The Yak - Sam Tallent Joins The Show And Steven Cheah Debuts A New Impression: Tue Sep 22, 2026

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyakYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

Hey, YAC listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon music. One out of all of us? Hello, it's the yak. Welcome in Stellblucoffee.com. Go right now. Amazon, go buy it at Target.

Go buy it at Circle K. Go buy it at 7-Eleven. That helps a lot. Saving dogs, drinking really good coffee. We're running a sweepstakes right now. Can come watch ball with us on a Sunday. stole blue coffee.com. We have a very special guest today.

It is our good, good friend, Sam Talent, and he's got a new bookout. Today. Today, called Brute. Hey, thank you so much for having me, guys. What an awesome, is this a mat finish? Yeah, dude, they spend an extra three cents to get the grid on them.

There is some grit. Yeah. Do you know, I was thinking about this because Robert Salah, the coach for the Titans, he's got a really shiny bald head. Do you think they could do Matt bald heads? I think that's next up.

You would think that, yeah. They're doing that in Cyprus, like they're doing the hair surgery in Turkey. Yeah. Yeah. Cypress is mad. In real life, Robert Salah would have his head would be matte. Instead of shiny. I think he could change the finish.

Cypriots are? Well, it takes work to make it shiny, right? It's not naturally shiny. Well, it's sweat, right? No, I think it's like wax. I think they lube up, yeah. Like, if you have a really shiny head, you like keep that thing like a bowling ball. Like Odell's legs, he's been oiling them up?

They've been so. It was so shine. It was 195 degrees at the Titans game the other day. Dude. They keep going up. Yeah. That first Jags game was like 130 on the field. They keep doing it.

They said 157 on the field, which I don't know how that's possible. PFT made a good point. They were holding, like, when the Eagles were driving, the Titans' defensive players were, like, holding them on the ground to, like, run the clock. They were technically, like, Korean barbecue. They were. It's kind of fucked up. They were. Cook your own meat.

Yeah, extra sugar. Yeah. Did you see him spraying the cleats? Yeah. They were spraying him with Mirren. Yeah. But yeah, Sam's here. Go buy his book.

It's out now. It's out today. What a better place to it. This is incredible. It's a very novel. One of the fastest I've started and finished a book. Really? Yeah.

Wow, nice. Yeah. I mean, I'm a quick reader as is, too, man. So I'm the only thing he does quick. Yeah. Yeah, I ejaculate. Oh. But I did.

I thought I did what I made this book. Did you forget the pictures? No, they're in there. There's one of me. In the back, but like, I need, like, books need to have, like, You need the middle section of pictures? Yeah, yeah.

Out of a compromise, though, when it comes to the parts, you can see we put in a huge pages that say part one, part two, so that way you can tell where you are. That's huge. Almost biblical in its weight. Oh, yeah. Oh, I like that.

We did, for part of my book, we did quarters. Oh, you plugged yours already. Yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't have to. doing very well. I'm well aware. We're so stupid. We're like, here's quarters.

Dude, your book is causing a lot of stir in literary, like in the publishing houses of the world, not literature, but like, it's. There's no way. Oh, yeah. People are like, these animals will buy books? What are we doing? Yeah. We said they were unwashed and unworthy, but now they'll actually buy books.

Yeah, they're like confused because they wrote off an entire population. Right. But it's not, yeah, I mean, this is a real book. You wrote a real book. I mean, you sat down and wrote a real book. Your book is published between two hard-covered. No, no, no. But how long did it take you to write this?

I mean, like, probably 14 months, I think. And would you sit down and be like, I got to write? A thousand words a day. Or else I'm a pussy. I'd be mad at myself. That's awesome. So I'm going to try to read this. You should.

It's really good. It's about a hit man in Paris doing one last job. I said try. Yes. Pipe dream. Do you find the story along the way or through the 14 months? Or do you have to outline it before you sit down? Good question, Brandon.

Great question. Well, I'm very interested in the writing process. Because you're from the great literary state of Mississippi. Thank you very much. You're going to write a book? I'm interested in his process. I think you'd be damn good at it, Brandon. I think you would, too.

I'm interested in your process. So I, Random House published, they picked up my first book running the light. They reissued it, and then they were like, what do you want your second book to be? And I said, I always wanted to write a book about like a Larry Brown style, like man walking down the side of a road. No, but he's good, too. Yeah, yeah. Different guy, you know. They both ran the zone, though.

Okay. I remember that. Yeah. So I just want to write a book about a guy who's like on the side of the road, like doing scrap metal and like living in a car. And they were like, do you have anything else? That sounds boring. And I was like, well, I have like 30 pages about a hitman killing a guy with his gun barrel

because his gun jammed. And they were like, printed, baby. So I had those 30 pages. And then I had, you know, a contract to honor. And it was so easy to pump these out. And there's no like outline. It's real organic decisions. Like they get a pulled pork sandwich.

during that day because you would get that there. Like, I try not to like force stuff too much, you know, because then you can feel the author on it and it's all sweaty and gross. Sure, but when you sit down every day to write a thousand pages, or a thousand words, that'd be nuts. When you sit down to write a thousand words, yeah. Does every day, is every day its own adventure or like do you just have?

Do you know how it's going to end all right? What's tying it together? No, there's no ending. It's more like what's happening right now in these thousand words. And it's like maybe I know there's a big scene. I'm working on and I have that inevitable end for these like next 12 pages that I'm working towards. But no, it's a lot of like day by day decision making like organic decisions and books. I don't like when the author is like they went to the post office because they have to ship the

thing. It's like, no, let them like stumble upon the post office anyway. Would you get over? Would you some days be feeling it and be like, oh yeah. I'd pump out like 3,500. I live in Paris last May to finish this because the last half of the books in Paris. I was cranking, man. I was smoking siggs inside.

It's going on long, elegant walks, man. Hand-roll. Dude, me, just going out, getting a loaf in the morning, getting some olives, getting some weird cut of meat that's from, like, the shin, you know, that they've made into, like, beauty and just coming home, stuffing it in a sandwich with arugula. Writing with a belly full of shin is fantastic. Dude, standing up with leg meat in you while you're, like, smoking, like, hash that you think might have rubber in it. As you're like, yes, I'm a master of the form.

It was, I was getting fired. My brain was hard. Did you ever, like, write a thousand words? come back the next day and just be like, what was I thinking? Constantly. All the time. There's 17,000 words that are not in this book that I thought were like pivotal and important. And my editor was like, they're boring. And I was like, come on, I'm beautiful.

Oh, so they edited like that where they like not just for grammar? They were like actually giving you. Yeah, they're like, you wrote a really propulsive hitman novel. Do we need him weeping when he sees Notre Dame? And I'm like, I think so. And they're like, yeah, but he's like an unrepentant killer who like went to the Marines. And I was like, yeah, but he made him sad. Wait, is an American?

Yeah, dude. I like that. I didn't know that. Now I can relate. Because at first I wasn't going to read it. French guy, killer. Bro, he loves Slipknot. There's a pivotal scene where they go to a Slipknot concert.

All right, I'm going to read this book. It's really good. Yes. It's four, it's a female beach read disguised as a men's book. Love that. Yeah. So I think last time you were here, you brought up, was Mr. Beast also releasing a book today? Did Jimmy drop today as well?

You know what? Jimmy came out like September 9th, and I think he's already on to the next. All right. What was his book? His book was pretty much if I did it, Mr. Bees. So, like, it was, it was, what's that show? The Squid Games. But it's run by Mr. Beets, just like the show he had in real life.

Yeah. But what if he was, like, locking people in boxes and making them eat each other? Yeah. So he's just writing his. We don't need to plug his, Mr. Bees. Mr. Bees just took Squid Game. So he basically just wrote his manifesto and was like, ha-ha, it's just a- No, no. He made James Patterson write his manifest.

Oh, he didn't even write it. He teamed with James Patterson. And as we know about James Patterson, he's teamed with a number of people who actually write the James Patterson books, allegedly. Wait, what? I don't know anything about this. James Patterson pumps out. It's like a book a month. It's like what dads get at the grocery store, you know?

Okay. It's always at the grocery. My grandma for Christmas got me the James Patterson Bill Clinton book. Exactly. They collapsed. Got it. Is it like frowned upon to have someone writing for you like that? like the same as like a ghostwriter in music or does everyone do that?

Man, if it was a literary novel, like if it's a book of fiction, that should come from you. Yeah. But if it's your memoir, that's very industry standard to hire like, there's like this guy, Mishka Shubali, who's like the king of that and goes in and like fixes everything. Ron Rash wrote Jerry Lee Lewis's. Yeah. Oh my God. That book is awesome. Jerry Lee Lewis used to pull up to Elvis's house and shoot his gun at the fucking gate.

That sounds fun. And it would be because he like, you know, like Elvis owed him $4. Yeah. You give him my money! You can still out here. I'm a pumper full of land. Yeah. So books are fun for knowing that kind of stuff.

Hey, tied to salary, buddy. You see it. Yeah, we had a ghostwriter and then we... Yeah, was it chat GPT?

We just were like, this doesn't sound like us at all and they had to rewrite it all in two weeks. Do you have a copy around here? Yeah, we have some in the studio. I'll give you one.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. There's a lot of pictures. This is a book for you. This one at Brandon's feet. Oh, that's for you. Oh, that's a book to dive into.

Oh, yeah. A book full of violence. I need you to sign one for my mom's brother. There's so many people. Oh, I'll sign for your mom. Oh, boy. Tracer cock. Leave my phone number.

Thank you. Kiss it. Hey, can I ask a question? What the fuck did I miss yesterday? Nothing, man. Stephen Jay's getting canceled? Well, you, KB called my quarterback gay? No, what?

No. He did. I said I think he might be. There's a chance, yeah. What the hell? But, like, he might. If he wins two of Super Bowls, it's not what the hell. Is Stephen Jay actually getting canceled right now?

I don't know. some people are not thrilled with it but like it's out of context it's out of context in context it was rough yeah what's the context why don't you give that add the context yeah sure two minutes before that half the studio in there called him gay okay I don't know that that's accurate

nope that's pretty gay we call him pussy we said and I'm talking about how pussy he might be I don't think anyone said gay no kid me did I said might be gay in the same vein like he might be one-eighth Lebanese. Because of the fingernails? Not for the fingernails.

He might be gay. We've got to start just like accepting that. You know what they say? If you spot it, you got it. Oh, no. I'm gay when I'm high. Oh, okay. And you're always high, right? I'm high every day, yeah.

He wake up. Only when he fucks man. Stephen, is that clip going viral? Not really, but it definitely has some traction and some people are commenting on it. Got it. I don't like your. It's like... Yeah, I was like, what the fuck did I miss?

Well, it wasn't as bad as when you wished injury upon Jalen Hertz, right? No, no, that was far worse. It wasn't just... Even had a hypothetical yesterday that if Caleb Williams won two Super Bowls but was gay, would people like him? Yeah, of course. Yeah. We had that conversation in the car yesterday. Yeah.

The city of Chicago would love to line up like miles of hot dogs for him to eat. Like, the crossover with Wiener Circle would be... Oh, yeah. Jay, we said to you, we said to you, you know, would you be okay with it? And you said, yeah, if he wins, yeah, I mean. But what if you're basically just asked, would you still like this person if they were gay? And so, how do you want us to answer that? And then he went with the worst, I have a gay buddy.

Oh, my friend. He got bad. Yeah. I do too. He's great. He's when he's high. Kyle, are you gay when you're high? I get a little, like, I feel like, I feel like,

Because I do too, man A little bit I appreciate beauty more Yeah Yeah, and that's gay It's like looking at a flower No, male beauty I do, yeah

Male body Like the form I do Yeah The clavicle How it hits the chest Yeah Like little things

These guys are gay These are gay He's a gay hitman So I had to be gay The whole writing Dude it was fun Yeah It was so much

Two gay marines Oh my god They go to Slipknot For Play They are? Oh I'm not reading that book Too late. You said you would.

Stephen's earning it. Stephen lit it on fire. He's ripping it in half. I did not say anything about my personal feelings towards it. I said, I asked, this was mainly a question for Eddie because he knows a million people in Chicago, a bunch of older people, like, definitely not young and with this generation. I asked if he thought that some people would be upset about that. Do you think your city's homophobic? No, just the suburbs.

Do you think What? Do you think White Sox Dave makes that trade? What trade? What's the trade? White Sox. Gay for title.

White Sox Steve's now a homophobe? No, I'm just saying, I'm just saying like there are of not me. You've made it a lot better. Now with the context, you know what? Way to clean it up. I was ready to cancel you, Steve, but now you've added the context. I think, uh, oh, fuck.

Didn't you have glasses? Uh, He ditched him after. Maybe you put the fly in disguise. What else I missed? You guys had Tadong for a while? We did have Tate on for a while, but what are you going to say? I was going to say, can we talk about Zah?

