The Yak - Roll-Up Day Turns Into An Absolute Whirlwind | The Yak 12-15-23

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Yo, pull upYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Use promo code YAK15 to get 15% off your order. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly. It's the YAK. It's the YAK. Get your draw out, YAK. Yo, TJ, hold that up. It's the YAK. It's the YAK. Hello. Yo, TJ, hold that up.

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Yeah. Of course. Yeah, why? Oh, he said no. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm ready. I got hitters. I do need to buy the fruit roll-ups.

There's fruit roll-ups in the kitchen. Actually? Yeah. How many? Like a box, but we could also just... We all have diehard homies. They'll roll up. Oh, yeah.

All right, hit it. Roll up, roll up. Woo-hoo! Oh, before you do that, I actually have a gift for KB. Oh, cool. I got him this for KB. Jesus, I left it here. This KB. Oh, cool. I got him this. Oh, Jesus. I left it here.

This is going to be a problem. There's no worse feeling than getting someone a gift and then seeing it in the same spot the next day. But understand. Yeah. That's just my forgetfulness. Yes. I was not offended. Not a lack of appreciation.

This will be going on the wall. All right. So it's roll up, roll up, roll up. I think it is. Do we actually have, roll up? I think it is. Do we actually have fruit roll ups? I think I saw some in the kitchen over there. Want me to go take a peek? I'm not doing that.

That's the last thing I'll do. That's a lot of sugar. You can roll. You can roll. I would roll before that many fruit rolls. I think if it lands on me, I'm just going to start rolling. Yeah. I don't know who I'm going to call.

You got to have shooters, man. There's nobody that can get here in 15 minutes. Dude, I got the cream team out. You got the cream team? It's going to be great because we'll just have an extra special guest here for the rest of the day. Yeah. Some random guy.

I would love that. That's supposed to be at work. Yeah. Steven, I do want Steven Chait to lose this. Just literally put a picture and picture of him rolling up and down the court for the rest of the day. If we don't have fruit roll-ups, I can get some. Order. Go ahead.

Yeah, I'm going to order some more. What's the harm? Yeah. TJ, are you ready? Elimination wheel? I'm spinning a wheel, and whoever lands on... Has 15 minutes. And if they don't have a homie roll up then?

They have to do a combination of 100 rolls on the court or fruit rolls. It's 100. Okay. I didn't know if there was a number. Let's say 50 because 100 seems like maybe it's too much. I think the body would become very bruised. Yeah, we'll say 50. I'll say 50.

I think 50 is a big number, but not a number. Down once is one. Okay. I think that's fair. 50. Because then you could also eat 20 roll-ups. I actually will say too, we'll go 50,

but the only rule is you have to have at least 10 roll-ups. Fruit roll-ups? No, just 10 roll-ups. That's joints as well. I'm confused. Too many roll-ups. You have to have 10 roll-ups?

At least. If you're doing 50. Che, can you roll up the court just to see what it does to the body? See if you can do it straight? It's going to hurt. You have to have at least 10 fruit roll-ups. You have to eat 10 fruit roll-ups. And then you can do 40 roll-ups. Or you could do one of them straight it's gonna hurt you have to have at least 10 fruit roll-ups you have to eat 10 fruit rolls and then you can do 40 or you could do more fruit well you could eat more che do we have them or do i have to eat or go in order

all right elimination okay say the dude comes for whoever it is what is he just gonna stand around no he's gonna be on the other yeah yeah yeah i i don't know if i trust some of my guys yeah yeah i mean that is a part of it where it's like i can't trust these guys because they're complete strangers yeah what if they're nervous as hell i met a homie that works at hamburger you though and i'm trying to get the tour from him oh that would be clutch yeah but i got a hamburger you owe me now. Went there last night, actually. Did you try the German menu? No, I had the French fries. Winter fries is what they're called. Winter fries?

They're flat curly fries. Flat and flat. What? They're not curly. They're light curly fries, but not curly. So they're like Fritos. Yeah. Pull up.

What are they called? Winter fries. Pull up winter fries, please. Yeah, go get some winter fries. And then I got... Wait, where is this? Hamburger U Pull up winter fries, please. Yeah, go get some winter fries. And then I got... Wait, where is this? Hamburger U. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Of course. I got some McPops, Biscoff cookie McPops. Oh, those look really good. Yeah. I actually... I would. I have a revelation about myself that I'm scared to say out loud. Talk to us, man.

Let's hear it. I'm gay. No. I knew it. There's no fruit olives? I'll order some Uber Eats right now. Always deliver. I think I'm a steak cut fries guy.

No. I don't know when this happened. That's wrong. No? No. I'm not? False. They're the worst.

They're by far the worst. Is that the same as Hojo's? Damn it. A Hojo potato? So I'm not. So those. Yeah, you're not. Those are super crispy.

I had this thought the other day. Good try. I had some really good ones, and I was like, I think this is my favorite type of fry. And I knew at the moment that this was the most controversial take you could have. Let's tear them. It's not controversial. It's just wrong. You're probably just wrong. Okay, so it's just wrong. You're probably just wrong.

Okay, so it's just wrong. Oh, TJ was ready. Oh, let's go. You were probably just hungry as hell. Waffle fries S tier. Waffle fries. No. I've had some shitty waffle fries.

I've had shitty waffle fries too. Waffle fries. What is that? What is TJ doing? TJ's going broke. Get that out of there. Fuck you, TJ. Get that out of there.

Oh, fuck you. TJ, don't do that. Poverty. Your thoughts wipe all of these. Wrong, wrong. This is like how always Sonny has those scenes where everyone just starts screaming at each other. Anytime we get the tier list up, it's just constant. That's the audience, too.

Go ahead, S. Curly Fries. Yeah, in the chat, they're doing the same thing. S. Curly Fries. S. Curly Fries. I'm fine with that. Shoe String is E. Shoe String is E. That's not a fry.

Shoe String is great. That's bullshit. I love the thin. TJ. What? Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. Tater. a fry. Shoestring is great. I love the thin. TJ. What? Tater tots. That's a hundred days of no french fries. Yeah. That's a good point. Tater tots rule.

Are you serious? I don't know what they're called, but there's like the double fried ones that they have at like boardwalks. Those are my favorite tuts. Fuck that. Fuck that. Tater tots are very good. They are S tier.

They're not S tier. Yeah, they are actually. No, that's kind of crazy. If there are tater tots on the table, if someone else, tater tots are so good that if you order a sandwich with a side of tater tots and I don't have tater tots on my plate, I will not even ask. I will find a way to take one of your tater tots. It's just an instinct. Tater tots are, yeah. I have to have one of the tater tots on my plate, I will not even ask. I will find a way to take one of your tater tots. It's just an instinct. Tater tots. Yeah.

I have to have one of the tater tots. I take smiley fries over tater tots, curly fries over tater tots, everything else. Smiley? Yeah. I'm getting us some cheese balls, too. Yeah. Yeah, of course. One of my.

Thanks. Oh, fuck. Balls, balls, balls. Yeah, one of the big ones. You either have to eat cheese balls. I'm down to soul. Suck our balls. Suck our balls. Sam Lauderdale

One of my pull up guys Wait you can't do it yet I know I know Is Sam Lauderdale being a slut He might be being a slut in the DMs I'm telling him slut He was also my pull up guy today Sam Lauderdale

Is this one of your homies or is this just a guy you found? Just a guy. I feel like that's a flag on the play. He's boys with DeMartino as well. Is he? Yes. DeMartino's the best. DeMartino might just pull up. I have his number. I just checked my DMs. I got eight

people that were like, I can roll up, dude. If you need someone, I'll roll up. I'm going to pick the hottest. Here's the rule. people that were like i can roll up dude if you need someone i'll roll up all right i'm gonna pick the well no so here's here here's the rule if you get because this is actually gonna probably be a problem because now people are gonna just try to roll up oh yeah shit um you have security outside uh if someone rolls up on your behalf uh and, like, I'm here for Titus, and you don't know who they are,

I think you get three shots to get their name right. Otherwise, it doesn't count. Deal. All right. That's fair. I feel like roll-up is just going to become like a Friday thing on the app. Yeah, just roll up. It's the Friday roll-up.

Yeah, Friday roll-up sounds sick. It kind of does. All right, Titus, should we find out? I just ordered the fruit roll-up. Yeah, Friday roll-up sounds sick. It kind of does. Alright, TJ, should we find out? I just ordered the fruit roll-ups. Should we spin the wheel for the... Who's gonna have to get the roll-up? Steven, you're eating in the mic.

Directly. Okay, elimination. Fucking Sam Waterdale, dude. He let you all down. Yeah, I just told him he's a slut. Put all the names on the wheel, though, TJ. Is that you all down. Yeah. I just told him he's a slut. Put all the names on the wheel, though, TJ. Is that it? Yeah, that's it.

It's a tough wheel. Oh, guys. I guess it is. Big Cat on the wheel? No. Oh, it's a void wheel. No, it's my challenge. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I have my boy Greenwalt, too. You guys don't have Greenwalt. You don't have Greenwalt. I know you don't have Greenwalt. I don't have Greenwalt. Yeah.

I'll admit it. Ah! I really needed Che. Would Che have a guy? I really... No, I need him to roll up. Oh, yeah. I forgot needed Che. Would Che have a guy? I really... No, I need him to roll up. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

I don't want Zadaloo. Oh, I'm kind of nervous now. Yeah, I don't want Zadaloo. I'm kind of nervous. I'm kind of nervous. Oh, whoa. Oh, whoa. Ignatius.

Oh, fuck you. I was super nervous about that because I have no guys and I can't eat. Wait, wait, wait. I would have just been rolling. Zod, you got a guy? Andrew, way less round. I'm going to be rolling.

All right, this is best of seven. Damn, the old TJ would have crushed this thing. I would have been able to go. Oh my god, dude. If you get swept, you have to suck off your roll-up. Yeah.

What am I rooting for right now? You're rooting to get the spin on you. Mook has to have the guy roll up. 2-0, Za. Oh, I'm ready to blow. Oh, fuck. Oh, what just happened? I guess it's moved.

It's moved. Zah, should you throw a flag on the play? That could have changed everything, Zah. That could have changed everything. If I lose, yeah. If I lose, that's it. Oh, no. Yep.

And Michael said, Nope. Okay. Oh, God. Fuck, I was excited. And, like, you have to spend the day with your roll-up. Like, go back. You have to chill. Yeah. Oh, shit. Fuck, I was excited. And, like, you have to spend the day with your roll-up. Like, go back. You have to chill.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh. Let's go, Zod. All right, the boys. Three, one. Let's go, Zod. Boys better be ready.

Three, one. Let's call him on speaker. Yep. For my people and for my country. We need his mic on all the time. For my people. All my days. Zod's laugh is the best laugh.

All right. Three, two. Three, two. Oh, no. Oh, we got the race. Oh, my God. Oh, no, Zaw. Are you going to blow this?

Are you going to blow this? Just like Arsenal blew the league last season. Here we go. No way. There it is. Yeah. All right. Set the timer, TJ.

Are you ready? Tell me when, yeah. All right. Give him 16 minutes. Well, so I think it should start as soon as he hangs up the call. Are you calling or are you texting? I'm calling. Oh, okay.

All right. All right. All right. All right. Yeah. As soon as you hang up, 15 minutes. All right. Start the call. All you calling or are you texting? I'm calling. Oh, okay. Alright, alright, alright. Yeah, as soon as you hang up, 15 minutes. Alright. Start the call. Alright, here we go. Come on, Brett. Oh, Brett. Come on, Brett. Here we go, Brett.

