The Yak - Rone & Sas Kill Family Feud Once And For All | The Yak 9-7-21

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, we're back. Hold for a moment. Someone, Phil, KB, for a moment. Someone fill it. KB, do your joke. There it is. He's going to do it.

He's been stuck all day. Is that a Korean finger trap? No, it's Chinese. Brandon, what kind of man did he get that from? Oh, yeah, it is. What kind of man made that? That's woven. It's probably a woman.

It's beautiful. Brandon, did you sanitize this mic? I did. It smells it. I'm did you sanitize this mic? I did. It smells it. I'm sorry. I was trying to help you out. Why? Are you sick?

I'm not sick. I'm tired. I sound sick. I'm tired. Sound sick? I'm tired. Sound sick. I'm very tired.

This guy's fucking sick. I'm very, very tired. But wait. There's no other signs of sickness, right? You don't have a stuffy nose. I don't. I don't. Why does your voice sound like that, though?

You are so sick right now. I'm not sick. Did you go down to the Pine Barrens? No, I didn't go to the Pine Barrens. You got stuck in the Pine Barrens? You went for a little hike with Tommy and you got sick. I didn't get sick. What, are they giving out pussy down there? Did you check out for tics? You would

die from a tic. Lyme disease would ravage your weak body. Lyme disease would kill you. I'm used to having ticks on me. My body isn't adjusted to not having ticks around. You'd look better with Bell's palsy. Yak's back. We're all here. First time in a long time.

Sass and Roan, great to have you back. Missed you, boys. We completely changed the show in your absence. That's much worse. What do you mean? We got addicted to playing Family Feud. We did it one day, and then we were like, we'll just play one game the next day. I heard. It's much worse. What do you mean? We got addicted to playing Family Feud. We played so much. We did it one day, and then we were like, we'll just play one game the next day.

Every episode, the entire show was all Family Feud. I think we reached the limit where people kind of started to turn on us for it, but we were having fun, so that's the most important part. But the rule is, going forward, if there's ever a perfect five. Natural five. Natural five of this group, you're allowed to play Family Feud. Who's the Steve Harvey? It's the computer. The computer's Steve Harvey.

I kind of want to play a game to show them. Hear me out. They're new. We can't break our rule. They have no idea what we're talking about. They don't understand our references. No, we can't break our rule. We're not going to break our rule. So five is family feud. You don't have to play it, but you're allowed

to play it. I thought it was required. But we can have family feud talking points like, Sass, what is a fish you wouldn't like on your sushi? This is just me small talking with you. Bass. Bass. But yeah, the game is a great game and it's also like I wouldn't even say vaguely misogynistic.

It's pretty misogynistic. We'll fill in the blanks if need be. What was the one where it was like, name a profession a woman can have that starts with a D, and we didn't get doctor. No, no, no. You didn't get it. We tried guessing durse, but we didn't get doctor. Also, name six adject. You didn't get it. We tried guessing Ders, but we didn't get doctor. Also named six

adjectives starting with C to describe a woman. Yeah, and it was all chatty, complaining. No, there was no charisma.

There was no charitable charm. None. But yeah, so that was last week. Also, Frank has been suspended again for one.

He didn't come in on Thursday. What? Okay, raise your hands if you agree with the suspension. I don't. Nick doesn't. Okay, so. Why not, Nick?

What's the dissenting opinion? Because what if it was us? What if we got stranded in Jersey? Wait, did he get stranded? He didn't let us know. I was in Jersey as well. Did he let any of us know? No.

All right. He also posted a hot dog review. He posted a hot dog review that day? Yes. During the act. During the act. On a Thursday. How do we know that wasn't pre-recorded? He takes wild at it, though.

He doesn't. He live tweeted it. He live tweeted it. Yes. Say that didn't happen. Would you still want him suspended? Hand up. Hand up.

You're in. You're in. So the rule is. I thought he was flooded in. How we're going to do it is when the Dolph it is after the Dolphins win their first game, the next Thursday after that, we will hear Frank's case in a Supreme Court style, and then we can continue the suspension or not. We let him try to unsuspend himself by beating Kyle one-on-one in Family Feud,

and he crushed Kyle. Just killed him. And that's where we ended the show. He won his freedom. It was an electric moment. And then the floods. And then the floods, but he didn't let us know that he wasn't going to be here. He didn't get any damage.

How were the floods? Some people got their lives a little bit ruined. King of New York, yeah, just wasn't here. I fled the scene. He's like Chris Christie on a beach. I mentioned it, but my half bathroom had a leak. Oh, God. I only have three now.

Sucks. And actually, you can still use the half bathroom, but it's like... Uncomfortable. What do you mean by a leak? Well, there's the ceiling. You left the sink on a little too long? No, the ceiling is, you know, it's got water damage. Oh, no.

Yeah. We'll take care of it. Yeah. We'll move is, you know, it's got water damage. Oh, no. Yeah. We'll take care of it. Yeah. We'll move some money around. We'll figure it out. This Thursday, though. This Thursday. That's data day.

It's data day. Yeah, I'm very excited. What's data day? Sash, you might want to sit down on that. You're not going to want to be on data day. Sash, if you can find something else to do that day, you might want to. What is data day? You were here for the last data day.

No, I don't think so. I don't think I was. It's Stephen Chay's predictions for the NFL season that he pretends that he's like an MIT computer scientist. I think I was. He pretends he's a computer. Yeah, he is. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch, you don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so data day will be Thursday. Steven did get like significant flooding. I've actually felt really bad for him. He's not here? Is he not here because of his? Yes.

Oh, wow. His house is like, his kids can't be in his house right now. Yeah, that's fucked. Yeah. Just complaining about it. So Jersey was worse than the city? Yes. Jersey was very bad.

He was like close to getting like rescued from his house. Dana Beers almost had to bring him a six pack. Yes, Jersey was very bad. He was, like, close to getting, like, rescued from his house. Dana Beers almost had to bring him a six-pack. Yeah, exactly. Dana Beers. What a guy.

That's crazy. Yeah, so that's pretty much everything But, Brandon, you didn't get any flooding? Were people expecting this or was this just, like, I live in a significantly

richer section of New Jersey than Steve and Jay or Frank. Wow. Very nice. I actually just live on a hill or Frank. Wow. Very nice. I actually just live on a hill. Oh, nice.

Got lucky. I think they were not expecting the flooding that happened, but yes, we all knew that there was a hurricane. Yeah. Did anybody else get the DM about Stephen Che?

What? What about it? You got a minivan. No, there was a guy that DM says, Brandon, you guys should call out Stephen Che for bragging a couple of months ago about buying a house got a minivan. No, there was a guy that DMed says, Brandon, you guys should call out Stephen Chaffer for bragging a couple of months ago about buying a house in a flood zone. Oh, I forgot. You know what?

I actually thought about it because I vaguely remembered that we had a discussion about flood zones and I couldn't remember exactly what was said. But the guy wanted me to... I figured we all got it. Well, no. If that actually happened, we have to make fun of him. Yeah. Yeah. I think he said it. He bragged about the value.

We were talking about, like, just don't buy a house in a flood zone. Yeah. I did. Yeah. All right, we got to find that clip, and we got to properly roast him, even though he almost, I think, like. He was literally evacuated in a boat. His entire life was destroyed, but.

Shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said those words. Not together. Do we have the clip of Stephen Chay in his minivan? Because if you're watching this and you're a woman, you might want to put in an extra tampon. The best contraceptive. Was this car purchased before or after the floods? I think it was actually after the floods with all his flooding. Yeah. Was this car purchased before or after the floods? I think it was actually after the floods with all his flood insurance money.

Oh, wow. It's a whole scheme Steven's been running. He's been waiting for the rain. Babe, how'd you get pregnant? You weren't a tampon. The best part is he bought this new minivan, and it's like I think every car in the world now has automatic open doors. Every single one after 98. He had to do the fucking half open.

He also has a haircut like Brad Pitt in a war movie or something. Yeah, it looks like he's in Fury. That's his tank. Yep, that is his tank. He'll die in that thing. Oh, my God. Yeah, so Stephen Chay's out. He'll be back, though, for Thursday, day to day.

