The Yak - Room Temperature is DANGEROUSLY Cold for Kate | The Yak 3-1-23

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Both lips...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Yo, DJ, hold that up. It's the YAK. It's the YAK. All right, Yak. It's Brandon host day, so if you want to just move that cursor to the top left of your window, click that X. Bye-bye. Well, if it's a PC, though, or not a PC. A Mac is top left, right? I don't know.

Others are top right. Back on it with the trivia again. I don't know. No, I was just talking. You don't have an off switch, do you? Let me just talk. All right, Big Cat's gone. He's at the combine with Shay.

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He's not here. I'm fatter than I've ever been. Maybe he's number one. Maybe he's number one, and I think that Brandon's second most jackedest on the YAK when the whole roster not here. I'm not – I'm fatter than I've ever been. Maybe he's number one. Maybe he's number one, and I think that Brandon's the second most jackedest on the act when the whole roster's here. Well, I have outlifted Stephen Che on camera. That's happened.

Yeah, that's obvious. I say he's four. That wasn't even difficult. A big cat at three. You have that dad strength, Bod. Like, you don't look strong, but I do could see you flipping. I'm very – I'm quite strong. It's way better than the alternative of being slender.

Yeah. I don't know why. I think –'s way better than the alternative of being slender. Yeah. I don't know why. I think people, but people don't judge you for being slender. Skinny dads are weird, man. Your dad's a skinny dad. I don't think so.

No, his dad's jacked. His dad's a normal dad. His dad would be number two on the show. Yeah, my dad has crazy fucking diamond cutters on his arms.

Blow your mind. Nipples too. When do you, when do you progress? Were you always a big arms. Boy, you're mine. Nipples, too. When do you progress? Were you always a big guy? No, you weren't. You're thin. No, I was very, very, very, very skinny in high school. I was 6'5", 180.

Oh, my God. When do you make the transition? Oh, if you see a picture of me from high school, I was not healthy. Can we find the wrestling picture? I don't know when I tweeted it. So I went to Raw in 99, February 15, 1999. I went to Raw, and they showed me on camera. I was wearing a rock shirt, and I was very skinny.

It was me and Scott Prince, and I was very skinny and almost skeletal. Gaunt. Yeah, this acute angle. Look at that, and I can't picture you with your current personality. I feel like you had the personality of what you did. Did your personality change? Do you think it molded with my body? I think you were a timid boy.

I wasn't timid. I was always. You whipped ass. Didn't you whip that? Did you always have like a. What are y'all doing? Dude, if I'm insulting you. Nobody's insulting me.

If I ever am, it's under the guise of glazing damage. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. Oh, my God, dude. So that's me. It's just the roundest head you've ever seen. It looks like you got your buccal fat removed. Yeah.

Whatever that is. Yeah, I long neck. Like I think if like some scouting director had seen you from a modeling agency in New York at that time, they might have been like, I can work with this. I was quite ugly, Ron. Oh no, you shaved that head. You're a model in Belgium.

Yes, 100% because you have putted eyelids. Look at the ears the ears sticking out that's what models are that yes there's a little something yeah something to them years or the line i there was a three month period in 2005 and 6 where i was very attractive i was i had not gotten fat yet but i was no longer skinny i was i had three three good months of being pretty good looking guylooking guy. Do you have photos of that? Probably my wedding photos, but I'm not going to show those. Yeah. Smart man. I jerk off. Right here on the show?

Yeah. That would be quite a sight. Rowan, how are you doing? I'm chilling. Happy to be here with you guys. I assume people want a Penny update. She's alive. You know what I mean. She's alive.

You know what I mean? She's going. It's pretty tough right now. But, you know, we're taking it a day at a time. And she has a will to live. And that's what I care about. But on the flip side, this is such a bitch for you to have to deal with. And I'm sorry.

Oh, yeah. It's terrible. I know. It's been so stressful. And, uh yeah a lot of just grief but uh i'm not that i'm i'm trying to commit to like just being with her while she's here you know what i mean but dude speak i'm i've lost 12 pounds of fucking stress dude i'm fucking like i'm on i'm on my fucking wedding weight right now bro it's fucking which also connotes that i put on 12 pounds since my wedding. You know what I mean? I guess that shit happens, bro.

12 pounds is nothing, though. But, I mean, that's like in a year and change. Yeah. So we take that and add that and add that. I'm going to say I probably gained 10 pounds a year for the first 10 years of marriage. Has it stopped? No. Well, it flatlined because there's only so big I can get.

Actually, I'm the biggest I've ever been, 275, which is a struggle. You don't work 275. But I don't have – I've tried it. I just don't have the desire or the ability to do the things I've got to do to not be 275. What's the point anymore? Yeah, what is the point? You just have to have a health scare and then it'll shake you. I'm probably close.

Yeah, you're right. I probably need a health scare. Get that cholesterol, Big Daddy. I need a scare. I need a mild heart attack. But who's the DN from Texas Tech who's going to be a top ten draft pick? Tyree Wilson. Tyree Wilson.

Yeah. He's 6'5", 275. You are a top ten draft pick. It's amazing how different you can look and be the same size. Yeah, that's hilarious. All right. I'll keep gassing you up all show, brother. Oh, I don't know why it's a gas up session here at the beginning.

You've been working so hard because you've been busting your hump. You've really been busting your hump. I'm doing a wrestling interview today. I've got the vibes up a little bit. Spinning back fist or what? I'm just bringing a wrestler on. Oh, Nickel for spinning back fist or what? No.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD. Oh, Pittsburgh girl. Pittsburgh girl, yeah. Steeler. Steeler fan. Kyle, I feel like we asked you this before, but do you think that you Could fight MMA No

Not at all You would never even consider training it Just to see what it was like It's always in the back of my mind How would I do in a fist fight Or any fight like that Yeah I don't know

I think wrestling would help But I have no fists And I have no How do you even know though I don't know I'm just guessing I don't I know I can't punch But you're strong strong i'm pretty sure i can't take a punch why i mean if you can take wrestling moves like that's like a chin into your fucking chest and like fucking cauliflower in the face

it's not the short term just can't dude i remember versus quentin lead beater for the fifth and sixth final at the navy classic in 2012 i i was I faked a concussion and everyone bought it and now I feel bad about it. Is this your first time talking about it? I got mildly slammed, like mild, and I acted like my eyes rolled back so I could get more injury time. But maybe you did have a concussion.

No. When I had a concussion a summer later, then I knew I had a concussion. So you knew that that was some concussion. No, when you have a concussion. That fake light shit. Have had a concussion. So you knew that that was some concussion. No, when you have a fake light shit. Have y'all ever been concussed? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think so. I had a concussion when I was in second grade. What? Second grade concussion, yeah. I probably had one around the same time. I think that was when I had mine probably. Playing on the playground and Raymond Byers gave me a pile driver right under my head.

Ooh. Yeah. On what was the surface? Ground. Ooh. A playground, you know, just the hard-ass Mississippi ground. And I ended up throwing up. I went inside, threw up, and they wouldn't let me go to sleep.

And then I just, I don't know, I think I fell asleep. I feel like the early days of wrestling, before there was, like, disclaimers, like, watch your kids, make sure they don't do this shit. I bet there was some crazy injuries. We were doing that on the playground. Yeah. I bet there was some crazy shit going down back then. Superhuman's still doing that shit.

He's the best. He's the best of the best. I want him on wrestling. You know who he is? I don't know who Superhuman is. He does stuff in the style of other wrestlers. Really? Three, two, one, fuck this shit.

And he'll jump into a bed of nails. Or like a microwave. Or a microwave wrapped in barbed wire. Is he the boy with the Down Syndrome? No, no, no. It's a different... Yeah. He's got the Fortnite accent. Is this the TikToker? He has a YouTube... Fortnite accent. Yeah, no, I'm right.

I was right. Shorter than that. I'm home and I hope you like... You're trying to get home. This is to be a... Exactly who I was thinking. Shorter than that. You're trying to get home. Exactly who I was thinking. Cheese grater printer. He always shuts out the juggalos too. He gets mad. He's his neighbor. How was his whole ass out before he hit the ground?

And then the ground pulled his pants up. I'll see this one. You want to see the fridge? What's he going to do? Jump in? Run into it. That's part two. Perfect fridge. Yeah. Kind of built like you, Brandon.

Nice yard. Oh, trampoline. Fuck this shit! Oh, no. Oh, shit. I don't think that one hurt that bad. I don't think so. No.

You can do that pretty easy. He's selling it. A bomb pop flew into his neighbor's yard. TJ, if you can find him laying on the microwave, that thing doesn't move. He bounces off of it. Yeah, which has got to be more painful than if he even had broke it. Microwave's a pretty sturdy machine. It's a cube.

Did microwaves exist before we dropped nukes? It's not even on a table. That's a big microwave, too. I hope you like it. This is CM Punk style, too. Oh, no. So he's going to turn to the side? Fuck this shit!

Oh, God! Man. Yeah. Holy fuck. Oh, God. Oh, my God. That would hurt so bad. That would hurt so bad.

Jeez. Was that CM Punk style, Brandon? Yeah, well. You got to do it again. Macho man, yeah. He doesn't really, He protects his head. Does he ever go head first in anything? 314 subscribers.

That's it? That says 1,000, brother. 314,000. Oh, I was going to say. Yeah, that's fair. He's probably making a living. He bought a house with that yard. He just keeps on buying microwaves.

I like this guy. guy yeah he's the best we buy his fuck this shit merch yeah Roback should do a collab with Roback Roback fuck this shit fuck this shit hoodies super human

the funniest thing on the internet right now are the AI voices oh my god of Joe Biden Barack Obama, and Donald Trump playing video games. It's a whole trend. I think the weed Joe Biden

ones are the best. It is so... Fuck. The one where he's like, I'm smoking on the shit that killed Tupac. Dude, yeah. It sounds... It's like this shit's got crystals so you know the CBD to THC ratio is swag. N-word.

He says the N-word? Yeah. He says the N-word so many times. Joe Rogan one is good, too. Yeah. My parents would fall for that, thinking it's real. It's great to be here. Yeah, it's great to have all of you.

So I'm going to start off asking about your recent blow-up on TikTok. I mean, it's insane. It is quite crazy, yes. So from what I can tell you, you guys just play video games. Right. And, like, when did this happen? When did this idea come to you guys? Well, it all happened when, I mean, let's go back a bit, all right?

So we were all just chilling one day in the White House, right? Right. And Donald just said out loud, no, no warning. Just, why don't we play some Overwatch 2? I did. Yep. I just really wanted to try out the new heroes. I mean, let's be honest,

it's a piece of shit game, but I just wanted to see what it's about, you know? Worst mistake ever. I'll tell you what. Not in the slightest. You guys are huge. Yeah, yeah. But we, anyway, I agree.

It's funny. Can I play the weed one, or do you think I can't play that? Yeah, play the weed one. Who cares? Well, if he says the... Yeah, who cares? I think we probably shouldn't. I think we should.