Oh, no. Fucking Sam Lauderdale's in my DMs again. Bro, fuck off. Chill. You whore. Yo, Brett. Hello? Yo, Brett. You're live on the act. Don't give out our address. I need you to roll up right now.

Oh, alright. Alright, so... I'm gonna text you the address. I need you here in 15 minutes. Yep. Alright, peace. Alright. Zero excitement. Now, what. Alright. Zero excitement. What does Brett do for a living?

Wait, TJ, restart it because he's texting the address. After he sends the address. Hold on. What's going to end up happening is Mook's friend's going to get here in 20 minutes. Mook's going to have to be rolling up

and we're just going to hang out with Brett. Brett's gonna be perfect that's gonna be the fuck it's gonna be a great day okay text has been sent okay go start start what an answer go tell me just right there all right will you go tell go tell uh kevin our security guard that when brett comes just bring him right to the yak studio he's got to get right in. Got it. There's going to be a bunch of dudes showing up. Oh, that would be great. What? If we get, like, someone walks in and, like, Brett's here.

Mook's like, that's not Brett. Mook doesn't know who Brett is. Oh, you don't think so? I would roll up and pretend to be Brett. That would be funny. That would be really funny. No, don't. No, then we could have, like, five dudes dudes and we have to guess which one's Brett.

I'm telling you, boys. You're listening. Roll through. And dangerous. Oh, yeah, yeah. We do have good security. We put them through a lot of tests. We're like, shoot a basketball.

And they're like, you can't be Brett. No, you're not Brett. That's not how you shot the ball. I want to see you all roll. I think we need to get Zah and TJ some guns. Ooh. Just in case. Yeah.

You guys want pieced up? Hell yeah, brother. Glock 99. Oh, no. Steven. What? Someone just walked in with a Glock. Freeze, motherfucker.

He's shooting you steven oh no i was so he's fucked up i was so enamored with that football game last night i loved it it was the it was hilarious yes i wanted it to be i wanted to be even worse i wanted to be 100 points is justin herbert the best quarterback in the world it was a great night for him he is like that that team looked so bad i was telling titus because he said he he like turned it on turned it right off because like well this is over it was wild watching a team actually quit playing football live on air. Never seen anything like that. Yeah.

They just quit. Like the guys who were scoring, too. Did you tell him that there might be other Bretts? No. Okay. We'll see. Let's just see how it goes. Give your Brett a passcode or something.

Yeah, give him a passcode. A code. Okay. Tax me the code? No. You tell him a code, and you tell our security guard the code. I didn't think about this. Mook has Big Cat to text him the code.

What code did he think? This guy. Oh, my God. I'm excited for Brett, man. Yeah, Brett better be cool. He better have good vibes. The phone call went as well as it could have. Yeah, he's all right.

Great start to Brett. No chance Brett has a job. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm curious what he does for a living. You could get a phone call like that and be like, yeah, man, no worries. I have to move nothing on my schedule. Just go ahead. This doesn't disrupt a thing. I aspire.

Like those dudes, there are those dudes out in life, and I'm so jealous of them. Yeah. The dudes that just somehow just kind of float. It's like, you don't really know how they're getting money to survive, but they always do. Yeah. Yeah, I'm jealous. Right. All right.

And then after COVID, it seems like there's a lot, like 50% of dudes that do that. Yeah. People working from home working from home sucked i'm glad there's a lot of dudes a dude shortage would suck we need to it's they're endangered species dudes are yeah no yeah they're trying to kill dudes all the time yeah i guess you're right all the dudes transitioning we need, fuck. We need like a dude sanctuary. Yeah. Like conservation efforts.

Yeah. It's just like there's always a football game on. Yeah. That's really it. Yeah. Maybe serve wings. Yeah, I was going to say chicks in tight clothes. B-dubs is actually a dude sanctuary.

There's not enough big titties. I would prefer big titties on the waitress If only there was Okay so we do I'm super nervous Brett has gone dark I think he might be nervous What do you mean?

Hasn't answered a text Maybe he's running here Yeah he's probably in the car I hope so Imagine if he just started sprinting But but he's actually like five miles away. Was Brett a random guy? Oh, yeah. You've never met him?

Never met him. Read his Twitter bio to us. Okay. Oh, no. I'll read the DM he sent me two weeks ago. I work in West Loop. I can be at your office in five. Let me know, boss.

Thank you, boss. We'll be in touch. Yesterday, he heard on the app, so he gave me his phone number and i just said get ready um his bio is clemson slash chicago okay uh and it's a picture his profile picture is him golfing oh i feel like i know brett can i can i have a backup roll up no okay it's all i mean that's that defeats the purpose of the roll-up right yeah i was showing the security guard uh security guard his twitter he just became irish there for a second showing the guard and uh i was showing him his twitter to give him his first and last name and the last tweet he retweeted was a Clemson football tweet.

And I guess he like the guard was like looking at the tweet and saw a black player on Clemson. He was like, wait, is this guy black or white? He thought he was the player. Yeah. He thought he was. That's great. All right. Should we give a backup roll up?

I like this. Yeah. It is a very Friday energy. I kind of want to call a roll-up myself and have Brett and my roll-up do a podcast together. I'll allow a backup roll-up. Can it be Nick's? No, I don't have any roll-ups. Lauderdale's out of town.

Lauderdale's out of town. I'm not wasting Greenwald on this bullshit. Friday roll-up's going to get to the point where we just have a massive crowd. Yeah. Waiting outside. I would love that. Big Cat just opens the door and just looks at him. He's like, you. shit friday roll-up's gonna get to the point where we just have a massive crowd yeah waiting every friday i would love that big cat just opens the door and just looks at him he's like you all right rest of you back up roll up we'll be back tomorrow like it's like the water in mad max

we maybe we just have the show hosted by the roll-up yeah i don't have to work on friday oh we should take Fridays off. Yo. Roll up. You ready to roll up, brother? Nicky Smokes? I can roll up. You can roll up? Yeah, I'll be there.

Should I tell him to come? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll up, roll up, roll up. It's not Nicky Smokes. All right, I'll text you the address. Thank you, Matt. Bye. We should actually have Nicky Smokes do like a pre-interview in the hallway. Yes.

Give us a douchebag detector. Yeah, I think Brett went for it. And it's just reverse. Nicky's like, he's not a douchebag. We're like, okay, he's the biggest douchebag ever. He's like, this guy seems fucking chill. I want to hang with him. If Nicky Smokes thinks a guy is cool, he has probably some disgusting felonies.

He's the perfect guy. I saw Nicky Smokes is coming after my corner Of Barstool impersonations Yeah he nailed me Yeah He got you I didn't see It took me like a minute and a half Watching the video

You got me good It was so good You got me good It was funny too Because Jerry like started it And Jerry was getting made fun of too I don't think Jerry realized That portion of it

I gotta go tell the security guard there might be another dude coming in this guy's name's matt yes i want those two to put out a sitting here afterwards put out a podcast one two or two oh nick you know this guy matt we he uh he bought us our first malort shots oh matt's cool yeah cool. Yeah, Matt's a good dude. Two Ts. I don't even want to interview these guys. I want them to just be on the show. Mook, at what point? I don't want it to be questions like, what's the deal?

I think I'm fucked. At what point at the timer do you start to get nervous? Right now. Again, I think it's going to be Mook's roll-ups are going to hang with us while he just is on the court. Oh, Brett's here. Oh, Brett. Brett. We got Brett. Wait, Brett got here. Oh, look at that. Brett. Yes. We got Brett.

Wait, Brett got here unemployedly fast. Yes. He said he's at his job, but that doesn't seem right. There's Nick Smith. You got two minutes to kick off. Where's Jerry? Where's Jerry? Jerry.

Jerry. Where's Jerry? Right here. Here, quick. Quick here. Pick four legs. Put whatever you want on it. If it wins, all the money's yours.

If it loses, it's on me. Don't worry about it. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. We got two minutes till kickoff. Come here. Come here, Jerry. Come on. Let's have a day today.

Let's have a day today. He's not even trying to do a voice. I know. We're going to win today. Yo, big hat, there's a fire downstairs. That's pretty good. That part hurts fire downstairs. That's pretty good. I know how bad I am. I'm very aware of it.

Justin Fields is a good quarterback. When he plays like a good quarterback, I just don't know how many times he's going to play like a good quarterback. Brett! What's up, dude? You want to sit right there next to Titus? What's up, man? Good job rolling up, bro.

Great roll. That was a fucking fast roll up. What's up, Brett? Good job rolling up, bro. Great roll. That was a fucking fast roll up. What's up, Brett? Yeah, sit on down, Brett. So we'll do like a little introduction for Brett. The goal of roll up is like we're not going to sit here and like interview you.

You're on the act. You don't look unemployed at all. Yeah. You look very employed. I have a meeting. 20 minutes, but it's all good. Oh, I love this guy. Yeah, you look very employed have a meeting 20 minutes. What's all good? Oh? I love this guy. Yeah. Oh, it's not wait. You gotta go back there. He said he lives It's all good. I mean, how'd you get here it out? How'd you get here today? I bite got a divvy

Holy shit. It's like mile and a half Not too bad Damn you got here fast That's incredible How important is this meeting? I don't want you to Like lose your job Like I do But then we have to hire him That'd be the funniest Then we have to hire him

Yeah It's a Friday afternoon meeting It can't be That's true Those are always What do you do? I'm a financial analyst No no no

It's not to learn about Jack Yeah chip in whatever you watch the act i assume yeah yeah here we go uh every time we have an empty chair we should just do this instead of one of our co-workers today i'm gonna be on the yak but then brett rolled fucking brett man we got a backup roll oh yeah so we have matt coming that's coming yeah yeah he'll come yeah if you can get him in two in 15 minutes, that would be impressive. Yeah, keep the clock running.

He's in his car. Yeah, keep the clock running. Let's just see. Start it up again. Did you say the code name I gave you, code word? Yeah. What was it? Hunter Biden.

Oh, no. Now people are going to say it. No, I gave Matt a different one. Oh, nice. Look at you. Is that encryption? Yeah, the security expert. So tater tots, Brett, your thoughts?

S tier? Favorite fry? Fry? Like thin. Like shoestring? Shoestring, yeah. Yeah, shoestring. We just put them in there.

We're going to put that in E. Like steak and shake? No way. Yeah, those are the best. Has he done two? No. You got two roll-ups whoa two in ten someone actually said because i was tweeting out the uh stream and so like when i when i click on it i obviously see who's waiting for the yak uh in like commenting and i read a comment saying I feel like today's gonna be an all-time MOOC day. This might be good I was good start. Yeah. Yeah, that's a crazy fucking claim to make

Did you tell the people you're not going to your meeting No I mean I will I will in a second. I like that. It's all good. It's fun. Wait, should he run the gauntlet? Oh, yeah. Definitely have Brett and Matt run the gauntlet. For sure. Also, we should make sure we spin the wheel before they leave. If they get wet.

Dicey wet wheel situation. Non-Barstool employees that have run the gauntlet are Cam, Brandon, Marshall. Delaney Walker. Delaney Walker. Brett. Brett. Matt. Who? Matt. Oh, Matt will. Delaney Walker. Delaney Walker. Brett. Brett. Maybe Matt. Who?