Anything else that you guys missed? Where were you guys? I'm happy. I'm very happy to be back. It was awesome. We were in Milk Country in Kennesaw State. We were also down with Deion, or I was down with Deion in Mississippi and Florida. That clip of Gilly.

It was so funny. But, like, that was so fucking funny. I didn't know that was actually him at first. I thought it was a joke. Him getting a 15-yard penalty is so awesome. Yeah, that's so good. It would have been fourth down, too. They would have been off the field, even if there wasn't a turnover.

Thank God they won. That would have sucked. Did they win 7-6? Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah. Are we allowed to talk about the man in the lobby? I think that's our new security guy?

Yeah. One of them. We have a running one upstairs. Let's talk to him. So is he strapped up or no? Yeah, where did he serve? Will he let us hold his gun? I'd actually like Billy to wrestle him just to make sure.

It's kind of a stress test. Have him dress up as an intruder? John Taffer stress test. Let's have Billy wrestle this guy. What if he's like, I'm not allowed to leave my post right now? Oh, no. Because it would make the office susceptible. No? What did he say like, I'm not allowed to leave my post right now? Oh, no. Because it would make the office susceptible. No?

What'd he say? He said no. Confidential? Definitely not. I don't think so, buddy. You're going to be on the show. Is it definitely not? It's not really your call.

What? I mean, we have to make him come be on the show. Yeah, exactly. I already built rapport with him. Definitely not is very slight. He's hiding. Yeah, look, he knows where the cameras are. He's good.

That's because he's probably killed before. How do we know he's not the intruder? Fake an emergency. Fake a medical emergency. Or just someone rush the door. Absolutely fucking not. What if he's packing? Let's do like a full Red Rover.

Can we go out and just ask if he has a gun? Yeah, do it. And then if we can hold it. You ask. I'm afraid to. Oh, but it. And then if we can hold it. You ask. I'm afraid to. Oh, but you can't conceal carry in New York, right? No, I don't think so. It's like two-year mandatory minimums.

Should we ask why he won't be on the show? Sass wears long sleeves. Go ask him if he'll go out there with your finger trap. I already did it to him. You finger trapped him? That'd be bad for our security guard. He'd be stuck in it for the entire day. See, we have a security guard at Barstool HQ now.

So try something. Try something, bitches. If you feel froggy, then leap. Remember that Russian guy? Yeah, yeah. No more. He doesn't have a job. Perforated.

By the way, the Friday security guard was different. I'll just say, if you want to fit in here because you're coming on Fridays. Who was that? Who was the Friday security guard? Like Brandon's immune system. Significantly older and bigger. Slower. But you don't know.

He could have that old man strength. Could. But this guy won't even sit down. He's just pacing like a cage. Yeah. I'm concerned he's going to tire himself out by 4 o'clock. Get a chair grab a seat buddy

grab a seat and take a load off because it's gonna be a long day of nothing for you now he's just trying to fuck Ebony oh

oh oh no no tear him out because I don't want that go tell the guy that I don't need that Brandon just said

you're trying to fuck Ebony now come defend yourself come and defend yourself you stop trying to fuck Ebony for five seconds and come on the show? Come on our radio. Yeah, I'll go tell him that.

Just go up and be like, look, dude, it's not gonna happen. She's just not playing to you. Go. Go ask him. Wait, wait, but put it on speaker. Put yourself on speakerphone

and call in. Wait, can we get the camera over there because I'm thinking there might be some sort of like choke hold that goes down right now on Brandon. Hey,

could you quit trying to fuck Ebony for five seconds? Jesus. Yeah. from behind? Jesus. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. Nobody's good enough to be on the show.

I'm not good enough to be on the show. He's right. Damn. I gave a security guard a picture of Riggs and being like, this is the one

that's been stalking the office. Guess who comes in tomorrow? He does. He's stalking him. He's stalking himself. What? He said,

I'm not good enough to be on camera yet. He said, give me a couple weeks and I'll get more confidence. All right, I'll get him on. I'm going to go get him on in a second. I'm going to get him on with sweet talk. Trick him in there. Say there's a bomb threat in here. I have a Tommy story. Okay.

Yeah, please. There's a bomb threat in here. Okay, that's fine. Who said it? Tommy Walker? Who? Where did that come from? Tommy Walker.

How did he know about the Golden State? How dare you? How did he know about the Golden State? We didn't even have a Tommy Walker day. Where did that come from? Oh, it did. How did he know about the gold standard? How dare you? How did he know about the gold standard? We didn't even have a Tommy Walker day. Where did he hear it? We at least heard the story. He heard it from a show that's very smart, smartly written. What?

I don't remember the name of the show. Peppa Pig? Tommy, no, the gold standard. He's been asking me about the gold standard for weeks. What's the gold standard? Why have you been hiding it from him? So we went on a hike, right? Wait, what's the gold standard? I don't know.

It's something about money. It's also Coach K's autobiography. So there's a bunch of Jews in New York here. Gold standard. So we went on a hike up in New Jersey. Definitely what Brandon says. The giant stepfather. They work for Juco. Go to a Juco. Oh yeah, Juco is what

we call Seinfeld now. That's what Brandon calls Seinfeld. We were talking about Juco Trades. I saw Juco. I didn't. Juco is what we call Seinfeld. That's where we go to school. That's what Brandon calls Seinfeld. Yeah. We were talking about Juco Trades first. I saw Juco. I didn't know what it meant, though. It was out of context. Very bad to tweet.

And in. And with everything. I thought out of context it was equally racist. Okay. Tell us about your boy. The giant steps by the Hudson, right? No, we don't know that. 500 feet overlooking the Hudson.

No, you can't. Then you go down. You can't just say the giant steps by the Hudson. That's fine. I don't know that. 500 feet overlooking the Hudson, and then you go down. You can't just say the giant steps by the Hudson. That's fine. I just found them. And we're hiking. It's about a two-mile hike. The Hudson River, folks, is what he's talking about.

Between New York and New Jersey. Tell the story like a real person. And we're walking, right? And we're hiking, and we're going up and you got to go up some steps, down some steps, up some steps. You guys know how hiking goes. And there's very narrow narrow passageways he's in he's in deep in the story there's very narrow passageways right so you have to stop and let

people come by anyway we'd been walking about halfway and people coming back are very tired and we've been talking about oh these people look tired it's probably bad so this african-american couple comes up oh and they come up where they are their roots african or are they maybe caribbean ah this african-american couple walks up and and they're coming up the steps so we have to stop and we i even helped the woman up and she gets up and they're very tired and tommy we even talked to him hey how you doing this good trip so they get about 10 feet away they walk away maybe 10 15 feet feet. Tommy looks at me and says, Dad, how far do you think those blacks got? Oh, Jesus.

And you decided to repeat that. And I said, we don't say blacks. And then I told him the word we say. Oh, God. Jesus Christ, Randy. Oh, no. Oh, shit. No.

But when he said that, I corrected him. You know, I have to correct him. But when he said that, I was terrified. You know, I have to correct him. But when he said that, I was terrified. And the guy did turn around and he laughed. And so it was all good. But it was just a scary moment. It was quite a moment. Why was it scary?

Yeah, well, it was scary about it. Well, you don't want your kid to embarrass you in front of people. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So you set him straight. I did. I did. How many times did you use that word now?

Blacks? No. Oh, wow. He's not enough. Okay. He's getting there. Tommy Walker. We need to get him in here.

Yeah, we should have had Tommy Walker day. That's my fault. We didn't have one. We were busy. We should have one. We should have one. Let's have one. We should have one.

We can't have one now. He started school. What did you think about Ole Miss last night? It looked good. Yeah, Louisville's terrible. Are you bringing back Rasslin? I don't know. Are you doing another show?

No, I'm doing the college football show. The 80s show? Yeah, what's that? What's the 80s show? Don't bring that up. Wait, are you doing it? You tweeted it. No, no.

Yeah, I... What is it? It's just a joke. It's just a gag. Oh, it's like anus? Well, look where that one ended up. Me and Kirk have been saying we've already recorded it. We haven't done shit.

But his fans are so stupid that they... Whoa. What? What's he doing? He's checking the doors. He can't be on camera this much. He's doing an ocular check of the doors. Yep, all right.