Yeah, Zah. People Magazine. Zai, was that like six days ago? I feel like I just saw it, but it was posted a while ago. Yeah, so I, same thing. So because they didn't tag me, I had no idea that they didn't. Yeah, but that was the thing that I came to ask you about. Incredible story, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I remember you did. Yeah. You brought that up to me. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone go read it. Reached out and, yeah. That would have been great.

We're asking our viewers to do a lot of reading. Zah, can I ask you just a syntax question? Can you pull that headline up again? So it says, man with dwarfism? Is that the preferred terminology? Or wouldn't it just be like dwarf was planning? Who knows? English is my fifth language.

I guess that's, yeah, I guess that's... Interesting. Yeah, that's how they want to... Because it makes it seem like... like you suffering from dwarfism. I mean, I am suffering from dwarfism. No, I'm kidding. I'm suffering from gigantism. You look good, Sam.

I feel good. You're probably more used to this. Every shirt I fucking buy now. Every shirt I purchase has flaps on it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're, you've nailed the, is he a comedian or is he a fly fisherman? Thank you. I like to think right from

Creek. Yeah, really. My hand was covered in dog food and I had it in a hole for catfish before. With the glasses and the shirt. Yeah. You're ready to go. I'm an offer now. And I need to be taken seriously as one. Are you playing shows this week in Chicago?

No, I'm doing my big book event tonight at Barnes & Noble on State Street at 7 p.m. And there's a real opportunity for it to turn into chaos and bedlam because they're already oversold and now I'm coming on here. So like, it could be a real jocks versus dorks today, boys. Sam, I don't want to put you on the spot. You get kissed a lot at shows from yak coins. Do you not? I've suffered.

I want to say suffer like Jay. I've had the pleasure of kissing at least four young men. So don't bring your kiss more. No. Yeah. Che, you can just give me a kiss. I don't mind the kisses because I call him on it.

A young man comes up with like a horseshoe his ins and like his hometown upside down on his hat. Will you honor this? Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm a core member. Yeah. And then I fucking kiss them real hard, dude. Sneak some tongue in there. I like to touch the side of their face. If they think that I'm going to like wuss out or whatever.

Oh, no, I grab faces. I grab chish. grab it's always in front of their girlfriend like the seven guys they live with yeah because it it's like a funny moment where they're like are you gonna actually do it and then when you do it they're like oh shit my hands my hands that's not a clip baby yeah i stay on the face for a second for the picture i've done lips i've never done lips i do lips Kyle chokes mm-hmm and gags so high he is men's cheeks do taste discernibly different yeah they're salty they're like exactly exactly beef jerky kissed by the sea I've never I've never kissed a clean shaven man's cheek no it's always even worse every every cheek I kiss is yeah

all sorts of stuff you get to eat whatever they just ate yeah yeah clean shaven is worse I remember my grandma my grandpa but he was clean shaven he would make me kiss his cheeks for postage stamps and it tasted like were you were you high oh whoa that was the thing

your grandpa for postage stash yeah we would rub his feet I didn't include that part And then kiss both of his cheats What did you get for that? The whole package Then he would give us like the What he said it's do you know 37 cents

Sure So yeah I used to rub my uncle's feet But there was no exchange of goods Massage Yeah it was just rub my feet Yeah That was a thing I guess

And now I would never ever dream To ask my knees to rub my feet Yeah that was no right Did you guys did you rub your uncle's feet We all all the cousins No but it was a thing of like Men of a certain age would come home Oh my feet

Hop on the couch Just be like, oh, then put their feet up and, like, whoever's in the room is supposed to just rub their feet. He would rotate all the grandchildren. Yeah, me too. You got to be tired. Were you good at it? Awful. That's something you've got to intentionally be awful, so he doesn't ask you.

I kept tickling him on that incident. Oh, he probably was pissed. Because your grandfather was a mean man. I know, but he was laughing because I was tickling him, but not in a fun way. That's how they laughed in that generation. Brin, you've done that with your kids, your wife? No. You ever go home and kick your shoes off and say have at it?

I've never had my feet rubbed by my kids or anybody. My dad would have me walk on his back. Oh, yeah, I had to do that all the time. I did that. I walked on my dad's back. I've never had my kids walk up. Yeah, that's over. I haven't had my kids do it.

These kids don't want to work, man. No, it doesn't. Everything comes so easy. I think it's also because their parents don't come home from like a factory, 12-hour shift. They like come home from the living room. I'm pretty fine when I get home. In the basement office? I've been in the house all day.

My job and my grandpa's job are very different. Yeah. Yeah. I think my grandpa would be stoked on what I claim on my taxes. Oh, you're a clown? I was a hobo. I did a show once for like the indigenous population of Denver. And I'm like a 16th like Native American.

So they like, oh, we have a headliner. So they shoved me on. And it was like all of these indigenous comics, they're having a blast. The crowd is packed with. Like, you know, young-spirited people, and every comic would do a bit about like, I'm living my ancestors' wildest dreams, and everyone would lose their minds. And I walked up there, and my opener was, you know, looking around this room, I think my ancestors would be pretty bummed.

I was hanging out with y'all. No one laughed. Oh, no. And then I had to do, like, 40 minutes to people who were mad and thought I was racist. I was waiting the whole time. I was like, I can't wait to say this. This is going to rip this room half. Bombs.

Yeah, and then they're mad. Oh. College football season this year, which means Roeback's game day collection is fresh with new designs, products and schools, almost 80 schools total with new designs and product. The best part is everything is custom designed for your school. Print polos with school logos, campus landmarks, lawn, standing traditions, team colors, you name it, hoodies, cue zips, in school colors with custom trims. This isn't just slapping a logo on.

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Yeah. Tate was real good, you know, just recapping everything. Yeah. Mince is just a bad guy. Yeah, but he can't help it. Tate always comes back from these, you know, kind of feeling, not, sympathy is not the word, but he does take up from M-Sing. Yeah.

Yeah. Sypathy. I know I was in the parking. not today eating my lunch at the table. I'm not going to say what it was. Oh, we know. Was it Chick-fil-A? No.

It was a healthy choice. Yes. What? Oh. Okay. It was McDonald's. Fine. Anyway, we move on.

So I'm sitting there, and Mincy's Uber pulls up, and I can hear him from the, he's doing a radio hit in the Uber. Yeah. Gets out, stands in the parking lot, does his radio hit for 15 minutes. He did that yesterday. So the radio hits never stopped. He does so much. I think I finally figured out

His actual job is he still works in Southern Radio. Yeah. He still works in Louisiana, in Shreveport Radio. He does work very hard. We pay him. He's not my heart yesterday. We pay him. He works for them.

Well, the thing is, he does a radio hit in the middle of the office, but he'll book a full conference room for a simple phone call. Right. He was doing a TV hit in the middle of the kitchen yesterday. Oh, I saw. Kenzie was, to be honest. But yeah. That's his voice.

There he goes. Maybe the, maybe the busiest spot you could pick. like we are losing. No, I'm back. I'm coming back. I don't know. And he claims our Wi-Fi.

What was the issue? I don't know. Mincey, use your own. His thumb. Yeah. So he's like working for the, you know,

like the kings of new media. You listen to this. I'm back. Come on here. He's in the middle of the kitchen. That's like the highest traffic area. Uh-huh. And those phone boots we got are so underutilized.

I think he just wants other people to see that he's working. He's growling. He's terrorizing someone in Bojure City right now. So he's like calling it. He's still working in Texarkana. That's insane. He'd focus my energy here.

He's got his people in Shreveport. We all do. You remember that. All right? Yeah. And what are they like? Are they like good point? I agree with you. I think they're like fan boat operators. We went for the D.K. Road race. We went to Shreveport was one of the challenges, and it was just a thousand Mincey's walking around. Oh.

It all sounded the same. That's where they're respawning? Yes. It was a Mincey farm. All those interstate towns in Louisiana are Mitzie-fied. Anywhere where a serial killer would have a blast. Oh, yeah. The owner was... He would be so easy to kill. Serial killer with Mincey.

Oh, yeah. The owner was like... The owner was amazing, too, but he was still at the point where he was like, You want me, like, pose for the camera, like, same shit. Yeah. But they were awesome. Oh, man. But Tate was great.

Tate, you know, Tate was, he recaptor for like 30 minutes. That's awesome. And then he's got to stream tonight. Yeah. Stream tonight with the flag football guys. Yeah. U.S. flag football team. They're here.

The guy who says it's better than Patchmore home. Yeah, we had, right. We had Rodriguez Blankett. You didn't hear about that. No. I watched football. Yeah. Oh, this is the worst day for you to be here.

Yeah, no, I thought about it because we have a couple of guests that might stop buy and do the gauntlet, and Sam is perfect for them. Who are the DJs? Dude. Oh, my God. Two friends. Two friends. Bro, they walked in and you were.

Not anymore. You weren't in here and I said, hi, I'm big cat. Yeah. Asked if they were rapists. Like right away. Oh, yeah.

What a nice friend. Almost immediately. You know, guys, you do a lot of shows. You're not good on all of them, but sometimes you really touch the ether. And that one, I pierced the veil. Has the flag football quarterback

doubled down on that take? Well, didn't they beat? Didn't they beat? Brady. Yeah, they beat Brady in a team of like former pros. So they might be right. So this all came from flag footballs in the Olympics.

The flag football is the Olympics. The guy was like, yeah, we're going to play. And everyone, the discourse was like, if we just put our best NFL players, we'll win easily. And the guy's like, I'm better than Patrick Holmes at flag football. I like that confident. And I don't, maybe he's right. I think he might be right. But I also can't comprehend how he could like, how could his arm be better.

than, like, Lamar Jackson seems like the greatest flag football player of all time. You would think. He's got to be faster and better arm than this guy. There's a whole hip. Yeah. The hip is what it is. So it's like if you could have like marimba or like Calypso dancers, like we might live. Chikira would be so good.

Shakira at the fullback. Oh, my. Oh, Shakira at the full back. Just back there shaking him and paying attention. God. Yeah. Possible. I don't think I can tag with Shakira.

Yeah. Just be like the Marshaun-Lind. run every time she touches the ball yeah yeah hold my dicks you out you get erect we should get Shakira on the show yeah that's a good idea Josh get a Shakira try to tackle her what if I did she could I just crush it it worked yeah it's flag football you just broke Shakira's femur you're your gable gripping Shakira she'll never dance again there would be a whole country of people trying to kill you oh yeah you would burn they would torch you in the in the square.

Yeah. Sir, it's flag football. Why'd you tackle her? By the way, Buda Ben made it to New Jersey. All right. Just now? Yeah.

That's faster than I thought. Did we get any update or recap from the driver on how we... We can. We can have money. Hit me up. I wonder how it was. What did we predict Sunday that they would get there? They were trying to get to South Bend Saturday night and they made it to Norman.

Norman, Oklahoma. Yeah. Yeah. Classic routing. We had a former... A former and new employee, same guy hired back, stranded in Blythe, California. What was he doing, picking almonds? He was driving from L.A. to New Jersey, which is where he's going to start his new job.

He made it to Blythe, California before the anxiety of being on the highway was too much, and he couldn't drive anymore. What? Right. He's never going to make it in this business. How is he going to be a road journalist? I don't know what he does. A lot of weed.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That does help a lot with travel. So he got to Blythe and then what? You stuck in Blythe for three days. A helicopter picked him on? No, we then found, we had the mayor of Blythe on. He gave him a key to the city for being stuck. And then unlocked his car and he got back in it. Yeah, then the councilman in Blythe drove him to New Jersey.

So naturally, we got a Blythe City councilman to drive him across the country. Classic. Big ask. Yeah. That's like vaudeville showbiz. Like, that's been there since the beginning. That's origin stories is what that is. Joe Halby, what a legend.

And how is this guy going to use this, like, hero's journey to profit? I smoke a lot more weed. Who? Oh, Buddha? Yeah. Oh, nothing. I think he's just never going to leave the state of New Jersey again. Okay.

I don't think he can. You can't. Anytime he leaves his house, he's like, I might get stranded. Yeah. Understandable. He's like, those in New York City, he's like, what if I get an anxiety attack on the train? Sounds like a liability. Possibly.

Potentially. But you can't fire him because it's mental. It's always good when Sam gets here and he's like, puts it in perspective. You guys were making this seem normal. Last time I was here, you'd like explain Mincy. Yeah. I still, I got flashcards to figure it out. Like, I don't know what's going on.

Yeah. People like it. Yeah, when people enter our world, they're like, wait, this guy can't go anywhere? Oh, he got stranded on the way to L.A. in Colorado. Well, that's a great place to be stranded if you're a week. The altitude is too much. The altitude. So now the height of the earth.

He fainted in the hotel lobby. When he was in Blythe, we were like, why don't you just go back to L.A. and then fly. And he said, well, I got anxiety flying. We're like, what about taking a train? And he was like, anxiety. Yeah. Sounds like a dream employee. Did you hire him a?

