The Yak - Sam Tallent Joins as Magic Week Comes to a Close | The Yak 1-5-24

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. Hello. It's the Yak. Roback.com. Promo code YAK. 20% off your first purchase. Kyle, by word.

You look good. He's wearing the lady ball shirt. Oh, that's tough. I didn't want to wear this with pants, but Jesus. Yeah, this is going to be a battle, Kyle. I saw the crease where leg becomes ass i don't know what to do by the way that oh shit wait yeah what are you gonna do dude wait go to roback.com how did i do this last summer 20 off what are those shorts why are you wearing shorts yeah wait a second why did you say you didn't want to wear that with pants i've been

all confused i didn't like the way this piece looked with pants. Grew off the pants. This is a summer shirt. You're supposed to wear it with a skirt. That's by the way Sam Tallany's here today. Very, very funny stand-up comedian. He's got a new special out. Friend of the show. He's going to join us today for the

finale of Magic Week. I love magic. Why shorts, Kyle? It's January, Kyle. Also, wait, did you match your shoes? What is happening, man? You matched your shoes. Thanks for noticing.

I wore pants here. I mean, it looks good. I shed the pants. Get the pants off. Wait. Is this the fit? Like, you said you had some pieces you wanted to show off. No, I've had this.

Thanks to Nick. He got it to me. Thought it it was a nice piece do you have your phone now acting as like a paperweight right i saw a comment that said i all i can see when i look at you is your micro meat which is a paradox but yeah meat yeah yeah it's not that micro if that's all you can see yeah right yeah right that's true i don't want that to be the focus. It's bad when you can see just the porthole, the urethra. Yeah. You can literally see the hole in the penis. I've had that. Yeah, when it's like-

You know exactly the length. Yeah, you don't even, it's a pinhole and nothing else. Yeah. I'd rather just be a general bulge than- That or when your balls get scrunched up and it looks like a pussy. That's right. That's happening. That's a fun summer yeah that's a that's a tough one that's when you have golf balls in your in your in your pants and uh people think that you have an enormous cock and you're like dude

you actually think my cock goes like all the way to my knee yeah also have you ever seen a cock yeah right what a cock looks like it doesn't start in your pocket right yeah that's the issue with the zin tin is now it just looks like your chode bearing Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, or it looks like an insulin pump when I have it in my pocket Yeah, it's the bag what is that the colostomy bag yeah Man, you're just walking around pooping in your pocket. I have micro bag. I had an uncle with a colostomy bag Yeah, but he was a hit at picnics. Yeah. I had an uncle with a colostomy bag. Yeah, but he was a hit at picnics.

Yeah, yeah. It's gross, right? It's disgusting. Wait, what? Is it like just fluids? It's just everything's draining out into that instead of... Everything? But like, does that render the asshole moot? Yes.

It's obsolete. Does it heal over? Steve Jobs invented the colostomy bag. Yeah. That kind of rules? Yeah, you don't need that anymore. It streamlines it. You got to buy a dongle.

It shuts, that doesn't work with the anus? It typically, it has to do with like, you are no longer allowed, not allowed, there's no law against it, but you've lost control

of your sphincter or something. So they just put like a port directly into your lower intestine and then it drains the- That kind of- I always thought it went to your asshole. What's that?

No, it's your stomach. I always thought it went to your asshole. Me too. But then, it's your stomach. I always thought it went to your asshole. Me too. But then that would just be an asshole extension. Yeah. Well, yeah. But that's what... That would just be fun.

You thought the colostomy bag was plugged into your asshole? I did. I did. It was a tube. Yeah, but you thought it was a tube that goes... What would be the difference? You thought you... But for the PN one, they just plug it through the penis.

Catheter, yeah. Yeah, they plug that through the penis. PN one. And they put a bag right here and then... I've had a fight. Well, the PN one, they just plug it through the penis. Catheter, yeah. Yeah, they plug that through the penis. PN1. And they put a bag right here, and then I've had a fight. For the PN1, they just plug it into the penis. Yeah, they plug that in the penis. I thought the other bag plugged in the asshole. It doesn't.

No, no. This is a major failure in the school system. Wait, that, I kind of want one, though. A colostomy bag? You don't have to do both? Can you do the urine and the shit? Like, have one leg shit bag? You should never have to go to the bathroom?

Never. You would be so efficient. You're going to become like a transformer. The catheter bag is terrible. I want a bagless port. You guys are not paying. What do you mean? I want the port that stops the flow of the shit.

You want a Bluetooth? Without a bag. Bluetooth. You just reinvented the asshole. You're talking like you want it to be like a bong, and when you cover up the hole. Yeah, and then you go over to like a trash bag, and you just kind of dump.

You dump the gray water, like an RV. That's right, like Dave Matthews' bus. Yes, yes. Go stand over a river, yeah. What a great way to start. This seems like science is missing out on it's caught up to your needs actually yeah we need to can we pull up a photo of what a colostrum I don't okay just the bag just the bag can you get an infographic could I walk in and be like hey I don't need this but

I want it a recreational yeah I want my life to be simpler. That might be next up in cosmetics. Yeah, it's going to be a Birkin bag. Yeah, it's going to be nice. Okay. Oh, wait. Where's the bag? The bag is on the outside. It's bad when they make the graphic for a five-year-old and we still can't understand it.

The stoma is the port? The stoma is just an opening in the skin, basically. Yeah, stoma's a hole. That's what smokers get on their neck. I didn't realize the colon was big as fuck. Oh, so it sucks out of your skin? It's on the outside of your body, yeah. This is not telling me anything.

I'm more confused. Allegedly, there's professional sex workers who have stomas, and they're a big hit. Oh, that's fucked. Yeah. What do you mean they're big? I guess a hole's a hole. I think you'd fuck the hole. You can fuck the stoma? Yeah.

Contextually, that was one of the easier things to figure out what they do with the hole. I'll be honest, I didn't know what a stoma was. What would a sex worker need with a hole? What am I doing? I got an extra hole. How am I going to use this? I'm a sex worker. I'm ruined now as a sex worker with this extra hole of mine. Hold on,

miss. I've got an idea. So that would be literal throat fucking. Yes. You could throat fuck. Yeah. Oh, shit. Or you can go side doors. Mook just got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm following now. They charge you extra for that shit. I think that they're a delicacy. Yeah. Yeah. In Asia. In life's buffet?

Yeah. They're the caviar. Yeah. Yeah, we have a dry age stoma this is gross 75 day dry age stoma in the back yeah did i miss the coolest magician in the world yesterday yeah he was pretty awesome damn i'm not gonna lie he was his card tricks ruled he was very cool. And he put a fucking coin under here.

He made a coin transfer. That seems pretty cool. I thought you just did it. That would be one of the easier things. He was a 10 out of 10 magician, but then he was also just like so fucking cool. Cool dude. Tidy said he reminded you of me. Yeah, yeah.

That's as cool as it gets. You know, he was sitting over there you're going deep on it now bro he had two coins and he and he like snapped his fingers he's like look under that couch and i picked it up and there was a coin under there wow i don't fucking understand how these guys do it i don't want to know either when you find out the magician's secrets it really ruins all the whimsy it's the same people it's the spoilers people online where they're like they'll watch a magician and they'll slow it down, be like, saw him do this. Like, why would you ruin it?

The amount of pussy magicians should get versus the amount they do get is a crazy different number. Well, they often make consent disappear. They sure do. True. They sure do. There are a lot of rapists in the magician community. Yes.

Was in, I don't know, he was mentioned, right? Copperfield in the epstein was he yes but i don't know he kind of he kind of looked like he was in on the good side the good side of there to entertain he was checking ids no he was doing magic and then the story is like copperfield told one of the women like hey do you know that like this guy's a creep but then also why would he be doing magic for him she was like read the room stupid yeah you're telling me this creep that owns child island yeah uh that list was kind of a bust i was just bill clinton yeah and then i like this new theory that they i guess

the clintons are on holiday in mexico right now but they might never come back oh yeah yeah i can't stay down there i can't keep up with there's so many like people are are on holiday in Mexico right now, but they might never come back. Yeah. I can't stay down there. I can't keep up with... There's so many... People are like, that's not the right list. Right, there's fake lists.

I don't fucking know. Stephen Hawking. That one's funny. That's cool. That one's funny. When you need an assistant to a pedophile, that's exciting. Yeah.

Have someone be like, I'll help you engage in this ultimate evil. I'll get you out of your chair. And get you hard. Get him there, yeah. Wait, so Stephen, where is Mincy and our magician? Stephen just left the room.

Okay. Mincy's also going to do a magic trick for us today. He's got it down. You nervous about that at all or what what's the worst i mean live mics um and then he's we're just we're now entering him in a world of magic i i don't know what he could do we're we are gaining we've made a big step yeah so mince has made a big step for context yeah with a player who committed to west virginia

oh yes we talk about this yes just an unbelievable name to still oh yeah oh man i had a google alert no run around pronunciation of that one so he actually is a uh he reached out to pft because he's a PMT fan, and he was like, PFT got the actual pronunciation. I don't know if I should try. We looked up the YouTube video of his dad introducing himself. It's just ka and then the word. It's ka-ni.

It's almost worse. It's ka-ni and then. Sure ain't. That's not how his old man says it. Yeah, there it is. But then you name your kid Noah. Sure ain't. That's not how his old man says it. There it is. But then you name your kid Noah. It's like Steve Kerr.

Kerr named his son Nick. He actually just recently was like, it's Nicholas. I went to WVU. This won't be the first time fans have called a player that name. That white had a tough time. Yeah. You know what, TJ? Fuck it.

Put it back on there. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say the name. What does an announcer do? I don't know. This is an announcer. Where's Jake Marsh? Yeah. It's quandary.

Remember there was a guy on Navy. What was his name? Fejo. Fejo. Fejo. Yeah. It was F-A-G-O-T What was his name? Fejo. Fejo, yeah. It was F-A-G-O-T. Fejo. I tried to get the jersey. Of course you did.

But so, Sam, for context, Mincy, who was getting the magician to do the tricks for him. Yeah, that simple man out there. Yeah, the simple man. He has a live wake-up show that has been canceled not once but twice. Yeah. I walked in. He had a toad in his mouth. Yeah.

I don't want to swallow my friend. One time he said he was singing Bone Thugs-N-Harmony lyrics live on. It was the first of the month. Uh-huh. So that was the first cancellation. The second is he spoiled Surviving Barstool for everyone. Oh, yeah. So he's been.

I think he's had two seasons, 12 total episodes. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, you got to keep that guy away from the rabbits. Yeah, he's something. He's an active simpleton, but he's very nice. So, hello. What's your name?

I just met him. Am I on camera? Yeah. Oh, my name's Ed. What's your name? Ed. Dan. Kyle.

Good to meet you. Brandon. Where are you going to do your first trick? Out there. Awesome. Yeah. And what's your socials? We'll put Kyle. Brandon. Where are you going to do your first trick? Out there. Awesome. Yeah. And what's your socials? We'll put it up on the... At Wizard of Swords. Oh, I like that. Yeah, pretty much on everything. I'm not active on

all social medias, but I parked out usernames. So don't try and take it. At Wizard of Swords. He was kicked off of Twitter for being too controversial. Yeah. No, I was kicked off of Twitter for not being active. There's probably... You think there's anyone who's like at Wizard

of Swords 2? Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, he's like at Wizard of Swords 2, the reckoning. It's even worse now. Alright, so you're gonna go give us some magic. Yeah. I love it. Whenever. I mean, I don't know. Am I in charge of this

thing? Yeah. It's your show. Oh, you're a guinea pig. Oh. Just join me here. Yeah, I'm chosen because my brain sells. Your brain sucks? Your brain sells.

Weird that he pluralized sells. So, introduce yourself please nice to meet you you're ed i'm ed yeah ben yeah i thought they said dan boy i got everybody thinks i say dan when i say ben where are you not a chance ain't no chance to know louisiana that's why that's yeah i understand it well they say dan well, we just hear Dan. So this is like Christmas, new deck of cards, like Christmas for all magicians. Besides, before this week, have you ever assisted a magician before this week? Absolutely not. Excellent, excellent.

What if he was like, yes? Many times. The advertising cards. And, well, we're going to start out nice and easy. We're going to do a pick a card trick, but I'm going to pick a card for you because you said because of your brain cell numbers was it brain cell yes because multiple multiple excellent i'm looking for one thing the joker because we need our jokers so i'm going to pick a card for you and i'm going to pick a card for me the card i'm going to pick for you is going to be the ace

of hearts i'm picking the ace of hearts because it was on top. Made it kind of easy. Do me a favor there. People are saying I'm the heartbreak kid. They are saying that. It means he's getting comfortable. But that's okay. Dan, Ben, Ben, Dan, Dan, Ben. Put your hand right there on top of that. Nicely done. And for myself, I'm going to pick a card.

I'm going to pick the Joker. I like the Joker because I like to think I'm kind of funny. Also, he's a snappy dresser, an environmentalist, and he has money. I mean, he's just a dream. I never really thought of the Joker as an environmentalist. One, two, three. Did you feel that? I felt it.

Good, because I got yours. What? Yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. There it is. Yeah, yeah. There it is. Show them, too.

Hey, that's what you get to do. Hey, that's what you get to do. All right. Now, sometimes when I do that, people say, well, Ed, how did you do that? And, of course, when you ask a magician

how did you do that, the magician has to say, I can't tell you, or if I told you, I'd have to kill you or something like that. But if you've noticed anything about all the magicians you've had this week, they all look exactly like this short white guys with glasses. So I'm going to try and teach anybody I can anything about magic. So what I've done is I've got Ben here under a deep hypnotic trance. I know you don't believe me, but I can prove it. Ben, please, select a card. We asked him to select a card, what did he do, gents? He hasn't yet.

He selected a card, that's right. He didn't notice this was working. Yeah, you gotta do the easy stuff. Yeah, please look at it, remember it, show it to the camera. Now you did pick a very specific card because you picked the only card in this deck that looks like yours,

because this is the only card in this deck with any writing on it, which is very nice. Whoa! nice of you to do but i did make you do that see i do keep one card in the deck just for ben dan dan ben to pick uh yes dan dan ben uh that 10 of spades that's what those are called by the way the spades if you don't know that you should play cards against those people because you can cheat now when i need to know where that card is i marked the back of the card you've heard of mark cards right oh yeah. Yeah. They're used for cheating and gambling. Now, subtle little differences in the back design allow me to know which card is which. Once I know which card I need you to pick, I just make you pick it. Now, most people wouldn't pick a card

that says pick me on the back with three exclamation points, but obviously you're under deep, deep hypnosis. Now, I can't keep you under deep hypnosis for long because it's not good for your young and growing mind. Yes, I said what I said. You said growing. Yeah, exactly. Growing. Yeah, just parts of it.