So this door, it locks. I think something fell off the door. That would actually be really funny if he just sat there trying to push on the pole. That's our security guard. 45 minutes. God damn it. What the hell is this, Ebony? We really need to... Someone should sneak out and then try to break in.

Let's do that. It can't be one of us because I think he's already made a profile of us. He already sees us. It's not a hike if it was a staircase. It was a hike, Owen. No, he was just you were in a stadium no you went to a state that was one segment of the hike it was it was a very said it was steps up and then steps down it's too much it's boulders it's not like steps oh okay yeah i thought it was a carved no step no do we have a real long trench coat that two three people could fit under?

Let's put this guy to the task. I don't want to get people to come here, but I also wouldn't hate if someone randomly tried to... What are we paying them for? Stress test the system. It's like when Taffer has a stress test, he'll have a bunch of people under the bar, see if we can really handle it. He's over there texting right now.

Oh my god. Hope he's texting 911. Okay. Should we call it? Let me play some Family Feud. This is our first episode on Sling TV, is it not? It's our first episode on Sling TV. It's also our first episode post-feud where all I want to do is play Family Feud. Yeah.

So we're going to struggle with that. I forget how to talk. I converse. You probably should play. Tell us about your guys' trip. The Atlanta one? So you guys went down to Atlanta. Sure.

Then you parted ways. You went to L.A. You went to Mississippi. You went to L.A.? Yeah. To do what? Hang out with my friends. Oh.

Tim Dillon's out there. Nice. Tim Dillon flew you out. By the way, i did do a real talk thing on part of my take today might as well do it here too the um those stories about the fentanyl and the coke is so scary yeah so if i know we joke about like drug use but definitely get yourself a kit uh test to test it or narcon did Did you see that story? There was like four comedians that passed away this weekend because fentanyl laced in coke.

It's fucking terrifying. Yeah. So I think three passed away. A couple are in the hospital. So yeah. That's one of those ones where we joke, but use your head

and know that that shit's going on. It's fucking... Is that what got... Did that get Michael Williams to... They think possibly. I don't want to speculate, but... Did that get Michael Williams to... They think possibly. I don't want to speculate, but... Drugs should just be safe for people to do.

Well, they should be... I have a galaxy brain take is that someone's doing this... Whoever's going to benefit the most for legalization of all drugs is doing this on purpose to then legalize drugs and control that.

That's my take. Fuck. Not to be a downer. Yeah. But it should be legalized. Why not? All drugs? All of them. Cocaine just at the gas station? Talk nice

to me. Party time. Sounds fantastic, KB. Yeah. Yeah. It does. It does.'s true It does What else?

I don't want to do a joke to follow that So Try I've done a lot of fentanyl jokes Like what? A few Yeah They always hit

They do They sneak up on you Would you say they kill? Yeah That's not funny That's a good fentanyl No, it's a good fentanyl joke It's good That's not funny they kill? Yeah. That's not funny. No, that's a good fentanyl joke. It's good.

That's not funny. No, it's good. That's not funny. Disregarded it. We've got to be able to laugh at it. That's not funny. You've got to laugh at it. No. Not funny.

Bad. Well, let's talk football. Gambling game. You tap 2-0. You tap 2-0. One of only two teams that are 2-0 Coming off a double digit win Against a resilient Bethune-Cookman team

They didn't cover So fuck that It doesn't matter They got a 10 point win Against Bethune-Cookman They got a lot of tough kids From Dade County Who could have went

P5 if they wanted to Something's in the water In Daytona But we're heading up To Boise Sass The Boise Mountains Friday Night Lights. What are you doing?

We're taking on an 0-1 Bronco team. Love it. That's a lot going on. How about Kent State? They got whooped. They tried to cover. Toughness. Tried to cover.

Dustin Crum. He's got the package. Crumbo. He's got all the raw skills to be the next Josh Allen. He's got that type of repertoire of skills. He has 75% of the package. Crumbo. He's got all the raw skills to be the next Josh Allen. He's got that type of repertoire of skills. He has 75% of the package and the other 25 will come from playing

teams like A&M, Maryland, Iowa. Gonna be so battle tested. Dude, you're committed this year to football. I love this. You're tired of everybody else getting bites at the apple and you want a fucking snack. I know it. I bet you think El Paso is just an average-sized city, don't you, Roan?

Oh, yeah, Roan, where do you think? It is, right? No, it's right in the middle of the pack, right? What do you think it ranks, I'd say if there were 50 cities listed,

I'd say right about 25 would be my guess. What do you think, Sass, El Paso? How big? Big. Yeah? Yeah.

What makes you think that? Real big. What culture of El Paso's do you know? None. Yeah, you might know some of San Antonio's culture, but not El Paso's. Is El Paso right that big? I mean, I know Juarez is big.

Juarez is. It's right by Juarez. It's pretty much. They're sister cities, yeah. But Juarez gets all the attention. Juarez left. All right. Now, now.

Now, now, now. Oh, man. This is like coming back after not seeing each other for a really long time, trying to find that, rekindle that magic. Did me and Sash fuck up the chemistry of the show? No. It's more like, all right, well, I kind of forget, like, you know, how do we use the fuck?

How did you? My little show. Stop it. Who's back? I don't see who's back. It's TJ. It's obviously TJ. No, quit it.

Stop it. Quit it. What's up with this little TV? Stop it. Oh, that's for the Brandon Walker College Football Show. Oh, my gosh. I kind of just want to smash it into 100 pieces. Yeah, you should. I bet you can. It it into a hundred pieces. Yeah, you should.

I bet you can. It feels like a break room. I bet you can. It doesn't feel like a break room. Why a tiny ass TV? Why do you need that tiny ass TV? Throw something at it. I want to throw something at it.

So I can look at it when I'm doing a show. Why don't you look at that big one? Because they don't want my eyes to do that. You just broke that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all,

that's off my shelf. Don't just throw things off my shelf. Your shelf? Yeah. I'm going to rip that shelf off the wall. I'm going to break this fucking TV so bad. Yeah. Bro.

Yeah. Why? This ain't the college football show it here. This is a yak, bro. Bro. Yeah. Love it. Fucking love it fucking love it you gotta

can we pass out can we pass out some of those helmets no try that on Katie Stats worked very hard on this oh did she

this is actually my helmet this is my helmet oh why Raider yeah pop on that Heli brother pop it on Oh. Why? Raider. Yeah.

Pop on that heli, brother. Pop it on. Break some fucking helmets. All right. Let's go make the security guard wear one of these. Now he's playing. Catch that. Catch that.

You tipped it. It was tip pass. It's tip drill. Now Roan's on destruction mode. Yeah, Roan is going to... I like this, though. Shouldn't have given me so many things. Oh, Jesus Christ.

He's got them all riled up. There's two modes for this show. Playing Family Feud and destroying the show. It's right here on the prep sheet to break all your shit. Everything. Who wrote this? Speaking of the prep sheet steven chay gets a minivan do minivans actually that seems like a leading question um core's light when you need

to slow down and open a core's light it's mountain cold refreshing made to chill taste greats from core's brewing company in golden colorado slow down and celebrate responsibly get core's light in the new look delivered straight to your door with Drizzy or Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take. Coors Light. No, no, don't. Here it goes. Oh! Not bad, not bad, not bad.

Interesting to see you decided to catch it instead of hit it like a baseball. How are the callers in the first show? Very good. Do you think we should call in? You'd like to. 6-4-6, 2-9-1, 2-4-3-7. No.

Never? Nobody's allowed to be on the show but me. Ever? You cannot be on the show. in? You'd like to. 646-291-2437. No. Never? Nobody's allowed to be on the show but me. Ever? You cannot be on the show. Why? You can call. Why?

You can call. Why can't I be on the show? I don't need you. Nick Saban says he wants to come on. I'm not saying you need me. Nick Saban can't be on. I'm just asking, can I be on it? Coach Saban. No.

Coach Saban. You cannot. Why? Because it's my show. It's a one-person show, Brandon Walker. None of you can be on the show. Are you sure you're not an only child? I was for 16 years.

That's true. What if someone else's name, Brandon Walker? Big ups, Brandon. Brandon Walker isn't that individual of a name. True. It's not that unique. But I'm making it unique. But if there's another Brandon Walker, can they come on the show?