I think moving at all. Yeah. He didn't want to do the mountains because the elevation, but he didn't want to go through Texas because he had an ounce of weed. Yeah. Also, mandatory stops every hour for water. It was harder than Lewis and Clark. It was like Pocahontas.

She was easier to transport. Yeah. So you hired Sakajua and she can't travel. Yeah. And what's her job? What's her role in the office? Him. He's Saka Juea.

Yeah, yeah. Sackageuea's job? He's a producer. Okay. So he has to be places to produce them? You'd think. Yeah, yeah. But maybe not.

Hey, man. Keep cashing that. Stationary producer? Yeah. Should put that on... He makes paper? LinkedIn. Samtallant.com for tickets.

Cleveland this weekend, folks. Yeah. Well, I don't want to... I don't know the guy. And obviously, mental health is a real thing these days? No, you can blow pass up. Yeah, we're okay. You should fire the guy.

He's a huge liability. He's costing you money. He can't do a simple job that everyone does. But at least there was a city councilman with literally nothing else to do in the town he runs. He could drive across the country. Joe Alby. Joe Alby. You should hire Joe Alby.

That guy's an up. He would be a good producer. Yeah. He's an up and comer. Yeah. Everybody leave the politics of Blythe behind. Yeah, but water, we don't have any. What are we going to do?

Who would run Halby's store. Oh. He's got a store. I think you put Blythe in there. or the other guy you can't work. It's a stationary job in a place where... Oh, yeah. Buda Ben.

Yeah. There was a time we thought he might be moving there. Mm-hmm. Who? Cross my mind. The Buda bin might just be in Blythe forever. Oh, for sure. We had no outs.

It didn't seem like the worst place to be stuck forever. I think it would be the worst place to be stuck. The worst place. Oh. Amongst. Sure. It turned into like Schitt's Creek. You'd just be living at that hotel.

In the continental U.S.? Blythe? No. It's right on the line. Nice weather. Right on the line of Arizona? That's right. There's got to be a place in, like, North Dakota.

It's in the desert. I don't know. It's in the desert right by Southern California. North Dakota, you don't have snakes. You have lot lizards to contend with. Like, if you're in Blythe, you probably have, like, critters. They lost half for the population because the prison closed. Yeah, that's right.

That was a tough one. I didn't either. That was interesting. Yeah. Also, it seemed like all the photos he was posting around town, there's only dudes there. Like, at the bar. Maybe that's heaven. Right, Kyle?

That could be cool. Wow, you get an ounce of weed? That's a pretty good place. Yeah. No chicks to worry about cramping or something. Anyone have their kiss coin on them? Uh-huh. Just a necklace of kiss coins on every side.

Yeah. Damn. I like just looking on them. Just checking them out. But when I get off weed, I get really into, like, skin care and, like, folding all my clothes. It's weird. I think Che would have opinions on what kind of sexuality that is. How many Super Bowls do you win some Super Bowls?

Yeah. You won a couple of state wrestling championships. Thank you. Nothing gay about that. The sneaky best part about, um, Chase Hypothetical too. Court for men. It's pure adrenaline.

I was a wrestling. Now I'm an author wearing linen pants. I'm straight as narrow. As I get older, I get gayer and like into gardening. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, that's all I want to do is like sit. I want to like wrap myself in silk and sit in my backyard. That sounds wonderful.

All I want to do now. The sneaky part of Chase hypothetical, too, is what if he won one Super Bowl? Then everyone would just hate him, right? For being gay? He's bye. Bye now. Two is very funny to throw. out there. It's like the first one, you don't get a pass.

Yeah. Two, then we'll start. Oh, these guys are scared. Brutal. Oh, no, Che. I disagree. They're both looking at it. Yeah, they're both like fit, well-dressed young men. Yeah. I don't think Chee looks gay. There. I look gay sometimes. That's what.

It looks gay sometimes. We all look gay sometimes. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would love for anyone to be like, you look gay. That's a conval. I have my haircut. Yeah. I have expendable income and a home. Gay is back. Jerry, did you hear, see on advisor?

Jerry doesn't think that Pat is gay. Jay doesn't think Pat is gay. Really? Yeah, he said he's never seen him do anything gay. I was like, so wait. He's a colleague of ours. Gay correspondent, Pat. He's in New York who is gay.

And I called him on advisors. Like, what's the gayest thing you've ever done? He's like, I've had sex with a man. And I was like, that's pretty gay. Show me sex with a man. But Jerry's like, yeah, he hasn't. Jerry wants to see the tape. Yeah.

He wants to see the tape, and I think he wants Pat to be zesty. I don't know. It's not gay, but he's a demanding of gay sex. Jerry to. I told him that. I was like, I said Jerry, were you willing to let Pat prove it? He's like, yes. I was like, oh.

So he'd stand in the room as Pat was. I think he'd be probably. Yeah, I think so. I wouldn't fuck him. Sam, you're a Colorado guy. You see the Todd Hilton statue? No. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. What? How does that... Do they not... Be blowing the bat? We lost statue technology. Do they not...

Can I ask a question about statues? Do they not, like, when they say, hey, we want a statue? Do they not say, like, this is what we want or maybe give us a progress report? I feel like there's no progress report. Yeah. Everyone sees it for the first time when it's done. Look at this. This is Todd Helton statue.

Yeah. Oh, what? Yeah. Yeah. What the hell? What? Todd, yes. No.

That's Todd. That's like someone won project runway. That's classic Todd. Oh, yeah. That's Todd. Oh, yeah. That's what it's based off? We all remember that seminal photo.

Me who grew up there and remembers when the Rockies first played their first game. I remember when he looked like that. But that's not, he didn't even do that correct. He's about to be doing the meat spin. Dude, that's nuts. Have you seen most statues they make of like people of color? They look like racist caricatures. Oh, really?

Oh, the lip to face ratio. A lot of fucking, like, statues of famous people of color is very upsetting. Wasn't there one they had to, like, get rid of it and redo it? Was it a dwayne? Yeah. I think I'm anti-statue in general. Yeah, yeah. I agree.

Although all statues. Humanity used to be so good at it. Yeah. Yeah. We've gotten worse. Every statue reveals bad. It's also funny because statues, especially around stadiums, like, we're commemorating this person. They're going to live forever.

And it just becomes a, hey, yeah, I'm here. Meet me. Meet me by the stucy. Todd helped. That's it. The Jordan statue is awesome. That might be the best statue of the actual dunk. You know, he's rising above everybody.

That's incredible. What about what the raptors are doing? Oh, that one is cool. Kyle Lowry's also a raptor. They did this for Vince Carter as well. Do you think Kyle Lowry likes that? That's not Kyle Lowry at all. Do you imagine Kyle Lowry is a raptor?

Let's just a laughter. Put that underneath. That doesn't look like Kyle Lowry at all. No, dude, you guys aren't reading it. It says Kyle Lowry. Yeah. That's Kyle Lowry. That sucks.

If he were a raptor. They really consider him the greatest raptor of all time? I guess so. What's the... Yeah, what about Kauai? Kauai is the greatest. Yeah, but Vince invented slam dunks. That's true.

Who's the first ever skywalk? Yeah, I wouldn't have thought, Kyle. Wait, is Vince's statue a Raptor as well? They've done Raptors of other people. They always just make them raptors. I kind of would want to be a raptor. Yeah, but it wouldn't look like you. I know, but that's not him being immortalized.

Todd Helton's... I don't think you're reading it. It's Kyle Lowry. Would you want to be a bull if you play Chicago? Would you want the statue of you to be a bull? No, bulls aren't like as cool as raptors. Bulls are pretty cool. Your head on a bull body.

Tough, man. A bear would be cool. But you wouldn't want to be a cub? No, that's a baby bear. Thank you. That's what you're into. What would the white socks do? Just a sock.

It's a fucking socks. Just being in some shoes. You're just a big sock. Enough. It's just a big sock. It's not. But it. I think that's a, I mean, I don't, the Helton thing, I'm still rocked.

Yeah, what do you think that? What's the process? Like, they obviously draw something up. Right. But then can you do like a rough draft of a sculpture before? Yeah, just like, hey, guys, we're, we're about to do the bronzing. You want any notes? I would love a documentary on, like, who approved this, like the good, good ad.

Probably the guy who did the Blucifer. We have a history of her. Oh, I love Blucese. Yeah. The one that killed him. Fell on him. Yeah, fell on him. The horse's cock and paled him.

Is that what got him? Yeah. Are they all. man-made or the machines do them now? God, I don't want to find out that they're not man-man. Do you, as someone from Colorado, though, is like the Denver airport that's almost like, it's almost

like a lame conspiracy theory. It's like the first conspiracy theory, conspiracy theorists find out about. I mean, it is until you like look at the very simple evidence that it looks like a swastika from the sky. Yeah. Like, infinite tunnels under there and you can see them on the train. You see the branching tunnel systems that you never go to with terminal to terminal to.

I saw they're like leaning into it now. Yeah, they're trying like, oh, aliens are fixing The brands have gotten a hold of. That's how you win, yeah. But there's also that horrific mural of, like, the man with the death mask exterminating all the children of the world. I can't say I've seen that. Oh, my God. Can you pull up the murals at the Denver Airport?

They're, like, heavy H.R. Geiger. They're really scary. What? Yeah, there's, like, a man with a big, like, gas mask, and there's a bunch of children of all the different, like, ethnicities and cultures of the world, and he's spraying them with some kind of gas. That's a little one on the nose, though, if they were trying to, like, hide something. And it's also like the airport was built by like the New World Order Commission. It's like there's like a stone there. Yeah.

They say the Illuminati is like under. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's another one. So that one's there too and it's just like the world's on fire behind the children. That's kind of cool. That's not bad.

Yeah, that's a cool mural if it's a taco joint, but not the third. Welcome to Denver. And then there's another mural of like the gas mask guy spraying. But yeah, I don't know. I totally believe that Colorado, I mean, think about when, when, uh, When 9-11 happened, they flew bush to Nebraska. So, like, pretty much between Utah and, like, Lincoln, I think, is a whole secret underground. Like, the Mountain Time Zone has to belong to, like, the CIA.

Yeah. Yeah, Missouri's where we keep all the... Yeah, yeah, so, okay, it's a sword, yeah. Children of the World, and it's, like, a Nazi with a sword, like, slaking them all down. I think he's protecting them. Maybe. I think he's protecting them from a white genocide. Okay.

What the hell? Yeah. Whoa. Welcome to death. That's just in the... It's like in the... I think when you get off the train, it's right there. Just give me a sign that tells me where Uber pickup is.

It's really easy. It's so hard for these airports. Detroit, you have to go to Toledo to get an Uber. Yeah. But Detroit's got that tram that's inside. It's kind of cool. Yeah, I never take it. I like it.

I like it. I hate Denver Airport. Oh, man. I miss it. My conspiracy theory about the conspiracy theories of that they exist to overshadow the fact that Denver's the worst airport. That's smart. I fucking hate Denver. Every time I fly out of Denver, I lose my mind.

You have to sit in a car for an hour and a half to get to the airport. It's in the middle of nowhere, despite there being all sorts of land that you're passing to get there. Yeah. White Valley Ranch. That is actually genius. It's insane. Whenever someone says, oh, you hear about the Denver airport, they're like, no one says, oh, it sucks. No one ever talks about it sucks.

Oh, yeah, the new world order? Yeah. That's insane. That's the best take I've heard on this. Everybody goes into one line for security. Oh, it's a horrific security that goes out the door. Yeah, yeah. Horrific.

It's like a refugee camp. It's very bad. It's like, what airline are you flying out of? It doesn't matter because we're all. all going to one and we all get on the train and then we all it's crazy yeah no it's bad you have to drive there you can take the train they made the train very easy option yeah the airport but yeah getting there's such a slog and you have to get off of i70 and on to four 70 and then paining there's so much land sam yeah you can put it so much closer seven why are you why are you putting it so far away

i understand yeah four 70 yeah four 70 my understanding is that they thought that the i 25 corridor way and band all the way from laramie to pueblo and then they thought how do we enhance the bust of the corridor. We'll build all the way to the airport like we did to Boulder. They wanted to put like big hooters on the side of the airport and it was on the side of the highway and it was the airport in Boulder. And then no one wanted to live in Green Valley Ranch because there's

nothing to do and planes fly over you all the time. Got it. Yeah, but I had a bunch of friends who bought houses in Green Valley Ranch in like 2000, mid-2000, 2010's because it was like an affordable option. And now they're there and their houses have gone down in value. Yeah. Makes sense. I'll be goddamn. Makes sense. Nothing's worth

the same airport. That's a really good. Yeah. I like No, you talk about Denver Airport. All anyone talks about is the conspiracy. You don't talk about how inefficient it is and how it's like... Even the airport has... Sorry. I got a Colorado guy. My wife's...

I go there all the time. We go visit the in-laws. Colorado's awesome because they have all these open spaces. You know, just be driving, and they'll just be a sign that says open space. And that blew my mind the first time I saw it. I was like, this isn't a park? And she's like, no. It's just like a space that we just decide nothing goes here.

