect. Win-win. You can hate Steven.

Win-win. Win-win-win. Nah, we're memorabilia buddies. What else did I miss? Did you put on Kate's braces? No, we're memorabilia buddies What else did I miss? Did you put on Kate's braces? No we're waiting for you Oh I have them I brought them today I've been sitting in rubbing alcohol

And little baggies on my desk For like three days now Okay Oh that's just gonna be Putting on a fresh one I wouldn't quite say that They're shaped exactly like her teeth And they are stained a little yellow

But that just happens. That happens to all of them because the last few days I say, I'm going to start drinking coffee with him and I'm whatever. Start smoking cigarettes. A deep, full yellow. Okay, Nick. Yeah, I'm happy. Yeah, you are.

I'm doing it with you. Yeah, that's yes. I appreciate that. So how are you doing it with him? I'm going to happy. Yeah, you are. I'm doing it with you. Yeah, that's, yes. I appreciate that. Wait, so how are you doing it with him? I'm going to put on a pair as well. After Nick. Two pairs? Oh, she brought in two pairs, I think.

I think she, what if it's just a top and a bottom? What is it, 30 seconds? You should just both put in one, like the top and the bottom. So you don't have to swap from one mouth to the other if it's only a single pair. Francis, what are you doing? You want to sit in here? Me? Yeah, we lost our comedian today.

Who, me? Damn, brother. I almost just nicked you. Why does that hang right like that? I don't know. Francis, when is my Oops! The Podcast episode coming out? Next week. It's kind of bullshit to just make me wait.

Well, we don't... I don't know. We can't really turn them around that fast. It's not our fault. It's the producers. It was a great episode. It was good. I told the whole crew that you dropped out of Fordham.

Yeah, that hurt. Why have you been hiding that from us? Fordham dropout. Because it didn't matter. No, it matters. It trumps Harvard. I don't think that's how education credits work. College dropout.

Fordham dropout. Law school dropout. Right. Okay. Law school dropout. I live with that. But Harvard's erased i don't think it's the most recent thing you'd try absolutely is is that right oj simpson running

back doesn't sound right that was good yeah i was talking to che the way. I try to get his bets before he posts them. Oh, yeah, so 21,000? 2,100? I don't have it yet today. He won't tell you? No, he does. He just doesn't have one picked out yet. You said you bought a Montclair coat off of it? Yeah.

I have it here today. It's really sick. Can we see it? Go get it? Put it on? Yeah, let's see it. I got to see this Montclair coat. Francis, college dropout.

Wow, it says it right there. Because you just had Moncler on yesterday. I did, yeah. You got a Moncler? I got a Moncler beanie. Fuck, look at you, Nicky. 350 MSRP. LA Blue Book 350.

I got a good deal. Is this a new brand? Moncler? Oh, I don't know. I got mine from Chinatown. I think it's... Town. I think it's...

I think it's an older French brand. I don't think it's brand new. How old is it? 1952. 1952. It's also Italian, not French. Oh, wow. Scroll down.

Oh, you're peacocking. Wow. You know what you are? You're looking like a guy who's trying to skirt the rumors that you dropped out of Fordham. Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber. Oh, no. That's a cool piece. Yeah.

Kyle? That guy definitely couldn't have dropped that at Fordham. Wow. That's a lot of coat, man. That's high tech. What do you think, KB? That's a nice coat. It's almost good.

I agree. Oh, no. You know what I'm saying? Oh, no. It's almost good. Almost good? I like it. Thank you, Stephen Che.

Yeah. How much did that run? It's $2,700. Holy shit. I won it. I got, Stephen Che. Yeah. How much did that run? It's $2,700. Holy shit. I won it. I got it thanks to Stephen Che. Wow. Thank you, Francis.

Yeah. Stephen making drinks. Francis is one of my original writers. Yeah. Very early on. Very, yeah. Takes it every day. Early adapter.

I thought Montclair was French. It sounds French. It's Italian. Everybody knows it's Italian. It said it was found in France. It said it was in Italian. Pull it up. It was right there in front of everybody.

Montclair's an Italian luxury fan house. Scroll down now. Was that the jacket? Founded in France. Yeah. Oh, there you are. Oh, there's your Montclair jacket. They're the ones that left for Italy.

You were just so snug over there. Really warm. Steven, have you bought anything off of your bets? No, I'm stacking chips right now. Stacking. Francis, we're all putting Kate's braces on. What? Yeah.

Are you serious? It's a bad day to be here. Go first. Yeah, you go second, Francis. This is disgusting. Oh, my God. They're removable. Are we supposed to drink the water first

oh it's rubbing alcohol drink a little bit of the rubbing alcohol I had them soak in rubbing alcohol it burst in the bag so then they were sitting and all the marker came off so it was sitting in like marker juice in the bag so then I had to rinse them off really good

that's just water I just I didn't know if you could put rubbing alcohol right into your mouth. How do you feel? It's only fair. After I saw Che hanging in the air with that wedgie, I realized, you know. You bear your cross. Ew, ew, ew. Oh, there's him.

Ah! Ew! So your timer's going. Is it 30 seconds? These are from the very beginning when my teeth were fucked up. Did we say 30 seconds? They're like extra snaggly. Oh!

60 seconds. 60? Yeah. So he started at 45. I am so sorry. I don't know why this is happening. It's my fault. Yeah.

All right? If I bite down I might shit a little bit Oh my god Do you feel like me? 30 more seconds Big Cat 30 more seconds for you

How many sets of these Do you have? A ton We're passing them around Every two weeks You get a new set No And this is why

We both make millions of dollars Like this. All right, 54 seconds. I'm going to keep them in. Yeah, that's pretty simple. I'm like Kanye right now. You can't even notice them. Right, they blend.

Somebody ordered pancakes. I just sipped the scissor. That's time. Ew, ew, ew. Son. Ew. Your drool string. It's very bad to take.

Ugh. Gross. We're just right at the top of the minute. Three, two, one. Oh, gross. Oh, come on, Nick. Get him in the mold. Get him in the mold.

Get him in the mold. I'm sorry. I don't want the mold. Get him in the mold. I'm sorry. I don't want them. You got to have them too. He's tearing up. He's starting to tear up. He's locking in now. Oh, man.

That was gross. This makes me feel gross. 30 seconds. If you throw up, you can't end early. You just throw up. You're good? You'll be good. 20 seconds.

I can't look at you. He's fine. You got this. He's a big, strong boy. He's good. Is it getting worse? Ten seconds. Come on, brother.

You look cool as hell, though. You look so cool. Five seconds. You look so cool. Your teeth look so straight. Get them out. Here you go, Nick. We did it. All right, Francis.

All right, Francis, you're up. Which ones do I do? Either of the ones you just took out? Yeah. That's what's happening? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do not have to do it, man.

Oh, no, he's down. They had to do it? He's down for it. They got a wheel. He got picked by the wheel. He just pulled the wheel. No, Big Cat didn't get picked by the wheel. He's a volunteer.

I did it because I felt bad that I put that on my wheel, and I didn't want to be the guy who's just making someone else do it, so I'm leading from the front. You know what was the worst part? Thank you for cleaning them so meticulously. I really did. The mouth feel of another person's teeth. Yeah.

That makes you want to be a killer. Oh. Yeah. KB, has any killer Ever done that With the teeth Taking out someone's teeth Yeah they don't really

Fuck with teeth Like you would think Kind of let them be Yeah That's the one thing Yeah I mean They're really in there I think they're harder

To take out than you think Nah I'm kidding They really They knock the teeth out What's he doing I don't know I don't think he wants To be on camera

I like the white hood though What is it What is he doing And now't know i don't think he wants to be on camera i like the white hood though what is it what is he doing and now he can't walk but what is going to someone else's podcast obviously but we've been here i can't wait wouldn't that be diabolical if someone if a serial killer murdered someone and then took out their team put them in their mouth oh good look somebody help him through the fucking door. Oh, he's a special guest on Out and About? Please end this.