Matt. Oh, Matt Will. Yeah, Matt. Yeah, yeah. You know, regular guys. Run-of-the-mill guys. I want to accrue the largest mass of roll-up guys. Like fast?

Now I want him to get some roll-up. If I could. Oh. Wait, are we just throwing a party? You want to get someone to roll up? Now you have to get some roll-ups. We got to... Oh. Wait, are we just throwing a party? You want to get someone to roll-up? Now you have to get someone. Yo, if you get someone to roll-up, by all means, have them roll-up. You have a roll-up guy? Yeah, yeah.

I'll send a text. Brett's got two phones. Oh, Brett. Two-phone Brett. Two-phone Brett. That's a good nickname. This guy is fucking legendary. Yeah, we got a seat for Matt, and then we're going to have a seat for your roll-up.

Yeah, and then you need to- Brett's getting a guy to roll up. Brett's going to have a guy roll up. And where's Matt? Matt will be here in six minutes. Okay. KB, I love the idea of you having an army of roll-ups, and you assign a number to all of them. You just tweet the number.

You just tweet 12 and hit send, and then number 12 comes running. The power, I would feel. Wait, so who did you get to roll up? I sent a text. I don't know. He sent a text to one of his boys to roll up. You guys want to get fucked up? Yeah, I'll take a drink.

Can I grab some nudes? Yeah. Grab some nudes. Yeah, let's have a party. Oh, my God. Yeah, Mook, what kind of host are you we just like finished the show and kevin skier's like who do you know here it's yeah i know brett but who's brett well brett knows mook brett said to say hunter biden oh man smart by mook to just encrypted passwords i didn't think he had that in him no i didn't

think he had an encryption brain yeah he doesn't think i didn't think he had that in no i didn't think he had an encryption brain yeah he doesn't think i don't think he's smart enough we also have to do today we have to figure out mooks parlay oh yeah so he'll sweat that out on sunday i might he might have to come to the gambling cave for that certainly should is he on he's not on the road this weekend right no yeah you want like a one slate parlay no because i've been doing gauntlets yeah no that's the best. Because it's like if you go two, two, one, if you can somehow get to the one, it's the best.

Right. Saturday is three standalone games. Yes. Three Saturday? Three Saturdays. Three different times. Right into an all-time UFC card too. Wow.

Yeah, you know, that clip was pretty crazy. Colby Covington, who's he fighting? Leon Edwards. Leon Edwards, he was like, I'm going to put you in the seventh circle of hell. You can say hi to your dad down there. And Leon Edwards flipped out and threw a microphone at him. People were really upset about that, huh, TJ? Yeah, Colby is an all-time heel.

He plays up the MAGA like ultra American role he walks out to Kurt Angle's theme song right he's he's playing a villain but but yes UFC why were UFC fans I'm a big believer that in like fight promotions there are literally no rules because I didn't know I like UFC but I'm not like so tuned in especially football season I saw this I was like I'm buying this fight yeah it's I mean they're doing it I've been hyped about this fight for but is it is it is that a UFC like boxing it feels like boxing fans know like because it's been around for so long like you could say whatever the fuck if you say at the end like we're just trying to sell fights it kind of all is washed away yeah I mean they'll probably

still hug after the fight. Right. UFC fans, do they understand that, like, anything goes in fight promotion? I think so. That's how it should be. I think, yeah. Because it is really the only place where, like, nothing could shock me in fight promotion. Yeah.

Because at the end of the day, all you're trying to do is get people to be interested in it. Yeah. And a lot of them don't even mean it. Right. They hate, I feel like they hate, deep down, hate deep down hate doing that right well he looked like he kind of enjoyed it cole uh covington yeah yeah but a lot of joys being the troll i love watching him do interviews you see him like rose steiny yeah you just call steiny like a puffy little jelly muffin or some shit like he's like you're the softest boy in the land are you ufc

fan brett not really what sports you like golf yeah uh basketball who's your favorite golfer at barstool football rigs yeah me too good choice i like brett mine's a lot yeah like will will's my number one golfer easily you guys are just trying to piss me off. I do want to ask one question about Clemson. Okay. Dabo's fucking annoying. I like him. Okay.

Great question. Yeah, yeah. Really good question. Dabo's fucking annoying? Yeah. He's annoying. I mean, he's a lot, but he's a good coach. Would you want to chill with him?

No. No. I like him though. You want coaches you want to be able to chill with? Yeah. Brett Bielema. Who is the best coach that is able to – who has the best record and best chill ability? Pete Carroll.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. He might be too intense. He seems cool as fuck, yeah. Pete Carroll. Ooh, I don't know. I don't know. He might be too intense. He seems cool as fuck, yeah. Pete Carroll seems cool as fuck. Dan Campbell? Pete Carroll's just chomping his gum and slinging the football around.

Mike McDaniel. As far as football coaches go, Mike McDaniel might be the answer. Yeah. Chill to win ratio. He's just a young guy. I mean, he doesn't do our... We don't have enough data on his coaching.

We were talking about Greg Sciano. We were talking about when the hugging stuff happened, like maybe wanting to get a beer with the coach isn't a good thing. Oh, Urban Meyer. Oh, yeah. No, he'd steal all the chicks. He can finger through jeans. I need to learn that power.

Imagine hooking up with a chick, and the next morning she's like, that was great. Not as great as when Herbs was knuckles deep in the ass with Erbs. When you took a piss. Like, wait, what the fuck? Mike Leach. Mike Leach would have been an all-timer. He was a good coach.

Yeah. He was a good coach. Oh, man. Super Bowl winning coach. Oh. Is Tomlin cool? Or champ? No.

Tomlin I think would be cool. He'd be intimidating. But he speaks in Rhymes that make no sense Right I can't figure you out Tomlin would be cool But Pete Carroll wouldn't

I don't know about The Pete Carroll thing That's an LA answer I think That's a Cali like Wow You guys got Accused of being LA He's got LA dude

We're trying to That's a common man That's a compliment I think Pete Carroll would be like too, like, he loves life too much. I want to be able to feel like he's in the bar. You know what I mean? You don't want to be around a guy who, like, loves life.

You want to be around a guy who likes life. Yeah, like a dark dive bar. Yeah. And you're complaining, but having a good time. Yeah, like, I enjoy life, but if you come in and you're like, I love life, I'm like, get away from me, dude. I don't know if I'd want to chill with Andy Reid. Yeah, like I enjoy life, but if you come in and you're like, I love life, I'm like, get away from me, dude. I don't know if I'd want to chill with Andy Reid. No, he's Mormon.

He doesn't drink either. I'd get a meal with Andy Reid. Yeah. I think I'd hate Sean McVay. Really? He seems too, like, gung-ho. Yeah. He seems like a, he feels like he could morph into social settings.

Like he could be a dude, but he also could be buttoned up. Chillability is a red flag for a coach. Do we consider Vrabel a good coach? Vrabel, yes. Vrabel is a good coach. I've been lucky enough to chill with him. He is awesome. He's a dude's dude.

Okay. Yeah, he would be, I don't know if you'd want to even say chill. It'd just be like if you want a dude's dude. I'd hope for him to be a bit schlubbier though. Yeah, because Vrabel, if you chilled with vrabel there's like a 50 chance i guess this would be your answer kyle because vrabel would wrestle i actually i don't love that as much as you'd think okay because he i'd have to be wasted yeah if you guys got wasted you guys i'm buzzed if someone starts touching me you don't like buzz touching?

No. What about tipsy touching? That's the same thing, right? A little bit more. Yeah. Wasted. Wasted and I love it. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

Love it. What about sober? Love it. Yeah. Okay. Something about it. I don't know. You know who I chilled with that actually

was surprisingly like a fun hang chip kelly really that's surprising yeah surprising yeah it was it might have been the setting it was with rossillo and manhattan beach and it was i think super bowl week and we were just like we had like a booth and it was like just kind of hanging yeah but he was like very he was just kind of a chill guy. Yeah. I could see that. He surprised me, though, a little bit. I feel like he kind of doesn't give a fuck.

Right. There's a little of that. Yeah. Yeah. He was cool. I'm trying to think who else would be. Saban would not be a fun hang. Although Saban would be kind of like a sugar daddy hang.

I feel like if you hung out with Saban You'd be like come I got a boat I got a lake house I'll let you drive my Mercedes You can fuck my daughter Like he's always recruiting Even if it's not recruiting Oh yeah Yeah

Dating's a lot like recruiting Yeah So he would probably be a great like Yeah he'd be great at taking you out If we did Nick Saban the bachelor Yeah Would be great Making him laugh would be great. Yeah, he'd be great at taking you out. If we did Nick Saban the Bachelor? Yeah. It would be great. Making him laugh would be cool.

Oh, that would be the best. Making Nick Saban or Bill Belichick laugh has to be the best feeling in the world. Has Bill Belichick ever laughed? I think Randy Moss did a prank and he smiled. I think he smiled when he went roller skating with Randy Moss. I feel like there's a video of Belichick laughing and it's like evil. It's uncomfortable.

You have to make a joke about lacrosse or something. Or like the Navy. Brett, are you getting nervous about your meeting? I'm messaging now. See if I can push it back. Okay, if you have to go, I do not want you to get in trouble. run the gauntlet now do you want to do the gauntlet just safe yeah I'll do it actually is your roll-up coming no

no that would be great if your roll-up came and you left that would be awesome if you have another roll I'm from suburbs if you have another roll up. I'm from suburbs. If you had another roll up Do you have anyone else? I texted a couple. Nobody could okay? No, I just said I could push it back. It's all good. Okay nice. Look at this. No way he's laughing That's disgusting. I don't like that. Yeah, I didn't like that either. No, that was uncomfortable.

I didn't enjoy that. The other clips are like them calling fake punts and then they cut to Belichick and he's laughing. Oh, I want to see that. Because that absolutely is like where he finds the most humor. Belichick laughs from trolling the Jets is the title of the video. What up, Matt?

What's up, Matt? Oh, look, Matt's wearing Roback. There we go. Matt, sit right here between me and Nick. Oh, this is when he steals time. Do you remember this? Brable did it to him. What an evil thing to say. What an evil sentence. But he does. Bill Belichick found a loophole in the rule book and he found a way to

steal time because it was, yeah, look, see the clock just started again. If you go in the punt formation and get a delay a game, it doesn't stop the clock. So in a game like this, he literally was just, he would just do this over and over. Get a penalty. Or like a guy would go off sides, I think maybe it was. And then it would just start over and he just stole time. He found a way to steal time. Look at this. See?

They do that on purpose. And does he just keep laughing? Penalty, five yard penalty. And then, yeah, they're all just laughing. And then the clock starts again. This fucking genius. So what did they do to stop this? They might have changed the rules.

Vrabel did this to Belichick in the playoffs. And it was like the all-time, like, he got him. Oh, there he is. Look, there he is laughing. Yeah. That's him coming too yeah he loves it do it again look see the clock started again so no play has been run but they took like two minutes off the clock and could they technically just keep doing this for the rest of the game i think after i think at the when there's five minutes left it stops the clock. And could they technically just keep doing this for the rest of the game? I think when there's five minutes left, it stops the clock.

Matt, what's up, dude? Sorry. Sorry. That was our bad. I feel like Brandon would just do nothing. Sit here. Yeah. You fit in perfectly, Matt. Matt, you fit in perfectly. Wait, so how far away did you roll up from? Basically my bird's nest.