Then they take that and they apply it to the airport, Sam. So you're just like walking around, and there's a big old fucking open space. And it's like, we don't need an open space in an airport. Why is my walk to the gate five miles just because you have all of these open spaces that there's no nature. It's just like an open space in the airport. It's crazy. It's like a massive airport. It's impossible to get around.

You have to drive an hour and a half to get out there. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. But I like the city. I like Colorado a lot. I like them. Hey. I hate flying out of there.

I think we can all agree on that. But I'll take it over Atlanta. Yeah. That's what I'm not super familiar with Atlanta. I like Atlanta. It's a ton of things to do and eat. In the airport? Yeah.

Yeah, but... Brandon judges the airports on eating. Correct. I think that's fair. Brandon loves the airport. I love being in an airport. Airports like going to the mall. They're like going to a mall.

Yeah. I like getting there like three hours... Bookstores? Well, no, Nick, that's because you're scared of flying. Not as much anymore. Really? Yeah. It's gotten good.

I get there three hours in advance every time so I can have some time to walk around and take it. And you're a man with a family, so that's like an autonomous zone to you. Correct. Yeah. Where you can, like, smoke in the bathroom. and get drunk. Yeah. Well, I can do things I wouldn't do at home

and just chill out. Like what? Eat? And eat, yes. I have no shame in eating at airports. Atlanta has... Do you ever... Can I ask a question?

Yeah. We have Joe Halby on, so we've got to get them on a second. Have you ever landed and eaten? I just did it for the first time. Oh. That's the fattest move possible. Not even to somewhere else.

I'm saying landed home and eaten. No, no, no. But when I went to Nashville a couple of weeks ago to do the Josh Pacell. show. I flew out at like 10, got there at 12, and I had checked a bag because I was carrying some stuff to get autographed. Anyway, I checked a bag. And I walking through the Nashville airport, and I was the first one off plane. I looked at my phone, and I saw a barbecue joint, and I said, do you think I could eat and get to the baggage claim in time? Did you? Oh, my God,

it was amazing. I stopped at a barbecue joint that gave me a tray. I sat down and ate it. I was down. I was ordered, eaten, and out in nine and a half minutes. Oh, yeah. And I made it to my bag. And it was still spinning, and it was amazing. Your food and the bag were piping hot. Everything was fantastic, yes. There's a fatter mood, which is go to the

lounge when you land. Oh, that is... You land? No, you're crazy. You've done that? I didn't know. You could do that. Most times, I'll land. Go and get my coffee. Pocket full of cheese. Yeah, yeah. It's a cup of bacon. A literal humbler of bacon. Some loose nuts in your pocket.

Oh, yeah. Or no, what it is is it's those little lifesavers. Yeah. I just jam my pockets with lifesavers. Then I crinkle and crackle. I have considered getting home in Chicago and stopping. That would be the fattest move. Dude, I wish that O'Hare was my home airport. I love O'Hare.

I love the lounges. It's like, I really feel a sense of, like, peace when I connect in O'Hare because it's like a grounding. I'm there probably like twice a month just on accident. I fucking love that airport. Hmm. I want. I think it needs updated. Hey, man, I like it.

It looks like a very American, like, time capsule. and it's very easy to navigate, and they have lounges everywhere. And, yeah, Shardotratero hair. I'll give you that. Detroit's airport, I think we should finish the job. Torch it. Sucks.

Have you landed in Pittsburgh recently? No, no. It might as well be Shanghai. I only do A markets. Oh, okay. Come on. That airport's great, but I always drive to Pittsburgh. Well, they just redid it.

It feels like you're in Asia. Dude, every time I've been to that airport, Kurt Engels there, and there's like, there's that machine where you can scan your whole body. There's like an x-ray. And one time I spotted Kurt Angles. in that x-ray machine do you know what yes Kurt angle is always there why's he's always always always been at all right he's like you know he's driving people from

the airport he works he goes for the scan Kurt Engels TSA all right all right Joe Halby's here Joe where are you right now what's up guys where are you right now it's in the kitchen I'm I'm here in JFK I just saw a little where the employees go to their little elevator okay back here was loud everyone where else. Nice. So, all right, when did you, when did you guys complete the drive?

Was it this morning? Last night, we got in about 2 a.m. Oh, my God. So that's all. So you left Friday morning, and you got to New Jersey Monday late night. Yeah. You know, when the man drinks a liter of water every hour,

though, you've got to make a lot of stops. So did he never get the gallon of, a piss gallon? No. Oh, no. But I'm going to tell you guys something. Buy stock and smart. Water.

It's golden. We're potty armor, guys. How many, how many stops would you estimate? 20. Oh, my God. And how would he elicit that conversation? I'm scared. I mean, hey, you know what?

I'm going to tell you guys something. Ben, he's a beautiful mind, man. He's a really nice guy. It is what it is. You know, he's dealing with some stuff. Yeah. Honestly, I hope you guys get him on the insurance quick, man. He needs to get a little help there from the dog.

Oh. He's a good dude, though, man. How was Oklahoma? Oh, hey, you know what, Big Cat, man? I want to thank you so much. And the Oklahoma fans, I got to tell you, they're all class. Although they were getting a little nasty when Matera was throwing those interceptions. Yeah.

But they're classy, though. They're classiest shit. I got to give it to him. Okay, nice. This is a great guy. What a professional. He just gave it up to the fans. Like, that's veteran move.

Well, this isn't the barstall guy. No, I know. Oh, Alby. Mr. Alby, big fan, Sam, Talant. author of a new book, Brute. Now, you guys drove from inland California, where you're in government, correct? And you drove all the way to

New Jersey. Now, I've been to inland California. I've done some desert parties. Was there any crystal meth involved in your drive? No, sir. Okay. I'm drug-free. My man. Wheat is not a drug. That's right. I know. You ran on that platform. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe, how far into the journey did you say to yourself, I've made a huge mistake? probably about four hours down the road What route did you guys take? You went to Oklahoma City on Saturday. What route did you take after that? Then we shot up through, went through Tulsa, St. Louis, Indianapolis. Okay.

Then we were through Columbus, Georgia. Wait. I've been Ohio. Okay, yeah. And then we were south of Pittsburgh and through Harrisburg. And then we made it to North Jersey. Yeah. Like central wherever, wherever it is in Bergen County.

Okay. Besides the game, was there any other highlight or anything you got to see that was cool? Or it was like, nope, just a lot of bathrooms. I mean, we had some good meals and it was cool, you know. I got to see a lot of America that I haven't seen before. It's true. So I can appreciate that. Were you on Route 66 into Oklahoma?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did Route 66 for a bit. I mean, just by chance. It wasn't like we planned on it. That's not a... I've been in Route 66 through Arizona before, so it's not like a big deal to me.

That's whatever. So you're over it. Yeah. Understand. Yeah. And you avoid it all altitude for... Yeah. Yeah. I don't think the altitude really has anything to do with it, though.

But, you know. Sir, if there was a job at this revered institution, would you leave the world of Blythe politics behind and come work here? Hey man, if you guys had something for me, I'll figure it out. Okay. I don't have any hiring power. And I'm witty. Yeah, you're good.

You gave it up for Oklahoma fans. That's not easy to do. That's true. Well, yeah, that was cool, man. People approaching me there at Oklahoma. I'm like, what the world? I'm just a regular dude, man. I stay humble.

Yeah, man. Love it. Well, Joe, Safe Travels back. And if you're ever in Chicago, you obviously are more than welcome. And we're Blythe guys now. Yeah, Blythe. you know it's crazy i was in chicago for the fourth of july that is not that's crazy

oh that's crazy jo that's great i was just out there i'm actually a member of the elks you guys know about the elks yeah it's like a secret society right they're set up at the dendra airport you have the big building on uh on diversi like the is that that's the alks right yeah the national memorial building i was there

that's a cool building it was a hundred year anniversary on the 4th of July weekend. Okay. Oh. And so anyway, they had the National Convention in Chicago. So I was out there for a whole week. I got to see the Cubs and the Yves. That's the one on, yeah, diversity and, uh...

Yeah, it's on Lakeshore, I think. Yeah. Yeah. What do you guys do? That's Colty. How long you serve, right? Whoa. Yeah, we serve.

We're a fraternal organization. Thank you. Our main functions is a raise money for veterans and then handicapped children. Oh, damn. It's just a good organization. 100,000 members nationwide. That's two good cards. You really took our chances to make fun of you out of it when you're like veterans and handicapped children.

That's a one-to punch. We'll find some. It's my work. I'm a philanthropist by heart, guys. So that's why, you know, I do what I do. And they said, hey, I can maybe get a donation for the rec center. And, you know, Big Cat, he came through. Wow.

We're going to do a presentation later this week. Maybe come back on and do that live on the app. I love it. I love it. He can funnel a lot of money your way because he's been winning the lottery somehow over again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just like Epstein. So we're going to get a bunch of money.

Not true. Stavro said that too. Stavvy came on and said that. And then we looked it up and it's just you comedians just have decided that. Oh, I mean, who deleted it off the internet? That's good question. Yeah. He didn't know.

He worked for his money. Joe. Thank you so much. The media. Yeah. Before you go, one more question. Thank you, Joe. You're the best.

man. Thanks, show. Thank you so much. We'll see you guys. All right, so I think, because T.J, correct me if I'm wrong, the Super Bowl this year, we're going to do the same like we did with Camp Barcelona

and Super Bowl last year, a wheel. Or Plenko. That's a plan as of right now, yeah. I mean, someone's going to have to go to Blythe. Yeah. It's a three-hour drive. On the way. Yeah.

Just a day trip to Blythe. Send Buda Ben. Oh, you mean once we're out there. Yeah, once we're out there. Yeah, once we're out there. Yeah. somewhere in a hour drive. Stop a long way, yeah, man.

Buy out the Halby store. Yeah. Camp Barstool might look like the most fun thing anyone's. It is. Here comes your invite. I'm frankly jealous every time. We're coming now. Mikey Betts, plug your ears.

You're out. We just added one more bets. I'm sorry. Like, I'm not on my phone much anymore, but man, when you guys are at Camp Barstool, I'm like, it is God. Pool basketball for days and days? Yeah.

Yeah. It looks cool. Oh, shout out. What's your, what's the? the red-headed kid's name like but for we got a few connor griffin blutman butt boy but boy but but board is what i said i would never that's what chae called caleb william oh hey but

bro i met your dad i met your dad oh he's omnipresent everyone done yeah yeah came to me in a dream he said you have weeks left no i met your father he's a good friend of howie mandel yes i hung out with them yeah oh he's very proud of you he was I saw the clip that Howie posted. He was risen up someone. Yes, he was. Did you see this? Yes. And I think

he, I think he eventually had her screaming. I think so. Liam, is this true? Watch this. Can we put Liam in picture? I don't know who this woman is. No. He says, no. That's his dad. You're fine.

No, there's perfect. All right, thanks, Mark. I really appreciate it. You both look amazing. It's so nice. She's single, though. Okay, thanks. He's single, too. Could we make, like, a date, like,

for you guys oh well she got a she loves a dog just rescued a dog and I have put one down but I'm a dog that's depressing let's not lead with like a dog yeah yeah mr. Blumman involuntarily who's who's who's who's that oh housewell housewell house Oh, shit. Oh, man. Liam, did you see your dad compliment her titties? And forget that he was just the dog dad. Literally, literally barking at her.

Yeah. But he, like, couldn't control it. He, like, caught himself off guard. He just, like, naturally barked in audible bark. He refused to give me Topanga's phone number. It's probably smart. Yeah, very smart. Would you have used it?

Would you have called Topanga? I would, for the purposes of the bit that Howie Mandel was trying to achieve, yes. Yeah. Howie has, like, an AI lab in there. He could, like, shoot the Mandalorian. It's insane. He literally was like, we could shoot the Mandalorian in here. Oh, he said that. Yes. He has like a pod

of holograms. He can pull up a hologram of you and it'll tell you facts about your life. It's very scary. Howie? I think he has all the money that Canada ever made. Oh, yeah. In a warehouse. Bobby's World is huge up there. I brought up Bobby's World and he was very dismissive. I was like, bro, I am 39. I love Bobby's World. Way to move it to Canada, so we

all gave a shit. Or move it from Canada to Minnesota. He was very dismissive. Huh. Yeah. Huh. That was not a shame's character. Not a shame, but it's more of like, I've done other things, you know, that was years ago. Yeah, look.

Oh. He traps people in these cages and he owns their soul. He's got more than one? He has, like, maybe six or seven. Oh, my God. We did one of these interviews once. You got to try it out after. You did.

Like a fighter, right? Yeah, we interviewed a UFC fighter in a hologram. In a hologram. They went to his place. They rode around with Howard Mandel for hours. Did you guys talk about Connor inviting everyone on the act to his party 20 minutes before? No, that's fucked up, and I'm mad at him, haven't talked to him. What a jerk.