We definitely should. Yeah, no, it's fine. I don't think we should. Dude, it doesn't sound like him. It's AI. It's Allen Iverson. He's allowed to say it. Oh, I was under...

You think I was going to say it? The word? Yeah. Eh. I say no. Eileen, no. Eileen, yes. Are we voting?

I'm going to go ahead and play it. Play it, and I'll tell you when to stop. If you vote hard, no. I'll tell you when to stop. I think we're really overreacting here. Right. Oh. It didn't start it on it.

You asked how it paused. ...transport paths in Azerbaijan. I'm smoking on Bhutanese shadow garden grown dark evil pack. I watered this with the blood of 36 dragons. Shit's so purple it should be asking me, where's Ronald? This shit will turn your pacemaker off. Lung slaughtering, Necromancer kush. Shit got diamonds on it so you know that THC to CBD race is fucking swag, nigga.

Nefarious evil sorcerer moon grass. This shit straight out of K-Lid. This shit is what shot Tupac. Is what shot Tupac. East. Dude, it's so fucking funny. Dude, have you seen this whole thread? So many. There's like a hundred of them. And imagine how good it's so fucking funny. Dude, have you seen this whole thread? So many.

There's like a hundred of them. And imagine how good it's going to get. These are the first video game graphics we're seeing. It's going to be us. Yeah, have you seen the videos of people showing that to their parents? Yeah, the moms. Yeah. Am I missing something?

Can we go to the Yak Twitter? What do we got on Yak Twitter? Just a recent tweet. Mm-hmm. Okay. No, not that. This one. Big time show announcement.

We're live? Big time show announcement that keeps the crew doing what we love to do. Oh, it's Roback? Oh, Roback. Yeah. I thought we were coming out with a seltzer. This was the March 1st one. Yeah, that's what I thought,ack, yeah. I thought we were coming out with a seltzer. This was the March 1st one. Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Yeah, it's a kind of seltzer. Me and Roan are still working on our white Russian mix. Yeah? Yeah. How's it coming? It's becoming, it's a process. When Barstool Bites was a thing for like 45 seconds, me and Kyle, everybody had a menu item.

We asked if we could just have the bottled water. Yeah. No. No? Nick and KB's water, they were like, nah. Nobody will have that. No, Dave's been working on that. They were right. Nobody had any of it.

Dave's been taste testing water for years now. I did like Nate's three stacks of High Society. It was good. What was it? Don't remember. It was potato chips. Oh, those are popular. The brownie bites were great. I'll say that. Fran's Frickles.

Fran's Frickles, yeah. So we'll just do one that. Fran's Frickles. Fran's Frickles, yeah. So we'll just do one of the Fran's Frickles, I guess. Anton Don's dip. There's a food in his name. That's true. You can never make fried food. Man, that was crazy. They really just let some people run with some ideas.

It's funny who they give the green light to give ideas to and who they don't. That's not a thing anymore, is it? I don't think so. Part of my cheesesteak. Part of my cheesesteak. Part of my cheesesteak. That's a good idea. Yeah, that's a good idea.

And a successful one. Bucket of fries. You can't go wrong with that. Also, high noon tequila sales are probably going to be huge. Yes, definitely. Summer's coming up. Do we have to take sides? Of vodka or tequila or just be both?

No, of malt, no malt. You know what I mean? Yes, we're a high noon show. I'm a high noon guy. So we're high noon. We're high noon. So we don't like... Yeah, okay.

Right. Okay. Let's talk about it. Should we or... If you'd like to, go ahead. You want me to? Please. You tell me, host.

Ron, why don't you read the high noon ad? You got it. High noon is a hard seltzer, maybe. No, I usually do the high noon ad. Why don't you rip it then? I do it very well. No, no, I want you to do it. Because now you're setting me up because you know you do it better.

No, I don't want to set you up. Didn't you know you do it better? Why don't you do it and replace it with tequila? But I already did the other one. Or see if you can do it without the script. Ah, you do it. You got it. You can't.

Can you? Yeah, you definitely can't. You go ahead. Do it. Do it. No script. Do it. No script.

I won't run to read it. I could do it with no script. Do it. If I want to. Do it no script. I want Rowan to read it. I could do it with no script. Do it. If I want to. What's the second line? High noon is a blank. What? Is a blank with a blank. It's a, well, now you're putting me on the spot.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Rowan, just do it. Because you can't do it. High noon hard sell, sir. It's hard sell with. It was real juice, real vodka. Yeah.

For real people like you and me. It's never been said in an ad before, but. It doesn't do it. I know in hard seltzer. It's hard to whiff. It was real juice, real vodka. Yeah. For real people like you and me. It's never been said in an ad before, but. It doesn't have malt. Going extemporaneous. Those other seltzers. Now have the peach and the pineapple in 700 milliliter cans. Big cans. Okay.

You can continue. You already knew that, huh? My favorite flavor is. I like the peach. You got to switch it up. You say peach every day. But that's my favorite flavor is i like the peach you gotta switch it up you say peach every day but that's how you don't but that's my favorite flavor you switch it up that's my favorite flavor you switch your favorite although the their new tequila seltzers which not on this they have strawberry which is probably going to be pretty good yeah i bet the tequila seltzers are going to be glowing endorsement probably going to be pretty good

i haven't had it. I can't speak from experience. I'm betting. They're paying you. Given High Noon's track record of delicious flavors, I would say the strawberry will be very good. It's a safe bet. Only 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar.

I like strawberry margaritas. Me too. I like strawberry-flavored everything. But all year round or just in the warmer months? Strawberry-flavored things way better than actual strawberries. You know what the best? The daiquiri pina colada, but not as good as a high noon. There we go.

Yes. Look for them on Drizzly or at your local convenience store or liquor store and visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Kate, have we sent you to the doctor yet to figure out why you're so cold? I went the other morning and I sat there forever and they canceled. They didn't tell me. They canceled while you were sitting in there? Yeah.

I never heard of that. They did that to me too recently. It's a hoot. So I got to figure it out again. I think I'm going next week. I'm so cold. I'm tired of being cold. My lips were blue after the show yesterday. Both sets.

Easy. Easy. It's different in my mic, TJ. I did scream. Blue waffle was that a myth or was that a real thing remember

what was that it was everything everywhere all at once I think but the blue waffle is like a sex term isn't it

it's like a it's like a STD but it's like I think it's like nasty pussy I thought it was a specific STD like a disease

yeah there was a thing about the imagery of that. What is that? Yeah, it's the description of the disease. Nasty pussy. Nasty pussy.

Oh, this is the worst case I've ever seen. All right, so I'm seeing here that you think your pussy's nasty? Whoa. That was spot on. Gross. Remember, have you guys ever seen Knocked Up? Yeah. The doctor's doing the, he's like the gynecologist, and he's doing the, I? Yeah. The doctor's doing the...

He's like the gynecologist, and he's doing the... I don't know what he's doing. He's like, oh, yeah. He's like, you definitely are sisters. Oh, yeah. That's right. Very similar. It's so funny.

Was that Walsh? Who's the actor? I don't know who that is. I was going to say Paul Rudd, but then I realized he's the main character. No, that's... No, it's... Seth Rogen. No.

No, the gynecologist is Walsh. Yes. Isn't his name Walsh? Because I think he plays Walsh in all the movies, but his actual name is Walsh. So he's also in... He's trying to get in the fraternity in old school, right? Right. And then he...

He's like, I need this. Yeah. Yeah. That's him, right? I think that's Walsh. You think it's Walsh? I don't know. Oh, Walsh? I think it might be W him, right? I think that's Walsh. You think it's Walsh? I don't know. Oh, Walsh?

I think it might be Walsh. Who's the most famous Walsh? Bill? Boy, Sean Walsh, probably. The guitarist. Joe? Yes. The Eagles?

I would imagine. Oh, Joe Walsh. No, Bill, Bill. The crime guy, right? Who? No, that's not Joe Walsh. Joe Walsh is the Eagles guy. I'm talking about the crime. Do you know who I'm talking about? Walsh, the crime guy. Yeah, but that's not Joe Walsh. Joe Walsh is the Eagles guy. I'm talking about the crime guy.

Do you know who I'm talking about? Walsh, the crime guy. Yeah, but it's not Joe. I don't know what it is. I'm looking at you trying to figure it out. Joe Walsh? Who's the goddamn crime guy? I thought it was Joe Walsh. America's Most Wanted. Is it Joe Walsh? I thought so.

America's Most Wanted. Walsh. This show's gone to shit. This show's terrible. This show needs Che. Hey, maybe it's circulatory. Is Che the glue? I don't know what it is, but it's like I'm freezing all day long at home. It's hard to go outside.

John Walsh. I like stand in the shower on Blasting Hot forever. Kid got killed. I know. You got to take cold showers. That's what, or you got to gotta take cold showers. That's what... You gotta do cold plunges. That's what you gotta do. I bought this very expensive

hot yoga package and my idea was I was gonna go to hot yoga every day and then I was gonna take a cold shower as soon as I got home. And then I went twice. How'd you come to that idea? I saw hot women on the internet doing it. That's all they feed you is cold shower, cold bathroom. Twitter talks about cold showers

a lot. All the women now are putting these little silver tubs in their backyards and then they're putting on cute bikinis and they're doing their ice dips every day for their... Why coffee in cold showers? That's what I've been told is the key to life. Actually, it might help because isn't that really good for your circulation? Yeah, they say. Maybe. That's probably what it is. Probably something to do with your circulation.

Robbie Fox has what I have. I know it. I think I have, yeah. My hands get really cold in the office sometimes. Is the office just cold? That was the cutest thing I've ever heard. Sit on my lap. Oh, man. Just kidding.

My hands are hot. My hands are piping hot all day. Ah! Ouch, dude. Don't touch me. Fuck. Bitches do get cold, though. They do.

My favorite wrestling clip from the 90s. TJ, I don't know if you know it. Hulk Hogan's supposed to be doing this thing where he's acting. And he's supposed to be scalded by water. And he just touches the water and he's ah it's not hot it's just uh well it was funny it sounds really fucking good yes funnier when you watch it it was really poorly acted cj play that clip back it's really poorly acted i need to see that now that was was great. I might have to go soon.

I don't because you recited that so well. Hulk Hogan's doing this thing. He's like, well, he's acting. You did a very good job of it. Was he bad at hitting people with chairs, Brandon? He was the worst, yeah. He hurt people? He would not commit to it.

He would stiff arm it and he would barely touch them. It was embarrassing. You just would not commit to it. He would stiff arm it, and he would barely touch them. It was embarrassing. You just got to go for it. Then he choked out that TV show host. Richard Belzer, who just died. Yes. Who just died last week. Guy said wrestling was fake, and then Hulk Hogan on his show just choked him out.

Unconscious, yeah. And I think Hulk Hogan ended up buying him a house in France, because he sued him for a whole lot of money. Wow. Damn. See the storm chasers last night, Ron? What do you think about the storm chasers? Those boys better bring home a fucking storm.