It's young. Excellent. Here we go. We're just going to erase. Erase, erase, erase, erase, erase. Not that side. It erases that side. And since you're free from the hypnosis, it brings these.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da these. All right back. Let's get a big round of applause for our friend Ben Dan. Dan Ben. What do they call you? Mitzi? Is that what I heard? Mitzi, yeah. Hypnotizing Mitzi is not big of a task. You can do that with a set of keys. You shake them. What do you guys think? You like it? I like it a lot.

I like most of it. You want to see another one from out here? Yeah. All right. The more the mer Yeah. I like it a lot. I like most of it. You want to see another one from out here? Yeah. All right. The more the merrier. I can't get married any more times. I've already married twice. That's the limit.

Yeah. Unless, of course, you move to Utah. Then it's fine. I'm sorry. It's all right. It's all right. That's right. Now, earlier I made you pick a card, and I cheated terribly.

I told you that. So I'm going to do it again, but see if you notice this time. And you guys, watch. You might notice when I make him pick the card and I cheated terribly I told you that so I'm gonna do it again but see if you notice this time and you guys watch you you might notice when I make him pick the card okay so when the magician is gonna make you pick a card you're gonna say what pick a card okay no any call there it is there is any car so you're just gonna pick any card at all their mitts just any card at all just any normal regular card just pick any card actually all. Just any normal, regular card. Just pick any card. Excellent. Yeah, go for the swimmy one. It's like New Orleans. Yeah, yeah. Just take it.

I thought you said any card. All right. It's a cheap joke. It's a dad joke. You do dad jokes? Sure. I don't think I have any kids. You don't think you have any kids?

Excellent. I'll go like this. You just say stop, whatever you'd like. Stop. Excellent. Nicely done. Go ahead, take the card you stopped on. Go ahead, look at the ten of diamonds.

Excellent. Yeah, show them the ten of diamonds. Excellent. Nicely done. Now, this is what I want you to do with that. Oh, you're right. I go, I look at the Ten of Diamonds. Excellent. Yeah, show them the Ten of Diamonds. Excellent. Nicely done. Now, this is what I want you to do with that. Oh, you write it. Do me a favor, please. Sign your name as large as you can right across there.

He knows how to write his name, right? Yeah, he's done this three times now. Excellent. Excellent. That looks, thank you, doctor. Yeah, I mean, it's got the signature of a surgeon, a tree surgeon. But that's all right. I'm not here for my handwriting.

All right. So we're going to take that card, that 10 of diamonds, and we're going to find a spot for you about halfway down. Watch. You got one, two. What does that mean? I don't know. I'm not here for my handwriting. Three.

Did you see that? Are any of us? Oh, what happens is your card, that 10 of diamonds, jumps all the way up to the top and turns into a joker. No, they won't believe that. Try that again. Let's see. That 10 of diamonds jumps all the way to the top top and turns into a joker no they won't believe that try that again let's see that kind of diamonds jumps all the way to the top did you see it jump to the top yes here take the top card show them don't show me i've seen this trick before here one more time we're going to take this dan ben ben dan the dan ben card the mincy card okay we're going to find a spot for mints in the deck about halfway down but i'm going to pick a card

for myself because i never get to pick a card everybody else gets to pick a card so i'm going to pick a card for myself we're going to use that ace from earlier and on there we're going to just write the yak and then we're going to write january and what is today the fifth right is that right 2024 so you've got the yak january 5th, yeah. 2024. So you've got the Yak, January 5th, 2024, written on the back of my Ace of Diamonds. We're going to place the Ace of Diamonds about a third of the way down. Now, Mintz, do you know any magic words? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

What's wrong with y'all? Y'all's minds are gutter. I don't know. The gutter? Yeah, I'm glad you said abracadabra. Why would you call that the gutter? I don't know. I don't know what The gutter? Yeah. I'm glad you said African. Why would you call that the gutter? I don't know. I don't know what you were thinking of.

I was just thinking. I just think y'all just have the wrong connotation. Yeah. He's a very pure and innocent man. Look at him. That's right. See, what happens, though, is those cards run through the deck until they find each other. And we've got the Yak January 5th, 2024 card right next to your signed card right next to each other.

But today, you're not next to each other. You're actually one, two, three, joining us right there on the act. January 5th, 2020. What the fuck? Holy shit, that was awesome. Pretty good. Shall we come in? Yes.

Get in here. I feel like you guys are so far away. That was a great trip. Oh, thank you so far away. That was a great trick. Oh, thank you. That was a great trick. Just something silly I do for a living. I'll be honest. Oh, that's yours.

You keep it. Yeah, you're Dan Ben. I'm Ed. How many of those cards do you have now, Ben? Three of diamonds, the four of diamonds, the ten of diamonds. Well, I'll tell you what. This is what I've noticed from you saying this, is that we magicians, we have people sign cards often

and the reason we have them do that is so he doesn't forget what card he picked yeah it's mostly just for him yeah yeah we it doesn't make any difference to us but uh so you're from louisiana i myself grew up in pennsylvania any of you guys ever been in pennsylvania oh yeah so you meet what school district what's that what school district united school district um yeah but now you're gonna now i gotta go change all my password clues. Thanks, man. What do you know about United School District? Is that north of Pittsburgh?

West. No, east. Excuse me. It's east. Directly east. No, west of Pittsburgh, Sharon, Ohio. Or Youngstown. Either one.

But I grew up in western Pennsylvania. Now, if you meet people out here in the Midwest from Michigan, they do this weird thing, right, where they hold up their hand and they point like it's a map right you ever see them Do you admit? Yeah? Yeah, so yeah, you got it, Pennsylvania right there Yeah, you got Pittsburgh there Philadelphia there and just cows and unemployment in that area Which is my favorite trial why I came to Chicago. Yeah, those are the cows in the unemployment But I grew up outside of a town of 97 people, not 9,700, not 97,000, 97 people. And we lived 17 miles from the nearest gas station, grocery store, doctor's office, any of those sorts of things.

We spent a lot of time in the backseat of my parents' car. And growing up in the early 80s, we had to make our own fun. We had to make our own games. So my brother, being the older brother, would often make up the rules of the game. He made up a game called How Long long can you stare at the sun? Which I won every year, still reigning champion. Thank you, thank you. He made up a game called, I'm thinking of a number.

He'd say, Ed, I'm thinking of a number. If you guess the number, I will give you a dollar. If you don't guess the number, I get to hit you. Aha, you've played this before. Yeah, it took me a long time to realize. If I didn't have him write down the number He just said no and then hit me And what is your name?

I am Dan And that's Ben Oh see this is what it is He keeps trying to be you Dan where'd you grow up? Outside of Boston I live in Chicago My family has a family from the north shore of Chicago as well.

Wow, that's a long story. Awesome. Okay, cool. Anyways, sorry. My bad. You have hours to fill. Do you have an older brother? I do not.

Excellent. Okay. I want you to think of a number. We're going to play this game. We're going to play the game. You're going to play my brother. We're going to play the game. You're going to think of a number.

Okay. Because we haven't set anything up, right? I just literally learned your name. I want you to think of a number between 50 and 100. Don't say anything out loud, but don't just say no. I got my number. Because you look stronger than I am. I got my number. I'm going to have you write down the number on the card. You can fold it up. You can even with the studio lights, hold it up. Make sure you cannot see through that card. Pardon me as I cross here. Everyone shot. There you go. Just write down the number on the back of the business card and then fold it up. Okay. And let me know when you're done because

otherwise we'll be here all afternoon. Okay. Good? Got it? Should I show it to the... One is good. One is good because this guy actually works for me here. That's right. Okay, okay, okay. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, he finally got a job. Awesome. What the hell?

What was your name again? I'm Nick. Nick, yeah, right. I just hired him. I don't know. And your name is? I'm Mark. Mark, you're going to be the guard of the card.

Excellent. So I'm going to try to come up with your number. Okay. When you were a kid, did you have a dog? I did for a while. Excellent. Bit everyone. What was the dog's name?

Gus. Gus, excellent. Now we have his passwords. Excellent. That was a bad dog. He was a bad dog. Yes, you were bad. There were no bad dogs.

Just bad dance. Did you have to put a dog because it bit people? It went to a farm. Oh. Rest in peace, Gus. Sorry, Gus. No, no, no. He's at the farm. because it bit people? It went to a farm. Oh. Rest in peace, Gus. Sorry, Gus. No, no, no. He's at the farm.

He's still there? He's at the farm. Oh, he's still there. He's older. He went to the farm. Yeah, yeah. Come on, guys. And he's fine.

He's fine. That was totally what- He's married. He got married on the farm. He had several puppies. Gus is still alive. Yeah, yeah. He's 35 years old.

He's 35. Dan, I've written down some numbers. Okay. Do you see your number anywhere on there i do not excellent because most of them are under 50 and you wrote a number between 50 and 100 correct yes excellent good job i like that oh i like that about you i like that about you're coachable i like that about you excellent hang on hard to write upside down were you thinking of 79 that is my number

yeah you were thinking of 79 see actually i knew that i knew that because i could prove it here five and four is nine plus 11 is 20 and 20 plus 59 is 79 10 and and 60, well, that's 70, and 8 and 1 is 9, so that makes 79. 6 and 3 is 9, plus 12 is 21, and 21 plus 58 is 79. 7 and 2, well, that's 9, and 9 and 9 is 18, plus 61 is 79. So, well, that's just the columns. That's math. Maybe math isn't your strong point. Maybe you're more into reading.

We can go across. 11 and 8, well, that's 19, plus 2 is 21, and 21 plus 58 is 79 trying to figure out oh there's my camera oh my god 51 and 9 well 59 and 1 is 16 12 and 7 that's 19 that makes 79 9 and 6 is 15 plus 4 is 19 plus 60 is 79 10 15 18 plus 61 is 79 now that's up and down and across, but also 11, 12, 18 plus 61 or 2, 14, 19 plus 60 or 61 plus 79. Yeah, well there's actually

33 different ways. What the fuck? How did you do this? Well, I'll tell you, Dan, I had a lot of free time. See, I grew up on a farm before the internet was invented. Was his dog there? Yes, his dog was there. Excellent. Let's get a big round of applause for our friend Dan. Holy fucking shit. Alright, Dan.

Did you just think of 69 and add 10? Yeah, yeah. That's what he did. He cleaned it up. Look, there's Titus with the number. It is 79. I showed Brandon it's 79. How the fuck that was? I'll tell you, I had a lot of free time as a kid. Can you just tell us how you did it? You guys spent your time learning how to play sports.

Yeah, come on, man. Let's jump. I don't really... My mind's blown. Do something else. I'm mystified. Do something else. I will do something else.

I can't... I don't understand. We were talking about... I don't know if I like magic anymore. Come on. That one kind of fucked me up. I don't... I'm a little bit lost.

How the... I can't even do... I don't even know the math. bit lost. I can't even do. I don't even know the math. It's an algorithm. Oh, it's an algorithm. That explains it. What does that word mean? Dan, it's quite simple.

Yeah, the real trick here was he did math that fast. Yeah, right. Like, I was trusting him when he said, oh, plus this, plus this, 79. Excellent. Dropped my cards on the floor, but hey, that's no problem. What the fuck? So we're going to try another mind reading trick. What's your name, man?

Sam. Sam, nice to meet you. Sam, Sam, where are you from? Question mark. Sam was worried there for a second. Yeah, I'm from Elizabeth, Colorado. Elizabeth, Colorado. Excellent.

Never heard of it. Very good. Sam. Kind of nasty. Yeah, that was kind of mean. Did we do any... We just met. Didn't make fun of you for not wanting fake sweetener in your coffee, remember?

What? I didn't put any sweetener in my coffee. That's not me. You're confusing me with someone else. Am I? Yeah, you're the only man in a red suit that I met. No, the cream and the milk was curdled in your fridge. So whose fault is that? Dan. It's Dan's fault. The milk was curdled. It probably is Dan's fault.

Oh, it's my fault. It's my fault. During Magic Week, has anyone read your mind? Yeah. Excellent. I'm going to try this again. Hopefully they've got it opened and ready to go. I'm going to try and read your mind, but so I don't get anything too personal. Please don't go too

deep in there. I won't. I won't. We're going to do a little bit of a card trick. I gonna pick a card from the blue deck of cards and you're gonna pick from the red deck of cards these are for those of you that are too proud to wear your glasses okay yeah I lost I lost don't know where they are you lost them at the Taylor Swift concert? Come on. Is that what you said? Come on. Rest easy, Kyle. You don't like her?

I mean, she is a millionaire. So I'm going to make a prediction from the blue deck of cards. I'm going to show you guys. I'm not going to show Sam because he might just say, yes, that is his card, in order to help us all look better. So I'm going to make a prediction. I would never do that. I would never aid a magician. The deck of cards.

Got it? Excellent. There's for you. There's for you. Got it? All right, cool. I'm going to select my prediction card. Now, Sam, there is a prize.

I like prizes. I love games. I love two things. I grew up in the 80s and the 90s. On television, there were two things during the day. If you had to stay home from school, there was game shows and psychics they ruled the world psychics there was miss cleo she had like half jamaican half irish accent she was from the bronx new york ended up going to jail for fraud uh who'd have thought uh yeah yeah total misunderstanding you're next um there was uh sylvia brown she was on the

montel williams show now i'm clear. You're next, buddy. I got friends in low places. I'm fine. But I'm going to make a prediction. Have you killed? He has a bunch of dwarves. You remember, I did grow up on a pig farm. I do know what to do with the bodies.

Okay. Yeah. So, I made a prediction from the blue deck. You're going to pick from the red deck of cards, okay? Now, here's the deal. I love game shows. I love psychics. So we're going to make this a little bit of a game show. If you pick a card and I get it wrong, you will win my 2010 Hyundai Elantra station wagon with 134,000 miles on it. No air conditioning. And it smells of wet dog.

I'd rather have your pants. Which is saying something, because we don't own a dog. So, Sam, you're going to touch the back of any one of these cards. Please make any free choice you would like. You can just go ahead and touch the back of any of those cards. I'm going to touch that one there. Excellent. This is what I'd like you to do is take that card, peek at it, and then keep it close.

Okay? Just take it. Got it? Yeah. Keep it close. That's beautiful. Excellent. What? I'm you to do is take that card, peek at it, and then keep it close, okay? Just take it. Got it? Yeah. Keep it close. That's beautiful. Excellent. What?

I'm going to attempt. What the fuck? I'm going to attempt to read your mind. Yeah, what the fuck just happened? Oh, did you show them? No. There's a television, sir. Oh.

Did you see it? Don't look at that. Excellent. Here we go. Did you see it? No. I know what it is already because I'm going to read your mind. Here we go. Did you see it? No, I know what it is already because I'm going to read your mind. Here we go.

First, I must hit my patented trademark mind-reading pose. Oh, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama. It's kind of like an alpaca. Nice. But they're very different prices. Llama, llama, llama, llama llama llama llama don't confuse them with a camel camel's got humps excellent first thing they're going to do is they're going to say something that goes with the statistics they're going to make a statistical crime statistics um

you have picked a number card is that correct yeah yeah because there's about twice as many number cards in the deck as there are letter cards. Ace, Jack, Queen, King, right? But two through ten. And a psychic would say, somebody in this room is thinking of a name. Somebody is thinking of a name. Maybe someone close to them. It's a name that starts with M.