Is this mook? Connor. Another red-headed Connor. Another red-headed Connor. We have three red-headed Connors. Yeah. He replicated his apartment down by the lake and invited people to come hang out at his apartment. Weird theme.

He sent the invite. If that's his apartment, his apartment sucks. Well, he's in between opportunities. Send it 20 minutes before. Like, who's going to go to... He did the cursory, like, hey, I want to invite you guys, but I don't want you to come. It's because his girlfriend wanted their friends to come. Oh, no, no.

Girlfriend and come and don't... No. Not doing either. Kitty has claws. All right. This guy's a lonely loser. He doesn't know how to invite his friends? Yes.

Right. It was just... I would rather not be invited than invite. Oh, it's not an invite. Right. It's you having to come up with... him like sorry I have a life yeah like well especially when before he was he made his own flyers for this and was handing it out that morning yep what at the park either here he went through the effort

yeah of printing these off and handing them out to co-workers people he kind of knows yeah but he didn't invite his core squad none of us got a flyer not even titus not even titus you invited him to your wedding that's right yeah and he didn't he took his shirt off of titus's wedding yeah yeah were you jealous yeah and yes i hate bringing this up but it did happen he my friend if she was to get pregnant would she have a natural birth what yeah get him out all of your employees very uncomfortable most employees you bring up I'm up I'm not happy with their antics how early into the conversation like did he get I don't know I was told yeah my buddy he asked my buddy's wife yeah he's like are you a mom and she does no and he's like if you were to

get pregnant would you have a natural birth you think what's weird yeah so weird what is that my buddy was like I was like how was the wedding and he was like I had a great time like this happened you should know about it. I was like, that's see something, say something. Yeah, like, that'd be a weird question for someone you really know. That'd be a weird question for your wife.

Yeah, right? My wife's a doctor. She doesn't wait to ask that question until like months into the birth plan. Yeah. Damn. You guys want a fun bit? You can do at a wedding? Yeah. Okay. So let's say you're getting married, right? And I go up to Kate. Kate's crying

during the ceremony. You know, she's crying. And I go up to Kate and I go, hey, are you crying? you're in love with the groom and you're jealous of the bride. Yeah, and then you go around telling everyone, Kate was crying because she's like, she's in love with Kyle. Yeah, she's totally in love with Kyle. Like, it's insane.

That would honestly destroy me. That would, yeah, that would, yeah, that would, genuinely. Titus did a really fun thing in his wedding that I'd never seen before passing around. Shirts versus skins? Yeah. Instead of having, like, traditional speeches, they pass around a hat with everyone's name in it,

and then three random people had to give a speech. No. And one guy was not ready for it. He just started talking about his house burning down. It started lighting. It was awesome. Yeah, it was so fun. It was more fun for the people that didn't end up giving people.

It was more fun to watch the people that did not have their names drawn, just shitting their pants the whole time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We didn't. We didn't, I don't know if I, we actually, we went through our guest list and we took people's names out. We're like, we don't want him to be. We don't want, you know. It's like we were.

You didn't take the fire guy. out we didn't take him out yeah you know that the house had burned down yeah I didn't know he's gonna talk about yeah it was like instant yeah it's whole thing yeah he was Colorado guy yeah yeah yeah yeah fire fire's come swift out there but uh yeah we we had taken like half the half the party was out but they didn't know that so it's fun right like the everyone the whole room was sitting their pants yeah imagine if buda ben was there he would have burnt the place yeah I probably would anyone drive me home did were there a lot of media professionals you probably had confidence in the people who were

Yeah, I mean, like Brandon and Dan were there. I would love for you. FFT was there. I don't do well in that. I left them in the hat. I was like, they'll be fine. But then, yeah, there are some people where I was like, they'll have a panic attack. So I took them out, but I didn't tell them I took them out.

So they were still like having the panic attack thinking it could be them. Well, after the three speeches of the hat, everybody thought the hat was gone. And Dan clinked his glass and said Brandon wants to say that's my favorite thing. That's my favorite thing to do at weddings. If I get a bad seat at a wedding, I'll just. sit like I'm all the way in the back I'll just clink my glass and go shh and everyone will

quiet down and then no one stands up uh-huh you're ready to go so you forced your friend speech at your friend's wedding you got to wait till you're like standing up and then they start kissing and you're like not kissing oh no did you speak no no all I did was

and the guy's name was I'm gonna say his name was Billy the guy who talked about his house burning down I just stood up and said to Billy in his house. Yeah, rub the salt. Sam, did you have a big wedding? I had a big, beautiful wedding in Evergreen, Colorado at the Evergreen Lake House, and it was perfect, except for I wept the entire time. Okay. I was, like, ugly sobbing.

What? You're in love with the bride or something? A little head. Hamstring injury? I'd corn ACL. Okay. Yeah. I was lifting up my bride. It's okay to cry for hamstrings.

It is 100%. Dude, I hated that people made fun of him. That made me so mad. Oh, it's the towel over the head. The man wants to win. He loves the game. He's devoted himself to it. You're not going to fucking cry.

The memes were funny, though. You have to be able to be like, the memes are funny. Sure, but, like, in the moment, I was watching it and I was, like, heartbroken for the guy. Oh, yeah. But did you think the injury was worse than what it was? No, I was like, fuck. I was so stoked on the Bears first week. And I was watching my buddy Nathan, who was a lifelong Bears fan.

And it was like, not at all. I did nothing but, you know, empathy for that. You know that crying actually calms the body down. So I think that's probably a healing mechanism. Yeah. That's why he healed himself That's why he's going to come back so fast Correct

He cried so hard Wolverine Yeah So fucking hard So hard that it Yeah During the pictures of our wedding We were in front of a lake

And there was a dog on a paddleboard With sunglasses on Oh hell yeah In all the photos Which was very pivotal You plan that? No no It was just a public lake

Was he with a was he alone He was a Harlem Globetrotter Yeah Yeah the dog was a political prisoner No I don't know who the owner was But there's photos of just a dog On a paddle board with sunglasses. Was the lake

penis shaped? No, it was shaped like a vagina. Nice. Yeah. So, yeah, there was an island at the top. It's a clitorious show. Our Connor Griffin. We had a guy go officiate a wedding. He took the same guy, and he took a picture in front of the lake said this heart-shaped

lake. We looked at it on Google Maps. It's a cock and balls. Big cock and balls. Big cock and balls. Was it in Missouri? It's in Pennsylvania? No. Is there a cock lake in Missouri? I feel like those public waterworks, like the the Tennessee Valley Authority, those engineers probably had some fun with the layout. Nothing but Cox in Missouri.

Nothing but Cox involved. Connor doubled down on it too, right? That means maybe his dick just looks like a heart dick. His heart dick? He's a heart dick. Sorry, Connor. Easy to have sex with it. That's right.

Yeah. I think it might be difficult for the heart dick. It's tapered. Well, you know, it's not difficult. By all means. Is a drinking body armor. You got a man for it? I just love body.

I'm not an ad. I just love body armor. You know? I know that we had Albi come on talking about a rival product. I'll tell you what, I don't have any truck for that conversation. Because I want my body to be armored. And I want it to be Flash IV or 4, depending on if there's a period. I mean, you guys like Flash IV, right?

Yeah. It's packed. What's it packed with? Electrolites. That's right. Yeah. And it delivers faster, longer lasting hydration. I hate when my hydration runs out.

I hate when I'm like, you know, playing a sport. I don't play less sports. but if I was, I'd be dehydrated. I'd be tough. And I can't just get an IV jammed into my bag. I'm not hanging out with Joe Rogan constantly. So, you know what I hate? I hate artificial dyes.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, okay, I'm already doing a lot of damage with all the pills and alcohol that I need to cancel out with this body armor. Demar Hamlin. DeMarer Hamlin. Yeah.

Official die. Wow. Yes. Slam dunk. Gone. Wow. All right. First for Jamlin.

Hey, get his book, too. Yeah. Whether you're... Is he a book? Yes. Whether you're... Or traveling or just feeling the heat. I mean, I'm sweating over here.

Titus, it's burning off. It's like a hippo giving birth, and he's standing by the vagina. Work hard and hydrate hard with body armor, flash IV. Grab it at 7-Eleven. Let's go. It's that 7-Eleven. Should we have a... How do you pronounce the name?

Ducet? Who's Choucette? That's Mincy. That's a Bojur City. Gawlet? Yeah. Let's see Hush, do it. Keep him away from Sam.

If he doesn't do better than me? Hush. It's Hush. I think we can put these rumors to rest. Yeah. You had a good time. It had a great time. You had a great time.

Have the best of all comedians, except for Rainey, maybe. Hush, Doucette and Izzy Gerasi are here. Easy enough. This is the guy who said he's better than Caleb Williams. Or better than. Izzy Garasi. It's not. Oh, they play.

It's a co-ed league? I don't know. Yeah, she played for the Cleveland State Vikings and the USC upstate Spartans before transitioning into flag football. Hi, how's going? How we doing? Hello.

Hello. Welcome, welcome. Stand up. Yep. Do you want to see if Izzy wants to come on too, Brinand? Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm here. Izzy?

Hey, what's up, man? Good to meet you. Oh, you. You met? Yeah. I don't know. Okay, yeah. Sit on down.

on down. What's up, Izzy? Do you guys want to do the gauntlet? Here, throw the mic in front of your face real quick. Do you want to do the gauntlet? You ready? This is big for flag football. I mean, I had an energy drink, so I think I'm ready. Okay, nice. You've got body armor. Yeah, we'll get you a body armor flash heavy. How are you guys, have you guys qualified for the Olympics? How does that process work? Or when is this? Yeah, so since we are like the home country, we were automatically qualified, but we also went out there and took care of. business to make sure we deserve to be qualified. Got it. Guys, we want gold, was able to

qualify the women want silver. It's my understanding that the only reason that this sport is in the Olympics because you guys are so dominant in your performance, right? It's going to be, I mean, I'm not trying to put any gauntlets down, but I feel like if I was a betting man, I'm going all in on y'all's team versus the world

in the Olympics. I mean, I will always bet on myself, but all these countries have been catching up, and they're great. The talent-wise, you could tell off the all of the homework they do. Man, it's not an easy sport. And a lot of these countries are also great,

but I'm always been on myself. And I feel like the goal is to win goal. And I feel like we are the standard. So, yeah, I agree with you. And a lot of them don't have black guys. You know, like, so this is, I mean, you guys versus Sweden? Are we kidding? How bad?

I mean, how many 70 points are you going to beat them by? I mean, this is insane. This should not be a conversation. I'm so proud of the football team. Are you standing 10 toes down on the, better than Patrick Mahomes of flag football? That wasn't the, that statement was taken out of context. What was the context?

Cheye. Give, USA guys, flag guys, opportunity to make the Olympic team versus the name making the Olympic team. I agree with that. 100%. It's a different role. I was skill set. But is Patrick Mahomes better than you have to come out there and we compete.

Yes. I like this. I like this. I like this. Yes. But I wouldn't mind catching some passes from them either. Yeah. No.

So hey. I've seen your like highlight tape. It's your. You're fucking awesome. I appreciate it. And Izzy, you're no slouch. I'm okay. All right.

Are you quarterback? No, I'm a receiver. Okay. I'm a receiver. Oh, yeah, long body, big hands, dominating the middle of the field. Making work. Wait, who did we, if we got silver, who'd we? We lost to Canada.

What? Oh, Izzy. I know, guys. But they were on, they were on steroids. Yeah. We can say that. We can say it for a, 100%. We'll say it.

Yeah, we'll say it. Don't say anything. How bad? What was the final score? We lost by, it was basically the last play. Yeah. All right, so good redemption arc for the. Yeah.

Yeah. We got to. And you know what? It's fine, because that's not the big one. The big one's coming up. Yeah. Tonight against our co-workers. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the big. How many people are playing on the field at one time? Five. Okay, five on. From us. Now, from you guys. I don't know. Oh, no, no.

I'm saying in the actual sport in the Olympics. Five on five. Five. Yeah. Yeah, today, tonight you guys are going to. Are we doing a similar thing where we keep? adding people? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. At what point do you think we are competitive? 15. I mean, we did this with basketball and it got really ugly. So it was 15 versus five? So we're

going to be able to keep our five on the field at the same time? I think it's like the basketball one. We started one on one, two on two, then up to five, then we started adding past five. I think we got up to 20 on five. And then when we got to 20 on five, we started taking away basketball players. Because it was legally an orgy at that point. And it didn't end until I think we finally won when it was 20 on two. So were they really that good? Or were you guys just really there was, they were professional bad. Like they were all guys who played either Division I or in the pros.

Chris Kamen. They were really that good. Chris Kamen, like they played with the clip. Is the center? Was he on the court? He wasn't on the court. Okay. But he does have that famous picture with the horse taking a piss.

That's right. Yeah. I love that picture. All right. So you guys are ready for the gauntlet? Do you know what it is? Yeah. It kind of went over it.