I don't know why we sent them out there if they're not going to bring home a storm. I don't know why they went to Ole Miss. They were playing number 24, and they weren't going to storm. I think that, I mean. Sometimes you are the storm. Sometimes you can bring the storm. You should be able to create the storm. It seemed like they were pretty excited to see him at the game.

But I don't know. They need to try harder. be able to create the storm. It seemed like they were pretty excited to see him at the game. I don't know. They need to try harder. They need to just do it. Can I say something just as a critique? It looked like they were happy to be in the crowd and happy to be cheered, but they didn't look like they were committed to making a storm. You need to be in the front row of the student section going crazy.

That's kind of tough to storm with that crowd. There's nobody there. That's a drizzle. Even the videos of, like... Tommy looked like Paddington Bear. I heard in a Ralph Lauren meeting, they had a picture of Glennie up, being like, we need to recreate this look.

The perfect look. But, yeah, me and Caleb, at the our last game the mississippi state game we're in the front row of the student section going absolutely ape shit like he's doing the like dives and like we we like hold him up like antics like just going insane like creating the hubbub you can't be happy that was our first time out though that's true we didn't get it our first time we were at like miami of of Ohio or some shit like that. It's also a pretty tough thing to recreate. Like how good you guys were at that.

That's nice of you to say, but they need to fucking just go and get it. You know what I mean? College basketball is going to happen this year. They better just make it happen. It's not like storms are going to stop happening. We just were out there on the on the home on the home front tonight's a good chance what was the reason that you guys never did it at like any march madness games wasn't there some reason there's no home team oh yeah

yeah yeah that's what it was you have a favorite storm like one that sticks out that was like oh you always remember your first storm first storm first storm. It was our second game at Indiana against Michigan State. And they were like, even Glennie was talking about it. He said he was worried about getting onto the court. And a lot of times you can just run straight onto the court. But at Indiana, you have to descend. You have to climb down over something. It's like a 10-foot drop.

So we were struggling to get over. So I imagine it would be tough for the gang over there. But I think they have pretty stormable courts. I think TCU, is that where they're going tonight? Yeah, that's a pretty stormable court. They embraced it, right? We hit one last year, and they had us in the locker room afterwards. Yeah.

Yeah, didn't you or Caleb give a speech? Yeah, I gave a speech. So funny. It was preposterous. You know who's a great court stormer that could have gotten out of this one? I wouldn't want to lose him off this show, though. TJ is a hell of a court stormer. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. 100%. True. Yeah. I got two under my belt. Yeah. No, that's an absolute joy.

Even, yeah, it's so fun to do. Big Cat got one last year. Who's Purdue playing? Did you wear WVU UCLA? UCLA was number two. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. I've never court stormed. Me neither.

Field stormed, but not court stormed. Where at? Mississippi State beating Florida in 2000. Field stormed. I've never field stormed. Me neither. That's a lot bigger commitment. Yeah.

Yeah. You get off. Well, you just go with the crowd. Whenever the crowd ends up filing out, you go. But you can't halfway do it. You just got to run over. You got crowd ends up filing out, you go. But you can't halfway do it. You just got to run over. You got to get over bushes and all that shit. Uke somebody.

Yeah. Kyle Purdue is at Wisconsin on Thursday. Whoever Purdue is playing, because I don't watch basketball or even football that much. But whenever I'm casually watching, Purdue is like top five, and they get beat. You're not a Zach Eaddy guy? That happens every time. I think it happened a few days ago. I always see Purdue as like top three five and they get beat. You're not a Zach Eady guy? That happens every time.

I think it happened a few days ago. I always see Purdue as like top three and they get beat. That's not an upset if you beat Purdue, no matter what their rank is. If you beat Purdue, it's not an upset. Wasn't it Wisconsin against Purdue is how big that is? Purdue is always way too highly ranked. Purdue is always losing. That's not an upset if you beat Purdue moving forward.

They should never be favored. Have you all seen Zach Eady for Purdue? Looks like Giant Owen. Yeah, he's a white with floppy. He looks exactly like Owen. Floppy cut. Who's that Seton Hall big-ass European, dude? Is he in the league from a couple years ago?

I don't know. Yeah, the Georgie. Is he getting minutes? I don't know. Ben Chalashevy? Yeah, the Georgian. Georgie Ben Chalashevy? I don't think so. Is he getting minutes? I don't think so. Frank was at the Seton Hall game standing behind the... Was he showing nip?

He was showing nip. He was. Frank was. At the free throw, and they didn't miss a free throw until the last second, I don't think. Were they playing Villanova? Yes, they were. Perfect from the free throw line.

No way. The last second. So Frank inspired them. Nip works. He was doing the truffle shuffle out there. He had his shirt up and was going crazy. He's been at every event. Yeah, he's everywhere.

Went on his jinx date the other night. Then he was there. I think he's got something else this week, too. Of course he does. He was on the train together this morning. I feel like he's a celebrity. He must be getting there earlier, because I usually take the train with him at 1041. Is he getting there to take the train with you now?

Yeah, it was early. I haven't seen him all week. He probably has a better pop on that early one. I haven't seen him all week. Have you ever been to the airport with him? No. He can't move. He gets bombarded.

The fans waiting outside of dozen events. Yeah, on the platform at Jersey Transit, people just yelling across the thing. I don't know how they even knew it was him. He wasn't wearing his dozen jersey. You're going to think he is more recognizable than who? I mean, probably a couple quarterbacks. And Saquon Barkley.

Saquon, maybe. I think Frank is more recognizable than Saquon Barkley. Saquon maybe. I think Frank is more recognizable than Saquon Barkley. If you put them, if you place them in a random city, I mean, if you're just showing silhouette. At my rap battle, someone shouted out,

Frank the Tank! I actually heard that. I heard that while I was watching. And multiple people were referencing Frank the Tank. It's so crazy. I think, which quarterbacks is he more recognizable than

that are starting NFL quarterbacks right now? A lot. Matthew Stafford. I was going to say Jared Goff. I don't know about Stafford. Jared Goff. Her cousins? No.

Goff maybe. Goff maybe. More recognizable than... Geno Smith? Brock Purdy. Yes, Geno Smith. Definitely Brock Purdy. I think Macino Smith. Definitely Brock Purdy. I think Mac Jones?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Who else? And then there's other teams like Texans. Like Jacoby Brissett. Yeah, Davis Mills.

Falcons, Panthers. Yeah, all those teams. Desmond Ritter. He would be between like 18 and 25 of most recognizable NFL quarterbacks. We need to make a quarterback ladder every year and just wear Frank. Who's he behind? He's behind Mahomes, Josh Allen. He's behind Russell Wilson.

Aaron Rodgers. Lamar. Brady's gone, I would say. Somebody brought this argument up in the office the other day about Frank saying, other than Dave, who's the most recognizable Barstool employee? And we thought it was Frank. No, I think it's Dave, Big Cat, Frank. Big Cat can throw a hood on and be undercover.

You see Frank, you know that that's Frank. He only looks like 100%. The argument was him or maybe Glennie Balls. But if you're talking about throwing a hood on, sure, Dave can throw a hood on and be less recognizable, but if they're just out in the open being themselves, I think it's Dave, Big Cat, Frank. I think there's monuments less recognizable.

It's more recognizable. For me, it's Frank. You can see him from dozens of yards away and know immediately. You can be like, am I sure that's Frank? And then you see the chewable necklace. No, you never question. That's Frank. Well, except for the Phillies game guy. How'd you get him mistaken for Frank?

The Phillies game guy. That's right. Doppel for the Phillies game guy. How'd you get him mistaken for Frank? The Phillies game guy. That's right. That's right. Doppelganger. Yeah, man. Should we have him in for maybe just like a... What was the Phillies thing? Was Frank at a game and saw him, or we just saw the guy?

The guy was on the broadcast. Okay. That's one of the funnier. Someone DM'd me a picture yesterday of that photo on their wall behind their little bar cart. And they said this was my birthday present to myself. Got my picture of Frank up in my house. Very nice. Shout out to Chels.

Yep. Very talented. At Chill with Chels. Hit her up. Commission a painting. I mean. It is a great painting. Look at that.

Or just like buy this. Borrowed her DM. So fucking good. Do we sell that? Because he bought it. I don't buy this. Yeah. Borrowed her DNA. So fucking good. Do we sell that? Because he bought it. Do I sell this right now? No, no, no. Not this one, but like she should sell prints of this.

She must because the guy had a print and he messaged me. She does? I guess so. I don't know. Does Frank get a cut of that or how does it work? Is it fan art? I don't know. I guess like Michael Jordan doesn't get.

He wouldn't notice it with the cameo money. That's right. The picture is so good. It's so good. It's so... Something about it. What was it? What was the occasion? You're sick or what?

He had food poisoning, I think. Oh, yeah. Babe. You think it's famous? You think it's more... What paintings is this painting more famous than?

I mean, like, could it go in a museum? Yeah. Could it make a museum? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, could it go in a museum? Like, could it make a museum? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's phenomenal. It's so, like, it is actually emotional. Like, it gives you something.

It makes you feel something for sure. It's like a soft gaze and, like, the soft blues. It's like... I would hang it up. I would hang it up in my apartment. 100%. Yeah, so would I. I'd be, like, pissed if people touched it.

Yeah, I'll get it framed. Food poisoning. The Lego death started. Sit well. Yeah, what? What is this? It was al dente. Allergic to Boba Fett. Oh, my God.

All right, what do we got on the prep sheet? Mincy getting kicked out of a coffee shop because you guys were playing him in trivia? Crazy move, just going in. No headphones? No headphones. To a coffee shop. If you live in New Orleans, you Orleans you gotta know that's a possibility of him just showing up

and taking over yeah did you see the I guess it's a gif or maybe the video of his face in reaction to a question yeah he was thinking

I've never seen anything like it it was a real fake think it's like when you're cheating on a test like the teacher looks over at you did we see the mincey thinking thing

looking at boobs getting caught looking at boobs it was the most aggressive think I've ever seen looks over at you. We see the mincey thinking thing. Looking at boobs, getting caught looking at boobs. It was the most aggressive think I've ever seen in my life. It wasn't their question. Yeah, watch us. What's he looking at?

His laptop's on the ceiling. Why is his mouth wide open? You don't see a single tooth this entire time. Yeah. That's it. This is a great reaction to the tweet above this or something. Yeah.

How do you think that went, him getting kicked out? They probably heard Frank on the other end of the laptop screaming. I think a 19-year-old kid that worked there and was just tired of his shit just walked over and said, Hey, I'm sorry. We'll put up with it for an hour, and you've got to get the fuck out. And a cool-ass sounding accent. Yeah. And what do you think Mincy's reaction was?

Mm. Mm. And what do you think Mincy's reaction was? Mmm. Mmm. That's enough of that laptop while people are ordering the cappuccinos. Or some shit like that. I got a hone of fucking New Orleans. That was good. That was really good. I got to spend some more time down there.

It's always loud like that, too. It's a little louder than most other sentences. Yeah. Fuck. I'd love to do, like, a My Fair Lady, though, a neighborhood to neighborhood, because they definitely have some diverse accents throughout their neighborhoods. Yep.