Most popular name in the world? Mark. Muhammad. Muhammad. Muhammad. Damn. He's close. Second most popular man's name in the U.S.?

Not Mark, but Matthew. Also, LeBron James' birthday not too long ago. Yeah. uh it's close second most popular man's name in the u.s not mark but matthew oh also lebron james birthday not too long ago yes good point you have picked a number card yes sir all right i'm gonna zoom in i'm gonna zoom in you have picked a low number card okay is that correct uh no between one and a hundred yeah yes this is what we call moving the goalpost you may be familiar with this if you paid attention to politics ever excellent now you don't want two no's in a row two no's in a row bad so we're going to use what's called obfuscation it's a big word obfuscation here we go keeping in mind that there are black cherries in the world you have picked a cherry colored card correct yes excellent you have picked a cherry-colored card, correct?

Yes. Excellent! You have picked the six of hearts. You know that's not right. No, but they were all the six of hearts, like earlier. Yeah. Yeah. He handed you a deck.

We saw the back of the deck. It was all six of hearts. What? How could that be? How did you do that? This is a world of illusion. No, turn it over, seriously. Show it to you? Yeah, yeah. I'm not falling for this? How did you? This is a world of illusion. No, turn it over, seriously. Show it to you? Yeah, I've already given... I'm not falling for this.

Where do you live now, in the city? You live in the city? No. No, you live out in the burbs. I live in very rural Colorado. Oh, wow, you're visiting. Could you give me a ride to Rogers Park after this? Yeah. No, what card do you have? Can I show it to you? Yeah, please, please. Where did you get that? Oh, thank God it matches this one. Hey, let's give a big round of applause for our friend.

Thank you so much. I'm sorry you didn't win the car. Yeah, you didn't want it anywhere. Sam, that was the trick that was more for us, because when he gave you the deck, we saw the whole deck. It was all six of hearts. Well, I'm going to tell you this. Me and the Wizard of Swords have been on the road for a while.

Yeah. I'm actually a patsy in this cruel game. He's actually my beautiful assistant. So I've been made a fool of? Do you have? No. No, no, no, no. What?

Yeah. That was on us. No. We think less of you as a human being, but no. You were used. Okay. No, no. Definitely not.

Not the first time I've been used by a magician. So what happens now? Now what happens? Now what do we do? You got any other tricks? You want to do one more? Yeah, do one more. Give us a finale. Give us a finale. Now what happens? Now what do we do? You got any other tricks? You want to do one more? Yeah, do one more. Give us a finale.

All right. Big finale. Big finale. No math this time. No math. I promise. And then maybe Ben does one on him. Whoa.

Oh, okay. You have a trick, right, Mincy? Sort of. I mean, hang on. That was your homework. We'll get you. I did it. Okay.

All right. We'll do your trick. Oh, no, no, no. See, I'm the best audience. I'm the best audience because I have a degree in theater, so I'll pretend to act like I'm amazed. And they call about that money every week, so I might as well use it. Awesome.

So what was your name, man? Connor. Connor, nice to meet you. Connor, Connor. Now, this isn't probably a full-time gig for you. What do you do? This is your full-time gig? you. What do you view? Is this your full-time gig? Awesome.

You are good. Yeah. You're damn good. Wow. How did you get that? God damn. God damn it, dude. He really struggles.

Every time. Every time. Every interaction with the director. More than any of us on this show by a large margin. Yeah. Yeah. Excellent.

Connor. Fuck you. We just met. Yeah. Kill yourself. So as a professional as a professional podcaster, I'm sure you

make two to three times any one of these every day. You know, I'm like probably not. OK. One to two times. This is what I hear. Just please help yourself to one of those. day, you know? Oh, probably not. Okay, all right. One to two times. This is what, here,

just please help yourself to one of those. Thanks, dude, yeah. And this is what I'd like you to do. Now, we can't put your whole name on there like we did for Ben, so if you could please just put your initials, one on each side of that quarter. One on each side.

Yeah, one on each side. That way we know it's yours and yours alone. Fucking fight this dude. He's gonna win. He knows the devil what's funny is i i grew up in the baptist church there was no dancing no playing cards and no having fun you're from the footloose town yes i did grow up in footloose town where did the dark arts fit into that uh well it was it's movies it's not real so um what do you like to do for fun

um play video games excellent what game are you working on do you like to do for fun? Play video games. Excellent. What game are you working on? Do you get what? Gee, he loves pie. He is. He creams pie women. Cream pie, yeah.

Did you receive a new video game this past couple of weeks as a gift? From Santa? No. No, okay. I didn't want to assume you were doing any holidays. I'm Jewish, yeah. Yeah, so that's why I didn't want to assume. What a mitzvah.

But you could have gotten a game, maybe, but you didn't. What's the next one coming out that you're looking the most forward to? Call of Duty. Call of Duty, excellent. Oh, Zombies, excellent. Now, I don't play video games because, honestly, I don't have the time because I take my time doing stuff like this. I'm going to try something a little bit like special effects.

If I can get it just... What the fuck? What the fuck? He just bent the coin. He just bent it. He smushed a coin. There you go. Go ahead. You can take it. It's yours. Oh, shit. That's the quietest I've ever heard you guys.

That was more of a feat of strength. Harry Potter just cream-pied the coin. He bent it. Okay. That was it. That was it. He bends metal with his mind. Is that it?

That was nuts. You want to do your trick now? Let's that's it. That was nuts. All right. You want to do your trick now? All right. Let's go, Mincy. Finale of Magic Week. All right. This is going to be good.

We've been great musicians this week. Or magicians. Yeah. Great start. Okay, Mincy. Great start. All right. We've got a deck of cards.

Yep. Great shuffle. He shuffled. I didn't even shuffle my cards. He's already a step ahead of me. Yeah. I mean,, he shuffled. I didn't even shuffle my cards. He's already a step ahead of me. Yeah. I mean, you're already doing better than I am. A little stage presence, Ben? Yeah, a pizzazz. He's counting cards.

He's imbibing them. A black nine. A black nine. And a black six. And a black six. There's a black six. I didn't know And a black six. And a black six. There's a black six. There's a black six. I didn't know Tyra Banks would be here. Excellent.

All right. Now we're going to throw these guys in the middle here. In the middle? In the middle. What a dated reference. This is Sports Illustrated 1999. Yeah. And I think this should work.

You think it should work? It should work. All right. Screw it up It should work. All right. Screw it up. All right. All right. Nope. Close it up!

Yay! I don't even know what was the plan. I don't know. There was no setup. Talk us through it. There was no... Wait a minute. I want it done to me.

There was no... What was that? All week. You picked out two cards. You want it done to me. What was that? All week. You picked out two cards and then you just threw the deck. But you didn't explain to us what was set up. There was no premise.

Can we run it back like a magician? Give us like an intro. Give us eight words. And what's your magician? He picked out two cards and then he said, watch your magician? He picked out two cards. He picked out two cards, and then he said, watch this, I still have the two cards. Talk to us.

He took two cards through a deck and then said, look at these two cards. Shuffle them. Shuffle the cards. Yeah, talk to us. He's shuffling. It's hard to talk and shuffle okay yeah got a black six a black nine a black six and a black nine there you go no queen latifah

all right you got the black six the black nine you're putting them put them in putting them in the middle. Okay. Got it. Now you got to say some magic words. Okay. Every time I open my mouth, something bad happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't say the 14 magic words.

Are they clubs or spades? Yes. The black nine, the black six, the middle, or black? Black. Ta-da! I think there might be a reason why he's saying they're black and not. Okay. No, no.

That was good. That was good, Mitzi. I need to get rid of the World Series of Poker. I'm going to close out Magic Week this week. I'm going to teach you guys a trick. Wow. You guys want to learn a trick? Yes.

More than anything. I've made a prediction week. I'm going to teach you guys a trick. Wow. You guys want to learn a trick? Yes. More than anything. I've made a prediction already. I made it actually so long ago. I made this prediction back in 2021. Yeah, back in 2021 I made this prediction. Three years ago. Three years ago. Do me a favor, please.

If you could just cut those cards about in half. Excellent. Hang on, hang on. We're going to just cut. First, we've got to see how you did. All right. You did okay. You did all right. Now, remember on. We're going to just cut. Well, first we got to see how you did. All right. You did okay. You did all right. Now remember, you're all going to learn this trick. Now we're just going to mark. Now I mentioned I did make a prediction. I actually used your card box to make the prediction. So the card box is going to be our prediction. We're just going to

take a look at what card you cut to. Okay. Okay. What card you cut to right there? You got everybody can see that yes. Yeah good excellent Well On the ball on the box right there the king of spades let's get a big round of applause Would you like to learn how to do that? No. No. No, we don't want. We like this.

All right. If you don't want to learn how to do it, but it is a trick I'm willing to share. I'll be for the viewer at home. Yes, of course we do. Okay. I want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you teach Mince how to do it and then-

Have him do it to us. Have him do it to us. That's the- Because we don't- Right. That's a good- We could go away. We don't-

I mean, my mic's live, but you know, we could turn that off. Yeah, but we don't- Like, no disrespect to you. That's because we don't. Right. We could go away. I mean, my mic's live, but, you know, we could turn that off. Yeah, but we don't, like, no disrespect to you. We do enjoy not knowing. We enjoy being. Right. We enjoy the whimsy of it all. Oh, no, I absolutely appreciate that. Do you think Mincy could learn that trick in 10 minutes, 20 minutes?

He could learn it in five. All right, well, that's what I'm saying. Teach Mincy. Have Mincy do it for us. We're going to go grab. We'll be right back. At this point in my life, the feeling of awe and wonder is better than an orgasm.

It's all I feel besides when I cut my thighs. I also, Ed, right? Very good. I feel like this was the perfect I'm done with magic. I've had my fill. He's tried to fight all of us, I think. Yeah.

Every single one of us. Can we talk about that? Can we talk about that spades joke? Yeah. Yeah. Did I not understand it? What'd he say? Should January go buy it?

I don't know what he... Well... No, no, no. Please repeat it. No, no, no. Walk us through it. What was it? There was an odd joke.

If you... But I don't think we were... I don't want to say off color. It was certainly on it yeah um but yeah what i who knew it took seven straight days of magic to get a little tired of yeah but we get we we got to the perfect conclusion that's right it takes seven like i i was worried that monday would come and be like where's the magician i'm not gonna feel that i might yeah yeah i'm still super into what he did with like this is that was crazy

79 was crazy that was quite impressive yeah fucking insane i'm down to like cap the week off by lighting that guy on fire yeah oh yeah i mean that was his best trick to be like this isn't your full-time job yeah you're poor you don't belong here yeah yeah is that like a phenomenon it's like it's all on your face put off off a smell? Yeah, what do I look like? You look like you dabble in podcasting. Yeah. Dabble? Yeah.

It's like the worst. You and Big Cat are dressed kind of similarly, but he looks so much richer. I think it might be. Well, no, your shoes are nice. Yeah. This is my best fit. Maybe. I don't fucking know.

I give up. You said fit, and now you got to own it. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon, you're dressed worse, and now you got to own it. Yeah. Yeah. Brandon, you're dressed worse, and he didn't say anything. Didn't say anything to me. It has to be all rooted in the face. You just outfitted him.

No, I'm living in that. He said something to everybody, but not me. Yeah, but you look like a retired backyard wrestler. You know what I mean? Oh, that's a compliment for Brandon. That is, that's a beautiful sentence you just said. Yeah, yeah. I didn't mean it negatively at all.

I appreciate it. Those guys typically don't retire. That's more of an OD situation. They die. No, they find them. Okay. Those bodies are usually found in a hotel room or a red roof inn. Yeah.

You look like one of those bodies that they find. I think that's what he's saying. They were found two weeks ago. Yeah, they're found. How's the diabetes? I don't have diabetes. I'm good. I haven't had a cramp today.

I haven't had anything today. I've been fine. Today's been great. Why are you typically cramping? I don't had anything today. I've been fine. Today's been great. Why are you typically cramping? I don't know. I typically have pains throughout my body. I'm older. Yeah.

I'm older. I'm 44 years old. So this is your first day of feeling good. It's my first day of feeling good in a while. And you're like, I guess I'm good. I'm great. Have you tried Oxycontin? No.

No. Because I'm sure that that magician can get you a bunch what was the no there what uh no it was heavy no no i i've not tried the oxycontin he didn't want to come across as a fraud disappoint his people back home correct yes he lost a lot of street cred back home already moved to live chicago yeah people in mississippi are not going to be happy i'm not doing oxygen and people are like what the fuck Your dad was an Oxycontin And my dad just had a legacy of drugs So I'm not living up to any of that

They're rioting at the Como Steakhouse right now They're pissed Did you just say the Como Steakhouse? Yes sir That's right I've been all over this crazy blue marble Down in our south of Memphis What's your favorite state to go to uh my favorite for comedy for comedy i think it's madison man really

yeah madison wisconsin's a great comedy town yeah yeah what's the worst that yeah yeah uh the worst oh my is it orlando god everyone says miami no i think it's tallahassee okay it's florida yeah miami is a terrible place to do stand-up when you look like me. But if you're an Asian with a bowl cut, boy, do they eat it up. If you can do any kind of voice on stage there, they love it. That's their speed. You can do a voice. You can do a voice. But yeah, Miami's tough.

When you look like a pig man, they hate it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Mook's right here. Mook, have you done Tallahassee? No, my worst was Bridgeport, Connecticut. have you done Tallahassee? No. My worst was Bridgeport, Connecticut. Oh, my God. The Stress Factory?

Yeah. God, time to buy a bullet and rent a gun. I was like, I'm going to do heroin this week. Yeah. Uh-huh. You would have fit in. It's called the Stress Factory? That's a horrible name.

That's a terrible name for a comedy club. Stress Factory. Is it a spin on the Laugh Factory? Because that makes more sense. No, it's a completely different franchise. There's a bunch of those. There's a bunch of Stress Fact There's a bunch of stress factories. Yep, New Jersey as well.

New Jersey's solid, but Bridgeport was. What's up with Connecticut? Because I consider the Northeast and the New York area to be a good comedic... I think the one in Bridgeport, there's nothing around it. You're two hours away from Yale. You're an hour and a half outside of New York. You're not near anything. Yeah, it's like in syracuse that club's a nightmare uh never been there yeah

you'll get there they'll let you host yeah just keep sending those tapes yeah louisville was tough that's a tough place who are you featuring are you headlining uh featuring and hosting he's opening for sass oh you're on the sass squad yes Yes, sir. Shout out to the Youngblood. Yeah. He's figuring it out slowly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a lot funnier than I thought he would be.

Yeah. I agree. Yeah, I agree. That's a compliment. Great, I guess. Kind of mean. I'm being sincere. Yeah.