Soccer, conhole, football. You're going to hit a home run. Guys, I have, like, the top record for comedians. This will be nothing for you guys. All right. What was it? You know what? I don't remember because I'm not really...

Pull it up. I don't care about that. I just care about being on a team like you guys, you know? It's not me. It's the team that wins. 234. The important part is that the end, when you finish everything on the court, you come and do trivia. Yeah.

We'll show you the trivia real quick. You have to get 10 total answers. There's going to be, like, 50. possible way. Yeah, you can jump around so you don't have to go like one category. Do you know what I mean? You just got to get 10 total. I'm going to lose the trivia. The hardest question. No, but like...

Eight NFL teams with the most pro football Hall of Famer. And number five, I would name all the teams. Yeah, right. You could do that or... Look, England's not even spelled right. So they don't take it that serious. Five cities in England with highest population, London. Like, and you can hop around. Four states that start with the letter A.

Yep. You got four states. Alabama, Arkansas. Arkansas, Alaska. Yeah, but I'm looking at all other things. You don't look at 10 total. Don't look at the hard ones. You don't have to worry about the hard, like, you can get them from other categories here.

Okay, okay. You can jump around. Oh, but as long as you name 10 overall. Total, yeah, yeah. Oh, don't stress. I'm thinking like you got to have. You don't even have to touch the seven top sources where AI gets his information. Manchester, Birmingham.

Yeah. Sam, the three sons of Adam and Eve. I think vibrator, cockering. That's right. And you're from New Orleans, sir? Yes. Is there a better American city? Is it an American city?

You know what? Very fair. Yeah. I mean that in the best way. I always say that the only place you can go abroad without having to leave the country is New Orleans. And Montreal. We are one of our home.

He always says that. But the food is great, and that's why it's tough for me to eat outside of New Orleans because I'm so used to the way we blend our seafood and seasoning and all that. And then for some of the people that like to party, you could drink on some. But the architecture, the history, the magnolia blooms. It's such a beautiful place. It is.

It is, but some people don't come down for that. Well, a lot of them are racist. It comes down. For the great time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And where are you from? I'm from Cleveland.

Oh, my mom's from Shagrin Falls. No way. I'm on the west side, and my family's on the east side. Hell yes. Excellent. What a great place. I'll be at Cleveland this weekend if you're in town. Hilarities?

I'm not, but that'll be fun. We'll postpone the shows. Okay. You will. You will make a call or? No. I need the money, ma'am. All right. Who wants to go first? You want to go first? I'll go first.

Izzy you got this? A competitor. There'll be someone out on the court, too, to like walk into. I need to cheer Izzy on. Izzy, you got this. You got this. You're an Olympic athlete. Brand. Not thing for you. Not too. Izzy, make me look good out there. Throw you off. Meant and don't do great.

What's the bear's injury news? The agent's in concussion protocol? Oh, my God. How that happened? I think he put his helmet on. Oh, kill my question. He put it on backwards. What the hell?

Wait, so do they have a goalie? Yes, Connor, but he's kind of. He's just a body. Okay. He's not any. Don't worry. You don't have to juke him or anything. Case Keenum time.

So y'all don't even warm up before doing, y'all just get straight to it. Yeah, but we're not very good at it. I came off the bench, put up legendary performance, sir. You probably have the worst time. I'm the, was the fattest guy ever, too. Not when you ran it, right? You guys playing tonight? Yeah.

What's it? None of us. think it is we have some athletes yeah kedik he played for uh indiana yeah white sox dave played for t bob right tvs spider's a tarantula for ls u right yeah yeah t bob played center for lsu yeah posted his huddle and he was nasty in high school who he bob read oh read read he posted has highlights he's a good athlete he was insane in high school there's a couple really good athletes yeah rudy megan megan's a good app yeah rudy won a national title at uh Denver for hockey.

So there's some guys in there. I don't know how to make. Stephen Chey actually is in Cooperstown. And maybe homophobic. And maybe homophobic. I don't, dude, we don't know. We don't. No, we were.

Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. Yeah. We tried to figure it out at the beginning of the episode. Is it whoosh, sir? Am I saying it right? Is there a fair comparison to be drawn between ultimate frisbee and flag football?

Do you think those are comparable skills? No, I think it's entirely two different. Sam, what do you? Well, there's a lot of like... Sam, you couldn't be further away now. You have to have these conversations. I'm not being rude. I'm asking us into your question. Yeah, I think it's two totally entirely different things.

Don't get me wrong, I don't know all of the sports with ultimate frisbee. But I do watch them throw the frisbee downfield and guys have to catch, but I think they may not be able to take like two steps once they catch the frisbee here to throw. The lateral movement that you guys are capable of is so beautiful to behold, the hips, the cuts, the stopping and starting. Yeah. I do, is it fair to say

it's a different game than professional football? Yeah, and I think that's what a lot of people get confused about. Of course, traditional football, they're kind of more,

of course, more physical, and they always straight line speed most of the time because they have a lot of collision versus us. We like to stop and go different movements

dropping out of hip your hip lines, right? You're saying your guy's ability to, like, move your hips is insane. It's beyond humans. I think we kind of saw it when we did the fanatics fest.

I'm not sure if you guys saw the flight football game, but like, Lou Keekeley, Hall of Fame, linebacker. He was like, what am I doing out here? This is not what I'm accustomed to doing, you know. And some of the guys did just were physical specimen versus me. I'm 140, and I'm not built like them, but I can move around.

I have the speed that it was got to happen. Yeah. All right. You are him. Just a tad bit different. And we work on our craft a lot, dropping our hips to dip, more of a duck walk type of deal. but we also have to get out of that dip really fast and try to get back to full speed

and those guys are not accustomed to that at There's a lot of non-traditional sports movements involved in your game that I feel like your expertise since you kind of for like invented or heightened or brought it up to the levels that it's at like I bet people will look back on on y'all's contributions

the same way they look back at like you know Hank Aaron or a baseball player who was white I don't know but like the historical significance when we look back, because I think it'll be in the Olympics for a long time, right? I think so as well. I think USA is actually behind in flag football when it comes to overall where the sport is, because in other countries, they start from a real young youth.

I think we're behind. What's the top country? Like, what country do you look at? Like, I think... No, he's saying other countries are further ahead with flag football. What country prioritizes? I would say like Mexico, right? Mexico from...

Even though I played as a young kid, but I was only... and school playing. Yeah. They actually trained their kids 24-7 to be a flag football player. They're looking forward to being on a national team versus us. We look forward to the NFL. Right. You know what I'm saying?

So within that, that shows how much we were behind, even though we're starting to catch up with our youth. But I just felt like they're more ahead with where they started when they started with their youth. Did you ask him about Shakira already? Yeah. Oh, no. We didn't ask. Shakira would probably be the best. I think Shakira would be good with those hips.

She moves around. Yeah. Those hips. You're right? and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. Let's put her at referee. I think we're all tuning in.

All right, Izzy, you ready? I'm ready. All right, here we go. Let's go, Izzy. Pride of Cleveland. All right. Do it for the Vikings. Three, two, one, go.

All right, here we go. You got to pick up multiple bags here. She grabbed. She grabbed a couple. Oh, yeah. Oh. She only needs one or two. Yeah.

Lefty. Oh, he's really blocking. Yeah. Oh. And I tell me it was going to be like. Oh, and then you can score from anywhere. Oh, Connor. He's flirting. He's flirting.

He's flirting. Connor's from anywhere, Izzy. Connor, you look good, man. Oh, let's go. There it is. It's all smooth sailing from here. So you just got to get a ball, a home run above this right there. That's it.

Oh, Izzy did that kind of easy. Yeah. I'm not really of it. Baseball player. Yeah, but you're an athlete. You're an Olympic athlete. Yeah. So you're going to dominate.

For sure. I was camed by this point. Yeah, you made me come out and I to put talcum powder on you. There we go, there we go. You got to. Well, she's going to do the privilege. The basketball player at heart. Oh, okay.

She played college basketball. Oh, wow. Yeah, you could tell you. Eat shot. Come on. Oh, okay. Let's go. Sit down on your seat.

You got six states bordering Pennsylvania. That's an easy one. You know that? Ohio. West Virginia New York Nine teams in Florida NBA NFL MLB or NHL

Just Florida professional teams Any teams Dolphins Bucks Cains You said pro Any yeah Yeah I need pro pro

Rays Five members of the backstreet boys Justin Timberlake Yep that's in sync Oh dang I think Nope I don't know the rest Can I skip that?

Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want. Brady Bunch? No, no, no, no. Most populated cities in Asia? Highest antidepressant use by country. Antidepressants, countries. No.

Nine first names of the Brady bunch. You're in one. You're in one for sure. Oh, okay. All right, you go back to Florida teams. Yeah, you got this. Think basketball. NBA teams.

Oh, yeah. Two of them. Yep. Football. He, Orlando Magic. Yep. Jacksonville Jags. Yep.

Time. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go, Izzy. You beat Sam Tala. Wait, what was Sam's time? Never mind, though. I'm no longer clapping.

Very good time. Izzy, that was great. Guys. Great job. Thank you. Yep. All right, 214. Were you a basketball player?

I was in college, yeah, for five years. We'll check to see who they beat after. Hush goes. There we go. Two. Solid cornhole shot, too. Second one. Yeah, you have swish.

Nothing but. Does she have any categorical record? Flag football, probably. Is it, do you ever play, like, intramural rec sports and just dominate? Yeah, actually, the way I got into Flag was playing, like, intramural, like, co-ed. That's awesome. And then some people there did, like, higher-end travel, and they were like, we need you in our men's league. Yeah.

And I was like, all right, I'll join the men's league. And then they're like, we need you on our travel team. Hell yeah. Yeah, there was definitely some times. And is flag football your love, or is it the best way you're going to be? best way you can express yourself athletically? I'll say both.

Yeah, awesome. Yeah, like, I mean, I grew up playing tackle, actually. So, like, I kind of always had a love for football. And then I did basketball because, like, that got me through college. Sure. Cleveland State. Where did you play basketball? Cleveland State.

Oh, you did close. And then at USC upstate for my fifth year. Awesome. Yeah, it's kind of always been the love. Now. Wow. All right. Who's ready?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Records 105? Who did that? Holy shit It's Titus Him Holy shit

All right Hold on Every time somebody asks I get so pissed Yeah you're It used to be me It sucks All right here we go

Three Two one Go Bouch I was picking up a ton Oh Jesus Oh no urgency No urgency

Whatsoever Oh it's over Wait All right All right There's a confidence I really quiet confidence this isn't easy oh no this isn't easy oh right here oh no up

up up drive it up on him get closer come on who yeah get close oh no there it is oh oh no honor soccer hasn't taken the bayou by storm no yeah oh oh oh oh the The camera down. Oh. He keeps a toe ball in it. No, come on her. Let him score. Let him score.

What an asshole. He's a wall. Baseball, baseball. Oh, look, he's fleeing. There's a Greg Oster tag out there. There it is. There it is. There's a go.

That counts. He's got to get this first, right? I mean, this is a nightmare for anyone who has to do it. Yes. I empathize. It humbles you so close. I hated it, and I was 100 pounds heavier. Oh, congrats on the weight loss.

Thank you. She's running that in. Well, you wrote a book. That's a high score. There it is. Oh, there we go. All right. Come on.

All right, here we go. Who's got this hoosh? Here we go. California's pro sports teams. California pro sports teams. California. Padres. Lakers, clippers.

Football. Three face cards in poker. Face cards. Jack Queen King. There we go. Missy Child. Skittles flavor. Beyonce.

Yep. Kit Michelle. I can't believe I think. Can't think the other person. I'm going back to football. Yeah, go back to. Skittles. Skittles.

Skittles. Skittles. Skittal flavors. Great. Yep. Is it fruit punch? You got it all. Blue de bloom?

No. Grizzly bear, polar bear. go. Oh, there we go, time. 23. Outta boy. There we go. Oh, that was terrible.

That's all right. It was good. It's not easy. It's not easy. Well, see who you beat a lot of pro athletes. Yeah. And Sam Talent. Sam Talent, author of Brute, available today.

Go to Barnes & Noble with your kiss coin and do not pants him. Yeah, yeah. You can kiss me. Just don't pants me. That's all I ask. Okay. Let's see. All right.

So. Let's see. Who you beat? There you are. Joe Thomas, Hall of Famer. NFL Hall of Famer. That guy? Yeah.

There's Sam Talent right there. Sam, 237. Brandon Walker. That's what I wait. Yeah. Kyle Long, Alex Caruso, C.M. P. M. P.M. Punk. Justice.

Taylor Gooch, Brooks, Kepka. Kyle Rudolph, Jared from Subway. What? Yeah. He was not as bad as I thought. He ran it virtually. Great job. From prison.

Great job. Not bad. It was fun. I thought it was much worse. I thought it was about four minutes and no. You guys, yeah, you panic a little when you're out there. I just think time's just going. Soccer, I'm terrible at soccer.