You think that in the future, people will be able to say crazy shit and then just claim that they got deep faked? Yeah. Will it be a get-out-of-jail-free card? There'll probably be some automated thing that can tell if it's AI or not. I can see it being used.

Like, they take my voice and use it to call my parents and ask for money kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great idea. Stuff like that. Once they get the face down where it looks like you're

actually saying it on video yeah someone did it for joe rogan and they did like an ad yeah they didn't add for their or their brand yeah and they had it as so joe rogan was doing but it was like a pop-up ad on instagram or something like that so random people would see it now can you sue for that or it's like a no man's land i I don't know. I don't know actually. I don't know. Hmm. Didn't the South Park dudes just invest like $20 million into a deep fake studio? Probably.

Yeah. Yeah. How much are the South Park guys worth? Are they billionaires? So fucking money. I think 800 mil and 700 mil respectively. Jeez. Damn.

You had that? Yeah. I looked it mil and 700 mil respectively. Jeez. Damn. You had that? I looked it up not too long ago. Well, it's like mostly them that do the entire show. Which one's richer? I think it's the one you wouldn't think is richer. Stone? I put them both on equal plane. No, because Parker, I think, does more.

Dude, I met the guy on Seventh Act. Ray Parker and Matt Stone, correct? Yeah, Stone. Don't you know one of the dudes, correct? Yeah, Matt Stone. Don't you know one of the dudes, too? They're like CFO. I went to high school with him. But I think that they have the best comedy life of anyone because they're so successful.

Their show is still so funny. They do it all on their own terms, and they can lead a relatively normal life as opposed to, like, whatever, a Steve Carell or, like— The only thing is, during their heyday, that had to have been such a bitch going week to week and coming up with still topical things. That's six days to air. They had no time to ruin it. I felt so anxious. I know.

I wish they had more time. They need, like, the whole show to be done in, like, a day. Yeah. I wish they had more time. They need like the whole show to be done in like a day. Did you ever read the Rolling Stone article about like their height of their fame and how hard they were partying? They were like driving like hummers through ice sculptures into pools in their like massive sprawling backyards in Hollywood. Just living this like rowdy ass partying lifestyle. I think that they really lived it up at that time and have done a lot of it on their own terms. And, like, kept their head about them, which is, like, crazy. Are they quieted down now?

They live a normal life? I don't know. With $800 million, like, can they still do the show? What's the Simpsons creator's net worth? Groaning? Yeah. If he's not, he should be 31 seasons. Billionaire.

Same with fucking. Yeah, but does he own the show? 600 mil. Yeesh. But they also do that, like, they do that musical. Yeah. And then they do, like, live shows all the time. Who's that?

South Park dudes. They did, like, a live show at, like, Red Rocks. Like, very recently. Yeah, they were just singing songs from South Park. Yeah. Probably because they, like, felt like it. Yeah. The Book of Mormon, too. Yeah, Book were just singing songs from South Park. Yeah. Probably because they like felt like it. Yeah. The Book of Mormon too.

Yeah, Book of Mormon. Going strong everywhere. I feel like I missed the boat on South Park. I was there at the very beginning for like a year or two and I just stopped watching and never watched again. You can literally go back and like. I feel like I missed so much great stuff. It's so fucking good.

You just like see every like scenario so like clearly and like uniquely. It's funny as fuck. I remember that was me and my dad's show that we would watch together, and then every Christmas I'd spend, all his presents would be from Spencer's. I'm like, Merry Christmas, here's a giant Cartman doll. My dad's like, thanks. What the hell am I going to do with this? He's got a t-shirt with Timmy on it.

Timmy was funny as fuck. Jimmy, Jimmy. Jimmy was funny as fuck Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy was funny he was so funny still is who's Jimmy the handicapped one

he has some great moments so it's Timmy and Jimmy were different flavors like superhuman and I think I had a Cartman shirt in 1997

before I even knew what the fuck it was Cartman was dumb funny so funny writing a fucked up character must be so funny especially when you have other characters Carmen was dumb funny. So funny. Writing a fucked up character must be so fun, especially when you have other characters to check them. So it's like you have the moral high ground.

You can have Stan and Kyle being like, that's fucked up to say, and then he can just say the most fucked up shit. Yeah. When he pretended he had Tourette's. That's just a hilarious fucking... A hilarious episode. The one where they create the Christian rock band.

Faith Plus One. Yeah. And they have their black friend, and they're like, go downstairs to your basement and get your bass. And he's like, I don't have a bass. And they're like, you're black, you have a bass in your basement?

And he goes downstairs, and there's just a bass sitting there. He can play it so well. And he's like, I can't play the bass. And they're like, yeah, you can. And isn't the whole thing that they're just taking regular songs and they're just replacing the word love with Jesus? Probably.

It's been so long. They're like breaking records. Have you seen that big revival that's going on in like tennessee or something yeah i thought it was ohio it's like some college some religious college and the boonies asbury or something like that they're like on week four and they haven't left the church and they're just getting pizzas delivered well they just had a huge measles outbreak in the church like the that's the new yeah what's what's the new the news coming out of it it was like every week the news like they're still going they're still going and this it's like, there's been a measles outbreak.

Brendan, have you ever been to a snake handling church? I was aware of one. I never went. We knew people that did it, but I never went in there, no. People die all the time. Like circus tents. It's to handle rattlesnakes to show your god's protecting you your face oh really and you'll they die off all the time yeah there's like little kids running around

in there while the yeah probably had no faith there's the people who yeah that's true my favorite part of tiktok now is um and i don't know why it's pentecostal churches set to rap music okay it's pentecostal churches and they're dancing and they're absolutely going crazy it's just set to any random rap song I can watch them all day my entire TikTok is this guy from Boston he's probably like 19, 20

but he talks like an old New Yorker he's like I don't know about this Nirvana I don't listen he wears like fedoras and really big suits and he wants to be Frank Sinatra real bad. That's awesome. I want him hired. I've been watching a lot of Johnny Carson clips too.

And Tommy watched Johnny Carson for two hours last night. On TikTok? No, just on YouTube. That's how we old people watch. Back in the day we just used YouTube. A lot of people. Is he funny as fuck? Johnny Carson, yes.

He's the greatest entertainer that America's ever had. For real? Yes. That's when it meant something. I feel like all those dudes were just trying to be Carson and they're just so far

removed from it now. They're all still trying. Yeah. I mean, he invented the entire medium, basically. I'm pretty sure YouTube still has more active users than TikTok, Instagram,

Twitter combined. Yeah, probably. It's like 97% of people have watched a YouTube video. Well, YouTube has every kid in America. It seems like they have everyone. Yeah, but adults have their attention go elsewhere. Every kid in America loves YouTube. Yeah. That's like I always have a YouTube tab opened every day.

That's every demographic. That's how I start my brain. I think of a clip to watch in the morning, I put it on YouTube, and that's how I get my day going. What was today? I haven't done it yet. I don't need my brain going yet.

It's 2 o'clock, Brad. I've been doing shows ever since I got here. What did you do yesterday? Yesterday was Johnny Carson. What's your most watched music video? Shameless by Garth Brooks and Billy Joel. Actually, no, Justin Timberlake and Garth Brooks singing Friends in Low Places live in Nashville in 2014. Watch it all the time.

Okay. I love it. It's a Justin Timberlake show. It brings Garth Brooks out, and it's just great. You ever see the Rolling Stones' David Bowie Dancing in the Streets music video without the music? Oh just great. You ever see the Rolling Stones' David Bowie Dancing in the Streets music video without the music? Oh, yeah. You ever see that one?

It's one of my all-time favorites. It's just the shuffling foot sounds as they're going around. Highly recommend. Sorry, go ahead, Ron. No, no, no. Not at all. No, you're bad at all.

We're just talking shit on this show. Just riffing is what we're doing. We're really just fucking talking. We might be yakking. Just a little bit of yakking. You want to spin that goddamn wheel? Yeah. Y'all really left me out to dry on this thing, by the way.

What happened? I made a motion in the yak chat to get rid of the wheel, and I thought, okay, well, I'll say it, and then everybody else will speak up, and nobody joined. Or they came for you. Huh? I said nothing.

Yeah. I was just out there by myself, and then they got shot down hard. So you just went pedal to the metal. Why not? Why not rip the Band-Aid off? Just ate it. Sponsors on it. The wheel's not funny.

Let's get rid of the wheel. Let's do a heavy revamp. Yeah, I do think there's- I honestly think it's just the wet. I think it's the shape of it. If it was a square. Are you thinking that too? You're not changing anything. You're just putting corners on it.

Spin a Monopoly board. What are those things you used to poke into your front lawn and they'd fucking spin? Pinwheel. What if we did a pinwheel instead of a regular pinwheel? We use actual wind to determine the wheel. Let's do one of those fortune teller things. Oh yeah. Sell of those fortune teller things.

Oh, yeah. Sell that bitch. To find out who has a crush on who in here. No, don't. Spin the square. Oh, yeah, we refreshed it the other day. I'm letting out maybe your most pure... Why? Me?

Of all time. What was it about? Pick central. Yeah. You're talking about fried it about? Pick Central. Yeah. You're talking about you like fried oysters more than fried shrimp? Yeah, I do. And then... I like fried oyster po'boys more than I like fried shrimp.

Yeah. But the why was when we were talking about grilling, and they said they prefer gas grills to charcoal, and that's when I said, why? That's absurd. That's ridiculous. That's not grilling. You're saying it's the flavor or the process?

Flavor, process, all of it. Have you ever had the fried clams from White Castle? No. Oh, God. Oh, no. I did it once. I live next door to one in Columbus, and it was... Those can't be real clams.

I just don't even know. All right, Kyle. Kyle. What's your wheel? What's your wheel? One more thing we got to do. Kyle, two syllables? Next week. Two syllables.

Salad bowl. $100 speed run. I don't know. I was deeply burdened when I made this. You want to redo yours? I would like to one day. You've had quite the comeback. Yeah.'t know. I was deeply burdened when I made this. You want to redo yours? I would like to one day. You've had quite the comeback. Yeah.

I know. To be his back tour. I recommend it. Because when you come back to normal, you feel like you're ten times normal. Yeah. Yeah. What did it? What do you attribute it to?

Nothing. Nothing. Because everything I tried didn't work. It just came. Just took time. Yeah. Great. No, like, blood infusions or anything like that? Or new drugs?

Getting off drugs? No. Sober time? Exercise? No, like, healthy lifestyle changes helped. Really? Did it? Right.

Did they hurt? It's all placebo, yeah. Interesting. It seemed like it was just after the break. You just came back and you were better. I don't know. I think starting to drink again helped. Yeah.

Yeah. Not always. For all those kids out there listening. Yeah, I'm being tense. Yeah. Not always. For all those kids out there listening. Yeah, I'm being tense. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I freed myself. That sounds awesome.

I fucking love drinking, man. It's the best. It is. I'm drinking tonight. I'm not good at it. Me too. It's damn good. Heavy.