It's cool that Roan Guy gets to do black voice all the time. Yeah. No one ever calls him out for that. He won a battle rap, a few battle rap competitions. That was the prize. Yeah, all right, you can say it. You can say that West Virginia prospect. Yeah.

So is this Mincy character? Yeah. Not character. That's real. He's real. Okay. How did you guys find him? He was...

Did he live in the building when you guys – No, he was celebrating an Ole Miss victory, and it was like a 30-second clip, and Dave was like, I need him. Yeah, and he got him. Yeah. Oh, boy, here we go. He was a foe, a natural foe to Mississippi State, Brandon. Oh, yeah, damn.

Which is why he was hired. Ancient rivals. Part of it. Ole Miss. I'm kind of looking in the rearview mirror. Not even – He said you're looking in the rearview mirror. Not even, not. He said you're looking in the rearview mirror.

Well, you guys have Faulkner and Barry Hanna. You have such a storied literary career. John Grisham. Really? Yeah. Wow. Those books are good. Not.

All right, you believed him for a second. All right, boys. All right, Mincy. He just keeps putting his name on stuff. All right. Friends, I'd like to introduce you to the newest magician. Alright, Mincy. He just keeps putting his name on stuff. Alright. Friends, I'd like to introduce you to the newest magician in Chicago, Mincy!

Yeah! Magic Mince. Let's go, Mince. Minceman. Making a prediction. That's right. That's the word, yeah. Alright.

Okay. Took him four minutes to teach him that word. Mince, remember, pizzazz. You have energy out the wazoo, my friend. Use it.

Alright, I'm making a prediction. Yeah. Throwing our nuts down. Let's go here, boys. Let's put them on the table. So. Alright, I'm making a prediction. Throwing our nuts down. Let's go here, boys. Let's put them on the table. I'm going to show y'all a card. No, no, no. We'll see you in five.

We need the right to do it. Oh, man. Ed, just so you know, this is an impossible task. I got this. I got this. I'm writing down my prediction. Oh, Mitzi, pizzazz.

Spunk. He's going to write down a prediction. He's going to write down a prediction. All right, here we go. From South Louisiana. North Louisiana. North Louisiana. South Louisiana's got more of a Cajun.

I got more of the redneck crawl going. All right, we're going to fix your artwork a little bit. Good luck. Oh, shit! Can you explain what happened? Please explain. Was it just the wrong thing written down? He wrote the wrong thing?

He's not good with shapes. Okay, alright, alright. He's just not real good with shapes. That's all. He's still, you know, still at it. Was his task to draw a shape? What shape? What shape?

One of the wrong ones. One of the wrong ones. One of the wrong ones. Okay. All right. Keep going, Mince. Would you like me to cut the cards? Yes.

Excellent. I'm going to cut the cards. And what happens, Mince? What do I do when I cut the cards? We're picking. I'm picking a card the cards? Yes. Excellent. I'm going to cut the cards. And what happens, Mintz? What do I do when I cut the cards? We're picking. I'm picking a card, right? Right. Excellent.

Good job. See, I just keep feeding him water. Yeah, yeah. So there we go. Okay. So you made that prediction, right? I made that prediction. It's an amazing prediction.

Yeah, it is. It's a gorgeous prediction. Damn right. That's right. Everybody go ahead and look at the card I stopped on. Okay. Got it? Got it?

Yeah. Excellent. Is it a red card or a black card? It's a red card. Now, there are two shapes in the red cards. There are hearts. This is quick at all. Yeah.

This one. And there are diamonds. Diamonds. This one. Which one is it? I think it's a heart. Oh, my goodness. It is. it is a heart

There are numbers in the cards Letters in the cards, is it a number or a letter card? I think it's a number Is it a number card, guys? Yeah, it's a number card What card did you see? Name it, someone named it Name it out loud, what card did you see?

It was the eight of hearts Let's see the prediction Boom, eight of hearts But I was the eight of hearts. Let's see the prediction. Boom. Eight of hearts. But I drew a diamond. I screwed up. I drew a diamond.

Pretty good. Sure, that works. Pretty, pretty good. Not too shabby. Ed, thank you so much. We appreciate it. You were fantastic. Ed, you're great, dude. You're getting there.

You're just going to put lipstick on Finn here. But he did the magic part. It wasn't Mincy's trick at all. He just told Mincy, say the eight of hearts, and I'll cut the deck to the eight of hearts. He's the one that pulled off the trick. You kind of did it. It's not your fault.

I'm more like, Mincy, what did you do in all this? He can do it. But he didn't do it at all. You didn't do the magic. That was the whole thing. All you did was write down. He showed me the eight of hearts, and I thought it was the eight of diamonds. But you wrote down, all you did was write down the card he told you was write down. He showed me the eight of diamonds. He showed me the eight of hearts, and I thought it was the eight of diamonds. But you wrote down.

All you did was write down the card he told you to write down. You didn't execute the actual trick. No, I didn't do shit. Yeah, yeah. Well, had our lessons stuck a little better, he would have done it. Don't blame the teacher. No, I'm not. I'm not blaming the teacher.

All right, well, thank you so much, Edwin. Yeah, thank you, Ed. No problem. Wizard of sorts. Wizard of sorts. That's right. That's right. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.

Yeah. Fantastic stuff. Have a great afternoon. Everybody have a safe New Year. All right. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. Thanks, Ed.

Wizard of sorts. Wizard of sorts. Got to smash the follow. Smash and follow. Smash. Smash and follow. Smash and follow. If you think his magic's good, his political commentary's even better. Yeah.

Oh. It's alright. I blame Dan. Oh, these are your cards, man. Oh, you're Ed with two Ds. Yes, yes. My mom had a terrible stutter. No, I'm sorry. That's a very ableist joke. Excuse me. My mom thought she was creative. Thank you. Nice to meet you, Ed. That's a very ableist joke. Excuse me. That wasn't the worst joke. My mom thought she was creative. Thank you.

Nice to meet you, Ed. That was top three. Thank you, Ed. Appreciate it. You're welcome. You're welcome. Enjoy, everybody. That was great.

What do you got, Mincy? I got nothing. I learned a lot about magic this week. I don't know. It was fun. Yeah. Good week. Good week.

Your mind got blown multiple times. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What are you talking about? Ignore all of this. Are you setting up another trick? I think it is.

This is more of the comedy. It's the problem with the new deck. It's very slick, and it keeps sliding everywhere. Slick new deck. But I have to say, the fact that I got the opening, you know. There we are. All right. Another card there.

Enjoy yourselves, guys. See you next time. Appreciate you. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Enjoy yourselves, guys. See you next time. Appreciate you. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Three diamonds. Oh. He left that for us.

Is that your card? You can have that, Mincy. It was great. Well, Magic Week. Magic Week has reached its finale. Thank you, Mincy. I enjoyed it. It was fun.

Yeah. It was a lot of fun. Thank y'all for having me. Yeah. Of course. Appreciate it. I feel I lived up to my duties to the poorest magician's assistant in the land oh without a doubt without a doubt yeah so uh thank you okay you got any winners this weekend i don't i do what you got hammer jared stood him over rushing yards okay well he's a broncos fan

so well hey he's playing the raiders and crosby's gonna be up his ass he's gonna run, he's a Broncos fan, so that's... Well, hey, but he's playing the Raiders, and Crosby's going to be up his ass. He's going to run. Yeah, he's going to be running that ball. So I'll be on over. There's a lot of props. You know Big Cat's going to put like 30 grand on this now. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll be right there. There's all these props this weekend.

People are hitting incentives because of the... Yeah. DeAndre Hopkins. I think, though, not to... Sam, I think that you are suffering from thinking you broke Vegas because you mentioned this to me earlier as well. I'm seeing all ones and zeros. You're like rushing yards for quarterbacks.

It was like his... That's how you beat the bookie. Yeah, it's like I have crypto, but it's Uber of crypto. Yeah. I'm in the matrix right now. Okay, well, now I'm going to bet it. I would take it because it's his second game as a starter. I'm going to be mad at you.

And he's playing for the job, potentially, because he's worth $7 million. How many yards are we talking? I don't know. I haven't looked at the line yet. But, I mean, I would take it over 40. That's over 40? I'm crazy. Are the money incentives not well proof no they're definitely

not full they're not full but there are a few interesting ones chris jones needs half a sack for 1.25 million the sack you you can't yeah but like a getting four receptions for yeah dalton shultz needs six catches for a bunch isn't odell close to a few? Odell. Austin Eckler needs 110 yards. I'm not betting on him anymore. I'm not taking Eckler like that. Oh, fuck it. Yeah, there are a few more. Justin Jefferson needs 118 for 1,000

because he got hurt. Ooh. A few more in there. Tyreek Hill needs 246 for an NFL record, but that's going to be tough against Buffalo. That's so much. Yeah, that's a lot. If he hadn't missed that...

What happened with him? His house? Yeah. Yeah, it just burnt down. He he hadn't missed that jetpack. What happened with him? His house? Yeah. I just burnt down. He was dating Left Eye Lopez. That's easy. A kid with a lighter. A kid was playing with a lighter?

Yeah. One of his 12 children? Oh, my goodness. I think that's just this year, right? Yeah, he said 12 kids this year. I think it's three or four this year. It's been a lot this year. Brandon, what would you do if one of your kids burnt down your house?

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. That would be quite the hill to climb. That would be quite the test of what kind of man you are. Yeah. We didn't talk about this. We talked about it on Mostly Sports a little bit.

The family went out to uh great wolf lodge yesterday and tommy got recognized on his own no way yes my uh no player props yet tommy got recognized uh it was a grown man said hey are you tommy from parstool and oh i i didn't like that but but my wife said it was all good it was out of how was that a water how do you react uh he was excited how grown of a man are we talking i don that, but my wife said it was all good. Was that a water park? How did he react? He was excited. How grown of a man are we talking? I don't know, but my wife said everything was fine.

Do you recognize him by his feet? Well, no. My son comes on the show quite often, and now he's starting to get recognized out in the world by grown men. You better keep him away from Ed. A grown man at a water park? That was already the plan. Is that what Great Wolf Lodge is? It's an indoor water park.

Is that in the Dells? There's one everywhere. There's Great Wolf Lodges all across the country. You guys should buy a Great Wolf Lodge franchise. That's a good idea. That'd be fun. That sounds fun. I'd love to go to Great Wolf Lodge. Indoor water park? That's about 30 minutes up the road. From you.

What do we do if we run into a child that we know from the internet that's a good question you keep your eyes above their chin i think yeah i don't know if you i wouldn't acknowledge the child well what child would you recognize that isn't bad baby baby gronk the kid that does like the outdoor oh you would say you would say hello if you saw baby gronk right i don't think i would no No. Lockdown Lenny. What's up, Baby Gronk? Be weird.

That would be weird. I would acknowledge Baby Gronk and Baby Diggs. You wouldn't recognize Baby Diggs? Is Baby Diggs still a thing? I don't know. Baby Diggs is my number one. Who's the most famous kid? I love Baby Diggs.

Most famous kid right now? Who's top kid? Oh, fuck. Like 12. It's pre-pubescent, we'll say. Is it Drake's kid? Adonis? I don't know if he's some 17-year-old. I feel like we shouldn't. Oh, yeah. It's Northwest like pre-pubescent, we'll say. Is it Drake's kid? I don't know if it's some 17-year-old. I feel like we shouldn't.

Oh, yeah. It's Northwest. I was going to say Northwest. It might be one of those YouTube kids. No, self-made kids. Ryan, it could be Ryan. A bootstrapping child. I'm not talking about famous because you're famous.

No, Nepo kids are famous. Yeah, I think he's right. I think it's a YouTube kid. Who's the YouTube kid? The kids who play with toys and have a billion. Ryan opens toys. Yeah, Ryan Toy Reviews has been fucking five years old for 10 years. Yeah, I've been. Who's the YouTube The kids who play with toys And have a billion Ryan opens toys Yeah Ryan toy reviews Has been fucking five years old

For ten years Yeah I've been He has a pituitary I watch a lot of Vlad and Nicky in my house It's just two Russian kids In Miami That just play with toys

And they're watching that No my kids don't watch it I watch it Oh okay Yeah I've just been watching it Magic week Magic is exhausting Magic is exhausting

Magic is exhausting I am exhausted from Magic Week A lot of different personality types Who was your favorite magician? Ever? It's an oxymoron No, this week It was the first one

That was also the issue Magic Week is The first one was like incredible So it was tough for the other three guys The guy yesterday was good The guy yesterday was great Jake was awesome That was also the issue with Magic Week is the first one was, like, incredible. So it was tough for the other three guys. The guy yesterday was good, too. The guy yesterday was great. Jake was awesome. But that half-court shot, I mean, we had a magician make a half-court shot.

First try? It would have gone in if the ceiling were high. No, but what's fucked up about it is we didn't have, like, we weren't like, hey, man, you want to take a shot? He volunteered. He asked in the dorkiest way possible possible he said wouldn't it be gangster if we scored a shot yeah scored a shot yeah no we laughed at his face and then he hit a half court shot we're like what the fuck there's the shirt no one we realized

after he said it that that was the first time that sentence has ever been uttered in the english language wouldn't it be gangster and scored a shot don't go together that is his second language is english his first is illusion yeah speaking illusion yeah he was awesome do you have any babes magician babes no we didn't have any babes this whole place is a real testament to no girls allowed yeah it's a boys club yeah yeah pretty cool huh it's the best yeah fart and stuff it's awesome okay yeah we have a couple chicks we don't let them talk yeah i was like hey we don't no kate kate is part of the show she's on maternity leave nice so and congrats she's a female by god uh what else you got, Mincy?

Anything? Any big plans this weekend? Man, I think I'm going to go. I think I'm going to hit the dance floor at John Boy tonight.

Oh, hell yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Put that on a shirt. I'm feeling kind of fresh going into 2024. Okay. There's rumors of a

Mincy-Nikki Smokes collab at John Boy tonight. Oh. I got to try to pick up on all the, you know, the women that he's got, apparently,

you know, the way he runs his mouth about it. Okay. So hopefully. You want some trickle down? But you're at your fittest. I'm feeling good, boys.

I feel really good. And it's been showing. I feel this is the best I've probably felt. What's changed? He's lost a lot of weight. He's lifted weights and run. The thing that's lately, though, is I switched from like 80-20 running to 50-50 lifting and running.

Love that. The weights are making a big difference. Yeah. My New Year's thing is just I'm trying to eat at home more at Whole Foods and quit eating out so much. Nice. But free lunches don't count. Yeah.

Yeah, just going to quit. But, yeah, I feel good. It's going to be a great 2024. I love Chicago. Ole Miss at Tennessee tomorrow? Tough one, I think, for Ole Miss. I mean, I know Ole Miss undefeated, but Tennessee's played a super tough schedule

and Ole Miss has played a light one. I think this is a tough one. I mean, for Ole Miss. I mean, I know Ole Miss undefeated, but Tennessee's played a super tough schedule and Ole Miss has played a light one. I think this is a tough one. I mean, you never know. But I think Tennessee's, you know, it's a tough spot to open SEC. Ready for some football this weekend. Buffalo being a full three at Miami. Very interesting lineup. Yes.