Does he not... Why is he... I don't understand. Can we see what's going on? We got to get in that room. What the hell? Helping him in? They're just easing him in.

They won't have any idea it's Frank. Kate, does this bring back memories of the Marines? Yeah, definitely. They're going to start hitting him with soap in a minute, right? Oh, man, I can't wait for this reveal. They're going to be shocked. What songs are they playing, Abu Ghraib? Oh, it's Kim.

Yeah. M&M. Yeah, they're playing Kim. I found out a playlist of what they would play for the detainees at Abu Ghraib. No way. It was Guantanamo. Gu detainees at Abu Ghraib. No way. It was Guantanamo. Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib aren't the same thing, right? They did it at both, I think.

Remember when Sass thought he could get waterboarded? Yeah. For like four seconds. And not really waterboarding. So they were playing this song at the... There's a list of the songs that they would... At Guantanamo that they would the playlist as punishment like oh what they would do is they would play these songs over and over and

over really high all through the night so that the detainees couldn't sleep which meant that they kind of that's a way to break them it's like uh you know auditory torture. They do that. They don't let the contestants on Bachelor sleep, right? Same thing. Yeah. Same type of vibe. I think all that stuff shot at 4 a.m. What would be... I mean, just Stephen Chay's JPP over and over?

Oh, my God. Mincy sounds? Mincy sounds, I would probably sleep like a baby. Comforting. Mincy makes sounds that the seven dwarves made when they were sleeping. And their hat goes up every time he snores. He's throwing his nightcap up and down. He wakes up at like 3 a.m. for some gumbo.

He brings his candles to me. Vince wrote a blog when I quit the dozen that was the worst blog I've ever read on Barstool. Wait, why did you? Hold on. It's number one, the worst thing I've ever read. We're tired. Pull up the blog, but why'd you quit? I was so bad at it.

Oh, the Fordham dropout thing? Yes. Yeah. Now it's all kind of connected. I was hurting whatever team I would have been on. Who cares? I know, I was having fun, but I truly was the 71st out of 73 players. That's how bad I was.

Who was behind you? Alex Bennett and... Stu. Stu, find her. Successful people. Very successful. Successful people. Can I read you this Mince blog?

Both have been millionaires at a certain point in their life. I almost wrote a long response blog about it, but I felt like that would be too mean. No, you can do anything to Mintz. He and Stephen Chair are the two impenetrable brains at this company. I don't even know if it would have been, I wasn't even worried about him.

I was worried about how people would have felt. You might get attacked next time. Plus, revenge is a dish best served cold, so this is the perfect time to do it. So let me preface this by saying that the first time that I did the dozen with Ben Mintz and Robbie, I didn't do very well, and Ben Mintz went around the office afterwards saying how many more questions he got right than a Harvard graduate. That doesn't sound like Mintz. We were on the same team, so I doesn't sound like Minsk. He usually keeps his... We were on the same team.

We were on the same team, so I didn't understand why that smoke was coming my way. Yeah, I think you're making this part up. Ben Minsk. He's bragging? There's no I in Minsk. He's bragging about something? There is an I in Francis, and he doesn't know that.

Yeah. Wait, pull up the blog, TJ. The title of the blog, Francis Ellis. Francis spelled F-R-I-N-C-E. Oh, here we go. Francis Norman, which is the feminine spelling of my name and something that I was bullied over my entire youth. So he just...

Also, mean move off the get from you, Francis, with that note at the top. All right, note, Francis has requested this blog go up unedited all that has been changed spoiler tag added i said to i said to nate because i read it in the back end and i was like please post this without editing it i might do a response blog to this uh but if you guys fix things then it won't be as funny and so by the, did I tell you guys that I was in a meeting and I found out that, like, 35% of the Yak fans are listening to the podcast? That's crazy high.

So you guys do a better job of reading stuff. I know. It's crazy. 35%? Yeah, the total number of people who listened to the Yak or consume it. It is always on the podcast charts. It's crazy. So we got to just remind,

I forgot to tell you guys that reminder to when we do these things like reading blogs, we should read them for the people at home. I want to hear Francis read this one though. I feel like this would be... Pull it up for the people who can read along. The other large percentage. So remember, there is a mandate on the blog now

of like be funny, be interesting. We're not going to blog. We're not going to blog. We're not going to post everything people write. Are you saying that this isn't funny? You'll see. Okay. Continue. Francis Ellis, spelled wrong.

Brandon's loving life right now. Dropped a bombshell at the beginning of the dozen trivia match between the big screaming honkers and your mom. And he posted the tweet. He spelled your name wrong the whole time. The whole blog. And there's a tweet in there with your name. The name's all over it.

The whole blog. Yeah, it's right there. Okay. All right. Here we go. He said that if he did not score at least two points in this match, he was retiring. There's a four-period ellipses in between. Scroll back up, TJ.

No, I think it was an ellipses. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. It was an ellipses, then he ended the sentence. And the next word should be capitalized francis we hardly knew you despite my what a joke great joke despite my internet in nola going out because of weather the match turned out to be wildly entertaining and down to the wire nothing new new to me. I thrive in chaos. Check it out here. Okay, a little pumping himself up.

He deserves that. Francis, no apostrophe, esteemed dozen career. It has to be Francis' esteemed dozen career. Ends after a whopping four matches. He was 71st of 73 in scoring, and clearly his heart was not in it. It's a pretty funny blog so far, just going to say that. Very factual. I don't blame him, to be honest. No one wants to replace a legend, and that is exactly what our former captain,

Coley Mick, was. Coley led the Honkers to the Season 1 championship before departing Barstool Sports in italics. After I blew the quarterfinals against frank and the frankettes despite his havad that might be intentional what could he could be doing the boston thing oh yeah there's no water okay all right he spelled it wrong francis e was never comfortable and the trivia world did not click for him replacing coacing Coley reminded me. Here's a joke. Replacing Coley reminded me of the Saints trying to replace Sean Payton. No one can fill those lofty shoes.

Okay. Lofty shoes. Lofty shoes. Shoes are. Very high shoes. Yeah. Shoes are always on the ground. It reminded him of that.

Holy shit. That's what it reminded him of. So now the question remains, where do what is left of the season one? Oh, from here. Robbie Fox and I are currently discussing all options. There are plenty of capable free agents available after the relegation tournament. The honkers are on the bubble of the dozen playoffs, and there is doubt a sense of urgency stay tuned an announcement is coming soon i thought he nailed that i mean what what is that it's a blog is that a blog everyone yeah did you call big cat yeah that

was a blog you wrote hundreds of hundreds of hundreds never that good blogs never that good bore the brunt of bringing this company from a candle flicker to the illustrious mash off the shoes oh no no no no you're doing it the wrong way i worked hard at blogging so one day someone could follow that is more talented than me like ben mince he stands on the shoulders yeah he is i i have done my job lofty shoes of dan katt i get i can step away because i know the blog is in good hands with blogs like that for mincey Oh, my God. I read this start to finish, and I felt ill. I felt queasy because I get five DMs a day of aspiring Barstool writers who send me their sample work, and all of it is better than this. No.

Francis, can we go back to Ben Mintz's blogger page? They will never sniff a job here. He's not a blogger, first and foremost. He's a content creator. Look at that little face. He put out his video from... The 2.0 in finance. I love that.

Graduated from Ole Miss with a 2.0 in finance. Respect. Okay. You get GPAs for subjects? I love Ben. I do love Ben. His, his,

Mintz's shoes have definitely accidentally ended up on a power line before. Not even on purpose. He had some lofty shoes. He's like, oh, whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Slipped on a fast banana peel. Yeah. Perfectly. On my shoes. The funniest part about this article is that, like, a week or two later, Robbie traded him.