Okay. Okay. Not bad. No. He said he ran two red lights to get here. I was sprint? Basically my bird's nest. Okay, okay. Not bad. No. No, he said he ran two red lights to get there. I was sprinting to put my row back on. Where's my row back? Couldn't find my wallet. The house is unlocked. My girlfriend's gone.

He has a row back bag. The oven's on. I ordered Shake Shack because I saw it on PMT today. I haven't ordered in like a year. So wait, has it already arrived? I already got it. Oh, okay. I ordered it Shack because I saw it on PMT today. I haven't ordered in like a year. So wait, has it already arrived? I already got it. Oh, okay. I ordered it at like 11.

I was super hungover. Matt, I'm going to say this, like not trying to like hit on you, but you got a great voice. Oh my God. Yeah. Say something. I mean, it's okay. No. Good voice.

It's a little radio voice. Yeah, that's a deep voice. 98.9. Can you tell me I'm a good boy? I will. Yeah, you're a good boy. I thought that was going to be weird. I'm into that. Yeah. 98.9. Can you tell me I'm a good boy? I will. Yeah, you're a good boy. I thought that was going to be weird. I'm into that.

Yeah. That was hot. That was really hot. Well, thanks for rolling up. Hey, dude, it's awesome. This place is sick. Yeah. He bought me and Nick our first Malort shots.

That's right. I did. I love that. That's right. I love that. Now, what was your code word to get in? Say it. No, he's encrypted.

He's encrypted the passwords. Did you forget your code word to get in? Say it. They're encrypted. He encrypted the passwords. Did you forget the code word? Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, I didn't want to say it. I'm probably going to get fired for that. Wait, so do you work from home? I work from home. Okay.

Are you missing a meeting? I haven't had a meeting in months. Okay, great. Months? You still have a job? I see the heck every day. Brett just moved a meeting for this. Okay, great. Months? You still have a job? What's the heck every day? Brett just moved a meeting for this. Hey, he works harder than I do.

You guys recognize each other? Ever see each other? Never. Never seen Brett in my life. So are you a I'm-a-buy-you-a-malort-shot guy? Well, he watches that. No, I'm a malort guy. But I assume you don't do that for strangers.

Oh, no, no. No, it wasn't like I saw a redhead guy in Nick. Thank you. Yeah. A redhead guy and Nick, and I'm like, ooh. Thank you. A redhead guy and Nick. Yeah. I didn't know. This is your roll-up.

Yeah. He's the man, though. Yeah. You guys want to play flip cup? Yes, dude. I kind of want to. I do, too. Yeah. Perfect.

I want to see Matt and Brett do the gauntlet. You guys have to. Yeah, I do it. The chat's giving me shit, Chad. I'm part of you, so. Oh, you're a chatter? Oh, God. No, I occasionally get in there.

I love that. Just for Jerry. The chat. Representation matters. Yes. The chat is watching right now. No, it's like, yeah, we all don't have jobs. We all find fart jokes funny.

Oh, absolutely. You hate Mook. Yep, yep, yep. Debatable. Yes, we don't like him. I'll find fart jokes funny Oh absolutely You hate mook Yep Yep Yep Debatable Yes we don't like him No every show goes in cycles I did go to law school

You went to law school I did Successfully Successfully And I passed the bar And then you did nothing with it And what do you do Now I'm an oil and gas attorney

Oh okay Oh shit dude Can we have you on the panel You're not dumb If we do something fucked up Could you like help us Yeah Yeah like if we we have this idea that we're gonna steal uh an oil well okay next chapter you got us yeah for sure okay cool i assume that's what happens for oil and gas attorney you're just getting oil barons out of jail they just take them out are oil barons

the most evil people Have to be What about railroad barons Oh railroad tycoons Railroad tycoons are bad That's a big rivalry Vanderbilt or Jerry Jones Who's worse I don't know the Vanderbilts

Fuck the Vanderbilts Was Rockefeller Railroad I think That's like old school evil They were like we get all the railroads Was Rockefeller... He was a railroad, I think. Was he? That's like old school evil. They were like, we get all the railroad. Like Amtrak's not evil. No.

I believe those people are reptilians. Like that's where I'm like, oh, the Rockefellers and Vanderbilts. They have a suit underneath. But didn't the Vanderbilts like lose all their money? I'm pretty sure they're not rich anymore. I'm sure. Still a really good last name. Yeah. Who's the American oil king oh i don't the bushes are they oil guys

i don't know some texas a&m probably the guy who owns pioneer pioneer there's your answer what's that that's industry talk right company and yeah midland, Texas. The picture of the guy handing out the check at the Texas A&M before they fired Jimbo. Yeah. The family that owns the Thunder, maybe? It's that guy. Oh, they're not oil. Oh, they're not oil?

They're energy, right? No, they're like printing. I thought Chesapeake Energy was. Well, Chesapeake's not. They don't own it. Oh, he used to own it. He was. Got it.

What's his face? He got killed in a car crash. Well, I don't think he got killed in a car crash. I didn't want to say it. You know what oil is? What was that called? You know what oil is? Like how it's made?

What it comes from? T-Rex? Whoa. Is it like a dead organism? Yeah, it's dead dinosaurs, right? It seems like we have a lot, though. Do we have unlimited? That doesn't make sense.

No, no, it's a non-renewable. So how much oil do we have left? Did you waste your time getting that degree? I have no idea. Good answer. I was an international student. TJ, look that up. How much oil do we have left?

Oh. You were an international student. America or the world? World. What? It's from dead dinosaurs. That doesn't seem like it would be a lot. Yeah, but it also feels like there's a lot of places that the world has proven reserves

equivalent to. 47 years? That's it? Wait, that sucks. They're just going to find more and it'll be like 47 years and 47 years. Wait. Great point. We're going to run out in 47 years?

Why do you think Thunberg's been acting up, dude? That feels like a crisis. I'm really afraid. Wait, hold on. But that's in the years? Why do you think Thunberg's been acting up, dude? That feels like a crisis. I'm really afraid. Wait, hold on. But that's in the world? Hold on, I'd be 85. No, we're good. You're gonna...

Yeah, we're fine. We're good. We got enough oil. No chance of making it. We're gonna start consuming more and more, I'd imagine. I drink it every day. Yeah, you do. Dude, I'm distraught now.

I need to distract myself with some fucking flip cup. Holy fuck. I think we got to play flip cup. We got to play flip cup. All right, well, let's get these guys out there for the challenge. I'm going to piss. Brett, Matt, why don't you put them on the wheel and decide who goes first? Malasek's warmed up today.

He's the worst. I saw him today earlier. Not good. When did you see him today? Oh, they did a shootout. Soccer shootout. He's the worst. I saw him today earlier. Not good. When did you see him today? Oh, they did a shootout. Soccer shootout. I told you, I don't do shit. Nicky Smokes.

I was so hungover. Nicky Smokes scored six out of seven on him. Five out of seven on him. Where'd you go last night, Matt? I went to Bird's Nest. I was there last night. Best wings ever. I then came home, watched some World War 2 doc on Netflix

it was fantastic I watched the twin flame doc last night that show was cool you have a twin flame Mark? have you found yours yet man? still working on it I think Brett and Matt are just one of you is going to have to be a girl

one of you has the should I tell a girl to roll up divine yeah we could do some chicks here no no no no no what look at how wearing a dorky ass sweater yeah he's wearing a dorky ass sweater yeah i look nah roll have a chick roll up for the chat kb's gonna be acting different yeah he is yeah he All right, TJ, spin to see who has to go first. All right. And if either of you guys have to leave at any point, know that it's not a problem.

Like, we will talk a lot of shit about you when you leave, but it's not a problem. It's fair. All right, Brett's up first. Do you know how to do all of it? Yeah, I got it. All right, let's go, Brett. Let's go, Brett. Let's go, Brett.

This would actually destroy me if one of these guys beat my record. Do we know Brett's time to get here? Because that should be a record by now. Yeah, the roll-up record. Fast roll-up. By the way, whoever wins this is going to get an Omaha steak. The holidays are here. Let Omaha Steaks take the guesswork out of gifting.

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Minimum order may be required. Every purchase is backed by their unconditional money back guarantee simply go to omahasteaks.com achieve gifting greatness today so is donnie cooking something yes i think he's cooking chicken chicken parm today i had some great i just told him like tommy devito's agent was coming in Oh my That's what he did So I was like Yeah can you make some chicken parm And then

Tommy DeVito's agent's like I gotta run Which I knew he had to leave He had a hard out Busy guy So I just used Tommy DeVito's agent To have Donnie make me chicken parm Yeah

You got trickled down Italian Yeah It's Reaganomics Was he 100% authentic? Yes Just no bullshit just great was his mouth upside down yes who's his other clients tommy devito just tommy just that's a great 12 i don't know who else he's got to have one of the jersey shore cast members yeah or is he just sports he's just sports we tried to we tried to pitch him maybe representing rico bosco

in future negotiations. But, yeah, he was – I asked him. I was like, how often do you think, like, what would Rocky Balboa do? And he's like, every day. He thinks – Every day. Did I get gut by a tweet or is he being inducted to the Italian-American Hall of Fame? That's why he's here.

He's already here in Chicago. The Italian-American Hall of Fame is – It's the Italian-American Sports Hall of Chicago. The Italian American Hall of Fame is. It's the Italian American Sports Hall of Fame. Because Tommy had a couple good games. No. So I thought that was the case as well. But it was actually. That's unreal.

Yeah. It was August he got the call for it. For appearing on Monday Night Football. Yeah. He's. That was a good appearance. One time. Yeah.

He's in the. He's getting inducted in the Italian-American Sports Hall of Fame. Guys, we have a wholesome alert. Oh, yeah, this is wholesome. Get it, TJ. Someone DM me that he looks like a young, all-business Pete. Oh, my God. Oh, he's got a blue pullover.

He does kind of have narc vibes. Yeah. Oh, he can hear us. We're sitting right next to him. Yeah, shit. Okay. You ready? TJ, you ready?

I am. All right. Here we go, Brett. Prediction, great. Great run. Three, two, one, go. Uh-oh. Oh oh i knew it he's a long games guy i can tell by the meaner oh oh he went for mouse x don't oh my god let's go my record is officially in danger we can't have bread at the top okay all right this yeah he sucks at this oh yeah he sucks at this. Yeah, he sucks at this. He's a golfer.

Oh, no. Football. This is insane. Nope. I'm officially rooting against Brett now. Hate Brett. Shit. Oh, my God. We're just this much worse.

He's got to suck. This is a random guy. These are how athletic regular dudes suck. You gotta suck right. This is a random. Yeah. Yeah, these are how athletic regular How pathetic we yeah an average finance Shape with six sides no don't help them don't help them to NFL teams apart Oh, don't help them don't have a country's most at Olympic medal. I'll help them blue raspberry Glacier cherry Two NFL teams with Pirates. Don't help him. Seven countries most at Olympic medals. I'll help him. Blue Raspberry. Glacier Cherry.

That's the one you're going with? Oh my God. He went with Glacier Cherry. Don't panic. No. Oh, he got blue. That shouldn't count. Dude, seven countries.

Big country. United States. Stop helping him. China. Japan. Let's go. No. No. No. You need helping him. China. Japan. Let's go. No. You need five more.

Mexico. Real big. Oh, that's a bad one. Border Collie. 10 miles. Our songs. Popular dog breeds. Fuck.