Like, thought it would be one or two, you know. Yeah. Got a full three. Makes me think Vegas likes the Bills. You're on the Bills. Full three. You got the Bills' future, too, right? Yeah, so I'm not going to touch that game. Same. Yeah. All right, well, thank you, you know. Yeah. Full three. Makes me think Vegas likes the Bills. You're on the Bills. Full three. You got the Bills future too, right? Yeah.

So I'm not going to touch that game. Same. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Mincy. Yeah. Thank y'all. Appreciate it.

Great week. Great work this week. Hey, man. Great job. Rumors of wake up Mincy returning in 12 days. Okay. Looking with the thought, the current thought is January 15th or 16th. Okay.

Nice little break. Will the dump button? That's definitely being addressed. thought is January 15th or 16th. Okay. That's definitely being addressed. We'll not come back without that. The rule, Big Cat rule, if I'm only with Big Cat. If you're present with me, I will let you be on a live show. Looking forward to football stream Sunday Monday, right? Yep. Is there a stream for Steelers tomorrow? No.

Okay. Yeah. Have a good weekend. See you, Mincy. Have a. Okay. Have a good weekend. See you, man. See you, man. It's a great weekend. Great job this week. Thank you, Big Up. Yeah. That Steelers game is a joke, right?

No, I think the Ravens will win. You think so? Yeah. Are they starting their starters? No. No. Okay. But I think they just hate them so much,

and they also win in the preseason. That's an interesting thought. Yeah, like the Ravens had that streak where they won like 25 games in the preseason. Yeah, but in the preseason it's an interesting thought yeah like the ravens had that streak where they won like 25 games in the preseason yeah but in the preseason they're playing other teams who are also playing in the preseason right but not somebody who's playing my point is they harbaugh will have his team try no matter what yeah i get that but in the preseason they're playing teams that aren't trying the steelers will be trying correct everything they've got. Correct. Yeah. This happened in 2019 as well. The Ravens had the one seed locked up, and RG3 killed the Steelers week 17.

Yeah, and it's a chance to really just dash playoff hopes. It would be, yeah. Yeah. You want to do the high noon ad read? Let's see, what date did he just say? I don't know. He said 10 to 12. The 15th?

Why? So you mean Martin Luther King Jr. Oh, no. He said 10 to 12. 15th? Why? You mean Martin Luther King Jr. started MLK Day? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's fucking animals. Holy shit.

Yep. Oh, no. He's the best. All right. Today's episode is brought to you by High Noon. The High Noon Game Day Pack is back. It includes limited edition fan faves, pear and cranberry, along with black cherry and grapefruit.

It's made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free, no added sugar. The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive, which means it's here for a good time, but not a long time. Visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate to find a pack near you. Delicious Bev. Can we have a talk about, real quick, I just noticed when he stood up.

I know when he was sitting down, we could see everything. Kyle's shorts are just short. Yeah. They're just super short. Did his ass get too big and he didn't realize? When he stood up and walked out, they stayed short. They didn't come down at all. Here, can we get a camera of him leaving the bathroom?

I think his ass got big. And it's taken up the shorts? Over the winter, yeah. We had a camera in the bathroom. We did. We had one in the shower. That's fun. Yeah, that was an oversight by me. Yeah, you oversaw the installation.

The shorts were plenty. I came in like 9.30ish today, and he was doing lunges with- Yeah, he was with Chef Donnie. Yeah, with Chef Donnie. Wait, Steven, what's going on? No glasses today? We're hooping today. Yeah, with Chef Donnie. Wait, Stephen, what's going on? No glasses today? We're hooping today. Oh, alright. I'll be hooping.

Oh! What the fuck was that? Watch out. Titus, thoughts? Beat gang. Classic SC right there. Classic SC. Let's yak for a little longer

Yeah I think Sam is going to do The yak challenge Sure Oh yes What is it? It's a It's a challenge

It's a stoma installed Yeah And then we fuck it We'll do it at the end of the show It's a test of will Okay Strength Merit

Yeah Okay Athletic ability Yeah Mind I'm an all state athlete I'm ready to go. What state?

Colorado. What sport? First team football, second team wrestling. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, shit. A wrestler. KB's a wrestler. Oh, fuck.

He was second state wrestler in Colorado. Second team all-state. Really? All-state. Colorado has some studs. It was heavyweight, so it's whoever falls down first in some states probably like single a yeah i was three a oh and you're good no i'm not good i how do they do how do they do all state teams in wrestling like isn't the tournament kind of it's out for you

it's been watered down to the fucking bitter end with classifications. You'll have small states with six classifications. It's a glorified local conference tournament at that point. There are 16 total teams. Yeah. The tightest net is going to happen. Probably like six of which can't even field a quarter of a lineup. So, yeah, you want to, yeah. What do you wrestle, like 135?

30. 30? Yeah. Which is no longer a weight okay he's division one wrestler that's awesome man yeah wrestling was such a nightmare i had to wrestle because my football coaches didn't want me to gain weight in the offseason the big thing yeah so i would go from like 320 football and then have to cut to 275 in like two months and yeah so like the first practice would be on the bike you'd lose like eight pounds just wearing the bags on you and then i hate i hated wrestling i don't have it in me i do too yeah like wrestling fathers should all be locked up yeah they should be behind glass yeah it's horrific it's truly upsetting and isn't that your dad well hear me out is that d that Doug Winoy? No, not Doug.

We finally, there's an account, a YouTube account, where wrestling matches are getting a million plus views. What? People are watching wrestling? The kicker, these are random high school matches. And if you look at the comments and the Zoom-ins, it's an official a licensed official in the state of illinois who is clearly using it as sex pest masturbatory

and the comments are all real weird they're not they're clearly not wrestling fans yeah yikes they're like i love the cinematography the lighting is great what's the account called? he just got figured out how do you follow this? in the wrestling community it's a small world

how do I find it? it's this guy Midwest Wrestle he should be locked up this is him? that guy what are the comments? It's like they know they can't be too sexual yeah Yes, it'll be like oh the lighting at 1351 yeah, and then the thumbnails are suggestive what yeah

It's already such an unsavory sport for a young man to have to do. I know. Like, no young man should have to eat egg whites and clementine oranges for six weeks. Exactly. Yeah, it's so terrible. Yeah, the thing that's wild about wrestling to me is when I was playing basketball and we wanted to get better at basketball, we practiced basketball. Uh-huh.

With wrestling, if you want to get better at wrestling, you put a trash bag on, exercise for a lot, eat some wild shit. It just feels like 95% of the stuff is like, just put yourself through hell. I treat making weight as the sport. Yeah. Horribly unhealthy. I was in survival mode, trying to just get a sip. Remember after weigh-ins, we would just have baguettes waiting from Safeway.

As soon as you got off the scale, you would just core out the entire insides of that baguette, and we would all eat that dough like an apple. That's what I looked forward to the most was that baguette. So exciting. That's the sport. That feels like the sport. It's almost like the matches are secondary.

I would make weight and feel like I just completed a marathon, and I'm like, oh, fuck, I have to compete in an hour. I'm from such a rural town that it was encouraged. Like teachers would look the other way when you were chewing in class. Like if you had scoling and you would just spit all the time because you're trying to lose six ounces by that evening. Yeah, it's just totally unhealthy and should not be allowed in high school sports. I agree.

But it does really teach a competitive edge, and I think there's merits to that, but God, it's unhealthy. Also, the sport isn't very fun. I played basketball my freshman year. That was my winter sport, and it was fun because I would just dominate the paint for three minutes and then go back to the bench.

Yeah. But I was an efficient player sam you're an author yeah i wrote a book i wrote two books two novels you make new york times no because i self-published but i've outsold all of those books we we self-published you made new york times bestseller yeah you probably had better pr than me well no we just we titled it a new york times bestseller that's like my twitter handle yeah yeah that was the title of our we wrote an erotic novel really yeah who wrote it uh all of us we all wrote a chapter there's actually no no chapter actually goes with the next chapter okay so it's kind of like a burroughs-esque pastiche yeah yeah what did we

what were the names uh we all chose at random a mythological beast and a sex fetish. Did someone fuck the Cerebus? No. Mainly all fucked Brandon. Oh, here it is. Yeah, here's the title content. Yeah, I had a leprechaun, tease god, a devious hobgoblin. Wow.

Brick guitar. Yeah. Twin harpies. Twin harpies. Give me all of that. Who got the banshees? No banshees. You made them whale, though.

We had a Goo Beast. Yeah. Goo Beast. Chimera would be fun because it has all the DNA. Right. Yeah. Right. And I think this one had 18 dicks.

How long did it take you to write a book? I wrote a book in about 18 months. What was the type of book? A week tops. It's called Running the Light. You can buy it off SamTalent.com. It's about an old broken down comedian doing buy it off samtalent.com. It's about an old broken down comedian doing seven days on the road.

Love it. It's like a literary novel too because I love reading books. So I really put my heart into it. I'm sure you've read it. I read it and actually I'm the one that wrecked it to sass. Thank you, dude. Yeah, that was very kind. Hell yeah. It was really good.

Great book. I've heard nothing but great things. Yeah, I'm really proud of it. Yeah. Now I've got to write another book, and that's hard. We could write it for you. I could write you guys a book in about 12 days if you guys want to do another great literary cash grab

or whatever you call it. What was our next book going to be about? It was about a guy who could only fuck one more time. Final fuck. And he'll die. Final fuck. If he fucks one more time, he dies, but then he falls in love. Oh, wow. Do you use both fingers? He can finger fuck. He can jerk off. and he'll die final fuck if he fucks one more time he dies but then he falls in love

oh wow do you use both fingers he can finger fuck he can jerk off he can't he can't he can't fuck he can't fuck

can't fuck or can't bust he can't bust no but if he busts he doesn't get final fuck it was the final fuck he doesn't get less horny yeah I thought it was like

yeah that's right that's my he's writing a sci-fi book about a guy he only gets hornier he doesn't get any less hornier. He does the same amount of horniness. Wow.

I think that would be like. But he can make it rain. Golly. You're like Nabokov. What a great twist. It's going to be a great book. Yeah, you guys should crank that out. We will.

Oh, we will. It's the most daunting thing in the world. You have to like alter your lifestyle completely yeah when you're writing oh yeah you have to force yourself to sit down and write yeah i mean my whole thing was like i need a thousand words a day okay that takes eight hours it takes eight hours if you're writing dialogue though it's pretty quick you get it done but yeah it was i just had to be in front of the computer did you start with a skeleton of like how you wanted it to go or did you just go

oh I wrote like 200,000 words of two other things and then the first chapter of the book I finished was like part of one of those I was like I can write this guy a lot easier

because he's everything I fear becoming oh no yeah that's dark doesn't have a wife anymore his kids are distant

he's addicted to drugs and booze and you know doing very hacky comedy because it's the only skill he has. It's bleak. Did you like the Stanhope movie? Yeah, I thought it was solid.

Yeah, it was very dark. Well, it was a direct ripoff of my book. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, for sure. If Stanhope wasn't involved, I would have been like, okay. Yeah, what the fuck's going on here? Let's call up the lawyers, but no. No one saw it because stanhope doesn't act

well but it's okay yeah yeah i love doug doug changed my life oh he's he's a gem yeah i heard he's doing better uh yeah i mean he was always doing fine was his house on fire his house caught fire he lived in the tucson airport hotel for about three months wow yeah yeah but he loved it he loves an airport hotel okay i think he's off the booze right now. I heard he's off cigs and off the booze. It's amazing. Yeah. I saw him about two weeks ago.

He looks good. He doesn't look good. He still looks like he has fetal alcohol syndrome. He still has it. Adult onset. Adult onset. Got it late. Yeah.

Did you guys see the Cat Williams interview? Yes. Could you explain? Can someone give me the cliff notes? He went off on a lot of things. Steve Harvey got it good. Patrick the Entertainer, Steve Harvey. Chris Tucker.

Joe Rogan. Everyone on Rogan. Everybody. Everybody. Well spoken. And what was the, he just had some beef he wanted to get off? He was just sitting there and they were drinking and he decided to talk shit about it. You know like the, you see like fights of fans in the upper deck at football games that are drunk

and they're just trying to punch everybody around them? He had the approach of that, except every punch was landing. Like he had, like his mindset was like, I'm going to fucking kill everybody. But unlike the drunk guy who's just throwing punches He was like very calculated. He's very yeah, I've seen a lot of every single one talking. It was crazy I saw somebody say you guys looked alike Kyle. Oh Yeah, I saw a few tweets that like Kyle kind of has the same look at it Yeah, it's also very funny that everyone's tweets about him, it auto-corrects to Katie. My God.

So I've seen so many Katie Williams. What? It was fun to see Shannon Sharp tongue-tied. Yeah. Also, Shannon Sharp's wearing like a skin-tight beige jumper somehow. Yeah. Yeah. He wears tight shirts.

And like when he says that Chris Tucker's on the Epstein list or whatever, Shannon, you see this look through the camera. Oh my God. This goes, oh Lord. Yeah. The whole thing was like, hey, Shannon, this guy you're really cool with is the most despicable dude in the world. Yeah.

He just sits there silent. I gotta watch this. Denver Broncos legend. That happened this week. More Baltimore Ravens. Shut up. God, he went over there. No, he's more.

He's more Broncos. I know he was more Broncos. Okay, just make sure. I know he was more Broncos. Jeez. Sorry. That happened this week, too, with Theo Vaughn and Sean Strickland. What happened?

Oh, yeah. I saw that. It was the white version of them. It was the white version, yeah. And Strickland just went off about all this crazy shit and then for- Who'd he roast? Sean is the white name of everyone. Everyone.

Like who? Yeah, Sean is the white cat. Like, I don't even- Give me, like, a list of a couple people. Gays, different races. It wasn't like- I just saw him like crying. And then he got into his childhood trauma and cried on screen for like 10 minutes. Yeah.

It was wild. Recommend that one. Rod. Is it Rod Strickland from Jerry Maguire? No, that's Rod Tidwell. Rod Strickland is the basketball player. That was a great point. Rod Smith, Denver Broncos legend.

Receiver. It's true. Not a lot of legend. We need somebody to cry on great point. Rod Smith, Denver Broncos legend. Receiver. It's true. Not a lot of legend. We need somebody to cry on this show. We're due. You were close. I'm going to get there. That magician blasted you?

Sure. Yeah. It was a good roast by him. He didn't even know. He didn't know he was roasting you. It wasn't a roast. It was the accidental drive-by. I'm used to it.

It happens. Yeah, you caught a stray. You were just sitting in your house. I'm addicted to bullets. What are the odds of that? Bags cry. Who's won? I want to put cry on the wheel.