Oh, the next day. The next day. Yeah. Robbie traded Mincy? Yeah. Vince didn't know it was coming, so those discussions he alluded to were pretty one-sided. Okay. Who'd he trade him to?

I don't know. So he got traded for... For Clemmer. Straight up. So he's on Castellani's team now. It's Vince, Castellani, and somebody else. And Clemmer and Robbie. It's his championship.

What did he take? Gia. Ring chasing? No, Robbie took Gia. That's Flux. Yeah, I'm saying Mintz is ring chasing right now. He's trying to get on a championship team. But he got traded.

Yeah, he didn't have anything. Did he ask for a trade? No, Robbie sprung it on him. Oh, damn. Robbie sits right by... There's probably a blog explaining his betrayal. I don't know. They're in the Star Wars crew. I think there was, but I don't... I can't read it. You don't want to read that one? No.

See if there's a blog. Yeah. What else has he done? Oh, yeah. There we go. We gotta read that one. Oh, wait. Which one? It was six hours later. It's six hours later. Same thumbnail. I feel betrayed by Robbie Fox if it doesn't trade. Same thumbnail? Okay. I'll read this.

Thank God I had that thumbnail in the chamber. I guess all good things must come to an end. After two and a half seasons as a member of the Big Screaming Honkers, Robbie Fox traded me to Team Flux for Chris freaking Clemmer. Wow. Not going to lie, this one stings pretty damn bad. Robbie and I won a The Season 1 championship. Yeah, that was kind of grammatically correct.

I thought there was a special bond we shared as a dozen champions, but apparently I was wrong. Robbie blew it up, man. Yeah. He blew up the whole thing. He knew. Yeah. And Robbie seems like such a nice guy, too.

Guess you never know about people. Wow. Robbie claimed the split was amicable. Well, that is news to me. Now I see why athletes feel so betrayed when they get let go and told they're no longer wanted. It sucks. But what's done is done.

Time to focus on the future as a member of Team Flux with Chris Castellini and Joey Camasta. I tried to acquire Chris to be the third honker when Coley left Barstool Sports. We could not pull it off. Italics, italics. Chris and I are close friends, and I look forward to carrying on the magic

from the Ole Miss College baseball title run last summer in Omaha. Joey Camasta's a great fit as our third member. He's such a flamboyant and fun character He's gay He also should excel in pop culture To compliment Chris and I In my sports knowledge well

He's gay Joey's also extremely popular which should play well For the live dozen events He's gay The Honkers came, saw, and conquered It was a glorious run I will never forget winning the season one title with Coley and Robbie, but we are on to team Flux now.

This, to me, it reads like a sixth grader's note home to his diary from summer camp. It's a summer camp note home. I got launched from the blob. I went very high. I landed in the water. I have made new friends. Chris Clemmer.

Sloppy Joe's for dinner. My tummy hurts. It's either that or it's an essay attempt from a student athlete on Last Chance U. I met a gay guy today. Surprisingly he was very nice. Where the English

teacher is standing over his shoulder. Yeah, and he's like, I'm going to do my best not to call him gay because that's mean. I'm going to call him flamboyant instead. Go to thesaurus.com. He's very flamboyant. Highlighting or italicizing Barstool Sports. Do you think that's AP?

Is that an AP style? Or what is that? Certainly not an AP style. Why did he do it in both? I think that's for titles. Reserved for titles of published work. Not the actual business. And books.

Books or plays, even. Don't you put a movie? I guess a movie would work, too. What do you put in quotes versus italicized? The name of an article or something. A quote would be like a song, work too. What do you put in quotes versus italicized? The name of an article or something. A quote would be like a song, I think. I don't think it matters. I think that's just for academic journals.

I don't fucking know. I'll tell you. Mincy blogs how he blogs. I kind of want to read another one. What did we miss? Brandon, do the NASCAR ad read. Let's find another Mincy blog. This Sunday, February 5th in the LA Coliseum, the Grand LA Coliseum, NASCAR ad read. Let's find another mincey. This Sunday, February 5th, in the L.A. Coliseum, the Grand L.A. Coliseum,

NASCAR is back. They're kicking off their 75th season. That's a lot of seasons. 75th season in L.A. at the Clash at the Coliseum, the Bush Light Clash, and it will happen this Sunday, February 5th at 5 p.m. Pacific. That's 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 Central, 6 Mountain. More than 20 of the best NASCAR Cup Series drivers will compete on the quarter-mile track, which is built in less than 50 days.

And, again, it's kicking off the 75th season. The Clash features a pre-race concert by NASCAR favorite Cypress Hill and a race break performance from Wiz Khalifa. Tune in to The Clash this Sunday, February 5th at 8 p.m. Eastern time. Wiz Khalifa. Yes. Tune in to The Cl time. It was Khalifa. Yeah. Yes. We're in the clash.

It's a very good race. NASCAR, they start their regular season with Daytona a couple of weeks, but they really start their year with this big event in LA. This is like a cultural event for NASCAR. Oh, yeah. Showpiece. A fun kickoff. It's a showpiece.

Showcase. Remember Casey Kane in the Great Clips car? Yeah. It was a nice car. I remember Casey Kane. I remember Rust Cain in the Great Clips car? Yeah. It was a nice car. I remember Casey Cain. I remember Rusty Wallace in the Miller Lite car. Do you? Yeah.

Sounds like you don't. Tony Stewart was Home Depot. Yes. NASCAR. Great. Jimmy Johnson was Napa? Or what the fuck was he? He was in like a blue...

Jeff Gordon was Tide. Tony Stewart was Home Depot. DuPont. DuPont. Did you say that already? Tony Stewart was Home Depot. And then he was Old Spice. And then he just like a blue. Jeff Gordon was tied. Tony Stewart was Home Depot. DuPont. DuPont. Did you say that already? Tony Stewart was Home Depot. And then he was Old Spice. And then he just had a guy.

Then he killed a guy. Yeah. Ah, yeah. Dale Earnhardt was GM. Yeah. Good Ranch or something. And then he's not here anymore. What happened to him?

Race. It was so sweet how for like fucking 20, 25 years after his death you could go into any gas station and buy like a three sticker yeah like a three magnet like he fucking lasted it wasn't for you can still do that north carolina right now really yeah like he was like a fucking cultural it's like going to venice beach and seeing like a bob marley poster like a bruce lee quote on the wall or something he meant so much culturally to a part of the sect of the country it was dope his name rang bells yeah I see the clash remember where you were do you see Sean O'Hara yesterday basically saying that it was like when Kennedy got shot or 9-11 about about

Brady yeah can you find that clip Jesus TJ? Jesus. Yeah. It's quite something. I have no idea where I was, and it just happened yesterday. Yeah. I don't know where I was. I don't know where Brady was. Yeah. How many times do you think he did it? So apparently he recorded that months ago.

Oh, no. Or something. He didn't record it yesterday. It was like he recorded it a while ago is what I saw. Weather was sunny that day or something? He's not in Florida right now. Oh, no. He recorded it a while ago is what is what i saw whether it was sunny that day or something he's not in florida right now oh no he recorded it on a beach which sounds delightful they only have beaches in florida the comment by by giselle hurt it broke my heart a bit really yeah what'd that bitch say it was just so uh so straightforward and emotionless.

It was probably Kevin Bonner. Like a farm handshake? That was Bonner. Who's that? Giselle. She used to work here. He works for Tom. He was Dave's assistant for a while.

He's a little too tall. He runs a lot of Tom Brady's social media, so whenever Tom Brady tweets at anyone here, we're like, well, you're just talking to Kevin Bonner. Good- looking guy. This was Giselle commenting on Brady's... He runs it all. He runs Giselle too, yeah. What did Giselle say?