I'm going to play some pool with Francis. What is today? Tuesday? Wednesday? I have a tungsten meeting after work. Oh, Heavy. We'll play some pool with Francis. What is today? Tuesday? Wednesday? Wednesday. I have a tungsten meeting after work. Oh, nice. So I have some business.

What do you mean? What do you mean a meeting? A committee? Yeah, the committee's meeting. What's the committee? The Tungsten Committee of Greater New York. The Tungsten Federation of Greater New York. Who?

Just eight of those guys over there. They all have tungsten cards. Carry them around. And all their numbers are like one through eight. Right. What's your number? Two. Your number two. Can I hold it? And all their numbers are like one through eight. Right. What's your number? Two. Your number two.

Can I hold it? Nice. Isn't it like heavy? Okay. Yeah, it's 14 times heavier than a regular card. Oh, man. Where's your, do you have your credit card knife? I gave all those away.

Somebody had one the other day. Oh, you had it. That's right. If you needed to chip out of like an avalanche with this thing, you could. Yep. You think you could slit a flight attendant's throat? At the meeting today, we have a lot of things to go over, and if you agree

with it, yeah. Like the Continental Congress? Isn't Tommy in that, though? He's going to miss it. Maybe he could zoom in from the road? No, you have to be on location. Can't no-zooming in.

I mean, this wouldn't do anything against anybody. What? Are you kidding me? So flimsy. That's not the part that hurts people's ass. You're talking about the handle. You have to hold it really tight. Put your thumb on the...

I think it's more of a jab knife and not a slash. It's more of a... Yeah, you could shank someone with that. Stab that box. Let's do a blood oath. Yeah. That's my wheel slice. Blood oath?

Draw just a speck. Oh, I don't want to do that. Okay, let's do it. Let's do it. Imagine if we did a blood oath with Big Cat and I here. Oh, can you stab the beach ball? I'm so mad. No.

Yeah, stab the beach ball. Yeah, I want to see him stab the beach ball. Obviously, it's going to pop the beach ball. I want to see if you can get it in one stab Like if Or if it'll Yeah we throw it to you and you Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Can you throw it

Can we throw it to you and you have to stab it Oh yeah throw the knife It's stuck on the knife Yes Okay Yeah It's going to be a flimsy throw Why

Because it's coming from Sass He said it was a flimsy handle Well don't Okay what are we doing Whoa whoa whoa what's going on here Why? Because it's coming from Sass? He said it was a flimsy handle. Well, don't. Okay, what are we doing? What's going on here? Oh, he's going to throw the beach ball onto the knife. Get an angle.

Make sure we. Oh, wow. It's not going up to instantly. Oh, it popped. That wasn't a very satisfying pop, though. That wasn't satisfying. It was. Yeah, perfect slice. It gashed it.

It played it. Yeah, it really did. Now we don't have a beach ball. No, that was not worth it at all. Now we don't have a beach ball. No. That was not worth it at all. Now we don't have a goddamn beach ball. We've got a beach ball. I have three more.

I have three more. Can you get them? Yeah, throw it. Should I go get it? Should I go refill the beach ball? That shit's going to bounce. Throw it at the wood. What's the end game there?

That was awesome. That's some Tommy shit. You think he would like to come in here and throw some knives? He would fucking love it. Get him some throwing knives. Yeah, we were watching knife throwing last night. Oh, Kate's throwing it like a knife. Oh, wow, it worked.

Oh, wait. Oh, no, I didn't. Yes, Kate. You just pulled it out, though. There's no proof. Sharp blade. I'm a soldier. I'm a soldier.

Kate's got a knife Sharp blade. I'm a soldier. I'm a soldier. Ooh. Kate's got a knife thrower. Monet. Kate throws a knife like a spear. A dart. On some survival shit, she could definitely spear fish. I just bought a spear the other day, like a harpoon. Oh, no, it was like a real, like.

Yes, man. Nice. Damn. It was like a real, like, Spartan spear. See that? They were selling it in Rural King in St. Clairsville, Ohio. I'll do that again. During the pandemic, Pat bought a

really accurate blow dart. Oh, nice. How could you tell? Wow! Okay. We're killing with that thing. Let's throw it through each other. One stab. Chef Don killing with that thing. Let's throw it through each other. One stab. Chef Donnie was in here.

He would throw the knife. Have we spawned your wheel yet? Did you add blood oath? Craig's was crusade. Is salad bowl that we just have to get salad bowls? It's like a game. It's like a charades type game. It's actually really, really fun.

I like that. You have an option. You could, on your wheel, make 99% death to wheel. Whoa. I could, and I might. I just thought I had teammates here that were going to at least. But the thing is, it's sold, and you've got to go slow with the taping. Sold is fine.

That's a different animal. You want things so black and white. You want them just split. That's where I come from. Exactly. Black or white. Yeah. If we were a pirate ship.

One's good. One's better. And you tried to mutiny. And we all just sat there. And you just get killed. Even though we were all below deck being like man fuck this cat we're all we're all on board take over the wheel yeah exactly but oh you're walking the plank alone on that one brother i love the wheel and i'd respect it no matter what

the way it went down was i literally said motion to end the wheel five minutes go by i'm thinking okay well nobody's joining and the next message was big cat saying hell no that was it it was over jay saying it so jay came in with it sold and then kyle suggested a revamp i didn't think i don't even know this threat i said that was you revamp okay yeah maybe if you save my fucking name in your phone instead of kyle too it's not kyle too kb2 second kb i do need to change i don't know any of you i got nitro z wrestler from west virginia i feel like those are both pretty apparent nitro z okay it is che but how is that apparent? Nobody else would know it. I did. What am I? Oh.

Your phone number. Yeah, yeah. You start with a five. Do not answer. Damn. The only one is Kate. Kate is Kate. Ah.

What am I? Oh, you're TJ Hitchings. Yeah, you're good. A little formal. Yeah. You're Caleb's friend. I am. Jesus. I take that're TJ Hitchings. Yeah, you're good. A little formal. Yeah. You're Caleb's friend. I am. Jesus.

I take that as a badge of honor. He might be one of the most recognizable in here. Like you said, Nick, with those locks. Locks. Luscious locks. Fucking imagine Delilah getting her hands on him. Chopping them locks. Samson.

The biblical thing. I was thinking of the Delilah radio personality oh I was thinking hey there Delilah plain white tease plain white tease was that about the bitch from Samson

or was that no I don't think so that Delilah is on the radio all the time yeah she's on different stations doing one of those

and she will be playing different songs at the same time she's so good at giving advice too and she's such a good listener. She's such a good listener. She's terrible at giving advice. No, no, no.

You know who we're talking about? I hate her. She's got to be worth a ton of money. What's her catch? Love somebody tonight? Love somebody tonight. Yeah, I think those syndicated radio people are worth a whole lot of money. Fucking Casey Kasem.

He was a real dickhead, wasn't he? Was he? Casey Kasem. There's behind-the-scenes recordings where he's yelling at people. They're hilarious. I was a big Rick Dees guy. Elvis Duran. Burke Minahan.

Elvis Duran. One of my big ones. Elvis Duran. Were they pranking people? He was a boxer. Yep. They were doing prank calls. They always played him on the school bus.

Always on the way to school. I mean, his name was Elvis, kind of gives him a leg up. Him and Gerbach. What other Elvises were really out there, historically? Doomerville. Yep. Black Elvis. Black Elvis.

Like Bubba Hotep. Can we find out how much Delilah is worth? What's her name? I think it's Delilah. Yeah, but what's her last name? Delilah. It doesn't have one. Delilah Delilah.

She's like a syndicated, smoky-voiced radio host. I think it's smoky. I think it's velvety. It's velvety. Four million? That's it? Broke-ass Delilah? I wish I hadn't seen her. I wish I hadn't seen her. Oh, that's her?

She's blonde? She has 13 kids? I thought she had to have dark hair. Well, that's good for her. Why? What's she up to? It says her salary's one million. Her net worth is four. Well, she hasn't for her. Why? What's she up to? Well, she's inaccurate, though. I don't trust that. It says her salary's $1 million. Yeah? And her net worth is $4.

Well, she hasn't been famous that long. Yes, she has. Yes, she has. How long has she been famous? The longest. Has she joined KLS? Yeah, but that's not famous. She's been a household name for like...

Since the 90s. Yeah, since the 90s. Indicated personality of the year in 2016. I don't think she was famous in 2002. Yes, she was. Yes, she was. Lila? Yes. Oh, man. That's the era when I knew her. I don't think she was famous in 2002. Yes, she was. Yes, she was. Lila? Yes.

Oh, man. That was maybe her era when I knew her. I wonder how much Paul Harvey had. People calling up to wish their, I just want to wish my wife a happy anniversary. Oh, Paul Harvey made bank. God damn. It's a good day. 6'2".

Back when radio was good. Who the hell's Paul Harvey? Who the fuck is Paul Harvey? See, this is why women should be worth $150 million. She got dicked. She got dicked. She got dicked. He was the news guy. He would do a news segment on every radio station in America.

Never heard of him. Yes, you have. He did a Super Bowl commercial. Dodge. Or the Farmer. In case I'm yelling at someone, it's one of the funniest... Maybe probably not one of the funniest, but I remember it being funny. What does he say?

What's your favorite? Don Imus? Yeah. Are you still listening to baddie... He had a way with bad guys....all the nappy head air. Oh, God. I remember it being... What does he say? What's your favorite name? Don Imus? Yeah. Are you still into baddie and Rutgers guys? All the nappy head air. Oh, God. One of the people

at my parents' old folks' homes, like all the little old ladies were downstairs, and I was walking by with my son, and my dad, and my dad's like, everybody, this is Kate,

and they said, oh, you're the one. This was when we had the Sirius XM show. This is the one who does the radio, and they're all making like a nice fuss,

and one of the ladies goes, oh, are you friends with Don Imus? Like the radio's all in one building. I think he's dead. Totally. Great friend. I think he's dead. But yeah, it was kind of like assumed that we all were in the same boat.

In the world we were headed towards cancel, he really jumped the line ahead of everybody. He really did. He was the first one. What he said, even in like 1980, say what he said. That's crazy. What'd he say?

He called a group of Rutgers basketball players nappy-headed hoes. Yeah. Rutgers basketball also, they also had a coach who got canceled. Mike Rice, 2011. What was he doing, throwing chairs? Yeah. It was the same year as Ray Rice getting canceled and Condoleezza Rice starting protests on campus.

He just had a bad name. Rice year. It was a Rice year. What was Sidney Rice doing at that time? I think he was first out of the league. Is he dead? Sidney Rice? No.

He might be dead. No. Please, no. I liked him. He was in the league. Sidney Rice is not dead. No. Please no. I liked him. He was in the league. Sidney Rice is not dead. It was Troy Williamson. I think one of those South Carolina receivers died.