I think that's... If we did a... I think it is on the wheel. Intentionally cry. Oh, is that on the name? I don't think I could do it. I don't know if I could. I could cry. You should show Mitzi footage of desegregating schools.

Mitzi. Very good. He's quite something. Yeah, he's god's perfect angel i love that he messed up a shape yeah oh yeah that's up a card trick yesterday we've all been there say stop long time ago yeah what um did you guys see that eric you know he's 23 23 rooms with frame He doesn't have 23 chromas Did you guys see that Eric Adams video? Yes What a weird dude

He's the New York man It's the weirdest It's like searching the kids room for stuff Yeah And the kid rocked You can look in a jewelry box A jewelry box of this nature Maybe a simple jewelry box But if you look through it closely,

you don't know what your child may be hiding. Oh, this is weird, dude. A gun. Look at the picture frame behind him. Cameras. Try to determine what's taking place. Behind the picture frame, you can find bullets. You should always, when your child brings in his popular knapsack,

but many different locations. His popular knapsack? Look through it to see what exactly when your child brings in his popular knapsack, but many different locations. His popular knapsack? Look through it to see what exactly is your child carrying in addition to a book. Something simple as a crack pipe. Something simple as a baby doll. Holy shit. Could be just a baby doll, but also it could be a place where you could secrete or hide drugs. Secrete?

Watch this one. Secrete drugs. If you feel anything that's unusual, like a pillow like this with a button, is a perfect invitation to hide something. I've felt something bumpy. I will reach in, see what it is. Just look at Scott. It can be more than just books.

It's a perfect place to hide a cocaine. This can't be real. It's real. It's old. This has the exact opposite intended effect. The parents are like, the kids are all like, oh. This show's awesome. I should hide my gun in my pillow.

It's a great place to hide my kilo of pure cocaine. I didn't think about that. Fuck, let this narc in my room. Yeah, that gun in the pillow. That was a big gun. Yeah. Right in the pillow. Right in the pillow. was a big gun yeah right in the pillow right in the pillow

something as simple as a crack pipe now here's a fun story popular knapsack allegedly someone I know very well was cleaning out a storage container

two days ago in northern Colorado and they were looking for their wife's stethoscope again allegedly someone I know and they found a shotgun in there

and they have no idea where it came from oh and this was a locked storage container that someone I know, and they found a shotgun in there and they have no idea where it came from. Oh. And this was a locked storage container that someone I know loaded by hand six months ago. The wife's stethoscope. Yeah. Huh. Now, me being married to a doctor, this is very upsetting stuff.

Yeah. I'm wondering how to avoid this if it's ever happened to you. Right, yeah. What would they do, this person I know, if they found a shotgun in a pod in northern Colorado? You have no idea where it came from? I don't know where this person would think it came from. That's fucking wild. Was it loaded?

This person I don't think checked it. You didn't check. The person didn't check. I would like run away. Yeah, did the shotgun, did this person find the shotgun? Was it amongst his other stuff? It was, I think, in a giant sock. That would have been a big sock.

It was in one sock, and then there was another sock on top of it. That's a stock? I heard. That's not a sock. Well, it was, like, a tube sock, and then another one. You need to call your buddy to double check? I should probably text my buddy. Did this person ask their wife that is a doctor maybe if they had a shotgun?

I heard this person had a very serious conversation with their wife, and both of them were pointing fingers back and forth. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. They're not pointing shotguns. Right. It was a very awkward car ride home, I heard.

Oh. Yeah. That's fucking wild. Did they find the stethoscope? I think they did. Yes. Wow. What did they do with said shotgun?

I don't... They just shut the pod, I think. Oh, that feels like a future person's problem. That shotgun will probably not disappear. I would hope for their case your buddy touch it uh yeah for sure yeah when your friend finds a gun you gotta brandish it in the parking lot yeah you point it in the sun and dare to cry yeah uh-huh that was i think your first

mistake was getting a storage container nothing good happens not me, but this person that I'm Deeply I know very well. Yeah, yeah See him every day. It's like looking in a mirror Yeah, was it a box of medical supplies or was it just the stethoscope and a shotgun was a giant pod I packed with all of the things that they I think they own Yeah Interesting stuff. I went through a phase of smoking weed in a storage container.

There you go. Once after college, yeah. Did you buy the storage container? We all split it. That's awesome. That's really cool. That's mine, that, yeah. Go smoke in there.

Yeah, that's a good idea. So all the buddies out there, you need a place to smoke. Was that the Storage Wars show that wasn't fake, was it? I hope not. I'm sure it wasn't. No. They were all fake. They found awesome stuff.

I loved that show. Was that the Yup guy? Yeah. Yup. Yeah, I liked him. There was the guy that wore the skull gloves. Yeah. Or bones gloves.

Yeah. There was a couple. It was a perfect cast of characters. Yeah. I really hope that wasn't. You fall for all those shows. All of them. I believe in all the fake reality shows.

You love magic. It makes sense you like those. Yeah. You didn't want to see how the trick was performed. Yeah, no, I don't. I don't want it ruined. But yeah, the Repo Man shows, those were the best. What was it?

Like Lot Lizard's Repo or whatever? That one was as fake as possible. Yeah, I don't see it. I found that out a couple years after. No, when they ran over that woman and she fell out of the parking garage. Yeah, that was real. Michael Jackson? Yeah, that was real.

I thought it was incredible TV. It is. How did they get that on TV? I was obsessed with all the VH1 dating shows. Yes. Real Chance of Love. I love New York. Yeah.

New York was great And Pumpkin Oh yeah cause those were It was like that YouTube channel for those dirty perverts Yeah Those were some great shows Oh yeah Orange County Choppers

Which is I said this on Probably a couple months ago, but that's upstate New York. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, you have? Yeah, you can just go.

People are very upset that I said that because they think Orange County, they think California. Those guys are just New Yorkers. They're New York guys? Yeah. You can just go and watch them work. Well, maybe not anymore, but they have like a whole showroom with a store with all the bikes in it, the Yankees bike, the fire bike,

and then in the back there's just like a porthole where you can look into the workshop. And I saw Paul Sr. just hanging out basically. God damn. I want to go to the Pawn Stars Pawn Shop when we're in Vegas. Oh, is it still? I don't think they're actually ever there. No. What?

I think that it's an active store. And then when they have something cool enough, they film like 50 segments in one day and they show up for like two hours. Is Chumlee still alive? He can't be in Vegas because of the act of warrants. Oh, really? Allegedly. Who knows?

I saw Chumlee at a sports card convention. It's like seeing a Yeti in the fucking wild. He's a real guy. He's a sneaker. He lost a lot of weight. Did he? Yeah. That was a mistake.

Yeah, because if you lose enough weight, then he has a lisp. And you realize he has a lisp guy. Is that true? Yeah. When I lived in Vegas, he went to my gym, and he would wear sunglasses while squatting. I love that. That rocks. Sick brag, you went to the gym.

Yeah, I did. You gotta be a dude to wear sunglasses. Damn! Oh, Chumlee. And he's got a lisp? Yeah, but you didn't know he had a lisp? Fat was his identifier, and then you were like, okay. And he's got a lisp. Oh, it was Chun-Li from Fart. But you didn't know he had a lisp because he's fat. Fat was his identifier, and then you were like, fuck, wait, he has a lisp? He's got really bad fake teeth, too. Oh, that might be part of the lisp.

He just has fat guy head forever. Yeah. Which is tough when you lose all the weight. Wait, can we hear him? He's kind of racially ambiguous. Let's open up the pack right now. He's eating the gum Oh I guess he doesn't have a lisp No he has like fat tongue

Yeah Tongue doesn't fit in it's house They'd have to cut it out You gotta be careful of that That's why I'll never lose weight You don't need to lose weight Some people just Like It's an odd phenomenon when a very fat person loses a ton of weight you could still

tell it's an aura of fat around them jonah hill yeah yeah he's so vulnerable some people that just got it jonah hill's got it it's like fat personality yep yeah yeah yeah yeah Mook yeah yeah alright I started winning time I didn't know Jerry West is just

the worst dude ever yeah he's a prickly prickly pear he didn't like the way he was I was I hope not

he fell into the trap that was horrible they made him look like an asshole and then he got really upset complained about it look like an asshole, and then he got really upset. Complained about it, yeah, to an asshole level. They made him look horrible.

No, but he's a well-known, like, not a great dude. Nah, he's just a country guy. West Virginia legend. You got to understand him. West Virginia. I'm glad none of us were on that show. Yeah. What did you think about the Rambus portrayal?

Not great, right? How far did you get in the auditions? I was told it was me and another guy. Damn it. The other guy got it. Because you, I saw. But I don't know how many people they told that to. Like, I weirdly followed some guy who was one of the extras,

and he posted that he was trying out for it, because it was a prerequisite you had to have played basketball. Yeah, they cared more about your basketball ability than your acting ability. So that might have been what doomed me. Where do you play ball? I practiced at Ohio State for four years. They let me play every so often.

Nine points. There's a comic in Colorado Springs who secretly played basketball at Dayton or Toledo. Oh, really? And we have a big charity basketball game every year, and it's just fun. It's like 12 to 4 is the typical scores. But then this guy came off the bench and was slam dunking. I'd never seen anyone touch the rim in these games, and it totally ruined the vibe.

Yeah. It was just like, oh, this guy's a ringer. I just does that. Yeah. I played one pick. I brought shoes to play today. Yeah. It was just like, oh, this guy is a ringer. I just does that. Yeah. I played one pick. I brought shoes to play today. Yeah, you played today. No, I think you're actually –

I'm not going to – I've said, because people asked when we played pick up like two weeks ago, like how good is Ty's, like he's really good, but he's not a dick about it. Right. Because, like, if you wanted to, you probably could score every single – Well, it's hard because I – yeah, I don't want to. I'm literally there just to get cardio.

That's the only thing I care about. But also, I do realize that if I don't score, all of you are going to be like, damn, you kind of fucking sucked. And then there's also the guys I'm playing with are giving me the ball, and they're like, please. Because we all get gassed so fast. So it's like, please, for the love of God, you shoot it. Don't let me shoot it. That is the, that your in your pickup game who you're like okay dude like we're tired you're gonna have to score please score points yeah

that guy rules yeah but then i feel like i'm the guy who shot nine straight possessions let's get some other guys no i didn't think you were that way at all but you know and then the comes down to it's it's a tie game and we're playing to 12 or something it's 10 10 then it's like all right well yeah fuck it i'm gonna try to win i don't know i don't think you were a dick about it that's the funny thing about being an offensive lineman in high school because you never get to show your athletic prowess unless you're like a door guy you know ever yeah yeah it's it's it doesn't really translate to adult pickup sports yeah you could have been the uh the the guard for the judge that got. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Saw that clip. Wait, I want to see that clip. I saw it. The guy dove over the bench. He just got sentenced? Yeah. For domestic violence. Fuck it.

You might as well have. Yeah, I think he literally said, fuck you, bitch. Right. I think you can hear him say, fuck you, bitch, and then took off running. Wait, if you get a life sentence, you should beat up the judge. And then he hit her with the frog. Oh, my God. Holy shit. I mean.

And then you see, like, the. Oh. Well, in the very beginning, you see the guy that misses him. Uh-huh. And, yep. Well, no, he kind of went the wrong direction. He kind of. It feels like he didn't want to be a hero,

and then he realized he had to be a hero. The first guy had a bad angle, yeah. Yeah, that's like watching a third wide receiver block yeah yeah just diving for him that's a great way to go out though i know oh yeah fucking doesn't help the the next hearing well also the thought that you are a domestic abuser when you go full tackle to a woman. I wasn't guilty. I never hit a woman. Now watch this. When he shows up to jail, though, there's like Pop-Tarts waiting in his cell. Like he's everyone's favorite.

Yeah. He went against the man. Right. Or woman in this case. The judge was a woman. She was. Somehow. I don't want to victim blame, but when we watched it with audio.

She was a little sassy. She was a little sassy. She was a little sassy. Wait, we have the whole. They beat the shit out of this guy after. Wait, can we see it? Yeah. She was a little catty. Old clip?

Oh, yeah. What happened with the guy who did it? I want to see the proceeding and yeah. Yeah, because that is a great moment where you can just get free shots into a guy. And there is a guy who you can tell has never thrown a punch who goes from throwing these very limp punches to then hammer fisting his kidneys. And you just see him work out every bit of aggression that he's ever had.

He slowly learns how to do probation successfully and he can get himself a job. I appreciate that, but I think it's time that he get a taste of something else because I just can't with that history. In accordance with the laws of state of Nevada, this court is...

They pull him into the right corner here and they just throw hammers on a guy who is in hand. So that judge was correct. Right. Right. And then you see Kyle Rittenhouse trying to help. What is this old guy doing? Not helping.

Oh, my God. Oh. Yeah. There he is. There he is. And then here's the hammer. Oh, you can't really. Yeah.

Yeah. You're like, no, this is how I punch. Uh-huh. I studied the breakdown of that. Oh. Yeah, that judge nailed it. He's not safe to be out there. Yeah, she's a good judge.

Good judge. All right, Sam, you want to do the Yak Challenge? Yeah, more than anything. I want to be demoralized in front of everybody. No, look at the list. You'll beat Cam Newton. What? You'll almost certainly beat Cam Newton.

And Brandon Marshall. And Brandon Marshall. And Brandon Marshall. Yeah. The competition is not wearing cool hats then. No, it's not. Cam's got me beating that. Brandon Marshall, Broncos legend. Uh-huh.

Yeah. The Broncos fans have a history with Cam Newton. Edelman. Who's your second favorite tight end in Broncos history? Second favorite tight end. Chet Sharp being number one? Of course. We had a guy. what was his name?

He was one of those guys that was pretty much a sixth offensive lineman. I think he was number 89 back during the Bronco, the Super Bowl era. Okay, what about in the last 15 years? I really liked fucking Dolchich a lot, dude. We got our hopes up for him heavy. What about Tony Scheffler? Scheffler was great. Okay, good.

I mean, Orange Julius? Oh, yeah, Julius Scheffler was great. Okay, good. I mean, Orange Julius? Oh, yeah, Julius Thomas. He was great. The issue with the tight end position over there, McCaffrey was not a tight end. Yeah, idiot. Yeah, McCaffrey was great, though. And also— Slot receiver.

Yeah. That McCaffrey was a slot receiver? Yeah. Very solid, like, third option. You could see—I could see how you'd think tight end. What did he wear, 87? But he caught a lot of tight end type balls. But he was a receiver.

His boy went to high school the town over from me. He's from Douglas County. His boy beat Christian McCaffrey? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys might have heard of him. Owen Daniels was a receiver on go? Owen Daniels was a Texan. Mostly? No, he was a Texan. And then I want to say he was a Raven, but I also might be confusing Todd Heap. No, I think...

Todd Heap was never. Oh, he was both, Bronco and Raven. Wow. Nailed it. Look at us. Howard Griffiths. Yeah, he went to Wisconsin. He was there when I was there.