Celtics. No. The Heat. No. No. Eight most popular dog breeds Two NFL teams with pirate names Now you're helping Fuck yeah

Two C's Fuck Putin Orange Cherry This was never a doubt, he sucks at sports Yeah, wow Fuck. Putin. Orange. Cherry. This was never a doubt. He sucks at Sporkle.

Yeah, wow. He was too good at Sporkle. He's so bad at Sporkle. Fuck. I don't even know any of these. Stream Miley Cyrus songs. There's a couple popular ones. NBA teams without basketballs.

Yeah. Rockets. He might go into reals. Yeah. Rockets. He might go into real one. He might be a real one. That might turn him into a real one. Holy fuck. This is going to be relieving for you. Don't let Mincy in here for the far right one.

Far right? Wait. Miley Cyrus songs. Them. Pug Okay You're really bad at the dogs Think of dogs Blue Gatorade

Think about the most common dog What a collapse Went to Purdue What? Went to Purdue. What? Went to Purdue. Oh, that's 23. Damn. Oh,

Wisconsin probably. Rocket Power? You ever watch that? No. Vladimir Putin. You gotta name, just name dogs. I don't know any. Which one's Vladimir Putin? Oh, you were really giving him the answer by saying Putin. Russia. There we go. There we go.

What? Whoa. That's... USSR. Maybe because it was split. No, think that's... Oh, yeah. They had to split.

Think Europe. Think... Sweden. Think what split. Yeah. Now you're cooking. It's like... I think Sweden's 1-E.

Oh, my God. Think about the... And yeah canada yeah three more think winter olympics uh russia uh western europe yeah europe i need these nba paris lakers there we go there's basketball in that shit there's exclusively a basketball Yeah that's right it is Oh my god He's turning real right before our eyes He's turning real That was the most impressive run of ever

After a historic Oh what a collapse I think if we look at the times He beat Josh Jacobs He crushed me Josh Jacobs Spurs

These are fullbacks Fullbacks dude Spurs You are a tough guy Two more Oh Spurs. These are fullbacks. Fullbacks, dude. Spurs. You are a tough guy. Two more. Oh. Think about World War I and II.

Berlin. Bucs. Yeah. Josh Jacobs. And. Why do you keep saying Josh Jacobs? Oh. Magic.

That's big big basketball Oh man Suns Kings Yeah yeah No that's a basketball Yeah hey Sorry basketball Sorry basketball

World War I World War II H-Man The H-Man The H-Man world war one world war two h man oh the h man the h man dude i'll just say hitler the h man hitler no yeah he's the highest paid fullback for the raiders oh you got this you got this. What country was Hitler? Well, not where he's from, but where he... Think Michigan State video board questions. Yeah. You said England?

England? Yeah, yeah. He's the realist of the real. So real. It's the biggest collapse in the history of the gauntlet. I've ever seen. Oh, yeah. You're not kidding.

Yeah. Hey. Hey. There we go. Let's see some answers. Dude, you broke two records. Yeah, we were trying to get you to say Germany. Germany was what you missed. Yeah, the dogs was. That got me nervous.

Golden Retriever, Labrador. I need the Harry Truman photo of him holding the newspaper. You did say Rockets. Like, Brett defeats Big Cat. Oh, Houston Rockets. That's so true. You did say Rockets. Brett defeats Big Cat. Oh, Houston Rockets. That's so true. It says Houston Rockers. Damn.

Brett, that was the best sports performance that we've ever had. Yeah. By a wide. You crushed that. I care about trivia. That was just not, I mean, that was terrible.

No, it was, terrible is putting it nicely. That was horrific. Yeah. But your sport, that was terrible. No, it was terrible is putting it nicely. That was horrific. Yeah. But your sport, you absolutely have the fastest time on the court. There's no doubt about it. We'll take that. Yeah, by far.

Yeah, he was back in his room in like 30 seconds. I think it was under a minute. I think it was under a minute. He went second shot soccer. He went like fourth wiffle ball. He went second shot. Real He went fourth wiffle ball. He went second shot real ones. Real. Real.

Real for two for one. Are your homies going to clown you for this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, TJ, can you go back and see when he got off the court? I think it was under a minute. It has to be a record, yeah. I think it was like 44 was under a minute. It has to be a record, yeah.

I think it was like 44 seconds. Insane. It was way under a minute, yeah. That was very impressive. We started questioning everything. KB brought up a really good point. When we let in outsiders, it's bad because then we just realize,

oh, we suck at everything. Yeah, the average human. Yeah. We're so bad. I feel like Matt's going to align with us. Yeah. Matt looks like he works here. Yeah, I think he could just walk in every morning. Yeah.

He was sub-50 into the room. Holy fuck, dude. That's insane. Then I was like, what, five minutes? Yeah, five minutes. The dogs one was very, what, five minutes? Yeah, five minutes. The dogs one was very good. You're not a dog guy, I assume. Not a dog guy.

Yeah. Not a country. Just everything. Not getting Labrador. Older Retriever. Older Retriever was crazy. Bulldogs. Yeah.

What else was it? It was pretty much like the worst lineup I probably could have got. Yeah, because basketball. The basketball question is actually very hard. I can't think about it. Yeah, that's hard. Germany, when you're getting the Hitler hit over it. He's not a Nazi.

I was just stressed out. I didn't know what category that was for. Also, blue Gatorade. There's six different blue Gatorades. I had no idea. Glacier Freeze. Cool Blue. Arctic Blitz. Just Barry. Arctic Blitz. Icy Char. I like how Steven was just yelling Josh Jacobs over and over for the Raiders And there's also a fullback category

A fullback? Yeah I didn't even see that My lady My lady roll up is in the ER right now Oh shit She's a nurse Can she zoom in? Wait she's a nurse Oh fuck you Can she zoom in Wait She's a nurse Yeah

I think RN Nurses are hot dude Nurses Nice Nurses are kind of freaky Nice Yeah

I've been I've been broken by nurses before They'll fuck you up Wait do you still have your girlfriend No What happened It was us dude We happened

Oh yeah We made the big thing Did that really end it Definitely added layers to the whole No. What happened? It was us, dude. We happened. Oh, yeah. We made the big thing. Did that really end it? Definitely added layers to the whole thing. Oh, shit. Did you guys ever reach boyfriend-girlfriend status? No.

Not officially, but kind of on the cusp? Yeah. It was very close. And then how did it end? Never ends good. very close and then what it then how did it end bad okay never ends that's good yeah that was that you used every facial expression to describe bad oh she said oh she said not nurse river north okay never mind oh all right wait she's wait she said i'm in rn you thought that meant er i thought she was a nurse it's an all-time MOOC episode. That's funny. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm an ER. Yep. Oh, fuck.

She's a nurse. Oh, damn. I didn't know that. Why did you say ER? I added that tidbit for sure. RN. Doing a little improv. Okay, let's do this, Matt.

You got this. Ooh, Matt's got a nice throw. Matt could be a sneaky one. I think Matt's going to struggle with the soccer. I mean, if you told me Matt edits advisors, I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he sits next to Quiggs. Yeah, he's a genius.

Yeah. All right, TJ, you ready? Yes. Also, I think that was the first time anyone's ever gotten the corner on the first one. First one, oh, yeah. That was insane, Brett. Basketball, I think, how many total basketball misses? I think he had three shots total. That was insane, Brett. Basketball. How many total basketball misses? I think he had three shots total.

That was insane. I mean, sucks you're dumb. Sucks I'm dumb. Exactly. Suck it's stupid. I was pitiful. What's up? Are you a CFA?

No. No, okay. Just a finance. You wanted to talk numbers with him? Yeah, we talk numbers. Yeah. Do a little accounting work, you know? Yeah.

Excel. I've heard about you in the accounting world. Yeah? You made waves. Are you sick at Excel? Yeah. Did you see the Excel championships? I did see that.

That looked pretty cool. That was crazy. They couldn't use a keyboard, right? Or no? No mouse. No mouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shows how much I know about Excel.

If you use a mouse, you're a bitch. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Is that a fact? Big facts. I had my senior at work took away my mouse my first couple months at work. He just took it? Yeah.

Was he like, this is mine now? Yeah, he said, learn the shortcuts, buddy. That sucks. Okay, let's do it. Matt, you're playing for a stake. he is the combination of every barstool employee he's ai barstool yeah i'm seeing we have an ai generated barstool guy there there's barstool yo barstool that's so perfect yeah that's barstool barstool. Yo, Barstool? That's so perfect.

Yeah, that's Barstool Barstool. That's his nickname. We need that account. We need that IP. Don't get him around for Soli. He'll be fucking... Soli will be starstruck when he sees that. He's like, dude, are you Barstool Barstool?

All right, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's a weird throw. I don't get what he's doing here. There we go. Hey, you're good.

I think soccer might be in it. Steven, stay out of the way of the camera. Oh. Oh, it's a rocket. Off the foot. Help get balls, but just don't stand right around in front of the camera. Oh, he's going high. Right now, he's a little behind pace of Brett.

Will he be able to make it up? Oh. Oh. Holy shit. I knew soccer was going to be his. What's he doing? Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, man. Let's get it. Oh, sick. What a save. Oh, he got it.

No, he didn't. He didn't? No, that hit the top. Brett was saying glacier freeze by now. Oh, dickhead. Oh, no. Alasek just made a sick save. He must have.

Oh, right in his penis. Come on. Crosser, there it is. There it is. Yeah. He's winded. He's jogging like a barstool. Barstool, barstool.

Barstool, barstool Barstool, barstool That's the funniest fucking shit Oh, nice Nice Oh, it's too hard Oh, he pissed Oh, man, he's trying to put a hole in the wall That was a good bounce back

He's throwing it so hard. Oh, no. I think the move might be hold the ball sideways and, like, push it. By the way, he still very much could beat Brett. Oh, yeah. He could go take a shit. It might be inverse Brett. Oh, no. The inverse Brett. If might be inverse, Brett. Oh, no. The inverse Brett.

If you guys combined. Yeah. If you get to your exact score, but it takes him four minutes to finish the court. Oh, Jesus Christ. It was so funny when you asked if Matt had seen Brett out, and they go to completely different bars. Yeah. Oh, no. I know the feeling.

Was Malasek in goal shoeless? Oh, my God. Brett. Matt. Matt. Barstool, Barstool. Barstool, Barstool. Oh, he's good.

No, he's going to push. This is bad. Historic football fan. It's somehow getting worse. He forgot midway. The crazy thing is when he was playing catch with Steven, he had a nice spiral. Yeah. And then he decided, he's like, I'm going to throw it 1,000 miles an hour.

Yips. If he was in the chat right now. Oh, my God. Brushing himself. Barstool. Barstool. Really struggling. I love that. Oh, man. Jay in the head. Barstool, Barstool. Really struggling. I love that name.

Oh, man. Jay in the head. Barstool, Barstool. This is tough to watch. Barstool, Barstool, no. Our brand, our brand. 248. Sure, yeah. Are we Cam Newton-ing him yeah i don't know this is bad one more

no we ain't we're letting him go no let him go let him go no let him go he represents the chat yeah this is the chat chatter doing it yes he he is going on behalf of the entire chat yeah top comment can't believe barstool barstool is this no he's missing that way too He is going on behalf of the entire chat. Yeah. Top comment. Can't believe Barstool Barstool is this. No, he's missing that way, too. He went Dr. Pepper mode. He went Dr. Pepper mode.

There it is. Hey. Shit. He's still on pace. He's on pace. He's so winded. Oh. Okay.