I'm trying to buy his Twitter account right now. Really? Just Brandon Walker? How much do you offer? The security guard just left and this man just walked in with dozens of boxes. Gun-shaped. How much is this TV right here? And if we broke it, would it be a big deal?

I don't think it was that expensive. Okay, great. Thank you. It wasn't that expensive. Tell him not to break it, please. TVs are so cheap these days. Brandon doesn't want you to break it. But is it in the budget to like. It was pretty much up to you.

If you said that was the most expensive TV ever. Should we break it? Well, you're mask-free today. If it did break, did you get a booster shot? Why are you not wearing a mask? He knows the science is fake. He's not trying to kowtow to some fucking... Took some ivermectin?

Wait, he's had about every single vaccine. Johnson & Johnson. Look at Pete's face. Look at that face. When are people going to realize that none of the vaccines work? Tell them about our car ride. What about the car ride? Oh, you guys went to Atlanta from Jackson, right?

Yeah, we drove with Pete all night. Just you and me. Roan told me that Pete was just in his ear the whole time. He's a talker. It was pouring, and Roan said that the windshield wipers were on. We're too loud. Pete told me that he was like, can you turn off the windshield wipers? I was like, it's raining.

What do you mean? I was like, the sound is bothering me. You drove? Yes. And what did you guys talk about? We listened to a podcast on two and a half speed. What? Two and a half speed. What? Two and a half speed.

You can't keep up. That sounds like an auctioneer. Sounds like someone was in tongues. What the fuck? Did you ever give Pete the aux? No, he was the one listening to the... He had the aux the entire time. Well, podcast.

NPR. Yes. This American Life. The New York Times. Eddie and Chief. Wait, how long did you drive? It was a six-hour drive. From when to when?

That's not a six-hour drive. Jackson to Atlanta? Four and a half. It's not Jackson. Why would I lie about that? He's going to Miami, right? No, I drove to Atlanta. Oh, from Jackson.

From Jackson. All right, so how... It was like six hours, and I drove for five hours and 15 minutes. Like 11. Oh, fuck. 10 or 11, yeah. Damn. Why'd you guys do that?

Because the hurricane was coming in. That actually is hell. What you just said is hell. It was terrible. Driving with Pete overnight is hell. My brain was really hurting. Oh, my God. I'm sorry for you.

It took true psychological fortitude to make it. That's like the fantasy football punishment that psychology doctorates and Rhodes scholars would come up with after crunching numbers. You have to sit in a Waffle House

for 24 hours. With Pete. Not yet to eat any waffles. Slowly leaking. Can you fix that? Can you fix it? I had a not that chill car ride as well on Friday.

With who? I had to get out of an Uber, like, in the tunnel. My driver was just wasted. Inside the tunnel? He was wasted? Yeah. Like, drunk. Tell me about that.

Inside the tunnel. It was very scary. What rating did you get? Like, right as we got out of it, we were like, you got to pull over. What? Yeah, I was fucked. And he was like, I'm not pulling over for shit. No, he did.

But... And was he... Yeah, did you give him five stars? How did you know he was wasted? He was falling asleep, and then when we expressed concern, he was slurring his words. He was on heroin. He was a sex slave.

Damn. Maybe. Sex slaves are always passing out. That's true. I drove back to West Virginia Friday. Why? Me and Nico. Nico never came in?

Nah. A lot of people drove this weekend. What the hell's up with everyone driving? I walked 37 miles. There we go, KB. Nico yelled at me in the car. Why? Because I had my window down.

I was letting out all the Drake. He let out the Drake. Yeah, I let it all out. You can't waste that Drake. I had to roll my window up. Does Nico call Drake Aubrey? Yeah, he does. Oh, he knows him.

No. Throw in call Drake Aubrey? Yeah, he does. He knows him. No. Throw in that new Aubrey. Did you like the new Aubrey? Fuck that up. Try it again. Try it again. Try it again. Throw in that new Aubrey.

Yeah, you got it. I didn't really listen to it. I'm waiting for your review. I thought it was dope. I'm a huge Drake fan, but I only listen to Drake in the gym. I don't really listen to Kanye that much. He's too artistic for me. Yeah.

You don't love art. Kyle, I got a DM on Instagram of an old high school interview of you. Did you guys get that too? Yes. No. I don't check my Instagram. I also got a picture of Sass when he was eight years old. It's so creepy.

Stop doing that people get that no people are trying to clown me in in a video where i won mvp of the state championship so i have at it have at it what was their jokes what was the best joke about you being mvp i just got the gem and i watched the video and it was very the interviewer was bad i didn't even watch it what was uh what they call they call you, the most valuable pussy? I watched it on mute. Pussy always works. Yeah, pussy plays rather than W.

Yeah, get that thing. Hell yes. KB, you mind, should we link up on this finger trap? Play the feud? I got you one. All right, okay. We surveyed 100 people. Yeah, we need Sass.

Well, Sass should just play one round. Sass by himself. Okay, if he gets above 500, then we're done. TJ, we'll take you along to get it ready. Sass should play one round. Sass plays one round by himself. All right, Sass. How about if he gets above 500, we're done?

I actually love the idea that the show just ends. We're not addicted. We could stop at any time. We have like 50 people watching. I just haven't seen it. I don't get the jokes. You know what I mean?

I just want to see it a couple rounds just to see the jokes. Listen, we can't just... We can't... All the demands of the listeners. I know I've seen

people say that they don't like Frank anymore. He's suspended. Yeah, choose one or the other. One or the other. Family Feud or Frank. We're going to give you something you don't like. When I pose it that way, I think everyone will like Family Feud.

I would love to play. Yeah, let's get Sass. Let's see if Sass can play. Let's see if Sass can do well. Sass, I believe in you. Here we go. Is there any music or anything like that? Is there silence?

The loading screen is like that first shot of tequila Your whole body gets warm You start feeling like a wave of euphoria Yup About to have a fucking night boys Let's go There's an Old Navy ad sorry Yeah there's a lot of ads

Fuck that dude I ain't shopping an Old Navy ad, sorry. Yeah, there's a lot of ads. Fuck. Fuck that, dude. I ain't shopping at Old Navy. I usually used to think of ads like when I was having sex so I wouldn't bust so fast. I would run like an Old Navy ad in my head. But now I don't have to. Why? Because I have Roman. Roman.

You stupid fucking idiot. I have Roman. You get a free online evaluation of ongoing care for erectile dysfunction. All from the comfort and privacy of any of our homes. Big Cat's giant home, even. Even the richest bust early. Isn't that right, Dan? Yep.

Get Roman ready. Go to getroman.com slash barstool today. If you're prescribed, get 50% off your first month of ED treatment. Make sure you're ready to have the confidence to control this summer. Oh, that's... Or fall. No, it's still summer for two more weeks. Yeah?

Is it? Yeah. Summer ended yesterday. Nah. Are you still wearing shorts? Summer's over. I will wear shorts until November. Exactly.

Summer ended yesterday. I think so, too. You can't be one of the people who try to hold on to summer in September. No. No. You can't deny how crisp it was yesterday. Why not? Because it's just not summer anymore.

I thought it was summer yesterday. It was crisp. It was balmy. If you're in the Hamptons, if you catch me in the Hamptons NFL week one, no way. Oh, yeah. You can't do that. Nah. You can't be at the beach house.

Can we play Family Feud, please? All right. Here we go, Sass. All right. Are you ready, Sass? Yeah. Let's just hope you don't play against a woman because they are awesome at this game. Yeah, they're very good at this game.

And you are playing. Gavin. Gavin, 98. Oh, you'll beat his ass. What year were you born, Sass? 2001. Oh, no. Is this a real person?

Yeah, this is his game. Say it out loud. You got to read the question. Name something in a divorce settlement that can't be divided in half. Oh, wow. Children. Good answer. Good answer.

Good answer. Well, two children could and four. Child. Or there's that biblical story, right? Abraham. Homes. Yeah, good answer. King Solomon.

King Solomon. Good answer. Great answer. He's too good. Gavin's stupid. Come on, Aaron. Great answer. He's too good. Gavin's stupid. Can we give him suggestions? That's not how it works. You're going to play your own game in a minute.