Great fullback. The fullback position really had a renaissance in Denver for a while. C.J. Anderson's head shots always made me laugh. Big ass neck. Oh my god. Orlando's scary. He ruled. Yep, he was solid. When you guys just had after Trell Davis, you're just like, we could just do this

with everyone. Yeah, because our offensive line innovating the zone running scheme. Right. And you did do it with everyone for a little bit there, Mike Anderson. Mike Anderson, who was like a Navy guy who barely ever played football. Wow, high salute. Yeah. Well, TD.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mike Anderson, actually, like that wasn't stealing ballot. Right. Yeah. TD was kind of like, what are you doing? He was a celebrated veteran. Yeah.

I never thought of that. Yeah. Uh-huh. God, Broncos, what are we doing i know it wasn't that bad it was uh what is what is the vibe of john elway in the city he's beloved but the big question well so elway owns elway's restaurant yeah of course still okay he could because i'm always on a child and everyone be like good aim elway because i'm always curious of like the guys who like stay too long and then like it goes bad, and then you've got bad memories.

But I guess he won the Super Bowl. He was the architect of that Super Bowl with Peyton. Yeah, but he owns this restaurant, and he's very well-known because I have a lot of friends who've worked there, where he'll, like, no one can leave until he gets a pack of Marlboro Reds. He'll play pool and drink scotch all night, and he's like, I want a cigarette. And then someone has to go out and get him a pack of smokes. I like that. And then no one can leave the restaurant until he hasboro Reds. He'll be like, play pool and drink scotch all night. And he's like, I want a cigarette. And then someone has to go out and get him a pack of smoke.

I like that. And then no one can leave the restaurant until he has his cigs. I love John Elway. Like, legend. Stayed in the city. Steakhouses. Has a shithead son. Right.

Oh, yeah. It's the perfect quarterback arc. Speaking of colostomy bags, Elway left his wife as soon as she had the bag installed. No way. Oh, my God. I don't know if he's the best guy, but here's the question. Who has a bigger impact on Denver sports now? Is it Joker or is it Elway?

Because Joker's arguably the best of all time. Yeah, but football is king. Tell me if I'm wrong. Denver is football. Correct, yes. Denver is a football town. Right. And then kind of arguably hockey number two

because the Nuggets have been such a debacle for so long. But now that the Nuggets are in rarefied air, the whole city has jumped on that bandwagon. Yeah, Nuggets are good. Nuggets are... Jokic is the best. He's the best. That shot, he hit a game winner last night.

He's missed five shots in his last four games. That's insane. Yeah. I only see clips of him not giving a shit about bass of course because the league won't get behind him the league will not put him in a fucking commercial he just got a shoe in china finally like it's it's so embarrassing that they won't let jokic be the fucking face of the league but does he want yeah that's what i'm saying doesn't matter the league should get behind him yeah he's the best he is the best yeah maybe to ever play the game and he gets just

every single game what do you think about this rambus way in no i'm still i'm still trying to make sense of ed mccaffrey not being like six six yeah and he was fucking jacked right and yeah and he had the worst honey everything about him is a tight end. You could see how. Yeah, no, like I said. He was a blocker, right? Ed McCaffrey was a receiver. He just found this out. No, we were saying Broncos tight ends, and then I said that Ed McCaffrey. 6'5", 250.

He made millions of dollars. I understand what you're saying because he caught a lot of tight end type of passes. He ran the three-yard slant better than anyone. He has a tight end body. He's a blocker. yard slant better than anyone. He has a tight end body. He's a blocker. He wasn't a blocker. He did block. Say white.

I'm saying he was a good blocker. He didn't have a tight end body. No. He was skinny. He was long and lean. He's jacked up. Okay. I need to.

Okay. Watch it. Can we put on Ed McCaffrey highlight? We cannot. Oh, we can't. The arms that are. No, I think you're thinking of somebody else. You're thinking of Romanowski?

That's a linebacker. Look at him. Those aren't big arms. He's not – that's a 20-24 tight end. Oh, that's tight. That's tight end-y. No, but that's not a tight end back in the day. Look at that.

Okay, that one. Because back in the day, the tight ends were all like offensive linemen. Yeah, they were all 290. No, I know I'm wrong. I'm just saying, like, I don't think remembering Ed McCaffrey is a tight end. This is your Mandela effect. Yeah, I got Mandela. Like, I know I'm wrong.

I was just like. But you're not. He's wide as fuck, though. No, I'm saying, like, remembering as a tight end. He sure is. He looks like Brock Purdy's dad. Oh. What?

You know Brock Purdy's dad? He looks like he would be Brock Purdy's dad. Oh. What? Do you know Brock Purdy's dad? He looks like he would be Brock Purdy's dad. Oh. Close. Yeah. Shockingly close. About three yards. Yeah.

Regarded as one of the best blocking wide receivers of all time. Sure, I think that's a fair statement. Yeah. But he still, like, would catch six passes a game. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. You're not insane, but he just wasn't a tie down. He's a fair statement but he still like would catch six passes right right right you're not insane but he just wasn't a tight end I think honestly he's got huge arms at 6'5 this is racist

I think what you're where your brain is having a disconnect is Ed McCaffrey if he came out of college today would be a tight end most likely because the tight end position has gotten a lot skinnier it's been hybridized it's more pass catching a lot of teams have a blocking tight end and a the tight end position has gotten a lot skinnier it's more pass catching

like a lot of teams have a blocking tight end and a catching tight end so maybe that's, you're just ahead of your time that might be it you saw the future of football that guy should be lining up he's playing the wrong position to the tackle

yeah you saw the future, good for you fuck me, I don't even remember what the good good for you all right fuck me i don't even remember what the question was why you threw it to me all right so sam yes all right challenge okay uh your first thing you got to do is you got to get one bag in uh the cornhole board okay okay and then you're going to run hey set it up malicek set it up then you're going to run and you have there's three balls and you have to score a goal on Malasek, who's actually a really good goalie and a motherfucker. Okay.

Actually, you know what? Just someone, Brandon, why don't you do it before him? Or spin the wheel, TJ. Someone will do it. Someone will do it. Do I have to do it for speed, or just? No, do it for speed. Let's have, yeah, let's give somebody at least a shot.

Yeah, yeah, spin the wheel. Let's have someone do it. So you can see them all. So it for speed. Let's have somebody at least a shot. Yeah, yeah. Spin the wheel. Let's have someone do it. So you can see them all. So it's soccer. You take those three shots. Once you've taken those three shots, Sam, you can shoot from anywhere. Okay. And then you have to hit a home run with the wiffle ball bat.

Okay. And then you have to throw the football and hit off one of those body armor bottles. You see that on the table? You have to directly hit it so it can't hit like a bounce off. Okay. You know, you can't hit the table. Can I chest pass it? Yeah.

People have. No. Then you go three-pointer, three-pointer. So you shoot a three-pointer on this side, and then you move the cart, and you shoot another three-pointer. Got to hit one of each. All right. Then you sit down, and you have to get ten answers correct on the sporkle

that will be on the screen. General trivia. All right. So let's spin the wheel have to get 10 answers correct on the sporkle that will be on the screen. General trivia. All right. So let's spin the wheel and have someone go just to show you and then you'll be able to do it. Interesting. We haven't done it in a while. First one of the year. Titus.

Let's go, Titus. Let's go, Titus. Did Stavros do this? No, he politely declined. All right. Yeah, he said, I'm going to work out and come back. Antoine Walker also declined. Yes.

What? Yeah. Why? It's like a lose-lose, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. It's all right. Yeah, it's a lot. I need a second for the football. Oh, yeah, the football.

The football is my nemesis. First gauntlet of the year. Do we got the bat? Yeah, it's on top of the right. Oh, it's over behind the tree? It's on top of the right. Where? I'll put it on the floor by the time you get there.

It's on the top of the right. On the left ball. Oh, I see. Bat angle. Bat angle. I hope so. I hope so. Y'all ready? Yes. I'm so. I hope so. Y'all ready?

Yes. I'm ready. All right. Three, two, one, go. Oh, no. It's over. That's a wrap. Oh, boy.

That's a wrap. Oh, there we go. All right, Malicek. He's going lefty. Oh. Oh. Oh! You can't do that! You can't do that! Oh! Oh! Got it! Wiffle ball. No. Big swing. Big cut.

No. Gone. Yes. No. This is the hardest part, Sam. The football. Nice. Got it. Good time.

Good time. Just past a minute. This would be embarrassing if he doesn't hit these. What are these new camera angles? Wet. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, he switched to time.

Oh, man. Short. Oh, he's wasting time. Oh, man. Short. Oh, boy. Oh, jeez. This is sad. Thud. Oh, no. He's going to beat Pat Bev, though.

Oh, no. Yes. All right. That is Sporkle. Donald Trump? Trump. So you just got to get 10 answers. It could be from any of the categories, Sam.

Six tall. Two NFL teams with compound words. Crosby. McDavid. McDavid. Oh, jeez. There we go. How is trump not the former president five stage names the ice spice of the spice girls uh fuck i don't remember uh scary spice yeah yeah uh god's plan nope that's not a spice girl oh Spice Girl. Oh. Sweden.

Nuts. Big Mac. Nine most followed Instagram. SWE. Denmark. French fries. Four more. One former.

Posh Spice. Oh, Oh wait he got the former president In the wrestling hall of fame Yeah how was that not true Yeah he didn't Oh he didn't It's not the pro wrestling hall of fame Not the pro wrestling hall of fame Oh okay yeah

Oh it's That makes total sense Um Uh Followed Instagram accounts Most followed Fucking Seven types of nuts

And mixed nuts That should be easy Almonds There we go Walnuts Yeah Peanuts Yeah

Bang Time There she is Not bad That improved my time Abraham Lincoln Is in the wrestling Hall of Fame

Oh Oh Donald Trump Is in the WWE Hall of Fame Wow That was intentionally Tricky Anyone have any Shorts lying around I don't I do Oh. Oh. Donald Trump is in the WWE Hall of Fame. Wow. What are you? Basketball shorts? That was intentionally tricky.

Anyone have any shorts lying around? I don't. I do. Do you have any shorts? TJ? I do. They're in my backpack in the Mostly Sports studio. I think he's going to be good.

Ike's going to be good, too. Get him shorts. Oh, man. I got the football. I figured it out. Throw it sideways. Is that what you did? I turned it sideways.

Oh, yeah, bigger surface. You beat your last time. Oh, yeah. Oh, tightest basketballer. Did I beat my last time? There we go. Basketball, I missed the exact same way every shot. I hit the same part of the rim.

That was nice. Now, imagine doing that from the nba three line if you will who was the president i missed that abraham lincoln he was in the amateur like my wrestler he was a sick wrestler oh i don't think so all right let's go sam you got this sam that was a misdirection on shorts uh Sam, you want shorts? I got you. Let's get some shorts on. I like he's taking this seriously. TJ.

Rutgers guy. That's correct. First football country in America. I think they'd be better. I mean. Well, you I think they'd be better I mean Alright Well you'd think they would be better If they They're the best team of like

The pre-colonial ones No Oh Michigan Princeton They only claim one national championship And it's the first one Michigan is pre-colonial

What's colonial? Before the colonies Like A school that existed before. Before 1776. Oh. Yeah. I didn't understand what you were saying.

Sorry. I didn't know what that meant either. Yeah, I don't know. That's my bad. I think Harvard and Yale. All the Ivy Leagues, I think. Yeah, they played football for a long ass time. Michigan's very funny. If you ever want to go down a rabbit-ass time. Michigan's very funny.

If you ever want to go down a rabbit hole, look up Michigan's schedule from, like, 1900. They, like, they would invite people to come. They would teach people how to play football, and then they'd kill them. Oh, that's how it went. They counted on their record, right? Like, every year they'd have a game against, like, it'd be, like, physicians and doctors.

That was the name of the team. Oh, wow. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you get to be the most winningest program in college sports. I had no idea. Yeah.

What was their get-up like? They had the winged helmets, I believe, and they just wore a bunch of leather. A lot of leather, right? A lot of brown. Football was really gay. Mm-hmm. They're just wearing leather and just wrestling and not really knowing the rules.

I got to see that. Look at footage. Yeah, just get high and look at old 1900s games. Okay. Sam, you ready? All right, here we go. Three, two, one, go. Oh, go, go, go.

Oh, soccer, soccer. Oh, boy! Soccer, soccer. Oh, boy. Uh-oh. What the fuck? Jake, fuck you, Jake. Jake is such a fuck. What was that? Okay.

Line. Boom. That's a home run. Fuck. I might be in trouble. He's popping off right now. Did it hit or no? No, it hit the table, I think.

Oh, he didn't know he had to get his own balls. Oh. Come on, Sam. He's still in the fun stage where... That hit. That hit. Shot. Yep.

Under a minute. Three-pointer. Dece. He's got that big man stroke. What? He might not get this. You know what I'm talking about Not a lost cause yet Uh oh

Yeah we're getting there I think he might be a lost cause Is he real though? No I don't think he's real No chance of being real His score will be alright I think this might take a while On this

Yeah He did say a little more say he played in the paint there he goes oh he's fine watch out he's good he's good malicek letting our sit right here sit right here sit right here we'll help you get we'll help guide you a little bit nine teams in mlb nba nhl nfl that don't end with s you don't have to do that i'm just helping you read a couple of these popular acronyms eight jewish holidays three actresses to play charlie's angels in 2000 four main shop staff and pawn starsars. Chumlee. No man. Rick. Arthur for five.

Hanukkah. Rosh Hashanah. Eid. No, that's. Oh, Scandinavia. Sweden. Norway. Denmark. Estonia. Oh, shit oh shit yeah just get it get get them

going on yeah yeah oh that was that was three sweden what was that two more norway one more norway great time 37 oh it's great 337 40 incredible that was great how do you feel i feel great uh top of the key was never my position. Yeah. I'm good from 12 feet, but up top, not for me. More of a corner assassin, but pretty happy with how it went all around. Yeah. That was impressive.

Yeah. Thought I was going to do better on the trivia. I thought I was going to be quicker on that. That bag was lucky, as was that shot over there. Yeah. Oh, you beat Brandon Marshall. You just beat Brandon Marshall by two seconds. Oh, no.

Yes. I never say this, but let's go. Yeah, let's fucking go. Oh. Sixth highest time of all time. Damn, that's so exciting, guys. Sixth highest time. I thought I was going to be made a complete fool of.

Oh, you crushed that. Wow. That's great. Hey, goalie man, did you allow that to happen? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You got him with that. Goalie man. That's great. Hey, goalie man, did you allow that to happen? Yeah. You got him with that. That was a goalie man. Who could have seen that coming?

I want to thank the pride of Starkville right there for walking me through it. All right? You were a great coach. Malasek, how did he get you? He kicked it. He kicked in the yellow one, and I just thought he was so nice that I was waiting for him to kick the yellow one and kick the white one. Here's what Malasek said.