Oh. That was a hard break. It's not a bad shot. No. Mook, it's bad. It's not a bad shot. It's not good though. He's lefty? Yeah. Oh no.

Oh no. Yes. Here we go. He's there. Chance he beats Brett. I don't know if he can speak after this. He's got a chance. He beats Brett. I don't know if he can speak after this. Oh, my God. He's got to hurry up.

You can beat Brett. Have a shot. Seven AFC playoff teams last year. Massachusetts. That's not in football. Dudes love to say the hardest state. Yeah. That's actually a good place.

Montana. Yeah. Michigan. Missouri. Maine. Yeah, that. Missouri. Maine. Yeah, that's... Seven AFC playoff teams last year. Jags.

Chargers? No. Didn't they lose on like a five thing? Jaguars. Wait. Uh-oh. What the fuck? What year was this made?

2023? 2022, 23. Ford. Last year. Chevy. 2022, 23. Ford. Last year. Chevy. That's bullshit. No. 2012 Heat starters.

Okay. Kobe. LeBron. Kobe. LeBron. Oh, that's bullshit. Dwayne Wade. Chris Bosh.

That should be it. That's not. Wade. Try just Wade. Wade. Just do Wade. Just do not. Wade. Try just Wade. Just do Wade. Just do Wade. No.

Bosh. Bosh. Oh, you got fucked. All right. I think it's D-W-A. He still won. He did? Yeah, he won.

Oh, shit. 538? I'm not going to lie. That football pass was awful. Yeah. Thanks for not lying to us. Yeah, we actually had no idea. That was going'm not going to lie. Football tennis was awful. Yeah. Thanks for not lying to us. Yeah, we actually had no idea. That was going to be our first question.

How do you think the football pass went? I'm so out of shape. This is Barstool for you. Yeah, Barstool Barstool. That guy's sitting around. Barstool Barstool. Fucking shop. Well, you get a steak. A hungover guy Barstool. Fucking shop. We get a steak. A hungover guy had Shake Shack this morning.

You're us. House open. Oh, it's wide open if anyone wants to go in. Oh, man. Dude, you were chucking that football. I got a pretty good arm. I just got the yips. Like Chuck Knobloch over there.

Yeah, that was. It got. I actually, I don't know if you heard, but I tried to call it and everyone told me no. pretty good arm i just got the yips like chuck knoblock over there yeah that was it got i i actually i don't know if you heard but i i tried to call it and everyone told me no no i mean that's yeah i was trying to oh shit that's the beef what's the beef doing here what's going on, Beef? My man. What a day. Wait, is this a planned roll-up? Well, I heard someone was, Kate was giving a woogas to someone in the chat, so I rolled up. That's true.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Which of the two did you pick? And it had to be Matt, right? No, it wasn't him. It was like Matt, a wooga Matt. That guy definitely ripped six. The hot guy over here. Wait, Kate was actually doing that?

Yes. Yeah, it's not cool. Wait, she said Aluga Matt. That's not cool. Defend the honor. I get it. We've just walked in, Kate's sitting at the chat. Wait, wait a fucking second.

I got to get my ass in there. Yeah, it was your neighborhood, so. I love it. We'll just roll up. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. That's a prime roll up. That was a good roll up. All right, I got to go. Oh, no. All right, babe. That'll just roll up. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. That's a prime roll up. That was a good roll up.

All right, I got to go. Oh, no. Bye, Beef. That's what he does. Wait, I have one question. That's his thing. I have one question, Beef. You got to sit down for one second because we talked about this on part of my take and

I would love to join, but you and PFT bought a magnet fisher? Yeah, bro. We bought two his and hers magnet fishers. I want to attend whenever you guys. Dude, I'll order you one right now. Yeah. We said magnet fishing and hers magnet fishers. I want to attend whenever you guys. Dude, I'll order you one right now. Yeah. We said magnet fishing. I went on Amazon.

Bam. It was there the next day. 700 pound payload per magnet fishing rod. So you're magnet fishing in Chicago. In the Chicago River. Yeah, guns. Guns. Guns, yeah.

Well, so I started following this magnet fisher. And I was like, this is cool. What can you find? I've been on that. What is it? It turned into just a guns in the river show. Yeah, like in Amsterdam, they do it where they have a barge and they just pull all the bikes out of the bottom of the river. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Yeah, so I figured we're going to get a lot of guns out here. Yeah. Hot. Yeah. Oh, my God. Fired up. It might be like loaded, though.

No. Well, dude, the guy I watch found a pipe bomb. What? Yeah. And that's what really made me order it for sure. Yeah. Because you've never i mean what's more electric yeah i mean i tried to make one when i was little but i wasn't very

good i didn't get there that'd be nice that'd be good fun good yeah so yeah are you in big cat we're getting yes okay 100 do you have any good recos on where to go we can find some places okay the chicago river they might they might try to stop us overpassing yes that looked like a good place yeah what's that legality what is it so the guy i watch calls the cops after he finds a gun but i don't know if we're gonna do that so our guy's doing it to try to obtain valuables uh for sick views on the internet yeah yeah he's not trying to solve crime no and the guns the guns The guns True Guns are expensive bro Pipe bomb Cool pipe bomb man Alright I'm out Alright beef Unbelievable cameo

100 10 out of 10 What a legend Oh man that was It's been so much fun Yeah Wow You trying to fucking

My chest hurts so bad It's gonna hurt for like an hour You might need to get your nurse here Should I call Call the nurse? You got a high under cardiac arrest. I'm not lying. Want my inhaler?

No, I'm good. Okay. We got steak here. And I'm going to eat it. Yeah. That's a heart attack. What a roll up by the beef. You got to do the gauntlet.

Dude, be honest. Are you trying to fuck Kate? Because we'll fuck you up. That's the beef's girl. All right? Respect. But you would, though, because she's also – okay, all right. Yeah.

That's a fine line. Yeah, you have to say you respect women. I would, but I would never. Yeah. I wouldn't, but – He has a wife. If the Beav horrifically died in magnet fishing accident. Chances are.

I'd take care of that family. Chances are. Chances are. I'd take care of that family. Chances are. Chances are. Magnet fishing is going to rule. If you guys combined, you'd be the perfect player. We've had a good time. Yeah. The duos.

You started missing the wall. Yeah, I was missing. And you were trying every single way. I couldn't figure it out. No, it's the worst. That's the most frustrating thing of the gauntlet for sure. For sure. I don't know, man.

You're sweating a lot. I'm like. Well said. I don't know what you want me to say. Yeah, no, there's nothing to say. You just got to catch that breath. Catch that breath. Oh, my God.

Did we do the Hanunad? No. Do it. We've been sipping them. Tangerine's delicious. Tangerine's fantastic. Anyone want another? Yeah, throw me a tangerine if you could.

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and it will find a pack near you, the Locator. Hey, Nicky. Yes, sir. Thanks, bud. Oh, nice toss. Thank you, brother. Yeah, sure. Say, hey, Nicky. Hey, Nicky. Yeah, sure. Say, hey, Nicky.

Hey, Nicky. Yeah, man. Hell yeah. Thanks. Oh, perfect. So now what do we do? Man, I don't know. I want more dudes.

Yeah. Kind of. That was a lefty when the beef showed up. Yeah. That was beefy. Yeah. Yeah. Everything he does is beefy as fuck. Yeah, the magnet fishing.

Come on. I'm worried that Barstool Barstool might be in trouble. Die? We're like. Talking about him? Yeah, dude. Yeah. He's struggling to get air.

Oh, it's bad. Yeah. Oh, fuck. He walked in saying, I'm going to be like Brandon. I'm sitting in Brandon's chair. That is very Brandon. Yes. I know.

I am Brandon. Do a little bit of physical activity and then. I'm done. Out like Brandon. I'm sitting in Brandon's chair. That is very Brandon. Yes. I am Brandon Walker. Do a little bit of physical activity and then out of shape. You'd really ruin this whole thing if you died. But don't be a hero and try to survive. Yeah, do whatever you want. Are you struggling over there? Yeah, you're barely up there. Oh, Brett's fine.

Yeah, mentally. Yeah, it's brain. You've got a nosebleed trying to name golden retriever Hitler Hitler screaming it out Should we spin our wheel TJ just in case? Yeah that wheel's fucked Roll up roll up roll up We might just have to put it on the regular wheel I love it Might just be a Friday only thing

Yeah Oh this sucks We need to reset so fucking bad Here it is Yes Thank you We did it We need to reset so fucking bad Here it is Yes Thank you We did it We fucking did it

We fucking did it We still have to spin one more time But we did it We'll be good No chance it lands on wet with all those other dry slices Name wheel again. Oh, I wonder if my roll-ups got here. My fruit roll-ups.

That might just... Ordered a bunch of gated. Yeah, no, it's completely moot. I ordered 50 roll-ups. Yeah, but the dudes are just going to roll up. Yeah. This feels like tradition. It does.

I love it. I love this, yeah. Let's see. Do they get here? And you got... I'm sure your DMs right now are just like, I'll roll up for you. I have like 50. You gotta be kidding me. Oh my god. You gotta be kidding me.

Alright, wet. Alright, yeah, wet. What the fuck? God damn it. How is that possible? What the fuck? Dude, it's gotta be me. What the fuck? It's it's got to be me.

What the fuck? It's going to be you. It's going to be you. It's the barstool. How is that possible? Fuck. Well, the beef's got to be on the wheel. Beef's on the wheel.

Beef's on the wheel. It won't be him. No, he's too cool. Yep. He looked, I mean, very cool. He looked cool as hell. Did you see his shoes? He had like He-Man Pumas on. They were hairy as fuck.

They had the, I think it was in a muck. They were hairy. He had the hairiest orange shoes. What does that mean? He had orange hairy shoes on. Wait, what? I want to see them. Like there were stray dog hairs on them?

No, like pretty, like it almost looked like it was made of a Muppet. Shows the beef. And the thing is, the beef is that personality where you don't notice the hairy orange shoes no i was just transfixed on the chain and the nerd of course of course nobody else can do that kate's so fucking lucky she is oh my god have you guys brett and matt have you thought about getting wet is that that's gonna be bad i feel like a quarter wet already i feel like it's good for you really bad for brett barstool barstool will be fine have you thought about pissing your pants oh yeah kyle you're again i think you'll be fine

with that yes it was a pathetic show this is the i think it's the most angry fans have ever been at you yeah should i get another one what did i want here now well what we want another no let's save it let's save it we got your roll up okay we got to beat lauderdale at some point yeah that motherfucker talked about he heckled me at a comedy show before really yeah lauderdale he was in uh scottsdale he is the one who gave me the arrowhead chain oh lauderdale's a good guy. He's been around. I didn't know his last name was Lauderdale. That's a cool last name.

It's a great last name. Yeah. Badass. All right, TJ, I guess. Let's get this over with. I cannot believe that just happened. Yeah, because Nick, you said it wouldn't happen. Yeah, you did. You did say it wouldn't happen, and then it did. Look at those. Those are hairy. Yeah, look at the tongues said it wouldn't happen. Yeah, you did. You didn't say it wouldn't happen, and then it did.

Look at those. Those are hairy. Yeah, look at the tongues. A real hairy tongue. But the coat is awesome. The hair is awesome. I kind of want to fuck the beef. The way he talks.