I'm lost. It took us one day to break it. Pets. Good answer. Our rule got broken so fast. 30 minutes in. He's going to get perfect round his first game. Good answer. Come on. Come on, going to get perfect round his first game. Good answer.

Come on. Come on, Sash. Come on. Sash, you know. Food? God damn it. That's one of the easiest. Food.

Can't get this box of cereal in the divorce. I don't know. What about a car? Who's going to split this sandwich? That's dumb. Good answer. You can split a car. You're in good shape.

You're in good shape. That was a great round. Good round, Sass. Good answer. Let's go, Sass. We can't split this full cake. Then it would be in pieces. Besides photographs, name something specific that gets framed.

Drawings. This is a repeat. Good answer. Is this a repeat? I don't know. I haven't seen this I think so Yeah yeah

Oh I had it at Fast Money I said Roger Rabbit Yeah Yeah you did Paintings Paintings under art Side posters For sure

What else do you frame? Oh my goodness Oh no This is when Think outside the box Complaining towards the game You need life experience brother Yeah

Stupid young Dumb criminals Yeah Yeah Think outside the box. Complaining towards the game. You need life experience, brother. Yeah. Stupid young dumb criminals. Yeah. Good answer. Although if they're a criminal, they don't get framed. Yeah, because they committed a crime. Oh, one of these things Sass actually has no knowledge of. No life experience on this.

He DO'd. So he DO'd. I don't know. He's not going to happen. Yeah, you dropped out, bro. All right, good run. You dropped out. Yep, too late.

You dropped out. That's bullshit. Steve Jobs dropped out. Award, people. Trophy? Who's framing a trophy? Diploma. That's dumb as fuck. All Alright, so that was bad.

That was a bad round. Bad round. You are now losing. What's the lowest we've ever had to you? I don't know. Yeah, like 300. Okay. Alright, Sass, here we go. Alright, Sass, you need this. You need this round. Triple points. Triple easy. Name a form of transportation only a rich person could own.

Phone a friend. Phone a friend. I'm not helping. I'm not helping. Jet? Yes. Good answer. What was it? The hole in your boat.

Boat? Or yacht? Oh, there we go. Nice. Keep going. Keep going. Push yourself. Push yourself.

Think of modes. Come on. Think Elon. Tesla? No. Bad answer. Car? Think Kobe. I think Elon. Tesla? No. Bad answer. Car? I think Kobe.

Yes, yes. Only rich people can own cars. Helicopter. Yeah. Way to go, Sass. Fucked up, Brandon. Helicopter. Bam.

Two more. 20 seconds. Push yourself. Limousine? Oh, yes. Good answer. Good one. Just, yeah. Everybody just, yeah Oh, yes. Good answer. Good one. Everybody's just, yeah, there we go.

Yeah. He's going to pull off the win. Go, go, go, go. He's screwed. He's screwed. Go, go, go. Chair. Chair.

Chair. Chair. Chair. Chair. Chair. Chair. Chair. Chair.

Chair. Chair. Chair. Convertible. Airplane. That's so stupid. Jet and airplane Are the same thing

Well some people Can't afford the jet engines So they just buy An entire plane A prop plane Jeffrey Epstein airplane We said if he got 500 We can't play again

Yeah He got 378 378 Adam you're up Yeah We have to do One game per row One game for Rome.

It looked fun. It looked really fun. Oh, you guys missed out on, we have a daily shirt club now. Oh, yeah. Cool. And Sharky Duck. Sharky Duck. What's that?

What's our shirt today? Oh, okay. Okay, like a Sharky Duck world. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, Sharky Duck. What should our joke be today? SharkyDuck.com.

Something about fentanyl probably. Yeah, maybe like I tried to make a fentanyl joke and on the back it said it killed. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it'll have to be something. Well, the shirts aren't great shirts. I did fentanyl and all I got was this t-shirt. I wasn't here Friday. What Friday shirt did we duck the shark that day?

Did you duck the shark? That was odd, yeah. It's best not to talk about it. All right. I actually asked Owen on Saturday. I was like, how was the yak on yesterday? And he was like, not great. It was the worst one of the calendar year.

Oh. So season four, it's the fly episode of Breaking Bad. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's okay. Yikes. When does season five of the yak start?

Tomorrow? Someone has to get killed off. Yeah. That's okay. Yikes. When does season five of the act start? Tomorrow? Someone has to get killed off. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So we almost got Steven with that flood. Yeah, that would have been hilarious. Oh, man. We need to wait for a natural cliffhanger.

Yeah. One of us gets surgery or... Just surgery. KB's getting LASIK. Okay, here we go, Roan. You got this. Show me a woman. Show me a woman.

Show me a woman. I can't believe I'm playing this game again. Freddie, 87. Were you born around? 88. Okay. A little life experience for Freddie, but I have youth on my side. A reptile.

You have to say an animal that has scales. Name an animal that has scales. That's a little bit too broad. Yeah. Snake. Good answer. An iguana. Snake. has scales. That's a little bit too broad. Snake. Good answer. An iguana. Snake.

Great answer. Missing the best one, though. I'm on now. A fucking frog. Yes. Yeah. Good answer. Frogs have a lot of scales.

Brother. I'm obviously going to have a toad. But that's not an answer. That's not my answer. Toad's not an answer. Scales. Oh, oh. Like an obviously going to have a toad, but that's not an answer. That's not my answer. Toad's not an answer. Scale. Scale. Oh, oh.

Like an iridescent children's book? Or like a... Uh-huh. Iridescent. Come on, Roan. I got this. I got this. What's wrong with you?

Oh, justice. Like justice has a scale of justice. Yeah. This is hard to watch. Justice. You wouldn't have gotten it, Brandon. You don't know things That have scales

There's one that's Pretty obvious Pretty obvious They're gonna feel Like a dum dum And Larry's six down And it's fish It's fish

It's fish It's fish It's fish It's fish It's fish It's fish Fish are not animals What the fuck

Are you guys talking about Fish is not an animal That was embarrassing. You dumb motherfucker. Shut up, dude. I've never played before. You love Bronzino. I know, but I get to pray for this child. Alright, let's go. Let's go, Roan. Pick it up.

I need to focus in. Name something you'd hate to find people put in your brownies. Drugs. Here we go. Drugs. Nuts go. Good answer. Nuts. Good answer. Drugs, pot, LSD. Raisins.

Good answer. Good answer. I love my brownies with raisins. Chocolate. I hate a chocolate brown with raisins. Chocolate. I hate a chocolate brownie. Gross. Yuck. It makes me just sick to my stomach.

This is actually a tough question. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop.

Poop. Show me poop. Poop. Poop. Feces. Trash. Poop. Yeah.

Good answer. Wow. Way to go, Ro. Vomit. Vomit. Trash Poop Yeah Wow Way to go, Ro Vomit Vomit Or puke Maybe spit You would not hate vomit Spit

He's out Hair Hair Oh, no Minus five I didn't say that I didn't say that, TJ Minus five for cum

That's minus 15 Oh, my God Minus five for cum Minus five for cum. That's minus 15. Oh, my God. Minus five for cum. Minus five for cum. Oh, he's hiding. Zaz hiding. This shit is not funny. I would love to have cum in my brownies.

Oh, you guys, it's a big round. Oh, then you would have loved Friday's episode. Yeah, sure. Here we go, Roan. Big round. We asked 100 men, name a place you would hate to be when you realize you didn't zip up your pants. Giving a speech. Show me speech.

Funeral. You guys suck at this game. You guys stink out loud. Oh my god. Graduation. I'm going to go over three. Yeah, I think this is definitely not. Yeah, no no way First date

You're out You're out Zero point round Wedding Interview School On stage Interview

Church What the fuck So you guys are just really bad at this game Alright we'll do one more round They can both work together I smoked around Yeah Fuck you dude Neither of you guys made it to Fast Money Those are the two lowest All right, we'll do one more round. They can both work together. I smoked around. Yeah.

Fuck you. Neither of you guys made it to Fast Money. That's unheard of. Those are the two lowest. Unheard of. You guys have played the game before, though. We were good immediately. You guys never missed Fast Money. I've never even seen Family Feud before.