Yeah, that was kind of bullshit. He fucked you. The Crescent City doesn't play soccer at all. Exactly. Yeah. At least I made two out of three in basketball. I had a little warm up on the small goals over there. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It's good. All right. Well, everyone tune in tonight. Thank you guys for stopping by. Good luck. Win Gold? Yes.

You guys rock. And don't like embarrass our coworkers tonight. Please do it. Please. Please embarrass us. I want a torn meniscus out of someone. Yeah. Like really make them feel bad.

Who do we want to get hurt? Hankle? Oh my God. No, I don't want Hankle to get hurt. Wow. We did recommend that they were pleased. Yeah, please somebody don't want in cleats tonight. I think they're wearing cleats.

Steve Jay? Steve Jay. Yeah. Is there anyone on y'all's team tonight that we should keep our eyes open for coming up in the Olympics? We're all here for a reason. Anybody with like a temper or like a little bit of a... Yeah, somebody who spits. A tough five, yeah, spitter.

No. We know we're here to take care of business and also have fun. I love it. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah. USA. All right. Love it.

Yeah. In the studio. Thank you so much. Awesome. Love this. Thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you guys.

Yeah, I appreciate it. many guys. Please embarrass everyone tonight. Yeah, embarrassing. We're going to try. We're going to try as best as possible. Any all readers? Like a copy of my book?

Yeah. Please. There we go. Hell yeah. It's about a hitman. All right. Thank you, Izzy. My expertise.

Thank you, Hoosh. Appreciate it, man. It was fun. I gave her the good one. Time wasn't great. You kept yours. No, no, no, no, no, no. It says it's a.

Danny Danny Danny Danny C Oh no Jackie's here Oh no Oh no

I could listen to people from New Orleans talk Yeah All day long Hey baby Something about it The best The best draw

Yeah Both of them? Yeah Both of them Yeah they don't Yeah He wasn't even He wasn't even He wasn't even

Guy almost stripped Over the cornhole board Oh Oh, Daddy. Jackie was watching? Oh, no. Well, I mean, after what she did with Fight-O-Wer. Who's Jackie?

H.R. Did we not do the Jared from Subway thing when you were here? Really? It's her thing. We added him in hopes that people would call that out, like, what the fuck? It's all we have left. It's our worst. We apologize.

We did it for a year. No one reacted. CM Punk finally was the first one to be like, what the fuck? That was a great. ending point for it once I called it out I want another one But everybody else is like all right I'd like to see Jared score now after being

prison system Oh no listen he will when he gets out of jail he will I mean Jared sets the record And then we have to put him on the banner It's probably nasty now yeah Covered in white supremacist tattoos Are you jacked now? Yeah that's weird What the fuck?

Whoa Dude what the fuck do you know what does that happen Test him Look at his neck What the hell, man? What are these muscles lats? Kyle, he did that quick. How do you get that?

Yeah. Kyle, his neck is wide as shit. I know. Wait, since when? Wait, yeah, that's, this is weird. When did you get jacked? Three months. Three months.

Is he doing a competition or something? Okay. But you were. Like, shit. Well, there goes his nickname. What was his nickname? Kyle, you've been working so hard on a neck. like that he's broad five days a week three months every week five years that's crazy

look at that book's awesome not even the neck I wanted that's the neck I dreamed a transformation like that since mints three months I've never seen that guy before but that's a crazy how are you quite the build hey where's your neck come on man he's the need a neck Doesn't need a neck? Kickers don't need it. Oh, he's coming back to that. Oh, you're good. You're making neck.

He said your neck was skinny. That guy beats me up. Makes me eat my book. Eat it. Makes me eat this one. Eat your book. I can't write. He never touches you.

He just gets you to eat. Eat it. Yes, sir. I have so much respect for Olympic athletes. I know we're supposed to poke fun, but like, can you imagine being in the Olympics? That'd be so fucking sick. Representing America. in America at the new sport.

Oh, my God. I'm so stoked for them. Where are they this year? L.A. L.A. 28. Yeah. Yeah.

Nice. Dude's getting too big, KB. Are dudes, are muscle? Is there too much muscle out there? There's too many dudes getting really big. Really fucking jacked. It's really watering down the stand. Your thing, yeah.

Yeah, I thought it was mine. Yeah, one of our sales guys shouldn't be jacked. I did one of my five lifts of the year yesterday. And I was at the gym just like, blown away. How many just like schmows. The schmows are... That's what I've come to know. The schmose are like just throwing weight around. That seems like... Genetic losers are now big

and jacked and it's throwing off the ecosystem. And is it a waste? Are they not using their bigness? Um, well, you know, like gym muscles don't really do anything functionally, but... There's had to been a huge uptake

and creatine, I feel like. Back in the day, we're like, oh, it's more than it's... They're going beyond creotene. Those muscles are just so they're They look good when they lay on top of our girlfriends. Yeah. They're good fuckers. It's nice for me to watch in the corner. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not even the athletes. It's just like... The dudes. Just the guys. Oh, it's everyone who works at Best Buy. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're just going to rip me in half when it comes.

Yeah, what's Sage doing with all that? I don't know, dude. Making sales. That was fucked up. That one's got to get Stella Blue into space. It's... I was right. I feel like it happened overnight.

She's a beast. Yeah. I got relegated to the teenagers bench press. Like, you know, like the, you know how the gym works? Like, the fucking big guys are here. And then, you know? I was all the way down there with, like, the 13-year-olds. At least they spotted you.

They came over and they're like, you almost done? You get dispatched. I'm like, damn. That reminds me of Illinois Governor Pritzker losing 80 pounds from GLP1. Can you imagine I just knew that off the top of my head? It worked it in organically? That's a crazy stat to know. We're having this debate.

I guess there's like a one in 10,000 chance you lose your vision now if you have a what's the number that you'd be like I'm not going to do well I couldn't see my penis before I'd rather be down a hundred what's the number like even one in a hundred I'd be like that's not me really one and a hundred one and a thousand scares me you know what else leads to losing your vision morbid obesity and diabetes true so I think it's a damned if you do but I think you don't you wouldn't take a one in a hundred chance oh I would vision is that would fuck me up Be skinny. You also gamble for a living.

Yeah. Yeah. One in a hundred feels like, I'm going to win that. 99 out of 100 times. All right. A number. Yeah. This is if you go blind.

Name a number. 12. 79. 37. See? Oh, wait. Wait, wait. Everyone pick a number.

Okay. 93. Oh, blind. 71. 12. 3. 19. 8.

16. 41. 17. 17. 18. 8. Oh. Oh my God.

Someone's going blind. So we're all good. We're good. Yeah. We're all good. Yeah. I feel like blindness is kind of going away. I think I take one in ten.

You would take one in ten. Blindness, one in ten. To go blind to lose 100 pounds? Seven. Three. One. Five. Six.

Oh. Blind. I'm not. What's the likelihood of LASIC fucking up? What are the odds on that? because I'm too scared to even do that. I'm also thinking about it. There's that dry eye syndrome

that makes people want to kill themselves. It feels like their eyes are sandpaper. And they say there's like a couple seconds after where you see nothing but darkness. I got that after reading this book. I wore my readers on my show for the first time last night because I can't read the ads at home, the light, and whatever.

And my show account kind of got me. Why? There's a cartoon character I look like? Mrs. Fowl from... Oh, my God, Brennan. Those are your readers? Oh, my God. We've got to get better readers.

That's brutal. Let me, can I just, those are my wife's readers. Yeah, I was going to say, those are not men's glasses. Which means those are my readers. They need to be further apart. You need to get better glasses. Well, they're just readers. You look like you play bass and slint.

I did. There's just readers, though. But get your own. You don't wear glasses if you just have readers, right? No, I think that's glasses, but you just don't want to admit that you have to use glass. Did you get it from girlglasses. dot org? I got from wherever my wife

buys her glasses and I do think she's a girl glass girl. Women get the best glasses. They are great glasses shoppers. The meet and greet, I'm always like, I love your glasses. And they're like,

okay. I'm not here for you. Yeah, yeah. This guy brought me. But they have time to fritter about and find glasses, not us. Yeah.

Only thing I'm frittering, man is some dandelion sandwiches before I get back in that coal mine. Catfish, yeah, man. We haven't spoke to you, Sam. Kate went out. I prefer it that way. It's for the

that. Kate hit you in the face at a show? After your last show, there was a long line of people to meet you. And I didn't want people to think I was budding. But I did want to, like, say hi to you really quick before I left. We had a babysitter time. Yeah. So I did cut in front of everybody, but then I was panicking. And so then when I went up to hug you, I just hit you in the face and knocked your glasses.

And then I was like, okay, see you later. And then you probably didn't think twice or remember it. And then I thought about it for a week after Christmas. All I remember thinking is, I'm so glad that Kate came. Yeah, no. But I did kill Tony on Monday. And Don L. Rawlings was on there. Rollins, excuse me. Dude.

Oh, if you watch this Kill Tony, you can see me get so fucking mad over the course of two hours. Because I'm sitting here, the comedian who's performing, the bucket pulls right here, Donnell's right here, and then Tony and Red Bander over there. So every time Donnell is looking at Tony and talking about the comedian, he is gesturing wildly and hitting me in the face at least 30 times. in the eye, glasses a jar, hat flip, in the ear, he once fish hooked me. And I can take an hour of that. I'm an old pro. I can take an hour

and a half of getting poked and prodded and talked over. But the second hour. But dude, you can see me, I think, around an hour and a half. He does it, and I just go What the fuck? Was he acknowledging that? He was like, oh, yeah, I just hit you. He was busy killing. He didn't even know that he was slapping you around.

He was busy doing the best job ever. Did it affect your job? How did you perform? Like this? Dude, I don't get mad. You can't get mad when you're doing comedy because you lose. So I'd have to sit there and be like,

another classic witticism. Like a bloody nose. Yeah, I was so mad, dude. I would really piss me off. Dude, and it's like just a little bit... Ten times. I get it. I'm over here.

You're in the pocket. You're doing your job. I'm cool. 20 times, though. And when a finger goes in the mouth? Did he, like, pull it away quick? No. He left it in all of his patented bits about, you know, different angles of vaginas around

the world or whatever. But yeah, I was becoming so mad. A finger in the mouth. Yeah. Fishook. And like we weren't like on peeky blinders, you know, it wasn't an extra in a period piece. Actually, Larry had his fingers in my fucking mouth. That's tough.

It's tough to go from like being a child. I know. And I told that to my wife. I was like, you know. know i grew up watching chapel show and then one day later on in your life you're furious ashy larry you want to kill ashie larry

because he keeps penetrating your head holes yeah uh showbiz man i hope to one day have ashie larry's fingers in my mouth well that'll happen tonight it's zanis yeah hope so yeah loud show he's coming

show night yeah nice kate dana beers oh yeah debut it's funny i know i know I can't wait to see what he does. I'm excited. Nice. Hope he eats a three-foot sub.

In his five-minute set, he's putting down a party. Actually, that would probably, like, that would kill me. They would have to get a new roof. Dany's downtown would be leveled. If Dana Beers ate a sub for five minutes. He was like, oh, that's a lot of subs. Gelliger. He's a classic belches.

Everybody's saying his line. Say it. I think the sandwich, and he keeps putting his finger up like, I'm about to. He does this one for like the last foot. That's a lot of stuff. When's he going to say it? That's a lot of stuff.

People have t-shirts made already. They rip them in half. They just devolved. That is his set. He ran it past me at lunch. Who's going to go after him? Oh, man. I think it's...

Kate. Oh, no. I'm going to steal his line. You're buried. You're fucked. You have to eat six feet of stuff. I would if it... That's what it takes.

You need to go out in a six-foot sandwich and pop out like Marilyn Monroe and a cake. It's MOOC. He's walking into a bus song. That's Anna Coker who works here. She's a newer employee. She said the first time she ever did stand up in her college town. She did a full hour. Whoa.