I think it was just like, I wish you the best in this next chapter. Ah. Yeah, I wish you nothing but wonderful things in your coming chapter. Oh, that's nice. But that's it. That is what it is. It's just nice.

From his wife, ex-wife now. Well, they must hate each other. They got divorced fast. I think when you're that rich, you're just like, alright, you go your way, I go my way. Or they've hated each other for fucking eight years. Yeah, they didn't have to have a money fight because they both have their own money. Right, exactly.

Or it was just bad for a while. I just would have thought that maybe now that he's retired, They didn't have to have a money fight because they both have their own money. Right. Exactly. Or it was just bad for a while. Yeah. I just would have thought that maybe if he, now that he's retired, maybe there was a chance them to- Want to believe in true love. Reconcile. Yeah. Well, Ben Stiller and his wife, what's her name?

Brady Bunch. They were separated for like five years and then during COVID, they moved back together to be, so the kids could be together and they ended up falling in love again and they're together again oh that's sweet yeah happy about that there's hope that solved my feelings over the giselle comment yeah they'll probably get back together totally once she resigns i think giselle's already got her she's already mad karate guy yeah oh it's got to be the worst. That's tough. Karate guy. You've been taking karate lessons for the last 10 years.

Yeah. The fuck? She hasn't improved. I get attacked. You didn't do anything. Get his new only wonderful thing. By instinct, she just fucks the assaulter. I'm sorry.

That's nice. It's a nice breeze in his hair. You find the Sean O'Hara? I mean, what a ridiculous thing. This is a huge moment, not just for Tom Brady, not just for the NFL, but for all of us. Look, people remember where they were when JFK was assassinated. Remember where he was with 9-11.

Oh, my God. His first start was a week after 9-11. That's how long ago he's been playing. I came out in the same year as him, 2000, and he's still playing. 23 years. That's a long time. But I'm going to remember this. I'm going to remember who I'm with.

Kyle's going to remember he was in Vegas. You're going to remember where you were when Tom Brady announced his official retirement. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. You're only going to remember it because you're forcing everyone to remember it. I'm going to remember Sean O'Hara comparing it to 9-11. I remember exactly where I was.

Oh, sorry. The clip where we finish the Rube Goldberg machine and then play that. Oh, yeah. I'll never forget where I was when the crowd at Eminem rolled into Go Montana's Arms. Go Montana's Arms. Go Montana's Arms. Sorry. Go ahead. Did you ever have a moment as a kid where you were just like, I want to remember this moment, but it was insignificant?

Yes. I remember the guy's face when I was working at a corn store or something. He just was looking at a piece of corn. You were at a corn store? Working at a corn store? Right. It was a vegetable stand. Of course you were.

Was it just a maze? It was at a corn store. That's another word for it. I was getting sold at a corn store. No, it was like a vegetable stand in Ocean City, and it was like the corn section, all corn. And this guy was just assessing corn. I did say it wrong, but it was like he was looking at corn, and I just remember his face to this day perfectly. I remember how he furrowed his brow.

I was a wedding reception that had a beaded door hanger, and I was like, I'm going to remember this. Yeah. You did? Here I am. You guys got to try it. No, it's the best. It's awesome. It works.

Yeah, it works. Because every couple years, you're like, I wonder if I can remember that. And you do. I think I was like five. Really? Yeah. Like this shit. Now i'm mad at myself oh yeah you got well i mean you have tons of time to do it yeah do it later today all right

it has to be something super insignificant how was the summer of uh i guess i was 18 i think at a corn store i was at a corn store it was at at 34th Street in Ocean City, New Jersey. Fucking a corn store. I remember just seeing this guy's face. Could you draw his face? It was almost Simpsons character-esque. I'm not a good drawer, but I know exactly. We need to get a sketch artist in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I probably could make it perfect. It was fucking, dude, I can't forget this guy's face. Was it performative or natural? Very natural. I just caught him in the wild. Did anyone ever come into the corn store looking for other carbohydrates? I mean, there was other shit in there. That was the same summer I ate an onion like an apple, dude.

I was just bored at the corn store. And they had it all. It was a vegetable stand. Like zero from a hole? Yeah. They tried to make onions look refreshing. And it worked. It worked, dude.

Keep yellow spotted lizards away. I can corrobor spotted lizards away. I can corroborate this because we texted over the summer about this place because I was staying in Ocean City right by it. 34th Street.

Corn store? I would get corroborated. Yeah, Ron Farnath owned it. He was like this 90-year-old man. Corn store? Yeah.

I mean, you go to a corn store, you're not going to soon forget it. Was corn the majority of it though? A lot of tomatoes. Jersey corn, Jersey tomatoes. You remember his name?

Jersey corn? There's some names of people that I've never met that I remember. Oh, I'm this way with names. Yeah. There was a real stern manager at the Kroger that I grew up going to, and his name was Roy Porter, the hardest name to say in the world. Roy Porter. I always say Roy Poiter.

Say it real quick. Roy Porter. Roy Porter. Roy's a good name. I don't play reporter, but Roy. Oh, my God. Roy Porter. I always say Roy Poiter. Say it real quick. Roy Porter. It's Roy Porter. Roy's a good name. I play reporter, but Roy. Oh, my God. Roy Porter. Roy Porter.

Poiter. What names do you remember? It's all from wrestling, like names in schools. Like who? Like Sean Edmondson. It's cool. Cody Zechman from Montoursville, PA. Damn.

We had a guy in my hometown. His name was Poke Banana. He was in the phone book as Poke, P-O-K-E, Banana. That was his last name. And that was everybody. We would all prank call him. We all just had to call him. He's Poke Banana there, and he would answer.

He's probably been dead for 30 years. That might be the best name. Oh, wait, wait. Poke's probably been dead for 30 years. That might be the best name. Oh, wait, wait. Poke Banana? That's the best name. You had a corn store? This is going crazy. Where's the banana family from?

Poke Banana? Is it P-O-K-E or L-K? P-O-K-E. Poke Banana? Yeah, that was his last name. That's his surname. It was under B's. It was Banana. What town was he in? Is it like Latin? West Point, Mississippi. Banania. Jay, pull up the O last name. That's his surname. It was under B's. It was Banana.

What town was he in? Is it like Latin? West Point, Mississippi. Jay, pull up the obit. Let's leave a flower. I don't know. Yeah, Oak Banana's definitely dead. Yeah, this was 30 years ago, and he was old then.

Can we read his obituary? I don't know. I don't know if he could. I'll look it up. Who's this? I'm just getting banana pudding recipes. What the hell is this? That guy was very cool.

Who the fuck was that guy? Nick in three years. He works here. He must work here. I'll have to look. Oh, they're jacked. A lot of pliables. I doubt his obit was online because he probably died in 1990.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be poke. Oh, the fish. I want to get some fish. Now I need to find. Can you add the word obituary? Yeah. And put poke banana in quotes.

Make it italic. It's a name. I'm not making this up. I believe you. Give me some more information. I'm talking to myself. I'm going to find him. I remember Rion Yalom in Chile.

Whoa. I told him he was wearing FUBU shoes one day, but he wasn't black. I'll text Matt Warren. I told him, aren't those only for black people? And then he told on me. But the teacher tried to get mad at me, but I actually felt like I was protecting black culture. Yeah, you were an ally. For them, though, you're a gatekeeper on the outside, not the inside.

And it is a little in the name. For us, by us. Right there. He was not us. Daymond John. Yeah. But us is such a nebulous term, is what Damon John's out must have been. Wow.

You know. What's his name? Rian Amon. Rian Yalaman Chili. And was he white? No. Indian. So he kind of.

I don't know that us. No, he gets to do that. Rian Yalaman Chili. I texted Matt Warren. He never lies. We'll see what he says. No, he gets to do that. I texted Matt Warren. He never lies. We'll see what he says. I think David John said okay for. I don't want to go through people's obituaries.