We've never missed Fast Money. You don't even know how the game goes. In fairness, our first day, we all worked together. We didn't go individual until Tuesday. No, but we... Right? No, the questions, we all answered ourselves. We didn't go individual until Tuesday. No, but we... Right? No, the questions,

we all answered ourselves. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, actually, you know what? That's good, because you guys suck so bad, I don't even want to play a game anymore.

You guys ruined feud. That's exactly what we needed. We needed someone to suck bad. It was the least we could do. I got to go to the bathroom. All right. Going to shit my pants. Cool.

What? I do too Ask What is that? Do you actually have to shit your pants? No, he's gonna have five I was gonna Ask the guy to come in

Make y'all play Ask the security guard to come in Please If he really had to shit, he wouldn't be doing all this small talk. He'd be holding his butt. I don't like this security guard. He thinks he's better than us. I'm going to say it.

I could take him in a fight. No, no. You? Oh, I see. All right, yeah. She's just showing. Yeah, come on in. Oh, yeah.

Who's that? Is that Tiff? Yeah, Tiff. What's up with you and Tiff? Nothing. You guys in a Tiff? We're fine. We're fine.

We're fine. You're fine? Yeah, we're definitely fine. Are you sure you're fine? Tiff and I are good, yeah. Tiff is the male woman who... Wait a second. Wait, huh? How?

The post woman. Ah, got it. So she used to be a post woman. Ah, got it. So she used to be a post woman. She works for the USPS. She's a female. She twerked right over my shoulder. Brandon, what are you ordering for lunch? Is that just Jack McCarthy and Rhea getting lunch together?

Uh-oh. Jack McCarthy is slowly climbing the social ladder here. He's hanging out with more and more successful people. Yeah. He stopped hanging out with me

and now he's hanging out with Rhea. You know who's at the top of the social ladder? Who's that? That one? Yeah. KB is kind of

the Pied Piper of parts. He is. Really? Why did you say that? It all runs through KB. It does. All roads run through KB. I of the Pied Piper of bars. He is. Really? Why did you say that? It all runs through KB. It does. All roads run through KB. I see you in the background of Jeff D'Lo's Instagrams.

Oh, you were. I made his collage. You made his collage. That was the end of summer collage? The end of summer collage. I love Jeff D'Lo. He's so like, he's like, the internet hasn't ruined him for some reason. You know what I mean?

The dozen has he did a genuine he's it kills it but he did a genuine like end of summer collage like that's so nice i love it like he's it's back it's a back in a day when the internet was like hey let's share nice moments and people will enjoy it that That's how we know summer's over. Jeff put up his collage. The debate's over. I hope he burned a CD. It's an old Julian tradition. Wait, this guy's eating now?

Whoa, what? That's a really good collage. Oh, it was a literal collage? Yes, that's insane. Oh, we got a slideshow. We remember. There's KB. There's KB. KB's definitely in the background of a slideshow. We remember. There's KB. There's KB.

KB's definitely in the background of a bunch more. He declined to be photographed. The caption is made a bunch of random friends, and one of them's Kyle. So this is random. One of my best friends at work. So take your photographs and memories in your mind. Also, those are all from mid to late August.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I've got those memories and memories in my mind. And what it's worth, it was worth all the time. It's something unpredictable, and in the end it's right. I hope Jeff D'Lo had the time of his life That was supposed to be our 8th grade graduation song. What the fuck camera angle was that? TJ.

Back to the camera. KB's dick cam. Let's see the cock again, please. Come on, boys. Can we get camera two on cock? KB is lumped out. Let's switch to cock. Bro, you are chubbed up.

That's just because Tiffany just showed her. He looks like David Lee Raw. Dude, Tiffany walks in the room and KB is just chubbed up. That's just because Tiffany just showed her. He looks like David Lee Raw. Dude, Tiffany walks in the room and KB is just chubbed. Look at her. You've been. I can tell from your penis. He's had breakfast at Tiffany's multiple times. Multiple times.

What about breakfast at Tiffany's? I think that's something we got. KB walks in here and fucking all roads go. People fucking kiss the ring when KB rolls through this office. Yeah, they do. What is going on with you and Tiffany? That's what's going on. Stop it.

So did you like making Jeff D'Lo's collage? I did, yeah. What was your favorite memory of the summer? You made it or you made it? You made it for him? I put it together, yeah. And also, you put it back up. You got to put some diagonal.

I love KB. Scattered. It's a little dramatic. Every one of those is askew. There's not a straight photo inside. KB is the goofy friend that everyone loves. Yeah, look at that one. Look at him.

Ironic glasses, ironic shirt, ironic hat, ironic smile. He's the goofy kid that never gets laid. Oh, yes. Let's go, dude. All the girls are like, oh, my best, ironic smile. He's the goofy kid that never gets laid. All the girls are like, oh, my best friend KB. That's why Jeff brought you. Here's my boy Kyle. Fuck, dude.

You made that shit. You got up in that. It's like how Dave brings Glenny Balls to the club. That's why Jeff Lowe brings you around. Not a single girl considers me her friend, and I can probably state that with certainty. Let's get Tiffany. See if you guys are friends. No, you're more than friends.

She might say he's just a friend, but that's not true at all. I saw a girl giving you a bag of fentanyl at a party one time. You just went up and whispered in her ear. She just said, go run to the bathroom with this. Is that true? You can handle it, though. I bought fentanyl at the People with AIDS Plaza. Fentanyl for prep.

A little sass, a little pep in his step. Hey, what's going on with John Mulaney? I don't know. He got stalked by Olivia Munn. Stalked? Really? I don't know. He got stalked by Olivia Munn. Stalked? Really? I don't know. I thought he impregnated her.

Yeah, but like she was obsessed with him for a very long time. Yeah, for like years. Because he put a baby in her or some shit. Some weirdo shit. Some extreme weirdo shit

by Olivia Munn to get pregnant and then like be all over his phone line. Yeah. I just saw that shit and I couldn't understand any of it.

The security guard said absolutely. He said definitely not, but he said that the other security guard will want to come in tomorrow. That'll be the old fat guy. Do we have a seat for the security guards? He doesn't want one because he wants to be mobile. He could stand on that. It's got to be the most boring job ever because it's really like maybe once every two months someone comes in that shouldn't be here. We're not a bank.

But boy, what a rush you'll get when that guy comes in. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Who was like the one? I mean, there was that one kid who showed up. There's definitely going to be a building of someone or there's going to be a video of someone not getting let in here. Like the videos of people who try to get into their own building. It's like, I fucking work here, dude. There's definitely going to be

someone who gets tackled by him that form tackles. We have to wear security badges now at all times. Yeah. Yeah. When is picture day? You guys want to do

something goofy for him? Yeah. Yeah. Hitler mustaches? Probably. That shit is hilarious. I can't believe I'm not allowed to ever appear on the

Brandon Walker College Football Show. You're not. Nobody is. What's your problem? You can call in. Why? You can call in if you'd like. What if you get sick like you are right now?

I'm sitting here and I wanted to just sit here and talk to you. That's the gimmick. Dave can't be on that show. Nobody can be on that show. Why? It's the Brandon Walker Show. That's not a gimmick. It's the Brandon Walker Show with Brandon Walker.

So, yeah, what happens if you have to miss a day? I'm not going to. Oh, boy. I'll make sure you do So yeah, what happens if you have to miss a day? I'm not going to. Oh boy. I'll make sure you do. How are you going to make sure I miss a day? I'll do something. You going to sub in for me? No, I'll figure out something. What happens if he knows enough? He just talked for an hour. How long is your show? An hour. You can

do it. Yeah. He can converse with callers. That's good. It would be a shame if you didn't make it in one day. Why would you try to ruin this? I'm not trying to ruin it. I'm just saying. You guys have already destroyed my shelf.

Have you ever had perfect attendance in school? No. Exactly. Yeah. I never made it through the first three weeks with perfect attendance. Really? Exactly. But I've had perfect attendance here.

What are you going to do? Except for the days I missed. What? What are you going to do if you miss? I don't know. I'll just miss a Friday. You should let Lil Sass have the show. He doesn't miss.

True. I'd love to host. I don't even want to be on it. I just want to know that if I wanted to be on it, I could be on it. Okay, yes. You could be on it if you'd like. Okay, cool. Thanks.