Yeah. I think I'm into the beef. I would. Hey. Let it go. Hey, Kate, a wooga. Yeah, a wooga the beef. Aooga the beef awooga the beef oh man let's

do this yeah let's let's fucking figure it out man Matt you've hardly touched your steak what are you dying

good answer just coughs back I don't know all steaks are good. Here we go. It's the regular guys on the wheel. No chance it could be us, right? No shot.

There we go You motherfucker You're the one who created this So much bullshit Oh I hope it's Titus Nope Nah You're fucked Nah son

You're so fucked Fuck Nah son That was a big mistake That was the biggest mistake you've ever made Besides getting fired yesterday. You're fired. Teej.

Yay. Brett is not. I don't think Brett. This is going to ruin Brett. This could ruin Brett. Do you have a lot of work to do today? Yeah. Yeah.

Brett, you could be dismissed If you don't get this Cause I I do feel bad If people start asking Where the fuck you are But it would be funny If you had to go back To work wet

Ah Go Ah Ah God damn it Barstool Barstool Matt's already wet

The beeve would jump In the river Yeah If it like Pull his car over Or he'd like Give me like give me a gallon of water from the Vatican I could do something crazy yeah I just tightest fucked himself real oh yeah like real bad why cheering you thought it was you oh yeah fuck that Fuck that! Fuck. Let's go. Huge. Who fucked who? That's got to suck. Spilling.

Spilling. Spilling everywhere. Oh, your phone. Dude, that's the roll-up phone. Oh, my God. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. They make those things so good now.

Wait, is Kyle going to have to do piss redemption? The chances of that is 1 in 64 times 1 in 64. Oh, Mook. What happened, Mook? I got wet. Brett. Brett. Big tough for Brett.

Big tough for Brett. I love this final matchup. If you need to go back to work, you can. I'll go. All right. Okay, cool. I'm like secondhand nervous for you. I know that's a ridiculous emotion to have,

but I also like remember being in a real job and being like We forget every once in a while. Yeah, like being gone and then just being like where the fuck were you? The worst feeling ever. Can you do this right now? Yeah, the worst feeling. Alright, so the beef's up 1-0.

Oh no. Oh no. 2-0. Now this would be the wheel like, would be the most all-knowing wheel of all time. No chance. There is no chance. Truly none. There is no chance. Come on!

Come on! Come on! I can't be subjected to this. Come on! There is not a chance. No! They teased us! They teased us!

Thank God. They teased us! Oh, fuck. Now I just have to get fucking wet. Yeah, you do. Yeah. You could just piss your pants. Oh, my God.

That would have maybe been, like, a top three moment. Yeah. Oh, my God. The odds. Absurd. Look at that. Look at that. The last time we'll see him dry folks oh man what a friday damn it what a friday this is what it's like in my life yeah by far

how long are you gonna be out of commission i shouldn't be laughing how long you going to be out of commission for? Months. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Your shoulder's going to be sore tomorrow. Yeah. Everything. Disappointing.

Oh, my God. TJ, can you do AI Barstool Barstool? It's him. No, I know. I want to see how close we can get to it. Maybe throw in some keywords too Help us get close That was a big spill Dude it was like a full coffee

That was coffee? Coffee and high news Oh no Was that because he Fucked the microphone? Yeah Yeah I got excited

Because when you said I fucked up You were right And I was really nervous Did you said I fucked up, you were right. I was really nervous. Did you apologize? Oh, sorry, Mook. That was nice. That was a good moment.

That was a lot of liquid. So much liquid. It didn't stop. It was all on your phone. My girlfriend's call. Oh, your girlfriend's calling? Yeah, yeah. Pick it up. Jenna, you're live on the Yak. What? Oh, your girlfriend's calling? Yeah, yeah. Pick her up. Pick her up. Jenna, you're live on the yak.

What? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Live on the yak. Are you a bird's nest? No. Oh, no.

You're such a guy. Both of those answers were bad for you. Wait, you're actually on the app? Yeah. Tell her the cream that God sent you. Yeah, cream pod God, Mook, sent me. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's not good, but I'll talk to you later.

Wait, wait. Big cat. Is she hot? No. Oh, dude. You fucker. Jenna, what's up? Oh, sorry.

She hung up. Probably the doctor. Jenna? No, on fucker. Jenna, what's up? Oh, sorry. She hung up. Probably the doctor. Jenna? She's a doctor. No, on my phone. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, man. Incredible.

Those two answers were really bad. What? Are you at Bird's Nest? Are you at Bird's Nest again? Have you been at Bird's Nest? Sounds like that's your office. Yeah, I think we nailed that. It's your office.

Clearly not the gym. Oh, look at this. Yeah, you kind of top right. They give us way too much credit for working out. Yeah. Yeah, who is that? That's me. That's Nick Torady.

Yeah, that might have just pulled images of me. Barstool, Barstool. Hey, Hank. I think there's somebody you need to meet. Come here, boss. I'm here, boss man, VP of content. Henry Lockwood. Good angle. Yep.

Where is he? Where is Hank? What up, Hank? Do we have any job openings right now for just like Barstool guys? Guys that look like it. Yeah.

I don't believe so, but. Damn it. This is barstool, barstool. This is barstool, barstool. That's Brett. That's Matt. That's Brett. This guy walked in, and I was like, there's no way that's a guest.

And they're like, no, it's just a guy. Yeah. The way Mook went to grab him, I was like, who the fuck was that? No, it's a game I invented called Roll Up, Roll Up, Roll Up. And if you lose, you have 15 minutes to get a random person to roll up. And if you don't, you have to eat 50 roll-ups. For roll-ups? Yeah.

What about rolling up? No, the other thing is you could roll up down the court. Maybe roll up times down the court. Maybe roll up times four. Oh. But yeah, we should you should... He's Barstow. Alright, yeah, we'll talk after. Yeah, Barstow. We'll meet after the act.

If we need an oil and gas attorney. He's a lawyer. Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. It's so wet. Kyle came running in here and just wiped out so badly. Oh, my. Kyle tried to do the Tom Cruise thing. It was a comic book. He had a comic book fall. And slide in.

Oh my god, dude. I fell out of my chair. What's up, B? I fell out of my chair. His shoes are off. That was one of the... That was a comic book fall. You got the whole thing, Connor?

Yeah, I got it. Send it to TJ. Send it to TJ. Oh, my God. Connor, tell him what else. What? He pissed himself. Oh, he did?

Yeah. Just for Connor. I saw it, yes. Wait, but like... Did you go in the shower? What? Did you go in the shower? Pee in the shower?

No, did you shower? No, I actually didn't. How'd you get that wet? You're so wet. Did you shower? I was like, okay. But before he got in the shower, he showed me. He did piss himself.

Oh, I can't wait to watch the video. Was it a lot of piss? No, it was the same weak-ass splatter on my goo chair. Is that how you piss, man? Are you a shy pisser? I don't dribble, I guess. That's all you do. I don't run down.

Did you get drug tested? You had a path. Yeah, did you get drug tested when you were on the wrestling team? Oh, my God. Watch this. Worst day of my life. Can we listen to the sound when he runs? Quick get up.

You know he was embarrassed because he got up so fast. Quickest get up. Listen to him run in. That's like plankton. I know what you're going for, Kyle. Because Kyle is the wettest here. I have to uphold a reputation. Yeah, when he shows up after being wet, it is an instant laugh. So he was like, here comes my laugh.

And then you fell and it was like. I'm going to watch it again. I have to pee. Again? I have to keep it going. Don't slip. Oh, no. Yeah, be careful, bud.

Don't slip. The sound it was making. Holy fuck. That was incredible. What a day. What a day. I know. I love these Friday shirts.

Look at his chair. Come out of nowhere. Look at his chair. His chair is so wet. It's so wet. Play it again, TJ. One more. I need to hear the sound.

I need one more time. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, the sound was so good.

Thanks, Connor. Thank you, Connor. Oh, my God. Good day. This has been, I've been crying laughing. Matt, let's hit birds nested let's hit birds yeah you're checking in on you are you okay the lungs are gonna be pissed i legit might have emphysema that that answer without even smoking that answer from her are you at birds nest again i think i love your your default response is cough yeah but that is that was just uh that's a you you got a good girlfriend yeah she's good because it wasn't like get your ass

i was just these guys have met her i know where you are you're at bird's nest very nice person yeah she's great she watched the act she works okay. Okay, yeah, all right. She watches, though. Okay. I fill her in. She's a Dozen fan, right? Huge Dozen fan. Who's her favorite team?

I think she's at Experts. Probably the Experts. No, Frank and the Frankettes. There we go. That would have been very bad. No, she's not an Experts fan for one particular reason. Why? Brandon Walker?

Brandon Walker. Yeah. Did you guys go to the uh finals no but we watched it that's when she uh started to like it okay i was there you were there yeah let's go brett we're gonna i think it's gonna be same same place uh might be a different place but it'll be in chicago nice so like we're gonna i've heard some things about it too like yeah the live the live he said it i think on kirk show yesterday the live uh show or the the playoffs are all going to be taped here and then so it won't be like any chance of like spoiling all that shit i think it's like gonna be like sunday monday tuesday and then the finals will be that thursday all live yeah i so. It should be great. People will still be like, already seen it, 13-6, final score.

Yeah. It's always 13-6. Yeah, and I think it's only happened once. I'm going to fuck around and actually eat a booger during the live. You did on the last one. Again? I didn't actually do it. Again?

Two boogers? I don't think it's that bad to eat a booger. I'm going to make sure it's nasty. Barstool, Barstool. I do got to play for you, Big Cat. Oh. Uh-oh. All right, go ahead.

Stag Bowl. We got to take North Central and the over. All right. Oh, we got to figure out your parlay. Let's do that right now. Yeah. Sass gave me a couple picks, but I'm down to ride whatever. Brett, you a gambling man?

A little bit not not crazy amount though let's put these minds together yeah stag bowl is albany versus south dakota state no uh whose are those north central verse mine yeah they are those are the small ones i know they're too small but i bought them for it i don't know they might not have it no they do it they post those lines like late a couple hours before because they're so uh like someone will bet it and we'll move like five points gotcha wait so who am i taking north central and the over why she's got a hunch all right that's all i needed yeah no you just needed an answer well the the thing is it's

it's not like i now have a system it's matt's hunches yeah so i'm like so like i've already made that yeah i've made that into a system it's foolproof that is something i will bet with all right so what do you want to do mook how many let's start with how many so i'm torn because last time it was easier to do two long shots and go for the bread. I think I want to do at least three anytime touchdown scores. Okay, so three. Maybe four. So are you going to be here on Sunday?

Yeah, I'll be. All right, you'll be here on the stream. So I think we do two in the early games, one in the late games. I did have one stipulation. I want DeAndre Swift in it. Swift is my guy this week. So that's a Saturday. That's a Monday night. Monday night.

I think we gotta go four then. Okay. Too early Sunday? Too early Sunday. KB, do you have any hitters? Give us one. I have one going right now with Jacoby Myers. Well, just throw something out there, Mook.

I think DJ Moore's going to score this week. I agree. Man coverage. Oh, you want money. You need some. What do you think about Diggs? You need Latavius Murray. Yeah, we could do Diggs.

You want to do DJ Moore? I'll do DJ Moore with you, yeah. Let's do it. And then Diggs. And then I think you should do, your last one should be like one that we are pretty confident is going to score. Sunday Night Baltimore? I think you want to go afternoon.