Oh, look. Oh, there you go. No way. A banana. Holy fuck. Holy shit. The late poke banana. The late poke banana.

Oh, my God. He wasn't punctual. That's his real name. Oh, my God. He wasn't punctual. That's his real name. Yeah, that was. Oh, so he died before 1992. Yeah, it was a long time. It was way back when we were kids. Poke Banana is real?

Poke Banana and I were never on this earth at the same time. That sucks. Back in the 80s. And he would be in the phone book. He was in the phone book. Poke Banana. Poke Banana. Poke Banana. Poke Banana.

Poke Banana. What a name. Can we dig deeper? I want to see. I didn't ask about as deep as you're going to, I'm surprised you found it. I want to see. That was perfect.

Seeing that in an official like document. Poke Banana. The late Poke Banana is remembered by the rest of the banana. Survived. The banana bunch.

I think that might be the hardest I've ever laughed. Oh, my God. Matt Warren didn't remember. Oh, wait. I found something else. Oh, shit. I'll ask Alan Brown. Hold on.

TJ, I'm going to send you this. This could be interesting. Please don't embarrass my hometown. No, no, no. I'm not. I'm not, but this Hold on TJ I'm going to send you this. This could be interesting. Please don't embarrass my hometown. No no no I'm not I'm not but this is TJ look what I found. I think we even corroborated it more. Yeah here it is. Here it is. Yeah yeah. Alright so the first semester of third grade was

memorable in the development of our friendship. We particularly enjoyed the additional subjects of Ms. Henderson's class. Oh Westwood 2 and Westwood 3. This is West Point. As the holidays approached my excitement for my first spend the night birthday party grew. Kevin and I talked eagerly about going bowling before staying up all night to swap ghost stories with our friends. There would definitely be

prank calls made to the household of one Poke Banana. True name. Yeah. And woe to the first kid that fell asleep. Oh my God! That's what we did! We would spend the night with each other. We would prank call Poke Banana. How would he answer? We would prank call Poke Banana. Oh, he God. That's what we did. We spent the night with each other. Prank call, poke banana. How would he answer?

Prank call, poke banana. Oh, he'd be mad. I mean, he got prank called by everyone. He'd be mad as hell. What was that? It was a live profile. It was like, Dan, what's that? What was that?

I don't know. That's definitely not Ben Mintz writing. I don't know who Andy Blake is. Unbelievable. I like how you think you're going to know everybody that called Pokebanana. Outside of elementary, that's where I went. They had a residence. This is he.

Oh, not again. Speaking. Oh, my God. Holy fuck. Oh, man. What vindication. Holy shit. Oh, man. What vindication. Holy shit. Another guy.

Not Bucky Cox will know. Mario will know. Dude, I feel like I have a whole group of friends that, like, our sense of humor is just finding funny names. No, names do it the best. Poke Banana is the funniest one I've ever heard. It's way up here. That's incredible. I've never heard anything close to this.

You've got to use it as your fake name. I'm texting people right now. I didn't know I remembered it until you guys told me. I'm just kind of a guy named Poke Banana. Poke Banana. He just lived a tortured life. Oh, I think he was like a 78-year-old man at that point. The crazy part, Banana is the supporting actor of me.

There were other Bananas. Poke Banana. There was a whole family of Bananas, you have to presume. Yeah, a whole bunch. Oh, my God. Poke Banana. Unbelievable. Oh, my God, dude.

We didn't have a big phone book, so it was easy to find. In the beginning. I wonder just how word went around. It was one thing we passed as students to each other. Have you ever called Poke Banana? I'm obsessed with Poke Banana. I want to see him. I want to see a picture.

So bad. Have you ever called Poke Banana? I don't want. Yeah, it's going to feel racist. Was he married? Did he have kids? He's a black man. Oh.

But he was old. He was old. man. Oh. But he was old. He was old. Okay. I was not envisioning that. Okay. It's not funny anymore. Black banana. Am I hometown?

No, I'm just kidding. I'm hometown. Bread. Oak banana. Oak banana. You're sitting on his porch. Yeah. Having to get up every five minutes because some kid's calling.

Reps scaling. He lived over around Zuber Park. You don't know. Prank calling some kid's calling. Reps. He lived over around Zuber Park. You all know. Prank calling is so fucking fun. It is. It gives me insane anxiety when I'm watching. That's basically what we were,

when we called Frank Sinatra or Joe Sinatra, we were just looking for a good name. We found a good name and we called him up. We were looking for a car. I'm trying to buy my car.

That's true, but that was the one we settled on. There were probably a lot of people that we could have called. Correct, yeah. The fact that he had a good name made him worth calling. Missed Joe Sinatra. What was the plan when Poke picked up?

Just giggle and hang up? Giggle and hang up, yeah. That's all you needed. Your refrigerator running type of thing. Poke Banana. That LinkedIn find was crazy. Yeah, that was a pure corroboration it was like if someone else had gone to the corn store

i remember uh getting yelled at by a guy at um a gardening store because i was climbing on top of the big bags of soil and i was up probably eight to ten feet. And some guy just didn't even work there. He's going out to his car. What were you doing? Looking for hoes? I was just excited to climb. And he looked up and he goes, what are you doing up there?

You know you can't be up there. Get down. No. No. And I came down. And I was so ashamed. And I ashamed, and it's never left me. A stranger shamed you? Yeah.

That's some fucking like 50s, 60s shit where you would just like smack a stranger's kid. Like, quit fucking around. Just beat the fuck out of a stranger's child. Yeah. The Slap, the show that was like. Yeah. Remember the Slap? Yes.

I had a woman yell at me in the mall one time when I was about 12. I was sitting on a bench, and she came over. She was smoking a cigarette, and I just coughed. And she said, if you don't want to smell cigarettes, don't sit by the ashtray, sweetheart. Oh. Gotcha. My mom got pissed. At her or at you?

At her. I miss parents smoking cigarettes. Me too. I miss smoking cigarettes in malls and in public. I don't smoke them, but they're fine being out there. Whatever. My dad, he would smoke Marlboro Reds in his old Ford F-150 with the windows up. And I'd be in there like, I love secondhand smoke to this day.

I smoke. I had a shitty place of firsthand smoke. I do. I had a good friend whose dad used to drive us around and he would not roll down the windows. He'd just be smoking the whole time. Fucking loved it. Badass. It was badass.

Very cool thing. Did you performatively cough on purpose to be like... Was there actually smoke in your lungs? I think I was putting on a little bit. Oh, damn. I think I was being that little dick bag. Ew! Oh!

Yeah, one of them. Poke banana. I just tweeted just poke banana. You just tweeted it? Just poke banana. It might go viral. Just like there once was a man named Poke Banana. I can't believe Matt Warren doesn't remember.

He never lies. He's been corroborated, I know. There's corroboration. I'm sharing this with you guys but I want to share it with somebody that I used to do it with you gotta reach out to this guy on LinkedIn and say poke banana

if you reach the bananas it's weird we're not home right now we had to split amazing really amazing it was weird because there were no other bananas just him Amazing Really amazing It was weird because there were no other bananas Just him

There had to be other bananas You don't think he He had a daughter Maybe it was a stage name For what? The phone book? It's my phone book name Imagine if he like Lost a bet When he was like

15 years old Like now you're Pokebanana Like Stinky Tony Yeah You know what I mean Like Stinky Tony's Gonna be in the phone book

Someday as Stinky Tony Definitely And some people Are just gonna be Neighborhood kids Are gonna be calling him A Pokebanana's Old as fuck

Yes Yeah real old What do you mean He had to have been In his 80s When you were calling him Yeah Yeah it was really Probably cruel What we mean? He had to have been in his 80s when you were calling him. Yeah. Yeah, it was really probably cruel what we were doing.