Malasek said he was too charming. He fooled me. All it takes is some charm? You hit it in 126? Yeah, it was a dream. Who watched that? Who was here? We were all watching that.

Wow. It was a perfect run. That's nuts. Yeah. Fourth on the individual leaderboard. Top ten? Fourth. That's a hell of a performance.

Very good. I also got a lucky sporkle. There's some sporkles you can get where it's like name the entire NFC East. Yeah. Or, you know, shit like that. I got a free one on there with the Faroe Islands. I didn't see the Faroe Islands. You got three.

Yeah. That counts. It's a three for one, yeah. Oh, wow. Three for one. That's great. We had a random dude come in, and he got done with this in 45 seconds. What?

He came in here, and it took five minutes. Wow. He could name a dog. Yeah, two phones Brett. Two phones Brett. I could have been more wet with it up top, so that was tough. Same, brother. Yeah.

Same. I know. That'll happen sometimes. Hitting that first bag was a great way to start. That set a good precedent. It was nice. From there, I was just kind of seeing through time and space. The football, I thought it would be easier.

Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't get – we've seen people do like 15 throws. I think you need a more solid table because the issue with that setup right there is if you hit the table, they all fall over, and then it's kind of on you to reset up. Well, that's the setup, though. Yeah. Okay. So it's going to –

We're locked in. Yeah, we made this challenge on a whim on a friday and we'll never change guys that is good old-fashioned fun yeah no golly yeah yeah it has the energy of like when you're in your friend's basement yes set up all the bullshit yeah yeah yeah and it's great to end with someone just out of breath being like ice spice scary spice yeah french fries just random has anyone been hung up by the trivia oh yeah that was two phones bread

literally five minutes I think it was countries with the most gold medals and we were just screaming at him Hitler and he couldn't get it and he kept screaming Hitler yeah he was like top ten most popular dog breeds he couldn't get it. He kept screaming Hitler. Yeah, he was like, Adolf. Hitler? Eva.

Top 10 most popular dog breeds. He couldn't name one dog. Yeah. Golden Retriever. He couldn't get Golden Retriever or Labrador. Wow. Yeah. He said weird shit for that.

It would be fun to train for this and come back. Yeah. Yeah. Every time you're here, you're- You're top four right now. I was sub three, right? Oh, yeah. Okay.

You're a very positive yak guest because we've had a wild, there's been some non-positive moments. Guys, this is so much fun. And it's just so nice to be folded into this legendary institution of Barstool, you know? Because allegedly, I have this show hopefully coming out in the next year on the platform. And I've been such a longtime admirer of Juan Tondon wanton don oh yeah i was on his shit early dude and he really like i said this before when i did a kfc show but just like that fire he lit of like travel you don't have to be this culturally worldly person you can just like go see and experience and the way that he does it was like

it was like a bourdain that i could identify with yeah yeah yeah his content is some of the best great online he should be great it's a matter of time i know so a little teaser there just be That I could identify with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His content is some of the best. Great. Online. He should be so much bigger. It's a matter of time. I know. So a little teaser there. Just be ready. A little teaser.

Yeah. Or Sam. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did say you wrestled in high school. Have you thought about maybe a wrestling podcast at Barstool?

Are you open to that? I do. I did not identify as a wrestler. But would you be open to it? Do you mean like the professional wrestling yeah yeah of course okay nice i'm always open for a big bag of money let's go yeah we made it so fucking far so far into the show before you did that yeah not you not you oh what him did what well I didn't agree to do it. I had a wrestling podcast that they took away. Oh, no.

And he likes to dig at me. Well, it's yours now. You're right. Yeah. I mean, I would want to take it back to the territory days. I've done that. Have you seen Iron Claw yet, bro? Of course. I cried.

Dude, I wept. I was weeping. That piece of shit in there, Stephen Chay did not cry. What's the matter with you? It's a robot. There was one cryable moment in that. Get-solve in that big, healthy chest. Dude, I left there, and then I went to meet my dad's new girlfriend, and I

showed up and was like, Dad, I was just crying for the last two hours. Oh my God, the Von Eriks. Oh, hi, Beth. Nice to meet you. Heard a lot of good stuff. Just like, eyes red. I left there and went to my dad's grave. Dude! What? That's beautiful. I visited a grave last time I was here. Damn, Brandon. Yeah, I don't want to cut you off on that, but I've been to last time I was here. Damn, Brandon.

Yeah, I don't want to cut you off on that, but I've been to graves in Mississippi myself. Really? Which ones? I went to Larry Brown's grave. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of the best authors of all time. I went to his grave and I cried. The Miracle of Catfish or something.

He did write The Miracle of Catfish. Yeah. Yeah. And Joe and Father and Son, but I blew weed smoke on his grave. You think he would have liked that? The 04 Pistons, too, right? That's right. Yeah. Look, Brandonon that was a nice moment yeah born from it was fun my grandfather's my grandfather's from como so i spent a lot of time como's in the delta right it's up north it's

like 45 minutes south of memphis okay yeah not in the delta it's not but that's in the delta i thought i always thought the delta was down below no that's in the delta almost certainly in the delta okay so that's up north yeah. Como's almost certainly in the Delta. Okay, so that's up north? Yeah, I think. I don't know where Como is. I'm just going to be honest. It's right below if you take the highway out of Memphis and drive 45 minutes.

It's right there. I'm so jazzed on how well that went. That was awesome. I was prepared to be a sweating, wet mess. And not only did you beat Brandon Marshall, but you beat him by a little bit, which means you're probably going to be right next, one spot above him on the leaderboard forever. So, like, every time we pull it up, it's going to be your name, Brandon Marshall.

It's an honor to serve with Brandon Marshall. Kyle Long. Yeah. Kyle Long, who's a big fan of mine. He's the man. He's got great taste in comedy. Yeah. Shit, what a great time's got great taste in comedy. Yeah. Shit, what a great time.

What did Edelman get? Edelman? He was in the three. Yeah, the basketball. Heard him. Heard him. No, you crushed. Also, you crushed the soccer, which nobody ever crushes.

Yeah. Well, that was a little bit of a mind game. Well, that plays. I thought I was going for the yellow one. Because having to round up those balls, that would have been tough. Also making that first bag, unprecedented. I've never nailed it like that. And if you miss it, no matter how your first miss goes, we all say, oh, no.

You avoided that. Were you all disappointed in that? A little bit. Because we like to just get in people's heads when they miss one. You wouldn't have not been able to achieve any kind of mind warfare with me. Because I was was locked in yeah Yeah, I could tell you were in flow so it was I put on shorts you put on shorts on shorts Check out my nubbin everyone. They got their black shorts. Yeah, you can't see the seam in my bag

I'm gonna fucking go box this guy Two days are numbered. TJ, you want to spin our wheel? This is a great yak. Yeah, this is great. Everyone go check out Sam's special, by the way. It's on Matt and Shane's secret podcast YouTube channel. The links are around. Oh, the links to the chat? Nice.

Links in the chat and the description. Nice. Love that. Look at that. Thank you, guys. What does this wheel signify? Oh, I know. Oh, fuck.

Oh, no, this is good. Okay. Yeah, there we. Oh, fuck. Oh, no, this is good. Oh, yeah. Alright. Titus had to put his dick in a mousetrap yesterday. That's what the wheel does. He's got to. It's the only time, it's the only rush he can get anymore. Right on the shaft.

These are still plugging Wizard of Swords. That's good. Oh, yeah, there it is. Yeah, Wizard of Swords. Yeah. Feels like two days ago was the uh was his suitcase opening up as he walked out a joke i don't know because that's a little cliche oh we're good nice so you don't have to get wet okay you would have maybe had to take a shower i would love to take a shower with fully clothed shower and then come back in here yeah look guys i like a good old-fashioned horseplay.

That's the name of this game. Post me down. Yeah, yeah. Goof ballery. Yeah, we goof. Yeah. We goof a lot. Hijinks.

I have that trivia. I have the Jeopardy app on my phone. I'm not allowed to play it anymore around my wife. It's like it's so fucking mad. I got to get that. Dude, it sucks. And then they monetize it. Like if you want to play more anymore around my wife it's like it's so fucking mad I got to get that dude it sucks and then they monetize it like if you want to play more games you have to I'd pay dude yes it is so fucking upsetting when you can't when you think you're right and you may lose to someone oh god are

you playing real people get real people fuck Kyle we'll see you in a couple weeks Kyle yeah he's gonna new addiction session like my morning is just games Kyle, we'll see you in a couple weeks, Kyle. New addiction. My morning is just games. The official joke. Tiny crossword, big crossword, connections. It's a blast. All the New York Times. I do every New York Times.

It does it now. I like to do the crosswords on Mondays and Tuesdays. I can do Wednesdays alone. I have to have a friend Thursday. Okay, Wednesday's tough. It's an experience thing. Thursdays is when they throw in the bullshit. I love solving the riddles.

Saturdays is very hard. Thursdays can fuck off. The Thursday crossword. Thursdays are bullshit. We live for that. They're rules. I have never done a crossword. They're addicting as fuck.

They are a lot of fun. I just get very frustrated. will shorts yeah now he's in sudokus yeah he moved over to sudokus i got my dad a big sudoku book for christmas he's loving it and shorts edited it shorts is like his brain is on another level also shout out to hokas i was about 320 out there still riding on these hokas feeling good love me some if i remember right will shorts is an indian university guy and he created his own major like when he went to school there of course he did he was like you guys don't offer what i want so i'm just gonna create it on my own and it was like cross made a crossword yeah it was like puzzle you did that at iu i think i might be fucking that up but i remember reading that one time and that's impressive because you can get away with that

shit like emerson easy he's the only person in the world to hold a degree was it was it indiana i guess it doesn't matter he's an enigmatologist being a puzzle master oh yeah indiana university hell i love the only person in the world to hold a degree yeah far and away my favorite game how do you pull that off though how are you how do you go to school and you're like nah man none of these programs i'm gonna be a puzzle master yeah and they're like all right that eyes are upsetting yeah oh wow he's got demon in there yeah and the teeth are he's really staring through us yeah yeah i don't like that. Let him live. I don't really, yeah, no, I don't want to, no, no, no. It's the, it's the,

hmm. Okay, well, sure. It's, it's, oh, he's,

yeah, he's got shiny teeth. Wow. Yeah. Looks like he made the Midwest Wrestling YouTube channel. You know a tough place

to do stand-up? Meridian, Mississippi. Meridian's a tough place to do a lot of things. Yeah. It's the catfish capital of the world,

right? I don't know all, all places in Mississippi claim that. Okay. There's like 30 towns. Oh, really?

I did a show in Meridian and it was very bad and then i went to columbus mississippi theater that fit 350 princess yeah yeah there were 12 people there yeah and i had to do an hour also sucks columbus was so bad yeah meridian columbus are the two worst towns in mississippi yeah best sushi i ever had in america was in jackson mississippi really where i don't know but this guy that i was on the road with knew the guy from Japan. He brought out a little thing of sesame seeds, and he was like, this is the trick. He would just a little dab of soy sauce, and then he'd dip in the sesame seed. He said it's a dirty secret. I think I'll have sushi today.

Yeah, you should. Sounded good. Belzoni? Yeah. That's the delta. That's the actual cause that's where all the ponds are

Meridian doesn't have the ponds so there's your Mississippi geography for the day Mississippi great state thank you yeah

that's really nice I'm not even lying and also Ocean Springs is a great cheap vacation beautiful place yeah it's right by it's right by New Orleans you can go to Pensacola

the next day you got Gulf Shores in between. All the casinos. Yeah. Casinos. Brandon, why don't we do a live show down there? I've been pitching that for you.

You should be way more appreciative of what he just said. I fucking love it. No way you've never heard. I just said thank you. Brandon, you should return the favor and go on his wrestling podcast. That would be nice. I think. First guest?

I think you should be the first guest. Let me have a moment. Let me have. We were having a nice? I think you should be the first guest. Let me have a moment. Let me have... We were having a nice moment. Thank you very much. Yeah. A lot of people don't say good things. They haven't been there.

Correct. They haven't fucking been there. Yep. You ever play a show in Starkville? I have not done Starkville. Okay. That's right about Columbus. I've done Proud Mary or Proud Larry's a lot in Oxford.

In Oxford, yeah. Ooh. Yep. Can I get you a show in Starkville? Let's go to Starkville. I'd gladly go to Starkville. So would you say Oxford's better than Starkville? Well, I haven't been to Starkville. But if you had to guess.

I would never say that because I'm not a clown. If you had to guess. Thank you. Right, guys? You had to guess. Yeah. No, I mean, I think that the literary history, I love the program there at Ole Miss. They pumped out so many great authors.

They've had some great authors. They have, yeah. Wow. You can't deny authors. They've had some great authors. They have. Wow. You can't deny that. William Faulkner. William Faulkner. John Grisham. Well, he went to Mississippi State first.

There's a great video online, if you do like novels, of Barry Hanna and Larry Brown doing a reading. Larry Brown is killing. He's crushing. And Barry Hanna thinks he's really cool. And he's trying to keep up. And Larry Brown's just chain-smoking and drinking scotch and murdering. You can see Barry Hanna being so jealous of him.

It's awesome. Well, I think I will watch that. I actually do like Larry Brown. You can watch the same thing when Rico does Healthy Debate and they ask him about Jerry. Heard some laughter from the box. Yeah, that's always good. That's a good gauge

uh all right good show everyone come see me come see me at mcgoobies come see me at governor samtalent.com are you sold out this weekend i am yeah i got 10 tickets for don donnie was like can you give me some tickets for the late show saturday okay i have a block reserved for any y'all who want to come in the 11 15. But samtalent.com. Buy those tickets. Great guest. You were a great guest. Thanks, man. Yes. There it is.

There it is. There's a special. Very proud of that. Subscribe. Thank you. Upvote it. Let's do it all. Yeah, get involved in the algorithm.

And Sam also said that he would be willing to do a case race with us. I would love to. I would crush a case race. Oh, my God, dude. Was it Miller Lite or Bud Lite? What is it? We're not allowed to say. Okay, well, if it's light beer, that thing's going to last a half hour.

Yes. I am dead serious. Yeah. I'll be off the top gunning three. Maybe you and Shane should just go head to head. I would rather be on his team and embarrass everyone else. Yeah. Yeah.

Shane also won't shotgun. He wants to chug out of a glass like a man. Like a baby without his beers. Well, pussy doesn't shotgun. I don't know. I was so upset. We hung out at Stanhope's for like four days, and I was like, let's gun one. And he's like, you drink out of a glass.

All right. Thank you, everyone. Please subscribe, upvote. See everyone Monday. Good first week of the year. Yeah. See everyone. Have Good first week of the year. Yeah. See everyone. Have a good weekend.

Have a good weekend. Go watch Sam's new special. Link's pinned in the chat. It's in the description, too. It's new special. Link's pinned in the chat. It's in the description, too. It's really good. We'll see you guys on Monday. Love you. Have a safe weekend. Love you.

Bye.