Alshon Jeffries is fine. Of course. He lives in Arizona or Southern California right now. I just heard an Alshon Jeffries story. Maybe he had a box at the Super Bowl or some shit. I bet he did. That's some Alshon Jeffers stuff right there. I saw that Super Bowl video on

Reddit this morning and it was on the popular page and it had like 60,000 upvotes, but it was posted eight hours ago. Interesting. That was the reason our video got taken down yesterday. Fucking BBC.

They're on my list. Them and Viacom. What did Viacom do? They took us down a couple months ago for watching 10 seconds of an episode of Robin Big. Ah, damn. Fucking Viacom. Even though the clip had 800,000 views on YouTube and was posted 15 years ago. I think yesterday was worth it.

That video was amazing. Yeah, that was funny as fuck fuck I want to trap somebody I just got to figure out how what kind of trap I don't know yet the hardest part and you have the trap so our video that we watched yesterday was uh the way Alabama police got child support delinquents was they told them, you're going to win tickets to the Iron Bowl, Alabama-Auburn. And when they showed up, they got them. And that led to 85. Hilarious. Not only was there no tickets, but you're also going to prison.

Yeah. And then a coal smith was trapping people with that. Wait, what? With what? With her vagina. Oh, wow. Like that old man. She trapped him in a penis.ith was trapping people with that wait what with what with her vagina oh like that old old man

she trapped him in a penis oil baron if you can do it I mean by all means she got the money though

seems like a great well she died like two years after him yeah broken heart she didn't even

see 40 I don't even think it's yeah it's not that bad of a thing to do. You guys watch 90 Day Fiance? There's like this 67-year-old woman who's like trapping a young 24-year-old dude from, where is he, from Egypt or some shit like that?

And her family doesn't like it. His name's Osama, and they're just pissed the fuck off. Tough name to have. Yeah. It's tough, dude. It's tough. I think that if you're 67 years old and you can get some 24 year old dick, you're

entitled to it. There was a comedian way back in the day when I would do open mics. She had a sugar daddy and that was how she could do stand up as her main thing. She had a sugar daddy and she was super open about it. We go to the beach ten times a year. It's a delight.

You have to fuck them? Yeah. Probably just really trying to show her off more than anything. Just try to go to the beach and be like, hey, look what I got. It was more about being arm candy than anything else. Viagra coming out had to have really fucked this off.

Had to have been so mad. The hell is this? Yeah. I remember Hugh Hefner talking about he finishes his sex but he doesn't cum. And they're like, what? What do you mean?

It's probably just like, that's enough. Phantom bust. Yeah, I think he just like... He just gets some reps in. I've done that. Phantom bust? Yeah, just been like, that's enough. Phantom bust. Yeah, I think he just like... He just gets some reps in. I've done that. Phantom bust? Yeah, just been like, alright. But did you achieve climax, or did you just... Sass fucks like a mime.

Pulls out the invisible towel. Holy shit, where did it all go? Busted so hard. It's trapped in a box. Disappeared. I busted so hard it's disappeared. Good dream. Did we ever figure out this wheel situation?

Did you spend your $100? Oh, yeah. Kyle has to spend $100 real fast. Do it real fast, all right. How many items? Let's spend it. It's just got to be $100. Tell me one. Oh. Okay, he's running out of the room.

He's leaving? Running down the hall. Oh, he's going outside. He's leaving the office? Yes, he's leaving the office. All right, so it's $208. He started at like $208.40. He was so down for that.

I know. What do you all think? Two minutes, he'll be back? Where is he going to go? I think the Duane Reade, there's a spy store down the way. Duane Reade, you can't count on because that line will get crazy. That's tricky. They're not in a hurry. But it's his best chance of getting, like if he gets like an electric razor,

that'll be like 50 bucks. Also, it didn't have to be him. Wouldn't we have spun a wheel of names if we had to do that? I'll just let him go. He's already gone. There's nothing we can do now. It's his wheel. He knows better than we. This rowback, man, I'll tell you what, feels good on the body. It really does.

It's extremely comfortable. I was saying it before, it's my travel. It's my go-to travel day. This is perfect travel wear. Couldn't he technically have just ordered something online? Does it have to be in real life? I guess the speed run part so he has to run. Yeah. Again, his wheel, I guess.

I hope he gets ice cream. I assume we were supposed to spin for who was going to do it, right? Yeah. It's his wheel. It's his wheel, really. When Kyle gets going, just let him go.

Yeah, there's no... No stopping Kyle Bauer. Yeah, he's really turbo charged. What do y'all think? Two and a half? Three? More than that. Minutes, then he'll be back?

Yeah. What time did he leave? We had a clock up. We're at 1.02. I think it'll be closer. Oh, 1.03. I think... Five and a half?

I think he'll be back in four. I feel like he sat there quietly for a minute contemplating. I think he has a plan. I think he'll be back in four. Even with his plan, he had to go to CVS, the bodega across the street. I don't think that bodega, you can get enough items. Anywhere else you'd have to wait. Like if he goes to a restaurant, you'd have to wait.

A big bottle of Advil is like $25. The liquor store. Oh, the liquor store. There is a liquor store. That's one purchase. Probably not crowded. Probably the best. Probably his best bet.

Go in there, bottle of booze, be back. They ask across the street. I think that beats Dwayne Reed. I think he booze be back they ask across the street I think that beats Dwayne Reed I think he's going to buy buy baby down the street that's six blocks away

isn't it that's like a thousand dollars worth of there's ATN that doesn't count no he could knock out the giving the hundred

to the homeless person that was also he spun for on my wheel I think he needs to bring back an item oh the street jeans oh the street jeans he's not there anymore there's somebody there though selling other crap really I think he needs to bring back an item. Oh, the street jeans. Oh, the street jeans. Oh, he's not there anymore.

There's somebody there, though, selling other crap. Really? I think our jeans guy moved on. Yeah. Have you guys seen that couple that lives on the mattress? Oh, yeah, right in front of the five guys. I've never seen a love like that. There's multiple guys that wind up with her, though.

I've seen just this week. It's one particular, and they're always facing each other and sharing noodles. The older guy with the kind of slick, yellowish hair? No. Hold on. I'm thinking of someone. He was her old boyfriend.

She's got a new guy. He's her old mattress hubby. Is he back? No. He seemed very in love. Dude, yesterday I was walking home, and I walked by a dude smoking crack. He was sitting on a corner. 27th Street by the McDonald's. No, this was at night by my apartment.

I probably got like 50 feet away from him and the crack started hitting him. And the noises that he was making made it seem like whatever that feeling is must actually be worth what he's going through. It's like howling into the moon. Really? He was like, howling into the moon. Really? He was like, like, as it was hitting him. I've heard it's great. I was like, holy shit. I've heard it's really good.

This guy's having a fucking blast. Like, he was, like, charging up, like, the fucking Hulk. It was crazy. I'm pretty sure there's an open-air heroin market by the old office. Interesting. Oh, boy. Yeah, probably. I used to live next to a clean needle place.

Oh, disposing? Yeah. Where you get them? Yeah. Where you get the needles? Yeah. People would line up all down the block. There was a dude, Richard Nichols, who used to be the manager of the Roots, and he's

passed on now. But he told a story one time of, like, this the late 80s and they were passing a bong around. And then like one dude put like cocaine in the fucking bong. And like they passed it around and he didn't know what to do. And he hit it. And like immediately he was like he just his eyes couldn't he couldn't take his eyes off the fucking bong as it was getting passed around. He was, like, already fiending for it. Like, he was just, like, the first time he hit it, he just, like, wanted it so fucking badly.

Yeah. Which must be just insane. But crackheads do live for a long-ass time, dude. Yes, they do. Go back to the old neighborhood or whatever, like, the crackheads will still be there. It'll survive. Like, they'll have, like, their small intestine outside of their body, and they'll just be, like, chilling. There's guys with, like, holes in them.

Yeah. They're just like, yeah. Crackhead's like a preservative. Put that shit in your body, it just embalms you from the inside, gets you pretty lean. They're always pretty lean. Have we looked into it? Could be the new, what is it, Ozempic? Yeah, honestly.

That's now like $13.50 a month. What did it used to be? Well, the people that aren't diabetic are having to pay that. Like $1,350? $1,350. Okay. Months? Yeah.

Damn, bro. Shkreli's out here. And when you stop doing it it you gain the weight back pretty much 99% of the time fast I always that's like drug you have to do it

for the rest of your life go ahead I always feel so smart when I listen to The Roots Black Thought is so detailed with his writing I get into moods where I just want to

listen to The Roots for like a week at a time he's my favorite rapper of all time I feel like it's a higher a higher level of music consumption it's my favorite rapper of all time. Like it's a higher, a higher level of music consumption. It's so good.

I mean, well the music is all actually, or mostly actually played. It's all playable, but the way that he, like his illusions, what he alludes to and the way that he rhymes stuff is like fucking genius. It's a cool song for me to say I'm listening to when a TikToker stops me as I walk through Washington Square Park? I've thought about that so many times.

That's tough that you've thought about that. Well, I usually think I'm like, if I'm listening to something, I'm like, I wonder if someone would stop me right now. So I could be like, oh, this is a good song. Yeah. But I don't want it to be like embarrassing. I don't want people to be like, L take. Yeah. Song.

Yellow by Coldplay. Yeah, yeah. James Blunt. Yeah. Actually, yeah, the needle talk dude. Yeah. Fantano, Anthony Fantano.

Fantano's like, L-take by Nick right here. L. Actual L. L. L. I can't believe KB's still gone. Six and a half minutes?

Six and a half. I was thinking 350. I think he's maybe wound up in some trouble. Yeah. W. W. W. I don't know if it qualifies as a speed run anymore.

Maybe he's buying some Kajish. You think he's getting... How do you think he's spending it? You think he's getting something for the group? You think he's just getting something for himself? Or is he getting knickknacks? A little part of me is hoping for a treat. I do.

It would be nice. But I know it will be something more. Hand warmers maybe. Yeah, something toasty. A warming vest. A hundred cheeseburgers. I spent $100 in seconds last night when I bought the Cosby Show DVD, full series DVD again.

Yeah, he wants to support. I keep losing some, so I gotta have the whole set. You loaned it out. Yeah. People don't want to give it back. Me and my kids probably watch it all weekend. Do they laugh at it? Oh, they love it, yeah. For real?

Have you broken the news to them yet? Have you broken the news to them? He Huh? Have you broken the news to them? He got out on technicality. That's all we need to know. That's going to be a tough sit-down conversation. A lot of people walking by are making me think they're Kyle, but they're not. That's why my dad would play me Cosby records when I was a kid, like his stand-up specials. And then I took him to see Cosby.

I got great seats. I had no idea. I didn't know. First time I heard Bill Cosby saying he used to be white, but then he got one freckle that kept growing. I was on the floor. That is funny. I saw him live in 92.

That sounded old the way I said that. I didn't like that. Nah, you're good. Yeah, I didn't like that. How old were you in 92? Negative what? 10. Or 9. You were born in 92? Negative what? 10. Or 9.

You were born in 2002? 2001. Fuck. And where were you then? 2009. Working at the airport then. So what month? April, right?