He liked it. He liked it. I think he even had a phone his whole life. He probably got a phone excited to be like, I'll be able to connect with people. Tell me I just put my name in a phone book. It was the day he died. Right there.

The day it all ended. What if he's just like a prolific, innovative pedophile looking for warm leads? Jesus. Why? Why? Not poke. It's a strange collection of words you put together. You ruined that one.

Whoa. I'm going to wash that one off. What the hell? Oh, yeah. Okay. Alan Brown, my teacher friend, said, hell yeah, I prank called that motherfucker all the time. Oh, man. What is he teaching?

Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Is the Banana family still around? No. Yeah, his daughter died. I don't remember. That was his daughter's obituary. Oh.

I mean, in marriage, I would assume you're ready to get out of. Yeah, Ruth Graves That's an ironic last name Yeah, fuck I'm uncomfortable now Why? We're not speaking ill of them, we're venerating them Only Steven did

Yeah, that was crazy That old dead pedophile He has no chance to defend himself He also said what if. He didn't accuse him of it. He said what if. It's true. He said what if.

Yes, but it was so damning. Why would your mind even go that direction? My mind went there after he said it. Yeah, exactly. He took us there. Makes sense. What if he was an awesome pedophile? Yeah, what if he was the sickest pedophile?

Prolific pedophile. Banana. You want to do the high noon ad read, Brandon? Why are you at me all the time now? I like when you read it. I got you, brother. Brandon, I'm going to pick you up, Brandon, because I like high noon. I like high noon myself.

I don't mind talking about it. I enjoy high noon. No, I love talking about it. I love the peach. I'm going to mess around here. The peach is really good. Yeah. Is that your one?

I think so. The lime is also great. I like the watermelon as well. High noons are such an underrated ingredient to put into a mixed drink because you know that they have a clean enough taste that you'll be able to not sully the rest of the mixed drink. There's not a bunch of malt in there. In fact, you can infuse flavor,

whether you're adding classic spirit ingredients, some hard alcohol perhaps, maybe just with a tonic water or something like that. But high nudes can be the base of just an incredible drinking experience. They have full-time flavors like pineapple, black cherry, watermelon, grapefruit. They can be great flavors and great ingredients only 100 calories gluten-free no added sugar and it's made with vodka not malt like all the other hard seltzers so look for them on drizzly at your local convenience store or liquor store or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you so um high noon is delicious tj i have an update from alan brown he said i actually met that family.

I met the banana family when I was delivering for the drugstore in my 20s. Nice people. The banana fam. Of course they're nice. How could you not be nice? You're a banana. Why is that happening so much? Why is there not a top on there?

It's driving me fucking insane. I get splashed every other episode. He does this every day. He opens a watermelon and throws the cap on the floor. Yeah, he just throws the cap. Where is the cap? Do you know where the cap is? The craziest thing he does.

So you mentioned the pharmacist? Yeah. And this is what, 1920s? How old do you think I am? No, this is Polk's era. Well, this was like 1980s, 1990s. Oh, sorry. Me and Alan, he would have been working at the drugstore in like 97, 98, 99, something like that.

Wait, no. Polk died, though. But that's when we were grown as kids in the 80s, he was still alive. Got it. Polk. And he was a pharmacist? Banana. No, he delivered, he drove the Red Rose drug truck around town to deliver the medicine to older people.

Oh. Yeah. Late in his life. No, not him. Alan did. I thought Alan taught special ed. He does now. Back then, he delivered for Rose Drug.

Right there. No. You're following the story super closely, too. Trying. My Aunt Gail owns part of Rose Drug. She does? How much? A third. I think they just sold it. I think they probably just sold it. Two thirds.

Oh, Andy and I don't know how much Connie owns. But anyway. So your family's Big Pharma. No. Our Red Herring. She's an old miss. Aims to remember for no reason.

We got to stay focused on poke bananas. Where did poke bananas stay? Zuber Park? I think he lived in the neighborhood around Zuber Park. He lived in B-Town, I believe. There's an estimated 149 bananas in the United States. That's unbelievable. We got to call a banana.

They're very rare. We got to call a banana. How many pokes are there? That's a great question. I don't know. So I was sitting on this, but there was a kid in my high school whose name, last name is Nana. Nana? Nana, and his first name is Benjamin. Ben Nana. Oh

no! He was a very nice kid. Ben Nana, that's tough. That's a mean parent. That's like a, either asshole parent, like a donor parent. That's like either asshole parent. Dumb. Donor parent. Because I used to deliver pizzas with a girl named Crystal Neff.

What? Was she named before? She was probably like, I was in college. She was probably 25. So she was probably just like a little bit older than college age. She couldn't tell because she was very thin. I don't know. I went to college with Ben Gazi,

and he builds these giant sculptures of giants in the woods. He's very good. Very good sculptor. That's his Instagram. It's probably just Ben Gazi, but he makes these really large sculptures in the middle of the woods. Damn, bro. Hillary sculptures?

Left them there. Yeah. That bitch Crystal Neff Yeah that's Brutal Yeah that's so tough And she I mean

Yeah I don't want to say That she looked like She was No So I'm not going to say that I feel like Every girl I knew Back then named Crystal

Crystals and Ambers Had it rough Yeah There was a lot of them Christina's Back in the day They must have had My Tiffany's did well Gemstone There There was a lot of them. Christina's. Back in the day. They must have had Tiffany's did well.

Gemstone. There's not a lot of Tiffany's. Not anymore. Elle died out. Yeah. Huh. Padish is like the last of the last of the Tiffany's.

Are Melissa's on the way out too? I feel like Melissa's still play. Irish neighborhoods. Jennifer's. I feel like we're moved on past Jennifer. I think it was like a 90s-ass name. Just older now.

I associate the name Jennifer with bangs. I feel like Jennifer's had bangs. Yep. I think family ties. Mallory and Alex B. Keaton and Jennifer. They're still methany. That wasn't her, though. That's a whole other...

Oh, no. Rested in poke banana. Free her. Connected all. You think we could make poke banana shirts? No. Why? What if it's somebody in my hometown?

What if they have bad memories of them? I don't know. If they come forward, we'll donate the proceeds from the poke banana shirts. His kids are dead, dude. What about just like a Mickey Mouse hand poking a banana and there's no words on it? Do you know that you can't legally defame a dead person? What?

The defamation laws no longer hold up once the person dies. So if somebody's suing you for that, you just got to... Well, sure, then that gets risky. So we're good to go on Poke Banana then? And we haven't said anything negative. You've kind of had this negative connotation. They have to be tastefully done. What were you talking about on those prank calls?

We were just giggling. We were kids too. You didn't know no better. Are you sure? Just following orders, huh? That's what you did. We did like a poke banana 5k and made the proceeds from that.

How many people are going to run a yak 5k? And mints. You can eat a fast banana for each mile. You could do a banana eating contest. Right. Some kind of thing. An event poke banana shirt. That would be nice. We don't have to do a thing for this day.

No. We add poke banana to the wheel? What does that mean? You poke a banana. Yeah, you poke a banana. Is there any bananas left? You just poke a banana, yeah. Contact a banana, are you saying?

Call a banana. You have to do the whole episode With your finger in a banana That's good too Yeah Would you get pruney From your finger in a banana We'll find out

We'll find out Not having any traps or something Oh his eye Pink eye Yeah He's got it again by the way Yeah he's got banana eye He does

So he put a banana in his eye He made a face mask Out of bananas And then his eye got very infected And now it's banana What number is that? 1,349 bananas. That's the ranking.

Yeah, 149 bananas. None of them are named Poke. Add it to the wheel. Let's spin the wheel. Add Poke Banana to the wheel. Poke Banana. I'm trying to think of anything in the same realm. I knew a wrestler named Wink Charles,

but that's not even close. I feel bad for that dude. Everyone in town called him on the regular. Oh my god, you know they were racist as hell. There was never a race element. Really? You sure? That's what I'd like to tell them.