Okay. Unless you want it. I mean, if you want all three times. Maybe Seedy Oh double up on that game Double up on that game That game's gonna be good Okay

Okay let's see what this is The games you think are gonna be good never are True So find one that's gonna be bad I think Dallas Buffalo's gonna be really good Alright let's see what this pays out This would be So if we did this Buffalo's going to be real good. All right, let's see what this pays out. This would be...

So if we did this, it's DeAndre Swift, Diggs, DJ Moore, CD Lamb. It would... You would win... I'll split. Yeah. Split? What was the... I got to pay you back for the thousands you lost. No, yeah.

I'm just figuring it out. It would be... That's really nice if you'd offer to split it. You'd win... That's sick. 1,800. 18,000, sorry. Oh.

18,000. Fuck you. 18,000. 18,000. Okay. Because it would win 36. You're already out of breath. Let's do it.

I don't want to push DJ Moore on you, though, because it's got to be your parlay, so figure out someone else, because I don't want to be dj more on you though because it's got to be your parlay so figure out someone else because i don't want to be blamed no no if dj more is the only one that doesn't hit you got like 10 free more bats that is i want to use your head i want to ride with you that sounds good yeah i want to ride with the boys okay it's in okay perfect and uh digs was a sass pick so we'll hold him on the ropes for that. We'll call it 20K because I'm going to put more of my own money on it. Let's do it.

It doesn't look good enough. Oh, shit. I accidentally just put in for $25,000. What do I want? A million dollars. That would be cool. Rich Mook would be the worst. I'd be a terrible person.

I think you'd live for like another week. Yeah. Yeah, because I disregard everything, every responsibility that I currently have, I think. Yeah. All right, Mook, it's in. Let's go. It's bumping up to 25. Oh, my.

All right, Mook. Because I put 2,000 of my own, well, it's all my own money. Am I going to fuck around and buy a house. I put $3,000 on it to win like $120,000. So you're going to get the... You just get the whatever, $30,000. What was the $30,000? You get $30,000. You get $30,000.

Well, if this hits, I'll be very, very happy. Can I hear the names again? Yeah. Thank you, Big Cat. Well, don't thank me because we haven't hit anything. Have these been like ruining your weekend? Have you just been nervous? Monday night was mentally draining.

Yeah, yeah. Like trying to calculate what I needed to hit, what didn't need to happen, two separate games. But it's so much fun. All right, so it's DJ Moore, Stefan Diggs, CeeDee Lamb, DeAndre Swift. Oh, in my head that they all will score. Yep. Those are touchdown scorers.

That's how I get it. Those are like too good of odds. And if it hits, Mook will get 30K cash. Jesus Christ. You just have to keep buying a bigger couch for your place. Yeah, you'll have to fill it up. I'll get rid of my mattress if this hits. Make all couches. I want that Swift cloud couch mattress if this hits. Make it all couches.

I want that Swift cloud couch. I like that. Devonta Smith has it, actually. I almost hit Smith on that 25th. That would have been scary. But now that I said it out loud. You can't die. No, I know I can't.

Swift is getting in. Che sent me some data today. Seahawks give up a ton of rushing touchdowns, and Swift has been more than due. We're supposed to feed them this week. Is that true, Steve? Yeah, I do a weekly sheet and send them the touchdowns versus positions. You do a weekly sheet?

Uh-oh. It's a great sheet. Where do you put it? It's just on my computer. Do you want me to send it to you? Yeah. I want a weekly sheet. I can do that.

I want a weekly sheet. Of course. Oh, we have... Steven, I didn't tell you. We have an idea. We're going to do... I think Dave was saying for the playoffs

we're going to do a confidence pool for everyone in Barstow will be in. Be like 100 bucks, 150 bucks. And it's like, you know, you get... You can use every number once, 1 through 14, the playoff seed. So like your most confident game you'd put 14 on,

your least confident you'd put 1. And we're going to have Steven run it. And there's a, what, 75% chance he fucks us up? Oh, that's why I was asked to do it? Oh, yeah. Dave asked me yesterday. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's free content. Yeah, like he's going to fuck it up. He's going to have the wrong winner. He's not going to do it? Oh, yeah. Dave asked me yesterday. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's free content. Yeah, like he's going to fuck it up. He's going to have the wrong winner. He's not going to be able to track the picks. It's going to be great. Like, think about Data Day, but then he fucks it up for the entire company. That's going to be a lot of money on the line. Yeah, with a lot of money on the line.

That's awesome. You nervous, Che? Dave was explaining it to me yesterday, and I was like, all right, yeah, I can figure that out. But, yeah, I didn't realize I was – I thought I was selected due to my attention to detail. Yes, you were. I guess in a way, yeah. I guess I got a good point. Oh, man.

Yeah, it'll be fun, though. I'm pumped for Sunday. Yeah? Yeah. It's going to be fun. What are you going to do with your money? I think I was just thinking about this in my head. I'd hire a butler for a week.

We can't give this dude money. A butler for a week. I want like an Alfred. You want a butler for your studio apartment? Yeah. Yeah. Drive me around. To where?

I don't know. Laugh Factory. Yeah. Work. Drive me around To where? I don't know Laugh factory Yeah Work That's it I don't know It'll be perfect What a day What a week

Yeah Do you guys want to do anything else? I gotta piss I do too Part of me feels like This was like a 10 out of 10 yak Yeah it feels good

Don't even push I loved it This was awesome Everything was Hey he's back. Oh, never mind. Never mind. Never mind.

Never mind. No, it's too good. Do it again. Do it again. I feel like my... I feel like my four-year-old just being like, do it again. Do it again. Play it again.

All right, so next week, yeah, schedule is regular Monday through Thursday, and then Friday will be, yeah, Christmas special. Yeah. And then we'll be off until January 2nd. Oh, shit, so it'll be three weeks until the next live Friday show. Oh, we're back the 2nd. Yeah, true. Yeah, we're back.

Well, did you think we were working on the 1st? Oh, you thought we were working late. I'm coming back to Chicago before New Year's, actually. What was the... I thought we were off that week for some reason. I don't know. Are we? The first week of January?

Yeah. Shouldn't be. Steven? Are we off the first week of January? Yeah. Shouldn't be. Steven? Are we off the first week of January? I'm pissed. No way. The first week of January? Yeah.

No. I don't know. January 1st is off, and then the second, I think we're back, or it's the third. Bring your ass back to work, buddy. I'm going to be back. We're back the second. I'll be back. I'll be back.

That's like the most unheard of thing I've ever. And then, yeah. In the first week of January. I mean, we do get like July off. I thought we had Christmas. That's what I got confused with, the other shutdown. I thought we like shut down for two weeks or something. No.

You're going to work your dick off. Yeah. You're going to do it. Yeah. In the dead of winter. Yeah. With no holidays coming up. Yeah.

And you're going to enjoy it. Yeah. That's what we do. My buddy has a really good idea that we should adopt a two Christmas calendar where it's December 25th is religious Christmas. January 25th

is Santa Christmas. That makes a lot of sense. There is an extra holiday. Oh man. But then the winter is boring and sucks. New Year's and the next thing you're excited about. Yeah, but then you have another one. Right, but religiously. Oh, you guess you couldn't do taking the fun out of

fatter Santa Christmas? Fatter Santa Christmas. Yeah. I'd pour that. Skinny Santa Christmas, fat Santa Christmas. There we go. That's good. Should Skinny Santa be July? for that skinny santa christmas fat santa christmas there we go that's good yes it should skinny santa be july no skinny santa will be december 25th fat santa will be january 25th okay deal and then in february 25th we'll do black santa yes yeah done yeah yeah no that this stretch when we get back from then until conference championship week

it's brutal it's always yeah it's like uh saint patrick's day is like the day where you're like all right life is back yeah is that true in all line of work like uh like do you guys and don't ask me like january through mid-march you're like the, this fucking sucks. That has to be the truth. It has to be. When you leave work, it's dark out. You get to work, it's dark. You get to work, it's dark, cold, yeah. No holidays.

No holidays is the part that sucks. Because we were just debating the seasons the other day, and I was like, I don't officially start winter until January 2nd. Because December is holiday time, where it's like, you can't officially start winter until January 2nd. Because December is holiday time. Where it's like, you can't be cold and miserable during the holidays. Yeah. The other day I woke up and I was like, God damn, Chicago winter is kicking my ass. And then I looked at the calendar and I was like, winter hasn't even started.

It's been 50 degrees. It's 50 degrees today. It's a beautiful day. I wore Crocs to pick up sushi last night. Yeah. Yeah. You okay? No sauce. I don't think that's a weather thing. I think that's more like pick up sushi last night. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't think that's a weather thing. I think that's more like. That's a you. Yeah.

Yeah. I was in sweats. Yeah. It felt good. You had an all-time MOOC episode today. Somebody called it in the chat when the show started. Yeah. I didn't tell you that. Yeah. Someone was calling it. Did one put the pressure on you? It was Matt. I was laying on the couch just being like, pick me, pick me.

You were the sass meme? And then he didn't Wait you had Oh yeah I thought you were a late DM I was late DM But I just thought you might remember me Oh I remember you almost gave me an Xbox How could we forget you?

Yeah I still have that I've had that all packaged up ready for MOOC Says I don't need it anymore No I did not say that Wait you were buying Are you a sugar daddy? No I was going to give him my Xbox for free all packaged up ready for mooc says i don't need it anymore no i did not say i had already wait you were buying them are you a sugar daddy no i was gonna give him my xbox for free someone else already gave it to me i was literally giving a free xbox because my girlfriend was like we don't use this thing oh oh wow i think you're always at bird's nest uh all right so yeah everyone have a

great weekend thank you brett thank you matt This was a very, very fun episode. Shout out. Yeah. Appreciate you guys. Thank you, Kyle, for following. I'm going to need that. Can you, TJ, can you text me that one with the sound effect? Athletic fall.

It was. It was incredible how I pivoted right back up. You could tell the embarrassment with how fast you got up. How's your ass feeling right now? Because you got that. We've been talking about your strong ass. You get, you know, a lot of meat back there. oh it's fine yeah yeah a lesser man yeah exactly a lesser man would be hurting right now i'd still be on the ground you look a little ass feet my feet are

and these sandals these flip-flops that i bought you got small. You look Asian. But they fit. Hardly. They look like they're painted on. What are those? They look like K-Bal buns. These are nice. These are my nicest piece. That's not your nicest piece. My nicest footwear.

What are they? Brand black. Oh, that's the shoes I'm wearing. Right now? Yeah. You guys... What the... Me and cats.

Yeah. That's the first time you said that. Kyle your ears are tiny they're so small yeah i can't wear socks with them they're very comfortable shoes a lot of my shoes are there on the same wave yeah you've gotten the shoes i haven't gotten the shoes they're so comfortable yeah yeah i might get those legit the only problem is they like don't make enough of them really they're exclusive i they're not like that expensive but for some reason they're Yeah Yeah I might get those They're legit The only problem is They like don't make enough of them Really They're exclusive I

They're not like that expensive But for some reason They're Yeah I like them I like keep looking for more It's my style Yeah Yeah

Yeah Get yourself a pair Alright See you everyone Monday Thank you Matt Thank you Brett Yep See you guys

Like the stream please Like the stream And also subscribe. It's the act Yeah, it's time to talk shop We're doing Yankees love It's the act It's the act Have a good weekend, everybody. If you're betting UFC,

Shavkat, Rakhmanov, in the distance, submission, KO, bet it all, Saturday. Happy birthday to Quiggs. Happy birthday, Quiggs. Stay safe this weekend. Love you guys. Bye.