Tomorrow? No. Oh. Tomorrow works for me. Is it every day this week? Monday through Thursday. Just about. It would be a real shame if we fucking started pranking you on the show like in Sister Act 2.

Remember Sister Act 2? Back in the habit? Yeah, you already know. So it's a live show? It is. Glue in the chair? We could glue you to the chair? That wouldn't really affect the show at all?

No, hypothetically, if there was a bomb threat at the office during the show. No, that's not even good to put in the world. Didn't that happen at TD Garden or something? And the guy stayed and he broadcasted from there. He didn't leave. Who was it? Where did that happen? It's tough to compete with.

You'd be like a violinist on the Titanic. Give it out your picks. Go down with the picks. Gentleman. Security guard just walked off again. So much for security. Fucking insecurity guard. What if at 6 o'clock every day I order Chick-fil-A and put it right outside this window?

Right outside the door. And it expires at 6.57. How long do you think it's going to be before the security guard slowly starts making his way into the content game? Oh, yeah. He's already got a pod. He's on the rundown. Him and Michelangelo are starting up a pod about Italians. Michelangelo trying to get in the content game?

Oh, yeah. I hope so. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Big time. With a name like that? Big time. How could he not?

Yeah. Who doesn't want in, honestly? We're going to Michigan this week. Yeah, we are. Who, you and Colangelo? Mm-hmm. Mike Colangelo. Colangelo's coming?

Mm-hmm. Why is he coming? My Colangelo. Mm-hmm. Michelangelo's coming? Why is he coming? Michelangelo? What's in Michigan? What's going down? Ann Arbor. Football. Football game.

College football show. Still doing that. What are you doing with that helmet? Just playing with it. Making sure it's up to safety protocol. Is it? See if it's waterproof. Not even close.

Dump out some water on there. You play with this. CT. What is it? See if it's waterproof. Not even close. Dump out some water on there. You play with this. What is it? CTE? CTE. CTE by 30. Big time. That's a while

because that guy would be in college. It's not that long. How much did Sling pay us? Because they're going to want that back. This is what we bought. Brandon Walker's going to have to really perform on his Brandon Walker College Football Show. That's the idea.

I watched it on Friday. Did you like it? Is the pressure crippling? I will watch it. No. I prefer solo shows. It reminds me of... So then what do you think about a show with seven people on it?

I'm doing my best It reminds you of what Of how How James Corden stole Graham Norton's show Oh yeah Kind of how it's like Paul Feinbaum

But you Right Yeah I said it's Paul Feinbaum But with talent Oh I like it Does Paul know you said that but with talent. Oh, I like it. Does Paul know you said that? I hope so.

Well, probably not. When is wrestling coming up? January, but I might stick with it. So this was a huge weekend in wrestling. Yeah, you were just teaching to talk about it. Yeah. But you can't. Get back on the horse.

You can't talk about it, man. I can. I'm going to do another wrestling this week, and we'll see. We'll go. Do you know how hard it is to talk one hour a week about something you love with all your heart and are super passionate about and consume every day? Yeah, I know. Whatever.

Why don't you just do one episode of Brandon Walker College Football Show as just you talking about wrestling and then record it and then put it out as a podcast? I don't think people would like that. Different audiences. You don't know until you find out. We'll see. How's the reception been on the show? Reception until you find out. We'll see. How's the reception been on the show?

Reception's been really good. Really fucking good. It was a good show. It was very good. It was really smooth. There were no hiccups. Everything was fantastic. What share did it do?

Shouts out TJ. What was the share? A big one. In Omaha. Really? 17. Nice. 17 share in Omaha?

Damn. That's fucking good. What were the numbers looking like? That was what we had. I thought that was what we said I thought that was what the share was

oh if you believe oh 8,000 already well that's just the follow yeah yeah but I mean you've had one episode

yeah we're getting there yeah that's pretty good so you had one episode long weekend yep we're on the free tier of Sling 2

you don't have to pay for Sling 2 to watch it what's this on right now this is on YouTube and Sling so I don't know how many

hopefully everybody's watching on Sling. What they're doing is they're editing it and then re-airing the act later. This is not live. But we have to end at 5730. What do they have to edit out? If we say cunt? Certainly we all would pepper that

into conversation. 5730? Well, we just sang Green Day. That's floating if I'm not mistaken. Floating 5730? Oh, cunt. You fucking cunts. No, it's not a hard out.

I heard it was a hard out. I did too. I got a text this morning. Yeah, that's some bullshit. But also it was bullshit saying that we couldn't say what all this was. Were we really at risk of ruining the deal if we had said that you were going to have a show? No. There's some things I didn't like about last week, but it's fine.

They didn't announce the sling deal until the day. Not us. Not you guys. No, no. There were some restrictions I didn't think should have been restricted. They should have had a rollout. Yeah. Should have done the car wash.

And there should have been more pizzazz around. But it was just like, okay, here it is. We gave you some pizzazz. You did. Who do you blame the most? Just, I don't know. Say her name. I don't know who's fault it was.

Say her name. I don't know who made the decisions. She fired. I'm definitely not blaming Jen Simons. That woman. Whoa. Oh, come on. That woman's a saint. Oh, come on.

That woman's a saint. She's like you are. I think it was sales that were like, we couldn't announce it. Who takes the blame? I don't know. Sales. Are women in sales? Is it sausage? I really don't know.

I don't know. No. Everybody says you have your show on Sling. Kyle and I are Barstool Shopping Network. Cut down to 10 seconds. We'll now be on Snapchat where we can't cuss. Did it actually? Yeah, big things for everybody.

Wait, it's actually a Snapchat show? We have to do a PG version of a show that retains our ratings for the entire episode. We typically do 20 minutes and we cuss. And now we have to do 10 seconds we can't cuss I'm so sexually typical that I don't even know

how to appeal to teens in any way not a clue humor entertainment yeah Snapchat said we want that show but change everything

what uh how often is it coming out though I don't know every day and it's just an ad right the show is an ad

right so they bought your ads yeah wow How often is it coming out, though? I don't know. Every day. And it's just an ad, right? A couple times an hour. The show is an ad, right? It's just an ad. So they bought your ads? Yeah. Wow. Big, big things. That's kind of impressive. Like if someone just bought a commercial and said,

I mean, the only thing, the only option for that is just doing an ad. That's what it is. Yeah. But there's no way to make that funny. No. In 10 seconds? No, they'll find a way. You guys always find a way.

This is Nick and KB. This is Nick and KB. They're savants. Come on. Come on. These boys love to cuss. We love to cuss. Like, I say cunt.

Oh. All the time. Whoa. Kyle, do you say cunt? Yeah. Say it. Fuck you guys. You guys know I do.

I've never heard you say it. I've never heard you say it. I've said cunt. Ron said cunt. Nick said cunt. I said it. Fuck you guys. You guys know I do. I've never heard you say it. I've said cunt, Ron said cunt, Nick said cunt. You guys know I say it. You won't say it. Bauer, what are you adding to your plate for football season? Everybody else is heaping something on. What are you adding?

Consumption. Fandom. It's true. Live streams? How do we know you're consuming if it's not filmed? Yeah, everything needs, you need to do something. A live stream just will tack you onto the list. Oh, and say cunt.

Cunt. Oh, okay. Come on. Kyle. What, your mom watches the show or something? Go ahead, Kyle. Fine, let's talk religion. Just say it.

Fine, let's talk about what happens after you die then. Yeah, you go first, Kyle. Let's go. Heaven. I believe in heaven. I believe in God or at least a higher power. Shut up, dude. Ever since your near-death experience?

You saw the light? There has to be something more. There has to be. This couldn't be it. The hubris to believe that we know everything that goes on. Yeah. You shouldn't even have a strong assumption because no one knows. You think rocks are conscious though?

Maybe. The moss on them. Oh, yes. Somebody sent me a picture of them wearing the yak shirt. It looks slick. It looks slick. I mean, we have to have sold one. Which one?

Uh-uh. I think a lot of people. I want the big wife in the suburbs shirt. Yeah. People are clamoring for that. Yeah, they're clamoring for it, but there's only going to sold one. Which one? I think a lot of people. I want the big wife in the suburbs shirt. So yeah, people are clamoring for that. Yeah, they're clamoring for it, but there's only going

to be one. At the end of the year, you sign up to buy. I want that one. What is the big wife in suburbs? We're going to make a t-shirt, one t-shirt a

day. Okay. At the end of the year, you can buy the yak daily shirt and they're numbered and you don't know which one you're getting. That's incredible.