You're just calling a black man named Banana. There was no racism. Yeah, nothing. Right, Brandon? I don't know that we knew. Yeah, we knew, I guess. I don't know. My dad knew a dude named Bo Hammer, which is a pretty good one, but it ain't a Poke Banana. Poke Banana clears it all.

Someone replied to my Poke Banana tweet with a name, a guy's Facebook page, Barry Boner. No, I don't. No. You don't think it's real? No, once there's like sex jokes in it, no. It's just perfect.

None of it makes sense. Poke banana. Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah. Give a writer's room days they're not coming up with poke banana. The fact that it's K-E-2. It's beautiful. Look at it typed out.

All right. Spin it. Oh, it would have been great if we got poke banana. Poke banana. Can't wait for that. I hope it happens in like five months and they have no idea what we're talking about. What the fuck is poke banana? I'll remember where I was.

I'll remember where I was. I definitely will. Poke banana. Holy fuck. That was stimulating. That tickled me pink. Wow. Yeah. There's no better name.

Yeah. It's hard to think of a better one. It's hard to think. It's hard to think after you get put in. You almost have a random name generator that somehow you get lucky. I have a thought. Have you guys seen the Christmas

classic, It's a Wonderful Life? Yes. Everyone? I have not. I have not either. So, this occurred to me the other day. I watch it almost every Christmas. I love that movie. But that movie was made in, I don't know, maybe the 1940s or something like that.

Black and white. And when he goes back in time, or he does his glimpse of what his life would look like, the world would look like if he had never existed. It's meant to show all the horrible things that he his life changed that and and it starts with the fact that his brother is dead because he fell through the ice because he never because george bailey never got to save his brother and then as a result of that his brother never saved all those soldiers on that platoon or whatever because that's what he did in World War II and he was a war hero. And then the pharmacist

kills the kid because George Bailey as a boy caught the pharmacist from poisoning that kid. And that pharmacist goes to prison for many years and is like a total homeless person. So those are two horrible things right and then his mom is like some angry bitch who runs a boarding house and then the worst thing of all is his wife she is an old maid she never married married. Hans Love, yeah. No, that's awesome.

Yeah, I would be hyped. Right? That's awesome. That'd be exactly, yeah. That's exactly right. That's beer. He's like, you're not gonna, he goes, Clarence goes, you're not gonna like it, George.

She's an old maid. She never married. And then they go, sweet. It's like a fantasy. Really? Yeah. And there's two things at play there that I found interesting. One, that the worst thing

that they could have come up for in that time to happen to a woman it's not to get down not get married yeah and that too for george that he would be that that would be a horrible thing for him to learn whereas i feel like if i were to see a glimpse of my life where I hadn't existed, to find out that all these years later my wife married Ben Mintz. Never got married. She still has her hymen. Ooh! That is hilarious. Have you ever seen the butterfly effect with Ashton Kutcher?

Oh, yeah. Doesn't he kill himself as an unborn child with the umbilical cord? There was two endings. That was one of the old endings. He's just like, oh, things would have been better as a baby. That movie's crazy. Wow. That movie was nuts.

What the fuck? Interesting. Yeah, It's a Wonderful Life. That movie is so negative and dark for such a happy, fun title. It's just seeing all this shitty stuff going on. That sucks. Yeah, but you often forget, if you haven't seen it recently, that that whole glimpse part of the movie,

which is what everyone remembers, only lasts for about 15 minutes. The rest of the movie is like hours of setup for that. Yeah, they used to make movies slowly. Very slow. Nothing used to happen in old movies. Even like the most critically acclaimed movies of all time. Like fucking Chinatown and fucking Rear Window.

Have you seen all those? Do you watch old classics? Yeah, I've tried. Some of them just don't. Some of them just nothing happens. Rear window. I liked Hitchcock movies. Man Who Knew Too Little and

The Birds, I remember watching. Huh. Hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poke Banana. Yeah, it's... The whole time you were talking, Francis, I was like, Poke Banana, Poke Banana.

You can't even riff on poke banana Because that's the funniest thing that will come I was trying to think if like They remarried with a hyphenated name What would be No Pudding family Doesn't matter

There's poke banana pudding That's a real thing You poke the dish You pour the banana pudding in No kidding Yeah Wow Find the recipes online

Poke banana Damn bro I feel like that's That like It's just hard to No kidding. Yeah. Wow. Find the recipes online. Poke banana. Damn, bro. I feel like that's that like it's just hard to it's hard to get past it. It's hard to top it. Yeah. It's going to ruin the rest of my day. You can't think anymore.

Ron was right. Like creative ability out the window because you know that's out there. You can see why we called him as kids. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I got to get her. I tried to kidnap. I'll do his voice again.

I never did. He did the voice of him picking up the phone. Oh, this is he. That's a good impression. Is your he doesn't

even probably didn't have a hell no icebox. Do you have do you have your bill tongs salted have an icebox 80s. Heiltong salted? Do you have an ice box?

He had a refrigerator. You curing any meat? The first prank phone calls must have been exhilarating. Oh, yeah. Historically, the first ones. How long do you think into the invention of the telephone were people making a mockery? Had to be one of the first ones. Yes.

First week? Ahoy. Isn't that how they wanted to answer that? I saw that. Is that fact real? Where somebody wanted to say ahoy and somebody wanted to say hello? Ahoy, ahoy. And they went with hello?

I think so, yeah. So we could be saying ahoy? Ahoy. Ahoy. Ahoy, ahoy. I like that. Oh. It's like on The Simpsons, whenever Mr. Burns would answer the phone, he'd be like, ahoy, ahoy.

Yeah. And hang up and say ahoy. It's kind of sweet. Hello is good. I can't believe hello only came from phones. How do other races pick up the phone? I don't know if they're saying hello like the white people. I don't know if they're dealing with the standard hello.

I think the question mark hello died with caller ID. I'm trying to picture it. White people say hello. I'm just trying to see. You say you're on the mic, what's your beef? That was TV. You said a black person's never said.

What did I say? Oh, fuck. What's the word? What did I say? Oh, fuck. What was it? It was a word that you thought. There's no. Whitest word? Yeah, what's the whitest word? Malarkey?

Distraught? Someone once told me that distraught was a very white word. A white word? I feel distraught. Malarkey's a pretty good one. Is it a type of cheese? It was a food product. Yeah, it was a type of cheese, I think.

Think of what? Brie cheese? No. Kiwi? Oh, you said Kiwi was a one. I don't know. Kiwi? No, that's tropical.

I don't know if they say hello. Someone try. Oh, they do. I bet you they won't, whoever it is. I can call my Bucky Cox right now. Is he going to say hello? He might say what's up. Old heads will maybe.

Oh, okay. But. Yo. Wow, there you go. I almost got excited. Yeah. All right. Myth busted.

Did you just call someone and hang up? That was Zah. I called Zah. Oh. All right. Myth busted. Did you just call someone and hang up? That was Zah. I called Zah. Oh. Sitting right there. Smart. Smart. Oak banana.

I looked up the earliest prank calls and the earliest documented ones in the U.S. was 1884 in Rhode Island. People used to call the undertaker and be like, so-and-so's dead. Bring the freezer. Oh, shit. And then random houses. They were like swatting them, but with the Undertaker. And then the Undertaker

would show up with all his shit and the family would be like, what? Yeah, the Undertaker would show up a day and a half later. Having gone 400 yards with his horse. Immense amount of effort. On Bucky Cox? On a black person. Bucky Cox?

Not Bucky Cox. Calling not B calling not bucky yeah what do they uh his name's mario he's not answering this didn't work out at all so how do how do um how does the undertaker confirm it now like do they need photo evidence like oh yeah prove Oh, yeah? Prove it. Yeah, yeah. They're scarred now.