The first time she, right, Kyle? I think she was telling you that too at camp. Maybe not. But that is an hour. Crazy. Derek's group used to do that too. He just ran a bar and he'd be like, we're doing comedy night and he'd go up and do an hour

and now he has a Netflix special. Shout out to Strupe. Her thing was like it was so new. She was like, oh, like that's hard. Like that's not a normal thing. Like she just did an hour. I was like, oh, shit. That's insane. That blows my mind. Yeah. So she didn't know what she didn't know. She didn't know what she didn't know. And so she did an hour, which is I'm struggling with like 10 minutes. My 20

minutes is 17 minutes. And by that, I mean 14 minutes. And he's humping a lot of stools. All I do is thrust. All I do is thrust. Real physical. Yep. Yeah. That's a lot of stool. people like that's Dana's line we know we're out of here respect our intelligence we like the subline get the subbite guy back out

sublime up there that'd be sick I think I love poker I think I know her she's funny right yes she is very very funny yeah yeah stand up so weird because you have to learn this impossible task like five minutes at a time in like circumstances that no one cares

so like the fact that she was like doing an hour yeah pretty cool moot can't do hour. God, done. Shout out. That sucked. That sucked. The guy who played

goalie. Conhonor. Yeah. There's Olympic athletes. He's the one of my wedding that was asking. Yeah. Oh, he didn't invite us to this party. I think he asked Izzy. He was like, so would you do a

natural birth? What's your name again? He was at my birth. Like, at my. That's right. He was I looked down as I was pushing and he was there just shirtless

he said it's important for skin to scan I have a party in five minutes I want to come Connor Woodholt yeah he's a weird guy sure is

sure is a special boy yeah you see that uh chase speaking of weird guys almost got skunk this morning you almost got skunked Steve I wish

I wish he got one second away does you have the club I didn't skunked so bad one of the worst thing that's ever happened to me so it was it what

in your yard or something I was walking the dog at 530 walked around the sidewalk the dog went back to the car and she was just kind of like sitting next to it or like staring at it and so i was like what the hell's going on so i let her do it for like two or three seconds then i kind of pulled her away but she kept looking back at the car and it's pitch blackout so i'm like what the hell's going on so we start to go around the corner and then i kind of see a floodlight i look back at the car and a skunk scurries off i think if we were there for one more second we get sprayed wow so he didn't get sprayed did not but was it was it was it prepping to spray or to

scurrying. It was under the car so I couldn't see it like in the moment but it was under the car my dog was two feet or less away from it. It wasn't barking though. Have you experienced the skunking? No, I've never been that close to skunking before. Steve and Chee getting skunked. You've been skunked? I've had one walk between my legs before. I've been skunked for sure. I've been skunked. You really got to like bother him to get skunked. Or just be big at the like I was a big boy at night and I think I scared it and it. Yeah. Never be a big boy at night. Can't be a big boy at night. That's my next post.

That's what I did. I was walking around outside doing a phone call, and I felt something to go between my legs, and I went down there was just a skunk. Oh, God. That just went on. Does your street not have street lights? Very few.

I live in like a cul-de-sacs. Yeah. Did you have your bat or your golf club? I didn't, but I... The fact that his dog and he had their lights. Yeah, we had... Dog has a flashlight, too. And you're sure it was a skunk?

Positive. Yeah. Would you have clubbed the skunk to death if you had your golf club? How are you positive? I would try to not be near it. What if the skunk ran at you, would you have hit it? Certainly. What if the skunk won two Super Bowls?

And gay. There's that Che laugh we love. You got it. Brandon. It's very rare. Do people eat skunk down in Mississippi? Not skunk, no. Raccoon, squirrel.

Raccoon, possum, squirrel. Beaver's a big staple. But not skunk. Nobody's tried to. Rabbit, yeah. But rabbit's pretty standard. And it's interesting because the glands will permeate the entire flesh. Is that true?

could do like a death spray, but we use those glands for like raspberry flavoring. Like that's like whatever additive comes from skunk. I'm not falling for this one. Jay. Oh, hell no. Okay. I think you meant Chee looked it up. What the hell was that?

That's what you were looking for, Sam. You hit the wrong button. That might be the most damning thing he said so far. You thought that's what he meant? Yeah, what? Oh, wow. That's your instinct. Che.

Oh, boy. Right. Wait, Chee, that's not one of your lines, either. Not. That was like a first time you were like, this is what Sam wants. Hey, you were right, buddy. That was a, that's a Chris Tucker I've been working on for a while. It's right on.

Chris Tucker you just dropped? You're just talking? Like I was in Russia. Wait, give us the old Chris Tucker. God, damn. It's like he's in the room. So you were preparing for this moment? That's when you unveiled the new Tucker?

I do it all the time. Chee, you're close to a one-man rush hour show. Yeah. Can we hear Jackie Chan next? He's not good at Jackie Chey. He's not good at Jackie Chey. I can do a little, Jackie. Can you please? Yeah.

From the outtake scene. Of course. Everybody's favorite. A deep cut, the line that was not in the movie. After the credits. This is the one I'll memorize. All right.

So Chris Tucker calls Jackie the wrong man. calls him Jackie the wrong name yeah yeah kick the door on Jackie okay Chris Tucker is that what he said to Chris Tucker yes he kept calling him Jackie oh yes

that's why you play the games admittedly is a very deep cut back to the skunk glands you were thinking of beaver glands flavoring in vain no one cares Oh, hell no Oh, hell no It's vanilla

You said skunk A little off What a fool I am I've been exposed You're fake Yeah Oh fuck I want that drop

For when people refute my facts Stephen Yeah Oh hell no What was live What was fun This is one of the most fun things you can do in entertainment. Any other racist drops you back in?

Do you have Jackie Chan if he was in Apocalypse Now? No chance he's seen that. I have not seen that. Stephen has watched seven movies and they're all rushing out. No, he watches every new movie that comes out, but there's no way he's seen any of the classic. It's a classic. Apocalypse now. What years is it? 79? Have you seen the

Godfather? Yes, actually. Hated them. Oh. Okay. I watched them all like that. Oh, hell no. What did you hate about them? Too long? Too long. Yeah. He's going to say something like that. Too long. Too long?

They were all very long. Huh. Yeah. His perfect movie is 87 minutes long. It's the town. 15 to 17 laughs. 50 yet right nothing too totally memorable

nothing too totally out there has to have a love has to have one love scene but not two can't have any like cartoons or anything that's like

and everything you're saying is irrespective of genre does not matter if he was going to see a horror movie he would want all of this if he was going to see

a rom-com he would want all of this okay what's the best movie of the past five years movie oh he did love the invite is up there

he invited the movie air now you remember the movie air about Michael Jordan's I didn't hate it but he hated it because there was no love scene I mean a man loved the shoes

and the money there was yeah I mean it was there was a soul focus and that was yeah soul that's so good that's so good

that was so well yeah redemption song for Jay what's your favorite movie of all time yeah what are your

10 out of tens I have three favorite movies Jerry McGuire the Truman Show and you're such a basic bit those are the last one up in the air.

Yeah, I mean, those are good movies. Well, the first two were good. Up in the air's good, man. It's good. It's good. It's not, it's not. You love airports. You literally an hour ago you said your favorite thing is to be at airports.

I said to eat at airports. He was eating. There was a lot of eating in that. Are you thinking of the air? Yeah. That's what you're thinking of what you're thinking of. Kevin Bacon. That's what you're thinking.

No. I just told you what up in the air was. No, no. He's like the tall guy. They find him in Africa. Right. That's the air up there with Kevin. That's why you don't like it.

Yeah. In Colorado, they had an initiative where we all got to see the air up there. Like, they took us out of class to go see it in movie theaters because Matumbo's, that was Matumbo's, that was his people. So, yeah, it was like a big cultural exchange for rural Colorado schools. Go see a movie. Make a statue of Matumbo, dude, wagging the finger, put that in front of ball arena. Kate, you have some, you know Matumbo, right? Yeah, so I got to do a cameo for my uncle who had cancer.

I mean, that man's a saint. He is an angel on earth. He spent all his money on the hospital. on earth anymore. He was really lovely and he gave him like the most heartfelt. He looks like a late stage. Yeah.

Or Diego Maradona. Is that Belichick? Fun? Diego Maradona right before he died. Yeah, yeah. For the last month. Right after he died. Chee, what were you going to say just there?

I saw your face. I know the Chey face well. I had a question that won't be well received. Okay. Good. I'm happy I asked you. You won't be. It's a Denver specific question.

Okay. Is there cheese in a demo? Denver omelet, I thought there was, and then I went to a place that didn't have cheese. Yeah, Western omelet traditionally has cheddar cheese. Ham. Why would I not like that question? I mean, onions and green bell peppers. That question sucks.

Objective. Are you offended by that question? Not at all. It's like... It's a nothing burger. Do you think that the city of Denver, like, as a voting populace came together and voted what goes in a Denver omens? Denver omens are delicious. Oh, they're fantastic.

They might go to. And you know, the key is a little half and half. A little splash of half and a half. In the omel. That doesn't. seem right. Yeah, man, I'm telling you. I put it in my scrambled eggs. Yeah, yeah. Makes a big difference. I think it's like a, like a dust bowl remnant that he held onto. But yeah. Yeah, Denver Omlet's a real solid order. Western omelet. I think it's, you got everything

you want about breakfast right there. Yeah. You guys ever had a shredded Canadian breakfast ham? No. No. It's like a fucking country ham, but pulled pork style, dude. Sounds amazing. And they, like, fry it in maple. Oh, my God. I was in Winnipeg this weekend. It was delight. Are you using that to cover up, like, eggs and stuff? Or are you cover up? You know what? They put it on like a, it was like a classic like English breakfast, but instead of sausages, they put the maple ham on there and it was lights out. I'll be disgusting. Oh, look at that. Bingo, man, yeah.

It looks like afterbirth, but still, it's delightful. You fried up in maple syrup. Ooh. It makes you make that noise every time. Oh, I like asked a bunch of questions about it and the lady was like, it's ham. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah.

Please, I'll have the ham. Yeah. Any other Denver specific questions, Jay? Is there a Denver staple cuisine? Yeah, green chili. Okay. Green chili, we stole it from New Mexico. Okay.

Green chili is ours, but we put pork in it. It was more of a condiment for them. But we brought it up, put pork, and now it's like our staple. Okay. But yeah, we stole it from the good people. Never been to Colorado. What the hell is it? It's never been.

I'm going this weekend. Yeah? What are you doing? You just got back from it, right? No, I was in Cali. Where's my wedding? In the mountains somewhere? Yeah.

Somewhere in the mountains. I don't know, one of those mountain weddings. You know the time. I mean, I usually mount after the way. My man. Cleveland hilarities. Five shows this week. Where were you doing chin-ups?

What the hell? Yeah, I had done that before. He saw Sage. He looks yoked out. Yeah, Sage's got in your head. He had like. Really did. Yeah, I could tell.

You had cock ingestions, injections. That's all I'm worried. Three months seems absurd. Yeah. That seems like not true. Three months? Maybe he's just committed. to it? It looks like he could be doing

like a competition. That's how he, like, maybe he's doing that. Or his wife left. Or his wife left. Yeah. Yeah. That's wife left body. It's a divorce body. She's probably coming back now though. I'd be crawling back on a leash. But I'd say no. You don't get this body anymore because you have that one.

All right. Everyone go by Brute. Oh, yeah. I'm going to start your life. Please buy Brute. Sam is the man. I always love having you on. I love coming. You guys are so nice to. me. Yeah, Sam, I can take this? Yeah, it's for you, man. Everyone has a book. Yeah, good. It's about a hitman in Paris killing people with guns and hatchets. It's explosive. It's propulsive. I'm very proud of it. The way you describe the meals in the book, had it hungry. I love Paris, dude.

Yeah, so it's like, it's my love letter. Yeah, but if you like hatchet murder, please. That too. Yeah. How about the last 30 pages, bro? I'm so proud of that, man. I don't want to I know, but like that, like, I did a book event last night. Book event tonight at Barnes & Noble on state tomorrow at go bananas Bloomington on the 30th at Morgan Stearns and then Indianapolis and St. Louis for shows but my wife was like what's your favorite part of the book and I was like the end

the end like when he just makes the decision and goes for it yeah I'm very proud of it get it and also if you can order it now Stoly's that'd be great because I really want to be a bestseller and you guys buy merch it's not a waste of time your girlfriends will be impressed and then you can talk to me about it at shows Stooleys have

come out more than most and I'm so stoked that they give a shit about my comedy. Yeah, they're legit. Great covers. And also, they don't spit their zins in the fucking urinal. Like, I'll say this. I get a lot of guys in white hats come to the shows who tell me they're from Barstool, from the YAC specifically, and Anus.

The Anianx guys are fun, too. All right. Yeah, they usually have, like, sunglasses on inside, and they're wearing a trench coat. Those are our guys. Yeah, they're dressed like The Undertaker. Like, are you Lemon Party? No, we're anus. Oh, okay. But yeah, thank you, Stoleys. Come out, Midwest. Yeah, get the book. But get the book. Buy the book. Get the book. Right now.

the book. $24 on Amazon. It'll be there tomorrow. Buy the book. You guys all work in tech or finance, just or a slush fund. Barstool, you guys need to get some gifts for your corporate clients this year. Also, for dudes, this is cool on a coffee table. This looks like something that will look. Even if you're not reading it,

carry it around. Right. Yeah. It'll get you laid. It will get you laid. It's a tough object. You can put it in a pillowcase and, you know, beat a skunk to death with it, Che, whatever you need. It's a matte finish. It smells good. All right, spin the wheel. T's

Thank you, Sam. Thank you guys. I have to always have you stopped by. Hopefully you have some Chicago shows coming up. Not any on the book. Get them on there. I know. Dry.

All right. See everyone tomorrow. Thank you. I love one. By the book. Buy the book. Buy the book. Bye the book.

Bye it. Love you guys. See you tomorrow. Watch the after dark stream. Bye-bye.