2001? I was kind of in school, kind of not, and I was working at the Golden Triangle Airport. Yeah, I was slinging bags. So you were working at an airport when? September 11th, yeah. Did you ever have to go in the actual plane to line the plane with the bags? That's what I did. So you would go underneath it?

I would drive the cart to the plane. There would be two of us. Drive the cart to the plane. You pull the ramp up there, and then I would run up the ramp, get in the, and I would just put the bags in. What airline was it? It was the Delta Connection. It was a small southeast airline.

CRJ 900. You ever see anything crazy? I did have a CRJ. Huh? You ever see anything crazy, like you hear a bag with an animal in it? No, I don't think I ever saw anything like that. Cocaine or anything? Yeah.

Saw some cocaine? You're not supposed to fly with your dogs because if you put them down below when the plane when the pressure changes the first thing they cut off is all of the like air down there. So the dogs just die.

Yeah but no they fly in there. Yeah but if the if the pressure changes and they need to like cut the oxygen off down there that's the first thing they would go.

Oh shit. Oh no I'm not doing that. How often does that happen? Probably not a lot at all. But still. I don't like this new How often does that happen? Probably not a lot at all. But still. I don't like this new era where people just fly with their dogs. I think the far bigger epidemic is people using wheelchairs who are just like springing up out of them when they don't need them anymore.

Yeah. Just getting pushed all around the fucking airport. Fat people and like people who are a little bit old but not that old. And the guys driving the carts with the people sitting on them in the airport love to honk. Oh, yeah. They love to honk. I literally talked shit to a dude who honked at me when I got back from Toronto the other day. I was in a bad mood and he honked in my face.

I was like, what the fuck are you honking at? And he was honking at me, but I was furious. Were you in his way? Maybe. No. He angled at me and then honked as I was damn near up against the wall. He chose the fight. I was in such a bad mood at the time.

I had to pinch you. He honestly tried to kill me. Kyle got ran off the road by one, and then the guy behind Kyle was just like, I hope you talk about this on the yak. Kyle got pushed into where the garbage cans are. It's crazy. There's always two people on it. There's always into where the garbage cans are. It's crazy. There's always two people on it. There's always another guy being like,

yeah, Moe, hang on. Yeah, yeah. He's a copilot. He's a Chewbacca. Those people are next level assholes. Like all the airport TSA people. It's crazy how much they suck. Oh, well, look at here.

Rode. Game of pitch. I did not see that coming. I did not see that coming. Wow. You spent $100 on that? $150. How much,

Kyle? That's awesome. $99.99 plus tax. I want beyond for use. Wow. Thank you, bro. That's right. We got99.99 plus tax I want beyond for use Wow Thank you bro That's right We got a yak plant dude

Well done Where are you gonna put that? My time was skewed I went down 29th Everything is wholesale Right I didn't know what that meant That's right

Tried to buy an African Chic Wholesale Yeah you can't even go in Those wholesale stores Like you'll go in and they're like no we don't sell to you yeah you need a wholesale license to buy from them it's like what i just want one of the thing that's back there right it's all jewelry and shirts and is it a bunch of stores or what i did i tried three straight wholesales without knowing what

that meant so you have to come back over to 28th? Yes. You still did that really quick then, all things considered. That's a pretty good time. Did you look at multiple items? No, I just bought the first cactus. They were very creeped out, the manner in which I bought that cactus in a rush. I need a cactus right now. I've never seen anything like that.

They were so confused. They wanted to wrap it up so bad. So you chose the cactus that happened to be 99 or they had multiple tier cactus? They had the price tags. For those who don't know,

our office is on the corner of the New York City plant district. Yeah. And it's been there since like the 1800s and it's smaller now but the whole block is

literally it's all beautiful plants. All year round. It's very good. I got this at a smoke shop. What? Yeah, I didn't even hit that plant. Wait, really?

What the fuck? Yeah, they had it in the back. I don't even know if they were selling it, but he gave me a, he told me I could buy it. It was amongst the illegals. Right. How do you care for a cactus? I want this thing to grow and flourish. They should have told you.

They tried to tell you. They tried to tell me. They wanted to talk to me so bad I sprinted out. There's TikTok accounts where you can take a picture of your plant and they'll tell you what it needs and how often to take care of it. Or we could also chop it up and make napales which are like tacos

featuring cactus. Unless this is a peyote cactus. Is that a saguaro? Might be a saguaro. I don't think that's a saguaro. It's small a peyote cactus. Is that a saguaro? Might be a saguaro. I don't think that's a saguaro. It's small. It's still small. Settle a bet. Is that a saguaro?

I don't know. I'd assume they need a lot of sunlight though, right? They don't need water, right? Not really, I guess. I have a cactus on my desk that's wilted, but it keeps on growing, which sucks. It's not what you want out of a cactus on my desk that's wilted, but it keeps on growing, which sucks. It's not what you want out of a cactus.

I have one of those little old man cactuses with the white fuzz on top. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And I had it since high school, and it's the only thing. I've moved like every year of my life since I was 18, and it's the only thing that's been consistent. And after I had my son, Pat like knocked it over and chopped the top off of it by accident. And I was, like... Cried? I was so emotional.

I was like, this is the only thing I've always had. Yeah. So anyway, I love a good cactus. Like, see how the formation, like, the tip is a little bit... Yeah, that's what it looks like. Yeah, this is me and Nick. Guess it is. Simone and Pumbaa.

Yeah, that's really cool. Which one are you? The petite one. Bussy. Nick's got more folds than you. For sure, for sure. One more fold. You have four.

I really like that. I kind of want to water it. Feel the soil. Is it damp? It looks like very dry soil. Yeah, dry. Dry. You don't want to overwater it.

Maybe we could have somebody who's an expert chime in. Yeah, if there's any cactus experts in the... Cricket. I hope we could add that to the wheel. I thought that was going to be a loose prick but it was, no it's not what was the mildest word you guys said growing up that you got in trouble by your parents for

stupid suck shut up I couldn't say shut up F word you said saying just F word I didn't know what it was and I told my mom I wish you were the F word and that's when I got in trouble

I wish you were fuck yeah I know it was bad I learned shut up from a episode of Roseanne and I regurgitated it and I got in big trouble big trouble. Big trouble.

Aaron said what? No books or more books? More books. Then it was like in seventh grade, and there was a fuck club at school. You had to say fuck to get in. It was led by Logan Seidler and Joseph Neidert. And I was the only boy in the class that wasn't in it. And I would have nightmares at night of like, like just like getting forced,

me being forced to say fuck. And I would wake up screaming. It was like multiple, multiple night terrors. And I can, I would always go into my parents' room to like sleep. Cause I had another fuck dream. And my mom was so tired of it. My mom was so tired of it one day that it was like four in the morning.

She was like, just say fuck. And I refused. I refused. And like an hour passed and I said it. And I never had one of the nightmares again. And I joined the club the next day. Hell yeah. It's an underdog story.

I think that should be in your stand-up act. I might have to call my mom. I think that should be part of your act, brother. The fuck? I have had another fuck dream? I had another fuck dream. Yeah, go on. I don't know.

This just hit me. Yeah, Logan, Siler, and Jozo. Neidhart was the one to appease. Oh, yeah. He was the most intimidating dude in the world. He had a black girlfriend before I met him. Yeah. I remember when he made out with her at the OLP dance.

Yeah, he did make out with her. Yeah, that was news. Damn, Ma. Oh, Mom. I wish you were fucked. I remember that clearly because my boy Shelton, he brought up the F word, so I just said, yeah, I wish you were the F word. When I was in fifth grade, I would take the bus to school,

and everyone would say words that I'd never heard nor knew what they meant. And I remember I was in the grocery store with my mom, and I went up and I said, what is a pussy? Yeah. I had a – because I heard people – She bought you a mirror. I thought I was confident pussy meant, like, bitch, wimp. Yeah.

And John Michael Bruner said something about a girl shaving her pussy, and I was like, what is that? What is that now? What the fuck? And that was baseball practice and I was like,

holy, I'm not even close to knowing what this is. The worst part was my mom told me, my mom just told me what like a vagina was like in the grocery store

rather than being like, oh, it's an insult. She was like, it's a vagina. Did you know what vagina was? Probably not. I just remember it being like a really awkward conversation. Always is.

Yeah. This is way TMI. I already forgot. But my mom, as a kid, she taught me like anatomically correct everything. And so I guess I was at the playground with my grandpa. And I guess kids should just be itching and scratching and whatever. And he was like, never mind. I'm not going to tell this story.

Oh, tell it. Tell us or your grandpa is creepy. I know. Sounds hilarious. Apparently. And he was a very buttoned up guy. He wasn't whatever. And he was like, what are you doing?

And I said, for everybody, I was like, I'm scratching my labia. Like, really? That's so funny. I know. You almost didn't tell that story. How old were you? I was like, my mom, like, right off the bat was like, here's all the, they say that's what you're supposed to do.

Were you four? I was little. I was little. I was like four. Like, yeah, I was a little kid. And he was just apparently apparently he was like so taken aback he was like what have you guys ever seen that Curb episode

where Larry David's talking to like one of his friends this like lady and she's like with her daughter and she's like alright well we gotta get out of here she's like I'm bringing blah blah blah to the doctor she's got a rash on her pussy yeah and her daughter's like 10 and then it's the way

it's the seinfeld reunion season and he's talking uh he's sitting in a room with jerry seinfeld and that lady comes in he's like oh by the way how is uh your daughter's pussy i remember being like uh i was probably like six years old i have a sister who's like 18 months older and she's named Stephanie. Her best friend's named Stephanie. And we were like driving over to get to her friend's house. You had to go over this really steep hill. And I remember them just being like, ooh, I can feel it in my stomach.

And I was like, I can feel it in my penis. This is funny. You can. Don't you feel it in your penis? It's like adrenaline in your balls but like i felt it i was like i could feel it in my penis like burst out laughing what you guys don't feel it in your penises yeah i learned what a stiffy was in sixth grade from brandon wilson at a sleepover at shilling road hawkers and i uh i was just like oh that's what it's like a stiff stiffy. I thought that was like a bad word. And then I felt guilty that I knew it, so I had to go like break it to my parents afterwards.

And I was like, I went up to them and I was like, mom, dad, I know what a Sharpie is. And they're just like, what? Okay. You said it wrong. Yeah. That's the worst, dude. Like telling your parents things out of like guilt. Yeah.

And they're just like, what the fuck? You could have kept that one, son. I'm horny. Mom, dad, you're going to need to hear this. I have a boner. I remember I asked my parents. I was like, never mind. I'm not going to get it

we know what the story is now that's so funny you know there's no shame in it no just being a child figuring out what the fuck's going on has that ever happened to you have your kids ever done anything like that not really not yet

you're right at that age. It's tough. I think we had a different because we didn't have the internet so we had to learn everything from just word of mouth. The school bus really was. It was always like an older kid's brother told him a bunch of shit and then he would go on the bus and tell everybody.