They're dead, huh? That's a good question. I don't know. So we could maybe call an Undertaker. I guess it's like falsely calling 911, just asking for an ambulance. It's got to be such a crazy life to be a funeral director or someone. Just always being around the saddest people on earth. But it's like it's so work-like for you that it doesn't really affect you.

Yeah, I know. You're just like pretty cheery. They make good livings, though. And, yeah, it's very necessary. Yeah, remember my boy we used to call my boy who was involved, folks? Hmm. They just always have to be somber. Yeah, but he's pretty cheery. He's like one of the most positive and like even keel dudes i know yeah can you summon somber if you need it

you're not actually sad but you can appear sad he's just all in your clothes i think a lot of things are in your clothes like just wearing like if you're just sitting at a desk in a suit people will be like you're like you have some authority or your life's put together. When you could just be on drugs. There's a lot of shaking hands with two hands, too. Yeah. This cask is going to cost $16,000. I think slower mannerisms, too.

Yeah, just deliberately slow. I go like this. It seems a little more. A little bow in your head. Walking people, putting your hand on their back as they walk out of the room. Small of their back. Hands behind your back is also a move too. Yeah, just

always nodding slowly, looking down a lot. And fucking so many dead people. There's gotta be part of it. Or just at least putting your sandwich down. Just poking them. Like in Gone in 60 Seconds. Remember in Gone in 60 Seconds when he calls up the one dude who puts the sandwich down? The big funeral home in my town has really beautiful gardens outside of it and it's right

across the park um they have an interest i forget the name of it but it's like a weird name too um but they always hide toy dinosaurs all over the plants and everything like it's like a little magical world and so there'll be all the people out front you know when the weather's nice or whatever and i have to take my son the opposite way so he doesn't go running through to look for all the dinosaurs and like but i've dm'd with him i said your dinosaurs are great and he said stop by sometime maybe yeah nope yeah no not what's their instagram page like they do they have like an instagram page and everything and they not to keep the kids busy while everybody else is morning i think so yeah that's pretty genius what if what if at a funeral home they're like, to really know that the guy's dead, they go poke the banana?

Yeah, that's what they'd have to do. Did you go poke the banana to see if he's dead? He gets rock hard. Yeah, it's like if you poke the banana and he doesn't move, then he's dead. But he poked that banana. Yeah. He starts giggling. He might be alive.

Yeah, before we touch up his face, did you poke the banana? He's dead. Explain that hard cock. Oh, Calhoun Mania is what it's called. Whoa. There's a funeral home with mania in them? And they hide toy dinosaurs? Yes.

That's awesome. Are you burying loved ones at an arcade? Calhoun Mania. It's a water park. Yeah. Cal Hoon Mania. It's beautiful. Come on down. Kid seats are still

just five bucks. Hoon Mania. That's like the first version of Westworld. Mania. They're very nice. Yeah, Mania doesn't really go with. Why'd they call it that? Look at that. Cal Hoon Mania They're very nice Yeah mania doesn't really go with

Why'd they call it that Look at that Calhoun Mania funeral home I want to be buried there Calhoun Mania for a funeral home I'm in on this They're all called like everlasting garden They're lovely Nothing is close to Calhoun Mania

Those bushes are full of dinosaurs Somebody's last name is Mania Dude I want to be buried at Calhoun Mania. Those bushes are full of dinosaurs. Somebody's last name is Mania. Dude, I want to be buried at Calhoun Mania. That's a little clever. We're going to Calhoun Mania. In the car, kids. Nana died.

We're going to Calhoun Mania. Calhoun Mania. I mean, they're putting toys in the garden. They're Calhoun. Calhoun. Calhoun Mania. I mean, they're putting toys in the garden. Calhoun! Calhoun! Calhoun! Oh, it's so funny. That's like the most debaucherous sounding name. Calhoun.

Barry Poop Banana down in Calhoun, Calhoun County. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Oh, man. Calhoun Mania. I want to cough and get two free. I can't believe there's that coffin buying section. Yeah. Like a showroom.

I think like a clown pops out, too, at Calhoun Mania. It just takes your picture as you're going up to see the body. It's just candy starts flying out. That's literally a bwanasaurus. It's up there with Pokebanana. It really is like up there. I can't believe they

like. I can't believe Mania insisted on having their name in there. Like Calhoun and Mania like you couldn't just cede to Calhoun's Calhoun's funeral home kind of. Also if you say Mania Calhoun it's just a totally different name in there. Like Calhoun and Mania. You couldn't just cede to Calhoun's funeral home. Also, if you say Mania Calhoun,

it's just a totally different name. Yeah. It doesn't do anything. Calhoun. All right, you can be in it, but I'm going first. We're putting Calhoun first. Hope Banana live at Calhoun. Oh, man.

Calhoun Mania. DJ, put this up. Fuck. I got to go to a meeting In a minute Fuck I gotta do the rundown Oh I do too

So does Kyle And with this shirt I mean we gotta We haven't We haven't We did spin the wheel We did Spin the wheel

We did our ads We spun the wheel We laughed We cried Calhoun mania Banana Calhoun mania Didn't get the respect

It deserves Cause this is The poke banana The Calhoun Mania didn't get the respect it deserves because it was the Poke Banana episode. Calhoun Mania. What a place to die. That's their tagline. What a place to die. Look at this. I got a solid Poke Banana.

That's one of the ones that are pretty easy to explain to people. What is your shirt? Walt Disney's going to come for us. Bob Iger's going to come for us. Or it's just going to be the next Pixar movie. Look at that. It's a great shirt. We've got to put it on.

Yeah, let's put it up. We've got to make it in one of those pillows where you can, when you wipe across the poke goes in. Into the banana. Is it going to be on a black shirt or a white shirt?

I think black. It'll really pop. Let's just do it real small on the shirt. Real elegant and small. The size of your little word on yours. Refined?

It's a simple poke banana. A refined poke banana shirt. It might be a big brand. These Saturdays are for the boys. Now we got poke banana. Like stitched onto a collared shirt. In cursive. It might be dope.

Yeah. It really might be dope. Holy fuck. Good times, gang. Can I show you something shocking? Yes. Yes, please. This is what a real man looks like. Ready? What? Gang and show you something shocking yes, yes, please

Hell yes, oh Holy he can't keep getting away with these wins. Oh man his belly button looks like his face They put that why did she put her mouth there? I gave brain one of those during the case. She avoided the hair, so she went right to the left of the... To the side. That is quite the line. That's quite the hairline. That's a man's man.

That is a man's guy. Good man. All right. See everyone tomorrow. Who's here? I'm not. I am. I am.

I am. Should I bring in the dog tomorrow? Yes, you're welcome to come on. Yes! Yes! Ooh. That'll be fun. Is tomorrow or Monday obscure reference shirt day?

Monday. Monday in Arizona. Steven, are you out tomorrow? It's your birthday. No, I'm here. Let's go, Steven. We were debating. Are we drinking?

Let's get sake. We were debating doing a six-pack race. Okay. Can we do it really's get sake. We were debating doing a six-pack race. Okay. Can we sit-ups? Do it really early? What do you mean? I thought to drive at like four. Perfect.

We'll do it at one. Is that enough time? No, that's perfect. No, it is because. Four beers would wear off. Two beers, you're good to drive. Yeah. Is that true?

No. It's a beer an hour. So you drink six and then you're going to get two and that'll get it's a beer an hour so you drink six and then you're gonna get two and that'll get you down to a 0.8 because it's 0.02 and you don't have to win the race you could just drink two or three four i don't have to each one maybe six to drive it's your birthday whatever you want to do on your birthday we can get some fun i'll drink responsibly why don't we get you an uber i have i have to like drive my kids. That'd be fun for them. Calhoun Mania.

He even takes his whole family there. He's going to jump. Six-pack race. Ride Calhoun Mania today. Oh, man. We'll be you next time.