Okay. So for today's shirt, I'd actually like it to be all of our cartoon pictures and underneath it says cunt and then underneath Kyle's it just says nothing. Nothing. That sounds like a great deal for me. Why? Why? I thought you'd say cunt.

Was he going to say it in quotes or is he just going to be labeled cunt? Quote. Oh yeah. Big Cat, take that back. Kyle you said cunt. Was he going to say it in quotes or is he just going to be labeled cunt? Quote, quote. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Big Cat, take that back. Kyle and the cunts. Damn. Oh, man.

We're finally riffing, but we have a hard out. We have a hard out? We've already passed the hard out. We don't have a hard out? No hard out. Sling, baby. Love those guys up at Sling. They're the best.

I just want to walk. I walked so much this weekend. What's that about? Why did you walk? I'm off the boot, off the sauce, so I walk now. Again? This time is different. You do look slimmer in the face and your skin is glowing.

This time is different. No, it's not. It's a dry glow. I walk like 37 miles. You've got to get an Apple Watch. Which furthers my theory. Walking is a little bit harder than lying down, but easier than sitting down or standing up. When you said that, it actually has changed my life since then.

Walking is an afterthought. Walking is easier than sitting down. When you're sitting down, you're contorting your body into a semi-swastika. It's not natural. It's actually anti-Semitic to sit. When I'm walking, I don't even realize

I'm doing it. It takes no effort. You are a semi-swastika. Yeah, I'm in autopilot mode pretty much. I think walking is one of the easiest things you can do.

It's far easier than standing up. Standing up for a long time is painful. Standing up sucks. So I just walked and walked and walked. And it's incredible. Thank God you have your legs. Thank God. Don't take that for granted. Standing up for a long time is painful. So I just walked and walked and walked.

And it's incredible. Thank God you have your legs. Don't take that for granted. You feel good? I feel incredible. There they are. Those are it. Those fucking war courses.

Now that your boner's gone down. If I told you those two bad boys went 37 miles, would you believe me? 37 miles. Security guards on the phone. Something's happening. There's been a breach. There's been a breach. We gotta get this guy in a earpiece. Get down to the lobby now. He needs a Blackberry. He needs to put his phone on his... A Bluetooth

with a Blackberry. At least get him the wooden gun. Or a next out. A roll of pennies. From the other guys. Let's ask him what would happen if ISIS-K just stormed in here. If they just ran up in here. You're talking K? Yeah.

New kids on the block. Fuck them. Fuck them. And they're like, we want to do lower in the bar. Fine, you can do that. But then you've got to leave. You've got to leave. You shouldn't be here

Yeah Fine We just wanna eat The super hot gummy bears Get on this Yeah Get on this scooter And see how fast

You can go around Are they really as hot As everyone says What if that's the only reason People are trying to get out Of Afghanistan So they could come here And ask about

We could let them Waterboard us With thick water Yeah you could. They fucking have a temper tantrum because they can't do all the states on a map in under a minute. They can't be waterboarding still. I think so.

Yeah, you are? Yeah, no, I think so. I thought that was our thing. Cut it out, bro. Get that shit out. I think they're for sure still doing that. That shit is old. Old and told, honestly. For real is. There hasn't been a new torture in a while.

I was trying... Hot new torture drop? New torture just dropped. It sucks. Why, do you have one, KD? It's not fun. A new torture? It seems like you're

about the same one. Yeah, it seems like you're... What would be your new torture if you could drop anything? I don't know. Well... Sitting in a car with all business people. Hot new torture. We get everything torture if you drop anything. I don't know. Sitting in a car with

all business Pete. We get everything out of Isis K. Isis K just show him a picture of Pete. You're going to have to sit with this man. I want to look through his music library. Oh, he put on a musical. No.

He put on a weird ass musical. Did you do Cats? No, it was like a Will Ferrell musical or some shit like that. And it was based on an Icelandic TV show or something so dumb. Oh, Eurovision. Something so dumb, yes. Yeah. It's a movie. And he was just keeping for Hamilton the entire time.

You wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. Saw a poster. He was rapping Hamilton at one point, and I'm not kidding. He was rapping part of Hamilton. Oh, shit. He was like rapping Hamilton at one point, and I'm not kidding. He was rapping part of Hamilton. Oh, shit. It was terrible. ISIS-K would fucking...

They'd kill themselves. They'd do suicide bombs. I want to see Rex Chapman get stuck in something. Yeah. Like a pile of mulch. Stuck in... Like got dumped on him accidentally? Yeah.

That would suck. Like Back to the Future? Somebody got mulch piled on him in Back to the Future? Locker charge. There was manure, wasn't it? I was watching a TikTok count of the worst ways to die, and there was this one guy who was cleaning out an industrial pressure cooker. And one of the employees shut him into the pressure cooker, and then they dumped 12,000 pounds of tuna into the pressure cooker and killed him. Death by tuna? Was he crushed

or was he cooked? Both. He could suffocate as well. There's many ways to die in that scenario. And he died by all of them. You have the closed casket, that, right? You'd be stinky. That's why I didn't get the vaccine.

I'd like to see them make his vaccine for that. Where's Playboy Marty going? Getting pressure cooked. He's leaving with Trista. He's packed up his desk. He's gone. He looks like he's heading out for good. Should we end the show? Just one note, White Sox Steve doesn't do crack.

We were on a trip with him and he did. Bro. I tried to defend my guy. It's the same as cocaine. It's a better high. Yeah. And speaking of White Sox, Dave, if he posts his dog, rate it low. Yeah.

Okay. Trying to hit this up. His booper? Yes. His booperino? His ugly dog, yes. Don't say that. No, people are so, yeah, they treat it as such taboo.

Yes, rate his ugly dog as an ugly dog. Is it a crusty white one? Are you talking about Ace? The booperino? Oh, yes, the booperino. The brown one, right? He's a good-looking dog. Rate it low.

You can't... Not every dog can be good-looking. Yeah, there's that one like Chihuahua. The truly good ones. Yeah. What is that? What is their worth? Right.

It's a freaking trophy generation for these pupperinos. It really is. Unbelievable. I like this, KB. This is a freaking trophy generation for these pupperinos. It really is. Unbelievable. I like this, KB. This is a good new thing that you're going to... Anti-dog? Yeah.

Anti-dog. Yeah. Coming across a little anti-dog. Yeah, fine. You can handle it. You can handle the scrutiny of the internet

coming down on you being like, look at this cute dog. They don't benefit me in any way. A crusty-ass dog. Even when the people are down on you being like, look at this cute dog. They don't benefit me in any way. A crusty ass dog. Even when the people are walking on the sidewalk and they think it's fine for it to just get in your way and touch up on you. I'm not even going to acknowledge this.

How many dogs touch up on you? The dog's taking up the whole sidewalk. They're on one side and the leash is diagonal. So now what are you going to do? Who's walking who? I'm going to jump over. This sounds like a man who walked 37 miles.

If you walk 37 miles you're going to encounter everything. I did. You don't forget you were walking when you were having to circumnavigate some dogs and you had to change

because walking in a straight line that's the easiest thing. When you start having to step down from a curve change direction change direction that's hard. Brandon, what did you get for lunch?

Chick-fil-A, of course. Love it. Two eight-count nuggets, some waffle fries, and a sweet tea. Yeah, our new month, we have a new Uber Eats free delivery. I forgot about that. It's too late if you haven't used it. Not for September. Code's dead.

Oh, and that's a dope hat. Yeah. Thank you. It reminds me of Wiffle Ball. It does. It has wine. I don't know. It's just something I can't put my finger on it.

Just something about that. That would be a cool gif. Gif that. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. We need a shirt. Oh. No, the cunts. With quotes. No quotes. No, it has to be quotes. Alright We'll see everyone tomorrow We need a shirt Oh No the cunts

With quotes No quotes No it has to be quotes I'll say what you said Just got a point Alright We didn't We didn't It's a yak. It's a yak. It's a yak.

It's a yak. It's a yak.