Remember late at night on Y100 or something like that, there was the sex show. It was after 10.30pm and I had my AM FM radio that after my parents go to bed, I'd turn it on really low. I remember the night I found out that you could put a fist in a butt. I remember.

I was like... I don't think I knew that until I was like... I found that out now. I was like... I still don't believe it. I remember it. My first thought was like, nobody on the bus is going to believe me tomorrow when I tell them this information.

Your grandpa's like, what are you doing? But people would listen to that show at night. And then on the bus, everyone would congregate and share what they had heard. That's hilarious. Yeah. That was the hot ticket show. Fucking Y100. Yeah.

Imagine kids now they have like they can watch those joe biden ai videos and have endless material oh it's like pokey main videos yeah yeah you you must get exposed to that stuff way at a way younger age now because even when i was growing up it was like we didn't have like you didn't have like a portable device until i was in like middle school or high school but like now it's like my little sisters't have, like, a portable device until I was in, like, middle school or high school. But, like, now it's, like, my little sisters have had, like, iPTouches or iPhones since they were, like, young as fuck. And on YouTube, like, I'll put on, like, Miss Rachel YouTube show for them. And then I'll go to, like, do something in the kitchen really quick.

And then, like, the next video pops up. And I'm, like, or some of the ads are weird as hell. I'm, like, what the fuck is this? So, good times. Good times. Good times. What was yours, TJ? What was the word you got in trouble for?

Stupid? I said this sucks and my dad sent me to sleep. Sent you to sleep. Close your eyes right now. You got to go to bed right now. We'll not have that shit in this house. Did you do it? Did you fall right asleep?

Oh, yeah. I was very obedient. I was so obedient. I'm basically just a pussy. Same. I would get in trouble so much. You did? Yeah, I would always get in so...

I remember I used to get in so much trouble. For what? I don't know. I would just get grounded, like, constantly. I was involved in some whole thing. I was in, like, sixth grade. And it was, like, when, like... Look at this.

Awesome. I can use the word involved. Use the word involved. It was kind of a big deal. I was, like, some Alabama basketball. I got my phone taken away for, like, two years. Like, no connection to the outside world uh it was like uh is it in school no it was like at i don't know you guys know what ask fm was yeah it was like an anonymous

question yeah and like something happened with like i was like at a sleepover with my friends and we were like doing like an ask.FM on some like girls page. And like they somehow it somehow got linked back to me. But the parents didn't like understand it. So they thought that every single question on like the board was all me. I asked like 700 questions. I think it was it was probably something stupid. I mean it wasn't anything like crazy but I got in like a ton of trouble.

You're a flirt. Someone's like dad called my dad when he was like at work. And he like came home and he was like furious. Oh, God. Yeah, that was a bad one. Knowing that you're in trouble and then like waiting for your parents to get home. You're trying to act like you didn't do anything. Worst.

I remember I was outside like shooting pucks. My dad came home and he was so mad. That was probably the most trouble I ever had gotten in. Do you think it's worth it to make your kids

not say swear words? I mean, we've seen video of Tommy saying if that ass fat KB going Harry V says that. I'm a lot more liberal

with it than my wife is. My wife hates it and will not allow it, will not stand for it. I don't, it doesn't bother me at all. I don't know. If a little kid's cussing,

I'm just like, bad parents. I don't curse. That's what it is. It's parents. I mean, I don't know. Eight year old is cussing

at you. That's the parents. Tommy just said, are you fucking kidding me? He was playing the game. It's pretty funny. Yeah. It's like,

something happened to that game that really got him. Yeah just said, are you fucking kidding me? He was playing the game. It's pretty funny. Yeah. I was like, something happened to that game that really got him. Yeah. I wonder what it was. Probably justified. I don't think my parents had ever,

I don't think, my dad came to one of my shows in Boston and I think that was the first time he'd ever heard me curse. No way. Yeah.

What did he say? He didn't care. He stopped the show and told you to go sleep. Yeah. I also did a whole... I have a whole joke about him being gay. About your dad being gay? Yeah, he's not.

But it's like he did something. No, no, no. Not like that. Not like that. The punchline is like... It's like something about my dad being gay. And then I remember I was like super nervous to do that joke. Like on stage.

I was like sweating my ass off doing it. And then I had to be like my dad's here. And I was like, he's not gay. He's looking around. Dad just sipping a daiquiri? No, my dad doesn't drink. Bro.

Oh, he is gay then. It had to do with me getting caught smoking weed i don't know whatever i have to tell the joke i think i've heard it y'all keep going it's not really one of it's one of my not better jokes where are you reminiscing about like your first stand-up set after uh last friday was like making me laugh so hard you're like i had the worst jokes about the vaccine making your balls big oh yeah laughing so hard that was when I was like my first set I was so bad and then I posted the whole thing on YouTube and now it's like I like everyone's like oh you got to start but you should post clips but it's like dude like I'll have a joke and then it's like the next week the joke is 10 times better

so it's like you're kind of like cutting yourself short yeah yeah but also uh you got like an agent based off that youtube yeah that is true it is true it was worthwhile and they were like don't post anything else controlling very controlling of them no no they're good guys let's give her just call your agent just Just chew them out. Never do it right now. No way.

Probably why they love you as a client. It would be so confused. The fuck is going on? You know what I'm doing tonight? Nothing. Why don't I have bored? I should never be bored. Oh, my time isn't valuable.

Other people said it is. There's definitely people that do that. Yeah, and I think you're entitled to. I think that's what you're paying for is being able to be really mean to somebody and you just don't use it. Yeah. Pretty much. What's your agent's name? Mike.

Good guy. Good agent name. What do they do? Does the agent like book your shows for you and okay well that's nice to not have to yeah let's say it's pretty much the only thing they do so do you even like you just get a schedule of like all right you're going here this week and you don't do you say have a yes or no or yeah yeah i have to confirm everything okay but they have a pretty good idea of like to go. Somewhere you've said no to.

I've never said no to anywhere I've put things off. I've been like, oh, I think I'm busy that weekend. Oh, okay. Like this weekend, I'm going to Albany. That's been put off many times. Right. Albany will be great. It'll be fine. I'm only doing one show there.

There's some fun bars there So I'm going to Albany And then I'm going to Poughkeepsie The next day Damn So are tickets not selling that good? Or Is everything okay? They're selling okay

Are these the Francis shows? No no that's We're doing San Francisco Which is gonna be awesome Yeah Oh this comedy club It's a big room 400 people

Oh shit Yeah Shoot Four shows. Holy fuck. They're going to be laughing. That is not until April. That's cool. Next month.

It's been planned for a while. You guys get paid today? Today? It's today. Oh, yeah. I did nice bro how much

yeah well I got cactus money now right but I see the homeless people still haven't gotten their cut yeah I gotta do that yeah

that actually sucks so bad but you gotta film it yeah film it Yeah Film it That's terrible I I don't know

Would absolve you of that If you want to be absolved Just give it to me I'll do it Alright I got an updated list of Shit on the wheel That we haven't done yet

Oh god No we're good We don't need There's a lot There can't be that much What if we do like a marathon day where we try and knock it out as much as yeah the 12-hour stream i've got i've uh talked to some people for the 12-hour stream got the tattoo artist got the doodle class is that ever gonna happen yeah i think so we're supposed to do it for our 500th youtube episode which would be in late March. Oh. When are you guys going to Chicago?

I don't know. I guess I got the timing wrong, and my lease ends the last day in July. So I guess I have to have a home or something by August. I have a kid. So I guess I'll be there by then, but then if the acts still go in here. I think you've got to get a houseboat or some shit like that

so you can go from one place to the other. I really enjoy that. Io and I are gone the entire month of June. No, you're not. You just got out of a meeting. Oh, what are you doing? I can't really say yet. Holy shit. It's pretty big, though, right?

That sounds like a yes. Yeah, it'll be cool. What is it? Can you give a clue? What is it? Donnie. Oh, nice. Oh, Ron.

No, no. Yeah, it's Ron's thing. Well, yeah, it is. And I'm about to go. I'm about to go. I know. I can't fucking wait. You're going on it during the 12-hour stream.

Yeah. See if I'll go and I know. I can't fucking wait. You're going on it during the 12-hour stream. Yeah. See how it goes, and I'll be back. Just check everything off. Fucking cross the... 12-hour stream, that's definitely going to happen. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely.

Cross the T's. Damn, the whole month of June? Yeah, pretty much. So you're going to need to get some kind of, like, maybe just some jokes written for this show that you can kind of drop off at the beginning of June that we can kind of just put in your stead. I have to get rid of all like uh maybe just some jokes written for this show that you can kind of drop off at the beginning of june that we can kind of just get rid of all my jokes before we move you better empty the clip yeah start getting rid of them now

imagine if erica catches you making fucking jokes out in chicago how much shit you'll be in not gonna happen i've already had meetings it's not happen. I know I've been binging sports and gambling stuff. Yeah, you do. Switch happens. Lock the fuck in. Take the under on jokes that I'll make there.

Boys. What does that mean? You wouldn't know. I saw a comment the other day that was like, they're like, can't wait for the Chicago move so I won't have to listen

to all the other bullshit. And it's like, first of all, you don't have to listen to anything it's the craziest thing it's always been this way it's in their curriculum they have it's like dude you're in complete control and also this only changes our lives this doesn't change anyone else's life it's not like all of a sudden

there's going to be a separate account for barst for like two different groups right it's all going to be on the same feed still yeah following in for you man yeah yeah new york and chicago oh when are you guys going like am i the early bird it's august i'll be gone i don't i don't i don't i have no idea i have no idea i just know i had to pick a date with my lease and i was like we're turning this room into an aquarium like a full water head to ceiling aquarium on august 1st so i just want to make sure that everything everybody's out of here by then i'll go down with the ship putting a fucking shark in here they've been asking me a lot of questions that I don't want to be.

Have any say in. Like, what should we do with the office? What color wall should we have? No, I don't want to have any say in that. I don't want to be the dude that's like, oh, well, let me tell you what we should do with the yak. Zass said really big chairs. Yeah. Really tall chairs.

Tomically huge. Upside down room. What was that show on Nickelodeon where it was the recliner that you could control it and go all around? It had like a little fridge next to it. I remember that. Yeah. Don't know the name. Don't know.

Very fancy, mobile, lazy boys. I don't know. Nice. You should know. Everywhere I go. Should we end the yak? Or do you guys want to keep going? I think we're good.

Yeah, I think we're... Keep on yakking. Have we fulfilled all our obligations, TJ? Yep. Cool. Oh, it's a Sereris jamakeru. Oh, so this might flower? This might blossom? Ooh.

Is that a tumor? Wow. No, wait, it's fruit! What, the flower grows? Flowers are white. Blossom and 250 millimeters or 10 inches. Wow. A very strong violet color.

The pulp is white with tiny black seeds. It is considered very tasty. I mean. Hey. Here we go. Sustenance. All right. Well, remember that if you're ever stuck in the desert.

Either that or dig for some peaches. See you tomorrow. All right. It's the act That's time to stock shop To do a Yankee pop It's the act It's the act